#its not too long rn and i cut it myself a few days ago n i kinda really hate it

[absolutelyzoned]

chat i want a more masculine haircut but like. i feel like i would look like a girl no matter what. help. send ideas. please. i need ideas

[axel-skz]

You’re not funny…

Part 1, Part 2

Can be read as a oneshot

A/N: ok so I’m keeping it nice and sweet rn lol ive been taking forever to write but I finally managed to push myself into doing it. Right, lets do the song roulette and see what we get… I got an ad 😭 ok wait, we got… TMT 🥳👯‍♀️🥳

Minho came over in the morning and he sighed when you opened the door.

‘If I could freeze time and spend 50 years worth of time with you, I would.’

You laughed, ‘life got you down, huh?’

‘Understatement of the entire century,’ he said while walking in.

When he put his stuff down, he yawned dramatically then walked over and gave you a hug.

‘Damn, someone needs to sleep,’ you tried to mask your worry with humour. It really was worrying how it became a normal thing for him to come over and go straight to sleep. ‘In need of a nap?’

He nodded into your shoulder, ‘I sleep best when I’m here… I don’t get why I can’t sleep as restfully at home. I’m also sorry I spend whatever time we have sleeping so much.’

‘Min, I’m here to care for you. If you need to sleep and this is where you sleep best, I’m nothing but happy to see you rest.’

He groaned, ‘don’t sayyy thattt!!! I’ll never want to leave. I’ll retire and hide here for the rest of my life like a hobo.’

You laughed, ‘I mean, atleast then no one cuts your hair. I would have to agree with stay, it looks too good long. Oh, stay would kill me too for harbouring you.’

‘I’ll protect you. So will my stans,’ he pulled away and winked.

‘Ok, now you need to stop because I might actually end up keeping you here,’ you gave him a kiss then lead him to your room. ‘Nap time!’

He laughed as he followed behind you. You guys got into comfortable clothes and bundled up in blankets. He was laying with his face in your neck and you had one of your hands in his hair, massaging his scalp. It was the epitome of comfort.

‘Min, you feeling any better?’

He sleepily replied, ‘shh, I’ll kill you if you wake me’

You gasped dramatically as you pulled your hand away from his hair, ‘you said you loved me!’

‘I can love you and want to kill you,’ he pulled your arm back to his hair.

‘Ever the romantic, aren’t you?’

He shushed you even louder and covered your mouth. You laughed but the quietened down to let him sleep. You kept running your fingers through his hair soothingly and slowly, you drifted off to sleep too.

You laughed half asleep when you heard him snore. You really wished you could be here with him forever, it would be so nice never having to worry about him leaving.

When you woke up, it was dark now, he was still asleep so you carefully got up. You left to go get some food from a shop a few minutes from your house. While you were waiting for the food, you got some texts.

‘My crazy cat lady ♥️,’ the name made you laugh everytime you saw it.

My crazy cat lady: why have you abandoned me? I feel so cold…so alone…so isolated…and you have no chocolate anywhere…

Y/N: I’m getting food, you drama queen. I already binged all the chocolate two days ago so its on you for thinking I’d have any 😘

My crazy cat lady: I feel less abandoned now, but bring it faster. You’ve been gone for like a million years.

Y/N: how long have you been awake?

My crazy cat lady: 5 minutes.

Y/N: 💀 you get on my nerves more then anyone else

My crazy cat lady: Crying. Thank you so much.

Y/N: I’m gonna take longer on purpose now.

My crazy cat lady: why must you play with my heart?!

Y/N: because I love you so much :)

My crazy cat lady: you’re lucky I love you too.

Y/N: <33 I’m still gonna take extra time

My crazy cat lady: the question is, why do I love you?

Y/N: my irresistible charm?

My crazy cat lady: no… thats me…

Y/N: I’ll eat the food myself here… don’t test me…

My crazy cat lady: oh yeah, you’re like the most beautiful, irresistible person I’ve ever met!

Y/N: ikr ;)

My crazy cat lady: my food :’) please

Y/N: yeah yeah, I’m on my way.

You got home and you guys spent the rest of the night watching movies and eating. You were very conscious of the fact you had 24 hours till he would be leaving. It was always in the back of your mind.

A/N: it feels rn like the universe hates me but here we are lmao. I hope this was nice, I needed the jokey fluffy moment. I’ll try to upload sooner this time. Hope you like this, remember to like, repost and leave feedback. If you have any requests, lemme know. I’m listening to chill rn so if you hate me… chill :)

DISCLAIMER: Pictures don’t belong to me, credit to the respective owners.

Part 4

[anyoneseenadam]

Hey can you please do a azriels reader where the reader is really struggling with bad mental health (maybe an Ed) because I’m really struggling rn myself and also there are not enough of those :). I can totally understand if you don’t want or don’t feel comfortable doing it ♥️

pairing: Azriel x reader (acotar)

wanrings: mental health descriptions, mentions of depression, eating disorders and self harm, but asides from that just soft, fluffy Az

a/n: so this is pretty self indulgent, and make sure you read the warnings because its pretty dark at some points, let me know what you think and also follow @anyoneseenadamtaglist if you want to be on my taglist <33

The days felt longer. They started dragging on and on a few months ago, old habits from your teenage years rearing their heads and pulling you back into the murky, dark water they held you under. You couldn’t breathe, ever, lungs always too tight. Your skin ached and every time you looked in the mirror you had to fight the urge the rip it from your body, permanent tears staining your face. And the days were so, so long.

You had been in pain for years, for as long as you could remember. You couldn’t remember the happiness you had been consumed by only a few weeks prior. You couldn’t remember the happiness you felt on solstice morning when you were 8 years old. You couldn’t remember happiness from any point at you life, not one instance of joy springing to your mind.

You felt like you were trapped in the shell of your body watching as someone else says and does things for you. An insecure monster controlling you making you powerless against her as she’s mean to people so they’re not mean to her, cutting people out before they can do the same to you, hurting you before anyone else can. You hate the things you say yet you can’t do anything to stop yourself. Your family, your mate, say they don’t mind but even if they don’t hate you, you hate yourself. And you hate the monster.

You want to tear the monster from under your skin, cut her out, burn her to ash and be rid of her forever. You dreamed of it, nights spent watching the clock hands click from second to second, minute to minute, hour to hour, as you pictured yourself with a flaming sword tearing the monster down. But as you stood over the torn-up body, you would always feel too light. Your feet would rise off the floor, and you’d fly so high that you’d wish you could simply touch the ground again, feel the dirt between your toes.

It was always one way or another, deep under water or breathless in the cold air. You were helpless against the monster – yet you were nothing without it. And if you weren’t worth anything without the monster controlling you, then why were you still here.

Azriel noticed as soon as you stopped eating. You were growing frailer and weaker everyday, shadows deep under your eyes even though he spent every night curled around your body, trying to will you to sleep with his body heat every night. But it was like you weren’t even there.

Your eyes were vacant, and you didn’t speak to him anymore. You stayed in bed all day, eyes dry as you stared unblinking at the clock or wet as you sobbed into you pillow, breaths harsh and fast. But even when he held you, rocking you as you cried and holding your face in his scarred hands, tearful eyes begging yours to look at him with any sense of recognition.

You didn’t want to hurt him. You were banging on the glass between you and your control, screaming and sobbing and trying to reach the man you loved. But you couldn’t tear the wall down no matter how hard you tried, so you stayed vacant, and you stayed away.

Azriel had a mission. He didn’t want to go; he was afraid to leave you alone when you were still so deep down in your head that he wasn’t sure you would pull through. And he couldn’t lose his mate, the one person that kept him sane for so many years – who loved him and cared for him as much as he loved and cared for you. He wouldn’t lose you.

But alas duty calls. So as he stood by the door and held you tightly, kissing your cheeks - twice on each side, then your nose, chin and finally mouth. He never wanted to let go, he wanted to hold you close forever and will you better with his own two hands.

“I’ll be okay,” you whispered into his chest, not even believing your own words as you forced a smile to ease his nerves. But nothing could cool the sick feeling in his stomach when he kissed your bony hand, wrist so fragile he feared he would break you.

“I know darling. Because my best girl doesn’t give up, eh?” He lifted your chin with his hand, “And someone has to clean me up when I get back.”

You laughed but it rang hollowly through your chest, the sound empty and meaningless when your eyes didn’t sparkle the way they usually did, and your head didn’t tilt back as it usually would.

He eventually brought himself to leave the warmth of your home, anxiety deep in his stomach even after he was given reassurance after reassurance that his family would check up on you as often as possible. But even then he rushed his mission, gathering and distributing information as quickly as he possibly could, learning everything he needed to know and amping up his techniques when it came to the extraction of said information. He almost felt bad for the helpless scum under his blade, but any remorse was quickly overshadowed when he thought of your sweet, sad eyes. And how lonely you must feel.

He wanted to be back in bed with you, where he could help you. He was going to make you feel better if it was the last thing he did because he loved you more than life itself, and he wouldn’t give up on you.

You had almost given up on yourself. You were completely unaware of how much he had an impact, because as soon as he left you felt like a ton of bricks had fallen on top of you. Now you had to climb into an empty bed and pull the sheets tight around your shoulders, and warm your own soup when you tried to force some down. You had taken to eating a spoonful whenever you felt like you would faint, but even that was bland and tasteless, no matter how much you seasoned it.

Your family also checked up on you. Mor and Feyre bringing flowers and tea – coming to discuss anything and everything, but they usually left after less than an hour when you couldn’t reply with more than short, clipped words. Cassian would stay for longer, a strong arm around your shoulders as he sat with you in silence, your relationships sibling-like and comforting. But even that was too much and you would have to shrug him off when you grew overwhelmed. With everyone else it was friendly visits, bringing soup and making sure you were still alive. And everyone was tiring you.

When Azriel finally returned home, you were paper thin and your skin had dulled beyond belief, paled and ashy. Your shoulders were hunched, hands were shaking, and your eyes watered as soon as they met his. You wanted to wail and sob and scream at him for leaving, and you wanted to fall into his arms and let him fight away your pain for you.

But you settled, muttering a small, “Hi.”

Your voice was quiet and sad, he could barely hear you over the sound of his own heavy breaths and he reached for you with shaking hands, frowning when you crossed your arms around your body, eyes glistening.

“You were gone for so long,” you whispered, stepping closer to him slowly, “Gone for weeks.”

“No darling, I was only away for a few days,” he felt panic rise in him, “I’m sorry, but I’m home now and my best girl needs my help now.”

“I’m okay, really. I feel much better.” You tried to force some light into your voice, but he frowned regardless, seeing through your lies like water on a clear day. He stepped towards you and rested his hands on your biceps, not gripping too tightly in order to not overwhelm you.

“Baby…” he implored you to tell him the truth, tugging on your bond gently and stooping to look into your eyes. They weren’t empty anymore, filled with pain and remorse as everything inside you fought to reach out to him.

“I- I just,” you tried to speak, the words bubbling up in your throat as tears filled your eyes. Azriel watched, heartbroken, as the tears spilled over your delicate lash line and fell down your pretty face, staining your dull skin as he instantly moved forward – pulling you into his arms and shushing you as he rocked you gently in his arms.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered into his chest, voice shaky and coming out quickly as you gripped him tight – fingers twiddling and toes curling as you tried to fight the itching under your skin. “I don’t know what’s wrong I just feel… bad.”

You couldn’t find the words. Your voice was stuck in your throat and as a million thoughts flew in through your head, you couldn’t pick one out to explain to your mate why you were the way you were.

“I know my love, and that’s okay.” His voice was so soft as he rocked you, you felt him kiss your head gently before he pulled away slightly – touching your face as you looked at the floor. “Can I take you to the bathroom, a bath will make you feel better.”

You nodded slowly as he gathered you up into his arms, carrying you through to the bathroom as you curled deeper and deeper into him – wishing you could crawl into him, become one being instead of two. He drew a bath, carefully choosing the salts he added and the scent of the bubbles he poured in. He set you down on the closed toilet seat and kneeled in front of you while removing the clothes you hadn’t changed since he left you.

Once you were naked he lifted you into the tub, the water hot against your skin as you curled your knees into your chest. He took his time washing your hair first, with a small jug he kept beside the sink and your fancy shampoo, anything to make you feel better. Then he conditioned your hair and twisted it up to remove it from your back so he could scrub the dirt from your skin with a cloth and a bar of soap, but you remained sitting still, sniffling. The quiet was suffocating you, but you couldn’t speak, couldn’t move until Azriel was lifting your head gently to wipe your face softly – taking his time to kiss you gently on the cheek as he went.

Once you were clean he pulled the plug on the drain and let the water run down as he lifted you onto the soft mat, wrapping you in a fluffy towel and smiling down at you as you finally met his eyes – kissing him softly on the mouth as your hot tears subsided.

He dried and dressed you, ensuring you felt clean and warm when he sat you in front of the fire with your favourite tea in your hands – letting him strip and remake the bed as you sipped at it slowly, hunger brewing in your stomach. That could wait until morning however, your heart still so heavy when you put your mug down and crawled into bed next to Azriel.

“Maybe you should meet your therapist again love? She always helps when you get bad again.” Azriel held you to his chest as his eyes focused on the art you had hung on the wall. He stroked down your back, one hand running up to massage your head gently.

“Yeah, maybe I should,” you still felt bad, but slightly better in a clean bed and clean clothes. You would worry about the rest tomorrow morning, but for now you were happy to finally let the exhaustion that had built up drag you into its plush grip.

You weren’t fixed and the monster still loomed over your shoulder, but you were better lying in your mates’ arms. You could heal and you could get through this again because you needed to, and because Azriel needed you to. You would pull through for him – you’d survive for him. And you’d survive for you.

[hangovercurse]

Thesis

After a bad day, Colson comes over to take care of you, only to find out about a secret you’ve been keeping from him.

Request: “I was wondering if you could do a Kells fic where he's dating the reader and finds out she is c*tting, and helps her. Its total ok if you aren't comfortable writing this though 🖤”

Colson X Reader

Warnings: discussion and depictions of self-harm, cursing, angst

A/N: Gonna get really serious with this one: If you are struggling with self-harm (in all forms, not just those discussed in this text) or issues with your mental health, please reach out to someone! Family, friends, anyone. I know it’s hard and you may feel like no one cares, but I promise someone does. If you don’t feel comfortable telling someone you know, message me. My page is a safe space and I will never judge you. I promise you, the world is a much better place with you in it and you deserve to take up space, you deserve to be happy.  

On that note, do not read this if you feel it may be triggering to you, please.

Word Count: 2457

 You sighed as you read the email subject Re: Y/L/N Final Thesis Revised 2. Every time your doctoral advisor sent you an email in response to any work on your thesis, it wasn’t good.

Ms. Y/L/N,

I regret to inform you that the corrections that you have made are still not adequate enough for submission to the board. Please read my notes attached for further work to be done.

You didn’t even bother reading the rest of the email, instead choosing to slam your head down against your wooden desk. “Fuck!” You yelled to your empty house.

You had rewritten your doctoral thesis 4 times already and submitted for approval twice, both of which were rejected. Your advisor was trying to be patient with you, but you could tell his tolerance was running low. “What am I doing wrong?” You whispered to yourself, closing your eyes as you let your head rest against the wood.

Maybe you’re just not smart enough. That unhelpful voice in your mind chimed in, making you groan. Seriously though, if you were smarter, then you would have been approved already.

Your chest started tightening and you felt nauseous, tears coming to your eyes. You reached around for your phone, hearing Colson’s voice in your mind. “If you have a bad day, text me. You can always talk to me.”

Hey

You texted him, hoping he would respond soon. Your breathing was getting heavier and you just wanted to talk to someone that wasn’t the voice in your head.

Hey, I’m in the studio rn, everything ok?

My thesis got rejected

Again :(

I’m sorry babe

Wanna see you

Colson didn’t answer for a few moments, and you had a feeling he was letting out a frustrated sigh. You hated bothering him at work, it always made you feel like a nuisance to him.

I can’t leave right now

:(

You’ll be okay

It’s just a paper

Now it was your turn to let out a sigh. Colson didn’t exactly understand why this was so important to you. Every time you got upset after it didn’t turn out well, he told you the same thing, “It’s just a paper, you can just rewrite it.”

But it’s not just a paper. It’s currently the only thing standing between you and a doctorate degree. And you’ve rewritten it four times before.

He’s just sick of you whining about it.

You annoy him

He doesn’t care about you

You got up from your desk and made your way to the bathroom, not sure if you were going to throw up or do something worse. The voice kept speaking, her incessant words running through your head.

You know what’ll make you feel better.

And you did. You had been trying to stop, and you were doing pretty good until a few weeks ago. Up until that point it was rare, a few times a month. Now it was 4 times a week; more days than not.

You reached under your bathroom counter, pulling out the small, inconspicuous makeup bag. You brought it over and set it on the edge of the bathtub, sitting on the floor next to it.

The zipper felt familiar under your fingers as you pulled it, the metal coming into view. Your secret stash of hellish paradise.

You pulled one of the razers out, feeling the coolness on your skin. Pulling up the sleeve of your sweater, you placed the sharp edge against the fragile skin on your wrist. You took a deep breath as you slid it across the skin, not even wincing at the pain. The blood rolling out of the wound was beautiful to you, a therapy in itself. You laid the arm over the bathtub, taking another slice at your wrist.

You had to be careful not to go too close to the hand or else the sweaters you wore could ride up and expose you, and you couldn’t make too many cuts or someone would be bound to notice.

