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importantpuppystarfish · 5 months ago

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Repopulating the whole world with Wonyoung

Male reader x Jang Wonyoung

Plot : You are from a random country "X". World War 3 is ongoing. Genre : Survival, Romantic, Emotional. Includes: 69, rimjob, facesitting, wony pissing, breeding, lots of kissing.

I drag myself onto the rocky shore, my body aching from the endless swimming. My clothes are soaked, my breaths ragged, and my arms feel like they could fall off any second. But I made it.

The world is in ruins. World War III tore everything apart. Cities burned, people scattered, and survival became a desperate gamble. I don’t know how long I was in the water, moving from boat to boat, trying to stay afloat. But somehow, I reached this island near the Korean Peninsula.

I push myself up, coughing out of the salt water, and scan out my surroundings. The island is covered in dense trees, the sand untouched, the wind eerily silent. No signs of life.

Except for one.

A girl stands near the water’s edge, her long, damp hair flowing in the wind. She’s wearing a torn white dress, clinging to her body from the seawater. Even in this chaos, she looks unreallike -- gorgeous.

I blink. My brain struggles to process what I’m seeing.

It’s Jang Wonyoung!

The Wonyoung. The famous K-pop idol. The girl that once stood on dazzling stages, worshipped by millions. And now, she’s here, stranded just like me. Wonyoung also came to the same island through swimming to save herself from the war.

She notices me. Her eyes widen, and she steps back slightly, uncertain. I must look like a wreck, an exhausted or an average looking guy.

I raise my hands slightly, trying to show I’m not a threat. “Hey… I’m not here to hurt you.” My voice is hoarse.

She hesitates, then speaks, her voice soft yet sharp. “Are you alone?”

I nod. “Yeah… just me.”

A pause. The wind howls between us. Then she exhales and sits down on the sand. “Same.”

I look around again. No ships, no planes, no humans. Just us.

Two strangers. A famous lost idol and me.

Alone in the middle of nowhere. Wonyoung asks for my name~ "I'm Y/N!" Nice to meet u! We have a handshake.. Her hands feel soft.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pt1:

I take a cautious step closer. “How long have you been here?”

“I don’t know. A few hours, maybe. I was on a boat, trying to escape… then everything went wrong.” Wonyoung replies.

I nod. I get it. The war didn’t care who we were, celebrity or nobody, we all ended up fighting for survival.

I sat onto the sand beside her, keeping a respectful distance. My body still aches from the swim, but at least I’m alive. “We should find shelter,” I say, more to myself than her.

Wonyoung doesn’t answer right away. She’s staring at the ocean, her expression unreadable. Finally, she nods. “Yeah.”

We explore the island together. It’s small, covered in thick trees, with no sign of civilization. No food, no supplies. If we want to live, we’ll have to find a way ourselves.

We build a shelter from fallen branches near a rocky cliffside, something to protect us from the wind. It’s not much, but it’ll do for now.

I know Wonyoung is feeling hungry, I can hear the sounds from her stomach. She's embarrassed. I hunt for fruits around in the forest and give some off to her. Wonyoung smiles and thanks me for the first time.

As night arrives, we sleep inside the shelter with a distinct position from each other. I can't believe I'm sleeping nearby a famous K-pop idol!

Wonyoung must be a very clean and neat girl. As morning arrives, with no proper shelter, no soap, and no change of clothes, Wonyoung specifically start to feel disgusting. We both only got one outfit for ourselves and its also getting torn apart.

Wonyoung tugs at her damp, dirt-streaked dress, grimacing. “I can’t take this anymore. I feel gross.”

I look down at myself. My clothes are stiff with dried saltwater and sweat. “Yeah, me too.”

She crosses her arms, thinking. “We need to wash them.”

I nod, then realize the problem. “But… if we wash them, we’ll have nothing to wear.”

She sighs. “I know.”

We stand there in awkward silence, both aware of what that means.

“…Maybe we take turns?” I suggest hesitantly.

She gives me a sharp look. “You mean one of us stays naked while the other waits?”

I scratch my head. “I mean… yeah?”

She groans, burying her face in her hands. “This is so embarrassing.”

I shrug. “We don’t have a choice. It’s just us here.”

She peeks at me through her fingers. “Still!”

After a long pause, she exhales sharply. “Fine!" “This is so worse!” she mutters.

I chuckle. “At least we’ll be clean.”

She grumbles but doesn’t argue.

And so, in our strange little world, even washing clothes becomes a ridiculous challenge. But somehow, we manage—awkward, embarrassed, but surviving together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But suddenly, it seems Wonyoung has realized survival takes priority over everything else. Embarrassment, modesty—those things start to feel pointless.

To my surprise, Wonyoung just… pulls her dress over her head.

I freeze. My brain short-circuits as the gorgeous Wonyoung directly takes off her clothes near me, her medium sized breasts with pretty pink nipples, a luscious curvy figure that takes my breath away. Her natural scent is divine yet there's a hint of dirt clinging to her perfect skin. Now as soon as she also takes off her smelly and dirty underwear the same time, I see her pussy is hairy, maybe she doesn't shave it often. I keep looking in at her hungrily, finding every aspect of Wonyoung naked incredibly sexy.

She throws her dress and underwear onto a sea, standing now in nothing but her bare skin, completely unbothered. “You should do the same,” she says casually. “It’s just us, anyway.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I swallow hard, staring at the ground now. “Uh… are you sure about this?”

She shrugs. “Why not? Clothes are useless if they’re this filthy. We might as well just stay like this.”

I feel my face burning. “I mean… isn’t that a little—”

She raises an eyebrow. “What? Weird? Embarrassing?” She sighs. “At first, yeah. But think about it—we’re stuck here, just the two of us. Why should we care?”

I can’t argue with that logic. She’s right. There’s no one else. No society. No rules.

Still, I hesitate.

She smirks slightly. “You’re overthinking it.”

I exhale, then slowly pull off my shirt. Then my pants. The air feels strange against my skin, but at the same time… freeing.

Wonyoung smiles. “See? Not so bad.”

And just like that, we accept our fate. No more shame, no more awkwardness—just two survivors, stripped of everything, living in the most natural way possible.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As now I'm naked as well, Wonyoung starts to look at my rod standing at attention. I caught her biting her lips and smiling, which I found adorable. She playfully teases, 'I can't help it, it's so…funny!' I blush furiously and retort, 'Hey, don't laugh!'". I'm confused why the heck Wonyoung is laughing at my dick? Maybe she has never seen one before?

"You look funny naked, especially with that thing down standing out of nowhere so hard" Wonyoung teases.

I'm sure Wonyoung knows herself why my dick is hard at the moment. It only get this way when there's a pretty hot girl around. Also the fact, Wonyoung is naked herself too. Wonyoung's stomach makes a noise again, its time for food and we realize we should start hunting for survival.

Yesterday we survived on wild fruits & coconuts, and anything remotely edible that we can scavenge. But soon, we realize that if we want to stay strong, we need real food ~ fish.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wonyoung figures out that if we trap fish in small tidal pools near the shore, we can just grab them with our hands. It’s tricky, but with patience, we manage to catch a few.

Since we don’t have pots or pans, we cook the fish directly over a fire. We create a simple fire pit using dry wood and stones. We skewer the fish on sticks and roast them over the flames until they’re cooked through.

The first bite of was Incredible. We eat in silence, both of us savoring the moment. Wonyoung licks her lips, grinning. “I never thought I’d be this happy just eating a burnt fish.”

I laugh, nodding at her words.

As night falls, the temperature on the island drops, and the once-refreshing breeze turns into a chilling wind. Its getting cold. Yesterday we had our clothes but this morning, upon Wonyoung's idea, I also threw my clothes and we're both naked still.

With no clothes, no blankets, and only a small fire to keep us warm, the cold becomes a real problem.

At first, we try to endure it, huddling close to the fire, wrapping ourselves in large leaves, anything to stay warm. But nothing works.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wonyoung shivers beside me, hugging herself tightly. “This isn’t working,” she mutters, her teeth slightly chattering.

I sigh. I’m freezing too. Then, reluctantly, Wonyoung says, “There’s only one thing we can do.”

I looks at her, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

She hesitates. “Body heat. If we stay close, we’ll be warmer.”

I stare her for a second, then exhale, shaking my head. “I can’t believe this…” But then, after another shiver, I mutter, “Fine. But don’t get any ideas. I try to be positive, trying my best to be a gentleman ”

But Wonyoung seems to have something in her mind, she has been trying a little to seduce me even in this kind of survival condition ever since we both got naked.

We move closer, our bare skin pressing together. The warmth is immediate, awkward at first, but undeniable.

She rests her head against my shoulder, her body still tense. “I love this,” she whispers.

Slowly, her body relaxes against mine, and I feel my own muscles easing. The cold doesn’t bite as much anymore.

After a few moments of silence, she sighs. “You’re warm…”

I smirk. “So are you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wonyoung hugs me tigher, her chest pressing over mine. I can feel the size of her breasts, I have never grabbed them yet with my hands. I feel so good as well as her skin presses over mine more tightly..

Wonyoung and I can see the full moon together, it looks beautiful.

And just like that, we fall asleep, two survivors, pressed together against the cold, finding warmth in the only way we can.

The next morning, fever hits me suddenly. One moment, I’m fine, tired but fine. My body feels like it’s burning from the inside. My limbs are weak, my vision blurry, and every breath feels heavy.

I collapse near our shelter, barely able to keep my eyes open. Wonyoung rushes over, panic written all over her face.

“Hey! What’s wrong?” She kneels beside me, pressing a hand to my forehead. The moment she touches me, she gasps. “You’re burning up…”

I try to respond, but my throat is dry, my voice barely a whisper. “I’m… just tired…”

She bites her lip, looking around as if searching for a solution. “You’re Sick OH God!!"

Wonyoung has gotten emotional. She swallows hard, taking a shaky breath.

For the first time, I see her cry.

Even in this desperate situation, I hate seeing her like this. I slowly reach out, grabbing her trembling hand. “Hey… I’m not dead yet.” I try to smile, but even that takes too much effort.

She sniffles and squeezes my hand tightly. “You better not die,” she whispers. “I can’t be alone here.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night, Wonyoung stays by my side, cooling my forehead with wet leaves, giving me water, whispering words of reassurance even when she thinks I’m asleep.

And in my fevered haze, I realize something—she’s not just the famous girl I once admired from afar. She’s not just my survival partner. She might be someone special in my life.

The fever doesn’t break overnight, that day Wonyoung does all the job, cooking the fishes and finding survival resources. My body feels weak, my head heavy, and every movement sends waves of exhaustion through me. But Wonyoung never leaves my side.

She brings me water from the stream, carefully tilting a coconut shell to my lips. “Drink,” she murmurs. Her voice is soft but firm, her eyes filled with worry.

I manage a few sips before resting my head back down. “Thanks…” I whisper.

She sighs, brushing my damp hair back. “You’re burning up.”

That night, as the cold wind howls through our shelter, Wonyoung presses herself against me, wrapping her arms around my body. “This should help,” she whispers. “You need warmth.”

I’m too weak to argue, and honestly, her body heat is comforting. She rests her head against my chest, holding me close. She takes care of my body.

At some point, I groan, my muscles aching all over.

She notices immediately. “Does it hurt?”

I nod weakly.

Without hesitation, she shifts, her delicate hands moving to my shoulders. Slowly, gently, she starts massaging me, her fingers pressing into my tense muscles. She also gave me a handjob at the middle. I don’t even know if I should count it as lewd since we have been naked together and staying like this for 2 days already, but this is the first time she grabbed my dick with her hands.

“Relax,” she whispers. “You always do everything for us. Just let me take care of you.”

Her hands move down my arms, across my back, easing the knots of pain. Her touch is soft but firm, careful yet reassuring.

For the first time in days, I feel a little better.

I close my eyes, letting her warmth, her touch, her presence lull me into much-needed rest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wonyoung asks, “Do you think the war is over?”

I exhale, shaking my head. “I don’t know.”

She stares at the horizon. “What if… no one is left?”

I glance at her. “What do you mean?”

She hugs herself tighter. “Last time we saw the world… there were nukes being launched. Countries were falling apart. If the war is over, does that mean someone won? Or does it mean no one is left to fight anymore?”

A heavy silence falls between us. The thought is terrifying, but not impossible.

I swallow. “Even if there are survivors, do you think anyone would look for us? We’re on some random, uncharted island. We don’t even know if this place is on any map.”

Wonyoung’s expression darkens. “We could be doomed.”

I don’t want to believe that. But deep down, I know she might be right.

She rests her head on my shoulder. “It’s just us now,” she whispers.

I wrap an arm around her, pulling her close. “Then we survive. No matter what.”

“But if we are the only ones left…” Wonyoung hesitates. “Should we… you know�� repopulate?”

The word hangs in the air, heavier than anything we’ve ever spoken before.

I swallow hard. “You’re asking if we should have kids?”

She nods slowly. “It’s what humans do, right? Continue the species.”

The idea makes sense, logically. But something about it feels too real.

I exhale. “That’s a big decision.”

She glances at me, her cheeks slightly flushed. “I know. But if the world is gone… doesn’t that mean we’re responsible for rebuilding it?”

I run a hand through my hair, trying to process. “It’s not just about responsibility. We’d be bringing a child into a world with no hospitals, no medicine, no help. It’d be dangerous.”

She bites her lip, thinking. “Yeah… but if we don’t, then when we die, that’s it. The end of humanity.”

Silence. The fire crackles between us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pt2:

Wonyoung finally sighs, shaking her head. “Maybe I’m overthinking.”

After some while, Wonyoung asks, "Do you want some special comfort?"

Without understanding what special comfort she meant, I nodded yes.

Wonyoung winks and positioned her face between my legs. Her hands reach up to gently caress my thighs, sending shivers through my body. Leaning in slowly, I suddenly feel her pink tongue extends and swirls around the tip of my dick. A soft gasp escapes her as she tastes me, her eyes never leaving mine. She takes the head into her warm, inviting mouth.

I feel my full length inside her mouth. I finally realized Wonyoung is giving me a blowjob already. Wonyoung pulls back a bit. She grins, still stroking me gently. "Mmm…you like that y/n?" She teases before taking me deep again, bobbing her head with purpose now.

"Wonyoung, are you serious right now? You're a famous idol… I can't believe ur doing this!?!" I say.

Wonyoung replies, "Well, I don't think there's anyone left in the world. We should start reproducing already!." She continues taking my length more inside her mouth.

I realize Wonyoung must be feeling emotional, and that I'm the only person in her life now. It doesn't matter if I'm attractive or not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wonyoung is absolutely magnificent as she works to please me with her lips and tongue. Her tongue dances against the sensitive under side of my dick each time I hit the back of her mouth. She gazes up at me with desire, her cheeks hollowing as she takes me deeper still. Every flick, suck and lick from Wonyoung feels heavenly, it's clear she was made for this. I can't hold back my cries of pleasure - "Oh wow, Wonyoung please stop, you are amazing at this!"

Wiping a strand of saliva from her chin after she finishes sucking my rod, Wonyoung sits up and spreads her legs wide. Her thick bush of dark hair beckons me forward. "Alright, enough pleasing you. I want the same feeling as well. Mind eating my hairy pussy now?" she commands.

"Are you serious? But I'm sick!" I reply to her command.

"Oh right", Wonyoung pauses, a look of determination crossing her face. "Can't stand or return the favor hmm?" She grins slyly. "No problem, I can adapt." She positions herself above me, her beautiful eyes twinkling. "Here, I'll just…sit right down."

And with that, Wonyoung lowers herself, her vertical lips parting as she envelops my face in her warmth. I feel her weight settle on my face as she slowly sits on my face, her pussy hair tickling my nose.

I get flashbacks of watching Wonyoung's performance through my screen at home last year before the war started. It's exactly that same ass! Now that ass is about to be buried all over my face.

As Wonyoung lowers herself onto me fully, I am enveloped by her feminine heat and scent from her ass… She is totally face sitting on me.. Wonyoung is now riding my face!

Eager to please, I decide to really explore Wonyoung's shithole. Gently I spread her ass cheeks further apart, gazing at her tight little bud. I push my tongue forward deep, pushing more deep into Wonyoung's most intimate place. Inside her anus, my tongue meets warm, velvety smooth walls that grip me gently. A faint musky scent fills my senses as I wiggle and stroke within her sensitive rim.

My tongue inside her asshole is absorbing up every sticky morsel. The taste is intense, earthy and undeniably naughty. I delve deeper, driven by an urge to clean every inch of her filthy depths.

Her inner walls clench and grip my probing tongue as I feel the wet, dirty texture inside her tight little shithole. It's a decadent mess inside here. Oh fuck, Am I really eating her wet messy holes as she commands?

Shee gasps but then urges me, "Deeper...stick your tongue in!".

I oblige, slowly working my tongue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her ass shakes over my head with a playful excitement from taking in charge, she still asks teasingly, "Is OK?"

I nod, surrendering to pleasure her. My tongue extends, lapping up her slick nectar. She tastes divine. I feel her move, grinding against my mouth harder. She shifts a bit and my tongue finds her hairy wet pussy, making her bite her lip and smile wider.

I eagerly lap up every drop of her juices, my tongue tracing her folds and circling her engorged clit. I suck the bud into my mouth, flicking it while my hands press against her thighs for balance. Wonyoung gasps, riding my face harder. I insert my tongue as deep as it will go inside her within her wetness.

Wonyoung grinds down harder, inviting me to continue. I oblige, gently probing at her holes with more intention now. The salty-sweet taste of mixing her essence on my tongue drives me wild. Wonyoung cries out, clearly enjoying using me completely.

"Mmm…you're so good with that tongue, I just can't resist returning the favor!" Wonyoung cries. She leans down, taking my throbbing length back into her mouth. Now our bodies form a delightfully lewd 69 position - me eating her treasure while she continues to suck me off.

Her hips move in a sensual rhythm, grinding her wetness all over my face as I feel the base of my shaft hit her throat each time she takes me deep.

Our 69 is smooth and rhythmic now, both of us falling into it as the ecstasy builds. My tongue works her clit in firm circles while I thrust my tongue as deep as possible into her tight back doorway. Wonyoung's mouth moves expertly along my shaft, her lips sealed tight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just when I think it can't get more intense, I feel a warm fluid against my chin and mouth. "Oh my god, I'm sorry!" Wonyoung cries out. But I don't pull back - I simply extend my tongue, catching her pee with every skillful lick. She trembles above me as she finishes, spent. A mixture of her fluids coats my face but I don't mind one bit, still savoring her completely.

Against my will, I'm forced to drink down her warm, tangy urine. It's strong and acrid on my tongue but I obediently swallow, NOT wanting to displease Wonyoung. She seems shy now, her cheeks flushed crimson.

"Here, let me make it better." She whispers. Wonyoung begins gently licking my face with her soft, pink tongue. She methodically cleans every inch, the bitter taste slowly fading. When she reaches my lips she takes me into her mouth again, our tongues meeting. She swallows some of her own urine back from my mouth as we have a mouthful french kiss. Her eyes closed, slipping her tongue into my mouth. There it mixes with my saliva too, a lewd, taboo French kiss. When she finally breaks the kiss, her eyes search mine - a mix of apology and invitation.

She again engages me in a deep and soulful kiss. Wonyoung breaks the kiss, her eyes glinting with newfound desire. She stands up now. "I hope you can forgive me," she purrs before sitting over my shaft. Wonyoung positions herself now ready to ride my dicm. "Now fuck me…fuck me hard, its time for reproduction already! Forget the humanity outside! Theres no one left!" she screams.

She cries out as I claim her. I watch my rod disappearing between her thighs, feeling her walls tighten around me. "Yes, that's it!, Oh my god I can't believe I'm having my first time!" Wonyoung moans as she rides my dick hard. Our bodies connect with a primal rhythm as I punish her core. I know I won't last long after that intense buildup. "Don't stop!" she gasps, pulling me deeper. I'm determined to satisfy us both.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tears spring to her eyes but she keeps crying out "Yes yes yes!".. Wonyoung is literally screaming and riding me at the middle of the island. We don’t know what's happening outside in the real world. But here, it seems we both are actually enjoying. Birds and insects are watching us fuck in the silent island. The island is full of her screams and cries in pleasure.

Wonyoung starts bouncing on my rod harder. Each deep thrust draws out prolonged, wailing cries from Wonyoung's lips: "AHH! AHHH PLEASE!". Wonyoung leans down upon my mouth for a kiss now.

She breathes, "You're taking me so well", "but I'm not nearly done with you yet until u cum inside me."

Wonyoung's forcefully kisses me deep and moans. "Ahh, please, I can't.. Cum already.!" she cries desperately, a mix of fear and excitement in her voice.

Wonyoung screams again, her voice rising in pitch as I cum inside her "OOOOHHH!"

Wonyoung feels the sticky white cum fill inside her. Its a big load. She still continues riding, but now Wonyoung feels something tear inside her�� "You…you tore me," she whispers, eyes wide.

