#its my baby ngl MM is my first one

[fairyceridwen]

momento's gonna be a sunday post this weekend, just got a lot keeping me busy til then, oops

[keibea]

Get to Know Me - Sims Style

i was tagged by @amuhav because she loves me and knows i love doing these things

what's your favourite sims death?

ngl i dont actually have one, im terrified of any of my babies dying so they never do...but i guess old age maybe? because that means theyve lived a long life and ive played with them for a long time?

alpha cc or mm?

alpha HANDS DOWN...i dont hate mm by any means dont get me wrong, but ill always be an alpha girl at heart. its the alpha hairs, they always get me.

do you cheat your sims weight?

only if it fits their character i guess? not usually in gameplay.

do you move objects

i move objects every single day.

fave mod?

ooofff i mean out of necessity? nraas. but just the one i love? hands down pose player. mostly because i was so excited when i finally got it to work (i was like 13 or something and before then i could not figure out how to get mods to work) so a lot of happy memories from finally getting my sims to pose.

first expansion/game pack/stuff pack?

my first ever was sims 2 glamour life stuff pack when i was a kid. if we're talking sims 3, i believe the first pack i got was generations, which is still my favourite sims pack ever.

do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?

i pronounce it LIVE, always have as far as i know.

who's your favourite sim that you've made?

well, its gotta be elodie honestly. she and eli are the longest sims i have ever had and i love them both dearly. in the sims 4, its gotta be my girl pippa. before tumblr? i had this family called the moretti's, i miss them and i think about them way too often. i loved them all.

have you made a simself?

oh yeah. loads of times. i think ive shared my sims 3 and sims 4 variations on tumblr (but they look really weird tbh). i love making myself, cause then i can wear all these clothes i cant afford in real life.

favourite ea hair

im with aimee on this one.

im mostly joking, but usually sims 3 hairs are a no go for me, except for some store ones and the hairs that are pulled back into buns always look really nice. for sims 4, only the newer ones. the older ones are not for me.

favourite life stage?

young adult. i feel like you can always do more with young adult sims and you have so much more time (except in sims 1 i believe?and sims 2 only if u went to uni?? idk). 90% of my sims are forever young adults because i love that life stage so much.

are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

mate ive been trying to build for donkeys years to no avail. so im almost always in it for the gameplay.

are you a cc creator?

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BAHAHAHA HA once upon a time bro maybe. your girl tries to be, but uni is a pain in my bottom, and sims 3 loves making my life difficult.

do you have any simblr friends or a sim squad?

somehow i do?? more friends then irl anyway. the girl gang is @thesimperiuscurse , @lazysunjade & @amuhav these 3 have put up with me despite my crazy personality for an incredibly amount of time and i love them all dearly. but i have so many friends on here its crazy (more than 3 people its incredible!). obviously they havent seen my real personality yet. besties include: @catharsim , @plumbobem , @johziii , @rollo-rolls , @moonsonnet , oh gosh im forgetting people I AM SO SORRY I LOVE U ALL SO MUCH

do you have any sims merch?

bro i wish, but no money. spent it all on anno 1800. no regrets.

do you have a youtube for sims?

i believe formally i do, but i dont post anything. i do have some ideas if i ever wanted to, but my adhd brain couldnt cope being consistent so i probably never will.

how has your "sims style" changed throughout your years of playing?

as in sims or gameplay? idk ill talk about both. gameplay wise, not much, except im weirdly a lot more controlling then i was over my sims WHOOPS. but i still cant get passed gen 2 so that hasn't changed. but i still prefer family gameplay, probably always will. and challenges, always challenges. sims wise? a lot.

this is one of the earliest sims i have photo evidence of. this was in 2018 i believe?

whose your favourite cc creator?

the people that are the cause of most of my cc obsession are @kerriganhouse , @rollo-rolls , @johziii , @joojconverts & @martassimsbookcc and probably a few more but mind blank

how long have u had simblr?

since 2020. one of the longest things ive ever committed to.

how do you edit your pictures?

with my blood, sweat and tears. im not joking, a lot of sweat and tears goes on when im editing.

what expansion/gamepack is your faveourite?

of all time? generations, no doubt in my mind. i never had any sims 1 or sims 2 expansions, so i never got to experience those unfortunately. generations was perfection though. i mean, boarding school? lifesaver. also led to the best sims series of all time: lifesimmer's generations. for sims 4 though? probably get together, purely because of the world.

[itskiamini]

get to know a simmer tag

no one tagged me but I figured it would be a nice lil introduction to me so i'm doing it anyways <3

1. Whats your favorite sims death?

Probably by laughter just because of the shock value I get cause I always forget sims can die that way lmao.

2. Alpha cc or mm?

Baby, I'm mixing everythinggggg. Sticking to just one thing has never been me and why not have the best of both worlds?

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight?

No. It's never been that serious. It's just another way for story-telling like seeing my sims gain happy relationship weight, etc.

4. Do you use move objects ?

I wouldn't ever play this game if it didn't exist lol

5. Favorite mod?

Lumpinou's mods are literally phenomenal, I also like Wicked/Wonderful Whims for the attraction system and the buffs/pop-ups. Other than that, I like the newer self care mods that are coming out like the functional clutter kit by Cepzid, etc.

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got?

I'm pretty sure it was Seasons. Which, duh?

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing?

LIVing, the other way feels awkward to me but hearing it either way doesn't bother me.

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? 

Currently a celebrity sim I made for an upcoming gameplay series, my god, I snapped lmao. keep a lookouttttt

9. Have you made a simself? 

I have....attempted. It freaks me out cause I forget what I look like lmfaooo

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? 

I always have the More Traits in CAS mod sooo: loner (introverted), creative, hates children (don't come for me, I'm team ftk lmao), geek, book lover

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? 

The new true black they added awhile ago. I always hated that blue-black swatch with a burning passion lol or the new platinum blonde

12. Favorite EA hair? 

Baby I couldn't name one cause I never use them lmao. The waves they added for the guys is pretty cute though

13. Favorite life stage? 

Young adult for sureeeee. Adult too, I guess, considering there's really no difference between the two at the moment.

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? 

I'm a CAS creature, ngl. But I enjoy playing all three.

15. Are you a CC creator? 

Nope. My brain cells cannot compute it lmao. I wish I was!

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? 

Also nope! But it's legit my third day out here so I'm not pressed. Excited to make some in the future!!

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) 

4.....put the pitchforks and torches downnnn! I do have 3, but I hardly play it.

18. Do you have any sims merch? 

No, and will never buy any <3 EA has enough of my coin

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? 

I do! It's kiaminiplays as well and just kiamini on Tiktok/the gallery. The content is coming soon!

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? 

Chileeeeeee. I've been doing makeovers from sims I had in my library in the beginning and. the horror. omfg. But before I used to only be an Alpha girlie and now I use both so my sims can look cohesive with the game. I'm too lazy to make a save file all alpha.

Other than that, I love seeing sims have individual styles and be diverse so I try to make them each different and same thing for my builds.

21. Who’s your favorite CC creator? 

Wish I could list everyone, but heres some I don't think I could live without lol:

camuflaje, ceeproductions, gorillax3, greenllamas, jius, joancampbell, khadijah551, madlen, northernsiberiawinds, okruee, sheabuttyr, serenity, sentate and so much more.

22. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? 

City living, hands down. I can't remember any save where my sims haven't lived there for a bit. So now that we can edit the windows I'm obsessed all over again. I think For Rent might eventually give CL a run for its money just because we can create our own rental lots now.

