#its nice practice i suppose!
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"It has to be true. I'm counting on you."
#i hate doing background im BAD AT THEM!!! BUT I DID IT ANYWAY#its nice practice i suppose!#me: what am i doing what am i doing what am i do#flower'sart#hero 108#commander apetrully#hero 108 commander apetrully#hero: 108#tales of the monkey king#totmk#comic
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shhhh
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#itafushi#fushiita#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#tortured megumi fr three and a half draws in a row so now he can nap with his bf as a reward#thanks fr always being such a good sport megumi gomennnnnn#it's always a bit jarring going back 2 simple fluffy pieces after weeks of the heavier stuff#bc on one hand it's nice 2 just draw sth cute. but on the other hand i am like what am i supposed 2 Yap abt now!!!#wym they r just cuddling wym there is no Lore#the only thing abt this piece tht digs a bit deeper is th fact tht - unbeknownst 2 me while i ws sketching -#the pose ended up w them in the shape of an anatomically correct heart#patting my subconscious on th back fr that one . itfs heart imagery my beloved#also yuuji Koala itadori the absolute psychopath 100% th type 2 sleep in a hoodie without overheating . poor megumi smh#not only does he have 80kg of Boy practically On him but all th added heavy fabric on top of that#he may look peaceful here but best bet this boy is not getting a full 8 hours#maybe in its own way this too is a hina tortures megumi draws#i think he'll forgive me tho smile. he'll forgive yuuji too
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my mains in ranked matches C:
#dont tag as ship#idv fanart!!! thats crazy!!! i should do more!!!#identity v#idv#naib subedar#victor grantz#luca balsa#idv mercenary#idv postman#idv prisoner#identity v mercenary#identity v prisoner#identity v postman#is this how u fandom tag. whao#~ art#naib subedar.fam#luca balsa.crsh#victor grantz.plat#i have a hybrid playstyle: first and foremost is being a rescuer main and the secondary depends but it could be anything#naib is my first choice all the time. i would focus on rescuing and bodyblocking as much as i can. so rescue/rescue#but i can also go rescue/support- and thats where victor is. his dog wick helps a lot with rescue believe me or not. many clutch moments#and there's rescue/decoding- but ... i think its more like decoding/rescuing. i always decode as luca because hes very fast at it.#but in emergencies i bring tide turner if rescuing presents itself nicely for luca. maybe all the other rescuer types are out of commission#-so i try to help a bit.#“jil what about knee jerk reflex or flywheel effect”#I ALWAYS FORGET TO USE THE FLYWHEEL EFFECT IM NOT USED TO ITSDJFHSJFHSJHDJS I WOULD ONLY NOTICE THE BUTTON AFTER I GET CHAIRED FGNGNFGF#knee jerk uhh... idk... doesnt really suit me LOL buuut i suppose i can try practicing it with it more. but... tide turner :pleading:#im not removing borrowed time either sooo :pleading: :pleading: HAHAH#buuut ya!!#theyre a funny trio :) luca and his antisocial friends /jj
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Christelle doodle🤧
#twsb#when the third wheel strikes back#christelle de sarnez#섭남���업#서브 남주가 파업하면 생기는 일#my art#this was supposed to be just a quick doodle to practice drawing her hair bc its so hard for me#and the lines of the body are messy + the pose is stiff#but i ended up spending too long coloring it KDJSJ colors turned out p nice tho#and her face is cute so im happy#fun to go full 90s shoujo w twsb fanart... :)#drawn on phone as always... i dont say this nowadays but fun fact i do dnfbdm#oh yeah i didnt use artshield on this *sweats* BC IT RUINED THE COLORS#so i just took screencaps... thats not enough to prevent scraping but at least its low res...
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think you're funny, sparrow?
