#its not about whether or not it affects me its that theyre at a point where they can dare to do THIS

[beetroot-merchant]

we need to start killing ceos

[bulbabutt]

okay. lets bite the bullet and talk about 2012. lets talk about child abuse, familial abuse, generational abuse, toxic family units, whatever you wanna call it. lets talk about it and whether it exists in this show. i actually encourage you to read this no matter what your take is, just to hear it out. let me be FUCKING clear: i love this show, but i get scared to talk about it seriously. everyone on every side is defensive all the time but i love every turtles show to no end.

this post is going to go over so well and not controversially at all.

precursor: every splinter is some level of shitty dad. he always has been. the fucking bare bones of the character is that he raised his children to kill the man who killed his own father. thats inherently fucked up. every splinter has some level of fucked up about him. maybe hes inattentive, or neglectful, or strict, or secretive, maybe hes just not very good at dealing with his kids. splinter is supposed to be far from perfect. thats what makes him splinter. maybe he grows over the course of a series, maybe he doesnt. maybe hes supposed to be shitty his whole life, maybe hes not. thats just splinter. each is adapted differently depending on the story being told.

and 2012 has a very interesting tone to its story.

lets start at the beginning, back in japan. this is season 3, was this story what they intended when they started writing the show back in season 1? probably not, theres probably things they would have written differently had they known this was where splinter's story started. thats kind of the way tv works, you add the details later. but for our sake of analyzing the character of splinter as a whole, it seems best to start here as if its all intentional.

hamato yoshi is a member of the hamato clan. theyre a very traditional old ninja clan in the modern world, they have old feuds and theyre trying to keep their culture alive. they're literally the last of a clan of ninjas like this, having (supposedly) defeated the foot clan (their generational enemies) back when yoshi was a baby. hes set out to lead next, and its very important to him. and yet hes married to a woman who works in the city, a modern woman who doesnt live the life he does. she even moved to be with him. i feel the need to compare this to how men in the real world who want traditional wives never go for women who are willing to be their housewives, always try to break down the independent ones. splinter seems unconcerned with how his wife wants to live. with how she wants their daughter to be raised.

im not necessarily saying this is how this comes off in the show, but i find it interesting to think about. this is absolutely the most rounded version of tang shen as a character (thus far) it stops her being just a name on a page "hamato yoshi's love and the object of his enemies affections who died" and turns her into a woman who has a stake in the story. gives her more agency.

its very interesting that this show implies an actual relationship between tang shen and oroku saki, albeit a one-sided one that didnt work out, but they do seem to have parted on equal ground. the pair of them discuss yoshi's inattentive duties as a husband and father, that he's too obsessed with the tradition and lineage of his clan. honestly, if this woman just took her baby and left no one would blame her! he has his priorities set, and it leaves no room for her and their newborn baby. if she ran away with saki at this point, the story would make just as much sense.

but then disaster strikes, saki learns the truth about his family, that he was actually a child of the foot clan (honestly i wish we saw this play out instead of jumping ahead in the story but thats not what this post is about) and he kills he and yoshi's father. revenge for him having killed his. cycles of abuse and revenge that never end. the pair of them were raised in this society that values lineage like this, that would kill for it. its no wonder they both grew up this way.

anyway, tang shen is killed by a blow meant for yoshi, and saki takes their child and raises her. based on splinter's lack of desire to be a father so far in the story, its honestly not one you can blame him for. its fucked up, but it makes sense. saki does to miwa exactly what his father did to him. cycles of abuse and revenge.

yoshi loses everything, and moves to america. he's turned into splinter the mutant rat, and gains four turtle sons.

so as established, he's not exactly grown up with a stable family life. he obviously, while human, wasnt acting as a stable father for the child he intended to have. so how good is he at this?

ive talked before about how the 2003 show treats the turtles as kind of one whole unit. they don't have individual relationship arcs, they dont have overarching storylines where they grow apart or closer, they're always in each other's corner.

2012 makes this more dynamic. here we see that 15 years seeing no one but each other, growing under this splinter has come with its own quirks. these brothers dont understand each other that well. they get jealous of each others treatment, some are left out, some are misunderstood. raph resents leo, none of them appreciate what donnie does, mikey bothers everyone else for attention, etc. it creates a really good starting place for this show.

(the issue i have with this show is more that they never really open or close any of these beats, at least not in ways that last. but boy does it make for some good dramatic scenes)

we see over the course of this first season that splinter treats his children just as he was, as little ninjas more so than sons. he raises them to follow his traditions, the ones tang shen never cared for. but this is all he knows how to be! you cant really blame him.

most people bring up mikey as the quintessential example when they talk about this, i dont want to do that cuz i know you've all heard it. while i think his father does disrespect him and i think it is paid forward and his brothers do too, i'd rather talk about raph for a change.

in one episode, raph loses his temper. to teach him a lesson, splinter makes his brothers pelt him in training while insulting him any way they can, and tells him to just... not lose his temper. this is a terrible lesson in general. instead of trying to coax out why he might be angry, it just plays up that if he loses his temper bad things happen.

splinter in this episode basically encourages bullying. this comes up a lot when it comes to raph. to compare, in 2003 when raph loses his temper, hes told to blow off steam which he does. his brothers don't blame him for having emotional outbursts, they know thats just how he is so they know how he needs to cope with it. he's given the physical space to let it out.

im not saying this show needs to be like that show, im just saying thats a version of this story where the outcome is better for raph as a whole. since this outcome is not as good for him emotionally, you can tell why he's still got these emotional issues. splinter never helps him more than that. thats more why this raph differs from that one, if that makes sense. one has his family in his corner more than the other.

speaking of. raph has a pet turtle. this turtle is the only one he can talk to about how he feels. why might that be? it's the only thing hes kind and gentle to, and he refuses to let his brothers make him feel weak for being kind to it. where did he learn to be ashamed of being kind and gentle? thats a learned behaviour. in a house full of other men... yeah, that would happen. but whos values start that?

when this turtle gets some mutagen spilled on it, it tries to get revenge on his family. there is such a resentment going on here, its extremely juicy. the show chalks this up to "post mutation insanity", but its just as easy to think that everything raph has experienced has made him seem angry and resentful and perhaps scared to his pet, and that former pet wants raph to himself so they can be free. the frustrated venting of a child complaining about how no one understands him in such a big way turns slash into a vengeful monster, cuz thats all he's ever heard. it makes sense, he went from a little turtle to a fully cognizant adult aged being in an instant. emotionally no one would handle that well, and definitely not someone whos only ever heard the worst about people.

he comes around later. notably by being on his own, away from the hamatos.

again, im not saying the show is writing this intentionally, but i think tonally its in the zone where you could see this analysis as being canon. that these little pieces of narrative fit the worldview of a toxic family unit that isnt dealing with its problems in a healthy way.

there's other small aspects. leo slaps mikey early on, having seen it on his favourite show be used as a way of getting someone to calm down. mikey questions this behaviour, leo seems to feel bad about it when questioned. if we know that that behaviour was bad, what other things might he emulate in a similar way?

there's things like donnie's predatory behaviour towards april. in a world where all they ever knew was splinter's stories of the outside world (and perhaps television from decades earlier), hearing splinter's story of his love for tang shen, his rivalry with his own brother over her, you could actually see why he would behave the way he does, why he claims her the way he does. not as an excuse, but as a reason he learned the behaviour. and there's multiple opportunities for his father to tell him off. he never does. why would he? he knows no better.

this splinter, unlike every other, is not old or disabled. he doesnt require a cane (at the start, but also was never a good cane) and its interesting that despite being like... a 40 year old man in the peak of his life he does not accompany his sons on missions. he sits around doing nothing and disproves of his sons heroic actions. april literally calls him out for this at one point. the show is actually telling us some of this man's behaviour is wrong.

