#its not the numbers but the fact that no jojo fans ever see my jojo drawings

[frogmanfae]

Newsies as Things I Heard This Week Number 4

It's a long one

Medda: That was vewy scawy

Race: she did not just say vewy scawy in front of a class at 7 am on a Monday-

Blink: *shows duck earrings*

Elmer: *gasp* I love him his name is jaramiah

Blink: No

Elmer: Yes

Blink: All my ducks are nonbinary

Elmer: ...Their name is jaramiah then idfc

Davey: Can the sun just... Go away for a minute?

Race: Forever. It can just blow up and be gone

Davey: ...No then we'd all be dead

Katherine: Omg I love your outfit!

Sarah: Oh thank y-

Katherine: It's giving like... Rosie the Rivitor we can do it but like... Gay

Sarah: ...

Sarah: Thank you...? I actually love that hold on-

Hotshot: Why do you have 2 sandwiches??

Spot: One of them is for Race

Hotshot: Oh

Albert: Awww they're having a lunch date

Spot: *glares*

Albert: ...No response?

Spot: *GLARES*

Albert: Why are you looking at me like that?

Elmer: *shrugs*

Albert: ...Is it because I just swore really loudly and angrily from the other room?

Elmer: Yeah what was that about?

Albert: The spoons fell when I opened the silverware drawer

Elmer: That seems like an appropriate response

Albert: Shut up

Morris Delancey: Do you ever like see an Elephant shit and like... You like it? Like like like I don't know! But like! I liked it! I don't know! It's just like- *very clearly desperately trying to be relatable and floundering*

(I DON'T KNOW THE CONTEXT TO THIS IT WAS SOME GUY WALKING BEHIND ME IN THE HALLWAY)

Denton: *walking past a group of students eating lunch* Hey I just had triscuts today!

Davey, the guy who brought an entire box of triscuts: They're good right?

Denton: They've been around for 50 years! *leaves*

Race: ...Guys what's a triscut? ... What's a triscut???

Davey, about Romeo: He drank a whole can of tomato soup in the middle of band! Like uncooked unheated, not diluted, straight up- like who does that?? What is he- ashuguwah

Jack: She said we don't have total freedom in America because if we did you could just say you're hungry go to your neighbors house take their baby and eat it

Davey: ...Yeah I don't know what's happening right now but we have work to get started

Race: Om nom

Jack: What??

Davey: *pokes boob with bass drum mallet*

Sarah: *mid sentence* :0

Buttons: Look at me! The football fan! I loove NFL footba-

Crutchie: Shut the fuck up

Buttons: :0

Crutchie: You are a lying piece of they/them shit

Davey: *writing something on notebook paper*

Race: I asked you if you had note book paper and you said no!

Davey: No I didn't?

Race: Yes you did!

Davey: You came with me to my locker to get this??

Race, gay: *shows Jack a picture of a guy*

Jack, bisexual: Smash

Katherine, bisexual: Eh, pass

Jack: Of course you say that it's a guy

Katherine: I am attracted to men

Race: Uh huh

Jack: Hey do you ever think about color theory?

Race: Oh yeah all the time

Katherine: Uh wait back track what do you mean uh huh???

Romeo, watching a video of an artist slowly revealing his work: I'd tap. Not him, the drawing. Oh wait its of a woman nevermind

Race: *steals Davey's phone out of his lap* I just took your cock

Davey: *not paying attention, writing notes* oh I'm just making a...

Race: Did you hear me?

Davey, now realizing Race did not, in fact, ask him what he was doing: ...

Davey: *sigh*

Jojo: Look at this *shows Romeo a video*

Romeo: Ooh

Romeo: I'd fuck a... Biblically accurate angel...

Jojo: ...

Jojo: That's a weird kink

Elmer: I like shiny things

Buttons: Of course you do, faggot

Elmer: :0

Elmer: Periodt

Davey: *random noise random noise* I have autism *random noise random noise*

Race, watching asmr: Ooh I think I'm gonna like this... Oh yeah. Yeah I like that. Hot knife and gummy worm, that's a new kink

Davey: Pff-

Race: I wonder if if that says anything about me

Race: I'm gonna send you into epidemiological shock

Davey: Is that a thing?

Race: *looks at notes he's currently writing on epidemiology*

Romeo: Why are you fondling nuts like that

Albert: *drops Race's phone* oh shit-

Race: You!... Hooker!

Sarah: I wanna take my hoodie off but I'll look like a whore

Davey: I cried over harry potter’s dead parents yesterday

Race: the line has been drawn

Davey: Get off your phone!!

Race: Noo!

Davey: You have a concussion!

Race: I don't care!!

Davey: Brain damage is no joke!

Race: Ho life or no life

Sarah: Hey I also have a flannel on!

Davey: Woah

Sarah: You'll just never see it cuz I have a hoodie-

Davey: You're gay too!

Sarah, who has a whole ass girlfriend: Ew! Gross! Don't call me that slur!!

Albert: I don't understand why I can't just drink water it's like- gsgatsv!

Denton: ...Okay I'm gonna start class now

Elmer, talking about things he'll remember after high school: With the black mold trombone!!

Race: Black mold trombone will go down in history

Race: Okay but first, water bottle flip

Race: You know what makes me happy? Pheromones

Jack: Why are you so obsessed with pheromones??

Race: Because I- actually I'm not gonna say that

Specs: Did you know that nothing would happen if you threw a glass of water on the sun? *yelling* THIS IS BECAUSE THE WATER WOULD NOT REACH THE SUN

Crutchie: I miss covid

Denton: I just wanna watch the football and go home

Race: watch the football

Davey: watch the football

TW SH JOKE Jack: I hope all cutters go to hell. Not like arm cutters like line cutters. I'm going to hell anyway because I'm gay

Albert, singing a choir warm up at band: Mango mango mango mango mango mango mango mango banana banana banana whoo

Crutchie: I'm not in choir but I recognize that and I just realized you're autistic

Denton: That was weak. That was weak sauce. But I think it worked *enthusiastic thumbs up*

Elmer: I know my flowers

Spot: He does, he went to flower camp

Elmer: I did, it was fuckin SICK

Denton: Good news, you both exist!

Jojo: It's good to exist!

Crutchie: ...Okay

Spot: I'm gonna eat you and kill you

Davey, out of nowhere: *soft gasp* heliocase...

Race: Can you imagine if cells bullied each other? Like like "pff- you got a goofy lookin nucleas, idiot"

Spot: I'm gonna eat you, chew you up, and show your pieces to the world

Albert: Imagine just getting home from a long day of work and you just get c o n s u m e d

Elmer: It's super pretty cool

Jojo: Super pretty cool?

Elmer: Super pretty cool

Jojo: Oh nice

Race: I can't get embarrassed

Albert: You-

Albert: But-

Race: I've never been embarrassed in my life

Race: Yeah I don't even think I'd know what that feels like

Spot: What about when you got something nicknamed the "toddler disease" as an adult

Race: :0

Race: Look that's-

Spot: Even if you're not embarrassed, you *should* be!

Race: :00

Spot: Loser! With your toddler immune system !!

Race: Thats just dirty

Davey, a science teacher: What did you get out of reading this study? (About an experiment performed on lizards)

Class: *silence*

Davey: Did you.... Did you like it or-

Splasher, a student: Lizard...

Davey: What was that?

Splasher: For my senior pictures I'm gonna have a bearded dragon

Davey: Uh... Okay did you like the study or-?

Medda: I would never get rid of any of my beloved cello players!

Medda: ...

Medda: *holds up L on forehead*

Race: Pff-

Medda: No! I'm kidding! I'm kidding! I wouldn't get rid of Romeo!

Romeo: :0

Sarah: *zoning out in class, internally* omg his pockets are really deep

Denton: We've all heard that phrase before, we know what that means-

Myron: *has never heard the phrase ever* We? All??

Spot: *threateningly* you'll be the next lizard I test

Davey: *about science* it's like lasagna. It makes you want to choke but you love it because it's your favorite food

Denton: You should read the titles of some of these studies. I mean some of the TITLES are like a paragraph long I can only imagine what the articles are-

Denton: I suppose that's an analogy you could make

Romeo: It's just like Fall Out Boy for real

Jojo: Does that mean if I step on a baby I'm 72℅ Jesus? (I have no idea what this was about)

Davey: *sneezes*

Sarah: How dare you!

Katherine: *at the same time* bless you

Davey: Thank you, KATHERINE

Albert: I run at 5:40 every morning

Finch: Why would you-

Albert: I don't like it :(

Jack: Man come 8pm and I am WORTHLESS

Medda: I know student schedules are very busy so I won't give you any homework so you guys can focus on... Whatever you do... Homework, practices, jobs, injecting lizards with bacteria...

Katherine: I'm an advocate for highlighters I will always support highlighters

Jack: 🤨

Katherine: I support highlighters rights

Race, a scientist in the middle of a big project, exhausted out of his mind: *on the phone* honey, I- I can't watch the kids tonight. I got all these lizards to invest with bacteria and they're all dying and it's my- I did this to them

Spot, also exhausted out of his mind: And you did the kids to me you better get your ass home!

Davey: *loudly cracks his back*

Crutchie: ... BRO-

Davey, as if this happens a lot but this time in particular was bigger: That was intense

Denton, freshman academic biology teacher: It's that time of year where all the freshmen are like "I hate academic biology academic biology is so hard!" and all the sophomores taking advanced chemistry are like "I miss academic biology academic biology was so easy..." *big sigh* it's the same every year. Falls right in line with the pumpkin spice

Buttons: You can't make jokes like that, Mr. Denton

Denton: Yes you absolutely can and you should it was a good one

Davey, teaching a class: I have an occasional glass of red wine but other than that I'm not too wild

Les, a student in said class: Oh please

Davey: ...What?

Les: You heard me

Race: If you were a woman, you were a prostitute. It's what you did

Katherine: What history class are you in??

Crutchie: The sun is blindi- oh my god! What iss that??

Finch: It's new with the reset

Crutchie: What is that bright... /thing/??

Finch: It came with the latest update

Denton: Your lungs look like a carpet! A very outdated carpet, nobody makes carpet like that anymore. When I was a kid everyone's grandma had that carpet

Davey: Anyone else think that's super cool?

Everyone else: *silence*

Davey: Just lie to me

Race: Whoo!

Jack: Incredible!

Albert: So dope!

Davey: Yeah! There we go! Awesome!

Blink: Anyone? Just a piece? A little piece of inflammation?

Elmer, about Pulitzer; I don't think he sleeps.

Crutchie: Pff-

Elmer: No seriously. He responds to emails at midnight and he's at the school by 4 am. And he lives like 2 towns away.

Crutchie: Holy shit

Elmer: I know

Spot: Yeah! I got a jar and you don't!

Albert: Disgustingly gross child of Satan.

Race: Noo don't say that about yourself!

Albert: That's my dad. Satan.

Race: Oh. I mean yeah.

Race, a physics teacher: Alright! Sorry for the interruption, we were saying-....

Race: ...

Race: Position time graph! We-

Race: ...

Race: What were we talking about? Slope!

Davey: *drops paper* that's unfortunate

Sarah: What's up with that? It's like 2 pieces of paper. You can't handle 2 pieces of-

Davey: Shut the fuck up

Crutchie: Cholera! Hello!

TW SUICIDE JOKE Crutchie: You're the cell

Jack: What?

Crutchie: The cell is like "kill me please" you're the cell

Jack: :0

Davey: And then you walk into your- SNEEZE CLOUD!!!

Davey: I'm so gay, I love Crash Course with Hank Green

[jelloire]

The new semester started and I got a lot of new side projects (and am also gonna participate at a design exhibition!~) so I won't be posting as much. I'll try to post at least once a week but no promises

Also guys I hate doing this, I know you're here for Kirb and other games' art but could you please consider rebloging my Jojo art. 5 reblogs I got on my last one is a really small number. No jojo fans will ever see it if there's no reblogs. So please, even if you don't care about jojo, reblog and help me reach those who would like the art if they got to see it <3

[itsbenedict]

I just finished hosting a 15-person game of Mafia for some friends. One tradition we have for these games is that every death is accompanied by some themed narration, so for my game I opted to spice it up with some art on top. Had to draw it real quick since I didn't know for sure who was going to die next until it happened.

The game's theme was "JoJo's Bizarre Adventure", with the hidden subtheme that all the roles (stands) were named after They Might Be Giants (@tmbgareok) songs! A list of their powers, links to songs, and a recap of the game under the cut.

01) Mogis - 「Flo Wheeler」

02) TD260 - 「Working Undercover For The Man」

03) JGH27 - 「Good To Be Alive」

04) Raya - 「Stone Cold Coup D'Etat」

05) KK / Sahrimnir - 「Thinking Machine」

06) Spontaneous Combustion - 「The Statue Got Me High」

07) Leviwulf - 「Push Back The Hands」

08) DarkFalco - 「I Am Alone」

09) Deli064 - 「Doctor Worm」

10) Fedaykin - 「Letterbox」

11) Surge - 「I Am Alone」

12) Wikxen - 「Put Your Hand Inside The Puppet Head」

13) Minby - 「Where Your Eyes Don't Go」

14) Bel - 「(She Was A) Hotel Detective」

15) SnakeInABox - 「By The Time You Get This」

Bold roles were Jotunheim (Mafia), normal roles were Johnsburg (Town), and italicized roles were third parties. (Jotunheim is the realm of giants from Norse mythology! The mafia were, in fact, giants! And the town's job was to figure out who might be giants! And the two sides were Jo and Jo! JOKES!)

「Flo Wheeler」 was a town role with a power that was pretty dangerous to the user- if anyone happened to be watching or tracking when a kill took place at night, Mogis would look like they'd visited the target that night in addition to whoever actually did. It could potentially be used to catch a mafioso in a lie, but otherwise it was more of an obstacle for the town to overcome- a miller-type role.

♪ You can't do the time, therefore you didn't do the crime ♪

「Working Undercover For The Man」 was a third-party role working for the Speedwagon Foundation to perform a threat assessment. TD could win with the town, but could win and leave early if he could guess all the names or powers of every other stand in the game. He could scan a name every night, to help that along.

♪ Planning midnight raids / On our unsuspecting fans / While the roadies rig / The video surveillance van ♪

「Good To Be Alive」 was a spin on the usual town doctor role- normally, a doctor can target a player and prevent their death if they would die that night. But... JGH couldn't actually prevent deaths- just fake it. The dead would become ghosts, who couldn't vote and couldn't be killed but were still allowed to talk as if they were alive.

♪ Hello leg / such a shaky leg / Just barely more than decoration ♪

「Stone Cold Coup D'Etat」 was a third party with an unusual win condition. They had to recruit a certain number of people to a private side-chat- and then make sure all those people got killed. Plus, she could redirect anything that happened to her at night to her recruits. If the recruits figured out what she was doing and got rid of her, they'd get a boost to their power.

♪ The bark now commands the trees / The queen is overruled by the bees ♪

「Thinking Machine」 was a town role with a mysterious purpose that didn't seem to make much sense at first. Sah would get, every morning, a strange series of numbers and letters of uncertain origin. It was information, somehow, but how to use it?

♪ Tape has brightening arm connect (Wait, that didn't make sense.) / Self-paint lever itching does! (That made even less sense!) ♪

「The Statue Got Me High」 was a mafia power. As the song describes, the victim is enthralled by the monolith and forced to obey its commands, until their eventual death. That is, Spont could recruit a player to the mafia, but they'd die one night later- and if he wasn't careful, he could die and his recruit would flip back.

♪ And now it is your turn (your turn to hear the stone and then your turn to burn) / The stone, it calls to you (you can't refuse to do the things it tells you to) ♪

「Push Back The Hands」 was a passive ability that caused anything that would happen to Levi- a nightkill, an execution, some other power- to be delayed by one day, giving him some time to react. He'd be told who it was that targeted him, so going after him as mafia was risky.

♪ Screeching tires but never a collision / Endless day without a sunset provision ♪

「I Am Alone」 was a weird one. See, DarkFalco, who was mafia, didn't have a stand as such. She was the stand- and she was the stand of Surge, who was town. They were linked together in everything, meaning the mafia had to work to keep Surge alive on top of their own people. She could send messages to Surge at night to mess with him, though.

♪ Before you fire I should inform you / One of us is a double ♪

「Doctor Worm」 had no real special abilities. His ability was to be pretty good at playing the drums, a power that had absolutely no relevance in a game of Mafia.

♪ I'm not a real doctor, but I am a real worm I am an actual worm ♪

「Letterbox」 was a mafia ability that let Fedaykin pick another player, and offer that player a chance to deliver a private message to one other player of their choice. He could see the "secret" communications, though, and once per game he could edit the message before delivering it.

♪ I'll never know what you'll find when you open up your letter box tomorrow ♪

「Put Your Hand Inside The Puppet Head」 is a classically mafia ability, but in the hands of a town player: the ability to force another player to vote for another. Normally the manipulated person isn't allowed to say what happened, but there was no such restriction here- confusion's no good for the town.

♪ Memo to myself: do the dumb things i gotta do: Touch the puppet head ♪

「Where Your Eyes Don't Go」 let Minby pick someone else to watch him at night. If anyone visited him to target him with an ability, the person he designated would be told the names of those people. A nasty trap for the mafia, as long as Minby doesn't pick a mafioso to share the information with.

♪ Where your eyes don't go, a part of you is hovering / It's a nightmare that you'll never be discovering / You're free to come and go / Or talk like Kurtis Blow / But there's a pair of eyes in back of your head ♪

「(She Was A) Hotel Detective」 was a very powerful town role- Bel was the cop, and could scan another player's alignment at night, plus track or watch them. Except... not directly. She couldn't scan players- she could scan hotel rooms, and if other players didn't check into the hotel at night or give up their room numbers, her information was useless.

Here are the room numbers, in order: Levi (1) Snake (2) JGH (3) TD (4) Spont (5) Sah (6) Deli (7) Fed (8) Minby (9) Falco/Surge (10) Raya (11) Wikxen (12) Mogis (13).

(Oh, and Thinking Machine's codes were actually encoded versions of her results, and Sah would get a weaker version of her power if she ever died.)