Once you had made 4 slits in your skin, you stopped. The razor fell to the edge of the bathtub as you watched the blood drip down your arm, gravity pulling it towards your hand to pool in your palm. As fucked up as it was, you liked the view. The pain barely registered to you anymore.

It felt like all the fears were draining from your body with the blood. You knew it would all come back eventually, but in this moment, you felt peace. Your stomach stopped turning and your chest loosened. And for just a little while, the voices in your head were gone.

You laid there for probably 30 minutes, the peaceful silence engulfing you. Eventually you came back to your senses, realizing the mess you had made. You sighed, standing up and turning the faucet on. You watched the blood that sat in the tub wash away before running your arm under the water. It stung a bit, but the blood disappeared from your arm, leaving you with the visual of 4 dark red cuts.

Once the tub was clean, you moved to the cabinets under the sink again, this time grabbing a package of band-aids and covering the marks that were bleeding slightly after the water pressure opened them up again. You ran the blade under water from the sink to clean it before throwing it back in the bag and hiding it. Satisfied that all evidence of your sins was gone, you pulled down the sleeves of your sweater and made your way to your couch to watch a true crime documentary.

A little over a half hour later Colson texted you.

Picking up your favorite food :)

Be over in 10

You smiled at your phone for a second before guilt crept into your mind. How could you think that he doesn’t care about you? He’s never done anything but love you.

You are the world’s worst girlfriend.

You bit your lip, trying to make the thoughts go away. You didn’t want to be upset when Colson got there, it would spoil his whole night.

It didn’t quite work, but you were able to put on a fake smile when he got to your door. He set the bags of food on your coffee table before flopping on top of you on the couch. His face buried into your neck, pressing soft kisses onto the skin all over. He did this whenever he knew you were sad, it made you laugh.

He sat up, looking down on you, “how’s my girl doing?” He whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

“Better now that you’re here.” You mumbled, throwing your clothed arms around his middle and pulling him back against you. He chuckled and flipped you around so his back was against the couch and you were resting on his chest.

You smiled at him, you don’t deserve him, the voice screamed. You ignored it, burying your head into his shirt, the smell of him filling your nose. “What’re we watching?”

Your voice was muffled by the fabric, “The Vanishing of Elisa Lam.”

He looked up, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head, “of course we are.”

“We can watch something else.” You mumbled. Colson chuckled and sat up, pulling you with him to rest in his lap, your back against his chest.

His long arm reached to grab the food off the table, setting one box in your hands. “Your weird true crime show is fine, babe. You choose tonight.” He kissed your cheek, making you smile and sink further into his chest.

A little while passed and you had both finished your food, placing the empty boxes on the table. Colson’s arms were around your waist and you moved to hold his hands. You had tried wrapped your palm over the back of his hand, but he flipped his hand so his palm encased yours. As the documentary played, he began to rub circles into your skin subconsciously, moving down your wrist slowly.

In his arms you momentarily forgot about your session in the bathroom from earlier, but when his thumb brushed against the bandage on your arm you were shocked back into reality. “What’s that?” He mumbled, chin resting on your shoulder and looking down to the shirt sleeve.

“Nothing, I cut myself doing dishes earlier.” You lied, it being second nature at this point.

Colson’s hand moved to the edge of your sleeve, moving to roll it up. “You’re so clumsy sometimes.”

You yanked your arm out of his hand as you felt the fabric moving up, “what are you doing?” You asked, holding your arm closer to yourself subconsciously.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “I was gonna kiss it better.” He mumbled.

“It’s fine, you don’t need to.” You sighed, turning your attention back to the TV. He didn’t like that answer and based off of your reaction, he could tell something was up.

He reached to hold your arm again, and you relaxed into his touch, thinking he would just hold your hand. Instead, he dragged your sleeve up your arm, exposing four band-aids on your wrist and older, exposed scars.

“Colson!” You yelled, standing up and wiggling out of his grasp.

He had a shocked expression on his face that slowly turned into a mixture of concern and hurt. He tried to form words but was struggling. Finally, he got out a whispered “why?”

You bit your tongue, arms wrapped around your body as you faced away from him. Your breathing got heavy and you could feel tears coming to your eyes. He’s definitely gonna leave you now.

When you didn’t respond he stood up slowly, walking towards you and wrapping his arms around you. His lips met the top of your head briefly before replacing them with his chin.

The feeling of his embrace was enough to send your walls crashing down, tears finally falling down your face. You shook in his arms, your knees buckling under you. He whispered as he held you up, “hey hey hey hey, I’m here, baby. I’m right here. You can talk to me.” He led you back to the couch, pulling you back into his lap. You turned towards him and buried your face into his chest. His arms wrapped around you tighter than they ever had before.

Your sniffles filled the room, followed by your quiet “I’m sorry.”

Colson shook his head, taking your face in his hand and moving it away from his skin so you were forced to look at him. “You don’t have to be sorry.” You nodded and he slowly wiped the tears from under your eyes. The soft motion made you calm down ever so slightly. After a few minutes of being held, your sobs stopped, tears not falling as hard. “Can we talk about this.”

You sniffled but nodded your head, your eyes not meeting his. “I’m not gonna be upset with you, or angry. I just need you to be honest with me, okay?” He asked, his blue eyes searching your face. You simply nodded again, turning your head all the way down so your nose was parallel to the floor. The top of your head pressed against Colson’s chest.

“How long?” His voice was a whisper, but it held an infinity of emotion.

You mumbled out a response, “a while.” You could feel how fast his heart was beating, “Before I met you. It’s just gotten a lot worse lately.”

He nodded, sucking his lips in. “Why didn’t you talk to me? You know you can always talk to me, darling.”

New tears fell from your eyes. “I tried to.” You whispered, feeling guilty. His hand moved to tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear.

He took a few moments to remember what you were talking about before he sighed. “Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that you were so upset. I didn’t know.” He whispered, “But I know now, so from now on you gotta tell me if you feel like doing this to yourself.”

You nodded against him. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that. Don’t be sorry, why are you sorry?” He asked

You shrugged, “sorry you have to deal with me.”

He grabbed your face again, this time forcing you to look him in the eyes. “Don’t ever say that again. Okay? I fucking love you. You’re going through some shit right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop loving you. I don’t want you to ever think that.” As he spoke his harsh tone got softer, quieter.

“I just don’t feel like I’m good enough, for anything.” You slumped into him, your head laying on his shoulder.

His arms pulled you further into him, “Y/N, you are the smartest, most amazing, most beautiful person I’ve ever met. You’re literally about to become a doctor! That’s fucking incredible. I am so proud of you.”

“’m not really gonna be a doctor.” You mumbled, “I can’t get this fucking thesis approved.”

He sighed into your hair, “You are going to get through this. You have worked your ass off to get here, I know you’re not gonna let a stupid paper get in your way.” He pressed a kiss into your hair and you looked up to him, a pout still on your face. “Baby you aren’t just good enough, you’re better. I know it feels shitty right now but you’re gonna get through this. And I’m gonna be right here with you.”

He leaned down and pressed a deep kiss to your lips. It took a second, but you kissed him back. “Thank you.” You whispered when you pulled away, reaching up to wipe your tears away with the sleeve of your sweatshirt.

“I love you.” He whispered, “do you think we could throw your blades away?” He asked softly.

“I might need your help.” You whispered. He nodded, lifting you off his lap and standing up. He grabbed your hand and you led him to your bathroom. You found the bag and handed it to him. “I can’t…” You whispered, trying to stop the tears you felt behind your eyes.

Colson nodded, taking it from you and opening it, frowning at the metal inside. “I don’t want to throw them away here, because you could get them out of the trash later. So, I’m gonna take them back to my house tomorrow and I’ll throw them out there.”

You nodded, hand squeezing his. You moved closer to him, resting your free hand on his shoulder, and pressing your cheek against his chest. “I love you.”

He smiled down at you, wrapping his arm around you, “I love you too.”

[shoichee]

Omgomg, congratsss on 200!!! You deserve all of ittt💕 could I have 15 for akashi pleasee? Thank youu!!

HI ANONIE, I’m flattered that you think that I have 200 REEEE but it’s actually just a 100 milestone hahahaha;; hope you’re lurking around on my blog rn and sorry it took a while, but without further ado.... i present to you

Akashi x Reader

15. “Stop pretending you’re okay, cause I know you’re not”

Word Count: 2696

prompt list here

Note: we need more boku-akashi, i repeat, we need more SCARY AKASHI (SHAMELESS plug of another boku-akashi fic i did here)

»»—————　☼　—————««

Everything changed after that violent rainstorm that day.

You did not know what happened in Teiko’s gymnasium that practice, but no matter how much you try to probe Momoi, Murasakibara, and even Kuroko about it on separate occasions, none of them seemed willing to divulge anything to you. It seems like everyone suddenly became a different person in just a single day, and you are left completely in the dark, grasping for nothing and having no clue what to do.

“H-haha…” Momoi nervously stammered. “Honestly, I think it was just a really bad day for everyone… I’m just concerned for Dai-chan…” And with that, you remember her dashing away to the stairs to cut the conversation short. You wonder what she meant about Aomine.

“Hnn,” Murasakibara hummed dismissively. “Practice is just getting annoying.” He never said anything more, and his silence spoke louder than words to you as he stared down at you with his peripheral vision: “leave now.” And so you reluctantly leave, your mind swirling with even more questions than you had prior.

“Ah…” Kuroko said. “Mm, well, I worry for our team… is all, but please don’t worry about us too much, (y/n)-san.”

“Kuroko?” you called out, deciding to drop the topic seeing his slight discomfort.

“Yes?”

“Do you know where Seijuro is?”

He flickered his gaze to the floor for a quick second before he returned his eyes to you.

“... I don’t know.”

“That can’t be helped,” you reassured him. “I’ll look for him myself. Thanks, Kuroko!” As you ran outside to head towards the gym, Kuroko stretched out his arm in a feeble attempt to stop you, but his fingers barely grazed your hair and ended up clasping air as he watched you with dread at the inevitable harsh truth you were about to encounter.

After all, who had the heart to tell you that Akashi Seijuro wasn’t as he seemed this entire time?

Gasping for air as you creak the bulky doors open, you immediately notice the lack of lights turned on, with only the evening sunlight filtering through the foggy windows from the 2nd floor giving the gym its light source. Amidst the stretched shadows on the court, only Midorima stands alone with his basketballs, shooting constant half-court shots in complete silence. Akashi was nowhere to be found.

Noticing your presence, Midorima turns around irritated, ready to berate the offender who interrupted his practice before he registers that it was just you. He sighs and puts the basketballs back into their storage basket before he gives you his full attention.

“I’m assuming you are here for Akashi,” he says, pushing up his glasses that had been slowly sliding down his nose from the sweat.

“Yeah—”

“He’s not here, nanodayo. He already left a while ago. I’ve been given charge of locking up the gym for the night.”

“Is… that so?” you said, scratching the back of your neck. “Well… I guess it can’t be helped, right? So, aha… I’ll see you tomorrow practice then?” Midorima only gives you a firm nod before he turns around to start mopping up the gym floors. Not wanting to partake in the awkward, distant silence between the two of you, you promptly left the gym, taking extra care to close the doors quietly to not disturb the greenhead inside.

That was… odd, to say the least. Akashi has always waited for you to walk you home together. It wasn’t that he had to, but he’s always insisted on walking you out of concern for your safety and gently teasing you that he wanted to spend a little more time with you. It was simply a small custom you two shared over the year you were together. Even if he couldn’t make it, he would always let you know beforehand either personally or through calls and texts.

Your heart feels unbelievably heavy and you’re not quite sure why.

———

During times like these were when you really hated the fact that Akashi was in a different class than you. Your mind constantly drifts back to last night when you dialed him a few times to have a casual talk with him but received nothing but empty buzzes on his end. Figuring he was very busy, you decided to just go about your own schedules and send him a small text to him before you went to bed.

Seiji, I hope you’re not over-exerting yourself. I have many things to talk to you about, and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Goodnight!

But that morning, you checked your phone to find that there wasn’t a single notification from him. Opening the messages, you blankly stared at “Seen.” underneath your last text. And it hurt.

Even now, you still feel that you’re overreacting and jumping to conclusions way too fast over something so trivial. But he’s always made a point to communicate with each other, and if he was too tired or if he wanted to be left alone, he would’ve told you clearly. You have no one to confide in about your turmoil; you weren’t very close with the other “Generation of Miracles” and no one else knows Akashi better than them. It wasn’t a huge deal at all, yet why do you feel so afraid of what’s to come?

Your heart feels unbelievably heavy and you’re denying the possible reasons why.

“(y/n)-cchi?” Kise noticed you walking to no particular destination. “What are you doing here?” When you tell him that you’re looking for Akashi, Kise gives a strained smile as he pats your head in an almost consoling manner. “Haven’t seen the captain since practice two days ago.”

“Two days ago? Kise, did you forget there was practice yesterday?”

“Had a photoshoot, couldn’t make it,” he shrugs. “Besides, it’s not like I’m gonna be punished if I choose to ditch anyways.”

“Ditch?”

“Yep~ as long as we win our games, he doesn’t have a problem.”

“That… can’t be right.”

“Who knows what he’s thinking?” he sighs. “Geez, but he can really be scary, I don’t know how you’re dating him.” Kise turns to the vending machine behind him to slot in two coins for a soda. “Do you want one too?”

“Um, it’s okay,” you said, more fixated on his previous words. “Seijuro isn’t scary… he isn’t like that.” Kise turns around to face you again with a can in his hand, and he sighs before he tousles his own hair.

“I guess you know him better than I do, so maybe he was just having a bad day,” he says. “If you’re still looking for him try one of the empty classrooms, I’m sure he’s off playing some shogi by himself or with Midorimacchi.”

So here you are, scouring the hallways for all the empty rooms on all the floors, trying to find the redhead. When you find Midorima walking towards your direction in the hallway instead, you briskly walk to him to intercept his path.

“Sorry to bother you, Midorima-san,” you hurriedly say. “I know it’s been annoying to hear this but…” You pause, and Midorima instantly knew what you were going to inquire about.

“He’s down the hall to your left. Take the stairs and go straight ahead.” When you thank him profusely and start to head off, Midorima is still watching you from where he was standing.

“(y/n)-san.” At the call of your name, you stop to turn back to face Midorima from the end of the hallway. “Your sign is at the lowest of the luck rankings according to the Oha Asa today. Your lucky item is a dictionary, but I can only advise you to be careful.” You only answer him with an exasperated smile at his antics before you continue on your way.

As you rush to the room Midorima described about, you think of how you are going to confront Akashi. Were you going to chastise him for yesterday? Give him the biggest hug? Pout at him about how you miss him? Ask about his day? You shake your head and decide to just focus on looking for him first before anything else.

You wonder why he was here in the secluded part of the building. Did he often come here prior to today? You take a deep breath and sigh in relief in seeing your boyfriend through the door.

Smiling, you let yourself in before closing the door wordlessly.

“Seiji—”

“I’ve been expecting you, (y/n).” You freeze at the sheer coldness of his voice. There he was, back to you as he languidly sat on a chair with a knee propped up. He continues to clink his shogi pieces around the board as if your presence didn’t warrant his full attention. But there was no mistaking that it was, in fact, Akashi. Only he would have his uniform blazer so free of wrinkles and stains.

“Seiji… what’s wrong?” You approach him worryingly, extending your hand to him as you walk closer. But as you reach within hand’s grasp, your gut is screaming for you to stop and turn back, to run far, far away and never look back. You ignore your body. You know you’re just being overly antsy and jumpy from recent overthinking. “You were nowhere to be found at all yesterday, and I just… was so worried—and you didn’t even reply to me at all!”

“Those things are unnecessary. The only thing that matters is victory. Surely you know this, (y/n)?” Your hand freezes and drops to your side. He drops his propped leg from his chair before he turns his head to the side to eye your shocked expression. “Why do you look at me as such?”

“Seijuro,” you whisper. “What’s… what’s gotten into you? What happened at practice that day? Everyone’s been acting weird, and I don’t know why!...”

He moves his gaze back to his shogi pieces and starts toying with the wooden chips. “That day was when I realized that I was absolutely naive and foolish. Order and absoluteness cannot be contested and questioned. The winners can never be denied… That has always been the policy of Teiko’s basketball team. I have realized that in order to accommodate this, I must become absolute and ensure that this team will continue to contribute to its legacy. I am certain the others must have come to this conclusion as well.”

“Seriously, Seijuro,” you plead. “Talk to me, if there’s something troubling you, from basketball to your personal life, I’ll be there for you… so please… please don’t be so cold to me.”

“Me? Akashi Seijuro troubled by such trivial matters? Your assumptions are arrogant but amusing nonetheless.” Akashi stands up from his chair, leaving his shogi pieces unattended on the desk. He slowly strolls to you, his eyes boring holes through you from the unnerving intensity they exuded. You slowly back up instinctively, until your back hits the door. Akashi stops to stand a few feet in front of you, but his eye contact continues to be relentless in intensity. “Though, I must admit, there is one thing I’ve been pondering about, so you are correct that I do have something in mind.”

“W-what is it?...” You don’t know what else to say. What do you say to a stranger who has the physical appearance of your boyfriend? Can someone change that much in just a single day? This Akashi Seijuro… was now only the empty shell of the Seijuro you knew and loved for some time.

“It seems that in my naivete, I had decided to date someone like you, but I wondered what would happen if I told you about all these inevitable changes I will bring to ensure absoluteness. I wonder if you’re even essential in helping future victories come to fruition.”

