#its like what happened during another groups concert

[yuyuyunnie]

Call For Me | J.WY

𝓹𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: mad hatter! wooyoung x reader (fem)

𝓼𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂: You find yourself going back to this same dream, struggling to get to the end. To your surprise, at the end of the hill, a man was waiting for you. His grin wide and his eyes lust-filled, Wooyung planned on making you come back to Wonderland.

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: unprotected sex (pls wrap up!), oral (f receiving), fingering, some name-calling, slight choking

𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽: 4.5k

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮: Alice in Wonderland is my favorite Disney movie. There was this video from a concert of Wooyoung and it completely sent me into a spiral and created this desire to write him as the Mad Hatter. I hope you guys enjoy it!

⁂𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽⁂

Your chest rose up and down at an ungodly speed. Your fingers, legs, and toes twitched at every twig you swerved around. Your main focus was following the tail of a rather plump purple cat that turned around, its smile grinning from ear to ear. You reached and reached and reached until the floor fell from under you.

Fuck.

Sweat glistened against your body as your eyes scanned your room. You had another dream; another dream where you tried reaching the end of the hill where the cat was sending you too. Every time you reached the end, a sultry laughter rang through and you woke back up, covered in sweat from head to toe. 

You huffed, slinging your covers off your body before heading into the living room. Your roommates, Mingi and San, were sprawled out on the couch. San’s eyes landed on you and took on your disheveled form. 

“Another bad dream?” He hummed, tossing his popsicle stick onto the coffee table. 

You rolled your eyes, plopping down beside him, his arm slinging over your shoulder as you tried remembering exactly what the fat cat was saying to you. The dream was dark. All the trees were dead, and truthfully, the only true colors were the lights at the end of the hill. It shone bright like a lighthouse during a stormy night. You craved to reach the other side to see where that evil laughter was coming from. It sent shivers down your spine just remembering it, hearing the chuckle stemming from deep in the throat. 

“I can’t keep having these dreams,” You mumbled, rubbing your eyes. 

“What’s it about?” Mingi mused, leaning over so he could see you. 

You shrugged, “Every night it’s the same: I walk past this garden with talking flowers, follow a white rabbit, end up losing him, and find this purple cat with a ringed tail and wide grin. Then, in the end, whenever I wake up, a deep, evil laughter rings through and I fall through,” 

Mingi glanced at San, his eye widening before flopping back against the couch. You know they thought you were crazy. There couldn’t truly be any solution for what you’re feeling…could there? If it wasn’t significant, why do you keep having the same dre—

“Ow!”

You looked down, San had pinched you so hard that little crescents formed on your skin. You glared up at him, “What was that for?”

“Anytime you feel like you’re losing your mind, just call for me and I’ll pinch you to make sure you’re here with us,”

You eyed him, “I suppose that could work, but what about when I’m sleeping?”

“Well,” Mingi chuckled, “We’ll know because you’re the loudest talker in your sleep.” 

You blushed, your hand shooting to your mouth before you stood up. You sent a quick glare to Mingi before heading back to your room. You were determined to reach the end of the hill, to see what was happening. Your fingers twitched as you ran them through your hair, your mind going back to when you fell down the dark hole.

“Remember, she needs to find the Hatter,” You glanced over at the talking rose, who genuinely looked like your grandmother. 

“Indeed she does, but where does he stay? We haven’t seen Hatter in ages ever since the war with the Jabberwocky.”

“Jabberwocky?” You mumbled, brows furrowing together as the group completely ignored you. 

“Yes, yes, the Jabberwocky dumb girl,” This time a blue flower acknowledged you before shooing you away with her leaf…hand? 

“Follow me, dear,” The white rabbit whispered, tugging your fingers with his soft coated paws, “I believe I remember the way to the Hatter.” 

Nodding, you follow him into the woods, the garden of flowers gossiping as you faded away into the darkness. Your eyes raked over the scene: trees curling over, clouds filling the sky, and the only light shinning is the moon. Twigs snapped under your feet as you followed swiftly behind the rabbit. 

“The Hatter is a nice man, somewhat odd, but I’m sure he can help us out,” The rabbit more so said to himself. 

“Who is this…. Hatter?” You questioned. 

“Well, as you can tell from his name, he was once a Hatter, but after the war, his mind…lingered—“

“Lingered? I dare say he’s gone mad,” 

You jumped, cocking your head to the side at the sight of a purple cat floating in mid air. His eyes were glowing and his smile went ear to ear. He curled his head to the side, his eyes never leaving you. 

“And what’re you doing here, Cheshire?” The rabbit barked, his hands fidgeting around a small pocket watch.

“If you’re going to find the Hatter, best be on your way,” He jerked his head to the right.

You followed, your eyes coming to rest a glow emanating over the hill. You flicked your eyes back at the cat who was already smirking at you. Your skin itched with nerves, your stomach coiling at the idea of what’s over the hill. 

“I can take her from here, sweet Rabbit. I know you have other places to be, seeing as you keep checking your watch,” The cat chuckled, flipping mid air and gliding towards the hill. 

You glanced down at the rabbit, his little nose was twitching before he winced, taking off into the shrubbery. 

Your brows furrowed, “And where do you plan on taking me? Seems like everyone is completely ignoring me!” You stomped your foot, your arms crossing across your chest. 

The cat flipped backwards, his head hanging upside down as he glanced at you, his smile still glowing in the night. He slowly floated back towards you, his tail twitching back and forth. Your breath hitched in your throat as he was just a touch away.

“Not just anyone comes to these dreams. The Hatter demands to see you, he calls for you. Now, follow me.”

You smuggled your face into your pillow, screaming into the fluffy fabric. Who was the Hatter and why was he trying to get in contact with you through your dreams? You tossed your pillow to the side, your phone buzzing against the table. 

 From: Sannie

‘All good in there?’

You groaned, sending back a quick yes before slamming your phone back on the bedside table. 

“Calls for me… Calls for me,” 

You mumbled the phrase over and over again. Your teeth sank into your bottom lip as you pondered how the Hatter could call for you. Why were you so enticed to see this mystery figure? Just the name of the Hatter should send warning signs, but here you were, obsessing over the idea of finding this man. 

You tugged your light blue night gown down, the fabric riding up on your thighs as you scooted further into bed. 

“Hm, well, maybe I’ll call for him this time,” You whispered, “Hatter, Hatter, Hatter, Hatter,”

Your eyes popped open, and your feet smacked against the cobbled ground of the garden. You looked up into the sky, the clouds a purple hue and rain slightly tapping against your forehead. You fell back into this world. Hmm, maybe that did work. Shrugging your shoulders slightly, you followed the same path down to the talking flowers. 

“Hatter, Hatter,” You kept mumbling his name over and over again, hoping to stay in tune with your dream. 

“Oh, it’s you again,” 

You abruptly stopped, the white rabbit dashing out of the ferns before coming to a halt in front of your feet. You cocked your head to the side, eyeing the red eyed creature before clearing you throat. 

“The cat told me that I keep coming back here fore a reason and that the Hatter keeps calling for me.” You raised an eyebrow, “I think you know where he’s at,” 

The rabbit gulped, pulling at the collar of his jacket before pulling out his watch. The slight tick tick tick was the loudest thing in the garden. 

“I can’t guarantee that I can take you to him, but I can take you back to the Cheshire cat….he should know the way.” 

You grumbled, your stomach turning into knots. It never fails that you fall back into your reality every time you get to the hill by following the cat. Your feet kicked small pebbles as the rabbit took you past the gossiping flowers, and deep into the dark forest. You don’t remember the dream being as vivid as it is now. You can feel the air, feel the rain settling in. The breeze crept across your body, sending goosebumps over your exposed legs and arms. Your thighs felt warm in the breeze and your hair shifted behind you. This dream felt real, felt as if you were truly in this wonderland. 

As if on cue, the smiling cat appeared out of thin air, his grin exposing his hiding spot. You eyed him as he had the same conversation with the rabbit. Before long, the rabbit ditched you once again, leaving you with the floating animal as he bobbed up and down his little path. Your palms were sweaty with anticipation. 

But not for long.

The clinking of tea cups and spoons colliding together filled your ears. Your heart fluttered at the sound and sped up, the glow of the hill becoming more prominent. The Cheshire cat came to a stop, a low chuckle coming from him. Coming to his side, your eyes fixated on the scene before you: a worn-out windmill, multiple tables put together, and a dirty, white tablecloth draped over them; tea cups, kettles, food, plates—everything that could ever be at a tea party littered the table. Not only that, another rabbit sat at the table along with a mouse. 

Best of all, a young male sat at the end of the table, a tall hat adorned his head as he gnawed at his fingers. Your eyes never left him, a strong dark aura surrounding his body as he eyed the rabbit and mouse as they laughed and giggled across the table to each other. Before long, his eyes graced the table before landing on you, heat dropping to the pit of your stomach. 

“I believe we have found him,” The cat murmured, floating down the rest of the hill. 

Following suit, you trailed behind the cat, never taking your eyes off the young man. His eyes roamed your body, landing on your bare thighs multiple times. You clenched your thighs with each step, your body becoming hot under his stare. You have never seen this man before, and don’t even know why he keeps ‘calling for you’. 

“It’s about time you showed up,” His voice bellowed across the table, hitting you in the pit of your stomach. “I was beginning to think you didn’t want to come.” His mouth spread into a wide grin, his teeth shining as bright as the cats. 

“I-I kept trying-“

“Not trying hard enough, darling, for I had to sit here for days, staring at this ungodly clock tick-tick-ticking away,” He stared at the watch in his hand before tossing it onto the table, the ticking coming to a halt. “And now here you are! Welcome! Welcome! Sit down, have some tea.” 

A loud laugh bellowed through his mouth as he kicked back in his chair, his feet propped at the edge of the table. You weren’t too sure what was exactly happening. The Cheshire took it upon himself to sit at the opposite end of the table, one furry paw gripping a teacup and the other stirring his drink. 

“Well, are you going to sit?”

With the snap of his fingers, your body jolted forward, smacking down against cold wood. You gasped, glancing up and seeing the young man sitting beside you. His eyes were covered in black, the makeup oozing down from his waterline. The rest of him was covered in black clothing, pieces of random items put together and his feet laced in leather boots. You couldn’t take your eyes off him. In a perfect world, your reality, he could be a celebrity with his looks. The… Hatter… was a handsome man, and you wouldn’t deny it. 

“Who are you?” You whispered, cocking your head to the side as you quizzed him. 

He leaned forward, his head cocking to the side before letting out a deep chuckle, sending heat down your body.

“I’m the Hatter, of course,” He smiled, his teeth shinning white. “I’ve been eyeing you for a while, darling,”

“How?” You spit out, toying with your fingers.

He smirked, “I know everything about you, sweet girl. I know when you go home, when you cry, when you’re…pleasuring yourself,” 

Your cheeks flushed, your mind racing with numerous thoughts on how the fuck this was happening. You peered across the table; the rest of the table were chatting amongst themselves, completely oblivious to the obscene comment that left the Hatter's mouth. You jerked your head back towards him, his eyes growing a shade darker as he scanned your face. 

“March Hare,” He hummed, his eyes lazily falling onto the rabbit, hare… “Do you mind moving the party elsewhere? I’d like to speak to Y/N alone,”

You twitched at the sound of your name. You don’t remember telling him who you were at all. You stared him down, his skin glowing with the moonlight. His shirt was slightly unbuttoned, his chest rising up and down slowly. 

Mumbling a quick yes, the hare took off with the mouse and Cheshire cat before leaving you with the Hatter. Your eyes fell back onto his figure, his eyes already staring you down. 

“How do you know my name?” You breathed out, toying with the hem of your dress. 

“Like I said,” He whispered, “I know everything about you. I’ve wanted to get you here, but my sweet girl, you keep failing.” He chuckled, “I remember someone telling you they would pinch you if you had another bad dream trying to find me.” 

Your breath hitched in your throat. How in the hell did he know about San’s comment towards you? Your mouth went dry as the Hatter smirked, seeing the confusion in your face. 

“H-How did you—“

“Know? I believe the question is: Is this dream a reality? Who could possibly tell?” 

Before you could respond, the Hatter sat up, his elbows resting against the table as he eyed you. Another wide grin settled on his face. 

“I think you should go back tonight, sweet girl. I believe I’ve wound your silly little brain up.” 

Before you could stop him, with the snap of your fingers, you fell back down through the ungodly floor before smacking against your bed. Jerking up, you scanned your room again for the second time tonight. Your face was covered in sweat and your nightgown rose to your stomach. Your hand filtered its way down to your panties, a damp spot hovering over your clit. It must’ve happened, surely? You remember his smile, the way his eyes bore into yours. 

Huffing, you throw the covers off you once again and march back into the living room. To your dismay, the boys were already in their rooms. Looking towards the kitchen, the clock read half past 3 in the morning. Your head slowly turned, your eyes falling onto San’s door. How did the Hatter know that San said that to you? You slowly began creeping, your feet padding against the floor softly. Your hand reached out to grab San’s door handle, but all of a sudden, your eyes went black.

Your body dropped back into the mysterious world. Your vision blurred as your body slumped against the cold wooden chair that you just inhabited moments ago. You gasped, your eyes shooting open as realization hit. The Hatter was standing in front of you, his body leaning against the table. His head cocked to the side, and low tsks escaped his mouth as he stared down at you. 

“My sweet girl, why annoy a dear friend over my knowledge?” He leaned down, his eyes coming into view with yours, “I want to be rough with you.” His veiny hands reached out and fell upon your thighs. Your breath hitched in your throat as you trembled at the touch, “I want to feel the way your pussy throbs around my dick. I know you’ve been a naughty, sweet girl, I can smell it.” 

Your legs clenched, his eyes darting down to the movement before smirking. He squatted, both his hands gripping the side of your thighs before pulling them apart. The cold air on your aching pussy caused you to shiver. He slowly licked his lips before looking back at you. 

“Who are you?” You breathed out, your cheeks rosy from embarrassment and slight infatuation. 

He smiled, “I’m Wooyoung, of course, and I’ve known you for a while, sweet girl. All thanks to your friend, I’ve been able to live freely in your mind, learning who you are, what you like, what turns you on,” He licked his lips, his thumb grazing over your smooth skin. 

“What friend?” You breathed out.

His eyebrow cocked up, “San, of course. Who else?” He tilted his head to the side, his eyes boring into you. 

Before you could answer, Wooyoung’s lips made contact with your skin, kissing up the bare skin. His eyes looked at you through his lashes, his tongue leaving a small trail of spit behind him. His fingers curled around your panties, pulling the fabric down, groaning at the sight of your juices stringing along, never snapping until his fingers ran through it. 

“God,” He groaned, finally dropping to his knees, “I’ve been waiting for this,”

Wooyoung’s head dipped between your thighs, his nose brushing against your clit as his tongue slipped into your sopping core. Your head flung back, soft moans escaping your throat as his tongue lapped at your core. You knocked his hat off, his thick, black hair threading through your fingers as you gripped on for dear life. Pulling his head back, Wooyoung replaced his nose with his thumb, drawing quick circles around your bundle of nerves. 

“You taste so good, darling. You’re so naughty for escaping into this reality with me,” 

You dropped your head, your eyes lazily watching him as he licked his lips before diving back down into your sopping mess. Your mind was hazed over with sultry thoughts. However, it kept flicking back to San, and how Wooyoung knew him.

Before you could slip into deep thought, your stomach curled as Wooyoung replaced his tongue with his fingers and began thrusting into you. Gasping, you felt your core pull tighter and tighter.

“Woo-Wooyoung!” 

You screamed, your orgasm rushing down his fingers as he fucked you through your orgasm. Chuckling, Wooyoung pulled his fingers out, your juices pooling in his hands. Looking down, you watched as Wooyoung placed the fingers in his mouth, his eyes never leaving yours as he sucked on your sweet release. Moaning, his eyes rolled into the back of his head before he stood up. 

“I knew you’d taste good. I knew by the way your pussy was sopping just seeing me sitting here that it’d taste good.” He smirked, “You’re such a naughty, pathetic little girl for me, Y/N” 

Gripping your chin, Wooyoung forced your mouth open, dropping your release onto your tongue “Taste yourself.” 

You swallowed his spit, eyeing him as he let go of your chin. His boner pressed against his pants, his length showing through. You gulped, your mouth dropping at the sight. Your mind couldn’t comprehend what was going on at all. Here you were, fucked out just by the tongue of this man, in some unknowing world. 

A slow grin spread across his face, his fingers toying the edge of the chair as he slowly walked around you. The tip of his finger stopped on your shoulder, trailing slowly down your arm, leaving goosebumps behind. Your breath was shaky, your mind completely zoned out as he squatted back down in front of you. 

“Being inside of your dreams wasn’t good enough for me,” He whispered, his lips coming in contact with your thighs, sucking the sweet skin before letting go with a wet pop. “I’m so glad your sweet mind finally found its way to me.” 

Your eyes raked over him, “How am I here?”

He chuckled, “That’s for another day, my sweet darling, but for now, I just want to fuck you.”

Before you could protest, Wooyoung grabbed your arm, hoisting you up onto your legs. His fingers gripped your light blue gown, tugging the fabric up before shoving you down onto the table. A low grunt passed your lips as he pressed his boner into your backside. A soft moan came from his lips as his hands roamed around the curve of your ass. 

“So pretty, so… mad,”

Pushing his pants down, Wooyoung gripped his aching dick, giving himself a few quick strokes. Your body was trembling as the tip of his dick circled your clit. Soft pants escaped your lip at the sensation, your legs already shaking. Smirking, Wooyoung guided his tip up and down, coating himself in your juices. 

“Are you ready, sweet girl?” His words warmed your ear, sending a shutter down your body. 

“Y-Yes,” You breathed out, arching your back into him.

“Good,” He growled.

Giving one quick slap to the side of your thigh, Wooyoung pushed himself in, a loud gasp leaving your lips as a low growl escaped his. Your pussy clenched around his dick, your body warm and cozy just for him. He definitely stretched you out, filling you up to the brim. Tears filled your eyes, your nipples aching against the table at the sensation of your body being pleasured. 

“Please move,” You gasped, rocking your hips back into him. 

He smirked, his fingers ghosting the skin of your ass, “As you wish,” 

Pulling back, Wooyoung rammed his hips into your backside. The skin-to-skin contact rang through the forest, nothing could be heard but your juices squelching against him; not even the birds were chirping. 

“This is fucking impossible,” You moaned out, pulling your bottom lip in-between your teeth, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as his cock rammed into your cervix over and over again.

“Only if you believe it is, my sweet girl,” 

His tongue lapped at the side of your neck, his right hand coming up to wrap around your throat, squeezing ever so gently around the column of your neck. Sweet gasps left your lips making Wooyoung’s cock throb at the sound. His mind was going animalistic at the sight of you bent on his table, with his cock deep inside of you, your juices running down your legs and onto his pants. He’s only ever wanted you here; wanted you here in his world where he can truly be himself, the Mad Hatter. His dreams ran wild with the thought of getting you to yourself, and now, here you were, so pretty underneath him. 

“I-I’m about to cum,” You moaned, back arching more and more as his tip pressed against your g-spot over and over. 

Hearing this, Wooyoung pulled out immediately, dropping to his knees and pressing his tongue deep inside of you. Screaming, you ground your clit against his nose and released your orgasm. All you could hear was Wooyoung slurping up your juices and his fingers massaging the back of your thighs. You couldn’t think straight, your mind hazy from what happened. 

Wooyoung plopped himself down on his chair, the red velvet blending in perfectly with his all-black attire. Your arms shook as they held you up against the table, your eyes landing on the sight before you. Wooyoung’s cock stood straight up, his hand pumping the irritated skin so sweetly, so, so… fuck you couldn’t even begin to describe it. Sweat glistened across his chest, his breaths slightly heaving as he sat there and stared at your rosy cheeks. 

“Come ride me, darling,” He gently patted his thigh, “I want to feel that sweet pussy convulse around me before I send you back,”

You nodded your head, taking baby steps to him making sure not to fall from how weak your thighs were. Spreading his legs further, Wooyoung placed his hands on your hips, guiding your drenching pussy down his cock. A long whimper left his throat, his breath fanning against your face. You stared at him, your eyes taking in his face. He was so fucking beautiful, so ethereal. One hand gripped his shoulder while the other lightly gripped his neck. He smirked before leaning in, pressing his soft lips against yours. 

“You’ve made my wait worthwhile, dear. Now remember,” Wooyoung adjusted himself, slightly picking you up from your ass, “Whenever you need me, need me to fix your little issue,” He patted your ass, “Call for me,” 

Wooyoung dropped you, his dick slamming against your cervix. You moaned, your body bouncing with the speed of his thrusts. Your breast bounced up and down in front of him, his fingers toying with the rosebuds that peaked through your nightgown. Your head lulled back, black and white spots adorning your vision. 

“I’m fixing to cum again,” You whispered, licking your lips as you brought your head back. 

Wooyoung’s tongue was toying his lips, his eyes focused on where your pussy and his dick connected. His cheeks began to flush, his chest slightly red as well. 

“Cum for me, sweet girl. Cum around my cock so I have a reason to keep waiting,” 

As if on cue, your body convulsed to his words, your pussy clenching around his dick. 

“Fuck!”

His hips jerked, smacking against your bottom faster as he reached his own climax. Wooyoung panted, his seed coating your inside as you slumped down onto his chest. His hands wrapped around you, peppering sweet kisses along your shoulders. You could’ve passed out right there, but Wooyoung patted your butt and lifted you up. 

“What’re you doing?” You mumbled, squeezing your thighs together to keep the cum from dripping down your legs. 

He smiled, pulling his pants up, running his fingers through his hair, “You’ve got to go back,”

“Wait—“

Wooyoung snapped his fingers and there you were, falling once again and landing with a soft thud onto your bed. You shot up, running your fingers over your face. 

“What the fuck!” 

You jerked your head towards your window, sunlight was beaming in. You glanced down at your thighs and saw the love bites that Wooyoung had left on your thighs. It happened. You finally reached the end of the hill and came back with this. Your body shivered remembering what just happened. Tossing your covers back, you open your bedroom door and see San and Mingi standing by the door. 

“What’s up?” You mumbled, wiping your face. 

“Uh…” San rubbed the back of his head, “Someone’s here to see you.”

Taking a step to the side, San revealed who was at the door. Your mouth dropped, your pussy clenching at the sight. 

“Hello, my sweet darling”

© yuyuyunnie, 2024.

[linogram]

pissing me off

[mechaknight-98]

Out of Sight(NSFW) FT Jihyo

Author’s Notes: the absolute chokehold this woman has on me is insane. You can probably blame @smuttysabina for that because of that one fanfic (that writer knows the one) and also blame jade from warframe because the warframe itself reminded me of Jihyo and now my brain is worse off because of it, but lastly blame the writer who asked me to do my riff on “love after domination” here’s my take on it. Instead of going sentai though I went more for an Ultraman style which will become clearer as to why if I write more. So please bear with me.

The usually excitable Diabolos was unusually perplexed and stoic. As he walked into the bathroom during the concert of one of his favorite groups Twice He saw Jihyo the leader sitting on the toilet. Despite her exposed nature she still looked radiant as if on stage she looked even better this close to Diabolos.

However, Diabolos was a gentleman of sorts and wanted to keep things proper so he nodded silently and walked out of the restroom before Jihyo called out to him.

“Wait mister come back.” Diabolos against his better judgment turned back and looked at Jihyo who stared at him with big soft eyes full of concern

“Can I ask a favor, mister?” Jihyo asked. Diabolos nodded wordlessly and with a slow movement.

