#its my cousins birthday thats why she came to mind.

[crescentmp3]

thinking about my cousins cat

[luvmyoui]

six - out

previous masterlist next

gp!myoui mina x fem!reader

warnings: cursing

word count: 1,732

a/n: GUYS IM SORRY, I MEANT TO POST THIS EARLIER BUT I LOST TRACK OF TIME PLS FORGIVE ME😞😞

the constant buzzing of your phone roused you from your slumber, you tried to ignore it but the buzzing hadn’t gone away like it usually would. with a huff you sat up and received the call without checking the caller. 

“what?!” you said annoyance clear in your tone.

“check twitter, right now!” camila’s stressed out voice exclaimed from the other end of the phone. 

“okay, okay, gosh what terrible thing happen-” you fell silent when the twitter app loaded on and displayed a linked article stating a question along with a picture. 

SIXTH HARMONY’S Y/N L/N HAS A DAUGHTER? 

the article went on to explain how an anonymous source had sent a picture of the ‘happy birthday isla’ banner that hung behind you, you were squatted on the floor with isla’s cheek squished into yours. seeing the picture you immediately recognized it as one that was definitely taken the day before. you could only curse yourself for letting that man help bring that package into your home and forgetting to close the door. apparently there had been paparazzi waiting outside of your house and took pictures of the decorations while your door was open. 

“y/n? you good?” camila's worried voice pulled you out of your regretful thoughts. 

“y-yeah, just shocked. the thought of this happening never even crossed my mind.” you said, still in disbelief that this could’ve happened. 

“look at the comments though, we can go along with them and lie.” hearing this, with curiosity you scrolled down to see the replies to the tweet. 

REPLIES: 

sixtharmony4ever: why can't you people just mind your own business omg, leave my girls alone!!!

camilasolostan: wtf??? was y/n a teen mom?! iloveyn: so what if she was, its her life not yours.

laurenmll: why are you idiots acting like she can't have nieces😭😭 user872349: are you stupid, she doesn't have any siblings💀💀 laurenmll: are you? you're acting like she cant have any cousins☠️ laursss: girl lets be real, thats 100% y/ns kid camziezz: literally, cuzns arent twins💀💀

sixthharmonizerrr: these paparazzis seriously need to get a life and let celebs live theirs.

twice4lifee: guys why does that baby look exactly like mina😰😰minaluvzme: IM SAYINN once4ever: NEW SHIP???

minariii: *image attached* cannot tell me they are not the same person, literally give that kid a haircut and its mina.

lovey/nnn: why does the baby look like that one girl from that kpop group?!

harmonizeronce: does mina have a secret brother? twcmina: she literally said in multiple interviews she was an only child. harmonizeronce: thats why i said secret smartass.

seeing people defending you brought a smile to your face, you loved your fans. though you couldn't help the anxiety creep up your spine, what if they found out about mina. rather than worrying for yourself, you worried for mina, it might break her career if it's found out that she has a kid. you knew that the kpop industry was much less forgiving when it came to things like this. feeling another buzz in your hand caused you to look at the incoming call from your manager larry. 

“mila, larry’s calling so i’ll hang up now okay?” hearing a ‘kay’ from camila you hung up and accepted the call from your manager. 

“deny having a kid, say it was your cousins or something and that you hang out with her kid alot. I honestly don't care what you say, just make sure no one knows that it's your kid.” he said as soon as you had accepted the call

“and if i don't want to?” 

“that’s not an option.” he stated. 

“I'm not going to deny my kid, can I just stay quiet? i won't ever deny that isla’s my daughter, i'm not and never will be ashamed of her. sure i had her young but i don't regret it at all.” you responded with finality in your voice. maybe this was a stupid decision, but one parent had already left isla and you refused to disown her by saying she wasn't yours.  

letting out a sigh, knowing nothing he said would change your decision, your manager let out a fine and hung up the call. you let yourself fall back into your bed and just laid there hands and legs sprawled out. hearing the creak of your door opening made you lift your head a bit to see isla standing there. she ran over to your bed, when she reached it she proceeded to lift one of her legs up trying to get onto the bed. you smiled down at how cute she looked, stopping her struggles, you sat up and pulled her onto the bed next to you. with her small hands she pushed you down onto your back and jumped onto you, cuddling her face into your neck. 

“when will i get to see mommy, i only see hew in pictuws.” isla said into your neck, she was very clearly distressed, and you could only think of the day before when she had questioned mina’s want to even see her. 

you honestly didn't even think mina wanted to see her, sure she sent gifts but you doubt she’d want to see isla. she always thought of the child as a burden, as something that you were supposed to care for. the thought brought a frown to your face, you wished for mina to see isla and acknowledge her as a daughter. 

chaos had ensued in the twice dorms, although mina only shared a dorm with nayeon, all the girls were currently at the dorms. as soon as they had seen the tweet they rushed over, hoping that it wasn't as they thought. 

“so what, you just left her alone with a kid?!” jeongyeon exclaimed, clearly upset at the mere idea. 

“uh- well it wasn't like that, i wanted to pursue my dream and she was holding me back. also i send them money and gifts and pay for the apartment, i’m fulfilling my role as a parent.” hearing this, all of the girls continued their attack, throwing objects at mina. she tried to dodge but there were too many coming and too fast. 

“god i knew you were a douche judging by the amount of girls you bring home, but this is just unbelievable.” momo said, followed by a shoe being thrown at mina’s head. 

“you guys are unbelievable, i'm your member, not her. plus, are you forgetting the part where i literally send gifts, money, and pay the bills?! also she didn't want me to follow my dream!” mina exclaimed, why couldn't they understand her side?

“yeah, and are you forgetting the part where you got her pregnant. whatever she says doesn't matter, as the person who got her pregnant you should have taken responsibility.” jihyo voiced out, clearly annoyed by her excuses.

“I do take responsibility! how many times do i need to say that i give them money, i spoil them incredibly!” mina cried out in exasperation, how many times did she have to say it for them to understand?

the yelling and throwing of things was stopped the moment the door to the dorm opened, their manager walking in. “mina, there better be a good explanation for this.” their manager said, glaring at mina. 

“uhm- there really isn't one, it’s exactly how it seems.” 

“how do you even know y/n?!” their manager exclaimed, not being able to wrap her mind around this situation.

“we uh- we were high school sweethearts, we dated throughout almost the entirety of highschool.”

“what?!” everyone exclaimed, not knowing that they were in that serious of a relationship. 

“wait, so do you know any other celebrities?” chaeyoung asked in disbelief, she had been a fan of the group's music for a while and couldn't believe mina knew them.

“uh- yeah, shawn mendes, he was my best friend since middle school and camila, but she was y/n’s best friend. and i mean camila never really liked me.” 

“you knew shawn mendes?!” chaeyoung exclaimed, being best friends with shawn mendes was insane to her. 

“yeah, i still talk to him from time to time too.” mina said, scratching the back of her head as she explained. 

“mina, i hope you know that we will be going to the US for the billboard women in music awards. and sixth harmony will for sure be there.” their manager said to mina.

“what!?” mina exclaimed, the thought that she might run into you again was now starting to eat away at her. she didn't want to see you, but at the same time she wanted so desperately to. 

“oh yeah, i was gonna tell you.” jihyo said, everyone surprised that mina didn't know. 

everyone had left by now, and it was only mina, nayeon, and the two beer bottles on the coffee table in front of them. mina usually didn't drink, her intolerance for alcoholic drinks being the reason, but after today she just needed a drink. 

“what do you think? do you agree with everyone else, you think i'm an asshole?” mina asked, not offended but wanting a genuine answer.

“I mean what you did was very assholey, but i mean it’s never too late to change you know? i mean i’ve lived with you for like how long? three, four years? and i mean i think i know you best, and i can say with confidence you’ve had at least a little character development.” nayeon said, taking a swig of her beer. 

“but what do i do? I feel like what me and y/n had is broken by now. I don't think she’d even want me to meet isla.” mina said, she would never dare say her true thoughts. and i mean, could you blame her? 

all she knew about this kid was that she was 3 years old and that it was hers. she didn't even know what isla looked like until she saw the picture on twitter. she felt terrible for even thinking it, but she didn't really care all that much for this kid. you on the other hand, she had known you for a long time, she loved you, she had a kid with you. she didn't regret pursuing her dream but she wished it didn’t include losing you. 

“just talk to her, when we meet her. try to just talk it all out.” 

taglist: @moon-ellie @lisas-earlobe @cocojy @second-daughter-of-clexa @runassimp@eliii1sblog @yvsvrn send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist!

[filesofmonae]

Hey blog,

It’s been a couple days since i last updated yall. I’ve been vibing with life lately. Im not going to the university i planned on going to. My parents aren’t able to pay for my tuition but it’s whatever. I actually dont mind doing a 2 year then transfering, its just i hate that i have to now withdraw from the university and apply to the community college. I was really looking forward to the college freshman experience but that isn’t the most important thing. I can have a blast and be at a community college getting my education for cheap.

Also i had the time of my life 4th of July. I dont celebrate it for America, i just like the excuse to doing shit. But anyways, it was so much fun. My friends and i went to the pool and had some nice drinks. It turned into a whole big thing though towards the end of the night. We were all laughing and playing drinking games when somebody suggested to play uno. And of course, everybody in the room plays different and wanna argue about what should and shouldn’t be right about drawing. I was very oblivious all day. I was gardening and faded the whole day so im just running off good vibes and laughing. That’s when i realize it was a serious argument going on and my mouth dropped!!!! I didn’t expect any of it to go out like that but it did. Afterwards, i was making TikTok’s with my friend and her little cousin and eating my life away. On our way home, wee were talking to our Uber about the situation and just laughing. It was such a good day lmao. I felt like everybody that i came in close contact with was so genuine and kind I also got my dad a candle for his birthday. I didn’t think he was gonna like it but he was very grateful for it :). I was the only one that got him anything, mind you hes suppose to be married to my mother.. She tried to ask me to get an Uber to this far ass mall to go and get him something like hell no. You’re not about to make me do that shit unt unt. She tried to call my dad and tell him to do it but he said no because why the fuck am i fetching my own birthday gift? That’s bullshit as fuck. You just ended up forgetting my birthday and tryna save your ass THE WRONG WAY. Then she tried to call my dad ungrateful for not doing it but it’s like huh??? You couldn’t had the gift you supposedly had shipped and told him that it was delayed or something, A BETTER LIE. Tryna gaslight him.

But yeah chile, thats been my little update. It’s so much more but I’ll talk about it later with yall.

[milascenta]

June 26th 23:38

I apologise for the late post, I've had a cold all week. Thats why I haven't streamed since sunday lol. My nephew had a party and one of his friends came over, and he walked in like a lil patient 0 all coughy and rubbing his nose on his sleeve haha. I took one look at him and went yeah I'm getting sick. Sunday stream was so great and I'm so glad I could at least take you out of your mind for a lil bit, I will be streaming on Wednesday 9pm (your birthday) and will try to get more consistent with it too.

I'm glad you felt a lil better to write to me though, you don't have to push yourself right now, just focus on you and what your body is telling you. Take time to feel so you can heal. Its ok for your sleep and eating to get disrupted, its completely normal and is really just your body trying to come to terms with everything, and it will pass I promise. Please if anything gets worse, promise you'll seek more appropriate help, I can't help further than what I can you know. Please talk all the nonsense you want, I'll listen. I'm so sorry you have to do everything alone, that really isn't fair, this is meant to be a time for the opposite. I really glad you had your cousin with you at least for a lil bit to collect some things, he sounds like a good dude and the doggy sounds amazing too, I'm glad they give so much love and affection at the right times (dogs seem to really know that kinda stuff)

Its ok to feel like crumbling like that, I'd find it odd if you didn't you know. It really is one of those moments where you truly don't know yourself until you're in it, so I completely understand all of the emotions brought up. Again I'm really glad you had your cousin there with you, I wish I could have been there too, to support you. I'm also glad you got to feel overwhelmed by the emotions and he did too (that might sound weird idk), I'm glad you didn't just bottle them up. It sounds like you picked the exact right thing for him to wear, and I bet he looks badass too. The undertaker sounds good too, very professional and know how to deal with these things. I like that he helped you figure out what to do, I can't imagine how hard it would be to have to figure it all out. I really hope everything worked out with the flowers and the registry. I know they'll be beautiful and fitting, because you picked them. I know it will be hard, I wish I could be there to help you through the little things too.

Of course your hair is beautiful, it suits you so well. It frames your face and of course the colour, need I say anything hehe. Omg the scratchy stage for tattoos SUUCk, I have one on the back of my arm and when it was healing I remember waking up one day and it sticking to the bed sheets and literally leaving an imprint, like full colour and lines just right there, I had to pull myself off haha, didn't hurt though or damage the tattoo must have been a bit of the excess ink drying to the sheet lol. I hope yours is healing more now and out of that annoying stage. Ooo 3 more too thats exciting, I know they'll be good. I love small tattoos too, I know they'll do him justice, and I hope they provide you with a lil peace too. I'm sorry your mother thinks that, thats so stupid lol, you're not ruining anything and the idea that you are is kinda stupid too, more stupid that she seems to care more about your skin/hair then everything else, but I'll restrain myself from talking more about it. Its yours and you can do whatever you want.

We're on a small break from gigging with the band till september, which is good, gives me time to properly assess how its going and focus on other things. I honestly don't really know the direction its going, plateauing or not, but yeah gives me some time to think about it.

Thank you for coming to my stream again, you weren't too chatty at all, in fact that was what helped talk for so long haha. (also its good for the algorithm hehehe) I was just going off you and the game. I'm sorry I haven't been streaming too much though. I really wanted to stream all week but couldn't really. I feel my perfectionism is really holding me back from it too, but I'm glad I've done at least one because that took a lot of the pressure off it. But I will power through it for Wednesday, I'm gonna start a new Cyberpunk playthrough, ready up for Phantom Liberty dlc which looks AMAZING, and I remember you said you got addicted to it during covid too. Then I'll go back to more tentacle god and alternate a bit. Though weird thing with Cyberpunk is hat OBS hates playing it and having my facecam on, so my facecam just turns off randomly, I have no idea why, my only thought is that Cyberpunk hogs my CPU so maybe its not enough for the camera, idk, so no camera while I play Cyberpunk but ESO and other things should be fine.

I'm so glad you got to finally see Chonky and how she acts, its hard to explain her to someone without them seeing so I'm glad you saw her. She looves belly rubs but also looves latching on to arms with her claws at random moments too. I play hardcore and really roll the dice by my putting my face into the floof and giving her raspberries which she finds amusing.

Its not weird reading through these, if it comforts you then do it. I write these for you so they're yours.

Yes Little Hell is one of my all time favourite albums, Silver and Gold, We found each other in the dark, some of my favourite songs. I will say Bring me Your Love is my favourite by him though, What Makes a Man has a hold on my heart and soul forever, and speaks to me on too many levels haha. I just love how he's this hardcore icon in Alexisonfire, covered in tatts and sings some of the most heart-wrenching poetic music, I love it when that happens with people haha.

Don't feel guilty for celebrating, I completely understand why though. But you need to, for you, and for him. He would want you to do what ever makes you happiest and without concern. I know it will be hard. But its normal to feel what you're feeling, it will be a range of emotions. Don't let it stop you from feeling positive as well.

I hope you can get to sleep a bit easier, I hope these messages help you sleep and take you mind off things. Happy birthday soon, I'll write again soon too.

