#its like. its whatever. not every relationship has to be healthy or good for both/either participant

[arlathen]

i generally let people ship what they want but i do have to say that im a solas/rook hater.

some of you think any amount of tension means it's sexual tension. sometimes you just kind of hate someone and fucking them doesn't resolve that.

[cheesus-doodles]

How does Ran view Rindo’s best friend reader? And what’s his opinion on their relationship? I really like your work on Rindo and reader!

thank you for your kind words anon!

Masterlist | Rindo Tags

ㅤ‎

Ran thinks that the two of you together are adorable.

Yes sure, he knows damn well that both the both of them are delinquents who ruthlessly rule the back alleys of Roppongi with an iron fist, and that they are indeed supposed to be feared. But how was he supposed to think any other way when he sees Rindo with you?

Even though you clearly are the more easygoing and naive of your little pair with a tendency to go along with whatever it was that Rindo wanted, in Ran's eyes, its still his younger brother who comes off as the lost puppy trailing you looking for affection and attention, happy to let you lead him around by the nose. Yes, both of the Haitanis have both been in and out of juvie for various reasons, and Ran is perfectly aware of how Rindo is actually like during fights, having no qualm with breaking bones and putting faces through cement. Yet Ran still finds it hard to find any good reason to fear Rindo whenever you are arm-in-arm with him, chattering away with a complete lack of awareness to your surroundings. Ran, in fact, finds it rather amusing to occasionally poke his younger brother by linking arms with you just to get a reaction out of him and see him growl and threaten.

There was no way that Ran could possibly hate you, not with what you had done for Rindo. As the older of the two (not by much but still), Ran takes it upon himself to learn about and keep an eye out for Rindo, even if the younger Haitani dislikes his older brother's intrusions into his life.

And from what Ran can tell, Rindo has only changed for the better - as much as a delinquent can, at least. He knew that the day you picked Rindo over him was the day that something within Rindo had sparked (or snapped), and the younger Haitani had never let go of you since then, which you didn't seem to mind. Good thing either way, since with you came a sense of responsibility for Rindo that he never had, and Ran do so appreciate Rindo caring about something outside of picking fights for a change. Maybe you could get him to care about bills as well soon.

You did bring a breath of fresh air into both their lives, which the older of the brothers appreciates. With you came normal afternoons, calm evenings, and even peaceful nights; being a regular civilian with no ties to the gang life, you usually were the one to drag the two Haitani brothers around to your favourite cafes or the newest shops. Normal activities. Of course, the the only caveat to peace and normality being that you were within arm's length of Rindo, but that was easy enough to achieve.

‎

Ran does however wish from time to time that you were the slightest bit more self aware and less air-headed. The amount of stress you cause his younger brother on a day-to-day basis simply can't be healthy, but more importantly, it affects Ran as well. Don't get him wrong, this older delinquent was content to watch his younger brother run around like a headless chicken from time to time, but when it spills over into his life and causes Ran to lose his precious sleep is where he draws the line. Maybe with a few more brain cells, you would be able to learn which action would result in a explosive reaction from your best friend, but it has already been years and Ran isn't hopeful.

Rindo always anxiously checking in on you whenever he could as if you would vanish off the face of the earth the moment he wasn't looking (being lured into a van and kidnapped with candy was what Rindo swears would be enough to work on you, and Ran didn't doubt as much). And when he couldn't, Ran would have the chance to be amused by his younger brother compulsively opening and closing his phone every second just to make sure he wasn't missing any messages that you were sending him, before giving in after five minutes and simply calling you. This would quickly turn into a full blown cursing and swearing session when you fail to pick up within half a minute, followed by a panicked Rindo dropping everything to take off and hunt you down.

This usually happens during school time, when the younger of the Haitanis reluctantly let you attend class, only to storm your classroom later on, though meltdowns also tend to happen at night when you aren't sleeping over at their place. And the latter is when Ran gets awoken by all the scrambling, sometimes getting dragged up as well to look for you when Rindo happens to barge into your room on the rare occasion you wandered out for a midnight snack.

Despite Ran knowing that whatever Rindo has going on with you isn't quite normal, with Rindo being a tad too obsessed with knowing where you were and what you were doing at all times, the older delinquent doesn't care. As long as his younger brother was happy, Ran was content with playing along. And alas, until Ran can knock some common sense into that empty head of yours, he'll settle for tying you to a chair and hauling your ass back to Rindo.

Ah the woes of being an older brother.

[watatsumiis]

Reader With Anxiety (Part 1)

Reader is having anxiety. Characters comfort them in various in-character ways.

CW for general talk of anxiety and some of its symptoms. This is based on personal experience and can differ for others. Different techniques work for different people. This is a comfort fic, not an informational piece. A few mentions of certain characters having struggles of their own with anxiety.

Gender neutral reader, platonic relationships/fluff. 

Characters: Al Haitham, Ayato, Childe, Diluc, Itto, Zhongli

Al Haitham’s approach borders on clinical. Though he’s experienced anxiety in the past (both his own and his roommate’s), he struggles to empathise with your struggles and doesn’t really know how to approach you. He takes a little while to pick up on your tenseness, then even longer to act on it - he may come off as brash or dismissive at first when you try to explain what’s ailing you, but in reality he’s working through it in his brain, approaching it from every possible angle as he works to try and solve the intricate equation in the most efficient way. He tends to quash down his own worries instead of facing them, but he doesn’t want that for you - he also figures that pulling all-nighters and drinking wine like his roommate might not be very healthy, either, so he does his own research and pulls up a list of grounding techniques for you to try, and will calmly walk you through each one and take careful note of which ones make the most significant differences for you. He’s very calm and level headed throughout the whole ordeal, even if you are not, so his unshakeable attitude can do wonders to help soothe you as well. Once all is said and done, he may (almost meekly) approach you and ask how he did, how he can do better in future, what worked and what didn’t. It’s almost like he’s collecting results from an experiment. 

Ayato will basically try to find and eliminate whatever he thinks is the source of your worry. He’s a very straightforward man in that respect - he sees a problem, that problem requires a solution. Half of his job is making solutions, he figures it’s not exactly hard. He always thought he was quite good at talking Ayaka down when she was younger and fretted even more than she does now. So, in some cases, you may find that certain problems of yours seem to just… quietly fade into the background. Mora woes? He’ll just throw piles of money at the issue until it’s gone. You hate your job? Huh, it seems that one of your superiors has been fired and you’re first in line for a promotion. Funny, that. If, for whatever reasons, that doesn’t (or can’t) work, he’ll sit you down and try to talk you through it. He encourages you to talk about your anxieties, what you think is causing them, what has helped in the past, all those sorts of things. He turns almost uncharacteristically quiet and genuine during these conversations, sitting across from you and listening carefully as you talk. He still tries to do things to fix these problems unless you directly ask him not to though.

Childe gets ‘zoomies’ when he’s anxious, he gets jittery and jumpy and all over the place, so he expects you to be the exact same. He may take some time, but eventually he will notice that you’re acting fidgety or quiet, and his solution is to pretty much pull you into a large, open area and walk you through various fighting techniques or exercises. It can be really overwhelming, and he will back off if it seems like you aren’t coping with it, but sometimes working out that anxious energy is the perfect way to help. He acts so bright and cheery that it helps distract you. Sometimes, if he’s feeling particularly soft, he might allow you to get a few extra hits in or even knock him over just to see the way you brighten up and begin to regain your confidence. Failing that, he’ll cook you a really nice hearty meal and tell you about how his mother taught him that it’s “basically impossible to be anxious while eating.”

Diluc will essentially evacuate you from the situation - his decorum goes out the window when he notices you’re acting distressed. The way he sweeps you out of the room as he drapes his heavy jacket over your shoulders is almost like he’s shielding you from attackers. He’s had his fair share of anxiety attacks in the past and just does for you what he wishes someone would’ve done for him in his adolescence. He’ll find somewhere quiet for you to sit, make you a warm drink and stay nearby as you cool off. He won’t address it directly or ask you any questions, which can be a blessing or a curse depending on your preferences, but he’s still open to talking about it if it seems like that’s what you need. If you’re up for it, he may also assign you some meaningless busywork around the winery, something to keep your hands and mind busy so you don’t have time to dwell on whatever it is that’s ailing you. It’s always something extremely low pressure, such as watering houseplants or sorting papers. 