I push her away from my dick, I see a mess down in her pussy. Its full of my sperm and cum, her insides must have broken and torn apart since its her first time. "It hurts but we succeeded. I'm probably finally pregnant!." Wonyoung cries.

I get emotional too. I hug Wonyoung, and as she hugs me back, we hold each other with love, and I can feel her warmth and heartbeat. Inside Wonyoung is a complex mix of emotions and physical sensations.

I can't believe it, did I actually breed Wonyoung, the most popular K-pop girl? This feels so real, it’s definitely not a dream! Yes, thats right! If I and Wonyoung are really the only humans left, the next world generation will be descendants of us!

#wonyoung smut #girl group smut #kpop girl smut #izone smut #ive smut #yujin smut #yuna smut #itzy smut #twice smut #karina smut

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honeypiehotchner · 28 days ago

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Couldn't Make It Any Harder (Hotch x Fem!Reader) -- one shot

Anxious girlies rise!!! I'm just fantasizing about someone staying and not being an asshole and in my mind Hotch would stay and wouldn't be an asshole, so this was born (also yes I listened to Sabrina Carpenter's song by the same title while I wrote this!)

Warnings: hurt/comfort, angst all over the place, very anxious reader, Hotch being the kindest and most understanding man alive, est. relationship, fluff!, maybe autistic!reader if you squint

WC: 3.2k

Dating Aaron Hotchner is never short of any surprises.

With how hectic his work schedule can be, plans are often impromptu and random text messages before phone calls asking if you’re free for anything: dinner, a drink, a movie, a walk.

Dating him is also never short of innocent questions.

These, you didn’t expect, but maybe you should’ve — or would’ve, if you truly understood what his job is. He explained it to you, but it’s hard for you to wrap your head around the fact that he’s part of a team of people so good at reading the behavior of other people that they can catch criminals based on it alone.

His job almost seemed fake, too good to be true — and so did he.

Especially when, after a month of dating, neither of you had stayed the night with one another, and he wasn’t pressing the subject when he’d suggest it and you’d politely tell him no.

You almost thought it meant he didn’t like you at all and was only being nice by going on dates with you, even though he didn’t seem like that kind of guy at all. Still, you can never be too careful.

And when he made reservations for your six-month anniversary at a fancy restaurant downtown, and told you when he’d pick you up, and even showed up a few minutes early but told you to take your time, you thought you were going insane. There was no way it was true, that he was true.

But he was. And is.

Except, your relationships have a shelf life. Or rather, you have a shelf life.

None of your previous relationships have made it this far, none of them too thrilled about the fact that you’re not well-experienced sexually, or the fact that you want to actually wait until you feel secure in a relationship before taking that step. Of course, none of them said that was the reason they were ending things, but you knew. You could tell.

After having it happen to you multiple times, you can’t let yourself relax. Any time that you feel like you’re maybe going to get comfortable, some anxious thought rears its ugly head and sets you right back where you were.

You try your hardest to enjoy the relationship with Aaron, and you do. Knowing his work schedule varies allows you to keep your distance, making it easier to keep telling yourself that you’re keeping your guard up. You’re keeping yourself protected for when the inevitable other shoe drops to the ground like a bomb.

So, it’s no surprise that as your relationship approaches the eight-month mark, and Aaron asks if you’d like to come over to his place for dinner on a random weeknight after a couple weeks of not seeing each other, you think the worst.

“How do I look?” you ask your best friend over FaceTime as you spin in a circle. “Hot enough to be broken up with?”

“You are not getting broken up with!” she cries over the phone. “And yes, hot, as always.”

“Thanks,” you sigh, strategically not commenting on her theory that you’ll still have a boyfriend by the end of tonight.

“He’s not going to break up with you,” she says again, softer this time. “He’s different.”

“I always think they’re different, that’s the problem,” you mutter. “He just took a lot longer than I thought he would.” You don’t need to spell it out for your best friend to know that this one will hurt the worst out of them all.

Because this time, you love him.

“You don’t know that he’s going to break up with you.”

“You know that gut feeling I always had before the others?” you say, looking at her solemnly. “I have it right now.”

She frowns. You almost think she’s going to argue with you, but she doesn’t. Because she knows. You had the same gut feeling the last five times. Why would it be wrong on the sixth?

“I’m sorry,” she finally says.

“It’s okay,” you shrug, picking up your purse and lifting your phone. You glance at the clock. “I guess I should go.”

He offered to pick you up, but you said you’d drive yourself. You figure you’d rather do your future self a favor and save yourself from the awkward post-breakup drive home.

“Call me after,” she says with another sad smile. “We can cry if you need to.”

“Thank you.”

“And hey, if he does break up with you, I can come up this weekend and key his car for you.”

“Babe. He works for the FBI.”

“So?”

You laugh as you roll your eyes. “Goodbye. I’ll call you later.”

You drive to Aaron’s in complete silence. You don’t even intend to, you’re just on autopilot.

You’re trying not to shut down emotionally, but you can already feel it happening. It’s inevitable when you feel like you’re about to be hurt. The shield goes up, the walls raise, and nothing gets past them.

With any luck, you won’t even cry when he breaks up with you. You don’t always, which gets you labeled as a cold hearted bitch, but that doesn’t bother you.

You put your brave face on when you pull into his driveway, only it quickly morphs into shock when Aaron comes out the front door in dark jeans and a black button down. He opens your car door for you with an easy, genuine smile, looking as handsome and happy to see you as ever.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you chuckle nervously, stepping out and letting him shut your car door.

“I wanted to,” he shrugs, leaning in for a kiss.

You accept it, trying not to seem so stiff, but the slight furrow of his eyebrows tells you that he felt it. He doesn’t say anything about it though.

“Come on,” he murmurs, one hand on the small of your back as he walks you inside. “I’ve never made this for dinner before, so we might end up with pizza.”

“All good,” you laugh, setting your purse in its usual spot on the table by the door.

The conversation is fine, if a little awkward, as you sit in his kitchen so he can keep an eye on dinner in the oven. He offers wine and you decline, just taking some water. He keeps furrowing his eyebrows just a little, his tell for when he’s reading your behavior but doesn’t quite know what to make of it yet.

You sip your water and avoid eye contact while he shuffles around the kitchen, finishing up dinner.

He washes his hands, leaning back against the sink as he dries his hands with a towel. He watches you with a soft expression.

“Is everything okay?” he finally asks.

You hate when they do this. Because if you say you’ve had a rough day, they won’t break up with you because they don’t want to “make it worse”. But if you say you’ve had a good day, they will go through with the breakup, because they’d rather ruin your good mood instead of make the bad mood worse.

“Yep,” you say with a tiny smile. “Just watching you.”

He returns the smile, but it’s not at all easy like before.

Fuck. Should you just rip the band-aid off and ask?

You nearly do, but then he says dinner should be ready, and you can’t. You almost expect to be eating right here at the stools on his counter, or for him to break the news and you leave without eating, but he waves you through to the dining room.

You follow after him, a little confused, stopping dead in your tracks in the doorway when you see the sight before you.

A white table cloth over his little square table, candles in the middle, a small bouquet of your favorite flowers set aside to make room for the dish he made, plates and cutlery and a wine glass already laid out on either side.

“What is this?” you ask, your heart hammering in your chest and threatening to escape up your throat.

“Our favorite restaurant was fully booked,” he explains with an awkward laugh. “So I tried to recreate one we always order, and thought I’d try to recreate the table too. It’s a little…wonky, but it’s close enough I think.”

You blink. “Why?”

The deep concern returns to his face. “Because I want to.”

“But why?” you ask again, staring at him with wide eyes, like you’re trying to catch him in something.

He comes closer, the worry on his face only growing. “We haven’t been able to have dinner together in a couple weeks because the cases have been packed, so I wanted it to be special.”

“Okay,” you swallow, nodding slowly. He just wanted it to be special. Right. “Okay.”

“Come sit,” he says softly, hands reaching out for you as if he needs to steady you. You kind of need him to.

After he safely has you tucked into your seat, and he’s brought your water over for you to drink, he sits in the chair beside you.

“Dinner’s gonna get cold,” you murmur, not wanting to be the subject of his profiling right now. You stare down at the empty plate.

“I can warm it back up,” he says, taking one of your hands. “Can I ask you a question?”

Skeptical, you nod.

“Why do you always seem so shocked when I do something nice for you?”

Your eyes close as you grimace. Great. Now he thinks you’re ungrateful on top of it all.

“I don’t mean it in a rude way,” he clarifies, his thumb rubbing back and forth on your hand, soothing you. “I just mean…when you ask why I do these things, like dinner and bring you flowers and open your car door, and I say I’m doing it because I want to… You almost look like you don’t believe me, and today you really look like you don’t believe me.”

“I do believe you,” you rush to say, but now he looks like he doesn’t believe you. “Or maybe I don’t,” you add quietly, looking back down at where your fingers are tangled. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize, honey,” he says, and he sounds so desperate that it makes your heart ache. “I just want to understand you better.”

Your face crumples at that, the emotion too much to keep at bay when he’s being this kind to you and you were thinking he was going to break up with you — and he still could.

“Sorry,” you sniffle, your free hand coming up to cover your mouth as you shake your head. “It’s stupid.”

“It’s not, it’s not stupid,” he says, using both hands to hold yours. “Is it something I did? Or said?”

“No, it’s just—” you cut yourself off, letting out a shaky breath. “I thought you were breaking up with me tonight.”

He stills. And it makes your heart freeze. You caught him. Here it is. You brace for impact.

“Honey, I— That’s not at all what I was planning on doing tonight. What made you think that I was going to break up with you?”

“You invited me to dinner at your place,” you cry, and when you say it out loud like that, it really doesn’t make any sense.

“Why would I do that if I was going to break up with you?”

“You wouldn’t believe the ways I’ve been broken up with,” you let out a laugh, trying to make light of this now very emotional and awkward situation. “I’m sorry, I’m ruining what was supposed to be a very normal, romantic dinner—”

“Listen to me, you are not ruining anything,” he says firmly, still looking up at you with those kind brown eyes. “I just want to understand what’s going on in that brain of yours.”

“Trust me, you don’t want to know.”

“Trust me, I do.”

You stare at him for a moment, wondering when the twist is coming. The moment he says it was all a ruse and he is ending things. The moment you can call his bluff.

But it never comes. His gaze doesn’t waver, and neither does the care in his eyes.

“Okay,” you murmur. “But can we talk over dinner or after? It smells really good.”

He laughs at that, the sound warming you from the inside out. His smile is infectious as he nods and says, “Of course we can. We should probably taste this and see if we need to put in a pizza order.”

He moves his plate so he stays sitting right beside you, where he can keep his hand tucked in yours. It feels safe.

One bite in and you’re amazed at how well he recreated the dish and how good it tastes. You’re too busy devouring the food to even think about explaining your thought process behind tonight anymore.

Except, Aaron does return to the subject, not wanting to let it go just yet, because clearly you have him spooked after saying you thought you were going to be broken up with.

So, you explain. There was the guy who broke up with you on your birthday. And one who did it a day before Valentine’s Day. And another who decided that mid-six-month-anniversary date was prime time to end things. And then a couple others with bad timing but not the worst. But all had one thing in common.

“I know we haven’t had sex yet and I guess I’ve just grown to realize I have a shelf life.”

Aaron looks alarmed. “Shelf life?”

“Yeah, like, I tell people I want to wait before I take the step to do anything sexually, and I only have so much time before me being desirable…expires, I guess.”

He blinks. You watch what looks like a thousand emotions cross his face at once and you’re unable to read any of them. “Did someone…say that to you?”

You shake your head. “Not really. Not exactly those words. But I kind of came to the conclusion after the third time it happened. I guess I just expect it now.”

Aaron is quiet for a moment, thumbs rubbing gentle circles on the back of your hand. You’re not sure at all of what he’s going to say. “The last time we had dinner before my work schedule got so crazy these last two weeks…did we move too fast?”

You try to think back to that night. It was dinner and then the two of you came back to Aaron’s for a drink. Nothing crazy because you needed to drive home still. But the two of you did get pretty hot and heavy on the couch.

Come to think of it, you didn’t drink much at all that night, because there was hardly a moment to spare when Aaron’s lips weren’t on yours, or on your neck, or your collarbones.

It didn’t escalate. He offered, you declined, said you wanted to just continue what you were doing, and that was that.

Then, you didn’t see Aaron for two weeks because of his work schedule, which meant phone calls were short and rare and text messages were as good as you could get. And so your mind put pieces together and created a scenario that wasn’t true.

“We didn’t,” you say, genuinely meaning it. “But I guess my brain freaked out because it thought you had finally had enough of hearing me turn you down and that I had finally…expired, I guess.”

He squeezes your hand. “Please don’t ever talk about yourself that way. You don’t have an expiration date. And I don’t care that we haven’t taken that step yet. I am willing to wait as long as you need to—”

“That’s what they always say,” you murmur through a watery smile. “But thanks.”

He frowns. “How can I make you believe me?” he whispers.

“I don’t know,” you reply truthfully, your face crumpling again. Your hand slips from his so you can cover your face, sniffling hard into your palms. “I’m sorry. I know I don’t make it easy.”

“Honey…don’t make what easy?”

“Dating me,” you sob, not knowing if he can even understand you through the tears. “I get it if you— If this is your limit, I get it. I'd understand.” You sniffle again, wiping your face and nose and trying to regain any sort of composure that you can find.

Aaron looks up at you, and after a moment too long of silence, you almost think he’s actually going to do it, but he doesn’t. He does the opposite.

“I love you,” he says.

You inhale sharply, wiping under your nose again. “You do?”

He doesn’t move to grab your hands after you’ve taken them away, but he reaches toward you, nodding. “I wanted to say it at our favorite restaurant, but that fell through, so I thought I’d make it special and tell you here instead, but…I had no idea you were feeling like this.”

“I didn’t wanna tell you in case I was right,” you murmur. “I didn’t want to scare you away by being too needy, I guess.”

He smiles gently. “Nothing is going to scare me away,” he assures you, taking your hand again. “Can I ask a favor, though?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you tell me the next time you’re feeling like this?” he asks softly. “I want to be able to help, but I can’t if I don’t know what’s going on. And I hate the thought of you silently suffering with this when I’m right here and I can give you the reassurance you need.”

You nod more now. “I can. I can do that.” You pause. “Hey Aaron?”

“Yes, honey?”

“I love you too,” you reply, feeling a wave of relief come over you after you let it out, knowing he feels the same. It makes fresh tears spring into your eyes all over again. “I’ve felt it for so long and I think it was scaring me because I can’t ever let myself relax into a relationship without worrying that something is going to go wrong—”

He hauls you into his arms without another moment’s hesitation, letting you cry into his shoulder. It’s all the months of worry building up and finally boiling over, and he lets you get it all out.

“I’m so sorry,” you say into his neck, taking in shaky breaths.

“Please don’t apologize, honey,” he replies, rubbing circles on your back. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Thank you for listening,” you say, barely able to get the words out through the emotion in your voice. You take a deep breath, relaxing further into his arms while simultaneously gripping his shirt as hard as you can. This has exhausted you.

“Do you want to move to the couch?” he asks. “We can put on that show we were watching together. I can pour us some wine if that might help you calm down?”

You nod into his neck, not quite wanting to leave this spot just yet. “I’d like that,” you sigh. “Can we stay like this for a minute?”

“Of course,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to your temple. “We can stay as long as you need.”

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cosmosluckycharms · 5 months ago

Text

Showtime☆

pt 1

Little Miss

Your momma was just a regular lady. Despite not being rich she gave you everything she could.

She'd take you out to parks with your cousins, she'd drop you off at your grandfathers house when she had a job interview, she'd listen to you talk about your nonsense, and she would bake for you and help you bake! She wasnt rich by any means but she tried her best! You knew she'd give you the clothes on her back if you asked!

Momma wasnt anyone important to others. A mere fling by Bruce from back in his Brucie Wayne days. but she was important to you! Momma didnt hide your father. She wasnt emparrassed. She said it was amazing to have "such a ball of sunshine" with her!

She never told you she was glad you werent broody like your father

Despite never meeting your father, you wondered what he was like. Was he as sweet as momma? Was he kind like momma? Would he take you out for ice cream like momma?

You never fully had time to wonder though, Momma was always dropping you off at your grandpas house whenever she had a job interview. Which was basically every other day. You didnt mind though! It gave you more time to get closer to your grandpa!

You both had similar personalities! you both liked music, games, themeparks despite how you could only go once at 5 years old. your grandpa and momma had to save up for 8 months and a half, walking and talking and baking and, and, and-

Youre 7 when your mom dies. She died from not getting her Pneumonia checked out. You wanted to beat yourself up for not noticing, you wanted to cry and throw up and blame it on yourself, but the truth was no one knew besides her.

You felt something was off because the months leading up to her death her smile was fading. Momma didnt want you to worry and snitch to your grandpa and put more on his back so she kept quiet and never told anyone.

She couldnt even tell a doctor, she couldnt afford the medical bills and she'd rather die then tell bruce

You always were very observent. You mourned for a while, as much as you could anyways. You couldnt mourn for long, you had to keep going, for momma! You kept smiling, for momma.

You and your grandpa tried your hardest to keep going for her, to keep her memory alive. You held onto the art projects she started but never finished, onto the books she never released, onto the movies that never made it in the industry.

Youre 7 when your grandpa dies. He died from accidental overdose from his off-brand medications.

You tell yourself he isnt dead hecantbedeadhecantdieandleavepleasedontleavemecomebackplease

Everything was a blur from there. You decide to creamate him, like momma.

You space out for what feels like hours. Its been a while when you stop dissasociating and realize you're at a police station where theyre taking dna tests on you to see if you have any other family to take care of you.

Its a shock to others when it points to Bruce Wayne being your father, and it shocks them more when you immidiately say you already knew and how you immidiately brighten up and go on talking about the things your momma said about him.

After what feels like hours, someone who definitely does not look like who your father picks you up.

He says hes your fathers butler, you didnt even know those were real! You thought they were made up for movies!

He keeps trying to talk to you in his fancy car, you try to keep the conversation going to distract yourself from how you really just want your momma.

hi im new at writing pls be nice sorry for the mistakes

tags:

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h33slvr · 29 days ago

Text

your eyes only ~ s.jy

pairing: idol!jakesim x reader

warnings!: very nasty talking, multiple creampies(like 2💔), praising, usage of petnames(baby, puppy), begging, pussy eating, blowjob, violent oral sex, spitting in mouth, etc.

synopsis: today is your wedding day, your getting married to the love of your life, jake sim. throughout the wedding reception your bridesmaids decided it would be a good idea to sneak jake some pictures. bridal boudoir pictures to be exact.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"time to say your vows." the officiant stepped back and stood with his hands intertwined in front of him.

you and jake both looked at each other at the same time. the sight in front of you was breathtaking, jake in a suit with his hair nicely combed back and a pair of glasses that weren't prescription. you loved every second of this day, you finally get to express your love to your high school sweetheart, your true first and only love.

"gosh, im nervous" jakes accent was thick and his tone was soft, he reached in his back pocket fishing out a nicely folded up piece of paper. his hands were shaking like a leaf.

he cleared his throat and took a deep breath as he began,

"y/n, my love, my light, from the moment i met you. you’ve shown me what love looks like in its purest form — patient, kind, and loving. today, standing here with you, i feel like the luckiest man alive. i vow to always honor you — not just with my words, but with my actions. to stand beside you in the good days and in the hard ones, to listen fully, speak honestly, and love endlessly. i promise to never take you for granted, to always see the beauty in your soul, to make you laugh when life gets too heavy, and to hold you close when we get into arguments and you still want me close. you are my best friend, my calm, my home. i will be there, loving you, walking beside you every step of the way. today, I give you my whole heart, my loyalty, and my forever. because you, and only you, are the love of my life. and forever it was stay that way, I love you y/n."

by the end of his vows he was shaking and crying while heeseung, his best man, was behind him rubbing his back trying to calm him down.

you looked at him and matched his face, pouting as tears fell from your eyes also. the tears were falling fast, ruining your mascara but you didn't care not even a little.

"and now the bride may say her vows" the officiant spoke once more and looked over at you.

taking a deep breath also and sniffling a couple times your mom that was standing up there with you handing you, a nice white piece of paper not folded or anything. you began,

"my love, my best friend, my forever…today, instand before you filled with gratitude and joy, knowing that i get to spend the rest of my life loving you. i vow to always see you with the same eyes and heart that i see you with in this moment — full of admiration, full of trust, and overflowing with love. i promise to support your dreams, because through them I see the amazing soul that you are. i will celebrate your victories and hold you in your defeats, because we are a team — always stronger together. i vow to be patient and kind, to listen even when it’s hard, and to speak with love, even when it’s easier not to. i promise to grow with you, to keep choosing you, every single day, through every season of life. you are my safe place, my laughter in chaos, my calm in the storm. with you, i’ve found not just a partner, but my home. so today, in front of everyone we love, i give you all of me — my heart, my promises, my forever. i also give our beautiful layla a mother to forever remember, i cant wait to give our life another chapter. i love you always and forever, jake sim."

a heart-throbbing sob filled your ears, you look down to see jake on the floor, curled up with his head in his arms. he sobbed, finally looking at you as you crouched down in front of him. "puppy, don't cry. your gonna make me cry again" you already felt the tears forming but you held them back as best as you could.