one of the more upsetting things that happens in this household is a lot of physical hitting. "theyre training" you might say. understandable. but when you see a lot of hitting come from the father in this show, played for a laugh, when you see splinter play the "drunk master" bit it makes you think. is that okay? isnt that a bit much?

the end of the muckman episode is a freeze frame of splinter (after having knocked out all of his sons to punish them for leaving while grounded) turning his anger on april and her running away. idk thats just not funny to me. this is a bit of the dating of the show, 2012 was a time where character's in shows were meaner, less affectionate, more bullying in nature. that was the sense of humour at the time. that isnt me making a judgment, it's just kind of the era. a pre steven universe world, if that makes sense. so many of the jokes that end in a hit aren't funny in 2024. especially not when they come from a parent.

when this splinter speaks about his kids to their brothers he often ends up insulting them. "you should be like mikey, he never overthinks because he doesn't think", this would be a big reason the boys speak about each other the way they do to their faces. puts forward a bit more of that bullying thing i mentioned earlier. if their own father talks about them like this, of course their brothers do too. so of course they join in and give payback.

again. splinter wasnt raised in a normal family. he was raised in a ninja commune with a bunch of murderers. he wasn't great with his wife and baby daughter. its not surprising that he's bad at this.

so, ive just said a bunch of things about what's wrong with this household as a whole. i think ive explained why the family unit behaves the way it does: generational teachings of feuds and traditional values. i dont think this makes the show bad! i, in fact, wish there was more of it. i think theres so much low hanging fruit that the show kind of wants to play with, but cant fully bring itself to.

specific example: during the space arc on a planet thats driving all the characters emotions against each other we get this amazing scene where raph screams at leo for being splinter's favourite. leo responds by hugging him. its really well done!

however its never brought up again, never actually getting into the nitty gritty of why raph feels like that is exactly what i think makes this show resonate with so many people

its dark! it pulls at your heart strings! it makes people feel seen! we go in mikey's head at one point and see such splintered (lol) personalities in his head. he has a huge anger problem (much like raph) in there. he retreats into imagination land when stressed. the show kind of toys with "these kids are fucked up!" but never lets those character moments go anywhere. i love how fucked up this family is. its so complex, it feels real. at least real to me. i wish it went that little step further and let the characters talk about these things a little more.

maybe you have a different experience, and thats fine! but i wouldnt brush off people like me who look at 2012 and say "these dynamics make me uncomfortable". to excuse it by saying "my family is like that and we're fine" sometimes i just wanna say... <:/ are you? have you talked about that? and if that's your read on it is that its fine, thats great. but some people notice patterns and those patterns can make them uncomfortable. i hope ive explained the patterns here.

i think thats why the fandom is as big as it is. this show would lead to the most amazing deep introspective fan-works youve ever seen, it lays the pieces out so perfectly for you to draw your own conclusions about why they are this way. you cant really blame people for talking about it as if its got a way higher rating than it does. it feels like it does.

i should say, i dont even know if i blame the show on its own for leaving those pieces laying there, it was on nickelodeon. i sense studio meddling in the tone. i mean, given that the show wanted to end with the big mutant apocalypse storyline, and yet the network wanted to end it with the big 87 crossover..... yeah i think its safe to say nick would rather they keep it light.

which is funny, because i think the most controversial thing i can say is i personally love the finale arc as the mutant apocalypse. it so encapsulates my favorite part of this show. to end this show in the darkest timeline and say "even though these characters are so far removed from who they used to be and even though the entire world is over they still have each other in the end" and i find that so perfect.

so. i understand that this is always a touchy topic. i know people want to brush it off as "people say the 12 brothers are abusive to mikey but mikey is fine", and i think thats a really skewed version of it from both sides. first of all. mikey is not fine, look in that boys head. look how he copes. he's not. but also, mikey is not the only victim. they all are. these turtles are victims of their upbringing, victims of generational war. of men who didnt know how to be good fathers in the first place. and thats good writing! it feels deep! it connects!

for more context: any fucked up way you can think of karai being raised by shredder? its probably the same way here. splinter and shredder were raised the same way.

i guess i think about this a lot, cuz i always see things like "oh, rise fans write crossovers where the rise boys love each other and have to teach the 12 boys how to be nice cuz they dont like 2012!" and i just think to myself:

guys. do you understand why a person might do that? why would someone (likely a teenager) want 2012 mikey to be treated nicely by a kinder more openly affectionate version of his own family? do i need to spell that out for you? why do we connect with media at all, why do we write our own stories about it?

if you genuinely dont. i mean, im glad for you. but sometimes you wanna imagine a world in which your own family is more openly affectionate with you. where they hug and tell you theyre proud and love you and you never have to question it, never have to look elsewhere for that kind of approval. its less that they're idolizing rise, and more that they're looking at the two families and saying "this one is emotionally mature and in touch with their feelings more than that one. how would that play out?"

doctor feelings ass response.

look, im not saying everyone understands 2012, that everyone likes or needs to like it. im just trying to say that i think these fucked up parts of 2012 are all around my favourite parts of the show. its an inspiring story about this fucked up little family that has no one but each other, and they're not great about it. they try, but they don't always get it right. i just wish the show would have talked about that part more. but i think that since it doesnt people get to fill in those blanks themselves, and they do it so beautifully. and i really wish people on the internet would be more kind to one another when they wanted to discuss these darker themes they find in it.

these are the reasons i love this show. i think its so very interesting that splinter dies this fucked up father figure who never really apologized for his behaviour. i like that raph needs to be held to stop punching his brothers. that leo doesnt have a good grip on what it is to be a leader, that he tries bad ways of doing it. i like that no one copes well! i like that their relationships are so complex! this show is messy! its good! i wish it was more messy!

and id love if we could be more honest about these things and how they make us feel instead of just brushing each other off as "likes the show" or "doesnt like the show". the things that make me uncomfortable are why i love this show and i'm pretty sure i'm not alone there.

[the-s1lly-corner]

What its like kissing the creepypasta characters

excluding the characters that im not comfy writing romantic for, for obvious reasons similar to the hugging post this is more so a rating thing instead of actual scenarios! honestly in love with these kinds of posts so im formally asking you guys to give me ideas in this vein because i love making hcs in this format/for general stuff eheheheh

SLENDERMAN:

if youve been on this blog for a while, you would know that i love when characters who dont have mouths/have nontraditional mouths nuzzle and press their face into yours. and i still love the idea, especially with slenderman ! the first time he 'kisses' you its probably the first time hes kissed ANYONE so the movement itself is probably a little... clunky... doesnt press too hard, actually i think he would struggle with the opposite. theyre gentle and fleeting, almost as if his inhuman strength and size would crush you if he let himself truly lean into it. i mean think about it, he hardly ever interacts with humans and when he does its for 'food', he has always only seen them as vulnerable and fragile. and whether malicious or not, he treats you as if youre made of glass. likes kissing the back of your hands too. 7/10, he gets bonus points since hes my fav + its the thought that counts

SPLENDORMAN:

very eager about showing you any level of affection, probably early in the relationship that he gets bold enough to kiss you. first kiss is probably more of a "in the moment" thing than "i planned this out and im going to ask" thing if that makes sense... similar to slenderman in regards that he presses his mouth to you, as i personally headcannon that his smile isnt exactly.. a real mouth, more so a false one. think like a layer of 'skin' covering his real one that he can rip out at any moment (same case for slenderman btw. same also apply to splendors eyes, more so markings than actual eyes). going back to his energy, hes very eager about it, might even lightly push you back with how much hes putting into it; he doesnt mean to, hes just so excited! likes cheek kisses and nuzzling your noses together 8/10