♪ She's got her ear to the walls / And she's tappin' the calls / If you've got a secret, boy / Forget about it! ♪

「By The Time You Get This」 imbued its wielder with the incredible powers of... an estate lawyer! Which meant Snake could leave a will behind when he died, naming another player and casting a vote on them from beyond the grave the next day.

♪ By the time you get this note / We'll no longer be alive / But our skulls are smiling still / At the thought of things to come ♪

So! Here's how it all shook out.

Day 1: The first day is always kind of a tossup, since no one has any information yet, and everyone's just trying to verbally stir the pot. Levi soft-claims his role right out the gate, warning town not to try targeting him or else. Mogis is executed, casting a vote on himself to save the town the trouble of dealing with Flo Wheeler.

Night 1: Spont uses the statue to recruit Wikxen, at the same time that Wikxen forces Snake to vote for Levi. So, now the usually-scum power in the hands of town is in the hands of scum for real. Bel scans room 3, and learns that its occupant is innocent. Raya recruits DarkFalco, and accidentally recruits Surge alongside her, to her surprise. JGH tries protecting Levi, to test if his claim was a bluff.

Day 2: Levi tries to push JGH on the basis of having targeted him last night, but everyone agrees to wait and see if Levi actually dies first. Votes circle around Wikxen and Raya for suspicious-seeming defensiveness on Day 1, and ultimately, when it seems like Wikxen's about to be executed, a small group of players flip their votes at the last minute and vote Raya out while she's asleep and can't defend herself. Rude! She was poised to win the game for herself and the town, since she'd convinced Falco that the mafia would benefit somehow if they were all recruited.

Night 2: The mafia kills Minby- and Minby opts to tell have Fed watch him, wasting his power. Lucky for town, though, Bel happens to scan room 8, confirming Fed is mafia since he volunteered his room number. Wikxen's coat contains a furnace where there used to be a guy.

Day 3: Wikxen forced Snake to vote for J, making him look bad- but Sah begins sharing his bizarre results from Thinking Machine, and Bel confirms that they're a log of her detective power. Then she points out that Fed is mafia, and the town falls in line behind the accusation with Sah to confirm.

Night 3: Spont uses the statue to recruit Bel, to keep any more problematic scans from ruining them. Bel, before being recruited, scans room 10, though- and now the town knows there's something funky with Falco and Surge, because Sah gets the results and knows what they mean. Due to their mismatched alignments, though, the encoded version is still misleading, so there's wiggle room. TD scans Spont and learns his role name.

Day 4: Spont concocts a daring scheme. He has Bel lie and claim to have received an incriminating result on him- so that Bel will be caught in said lie when Sah produces his own results. The plan is to frame Bel, who's a dead girl walking anyway, and clear Spont's name going forward. But the town talks themselves into explaining away the contradiction- even when TD reveals Spont's stand name, and Spont denies it outright and claims 「Combustible Head」, a fake vigilante (town nightkiller) role instead, the town explains away that, too. After a few more people claim, TD260 has completed his mission- his correct guess wins him the game and he leaves. Spont cleverly excuses himself by claiming that TD lied about his role to get him to claim his "real" one. Afterwards, the town ends up executing Deli064 instead, for some reason- poor Doctor Worm!

Night 4: The evidence vanishes from Bel's charred and smoking chair- because JGH tries to protect her at the same time the mafia are killing him! Bel is a ghost now, and the town never finds out her alignment.

Day 5: Bel not dying poses a problem for the mafia, because Spont was supposed to prove his own innocence by pretending to kill her! The mafia tries to misdirect by having Bel lie again, claiming to scan room 10 when she actually scanned room 6, Sah. Ultimately, though, the town is able to coordinate behind killing Surge and Falco, which- because they're linked- is a compromise option that both parties are happy with (when perhaps they shouldn't be).

Night 5: Since Bel is technically dead, Spont recruits again, grabbing Sah and removing the threat of scans entirely. If he'd recruited Snake instead, they'd have won on the spot, since only his will-vote prevented them from winning instantly due to outnumbering the town. We move on to a somewhat redundant...

Day 6: It's now down to five players- Spont, Sah, and Bel vs Levi and Snake. The mafia technically outnumber the town, but Bel's vote doesn't count, and Sah's going to burn the next night- so the town can still win by forcing a tie and then using Snake's By The Time You Get This power to place a vote on Spont. But that's if they can figure it out and get on the same page, and... they don't. There's no way there could be three mafia still alive, so the mafia are able to sow total confusion and ultimately get the town all voting for Bel... who's a ghost, and can't vote or be executed, which the town doesn't know because JGH died before he could fully explain. The execution defaults to Snake, and the mafia win the game.

[blitzturtles]

Title: It Starts Like This, Ch. 1/?

Rating: Teen and Up

Fandom: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind

Pairing(s): BruAbba, Platonic Bucci Gang

Summary: Then shit hits the fan.

Or, more accurately, Bucciarati hits the floor.

Giorno bolts forward, but there’s an entire, solid oak desk blocking his path. Gold Experience doesn’t even reach Bucciarati in time. His head hits the ground with a sickening crack, and he’s disturbingly limp.

Notes: Turns out being dead has a bit of a long term effect. Who would have thought?

This fic got away from me, so I'm breaking it down by character interaction (sort of). This is Giorno's part of this very Bucci-centric fic.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Disclaimer: I don't have a diagnosis of epilepsy, but I do have auras/various symptoms and am being tested. Also, I used 'grand mal' here, but it's an outdated term I only picked for the timing of the fic. They're now known as tonic-clonic seizures.

Unrelated: My dog typed the number ‘4’ on the google doc I was writing this on. Obviously it’s cursed. Sorry Bucci.

-

Giorno is midsentence when he notices Bucciarati’s attention beginning to wander. He watches a moment, letting his own words trail off into silence, as Bruno seems to fixate on something in his own head.

It's not entirely out of character, really. Bucciarati’s often juggling too many thoughts at once, and there are times that his mind will latch on to one in particular and get carried away. He doesn't mean it to be insulting, and Giorno doesn't take it that way.

Only a handful of seconds more pass before Bucciarati’s attention is turned back toward him. He blinks his eyes, clearing his mind, before speaking,

"Apologies, what was it you were saying?"

Giorno gives a slight smile and picks up as though nothing had happened at all.

-

The next time it happens, something feels off. Giorno doesn't know what. Bucciarati’s eyes drift off, almost upward. Then, rather abruptly, Sticky Fingers is there, reaching out to their user. Their movements freeze abruptly. The stillness is disturbing. Unnatural. Something tells Giorno that Bucciarati isn't lost in his thoughts.

He opens his mouth to try and say something, to right the wrongness of the air around them, but the door to his office creaks open.

Abbacchio looks between the two, from Bucciarati to Giorno. His eyes linger on Sticky Fingers a moment. The stand doesn’t so much as glance at their new companion. They don't move at all.

All Giorno can think is /wrong, wrong, wrong/. He feels sick. Without his realizing, Gold Experience has manifested behind him, fingers reaching forward.

All at once he can see the moment when Bucciarati begins to /exist/ again. His eyes still don't focus on Giorno. In fact, he looks right past him, but so does Abbacchio.

It's then that Giorno sees something settle in Abbacchio's eyes. Recognition of the problem. Or what he thinks is the problem. He nods to Gold Experience, and Giorno looks behind himself to see his stand.

Realization kicks in. Abbacchio thinks Bucciarati’s stillness-- the presence of his stand-- were justified things. Normal reactions to their boss’ stand being present.

Both are thinking: there’s a threat, and Giorno can’t help thinking that they aren’t wrong.

The conversation steers out of his control too quickly for him to keep up with. They’re both concerned about him and why his stand is out and not with what is truly wrong.

-

The next time it happens, Narancia is there. Bucciarati’s own words trail off. His fingers twitch in the air, a meaningless gesture that screams wrong, bad, wrong in Giorno’s mind.

He remembers, once, hearing Bucciarati explain that things can be unzipped and rezipped in a way that isn’t quite right. That sometimes, Bucciarati is in a rush or under too much pressure to be as precise as he would like.

He also remembers hearing of stands being incompatible with their users, but Bucciarati and Sticky Fingers work seamlessly. They move as one. Why now?

It makes him sick to think about, and he can see that same queasiness on Narancia’s features.

There’s something wrong, and Giorno doesn’t know if he can fix this with Gold Experience. He doesn’t know if he won’t just make it worse. Maybe Bucciarati needs time. Maybe his body will sort this out on its own.

Or maybe it won’t, some dark part of him whispers.

“You see it too?” Narancia asks in a whisper.

Giorno nods. Before he can speak, Narancia continues, “It’s happening more often.”

Those words feel like a knife slipped between his ribs. Before he can ask Narancia more, Bucciarati is rubbing at his eyes and making a confused sound in the back of his throat. All of Giorno’s attention is on him then, but he doesn’t know what to do.

Bucciarati more or less dismisses himself from the room after a few, confusing minutes of conversation.

“I must be tired,” Bucciarati had said.

Narancia and Giorno can only look at the door he leaves through in a helpless sort of uncertainty.

-

Giorno wants to berate himself the next time it happens, because the next time it happens is in the middle of a fight with two enemy stands, and Bucciarati is standing there, eyes drawn to the sky, and vulnerable. Sticky Fingers is no better. Giorno suspects that, if they had eyes, they would be looking in the same direction.

He doesn’t have time to panic or let the sensation of wrongness flood through him. The enemy stand sees the opening for what it is and rushes right for Sticky Fingers with an aim of demolishing stand and user alike.

Bucciarati turns his head with unfocused eyes, blinks at the thing rushing nearly right at him-- only inches off really, Sticky Fingers is too close. The enemy stand hesitates a moment, suddenly anticipating an attack, but Bucciarati only makes an odd sound in the back of his throat. His eyes draw unnaturally toward his right, where absolutely nothing of concern is waiting for him.

Giorno can only be grateful for the enemy’s hesitation. He takes advantage of it with a ruthlessness that is driven by fear more than anything.

Bucciarati doesn’t even turn his head when the enemy screams out with his last breath.

Everyone else chooses that moment to catch up to them, and the fussing is natural for the situation: the one where the two of them had been ambushed, and not the one where Bucciarati had stopped responding to his surroundings entirely.

-

Giorno tries to explain it to Abbacchio, but the man waves a hand, reminds him that Bucciarati has a lot on his plate at any given time. Lapses and distractions were bound to happen. Besides, they couldn’t ever be sure where Bucciarati’s attention was. With Sticky Fingers, he could reach beyond what they were used to.

Giorno finds no comfort in the reassurances, but he nods anyways.

-

Then shit hits the fan.

Or, more accurately, Bucciarati hits the floor.

Giorno bolts forward, but there’s an entire, solid oak desk blocking his path. Gold Experience doesn’t even reach Bucciarati in time. His head hits the ground with a sickening crack, and he’s disturbingly limp for a solid second or two before his whole body goes rigid.

Not one of their little group knows how to respond, all looking on in horror when Bucciarati begins to shake.

It’s Abbacchio that regains his composure first. He’s also the only one that has a clue on what to do, it seems, considering he’s rolling Bucciarati on his side before anyone else has managed to put their jaw back into its proper place.

“They’re seizures,” Abbacchio says once Giorno regains enough of his composure to crouch in front of them. Abbacchio keeps one hand on Bucciarati’s bicep, keeping him on his side without holding him down. He motions for Giorno to take over so he can shrug out of his coat.

“I know,” Giorno doesn’t think that could be any more obvious right now. He frets, for a moment, over how much pressure to put on Bucciarati, but Abbacchio doesn’t correct him.

“No, they’re seizures, Giorno. All of them. I should have realized,” Abbacchio balls his coat up and tucks it under Bucciarati’s head.

Oh.

Oh.

And, just like that, it all clicks into place. Giorno feels sick, but Abbacchio takes over holding Bucciarati on his side.

There’s a gargling sound that makes Mista reach forward, but Abbacchio stops him.

“He’s choking!”

Giorno glances back at Mista and realizes, not for the first time, that he isn’t the only one terrified by all of this.

“That’s why I have him like this, just- wait. Fuck, how long has it been?” Abbacchio has to push down his own irritation at himself for not thinking about that before, but he’s barely managing to keep his own composure.

“Thirty seconds, I think,” Trish speaks up.

“Okay, that’s good. That’s fine,” Abbacchio answers with what is meant to be a reassuring nod, but no one looks all that reassured.

There’s something horribly unsettling about the most put together of them being on the floor, with blood and spit mixing together on the ground. Giorno doesn’t actually know how much of the blood is from Bruno’s mouth versus his head, but it all looks like too much. He wants to fix it. He can fix it, but he doesn’t know if that’s a good idea while Bucciarati’s actively seizing. Hell, he doesn’t know if it’s a good idea afterwards either. It’ll hurt, and what if that just makes it worse?

An eternity seems to pass, with Giorno going back and forth with himself, and everyone else being equally tense until Bucciarati slows into what almost looks more like an occasional kick of his feet. Even that stops after another ten seconds.

All together the whole thing takes two minutes and thirteen seconds according to Trish. Abbacchio reassures them that it’s fine. That’s not too long in the grand scheme of things. When he was still a cop, he was trained to call for medical services after five minutes.

Still, Bucciarati is quiet and motionless outside of what Giorno thinks might be his attempts to swallow what’s in his mouth. Abbacchio uses part of his coat to wipe the spittle away while he speaks softly to the man.

“Oh, he…” Trish trails off, quickly removing the outer layer of her skirt. She drapes it over Bruno’s middle.

Abbacchio glances over at the same time as Giorno does, “It’s okay. That’s normal.”

Giorno takes a second to register the same thing that Abbacchio had and instantly knows that Bucciarati would be grateful for Trish’s consideration. Fugo and Narancia process a moment later and both frown. It’s not that they’re judging Bruno for something he can’t help. It’s that he couldn’t help himself in the first place. It’s another thing that makes it all so much more real. If Mista processes it at all, he doesn’t say anything.

Fugo moves to reach out, to touch Bucciarati, but Abbacchio catches his hand. Gentle. “Give him another minute. If we work him up too much…” He doesn’t want to continue that thought. Doesn’t want to accidentally infer that they might be responsible for the next seizure or this one. Or any of those previous. But the reality is that Bucciarati’s brain is dealing with enough. Overstimulating him is too much of a risk.

“Should we…?” Mista asks, already backing up a bit.

“No, we just don’t want to crowd him,” Abbacchio rubs along Bucciarati’s arm in the meantime. He continues his quiet reassurances until Narancia startles.

“His eyes!”

Abbacchio glances up at Bucciarati’s face, half expecting to see another seizure beginning to take hold, but he’s relieved to find Bucciarati looking around sluggishly instead. “Welcome back,” he says gently, “You’re okay now- woah, you need to stay put. Good, yeah, like that. You’re alright. We have you. No one is attacking us.”

“W-where?”

“Giorno’s office,” Abbacchio answers easily. He wipes at Bucciarati’s mouth again. There’s definitely blood coming from either his cheek or his tongue. “You owe me a new coat.”

Bucciarati hums and closes his eyes.

“You really had no clue, did you?” Abbacchio keeps rubbing along Bucciarati’s arm. Something comforting but not all together overwhelming. “That’s fine. We can take care of this.” He catches Bucciarati’s hand when it darts out. He checks Bucciarati’s eyes again and sees there’s a muted alarm to them. “You’re alright. You’re just coming back to us from a seizure, but you’re doing good-- great.” He looks to the rest of their little crew when Bucciarati’s eyes slide shut again, “He’s probably going to cycle through this a couple of times, and he’s going to be very tired. He needs to rest. Those other seizures-- they tire you out, but this…” He lets them infer the level of exhaustion they should be anticipating. Abbacchio certainly wouldn’t expect anything from Bucciarati after what was possibly his first grand mal.

It takes time, but they get Bucciarati into bed. Abbacchio is gentle with removing Bucciarati’s clips and taking apart his braid. He doesn’t think the added tension will help. He waits until the kids scatter to start undressing him.

Sticky Fingers appears midway through, and they look like they’ve been through the ringer.

“He’s going to be okay,” Abbacchio tells them. He calls to Moody Blues, thinks maybe her presence will be reassuring. He isn’t surprised when stand leans upon stand. He hopes the comforting gesture translates to Bucciarati without adding unnecessary strain.

He has Bucciarati tucked in by the time the kids get back. He leaves Bucciarati in a new pair of briefs rather than attempting to fully redress him. His knowledge on seizures isn’t the best, but he knows to expect soreness. Getting Bucciarati dressed again simply doesn’t seemed to be worth it in Abbacchio’s mind. The kids aren’t going to go looking under the blankets anyways.

He doesn’t notice Sticky Fingers getting a hold of Bucciarati’s head until there’s already a zipper in place. It doesn’t seem to bother him, so Abbacchio shrugs and let’s the stand take care of their user. Everyone had heard the sound of Bucciarati’s head hitting the floor; no doubt there’s a nasty cut under there. Stick Fingers’ zipper will keep the bleeding to a minimum until they all feel a little more comfortable poking at Bucciarati again.

“Is there anything else we can do?” Giorno asks, when they all stand there practically wringing their hands from anxiety. Each undoubtedly preferring that it was themselves in Bucciarati’s position.

“Not right now,” Abbacchio says, in that same gentle tone from earlier. His own nerves are shot, but he knows they’re scared. They want to help. He gets that, and being snappish and potentially starting an argument isn’t going to do anything for Bucciarati’s overworked system.

Giorno hesitates, but he nods. He wants to heal the problem away, but there’s more to this than he understands. He thinks it might be a mistake to try and intervene now, so he gently tugs Mista toward the door. Mista tugs on Narancia, and Narancia tries to pull Fugo along.

“Narancia,” Giorno calls when the other opens his mouth. “Let’s go.” He puts as much authority into his tone as he can manage. Truthfully, he feels too helpless to feel like their leader.

Narancia grumbles something under his breath but allows himself to be tugged along. Giorno closes the door behind them.

[doorbloggr]

Sunday 22/8/21 - Media Recommendations #16: Top 3's of Right Now

In terms of new media to recommend this week, there is none. So this week I'm gonna do a bit of a recap/best of media thing. From the categories of Music, Anime, and Videogames, I'm gonna list my top 3 of right now.