"t-that was so beautiful baby..i love you so much" and before the officiant could even say kiss the bride or anything, jake kissed you right then and there. you, of course, kissed back, cupping his face sweetly. "i love you so much baby, so fucking much" he kept repeating, jake finally wiped his tears and kissed away any tears falling from your face.

every one sitting in the crowd of people that were there, clapped in celebration. people were even recording the entire thing.

after that happened, the two of you held hands and jumped the broom, laughing and giggling. now the real party starts.

the wedding reception.

you and jake were sitting at your designated table and holding hands at the table as your mother and father came to talk to you two.

"my daughter, you look beautiful" your cupped your cheeks and kissed your forehead sweetly, you laughed and thanked her. "and you found yourself a nice looking man" her focused shifted to jake who was scarfing down fruit from the food table.

he immediately paused and glanced over at you and your mother, his face becoming hot. jake placed the fruit down slowly and wiped his mouth.

his eyes now locked on yours, he was heavily embarrassed. "was the fruit good?" you asked him with a teasing grin. "delicious." jake said back in a low voice, his cheeks hot as he looked away from you once more

at that very moment your best friend, also your maid-of-honor came over to the table, her eyes fixated on yours and jake. "y/n you look so pretty..im glad you picked this one rather than, what was his name..ramond? i think he was wannabe hitman or something i don't know.." you and her both laughed before your eyes followed the polaroid he slipped jake.

your breath caught in your throat. "now?." you whispered to her and she gave you a shit eating grin. "yes, now."

jake curiously flipped the polaroid and instantly his eyes went wide, he let go of your hand. shielding the polaroid like a precious item.

it was you. on a bed covered in white, the only thing covering your body was a pair of black lace panties and your veil. your back arched with your feet pointed upwards. while looking straight into the camera.

jake had to keep his composure and also keep himself from not getting a boner. you were so focused on talking now that he tried to find something to do other than look at you, it was driving him crazy.

but thats only the beginning.

the next polaroid came while he was talking to his bestfriend, his attempts to keep himself together were slightly working. but not really especially not after this one.

you must've requested to do the photos like this.

you in his hoodie with those same black panties, with you legs spread wide for the picture. your hand resting on one of your thighs.

"fuck."

jake cussed under his breath and gulped, his mouth going dry as he glanced over at you. and for a moment your eyes locked which made jake damn near hard on the spot.

the more photos came.

the more explicit they were, and the more jake wanted to fucking explode.

one with you without anything on on your back, legs crossed and your hands over your tits, while looking in the camera again.

or the one were you in a full black lingerie set, sitting in front of the window. your back faced the camera and you came clearing see your ass. the angle alone had jake sweating bullets.

then there was one where he almost wanted to pounce on you.

right above your ass was a tattoo, "jake's property", a tramp stamp tattoo. in the picture you were bent over on the bed, naked, ass in the air so the tattoo was visibly seen. even tho your veil was over your body.

the entire time he was getting these pictures, he was getting hard.

he wasn't gonna keep himself together for much longer.

especially not after you did your solo dance for him, shit seeing you in a tight onepiece outfit as you danced over to him, straddling his lap and just dancing so...sexually.

fuck, he needed you.

the more the night went on, the more he felt his cock stir in his pants. throbbing, waiting to be released.

then finally, the reception was over. he never wanted something to end way before in his life, seeing you so pretty in your wedding dress then the pictures, and then the fucking dance? there was no more waiting.

so when finally when you two went to after wedding hotel, his hands were on you.

-------------------

"shit–jake!..wait" you couldn't even process what was going on before jake kissed your neck, sucking and biting like a starved desperate man in need of a meal asap.

he didnt even think to respond. his soul focus was you and that perfect body of yours that drove him mad. "need you–...need" he just kept repeating the same thing.

finally, he stopped his attacks and looked at you with wide needing eyes. you practically melted on the spot

jake grabbed your hand, leading you to the huge king sized mattress, gently pushing you down. "strip." that was all he said and you obeyed. slowly stripping from your clothes till you were exposed and vulnerable to him.

"fuck, look at you."

he gently caressed your thighs and kissed you deeply. the kiss was desperate, sloppy, and down right nasty, he groaned in the kiss. his hands never stopped touching your body.

"jake.." you broke the kiss, trying to keep up with jakes rushed movements. "open" his voice was low, needy. jake tilted your head to look up at him, you eyes stuck on each others.

again you obeyed, opening your mouth and subconsciously sticking out your tongue. you knew what was coming.

he spit in your mouth. a huge glob of spit sliding down your tongue, cold and fuckin nasty. a smirk formed on his lip as he watched you swallow his spit like it was the most delicious thing you ever tasted.

"nasty fuckin, whore."

"you been driving me crazy all fucking night, baby." he leaned in and whispered in your ear. "be a doll for me and fix the problem you caused." your eyes trailed down to where his hand was, rubbing himself through his trousers.

your breath caught in your throat.

a wicked smirk formed on jakes face, his eyes dark with lust as he stared at you. "get on your kness." his voice was calm..a bit too calm.

still you got on your knees, easing off the bed carefully, looking up at him as your tits bounced once you settled on the floor.

"look at you, my pretty wife, on her knees for me" he chuckled and grabbed you by your throat, "you must want me to cum all over your pretty tits, isnt that right?" you nodded, before your mouth could move.

jake let go of your face, before unbuckling his belt, letting his pants pool down to his ankles as he freed his aching cock from his boxers.

his cock was hard, his tip almost fully red. he was painfully hard. those pictures did numbers on him, your eyes locked on him stroking himself while groaning and looking dead at you.

"shit, open that pretty mouth for me.."

he moaned as he pushed his length into your mouth, his hands in your hair to keep you still so he could use you. his thrusts started off harsh and needy. you gagged and closed your eyes, gripping his thighs.

"baby, look at me." instantly his voice caught your attention, as you looked up at him, eyes glossy as tears streamed down you puffy cheeks. "such a pretty thing, fuck–.." his tip hit the back of your throat over and over.

each gag, cough, whine or any noise you made only turned him on more.

then, a low whimper left him. he was close, so so close.

"fuck baby, want me to cum all over those pretty tits? and that gorgeous face, hm?" you hummed in response, sending vibrations down his length.

"shit."

he pulled out your mouth and pumped his cock, his hand moving fact as his moans and whimpers got louder, then he broke. "fuck!.." jake groaned as thick, hot, white ropes shot out his cock. painting your face, your tits and some of your hair.

he whined as his hips bucked into his hand, slowly coming down form his high.

for a moment it was a little quiet. before jake picked you up, gently, and laid you down on the bed. cum still on your body, making you all sticky.

his mouth instantly found your soaked cunt, without a single warning he licked a long strip between your folds. a loud gasp leaving you as you spread your legs wider for him, allowing him better access to where you needed him the most.

"oh god–..jake.." he latched his lips on your clit, sucking and slurping like a starved man. "taste so goddamn..sweet.." his breath hot against your aching pussy.

the abuse on your puffy clit went on for what felt like hours, until he sunk his fingers into you.

two long but thick fingers, thrusting into your warm and slippery cunt. hitting your g-spot everytime, making you see stars. "puppy..mgh.." you whimpered. your thighs twitched as you felt your orgasm build fast.

but then the sensation was gone.

"puppy?.."

you panted out, your eyes locked on his. jake smiled up at you before standing up, his body looming over yours.

"you don't get to cum yet, not until i say so. okay baby?" helplessly, you nodded and pouted from how your neglected pussy clenched around nothing.

for a moment, jake just stared at your trembling body. his eyes trailing over every dip, mark, and flaws on your body. thats when you felt it...his cock heavy, thick and pulsing against your folds.

a smirk formed on his lips. feeling your throbbing pussy against his cock. "such a needy pussy, baby. you want me to fill this tiny little cunt up?" he leaned in and whispered into your ear, softly kissing down to your jaw then your collarbone.

"yesyesyes..puppy please"

"good fuckin girl, baby" jake lined up his aching cock against your entrance, before thrusting in with one go. a low, deep groan left him as he bottomed out. earning a high pitched moan from you. "jake!.."

his thrusts were erratic and needy, praises and sweet nothings leaving his lips like rapid fire. "my beautiful-hah-girl..such a beautiful fucking girl for me" he thrusts became more and more sloppy.

he was close. so goddamn close.

"fuckkk–..take it, take it baby..j-just like that.." a soft, deep whimper left him. "puppy..'m gonna–cum.." your nails scratched his back, leaving very noticeable red marks on his back.

hearing this, he reached between you two and rubbing your puffy clit in tight circles. "ohhh, fuckfuck!.." you cried out. your hands rested besides his face now. while your rolled in the back of your head.

your orgasm hitting like a brick, you blacked out a couple seconds. painting his cock in a pretty white. "look at you baby, cumming on my cock like that. shit–" and as if on cue he let out a loud groan, releasing his load inside your sobbing cunt. coating your gummy, velvety walls. "oh fuck.."

his thrusts slowed as he rode out yours and his release. soft whimpers and moans, falling from your lips as your thighs trembled uncontrollably.

"turn over for me.." jakes voice was rough, his eyes now on yours, his gaze more softer than before. obeying, you turned over, ass in the air as you put your face in the pillow beneath you.

and there it was. the thing he's been dying to actually see, the tattoo. "fuck, you actually did do it." his fingers grazed the black ink on your smooth skin. his eyes never leaving the sight in front of him.

"my pretty baby.."

without another thought, he lined himself up and thrusted into you again. no warning or anything. "hah!..puppy.." you whimpered, gripping the sheets underneath you. the angle made his cock go deeper inside you, a bulge appearing in your stomach from how deep he was.

"so deep–..mgh..oh fuck.." you cried, you knuckles turning white from how tight you were gripping the sheets. his hips snapping against yours relentlessly, while he whispered praises in your ear like, "this pretty pussys gripping me like she doesnt wanna let me-fuck-go".

the hot breath on your ear made you squirm under him. "don't run from it. just take it, baby" jake gripped your hips tightly, not letting you move another inch away from him.

"want you to cum on my cock baby, come on let me feel you.." you whimpered at his words, your pussy clenching around him like a vice as his fingers rubbed your clit in tight and fast circles. "be a good girl for me..." then you shattered.

your orgasm hitting harder than a pile of bricks, eyes rolling in your head as silent gasps left your swollen lips. you heard a loud deep moan from jake as he slumped over you. "fuck, you looked so hot squirting on my dick like that" you hadnt even notice you did, but there beneath you was a huge puddle of your liquids. you blushed from embarrassment and hid your face in a pillow.

"p-puppy..mm–" jake kissed your shoulder then down the arch of your back. the salty taste of sweat on his lips. his thrusts slowed as he whined, his hips shuttering against yours before he released.

a heavy load, coating your walls and leaking out of your spent pussy. "so good for me baby..i love you" he kissed your lips repeatedly, the kisses soft and loving.

"i love you too, puppy..."

"god, 'm so glad i married you."

you giggled and kissed his forehead. "and im glad i married you."

#jake sim #enhypen fic #enhypen x reader #enhypen smut #smut #kpop idols #enhypen jake #enhypen hard thoughts #kpop imagines

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ellierium · 3 months ago

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☣︎ ₊˚.⋆ 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐦!𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ⋆⁺₊

cw: nsfw and sfw themes ahead. mdni. cannibalism as a metaphor for love and sex (not really a metaphor). mentions of violence, blood, slight gore. mentions of pussy eating, face riding, bondage, venom as a sex toy.

a/n: yeaaahhhhh so im just combining my old hyper fixations together atp. thank you for reading!

𝐬𝐟𝐰:

✮ having a symbiote is not for the weak. since she's a host, she gets the wonderful gift of host communication. having a telepathic link with venom — affectionately known as "v" — means there's another voice in her head that isn't her own. he's very loud, very obnoxious, but fucking funny. you laugh at his outburst almost as much as she cringes at them.

✮ her "accident" and the whole reason she and venom are attached left her with a lot of scars. she has various scars from when she first started learning how to work with venom, before they were able to get a hang of the regenerative healing. in all honesty, she doesn't want them all gone. especially not the giant scar in her abdomen from being impaled, which made venom keep her alive. the story is not necessarily unknown to you but there are details abby refuses to share. and although v likes to give her a hard time, he slithers out of sight if you turn his attention to him during a conversation like that.

✮ she and venom absolutely love indie horror games and platform games. she tends to stream her playing them with venom. she's got a few hundred thousand followers on twitch just because her and venom’s reactions are hilarious. he likes saying hello to everyone in a very obnoxious way, but absolutely goes nuts when they see you in the chat. v and abby are connected, at the end of the day, and share that excitement for you. and obsession, of course.

✮ besides being unserious on social media, she works as a journalist for the daily globe, a newspaper in the heart of new york city. they tend to cover a lot of drama about spider-woman and her fights of the week. anderson is known for providing ratings regarding the fights.

✮ she's really awkward. venom is not a romancer of any sort but he does get obsessed. it leads to him having very interesting impulses. and abby's equally obsessed but is the only sane mind here. so she's gotta keep it under wraps when she sees you.

✮ she rides a motorcycle. beautiful thing that her dad left her, and she's always picking you up for dates on that thing. she'd been kind enough to already have an extra helmet for you. not that you'd need it seeing as venom had taken a liking to you and wouldn't allow you to get hurt in any way, but still. it was a nice sentiment.

✮ she and venom are very protective of you. it's interesting being with them seeing as its a her-him-them scenario. two of them, but its still abby overall. abby the host, abby the one with the last say, and venom who obeys.

✮ venom offers the ultimate of scary dog privileges. he'll snatch poor pigeons out of the sky at any frustration. and seeing how venom tends to be a reflection of abby's thoughts and feelings, its worth noting how embarrassed she gets when he expresses her frustration, disapproval, and worst of all, annoyance. anyone flirting with you in front of her never fails to make venom snap his jaws when they turn their backs. its a very common occurrence that abby has to keep him from biting people's heads off.

✮ they love chocolate. chocolate is the only thing that keeps venom satiated between actual meals — which are few and far in between considering the ethical dilemmas that come about. its not polite to eat people. but there are moments!

✮ if you give the okay, venom likes to attach himself to you, too. a brief hug is what its like, but he's cold, sticky, then gets warm as he adjusts to your body temperature. abby thinks its sweet, and as much as it weirded you out at first, you got used to venom on your shoulders. it doesn't go on for too long, just enough for you to know what it feels like for abby. she thinks its sweet that you care so much about it.

𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐰:

✮ both abby and venom love when abby uses their... abilities... to form a strap. abby can feel the way your cunt tightens around her and it drives her insane. no need to buy any!

✮ venom tends to always blurt out whatever sexual thought abby thinks about for too long, so she tries very hard not to think about you. of course she fails, and of course venom blurts it out anyway. happens mostly when you're wearing something with easy access.

✮ being loved by abby means being loved by a monster of sorts, and that means teeth, blood, scars. evidence of love left behind on your body — bites on your neck, nail marks on your back and thighs. abby unable to fully control herself, venom, and its claws, too, that she can't help but scratch you with. careful not to hurt you too bad, but venom would be there to heal you in the worst case scenario.

✮ gets so pussy drunk, it’s insane. laps at you for hours, begs for a little more each time. rubs her clit with one hand, fingers you with the other, tongue and lips never leaving your pussy and she’ll keep going just like that. could cum over and over again just from that.

✮ likes her hair being pulled, especially if its in a braid. only has her hair loose if it’s the end of the day. guide her by her hair, use it like a damn leash, she doesn’t care. will shake and moan from that alone.

✮ will grind against anything to get her off. your thigh, your hand, your pussy, your mouth — doesn't matter. get her desperate enough and she will!

✮ loves tying you up and who needs rope when you have venom? black sticky tendrils wrapped around your arms and legs, prying you open and abby controlling it all. makes sure to sit still or her grip will tighten!

✮ bites like hell. claws and scratches like hell. constantly holding herself back so she doesn't hurt anyone but she's needy. and if venom wants to eat you, parts of you, the whole of you — would you let them? abby and venom hungry for you only. begging for you only.

✮ sensory play will kill her. in a good way. enhanced hearing and vision now with venom so it definitely throws them off (in a good way!). take one or both away and she'll feel soooo good when you touch her. everything dialed to a hundred. goosebumps on her skin and your name on her lips.

✮ absolutely adores dirty talk. wants to hear any and everything you think about with her-them involved. loves knowing things. wants to think about it for the next few days since the marks will heal soon.

#do y'all see where im goin with this lmfao #ೃ⁀➷; ellierium writes #abby x you #abby smut #abby x reader #abby anderson #abby anderson x female reader #abby anderson smut #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson fanfic #abby anderson headcanons

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nyxxxatnite · 5 months ago

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Part 2 for poison??? Where he goes back to reader for another hook up but this time he needs to be close to her. Like legs wrapped around him and her hands in his hair while he practically latches himself onto you. Smut smut smut. He secretly really likes her but doesn’t want anyone to know yk keeping up with his asshole facade

antidote (poison pt2)

Plot: last time should have been the last time, just like he said. But when he comes crawling back, needier than ever you can’t help but come back pt.1

Pairings: asshole!Wally Clark x loner!fem!reader, alive!wally x alive!reader

warning(s): the obvious SMUT!, fluffy end, wally actually ends up being nice and in love? Characters are 18!!! Unprotected sex (WRAP IT), public sex!! Creampie!! Fucking POORLY written. NOT PROOFREAD

a/n: HI GUYS. okay so ik its been a minute 💀 im sorry i usually pump these out and get serious writers block but im TRYING. okay i also know you said to keep him an asshole but i NEEDED fluff!! Enjoy!

Finding yourself at the schools Friday night football game was NOT on your agenda, but you couldn’t help it. You felt drawn in and one of your newer friends BEGGED you to go with her so you did, reluctantly. The stands were PACKED with parents, siblings and other family members along with almost ALL of your classmates. Had football really been THIS popular?

you gave a low groan as you ducked and weaved through the crowd, trying not to get hit or bumped into. It wasn’t working out very well. Small sorry’s left your mouth as you finally wormed your way into your seat next to Julie, who was already teeming with energy.

“ i’m so excited. Monrovia has ALWAYS been a tougher team to beat, hopefully this year with Wally we can beat them. ”

At the mention of his name you tensed, you hadn’t seen or talked to him in what seemed like months (more so a week or two). A part of you, deep down ached for him, while the other part tried to keep you reasoned that he was the one that ended everything, he wanted nothing to do with you. And yet…somehow it felt like he still wanted you. None of the athletics (cheerleaders and football players) even stopped to say anything to you, or tease you about something so small. They just went on their merry way. Had he said something to them?

“ uh hello? Did you hear me? Wally’s looking at you! "

a small shake to your shoulders finally snapped you from your thoughts as your eyes moved to finally make eye contact with said football player. He was finally on the field after their introduction and was staring right at you from his huddle with his team. Once the both of you made eye contact he quickly looked away and popped his helmet on.

you shook your head, blinking yourself back to reality. What was his deal? The buzzers from the score board sounded, commencing the start of the first quarter of the game. The crowd around you buzzed to life in cheers as the boys got into formation after the coin toss, cementing that Monrovia would be starting with the ball. The first kick off was a strong one, sending the ball soaring to the back of the split river formation.

and like that the game set off into a very close, neck to neck game. One team would score and then the other would quickly swoop in and tie with their own touchdown. Everyone around you was on edge, Julie was screaming chants with the student section, making fun of the team and the other student section. You just sat quiet and cheered quietly when your team would score, trying not to burn in embarrassment. But slowly got into the energy of it all, starting to cheer in the last quarter of the game.

within the last few seconds of the game you shot up from your seat, cupping your hands around your mouth as you shouted.

“ GET THAT BALL TO THE END ZONE, WALLY! ”

His attention turned to you for only a second before something inside him amped up, making him sprint and dodge around the other team a bit faster. within the last second his feet finally landed in the end zone, signifying that they had scored the winning points and FINALLY got their hands on the win over Monrovia after years of losing. Loud screams and cheers erupted from the stands around you, the band immediately kicked in with their anthem as the team on the field flocked the quarter back in the end zone.

loud whoops and chants sounded from the boys as they hopped and shook with Wally in their arms, the other team standing dejectedly to the side, feeling the stab of loss from years of winning. You cheered loudly with your classmates, laughing happily as your friend latched onto you.

“ its like he HEARD you! You’re a fucking lucky charm! ”

she squealed happily and shook you, excitement bubbling from her as she darted off to some of her other friends to talk to them. Your attention finally turned back to the football team, seeing the ever happy Wally grinning and congratulating his teammates. His eyes then turned to you, a smirk playing at his lips as he sent you a wink. Butterflies seemed to spring from nowhere in your stomach at the motion, turning to look and see if he was sending it to anyone else, but no one else was paying any attention to the team. You looked back at him again and watched him mouth “stay after”, seeming to mean after the stadium cleared out.