@sothissophist 's oc miette + ais :D !! thank u for letting me draw them ^____^
#🖍️nia.draws#nia + touchstarved#touchstarved#i thought the lineart looked nice so u guys get that too!! :3#ais lineart... why my dumbass gotta colour 😕 look how handsome...#evidently unfinished. LOL THE JEWELRY but i was supposed to post this like an hour ago so i decided to stop BFEJHFJB#keep telling myself Dont go overboard nia its Practice nia then BOOM.... why am i shading his boobs. girl#i think if i have time i'll go back and finish because this was actually quite fun!! but. am sleepy. wahhh....#hed have so many lipstick stains if i got my hands on him... come here beautifyl...#??? the blue is so much. bluer. on my phone. fawkkk offf FAWKKK
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#metagross#bonus angle under the cut because i didn't even know this thing had a mouth#TPC knew when they named this thing… they even put “meta” in its name…#i always used to pronounce this “meta–grahhss.” but i've also been told multiple times that it's “meta-grohhss.” don't like that#like the word “gross.” they're not gross..! they're strong competitively or whatever..! yeah this is never a pokémon i cared about#some folks only care about pokémon for their competitive viability but that just is not a factor for me when determining pokémon i like#i do like how the X on their face goes over their eyes to make them look angry from practically every angle. i think that's a nice touch#and steel/psychic is rather cool. but i still don't know what this thing is supposed to be. though again i guess there's something to be#said for a pokémon that isn't necessarily Based off anything and is just its own creature. i think there's gotta be at least a few of those#out there‚ innit? i thought the trapinch line was but. lo and behold i guess. maybe they're all based off something and i'm just wrong
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for the ask game: LILAC CHARCOAL AND RASPBERRY
anon this is so sweet 😭
[ask game provided below for reference; if you'd like to play, please reblog from OP here:]
#anon i love this but i have a covenant with God so i can't kill Him with you#this reminds me of the time my brother lamented his atheism and my agnosticism on behalf of our religious mother. but i'm not agnostic.#so i clarified i believe in God and that's never changed. i just choose not to worship Him + I think there are multiple truths (incl. gods)#which is shorthand but I've never been able to explain it to others to their satisfaction and it isn't anyone else's business anyway#he thought that was MUCH worse and became so dramatic. he was genuinely so thrown. he fixated on the fact it's heresy.#which I didn't expect because like yes it's heresy but heresy is a doctrinal concept -- it doesn't have any intrinsic meaning.#and not to be dismissive but doctrine is fairly sequestered from God. It's functionally and historically a voidable social contract.#i was involved with the church/attended various bible retreats for several years before leaving. but I didn't leave over God lmao.#my institutional involvement was always contingent on its alignment with my own individual purpose/practice/rituals/bible study/covenant.#which church/community leadership knew and tried to triage in various ways but like. it's not hard to reject authority baselessly derived.#so my present relationship with God isn't any more heretical than it was when I practiced Christianity as a religion.#If anything I was maybe more heretical in funnier and more flagrant ways when I was practicing than I am now.#but anyway. my point is.#i wont help you kill god but I'm always here for heresy.#alternatively i also recommend either (1) listening to god is dead (meet the kids) by british india#which when engaged with meaningfully amounts to the same philosophical state of being as killing God#or (2) forming a reverse orphic mystery cult relationship with Him the way I did when from ages 10-14#in other words#we can either sacrifice God to the secular age like thomas jefferson and nietzsche#or we can obsessively study the bible @ the cost of enough sleep that we (in brief spurts) access the parts of us inclined towards prophecy#those are the only two approaches to god that I'm capable of partaking in with any sincerity or intellectual honesty#and I'm unfortunately very married to sincerity and intellectual honesty.#(i'm sorry for meeting your very nice compliments with a nonsequitur illustrating why i should live as a hermit in a remote woodland shack)#(but I suppose I'm not sorry enough to remove the nonsequitur from my response prior to publication. so. take from that what you will.)
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i think a thing im v passionate abt is music. or rather, listening to music. i listen to it when i work, when i drive, when i clean, when i walk. i spend several hours every day listening to music. once during a trip i didn't have the time to listen to music for several days and when i finally turned on some music it felt like the world was suddenly filled w more color and life. i once was so overwhelmed w awe and beauty listening to a song for the first time that it caused me to have a panic attack. in, like, a good way, like, wow, look at that song, it touched me so deeply that i lost control of my body for a moment. i sometimes get teary eyes or goosebumps when listening to music. i listen to the same song for hours on repeat. i don't know anything abt making music btw. i took guitar lessons for some time but im not talented or good at it and it took too much effort to continue. i love the sounds a guitar makes though. i also don't remember any music theory. i have a friend who's naturally talented at playing the guitar but they didn't enjoy it but even after years of not having picked up a guitar they can still play songs at birthday parties. i think it's funny that they are naturally good at it but they hate doing it and i love it but im not good at it at all.
#not fandom related#music#the song that caused me to have a panic attack is 'you don't know' by pieridian pool btw#anyway idk why i just made that post i was just cleaning up after dinner and listening to music and thought abt#how much i love music but how little im involved w it#maybe one day ill pick up the guitar again. its too much effort rn and i dont have the energy or time to commit myself to it#i think if i didn't have a phone or access to the internet i would just teach myself how to play the guitar#and my only hobbies would be playing the guitar and listening to music#on a different note im officially 5 months on T and ive passed to strangers 2 times so far 🥳#yesterday we got locker keys for a practical and were assigned either a key to the men's or women's locker room#and the person assigning the keys gave me one for the men's room. just basedon my looks#i don't remember if i said anything or if i just stepped up to them. i made a recording of my morning voice a few days ago#and it sounds like that typical trans guy voice early in transitioning.l#im still surprised that i pass bc i dress the same as i have been for many years. im letting my hair grow out. i got some beard hairs on my#face but they're rly sparse and i trim them every day and you can rly only see them in bright light or when standing close#so it's like. i must have changed in some way due to T that im not aware of and it's nice to pass. like a weight off my chest. or rather#im experiencing life the way it's supposed to be c:
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oughhhhhhhhhhhh........ 89 F days in early May..........