What do I mean by Top 3 of Right Now? Well, personal taste in consumable media is very malleable and subject to change over time. So today, I'm gonna quickly highlight what I can declare my Top 3 Favourite Songs, Anime Series, and Videogames are, as the Mitchell of August the 22nd, 2021.

Some of these things I'm recommending I will have discussed in a previous Media Recommendations post, but my discussion of each of the things I talk about today will be very short. So without further ado, let's start with music.

● Top 3 Favourite Songs

▪︎3rd: Caramelldansen - Caramella Girls

I can't really explain in words why I like this song so much, but it's just really good. I am not fluent speaker of Swedish, so I do not understand much of anything in the lyrics, but that's the magic of good music, you don't have to understand. If a song bops hard enough, the lyrics can be complete nonsense and still make worldwide charts even outside their native tongue. Caramelldansen also manages to capture that quintessential excitable weaboo nerd energy that I've come to accept is definitely part of my being.

This spot was the hardest to place out of any other placing in this post. There was about 6 songs I could declare as being my 3rd favourite song of all time, but at the very second I'm writing this, midnight on Sunday, I decided that Caramelldansen is my third favourite song.

▪︎2nd: Foolish Heart - Nyanners

One thing that will always make me enjoy a song is a funky beat. Music that just pumps and jams. Foolish Heart is fun to groove to and there's not much more to it. I also have a soft spot for bitter-sweet lovesongs, and there aren't many songs I know that are as bitter about the sweetness of love than this. I follow the artist who does this song on many of her socials and I was a fan of it the second it came out, and it will probably stay in my regular rotation for a long time.

Honourable Mentions:

Old 45s - Chromeo

A Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton

Mr Blue Sky - ELO

Mansion Party - Ninja Sex Party

Roundabout - Yes

▪︎1st: I Want You - Savage Garden

I had actually heard this song a bit when I was much younger, but it was only recently I became obsessed with it. It is the song used in the closing credits during JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Part 4, and I instantly fell in love with it. It's just so funky and goes so damn hard. It's a soft song, but also very powerful. The vocals are so smooth and the instruments are so sexy. It's been my favourite song for many years in a row now, and I think it's gonna keep that number 1 spot for a while longer yet.

● Top 3 Favourite Anime Series

▪︎3rd: Darling in the Franxx

Darling in the Franxx just vibed with me on an emotional level. My very soul was touched by how much love this anime exudes. Studio Trigger are known foremost for their intense action and over the top characters, and sure this anime has those in spades. For someone who hasn't watched it, it may appear to be a cosmic mecha anime, but in fact, it is a romance story first. I can't really explain it well, but Darling in the Franxx just punches you right in the soul with how much emotion there is. It is a beautiful anime.

▪︎2nd: Food Wars - Shokugeki no Soma

There's just something fun about rooting for a snarky protagonist who is overconfident. Especially when, most of the time, they are precisely big enough for their boots. Food Wars is a complete 3 course dinner that fills many different niches of anime. It's a lesson in many different cultures, it is food porn, it's a battle shonen, it even has light romance, but never lets that take centre stage over the journey of the protagonists. I'm admittedly a lover of tasteful fanservice here and there, and Food Wars delivers just the right amount of echi to entertain those into it, but no more than necessary. Food Wars is just... a lot. And it's great.

Honourable Mentions:

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Kono Subarashii Sekai ni Shukufuku o!

Dagashi Kashi

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime

Log Horizon

▪︎1st: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood

FMA is just such a full package. It has a fun and interesting cast of characters. A complex and vast setting that is neither overexplained nor underexplained. A cast of villains that are all unique and the perfect balance of sympathetic to hateable. And most importantly, it does not outstay its welcome. I was very much considering putting JoJo's Bizarre Adventure up here, but the issue is that like, many other series, a series can be too long. A good anime has to be long enough to sink your teeth into, but if drags on for too long, it can become exhausting. FMA spends the perfect amount of time building up the plot and ends where it should. Edward and Alphonse Elric are the perfect dynamic duo, and every character has such fun designs and personalities. I could blab on for ages on why I love Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood, and I have in a previous post. So go search that up in my pinned post if you want a longer breakdown. It is an anime MUST WATCH.

●Top 3 Videogames

▪︎3rd: Super Smash Bros Ultimate

The very idea of Super Smash Bros is something that appeals to gamers everywhere. A suite of characters from all over gaming that are all playable in one huge game. You get to play that classic "my favourite character could kick your favourite character's butt" in real time. I'm not a big fighting game guy, but Smash has a very accessible jumping off point, simple controls and a system of combat that's only really as deep as you need it to be. Smash Bros is also a very important game to me socially, since I owe all my current closest friends to meetings I had interacting with the competitive scene. I used to be really into competitive Smash too, and Smash Ultimate in particular had a fairly balanced cast, in that if you were committed enough, you could dominate with any character. But even if I've grown exhausted with that scene, and only ever play the game casually now, I owe a lot to this series.

▪︎2nd: Animal Crossing New Horizons

As of right now, Animal Crossing is not a game I play.... at all. But for the few months after the game released, ACNH was a religious dedication. I'm in a pretty shitty place these days. Can't see friends, can't even go to work, the world is falling apart as our leaders can't get Covid under control. But while I was playing ACNH, it brought structure and purpose back into my life for a while. I had villagers depending on me, museum collections to complete, flowers to breed, an island to transform into my vision of a nice place to live. It was nice. This number 2 spot might be taken by a different game in the future, but this year, Animal Crossing New Horizons was a very important game for me.

Honourable Mentions:

The Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess

Pikmin 3

Jackbox Party Pack (the whole series)

Shovel Knight Treasure Trove

Pokémon Soul Silver

▪︎ 1st: The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild

Despite Zelda being a huge part of my identity, I didn't actually get into the series until my mid teens. By that point, most of the later games were very formulaic and linear. And sure that can make for a very compelling story and experience, but BotW just threw that idea out the window. Breath of the Wild is a game you can just get lost in. Spend an hour just dicking around in the middle of nowhere and it's a blast just to move around. The world is tranquil, and also exciting. The game is gorgeous and fun to play and there's just too much to talk about. I've played the game from start to finish at various levels of completion about 5 times now, (one playthrough being a 2 hourish speedrun to the final boss) and every playthrough I found new locations, puzzles, interactions that I never encountered before. It's a game that just matched my being perfectly and I doubt a game will leave an impact like that for many years to come.

[weasley-gal]

Cindy’s Top Ten Movies of 2019!

Ahhh...2019. In the interest of building suspense, I could be all cagey about this countdown, but let's face it: For me, 2019 was the Year of Rocketman. As lousy as the real-world year was, it was salvaged by Rocketman. Someone suggested in jest (maybe?) that Rocketman should be numbers one through ten on my year-end list, and that would be fair enough; HOWEVER...I did like some other movies this year, so I'm gonna give you--yes YOU, dear reader(s)--ten of my favorites. Just know in your hearts that the other nine fall way behind number one. Way, WAY behind.

The usual disclaimers:

A movie's position on my year-end list does not necessarily reflect its original Weasley score. Some films age well, bear up, and even improve under repeat viewings. Some...well...some do not. Also, I live in a rinky-dink town, so great movies like JoJo Rabbit and 1917--pictures that almost certainly would have found spots here or gotten very close--have not made themselves available to me yet. This is disappointing, but unsurprising. I'd hung my entire holiday break on the prospect of seeing 1917, only to discover on Christmas Day that its Christmas opening was limited release, and I have to wait until January 10th. Humbug. Finally, I think three or four of these movies already made Variety's "worst of" list for 2019, so kindly do not be too shocked when I diverge from The Serious Critics (TM).  

Without further ado, presenting my top ten films of 2019:

TEN

"The most important qualification for any leader is not wanting to be leader."

THE TWO POPES

2019 threw me a nice surprise on its way out the celestial door, with the Netflix original The Two Popes. It's a deliberate, thoughtful, and timely film carried by a pair of the year's most exquisite performances: Jonathan Pryce as Pope Francis and Anthony Hopkins as Pope Benedict XVI. While the subject matter is weighty, this movie is an absolute delight.

NINE

"I'm glad I'm a revelation and not a disappointment."

DOWNTON ABBEY

This big-screen adaptation of the popular television series Downton Abbey, is, in fact, something of a revelation. A totally new story in the familiar and much-loved setting, with just the right amount of fan service, it is a joyful exercise that hits nearly every note perfectly. Making its case for the big screen are breathtaking costumes and production design...and Mr. Barrow finally seeing a bit of happiness doesn't hurt, either.

EIGHT

"We're gonna bury Ferrari at Le Mans."

FORD V FERRARI

At a glance, Ford v Ferrari might seem like a film appealing exclusively to car enthusiasts; however, that assumption does a great disservice to both the film and the viewer. Ford v Ferrari is an inspiring story about people. It's a nail-biter from start to finish, it has heart to spare, and it's fronted by great turns from Matt Damon and Christian Bale. Beautifully filmed race action makes this one to see on the biggest screen you can find.

SEVEN

"It always fits...eventually."

SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE

Technically, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is a last-year movie, but for me it's a this-year movie, and--despite its being the very first film I saw way back in January, 2019--it's far too great to leave off my best-of list. A Marvel property in the hands of Sony, Spider-Verse is smart, funny, touching, and better than the entire Avengers catalog combined.  

SIX

"This is a twisted web, and we are not finished untangling it, not yet."

KNIVES OUT

Knives Out is a great piece of original cinema crafted from artful twists, clever humor, and terrific performances, layered with a gorgeous Gothic setting and an ominous score. Written and directed by Rian Johnson, this perfect murder mystery is a huge creative and financial win for the cinema, and I recommend it without hesitation or qualification.

FIVE

"This is the worst...and best...and most terrible...excellent thing that's ever happened to me!"

THE KID WHO WOULD BE KING

Hands up if you missed the Kid Who Would Be King at your local cinema? Yeah, I see you, ALL of you. The good news is that one of the year's most wonderful pictures is now available for streaming and download, and you shouldn't make the same mistake twice. The Kid Who Would Be King is a charming movie, great fun for people of all ages. Truly one of the year's best.

FOUR

"Si vis pacem, para bellum."

JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 3 — PARABELLUM

The John Wick franchise has become quite the phenomenon, and deservedly so. Continually upping the action ante in Fast-and-Furious-like fashion, these movies are so much more than just your garden-variety shoot 'em ups and beat 'em ups. John Wick is the role Keanu Reeves was born to play, and Parabellum raises the stakes for Wick while doubling down on masterful fight choreography and stunning cinematography. Here's to many more adventures for John Wick!

THREE

"Bruce is the direct line to all that's true in this world!"

BLINDED BY THE LIGHT

Blinded by the Light is another terrific picture that didn't exactly set the box office on fire. Inspired by the true story of one Springsteen superfan, and built on the Boss's epic catalog, it's a hopeful tale about overcoming prejudice and the limitations set for us by ourselves and by others, one of the year's most inspiring movies.

TWO

"Tell the truth to everyone, whenever you can."

YESTERDAY

Yesterday is yet another of 2019's under-appreciated gems, a beautiful, unique movie fashioned around the timeless music of the Beatles. Himesh Patel is a delight in the lead, and--while the premise requires suspension of disbelief--Yesterday is a charming picture that captivates with its "what ifs?" as well as its iconic soundtrack and enchanting cast.

ONE

"You were never ordinary."

ROCKETMAN

My number one movie of the year, and of the decade, was set on May 31st, when I saw Rocketman for the first time. I saw the movie at least twice a week as long as it was at my local cinema. I've watched at least part of it every day since it became available for home viewing. Outside of a week or so around each of the wonderful concerts I saw this summer, I've listened to nothing but the Rocketman soundtrack since the end of May. My phone and all my desktops have Rocketman wallpapers. I've joked (hmm?) that I only speak Rocketman now. The truth is, I'm not interested in speaking anything else. Pre-Rocketman, it had been a decade since a new movie made its way into my all-time top ten. Then there was Rocketman. Pre-Rocketman, my favorite acting performance hadn't changed since 1993. Then there was Taron Egerton's astonishing turn as Elton John. Pre-Rocketman, I was finding reasons to stay away from the movies. Then there was Dexter Fletcher showing us the beauty of real imagination. Rocketman is more than just a well-crafted film that reflects on an iconic artist's inspiring life. It is a film that uses Elton John's art to tell his story in fantastic, creative fashion. It is a film that uses exquisite detail in its styling and costumes to further its vision. It is a film that draws something sparkling and new out of a classic discography. It is a film that is not bound by dull, linear timelines or small minds. It is a film that surrounds a performance for the ages with others that bear it up. It is a film that shows, however dark the times, you will find the light. In doing all these things, it is a film that is saving lives. Rocketman is a film that is, in every way, magnificent. Thank you, Dexter Fletcher and company, for giving us this beautiful movie. Whatever the critics say and whoever wins the prizes as Awards Season bears down upon us, nobody has done anything more valuable this cinema year.

A few Honorable (and Dis-Honorable) Mentions:

While Taron Egerton deserves all the awards, all the time, for his work in Rocketman, there were some other performances this year that also gave me life:

Jamie Bell (Rocketman): Without Bell's Bernie Taupin as his stalwart cornerstone, Egerton's Elton could not have flown. It's a lovely, understated performance that has been grossly underappreciated.

Tom Holland (Marvel Cinematic Universe): Holland is a real gem, a standout who consistently steals the show from bigger names who get weightier work in the MCU. No matter how good, bad, or painfully bloated the movie, Holland is an absolute delight.

Renee Zellweger (Judy): Who knew it was even possible for me to stop hating Renee Zellweger? Well played, 2019.

Rebecca Ferguson (The Kid Who Would Be King/Doctor Sleep): There was little I enjoyed more this year than watching Ferguson chew her way through this pair of pictures. Oh, and if I start walking around wearing a hat, don't ask, m-kay?

Chris Evans (Knives Out): God, I love seeing Chris Evans do *anything* besides Captain America. Bonus points if he gets to be funny. He's really funny, despite his obscenely gorgeous mug.

John Boyega/Oscar Isaac (Star Wars: Episode IX — The Rise of Skywalker): These two, individually and together, draw joy out of what's otherwise a fairly mundane exercise. If Finn and Poe somehow jumped to another saga in the Star Wars universe, I wouldn't complain.

The Cast of Jumanji: The Next Level: Top to bottom, a perfectly cast film, and a lesson in how the right actors can elevate any property.

As a matter of interest, if you watch the Irishman and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood back to back, you can effectively calculate how many hours you'll wish you had back when you're on your deathbed.

I would like a word with Gary Oldman's and Sebastian Stan's agents, please.

Cats: Make. It. Stop. Please, just...make it stop.

As this most challenging year winds to a close, I wanted to offer a sincere thank you to everyone who takes the time to read my reviews, and especially those who engage on any of our various platforms. Special thanks to Daniel for allowing me to be a part of his great page, and for tolerating my unceasing randomness. (Hotel Transylvania 4 in 2021, my friend!) I take no one's support for granted, and I’m ever grateful for you all. I wish our readers many blessings as this festive season comes to a close and we roll into 2020. See you at the movies!

[letterboxd]

Most Picture 2020.

In which we award the Most Picture Oscar to the most-rewatched of the 2020 Best Picture nominees, and track down the Letterboxd member who most obsessively rewatched the Most Obsessively Rewatched Film in our 2019 Year in Review—Avengers: Endgame—to ask “Why?”.

Once again, we dive into the data on the Oscar Best Picture nominees to name not the Best Picture (respect to Parasite!), but what is the Most Picture, as in, which of the nine 2020 finalists was rewatched the most by Letterboxd members?

And the 2020 “Most” Picture Award goes to… Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

Letterboxd member Movie15 has the distinction of having logged Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood the most—a whopping 26 times since its August release, and though he hasn’t reviewed it on Letterboxd, we’ve enjoyed his quest to see Tarantino’s latest in as many Los Angeles movie theaters as possible, on 35mm as often as he can.

Bong Joon-ho’s multi-Academy-Award-winning masterpiece, Parasite, comes next, just 859 views behind—Khoi is the Letterboxd member who has most obsessively rewatched the film to date, with eleven recorded watches. Third place (and almost 14,000 views behind the two leaders) goes to Joker, watched the most (seventeen times) by Kenai Fleck, a hard-core Batman fan.

In fourth place, Little Women. Micah Simmons has logged the film fourteen times (but may in fact be pushing 20 views). On the thirteenth view, “I have nothing to add, except for mentioning a shot right before the scene where Amy does *the thing* to Jo, and there’s a crazy shot that foreshadows *the thing* so well and fuck this movie is smart.” Then come Marriage Story, The Irishman, 1917, Jojo Rabbit and Ford v. Ferrari in that order.

The official Letterboxd Most Picture list reveals the combined number of watches for all members with two or more entries for these films.

The Rewatches We Logged Along the Way

Avengers: Endgame was the Most Obsessively Rewatched Film of 2019 in our Year in Review, which means it had the highest number of Letterboxd members logging it five or more times in their diaries.

Member Max Joseph has the distinction of having logged Avengers: Endgame more times than any other. When we told him we needed to know why, he replied: “I’d be honored to talk about my love for Avengers Endgame!” Spoilers follow in this Q&A with Max (though at this point if you haven’t seen Avengers: Endgame it’s probably only because Max has watched it for you). This interview was conducted prior to the 2020 Academy Awards.

How many times do you think you have seen Avengers: Endgame? Max Joseph: Well, I’ve logged it 26 times as of today. But I also think there are a good three or four watches I didn’t log because I occasionally put it on before bed, and just never logged it. So I’d say my final answer is 29, but that honestly may be lowballing it. I have a feeling that by the time the Oscars roll around, it’ll probably be at 30. I always watch every single film, documentary and short nominated for the Oscars, and thankfully, Endgame was nominated!

What’s your reaction to the news that you are the member who has logged it the most? Kind of shocked! I really didn’t even realize how many times I watched it until you told me! I watch Avengers: Endgame because it brings me happiness, and I love the adventure! When it finally came out on Blu-ray and digital, there were a few times I would watch it multiple times in one day. Then I’d throw something else on, then get upset that I wasn’t watching Avengers. So maybe it isn’t as shocking as I had thought!

What keeps you coming back to it? I love all genres of film. Take this season for example. I love the more meaty and dramatic films like Parasite, 1917, Waves, Queen & Slim. I love comedies like Jojo Rabbit and Booksmart. Animation like Toy Story 4, Frozen II and Klaus.