[scarletsaphire]

✨🎀🎈💞💥🎙️💌💌💌

No those three at the end aren't a mistake, I know you have lots of WIPs and I wanna hear about them (insert activethreat emote)

✨-What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit):

Hmm. I'd say Ten Lives (The One Worth Living) but I think I might be biased and just want to talk about my Johnny, Kitty, and Shadow ideas more. I like them a Very Normal Amount I prommy.

🎀-give yourself a compliment about your own writing

There's a post that I've seen plenty times before that I think about all the time that goes something along the lines of "I'm having creative ideas above my skill level!" or something like that, for when you have a great idea but just don't know how to execute it the way you want. I legitimately feel where I am at a point where that isn't an issue for me with my writing? I think most ideas I can execute within the general sphere of what I want them to be; I might not always like them, and they might not always be what I consider "good," but they are comparable to the original idea.

🎈-describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

It tends to change based on the type of thing I'm writing. And how much sleep I get. I like a lot of shorter sentences, followed by one long rambling one for most kinds of prose, since most of my prose is an ooo ouch my bones type of prose. It does change all the time though, so that might be different in a few months. It certainly wasn't what I preferred until like, August.

💞-what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

hm. augh. mm. thats a toughy! I'm going to say worldbuilding, because I often find myself more interested in the worldbuilding that the Actual Story I'm Trying To Write (its why a 30k first draft of a novel is fitting, completely unfinished, in my google drive. The current guys suck. I want the old ones. But the old ones only work as history for the new guys. Its sad.)

💥-find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

I'm ngl I completely thought it was gun safe but First Concert! It's a pretty short one, but it does what I sought out to accomplish; combine Dora and Ember's interests in a way that illustrates their differences but also shows that they're much more similar than you'd think.

🎙️-which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

I have literally never put thought into that ever. If I had to choose, probably All In The Name Of Love or Strength of the Past And Weights of The Present, mostly because they're my favorites.

Welcome to WIP hell! See, you'd think that it would be a problem, having two of my WIPS be EI so I can't talk about them, and one being one you know so much about already. You might think that would hinder me somehow, in being able to tell you about them. YOU'D THINK!!

💌- share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

Chapter 2 Of Cover Blown: I love pitch pearl man, I really do, and with what I'm planning for this one I think it is going to be about as good as my pitch pearl can get (Dreamwalker excluded dw). I love putting guys in situations, especially when those situations involve bad injuries and babbled confessions.

Speaking of Dreamwalker, I'll add this here too, because while you might know a lot, I always have more. I love how I'm writing the ghosts, just across the board. They are all pieces of shit in the Funniest Way, especially since Danny is a whole ass child right now. You're scheming about a nine year old babes, calm down. He hasn't even lost all his baby teeth yet.

As for the last one, I'm going to put it under a read more. TW for bugs and Danny rotting, but its ok he's fine with it.

Bug Boi (title to be changed later) has been shelved indefinitely for. Many reasons! I have. So much to write. Bug Boi is, for those who do not know. Where I put as many bugs into the boy as possible. He loses organ privileges and instead becomes the landlord for a hoard of different bugs. He loves them, and they love him, and when they die (as bugs often do) they give him their little bug souls as a thank you so he because More Bug.

Anyway, I recently learned about the scorpion fly, who looks like this:

It is so cool, and has recently (idk how recently) been seen in forensic entomology, meaning that I can put these fuckers into Danny's eye sockets or esophagus or wherever else and be. Not technically wrong!! I have no idea if Bug Boi will ever be taken off of my list of to be written, but if nothing else it gives for me a place to put bugs.

[ssamie]

them getting caught simping for their s/o (part 1)

·˚ ༘⌗ just hq boys simping for you and getting caught simping by their friends

·˚ ༘⌗ characters include: tanaka ryuunosuke, oikawa tooru, iwaizumi hajime

·˚ ༘⌗ gender neutral pronouns were used.

·˚ ༘⌗ warnings: swearing and fluff lol

gen masterlist.                      hq masterlist.

TANAKA RYUUNOSUKE

honestly are we surprised?

he's already a massive simp, so why should he hold back when it comes to his s/o

he simps by literally any and every way you could think of

hyping you up? ofc, no need to say anything he already does that on a daily basis

want cuddles? say less,, he's already waiting with his arms wide open

want to go on dates? who cares about practice, he'll go on a date with you anytime, no matter what the consequence he may face

want to meet up at 3am for no reason at all? wdym, he's already up and waiting outside your house

you're sick? no no, he's already in your room taking care of you with meds, soup, and cuddles <3

i could go on but...you get the point

anyways

he gets caught simping by the team when they walked past you and him sitting by a tree on the school yard

he had you sitting on his lap with a gleeful and lovesick smile as he brings his chopsticks up to your mouth to feed you

"do you like that, baby?" he asked you with a smile. "yeah, it's very good" you said. "did you cook this?" you asked him

tanaka proudly smiled and nodded "yup! i have to make sure my baby gets only the best food there is!" he exclaims as he wraps his arms around your waist

you laugh lightly and playfully smack him in the chest "you're too sweet, ryu" you said "but thank you."

"hmm, anything for you, babe" he muttered in reply as he pressed a soft kiss on your cheeks and temples

the whole team is watching with varying reactions lmao

first of all, noya and hinata are crying from jealousy (suga too but he won't admit that 🙄)

tsukki, yams, and the other second years are snickering while daichi and asahi jokingly join along

they tease tanaka about it, but it's not like he cares lmao 💀

"damn what a simp."

"you're so smitten it's actually sad."

tanaka: "you're just jealous you don't have an s/o!"

it's true. they were just jealous 🙄🤞🏼

they're still very happy tanaka actually found someone that loved him back. they all knew he had a heart of gold, and he deserved every bit of love he received from you

i love him :(

OIKAWA TOORU

oikawa is actually a very affectionate partner

he does have a high ego, but he will succumb once he gets a quick glimpse of you

to him, you're the most beautiful being to ever walked the earth, not even kidding.

that's usually how he simps lol

he just praises you about pretty much everything

gives you never ending compliments and aims to make you feel like the most perfect person alive, because thats how he sees you

also loves physical touch <3

doesn't have to be sensual,, he just likes feeling your skin on his.

his favourite is when you're holding hands because his hands are much bigger than yours and he finds that cute >:(

"tooru, practice will start soon" you said to him as you comb your fingers through his hair, though being careful enough to not mess it up.

"hmph" he said, though it only came out as muffled murmurs, seeing as his face was buried into your chest

"you're very clingy today" you hummed "something wrong?" you asked him

his hand, which he felt the need to intertwine with yours, squeezed yours tighter as he brought them up to his lips

"mm, i just love you that's all" he said as he went back to burying his face into his your sweatshirt.

you smiled and kissed the crown of his head, making him sigh in content. "love you too, tooru"

they clown him.

the whole team just clowns him.

it would start with iwaizumi quietly snickering, though he wasn't really that fazed since he sees oikawa like this with you a lot

but makki and mattsun saw you too and just burst out laughing. idk why either they just did

they, along with yahaba, would just laugh and throw in some teasing comments

he usually responds with petty replies

"damn, what a simp"

"didn't think the oikawa tooru would like anyone but himself"

oikawa: "shut up! stop teasing me, you're all dumb! you're just mad i have a god/goddess of an s/o. you probably don't know what that's like cus you're all ugly. unlike me ofcourse. though blah blah blah.."

oikawa sweetie... shut up <3

kindaichi laughs along,, kunimi and kyotani just doesn't care lol

i love tooru sm :(

IWAIZUMI HAJIME

i love you sir 🛐

anyways, iwaizumi is a very loving boyfriend!! very protective and affectionate, but more showy when you're in private

he could never say no to you, no matter the request

you could probably ask him to eat cat shit and he'd do it for a kiss ngl

okay.. maybe don't go that far.. but yeah

you want kisses? he's not the biggest fan of pda but he'll do it if u really want it

wanna go on a date? can't say no to that

want him to buy you food/clothes? he'll do it no questions asked.

i could list down more things but my brain can't think of anything else so no <3

anyways

you were outside the gym, getting drinks and snacks and just talking

and you thought it would be a good idea to try on some clips you got on his hair

"please, hajime" you pleaded with a pout "i got these really cute clips yesterday but im wearing enough already" you said

"so i want you to wear the rest" you present him a small bag of colorful butterfly clips with a smile

iwaizumi looked at it with dread, not really wanting his head to look like a rainbow. but one glance at your hopeful smile and he just ~melts~

"ofcourse, baby" he said with a small smile "do what you want" his smile only widened as you cheered, excitedly picking out the colors to accessorise him with

"would you like blue and pink or blue and purple?" you asked

"which do you like more?" he asked "hm. maybe blue and pink.. i dunno though. you'll look cute with both" you said

"just do both then" iwaizumi shrugged as he leaned his head back on your lap, closing his eyes and humming as you comb through his hair with your fingers.

