#its not cheating if youre not exclusive in the first place. right.

[untitledrockstar-if]

Mara, will R at least be the only one cheating on us? I don't want my MC to hop from one to the other cheater. Throw everything else at MC, just not this - again. Please? 😅

depends on how you look at it 😩

[vetyr]

hi, i ireally love your work and i don't know if you've answered this before but, what kinds of studies do you do or how did you learn color theory? i wanna get better at rendering and anatomy but im having trouble TT TT

Hi! Long answer alert. Once a chatterbox, always a chatterbox.

When I started actively learning how to draw about 10 1/2 years ago, I exclusively did graphite studies in sketchbooks. Here's a few examples—I mostly stuck to doing line drawings to drill basic shapes/contours and proportions into my brain. The more rendered sketches helped me practice edge control & basic values, and they were REALLY good for learning the actual 3D structure behind what I was drawing.

I'd use reference images that I grabbed from fitness forums, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, and some NSFW places, but you could find adequate ref material from figure drawing sites like Line of Action. LoA has refs for people (you can filter by clothed/unclothed, age, & gender), animals, expressions, hands/feet, and a few other useful things as well. Love them.

Learning how to render digitally was a similar story; it helped a lot that I had a pretty strong foundation for value/anatomy going in. I basically didn't touch color at all for ~2 years (except for a few attempts at bad digital or acrylic paint studies), which may not have been the best idea. I learned color from a lot of trial and error, honestly, and I'm pretty sure this process involved a lot of imitation—there were a number of digital/traditional painters whose styles I really wanted to emulate (notably their edge control, color choices, value distributions, and shape design), so I kiiind of did a mixture of that + my own experimentation.

For example, I really found Benjamin Björklund's style appealing, especially his softened/lost edges & vibrant pops of saturated color, so here's a study I did from some photograph that I'm *pretty* sure was painted with him in mind.

Learning how to detail was definitely a slow process, and like all the aforementioned things (anatomy/color/edge control/values/etc.) I'm still figuring it out. Focusing on edge control first (that is, deciding on where to place hard/soft edges for emphasizing/de-emphasizing certain areas of the image) is super useful, because you can honestly fool a viewer into thinking there's more detail in a piece than there actually is if you're very economical about where you place your hard edges.

The most important part, to me, is probably just doing this stuff over and over again. You're likely not going to see improvement in a few weeks or even a few months, so don't fret about not getting the exact results you want and just keep studying + making art. I like to think about learning art as a process where you *need* to fail and make crappy art/studies—there's literally no way around it—so you might as well fail right now. See, by making bad art you're actually moving forward—isn't that a fun prospect!!

It's useful to have a folder with art you admire, especially if you can dissect the pieces and understand why you like them so much. You can study those aspects (like, you can redraw or repaint that person's work) and break down whether this is art that you just like to look at, or if it's the kind of art that you want to *make.* There's a LOT of art out there that I love looking at, probably tens of thousands of styles/mediums, but there's a very narrow range that I want to make myself.

I've mentioned it in some ask reply in the past, but I really do think looking at other artist's work is such a cheat code for improving your own skills—the other artist does the work to filter reality/ideas for you, and this sort of allows you to contact the subject matter more directly. I can think of so many examples where an artist I admired exaggerated, like, the way sunlight rested on a face and created that orange fringe around its edge, or the greys/dull blues in a wheat field, or the bright indigo in a cast shadow, or the red along the outside of a person's eye, and it just clicked for me that this was a very available & observable aspect of reality, which had up until that point gone completely unnoticed! If you're really perceptive about the art you look at, it's shocking how much it can teach you about how to see the world (in this particular case I mean this literally, in that the art I looked at fully changed the way I visually processed the world, but of course it has had a strong effect on my worldviews/relationships/beliefs).

Thanks so much for sending in a question (& for reading, if you got this far)! I read every single ask I receive, including the kind words & compliments, which I genuinely always appreciate. Best of luck with learning, my friend :)

[seirindono]

How do you happen to do your shading id you don't mind sharing? Its so subtle and soft that you can't tell its there but it really helps highlight the characters

Phew, finally got some time on my hand to answer this one! It's a fairly simple/fast process so I figured I'd make a tuto once I'd get started on the shading for the next part, and here we are!

Alright so, we've got the panel (lazy screenshots cuz I'll never finish this if I have to export everytime ahah)

The advantage of digital art is that I don't have to think about color harmonies right from the start, I can always add filters and fiddle with the hues at any stage, so I just apply base colors at first and draw the background (it will help me build up a palette for the shadows later).

Okay, now the fun really begins. First I need to know which direction my shadows are likely to go and what atmosphere I want for the panel (which element I want to highlight? palette idea? etc). A sketch is enough to establish your intentions. Sometimes I'll mess up the lighting but it's okay to cheat if it looks coherent enough xD

(Patreons exclusive, shhh)

Now to create palette and apply the said shadows. I have a hand made one for TMS, but I had to make a special one for Ebott since there's a lot bg and kinda heavier atmosphere (I'll prbly have to make one for each part frow now on too hm). It's mostly made up of blues and greens (no black or greys here, but it can be fun to use in other styles! Purple too, so have fun!)

(My configuration - Produit=multiply?)

There, cast shadows (clothes, faces, folds, etc.) are roughly in place and looking sharp! Maybe a little bit too sharp actually... Let's smooth all that up

I use an airbrush eraser to soften a few shadows. Not necessarily all of them or the whole shape, you have to find the right balance of soft/sharp.

Now to spice things up a bit-

On a layer linked to the shadow layer, I add a lighter color that matches my light source or the environnement. Here it's a light blue, but in part VII I used a lot of orange (sun)! It makes the shadow much richer and the whole palette more vibrant!

(Again, you don't have to do it on all of them)

(not sure if you can see it lol but there's orange!)

And last but not least: Global shadow and filters (? never had to name or translate it bwahaha)

It's a lot of fiddling to achieve a result where the character looks more or less rooted in the background (=blue layers and filters to harmonize colors) and where I draw the last shadows. They're often the biggest ones (=on Axe's body+ leaf/tree shadows etc.).

You can use the techniques I've described above, or just go for it, it's completely freewheeling from here, ahem. Just make sure to step back regularly to see where you're at and stop.

(You can also add lights layers and spots if it's too dark but in this example, I use the base color as a light layer + their skulls are such a bright white already xD )

A bit of blur and ta-da~

Pretty easy, right?

[echoweaver]

Get to Know You - Sims Edition

I was tagged by @hazely-sims. It takes me a while to respond, but I love being tagged.

What’s your favorite Sims death?

I’ve had to do some extreme challenge rules to let my sims die of anything other than old age. I have a difficult time letting my sims take risks that might get them killed. Amusingly, I don’t like that that pets have no other ways to die in the vanilla game because even though I don’t let them die, I want it to be meaningful for me to take care of them. 🤷‍♀️

OTOH, I love ghosts. I’ve added death types for cats and dogs with my Pets mods, and I’ve explored ALL the ghost types ad nauseum to pick ones that go well with those death types. A lot of the most obscure ghosts are the best ones. Vampire Thirst has a beating heart that is really impressive. Mummy’s Curse has neat color effects. Freezing to Death puffs out fog breath. They’re great, and they work seamlessly with pets.

Alpha CC or MaxisMatch?

Almost exclusively MaxisMatch. I used to use a mix, but over time the clash of art styles really started bothering me. Going all-alpha is way more work than all-mm, and I actually enjoy my sims’ lightly cartoony appearance.

Do you cheat your sims weight?

No. I want my sims to have a variety of weights, and I prefer body weight to just be genetic. My second gen heir for the Samples, Lancelot, was pretty heavy, and he was Athletic, so I made him a bodybuilder. Then he passed that physique down to his kids because Sims 🙄. After that, most of my sims have ended up slim by chance. My choice of mate is in-game and almost entirely gameplay driven, so there’s no particular reason partners would be slim or fit.

Do you move objects?

Since I’m very gameplay-driven, you’d think I wouldn’t use it much, but @hazely-sims is right. How can you play without it? If you use the default game restrictions, everything in your house ends up looking like it was place on a grid, which it kinda was.

Favorite Mod?

Good grief. I’m going to set aside NRaas, since that suite is rightly most people’s choice. One mod that’s had a big effect on my game is @flotheory‘s Make a Mess. Toddlers got to be incredibly boring, and EA reacted by creating store content that allowed them to skill themselves and be as unintrusive as possible. That was the wrong choice! Toddlers need to be a big PITA. You need to watch them every minute. That’s a real simulation of toddlerhood!

I also have gotten into more detailed survival simulation with my medieval game. @anitmb‘s Hunting Mod has been a big part of making that fun. Also Ingredients Overhaul and custom harvestables and recipes (psst Plantable Wheat)

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

I played The Sims and TS2, but not very long. I didn’t learn about fan-made challenges until TS3, and that’s when I really fell in love. So that’s the first game I bought expansions for.

Not very creatively, the first one I bought for TS3 was the first one that came out, World Adventures. That seems like a controversial one, but I love it. I guess the Game Pack equivalent for TS3 would be functional store content. I honestly don’t remember what I bought first.

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing

aLIVE. Sims isn’t the only software to have a live mode, and that’s always how I’ve understood it to be pronounced. I didn’t even know people pronounced it like LIVing, but I can see how that would make sense for Sims.

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

I technically haven’t MADE a lot of sims because I’m obsessed with naturally born genetics. I download a lot of sims with interesting faces and load them into my game, then let NRaas StoryProgression pair them off and, using its Advanced Genetics, populate my town with interesting genetic combinations.

Have you made a simself?

Yup! Echo Weaver. Some sim friends over the years have put her in their games too.

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

I am SO SICK of all the TS3 hair presets.

Favorite EA hair?

Another difficult answer. There’s a braided updo that came with one of the expansions that I think looks wonderful on all female sims, but I’d have to look it up. That said, I don’t like repeating hairs in a game very often.

Favorite life stage?

Yeah, adult is where you can do the most stuff. I’m not sure it’s my favorite exactly. I like roleplaying each life stage to build a sim’s personality. My Gen 8 Sample sims are kids, so I’m thinking in kid mode at the moment and really enjoying @olomayasims Void Critters mod. Seems like most of the really fun gameplay for non-YA/Adult comes from mods.

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

I can’t build my way out of a cardboard box. Definitely gameplay. I think this is the wrong question, though, since there are way more options than those two. My answer would probably still be gameplay, but the gameplay wouldn’t be nearly as fun if I weren’t building a story out of it.

Are you a CC creator?

Trick question! I mod, but I don’t art. So it depends on how broadly you mean cc? 😁

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

Definitely have friends! Back in the WordPress days, I made a private Facebook community and invited a bunch of my Sims-playing pals. That was probably a “squad.” These days, I’m here, and I’m friend with folks who read and comment on each other’s stuff. I probably wouldn’t still be here without those relationships.

Do you have any sims merch?

I don’t think I’ve even seen TS3 merch. LOL.

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

I cannot stand watching other people play video games on YouTube unless it’s a tutorial. My play style would be horrible to watch because I go on random tangents to tweak lots and down population in the middle of gameplay. Yeah, I’ll skip that and keep to telling stories with screenshots.

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

I have gotten increasingly wish-driven and more focused on “emergent” sim personality.

Only year 13 or 14 of playing this game, I’ve gotten into challenges that are world aesthetic in addition to gameplay, such as the medieval history challenge (Morbid’s Ultimate Decades Challenge). That involves buckets of cc, a medieval-themed custom world, and a bunch of social rules in addition to just day-to-day gameplay. I want to feel like my games are different experiences.