But, you give me someone flying, turning invisible, super speed… that’s where I live. Superhero movies are just my favorites, and I think the reason I keep coming back to Avengers: Endgame is because besides being a superhero movie—which I just naturally gravitate towards—in Endgame, I get a little bit of every genre and mood. I also like that it’s split up into three acts, and each act gives me what I want in a superhero movie:

Act one is the slow burn, which we never really got in the MCU up to this point. It’s the aftermath of Avengers: Infinity War, and them dealing with the implications and the new normal of the universe. And this gives a chance for the story to build, and our actors to show off, especially Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans and Scarlett Johansson. It gives something new to the fans of the franchise and is one of the biggest reasons I keep coming back for more.

Act two is the “time heist” and it is a pure love letter to the fans of the franchise. They revisit some of the best parts of our MCU journey over the last eleven years and mess with it. Is it fan service? Absolutely! But I think they did it right.

Act three is the final battle at the now-destroyed Avengers headquarters. And this was where the slow burn pays off. It is what we’ve all been waiting for since 2008. The grand finale. The culmination of eleven years and 22 films. We are gifted my favorite battle I’ve ever seen, bone-chilling and heartbreaking moments, as well as the most cathartic endings to the most epic story I’ve ever had the privilege to watch, nearly 30 times over.

What have you noticed with each rewatch? Two things: firstly, how unbelievable the visual effects are. I may be alone in this, but I think Marvel has the best visual effects on the planet. By miles. And rewatching this makes me appreciate how much time and dedication was put into making this. So much happened behind the scenes, that I personally don’t really think about while watching it. But after 26 views, I start to think about green screens, the motion capturing, all of those elements, it’s insane! Go on YouTube and just check out all of that work they did visually. It’s beautiful.

Secondly, how brilliant Robert Downey Jr. is. I’ve been saying it for years, but RDJ was born to play Tony Stark. Has he had many other brilliant performances throughout his career? Absolutely. But I think that if he was not cast as Iron Man, this franchise wouldn’t have turned out the way it did. He is the heart of the MCU. And he has so many brilliant moments throughout the film, meets his dad during the “time heist”, the realization of “the one”, even the way he interacts with his daughter, Morgan. It’s truly exceptional work. I think it’s his best performance as Stark.

What is the single greatest scene in the film? Oy, well that’s near impossible. A few standouts are Cap wielding Mjölnir, the scene with Tony and his dad, the reveal of Professor Hulk, thicc Thor, Cap vs. Cap, “the snap”. There are so many! But I think the popular answer is also the greatest, and that is when our Avengers return.

As soon as I heard Sam Wilson’s (Falcon) voice, I lost my mind. And they brilliantly added “On your left” right before all the portals open up. “On your left” is a callback to Captain America: The Winter Soldier. That’s the first line of the movie, and is repeated again at the end. Both times are between Sam and Steve, and it was the same in Endgame. And then you add Alan Silvestri’s score (the song is titled ‘Portals’) which is building and building with emotion, which leads into Cap finally saying…

“Avengers (music cuts) Assemble”… (enter Avengers theme song)

It. Is. Perfection. I have chills as I type this. It was probably the greatest theater experience I’ve had in my life. I was sobbing. Imagine how I was by the end…

What has the overall Avengers cinematic adventure meant to you? I remember seeing the first Iron Man in theaters with some friends in 2008. We all dressed up in suits, because we were at a high school awards show kind of thing, and just went straight to the theater, and we had the best time. From the first moment ’til the end, when Tony says, “I am Iron Man”, then Black Sabbath’s ‘Iron Man’ starts playing, my jaw was on the floor. I gave a standing ovation. In a suit. From that moment on, I knew that this was made for me.

It has given me the greatest moments in a movie theater, incredible discussions with friends and strangers, and although it may seem cheesy, some much-needed happiness in some of the most difficult times in my life. I watch these stories because I love them. They mean something to me. They are an important part of who I am.

What would you say to people who say that blockbusters like these aren't ‘real’ cinema? Hahaha! This is a hilarious question, and I’m thrilled that you asked it. I’ve actually had a good 20 people ask me this, and I always said that I’d write something or make a video about it, so here we go…

Let me start off by saying that Martin Scorsese is arguably one of the greatest directors of all time. I love his work, I respect it, and I encourage everyone to watch his full repertoire, ’cause it’s beautiful.

That being said… ‘real cinema’ is a matter of opinions. To me, Avengers: Endgame is just as much real cinema, as The Irishman, Goodfellas, The Shawshank Redemption, The Godfather, anything. I don’t care who you are, you can be Martin Scorsese, Kevin Feige, one of my friends, a stranger, I don’t think you have the right to tell me what is ‘real cinema’. You can say something isn’t good, or only being made to earn a profit, but you don’t get to say that movies like this aren’t worthy of being ‘real cinema’. To me, they are. You’re more than entitled to that opinion! I just happen to disagree with you, but you’re not wrong by any means. I’m entitled to my opinion, you’re entitled to yours. And that’s what it comes down to. Opinions.

Thicc Thor—keep or send back to the gym? I totally don’t care. Taika Waititi figured out how to write that character in Thor: Ragnarok, and thankfully they continued writing him this way in Endgame. So as long as the writers continue on the path that Waititi sent him on, I’m good. Make him thicc, give him an eight-pack, as long as the character has purpose and the lines flow naturally, I’m more than satisfied with whatever he looks like.

How amped are you to learn more about Natasha’s background in this year’s Black Widow? Finally! We’ve been waiting since Iron Man 2, and it is finally time for the Black Widow movie she deserves! I’m fascinated by the Red Room, which was where she started her training as a Russian spy. They showed us glimpses of her beginnings in 2015’s Avengers: Age of Ultron, and I’ve always been hungry for more information because it looked really interesting.

I also think that we may finally find out what happened in Budapest. It was first mentioned in The Avengers back in 2012, as a bit of banter between Black Widow and Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner), and has kind of been a mystery ever since. It was actually mentioned again in Endgame. I’m basing this on the San Diego Comic-Con Hall H panel. There was a title card that said “Budapest”, so it would make sense that we’re gonna get what we’ve been asking for!

I’m also thrilled because the cast is awesome. Obviously double Oscar-nominated actor this season, Scarlett Johansson, Rachel Weisz, David Harbour and one of my favorite actors, Florence Pugh, who had an unbelievable 2019, with Fighting With My Family, Midsommar (one of my favorite performances of the decade), and she topped it off with an Oscar-nominated performance in Little Women!

What do you think should win best picture at this year’s Oscars? Parasite. And it’s not even close. I think Parasite is one of the greatest films I’ve seen in my life. I think it deserves that number one slot on your Top 250 Narrative Features list.

It features the best performance from an ensemble, Song Kang-ho should have been nominated for supporting actor (he should be winning). The production design is fabulous. They literally built the Park family’s house for the film! Hong Kyung-pyo’s photography is worthy of being framed. He created a few shots that are permanently engraved in my head (in a good way). And of course, Bong Joon-ho’s direction flows with emotion and his script is original, gripping and electric. He is the definition of a visionary, at the top of his game.

Parasite is the crowning achievement of the decade and should be awarded as such. It would be the perfect way to end the decade with the first foreign-language film (now titled “International Feature Film”) winning Best Picture at the Oscars. #BONGHIVE all the way!

What do you think will win? My heart says Parasite, but I think it may end up going to something like Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood, The Irishman or 1917 (which is in my top ten this year). The easy answer is probably Hollywood because it won the Globe, but that doesn’t always translate into an Oscar.

But if it’s not Parasite, I think it should be 1917. It is a technical work of art from Oscar, Golden Globe and Tony Award-winning director Sam Mendes. Roger Deakins outdid himself and is pretty much guaranteed to earn his second Oscar [update: he did!]. Thomas Newman’s score is probably my favorite of the year (possibly of his career), followed closely by Emile Mosseri’s for The Last Black Man in San Francisco and Hildur Guðnadóttir’s for Joker. And George MacKay and Dean-Charles Chapman should be on everyone’s radar. They’re phenomenal. It’s shaping up to be quite a race this year!

What’s your favorite thing about Letterboxd? I think the reason I love it so much is because it feels like a family. I’ve had such a passion for the cinema for my whole life, and I like to share it wherever I can. But other social platforms (as wonderful as they are), aren’t always the best place to post about every single movie I’ve watched, or a top ten that I make. Letterboxd is the only place where I can let out all of my opinions, all of my thoughts, without feeling embarrassed or like I’m bothering anyone when I say how perfect Avengers: Endgame is. Or if I watch it and spot something new, I can post about it, and have great conversations about what I’ve discovered. It is the place for movie lovers, and it actually helped me love movies more, and to learn more about the crews, studios, and everything behind the film.

[camisatan]

21 Questions

Rules: Answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people you want to get to know better.

tagged by @twindoodle ! no promises that this one won’t end up delete as well tho....

1.) Height: 5′7″ and a half uwu

2.) Zodiac: i am a pisces! had to look up how to spell my own sign... 

3.) Last movie I saw: The seven deadly sins movie on netflix. watched it with my boyfriend on valentines day u///u

4.) Favorite musician: i have no idea but i have had the tribute song by jack black stuck in my head for like ever now. oh and some bloodhound gang songs.... so them as well

5.) Favorite author: i haven’t read real books since like 5th grade so.... *picks randoms book off shelf* hirohiko araki

6.) Favorite Fanfiction: i haven’t read fanfics since 8th grade and that’s just a cringy time for me i rather forget ;-;

7.) Favorite movie: no one will probably know this but The Pirate Movie was my fucking shit and still holds a special place in my child heart.... and footloose... spiderman made me cri when he dissed it tbh.

8.) Favorite anime: i have a lot i just love at the moment. like jojo, part 5 so far is just awesome and love watching it with my boyfriend. it’s part of how i fell in love with him too uwu. still can’t get over iron blooded orphans. people really need to see that one through before they knock it, like it has a lot of sensitive topics going on in it but its honestly really good and it’s hard not to fall in love with all the characters. also reborn! is really good. like not going to lie the first season is hard to get through but as soon as you get into like the future arc holy shit. just good shit.

9.) Play any instruments?: tried piano, failed. have no rhythm....

10.) Random fact: um... idk i lived in germany for a year. that was pretty neat.

11.) Lucky number: 7 and 13

12.) Do you get asks?: have like twice

13:) Favorite fandom(s): ibo even though it’s pretty much dead ;-; wish there was more fan content and zines n stuff for it. but also fire emblem. they do some weird shit sometimes but boy do i still love em for the most part.

14.) Favorite song:  The Daruma Doll Has Fallen in Love - such a cute song

As You Like It by Eve - UGH THE ANIMATION

Also like pretty much all the royal scandal songs i’ve heard so far

15.) What are you wearing?: christmas cat pj pants, white t-shirt, red micky mouse robe. been wearing it all day uwu”

16.) Hair color: Brown

17.) Eye color: Baby blue

18.) Favorite food: cheesy noodles..... mmmmmmmmmmmyum

19.) Hobbies: Drawing (when motivated which is rare now) and vidya gemu

20.) Favorite weather: Like warm spring days that aren’t gross out and theres a slight breeze and somehow just magically there aren’t any bugs out are my kind of days

21.) Favorite superhero(s): Spiderman!!

then supposed to tag people but sure as hell don’t know 21 people so....@scoolaples @gayaran @sea-spagetti @lainey--bird  

edit: going through my playlist on youtube and finding loads of other songs i love n shit like damn

[recentanimenews]

10 Western Media That Would Make Great Anime

When we anime fans tire of lamenting for the adaptation of manga after manga, or light novel after light novel, we tend to turn our imaginations away from Japan. After all, anime is no stranger to adapting western media. Many books, shows and movies have been adapted from western media into anime form, including Deltora Quest, Spider Riders, Witchblade, Howl’s Moving Castle, Highlander, and Supernatural just to name a few.

This got me thinking of my own wishlist of western media that would make great anime. Here are 10 shows, books, and movies that would make awesome anime adaptations.

  Mortal Engines by Philip Reeve Book Series - Dream Studio: Production I.G. - Dream Format: TV Anime

If you’ve never heard of Mortal Engines, no sweat. It’ll be your new favorite thing in no time. This YA quartet from British author Philip Reeve follows Tom, an apprentice historian atop the city of London. When he’s thrown out of the city, he sides with Hester Shaw, an assassin with the resistance after the life of his master, Thaddeus Valentine, who she blames for the death of her mother.

Sounds pretty run of the mill YA right? My bad. I forgot to mention all of the cities run on tractor wheels. Oh, and the cities eat other cities for resources. Oh, and there’s this huge conspiracy surrounding the city-eating cities, and this huge plot to destroy them. It’s cool that Peter Jackson’s directing a film adaptation of the series, which is due out this December, but just imagine this as an anime...

Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling Book Series - Dream Studio: A-1 Pictures - Dream Format: TV Anime

Does Harry Potter really need an introduction? I feel like we all know about the boy who lived and his battle with he-who-shall-not-be-named. The cliffnotes version of Harry Potter is that an abused orphan turns out to have an incredible magical gift required to stop some of the wizarding world’s most malevolent forces. In addition to his studies, he must juggle fighting the dark forces, and maintaining the friendships he makes at Hogwarts.

  Harry Potter is essentially fantasy shonen in book format. It has the magical boarding school. It has the perfect shonen protagonist and sidekicks. The duels would be incredible to see animated. Hagrid would be moe AF. The mythical creatures would be a sight for sore eyes. But most importantly? QUIDDITCH EPISODES!

Railsea by China Miéville Novel - Dream Studio: Madhouse - Dream Format: Movie

China Mieville’s Railsea is an interesting reimagining of Moby Dick. Except instead of a sea, it’s a giant desert covered in endless, winding train tracks – the titular railsea. And there’s no whales. Only giant moles. The story follows Sham Yes ap Soorap, a young assistant doctor on a train that hunts giant moles for meat (think whaling but with moles). Her journey among the pirates, monsters, and salvagers alike kicks off when she comes across a series of photographs aboard a trainwreck that hint at the impossible existing.

The history behind the now-derelict world of Railsea, coupled with the mixture of gripping drama and havoc reminiscent of kaiju films, would make for a solid animated feature, the visuals of which I’d only trust to Madhouse.

A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin Book Series - Dream Studio: MAPPA - Dream Format: Movies

Okay, so it’s Game of Thrones, but all the characters are moe idols. That’s it. That’s the show.

More seriously though, A Song of Ice and Fire would make a downright wicked fantasy anime. This large-scale fantasy epic has such an incredible assortment of characters, rich history, and gratuitous violence that would be a treat to see in anime form. It’s tough to really pinpoint the plot, since so much is going on, but A Song of Ice and Fire centers on a number of noble families – such as the Starks or Lannisters – vying to claim the throne of Westeros.

If there’s one studio out there that could handle A Song of Ice and Fire, it would be MAPPA. MAPPA’s history with dark fantasy anime series such as Rage of Bahamut or Garo only strengthens my confidence in their ability to breathe some animated life into the franchise.

A Scanner Darkly by Philip K. Dick Novel - Dream Studio: SHAFT - Dream Format: TV Anime

You may know A Scanner Darkly from that weird rotoscoped movie where Keanu Reeves, Robert Downey Jr., and Woody Harrelson play a rag-tag group of friendly drug addicts. The movie itself was based on the Philip K. Dick book of the same name. It follows Bob Arctor, who lives parallel lives as both a drug addict and undercover police agent. Undercover agents report to their superiors in scramble suits, which scramble their identities. The kicker here is that Bob Arctor’s undercover gig? Spy on Bob Arctor.

The drug-addled, paranoia-fueled philosophy behind the day-to-day of drug addicts living in a world where the war on drugs was lost makes for an interesting dynamic, especially with the sci-fi enhanced police work behind it. The only studio I’d trust visually with this would be Shaft, if only to see drug-addict head tilts.

  Peep Show British Comedy Series - Dream Studio: Kyoto Animation - Dream Format: TV Anime

I know this sounds like a weird one, but stick with me. Peep Show is a British sitcom that follows mismatched flatmates Mark and Jeremy – Mark being the uptight 9-5er and Jeremy being the easy-going partier. They don’t always see eye to eye, but sometimes friendships need that. Sometimes Mark needs to loosen up a little. Sometimes Jeremy needs to grow up a bit. As long as they have each other, nothing bad can really go wrong, right? Well, as human nature would have it, things tend to go wrong – quite often, rather quickly.

KyoAni’s bread and butter tends to be slow-paced slice-of-life shows, so if any anime studio would revel in adapting a sitcom, it’d be them. The gimmick of Peep Show is that the camera angles don’t tend to be traditional, and often are shot from the direct view of Mark or Jeremy. It would be interesting to see how that worked in anime form.

Kitchen Nightmares Reality TV Series - Dream Studio: David Production - Dream Format: TV Anime

If Kitchen Nightmares were adapted into an anime, I think it’d probably be a lot like Food Wars!, but Gordon Ramsay yells at Soma every 5 minutes. More realistically, it would follow a rather manly Gordon Ramsay on his trek across Japan in search of crestfallen restaurants in desperate need of an upgrade. Now throw in some Jojo-styled manliness – the likes of which only David Production could replicate – and we have ourselves a recipe for the perfect anime.

The translation of Ramsay’s infamous potty mouth would be a peculiar one, but seeing a muscle-clad Gordon Ramsay faffing about a kitchen screaming oi, teme at the sous chefs would be a treat we could all sink our teeth into.

The Day of the Triffids by John Wyndham Novel - Dream Studio: Wit Studio - Dream Format: Movie

There’s always room for more horror and suspense anime, ones about sentient walking plants doubly so. The book follows Bill Masen, a scientist who specializes in the care, study, and cultivation of triffids – towering venomous carnivores cultivated for their oils. After waking up from temporary blindness following a triffid strike, he finds everyone is now blind from green flashes brought on by comets the night prior. Now Bill must make his way through the streets of London in search of safety.

  While horticulture itself usually isn’t scary, there’s something eerily unsettling about the fact that poisonous man-eating plants walk the streets. Wit Studio would probably be the only studio which could replicate that suspense and terror, having done it perfectly in Attack on Titan and Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress.