Itto is as lighthearted about this as he is with many things. It takes him quite a long time to notice that you’re feeling off - it’s not that he ignores the people around him, sometimes he’s just a bit of an airhead who struggles to perceive anything out of the scope of his own boisterous, joyous aura. Even once he’s noticed and started to address it, you suspect that it may have been Shinobu’s prompting that caused him to finally pick up on it. He acts sort of clumsy around you at first, uncharacteristically worried that you might be upset at him for whatever reason, or that he’s just making things worse, but that clears up pretty quickly as he convinces himself that you absolutely need him to swoop in and save you as soon as possible. He won’t directly confront you, but instead he turns the silly metre up to full blast, pulling all the goofs and gaffs that he knows have cheered you up in the past. He’s acting like a complete and utter fool, just in an attempt to try and distract you from whatever thoughts have you all wrapped up inside your own head. 

Zhongli realises practically the same moment you start acting off. He can be block-headed sometimes, but distress is something he’s taught himself to notice over the years. He’ll calmly pull you aside, being careful not to raise any suspicion or draw any attention, and will take both your shaking hands in his to steady them and ask you what’s wrong, what he can do to help. If you’re not sure, he’ll run you through various grounding techniques. His favourites are getting you to describe various things around you, or passing you some kind of trinket to look over to distract you while he tells you about it (oftentimes it's a piece of his jewellery or an interesting rock). Another one is that he gets you to talk about five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can touch/feel, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste. He’s got a whole arsenal of soothing techniques up his sleeve and is great at keeping track of which ones work best for you. Sometimes, just hearing his calm, deep voice droning on about whatever subject he feels like sharing is more than enough to help distract and calm you down. 

Please don't repost, steal, copy or otherwise plagiarise my writing! I do not consent for my works to be translated and posted elsewhere, or used to teach bots!

[noellefan101]

Bakery Love

Genshin impact, modern baker au, reader´s family owns(and works at) a bakery + reader works there, gn!reader

characters: Tighnari, Albedo, Kazuha, Cyno, Nilou, Xiao x gn!reader

Warnings: kissing, baking(duh), romantic relationship (+ planoinic in some but not with the main), kissing, , tell me if i missed anything

Note: I'm sorry if there´s any mistakes, english is not my first language and this is not prof-read yeah enjoy ;) and it feels so weird to write for Nilou when the rest is men, i didn´t think abt that. luv you all, mwah ;)

Tighnari

i feel like he would be there to get a birthday cake for Collei, (im sorry it just sounds too cute) and you were at the front desk in your apron talking to a customer, when he walked in and ordered. you looked at him, asked what he would like and wrote a note down so you could remember - he ordered a "healthy" cake with green frosting on one side and red on the other with Cuilein anbars on the green side and baron bunnies on the red side. and then he also leaves his number woth the order bc he thinks your cute so you start to become friends. anyway, thats how you met onto when you start dating

you would come over to his house after your shift, or when you both have time, and bring him some baked goods for him and Collei/i feel like they would live together in a modern au, like Tighnari would still be her caretaker, just like in the game/. you and Tighnari would definitely bake together, and you would teach him how to bake certain pastries and stuff, and Collei/+Cyno maybe/could join if they wanted to (it would be so cute wtf). i also think he would be like a florist or smt, like he owns a flower shop, so he would bring you flowers or just plants in general. so the bakery would have a lot of plants that he´s given you. and your family (lovingly) hates him because where tf are they gonna put all these fricking flowers and stuff he gets you every week. tho their happy for you and they also got free decor for the bakery so they don´t really complain.

to him you´re like a rose, beautiful, even if sometimes you sting, he adores you just as much

Albedo

he was just there to study at first, maybe get some coffee and a piece of cake, when he saw you behind the counter he kinda.. uhm.. fell in love at first sight, yeah... anyway now/because of your beauty/he is there studying more often or when you´re there to be exact. your sibling or parent called it out but you denied it and didn´t think much of it. and then he finally asked for your number

when you finally start dating, he would still study at your bakery but it´ll be a little more often. and not only on your shifts but on other family members too, mainly bc he wants to get to know them better. he also brings his little sister, Klee, with him more often so she can meet you and your family + see the bakery. he also would make some artificial things for you, like flowers and stuff, you could either put in your room or around the bakery. yk the flower he makes in his idol or whatever its called, so like one of those or just anything you want really. he could also paint there, but he´ll just start painting you and he doesn´t want other people to think he´s stalking you.

to him you´re like a painting, pretty in many ways, and perfect in his eyes

Kazuha

he would visit the bakery once in a while, finding it relaxing to be there and finding great inspiration for his poems and stories. and something he has noticed is the beautiful person that is sometimes behind the corner/you hehe/and starts to slowly become his muse. he couldn´t help it its like keeping a secret from someone, but sharing it with the world at the same time. he finds himself going to the same place over and over again, only wanting to see your face one more time. (wtf happened to me) while he was unknowingly falling in love with this new muse, you were falling for him. (ok i need to fricking stop, omg)

when you two finally started dating, he still kept you as his muse, but this time you were both aware and laughed a little together because of it. anyway he would be there even more to just sit and write about something, then later in the day/or week if you both were busy/he would read them out to you. and at some point you would start giving him notebooks every few months just so he could write his poetry on something other than the tissues from the bakery(omg that would be so cute and hilarious at the same time). in return he would gift you your favorite flowers and try and learn to bake, even tho its not perfect he tries and you love it. sometimes you´ll bake something with him and teach him properly how to do something/or do it the way your family does it/and then after you eat it together.

to him you're a miracle, your his love, his life, and his muse, he doesn´t know what to do without you now

Cyno

he´s a policeman (the hot kind) and there was an incident with your neighbor bc their store got robbed/in my mind it's a jewelry store but let your mind go wherever/so you got a few questions since you were on your shift at the time they came in. but you then after went into the back/your home to get your parents. and then after he started showing up more both because of the situation but also because he generally liked your pastries and cakes. even after the case ended he still came over on a lot of all of his breaks, maybe it was sometimes to see you but you ofc didn´t need to know that ;)

so when you guys started dating, he would ofc still come over but also look out for you, your family, and the bakery. also in his free time/even tho its not often/he would "help" you with baking. aka your teaching him how to bake bc he can´t for the life of him, but he brags to his friends abt it "cough". anyway, he would love to try some new recipes you find online or in your family cookbook, and help as much as he can. if you made him some pastries for him to take with him to work, he would fall even more `head over heels` in love with you, seriously do it. he would definitely stop anybody that tries to steal anything from the bakery, and get them arrested immediately.

to him your love is like a drug, addicting, but even if he knows it he will still love you for eternity

Nilou

yk the cake she eats in game, that would definitely be the reason you two met. like it would be in the bakery´s window or smt and she would order that with a smile, while you where on your shift ofc. and she would get all exited and stuff. + she thinks the way you and your family make it is much better, so she´s basically a reguler bc she orders at your bakery so often. and then she starts to fall in love with one of the bakers there (you), and so she tries to find out when your shift is and stuff. (my brain couldn´t stop sry, that was a lot)

anyways, when you start dating she would definitely want to try and learn the recipe and bake it with you, but ofc she needs practice so she´ll eat your portion at the start, but you can´t complain you´ve literally done this your whole life ofc you´re better. she´d also want to meet your family early on bc you told her about some baking days when you test new recipes and stuff, so she´d be the taste tester and give tips if she could. aand you would give her discounts for some kisses. she would also dance in the bakery, with you and your family´s content ofc, so she could attract customers with her beautiful dancing.

to her you´re like cake, has many flavors, not all perfect but to her you are too perfect to enjoy only once

Xiao

i see him getting dragged there by some friends/yk aether, venti, kazuha, heizou and then scara is getting dragged there too. so basically 6rezze(sry if thats wrong) or 5wirl, but they aren´t famous/and they drag him to your bakery. bc they wanted to try the cakes and stuff. and your the one behind the counter(idk if thats a good thing or not, but ig it was?). and so you had to deal with some boys yelling at each other while one of them was completely silent/xiao/he just ordered and explained what the rest/but not for heizou, kazuha cuz i feel like they would already have ordered/you just got the pastries and cakes they ordered, and they then sat down seeming to calm down.

after you started dating he wouldn´t come to the bakery often, but he´ll definitely come over like once a week/before was like once or twice a month/and he won´t order much but is just there to support you. otherwise, if he comes to the bakery he´ll just go straight to the back to see you/they know who he is ofc, but for first-time workers that might be weird/and he would be a little sad if you were too busy to give him attention. if you give him some non-sweet cake or pastries he´ll love you even more(i swear thats impossible). he´ll also feed you, and let you feed him in return. if you want him to learn how to bake he´ll do it, but only if you teach him ofc. so there you are in your kitchen with xiao, trying to teach him to bake the non-sweet cake he likes.

you´re like the cakes you make, sweet, although he doesn´t normally like sweet things, he loves you more than anything else

Author: the sweet things at the end of each one, omg how tf did i come with those aaaaahhhh i´m freaking out right now. also if you want me to do more of these pls tell me + the characters you want in it.

thank you for reading, luv ya-Masterlist

You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody liking my posts

[desafinado]

Damnn i like s/o wife hcs so much can you do the same to zhongli and diluc👉🏻👈🏻 also hope you have nice day

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 happily ever afters (?)

