#its normal to feel slighted by that
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people are acting like we’re saying creators shouldn’t be paid for their work; they absolutely should. and watcher already is. they have a patreon, they get sponsors, their videos regularly get millions of views which gives them ad revenue, they sell merch; they are getting paid. feeling indignant and disappointed that they’re asking us to pay for content we were already getting for free isn’t entitlement, it’s expected. they wanted to make bigger produced shows and now their budget can’t sustain it, that’s not on the viewer to make up for
#im not going to feel as sorry for the company as iam for an artist working out of their bedroom#they went too big and now expect us to make up for it#its normal to feel slighted by that#im not paying over a hundred dollars a year for a guy to eat food another to walk around a house and a puppet to tell a story#im just not#their shows are entertaining theres no doubt about that but can you really say its worth that fee when we are in a cost of living crisis#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#watcher#watcher tv#shane madej#ryan bergara#steven lim#hey there demons it’s me ya boy#ghoul boys
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do you actually dislike the bird abode or just the creature designs? not saying the name directly so your ass doesn't get blasted by the tag
I like a lot of the creatures in it; the showrunner is a really fantastic horror artist and it really comes through in the aesthetics of the show. I especially like this hand dragon, though there's a lot of other great designs:
As for the show on the whole, it's not bad but not really for me? Early on it really feels like it's schtick will be that it's a subversion of harry potter-esque stories, where the protagonist wants to go on an adventure similar to her favorite fantasy book but instead ends up hanging out with the "villain" (who's actually just othered)/the magic school turns out to be secretly oppressive/the world is kind of gross and spooky instead of clean and approachable... but as it goes along I think it ends up being a pretty by the books YA fantasy thing played mostly straight, and it isn't super interesting or funny or scary or anything besides that. Which admittedly was probably to its benefit, I think a lot of its popularity comes from it being this very tropeish and not-uncomfortable magic school/found family story that's actually queer, like I genuinely think this is hugely appealing to the average cartoon fan on twitter, but I'm just not personally into it in comparison to a lot of it's contemporaries
#ok very slight tangent#this is such a weird nothing complaint but you know i really don't like that line of critique you see a lot amongst animation fans#where they praise a show for Sticking It To Steven Universe by killing off a villain#and the owl house's climax feels almost like it plays into that intentionally with the little star boy who thinks he can hug the villain#which in the moment was kind of souring for me even if that wasn't the intention (though certainly twitter thought it was)#because I find steven universe was so comparatively subversive and bespoke to itself and complete in its metaphors#that it felt nearly eye rolling#because it was like it was sort of priding itself on being normal and tropey in contrast to this more unique and confronting show#(this isn't why I'm a bit lukewarm on the show. I just think it's a lukewarm show & I again don't mean that in a damning way)#(but everytime the owl house comes up I can't help but think of it)
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⚠️FLASH WARNING? its just glitchy stuff but i feel like i should put this to be safe!
" Aww, what's the matter? "
" You look like you had something pop up on your mind. "
separate image vers
#ava#animator vs animation#ava victim#ava tco#alan becker#also ava2 tco design i thought up just now. yeaaaaaahh its just some slight changes to his normal one#itsnot the greatest but you get what youget#damn i have had this thought for weeeeeeeeeeeks#it feels like it worked better in my head but whatev lol#also get it because pop up also refers to tco being a pop up blocker before get it get it get it do you#i only added the dialogue just to reference pop up blocker tco im sorry#the glitch effects onthe two “panels” arent consistent im sorry#what do i meanby consistent? man idk#i should stop adding tags now#lilacsart
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still surprised that the people behind world of warcraft actually really released a race where the women can have beards, and not even just small or subtle beards, but ones just as big and grand as the men have. i dont really ever expect much from blizzard when it comes to anything progressive really, so its always a surprise if they do have anything like this.
and when ive mentioned it before, people have told me that women dwarves (the earthen arent even actually dwarves(?), they just look A LOT like them for whatever reason) usually have beards?? but ive never seen that before this whole thing, and even then, this is blizzard were talking about. its actually just a shock they did something like this at all.
i try not to publically praise them too much for a few reasons, but i just have to say that i like it, and yes i gave my earthen woman a grand beard.