“What are you trying to say?...” you say, your voice slightly peaking at the end. You wring your hands together in anxiousness as you try to hold back volatile emotions from becoming apparent on your face. Akashi continues to observe you with an impassive poker face. “I don’t… I don’t understand!... I’m the ‘trouble’ that’s on your mind?...”

Your heart feels unbelievably heavy and you’re afraid of the possible reasons why.

“Seijuro,” you start sniffling, cursing your emotional dams for cracking so easily. “You’re always like this, shouldering all the burdens of being president, captain, and top student… you always told me not to worry, yet you always insist on helping me out… could you just… stop pretending you’re okay, cause I know you’re not!?” You end your sentence in a frustrated shout, cheeks feeling hotter as you feel more tears sliding down.

Akashi flinches at your words and parts his mouth in mild surprise, but soon enough, he returns to his composed self, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

“It is clear that we are both at an impasse. You do not agree with me, and that is fine. However, you are not necessary in what I need to achieve anyways. Keeping you around will only hold me back.”

“N-no… are you saying that…”

“From now on, we are strangers, (y/n). This is a farewell.”

“S-Seijuro, wait! You can’t just decide for the both of us like that!” You step forward and try to reach for him in desperation, but before you can react, Akashi slaps your hand away and stares down at your pitiful state.

“Do not touch me so casually,” he coldly says. “And do not address me like that ever again. Know your place.” With that, he holds his head high as he promptly exits the room without sparing you a glance, leaving you and his shogi set behind.

“S-S-eiji…” you softly wail. You sink your body into a squat as you struggle to hold back unadulterated tears with your arms. “Wh-why? Why? Why, why, why?...” Every moment, every memory you shared with Akashi within the past year was nullified in just a span of a few minutes. Your life feels shattered right before your eyes as you can feel its fragments slipping through your fingers still, and it hurts. It hurts so badly, and you don’t know how you can face the Generation of Miracles from this point on without breaking into sobs. They all reminded you of him too much. But you knew that if you avoided them, they wouldn’t care too much; after all, you only knew them through Akashi. Now that your connection to him was severed, there was truly no reason to speak with them anymore.

You sniffle and stand up after several more minutes of quiet agony, and you look over to the desk where Akashi’s shogi pieces are. You bite your lip, trying to stop the fresh tears from coming. You give a shuddering exhale before you stretch out your hand, hesitating before you gingerly pluck a piece off the shogi board. If you couldn’t salvage the broken pieces from your relationship, perhaps this piece can be a substitute for all those fragments. Thumbing through the woodwork, you can still feel the remnants of his warmth moments before. At least this way, you still have a piece of him with you, even if you know you can no longer be by his side anymore, much less talk to him.

You debate with yourself to try to confide about this with someone from the Generation of Miracles, but as your eyes spot them, you can’t help but notice the cold and distant gazes they embody, and it only reminds you of what Akashi has become. For the rest of your Teiko years, you dutifully avoid having as many interactions as you can with them, especially when Kuroko inquires about your relationship with Akashi on a few occasions.

The next time you would see Akashi in close proximity is when you decide to come to watch the Winter Cup finals with a classmate friend, who insists you to come watch once they hear that you used to attend Teiko.

When you lay eyes on him again, your heart feels unbelievably heavy once again, even more so with Akashi’s shogi piece sitting in the pocket of your uniform button-up shirt.

[into1-wonderland]

Baby!Into1 x Daycare au | Intro

(ft. Bo Yuan as the caretaker of the 10 chaotic bunch, ranging from the ages of 3-5)

a/n: hello hello yumi here~ so this is the first into1 au of mine that will ever see the light of day. at first I was going to write things for it, but honestly I'm going to make it into a series with incorrect quotes to attach with it. this post will be the bios of all the babies and our lovely caretaker Bo Yuan, so enough of me babbling and I hope you guys could enjoy~

First off, we have the Caretaker™ Bo Yuan:

my mans is like in his 20's rn

wanted to open up a little day care as like side job/internship because he wanted to teach kids in the future so he was like “might as well start working with kids now!”

and so

he did it

only regretted his life decisions when his devil number 1 and devil number 2 does something bad

other times he really enjoy looking after them! and he doesn’t even feel like it’s a job!

has been thinking about taking a field trip with all 10 of them but he’s afraid: 1) he might lose one 2) he might lose himself 3) can they behave themselves

his favorite thing to do is having all of them gather around while reading a fairytale to them for nap time

or sometimes he would sing a song

he has a lot of favorite things in day care, literally having all 10 of them just there makes him happy

except when lin mo and nine is having a scream off:

lin mo: ahh

nine: aHH

lin mo: AHH

nine: AHHHHH-

bo yuan, running into the room: what’s wrong?

ak: screaming

bo yuan: why?

patrick, with his hands over his ears: TO SEE WHOS LOUDER

all the other boys: *nods*

isnt always watching the kids 24/7, since day 1 when the kids came in he told them the rules of the daycare and kinda just let them familiarize the place

(bo yuan: its a daycare, and they are kids, they are suppose to have fun!

keyu, in the back, mumbles: i wanna climb the tree in the yard

bo yuan, turns around: keyu no)

///////////

And now we have the kids!!

Liu Yu:

4 years old

very quiet, just likes to sit and read and draw

the most obedient one, and likes to follow around bo yuan

well,, most of the time

he’s played a few pranks on bo yuan like:

bo yuan: liu yu nap time is over you have to wake up

liu yu: *not moving*

bo yuan, gently nudged liu yu: liu yu wake up!

liu yu: *continues to fake sleep and not move*

bo yuan: *leans closer to liu yu’s face to make sure hes not sick or has a fever*

liu yu, scares bo yuan: WAH

bo yuan: liu yu dont do that! you scared me!

liu yu: *giggles*

likes to stretch and bend himself in odd positions

(bo yuan: everyday I’m in fear that he will snap himself in half)

kinda an introvert but once he hangs around everyone for a bit he will open up to them and fit himself in very well

likes to organize and keep things how he found them/have special places where he organizes his toys

jiayuan: *moves liu yu’s fan*

liu yu: hey! put that back!!

has really good etiquettes and never really fights or argues or bicker with the other kids

but likes to joke around and mess around with once in a while

patrick: wahhh i put my cupcakes here who took one!

liu yu, hiding it behind his back: idk maybe keyu took it?

the least of bo yuan’s worries since he’s always in bo yuan’s sight, also he’s aware of his surroundings so he actually helps bo yuan make sure everything’s okay

(bo yuan: i made a checklist for myself on the whiteboard and liu yu likes to check things off for me, he said “coloring in the boxes is fun” so now he's the reason why i get all my work done)

-----------

Santa:

4 years old

riki’s best friend

super happy and bright, like a ray of sunshine

is easily scared

lin mo: hi

santa: WAHHHHH BO YUAN GEGE

really likes bo yuan, would stick on to him a lot and ask him about everything

santa: bo yuan gege whats this?

santa: bo yuan gege what’s that?

santa: bo yuan gege what are you making right now?

hangs out with liu yu and mika a lot (other than riki)

riki is older than him but would hold riki’s hand and take him around like a didi

also really likes racing with mika for E V E R Y T H I N G

(bo yuan: yeah couple days ago they tried to race who can fall asleep faster but because they kept on peeking at each other so they basically didn’t sleep till i said i’ll watch for them)

really likes to dance, every time he hears music he would start grooving around

loves learning new things, which is probably the reason why he always asks bo yuan so many questions

also least one of bo yuan’s worries, just gotta make sure jiayuan and lin mo don’t pull pranks on him

(bo yuan: well they dont really pull prank pranks, its just once lin mo grabbed a frog and started running around and showing it to everyone, but lin mo lost grip and the frog jumped on santa)

-----------

Rikimaru:

5 years old

looks like he’s 3, acts like he’s 3, but is actually 5

best friends with santa! always sticks around him and likes to tug on a corner of his shirt out of habit

bo yuan: alright everyone it’s nap time! i’ve made the beds for everyone

riki, sees his bed is not next to santa: bo yuan gege can you switch my bed next to santa? i wanna be next to santa

he didn’t start speaking till he was 4 so he often stutters when he talk and just looks confused a lot (it's because he’s thinking and formulating his words)

santa and the other kids would always have to interpret for him

bo yuan: riki I brought some snacks today do you want cookies or marshmallows?

riki: ???

santa, motioning with his hands: bo yuan gege said do you want the white fluffies or brown crunchies

riki: oh! crunchies!

squishy cheeks,, bo yuan’s favorite thing is to squish his cheek everytime he sees him

riki: gud mooning bo yuan gege!

bo yuan, squishes riki’s cheeks: ahh I haven’t seen you in so long good morning!!

nine: wait wasnt riki here yesterday??

also likes to stretch,, often seen around with liu yu and they just help each other

(bo yuan: i am afraid he will snap himself in half too)

not too much of bo yuan’s worries, besides the fact that he might get kidnapped because he’s so oblivious

(bo yuan: we were playing outside in the yard once and riki just wandered off because he thought the neighbor’s flowers were pretty)

-----------

Mika:

4 years old

also kinda an introvert, doesn’t interact with too many people

usually it’s santa that approaches him first or keyu^^

found a ukulele in the toy bin one time and wouldn’t let go of it (he claims it’s his now)

his favorite activity at daycare is when they all sing together, that’s when he smiles the most and has the most fun

the one that likes to nap the most

also likes to help bo yuan cook once in a while (mostly just having mika washing vegetables and passing things to bo yuan)

very laid back and not noisy (till he starts playing the ukulele)

often gets scared by lin mo’s sudden screams (actually, lin mo scares a lot of people, sorry to mika’s ears)

also not one of bo yuan’s worries, literally there’s nothing to worry about with mika, all the kids just likes to sit around mika and pet his head so he keeps everyone safe

(bo yuan: one time I couldn’t find any of the kids in the play room, apparently they were all in the napping corner petting mika’s head since he just got a hair cut)

-----------

Nine:

4 years old

loud, very loud.

pouts a lot

everyone calls nine cute, even the boys who are younger than him

likes to boss around patrick because he’s older

nine: patrick gimme that juice box!

patrick: you’re closer you get it!

nine: i’m older than you!

literally scared of everything

if he hasn’t seen it before and it’s living, he’s scared

jiayuan: *holds a bowl of tadpoles*

nine, several feet away: WAHHH WHAT IS THAT

the happiest when he gets snacks + real food food

also really likes to sing!! his favorite thing is watching disney movies because there’s so much music in it and he just loves to sing along

he’s not part of bo yuan’s worries because he’s literally scared of everything, but nine is really naive and would do things that the other kids tell him to do so, it’s a 50/50 on nine

(bo yuan: there was an edible decorative flower on keyu’s birthday cake couple days ago, and somehow jiayuan convinced nine all flowers were edible. so today during outside time nine almost ate the neighbor’s flowers)

-----------

Lin Mo:

3 years old

LOUD. VERY LOUD.

probably the craziest most hyper one out of them all

he and jiayuan always have something bad planned

literally doesn’t have a moment where he’s calm

constantly in bickering mode with ak

lin mo: NO IM RIGHT

ak: NO. IM RIGHT

patrick: what are they arguing about?

keyu: *shrugs*

but is also best friends with ak so he’s also calm around him

(bo yuan: yeah these two have on and off days, you can never predict it)

and also constantly naruto runs around the daycare

bo yuan: lin mo stop running!

lin mo: *nyoom*

he also once nyoomed into keyu

keyu: ow what was that for?

lin mo: you were in my way!

and now he nyooms into keyu for fun

a very good mood maker

likes to smile/laugh a lot

would calm down if you show him a movie or a cartoon

number 2 on bo yuan’s worry list because he’s the "bad influence" for everyone, also he reduces hearing for everyone

(bo yuan: i’ve secretly made a tally book on how many times i have to say “lin mo” in a concerning tone this week and he came in 2nd. he was only here for like 3 days!)

-----------

Zhang Jiayuan:

3 years old

YOURE THREE STOP SMIRKING LIKE THAT

couple months younger than lin mo but this is the real culprit under a lot of his and lin mo‘s plans

it’s just because jiayuan has a lot of crazy ideas and he says them out loud and lin mo is just like “yes”

also sometimes they are just accidents, but he's always doing weird questionable things with lin mo

got really sad one time because he brought tadpoles and put them in the fish tank and killed them since the fish went nom

but then started to constantly catch for tadpoles to feed the fishes

bo yuan: jiayuan stop, you’re killing the frog population!

jiayuan: but the fishies are hungry *pouts*

likes to fight/mess around with keyu for no reason

keyu: *sitting there, drawing*

jiayuan, with a squishy hammer: *bops keyu’s head*

but also will protect keyu if anyone tries to mess with him

lin mo: *nyooms into keyu for the 3rd time of the day* jiayuan, hugs keyu: stop hurting him!

the calmest thing he likes to do is taking care of plants, probably because he saw bo yuan spraying the plants one time and he like to squeeze the spray bottle

number 1 on bo yuan’s worry list, this child is literally not safe alone or with anyone. they were trying to celebrate keyu’s birthday and jiayuan tried to touch the candles, while it was lit, by the flame.

(bo yuan: i just got the tablets and haven’t set up children mode, so i’ll take the blame for this one. but also why are kids so good with technologies nowadays??)

-----------

Patrick:

3 years old

squishy :D

smiley :DD

favorite thing is nap time and snack time

somehow knows every location where bo yuan hides their snacks

bo yuan: *getting the snacks that he hid in the piano*

patrick: *sitting next to the window sill with the snack* hi~

of course bo yuan can never get mad at patrick for eating the snacks because patrick doesn’t do anything bad

also he's a growing child

best friends with keyu,, and drags him on to “adventures”

*the daycare got a new toy play house*

patrick: bo yuan gege, keyu and I are moving out so we can go on an adventure!

keyu: I didnt agree to this??

wants bo yuan to add dress up into the daycare games, since he wants to dress up the other boys in the daycare

patrick: i call it, patrick fashion!

not part of bo yuan’s worries till he’s on his hunt for the hidden snacks, just because bo yuan is afraid he might hurt himself

(bo yuan: i started hiding the snacks higher up and one time i saw him trying to climb on keyu’s shoulders to grab it)

-----------

Zhou Keyu:

3 years old

smart, but really clueless at the same time

tall, but has the personality of smol

likes to draw

also likes to read with patrick,, but usually patrick falls asleep so it’s him, the book, and a sleeping patrick

wears glasses all the time since his vision isn’t so good but somehow he makes glasses look good on him???

has a chain with his glasses because there too many glasses incident with keyu

glasses #1 keyu: I don’t like them! *takes it off and loses it*

glasses #2 keyu: *takes them off for nap time, but riki accidentally rolled on to them and snapped it*

glasses # we don’t know how many: *disconnected from the keyu universe*

also like a month younger than lin mo but literally has to make sure lin mo doesnt “blow” the place up

lin mo: what if I stuck this fork into the pluggie thing?

keyu, picking lin mo up: nope you’re not

when keyu is clueless he either stands there or just sit there and space out, not really noticeable but bo yuan ran into him doing that a couple times

(bo yuan: I thought he was an ai that was malfunctioning, it scared me at first but now I know he just doesn’t remember what he’s doing)

oh did I mention this,, even though he’s one of the youngest, he’s the tallest, with that advantage he likes to try to pick people up

jiayuan: keyu pick me up!

keyu: no

patrick: keyu likes me more he will pick me up!

keyu: no

patrick: *pouts*

keyu: *tries to pick both jiayuan and patrick up at the same time*

bo yuan, running over: ZHOU KEYU PUT THEM DOWN YOULL BREAK YOURSELF

not too high up on bo yuan’s worry list, give him a piece of paper or book or anything he would just calmly sit there and do something with it

(bo yuan: every time when we do art or reading its so hard to pry keyu away, he has to finish what he was doing and he’s so concentrated he doesn’t hear anybody)

-----------

Liu Zhang (AK):

4 years old

loud, VERY LOUD.

he doesn’t know he’s loud

bo yuan: ak you don’t have to yell

ak: OKAY

monopolized over all the instrument music type of toys in the daycare

bo yuan: ak you know you have to share your toys right?

ak: I gave the ukulele to mika

honestly having ak is like having a walking megaphone so bo yuan ended up actually making ak his little helper for announcements

bo yuan: ak go tell everyone is lunch time

ak: alright!

ak: *da da da running to fetch his little stool*

ak, stands on a little stool in the middle of the play room: ITS LUNCH TIMEEEEEE-

nine, swats ak’s leg: YOU SCARED ME

the only time ak is quiet is when he’s around lin mo, he kinda just likes to watch lin mo and follow him around so that’s that

unless lin mo starts messing with him, then you just lose your hearing for the day

also at first bo yuan was trying to see what ak is interested in, and he taught ak hot cross buns on the bells and thought that would calm ak down,, but oops ak ended up making more noises

patrick: I WANNA SLEEP AK

(bo yuan: I swear something happened to this kid or something. he’s not hard of hearing but he’s just naturally so loud)

i too would lose my hearing if im around ak so much

not to high on bo yuan’s worries but he just make sure ak isn’t being too loud and bothering the other kids, usually he’s pretty good about that but you never know when a little patrick will start napping or anyone really so gotta contain his energy

(bo yuan: ak is usually the first one that’s awake from nap time but its usually like 5-10min before everyone else so i told him he can go and play but he just has to be quiet)

///////////

alrighty !! now you've met everyone in the daycare, what kind of fun and chaotic adventures are they going to have??