“Can you not tell anyone about this?” Jihyo asked and she received another slow nod from Diabolos. Jihyo smiled in a way that melted Diabolos’s heart. As she finished up in the bathroom she kissed Diabolos’s cheek. Before scurrying off. Diabolos squinted trying to process what just happened. When he went to the restroom and made sure to lock it so he wouldn’t have unexpected visitors. When he finished he went back to his seat. To enjoy the rest of the concert.

He paid special attention to Jihyo. What he didn’t know was that while he was looking for her in all the stages she was looking for him in the crowd. Despite the massive crowd she was determined to find him. She would scan an area for his hat which had her romanized name in pretty letters before moving on to an area.

During one of the breaks, Dahyun noticed her leader was super focused during the performance on the crowd and wanted to make sure she was okay.

“Jihyo-unnie are you okay you looked so intense on stage. Jihyo nodded and replied,

“There was this boy I met when I went to the bathroom who had my name on his hat and I was trying to find him.”

Dahyun smiled then said, “Oh well then let me help you find him. You know two pairs of eyes are better than one.” Jihyo smiled and said

“Thanks, Dubu.” Dahyun nodded and gave a thumbs-up. After this, it was time for them to go back up and do their joint sub-unit with Sana who also agreed to help. Eventually with all of them looking they found their guy he was in the left corner of the excited arena. Dubu’s eagle eyes were the first to spot him, and let Jihyo and Diabolos have their moment as they locked eyes Diabolos felt butterflies in his chest. It feels like Jihyo is staring right at him as she sings push and pull.

For a moment the rest of the arena fades away and it’s just Jihyo and Diabolos. They look at each other and as they get a feel for each other’s vibe Jihyo sees the fire and passion in Diabolos while Diabolos feels the heart and charm.

After the concert, Diabolos heads to a burger joint on the way home. Its familiar white and red architecture is comforting to the weird hole gnawing itself in the young man. As he sits there and tries to reduce his post-concert depression his eyes track the motion of the door that opens and the subsequent bodies that enter the restaurant. When he does his eyes meet a familiar pair of brown eyes and his heart races. Jihyo sees Diabolos in the restaurant and quickly mirrors his shyness as she’s hoping not to be recognized. Sana sees this and after the order pushes Jihyo to interact with him. Obviously, in her mind, they are meant to be or at least meet each other.

Jihyo sits across from Diabolos with a shy smile

Diabolos shyly looks up at Jihyo and says “Hi.” Jihyo smiles back and then as if they’ve known each other forever they start chatting

“Your performance was stellar as always.” Diabolos initiated

Jihyo smiles, “Why thank you. I love your hat who made it?”’

Diabolos chuckles, “I made the logo then had it embroidered on.”

Jihyo beams, “I love that. Do you have another one?” Diabolos considers for a moment then says,

“You can have this one.” Jihyo's eyes grow to the size of saucers as Diabolos gently places the black dad hat with her embroidered name in red on her head. She joyfully beams as she feels the comfort it provides.

As he finished the cashier called his name.

“Diabolos your order is ready.” Diabolos gets up feeling bold and says to Jihyo

“Well, Yo-yo looks like our time is up. I’ll see you when I see you.” Before going up picking up his food and leaving. Jihyo watched as he left transfixed. How strange he didn’t talk to her like she was God Jihyo's leader twice but like she was just another person. After the exchange, Sana sat next to Jihyo and teased her

“Yo-yo that’s a new one.” Jihyo was still bewildered by this guy. Then said

“I want to see him again,” she opened her phone and pulled out Instagram where she was bombarded by webtoons, lol videos, and beauty tips she entered search and typed Diabolos to the best of her ability. After 15 or so minutes she found him.

To keep track of him she took a picture of her with her hat and tagged him. The caption read, “A cool once gave me this cool hat.”

Surmising that he wouldn’t be able to avoid her or resist responding she set her phone down and addressed Sana.

“Hey Unnie how did you…”

The next day Diabolos wakes up to a crazy surprise of over 1800 direct messages asking him for hats or variants of it for different members of twice. He squints at the messages and then sighs before combing through them listing all the major requests and all of the minor ones. After he was done it seemed like it was roughly 200 per member so he got to work designing logos/ symbols for each member and making a website. After spending much of the day doing that he linked it to his page the saw that Jihyo had tagged him in her post with the hat.

“That clever little sneak,” Diabolos said as began writing a reply comment

“Thanks, Yo-yo,” Jihyo smiles as she starts singing Moonlight Sunrise

Over the next few weeks, Jihyo attempts to send a dm to Diabolos but can’t due to numerous schedules and concerts. At the same time, Diabolos also tries to send a message to Jihyo while building a small indie fashion brand.

9 weeks later the two are finally free of the hectic mess of concerts and satisfying orders. Diabolos reaches out to Jihyo.

“Hey, Yo-yo thanks for the shout-out I appreciate it. How was the rest of the tour?”

When Jihyo saw the message she smiled and said, “Got ya.”

“Well I had to do something to be able to see you again,” Jihyo typed.

Diabolos smirks at Jihyo's message

“I’d love to but I have to ask is this a date?”

The message popped into Jihyo’s inbox. She laughed before responding

“Maybe…I want you all to myself.” She typed and cringed.

“I’m spending too much time with Sana,” Jihyo thought to herself.

Diabolos saw the message then smiled decided to tease Jihyo,

“Wait I thought you were dating this one dude the buff gym guy?”

Jihyo read Diabolos’s message and pouted before typing back

“Have you seen me with him?”

Diabolos furrowed his brow, “That doesn’t answer my question,” he typed

Jihyo smirked back in control, “Tell you what how about you visit me and then I’ll answer your question.”

Diabolos sighed and then typed “fine” before rolling his eyes and setting his phone down. In the spur of the moment, he had an idea for more merch and began sketching a design.

When he finished his first sketch Jihyo texted him back,

“Really (crying emoticon)” the text read.

Diabolos responded yes and Jihyo cheered

“Thank you thank you thank you, Dio.” Jihyo sent it before she could finish her text.

Diabolos raised an eyebrow before texting back “Dio?”

Jihyo panicked but held firm, “Sorry spell check didn’t work.”

Diabolos smirked

“Dio… I like it.” Jihyo smiled and said

“Well then Dio it is!” Jihyo replied elated. When she calmed down enough she sent the message saying, “But really, you should visit Korea. I’d love to show you around.”

After that Diabolos decided to show Jihyo his new design he was dubbing Chibihyo. It was a little chibi version of her.

When Jihyo saw it she smiled and typed, “Oh is that me? It’s so cute. I WANT IT!!!!”

Diabolos laughed and responded, “I’ll give you the prototypes when I finish them.” Jihyo smiled in response.

After a few minutes, Jihyo got bold and said, “Hey what are you doing in 9 weeks?”

Diabolos raised an eyebrow, “nothing?” He text back. Jihyo smiled and then sent

“You wanna go to Thailand with me?”

Thinking Jihyo was joking Diabolos responded, “Sure! Sounds like a blast.”

Jihyo unable to read Diabolos’s sarcasm responded, “Great! I’ll send you the information later.”

Realizing he was S.O.L. He resigned to his fate.

“Guess I’m going to Thailand,” he said to himself.

The week before leaving for Thailand Diabolos successfully filled all his first-wave orders and was now accepting the second-wave of orders. His net revenue for the venture was 180% bigger than the salary of his office job which he quit the week after he got everything set up.

His dad was surprised by his success but abundantly grateful and impressed at his resourcefulness to turn the opportunity in his favor.

On the day of leaving for Thailand Diabolos Sr. Prayed for his son’s safety and that no war would chase him.

Upon arriving Diabolos checked into the hotel and went looking for Jihyo who said she would be in Bangkok when he flew in.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm golden glow over the bustling streets of Bangkok, Diabolos found himself standing at the entrance of a cozy, riverside restaurant. The air was filled with the scent of spices and the sound of laughter and clinking glasses. He adjusted his shirt, feeling a mix of excitement and nervous anticipation.

Jihyo had suggested Thailand for their first date, a place she had visited once before, adding an element of adventure to their meeting. As he scanned the crowd, his eyes landed on Jihyo, who was walking toward him with a radiant smile, her eyes sparkling with the same excitement he felt. Her multicolored dress beautifully adorned her body as it wrapped around her vixen figure.

"Hey, Yo-yo," Diabolos greeted, offering a shy smile as she approached.

"Hi, Dio," Jihyo replied warmly, her cheeks flushed with the evening heat and the thrill of finally being together.

They settled at a table overlooking the Chao Phraya River, the water reflecting the city lights like a shimmering mosaic. As they browsed the menu, filled with exotic Thai dishes, they exchanged stories of their recent adventures and laughed over shared memories of their online exchanges.

The conversation flowed easily, with Jihyo teasing Diabolos about his ever-growing hat business and Diabolos playfully asking about her latest performances. Their playful banter was punctuated by moments of shared silence, comfortable and filled with the unspoken connection that had drawn them to this moment.

After dinner, they decided to explore the vibrant night market nearby, where they wandered through the colorful stalls, tasting street food and picking out small trinkets for each other. Diabolos found himself drawn to Jihyo's laughter and enthusiasm, and as they wandered through the bustling market, it felt as if they were in their world, untouched by the chaos around them.

As the night drew to a close, they found a quiet spot by the river, where they sat side by side, watching boats drift lazily along the water. Jihyo leaned her head on Diabolos's shoulder, and he felt a sense of contentment he hadn't expected.

"Thank you for coming all the way here," Jihyo said softly.

Diabolos smiled, wrapping an arm around her. "I wouldn't have missed it for the world."

Jihyo smiled, “So Korea next time right Dio?” Jihyo asked. Diabolos nodded before he remembered.

“Out of his backpack, he took a red and black dad hat out of it and handed it to Jihyo who squealed with Glee seeing it.

“Ooh, I love it,” she said

As I pulled by puppet strings Diabolos said, “Well I love you so we are even.” Jihyo turned to him puzzled but smiled. The weight of Diabolos’s words didn’t hit him till he was back in his hotel room.

When Diabolos gets back he officially launches wave 2 of his fashion brand to include new designs, shirts, socks and shorts. He also expanded outside of K-pop merch and into some of the other nerdy stuff he was into; Super Sentai, Kamen Rider, Daemon x Machina, and a few other things. If the first wave was a success the second one was more so. Half of his stock sold out in minutes. A week and a half later everything was sold. Surprised at the success he takes a step back to consider his next few moves when Jihyo texts him.

“I tried getting one of everything I didn’t have, but your website sold out.” She said

Diabolos laughed then said, “Don’t worry Yo-yo tell me what you wanted and if it was for you or someone else.

Jihyo smiles as she texts him back the list of gifts (for her members) and items she wanted.

Diabolos was surprised when that list had several of the Kamen Rider and Super Sentai pieces, but Diabolos happily took it in stride.

After that Twice had a major performance in Seoul which Diabolos was going to. He surprised Jihyo when she looked into the crowd and saw someone holding a memorial Ultraman Orb Ring. When she looked down to see who had it she rolled her eyes but smiled brightly.

After the performance, the rest of Twice decided to meet the mysterious “Dio” Jihyo kept texting and mentioning.

So Sana secretly swiped Sana’s phone and told Diabolos to meet Jihyo tomorrow at the address where they’d be having lunch together Tomorrow.

Like a lamb to the slaughter, Diabolos shows up Happily. When he arrives he is mercilessly interrogated by all the members, culminating in them dubbing him an acceptable choice for Jihyo. To cement this both Sana and Momo joke that if it doesn’t work out between Jihyo and him. he should reach out to them. Diabolos politely declines and Jihyo sends him a text to her at her place for dinner after this.

Diabolos was unsure of what to expect when Jihyo invited him to her place. He figured a movie maybe some chatting then he leaves. He opened the door and was surprised to see Jihyo waiting for him in a ravishing red dress with a candlelight dinner. Diabolos smiles and then gestures to the table seat across from her. Diabolos sits across from her. Jihyo’s gaze is intense and sultry. She smiled when he took his seat.

“Wow, you look amazing as always Yo-yo.” Jihyo beams at Diabolos

“You look great as well.”

“I feel underdressed. I thought this would be casual.” Jihyo panics before responding

“Oh is this too much? I’m sorry.”

“No it’s fine I’ll try to be better next time.”

Jihyo smiles and then eases, back into the chair. The two eat, catch up, and exchange pleasantries. The atmosphere of Jihyo’s small apartment soon begins to brim with romantic energy that both parties aren’t prepared for fully. After the meal, Diabolos notices Jihyo’s computer and sees that she was playing LOL earlier. Hoping to ease his racing heart he says to her

“Oh, you play league.”

Jihyo smiles and nods.

“I’m not very good though. I mostly play Jungle mid and top lane.” She replies

“Oh funny I play jungle ADC” Diabolos replies and Jihyo smiles. She moves closer. Her hand lands on Diabolos’s thigh.

“So Dio. It’s me and you alone. Is there anything you want?” Overwhelmed Diabolos sat silently until Jihyo pulled him into a passionate kiss. She hops onto his lap before breaking the kiss. Diabolos is breathless.

“Are you gonna be good for mommy?” Jihyo asks. Diabolos nods dizzy. Jihyo smiles before saying, “I am going to ride you until you can’t form a coherent thought.” As she said it she grinded her ass on Diabolos’s crotch before moaning. Diabolos tries to focus but her kisses overwhelm him. His mind starts to go blank as Jihyo takes off her dress revealing the sexy lingerie underneath her overwhelming sexual energy mixed with his eradicating all thoughts from both of their minds except the singular impulse to breed. Diabolos strips and Jihyo pounces on him. She wraps her delicate arms around the bigger man before whispering in his ear.

“I’m so fucking wet for you,”

Diabolos grunts as tries to find something on her marvelous body to focus on but all he can do is let her do what she wants. She pushes Diabolos onto her couch where their eyes lock and through a lustful fog one message is clear

“We belong together.”

Diabolos aligns his cock with Jihyo’s entrance and slowly eased in. Despite Jihyo’s experience and excitement, the walls challenged Diabolos’s cock with fervor. She wanted to be bred but her body wanted him to earn it.

“Fuck you’re so tight,” Diabolos says overwhelmed.

Jihyo moans and roars out then “tame my pussy then mold me in the shape of your cock.” Her words set off the first of multiple cascading triggers in Diabolos’s nervous system. As he inches in to fill her to the brim overtakes him causing him to ram himself the rest of the way. Jihyo’s mind melts in a mix of pleasure and pain as Diabolos claims her as his. Her eyes roll back as he begins to thrust into her.

Jihyo relaxes and her body welcomes him in as he thrusts in and out of her. “Put a baby in me!” Jihyo demands. Diabolos can only grunt as his reptilian impulses brain is doing all the work rutting and fucking this beautiful, sexy, and fertile woman.

“Make me a real mommy!” Jihyo encouraged and Diabolos flipped her onto the couch before lifting her legs.

“Oh, you brute. Good to know our children will be strong,” Jihyo moaned as her body fully submitted to Diabolos.

Her walls opened up to be wetter and more accommodating for him and after a few more thrusts he came violently in her pussy.

Jihyo’s sultry smile was fixed upon Diabolos. “You’re mine now.” She said possessive. Diabolos nodded still transfixed by her. As he slowly pulled out Jihyo’s orgasm hit her violently. She came and squirted all over her apartment’s floor. When she calmed down she gazed upon Diabolos like a proud lioness and said,

“Do you have any more in the tank for Mommy?”

Jihyo watched as Diabolos grew again under her sultry gaze.

“Bedroom now!” she purred

Diabolos tried to resist his impulses but buried himself inside Jihyo. She moaned in pleasure but slapped him.

“No mommy said bedroom now,” Jihyo said but she could not yell loud enough to volume the demands to breed her burning and screaming through Diabolos’s body.

Diabolos grabbed her hips before slamming into her again as both of their minds became lust-addled mush. As Diabolos thrust into her sloshing cunt Jihyo’s bodacious boobs bounced buoyantly hypnotizing him to fill her with more of his seed.

Jihyo moans for Diabolos to breed her and luckily he does. Jihyo moans and cums at the same time Diabolos does before they both crash on her wet couch. Jihyo looks at Diabolos before going to his neck and marking him.

“You’re mine now,” she reiterates shyly

Diabolos looks at her and boldly says, “Are you sure? because I’m crazy!” Jihyo smiled as her eyes glistened teal for a moment before she hugged Diabolos tight.

The next morning Diabolos and Jihyo woke up early they watched the sunrise on Jihyo's balcony.

[alicedrawslesmis]

(sorry this is from a week ago but) Wait, what's going on right now that's complicated with Amazonian farmers' land rights?

Not farmers, indigenous people

See, recently they put a new law through congress that severely reduces indigenous land to the borders established during the late dictatorship, or immediately post-dictatorship, in 1988. An absolute joke of a border that was dreamed up by some military assholes. People in america may recognize this type of society from the times of westward expansion and think this is a thing of the past because for you guys it is. But here it is a reality. Murder is rampant. The reach of the law is incredibly limited. Government is just too weak and landowners basically run things. THAT'S WHY it's so important to donate directly to the native peoples instead of random NGOs because native people are fucking there and the more power they hold in the land the safer the land will be from agroindustrial expansion.

Well the law was vetoed by the the president and the Supremo Tribunal Federal, aka supreme federal court, labeled it as unconstitutional. Which it is, because our 1988 constitution describes native american land rights in some of its first articles. We thought this would be it for the law

But then the senate (that already overrepresents landowners in rural states) just went along and approved it anyway. I had no idea they could approve something unconstitutional. The progressives and particularly the socialists are fighting this in court. But it happens that for now the legal border is the severely reduced version.

Doesn't mean they'll just give up, because as it happens we don't have any stand your ground laws so even if you own a piece of land, you cannot legally speaking just shoot everyone there. Or attack or threaten them in any way. They'll just have long legal battles individually for the rights to occupy land based on use. Also the Xingu national park, the largest preserved land of the Amazon described as 'larger than Belgium', is being encroached by huge farms that are poisoning their water supply. The border is Visible. I'll try to find video of it but essentially you have a forest and a desert separated by a strict line.

Just last week in the south of Bahia (not the Amazon, let me explain more about the Amazon situation in a bit) Hãhãhãe leadership Nega Muniz Pataxó was shot and killed by an armed militia group that invaded and occupied the Caramuru territory.

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The situation in the Amazon, specifically the yanomami territory in Roraima our northernmost state, aka deep forest, is more dire than average given difficulty of access, sheer size, and government abandonment. It's a place that depends on government aid for medicine. It's land that is being systematically invaded by gold miners, pandemic, toxins from nearby farmlands, wood extraction etc. (wood extration is rampant everywhere tho). Early 2023 saw a massive federal government operation by now president Lula to empty the mines and try to look for where funding comes from. Yanomami land is still being invaded to this day, the struggle is ongoing.

The yanomamis need support right now more than any other. Last year saw a massive heat wave that (well, one, caused a girl named Ana Clara Machado to die during the Taylor Swift concert. This is unrelated but I feel like not enough foreign media covered this, Taylor even lied about it as well.) dried up a lot of rivers, killed a LOT of fresh water animals including an unprecedented amount of pink dolphins. Access that was already hard became damn near impossible without boats. I cannot overstate how many pink dolphins were found dead.

Another technique that landowners use to clear space for farms is to just set things on fire and then occupy the empty land, which they legally can do to land that was naturally burned in a forest fire. It happened that Pantanal, another national park of swampland, was massively devastated by fires last year too

this article is from 2020, the year that the worst fire happened, but in 2023 there was another one. It's been happening yearly now due to a) deliberate action and b) climate change aggravation.

And this is not nearly all. Just off the top of my head. If you speak portuguese I recommend following the APIB or the COIAB on instagram to keep up with the news. The FUNAI is the government branch of indigenous organization, but it's not generally that well liked. Still.

[ducktoo]

Syncing Dream [Aespa x M!Reader]

30. End of the Tour

Note: end of Arc 4 is here! One of my fav chapters ngl. Also 🦈anon, hope this arc was fun for u!

Masterlist here

The lights dimmed, and the atmosphere buzzed with excitement as the final concert of aespa's international tour reached its emotional high point. The LA venue was packed with thousands of fans, their cheers echoing off the walls as the group stood on stage, soaking in the moment. It was a monumental day—not just for aespa but for everyone involved in making this tour a global success.

“Thank you so much!” Karina’s voice echoed across the massive venue. “This tour has been a dream come true, and it wouldn’t have been possible without your love and support!”

The other members added their thanks, but the biggest surprise came when the lights dimmed, and a large screen flickered on behind them. The girls turned around, confused at first, but quickly realized what was happening when the familiar faces of their team began to appear on screen.

The video started with clips from rehearsals, behind-the-scenes moments, and heartfelt messages from the production crew. The girls watched with wide smiles as their stylists, makeup artists, choreographers, and even the catering staff took turns congratulating them. The atmosphere backstage was filled with a mixture of excitement and sentimentality.

Then, the teasing started.

Jihoon, one of the managers who had helped Y/n during the tour, appeared on screen with a grin. “Congrats on the successful tour, aespa! And to Y/n… man, I still can’t believe you survived that viral Supernova dance. Legendary.”

Another manager, Joon, chuckled as his clip played. “Y/n, you’re one strong and brave guy. I heard fans are still talking about your dance cover. Better watch out—they might ask for an encore!”

Minji's turn was no less short of teasing her junior. "Congrats, my junior aespa! And I'm glad you have one heck of a guy to take care of you all!"

Y/n, watching from backstage, was already starting to feel the heat rise to his cheeks. He groaned and rubbed his face, knowing exactly what was coming next.

The final clip appeared, and sure enough, it was Y/n’s turn.

Y/n’s face appeared on the screen, and the audience erupted into laughter and cheers. He wasn’t on stage, but the entire arena felt his presence through that screen. The video began with him nervously rubbing the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable in front of the camera.

“Uh, hey,” Y/n started awkwardly, glancing away from the camera for a moment. “I wasn’t expecting to be included in this video, but I guess it’s happening… so here we go.”

The crowd’s laughter intensified, and Y/n’s video was only beginning.

“So, I just wanted to say congratulations to the idi- I mean, aespa. You girls have worked incredibly hard—like, seriously, harder than anyone I know. You’ve been amazing this entire tour, and I’m so proud to have been part of this journey with you.”

As he spoke, a short montage of clips featuring Y/n played on the screen. There was footage of him frantically managing logistics, goofing off with the group during rehearsals, and—of course—his now-famous viral dance cover of the Supernova dance break. The camera had finally caught him sneaking into an empty practice room, trying out the choreography, only for Ningning to catch him in the act and film the whole thing.

Y/n’s face on screen turned beet red as the audience erupted into more laughter at the dance clip.

“Okay, this part—” Y/n’s voiceover interrupted the dance clip, “—I wasn’t supposed to go viral, but thanks to our maknae Ning, the whole internet knows about it now. And, uh, yeah, I’m still alive… barely.”

The clip switched back to him, and Y/n was visibly flustered. “So, congrats again, aespa. You deserve all the success you’ve achieved, and here’s to many more moments like this—preferably without me becoming more viral than you guys.”

The screen faded to black, but not before showing one last shot of Y/n attempting to crawl under a table backstage, clearly wishing he could disappear after all the attention he had received.

The entire venue erupted into laughter and cheers once again, and even aespa couldn’t stop giggling. Winter was doubled over, clutching her stomach as she tried to catch her breath. Karina wiped tears from her eyes, still laughing.

