#its literally fucking bonkers. just know that. its bonkers

[syn-odics]

thinking today about the time i went to get fitted for new pointe shoes and i was like "yeah i've been wearing these shoes in size 4.5E for years and they fit really well, I just wanna know what other designs have come up in the last few years" and she straight up looks at me and goes "there's no way you're an E. that's the wrong size for you". like ... ?????????? what ?????? i just told you i've been happily wearing these for like 8 years. what's your damage babe

[toytulini]

the fact that captain james flint from black sails, poorest little meow meow to ever walk this earth, was not even on the poor little meow meow vote is a almost a hate crime honestly

[lunarsapphism]

there really is something so devastating about having a parent that has a literal degree in psychology (specialized in child psychology) who worked as a birth to three child developmental resources coordinator for like fourteen years and knowing that because of those things, they will never believe you when you think you have something because they think they know more than you and also know you better than you know yourself. and in any scenario the only way they will EVER agree with you is if they came up with the idea of the diagnosis first. wild shit honestly

[beeseverywhen]

Help! How to turn the instinctual need to beat on a shitty teacher who's being shitty to a child you love in to something actually useful that will actually help the kid. I need to send a message other than 'your teacher is a dick and deserves to be punched' while still undoing the teachers lesson in unreasonableness

[justauthoring]

a promise he'll keep.

requested! -> also “who did this to you” with astarion would go absolutely bonkers. food for thought requested by! -> @the-sunflower-room

a/n -> thank you for your request! i saw your other one as well and definitely plan on writing it hopefully soon! also! i literally have been in love with this man since the game came out but im so nervous about writing for him i never gained the courage... tho, meeting neil yesterday made it feel like its only write i finally commit and write to him!

tw -> mention of blood, bruises and cuts/violence

pairing -> astarion x f!reader/tav

blood poured from the rather large cut across the side of your forehead, staining your skin and seeping into the tiny cuts littered across your cheek and jaw. bruises lined your neck, in the shape of a hands, and astarion was sure that the rest of your body mimicked the damage across your face.

armour torn, shaking and hurt, astarion's heart burns with a rage he's not felt in a long time.

long ago had he forgotten about the bloodlust of fighting. long ago had he healed from the trauma of his past. years had passed since astarion had first met you and years had passed since the both of you, along with the rest of your companions, healed yourselves from the parasites in your mind and effectively, saved the world.

your bodies had never quite healed though. the trauma of what you'd both experienced had never faded and most likely never would. you'd both accepted that as a fact of your lives and used each other as a means of healing from it.

it had been years since astarion has seen you bloodied and hurt like this, and it feels ten times worse then it ever had before. never a fighter, the second you'd no longer been forced to fight for survival, astarion knows you'd given up that part of your life.

you were strong. there was no doubting that. you could hold yourself and you'd proved that well enough given what you'd done for the world and most importantly, your companions. more than anything, you'd proved that with how you saved astarion from his tormentor and the horror of his past.

but you look so vulnerable in that moment; broken and hurt and bruised and his chest tightens, nails digging into the palms of his hands as the rage coarses through him, burning his veins and has him desperate to make whoever hurt you pay.

painfully.

"who..." and his words hesitate, the fire his chest making it hard to find his words. he doesn't want you to think any of his anger is directed at you... "who did this to you?"

you twitch at his words, arms coming around to hold yourself as you shiver, hesitating.

astarion's face falls.

taking a step towards you, he reaches out for you, hands moving to cup your cheeks, gently and wary of your wounds. he worries you'll pull away, given how afraid you are, but you know astarion and recognize his touch and some of the rage fades with concern and love for you as you lean into his touch.

his fingers work to brush the blood from your face, get rid of the dirt and grime that clings to your skin and tries to soothe you.

your eyes flutter shut in response.

"i'm sorry," astarion whispers. "i'm sorry, i don't mean to scare you."

you shake your head, humming in disagreement. "you didn't scare me."

astarion hates the way your voice trembles.

"i don't want you getting hurt for me," you explain. "you don't deserve that."

and astarion shakes his head. "it doesn't matter if it's you." he assures and he frowns when he realizes he might've not made that clear enough. he had a lot to make up for if you think that he wouldn't do anything for you. "i can't let them get away with hurting you like this."

"i'm okay," you try to deny.

astarion just tightens his grip on you, not enough to hurt you, of course, but enough to pull your attention on him. "you're not," he argues, desperate for you to understand how much it pains him to see you hurt like this. "you're bleeding, y/n. and fuck... you're hurt, badly. it breaks my heart to see you like this."

your eyes fall on him at that. wide eyes meeting his own as your lips part, as if shocked by his admission. maybe shocked wasn't the word—he likes to think the expression on your face is one of reassurance at how much his heart burns with love for you.

the tears that you'd been holding back fall then, your bravety and strength fading at astarion's warming and soothing words. they build at the corner of your eyes and astarion is quick to brush them away.

"i'll never let them hurt you again," he promises then, meaning every word of what he says. he says them with confidence, desperation and sincerity, eyes softening with a plea as he holds onto you, afraid you might slip from his very fingers. "them or anyone else."

your hand grabs his, squeezing.

"i know," you whisper, "this isn't your fault."

he just shakes his head; "it's whoever did this to you's fault," he assures, although the twinge of guilt that festers in his belly is undeniable. he should've been there with you, keeping you safe; even if you knew you were capable of keeping yourself safe... having him there would've assured him and would've stopped this from ever happening.

"y/n," he calls again, voice soft, measured and even as he stares into your eyes and doesn't let you pull away. "who did this to you?"

and your lips part, breathing shakily but there's an ease that washes across your expression and then the names of the men who hurt you come pouring from your lips.

astarion memorizies them, keeps them trapped in his mind as he nods. "thank you." and he is thankful. thankful that you trust him to do what he'd promised. thankful that you know he won't fail you.