"I fell straight Into your arms Like a drunk Who's been on it All morning"

[alphawolfmamiandpapi]

The little things

Just a lil something i wrote while trying to get out of my creative block let me know you y'all want more ;)

Castellano tiredly dragged his and his wifes full suitcases through their house to their shared bedroom while she played in the living room with their pups he was tasked with unpacking their vacation bags. Throwing the cases on the bed the wolf scratched his head wondering if rich or cam had even unpacked their own bags yet, although his thoughts didnt wonder too far as there was a knock on the front door. "I got it!" He called out knowing how much his wife elle missed her pups and how much the two pups missed their parents so he didnt want who ever it was to disturb them. Swiftly opening the door he found his father looking quite confused and uneasy, "hey cas sorry to bother you during this happy little reunion" looking past his son benny saw ellie and the pups playing happily "but let me talk to you privately for a minute". Taking a step back the older wolf motioned for his son to follow to which he did closing the door behind him, "okay pops whats wrong? Is it mom? Did the pups do something while they were over there? awe man i knew we should of left them with jack in the north" cas groaned knowing how rowdy and wild his kids could be sometimes especially when joined by their cousins. benny chuckled shaking his head "no son its not that but i was wondering did your mother seem strange to you earlier when you and your siblings came to pick up the pups from our house?" Crossing his arms cas went over the days earlier exchange with his mother in his head. furrowing his brows castellano shrugged shaking his head nothing out of the ordinary coming to mind which baffled his father even more "well cause when i got home from checking out the shop she was unusually quiet and a little stiff you know how your mother is and thats not normal" the younger wolf nodded. it was a sign of warning when his mother was quiet which meant one of two things either she was upset or his dad was in the dog house, most of the time it was the latter rather than the former which explain why he was asking his son instead of his wife. benito gave a deep sigh before ultimately giving up "i know it cant be something i did cause its not her birthday or our anniversary, i got her a bouqet of white lillies the other day so it cant be me" the two shrugged "i dont know dad you'll have to ask her this time" nodding the older wolf turned to leave "give my love to my daughter in law and have fun with your pups figlio". waving goodbye benny left walking towards home to do the impossible since having to ask his wife why she was upset would only make her more upset which in turn might land him in the dog house anyway. the alpha shuddered at the thought of his wifes wrath, sure he was the alpha the leader in the relationship and her loving protector but all that went out the window when she was angry with him and getting back in her good graces wasnt always easy.

Approaching the front door cautiously benny looked around for something to grab to act like he was busy just passing through as a back up plan for a quick escape "always got to think ahead benny boy" repeating his own fathers words to himself he grabbed a box of tools he left out on the porch before walking inside. immediately upon walking in he heard his wifes sniffles and whimpers coming from the kitchen, almost dropping the box benny rushed to her finding vivian at the table teary eyed looking through an old family album of theirs. Instantly going into worried husband mode he put down the tool box holding his wifes tear streaked face in his hands "cara mia" seeing her pouty face always made his heart break "whats wrong amore mio?" he asked looking softly into her eyes as she babbled he just tried to calm her. holding her close to him while she sobbed into his shoulder benny took a peak at the page in question she was crying over and then it all clicked, "benito querido i want a baby!" viv exclaimed loudly holding him tight "i miss our pups being little and having our grandpups around just made me miss it more!". Benny tensed up at the thought of having another little trouble maker running around their small home "amore is that all?" playing it off like it wasnt such a big deal the wolf lifted his wife from her chair carrying her to their shared room laying her on the bed "you sit right here and ill be right back okay let me go put my tools away" kissing her head backing away she stopped him. Vivian had an iron grip on her husbands shirt "hurry back okay mi corazon" her pouty face almost made him want to stay but the stone grip she had drove her point home very clearly "of course fiore" softly kissing her face once more she finally let him go. the alpha let out a breath he didnt know he was holding once he was out of the room now was his chance to run, it started off slow and swift before he broke out into a full sprint not even grabbing his tools to put away. benny had to think of somewhere to hide out for a little bit until his wifes baby fever went away, "im sure my sons wont mind some company" he said to himself quickly rushing off to the bunker that dean and sam had put together for their hunts.

Once there he banged on the door like his life depended on it which maybe it did since when he left benny could tell vivians neediness was getting more severe and primal as it always often did when she had her little fits of possesive wanting. sighing relieved as sam opened the door benny walked right in seeing dean at the large table cas and rich built for them that was adorned with decorative wolves and trees, "alright you two i need your help right now" dean stood up at once "what happened old man?" He asked concerned "nothing serious i just need to stay here since viv wont look here for me". The two brothers looked at each other settling down after ben had riled them up as if it was a life or death emergency "okay ben what did you do this time?" The alpha growled "thats just it sammy boy i didnt do anything my wife wants a baby so for the sake of my safety im hiding out here" dean scoffed at the old wolf. "Okay papa wolf you can stay here for a little while but just until mama wolf calms down but why run from her?" dean sat back putting his feet up "because son my little adorable wife who you lovingly call mama becomes a feral love beast when she gets like this and she wont stop until she gets her way how do you think cas got here? so Ive learned its best to just stay out of sight until this blows over". furrowing his brows sam crossed his arms "so why not just give her what she wants that seems a little smarter if you ask me" benny laughed and shook his head looking at dean "you can tell hes never slept with a crazy baby hungry wolf" the two shared a knowing laugh both having wolf mates and knowledge of what it was like "but if you must know sam we're old our pups are grown and we have grandpups, that would just be us starting over again and i dont know about her but im not ready for that again". The brothers shrugged going back to work as the wolf leaned back and relaxed thinking to himself this was going to be a long couple of days but at least he was in familiar company with no worries of his love hungry shewolf finding him, hopefully.

[h3artbrok3nn]

i already hate this year dude and its only been 3 days into it i have been stuck with the devil, lost my best friend, been getting horrible pain since december, my insomnia has drastically gotten worse, i realize how i cant open up to literally anyone anymore (besides my bf), my dad has been extremely sick, my self harm cuts are starting to show all around my body, my mom yelled at me for having no irl friends, im getting called emo every day now (i hate when people call me emo dude), im too scared to talk to people, my stepmom is slowly starting to realize shit, my 21st attempt of suicide didnt work, my stepbrother is in prison and hes the only one i really talked too, my brother wants me dead, my mom couldnt care less about me (as usual), im getting sicker and sicker everyday, my body became more weak, my anxiety has also increased, my teacher is back and hes gonna see right through me, my boyfriend might start to get annoyed by me, my hallucinations are much worse, i keep seeing demons idk- literally losing my bestfriend was like the icing on my fucked up cake- i was literally gonna bring him his late Christmas gift tomorrow today too- idk wtf im supposed to do with it now. I only have 2 irl friends now and my boyfriend. Thats all I talk to. I dont even see juanny (one of my irl best friends) much anymore. I barley talk to him and hes the one who told me that my other best friend wanted to drop me. The only reason why I see my second and last best friend now is because i have 2 classes with her but besides that, i dont see her at all

and the best friend i lost i saw everyday in the morning and during his lunch when im on my way to choir speaking of best friends, my old bff adri keeps making me do her fucking bidding and idk dude and dani's birthday is now in 10 days- shes gonna be 14 dude ive known her since she was 10 and it breaks my heart we arent friends anymore and evan is gonna be 18 next month which is crazy- ive known him since he was 14. this is already a really hard year. with everything going on with my father, and him always yelling about him killing himself and gonna die soon, it only makes me think i'll lose him. I love my dad so fucking much dude- i cannot lose him but i see only the worst coming because of all this. If my dad dies when im still in these conditons im ggonna be with my mom for the rest of my highschool years, my stepmom will be gone, i'll never see my older brothers again, nor my cousin, or my stepmoms family. I'll be stuck with that fucking thing for the next 3 years all alone in this room where it feels like im always being chained to a wall. idk whats happening anymore- nothing makes sense i wanna give up- life isnt worth living- im about to lose all my online friends too dude im gonna go back to 2019- when i was gone from the internet for like 2 years and when i came back, everything and everyone was gone im gonna be all alone again and just trapped in my mind with my hallucinations and my nightmares my mom only encourages me to kill myself, shes the worst. My stepmom is more of a mom than her and I hate her a lot of the time too but I still love her just because she was here for me when my mom wasnt. My mom doesnt know my first words, she doesnt know what things i like, she doesnt know anything much about me. She has to go through my phone and look at my conversations when Im alseep. She doesnt even give me privacy. Meanwhile my stepmom knows me, but she doesnt know my first words cause she wasnt around when i was that young since i started talking at like 9 months old but like the point is shes there to help me with school, do everything for me, be there for me, and literally everything my mom has never ever in her pathetic little preppy pick me girl life. my dad told me that my mom made him almost killl himself- if he did, i would have been an orphan. my mom only takes care of me because of the childsupport money my dad is forced to give her every month. and she tried doubling it like a little bitch because i started calling my stepmom "mom". if my dad were to have killed himself, idk what the fuck my life would have been like but it might be better without her tbh and yeah like sure my dad used to be abusive as shit but my stepmom saved me from that and everything

so hes fine now i mean he had one slip back in march, but besides that hes been okay. i'll never like new years. not only do i have to think about my grandma who was murdered when my dad was only 9, but i have to worry for my father because its like the day he wants to die the most. This was the first year not being with him on new years to cheer him up- i was so worried, and it turned out i was right for being worried. Not getting into that. This year is so rough already within the first 3 days, I hate it I HATE IT SO MUCH DUDE. im sorry idk anymore. I fucking hate this

[drkcnry67]

ttile: my alpha, my omega

pairing: John x Reader

fluff 2020 sq: age gap

kink 2020 sq: daddy kink

Abo 2019 sq: older alpha/younger omega

rating: 18+

tags: WARNING: THIS IS NOT FOR MINORS!!!! THIS WILL GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES!!! DO NOT PROCEED AT ALL!!!!! I REPEAT NOT FOR ANYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 18… TURN BACK AROUND DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200, DO NOT HIT THAT KEEP READING THING… DO NOT PROCEED… THIS STORY CONTAINS VAGINAL PENETRATION, ORAL FEMALE RECEIVING, HARDCORE SEXUAL CONTENT, FEMALE HEAT, MALE RUT, ALPHA CLAIMING OMEGA, FIRST TIME SHOWER SEX, ALPHA KNOTTING OMEGA… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!!

summery: not telling

word count (optional)

kink 2020 masterlist  fluff 2020 masterlist   ABO 2019 Masterlist

Many centuries ago, in a land now known to the world as Russia.. lives a legend where monsters of myth and story roam… to the west side we travel for our story today where we meet YN a young omega who is unaware yet of her full potential…

YN a young single omega who lives with her aunt who has always let her be her own person… but this her 21st birthday was when she now had to go and find her Alpha… she was now on a journey that sooner rather than later would cross her path…

John a handsome rugged alpha whose passion in the 4th week after his 35th birthday would soon lead him to a city called Bucharest to seek out his omega who would be on a journey of her own to find her alpha…

~today~

you were walking through the streets it was another day, another day of go to various places and check on the small businesses you were involved in… your own aunt had refered you into some small business transactions that you were now in charge of…

walking through the center of town, your nose caught a strong scent, you began to follow it… you were not paying attention as always you were listening to everything around you… 

 As you grew so did your abilities, your strength, your speed, your smell, your hearing, your sight… but you sure as hell did not see this one coming… for just a few feet away from you was someone new to town, someone who neither of you knew at the time would soon both parties would be very very very INTIMATE with one another. 

You were close to the fountain in the center of town, john who was not paying attention either was sitting on the edge of the fountain watching and listening to the bustle of the city… You were the one who was stupid enough to not be able to sense this one… 

for you tripped over a stone and fell knocking both you and John into the fountain… this was how you both met… not the greatest way to meet someone but certainly a unique way of doing things… 

john was first to come up for air… he noticed you struggling so he reached out and grabbed you by the hand and pulled you out of the water… some people who worked at the business your family had you in charge of had witnessed the entire thing, they came over with blankets awaiting orders or at least one of them was…

the other was your cousin, Castiel… your cousin was standing there laughing, this earned a low growl from John as he helped wrap you in the blanket… then he wrapped himself in one… 

John: “are you alright?”

YN: “ill be fine, but i should be asking you that… its my fault your all wet in the first place… i should have…”

you stopped speaking when your nose picked up the scent that now sat beside you… this man, this man was an alpha, your alpha… 

John however was having a similar reaction, this was the start the start of something beautiful… 

Castiel and his collegue come up to you as your cousin begins being a 1st class dumbass… 

Castiel: “oh cuz you tumbled cause you werent paying attention, what a clutz… how the hell are you still alive with you being so clumbsy?”

you had to show some restraint… you had to try and assert some authority…

YN: “you there shadowing my cousin, is the nearby apartment owned by the family still open…?”

collegue 1: “yes ma’am would you like it stalked with food and clothes for you and your friend here?”

YN: “yes and get my cousin a mouth muzzle he needs to learn when to speak and when not to speak…” 

 You hissed that last word.. this made john realize how badly he wanted you right then right there.. he could feel the feistiness coming off of you.. this sent him straight into a rut… 

 You however were already entering heat, you could feel johns hands round your own and the fact that you kinda knocked him into the fountain wasnt much better… both of you were not mad about the incident… But you now had started shivering, John gently picked you up into his arms you began to lead the way… 

the apartment nearby was prepped and ready when you and John arrived… John set you down on your feet…

John: “leave us we will let you know if we need anything…”

the poor collegue left in a haste… John went to lock the door as he took off his wet jacket and hung it by the door… you stripped off your sweater and tossed it on the heater… 

John: “cute place… i dont suppose you are a single omega, are you?”

you nod as you kinda do a hair shake but shiver in the process… 

John: “you should shower to warm up… go on i might join you in a few moments… just gonna see if there are towels…”

you nod not caring… you slunk to the bathroom and start the shower before stripping off your wet clothes… you get into the shower and the hot water starts to warm you up as you just stand there not caring that John might join you, not caring that it was the middle of the day..

John outside the bathroom was taking off his wet clothing and making sure his head was clear and that he was fully mentally composed before heading into the bathroom where he knew you were behind the curtain…

you knew he was just outside the curtain, so you turned around and smiled quietly to yourself… John came into the shower and stood behind you… eyeing you up and down he felt something come over him… his senses going haywire… 

John: “fear not i wont hurt you sweet omega… why dont you let go of all the embarrassment from earlier and let loose with me?”

YN: “but dont you have to claim me before we “let loose” as you so put it…”

John: “are you okay if i claim you right here right now? i know you feel the same way about me as i do about you…”

YN: “claim me John i do feel the same way.. and i have a bad heat right now ive had it since before i knocked us into the fountain… help me daddy…”

John at that moment placed an arm around your waist, you placed your arm on interlocking fingers, his teeth changed into fangs he let off a low growl before spinning around so he was under the water as he sunk his fangs deep into your shoulder…

the feeling of being claimed made a loud shrill of moaning sound escape your lips... Blood flowed from the wound down between you and John just the feeling that you had been claimed was amazing... 

Then John released the bite, he spun you around and lifted you up placing you on his massive cock... He trusted hard into your virginity... He was getting as much pleasure from this as you were... The release came in waves, fast never slowing waves... 

John had you against the wall as he thrust into you again, his cock already rock hard again... your pussy throbbing for more, your moans turning soft to loud in seconds... the kissing was constant... the thrusts grew more and more frequent with each passing moment... 

with now being claimed every single rut and heat that you both had been feeling in the last week came on and on and on... escaping the shower after your recent release before it hit again you both got out of the shower and dried off...

John: “im gonna fuck you into the middle of next week...”

YN: “but the age gap the pack...”

John: “do we really care about that?”

YN: “no daddy of course not...”

John: “by the way keep calling me daddy and ill give you my knot alot sooner than we may plan to...”

YN: “yes daddy...”

John threw you onto the bed and climbed on top of you kissing you he was hard again, you felt him slide into you a moan released from your lips. the feeling of being fucked by your alpha had your mind going ten thousand miles a minute... 

Johns mind was dragging him through the dirt... both of you would have to face the pack leaders sooner or later... yea there are alphas but there is a council that guards every single decision made within each pack... 

one of those leaders happened to be your uncle... that leader had spies everywhere... he knew what was happening in that apartment right then... he was planning his attack... 

several hours later you and John were laying there waiting for John’s knot to take effect... covered by the thinnest sheet on the bed you were just happy to be in the arms of someone who cares deeply for you...

John: “when the knot finishes being released, we need to connect with our packs and face the trials of their thoughts on us...”

You knew he was right but you snuggled in closer, his beard tickling the back of your neck... thats when you both heard it the footsteps and running outside the door... 

John: “alright baby girl stay calm just move with me we cant let the knot escape your body...”

the door flung wide open John was pounding you into the bed as your uncle and his men walked inside...

Nazam: “excuse me what the hell is going on?”

YN: “be with you in a moment uncle...”

you and John finished and then snuggled back into a spoon this time with a thicker blanket over the naughty bits...

YN: “uncle, what an unplesent surprise what brings you and your lackys here?”

nazam: “dont play dumb with me... i can smell the blood, this man claimed you didnt he?”

John spoke at that moment keeping his arm around your waist...

John: “yes i did, my name is John winchester im the alpha for the north eastern pack... i came this way to find my omega... and i found her in the form of your niece... now like my omega here asked, What brings you here?”

