#its like. i keep seeing old places that dont exist anymore in flashes

[missazura]

trying to figure out if im a system or i have maladaptive daydreaming tendencies or if its possible to have both? i don't know. my head isn't grounded at all, kinda hard to be actually 100% present in reality when it keeps flashing through old memories.

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh

a/n: im a seijoh stan and theyre my little plant babies

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

this is so long oml i hate myself

theyre an actual boy band istg

lets be honest, they probably thought you were just another oikawa fangirl

they thought you just wanted to be closer to their captain bc you were another delusional girl who wanted to live out her fantasies

lmao im not trying to be salty

but when you just stared blankly at oikawa tooru after he called you a beautiful flower,

stageplay hinata calling you a mugwort

the team just about threw themselves on your feet

tbh you werent really there to get a boyfriend or for oikawa

you just needed an after school club and the other teams already had managers

the only sport that didnt was the boys volleyball team

imagine why

you were actually a little wary, since you knew of oikawa, being a first year yourself, and you were aware of his psycho fangirls who could probably kill you

but you needed a club that would last you for the next 3 years to graduate

it was kunimi who actually recommended being a manager

you were in his class and you noticed him sleeping in the morning so you gave him your energy bar

‘thanks’

you shrugged and smiled

thats why he tolerated you more than others

you were nice and you were the only one who noticed his tiredness, even the teacher left him alone, and did something about it

sometimes, you even gave him an energy drink

‘can you tell me why youve been so tired lately? i dont think ive seen you wake up until lunch’

he opened the snack and started munching while replying

‘early morning practice for volleyball is still a big adjustment. our captain demands us to be there 6 in the morning sharp and if we’re even a minute late, we’d have to run laps. like for every minute youre late, you have to run those amount’

oh my why is kunimi talking so much

but i love kunimi and first year seijoh boys rights in this household is valid

you furrowed your eyebrows

‘but yall are still growing and you need all your sleep. if i were there, id yell at your captain’

he grinned slightly, imagining your short height beating up their captain

‘meh. you want to be our manager? i saw you looking at the clubs board yesterday and we dont have one so you could take the opportunity and beat him up then’

ofc you agreed bc kunimi was best boi and you just wanted him to have enough sleep for once

after class, he waited for you to finish packing up and when you finished, yall left the classroom

until another guy with a spiky hairstyle joined you and you noticed him as the guy who sometimes came over to eat lunch with kunimi

‘oh, hello l/n-san’

you smiled gently

‘drop the formalities, kindaichi-kun. its only fair.’

he nodded before walking beside kunimi

‘kindaichi, l/n might be our new manager’

the onion head excitedly looked at you

‘really?! yes! so we dont have to fill our bottles ourselves anymore!’

kunimi glared at him and slapped his stomach

‘shes our manager, not our maid’

you laughed but placed an arm on him

‘its okay. i was a manager for my middle school volleyball team so i know a little bit about being one’

the two shared a look

god, they really hit the jackpot

as yall walked closer to the gym, you noticed the big pile of girls huddling at the corner

kunimi sighed

‘l/n, ill warn you ahead of time of our captain. hes kinda,,,, too much’

but you flashed him a smile

‘hes not the first one ive handled’

oml player-chan!!!

so when you opened the door and entered the gym and oikawa hit you with his normal antics, you just stared at him

‘okay and?’

hanamaki and mattsun howled before rushing to you and grabbing you in a hug

‘girls like her really exist!!’

you gave kunimi and kindaichi a signal of help and they nodded before gently prying the senpais off of you

‘senpai, please’

you gave kunimi a grateful nod

coach irihata went up to you bc wow, kunimi has a friend with of another gender?

‘how can we help you, miss?’

‘im l/n y/n, first year, and id like to apply as the manager’

internally, the coach sighed bc you werent the first one to apply

the reason they havent had a manager for years was bc of oikawa’s fangirls hiding themselves under that false facade

but he saw you brush off that comment oikawa make with no hint of fluster or blush on your face so he decides to give you a trial run, in guise of seeing if you could handle these chaotic boys

‘do you have any experience as manager? or do we need to teach you the ropes?’

‘i was a manager for 3 years in my middle school volleyball’

he nodded

‘ill give you one month. a trial run of a month to test the waters’

you agreed and your trial run began

kunimi mentioned that morning practice starts at 6 am sharp so you set your alarm for 5 to get ready and get to school on time before the boys

you remembered how to set up the nets so you quickly put them out (using a step stool bc we short) and ran to get the basket of balls

their water bottles were filled and you were in the middle of lugging the big basket of towels when the third years entered

the 4 of them usually came earlier than the rest so they saw you dragging the basket of fresh towels and wipe your sweat before smiling at the work youve done

iwa was so happy bc it was usually him who did this stuff and now that he had someone do it for him, it was like a god-send

oikawa’s eyes shone and he waved at you

‘yohoo, y/n-chan!’

you cringed at the loud voice of the famous oikawa tooru

‘hello, oikawa-san’

he chuckled at your politeness before hugging you

‘you did all this for us? youre so cute, y/n-chan!’

instead of the normal blush and love-struck eyes, you were actually very uncomfortable of the sudden skinship and you quickly ran to the side when iwa hit him at the head

‘shittykawa! leave her alone!’

‘iwa-chan!’

makki and mattsun stood next to you as the boys did their usual fight

‘is this all an act or are you really not attracted to oikawa?’

mattsun shot him a surprised look bc why was he so straightforward

but you just shrugged

‘hes cute, i admit. but ive seen much cuter and the boys in my middle school team was basically full of him so,,, and i hate guys who think theyre all that just bc theyre blessed w a pretty face. if anything, ill probably go for iwaizumi-san’

pop off S I S T E R!!!

you just won the heart of these two

slowly but surely, they all came to accept you and iwa straight out loves you bc you maintained this routine for the whole month of your trial run

and you still remained indifferent of oikawa’s advances and he was even impressed and slightly agitated that you werent paying attention to him

‘y/n-chan, one date! just one!’

you huffed before looking up from your clipboard

‘i like men, oikawa-san. not boys’

that comment made the guys shriek

‘y/n-chan! youre just a first year! you dont need a man!’

‘youre not a man, oikawa!’

you left oikawa to be tormented by his teammates and went to go and hand over the report to the coach

he was impressed by the notes you made bc they were ones he even missed

like the split-second of hesitation that kindaichi usually has that goes unnoticed but you immediately saw

or the wince oikawa has whenever he so much as jumps an inch

you could even tell the difference between iwa’s spike and if he was being easy or he was going full-out

this added on to the fact that the boys loved you and irihata actually saw kunimi try more 

but he thinks its only to earn your praises

‘y/n, youre officially the team manager’

yall celebrated at the normal hang-out spot which was the ramen shop and it truly shocked you at how much these boys ate

granted, this was the first time you ate together but you didnt expect them to eat nearly 5 bowls each

you could only finish 2 and you already feel like throwing up

‘honestly, how do you guys not gain weight after this?’

the table you sat at, iwa, kindaichi, mattsun, and kunimi, looked at you and shrugged

‘i work out’

‘i run’

‘i fast’

‘i poop it out’

lmao im sorry i cackled too hard at this

you stared blankly at mattsun’s answer who said it so seriously that you snorted a laugh

they watched you and your laughter bc you havent really expressed yourself as much 

so they made it their goal to see you laugh more

‘y/n-chan! you need to eat more!’

oikawa shouted, clearly food drunk, but you shook your head aggressively

‘i only planned to eat one bowl but he just had to shove another down my throat’

‘but you need to grow, y/n-chan!’

‘i want to grow taller! not wider!!’

As a manager:

oh boy

you basically grew into kinda their mom

‘oikawa-san! you need to rest your knee or youre going to hurt yourself! i will drag you home myself!’

‘kunimi, if you try to get this one more spike, i’ll buy you a bag of those caramel bites you like’

‘iwa-san! if you hit oikawa-san too much, youll destroy the little braincells he has!’

‘yahaba-san, nice dump!’

‘is your knee okay, watari-san?’

yall really forget that watari and yahaba exist sometimes smh

it was part of the work

keeping up with seijoh

so to keep them encouraged, you gave them praises that they always demand for and they always turn to you whenever they did something good

mattsun gives you a look whenever he blocks iwa’s spikes and you give kindaichi a head pat whenever he blocks some too

bc of how you are with them, sometimes, they forget that you are actually just a first year

they get shocked whenever you walk in with kunimi and kindaichi and talk about the current homework bc it slips their mind that their hard-working manager was actually just a 15-year-old girl

so, they try to ease the burden whenever they can

like iwa offering to help you whenever you have to take their jerseys to the laundrymat

or offering to help you with your assignments since theyve only been through it once

more like watari, yahaba, and iwa bc the matsuhana are clueless and acts like they completely skipped that grade

also

!!!!

oikawa’s fangirls ltr dont leave you alone!!!

now, its known that youre the manager of the volleyball team bc oikawa has boasted about your efforts and such

this obvs ticked off a bunch of girls bc they were jealous that you got to spend more time in a single practice with their precious oikawa-senpai than they have their entire lives

more than once theyve cornered you to threaten you to stay away from their senpai or youll have something coming for you

you never take them seriously bc you can fight too and you just give them a look and push them away

but this one time

TRIGGER WARNING-START

okay tea

the self-proclaimed president of the oikawa tooru fanclub, kenta miyo, cornered you at the bathroom with her other minions

you were just washing your hands and drying them off when she marched up to you and grabbed your hair before tugging it back

obviously you were surprised and shouted

‘oi! what the hell?!’

‘you slut! you need to stay away from my tooru, got it?!’

ehm what

you hissed and wrenched her arm from your hair and pushed her away

your hair was now a mess and you were fuming, already sick and tired of the torture these girls put you through

‘he belongs to himself, not you! so stop being delusional and leave me alone already!’

she signalled for the girls to hold on to you which you slapped away but they forcefully grabbed your arm while you kicked at them and struggle to get out of their hold

jesus what do these girls eat

miyo watches you struggle with a smile and cackles

‘oh? no fight anymore, little kouhai?’

you glared at her

‘i dont want to beat yall up bc id get yelled at by tooru so you need to let me go or regret it’

at the mention of his first name, her eyes widened and her face twisted and she slapped you

‘oi! respect your senpai, you brat! dont you ever say oikawa’s first name!’

your lips curled

‘oh? thats funny, because he actually told me to call him that since he wants his cute little manager to be very comfortable with him’

you achieved a feat that she has been working to get her entire high school life and miyo was not happy

‘ive been with him for 3 years and you just suddenly show up out of nowhere and call him that?! i dont think so!’

she had her hands around your neck and you gripped her arms, making her wince

but you laughed at that comment

‘heh, thats pathetic, isn’t it? here you are, my senpai, who has been vying for his attention for 3 years only to be ignored yet a mere first year, who shows up out of nowhere, has been asked to a date nearly a million times every day. that must be tough’

she shrieked at that comment and threw you on the floor, making you accidentally hit your head at the edge of the sink

yall im actually so bothered by this scene and im wincing as im typing

you bit your lip to prevent any sound of pain to escape bc you knew thats what she wanted to hear from you

but you werent going to give her the satisfaction

instead, you looked up at her, hatred swirling in your eyes

‘youre freaking psycho, you know that? once tooru and hajime knows about this, theyre going to give you hell. they wont ever let this go bc im the manager of their prized team and their little baby sister. so go ahead, do what you want with me. bc i paid too much for these nails to be tainted by dirt like you’

saiyo, a girl you noticed to be watari’s classmate when you went and visited him, nervously tugged on miyo’s jacket

‘miyo, we should go-’

‘SHES BLUFFING. AND HERE, SINCE YOUR SOCCERFIELD FOREHEAD IS BLEEDING, LET ME HELP WASH IT OUT’

and she poured over a carton of banana milk over you, making you wince at the sticky and cold liquid

the tough facade was crumbling and you were now screaming for help in your head, hoping that stupid theory from yahaba about team telepathy to work

but it didnt

TRIGGER WARNING-END

when miyo and her girls left, you sat on the floor, soaked and sticky and bleeding

then you begin to cry angry tears

you were angry that you were being treated like this just bc you were a manager

you were angry that you let them do that to you

you were angry that you prized your nails more than punching her square in the nose

you were just angry

periodt

staggering on your own feet, you stood up and leaned on the sink, eyes widening at the dripping red liquid from the gash on your forehead, staining the porcelain sink

you were stupid and unconsciously touched it making you wince 

‘shit, that hurts’

you whined quietly

there was little you can do with toilet paper and water to clean yourself up but you managed to at least stop the bleeding

you knew you had to be put on concussion protocol just in case bc you that hit was quite hard but at the moment, that wasnt your concern

practice has already started and this was the first time you werent present for daily practice

this was confirmed at the constant buzzing of your phone in your skirt pocket which you didnt listen to and instead, started thinking of ways to go to your locker and get your stuff and fake being sick but at the same time, not be seen and relayed to the team

time was ticking and you had to come up with a plan fast before oikawa will send the team to come looking around the building for you

once you looked at your reflection and smiled big, you decided it was enough to not show the pain you were in right now

girl im hurting for you

you peeked out of the bathroom door and saw the coast was clear so you quickly ran to your classroom, which was thankfully empty, and quickly grabbed your things

but as you were packing up, the tears just kept falling

it didnt stop as you bolted down the stairs, using your cardigan to hide your face from the public

once you were safely out of school grounds, you finally took out your phone and reviewed through all the worried and concerned texts from the team group chat

but you just replied, ‘im fine but i just feel really sick right now. girl stuff’

you smirked, knowing that would keep the boys away

but oikawa had to go and ask you to call him

‘y/n-chan! do you want oikawa-senpai to come over with chocolates and ice cream?! wings or no wings?!’

your jaw dropped at the question and clearly scandalized by the question

the team was too as shouting began and you could faintly hear iwa scream, ‘oh my god, shittykawa!’

‘im seriously okay, oikawa-san. i just need to be alone right now and ill try and get some sleep. good bye’

then you hung up

there was no way you could tell them

they were in their last year anyways so doing something about it wouldnt matter

and you were strong 

but apparently not strong enough to fight them off though

you would cover the wound with concealer and continue on with practice tomorrow as if everything was normal

but there was only so much you could take

just yesterday, they trashed your locker and a week ago, they took your bento and threw it away

you even got into a fight with this one girl but she scampered away, too scared to do anything alone

so you were actually just tired and want everyone to leave you alone

believe me, youve thought of quitting sometimes

but youve actually created a bond with these boys

like when you take hanamaki to get cream puffs whenever he loses against iwa in arm wrestling

or when yahaba calls you at ungodly hours to express his worries for next year and to fill oikawa’s shoes

it was simple moments that you shared with each player that kept you from not leaving

soon, you found yourself crying again and the looks pedestrians were giving you was starting to make you uncomfortable

a girl, with her gross hair in a bun, puffy eyes with a bleeding wound and walking down the street

that was a sight

so you cut a corner to an alley by your house to escape from the judging eyes and you were too busy wiping your eyes to see a boy who was crouched down on the floor and ended up walking over him

omg my baby kyoken hello luv!!!!

you gasped and you were surprised and quickly apologized

kyotani was originally about to yell at you, no matter what, but he saw the state you were in and concluded you were either from a fight or was beaten up

he recognized that and decided to just glare at you and go back to feeding the stray dogs and cats

you breathed a sigh in relief when he didnt yell at you bc that wouldve been the last thing you needed today

‘sir, im sorry for hitting you. if there is something i could do for you, dont hesitate’

he ignored you and you focused on him paying attention to the strays

going into your backpack, you had a milk carton and a sausage stick from earlier

you used your thermos lid to serve as the milk bowl for the cats while you peeled open the meat and used your scissors to cut chunks of it for the dogs to have some

kyotani watched as you went into action to feeding the animals that people usually ignored

he knew you

well, he recognized you

when he watched from the top of the gym, he saw you as their manager who ran around and helped everyone

sure, he still didnt trust you 

but he watched you grin and smile as the animals started to eat

‘im in a hurry right now so i have to go but ill feed you again tomorrow, okay? you too, stranger-san. ill bring food for you too’

then you stood up and ran away, probably in a hurry to fix that wound

he wouldve offered to treat it for you but he remained silent, watching the cats mewl at the now empty lid

the next day, oikawa was worried for you and when he saw you at early morning practice, he practically glomped to your side

‘y/n-chan! you okay?! oikawa-senpai was so worried for you!’

you cringed but nodded

‘im okay, oikawa-san’

‘senpai, y/n-chan! call me senpai!’

‘im not going to feed into your kink, oikawa-san’

*cue everyone busting a lung*

to this day, no one still knew what happened to you

you kept it quiet and you were sure you got everything handled

except for one person

kyotani was smart and for some reason he knew you got beat up by the fangirls and the perpetrators were easily found bc he saw them huddled around your locker, probably trashing it again, and lets just say, 

no one is def going to mess w you now

back to manager moments!!

during practice matches, the boys rally around you to prevent other teams from sweet-talking you

they make sure no one gets past them and always have excuses to get your attention

you knew what they were doing but you pretended not to, heart warming at their protectiveness and hunger for your attention

even though you have your own jacket, the team gives you theirs all the time like oikawa has his special team jacket w his name at the back and when he feels threatened by schools like johzenji, he makes you wear it

‘youre mine, y/n-chan and i want that blondie to know’

‘ehm, no, oikawa-san. im iwaizumi-san’s’

oikawa screamed

lmao training camps w them is CHAOTIC

YOU WANT TO CRYYYYYY

OIKAWA IS CRYING BC IWAIZUMI IS BEATING HIM UP, MATSUHANA ARE FREAKING OUT THE FIRST YEARS ABOUT THE GHOSTS IN THE WOODS AND NOW KINDAICHI REFUSES TO LET GO OF YOU, WATARI GOT LOST GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND YAHABA IS SCREAMING ABOUT THE WEATHER MESSING UP HIS HAIR AND MAKING IT FRIZZY

reminder: threaten to quit everytime they get too much

your hugs are the best!!!!

you have a special hug for every player

oikawa gets his favorite which was the normal arm around the waist with your arms around his neck while he snuggles in your neck

iwa gets flustered easily so you hug him from behind so you cant see his flustered look

mattsun actually likes the jumping in the air so he catches you type of hug

makki is more tame and has his arms around your shoulder with his chin on your head

yahaba is the twirly kind where he just picks you up and swings you around

watari also gets flustered easily so he likes the one-arm hugs

kindaichi gets blushy at the slightest touch from you but he gives you a hug from behind you himself where he can bury his face in your hair while you caress his arms

kunimi, now he likes it when you squeeze him extremely tight bc it makes him feel loved and feel alive

kyo doesnt even talk to you what makes you think you can give him a hug

their lost for shiratorizawa really broke them though

you made them their own bentos for nearly a week to keep them encouraged and gave oikawa extra attention to keep him from sulking or practicing late

‘oikawa-senpai, lets go watch that new movie later’

‘S-S-SENPAI?!’

then the arrival of our baby kyoken

yahaba was moody the whole practice and you were currently trying to keep him from spiking a ball to someone

‘even just today, he’s late’

‘who?’