Since I have trouble making my sims deliberately take risks, and I don’t think I could deliberately kill an active sim, I’ve looked for ways to add hardship into the game. I want to keep my sims relatively poor. I want there to be ways in the challenge for them to die. I want to have real life obstacles for my sims to overcome.

What’s your origin id?

It’s either Echowever or Echoweaver. I misspelled it initially and tried to fix it when EA moved the site to its newer account system. I can’t remember how that turned out. I think it’s Echowever in some places and Echoweaver in others. 🤦‍♀️

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

Gah. I started to answer this 3 times.

I love cc creators! I’m afraid to list any for fear of leaving anyone out who I also love. You’re all amazing!

How long have you had simblr?

I looked this up for a different meme, and I created this account in 2013. I haven’t been on it consistently during that time. I also took a 3-year hiatus from the game entirely and came back during the pandemic.

How do you edit your pictures?

For most of my time storytelling with this game, I haven’t edited my pics at all. In the last year or so, I’ve added ReShade with a pretty unobtrustive preset. mostly just to sharpen things up a bit and improve light quality. I’ve started editing dark shots in Photoshop Elements to increase the light or remove photobombing gui elements.

Not much overall though.

What expansion/ gamepack is your favorite?

Oof with the hard questions. Probably Seasons. The weather and holidays add a lot of depth and character to the gameplay.

Mmmmm. Who to tag? I’m not sure who hasn’t done this yet. @withlovefromayre? @pudding-parade?

[mysticbrose]

The you in me, I will remember

Red is for love, black is for anger, pink is for happiness, yellow is for okayish, white is for satisfaction, and many like that.

The world in which Sunwoo is born is where people are born with rings around their left ring finger which depicts the mood that their soulmate is experiencing. It’s a special kind of feeling knowing what a person who’s exclusively yours is feeling right now.

It’s a special kind of feeling knowing if your soulmate is the angry kind or a bubbly kind or something else.

Sunwoo, with a mostly pink ring around his finger, is always a bit skeptical.

How can a person always be happy? If he hadn’t seen it happening with people around him, he wouldn’t even have believed in it. And so, he waits. For the day he gets to know the name of his soulmate or sees her or meets her as the ring around their finger turns dual color. What he is feeling and what his sweet soulmate is feeling.

He waits for the day they will meet and find out if she really is that kind of person or if it’s just his connection to her that’s broken

But then one day, out of nowhere his ring turns transparent. 

Sunwoo is in the middle of watching a movie and he hates the fact that he didn’t even notice the ring on his finger losing its color, dimming until it finally turns transparent so that people no one would even see a band on his finger.

Sunwoo is hurt and he mourns for a person he never met.

He mourns for the girl and hates that he might never know what happened to her.

Years later, Sunwoo is finally able to move on, with a girl he met in his office. They mesh well as he gets to know that her soulmate cheated on her again and again.

“At least you got to know how he was, I didn’t even meet her once” Sunwoo comments as their date comes to an end.

They keep meeting again and again, and one day, Sunwoo proposes, knowing she might not be his soulmate but they do have a connection of a kind.

The wedding preparations start and although it’s a small affair, (marriage to a non-soulmate is still frowned upon by many) it takes time. 

By the time the wedding is done, Sunwoo can feel a deep pain in his heart, part of his soul weeping for his soulmate.

The girl’s parents come to congratulate him.

“Thank you for making our Minah so happy. It was hard and at one point, we never thought we would be able to see her recover.” Sunwoo listened to his now father-in-law speak but in the middle of it, his ring finger tingled.

“Yes, our poor girls. One lost her life and another is forever gonna live in the guilt that she might be the reason her sister…” but Sunwoo is only half listening because the ring on his finger finally turns to purple.

Purple for confusion and the color deepens as hard as he looks at the ring.

“That girl, my Soyi, gave her all to save Minah” Sunwoo turned the ring. It was still transparent.

“She died while trying to save Minah from her abusive boyfriend”

Cheon Soyi.

Born 14th October 2003.

Loving daughter, brave sister.

Sunwoo cries as he sees her tombstone. It’s not clean, and it's not new, having been in this place for the past 7 years.

The tombstone of his wife’s sister who died trying to save her.

The tombstone of his soulmate.

“Soyi, I have taken a lot of things from you in this life” Sunwoo hears Minah speaking “First your clothes, then your makeup, your life, and now your soulmate. In the next life, please take everything you want from me. Or else I will forever be indebted to my little sister. I have been trying my best to take care of Mom and Dad as I promised. I will take care of Sunwoo too.”

Sunwoo wipes his tears.

“We have never met Soyi ssi. But I think I have known a part of you, of who you were. And I am so glad we are soulmates. In our next lives, let’s definitely meet.”

Sunwoo takes Minah’s hands as they get up, both comforting each other and walk away with promise of living a life of pink.

[aroacedragongirl]

Im just going to answer all of these because why not

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

its complicated

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

my father

03: Do you regret anything?

so many things :)

04: Are you insecure?

definitely

05: What is your relationship status?

single, hoping to stay that way

06: How do you want to die?

preferably painlessly

07: What did you last eat?

Honey bunches of oats with almonds

08: Played any sports?

i did karate for like eight years and hated it for at least like half of that

09: Do you bite your nails?

not really

10: When was your last physical fight?

see #8

11: Do you like someone?

this is a really ambiguous question. not romantically or sexually, thats for sure

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

no

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

yes

14: Do you miss someone?

I miss my friends who have all gone off to college around the country

15: Have any pets?

two dogs and a chinchilla

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

tired and annoyed by my mother

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

nope, never anywhere, for that matter

18: Are you scared of spiders?

no, i think they are cute

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

probably not, because it is impossible to predict the far reaching effects of what you do, and you could irreversibly change your life forever

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

what the fuck does that even mean? actually I dont think i want to know

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

i have no idea right now

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

nope

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

nope

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

calculus, physics, and computer science, probably

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

that is literally the same question as question 14

26: What are you craving right now?

sleep

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

probably by accident at least once without realizing it

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

never been in a relationship

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

never been in a relationship

30: What’s irritating you right now?

upon reading this my entire body spontaneously became itchy, fuck you

31: Does somebody love you?

I think my parents do?

32: What is your favourite color?

purple

33: Do you have trust issues?

definitely

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

I crashed the car that i am borrowing

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

one of my parents, i dont recall which

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

probably

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

i am guilty of both

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

no

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

never have; hoping to continue that

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

no

51: Favourite food?

i wrote an entire essay on this one in response to an ask if you want to know go read that

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

if the consequences of our actions and random chance count then yes, otherwise no

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

game with friends

54: Is cheating ever okay?

I dont think i am qualified to answer this (aroace)

55: Are you mean?

sometimes unintentionally

56: How many people have you fist fought?

complicated answer, see question #08

57: Do you believe in true love?

no

58: Favourite weather?

just cool enough to wear a hoodie, not too cold

59: Do you like the snow?

yes

60: Do you wanna get married?

no

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

definitely not

62: What makes you happy?

Making things, success, sometimes hanging out with my friends

63: Would you change your name?

probably, idk to what though

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

jokes on you ive never kissed anyone

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

apologize for being unable to adequately reciprocate also why exclusively opposite sex?

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

idk

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

my mom

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

also my mom

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

no

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

probably not

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[eldritchsurveys]

1254.

What’s something you used to believe in that you don’t anymore? >> I actually don't think this has ever happened to me. Even though I've been several different people, we have had uncannily similar core beliefs and worldviews. It's probably just a "like-attracts-like" situation between this body and its pilots.

What’s your favorite dinosaur? >> I don't have one. I've never been interested in dinosaurs.

Do you believe in reincarnation? If so, what would you like to be reincarnated as? >> I consider it a likelihood for myself, but not the only one. My understanding of reincarnation goes far beyond just incarnating on Earth, so the possibilities are truly endless when it comes to what other forms I may take in other lives. Also, frankly, I am multiply incarnated at this very moment; I just happen to be "focused" on this world. But! I digress.

What are three scents that you like? >> Oud, anise, frankincense.

Do you ever use the grounding technique 54321? >> I don't. It honestly never occurs to me in the moments it might be useful.

Where would you relocate if you were forced to leave your place of residence? >> If we were forced to leave our place of residence, we'd just be fucked. If we had the means to move, we would already be planning to do so. :V What smells better… fresh baked bread or fresh brewed coffee? >> I think the smell of freshly baked bread is slightly more agreeable to me. I get sick of the smell of coffee really quickly.

Have you ever met a president? >> I have not.

Has anyone ever given you a gag gift? >> I don't think so.

Do you find smoking unattractive? >> I don't have a feeling about it one way or the other. It's just a thing people do.

Do you think flirting is cheating? >> It's pretty much impossible to cheat on me, so, no.

Have you ever liked someone who had a girl/boyfriend? >> Sure. If it's not a dealbreaker for them, it sure as hell isn't one for me.

Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you? >> Again, see question before last. I don't even know how to be hypothetical about this, the concept is just so alien to me.

What's a word that starts with the third letter of your first name? >> Reality. How many wives or husbands do you want? .

What's your favorite color gummy bear? >> Red.

What's the last movie you saw in the theater? >> Still Longlegs. I will have to take myself to see something new soon. What color is your iPod? . What’s a quality that your sister has that you absolutely can’t stand? .

Have you ever dated a smoker? If not, would you? >> I have. I don't think I would now, simply because I hate the smell of cigarettes now. A diehard goth who smokes Djarums exclusively is still acceptable :p

Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? .

Name one of your psycho exes? >> You couldn't fucking pay me to talk about people I've been entangled with that way.

Have you ever been drunk at work? .

Have you ever taken a pregnancy test? >> I have.

How many bananas have you ever eaten in a row? >> I can hardly stomach one, let alone more than one.

Do you have a protective father? .

Have you ever had to choose between two people? .

The last thing you remember dreaming about: >> It was a mishmash of various media I am in the middle of interacting with (the book I'm reading, and something else -- a movie I'd seen recently? I don't remember now, this was so many hours ago).

The last place you went: >> The bodega around the corner from me.

The last time you held a baby: >> About five years ago.

What’s the scariest video game you’ve ever played? >> Silent Hill 4, waaaay back when. I mostly watch horror game playthroughs on YouTube rather than play them myself. But, fun fact, the first time I tried to play Fallout 3 (also waaaay back when), I got so freaked out by radroaches that I turned that shit off and took it right back to whatever store I'd rented it from, lol. I'm fine with them now and I have played many many hours of various Fallout games since but that first encounter was a doozy.

If you had the chance to slip through a portal, despite being unaware of any of the effects and/or consequences, would you do it? >> I mean, probably. It's the sort of thing I expect to happen to me.

When someone copies you, are you more flattered or annoyed? >> Definitely flattered.

Which is worse: Stale chips or flat soda? >> Stale chips. I require maximum cronch. I also don't drink soda enough for flat soda to really have a chance to bug me.

What health problems do you have? .

Have you ever had an anaphylactic reaction to anything? >> I have not.

Do you have sensitive skin? >> Not especially.

What would you name a baby boy? .

What would you name a baby girl? .

Do people's rude comments bother you for a long time? >> Sometimes. I think it depends on the state of my nervous system when the comment is given.

Name three things you find boring. >> Long drives that are mostly highway, economics, heteronormativity.

What excites you? >> Uh... a good thunderstorm.

Would you send your kids to Sunday school? .

What is the most interesting biography you have read? .

Do you think your life story would make a good book someday? >> It'd have to be a strange nonlinear meandering pseudofictional sort of book, not a straightforward auto/biography. Do you buy art for your walls? >> I don't make a conscious practice of it, but I have collected a few things over time.

Would you ever decorate a room with a travel theme? >> I would not.