“Oh my god,” Winter wheezed, barely able to stand straight. “I’m never letting this idiot live this down.”

Karina nodded, playfully wiping her eyes. “Y/n, you’re a legend now.”

Backstage, Y/n was leaning against a wall, watching the screen from afar. His face was flushed with embarrassment, and all he wanted to do was dig a hole and hide in it. He could hear the crowd’s laughter from where he stood, and it only made things worse.

“Why did they have to show that video?” he muttered to himself, running a hand through his hair. “I’m never going to hear the end of this.”

-

After the concert, the group gathered backstage for some celebratory snacks. The energy was still high, but now the girls were riding the wave of their triumph. They sat around, laughing and chatting about the show while the staff and other available SM groups came in to congratulate them.

Y/n sat in the corner, trying to keep a low profile after the video fiasco, but that didn’t last long. Karina spotted him and made a beeline straight toward him, dragging Winter and Giselle with her.

“You thought you could hide?” Karina teased, nudging him with her elbow. “Nice try.”

“Please,” Y/n groaned, covering his face with his hands. “I’ve had enough teasing for a lifetime.”

Giselle grinned and crossed her arms. “Oh, no, no. You’re part of us for a long time now. You’re never going to live this down.”

Winter giggled, sitting down beside him. “You’re famous. Own it.”

Y/n let out a long sigh, peeking out from between his fingers. “Can we just pretend the whole Supernova thing never happened?”

“Not a chance,” Winter replied with a mischievous smile. “In fact, I think we should make a new challenge for the next comeback. Armageddon Y/n full dance cover, anyone?”

“Yeah!” Giselle chimed in. “We’ll film you this time too.”

Y/n groaned again, but he couldn’t help but smile. As embarrassing as it all was, he couldn’t deny how much he’d come to love the chaos. The teasing, the laughter, the bond—it was all part of the journey.

-

The plane ride back to Seoul was quiet, the hum of the engines the only real noise in the cabin. Y/n sat in his seat, eyelids heavy from the whirlwind of the last few days. After their final world tour concert, the team had celebrated, laughed, and finally packed up for home.

Of course on their business seats, he glanced around—Karina was fast asleep, head leaning against the window, while Ningning was out cold under a blanket. Giselle was watching something on her tablet with headphones in, and Winter, sitting next to Y/n, was idly scrolling through her phone.

Y/n rubbed his face, letting out a yawn. "Finally", he thought. "I can get some proper sleep." The tour had been a massive success, but the constant planning, logistics, and running around had left him mentally and physically drained.

-

The moment the plane touched down, Y/n was ready to collapse. As the group disembarked, the girls chatted about how excited they were to go home, grab some rest, and eat their favorite foods.

“You okay, Y/n? You look like you’re about to pass out,” Giselle teased as they walked through the airport, dodging the early morning paparazzi and a few lingering fans.

“I’m good,” Y/n muttered, waving her off. “Just looking forward to sleeping for a week.”

Winter, who had been quietly observing, snickered. “You deserve it. But, you know, we might have a surprise for you, idiot.”

Y/n shot her a tired, suspicious glance. “A surprise? Please tell me it’s not more work.”

Winter just gave him a mischievous smile, remembering a crucial info from Sora back then. “You’ll see.”

-

Back at the dorm, Y/n barely had time to kick off his shoes before collapsing onto his bed. He didn’t even bother to change, just falling face-first into the pillows. "Sleep", he thought. "That’s all I need."

Meanwhile, the girls were bustling around in the living room, whispering to each other.

“So,” Karina began, keeping her voice low, “we’ve been talking, and we think we should get Y/n a gift. He’s been working non-stop for us, and I feel like he hasn’t taken a break this whole tour.”

Ningning nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, let’s do something nice for him! We could get him something he’d actually use. Maybe new sneakers? Or a watch?”

Giselle chimed in, “A gift card for a spa day, maybe? He needs to relax.”

But Winter remained quiet, her gaze drifting toward the closed door of Y/n’s room. After a moment, she smirked, an idea forming in her mind.

“Or,” she began, crossing her arms, “we could skip all that and give him something… a little more personal.”

The other members turned to her with raised eyebrows. Karina’s eyes narrowed. “What are you plotting?”

Winter shrugged, pretending to be casual. “I mean… why waste money on stuff? I’ll be the gift.”

Ningning nearly choked on her laughter. “You? The gift?”

“Hey, I think he’d appreciate it,” Winter said, her voice playful but with a hint of seriousness.

Karina blinked. “Wait, you’re actually serious.”

Winter simply grinned. “You’ll see.”

-

A few hours later, Y/n was woken up by a knock on his door. Groaning, he glanced at his phone—he had only been asleep for a couple of hours.

"What now?"

“Y/n, can I come in?” It was Winter’s voice, soft and sweet, but with a hint of something… else.

Y/n sat up, rubbing his eyes. “Yeah, sure.”

Winter slipped into the room, quietly closing the door behind her. She leaned against it for a moment, eyeing Y/n with a smirk.

“You okay?” he asked, feeling a bit uneasy under her gaze. “Something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Winter said, pushing herself off the door and walking over to him. She stood over his bed, her smile turning a little mischievous. “I just wanted to… thank you.”

"…Jeong, if you break something just say it. I won't be mad." Y/n raised an eyebrow.

"Aish, I'm being serious. Representing aespa, just wanna thank you."

“…For what?”

“For everything. The tour, the hard work, the way you always look out for us.” She was closer now, standing right in front of him, her presence making Y/n’s heart race for some reason. “You’ve been amazing, and I thought you deserved something special.”

Before Y/n could respond, Winter suddenly placed her hands on either side of his head, pinning him against the wall . Y/n’s eyes widened, his heart nearly stopping at the sudden move. It has been something Y/n subconsciously dreamed of but never brought it up to the surface. He was definitely not ready for this.

Winter was dangerously close, her face mere inches from his.

“Uh… Jeong?” Y/n stammered, his mind racing. “What are you—”

“Shhh,” Winter whispered, leaning in closer. “I told you, I’m the gift. And you deserve it.”

Y/n’s brain was practically short-circuiting. This was Winter, the same Winter who usually teased him and gave him a hard time. But now, here she was, pulling a move straight out of a drama.

Did she put on perfume? Why did she smell so good?

And then, before he could say another word, Winter closed the gap, pressing her lips softly against his. It was quick, barely a second, but enough to make Y/n’s entire body freeze in place.

When she pulled away, Winter’s smirk returned, but there was a softness in her eyes now. “Surprise,” she said, her voice low.

Y/n, completely stunned, could only blink at her. “W-What was that?”

Winter stepped back, crossing her arms with a satisfied grin. “That was my way of thanking you. Consider it a bonus for all your hard work.”

Before Y/n could open his mouth to respond, the door suddenly burst open, and the rest of the girls piled in, laughing and clapping.

“Winter! I can’t believe you actually did it!” Giselle giggled, practically doubled over.

Karina was grinning from ear to ear. “You’re so bold, Winter! I thought you were joking!”

Ningning shook her head, snickering. “That was legendary.”

As the laughter died down, Y/n leaned back against the wall, still trying to process everything. His face was warm, either from the embarrassment or the relentless teasing. Maybe both. He looked over at Winter, who was now sitting on the edge of his bed, casually leaning back with a satisfied smile.

"You guys…," Y/n started, shaking his head, "this was a prank, wasn’t it? The whole ‘Minjeong being the gift’ thing?"

Ningning couldn’t help but snicker. "Of course! You really thought Winter would just do something like that out of nowhere?"

Karina grinned, clapping Y/n on the shoulder. "Come on, you know we love messing with you. We all pitched in for this. Consider it payback for all the chaos you've survived."

Giselle added with a laugh, "You should’ve seen your face. You were so flustered!"

Y/n sighed, rubbing his temples, trying to hide the sting of disappointment in his chest. "Of course it was a prank. I should’ve known." He laughed lightly, but it was clear the whole thing had gotten to him a bit more than he expected. "It does make me feel better, so thanks about that, but I don't realllly like using something like that as a prank…"

But before anyone could pile on more jokes, Winter abruptly stood up from the bed, her smile fading into something more serious. The teasing atmosphere in the room shifted slightly as she looked at Y/n.

“Ya, it wasn’t a prank,” Winter said firmly, her voice cutting through the laughter. The other girls exchanged glances, surprised by her sudden change in tone.

Y/n blinked, confused. “Wait, what?”

Winter crossed her arms, standing tall despite the redness creeping up her neck. “I mean, yeah, the girls might’ve thought it was a prank, but I wasn’t kidding. I planned it… and I meant it.”

The room fell quiet for a moment as Winter’s words hung in the air. Karina, Ningning, and Giselle looked at Winter, wide-eyed, before they exchanged knowing looks and slowly backed away, giving her space.

Y/n, still trying to understand, looked at Winter, speechless. "Jeong, you’re… serious?"

Winter bit her lip and gave a small nod. “Yeah, I am.” Her eyes softened, and for the first time that night, she looked a bit nervous. "I just wanted to… thank you in my own way. You’ve been there for us, more than you probably realize, and… well, I don’t always know how to show that. So yeah, that’s why I did it."

She held Y/n’s gaze for a moment before the tension became too much for her. Winter quickly glanced away, her tough exterior cracking as her cheeks flushed. “Anyway… I’m heading to bed.” She cleared her throat, retreating toward the door. “Goodnight. You worked hard, idiot.”

And with that, Winter left the room, disappearing into the hallway without another word. The remaining members watched her go, a mix of surprise and amusement on their faces. Ningning was the first to break the silence, shaking her head with a smirk.

“Well… that escalated quickly,” she muttered.

Giselle elbowed Karina, grinning. “I knew Winter was bold, but I didn’t know she was that bold.”

Karina chuckled. “Honestly, neither did I. Guess we can expect a nephew next year.”

Y/n, still processing Winter’s unexpected confession, sat there in stunned silence. His heart was racing, and his mind was replaying Winter’s words over and over. The girls, noticing his dazed expression, started to smirk knowingly.

“Well, looks like you’ve got something to think about,” Karina teased, giving Y/n a playful nudge.

Ningning laughed. “Or maybe someone to talk to later.”

Giselle winked. “Good luck with that.”

Y/n sighed, feeling a mix of confusion, amusement, and something else he couldn’t quite put into words. “You guys are never going to let this go, are you?”

Karina grinned. “Not a chance.”

As the girls filed out of the room, Y/n leaned back against his pillows, staring up at the ceiling. He couldn’t shake the image of Winter’s serious expression, the way her voice softened when she said she meant it.

"Maybe it wasn’t a prank after all."

And with that thought lingering in his mind, Y/n let out a deep breath, wondering what was going to happen next. For now, all he could do was smile, because whether it was chaos, pranks, or something a little more serious, life with aespa never failed to surprise him.

But first, sleep is king.

[staylovesmiley]

Collision— Chapter 2

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Pairing; Stray Kids x afab!reader

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩Summary; You’ve known him for years but you never would have guessed the charming guy you’ve been online gaming with has been an idol this whole time. (masterlist here)

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩Warnings; implied afab reader (only they/them pronouns used for reader), mild angst?, pls I haven’t written fanfics since 2018 patience and kindness is appreciated

Today was finally the day, well more like finally the night as the hour was late and the sun had begun setting as the plane landed at its destination.

Over the past month Star had been eagerly messaging back and forth with Felix about recommendations for things to do, places to eat, help with knowing what the weather is predicted to be so they knew what to pack. At first the Aussie was nervous, but the closer it got to time he felt more at ease that his identity was protected if even a little bit bitter that they had no clue they would be indirectly meeting through the crowd of his now sold out show. He had learned they hadn’t been a stay for very long, only having discovered them during their maniac tour and being just a casual fan until seeing the comparisons of Chan to Wriothesley (who happened to be one of their favorite characters in Genshin since his model was leaked). Felix had to bite back the amusement tinted with a small twinge of jealousy hearing them gush about how handsome his fellow Aussie was. Other than that they chose to not talk much about Stray Kids or the concert, preferring to talk about the trip as a whole and even asking the blonde to be somewhat of a virtual guide. Starlight never suggested trying to meet up, most likely assuming it an off limits topic considering how protective he was with his identity. Felix couldn’t help but hope they would bring it up, ask to meet up face to face since they would be so close to one another.

It was silly, he knew, feeling a strong want to reveal himself to them. The two gamers had been somewhat close before, even with never having seen what each other looks like or knowing each others names.

While he himself kept most details about himself a secret, Star was rather open about their personal life and, with consent of course, had often vented and rambled to Felix about their life whether it be work issues or that one time they had called him from the laundromat because it was so late and there was a rather creepy individual lingering near by as they waited for the dryer to finish and wanted to be on the phone with someone to try and deter the individual.

He had learned they didn’t have many friends in the city they lived in, being mostly introverted they kept to themself and found it hard to make connections due to their more nerdy hobbies and interests.

Felix battled with himself internally if he should say something, open up more to them even before he found out they were going to be coming to Korea. They were kind, and from what he could tell pretty trustworthy. Even after finding out they were stay, Star seemed so chill about it all he felt like it wouldn’t turn out too bad if they found out who he was. Perhaps it was the chaotic part of his brain wanting to see how they would react knowing this whole time they had been talking and gaming with the Lee Felix of Stray kids, the very group they planned to see in concert and had bought albums of. Maybe a larger part of it was wanting to strengthen this connection that extended past his idol life.

Though he hadn’t shared much about himself, he felt seen by Star. Not by the artificial surface level stuff most idols are watered down to, But for himself, as an individual.

Felix had talked to the others about them, multiple times now. First it was in passing, never even giving them a name as he just referred to them in general as a “gaming buddy” but over the past month, while getting to know them even more as he helped them prepare and plan their trip, he began opening up about his desire to be more honest with them as well as sharing more about them with the others.

Changbin and Hyunjin eagerly asked what they looked like, much to their dismay upon learning he didn’t know himself. Seungmin teased him, claiming he had a little schoolboy crush on the somewhat mysterious gamer (he argued that with how much of a yapper they tended to be, affectionately, he was more of the mysterious gamer then they were). Jisung and Jeongin showed their curiosity more subtly in asking about what they liked and suggesting things he could mention to them about places to go and sights to see on their trip. Minho seemed uninterested though he diligently listened to the younger vent about his inner battle over whether or not to reveal his identity.

Chan was surprising, when he first told him about Star he teased the other. The older poked at his cheek with a goofy smile on his face as he sing-songed about Felix having a little crush just as Seungmin had. But once he had opened up about possibly wanting to meet up with them, he expected Chris to get serious and scold him. To tell him that was a reckless idea and could potentially hurt the group should something go wrong. Instead, the older Aussie smirked slightly and shrugged his shoulders. “Do you feel like you can trust them?” Was what eventually left his lips as he turned in his studio chair to look at the younger who sat perched on the couch behind him, pillow hugged tightly to his chest with how anxious he was bringing up the topic with their leader.

Felix stared at him with eyes so wide it made the other burst out into laughter, almost falling out of his seat. “Listen, it’s risky, yes- but mate you’ve been talking about them nonstop for a whole month.” The younger blushed slightly and looked away. “I know the fans usually talk about them for a different reason but we have NDAs for situations like this….”

Felix gawked at him for a moment, blinking a bit as he stared at the older male. “I never- thought of that…but how would I go about asking them to sign something like that?” Chan shrugged, turning back to the soundboard to continue working. “You could ask them to meet up once they are here, then send over the paperwork and explain it’s for your safety. If they are a good friend like you claim, and they already respect how you’ve had to be secretive in the past, then they should understand.” Felix took in the words he was saying, letting them fully absorb as he took in what this meant. But was it really that simple? He thought on it for a few days, and just 48 hours before they were set to hop on a flight to Incheon International, he sent them a message asking if they would meet him once they arrived.

That brings you to this moment, waiting at baggage claim as you eagerly look over the messages in your discord app about where to meet your mysterious online friend after checking into your hotel.

This was absolutely insane, you knew. Meeting up with someone who after years of not even knowing his name or what he looks like, drops the bomb that he is “somewhat a celebrity” and wanted to actually meet in person after all but needed you to sign a bunch of documents stating you wouldn’t leak any of his personal information after knowing who he was. After signing and sending over the paperwork you should have demanded to know who he was, to video call before hand just to make sure you weren’t walking into anything dangerous. But you were a rather impulsive individual and the excitement of finally meeting your friend outweighed the rational part of your brain. It wasn’t even that they were a celebrity that had you so excited. Whoever your friend was, you were just happy to finally meet someone who you considered yourself rather close with even if it was somewhat one sided. Sure, he may have not shared any personal information about himself with you but as far as things like his likes and dislikes, his personality, his kindness, that you were familiar with. It didn’t matter that you didn’t have a real name or face to put to your friend or that you didn’t know what his line of work was, you knew him...at least you hoped you did.

Once you had gotten checked into your hotel you took some time to freshen up after your long flight before sending a message to your friend to let him know you had landed and were ready to head out to the meeting spot whenever he was. He had let you know today was a day off for himself, before an extremely busy schedule the next two days.

You were dressed simply in a pair of distressed baggy jeans and a slightly oversized long sleeve for the comfort of the flight and because you did tend to get chilly often. You were just planning to meet up near the Han River before going to get a bite to eat, so there was no need to change your clothes for something so casual. You heard your phone signal that you had received a message back, giving you the go ahead to start making your way to the park. Here goes nothing-

The spring air was crisp, wind blowing gently causing the baby hairs at the back of his neck to tickle the skin lightly with his hair pulled up in a messy bun he had recently learned with how long his hair has been getting lately. He was dressed in a pair of black sweat pants and a dark blue hoodie, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible lest he attract too much attention from the public.

Anxiously he paced back and forth at the spot he had asked you to meet him.

It was dark by the time you arrived, catching a glimpse of the man from behind a small smile appeared on your face as your footsteps picked up with the eagerness to finally meet your longtime friend.

As you approached him he had turned so he was facing you, though his gaze was pointed at the ground as he was deep in thought it seemed, and it dawned on you as the color slowly drained from your face and realization settled in. Oh no, oh this was embarrassing. You silently thanked yourself for not speaking to him much about your admiration and interest in his group, seeing now that your longtime friend was none other than Lee Felix of Stray Kids. You groaned internally, remembering the slight fangirling you had done to him in the beginning over his group and a specific leader, cursing yourself mentally as you took a a deep breath and made your way to him while his back was once again turned to you. You tapped gently on his shoulder. “Um- Hi?” You spoke softly, suddenly very nervous and not because his identity and status was now known to you but because of your aforementioned introverted nature.

Felix whipped around so fast his neck hurt slightly, looking down (only slightly, we all know this man ain’t that tall) he smiled nervously. Woah, they were so cute, he thought to himself before shaking the thought from his mind. “Star?” He asked, biting his lip slightly as for a moment he feared maybe this wasn’t his friend but could be a stay (and not his stay- wait his stay? Oops-) that happened to spot him and come to say hi.

You giggled lightly, nodding a bit. “It’s uh- my name is y/n, actually…” you said with a smile, offering your hand out to him in greeting. “But you can keep calling me Star if you like- I actually like that nickname.”

He blushed slightly, glad for it to be dark out so it was less noticeable. “You have a lovely name…I know this is probably a useless introduction for you but I’m Felix.” He chuckled and shook your hand before rubbing the back of his neck, eyes down cast. “It’s not useless at all! I know I’m well…a stay and all but I’m your friend first. I actually was your friend first technically speaking.” You rambled slightly, catching yourself before you went on for too long and got off track. “It’s nice to meet you, Felix.” He felt his chest lighten and flutter a bit at your words, knowing in that moment it was the right decision to trust you like this.

You spent some time talking, catching up on little things about each other (mostly Felix) that you never shared due to not knowing each other fully until now. You made your way to a small building with a restaurant upstairs that Felix swore had the best food for late nights after a long flight. He pulled your seat out for you before taking his own. “So I’m guessing those next two days you’re gonna be busy is actually because of the concert the day after tomorrow?” You questioned, looking over the menu and being grateful for the pictures with numbers corresponding to the items listed so it was easier to understand what each dish was as your Korean wasn’t the best. “Ah yeah- it is…are you still looking forward to the show?” He was slightly nervous. What if now after meeting him you felt awkward going to the show. His other friends and family had gone to shows before but perhaps this was different? He was in somewhat uncharted territory with you and since you hadn’t talked much about the concert even before knowing his identity he was nervous to ask but was dying to know at the same time.

“Oh my god are you kidding? So excited! Not to completely gush and make a fool of myself but you guys are incredibly talented. Besides- now I have a whole new reason to be excited.” Felix raised an eyebrow at this, his question showing on his features before he asked it. “And what is that?” You grinned cheekily and reached over to poke at his chest. “I’ll be cheering on my friend, silly!“ you laughed, only quieting down when the waitress arrived to take their order.

Once the order was placed and they were once again left to themselves, you turned to Felix slightly sheepishly. “So uh- I guess now is probably as good a time as any to mention I may not have been completely honest about the true nature of my trip here…” Felix‘s eyes widened a bit as that trademark confused look appeared on his face. Suddenly feeling his heart rate pick up his mind began to race with where this was going. Oh no- were you a sasaeng who actually knew who he was this whole time and had been stalking him until this inevitable moment? No. There is no way- it couldn’t be that, could it?

“I applied for a student visa and well- for the foreseeable future this is where I’ll be living!” The Aussie breathed a mental sigh of relief but then tilted his head as more confusion flooded his expression. “Oh? Why didn’t you say that earlier-“ You sighed, rubbing the back of your neck before taking a sip of the water in front of you. “Well I was worried you might feel pressured in some way that I would want to meet up and I knew how much you wanted privacy….I was afraid you would think I’d expect to become irl friends since I’d be living in the same city…” at this information, Felix felt his heart warm and his chest flutter again at your consideration for him and his boundaries. “Star- that’s….you’re so sweet. But moving here? That’s so exciting! Im glad we did meet after all. You don’t know anyone else here, do you?” You shook your head, feeling slightly embarrassed as the nerves over the move and leaving everyone you had ever known behind to come to a foreign country alone. “Just you, yeah…thank you for trusting me enough to meet up. I’m glad to have you as a friend.” You both wore a matching blush at this, looking away from each other just as the food was delivered to the table.

After a few moments of silence, besides the quiet sounds of you both digging into your respective dishes, the blonde man spoke up. “So a student huh? Are you going anywhere specifically?” You looked up at him, halfway through slurping up some of your noodles causing him to laugh softly at the sight. Quickly you finished chewing and swallowed your bite of food before answering his question. “I’ll be taking Korean lessons, actually, as a way to get my visa. What better way to learn the language than living here, right? I’ll take classes once a week and the rest of the time well- I’ll figure that out but my job was able to let me work remotely so thankfully I won’t have to worry about looking for a job while I’m here.” Felix smiled and nodded, taking in the information. “That’s so cool I didn’t know you could get a student visa to come here and learn Korean- do you know where you’ll be staying long term?” “Not yet. For now I’m at a hotel nearby but as soon as I can I’m going to start looking for an apartment.” You sighed, the stress of your lack of a living situation evidently weighing on you. “If you need any help just let me know, yeah? I’ll try my best. You don’t have to do it all alone..” he offered warmly, placing his hand on top of yours where it rested by your bowl. You smiled, cheeks almost sore from how much this man truly was the ray of sunshine the fans and members called him by.