‘that stupid dog’

he just keeps mumbling and grunting

and then the said dog arrived

you peaked out from behind iwaizumi, who protectively went in front of you

shock ran through you and you pointed at him

‘puppy-kun!’

lmao puppy what

youve called him that since he refused to tell you his name, but you call him that bc he paid special attention to this one baby beagle

he raised a hand in greeting and you gave him a smile

‘youre a player here, too?!’

he ‘glared’ at you but nodded stiffly

the team really thought that he would lash out at you but he is surprisingly tolerant

the power of the manager

he still hasnt talked to you but he does respond to you and even helps you with chores, still not talking ofc

hes so tsun tsun and he deserves my heart yall

however, youve heard him talk to iwaizumi, and iwaizumi only, so youve heard his voice before

ngl, you were flustered by how gruff and deep it was

then their loss to karasuno

bruh, it was KARASUNO

the entire team fell apart and after the match, each of them ran away from you to stop lashing out

you were also on the verge of crying, seeing the broken look on your third years

your precious third years

you decided to give them their own space but you heard a loud banging sound from the bathroom

yahaba and watari were outside, clearly trying to talk to someone in there on coming out but it got louder

okay you were lowkey like, ‘hm, i should not be here’

but you recognized that voice

you knocked at the boys door to be respectful

‘kyo-san? its me, y/n’

he was silent but he did unlock it

you took this as a sign to enter and you gave yahaba and watari a smile

‘i’ll be fine. go to kindaichi and kunimi. they need your comfort right now’

tbh, you were surprised the bathroom was still intact but you saw the stall door at the very end being rattled and shaken

you remained by the door but you wanted to go to him

‘kyo-san, please come out so i can treat your injuries’

he expected you to say those words like ‘its okay’ or ‘theres always next year’ but you didnt

instead, you knew he was hurt and wanted to help him

he continued to give a few punches to the wall and the door before emerging

you wordlessly treated the wounds and offered your hand

‘im here, kyo-san. dont worry, im right here’

at the ramen shop, you told them to eat as much as they want and wordlessly gave them your card, slightly crying inside bc you know this was going to be like over a hundred dollars

but you were treating the boys bc they deserved it

you sat beside kindaichi, who was just sobbing and apologizing, so you were wiping his tears and holding his hand under the table

this precious babie

bruh i was sobbing when i watched this part like uuggghhhh

after dinner, you walked with the other third years, knowing they would go to the gym, so you gave everyone else your special hugs before sending them home

‘text me when you arrive safely, okay?’

‘yes, mom’

‘KINDAICHI WHAT’

oikawa’s speech made you cry bc despite only knowing them for not even a year, you already feel like a family

you didnt want your family to be broken but you knew they would all go their separate ways eventually

there was a big hug pile of third years on the side where you took a picture and sent it to the group chat

you had to eventually go home after helping them clean up and when you checked your phone, a fresh batch of tears rolled down

each from every person on the team but with the same sentence and same words

‘we love you, l/n y/n. thanks for everything.’

ngl i dont think this was that good and its like 8 in the morning and im extremely tired

i want to do karasuno, nekoma, and fukurodani but im so exhausted i cannot right now

[poptod]

The Ivory Haunting (Ahkmenrah x Reader)

Description: His face is engrained into your head but his name is nowhere. Where does he exist? Why are you so obsessed?

Notes: this is strangely creepy and i dont know why. its not what i meant to do but i think its cool anyway. gender neutral as fuckin always WC: 3.1k

+

There's this carving – more of a bust or sculpture – that has your mind twisted every which way. It's a stupid thing, really, but you can't get his expression out of your head, and thus it haunts your waking and sleeping hours. The style is Egyptian, you think. He's wearing a crown on his head, one that you've seen in a couple museums before, and he has an absent smile on his face. While you scroll through the endless amount of photos of ancient Egyptian statues online, you note that it's an all too common expression.

At this point you can't even recall where you first saw it. Could've been through the endless internet surfing or the many museums you visited in your travels, but at the end of the day you're stumped. What was his name? Where did you meet him?

It's clear as day. His alabaster skin. He looks straight at you with empty eyes, the irises having eroded many years ago in the hot sahara sun. His nose has long fallen off, leaving behind a jagged scar that drags from his brow down to his lips, where that haunting smile sits so easily. They're full, his lips – sweet, and soft, even for stone. At each end are little dips, showcasing the slight smile. His chin is a little big, but it makes way for the sharp contrast of his jawline. He has cheekbones – mostly hidden behind the crown – and his ears are a little large. The trait that draws your attention each time is his eyes. Blank. Like they had truly been staring at the world for thousands of years.

You don't get out much anymore, not since the restrictions were put in place. There are moments, especially in the dead of night, in which you want so desperately to leave your tiny apartment, but the curfew states otherwise. Policemen and government workers roam the streets and you'd rather not get into a tussle over something so small as an urge.

Still, you stare outside your window, wondering why it feels like you're suffocating. This is how you spend a lot of your time nowadays, staring at the streets. There's hardly any cars out, and the sidewalks are barren, a sight you'd seen only once before during the original quarantine. London is not a quiet city. It's quite the opposite, and to see it muted is in the least upsetting.

Your job is... easy. Considering the state of the world, you're incredibly lucky, retaining your job and keeping away from the outside. You also get a lot of free time. Usually you'd spend it in front of a television, or in a good book, but now it's in front of your computer screen. The typing marker flashes in front of you, placing behind it the clear words you've searched at least a hundred times by now.

ANCIENT EGYPTIAN BUSTS

By now you know what the first images are going to be. Nefertiti, mostly – her bust is by far the most famous. Then there's of course Akhenaten with his elongated skull, followed by several advertisements for Kemetic worship.

You don't know much about Egyptian history. Or, at least you didn't use to. Now you recognize the faces, though rarely do you ever remember the names of the many forgotten dead. You're just looking for one – one name, one bust, one dead man.

He's nowhere, not in the books you buy or the articles you read. When you sign up for an online course of ancient Egyptian history, you expect to see his face in a textbook, but he's not there. Sometimes it feels like you're the only one who remembers him, which is funny – you don't even know him. Either way it's a way to occupy the time, since you have so much of it lately.

The British Museum is reopening. There's a whole thing about COVID, of course, and the only way to enter is to get tickets online. Only a handful of people are allowed inside the museum at once, and since you don't hear about it until later, you are set to wait a month and a half before you can visit. Bitterness wells up in the pit of your stomach, but like most things you set it aside. None of it really matters anyway – yes, not knowing his name feels like drowning mid-air, but it won't kill you.

From the moment you reserve a ticket to the moment you can actually use it, you dream of him every night. Sometimes it's actually him, no longer a statue, taking your hands and leading you somewhere you don't belong. His skin is warm, unlike his statue, but just as soft as you imagined. His nails are meticulously cleaned and his eyes are bright, full of a life you're desperate to understand. It doesn't make any sense. You're yearning so deeply for him, for something you've never known before, and every second away feels like pure horror in your veins.

Why do you need him this much?

You look at yourself in the mirror, fixing a strand of hair that falls in front of your eyes. You're dressed well – at least comparatively to your former few weeks of dress – and a quiet excitement thrums in your heart. Today is a day you're going to go out, and to make it better you're going to the museum. They have an Egyptian exhibit. A foolish part of yourself hopes you'll find him there, nestled in the corner of a long and fruitful hallway filled with Egyptian statues.

It's... disappointing, to say the least, to find out there's only one room for Egyptian exhibits and it's occupied by only one thing, besides broken pots and stone dolls. The main exhibit's name is Ahkmenrah, a young Pharaoh older than the Great Pyramids of Giza. All information on him can be fitted onto a four by six stone plate. While standing in his room, surrounded by hieroglyphs you've been studying hard to understand, you look him up on your phone. There's little mention of him, but the one article you do find on him has a 3D recreation of his face. He looks white and you know the article's bullshit.

While absently holding a conversation with one of the curators, you discover there's a store of Egyptian exhibits kept underneath the museum that aren't fit for showcase since the downsizing. Whatever that means, you find a sliver of hope, one that pales quickly at the realization you'll never be able to go down there. They wouldn't let some random visitor (who wasn't even an actual historian) to go see closed off exhibits.

Fischer, the director of the museum, hires you four months after you send your resume in. The second he does you set your plan into motion – there's no time to waste.

The same day he gives you the keys, you're sneaking in under the cover of night. For some reason, the lights are still on in the main museum, but fortunately that's not where you're headed. You unlock the backdoor, sneaking through the night guard's break room until you find the door to the basement. Flipping through the keys on your ring, you quickly find the right one, shoving it into the keyhole and almost wrenching the door open.

You run down the stairs. It's almost sprinting, but you can't be too loud with your shoes. There's nothing in your mind except him, his funny little smile, the somehow soft alabaster of his skin. You need to get to him. Something inside you says he's here – he's here, he's here, and there's nowhere else you can be without your whole body combusting.

You stop dead in your sprint, chest heaving as you're faced with the open boxes filled with Egyptian busts. With frantic eyes you look them over, searching desperately for one familiar face, finding none until the very last open box.

It's here.

He's here.

The broken nose, the formation of the resulting scar, you recognize every. Fucking. Inch.

Each box contains little notes on who the statues are (if known), the material, the time period, and other such relevant information. Your hands shake as you reach forward, slipping the piece of paper out of the paper stuffing.

King Ahkmenrah

Date: ca. 3,100 - 3000 B.C.

Period: Old Kingdom

Place of origin: Egypt, Cairo

Medium: Ivory

Ahkmenrah.

Sudden clarity strikes you as it never has when you recall searching his name online. He's the exhibit. He's the mummy upstairs. He's actually here.

The blood in you freezes for a moment, caught up in shock and relief. Now you know his name. A small part of you is finally able to rest with the answer, but the rest of you knows exactly what to do – go upstairs. Find the exhibit. Lay at his side. After all this time you still don't know why, but the ache of neediness in your heart is enough to leave you weak to your inner desires.

Now that your head is clear, or at least unhindered by your questions, you note a worrying amount of sound coming from upstairs. Footsteps pound on the ceiling as you climb the staircase, leaving you curious and terrified. That many people shouldn't be in one place – it's a death wish for the modern plague. You grit your teeth, fingers curling up in to fists that dig your nails deep into your palm. Is it safe to go upstairs? There's definitely people up there and you have no idea who they are. The museum could be being robbed right now and you wouldn't have a clue. It's a death wish.

Why are you still going up the stairs?

Why are you opening the door?

This shouldn't be happening. There's enough people to fill the whole first floor, ranging from the public entrance of the museum to the African exhibits in the back. Almost all of them are wearing historical outfits, in such a wide array you might've thought they'd stolen them from the exhibits, had they not looked exactly like the wax figures. The marble statue of the Roman on his horse is no longer on its' pedestal. Actually, he's talking to a woman a few feet away from you, though he is still on the horse.

You should be passed out on the stairs going by how fast your heart is beating, but instead you stand in the doorway petrified. Your eyes sit wide, scanning back and forth over the crowd, searching for something you don't know of. With all the stimulus in front of you, you don't even know what to think. The exhibits must be coming alive. Does someone watch over them?

It's then, with little clarity in your head, that your eyes land upon the night guard. She doesn't look in the least bit rattled, so you easily assume she's used to this. Her calm is so alarming to you that you blink yourself back into your body.

These are... people. Just people. They haven't been put under some curse that'll bring chaos to the world. All they're doing is partying, and though the noise level is a tad unpleasant, it's just about as rowdy as some teenagers.

When you realize you aren't in danger, you bolt from your place at the door. Twisting through the gathered crowd, you slowly make your way to the staircase, ascending with quick feet as your eyes lock onto the Egyptian hall. It's a few more feet until you turn sharp, shoes squeaking as you slide into the room. The familiar gold lighting greets you, shining off the open sarcophagus, which you skid to a halt in front of as your lungs desperately try to catch up to your legs.

Of course it's empty. Your Pharaoh – or Ahkmenrah, you suppose you should use his name now that you know it – must be downstairs, where the life of the party is. Why would he stay up in this empty room, all alone? From here you can barely even hear the music that was once pounding into your ears. Still, for a moment you stare at the bottom of the vacant coffin, caught in the awe of such a long-standing history.

"What are you doing here?"

The words catch you by surprise, and in reaction you whip around, eyes wide as the voice continues, "who are you?"

My King. Before you can even process the thought, the words roll onto your tongue, but to your immense relief you catch yourself before actually opening your mouth.

"I..." it barely comes out with how little you've physically spoken recently, "I work here."

As usual, your voice carries that quiet, calm, slightly annoyed tone that makes people wonder why you're being so difficult. It's not really something you can control, but the King doesn't seem to notice. Maybe it's worked to your advantage this time; despite your racing heart and frozen feet, you keep an even tone.

"I don't think I've seen you here before," the King says, his eyes narrowing as he steps closer. You try to back up, but you're already pressed against the sarcophagus, and his glare keeps you from running.

"I just started today," you answer honestly.

"Ah," he says, his voice softer the moment he begins to believe you. "This must be rather alarming for you, then."

You're not afraid to admit he's right.

"A tad. How do you speak english?"

"I learned it during my time at Cambridge University," he answers. He's from over 4,000 years ago, so you know he didn't attend as a student.

"You were on display there?"

"Yes," he says with a bright smile, one that catches you entirely off guard.

It practically blows you away – his demeanor changed so quickly, from a stern Pharaoh to a sweet, young man who probably bought his girlfriend flowers every Monday. For a moment you wonder why you were so caught up in him before knowing him; now that you've heard his voice, seen the way he moves, your interest increases tenfold. It's not enough to see him. You need to touch him. You need it more than anything.

"I've been looking for you," you blurt out, but the words come out so slow it sounds like you consciously chose them. You bite the inside of your cheek as you watch his smile falter.

"What do you mean?" He asks. He's standing in front of you now – if you extended your arm and took a small step closer, you'd be touching him.

"There's a sculpture of you," you say softly, swallowing the lump in your throat, "but I didn't know how to find your name."

"How'd you find me, then?" He asks, but he looks less offended. Now there's a keen look in his smile and in his eye, like he's going to enjoy this, like he knows something you don't.

"Sheer luck," you say with a shrug. It's mostly true.

"I think I know you," he says, and his smile quirks further upward.

"What?" You say, trying to back up again as he steps closer. The sarcophagus is, unsurprisingly, still behind you. "How?"

"Back when I was a King, I had a slave my brother killed," he says in the least comforting tone, "but my father had this idea."

Another step closer. You can feel the heat of his naked waist on your shaking hands.

"See, he had a magician in his employ, and he would do anything for me. Especially since I loved that slave so dearly. Truly," he leans forward a little, placing his hand on the gold case behind you and trapping you against him. His chest is practically right against yours, but what you are close enough to feel is his breath, soft on your collarbones. "And so my father retrieved the soul with a special spell and sent it into the future, to possess another at birth, and to lie in wait until I called for it."

You can't feel your – well, anything. There's a pressure on your chest, but you can't tell if that's your wildly beating heart or just his warmth skewing your senses. All you can do is stare up at him wide-eyed. He can't be telling the truth. Magic doesn't work like that, it can't work like that, that's a sick story and he's telling it like it's nothing more than normal. Possessing a newborn child. Sending souls into the future. It can't make sense. You almost feel bad for your past self – under the employ of someone so cruel as to take a soul from the afterlife for his own pleasure.

But he's standing before you. He's 4,000 years old, and he's standing in front of you, pushing you against his own coffin and trapping you there. Do you belong to him, then? Is that why you can't get him out of your head?

"When did your search begin?" He asks softly, a gentle curiosity evident in his brow.

"A – about a year ago," you say, your voice so broken and shaky you're surprised he understands it.

"Last winter?" He asks knowingly, almost sweet, like he's doting on you. Then comes the part that really makes it shine; he reaches up and pets your hair, moving in long, soft strokes.

You nod, unwilling to meet his gaze any longer. How red you must be by now.

"I called on you then. It took you a little while, but I'm glad you made it," he says, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "Unfortunately, I suppose you haven't retained any memories, since you didn't know my name."

"I guess not," you agree quietly. "I just have instincts."

"Instincts?"

You're reluctant to share with him the many instincts you'd had even in the short time from meeting him to now. The pure need to touch him. Past You probably had a crush on him, and even though you aren't really that person anymore, there's a need inside you to hide that fact from him. 

"I wanted to call you my King when I first saw you," you admit, your voice still quiet in hopes of him not understanding you.

"You won't have to call me that anymore. Maybe a tad around my parents, but when we're alone you may use my name."

"When we're... alone?" You question nervously, heart pounding at the thought of spending more time with him.

"You do work here, don't you?" He says with a sly grin. "I think I'll be seeing you quite a lot."

Oh.

Oh no.

Oh God.