What insects do you think are pretty? >> So, so many. I love bugs.

Do you love God? >> I have loved at least one god. Is there an ice cream flavor that you strongly dislike? Which one? >> If there is, I haven't had it yet. Oh, I guess chocolate, but I also just strongly dislike most chocolate.

Do you own any books with an image of a cat on the front cover? >> Possibly.

Does anything you own have an image of a bird on it? >> I'm pretty sure.

Does anyone you know own a spaniel? How about an Irish setter? >> No.

[bluandtherestlesshands]

Heartstrings

Chapter Twelve: Regret

For Mature Audiences

CW: “morning sickness” caused by pregnancy, emotional cheating if you squint??

“Settlin’ down isn’t really my thing, Doll.”

”Well, why can’t it be your thing??”

A month before Chisei joined Aizen. She had been having a conversation with someone who she treated as her boyfriend at the time. Shinji seemed to be combatting her every step of the way.

”Right, cause we can all just act like normal humans with their normal human problems.” The blonde scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Honest question, do you know what you’re askin’? The more you talk the more you sound like you’re on a completely different plane.”

”I’m sorry, but how is asking for us to be, oh I dunno, exclusive such an issue??” Chisei snapped. “You make it sound like I’m asking for a wedding chapel right here right now, when that’s not what I’m saying!”

”Sure, but then what? I promise you the world, then things don’t work out and you can blame me? I don’t think so, Babe.” Shinji said. “It’s not like we can get hitched anyway, and that whole ‘waitin’ til marriage’ thing is such a sham. You wouldn’t be ready to leave yer folks anyway.”

The short woman felt her jaw drop, like somehow he had heard nothing she said up to this point. She shook her head, an irritated smile painting her face when she put up her hands. “Alright. Okay. Wow, so… You really don’t care. Thanks.”

The man at first had no idea what he did wrong, until he saw the tears in her eyes. “Ah shit- Babe, I’m sorry I-“

”You’ve said enough, Shinji.” Chisei started to step away, “Clearly we want different things. We’re from two different worlds. You’re right. I was willing to bridge that gap, but… Guess I was the only one.” She turned and started to walk, tears streaming down her face. “The one time I get invested, gods, of course…”

”Chisei, wait-!” He started to run towards her, this was bad, he didn’t mean to hurt her.

”DON’T-“ Her voice broke as she spun on her heel, glaring up at him. “Don’t follow me. Just… Make it easier on both of us. Stay away from me…” Chisei swallowed the lump in her throat before she took off, not just running but sprinting away from Shinji who could only stand there and watch her.

In Karakura Town, Shinji woke with a start and shot up, “CHI-!” It took him a second to see that he was back in the warehouse, tangled up in his sheets, moonlight filling the room. He had fallen asleep in some jeans, but threw off his shirt in a heap he didn’t feel like taking care of. Normally he griped until Chisei ‘helped’ him do it, but it was starting to pile up.

Brown eyes scanned the room, then fell to the spot beside him on the bed. Some nights she would stay there with him, though it was squished on a full… He never intended on bringing dates back to their secret lair, but lucky for him she didn’t need much space… Only hands in appropriate places, with lazy morning makeouts in the first few rays of sunshine coming through the window. Sweet nothings exchanged before she had to leave for work, the way her fingers always seemed to slot perfectly into his.

Almost two months without contact was driving the man mad. Her family still had no idea where he went, she wasn’t answering his calls, and with the added layer of a romantic angle with someone else it made him feel sick. He looked over and stared at one of the records, still in its sleeve. One that she had gifted him when she got a raise at work, he remembered giving her some grief for buying him something on her ‘big night’ out celebrating. She was funny like that - it didn’t matter if the event was supposed to be about her, or her accomplishment, Chisei wanted to use her luck to show the people in her life she appreciated them.

”I don’t know where you are right now… Wherever it is, you better be safe…”

”Would you keep your voice down, she’s clearly not feeling good…”

”Should we go tell Lord Aizen?”

”He said it’s normal… Ginger is supposed to help with stomach aches right? See if we got any.”

”Right!”

”And keep your voice down.!”

Chisei began to stir and open her eyes, giving a small groan. She saw Coyote standing over her, he looked worried… for her? “Starrk..?”

”You’re awake… Are you feeling any better?” He crouched down to her level, his hand reaching out to touch her forehead. There was some hesitation before he touched her skin, for two reasons. The first one came with him taking off his glove with his teeth, the fabric was just going to hinder him. The second was, should he really be touching the Queen? “You started sweating, Lilynette was worried.”

”Mmm… Still feel like garbage…” Despite this, Chisei gave the man a small thumbs up which only seemed to concern him more. “I’ll be okay, I promise. It’s probably cause I haven’t eaten much…”

”What hurts exactly? Talk to me.” Coyote asked, “Is it your stomach? Something else?

”I’m nauseous, which makes my stomach hurt… Then I can’t eat which makes me more nauseous… And the more nauseous I feel, the more I want to throw up…” Chisei said, pointing side to side with each point. “Then I can’t throw up because I haven’t eaten so there’s nothing to do but sit here and hope it goes away.”

”…That’s all caused by a baby?” He said. “Why do women put themselves through that?”

”Some people find having kids and raising them to be fulfilling.” She said, but then followed up with a smirk and a chuckle before smacking her hand down on the beanbag. “I’m starting to question if it’s worth being this damn sick…!”

“Staaaarrk! We got some ginger tea! Should we try that?”

”Would you stop yelling!? Yes, try that.” Coyote shot an annoyed look at the girl, off in the kitchen, before turning to look back at the Queen. Aside from being sweaty and a tad pale, perhaps from the nausea, she still looked to be fine. “… Lord Aizen said you talked to him about me. Is what he said true?”

Chisei blinked at this before glancing away, still laying on her side. “… It is. I didn’t want to make things awkward, and of course there’s my relationship with Sosuke…” She admitted. “If anything, I was more surprised you don’t have other Arrancars here who are looking for something with you. You’re a very attractive man, Starrk.”

His breath hitched at that, and the hand on her forehead twitched. He didn’t want to do anything that could affect either of them, but the desire was there… In his silence, Chisei began to panic and ramble a bit.

”I mean, maybe in some other universe where things were different… It’s just not meant to be in this one here. Never mind attractiveness too, you’re a great guy in general. I can hold conversations with you, you’ve been nothing but kind to me.”

”Chisei. I think that’s enough.” Coyote sighed and took a breath, leaning over her. She wasn’t sure what he was doing, so she only kept her head down and relaxed, knowing she could trust him. The Espada stayed there, thinking about how things could have been different for him, for her. He couldn’t help himself in getting a whiff of her soaps, smelling something else on her as well… It may have something to do with her condition. Keeping his voice hushed, and knowing any eyes Aizen may have on them couldn’t see, he spoke to her. “I hope he is treating you like the treasure you are. If I had you… I’d make sure you never had a doubt what my intentions were.”

The woman stared up at him, him keeping that cool composure all throughout. Her face heated up at this, and he gave a nod to this.

”You must be feeling better. There’s some color back in your cheeks.” Coyote rubbed her cheek with the back of his hand, sitting down on a cushion next to her. “I don’t want to give Lord Aizen a reason to kill me.”

The woman shot up in surprise, huffing. “Th-That hardly seems fair, Starrk-!”

”Coyote.”

”Wh-“

”If you don’t want me to be formal with you, I’m returning the favor.” Starrk said, watching her reactions. She quieted down, taking a second to process that, before giving a nod.

”Hey Chisei, how is having this kid gonna work anyway? Aren’t you needed during the battle?” Lilynette walked back with a tray, offering the woman the piping hot drink. The Queen sat up as she took the cup, a fancy iron sort of mug… She sniffed the tea and already seemed to be feeling better.

”Thank you for the tea, by the way.” Chisei commented, then took a small sip. “The truth is, I’m not sure yet… There’s a lot of variables to that last battle, and Sosuke is still trying to figure out where I’ll fit into it… Or if I’ll be on the sidelines somewhere, or in a safe house.”

Lilynette set the tray down, hands on her hips. “What’s the deal with that anyway? Why wouldn’t you be able to fight?”

”Because I’ll look like I swallowed a watermelon whole by then?” Chisei said, then something seemed to click for the girl with that comment. “And… If I’m still like that during the battle, I would hate to be the one who tried to attack me. Can’t imagine Sosuke would take that well.”

”Well, yeah, it’s his queen and his kid!” The girl scoffed, plopping herself into a nearby beanbag. “Oh yeah! Have you two talked about any names yet?”

There was a pause when Chisei went to take another sip, she stopped to think of a way to answer then shook her head. “Uh, no. Not yet.” She said. “A lot of the conversation has been about making sure I’m healthy, that the baby’s healthy, and talking about check ups… Names haven’t come up yet.”

”Seriously? Nothing?” Lilynette groaned, “You two have a boring relationship. OW-!”

Coyote smacked her on the head. “Don’t say that to the Queen, you idiot!”

”I’ve heard more exciting stuff from other Espada and none of them have partners!” She griped.

”It doesn’t matter, don’t be rude!”

”… You’re right, though.”

Both of them turned to look at the queen, who was staring off into the yellow-orange liquid with a sad smile. Chisei thought back to the guy who made her feel safe and secure, before all of this… Before things took a turn in time for Aizen to make his move.

”Chisei I deeply apologize for Lilynette, please don’t be upset-“

”No, no. She’s right.” Chisei looked up and laughed softly, wiping at her eyes before the tears could escape. “When it comes to romance or anything, you expect to hear more about fun things they did together, funny gossip about someone doing something funny in a relationship… It’s nothing like what you find in a book.” She sighed and looked down. “Sosuke and I don’t really have that.” I had that with someone else and lost it.

[falsebooles123]

Confessions of a Recovering Genre-Phobic 1/13/24

Hey Whores, This Week was the middle of a giant blizzard through most of central and southern oregon. Did I get any snow? No so fuck the weather too. Anyway heres some music I listened to.

Emoji Antique (2015) - Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox

Genre: Jazz Length: (12 Tracks)

Figured I'd start this week off on an easy peesey album. When I first made this list in 2019 I added a lot of what I would now consider twee music. I made a point to cull out the various Movie Soundtracks, Comedy Albums, and other 'novelty' music from the list before the new years. To underline my adoration for this style in my cabernet/jazz era I also include the solo albums for Casey Abram and Hailey Reinhart on my watchlist, (listenlist?).

I will say that album despite it coming out directly before the last PMJ album we reviewed is subsequental lesser.

But I feel the need as a reviewer to properly anaylsis my own discomfort with the work. I will say that my ira with this album is fully subtextual right? Objectively the jazz in this album are good. These are great singers and they do a great job but PMJ is not an original work, its a cover band which means that are approuch to listening to this music is colored by us actually knowing the original work and are feelings about the original music to begin with. I think its also important to recognize that PMJ works best as a a live band. My initial interest in the band was from watching there youtube videos which are filmed as a chamber set often with a central Chanteuse character drawing attention center stage. It very much is playing off of the performance style of these genres of music and it works incredible well. These people are hot, they sing well, and they have an incredible fantastic stage presence. It what makes this songs have a lasting impact in my opinion. Listening to a purely audio version of these songs is a detriment and honestly the tangible albums have also felt a little cashgrabby. I mean they released four albums in 2015. Four of them. its really doesn't feel like these were artistic attempts and putting together the creme de la creme of there chambe sessions it feels much more like a bunch of singles they ripped to cd so that they had something to sell at merch tables.

Bad Romance and Barbie Girl are both fantastic stage performances and its truly sad that you can't see Sarah Reich in her footwork with a literally cd of this.