Nazam: “well well well, let me see here ah yes im here to invite you both to the trials of rites tonight... there is still 8 hours for you both to prepare... now dont you dare take it lightly and if you think about skipping town we will deny the trial of rites by which instead you both will be exiled hunted and killed... that is all...”

YN: “leave this apartment uncle... we know our rights and legally im claimed by John he and i cant be seperated... and if need be i will fight you uncle...”

Nazam stands tall and eyes you with John...

Nazam: “i suppose you will stand by her side...”

John: “yes and i intend to marry your niece with or without the blessing of the packs... this is the life we both want and its together forever... i hope this knot that im releasing into your niece gets her pregnant the council’s laws prevent execution or seperation of the couple upon findout of pregnancy... now leave good day sir...”

nazam leaves his henchmen follow, your cousin’s friends come in and fix the door... you and John are left alone once more with eachother and your thoughts... 

John: “were you serious about fighting your uncle?”

YN: “were you serious about marrying me?”

John: “i guess we both have plans and together we shall conquer it all... now lets rest a bit before tonight so we both have strength to deal with what is to come...”

You smile as John still having you on his cock so his knot can finish flips you around so you both facing eachother as you both begin to nod off..

John: “yo lacky thats outside the door...”

Collegue 1: “yes sir...”

John: “wake us up in 7 hours we are going for a snooze..”

Collegue 1: “as you wish sir...”

the lacky left you felt John holding you close to his strong form as you drifted off into a sleep full of happy thoughts... John fell asleep shortly after you did... both of you dreaming of a life where no threats stood in the way of your better lives...

~thats all for now~

[knicole0527]

How Did I Fall For Unwritten History?

So I’m in a whole relationship right? Like a whole fat ass relationship. Like me plus her equals nobody else . Its kinda dope and kinda like coccaine . If she was a drug I’d take it . She grounds me . She makes love to my mind , heart , and then my body . Her way of words sometimes makes me feel stupid because she uses words I cant imagine using . My vocabulary aint that big . But ask me about math or science ? I’m definitely ya girl . She was my missing piece . If that makes any sense at all . We definitely have our rollercoasters but I’ll killl anyone over her and I stand on that . Best part its with who I chose and not who my parents chose or approved of. I actually dont care whether they approve of me or not. Mom didnt want kids anyways. As she put it, she likes “ a return to sender kid “ I know she used to joke about it but I later found it to be true. So at this point either you like my happiness or you dont. But anyways, So we met the first time at work, Afni Call Center to be exact. She was a bet. By bet I mean with green money with coworkers. So I bet that I would get smashed by this girl and they would each owe me 50 bucks. I mean who can turn down money. Plus she was kinda cute and I know she was watching my little booty when I would walk away . I was 80 pounds lighter when we first met .

But here lately things have gone to shit . I can admit I fucked up . Well in the beginning . I cheated . She found out . But I was honestly gone tell her everything but she found out I broke her heart all that and then some . Since I put all my business out there . Only reason why I cheated was because I wanted a kid . I wanted her for sure but I wanted a kid . As time passed us by I realized she doesn’t want kids at all . So I had to make a decision , kids or stick around for my one true love in my adult life . So I looked her in the face , I probably had tears In my eyes and told her I chose her . She looked at me with confusion for a little and I dont think she anted me to flat out give up kids. But I was gone doe what I had to do to keep her by my side .

Now before we get to me cheating . I had an apartment on Old Morgantown Road . I loved that damn space man . Hard wood flooring . Storage unit . I had a w/d hook up . I had a good apartment and I could afford it and be able to live my best life . Rent was 475 a month . Utilities and water ran me about 80 . So I was well within my budget . But my dumb ass got involved with this man who I thought I could change . I was trying to hear from nobody about nothing . I wasnt trying to hear that he was cheating because I felt like I gave him no reason to cheat . I was giving him everything and then some . Hell I let his stupid ass cousin stay on my couch . So they were living rent free right , I know stupid Kendra always doing dumb shit . I should have opened my eyes but I didn’t .

Well he and I are definitely no longer together . He got my little cousin pregnant . I dont know whats worse . That she knew he was still living with me . That she knew we was kin . That he knew we was still together , fucking and living together and I never ask for a dollar . Or that my bosses had to call me in the office with another one of my cousins and sit me down to tell and show me that he was cheating and she was pregnant . It even shocked me that she tried to question me about my niggas car . Like girl he and I live together so yes maam I’m gone drive his car . and she was in shock to see me in the drivers seat . huh . Aint that funny how it all played out though ? But you know , karma got took his dick for a minute . He got the worst news of his life . His heart was just as shattered as mine . His trust was screwed if not worse than mine . He found out that while he was too busy cheating on me , she was getting knocked down by his cousin . LMFAO SERIOUSLY . He did all that cheating and got that girl pregnant and ended up getting played himself . So while I was his woman , he had a side bitch who had a side nigga , but THE SIDE NIGGA HAD A SIDE BITCH . I hadnt had sex with him in a while because things started getting to me and I was becoming very suspicious so I was still going to get checked anyways . But yea . What a fckd up love hexagon . Crazy how we all worked together . But when I reached my snapping point . I became a little on the ratchet side and called his mom and told her come get her sons belongings because he was homeless again . My cousin didnt have her own spot so somebody had to come take care of him because by that time I was done pretending .

Shit got bad for me mentally . I had me fckd up . I lost my job and went broke because I drank and popped it away . I know definitely wasn’t the right thing but I just wanted to feel numb to everything . I didnt really care how I got high just as long as I as high I was okay and at peace .

Alot of time went by and my past came back . She made me feel safe . And she saw me ; like the actual me . She knew something was up . Hell I gained 50 pounds since the last time we seen each other . But when she came back . I dont know if I was more so excited to see her or trying to fuck her right there on the floor at work . I walked in the door and the moment I seen her ... I didnt care who I was talking to , I think Wanda , I’m sorry boo but I seen my old boo and just had to do it . I could not help myself I had to hug her before I did anything else . I had a little more weight on me too because during our last encounter , hmm hmm , I was a bit smaller and hadnt grown boobs yet . So when she seen me running 90 mph to her ; baby girl was in for a shock .

Time went by and we started seeing each other a little more outside of work . Then she started to spend the night . But when she started doing that , I think I made things a little complicated for her at her moms . I had no intentions of doing so but it kinda got weird because she wasnt coming home very much any more . But yall , when I had her all to myself . Do you know how many times I undressed this girl with my eyes . I mean she standing there fully clothed and I seen EVERY INCH of her thru them clothes . It was bad yall . lol . She kinda eventually sorda moved in ; even though I thought she had already moved in . Time went by and things were okay ya know . We were just in the “ talking “ phase and just filling each other out . She started to grow on me a little more than I planned . and then I wanna say it was my birthday or after ? Baby girl was so drunk . She , our mutual friend , and I went to go grab food and drinks . Weeellllllll , I trapped her into drinking and drinking and drinking . We got home ? and she drank and and got funnier as the night went on . I remember that day like it was yesterday and the videos I have are absolutely the funniest videos I have ever recorded . “ butt clouds “ and the car honk that about gave her a damn heart attack .

Anywho times have went on . We decided to go to hilltop and live there . Who would have thought we would live together because I was stern on not wanting to live with her . It was weird living there . Always wondering if or when we were going to get a roommate . Then ? Thats the first time I ever broke a heart . See , she was always wanting to like distinguish a title. Meanwhile I am petrified of titles and labels and shit . Plus I have labeled myself for so long I didnt want to put a label on she and I . So I waited and waited and waited and decided to test waters . By testing waters meaning , I caught baby fever BAD . LIKE BAD BAD . I wanted a kid so bad I didnt think about talking to her first , I was just hoping one day I could be like , surprise baby we are having a baby ; butttttt I was gonna tell her how I got pregnant IF if actually happened . But she kinda beat me to it . She seen the messages on her tablet and as you know it went to shit from there . I broke her heart . I wasnt sure if or when she would or could ever forgive me . ( its JAn232021 ) and I know she still hasn’t forgiven me for anything . Not sure if she will ever get past it enough to love me love me .

We made it official , May 2019. By that time the only things that mattered to me were building a life with her. Come August 2020 . We got a place together and as time went on, I knew something was wrong but I would rather ignore it than have to go to the doctor because that just aint my cup of tea. I hate doctors.. they always wanna diagnose people with shit. I just didn’t wanna be one of those people so I held out as long as I could before it got to the point of being unbearable . I lost yet another good job . At first they thought it was covid and it wasnt . I tested negative for covid . Then I had like 5 appointments that following week . I was put on all types of stuff . I was throwing up everything . I was crying non stop . I was doing things not in my normal regimen . Thats when things fell harder on her . Harder as in bills , and stress and everything . I became that burden . I became the thing in the relationship that puts everything on the line . I became the complete failure in the relationship .

I wasn’t able to help like I planned . in fact my checks were so small that every pay day because I had all my bills and people I owed money to on auto pay and I kept making promises, put me in the negatives . I was in the negatives for 3 to 4 months . So imagine being the one in the relationship who didnt feel welcome . Who didnt feel like I deserved the love and things like that . All I wanted to do was help out and I couldn’t . Made me want to pack up and wait until I knew she was gone so I could leave . I didn’t know what to do . But I knew I was pretty much of no use . I knew that she resented me . I knew it pushed things back so far it may never come back to normal .

But now , Im better than I was still struggling though .  But I have this amazing job . I have a job where I can do my part and not hurt . I have a job where I can finally help out now . But its not enough . I’m not enough . The love is not enough anymore . I have became disposable . I have become the one who broke and shattered her heart and trust in her adult love life . How do I come back from it ? How do I rescue something that may have already died ? Am I worth it ? Am I better off without ? Do I deserve her ? She deserves the world and I want to give it to her I do .

But idk , maybe my mom was right . just maybe the only things I’m good at are singing and laying on my back . Havent accomplished shit yet . Got banned from a job because I tried to put my hands on someone . Got fired from 3 good fucking jobs because of my health .

Im crashing at this point . My future is on edge . I am on edge . this is not cool dude . But I will play the hand I’m dealt . Maybe I will win and marry the woMAN of my dreams . Or maybe I will just fck it up once again . We Will See .

[legion1993]

my alpha, my omega

ttile: my alpha, my omega

pairing: John x Reader

fluff 2020 sq: age gap

kink 2020 sq: daddy kink

Abo 2019 sq: older alpha/younger omega

rating: 18+

tags: WARNING: THIS IS NOT FOR MINORS!!!! THIS WILL GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES!!! DO NOT PROCEED AT ALL!!!!! I REPEAT NOT FOR ANYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 18… TURN BACK AROUND DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200, DO NOT HIT THAT KEEP READING THING… DO NOT PROCEED… THIS STORY CONTAINS VAGINAL PENETRATION, ORAL FEMALE RECEIVING, HARDCORE SEXUAL CONTENT, FEMALE HEAT, MALE RUT, ALPHA CLAIMING OMEGA, FIRST TIME SHOWER SEX, ALPHA KNOTTING OMEGA… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!!

summery: not telling

word count (optional)

kink 2020 masterlist  fluff 2020 masterlist   ABO 2019 Masterlist

Many centuries ago, in a land now known to the world as Russia.. lives a legend where monsters of myth and story roam… to the west side we travel for our story today where we meet YN a young omega who is unaware yet of her full potential…

YN a young single omega who lives with her aunt who has always let her be her own person… but this her 21st birthday was when she now had to go and find her Alpha… she was now on a journey that sooner rather than later would cross her path…

John a handsome rugged alpha whose passion in the 4th week after his 35th birthday would soon lead him to a city called Bucharest to seek out his omega who would be on a journey of her own to find her alpha…

~today~

you were walking through the streets it was another day, another day of go to various places and check on the small businesses you were involved in… your own aunt had refered you into some small business transactions that you were now in charge of…

walking through the center of town, your nose caught a strong scent, you began to follow it… you were not paying attention as always you were listening to everything around you… 

 As you grew so did your abilities, your strength, your speed, your smell, your hearing, your sight… but you sure as hell did not see this one coming… for just a few feet away from you was someone new to town, someone who neither of you knew at the time would soon both parties would be very very very INTIMATE with one another. 

You were close to the fountain in the center of town, john who was not paying attention either was sitting on the edge of the fountain watching and listening to the bustle of the city… You were the one who was stupid enough to not be able to sense this one… 

for you tripped over a stone and fell knocking both you and John into the fountain… this was how you both met… not the greatest way to meet someone but certainly a unique way of doing things… 

john was first to come up for air… he noticed you struggling so he reached out and grabbed you by the hand and pulled you out of the water… some people who worked at the business your family had you in charge of had witnessed the entire thing, they came over with blankets awaiting orders or at least one of them was…

the other was your cousin, Castiel… your cousin was standing there laughing, this earned a low growl from John as he helped wrap you in the blanket… then he wrapped himself in one… 

John: “are you alright?”

YN: “ill be fine, but i should be asking you that… its my fault your all wet in the first place… i should have…”

you stopped speaking when your nose picked up the scent that now sat beside you… this man, this man was an alpha, your alpha… 

John however was having a similar reaction, this was the start the start of something beautiful… 

Castiel and his collegue come up to you as your cousin begins being a 1st class dumbass… 

Castiel: “oh cuz you tumbled cause you werent paying attention, what a clutz… how the hell are you still alive with you being so clumbsy?”

you had to show some restraint… you had to try and assert some authority…

YN: “you there shadowing my cousin, is the nearby apartment owned by the family still open…?”

collegue 1: “yes ma’am would you like it stalked with food and clothes for you and your friend here?”

YN: “yes and get my cousin a mouth muzzle he needs to learn when to speak and when not to speak…” 

 You hissed that last word.. this made john realize how badly he wanted you right then right there.. he could feel the feistiness coming off of you.. this sent him straight into a rut… 

 You however were already entering heat, you could feel johns hands round your own and the fact that you kinda knocked him into the fountain wasnt much better… both of you were not mad about the incident… But you now had started shivering, John gently picked you up into his arms you began to lead the way… 

the apartment nearby was prepped and ready when you and John arrived… John set you down on your feet…

John: “leave us we will let you know if we need anything…”

the poor collegue left in a haste… John went to lock the door as he took off his wet jacket and hung it by the door… you stripped off your sweater and tossed it on the heater… 

John: “cute place… i dont suppose you are a single omega, are you?”

you nod as you kinda do a hair shake but shiver in the process… 

John: “you should shower to warm up… go on i might join you in a few moments… just gonna see if there are towels…”

you nod not caring… you slunk to the bathroom and start the shower before stripping off your wet clothes… you get into the shower and the hot water starts to warm you up as you just stand there not caring that John might join you, not caring that it was the middle of the day..

John outside the bathroom was taking off his wet clothing and making sure his head was clear and that he was fully mentally composed before heading into the bathroom where he knew you were behind the curtain…

you knew he was just outside the curtain, so you turned around and smiled quietly to yourself… John came into the shower and stood behind you… eyeing you up and down he felt something come over him… his senses going haywire… 

John: “fear not i wont hurt you sweet omega… why dont you let go of all the embarrassment from earlier and let loose with me?”

YN: “but dont you have to claim me before we “let loose” as you so put it…”

John: “are you okay if i claim you right here right now? i know you feel the same way about me as i do about you…”

YN: “claim me John i do feel the same way.. and i have a bad heat right now ive had it since before i knocked us into the fountain… help me daddy…”

John at that moment placed an arm around your waist, you placed your arm on interlocking fingers, his teeth changed into fangs he let off a low growl before spinning around so he was under the water as he sunk his fangs deep into your shoulder…

the feeling of being claimed made a loud shrill of moaning sound escape your lips... Blood flowed from the wound down between you and John just the feeling that you had been claimed was amazing... 

Then John released the bite, he spun you around and lifted you up placing you on his massive cock... He trusted hard into your virginity... He was getting as much pleasure from this as you were... The release came in waves, fast never slowing waves... 

John had you against the wall as he thrust into you again, his cock already rock hard again... your pussy throbbing for more, your moans turning soft to loud in seconds... the kissing was constant... the thrusts grew more and more frequent with each passing moment... 

with now being claimed every single rut and heat that you both had been feeling in the last week came on and on and on... escaping the shower after your recent release before it hit again you both got out of the shower and dried off...

John: “im gonna fuck you into the middle of next week...”

YN: “but the age gap the pack...”

John: “do we really care about that?”

YN: “no daddy of course not...”

John: “by the way keep calling me daddy and ill give you my knot alot sooner than we may plan to...”