If this is how you react just from spending five minutes with him, you can't imagine spending whole nights at his side. You'd explode. From what you don't know yet, but the pulsing rush in your heart is strong enough to worry you, and very rarely do you ever worry about yourself. The words in your head – your immediate reaction – simply won't pass. You can't bring yourself to say them, so you say what he wants to hear.

"As long as you want to."

[eframschweigersskincells]

So, Return to Hell was an absolute rollercoaster of emotions and I couldn't have asked for a better ending to the season three dlc missions.

SPOILER WARNING BY THE WAY!

Holy shit was this season a wild ride and with an absolute banger of an ending all I can say is well done rebellion you pulled it out the bag and held it high, I was so happy with everything and just my god its really hard to put down everything I'm so enthralled I can barely think straight.

I remember when the trailer dropped and I was so overcome with both excitement and sadness at seeing what the dlc entailed, I was so happy to see schweiger alive but devastated to see what was happening to him and originally I thought we were going to sacrifice him to help Umbra which terrified me, thank fuck I was wrong I dont think I could handle hurting my boy.

The intro was excellent, it really felt like distressing and that this was truly a moment of despair the way bruno spoke of it was absolutely amazing and I couldn't wait to get stick in. And when it finally gave way to the gameplay the opening area was absolutely stunning!

The way it's so familiar yet so foreign, like I'd seen it before but it had been so twisted that it was unrecognisable, lava around every corner and debris floating as if frozen in time the ground and walls cracked and crumbling and the fiery hues made this a fantastic yet haunting sight I hadn't even begun playing and I already fell in love with it.

When I finally moved on and the Baron began his tirade about the state of hell and how it was shaped and molded to fit the subconscious mind of schweiger I was shocked and saddened, to think that this was schweiger's fractured mind was frightening, all his guilt, fear, anger, confusion, sadness became reality and hell took its horrifying form filled with endless undead. I also found it really cool to see events play out from schweiger's perspective, meat locker, hell base and terror lab all playing out in schweiger's memories allowing us a glimpse in to everything that happened to him. He was betrayed so many times, I don't blame him at all for turning on us in deeper than hell, the amount of cruelty he suffered would drive anyone insane.

Being captured and forced to research the occult without any understanding of why, being tricked in to activating the relic allowing hitler to activate plan Z, working your hardest to try and make the world right then have your team infiltrated by nazi bastards who push you in to a hell tower and forcefully tear you from this plane of existence and left to rot in hell. Just when you think you can finally escape you're confronted with the fact you can not leave, only your closest comrades can leaving you in hell against everyone's will, then a voice manipulates you in to believing you were betrayed by your friends you're lied to and tricked in to believing this voice is your only friend who makes you do horrific rituals.

I remember how horrific I felt hearing this and then when Umbra revealed that he did all of this so he could break schweiger's will so he could steal his body I was filled with rage. Rebellion were amazing at putting emotion in to this one I genuinely went through constant emotional shifts realising that everything we had done up to this point was planned by Umbra and that everything we had done was only to fuel his plans. It was never schweiger's fault it was umbras and that knocked me on my arse.

The gameplay was a lot of fun, one of the best parts was that absolutely everything was randomised! The main sections of the map where always switched around no matter how many times you play it at first I went meat locker, hell base then terror lab then my second time I went hell base, terror lab then meat locker! I was shocked when everything cane out of order but it fits so well with everything! Schweiger's mind is so badly fractured that when hell took form as schweiger's subconscious not even hell itself could keep things in order.

I genuinely adore how the old familiar faces of these maps are destroyed, twisted and corrupted they are what we have seen before but warped till they look like different maps entirely, with so much more to explore in some areas it really gives you a sense of walking through broken memories like piecing together a memory Efram barely has a grip on anymore.

I loved how enemies were randomised too, getting attacked by a screamer around the corner then next time you go there prepared for a screamer you get blown up by suiciders or slaughtered by skeletons or an elite or in my favourite case being attacked by zombie alpha squad members! When zombie me jumped out and attacked I was so confused I didnt have time to respond when zombie jun popped out and killed me it was fucking awesome!

All our favourite enemy variations are here too, vampire creepers, electric suiciders, armored commanders, skeletons etc which really made for a really tough but good fight, never knowing what variation was coming to get you made everything even more fun.

And with the spitters now having a variant that spat magma it made what was usually an annoying inconvenience an actual proper threat and I love that so fucking much, maybe the spitters aren't so horrible after all.

That's a lie I still fucking hate them but oh well!

Once we successfully complete all three areas we now return to the main area with a very pissed off Umbra and schweiger who although conscious is barely alive. As soon as we arrive back to were we began we are immediately attacked and dragged off to an unknown place that we only know as the void as coined by Umbra.

Let me tell you when I say the void is creepy I fucking mean it, the void is of course pitch black you cant see anything not even your flash light does anything to the surrounding darkness, all you see when you spawn is the pitch black and eframs body of a slab surrounded by candles with Umbra looking over us and you really get the the sense of "holy shit, this is it!"

I genuinely adored the design of the void, the fact you only ever see your surroundings when a split second of bright red lighting strikes and even then you only see the faint outline of distant places, walking through the endless river of blood that stops you to a near snail's pace while fending of oncoming dead is genuinely spectacular! Holy fuck did rebellion pull it out the bag this round!

Just when you think you're about to have to do something to the incapacitated schweiger, Edie finally fucking shows up and does something useful for once, breaking schweiger out of his trance and giving him enough power to fend for himself when she realises Umbra has no defences! Thank fuck because now we know how to finally end The Baron and let me tell you I couldn't be happier to get the chance at killing the bastard.

The fights were challenging and had me cornered a few times and I'll admit I died a couple times but it was absolutely worth it, there was so much going on but it wasnt overbearing, with how large the areas you had to fight the hordes in were it made the fucking insane amounts of zombies absolutely balanced, I never felt like it was impossible but never felt it was too easy either just the right balance of insanity. And to make it even better I get to listen to schweiger shit talk the Baron as we help Efram regain strength while weakening Umbra.

Listening to Umbra beg and plead for mercy was great, it really felt like we were overpowering hell itself, no matter what Umbra threw our way it did absolutely nothing and listening to schweiger come to terms with what he's done and immediately work towards redemption by putting down Umbra was heartwarming. We were the winners not Umbra.

Then finally we get to what I've been wanting to do since the beginning of the DLC, after two whole hours I finally got to put an end to the Baron, activating that ending cutscene was so satisfying and I got to put down my controller and watch.

I'll admit I was confused when Umbea sprung back to life and actually attacked, where hitler failed to stop us during hell machine Umbra full pounced, he was going to take us with him and for a second I absolutely believed we were going to die with him, the fuck tries ripping our soul out rendering us absolutely useless. Its schweiger that saves us, pulling us away from Umbra then eviscerating the fuck out of him with ease and with that The Baron himself is dead, finally the tyrant is dead and everything we had worked towards was finally put to rest.

Just before that scene ends, we see schweiger smile! He's actually happy for once, free from Umbras grip, he's faced his fears and insecurities and in the end was the one who saved us and destroyed The Baron. To see him smile was one of the greatest things ever and I'm so glad we finally got to see that.

In last few moments of the ending, we wake up on the side of a cliff with Dr schweiger by our side and as the camera zooms out we see nothing but an endless sea of lava and I'm left thinking.

What the fuck is Projekt Ragnarok?

[megatraven]

i was thinking about some dr horrible songs again and it made me think of what happens in the musical so--- here’s this tragic alex x mc au loosely inspired by it ( @seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana idk if you’ve ever seen the musical but its REAL GOOD i highly recommend, tho u dont have to have seen it for this au at all-)

_____

AU where MC works against HERA and Olympus after the death of her mother.

She pushes Alex away early- not that she blamed them, but their mother.... the other gods.... it hurts too much to be around them, with divinity in their blood, too

She ends up connecting with monsters and a couple of titans, here and there. She plans with them, finds information in old files her mother left behind, that HERA never came to claim

The gods deserve to be taken down a notch, and MC wants to be the one who does it

Only, when she’s about 25, on the brink of something huge that could turn the tides in her favor, could give her the edge she needs to fight back....

She meets Alex again

They’re ecstatic to see her again, if a little cautious- they don’t want to hurt her by being around. they make it clear that they’ll leave if she tells them too.

And she wants to tell them to leave. It would be so much easier if she could forget that they existed. But she always had a sort of soft spot for Alex, and no matter how she wants to push them away again, she can’t bring herself to do it

Instead, she’ll smile and talk with them for awhile, catch up as much as they can, and then she’ll ask to see them again sometime

So they do

They meet up, again and again and again

MC falls for them all over, her childhood crush alive and well, and she thinks Alex might like her, too

But through it all, she still plans on bringing Olympus to its knees

She learns what’s in her blood, what could let her seize the day at last

Hera

The goddess’ power rests in her veins

She hasn’t been able to access it, though, without any window into the extent of the goddess’ aura

So she asks Alex about a ring, that her mother had worn when she was alive. Alex is surprised, but then they smile, and she feels a knife twist in her chest that she’s using them this way.

They tell her they have it- not on them, but in their office. it’s an artifact, but... it did belong to her mother, and artifacts are passed down in human bloodlines often enough.

The next time they meet, they’ll give it to her.

She smiles back and squeezes their hand, thanking them.

She’s been working far too long on her plans to stop now, even with the guilt.

She carries on

The ring comes into her possession, and with it, Hera's power dances at the ends of her fingertips

MC takes some time to learn it, to wield it properly, and goes so far as to spar with her titan and monster friends until she’s certain she can stand against the gods, too

The day comes, eventually, when she storms Olympus. By herself. she would never risk the lives of her friends, and she knows, deep down, her power is enough on its own

She wears battle armor gifted to her by her titan friends, and her hair is free and wild, no longer held up in the bun she always wore.

The anger and grief and anguish she’s kept in check for the last 10 years flows freely now, permeating the air around her alongside her golden aura

She marked the day, planned for it, triple checked the information she’d been building up, and she knows she’ll find all top tier gods in the throne room

So she busts in, and she doesn’t give the gods any time at all to adjust before she starts her attack, golden disks of aura and feathers sharp as steel hitting the gods and their Heroes.

The throne room is in chaos as some gods take cover, and others go on the attack

But she hits back hard, and they’re not prepared- she traps the gods each in a golden bubble, willing them not to crack before she’s finished 

Briefly, she spares a glance for Alex, and is relieved not to see them there. she even says it out loud.

“No sign of Alex. Good. I don’t want them to see this,” she murmurs, though no one quite responds.

Her power flashes.

The combined attacks of eleven gods against her aura is hard to contain, and her bubble prisons start to give way.

But human will has always been stronger than that of the gods, even if the gods themselves would never admit to it.

She pours all of herself into her shields, and it works- for a moment.

Alex starts to make their way out of their hiding spot- they dodged her attacks the moment she came storming in, and shock over their best friend, the woman they love, attacking their family kept them still.

They’re trying to figure out some way to get her to stop, without ruining their element of surprise if they need it, but everything is still moving as they work their way around behind her.

Zeus’ bubble breaks.

MC looks shocked- every other bubble holds, even when the gods assault them. She’s not sure what to do when Zeus’ own rage boils over and he throws a bolt of his own aura towards her.

It hits her in the chest and she sails back into the steps of the throne room, and it takes everything to keep the other bubbles up through the pain splitting her skull.

Zeus approaches her, and Alex watches from the background, afraid for MC, but unable to do anything

The king of gods grapples with her, pulling at her ring as she screeches at him and curses him in every way under the sun. She spits at him, claws at him as he tries tearing the ring from her finger- or her finger with it, if necessary.

In response, the bubbles break, but her power returns to her and lashes out, tearing the throne room apart. The closer Zeus gets to removing the ring, the more uncontrollable her aura is, hitting gods and Heroes alike.

She shouts from the bottom of her soul as the ring comes off completely, one last echo of its power bursting through the room and-

it hits Alex.

It hits Zeus, too, slams him back and knocks him unconscious, the ring falling back down in front of MC. She puts it back on and stands tall, the gods all struck silent, their king defeated.

She feels victory at her fingertips, knows she’s one. If she can defeat the king of gods, then no other can stand in her way. her power crackles around her. She feels proud for all of a minute, before she turns around

and sees them, laying on the ground, their chest sliced clean through, with one lingering feather of gold sticking out

she rushes to them, her victory forgotten, and falls to her knees by their side, grasping one of their hands to her heart

“Alex.... Oh, Alex, no, please,” she says, tears stinging at her eyes

Alex chokes out a cough, blood dribbling down their chin, their eyes unfocused. they look at her, but she can tell they’re not quite with her anymore.

They smile, still, and her heart skips a beat, as it always does when she sees them smile

“MC.... it’s okay,” they rasp out. “it’s okay....”

“No, Alex, come on, you’ll be okay, just- just hang on. For me, please... hang on...”

Alex takes a rattling breath and MC’s tears flow freely, dripping down her chin and onto their face. They blink, sluggish, a little confused.

Again, they say,

“It’s okay, MC... the gods will save us.” 

Their last breath leaves them, their eyes still wide open, unseeing.

The world seems to lose its color, and for just a moment, MC mourns them, sobbing over their body.

The gods, the gods... what cruel last words. But she couldn’t blame Alex for saying them. 

She could, however, blame the gods for what happened. First her mother, and now Alex- the gods didn’t care what happened to those under them. Not Hades, who did nothing to save her mother. Not Aphrodite, who always placed unfair burdens on the shoulders of her children- one child in particular. And definitely not Zeus, who threw caution to the wind in their fight, despite the lashing out of power. Who made her aura strike out at everything. Who made her aura kill Alex.

When she’s cried all that she had left, she sets them down, with all the care she can. A darkness hangs over her now, one that she’d only kept at bay knowing Alex was on the side of the gods.

She stands, and with nothing left to hold her back-

Olympus falls.

She wins.

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG //CHAPTER 20

i mispelt the title as ‘oofal hunt’ which, i mean, mood,

IN THIS EPISODE OF DEPRESSION TO THE MAX:

"Fuck you."

THAT’S IT. THAT’S-- THERE’S THE CHAPTER.

/looks at the chosen lyrics for this chap :hrm:

do i still have to a little introduction to this liveblog? twenty chapters in? methinks not so lets just get right Tew It shall we

“We’re here, Ms. Fall.”

/marks this next section down on the tally of cinder’s mistakes. we’re somewhere in the high thousands.

An old Dust extraction point, quietly rotting. Cinder’s mouth pulled. There was an abysmal dearth of kindling.

cinder: you know you could at least take me somewhere better suited for me to kick your ass. this is VERY rude. am NOT a fan. my yelp review will NOT be kind.

i love cinder counting up the numbers. you know honestly id be deeply charmed if someone saw it fit to bring half an army out to take me on. i mean, would it be a pain in my ass? yes. but also. awh. thanks lads! love how many of you blocked out this evening just for me x

"Sienna Khan!" Cinder could barely hear herself between the claws of that strange laughter. "Sienna Khan! It’s really—really—you!"

uh-oh sisters,

oh man sienna and cinder is just. look. WOOF. theres a lot here. a lot going on. a lot that HAD gone on. but also im gay so this tension is peak for me PLEASE lay it on thick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LETS GO!

Cinder stopped laughing.

"Overkill," she repeated, and in the same breath, crossed the tarmac in full immolation.

HELL YEAH BABEY. but also was the more the implication that cinder is an easy kill OR the implication that glynda’s the bigger threat that’s more annoying,,,,,,,,,,,,, well!!!!!!!! too late to find out now!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They clashed: once, twice, three times, steel on Aura, flitting through space, but—he wasn't faster than Glynda.

wait it’s the former i forgot cinder’s gay nvm

“Cinder. I mean it. I want to talk.” Sienna’s face revealed nothing. Her gaze stayed fixed on Cinder, as if she were searching for something.

What it could be, Cinder had her guesses, and all of them repulsed her utterly. She spat, “Well, I was only planning on sending your Lieutenant’s head to you in a box signed Love Cinder, so I didn’t really come with a speech prepared.”

SDHJGHJGSKFD SORRY IM LIKE. tryna liveblog but im also just :EYES: at everything here.......... im SO PUMPED for this cause im just SO CURIOUS,,,,,, WE’VE HAD SO MANY SNIPPETS,,,,,,,,, BUT IM HONGRY FOR MORE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

that said i feel like cinder’s the type of person who revisits arguments in her head hours later with new, better points, so i think she does have a speech prepared. in fact i think she has many words stored up in the ol’ meatspace, and all of them are very rude,

The Sienna Khan that Cinder remembered still had baby-fat in her cheeks and hadn’t learned to keep her thoughts off her face. The one she saw now had weaponized distance.

/stage whisper hang on that visual is cute dont put it in HERE where the TENSION IS

Quietly, Sienna went for her belt, pulling away something the same polished silver as her whip. It might have been an arrow tip, except that it was lethally barbed and looked like it had been modified to chamber Dust. Pale blue glinted within it.

Cinder darkened. "Ice Dust?"

sienna: i wanna talk sienna: with violence!

GOD ITS REAL INTERESTING CAUSE,,,,,,,,,, THERE’S A LOT HAPPENING HERE. glynda didnt Know cinder in any sense so we’ve very much been on the ‘let’s figure cinder out with glynda’ train like the whole. the rain! and the desert! etc! all very much thru the lens of glynda ‘i dont remember shit’ goodwitch! so now we have seinna who Knows Shit cause there’s so much history here and im like blease wait talk more first i want the KNOWLEDGE

[...] "Roman Torchwick is holed up in Vytal with your warehouses, and those two teens haven’t been sighted in months... But you wouldn't send them that far north, would you?”

“I wouldn’t send them anywhere you could get your claws in them.”

“The White Fang isn’t like that anymore. We don’t strong-arm children into our ranks. That girl—the snake Faunus—”

“If you say one more word about her,” Cinder said. “I’m going to do something drastic to every single person here.”