"i'll make it better, okay?" he whispers, his thumb stroking across your cheek as he pulls you into his arms, a hand falling on the back of your neck to press you into his chest. "i promise."

you hum your response, leaning into his touch before letting him guide towards your home so he can dress and clean your wounds.

and most importanly, shower you in the love you deserve.

[lokativa]

People calling Hobie×Miles (punkflower) shippers proshippers as if we didn't ship them for longer than the movie even came out will always be crazy to me.

I've seen lots of people sending threats, or reporting people because they made punkflower, goldenflower (pavxhobie), ghostbyte (gwenxmargo), flowerbyte (margoxmiles), etc, arts or videos. Going to assume that it isn't because most of these ships are POCs ships, there's just literally no point to do that.

First of all, there's no confirmation of hobie's age. If ur basing urself of that one interview, then it was of the CONCEPT of hobie, and even so remember it was only one person who said it. Its heavily implied thats he's a teenager throughout the movie. (Also in the art book, its said that he's slightly older than Miles).

For the thing about him going to the pub and all, minors can and will go in pubs, (not saying that its always legal) are yall living under a rock or just dense on purpose? Teenagers do wtv the fuck they want, even when theyre not allowed to. Youre all going to tell me teenagers respect the rules of not drinking and go to clubs becuz theyre underage? Come off it. Also hobie literally merked his president and u think he'd draw the line at drinking alcohol as a minor? HA.

Aside from that, to be fair to everyone, the directors keeps on changing what they're saying about hobies age, one day they'll say and imply he's a minor and the next second say he's an adult. It's like they all have different idea of this character's age. So, nothing is really comfimed, and his age is really up to interpretation.

Now that we're past THAT point, the other kind of people talking about his age are people saying "oh but he looks old" "that man is most definitely 30yo" "there's no way he's underage" things of the sort, u get it. And I'm just over here like??? Why is it impossible for you to think that this guy could be a teen? Is it the air? The wrinkles? What makes it seem like for you that there's no way he could be around the other teens' age? And 30??? Cmon. People often assume black people are older than they look, which is a universal experience for all of us. Did none of u ever see a blk teen who doesnt have a baby face? Because thats literally what hobie looks like to me. To others we can seem too "mature" for our age, or just look too "old" to be the age we say we are, so is it really impossible for him to be a teenager? Think about it.

(Speaking of him being black, this discourse turned into some kind of racist thing that honestly was not unexpected at all. Yall come over here shitting on people talking and educating u about a character they relate to cuz hes like them, and the representation is making them go bonkers. I don't know why yall can just sit ur arses and listen for a bit, its not that difficult tbh. And dont get me started on the mischaracterisation of his character. Marking him as "an angry black man"? Really? Be. Fucking. Original.)

Same goes with Margo?? Yeah in the comics she's in college, but cmon now u guys know damn well she's a teenager in atsv😭. Gwen is also much older in the comics but i never see anyone talk about it, so what does that mean???The only reasons I can see that you all don't want Miles & margo to be together is because you're all stuck on the milesxgwen ship. News everyone, other ships exist, not everyone is going to like the same ships as you, so either move on or stop being on the Internet.

Also, the thing about pav being 13 is bonkers, where'd u even get that from? I need to know asap. "Oh, but he has a gf!" Yeah? Well he has two hands. (Idk why u all act as if that has ever stopped anyone)

Everything just seem like a race thing to me tbh.

The movies might be inspired from the comics, but not everything is going to be 100% the same. For exemple: gwen is 2 yrs older than Miles in the comics, but in movies she's only 15 months older, Jess Drew is white in the comics and black in the movie, Miguel O'hara is white passing in the comics, compared to his version in atsv where he has brown skin, lyla's disign is also different.

You get it? Things are going to differ as much as things are going to be the same, because (get ready!!) this is the multiverse! Just as earth-616 is just one universe in all the marvel comics, atsv is another universe.

All in all, im not saying u can't view them as adults, or wtv u want, thats ur interpretation, but don't go around being pissy at people around u cuz they have different point of views.

[ganondoodle]

was at my sisters house to watch the cats a bit and played some botw again after a long time, spent an hour running around phirone (faron) and checking out all the cool sonau (zonai) stuff and i felt a wave of sadness wash over me, those ruins there feel so ... heavy with story, with sadness of tragedy, with the thrill of the unkown, yet its revealed to be nothing in totk, i honestly dont feel like the sonau of botw and of totk are at all releated tbh, theres like, NO design overlap besides sometimes some dragon-like figures that feel more like they put them into totk just to have some connection at all-

the botw sonau ruins are all full of curves hewn into dark stone with red accents, theres swirls and snakes everywhere, appropriately withered by time and weather- it was already a stupid idea to replace the shiekah tech with literally another ancient highly advanced civilaztion, but then to not even make them look or feel at all connected to the little things that were there?? totk sonau is white stone and gold and green, its all extremely angular and clean cut, together with weird hologram shit that reads, somehow, as both unfittingly techy to everything else while also neither mechnical nor magical

its fucking bonkers, i know they put some totk sonau bullshit into some of the ruins in totk, like the main ones in phirone but like, especially in that case with the direct comparison its so jarring and artificial, and i hate the excuse of "hylians built those different looking buildings as a monument to the sonau", like we needed more shitty excuses for bad writing decisions- the ancient AND current hylian stuff aligns more with totk sonau stuff, why would they adopt a completely different style to built shit around actual sonau stuff that somehow also looks like it was abandoned like, 50 years, 100 years ago, not over TEN THOUSAND years ago, both the botw sonau ruins and the shiekah tech look more ancient than anything totk sonau

and what for??? i imagine more botw sonau style ruins and like, thats entirely possible, why make it sth utterly different and give it a shitty excuse?? its so unnecessary?? like okay make the wheels out of withered stone hanging together like clumps by invisible magic like how the iwaroks (the .. stone enemy) works- i still would like it sicne i dont like the whole building thing in botws world, but at least it would feel like truly magic bs and fit into the design of botw sonau (even though im still not over NOTHING ever hinting that they were one step away from spaceships hologram aliens, the refusal to work with the stuff they themselves have put into their games drives me up a wall, YOU PUT IT THERE! DO SOMETHIGN WITH IT!)