You both couldn’t help but hold matching smiles on your faces as the night went on. The more Felix got to know his long time friend face to face, the more he felt at ease. It also helped how gorgeous you were. The blonde caught himself staring on more than one occasion and had to pull his eyes away before he was found out by the gamer across from him. The more you got to know him you felt butterflies erupt through your chest at how kind and charming he truly was, a true princely type it seemed.

You discovered you were the same age, though you were a few months older (your birthday closer to Hyunjin’s). You talked about anything and everything as you ate your meal, eventually being politely kicked out so the establishment could close for the evening.

Felix walked you back to your hotel, your hands brushing against each other occasionally from how close you were as you were deep in conversation. “So I’ll see you the day after tomorrow…” he said as you reached the front entrance of the hotel. “Well- yeah I mean if you can see that far into the crowd.” You laughed, tucking some hair behind your ear. “I mean uh- well if you wanted to I could arrange for you to come backstage afterwards and maybe come with us to get dinner after?” Your eyes widened in disbelief as you stared at him like he just handed you a million dollars.

“Really?! A-are you sure? I don’t wanna impose-“ you stuttered a bit as the excitement and nerves took you over.

Felix laughed and nodded his head. “I’ll talk it over with staff and the guys but I’m sure they won’t mind. I’ve uh, kinda been telling them about you a lot since I heard you were coming to visit and they have been super curious to meet you as well-“ now you blushed, looking away. “Um- yeah I mean sure I’d love to!” “Great! I’ll let you know the details when it’s all settled. Oh-“

Felix held out his phone, rubbing the back of his neck. “If you wanna put in your number? It might be easier than communicating through discord alone…” You smiled and nodded as you took the device from his hands and quickly put in the international number you were given for your time there as well as adding in your normal number into the additional contact information just in case. “Well this was so nice, Felix. Im really glad I was finally able to meet you.” He felt the warm and excited smile stretch across his features causing his eyes to turn to crescents and before he could think twice, he pulled you into a tight embrace. You squeaked a bit at the action, but quickly melted into his touch and rested your head against his shoulder while his rested against the side of your head. “Let me know when you get back safe.” You muttered to him as you let go, smiling at his nod of acknowledgment before you both shared your goodbyes and went your separate ways.

Between the time you had met up and the day of the concert you and Felix had been talking nonstop. He kept you up to date while they practiced for the show, even going as far as to send a couple selfies and pictures of himself and the members, including the cutest picture of a sleepy Jeongin and Hyunjin cuddled up on the couch at the back of their practice room that you will cherish forever.

You were currently in the process of getting ready for the show yourself, placing the final touches on your makeup and hair before standing up from where you had sat in front of the floor length mirror in your hotel room and stepped back to take in the full look.

You had taken it upon yourself to dress up to match their latest comeback, wearing a pleated denim miniskirt with a cream colored cropped tank top and a light blue biker jacket you had thrifted sometime ago on top. You finished off the look with some knit leg warmers in a matching color to your top and a few different silver chain necklaces, one dainty with star charms along the length of it and another just a thicker plain chain, and a couple of matching bracelets and rings.

Looking over your appearance once more, you nodded at yourself before slipping on your black docs to finish it all off.

Once you arrived at the venue everything was a blur until you were at your seat, this being your first ever kpop concert let alone in a foreign country. You smiled friendly to the stays around you who greeted you politely and made some small talk which you were happy didn’t get too deep since you were still so new to the language and a bit self conscious about your pronunciation of most words. Before you knew it the show was starting and you couldn’t help but cheer loudly for your friend and his members.

Felix had tried to insist on changing your seat to something closer to the stage but you had refused, saying that you’d get to see him afterwards and that you could still have fun from your seat practically in the nose bleeds and have fun you did. Thank god for modern technology as you were able to snap some photos of Felix mid dance that had you howling with laughter and would most definitely be used to tease him later on.

As the show came to an end your nerves started to bubble back up to the surface, realizing that soon you’d be face to face with all eight members of a group you’ve been a fan of for a couple years at that point. Again you were reminded of the things you had told Felix about one Bangchan and blushed with embarrassment at the thought that maybe he had said something to the older Aussie about your supposed attraction to him based on your love for a certain fictional character he bore resemblance to. As the lights began turning on and fans began leaving the venue you were greeted by a member of staff who lead you to the backstage area through a series of corridors and heavy double doors.

On your way to the green room you happened to run into the members in the hall, spotting Felix your eyes lit up and you called out to him. “Felix! Hey!” You shouted, laughing when his eyes locked on you and he took off run towards your figure down the hall.

Matching his energy you also took off in a sprint towards the Aussie and squealed with glee when instead of stopping upon reaching you the other wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you almost effortlessly and spun you around. “Star! Gosh I’m so glad you are here- how was it? Did we put on a good show for stay?” You giggled as he set you down but noticed how his arms stayed holding you in his embrace. “It was incredible, as always! Well- I mean from what I’ve seen via YouTube videos…” You both laughed, staring at each other as you took in his appearance and he yours. “You look incredible, to match our performance I guess.” You rolled your eyes a bit at his attempt at a joke, but took the compliment nonetheless. “Thank you! You guys inspired me I guess-“ you fired back, catching the seven other pairs of eyes on you from over his shoulder and suddenly felt anxious nerves flood over you.

“Uh, hyung- are you gonna introduce us to your friend?” Jeongin spoke up first, going as far as stepping up and tapping the older on the shoulder. You stepped back from your friend and looked at the others like a deer caught in the headlights. You never realized how large of a group they looked like until you were standing in front of them.

Your poor introverted soul screamed at you to run and hide but you forced yourself to bow at the waist politely to them and introduce yourself to them. “Hi! I’m y/n but you can all call me Star- well uh that’s what Felix calls me and what I go by with my friends…”

You slowly rose to standing straight again when you heard a few of them let out chuckles before they introduced themselves as well. “Star, yeah? Cute.” Lee know said with a smirk. “Cute is right! Felix why did you hide them from us for so lonnngg-“ Changbin whined and clung to the younger while the others laughed or rolled their eyes affectionately at his antics. “Hey I just found out what they looked like myself not that long ago-“ Felix pouted at him as he tried to pry the older off of him. “Ya! You could have shown us a picture or something??” You giggled, hiding your mouth behind your hand shyly before feeling extra bashful being talked about like you weren’t in the room. “Guys, you’re being kind of rude…sorry for them.” Chan spoke up, stepping up and nodding to the green room. “We’ve gotta go get changed but you can come have a seat while you wait? We won’t be long and I’m sure you don’t want to stand out here while you wait- though I warn you it can get kinda loud in there.” He said, glancing back at the others causing them all to prove his point by shouting their protests. “Thank you, that sounds nice.” And with that you followed them into the room to wait for them to all get changed.

As you waited on the couch in the green room for the members to get back into their civilian clothes as you’ve decided to nickname them, you tried not to be too obvious about how your eyes wandered around the room curiously to watch as the staff cleaned up after the show. Stylists grabbing clothing from the outstretched arms of the members from the closed off changing rooms to put them into the proper garment bags and hung on the clothing wracks to be wheeled off and stored away in some vehicle to be brought somewhere at JYPE perhaps, makeup artists cleaning their stations and packing away their supplies, other various staff members going around picking up trash left behind by either themselves or the members. You felt a bit anxious sitting down while everyone else was tidying up around you until you felt the soft leather of the sofa dip beside you. “Hi.”

Looking to your right you were met with Bangchans dimpled face grinning at you. “Oh uh- hi!” Your voice came out a lot higher pitched than you meant it to and you quickly scrambled to compose yourself while Chan laughed at your reaction to his presence. “Hey, deep breaths yeah? It’s just me.” You nodded along, taking a deep breath. “Yeah that’s kinda the problem- I know I’m not the first one to tell you this but you are like hella intimidating…” He responded with more laughter as you gave him a pout. “Sorry ‘bout that, not like I’m really trying to come off that way…quite the opposite really.”

Taking in his appearance you gave him a soft smile. He still had traces of makeup left behind that a quick remover wipe didn’t quite get rid of, dressed in a pair of loose fitting black shorts and a matching black hoodie. “Comfy?” Is the question that slipped out as he sat beside you, full on man spreading. The Aussie’s eyes widened before you were graced with his beautiful laugh once more and you were starting to think you could get used to the sound. “Yeah, I’d say so sitting next to someone as pretty as yourself.” This caused a dark blush to spread over your cheeks and to the tips of your ears as you quickly hid behind your hands. “Oh my god you can’t just say stuff like that-“ you groaned though laughter quickly followed to try and cover your bashfulness. Pulling your hands away you began to fan your face as another one of the boys made your way over to sit on the opposite side of you.

“Oh no, has our poor leader said something to upset you?” Came Lee Minho’s teasing tone as he leaned in close to take a look at the blush still dusting your features. You gasped a bit at the close proximity and struggled to find the words to respond. “Guys can you give them some space, please? They aren’t used to you yet-“ Felix seemed to rush from where he had been changing and attempted to shove Leeknow out of the way. “If they want some space they can speak for themselves, right?” The elder dancer hummed after his question, staring at you expecting an answer. “Well I uh- it’s fine, Lix I’m okay.” The blonde stopped his attempt short and looked between the three of you before huffing a bit. “Well alright if you’re okay….just tell me if they are bothering you, yeah?” You nodded to him, giving the young Aussie a warm smile as Chan made himself more comfortable by draping an arm over your shoulder, thus effectively grabbing your attention. “So, Star- Lix says you’re going to join us for dinner, yeah?” You nod eagerly and flash him the same smile you had just given Felix. “Mhm! If you guys will have me, that is.” From across the room Hyunjin muttered under his breath. “Oh we’ll definitely be having you-“ which caused Han to give him a sharp elbow to the chest and Jeongin a look to say “knock it off” without actually speaking it. Thankfully for the group you didn’t catch the tallest innuendo and continued to chat with Chan and Minho about the show, your favorite foods, and somehow the topic landed on your semi-permanent stay in Korea.

“Wait wait wait- so you’re going to be here for a couple of years to study? That’s fantastic!” Bangchan said with his dimples on full display for you. You fought the urge to reach out and poke them, thankfully winning against the impulse lest you embarrass yourself. “Yup! I still can’t believe it but I’m sure the reality of it will hit once I get settled in a place and start classes.” Minho raised an eyebrow and tilted his head like a curious cat. “Hold on you don’t have a place to live yet?” You shook your head in response and gave him a shrug. “I mean I’m staying at a hotel right now so it’s not like I’m out on the streets or anything.” Now Jisung made his way over, sitting on the other side of Minho and practically gluing himself to the older’s back to get closer to you. “But that’s no way to live! I’m sure it’s not all that comfortable I mean I’ve stayed in many a hotel with this career and it’s just- never as good as having your own bed.” You looked around the see the others nodding or vocalizing their agreement with the rapper. “Well no it’s not ideal but I haven’t exactly had time to find a place yet…” Felix spoke up moving from his spot where he had been leaning against the wall to sit beside Chan. “I offered to help them find somewhere since we’ve got some free time this week now that the concert is over.”

Chan smiled at his fellow Aussie then turned to meet your eyes. “That’s a great idea! We can all help if you want, too. The more the merrier, right?” You nodded, looking over to Felix to gauge his reaction and make sure it wasn’t imposing if he had wanted to spend the time alone with you and to your delight he seemed completely on board with the idea. “Yeah I would really appreciate that, than you Chan.” “Chris. Please-“ You blushed again, giggling a little as you nodded towards him. “Chris.” You responded, feeling brave enough to send him a wink which had the older blushing in return and quickly turning away from you to cough into his elbow. So much for being able to handle what he dished out.

“This is nice, chatting with everyone and getting to know you Star, but I can actually feel my stomach yelling at me to feed it so can we please get going to dinner?” Jeongin whined, clutching his stomach and leaning dramatically onto Changbin who started to complain of hunger himself. With laughter and words of agreement they all decided to load up into two cars split by dorms to head to the restaurant. You found yourself nestled in the cuties car between Felix and Jeongin, talking enthusiastically to Felix about updates coming to your beloved genshin while Jeongin zoned out beside you with headphones on deep into whatever he was doing on his phone. After a while the conversation died down and you felt someone tapping on your shoulder. Turning to look behind you, Seungmin flashed you a soft smile. “Do you plan on coming back to the dorm with us after dinner? We were gonna have some drinks and play Mario Kart since we have the day off tomorrow.” You turned to look at Felix, once again checking to make sure it was okay. Just a few days ago he didn’t even want to show you his face and now it seemed like you were being intertwined deeper within his life with every passing minute. The blonde looked nothing if not eager for you to agree, nodding to you with a bright and sunny smile on his face. “Please? I can show you my pc set up too oh my god I can’t wait for you to see it!” At that you couldn’t really say no, not that you wanted to. “Oh- okay sure I’d love to! I can’t wait to see it either I know you’ve talked about how much work you put into it for months!” Seungmin patted the freckled man on the shoulder and gave him a knowing look before he was met with a playful glare. You looked between them curiously but decided not to question it as you turned back to face forward as the van pulled into the parking lot for the restaurant.

After a somewhat eventual dinner where most of it was spent being practically fed food by all the members, eyes lit up at watching you try everything for the first time. Choruses of “oh try this, it’s my favorite!” and “you’re gonna love this, here take a bite” rang around you for nearly two hours as you all ate your full and chatted throughout.

Once you all arrived back at the dorms you were bid a goodnight by 3racha and their ferret, being ushered into the cuties dorm by an eager Felix as he practically pushed you through the living room before Minho shouted at the two of you to remove your shoes first. Giggling amongst yourself you did as told and then ran off to go see Felix’s set up.

Once your eyes landed on it you gasped, covering your mouth with both hands. “Lix, it’s beautiful-“ you said breathlessly as you slowly made your way to the desk in awe. Felix beamed proudly and leaned in the doorway. “I know, right? It’s almost perfect! There are still a few things here and there I wanna get before I’ll be truly happy with it but for now I’m content.” You looked back at him with astonishment before turning back to his pc. “Truly this is a masterpiece-“ he smiled at your words, coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. It felt comfortable like this, almost familiar though you knew it shouldn’t considering this is only the second time you’ve been face to face with each other. Still, you found yourself relaxing into his embrace, leaning against him as he swayed the two of you lightly and rested his head on top of your own.

You would have been content to stay like that had it not been for one Kim Seungmin barging in and letting you two know that the drinks and game had been set up and they were just waiting on you.

You blushed, pulling away from Felix to head to the living room but not before grabbing hold of his hand to pull him with you. Felix was a bit sad at the loss of you from his arms but quickly cheered up once your fingers interlocked with one another.

Several rounds of Mario Kart and a few too many drinks later and here you were head in your hands as you faced yet another defeat to Minho as he high fived second place jeongin who then turned around to stick a tongue out at the three of you remaining. “This is why I despise this game-“ you groaned, taking another shot of soju while Felix sat and stared at the screen in disbelief. “I was so close to winning until SOMEONE shot me with a damn blue shell!” He glared at Minho who shrugged, mimicking Jeongin by sticking out his tongue at the younger dancer. “Alls fair in love and racing.” He then winked, heading off to his room. “Losers clean up! I’m going to bed.”

The maknae followed his lead, still laughing a bit at the disappointment on your faces before shutting the door to his room behind him. “I demand a rematch soon!” You shouted at their backs, huffing a bit before laughing as well at how ridiculous it all was.

You, Seungmin, and Felix began cleaning up before you grabbed your phone and started to order a ride back to your hotel. “Woah hey, what are you doing?” Your friend questioned as he came up to you after taking out the trash. “Uh, going home? Well- to my hotel I mean..” he shook his head, taking your phone out of your grasp. “You can stay here.”

You gave him a look as if you thought he was being funny but the man just looked back at you with seriousness. “Are you…sure? I don’t exactly have a change of clothes or anything-“ “you can borrow some!” He responded as if it was the simplest conclusion. At your unsure expression he sighed, canceling the ride on your phone before handing it back to you. “I’m sure. You can take my bed and I’ll take the couch.”

Shaking your head furiously you gawked at him. “Uh no way am I kicking you out of your own bed when I could just leave-“ before you could even finish your sentence he was shutting you down again. “Well I don’t mind sharing a bed with you but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” At that you gave him a funny look before rolling your eyes, though a soft blush painted your cheeks. “Lee Felix I don’t think you could ever or would ever for that matter make me uncomfortable.” He laughed a bit at the exasperated tone you used, pulling you towards his room. “I’m taking that as a yes to a sleepover! I’ll get you something to sleep in-“ and with that he began rummaging around through his drawers.

Once you were dressed in a pair of his sweatpants and an old tshirt, Felix lent you a makeup wipe and after cleaning up your faces you both settled under the sheets of his bed, facing each other in the dark. “I haven’t had a sleepover since I was in middle school…” You giggled, snuggling deep under the comforter. “Me either- I’m so excited! Maybe in the morning we can convince Minho to make us breakfast if he isn’t too hungover.” You raised an eyebrow at him. “Or I could make breakfast since you let me stay over?” You suggested, giving him a smile. “But you’re a guest! I couldn’t do that-“ He gasped, shaking his head at the proposal. “Please? I want to. We could do it together it would be a bonding experience.” It was his turn to raise an eyebrow at you. “Have you seen any videos of me attempting to cook? Are you sure?” You laughed, giving his shoulder a light shove. “Have more faith in your abilities, and mine to keep things under control! We help each other out in games how much different could helping each other cook be?” He scoffed a bit, pretending to be hurt by your weak push to his shoulder.

“Hey uh….would it be okay if we- um…if we cuddled?” The blonde asked, voice just above a whisper. You beamed, choosing to snuggle up to him in lieu of an answer. Felix sighed in relief and pulled you closer. That familiar feeling bubbling up again as you began drifting off to sleep after such an eventful day.

“Goodnight, Starlight…” “Goodnight, Felix.”

author’s note; oh my goodness that was a long one compared to the first chapter- I’m sorry if any of the ending bits with all the boys seemed rushed ૮꒰ “ . . ꒱ა my editor (aka my partner lol) was taking too long and I’m too impatient and wanted to go ahead and post for you all! Thank you guys so much for the support already on this series! It really means a lot to me I can’t wait to see how you all like the story as it continues on~ please feel free to ask questions or give feedback I love to hear from you all truly it makes my day so bright as I hope my writing does for you all! Also you’ll notice below I’ve started a tag list for this series if you would like to be added just lmk and I’d be more than happy to do so (if not that’s completely fine I still appreciate you checking the story out!) I also quickly wanna say I am not sure if I’ll have a concrete posting schedule- I work full time and my job can be mentally draining at times so whereas some days (like today) I can spend all my free time writing updates (and then get too excited and post them right away) and others I may not have the energy or mental capacity. I do apologize in advance but you should never have to go more than a week without an update at the very most~ anyways I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and are looking forward to what may come next ᕱᕱ ⊹ ࣪ ˖

tag list; @softkisshyunjin @coastinglove @palindrome969 @amara-mars

[yukimomodivorce]

The Ghosts in IDOLiSH7 are a Literary Device, Mostly

(an essay by me)

People are always asking me, "Robin, what the fuck is up with those ghosts in IDOLiSH7? How come this otherwise completely non-supernatural universe randomly has these two ghosts that show up and then never get acknowledged again? Is it just canon that ghosts exist and only Riku and Momo can see them?" and I am always telling them that I have an analysis about this I just haven't written it yet. But that ends today, as do all of these very pressing concerns about the i7 Ghosts™, because here I am, finally writing the analysis. This essay will have two sections, the first on the training camp ghost from part 3/third beat, and the second on the Re:vale house ghost from Yuki's third chapter of Re:member. So, spoilers for all of part 3/third beat in both sections, Re:member in section 2, and there's one extremely minor spoiler for part 4 in section 1 but it's honestly so predictable I don't think it even counts. Also, I'll reiterate this once we get to it, but just a warning that section 2 will contain discussions of depression, suicide and suicidal ideation, and a brief mention of self-harm, so please stop reading after section 1 if you don't want to see any of that! Another less important disclaimer about section 2 is that I am going to spend an entirely unecessary amount of time talking about Yuki. I am normal about Yuki. Okay. Without further ado, let's watch my spiral into ghost analogy insanity unfold!

Game translations: @seigyokus Re:member translations: @ takara_time (+ scans and editing by @ waitamomoment) Rabbit chat translations: @osakaso5

Section 1: The Training Camp Ghost

This first point applies to both ghosts, but I wanna start by noting that I think superstitions and beliefs like this are more common in Japan than a lot of other places, so yeah it is entirely possible that ghosts are just a canon and accepted thing in Idolish7's universe and this isn't really that strange of a detail for the series to include. However, I don't have any real background knowledge about if ghosts are normal in non-supernatural anime/etc. and I am not committing to that kind of research, so we'll have to leave the specifics of the ghost canonicity issue to someone else. But regardless of how canon they are, I think we've established well enough by now that the i7 writers don't put much of anything in the series without reason (re:vale band name you will always be famous. to me), and that definitely applies here as well - both of our ghosts are doing a LOT of potential symbolic work in their brief appearances, and that's what we'll be unpacking today, starting with the TCG.

The infamous TCG (training camp ghost) of Atami needs no introduction, but I'll give her one anyway. During the filming of the Friends Day special, upon following the shopping group home, she offers her services to Riku (inexplicably the only person capable of communicating with her) for the evening entertainment group's test of courage, terrorises several cast members throughout the day, and finally brings us Soma Saito's incredible cover of Dis One before probably being sent back to idol fan purgatory forever. Who is she? Where did she come from? I have several theories.

1.1: The TCG is the audience

While the 'ghosts are real in i7' possibility is there, I think it's also important to note in this case that the whole training camp is very explicitly being filmed for TV, and the biggest vibe I get from this episode of the anime is that the ghost is a part of the show, and we're seeing that show through the eyes of its in-universe audience. This happens pretty often in i7 (for example, when we see the groups talk to their fans during concerts), and generally the line between the real fans and the fictional ones can get pretty blurred (which deserves its own much longer analysis but I Am Not Writing All That), so everything with the in-universe audience here kind of naturally extends to us as the real audience. The TCG would probably be easy enough to manufacture with special effects as long as Riku and the driver guy were in on it, and it would make sense for the Friends Day producers to include it to keep things entertaining and be a stand-in for their viewers/fans of the idol groups - the ghost is specifically a female fan of male idols (Zero), and a lot of her interactions with the cast would qualify as self-insert material (e.g. Tenn singing for her and Riku looking directly into the camera to smile at her). And speaking of Tenn and Riku,

1.2 The TCG is Nanase twins angst

I think this connection is fairly obvious in their exchange here. You could make a case for the ghost representing either one of the twins. Like Riku, she's being pushed away by Tenn before she's ready to leave, told that it's necessary and for the best that they stay separated - after all, they live in different worlds. Like Tenn, she's leaving despite Riku's protests and part of her not really wanting to go at first, because she believes it's for the best that they stay separated - after all, they live in different worlds.

There's also the association with ghosts of being ignored/invisible, and Riku being the only person able to see or talk to her. Maybe it's because he's the only one who's able to reach her. Maybe he can see her because he understands her on some level - she was torn away from life like he was torn away from his brother, and she's now practically invisible to everyone else around her, like Riku probably feels to Tenn (and arguably the rest of his family in some ways). Maybe he wants her to feel seen, and he can make Tenn acknowledge her in the way he wants to be acknowledged by him. I might actually be going somewhere with this so bear with me for a second.