I feel like my thoughts are all over the place so I'm gonna try my best to make my critiques cognent. Why not a numbered list.

Lyricism

Famarity

Production

Lyricism

The opener of this album is All About That Bass (feat. Morgan James, Haley Reinhart, Ariana Savalas & Casey Abrams). Its meant as this fun, feel-good, pop number and it is and so is the original. The issue for me is that I just don't like Trainers message in it. this review is too long to get to deep in the paint about it but Trainer centers who own love and self-accemptance exclusively on whether or not shes fuckable to men and theres also quite a bit of skinny shaming in it. with some very weak lip-service and yes this song came out way before much of the culteral conversation over body positivity and body nutrality and all that crap but It still sits in the pantheon of other girlboss songs like 'before he cheats' and 'you belong to me' that have a kind of toxic feminitiy to. It rubs me the wrong way.

This is the two edged sword of PMJ because on one hand the torch singing style there known for focuses on the lyricism and songs that really sing on this album Creep, Barbie Girl I Believe In A Thing Called Love, and Only One have fantastic lyrics. Its acts as an appreciation to the craft of songwriting. Contrary-wise it makes the weak lyricism of other songs that much more thread-bare. If 80% of your song and mixing is focused on the words they have to be good or at least they pale in comparision to the tent-poles of there work. The enthralling torch songs that made me first fall in love with there work.

Familarity

So heres the thing right. If you have a cover band you want to cover songs that people know right? Usually this isn't a problem they choose a lot of big, and I mean like huge, top 100 pop songs. Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, Bruno Mars. Songs that would be immediately recognizable and beloved. For fucks sake this album ends with a pared-down solely recreation of Take Me To Church. They play crowd pleasers. So lets play a game name who sings these songs.

Such Great Heights

I Believe in A Thing Called Love

That was The Postal Service and The Darkness. Oh uh yes these were top 100 hits in there specific genres in 2003. On further research I have heard Such Great Heights. Mostly because I really love 2000s indie pop but the main issue with this is that I don't recognize the song from the arrangement. The arrangement is fantastic its a great song but its not recognizable the same experience. And I don't want to act like thats a bad thing that an adaptation is *too* tranformative. At the same time I feel like we should question what is the point of a cover band doing a cover that nobody recognizes?

Ok Round Two

Only One

Poison

That was Kanye West and Rita Ora!!!!

Ok so heres the vibe. These songs are both from around early 2015, and were fairly popular on the radio at that time. In fact, Rita Ora released her single only two weeks before PMJ covered it. Neither or these songs to the best of my understanding had any staying power, (I for one had never heard of them before despite me being in my peak listening to the radio era), they didn't even make the top 100 for that year. If your wondering all the other contemporary songs on this album are on there. Its hard not to see this as Scott Bradlee's hearing a critical acclaimed song on the radio and then immediately turning around and making an arrangement for it for the clicks. Which don't get me wrong that was 85% of the trending videos on youtube at the time but it still acts as a burr in my side when looking at this from a artistic perspective. Because once again these songs don't sound like the original which brings us to my third point.

Production

To keep this slightly brief lets discuss. Paper Planes - M.I.A. You know the one its the song with the hook that goes "bang bang bang cash register and takes your money". The production on the song is fantastic. The beat is dreamy and gauzy, her vocals are muted but lathegic like shes in another room. Its a sound that is distinctive it feels like walking down the street in a 90s action film. right with that very specific california sunny filter that makes everything piss yellow. thats what the song sounds like and its because of the mixing and sound production because pop music is pretty complicated to make these days. It tends to be a very layered sound that what a producer is.

Big Band music can also be incredible complex and layered. Theres a lot of feeling that can be created between harmony and melody and procussion. These are two bad bitches that shouldn't be pitted against each other.

The issue for me with this song is that the percussion fucking sucks. The Paper Planes Hook. The part of the song that is so goddamn iconic is replaced by a paltry stacccoto brass section. The fuck. That is not in the original spirit of the song. Its one thing to take a fast-past hiphop song and sing it slow and bluesey, its another to listen to well-produced beats and then shit your goddamn pants at the percussionist section.

If I was given the task to incorporate these non-diegetic sounds into a orchestial style there are ways to do it. Large Snare Sounds, stomping, or you could do what my highschool theater class did and band two 2x4 together. Trust me it sounds like shots fired. Also here me out you get a vintage cash register place in on the table front and center and have your procussionist literally just open it during the hook. It would be cute it would be fun, it is so entirely within the realm, style, and humor of PMJ that what we did get is honestly kinda insulting. I just don't like the production on this song and I think it shows a lack of polish in the arrangement.

Now that I have been alittle bitch for longer then should be allowed. I want to say that my criticism of this album is entirely intellectual. It was fine it was a perfectly fine album.

The reason why I am writing these blogs is to think more critically about music about writing and about criticism. So me being a little bitch is me practising being a little bitch for money!!!!! HIIIII give me moneyh!11 pelase. This is not intended as a serious review. This is a writing project so take it as a grain of salt.

3/5

Dream Your Life Away (2014) - Vance Joy

Genre: Indie Folk, Indie Pop Length 49:00 (13 Tracks)

If your famalier with Vance Joy its most likely through his break-out single 'Riptide', a folksy acoustic balad with esoteric lyrics. Also an absolutely fantastic music video, If Radley Mertzger saw it he would cum.

Looking at the rest of his set on this album you get a very similar energy. Hozier-esque Vance Joy uses this indie folk stylings to sing sad ballads about love.

It feels like the insecurties you have when you began to date a beautiful person, it feels like the cold blue light of an newly empty apartment, it feels like watching somebody you love sleep and wondering what you did to be so goddamn lucky.

Its a very meloncholic album, something you put on when your alone and lonely. Good Shit.

4/5

Hug Of Thunder (2017) - Broken Social Scene

Genre: Indie Rock, Baroque Pop Length: 52:19 (12 Tracks)

I first listened to BSS entirely because it was off-handedly mentioned by a bunch of hipsters in the webcomic Questionable Content. You know back when it was about Jeff Jacques self-insert being emotional abused by a big titty hot chick and not existential trans-humanist conversations and milfs with fat cow tits, (I refuse to explain).

Hug of Thunder is the Fifth Studio Album from Broken Social Scene, which is apparently a musical collective with a rather large member list. This album has 23 listed musicans on it if that tells you anything.

I'm not great at describing sounds but its layered, indie rock that creates an almost soundscape type quality. IDK its moody indie stuff I'm bad at this and thats ok.

4/5

Halloway EP (2016) - Tessa Violet

Genre: Dark Pop Length: 16:52 (5 Tracks)

I remember when I first heard this album. It was 2019 and I was going through a major depressive episode. I was cold, both emotional and physically, and suffering through the most incredible emo of heartbreak. bitch was going through it.

Tessa refers to this album as her 'dark pop' album and that is understable. Theres a lot of heartbreak in the album and while some songs like 'not over you' are a feel-good anthem there is a certain rawness to Haze and On my Own that I still come back to all these years later.

This is an important album to me and for how much its forgotten by others I still have no choice but to love it.

4/5

Primordial Archive (2023) - Elliot Lee

Genre: Alt Pop Length: 48 Minutes (16 Tracks)

Elliot Lee has been a name I feel like I have always been famalier with. While its easy to compare her to artists like Jasmin Bean and Melanie Martinez who also play with creepy cute imagery and discuss themes of obsession and mental illness. Lee's work to me has always felt much more connected to internet culture. She makes the type of pop music that you would draw animatics of your OCs to.

Her work is angry, confessional, spoken word at times and she layers it over an almost nightcore or glitchcore sound. Electronica that is destinctly 2000s in sound with distorted vocals that lend an almost bluesy sound to her words. Its a strong distinction from comparable artists in the Alt Pop scene.

Primordial Archive is a fix-up album from Photo Finish Records. Putting together a variety of her earlier songs with a new Single 'Funny Bunny'. I was original concerned with cohesion with this album but on relisten in gelled a lot more for me. Lee has spent the last who knows many years putting out singles so when it comes together it turns out OOPS all bangers. Theres some fantastic tracks on this album and I think it manages to show her range quite well.

Funny Bunny the signiture single on the album is equally fantastic. You have lee's signiture confessional lyrics that are .... a little too relatable if I'm being honest over what can only be described as a DDR dance beat. Its recognizable Elliot Lee and its a damn good pop song.

4/5

Anyway Whores I'm not sure what tomarrow brings but I have to imagine its more music.

[gatekeeperwatchman]

steven_parker_miller_1956; To the World🔥... On your darkest days do not try to see the end of the tunnel by looking far ahead. Focus only on where you are right now. Then carefully take one step at a time, by placing just one foot in front of the other. Before you know it, you will turn that corner.

Speaking in general, the people of this world can be categorized into four types: “Upper Class”, “Middle Class”, “Poor”, and “Trash”. It is the “Trash Class” which I wish to discuss here. Not only does it permeate the other classes “across the board”, but it is also a chronic detriment to us all and a threat to our world—yours and mine.

Just what is the “Trash Class”? Whom does it include? What are its fruits? Not unlike the first mentioned classes, at first glance those belonging to the “Trash Class” are invisible. They are seen only through their characteristics; they are recognized by their beliefs—their behavior. 

First and I believe their worst characteristic, they believe only in themselves to the exclusion of others. Greed, avarice, and selfishness are their primary features; thinking only of themselves and their superiority to others, they believe in survival of the fittest and may the devil take the hindmost—to hell with the losers, lacking any appreciation for the many opportunities and advantages with which they were born, failing to recognize that, contrary to what we are told, all men are not created equal. On the contrary, they are equal only in the eyes of God. That’s not an opinion. It’s reality. We are all born with different strengths, weaknesses, and opportunities.

Second, they are devoid of personal values, i.e. love, caring, forgiveness, and sharing. Rather, they lie, cheat, steal, and deceive—the smile on their faces, their hidden motives and daggers notwithstanding.

Third, they exhibit a lack of conscience. They seem to have little or no sense of guilt. 

I could continue, but why. One either understands by now or one doesn’t.

From: Steven P. Miller December 16, 2022 Founder of Gatekeeper-Watchman International Groups Jacksonville, Florida., Duval County, USA Twitter: @GatekeeperWatchman1, @ParkermillerQ, #Sparkermiller, #GWIG, #GWIN, #GWINGO, #Ephraim1, #IAM

[lokisprettygirl]

Hit me Baby, One more Time (Wrestler Loki x Female Reader)

Read chapter 33 here

Chapter 34

Summary : Loki takes you to New York. What could go wrong?

Warning : 18+ , Sex, dirty talk, Sweet romantic talk? Daddy kink, praise kink , mentions of child abuse

"I love you birdy.. never ever leave..never let me go"

You stopped breathing for a good few seconds after you heard that. You were not expecting him to say that so soon. He said it in his sleep, so it probably doesn't count right? He won't remember it when he wakes up?

But still you couldn't stop thinking about it, you heard him saying I love you to Frigga before so he wasn't probably opposed to saying it like he was about the term Sorry. You spent the next two hours just thinking about his adorable sleepy love confession. He loves you? He loves you.

When the alarm rang he woke up suddenly as he was startled by it "Hey you okay?" You asked him as you caressed his arms soothingly so he laid back down again "Yeahhh ..its..just ..it was too loud" he mumbled so you got on top of him and kissed on his neck softly "I love you" you whispered to see his reaction and he sighed in response "It makes me feel bad when you do that" he said to you so you put your head up to look at him

"Why?"

"Because I don't say it back and I don't want you to feel bad about it"

"It's okay I told you, you don't have to"

You felt disappointed as you heard him but atleast him saying it in his sleep means he feels something for you. He kissed you softly and you both got dressed up to go to the airport. Loki noticed the paps outside the airport so he grabbed your hands protectively and walked you in, you almost felt blinded by the constant flashing.