YN: “yes daddy...”

John threw you onto the bed and climbed on top of you kissing you he was hard again, you felt him slide into you a moan released from your lips. the feeling of being fucked by your alpha had your mind going ten thousand miles a minute... 

Johns mind was dragging him through the dirt... both of you would have to face the pack leaders sooner or later... yea there are alphas but there is a council that guards every single decision made within each pack... 

one of those leaders happened to be your uncle... that leader had spies everywhere... he knew what was happening in that apartment right then... he was planning his attack... 

several hours later you and John were laying there waiting for John’s knot to take effect... covered by the thinnest sheet on the bed you were just happy to be in the arms of someone who cares deeply for you...

John: “when the knot finishes being released, we need to connect with our packs and face the trials of their thoughts on us...”

You knew he was right but you snuggled in closer, his beard tickling the back of your neck... thats when you both heard it the footsteps and running outside the door... 

John: “alright baby girl stay calm just move with me we cant let the knot escape your body...”

the door flung wide open John was pounding you into the bed as your uncle and his men walked inside...

Nazam: “excuse me what the hell is going on?”

YN: “be with you in a moment uncle...”

you and John finished and then snuggled back into a spoon this time with a thicker blanket over the naughty bits...

YN: “uncle, what an unplesent surprise what brings you and your lackys here?”

nazam: “dont play dumb with me... i can smell the blood, this man claimed you didnt he?”

John spoke at that moment keeping his arm around your waist...

John: “yes i did, my name is John winchester im the alpha for the north eastern pack... i came this way to find my omega... and i found her in the form of your niece... now like my omega here asked, What brings you here?”

Nazam: “well well well, let me see here ah yes im here to invite you both to the trials of rites tonight... there is still 8 hours for you both to prepare... now dont you dare take it lightly and if you think about skipping town we will deny the trial of rites by which instead you both will be exiled hunted and killed... that is all...”

YN: “leave this apartment uncle... we know our rights and legally im claimed by John he and i cant be seperated... and if need be i will fight you uncle...”

Nazam stands tall and eyes you with John...

Nazam: “i suppose you will stand by her side...”

John: “yes and i intend to marry your niece with or without the blessing of the packs... this is the life we both want and its together forever... i hope this knot that im releasing into your niece gets her pregnant the council’s laws prevent execution or seperation of the couple upon findout of pregnancy... now leave good day sir...”

nazam leaves his henchmen follow, your cousin’s friends come in and fix the door... you and John are left alone once more with eachother and your thoughts... 

John: “were you serious about fighting your uncle?”

YN: “were you serious about marrying me?”

John: “i guess we both have plans and together we shall conquer it all... now lets rest a bit before tonight so we both have strength to deal with what is to come...”

You smile as John still having you on his cock so his knot can finish flips you around so you both facing eachother as you both begin to nod off..

John: “yo lacky thats outside the door...”

Collegue 1: “yes sir...”

John: “wake us up in 7 hours we are going for a snooze..”

Collegue 1: “as you wish sir...”

the lacky left you felt John holding you close to his strong form as you drifted off into a sleep full of happy thoughts... John fell asleep shortly after you did... both of you dreaming of a life where no threats stood in the way of your better lives...

~thats all for now~

[fuck-customers]

Holy Shit Buckle Up Y'all

(TW: mentions of transphobia, racism, and self-harm)

A little backstory:

In November we hired three new people to help with our workload around the holidays, and we've kept them on. Two of them are very hard workers, have great personalities, and nice work ethics. The third, who I will be referring to as J.....does not.

She constantly asks to switch shifts instead of putting in for time off or changing her availability (said that its "inconvenient" for her to change it), if you're even a minute late to covering register for her when she's supposed to get off, she'll just abandon the register and clock out and then shop for thirty minutes, and she is constantly walking away from her post bc she's "bored" and "doesn't feel like working" when there are literally people in line.

So about two weeks ago, she scheduled for five days off. Sweet, shes learning. She then proceeds to call off the day before her five days and the day after. So now she has a week off. Dick move, but I can't say no one has done it before.

Her scheduled day back is a Wednesday. She texts one of my coworkers, P, and asks her to take her shifts for Wednesday AND Thursday. P agrees because she wants more hours, but all of us, including the managers, are irritated now. This is now nine days off she's gotten.

On Wednesday, I got a text from her asking if I could take her shift Friday. Now as of this point, I've been sick all week - hacking my lungs out, not able to breathe, but working bc we're short staffed (bc of her) and bc I need the money. I had Friday and Saturday off for the first time in MONTHS so no way in hell was I gonna take it. I just said no, firmly.

She continues to pester me, asking why, since I don't work Friday I should be able to, etc, and I kind of snapped:

Which, okay, maybe I shouldn't have snapped like that. But I was exhausted and frustrated and so sick of her getting to do this that I just couldn't take it anymore. I expected her to call me a bitch and then ignore me but hoooooo boy nope. (Names are blacked out) (and if this many photos aren't allowed feel free to delete this submission)

First of all, the racism comment:

She was buying cigarettes and even though shes a coworker, I have to ID her bc she's 19 and I can get fired for that shit. She told me she had lost her ID and asked to just put her birthday in. My manager said it was fine, so I did, and I made the offhanded comment about how she should get a new one so she didn't get pulled over by a racist dick while driving. We live in an area where the cops just looovvve to profile people (if you know Ohio, you know where) and I'd had that conversation with so many of my friends that I didn't even think about it, I was just concerned about her getting home safely to her kid. She didn't react negatively at the time, just said "oh I didn't think about that, thanks" and we moved on. If she had really had an issue with it she would have spoken to our managers, so clearly she's only bringing it up now to scare me. I just.....I mean obviously if I am being racist I want someone to tell me so I can fix my actions, but I didn't even think that came off that way in the moment. Maybe I was out of line, but the same thing has happened recently to my 16 year old cousin (he's fine dw) and so its been on my mind.

Second, no, I am not a manager. But aside from four other employees, two of which only work part time, I am one of the oldest members of staff (time wise, not age wise, I'm 23). So the managers put me in charge of a lot of shit, which means that I end up being in charge of people. Which apparently she did not like.

And third no, I do not have a kid. I'm not married, I don't have a partner, and I barely have the income to make half of rent with my roommate sometimes. I would not bring a child into this world if I could help it, and it pissed me off that she would imply that if I had a child, I'd be more mature. I wanted to scream at her and tell her that if having a kid makes you more mature, it clearly didn't work for her. I feel so bad for her kid; he's like two, and she's already constantly using him as an excuse for not doing things and not going to work. She lives with her mom and her boyfriend, so she has a support system (her mom is retired, and a very sweet lady). Like again, I don't have a kid, but all my coworkers who do don't pull this shit ever.

Anyway

I was physically shaking by the end of these texts, crying, because I HATE when people yell at me, especially when they know me IRL. And especially cause she was accusing me of some nasty shit. I sent them all to my manager in the least professional set of texts I'd ever written and then two hours later had to go to work.

My depression was up, my anxiety was through the roof, and as soon as our floater manager asked me if I was okay I burst into tears again. I showed her and the closing manager the texts and they were both appalled but then

They fucking started trying to "comfort" me by making racist comments!!! "Oh, thats just what her people are like" "you know she grew up in the ghetto part of town" "that girl is straight up hood" like!!!!

I was furious. I was so mad it wasn't funny, but they're my MANAGERS and i need this job and they're both old, so they don't think what they're saying is wrong. I tried desperately to derail it by saying things like "where she grew up had nothing to do with it" but they just kept going and I just....that made it so much worse tbh I just walked out of the office to do my fucking job.

A couple hours later, right as I've started to calm down, one of my coworkers started making really transphobic comments about one of our old coworkers who I'm still friends with, deadnaming her, saying that she's allowed to deadname her bc its part of her religion, etc etc.

Y'all I just....walked behind the photo counter and had a fucking meltdown on the floor. I dragged myself to the pharmacy to get their trash so I had SOMETHING to focus on and as soon as I got there the tech took one look at me and held out her arms and I just lost it again.

I go to my manager and basically just ask to do trash and go home. I was supposed to close, and I have left early only once in my life, when we were too dead to need me, but I had just mentally had it. I knew that if I didn't leave in that moment I wasn't going to make it to the end of the night without hurting myself.

She agreed, I finished trash, and got one of my friends to come pick me up.

My GM texts me the next morning (Thursday) and says she's giving me PTO for the hours I didn't work Wednesday night and for my day off on Friday. I almost cried again bc I was so stressed about the money.

Fast forward to a week later, today, and J still has a job, but she has now also called off 16 days in a row. Claiming she's still stuck in Texas with her kid (which was why she was asking to trade shifts last week).

I don't know how much longer my GM can hold out before firing her. I really don't.

Tldr; coworker asks me to take a shift for the hundredth time after calling out for a week, I say no (albeit a bit rudely), they start screaming at me via text, and I have a mental breakdown.

[spidey-babe-parker]

Fragile Line

chapter 5:

oh, holding my breath

Inspired: Beauty and the Beast 

Featuring: Bucky Barnes

warnings: angst, tears, sadness, oh and yeah smut happens... finally.

an: So it’s been forever and a day, and I’m sorry about that. There might be one more chapter of this if people like actually want epilogue chapter. Also Infinity War totally didn’t happen in this story for many reasons.

 I’m starting almost done with a Drunk Bucky Barnes college au mini series, that I’m trying to finish so that’s going up soon. Oh and the next next fairy tale inspire story is going to be the modern day little mermaid story with Steve Rogers and Bucky is going to pop up in that.

Series Masterlist: links are broken, the series masterlist is in my masterlist. The link is in the bio.

Lydia listened to what Steve has told her to do. She got down to Amsterdam and checked into a hotel with nothing but her duffle bag and purse. She watched as the feud between Iron Man and Captain America played out in front of the world.

After the constant coverage it got to the point, she couldn’t watch it anymore.

She couldn’t believe all of this seemed to be happening over Bucky. Who was being framed for something he didn’t even do.

She went into to town to find a bookstore so she could find a something to reader to keep herself distracted. She avoided seeing newspapers or watching TV. She didn’t want to read the horrible things that everyone was saying about Bucky Barnes. She saw over and over again he was being referred to as the assassin the Winter Soldier. She couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that some people considered him to be a killer. The man who rescued her who seemed more afraid of himself didn’t seem like the man who would kill people. She knew he had a dark past but she knew he didn’t have any control over who he was or what he did. He wasn’t the monster they were making him out to be.

It had been two weeks since she last saw Bucky, and she missed him. She missed constantly having him around even if they didn’t talk much. She just felt safe being around him and she like his presence. On the fifteenth day they had been apart she opened the door to her hotel and found a flip phone with a text on it. It simply read “meet me at the café rose at 8:30am”. She didn’t have a doubt in her mind that it was Steve finally coming to let her know she could leave. That night she nervously sat around. She was worried Steve was going to tell her something bad happened to Bucky. That night she didn’t get much sleep, she tossed and turned and a dream about being with Bucky again.

She got dressed and headed into town in the early morning. At eight thirty she walked up to Café Rose to find Steve Rogers sitting outside with a baseball had on and sunglasses. Slowly she walked over and sat down across from him. She could tell something was wrong, he just looked sad.

“Morning,” he softly said.

“Morning,” she replied not exactly what else she should say. She hadn’t ever talked to Steve outside of the time Steve found her in Bucky’s apartment.

“Before you ask, he’s safe and hidden away from everyone,” he looked over at the girl who seemed to be on the verge of tears right in front of him.

She let out a soft sigh and nodded her head knowing that him being hidden away was for the best.

“He’s not hurt at all?” she asked knowing there had been a big fight in an airport in Germany.

Steve sighed and her heart dropped at the thought of him being hurt. “He got pretty beat up and his metal arm gotten taken off.”

She gasped and reached up to cover her mouth. She suddenly wanted to cry at the thought that he lost his arm again. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah he’s fine I took him somewhere where he can get a new arm and he’ll be okay,” Steve sounded so calm and it was making her feel better about the situation.

“Where is he?” she asked.

Steve let out a heavy sigh and looked down at the table that had a coffee sitting in front of him, “Lydia I can’t tell you that unfortunately. I can’t let anyone know where he is. I can only keep him safe if nobody knows where he is.”

She knew he wouldn’t be able to tell her, but there was a part of her that wished he could, “is he still having nightmares?”

He shook his head, “no he won’t anymore. Where we took him, they’re going to fix him and take away what Hydra put in his mind away.”

Her eyes grew wide and started to brim with tears, “please tell me you’re not gonna wipe him.” She felt bile crawl up her throat at just the thought of someone wiping Bucky again, when he was just getting some of his memories back.

Steve’s own blue eye grew wide as he reached across the table and placed his hand on top of hers, “oh god no, I will never let that happen to him again.” He paused for a moment. “Were trying to get him back to being normal Bucky. I don’t want them to ever be able to trigger him again.”

She nodded her head trusting Steve. From what she had read in the last two weeks, Steve and Bucky were childhood best friends. She knew that he cared for Bucky as much as her.

“What happens from here?” she asked knowing that Bucky was never going to be in her life again. It was finally time for her to go home to the states for a while. She just needed to hear what Steve thought she should do.

“I’m going to go into hiding and you should probably leave Europe for a little while. If anyone ask about your time in Romania don’t let anyone know you knew who he was.”

“Okay will do.”

-&-

She had been home back in the states for about two months. She moved back into her parent’s house. When she first came home, they asked her loads of questions of about her time in Romania. She didn’t tell them much other than she worked in a café. She worked on restarting her life back in the states. She had just started working at a coffee shop in her town. Her life was simple and she knew that, but since coming home she felt like something was missing. She knew it probably had to do with the fact she never actually got to say goodbye to Bucky. The last time she saw him was the morning in the safe house after they shared a kiss. She had fallen in love with the man that saved her life, and now here she was having to live her life acting as if she had never met him.

She often heard people talking in the coffee shop about Steve Rogers and Tony Stark. Every time she heard Steve’s name, she would help but listen in at the thought that maybe they might mention Bucky. After everything had originally happened Bucky’s picture was plastered across magazines most of them referred to him as the Winter Soldier one of the deadliest assassins to live. It always made her sick to her stomach reading about him, because she knew the Winter Soldier wasn’t truly Bucky. That was who the people who wiped him turned him into. She hated that people didn’t know the Bucky she knew, and they never really would.

Three years later

Sitting in the kitchen at her parent’s house she was listening to her parents talking about her birthday that was tomorrow. She hadn’t even actually thought about her birthday her mind had seemed to be in other places recently.

“What are your birthday plans Lydia?” her mother asked grabbing her attention.

“What?” she looked up from her coffee that was sitting on kitchen table in front of her.

Her mother gave her an unamused look as she knit her eyebrows together, “Lydia have you even been listening to me or your father?”

“Sorry I zoned out,” she picked up the large cup of coffee and brought it up to her lips. Her eye looked at her mother who gently shook her head at her daughter.

“Did you want to have dinner tonight with us?” she asked her daughter.

Nodding her head, she gave her mother a half smile, “yeah I’m going out tonight with some friends and people from work tonight. So, tomorrow is perfect.”

-&-

Walking into the crowed bar with some friends and coworkers, she couldn’t help but wonder if she made a mistake by going out. She wasn’t ever a person who enjoyed going to crowed bars, and she wasn’t sure why she thought going to one with all her friends to celebrate her birthday would be a good idea.

Standing at the bar next to her friend Allie she was listening to her go on and on about her cousin who she thought would be a great match for Lydia. Allie had been a friend of hers since high school, and she was on a mission to find Lydia a man, even though she had told her often she wasn’t interested in dating. Allie like everyone else had no clue about Lydia’s time with Bucky. She just assumed that Lydia didn’t want to take because of her terrible break up before she left to move to Romania.

“Lydia you and Kyle would get along amazing, why do you at least go on one date with him?” Allie asked before taking a sip of her cranberry and vodka.

“Allie I’m not interested in dating,” she sighed looking down at her drink that was sitting on the bar.

“Come on Lydia one date wouldn’t kill you,” Allie wasn’t ready to give up on getting her friend to go out on a date.

“Allie maybe another time,” she picked up her drink and walked over to the table where the rest the group was sitting.

Allie followed behind her friend, and shouted to the group, “someone buy the birthday a shot we need to get her drunk.”

Lydia did nothing but roll her eyes as she sat down at the table. Moments later some of the group were waving down a waitress to order her a couple shots. She groaned as two shots of tequila were sitting in front of her. Taking both shots, she shook her head as the gold colored liquid slid down her throat.