"thank you for letting me play with your hair, haji~" you cooed with a soft laugh as you press a kiss on his nose

"anything for you, love" iwaizumi replied with a chuckle

everyone just stops for a second. just pause.

they definitely didn't expect to see iwaizumi to enter the gym with his hair decorated with blue, pink and purple butterfly clips.

oikawa gasps in shock and would probably ask to borrow some.

he already knows its from you since iwa is his best friend, and he really didn't want to get a beating so early into practice.

"iwa-chan! can i have some?! give me the blue ones!"

iwa: "no way, shittykawa get your own fucking clips!

makki and mattsun would tease him to death. they were the only ones brave enough to do so :p

"damn, y/n really had you wrapped around their finger, huh?"

"ah, the things we do for love~"

"what a simp"

makki and mattsun came home with a bruise that day.

kunimi and kindaichi are quiet. they didn't want to end up like the two idiots. though kunimi may or may not have snapped a quick photo

kyotani thinks its iconic. he's an iwaizumi supremacist, what can i say.

i love iwa sm pls 😖

i think im getting better at making headcannons,, idk tho jjsbsnabs

[actualaster]

Startup spoilers. I've heard the first hour or so is fairly tutorial heavy, so this post will be my impressions as they happen of the introductory segment for PLA, and then a bit beyond that.

Filter "trainer kage" to block any of my posts about my playthrough

[I've basically kept myself entirely in the dark outside a handful of mechanics, forms, and new 'mons, so any story-related stuff that was discussed or revealed--if any was--pre-release I ignored, so its all brand new~]

Lmao god himself takes on the role of the "Welcome to the world of Pokémon" professor

I gotta admit, "basically the premise of PMD except you don't get Pokémonified" was not what I expected (this is not a bad thing)

Though alright, I can see what people mean a bit in the graphics--trees and grass definitely look wonky beyond the style of the game, the human and pokemon models look nice though, so far at least. A few graphical oddities but nothing fugly or anything. Water's pretty, IMO. So're the clouds.

GOD TRANSMUTED MY CELLPHONE LMAOOOOO well I guess that explains the tech level discrepancy

Also like the ambient cries in the BG

Wait. The PC is 15??? THEY LOOK LIKE A BABY THOUGH, THEY LOOK LIKE 10. Wow lol

I love Akari already though, her facial expressions are great when she's like >_>

Also, wow, they're just blunt about "yeah the pokemon will fucking kill you, you might die out there" I was not expecting that in terms of tone (but I like it, it's not like the series hasn't handled darker tones in the past, it's nice to see that return)

I'm going for Cyndaquil because I saw the leaks and I kin Hisuian Typhlosian (jk but I love it). His name is Blaze and I love him already~

Hm, I like the non-combay capture mechanics~ Battle capture mechanics seem standard-ish?

Wait, wait can pokemon learn more than 4 moves and you can customize their 4-mpve skillset? Is that how it works? That's how it looks, is that right??? (Please yes)

"It seems we won't have to leave you to due, after all" ?!?! HARSH MUCH??? (But I like it)

...Okay but the implication that the eye color you start with is just colored contacts and your real eye color is unknown is pretty fun. Swapped my eye color when I swapped clothes lol

Oh I look so much better with the hat lol. But ngl, kinda wish I'd gone with the girl for once, her appearance is actually really cute in this game

Mm, I think I'll like the gather-craft aspect, I enjoy that in games. But lol @ being told to just spend my cash on clothes XD

Oooh, you can choose when to evolve your pokemon instead of it happening automatically?? I like that!

So battling, catching pokemon, and using them to get items all give XP, with using them to get items giving it just to that mon? I like the addition~

Whoops, definitely do NOT want to head over by the angry looking Snorlax lol

Messed around just doing whatever for a while, the gameplay is really fun~

Changed up my appearance, I'm a femboy now :p

Also definitely love the evo animation.

Huh, so new status ailments can replace a previous one? Interesting

First Alpha and I did laugh, delelelewhooooooooooooooop (Blazed smoked it with Agile and Strong style Ember, two hits nice)

Lmao okay I like Iridia and Adaman

Also interesting, I suppose this "almighty Sinnoh" is how the Sinnoh region eventually came by its name?

Also, looking at the request board... asdfg OH NO, Drifloon playing with kids!? Better stop it from trying to drag them to hell lol

But mostly I'll get to more of it later, I should sleep lol

[outcast-thingz]

If I were a Haikyuu Manager

Fukurodani

Dear lord...

Okay we'll start with the girls, after I learn about Yukie's love for food I start bring in bentos in for her. (What can I say I like making and giving things, food, crafts, art, etc.)

Kaori and I get along. We tend to giggle a lot when we make conversation and fend off yukie when making food for the camp.

As always I shall protect the 1st years because they are precious. Granted there's only two but that's doesn't change anything!

"Hey Star! How is it fair Yukie always gets bento from you but we don't?" Komi asks with Sarukui and Konoha nodding in agreement behind him.

"Because she and Kaori gotta deal with and take care of you guys." 😑 me, "I'll tell you what. Win your next game and I'll bring in a treat for the team, yeah?" 😊

"If I were you guys I'd win that next game, ause if she brings in sweets oo-hoo-hoo~ " Yukie smiles with her eyes dazed and dream-like at the thought of food.

Akaashi, baby, sweetie, darling, dumpling, AHDHFKB Hello🥰 (thats meant in 100% platonic, I promise). Okay but for real, I'd be hesitant to talk to him because I wouldn't want to bother him. I'd like to think he's a bit of a book worm and so before practice we'll trade books. This helps when he's overthinking things because it gives me a topic to distract him with for a moment to give his brain a break. After a moment or two we can get back to when he was thinking about and we'll discuss the pros and cons laying everything out for his brain so it isn't as scary.

(Talk about needing to take some of my own advice here... ACHEM ANWAYS)

By this point you're probably thinking that wasn't so bad.. so why did she say oh lord in the beginning? Patience is a viture..

Ah.. Bokuto... *sigh* listen he's an amazing person really. I adore him and his personality. IN FACT! There is only one thing about him that bothers me.. and thats the intimidation that comes from his eyes. This is how first meeting him went-

"Ah, so you've met every one else then?" Akaashi asks I nodded my head

"All except the ace, I've heard a lot about him. Oh! Is that him?" I point to the white and black haired vb player.

"Mhmm. Bokuto!" He calles the ace over.

Bokuto turns and meets my eyes.

Ngl I N S T A N T fear. I hid behind Akaashi as the Ace bounds is way over like a puppy.