EYELESS JACK:

very wary about kissing you outside of those little pecks, for multiple factors. for one, his teeth. sharp teeth, he can accidentally cut you. other reason thats much darker, given that admin personally hcs that he goes into "frenzies" when hes hungry and reacts to blood like the sharks in finding nemo, if he accidentally cuts you when hes not.. well fed.. for lack of a better term... theres a risk there. REFUSES to kiss when he needs to go 'hunt' soon, not because he doesnt want you or your affection, but he doesnt want to take any risks. outside of that, he doesnt often seek out affection, so youre probably going to have to initiate it, unless hes feeling particularly clingy that day or jealous... hes very cold, please cup your hands on his face and warm him up. likes kissing your lips 6/10

LAUGHING JACK:

has to lean in at an angle in order to not poke you with his nose. has probably accidentally lightly scratched you with it when he got too excited. likes giving you forehead kisses for this reason because you can just angle your head down and he can go to town like that... sometimes leave lipstick marks on you.. if you personally hc that he can take off his makeup then please offer to fix it! hes going to be absolutely over the moon! likes wrapping his arms around you when he kisses you. does lots of kisses in quick succession rather than singular longer ones. probably wakes you up with kisses and greets you with kisses when you come home 8/10 i love him

MASKY/TIM:

nope, sorry. for masky hes not going to be taking off the mask around you at all. so if you want a kiss youre going to have to kiss the mask. though on rare occasions when youre alseep/half awake he will lift up his mask just enough to reveal his mouth and give you a kiss on your face. no particular place that he prefers to kiss you. though as said, its rare when he does this. in fact its not common for masky to seek out affection unless he feels more possessive of you than usual, be it because hes jealous or you are stress or you were just in a dangerous situation. 5/10, not much action but there is still care behind it

now as for tim... i think he would be more willing to give you kisses. probably gives you a quick one before you leave for work or something else, and greets you with one when you return home. thats a sweet thought, i think. more likely to give kisses during cuddle session, tends to kiss your cheek and neck (non sexually) while hes holding you to his chest. ponders. will give you a look if you mess with his sideburns and start giggling 6.5/10 love this man

HOODIE/BRIAN:

hoodie is a little more willing to lift up his mask around you, but only really up to the bottom of his nose. also has no preferred place to kiss you, but he seems to kiss your lips more than the other parts of you. sometimes his facial hair scratches against your skin and tickles. between him and brian i think hoodie is a little more blunt and serious about kissing. not to say hes not a little playful, love me some vaguely playful s/o hoodie hcs. probably picks you up off the ground too to 'trap' you, especially if youre fairly shorter than him (personally hc brian/hoodie is 6'') 7/10 love him

very similar to hoodie but i think he would be even more playful when it comes to you. leans into it when his facial hair starts tickling you, in fact i think it would devolve into him just tickling your sides. funny man. put him in the corner/j. like lj, he likes wrapping his arms around you when kissing you, this man is very into physical touch. will touch you any chance he gets; hand holding, cuddling, hugs, ect ect ect... sometimes starts smiling when you guys kiss so you have to give him a minute because he just has this huge grin on his face 8/10

PUPPETEER:

so you know how i said in the hugging post hes kind of a little shit? you know, literally basking in the fact that youre giving your time and self to him? i think that still applies here, maybe even more so since this is explicitly romantic. likes teasing you if you get flustered during your make out sessions, sometimes bombards you with kisses just to see your face redden... has probably leaned down and tapped his cheek as a silent yet teasing gesture, as if taunting you, letting you be the one to kiss him this once. also very cold, like physically. what being a spirit does to a mf. VERY tall, can easily evade any retaliation you throw his way (ie returning the favor of bombarding him with kisses), though im not sure how long he'd be able to resist.. 6/10

[irradiatedpiratebooty]

fallout tv show ghoul discussion

the only thing i dislike about the show is their retcon of ghoul lore- everything else is a banger i had a great time but the lore changing the ghouls baffles me, as it retcons and changes literally every other game in the franchise. its funny, im not mad about it, im ok with the show having different lore than the games. i just hope they make it clear that its an AU kind of thing haha mainly because if someone gets introduced to the series from the show, and they go off to play the games, theyre going to be confused. so, what are the changes? well-

in fo3, theres an entire side mission involving the underworld, where the ghouls there really hammer in that the rumors like; that they regen and so can only be killed by headshots, that they eat people, that they can go feral at any point, and that they're zombies.

all of this is just propaganda spread by the brotherhood and bigots to justify murder and genocide.

none of it is true. they bleed and die like anyone else. but in the show, these things are not rumors, and they are completely true. cooper constantly has to take this drug from a vial that prevents him from going feral. theres no explanation on where this medicine came from, who makes it, whats its made out of, etc.

so, while in the game, turning feral is unknown, seemingly at random (theories range from genetics, lack of socialization, insanity, radiation exposure, and time) and ghouls dont just- randomly turn feral. but in the show its enevitable and therefore the hate towards them is justified. the only things that are special about them is that they; age much, much slower than non-ghouls, that they can heal faster using radiation. (to my knowlege, they still need to be patched up. they do not just regen. they can still get shot to death, or maimed. they just heal a little faster.) and they need more potent drugs, as it doesnt affect them as strongly (mentioned in fo3 by some ghouls in a subway) the changes made in the show heavily changes the stories of a few characters and places in the entire series.

for fo3: changes the entire underworld. these ghouls cannot leave this place. if they do, they're shot and killed immediately by the brotherhood nearby. they discuss how they're discriminated against. in the fo3 dlc, point lookout, the ghoul there presumably hasnt left the manor he lives in for well over 200 years. he wouldnt have access to these vials. tenpenny tower. their ban on ghouls would be justified then. the entire narrative involving the water purifier and putting the serum in that will kill off all mutants. with the changes the show makes, the decision whether or not you do this has no weight and eradicating mutants becomes justified. for fallout new vegas: dean domino. he hasn't left the Sierra Madre in over 200 years. he wouldnt have access to these vials either and would have probably gone feral a long time ago. for fallout 4: diamond city. diamond city's ban on ghouls wouldnt be an issue anymore. since in the show, ghouls cant die aside from headshots, the ghouls being thrown out into the wastes to the elements wouldn't really be as heavy of an issue.

(i cannot comment for fallout 1 and 2, as i am not as knowledgable about the ghouls in those two games. feel free to add on in reblogs if you know more about them than i do)

i love the show, i think its awesome. im basically consuming it now with the idea that its canon -within its own story and lore- and is separate from the game itself. cooper is a badass and the changes work for the show itself, not so much the entire series. which is fine in my eyes.

[collegetennisoriginstory]

you said that you were taking suggestions about trans scenes! from my own experiences and what ive seen, i know that transphobic opponents actually going so far as to forfeit/refuse to play and get disqualified by proxy are also possible, or just refusing to play until theyre threatened with being disqualified

the locker room is also going to be a whole thing depending on how the trans person feels/how their team reacts

local news outlets/university newspapers will also sometimes ask questions about being trans and how that affects their play (and its a toss up whether or not theyre meaning to be invasive/rude or just very uninformed)

youre very cool for making your games more diverse and taking suggestions!! traversing sports as a trans person is such a unique experience and im glad its showcased in this IF!!

Hey, thank you so much for your input! I really appreciate the perspectives and ideas you've given me, they're so so valuable and I'm so grateful!

I will need to write more official matches in a shorter span of time (with less detail than this Empire State match) so I definitely could picture writing a slightly shorter scene where MC's opponent just straight up refuses to play them--or just with a longer altercation at the start/end, so I'll definitely take your suggestion in for when I do write that!

As for the locker room dynamics, that's a great point! I'll think more about that. Would you have some examples about some of the things/issues/thoughts/insecurities that may come up? I can imagine changing in front of people or how common it is to be nude in the locker room/just convos about being uncomfy/ comfy in one's body may come up?

As for the interviews--noted and agreed! I've been excited about writing an interview after a key match for a long time and this will definitely be one of the things that may be mentioned for trans MCs! Are there any ways in which the interviewer could be thoughtful rather than rude/crass with their question?