Soon she was being dragged on to the dance for in the corner of the bar and was dancing with some friends. The gold liquid left her feeling slightly tipsy, few people offered to buy her drinks, but she turned them down not wanting to get drunk. As the clock struck midnight, she said her goodbyes to her friends telling them she couldn’t stay out super late because she had family stuff to do the next morning.

Walking outside she hailed a cab. Luckily the bar she was out wasn’t too far from her apartment. The warm feeling of the alcohol flushed through her system as she walked up to the elevator in the lobby of her apartment building. Clicking the button, the doors to the elevator opened and walked inside alone. Leaning against the wall of the elevator she couldn’t help but wonder if she should have maybe stayed at the bar for another hour, but for some reason she wasn’t really in the mood to celebrate her birthday. As the elevator doors opened as stepped out into the hallway. She saw a man in a hoodie standing in front of her door and she suddenly got nervous, she was tempted to go back to the bar instead of walking up to the man. Before she could even decide what to do a familiar face turned and looked at her.

Her heart jumped at the sight of Bucky standing at her door. Her eyes went wide as her eyes locked onto his icy blue ones. Without even thinking she took off running down the hall towards him. The second she got to him she wrapped her arms around him holding his body close to hers. “Bucky,” she muttered as tears started to slide down her face.

“Lydia,” his metal hand rubbed her back holding on to her.

As she held onto him tightly afraid if she let go of him, he would disappear again. Her body shook gently as she held on to him.

Pulling away from him slowly she looked up at him with watery eyes. She was still in a state of disbelief that Bucky was standing in the hallway in front of her apartment. She reached up placed her hand on his scruff covered cheek. A soft smile formed on his lips as his blue eyes stayed lock onto her eyes.

They hadn’t said a single word to each other, other then their names. She still seemed to be in a state of disbelief that she was with Bucky again, and he was shocked that she wasn’t mad at him for leaving her.

Leaning down he rested his forehead against her taking in her presence.

She wasn’t even sure what she should say to him right then. She had no clue where he had been for the last three years, and even though she thought about him often. She was constantly trying to remind herself that most likely she was never going to get to reunite with the man standing in front of her.

“I’m sorry I left you and never said goodbye,” he whispered breaking the silence that was between them.

She closed her eyes pushing back the tears that had formed between them. Reaching up he rested his hand on her cheek, and his thumb reached up an brushed the tears off her cheek.

“You didn’t have choice,” she said softly.

“Can we maybe go inside and talk?” he asked pulling away from her.

Nodding her head, she reached into her purse to pull out her keys. Bucky took another step away so she could the door. Walking side she set her purse on the floor and walked over to the couch in the living room. Bucky followed behind her and sat down on the couch next to her.

They stared at each other for a long moment neither of them exactly sure what they should say to each other. She reached over and rested her hand on thigh, and gave him a soft smile.

“I’m assuming you have a lot of questions,” he said softly knowing that three years had passed since they had seen each other and she had to have some questions.

“How did you find me?”

“Steve tracked you down for me,” he reached over and rested his hand on top of hers and gently squeezed her hand.

At the mention of Steve’s name, she couldn’t help but wonder if Steve had told Bucky that she thought she loved him all those years ago. She couldn’t lie that even with three years passing she was pretty sure she loved the man that was sitting next to her.

“Did he tell you that he met up with me after Germany?”

He nodded his head, “I asked him to make sure you were safe. I had him check on you occasionally.”

She nodded her head not exactly sure what else she should ask him, she was still completely blown away by the fact that she was seeing him again. “Are you still having nightmares?”

He shook his head, “no, they were finally able to take away what Hydra put in me.”

He gave her a gentle half smile that suddenly gave her butterflies.

“This might embarrass me, but did Steve possibly tell you how I felt about you?” her heart raced at the thought of Bucky rejecting her feeling she felt for him three years ago, especially since she still had those feelings.

Slowly he nodded his head, “he told me about them a little while ago. He also made sure to bring you up often. He knew you were one of the only real things in my life in the last seventy years.”

Tears started to slide down her cheek slowly, “when he found me that day, I honestly thought I was never going to see you again. We had shared that kiss that morning and I thought things were getting better for you…” she paused for a moment reliving that morning. “I should over never ask for you to go out and get fruit. We might have had more time together,” she couldn’t help but cry feeling suddenly guilty.

“Hey,” he reached up placing his hand on her cheek so she was looking up at him. “We were living on borrowed time. If I didn’t go out that morning, I was eventually going to go out again, they were going to find me at some point. I’m just glad that Steve found you and not someone else.”

She nodded her head and asked him the one thing she needed to know in that moment, “are we on borrowed time right now?”

He shook his head, “no I’m not going anywhere unless you ask me to.”

“Okay good because I’m not ready to lose you again.”

“Lydia, just so you know, I felt the same way you did back then.”

She couldn’t help but smile. Reaching up she placed her hand on his wrist that was resting on her cheek, “do you still have those feelings?”

She needed to know, even if he didn’t it wouldn’t change how she felt then or now.

He nodded his head, “you’re still the realest thing that has ever been in my life.”

“That makes me feel better knowing that I’m the only one with those feelings,” she said softly causing him to smile.

“Are you single?” he asked completely out of nowhere.

Her brows furrowed together as she gave him a confused look, “yes, why?”

“Because I would like to kiss you again, but I want to make sure you’re not taken.”

Her eyes lit up at the thought of them sharing another kiss. “I would love for you to kiss me.”

Without another word he leaned forward and connected his lips to hers for a gentle kiss. His lips moved against hers slowly as if he was testing the waters. Pulling away from her he couldn’t help but smile, he had waited a long time before he was able to see her again, and here he was being able to kiss her again.

“I have missed you so much,” she whispered.

“I missed you too, I know I have been gone for a while, but they fixed me.”

Even though they had taken out what Hydra put in him, Bucky was still left with what he had done under his control. He felt a substantial amount of guilt for the people he had hurt because of Hydra.

“Why does it sound like you don’t feel like you’re fully fix?” she asked knowing that by his tone he still sounded guilty.

“I will never be able to forget what I did because of them. Even being wiped I’m still left with the memories are coming back,” he sighed.

“Hey, we’ve been over this, you weren’t in control you aren’t a monster. You didn’t do those things,” she sighed shaking her head.

“I know, that’s what Steve reminds me of all the time.”

“Bucky what happens now?” she asked needing to know if eventually he was going to leave again.

“I don’t exactly have a plan, I asked Steve to track you down. I told him I needed to see you, I wasn’t sure if you had a boyfriend or something, but needed to see you again.”

She smiled, “I’m glad you tracked me down, because in the last three year I have thought about you often.”

He reached up and pushed a piece of hair behind her ear and asked, “where were you tonight?”

She let out a heavy sigh, “I went to the bar with some friends to celebrate my birthday.”

His eyes went wide at the mention of her birthday, “it’s your birthday?”

She smirked at how caught off guard he sounded, “well technically since it’s after midnight yes it’s my birthday.”

“I wish Steve would have told me that I would of brought you a gift,” he sighed feeling suddenly stupid that he didn’t know this information.

“I don’t really need a gift. See you again is enough,” she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his again for a soft kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him close to her, she didn’t think she would get over the fact that she was able to kiss him again. Pulling away from him she looked over at the clock to see that it was one in the morning. “Did you maybe want to stay the night? It’s late and I’m exhausted, but I’m not ready for you to leave again.”

He nodded his head, he couldn’t lie he thought about the nights he shared wrapped up in her arm held close against her curvy body.

“I would really like to stay the night.”

Standing up she reached over and laced her fingers with Bucky metal fingers and led him down the hallway towards her bedroom. She dropped his hand and walked towards her dresser to grab her pajamas.

“You can sleep how ever you want. If you want to sleep in your boxers,” she as she walked towards the bathroom so she could take off her makeup and get ready for bed.

She removed her make up and washed her face and changed into her pajamas. Walking back into her bedroom she found Bucky sitting on the edge of the bed in nothing but his boxers. Walking over to him she moved to stand in front of him, he looked up and smiled at her. He never in his wildest dreams thought he would see her again, let alone get to share a bed with her again. Reaching up he gently took her hand and pulled her closer to him. Standing up he moved to press her lips to his for another kiss.

“How are you even real?” he asked wondering how he found her.

“I’m pretty average at most,” she whispered as his hands moved to her round hips.

He shook his, “you are far from average Lydia. You are perfect.”

Before she could even say anything sat back down on the bed and pulled her onto his lap so she was straddling him as he sat on the edge of the bed. Reaching up he held her face in both hands staring at her.

“I don’t know what happens tomorrow, for all I know you could kick me out and tell me to leave…” he paused for a moment to stare into her eyes. “But I would love to share one real night with you.”

“Bucky I would never kick you out and tell you to leave,” she leaned down and connected her lips to his for an intense kiss. Their lips moved together as if they need the other to breathe. Her fingers tangled in his long hair hold him close to her as his hand gripped her round hips grinding her against him. There tongued moved together as she rolled her hips gently against him. His lips moved from her mouth and started kissing down her jaw. As his beard tickled her skin, she couldn’t help but moan at the feeling of his lips against her skin. His metal hand pushed her shirt up exposing the metal of his touch to her bare skin. The cool metal sent a shiver down her spine in the best way possible. Tilting her head back she gave him more access to her exposed skin.

Pulling his lips away from her skin he reached down for the bottom of her shirt. Pulling it off he couldn’t help but groan at the sight of her bare chest in front of her. He licked his lips before his lips moved to kiss her collarbones, before working his way to her bare chest. His lips kissed her sensitive skin as she grinded her hips against his grown bugled.

“Bucky, I need more,” she moaned.

With his lips ghosting her skin he spoke, “I didn’t come to see you with the intention of this happening.”

“I know you didn’t, but I need all of you,” she sighed as his lips peppered kisses across her skin. “I have missed you so much, and I just need all of you.”

He pulled his lips away from her skin, and in one quick motion stood up holding Lydia’s curvy body as if she weighed nothing. Her eyes went wide as he held onto her. She attempted to have him put her down but before she could say something he said, “you weigh nothing to me, quit freaking out.”

He moved and laid her down on the bed. Reaching up to her curvy hips he hooked his fingers into the band of her pajama shorts and panties, and pulled them both down in one quick motion. Laying on the bed completely naked in front of him she sat back on her elbows and watched as Bucky removed his boxers leaving him naked and proud in front of her.

“Do you have a condom?” he asked sounding slightly nervous.

Nodding her head, she moved to reach into the top drawer of her nightstand and pulled out a foil packet. Holding the foil packet out Bucky took it and tore it open and slowly slid the rubbed down his length. She watched with lust filled eyes as he pumped his length a few times before crawled into the bed. Lying next to her he connected his lips to hers for a searing kiss as his flesh hand moved down to her sensitive mound, his finger slid up and down for slit a few times before his fingers did lazy circle on her bundle of nerves while their lips moved together. He was attempting to give her some foreplay before. Pulling his lips away he continued to move his finger against her bundle of nerves causing to moan her name.

“Lydia what to you want?” he asked lying next to her.

“All of you,” she moaned.

Pulling his fingers away from her, he moved so he was hovering over her. She reached down and helped line him up with her entrance. Slowly he slid in and she gasped at his size, it had a been a really long time since she had sex. She was going to need a moment to adjust to his size. Once he was fulling in, he stilled for a moment giving her time to adjust. Her head rolled back as she took a deep breath and then looked up at Bucky who was staring out with lust blown eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asked feeling suddenly worried at the was hurting her.

“Yeah I’m fine, I just need a moment,” she said giving him a soft smile. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers for a soft kiss. “Go head and move,” she said with his lips still brushing hers.

With a slowly roll he started to move his hips against hers. Her hands moved up to grip his back as he continued to move into her. Groaned as his hips thrust into hers picking up the pace slightly. In all the time that had passed since they had last seen each other, he didn’t think he would ever get to be with her. In his mind back then he thought that they might event sleep together, especially after they had kiss, but then again, he wasn’t sure if she ever would want to do this with him.

“Bucky,” she moaned.

“Baby,” he groaned dropping his head to her shoulder. He started placing wet kisses across her bare skin. She moved her hands down to his butt pulling him as close as possible with every thrust. His teeth gently dragged across the skin of her shoulder as he moaned her name. He was getting close to the edge and he needed her to finish before him.

“Are you close?” he asked.

“Yeah Bucky,” she moaned as he picked up the pace.

Biting her bottom lip, she rolled her back moaning. Her fingers dug into his tone butt pulling him closer. With a few more thrust he pushed her over the edge. Her hands moved from his but up to his face pulling him closer to her so she could kiss him as she rode out her high. She moaned into his kiss as he rolled his hips a few times before hitting his own high. With a couple sloppy thrust he rode out his high before stilling his hips as he kissed. Pulling away from her he rolled off her and laid on the bed next to her. Silently he discarded the condom, and reached over to pulled her curvy body close to him.

She was left in a dazed state as she curled up next to him.

“Don’t ever leave me again,” she whispered as she was coming down from her high.

“I won’t ever let anything take me away from you again,” he leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of her head.

All my taglist are open. Let me know if you want to be tagged in the Steve Little Mermaid Modern day AU story.

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[the--blackdahlia]

Natural Born Killers Chapter 8 (Sam x Dean)

Title: Natural Born Killers Chapter 9

Summary:  It started as an accident. That’s what it was. But things escalated from there and now the law wants Dean Winchester, one way or another.

Warnings: Language

AN:  So, after I wrote this chapter, I realized that same-sex marriage was not legal in California until later. So, let's just pretend this is an AU where it's a little more accepted/legal in the early 2000's.

Present

“Your file says you graduated from St. Joseph high school.” Victor said, looking at Sam.

“That’s right.” Sam said.

“Was this before or after your dad died?” Victor asked.

“Why does it matter?” Sam asked. “I graduated. That’s all that matters, right?”

“I’m just very impressed to be honest.” Victor told him. “I mean, you have to have had at least a hundred schools under your belt. You stayed at St. Joseph for about two years it seems. And then you graduated salutatorian and got a full ride scholarship to Stanford. That’s pretty good for a prime candidate for foster care.” Sam just rolled his eyes. “Tell me about Stanford Sam. What led up to it. All of it.”

****

2001

It was a few days after Dean’s birthday when the envelope showed up. Sam had applied at Stanford, as well as Notre Dame, UCLA, and some various Michigan and Indiana colleges. The trail of letters had slowly been trailing in. But this one was different. And when Sam opened it, he knew his life was going to change.

“Dean?” Sam said into the phone. Dean was at work. He was working a little later throughout the week so he could have his weekends with Sam. It didn’t always work out that way, but since he had proven himself to be such a good mechanic, his boss tried to work things out for him.

“Sammy? What is it? What’s wrong?” Dean asked.

“I have something big to tell you.” Sam said. “I don’t know if I should tell you now though…” Dean’s heart was beating hard. What was wrong with his Sammy? “De?”

“Are you okay?” Dean asked, his voice a little unsure. Sam was smiling, not that Dean could see.

“De, how do you feel about California?” Sam asked.

“What?” Dean asked, confused.

“Well, I got a full ride scholarship to Stanford, so…” Sam said. Dean was silent at the other end of the line. Then Sam heard him yelling and could make out words of excitement.

“Oh my god Sammy! That’s the best news I’ve heard all day!” Dean told him. “When I get home, we’ll celebrate! Fuck, I’m so proud of you!”

****

“I have to live on campus.” Sam groaned as he tossed all his information on the coffee table and dramatically threw himself on the couch. Dean looked up from the movie he was watching.

“Says who?” Dean asked.

“Says Stanford.” Sam said. “The only way I don’t have to is if I have proof I’m living with my parents, there are accommodations that I need that they can’t provide, or I have proof that I’m married or in a domestic partnership.” Sam looked up at Dean. “So I guess I’ll be living in a dorm for at least the first year.”

“Give me some time.” Dean said. “I’ll make sure you can stay with me baby boy.”

****

The big day came not too long after Sam turned 18. He was one of the youngest in his class it seemed, but he was so excited. He had made friends with a bunch of people over the two years he was there, and even walked with Kaelyn, a girl that was in his photography club with him. He had worked his ass off over the past two years, taking as many AP classes and activities as he could to beef him up to colleges. Him and Dean hadn’t been hunting a lot, but he wanted to make sure they never had to rely on hustling pool or anything like that ever again.