After about an hour of waiting, almost everyone was cleared out of the stadium, lights beginning to shut off. You slowly started to lose hope he’d actually come talk to you, or even if he was still there. You carefully tossed your hood up as it started to drizzle, then pour. You sighed and turned, starting to walk toward the gates when a loud whistle echoed from the dressing rooms. Your head snapped to the source, seeing Wally walk out of the building. He was in his after game attire, hair in messy curls atop his head from the sweat and rain finally hitting his head.

you paused and crossed your arms, trying to keep up your “i hate you” mindset. But seeing him there after weeks made your knees feel like jello. What the fuck was going on in your head?! You tilted your head and watched as he got closer, making you step back

“ didn’t think you’d come to a game. But then i saw you in the stands, dressed in the schools colors with MY number of all numbers painted on your cheek. ”

you scoffed as he finally stopped before you, rolling your eyes as you looked away from him. She painted his number on your cheek? Did she know about you two hooking up or was this one of her dumb “he’s cute” things.

“ yeah, i didn’t paint this on, Julie did. Like hell id risk getting made fun of just to wear your number, Clark. "

He hissed in fake pain as you snapped at him, scrunching his face a bit to add to it. He chuckled and without a word tugged you close but your waist. You gasped in surprise as your chest collided with his, feeling the clothing start to get soaked from the heavy rain. What the hell was he doing?

“ you should wear it more often. Fuck all the time actually. Look..i was a fucking dumbass for pushing you away. Not being able to be near you drove me mad and made me realize some shit that i didn’t want to face. ”

your eyes widened as you realized he was about to confess his feelings. Were you even ready for that? Before he could even say another word you pushed yourself up and kissed him roughly, cupping the back of his head as you tried to keep him from saying anything. A small grunt sounded from the other as he immediately held onto your waist, keeping you close to his body.

the kiss started heated and just continued to stay that way, tongues meshing together in the middle as hands wondered each others bodys. And with hands wandering, came clothes starting to be removed. Were you about to fuck on the football field? You couldn’t really care less, you just needed him now. Moving yourself down onto the soaking grass, you felt him moved between your legs and carefully slip a hand between the two of you.

a small gasp leaves your mouth as he rubs at your clit for a moment, letting you get adjusted and wet enough for him to slip his fingers into your soaking center. Your eyes rolled back a bit from the stretch of his long fingers. Thank fuck for this lanky man, being blessed EVERYWHERE. small moans slipped from your lips as he pumped and curled his fingers in and out of you. Getting you nice and stretched was something he’s never done so it was a nice little change, it made your heart flutter in an odd way?

after a few minutes of prepping you he pulled his fingers out and used whatever wetness he had to lube himself just enough to carefully slip into your awaiting cunt, his eyes rolling back at the hug of your walls. Another gasp came from your throat as he slid inside of you, your hands clambering to grip onto his back to have some sort of tether to earth. He grunted and held still for a second, kissing along your neck and throat, arms winding around your middle to keep you close to him.

As much as your mind was SCREAMING at you to get the hell off the ground, you felt like you were in heaven. Especially when he started to finally fuck his cock in and out of your hot cunt. Moans and groans intertwined from the two of you as you fucked on the football field, rain poured around the two of you, drowning out your sounds so only the two of you could hear. You made an attempt to open your eyes, only to be met with Wally already looking at you. You whimpered softly and drew your eyebrows together, keeping eye contact as you moaned louder. Watching his face morph with pleasure at your sounds, feeling his cock twitch deep inside of you.

He carefully reached between the two of you, rubbing at your clit as he continued to pound into you. The knot in your stomach starting to tighten, feeling it start to verge on snapping. Your eyes rolled back a bit as it all began to be too much for you to even handle.

“ thats it baby, cum for me. Fuck, please cum. ”

he groaned out and placed his forehead to yours, feeling himself near his end as well. With a few final snaps into you, he was releasing everything he had into your awaiting cunt. And once you felt his load fill you, you threw your head back into the ground and cried out as you came not to far behind him. He kept his hips rocking, just to ride out your highs before slowly pulling out of you. He pushed himself up a bit and panted, looking at the absolute mess you were below him making him give a breathy chuckle.

“ we should probably hit the showers, babe. Were an absolute mess. ”

you slowly nodded your head, the after sex high still buzzing in your brain. You let him do what he needed, meaning letting him carry your naked form into the locker rooms to wash the both of you off. It was absolute silence as you stood under the water, somehow more awkward than the times before. Was it because of what he was going to say?

after washing off, you held the towel you were offered tight to your body. Finally registering that your clothes were out on the field still, ruined by the rain and the mud. But it was like Wally read your mind, carefully pulling out some extra clothes he had stuff away in his locker. You tugged on the sweat pants and the hoodie he offered you, humming softly at the warmth of them. He tugged on his own pair of sweats and a tank top, slowly turning to you as he shrugged on his letterman.

“ look…i..fuck. Okay so..i really like you. And i know saying that doesn’t really make up for how i treated you, but it just happened. I realized it when we fucked in the supply closet. And i understand if you don’t feel the same, i just really wanted to tell you. ”

you threw your hand up and covered his mouth to keep him from sputtering on anymore than he was, watching his cheeks and ears go red from embarrassment. You gave a soft giggle as you stared up at him, tilting your head a bit.

“ i like you too dumbass. As much as i hate that i fell for you, i did. ”

he visibly relaxed and moved your hand, tugging you closer as he carefully kissed you. This time keeping it gentle, full of passion. You could really get used to this sweet side Wally had hid away.

#milo manheim #milo manheim smut #wally clark x reader smut #wally clark smut #wally clark x reader #wally clark #school spirits

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zarathelonewolf · 10 days ago

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I do not care. I do not care.

My fox cousins lost a mom today and I am so fucking upset about it.

I almost agree with what Mike Tyson said about people being too comfortable with the Internet nowadays because if they hurt someone they won't receive a reaction as painful as it would be in real life.

What the fuck do you mean she deserved to be harassed because she had autism and BPD.

What do you mean OTHER RESCUES bullied her for the way she handled rescuing some foxes from fox farms. She was on your same fucking side dammit!!!

What do you MEAN we can't have NICE THINGS FOR FUCKING ONCE.

I am outraged. This is not just a woman whose life was cut short by mental illness. The ableist and/or arrogant assholes who brought her to this final act are to be held accountable. I hope they are haunted by what they did for the rest of their lives.

Rest in peace Mikayla Raines. You were truly a wonderful soul. You are irreplaceable and will forever be missed. Your actions to rescue animals in danger will never be forgotten and will forever be cherished. May Save a Fox continue its journey and live on in your name❤️

Post Scriptum because I need to be less scared about speaking my mind on the Internet, aka EDIT:

I understand Mikayla may have made mistakes handling foxes/may not have managed to always keep all of them alive. At the same time, there were other rescues and veterinarians and people in general helping her, so what I mean to say is, the situation was clearly monitored. People weren't just letting her hoard animals or be negligent to them willy-nilly.

If there were concerns about her being in the wrong, instead of a fucking snark subreddit and empty criticism on social media, the State could have been warned. But I have seen around people discussing the possibility that fur farms have been involved in this smear campaign so the logic, or abscence of the very same, behind this criticism shebang towards her, seems to get more and more complex by the day. Unfortunately discussion on Reddit is dying down... Though I have read concerning things there. What the fuck KazeoLion...

There were issues with funding, that is something I remember. It was spoken of in the videos. There were also things that had to be done for the sake of the foxes and animals themselves, like registering as a fur farm (because that is the Law in the State, for the cases of people like her who cannot fully convert her facility into a rescue, and because it allowed her to get closer to fur farms and yes, pay them, but also force them into deals that would make them cease to operate in some cases). Also not releasing all foxes, because some were too domesticated or disabled or were illegal to release.

The only accusations I have seen which hold some water are those of her owning exotic pets, like Fawzi or pythons.

Still does not justify the death threats, the snark subreddit, and the fact that the Tumblr users who contributed to the snark subreddit and the misinfo shared on it need to be called out and they are instead trying to cover their asses. Acting like they never contributed at all which is... False. Because they did.

Do not approach things the same way they did however! I have been meaning to say this. No death threats.

This post started as a call out to Reddit snark and her irl friends, but since it's been getting "famous" (I really did not expect people to talk about this issue, but it seems I was wrong) and it's been found out that the snark was started/fed by someone here on Tumblr, the involvement this platform had should not be ignored, that is true. The "random Tumblr blogs" did have an impact. And I am tired of people saying it did not. But this, calling people out? That's what we should focus on.

Not bullying. No death threats. Do not stoop to their level. Do not become the same kind of scum they did. And please uplift your local animal rescues and support Mikayla's family. Focus on this, focus on helping things grow and progress again. If I am not mistaken Save a Fox still accepts donations. I cannot personally donate to anything, but I would like to encourage people to do so if they are able (also check the reblogs of Palestine gofundmes I have on my blog, they need support now more than ever!).

That's it, that's the edit.

Another EDIT BECAUSE I AM GETTING FUCKING PISSED:

STOP THE FUCKING TRANSPHOBIA. THEY WERE ASSHOLES. BEING ASSHOLES IS NOT INTRINSIC WITH BEING TRANS. IF YOU THINK IT IS YOU ARE FUCKING TRANSPHOBIC AND I HATE YOU.

#save a fox #mikayla raines #mental health #animals #harassment #stop harassing people

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inseobts · 17 days ago

Note

Hi! I loved that poly kid + law + luffy! May i request a part 2? If you dont want to or feel like there is nothing more to add then its okay to refuse! Remember to rest and drink rest <3

Three Boats, One Heart 2.0

law + kid + luffy x fem!reader (poly relantionship)

a/n: omg I didn't have much ideas and I think I did Law dirty so I'm sorry TT

words count: 3.1k

tags: fight, blood, fluff, captain trio x reader, poly-ish, jealousy, silly arguments, established relationship/s

masterlist || ao3 || ko-fi

Kid lies back on his mattress, his grip firm yet gentle on your hand. His knuckles are a mess, cuts, calluses, but you trail your finger along them anyway, slowly, quietly.

He tilts his head just a bit “…What are you doin’?” he asks quietly, reluctantly.

“Studying… a map.” You press a small kiss to his knuckle “A map of your hand, I know by heart.”

He lets out a shaky breath, something vulnerable, then tilts his face up just a bit “Go on then… I’m not waitin’ all day.”

You move up his hand, finger by finger, until you reach his wrist, placing another small kiss there. His grip falters just for a moment, then tightens.

“That’s nice, doll… but we got something comin’.” His jaw stiffens, his senses already reacting to danger.

The ship lurches, the metal structure moaning under pressure. A heavy thump resonates through the hull.

Kid drops your hand reluctantly and stands up, retrieving his metal arm and turning toward the helm “Stay here.”

“That’s not happening.” You grab your swords and stand up alongside him “You know I’m a pirate too, right? I can fight.”

He tightens his jaw “I know… but I ugh… just don't get hurt.”

“Don't worry.” The two of you rush toward the deck together, side by side.

The rain starts to pummel down, adding chaos to the battle. The thunderclap rolls across the skies as Kid summons his power, metal swirling in a magnetic tornado. The two of you fend off attackers, side by side, until the last of them falls.

When the thunder eases, Kid drops to his knees, a gash across his side. The rain washing away the blood. The crew lies injured. And you… you’re injured, too, a deep cut to your arm, but you’re alive.

Kid reaches up weakly, tugging you close “Doll… you… you got hurt…”

“I’m gonna survive it… don’t worry.”

The two of you stay there, in the rain, letting silence ease the chaos, just for a moment, before your world starts to feel heavy, a thick fog weighing down your senses.

The last thing you remember is rain, thunder, Kid’s grip, and then… blackness.

When you slowly come back to yourself, there’s warmth, softness, a mattress beneath you, and a strong antiseptic smell. The mattress feels a bit too comfortable for a ship, but then you realize you’re in the sick bay, Kid’s ship’s hospital room.

Your body feels weak, heavy, every movement a new rush of pain, but you manage to blink. Your eyes slowly clear, and you become aware of voices.

Three, in fact. Arguing. Loudly.

“That’s it! She’s mine to watch over, I was the first to bring her in!” Kid’s voice, gravelly with concern, nearly a growl.

“That’s ridiculous! I’m the captain, I care for my crew, especially her!” Luffy’s voice youthful, passionate and a little wild.

“That’s all well and fine, we're all Captains… but I’m the only one who's also a doctor.” Law’s voice calm, piercing, trying to cut through their bickering “So I say I’m in charge of her care right now.”

“That’s a convenient way to keep her to yourself, Trafalgar.” Kid crosses his arms with a metallic clunk.

“That’s not what I meant —”

“Damn, a girl is trying to sleep here, can’t you all shut up?” you croak, reluctantly, turning your head toward them.

The room falls into silence. All their eyes dart toward you... Kid’s piercing, Luffy’s glimmering with concern, and Law’s calm but worried.

In a rush, Kid drops down to your side, kneeling “Doll… you’re… you’re awake…”

Luffy climbs up on a nearby stool, bouncing a little “Are you okay?? Do you want food??”

Law crosses his arms “Before we do anything, I need to check your condition. Alone.”

“That’s not happening.” Kid stands up, reluctantly placing a protective hand on your arm.

“That’s a medical decision.” Law’s grip tightens on his hat “Kid… Luffy… please, I need space to do my job.”

The two start to bicker, arguing just over you, until you let out a shaky sigh “Enough… please, can you just let me be with… Law… alone… for a moment…”

The silence is heavy. Kid reluctantly lets his grip ease. Luffy drops down from his seat with a pout. Without another word, both slowly file out of the room.

The moment the door clicks closed, Law moves forward, retrieving his stethoscope. His normally impassive face shows traces of softness, a reflection of his concern, as he prepares to care for you in peace.

You let out a shaky sigh the moment the two left and the room fell silent...now it's just you and Law. The silence is a refuge, a chance to ease your mind.

He tilts his head, his piercing grey eyes linger on your face “Are you… feeling down?” he asks quietly.

You manage a weak smile “Aren’t you supposed to… check on me instead of… asking me that?”

He lets out a small, affectionate huff, nearly a laugh, before turning back toward you “I already did. Your pulse is strong. Your fever’s gone down. The cut’s healing nicely.”

“That’s a relief.”

He pulls up a small stool and drops down gracefully, resting his hands on his knees “Go ahead… say whatever’s on your mind.”

“How…?” you start quietly, “How did you and Luffy… know about… all this? How much I… was out… or… when you arrived?”

He glances down at his gloved hands, reluctantly “It was… all over the newspapers. The attack… Kid… the injuries… you.”

He lets out a heavy breath “Luffy and I rushed here as soon as we heard… We arrived just when you started to wake up.”

“That much I appreciate.”

He crosses his arms “And you… you’ve been unconscious for… nearly… 3 days.”

“That long?” you whisper “Kid’s…”

He tilts his hat forward just a bit “Kid’s doctor… did a good job. We owe him that. Without him… I’m not sure you would’ve made it.”

“That’s… a comforting thought.”

The silence hangs for a moment, heavy with things left unsaid “Did… you…” you start quietly, “…know… why… they were… arguing just now… the two idiots I mean?”

He stiffens briefly “It’s… Kid. He’s… blaming himself. That he… couldn’t protect you.”

He lets out a shaky breath “And you know Luffy… Luffy’s trying to make him see the reality. That you’re a fighter… just as much as we are… and sometimes… even the best ones lose.”

For a moment, you close your eyes, letting their words ease the pressure in your heart “Kid… I wish he’d… realize… I chose to be there… I chose to fight… I’m not someone he… failed… I’m someone he stands side by side with.”

Law’s grip on his knee tightens just briefly, then slowly eases, a silent vow to do whatever it takes to keep you safely by their side.

The silence in the sick bay feels heavy, thick with worries, regrets, things left unsaid.

“It’s… my fault, isn’t it…?” you whisper quietly, turning your face away from Law “I… I’m not strong enough… I’m not… I’m weak… I messed up… I let everyone down… I let Kid's crew get injured… I let Kid suffer…”

He stiffens, knuckles whitening “That’s not true.” His voice is firm, quietly passionate, a side you rarely see.

But you can’t hold back your tears. The dam breaks. Large drops trail down your cheeks, a shaky sob escaping your lips “I’m… I’m not strong enough… I… I’m a failure…”

The moment your crying starts, you hear a commotion outside, heavy boots, a rush toward the sick bay. The door swings inward showing Kid’s worried face and Luffy’s confused expression, both ready to rush to your side.

But before they can reach you, a shimmering circle forms in the air, a ROOM. In a flash, with a movement of his hand, Law teleports both back outside, closing the space in an instant. The two collide with a heavy thunk against the corridor wall, their voices fading in confused disbelief.

He lets out a small breath, then slowly stands up “Let it out… I’m here… you’re not weak… you’re not a failure… you fought… you chose to be there… you chose loyalty, and that… that’s strength…”

For a moment, you remain hunched forward, shaking with sobs, until something within you finds refuge. You slowly push yourself up from your mattress and step forward, closing the small distance between you and him.

He stiffens briefly, unsure, then lets you fold into his arms. His grip is firm, a refuge against the chaos outside. His gloved hand softly cradles your back as you let it all out, crying against his shoulder.

He holds you without judgment, without rush, until your tears ease and your shaky breaths calm. In his embrace, you feel safety, understanding, peace.

You slowly ease your grip on Law’s shirt, resting your forehead against his shoulder. His arm is still strong around you, his hand rubbing small circles on your back. The silence feels heavy, raw, but healing.

The moment is interrupted by a small click, the sick bay’s latch turning. The door slowly swings inward. Kid and Luffy stand there in the doorway, both freezing in place when they see you crying in Law’s arms.

Kid’s grip tightens on the metal rail. His knuckles whiten, not in rage, but in pure regret, understanding. All this time he’s been blaming himself for your injuries… without realizing you’ve been wrestling with that very blame, thinking you let him down instead.

Luffy, normally bouncing with energy, stands quietly, his expression more serious than you’ve ever seen it. His big, round eyes glimmer with understanding, with a maturity forged by countless battles, understanding that sometimes the greatest struggles are internal.

For a moment, nobody speaks. The only sound in the room is your shaky breaths slowly calming against Law’s shoulder.

Kid lets out a shaky sigh, a confession without words, and drops his gaze to the floor. His grip slowly eases, and his knuckles return to their normal color. Luffy crosses his arms, reluctantly, a silent vow to be there for you.

Law glances up briefly, then tilts his head just a bit, a small gesture, an affirmation that you’re not alone, that none of you are battling these doubts in isolation.

The silence stretches, heavy with understanding, until you slowly lift your face from Law’s shoulder. His shirt is damp with your tears. His grip eases just a bit, reluctantly letting you detach yourself.

You wipe at your eyes with shaky knuckles, letting out a small, nervous laugh “I’m… I’m sorry.”

All their eyes lock on you, a mixture of concern, guilt, affection, but you force yourself to continue “I’m sorry… for crying all over you, Law… for… for making you wet with my tears.”

Law stiffens briefly, his normally impassive expression faltering, then reluctantly lets his grip ease even more “I… I hadn’t even noticed.”

Turning toward Kid, you draw a shaky breath “And Kid… I’m sorry for making you feel… like it’s your fault… for putting this on your shoulders… I chose to be there… I chose to fight… I chose this… just as much as you did.”

He drops his gaze. His jaw trembles for a moment, then tightens. His grip on the metal rail eases just a bit, knuckles slowly turning back toward their normal color.

He nods, a small, barely perceptible acknowledgement that he hears you.

Lastly, you look toward Luffy “And Luffy… I’m sorry for making you worry… for causing you stress… I know you care… and I… I care about you, too.”

He tilts his head, eyebrows furrowing in disbelief “Sorry? …Sorry for what?”

He crosses his arms, puffs his cheeks, then lets them slowly deflate. His expression softens, growing sincere, as he speaks quietly but firmly “You did nothing wrong.”

He crosses the room in a few easy strides, then drops down to a crouch in front of you. His big, callused hand reaches forward, resting warmly on your knuckles “You fought… you chose to protect everyone… you chose to stand up with us. None of us here is mad, we’re not disappointed… we’re proud… proud you’re with us.”

He tilts his head, smiling warmly, a small, vulnerable side that few ever see, and then Kid lets out a shaky breath, turning his face away just a bit, adding quietly, “Yeah… what he said.”

The silence following their words is filled with something much greater than guilt, something forged by loyalty, understanding, and growing affection.

Luffy’s face glows with his brightest smile, bouncing a little on his toes, tugging a gold coin from his pocket “Heh! Now it’s time for the coin game to see who you’re gonna be with today!!”

He tilts his head “Heads for me! Tails for Kid! Oh, wait… or… for Law… or...”

Kid’s large hand dart forward and snatches the coin mid-flip “That’s stupid.” Kid crosses his arms “She should be with… a doctor now. So… Law.”