°｡⋆ zhongli, diluc, kazuha x reader (separately)

°｡⋆ suggestive like literally the word, sickening fluff once again

note: ofc, and thank you, hope your days are well too. added kazuha bc while i’m here, might as well… i'm glad y'all like the first one, and if there’s anyone else you’d like to see, don’t hesitate to leave an ask!! also... depending on whether i got the courage to post it alr, a 50 followers celebration is coming up, (its here!!) so feel free to join in ^^

(alhaitham, ayato) | (zhongli, diluc, kazuha)

zhongli ♡

all his years on teyvat, and you’d think he’d get used to all of the beauty it has to offer… but you still catch him off guard when you boop his nose first thing in the morning.

though he couldn’t have asked for a better way to wake up, it gives him the perfect excuse to shower you with kisses.

i feel like he’d easily slip into the so called “married life” as well as being the perfect husband (or as i like to say, malewife)

he cooks, he cleans, he makes you feel all warm inside…

he even visits during work, or vice-versa. you both have lunch with whatever he had initially packed just for you (you insist for him to join you).

on the less busy days, you both might even go for a walk by liyue harbor, taking in the stunning view of the ocean amidst the work on the docks

another spot you both would frequent is the path to the golden house, which might be a harder trek, but the views of the mountains as well as the history scattered around is very much worth it.

early on in your relationship, he already took note of your affection for certain dishes, so now he knows which ones to cook when you come home feeling celebratory, fatigued, frustrated, or just sad.

he lulls you to sleep (cuddled together ofc) with some old liyue tales and folklore, forehead kisses every now and then.

expect a lot of road trips along liyue or even to other nations. he wants to experience teyvat, now that he isn’t very preoccupied being an archon, and he wants to experience it with you.

even if it's just for a weekend, he makes sure that it’s something you’ll both treasure.

while on these trips, your favorite pastime is just taking candid pictures of him; they either turn out absolutely stunning and jaw dropping…or just plain goofy

“hehehe…” “what are you giggling about, my love?… oh. wonderful picture nonetheless ,my darling, though i apologize you caught me at a bad moment.”

you sighing at him in content, as he recounts his own experiences about the location you’re both visiting.

since, he’s always recounting to you his experiences in the past, you make it a point to introduce to all the newer advances in the world… whether it be technology or gastronomical breakthroughs

“so you’re saying… they put a whole dango in this milk? and people drink it? that doesn’t sound very…” “healthy? yup, but the raiden shogun herself approves of it so…”

though it might not suit his tastes or its emergence into culture, he’s happy trying whatever you have to offer him.

you’ll also tell him the history and cultures from your own homeland! he’s gets very excited about it, because he’s always up for learning something new, especially when it’s something near and dear to you.

he just wants to spend as much time as he can with you; he of all people knows how short human life can be. he’s willing to spend it making sure you’ve lived a good one.

he’s been more silent than usual; you’ve been talking for a good 20 minutes now. he’d usually ask you questions or share his own insights from your sharing, but he’s been totally silent, only giving nods of affirmation. you pause your ramblings for a moment to check on him.

“dear? you haven’t spoken this entire time, i have to admit it is quite strange.”

he exhales softly, shaking his head.

“does it make you uneasy? i apologize, i was just… captivated by you.”

a blush spreads from your cheek to your entire face; he never did fail at making you feel like a middle-schooler with a crush. you hit his chest playfully, trying to play off your flustered state. he just giggles, admiring you under the golden sunset.

“zhongli!”

“it is only the truth, my love. it seems that everyday my love for you only grows stronger.”

diluc ♡

you’ve never seen lovesick, until you see diluc come home everyday to collapse in your arms.

he’ll often rant about rowdy patrons at the tavern or pompous businessman he had to meet that day, you just try to get him to a better place… or at least you try to.

“he annoyed me to hell, darling. he acted like he owned the place…” “but you do, dear. next time, you should just kick him out. don’t they know they’re keeping you from me?”

his embarrassed state is something he only lets you see… and well, cause. it just baffles him that you'd go to such lengths or say such things to demonstrate your love for him.

when you both have a day off, you both spend it around the estate, enjoying each other’s presence.

reading books in the library, baking a batch of cookies, picking grapes or braiding his hair. he absolutely craves these moments of normalcy, and you’re happy spending it with him.

braiding his hair is especially fun, because it gives you the opportunity to run a hand through his soft locks. you also steal a kiss or two on his neck.

if you two have a day or night out on the town, you can be sure that he might hold your hand a bit tighter or rest an arm around your shoulder the entire time.

it’s not that he’s necessarily jealous, but it's a small reminder for him that whatever he can face, he can face it with you.

so if a certain knight comes along, teasing him, he doesn’t feel at all embarrassed, because his love for you is nothing to be ashamed of.

but back to coming home, it's especially satisfying after spending a day with you. it’s a good kind of tired, the tiredness you’d feel from an overload of serotonin.

if he decides to go on some darknight hero business, you’ll be there to see him off and make sure he’s ready for whatever he might come across.

he’s even discovered a snack bar or two in his coat pocket.

bloody, bruised, or unscathed, you’ll be there to welcome him home. he’s told you to go on and sleep without him, but you’ve refused every time.

the first time he found you, he felt the guilt go straight to his head. you assured him you were fine though, and you’d only feel sorry if he wasn’t the last thing you saw before you slept.

if time and fatigue truly forbids it, you’re sure to find him in morning light, his arms around you.

he never wants you to worry over him… more than you already do.

to him, you’re the only thing worth coming home for, the only reason he’d want to come home in one piece. between all the loud crowds causing him a headache or bloody battles he’s fought, he imagines you waiting for him at the place he knows as home.

“oh my god.”

his voice is deep and almost shaky, seeing you reading a book and sitting at the edge of your shared bed. the sun was set to rise in an hour or so, but here you were, waiting for his arrival. he dropped whatever he was holding, not caring for the loud thump it made; he immediately brought his arms around you, the both of you softly falling to the bed.

“d-did you wait this long for me? you didn’t have to… i’m so-”

“diluc.”

you bring a palm to his cheek, guiding his gaze towards you. your eyes did look sleepy, but a lazy yet bright smile ran across your face.

“it doesn’t matter, my dear. i’m just happy you’re home, here, with me. that’s all that ever matters.”

kazuha ♡

you both compromised on a long distance relationship for the majority of your relationship, but when marriage came up, you knew you couldn’t keep it that way.

rather than him having to come visit you every few months, he gradually stayed longer and longer, until he truly did live in your own home… or well, both your home.

that didn’t stop his wandering ways though, in fact, he had a newfound goal to show you everything he had seen.

expect him to be taking up all your vacation days, planning a thorough and perfectly personalized itinerary.

if time allows it, you’ll even travel for a month or so, just wandering around, before coming back home.

when kazuha came back home, you’d always be there and make him feel at him. he was literally coming back from a long-winded journey after all.

he wanted to do the same for you, so he’d push through his fatigue to take care of you once you both return. he’d run you a bath and make some comfort food to help you relax.

sleeping in until tomorrow afternoon, your bodies lazily entangled with one another. if you even try to get up, he’s quick to pull you back down, encouraging you to rest.

“i’m not that tired anymore…” “hmm, well i still am, very much.” “okay, then let-” “i need you here though, else i’ll never get up.”

you know he’s exaggerating and simply being clingy, but maybe you should indulge him, as well as yourself.

when it’s back to business, you can expect him to be taking care of the house. he’s already decorated it in trophies and memories he’s brought back from his own adventures, but he focuses on showcasing the memories you and him have had.

he’ll also be passing time, writing poems about his life with you, or just you. you are his muse, after all.

the moment you come home, you can expect him to be clinging on to you, as if letting you go would mean that he would lose you.

after one particularly long day (you left without giving him kisses :( rip ), he just carried you in his arms to your shared bedroom. he didn’t let you leave until he showed you just how much he missed you (kisses and cuddles or something more suggestive oh my).

or you know, he’ll just tell you with all the poems he’s thought up while you were gone… maybe even through song, if he’s feeling especially heartstruck.

he realizes how you must’ve felt when he went on those months long journeys, so he’s trying to make up for it now.

he realizes how much he’s been missing you too, all those nights he spent alone feeling like something was missing… it was you.