1.3: The TCG is monster Riku foreshadowing

So my first thought when I watched the Nanase twin angst portion of this episode was 'well obviously the ghost isn't real and Riku is just using it to talk to Tenn indirectly' because they are always having indirect conversations like this and it makes me insane, and I do still think that's the idea here, just not quite in the sense that Riku is making things up. Going back to the whole 'ghost is a stand-in for the audience' thing, and assuming that she's saying the things that Riku wants to say and Tenn is telling her the things he wants to tell Riku, then we could say that rather than Riku purposefully having the ghost speak for him, this is an extension of the monster effect. I guess in this scenario the TCG is a real ghost (and a figurative representation of the audience), and Riku is having the same effect on her that Iori says he has on everyone else. He unknowingly projects his desire to connect with his brother onto her, and she tries to help him. Really, the only times we see her after she follows the shopping group to their cabin are when she's helping Riku, with the test of courage and then with speaking to Tenn. This gets convoluted so I kinda doubt it's intentional? But it's fun to think about.

1.4: The TCG is the friends we made along the way

Riku spells this out a bit more explicitly in the game here, but the TCG represents the each of the groups in the series in a couple different ways. I guess one way you could interpret this is that the ghost is meant to be there to emphasise how extraordinary it is that they're all together, but I don't think that really holds up considering how often they end up working with each other throughout the series anyway. What's important here is the idea of the ghost itself, something that can be present and felt even when it isn't physically or actually there. Again, the ghost is the audience - a constant influence for better and for worse on these idols even when they aren't watching, even in their personal lives; and vice versa, the ghost is the idols being able to reach their fans without ever actually knowing them. More relevant to what Riku says, the ghost is the groups to each other - friends, mentors, rivals, pushing them forward even when they aren't standing side by side. You could even say the ghost is ZOOL, friends who aren't here right now but will be someday. Re:vale and Idolish7 as groups don't especially fit the ghost description, but they have their fair share of ghosts - Banri, Haruki, Tenn, Aya, Sougo's uncle. Zero. The list goes on, for Trigger and ZOOL as well, but I think the most important way the ghost analogy applies to this section of the story is with Trigger. Because during the imminent Arc Where Trigger Gets Cancelled™, despite leaving their agency and disappearing almost entirely from the public eye, they're still very much there to their fans and to their friends. So. I kinda forgot what I was saying but to sum it all up the ghost here represents everything that stays with you even when it's far away or after it's gone from your life. Mikanseinabokura and all that. And now that I mention it-

Section 2: The Re:vale House Ghost

Once again, a warning that this section has a brief mention of self-harm, as well as in-depth discussions of depression, suicide and suicidal ideation (which I'm gonna be talking about pretty bluntly the entire time), so please don't proceed unless you're comfortable with all of that!

Like most things in Re:member, the RHG (Re:vale house ghost) makes me insane. Today I am going to attempt to form coherent thoughts about it and it is unlikely that I'll succeed, but try to bear with me. Though it isn't around for as long as the TCG, we have a little more info about the RHG - it's the ghost that haunts the shitty apartment Yuki and Momo live in together in their early days as Re:vale. Supposedly. All it actually does is slam the door of one kitchen cabinet and I don't think that this is definitive evidence of paranormal activity because most houses are just like that. It's all a little bit vague, but according to Re:vale, their house is definitely haunted by the ghost of someone who died in the kitchen, because when they move in there is a mysterious black stain on their kitchen floor. Momo introduces himself to the floor stain while Yuki stares at him in awe and blushes and shoujo filter flowers appear in his eyes. God I hate them. I think the RHG is just a figment of their collective imagination or maybe they're having one of those shared delusions or something. But that's really besides the point because this ghost exists for one very specific thematic purpose: the RHG is Yuki.

And on that note, let's go back and talk about Yuki for a few minutes (potentially hours) before we get to our actual analysis of the ghost scene. Mostly because I just wanna talk about him, but also because I do understand why some people think the 'Momo starts talking to ghosts' part of Re:member is kinda weird and random, and I think at least some of this is important to go over before we unpack it.

A consensus has already been established among Yuki scholars that our subject has autism (Kei et al. 2024). Today, I would like to propose an additional diagnosis: Yuki has depression.

2.1: "I lost my dreams, friends, and passion as well."

So, Yuki pretty clearly gets depressed when Ban leaves him. He loses interest in everything he used to care about, gives up on his dreams, blames himself for Ban's injury and disappearance, he's constantly sad, tired and irritable, and he lashes out at Momo (and Kujou, though there are some other pretty strong reasons for that one) and presumably everyone else he knows (I doubt he had a particularly good relationship with anyone else in the first place, but still).

He's grieving here, and it would make sense for him to react this way because of that fact alone. But I really don't think that's all there is to it, because he exhibits these symptoms (among others) long before Ban leaves him. He can't get out of bed in the mornings, he rarely leaves the house if he can avoid it, he has days where he can't eat or sleep, he's underweight and always tired and generally known to lack energy and be slow (or 'lazy') and in some cases listless and despondent. Ban even says that he wouldn't put it past Yuki to start slitting his wrists. And it's subtle, but there's one more really big one that really never goes away for him, even after he finds Ban.

2.2: "I don't need anyone to love me."

I'll get straight to the point. Yuki hates himself. Maybe only a little bit, maybe only sometimes, but it's there. Especially when he struggles with composing - he even says it himself in part 1 of his birthday photobook rabbit chat, almost immediately after saying that it made him want to kill himself but we'll get back to that part.

But it's really everywhere on what seems to be a mostly subconscious level for him, if you know how to look, even from the very beginning:

On paper, this line is just his frustration with being judged by anything other than his music, because it's something he cares a lot about and puts a lot of work into and he wants that to be acknowledged. But I think that if you take it in conjunction with some of the other things he tends to say, there's a little bit more to it.

I dont need anyone to love me. Yuki's songs are worthy of love. Yuki is not. There is nothing valuable about Yuki other than his songs, he has nothing else that deserves any sort of praise, and without them, he's just a useless burden with nothing to offer. He doesn't need anyone to love him - he doesn't understand why anyone would. And Momo does, and he's a good person, and Yuki doesn't deserve that when there's nothing he can actually do for him. And when that starts to change and he starts getting better at showing kindness to others and being there for Momo, he doesn't see it as learning to better express his feelings, he sees is as learning to feel affection and be a good person, because he believes that he is inherently not. As far as he can tell, Yuki is just naturally a bad person and a bad partner who isn't kind and isn't capable of love or compassion, not unless he tries to be. He knows, because he's heard it god knows how many times - even Chiba Shizuo blatantly tells him that neither of them can become good people - and maybe things are different now, but on some basic level it'll always be who he is.

Ok breaking character for a second, imagine you show up to your acting side gig and on the first day Keanu Reeves comes up to you and gives you $300 cash and then later he indirectly tells you that you're a nasty lonely egotistical failure. Now imagine you're Yuki and you have no fucking clue who Keanu Reeves is. He also shows you pictures of his top secret illegitimate son after talking to you for like 10 minutes and you have to lie to him about being straight. I think this is objectively the funniest situation to be in ever. Chiba Shizuo and Yamato both probably have depression also, but I'm not gonna spend any time on it, because every three months a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in Northern Queensland. I forgot what I was talking about. Anyway

2.3: Hey remember that one time Yuki just straight up tried to kill himself

Yeah, that one. As far as I know this is really never addressed or acknowledged again, so we're just gonna take the page-long gag from Re:member at face value and say that after Ban's disappearance, Yuki (almost) attempted suicide, and the only reason he didn't go through with it is because he couldn't find anywhere to hang the noose. And like, yeah you could say it's just because he thought Ban might have killed himself and he's always been the kind of hopeless romantic to be waxing poetic about how "I can't live without you," but at the same time, he had no apparent reason to believe this (even if Ban did have suicidal tendencies I doubt Yuki would've really known), and he was planning to go through with it (I know it's probably just for comedic effect but he left a will. He left a will. He's, like, 20, and surely not the kind of person who would just have something like that in order already). This is also emphatically not the last time or the only reason he thinks about it.

I told you we'd get back to the photobook chat! I think there's also a lot you can infer from all the times he says he'd probably be dead by now without Momo and he wouldn't be able to handle losing him, what with the whole "when you jump, you'd better take me with you" thing. But regardless, this really isn't just that one time that Yuki tried to kill himself. It's suicidal ideation, and it's something he consistently struggles with especially in the few months after Ban leaves him. It even comes up in how he sees the 'paranormal activity' his new apartment:

2.4: "It seemed as though someone had hung themselves there."

Yeah it's the ghost I'm finally gonna talk about the ghost. I'm done with my Yuki has depression rant we can talk about why the ghost is Yuki now. I guess it might be more accurate to say that the ghost is Yuki's depression/suicidal thoughts/Banri trauma/whatever, but either way I think it represents him and he might also be semi-consciously projecting onto it, and I'm gonna go through line-by-line and try to explain my interpretation.

I think if you want to there's definitely room to take the 'usual paranormal activity' super literally and say that Yuki was having outbursts and slamming doors at the time (which would also match up with him being startled by it). I think it's also important to note that this is happening around the time he mentions feeling suicidal and not being able to compose in the photobook chat, but the main thing here is that second line. Even though Momo is always so nice to him, he can't stop himself from getting mad and being difficult and depressed, and he can't return that kindness - he can't even be useful to him.

I've already mentioned how I think Yuki's conclusion about the stain here plays into his suicidal ideation, but let's look at it a little more thematically. It's the way that even though it's glossed over earlier in the manga, Yuki's suicide attempt and everything that accompanied it still follows him, and it hangs (lol) heavy in their house like a ghost. To Yuki, it's startling and eerie - it scares him, and he's expecting it to scare Momo once he sees that side of him too. And it probably does scare him a little, and he hesitates, but he doesn't scream. Again, there's room to interpret this more literally as Momo finding out about his attempt/ideation/depression, or just as him inevitably seeing how he gets on his worse days, but either way the outcome is the same. Momo is starting to know Yuki as a person instead of an idol, flaws and probable mental illness and all, and his first reaction isn't to shy away or start to hate him or want to leave. It's an introduction. He makes it clear that they'll both be staying here from now on, that he's willing to live with the 'darker' sides of Yuki, and to help him do the same. Another point on this that's up to interpretation (because let's be real they're probably never gonna deal with this stuff explicitly in canon), you could see the whole ghost thing as neither of them really being able/wanting to accept that Yuki's symptoms are actually a part of him (and this is veering completely into fanfic territory but now I'm just imagining both of them silently agreeing to blame the things Yuki does on bad days on the ghost) but we've had enough angst for one day.

Everything else lines up well enough with the ghost and Yuki, but it's really his reaction here that sells the whole thing for me. It's a simple gesture, but just by Momo greeting him, being by his side, waiting for him when he comes home, that constant reminder of all his darkest thoughts becomes just another mark on the floorboards. It's not gone, and it probably never will be. But at least now, he doesn't have to face it alone. And it doesn't look so scary anymore.

2.5: "Now I know joy, and the meaning of a smile."

I must confess that I lied to all of you earlier. I'm actually not done with my Yuki rant and also there's a good reason I've been ignoring all the parts of Re:member where he isn't being self-deprecating or trying to kill himself. The end of the ghost scene is only the beginning of the end of this analysis, and the end of this analysis is pretty much just me having a meltdown about Yuki. Also I'm running out of space for images so we're doing some of the quotes like this instead.

After losing Ban, I lost my dreams, friends, and passion as well. I could only feel a sting as the wind passed through an empty, gaping hole in my chest. But I breathed as best as I could, and he tried to clear the dirt out of that hole, filling it with his earnest words instead.

Yuki still exhibits a lot of symptoms of depression all the way through the series, like the low energy and the trouble eating and sleeping, and [redacted part 5 spoilers] makes me think there's definitely some sort of connection between his writers' block and his depressive episodes. He still mentions feeling guilty towards Banri in second beat, the suicidal ideation doesn't really come up explicitly but he kinda hints at it on a few occassions, and he's very adament that he was a bad person and still isn't really a good one. But it's like. I don't really know how to put this, but I guess it's not his default state anymore like it was right after Ban left (and possibly before that, too). For the most part, he really does get better, and these things become less intense and fewer and farther between. He would probably say that it's all thanks to Momo, and it is, but he also very much does it of his own volition. Momo refuses so desperately to give up on him, and because of that he makes that choice to keep going by restarting Re:vale with him.

Yuki allows himself to let someone else in and start to love again - his partner, his music, his life. Even while he's thinking that he's just a burden to those around him, he doesn't resign himself to his fate like he might have done in the past. He's determined to become a better person, someone who can be a source of strength for Momo just like he was for him. And in the end, he does, but it's not just that. Now he knows joy. Now he can genuinely smile. And now,

I want to hear them scream my name. The voices that called out had annoyed me in the past. But now, I'll smile, together with Momo, who'll be by my side.

Going back to what I said about some of Yuki's subconscious self-hatred coming through in the way he wants people to look at his music and not at him, I. Cannot finish a sentence. Do NOT think about Yuki learning to love himself and see himself as worthy of love because Momo loved him just that much in a way that he could accept. BAD IDEA. Okay. So. It's Ban's advice and Momo's fan letter that get Yuki to accept that his fans do genuinely love his music in the first place, and I think it's here that it really starts to turn into him accepting the idea that they love other things about him too? Or that he really starts to want it and be happy about it instead of just accepting it? Whatever. I give up. I don't even like Re:vale anyway

That day, I would play the guitar I'd almost thrown at Kujou, because I now knew the power of a song that could not be silenced. I would dry my tears, open the door, and say, "I'm home."

[pommpuriinn]

݂ ໋ ・ ゜* 𓈒 BREAKING POINT

˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ synopsis ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ - with the recent controversy with Hybe and its sub label some hurtful comments were said about Joohyung that caused her to hit her breaking point

˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ A/N ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ - this is very angsty and sad it almost made me cry at times, sorry that it takes me so long to write for Joohyung :(

Coming back into reality after performing your heart out was always the hardest thing. Especially with Sihyuk and another heejin are saying about groups inside and out of the company. Joohyung was beyond pissed, like no one has ever seen Joohyung this mad before nor even during the trainee days. Currently text messages from Sihyuk and Heejin was released and they didn’t say much about txt, but only saying that Sihyuk already wanted to debut another group even though txt was only a month old. Confirming that he really didn’t even care about them from the beginning which already isn’t a good start and Joohyung was seeing red. The thing that threw Joohyung completely off was the conversation of Heejin wishing she could’ve had Joohyung before they made the final line of txt, but also wishes she was a few years younger than she would have done anything to get her even if she was already set to debut with txt. The cherry on top was Sihyuk offered the idea of Joohyung switching from txt to ador’s future group, basically throwing Joohyung around like a toy anyone could play with. Heejin even talked about Joohyung and Beomgyu’s relationship and how she’s thankful she didn’t take Joohyung because “she ruined the illusion for her male fans and would’ve been a burden to control”.

Sihyuk was willing to overwork Joohyung even more and not consider the group’s feeling nor Joohyung’s, and he was just going to do it without even asking Joohyung. Plus Heejin calling Joohyung “too old” even though she was just 21 when she debuted. Then saying Joohyung ruined a “fantasy” that she never entertained for her male audience.

Everyone felt the tension as they all walked through the Incheon airport coming back from Belgium. Joohyung was walking ahead not holding on to any of her members nor walking next to them, and she didn’t want to entertain anyone nor did she accept the fan letters. Luckily, Soobin took the letters for Joohyung. The car ride was even worst, none of the members said a word as they themselves were also going through the emotions. “Can you stop by my apartment, please.” The driver nodded towards Joohyung. Yeonjun risen his eyebrow kinda confused on what Joohyung needed since they had to go straight to the company building to practice for the upcoming tour. He was getting a bad feeling.

The car came to a stop behind the apartment complex building. Joohyung got her things stepping out of the car, “what are you forgetting?” Yeonjun’s question stopped Joohyung from walking further. “Nothing. I’m not going.” Joohyung didn’t face them. “But it’s the concert-“

“I don’t care!” She snapped at Yeonjun. The members winced at the harshness of her words. “I don’t fucking care anymore! We work too damn hard for his ass to not care about us!” They have never and I mean never seen Joohyung this distressed. “Look, Joohyung-ah I’m sure it was just the heat of moment type of thing he cares about the group.” Their staff member tries to reason with her. “If he did care he wouldn’t have already had thoughts of wanting to debut another group when we barely got out of the hell hole you guys called training.” Joohyung got close to the staff’s face. Immediately Taehyun rushed out of the car and got between them. “Noona.” Taehyun shaken voice called for her. “They called me a burden and someone who ruins fantasies…and a toy they can throw around.” Joohyung broke down in tears into Taehyun’s chest.

At this point all the members had tears in their eyes. Hearing the reality that has happened from their distressed member. “They wanted to take me away from my members.” Joohyung sobbed. One by one got out of the car squeezed Joohyung into a hug. “We wouldn’t allow it Joohyung.” Yeonjun sniffled. “You’re not burden, you’re far from that.” Soobin caressed her head. “Don’t listen to them mine Jooie. You don’t ruin anything they’re just bastards who know nothing.” Beomgyu gave her multiple kisses on her cheek trying to comfort her. Kai was scared if he talked that he will break down as well, so he opted to just hold her tight wanting to squeeze the anger and sadness away.

The staff member quickly texted Eunha to come right away and at least stay with Joohyung at her place. Eunha raced over and not even 10 minutes later she was there. “Oh Joohyung.” She instantly pulled a tear stained Joohyung into her arms. As she was hugging Joohyung, Eunha also squeezed Taehyun’s shoulder for reassurance. “I think it’s best for you guys to continue on with the concert practice session without Joohyung. I also made sure for them to cut it short for today since it’s been…a hell of a day.” The members nodded, they didn’t want to leave Joohyung but they knew they had their duties to attend to. “Don’t worry, I’ll take extra care of her.”

The boys felt like lost puppies without Joohyung. “She has never miss a single schedule for 5 years.” Kai was empty on the inside. “I know Huening, but we have to practice even harder for noona.” Soobin tried his best to somehow lighten the mood, but it wasn’t working. “I…I have never seen Joohyung this…broken before.” Yeonjun signed, replaying the whole scene again and again.

-

All of their staff members go the text of Joohyung not attending the practice for today and…further notice. The staff members had to work fast on the possibility of Joohyung not participating in future schedules for her mental health maybe even the whole tour. The staff felt the sad emotions that oozed out of the boys when they walked into the practice room.

“Ok, let’s try this new formation.” Their choreographer suggested, the boys moved into their new places. Taehyun felt like something wasn’t right with the formation, he looked around the members and realized; ‘where is Joohyung going to stand?’

“Um…where is noona’s position?” Taehyun asked. The room went silent and the staff members looked at each other basically asking who’s going to break the news to the group? The boys started to feeling the energy of the room and immediately started having panicking thoughts. Finally one of their protocol team members spoke up, “ah…guys, due to the recent events with Joohyung we don’t think she will be mentally ready to continue with the tour. So it’s better if we prepare and plan ahead with new formations, and-”

“No! We can’t go on tour without Joohyung! Are you guys crazy?” Beomgyu lashed out. “Moa wouldn’t accept this!” Yeonjun felt betrayed. “Let’s, let’s call it a day everyone.” The boys were in denial about the thought of Joohyung going on hiatus, but at the same time they couldn’t blame her with everything she just went through.

-

Eunha kept Joohyung company for a couple of days helping Joohyung cope with everything. Joohyung has stopped crying after the third day, but she was still in her head about the events that happened prior. Joohyung ate little by little, stayed in her room in the dark, and kept on hugging her cats for comfort. Everyone thought keeping Joohyung and the boys separated for a bit was for the best for Joohyung, because whenever Eunha tried talking about the members Joohyung would start full on crying. Eunha still kept the boys updated about Joohyung, and they also agreed that it would be the best for Joohyung. She will come see them when she’s ready, and even though they didn’t see each other in person the boys would always send her cute encouraging messages.

Joohyung did have intrusive thoughts about leaving the company along with the group because she started believing she was a burden to the group. Luckily Eunha would talk her out of it immediately saying ‘tomorrow x together wouldn’t be the same without Joohyung’. Even though Joohyung was slowly getting better she unfortunately develop having panic attacks with the thought of facing everyone again. To help with calming her down Eunah would let Joohyung hug her while she caresses Joohyung’s head, another method was having Poki or Bibi(her cats) on her lap while she pets them.

-

The members really started worrying because the tour starts in a week and Joohyung hasn’t fully felt comfortable to continue her schedules. You could tell the boys weren’t themselves throughout this whole practicing period, and the staff felt for them.

That was until hearing the door open while they were practicing ‘Deja Vu’ and seeing a pale looking woman with a hat covering half her face. “Hi.” Joohyung waved, looking up at her members. The room erupted in cheers from her members who dropped everything and ran to her with open arms. Feeling the warmth again made Joohyung immediately burst into tears. “I’m sorry.” She sobbed into their chest. “No J-Joohyung.” Yeonjun shook her his ‘no’ with tears falling down. “It’s not your fault Joohyung-ah.” Taehyun mumbled into her shoulder.

After pulling apart Joohyung gave each member a long hug. They all gave Joohyung a tight squeeze while expressing how much they missed her. Some staff members were crying at the scene in front of them, but what really broke them was Joohyung and Beomgyu reuniting. After Soobin finally let Joohyung go Beomgyu pulled her into tight hug while crying to her, “Jooie, I-I miss you so mu-much.” He hiccuped. “I didn’t protect you hard enough, I’m sorry.” Beomgyu sniffled, he felt ashamed of himself for not shielding Joohyung from all the negativity. “It’s not your fault Beomgyu.” Joohyung gently pulled away from the hug to wipe his tears. “I’m never letting any of those bastards hurt you ever again.” Beomgyu pouted, and pulled Joohyung back into the hug.

After the emotional reunion they all sat down in the middle of the practice room and Joohyung started catching them up. Throughout her time away Joohyung did end up going to the hospital for a check up physical and mentally. She was diagnosed with a panic disorder after the extreme anxiety and stress she went through during the time. Joohyung even expressed her the dark thoughts she was having with the members, but she lighten the mood with telling them she would always read their messages to get her through the day and those bad thoughts. Joohyung knows it’s too early to come back, but she can’t let them do this tour without her. Her members and moa really give her the strength to move forward.

-

Joohyung was thankfully for her ability to pick stuff up fast during the one week she had to perfect everything, of course she wasn’t too far behind because they have been preparing weeks before. It still wasn’t easy for Joohyung, as her body was getting used to her old routine again. She felt more tried than usual and she tried not to show it, but her members caught on quickly especially while they were practicing in the actual arena. “Don’t push yourself too much noona.” Kai rubbed Joohyung’s back. “Here drink some water.” Soobin opened a water bottle for her. Joohyung accepted the water bottle and took small sips before they continued their practice.

Another obstacle she faced was after they did their group introduction Joohyung felt her chest tighten, and started experiencing shortness of breath. She was getting a panic attack. Joohyung closed her eyes and tried controlling her breathing, but after it wasn’t working she winced and went behind Beomgyu and started hugging him. Beomgyu knew what was happening and gently pulled Joohyung forward to hug her while whispering ‘it’s going to ok’ and pecking her temple.

Throughout all of Joohyung’s new found struggles she was still able to pull through and make it to the first ever show of Act: Promise. Their whole team was extremely happy that the group was able to come out of such a dark time. Even though there is still some struggles the group is facing they are just happy that they have each other to lean on, and still put on an amazing show for their moa.