(all future daycare au things will be incorrect quotes + short little one shots, this intro mostly served as a bio so you understand their personalities a bit, and i hope you enjoyed it!)

[yikeswtfmate]

I’ll hold you to that

Summary: There’s a new message from a stranger in her DMs, but what does he want from her and why exactly is he so freaking cute?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (College AU)

Warnings: swearing; that should be it, I think?

A/N: This is the second fic in two days, who even am I? What am I even doing? What is happening?! My only excuse is that I’ve started this like 2 months ago and only now got round to finishing it so...enjoy?

This might need a second part though, I feel like I need some college dorkiness in my life rn

Also, do some text and ig messages count as making this a social media au? Probably not, since I was too lazy to do that format with the apps and all that?

masterlist // Watermelon Sugar - another part

Natasha is lying on her friend’s bed, furiously typing away at her phone. The chime of incoming messages is constant and it is starting to drive Y/N up the wall.

“You could do this in your room as well, you know.” Turning in her desk chair, ready to start going off on the redhead, Y/N is cut short by a long suffering sigh. “What’s wrong now?” She knows that if she ignores Nat now, she would only get more annoying, which in turn would leave her no chance of finishing studying for the night.

“I’m talking with the people in my group, trying to prepare for the mock trial next month and there’s this guy who is completely infuriating!” Nat spats and lets out another groan, as her fingers fly across the screen. “He says that we should stop defending the CFO and try and get a settlement because it’s obvious he actually did indeed commit fraud. How are we supposed to make a case and win when he’s completely disregarding everything we’ve studied this semester? Of course the prick committed fraud, but we still have to make the case for him, this is the fucking assignment, you pompous asshole.”

“Yeah, babe, I have no idea what you’re saying there, but go you! Down with Wall Street or whatever, but I still need to study for this management exam, so it would be great if you could kindly fuck off to your room?” Y/N smiles at Nat, who finally looks up at her and sighs.

“Fine. I’ll let you study for your stupid exam, but you still need to reply to that cute guy like you promised.”

“Remind me again, why am I supposed to do that?”

“Because you promised, you ass! And your sex life is shit so Wands and I reckon if you get laid, you’ll stop being so stuck up about school.” It’s Nat’s turn to smile sweetly at Y/N, who throws a pen at her retreating form.

“Why are you guys like this?!”

“We both have unresolved daddy issues, now get on with it or I’ll send Wanda in here.”

Y/N sighs heavily and slumps in her chair. She glances at her charging phone on the desk and tentatively picks it up. She unlocks it, a picture of her and her roommates popping up on the screen and the notification is still there. Still taunting her, still adding fuel to her friends’ pestering.

They have looked through his page, of course. They have looked at all the pictures with his friends, some of them recognisable from the halls of college, all the pictures of him in various cafes, restaurants, bars, gyms, but the picture she still comes back to is the one with him at the beach. Wayfarers perched on the bridge of his nose, ruffled hair in the wind, and that tan that stretches from the set shoulders to the prominent six pack (although the bottle of beer in his hand makes those abs so unfair to believe exist) to the firm thighs. She has looked through all of his pictures, analysing every detail and description, still wondering how in the hell she managed to catch his attention enough to grant her a message from him. And then she would go on her profile, filled with pictures from the dance studio, her coffee filled all-nighters in the library, and fair enough, there is that picture of her at the pool where her bum looks just right and she could get why in a sense, but what the hell, look at that guy!

Her fingers still hover over the notification indecisively, when the group chat pops up on her screen.

Wands: do it, bitch

Y/N: I was just getting myself ready!!!!

Wands: u’re a clown

Wands: JUST DO IT

Y/N: why must you attack me like this

Nat: I’m interrupting my fight with that idiot to send you this very important message

Nat: do it, bitch

Y/N: I hate you both

Y/N finally taps on the notification and there - in all its glory there is one simple message that has been giving her a headache since the previous night. Granted, she was a bit drunk on wine, and the shriek she let out when she saw the blinking notification made her toss her phone to the other side of the couch. Wanda picked it up and looked at it confused, while Natasha slumped on the couch in order to see over her shoulder. They both whistled at the same time, which was disturbing in and of itself, thinking how alike all of their mannerisms have become since they became roommates two years prior.

She takes a big breath that does nothing to relieve her nerves, and biting her lip, she finally opens the app to her messages.

JamesBBarnes: Hey

Huh. Funny how such a little greeting makes her tap her leg unconsciously to the point that their downstairs neighbours will be complaining at their door soon. She closes her eyes for a second, shakes her head and mutters a 'what the hell.'

Y/Nwhatthehell: Hi

Now that this obstacle is over, Y/N idly wonders what made her so flustered. He's just a guy who happened to send her a message after following her on Instagram. There's nothing weird about it, is it? They're both attending the same university, she's fairly sure one of his friends is actually the guy Natasha is currently fighting with on that project of theirs. Maybe he just wants to be friendly, maybe he needs some management information for one of his mock trials. Who even knows, so what is she so stressed about? With a huff, she throws her phone away, determined to finish the chapter opened in front of her and relax for the rest of the evening.

She's in the middle of writing the last note on employee engagement, when a ping from her bed startles her into dropping her pen. She turns cautiously, as if sudden movements would force Aragog crawling out of the device, but decides she's being stupid again so she stands up and nearly lunges on the sheets.

As confusion is written all over her face after reading the first line in the notifications bar, she opens the app and stares at the screen.

JamesBBarnes: Listen, I know this might sound weird, but could you ask your friend to stop fighting with Steve? I'm trying to study over here and he's been throwing stuff around since yesterday saying something about a redhead girl who's hijacking his trial just bc she wants to prove a point

She doesn't know what she was expecting, but it's definitely not this. Is that disappointment she feels for hyping herself up just so he can ask this type of nonsense of her? Maybe, but maybe she just feels a little silly for having thought this guy would hit on her on Instagram. She sighs and replies to him, now annoyed with herself more than anything.

Y/Nwhatthehell: why didn't you just send her a message?

JamesBBarnes: From what I've heard about this Natasha, you seemed like the more reasonable one

The reply is swift, and makes her smile. Nat can be a bit too much if not handled with care, especially when it comes to group work. However, Y/N now has what seems like a million questions, and she’s even more confused than a few minutes ago.

Y/Nwhatthehell: how did you even find my IG anyway?

JamesBBarnes: oh Steve has a huge crush on Natasha and we were all forced to go through her every single photo and hear about how amazing she is every single day since the beginning of the year

JamesBBarnes: but maybe don't tell her that 

JamesBBarnes: you know what, screw that. You can even show her that msg, the punk will never be man enough to tell her himself, might as well get my revenge for all the days I've been forced to listen to him go on and on abt her

She takes a second to read the messages again, when a howl of laughter bursts out of her chest. She had an inkling this was the case, from the way Steve has suspiciously been assigned to every single group project Nat had since September. And Y/N could bet his feelings weren't unrequited, for all the hissy fits Natasha has been throwing about him lately.

Y/Nwhatthehell: what if i tell you he might get what he wants if i tell her that?

Y/Nwhathehell: would you be able to put up with him when he's in a relationship with her? He's probs gonna be 10x worse

JamesBBarnes: oh shit u're right 

JamesBBarnes: fuck it, might as well get it over with. At least he'll stop moping every time she calls him an idiot 

Y/Nwhatthehell: you make a very compelling case, James. Studying law must have its benefits...you know, like having strong well rounded arguments

JamesBBarnes: my arguments would make more sense if i would be allowed to study ya know 

JamesBBarnes: and it's Bucky 

Y/Nwhatthehell: ?

JamesBBarnes: my friends call me Bucky 

Y/Nwhathehell: so we're friends now, are we?

Y/N can't stop the feeling of giddiness that starts to inflate through her chest. She might not have gotten the flirtatious messages she was expecting, but this seems somehow better. More real.

JamesBBarnes: if we're playing matchmakers for our friends, might as well be, don't you think?

Y/Nwhatthehell: i think i'll need a stronger argument than that in order to help you

JamesBBarnes: tell you what. I'll buy you a coffee and a pizza if you help me with those two 

Y/Nwhatthehell: coffee and pizza? A man after my own heart

She wonders for a second if that comment will freak him out, but hangs her head with a grin that splits her face when she sees his reply.

JamesBBarnes: only for you babe 

Bucky stares at the screen, unable to process what he just sent. He likes this girl, likes how his first impression after seeing her profile hasn't changed after starting to talk to her. He knows how easy it is to lie away your life on social media, and he can admit he's more than excited that she seems as wholesome and funny through text, and not only through pictures. Following her and sending her that message yesterday was his genuine desperation at trying to do something, anything really to make Steve stop, but he didn't expect to actually want to keep talking to her. He really hopes he hasn't messed up anything, when 'Typing...' keeps appearing and disappearing.

Y/Nwhatthehell: i'll hold you to that, babe

[a-wandering-ghoulette]

Ghost: Tobias finally revealed himself! From MyRock n°57; March/April issue; a FR->EN translation.

Enjoy a 2 page exclusiv interview fully translated from french to english; 3 full-page pics by Amanda Demme and a bitter live report of Zénith de Paris ritual (under the cut at the end of the post)! Note that I’m not perfectly bilingual so any of you who have a better english lvl than me are free to correct any mistake I could have done!

Tobias, master of the Forge

(Translation Note: Yes, we are french and we like dumb puns. So yass, he leads this band, thx)

Few hours before his appearance at Zénith de Paris, Tobias Forge has opened his lodge’s door to us. Decontracted and unmasked, the autoproclamed Ghost’s spokesperson frankly discuss about the band news and about his sudden notoriety.

Interview by Thomas Mafrouche; photos by Amanda Demme.

“In the colllective mind, doing metal is wearing black and shouting in a mic. People believe it’s easy when it’s a music requiring a lot of work and precision.” Tobias Forge

The last time we saw you at Zénith de Paris it was for Slayer and Mastodon’s opening. Tonight, you are the headline and your show is full. You must feel very proud! Tobias Forge: Oh I’m fulfilled! It’s fantastic! I’m very happy with what is happening. Not for the success, but because it allows me to finally have the means to do shows of the scope I always wanted. I always wished Ghost to be big, that our concerts dazzle! There’s nothing which annoyed me more than when you look small on a stage. It’s the case during some opening, or festivals prestations, when we have to play during day time... Ghost isn’t a band built for small stages. It’s a full experience, the spectator must imperatively get what’s coming! But, it’s a monstrous organisation, with a lot of logistical problems to solve beforehand. The more people there are involved in this adventure, the more risks there are for the machine to derailed. But, well, it’s the challenge to achieve when you bring a choir of 40 nuns on stage (laugh). In the end, what matter is that the spectator enjoy it, that they spend a good and phenomenous evening with us.

It is said that you are scrupulous about each detail, even the lights. Is that true? T.F.: Yes... I’m a “control freak”, I must admit it. (laughs) But this hunger for perfection, it’s also what brought me here tonight. This thirst for controling everything, it also came from the fact I’ve often been right by the past, but I was often dismissed... I have long tried to fight against this facet and to let people speak. And in these cases, it often narrowly avoided a catastrophe. So now I assume it. It pisses me off to have become a control maniac, but I’m used to it now, because it’s what’s best for Ghost, and thus, for the public...

Influenced by Candlemass & Metallica

To open your concerts for this tour, you have chosen your fellow countrymen from Candlemass. You’re fan, we guess? T.F.: I’ve been listening to them since I’m eight! They are my heroes! Their album Tales of Creation is one of my cult record! A decade ago, I had the chance to meet them and today we became very good friends. We are often seeing each others, our wifes and children are getting along pretty well too. Candlemass, it’s family! Their music had a direct impact on my way to compose. Plus, there’s all the imagery! I’m not talking about costumes, but the typography and the biblical visuals which always had greatly influenced me. I’ll even confess you something: The first album of Ghost, Opus Eponymous, was written for Messiah Marcolin’s voice [2nd singer of Candlemass, Redaction Note]. At the time, I didn’t wanted to be the singer of Ghost. Then I asked him to join us, but he had declined the invitation, saying he was busy with another project. So, when time has come to sing, I did it with his head voice. Last year, musicians from Candlemass also supported me on stage during Polar Music Prize’s ceremony [Swedish equivalent of Victoires de la Musique, but with guitars, RN (T.N: ouch, it’s a nice shot in our national music award ceremony face, since they never reward rock/metal artists... So yeah, national sized Grammy’s ceremony)]. We covered “Enter Sandman” by Metallica, in front of Sweden’s King and Queen. Robert Trujillo an Lars Ulrich were there as well. It’s an unforgatable memory! My wife and I, we even had dinner with one of Sweden’s princesses, after the ceremony.

Would the princess of Sweden be a metalhead?! T.F.: I won’t go this far, no (laughs). But she was very sociable, we even toasted. It was exquisite!

“Now, I will represent Ghost unmasked. Tobias Forge will be the official interlocutor, the same way George Lucas was the unique spokesman of Star Wars.” Tobias Forge

Speaking of Metallica, you’ll open for them at Stade de France, on May 12th. There, as well, it’s consecration! T.F.: It’s crazy! I’m going to tell you a funny anecdote. I’m not passionate about football, but it turns out that I was in Paris in 1998, during the World Cup. I wasn’t at Stade de France, but I saw pictures in the city, on big screens. And, at this moment, when I saw the final, that you amazingly won, I told myself that one day, I will play in Stade de France as well. It took me 21 years, but this day finally has come! this is proof that you have to believe in your dreams!

Metallica, it’s an institution for many people. For you as well? T.F.: There isn’t a superlativ strong enough to say how much I love these guys! Especially since they became friends. It’s an honour to have been chosen to support them on stage. Notably because they’re one of the reasons  which pushed me to do music.

Which is your favorite album? T.F.: Ouch, that’s not easy! From a strictly personnal point of view, I would say Ride the Lightning and Master of Puppets. But from a professional one, as a composer, musician and producer, it’s clearly the Black Album. It’s their best record, the most complete. Reaching this level of perfection, it’s any musician’s dream. Everything is here, the writing is bold, with a lot of character, and the producing is impeccable. I know it’s a record which make polemic amongst purists, but objectively, it’s one of these albums which had contributed to forge the metal we know today. In the colllective mind, doing metal is wearing black and shouting in a mic. People believe it’s easy, when it’s a music requiring a lot of work and precision. The Black Album, it’s the result of a huge amount of work, it’s months and months of work!

Papa Emeritus vs Darth Vader

The Black Album is also the record of notoriety, the one which propulsed Metallica with the general/mainstream public. This exposure, it’s something you’re living since the release of Prequelle. Recently, your appearance in the TV show Quotidien created a conflict amongst fans. To have a guitar solo cut during a live stream, is it the price to pay when a metal band enter the great mediatical circus? T.F.: Of course, it’s a sacrifice to do. Let’s say that, with Ghost, our relations with medias hasn’t always been good. I long refused to play their game. For a long time, these mainstream televisions had asked for interviewing Papa Emeritus. I always opposed them a categorical no. You can’t interview Papa Emeritus, the same way you can’t interview Darth Vader. You can meet James Earl Jones, who borrow him his voice, or the actor David Prowse. But Darth Vader, nobody can speak to him. It’s the same for Papa Emeritus. Today, in order to reach the next level, it’s time to play the game, but in our way. Since I can’t relate on Papa Emeritus to do the job, I accepted to do this interview unmasked. The problem is that journalists hadn’t the necessary keys in hands to understand Ghost. Of course, I’m not talking about you, because rock press know very well what we are and who we are. You tell me about Candlemass, about Metallica... It’s something else. You, you know your subject. Mainstream medias, them, what’s interesting them is to make the buzz, it’s to have a bone to gnaw. Sometimes, I wonder why I accepted to do such mediatical things... It’s not like I needed them, moreover my concerts are full! But, well, I decided that now, I will represent Ghost unmasked. Tobias Forge will be the official interlocutor, the same way George Lucas was the unique spokesman of Star Wars. The person you have in front of you today, it’s kind of Ghost’s director.

Otherwise, what are the future projects for Ghost? T.F.: There will be a release before the end of the year, but it will not be an EP of covers like we often did so far. It will be something else, but it’s not done and I can’t tell you about it yet. But I recorded some things... The rest of the year, I will spend it  on the road, it will be very long, with, notably, dates in South America. I scheduled to go in studio early next year, to realease an album in 2020. You have to strike while the iron is hot!

(Under the cut you’ll find a semi-bitter live report. Take this line as a trigger warning maybe...?)

Tobias Forge at Zénith?

It took 4 albums, 2 EP and a lawsuit before Tobias Forge, Ghost’s mastermind, offer to the french public an indoor show worthy of the name. The rendez vous is written down for early february, at Zénith de Paris.

Live report by: Roseline Artal.

6 000 persons

Concert: 3/5

Public: 3/5

We was told the show in the capital is full of capacity, but some stands are inaccessible and guarded by vigils. It’s certainly to allow everybody to be dazzled that the band decided to not fill  the venue at its maximum capacity, but it’s a shame for those who would have liked to be part of the lucky ones. After a Cigale and an Olympia much comparable to festivals prestations, Ghost decided to put every efforts here. Finally! Candlemass, coming from Sweden, open the ball, remaining on the very front of the stage. Songs flow, some blunders can be heard, notably when the singer Johan Längqvist mix up “A Sorcerer’s Pledge” and “Solitude”, but the crowd seems to appreciate. They rise their fists up in the air when needed, some heads are banging here and there, and we notice a semblance of circle pit down in the front right. However, it’s hard to remain enthusiastic very long in front of the relatively flat performance. Musicians are playing the game and are having fun, which is something at least. 