“That’s not fair!!” Luffy pouts, eyebrows furrowing “Aw man… then it’ll NEVER be my turn! First Kid… now Law… I’m always last.”

He drops his arms in dramatic unhappiness, kicking at the floor with his toes.

The silence stretches, heavy, until Law reluctantly stands up from his seat. His knuckles grip the rail of your hospital bed, a nervous tremble barely perceptible, then he speaks quietly, choosing his words carefully, “…She… can go with Luffy.”

“That’s…" you start, disbelief creeping into your voice “…that's it? You’re just… sending me away… without… without even asking me… what I want…?”

He stiffens, his grip faltering just a moment, then reluctantly tightens his knuckles “It’s… for your own good.”

“That’s a coward’s answer, Law.”

He drops his head, his hat casting a shadow over his piercing grey eyes but he doesn't speak.

“UGH!!” you say, a mixture of disbelief, frustration, and pure feeling.

He trembles, just a bit, then reluctantly lets go of the rail.

“Sometimes I hate that about you.” you say quietly, stepping forward, closing the small distance between you two.

He draws a shaky breath, reluctantly turning his face just a little, you can see his profile, the softness in his normally piercing expression, a moment that feels vulnerable “…sorry to let you down then.”

“… you know that's not what I meant.”

He drops his hands into his lap, reluctantly balling them into weak fists.

You say quietly “I care about you. I care about you, just the way you are. So please… sometimes… try putting yourself first… just a little.”

He falls silent, a moment heavy with understanding, his knuckles slowly ease. His grip falters, then drops away, his fingertips resting lightly against the rail.

You say quietly, a rush of nervousness battling with your growing resolve “I know you… I know you’re letting me go… because you think I need something… lighter… happier… something I can breathe in without… without all this weight.”

He reluctantly tilts his head just a little, just enough for you to see the glimmer in his eyes, the understanding, the affection, the care he cannot bring himself to put into words.

“But Law… if I'm with you too, then it means I want to be with you as well. So please… stop thinking so low of yourself… I don't have a preference… or I wouldn’t be in a poly relationship in the first place.”

He lets silence speak in his place, choosing not to interrupt, choosing instead to let you say whatever you need.

“That’s what I’m mad about.” you continue quietly, eyebrows furrowing “You… you think you know what’s best for me… but you forget I choose all this, too. I can carry the heavy things… alongside you. So… please… trust me. Let me choose you, too… sometimes… and you should choose yourself, too.”

He drops his gaze, reluctantly turning back toward the rail, knuckles resting against it. His grip slowly eases “…I… I’m sorry.”

“I don't need you to be sorry. That’s not enough.” you say quietly, yet firm “Sometimes you should try putting yourself first… or at least consider… that I’d want to be with you.”

He falls silent, the moment thickening, until you move forward, without looking back, and grab Luffy’s hand “I’m going with Luffy.”

He blinks in surprise, then his face glows with happiness “Heh! Okay! Let’s go!! Chopper’s waiting for us! We’re gonna be fine together, I’m sure!!”

Before you reach the doorway, you pause. Without turning, you say quietly, “Kid… bye… I'll see you soon. Don't worry, okay? And thank you for taking care of me.”

He lets out a shaky “Mm” in response, a vow that there will be a “next time”.

And then… you say quietly, “Sometimes… you should try putting yourself first… Law.”

The silence thickens. His grip falters briefly on the rail, knuckles turning white, then slowly easing, a sign, that your words might slowly be piercing his defenses.

And just for a moment, you wish you could ease his worries… just by staying.

Luffy slows down, turning to face you just as you’re about to reach the Sunny. His big, dark eyes glimmer with concern “Are you sure you don’t want to go with Law? That fight was… intense.”

You let out a small, sad smile, shaking your head softly “No… I think it’s actually better for him to be alone now… to think about what I told him.”

He nods quietly, then you start walking again side by side. The waves lap against the hull, the ship slowly bobbing up and down. Luffy drops back a step “I… I don’t think Law meant anything bad by saying you should be with me now.”

“I know.” you say quietly, tugging your arm against your side to ease the growing pressure in your heart “But after seeing me cry… he thought I needed someone to laugh with… and for him, that someone can only be you.”

He tilts his head in that pure, child-like way “…but… I laugh with Law, too, right? …He makes me laugh… just as Kid does.”

He blinks a few times, confused “…then…?”

“That’s it, Luffy.” you say quietly, reluctantly letting the words form “I love him just as I love you… and just as I love Kid.”

You continue softly “He knows that… but somehow… he still can’t put himself first. Look at every time you and Kid fight or argue for me… he’s always the one stepping back. And I know… that's his way… but I think he does it because he thinks he doesn’t deserve to be with me… or something like that.”

“UGH, he’s complicated.” you say, exasperated, tugging a lock of your own hair.

Luffy falls silent for a moment. His expression slowly glows with understanding, and then he smiles warmly at you “But you love him too.”

It’s not a question, it’s a fact, and you feel your pulse rush “…yeah.” you answer quietly “…a lot more than he thinks.”

Luffy reaches forward and briefly squeezes your hand, a comforting, wordless affirmation, before turning back toward the Sunny, a new spark of happiness creeping into his step.

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zozo-01 · 3 days ago

Text

"humanity will never lose hope (but you're not that human anymore, are you?)"

Or: Finding out that you lover never changes, no matter which world you stand on in 12.4k words.

Oh my God, of course my first full fic in a year is over ten thousand words. Oh well, I love Phainon and I love Kevin, so that this as my love letter to both of my favourite Hoyo men.

Shout out to @baeshijima who I've been torturing with snippets for the last few months and @horrorscoupes and @gingerbreadmonsters who I have also been sending snippets to, except they have no idea what's going on. (Join the dark side please I beg.)

CW: Angst, Hurt/Kind of Comfort, Bittersweet Endings, Alternate Timeline, Not Canon Compliant, kevin kaslana haunting the reader for the rest of over, phainon is so clueless and in love, Unrequited love, more two people using each other to fill the void, Mentions of Self-Harm, Suicidal Ideation, we love self-deprication!, Marriage, Thoughts of Motherhood, Kevin's reader uses she/her pronouns, Phainon's reader uses they/them pronouns, Amphoreus has me aching for more, reader is the PE's Herrscher of the End, she Kiana'd the Herrscher and that's how she's still alive, Writing this before the ending of amphoreus so I could be very very right, or very very wrong

click here for the ao3 link!!!

It was just your luck that the lance that struck you out of the sky had separated you from your companions. Seriously, doesn't this planet know that it's common courtesy to radio in before you deem the flying object as a threat? This was not a good look for Amphoreus, and you shiver to think about how the rest of your trip will go.

For once, you would appreciate it if the Express could take a nice vacation by the beach. Or in a metropolitan area. Literally, anything that doesn't have to include saving or dooming the world you're standing on. You'd like to think that you've had enough world-altering missions for a lifetime.

Stumbling out of the rubble of the train car, you take in your surroundings. Perhaps back in its heyday, Amphoreus must have been a gorgeous place, with marble statues littered across the land of the heroes that have long protected their home. It reminded you of the Ancient Greek ruins that you were obsessed with. It's strange, to see familiar sights on every planet you visited, yet being so far from home. You wonder if those ancient ruins survived the destruction you brought on.

(The Honkai never left behind survivors. Even those who lived to tell the tale had their souls ripped from them. You were no exception, but that didn't mean that you wouldn't take back what was rightfully yours. Your journey to heal from your past felt like a glacier. You hope that your current comrades— no, friends, could help you move on from your past.)

You wander around the temple, not sure of what to do next. Worry filled you for your companions, not because they weren't capable, but because of the collective stupidity that seemed to arise whenever young members of the train were trailblazing. In theory, March being back at the train and Dan Heng's rational self should be enough to keep them safe, but Stelle has become such a wildcard, you don't put anything past her. She and her bat were capable of putting the entire world at risk. You were surprised that no one had come up to you to arrest you because of something she did.

At the end of the day, those two were your companions and it was best to put your trust in them. You just hope that they don't do anything stupid without you knowing. At least with you there, there would be an adult to make sound decisions. You chuckle to yourself, wondering when during your life you of all people decided to become the responsible one.

To be honest, you always felt odd about considering the younger Express members as peers. Because yes, you seem roughly the same age, with your youthful looks and durable limbs, always eager to seek out the next challenge. But if anyone looked into your eyes, really looked into your soul, they could see that time has ravaged you in ways no mortal should have gone through. Fifty thousand years is a long life to live for anyone, let alone a human. Yet you spent that time in isolation, your only company being the monster you swore you'd never become.

(You had only two reasons to endure. Your love for humanity and your love for him. The world survived, no thanks to you. He wasn't as lucky.)

Enough pondering, there were more pressing matters that you needed to take care of. Like finding Stelle and Dan Heng and figuring out how the hell to get out of here without causing too much trouble.

You were careful to walk through the ruins of the land, flinching at the crumbling stone surrounding you. The lack of light didn't help either in finding out where to go. You were hoping that eventually, there would be some ruckus– loud whining from Stelle or maybe Dan Heng's dragon guiding you to the rest of your team. Unfortunately, no such sights or sounds have reached your senses. Or maybe it is fortunate that no chaos started. Yet.

Part of you wanted to use your powers to just fly up and track Dan Heng and Stelle. It would be so easy and would waste unnecessary time. Time that you could be spending on figuring out what the hell was the deal with Amphoreus and how to contact the Astral Express. You can almost hear Welt reminding you why that's a bad idea, not that you don't disagree with him.

"We don't know what effect your Herrscher powers could have in this place and it looks like this universe doesn't even know what the Honkai is. We don't want to start another eruption."

You sigh. What a shame. All the power in the world and you're relegated to using some watered-down version of it in the form of Aeons and their paths. You wouldn't have had it any other way.

Absolutely would you never dare to use your true powers in this relatively peaceful universe. There is lingering fear left in you over the events of your rebirth. You wish you could say that you didn't remember anything, that the evil sealed within you had granted you the mercy of losing consciousness when they took control. But destiny did not care that you didn't choose this fate, it punished you all the same.

The bodies of your friends, dare you call them family, carelessly slewed across the grey land. Hands that once held yours in dance with music in the air, could barely hold onto their weapons that they swore they'd use to save humanity. One by one, they fell like the brightest shooting stars until a garden of corpses surrounded you and your beloved. He was covered in blood, of his own and his friends, with burning anguish in his glacier eyes. You remember teasing him that red was never his colour.

The ring on your finger was a cold reminder of his warmth. Your eyes tear up as the blue diamond reminds you of his eyes.

You strengthen your resolve and wipe your tears. Enough about the past! What's done is done and all you can do is prevent it from happening again. He's not here anymore and there's no use crying about it right now. You made a promise to his descendant that not only will you live, but you will live long enough until the Honkai has been properly defeated and that your powers will not be passed down to you in the next cycle.

(You'll do your crying when you're alone in bed, pretending that his arms are wrapped around you. Oh, how you would sacrifice planets to bring him back if only to see him one last time. Hopefully, should you be granted another chance, your reunion will be less bloody. One could argue that you aren't at your best when you have your lover's lance piercing through you.)

Why is it that being on Amphoreus is causing these memories to flood your brain again? Perhaps it is because this is the first time since you joined the Express that you have been left alone in your thoughts. Ever since your self-imposed imprisonment, you detested the silence, having been left alone with your thoughts for far too long. It's part of the reason why you loved Stelle's presence. Never a dull moment with her and it was enough for you to push down whatever feelings would bubble up.

Very rarely did you wish that you were more Herrscher than human if only to get rid of those pesky feelings that leave you gasping for air. Disgusting.

Maybe the quiet is doing you some good, giving you the time and space to properly process your emotions instead of dismissing them for later. You let yourself indulge in the good memories, reminding yourself that your past wasn't entirely doom and gloom. That's what made the tragedies of your life all the more painful. The sleepovers you had with Elysia, the pointless yet invigorating debates with Su and the wheat fields you and Kevin would walk down as children.

(Wait a minute, you never knew Kevin as a kid. You had met him shortly after he joined Fire MOTH. And even so, both of you grew up in metropolitan areas with no farmland in sight.)

(These weren't your memories, so who did they belong to?)

Before you can think too hard over the maybe false memories, you hear the screams of children coming from the ruins ahead of you. Without thinking you rush ahead, your heroic instincts taking over.

You turn the corner and find a young boy and a young girl, with the boy standing in between her and the stone monster. He raised his flimsy sword to try and fight the monster off, with fear and resignation in his eyes. You knew that look all too well. Even if he doesn't make it out of here, he can make sure that this little girl can get to safety. Fat chance kid, there will be no more dying kids on your watch.

"Hey!" you yell at the stone creature to catch its attention. Thankfully, it was enough to take its attention off the kids and onto you. You don't feel any fear as it hulks over, its loud footsteps and towering figure doing nothing more than making you chuckle. Silly, silly monster. Didn't it know that it sealed its face by facing something more terrifying than itself?

You didn't think twice before throwing your sword towards it, following the sword to make sure it landed on its target. You use the handle of your weapon as a pushing-off point for a backflip, making sure its blade sinks as deep as it can into the monster. The monster crumbles back into the ground as you approach the two children, kneeling down to make yourself less threatening.

"You kids alright?" you ask, eyes tracking their faces for any visible injuries. Luckily the children didn't suffer any severe injuries, the worst only being what you assume are going to be sore limbs from all the running they did today. Their nods of agreement quelled any lingering worry that you had. You add another mental note about the things you learned about Amphoreus so that you can somewhat communicate with the locals.

But before you can ask them why they were out here alone, the statues that you didn't notice earlier crumbled their hard shells to reveal the monsters within them. Now you're surrounded by five statue monsters and with two children to look after. On the bright side, these two might be easier to take care of than your fellow Trailblazers.

"I don't have time for this," you mumble to yourself, pushing the children behind you. It was just your luck that you had to face off against enemies in this world, with no knowledge of what you were going up against and with no backup. (No, the little boy and his poor excuse of a sword do not count as backup in your books.) It mattered little though, you have gone up against the worst in the past and you will continue to encounter worse in the future.

More and more statues stalk closer towards you, with their clunky movements causing the children to quiver in fear, mumbling something about Nikador's wrath, whatever that meant. Part of you was considering using your natural powers to make quick work of the statues, already annoyed that you've wasted enough time here. Sure there are consequences if you accidentally triggered an eruption, but those can be dealt with later.

With a snap of your fingers, portals opened around you, orange in colour and slicing their way into this universe. Out came a lance for each creature and in a blink of an eye they crumbled before you, turning back into the stone they came from. That was one problem done thankfully, and if all of Amphoreus' enemies were that easy to deal with, then you should have no problem traversing the rest of the planet, if you could even consider it a planet. You just hope that you won't have to use any more of your powers.

You turn around to make sure the children you are protecting are okay, but instead of fear, you are met with excited expressions, like they hadn't almost died from a falling rock. The young girl started jumping and dancing around, while the boy pumped his fist in the air.

"That was so cool! The way you summon those flying lances and beat those titankins. You have to be a Chrysos heir– no a Demigod! Just like the ones mom used to tell us about!" The child went on about Titans and prophecies that you couldn't wrap your head around entirely. This is not what you meant when you had wanted a crash course on Amphoreus history.

"I'm… not a Chrysos Heir, just someone trying to find her way through this area." You didn't want to break this kid's delusion, but it would be better than trying to lie your way and break his heart later on.

(Come to think of it, why didn't they immediately single you out as someone beyond the stars? You clearly don't look or sound like you belong here, but these children were willing to believe that you were one of them. You were about to introduce yourself as a Trailblazer, but something told you that it would land you into major trouble later on. Besides, do these people even know of the Trailblaze? Let's not confuse them anymore.)

"Oh," the boy visibly deflated, but immediately perked back up. "But that doesn't matter, thank you for saving us!" The young boy and girl launched themselves at you to give you a hug. You didn't know what to do except give them an awkward pat on the back. Still, they endeared you enough to earn a small smile on your face.

"It's not a big deal," you said as you kneeled down. "As long as you two are safe, then that's all that matters. Where are your parents though?" You wonder what parents would be neglectful enough to leave their children in a monster-infested area in this eternally dark place.

You regret asking that question so casually though, as the young girl's eyes tear up and she lets out small sniffles. She puts her hand over her mouth to quiet herself, but it doesn't do much to muffle her cries. The boy on the other hand looked away to the distance and bit his lips, trying to keep it from quivering. You commend his attempt to put on a strong front in front of his sister, but you could see right through his facade.

"Our parents were killed by the Black Tide while we were trying to escape to Okhema," the young boy murmured, almost like if he said it quietly enough, he could somehow will them back to existence. It's a hope that you had before.

You didn't know how to comfort them. Even before your exile, your military upbringing always made it difficult for you to comfort civilians. In your line of work, where death is so common it could be counted as a part of your squadron, all you could do was bury your feelings along with your comrade and pray that you won't have to bring home another corpse. And that was the best-case scenario, better than having to look into their infected eyes and do the honours for yourself.

(Elysia was always good at comforting people, and you miss having her presence to take over in situations like this. Even Kevin's awkward fumbling when it came to this was charming enough to make people laugh and make them feel better. Not you though. No one wants comfort from a monster.)

You shake your head. You're not a monster anymore and these kids need more comfort than you need pity.

"I'm sorry for your loss, but we have to keep going." You wipe the tears falling from their faces, letting them put the full weight of their heads into your hands. With a softer voice, you continue. "I know it's hard, but it's not safe here. We'll go to Okhema and figure out the rest there, okay?"

They nod their heads and you can see the resolve building itself in their eyes. The boy picked up his sword and raised it in the air with a triumphant cry.

"Yeah! We'll get to Okhema and make the Black Tide pay for taking our home!" he loudly declared. Without waiting for you or his sister, he strutted away in what you hope is in the direction of Okhema. Not that you would stand a better chance if they relied on you on where to go.

"I'm sorry about my brother," the girl sighed. "Once he gets something in his head, he doesn't stop until he makes it come true." This sounds like an issue she's been long aware of.

"It's okay," you say as you stand up with a smile. You hold your hand out to her for her to hold, and once she does, you both take off to follow the brother. "As long as you stand by his side, you two will be able to do anything."

"That's right!" she hollered out, jumping in place before holding onto your hand. Their bond endeared you, your heart always warming when you see family stick together. You wonder about your own family back home, before you were thrown into Fire MOTH. They had long since passed due to the Honkai, slightly your fault. But your new family, the Flame-Chasers, had effortlessly taken their place. For longer than some of these planets have been around when you think of family, you think of the twelve shining soldiers standing in front of you. Ready were they to die for humanity, and you wished you were given the blessing to join them. Not yet though, you still have old debts to pay and retribution to collect.

Taking these kids to Okhma has given you two things. The first was company to stop you from slipping into your thoughts and musings. With how loud and talkative they were, there wasn't a silent moment left for you to fill.

The second was some of the answers to the questions you have about this world.

The most important thing you learn is the names of the two children you saved. The young boy introduced himself and Aris and his younger sister as Pallas. Both hailed from the distant lands of Castrum Kremnos but never got to visit their homeland, as it had been infected by the Black Tide many years ago. Their ancestors had moved the Janusopolis, which was deemed safer due to the protection of the Titan, Janus. However, even that mighty city fell, as you were walking on her ruins today.

They mention the Black Tide, an evil that apparently has been taking over the entirety of this world. Apparently, it infects every living thing it touches, turning its lifeforms into dark and twisted versions of themselves, hellbent on consuming and destroying everything in its path. Supposedly it has no master, acting with no drive except the sole desire of annihilation. (If there was a camera nearby, you would have stared into it, asking the audience if they thought this was funny to them.)

They spoke of the twelve Titans that ruled over Amphoreus, the miracles they brought on and the devout worship from its peoples. As Children of Castrum Kremnos, both Aris and Pallas worshiped the Strife Titan, Nikador. Aris especially was excited to tell their tales of war and battle and of honour and sacrifice. Pallas had to be the one to solemnly let you know that the Titan had been infected by the Black Tide in their eternal battle with it. Now all that remains is a mindless beast that attacks anything living.

Finally, they explained the Chrysos Heirs and Demigods, the thing they accused you of being. Apparently, there was a prophecy that there would be twelve Chrysos Heirs, beings of golden blood, who would assume the authority of the Titans and lead this nation to an era of eternal peace.

The more and more they told you about the world that you crash-landed on, the more uncomfortable you were over how eerily similar your life was to this universe's destiny. You knew that parallel universes meant parallel timelines, and that your story would be remixed across dimensions. You remember how Acheron reacted to your presence and your solemn sigh when you found out that you didn't survive in her story either. But you're one crazy coincidence away from grabbing your Trailblazers and nopeing the fuck out of this planet. You do not need to be traumatized– or you suppose retraumatized.

(You come to the realization that in every universe, within every timeline, you do not get a happy ending. Your only regret is that it seems like you keep on dragging your lover into your doomed destiny. Misery does indeed love company.)