#my post#world of warcraft#like. if i look up 'woman dwarf' on google images i get like. *some* that have beards but its very few#i have a feeling id see a lot more if i specified them having beards LOL#im not doubting that its been a thing for a long time#but i think saying that its a super normal common thing that people do is a slight overstatement#and if anything i think more people probably wouldnt do it because they cant concieve of a woman having a beard#and it being like... just a serious normal thing that exists#which is a shame because like. bro!! thats one more thing to customize on your character what!!!!#if anything i dont ever draw beards because im just not good at it. but im not good at it because i dont draw beards :pensive:#also if youre wondering why i hesitate to publically praise blizzard. obv there was that whole thing a few years ago that was super fucked#but also even just in world of warcraft itself there is... undoubtably a few questionable things... mainly the goblins#but its no secret how i feel about the goblins in wow#and obviously theres a few other things as well#like clearly i really like the game so i definitely have things in it that i could praise#but it just feels weird to publically praise it cause it feels like im somehow ignoring the bad things even though i really. really am not#earthen wow
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having arfid is like if someone diagnosed you with "hates poop disorder" then told you that you either have to start eating bowls of horse diarrhea with human nail clippings in it or you die. that would fucking suck now wouldn't it
#personal#arfid#avoidant restrictive food intake disorder#i have found the ''you live in a world in which all food is literal shit and ppl keep tryin to convince you its actually really good#and acting like youre the unreasonable one for hating it'' metaphor to be quite effective in explaining how my life feels to other ppl#its so annoying when ppl act like im stupid for not jumping at the bit to torture myself for some vague dream#of recovery or whatever#i have ways to cope! i have foods i can eat and other things i can do to keep myself alive!! there is no point torturing myself#trying to be more 'normal' 😒#idc how much u condescendingly tell me how a balanced diet is good for me#i dont want to eat the horse diarrhea. i dont care what vitamins it will give me. i am surviving without it#i do not see any benefit to torturing myself for years just to gain slight resistance to it#let me beeee
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"why do you want to dye ur hair" "why do you want that piercing" "why would you want a tattoo" I WANT TO BE ALIVE!!!!!!! I WANT TO LIVE!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO FEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#genuinely so maddening coming from a family where any time u show even slight interest in doing smth its questioned#'hm i think i might start wearing blue more' 'but whyyyy u dont normally' PLEASEEEEEEE i need to do. anything. i need to feel something#im fuckinggg wasting away dying my life has been nothing so far. i need to do fun stupid things for no reason sometimes#i can go out bc i feel like it. i can buy this bc i want it. i can do this bc id like to. its no deeper than that#am i insnae. is this crazy#i cant be stagnant. its killing me. i cant wait around all of my life#i already did that w my transition and now im on an 8 yr waiting list -_-#i cant have my whole life be looking back wishing id done stuff sooner#good fucking job tho uve talked me out of doing anything ever. so well done
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Never trying alcohol again...
#tried it last night while out to eat with my sister and my husband for my sis' birthday#what happened:#hot and sweaty#and head + neck ache#and some weakness and slight lightheadedness#so the one time im able to down alcohol without feeling bad its just NOTHING BUT SIDE EFFECTS#AND IT WASNT EVEN THAT HARD A DRINK#is this normal for someone that doesnt usually drink it to finally try it at the dear young age of 27?#just talking
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Dissociation is so protective. I do love it at times. Whatever seemed to be bothering me in the month of October or hell, even 3 days ago? It all seems like a foot note now.... drugs help speed up the mind-scrubbing process too.