"Hey hey hey!!! Agaaashiii is that the new manager?!" Bokuto asks excitedly as he leans from side to side trying to see me.

"You're too loud, you're scaring her." Akaashi states bluntly.

*que emo mode* "oh.. im sorry, I'll just go" He begins to shuffle away. I step out from behind the vice-captian and grab a hold of the back of Bokuto's shirt

"Wait! I'm sorry Bokuto-" he turns around still in emo mode. I meet his eyes once again, "I-I.. I'm sta- I'm sta-... mm I'm Star. Its a pleasure to.. Uh.. m-meet you. ImSorryYourEyesAreJustVeryIntimidating."

It took him a few seconds to understand the last sentence but all the dots seemed to connect after he heard that. I swear to you the biggest, stupidest grin appears on his face as he picks me up in twirling hug.

"AWE! That was so cute!" He sets me down and closes his eyes, "how about I talk to you with my eyes closed!? Then you can't see them!" He suggested which made me laugh

He was serious about this, this wasn't a joke. In fact, he did it for the next two weeks. He ran into a pole and at the point I told him I'll just have to get use to his eyes and hoped he wouldn't be offended if at times I could look at his eyes.

(This intimidating eyes thing is something I have to deal with when watching Haikyuu which sucks.. cause I love his character but those eyes give off such an intimidating aura.. Oikawa too.. sometimes tendou but less so than the other two)

[ajokeformur-ray]

I watched Joker tonight and typed out my thoughts as they occurred to me. Unedited; typos are guaranteed. I did this a few months ago and really enjoyed looking back at my thought process and I wanted to do it again so that I can look back and know that what I feel is real and true in my darkest times.

You're welcome to skip this; it's under a cut for ease of doing so. Warnings for occasional sexual comment lmao. There’s no self shipping in this, I don’t think.

word count: 2, 575.

I’M SOBBING and I’ve only just pressed play.

Heart squeeze Chest much ow

THERE HE IS

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nooooo baby omg don’t pretend - let yourself hurt if it hurts. Don’t pretend. 

Carnival Carnival Carnivalllllllll 😍😍😍😍😍

I am a Simp for one clown and his name is Carnival

Someone help him, I????

That sign hit Arthur as hard as my love for him did ksksksk

MY EYES BE LEAKIN💔💔💔💔💔

bb nooooo

Oh honey let me kiss those bruises and replace the marks of violence with love, hm? You’re safe with me.

Breathe, my love. Don’t fight the laughter. Let it out, let yourself go. 

Screams into a pillow because????? much sad must kiss

“have you been keeping up with your journal?” LIKE HE HAS TIME

oHHHHH boi’s close to losing his shit

Do it, Artie. Give ‘em hell.

“I think I did” YOU TELL HER!!💖💖💖

I want to be his cigarette. Where’s Satan??? I got a new deal for my blackened soul which he took at half price😂😂😂😂

I’d have my hand between the door and his head so fuckin fast I swear

“I just don’t wanna feel so bad anymore” yep SAME

ohhhh peekaboo🥺🥺🥺

this makes me giggle ksksksk i watch this scene when i feel sad bc it always makes me happy for the time it’s on

he’s so good with kids; he doesn’t have to try and think about what’s funny, he just does it, he’s himself and it works

FUCK OFF LADY CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S STRUGGLING????

give

him

back

his

card

casually wrinkling my nose against tears lmao

ohhh the way he looks up at those stairs from the bottom

i can feel his exhaustion

me too, my love

step step step step

god i wanna get him the fuck outta gotham

and into my arms and a soft, warm blanket

“eat. you need to eat” LITERALLY WHAT I TELL MYSELF EVERY DAY IN HIS VOICE BC OTHERWISE I JUST WOULDNT EAT???? I’m losing so much weight asdfghjk its not enough tho

SUPAH RATS

Did Arthur come up w that joke or was it actually a Murray joke????

HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT IM CRY??🥺🥺🥺🥺

“I WAS PUT HERE TO SPREAD JOY AND LAUGHTER”

YOU DO BABY, YOU DO!!!! EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!

go deepthroat a cactus randall - youre already a bit of a prick so🙃🙃🙃

“THE GUYS THINNK YOU’RE A FREAK BUT I LIKE YOU”

HOYT. YOU CAN GO SIT ON A CACTUS TOO

FUCK OFF

😡😡😡😡

“WHY WOULD ANYONE STEAL A SIGN”//”WHY DOES ANYONE DO ANYTIHNG?” HOYT YOU’RE SO FUCKING ILLOGICAL HERE IM????? ERIKA DOES NOT (ALSO WILL NOT LMAO IM A STUBBORN BIITCH) COMPUTE

Can arthur fuck me like he pounds the trash/????🥵🥵👀

those dark curls.... that crooked tooth... must kiss.🥺🥺🥺

pennys casual cruelty makes me so fucking angry

foreshadowingggggg ~  *JAZZ HANDS*

ugh the way he dances with that gun im👀🥵🥵🥵

he enjoys the power of it and his breathing gets deeper asdfghjk

clumsy baby omggggg i just COOED 🥺🥺🥺🥺

okay maybe im stupid but i genuinely dont understand this “senior who needs to graduate” skit i’m??? how is being an intro to western civ student funny im???? someone explain???

but also dont bc fuck that guy lmao arthur’s hilarious

true millenial humour (and brit humour lmao we’re dark asf)

THE WAY ARTIE TWIRLS HIS FINGERS AROUND HIS HAIR AND DANCES IN HIS SEAT IM???🥺🥺🥺

wanna curl up on his lap at night when hes writing and go to sleep with a 

blanket around our bodies🥺🥺🥺🥺

when arthur wears a shirt at home you KNOW it’s a daydream

THAT CROOKED TOOTH IM WANT KISS.

WAIT IS IT CALLED STAND UP COMEDY BC YOU STAND UP... AND ITS COMEDY???

23 FUCKING YEARS, PEOPLE... TO REALISE THAT🙄

WHEN CARNIVAL CAME ON SCREEN I NTHE HOSPITAL I MADE A PORNOGRAPHIC NOISE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

IF YOURE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, SHOOT MURRAY

WOOPS WRONG LYRICS

😂

“doctor of laughter”🥺🥺🥺🥺

doctor i have a case of the Big Sad can you... do an exam? 😉😏

NO BB DONT BEAT YOUR HEAD UP THERES PRECIOUS CARGO IN THERE

in what world does chucking cold greasy chips in a girls hair being “nice”???

lmao fuck these guys

ohhh honey breathe. dont fight it, my love, just breathe.

my heart’s breaking for you, you sweet thing🥺🥺🥺

i love you so so so so so so so much ugh you’re an actual fucking angel

just breathe darling

i need to get you a cup of tea with honey in it, your throat must be so sore

ohhhh baby im so sorry

i’d take every single punch if i could

i’d die for you

i wish i could protect you

i wish i could look after you

and take all those hits

and kill those guys for you

im so sorry

sobbingggg

YES GOOD MAN THANK YOUUU

KILL THOSE ASSHOLES LMAO DESERVED IT

yeah i have a grey morality... im similar to deadpool in that way tbh

carnival comin’ to kill your insecurities

8 bullets in a 6 chamber???? mm-hm

DONT FORGET YOUR BAG THATS EVIDENCE

AND THE WIG

RUN BABY RUNNNNNNN

GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOOOOO

RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE

THE SOUND OF HIS FEET SLAPPING THE PAVEMENT IM👀

OOOOOH JOKER’S WAKIN’ UUUUUUP

fuck he’s so hypnotic

the way he runs his hand down his lower stomach asdfghj🥵

must kiss the inner tendons on his wrists and lick the blood off his face 

must kiss

he moves like water

fuck hes so fluid

bathroom scene = the scene in which my heart and vagina clench at the same time

im WANT

T POSEEEEEEEE

“i still owe you for that, dont i?”