On the bright side, Aris and Pallas did answer some of your questions. That still didn't solve the issue of your missing companions. You only hope that they haven't gotten into any trouble.

The marble gates on Okhema greet you and your mini companions, and relief courses through your veins because finally, something is going right. Aris even ran ahead in excitement, ready to take on his new home. But he didn't see the falling stone in his peripheral vision, his tunnel vision set on the crumbling gate. Luckily you did, jumping into the air to slice to rock before it could fall on the poor boy.

Of course, just your luck. Trouble had to find you first.

You were skeptical that Okhema was considered a safe haven when all you could see were those same stone monsters that you saved the children from. Titankin, you remember Aris calling them that.

You push the two children behind you, eyes darting back and forth between the Titankin surrounding the three of you. You could see the guards past the hordes of statues, but you had a feeling that they wouldn't be able to get to you in time. No matter, you get cornered once, you get cornered a thousand times.

Through the gaps of the stone wall closing in on you, you can see what you assume are Okheman guards trying to fight off the Titankin. You were just about to summon more of your lances, but before you could, you and the children were surrounded by a wall of red crystal.

You couldn't see through the solid red crystal, but you could hear the sounds of the Titankin crumbling back into the stone they came from. There was the sound of a man grunting, but it was so soft that you assumed that he wasn't exerting too much effort like these stone statues were nothing to him.

(Jealousy bubbled in you. That would be you had your powers not come with destructive consequences.)

A moment later, there was silence. The three of you stayed still with bated breath, eager to discover the result of the battle. One crack appeared in the crystal, followed by another. You throw yourself over the children to prevent them from the shards of the crumbling wall falling around you.

You look up and in the distance stands the man who was responsible for this destruction.

Blond hair with red dyed tips, he had a tall stature with muscle and scars you could assume he only gained through constant battle. The fabric pooling around his lower body did nothing to hide the red markings on his chest, a warning for his enemies to stay away. But what captured you were his eyes. A deep red with a fire that you have only seen in one man, a very long time ago.

Kalpas…?

You dare not speak his name out loud, not wanting to make this more real than it already was.

But it seemed like you weren't the only one staring at a ghost.

A look of recognition? Of longing? Of fear? You couldn't tell because it disappeared just as quickly as it appeared. He only gave himself a split second of vulnerability before he reminded himself that he was a soldier and this was a battlefield. The only reunion either of you has time for is the one you will have with death. This was a sentiment you are all too familiar with.

"Lord Mydeimos!" Aris exclaimed. You trusted his judgement enough to give this man the barest amount of benefit of the doubt.

Mydeimos looked you up and down, taking note of your foreign clothing. His eyes singled out the golden ticket pendant you have, and you could only assume that he'd seen the ticket recently.

"Your comrades are on their way to Nikador at Marmoreal Palace," Mydeimos stated. You sighed with relief. Dan Heng and Stelle were alive and they had some sort of help with them. Still unnerved over the ghost standing in front of you, you looked back at the two kids standing behind you, your mind already set on your next steps.

"She can't fight Nikador! She's not an Heir," Pallas cried out, moving to stand in front of you. She was trying to stop you from what she believes is you throwing your life away. Her older brother joined her protest, saying how it would be better if Mydeimos went and fought Nikador himself.

"You'll look after the children?" you ask, but it is more of a command than a question. You made sure to reflect the light of the sun against your blade, making it visible and knowing what would happen to him if the children weren't safe.

He gave no response except for a quick nod, and that was enough for you, so long as he understood the consequences of his failure.

The children were in tears when you told them that you would go to Marmoreal Palace. They cry and plead for you to stay and have someone else deal with this, but you were never good at letting other people help you.

"I will be okay." You gave them a hug, trying to pour a little bit of relief into their bodies so they'd stop worrying. "Stay with Lord Mydeimos, he'll keep you safe," you ordered them both. You pull away from the hug and they nod, having learned that following your directions has kept them alive so far.

"This is not a goodbye. I will find you two again." This wasn't going to be another empty promise that you were going to break.

"You better come back to us!" Aris demanded, before running to hide behind the blond man, Pallas following closely behind him.

Before you could ask where the fuck Marmoreal Palace even was, a golden thread appeared out of nowhere, leading your eyes to a large building on the horizon. Well, that answered your question.

Mydeimos may have mentioned something about Aglaea guiding your way, but you didn't care to stay and listen. Immediately, you run off to follow the golden thread, hoping that you'll be able to get there in time to save their asses once again.

But even at your top speed, it still took you time to run over to the Palace. Time that you used to absorb the fact that you just saw Kalpas again. It was one thing for you or Kevin or Elysia had counterparts across the universe, but Kalpas? It meant that there was a chance that the rest of the Flame-Chasers were alive. That you would see him again, even if it's not the man you fell in love with.

It was one thing to hear Acheron's story. This is going to be a whole trainwreck that you weren't emotionally prepared enough to deal with. But then again, how do you prepare to see the friends that you carelessly murdered? Were you ready to face your sins, Destroyer?

You don't know which outcome you hope for more. That your past would just leave you alone and die just like your world did. Or that you would see your friends again, albeit in a completely different scenario. You would do anything to see Kevin, yes, but only if it's your Kevin. The boy who would hold all your shopping bags in one hand just so that he can keep one hand free to hold you. The man who held you to his chest to stop you from ending your life prematurely. Who held you in your final moments.

That's who you want, not some cheap imitation that could never reach your man. No offence to this world's Kevin.

You hear the grunts inside the palace before you see the mechanical creature surrounded by the fountain and the same golden thread that guided you here. To be honest, the Titan didn't seem that impressive. Sure it's massive, but size never equals power and you know that one slash from your greatsword would be enough to finish it off.

(History may remember the Judgment of Shamash as Kevin's weapon, but you and the sword knew who was its true owner. He was just keeping it warm, sharp and ready for your return.)

Your greatsword feels like home in your hands, and you revel in her power coursing through your veins.

("She's just as beautiful and destructive as you are." An amused voice spoke up, followed by strong arms wrapping around your waist. A mop of white hair tickled the skin on your neck. You wish you could bottle this moment and experience it for an eternity.)

You could see your two companions, as well as a white-haired knight fighting against the Titan. You knew what your next action should be.

Without a chance to hesitate about your own decision, you charge forward toward the Titan, flames blazing behind you. They gave you enough speed and strength to slice Nikador in half. You don't see their dismembered body, but the thud on the ground gives you the impression that you won the fight.

It was strange that they went down so easily, but your worried thoughts were cut off by your gray-haired chaos machine jumping into your arms.

"You're alive!" Stelle held you up in her arms, squeezing the Herrscher core out of you. You could feel your lungs collapsing in your chest with the strength of her hug. It was only when Dan Heng came over to pry your favourite baseball player off of you that you could finally breathe.

"It's good to see you too," you say with fondness. Things are always lively when you have your fellow Astral Express members around, and you know your mission on Amphoreus was just about to get more interesting. "I trust that you have been keeping out of trouble." The guilty look on Dan Heng's face and the nervous chuckle from Stelle made you sigh. You wouldn't have your idiots act any other way.

"Well, we had help," Dan Heng explained. "We were lucky to meet some of the locals before fighting the Titankin." You're grateful that they were able to have more guidance than you did. Not that you weren't thankful for Aris and Pallas. You should probably check on them sooner than later.

"Please! We did most of the work anyways." Stelled crossed her arms, a pout on her face. She pointed to someone or something behind you with an accusatory point. "The only thing Phainon did was steal my bat and break Cloud Piercer!"

You sigh, already knowing that Stelle added her usual dramatic flair to what has happened. You make a note to ask Dan Heng for a more accurate recount of events. This poor Phainon didn't have to catch her backhanded comments, especially if he was keeping them safe.

You turn around to thank this white knight, but you can't get the words out once you see his face.

Snow white hair. Piercing blue eyes. Even his clothes were a close replica of Kevin's. You almost didn't want him to speak, in fear that he also sounded like him. This was it, the one thing you feared. Knowing that there were alternate versions of your lover. A million lives that he can lead. A million heartbreaks waiting to happen.

It seems that this Kevin– Phainon had the same thoughts going through his head. But unlike you, his body couldn't hold the weight of his pain. He fell to his knees and it took everything in you to not hold him to your chest. The familiar words of comfort lay at the tips of your tongue, but they wouldn't be heard by the person who they were meant to, just a familiar stranger.

"Starlight..." his voice wobbled. Your soul left your body, leaving behind an aching heart at the sight of his watery eyes. Or maybe it was just your tears blurring your vision. Another memory you kept buried forced its way into your consciousness.

("Starlight, really?" You raise your eyebrows at the cheesy name. "Can't you be a little less romantic?")

(His laugh or the heavenly trumpets filled the air. He took a string from your hoodie (that you were borrowing from him) and kissed it, his old habits never leaving him. Kevin knew he was able to touch you, the sub-zero temperature not affecting you. But ever the gentleman, he did everything he could to keep you safe. Really, that should have been your job.)

("Your eyes sparkle under the stars, and you are the only light who is keeping me tethered to this world." He let go of the drawstring and pulled you in for a kiss. You put your hands around his neck and swayed in his arms, overwhelmed by the rare peace your snowstorm brought you.)

("You're making it harder to pull away from you," you mumble against his lips. You had to go to a briefing for a solo mission in an hour, but you weren't ignorant of the double meaning of your words. You knew he was too smart to let it go over his head. With every Herrscher that fell, you could feel the Honkai tightening its grip around your soul. Despite everything you could do to fight it, everyone knew it was only a matter of time before the Honkai took over and you reset the universe.)

(You had it drilled into your conscious that it would be better for you to die in some corner if only to buy this world some time.)

(He absolutely hated that sentiment, going borderline feral any time someone brought up that cursed plan. The one time that you had brought it up, you weren't allowed to leave his bed for a week, for fear that if he let you go, you would go to the void and he would have no choice but to follow you. You never want him dying on your behalf. Humanity needs its hero and you were not selfish enough to take that away from it.)

("So don't go," he growled, kissing you with more passion this time. He pulled you closer, chest firmly pressed up against yours. Even if he knew what was to come, you know that he would forsake any prophecy to keep you here.)

(This kiss was everything you wished you had time to tell each other. I love you. I want you. I miss you, even though you're standing in front of me. I'm scared. I don't know what's coming next. I wish things were different.)

(I love you. I love you. I love you.)

(For the longest time, you thought that this would be enough for you. That you could hold onto these memories to keep you warm.)

"Ms. (Y/N)..."

Dan Heng's voice snapped you out of your trip down memory lane. You didn't even realize the golden-haired lady appearing right in front of you.

You clear your throat and wipe the tears from your eyes. This was all getting too much for you, and you were desperate to break something to make you feel better. That didn't exclude you. But your team needed you to be on your best behaviour, even if it was just to have a steady leader to guide them through this mission.

"I'm fine, Dan Heng," you whispered to him. You knew he wasn't a fool to miss your shaky smile, but you were thankful that he had the tact to at least ask about it later.

"New allies of Okhema, welcome to Amphoreus." The golden-haired lady spoke up, her voice soothing your early stress and anxieties. It reminded you of how Aponia used to casually manipulate the Fire MOTH soldiers to stop harassing you, saying that it was only in her interest to have someone in power indebted to you. Looks like you were finally getting the chance to pay her back for everything she has done for you.

"While this welcome banquet is far from elegant, it has helped to remove any misgivings we had," she— Aglaea, continued. You side-eyed Dan Heng and Stelle, hoping that her doubts were due to her own skepticism and not any actions taken by the two. "From this moment forth, you shall be treated as distinguished guests of the holy city and the Chrysos heirs."

'Nice to be welcomed from the start,' you thought to yourself.

There is something odd about her beautiful eyes, seeming unfocused. They look like they were looking through you rather than at you. The whispers from two trailblazers behind you confirmed that they picked up on that fact too.

"Curious about my eyesight?" she asks, and you note her heightened perception. Typical of someone who is the alternate universe version of Aponia, and you make sure to tell the other two to keep your unflattering thoughts to yourself. Especially Stelle. Lord knows what's going to come out of her mouth.

She went on to explain how every Chrysos Heirs had an ability that was unique to each individual. How she doesn't rely on traditional sight to perceive the world around you. Perhaps it wasn't the exact same manipulation that Aponia was able to achieve, but it did make you feel wary of someone who can 'hear' conversation from across the city.

There was something else about her eyes that you noticed. They were seemingly dead, with no emotion in them. But they still looked at you with a sad longing— it made you feel sick to your stomach. Can these people stop looking at you with pity? Do they not know of the disaster that you would bring to them?

You tried to ignore the gaze Phainon was giving you, his icy eyes giving off heat that could only rival the sun.

"A manifestation of Nikador…" Phainon spoke up with disdain in his voice. You were so close to ripping his vocal cords out just to end your suffering. How dare he steal your lover's voice and force you to listen to it. An indignant and petty part of you hoped that he was suffering as much as you were. You had a feeling that he was. "Could it be that my trial has not arrived yet?" he asked, more to himself than to anyone else.

"By following the threads of fate, you have begun to write the opening chapter of your story. How do you feel?" Aglaea countered his question with her own.

"Truth be told, I don't feel any different," he answered. "I anticipated a greater challenge." You roll your eyes, of course, he would say that. Were all versions of Kevin so willing to take on the greatest challenge on their own?

You tune out the rest of their conversation, not really caring about the plans they had to counter the invasion.

What? The plan was a success and there were few casualties. Back in your world, this was seen as a blessing.

Besides, you need more time to process truly what the fuck is going on. You try not to, but you can't help but spare small glances towards Phainon. It aggravates you how truly and utterly similar he was to Kevin. He would always joke with you that it would always be you two in every universe, that his soul was tied to yours for eternity. Mei would pipe up with some smart and cynical comment about how technically every possibility exists under String Theory.

("Mei!" he whined, sending a glare to the poor girl. "I was trying to woo her!")

("You're such a dumbass," you said. It didn't stop you from smiling like a fool. "I'm already your partner, you don't need to woo me." You ruffle his hair and pinch his cheek. God, he was adorable— and he's yours. Just yours.)

("But I want to treat you right, starlight," he pouted, forehead resting on yours. "Want to be the man that is deserving of you." For him, you would relive every single awful and forced action the Honkai put you through for him.)

(Before you could say anything, a beach ball hit the back of your lover's head. He rubbed it and glared at the idiot who was dumb enough to ruin his moment with you.)

("You're a dead man Su!" he yelled, racing straight towards the scholar. You were scared that he was going to use his full might against the poor man. God. You love your man so fucking much.)

You scoffed, thanking the Lord that Welt wasn't on this mission. The old man would have suffered heart attack after heart attack for every new revelation.

Your amusement wasn't as quiet as you thought.

"Is something funny?" Aglaea asks, raising her eyebrow towards. Oh fuck, it would be so embarrassing if you were the one who started the trouble.

"It was nothing, my lady." You clear your throat. "My mind tends to wander." The smile Phainon gave you didn't go over your head. Even Aglaea shook her head in amusement.

"Distinguished guests, since you have spared no effort in aiding the holy city, I will naturally take care of you as well." How sweet of her— oh, like hell you're going to take her offer her at face value. But still, you could use a little R&R. "I've woven many unforeseen events into the tapestry of fate, this is but one instance." Always the wildcard, never the intended.

"Thank you for your hospitality, my lady." You bowed your head in appreciation. You glare at the other two the same way a mother would glare when her children forgot to thank someone. Thankfully you trained them well enough to pick up on your signal. You turn back to Aglaea. "Truly it was our pleasure to help out however we can."

"You can find me at Marmoreal Market after you've grown tired of listening to her tales," Phainon offers, but he hesitates to look you in your eyes. You didn't take any offence since you were struggling with the same thing. "In any case, I owe you my hospitality."

"We look forward to you treating us, Phainon." The softness in your voice wasn't intended, but it bled its way regardless of your best effort. "Just to warn you, this one will make a dent in your wealth if you treat us to food," you quip while pointing to Stelle, earning you a pinch and a pout from the baseballer.

He didn't say anything to respond, but he walked away with a wistful and painful smile on his face.

"Now then, where should we begin?" Aglaea said, and you don't miss the challenge in her voice.

After placing the Trailblaze Beacon down, Aglaea took you to the centre of Marmoreal Palace. You stand underneath the fountain listening to the spirit water tell the story of this land. Many of the details lined up with what Aris and Pallas had told you, but it filled in some of the gaps that they had left out. You hope that they have found a safe place for them to stay.

"The way up from here leads to a bath that the Council granted exclusively to the Chrysos Heirs," she explains as your group walks back to the waterfall. "I'm willing to make an exception, considering you're guests from beyond the sky…"

"But you have your traditions to maintain," you finish her thought with your arms crossed.

"Precisely," she confirms. Her eyes lingered on Stelle, clearly wanting her to go to the baths with her. But you think that she wouldn't do anything without your express permission.

"Go up with her Stelle, me and Dan Heng will wait down here for you." You didn't take your eyes off of Aglaea with a clear intention in your eyes. If anything happened to her, you would tear Amphoreus up with your own bare hands. You found yourself giving out more threats than you have in past missions. You couldn't help it, this world is designed to aggravate you to no end.

These people may have the skin of your family, but they were still unknown threats to you. Not that it mattered. You killed your friends once, and you could do it again.

(Yes, princess, the voices spoke up in your head. Return to your roots. Return to the purpose of your existence.)

"You have a considerate partner." She gestures to the elevator platform. "Follow me." You watch the two go up and away to the private baths.

Not even a second goes by when Dan Heng voices his concerns.

"Are you alright?" he hesitantly asks. "Ever since you saw Phainon, you've been more distracted, and don't think I didn't see the threat in your eyes that you've been giving everyone."

"It's complicated," you sigh. The truth was going to come out eventually. "Do you remember how me and Welt were taken aback when we met Acheron?" You turn to look at him as you wait for his answer.

"I do, Welt said that she was like someone you met on your world," he answers.

"That's right." You bite your lip trying to find the words to say your next thought. "Being on Amphoreus… It's like that but so much worse," you confessed. "The people you've met were people I deeply cared about back home." You shudder at your own vulnerability, but you trust Dan Heng more than you feel the pain when bringing back these memories. You opened your mouth to try and explain your weird relationship with Phainon, but you couldn't will your mind turn its thoughts into sound.

"I see…" You didn't expect him to know how to respond, but he ponders for a response anyway. "Do you think your past might give us some insight into this world?"

"If it does, then I know that this world was fucked before we even stepped foot here," you scoff. The dark thought of killing your alternate self on this world, just so that you could prove that this and any planet with you on it was better off dead.

Dan Heng puts a hand on your shoulder, and you smile at his awkward yet endearing attempt at comforting you. It kind of makes you wish March was here as well, her bubbly energy always giving you a sense of levity to any situation.

"I may not know your whole story, but me and Stelle will stand by you no matter what." If anyone knew what it was like to have a horrid past, it would be Dan Heng. The experience of being hated for something you never did was something you both shared, and it warms your heart that you have found people who will stand by your side no matter what. A luxury you weren't afforded often, but one you cherish all the same.

You nod your head with a smile, not trusting your voice to stop itself from breaking down into tears. It helps that Stelle was heading down to the two of you, another welcome distraction from the warring thoughts in your head.

Stelle starts to tell you what Aglaea had told her. Most of it was extra information added to the fairy tales that the children have told you. You had a feeling that this world was not aware of what lies beyond its firmament, but you didn't know it was something that was outright hidden from them. Whatever, their world, their rules. You have no intention to break them.

But one fact has surprised you, a pit falling in your stomach and your heart somehow aching more than it has been.

"This is Amphoreus' Flame-Chase journey — a band of heroes dedicated to slaying the gods and reclaiming the twelve Coreflames for the world to start over anew."

The Flame-Chasers haunt you wherever you go. Your past digging its claws into your flesh. Your eternal punishment for the sins you have committed. You wonder if this version of you has realized their destiny, the burden they must carry to the end.

"Hm, there's still a lot about this situation that we don't know." You cross your arms and look up to the private baths. "Why don't you two go and talk to some of the locals? Get a feel for the situation."

"And what will you do—" Dan Heng started to ask before Stelle cut him off.

"Oooooh, you're going to talk to Phainon! I saw the heart eyes you were giving him– Ow!" You're thankful that Dan Heng had the tact to elbow Stelle. You love her, but her mouth really had a way of getting into trouble.

"I want to check up on something." You hold both of their shoulders and plead with them. "Do not, under any circumstances, get into any trouble. I may not know Aglaea all that well, but she doesn't seem like the type to tolerate the slightest subordination." You shudder when you think of how Aponia would act when something didn't go her way.

"Don't you worry, I'll keep Dan Heng out of trouble!" Stelle yelled out before walking out of the baths. Dan Heng sighed and assured you that he would keep an eye on her, before following her.

You give yourself a second, trying to let your brain catch up with the last few hours or so. Your heart clenched and started beating erratically, panic and adrenaline flooding your system. This was getting too much for you to handle and you were one wrong encounter away from collapsing onto the floor in a catatonic state. But you couldn't give in to your fear, you have people depending on you. People who trust you to not let them down.