  Star Wars Sci-Fi Media Franchise - Dream Studio: Ufotable - Dream Format: TV Anime

With Ufotable’s success at adapting large scale media franchises such as Fate, this sci-fi space opera could be in no better hands. Anime is no stranger to the world’s 2nd largest media franchise either. There are loads of references to the movies in various anime and manga, including Daicon IV, Berserk, Gintama, Doraemon, and Princess Jellyfish, just to name a few. Some fans have gone as far as to draw parallels between the Jedi of Star Wars and Newtypes of Gundam (whether that’s intentional or a coincidence being how close the two were to releasing).

  The coming-of-age rebellion story, coupled with the gratuitous tie-fighter dogfights and lightsaber battles, would make for one show you’d be on the edge of your seat for week after week. I think each trilogy could probably be adapted in one cour, but at this point, I’d even take seeing Clone Wars reanimated in its entirety as long as Ufotable got their hands on it.

  The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams Book Series - Dream Studio: Bones - Dream Format: Movies

From spaceship-stealing presidents to poetry-loving aliens, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has a special charm that boys, girls, and little green people across the universe can love. It follows the incredibly British Arthur Dent, who in attempting to stop the demolition of his house, learns from his best friend Ford Prefect that the Earth is about to be demolished. After a few pints at the pub, the two hitch a ride on a ship and proceed on a journey through the stars in search of answers to life, the universe, and everything.

Anime has the unique marketability to sell just about anything. Look at Dr. Pepper sales after the first series of Steins;Gate aired back in 2011 after all. If the Japanese towel industry ever finds itself in a slump, anime studios know just what British science fiction series to adapt.

BONUS: King of the Hill Animated TV Series - Dream Studio: P.A. Works - Dream Format: TV Anime

You got that right: we’re doing a meme entry! King of the Hill has already claimed some notoriety in anime fandom as being one of the greatest anime of all time (if only second to Cory in the House).

King of the Hill follows the Hank Hill, his family, and their dysfunctional band of friends and neighbors as they navigate the challenges of daily life, propane, diminished glutes, lawnmowers, and more. Sometimes Hank’s modest sensibilities are challenged, but as a man of his word and a man of character, he never stands down.

While the closest we’ll probably ever get to a King of the Hill anime was the 1-hour episode where they went to Japan, we can only hope that one day, you’ll get a Crunchyroll notification that says “Release: King of the Hill - Episode 1”.

What about you folks? Got a favorite book, comic, TV series, or movie you want to see in anime form? Sound off in the comments below!

  ---

  Zach Godin writes about the manga he reads and collects over at his website, Rusted Culture. Feel free to say hi on Twitter: @zachjgodin

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[bizarre-dollhouse]

My Top 10 Favourite Anime (And Why You Should Watch Them)

This is normally something I would put on my main blog, but I wanted to celebrate a follower milestone and also I know this will reach a significantly wider audience on this blog.

Consider this both a list of recommendations and a *get to know me* thing, I guess.

Honourable Mentions:

Bakemonogatari: A really stylized show about a semi vampire helping people with their supernatural afflictions born from emotional issues. The subsequent seasons get a little questionable, but this is definitely a standalone story with great dialogue and visuals. (15 eps)

Shiki: Creepy story about a small town infested with vampires. Really brutal and sick, but it has fascinating themes. The pacing is a bit slow and it has a kind of bad scene towards the end, but the show is 100% worth it. (24 eps)

Cardcaptor Sakura: Because this is mostly aimed at younger viewers, I would only really recommend this show for either magical girl fans, or people who watched the extremely altered dub as a kid. That being said, its a cute, fun show about magic with a likeable cast and surprisingly creative and original ideas, especially towards the latter half. (70 eps)

Jojos Bizarre Adventure 4: Diamond is Unbreakable: Full disclosure, I have not seen the first 3 jojo series, but its not necessary to enjoy this show. This is a super creative and really fun series about superpowered badasses in a strange city fighting each other and trying to solve a murder mystery in the background. Weird, but in the best way. (39 eps)

Kuroshitsuji: Book of Circus: This should be higher on the list, but in truth I would recommend the manga way over the show. But, if you want to watch a supernatural horror/comedy without reading a 138+ chapter manga, OR you were a fan of the original Black Butler seasons and want to see something way better, give this a watch. (10 eps)

*drumroll*

10. Trigun

So Trigun takes place is this old west, yet mysterious science fiction-y world where, through a bunch of complicated scenarios, a pacifist is the most wanted criminal known to man. Due to his status as a “natural disaster,” two insurance workers are tasked with reining him in to save their business. It’s an incredibly charming series, and the protagonist is really likeable. It’s extremely creative, funny, and emotional near the end. I do have some problems with the ending because it almost seems like the final conflict just...solves itself, but that’s a nitpick. The first episode is basically a short film, so give that a watch and see how you feel. (26 eps)

9. Paranoia Agent

This was directed by the late and great Satoshi Kon and has his usual themes about the blurring between fiction, dreams, and reality. It’s about a string of mysterious assaults committed by a kid with a baseball bat, and how these assaults seem to solve the problems of the victims. It’s very arthouse and has a twist that makes me ball my eyes out even though it’s not sad it’s just...odd and overwhelming. It drags a bit near the middle, but if you like kind of surreal stuff that’s also just really good, you have to watch this show. (13 eps)

8. Baby Steps

The amazing thing about this show is that its premise is specifically designed to make me hate it. It’s about a nerdy teenager who starts to play a sport for the sole sake of getting fit and having a more well rounded life style, and also he has a crush on this really popular girl. That sounds fucking awful, but the main character is actually really likeable (he reminds me a lot of Deku from BNHA) and I swear to fucking god every time I thought this show was going to do something awful and cliched with its romantic comedy plot, it doesn’t. The beauty and the geek trope is still there, but all of the bullshit that comes with it is omitted in a way I feel was kind of self-aware. The sports aspect is really good too: it’s well paced and there’s lots of tension even though the show as a whole is really upbeat and pleasant. I had a blast watching it, and if you can make it past the fact that is has god awful animation, give it a watch.

7. Higurashi: When They Cry

Yet another great show with absolute garbage animation. Anyways, this show is about a group of teenagers in a small town who are unknowingly trapped in a time loop. In each loop there’s a bunch of new mysteries, as well as some extremely brutal murders and tortures experienced my the main cast. I’ve seen a number of Western shows (Orphan Black, BBC Sherlock, Lost, Supernatural, etc.) fall apart because the writers want a really clever and intricate mystery to play out, but they don’t want to actually put the time into crafting one, so it’s just a bunch of cliffhangers with no answers or pay off. THIS SHOW SUCCEEDS AT WHAT ALL OF THOSE OTHER SHOWS FAIL AT. While not all of the answers are great (the second season isn’t as good) the original author somehow made the world’s most ludicrously complicated mystery story work, with a lot of it relying on the audience to put all of the pieces together even when the characters can’t. Its very clever in doing that: it makes its audience feel smart. It also has themes that don’t really show up in other horror stories, even though they’re incredibly relevant to fear and violence. Great show, go watch it. (50 eps)

6. Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood

Everyone knows about this show, everyone says it’s great, and everyone’s right. If you’ve been living under a rock for ten years: the show is about two brothers who break an alchemy taboo, which destroys their bodies, They’re on the hunt for something to restore them to normal and along the way they meet like 8990354578579 characters with interesting stories. It’s tightly written and really gripping. It’s fun, but also really dramatic and emotional when it needs to be. My only problems with it are that the ending is reaaaallllly convoluted, and there’s a minor plot point earlier on that gets weirdly dropped, but everyone kinda forgets about those things because the show’s so good. Also the brotherly bond makes me cry. (64 eps)

5. FLCL

I honestly don’t even know where to start with this show because it has the unique property of being the only show I have ever seen that I have literally no problems with. Not even nitpicks. There is nothing wrong with this show; it’s perfect. The only reason it’s not number 1 is because some other shows have more ideas or more fleshed out characters. So this arthouse spastic comedy is about a boy who is disappointed with all of the adults in his life, then some chick hits him in the face with a guitar and giant robots from a secret facility start coming out of his head. It’s fucking wild and has like 30 different aesthetics and I love all of them. It’s the best looking show I’ve ever seen and one of the best directed. It feels like someone read a really weird poem and turned it into a 6 episode show. It’s funny, it’s emotional, it’s cartoony, it’s beautiful, it’s raunchy, it’s poetic, it’s silly, it’s creative, and it’s got strong themes. The wtf visuals, the nonsensical plot, and the amazing soundtrack make an aesthetic experience more than anything. (6 eps)

4. Princess Tutu

I already made a post about this show and why it’s good, which you can check out here, but the gist is it’s a meta fairytale about a duck that turns into a girl to help a storybook prince find his emotions. I used to love stories that were “twists on fairytales” or whatever, but after watching this show I realized that the genre is pretty derivative. This show is so amazing it honestly made me reevaluate an entire genre and come to the conclusion that this is the only member of that genre worth watching. It’s truly creative and well crafted with fantastic characters. (26 eps)

3. Hunter x Hunter (2011)

This show is basically a bunch of creative ideas, unique set pieces, and interesting characters stacked on top of each other in a trench coat disguised as a narrative. It’s about a perky shonen protagonist and a child assassin becoming friends while also trying to become hunters (a position involving vast wealth and adventure). It’s in a modern fantasy setting so literally anything can happen. In one arc they have to play life-or-death dodgeball against robots, and another is an insanely epic tale about the intense evil that people are capable of (feat. a 25 episode climax). I can’t even talk about all of the themes or ideas because there are just too many. Because of it’s wild, sprawling story, it has a lot of ass pulls and retcons, but in the grand scheme of things they don’t really matter. It’s long, but super easy to watch in huge chunks. (148 eps)

2. Neon Genesis Evangelion and The End of Evangelion

The most efficient way to describe this show is to say that it’s the most interesting show ever made. It’s about an apocalyptic future in which emotionally disturbed teenagers must pilot giant bio-machines to fight monsters which are referred to as angels. It’s got deep characters, a creative story, and is probably the most well directed show I’ve ever seen. The ending infamously fell apart due to production problems, so there’s a movie called The End of Evangelion to conclude the story. It’s a very disturbing arthouse movie, so watch out for that, but the show as a whole is moooosssstly more straightforward and fascinating, This is an absolute must watch. (26 eps and 1 movie)

1. Baccano!

Baccano! takes place in 1930s New York, and is about thieves, gangsters, criminals, terrorists, alchemists, and immortals interacting in this nonlinear comedy/action thrill ride. I felt like I was on a rollercoaster while watching this show. It’s the perfect blend of action, comedy, romance, drama, horror, and creative storytelling. It’s fantastic to rewatch since the first episodes barely make any sense without context (but are still an absolute joy to watch). It’s got great characters and it’s a great story. Go watch it. And then watch it again. (13 eps and 3 OVAs)

That’s it for this list! Check out my MAL page for more recommendations if you’re interested and have a great night! 

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior 7/23/21 - SNAKE EYES, OLD, VAL, JOE BELL, SETTLERS, JOLT, MANDIBLES, and More!

So I definitely underestimated Space Jam: A New Legacy last week and way overestimated Escape Room: Tournament of Champions, maybe because I liked the latter way more than the former and probably underestimated the nostalgia factor for Space Jam… oh, yeah, and the fact that it was also on HBO Max, which didn’t really matter since it grossed more than $30 million anyway. Meanwhile, Escape Room, a rare theatrical-only movie, failed to bring people into theaters to see it as it ended up making about half what I expected. Oh, well. It happens. Live and learn.

Hey, guess what? We don’t have any sequels this week! Okay, to be fair, we do have a spin-off/prequel sort of thing, so I guess that counts.

The latter is SNAKE EYES: G.I. JOE ORIGINS (Paramount Pictures/MGM/Skydance), the latest attempt by Hasbro Films to reboot its G.I. Joe franchise with Henry Golding from Crazy Rich Asians playing the popular anti-hero from the oh-so-popular Hasbro toys, comics and cartoons. As you can surmise from the subtitle, Snake Eyes, directed by Robert Schwentke (Red, R.I.P.D.), is an origin story for the most enigmatic member of the Joe team. Much of the rest of the cast are Asian actors or martial arts specialists like Iko Uwais from The Raid and its sequel. The movie does introduce Samara Weaving from Ready or Not as Scarlet, another popular G.I. Joe character, as well as her counterpart, the Baronness, so it’s definitely a G.I. Joe movie still.

It’s been quite some time since the previous Joe movie, G.I. Joe: Retaliation, which was released in March 2013 where it opened with $40.5 million, which is less than the previous movie, 2009’s G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, which opened with $54.7 million. The two movies made $150.2 million and $122.5 million respectively, although “Retaliation” did slightly better overseas to gross $375.7 million to Rise of Cobra’s $302 million. Those aren’t huge numbers compared to Hasbro’s other big toy-related franchise, the “Transformers” movies by Michael Bay, which were doing almost $300 million in the U.S. alone. Retaliation may have been hurt by being delayed a number of times putting more time between the original movie and sequel, but it introduced a few great new ideas and characters played by Dwayne “Franchise Viagra” Johnson and Bruce “You Have My Direct Deposit Info, Right?” Willis.

There is an odd connection between “Retaliation” and Snake Eyes, because the former was directed by Jon Chu, who directed Golding in Crazy Rich Asians, the movie that broke him out. Chu had talked forever about doing another G.I. Joe movie but it seems like he’s moved on and has a lot on his plate now, so who knows if we’ll ever get another direct sequel? It’s hard to say if and how Snake Eyes might integrate with previous or future Joe movies.

Either way, the G.I. Joe franchise obviously has a number of dedicated fans who might want to see more of where Snake Eyes came from, and the trailers make it look like it’s in a similar vein as John Wick Chapter 3. Unfortunately, I won’t be seeing this until Tuesday night and reviews won’t hit until Thursday, so I’m going to have to gauge interest in this without knowing whether critics liked this any more than the previous movies. (Okay, reviews went live at 3 this morning, but I was already asleep, having already finished writing this column, as always.)

I can see Snake Eyes pushing for an opening somewhere in the mid-$20 millions, and maybe it will over-perform like last week’s Space Jam: A New Legacy or Mortal Kombat and bring in closer to $30 million, since one presumes that the Joe fanbase hasn’t gone anywhere and would go with this over Old.

Mini-Review: While I’m not really much of a G.I. Joe fan, I am a fan of martial arts, swordplay, and Japanese culture like Yakuza and samurai and such. Not really knowing that much about the title character of Snake Eyes, I was kind of interested in knowing more about him, especially the fact that they cast a real actor to play him for this movie in Henry Golding. (Sorry, not sorry, Ray Park.)

We meet him as a boy with no name, having gotten his nickname from the man who killed his father when he was a boy, urging his dad to roll dice in order to live. He rolls (what else?) snake eyes. Decades later, the boy is a man working for the Yakuza and a particularly nasty guy named Kenta (Takehiro Hira) who nearly kills Snake Eyes before he’s paired with Tommy (Andrew Koji), the prodigal son of the Arashikage clan who also happen to be Kenta’s sworn enemies. Having saved Tommy’s life, Snake Eyes is urged to stay at the family castle and train to join the clan as an assassin. His training involves a series of tests conducted by Blind Master (Peter Mensah) and Hard Master (Iko Uwais), but we soon learn that Snake Eyes is still loyal to Kenta and used his friendship with Tommy as a ruse to infiltrate the castle and steal their greatest weapon. Oh, yeah there’s also giant snakes, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Having seen Robert Schwentke’s The Captain, I know the director can make great movies, and Snake Eyes is probably one of his better American films, at least that I’ve seen. The reason this movie work at all is the casting for most of the may Asian roles are fantastic. I particularly enjoyed seeing Haruke Abe as Akiko, one of the truly kick-ass women in the movie, but the same can be said for Eri Ishida, who plays Tommy’s grandmother and the head of Tommy’s clan, and she too has some great action moments. The point is that Snake Eyes doesn’t suffer from the decision to cast talented Asian actors in the same way that Mortal Kombat did.

The movie’s biggest issues arrive when they try to fit G.I. Joe and Cobra into the mix (about an hour into the movie), because it definitely feels shoehorned into what is becoming a decent movie about honor and loyalty. I have never heard of Spanish actress Ursula Corbero, but she’s absolutely garbage as Baronness, vamping and trying to make the role more comicky apparently. By comparison, I’m generally a fan of Samara Weaving, but she isn’t much better as Scarlett. Since these are both popular G.I. Joe characters, I can’t imagine the fans will be too happy.

A lot of what happens at the end is telegraphed from a mile away, especially if you already figured out where the relationship between Snake Eyes and Tommy is going. (Maybe it isn’t a secret, but in case it isn’t obvious…)

Snake Eyes works fine as the G.I. Joe origin it’s meant to be, but I would have been perfectly fine without any G.I. Joe references at all, and if this was just a cool Asian action flick like The Villainess or some of Takashi Miike’s yakuza films.

Rating: 7/10

M. Night Shyamalan returns to theaters after a brief sojourn into TV with Apple TV+’s Servant (which is great) with his latest high-concept thriller, OLD (Universal Pictures), which involves a family who goes to visit a remote tropical beach where they learn that something on the beach is making them age extraordinarily fast. The movie stars Gael Garcia Bernal, Vicky Krieps from Paul Thomas Anderson’s Phantom Thread, Alex Wolff from Hereditary (and last week’s Pig), and Thomasin McKenzie from Jojo Rabbit. It’s a pretty great ensemble cast for sure, but how many of those actors have a proven track record to bring people into theaters? Not many, but will that matter?

Shyamalan has had an amazing career as a filmmaker in terms of box office with six movies that grossed over $100 million (and a seventh that came close), one movie (Signs) that grossed over $200 million, and then his early film, The Sixth Sense, which came close to $300 million domestically. (This is all domestic, if you didn’t figure it out.) Shyamalan’s movies have done very well overseas, often matching the amount the movies made in the States. Shyamalan’s last two movies, 2017’s Split and 2019’s Glass, took the director back to his earlier movie, 2000’s Unbreakable, starring Bruce Willis, and both those movies grossed more. (To be fair, ticket prices have increased a lot since 2000.) Glass opened with $40 million in January 2019, roughly the same as Split’s opening, and that’s a fairly standard opening for the filmmaker.