PUNCH OUT IS MY FAVOURITE THING E  V  E  R

D O N T S M I LE

UGH I FUCKING HATE being told to smile if i don’t fucking want to so BIG mood

PLEASE SHUSH ME THE WAY YOU JUST SHUSHED PENNY IM???

but also dont lmao bc i’ll think you’re mad at me and i’ll hide in the bedroom for the rest of the day lmao i’m sensitive✨✨✨

i wanna sit on his lap and still his bouncing knees

“thats not funny”

fuck off penny yes it is

I JUST CHOKED ON MY COFFEE IM???

“but i do” god the  P O W E R

ugh that fucking sexist piece of shit comedian can choke “women look at sex like buying a car” 🤢🤮🤢🤢🤮

chauvinistic pigs can die thanks

his lil trip upstage im cry🥺🥺🥺

ohhh baby. just breathe, darling. it’s okay to be scared. dont fight it. just breathe. 

he and i both cover our mouths when we laugh/smile in the exact same way and it makes me feel closer to him

how can they think hes laughing at himself when hes literally gagging????

people only see what they wanna

the Penny imitation is👌👌👌

s m i l e

i remember when i came home from seeing this for the first time, i got home and dropped to my knees to cry in the bathroom. it was such an emotional release and so much love and i played smile to try to make myself smile but i only made myself cry harder lmaooooo ~ 

smile and thats life are my go-to songs if i gotta cheer tf up

danger sign = neither works

he looks so soft after his “date”🥺🥺🥺

“thats life” yeah but murray you dont even leave the studio so how do you know????

ngl arthur’s anger scares me.

anyone so much as raise their voice at me and i’ll cry really bad and i will shut myself away for the rest of the day and quiet anger terrifies me so his banging abt in the kitchen would freak me tf out😲

angry bb😭

he controls his anger so fast though omgggg ~ 

that soft please sends me

idk where it sends me lmao

down below probably

BARE FACED CARNIVAL OMG THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE

I LOVE THE MATCHING COLOURS ON ARTHUR AND BRUCE TOO ???

okay but the implication that arthur always carries a clown nose on him is🥺🥺🥺

hes such a good clown im?????

lmao im enjoying the show more than bruce is skskskk

arthur’s lil chuckle makes me🥺

his HUMMING im??? soft?????

his brows are so strong and dark omggg ~ he’s so beautiful

OKAY i’ll be honest i’ve seen this alfred/bruce scene and the thomas bathroom scene later on and the penny flashback scene a 100 times and i still dont fucking understand what did or didnt happen regarding arthur’s parentage im????

 ive seen interpretations to say he is thomas’ son and some to say he isnt and i still cant decide so? im stupid i guess 🙃

“a clown thing?” the  s a s s

“it’s exit only” yeah so’s my ass🙃

if i was there in the hospital room i woulda turned that tv off as soon as i realised what clip was gonna play

murray’s cruelty is d i s g u s t i n g

lmao hes an asshole

arthurs lil clap from joyyyyy ~ 🥺🥺🥺

did i say murray???

i meant  m u r r a t

🙃🙃🙃

sneaky baby

wayne hall either has super bad security or arthurs v quick on his feet

🤔🤔🤔🤔

he looks so good in red omggg ~ 

f o r e s h a d o w i n g

arthurs smile when hes watching chaplin is how he smiles when we all gush to each other abt him and ourselves!!!

hes so cuuuuuute🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰

“told me what” 

ohhhh honey🥺🥺 im so sorry. “crazy” is a trigger word for arthur; it made him start laughing in the bathroom with thomas

“touch my son again ill fucking kill you” yeah?? touch my arthur again and i’ll fucking kill you🙃🙃🙃🙃

^^^ that ones a joke do not come at me

the clerk in arkham was nice to arthur - he, gary and sophie are the good gothamites.

none of it was enough to stop his descent into joker, though, and i’d even say it was too late right at the beginning of the film, too... 

his sock puppet thingy “they cut all those” is such a Joker thing to doooo ~ 

the way arthur’s laughing in the hall at arkham turns into sobbing is gut-wrenching omg the poor thing😭

i wanna hug him and protect him and help him to process this in a healthy way

sweetheart, if i could take all of your pain and put it onto me... i so would. i’d do it in a heartbeat.

i wanna get you into a hot shower, make you some food and sit and listen to you. we can either sit in silence or you can talk to me, my love, and you will be heard and understood and loved.

“i had a bad day”

IT’S OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY OMG YOU POOR SWEET INNOCENT THING IM LOVE YOU🥺💔

THAT ENTIRE LATE NIGHT SCENE LAUGH/SOBBING GOT ME -

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i just wanna hold you and protect you and help you and love you

I’m so fucking sorry, darling. i wish i could take it all away from you

“i havent been happy one minute of my entire fucking life”

NO ONE SHOULD LOOK THAT ANGELIC AFTER COMMITING MATRICIDE IM????

get

that

fucking

gun

away

from

your

face

boi dont test me ill fucking go feral or - no, tell you what, i’ll point the gun at me and see how you like it

im looking respectfully at the green speckled undies scene....👀👀👀

“coming” 😏😏😏

“my mum died im celebrating” and “i stopped taking my medication” and you STILL stayed in the apartment with Arthur????? dudes those are 🚨🚨🚨 signs

woe betide anyone who underestimates arthur fleck lmaoooo

randalls death scene makes me laugh every time omg i feel so vindictive

get WRECKED

i wanna lick the blood off his face. i really want to

ngl i think i have a blood kink... 

“dont look just go” ME WITH MY ACNE WHEN I SEE IT IN THE MIRROR 😂😂😂😂

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER 

ASDFGHJKL

J

O

K

E

R

ERIKA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERRRRRR

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 MY BABY MY MAN OMG THERE HE IS IM CRY???????😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺

my mind is literally blank rn im just staring and crying and smiling so hard my face hurts????? im love him so so so so much

sweet thing’s so used to pain he gets HIT BY A CAR AND KEEPS GOING????

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

hghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

euirrrrrrgkjbgkfbirsghigrbugr

*incoherent keyboardsmash to portray utter love*

ohhh baby no dont cry. oh honey😭 i wanna sit on your lap and kiss your tears away

“i love dr sally”

you have a WIFE at home

“DO YOU REMEMBER?” THAT WAS YOUR CUE TO APOLOGISE LMAO GET FUCKED MURRAT

he’s so CUTE

omgggg ~ 

my hearts gonna give out its SQUEEZING SO HARD IT HURTS

YOU MOCK THEM, BABY!!! THEY GOT IT COMING

“i wanna get it right” hes so passionate

my comments have deceased in number bc im just too starstruck and in love to even think clearly lmao

jokers all i know rn and this is the most peaceful ive felt in WEEKS

im sobbing

ugh fuck this hurts so BAD

youre speaking the truth, darling. im so so proud of you and i love you so much

“THEY COULDNT CARRY A TUNE TO SAVE THEIR LIVES” LMAO INSIDE JOKESSS

literally sobbing right now ugh what the fuck youre in so much pain and in the middle of a breakdown and no one saw you

ugh baby im so sorry, you deserve so much better

you tried so hard and you were gonna fall no matter what

IN THE WHITE ROOM

“hi” baby they cant hear you but im COOING 🥺🥺🥺🥺

you’re so fucking cute

say the word and ill burn gotham to the fucking ground for you

i wanna sit atop that car and cradle your head in my lap and wipe the blood off your face and help you stand up and be there for you and and and😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love you so so so much. 