("Breathe, Starlight," he whispered into your ear. His cold arms kept you grounded amongst the field of corpses around you. "I got you, nothing is going to happen, I promise." He smiled and you almost believed him. But despite the heavens he tried to move and the hell he tried to raise, he was still mortal and you were his God. There was nothing he could do to change your fate.)

(Huh, there wasn't blood flowing from the corpses, but a weird orange energy. That wasn't exactly how you remembered how the battle went.)

You must have zoned out for quite a while because before you know it, you walk through the same streets you ran through to get to the battle. Despite the chaos that was occurring a couple of hours ago, everything seemed to go back to normal. The vendors went back to selling their produce, the lovers were walking through the streets with wistful smiles and the children were playing like they should.

"Ms. (Y/N)!" was the only warning you got before you almost collapsed under the two children you saved.

"I'm glad that you're ok!" you smile as you bend down to give your two kids a hug. Joy replaced the earlier panic, happy that there was something good that happened during your time here. "I trust that Lord Mydeimos took good care of you?"

Aris nodded while explaining how cool Lord Mydeimos – apparently he insists on just being called 'Mydei' – was, with his amazing strength and incredible knowledge on the battlefield. He tried, and failed, to recreate the fighting moves that Mydei used.

"He said that if I practice enough, I can be an even better warrior than him!"

"You still have quite a ways to go before you will reach Mydei's level."

Phainon's voice came out of nowhere, giving you a bit of a scare. He stood in front of the children, a smile on his face and hands on his hips. The children were happy to have another one of the Chrysos Heirs giving them attention. Phainon didn't seem to mind, laughing as the children took their turns treating him like a jungle gym.

You thought about having children, once upon a time. You'd crush those ideas before they could turn into something tangible, for fear that you would pass down your Herrscher curse to your children. Would this be what your life would be like if you weren't forced to bear the world's burden?

"Aris! Pallas! It's time for dinner!" You look up to see an old woman calling out to the children. Thank goodness the children had someone in Okhema to take care of them. You weren't ready to become an impromptu mother to two kids, especially with your grown children to take care of.

"Coming Grandma!" the kids respond, but they don't leave without almost knocking you over again with another hug. You make them promise again to stay out of trouble, and that you will always be there for them if they call out your name.

"Those kids seem to like you." Phainon took his place next to you, eyes scanning Marmoreal Palace for any trouble that he may need to help with. He didn't look at you, and you don't think you have the heart to look at him.

"Oh you know, save a child's life and they feel indebted to you for eternity," you chuckle, trying to relieve your nerves and the awkward tension in the air.

Neither of you know what to say. You could see Phainon opening and closing his mouth, trying to find the right words to say. Your own brain started to hurt with the amount of thinking you were doing, wanting to gather the answers you needed while protecting your own heart. There was only one way for this to end and that was in shared vulnerability. But you don't think you have it in you to be vulnerable in front of another man, even if he looks and sounds eerily like your dearly departed.

Luckily, Phainon was willing to bite the first bullet.

"Your ring is beautiful," he spoke up, eyes focusing on the blue gem around your neck. You instinctively hold it in your hand, finding relief in its biting cold. "The man who must have given it to you must have cared about you dearly."

"He did…" you trail off with a smile, letting yourself revel in the good memories without letting the bad ones taint what you have left of him. The cold from the gold brought you more comfort than you care to admit.

"If you don't mind me asking– and of course if you don't want to answer I completely understand–" Phainon goes on a tangent about not wanting to make you uncomfortable but that he was really curious. About what, he hasn't even told you yet. You put a hand on his shoulder, slowly and with hesitation, giving him enough time to pull away if he pleases to do so.

"It's alright, Phainon, just ask me what you wish to know," you reassure him with a smile.

"Were you married to someone back home?" His hands started fidgeting with his own ring finger like he was missing something there. (It just so happens that the ring you hold was an exact match for the one he was going to give his partner.)

It's the question many people ask you when they see the ring. Who's the lucky guy who captured your heart, many would ask. You'd always counter that you were the lucky one for having Kevin choose you. He was and forever will be the greatest thing that has happened to you, and you will carry that with you wherever you go. You may not have had the wedding of your dreams, but you were his. In sickness and health, till death do you part and a little bit beyond that. You don't need a legally signed paper to tell you what your soul already knows.

("Things are getting out of hand out there," he said as he knelt down to one knee. "I may not be able to give you everything that you deserve, but let me give you this one thing." He pulled the ring out of his pocket and your eyes started to blur with tears. "My heart, my love and my soul will forever belong to you. No matter where life takes you, I want you to remember that I will always be with you as long as you wear this ring." Ice started to form on his cheeks.)

("So, Starlight, my sun on a cold winter day, will you do the honours of marrying me? In this life or the next?)

(You never answered a question more quickly in your life.)

"That's hard to explain." How else can you explain that not even the day after, your closest friend and confidant revealed that she was also a Herrscher and that she sacrificed herself for future generations. How you lost your mind and became a force of destruction, ending all life in sight. That it took the combined power of all the living Flame-Chasers just to seal you away. That you spent the last fifty thousand years in exile only to be released with the death of your lover.

Phainon has a bright heart, and it reminded you of Kevin's before the responsibilities as the Deliverance took its full toll on him. Who were you to reveal him to the true horrors of his fate before he was ready? So you tell him a sanitized version until he is ready to hear your whole story. Until you're able to recount your life as objectively as possible, without driving yourself mad with what-ifs.

"We didn't know how much time we had left, so he proposed to me with hopes that we'll get married once the threat to our world was over." A bitter side of you wished to demand more time, and you've come to just appreciate the time that you had. You continue with your story, "he was right. The day after the proposal, our entire world fell apart." You don't add the fact that you were to blame for its destruction.

If the Amphoreus version of you will play the same role that you did, then you wish to preserve their image in Phainon's mind for a little bit longer.

"My apologies, I didn't mean to bring up such awful memories." Phainon was so chivalrous, it made you want to shake him by the shoulders and tell him that it's okay if he doesn't appear heroic for two seconds. He better learn this lesson before he burns himself out.

"The thing is that in between the awful memories – and trust me, there were some shit times – there are memories that I will cherish until I die." Your first birthday party after the eruption you caused, the night Kevin confessed his feelings for you, the brief hope you had when you thought your powers were under your control. These are the memories that shine through the despair you felt. And now with the Astral Express, you can create new memories that will drown out the darkness that you carry.

"You learn how to continue to live despite everything," you smile softly as you turn to look at him. Phainon's eyes were wide and hanging off of every word that you were saying. Maybe to him, the words you were saying were the Gospel he would hold close to his heart, letting them imprint themselves onto his soul. Or maybe, he was blurring the lines between you and someone else.

"Even when it hurts?" His voice stuttered, more broken than what you expected. His heart had already gone through unimaginable pain, you fear. Your instincts kicked in, wanting to shield him away from the world that had nothing but cruel plans for him.

You couldn't protect your Kevin, but you could at the very least protect Phainon.

(It's too late, for his fate was sealed thirty-three million, five hundred and fifty thousand, three hundred and thirty-six cycles ago. But with you here now, perhaps you can create enough disruption to end his suffering. You of all people should know what it's like to be locked away. You would do anything to prevent another from suffering the same fate.)

"You have people that rely on you, Phainon," you remind him. "For people like– for you, there is no break from your fate, as unfair as that sounds."

His shoulders slump and his lips start to pout. Clearly, this wasn't the answer that he wanted to hear, but you wouldn't want to lull him in a false sense of security.

You continue to look at him, trying to see past the ghosts that haunt you. For all the similarities Phainon and Kevin share, there were some differences. Kevin carried himself with calculated confidence, always trying to seem like he was in control. He'd only confide with you in private that most of it was a ruse to psych himself into believing in the future. As time went on, he became even more of a recluse, and the rare smile he'd share on some occasions was all but gone.

Phainon on the other hand wore his heart on his sleeve. He smiled freely, he cared fiercely and he wasn't afraid to hide any of his emotions. You wish to keep him like this, happy that at least in one world, you were able to see your lover before disaster.

You only met Kevin after he'd joined the Fire MOTH, and you didn't get to really know him until years after your deployment. You never got to meet the carefree version of him from Su or Mei's stories.

"There was a boy and a girl that I knew, once upon a time." Your voice had piqued his attention and all traces of that sad, puppy expression had disappeared. You continue on with your story.

"The girl's fate was sealed from the moment she was born. A terrible darkness was sealed inside of her, and it was only a matter of time before it would take over her being." You take a deep breath before you continue. "We call these beings 'Herrschers'." How could a word mean nothing to one person, but chill you to your bones?

"But despite what her destiny had decreed, she did everything in her power to fight against the darkness. It was almost futile, but she held such a deep love for humanity that it fueled her desire to win." Would the bright-eyed rookie all those years ago be proud of who you are? Of all the damage you caused and tried to fix and undo?

"The boy on the other hand had all the choice in the world." You almost lose yourself in another memory, catching yourself before you do. "He could have lived his life in relative peace, but he chose to fight."

"Because he too had a deep love for humanity?" Phainon asked.

"You're not wrong, but not exactly. He gained a new reason when he fell in love with the girl." You look towards the Dawn Machine, the closest thing this planet has to a sun. "He promised to keep her safe from fate, to defy anything that stood in his way."

Before he stood on his knee to ask for your hand in marriage, he stood before you, vowing to keep you away from anything that would bring you harm, including yourself.

("Even when the Honkai makes you unrecognizable, I will always fight to find the woman I love within." A knight swearing to his princess, an oath written in blood and stardust. There was no one that would come in between him and you, the beautiful end. You make a silent oath to yourself to never let him have to choose between you or the world.)

"In the end, they both failed to achieve their goals. The darkness that she so desperately tried to conceal did exactly what she was afraid of." The distant screams and prayers have become white noise to you. "And the boy couldn't save her from her fate, and so he had to kill her. And her revival only could happen after the boy killed himself. " You were glad that your last sight was of Kevin's face. You only wish his eyes weren't blurred by his tears. You only wish that you were there to provide him the same comfort.

Phainon took a sharp breath, not expecting the story to end so bleakly. The light in his eyes started to dim and his hands were shaky at his side. If he thought you were going to give him hope that everything would be okay, then he was speaking to the wrong person.

His voice is solemn, unlike the cheerful tone he had thus far.

"Are all of our fates destined to be that bleak?" he asks with a woeful tone. You could tell he didn't want to accept such a notion, but sometimes there is simply nothing you could do except to welcome the inevitable.

That was not the lesson you wanted Phainon to leave with.

"Maybe yes, maybe no," you muse with a smile. From the corner of your eyes, Phainon tilts his head at your light tone. You continue on with the moral of your story. "If you ask the girl, she'd probably tell you that she doesn't regret a thing."

"What do you mean?" Phainon is skeptical but doesn't shut you down.

"She met the love of her life, had a great group of friends that she called family, and even if it was for a brief amount of time, she was able to help protect her home. Sure, she wishes things ended differently, but she's come to learn that that's how life goes sometimes." You didn't know when you became so optimistic, but it was leagues better than being miserable all the time.

You miss him. Desperately so with an ache in your soul. Sometimes you stay up in the middle of the night, feeling the faint connection between your heart and his. But you have since grown without him, and slowly, you were filling the void with new friends and new loves. Himeko's awful coffee. Welt's science jokes that no one gets but him. The trio and all the chaos that they get into.

You wish Kevin could see you now. He'd be crying to see the woman who's so haunted by her past being able to let go and find peace. It's a long process, and a very slow one, but the best time to start is today.

Just as Phainon brings you hope that there could be a version of your story that has a happy ending, you hope that your story shows him that there is life beyond tragedy. That even the darkest times cannot stay forever. He just needs to persevere through all of it, and you know he will.

When you arrived on Amphoreus and learned of its peculiarity, you were scared that all the little healing that you had done was for nothing.

Now? It was just a sign of how far you have come. That you weren't sobbing at the sight and sound of Phainon. Truthfully, you think that you have gained a new friend and you are thankful for that.

"That was… a beautiful story," he sniffles as wipes his tears. You didn't mean to make the poor man cry, but at least he was comfortable sharing his emotions with you.

You thank him and continue to gaze beyond the horizon, a sense of peace that you haven't felt in millennia overcoming you. The awkward energy gave away to two people basking in the painful reminders of what it means to be human. A human who feels too much and a monster who doesn't feel at all, or at least that is what you tell yourself. You were coming to terms that maybe you aren't the monster everyone thought you were.

"When I first saw you, I couldn't help but compare you to my partner," he confesses with shame. "I was so… furious that you were just standing there while they were gone." His fists clenched, not with anger but with determination. "But now I understand that you too have lost your lover, and that our pain is shared."

"However, I am sorry, I refuse to share our destiny." He stood with a fire in his eyes. "I will not lose Amphoreus or my partner to the Black Tide or any other threat that comes in the future."

Echoes of the past whispered in your ear. "Humanity will never lose hope for as long as they call me their hero, their Deliverer."

"Good," you snark, and a little bit of your old self starts to bleed through. "I expect nothing less, Deliverer."

He smiles and pounds his fist against his heart, another oath made to you. Hopefully, this one will be kept.

"I, Phainon of Aedes Elysiae, swear to you that I will see the Flame-Chase to the end, and that I will grant Amphoreus the happy ending we all deserve," he said with conviction, the same that you have heard from over the years. The desire to save your home isn't exclusive to one dying world, and you can extend your desire to other people.

"Then Phainon of Aedes of Elysiae," you start as you place a fist against your own heart, "I, (Y/N) of the Trailblaze swear that I will help however I can save Amphoreus from the Black Tide, and bring you to the Era Nova." You will not let another dying world fall.

In his excitement, Phainon lunges towards you and gives you a hug. His arms wrapped your back and lifted you up in the air. Your surprised shriek let him know that while this hug wasn't unwelcome, a warning would have done you good.

With renewed vigour, you and Phainon continue to walk through Marmoreal Market, with him pointing out all the stalls and the stories behind each of them. You laugh at his dramatic recreation, completely enchanted by the way he carries himself. In another life, he would have made for a fine historian.

It wasn't until you passed a funeral home that Phainon spoke up to ask you another question.

"Have you ever thought about death?" he asks with such innocent curiosity that it almost distracts you from the morbid question.

"Do you think I'm going to die soon?" you counter with a question of your own, happy with the panic you caused him. He stopped and turned around like a deer in headlights, and he let out another ramble to excuse himself.

"No! That is definitely not what I meant," he trembled in place, his hands waving around in surrender. "It's just that I've always thought about it – you know being a warrior, you never know when your time will come – and it's something I ask everyone. Though I understand if that seems odd, especially to an outsider. Please forgive me!" How he said that in one breath was a miracle. You need to calm him down before he bows– oh, there he goes. Bobbing his head up and down like he will be able to repent his sins.

"I haven't given it a lot of thought to be honest." Your voice snaps him out of repentance and gives you his utmost attention. "All I know is that I wish to be buried in a wedding dress," you smile. "He better have planned the biggest party for me."

"If I were to die alongside you, I expect an invitation as well." That much was obvious, but you hope he survives longer than you do if only to enjoy the happy ending he rightfully deserves. You also don't want to face the wrath of Amphoreus you for taking their man away from them so soon.

You were not his. He is not yours. The eerie similarities don't make up for the history that you share with your respective lovers. But in the shared details of your story, you find comfort that there are people like you, who face trials and tribulations beyond human comprehension. But at the same time, different enough to avoid the same doom you had to go through.

This is supposed to be a romantic story after all.

Just when you thought that all could end well, Lady Triannon comes running towards you, crying out to yourself and Phainon.

"Snowy! Come quick! Aglaea is going to execute Grayie and Dan Heng!" You don't respond, just running after her to save your idiots from their own poor decision-making.

You didn't think your life would come to this, but like you said earlier, you wouldn't change it for a damn thing.

–

(Beyond Calamity's Gate, there is an emanator waiting for their lover to fulfill the prophecy to set them free. They could only hope that he would be able to stop them from destroying the land they have come to love, and become the hero he was meant to be.)

(In another universe, there stood a man on the moon who barely escaped Death's hands. A girl with your eyes told him that you were okay, just exploring beyond the stars. He thinks that you deserved it after the sacrifices you made, but that didn't stop his longing to be with you again. He will find you, just like he promised all those years ago.)

given that all of this was written before 3.4, forgive me for the hopefulish ending ;-; mayhaps i'll write this from phainon's pov one day hehehe

may phainon wanters be phainon havers in the year of our lord 2025!!!

#phainon hsr #phainon x reader #phainon x you #honkai star rail #kevin kaslana #kevin kaslana x reader #kevin kaslana x you #honkai impact 3rd #tricking everyone to love kevin hehehe #zo writes tingz #this is zo speaking

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lunajay33 · 1 year ago

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Save a Horse🍂

Summary: Wandering around in the apocalypse was hell until you came across a a ranch, finding a injured horse you helped it finding the owner and things getting a little heated with an older cowboy

Pairing: Cowboy Negan Smith x f!reader

Warning: Age gap, reader is in 20s Negan is mid 40s, p in v, praise, virginity lose

Inspired by @lanadelnegan stories🤎

•Masterlist•

The apocalypse hit and everything happened so fast, I was with my family at our farm for some time watching the news, listening to the horror stories on the radio, we thought that we could go unscathed since we hadn’t been affected and that all the food and water we needed was on our land but all that changed one night when a hoard of walkers ran down our farm, my parents were first trying to fight of the walkers, quickly being ripped apart their screams still lingered in my head whenever I thought about them, then it was my two sisters trying to flee but got surrounded taking them down as well, I was lucky enough to get to my truck finding an opening in the walkers and driving away from my home, leaving me all alone on the road

Now it’s been 2 years going from place to place just trying to survive, to find a reason to keep living in this cruel world, I’ve been able to dodge as many walkers as I can, that wasn’t the main problem anymore, the food shortage was what dwindled my hope

My truck had broke down a while back so now I’ve just been wandering on foot, walking through the trees trying to get some shade from Georgia summer heat when I hear a groan and thud, I follow the direction of the whines on a left of what have might caused it, walkers, people, god knows what now a days

Rounding a tree I see a horse laying down on the ground, I approached slowly not wanting to spook it having experience with horses back on the farm, kneeling in front of it petting its soft black mane

“Hey girl, what are you doing out here all alone?” She didn’t look injured she was laying down fine, maybe she just got hot it was one of the hottest days I’ve ever lived in even in Georgia

I took out one of the bottles of water I found poring some of it over her face to help cool her down then poring the rest in a bowl I had in my bag and she was quick to drink it

After some time I stood up taking her lead rope trying to get her to stand up, I couldn’t leave her here all alone for some walkers to eat her alive maybe she came from somewhere near by

Walking through the trees she would occasionally change our course more like she was leading me than I was her until we got to a break in the trees, a ranch in perfect condition, a few horses grazing the field, little sheep’s hoping around, a chicken coop and a cozy little cabin like house right in the middle of the land, a brown bronco truck parked out front

Opening the gate, closing it behind me and the horse so the other animals wouldn’t get out like she did somehow, when a deep voice stopped me in my tracks

“See ya brought Missy back, been wondering where she went off to” coming down the porch steps was a older man, cowboy hat, white shirt, blue jeans and boots, maybe it was the lack of human contact or even interactions but damn was he fine, I didn’t realize he was right infront of me till he cleared his throat breaking me out of my oogling

“Oh yeah, I found her out in the woods she must had heat exhaustion so I gave her some water” my stomach feels like it’s in knots, I haven’t felt like this in so long, he’s said a few words and I’m entranced by him

“A nice and pretty girl might just have to keep ya around darling” he smirked making my knees weak, but I still have my values I’m not just going to jump his bones even though the urge is so strong

“Oh I mean if you’re able to take me in I’ll earn my keep, help around the farm, anything I just…..I can’t stay out there alone any longer” I said praying he’d give me a chance, some hope

“Ya sure you know what you’re doing around a farm?” He asked as he looked me up and down, lingering on my chest

“I grew up on a farm, I know what I’m doing”

“Hmmm well come on in, see where you can stay” I let Missy go so she could run off with the others, following him inside, it was bigger on the inside than it looked on the outside, cute kitchen, wooden accents around the house, he kept walking down a hallways till he stopped at a room waiting for me to go in first, it was cozy, I don’t care if this place was trashy as long as I can be stress free and have someone to keep me company

“You like it?” He asked from the doorway

“I love it, thank you” I said as I sit on the bed letting out a long awaited sigh

“How long were you out there?”

“I don’t know time is hard to keep track of out there, maybe 2 years”

“Damn girl, 2 years did you atleast have someone out there?”