Old doesn’t have that connection to a popular past movie, nor does it really have the starpower of some of Shyamalan’s movies, so it’s definitely at a disadvantage and possibly more in line with his 2015 “comeback” thriller, The Visit, which grossed $65.2 million from an opening of $25.2 million.

Horror movies and thrillers don’t necessarily need to have big name stars but it doesn’t hurt -- look at Ethan Hawke’s forays into genre with Sinister and The Purge for Blumhouse -- and though any of the cast could appear on talk shows to promote the film, I’m not sure if any of them could be considered a draw at this point. (Maybe Alex Wolff, since he’s quite popular among young women for his horror movies and music career.)

Any way you look at it, Shyamalan has become a filmmaker whose name on a film helps drive people to see the movies in theaters, and that will be the case here, as well. You combine the Shyamalan name with an easy-to-sell concept like a beach that ages people (vs. the relaxation beaches normally provide)

My review for this one will be over at Below the Line later on Thursday, but I’m presuming that critics will be mixed on this one at best. If they go negative, which I could see happening, that might theoretically hurt the movie’s chances, although it should still be good for opening weekend.

Because of this, and because Old might lose some of its male audiences to the above Snake Eyes -- oddly, neither of these movies will be available on streaming day and date, mind you -- Shyamalan’s latest will probably end up in the mid-to-high-teens, although it might be able to make $20 million in a push.

1. Snake Eyes (Paramount/MGM/Skydance) - $24.1 million N/A

2. Old (Universal) - $17 million N/A

3. Space Jam: A New Legacy (Warner Bros.) - $15 million -51%

4. Black Widow (Marvel/Disney) - $13.5 million -48%

5. Escape Room: Tournament of Champions (Sony) - $4.5 million -49%

6. F9 (Universal) - $4.4 million -43%

7. The Boss Baby: Family Business (Universal/DreamWorks Animation) - $2.6 million -45%

8. The Forever Purge (Universal) - $2.1 million -49%

8. A Quiet Place Part II (Paramount) - $1.6 million -25%

10. Roadrunner: A Film About Anthony Bourdain (Focus) - $1 million -47%

There are a few more theatrical releases, but let’s start by getting into this week’s “Chosen One”, which is…

Leo Scott and Ting Poo’s doc VAL (Amazon) refers to actor Val Kilmer, who goes through his entire career in this fascinating portrait in which we see him in the present day dealing with the debilitating throat cancer that’s nearly taken his voice. Culled from almost four decades of archival footage, most of it shot by Kilmer himself, the film puts together an amazing story of Kilmer’s life as a working actor, but also captures his family life, his tough relationship with his father and how his marriage and career deteriorated over time.

It really surprised me how much I loved this movie, because honestly, I’ve never been a particularly big Kilmer fan, other than a few favorites like Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, and probably a few others. In fact, I finally saw Top Gun for the first time a few months ago, and I wasn’t even that big a fan, as I don’t think it aged well. But what’s great about Val, the movie, is that you get to see some of Kilmer’s own footage from on set and off for movies like Top Gun and even The Island of Doctor Moreau, which he admits was a complete disaster, a shame since it was the only chance to work with his idol, Marlon Brando (who barely shows up to set).

What’s particularly eerie is hearing a younger Val narrating the film, clearly recorded from before he was hit with the debilitating throat cancer, but the filmmakers did a great job editing all of Kilmer’s footage and words into a surprisingly cohesive (and still very linear) story.

Besides seeing the footage and how it meshed with Kilmer’s narration, I also greatly appreciated the score by Garth Stevenson, as well as the song choices, which includes some familiar tunes but always in a different way than what we’re used to. I’m really curious if Val picked some of the tunes himself, but whoever the music supervisor was on this film, really did an amazing job getting songs that meshed well with Stevenson’s music.

Val is a terrific portrait of an actor who probably never got the level of respect he deserved , but it’s also a film that will make you think of your own life and mortality.

Mark Wahlberg stars in and as JOE BELL (Roadside Attractions/Vertical) in this drama directed by Reinaldo Marcus Green, who helmed the excellent and underrated Monsters and Men. Green didn’t write this one, but it was written by Diana Ossana and Larry McMurtry, the Oscar-winning writers of Brokeback Mountain. With that in mind, you’d expect something more interesting, but as I watched Joe Bell, I actually wasn’t aware that it was based on a real person/story.

The long and short of it is that Wahlberg’s Joe Bell is a father who has decided to walk across the country from Oregon to New York City to talk to anyone who will listen about bullying, and why it’s bad. Yup, that’s it. That’s the movie. To be fair, we do get to see Joe spending time with his gay son Jadin (Reed Miller), and those are generally the best parts of the film, but one thing that really didn’t work for me was the structure, especially the time spent (SPOILER!) pretending that Jadin was already dead before Joe went on his cross-country walk. It’s something that’s casually revealed when Joe stops in a gay bar for a drink and mentions it to a drag queen.

Otherwise, Joe Bell is a movie that leans so heavily on the screenplay and Wahlberg’s performance, which is better than others we’ve seen from him but isn’t that great. Overall, the film is just so dour, glum and frankly, quite dull, that there’s very little that can make it more interesting, especially since the narrative and structure makes the whole thing kind of obvious.

Maybe there’s a better version of this movie but when you get to what is quite a grim ending and then you realize that it’s a true story, you kind of wish that thing called “artistic license” was used more liberally to make a better movie. All Joe Bell does is state the obvious: that bullying is bad, especially towards people different and possibly more fragile than you.

Rating: 6/10

I'm not sure how wide Roadside plans on releasing Joe Bell, but I'd expect 400 to 500 theaters, but I'm not sure that's enough to get it into the Top 10.

Wyatt Rockefeller’s feature film directorial debut, SETTLERS (IFC Midnight) takes place on Mars, and at first, it deals with a couple (played by Johnny Lee Miller and Sofia Boutella) living on a remote base there with their young daughter Remmy (Brooklynn Prince), but it’s soon attacked by a stranger who wants them to leave. The movie premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival last month and will get a release into select theaters on Friday as well as be released in various digital formats.

Settlers starts off as if it might be a home invasion movie with a sci-fi twist, but that aspect of it is fleeting, as it soon becomes a drama where the stranger Jerry (Ismael Cruz Cordova) moves in with Remmy and her mother, and then other stuff happens. Oh, yeah, there’s also an adorable robot named Steve.

Don’t get me wrong, because I genuinely liked Settlers, although I think I was expecting something more genre-y since it’s being released by IFC Midnight. Because of the setting, I was expecting something more science fiction or home invasion, and I guess comparing it to a Western would be fair due to the wilderness setting, but really, it’s a character drama about how three people need to coexist together, especially when one of them is a stranger in their midst. Seeing how Boutella’s character slowly warms up to Jerry while Remmy is still suspicious and even angry at her mother accepting the stranger.

In many ways, this is Prince’s movie, because she’s so good in this role that she almost supports the adult actors by leading. Prince is so compelling that she’s even able to keep you interested when Remmy is just wandering around, exploring various aspects of the environment around their home base. That is, at least until the last act when the film jumps forward a number of years and Nell Tiger Free (from Servant) takes over the role of Remmy (quite fluidly, in fact).

This creates a very different dynamic between Jerry and Remmy that might feel a bit pervy to some women (okay, most women). Cordova is also quite good in a role that’s tough to sell, because he isn’t the typical bad man.

Settlers is a quiet and subdued film with not a lot of action or dialogue for that matter, but it reminds me quite a bit of Moon, and it’s a similarly solid debut by Rockefeller, showing him to be a strong storyteller able to get strong performances out of his relatively small cast. (Oh, and hey, I should have an interview with Rockefeller next week over at Below the Line.)

Rating: 7/10

Kate Beckinsale stars in the action-thriller JOLT (Amazon), which hits Amazon Prime Video this Friday. It's directed by Tanya Wexler (Buffaloed), and in the movie, Beckinsale plays Lindy, a woman with a debilitating condition that gives her insane strength when she gets angry, and she gets angry a LOT. But no, this is not like the upcoming She-Hulk series, though it’s an incredible action movie for sure.

Beckingsale’s Lindy has something called “intermittent explosive disorder” which I’m not sure if that’s a real thing (probably not), but it gives her incredible strength when she gets mad, and it forces her to wear a vest that gives a huge electrical charge when she pushes a button. So yeah, the movie feels a lot like Crank if it had a woman lead instead of Jason Statham. Honestly, if that alone doesn’t sell you on Jolt, then this movie probably isn’t gonna be for you.

It actually starts out as a pseudo-rom-com as Lindy meets a nice guy, played by Jai Courtney, but after a few dates and some great sex, he’s killed, and Lindy is upset but even more furious than normal, swearing to find the man responsible for killing her kinda-boyfriend. So yeah, Jolt quickly turns into a revenge thriller, but it’s one with lots of Beckinsale kicking ass, some great car chases, and lots of funny doofuses getting their asses handed to them, both figuratively and literally.

Surprisingly, Wexler didn’t write this one -- the screenplay’s Scott Wascha -- but her reputation and previous films helped her put together a great cast around Beckinsale, including Stanley Tucci as her therapist who set her up with the shock vest, and Bobby Cannavale and Laverne Cox as the detectives investigating the death of Lindy’s beau, all three of them offering some great humorous dynamics to the mix.

That’s probably why Jolt is quite satisfying, not only in terms of being a female empowerment movie, but also not taking itself too seriously and always keeping the comedy on the darker side. For instance, there’s a scene where Lindy throws live babies at Cox to distract her, but what do you expect from a movie that enjoys giving its main character literal electroshock therapy?

So yeah, I definitely liked Jolt as an action-comedy. Maybe it was a bit too violent for my tastes, at times, but it definitely is everything I hoped to get out of Gunpowder Milkshake last week, and honestly, I had no idea Wexler had this kind of movie in her.

Rating: 7/10

Quirky French filmmaker Quentin Dupieux (Rubber) returns with MANDIBLES (Magnet), a comedy of sorts about a pair of dumbass friends -- Manu (Grégoire Ludig from Keep Your Eye Out) and David Marsais’ Jean-Gab, who steal a car for a job only to find a giant fly inside its trunk, so they decide to train it to rob banks for them.

Yup, it’s another weird one from Dupieux, and honestly, it took me a long time to really get into it, as these two doofuses get into all sorts of predicaments (and who have an amusing “secret” handshake). Where it really takes off is when they meet a group of vacationers, including the one and only Adèle Exarchopoulos as Agnes, a woman who mistakes one of the guys as a high-school lover. Things just get zanier from there as the guys try to sneak in their giant trained fly -- now named Dominique -- into the vacation home where they’re staying with a bunch of Agnes suspicious friends and her brother. (There’s also one woman who literally shouts everything due to a condition, and at first, it was more aggravating than funny, but like everything else in this, she gets funnier over time.)

In fact, after I got to the end of the movie, I ended up going back to rewatch the first half again to see if I missed anything, and surprise, surprise, the two guys and their antics had definitely grown on me by the end, making it easier to enjoy a second view. I certainly wouldn’t recommend any of Dupieux��s movies to just anyone, and that goes for Mandibles, but if you enjoyed the quirky humor of Rubber or last year’s Deerskin, then you might not hate this one, but it’s also not a movie I’d recommend you rush out to see in theaters.

Rating: 6.5/10

A few more words about a few other docs… (As usual, I didn’t get to watch nearly as much as I hoped to get to this week.)

I did get to watch Garret Price’s WOODSTOCK '99: PEACE, LOVE AND RAGE (HBO), which will hit the cable network on Friday. Honestly, I barely remember it, and I’m not even sure I watched it PPV or at all, because there weren’t really that many acts at this year’s festival that interested me. I mean, Limp Bizkit? Korn? Rage Against the Machine? I wasn’t really into any of those in the late ‘90s, and certainly not my sworn-enemy Jewel or Sheryl Crow or Alannis Morrissette, the festival’s token women who were slotted into separate days. Even so, Price is a pretty decent documentation of all the awfulness at that particular festival from portapotties mixing shit in with all the mud or the many cases of sexual harassment, assault and flat-out rape that took place on the campgrounds. I’m sure I heard most of it but seeing it put together like this in the film’s two-hour running time just makes it harder to watch without tearing up. A pretty solid doc that I’m not sure I could fully recommend, but hey, I’ve never been to one of these festivals and after watching this movie, I probably never will. (It is interesting how Price contrasts the disaster of Woodstock ‘99 with the hugely-successful Coachella, which started not long afterwards.)

Unfortunately, I didn’t get to Jamila Wignot’s doc AILEY (NEON) about choreographer Alvin Ailey, making this the second movie about dance or choreography in a row. It opens in New York this weekend, in L.A. theaters next Friday July 30 and then everywhere on August 6.

Then there’s ALL THE STREETS ARE SILENT (Greenwich), Jeremy Elkin’s doc that covers the crossroads between skateboard and hip-hop in downtown Manhattan during the late ‘80s and early ‘90s. For whatever reason, I wasn’t able to get around to this, although it features Rosario Dawson, Bobbito Garcia, Stretch Armstrong, Moby (him again?!), Fab 5 Freddy, and a lot of other rappers I’ve never heard of.

Also hitting HBO Max on Thursday is THROUGH OUR EYES (HBO Max/Sesame Workshop docuseries), a series of four 30-minute films designed for adults to watch with their kids age 9 and up, dealing with things like homelessness, parental incarceration, military caregiving, and climate displacement. Sounds fun.

Hitting Netflix on Wednesday is TROLLHUNTERS: RISE OF THE TITANS (Netflix), a movie based on the popular series produced by Guillermo del Toro, which I’ve also never see, so I guess I don’t have a lot to say about this.

Lastly, premiering this week is the second season of Apple TV+’s Emmy-nominated TED LASSO which is probably gonna win a bunch of those Emmys going by previous awards shows. It’s a very popular show. I’m still on Season 1, myself.

Other films I didn’t get to… (sorry, respective publicists!)

HERE AFTER (Vertical)

FEAR AND LOATHING IN ASPEN (Shout Studios!)

Next week, it’s a doozy! Disney finally releases Jungle Cruise, starring Dwayen Johnson and Emily Blunt, while there are two smaller movies looking to make some money, Thomas McCarthy’s Stillwater (Focus Features), starring Matt Damon, and David Lowery’s The Green Knight (A24), starring Dev Patel. Should be an interesting one.

[remainseatedatalltimes]

And the decade ends with a...

So concludes another year, and with it, another decade as well.  Now, I wish I could sit here and reflect on what a game-changing, exhilarating and revolutionary year 2019 was in the world of cinema.  But I can’t.  In fact, in my 8 years of writing this one time annual blog, there has never been a year that was as insipid as this past year was.  So much so, that unlike in previous years where I have always started this blog highlighting some of the greats of the year that was, this year I’ve decided to start with the bottom of the barrel. But don’t fret, there are a few glasses of the good stuff left.  Not many, but a few.  

To set the scene, my least favourite film of 2019 is a movie (and no, it’s not the one you’re thinking of), that will likely go on to be nominated for several Academy Awards in just a few short weeks’ time.  And it should be nominated. There is plenty to praise about this film.  But incredible performances, stylish directing and a story centered around one of the most fascinating events in modern history does not always a good film make.  Not when it’s told in such an obnoxious, pretentious and self-indulgent way.  So, to kick things off, I present to you, my least favourite film of 2019 – Once Upon A Time In Hollywood.

I should say straight off the bat that I am only a moderate fan of Quentin Tarantino’s work.  I love his film knowledge and his passion for making unique, and also highly nostalgic films.  But I’m also a firm believer that storytelling is at the heart of great cinema, and I often feel Tarantino sacrifices storytelling for brilliant, but often bloated camerawork and cinematography.

I had high hopes for Once Upon A Time In Hollywood however.  This was Tarantino working with an incredible cast, telling an original story set within one of Hollywood’s most infamous eras – and when the wonderfully retro and charming trailer dropped, I couldn’t have been more excited. This should have been the perfect canvas for Tarantino to shine.  

But instead, Once Upon A Time In Hollywood is a frustratingly tedious, hedonistic film that almost feels like it’s mocking its audience with its in-jokes and smarmy blurring of lines between real events and fiction.  In just shy of 3 hours, Tarantino essentially conveys 3 things: actors are self-doubting creatures that need constant re-assurance (no surprise); Hollywood is a game of relationships where not rocking the boat is paramount (again, no surprise – most industries are the same); and that shocking audiences is apparently very easy when you take a non-fiction story and completely change the ending (1 plus 1 equals 7).  I know what you’re thinking.  How can that possibly make for a near 3 hour film?  Well, I refer you back to Paragraph 2 of the Remain Seated At All Times Tumblr blog post titled “And the decade ends with a....”, where I stated that this film is “obnoxious, pretentious and self-indulgent”.  Just like that entire last sentence is superfluous…well…you get the point.

So to prove that moving on once you’ve made a point IS achievable, let me then proceed to the other atrocity of 2019:  Roadkill.  Sorry. I mean, Cats.

Now before anybody jumps up and down and complains that a movie that is – in fact – so much worse than Once Upon A Time In Hollywood isn’t my worst film of 2019, I offer you this one short piece of commentary.  Cats is the kind of epic, unequivocal, indescribable disaster that actually transcends awful into a place of almost fascination and reverence.  You know what I mean.  Like watching a YouTube video of someone mixing paint. You know it’s ridiculous to sit there and watch it – but you can’t look away.  You’re transfixed.  And I will take that over boring arrogance any day.

Cats is NOT boring.  It’s far from it.  Much like the musical that inspired it – which so happens to also be one of the worst musicals ever created – Cats is a bold, daring attempt to deliver something no one ever wanted to see.  Humans behaving like cats singing boring ballads.  Add to it an insipid score that needs serious remastering, awful special effects, and an enhanced story-line that makes zero sense (yes, I know, they’re dancing humans dressed as cats – why am I surprised by a ridiculous story-line?), and you have 90 minutes of sheer bewilderment.  The only saving grace:  Hopefully the movie has sufficiently taken the last of nine lives from this atrocious musical so that we never have to endure another performance – either in film, OR on stage.