"Business class.. okay alright" you took a deep breath and he smiled at you "What did you expect birdy" he chuckled

"Just regular plain old economy, I forget that you're rich sometimes" you giggled as you buckled the seat belt on. Your eyes met heimdall so you gave a smile to him. He was on the other side. You felt a little embarrassed now, you wondered what he must be thinking about your relationship with Loki. Not that it would have mattered but still.

You placed your head down on his shoulder and took a nap since you didn't before. He couldn't stop looking at you, he wanted to tell you that he loves you too but it felt too soon, all these feelings felt new and he has never done anything like this before. He didn't want to hurt you or lead you on if it turns out to be something else instead of love, but if it's not love then what else could it be?

When you reached New York and you both drove towards his condo, you felt weird, the memories from your last visit filled your head. You came with Jack, you had different hopes and dreams, never in your life you thought you'd end up dating a famous wrestler. And it's not even a random fling, you two have something unique with each other and it scared you sometimes but then you'd look at him and the worries would disappear.

"Did you hear of me before you came to see me fight the first time?" He asked you and you shook your head "Jack used to watch the fights on tv but I hated all the violence so I never really paid attention" you told him honestly and he smiled as he kissed your forehead "That's good, can't imagine you being one of my fans"

You chuckled as you heard him "Would you have fucked me if I was one of your fans and bought the exclusive one on one meet n greet pass" you smirked and he smiled at you

"I would have definitely"

"Hmmm have you ever regretted doing it with anyone?"

You asked him so he thought about it and only one person came to his mind

"That woman Jack cheated on you with, not that she was the only one he cheated with but the one you know about"

He told you nonchalantly so you looked at him,

"Cary?" You asked him and he smiled. He didn't remember her name honestly, he's not good with names. "That did hurt, but it's okay you liked her, she's gorgeous"

She was but that's not the reason he wanted to fuck her in the beginning

"It's not that, at first I just wanted to piss him off and then you ran away and I wanted to piss you off a little, make you jealous"

You looked at him as he said that "Why did you want to piss him off?"

"For obvious reasons birdy" you smiled and looked out the window.

"Why do you regret that?"

"For hurting you like that, I never wanted you to feel as if I would pick her or anyone else over you" you leaned forward to peck his cheeks as he said that "It's okay, it's all in the past, don't dwell into the past Loki, we were not together or anything" you caressed his cheeks softly. You remind him of his mama a lot, especially the way you try to console him, maybe that's why he has always felt so connected to you.

When you reached his condo, you both slept until he had to reach the arena. You were in the shower when he heard your phone vibrating. His eyes glanced over the screen and there was a notification from Tonya, why is she texting you now? He knew she was obsessed with him and it made him curious so he picked your phone up. He has seen your passcode before and as much as he didn't want to invade your privacy, curiosity got the best of him.

He felt so upset as soon as he read her texts, he scrolled up and he was appalled by her confession of fucking Jack, how dare she talk to you like that? How dare she hurt you like that? Maybe he should see her today and set her straight because she's clearly not taking the hint.

He put your phone down as you came out of the bathroom and walked towards you to kiss you softly. But those texts made him want to love you right now so he picked you up, and pressed you against his bedroom wall "We will get late" you mumbled as he opened the strings of your bathrobe and pulled them off your shoulders "So?"

You bit on your lips as you felt his lips on your neck. He grabbed one of your breasts and caressed it softly which made you moan in turn "Ohh Lokiii please"

"That's not my name sweetheart"

"Mmm sorry daddy"

"Good girl"

The more he thought about the texts, the more upset he got. She was trying to hurt your confidence and self-esteem and it made him furious. He just wanted you to feel happy, and sexy and all fucked out. He wanted to make you feel so good around him.

He lifted his head up and pulled you off the wall to kiss you and then he pressed you into it again. You ran your hands down from his chest and you cupped his bulge but he grabbed your hand.

"No, you'll take what I give you okay babe?" You moaned as you heard him. Babe? You liked that, you liked the way it rolled off his lips so smoothly.

"Yesss daddy" he bucked his hips into your core and your juices soaked his briefs quickly, which made him even more desperate for you "Fucckk little thing, you always get so unbelievably wet" he mumbled and you just wanted to feel him inside you, you wanted to feel so full of him "Take me out, touch me with your tiny little hands" he whispered in your ear so you followed his commands quickly. You gave him a few little strokes and you felt him biting on your shoulder. The action made you shudder.

"Ohh daddy please, I need you please"

"What do you need from me babygirl"

"You please, you inside me, need your cock"

You whined as you felt the tip of his cock rubbing against you. He wasn't showing you any mercy so you pressed your hips forward and gasped as he slid inside you so easily, you felt his thickness stretching you open.

"Eager little whore aren't you?" you whined again and he pushed himself deeper in your warm soft cunt. You felt so weak, so delirious. It's not that sex felt bad with Jack, but you had no Idea how good it can feel with the right person, with a man who knows what he's doing, a man who is not selfish just about his own needs.

He grabbed your chin and kissed you sloppily, his tongue played around with yours as he pumped in and out of you slowly, driving you crazy more and more with every passing second.

"You're almost suffocating my cock in there, so darn tight" he whispered between the kisses and you couldn't help but squeeze his biceps tightly. He felt too good, too euphoric, too much.

He pulled himself away just so he could watch you falling apart for him, you looked pretty when you crumbled like that, you looked so beautiful with his cock inside your tight quim "Such a pretty baby" he mumbled mindlessly so you opened your eyes to look at him

"Am I?" You asked him, you have never felt so overwhelmed, he ruled your senses when he was like this. So rough but so soft at the same time, his words would get harsh but his touch remained gentle on your skin.

"My Prettiest girl, never ever let anyone tell you otherwise, from now on you'll only listen to me okay?" he whispered in your ears as he thought about Tonya again, how dare she call you ugly. He was holding himself back because she is a woman but he won't hesitate to put her in her place if she keeps attacking you like that.

His prettiest girl? Godd yess you wanted to listen to him , you wanted to believe him whenever he called you pretty like that but it was hard, it was hard after how jack made you feel. He pumped in and out of you slowly, you felt his cock touching that sweet spot inside you and it made you want to combust right now. "Mmm Tell me nice things please" you mumbled so he hooked your legs around his waist tightly and brought his hands up to cup your cheeks, his hips didn't stop their movements.

"Oh kitten, want me to tell you how beautiful you are?" He questioned and you nodded your head desperately.

"When I fucked Tonya for the first time, I asked her about you, did she ever tell you that?" You shook your head as you looked at him surprised, the first time? Before he even talked to you?

"Why??"

"I just needed to know your name, I needed to see you again and touch you. When I found you crying out there, I wanted to protect you from whatever was hurting you in the moment, also I wanted to fuck you roughly against the wall, just like I'm doing right now" he groaned as he felt the pleasure building in his core, the movement of his hips increased.

"Mmm ohh please please please" you whined, you needed more, more of his words, more of his touch, more of him.

"You entrapped me since I saw you, you looked so innocent, so gullible, so ditzy at times"

"Mmm that's not exactly a good thing" you mumbled so he rubbed his thumb over your lips

"It doesn't matter because I liked it and maybe I would have been over this feeling if it was all physical and I wished for it to be so, but It wasn't. You have been so sweet and caring, you cared about my wounds when you didn't even know me, when I didn't even deserve it. You're a beautiful beautiful woman in every way, best one I have ever known after my mama"

You teared up as you heard his sweet words "Mmmm loki please baby, please cum inside me daddy" you whimpered and he increased his pace to make you both fall apart. He wanted to fill you up and take you out like that, knowing that you're stuffed full of his cum, knowing that you belong to him now, that you're his girl. His only.

"Cum with me pretty little thing, let daddy feel you suffocate him more and more, leave me all breathless darling"

And you did, you clenched your walls around his cock as tightly as you could and that broke him down. You felt his cum filling you up, your body thrashed and jerked so pinned you against the wall with his frame. His rock hard but comforting body. You felt blessed in the moment, so so blessed. His hips moved slightly, the sound of his moans felt so good in your ears, his warm breath over your skin felt exhilarating. He was like a dream. Your dream.

Once you calmed down you gripped his hair and pulled his head back to kiss him softly "You deserve all the love and care this world can offer you loki" you whispered between the kiss so he smiled.

"Don't care about the world darling, I only crave you"

Fuck.

After kissing him as much as you wanted to, you got dressed up and Heimdall drove you both towards the arena. Is it possible to feel nostalgic about something that happened mere six months ago? You remembered each and every meeting, everytime he invited you there, every time you ran out of there. It felt as if you had known him for years.

Once you got inside his dressing room, he closed the door, he opened his locker to put his duffel bag inside and your eyes glanced over the picture of frigga "She's so beautiful" you mumbled so he looked at you. You walked over to him and traced your fingers over the corner of the picture "Who else is in the picture?" You asked him so he sighed and took it out "Don't laugh or I'll have to kill you" he smirked at you. He probably shouldn't scare you with jokes like that.

He passed the photograph to you and you awwed audibly as you looked at him "Oohh gosh you look so cute, is that make-up?" You asked him and he chuckled "Yess, I used to be a little mischievous, that's why she named me little mischief" he smiled as he watched you smiling at the picture. His eyes stayed glued to your face.

"How old were you here? You are so small, smol bean" you giggled and he chuckled "I was eight"

"Why did you choose this picture to put here?" You asked him and his smile faltered so you walked closer to him and put your head down on his chest "What baby?" You mumbled softly so he wrapped his arms around you "For one, she looked happy here, but when Odin caught me with makeup on he took me to the bathroom, and dunked my head inside the bathtub, then he asked me to scrub it off while he called me names I would rather not repeat. Then he took me to train for the first time, that day changed me in more ways than one, first day of my new life" he shared it all so impassively as if the memory didn't hurt him at all but you knew how scarring it must have been for him.

Maybe you shouldn't have asked the story behind the picture, because it made you want to break down and cry right now. You felt your heart breaking for eight year old Little Mischief who got punished for what? being a kid? "I'm so sorry baby" you whispered as you tiptoed and wrapped your arms around his neck so he leaned down and pulled you up so you could hug him. So he could feel your embrace.

"It's okay birdy, you don't have to feel bad about me, I am okay I promise" You were supposed to console him but he was doing it for you instead, he was abused and he lived through it everyday until he finally snapped. It hardened him from inside, it changed him and shaped him into the man he became. The eight year sweet boy who just wanted to be mischievous and play with his mother's makeup kit, who just wanted to make her happy, he died that day and you couldn't help but mourn for him.

He sat you down on his dressing chair and made you sip on the water then he kissed your forehead and held you until you calmed down "I'm sorry I didn't mean to react like this" you mumbled so he smiled at you "I do need to punish you for apologising so much, you're getting worse" he chuckled so you leaned forward to kiss him.

Then you made his bun for him. You peppered kisses whenever you could and he smiled at each one of them. You wanted to stay in the crowd and watch his fight but he wanted you to stay here, now that people knew about you, he couldn't take a risk. Especially with Tonya being there.

He went out there and won the fight, he couldn't wait to kiss you, he had someone waiting for him and the thought made his happy. When he was walking back towards the dressing room Tonya stopped him halfway and he glared at her.

"What the fuck do you want now?" He asked her as he continued to walk so she followed him

"I wanted to come see you and support you" she fluttered her eyelashes and gave him a fake smile which made him roll his eyes.