“My farm fell early taking my family with it when the walkers came, so it’s just been me until now”

He gave me a pitiful look it made the blood rush to my cheeks

“Come on darlin, supper should be done, should get some food in you” he said waving me out of the room and Im quick to follow him to the kitchen where I sit at the table as he dishes up some food, fresh food something I haven’t had in well forever it feels like

He sits across from me at the table taking his hat of showing his dark brown hair streaked with some grey, biting my lip to stop myself from fantasizing about running my hands through his hair, pulling on it as I feel his beard scratch against my legs

“So what’s your name darlin, like to call you something other than sweet names” he smirks obviously realizing my constant leering but he didn’t make it easy

“I’m fine with your little names but it’s y/n”

“You got a spark still considering how long you’ve been out there, how old are you even?”

“20 you?”

“Let’s just say I’m old enough to be your father”

“Not a problem for me” I said under my breath

A few weeks went by and I did what I said, working hard around the farm, waking up early to collect eggs from the chicken coop, feeding the horses and sheep, picking any ripe berries from the garden all before he was even up, no different from today, I laid berries on our plates and scrambled some eggs finishing right when he comes out of his room, scruffy hair, boxers and a black tank top showing off his tattoos, yes I earned my keep but the tension between us was growing stronger and stronger everyday, every touch, every long night of staying up talking I have to do something about it

“Morning Negan sleep well?” I asked as he sat across from me, our usual spots since that first day

“Great darlin, would’ve been better if you were next to me all night” he smirked, he’d do this tease me and act like it was nothing but it was something to me especially when I’d stay up late at night touching myself thinking of the things he’d say

“Negan you’re driving me crazy you know that” I said chomping on a strawberry

“You think I don’t hear you?”

“What?” My face flushed, please god don’t let it be what I think it is

“At night, when you think I’m fast asleep, I hear you moaning my name, whimpering when you can’t make yourself finish” he said his voice getting deeper as he leaned further across the table

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I gotta go……..go clean up the hay” I said flustered and completely embarrassed standing up and leaving the house to the barn

OH MY GOD this is so embarrassing, he’s heard me touch my self to him what is wrong with me, it’s only been a week and I can’t control myself, maybe because he’s everything I want, strong sexy makes my knees weak and panties wet, plus I have so much pent up sexual frustration, growing up on a farm and not being allowed to date led to me now, a horny 20 year old fantasizing about a man who generously gave me shelter and food, I’m a mess, a horny mess that wants to ride this man all day long

I get to the barn pitchforking any loose straw back into the pile trying to figure out what I’m suppose to do now, how do I face him again after he’s heard me moan his name

“I can hear your crazy thoughts from here darling” I look to the barn door seeing him dressed in blue jeans, cowboy boots, his cowboy hat and a brown plaid

“I can’t take it anymore Negan, obviously you know that now, please just……..”

“Just what baby?” He asks his voice deeper again as he gets closer gripping my waist, his hands alone engulfing me

“Just touch me”

He leans down grabbing the back of my thighs lifting me to straddle his hips, my arms wrapped around his shoulders now face to face

“You sure you can handle this sweetheart?”

“I need it, I need you to fuck me please I’ve been so good” I say as he litters my neck with sloppy kisses

“You have, such a good girl for me, guess you deserve a big reward for that” he smirks as he squeezes my ass, laying my down in the hay pile

“Fuck you got me so hard, you know how hard it was to not bust into your room hearing your sweet moans just begging for me to plow this pussy?” He grips the bottom of my sundress hauling it off over my head leaving me in just my panties, my tits completely exposed

Hearing him groan as his hands roam my body, from my hips up my stomach to caress my tits rubbing his thumbs over them making my panties even more soaked

“That feels so good, doesn’t feel like this *fuck* when I try” I whimper my body feeling like it’s on fire

“No one ever make you feel good darling?” He says as he leaves kitten licks against my nipples feeling like lighting shooting from them to my clit, trying to grind against his thigh between my legs

“No, no one’s ever…..”

“No ones ever touched you, you’re a virgin?” He continues to suck hickeys down my stomach stopping at the hem of my panties

“Only you” I moan needing more

“Don’t worry I’ll make you feel good baby” he removed everything he’d wearing going to throw his hat in the pile of clothes but is top him

“Stop!……keep it on”

“You like cowboys? Wanna take a ride?” He smirks as he pulls down my panties leaving us both naked

“I mean I did save your horse, it’s only right to ride the cowboy” I say as I flip him over to straddle his hips, his dick standing big thick and prominent, he’s really gonna stretch me out good

“Oh ya it’s only right” he laughs squeezing my hips hard as he helps me move them back and forth grinding on his dick getting it wet

“I need it please”

“Take your time darling” he says as he lifts me up so I’m hovering right above him feeling his tip gently pushing against me

I slowly push down feeling the pressure and stretch, it hurt god it was way bigger than my two fingers

“Fuck baby you’re so tight” he grunts

“Is it…….is it all in, you’re so big I don’t know if I can take much more” I moan uncontrollably, all this sexual frustration finally breaking free

“Just a little more, come on be a good girl and take it” he helps push me down the rest of the way till I feel his skin flush against my clit

I sigh I relief that I got it all in but the sting isn’t pleasant

“Take your time cowgirl, wanna get you nice and stretched before you try and ride your cowboy” he laughs as he sits up kissing my neck again and rubbing my clit to help distract the pain

“God I can’t wait” I say gripping his shoulders as I start moving up and down, slowly at first feeling him deeper and deeper each time

“Fuck baby this pussy is gonna be the death of me” I take his hat putting it on holding it with one hand just like I would when riding a mechanical bull, bouncing and gyrating fast and harder and deeper feeling him hit that spot where it makes me see stars and screaming his name over and over as I feel that tension build up in my lower stomach

“Come on cowgirl, cum on my dick, make yourself cum, let it out” he says meeting my thrusts over and over driving even deeper

My hearing goes fuzzy feeling like my whole body is lit up with pleasure, it’s never felt this good before doing it by myself, soon feeling a warm liquid shoot up inside me, dripping down in between us making a sticky hot mess

Coming back down to earth from that mind blowing orgasm I feel his hands roaming up and down my back, his chest pressed against mine

“Did I do it right” I moan biting my lip slowly grinding on him

“Damn darling, that was the best fuck of my life, yeah you did it right, look great doing it to, could get us to this” he says laying back in the hay hands behind his head

I sat up feeling him slide out whining when he popped out his cum dripping onto the hay as I lean down against his chest

“I want more”

“Damn baby girl, they were right good girls really are the most frustrated”

We spent the rest of the day in the barn, him taking me in every position imaginable, everyone better than the last until we were exhausted and my pussy ached so good

“Glad you found my horse that day”

“Me too Negan”

I want this man desperately damn, I’m newish to writing this kind of story so if you got any tips lmk

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oogaboogasphincter · 1 month ago

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Jackson!Joel spicy alphabet 🦫☕️🪕

Next up on my spicy alphabet conquest: Joel Miller, specifically Jackson!Joel (HBO's version). And yes, to me there's a difference between HBO!Joel and game!Joel, and also between pre-outbreak!, post-outbreak!, and Jackson!Joel. i hope you enjoy reading! (i wish there was an acoustic guitar emoji😭) MDNI 18+ ONLY under the cut! (alphabet template credit here)

A - Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

Joel's job of caring for you isn't finished as soon as you stop having sex. He's incredibly affectionate, tearing himself away from you (even if you call for him to come back) just so he can get you a glass of water. He would prepare it ahead of time, but once things start getting hot and heavy his thoughts are tunneled to you and only you. He cleans you up with a warm washcloth and his calloused hands run impossibly delicate over your tender areas. He's a massive cuddler and will fall asleep with you in his arms, cradled to his chest, with his nose and mouth pressed gently against your hairline.

B - Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

Joel likes his torso. He's big, broad, and burly and he knows it. He likes what it can do for him, whether that's intimidating enemies or acting as a shield to protect the ones he loves. Thanks to your reassurances, he's even grown fond of the soft belly he's developed with age and finally living a life as close to comfortable as he can get. On you, he's also drawn to your waist. No matter its shape, he likes settling his hands there whenever he can. He's a sucker for hips, too. He always teases that he hates to see you leave, but he loves to watch you walk away.

C - Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He's got a pretty dastardly load stored up in his heavy, hairy balls. Joel's been celibate for the better part of the past seven years, but he's still a hot-blooded man. Once he met you and fell in love, it was like his body remembered its neglected endocrine system and started to nurture it again. His cum is a nice and thick opaque white that looks glorious wherever it ends up splattered across your skin. Joel doesn't really have a preference of where to come; instead he's too focused on the look in your eyes when he does.

D - Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Joel has too many dirty secrets as is to keep sexual ones also. He has a few fantasies that he wouldn't mind telling you about if you asked because there's nothing loaded or emotionally charged behind them — they're just for fun. For example, he thinks he'd enjoy a lap dance from you because his eyes would be free to eat you alive as you flaunted your body just for him, and he'd go even crazier if you didn't let him touch you as you make him just sit there and grind yourself all over him. He keeps a few other thoughts on the back burner of his mind that he visits when he needs something to envision while he jerks off, but you'll have to try harder to get the details about those out of him.

E - Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

Like I mentioned, Joel's body went into hibernation after Tess and before her, sexual encounters were sparse post-outbreak. But when his desire is rekindled with you, all of the tricks Joel collected from charming women up and down the streets of Austin pre-outbreak come flooding back to him. His aging muscles still have their memory, rediscovering just the right pattern of hooks and rubs to bring you to glory. Joel's a little shy about his body count only because he doesn't want you to think of him as an easy conquest, but he suddenly finds pride for it when he pulls a certain mind-blowing maneuver on you (or when Tommy pushes his buttons a little too much).

F - Favorite position (this goes without saying)

While he enjoys cowgirl because it gives him a chance to marvel at you while resting his achy bones, Joel's theoretical favorite is missionary. Call him old school, but he can't get enough intimacy with you now that he's let you inside the walls he's built around his heart. Realistically though, his favorite go-to is doggystyle because it's a crossroads of all the best: it's easier on his back than missionary, he gets to satisfy his dominant streak, and he can admire your beautiful form all at the same time. He's also a fan of lying on his side behind you, spooning you and cocooning you in his chest with his arms wrapped around yours so that his short thrusts reach deep inside you. (Basically, every position with you is his favorite.)

G - Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

If there's one thing about Joel, he's got jokes. However, I think the first time you two are intimate with each other he's very serious because he wants to make sure he's giving you a good time. From a genuine standpoint, he'd never want to do something that would ruin the moment for you or burst the peaceful bubble you've fought so hard to create. But after you've been together for a while and have become familiar with each other's language of intimacy, he likes to amuse you because making love is a happy time for him. Plus, he thinks your giggle is wildly sexy.

H - Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Joel does little if no grooming downstairs. He's not the hairiest guy to start, but he likes what he has so he keeps the bush around his cock full. If it starts to look a little scraggly he'll trim himself up, but only then. His love for the all natural extends to you; whatever you have going on when you leave yourself untamed, he'll love it. If he could choose, he likes thick bushes (he had his sexual awakening in the 70s, after all). And there's something about the heat from your hairy navels rubbing together when he's fucking you, or burying his mouth in your pussy and getting a noseful of your soft hair... it drives him wild.

I - Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect?)

Joel's fierce protectiveness morphs into delicate tenderness and care when you're intimate. Since he still has his struggles with emotional constipation, he tries to make up for it by prioritizing your physical comfort. He's always making sure the position you're entangled in isn't making you strain. He'll do things like stuff a pillow underneath your hips or wrap his arm around the top of your head when you're underneath him so it doesn't bump into the headboard on his eager thrusts. Actions like these are sometimes easier for him to show you how much he cares rather than speaking the words.

J - Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I literally wrote an entire blurb about this (see: coming soon!).

K - Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Dom/sub - This goes both ways. Joel has controlling tendencies that win him over sometimes, and there's nothing he'd love more than to have you fully submit to him and listen to his every word. He'd never compare you to an animal, but think about what he said about sheep: how they're quiet and do as they're told. When it comes to you, he loves your personality to bits, but... there's a lurking thought in the back of his mind that craves having you on your knees, doing whatever he wants. On the other hand, Joel gets equally tired of ordering others around and being designated as the reluctant voice of reason. Knowing he can place his complete trust and faith in you to keep him safe, he dreams about the relief that would come with just listening for once.

Choking - I think this goes hand in hand with Dom/sub, but again I think Joel would like the power/control this exerts over his partner. Most of the time he doesn’t do it very rough — instead his hand is almost just resting on your throat and keeping you in place. His forearm will be pressed down the middle of your chest and his nose will be smooshed into your cheek while he stares deep into your eyes, watching for every flicker of emotion that they betray. He’ll give you a soft squeeze to redirect your gaze back to his when it falls away or just as your orgasm hits so the deprivation and subsequent supply of oxygen floods your nervous system with that much more ecstasy.

Restraints - This one he uses sparingly and only when the mood is just right. He usually brings out a tie worn soft with wear or his belt when he’s had a particularly rough day. Joel has some trauma around instruments like these, so using them on you reframes the bad memories in his mind to something farther away from terrifying. He likes to restrain your wrists behind your back or bind your ankles together, tightening his belt enough so that it leaves a mark on your skin… and surprisingly, he’ll be incredibly gentle and sweet to you. No spankings, no slaps or hits - his rough hands position you with incomparable tenderness and care. His favorite thing to do is run his hand down the slope of your back slowly, feeling every inch of you, and carefully hold you down on the mattress by the back of your neck while he takes you from behind.

L - Location (favorite places to do the do)

Joel likes being intimate at home because he's worked so hard to build a sanctuary amidst the chaos with you. It makes it easier for him to feel like he can let his guard down for once and focus entirely on you instead of having to constantly be looking over his shoulder, for Infected and nosy Jackson neighbors alike. He'll take you in multiple spots around the house just for the rush of something different, just because he can now: on top of the kitchen island, in the laundry room, on the stairs. He LOVES fucking you outdoors too. He tries his best to schedule dates with you to venture into the wild outside of patrol, since he thinks fooling around during patrol is a little irresponsible. Yet sometimes he still can't resist when you tease him while he's just trying to fulfill his duties; it's torturous watching you strut around the empty buildings or riding through the woods on horseback, knowing he can just ravish you on the floor or against a tree if he wanted and no one would ever know.

M - Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

One word: intimacy. Joel gets hard by expressing his love for you and feeling it returned (so sweet, right?). Late night conversations with your thighs draped over his lap; gentle, admiring touches all over your still-sleepy faces in the morning sunlight; kisses where he can feel the desire for something more barely contained within you. He’s a big acts of service guy too, so if you had dinner waiting for him after he got back home from a long patrol shift he would fall to his knees at your feet in utter glory of you; he’s a simple man in that sense. At the end of the day, you can take the man out of the South but never the South out of the man.

N - No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

Joel doesn't like things that feel forced or gimmicky. He'd never shame someone else for having these preferences, but things like role-play or sex toys beyond your standard vibrator just don't do it for him. As much as he's afraid of it, he needs genuine connection with another soul. To him, these things get in the way of or poorly try to substitute that. And of course, he would never do something you didn't like. While he enjoys pushing your limits with consent at the forefront of both your minds, he'd never think of doing something that was a hard limit of yours. If you're having a bad time so is he.

O - Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Heaven is a place on Earth where Joel can spend hours between your legs. He prefers giving to receiving because his blood types 100% service top. His skill is impeccable because he’s so receptive: he’ll keep his eyes on you the entire time, reading flickers of your expression and feeling flutters of your folds around his fingers as cues to go faster, deeper, maintain, etc. Now, this isn’t to say he would turn down a blowjob; to him, that would be just downright disrespectful. But your taste is unparalleled in his opinion. And your moans, Jesus Christ — he could come in his pants just from listening to you, and with his tongue buried in your heat? He’s a goner.

P - Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

-BOAF. Capital b, capital o, capital a, capital f.

-Boaf?

-BOAF!

Joel has the gift of rhythm, whether that’s fast and rough or slow and sensual or a heavenly mix of both. He knows how to read your mood and pick the exact pace to make you see stars. Despite his age, he’s capable of making the bed creak if he wants to — in fact, he’s joked before that he can go as hard as he wants because he’s been meaning to make a new bed frame from scratch, anyways.

Q - Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Joel enjoys the occasional quickie, it just depends on the situation. If the two of you are alone and it’d be more of a struggle to ignore your desires than to satiate them, then he’s pinning you up against the wall before you make a trip to the market or taking you behind stable walls just before you head out on patrol. If there’s any real risk of getting caught and it’s not just an imaginary scenario to make you both hot though, then he’s not really into it. Joel has a possessive streak, but it runs so deep that he’d rather covet you all to himself than show you off in your most vulnerable beauty to unworthy eyes.

R - Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Again, overall Joel is risk averse. At this point in his life, he’s had to weigh too many difficult choices to actively pursue something without a guarantee of it working out in his or your favor. However, in the sanctuary of your bedroom, he’s open to exploring different facets of his sexuality. To get to this point in your relationship, he’s already put so much faith and trust in you that he knows you’d never push him past his limits. Plus, he’d do absolutely anything for you that brings that beautiful, excited smile to your face.

S - Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Joel lasts 20 minutes on average from start to finish. Nothing crazy, but just enough that you’re perfectly satisfied and ready to go again should your desires be rekindled. Speaking of which, he can confidently go two rounds. He’s accomplished three once before, but the next day he was fucking exhausted (and not particularly in a good way).

T - Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Besides dirty magazines (do those count?), Joel doesn’t own any toys and never had the desire to. He uses your vibrator on you whenever you ask, though he’s smug enough to claim that you usually don’t need anything besides him to get you to come. Getting him to try a new toy might take some convincing or destigmatizing, but he’s open to trying anything that you think will make you happy at least once (though he can’t promise he’ll like everything).

U - Unfair (how much they like to tease)

To me, Joel wouldn’t like to tease much when it comes to sex. He pulls your leg plenty in nearly every other situation and he never wants you to think that he doesn’t take intimacy with you seriously. Like I said, he might crack a joke or two, but he doesn’t make you hold back or lead you on (for very long, at least). For instance, when he comes out of the shower and you make a comment about how sexy he looks in his bathrobe, he’ll only make you wait as long as it takes him to brush his teeth before he starts rolling around in the sheets with you.

V - Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Sexy old man noises are abound when you make love with Joel. He’s less about moans and more so about grunts and panting exhales. He likes to talk, both to constantly check in on you to make sure you’re enjoying yourself and because he can feel you clench around him whenever he murmurs gravelly praise in your ear, making his breath catch in his throat. He also likes to talk with you in hushed whispers while you make love because it makes the whole experience so much more intimate for him. Even if it’s just catching up on your day, Joel likes anything that reminds him he’s making love to you. That might sound stupidly simple, but Joel doesn’t have sex with you for primal reasons (though those aren’t completely lost on him). In other words, he doesn’t have sex for the sake of having sex. He makes love with you because he wants to show you how much he cares, to completely envelope himself in everything you.

W - Wild card (a random head canon for the character)

When he went to summer camp as a teenager, one of his bunkmates had brought a Playboy and proudly showed it off to the other boys. The day before the campers returned home, Joel quietly swiped the contraband and his pension for dirty magazines was born. While that specific magazine is long gone, to this day — half a century later — Joel feels unsettled if he doesn't have some sort of printed porn in his possession. Since you entered his life, he doesn't feel the need to use stuff like that as much but he unironically thinks that some of the pictures are beautifully shot. Sometimes, he'll look at them like one would a piece of art. He likes to imagine photographing you like that, beautiful in your vulnerability, so that he can always have a little preservation of your beauty and his love to last the test of time. He's a connoisseur, but if anyone ever called him that he might just implode from humiliation.

X - X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

In short, Joel is perfect. He’s got a girth that demands a satisfying stretch from you but it never hurts. His length is the same, reaching deep inside you without poking uncomfortably at your ending. As previously mentioned, he’s hairy all over his navel and it sparsely climbs up his shaft and around his balls. He’s got a few cute freckles too; one just right of center at his base, on his left inner thigh, and another right on the curve of his ass.

Y - Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Joel won't lie; his increasing age has taken a toll on the rabid energy that used to consume him whenever he found himself remotely attracted to someone. Yet when he started going out with you, he felt like an old pervert: wanting more than he thought was gentlemanly, worrying that it would drive you away. When you reciprocated eagerly, it soothed that itch which comes with the question of unrequited love. Since your love has been proven to him time and time again, he doesn't feel rushed and the need to prove himself through sexual means is lessened. He knows you're understanding when he says he wants to but his body just doesn't cooperate every time. However, Joel makes sure every time counts for more than once when his physical form finds itself capable of the task.

Z - Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It takes Joel longer than he would like to fall asleep. Even after having a wonderful time with you, sometimes he gets stuck in a loop in his brain. As he holds you, he can’t help but think about how life would be like with you, what his family would look like, if the outbreak hadn’t happened. With your sleeping form of peaceful warmth snuggled against his chest, he feels safe to let the weight of agony push down his heart for as long as it needs. For once, he doesn’t suppress the pain but willingly, albeit reluctantly, embraces it. After his quiet tears clear, he looks around his bedroom, down in his arms at what he does have, and then he’s able to sleep with the hope that he’ll get to experience it all over again in the morning.

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