So now that we’ve taken out the kitty litter, let’s look at some of the brighter sparks of 2019. Because, whilst there were actually NO films last year that I reviewed higher than 4-stars, there were still a few gems that warrant some attention.  These include last year’s Best Picture winner, Green Book; the dark and twisted take on one of DC’s greatest villains, Joker; the hilarious and earnest original whodunit, Knives Out; and the epic end to the greatest movie franchise in history, Avenger’s Endgame.

But taking the spot of my 3rd best film of the year was the latest film in the franchise that constantly delivers the impossible – a better film with each and every sequel.  In its simplest form, Toy Story 4 is a beautiful romantic comedy featuring two stand-out lead characters.  But whilst the lovely romance of Woody and Bo Peep take centre stage, it’s the gobsmackingly clever new characters including the show boater with no self-confidence – Duke Caboom– and my absolute favourite new character of 2019 (and spirit utensil) – Forky – that ultimately steal the show.  Pixar never ceases to amaze, and Toy Story 4 is no exception. The idea of creating a kids movie positioned around a romantic comedy, where a core character is made of trash, thinks of himself as nothing more, and needs to learn self-worth from scratch, is something truly extraordinary.  So thank you Pixar for giving me Forky.  A character that taught me so much, even at my age!

Speaking of education, slipping into 2nd place is Olivia Wildes glorious directorial debut – Booksmart.  This joyous, hilarious and utterly original coming of age story is spearheaded by stellar performances by its two leads.  But it’s the way the film manages to use its often absurd humour to elevate its very sincere reflection of growing up in today’s day and age that really set this film apart.  Booksmart continues the trend of unique, smart coming of age stories where young love is not the focus.  Instead, it simply heroes its two smart and strong female leads and showcases that there’s no one more important than your best friend.

And so we come to my favourite film of the year – although, favourite is probably not the best word to use given how uncomfortable I found this film to watch.   But it’s precisely that discomfort that elevates this harrowing and heartbreaking film to my number one spot.  That film:  Hotel Mumbai.

I understand that putting a dramatized version of a horrifying real-life event at the top of my list may seem odd – and for many reviewers, this movie felt exploitative. But I couldn’t disagree more.  For me, Hotel Mumbai deftly balances the fears and bravery of its protagonists with a dismaying reflection of the motivations (or often lack there of) of the terrorists.  Add to that some social commentary on the political failures that made the tragedy far worse, and you have an uncomfortable to watch, but ultimately poignant reflection of just one of recent history’s most horrifying incidents, and my number 1 film of 2019.

Now, to avoid ending this recap of 2019 on such a dire note, I should point out that there are a large number of additional films I feel should be included in this list including Roma and The Irishman.  However – given I don’t review movies I see outside of cinemas (how can I honestly review a film I watch on a plane the same way I do on a giant immersive screen), I’ve intentionally left these off the list.  Likewise, there’s a number of films I missed this year – including the well-reviewed Parasite, and the latest from the genius that is Taikia Waititi – Jojo Rabbit – that I feel would likely have been quite high up in my rankings had I seen them in cinemas earlier in the year.   Although, given Once Upon A Time In Hollywood was my least favourite film – and yet it just walked away with a Best Picture award at the Golden Globes – then perhaps not.  Which is probably why I shouldn’t give up my day job.  Call me old fashioned, but I like my movies to have a plot.  And a point.

But for now, that’s a wrap on 2019.  Lets home this new decade brings with it more reasons to return to a cinema near you.  See you next year!

[d-dumais-blog]

Keijo!!!!!!!! Review: I Like Big Butts & I Can Not Lie

Keijo is awesome! It’s insanely stupid and yet, somehow it succeeds at nearly everything it attempts. Keijo’s success is quite honestly an anomaly.  A quick glance at premise, studio, and staff would suggest this show should have been forgotten before it even finished airing, and yet somehow it stuck around and resonated with fans, particularly in the West, in a way that no one involved saw coming.  Its success in the West isn’t only a surprise to me, it appears to be a surprise to license holder Funimation that currently has NO merchandise available for purchase. No posters, no key chains, no announced bluray release.  So let’s talk about why it works and why I love it so damn much.

Let’s start with the basics; this show is not for everyone.  Keijo is a show about girls fighting each other in bathing suits using only their boobs and butts atop a variety of floats in an Olympic sized pool. Yes it is as dumb as it sounds. Yes there is an obscene amount of fan service focusing primarily on the girls’ butts.  I completely understand why some people might be turned off by its objectification of the women portrayed.  You might consider the show sexist, and you might consider me sexist for my enjoyment. A quick note on that, I’m a fan of all fan service both male and female.  I’m a straight male with a particular affinity for the female rear end, check the title of this review, but you bet I appreciate some well drawn men in various states of undress.  Anime has the opportunity to unrealistically portray human sexuality and I think artists are free to draw all manner of people however they’d like.  I hope this helps you to understand why I won’t be talking about the sexism debate that surrounded this show.

 Keijo’s fan service is excellent, and a show so focused on fan service would never succeed unless it was good, really good.  The show focuses on a few girls, but has a great ensemble cast full of all sorts of girls of varying shapes, sizes, age, and color.  Two points of clarification, there are very few different colored women, none of which are black, and that’s a bummer, and two while they vary in age all girls in the series are over eighteen years of age which we’ll discuss further down this post.  Back to the subject at hand, how to properly handle “tasteless fan service.” Keijo’s fan service is omnipresent, leaking into every scene.  This means it’s not a major shock when a butt fully envelopes the screen, it’s expected and not even that distracting.  This differs from a majority of shows that feel the need to randomly insert their characters in compromising positions so that the viewer gets a better look at their body.  It’s low hanging fruit but let’s compare this to Sword Art Online, it makes an easy comparison because pretty much everyone has seen it and most know its flaws.  SAO II episode one while introducing new female protagonist Xion pans up her body while she lays down in a sniper position.  The camera literally stops and does a quick zoom on her ass before finishing the shot.  It’s disgusting, it’s distracting, and it feels completely out of place in a show that intends to be about technology and coping with grief.  

The other most important thing about the fan service, aside from the age, is the fact that all of the girls are complicit in the fan service.  They might be shy, and a bit embarrassed, but they are never forced into a compromising situation against their will.  There seems to be this prevailing idea in anime that anime characters are cuter if they are pure, but we also need to see them without clothes on because of course we do.  This results in a number of horrible tropes that need to stop, the most prevalent, light novel guy walks in on light novel girl changing.  It’s almost always the establishing shot for their relationship over the series and I just hate it.  The other trope is somehow even worse, girls in fan service shows need to stop being raped! People generally consider Asuna’s rape scene in the second arc of Sword Art to be the beginning of the decline which is absurd considering Silica was sexually assaulted by a plant in the first twelve episodes and no one seemed to care.  It’s so gross and so often over looked.  There’s nothing wrong with a girl being okay showing her body, and if an anime character is going to be undressed, I hope that character is willfully undressed. This goes a long way to help make your characters actual characters and not simply objects.  I think the girls are surely still being objectified, but there’s a difference between looking at a Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition and looking at leaked celebrity nude photos.  The context matters and Keijo gets the context right.  Our secondary protagonist Miyata even admits that she started Keijo because she wanted a cute swimsuit made custom for her and I think that’s something all of the viewers would also like!

 This show did far better in the west than in Japan, and that’s largely thanks to the way it was adapted. Xebec isn’t exactly known for its great adaptations; in fact I’d argue they generally suck.  Their best known for To Love Ru and Shaman King; two shows that don’t do a lot to improve upon their source material.  Most recently they were responsible for the horribly bad Clockwork Planet.  Apparently that’s actually a pretty good light novel, which should be no surprise considering it’s written by Kamiya Yuu, the celebrated author of No Game No Life. I can’t speak to the actual quality of the Clockwork Planet books because the first episode of the show turned me off of anything that has to do with it.  Point being adaptation is not a strength of Xebec, hell Xebec doesn’t honestly have a ton of strengths aside from their willingness to get smuttier than other studios if that’s your thing.  

This is entirely different in Keijo, the adaptation is immaculate, and makes it far more appealing to a western audience.  For starters, the anime skips the entire first arc where our two female leads are still in high school and under the age of 18.  The girls first appear in their bathing suits in the anime after entering the Keijo training school.  In the manga there are multiple battles that take place before this while the girls are learning Keijo for the first time at the stadium event shown at the start of the first episode.  This arc is also gross for western fans for a number of reasons on top of age.  For some reason at this point in the manga guys are allowed to compete in these non official Keijo matches.  Guys of course only compete for the opportunity to rub up against girls in swimwear.  Girls who, I’ll reiterate again because it’s important, at this point are underage.  There’s also a ton of guys in this manga, which is weird considering there’s really only one in the anime and he’s less of a creep more of a sports fan.  The men in the Keijo manga come to watch and gamble on Keijo and are depicted as perverse onlookers.  Nozomi’s teacher is one such male who has a gambling addiction and comments on his underage student’s physique more than once. The anime made the right decision removing him from the series.  This first arc also has an extremely uncomfortable and short lived love interest in the form of Nozomi’s brother.  They might actually be cousins, the translation I read wasn’t exactly clear on that, but still something western audiences always frown upon.  His feelings are never reciprocated by our star Nozomi, but the whole situation is uncomfortable, especially since he’s eager to jump in and battle her in her first mock Keijo match.  There’s also more preliminary try outs the anime totally skips and that’s to the show’s benefit because again the girls are underage, and it cuts out a plethora of characters that don’t matter at all.  The adaptation also does a great job with its references, choosing series that are particularly popular in western fandom. Attack on Titan and Fate/Stay Night are popular around the world, but really struck a chord in the states and Keijo very obviously references these shows multiple times to great effect. Other references to Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, One Piece, and Dragon Ball are all also greatly appreciated and largely absent from the manga.  

Keijo performed very well in weekly viewership numbers, both legally and illegally, but was quickly written off by most.  Everyone who watched it seemed to enjoy it, but wrote it off as “just another fan service show” and that’s unfair.  It stands out among its peers, and should be celebrated as such.  It was ranked the fifth most popular show according to Myanimelist, beating out shows with more popular appeal in pedigree like Occultic;Nine, Izetta the Last Witch, and season 2 of Ajin.  It also beat out several truly spectacular shows in Sound Euphonium season 2, Flip Flappers, and the fifth season of Natsume’s Book of Friends. This wouldn’t have happened if it was “just another fan service show.” If you’re still in need of proof that season had just another an service show, it was Brave Witches, a fairly tasteless follow up to a reasonably successful show about young flying military girls who don’t wear pants for some unknown reason.  People talk about Keijo as if it’s like Brave Witches, and no one talks about Brave Witches because no one cares.  It might be easy to right it off if you don’t watch a lot of fan service shows, but let me tell you Keijo is special.  I’ve lived in Trash Mountain for some time and am an expert in awful anime fan service, please don’t compare Keijo to that garbage; it’s far too good for that. Keijo is excellent! End of statement, no caveats no excuses, it’s really great.  The show is easily the best thing director Takahashi Hideya has ever helmed. It’s arguably the best series Xebec has ever produced solo, inarguably the best this decade.  I love Keijo, and I hope someday fans look back on it with the respect it earned.  

 8.5/10

[translationandbetrayals]

A compressive guide of Touhou Project! Part 1 – What is Touhou?

Do you recognize these characters? From left to right they are Reimu Hakurei and Marisa Kirisame. From what anime are they from? Well... From no one, but they have a couple of animes.

These were pretty commons questions when I started in this fandom 9 years ago. So, if you didn’t know these answers, you are in the right place.

Today we’re going to make a beginner friendly guide about one of my favorite games of all times! Touhou Project. So, first thing first.

What is Touhou?

Well, it’s a video game, but not just that. But we are going to get to that point soon. Being specific, Touhou is a series of a Japanese Shoot ‘em up game (Being even more specific, is in the category of the Bullet Hell type) where you take control of one of the main characters to resolve the incident that is presented in every instalment. Simple stuff, right? It is developed by Team Shanghai Alice who is composed by the one man-army himself Jun'ya Ōta (Yeah… He is the only member of his team…), also more known as his pseudonym ZUN.

ZUN the man behind the series

Shoot ‘em what!? Bullet Hell? What is a bullet hell?

Shoot em’ up is a subgenre of video games where you usually have your character/spaceship shooting to many enemies in the screen while dodging its attacks. Things like Space Invaders, Gradius, Aerofighters and many others. In summary you just shoot thing up.

Screenshot of Aerofighters II

Bullet Hell in the other hand we can call it a sub-subgenre of the Shoot em’ up, and is all about dodging the enemy’s attacks, you got a curtain of bullet coming at you and intricate patterns of attacks where you really need to focus in your movement to dodge every single one of the bullets in the screen while trying to keep destroying the hordes of enemies that appear during the game. The Japanese term for this concept is Danmaku.

Pretty neat isn’t it? Good luck in avoiding being hit by those.

I got that… But why is so good?

There are many points to talk about this, so I’m going to point out the most important things about them.

Characters: Every single one of the characters that appear in the game is particularly memorable. Most of the time they are bishoujo versions of diverse monsters, spirits and demons of the Japanese folklore (the so called yōkai), and some other monsters from others culture as well. They have their own backstory usually explained in a little dialogue before each boss fight, they have their own musical theme and even some bosses become playable in later games too. All in all, this make every single character of the cast to be enjoyable and memorable, even the ones that appear just once in the game!

And this is something pretty hard to achieve from the point of view of a video game developer, how can you make that the player remember every single one of the characters of the game, and over 180 characters across all the games of the series? Well, ZUN can do it.

Hong Meiling is like Bobba Fett in Star Wars, she appears just one time in a game and her popularity grow immense! She started appearing in later games too.

Mythology: As I said before, ZUN transform myths and youkais from the Japanese culture to bishoujo characters for his game, so here we have an amalgam of the Japanese and other countries folklore and ZUN’s own story. So, there is a lot of room to cultural and historical references in the game, and of course some others pop cultural references that the developer isn’t afraid to show.

Remilia Scarlet is a Vampire and the final boss of the 6th release of the game in 2002. As you can see, ZUN didn't draw that well, but he has been improving.

ZUN isn't ashamed to put some references from Jojo neither. (Sure, this scene is from the anime adaptation of 2012, but is a reference to the manga of 1987)

Music: This is probably one of the strongest points in the series. The creator himself has stated in multiple times that he first composes a musical theme and then he creates a character or a stage to fit in that melody. In the end, we have a game with an excellent soundtrack aside with musical themes that fit with every single character. This will help us greatly to remember the characters from Touhou.

The Community: I’m not going to say something like “This is the best videogame community that have ever existed” because, as we know, every single fan-communities have some cancer in it. And Touhou is no exception to this. BUT what I can ensure, is that Touhou community is one of the largest and more active communities of all times. You don’t believe me? Oh… You should.

I still have that torrent to download almost 2 Terabytes (2048 Gigabytes) of arranges covers of the music of Touhou. We’re not talking about just a couple of fan covers that some fan makes to upload to his YouTube channel about video game covers. We’re talking about Bands that born only with the intension to create covers of his favorite music from this game. We’re talking about bands and circles that periodically release new albums to sell it to the indie (or so called doujin) market in Japan in massive events like Comiket or Reitaisai. And this is ONLY the music, you can find a complete world in fan-created mangas (Doujinshi) and fangames. We can have an entire post only for this topic (and is, exactly what I’m going to do) so let’s just end with: ZUN really likes the fan creations of his own game and he have no problems with them being commercialized.

The Comiket has been held in Tokyo Big Sight since 1996. May be you recognize this building from some anime like Steins;Gates or Kobayashi-san Chi no Maid Dragon.

Woah… That’s impressive, but the game looks hard as hell... Why should I play it?

You should try it because, as a game Touhou is a pretty fun game. Have a simple and intuitive gameplay of the Shoot ‘em up, just pick the upgrades in the screen and keep destroying things with your bullets for 6 stages. Remember, if you’re in danger just drop one bomb and with a spectacular and flashy light show all your problems are gone! Also, the game has tons of different characters across all the games, for a mere probability issue, you will like at least one of them. Haha.  And of course, you will not be disappointed with the gorgeous soundtrack of any of the games.

About the difficult… Yeah… It will take you some practice to beat the game, but I guess that is part of the joy of the game. I have absolutely no shame to admit that I play the game in Easy Mode until I can finally beat it, because the first dozen of tries I made in Normal Mode when I just picked up the game, I couldn’t pass the level 3. It’s was a matter of time till I finally even beat the Extra Stage (A bonus stage with the hardest boss in the game). So, just don’t give up and keep trying!

Don't listen/read to them.

You convinced me… How can I play it?

This is the best part, Touhou is finally in Steam! You can play right now for free the Demo of the last game here! Touhou 17 ~ Wily Beast and Weakest Creature. (Link!) The complete game should be release in August of this year for around 15 dollars (In Chile, the price is around 6400 Pesos). Or you could try the other release in Steam, Touhou 16 ~ Hidden Star in Four Seasons (Link!).

And don’t worry about the number 16 or 17, you don’t really need to play any other game of the series to have a good time with this new release. As I said before, most of the time the story of every game is basically the same. There is an incident on the village -> Our Heroines go to beat the hell of the evil girls -> They solve the problem and drink some sake to celebrate. The story is spiced up with a lot of cultural reference, interesting characters, mythology and a huge etc. There is a whole wiki dedicated to it. Check it out If you like the stories that Touhou has to offer. You will find a lot of information about your favorites characters there!

I don’t really like this genre… I don’t really think this is for me…

SAY NO MORE, there is a lot (A LOT) of fangames and other more things about Touhou than… Touhou itself, is such an irony. So, I’m going to point out some of my favorite fan games that have another type of gameplay but with the thematic of Touhou. Unfortunately, some of them aren’t in Steam, so Google will be your friend.

MegaMari: If Megaman is your thing, you should definitely try this out. It will be a good challenge.

TouhouVania I & II: Well, The official names are Koumajou Densetsu - Scarlet Symphony and Koumajou Densetsu 2 - Stranger's Requiem. As the name suggest, they’re a mix of the classic Castlevania and Touhou, where you can see a marvelous gothic version of the characters. These are my personal favorite Touhou Fangames of all the times.

Touhou Puppet Dance Performance: This is a Pokemon-like fangame. One of the best versions of this type of RPG.

Touhoumon: There’s a lot of Pokemon ROM Hacks of Touhou out there. You will find most of them by this name.