[storgicdealer]

one of my BIGGEST and important rambles on ava that questions a lot of stuff that was accepted as factual a lot of times

dimensions, rocketcorp and virtual reality in ava

initially inspired by these tags from @sticksstonessteel and the thinking about rocketcorp simulations. and a certain hc i saw on ao3 once and remembered

eventually it turned into an existential crisis. im sorry moots

warning: OKAY. so. this is very clumsily made and its an assumption made both of canon info and theories that might feel as a complete reach.

this text touches upon possibility AND obscure ideas that might not have definitive proof in canon. there might be not a direct link of events here. but it is very, VERY long and touches many different subjects at once. takes of this long ramble are bold (i could also mention strangely opposing points in the text because i re-thought many concepts along the process of this ramble and mightve not noticed it)

i was wondering about the way the technical-machine device stuff intermingles with the whole literal mercenaries (and a box used for torture) thing. but these tags made me think not only of that

what we've seen so far is that rocketcorp controls a variety of tech, both pc-like interfaces that only they have access to and more "regular" tech, like tvs on which videos from youtube can be played on. [kings backstory]. we've also seen a variety of different tech in the wanted-the box episodes, but not much of it can be used outside whatever advanced shit theyre doing inside the corporation. one of these things however can be used which is surveillance tech, it feels like an important thing to note given that the importance of the corporation might suggest that rocket is responsible for city surveillance in one way or another as well

yet how exactly does a tech corporation tie in with mercenaries, weaponry (and literal torture)?

• rocketcorp

given, again, the grand variety of tech they possess and advanced technology they use, them using literal devices that real world users/sticks from a pc would use (control panel of the box) and it being restricted to them only made me think of something. the whole story of ava/m is built inside digital realms, outernet and internet. taking that into account, obviously, any kind of technological advances in these worlds are crucial to the way of how sticks in it interact with their already technological reality. which made a tech company like rocketcorp so influental in the first place

due to a piece of rocketcorps existence in the king episode and ava s2 teaser and prior to the release of the box i had a thought that the company specializes and presents itself as a "domestic" tech company. not the kind of company that meddles with grand technology and digital stuff, but the one that is accustoming citizens of the outernet with regular tech such as the mentioned tvs. the work of the mercenaries was always perceived to me as just an underground shady work of a company. but the box and a reminder of the chosens wanted poster made me rethink and question whether rocketcorp specializes on technology that changes and affects the reality they're living in, outernet and dimensions itself

i tried to observe the possibility of it and came around to three big thoughts, the most major one being the last

first thought that can give something to this thought is that mercs tech weapons influence physical properties of their world — ultimately damaging objects and people (like it was with the corndog stand and chosen), rendering the objects out of their usual state and bringing actual pain or messing with the state of a stick.

(its also worthy to mention that in the corndog short, prior to the merc and chosen chase appearing onscreen people in the short were already running away, and it does make me wonder if it happened out of potential fear of these weapons or, maybe, potential fear of the chosen one? bringing me back to my post on thinking how chosen & dark crimes were perceived in the internet and possibly outernet)

the fact that weapons changing literal existence of an object and glitching them are available to mercenaries of rocketcorp is a pretty big thing

another potential argument for it is about the memory scanner itself — a thing used for intrusion into a literal brain (code?) of a person. the obvious thing aside – the scanner literally looks like a vr helmet and i initially thought that it was its function before i saw what it was used for

the whole fact that this kind of advanced technology exists, honestly, surpassing the already existing level of technology in stickcity is something that could potentially connect victim and rocketcorp respectively to an ability to meddle with a literal living being, their memory and potentially their code. victim, aware and knowing the process of being directly created from someone's hand might've acquired the knowledge of influencing a stick's literal process of living over the course of all the years. which brings me to my major point:

• dimensions

we all know about the fact that initial pc programs are able to be used in the outernet, which by itself is an interesting discussion of internet and outernet intertwining once again. we know that rocketcorp and pc sticks use interfaces that real world users use. and we know about the existence of the adobe tool board that agent uses literally all their screentime and the adobeflash instruments in victims office. it wasnt a surprising thing to see given that we have mostly explored the way of how pc and internet programs work throughout the series, and it was thought about that well! nothing surprising about these tools being in the outernet as well, mustve acquired it from somewhere! (and honestly, given all the new insane character plot i didnt think about that deeply either)

over the course of events happening in the outernet we have never really seen pc apps used there physically prior to season 2, except for one time of alan's cursor being used there... that required an insane amount of coding and manifestation of the cursor in the outernet space that couldnt be achieved without a stick that is familiar with with a pc.

not only talking about yellows feats, the creation of darks portals is something worth mentioning as well. we know that he is extremely skilled in coding, with it most likely being his main activity (aside from terrorism) in his life in the outernet. no sticks that we've seen created something like literal dimensional portals, like dark did — and he is a stick that is accustomed to the pc and internet as well. and oh, orange. bringing their stylus to outernet and have it revoked almost immediately when caught (which is not surprising at all anymore, that the mercs and rocket workers took an immediate interest in it given canon information and all these theories lol)

and, unsurprisingly, purple, king and the unknown merchant in "the king" episode as well. we know that the minecraft icon could be accessed through a travel to a pc, and that purple was first introduced literally inside of a mac — and the whole bit of purple coming to alanspc trying to steal the icon that the cg had.

(another thought to mention is about the interdimensional travel — the whole fact that the internet and the pc realm is able to be accessed through programs brought to the outernet. (e.g. minecraft portals). but again, these programs were initially coming from a pc, and didnt exist in the outernet. where the actual hell did the blue merchant in the king episode come from????)

this whole fact shows that the only way to access pc programs in the outernet is for something or someone to bring it there.

and victim, posessing all the tools of the whole program he was created in, wouldnt be able to get it through regular means. whether that means acquiring it from someone's elses hands or going to a pc by themselves.

• virtual reality and the position of rocketcorp in outernet

now, im going to bring up outernet and internet intertwining again. outernet sticks do not interact with pc programs physically, like all avam main characters do.

the only times we've seen pc programs and apps physically interact with outernet were shenanigans with the cg, hollowheads, purple & king. people that actually had access to a pc in one way or another.

(..and the damn merchant.)

the fact that these programs existence is quite rare in outernet and maybe even unknown to some, having rocketcorp being a full-on restricted company with classified information, having high influence over tech, exchange of pc programs being seen as a shady activity(!!!!) (the king episode),

— could rocketcorp be somewhat of a main corporate that controls the fabric of the outernet and internet itself, being some sort of a power force and government-ish corporation to the outernet? perhaps, them being seen as officials that have limited knowledge of unaccessible pc programs and internet itself and exclusive (even divine?) power of it that only they are able to possess, providing it to the outernet, initially making them "the people in power" that stand higher than regular sticks of the outernet?

(essentialy, making victim a literal fucking dimension mastermind)

• important part about outernet sticks (that ill probably ramble about in an another post independently)

supposing that rocketcorp does possess power... would they have control over what they decide to stream and show with their tech?

the tv that we've seen in the king episode didnt show any other episode except for the minecraft one. heck, it could've been the only thing shown there.

and in general, it begs the question: are outernet sticks that never traveled beyond its space even aware of internet?

and could've they interpreted the episode above as just fiction, along with the confirmation that our main characters are the ones that are inherently tied with the pcs and the internet in different ways?