Sam gave a beautiful speech and man, Dean was so ready to jump up and applaud every word that came out of his mouth. Dean hadn’t graduated high school, so he didn’t really see the joy in sitting in a gym for hours while kids talked about following their dreams and such. But seeing Sam in that dark blue gown, standing up at the podium to give hi speech, filled Dean’s heart with so much love.

And then he got his diploma and Dean was on his feet, cheering his blushing little brother.

“So where are you off to after this?” Kaelyn asked Sam as they all stood around, hugging each other.

“We’re moving out to Palo Alto so I can attend Stanford in the fall.” Sam said shyly. He didn’t like boasting about himself. Only a few of his friends knew about the full ride.

“That’s right Mr. Smart Stuff.” Kaelyn laughed and hugged him. “Well, I’ll send you my address when I settle in my dorm at the U of M.” She smiled at Sam, like she wanted to ask him something, but Dean came up and put a hand on Sam’s shoulder and Kaelyn blushed. She had a major crush on Dean.

“Well, I’ll send a postcard to your home address when I get settled up in Palo Alto so you have the address.” Sam said. “I’ll miss you Kaelyn.”

“I’ll miss you too Sam. And Dean.” She said, her face turning a bit redder. Sam and Dean made their way towards Baby. Sam had gotten pictures with his friends and they all promised to send him a copy when they were printed. Dean had a disposable camera he had gotten at CVS and the roll was filled with nothing but Sam at his graduation.

“I thought we could order Chinese and stay in for the rest of the night.” Dean told Sam. “The house we picked out over spring break is ready for us to move in. Dan and Tiffany are sad to see us go. They said we’re the best renters they’ve had in awhile.”

“Yeah, sounds good.” Sam said, staring out the window. Dean frowned a little. He knew Sam had been stressing about the housing situation for awhile. If he could prove that he needed to live off campus, the money from his scholarship that would be put towards room and board would be given to help offset a rent or mortgage. Because Palo Alto was expensive. But they had found a cute little place not too far from campus. It was the cousin of Dean’s boss’ place, and he wanted to sell to head east.

When they got home, Dean placed an order at the Chinese place and went to their bedroom to watch Sam change out of the dress clothes he had worn under his gown and slid into some sweats and a t-shirt. Dean wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed on his neck.

“I’ve got a surprise for you.” Dean murmured against him. “Go sit down and I’ll bring it out.”

“Mmmm, okay.” Sam said, moving away from Dean and settling himself on the couch in the living room. Dean took a couple minutes but came out with an envelope. Sam looked up at Dean. He had been getting cards and such in the mail from people like Bobby and Jim who wanted to congratulate him for all his hard work. Sam just thought it was one of those.

“You didn’t have to get me a card.” Sam said, taking the envelope from Dean.

“Just open it Sammy.” Dean said. “I called in a lot of favors for this.” Sam raised an eyebrow but opened the envelope and took out the paper from inside.

State of California Department of Public Health

License and Certificate of Marriage.

Samuel W. Campbell and Dean M. Winchester.

“D-Dean.” Sam looked up at him.

“Now you don’t have to live in the dorm baby boy.” Dean said. Sam laid the paper by him and wrapped his arms around Dean, hugging him. “We have an official record in California, and I got someone to change your records at school to reflect it.” Dean’s heart warmed at the smile that spread on Sam’s face. “There’s something that goes with that.”

“What?” Sam asked. Dean grabbed a box he had set on the coffee table and opened it to show two black bands. Two black wedding bands.

“Gotta make it official right?” Dean asked, taking one of the bands and sliding it on Sam’s finger. Sam did the same for Dean. Dean took Sam’s hand and kissed the finger where the ring was. “Mine.” He whispered.

“Yours.” Sam said happily.

****

Two days later, they Impala was packed down with all their boxes and such. They had sold off most of their furniture, and rented a small trailer that could hitch to Baby for the things that wouldn’t fit in the car. They had not stayed in a motel since they rented the house, but they were going to stay in one on the way to their new home. Dean wasn’t entirely sure where they were going to stop off at yet. They had left early in the morning and stopped to get breakfast. But Sam was tired and napped on and off on the way. They finally stopped late in the night for a motel. Dean hadn’t had to pull all nighters to drive for a long time and he was a little out of practice. So he got them a motel room with a king bed for him and the other Mr. Winchester.

“It’s pretty much our honeymoon baby boy.” Dean joked as he kissed Sam gently. Sam just rolled his eyes and let Dean kiss him.

The next morning, he was like a ball of energy. They were so close, he could taste it. He would have about a month or so to get used to the house before he had to attend orientation and then classes. He had plans to do some gardening; herbs and other plants that they could use for protection as well as cooking. He had done a little with their next door neighbor in Michigan, since it was sometimes too hard for her to get done to pull the weeds. It was a great relaxer sometimes. Dean worked on cars; Sam liked to take pictures and work on gardening with Mrs. Tandy.

“We’re almost there.” Dean said as they passed through Sacramento. Dean couldn’t stop stealing glances at Sam. He looked so happy, so relaxed and Dean was so in love. Before they knew it, they were pulling onto Emerson Street in the Midtown neighborhood.

“I can’t believe we scored a house here.” Sam said in almost a dreamlike state. Their home in Michigan was very nice, but it wasn’t theirs. They were just renting it. Of course, their landlords didn’t mind if they painted or anything like that, but Sam wanted someplace that was theirs.

“Remember, it needs a little love.” Dean said, finding the right address and pulling into the driveway. They had visited the house and it’s previous occupants on Sam’s spring break a few months prior. The house had been empty for about a month now. Dean had worked extra hours and done a few kills to get the money to pay for the house, meaning that the extra scholarship money could be applied to fixing it up.

“It’s ours.” Sam said, a huge smile on his face. “It’s all ours.”

****

Two Months Later

“Dean, I’ve gotta get to the orientation.” Sam said.

“Want me to drop you off on my way to work?” Dean asked, buttoning up his work shirt.

“Might be a good idea. I heard parking is a bitch.” Sam said. “And I haven’t gotten the bus schedule down yet.” Dean smiled and kissed Sam.

“And you’re the nerd.” Dean laughed. “Come on. Let’s get you to your orientation.” Sam smiled. He knew how to drive, but he had just never bothered to get a car. Dean drove them everywhere and Sam was happy with that. Occasionally, he would drive out for things, but it was rare.

Dean dropped Sam off at the student center and gave him a quick kiss.

“If you need me to pick you up, call me baby boy.” Dean said. “Love you Sammy.”

“Love you De.” Sam smiled and waved to Dean before heading inside. They were all gathered into an auditorium and went over all the things that Stanford had to offer, financial things, etc. Finally, they broke for lunch. Sam sat a table by the window, looking out over the campus.

“Hey, mind if I sit here?” A kid asked holding a tray of food.

“Sure.” Sam said, looking up at him.

“I saw you at orientation. What dorm are you in?” The kid asked.

“Oh, I don’t have one. I live at Midtown with my husband.” Sam explained.

“Dude, lucky.” The kid laughed. He stuck out his hand for Sam to shake. “Name’s Brady. I’ll be at Florence Moore...I think.” Sam laughed and shook his hand.

“I’m Sam.” Sam said, smiling at him. “Pre law.”

“Business.” Brady said. “I’m gonna be a CEO someday. But I think I’ll need a lawyer like you to help me out.”

Conversation flowed freely between the two of them, and they stuck together for the rest of the orientation. They had a few of the same basic core classes, and they even got them at the same times.

If Dean ever had to be jealous of anyone, it was Brady.

Forever Tags: @anathewierdo @we-ride-with-the-tide @dekahg @marvel-af @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogaruke @xxwarhawk @strab0 @sandlee44

Supernatural Tags: @bandobsession98 @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @fangirlsencyclopaediaofweirdness @ilovetardis @missihart23 @supernaturalwincestsblog @flamencodiva @sams-serialkiller-fetish @theas-bedtime-stories

Natural Born Killers Tags: @mysteriousharmony @webcraft4eveh @mereka18 @writinginthesecrettrees

[skizmin]

you’re my favourite constellation.

stargazing!au, friends to lovers with han jisung

(this giF IM SCREAMING CUTIE)

request from @straybin: Can I request a stray kids jisung friends to lovers star gazing au! Your aus are super sweet I loved the seungmin one!

(thank you so much ily 💝💓💖💕💞💘💗)

alright lets get straight into it

so youre a highschool student with an affinity for astrology, like, you love it

for your birthdays you get astrology books and maps and even once a really cool telescope!!

its just what you love, okay?

anyway, recently youd moved in with your cousin who lived alone and needed a roommate, plus it was closer to your school than your own home.

you parents practically shoved you in there with short notice (at least they were paying rent and grocery expenses) and you were like well okay

you didnt mind your cousin at all, but she can be a bit excitable and overbearing sometimes but you have to deal with it really

“dUDE i gotta show you something follow me”

you were unpacking when your cousin said this, you set down your telescope and followed her out the front door. your cousin lived in an apartment block basically, she was on the third story out of five. there was a very cute young family across the hall from you guys n stuff

anyway she kept going up and up these stairs and you were like where the fUck are we going im so tired

she laughed and said you were almost there and proceeded to push open a big heavy door

wow

you were in complete awe

in front of you was a massive open roof, the setting sun and the wide sky completely in view from all points, and when you looked up? oh my god it just seemed so clear

“you like stargazing dont you? youre allowed to come up here all you want as long as you dont make a ruckus yeah?”

you agreed, smiling W I D E and attacking your cousin in a hug

like,, two weeks later?

you still hadnt gone stargazing on the roof yet

on top of moving in and mid term school, it was a struggle to deal with so you just didnt have the time at the moment

untillll you had a falling out with a friend. it wasnt anything too serious but a few hurtful truths were said and the added stress of everything else going on, it was just overwhelming

so when you got home that afternoon, you packed a small box with your telescope, your notebook and pens, a couple of your astrology study books and two big blankets

then, after you made and ate dinner with your cousin, you made a big cup of hot chocolate (or coffee or tea or a moccha, whatever you prefer) and told your cousin you were going upstairs and youd probably be back late so youd take a key in case she was asleep

your cousin agreed and watched you balance the massive mug and your box in your hands and also the two big pillows you spontaneously grabbed as you walked out

arriving on the roof, you laid everything out, not bothering to set up your telescope just yet and you sat back sipping your hot drink

you didnt know when you started to cry but it happened, and soon enough you where silent sobbing on your own letting out a few sniffles here and there. life was just too busy and overwhelming at the moment

it was about half an hour later when you stopped sobbing, you were still crying, wiping your tears from your face every minute or so, this was when the door to the roof opened and shut

you thought it would just be your cousin so you stayed still and aited for her to find you and comfort you

the the felt a foot hit your thigh and heard a whisper shout of “hoLY FUCK”

you sat up, hastily wiping your tears as you tried to see the dark figure in front of you, they had turned on their torch and were now shining it directly into your eyes

“i am so sOrry i didnt even see you there, were you sleeping? oh god i cant believe i just almost stepped on you- wait? are you crying? oh my god”

it was some sort of god in front of you, you were sure. perfectly tanned skin, gorgeous doe like eyes, soft cheeks and pink lips. you were pretty much mesmerised, even as he crouched down in front of you

“hey, im sorry. i really didnt mean it its just dark out, are you okay? i didnt hurt you did i?”

he sounded so unbelievably guilty that you felt bad, snapping out of it you responded with a choked out “im sorry, im fine, its okay!”

the boy in front of you smiled out of relief, eyes lingering on you before looking at the set-up around you

“im jisung, i live on 2nd floor. i havent seen you around before, i didnt know we had new neighbours”

he looked at you and tilted his head in confusion, his eyebrows furrowing and his lips set in a slight pout. your heartbeat involuntarily picked up at the sight

“oh! im uh- im y/n, i just moved in with my cousin y/c/n, she lives on third floor...” you awkwardly and shyly looked down to the ground, hastily tidying up the mess of notebooks and your hot drink as he replied

“oh! y/c/n! i know her, shes really nice. how old are you? you look a bit younger than her honestly” his brows furrowed further and he smiled lightly when you looked up at him, he was still crouching in front of you

“oh, im 17, she lives closer to my school than my parents and she needed a housemate, so here i am!” you laughed really nervously and looked down at your fingers again

jisung smiled to himself, ah, theyre cute

“oh, im the same age then!” he laughed before looking away slightly, asking the difficult question, “are you sure youre okay? you look like youve been crying,”

dread crushed your chest, he’d seen you crying, this was really embarassing for you

“oh nothing! i was just- uh, i was just a bit stressed is all” you held your breath, hoping jisung wouldnt pry any further, you really didnt want to talk about it

he laughed good heartedly, “ah yeah, we all get a bit like that sometimes. what are you doing up here though? its freezing, are you studying or something? waiT IS THAT A TELESCOPE?!”

it was your turn to laugh, this kid was really positive and seemed to know how to take a hint

“im stargazing! my cousin said i could come up here but, if you need to roof then dont worry ill go down its no porblem”

you looked at his face this time as you spoke and oh my god stop smiling at me like that 

“stargazing? thats so cool! dont worry, i only came up here for some fresh air, my housemates are a bit loud. so what, do you just look at the stars and planets or?” he finally sat dwn next to you. “can you show me a constellation?”

you giggled and nodded, you whole body tingling because of the close proximity of your bodies and the idea of the stereo-typically romantic thing you were about to do. “we need to lay back okay?”

you laid back, he followed, his head was lost to to yours and his hands rested on his stomach, he turned his head to look at you

m i s t a k e

you didnt turn to him. you were bright red at the feel of his breath fanning across your face you kept your head straight on the sky

“now what?” he softly whispered it to you, your stomach violently dipped and your heart practically stopped

youre all “uhhhh uh- well, uh, you just um- see that sorta diamond of stars over there? and then it sorta uh, has a triangle on top?”

jisung follows your line of eyesight and tries to focs on specific stars that make out the shape, he sees it “oH! i see it!”

“yeah, thats lyra, its a harp basically.”

jisung squints and you lightly turn your head to him, not fully, just enough to see his face. “oh, it does look like a harp i guess, whys it there?”

“it represents the lyre of orpheus, who was a greek poet and musician, he was killed though...”

“wow, thats sad but also so cool...” jisungs phone buzzes, you see its a message from someone called minho, asking where he is

“crap, y/n, ive gotta go but um. i really liked talking to you and im really interested in the stars now, it seems like theyve all got stories. would you mind teaching me again sometime?”

he was scratching the back of his neck awkwardly

“oh! um- yeah of course i will, i mean, yeah definitely!”

you realised you didnt have his phone, so you couldnt really get your number for him

he saw you looking and spoke up “uh, maybe just next time, um, come and grab me? my apartment is number 6, im almost always there if im not at school really. just, whenever youre going up and you feel like some company, come knock on the door or something?”

you smiled, the thought made you nervous but you did want to see jisung again. “okay, of course.”

he smiled brightly at you, you cursed your heart again, “great! ill get going then, dont stay for too long okay? youll get a cold.” he stood up and waved to you

“bye jisung!” you call out softly as he walks away

you leave not long after he left, it felt boring on your own suddenly. you didnt even remember youd been crying at all, it felt like a massive weight was lifted off of your shoulders.

you slept so easily that night, dreaming of the stars and jisung.

a week and a half later? it was a friday night 

you were packing your box to go stargazing again when you remembered jisung, you wanted to bring him along with you. he might be busy, but you packed an extra couple of blankets and soem pillows and placed them just inside your door before you went downstairs to go and get him

you were so nervous as you knocked on the door, preparing for utter embarrassment. the door opened up tho

“oh, youre not the complex owner thank god.” you were greeted by someone possibly younger than you, he had reddish hair and a sweet smile. “how can i help you?’

you tried to block out the screeches coming from inside the apartment, you could hear about five voices screaming at once “im uh, im y/n, im from upstairs? i was wondering if jisung was here at all?”

he smirked, like he knew something you didnt. “sure one sec, im seungmin by the way.” he turned away from you and screamed into the apartment “jiSUNG, SOMEONES HERE FOR YOU, HURRY UP.” 

“coMING!!” was heard throughout the apartment followed by a “fELiX gEt ofF Of mE” and seungmin smiled awkwardly at you before a head popped past the wall into the entrance way

“oh! y/n! you came!” he tried to walk over to the door but you noticed a body dragging on his legs.