just to put some modern tech into it? was it worth it?? (no)- and there i could even go on about how much i hate the 'tech' design too, its too little mechanical to be called 'tech' but too modern tech like to call it 'magic', (a balance which the shiekah tech did tremendously well imo) i keep being impressed with how conflicting and incoherent design and story can be in this one single overpriced game

(the reason them making it so modern techy looking was so players would immediately know what it was apparently and i just ... doesnt that make it more boring? like instead of the shiekah stone(slate) they just put a flip phone with numbered buttons and all and give it a vaguely stone texture? instead of like, a guardian with its spider legs and strange creepy design, just put a fucking tank there??? (and like, in a way i feel like the fact that they still tried to not make it look too modern by putting that green texture on it and like, a face here and there, makes it WORSE, a bad cover up is worse to me than none at all, like a shitty explanation can make sth worse than no explanation at all *ahem* literally every interview they did >:C )

also i dont know how you could even design a fan so it doesnt look like a fan? you dont need to put in literal car wheels with suspension and all in there to make it clear its a wheel bc how would you even design a wheel so it doesnt read like a wheel???

since when did they get so anxious about players not understanding something?? the whole series was built on puzzles of varying difficulty, whats with the sudden loss in trust in the player?? botw was already pretty easy but in totk the whole game treats you like you cant think or remember sth for more than 30 seconds to the point it gets actively agonizing to play through- the same two sentences of unimportant info repeated and shown to your face over and over, both in story and gameplay- and even with their immediately readable design choices for the sonau 'tech' they made half teh shrines either sloggingly slow tutorials or one puzzle shrines that are dedicated to teach you how the obvious thing works when you really learn it all on the literal tutorial island AND its obvious from the start BECAUSE THEY WANTED IT TO BE OBVIOUS!! its fun to figure things out and try stuff, its no fun to have a step by step guide glued to your forehead at all times especially when its so obvious, yes thanks for teaching me that a literal fire hydrant spits out water!! wow! never thought about that! thanks for telling me it 5 times too!! (even if it annoys me that they can just do that when not connected to the ground .. would have been more fun to make puzzle with if they were,,), its part of why i felt like the game was so condescending or outright laughing at me-

why even try to teach me how a fan works over and over when like, there arent even any creative things you can do with it in a reasonable amount of time and its never needed or incentivised either bc the game just hands you the literal solution or at the very least give you the four parts or what that you need to make what you need, like pulling apart two bricks of baby lego in fornt of a toddler to see if they can put them back together once you hand it to them

and dont come at me with the "its for kids" argument, the old games were too and theres alot of stages of 'kid', they arent stupid either and nintendo should know that they have alot of adult fans too, it doesnt need to be dark souls and its allowed to have easy stuff in there but the fact that it never gets any more challenging is the problem, yes part of the fun in games can be making your own rules and messing around but it really shouldnt be controversial to want a 70 bucks game to offer a fun experience without you having to make it fun all on your own (i for one dont enjoy spending 30 minutes glueing togehter a tank with ear shattering lasers just to inefficiently beat up 3 bokblins i could just swing my sword at for a few seconds instead and are not worth the materials spend anyway)

in the end it would have been less immersion breaking and more fun if they straight up put a honda civic into the game you can summon anywhere at no cost (hmmmm where did they just do it before hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm) and transforms like a batmobile to fly around in rather than the weird sonau nuts and bolts hassle you have to put up with, costs stuff, can waste hours of your time and despawn as soon as you look away from it unless you want to make le funny tiktok videos i guess

its such a waste too bc the mechanic itself IS impressive, but its utterly missplaced in this game, it would have needed its own, truly own, game built around it, placing it in botws world is like dumping a bunch of knock off brand toys into a world that felt believable and meaningful turning it to feel like its really just a game for you to mess around in, never has a game felt more gamey to me and it SUCKS to have that magic pulled away like that, silly me for letting them make me care about it i guess

maybe its petty but as someone how really cares alot about design stuff, both visually and gameplay wise, it makes me furious to think about (as you can tell) .. also hyperfixation go brrrrrrr

(this is obviously my view on it, writing this to get it out, not to argue, i believe i have heard all the arguments already anyway and by this point all that is left is just insulting me directly lol)

[oinkinpigprince]

Charlie and Pim x pregnanthuman!reader!!?? nf/ ofc

Idk if you mean like, polyamory or separate but I’ll go w/ separate just in case. I think it’s so funny how the internet forms its language. Using x to mean shipping and ! As a form of tagging a specific thing, so silly :33c

Pregnant!Human!reader headcanons

Pim

So excited!! He’s ALWAYS wanted to be a father, he plans everything for the kid. Kinda over plans shit and you have to step in lest you have no say in the baby stuff

Loves all the maternity things like gender reveal, baby shower, ultrasound pics. He’s so ecstatic for everything. Pim will gladly help with anything you need too!

Pim will help you with anything you need, he is on your beck and call. Need a hot bottle? got one in the micro wave, want peanut butter and onions? Disgusting! Right away. He doesn’t questions anything

Pregnancy hormones are a bitch but he’s willing to soothe you about anything. He can’t understand how hard it is, but wants to help you.