[milkbobatyun]

growing pains

pairing: idol!yeonjun x gn!idol!reader

genre: angstober, events

summary: the busy lifestyle of being idols drove a wedge between the two of you, until your love wasn't strong enough to withstand its testing nature.

word count: 559

a/n: just something i felt like writing and also my first time writing yeonjun fics, hopefully it's somewhat accurate ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ ) guys pls go stream GGUM as well, it's a great song

your busy schedules as idols rarely left you and yeonjun with time to yourselves. most of the time, it would be text messages that the two of you exchanged, sneaking off during practice or laying awake at night, waiting for the familiar buzz of the phone.

a snapshot of a new concert location, a finger heart with the blur of the famous eiffel tower behind, a morning motivational message, or a reminder to eat well.

if you were lucky, the two of you would stand close to each other at a music show, stealing glances when the cameras weren’t trained on the two of you, sneaking off into hidden hallways, your members covering for the two of you in your separate groups.

they weren’t much, but they were enough to show that you cared, enough to show that you thought of each other, even though you were thousands of kilometers apart. 

those messages were what you looked forward to each day, the reason why your bandmates always saw you smiling foolishly at your phone, why your phone danced closer to the edge of the table with every buzz.

the nights where the only lights were from your dimmed phone screen, the messages enough to make your heart sing and the butterflies in your stomach dance, your face flushed with joy.

but lately, the messages had grown more sparse, your phone a silent and sad dancer. a few hours lingered between your conversations, once paragraphs of messages turning into curt one-worded responses.

you knew you both had days where getting a few hours of sleep was a blessing, but you selfishly hoped that maybe yeonjun would message you again.

your eyes reread his last message—a simple ‘yeah’—and your thoughts wandered. may this was how love slowly ebbed away. it used to be so easy, sharing every small thing that happened every day, but now, the voice in your head nagged at you.

‘he’s most likely busy with his new solo track promotion, he doesn’t need me to distract him.’

‘stop spamming messages, you’ll seem clingy and needy.’

the phantom voices haunted your thoughts, your fingers hovering uncertainly over the lit up screen.

it wasn’t that one moment when things changed. it was the words left unspoken, the missed connections, the unread messages.

your bandmates could only watch, their worry heavy in the air, as you smiled less, laughed less, slowly retreating back into your shell. they saw how dejected you looked every time you saw yeonjun promoting on social media, how you would turn eagerly when you heard someone mention his name. their hearts broke for you, for the both of you.

before, hearing his voice, his laughter set off fireworks in your stomach. but now, they were a reminder of times lost, tiny treasures lost as relics of a past love.

once lovers, now, the lines were blurred. you never really had the chance to bid goodbye to each other. from strangers, to friends, to lovers. but now, you avoided eye contact when you saw yeonjun coming down the hallway, your heart thudded with the quiet ache of knowing what was once yours, wsa no longer in your reach. the two of you would exchange greetings with the modest respect of distant strangers.

maybe, in another life, down a different path, you would’ve had the courage to say goodbye.

∧,,,∧ ( ̳• · • ̳)  © curated with love by milkbobayun 2024 / づ ♡

[usamifriends]

SECRET NIGHT

I love the song "SECRET NIGHT" because it perfectly captures the essence of TRIGGER as a group. Moreover, its placement in 1.4 was beautifully poetic.

"SECRET NIGHT" depicts a fleeting romantic relationship that exists in a line between reality and fantasy, filled with passion and deception. It is an interesting description of TRIGGER's relationship with their fans. Many parts of the song refer to the lights, particularly flashing lights. Both the lights and the brevity of a flash refer to a live concert, suggesting that this is about TRIGGER. The song's pre-chorus hints at the relationship's deceptive nature and describes a demand, or almost a threat, to unmask the deceiver.

キミの「本当」教えて? Show me the "real" you 隠された心は Your liesならば If your hidden heart is your lies そのななめ上から奪おうか I'll steal it from above

President Yaotome assigned marketable personalities to each member of TRIGGER to ensure their success. While I wouldn't call this a "lie" or a "deception" because I believe you can find parts of these personas in their real personalities. Yaotome saw those parts and exaggerated them into a new persona. The pre-chorus parallels Riku's relationship with Tenn, especially since Riku is Tenn's most long-standing and #1 fan. In Riku's dream, he chastizes Tenn for abandoning his family and only forgives Tenn after Tenn calls him on stage and explains that all he did was so that they can one day sing together on stage. Riku likely wanted to determine Tenn's true self through TRIGGER's concert: Is he a self-centered, fame-hungry person, or is he the deeply loving, angelic brother he once knew?

The chorus introduces another perspective to what might initially be perceived as deception, suggesting that it's not a lie but an existence between fantasy and reality.

行こうWake me up！〈醒めない〉 Let's go! Wake me up! (Can't wake up) 夢を一緒に 〈どこまでも〉 Let's dream together (wherever we go) 二人にTwilight 〈揺らめいて〉 as the two of us (sway) in Twilight I just fall in you I just fall in you

The singer suggests they are between dreams and reality, a liminal space encapsulated by the word "Twilight"ーa space between daylight and darkness, dreams and reality. The singer wants to wake up, perhaps because he wishes to bring this relationship to reality or because he does not want to be trapped in a lie.

The chord progression adds another layer of meaning to the singer's desire. The lyrics in the verses portray a whirlwind romance, but the B minor key (from what I can tell) in the chords hints at darker undertones. Then comes the pre-chorus, which connects the verses and chorus. The abrupt introduction of the C major chord, not part of B minor, matches the singer's sudden suspicion in the pre-chorus lyrics.

Surprisingly, despite suspecting deception, the chorus transitions into a G major key, suggesting that the singer does not perceive this discovery negatively. While his desire to "wake up" symbolizes a longing for honesty, the singer remains captivated by this liminal existence. Ultimately, realizing he cannot wake up, he "just fall[s] [into] you".

The chorus has an interesting connection to Tenn and Riku's dreams from the side stories, but mainly Riku's. Obviously, the chorus talks about dreams and waking up from dreams, which happens to both Tenn and Riku. However, the sentiment of the chorus matches Riku's feelings more than Tenn's since Tenn is mostly worried about Riku's health, topped with a dash of guilt.

Unlike all the other IDOLiSH7 members enjoying the performance, Riku observes Tenn intently. He never once smiles during the performance and has been anxious since the morning.

After learning about Tenn's condition from Yamato and Nagi, his expression changes to confusion and yearning (the feeling of missing someone).

Riku likely came to the concert thinking that he would be able to find some closure. Tenn's departure was so abrupt that he couldn't convince himself if he hated or loved Tenn. Riku wants to be woken up from his dreamーhis secret wish of singing with Tenn againーby finding solid evidence of Tenn's awful personality. However, watching TRIGGER's performance only deepens Riku's confusion. Learning about Tenn's determination, Riku realizes that Tenn is as admirable as he knew him. Tenn is earnest and responsible, performing for his current audience with the same passion he brought when singing for Riku in their childhood. At the same time, he struggles to reconcile Tenn's admirable traits with what Riku sees as a betrayal. Riku is stuck between love and lies and between his dreams of a reunion with Tenn and the reality of Tenn's departure. After the performance, Riku wants to sing so bad that he tears up.

In a 1.3 side story, we learn that Riku sings to release his emotions and express things he struggles to explain through words. In that sense, TRIGGER’s SECRET NIGHT might be the perfect song to convey his conflicting feelings.

[sai-lec]

the recent behaviour in f1 fan spaces is nothing new by the way . this is going to be long winded get into it .

it’s something i’ve talked about on my main a few times before but the internet and especially twitter and tiktok has provided fans of the famous to seek a certain entitlement TO them . social media reduces the gap between idol and idoliser with direct interacts- the fan can speak directly to their selected person, and can at times be gifted with a reply .

this creates a sense of entitlement to a reply . well, they relied to one person so if i make my presence well known enough im sure to get one too . this has created a constant state of social media thinking in the real world . we see it all the time- morality checking, filming strangers in public, filming your family life. essentially forcing other people to submit themselves to your social media presence .

for an example i went to a concert in october 2021 in manchester. i was there having a good time. but there were several instances in which people were trying to achieve viral moments- the group of 15 year old kids behind me brought a tub of salsa (somehow through the security) and started screaming ‘we have salsa! look we have salsa’ between every song until one member of the band took their salsa at which point they cheered . the girl beside me asking me to stop singing and dancing during the songs because i was ruining her video. these people felt entitled to the creators time by demanding their attention like they would have on social media, they felt entitled to instruct me how to enjoy the live performance in a way that would adhere to their online posting standards.

formula 1 is the same . people interrupting drivers casual dining for autographs and photos - as happens to other celebrities . people walking up to drivers with their phones already recording, not acknowledging the driver but holding their phone up and smiling as the driver continues to look straight ahead before gleefully posting ‘i met lando’ . you didn’t meet lando, you inserted yourself into his pathway and took videos of him without his consent .

when i first started getting into the f1 community i remember seeing a video of carlos walking through the airport and being physically trapped by fans, shoving cameras into his face, leaning into him for photos, touching him, cornering him until he had no option but to sign things in order to get out . and i remember thinking girl what the fuck that is abysmal i feel so bad for him before opening the comments and seeing no real acknowledgment of the harassment he was literally enduring in that video . i remember seeing similar ones of charles, max, fernando most of the drivers on the grid actually .

i hate to be that person but social media has seriously rotted out concept of personhood. we no longer view the people we idolise as people but as brands that we believe we are entitled to in a selfish need to show off and get likes on the internet. so long as you can shock, make jealous of, put in awe other people online because YOU are providing them with the content of the person they so desperately crave it doesn’t matter who’s dignity is stolen . it doesn’t matter who’s privacy is invaded . it doesn’t matter what you have to do to get that viral moment . i saw a video of a girl earlier getting a hat from carlos borderline following him into an off limits building before he turned around and gave her his hat and she acted like he did that for her. when in reality we can see her leaning into an off limits building following him, im sure he was nice and gave her the hat because he is nice but following any creator to the door is not a good attitude . its entitlement to them and their time and the expectation that you will receive something in return .

the newest video of george is another extension of that . a social media creator seeing drivers as a tool or an item for their own personal gain . the harassment and invasion can be excused in these instances because hey. it’s george russell he’s a public figure people always take pictures of public figures when it’s really quite a frightening example of how badly social media users have grown to understand humanity decency . you are entitled to NOBODIES image or time . especially in private areas .

i guess this is a long way of saying you have the opportunity right now to check your behaviours . and make sure you are not contributing to the invasive objectification of public figures. and also that you are not forcing people around you in your daily life to submit to your social media ideals by recording people minding their damn business or profiting off others . thank u gn no i’m not proofreading i can’t be fucked

[aectpen]

STRAWBERRY ✯ 𝙕𝙃𝘼𝙉𝙂 𝙃𝘼𝙊!

m.list

synopsis: 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐥

pairing: Zhang Hao of ZB1 and fem!oc

status: ongoing

chapter 10: she knows

as he had promised, hao secured a front-row ticket to the concert for rina. he chose to deliver it discreetly during her shift at the convenience store, which happened to be at its busiest. whenever these two met in even mildly crowded environments, their behavior became unbelievably suspicious. one might assume that the ticket he was passing to her was a bag of cocaine.

as Rina sat, waiting for the concert to start, she couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. the only other time she had attended a fan event featuring him was when she didn't realize they were acquainted. now, with that knowledge in mind, she felt somewhat awkward sitting with a group of people who were enthusiastically gushing about seeing jebewon. When it came to him, her excitement made her feel a bit jittery.

"hey! do you bias zhang hao?" the girl next to her asked, holding out a zhang hao banner.

"no!" rina replied promptly. her nervousness made her feel as though almost everyone was onto them, even though in reality, only haemin and his fellow group members were privy to their relationship.

the girl gave her a quizzical look. "i just assumed he was your bias since you have his photocard." 

rina hesitated for a moment, then scratched the back of her neck. "oh, yeah, i guess i do like him, yeah." she accepted the banner with a slight smile.

once zerobaseone took the stage, rina tried not to seem too excited. she knew dating an idol wasn't easy, and that there's always a possibility of someone connecting the dots. but 30 seconds in she realized she was about as relevant as an needle in a haystack. and decided to enjoy herself.

several of the group members, including hao, made their way over to her side of the stage to engage with the audience. rina couldn't help but smile and wave with the same enthusiasm as the people around her. she knew that once he had his phone in hand, she wouldn't hear the end of it from him.

hao scanned the area, searching for his girlfriend as he mentally tallied the seats, committing the number on her ticket to memory. when he reached her seat, he immediately noticed the expression on her face. she gazed back at him with a look that clearly conveyed, "i know you were searching for me, you're not slick."

hao playfully formed hearts for the crowd while keeping unbroken eye contact with rina, even adding a few winks for good measure.

"am i dreaming, or is he looking directly at me?" the girl next to her nudged and whispered.

"yeah, totally!" rina laughed.

after the concert was over, rina waited around the venue lobby scrolling though her phone. she wanted to leave when the area cleared up.

"rina?" she recognized that voice instantly. 

"hey," she forced a smile, still feeling a bit miffed about being brushed off earlier. 

"i didn't see you. you must've been far back," haemin chuckled. 

"no, actually, i was far front," she replied, mustering another smile. rina waited for haemin to introduce the friend she had brought along. 

"oh, this is hyemi. hyemi, meet rina," haemin introduced the two.

"nice to meet you! i’m going to the bathroom," hyemi excused herself, leaving them alone. 

"so," haemin began, her tone tinged with a hint of bitterness, "are you sticking around to be with him?" 

rina sensed the tension and decided not to delve into this topic. "i'm just waiting for it to get less crowded, that's all. why do you ask?" 

"nothing, i just assumed you might be staying back to be with him," haemin replied just as hyemi rejoined them. 

rina fell silent, not wanting to discuss her relationship with Haemin present.

"it's okay; she knows," haemin assured, putting her arm around hyemi.

 "she knows what?" rina knew for a fact she couldn't mean what she thought she meant.

"about you and zhang hao." haemin whispered

rina felt tears welling up in her eyes. if you had told her just a few months ago that she would be in this situation, she would have thought you were crazy. she couldn't fathom why haemin would disclose this to someone, especially someone she couldn't tell from a can of paint. the secrecy of dating an idol was challenging on its own, but having people she couldn't trust aware of it made the situation a thousand times more difficult to conceal. haemin's actions now confirmed her initial hesitation to reveal her friendship with hao.

"i don't understand," her voice just barely above a whisper.

"your secret is safe with me." hyemi winked.

unable to handle the information, she simply walked away from them. who knew such a  short interaction would cause such stress.

"rina!" haemin called after her. 

she turned back, her expression still visibly annoyed. 

"goodbye!" hyemi chimed in this time.

later that night, rina craved solitude as she wallowed in her own sorrows. her best friend had betrayed her trust, and it was difficult to comprehend. she couldn't believe she had ever felt guilty about not confiding in haemin about the fact that "strawberry" was, in fact, zhang hao. She had hoped for a typical relationship with him, but now she'd have to be even more discreet.

[facetime] haohao

before accepting the call, rina swiftly wiped away her tears and patted her face.

"hey, baby!" he exclaimed with a wide, beaming smile.

"so, we're using pet names now?" rina chuckled.

 her lighthearted tone couldn't conceal her true condition from hao. 

"what's wrong?" he observed her puffy eyes and hoarse voice.

"nothing's wrong, baby."

"i won't stop asking," he persisted.

"it's just haemin, it's nothing." she shrugged. "she's just been pissing me off lately. let's talk about something else."

"okay, okay. how about we talk about you jumping up and down with a zhang hao banner." hao looked up as if he was recalling something.

"um, no! you  must have me mistaken with somebody else." she shook her head. "i think i saw you making heart eyes at this one girl in the crowd, though. if i remember correctly. "

"you got me there. there was this really hot girl in the crowd and had to stop and stare." he pursed his lips.

rina laughed at his whole bit. "now i do admit i kinda liked this dude named zhang hao. he is talented, cute,  and thoughtful. i just couldn't resist."

"what are you smiling at?" someone called out from behind hao's phone. they swiped his phone and ran away while hao chased them.

"hey! give me my phone!" he shouted, trailing close behind the culprit. the person must have locked themselves in a room.

the person revealed themself to be gunwook with taerae and yujin. 

"hi rina!" yujin waved with a grin.

"so this is hao's girlfriend." taerae emphasized the word girlfriend with a playful tone.

"you are way out of his league." gunwook laughed.

"well nice to meet you too." rina gave an air handshake. rina was amused by the cries in the background from hao begging for his phone back. "i think you guys should give his phone back, he might die."

once he got his phone back he showered her with apologies. "i am so sorry you had to endure that, those little brats."

"i think they're adorable." she poked out her bottom lip.

"traitor!" he crossed his arms.

the two continued their friendly banter throughout the night, drifting off to the sound of each other's breathing. by the night's end, rina had completely pushed her encounter with haemin and hyemi out of her mind. hao had a way of reminding her that they were the only ones who truly mattered in their relationship. despite the potential risks, she had no intention of letting fear of others discovering their relationship come between them.

[tomorrowxtogether]

Do It Like That, the Summer Smash TOMORROW X TOGETHER Brought

Meaning Behind the Collaboration of TOMORROW X TOGETHER and Jonas Brothers

2023.07.08

In early June a soundless video snippet was released in which we see Ryan Tedder and TOMORROW X TOGETHER in a studio listening to what we can guess is a new track. Ryan Tedder is known as OneRepublic’s lead singer, but he is equally famous in the industry – perhaps even more so – as a producer and songwriter.

He contributed to Beyoncé’s “Halo” and Leona Lewis’ “Bleeding Love,” and he already has under his belt three Grammy Awards for Album of the Year for his work on “21” and “25” from Adele, and Taylor Swift’s “1989”. A few days ahead of that clip being posted, Tedder had teased on his Twitter account with a selfie at TOMORROW X TOGETHER’s US concert with the jesting text “Joining @TXT_members ??” One could sense from the tweet that his familiarity with the group was too great for this to be a simple shout-out. Indeed, that video clip itself had been captioned with “A big one is coming”, and we most certainly got that.

By mid June, TOMORROW X TOGETHER posted a group photo by a pool with the caption reading, “We go Together”. It’s clearly designed to remind us of the cover art of the album “Happiness Begins” released by Jonas Brothers in 2019, as was the text which happens to be the opening line to their hit song, “Sucker”. And what do you know, it also happens to have been written by Ryan Tedder. Finally, on June 22, TOMORROW X TOGETHER and Jonas Brothers officially announced their collaboration project “Do It Like That” which will be released on July 7.

Jonas Brothers is one of the most successful boy bands of the past two decades. It is not an overstatement to declare this quite a singular feat, especially for an American boy band. Their longevity and continued new music releases to this day since 2005 – despite disbanding and reuniting in between– is another uncommon feat. From 2007 to 2009, the band appeared mainly on the Disney Channel and solidified their position as the unquestionable heartthrob for teens and enjoyed some of their most glittering years during this time. The members went on to pursue solo careers for about a decade after which the brothers at last found their collective adult identity as a pop rock band. Their being family might be brought up to downplay their success as a group, but maintaining the band as teenage idol musicians and consistently evolving over time is no small feat. 

One of the biggest contributing factors of this successful artistic reinvention is “Sucker”. Not only did it make its debut at the top of the Billboard Hot 100, but it remains their sole single to have reached that pinnacle to this day. What’s even more remarkable is it held its position in the top 10 until August, earning itself the accolade of being one of the “Songs of The Summer” in 2019, alongside Post Malone’s “Sunflower (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse).” While the title “Songs of the Summer” may not be an official concept, it holds significant weight in the industry. With summer traditionally being the season with much family time – especially outdoor activities – it’s the perfect season for music to become embedded in our collective memories and transcend time and space. Summer anthems become global megahits dominating airwaves everywhere and very likely go on to become still-beloved golden classics. We all know how “Livin’ La Vida Loca” returns every summer.

In fact, Billboard has been running a “Songs Of The Summer” chart since 2010. In the most recent years, “Sucker” still reigned as one of the most successful summer songs. Along with the likes of “Peaches”, “Levitating”, and “As It Was”, for the foreseeable future we are going to hear “Sucker” during the heatwave months on beaches, by pools, and in shopping malls and cafés.

The meeting of TOMORROW X TOGETHER and Jonas Brothers for “Do It Like That” takes place like some learning-by-osmosis for a still fresh boy band that only debuted in 2019. “Do It Like That” has all the makings of a summer hit such as its danceable rhythm that’s bouncy yet chill, a hook that sinks in quick to reel you in fast, and chill and relatable lyrics. TOMORROW X TOGETHER is certainly one of the more successful K-Pop acts performing today, but adding to their loyal teen audience, acquiring universal appeal, and getting significant radio play are not easy tasks for any artist. “Do It Like That” presents an opportunity to clear all these challenges in one go. It’s especially apropos for TOMORROW X TOGETHER this summer as they gear up to make their summer festival rounds where a song like this really adds to their arsenal as a number that can get people vibing immediately regardless of whose fans happen to be in the crowd. 

As for the Jonas Brothers themselves, they have a massive 37-date North American tour planned. “Do It Like That” can be a nice follow-up to “Sucker” as it brings fresh blood to the group’s summer song catalog, especially since the song will bring in the broader K-Pop listenership. That is why the recent social media activity from the Jonas Brothers such as their “Excuse me BRUHH” TikTok with TOMORROW X TOGETHER that reenacts that meme-able moment from the film “Zoolander” and the adoption of a K-Pop industry move of releasing “concept photo” as part of their promotional material, all appear to be much more than just spur-of-the moment online humor. In short, “Do It Like That” is a definitive snapshot of how K-Pop’s most recent forays into the US market have evolved. It has a better understanding of what comprises the market's essence. With this insight, their moves are much more calibrated, thereby yielding opportunities for a mutually beneficial collaboration within the ecosystem. It’s a deft mix of the team’s musical color and K-Pop’s commercial cachet. This masterful positioning was also on display in last summer’s collaboration with iann dior who provided a direct line to the musical sensibilities of Gen Z, and now this summer TOMORROW X TOGETHER is aiming for the charts with Jonas Brothers. You don’t get to see a band like this every day.

[placegrenette]

Towards a grand unified theory of what's going on with Ninety One right now.

Like all theories, this one can't be taken seriously until it's been scrutinized and tested. So I'll say the same thing I said about my Gap speculations: if you know I'm wrong or misinformed, please please please please tell me.

In the last couple days I've gotten access to three pieces of information I didn't have before, that have led me to say, okay, maybe this is what happened. The first was an Instagram reel from a fluffy entertainment site reporting on the original TikTok live, which quoted Ace directly (machine translation; I put this one through both Google Translate and Yandex Translate and they didn't differ much):

We'll keep putting on concerts until winter. Then we plan to take a break for an indefinite period, 1, 2, maybe 3 years. Maybe each of us will go our own way. Maybe our direction will change. We want to rest and take a break from our current image. Even if we come back, everything might be different than before. [emphasis mine]

The second piece of information was another fluff piece, on TikTok's self-reported "sounds of the summer" in Kazakhstan. Irina Kairatovna made the list, as did Kalifarniya, and a couple non-Kazakh songs (a remix of "Makeba"; Teya Dora, who's Serbian, I believe), but Ninety One did not.

And the third piece, courtesy of the lovely @bbcblackjack, was that Kalifarniya was previously in a Q-pop group called Divine, but has since renounced Q-pop; while I can't quote his words directly, he apparently used the kind of homophobic language that Ninety One has never, in my knowledge, stooped to using.