"Fuck off Tonya, take a hint and stop harassing my girlfriend or I'll do something you will definitely regret"

He warned her but she chuckled in response,

"Girlfriend? Since when do you make girlfriends Loki? And that too her? That's your choice?" He has had enough of her insulting you, why couldn't she just leave?

"I fucked you like three times and you think I was interested in you? Funny because I only did it to get close to her" her eyes widened as she heard him.

"What?" She teared up and he probably should have stopped there but then remembered what she said to you and what she did behind your back.

"Just telling you the truth, Why do you think she came to see me that night in my dressing room? Why else do you think I went with you to your place that night? Are you that stupid? I cuddled her all night after I used you like the hooker you are because unlike you she actually have self-respect" She slapped him as he said that but he only snickered in response.

"Fuck off now, or better yet why don't you go fuck Jack or my brother again, you all deserve each other afterall"

He laughed as he walked out, leaving her shocked and hurt. When he came back, You hugged him so tightly even though he was drenched with sweat, he didn't get hurt and that was a relief. However when he was in the shower you heard a knock on the door. You never thought you'd see her again but there she was, crying profusely and visibly upset.

"Tonya?"

And then she attacked you.

➖➖➖➖➖➖💚💚💚➖➖➖➖➖

Taglist : @colifower    @karuna11    @vbecker10    @the-wounded-healer05    @hayden429    @lokismfbitch    @limiworld    @12-pm-510    @daddylokisqueen    @lokislovingvalkyrie    @3ddiebrock    @chaotics17    @rat-p1ss    @wheredafandomat    @notmesimpingforanothabritishlad    @lokislittlemoon    @sluttybitchs-world    @dren-whalen    @catalina712    @bouffantofdoom @lokistoejam @multifandom-world8    @loving-barnes    @apine7    @midgardianminx    @rainybananaturtletaco @marions-wither88 @phantombaby    @snigdha-14    @disneyismyworldforever    @xpixiedevilx    @christineblood    @sarcastically-defensive17    @itshemlock    @howdidurhammergrowchris    @julian0800 @vllowe @eyesbluelikethetitanic

[getosscorpio]

Forever Mine

Part 7: Reunion 

CW: Suguru Geto x f!reader, Nanami Kento x f!reader, slight angst, slight smut, fluff?, petnames, cheating

Wc: 1,9k

I adjusted my dress and picked up my purse to leave the bedroom. Kento was sitting at the dining table, working with his laptop. As he realized me, he looked over and gave me an admiring look. 

“You’re sure I shouldn’t give you a ride baby?” 

“Yeah, Shoko’s gonna pick me up. We won’t stay out that long, probably a drink or two!” I said as I walked towards him to kiss him. I placed my lips on his and cupped his face. He kissed me back and caressed my waist. 

“Alright then. Take care sweetheart. Call me if anything happens. I will be awake; I should finish these documents.” he kissed the back of my hand and smiled again. 

“Don’t worry, we’ll be alright!” I winked and left the house. Shoko was already waiting for me. 

It was the first time in a while that I was having a girls’ night with Shoko again. We decided to go to the same bar that we used to go back then. Although it was full of memories for me, I didn’t reject her recommendation and let her pick out the place.  

As we arrived, the bar was already quite full of people. We headed to the small bar at the end of the big dance floor and found fortunately two free chairs.  

“2 Negronis please.” Shoko ordered the drinks to the bartender and turned her head to face me. 

“He looks good. He’s probably new here. Johnny seems to be away.” 

“Honey, that was 8 years ago! Your crush is probably off to fuck some other girl.” I chuckled as she rolled her eyes at me. 

“Just shut up! I’m gonna go to the toilet. You stay here?” she asked and stood up to leave. 

“Yeah, just don’t lose me already!” 

I watched her as she disappeared between the dancing crowd and picked out my phone to make myself busy. A notification from Kento appeared on the screen as I unlocked my phone. 

‘Already missing you babygirl...’ 

I smiled and texted back. 

‘Miss you too daddy. Can’t wait for tonight😉' 

I locked my phone, and I was putting it back in my purse as I felt a hand on my shoulder. I gasped and turned around to see who it was. 

“Miss L/N? Would you please come with me?” said the stranger. He was pretty tall, had long black hair, tied in two high ponytails and exclusively tired eyes. His voice contrasted with his appearance, was quite calm and gentle. 

“I’m sorry, do we know each other?” I asked in a not too friendly tone. 

“You don’t know me, but I do! Please come with me, somebody’s waiting for you.” he stepped aside to let me stand up. 

“Where are we going?”  

“Not far away. Just upstairs to our office.” 

Their office? So, he was probably one of the owners of the bar. But why would they want to talk to me? Who was that somebody that was already waiting for me? 

“My friend will just be back. I gotta tell her first.” 

“We will tell her. Please, this way.” he showed me the way.  

I stood up and walked through the crowd until we reached a small red door. He opened it and showed me the way to walk upstairs. The stairway was lit with red lights and there were two other men waiting at the end of the hall. The man that picked me up opened the door at the end of the stairway and held it for me. 

“Please get in.” 

I walked into the room. It was a big office with three leather couches and a big desk by the windows, at the end of the room. The only shining lights were the two lamps on the desk. Behind the desk there was a big chair with its back facing us. 

“Sir, Miss L/N is here.” the bodyguard said. 

The man behind the desk raised his left hand and the bodyguard left the room. I was feeling nervous about being there. It all felt shady to me. Although I hadn’t seen him yet, there was a strange tension in the room. I held on to my purse tighter and played with its chain to distract myself. And then he spoke. That familiar voice I hadn’t heard in years. 

“Welcome back!” he said as he turned his chair to face me. 

It was him. Sitting right in front of me. Looking at me with the same eyes I used to love. He was wearing a black suit and a white shirt, unbuttoned a few at the top.  

“Geto...” I said with wide eyes staring into his. 

“You weren’t expecting me here, right?” he smirked at me and put out a cigarette to light it. 

“I-I don’t know...” I still couldn’t believe it. I could hear my own heartbeat. I was scared and at the same time worried.  

“Take a sit. Make yourself comfortable.” he pointed at one of the couches.  

“I-I have to go. I’m here with Sh-” 

“With Shoko, I know. But she’ll wait, right?” he leaned back into his chair and put his hands on the arms. He knew exactly who I was there with. He probably even knew we were heading to that place. I sat down and tried to cover my thighs with my purse.  

“So, tell me, how are things going right now? You’re happy with Nanami?” he poked at his cigarette and smirked at me again. 

“What do you want Geto? Why am I here?”  

“Oh nothing! I saw my beautiful girlfriend here and wanted to say hello. Is that something strange?” he said. 

“Your girlfriend? Huh, you better update your memories...”  

“Mhmm... but as far as I remember you’re still my girlfriend, aren’t you?” he stood up and walked towards me. He slowly sat down right in front of me on the couch. 

“Of course not. I don’t even want to see you anymore!” I said. 

“But I do!” he chuckled. “I still wanna see you every day...” 

“Tell me what you want and let me go.” I stared right at him to not make him think I'm self-conscious. 

“Y/N, you used to be so much friendlier back then, you remember? Ah... anyways... what I want?” he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “I want you. I want you Y/N.” 

Was he serious? With every word leaving his mouth, he was making me more nervous. I was thinking about Shoko that was probably looking for me. She might have even called Kento. My mind was a mess and Geto was sitiing right there, poking at his expensive cigarette and analyzing my movements. 

“Seems like you’ve really lost your mind. Now I understand why everyone warned me of you.” I stood up and made my way to the door, but he quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me close to him.  

“Everyone. Who’s everyone then? Gojo? Or Nanami that stole my girl from me? Tell me Y/N, what’ve they told you about me?” his jaw was clenched, and his grip was getting tighter and tighter on my hand. I stared up at him, our faces just centimeters apart from each other. 

“Your girl? Why can’t you understand that things ended 8 years ago?”  

“For you, yes. You ended everything. But it never ended for me Y/N. I’ve been waiting since the day you left that fucking place.” he pulled me closer, so our bodies were actually touching.  

His words were mostly true. I was the one that broke up with him. I wanted things to get over. I was the one who left immediately after our breakup. But back then I was thinking that he’d go after his ideals and that he’d forget about us. Now we were standing there, 8 years older and so far apart from each other. 

“Suguru”, I almost whispered. “We shouldn’t be talking about this right now...” 

“Why? Tell me why?” his eyes were desperately looking into mine. 

“I-I’m with someone else now. I’m not even meant to be here.” 

“Someone else? You mean Nanami?” he clenched his teeth. “I’m gonna kill that bastard.” 

“What the hell are you talking about? Do you even realize things? He’s my boyfriend now.” I pulled my hand from his. 

“Oh, your boyfriend?” he laughed and put his hand in his pocket. “Well I wish I'd give a fuck about that...” he turned back and walked to the windows, staring at the streetlights outside. 

“How did you even find me?” I asked him. 

“You weren’t lost to be found again sweetheart. I was taking care of you the whole time.” his deep voice was bringing me back to all those memories in my head. I remembered the nights we met at this bar and him always wanting to own a place like this. So he finally did! 

“Now back to our main point.” he turned around and walked slowly towards me. He put a hand on my cheek and caressed it with his thumb. 

“I’m gonna offer you two options. You go by whatever you want more. First one is that you stay here, and I'll inform your boyfriend that I got my girl back from him and we’ll be good then. Or two, you go back and break up with him, the way you did to me and I'll pick you up myself. But I won’t promise that I won’t hurt anyone when I come pick you up! And don’t even think about convincing me to let you go. These are the only ways. I don’t wanna hurt you to have you again.” he lowered his face and placed a kiss on my cheek. 

“Why can’t you just let me go?” my eyes were filled with tears and my throat was getting sore. 

“Shhhh let’s just not talk about that. That’s not even an option. You know me so well. You know that Suguru gets whatever he wants. Isn’t that right baby?” he put his head in the crook of my neck. His warm breaths were tickling my skin. I brought up my hands to his chest and tried to push him away. Instead, he let out a small chuckle and said, “Don’t push me away. We both know how much you’ve missed me.” he raised his head and put his forehead on mine, “I know you don’t love him. After all you needed someone to distract you, am I right baby?”  

“I have to think about it... I- I can’t decide right away.” 

“Well I have to know. I can’t let you spend one more night with him.” he put his hands on my hips and pulled me close to himself. “I want my baby right here, by my side.” 

I was feeling bad for letting him take so much power over me. He basically had me in his hands and was playing with me, just the way he had planned to. But I couldn’t risk my own and Nanami’s life. I knew that if I would leave, Geto would come after me and would probably kill anyone that stopped him from reaching his goal. How could I give up on everything? Was there even a good decision to be made? Both his options meant the loss of Kento for me. He was putting me in a situation that I had no more options but to choose him over Kento. But after all, I couldn’t let him kill Kento or anyone else.  

“The first one.” 

rbs are appreciated<3

(art by @wengwengchim on tw)

[greypoth0ts]

Comfort from Akaashi

I am still on the roll with the sad comforting fan fics cos life is shit right now but just let me project it here

Characters: Akaashi Keiji

Genre: sadness, comfort & fluff!

Not once, twice.. but thrice. Your ex boyfriend cheated on you. First two times.. yeah. It hurt.. You kept questioning why you. You kept asking, is it because I am not good enough? But when it came to the third time.. you.. felt.. numb.

You knew better, you knew the process. Somedays you lie down in bed sobbing, hoping someone would hold your broken pieces together. You want to be loved, you want to be loved right. You want a love that's unwavering. You want a love that is loyal. Soft at the right time. The kind where you feel like.. its us against the world.

But what did you get? You got.. a dude who cheats. Despite your good heart, giving chances and chances. Over and over again.. the cheating keeps resurfacing. You stopped questioning why you.