When the first kick happens he’s so excited! Asks what it feels like and is, kinda horrified, it actually feels like being punched in the stomach? That’s bananas

Shows everyone in the office the ultrasound photos, he has a picture in his wallet, he has it as his phone screen. He doesn’t care who they are they WILL see his baby.

Will gently rub your tummy when you two cuddle. He just finds it soothing. Knowing his baby is in there, and you’re right here.

Pim is truly delighted to be having a baby and he couldn’t be happier to have it with you, the love of his life. No matter what he’ll try and be a great father.

Charlie

When you first told him you were pregnant he literally said “oh, for how long” “uhh, nine months probably.” “Oh, that’s cool that’s cool.” Reality didn’t hit him yet

BUUUT when it did he freaked the fucked out, in a good way. He couldn’t believe it! You were pregnant! With his kid! That’s bonkers! He picks you up and spins you around

Charlie isn’t as on hands with the baby shit but still eager to help with planning, just tell him to do shit and he will. He also tries to make it to every doctor appointment just to be with you

When they found the first signs of a heart beat he started to tear up, it was so real for him. He never felt more happy than that moment just to be with you and his child

Loves putting his hand on your stomach, kinda a like a way to say “that’s MY baby, and MY partner.” It’s a subconscious thing to him tbh, just does it out of instinct

He likes to talk to your belly, especially during the later stages of pregnancy. He pretends he’s talking to the baby to make you laugh.

He keeps joking that you two should set off a missile for your gender reveal. Maybe go higher than California and destroy the moon. For funsies :33c

He never realized how excited he’d be to be a father and is really happy to be there for you, when ever you need him

[gojosatorailme]

How Lookism characters would eat you out

- Daniel, vasco, zack, gun, goo, Dg

Daniel Park

He’s a virgin. Cant expect much homie

I’d expect him to be a quick learner so he’d look at you throughout it, very experimental with it

Soft kitten licks soft kitten licks soft kitten licks.

Oh? You like it here instead? Okay! He’ll go crazy 💯

Id see him as quite shy and nervous as he wouldn’t know what he’s doing though he’d get more comfortable and confident with reassuring words!

As he gets more used to it you’ll be in tears

Soft and sensual licks, his face buried inside you flicking his tongue the way he knows drives you crazy

UI Daniel on the other hand… a menace. Absolute menace.

Forget walking bby you’ll forget how to think all together

Goodluck soldier

Vasco

I LOVE VASCO

WHYRE HIS BONKERS SO FUCKING HUGE????

He’s so cute I feel like he’d be so dumb and lick the left flap

Like I KNOW he’d do smt wrong by accident bc the poor guys just so confused

Somehow has a charm to him like somehow

Maybe it’s bc his milkers are so large you get delusional or maybe it’s bc his abs are all sweaty and he looks hot but theres SOME CHARM THERE

Vascos so cute

Would put your release before his like it’s a priority he’d put the burn knuckles on the line for it

Wants to make you feel good so teach him the way and he’d do wonders

Zack Lee

Stop joking honey hes a taken man

Keep scrolling home wrecker 🤬🤬

joking he’s also in the virgin gang ^^

Whole worrywart

He’d ask if he’s doing this right, if you feel good, or literally anything

I see him as a body worshipper or like he’d be into praise

Pls tell him he’s doing a good job

Very sweet I love zack

Still a taken man tho keep scrolling boo 😒

Gun

Would he even eat you out or would he get straight to pounding your brains out let’s think for a second

Have a strong feeling he’d be so aggressive

Strong and power licks. Like not even kidding

Have you seen his body maybe he does tongue workouts too u never know??

You want him to go slower? He’ll go faster. You want him to go faster? He’ll go slower. You want him eat you out at all? He’ll dip.

He’s such a menace for what

yk how he takes glasses off during fights? He does it while eating u out and I find it so oddly hilarious

Imagine he outs the glasses on and somehow gets turned on by it GOODBYE

Slaps ur genital area?? He’s mean. He’s just mean.

This is supposed to be like nsfw but it’s a parody atp I feel like gun was such a leash kid it’s so funny HE PROBS BIT A TEACHER IM FALLING IT IDK

He’ll go feral on u 💯 dick in or tongue in idc he’s a beast

He’d degrade u Roo like calling u a little slut for being turned on by how mean he’s being with u

Goo

HES JUST LIKE GUN BUT MORE GOOFY??

WOULD HE EVEN EAT U OUT FOR FREE?

Better get the bag before u think abt getting his tongue

u silly thing

He’d laugh idk and the vibrations would make your eyes roll back and ur all shivering

Would lick the left flap. But on purpose.

Teases u on purpose hes just so mean

he would listen to u either like no going fast hed go slow no going slow her go fast HES JUST LIKE GUN MF

Dg/James Lee

……….

Theres a lot to say but a lot not to say.

Eye contact. Mega eye contact.

Him as James Lee? A menace. I mean it’s already Canon that he’s a menace so why do u think he won’t be one in the bedroom?

ur so silly!

He’s James Lee the living legend of the first gen that’s know to be the best at literally every fucking thing HE WON POETRY LIKE MAD RESPECT IM SO BAD AT POETRY

If he’s good at everything he’s probably a god in the bedroom

ITS ALSO CANON HE HAS A BIG DICK

Maybe I’m biased and I love James but. Yeah.

You’ll be screaming, crying, fucked out, and all but keep going u got this!

him as DG however…

The same. Literally the same.

Both would be such a tease.