ACTUALLY TALK LESS TALK LESS LETS FIGHT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!! AND NOT TALK!!!!!!!! A T A L L

Sienna's shoulders leveled. "This is not Hróðvitnir's White Fang anymore."

me: huh why do i recognise that name,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, me: oh yeah!!!!!!! that bitch,

HJGDSJKHGFDS we Love a homage to a classic au and to a cinder so good that id die for her. i mean id die for this cinder too but like that was another level of Die For. anyway. back to the au at hand,

“If I didn’t know better, I might believe you," Cinder snapped, and her old scars throbbed in tandem. “But I do know better. I found one of your parasites, sucking the life out of a town near the wastes. Bringing the White Fang’s protection. You should have seen how he protected them. There wasn't a child there without a fang or an antler missing."

hang on a sec, lets LEAP BACK in time for just a moment

okay so i nipped back to chapter five for just a hot second to see if there was a line that was particular pertinent, but also i found smthng else...

Violence collected at her twitching fingers, old scars across her body flaring with phantom pain. (Chapter 5)

“If I didn’t know better, I might believe you," Cinder snapped, and her old scars throbbed in tandem. (Chapter 20)

HM,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, man. cinder. you got real fucked up huh. ANYWAY THAT WASNT WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR I JUST LINED THE CONTINUITY (because im jealous). what i was ACTUALLY looking for was THIS:

There would be another overseer, the inhabitants would resume their harried lives, and Cinder wouldn’t spare this town a second thought.

i said at the time in an emotional fit of pain that this was a straight-up lie but cinder is nothing if not a melting pot of emotional reckoning, and I WAS RIGHT. LET IT BE INSCRIBED UNTO THE STONES!!!! SHE DID SPARE IT A SECOND THOUGHT!!!!!!!! HELD IN HER MIND LONG ENOUGH TO RECALL THE DETAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST 2 SPIT IT IN SIENNA’S FACE!!!!!!!!! im telling you that cinder has SO MUCH MORE GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!! and heres my PROOF. PROOF OF WHY SHES AN ANGEL (ONLY ON TUESDAYS THOUGH [10AM-1PM])!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then: "Why don't you say," Sienna responded slowly, her expression slotting into place like a bullet chambering, "precisely what you mean, Cinder."

"Fuck you."

:’3c

cinder has such a way with words. i love her eloquence. remember that time glynda thought she was taking the piss out of the fact she was autistic at dinner? cinder yr a maestro. never change.

“You brought Beowolves to heel. You could turn a Goliath with a word!"

“I had—no—Aura! Nothing to protect me!”

:eyes: :thinking:

HM,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, INTERESTING??????? i feel like this is the first time we’ve heard of cinder w/o aura implicitly? unless im Stupit and dont remember a Got Dang Thing but HUH. does this. hm. huh. am i stupid. someone tell me if i missed a thing.

“This isn’t a diplomatic mission, Cinder. I simply wanted to know what their lives were worth to you—before we wipe our hands of each other for good.”

“That’s a funny way of saying only one of us is walking away from this.”

GOD,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i LOVE this scene a lot the interplay between sienna and cinder is absolutely PEAK,,,,,,,, PEAQUE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, im rly enjoying this. also im dying. but im enjoy it a LOT.

“The White Fang you and I grew up in doesn't exist anymore. We’re changing. But you… When did you stop caring? Was it when you cut your horns to be one of them instead?"

Dragonfire scorched Cinder's lungs, blackening every word: "I was never—your—people."

feels like its been a good goddamn whilst since i got to do one of these 👈😎👈, so let’s savour the moment

👈👈👈👈👈👈😎👈👈👈👈👈👈

aaaaaand savoured. lets continue.

Shaking with the effort of holding her strike, Sienna grit, "I won't relish this."

And Cinder howled, "I will!”

ah shit i shouldve said lets RELISH this to tie the whole theme together and-- and fuck it, combat scene. never good at liveblogging these. sdfjhgsdfghj

Gunfire sparked against her, but she honed in on him with single-minded intent, the kind she’d whetted to a razor’s edge against Glynda.

for a chapter following cinder escaping glynda, she’s thought about her TWICE now. huh. huh. interesting. gay. and interesting,,,,,,

It was nothing like fighting Glynda. This was bleak and repetitive: the second drove forward and Sienna covered his openings, stopping Cinder before she could rip his heart from his chest, and all the while, the gunfire whittled away at her Aura. It was a joyless tactic, no flair or heart, and yet—

HUH. GAY AND INTERESTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO FLAIR OR HEART,,,,,,,,,, i cant believe every time they fought cinder was actually just doing a shit job of flirting. the more you know.

The world erupted into flames. They grew massive, swirling around her like a hurricane—Cinder’s Aura exploded outward in desperation, like a dying star defiantly spending the last of itself on a supernova; one final flare, brighter than entire galaxies, if only for a single moment. Cinder felt flashes of bright pain through her muscles as if the fire was burning her from inside.

MAN,,,,,,,,,,,,, I COULD TALK ABT SOME UH,,,,,,,,,,,,, well. i could talk abt a few things here. but theyre kinda 👈😎👈 so i WONT,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but kno that i am having some Thoughts on the matter. hm.

“Prove it!” Death was thrumming in her veins. It had never made her brave before. It did now, the memory of Glynda’s blind, resolute stare heady in her skull. “Come and prove it! Do it, or I’ll hunt you to your last, miserable breath, Sienna!”

so remember when glynda had her little outburst at winter and i said that i love how cinder rubbed off on glynda in the worst way? i cant believe glynda ALSO rubbed off on cinder ALSO in the WORST WAY!!!! this is how u know this truly is a soulmates thing.

“It’s a shame you outgrew your swords, Cinder Fall. I would have taken them as a trophy,”

it’s with great disappointment that i must say: i agree with adam. the swords were hot. they should come back.

Sienna’s footsteps were whispers at Cinder’s back. The trap was closing. Cinder pooled flame in one palm. The other hand was useless, limp at her side. Impotent rage tasted like blood in her mouth. “I don’t even remember your fucking name.”

HJGKDSFKJHGFSDJDHGF GOD IM SORRY BUT THIS MADE ME LAUGH. WHAT A LINE. WHAT A LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i may actually have to draw this scene that image is SO wonderful. just cinder, staggering, exhausted, and she still manages to just spit that out. im screaming. shes a champion. i think she won this battle literally just there pack it up her burns come in more flavours than one.

Beneath Cinder, Hati turned, scanning for an escape, but she didn’t drop Sienna’s gaze. Wiping the sweat from her brow, she said, “I’m told I’m something of a menace.”

firstly: AAAAAAAAA HATI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BABY BOY OH NO THATS NO GOOD BAD TIMES AWFUL FEELS MY GUY!!!!!!!!!!!! secondly: CINDER THESE ZINGERS ARE UNREAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JESUS CHRIST. I KNEW YOU LIED WHEN YOU DIDNT HAVE A SPEECH HOW MUCH MATERIAL HAVE YOU GOT IN THERE?????????

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

WAIT WHAT HANG ON

WHAT

WAIT

W H AT

okay wait hold on lets dial back i read ahead and dint live blog wait rthereghsdfgjhdffd HOLD ON

Cinder buried her face in Hati’s mane, hating them, hating, hating, hating. Black ichor clotted in Hati’s fur, tacky against her palms. Grimm didn’t have Auras to protect them, and exit wounds riddled Hati’s mighty body. Cinder’s heart lurched with fury. She could have screamed.

i read this bit and got STRESSED because hati is PEAK like hati didnt even fucking SHOW UP in og but i LOVE HIM and i knew shit would happen because its fucking offal hunt BUT

It should have been impossible at this distance, but Cinder could feel her gaze like traded blows, even nestled among the black of Hati’s pelt.

Sienna’s eyes shone like coins. They were cool, detached. Prepared.

She twisted her wrist and the whip flickered through the air in tight wheels. Its end glittered pale blue.

UH OH

Adrenaline cooled to permafrost in Cinder’s body, as though the Dust had already found its home between her ribs.

Cinder whispered, “Don’t.”

UH OH

Expressionless, Sienna gave a wide lash, and the jagged end of her whip released with a click. Silver sliced through the air, then through feathers and fur, with a sickening sound—wet and meaty as the arrowhead dagger buried itself deep into flesh. Hati’s whole body shuddered and Cinder only had a moment more before ice exploded from his ribs, ripping out through his pelt, even slicing into Cinder’s own skin. It speared him from deep inside, where the cartridge had sunk, impaling everything and rending him asunder.

JESUS JESUS CHRIST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

JESUS CHRIST WHAT A VISCERAL DEATH SCENE HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! O H N O T H A T S A N O G O O D V E R Y B A D T I M E

Cinder’s stomach jumped into her throat, and she held on tight to Hati, her bastion, her sanctuary, her family—held on tight like it would make any difference at all—like she could hold her family together with just her own two hands.

Hati dissolved right between her fingertips, and she plummeted alone.

like she could hold her family together with just her own two hands

OUGH what the FUCK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HEY THIS. HEY THIS SUCKED HEY THIS WAS A BAD CHAPTER WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS HATI!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS MY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! GO TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EXCUSE ME????????? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?????????? HELLO??????????? WHAT THE FUCK????????? SIENNA???????? BITCH?????????? GO TO H E L L

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[kosmicdream]

hey!!! i just read to the most recent update of ffak (my favorite webcomic ive ever read tbh) and i kinda wanna try making my own. did you have the whole story planned out before you started or is it an ongoing thing? also how did you make the website for it? thank you for making such a cool comic!

Thank you so much!! And let me try to figure out a way to answer this properly. My process is a bit complicated to explain because it is very organic. Its almost like I am never done writing it, because I am always letting it grow/stretch and explore as I think about ffak every day, and every night before sleeping I’ll try to brainstorm things I havent thought of. So spending that much mental energy on something, you never really get ‘done’ with writing a story. Even when i eventually finish ffak, im sure i will be still working on it (or things I would have wanted to do.)

However!! Before i started working on ffak, when it was just called HELP! i established many things narratively that I stuck to and have not changed about the story. So I think the process of this comic, in a simple way, could have been broken down like this in.. stages?

1) I laid down the basic framework of the world, such as the functions of king worms specifically, the aiguille family, helpers, several characters (some havent even appeared in the comic yet!), king leadman, as well as antony/rome’s narrative arc/dynamic. that way their character arc was already figured out before the comic started and I knew it would be the central ‘root’ of the story. I knew how i wanted Rome to be introduced, and how he would meet canary, not knowing the connection between canary and his brother. I had a rough idea, even from here, how their character arc would come to a point (and basically what sorts of things the story would likely eventually close on) I also knew the general setting was on moons and how the humans got there, and how advanced society was, and what the red lights “really" were and what they meant..i figured out what ‘vein’ was here.. ect.. many worldbuilding things!!!It might sound intimidating, but this process happened very quickly. I basically figured this out in the.. day? before i started working. I have had a lot of experience with roleplaying so i think that helps with me making quick decisions. I knew i had enough to work with that I didn’t feel intimidated to start actually drawing it out-- especially because i had the rome/antony thing already set down. 2) Then when I actually started to work, things started to develop very quickly. I knew basically all i needed to for Hekatons before i got to introduce knife (their origins, history, involvement in present day politics) and before ch6 i also wrote all of the “supporting cast” (at the time) which included dylan, fork/spoon/knife, paper/scissor/rock. So i ws able to write Thumb and Heel, and set up the overall dynamic of what the world was like in the present day. (also Spoon/Scissor’s connection.) Cash was actually written in the first batch of characters oops, but her design really became more detailed during this stage because of scissor. 3) then things got more complicated as i dug deeper into the past, and wanted to include crimson. So!! I fleshed out the origin and true history of this world. basically as soon as crimson appeared I had everything in place and felt comfortable enough to include crimson, who borrowed many things narratively from a character i roleplayed for years. Anyway, i figured out all of the deep past of the world and decided to draw it out since it was so interesting in ch 9/10. I think this was around in the 2nd chapter when i figured this out, but my memory is fuzzy. I know by the time i did the flash forward scene in ch2 i had decided many things and so all i had to do was get to them in the comic to cement it in. 4) I forget when exactly (maybe around in chapter 5 or 6) , but i decided to bring in a very old story i wrote in 2009 for good leadman’s origin story-- as i thought it would be cool to make good leadman the protagonist for this old comic i wanted to do, and that helped make the background for heel and thumb more “believable” to me because they were already symbolizing this old story i had written the entire thing of. Oh that’s something else to mention, because that world was part of a collection of stories- i was able to develop DMTIA that way because i already had this cast and just decided to merge the stories into the FFAK setting. I think when i did this, it pretty much was the final big thing to make me understand everything i needed to know about this world. All the story arcs felt pretty realized and I could see how the ending could go at this point.

I guess to summarize, is that i let things grow but also had things planned from the start and once i commit to an idea, it doesnt change. Even if it might appear somewhat frustrating to work with, i like to use them to make my next decision. sometimes that means i dont get to do all i want to do, but i still have a lot of flexibility in this setting like i wanted to have from the beginning.

Even now when i feel like pretty confident that I’ve explored every nook and cranny, I’ll decide to revisit a older storyline or facet of the world and strengthen or build on that. That’s why i ended up with so many fucking side characters because I’ll brainstorm for them for a day or two and suddenly have a lot of material i know wont even “technically” go into the story even though its there. (like, Spot for example was not meant to be so interesting, but i wrote a huge fucking story for him that obviously wont get really any attention.)

So.. its ongoing and it is also not ongoing and hasnt been for quite a long time now? (after two years of constant work it felt.. really complete and done in a lot of ways. we are now currently on year three, moving to year four!) I think the best thing to do is to keep in mind what kinds of methods for writing make you feel comfortable and is your natural brain-pace. I like working with an aspect of fluidity and room for growth and flexibility because i don’t like being boxed in or “outgrowing” my project too fast. So keeping that in mind, i designed ffak to be a comic where it could grow with me and change. that’s pretty much why i decided worms would be a great subject and theme to work with because they are characters that naturally, evolve and change based on what they eat and absorb. plus the themes in ffak just are so fun to work with i will never be bored of it. structuring a project with these things in mind for when i run into walls or feel unmotivated have kept me engaged. I think that is part of why i cannot let it go because I still feel really excited to write and contribute ideas to it.

However, Chapter 12 really feels like I’m settling back down to my original plans and taking my time and patience to communicating all the structured planning ive put into it. I’m not letting it grow the same way anymore because it doesnt need to. I feel comfortable with understanding its voice/style and pacing and im no longer recovering from the uhh.. shock of it existing? I promise that once you actually start making a comic, its a wholly different experience than just it being in your head. and it will sound, look, and feel different than what you thought it would be-- that in itself has influenced a lot of change in ffak because honestly at first i was not expecting to draw it so explicit. that was difficult to get used to but im happy to have embraced that aspect of my work.

So HMM.. I made a strong spine or foundational backbone in the beginning before i started, then fleshed it out as i was in the process of making it, and i always continue to leave room for it to grow. just not grow in EVERY aspect anymore. i also dont chop down branches, but i try to hone in on specific things to make them more clear. i think chopping stuff down and removing things is generally not the best to do because its easier to build up and work with what you have than make big retcons after youve already started or established. also the challenge of working with limitations makes you feel that needed bit of pressure to really commit to your work in the moment of making it and i feel like its helped make me more serious and confident about what i write about. I never feel lost on what to do because if I cover and figure out something, that’s how it is. I make it work regardless! 

everything is done with careful consciousness to the overall balance and product of the story, while also not suffocating it in a box of limitations of what it could be. i treat it like a living thing in my mind and heart and that means i work to have thoughtful conversations with it and myself about what its needs are, what my needs are, what i want to do with it and what it wants to be.. ect. its almost a spiritual thing really. i feel like its important to always reflect and engage with your art and art process to feel a stronger connection and purpose behind what you are deciding to do and what it means to you. i am probably repeating myself a little here but!!!!!! its worth saying!!!!!!!!! 

I also really think it adds to the interesting and fun “layers” to the story, as there has been different stages to its development and it brings in different feelings with each layer. But then the older or more ‘’foundational’’ ones pop in and they seem to give off a different atmosphere (antony and rome) vrs some of the newer additions (like jacket) who are more for shallow, fun decoration or an interesting potential to explore in the future. Like, Jacket is not a character that has a lot of foundational plot connected to him, but he’s an interesting development in terms of the potential of a worm and symbolizes that early-ffak-mindset of growth and experimentation. so i think it makes him a really unique and fun character because he embodies a lot of new and old aspects of ffak’s narrative and my journey with working on the comic.

I could go on and on, but I hope this sort of gives some insight to my process and how I write/work. because in a lot of ways, it isn’t linear. just like how my comic is! sometimes this makes ffak very disorienting for people to read, but if you keep in mind that ffak is very organic and personally tailored to my mannerisms  and with that in mind, it makes a lot more sense why it is how it is and the patterns in it become much more apparent. Anyway! thank you for reading and good luck working on your own stories! it can be challenging but i think it is absolutely worth the effort. 

Also i did not make the website, my good friend Tegan did. :3 i do not know anything about websites.

[we-wandering]

Starcity

Chapter 1 over the mountain over the hill and welcome to star city

Welcome to star city. The most advanced place in the galaxy. Earn coins, and participate in challenges. I am GAME, and here I keep the balance. I am not a being but I am starcity. We are the future tech. Everything u dream of in the future is here in stacity. 

Incuriso.

I walk down the road. The street light flickers on and off, where I live. My run down apartment is the only building left from the olden city, celestial city. Some wish to destroy it, but even if my status is low, it is my property. I lie down as I pick up my knife, whittling out a machine from scrap metal that I own.

Delta.

Today I am on the top of the list. “YES! NUMBER ONE”. Top shrade in the world. Oh and if u dont know, a shrade is a participant in the games. Got more than 1 million coins in my bank. Top citizen. I wear glasses, and if you ask my age, there are none in star city, only levels. Mine is 1051. I'm the second most famous person in the world, only to lord game. I AM DELTA.

 CHAPTER 2 MYSTERIES OF GAME 

Incuriso

As I reach the end of the corner there is a big bright screen everywhere. However today is different. All the screens around me usually show games but now there is an ad. GAME, is choosing his right hand man. People are always happy here. There are no problems. Everything is perfect except for me. I’m the odd one out. And that’s going to earn me victory.