You don't ever want to go through this again. You've had enough. You want to put a stop to this because you know and you realise your worth. So you know the only way to control this situation, is that you leave. You leave 6 years worth of memories behind and start afresh.

Akaashi has been there with you through it all. Your first heartbreak, the good times and the bad times. Akaashi always made it a point to be there. He wouldn't miss it for the world, he says. So of course, the first, the second time he cheated, he was there for you. But you haven't told him about the 3rd. Akaashi was your best friend from the start. You both grew up together. Akaashi knows you, inside out. Even better than your ex boyfriend, I must say. A change in your voice, or even just a look on your face.. he knows what's up.

Akaashi has loved you fiercely in all forms.. good days.. He's there. He's there to ride the high with you. And on the bad days where you can't even pick yourself up to function.. He is what keeps you going. He helps you function. So for Akaashi.. he has seen them through it all. You could call him at 3am in the morning sobbing.. and He'll appear at the door with flowers(you don't know how he manages it but he does) and ice cream. This time round its no different. Akaashi is the constant in your life. You could always count on him.

"babe. could you please.. come over? I don't know how to go into details right now.. but I just need you to be here." you quivered as you spoke over the phone to Akaashi.

It was 2am in the morning.

"sure, babe. give me 15 minutes, see you. hang in there." it may not be as assuring, but it has been the most assuring thing you've heard in awhile.

Sure enough, 15 minutes later, you could hear his car pull up on your driveway.

"I'm here." - your phone lighted up. It was Akaashi that texted.

Your hair is a mess, you're in your sweats. You dragged your feet to the door.

And as soon as you open the door, even before you could say anything.. Akaashi pulled you close into his arms.

"its okay, you're safe with me now. we'll figure it out. okay?"

You buried your face in his chest. You could barely say anything. All you did was let out sobs. You tried your best to keep it in, you tried so hard to stand.. but you fell to the ground. Akaashi never once loosen his grip.

Akaashi scooped you off the floor and carried you to your room. He put you down gently on your bed. Wiping the tears off your face with his thumb.

Akaashi could feel that his chest tightening, like someone is ripping his ribcage apart. He hated to see you in this state.

Very gently, he put on his hoodie for you. "I know you like this.. I brought it for you. I hope it brings you some comfort." he whispers.

You could barely say anything. You looked at him with tears in your eyes.. hoping he knows that you are very appreciative of him.

He gets onto the bed with you. Pulls you closer to him, pulls the blankets to cover the both of you. Holds your hands and keeps you warm. You sit comfortably in silence together, candle light flickering.

Akaashi's had enough. He doesn't want to see you in this state again. He knows that he can give you better, treat you better, like the queen that you are. He gathers all his courage. You could feel him tightening his grip when your hands are interlocked.

"y/n. I know maybe its not what you want to hear right now. or maybe its not even the right time. but I don't care. I love you. I loved you the day we met. I loved you since we were kids. I watched you grow, I've been there to ride through your highs with you. and for every time you've fallen, I've always picked your pieces up and glued them together for you. But I think it's enough, y/n. I don't want to see you go through this again. I love you, not just in a way where I just want to be your bestfriend, picking up the mess. but I love you in a way where I want to be able to protect you, to treat you right. to give you the love you deserve. I love you in the way where I know I will want to marry you someday. I love you and I can't promise you that we won't fight or argue. but as long as I love you, I will honour my promises, I will take care of you & I promise you loyalty and happiness to the best of my abilities."

"I know its..."

Even before Akaashi could finish his sentence, you kissed him. You loved Akaashi when you first met too. But circumstances never really fell into place so the both of you just remained as best friends.

"I love you too Keiji, I know it's too soon, with everything that is happening, but we could take it slow."

He heaved a sigh of relief. "finally.." he says.

The both you sat up and embraced each other tightly. You know that from now on.. you are safe. You forever will be.

Love with Keiji is fierce, he does not let you get away with bullshit and calls you out for it. He nurtures you gently. Keiji is loyal. He is soft when you need him to and love with Keiji is reliable and exclusive. You never have any trust issues with him.

likes & reblogs welcome :)

[wagner-fell]

Mari kicked down the dressing room door with a bang so loud Kevin jumped and spilled his hot coffee cup all over himself. Hearing his yelps of pain, Astrid peaked her head out of the curtain, laughed at his expense then shut it again. Maria ignored that.

They strutted out to where the boys were sitting and struck a pose. “Can I rock cottage core or can I rock cottage core?”

Kit didn’t trust himself to speak. He simply nodded instead. While the baby blue dress with short, ruffled sleeves looked a bit out of place paired with Mari’s bulging muscles, she looked absolutely stunning.

The Merry Hoes were located in the back room of the antique store Kevin’s family owned. The Chu’s just got a large donation of vintage clothing. Mari had just gotten their pay check from the downworlder gym she worked at. Kit and Astrid really didn’t want to do their maths homework. It was destiny.

Despite being downworlders both Blessica and Kevin still lived at home. Mari, though, lived with the rest of their pack in an old Edwardian mansion a few blocks away from school. However the five of them slept over at each other’s place of residence so often they blurred together in the young Herondale’s mind. He could really only tell them apart by their smells.

Mari’s reeked of dirty laundry as they were one of four folks on the feminine side of the gender scale out of the lycanthropy of London, Blessica excluded. Her house smelled like Ube, a type of yam her Filipino parents put in everything. Kit couldn’t complain. Ube flavoured ice cream was the best thing he’s ever eaten. Aside from Mari. Though he wasn’t usually the one… Nevermind.

Kevin’s house smelled of Longjing tea and red wine. A peculiar combination that oddly enough, worked quite well.

Astrid had two homes as her parents divorced at the age of six. Stepping into her mom’s house was like stepping into a cookie factory. Which made sense as her mom owned a bakery and lived above it. Kit didn’t know exactly what Astrid’s dad’s place smelled like, let alone looked like, but he could make an educated guess that it was similar to the Los Angeles Institute because it was in LA too.

After they separated, Miss Yang fled to Devon to dodge the possibility of seeing her ex-husband when they exchanged Astrid. Kit related to her on a deep, personal level.

Now Astrid spent her summers in America and Kit drained his battery on international phone calls.

Her three months in the USA each year helped him bond with her better when they had first been introduced. For example, her ringtone was the Perry the Platypus theme song. Blessica, Kevin and Maria had no clue what it was but when the music reached Kit’s ears, the two sang an epic duet that put Kiss Me More (the second most iconic duet in history) to shame.

“How much is this anyway,” asked Mari, turning in a circle to see if there was a price tag. In the process she sent the fabric fluttering as she went. It made them look more magical than ever.

“There is no price on fabulousness,” said Astrid. She had on loose, black dress pants, a white shirt, and black suspenders with gold blemishes.

“Yes there is,” replied Kevin. “54 euros.”

“54 euros,” exclaimed Mari.

“Well it would have been €34 but you made me spill my coffee and this shirt was 20 so..”

“Seriously, Kev. I will fuck your mom. You think I won’t?” A pause. “Wait, only twenty €20?”

“Oh, I know right! There is this incredible thrift store down on Fleet Street and-”

“Don’t care,” interrupted Mar. She took one last look in the mirror before turning back to him. “I’ll give you your parents' price, not your dramatic ass’s one.”

Kevin rolled his eyes. “Fine. But it’s an extra €10 for the shoes.”

Mari looked down at her tan sandals. They leaned against the door they just excited to take the footwear off. “Racist,” she muttered under her breath.

“I’m literally Chinese.”

“Homophobic, then.”

“Pansexaul,” he sang.

Mari was silent for a moment before she banged on the door into the room Blessica was changing into her rose pink gown. “Blessie! Do I have permission to call Kev transphobic in your name?”

“Hey,” said Kevin, looking up from his task of rubbing a paper towel across his sheer, white shirt. “That’s cheating. Blessie, don’t listen to them!”

The nickname ‘Blessie’ was what her family exclusively called her. She turned red when they had first found out. Granted, it wasn’t hard to make Blessica blush. All she had to do was stand in Kevin’s general area.

“Blessica,” called Mari once again. When she still didn’t answer, Maria stood up and pressed their forehead against the changing room door. “You okay?”

“No,” Blessica croaked out finally. Her hoarse voice was laced with sorrow. Upon hearing her speak, Kevin abandoned any hope of saving his top and joined Mari at the door. Kit and Astrid were quick to follow.

“Hey,” said Astrid gently. “What’s wrong?”

Blessica began to sob. “The dress doesn’t fit right,” she whimpered.

“That’s okay,” soothed Kevin. “We have other sizes.”

“Kev, it doesn’t fit my body because it wasn’t made for my body. I just feel so ugly.” All the other Merry Hoes made various sounds of distress. Kit was instantly reminded of Dru,

He was suddenly fifteen again. In Ty’s bedroom as he told him of all the times she’d been told she wasn’t pretty by members of the Shadowhunter society. And all the times Emma or Julian or another member of her family had reassured her that she was. The thought occurred to Kit that maybe they weren’t Emma-y as Blessica needed them to be.

“It’s just like,” started Blessica, “I started taking Estrogen seven months ago, you know? And I still don’t have anything to show for it.”

His mind was racing a mile a minute. “Yes you do,” he said.

“I do?” she asked, sounding dubious.

“Your voice!”

“You do have a really nice voice,” agreed Astrid. “You could totally narrate audiobooks or something.”

“No it’s not,” grumbled Kevin.

“Kevin,” said Mari, glaring daggers at him. ‘Kevin’ in this case didn’t mean Kevin. It meant ‘Shut your mouth right or I will actually kill you’.

“No, not like that! It’s just…” he was blushing profusely now. “Her voice is like the rain. Most of the time it’s soft and warm and it wraps you in one big, wet hug. You can’t help but feel, well, blessed to get to feel it touching your skin.. But when it rains hard you feel every single drop land. But no matter what kind of rain it is, the impact is always enormous. Uh, yeah, her voice is like that.” There was a moment of prolonged silence, where Blessica had stopped crying but no one was brave enough to talk.

The door opened and Kit, Kevin and Astrid stumbled backwards. Mari didn’t. Stupid gorgous jock, Kit thought as she survayed her inferiourors.

Blessica stood in the open doorway. Her eyes were puffy and red. The dress looked perfect on her. Not that this style hadn’t looked perfect on Mari but their arms were so thick, they filled up the entire selve. Blessica was so petite you could see her bones clearly through the skin. It highlighted the flowness of the gown extremely well. “You guys like my voice?” Then, “why are you all staring at me, is it that bad?”

“Blessie,” said Mari. “You can’t just put on that in front of four people who like women and expect them not to stare.”

“Respectfully, of course,” added Kit.

“Just tell us if it makes you uncomfortable,” agreed Kevin.

“Step on me,” breathed Astrid.

“But then again,” said Mari, “you validate yourself too.”

“Run me over with a cement truck.”

“We can see your hot as fuck. But more importantly you have to believe you’re hot as fuck.”

“You could literally kill me and I’d get on my knees to thank you.”

Blessica was blushing as hard as Kevin now. They sheepishly smiled at each other before turning away. “Simp,” said Kit and he held out his hand. Astrid dutifully rewarded him with a high five.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am on the trans spectrum but I am not mtf. If you are and you feel misrepresented please feel free to private message me or just leave a comment tell me how I can fix it.

@the-wckd-powers @book-dragon-not-worm @thechangeling @the-blackdale @ithurielkeepsgettingkidnapped @illusions-give-reasons-to-live @shelvesofgold @arangiajoan @maxboythedog @noah-herondale-lightwood @its-taff @cncnbr @sofiatheskeleton @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @im-not-ruined-im-ruination @adoravel-fenomeno

Let me know if I left anyone out. Also let me know if you want to be added or removed from the tag list.