So here's what I think happened, told chronologically.

The combination of the pandemic and the MadMen arrests devastated Q-pop as a whole; when Kazakhstan's music scene finally began to revive, in 2021, there weren't a lot of Q-pop groups with the resources to start making inroads on the scene again. Instead the momentum shifted to IK and other hip-hop artists. Which should have stood to benefit Ninety One once they went independent and started making up for lost ground in 2022. I think within Pop Almaty (my nickname for the indie-ish popular-music scene there) itself, Ninety One is respected and regarded as peers: hence the IK collaborations, ZaQ cutting a track with De Lacure, and Yenlik appearing in the Yeski Taspa series. (Also remember that the guys were awfully reluctant to condemn Shiza acting up onstage when asked about him during the Zamandas interview.)

I think they expected that respect to carry over into their public image. ("Bata" is their "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)," but it's also a boomy, Future-influenced track: a hip-hop move as much as a pop one.) But it didn't: they were still "Q-pop." And that hurt them in three different ways:

The general way of trends changing; what was cool three or six years ago isn't so likely to be cool now, in pop music. So the fans who had been listening to "Aiyptama" and "Kaytadan" at age 14 had moved on, and...

...because there was no real Q-pop infrastructure, they couldn't pick up a new Q-pop-oriented audience easily. (Contrast to K-pop, where new ZEROBASEONE fans have ready opportunities to discover the likes of SHINee and Infinite.)

But whereas the popularity proved transient, the homophobic unpopularity stuck: Ninety One was still dealing with the real-Kazakh-men-don't-wear-earrings bullshit.

(This is where Kalifarniya's new popularity comes into my argument. In the video for "Puerto Rico," he's dancing sensuously on a beach while wearing an oversized pink suit: in other words, using artsy idol imagery to his own advantage. Squint and you're watching a BTS solo video. But because he was willing to distance himself from Q-pop and the supposed Gay Cooties, the public's willing to accept the idol presentation on its own terms.)

#3 would explain why they had trouble with touring last year—the canceled gig in Turkestan, the canceled-and-rescheduled gig in Shymkent—and why they didn’t really have a tour this year. I find it very hard to believe that they didn’t plan to go to places like Kostanai and Semey and Oskemen to promote their second full album, and easier to believe that they planned to and ran into enough opposition that they eventually gave up in frustration and just settled for one Astana and one Almaty concert.

“But, Jessica,” you ask now, “they were able to go to Semey and Aqtobe and the like in 2017, 2018, 2019; what’s changed?” That’s a weakness of my theorizing. This is very speculative and you should take it with enormous amounts of salt, but here’s a possibility: one downstream consequence of Bloody January might be that local akimat now have a little more power relative to federal officials in Astana, and that new empowering might embolden said akimat to say, no we will not have these dyed-haired pooftahs coming in from Almaty to corrupt our innocent youth, thank you very much. Might, maybe, who knows, if you think I’m going too far out on a limb please do tell me. (Another possibility: the actual costs of booking the shows and traveling to them have gone up enough to make the trips no longer worth it.)

Meanwhile our dudes were spending the second half of 2022 and early 2023 refining the album and spending money. I don’t mean just getting the office (though given the hiatus plans, I am curious how long a lease they signed). But my understanding is that they were financing the Yeski Taspa series, and they also paid for the “Symbaim” music video, which was probably a decent outlay. This may have been financially risky; they may have been doing insufficient future-proofing, or putting more weight on Gap to save them then it turned out to be able to bear. (I don’t think they said specifically that they were financially as well as emotionally exhausted; I’m reading that factor into events, and may be wrong.) But it makes perfect sense. First of all, they are hardly the first startup whose first-year reach may have exceeded its grasp. Also, like I keep telling y’all, Pop Almaty is a small town, and Ninety One not only want to keep their own good reputations in this small town, but grow the town’s economic prospects if they can, for themselves and for the people they care about who also live and work in this small town—Veronika, Bibotta, Assiya and the other dancers, Nurs Bazarbay, their friends such as Ne1tron and Ray and Kyle Ruh, Ace’s brother. ZaQ in particular (and Boss Yerbolat before him) has been very consistent in arguing that they want to succeed not just for themselves but for a larger musical and artistic community.

But that meant they had to regain popularity with Gap. And they didn’t. I don’t know why they didn’t. Like I said, I think “pop goodness but also processing the helplessness and frustration they felt over Bloody January” might have been too loaded for their potential K-pop-adjacent fans but too pop for fans of IK and Shiza. They might have gotten away with it in 2019, when Q-pop didn’t look done and dusted, and they bet they could still get away with it in 2023, and lost. But like pretty much everything else here, that’s speculative.

The big, obvious risk, then, is that abandoning their “current image” will mean they finally go along with what seem to be prevailing expectations of public homophobia. (This is an aside, but the anthropologist Alice Evans recently wrote an interesting essay reporting on recent research suggesting that homophobia gained currency in parts of the former Soviet Union, including Kazakhstan, after widespread first- and second-hand experience with prison rape during the gulag era.) I don’t know. I can’t guarantee you that they haven’t made homophobic statements already; I can only tell you that I’ve been bracing myself for such news for years now and it hasn’t reached me yet. It’s entirely possible that part of “each of us going our own way” will include divergence on this issue, too—that one or more of them, but not necessarily all four, will publicly run from the Gay Cooties. (To be entirely frank, I have my guesses as to which members would be more or less likely to take such a stance, but my predictions are almost always wrong—remember, I was the hotshot who thought “Su Asty” was going to be a ballad—and I’d rather not tar any of the dudes preemptively or wrongly, and especially not both.)

What I don’t think is going to happen (although see above re my prediction track record) is that they’ll completely abandon their commitments to Pop Almaty. Those commitments will vary in focus and scope; Alem’s are more likely to be in the contexts of his TV work and Veronika, for example, and ZaQ’s to the larger hip-hop scene. They have said in the past that they planned to release solo work; this hiatus would give them the chance to do so without Eaglez breathing down their necks for more group work.

I’m less sure about whether we’re going to continue to get OT4 hanging out for our amusement. Maybe cameos on each other’s Instagram or Ace’s TikTok, but the likes of Space may be part of the image package they want to get away from. We may run up against the paradox where the bro-dom looks weaker but is actually stronger, once they can just be close friends pursuing related but separate interests and don’t have to market their bro-dom to us so hard.

I’m feeling… well, still cranky. Gap is a good album! If my narrative is right then they took a risk, in insisting that they could be dyed-haired pop stars who dance onstage and still have something to say, and it didn’t pay off. And neither they nor Eaglez had any right to demand of the universe that it pay off, but still: arrrgh. And there’s no guarantee that what they come back with, if they ever come back as four again, who knows, will inspire me the way Gap does. Meanwhile, if it isn’t already obvious, I would really like them to stay away from the public homophobia, and it’s entirely possible that they won’t. In short: change means uncertainty; uncertainty is not fun.

But it’s also possible that all this will work out to their, and our, benefit: the guys get to support each other doing a wider variety of projects, and we get to listen and watch. Pessimism isn’t necessarily a virtue. So after this I’m going to quit trying to combat the uncertainty by speculating all over the place. Like I said, y’all tell me where I’ve gone off track.

[dailynnt]

AGAINST THE RULES

Combination: JungkookxWoman!Manager

Characters: Jeon Jungkook, Girl Reader, Kim Taehyung, Park Jimin, Min Yoongi

Rating: 18*.

Genre: ⚤ Get.

Tags: from friends to lovers, alcohol, drunkenness, Jeonguk idol, reader girl, disreputable, dirty talk, smut, passionate kissing, drunken sex, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, refusing to orgasm, pussy eating, finger orgasm, "daddy kink" .

Samri: "You consider me sweet?" - Jungkook suddenly asked you. You were taken aback. "Um... I think I've always thought you were sweet, haven't I?" - You joked. But at that moment, your joke (or your truth) was taken differently. Jungkook came closer to you. You could just see his big chest in front of your eyes. When you looked up, you realized that Jungkook was very, very close to you. "So does that mean you like me?" - His voice was low. Your eyes turned into nickels. "Jungkook!" you shouted. "What are you talking about?" - You wanted to run away from Jungkook, but in a moment you were pinned against the wall. There was no way out. Controlling yourself and not getting feelings for any of the memebers was the number one task. Besides, you're not allowed to do that. The company rules strictly forbid it. But it was with Jungkook that you had the hardest time. Because he always showed special feelings for you, and you stubbornly thought that he was just being caring. You thought that right up until this moment.

From the author: Hello, guys. So I finally finished it. The story turned out to be quite long. Please read it to the end. I have to admit that this is the dirtiest thing I've ever written. I also have to say that I'm still a bad writer, so don't get mad at me for making mistakes! I remind you that English is not my native language, so there may be inaccuracies in the text or grammar. By the way, this story is completely fictitious and does not claim to be accurate. I don't know what duties BTS managers have, so this is completely my imagination. I hope you enjoy it!

***

"Waiter, another bottle of soju!" you hear very close to your ear. Jungkook's voice rings in your ears, and it goes through you, making you flinch. Jungkook leaned slightly towards you to shout, thinking the waiter would hear him better. Near bar next to the guy who was serving your table, bustled over to bring you another bottle to order.

You were sitting at a large table with the entire Bantan group and several managers. You were the BTS manager for their tour activities. You were in charge of their accommodation, food and leisure activities during the world tour. You also had to keep track of their schedule and make sure everything was on time. Some organizational issues regarding the concerts or its details sometimes fell on your shoulders as well. But despite working almost 14 hours, you couldn't say that you didn't love your job. Since you were an energetic and sociable person, you felt like a fish in water at this job.

You worked with the boys from BTS for almost two years. Despite your young age, you successfully passed the interview and proved to be quite competent in your work. You had good organizational skills and coped well with the challenges you faced almost every day.

You found a common language with the memebers right away. They were all responsive and attentive. Despite the popularity of the BTS, they were just ordinary guys to you. You spent a lot of time with them and they were almost like family to you. All seven guys were like older brothers to you. But sometimes you scolded them when they broke the schedule or did something for which you had to punish them. This usually only happened to three of the memebers. The fans called them "maknae-line". So Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook often did different things, so they were the ones you paid the most attention to. As for the professional work, you had no complaints; these three were the best. Your work began backstage. You especially had to keep a good eye on their behavior after the concert. And when it came to the celebration, you had to be especially attentive. Because the Mackne's liked to have a good time, and when they were drinking, like all young guys, they often like to do something.

Tonight was such an evening. After the third day of their concert in Chicago, the guys wanted to celebrate the end of their performances in that city. The guys invited only the closest members of the staff team, and of course you were among them.

Maybe it was a coincidence or some simple luck, but it turned out that there was a Korean restaurant not far from the hotel. Of course, everyone wanted to go there. You were the one who found this restaurant.

It was getting close to midnight. Tomorrow at 12 o'clock after breakfast, you and the rest of the BTS team are scheduled to leave for Los Angeles to continue the US tour. You looked at your watch for the third time in a few minutes. You were nervous, because everyone at the table had been drinking heavily, and they had probably forgotten that they had to wake up early tomorrow to leave for the trip.

Jungkook, who was sitting next to you, noticed that you often looked at your phone. He noticed that you only turn on the phone screen but don't click on it anymore. He concluded that you wanted to end the meeting. But he didn't think he'd had enough to drink. And the party was in full swing. You all had arrived at the restaurant just a little over a couple of hours ago. Jungkook didn't want to end the party.

"Manager," Jungkook called to you. He leaned over your ear. You flinched at his hot breath on your ear.

"What is it, Jungkook?" - You asked awkwardly Maknae. His closeness confused you. He seemed so big against you. He put his hand on the back of the chair you were sitting on. Jungkook was very close to you. And you tried to ignore your heart, which was beating fast.

Jungkook was a year older than you, but you agreed with him right away that there would be no formal language between you. Taehyung also wanted you to talk to him informally, but the fact that he was three years older still didn't allow you to erase the boundaries of respect and the rules that were established in Korean culture. That's why it turned out that Jungkook was the only one you talked to informally.

"Why do you look at the time so often?" - Jungkook asked. "Do you really want to end our celebration?"

"That's my intention!" you confessed. "Tomorrow we have to go for Los Angeles at noon. How long do you think it will take me to get all of you?" Jungkook chuckled. He knew you were right. But yours group hadn't been sitting down in restaurant very long.

"Yes, it will be difficult. But Manager, I know how organized you are. You'll definitely be able to handle this task." - Jungkook praised you. You knew exactly why he was doing this. He was probably trying to convince you to stay longer.

"Yes, Jungkook, I can handle this task. But we'll stay here until 11:00 p.m., and then we have to go back to the hotel." - Jungkook frowned a little.

"Why are you doing this to us? Don't we deserve to rest? We work so hard during our concerts." - Jungkook asked. You wanted to answer him that it was for their own good, but you were interrupted by the arrival of a waiter who brought more alcohol. Jungkook immediately lost interest in you. He turned away and joined the others who wanted to drink.

The celebration at the table was going very well. Everyone had a good drinking and discussed the last three concerts. You barely participated in the discussion, occasionally laughing at the jokes that were being made in the company. After drinking a lot of Coca-Cola, you had to go to the bathroom. On the way to the bathroom, you looked at your watch. It was 23.20. Everyone was supposed to leave for the hotel 20 minutes ago. You were determined to disperse everyone after you returned from the restroom.

The restroom in the restaurant was far from the main hall where you were sitting. To get there, you had to go down to the basement. The interior of the restaurant reminded you of home. The style of the whole restaurant perfectly reflected the culture of Korea. You went down to the basement and headed for the women's restroom. Despite the late hour, there were a lot of customers in the restaurant. So when you entered the women's stalls, you had to wait.

When you finished your business in the restroom, you intended to return to gather everyone to go home. Out of the corner of your ear you heard two girls talking about how it might be difficult to get a taxi at this time, as there is usually a lot of traffic at this time.

You came out of the restroom and on your way to the stairs, you ran into Jungkook. You almost literally ran into him. Or he it was you? He grabbed you by the shoulders, almost hugging you, trying to stop you both.

"Where are you going in such a hurry?" - He asked still holding you in his arms.

"Oh. Jungkook, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to knock you down. I was in a hurry to get to you all."

"To us?" - He asked again.

"Yes. I heard it might be hard to get a taxi. We should all go to the hotel now." - You said. It was only then that you realized you and Jungkook were hugging. You gently pulled away from his embrace.

"Who told you that?" - He asked. His eyes were half open. You noticed that Jungkook was a little drunk.

"I heard it from the girls in the restroom." You paused, looking at Jungkook. "Did you going to the restroom? I won't keep you here. I'll go tell everyone that we're leaving, and you just finish what you need to do and come back.” - You wanted to leave, but Jungkook blocked your path with his hand. You froze for a moment.

"I was actually looking for you." - Jungkook said, still holding his hand to stop you from leaving. You took one step back, indicating that you would stay.

"You were looking for me? What for?" - You asked with interest. Standing in front of Jungkook in the empty corridor, you couldn't help but notice again how big and tall he was compared to you.

Jungkook had a good male figure. To be honest, you thought he was the most attractive of all the memebers. His broad shoulders and tall stature filled the space around you.

"You seemed sad to me. I was wondering if you were okay?" - Jungkook asked. He was always so attentive to you. You smiled tiredly.

"Oh. Jungkook, you're so sweet." - You said. "I really appreciate your concern, but I'm fine. I'm really just tired." - Jungkook watched you the whole time. His eyes roamed over your face. "Her face is so pretty" was only in his head.

"You consider me sweet?" - Jungkook suddenly asked you. You were taken aback.

"Um... I think I've always thought you were sweet, haven't I?" - You joked. But at that moment, your joke (or your truth) was taken differently. Jungkook came closer to you. You could just see his big chest in front of your eyes. When you looked up, you realized that Jungkook was very, very close to you.

"So does that mean you like me?" - His voice was low. Your eyes turned into nickels.

"Jungkook!" you shouted. "What are you talking about?" - You wanted to run away from Jungkook, but in a moment you were pinned against the wall. There was no way out.

"Manager, don't you think we have some chemistry?" Jungkook didn't touch you. But his hands resting on the wall in front of your head caught you in a trap.

"Jungkook, you seem to have had a lot to drink. Why are you suddenly talking about this? Or did I just happen to be the most attractive person here?" - Jungkook smiled at your words. He didn't answer. You noticed with horror how he was looking at your lips. You were afraid that he would have the courage to kiss you. Somewhere deep down, you wanted him to, too.

Controlling yourself and not getting feelings for any of the memebers was the number one task. Besides, you're not allowed to do that. The company rules strictly forbid it. But it was with Jungkook that you had the hardest time. Because he always showed special feelings for you, and you stubbornly thought that he was just being caring. You thought that right up until this moment. You were worried that if you were caught with Jungkook in that state, your job would be over.

"I didn't really drink that much." - He was quiet for a moment. "Manager..."

"Let go of me, Jungkook. We have to go. If someone sees us together they might get the wrong idea! Let's not cause any trouble!" - You said sternly. But it didn't work on him. Your seriousness made him laugh. "Did I say something funny?" - You were angry. Jungkook chuckled. You realized again how close he was to you. You could smell his perfume.

"You're so beautiful when you're angry." - Jungkook said through his laughter. "I love making you angry." - You tried to calm down, but all you could think about was how you was going to get his ass handed to him tomorrow.

"Manager, I've been wanting to talk to you about us for a long time. We've been spending so much time with you lately. I started to notice that you're always around me. We're always sitting next to each other and we talk a lot about topics unrelated to work. I started thinking about you. It seemed to me that something was happening between us. You know, like we're attracted to each other." - You stood there as if mesmerized by Jungkook's words. Analyzing everything he said, you concluded that you really do spend a lot of time with him. But your work is directly related to the Bantans. You have to be around them all the time. But you didn't consciously notice that you were around Jungkook the most.

"Jungkook... I don't think this is the right time. Let's talk to you tomorrow. You'll be sober and we'll take our time." - You suggested to the guy who still had you trapped.

"I don't want tomorrow. I want to discuss this right now." - Jungkook came closer, pushing you tighter against the wall.

"Jungkook!" you cried out. "Let's do this. We'll go to the hotel and talk." - You were trying to save yourself somehow.

"Promise?" - Jungkook's big eyes shone with hope.

"Yes. You have my word." - With that, Jungkook stepped back, releasing you.

***

The situation with the taxi turned out to be true. For everyone to get to the hotel, you had to call at least three taxis. But hailing even one was a real hassle.

After a while, and after all your repeated attempts to hail several cars, you managed to order a taxi. Since you were the most sober of them all, you controlled who would ride in which car. You successfully packed the first car with some of the memebers, namely Jin, Hosok, Namjoon, and two of your colleagues.

The next car arrived right after the first one left. After gathering everyone else, you watched them all get into the car. Yungi took the seat nearby driver’s. Taehyung and Jimin took the back seat, leaving only one seat left. You and Jungkook looked at each other. And you realized that there was not enough room for the two of you. Jimin, who was looking at you at that moment, also realized what was happening.

"Come on, Jungkook-ah, sit down and the manager will sit on your lap. That's the only way we'll fit." - Jimin suggested.

"Oh no." You immediately said. "If you don't mind..." - You asked the driver. "Will you take the boys and come back for me?"

"Or come for me. I'll wait for, Manager you go with the boys." - Jungkook said. But the driver refused to you two.

"I'm sorry, miss, I can't come back for anyone. I already have an order. So get in the car and let's go. You're holding up my work." - You didn't have much choice, so you had to sit in Jungkook's arms as Jimin had suggested earlier.

As you were leaning on Jungkook's lap, the car started moving. Jimin, Taehyung, and Yongi were discussing something vigorously and loudly. All you could do was think about the situation you were in. Sitting in Jungkook's arms was comfortable, as much as you didn't want to admit it. You tensed up thinking that this would make your seat easier. Jungkook held you with both hands. One of his hands supported your legs, which you placed between his and the Jimins'. His other hand held your waist. You could feel his body heat and smell his perfume and wondered how much longer you would have to endure this torment. You were just remembering how Jungkook had pushed you against the wall of the corridor when you heard him whisper in your ear.

"Manager, relax. You're so tense. I'm not going to bite you." - You looked back at him. His eyes were sparkling and a smile was playing on his lips.

"It's okay," you smiled awkwardly. You stopped talking. Laughter and loud conversations continued in the car, and you asked the boys to be a little quieter because it might distract the driver. The boys quieted down and started talking more calmly.

The trip from the restaurant to the hotel took a maximum of 15 minutes, but given the traffic on this Saturday night, the trip took a long time. You were in traffic and you looked at your phone. It was almost one in the morning. You blocked the phone in frustration and looked out the window, trying to assess the full scale of the tragedy.

The boys were discussing something and you didn't listen to their conversation. Jungkook made a joke and all three of them, including him, couldn't help but laugh. You were about to scold them again, because you noticed how nervous the driver was, when suddenly you felt Jungkook's hand slide down below your waist. It was right on your buttock. You froze, unable to believe what had just happened. Jungkook was laughing so hard at his own joke that he buried himself in your hair laughing. He was shaking with laughter and you were shaking with him. You wiggled in his arms, thinking that he would think that you were uncomfortable sitting there, but he didn't even notice.

"Guys, please calm down. The driver is already nervous, and you're making noise." - You was nervous. All four of boys tried to calm down. A few seconds later, the car moved off.

As the car continued to move, the members calmed down and continued their chatter. But Jungkook was not going to take his hand off your ass. He liked it so much that he started stroking you. You got angry and leaned over to Jungkook and whispered in frustration.

"Jungkook, if you don't take your hand off my ass in a second, you're going to get a good beating." Jungkook smiled slyly. He smelled of alcohol.

"Your ass is so good. I think it's just perfect for my lap." - His words made you feel hot and nervous, worried that Jimin would hear what Jungkook said. But luckily, when you looked at Jimin, he was busy arguing with Taehyung.

"Jungkook. I'm warning you. You're literally walking on a knife's edge today." - You wanted to take away the hand he was holding on your buttocks, but Jungkook grabbed your hands gently. He grabbed you with one hand, the one he used to hold your legs. You jerked your arms a couple of times and felt him grabbing you tightly. So, to avoid attracting attention, you calmed down. "Okay, Jeon Jungkook. I'll take care of you at the hotel."

"I'll look forward to it."

***

Jungkook was hot. The alcohol coursing through his veins gave him a feeling of absolute freedom of action. He felt like he could do anything. Right now he wanted to be close to you. He liked the way you were sitting in his arms. He remembered holding your waist and stroking your ass. He could still smell your perfume in his nose.

There were thousands of thoughts going through Jungkook's mind, and almost all of them were about you. Jungkook had liked you for a long time, especially on the outside. You had big eyes and a pretty oval face, and your lips were plump. He couldn't help but like you, and in his opinion, many people must have liked you. The thing that fascinated Jungkook the most about you was your eyes, they were a gray-blue color. He thought he could look into your eyes for hours. This unusual color of eyes for his nation attracted him like a magnet.

Jungkook's normal days were so busy that there was no time for any romantic relationships. But everything has changed since you started working for the company. At first, Jungkook was a little embarrassed when he saw you, but after you spent more time together, he realized that you were a very comfortable person. You understood his humor and he liked yours. You were caring and attentive. Over the past year, you became noticeably closer. You often spent time at the company, or went out to lunch together, or rode home together. Jungkook felt comfortable with you and you with him.