i’d be so much worse off without you in my life. you brought a splash of colour which has never dimmed or faded. it never will. 

b l o o d    s m i l e

=

im wearing my inside on the outside now and it still hurts

angel💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i see you and your pain. i love you.

i see you, angel. 

his genuine laughter is🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

that cute lil “ksksks” he does im🥺🥺🥺

i always laugh with him omg the two of us are laughing together ugh its the closest i will ever get to sharing in his joy

 t h a t ‘s    l i f e

i love the hallway daaaaaaaaaaaaaance ~ 

them hips dont lie😉😉😉

i love you i love you i love you i love you omg the sun’s like a halo ugh i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you im singing along to thats life while i type out how much i love you at 220am lmaooooo ~ 

i   l o v e    y o u

[rowdeyclown]

the masks of majora’s mask ranking that no one asked for

i have many Thoughts about majora’s mask, it’s my favorite piece of media ever and honestly i could go on for ages talking about it, but today i wanna just talk about the masks of the game because i am very passionate about masks

im sorting this list by type of mask. there are only two types of masks to obtain, transformation and collectible, this is just to help me keep track of everything

transformation masks

the Deku mask. ngl deku link is super cute and he may not be the most powerful or fastest but he sure did spin his way into my heart. 7/10

the Goron mask. among other mm fans this seems to be the most popular of the transformation masks due to the incredible speed in which its possible to travel and raw strength with fighting. i personally am not the biggest fan of hand to hand combat using this mask but i sure do love to roll around at supersonic speeds. also this is the mask used for my favorite boss in the game, goht, and is also involved with goron racing which is also fun. speeding is very fun, shame that it only works when my magic meter is full. 8/10

the Zora mask. sorry i couldnt find a bigger png for it first of all but anyway this mask is the one that messes me up the most. you help a dying zora say his final words, then he kicks the bucket and leaves behind a mask which then lets you turn into a zora like what the actual fuck. gameplay wise this mask is my favorite, swimming is actually fun and it is my ideal hand to hand fighter, which is to say fast. 10/10

the Fierce Deity mask. okay. there is a lot to unpack with this one. whereas the other transformation masks are gained as part of the main quest, the fierce deity is only obtainable if you have collected all the other masks in the game. not much is known abt it but boy is it op as hell. like you can literally take out the final boss in like two minutes using this bad boy. the first time i played mm i tried to get the fierce deity mask but then promised myself i wouldnt use it for the final boss, but suddenly i had lost all my fairies and healing potions and i had half a heart left. i said “fuck it, mask time” and with the power of god and anime on my side i beat majora and saved termina without taking another hit. 100/10

collectible masks

Great Fairy’s mask. i thought the actual great fairies were creepy, but then i saw link wearing this mask and i havent been the same since. i have gotten quite a bit of use out of it since i like to collect all the fairies in the dungeons and this mask is required to lure some of them in, so i have to give it points for that. but honestly if it had no other valuable use i wouldnt touch it with a 10 foot pole. 5/10

Kamaro’s mask. OKAY this mask is really weird but also very funny and i think about it a lot. this mask is obtained from a dead dancer named Kamaro and using the mask link can do that same dance and with this ability he can earn a heart piece by teaching another pair of dancers this dance. the fact that its not even a real mask really kills me. theres that fleshy colored bit on the bottom that covers up the whole face and then the face of Kamaro is just sitting on top like a hat and its unreal. 7/10 

Bremen mask. now THIS mask, this one is special to me. you see, i was in marching band in high school and i also played mm for the first time around my senior year. this mask allows link to play a little song on his ocarina and march around! its so BIZARRE and i love it. also this mask is needed to obtain my actual favorite mask from the game. 10/10 

Bomb mask. makes link’s face explode but its okay because this is a video game and characters can survive shit like wearing a literal bomb on their face. 20/10

Bunny hood. THIS. THIS IS MY FAVORITE MASK. its not technically a mask actually but ignore that the point is that this mask is adorable, useful, and obtaining it makes me smile each time. to get this mask you have to start a marching band with baby cuccos using the bremen mask as i mentioned earlier. this mask is special because it boosts link’s movement speed significantly. its absolutely my most worn mask just because of the whole moving fast factor. all around a very solid and good design 10000/10 

Kafei’s mask. okay yes, it is creepy. its very weird. really you only need to wear it once but it is the catalyst of the biggest quest in the game that spans all three days and its also in my opinion the best zelda sidequest ever. so points to this mask for starting an iconic quest, but for the love of god stop staring at me with those empty eyes. 3/10

Keaton mask. obtained during the kafei quest. this mask is used to communicate with nine tailed fox-like creatures called keatons, and if link answers their riddles right he can gain a piece of heart. this is basically just a one use mask that really doesnt do any good in the long run. 4/10

Postman’s hat. turns link into a mailman. 10/10

Mask of Truth. dont even talk to me if this isnt what your third eye looks like. this mask is used to communicate with animals and talk to gossip stones. i wouldnt say this mask is really necessary as it is an optional item to use for a heart piece to collect but said heart piece can also be collected without it, tho it is significantly harder. 5/10

Mask of Scents. hehe piggy. 10/10 

Don Gero’s mask. remember that mask that turned you into a marching band kid? This turns you into the drum major. well, not really, but it is used to direct a choir made up entirely of frogs. basically the ideal mask. 10/10

Romani’s mask. allows link to enter bars despite being underage. i do not support underage drinking at all, especially when the underage person in question is like 10. -20/10

Garo’s mask. the first picture there is the mask as seen in the original n64 game and the second is the redesign from the 3ds remake. why did they make such a drastic change? beats me. the mask itself allows link to talk to invisible ninjas and is involved heavily with ikana valley. ikana is a weird and complicated location, and the abilities of this mask truly help build the atmosphere of the area and game in general. 8/10 

Captain’s hat. tricks skeletons into thinking that link is their leader. idk how that even works since its not even a transformation mask. idk maybe the skeletons are just stupid. also one of two masks that cause redeads to dance rather than scream at you so thats a plus. 7/10

Stone mask. this mask is so weird, it turns link invisible to almost all characters. its very useful for infiltrating the gerudo fortress and for the quest to earn a certain other mask, but is also not required. it is very funny looking though. i do prefer to use it over doing actual stealth since im lazy so this mask is actually useful for my particular tastes. 8/10 

Troupe Leader’s mask. okay THIS MASK. THIS MASK IS THE REASON WHY I WANTED TO MAKE THIS LIST IN THE FIRST PLACE. this mask is literally pointless. the mask itself cries and can stop bandits from attacking you in a certain side quest, however doing that side quest is pointless at that point since that side quest is literally how this mask is obtained. its pointless and stupid. in the 3ds remake it can be used to get an empty bottle but the fact that it literally was completely unusable and pointless in the original game just goes to show how much of a waste of space this mask is. -100/10

All-Night mask. this mask is terrifying and keeps me from falling asleep. incidentally, thats its actual ability. according to some text in the game this mask was used as a torture device at one point which is uhhhhhh. hm. yeah. the actual use for it in the game is literally a thing to keep link from falling asleep out of boredom. what an absolute nightmare of a mask. 1/10

Gibdo mask. makes gibdo (aka mummies) think link is one of them which is useful for not dying to one but boy is it terrifying. the second of two masks that make redeads dance instead of scream at you. 3/10

Couple’s mask. this mask is the product of the entire kafei and anju quest. it doesnt look like much and is only useful for one moment in game to obtain a piece of heart but its true value lies in the journey travelled to collect it. this mask was born as a representation of the love between the characters kafei and anju, and that whole quest is beautiful and heart wrenching and this mask brings it to a satisfying close. infinity/10 

Giant’s mask. doesnt even look like the actual giants in the game. 0/10

[writting-thingz]

If I were a Haikyuu Manager

Fukurodani

Dear lord…

Okay we’ll start with the girls, after I learn about Yukie’s love for food I start bring in bentos in for her. (What can I say I like making and giving things, food, crafts, art, etc.)