Also part of the mean group those little fuckers

He’s so unexpected to like could he giving u small kitten licks one second and the next his tongue is faster than flash like in being so fr

To conclude, he’s a god in the bedroom and I’d like to experience it first han-

The sex legend

[raz-writes-the-thing]

The Opposite Effect (Doctor Who One-Shot)

Tenth Doctor x Eleventh Doctor x GN!Reader 18+ ONLY / requests are open

Summary: Was it a mistake riling the two of them up? Possibly. Will you do it again? Most definitely.

CW: light bondage, gags, selfcest???????? idk man

A/N: everyone blame watching the special for the first time for this fic (and also Denali but this request didn't come from her- she has not been perceived)

DW: @nyxiethesimp @quickslvxrr @midnight--raine @blueberry-sunshines @stevekempscocktails @go-bonkers-go-foolish @peytonpenguin37 (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

___ ___ ___ ___ ___

“Aren’t you clever?” Ten grinned, circling around you, sonic clasped behind his back. “Got us all to yourself, didn’t you, eh?” 

You whined around the soft gag in your mouth, your hands tied to the back of the dining chair. Where they’d found a dining chair was beyond you, but then again it was the TARDIS, and who knew how vast her storage was. 

“Naughty, naughty,” Eleven added, shaking his head in mock disappointment. “It’s almost as though you want this to happen. Riling us up. You know we have important work to do, Petal.” 

Your further noises of discontent were muffled by the gag. Ten grinned and leaned forward to press a soft kiss to your forehead. 

“Now,” he said, grin growing like an infection over his face. “You’re going to sit there and watch us. Unable to touch- us or yourself. And maybe- maybe- if we feel like it, we will let you finish when we’re done, yes?” 

You don’t really respond, hands twisting in their binds. 

“Now, now, be good. Say yes, Petal,” Eleven tutted, leaning in to kiss your forehead softly, lingering for a moment to enjoy the touch of your skin. You grunted, giving them both a glare, though the three of you knew it lacked heat. “I think that’s as good as it’s going to get, don’t you?”

Eleven turned to Ten and smiled, though it was mocking in its nature. Ten agreed and sidled closer to Eleven, who pretty much immediately pushed him back against the console and forced his breath away with deep, open-mouthed kisses. 

Ten whimpered, hands sliding under Eleven’s coat and pulling at his sides. He was trying to get Eleven as close as he could, and you could understand the desire. When you had them touching you, fucking you- all you wanted was for them to be as close as possible so you couldn’t tell where one of you began and another ended. 

It was then you noticed Eleven’s hand down Ten’s trousers, and you rocked briefly on your chair to try and relieve some of the pressure. The sound of Ten’s whines grew in pitch and when you looked up from your thighs, Eleven was peering at you with an arched brow. 

“Did I say you could get any stimulation, Petal? No, I didn’t think so. Now be good. Can’t get any decent help around here, these days.” 

You grumbled but stopped rocking against the chair. Eleven turned back to the task at hand, quite literally, actually. 

Ten had taken the chance to unbutton his pants and free his cock for easier access for Eleven, who booped him on the nose and commented on how desperate he was. If Ten wasn’t desperate to cum after being teased all day by yourself (and probably Eleven, too), he would have recoiled from being booped. 

“P-lease,” Ten panted, still breathless from his little makeout session. Eleven wrapped his hand around Ten’s cock and thumbed at the tip. 

“There, now, calm down,” Eleven tutted, kissing Ten’s cheek. “It’s all right now, I’ve got you. Just feel good, yes? Good boy.” 

Ten’s head dropped back, and you would have given anything to be over there sucking deep purple bruises into the skin. But the Gods (or at least your two) were not favouring you at present. 

Ten groaned, hips jerking as Eleven started pumping at him in earnest. 

This was torture, watching the two of them like this and being unable to do anything but watch. The only choice you had was to not watch, and that wasn’t an option either. Not with the sounds, not with the view. 

It was all you could do when Eleven finally let Ten cum not to rub your wrists raw in an effort to get out. Your skin ached to be touched, and finally, finally when he came, you got to cum, too. 

They didn’t let you out of your bonds, no. Eleven fingered you open and had you cum over him twice before he even let Ten have a turn.

 

It was safe to say you were thoroughly fucked out by the time they were done. 

Though, if this was supposed to be some sort of warning to stop you from doing it again, you were quite certain it had the opposite effect.

[zhoras-bitch]

The Billionaire's Baby fascinates me. They wrote the whole Daphne and Estelle situation, which any sane person should be able to recognize for what it is: an extremely emotionally abusive relationship, in which Estelle controls literally every aspect of her daughter's life, including her job, her marriage, her relationships, her social media, her diet. Daphne wants to be a photographer, but she works as a model, because her mother wants her to. She stays in an unloving marriage, because her mother wants her to. She gets a baby she's not ready for, because her mother wants her to. For all we know, this has been going on since Daphne was a baby. So they wrote all of that down, right? And then they just. Barely acknowledged it. Best we got was MC thinking/saying Estelle is annoying and kind of a bitch. Neither the characters nor the narrative treat the situation with nearly the level of gravity it actually warrants. It's like there's a huge three headed goat demon in the living room, and all the tenants ever do about it is vaguely acknowledge its existence once in a while before going on about their day as if nothing has happened. Fucking bonkers.