A cathedral stage It’s almost 9 p.m when lights turn off and the black curtains disappear, reaveling the magnificent stained glasses awning over imposing stairs. Such ornated, the Zénith stage is standing out! It’s with “Ashes”, perfect for an appetizer, Ghost offert themselves to their audience, but it’s “Ritual” which receive all suffrages on this show begining. As for “Devil Church”, it end on a duel between guitarists. When “Miasma” first notes resonnate, one question is on everybody lips: “Will Papa Nihil show himself?”. And the answer is yes, for our greatest pleasure.  “Jigolo Har Megiddo” is beautifully interpreted acoustically, allowing us to rest down our ears for a short time. Indeed, the sound is unbearable, at least without appropriated protections. Fortunatelly, the view isn’t unpleasant, thanks to a Tobias Forge of many personnalities as funny as worrying.

Papa Emeritus as a mafiosi (well, it’s obviously a confusion between Papa and Cardinal from the reporter here, I’ll correct it for the rest of this paragraphe, T.N) It’s well and truly the last album which is highlighted tonight, which is appreciated by fans. They are indeed ready to sing in unison and turn on there phone on “Life Eternal”, while Cardinal Copia play the romantic mafiosi, all in white dressed, thus marking an end to the first act. 15 minutes of break are offered, without a reason being given. Indeed, when the entract ends, the setting hadn’t change and musicians are wearing the same costumes. What if Tobias Forge became the new Axl Rose with his manic to leave the stage for ages with no valid reason? We’re picky, but these minutes could have been used to play other titles, such as the amazing “Elizabeth” which has disapeared from the setlist for years now... Nothing better than “Year Zero” sing by everyone and the cover of Rocky Erikson’s “If You Have Ghost” in order to put us in a good mood. However, the band found a way to ruin it all by dragging the members presentation out for long minutes. What a shame. “Dance Macabre” and “Square Hammer”, which we all keep loving during live, reconcil us with the swedes, then, without surprise, we’re leaving on “Monstrance Clock”, an ode to femal pleasure. When the lights turn back on, we can’t help but thinking this show was both a success and a disappointment notably due to useless dead calm. 

[mookoo-writes]

~Perfect Family~ (EraserMic x Genderfruid! Teen! Reader)

[Part 1?]

Authors Note: This is sort of a comfort fic for myself. I'm closeted genderfluid to my family (except my sister who is super supportive), and let's just say there have been some moments from my parents that I sort of took as a rejection. My friends have also been supportive and so many ways, it actually made me cry. In my life rn, I know my friends (+ sister) are more supportive than my family. I'm probably going to show one of my friends this... so hi friendo and thank you for the support you've given me. ((I don't know if you want your name exposed so I won't say.))

Fandom: My Hero Academia Pairing(s): EraserMic (Eraserhead x Present Mic) x Genderfluid! Teen! Reader (platonic) Warning(s): Rejection, cursing, Aizawa & Hizashi being good dads, platonic reader

-My headcanons that will be in here- *Hizashi being super soft and gentle in serious situations *Trans Aizawa *Aizawa and Hizashi are married *Hizashi has jumped from foster home to foster home *Aizawa was raised in a bad home

~~~~~1st P.O.V~~~~~ "I guess I don't have a daughter anymore"

Just like that, my dad closed the door on me. Tears running down my face as I shakily grasped the three bags lying next to my legs. Glancing at a pile of snow near me, I spotted my binder, wet with holes in it. I grasped the fabric in my hand and proceeded to walk down the street.

I never thought this would happen. I never would have imagined my own parents throwing me out just because of who I actually am. Telling them was a bad decision. Thinking they would be supportive was the worst choice I could make. I should have thought more about how they reacted when I told them I wanted male clothing. I should have seen all the signs.

It was in the middle of December at the dead of night. Probably one of the worst times to be walking back to my dorm in U.A. I pulled my scarf up to my nose, so no one has to see my emotional breakdown about to happen any second now.

I caught glims of the gates leading into U.A. grounds and sighed in relief. When I get to my dorm, I'm planning to curl up in a ball and cry the night away. Good thing everyone left so they don't hear me. They've all gone home for the holidays to their families, something I was originally going to do.

As I walk through the entrance, I could hear footsteps coming from the opposite direction. Not good, not good. Pulling up the fabric wrapped around my neck, I tried to hide my face as much as possible.

"My favorite listener! Why are you out this late and not with your family?" That is the voice of Present Mic. Completely ignoring his question, I waved and kept walking.

Mic wasn't an idiot. He knew something was wrong by the way your eyes were red and puffy, and he wanted to know.

"Hey now, what's up?" Concern laced over his voice as he now stood behind me. I stopped in my tracks, my head still down. "I-i'm fine." My voice was shaky like I was ready to burst into tears. Well... I was. I could feel a hand on my shoulder turn me around. I came face to face with one of my favorite teachers. Mic bent down to my hight and spoke, "I've been doing this hero thing for a while to know that you are not 'fine'." I played with the sleeves of my coat as he waits for me to answer.

"I just..." I started, trying to find the right words. "I just told my parents something I probably shouldn't of." I didn't look up at his saddened eyes as I shuffled my feet.

"Is it because of your gender?"

You froze. How did he know? Have I been that obvious? "How did-" Tears welled up in your eyes again. Mic opened his arms wide with a sad smile on his face. I quickly ran into his arms and hugged tightly as I sobbed into his shoulder.

"Don't listen to what they say. You can be whatever you want to be. You're valid." Hearing those words come out of his mouth made me cry harder.

I could feel myself being lifted in the air, wind blowing past my face. I clutched the binder tightly as I felt like I was moving. "Hey, I have an idea," Mic said softly yet excitedly. I hummed, looking around to see he was heading to the dorm buildings. "Why don't we stop at a 24/7 open store, get some ice cream, and head to my place. I don't want to leave you alone after this, and I especially don't want you to be alone on Christmas." I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my coat and looked at Mic. "Are... are you sure. I don't want to bother you and  Mr. Aizawa on your break."

Mic pushed open the door to the dorm building and began to walk up the stairs. "I'm positive. What room?" "8 and... thank you." The teacher smiled widely as he stopped at my door. He gently set me down on the ground so I could unlock the door.

Opening the door leading into my room, I placed my bags on the ground and emptied one of them. "So, how long do you want me to stay? Tonight? The next two days?" Mic pocked his head in as he didn't want to be disrespectful to come into my room. "I was thinking the whole two weeks if you're comfortable with that, that is." I stopped in my tracks as I listened to his words. A whole two weeks? "Are you-" "Yes I'm sure" Mic cut me off with a laugh. "And I'm sure Shouta wouldn't mind too. You are his favorite student, even if he won't admit it."

I mean, it would be better than staying alone. I thought about it for a moment, before nodding with a weak smile.

As I packed everything I needed, I explained Mic the event that took place half an hour ago. When I finished, I walked out of my room and locked the door before turning around to meet Mic. He was leaning on the wall while whistling a toon. I smiled and trotted over to him, giving him a thumbs up. "I'm guessing your ready listener?" I gave a small nod as we headed our way out.

~~~~~Time Skip~~~~~ Mic and I walked into a condo-like apartment that was located on the very top of the building. It looked like something from a movie. Records on the wall, fancy fireplace, expensive looking speakers, etc. To be honest, I wouldn't expect anything less from Present Mic.

Earlier before we walked out of the elevator, Mic warned me to be quiet.  Aizawa gets pretty angry when he wakes him up.

Right after Mic closed the door, there was a voice. "It's about time your home. You were out later than... Y/n?" I slowly turn around to find Aizawa standing there with a pair of pink sweat pants on. His cold stair piercing into my soul like daggers. I shakily raised my hand and waved "It's nice to see you, Mr. Aizawa." Mic turned around and took off his shoes.

"Shouta! I didn't expect you to be up!" I followed Mic's action and slipped my own shoes off. "Hizashi, can I talk to you for a minute." Aizawa's stare hasn't left me. I fidgeted with the strap that was slung on my shoulders. "Sure. The guest bedroom is down the hall to the right." Mic ruffled my hair and sent me off to find the room I'll be staying at.

As I looked around, I could hear them speak.

"Why are they here and not with their family?"

"Because I saw them walking onto U.A. grounds as I was leaving, holding a wet binder and carrying more bags than they left with"

"What does that have to do with anything."

"That has to do with a lot, Shouta. Their family threw them out of the house and left them on the streets."

"Still. It's inappropriate to bring a student to a teacher's home."

"Shouta-"

"It was unprofessional of you. You can't invite every student in."

"Shouta-"

"I'm going to talk to them and tell-"

"Aizawa Shouta!"

There was a pause for a moment before Mic spoke again.

"Listen to me. They got thrown to the curb because they are genderfluid."

Another moment of silence passed.

"I know we both didn't have the best homes. Hell, I didn't even have a place to call home. But do you know what kept us going? Each other. By the looks of what I've seen, Y/n doesn't have anybody. They always sit in the back alone. Not talking to anyone or opening up. They opened up to the people they trusted the most and look where they are. We need to be people they trust. We need to be there support."

There were some shuffling and bags being placed down. "Y/n reminded me of you. They gave the same face you made when you were called the wrong gender. You know what it felt like." I could hear a sigh come from Aizawa.

I was going to walk closer, but the floorboard creaked underneath my foot. A small groan escaped my mouth. I should probably just stay in the guest room until one of them call me for something.

As I walked into the guest bedroom, I spotted a mountain of black fur laying on the bed. Carefully setting my bags down, I gently stepped towards the creature. As I did so, their head popped up and looked at me with their yellow eyes. The cat stretched its limbs and plopped back down on the sheets. A small smile came across my face. After letting the black cat smell my hand, I gently pet their head. Hearing a purr of satisfaction, I decided to lay on the bed next to the cat. "Hey, cutie." They made a soft mew sound as they curled up next to my side.

I lay like that for a little bit until there was a knock at my door. I look up to see Mic standing in the doorway, except his hair was in a bun and wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt with a band logo printed on it. "How's about we watch a movie and eat that ice cream we promised you." He asked while leaning on the doorframe. "Sounds good."

The next hour and a half was filled with comments about the movie or just conversing and completely ignoring it. Eventually, the movie ended and the ice cream was devoured. Mic had gone to bed but I couldn't sleep. Not with all that's happened today.

I rummaged through my bag and pulled out the torn and beaten binder along with some needle and thread. I walked back to my bed and began patching up the holes. Just looking at the peace of cloth made my eyes water, reminding me of the event that took place a few hours ago. I figured some music would help, so I put on my upbeat playlist on low volume.

As I was struggling to sow back the pieced, the door to the room opened. "Why are you still up." I jumped at the sudden presence and quickly looked up. Aizawa was standing their, hands in his pink pockets. "I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"

Without saying anything, he walked towards me and took the binder out of my hands. He held it up to see all the holes and messy stitchings. "What happened to this?" he asked, completely ignoring your question. "Oh, that? It's just a cheap, old binder." I nervously laughed while rubbing my forearm. "My 'dad' may have torn it a little, too. " Sadness covered over my voice. "This won't do..." Aizawa walked out of the room, the old binder still in his hands.

He returned shortly after, handing me a nice black binder. "Try this on." He closed the door before I could ask any questions.

I slipped the binder on and spun around. This one compresses my chest better than that old rag of a binder. Throwing back on my shirt, I opened the door to let Aizawa in. "How does it feel?" He asked. "Perfect. It's so much better than the one I had!" Aizawa nodded. "Put your arms up and cough." I looked at him questionably but did as he said. "No pains?" I shook my head. "Good. That's a way to know if a binder actually fits." I nodded with a smile. A smile ghosted over Aizawas lips before walking out the room.

"Can I ask you a question?" The tired man stopped in his tracks, glancing at me. "Why did you have a binder?" Aizawa sighed before turning around to face me. "That used to be mine." I thought about it for a moment before the lightbulb in my head clicked.

"Your transgender?" Aizawa nodded. I could see no emotions on his face before he turned around again. "I just want you to know that I don't think of you any less of a man." He stopped once again and patted my head with a small smile.

"Thanks."

[laylabahiti]

HSHQTASK005: A REFLECTION 

i originally posted this task in march 2017, so almost 3 years ago (wow). i already regret looking at this old one lmao

001. name / age / pronouns

2017: xee / twenty / she, her 2020: xee / twenty-three / she, her — fun fact, mine and evy’s bdays are 2 days apart #taurussquad

002. which character(s) do you play?

2017: my complicated af beaN layla. idek what’s going on with her at this point. 2020: i’m screaming i can’t believe i thought 2017 layla was complicated. i had no idea what was to come. i picked up biel not long after that. also had katalina aka brucey’s wifey n i miss her. juliana is a fairly recent addition and, i’m about to spill the beans, a glücksburg is coming.

003. nationality / ethnicity / timezone

2017: american / lots of white european and the other half o’ me is ashkenazi jewish / right now i’m back and forth between pst and mst. homeland is mst though. 2020: obvs nothing has changed except no more back and forth with timezones. strictly mst now.

004. tell us a bit about your  home state.

2017: it’s the first day of spring and we almost reached 100 degrees F :’) we don’t really have autumn or spring here tho. it’s either hot as balls summer or frozen. no in between. like, as soon as temps get below 70 F people break out their jackets. 2020: welcome to the desert, “it’s a dry heat”

005.  favourite color / fruit / season

2017: green / honeydew melon / spring 2020: still green and all its shades / tbh idk how i chose a fave fruit bc i raaarely eat it but bananas and watermelon too / “spring”

006. favourite books + writer whose writing style you admire the most

2017: this isn’t a fair question smh. i have too many titles and names going through my head at once to answer this. 2020: still no fave so i’m just gonna answer this with what i’m currently reading. it’s called suffer strong and it popped up on my insta feed last week (big brother is listening and they know i’m a stressed mf) cheese moment: i admire all ur writing styles :~)

007. what kinda music do you listen to + any fave bands / musicians

2017: listen to a lil bit of everything. these ‘favorite’ questions are difficult for me to answer 2020: same answer tho i grew up listening to the eagles so they hold a special place in my heart n soul. i get to go see them in a couple months (hopefully w my dad) and i’m v excited

008. what are you doing for a living / what are you studying?

2017: lmAO well rn i work in the kitchen of a gas station (sah classy). 2020: went from working in the store to working in corporate *finger guns* apparently i never said what i was studying but i was still in school then. justice studies with a minor in military leadership and certifications in human rights and socio-legal studies. then i studied astrophysics with minors in cyber intel + security and math for a semester, but i didn’t want any more debt ajskdf

009. what’s your dream occupation?

2017: IDK but it has to involve happiness and a nice salary. i have to feed my zoo somehow. 2020: what r dreams lmao

010. relationship status

2017: single then. single now. single forever. 2020: every time i think about putting myself out there, something happens. i don’t have time to date atm

011. coffee, tea or hot chocolate?

2017: it depends on the weather. if it’s cold i’ll have hot chocolate. i usually drink tea at meals whenever though. 2020: i blame my work for all the coffee i drink now, but still all of the above. 

012. dream holiday destination?

2017: santorini 2020: honestmeme....where the hell did i pull santorini from. idk i was supposed to go to iceland for study abroad last year but yknow i withdrew from the university. i still wanna go tho

013. the thing you’re most proud about yourself

2017: not afraid to stand up for myself + others 2020: young me made it sound noble but honestly i’ll put ppl in their place, i don’t have patience anymore jakdas. but tbh right now i guess it’s my perseverance? life has been shitty for a few months but u gotta keep on truckin’

014. tell us a bit about your family!

2017: goD they’re nuts. i’m the middle child out of all my siblings but the youngest on my dad’s side. large age gaps are common, like half my sisters are old enough to be my mom. lots of grand babies and great grand babies. when we’re all together (like this past weekend) it’s ….wild. communication is v poor too. i only have one brother out of my eight siblings, and all those siblings are only half-related to me. at 5′5 i’m one of the tallest in the fam which says a lot. 2020: they’re still nuts n i don’t speak to my mother anymore. i should probs add that my parents have been divorced since i was a few months old so she hasn’t been in the pic for a while. even when she had custody of me jaksldf find me ron howard i’ll give him the rights to my life story

015. how long have you known your closest friend?

2017: three years. 2020: we’re going on 6 years jaksdf i’ll be maid of honor in her wedding this year. i also have another friend that i failed to mention last time but we’ve been close for 9 years (jfc)

016. superpower you’d like to have?

2017: invisibility 2020: mind reading so i know who’s Fake jaklsdjf

017. celebrity you’d like to meet?

2017: john stamos ?? idk i never really thought about it. i’ve met michael phelps though!! 2020: ig i’ll stick with stamos?? ooh or steve carrell or jennifer aniston. 

018. guilty pleasures

2017: chocolate and french fries. i love love love french fries. 2020: now my guilty pleasure is dr. pepper bc i cut it out of my diet.

019. pet peeves

2017: mouth noises (misophonia). people talking over each other and not listeninG. lowkey people leaving the toilet seat up or leaving toilet paper in the toilet like…just flush again. 2020: i really went off on tp huh?? another pet peeve is people committing to something then backing out/flaking without a heads up

020. do you have any hobbies?