Kaori and I get along. We tend to giggle a lot when we make conversation and fend off yukie when making food for the camp.

As always I shall protect the 1st years because they are precious. Granted there’s only two but that’s doesn’t change anything!

“Hey Star! How is it fair Yukie always gets bento from you but we don’t?” Komi asks with Sarukui and Konoha nodding in agreement behind him.

“Because she and Kaori gotta deal with and take care of you guys.” 😑 me, “I’ll tell you what. Win your next game and I’ll bring in a treat for the team, yeah?” 😊

“If I were you guys I’d win that next game, ause if she brings in sweets oo-hoo-hoo~ ” Yukie smiles with her eyes dazed and dream-like at the thought of food.

Akaashi, baby, sweetie, darling, dumpling, AHDHFKB Hello🥰 (thats meant in 100% platonic, I promise). Okay but for real, I’d be hesitant to talk to him because I wouldn’t want to bother him. I’d like to think he’s a bit of a book worm and so before practice we’ll trade books. This helps when he’s overthinking things because it gives me a topic to distract him with for a moment to give his brain a break. After a moment or two we can get back to when he was thinking about and we’ll discuss the pros and cons laying everything out for his brain so it isn’t as scary.

(Talk about needing to take some of my own advice here… ACHEM ANWAYS)

By this point you’re probably thinking that wasn’t so bad.. so why did she say oh lord in the beginning? Patience is a viture..

Ah.. Bokuto… *sigh* listen he’s an amazing person really. I adore him and his personality. IN FACT! There is only one thing about him that bothers me.. and thats the intimidation that comes from his eyes. This is how first meeting him went-

“Ah, so you’ve met every one else then?” Akaashi asks I nodded my head

“All except the ace, I’ve heard a lot about him. Oh! Is that him?” I point to the white and black haired vb player.

“Mhmm. Bokuto!” He calles the ace over.

Bokuto turns and meets my eyes.

Ngl I N S T A N T fear. I hid behind Akaashi as the Ace bounds is way over like a puppy.

“Hey hey hey!!! Agaaashiii is that the new manager?!” Bokuto asks excitedly as he leans from side to side trying to see me.

“You’re too loud, you’re scaring her.” Akaashi states bluntly.

*que emo mode* “oh.. im sorry, I’ll just go” He begins to shuffle away. I step out from behind the vice-captian and grab a hold of the back of Bokuto’s shirt

“Wait! I’m sorry Bokuto-” he turns around still in emo mode. I meet his eyes once again, “I-I.. I’m sta- I’m sta-… mm I’m Star. Its a pleasure to.. Uh.. m-meet you. ImSorryYourEyesAreJustVeryIntimidating.”

It took him a few seconds to understand the last sentence but all the dots seemed to connect after he heard that. I swear to you the biggest, stupidest grin appears on his face as he picks me up in twirling hug.

“AWE! That was so cute!” He sets me down and closes his eyes, “how about I talk to you with my eyes closed!? Then you can’t see them!” He suggested which made me laugh

He was serious about this, this wasn’t a joke. In fact, he did it for the next two weeks. He ran into a pole and at the point I told him I’ll just have to get use to his eyes and hoped he wouldn’t be offended if at times I could look at his eyes.

(This intimidating eyes thing is something I have to deal with when watching Haikyuu which sucks.. cause I love his character but those eyes give off such an intimidating aura.. Oikawa too.. sometimes tendou but less so than the other two)

[beebosbitchh]

1-65 ;)

holy heck ! thank you sophiw i lov u 🍒

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

i dont understand this question?? like sometimes i doubt my own existence and other times i doubt that i exist to certain ppl? ya?

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

2,, normal amount? like good for sleep but pitch black is scaryy but not to the point i need the escape ?? if that makes sense??

3. The person you would never want to meet?

guy fieri, i dont think i need to know if hes actually real ? like is he real and from this dimension or from flavortown (which he has a very scarily detailed description of)?? thats not something i need to know

4. What is your favorite word?

hmm, probably ‘fam’ obviously

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

a willow tree !!!!!!!!!! i just talked to my mom about this :-0

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

ngl but i dont look in the mirror anymore unless its lip syncing along to a song sung by a guy/someone w a deeper voice bc i feel like it suits me better! gotta love coping w dysphoria!

7. What shirt are you wearing?

baseball tee, gay

8. What do you label yourself as?

nb, lesbian, fool

9. Bright room or dark room?

dark room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

slepe

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

10-11 when i was in 5th grade. i still only had two friends but i was way more extroverted and everything was so carefree and i was very invested in adventure time and art. i think that was the most of a childhood i got? i honestly did not do much as a kid and i wish i had..

12. Who told you they loved you last?

sophiw ! tumblr user almightyportraits ! the loml !

13. Your worst enemy?

x

14. What is your current desktop picture?

one from apple called ‘abstract shapes’ its very orange but also blue which is my fave color pairing atm so its perfect

15. Do you like someone?

tumblr user vahilla

16. The last song you listened to?

megan played ‘marceline’ by willow in her car ! a song i suggested to her a few months ago and it makes me very happy that she likes it especially bc we bonded over adventure time in 6th grade :-)

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

mmyy seelfff ??

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

mmmyseyyffelllff ??

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? 

eh whats the point

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

n o ne ? 

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

what is the opposite of nb,, i feel like if i was opposite of how i present id be a girl, which is a verryyy weird thought for me, pass

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

no :-/

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

uh first of all blood, like, ill pass out,, second of all,, literally everything worries me

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

jimmy johns #16, turkey, bacon, lettuce, tomato, NO MAYO

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

im a very practical person so the least boring answer i can come up w is more art supplies

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

denmark

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

fukcing , acetoNe

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

i think a FIRST rule would have to be pretty IMPORTANT so probably smt like how ~WE THE PEOPLE~ are all EQUAL would be a pretty good start and pretty UNDENIABLE and STRAIGHT FORWARD especially if it was the FIRST thing in this,, hmm lets call it the CONSTITUTION, in the completely hypothetical society

29. What is your favorite expletive?

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuk cufck ufc kfuck 

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

sunglasses??!!! that shit gotta be bright huh>?? gotta protect my retinas 

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

i wanna say my first relationship made me a better person but that shit was rreeeaaallyyyy fucking awful and 4 months (+recovery months) that i will never get back and i think ? maybe ?? i wouldve been ok without it ? idk just a thought

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! 

spain ?!?!? why not + i sorta know the language? thatd b cool

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

zoey my dog :-( i miss her a lot, this month it will have been two years oh my god i miss her so much

34. What was your last dream about?

the last one i remember was a nightmare about someone tryna murder me i was very scared

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

i think so , when i was two i got really really sick and couldve died ?

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

ahh yes ! we gave hhimm,, fruit snack nipples, please forgive me fathr

38. What is the color of your socks? 

grey w blue n orange stripes ( again i lov blue n orange together, my shirt is teal and i have an orange hat on wow)

39. What type of music do you like?

all! i had to train this new guy at work and im sooo awkward but once why started talking about music it was easy for me to talk bc it was smt we both really like !!! i felt like i could actually communicate w feeling a disconnect it was nice ! we talked mostly about rap which was cool and unexpected but i could do it ? i really love music and i love being able to know enough to talk about it ,, isk 

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises, ive been pushing myself to wake up unreasonably early to have more time to myself and i get to watch the sunrise most days which is nice

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

chocolate 

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

whom?