Delta.

I see the sign the GAME is choosing his partner. Hm. I'm usually pretty modest but it's gotta be me. I mean c'mon I'm the best shrade. Gotta be chosen right?

Incuriso

My name is incuriso. I am different. I am well known in a bad way. I am a mechanic, but not for good use. I’m a virtual mechanic. A hacker. 

Delta.

Whew, my team (Delta airlines) JUST FLYIN AWAY WITH 700 wins IN ONE DAY! LIFe is great for me. I see my total coins fly up to 7billion.I mean what could I wish for more besides that seat with GAME. No ones ever seen him or even if he is a him. He is a it. He is all.

Chapter 3 TIME TO PLAY

Delta.

Today is the day of the battle, the day of the chosen. The day I have been training to never let my family, my friends and my city down. This is the day that I beat the world. The FORGE is the game of choice from Game himself, we all then spawn in. I check my chest to see that there is a magic artifact already. The grades of weapons are Ordinary, Strengthened, Magic Artifact, Prized Artifact, Sacred Artifact and a special weapon in the center of the arena which is no artifact nor weapon, it is a hammer that allows you to forge weapons yourself. I studied up on this and don’t plan on losing. I charge at the nearest contestant and stab him with the magic artifact, a lance at the stage of a tier 2 artifact, dealing -80 points of damage. Each person starts with 100hp, so this was a powerful attack. He counters with his ordinary sheild. Pathetic. I finish him off and go to the center where I see someone else, their name is apparently Bathtub. They possess a Sacred artifact? I frown as I slide under the forging table and slice her legs. A -60 damage as a crit? I feel a tingle down my spine as I see the tier of this weapon is 8 in the sacred artifact realm. 9 realms to ordinary, 9 to strengthened, 9 to magic, 9 to prized and 9 to sacred. Only 1 tier away from being the strongest weapon in the arena, but I grin as I stab her chest, dealing a normal hit of -39. She then laughs as she hits me but I block with the shield I looted earlier, dealing a -98 to me. 98!!! Out of 100!!! A 2hp vs a 1hp battle, whoever can hit first. I charge and throw my lance, dealing the remaining -43 that I need. The rest of the battle is easy once I reap the lives of the others, only wielding strengthened or magic artifacts. I am about to win this contest… Time to make the donuts… 

CHAPTER 4 Time to dance

Incuriso

I hear the GREAT O GAME. Is calling his partner Shulk. “ Whatever I think not like I care”. I am hacking into the newest challenge. The championship challenge. I hop on in right as Delta kills the last person, but using a specific command, I teleport behind him, and using my infamous commanders blade that I bought with a rich mans talisman that I found on the street, I stab Delta. A -9001 appears on his head as he falls over. Over 9000, just how I coded it.

Delta

“WHAT GOING ON I SHOUT” Suddenly I get the U LOSE SCREEN. “WHAT?” I am so confused. So is everyone else. Then I see a person donning a black cloak, weilding a small blade. “NO” I think. “NONONONONONO” It was Incuriso, the poor man, the weakling, the hacker, the beast and the outlaw.

Chapter 5 SHULK.

Incuriso

I LAUGH UNTIL I CRY, As I see Delta's face turn red to purple to a strange shade of green. But I stop when the game makes an announcement. Our winner to be Shulk is now Incuriso. My face freezes. WHat did he say? WHAT THE HECK DID GAME JUST SAY? I ponder as I realize, this contest is for all thy marbles. My new assistant, Game announces, is Qwert. I grin evily as I shout, OH QWEEERRRRTTTTTYYYYYY...

Qwert

I am a literal person who just likes to do stuff. I don’t have a job, I just get money from the bank. I have no idea how but I'm just a normal person , as I am carrying 20 laptops to my office, my master yells...QWERT….I drop the box shattering the laptops and rush towards my masters room. As I see what is happening my eyes widen. Incuriso is now GAMES first in command.

SHULK

My name is now Shulk. GAME has chosen it. I cannot resist. Suddenly a light flashes before me. All of a sudden I am no longer in my home. I am somewhere I dont know. I find myself on the ground of a digital world. This place feels infested with energy. Everywhere I feel a small static on my feet. “Where am I?” Suddenly I hear a voice. “Welcome incursio”. Suddenly out of nowhere, a door opens revealing a very bright light. I squint covering my face with my arm. Suddenly I see a silhouette. Is this game I think?.

Game

I see incursio. He is still in his black cloak. He cannot see me. I am not human but everything. I tell him “U are chosen”. “U will be my second in command to help the citizens”. He responded with an astonishing loud shout “WHY ME!!!!???”. I think “ Jesus just go with it man u know ur smart”. But instead I say “because u are intelligent and u are not like normal human beings”.

Shulk

Yeah right I’m intelligent. You chose me because I hacked into the contest and won in the end. Do you think I’m stupid? I then see a table of materials in front of me as game tells me to make something. I don’t know what it is, just a bunch of noise, so I use the materials to make a lightweight mechanical arm. A simple build, really, but Game’s eyes flash as he nods. Good job, he says, as his presence disappears.

CHapter 6 PANDA PANDA PANDA WHAT?!

Qwert

WHAT??? I see incursio flash out of existence before my eyes. “Awhat now” I say aloud. What just happened. A panda suddenly jumps right into me and suddenly vanishes. I AM SOOO CONFUSED? “What what what what” i say this alone. Then everything goes black.

Qwert

I woke up not where I was before. Something in me does not feel good. “AAAUGGG” I scream until I see a face. It's not Incuriso. It's a panda. I somehow know it's a he.  Confused, I focus on him. He is blue and a bit transparent. However he does look like a normal panda. He stares at me for one second and vanishes. I am left alone again.

Chapter 7: A new Beginning Shulk: I start up a new store, though my mechanic skills are good, I have always wanted to be a forger. I have made countless machines, but they don’t symbolize anything for anyone. Now that I had the riches to do so, I started up a forging station in the center of the town, calling it the Ancient Anvil.

Game: Looking into Shulks background, I see he was poor and a sad fellow. He may have cheated in this contest, but in the end, he is the chosen one. I would have chosen delta, but the calling from the spirits of my mind told me something. 

Delta: WHAT IS HAPPENING WHAT IS HAPPENING GET THE VOICES OUT MY HEAD WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU HERE PLEASE JUST GO AW- and I felt that the race was unfair. Though I didn’t win and might not have won, I feel that -SLAY HIM AND HIS GANG OF CHEATERS, DINE ON HIS BLOOD AND -out of the -AHHHHHH -what is that noise? My head was splitting apart when I heard this. There was another voice. A voice telling me to destroy starcity. I scream and spit blood out. Gasping for air I hear the voice commanding me to destroy it. “DESTROY IT, DESTROY IT” the voice taunted. I could not taken anymore. My hands were on my head. Then I fainted on the ground. Chapter 8: The era of peace

Game: I have recruited some other helpers to run the city, and things seem to be going well. Shulk has created a forging station, I hired both a doctor for this city named bathtub and an assistant to help run my own shop, the orben. Shulk then later offered to help me run the orben as well, he seemed pretty eager to do so…

Shulk: I saw the orben one day and noticed, this is quite powerful. Some of my old habits came back as I offered to take the assistant job for the orben. I powered up the machine and hacked into its database, ruining the motherboard and connecting the power source to a different machine when I realized that this man had put his trust into me, I shouldn’t do this. I was changing.

Bathtub: I’m a doctor, and my medicine is ice cream. I like ducks and ice cream, but I saw that Shulk was making a weird machine so I walked over. He suddenly stood up and threw a wrench down, destroying the machine. It was a terrifying sight, not because he threw the wrench, but because of the green explosion that followed. Chapter 9: The darkness that descends

Game: I have invited delta to join our sect, and though he seems a bit out of it, I feel that this is only fair since Shulk did cheat to win. He will be placed 3rd in command, only to Shulk and myself. This should help him calm down a bit.

Shulk: Game has invited Delta to join us, but I feel that this is not good for me. I will for sure be taken as a traitor in his mind, he uses his power to stop me, kill me and destroy me. Though this worries me, I sneer in my head, wanting him to do something for I will end him if he tries.

Delta: Game is inviting me? Does he not fear that I will kill his precious Shulk? My mind is now full of memories from the past, for I can see the relationship between the two, the blood and souls that connect them. The dynamic duo that is seen as Hero and Sidekick, but I will destroy this now. The power I possess is enough to blow up many worlds and realms. It is almost time.

Chapter 10 Continuing

Incuiso/SHULK

Everyone's day is the same as SHULK. Taking care of citizens, making sure there is order, and attending meetings. I do wish I was back to my old life. After, what it seemed like a million presentations and meetings, I finally get back to the apartment and call Qwert. This time, I don't hear footsteps. I do not see his red jacket. I see nothing. “Qwert?” I call out “If this is a joke it's NOT funny” That's when I see a panda.

Delta

During the meeting, I cloned myself and was able to get around unnoticed planting plasma explosions. I was not supervised and was alone. I kept my dark hood over my head so no one could see me. However these bombs were not just the biggest part of my plan. I was changing. I was making an army.

CHapter 11Turning different

Delta

After the “SHULKCADENT” SHULK INCIDENT as they call it. Life went on. The person who took my 100th grand final win is in second power. WHY! I don’t know because GAME is a jerk. That's when I decided to kidnap qwerty

Qwert

Suddenly I see Delta. DELTA??!!!. Why would he be here. I try to get up but then I see I am chained to the ground. I see the triangle sign. Of course. That's when I see that the great Delta is different. His glasses are off. His eyes are purple and he has robot parts on him I have never seen before. “Uh hi!” I says nervously. He just walks past me like i am not even there. “Hey uh could u take me off these chains and uh get me a snack?”He glares at me. “Well ok then” I think. “ Ill just stay here uh ok he he” I feel a drop of sweat trickle down my face. He fades out of view. Then I developed a stutter. 

Delta: As I watch from the sunset of a great tower I start to think. I have never dreamed of, but as I make myself stronger with magic and technology, I develop an army. A dark spirit army, forged by black goo they are almost impossible to destroy. I chuckle darkly, telling myself that someday Game will be under my control. 

Shulk

Confused, I stare. I no longer wear a black robe but now a black windbreaker, blending in with the normal citizens I do not like to be noticed. As the panda vanishes I feel a sense of panic. Who would do such a thing to qwert. 

Chapter 12 The fall

Qwert

I hear an explosion. “W-was that a bomb?” Another one again.” What was th-that?!” I see Delta watch from a big glass wall. Standing straight with his hands behind his back. Hearing his metal fingers click together, I suddenly hear several explosions. I struggle trying to be free from these chains but suddenly, Delta comes at me and grabs something. In an instant my life escapes before my eyes. I feel a seering pain in my chest. A cold metal object sliding into me. It hurts. I glance down seeing red liquid pouring down. It was a moment, an instant, Then my heart stopped. 

Game

I feel a disturbance. Something chaotic. Something dangerous. I press the button to call for shulk but as I do, I notice something is very, very wrong. The button was a trap.

Shulk

I run seeing Starcity explode before my very eyes. I run. My heart pounds against my chest. My arms fly over my head. BOOM. Another explosion. I see people scream and run. Rocks and smoke fly. I have no time to help others. I am focused on my survival. I hear cars screech. Police shouting. Several more explosions. Suddenly I pull out a device in my pocket and I become transparent. The small pebbles hitting me no longer hurt. Everything flies through me. TV screens with ads fall down, houses and buildings fall. This IS A NIGHTMARE. I see are forces of robots are barely enough to stop the darklings. Starcity will fall. I pull out my blade and roar, charging into the enemy forces. I slash, firing powerful spells. My body is with rage as I run through the darklings slashing them to bits. As I get through every single one of them, they reform. I feel a sense of panic I have never felt before. My body is full of fear. I hear my heart pumping, and for a split second I freeze. I never freeze in battle. Realizing what I have doneI jump into a void portal teleporting me to the highest building.

Chapter 13 A game for GAME

Game

I focus hard and I search through citizens. My spirit weaving through the crowd running until I reach the last building. Delta is standing there. I can sense his darkness. He must know I am here and says “ you may call me the undertaker. He says with a bow and jumps out of the window, landing on his feet. I growl as I shoot my primary energy at him, but he dispells it and laughs. Time to say goodbye, he chuckles.

Shulk

As much as I hate starcity, I loved messing with it and tricking the people. Too bad that the whole place is blowin up. Suddenly, I see Delta. Is he responsible for this? Seems like this. Even though I might not like starcity I see Game as the great Leader and honor him. I have changed. Suddenly Game somehow gives me the thought to give me the proof Delta did this. Then I realize this is all my fault. I am the one who ruined Delta by hacking.  feel a pain as I see starcity fall, but I fall as I see Delta throw a knife in the air. It stops and falls like it hits someone. Then I feel GAME no longer. The link formed as we ruled together had grown from allies to friends, but this feeling was gone. HE is dead. It's over.

Game: A knife is in my chest and I fall over. My essense and soul start to dissipate as I fade away, but something pulls me into the void below. It calls for someone called astro, but I don’t know who this is. I blast in the direction of the voice with a weapon that shulk gave me, but the voice only chuckled as it said, you know you’re guilty, just lie down and take the punishment. I fear I can no longer take it as I am swirled away, consciousness disappearing… I fight back but fail to win… I… am no more… 

Shulk

I desperately take out a device that is called that randomizer. I shoved a few portals to a few dimensions in there, and it takes something out and gives it to you. I can be a weapon, a food, a pill, a monster, even the entire dimension. I use it and it shoots a blade out to me. I grab it and feel the overwhelming power from it. Its called the Abyssal Blade. I use it to summon a doppelganger and some phantoms, looking for the undertaker so I may destroy him.

Game

It was a moment, a minute, a whole day. I can feel myself disappearing. It feels like falling. Falling into a big void. All I can think of is, dizzy, death,......Star. My mind swirls, I cannot explain how it felt. It was like I met face to face with the underworld. I fall deeper and deeper into my mind, but before it's too late, I see light. Something is pulling me back to the world of the living. I can feel it. There is something keeping me here and I don’t understand why. 

Delta/Undertaker

As my army of darklings advance. I know I am going to win. Then I turn fully dark. A monster. Black and purple. I am no longer human. I am. The. Undertaker. I watch as the city is burned to crisps. The people enslaved and GAME died. I jump down. My eyes dark with hatred. I weave a giant spell. A dark spell and open a black hole destroying every bit of the city left. Suddenly, I am light headed. Shulk charges to me and I summon a vortex of small demons to take care of him, but I become he other Delta for a split second. Then I am darkened once more. I laugh as I realize, both versions of me want to kill Shulk. I am all powerful. I am… the undertaker… AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME!

Shulk

My body is fueled with rage. No matter how many times I slash, these darklings will not DIE! That's when me and Delta meet eye to eye. We stop for an instant. Gazes locked on each other. Something is different. His eyes are dark, there is dark magic inside him. This is not the real Delta, but I must kill him if I must.

Blood ties chapter 13

Bathtub

Delta may have destroyed the city, but he did not effect the people. I rush everywhere healing people. My legs move as quickly as they can. I can feel my heart pounding in fear. The hard dirt beneath my feet. Everything is silent, until a flash of light appears at the corner of my eye. I hear people gasp. It's the darklings. 

Shulk

Me and my robotic troops hold off the darklings allowing people to escape, but suddenly I see several escaped or line sort of walls. The people are behind us and I rush towards them, my anger boils. I can feel my memories of hatred from others, the scary history of my childhood, and I can feel something powerful winding up inside me. I dash dodging spells. I feel the grip of my long blade in my hand. I jump, sword over my head aiming at the middle of them. Then my instincts take over. My blade emits light around it with yellow and green fire. Not knowing what I am doing, I squeeze the handle of my blade and spin. Slamming the weapon down it creates a wave of bright blue color. I killed them. Maybe not all of them but I killed some. My gaze turns to the people who are watching me in awe. I have no time for praise as I sense more coming. My foot turns into a batting stance. I feel the dust against my face. I am bruised and dirty. Brown dirt covering my face. I raise my sword preparing to take on a whole army...ALONE.

Bathtub.

I can see one man standing alone. Against a whole army of almost indestructible monsters. I am powerless to do anything. However, I see a flash of light and I am not where I was before. I am in a library.  Someone had summoned me here, but without me the people will all die.

Shulk

I watch behind me as the doctor suddenly disappears out of her will. Without her, the people will die. I shout to the people “use what you have and help me fight! It is no use, since we will all die.” I guess my speech was more...uplifting then what I thought before. I see the people rise as the monster's approach. I can hear the legs pounding against the floor. They are black and purple coming in different sizes. Some look like ash piles together, others look like glue, some look like those stranger things stuff. People pull out weapons they have from games, and then fight.

Delta

I watch as the people get up to fight. I snort, “there going to die trying” I think. 

 Chapter 14 The final step

Shulk

We plunge into battle. My emitting light is gone. The only thing we can do is weaken them as much as possible. As we fight I slash everywhere. Dashing here there. I see people fall, but I know it will happen anyway. When there are the smallest amount of people left, I pull out the void device. The power is dead. I make a frustrated groan as I fall back. I pull out another small device that becomes larger as I press a button. I am now the only one left. The monsters rush at me. Frantically, I point the device at me. My brain screams in fear and tells me to run, but I jab the device into me, I feel a pain searing through my belly. My knowledge and conscious transfers into the device. My body dies just as the monsters reach it. Then my consciousness in the device teleports into the void.

Delta

My dry and cracked mouth makes an evil grin as I see or at least think my minions killed Shulk. I see his body on the ground. I did it and I won. I am the Undertaker.

Game

I wake up, not as game anymore, but as someone else. I have knowledge of more magic then ever. I walk by as people bow to me. They seem like I was there ruler and that I have been ruling for a while. It is very confusing. I feel the nice bright sun over my face, and as I sit down on a chair to analyse the place I see one of Shulks conscious devices. Is that him?  Suddenly, memories flow into me.