2017: sports !!! i’m a grade a heaux for sports. tennis, archery, golf. anything that doesn’t require lots of muscle ya feel. one of my ~hobbies~ i guess is organizing things. i have multiple planners and use them all daily. 2020: i miss how sporty n active i was jkasdf this is my hobby.

021. where would you like to live in the future?

2017: i would looooooove to live in san diego but i’ll probs be stuck in the desert drylands. 2020: tbh i was looking into memphis homes bc it’s cheap compared to here but i don’t really care where i end up. just want a place of my own yknow

022. tell us a story about a thing that recently happened to you! it can be a funny, scary, sad story, your pick!

2017: redacted bc it was college angst lmao and not pretty 2020: i found out this morning that my cell phone # is somehow linked to some random guy a few miles away and idk how to fix it online. got some texts today and yesterday this one guy called me 6 times back to back while i was on the phone with someone else. i guess that’s another pet peeve of mine, pls leave a message if it’s important jaklsdf

[anyoneseenadam]

Hi! Could you do an azriel x reader where they have a huge argument but it ends with fluff? Thank you!

pairing: azriel x reader (acotar)

warnings: mentions of self harm and suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, shouting, swearing and a butt ton of angst but with some fluff at end

a/n: this is kinda self indulgent because i’m vvv depressed rn and for some reason angst rlly makes me feel better so i hope u enjoy!! pls comment it rlly means the world <3

—————————————————————————-

You knew Azriel was stressed. His hands clenched, lips red from excessive chewing, his gaze stormy and sharp words hurting anyone that pried to deep. You knew you should leave him alone and let him finish whatever he needed to do, but it had been a week and while you had noticed he was stressed, he seemed oblivious to your pain.

You had woken up a week ago with a heavy head, your entire body weighing you down, making everything seem too loud and too bright. The first day you had laid in bed all day, barely eating and when Azriel found you hours later he simply presumed you had just taken an early night.

But you couldn’t sleep.

A few days later you were practically withering away. You had barely eaten in days; you couldn’t sleep, and you missed your mate horribly. Every part of you ached as you dragged yourself into the shower, desperate to scrub away the layer of dirt you could feel on your skin. You stood under the scalding water, hands moving on their own accord to wash your skin, your head moving a million miles an hour as your eyes itched from the hot tears that were mixing with the even hotter water.

You leaned a hand against the counter when you got out, your legs shaky and weak from the lack of food you had consumed, you considered just getting back into bed, but you knew you needed help. You had gotten like this before and it always ended in some form of unhealthy coping mechanism, but you had promised Azriel you wouldn’t do that again so you instead you pulled your clothes on again, not bothering to dry your hair and dragged your feet to the kitchen.

When you didn’t find him there you frowned but went about making yourself some toast to quell the nausea brewing in your stomach. With your food you padded through your house but couldn’t find him anywhere, feeling more hot tears spill as you realised he was out.

You knew his job was hard, but your heart ached as you realised he truly hadn’t noticed the change. You sent a pulse down the bond as you sank to the floor in tears, your head heavy and heart numb. You didn’t get any reply, so you tried sending another one, to no avail, almost as if he were waving away your cries for help.

You cried for about fifteen minutes, before standing and going back through to your room, sitting on your bed, and staring at a blemish in the floor as you fiddled with the toy you had kept since you were young. You felt guilty for the thoughts running through your head, never wanting to make Azriel alone but feeling so lost in your own head that all you wanted to do was die, to feel the lightness you vaguely remembered enjoying as a child. You were standing to move to your bathroom, itching for your razor when you heard the front door open, relief flooding through you that he was finally home.

You walked out the room, fiddling with the sleeves of your oversized hoodie as you went to meet him. He was standing in the kitchen, shoulders tight and your heart panged at the sight of him, stressed and tired. You considered turning and leaving him but remembered that he told you to always come to him when your head was being cruel, so you shuffled forward, wrapping your arms around his back, and pressing your face between his shoulder blades, breathing easier as you inhaled him, your heart feeling some form of peace at last.

But he shrugged you off, moving away from you and you felt white hot dread fill you.

“Not right now (y/n), I’m busy.” His voice was cold as he made himself a cup of coffee, not offering you one as he usually would.

“I- I know I just haven’t seen you in a while.” You fought to keep your voice steady, but he didn’t seem to notice or care about the breaks. You felt your breathing getting deeper and your hands were tingling as the panic rose in you.

“That’s because my jobs fucking important!” he shouted and you flinched, tears swarming in your eyes as you wiped your sweating hands on your hoodie, stepping to him.

“But you said I should come to you if-“ he cut you off by slamming his hands down, shoulder hunched and glare furious as he shouted at you.

“Will you just fuck off! I have important shit going on.” You stopped where you were standing as he picked up his mug, storming out the room and slamming the door to his office behind him.

Tears spilled out of your eyes and you stumbled as you sat down, legs and hands going numb as you hyperventilated, the panic attack hitting you full force as you sobbed into your hands, trying to muffle the sounds so you wouldn’t bother Azriel anymore than you already had. You counted your breaths as you dug your nails into your palm, trying to calm yourself down and thankfully, slowly your breathing began to return to normal as you wiped at your eyes.

Of course he didn’t care. No one else does, you don’t deserve him, and you should be thankful that you have someone so good to you. Half your brain was arguing in his favour as the other half protested, but he hurt you, you can’t let him in again, this is what happens when people get to close.

Your head kept arguing with itself as you pulled yourself upright, walking through to your room and climbing under the covers of your bed, crying yourself to sleep, head pounding and somehow heavier than before.

--

You woke up to an empty bed and pounding headache. You dragged yourself out from under the covers and went to receive a glass of water and some painkillers, finding Azriel in the kitchen.

He smiled softly at you when you came in, but you averted your gaze, going to the sink and filling a large glass.

“Would you like a coffee?” he asked, his hand coming to your hip, but you shook your head, pulling out of his grip and clearing your throat as a weighted silence filled the room. “I’m sorry I shouted at you,” he muttered, desperate to get you to look at him again, but you just turned away, muttering a small “it’s okay,” under your breath and leaving.

You walked back to your room and sat down on the bed as you sipped your water and taking two painkillers. Azriel followed you in soon after, guilt gnawing at his insides and he stood quietly and watched as you pulled the jumper you were wearing over your head, pulling on a clean one.

He inhaled sharply as he saw the change in your body, moving closer to you.

“Have you been eating?” he asked, and you closed your eyes, facing away from him and staying silent as you no longer trusted your voice or temper. “Baby, you have to eat.” While he said it in a pleading manner, your brain heard it as angry, thousands of comments pertaining to how worthless you were springing to the forefront of your mind.

“It’s kinda hard to eat when you want to die.” You snapped and Azriel felt a pang go through his heart.

“(y/n). You promised me you would come to me if you felt that way,” he was frustrated, hating himself for getting annoyed at you but angry that you were ignoring him.

You laughed bitterly and you went to the bathroom, scrubbing the old makeup of your face, “I did. Or at least tried to,”

You stormed past him, pulling on a pair of joggers before moving to leave the house, but Azriel caught your arm.

“You haven’t done anything stupid have you?” he asked, worry and guilt filling him as your eyes filled with tears, finally looking at him enough that he could see the dark circles surrounding your hollow eyes, your skin dull and lacking its usual dewy finish.

“Why do you care.” You pulled your arm from his grip, stepping back and creating space between the two of you.

“Because you’re my mate and I need to know that you’re okay.” He tried to move closer again, but you stepped back so he stopped.

“Your mate huh? Then why haven’t I seen you in a fucking week, even though we fucking live together! Why are you only just noticing that I’m struggling!?” each word hit him like a blow and only his decades of training stopped him from bursting into tears, falling to his knees and begging your forgiveness.

“I was struggling so much, I couldn’t leave my bed, I wasn’t eating, I wanted to kill myself and as soon as I tried to reach out for help you shut me down.” You head was bowed, tears flowing freely as you sobbed into your hand.

He stepped closer his arms wrapping around you as you sobbed into his chest, “I’m sorry baby, I’m so, so sorry,” he kissed your head, his heart cracking at your next muffled words.

“You only care now because you feel bad. I don’t need your sympathy.”

“No baby, I’m sorry. I care so much I was just tired and stressed last night and I know that’s not an excuse, but you have to know how much I care about you. I love you so much and I need you to be okay.” He tightened his arms around you, bringing the two of you to kneel on the floor.

“I’m not okay Az,” you muttered, and his chest tightened as he stroked your back, allowing you to cry for as long as you needed.

“I know baby, but it’s okay. We’ll get through this, together.” He kissed your forehead lightly and you tilted your head to look at him, eyes wide and glassy with tears. He kissed one of the tears that was slowly trailing down your face away and you sniffed, before he kissed you lightly. He picked you up and carried you over to the bed, the two of you lying down together, tucked safely into his arms as he whispered sweet nothings and apologies to you as you fell asleep. Tears drying on their own.

[wherethewindtakesher]

weeeeee

the biggest thank you to @caws5749 for sending me all 134 questions 🥰

1: Name Lorena

2: Age 20

3: 3 Fears drowning, the ocean, and fishes.

4: 3 things I love my dog, my friends, and mangoes.

5: 4 turns on humor, charisma, telling me how much you want m-, and moaning.

6: 4 turns off being full of themselves, disrespectfulness, afraid to be themselves, and not showing a care about the well being of others.

7: My best friend k, f, and @brownmantwo.

8: Sexual orientation bisexual.

9: My best first date i’ve never been on a date!

10: How tall am I 5′2

11: What do I miss being fucking skinny-

12: What time were I born 10:45 pm!

13: Favorite color red.

14: Do I have a crush uh...

15: Favorite quote “I got STDS they make my coochie itch” SKSKSKDKSDKAD.

16: Favorite place my house.

17: Favorite food rice.

18: Do I use sarcasm 99.9% of my vocabulary is sarcasm.

19: What am I listening to right now “everything I wanted” by billie eilish because ya girl is depressed.

20: First thing I notice in new person how they hold themselves.

21: Shoe size 8 or 8.5 sometimes a 9.

22: Eye color dark brown.

23: Hair color black.

24: Favorite style of clothing baggy clothes or dark bold colors.

25: Ever done a prank call? yea. I use to call those numbers where it takes you to a different number to prank.

27: Meaning behind my URL its not necessarily an interesting story I just came up with it in my head one day.

28: Favorite movie too many to count.

29: Favorite song literally too many.

30: Favorite band three days grace.

31: How I feel right now fucking sad.

32: Someone I love my friends.

33: My current relationship status single.

34: My relationship with my parents its good! but there is a lot I tend to not discuss with them.

35: Favorite holiday halloween!

36: Tattoos and piercing I have I have two tattoos, both on my left arm. my finger tattoo is of a rose and my bicep is a ghost wearing a witch hat! piercing: septum, conch (but it closed) and my two lobes.

37: Tattoos and piercing I want a bunch more of tattoos and I want to get a few more ear piercings.

38: The reason I joined Tumblr to be cool like my older niece.

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? no we do not. lots of love and respect left in between us.

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? not really.

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? NO BECAUSE @domromanoff and I ARE BASICALLY SISTERS AND THATS INCEST.

42: When did I last hold hands? years ago.

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 10 minutes to get up from bed and 5 to actually get ready.

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? yes I have because I like smooth legs.

45: Where am I right now? my kitchen.

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? no ones because they'll just leave me behind and laugh at my misery. jkjk but my dear friends.

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? L O U D.

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? I do because rent in LA is fucking e x p e n s I v e.

49: Am I excited for anything? to go to bed.

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? I have 2 of them.

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? too often tbh.

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? a few weeks ago I believe?

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? they should because thats their baby momma.

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? yup.

55: What is something I disliked about today? waking up.

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? lady gaga and scarlett johansson.

57: What do I think about most? what tattoo to get, if I should get another dog, how to annoy @caws5749 that day, etc etc.

58: What’s my strangest talent? I can move the bones in my wrist.

59: Do I have any strange phobias? im scared of fish!

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind because I am a nervous mess and I like taking control of such.

61: What was the last lie I told? “im okay”

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? both honestly! I love video chatting with @domromanoff and my friends!

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes and yes.

64: Do I believe in magic? hell yea I grew up around all that shit.

65: Do I believe in luck? not really.

66: What’s the weather like right now? its chilly.

67: What was the last book I’ve read? jesus christ I forgot the name but its currently under my bed rn.

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? YES.

69: Do I have any nicknames? clown, wueej by @caws5749, pi- prin-, bottom by @domromanoff, lore, lorecha, whore, hoe.

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I pulled my thigh muscle recently and OMG I WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN.

71: Do I spend money or save it? I SPEND IT HONEY YASSSS.

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? sadly no.

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? my water bottle c:

74: Favorite animal? I fucking love cows.

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? crying lmao.

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? nikolas is it not??

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? “Judas” by lady gaga.

78: How can you win my heart? just be yourself and believe wholeheartedly of what you want and desire.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? “madi did it”

80: What is my favorite word? fuck.

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr @caws5749 @domromanoff @dailyavengers @ravenforce andddddd @supercorpbechloe there’s so many more I’m editing this rn AKSJSHSHSHS I love each and everyone’s accounts here!

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? GLOBAL WARMING IS A REAL THING YALL.

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? i think so 👀 but im not close to them.

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? maybe like telekinesis or some mind power.

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? what goes on in your mind?

86: What is my current desktop picture? a winter forest.

87: Had sex? if oral sex counts then sure.

88: Bought condoms? I haven't bought them I just magically obtained them.

89: Gotten pregnant? oh god no.

90: Failed a class? yUUUUP.

91: Kissed a boy? yes.

92: Kissed a girl? yes.

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? back in middle school lmaoooo.

94: Had job? yes im on my second one rn.

95: Left the house without my wallet? all the damn time.

96: Bullied someone on the internet? no because im not a fucking asshole.

97: Had sex in public? not yet.

98: Played on a sports team? yea I was in track n field and cross country!

99: Smoked weed? I haven't but I once wanted to try it but I was to much of a pussy to skip class.

100: Did drugs? nope.

101: Smoked cigarettes? ew no.

102: Drank alcohol? y’all Ive gotten so fucked up on here so of cOURSE. my friends think I have a drinking problem ksjlksdjlkjds.

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? I am not.

104: Been overweight? yea.

105: Been underweight? No.

106: Been to a wedding? I have when I was younger.

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? sadly yes because of video games.

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? yea when I binge watched the walking dead.

109: Been outside my home country? yes!

110: Gotten my heart broken? yeah.

111: Been to a professional sports game? Yes because everyone in LA has possibly been to a dodgers game.

112: Broken a bone? nope!

113: Cut myself? oh man..I have and I deeply regret doing so but its a part of me now and i’ve accepted it.

114: Been to prom? YES! best night of my life.

115: Been in airplane? once and that was it because fuck planes lsjdkjlksdjs.

116: Fly by helicopter? nope!

117: What concerts have I been to? daddy yankee and some other guy I don't remember heheheh.

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? duh im gay.

119: Learned another language? I tried (and failed) to learn japanese.

120: Wore make up? a couple of times. i’m not the hugest fan of makeup.

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? nope!

122: Had oral sex? once.

123: Dyed my hair? too many times.

124: Voted in a presidential election? no but I will this upcoming one for sure.

125: Rode in an ambulance? no but I want to!

126: Had a surgery? no but I did have to get stitches on my lower lip.

127: Met someone famous? I meant jenni rivera’s brother at a movie theater once!

128: Stalked someone on a social network? yes? but not to a weird extent.

129: Peed outside? only because no one was around to open the door to my apartment complex and I couldn't hold it in-

130: Been fishing? I am T E R R I F I E D of fish so no.

131: Helped with charity? yup! I bought a shirt from one of @markiplier‘s livestreams that donated all the money to a charity.

132: Been rejected by a crush? yea.

133: Broken a mirror? I think maybe once??

134: What do I want for birthday? I want a tattoo.

[invaderzia1]

Summertime Sadness (Reiner Braun x Female!Reader) (Modern Au)

Not associated with that one song :) yo this was supposed to come out beginning of summer but look where we are now huh

Everything hurt. There was a distinct pain in the back of your throat and your nose was very clogged. As you began to awaken more, it became ever clear that this was your allergies again. The past couple days have been quite painful for you, but something about today felt different. Sitting up in bed, rubbing away the sleep from your eyes, you saw your boyfriend laying next to you, quietly scrolling through his phone. The burly male turned towards you, smiling up at you.

“Morning, sunshine.” He said.

You opened your mouth to speak, but only a faint croak of words came out. Your eyes widened as the truth of what was wrong set in. Reiner stared back at you, a dorky grin forming on his face. There was still a dull pain in your throat and a noticeable scratchieness.

“Babe, can you get me some water?” You croaked out, cringing at how your voice sounded.

Reiner held in his laugh, not wanting to land on your bad side, and simply nodded, quickly makin his way out of the room. From your bedroom you could still hear Reiner laughing as he made his way to the kitchen. A pout proudly made its way onto your lips, crossing your arms as you waited for him to return.

Reiner reentered the room after a few minutes, finding his girlfriend pouting at him. While he didn’t like to see her upset, she sure looked cute with that pout. He handed her the water she wanted and returned to his place in bed.

“Come on, babe. You’ve gotta admit you sound pretty funny right now.”

“Doesn’t mean you can be mean about it.” She mumbled, Reiner barely catching what she said.

Reiner roller his eyes and wrapped an arm around you. “How about I make you the best chicken soup you’ll ever eat and you turn on a movie and relax? Would that make you feel better?”