(PLEASE tell me if there's proof that confirms otherwise because its a very bold statement given how much outernet and internet are interlinked in the main story. its 2 am i havent slept sometimes i have amnesia and i might be forgetting something very crucial. this assumption was not fully comprehended by me before specifically because most outernet sticks are the same type with the cg and it was confusing when i was just getting back to avam a few years ago)

we also know about the box itself. or, to be more accurate, the boxes. the ones that both chosen and second were trapped in, at the same time, in different places. the ones that were, quite literally, simulations. the ones that have also used pc programs tools.

simulation isnt something that was seen as an ordinary occurence, but it was literally seen twice in the rocketcorp in the same episode. creation of a simulation doesnt seem like an activity that could be used by ordinary sticks either. giving potential highest influence of rocketcorp over pc and internet technologies and its providence, are they able to give simulation experience to others, allowing regular sticks to experience different dimensions in a controlled way? say, for example, in a game?

whoa finally i got it out of my brain. im going to drop family guy pose style

afterthought rollercoaster:

• as far as i remember we didnt see outernet citizens interact with internet like users do, but we do know they possess tech such as television again, that can be bought. there IS tech such as computers (tdls room) but we havent seen them being used by sticks that werent exposed to the concept of the pc and the internet. there is a possibility i missed out on outernet sticks using phones or other tech, but even with this, its possible that our internet is simply not accesible there

• given the possibility of rocketcorp delegating all technology and simulations, providing it to others, possibly allowing smaller companies to use their resources in different cities... is there a possibility that rocketcorp might've been responsible for the gold simulation incident?

• going back to weapons of the mercs, i do wonder whether, even with the pc apps ability to be used in the outernet, the apps themselves having any kind of influence over processes in the outernet — given the whole glitching thing that literally messes with physical objects and people. it is just my own theory, but i dont believe that the glitch thing that is embedded in these weapons comes from the outernet, either

• okay this is going to be a wild concept you dont have to read it

talking about the creation of outernet and the whole race of stickmen, right now i am tending to believe that outernet is still an extension of internet that might've appeared with its creation. i was always open to accepting it but slightly confused by the concept of outernet being natural (bc i constantly try to find logic in worldbuilding el oh el) and tried to suggest a theory that sticks of outernet might've also been created directly (which does feel like a reach atp). with the concepts i discussed in this ramble i dont really feel that confusion, but im honestly not abandoning the idea of creation at some point, either: specifically i had a thought that when outernet first appeared first sticks of that dimension were also created, potentially them finding a way into outernet in some way. but eventually outernet was built as an independent place for their kind and prospered by itself like any civilization would

oh my god im going to drop with exhaustion. but im so happy i got it out

self portrait of my sticksona right now

[luffyvace]

RANPO X LAZY MALE READER!!

Enjoy lovely readers! for these are the headcanons that won the poll!!♡

ranpo with a lazy male reader..an interesting topic

definitely. Especially since ranpo himself, is lazy

you two (dazai making it a trio) are the ultimate lazy duo

you guys never get work done outside your skills

maybe not even then

unless it serious y’all basically eat snacks all day and well…lazy around :)

Ranpo will only share some of his snacks with you

partly because your his lazy buddy and partly because your his boyfriend

even if you get your own if he runs out or sees one of his favorite snacks he’ll steal some of yours

To which you often move away from him to get him to stop

also don’t bother storing your snacks in your locker he’ll figure out the lock combo and eat them

bonus points if you break in his locker and steal his

at this point it’s a ‘would be romantic if you weren’t stealing it from each other’ war of buying each other snacks

also meaning you buy all his favorites and store it in your locker, knowing he’s gonna steal it, and he does the same for you

fukuzawa and yosano are used to you two’s antics of not wanting to do anything but kunikida just can’t take it

he thinks he might even go insane

actually this time

atsushi wouldn’t mind as much if your work load didn’t get dumped off on him

or if he didn’t have to clean up after you and ranpo’s snack mess

..

okay maybe atsushi is a little annoyed..

On the bright side you get lots of cuddles with ranpo

he’s the little spoon

likes to rest his head on your chest

wants to hear your heartbeat so he can fall asleep

your only complaint is that he gets snack and chocolate stains all over your shirt

even worse since your too lazy to do laundry

Oh well

if you wanna be the little spoon ranpo will whine and complain

“awhhhhh but m/nnnnnnn I’m so comfyyyyy”

you both keep persisting until you fall asleep

that cycle repeats every time you cuddle

even if he were to say yes you’d be too lazy to move

you’d likely end up just falling back asleep

ranpo would still get his way as the little spoon in the end

if you two live together oh boy you either call someone to do everything for you (kunikida)

or wait until said kunikida comes over,

turns on mom mode,

and scolds you while cleaning up + making dinner

it’s constant battles between who will do what

about literally anything too

”noooooo ranpo you do the laundryyyyy”

”but m/nnnnnnn I’m the worlds greatest detectiveeee, don’t you think I deserve spoiling??”

”you do but I’m too lazyyyy 😞”

”wowwwww so that’s how you feel about your boyfriend?? Your great detective??”

you: rolls over goes to sleep

”m/nnnnnn!! Get uppp! I did the laundry last timeeeeee!”

you, muttering before dozing off to sleep: “liarrr…”

ranpo pouts, flips over and goes to sleep as well

the laundry never got done 😋

honestly….how do I write these headcanons?!

you two are so lazy..! Nothing gets done!!

your dates are all in doors

there’s no cleaning

barely cooking

what do I say?!

I already covered physical affection too 🤦‍♀️

🧍‍♀️

stop being so lazy this is putting strife on me too!!

now I see how kunikida and atsushi feels..

what are we gonna do with you two..🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Wellllll…ranpo likely gives lazy kisses

theyre a bit long and not much effort is put into them, but love sure is

same with you!!

you two often give each other slow and gentle kisses while lazying around in bed<3

so cute!!💗

if you could ever get ranpo to cook somehow it may not taste good considering he doesn’t cook a whole lot..

your the same, except you get to choose whether your good or not

..laundry?

you rewear your same favorite clothes and ranpo pretty much does too

ranpo has worn your clothes before, claiming its his when you clearly remember buying it

you figured out it was yours but he was too lazy to take it off

“Awhhhh but m/nnnnn it took so much energy to get it onnnn”

”what?! I was planning on wearing that today!!”

”awhhh can’t you wear it tomorrow and I wear it today?!”

”only if you promise to wash it!”

”awhhhhhh!! 😞—

but I’m so lazy m/nnn”

he sits on the edge of the bed pouting

to which you take the opportunity to yank off the clothes he stole from you

”HEYY!! It took forever to get this on!! Don’t take it off!”

”it’s not yours! And if you don’t wanna wash it, you can’t wear it!”

”okay! okay! I’ll wash it! I’ll wash it!”

”good!” you: walks off to the car ”wait m/nn!! Come back! help me put it back on!!”

just for the record when you got back home it didn’t get washed

it got disregarded on the floor for a cuddles and kisses date on your bed

(yes your dates take place in your bed)

it takes forever for you two to arrive at work

your late more often than not

especially when debates about who has to drive happens

which is where kunikida steps in…again

he scolds you both for being too lazy to even move your hands and feet to get to a job which is very important because it brings in money that feeds you and..blah blah blah blah blah….

(you don’t even remember the rest you tuned out)

I honestly couldn’t choose as to whose more lazy between you two so I’ll let you do it

but in the case that your lazy and can still get some things done,

your really just burnt out not lazy yet it gets labeled as that

your tired from working and doing daily activities

especially if you have a cramped schedule like kunikida

well, maybe not like kunikida, just really packed

(No one can out-schedule that man I know it)

either way you likely do more cooking and a little bit more cleaning than ranpo

If your muscles are sore ranpo will give you a massage but your both laying down-

LOL

he might hire a professional chiropractor for a big event like your anniversary

also I feel ranpo’s love language would be quality time and physical touch

quality time because he just genuinely likes being around his boyfriend

it’s free and he feels good spending time with the one he loves?? Why not??

physical touch because it’s simply a easy and effective way for him to display his love to you

he probably leans more towards kisses in private

hand holding is his go two in public (mostly when he’s not eating snacks at the moment because he needs his hands to stuff his face—and so do you)

hugs/cuddles can go either way :)

Ngl the ada members find it cute when they see you two all snuggled up on the couch after eating a bunch of snacks

even if you two get on their nerve a bit, they can’t deny it’s truly adorable♡

thank you all so much for voting on my poll once again!!