[mixelation]

notes for the absolutely bonkers time line of toxicity (that's reborn au au). note that nothing is actually set in stone because it's derivative of reborn au, which is also not set in stone

i realized i suggested tori deciding to get with obito after the cave incident, but also that in reborn au she's actually already dating itachi when that happens. so consider

tori has been dating itachi for a few months (more if you count when she was dating him unknowingly) (her life is... dumb?)

she gets trapped in a cave by Some Guy and minato bans her from seeking vengeance

in reborn au she gets itachi to go freak out That Guy and is satisfied, but in THIS au everyone is more toxic. she has "destroys village out of affection" on the table as normal human behavior. she wants blood. she deserves blood

tori: can you BELIEVE itachi won't kill a singular guy for me obito: lmao tori is it really that big a deal? just kill him yourself tori: but it was :( tori: a cave :( tori: where i doubted anyone at all would ever help me again :( obito: obito: obito: okay FINE i'll kill him

tori breaks up with itachi specifically to seduce obito

it's an amicable break up. she doesn't tell itachi it's so she can run off with obito, but she's like "look i don't have any problem with helping you shirk your clan duties, but i still want to have my own dating life. lmk if you need something else but i won't be your fake gf" which is an entirely reasonable and mature argument for someone who is about to go after an unstable ex-missing-nin

obito is extremely confused when tori starts coming on to him (she is. not good or subtle at it) but ALSO he's kind of into it. he has a lot of weird feelings about tori but she's the one person who knows all his darkest secrets and he likes having her undivided attention. is she actually into him or is she trying to use him to murder more people? he doesn't care!

anyway i have been trying to figure out how no one intervenes in this or causes, like, some sort of permanent interpersonal fallout. and i remembered @waffliesinyoface and i joking around about toxicity just having its main cast destroy even MORE villages, and what if kushina wrecked suna's shit over gaara. so further consider

kushina goes to suna for some reason. idk maybe they host the chunin exams and they're like "send a representative..... not the hokage...... pls thnx." and she realizes how they're treating gaara and she loses her mind

kushina: SURPRISE I RUINED OUR ALLIANCE WITH AN UNTOLD AMOUNT OF MURDER!!!! kushina: also i kidnapped the kazekage's son. he's ours now kushina: he is deeply emotionally unstable and completely op and has murdered so many suna-nin kushina: but i can fix him. with my love <3 minato: o-oh

i don't think i'll have kushina PERMANENTLY adopt gaara (he has older siblings he can go back to!) but he's definitely in konoha for a hot second. so minato's life is currently

bonus child who is both crazy powerful and also desires to kill

(kushina: (shoving shukaku back in with her bare hands) HE'S FINE)

like the number of people who can handle gaara is. very low. he keeps sending gaara and naruto over to the uchiha compound for "babysitting" (Naruto keeps whining he's too OLD) but it's literally a bunch of A-ranks bc someone's sharingan is on them the whole time. the ushiha massacre 1000% doesn't happen in this time line because people are like "the uchiha are the only ones preventing us from being sand-coffined"

tori just fucking broke the hiraishin, so now he has to worry about the possibility of ANYONE ELSE doing that and killing/ruining everyone/everything he's ever cared about

obito?? decides to date her????

anyway the apparent situation of "obito, a 25 year old, has decided to date a teenager, who he's know since he was in his twenties and she was 12" is like. look, it's bad. but also minato is so tired. everyone else is so tired. obito what if you just...... didn't? please?

tori: but i'm the ultra manipulative seductress villain???

also an anon sent this

Itadei fake dating arc.... No one would even really notice/care since obitori is going on at the same time would they

Deidara doesn't give a shit about the murderous suna child. He killed him before and he'll do it again, okay. However WHY IS OBITO IN HIS APARTMENT ALL THE TIME NOW???

deidara: get her back. GET HER BACK itachi: ?? she had a very sound argument for our break up deidara: YOU'RE JUST COVERING FOR BEING A BAD BOYFRIEND

deidara is convinced tori would be SO easy to re-seduce. she likes good food and getting people to commit crimes for, okay. deidara would have just murdered that guy smh

deidara is going to show itachi how it's done

itachi is pretty sure being gay won't stop his parents from trying to get him to marry someone with a working womb, but maybe it will slow them down? certainly deidara has a good shot at scaring away any perspective dates

itachi and deidara start "dating" and no one gives it a second thought because it's the least insane thing happening right now

[ultimateloserboy]

every once in a while i think about that one interview where the creators of dhmis said that yellow guy was the only character capable of actually exploring the world. it makes me think a lot. especially about the big boys.

sometimes i think that maybe red guy and duck got stuck in the big boys rooms because of how bitter they are. in the creators own words, yellow guy is the only one in the group that is willing to actually look into things without being overly cynical about everything. red guy and duck slowly give in to the world, they slowly lose faith in being good people and see no reason to be good at all. they lose their hope for anything better. they eventually end up with a “this is as good as it gets” attitude. this is why i think there isnt a big version of yellow guy. because yellow guy NEVER thinks like that. with or without his batteries yellow guy doesnt think like the other two. they think too negatively to even consider a positive outcome, while yellow guy, as bonkers as he usually is, has a more reasonable look at things because he isnt miserably bitter

i know that the big boys recognize yellow guy when he walks in, i think the bigger boys even asked him where he had been or something like that. “we’ve been waiting for you” or something. i dont think this implies that yellow guy has a big counterpart, i think this is a callback to what yellow guy said earlier in the episode. he had a whole conversation about how the other two “arent in charge of him” despite what they may think. red guy and duck think that yellow guy will go along with anything they do. if they get bigger they expect yellow guy to as well. it might be because they view him as stupid, or it could be because they’re always stuck together so they assume he’ll be apart of everything they do, but either way they expect him to give up on the world like they do. but he doesnt. no matter what happens, yellow guy has the childhood wonder and curiosity that red guy and duck are too grouchy and old to have. thats why he finds the book, thats why he knows what he does and asks what he asks, not because of the batteries, but because hes kind. red guy and duck destroy themselves and each other. they think theyre sooo fucking smart but theyre literally doing nothing. just sitting around in rooms. but yellow guy has hope despite everything. i dont have faith that theres anything better in the dhmis world. honestly, im pretty sure in the same article i was mentioning earlier (although it could be a different one) its mentioned that the audience want yellow guy to be happy but he “NEVER will be”. and the transport episode really drives home (haha get it) the idea that theres really nothing better outside of the house. so even me as an audience member has lost faith, just like red guy and duck, but yellow guy hasnt and thats so sad to me. theres a part of me that wishes so bad that he’s right, that there really is something better, but as the creators said, there never will be

unless theyre fucking with us of course, which wouldnt be surprising

idk this shits confusing its all metaphorical and sad and all that gay shit

[bu-blegh-ost]

EP. 114 spoilers

Okay, guys, I have an insane theory. An absolutely bonkers unhinged one and I'm absolutely sure it's getting debunked by the info we'll get from ep. 115 fucking immediately, but let me have this, entertain the madness I'm about to spew from my lips.