Not wanting to strain your voice, you nodded and made yourself comfortable in the bed. Reiner just sent a soft smile towards you as he got back up and left the room. You immediately missed the warmth of his body, but knew soup would be better than just cuddling today.

The pain in your throat was still ever present and making everything ten tones worse for you. The water was helping but not as much as you wanted. Hopefully Reiner would be able to find some for you when he came back. Reaching for you phone, you noticed several messages from one of your close friends.

Porcky Boi 🐽🐽: yo you still wanna get lunch later???

Porcky Boi 🐽🐽: wake up I need an answer soon

Porcky Boi 🐽🐽: I stg I will burst into your house and get the answer myself if you don’t respond soon

Rolling your eyes at his brash nature, you began to type your response, hoping he wouldn’t be rushing into the apartment any time soon.

(Y/n): sorry, don’t think I can make it. Super sick rn :(

(Y/n): we can reschedule for later this week, hopefully I don’t die by then

Porcky Boi 🐽🐽: boo hoo

Porcky Boi 🐽🐽: what’s wrong? Fuckface give you the flu or something?

(Y/n): haha v funny

(Y/n): but no, my allergies are trying to close my throat currently. Can barely breath rn

Porcky Boi 🐽🐽: sucks to be you

You sighed at his comment, used to the rough attitude.

Porcky Boi 🐽🐽: do you need me to come over or something? Rather you don’t die tbh

(Y/n): nah, reiners here and making me some soup

There wasn’t a response immediately, probably due to Porco gagging at your boyfriends name. The two really didn’t get along, though it was more like Porco had some sort of vendetta against him. He was the one to introduce you and Reiner, but it wasn’t like he was trying to get you together, that was on both of you. The thought was quite amusing, remembering how much Porco scolded you when you first told him you were interested in the blonde male.

The phone buzzed in your hand, bringing you out of your thoughts.

Porcky Boi 🐽🐽: ew

Porcky Boi 🐽🐽: you’ll need to decontaminate your apartment after he leaves 😷😷

(Y/n): don’t be rude just cuz your jealous

Porcky Boi 🐽🐽: Not jealous, just warning you . Tho you should clean it to get the pollen out I guess.

Porcky Boi 🐽🐽: well, I’ll let you be. Stay well and sleep a lot.

(Y/n): peace, see you later

Closing out of your messages, you began to pull up the YouTube app and catch up on some of your videos. Half way through the video, you heard the unmistakable foot steps of your boyfriend approaching. As he entered the room you noticed him looking as adorable as ever. His hair was slightly messy and he was in a bright pink apron your grandmother had given you a few years ago. He smiled softly at you before spreading, leaning against the door frame.

“You okay back here? Want me to get you anything?” Reiner asked.

“Actually,” you started, the scratchy feeling making it harder to speak as your voice continued to disappear, “if you could grab some throat lozenges that’d be great.”

Reiner just nodded and ducked out of the room, leaving you back to your videos. You could hear him down the hall, tearing up your bathroom trying to find those lozenges. After a few minutes of Reiner tearing everything apart, he returned. He had a sheepish look on his face as he walked towards you.

“Soooo, I could only find one lozenge.” He said, drawing out the first part of the sentence. “But, I’ll go out and grab you a full pack of them!! And some candy!” God, he was like a cute puppy, just trying to make you happy.

“That’s fine, I just need some lozenges, I don’t need you blowing your entire paycheck on me.” You held out your hand for the lozenge as Reiner handed it to you. Quickly popping it into your mouth, you felt the relief almost instantly.

“I just want you to feel better, so if you need anything, and I mean anything, I will go get it for you, babe-“ Reiner was cut off by the sound an alarm going off, somewhere further into the apartment. “Shit, one minute!!” He yelled out, running out of the room and down the hall.

You couldn’t help but laugh at his antics, it was quite the sight as not too long ago he was teasing you and now here he was acting all cute and shit for you. You truly felt lucky to have him. You wanted to yell out to him and ask if everything was okay, but current circumstances stopped that from happening. Instead, you just stayed in bed and hoped everything was okay. Hopefully if the apartment caught fire Reiner would come in and save you, cuz there was no way you would be able to run far like this.

After waiting for what felt like an eternity, which was more like 10 minutes, Reiner returned with a bowl in one hand and a mug in another. As he placed it down onto the side table next to you, the smell of the soup he made wafted towards you. Dear god, it smelt heavenly!! You nearly melted right there, but Reiner quickly dipped the spoon in and brought it towards your lips. It tasted better than it smelt, taking you to a higher plane of existence.

“Mmmm, who knew you were such a good cook.” You mumbled in a state of bliss.

“Not many people, I try to keep it a secret.” He replied, taking a seat on the other side of the bed.

“What for? Such a talent shouldn’t be hidden.”

Reiner chuckled to himself, wrapping an arm around you. “I don’t need the guys to make fun of me for this, if Porco found out I don’t think I’d live it down.”

“Oh hush, it’s not that bad.” You jokingly scolded him, lightly nudging him with your elbow. Taking another spoonful of soup, you leaned into Reiner’s broad chest.

“So you feeling any better?”

“I can kind of get a sentence out now, so that’s something, but other than that still feeling pretty shitty.”

You grabbed the remote from the bed side table and turned on your television, switching to Netflix and scrolling down to the movie section. There were a few movies which caught your eye, but after a bit more searching a small squeal came from you as you stumbled on your favorite movie. Reiner rolled his eyes, yet kept his mouth closed.

“Babe, oh my god, we have to!!” You gushed, your voice cutting out here and there from the high pitch glee.

“It’s your choice, babe. Though, you have seen it like twenty times already.”

Ignoring his comment, you pressed play on the movie and snuggled against Reiner in a more comfortable position, continuing to sip on your soup as Reiner did the same.

Half way through the movie, Reiner began kissing down your neck, slightly pulling your attention away from the screen. His little kisses were sweet at first, but slowly you could feel his teeth scrape against the skin. It wasn’t long before he started biting down and sucking on the skin.

Letting a shaky moan escape your lips, you lightly pushed him off, wanting to focus on the movie. However, Reiner tightened his grip around you waist and left another mark on your neck.

“Reiner, stop!” You whined out.

Reiner just hummed out his response, not stopping his actions. His nose rubbed against the soft skin of your neck, placing a soft kiss on the dark mark he left.

Your breathing started to become heavy, due in part mostly to how swollen your throat was feeling, but your boyfriends nips weren’t helping either. Obviously, you weren’t in the mood for this, but you weren’t gonna just let him stop either.

Reiner wasn’t dumb either, he wasn’t going in for the kill, he just wanted to distract you from how shit you felt. But, he wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to mark you as his either. Turning to look at you, Reiner chuckled at your flushed face, finding it adorable at how embarrassed you seemed to get at his actions.

“Aw, babe, you look so cute,” Reiner cooed, resting his head on your shoulder.

“Not funny, ya big bear.” You squeaked out, crossing your arms. A cute pout made its way to your face, turning away from his face.

Reiner rubbed his face against the side of your neck, his eyes closed as he did. The scruffiness of his beard made you cringe, but the softness of the rest of his face was nice. He hummed out a response, enjoying how close you are.

“Stop,” You stuttered out, “It tickles!”

You tried to squirm from his grasp, but his grip was strong around your waist, effectively holding you in place. A few more failed attempts at escaping and pleading with him only made him rub his beard against you more, an evil smirk on his lips.

“If you want it to stop, then you’ll have to kiss me!” Reiner proclaimed, as if he was a Disney villain.

“Fine, I’ll do it. Just stop with the beard, you monster!”

Reiner loosened his grip and, as promised, removed his beard from your neck. He readied his lips for the kiss, as if he was a lovesick school girl waiting for her crush to man up and kiss her. Instead, he felt her lips press against his cheek, before pulling away. Reiner opened his eyes, pouting as he saw her nervously scratch her neck.

“Baaaaaabe.”

“Yeah?”

“You can do better than that, give me a real kiss this time.”

You purses your lips together, using your secret weapon on him. Puppy eyes. You knew that Reiner wouldn’t be able to handle the cuteness when you unleashed them.

“But.... babe, you said only one kiss.”

Reiner’s cheeks dusted with pink, already falling victim to your trick. Just looking at you, he felt his heart beat faster, finding you cuter than ever. He stared down at you, causing you both go engage in a silent battle to see who would win. Thought, Reiner didn’t stand a chance against you. He threw his hands up in defeat, covering his face as you cheered in victory.

Over exciting yourself, it felt harder than before to breath, causing you to let out several choked coughs. Reiner chuckled at your struggle, moving a hand away from his face as he did, making sure you were okay.

After that, you both returned to the movie. You cuddled into Reiners broad chest as you began to feel yourself grow tired, clearly your shitty allergies we’re making you feel weaker than usual. It wasn’t long until you feel asleep, cuddled up ti your loving boyfriend, who played with your hair until you passed out.

While your summer allergies may get you down, there’s always someone near to cheer you back up.

[wildfangz]

@liliithvatore tagged me in that simself thing thats been goin around DAYS ago but here it finally is! also thank you for the tag this was fun :-]

I tag @slythersim @thelurgoyf @seoulchii @weicyn @solitasims @daisydezem @raha-plays-the-sims if they want to do it & anyone that just wants to do it in general! message me and I’ll even @ u directly if u want. 

anyway lets DO THIS shitload of questions under the cut u’ve been warned!!!

1. what is your name?

julian

2. what is your nickname?

jewel, jules

3. birthday?

oct 26th

4. what is your favorite book series?

percy jackson and the olympians will probably always own my heart & soul

5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

yes & yes. tho i do think a lot of alien sightings and conspiracy theories and what not are bullshit

6. who is your favorite author?

maggie stiefvater probably? also cornelia funke but its been years since ive read anything by her so i cant be sure BUT i loved inkheart & the thief lord so much

7. what is your favorite radio station?

ummm when i listen to the radio at all i kinda just switch between two rock stations and our popular music station.

8. what is your favorite flavor of anything?

blue raspberry !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tasty and i love a blue tongue

9. what word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful?

cool. or bitchin’.  i play it simple

10. what is your current favorite song?

hands like houses - revive

11. what is your favorite word?

roulette and inhibition which i never get to use either as much as i want !

12. what was the last song you listened to?

emarosa - givin’ up ! its a bop!

13. what tv show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

the new she-ra on netflix its so good. and gay

14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

moana. its also like the only movie i dont have trouble getting thru despite how many times ive already seen it

15. do you play video games?

16. what is your biggest fear?

idk... being inherently unlovable i guess n ending up alone? also spiders !

17. what is your best quality, in your opinion?

im fairly open-minded and laid back. Unless someones being like, purposely nasty or something I generally don’t get defensive or aggressive. also a lot of little quirks that piss others off dont bother me im very u do u as long as its not actually harming anyone and ive had people tell me this makes it easier to open up to me so thats probably my best quality....

18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion?

....at the same time though i do get very sensitive when faced w/ criticism even if its of the fair variety when its not phrased really gently for various reasons and i dont like that. especially since I have a tendency to not even talk to people about it. I’ll just immediately start distancing myself. also other than that i think overall I have a really high tolerance lvl but if you cross that line I hold a grudge like a motherfucker

9. do you like cats or dogs better?

cats! dogs are good too but cats are a lot easier for me to handle...and quieter generally but even when they’re loud cat sounds dont get to me quite as much as barks do

20. what is your favorite season?

autumn but im starting to really like summer for some reason? wack :/

21. are you in a relationship?

nope

22. what is something you miss from your childhood?

the lack of responsibility, probably. that sounds real bad lmao but for me its like...I know I’ve grown in various ways over the years but I also feel like so many of my experiences, my trauma, my mental health has held me back and I don’t think I’m mentally where I should be for my age. so all the responsibility of adulthood is just..really overwhelming for me sometimes, even though ive been given a pass from certain aspects of it and the rest is pretty simple its the idea!!!!

23. who is your best friend?

my ex

24. what is your eye color?

25. what is your hair color?

26. who is someone you love?

my mom

27. who is someone you trust?

not really anyone rn unfortunately...would like 2 work on that

28. who is someone you think about often?

are my OCs a fair answer because i am always thinking about my babies.....

29. are you currently excited about/for something?

my favorite webcomic (that also has two of my all time favorite characters in it) just came back!! the artist disappeared back in 2015 like the day after I binge-read the whole fucking thing & i was so disappointed but its BACK and 2018 has been redeemed

30. what is your biggest obsession?

sims probably! i could talk about anything relating to it for hours

31. what was your favorite tv show as a child?

there were so damn many its hard to even think and figure out the most notable ones...i really, really liked teen titans though?

32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?

my ex, again

33. are you superstitious?

not terribly so but somewhat. I take certain things as signs and I mean I do believe in astrology & such to a degree

34. do you have any unusual phobias?

i used to be afraid of mirrors but thats all i can think of and its not even a thing anymore...the only other thing is tornadoes but i dont think its unusual. but it definitely sucks for me ‘cause i live in tornado alley!

35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

behind it....like taking pretty pictures and dont like ppl capturing my image 2 film

36. what is your favorite hobby?

sims.....also singing!!! and drawing!!!! video editing!!!!!!!!! the works

37. what was the last book you read?

The Dream Thieves....havent finished it though because last time i went to read it a spider was lying in wait and im traumatized

38. what was the last movie you watched?

coco i think???

39. what musical instruments do you play, if any?

drums, various other percussion instruments, and violin mainly

40. what is your favorite animal?

ferrets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

41. what are your top 5 favorite tumblr blogs that you follow?

uhhhhh @bratsims @liliithvatore @cabsim @wildlyminiaturesandwich @keysims pls dont feel bad if i didnt include u these were just the first to pop into my head and ive been following some of them since I first made my blog!! and have kept up with their stories completely and enjoy them etc check them OUT !

42. what superpower do you wish you had?

shapeshifting!!! dysphoria? gone. ugliness? gone. want to morph into a fucked up clown and scare people when they realize all the classic clown features are a real actual part of my face? possible!

43. when and where do you feel most at peace?

chillin’ at the pool in summer during the part of the day when no ones there.... swimming is always relaxing 2 me then i love just resting under the sun and drying off afterwards especially since we have a little pond nearby and i can hear the water! its nice

44. what makes you smile?

always and without fail? interacting with anyone i have a crush on. i’ll look like a dope the whole time

45. what sports do you play, if any?

i used 2 play basketball a lot. Like not seriously but it was a thing

46. what is your favorite drink?

dr pepper and monster energy (original flavor) pumps through my veins at this point. we love a carbonated beverage

47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

two years ago for my ex and I’s first year anniversary... I never got it mailed but I did at least take a picture of it (with included caption because my handwriting is atrocious). i was very up front about being a romantic and see heres the PROOF

48. are you afraid of heights?

nope! very excited by them actually

49. what is your biggest pet peeve?

i cant stand passive aggressive behavior. my stance is either get over it or quit acting like a bitch because otherwise im just going to ignore you thats the scorpio way (in all seriousness I really, really do recommend not putting up with it and ignoring it until they decide to be up front with you. it can be exhausting constantly reading into conversations and its not healthy for you or them. if they have something to say they need to learn to talk about it properly, and that lack of social skills is not ever on you)

50. have you ever been to a concert?

yep! i think about....six or so? i love them...which is really funny im autistic and EVERYTHING about them should freak me out and they do in other circumstances but at a show i just live for it

51. are you vegan/vegetarian?

nope! ive thought before id like to go vegetarian...but i couldnt do it with my health problems. also i love shrimp too much

52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

ive always wanted to do something creative! when i was rlly young I thought a lot about singing and acting and writing in particular...all things im still interested in.... also i wanted to be a dictator ages 4-7 because i told my mom i wanted to be president of the world and make people do what i say and she said “honey thats a dictator not a president”. i then made that known at school and that turned into a situation!

53. what fictional world would you like to live in?

pokemon universe or bust. 

54. what is something you worry about?

never being able to do things i want to do or catching up with others because of my disabilities

55. are you scared of the dark?

yes but a reasonable amount i think

56. do you like to sing?

yes :]

57. have you ever skipped school?

yes i used to play sick a LOT and as my parents caught onto it id even go all out to convince them. i was good at school but i hated it so much

58. what is your favorite place on the planet?

dunno! malls maybe i love shopping and looking at material objects i wish to own

59. where would you like to live?

oregon! portland in particular thats been my dream for a few years now

60. do you have any pets?

a cat! he lives with my dad & grandma though...hes grown up there and likes going outside so I felt bad about taking him with me when i moved out but anyway this is him hes fat and stupid and i love him his name is coffee

61. are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

night owl because my rhythm is all fucked up but in my heart....an early bird...if i get a good nights sleep i’ll be up early yacking your ear off and so excited for the day

62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

sunsets are prettier...but sunrises feel more refreshing

63. do you know how to drive?

nope ! im gay !

64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

headphones. better sound quality also discourages people from talking to me slightly more

65. have you ever had braces?

nope! but i need them

66. what is your favorite genre of music?

post-hardcore maybe?