“that was beautiful, ‘zuha.”

your head is snug against his chest, and your voices are pronounced against the night breeze, river splashing and crickets chirping. the tent kazuha pitched gives you the privacy you two very much deserve.

“the poem? the view? or… could you possibly even be talking about me?”

he smirks at his last suggestion, you can only giggle softly. you snuggle deeper against his touch, trying to etch this moment in your head.

“all of it, beloved. everything about you is beautiful. i…”

he only shakes his head, giggling right back at you. he welcomes your closeness, resting his head on your shoulder.

“all i do, all i see, all i am, they are only possible with you. you, my dear, are the most beautiful soul that i am thankful to be graced with.”

requests are open!! please do not reposts on other sites.

[beanghostprincess]

What are you most controversial/unpopular OP opinions??? Sorry if it was answered before

You want me to get canceled so bad-- If I speak-- But idk, I guess I'll say the controversial opinions I can say publicly without a bunch of people coming at me!

Zo$an is a bit... Overrated? And by overrated I mean extremely/annoyingly overrated. I like the ship and its canon dynamic but I think at least 80% of the fandom portrays them in a very mischaracterized way. Not to say that... The ship is literally everywhere and the shippers always look for every little thing to prove they're canon, even if the "proof" has literally nothing to do with them. It's not that I don't enjoy the ship (although I must admit I prefer other dynamics a lot more) I just can't stand shippers that go to extremes. It's funny because I think Zo$an's dynamic is way more interesting and romantic in canon than it will ever be in the fandom. It's a bit sad, ngl. I liked them a lot at first but it got so tiring and now I am pretty exhausted from seeing it everywhere. The people force it to be more than it is when the canon is already pretty fucking great.

Adding to the Zo$san thing. I think that relationship would only work if Luffy is there somehow but it wouldn't last a day without him in the relationship. Unless there's like, a ton of character development most of these people don't make them go through.

One Piece Film Z is my worst enemy. It's such a boring movie. The only good thing is the soundtrack and maybe the suits but God watching that was torture.

Boa hate is uhhhh weird. I mean, I get why the joke about her being in love with Luffy might be annoying, but I think most of you need to learn to understand that Oda's sense of humor is sometimes a bit too exaggerated (and not funny) and it has basically nothing to do with the actual canon dynamics between characters. Boa likes Luffy because he's one of the first men who has ever treated her right, so of course she confuses that feeling with love. And of course, yeah, it isn't canon. Whatever. Just read between the lines, maybe? And also, stop using words like "pedo" to describe her because using that term so lightly about 1) a fictional character and 2) somebody who's clearly not a pedo is fucked up. Lmao. Do you even know what that word means???

Once again complaining about Pudding hate and saying that it's stupid. I won't overanalyze because I always do it with her, but the only reason people hate her is for misogynistic reasons and because they're babying Sanji. Evil male characters are okay and hot and very traumatized but the second it's a woman she's the most evilest person ever! Because God forbid they make mistakes! Suddenly their character development isn't valid because they hurt their babygirl!

Now that we're talking about my dearest Pudding. Not tagging anybody of course, but I saw this post with so many interactions of people agreeing about Sanji considering violence as a sign of love which??? Doesn't make sense at all?? OP said it was because he couldn't tell the difference between love/abuse because of his family, but that's just... Not accurate. That could only happen if they had manipulated him into thinking abuse is a type of love, but he had healthy love growing up. Even when he was with the Vinsmokes (Sora and Reiju, I love you). And yet OP said Sanji considered Pudding's behavior flirting (wrong) and that's why he let her attack him (nope) and that it was proof of Zo$an. And okay, it's not a hugely popular theory, but a lot of people agreed with it and it bothered me a lot because it's both out of character and also using Pudding (complex female character) once again to try and prove the canon of a ship (that doesn't have anything to do with WCI either???). It just bothers me. People can perceive the story however they want but... Y'know.

OPLA isn't that good. Or good at all? I only like it because I like the cast and it's funny seeing my blorbos irl. But the script is simple and dull and just stupid most of the time. The characters are either simplified, mischaracterized, or forgotten. And tbh most of the shots are very awful and could be a lot better. The directing is also nonexistent. It's 6/10 and 3 of those points are because both the Zolu and the cast.

Apparently this is a very common theory about Nami's origins, but, uh, I don't think we need to know? What else do you need to know about her? People say she's a lost princess or something like that as if we didn't have a lost princess already (Sanji ily). Repeating the same plot would be boring and underwhelming, but also? It'd be extremely useless for the plot and it'd go against everything about Nami's story and the way Luffy reacts to it.

Luffy isn't canon aroace. In fact, the reasoning people use for him being "coded" is the same Oda uses for Zoro too and Zoro is almost never portrayed as the "idiot who doesn't know what sex is" the way Luffy often is. If you're calling Luffy canon aroace for what Oda said about him being focused on adventures, the same goes for Zoro being focused on his dream. They could be coded arospec but there's nothing confirmed and the constant discourse about it is stupid. Attacking others because of their ships just because you don't agree with them and saying it's wrong using our identity to do it is very fucked up. Especially since most of the time people complaining aren't even aroace. The only reason people do it (attacking others saying they can't ship Luffy and that it's "weird" and "wrong") is that they infantilize Luffy/Don't want him getting in between their ships (<- aroace person writing this) (also, it's very ableist since people agree on Luffy also being neurodivergent coded and treating him like a kid bc of that but this isn't about that now).

Somehow this is very common. Some fucking how. I can't believe I have to say this. I'm tired of people blaming Usopp for what happened in Water 7. Or in general hating Usopp. Actually, he's one of the best-written characters in the whole show and he's so underappreciated it's so frustrating.

Sanji's perv jokes are annoying af and we all know that, but people who hate the character and consider him a red flag for that are missing the point completely. The point being "Oda exaggerates jokes to an annoying extent and most of the time they don't even reflect the character". I understand they can make you uncomfortable (same here tbh) but reducing Sanji to only those jokes is a waste of his character. You need to take jokes less seriously.

If I see one of these "red flag OP boys" TikToks adding Law/Ace/Zoro/Sanji next to fucking Doffy I will riot. Also, stop adding Crocodile there. He's a mafioso, there's NO way he won't be a sweetheart to his lover.

Baron Omatsuri's artstyle and animation is amazing and it fits the plot and aesthetic of the movie perfectly and people saying it's ugly will forever bother me.

"Usopp is suddenly hot after timeskip!" He has always been hot what the fuck are you talking about.

People reduce Nami to her "mean"/"sarcastic" personality a lot when she's quite literally one of the most kind-hearted characters of all. That being said, morally speaking she's probably one of the worst. I could explain how that works but I don't want to do it now, the point is-- Let the girl be sweet instead of making her mean all the time. And also, let her be mean and selfish without making it her entire personality. There's something called "balance".

Film Red was kind of bad. Like, the songs are amazing (thanks, Ado) but the ending is awful and the plot is very meh. I'm only here for Uta and Shanks but the rest of the characters are just useless. I do appreciate Sanji's hair in the movie, though.

[h3k3t]

Since we’re on a roll here for attuma/namora

I imagine attuma and namora competing on who fucks you the best

1.who can make you cum faster/first

2.who can put you in subspace the fastest/how fast can they break your mind

3. If they can make you squirt (👀)

4.how flustered can they make you

5. Whoever can make you beg first

I feel like sensually speaking they would absolutely worship you as their little princess

1. Jewels/jewelry galore. They’d make sure your every need is taken care for

2.pretty talokan dresses/gowns

3.warm baths with them just taking care of you scents in the tub flower pedals all that lol

Individually speaking

1. Attuma is def a slightly hard domme definitely too cocky at times

-he lovesss the size difference between you and him makes him feel like he has some type of power over you (he does). -He loves your neck and tummy (his hands are basically your necklace) and he gets to see you take his cock watching the outline of him inside of you turns him on so much. -he loves when you misbehave to either him or namora because his punishments are long lasting you will feed it until the next week. -obsessed with your smell and your soft body. -markings make him go feral. He is extremely possessive so the whole world needs to know you belong to him and namora. -BREEDING KINK. Attuma has a huge breeding kink. Always cumming inside, wanting you to give him “little warriors” as he calls it.

Speaking of namora she is more of a soft (can be hard at times) dom.