"Praise the Solar Mother" means that Faye Ferin is not only conscious and aware of the prophecy, she BELIEVES it. The question is, which version of it, right? Well, she was warned abt Black Sea beforehand and this allowed her to get the upper hand in expanding Navy's influence, but not only that, she says "the day it spreads is coming and we'll be ready" And which prophecy speaks of it? "the seal remains locked by a key of divinity, its release, in time, an inevitability"

The real one.

She fucking knows that the Black Sea is about to spread soon and wants to either use it in some way or be the one to control the world after the calamity. And here comes my absolutely deranged idea.

"The Machine is stable. My son is stable"

What if the machine is an artificial Leviathan and the son is Jayson Ferin. Picture this madness. See into my crazy gay-ass mind.

What if Faye Ferin wants to control the world by making Jayson Ferin into a new Chosen one. She is constructing an artificial Leviathan, but why? To somehow connect Jayson to it and make him "a Sea god's last egg". We SAW the Leviathan bones, the Navy is strong enough to kill real Leviathans, they don't need them as weapons, they have things stronger than them! So what if they need one to literally trick fate? Jayson is literally raised like Gillion. Only under his mother's influence, controlled by her agenda, her vision of justice. She makes him consider Drey and Jay as traitors, feeds his hatered, feeds him her own perception of reality to use him for her gains. His almost ethereal sun-angel form. Where does his power come from? Was he modified? I fully believe he is not replaced by Black ops. She doesn't need to do that. She had full control over his way of thinking ever since he was born simply bc she is his mother. She enjoys that control. She is confident that Jayson won't break from her grasp.

And now see this. Jayson just so happens to come for a visit to the Undersea, not so long ago. Could the Elders be replaced as Black ops at this point? They very much could. Why would the real Elders banish Gillion if they believed he was the Chosen One? Why not imprison him, keep him in their own control? Well, cause they were Navy clones, possibly. And Navy wanted Gill out of the picture.

The important meeting in the Undersea arranged by Elders (impostors?) a while back. Suspiciously high amount of Triton torture victims in the stronghold. "You abandoned us". What if they are taking over Undersea from the inside? What if fake Elders spread propaganda, saying that Gill was not in fact banished but that he abandoned his people willingly? So maybe they are willing to appoint a new Chosen, Jayson?

Why would Edyn want to help them with all that? "I just want you to be able to come back home again"

If Jayson is a new Chosen, then Gillion doesn't have to be. If Gillion becomes a regular person Edyn can take him home, they can live a normal life and if the world has to burn because of it, so be it. Gillion will be free. That's all Edyn cares abt.

Let me know if I fully lost my mind please.

[sugarsnappeases]

kara i wanna know allllll about your reg. tell me EVERYTHING <3

so obvs canonically pretty much the only thing we know about reg is his betrayal of voldemort and the cause etc etc so i like to centre that in most of my thoughts about him……

he joins the death eaters bc he’s a loser w a freakish voldemort obsession who has like three friends and bc he’s lonely and he hates sirius and he wants to spite him by joining the group to which he’s so opposed. he wants to prove sirius wrong and prove himself right and i believe wholeheartedly that, even if he was influenced somewhat by the way he was raised and by the circles he runs in, he joined the death eaters completely of his own volition!!! i’m passionate about this!!! i think it destroys the nuance of his character to say that he was forced to join or that he joined w the intention to betray them all along or whatever . to me, he was fucking gagging to be a death eater and he’s so smug when he’s allowed in. i picture him ranting to barty and evan about ‘the great honour that has been bestowed upon him’ whilst lovingly stroking his dark mark

anyway, then he gets scared. he’s just a boy!!! and he realises he’s in too deep when it’s far too late… to me he just can’t stand the violence of the death eaters. like he’s a blood purist and further than that thinks he personally is superior to pretty much everyone else, on account of his black blood, but he hates that he has to get his hands dirty in order to see his idealised vision of the world (sans mudbloods and blood-traitors) realised…. he’s soft and weak and squeamish and lonely and always so so miserable at all times as a rule. he also tries to hide how scared he is by being a massive bitch. classic.

then he realises that tom has a horcrux (and imo he would figure this out fairly easily after the kreacher thing, bc he’s smart but also bc tom read about them in a book in the HOGWARTS LIBRARY!! so it’s not much of a stretch to say that the same book and probs further, more detailed books would be in the library at grimmauld, likewise in most of the darker pureblood family libraries…. this is another thing i’m passionate about. horcruxes aren’t this big secret. nobody makes them bc nobody’s a fucking idiot like tom is. they’re also warned off properly by their rents. tom doesn’t have this…. ANYWAY) he realises tom has a horcrux and that the guy he’s idolised and basically sold his soul to is fucking bonkers (shameless self promo - i write a bit about this realisation in the regulus letter in my fic ‘where can i put it down?’…. makes me crazy) and he’s scared and alone and he wants out and he does the one brave thing of his life in dying…..