67. who is your hero?

every trans person living their truth and being open and loud about who they are past present & future. the worlds not particularly kind to us and our existence alone is considered a radical act, so its always given me hope to see others refusing to pretend to be someone they’re not in this environment and I’ll always have mad respect for that

68. do you read comic books?

i read manga and webcomics...ive always wanted to get into superhero comics but the amount of issues and different versions is ridiculous and makes it inaccessible 2 me 

69. what makes you the most angry?

i mean its hard to pinpoint what makes me angry the MOST...but a contender is definitely how some people feel free to treat others with cruelty and think its their god given right to deny or attack someones existence in some way, & how acts of kindness, even the most basic are branded as liberal bullshit or whatever....it goes against everything i was taught growing up

70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

real book! electronic device can be easier but....rough on the eyes after a while and nothing beats the real thing for me

71. what was your favorite subject in school?

language arts...at least when we did creative writing stuff

72. do you have any siblings?

two older sisters & an older brother that passed away years ago but. still my brother u kno

73. what was the last thing you bought?

mocha frappe baby!!!!!

74. how tall are you?

5′4″

75. can you cook?

a little bit....not as much as id like to though but im learning

76. what are three things that you love?

storms, cheesy breadsticks, and cat purrs

77. what are three things that you hate?

unnecessary rudeness, being talked down to or generally treated like im stupid, grapefruit which is the worst thing on this list

78. do you have more female friends or more male friends?

female i think?

79. what is your sexual orientation?

im the big bad promiscuous bisexual your parents warned you about

80. where do you currently live?

oklahoma. gofundme campaign to get me out

81. who was the last person you texted?

my friend jojo! just Now!

82. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday afternoon but im a changed man now thats behind me. i will cry about different things soon

83. who is your favorite youtuber?

the mcelroy brothers. also super best friends play. matt, pat & woolie are all great tbh

84. do you like to take selfies?

depends on whether i feel ugly or terribly dysphoric that day or not

85. what is your favorite app?

ummmm....love live school idol festival ive been playin for years its an addiction

86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

dad = bad mom = okay. theres some issues that strain it but its not too bad

87. what is your favorite foreign accent?

i have no idea what the fuck australians are talking about half the time but i dig it anyway 

88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

Italy, Greece, Germany, Japan, Mexico, various other states (ive only been out of state three times. twice to texas and then once to kansas. for five minutes)

89. what is your favorite number?

6!! 26 also

90. can you juggle?

ive always wanted to but alas.... :-[

91. are you religious?

i suppose...but im rlly not into organized religion

92. do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

space probably theres so fucking much of it man!

93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

not to brag but sometimes i eat my mcdonalds hamburgers cold from the fridge so you can figure that one out yourself B)

94. are you allergic to anything?

pecans. not deathly allergic though so catch me eating turtle pie anyway! 

95. can you curl your tongue?

nope :[

96. can you wiggle your ears?

nope :[

97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

usually as soon as i realize....unless someones being real smug and annoying then i might be stubborn about it

98. do you prefer the forest or the beach?

ive never been to the beach but i love her!!!

99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

probably that you have to look at your accomplishments differently when you’re disabled or just struggling, to not be so down on yourself because its a fact that what might be a mole hill to someone else is a mountain to you and you have to judge yourself accordingly. Like maybe you weren’t able to clean the whole house, but washing the dishes and tidying your desk doesn’t usually get done but you did it. That that should be celebrated because while it would also feel good if you did more, you still did something and thats great all things considered.

100. are you a good liar?

sometimes, really depends what im lying about and if im like....into it at all. If my guts against it for whatever reason I’ll have trouble

101. what is your hogwarts house?

i always get slytherin or hufflepuff! usually with like 1 point difference

102. do you talk to yourself?

i am talking to myself right now as i fill this out

103. are you an introvert or an extrovert?

extrovert mainly! i used to think i was more introverted but now i think a lot of exhaustion when theres any comes from me just going the extra mile and actively trying to read people and pick up on social ques.... if I just chill im fine

104. do you keep a journal/diary?

nope...ive tried but i just cant keep up with it so i do the next best thing. shouting into the void on the internet to a bunch of strangers

105. do you believe in second chances?

depends on what you did the first time. Some people just don’t deserve taking that risk imo...but i can be a little guarded so maybe thats a bit too harsh

106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?

turn it in, unless there was no identifying things in it & it was found somewhere kinda random. Then I’d maybe hold onto it unless my gut challenged that

107. do you believe that people are capable of change?

absolutely. i mean thats all we do throughout our lives is change and evolve...that being said I think extremely drastic changes are maybe not entirely impossible, but extremely rare, and the residue of the former self usually sticks around in some form

108. are you ticklish?

yes, dangerously so

109. have you ever been on a plane?

nope

110. do you have any piercings?

one day hopefully!

111. what fictional character do you wish was real?

asra from the arcana.....even if he wasn’t my boyfriend thats just a dude u could chill and eat some pomegranates with u know. Before I downloaded the app my friends kept telling me he was made for me and he really was he ticks like everything on my Favorite Characters Feature List except villain but he has that particular allure & attitude i like so much in villains so thats not a single point off hes perfect

112. do you have any tattoos?

nope...one day! hopefully!

113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

accepting my genderqueerness and bisexuality definitely. Self Love hasn’t been perfected just yet but that was such a huge step in the right direction

114. do you believe in karma?

yes! she doesn’t get shit done as much as id like however

115. do you wear glasses or contacts?

glasses. not contacts yet because my eye doctor is a bitch

116. do you want children?

I do....just not sure if id be a good parent. Its really important to me if I had a child itd be for the right reason and I could raise them well in a healthy environment & be able to take care of all their needs yknow

117. who is the smartest person you know?

probably my friend jojo

118. what is your most embarrassing memory?

one time i looked outside and the sunset was really pretty and i wanted to get a photo of it so i walked out.....and stood like right by the street so there weren’t trees in my way...and then i realized mid-pic 1) i am not wearing pants & my shirt is full of holes 2) id been depressed for days so my hair was a tangled mess. I tailed it back inside so i didnt even get a nice pic it was blurry!

119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

120. what colour are most of you clothes?

black i didnt even have to think about that one

121. do you like adventures?

they are pretty swell

122. have you ever been on tv?

a few times when i was little. always photobombing the news reporters 4 what i thought would eventually lead 2 fame & fortune

123. how old are you?

21

124. what is your favorite movie quote?

this is technically lyrics to that lil song in moana at the end but

“ They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you.”

hits me hard every time! emotional impact? i know her

125. sweet or savory?

sweet!!!!!!!! gotta balance out my bitter somehow

[erlenmeyertrash]

Once you get this, you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly. Then you have to send this to ten of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool).

positivity IS cool my dude. and i’m going to extremely challenge myself by finding the time i did this MONTHS ago (e o n s) and making myself do five OTHER things. because self positivity is hella cool. oh queso

…now i’m mad because i already used two of the ones i thought of uGH

alsO get ready for the ramblies under the cut because :) i :) like :) to :) talk :) it’s just me fleshing out each one for literally no other reason that the aforementioned/extremely obvious love of the ramblies

the shortened version is: 1. i like that i want to fill spaces; 2. i like that i have an independent self from other people or ideas; 3. i like that i can both talk and listen; 4. i like that i’m not afraid to speak in public; and 5. i like that i have a life plan

1. i like that i want to fill spaces. i like that i have this section of my bedroom wall covered in sticky notes and notecards of quotes that i like; i like that i have this burning desire to decorate my new bedroom/living room when i move (in august i caNT WAIT) with a tapestry and pretty curtains and throw pillows and little plant bowls. i like that when i get my first house i already know i want nice-smelling candles in like every room and shelves full of books and mementos and pictures lining a hall or a shelf or two. i love designing or rearranging or making a space feel clean yet lived-in, and i love that i love it. 

2. i like that i have an independent self from other people. in the past, i’ve been the type of person to mold my personality to certain groups- from like second or third grade all the way up to last year, i remember doing it. it’s happened in past relationships, too. it’s like ‘oh, this person seems to like when i showcase X aspect of my personality, better Do That All The Time Forever Around Them.’ it’s negatively affected me at times, whether it’s been changing my personality/viewpoint on things to something i now regret (the whole Being Mean And Eternally Sarcastic/Aloof Is Cool in middle/early high school deal) or simply exhausting me from trying to be something that i am, but not totally am (pretending to always be happy when that’s physically impossible to do, thereby ignoring negative emotions and never properly dealing with them). i’m forever clingy and an incessant people-pleaser, but it morphed into attempting to change or hide parts of who i was in order to keep people around. i’ve only recently been strongly attempting to change this part of me by forcing myself first to realize it’s okay to be who i am, even if parts can seem contradictory (being social one day and wanting to be a recluse the next). i’m in a relationship rn (for those of you who remember That God-Awful Drama With Snow White, yes, it’s still the jo bro, he’s p darn cool), and i decided right off the bat to throw caution to the wind and totally be my weird self around him with changing moods and steadfast ideas. sometimes it makes me uncomfortable when our opinions clash, or self-conscious when my brain tells me “oh, he’s going to get tired of you being like X, you need to not do that/not tell him when you feel like this,” but i think it’s helped me grow as a person and made us closer. i’ve realized people who care about you will understand you can’t always or never be/feel a certain way and they’re totally fine with it. b a s i c a l l y i like that i ‘found’ who i was and have learned to be more accepting of it. and yes i could keep going with this :)))))

3. i like that i can talk (woahhh never woulda guessed right) and listen. i used to always feel like (and was told by some people) i talked Too Much™ and never listened to people. it made me feel ridiculously self-centered and try and shut myself up or exclude myself from conversations for fear of shutting others out. the issue was that i did enjoy listening to people; i think, looking back, part of it was just my age/maturity level!! and wanting to say the Perfect thing to be accepted and fit in to whatever group. now, i think i’ve found a more healthy balance. i’m more aware of when it is and isn’t a good time to have a longer discussion; i’m more capable of not interrupting (or if i do, apologizing and holding my tongue, and knowing they’re not crucifying me for it). i’m also able (and love) to sit back and listen to someone ramble about something they feel strongly about or have a unique opinion on. i think i like this about me because i like being heard- so much to where i realize others probably also like it, and i appreciate that i’m able to accommodate it from both perspectives.

4. (a continuation of 3 but still its own thing) i like that i’m not afraid (or. well. no longer completely terrified) to speak in public. sure it can freak me out sometimes; but i was in a high school organization (mock trail anyone? yeah r i p) that forced you to basically perform an hour-long improv show that combined acting with wits and being able to think on the fly (all while wearing a gross suit. like. cmon.). i was in charge of freak fracking closing arguments, which- if you’ve ever watched a Lawyer Show- is the one at the end where they have to make a persuasive speech to the jury entirely based on what transpired in the case. since the events of the case always changed based on your opponent/judge/etc., i had to prepare this five-minute speech as the case was going (while being involved in the case itself as an attorney) and then, once the case was over, immediately present it to the jury of (Real Actual Adult) attorneys. the first few times i did it, i was so scared. but when you’re forced to do something outside of your comfort zone enough times, your comfort zone can morph to accept it (note!!! that this is not me telling you to force yourself far outside of your comfort zone. you don’t see me signing up for Cliff Diving Camp here). it helped me learn how to better carry myself; i can tell it helped my conversational and debating skills, especially with superiors or adults who are More Adultish than me. it helped me learn how to cope better with the jumble of nerves i (still) get before speaking to multiple people or crowds. 

5. i like that i have a life plan. i especially like that i can modify parts of said plan and still believe that i can reach my goals and be happy and content with my life. the current plan is survive these next two years of college, apply to pharmacy school, get into pharmacy school, kick pharmacy school’s butt, and then get a rockin, well-paying permanent job with decent hours so i can play with Oggo and buy him Every Single Toy That Exists In The Universe.

3 and 4 combined have helped me learn how to be more assertive with my thoughts and self(™) and know how to get what i want- which in turn forced me to learn what the heck i wanted, therefore leading into 2 and 5 and discovering 1. and writing all this has made me realize that while i do still have issues with self-confidence, i actually really do like parts of who i am. so thank you anon for this lil burst of confidence on this fine saturday morning ily ♡♡♡

[fettimagines]

Ok, so I'm not sure if you're still doing this or not, but if you are, could you do 27, "I'm pregnant" w/ Wolffe x reader? If you're not accepting rn, just ignore this, or save it for later, whatever you want. Ilove clones and there are not enough clone blogs ou there. Certainly not enough imagine blogs. So thanks! Keep up the great work!

Wolffe x Reader

#27 “I’m pregnant.”

It has been weeks since you’ve seen your boyfriend, and weeks since you found out that you were pregnant. You were nervous, you were pregnant with his baby, he was a clone, a soldier to The Republic. Y/n didn’t even know what would happen to him if anyone found out and told his General, or the Kaminoans. They would probably test their baby and her as if they were just some useless science experiment, terror rocked her as she waited some more. All Y/n could do nowadays was sit and wait, work and wait, or sleep and wait. It was a painful thing, she didn’t know how he would react, would he want to do nothing with her and his child, or blame Y/n for being so careless that night on the down, or would he be angry and tell her to get rid of it? But she knew and loved Wolffe, he had a hard outer shell but he was soft on the inside, he only showed his true self to her, and she hoped he wouldn’t be outraged. When she heard the news of the 104th battalion returning to Coruscant, Y/n immediately rushed to the hangar bay that their shuttles would land at, hoping Wolffe would be among his brothers.

 The first to step out of the shuttles was Plo Koon, in all honestly, Y/n thought he was the nicest, most caring, and wisest out of the Jedi she has met or heard of. Y/n was just an engineer, and often working on his fighter, he always was kind whenever they has the rare moments to talk; and she sometimes thought he could sense the relationship between her and Wolffe. She waited off to the side and watched as Plo Koon and the other Clones walk past her, Plo spotted her and stopped, walking over and having a small cheery conversation. He talked about the battles they went through, making sure to constantly bring up the point that there were minor casualties.  

Y/n’s eyes kept darting around and over him trying to spot the Commander, suddenly Plo looked over his shoulder, “Ah, sorry young Y/n, duty calls, I have a briefing to get to.” Once the Jedi Master walked off, she spotted Wolffe just as he saw her, they gave each other a small nod and went their separate ways. They met elsewhere, never anywhere public, either in a cantina, or in a closet, sometimes even in Y/n’s apartment that wasn’t too far from here. But as she suspected he probably wanted to meet somewhere close, so she went to the closet, and waited for him inside. He stepped inside a little while later, Y/n’s arms wrapping around his hard armored body, his own wrapping around her. “Wolffe, we should talk, please come to my apartment.. This place isn’t just right.” Wolffe pulled back and took off his helmet, he looked exhausted, but his scar was still sexy as ever. His one eye glimmering in the dim light in the small room, “Alright.. I’ll see you later, my love.” He murmured softly, kissing the top of Y/n’s head softly, his accent always sending shivers down her spine.  

Once the Commander stepped out, anxieties began to eat away at him. He has never been this scared before, even when he lost his eye. What if Y/n wanted to leave him? For someone that wasn’t a clone and who lived close by? He constantly asked himself those questions throughout the day till he was released to go out amongst his brothers. They were rowdy, its been weeks since they were able to go out and get drunk at a cantina, they were constantly running around and getting ready for a fight. So it took Wolffe awhile to slip away from them, he had a drink before excusing himself to the refresher, when he just actually slipped out through the front and made his way through the streets of Coruscant to Y/n’s building. She lived on the better side of the planet luckily, her job payed her a little bit more than some other engineers. He rung up to her apartment and she let him in, taking the lift to her floor, quickly making it to her room and knocking. Y/n seemingly pulled him in quickly, bringing him into another embrace, one tighter than before. He was so happy to see her, he loved her so much and being away from her for so long killed him. They held the hug for a long time before Y/n pulled away and beckoned him to her room, with a smirk on his face he followed quickly behind; his worries suddenly disappearing.

As soon as the bedroom door closed behind them, Wolffe was on top of her, kissing her roughly and backing her up towards the bed. This caught Y/n by surprise and took her a minute to regain her thoughts, Wolffe had already removed his chest piece, some of his arm pieces, along with his belt. He sat her down on the bed and crawled over her, his hands grasping onto her. Y/n pushed against his chest and Wolffe immediately stopped, looking over her surprised, “Wolffe wait, please, just sit down.” Y/n said quietly, almost a whisper.  

“Is there something wrong, Y/n?” Wolffe looked at her, Y/n shook her head, “No, nothing is wrong.. Its just..” She sighed and looked down at the ground, “Remember the night we spent together before you left for so long?” Wolffe nodded, it was one of the most magical nights they spent together, it was very romantic, loving and memorable. “Well.. A few weeks ago I went to the medics because I cut myself, and they found out I’m expecting.. while testing me for any diseases I got from the cut.” Y/n looked to Wolffe, he looked a little confused, so she sighed, “Wolffe, I’m pregnant.” He just stared at her for a moment, stunned and shocked, “So.. You’re telling me.. That you are pregnant with my child.. In you?” Y/n nodded, worried now that he would be angry, his gaze turned to the ground and he asked that question again. Y/n grew a little agitated, “Yes.” She replied firmly, watching as he got on the ground on his knees, his face turned away from her. “Wolffe..?” He looked at her, the biggest smile on his face, she never saw him smile so brightly before, it looked weird. “You are pregnant, with my child!” He shouted and crawled over to her, his arms wrapping around Y/n’s waist as he pressed the side of his face into her abdomen; Y/n thought that she could see tears coming from his eyes. Y/n laughed and wrapped her arms around his head and awkwardly hugged him, he was repeatedly kissing her stomach now, “This is the best news I have ever received Y/n..” His voice cracked with emotion, this was a side of Wolffe she has never seen, but she loved it, “I love you so much..” He jumped up to kiss her lips, not giving her the time to reply, both of them falling against the bed, his hands slowly working off their clothing again.