I appreciate you all and deeply hope you enjoyed these headcanons!!!

[bookishfeylin]

ramblings sorry lol. such a horrific issue with sjms choices is that real abuse survivors are affected by how she and the fans treat an abuser. rhysand's controlling behaviour is very familiar to me and seeing people defend him and defend that specific behaviour is a horrible feeling. A friend of mine feels the same, we had very different experiences but both of us see similarities between what we went through and what feyre went through, which is such an amazing thing in fiction as a side note, seeing people who are like you or who went through the shit that you did and seeing them continue and live after is so cathartic, which is why im so mad at sjms choice to ignore that opportunity and cultivate an audience that celebrates and justifies abusive behaviour because her books do the same. This is even more of an issue because sjm decided to bring themes of abuse and mental health into her books, and act like the same abusive behaviour is somehow different purely because its tamlin not rhysand. Rhysands always been abusive from day one, why does the series act like its serious about mental health and abuse when sjms writes a love story/ramantasy between an abuser and the victim????

Also a little heartbreaking seeing feyre become somewhat irrelevant in her own story? the books dont feel like theyre about her anymore imo, its about rhysand...

Agreed, 100%. The same people who unironically post crap like this:

Somehow believe they are the end all authority on what is and isn’t abusive and believe that this series somehow handles those themes of abuse and mental health well. And that’s absurd to me.

They have no issues with how Feyre is treated, just who happens to be treating her one way or another. And that does a disservice to the themes this series is supposed to be tackling, because if the only litmus test for abuse is whether or not you like the love interest doing it then there’s no point in bothering to analyze the books through that framework in the first place.

[theoldoor]

vashrir doodle dump bc im not over them at all i was never over them i was jusbusy huhuhuhuuuh

i have been commissioning ppls for them to… heuehehe… soon stocking them up but i need to finish organizing his toyhouse profile first (THERES NSFW IN THERE DONT GO SNOOPING MINORS)

back on the rambling

i wanna focus more on them acting w each other canonically now LOL not much pathetic whimp fenrir but the canon fenrir who’d beat the shit out of me if i touched him once

bro theyre like reluctant confidants of one another. despite the constant bickering, they still know that theyre each others partners in crime. they “hate” one another because they understands the other lol

and because theres understanding, there will be trust so they often end up confiding in each other about things they wouldnt tell anyone else. both done under the guise of a casual conversation or an argument, but they both know its more than that

they bicker over the smallest things, “VASHA DID YOU LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN?!” or “who tf drank my coffee” but we all know that fenrir is going to close the door and aventurine is going to come back with an extra cup for fenrir

i hate old married couples + onto that point. they struggle with verbalizing their feelings, both of them, so they communicate through actions. with fenrir, he offers physical labors and aventurine give gifts (anonymously but we all know) or fix some of fenrir’s old trinkets. (fenrir holds onto every single thing that was given to him until it was fully and truly gone forcefully)

fenrir is comfortable with the physical interactions in combat or yk physical labor and such, but he’s awfully awkward when it comes to gentle touches or physical affection. Aventurine would use this to his benefit of course. Eventually, fenrir would become more comfortable with it, though he’d deny it til his last breath.

wait more onto the point of old married couple rambling - they both got a knack for getting into shits. whether its a physical fight or dangerous deal gone wrong, the one would show up almost too perfectly in time whether accidentally or intentionally, much to one another’s annoyance.

my ipad got a lil wipe so all the doodles and stuff are on toyhouse huhuhuhuhhhhhh, ,, ,,,, more is gonna come soon just LET ME GET OUT OF THE OFFICEE

[marleneismydopamine]

lily evans and marlene mckinnon

- Ultimate opposites attract

- Lily leaves little notes in Marlenes bag that can just say little things like “I hope you have a nice day” or its a long ass poetic speech on why marlene is the greatest person she has ever met and is so lucky to have her as a friend. When marlene finds those ones she has to leave class to go cry in the bathroom.

- “You had a crush on me?” “Of course I did. Who wouldn’t?” except it goes both ways

- Imagine, head girl lily Evans who gets the highest grades in her year, has like 4 extra curricular activities and has never gotten a detention in her life, is dating stoner girl marlene McKinnon who literally only gives a fuck about 2 of her classes + quidditch and instead of doing her homework she spends all her time delving into whatever hyper fixation that has her in a death grip atm

- Love each other to bits but would rather die than be in a group project together

- Lily is the person who helps dye the back of Marlenes hair if she cant do it herself

- Act like an old married couple even though they insist they aren’t even dating

- Marlene has adhd and struggles with executive dysfunction and so she usually does her assignments in a caffeine fuelled haze at 2am the day before its due when she finally gets the adrenaline kick she needs to start, but she always gets the assignment submitted (maybe a few minutes late but still). And this generally stresses lily even without the added fear of relying on this “method” for her own grade. Which makes her pester marlene and that annoys marlene (and makes her feel really guilty).

- Marlene will rush outside without shoes if she sees it snowing and lilies behind her yelling to remember her coat

- And then lily takes care of marlene when she inevitably gets sick

- Those friends who REALLY blur the lines of platonicness

- Totally make out when theyre drunk and they both have been in love with each other at some point

- When lily is ready to burst into a pile of stress because of the high expectations she puts on herself to get a good grade, marlene is always there to distract her by whisking her away. Whether its just to the kitchens to bake something delicious or to sneak out to hogsmeade for the whole night to wonder the streets, it cheers lily up so much and makes her feel sane again

- They are both super protective of each other

- It took a really long time for them to open up to each other. They were both friends with Mary first which meant they were usually around each other but they never connected because lily hated the marauders in her younger years while marlene grew up with James and Peter so ofc she didnt like that some random girl was talking shit about her friends.

- In 3rd year Marlenes mother got remarried and she suddenly got a new stepsister and was really nervous about it (because she only has an older brother at that point) and asked lily for advice on having a sister. Obviously she soon decided she did not want a relationship like petunia and lilys but did bring marlene and lily closer.

- Lily and marlene have sensory issues and they can tell when the other is overstimulated so they do their best to make sure the other is in an environment that accommodates to their extreme discomfort (but sometimes they dont have control over their environment and it eats them up inside because they know how terrible the other is feeling and they cant help)

- Out of all of lilys friends, marlene was the loudest and most insistent that lily stops being friends with Snape. She knew the affect he had on lily way better than others because marlene was the one who found her sobbing her eyes out after Snape insulted her in front of his new friends for the gazillionth time. She was the one who always listened to her explain whatever bullshit he pulled and hugged lily for hours while she mourned what her friendship with Snape had become. And THEN marlene had to listen to lily justify why she was still friends with him just because he apologised and claims he’s going to do better. She is the one who saw the full extent of snapes impact on lily’s mental and emotional wellbeing and she was aware of how Snape manipulated lily into thinking how he was treating her was ok. She had absolutely no sympathy for him and always supported the marauders when they pranked him (even if they did go a bit too far) and occasionally joined in herself.

- They have matching friendship bracelets that they got in 4th year. Marlene was buried with it on her wrist.