#thinking about that dynamic i had with that online penpal btw that i cut off 2 days ago but feels like 2 months ago#he would treat me like a clinical mena health study object#he would ask about my alters and theorize about what archetype they are which was very. weird looking back#i cant lie that I did learn a lot from that short... online friendship.#learned that the amount of times i split isnt normal for example#or the “architect” archetype which rhere is not much literature on... i suppose its rare#he was horrifically abusive to someone and that person was brave enough to warn me.....#i feel like she saved me#bc if someone ever treated me that way again.. the things he said to her... id honestly break down....#it was very abusive. words cant describe. its so evil words can't even explain#if you use someones childhood trauma to purposefully dysregulate them... you are evil. full stop#im grateful she warned me... shes cutting him off too. i hope she will be okay#bruh. discord drama just came to a whole other level. what a weird month October was. im glad its over.#November is a month of cleansing. i guess#ive been burning my palo Santo incense regularly and bring my selenite crystal w me a lot#they clear negative energy and lots of negative energy has been released away this month#hard to not get whimsical and think my slight interest in.. pagan practices may have contributed#the logical side of me says no. you just got lucky. the crystal and incense has nothing to do w ur life clearing up recently#but let me stay whimsical...
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Feeling a debilitating sense of dread and despair 🤨 Which probably means nothing😍👍
#girl help i cant get out of bed i feel so so awful for no reason at all#literally my soul is gone or something#i have no desires and no joys and no sense of being blessed#which is crazy bc i love life and im so blessed ! usually.#ig i should do something abt it tomorrow if it doesn't get better#alternatively get back into therapy bc tbh... after that horrible sex thing ive felt kinda off#like even after i was able to eat and sleep and function normally without the tremors and head jerks and whatnot#like its not dramatic anymore but i kinda feel drained of life and joy#moments of genuine happiness and fulfillment are ... ? idk. i did feel happy once this week and that was nice but it didnt last obviously#but like ! im not depressed in a depressed way. i take good care of myself and i read my books and eat food and hang out with friends#i just kinda dont recognise myself ig. i mean i know ill get my spark back but maybe i need some professional help#idk !! it kinda feels very silly tho#like ive been in and out of therapy for more than half of my life. and being one year therapy free was a big step for me !#so going back for this little ridiculous freakout feels like a setback#kinda like im making up things to be wrong with me just so that ill have someone to talk to ? or to have attention idk#it doesn't make sense bc i really was proud for getting bettter and i rly dont want to be in therapy anymore#but who knows 🤷♀️#there is also this slight risk. just clinically speaking by purely looking at symptoms of certain things. with no stake in the matter! lol#that there might be something bad and [lets not think too hard about it] that lies as a root cause of my little mental breakdown#like according to my sex having friends losing your virginity is awful but not THAT awful and not in THAT way#and my friend kinda said i scared her with how i was acting when i talked to her abt it. like my demeanour and body language and whatever#and i do trust her to know whats normal versus concerning when i dont have my own stable grip of reality#plus. if i was an outside party and applied my psych education on myself. i would say its not looking super good#but i cant really do that bc im not some random patient. im me myself and I 😩✋️ thank you#but whatever. itll be fine. tomorrow will be a better day ! yay !