“jiSUNG PLEASE DO MY CHORES FOR ME.” the boy yelled at jisungs feet

seungmin laughed, looking at you saying “ill leave you to it” before jogging over to a tangled up jisung and who you presumed was felix and tearing felix from jisungs body, dragging him away

“uh, sorry about that, hes lazy and pathetic.” jisung laughed, so did you

“i was just wondering if you were free? i was about to go up to the roof..”

jisung smiled brightly, “of course, let me get my coat and phone.”

once he was ready you two went up to your apartment, you told him to come in and wait a bit while you made him a hot drink of hit choice, then you grabbed some pillows and your box and you both walked up the remaining flights of stairs to the roof

it was the beginning of a tradition really, youd go down and grab him, his housemates would call for him as soon as the saw you, before he left theyd whisper things into his ear that made him blush but you simply shrugged it off

after about two months of going up to the roof together, you admitted to yourself that you liked him

a lot

you liked his smile, his voice, how he was endlessly making you happy, you liked he warmth of when hed lie next to you and the way he’d rest a hand on your lower back, guiding you up the stairs. you liked his goodbye hugs and the way he’d hold your hands the one week you couldnt find your gloves. you liked how he was so interested in the stars like you, but you considered giving up looking at the sky to simply look into his eyes because they held galaxies within them. you liked the way he’d whisper your name to check if you were awake and the gentle touch of his fingertips when he brushed your hair out of your eyes

you liked him so much, you couldnt deny it. it crushed you in a way, you thought he would never like you back, and you increasingly got more nervous and drifted away bit by bit

one night, you were up on the roof and jisung sighed loudly, you asked him what was wrong

“can i rant a little bit? please?” jisung had puppy eyes as he sat up and looked at you, you sat up as well and nodded for him to go on

“ah, this is hard,” he started before looking at the pot plants next to your set up that were the centrepiece of the rooftop, 

“i um, basically i like this uh, this person right? i like them as more than a friend,” your heart clenched and dropped to your stomach. oh. this was heart break. “we’ve been friends for a while and i thought, well, yeah i thought id been quite obvious with my feelings. i hoped that their shyness was them maybe reciprocating my feelings but? maybe not. lately theyve just-”

jisung huffed and looked up at you again, your heart got caught in your throat, you could see he was nervous about telling someone about his crush and he looked sad talking about the unfortunate circumstances

“theyve been distancing themselves from me. they flinch away we i try to be more affectionate and- and they just dont seem like they like me anymore. not even in a romantic way, in a friend way. and im just upset i guess. ive never ever liked someone this much before, every night im filled with these feelings of just wanted to cuddle with them and take them on dates and hold their hands and- and kiss them. the whole package. it hurts, y/n. why dont they like me?”

the sad feeling you was feeling showed in your voice as you replied. “youre a great person jisung, theyd be an idiot not to like you, seriously. i cant think of someone more deserving of love than you.” you tried to nervously look into his eyes

“then why dont they like me y/n? no one ever likes me.” he was still looking down onto the ground

“i like you jisung.” 

oh no

oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no W O R D   V O M I T

you clenched your eyes shut, your heart was beating rapidly, you cant believe you just said that when hed just been speaking about liking someone else. you wanted to cry, to bury yourself alive, anything to get out of that situation.

“really? what?” he snapped his head up, staring at you wide eyed and shocked

“nevermind jisung, forget i said it, i didnt mean to make it awk-”

jisung cupped your cheeks, you felt his warm palms and cool fingertips before you felt his lips, slightly chapped yet soft

your mind was going crazy, you barely managed to move your lips along with jisungs before he parted away, still holding your cheeks and smiling widely

“out of all the stars in this world, youre the brightest y/n.”

you died inside before realising he liked you, all the things he said earlier were about you

jisungs eyes were hopeful, happy, loving, especially when you smiled at him so purely

“jisung, kiss me again.”

and he did, pulling you into his lap and letting you tangle your fingers into his hair

he even kissed you outside your apartment, giggling in happiness and tugging you into his body before saying goodbye

jisung couldnt remember a time he’d been this happy, and honestly, neither could you.

finish!! hope you liked it omg

[weareallfallengods]

Survival

Writing prompt:

If you’re over 25 and haven’t done something remarkable, you are hunted down and killed. Some people invent things. Some make cures for diseases. Others become established members of their community. You’re pushing 30, and somehow not dead yet, even though you cant think of a single thing you’ve done thats remarkable in any way. Why aren’t you dead?

I write for adults about adult themes with adult language. I try to tag possible triggers (but I know I'm not going to get all of them), so if violence or implied death or cussing bothers you, you'll probably want to find a different author.

********************************************

Somehow, that date came up again. Not quite sure how, but somehow, the number circled on my shitty wall calendar with the coffee splatter on it managed to be today. Again. It's been doing that for 5 years now.

At first I wanted to be a surgeon- save people's lives, make a difference, all that shit. Yeah, I was caught up in the hype for a while too. Just like everyone. Thought I'd make some ground-breaking discovery and change the world. Just like everyone. And then, at 22, I flunked out of med school. That was it. Dream over, kaput, fin.

When I opened my termination letter, it was like reading a death sentence. 10 years of prep and study down the drain. 3 years left. 3 years, and no idea what to do. No clue what I could do to save my own life after all those years learning how to save others.I drank for a solid month. I dont even remember that month now. My only memento from it is an entire skip of liquor bottles. It's a miracle I didn't die from alcohol poisoning. Not that I didn't try.

See, I was afraid. Scared, actually. Terrified would be more accurate, if I'm honest. I knew I only had 3 years left until they came for me. Unless I managed to do something extraordinary within the next 3 years, they'd come for me, and the only thing that would remain is a 2 paragraph obituary in the local paper, followed by a vacancy announcement. When you're suddenly forced to confront your own imminent demise, and see every dream, hope and aspiration you'd had evaporate, right in front of your eyes, its perfectly natural to drown that in a swimming pool of vodka.

But then, after a month of drowning, and a week of curing a hangover that would make Satan shudder, I got angry. Like Bruce Banner angry. As I was leaving an all night diner, the notice board caught my eye. Having nothing better to do with my life, I stood there for a while just reading every single card in detail, every single lost cat, every used car, every 5k charity run. And then I saw it. And I thought, "You know what? Fuck it, why not. I've spent all this time trying to do one thing that I've never actually done just whatever I feel like, had hobbies, anything really. Why the fuck not."

And that's how I ended up 2 days later in some shity warehouse district, rolling around on a mat with some dude I didnt even know, sweating and swearing profusely and having the time of my life. "Sasha's Self Defense" it said on the small, weathered and rusted sign on the brick wall out front, next to a door that looked like it had been transported straight from the proverbial gulag.

I'd naively thought this was going to be one of those Karate Kid knock offs for some reason when I first arrived. Sasha soon disabused me of that notion. In fact, when he saw I'd brought a new gi in a duffle bag, he laughed so hard he had to slap his ass down on a rickety folding chair just to keep breathing. Once he calmed his mirth at my expense, he let me know in a no-nonsense, 'I'm an old-timer and seen some shit in my day' heavily accented tone that this would be a class that focused on survival at all costs. "No bullshit wax on-wax off," were his exact words I believe.

And boy was he right. When I told him I'd set aside my year's tuition for lesson payments, well, wouldn't you know it, I became his most prized pupil; I quickly learned this was not a good thing. It meant 14 hours a day of the most humiliatingly punishing activity ever dreamed up by Moscow's Finest. I couldnt even move the morning after my first day. But somehow I limped my battered frame down to the bus stop and was only an hour late. Ha, only. Sasha seemed to take it as a personal insult. The only thing he hated less than sloppiness was tardiness it seemed. Apparently the 10th Circle of Hell was reserved for those who dared be late. And he made you earn your way out of that circle.

His only saving grace was fairness. If I had to suffer, at least I wasnt alone. Well, at first anyway. The few other students that suffered his wrath along side me doing slavic folk dances with wrist and ankle weights very quickly learned that this wasn't the type of class they had thought it was and soon I was alone with Sasha.

On the days I did well, I got treated to pierogies. Oh man, I lived for those pierogies. They were made by angels and served by someone I can only describe as if Jesus came back as a woman. Who was Russian. And spoke even less english than Sasha, if that was possible. His sister was as completely opposite to that sadistic maniac as it was possible to be and still be a human being. Where he was loud, she was soft. Where he was tough, she was gentle. Where he was strict, she was generous, even indulgent. Blonde to his brunette. Slim to his barrel chest. Cousin by marriage, I think they said. Well, relatives of some kind anyway. And she was the only one who could make him laugh. And when he laughed, the whole block knew! He was just that loud, that boisterous, with everything he did.

But I loved his little Anya. Just like everyone. But like in a wholesome, mom-ish kind of way. I loved her because I got to sit for an hour when she was around. Because she"d always tuck a to-go container of pierogies into my bag. Because she'd chide Sasha for pushing me too hard. In short, she was an angel.

But I have to hand it Sasha- in 4 months, he took a scrawny bookworm into someone who could pose for Men's Health. In 6 months, I could beat Ivan, his partner, in 5/10 sparring matches. In 7 months, I ran a marathon. In 9, he had me enter a triathalon. And I made it into the top 50 out of 500 entrants. Not too bad if I say so myself. In 12 months, I was beating Ivan almost every time.

And that's when the other Ivan showed up. After a year, Sasha decided it was time I learned weaponry. After all, no real fight was fair, he said. And Ivan (another cousin? Sasha had one heck of an extended family) instructed me on everything from broken beer bottles, to knives and pool cues. And my medical training paid off, because more often than not, I was the one stitching myself up if training got a little rough that day.

Eventually, I moved into the gym. Not sure how it happened, but I think I just got too tired to leave one day and never really left. Sasha didnt seem to mind since it meant I wasnt ever late again. Plus the coffee he imported was the best thing ever. Like it was so good that's probably the Extraordinary Thing he did to live as long as he had.

The days just melted together, into one long symphony of beautiful exhaustion and physical torment, as I poured myself into the first activity I could remember doing purely because I wanted to, something that numbed the dread of the finality of my life expectancy.

But then one day, one specific day, the one I'd been dreading in the back of my mind for a year came around.

They found me.

I guess they were a little slow in finding me, not surprising since I'd basically just disappeared from my old life, no forwarding address type thing. It wasnt intentional, it just sort of happened, what with me diving head first into something purely for me, without the thought of doing it for someone else. But they found me. Just like they find everybody.

See, it doesnt matter if you try to run, if you move, or change your name. They always find you eventually. I just hadn't thought about it in a long while. That year was the first time since I was probably 14 that I'm hadn't thought about the Gardeners. I guess that's why it surprised me so much.

Yeah, Gardeners. I dont know who came up with the name, in guess some misguided attempt at a positive PR spin bullshit to pass off squads of government assassins who's only job was to track down the NCs of the world and eliminate them. Sorry, NCs- Non-Contributors; the people who hit their expiration date without doing something noteworthy, something that was deemed to "advance or bolster the Human Condition" to borrow a phrase from the civics classes we had to take every fucking year of school. A cutesy sounding name that was supposed to make the government sound like a benevolent old couple pulling weeds from their garden of humanity. The worst lies always sound the sweetest, dont they?

And I was now 25.

It happened a few weeks after my birthday. Just another routine day for me, going for a light 5k run after my soak in a mineral bath. Light rain, most of the streetlights out, the few lights on in the warehouse district reflected beautifully off the streets. That's why I ran at night, all the colors changed that normally bleak neighborhood into something beautiful. It was just one little thing to balance out the harshness of reality, and I reveled in it.

I don't actually remember what happened exactly. I do recall seeing a suspiciously conspicuous homeless guy huddled under a loading dock awning, and then just a flash of movement from the corner of my eye. I think it happened really quickly; at least that's what Sasha said the next morning as he was making arrangements for me to visit another cousin of his "back in the old country". It could have been. God, after seeing the bodies around me in the aftermath, I hope, for their sake, that it was fast. 5 bodies. All still. I still remember my breath turning to blue fog, blurring the details of them. Helping me to be able to pretend I didn't see the blood mixing with the rain and oil, spreading out over the concrete like a macabre inversion of the cloudy sky above.

I'm glad they wore masks. It's bad enough having that scene burned into my brain forever, without specific people's faces being etched there as well. I'm glad I dont see their faces in my mind every time I close my eyes. I just wish I could still enjoy the rain. They managed to take that from me, even if I'm still breathing, so I guess they didnt completely fail. They just killed a part of my soul instead. But hey, there's plenty of people that don't like the rain, right? But I bet they don't smell blood when it does though.

And that was pretty much it. No sirens, no manhunt, nothing. Before I could process what was happening, I was on a bus, headed for "the old country", which, as near as I could tell, looked an awful lot like Pittsburg. Sasha's 'cousin' met me at the bus depot there, a man of very few words. Not as loud as his cousin, Zhena tended to communicate with looks, grunts and shrugs mostly. Same work ethic though.

And then the cycle repeated- 14 months this time before they caught up with me. Too bad that Zhena got caught up in it, he was a great guy. He and I didn't really become close or buddies or anything, but it still hurt to see what happened to him. To what was left of him anyway. The Gardeners definitely were trying to send a message with that. To quote an old wise man, "I didnt want to know, but now I do, and I'm telling you, you dont want to know." And that's coming from someone who was training to become a surgeon, so just trust me on this one.

This time, they were waiting for me. I think they'd planned on Zhena being enough of a distraction that they'd be able to take me out easily, but since since I woke up the next day on the floor of the sparring ring in a too large pool of blood that wasnt my own, I'd say they failed. The difference this time was I was on my own. No 'cousins' to call in favors from. No family I could call because I didnt want them getting a visit from the Gardeners either. I was alone this time.

Weirdly, I was actually OK with that. I'd been surrounded by family, teachers, advisors, tutors for so long that solitude was actually kind of nice. I could hear myself think my own thoughts for the first time in what seemed like forever.

I'm not ashamed to say that I took what little of value there was from Zhena's gym (I knew him well enough to know that Sasha was his only family) so that I could get a seedy hotel for a while. I did at least have the decency to let Sasha know, and that that would be the last he ever heard from me, to keep him out of trouble. Bad enough that 10 people were already dead, I didn't want Sasha or Anya's name added to that list because of me.

And so I vanished. Completely. Sure I travelled, kept studying and training like I had been, but never staying longer than a few months, never using the same name, copying other random people's habits and patterns so I didnt have one of my own for them to track down. Yeah it was cliche, but hey, I figured my dad watching all those spy flicks when I was young had to be good for something, right?

Sometimes I was a baker, sometimes a delivery driver, even a dock hand. Whatever it took to make a buck so I could eat.

I got really good at other things too. Like disposing of bodies. Not really a skill I ever thought I'd want or need, but Necessity is a harsh and demanding teacher. Sadly, my skill as a surgeon came in handy- bodies are easier to get rid of when they're in smaller pieces. And people are easier to turn into bodies when you know how they're put together intimately. Not what I had in mind for my life, but since it was the choice between this or dying, well, I guess I can put up with it.

I suppose that catches us all up to the present, more or less. OK yeah theres a lot that's gone down between Pittsburg and now, but it was all pretty much the same: lather, rinse, repeat. Literally sometimes. Those were the days it felt like there wasnt enough soap in the world to get all the blood off.

So here I am, I'm my single room in Kandahar, staring at the date that had somehow come up again. Every year, they send someone. Usually a team. And I survive. No matter how they come at me, or when or how many. I survive.

And I'm sitting here, staring at the calendar, steaming cup of espresso, just staring, as a light breeze fluttered the corner of the calendar page, sending the orchids dancing in the vase next to it. All I could think is, "How? How does this keep happening? I'm not even supposed to be here, not supposed to be alive."

As I raised my cup of espresso, something slid under my door. "OK that's weird," I said aloud as I stood.

The chair made an ungodly screech as I pushed it back and made my way over to where a small, cream colored envelope sat on the floor, a couple inches from the bottom of the door. It was heavy for it's size, but not because anything was in it, just the paper was that thick. Probably hand-made. It's odd the little things you notice in times of stress. Heavy, rough paper, no postmark, nothing written on the outside, just the flap tucked in, not even sealed. Reminded me of how my mother used to give out birthday cards. I always thought that was a little weird, but it was just one of her quirks that made her even more endearing to everyone.

I sat down a little heavier than I had planned and felt the chair crack a little. There was a single sheet of paper inside, folded in half; I was right- handmade paper. But that wasnt important, what was important was the heavy, blocky hand-written message it contained.