[sassykinzonline]

"het sasuke" and this blog

honestly the thing that was most hurtful about that situation is not them threatening to kill me for betraying their favourite ship (i didnt), them admitting to harassing me and others for entertainment/because they were jealous i was talking to people other than them, or them thinking they can give me ultimatums on what to do

it was one throw away line that turned out to be a much bigger piece of the puzzle: "i asked someone else and they also are uncomfortable by you."

this person knew extensively of my anxiety how it affected me. i had discussed it with them privately and publicly. in an attempt to manipulate me, they went around not only to our group of friends but to others to lie about the situation, misrepresent me, and gain ammo to "convince me" to do what they want exclusively. mind you, this is a straight man whose blog is full of porn of anime girls and thinks gay people cant have children.

so now, coincidentally all of a sudden im seeing posts about "hating sasuke being mischaracterized as heterosexual" from blogs and freaking out because this person planted the idea in my head that people secretly hate my blog. i have been on the internet for a long time and have experienced a lot of things, one of them being how a small lie can turn into a harassment campaign. i also personally have experience with someone cyberstalking me to abuse me based on their interpretation of the content.

for my own peace of mind i'm just going to clarify a couple things:

the first instance of "heterosexuality" was a friend saying they got more notifs from me than someone they were romantically pursuing and they were nervous, i tried to make them feel better by saying logically that means we are dating instead. this person has 0 romantic interest in me, so i made the joke knowing theyd react in ire and it would be a fun back and forth to take their mind off the situation.

the second instance of "heterosexuality" is another friend who is not romantically interested in me (in fact theyre interested in itachi, so part of this started as me wanting to beat itachi) that had offered to be a surrogate and godmother to sasunaru children. thats it. thats the context behind jokes between us.

the third instance of "heterosexuality" was me making fun of people's (of all genders) interest in me. it wasnt a serious appeal.

now at the end of the day i justify these choices with these three ideas: "sasuke regularly uses teasing and banter to throw friends off kilter for amusement" "sasuke's only longterm interactions with women are women who disrespect and objectify him" "sasuke's priority is the people he cares about, and is more comfortable around such people". i dont think these ideas are mischaracterizations.

more than anything though, i recognize that as an autistic person with anxiety, this situation has successfully stressed me out to the point where im scared to interact with my blog at all. i cannot tell how serious these posts about hating/being angry about a "heterosexual sasuke" or a "sasuke who doesnt hate women" are. i dont know whether these are people who interact with me/that i interact with but secretly hate me. i cannot tell if people are genuinely angry with me, but i also cannot ask because it would draw attention to me that i dont want. but because this person intentionally put me into a triggered state over it, im starting to care about things i normally wouldnt. i recognize that on its face, being "accused of being too straight" is ridiculous. in order to not be a hypocrite, i personally block people before i criticize something theyve said or done.

so im going to take an indefinite break from posting/interacting until i can calm down from that state. thanks and sorry to those who supported me the past few days.

[abnomi]

i really appreciate bojack horseman for having characters that feel so human.

they feel real, people you could encounter just passing by on a sidewalk. theyre flawed but human with feelings and intentions and desires and opinions! i think its so interesting to see them clash together in their daily lives. they are all multidimensional and have more lingering under the surface than at first glance, and they keep peeling back as the show goes forward, whether the layers are ugly or beautiful. i love learning about them.

this show is So Real. you can point at any major scenario in the episodes and think "That could have happened to me or someone i know" while in the same breath, the most absurd shit imaginable happens in the background inside of this universe with such flawed logic (that is kind of just a caricature of real life). even the people are exaggerated, and the ways they react and speak is very blunt and straightforward. its interesting to see how they all adapt and live in this ridiculous world while still feeling like actual people, even with them speaking in exaggerated ways. i think that the writing in bojack horseman is genius, i dont know if ive seen anything like it anywhere else. the reality being maintained even through the exaggeration is amazing to me, and the fact that theres still enough space left to make serious scenes hit hard and make you KNOW something fucked up happened.

bojack himself being a mentally tormented individual is never used as an excuse for his actions and I really admire and respect that. you can empathize with him while still acknowledging that hes a fucked up person (Horse) . its such a wake up call, too. noticing how his behavior affects other people encourages the viewer to improve but still shows the underlying mental illness in a sensitive light. he isolates himself and punishes himself and it does nothing but make everything worse. the severity of the people in his life's reactions put him further in this pit of self-hatred and loathing when all he needs to do is change for the better. the world crumbles around him, and instead of changing or listening, he tries to make himself feel better and escape it. "fetishizing your own sadness" is a line that really struck me because i was severely depressed and i did that exact thing; i made myself feel horrible because i "deserved" it to compensate for the guilt i felt instead of doing anything productive to get out of the spiral. im not saying that any of this is easy, its so fucking hard. but bojack had resources on SO many occasions and NEVER accepted help. also, seeing Todd of all people reach a breaking point is a Lot. hes such a forgiving person who sees the good in everyone and he still has limits.

the philosophy and messages conveyed through the characters are so important to me. especially with Diane, shes such a complex character. i love her quote of there being no good or bad people, theres only people who do good things and people who do bad things. she is the realest.

so much thought was put into every crevice of this show, everything that was explored was understood by the writers and this was communicated incredibly well. i would say more but im kind of squeezing my mind juices and im low on them rn. I FUCKING LOVE BOJACK HORSEMAN !!!!!!!

[transgods]

91, 90, 67, 64, 61, 48, 38, 25, 23, 11, 10

10. any unusual fears?

i don't have that many fears at awl in general i think but i get so anxious i can't sleep if i have to share a bed w someone i don't like trust aha also i used to be deathly afraid of stingrays as a kid like to the point where vaguely stingray shaped things like. the pool cleaners used to scare me. like id swim in a pool and if i saw this thing

under me i would literally just exit the pool and refuse to get back in until it was removed. idk if im still scared of rays now tho

11. favorite myth?

collapses to my KNEES.... if no one got me the epic of gilgamesh got me. its The story. to me

23. what's popular with the people around you that you can't seem to get behind?

irl its kpop... all my friends r into kpop but i am just not rockin with any of the songs ive heard so far but im honestly ok with this. the ticket prices...... i will stay listening to my established range ty DGFGHJHJK and hmmmmmm i think online it'd be like. dnd or in an extension of that bg3 like im sorry but i just. maybe its not for me

25. do you collect anything?

YES the uhh nano/petit/mini bricks/blocks theyre basically mini legos and way cheaper than lego. ive gotten pretty much every aquatic animal from petit bricks theyre sitting on my shelf i love them :') extremely good activity to do when my hands get twitchy

38. what is your love language?

its definitely physical affection i am thee cuddly bitch of all time. second is words of affirmation tho. why are u asking me this u gay or smth?

48. you get to give a one-sentence note to yourself from a decade ago. what does it say?

kill yourself NOW! im kidding but idkkkkkkkk it might be surprise that i made it another decade or smth. not sure. past me is a bit of a mystery

61. do you believe in/follow any superstitions?

AWAAHHH off the top of my head im blanking bad but i dont eat bananas on lunar new years. or when theres like an exam. neither does the rest of my family. idk why

64. what's the best thing you can cook?

oh wow i love thematic continuation. its banana bread LMFAOO it might just be my favourite thing i can cook though

67. what's your favorite obscure piece of media?