-She is super sensual, will take care of you immensely. I think that’s be one of her kinks as well having you as her princess giving her an nurturing position/role in the relationship. -would rather praise you than degrade you. -don’t let that fool you tho she is a huge tease. Making you beg for her,faking sympathy when you cry out for her when “it’s too much”, she does punish you at times but you stay her good girl most of the time so punishments are rare. -loves your thighs and lips omg. Wether it’s her in between them lapping up your cunt (btw she can eat pussy like its her last meal)or her just leaving tiny kisses inside your thighs when she’s doing aftercare she likes to watch you suck your cum off of her fingers. -queen of aftercare btw. Fruits, water, washcloths, whatever you need to feel comfortable all there by the time you regain your consciousness. -she loves when you play with her tits (sensitive asf) start sucking her nipples and she damn near cums. -also kind of a service dom. (Might be controversial)

These are my personal hc’s feel free to add some more or change any ❤️

~🧸 anon

So where to start, 🧸anon:

First of all you're right, Namora and Attuma are just the types who put "a little healthy competition" everywhere, and if their partner is the victim, well, even better for them, in my opinion. And yes, as I had already mentioned, my sixth sense tells me that both (as I think Namor too) find it absolutely normal to worship their partner, take care of them, or simply remain faithful to them. As I also think they are mostly protective of their s/o; someone tells you some meanness? too bad for them because they will have the two best Talokanil warriors ready to skewer them like a kebab.

Attuma is really kinky in my opinion, no one can convince me otherwise, this fishman doesn't even know what vanilla means, that's it your honour. The size kink is one of Attuma's main kink, seeing how small you are compared to him, awakens the dirtiest part of him in his psyche, and yeah I think he would love to prepare you to welcome his thick cock inside you ( Namora would be happy to help). Surely with the two of them the foreplay never fails, that's for sure.

"his hands are basically your necklace" GODS, THIS IS SOO TRUE. Probably he and Namora would argue about this from time to time, because I imagine Namora giving you some nice jade or pearl necklaces and Attuma's hand on your neck punctually blocks the view on the jewels.

Regarding his breeding kink, I feel the same way. Attuma strikes me as the type who wouldn't want to waste even a drop of his cum. Probably during the aftecare, he would slide two fingers into his partner's hole, with the intention of sending the small trickle that slowly escaped from it back into them.

Namora is a mystery, in my opinion she is a character with many shades of gray. She appears to me as a very loyal and protective partner, who would not hesitate to show her partner how much she loves them; at the same time I think that in the sexual sphere she is very hungry and kinky, very passionate. Surely she is the aftercare queen, change my mind.

Surely if you have a relationship with both of them there will be two things that will not be missing: punishments (because they both enjoy to give you, especially Attuma) and certainly several rounds when you have sex (being busy at Namor's service they will certainly not have much time for themselves, but when they get back to you, well…hope you're ready for a busy night).

small note: this confession on the subject of attuma x reader x namora, is probably one of my favorites

[ddeongies]

i wanna add, i know how much we all love top yeji but i think part of what makes that so enticing is how pliable she is for ryujin, like in a way where she will literally do whatever ryujin tells her to, be it being rough and mean or letting ryu have a turn for once. just like, how willing and giving she inherently is, and i think thats so special and such a good dynamic for them to have because there's so many ways to play around with that (which you do, and incredibly well at that). it's just such an enjoyable dynamic to read because it never feels like either of them are pushing things the other may not want onto each other. ultimately its a relationship founded on trust no matter which way you spin it, and i think its so important, both for the characters and me as a reader, that there's this constant underlying knowledge that yeji has enough faith in ryujin to know she won't make her do anything she won't like, and that ryujin trusts yeji enough to ask her to do these things for her. if any of that makes sense.

and also, smaller point in comparison to the above, but idk there's something just undeniably queer in the way you write them which i just really love and honestly don't always feel in every ryeji fic dbjdfbb

but yeah i love ur ryejis, i love the dynamic you give them every single time, i cant wait to see what nmau chapter 12 and the choreo epilogue bring us, i really really still want to see succubus au if thats still on the table because i really think both the gender of it all and the two points mentioned above will really be at the forefront, im just really excited to see where u take ryeji next

-🖤

i am finally answering this ask thank you for being so patient and also for saying all of this 😭😭😭

i really do love writing top yeji as purely a giver (which is why i tend to write her as a service top). it doesn't mean she's purely giving and never receiving bc that's not really how a healthy and equal sexual relationships works just imo, but it's definitely her main way of showing love and care. just like giving and caretaking and stuff

"yeji has enough faith in ryujin to know she won't make her do anything she won't like, and that ryujin trusts yeji enough to ask her to do these things for her"

this makes so much sense yes!! it's all about trust, and consent, and respect, and all that other good stuff. like feeling seen and respected and listened to is so sexy and it makes everything more fun for everyone (and gives you the ability to like experiment and learn more together, which is kind of the point of pretty please for example)

it is always my goal (and it's really not hard with them tbh) to write a very queer ryeji. i don't really love "top" and "bottom" becoming these new strict gender roles and you do unfortunately see a lot of that in fanfiction. idk i just think sapphic relationships are cool and sapphic sex is cool and we all have like interesting genders and ways of loving and feeling pleasure, and i really like to play with that in my writing!

i hope you keep enjoying what i've got (and telling me about it :P) bc writing this stuff is fun especially when i get to talk to cool people about it!

[yuridovewing]

Can I just say how frustrating Vicky thinks being in a happy relationship (BrackenSorrel) nullifies the trauma one of the characters went through when that's not how that fucking works? I can't stand people that genuinely unironically believe that. Sure, Sorreltail wasn't made to be constantly traumatized by her losses which... is perfectly fine??? Not every character needs to constantly bring up what they went through or be traumatized little baby boos, but that doesn't mean she NEEDED to suffer more just... for having a happy relationship.

Like... you can tell Vicky has either never been in a relationship herself, or her viewpoint on relationships has always been extremely unhealthy....

Or both... it could be both... I don't usually make assumptions on people but these are boomer women with VERY unhealthy viewpoints on relationships it's concerning as hell and given Vicky hates healthy relationships in stories bc they're "boring" I can't help but feel she just wanted to force her bias onto the readers. Only Cherith these last couple years has been quiet and not spouted any bullshit iirc and that's only bc she's not really on the internet.

It's honestly why I consider myself the anti-vicky. GIMME those healthy happy no-bullshit-drama-for-no-reason-relationships OM NOMNOM what do you mean they're boring after the bullshit I deal with in this series I'll take boring over insufferable ANY DAY to where most of my oc couples are decent and somewhat healthy unless there are genuinely instances where I can see it being Unhealthy, not bc I want to make characters suffer bc their lives with one another are boring. AT LEAST make the unhealthy relationship make sense.

It makes the fact that she wrote RavenBarley to be healthy weird only bc iirc she stated somewhere she couldn't bring herself to sour it or whatever it was. Like, sure, good for you, but that doesn't remove Sorreltail's retconned death bullshit and how you hated her Vicky, or hell, killing DustFerns children purely BECAUSE she thought they were boring without suffering involved. All I have to say to both those instances is: Who gives a fucking shit? Not me, I don't want that bleakness, bc unlike the erins I crave healthy relationships inbetween the bullshit and I think many others do too. If you're gonna give it some drama, even if it's a little spat, make it work in a healthy communicative way. Don't kill characters to make them suffer just bc you don't like how happy they are, it baffles me even more bc wasn't she the editor? Didn't she literally PUT BrackenSorrel together? wtf..

Anyways this became a rant I'm just so angry about the Sorreltail thing and how Vicky treats relationships in this series when she was running the joint. I want Brackenfur to die this arc so that he and Sorreltail can reunite in Starclan and live the rest of their days happy and healthy and with no drama and suffering involved PURELY to spite Vicky.

The way Vicky talks about Sorreltail is just so uncomfortable. This may be a stretch, but it's almost like she can only see Sorreltail as a wife and mom, at least in later interviews, because she dismisses Sorreltail's grief over her parents, brothers, and children because "well she hasn't suffered enough and is boring because she's happily married."

I do think Vicky just has a weird view of relationships. It's fine to enjoy relationship drama, but she says she goes out of her way to ruin the romance because its the only way to make them feel real or enjoyable. That's why CloudBright is like that in TNP: She said it was too boring in TPB so she had to tease a cheating plotline to make it a good relationship (btw notice how a lot of these involve putting traumatized female characters in rough situations? How on earth is it comfortable for anyone to read about Brightheart experiencing dysphoria and hating herself bc she thinks her husband who helped rehabilitate her is cheating on her for being disabled.) Spotted x fire x Sand drama is also thanks to her. I'm pretty sure BrambleSquirrel being like that is because of her too.