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love crooked teeth in general i love my crooked teeth too like my two front teeth stick out forward and poke out between my lips at all times and i just i think its really cute and awesome and
#⚠️#personal#lol. feeling good about myself today i washed my hair so its got this slight wave in it and it looks really cool#i hope people with crooked or yellow or both teeth know i will love them forever and your teeth are great and awesome and perfectly normal#fuck im tired lol
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#my digestive issues are literally under the most control they have ever been in my life and they are still ruining my life#woke up fine today. went to a coffee shop. had to leave after an hour#i had so many plans for today and now i'm stuck at home because i can't be too far away from a bathroom#i didn't eat anything that would trigger this. my gut just hates me i guess#earlier this month i have a risk food but i thought i took enough precautions to be safe and it fucked me up for like#2 weeks straight#i wonder what its like for people to not have to wonder about bathroom access every time they leave the house#i wonder what its like to eat normal foods without calculating how sick its going to make you#i wonder what its like to not have entire plans tossed out the window for reasons beyond your control#fucking sucks man#i hate ibs#in exchange for my terrible gut i do have a fantastic immune system somehow but weirdly that means i never take time off work?#ok so i am so good at just managing my issues that i just power through whenever im sick.#it's not like i can afford to take time off whenever i feel sick anyway and besides once you have to take multiple AP tests in high school#while in the middle of an episode you grow a lot of tolerance for being functional while sick#but then. i just i could have excuses to take days off because i have a cold or something. get a rest every now and then#but what illnesses i get beyond digestion issues are so slight that i can just. power through. i am never ill enough to take time off#and i get so worried that one day I will need that PTO that I can't convince myself to use it for like mental health days and ugh#this is more of a personal problem than anything but still. i wish i got sick like a normal person
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im going to have to restart this episode because i got too invested in sweeping instead of paying attention. but what did make it through was that all the dialogue about amy being pregnant is. weird.
#maybe its just because i finished torchwood and that ends with gwen pregnant and like. they were normal about it there.#and did not feel the need to point out how huge she was. every minute.#dw lb#dw 5x07#you dont watch out and sweeping will get you man.#youll get so invested in cleaning up that dust#……. (slight horror) my god ive been domesticated.
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I feel it, I feel my brain back to normal finally sgdjshs
#well… almost. more like normal enough that it feels like taking my meds will do something#the last two days were such empty headed days man omfg#i’m just very glad that the fever and flu-like part didnt last a week like it usually does when i get sick#now its just post-nasal drip and a runny nose >.< and i guess a slight fever still#but i can hold things again and my joints dont feel like theyre going to fall apart
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man it would be cool to have a long-term creating capability wouldn't it. wouldn't it.
#slight vent/rant below idk youve been warned#unsure of where i'm going with this because i know that im standing at the border of a deep hole#this hole being an issue i keep struggling wiht but i'm trying not to fall into this hole today at 1:30am as ill try to sleep soon#but man ough. does it feel like i should be working on something.#i always had that but i guess the fact that my partner is succeeding so fast strengthens that?#i know i shouldn't be and its something i'm fighting against with an okay success comparing to how it was in the past but i will admit i am#kind of jealous. i mean who wouldnt be?? its a normal emotion to have and yet it feels so bad. at least im managing it better now#i have to keep reminding myself that he's rushing at a pace way faster than normal. and just bcs i'm more in a normal pace of things doesnt#mean im falling behind#ehhhh
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i'm reading the stolen throne and definitely overthinking the whole "elves have reflective eyes" thing
i looked into it, and generally, animals with reflective eyes can see better in the dark and are often nocturnal. irl there's four classifications: one seen in certain fish, marsupials, fruit bats, and crocodiles. one seen in another type of fish. one seen in cows, sheep, goats, and horses. and one seen in carnivores, rodents, and cetacea.
in the stolen throne and loghain's pov, elf eyes are described as glinting like cat eyes, so i assume elves fall into the last category, with carnivores and rodents.
i don't know enough about this stuff, but idk something about it makes me uncomfy. i can't fully figure out why? something about animalising elves? does it matter? it's almost certainly not that deep. idk, something about it squicks me out.
#maybe cause in dao theres functionally no difference physically between elves and humans apart from a slight size diff and the ears#so any new info feels like... further othering?#but i dont know why that matters even cause they ARE different#maybe because of the amount of elven prejudice?#but again its... a game#aster be normal challenge?#op#dragon age#dast
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I am my mother's daughter (son)
Yes ofc I feel sadness as anger until I feel safe to feel sadness as itself
#me and my mum like 🤝#imagine being able to feel ur emotions normally#couldn't be me#or my mum#with all the love and care in the world#slight vent#but also not really#its mostly meant to be funny#mental illness
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