#like 77F inside my ROOM right now whilst I try to get ready for bed and such.. DESPITE putting like layers of cover#over the windows and blocking the sun out for nearly the entire day.................................... evil#which I know is not bad compared to some places I guess but just...grrr....#Wild that one of my primary life goals and unreachable dreams is just ''live in a place with good air conditioning'' lol#No 'dinky little ac you have to tediously install in the window' that will be loud and annoying and keep you awake#and you can hear everyhting outside all the time and etc. etc. no.... the entire house... on one big air conditioning system....#imagine.............#Some news station posted a status like 'yaay summer weather! hope everyone has fun at the parks this weekend!''#... posts written by people who must live in some alternate reality or something ghjbhj...#One persons ''hellish doom pit of misery'' is another persons ''fun tee hee outdoor activity weekend~'' I suppose#I mean its also that my health problems just make me overly heat sensitive so there is SOME practical reason behind my preferences#also.. but even before I had as many physical issues. I just always loved that type of weather so much more and generally didn't like heat#MY version of ''OOh nice weather to go outside in!!!'' would be like.. 40F and partly cloudy. or gray skies misty and 60F or so. lol#... misty with gray skies my dearly beloved.... fog...... hail.... precipitation in general.... my closest ally and companion#... now I am daydreaming about them (cold weather conditions)...
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Wanna put your friend in a lil terrarium just to see what wacky things she does stg 😂
i actually Cannot Stress the migraine she gives me every time we hang out. like without fail she'll always say or do something that ranges from mildly questionable or irritating but relatively Whatever to How Have You Survived This Long Without Burning Your House Down Boiling An Egg
#snap chats#and then there's her just forgetting things or being late despite the amount of times ill remind her#and i keep stressing to her i cannot stand it when people are late. and then she shows up to things an hour late anyway#or 'when shes late' by fifteen minutes because she didnt think to text me she's there. and im already stressed and annoyed I. UGH i swear.#LIKE. i have only really had two irl friends and both of them i lowkey had to parent in some way#at least my childhood bestie she's like. she's grown a lot and even if i havent spoken to her in a while im real proud of her right#THIS MOTHERFUCKER THO. OUUUUUGGGH.... youre not supposed to say anythin if you dont got nothin nice to say#which is contradictory to the main body text but point is let me Not be any more mean than how ive been already LMAO#even funnier about her looking at that comic is that LITERALLY masumi says he's talking to jo ☠️☠️☠️☠️#did i already say i have to remind her who jo is every three seconds#like the entirety of chap 2 when ichi's out of jail she was all 'why doesnt he just say who ACTUALLY killed the guy'#and then when we finally run into the fuckass who 'actually killed the guy' she's just 'wait who's that'#then i tell her and shes like 'oh my god he's so old now' IT'S BEEN 18 YEARS DUMBASS#ngl did wanna make a comic based off that LMAO BUT POINT IS she tests my patience every day and i think its good practice#if im going to work with people in the future like ohh.. my god....#she told me once she's never been on a date and its like. yeah i wonder why you can't even be assed to show up on time to hangouts ☠️#like ive never had friends so maybe im just insane.. im not insane for wanting people to be on time tho....#OK IM BEING TOO MEAN LET ME CAP IT THERE
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My therapists keep telling me to stop othering myself and I'm trying but it's really fuckin hard when I'm being othered
#i get im spending a lot of time with fellow audhd and on the spectrum queers i do and i get that means compassion and empathy#is potentially going to be lacking in some ways because they are learned behaviors that do not come naturally or at all#but for all the effort i put in to getting over the sense of being 'othered' and 'the outsider' some of them do a damn good job#just nerfing the work ive done with a lot of carelessness#if you're doing a group pool of money for a gift and i offer you cash dont single me out!! as the only one!! who doesn't need to pay!!#because its cash not venmo. like regardless of the implications of it its fuckin humiliating to be singled out in a GROUP CHAT#no matter how nice you try to make it if you're ultimately saying you dont want my money#dont cut me off and cut me out at practice because you're insecure and dont want to take advice from someone who isnt a coach#don't cut me out because im one of the only people who likes and exhibits masculinity in a way you dislike.#like. how am i supposed to feel? other than humiliated and exhausted and pissed off when someone else's bullshit#is constantly overrunning everything else and everyone else#tbd im sick and i need to do my tshot and i dont want to go to practice today . this teammate sends off kill bill sirens i stg
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also basically all of those screenshots are tavon being mean b/c i think its way funnier when he's mean. i dont screenshot when he says nice things