Shulk 

My conscious sees alternative universes, dimensions. This is something that was impossible. As I am stuck in a small box, I see myself dying, or living, I see myself become powerful. Game alive. Delta good. My mind swirls. My conscious puts itself on the glass window trying to get a close look, but it moves too fast. It speeds up, going faster and faster.  I see rainbows and different colors. I become dizzy and everything goes black. 

Delta

After starcity, I feel a hunger for more fear. I want more destruction. Suddenly I become myself again but only for an instant as my eyes turn dark again and I find my next location to devour. The overstar.

Epilogue

Qwert

I woke up. My sight is blurry as I see my hands. I am supposed to be dead. I take in my surroundings. Am I in heaven? I see gold and books. It looks like it. Suddenly I see someone. Someone who I can sense is very powerful. And it appears that he has no good intentions. Hello, Qwert, he smiles. Its me, your new master, the undertaker, but you may remember me as… I freeze as I hear the name… D E L T A 

Bathtub

Hello, I am the bathtub.  Own the hospital. Using magic I can create magical ice cream that can heal everything. However that is not bringing back a life. However, before he fell and died,  Game told me something, eyes wide open. “You are more than just the doctor”, he said, “you are the traitor”.  He tumbles to the ground as I gasp to myself. This is who I am. I am a bathtub, only survivor of the crisis, the apparent traitor and spy, and the last one standing. 

The Librarian

I am the librarian, was once the Great Librarian of star city, now taking it as my base and refuge of the others for the citizens of star city. I knew I might have to run, so I ejected the library, making a new smaller planet called the overstar, with many different regions within this library. Star city may have been great, but it is now a broken down rock in space. The great shulk, bathtub and many other citizens came with me, but I fear that this place will decolate in no time… I don’t know if I can protect my citizens… I fear… I will die trying… 

[pixiedst]

Red Umbrella // Jeon Jungkook

Genre: Angst, Old Friends AU

Characters: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Warnings: none

Summary: When a snow storm hits the city, Jungkook and the reader get stranded in a sandwich shop.

Word Count: 2,634

A/N: This was requested by my homegirl Kitten (@kitten-dont), who was super excited for this. I hope you like it! Also, this is gender neutral so the pronouns are they/them. 

The moment he steps inside the shop, Jeon Jungkook is greeted with the wondrous smell of bacon, ham, and cheese, and more, as chatting customers fill the area with noise, not too loud or too quiet. His vibrating phone in the right pocket of his jeans stays ignored as he strides to the end of the surprisingly short line, waiting for his turn to order lunch for him and his two best friends, who, based on his buzzing pocket, seem to be impatient. After the two people in front of him are finished, they each receive a card holder with a white card sticking out, a number printed on them.

A man looks up from the cashier, flashing a small smile at him before saying, “Good afternoon, Sir. May I take your order?”

Jungkook takes out his phone and reads the messages his friends have been sending him on their group chat. “Yeah, I’ll have a turkey sandwich with cranberry sauce, a spicy tuna fish sandwich, and a bacon jack chicken sandwich for take out."

The man types in his order, the buttons on the computer making a sound with each press. “Any drinks with that, Sir?”

“A Pepsi for each,” he says, handing the man his money.

After a few more clicks, the cash register makes a sound, and the cash drawer slides out as the receipt slowly prints. The man gives him his change and a card holder, telling him his order will be ready in a few minutes. Jungkook slides into an empty booth, throwing his umbrella on the seat, and places his phone and card holder on the table, staring at the number sheepishly.

12.

As a sigh escapes his lips, a familiar figure walks past his booth, immediately grabbing his attention.

Without thinking, he calls for the person. “Y/N.”

Their breath hitches. Jungkook knows it’s them, and they know it’s him. They turn around cautiously, as if hearing his voice were dangerous, and in some way, it could be. Finally, their eyes meet. Suddenly his heart weighs a ton.

“Jungkook,” they say, their voice too soft, it’s drowned out by the noise of the customers, but he hears it somehow, like this conversation is the only existing thing in the room. At least to him, it is.

“Hi,” he says. His eyes then notice the light green apron hanging around their waist. “You work here?”

They look down at their apron, as if forgetting it was there, and blushes. “Oh, no, I don’t. Well, not really. My family owns this place, so…” their voice trails off, unsure of what else to say.

Jungkook’s phone screen lights up, showing another text from the group chat, and he’s not the only one reading the message telling him to hurry up. Y/N’s eyes are also on his phone.

“Taehyung’s telling you to hurry up, eh?” they ask, receiving a nod. “Seems that you still hang out with him and Jimin.”

“Yeah, we’ve been friends for a long time now.”

“I can see that. Well, I might as well put my authority to use since an old friend is here. Stay put,” they say and walk past the counter and into the kitchen.

An old friend. He looks back at the number in front of him, as if it were mocking him. Y/N was an old middle school friend who he had most of his classes with, which is the main reason they became close. A little too close, but they don’t really talk about that. Even his friends know not the mention anything. His eyes follow them and watch as they walk past the bar and into the kitchen. It feels weird watching them like that, walking inside casually. Y/N has never seemed like someone who would work at a sandwich shop, much less own it.

A sigh escapes his lips, his mind wandering into a trail of thoughts, but before he can completely zone out, a brown paper bag with a circular logo of the restaurant is placed in front of him. He blinks then looks up, seeing Y/N again.

“That was quick,” he says, opening the bag to check if he got his order.

Y/N shrugs, “They mixed up with the numbers. It was just sitting there.” When Jungkook raises an eyebrow at then, they smile. “Hey, this restaurant has really great and passionate employees. Mixing numbers up happens once in a while. They’re human too.”

For a moment his heart drops. This must be the first time they’ve smiled at him since middle school. After going into different schools, moving on was easy, and seeing each other didn’t seem like a possibility anymore. Who knew such a smile would bring all those memories back?

Before getting to carried away, Jungkook laughs and replies, “I wasn’t saying your restaurant has bad employees.” He gets up. “I gotta get going. Jimin and Taehyung are getting impatient.”

After receiving a nod and an awkward goodbye, Jungkook takes the paper bag and leaves the building, rushing to get back to a nearby park where his friends had been waiting for him.

Just watching him go feels familiar. Everything about him is familiar, especially to Y/N. After knowing each other for years, going into a short stage of middle school romance and eventually splitting up, reuniting feels like sixth grade again, except with less bantering and almost-kisses. They were too young to kiss at the time.

Before turning to go back to work, Y/N stops in their tracks after spotting a little umbrella laying on the red seat. They reluctantly pick it up and bring it to the staff room by their locker, coming out right after to tend to more customers, ignoring the heavy feeling of their heart.

-

“Remember to close at eight. We’ll see you tomorrow,” their mom says, walking out of the staff room.

After giving the customer in front of them their change, they reply, “Yes, I know when to close up.”

Their father then steps out of the staff room, a cue for them to leave. Having to go to Y/N’s grandparents house every Christmas Eve for Grandma’s birthday has been a tradition for years, but this time, since they’ve caught a cold, they decided they’d sit out of this one. They didn’t want their grandparents to get sick because of them.

When the clock strikes eight, the restaurant is empty, and they’re just about finished cleaning up. The chairs are stacked at the sides, the kitchen is flawless, and all that’s left to take care of is the slightly dusty floor and a red umbrella that has been waiting for its owner’s return.

On the TV is a weather report—something about snow—which Y/N only turned on to add some noise in the place. They hate feeling alone, so even if they have to listen to random news, it’s better than cleaning up in complete silence.

Suddenly, the doors open, and somebody walks in. When they see him, their mind turns blank, and they have to remember that he only came back for the umbrella and nothing else.

“Sorry, we’re closed for the day,” they joke. When Jungkook makes a face, they laugh and reply, “It’s at the back. Give me a sec.”

They place their broom against the wall and jog to the staff room and come back out with the umbrella in their hand. Jungkook takes it and thanks them, freezing right after as they both get startled by the sound of the wind outside the building.

The whistles fill the room, even with the doors shut. Not a single thing outside can be seen through the fogged windows except for the blur of the snow cascading to the icy ground.

Wanting to see what the outside looks like, Y/N walks to the doors, hands on handles, before Jungkook stops them. “That might not be a good idea.” They look at him. “It’s freezing out there, and judging by the wind, it’s gotten even colder. If you open those doors, snow will get in, and we’ll freeze to death.”

“Come on.”

“Okay, I was kidding about the ‘freezing to death’ part, but the rest is true. If you don’t wanna pick up a mop to clean up the wet floor from the snow, then I suggest you keep them closed. Plus, didn’t you hear the news? There’s a storm,” he explains.

Their shoulders fall. They look up at the TV, a shampoo commercial playing on the screen. The news had been talking about snow, but being the fool that they are, they disregarded it. Frustrated, a groan escapes their lips.

“What, then are you saying we need to stay the night?” they ask sarcastically.

Jungkook nods.

“You’re not serious.”

“Look, I’m not excited about this either,” he says, raising his arms in surrender. “Well, if you’ve got a better idea.”

Knowing they’ve been defeated, they sigh. “You’re still frustrated is ever.”

Jungkook, taking off a chair from the side, scoffs. “Because me being right is frustrating. Gotcha. Totally makes sense.”

Y/N walks toward him, their blood boiling. Memories flash back and forth. As if engraved into their mind, every drop of tear, every cold night in pain, each and every time they were confused with their emotions, all rush back, moving their legs for them like the trail of thoughts are in control.

“Yes, Jungkook. You being right is frustrating. It always has been.”

“What are you talking about?” at this point, he’s given up the idea of taking a chair and is facing them.

“Don’t act dumb. You can’t tell me you don’t remember what happened in the sixth grade,” they say.

“Which part of sixth grade? When I told you your essay wasn’t good? Or when I said you made a mistake in your report?” he fakes a gasp. “Or maybe you’re talking about the time I told you we couldn’t go out because we were too young.”

He knows he hit a sore spot, but he’s on fire. Ironically, he also ended up hurting himself with the memory. For a split second, he looks away, but Y/N is fast enough to catch the look in his eyes before they lock theirs again.

“Fighting for us wouldn’t have hurt,” they say, using up everything they could to hide the pain in their voice.

“We were twelve, Y/N.”

“Doesn't make a difference.”

“Still stubborn, I see.”

They scoff, turning away. Leaning against the cold wall far across the room, a small tear falls from their eye, but they quickly wipe it away before he could see. Jungkook ends up on the floor, ignoring the stack of chairs behind him. They stay like that for a while, not making a single sound. Together they listen to the whistles outside.

Jungkook sighs. His head is in his hands. This can’t actually be happening, could it? His phone screen only makes it worse, reminding him of the time and where he is. 8:30. In a sandwich shop with his sort-of-first-love. What a night.

After a few deep breaths and swallowing their pride, Y/N stands up and walks inside the kitchen, fixing up a simple ham sandwich. They walk to him and sheepishly stretch out their arm to give him the food, only for him to stare at him and not utter a single word. Before Y/N can think he’s being childish, he takes it, mutters a thanks, and takes a bite. They sit next to him, and together they eat in another silence.

The whistling doesn’t stop, but the feeling of dread it brought diminishes and is replaced by calmness, which is strange, given their current situation. Jungkook and Y/N are stranded in a sandwich shop. To him, sitting next to them is the most normal thing that happened tonight, and that’s saying a lot.

Catching up. That’s what they should be doing. They haven’t seen each other in years, and all they’re doing is sitting on the cold floor quietly. But Y/N’s eyes are betraying them, slowly closing and opening as they rebel against their body’s exhaustion. Not only that, but the wind is beginning to sound like a song, relaxing them.

“We should use the booths as beds for tonight,” Jungkook says, waking them up a little.

They groggily head back to the staff room and grab two backpacks, one of their own and their father’s. When they get back, Jungkook is laying on the seat of the booth he was sitting on a few hours back. They hand him their dad’s bag.

“Here,” they say. “Makeshift pillows. Don’t wanna wake up with a stiff neck, now do we?”

Jungkook takes it and lays his head on it, letting out a sigh in relaxation. This isn’t exactly a five star hotel, but somehow, he’s comfortable. Even after everything. Across from him, Y/N places their backpack on the seat and lays down on their side. They face each other.

After another noiseless moment, Jungkook speaks up. “You know, we can start again.”

Suddenly, their chest is heavy. “What?”

“We had this thing in middle school, and dating wasn’t really an option at the time but… it is now,” he says.

“Jungkook, I don’t know-“

But he stops her. “One date. Let me take you out on one date.”

“Then what?”

“Then we’ll see what happens. Come on, Y/N. Just one.”

They meet again after almost an entire decade. It couldn’t have been a coincidence. Not to Jungkook. Not after what they had. Sure, they were infatuated kids who didn’t know half the things they were doing, but now they do. They’re smarter now. More responsible. With a chance like this, there’s no way he would let Y/N slip from his fingers. Not again.

After what feels like hours, Y/N finally replies, “Okay.”

His smile is the last thing they see before falling asleep.

-

Sunlight pierces through the windows, waking them both. At the same moment, the doors open, and Y/N’s parents step inside the building. When they see the two of them rushing to get up, they confirm their theories the night before, except the extra roommate was an addition to the guess.

“We’ve been texting and calling you last night!” their mother says, rushing over to give them a hug.

Y/N turns and checks their phone on the table and presses on the home button, but the screen remains dark. “My phone must’ve died overnight. I left my charger at home.”

Their parents eyes move from her to the messy haired boy beside her, who instantly blushes when the trail of attention is transferred to him.

“Oh, this is Jungkook. You remember him, right?” Y/N asks.

“Good morning,” he bows to them. “I apologize for being here. I left my umbrella here yesterday and came back just in time the storm had arrived. This was completely unintentional. I’m sorry if there’s a misunderstanding.”

“Ah, Jungkook! Yes, I remember you!” their mother says. “Look how tall you’ve gotten! And handsome!”

After an embarrassing long-time-no-see meeting and small talk about his life, he turns and picks up his umbrella before heading to leave the restaurant. When he reaches the doors, Y/N calls after him.

“Wait!” He turns to them. “When are we…”

He smiles. Their heart races.

“I’ll text you.”

With that, Y/N is left in the building with the reddest cheeks (which they’re blaming on the weather) and parents with the biggest smiles on their faces. Being stranded in their family’s sandwich shop wasn’t really part of yesterday’s agenda, and despite the freezing cold weather, they feeling nothing from warmth.

[the-goddess-of-change]

Redemption

might end up being a two parter.