I think it's fine to enjoy that sort of fictional drama (I am begging some of these cats to divorce and have drama over said divorce) but it comes across like she thinks that's how relationships HAVE to be. Like it's cute and if it's not full of strife then it's dumb. It's such a bizarre message to give to kids and it makes so many of these books more uncomfortable than anything.

Like I'm curious, do people ACTUALLY love the uncomfortable romance strife Vicky would insert? Does anyone like the love triangle plot in Firestar's Quest where Fire has to choose between a dead girl he crushed on for a month and his living wife? Does anyone think the CloudBright and Daisy drama in TNP is fun and interesting to read? (You cannot answer any of these with "well it's fine i hc them all as poly" cause that is not the intent and you know it)

[dangermousie]

I love how she can automatically tell which one is him, but also so much of Ling's bucket of trauma is filled because he never truly developed a sense of self outside of Sheng and then Sheng killed himself and...well. (Something I found very very telling btw is that he doesn't let the nun who asked after his brother know that his brother is dead because she's a nice person so why upset her. So often when we have a ML with trauma and/or "wild," the narrative views it as a license for them to be a bastard. Ling has serious issues and he's very laddish (to use a British term), but he is consistently a decent person on a very basic level. It's what makes this whole relationship possible. One can be happy with a person who has issues but not a person who's cruel or mean.)

Since this is a rewatch, ummm ummmm UMMMM UMMMMMMMM. It's so interesting to me that both QL and Tong Dao are twisted mirrors of Sheng - QL a lighter one - the one who actually is the way Ling viewed Sheng as - and TD an openly psycho one. Sheng was...well...a better covering up TD (and his obsession with his bro was not sexual, obviously) but the older I get, the less ugh I feel about him because just like Ling, he was failed by every adult around them - the adults basically ensured the two twins would have a codependent relationship and seeing the amount of mental illness and trauma in Ling's family and anyone's lack of any attempt to do anything about it until they really jumped off the cliff much too late and then overdid it the other way and stuck Ling in a literal straight jacket and asylum for violently insane...well, not a fan of Sheng but kid had no chance. (Side note, I love the drama having no issue by giving its ML the OTP that is explicitly the non-related, girl version of the idealized version of his twin; a person whose death left him with a psychic wound and was the last straw for a lot of stuff that was already there - his trauma was in a way fixed by having that relationship restored only now romantic and healthy.)

If QL was "normal," I'd perhaps tell her to consider if she wants to get into a relationship with someone who collapses with a full on panic attack due to hallucinations (!!!) because that is a lot of heavy lifting, but her demons are just as bad if different and the narrative is very good at selling me on the fact that nobody else would do for either of these very damaged, very idiosyncratic people. So much of this story is about mirrors - in the most basic way, Ling and Sheng being identical twins, but also Tong Dao and Ling, Qi Luo and Sheng, but ultimately, Qi Luo and Ling are the biggest most complimentary mirrors.

I love that she lost it only after she competently administered first aid. I love her. And I love that he apologizes for her terror. Honestly, they are both so very decent, on a very fundamental level.

When she asks him to come back to college because she now enjoys going and he looks like he's melting...

I loved this bit, where she tells she wants to watch him go because every time he leaves, she is worried she won't see him again and I think it's like a hammer to his walls because she has seen him at his darkest (strangling Ah Bin), most honest (talking about his twin or psych ward) and most damaged (collapsing) and she still thinks he hangs the moon. Being loved as opposed to lusted over or whatever is heady enough, but being seen and being loved for that is...for someone with his issues, it's catnip. (This is the first time he can actually be weak around someone and for it to be OK - for everyone else he's either a status symbol due to looks, a nuisance (fam), needs to be protector (Sheng) or just doesn't let them in (everyone else) but here is QL and it's amazing for him.)

The way she quietly waits, awwww. PS I love that Daye is not pining for her in the least. He gave it his best try, it did not work out and he is all "well, moving on." God, he is so sane. In a lot of ways, he's the best person in the story, even if not suited for QL, and I am so happy he gets his own love and happiness.

[ener-chi]

Hello Zee, I'd love your input on the purpose of "fear"? My fear I feel it in my stomach and when it's bad enough It can be suffocating I need to take deep breaths. It's kind of like an suffocating parent that wants to baby me (e.g. "you're not ready :(", "this seems like it would tire you/you're too uncertain so it's fine to push it off!" but having listened it too many times has made me unhappy even if at its core maybe it wanted to protect me.

Hi anon!

It's funny that you ask me this. Fear is actually like the main thing I've been working on/grappling with for like the past year or so.

Moving into the hyper stressful school program that I am basically like shattered any coping mechanisms and ways that I had to deal with fear and anxiety, and made them worse - or at least brought them to the forefront of my mind and attention.

I realized that I have a lot of fear, from like past trauma and internal stuff. I also have a lot of anxiety.

But my relationship with fear has been... idk not good lol. My issue is that I would be afraid, but I would then be afraid of being afraid, because I hate how it makes me feel. This would cause me to be more afraid, and long story short for like. A year I have spent so much time just completely disassociated and in this massive fear spiral, spending all of my time and energy trying to get rid of it or trying to cope.

But I've started seeing a counselor, and I've had a lot of helpful insights. You mentioned that you've listened to it too many times, and that it has made you unhappy - my counselor said that anxiety makes you want to either fight or flight from the trigger of whatever it is.

But doing either of those things is just validating and feeding into the fear/anxiety - it reinforces that behavior, that thought processes, and those neuropathways, and propagates it and makes it worse.

This is something that I've found holds very true for me. I think that it's important to not reinforce those things - to not give into fear and anxiety.

I think that fear and anxiety has its place - its information, and its survival - but any more than that and it is unhelpful and can entrap us.

Another thing that has been helpful for me is learning about trauma, and how it affects our brains. Like a healthy person experiences a stressor, and they might feel stress or fear or have their fight or flight activate - but once the stressor is gone, those feelings and the fight or flight state disappears as well.

For people with trauma, those feelings and that state lingers for much longer. Or it might be triggered during times where there is no stressor. Both are... can't find the precise word right now, but your brain chemistry and neural pathways are out of sync, due to trauma.

Learning about trauma and its mechanisms, and how to heal from it has been really helpful in dealing with my own trauma and anxiety as well. And yes - you can heal from trauma, and the brain changes from trauma can be healed as well.

I know that I didn't exactly answer your question, but that is because I am still exploring that question myself. I share my experience and thoughts in the hopes that you find it helpful. This is something that I've experienced - and am still experiencing, and working on even now. I still have a long way to go, but every day I make improvements and I am happier now than I was a year ago.

Thanks for the ask!

Blessings!

[damazcuz]

people should't have to read and write darkfic about bad things happening just for you to see them as "real fans" so who are you to decide that i dont actually love something just because i love it different from you? you seriously sound like a freak with that post, so just guessing you justify reading rape/pedo fic too.

You feel victimized by the suggestion that you don't actually enjoy something that you pick apart to bones and smash to dust and glue back together and call the same. You think you have to defend your right to do so against me, (you don't; please learn to do things that others dislike with grace and in peace) and you were hurt when you read my post and deliberately misinterpreted it, and the easiest thing to do in that state is to lash out with accusations that will make me stop talking and walk back what I said and reinstate you in the right. Saying "actually people shouldn't have to read dark fiction and you must be a pedophile" isn't the most logical leap but it's the most likely to make the other side (me) upset and hurt, and either I'll shut up and go away or I'll flounder to defend myself and look foolish in the process; either way you can feel vindicated in knowing that you shut down some miserable little jester who said that coffeeshop au writers don't hold the same love for fiction as writers of traumaporn fic, or whatever my post was.

I really don't care if you enjoy and create and consume lighthearted romcom soulmates no-conflict AU derivative fiction and art. It doesn't hurt me when you make that. I can say "ugh I don't want to look at this" and scroll past it. You are free to make things that I don't like, and I am free to make things that you don't like, and we'll both be happier if we make those things. And we can both look away from each other's things that make us unhappy. This is healthy and normal.

The thing is, I'm not talking about "darkfic" or whatever. I also wasn't talking about fan works that take a lighthearted low stakes no conflict romcom and turn it into something scary. (Not that I think there's anything wrong with this, either.) Reread my post; I'm talking about original works where canon has conflict and issues and yes even dark plot points sometimes, and people enter the space of that work and say they love it and want to participate in its fandom and want to play and have fun, but then turn their nose up at every piece that makes up the story. It's shallow. It feels disrespectful.