"We've been looking for you for a long time. It has come to my attention that you may have something unique to contribute after all. We may have been too hasty in judging your Ability to be a Contributor. I believe you do actually have a remarkable Ability to Survive. I'd like to speak to you this afternoon in the plaza outside the Blue Mosque. I will be alone, and you can approach me, so as to allay your justifiable suspicions. I will have a silver coffee set on the table in front of me.

I believe we can help each other, if you're willing to listen to my proposition.

-Soon,

Baddar"

Well, this is interesting.

[xsuperhero-expertx]

So I wrote a thing. Its horrible. I have it on my wattpad but decided to post it here too.

Characters: Scarlett Johansson, Chris Evans, Aaron Taylor Johnson(barely) and y/n

⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING attempted rape mention!! Just an overall warning so if you’re sensitive I suggest one of my other fics ❤️ ⚠️

Please don’t leave me

As I’m laying in bed my hands start to shake and my body starts to tremble. My mind going into overdrive.

“Oh no not again” y/n thought

Why does this happen to me

My anxiety gets the better of me

My mind going into overdrive

I cant comprehend anything

My boyfriend is the only thing that can calm me down most times

-

My best friend is back for a week to attend her cousins wedding. My boyfriend Chris insisted on her staying with me to make sure I’m okay.

Sobs start to wrack my body and i cant control it. I start breathing heavy. There’s too much air but yet not enough making it hard to breathe. It feels like someone is stabbing me in the chest

Scar comes running down the hallway after hearing my screams.

“Y/n?! Are you okay?”

“No!” I sob out

“H-he’s going to f-find someone else and l-leave me” i start sobbing harder my body shaking

“Y/n Chris fucking loves you honey, he’s never going to leave you. You’re all he brags about. At one point Anthony told him and i quote ‘to shut his pie face because its annoying’”

“Ask any of the cast y/n, Chris fucking loves you.”

“I want to believe you but i cant” i sob out “Why the f-fuck would he love someone as fucked up as me?” I sobbed harder — Its been over an hour and i still cant calm down. I should’ve went to the hospital by now. Panic attacks shouldn’t last this long. She called my brother Aaron. He’s trying to help but nothing is helping me at this point. My mind is telling me lies i can’t help but believe

My sobs were so Loud i didn’t hear scar call someone until shes rubbing my back and puts the phone to my ear.

“Y/n baby?” “Can you hear me?”

Its Chris. My heart starts to beat harder and my stomach is turning in on itself in guilt

“Im sorry!” I sobbed out

“Hey, hey, baby girl calm down, its okay. I promise. I don’t hate you baby. I promise I’m going to come home to you as soon as were done and i promise i wont leave your side for as long as possible.”

“Can you try to calm down for me baby doll?” He says, still hearing my sobs in the phone

“I c-can’t Chris!”

“Shh baby okay. Breath with me, In 5, 1 2 3 4 5 . Breathe out 1 2 3 4. Okay?”

“In 1 2 3 4 5. You ready? Out 1 2 3 4”

“I can’t Chris I’m trying i cant calm down! Im so scared y-you’re going to l-leave me!”

I lost it. I just started screaming. crying. Curling up into a ball.

Aaron comes over and climbs in the bed with me.

“Shh y/n/n. It’s okay.” He says while rubbing you back.

Meanwhile on the phone

S: “Chris i don’t know what to do”

C: “I’m trying to think of something .”

C: “Did you put her in one of my shirts?”

S: “She already had one on when i got here. ”

S: “I even turned on one of your movies so she could hear your voice and she cried harder.

S: "I even brought her the blanket you take on planes, because you left it in the closet and it smells like you.”

S:“It didn’t help.”

They both hear the scream.

“NO! I want Chris!”

C: “My poor baby, God I’m so sorry”

C: “i should be there”

S"Chris it isn’t your fau-“

C: "i can’t take this. give me a minute.”

C: “don’t hang up”

A few seconds goes by

C: “Hey Rob, I need a favor ”

Scarlett can hear their conversation through the phone

R:“ Chris it’s fucking 3am”

C: “its y/n, i need to borrow your private jet. I need to get home. ”

C:“ I don’t have time to wait for the airport and shit ” C:“I’ll pay you, I’ll do whatever i have to do. I need to get home”

Y/n’s scream comes bellowing through the phone so loud that Rdj can even hear it. Chris lets out an extremely unmanly sob.

R: “okay let me put on some clothes and well go. I’m not waiting for the pilot, i know how to fly it.”

C: “dude i can’t thank you enough”

R: “it really sounds like she needs you. If that was my wife, not even God himself could stand in my way from getting to her”

C:“thank you”

Chris starts walking back to his hotel room to pack his essentials.

C: “Scar take y/n the phone.” C: “I’m coming home”

S: “ are you sure thats a good idea?”

S: “you could loose your job”

C:“ you think i give a shit? Its my girlfriend were talking about here. My entire world. I would go to hell and back and bring heaven and earth with me if i had to”

Scar walks back into the bedroom and gives y/n the phone, who is still sobbing and shaking in Aaron’s arms

C:“ hey baby, I’m comin’ home okay?”

Y/n: “okay” she hiccups.

Y/n: “i love you” and she starts sobbing again.

C:“ i love you too, doll”

Scar takes the phone back

C: “i have a few questions while i wait for Rob, is that okay?”

S: “of course it is”

C:“this is the worst I’ve ever heard her let alone seen her. We’ve been together since the first captain america came out.” C:“what happened tonight?”

S:“ all i know its its y/f/n’s birthday. They went out to the bar, she didn’t even wanna go, but they guilt tripped her. Then all i know is shes She ran into the apartment. She ran upstairs and took a really fucking long shower. Like un-normally long for y/n and then i heard her screams and sobs.”

C: “i wanna know what the hell happened at that bar”

S:“you and me both.”

C: “Robs here, gotta go, i should be home in about an hour”

C:“thank you scar”

–

About 45-50 minutes later the front door burst ope, and they hear Chris running up the stairs. He burst through the bedroom and takes one look at your shaking frame underneath the blankets.

“Oh my God, my poor baby. He whimpers. Actually fucking whimpers

"Im gonna go, call me if you need me” scar whispers and pats Chris’ back and walks out the door closing it behind her

“Y/n babe? Im here”

Chris says crouching down be side the bed, Aaron being already gone.

“Chris?” Y/n whimpers

She rolls over and actually sees him not realizing he isn’t on the phone anymore but in front of her. She throws the blankets off of her shivering body and throws herself into his arms. Knocking him and her both back onto the floor.

“Chris!” Y/n sobs gripping his shirt so tight in her small fragile hands. Not that he minds

“Im here baby.” He says wrapping his arms around her.

He stands up still holding her and manages to get his shoes, socks, and pants off without putting her down. Now leaving him in just his boxers and t-shirt.

He climbs into the bed. Her small frame still clinging to his body, like her life depends on it. Because in her eyes. It actually does. Her breathing starts to slow just from being in his arms.

“Y/n baby?” “Can you tell me what happened?”

“I-i went to the b-bar for y/f/n’s birthday, i didn’t wanna go. I w-wanted to stay here and FaceTime you like every night.”

She takes a deep breath. “But they guilt tripped me into g-going so i did. They were all dancing with guys and i had no interest in doing so. Boyfriend or not. So i sat at the booth in the back by the h-hallway that leads to the bathrooms.”

“Well this g-guy.” She lets out a shaky sob.

“This guy h-he decided he wanted me to dance with him. I politely declined. He wanted to buy me a drink. I politely declined again. I didn’t w-want to tell him i have a boyfriend because i shouldn’t have to have a boyfriend for someone to leave me alone. I was trying to m-maintain my morals and values.”

"W-well he wasn’t having it. I eventually told him i have a boyfriend and to leave me the fuck alone. He didn’t. He instead said 'i don’t see him anywhere, so what'dya say about goin’ to have some fun darlin’ ” he then proceeded to k-kiss me. And to which I pushed him off and he wouldn’t stop he just pinned my a-r-rms above my head against the wall"

She lets out an extremely loud sob

“Its okay baby girl I’m right here,he cant hurt you anymore”

“He then k-kept groping and touching me and i tried to make him stop. He spun us around to the side of the wall in the hallway where no one would see.”

“A-and he.”

She sobs again. Loosing it. Chris just rubs her back soothingly, listening to her tell him what happened.

“He t-tried to rape me!” “But i head butted him in the n-nose and ran”

She sniffles and sobs a little bit more

“Please don’t leave me Chris please?!?”

“I d-didn’t mean to cheat on you” She sobs harder now her entire body shaking in his arms.

“Look at me baby. ” “No don’t look away.” “Look me in the eyes”

“You” “y/f/n ” “Y/m/n” “Y/l/n” “Did not” “Cheat” “On me” “Okay?”

She just nods and curls into his chest more “I love you y/f/n - y/m/n”

“Y/n its okay.” “It wasn’t your fault baby” Chris says.

She just leans up and kisses him. “Im sorry.” She whispers

“I love you” she says.

“I love you more, baby girl.”

[theboobserweight]

Me.

Hi to whomever is reading this. I had a moment of confidence where i felt like i was ready to share my story, share what makes me me. And that’s exactly what i am going to do with this blog post.

This story isn’t a pretty one. And i am not going to use any names, and wont go into much detail. But if you want to know why i am the way i am. What’s made me who i am. Keep reading.

So my real name is Kimberley, yes that’s right. The legal spelling of my name isn’t even with a Y. But there were 2 other Kimberley's at my school so I decided to change it to spelling it with a Y and I’ve been spelling it that way since I was 7.

My childhood was great. I have the world’s greatest parents tbh. I am closer to my dad than anyone, but we’ll get to that.

See my mom doesn't like alternative. She wanted me to be a girly girl, but my dad didn't mind as long as i was happy. My mom didn't. so I grew up alot closer to my dad.

At the age of 13 I started to rebel. My dad had raised me on rock music since i was a child. My first ever concert was Bruce Springsteen haha. I started to go in that rebel direction. When i started secondary school, it was a brand new school and we were the only year there. The top. I was the only alternative person. Which brought on a mercy of bullying. Being called ugly, fat (Which i was bigger), goth and everything else. But i tried to focus as much as I could and let it go. 

By time I was 15 I had tired of the bullying. it lead to me having a physical fight with a boy in the cafeteria of the school. Safe to say i didn't get bullied after that lol.

College was better, i started to find myself. My dancing was going amazing. In fact at the age of 17 i competed and WON the under 18 European dance hip hop championships :) (Little fact about me for you there) I was on top of the world. But that didn’t last long.

See at the age of 17 i had met a guy, on Myspace. And i fell in love. He seemed perfect to me, I would do anything for him. I was a mug. Let me tell you and example. See I lived on the edge of Essex near Lakeside shopping centre, and he lived and worked in Romford. I would drive my car to his house to pick him up and drop him off to work. And then do the same when he had finished. I was stuck. He cheated on me several times, manipulating me to believe it was my fault. And i believed him, and forgave him. That’s when the relationship started to turn toxic. I wouldn’t realize it until i was 24 but I was being emotionally abused. But more so, I was being physically. But at the time i thought that was what love was. And even more so, I thought that with love you gave everything to the person you loved. Even if you didnt want to. And i dont like to mention the word so I’ll use the single letter but he R’d me several times. And i thought it was out of love, i thought he loved me. And i let him do it because he led me to believe that if i loved him i would let him do whatever he wanted to do to me.

It took me time, but i eventually cut ties, due to the help of my best friend. I had to do it by text out of fear what would happen if i did it to his face. And i had to get her to push the button to send the message. Still to this day i remember what he text back to the 3 page essay i had sent him. 6 words. “Whatever makes you happy i guess” He would try to get back with me eventually. Again trying to make me believe that it was my fault. But I didn’t let him.

It would be at this point in my life, 2 days before i was due to go away on holiday for my birthday that I would try kill myself for the first time. Luckily my cousin was there to stop me.

I started my 18th birthday depressed. In new york of all places, trying to have fun but i was shook. I came back, surrounding myself with some incredible people. And everytime he would try contact me, my friends would answer the phone. Even down to a good friend of mine pretending to be my bf lol!

I tried to live my life as well as i could after that, trying to find myself. I didnt know what i wanted to do with my life. I didnt know if i could go into another relationship. My confidence was gone. That girl I was before him was no where to be found. 

I started working at my local cinema. And these were the best 3 years of my life. Ups and downs, highs and lows but easily the best time of my life.

I was 19 and I met a guy whilst i worked there and we started dating. I tried my hardest to let my guard down with this guy. But it just wasnt working. I couldn’t even let him kiss me and I didn’t know why. And I was kind of lucky that it wasn’t working. You see.. this guy was only dating me cos he had a bet with several other people that worked there that i didnt get on with to see how long it would take him to get me into bed. Safe to say, being friends with the manager works in your favour, cos i got them fired.But once again the confidence i had built up was now back to zero.

I just got on with my life after that. I didn’t think about dating or anything like that. I weren’t living for anything. I was just working and enjoying my life as much as i could.

At 21, I was lucky enough to go on holiday with my BFF and her family to Vegas. That was alot better than my 18th birthday.

At the end of 2011, i met a guy through a mutual friend and we got on really well. We stared dating, and for the first time in a long time I thought i had built my confidence back up. But that guard I had was lingering in the background. I was trying to push him away and he didn’t realize. Until I did. I hadn’t ever considered how much my first relationship would impact my future relationships until this guy. We could kiss, and make out for hours. But if it even tried to go further it would cause me to have an anxiety attack. I couldn’t let him touch me, at all. And it’s then i realized I had a problem. That relationship ended because he chose to cheat on me and get back with his ex.

So record so far. 1 guy abused and R’d me. 1 guy dated me for a bet. and 1 cheated. Not a good track record for a girl aged 21 huh?

And thats why at age 21 I would again attempt to kill myself. This time seeking comfort in a friend after ODing.

I gave up after that. I focused into different things. I decided dating wasn’t an option for me. I had to find myself, i had to find that confidence again.

And that’s when i started wrestling. A good friend taught me that the perfect character in wrestling is the person  you dont have the confidence to be in real life. Alas, Kymmie was born. Kymmie oozes confidence, she believes shes untouchable. And that was the girl i wish i could be in real life. Not this depressed, anxiety driven shy girl that everyone just thinks is a bitch cos she wont talk to them.

At the age of 26 i did eventually meet someone that would change my life. A guy that I am able to call a best friend. He changed everything. He made me find me again. My guard dropped the quickest it had ever, and I opened up. And for the first time in a long time, I could say that I was becoming me again. And at 26, 8 years after the guy that destroyed me, and made it so that no man could ever touch me. I finally let it happen. 

Fast forward to 2018, and I’m currently 28. My confidence right now is amazing. I still have alot of work to do, but I am learning each day to love myself. I do love myself. I have the greatest friends in the world.

I have taken a hitus from wrestling due to a back injury sustained on a horrible decision i made last year. But i will continue next year.

I have my instagram as a way to help me build confidence in how I look. Alot of people assume that due to my insta that im easy and i’m a slut. I can tell you right now, hand on my heart, that i am 28 and i have slept with 2 people. I dont count my rape as me loosing my virginity at all. It is very hard for me to be sexual with someone and let that wall down. And I am in no way ashamed to admit that I was 26 when i lost my virginity.

My depression and anxiety still exists within me, and it comes out often. I may seem confident, and untouchable. But I’m honestly not always on the inside.  If you honestly think I look confident, believe me when i say that 80% of the time that is fake, and I am actually hiding behind a mask. Like most people in life do.

If you see me at shows, or anything. And i havent approached you to say hi, Its not me being stuck up. And it isn’t me being a bitch. Its because i’m too shy and nervous to say hello as much as i want to. And my inner demons, due to my anxiety are messing with me. So please dont hesitate to come say hello.

I am working on being more confident around people, but its a process, and it will take some time. 

But that is my story summed up.

If you are still reading by this point, then thank you. I hope this gives you some sort of insight to who i am and why i am the way i am.

The last thing I will say is something i learned the weekend. And that is to make sure you surround yourself with positive people. I have recently cut some of my family out of my life (not my immediate) but this is due to them always been negative on the things i do, and i dont need that. 

I choose to surround  myself to positive people, those who boost me and those whom i can boost to.

But thank you for taking the time to read this. If you want to reach out and talk to me you are more than welcome to. My inbox is always open. 

Have a great day!

Kisses xoxo