As i ran in the crashing rain i heard the same noises in my head over and over again the sound of the gun and her body hitting the ground taking with her the glass of wine she holding And now...i hear the sirens, i did all i could to block out the noises as i ran trough back alleys doing all i could to hide from open roads and lights My feet were already hurting from running much and my heart was beating like never before in a sense, it felt like a dream...the scenery, the running...but this was all to real And as i kept running only one thing was in my mind; i have to hide... my friends had all abandoned me my family didn't even talk to me anymore my frequented places was all closed i had no where to go but i knew i was not going to get caught i had...done a favour or so i kept telling myself inside deep down i guess i knew i had done something horrible but i tried to keep it inside, Hidden deep down inside As i looked out from a corner i ran across the street as i saw a police car turning the corner i narrowly avoided being seen as i noticed a flashing old looking neon sign for a beer stein figuring i had nothing to lose. i headed to the sign and just below it was a pair of stairs filled with rain and a big pool at the bottom i slowly walked downstairs and opened the door and walked inside inside was a small bar...a few stools in front of and old looking counter and some bottles in the back The light was flashing weakly and i spotted a woman sitting on the only booth at the end of the bar she had short black hair, wearing a black dress with glasses She took a sip of her drink and looked up at me ''Welcome, can i get you anything ?'' she said in a slow monotone voice i looked at her in confusion but i didnt want to seem suspicious so i walked over to on the stools and sat down hoping id be safe in this little tucked away bar ''i...give me a beer please...'' i said as i tried to be calm even though my heart was still racing She got up of her seat and walked over to the counter and poured me a glass of beer ''Here you go and dont worry...you're safe here'' i looked at her but said nothing as i took a sip of the beer it felt...cold, but the good kinda cold, it went easily down my throat and the aftertaste was...divine ''this...this is really good'' i said without thinking ''its foreign'' she said in the same slow voice i just nodded and took another sip ''So...what are you here for ? murder ?'' she said just right out of the blue i looked at her with a shocked expression unable to hide the truth in what she said ''E-excuse me ?'' ''So yes then...the police is looking for you...give me a good reason to not tell them right now'' i just looked at her figuring it was all over...i had lost and now i was going to jail for the rest of my life... ''....yeah...my wife...she...i dont know...it's hard to really remember...'' ''Let me guess then'' she said and looked at me ''You murdered your wife after finding out she was sleeping with another man and something else'' i nodded as she hit the nail on the head ''she..had been for years. taking my money in the process and using me...i just didnt know anymore...i didnt think straight'' ''I know how it feels, the anger and frustration taking control and soon, you dont even think anymore'' i looked at the woman in a strange way, it sounded like she knew what she was talking about ''But oh well, what's done is done, you're a murderer now'' ''i...'' i stopped myself from continuing the sentence ''But do not worry too much, this might be your chance for redemption if you decide to trust me'' ''Trust you ? Redemption ? what are you talking about'' i said as i chugged the rest of the beer The girl just smiled and reached below the counter and got out some kinda deck of cards ''what are those ? Tarot cards ? playing cards ?'' ''Oh...Neither, made it myself'' ''im going to shuffle the deck and pick three cards, whatever happens once those are picked, i will give you the option to take one and lets see how it goes from there'' i shrugged not completely paying much attention to her as she refilled my glass ''Now then, let us leave this up to fate or the police...who knows'' She smirked and started shuffling the cards as she picked three cards and turned them face down on the table ''Now then...let us see what fate has in store, usually murderers dont get of that easily so dont be alarmed if you're sent straight to hell because once these cards are up, i decide your fate'' i said nothing and just kept looking at her one by one she turned the three cards on the table with a slight smile spreading across her face ''interesting'' she said as i looked at her ''what does it mean ?'' ''Well, surprising no one, the first card is the hell card which is a one way ticket to hell to atone for what you did but i assume you dont want that'' ''the second is the void card which just sends you into a black void forever where you dont feel anything and just stay there forever in a void of emptiness'' ''but the third card is interesting'' she smiles and shows me the card which is a complete copy of my wife ''....Ericka ?'' ''i guess you see her...well, as you took her life there is yet another chance for you'' ''and that is ?'' ''Well, you took her life so the one way to bring her back is that you take her place'' ''take her...place ?'' ''She comes back to life...or rather, you become her, you vanish, never existed but you take over the body of your wife and atone by living her life without you'' ''Huh ? you mean...i just stop to exist and become her ?'' ''well, your soul takes over her body since her soul, you trade places in other words except you disappear but you become her, in flesh'' ''Okay...'' she smiled at me ''So what will it be, murderer ? you want to atone by going to hell ? live an eternity as a empty shell wandering in the dark or live the life your wife should have lived without you in it'' ''obviously the first two is a no but you say i become her ? do i lose my memory ?'' ''No, that wouldn't really be a punishment would it ? you will still be you but in a different body, Living her life'' ''im sure you will get some important memories to not mess up'' ''Fair enough'' i said as i chugged the second beer and looked at her ''i dont really understand how all this is possible but i pick the third option of course'' The girl smiled happily at me as she poured me another drink ''Well then, drink this and things will become clearer in a second and dont worry, you might black out but its all natural'' i said nothing and chugged the drink, it had a weird sweet taste to it ''Well then...Good night'' she said as my sight started to slowly fade, i heard a ringing noise in my head as my head rested down on the counter and i blacked out I'm not sure what happened next because i remember...standing on a field...outside...it was sunny, i could feel the warmth of the sun shining down on me but there was no one there Nothing. it was like time had stopped All i saw was a silhouette in front of me i rubbed my eyes a few times as the silhouette took on a human shape as i looked at my wife standing there, alive... ''E-Ericka..'' i said She nodded and smiled at me ''You...robbed me of my life...but its not all your fault, i used you for my own gain...i never cared much about you but...it seems like we both are punished'' ''You will live on as me while i fade away someplace...'' ''i will only ask one thing of you, John, make better choices than we both did'' she said as she walked over to me and kissed my lips softly and faded away again i stod there, looking out over the now empty field i felt my knees getting weak as i fell down on the soft grass and started crying ''What have i done...im sorry...'' i said as my tears rolled down my face yet no matter how much i cried, no one heard me as i was alone in this...strange place i dont know how long i just i cried but...as my eyes felt dry i slowly stod back up and looked at where she once stod and nodded ''i...i dont know how...but...if i can atone for what i did...i will do my best'' i said rubbing my eyes with my hands ''Thank you'' a voice said from somewhere as i saw what looked like a ball of light in front me of me slowly go into my body And as it did my vision turned blurry i started to see Ericka's life before me except...it was like i was given the chance to redo certain events in her life The first trough childhood was more like if i should listen to her mom which i did most of the time then the school life started and i got to see school trough her eyes and it felt...real but i knew it was something else i got asked questions by the teachers, i was given questions by my fellow classmates i got a few friends as this kept going for several years til college came up and i had to chose what to study i knew Ericka picked Art for her college education but i also saw what that path lead up to so i picked Economics instead thinking it would be a good choice This kept going til my vision once again faded away and i fell onto the ground ..... ........ .......... ............. ................ i heard...ringing, loud ringing noises i moved my arms but it felt like it was trapped underneath something i slowly opened my eyes and looked around i was...in my bedroom... my arms were just under the blanket as i got them out and rubbed my eyes i turned and looked at the alarm clock which was ringing i turned it off and rubbed my eyes again as used all my strength to get out of bed As i stod up i felt...strange or rather...i noticed something out of place i looked down at my body and noticed my breasts ''....okay'' i just said in a low tone as i turned on the lights and looked at my reflection in the mirror Sure enough, i was...Ericka now. i had become my wife so she could live on ''so...this is how it's going to be then'' i shrugged and closed my eyes trying to get some of her memories or understand where in life she was Nothing came to me so i guess i just have to wait for it to come naturally i looked around the room and noticed some clothes hanging on a nearby chair which i assumed Ericka put there the night before i guess thanks to all the choices i made....i changed major parts of her life...it looks like she lives alone in this house so...i assumed i had a decent amount of money and the clothes looked...well, not cheap i slowly got dressed and put on my clothes and headed out of my bedroom and checked around the house it was the same house but...it was decorated so differently and it looked more...modern for some reason the kitchen was remodeled. the bathroom, instead of a shower had a nice bathtub instead and the whole house looked like was well kept...not that the old house wasn't but this looked...a bit over the top ''this is amazing'' i said a bit shocked to hear my new voice I walked back to the bedroom and inspected myself a bit more in the mirror i looked pretty much just like her, except maybe a bit more in shape and longer hair but it was the same ''so...to atone for what i did...im supposed to live her life and make sure its a good life'' i didnt really think much about it Being a woman now...sure that is weird but given another chance to live is even more strange i turned around and noticed a small post it note on the nighttable i slowly picked up and looked at it and it just said ''No mistakes'' that was all it said ''No mistakes...okay, i dont know how to do that but i will do my best to make this life worth it'' i put the post it note back down and looked at myself in the mirror again i adjusted my bra a bit and stretched the dress a bit down and did a little twirl ''Yeah...this is going to work just fine'' i giggled lowly to myself and took a deep breath as i started this new life

[swampgallows]

something inside me has been killing me for years and i can’t pinpoint what it is and i don’t know how to make it stop.

i guess i could have been working all of this time. i’ve wasted a lot of time since i stopped working. i told my parents i was going to be working on my writing and my art and my DJing and i have barely done any of that. i havent been able to write my next chapter for months. nothing has come to me. and the story is a stupid fanfiction so it’s not really worth anything, it’s not like i’m working on the next great american novel or whatever. i havent finished the illustrations i wanted to do for my zine so i haven’t released that yet either. im barely scraping by on gift art. it took me 5 months to order the lathe cut for myself but i did finally do -that-. and im barely on the second section of coding. everything feels so difficult and i can’t focus on a single thing at a time. i’ve been trying to figure my life out but all of my avenues seem empty.

last night i thought if i could pretend to be someone else that wanted to take care of me, i would be able to take care of myself. after an entire day of not eating, around 1am i guess i finally got something to eat. i’d had “drinkable yogurt” earlier but this was actually semi-solid food i was making. soup and grilled cheese. i spent enough time outside with the dog that i got a little chilled and figured i’d have that. nothing sounded appetizing. as i was sitting outside with xena i kept seeing things move and flash in the night and froze up with terror. they werent real, of course, but i saw them anyway. little spirit beasts flitting through the darkness.

i’ve been trying to keep my head above water. part of me knows that i really wouldnt be able to have kept working. i would have snapped at somebody or been Too Ill. i would have shown too much, the non-professional me. there is no professional me. i feel like no matter how hard i’d try, even if i wanted to, i would always be tangentially askew from the pulsing Thing to which everyone else is tied. i cannot ever be part of this Thing that everyone else is part of. I dont think it’s the kind of thing that dropping E and suddenly feeling the Unity or whatever will solve. i dont think a rush of endorphins will make me feel like i belong to society. i feel like i am a liminal entity and i have to exist in an in-between state or i will cease to exist at all. i dont fully know what i mean by that except that i feel like i must always be on my way somewhere. i would rush out of work and class and anywhere else, i walk anywhere i can and listen to music and check out mentally and physically from everything else. i live in my head where it is safe, and that is not safe. the internet is almost like a real version of this; existing as a liminal, safe, curated Self, a self away from the self, a place detached from my body and lifestyle and anything else. its a great equalizer where everybody has a say no matter where or who they are. 

i have written for over ten years now that i want to run away. i suppose i want to run away from myself but i’m not sure how true that is anymore. i dont know where i want to go. i have no destinations. just “away”.  i’ve been wanting to go to rotterdam for half of my life. i had always wanted to travel, of course, but there was never anything i wanted to actually do or see except to one day go to the netherlands and go to a nightmare in rotterdam or something like that, and now it’s finally happening. and it’s bigger than Nightmare, it’s THUNDERDOME. i never thought i would have the chance to go to a Thunderdome party in my lifetime but i’m alive and it’s happening and it’s like i cant even envision what i want to do or anything. i just want to get there, and be there, and exist in a place that isn’t here, and look at clouds, and smell different air, and see different buildings, and then dance my balls off all night to some really, really, really great music. this should feel like my wedding day but instead i just feel ...hard. i feel like i dont deserve it, or like it’s not actually going to happen, or like i will just ruin everything, or that somebody else will. 

nate was talking to me about all of these self-started self-accomplished people he’s been hanging out with and how he feels so pressured by their sheer level of success. he is also self-made and successful but feels like he’s supposed to be even more so. i dont know if i want success. i dont have anything to succeed at. 

my friend, who is an older friend but i had to keep at arm’s length a while, has come back into my life recently to help me with coding. granted, he’s drunk 99% of the time he talks to me, but he’s at least trying to encourage me to stick with it. he always wants to voice chat with me but i usually dont have the energy, or i’m doing something else. he keeps telling me about all the success i could have—”it's a journey but it's well worth it, and it's just a topic that you'll never exhaust as long as you live, which is true of the best topics worthy of devoting time to, and you're super smart, you'll have no issue with this -- just keep it up over a couple of years, just chipping away at it, and the career that's ahead of you could be so interesting”—and i feel like i just... don’t care. about any of it. about anything. sure i’d like to make/have a lot of money, i guess, just to keep my comforts. but then what? im living with my parents who i know actually do care about me, but don’t seem to, or just “support” me. 

when i finally got up the courage? stamina? delusion? to pretend to be someone else and grill me a cheese, i was feeling a little okay. i was feeling proud that i took initiative to at least fucking feed myself, since i barely seem capable of doing that. i was keeping up steam until i heard my mom crying from another room, “Where’s my baby girl? is that my baby?” and i knew she wasnt talking about the dog, and my heart dropped through my chest and i just wanted to die. “What do you want?” i snipped, trying to answer her but unable to hide my contempt apparently. “I just wanted to see you” or some such shit, i dont even remember what she said. “can i help with anything?” no “may i hug you?” (at least she asked) i don’t want to be hugged right now. “okay. im sorry you’re so unha--that youre not feeling good--- i hope you feel better...” and she hobbled away.

it was like 130 in the morning and i was standing over “45 calorie” wheat bread that had been thawed. my illusion of being someone that i was not—someone who gave a shit about me—was broken, and i felt like a fucking idiot, and i felt caught in the act of pretending, and i felt embarrassed, and i felt like... how dare i try to be something im not. how dare i imagine for even a fucking moment that im not genetically and financially and whatever the fuck else chained to this fucking family and all of my inherited neuroses and everything else. that she made an appearance specifically to disrupt whatever the fuck it was i was doing. because she had offered to cook me a thousand things and i didnt want any of them, and i didnt want her to take care of me, because im never going to be able to take care of myself, and when i finally took a course of action to actually try to feed myself my mom couldnt STAND it, apparently, and had to, still, offer to “help” when im MICROWAVING A CAN OF SOUP AND PUTTING BREAD ON A PAN. how could she HELP? she couldnt. she just had to fucking make her presence there because god forbid i do a single fucking thing on my own. i’m... 27 years old... for christ’s sake... i dont need “supervision” to toast some kraft singles onto bread... and if i did, i would ask.

or maybe i wouldnt. im not good at asking for help. even when i know i need it. i dont like owing people things or asking for favors. it just proves how worthless i am and that im dependent on other people and cant do anything by myself and that anything i do by myself fucks up. at least if i fuck up whatever it is i’m doing i wont have to drag anybody else into it. 

so i finally ate and after a few hours of cramps and being unable to even eat without feeling like i was gonna throw up, i spent like an hour in the bathroom regardless, immediately purging whatever it was i dared to eat. 

i dont know how to get better. part of me is afraid of getting better. if i have a good thing it will just be ruined. all i do is hold people back and im tired of getting in people’s way. im tired of making a bunch of wrong decisions and then half the time not even being able to own them. im tired of feeling like life is just happening to me and knowing that i dont have control over anything.

[justmyluckff]

Chapter 44:Oh Baby

“To have your eyes on a little me that would be fine forever.”

“So you’re trying to kill my child again?”

I’m infuriated right now. I arrived a little over ten minutes ago and we’ve been arguing well I’ve been yelling and she’s been crying.

“It’s not like that Maurice let’s just sit down and talk about this for a second.”

“You weren’t going to tell me. I had to find out from Rita.”

She begins sniffling uncontrollably her chest is heaving up and down. Her words are becoming inaudible. She’s just pacing around her bedroom in tears.

“Stop that.”

I grab a hold to her waist cradling against her neck. I pick her up to place her on her bed. I lie next to her and press her body against mines.

“I’m just so scared. What if I’m not a great mom? What if we break up once the baby’s born?”

“In order for us to break up we have to get back together first. Baby you know I will never abandon you or my child.”

She reclines her head on my chest and sighs. I kiss the strays of hair that are sticking up from her wig.

“What the fuck are we really doing Amber Giselle Thomas?”

We have to be in this to win this now. We are having a child a baby is serious business. We have to be together. I want us to be a family.

“As of right now we’re laying down Christopher.”

“Dont be a smart ass Amber. I’m ready for us to be together again. I miss you. I need you.”

“I need you too but I’m so scared. Ok I’ll try this again under one condition. If you go to therapy with me so we can hash out all of our problems.”

“Ok cool that’s fine with me.”

I’m willing to do anything for this to work. I can’t keep walking around the world with my other half missing. She is the mother of my child for a second time around. This must be God’s fate. I need her.

“You really mean that baby daddy?

She begins kissing the side of my jaw and gnawing at my ears.

“Yes baby mama I do.”

“I love you so much. I’m ready for us to be one again. Lets make it work Chris.” I could only smile at the whole outcome of this. I’m not even mad anymore

“First things first we are going to the doctor in the morning.’ I say sternly

She extends her arms in the air and releases a soft yawn. He eyelids flutter before she closes them. In no time she’s lightly snoring against me. ______________________________________________ Me and Amber are awaiting the results of the baby in agony. The nurse ensured us that everything would be ok, but you never know with these things.

“Are you ok baby?” I stroke Amber’s hand as she nervously giggles. The nurse walks back in with a clipboard in her hands.

“Ok mommy and daddy to be from my research it says here you are ten weeks. Congratulations you two.”

“I can’t wait to have my little princess running around she’s going to be so cute.” Amber says

“Oh hell nah I’m going to have to break these little niggas neck. I want a son first then a daughter so he can protect her.

“First time parents huh?” She inquires as she scribbles down on a notepad.

“Something like that.” Amber mumbles in a somber tone

“Everything seems pretty normal but for the little one I want you to intake more fruits for vitamins and here’s a prescription for your prenatal. If you want to work you still can treat your life as normal as possible. You can still have your modeling gigs and outings.”

Amber smiled at that. I know it’s been a while since she was in the spotlight after everything that transpired months back.

“That’s great to hear that Nurse Jones.” She smiled

I gave her a piggy back to the car she held on for dear life. I look to the left and there were a few cameras flashing. Fuck someone must have told the papz we were here.

“It was only a matter of time before they found out anyway.” Amber whispered in my ear.

I’m nervous about tonight Chris and I decided to have dinner at his to tell everyone the news. Tianna, Barry, my mom, mama J and Rita will all be in attendance. We had to do damage control and fast. Everyone would be upset if they found out through the blogs about what was happening.

The doorbell chimes causes me to peer my head over to the left. I removed my apron and picked up my gloves to take my homemade buffalo chicken lasagna from the oven. It’s Chris’s favorite dish. I remove the butter garlic toast from the bottom rack then I proceed to trot towards the door.

“Hi pumpkin.” My mother greets me with Joyce following suite. They became the best friends a while ago. They do everything together including bible studies and brunches. I think it’s kind of cute.

Joyce smiles brightly exposing those deep dimples I love to see. She holds me tightly her embraces always feel warm.

“Something smells good in here. Where’s that knucklehead son of mines?”

“He’s in the shower mama.”

Mama Joyce and Evelyn immediately try to take over the kitchen. They walk over to the pantry to pull out different seasonings and things to prepare.

“Oh no you two old ladies sit down. I got this. Dinner is already ready” I say putting my feet down.

“Well alright I’ll just pour a little wine.” My mother grabs three glasses and fills them to the rim.

“No mommy I really can’t drink right now.” I protest

“Come on pumpkin the cook always needs a little something.” She encourages.

“Stop trying to get my girl to drink mama in law.” Chris appears in the kitchen looking fine as ever. I bite down on my body left feeling myself get moist.

The jingling of keys turn our attention the door. Barry, Tianna and Rita all walk in at the same time. Thank God now I can eat. The little one is hungry. Chris begins to set the table in his dining room, he places silverware down and glasses.

“Something must be going on. My baby bringing out his good plates.” Mama J chuckles

Once everyone was properly seated they begin to dig in the pasta with their forks. The mmms coming from their mouths were enough to let me know I threw down.

“Damn baby I swear I have to marry you. This is always so good.”Chris says

“Ok come on with the important announcement.” Mijo speaks for the first time since saying hi to everyone.

I take a deep breath swallowing a wad of spit. Chris strokes my thigh for encouragement.

“We’re having a baby.” Chris says loudly.

“Thats awesome lil bro.” Mijo says

“Thank God.” Rita sighs in relief. I playfully roll my eyes at her.

“I’m going to be an auntie.” Titi says

“My babies.” Joyce coos with tears on the brim of her eyes. My mother jogs over to where I am and begins rubbing my small pudge.

Everyone’s excitement made me tear up. I wasn’t expecting these reactions then again the people in this room always wanted me and Chris to be together no matter what.