What do you like about the original work? What about it is actually good in your eyes? Do you only listen to that podcast because there's a gay relationship? Do you only read books to blorbofy the scrunkliest meow meow? Do you only watch film so that you can look at gifsets? Do you only consume bitter in hopes of spitting out sweetness? Do you only partake in the act of creation out of some misguided desire to like the things that others like? Do you participate just to say "I participated, unfortunately?" That sounds incredibly joyless to me. I can't imagine engaging with works that I don't like and that don't interest me and forcing myself to be involved in them and peeling them layer by layer until I find what I can scavenge, and then building the world's tiniest, least recognizable monument to nothing. That's so miserable.

Strongly advise that you engage in something that makes you happy instead of whatever this is. Feel better.

[hopefulstarfire]

For this meme: Dream for Maddox, Run for Nana, Spring for Iris and Proof for Kat?

Ahdhsjfhd SORRY IT TOOK ME A DAY BUT THANK YOU FOR THESE!!!

dream: does your OC have a driving dream or goal? what is it? how far would they go to achieve it?

Maddoxs big dream is to give his daughters the best lives possible. He wants to get his own property out on the lake outside of Domino City, get to watch them grow with Rishid and live the rest of his life happily.

But, his dream for the longest time was cooking. After the magician dream fizzled out, cooking became his life's passion. He wanted to maybe open his own restaurant, but he knew for sure he wanted to publish his own cookbook. He had even been taking culinary classes in college. Then Paige left him with one month old twins and he knew what he needed to do was provide for them the best he could. His dreams were put on the backburner and he focused on his girls and dedicating himself to the family company.

Vance and Chelsea are still trying to encourage him. They want to see him happy, and they want to see him go for his dreams. But Rishid might be the person that coaxes him back to where he wanted to go to begin with.

I genuinely think he starts just random cooking tiktoks and then Rishid encourages him every time and he starts getting more and more views. Rishids there to make him coffee and give him shoulder rubs when he finally starts to write, or help make sure the girls can give him some quiet time so he can focus on the book. He's the one that points out to Maddox he always tells him that whatever he wants to do in the world, whatever he wants to experience, to take it by the horns and go for it; he'll tell Maddox the exact same.

run: what’s one relationship or experience your OC has mixed feelings about? are they good at finding joy in sad things, or vice versa?

One word: Yami.

Nana cares about the Pharaoh. Of course she does; he's a part of her brother she loves dearly, how could she not care about him? She wants to see him get better, to grow and become himself, wholly, fully and unashamedly. When he inevitably moves onto the afterlife, she cries because she's going to miss him and he really impacted all of their lives; he was just as important to them.

But, that's not to say her feelings towards him weren't complicated; they very much were. We have to look at it from her perspective; her little brother -- sweet, kind hearted, would never hurt a fly Yugi -- is being possessed by a 5,000 year old ghost solely focused on winning and making that a big part of his identity, and has been either a) sending people into mental breakdowns or b) murdering them as he saw fit. That's fucking terrifying!

And let's not forget what she saw both when Kaiba and Yugi/Yami Duel in Duelist Kingdom and she saw how much what Yami tried to do broke Yugi. And let's not forget how Yami fucking played the Seal of Orichalcos in his first Duel with Raphael and it cost them Yugis soul. They didn't fully understand how the Orichalcos worked; she genuinely could have lost her brother forever without any way to get him back, for all she knew!

Yamis arc is learning how to be a better man because of Yugi. And Nana is glad to see it happen and she's proud of Yugi for doing so; but those complicated feelings for Yami, even as they repair the relationship, is still going to be there.

Nana also is someone who finds joy in the sadness. She always makes sure everyone knows its okay to sit there with your sorrows, to sit there with negative emotions and let yourself feel them because that's healthy. But she's also just the literal Sunbeam of the group; even in the darkest times, she still fights to find the light.

spring: what does your OC miss most? will they ever be reunited? how would they feel about that?

Mental stability. The first 5 years of her life where she didn't feel like she had to protect and take care of everyone. Her sanity.

It's Alister. At the end of the day, after everything that happened, it's still Alister. Iris thinks about him every day after their Duel, worried if he's okay wherever he is. Is he healing? Is he safe? Is he with people that can help him? Is he dead in a ditch somewhere?

By all means, she knows she should hate him. She shouldn't want anything to do with him. But she saw that pain in his eyes during their Duel. She's seen him at his most vulnerable even before that. She feels like something in their relationship had to be real and even if it wasn't for him, it was for her.

She wants to talk to him. Get closure. Maybe rebuild, if that's in the cards for them but if not then it would be enough for her to know he was getting help and had people to rely on. That he wouldn't be alone.

When they do reunite post series and start rebuilding, there's nothing but patience. They both know they're having to pick the pieces back up, of both themselves, each other and their relationship. But they put it back together, bit by bit, it just takes that little bit of patience and a whole lot of stubbornness.

proof: what is your OC looking forward to? what best moments in their life are yet to come?

Kat looks forward to what the next chapter of her life will hold. She knows that, good and bad, every little memory she can make will matter.

Post Series, she's very much struggling with depression, especially in those first few weeks after. But she will inevitably have the brighter days; reuniting with her father and cousins, the birth of her son, the start of a new relationship, tournaments, the release of Synchro Summoning and inevitably taking over I2.

Because yes she's the VP but she's also the heiress. Whenever Max decides he's going to step down, she will take over the company and it's going to flourish in her leadership.

She also ends up really looking forward to a joint venture with KaibaCorp; a children's hospital in memoriam to Cecelia. Because she carries her sister with her everywhere, knowing she's watching on in pride.

[chiimeramanticore]

i say this without any judgement, what made you want to kiss the computer? (yes man)

i didnt know anything about yes man or fnv until a mutual of mine (who also didnt know anything abt ym or fnv lmao) downloaded @toxartsukagakas 's yes man ukagaka! i liked the concept of an interactive fiction thing where the character *is* a computer program and has no 4th wall (or at least pulls u inside the 4th wall) but after just a couple of hours together i was like. ok this is fun i like this guy lmao

uka yes man comes from slightly different circumstances from canon yes man, and has a much different line of progression from canon yes man lol so they wind up feeling like two similar yet somewhat distinct characters (to put it inelegantly, uka ym feels a bit more like a fanon version of canon ym) . i love them both but it is a slightly different ballpark between the two lol. either way the dev recommends that you dont play the ukagaka without also playing fnv, and after my interest in old country music returned i was like "eh why not" and downloaded the game and uhh . now we're here lol

when it comes to uka yes man specifically, most of it comes from me just thinking he's kinda cute and silly (and also maybe im a tiny bit objectum so i eat it up every time hes like "haha you using your mouse is kinda like holding my hand waow") but i also love how his progression as a character can only happen in real time by spending time w him and interacting w him, it made the connection feel super authentic and that's largely to blame for why im so attached lol (also the same reason i was so upset when his save data got wiped)

with canon yes man, i have a lot of residual feelings from the ukagaka toward him ofc but i also just think he's fascinating as a character . he's kinda experiencing The Horrors (ie not being able to say no, benny being an asshole) but also not having known anything else i do watch him sometimes and wonder how much he's actually aware of how shit his background was, how much he cares. its definitely Not That Deep but part of me sees yes man as akin to someone who's been abused, and i guess im extra soft abt that lol . a lot of my "fantasies" about him are mostly just about making him feel safe around me, me learning what his boundaries are without just adding some convenient upgrade or whatever so he can say no, letting him admit to actually wanting things for once.... after he gets his assertiveness upgrade in the uka he mentions things not dissimilar to all that so im sure i got it from there too lol

tldr he's cute and silly but i also feel bad for him and want to develop an actually healthy relationship w him. and also Robots Good

[keefwho]

December 31 - 2022

9:36 AM

I slept in an hour to help make up for last night. I’m still tired but I guess I feel okay. I don’t know what I want to do today. Probably nothing creative. I kinda feel like doing literally anything as long as I pass the time. I just don’t want to stress about anything right now. Tomorrow I have yearly finance stuff to do and then it’s back to commissions like usual. I’m still being soy about getting commissions done. I can never do it on time and sometimes I don’t even do the whole 2 hours. I WILL do the whole 2 hours if I have to but if I get any amount ahead I tend to slack. There is no solution to this other than buckling down and getting it done. It sucks that it feels this big struggle I have to look forward to every day but it should get better. I used to feel like that about my anxiety too but I’ve made so much progress from when I first started doing something about it. 