[concubuck]

((everyone's listing how their muses feel about polyshipping!!

So first how I feel: the other two fandoms I've RPed in the most are Homestuck—where poly relationships are canonically the default expectation in most of the characters' cultures—and Transformers—where over the past near-40 years fandom has collectively decided things like "if you're a jet then your default romantic relationship is a threesome instead of a couple" and "if seven robots combine into a big robot then they're a polycule now"—so I'm used to RP circles that lean toward treating poly ships like the default.

In addition, I don't like sticking ships in separate verses. I find it limits character development & a muse's social circles if, for instance, the muse's development only happens in one verse with one romantic partner, or they only interact with their romantic partner in a "this is its own verse" void where neither of them ever meets any of the other's friends because doing so would cause conflicts with each other's verses. So I only write this as a singleverse blog. Everything happens in the same verse.

Polyshipping allows a character to date multiple folks without having to set up separate verses, and without having to deal with cheating drama. (Unless we want to deal with cheating drama. But that's not the topic tonight.)

tl;dr: I'm game for polyshipping, and I prefer it over putting different ships in separate verses. I'm willing to finagle characterization and come up with convoluted scenarios to get the involved characters on board with a polyship.

Now, how Alastor feels: sexually, he'll screw anybody but Vox, so no problems there. Anybody entering any relationship with him—romantic, sexual, friends-with-benefits, BDSM buddies, etc—has to understand from the start that he won't be sexually exclusive. Romantically, it's extremely difficult to flip the switch in his head that triggers romantic attraction; and even if somebody DOES flip it, he Does Not Want Romance so he's more likely to withdraw than pursue it. So getting him that far in the first place is PRETTY HARD.

If he DOES ever get that far? Right now his understanding of poly romantic relationship is sort of stuck in the 1920s—"what, you mean like Mormons?"—with a smattering of people he's known over the years in triads or more who kind of keep that business to themselves rather than talk about their relationship's inner dynamics, so he thinks of those folks more like outliers than like something he could end up in.

So like, of his own volition he wouldn't consider it. If he gets into a formal romantic relationship, by default he'll consider himself romantically exclusive and he'll expect his partner to be operating on the same assumption. But he'd be willing to discuss the possibility of a poly or open relationship and he could be talked into it. (And if all the muns involved think it sounds Fun, I would ensure we'd find a way to talk him into it.)

At the moment, the one person he's closest to "in a relationship" with is one of his alternates. They've exchanged "I love you"s but in his mind that's not quite romantic love, it's some sort of "I love you like I love me which is bigger and more important than any other kind of love and is definitely more important than romantic love" category.

Which means, in his mind, both he and his alternate are still romantically open. If his alternate starts developing romantic feelings for someone, Alastor will be excited for him and demand to meet them. His alternate's lover is his lover-in-law. Half-lover. Step-lover? Whatever. Don't think about it too hard.

tl;dr: Alastor is sexually open to everyone, and disinclined toward romance, but if he ever gets a romantic relationship he'd consider it closed; but he can be talked into open/poly relationships.))

[devilinsheepswool]

When MC first arrives at Devildom they warn Lucifer that the only way to keep them in line is by providing them with incentives, and that he will be wise to heed their warning because they tend to go a bit wild if not kept in check.

They warn Lucifer that punishments will not work, they will only accomplish the opposite because they will make MC want to retaliate. Out of curiosity Lucifer asks what kind of incentives; Grimm, food, clothes, jewels, merchandise, books, free passes from chores and other obligations, all things his brothers treasure.

MC responds with a simple shake of the head, they're much easier than that and with a small smile they reply.

"Gold Stars."

Lucifer intially believes they mean actual gold stars, he doesn't understand how that's any easier, in fact it seems very in line with what Mammon would ask for. He's about to call them insane but MC notices the look of disbelief on his face, their add on comes in late.

"Stickers, I mean." MC clarifies.

"What?" Lucifer asks.

"Gold star stickers. It's how my friends and loved ones get me to behave." MC explains. "I get a gold sticker for every time I do something good or helpful, and an even bigger sticker for whenever I hold back on doing something impulsive or 'dumb'." They continue to explain. "The small stars are worth 1 point and the big ones are worth 3."

"You're kidding, MC." Lucifer deadpans. "Isn't this what a teacher would use on a child?"

"I'm really not, it works on me too. I need consistency and to feel like I'm working up towards something rewarding in order to actual do anything."

"Rewarding, how?"

"I'm glad you asked. Remember how I said that the normal stars are worth 1 point and the big ones worth 3? Well, by the end of the week if I've acquired at least 30 to 40 I get treated to an ice cream sundae on Sunday, I can only get 5 small stars per day with the exception of a big star every now and then. If I go over 30 or 40 I get extra toppings."

"That seems oddly simple." Lucifer states still looking MC up and down quizzically.

"It is!" MC exclaims pulling out a chart from behind their back. A chart large enough to fit multiple stickers on it, the chart is divided into six sections: Monday through Saturday. "Here." They hand him the chart. "You're in charge of stickers."

Dumbfounded, Lucifer takes the chart sheet in his hands. He has the passing thought 'if only my brothers were this easy.' Before dismissing it completely, knowing that there are easier things wished for.

"This will ensure you behave?" He asks once more for clarification.

MC only simply nods.

"You put it up there." MC continued pointing to the refrigerator. "so that everyone sees and I feel a sense of accomplishment."

"Are you sure you want it up there?" He asks tiredly. "Won't the others tease you?"

"Yeah, probably." MC answers matter o factly. "But you won't be buying them a fancy Sundae at the end of the week, or will you?"

"So, now I'm the one buying you ice cream? When did we agree to this?"

"I mean... I thought that was implied by you being my assigned sticker giver. Besides it's a small price to pay for my good behavior, don't you think?"

"Are you threatening me?" He asks looking up at them with a quirked eyebrow, even if so it's not like they're asking for much. He wishes his brothers asked only for the same to ensure their well behavior... but unfortunately life is not that easy.

"No." They answer with such genuinety that he almost thinks they're messing with him. "I'm just trying to make life easier for the both of us; the idea is to ease me into a new environment and eventually I won't need the stars anymore to ensure I behave. If I don't maintain consistency I let my environments shape me and that's not always a good thing but like this I keep myself in line regardless of my new environment."

"Very well, all be it for my peace of mind." Lucifer sighs pinning up the laminated sheet on the fridge.

At first the brothers do tease MC about it, but MC doesn't really seem to care all that much as they do their chores happily with the promise of ice cream in mind. Eventually the teasing stops, after all, how fun is it to tease someone who doesn't really care?

But it starts with Beel noticing, MC gets treated to a sundae from Madam Screams every Sunday that leaves him watering at the mouth. Well, now Beel wants in on the action. He asks Lucifer to do the same for him.

Lucifer doesn't really care, Beel is probably one of the most well behaved of his brothers save for when he goes on his hunger rampages or acts out because of food. He doesn't think much and accepts to do the same for Beel upon his request.

Now it's not just MC and Lucifer going out very Sunday to Madam Screams but also Beel and the fact that they're all going out in a group makes it feel somewhat exclusive... that mixed with the fact that MC has to separate from Mammon every Sundaybto go pick up their Sundae and we all know how much Mammon hates being apart from MC add into Mammon demanding that Lucifer do that same for him.

Things have just become interesting. Mammon is the brother that needs this the most in Lucifer's eyes but he doubts his brother can completely behave, regardless he doesn't stop his brother from trying after all it's to his own benefit (Lucifer's) maybe now he'll be able to get some more work and rest in.

Well the said is done, it doesn't completely work but he has noticed Mammon behaving a lot more than he usually did. Not to add that he's gotten competitive with the other two about who can earn more toppings on their sundae than the rest... even if he ends up losing every time.

Asmo is the third to fall into the trend. After all, a Sundae by Lucifer's treat and by side MC!? What could possibly be better!? Besides the game looks really fun, and now Asmo is eager to join in on the fun.

It's not like Asmo is ill behaved or boisterous in any way, so he doesn't have to make much of an effort but some times he will slip up and it's only then that he makes an effort.

Levi is the fourth to fall into this game. As always it's his envy that causes him to get involved in MC's and his brothers game, and who can blame him? I mean who likes feeling left out, right?

The following Monday during dinner he starts to pout and complain about how he isn't being included in the most indirect round about way.

"After all what did I expect, it's not like you guys would include me in your game..."

"It's not a game Levi, MC and the others have to earn their ice-cream." Lucifer clarifies putting down his eating utensils.

"You don't have to lie to me, Lucifer." Levi pouts. "Its not like I want to be included in that normie game you guys are playing anyway!"

Lucifer lets out a tired breath as he asks himself whether he really wants to deal with this right now... well, the answer is that he doesn't but he isn't going to leave his brother sulking about not being included, after all, it'll only get worse the longer he leaves him sulking.

And just like that Levi's in.

Those left are Satan and Belphegor and, of course, he doesn't expect either to willingly participate. I mean they won't obey him or behave on a regular basis, in fact it's the complete opposite; they usually go out of their way to make his life harder, so why would they participate in a game that requires them to do something that is supposed to make his life easier?

He won't bother with them, after all, he's far too busy with the work he has from Diavolo as of lately.

But then Satan surprises him by announcing that he to will join this game. Of course, Lucifer is suspicious of Satan's intentions after all why would he willingly chose to make Lucifer's life much easier?

Satan claims he just wants to feel involved, and since everyone is already doing it he might as well too.

Lucifer's on guard with Satan, he's trying to figure out what he's scheming but Satan genuinely seems to be doing what he should.

Still, Lucifer can't help but check his drawers and closet when he finds Satan leaving his room after having claimed that he was only sorting the clean laundry to its appropriate places, and he can't help not double checking his drinks, or looking over his things when Satan brings them to him.

Satan is behaving and he takes pleasure in how uneasy that makes Lucifer. The look on Lucider's face whenever Satan does something good or helpful with a smile and nothing more is priceless. Of course, it's not like Satan is going to let Lucifer get to comfortable. If Lucifer does get too comfortable Satan won't have any trouble playing a small and subtle prank on Lucifer to keep him on his toes.

Not to add that Satan does cheat regularly when participating in the game, usually playing Mammon out of his points or taking credit for his work, or using Mammon in order to enact his pranks on Lucifer so they won't get traced back to him... yep, poor Mammon.

Lastly, is Belphie. He shows the most resistance to the game, it takes to much energy and effort neither of which he cares to spare on a silly game.

But as much as he hates to admit it. He hates waking up to an empty house on Sunday; there's no Beel or MC to greet him and the fact that everyone else is also playing along with the game makes him feel excluded. It's not bad enough that he was locked up in the attic for the longest time and only came back after all the other brothers had already formed bonds with MC but even now they get to spend more time with them all because of that dumb game.

So in the end, as reluctant as he might be he announces in the most nonchalant and anticlimactic way that he too will participate in the dumb game.

Much like Satan, he'll either mooch of Mammon's points or use Mammon to get out of trouble for certain things. He'll petition Lucifer about being able to share points with either Beel or MC because that chore was a "combined effort".

In the end all the brothers end up participating, it doesn't 100% solve the occasional behavioral problems and shenanigans that occur within the house of lamentation but it does help placate them if even by a small percentage.

And it's only when he gets to sit down and breathe after a long day of paperwork and meetings that Lucifer notices what a good influence MC has been on his brothers.

Of course, by this point MC no longer needs the gold star sticker system to keep in line but at this point they don't have the heart to end the game... not when everyone has come to have fun with it so much.