Seeing my family this happy made me happy. Chris has loved Amber since meeting her years ago. He’s never loved anyone the way he does her.

“Since we’re dropping bombs me and Mijo have something to say too.” I look over to Tianna

Chris is going to kill me, dig up my body then bury me again. Amber will probably curse us out.

“We eloped in Vegas a few days ago.” Tianna dangles her diamond ring as I fiddle with my wedding band.

“You sneaky motherfuckers. I was supposed to be your maid of honor.”Amber spews

“Don’t mind her and her hormones I’m happy for you brother. You’re lowkey and aren’t the flashy type anyway you hate attention. That was the perfect way to do it.”

“Thanks wonder twin. I just want to be a great husband.”

Things have been looking up for me lately. I have my wife and now I have joint custody of my son. After his mother realized using him as collateral to hurt me was only hurting him she started to think more rationally.

“All my babies are doing so well I’m proud.”

“Don’t cry mama Joyce.”

I love Joyce so much my mother passed away when I was young I met Chris at fourteen and he’s been my family ever since. His mom is my mom, his cousins are my cousins and so on and so on.

Dinner was now over and the women were upstairs talking about girl shit like romance and crimping hair. Me and my brother was in the basement playing video games.

“What is it truly like to be a dad Barry?”

“Man Chris it’s indescribable it’s the most beautiful thing. You have an extension of you walking around the earth now you have to live for them, grow for them, watch for them, pray for them. Once a child is here everything is placed in perspective.

You see clearer. You feel different. You move different. It is the purest form of love. Your child will give you a sense of comfort and unconditional love you never knew existed.”

“Damn man that’s deep. I just want to be the best. Clinton wasn’t always perfect but my dad was a great father. When he and mama broke up he still was there for me you know but I don’t want my seed to go through the bullshit I did. I want a stable environment.

We have to leave the petty shit behind before this baby comes. That’s why I’m going to therapy with baby girl. I can’t fuck this up Barry. I’ve did a lot of stupid shit but I want to be perfect for my seed.”

“Chris you’ll never be a perfect parent because it’s unrealistic however you will give your child love. Shit do you know how many times I dropped my my on his head when he was an infant? Nigga I couldn’t change diapers. I used to give him real milk. I didn’t know shit.

One time I called mama J and cried my eyes out. She told me everything would be ok. I was so overwhelmed I felt like a failure and that my son didn't love me. You’ll do good Chris. You have us for support and even if you do make mistakes its ok.”

Chris parked his beer at his lips before chugging it to the head. I can tell by the curiosity in his eyes he was listening and taking in everything I just said. Parents are super heroes even though we try not to be. We aren’t perfect we’re just humans it’s the circle of life.

[survivorpacificislandallstars]

Ep. 7 - “We're putting our fate in the hands of Jordan Pines” - Kevin

See, I don't exactly know why people think they can not have a conversation with anyone and get off scot free. *Me, who hasn't started conversation with two of my tribemates* Like what the fuck, I don't understand how multiple people in the game so far have thought they can not hold a conversation with anyone and not be voted out? If you don't want to leave, talk to me. Sam did it and now she's fine. I love Gabby, I love Jordan, I love Madison But DAMN you guys need to talk or shit's gonna get thrown your way for being inactive. I get it. I hate talking to people too. *Has been avoiding Steffen and Billy* But you gotta hold conversation if you wanna keep your torch lit. That might work at merge but if you can't challenge beast your way there at least hold a conversation. It might save you.

Omg I just found out a merry go round idol exists and I'm screaming because if sam b replaced me that means I WOULD'VE GOTTEN IT AGAIN. Sam is a true queen because instead of having to play the idol she was able to get the votes turned around. Though I'm really annoyed because voting sam is way smarter than voting out gabby. Someone said it best...gabby is inactive...this is all stars and you have to get out strong players before they get you out. Also I'm really annoyed with mitch because he got the rakiura idol clue (made easier by monty actually /saying/ how the initial thing worked) and it's even easier to find than the izu one!! Even if it's not for his beach, by putting another survivor he would find the page eventually!! Ugh so frustrating. Stevie may or may not be getting closer to figuring things out because he was asking me about what the old rakiura page was. Goooo stevie! 

PUNPUN HAD A BLEEPING IDOL IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII. it all makes sense as to why they didnt want to vote brandon just in case, but honslee im glad i did bc if ashley played smth then it wouldve been 0-0 and i dont want to mess with anymore tie votes.anyway! this tribal worked out perfectly and hopefully we can win some immunities bc itll be tough voting out anyone in this game. im just prayin that sammy is safe on the other side or else my f2 is dead :/

me:*prayin that sam will stay* me:*shouldve been praying for gabs to stay* honslee? i cant wait to get revenge for gabs!! >:~)

Conf #15: Honeslee This tribal went so well. People dont expect Stevie and i are working together (And I was the one who suggested voting Gabriel so I mean im not saying I ran that vote but im not not saying I ran that vote) I dont see me or Stevie going on this tribe and With that said HOPEFULLY there isnt a tribe swap soon

I DID IT. I SUCCESSFULLY GOT JORDAN PINES TO THINK HE HAD ME IN HIS BAG OF MINIONS. OH FRAPJOUS DAY! CALOOH CALLAY!

tribe swap deliberation is going amazing as van basically let me set it up exactly how its beneficial to me. Cause i have them thinking that their tribe of nunuwhetu is like a strong tribe which keeps them safe. And honestly i’m hoping van makes it through cause i like van a lot. But i am sure some triple tribal or something will be coming and all it means is one of those strong players is going home, and i set up each other tribe so that either by the grace of random.org or by the positioning of people from whetu i can be safe with strong allies and like easy vote offs. This could not have went better

Okay I don't know how much I like working with Chrissa, she's very all over the place. She's basically pushing Kevin then a few people say they'd rather Brandon and then it's just like "okay I voted Brandon!" Like damn girl wait until we have a decision before just saying "okay I voted" I'm pretty sure she did that with the Ashley vote too. Anyways apparently there's gunna be ANOTHER swap next round which I'm kind of excited for because then it's Burma and I loved Burma and it's the reason I'm here so yay for Burma! Speaking of that, I'm sad Ricky isn't here so we could just use my host chat from that as an alliance chat. That's a lot shorter than I thought it was, I feel like I have more to say but I've been sick all week and I can't think so that's it for now I guess Also drew has informed me that he's not going to start caring about this game until final 14 so I mean maybe that's why he's just been very whatever about talking about game or anything but I don't know. I really wanna work with him but I'm not gunna wait until 14 to start doing anything dbskdbdk

Oh yeah and I don't think that Jordan wants to vote Brandon so this will be interesting

Well yknow I was hoping today would be today I could make Andrew proud and vote out Gage, but I guess God hates me because I sure fucking thought. Just when I mention the thought of voting out Gage to one person, that person being Drew, because Gage is sneaky and I can't trust him after the Rhea vote, some asshole decides to ruin an innocent 12 year olds hopes and dreams!!! And if you ask me, folks, that's just messed up. But good news!!! Other targets include Brandon and Chrissa. I told Brandon that both of us were being targeted and that we need to work together, and this was like a half lie and half truth bc at the time I was bsing just to get him on my side but then like five seconds later I found out he actually was being targeted. But um yeah. So far it looks like we have five votes for Chrissa which if you ask me is very festive: Punpun Karen Drew and Brandon, all icons unless they flip on me then they can choke. But I just need one more vote!!! Don't know who the fuck that would be but!!! We'll have to find them someday

PUN PUN IS SO DONE! i swear to fucking god they ask me about the vote then go against me claiming they love me and are with me! I was for punpun! i made sure they were safe, FUCK YOU PUNPUN thanks a fucking lot.

Well this season is gonna suck if Brandon goes he's like the one person to reach out to me!!!!!!!! I know God hates me but he doesn't have to stoop to this low of a level. SUPPOSEDLY we somehow have Gage of all people on our side, I mean I don't know if I support it but like, if it isn't me... I've heard Brandon's name a lot but like!!!! I both want to be in the game while also being a person with morals who values friendships but I guess these people severely disagree

Honesty the fact that we're putting our fate in the hands of Jordan Pines is appalling and sad, cause we're really just playing ourselves as well as adding to his ego. But um... I think we've convinced him??? But things are so uncertain and I can't rn

I am so fucking pissed off, first of all I just said Brandon was being voted but before that I was fighting to get the votes for someone else out that is not brandon, but news flash PUN PUN AND KAREN: I AM NOT IN CONTROL OF THIS VOTE! If Brandon wants to be fucking safe he needs to pm people which he doesn't do obviously as that's the reason everyone has went for him. Ash was right he gets far because of all of his little SHEEPLE. Have fun being up Brandon's ass when he is voted out!

If Brandon leaves tonight I will finally feel vindicated

Why the fuck does everyone want to vote my friends out

You know why I hate Rakiura? Because of the merry go round idols. You know what Jeff Probst just deep throated me with? A little green man that is collectively known as the merry go round idol. Ughhhhhhhh I want to be iconic with it and just blow up everyone's plans but it's too early to be doing stuff like that, especially with the overwhelming amount of tribe swaps we have had and will come in the future. Right now the vote is between Brandon and Chrissa and I'm voting brandon just because I see Chrissa being more loyal to me down the road (once I blindside Samantha G AKA Godmantha) I'm not playing the idol unless something happens at tribal, and odds are I'll probably give it to ash. Also I found out Karen has a sapphire idol. Hopefully she gets blindsided with it in her pocket like Jordan in Izu.

I guess I was wrong, Jordan does wanna vote for Brandon so that's good but now it's gunna be 7-4 Brandon to Chrissa possibly? Hopefully none of them 4 have that stupid merry go round idol but who knows they probably do. At least it's Chrissa and not me.

so i am probably getting voted out people are scared to go against the majority premades rule the game what else is new

[gulescamisade]

Minnesota:  Day 27

JADE: -She's on the roof of the Crocker headquarters, pawing slowly through her mobile device. No updates since last night on the bulletin board... she imagines that group is travelling now. It's only a matter of time. Everything is going exactly as they thought.-

DAVESPRITE: -dutifully silent. Until he decides to shuffle and peek from his designated hiding place. Still the size of a canary.- do you often brood on rooftops

DAVESPRITE: i ask while also kicking it on the rooftop

DAVESPRITE: blame the bird part of me

DAVESPRITE: theyre pretty fond of heights i am anyway

DAVESPRITE: i am they and they are me

DAVESPRITE: (caw)

JADE: -squints down at him-

JADE: i mostly brood on rooftops when i know a little bird is watching

JADE: except consider this less brooding and more plotting J

ADE: just in case you forgot youre being held hostage

JADE: -he may or may not be in one of her coat pockets....-

DAVESPRITE: -it's a comfy coat pocket. He hangs and chills, sprite tail hanging out the opposite end.- youre one big bad jade

DAVESPRITE: a mega bad upsized to just plain Big (tm) served with a complimentary side of kickass

DAVESPRITE: cuz lets face it

DAVESPRITE: the irrefutable fact is you were always kickass(edited)

JADE: telling me things i already know isnt going to win you any points

JADE: i figured that out no thanks to you

DAVESPRITE: its no thanks to anyone

DAVESPRITE: not even gpa huh

JADE: of course not

JADE: i had to figure out everything on my own because it wasnt like anyone else was going to be there or honest

JADE: i spent way too much time taking care of everyone else instead of figuring out what i can do

JADE: its no wonder i got so depressed

DAVESPRITE: are you depressed right now

JADE: why would i be??

JADE: im not being held back anymore

DAVESPRITE: dunno

DAVESPRITE: doves gone a month without her mom

DAVESPRITE: kind of sucks someone else is having to watch out for her

JADE: and things will be better for her once i take care of this

JADE: thats what you dont get

JADE: its not enough to just say something

JADE: you have to actually do it

DAVESPRITE: i get it

DAVESPRITE: ive seen it

DAVESPRITE: im still seeing it

DAVESPRITE: im in the moment with you right now

DAVESPRITE: nothing else exists outside just the two of us having a chat

DAVESPRITE: thats how time works in your head anyones head

DAVESPRITE: small real moments that add up to something bigger than yourself

DAVESPRITE: without it were just frozen wonderin whether it was always supposed to be this way

DAVESPRITE: thats how i see it anyway

DAVESPRITE: what are you going to look like tomorrow

JADE: like someone who knows what she's doing

JADE: and stops listening to people who hurt her

DAVESPRITE: -he's quiet a long, long moment. Just listening.- did i hurt you

JADE: -Now she's quiet, too, though she shouldn't be. The mere cause of her silence just angers her more.- you lied to me

JADE: you say you think im strong but even you just think im a stupid little girl

JADE: that you have to hide everything from me

JADE: that i cant handle it or maybe just that you can get away with it

JADE: you dont trust me so why i should i trust you????

DAVESPRITE: you got a point gg

DAVESPRITE: i did hide a lot from you

DAVESPRITE: its more a reflection on my own weak game ass ass assholery than anything lets be real

DAVESPRITE: i dont deserve your trust i aint earned it

DAVESPRITE: but hey

DAVESPRITE: i never lied about why im doing this for

DAVESPRITE: cause that was always you

DAVESPRITE: and jade harleys a better reason to get my ass in gear than literally anything else that was going for me in the old au hah -The laughs sounds so dry. But it's there.-

DAVESPRITE: paradox space can go fuck itself it wasnt going to stop me

DAVESPRITE: this is what second chances are all about

DAVESPRITE: its just...

DAVESPRITE: you

JADE: ...

JADE: grrr...!!!

JADE: you cant just explain away everything like that! thats such bullshit

DAVESPRITE: how do you want me to explain it

DAVESPRITE: you want me to say we were a thing in the other universe

DAVESPRITE: me and jade

DAVESPRITE: and we were the only ones who had each other seeing as john fucked off somewhere in the peace corps

DAVESPRITE: his dad died dave was dead you never got in contact with him again

DAVESPRITE: real soon after that rose went missing didnt know what to do about that

DAVESPRITE: it was just me and you at skaianet trying to keep shit together for the rest of the world

DAVESPRITE: all until fish bitch took over

DAVESPRITE: and then

DAVESPRITE: you were gone too

DAVESPRITE: and there wasnt a single fucking thing i could about it(edited)

JADE: ...

JADE: or maybe you just decided im not good enough for you anymore

JADE: now that i know what i want

DAVESPRITE: thats a whole lot of assumptions to make

DAVESPRITE: point is

DAVESPRITE: i wasnt going to let it happen again

DAVESPRITE: i came here to try again

DAVESPRITE: and ill keep tryin

DAVESPRITE: til theres nothing left of me to try for you anymore

DAVESPRITE: so hey i guess that makes two of us

DAVESPRITE: knowing what we want

JADE: g...rrr... JADE: rrrrRrRrRRrrr!!!

JADE: -her hands rise, clasping the sides of her head and fistfuls of wild dark hair, her growls almost pained in her throat before they rise, furious.-

JADE: BARK!!!!!

DAVESPRITE: -hangs onto the coat pocket as she bark. Then reaches up to pat at her with a bird claw.-

DAVESPRITE: can i come up

JADE: you...!!!

JADE: -She can't stop growling, and all the things in her say OBEY, and her hand twitches until it's abruptly in her pocket, and because it's Jade, because it's still her, the first thing she thinks to do is wrap her hand around the tiny sprite and throw him.-

DAVESPRITE: -promptly flung and none too gently. Gravity isn't a thing he should worry about and with his equalibrium balancing out... he hovers back up in the air. A small ball of light some good distance away, eyes trained on her.-

DAVESPRITE: cant fight it on your own jade even i cant tell you to do that

DAVESPRITE: but i still want to stay with you

DAVESPRITE: til we see this to the end

JADE: RRRRRRRRR...!

JADE: -she's flashing and surging bright rays of green, and she thinks about things she hasn't for a while. SUBMIT, says her brain.-

JADE: im going to find a way to kill you

DAVESPRITE: i know what i signed up for jade -in a small pulse of orange light, Davesprite's form shifts back to his former height. Wings raised and watchful of her movements.-

DAVESPRITE: im here til then

DAVESPRITE: eye on the prize

DAVESPRITE: not for anyone but you

DAVESPRITE: lets go

JADE: rrr stop kidding yourself davesprite!!

JADE: youre not my dave and im NOT your jade!!!

DAVESPRITE: -his heart seems to pound, high with emotion he couldn't articulate. But still DS presses on, despite the way she snaps and snarls at him.- youre the jade im here for no matter how you slice it

DAVESPRITE: my jades gone shes not coming back and i never saw that coming

DAVESPRITE: she didnt

DAVESPRITE: she never got to say what she wanted 

DAVESPRITE: but i do

 DAVESPRITE: im not letting that happen to you again

JADE: i!! dont!! CARE!!!!!!

JADE: -Despite the words, the emotion is clearly high in her as well -- conflict, rage... but something more beneath it all. She lunges for him from the rooftop, like there isn't stories between them and the ground.-

DAVESPRITE: -lunges if she wants, Davesprite swings in the air only to fly at her. Fully intending to collide with her midair.-

JADE: -WELL SHE CERTAINLY CAN'T STOP THEIR MOMENTUM. She's going to straight up tackle him in the air.-

JADE: -DOOF!!! It would almost be hilarious if it weren't so terrible.-

DAVESPRITE: -secures arms around her as they spin in the air. All squawks and feathers and barks. DOOF IS CORRECT. Even with the force, Davesprite holds her. Burying himself with her as if he's truely afraid she'll fall. Wings flap.-

JADE: -But she doesn't. For just a moment or two, they cling together in the air, and then the bright green shocks back to life.-

JADE: -All around them is blackness and the scattered brightness of stars.-

JADE: -And then she shoves him away from her, disappearing in the same glimmer of light they came through together and leaving him in the void alone.-

DAVESPRITE: -a million miles away from Earth, he can still feel the thread of connection. She had the pendant. He would find his way back to her when she needed him to. But until then, Davesprite lets himself float. Wishing he could close his eyes and sleep.-