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

college? god i dont even know… smt w art.. by an illustrator or art teacher or freelance artist or graphic designer ,, i really dont know

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

one thing ?!!?!? i wish i was neurotypical

46. Are you reliable?

yes? i try hard to be? i hope so ?

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

u still a lil bitch ?

48. Do you hold grudges? 

nope i try not to, ive had too many toxic petty people in my life that i dont need to be one myself.. now this is grudges w/o reason, but if ive given people several ‘second chances’ and theyre still (thumbs down) then ill avoid them but w/i reason?

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

DOG HORSES BIG DOGs

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

mm probably smt w my lab partner from last year. she always sends me weird quotes from a fanfiction shes reading and its weird but i really appreciate that she still talks to me or talks to me at all tbh

51. Are you a good liar?

nooo ?? i try not to lie? mb not tell the full truth but idk , i feel like id feel too guilty

52. How long could you go without talking?

uhh literally days like i already fucking do.. i m taking this as verbally but i dont get texts so like, it would not be hard

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

before i went to short hair i used to alllwaayyys wear a tight ponytail every single day bc i wasnt girly enough to do anything w it and it was really really gross like thank god i cut it all off

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

heck yeah

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

*clears throat*

h-

hewwo?

56. What do you like on your toast?

butter and jam

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

x

58. What would be you dream car?

razor scooter

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

sometimes im just too physically or emotionally exhausted to stand so ill just,, lay down? ive fallen asleep in the shower before ha

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yup

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

whenever it comes up but i dont ,, seek it out

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

Q

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

dragons tf

64. What do you think about babies?

evil, ugly, dont see the appeal. open ur eyes ppl !!!! bbs are n Ot cute !!

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

x

[clarenecessities]

5/2/17

ahh well. we had another session with Lilis (my grandson) this morning, and then he and his husband went back to Galway which is terrifically depressing bc i love him and i want him to stay forever

mm i was still tired from yesterday so i came up and took a nap after, ‘til we had class again at two. an adorable old man named Paddy Beg (as distinct from Paddy Mor) took us down to the Anglican church, which had been built on the site of an old Catholic monastery, which had in turn been built on a pagan burial ground. so you walk through the cemetery and it’s in chronological order of religion, heheh. so he took us down in the sous-terrain that the Catholic monks had built to hide from the vikings, & it was pretty sweet ngl. assessing my damages from the day reveals i got some pretty bruised knees but that bit was worth it, i think. you couldn’t stand up all the way & for one of the adjunct tunnels you had to crawl. sat with ben and hunter and brionna? brianna? for a while, making shadow puppets and enjoying the “dank cave”. upon emerging i made a series of puns (only one i can remember now is correcting kayleen saying she self-identified as an elf (in response to being called a vampire bc she wore all black and a sunhat today to avoid yesterday’s sunburn mistakes & you know, emerging from the dark cave into a cemetery) to saying she ‘elf-identified’) and perhaps the worst daisy chain mankind has ever seen. i’ve still never been taught so i just tried braiding the poor bastards & ultimately tied them together with another daisy and left them on the door of the sous-terrain.

next was the standing stone and mostly-buried portal dolmen in the next field over, which is the first stop on Colmcille’s pilgrimage if you’re ever in the Middle of Nowhere, Donegal on June 9th. they were both pre-Christian sites that got co-opted, so the standing stone has crosses and things carved on it and things. what you do on the pilgrimage is, you take off your shoes at the dolmen, circle 3 times clockwise (saying 3 prayers three times each go around) and then walk around the 9 sites across the entire godforsaken valley, and then come back covered in thistle stings and mud and probably a great deal of sheep shit, having prayed for your own sake on the way between the sites. apparently most people doing it leave their shoes on, which is probably for the best 

then we went back to yesterday’s Hell Mountain. i was beginning to have a bit of trouble on the way there, overheating and nerve pain in my leg bc yesterday took like, every single muscle in my body. rested on the way up on a big flat rock which was unfortunately surrounded in stinging nettles that got me through my sleeve :p on the bright side it was pretty hilarious and ben got a good picture of me–i was holding a 2 liter of diet pepsi with my arms crossed over it like a mummy bc i guess that’s how i fucking lie

well eventually we made it up to Colmcille’s bed, which is part of a larger site, the walls of the cell he relegated himself to in penance. there were four big piles of stones (like, knee-deep and about seven feet across) with crosses erected, & Paddybeg said he (or somebody, didn’t quite hear that part) had carried them up the mountain in penance. and like, big stones, head-sized stones. y’all know Colmcille’s deal? he copied a book without the author’s permission, they fought over it, eventually the case wound up with the High King who said, “to each cow its calf, to each book its copy” and basically  established copyright law. but you know, Colmcille, being a Donegal man, he took off with the book in the night, and all the Donegal chiefs (chieves?) assembled their clans and went to battle with the High King (who was fucking pissed, it was literal treason) and long story short, thousands and thousands of people died. so Colmcille was like “oh shit. i fucked up.” and tried to like, do right by God by doing all this stuff. he slept on a stone bed wherever he went, and this particular bed, the clay from under it supposedly protects a house from burning down if you build a pinch into its foundation. There are also two round stones, one about the size of a cantaloupe for migraines (you rub it in a circle on your scalp three times) and a second that wasn’t there today, about the size of an apple, that i’m guessing youu rub on your eyes or something bc it’s supposed to cure blindness.  Paddybeg said during the troubles he saw a carload of mothers come up for some of the clay, bc hey lived in Derry, and… well, you know. no word on if it worked but i sure hope so

after that was the chair, and that took… a while. i had to stop and rest for long enough that Sean noticed, and then Paddy noticed, and suddenly everybody’s concerned bc i looked admittedly close to death (frankly i always do, it was more a matter of my not wisecracking that was cause for concern). but i kept up with everyone alright in the end, drank of a few people’s waters, focused on keeping my leg where it was supposed to be bc it’s surprisingly difficult to keep track of, particularly w the nerve pain. we came along to Colmcille’s chair, which is a sort of throne built out of rocks, that overlooks most of the valley–and it is beautiful. we were high enough up that we were getting some good wind, which helped w the overheating. Paddybeg had us pick up three pebbles (or rocks; he said they could be as large as we liked). i picked one that looked like a fang, a lump of pure white quartz, and a bit with two little scars, filled with crystals. like a baby geode

then we got to the Holy Well–nice modest little shrine, the well itself, and about a million fucking rocks, all in piles. some of them were pumpkin-sized, some so teeny they might’ve been there beforehand, but we all added our rocks to the piles and sat down while Paddy told us about Colmcille’s life and death and reburial and all sorts of things. When we came down the mountain, a bit back before the chair Paddybeg had brought his car (on account of he’s old and has too much arthritis to go killing his ankles on a mountain) and he gave me a ride back down. oh, and abie, who he’d also given a ride up. on the way back we passed hunter petting a 5th cat, a white tom with tabby patches who i’m determined to find again

went to the chipper (longest walk of my life) and got some food before i keeled over in the street–OH! when we were getting ready to leave for our hike, i got to meet Ace!!! he’s a yellow lab & the village dog & i love him but he also brought his friend, a border collie who i Extra Love bc he liked to sit in my lap. they walked part of the way to the church with us. uh where was i.. yes dinner, so i got dinner at the chipper & went back home until class started in an hour and a half or so

we had a poet come in and talk to us about writing poetry & then wound up writing our own poems. ii wrote mine about my dad bc a lot of dudes here have freakishly similar jawlines. i mean,, it’s almost like they’re all irish or something

there’s no hike tomorrow so i get to decompose in peace for once, but pray for me anyway–we’ve got language first thing