Touhou 12.3 and Touhou 15.5: What are these names? Oh… Yeah… I forgot to mention that Touhou have a couple of officials Spins-off. 12.3 and 15.5 are the official Fighting games of the series. They are pretty good, and Touhou 15.5 is in Steam too! (Link!)

Touhou Luna Nights: A Metroidvania type where you explore the map and search for upgrades to your character in order to access to the other areas of the game. It’s in Steam! (Link!)

Touhou Rhythm Carnival! Kurenai: A collection of rhythm mini games like Rhythm Heaven series.

Today you can find in Steam and in the Nintendo Switch eShop a bunch of others fangames too, so It’s worth to check them out.

Well this was a hell of a post, and as I said, in the next part we’re going to talk more about the diverse non-game fan-related media that Touhou have. So, I leave you with a couple of memes of ZUN for the tradition.

This was literally the first image that appeared me when I searched ZUN in Google.

Fun fact: ZUN is a beer lover. (He makes the games while is drunk. No joke)

And finally, a photo of ZUN and his wife <3. (I have no idea who is the lady in the left though…)

See you in the next dream…

Enrique Valdés

[recentanimenews]

Staff Picks: Our Favorite Anime of 2019

Welcome to the third post of our annual “Staff Picks,” in which the Ani-Gamers team selects some of our favorite anime, manga, and video games of the past year. This time we’re covering anime!

If you’re strictly looking at the anime output of 2019, it was yet another great year. An ambitious second season of Mob Psycho 100, highly anticipated CG productions like Promare and Beastars (still not available on Netflix!), a new music-focused series from Shinichiro Watanabe (Cowboy Bebop), and Netflix’s big US-Japan co-production of Cannon Busters, among many others. On top of that, Evangelion made its triumphant return to North America thanks to Netflix, stirring up some new controversy along the way.

Unfortunately, all that good stuff was clouded by the worst anime news in decades: a brutal arson attack at Kyoto Animation that left 36 people dead, 33 more injured, and many of the studio’s production materials and digital backups destroyed. The attack represented not only a major tragedy for the anime industry, but the worst mass murder in post-war Japanese history. The victims included acclaimed veterans like Yoshiji Kigami and countless young artists, many of them just out of college and eager to begin work at their dream job. KyoAni was one of the few studios with a reputation for treating their workers with the dignity that they deserve, making the loss of their talented, passionate staff all the more painful. Thankfully, KyoAni has managed to gather a huge number of donations from fans to support the victims’ families and the studio has resumed production, with the new Violet Evergarden movie scheduled for April 2020.

Below, Ink and Evan have listed some of their favorite anime titles of 2019, covering TV series and movies, action series and comedies. Enjoy, and feel free to chime in with your own 2019 picks in the comments.

Ink

#3: The Magnificent Kotobuki

It’s not that I see this title qualifying as one of the best anime of the year, it’s just that, as a WWII plane otaku and airshow enthusiast, The Magnificent Kotobuki (TMK) is one of my personal favorite anime from this past year. Watching TMK is like watching someone play Crimson Skies: High Road to Revenge but with much more attention paid to the planes’ mechanical details and exterior wear as well as some very convincing weight dynamics applied to the dogfights. (The dogfights, by the way, range from intimate 1-on-1’s to squad based to air force against air force (and everything in-between) – all presented in loving detail with so many different angles and approaches that they are definitely the stars of the show.) The characters, save Captain Dodo (the stone-faced badass pictured above), are superfluous, but there’s a fair amount of comedy (mostly stock but some original gags) that works well because of the characters and how they’re used that keeps the show entertaining even when not in the air. The only downside, and it isn’t much of one, is the 3DCG animation used most noticeably for the characters; it stands out like a sore thumb against more organic backgrounds, but not so much as to make the show unwatchable. I looked forward to each episode release every single week.

#2: Wasteful Days of High School Girls

I stand by my original description of Wasteful Days of High School Girls (WDoHSG) as Teekyu x Azumanga Daioh with a load of wit via well-placed running gags and impeccably timed, snarky one-liners. It’s cast is a large ensemble, and the show does well via piecemeal introductions that eventually allow the characters’ traits and tendencies to be expressed and received differently depending on which characters are present – the depiction thereof, as someone prone to excessive compartmentalization, I appreciate quite a bit. Watching people bounce off of other people to varying degrees is great, and the aforementioned timing, crucial to any comedy, is spot-on, but WDoHSG also leverages repetition of animation and situational cuts to great effect. I’d be failing the show completely if I did not mention its AOPOTY (Anime OP of the Year), which consists of an all-female (VA-sung), almost nonsensical, gag-filled rap/pop track ("Wa! Moon! dass! cry!") that initially backs the narrative of a photo-bombing Tanaka as she takes candids of her friends (the cast) and later delves into visual gags and welcome randomness that gets more fun as you get to know the characters. WDoHSG is nothing deep, but it’s a show that consistently makes me belly laugh, and that’s exactly what I needed this year.

#1: Carole & Tuesday

After watching the initial trailer for Shinichiro Watanabe’s new music-focused joint, I was skeptical; the guitar playing animation seemed loose, how much could you do with a keyboard, and something just felt off in general. (Watanabe has said he doesn’t like loose depictions of music being played — one of the reasons Kids on the Slope was so intricately animated.) I was very happy to put my initial impressions behind me, however, very soon after I started watching the series proper. It’s a title with a ton of heart that wants to resolve issues stemming from socio-economic disparity through the creation of art. The topic of privileged creator vs. struggling artist is addressed too lightly and almost dismissed via casual acceptance in the first season; resolutions come a little too easily, and arguments that should be had are, for the most part, laughed off in the face of loneliness/desperation. That, however, feeds into the show’s main focus which is healing and growth through friendship and creation/expression — coming together to be something more than yourself by being a part of something greater to which you personally contribute. And that really sets up the second cour. The pacing is rushed but no unacceptable, and the characters are as charming as they are amusing (and vice-versa), but the main reason why this is my favorite of the year is simply that it got me to watch an in-series version of a reality TV show that was, itself, fun, funny, and increasingly tense.

Evan Minto

#3: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 5: Golden Wind

The hits keep on coming for JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. Following up on last year’s excellent Diamond is Unbreakable, Golden Wind takes us to Italy to check in on Giorno Giovanna, the son of infamous vampire Dio. Golden Wind’s cast lacks the easy charm of Josuke, Okuyasu, Koichi, and Rohan, and it’s hard to hold a candle to Yoshikage Kira in the villain department, but at least for me the leads aren’t the real stars of this show. In Golden Wind, Araki’s overactive imagination seems to get a bit of a power-up, as everything from the costumes to the Stand powers becomes even less plausible (and thus, better). Characters walk around wearing entire outfits riddled with holes for fashion reasons. Enemy stands can do things like accelerate the aging of everyone in a train or — get this — spawn a baby assassin out of a briefcase. David Production, too, are at the top of their game on this latest adaptation, continuing their strong command of Araki’s unique character design style while bringing in new animators to craft dazzling action and effects sequences. Stone Ocean is on the horizon and I couldn’t be more excited.

#2: Mob Psycho 100 II

When it comes to anime adaptations of ONE manga series, I was always a One-Punch Man guy — there’s nothing quite like watching the coolest action concepts crumble into dust under the scrutiny of ONE’s sardonic, anticlimactic sense of humor. But 2019 brought us second seasons for both of his big series, and let’s put it this way: I didn’t even bother with the second season of One-Punch. Mob Psycho 100 Season 2 is a stellar follow-up to what was already an excellent first season (it was one of my Staff Picks back in 2016). The season picks up thematically where the previous one left off, as psychic middle-schooler Mob seeks self-improvement and greater self-confidence. Sometimes the show’s character arcs feel like retreads (the faux-psychic con man Reigen is as devious and manipulative as ever), but then it unexpectedly dives down dramatic avenues that push the characters to their breaking points. More than anything else, however, Mob Psycho is worth watching for the dazzling artistry on display in nearly every frame of every sequence. Action scenes crackle with energy, and the animators spare no expense detailing the supersonic whiplash and earth-rending force of the series’ many psychic battles. What has always set Mob Psycho above the rest, though, is the fact that even the scenes of daily life are beautifully animated, full of loose, expressive, and frequently laugh-out-loud funny character acting. This is one of the best-looking shows in years, and highly recommended for any fans of great animation.

#1: Promare

No anime experience of 2019 can compare to sitting in the largest ballroom at Anime Expo in Los Angeles, cheering and hooting along with the crowd as I watched Promare for the first time. Studio Trigger’s first feature film plays out like a compressed version of Kill la Kill and Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann; it’s one magnificent set piece after another, strung together by a series of unlikely twists and betrayals. The gags are fast and exceedingly dumb, the characters are larger than life, and oh yeah, it’s about gay firefighters duking it out with eco-fascists. On top of that, the film’s eye-popping, candy-colored world is powered by a groundbreaking 2-D/3-D hybrid production, utilizing the best talent at both Trigger and their sister studio Sanzigen and merging their two styles into a unified whole. Promare may not be my favorite from its creative team (Kill la Kill and Gurren Lagann are tough acts to follow), but it provided me with more pure, unpretentious fun than anything else this year. I liked it so much I made a whole damn website to celebrate it!

Check out our 2019 Manga Staff Picks and 2019 Video Game Staff Picks too!

Staff Picks: Our Favorite Anime of 2019 originally appeared on Ani-Gamers on January 9, 2020 at 2:47 AM.

By: Ink

[recentanimenews]

Bookshelf Briefs 12/12/17

Captain Harlock: Dimensional Voyage, Vol. 2 | By Leiji Matsumoto and Kouiti Shimaboshi | Seven Seas – Harlock has a scar. This is useful information in this volume, as in some panels it’s the only way to tell that you��re looking at him and not Tadashi, who has that same hair that seems to be blowing in the wind even in the corridors of a spaceship. The highlight of this second volume, though, may be the flashback to the first meeting of Harlock and Tochiro, which we’ve seen before in other adaptations and no doubt will again, but is always fun to show off what a badass Tochiro is despite looking like a short creepy guy. There’s also more drama from the Mazon, who now have a bounty out on Harlock. Dimensional Voyage continues to be a decent adaptation in any case. – Sean Gaffney

Cells at Work!, Vol. 5 | By Akane Shimizu | Kodansha Comics – We reunite with a cell with a history of befriending germs. He’s feeling lonely and bored, and wishes he could save someone and earn their gratitude. The chance presents itself and he ends up saving… some cute bacteria. Turns out, they’re good bacteria, and the whole volume consists of White Blood Cell giving the cell a tour of the digestive system, during which each variety of good bacteria finds its specialty and ends up saving the day. The cell bravely protects the bacteria throughout, and meanwhile we get an actually fairly dramatic return of Cancer Cell who is being protected by a regulatory cell, and who pitches his version of utopia in which the body’s cells revolt and refuse to kill each other for the body’s sake. There was almost some kind of plot there for a second! All in all, this was a pretty fun volume. – Michelle Smith

A Centaur’s Life, Vol. 13 | By Kei Murayama | Seven Seas – You never quite know from chapter to chapter what kind of Centaur’s Life you’ll get. Sometimes the “wtf” comes from the historical or political chapters, such as the retelling of the movie The Thing with snakes, or the ongoing war with the frogs (and their human advisor). But oftentimes it’s also with our main cast. We get another chapter devoted to Michi and Mitsu, the lesbian couple in the series, which shows us that one is the heir to a yakuza family, complete with assassination attempts. And sometimes there’s bizarre dream sequences, like Suu and Hime setting fire to the creepiest “factory” you’ve ever seen. Sure, sometimes we get adorable toddler sequences, but they’re fewer and fewer in number. The author has dreams, that’s for sure. – Sean Gaffney

Food Wars!: Shokugeki no Soma, Vol. 21 | By Yuto Tsukuda and Shun Saeki | Viz Media – More exams, and much as I’m enjoying these chapters the arc is already feeling dragged out. Turns out that when you actively try to suppress the resisters by cheating, it doesn’t work, as they’re clever enough—and good enough chefs—to get around such petty tricks. Which leaves more time for sightseeing in Hokkaido and bonding with unusual pairings—I was amused at seeing Ikumi, Isami, Erina and Megumi walking around town and thinking it’s an unusual group, only for Isami to say the exact same thing. Things may get harder soon, though, as now Soma has to fight Hayama, and the ingredient is absolutely stacked in his favor. Is this the end for our hero? Well, no. But find out why next time. – Sean Gaffney

Giant Killing, Vol. 8 | By Masaya Tsunamoto and Tsujitomo | Kodansha Comics (digital only) – ETU’s game against Osaka continues, though it’s not going well, as the first half ends with the score 2-0. And yet Tatsumi smirks, sure that his counterattack is going to be effective. Soon, though, it becomes clear that he had misjudged Natsuki’s confidence, as the latter fumbles chance after chance that his teammates worked their butts off to create. Seeing the continued growth of ETU members is great, but I also really liked getting a glimpse inside the mind of Kubota, one of the Osaka forwards, who looks plain and unassuming, but who makes great split-second decisions (wholly unlike Natsuki) and who spurs Tsubaki to greatness. I kind of want him to join ETU, in fact, though that seems unlikely. The volume concludes before the match does, so I am definitely looking forward to volume nine! – Michelle Smith

Haikyu!!, Vol. 18 | By Haruichi Furudate | VIZ Media – Karasuno has made it to the finals of the qualifying round, where they’re up against the prefectural favorite, Shiratorizawa. They lost the first set, but in the second they’re starting to get a hang for how to combat their powerhouse rival. Surprisingly, Tsukishima is utterly key to this, as he’s the one who figures out some of their patterns and timing, and starts blocking them in such a way that allows Nishinoya to do his thing. Somehow, Tsukishima has really endeared himself to me lately, and I love seeing him actually get fired up and relentless about something in his own way. (I also adored the Potteresque poster at the end featuring him!) The volume ends with each team struggling to make two consecutive points and take the second set. How does this series manage to become even more nail-bitey each time?! Not that I’m complaining. – Michelle Smith

Haikyu!!, Vol. 18 | By Haruichi Furudate | Viz Media – The evolution of Tsukishima from “tall grumpy asshole” to “CLEVER tall grumpy asshole” has been highly rewarding, and this volume shows off his maturation to excellent effect, to the point where he actually leads some of the strategy. He’d do well in JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, I think. Nishinoya is also impressive throughout, and there are the occasional moments for our two leads. It’s still a tight game, though, and we get a lot of chapters devoted to showing us that while they have one really talented guy, that’s not quite all they have. The cliffhanger shows us veering back and forth between set points, but this is best 3-of-5, so I’m sure we have a ways to go. Excellent sports manga. – Sean Gaffney

Helvetica Standard: Italic | By Keiichi Arawi | Vertical Comics – As with the first volume, we start with the Helvetica Standard 4-komas. They have the strange sense of humor we know and love from Arawi, but do suffer a bit from lacking a lovable main cast—there are some recurring roles, but it’s even more random than Nichijou was. After this we get the original art that was used for the DVD/Blu-Ray covers, and again I like the way he works surreal art styles into them. He enjoys playing with the space given to him, sometimes in a very Escher way, and dislikes leaving blank space when he can fill it with something else. This is inessential, but I was pleased to see it anyway, and it’s whetted my appetite for the new series City in the spring. -Sean Gaffney

Kuroko’s Basketball, Vol. 17-18 | By Tadatoshi Fujimaki | Viz Media – As you’d expect, Seirin have managed to score some points by the end of this omnibus, so they aren’t shut out. Things still aren’t looking good, though, despite their amazing secret weapon—Kuroko actually shooting and scoring! He’s sort of hit-and-miss, but it’s another unpredictable aspect to his game. Things aren’t going nearly as well for Kagami, who’s finding it very hard to get past the huge and somewhat arrogant Murasakibara on the other team. He wants to get back in ‘the zone,’ but easier said than done. As for Kiyoshi, well, he’s still injured, and thus can’t contribute the way he wants. Though hopefully Riko beating the injury out of him offscreen may help. Exciting stuff. – Sean Gaffney

Queen’s Quality, Vol. 2 | By Kyousuke Motomi | Viz Media – After some terrifying sequences last time, we’re dealing with the aftermath—a lot of the students that Ms. Hayashi had been “dealing with” are also infested with bugs. As for Ms. Hayashi herself, she’s dying—and only Fumi seems to want to try to take the “save her” option. Of course, saving her might involve becoming the Black Queen again, but Fumi is able to move past that and become… possibly Fuyu? Whoever it is that takes over Fumi, she brings a memory of the traumatic death of her mother with her. But it’s not all drama and thrilling tension—Fumi’s choice of a weapon to fight with is a gag that will make you laugh hysterically, something Motomi excels at. Definitely recommended for shoujo fans. – Sean Gaffney

Waiting for Spring, Vol. 3 | By Anashin | Kodansha Comics – This third volume shows off more of the love triangle between Mitsuki, Towa and Aya, but two of those three are just so awkward that there’s not really any danger of sparks flying—even the one-on-one basketball game between the two guys is cut short by Mitsuki, who has a sneaking suspicion it would go badly for Towa. We also get the addition of another female friend, not always something that happens in a shoujo series. She’s shy but also straightforward, and has a pretty obvious crush, so I hope their friendship can survive things. This isn’t top-drawer shoujo, but it’s pleasant enough, and the lead girl is indecisive but not dragged around by the plot as much as some. – Sean Gaffney

Welcome to the Ballroom, Vol. 8 | By Tomo Takeuchi | Kodansha Comics – It’s not that this volume of Welcome to the Ballroom is bad by any stretch, but for 99% of it, Tatara and Chinatsu are failing to communicate as partners, and it’s a bit excruciating. I suppose enduring this does make it all the sweeter when they finally achieve a few measures of harmony whilst competing in the Metropolitan Tournament, though. I did enjoy seeing Tatara briefly looking manly, and it seems like he’s on the verge of overcoming his timid personality. There are a couple of brief panels that look like Tatara’s mother abandoning the family when Tatara was a kid, which suggests he’s afraid to drive people away by really expressing himself, but Chinatsu is just the one to demand that from him. After all of their struggles, it sure will be gratifying to see them get it together. – Michelle Smith

By: Michelle Smith