and he doesn’t think it’s a brave thing. he tells himself that sirius was a coward for running away and betraying them and specifically him. he tells himself he’s being brave, braver and better than sirius, when he’s like sticking it out, joining the death eaters, following the role prescribed to him, so when he decides he’s gonna go to the cave it’s like giving up, it’s being a coward, its admitting to himself that he’s never been better than sirius no matter how much he want or tries to be, it’s betraying the cause and everything he’s stood for but he HAS to do it. for sirius and for kreacher and for himself and for the chance that maybe he’s not past saving. he spends his whole life trying to be good but in the sense of behaving and then his death, his first (and last) real rebellion, is the only time that he actively attempts to be good in terms of a moral act even if it has nothing to do w a renouncement of blood purity. and i don’t think he fully realises that when he does it bc it’s all so tangled up in other things. and i’m not saying that he’s like morally reprehensible the rest of the time (he’s just a boyyyy) but the majority of his active choices have been kinda bad ones up to this point even if he’s been like . passively good . and also literally just a child. an angsty teen if you will

his life is marked by inaction and bad decisions and his final act is kinda the antithesis of this and it’s tragic bc he’s not ever going to survive it. and sirius is never gonna know. it makes me miserable. does any of this even make sense lmaooo basically he’s a loser and he misses his brother and he’s so lonely and he loves sirius so much even as he hates him and he’s quiet and he wants so desperately to be a good death eater bc this is everything he’s ever wanted but he just can’t in the end!!! he’s just a boy!!! a boy who would nurse birds with broken wings back to health and cry when they flew away, a boy who would hold his brother’s hand and hang on every word he says and exist almost entirely in sirius’ shadow until said shadow is suddenly gone and he’s left reeling, a boy who’s so so soft and gentle but who hides it all behind layers of barbs and cold remarks, a boy who is desperately desperately sad and scared and GOD I LOVE HIM……

[slapjacq]

I am ill. Not okay. I’ve cried and thrown a tissue box at the wall. Then proceeded to scream at said wall for twenty minutes. Yes I am melodramatic, no I don’t care. I am still in therapy for a reason. Nevertheless, this episode was bonkers, off the wall batshit insane. Like genuinely so good that it almost adds to the tragedy of it all.

Here are my immediate and unfiltered thoughts from my post episode freak out that I have to put somewhere because if I don’t, I will, in fact, explode.

Warning: spoilers up the wazoo, a lot of profanity

First and foremost: Daniel, old Maniel, I can count on you to always keep it a buck, and for that I thank you.

Armand you piece of fucking shit I swear on everything that is holy, you are no longer babygirl, you bitch ass hoe, go stick that fucking doe eyed face up someone else ass you stupid fucking piece of shit. “i cOULD nOt pReVEnt iT” FUCK YOU MEAN YOU COULDNT PREVENT IT YOURE 500 YEARS OLD, YOU SOLD THEM OUT TO BEGIN WITH. YOU STOP TIME, CAN CONTROL BODIES, PLANT IDEAS INTO PEOPLE HEADS, READ PEOPLES MINDS AND THE BITTY BABY VAMPIRE ARMAND COULDNT DO ANYTHIGN ABOUT IT? SUCK MY DICK AND KISS ME MERRY GO TRH THAG SHIT ELSEWHERE (shout out Assad for really giving his all with the whole puppy dog eyes this entire episode 10/10 would fall for them if not the circumstances). I can’t believe I actually was defending this dude a few episodes ago, I literally can’t defend anything else from here moving forward.

Claudia and Madeline deserve to watch these assholes burn and the fact they died such painful deaths should warrant the gods to set the sky alight with constellations of their love. They were allowed NOTHING but a small taste of happiness before it was shredded away from them. No one is EVER gonna villainize them, not to me, not ever. Roxanne absolutely was incredible, and Delainey, in the coming future, better up there as an A-list actor because she has been that astoundingly good. (That goes for everyone here honestly, but Delainey and Roxanne really deserve their flowers here).

Santiago has a special place in hell. I simply cannot wait to watch him die. Decapitation is too kind for him, put him through pain and fury before sending him to hell. Ben Daniels you son of a bitch you played the villain so well. I damn near jumped through the screen when he began to read Claudia’s diaries with a shitty NOLA accent, I have never been so livid in my life.

The rest of Theatre: “All of you motherfuckers, fuck you, die slow.” -Tupac Shakur

Louis GET UP LEAVE YOUR WIFE DUDE YOU KNOW ITS BULLSHIT and honestly I’m not even going to rag on him this episode because the poor man has gone through too much. Jacob was absolutely brilliant in all of this, and honestly I literally will never stop talking about the performances in this show. Regardless, the upcoming rage is justified and I when get to watch him massacre these assholes, I will cackle with the same glee a schoolboy has after he disintegrates ants with a magnifying glass.

And finally Lestat. He rose on the third day and served cunt and made me ball like the mommy issues toting bitch I am. Sam, my man, you knocked it out of the fucking ballpark. Magnificent. Lestat, fucking bastard. You messy bitch. When you get out of whatever the Theatre is doing to you big man, I better see you read Armand to filth. I better see the same from the other. They both deserve to be dragged to hell and back.

Also Daniel Hart is a genius, just really fills your soul with dread this entire episode, I mean the score was filthy, vivid, and hauntingly gorgeous. The violins at the beginning were nasty work and had me fully hypnotized for the entire 50 minutes.

SFX is killing it, everytime, making it all believable and absolutely the worst someone could imagine it to be. I full body contorted at the sight of the sliced ankles.

Shoutout costume department also did its thing. Santiago’s costume was top tier camp. And Lestat’s suit was absolutely everything. Gender envy 11/10.

I could sit here all day and go on about how all the cast and crew did a fucking fantastic job. Like you can really tell they put their heart and soul into this episode.

I mean dear god I’m going to be in shambles for the next two years this episode was insane.