#shitpost#i mean. i do. i have over 1000 screenshots from today#but like. i dont usually POST those#thats for my brainworms writing process#he was nice to petra and to sa'har this patch. and rass i suppose but he DID say something pretty mean to rass so i think it balances out#well. not to rass like exactly but tavon did say like one shitty thing about mandalorians lmao.#because he was like. uhhh you guys better fix that shit. and rass was like I KNOW WE'RE WORKING ON IT OK#etc etc its fine. but it was a little mean#anyways also#he said something almost out of character to petra because he was like#im not qualified in this but i AM the leader of a force enclave so i feel like i should tell this nascent force user that uh#leaning on her anger probably isn't a good move. and. in a practical sense. will probably get her killed#but ALSO i know for force users there are some Not So Good Vibes Here#so like. im obsessed w/ that too#and tbh tavon has been wanting to actually talk to sa'har since like. manaan.#since manaan he became like. he basically has no intention to fight her unless she makes it happen#which is VERY STRANGE for him#but he picked up on the Something Is Going On vibes and he's like. hmmm#usually he is far more like. harder to disarm vs a foe#but he can tell sa'har is presenting herself as a foe and... isnt one really#which is quite fun for me because that's not something tavon does often#something i expect more from my other characters
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me having entire conversations in the tags of posts w ppl by going "#prev ..." has the same vibe as me passing notes back and forth to someone in class that the entire class reads before the notes get there
edit: ...alternatively having convos w someone by like. writing a message on the blackboard or sidewalk and then checking later and someone else has added to it while i was away...
#i feel bad for everyone who has to see random ooc snippets of my convos on the tl#like its all on the dashboard im sorry KFHDJD#yet i cant stop doing it KFJSKDB#somehow using websites in ways that is not the intended usage is fun#(its also a great way to have an excuse to bump my art + i get to thank ppl for nice tags on my art...)#it also feels less pressure/intrusive/intimate than dms MFBDN like im out here having tag convos w complete strangers#and theres like no pressure to reply bc like. this isnt how ur supposed to use tags in the first place!#but if ppl do 'prev' u back its fun... passing notes in class...#sidenote this is smth that i only started doing recently like.. this yr? like i noticed other ppl doing it#and also decided to try#so its fun to have picked up on a new tumblr practice even tho i joined yrs ago#if u leave nice tags on my art regularly theres a good chance i have/will 'prev' u at some point KFJBF#reading ppls tags always makes me smile so its fun to have a way to like. be able to thank them now#o sidenote2 feel free to send me asks guys... i like asks... they also feel less pressuring than dms🤧
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being out of the closet as a lesbian but not as masc sure is. a cool experience to have. around family.
#i finally found a dress to wear to a wedding this weekend that i dont hate#fingers crossed it arrives on time. its supposed to get here a day or two before the wedding so#picked out bc its very modest and all black. no cleavage allowed lmao absolutely not#like sure ill look attractive in a nice dress with a full face of make up on (I have to practice makeup again its been like three years)#but at what cost (my dignity and comfort)#this is going to be extra funny bc even when i wore make up it was just like. grungey alt emo kid shit skfjhkfjhskjf idk how to do#classy high femme at ALL lmaoooo#anyways im going to make the best of it but. oh to be able to wear masculine clothing without judgment <3#my post#eta: for the record if i do end up looking hot. im going to share photos anyways lmao vanity wins fskjhfksjhfksjh#if i cant be my masc self around my family. at least ill pretend to be a hot femme :)
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gosh dangit mother fuckers
#i havent been home in almost 3 weeks and i have traveresed the entire west coast practically as well as the majority of the pacific ocean#i was supposed to be on a plane home today but they canceled my flight bc the atmospheric river coming in which tight#except i was staying on a very leaky boat the last few nights waiting for my flight and now#i am in a room to weather the storm thanks to my extremely amazing beau#but i forgot things#very necessary things#for being stuck in a motel room for two days w nowhere to go#back on the boat#which is 20min away#its not storming yet i can go i can so do it yknow but also??#i soent two nights on a storming boat and i am SO TIRED#the fact that i forgot my ear buds and my kindle which were the promise to get me thru this imprisonment of stasis idk m8#idk yknow#my brain is so slow#when its sleepy#and now i have to go when i just got into this nice bed that is so soft and warm and not even a little damp from the ceiling
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I want to draw and improve my art so so bad but lately I’ve been a) nearing the end of my spring term classes and b) diagnosed with “only ever wants to read or play bideo game” syndrome
#help. i started an I Am a Cat doodle recently#it was supposed to be a rough sketch but i put so much effort into little things. and then i dropped it bc it’s going through#its ugly phase lol#also should mention my current class r film and oceanography related so. no practice there. but my story writing is benefitting from all#these analytical film papers i have to write so that’s nice at least. my writing in general has improved too
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