HM i do not consider this obscure but ive literally never met someone else whos into this but the graphic novel/comic series called saga..... literally excellent idk

90. weirdest habit?

hmmmm i don't know whether this counts as a habit but i paint my nails just to pick off the polish otherwise i would probably ruin them altogether. hands need enrichment

91. what's a common misconception people have about you?

at this point i dont even know anymore i got too much stuff im juggling to work out exactly who is perceiving what.. i do think ppl think im smarter than i actually am tho eek

[old-stoneface]

okay. the thing that particularly strikes me, in guards guards, abt the comparison of ankh-morpork to lady sybil to The Dragon is that it is often cited as all being...positive? in a sense? ive seen it argued that sybil being so directly compared to those two items, alongside vimes being a direct parallel to errol in that book (and the entire watch being compared to draco vulgaris (total wittles, at first they were novel and now theyre just a burden, etc)), is a sign that it is all written to be a straightforward love story between sybil and vimes. i disagree. i will say that their relationship is foreshadowed Very Early On, like, from the moment that sybil is introduced, and its pretty clear through their interactions that theyre going to end up together, despite my frustrations lol. i just think that being the "damsel in distress" is an inherently bad thing for women in pratchett's stories, because it leads to dysfunction. anyway. my point here is that not only is it not a clear love story, and it is not written to be one, but the complications of their relationship and further marriage are also teased throughout the book, and it all starts with vimes being a complicated and dysfunctional character. the book opens with vimes rolling a medium success in shivers and giving us a little monologue about how the city welcomes you in, and the city is distinctly a woman, but once youre in her arms she'll kick you in the teeth and send you back into the gutter. there is never any indication of whether vimes has been in a relationship before being with sybil, but it is implied slightly - hoooweveeer i am not referring to when colon says that vimes was "brung low by a woman". i believe colon, having seen vimes very drunk many times, has heard him do his monologue about the city being a woman who treats you unfairly. in fact, we have confirmation of vimes talking about that, shortly after the bar fight scene with carrot in the mended drum. this monologue - where vimes outlines the relationship he has with the city, how he feels very proprietory of it and yet still despises it, is a clear indication of how vimes views heterosexual relationships. Any relationship he has with a woman will be defined by the negative aspects first and probably never the positive, because of Who Vimes Is As A Person and what his view of gender is. we have these scenes where sybil is obviously trying to tell vimes she has feelings for him, and vimes outright rejects her every time but the last, which is when he is feeling overwhelmed by the weight of her affection and he realizes that this may be his only chance to not die alone. vimes turns to this relationship as a last resort. even though sybil is extremely generous and supportive, vimes feels THREATENED by her advances, and not in the same exhilirating way that he gets when he is being attacked. btw there is a lot to be said about how vimes has an addiction to danger and how vetinari often leaves people believing they have just escaped with their lives, but thats another post. i have more thoughts on this, i think i have more ideas to develop here, this is just the beginning of my gay vimes thesis but this post is getting so long........

[shinji-hibiki]

passes microphone to u tell us ur shinji ships

Oh boy. oh bouyyyyyyyy.

Ok anyone super familiar with me knows that my #1 shinji romance is shinji/hakupo tsukishiro. i had seen both of them used separately in an ancient utau medley video. neither of their voicebanks were used very well. but i was obsessed with their designs. they were my favourites out of the bunch and contrasted so well w each other so i made them duet suki kirai . they don’t have super concrete personalities so it’s really fun to imagine them as a silly ‘opposite-type’ romance where they endearingly bother each other and act as each other’s grounding force. Even more fun if you consider a UTAUniversity or similar setting where shinji is a rowdy and delinquent band club member and hakupo is a carefree, slacker-type guy :*]

I’m surprised I’m not more into shinji/nitarou otodamaya because that’s definitely the most ‘canon’ character duo. It’s fun to imagine them as childhood friends who are really close and not afraid to be affectionate w each other… and since im a gay guy with a bad habit of crushing on friends i know that theres definitely some kind of deep-seated longing in one or both parties. Maybe they had something once but continued on as friends. Maybe they fooled around one night and never spoke of it again. Maybe nothing has happened yet but it inches closer. But I definitely enjoy their dynamic of ‘reckless guy being an enabler to his voice of reason’ lolol

A pair I’ve been considering a LOT recently is shinji/piggy!!!! Piggy’s VP (buuta) is in the vkeiloid circle and thus she counts as part of their entourage. to me. I’m really bad at distinguishing whether a character pairing is platonic or romantic and dont really care at this point. Shinji and piggy in my brain go on shopping trips and dinner dates and out to karaoke. it’s interesting 2 imagine them bonding with each other over living in the city and being part of subculture scenes. I imagine they have a really compatible dynamic where they can talk really easily to each other and are just really loose and comfortable being weird together.

Shinji/soho is another really funny one I consider being similar in nature to him and piggy. Soho to me is kind of a free agent where he’s noncommittal but affectionate towards anyone he’s friends with. Shinji is probably one of soho’s closest friends where he feels comfortable being totally real to him. they’ve seen everything and love each other dearly. But like at the same time soho is also in a fucked up love triangle with nitarou and kotaro because they’re all friends and in a band and theyre all kind of gay about it

^and of course on that tangent i am also dedicated to the idea that Yes Everyone In Shinji’s Band Is Kind Of In Love With Each Other. or at display a lot of affection and are just generally really close. I like to think that they all live in a cramped apartment together with a really big bed that they all cuddle together in. I have a lot of feelings about the individual relationships between band members but i need more time to think about that before i write it down lolol. but in the meantime here’s an awesome chart showing some of it. i bet i even forgot some of it but oh well

well i hope u enjoyed reading all of that :*] its a lot but im actually really glad someone prompted me to get all my thoughts out about shinji romance. love you

[kaeyx]

I honestly dont think people understand that Asmo is literally the only one from the transfer of Obey Me to Nightbringer that didnt treat MC differently from day 1. (disclaimer, i havent played nightbringer in MONTHS im still on like lesson 14 if that gives you ANY idea on how long its been since ive played) But like...........yes people notice it but i dont think people UNDERSTAND it. Asmodeus was THE ONLY ONE. Solomon is the exception but imagine you build a life with these people, you build relationships with these people, your like romantically involved with at least one of them, your best friends with at least one, youve shared secrets with them, you share a connection with them that NOBODY does, and then you get thrown into the past and ALL of that gets erased, all of the affection, all of the memories, your pacts, all of the time and effort you put into them is basically just.....gone. So imagine how it must feel to have Mammon back to being how he was at the start, or how it must feel to be shut out by Lucifer again (as a lucifer persuer it was so fucking hard to get through to him and to be thrown out and forced to worm my way back into his heart again- EXCUSE ME!? LIKE BITCH I EARNED MY PLACE IN HIS HEART HOW DARE YOU-!? THAT TOOK TIME-! ) Or how it must feel when Satan doesnt look at Mc the same anymore, or how it must feel when Simeon doesnt show the same amount of love he did before, and then being able to have that sense of........liek.....warmth when talking to Asmo because you know that....nothings really changed. Asmo is still YOUR Asmo. Asmo is the ONLY one, out of everyone, who treats Mc like nothing really changed the moment they met in NB. Its like......Solo and Asmo are not only a package deal, but theyre also a sense of familiarity and comfort in the chaos that is being thrown into the past and being told "you'll be happier here" (also i feel like i have a right to be extremely upset with whomever yeeted MC into the past because ITS MY CHOICE ON WHETHER OR NOT ILL BE HAPPY NOT URS WHY TF DO U GET TO DECIDE IF IM HAPPY OR NOT!? WHAT IF I /WANTED/ LUCI TO KILL ME?! HUH!? LIKE. BITHC. YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I FIND KINKY OR NAH STFU >:( its my life how dare you try to tell me whatll make me happy- tho im 100% okay with it if it means i can romance Dia and Barbs within the plot instead of just gathering intimicy points- like.....marry me pls dia i beg of u- pls for the love of the gods make me ur husband- on my hands and knees for u ANYWAYS-) I feel like thats something nobody really pays attention to and like.....understands and acknowledges about NB is that like....everyone else changed EXCEPT Asmo- SORRY IF THIS ISNT LIKE A THIRST OR ANYTHING LEO I JUST THIS HAS BEEN ON MY MIND FOR A WHILE AND I WANTED TO SHARE <3

It's a rlly good point! Asmo is generally very nice to MC even when they're a complete stranger, and it's a bit harder to tell when his affection becomes... deeper? More genuine? Idk how to say it, when he starts caring for them as a person instead of just "cute/interesting new person to play with", but he's still being nice even in that first stage. Beel also behaves like this imo, he's very sweet and opens up to MC pretty quickly (especially when compared to like. Lucifer or Satan)