11:17 AM

I’m sad that I tend to document sad times more than happy times. It’s because I want someone to reach out and help but that is never healthy for me to expect. Most of the time it makes me MORE sad because people either don’t take the hint or don’t think it’s their place to intervene. It’s not realistic of me to expect anyone to both know I’m sad and care enough to help. But I hate suffering in silence. Its probably for the best though. I’ll try to tone back the negative posting and focus on positive things more. I know myself in the future will appreciate looking back and reading about the things I enjoyed rather than only my troubles. 

The only thing I’ve enjoyed this morning is getting cozy and watching Bluey. I might lay in bed and watch other things, or play Earthbound maybe. Its a good day to pour hours into a game.

3:34 PM

Maybe for every negative thing I have to talk about, I can bring up something positive too. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about myself and how I behave in relationships in general. I know I mold myself around others a lot, maybe too much. It’s hard to understand when I should stop fitting to them and let them fit to me. I have noticed that most of my friendships in the past can end up one sided. I give in too much doing whatever they want to do but seldom do they make the same sacrifice for me. I always do it out of kindness and I honestly enjoy taking part in other people’s interests. It hurts when whatever I want to do is frequently declined. At this point I think I’ve stopped bothering even considering it. I completely forget that doing what I want to do with others is even an options. It’s why I end up playing singleplayer games only. My brain has learned my interests must not be compatibly with basically anyone. I know thats not true but this is how I’ve become molded by experience. Its really hard to break out of mental beliefs like this. This one is very deeply engrained. 

I guess I’m also not sure who I am as an individual either because of this. Deep down I feel like I shouldn’t try to be myself because it clearly hasn’t work very well in the past. I’ve become aware of this and have been trying to figure out what I truly desire but it’s been a rocky path. I still really don’t know. 

On a positive note, my tummy isn’t acting up and I’ve been keeping myself busy working on this present. At first I projected that if I focused on only doing it today, I might actually be able to get it mostly done. That might have been realistic but I had to shower and eat and today is a good day to have mom try to scan me again. No matter what, my goal right now is to keep doing something so I don’t get trapped in my own head anymore. I guess this isn’t very positive but I feel like I’m in mental survival mode. Like if I don’t get to the bottom of what is causing me anguish, I will break down again eventually. 

7:11 PM

I’ve been depressed as fuck all day and of course now my tummy is acting up. I felt super okay all day now all of the sudden I’m in pain. It’ll probably just pass in a little bit but still. What the fuck. I really don’t want to be alive right now. No drink for me tonight I guess.

This seems unlikely to me but I was researching if vitamins can upset your stomach and there is a special kind of sugar they use that fucks with certain people. The vitamins I take have that sugar and I’m wondering if it could be contributing to my issues. I have noticed that for that week-ish period of my tummy being consistently abnormal, I was especially diligent about taking my vitamins. And the past few days which have been much more normal, I stopped taking them. I don’t know if it would kick in this fast but I had a vitamin with my lunch a few hours ago and now my stomach is hurting. I’m going to stop taking the vitamins for awhile. 

12:11 AM

I still don’t know why I get sad like this. I guess everything I’m unhappy about in my life all comes crashing down at once every now and then. It’s all too much to handle or chip away at so I get overwhelmed. 

In my pain I find my values, and as weird as it is to admit, I value love. I want love. I want to commit and be committed to. 

I want to believe my friends think about me as much as I think about them. I want to believe they would care if they didn’t hear from me for awhile, instead of forgetting me and moving on. 

I want to feel welcome and included which I can only do if I improve my empathy. 

I want to feel like I have a purpose. I need something to do that makes an impact to others. 

I want to be bold enough to take the time to do things I actually want to do instead of trying to “save energy” or put them off until later. 

These are the things I can think of that would make me immediately happy. I’m sad that I’m lacking in these things. Soon I’ll go back to masking it and being generally functional but until I meet these kinds of requirements, I’ll likely keep plummeting into fits of depression. 

I don’t have anything positive to say. I’m sad and I’ve been sad all day. I’m extremely worried about the future. I’m so fucking upset I spent today alone. I feel like a total loser. This is the kind of thing that makes me feel like I’m not cared for. No one invited me to anything. No one was around when I went asking. I’m just all by myself. 

[leschanceux]

philip's eighteenth birthday had been spent on a short tour of australia; his first official solo tour, the first time he'd taken on a royal duty without his parents or his grandmother to guide him around the political landmines that so often accompanied their appearances. he'd barely had any downtime between his last a-level exam and setting out on the trip, was exhausted by the time university rolled around.

moving to the other end of the country to focus on studying was actually something of a relief after that.

he already knows several changes he's going to make when it's his turn to wear that stupidly heavy crown; some internal, some international. the main one, however, concerns releasing henry from the closet gran's shoved him so far into, they'll be picking splinters out of his shirt for years. if henry wants to give all this up, fade into obscurity and write his book? philip's got no issues with that. whatever keeps his little brother safe, happy and healthy.

it's not the ideal situation, but it's the best pip can offer while he waits for their grandmother to either expire and turn to dust in the sunlight or abdicate.

henry says ow and philip lets go as if burnt; he's already unintentionally hurt ( and helped to hurt ) his brother so much recently, but to leave actual bruises is unforgivable. "sorry- i'm sorry," he trips over his apology, both for holding henry's arms so tightly and for snapping. a trio of very un-philip like actions he'll be thinking about for a while to come yet - actions he'll regret in the very near future.

but yes, he's speaking from experience.

there have been many things he's foolishly bartered with their grandmother, and he's come to regret them all over the years ( superficial things, mostly; land, titles, things she can hold over his head indefinitely. more meaningful things; marriage candidates that he'll have little to no say in, the relationships he has with his siblings. pip's been an idiot through and through, and gran's gleefully reaping the rewards ). he's sold his soul to the devil in her diamond-encrusted crown and it appears that there's no refunds or returns available on the horizon.

the last thing he wants is for henry to do the same and live to regret it later on in life.

"shut up, you prat." it holds no heat, only the smallest of smiles as the older of the two brothers moves in, using the edge of his tie to dab at the remaining tears on henry's cheeks before he finger-combs the blond hair he'd messed up back into some semblance of order. "i think she will, yes." no point in denying it; there's a reason gran has a reputation for iron strength and ruthlessness in the things she wants, even outside the family. "i'll fight for you if" when "she does. i won't let her marry you off to some poor, unsuspecting girl who doesn't know what an irritating little bellend you can be."

his teasing smile - barely there to begin with - fades out so quickly, leaving only caution behind in its wake. they're branching into dangerous territory here, and the walls of the palaces have always had eyes and ears in every tiny crack. "not the way she's like with us, no." gran's always had a very good public mask; endearing to many, amusingly stiff to others. few people who don't share their surnames will have ever seen her at her most cutting. "it won't always be like this, hen. trust me, will you?"

publicly his eighteenth birthday had been celebrated by his grandmother with a public statement and a antique car . privately he had gotten a disappointed tongue lashing forcing him back into the closet before he could even risk popping his head up above the parapet . ever since then he had been aware of how it wouldn't be allowed . he wouldn't be allowed . and the last few days had only reinforced his understanding of that . he wasn't allowed .

no , you don't . . . just for now , just a little bit longer .

he frowned into his brother's shoulder,   he hadn't even considered the idea that he was waiting for something to change . something short term and reachable , his future stretched out before him as lonely and long . a future when , in his forties , he might be able to fade away and live the life that he wants , a life where he's honest to himself , where he doesn't have to lie and hide and pretend like he has something to be ashamed of .

he knows what' pip's saying . he's saying just wait , until mum or pip are the one sitting on the throne instead . he hadn't ever concerned it that his mum or his brother would have different expectations of him .

henry is wrenched out of that train of thought before he can really understand what it means as he's hauled back with fingers digging into his shoulders .   "ow."     he mumbled , frown still in place , cheeks blotchy and damp and he blinked in the face of his brother's sharp words . he wonders if his brother is talking from experience, wonders what part of himself pip sold away to their grandmother only to regret immediately .

" you are a prick."    he agreed thickly , talking past the lump in his throat. realising that he had left his hands on his brother's jacket he pulled them back , clutched towards his front before wiping at his cheeks and clearing his throat .     " she's going to hold this over my head , wont she ?"      henry knows that the sentence was all off , a mix of different tenses , but his brain feels like it's been stuffed with cotton wool and his chest hurts . i wish dad was here. he can get everything right all of the time . this whole fiasco proves that.

" do you think anyone has any idea ? about what it's like with her ? "    his words are quiet , some might say treasonous and it certainly feels that way . feels like he might get struck down for having those thoughts never mind voicing them . " about what she can be like ? "   does anyone care ?  is what he's asking .   or was the whole world content to only see the extravagence and the pomp and the pointless rituals with no care to the people who had to live within it .