Jungkook trailed behind Jimin and Taehyung. You walked with Yoongi, who asked you about tomorrow's schedule. You talked to him, but your mind was far away. You were nervous because you knew you had to talk to Jungkook. But you were determined that it wouldn't be today. Because Jungkook was drunk, and there was no point in talking to him. And the topic of the conversation was not exactly pleasant. You were nervous that you were being too intrusive, so Jungkook thought you wanted more than just a working relationship. But that wasn't the case. You were really attracted to Jungkook like a moth to a light, and you admitted it, but you should have been more careful about your behavior. You blushed at the quick memory of sitting in Jungkook's arms and what he did afterward. Emotions were raging inside you. You realized that your feelings for him were out of control, but you should realize that nothing could happen between you. Jungkook is an idol who can't have a relationship. And you are his manager, who can't have a relationship with a subordinate in any way. So you're determined to talk to Jungkook tomorrow and work things out.

The guys and you got into the elevator to go up to your rooms. Jungkook was behind you. You could feel how close he was again. The guys were drunk and joking around, their laughter loud. You tried to act calmly, paying attention to Jimin, who was laughing loudly, but you noticed in your peripheral vision that Jungkook was looking at you, and you felt hot. He was literally staring at you. And of course, Jimin's sharp eyesight caught it.

"Jungkook-ah, stop staring at the Manager like that. He seems to have a crush on you." - Taehyung and Yoongi were now looking at the two of you with interest. You let out a loud exhale.

"Jimin! Don't talk nonsense," you said, a little annoyed. You were tired and really wanted to rest after a busy day, so you were in no mood for jokes.

"Why do you think that I say nonsense?" - Jimin was indignant. He walked over to Jungkook and hugged him around the neck. "Just look how handsome Jungkook-ah is. You know what a desirable bachelor he is. You have a great opportunity to get an international playboy." - The boys giggled. Jungkook laughed too. The way Jimin advertised him was always hilarious.

Luckily for you, the elevator arrived on the floor where the memebers' rooms were located. Your room was one floor up. You got off at the floor with the guys to make sure they would all end up in their rooms and not go out.

You could barely get Jimin to go to his room because he was winking and throwing ambiguous phrases all the way. The last person you had to take to his room was Jungkook.

You walked to his room in silence and stopped.

"Good night, Jungkook. Tomorrow at 10:00 you have to be ready. So get a good night's sleep." - You squeezed the words out of your mouth.

"I thought you were coming to my place. We were supposed to talk. You promised me." - Jungkook stared at you with his doe eyes.

"Um... yes, I did." - You confirmed. "But it's very late and you need to get some rest. Can we postpone this conversation?"

"No Y/N. You have to keep your word." - Jungkook unlocked his room door with his key card and opened it with a gesture inviting you in. You looked at the open door and then at Jungkook, who was waiting for you to come in. You were hesitant to go in. After checking that no one was there and that no one was following you (because you had a feeling that Jimin might do something like that), you hesitantly entered Jungkook's room.

You went inside and stopped almost at the entrance. Your legs felt like lead. Jungkook, who came in after you, almost bumped into you.

"Come in, Y/NI!" said Jungkook somewhere above your head. After waiting a few seconds, he passed you and went deeper into the room. You felt your heart go into overdrive. It was pounding so loudly that you were afraid Jungkgook might hear it.

Jungkgook's room was spacious in white colors. In the middle of the room was a large bed that was neatly made. The room smelled nice, but you couldn't put your finger on what it was. You thought it looked like chocolate.

Jungkgook was standing by the table, which was located near the window. You noticed a bottle of alcohol in his hands.

"Are you going to drink again?" - You asked, sounding annoyed.

"Will you drink with me?" - Jungkook answered your question with a question.

"No," you said and watched him open the bottle and fill the glass. He took one sip and looked at you. When your eyes met, you felt the blood rushing in your ears. You don't know how long you looked at each other, but it seemed like a very long time. You thought about what you had to say to him. For a split second, you wondered what Jungkook was thinking. You wanted to read his thoughts.

In fact, all Jungkook could be thinking about as he looked at you was how he was kissing you. The way his hands explore your every curve. But he needs to control himself. But at that moment, his thoughts were so obscene that he wished he could make them come true as soon as possible. Even though he was drunk, he couldn't force you into any kind of contact. He would wait until you let him.

"Jungkook!" you began, wanting the conversation to end quickly. "Are you sure you want to talk now? I still insist that we talk tomorrow!"

"No, let's not put it off. We have to settle this matter." - Jungkook replied. You exhaled loudly. Jungkook took a few more short sips.

"Okay. I'll tell you how it really is." - You say. The famous Korean nodded in the affirmative. "Of course, we spend a lot of time with you, but you realize that this is my job. I have to be there for you almost 24/7. Somehow, it turned out that we hang out together the most, but I think it's because we're almost the same age and I consider you interest..." - Jungkook looked at you dispassionately, playing with the glass with the half-finished whiskey in it. "Don't get me wrong. We can't have any kind of relationship with you because it's against company rules. If anyone even finds out that I was in your private room at this time, I could get in trouble." - You sounded serious. Your eyes couldn't look at Jungkook directly, so you looked anywhere but at him. You also thought back to the moment in the taxi and warned Jungkook that if he ever touched your ass again, you would kill him.

Unlike you, Jungkook didn't take his eyes off you. It was like he was mesmerized. He didn’t heard half of what you said. Because he was busy looking at you. You were wearing a black top and a long-waisted skirt. Actually, the skirt wasn't too short, it was just above the knees, but as far as Jungkook was concerned, who kept his eyes on your legs, it showed enough of your slender legs. Over the top was a summer raglan that covered your shoulders. Jungkgook looked you up and down and concluded that you were too attractive for him to stand there and just stare at you.

After he finished the last sip of whiskey, he put the glass on the table and walked over to you. You were silent as Jungkook approached you. You reflexively began to move away, wanting the distance between you to remain the same. Because when Jungkook was at least a few steps away from you, you felt calmer. You guessed that you might like to feel his closeness and you might give in.

Unfortunately, you couldn't move far away. The ominous wall was almost behind you.

"Manager, why do I feel like you're afraid of me?" - Jungkook asked you. He stopped when he was close to you again. You didn't know it, but Jungkook really needed to be as close as he could be.

"I'm not afraid of you, Jungkook. I just feel comfortable when you keep your distance." - You admitted. Jungkook's eyebrows flew up at your words. Surprise graced his handsome face. You were looking at Jungkook and losing control. Your eyes fell treacherously to his lips. The silver piercing on his lip glistened as it caught the light from the lamp. Jungkook leaned toward you. Your faces were separated by a few centimeters.

"Could you go against the rules of the Manager?" - He asked.

"Yes. But not in your case." - You were adamant. Outwardly, yes. But in your mind, you were already imagining what Jungkook's lips would taste like.

"Why not? Who will know there's something between us?" - He said. Unbeknownst to you, he came even closer.

"It's too risky. You already break the rules too often, Jungkook. And in our situation, it's even worse. Don't think only about yourself and your whims. You need to realize that the connection between us could cost me my job." - You hoped that what you said would have an impact on Jungkook.

"I understand everything. But what am I supposed to do? You're driving me crazy!" He almost whispered the last words. "You walk around me all of you caring. You bring me food all the time and make sure I eat on time, you wait for me to come over for company, you call me when I drink like you know me like the back of your hand and control how much I've had. You wear those short skirts to drive me crazy. You joke with me about sleeping on the same couch and think it goes unnoticed?" - Jungkook was quiet for a moment. You listened to his deep breathing, the sound of which made your heart beat faster. "Do you have any idea how hard I'm working to control myself? I could have gotten close to you many times, and as you can see, I really thought about you. I know you might get in trouble. But damn, Y/N am not in my right mind anymore. It's hard for me to be around you because all I can think about is you. You're constantly in my head. Whenever you appear somewhere, I want to look only at you, listen only to your voice. I always want to touch you. Even now you are so close to me, and I cannot touch you. Because I respect your space. But you know what? I want to kiss you so badly." - Jungkook confesses. He approaches your lips but doesn't kiss you. You can almost physically feel his lips on yours. "You have to give me permission."

"Permission?" - You whisper. "Do I have to say something like 'green light'?" Jungkook chuckled.

"You can say it like that. It doesn't matter to me. I want you to be completely sure of what you want." - Jungkook said this against your lips. His hot breath , whiskey-scented breath burned you.

You felt like you were about to fall over because your legs didn't want to obey you. Suddenly you forgot all the words you had said earlier. There were thousands of butterflies in your stomach that made you tremble. You couldn't even imagine that Jungkook felt the something way about you. All the two years you've been working closely with the Bantan’s, you've been trying not to feel feelings for anyone. But let's be honest. When you met Jungkook, you almost fell in love with him at first sight. You tried to act like a professional, so your behavior seemed cold. But the things Jungkook said a few minutes ago unconsciously showed you that you also wanted to be around him as much as possible. Your job was a great cover for your true feelings.

Standing in front of Jungkook now and feeling all the warmth of his body, you realized that you wanted to take that risk. It was so dangerous, but Jungkook was what you wanted right now. Breathing heavily, you said, "If you want to kiss me..." - Jungkook stared at you with his big, coal-black eyes. "Do it. Kiss me!" - You breathed out. Jungkook didn't waste a second when he getting the so-called "green light" from you. He covered your lips with his. His lips were warm and soft, and the silver earring contrasted, giving a bit of coldness. His tongue touched your teeth, asking for permission to go deeper into your welcoming mouth. Seeing no reason not to let him, you opened your mouth and Jungkook's tongue intertwined with yours. He kissed you passionately. His tongue danced in time with yours. He occasionally caught your tongue and sucked on it. It was an interesting sensation. You could taste the whiskey Jungkook had recently drunk. You couldn't decide whether it was the passionate kiss or the whiskey on his tongue that was making you drunk.

You were still pressed against the wall. Jungkook put his arm around your waist, and the further you two deepened the kiss, the lower his hands went. He put his hand under your skirt and grabbed your ass. He squeezed it in his hand, deepening the kiss. From this contact, you felt a growing excitement somewhere in the bottom of your stomach.

Jungkook finally pulled away from your sweet lips. He continued kissing your neck. He left chains of short kisses, savoring every inch of your skin. As he kissed you, he whispered compliments under his breath. "My sweet, you are so damn good." - He said, and a little too enthusiastically, he left a few gaps. The slight pain you felt when Jungkook left the hickeys on you made you even more excited. You felt that your underwear was already wet. But you weren't the only one who was very excited. Jungkook's bulge pressing against you through his pants indicated that he wanted you too.

After leaving a few red marks on your tender neck, Jungkook decided that it was too hard to stand. He took your hand and led you to the bed. Jungkook kissed you passionately once again using his skillful tongue, and after moving away half a step, he grabbed the bottom of his T-shirt and decided that the clothes were becoming a big obstacle between you. He took off his shirt, exposing his upper body. You looked at his perfect abs and toned chest. His right arm was covered with tattoos that attracted all your attention. You had long dreamed of looking at those tattoos in more detail. His body was so beautiful that you felt yourself blushing. You wanted to sit down because your legs refused to hold you up.

Jungkook looked at you intently as he continued to undress. His gaze radiated absolute lust. He licked his lips as he undid his belt. You felt the blood boiling in your veins. You felt yourself getting hot. Jungkook smiled slyly as his pants fell to the ground. The guy was left only in his boxers. His bulge was so big that you gasped. He was like a Greek god standing front your eyes. Jungkook clearly liked your reaction because he laughed smugly.

"I look pretty good, don't I Manager?" he asked with a hint of pride in his voice as he approached you. You tried to say yes, but Jungkook didn't let you, he leaned down and kissed you. His wet lips met yours again, and his tongue plunged greedily into your mouth. Your head was spinning and you knew you wanted more. Jungkook straightened up and now you were looking up at him from down to up. He took your chin in his hands. He brushed his thumb across your lips.

"Did you know what, Manager? I feel like I could kiss those lips forever." - You don't even have time to react to his words, because with one sharp movement you find yourself on your feet. You stand front him. And when you look into his black eyes you realize that they completely absorb you. You realize that Jeon Jungkook has to get you completely.

He reaches for your riglan and takes it off. "I think it's getting in the way of both of us." - He comments on his actions. Following the riglan, Jungkook takes off your top, leaving you in your bra. After his hands reached for your skirt, he undid the zipper and it fell down. Jungkook noted to himself that your black underwear looked too sexy on you. He imagined that when he seen you many times before he hadn't even realized that you wore such sexy underwear. For a moment, he reminded what you looked like in the morning before the main rehearsal of the concert. You were wearing mom jeans and a shirt. Pretty simple clothes, but it must have that underneath was something exactly like what you were wearing now. You were so fucking hot.

There was something special about Jungkook undressing you himself. You really liked it. In a matter of seconds, you're standing in front of Jungkook without a bra. He keeps his eyes on your breasts. He can feel his erection growing and his boxers getting very tight. You feel goosebumps cover your entire body when Jungkook reaches out and touches one of your breasts. He gently squeezed it in his hand, playing with the nipple. He leaned down and took one nipple into his mouth and then the other. His tongue caressed your pink buds. Jungkook sucked on one of your nipples. You felt a pain that increased your excitement.

After he finished with your breasts, he pulled you to him. "So, do you like hard or soft sex?" - Jungkook asks you with a sly smile. You follow every movement of his plump lips.

"And which one do you prefer?" - You ask instead of answering. A laugh escapes Jungkook's lips.

"Oh. I like it hard, but I can be quite gentle." - Jungkook says. "But I want you to be comfortable, so you have to tell me if you don't like something." - Jungkook gently leads you to the bed, and then you're on your back, pressed against his muscular body. Jungkook kisses your neck and your desire grows. You spread your legs so that Jungkook can fit comfortably between them. His cock is pressing against your pussy and you want him to fill you up as soon as possible. "So what do you say? How do you want me to treat you, baby?" - Jungkook asked you again.

"You can treat me however you want!" You finally answer.

"Ahhh! You shouldn't talk like that. If you let me do too much, I can't promise you that I'll restrain myself."

"I'm interested in what you have to offer me." - You say. Jungkook pulls away from your neck and your eyes meet.

"Are you sure?" he suddenly says seriously.

"Absolutely. Do whatever you want with me." - You repeat. Jungkook smiled ominously.

"Fine. But honey, if you feel uncomfortable, please tell me." - He says affectionately. You nod in affirmation and Jungkook pounces on your swollen lips again.

Just when you're losing the taste of his honeyed lips, Jungkook pulls away from you to free you from your panties, which have definitely become superfluous on your body. His knotted fingers penetrate under the elastic and he slowly pulls them off. And after a few very long seconds, you find yourself completely naked in front of Jungkook. His eyes are focused on your pussy, and you see his eyes go completely dark. He lets out a moan so low that you think you might have imagined it. But no. He really did it. You meet his gaze and smile shyly. No man has ever looked at you with such eager eyes.

"You're Y/N's fucking dream." - Jungkook says in his low voice that radiates absolute excitement. You blush at his words and quietly glad to yourself that he hadn't turned on the lights in the entire room earlier. The only source of light was one of the floor lamps by the table.

Jungkook asks you to lie up higher on the bed. You listen to him and lie down comfortably almost at the headboard. Jungkook takes your legs in his hands and gently spreads them apart. He thinks he should undress completely, but he's so eager to taste your juicy pussy that he postpones this idea for later.

He moves closer to you and lowers himself against your chest. Jungkook wants to kiss your breasts again. And when his wet tongue rests on one of your nipples, you moan. Your moans are the best melody for Jungkook's ears. He continues to kiss your breasts, and then goes down covering your body with many kisses. And when he finally finds himself at the level of your welcoming pussy, he grabs your buttocks in his hands. "Open your legs wider for me, baby." - Jungkook asks. Again, you obediently do as Jungkook says.

You fall apart into a thousand little pieces when you feel Jungkook's tongue on your clit. He runs his tongue over the sensitive center a few times, and then he completely engulfs your clit in his mouth. Your moans become stronger in direct proportion to Jungkook's tongue movements. He skillfully moves it up and down, making you feel a growing orgasm. You can't lie still as Jungkook kisses your pussy. Your hands ball up into fists, you squeeze the fabric to somehow relieve the insane sensations that Jungkook's tongue gives you. You realize you're getting close when Jungkook suddenly pulls away from you. You look at Jungkook and see that his entire beard is shiny. Your juice is running down his chin.

"Did my sweet girl want to come without my permission?" - He says as he licks the rest of your cum. Jungkook smiles slyly as he crawls over to you and kisses you. You can taste yourself as Jungkook's tongue rushes into your mouth. "Can you taste how sweet you are?" - He asks you.

"Yes!" you say, looking at his lips and breathing heavily.

"You're such a little whore. I knew it." - Jungkook says and returns to your pussy. He kisses you gently down there and then orders you.

"You won't cum until I tell you to!" Jungkook looks at you carefully. "If you do it without my permission, you will be punished!"

"Yes, darling!" you say, with a fake submissiveness.

"Say “yes Daddy”!" Jungkook asks. You are surprised by his request. You've been afraid of the word because you've heard so many bad stories from your friends who used daddy's kink and it didn't work out well. You had to admit that you liked it when a man dominated you during sex. You didn't have many partners. And almost all of them were boring in sex, but the man who was your first partner was a dominant. He was the one who provoked your passion for this kind of behavior during sex. In the case of Jungkook, you felt his strong influence on you from the very beginning.

You wanted to obey his every demand. And when you heard him ask for "daddy's kink," it was as if you felt the spark inside you reignite and grow stronger. You wanted Jungkook to absolutely dominate you tonight. Your senses told you to trust him completely. So without hesitation, you accept his request.

"Yes, Daddy!" you moan these words and lick your dry lips. Jungkook lets out a growl or a moan and leans against your center again.

He works magic with his tongue. With each passing second, it's getting harder and harder to hold back your orgasm. You're trying not to fall apart, so your moans turn into whimpers.

"Jungkook!" you cry. "I... I can't hold back anymore." - Jungkook doesn't stop what he's doing and continues to kiss your delicious pussy. He turns his gaze to you to admire what he's doing to you. "I really can't take it anymore! Let me..." - You beg. You start to tremble all over. "Jungkook let me come!" - You almost scream. Jungkook takes a second to say.

"Call me 'Daddy' if you want me to listen to your requests!" - Jungkook says. While he is talking to you, he has replaced his tongue with his finger. Your torture continues, but now with Jungkook's fingers.

"Daddy. Please let me come!" - Your pleas excite Jungkook more than ever, and he feels very tight and painful in his boxers. His balls are straining and he wants to shove his cock inside you.

"Okay, love. Come on, do it for me." - Jungkook leans down to your pussy and engulfs your clit with his tongue. He sucks it lightly, but it's an incredible gesture for you. You almost instantly come on his tongue and Jungkook feels your clit twitching. The orgasm given by Jungkook sends you straight to heaven. Bliss spreads through your body and you clutch the sheet until your knuckles are white with incredible feeling. You instinctively want to move your legs to facilitate your orgasm, but Jungkook holds you with his hands, preventing you from doing so.

Finally, he rises above you, and you still can't calm. Jungkook smiles smugly as he wipes the rest of your juice off his face. He licks his fingers, which had traces of your cum on them. While you were trying to calm down, Jungkook took off his boxers. He stand out front the bed and you saw his big, thick cock drooping down. You knew for sure that Jungkook was going to be big, because the bulge that was hidden under his black boxers told you that you should get ready. He was erect and purple. A large thick vein ran through his entire cock. Jungkook took his handsome cock in his hand and rolled it a few times. A few beads of cum fell from the head.

Jungkook was approaching you. As he crawled toward you , you could see his cock springing. You opened your legs to allow Jungkook to get in position. When he lay on top of you, you felt his cock touch your cunt. A surge of desire made you wet again. Jungkook kissed you. He also kissed your tender neck.

"Jungkook?" you suddenly called out to him. He purred without taking his eyes off your neck.

"Mmm?"

"I want to make you feel good too. Let me suck your dick." - You say and feel Jungkook's lips stretch into a smile.

"I've been wanting this that for so long." - He says, looking at your beautiful face, holding his gaze on your lips. "If you knew how many times I've imagined those beautiful lips wrapped around my cock." - Jungkook touches your lips with his finger. "But I think we're not going to do that tonight. Because my desire to fuck your desirable pussy is stronger." - You smile. Jungkook is acting possessive, but you have the feeling that he only wants to satisfy you.

"But I want you to feel good too. Just like me." - You say.

"I feel very good. I've never felt so good before." Jungkook replies and your lips are one again. He slides his fingers inside you and you feel the pleasurable feelings start to build up again. He moves his fingers intensely, setting a certain pace.

"Do you take any birth control?" Jungkook suddenly asks.

"No" you answer.

"That's too bad. I don't have any condoms." - He worries.

"I'll go to the pharmacy later and buy some pills. So don't worry." - You reassure him.

"Are you sure? I can do it with my fingers. I don't have to enter you!" - Jungkook says. But you don't agree.

"I'm 100% sure. And I want to finally feel your cock inside me!" You say. After you say that, Jungkook get out his fingers from you and positions himself near your pelvis. He throws your legs over his shoulders. His purple head is already at the entrance. Jungkook can feel how wet you are as he starts to gently insert his cock.

"You're so wet for me!" - He says in a low voice that turns into a whisper. "So fucking tight."

New sensations fill every inch of your body. As Jungkook's cock gradually fills your cunt, you feel pain. You haven't slept with a man for a long time, and you haven't had such a big cock inside you never. The pain of his penetration is not terrible, but rather blissful.

When Jungkook is completely buried in you, he freezes, giving you and himself time to get used to it. Jungkook swears at the sensations your pussy gives him.

"Fuck. You're so tight, baby. I could cum just from coming inside you." - Jungkook whispers into your lips. He gives you a quick kiss and gets comfortable to start fucking you. Your head spins as Jungkook starts to move inside you. At first, his movements are riddled with pain, but after a few minutes, the pain is replaced by bliss. You start to moan and Jungkook speeds up his pace.

Your body was covered in a thin layer of sweat, just like Jungkook's. You grabbed Jungkook's biceps and every time he pushed his cock deep and hard into you, you squeezed his muscles.

"Do you like feeling my cock inside you?" - Jungkook asks you, not slowing down. You moan loudly, trying to express your pleasure to him. "Tell me, love. Did you want me to fuck you to the point of insanity?" - Jungkook's movements become sharper and deeper. He reaches your uterus and you almost go crazy with these feelings.

"Yes! Oh yes, daddy. I love your cock so deep inside me. I want that you to cum inside me." - You say.

Jungkook wants to change his position. He pulls out of you and you regret it. He asks you to turn over on your stomach. You end up on your knees and your back is bent. You spread your legs so that Jungkook has better access to your entrance. He adjusts himself at your entrance with the head of his cock against you. With his free hand, he strokes your back, drawing patterns.

When Jungkook enters you again, you hear the sounds of your wet pussy. You're so wet that he can slide into you perfectly. Jungkook makes a few thrusts to get to know where your G-spot. And when a loud moan escapes your lips, he knows what he has found. Staying in the right position, he presses his beautiful muscular body against you. His breath burns your ear. Jungkook finds your clit with his fingers and makes a few strokes.

"Are you ready, love?" - He whispers. "I'm going to fuck you really hard!"

"Yes, daddy. Fuck me really hard!" - You beg. Jungkook grabs your earlobe with his teeth and bites down lightly.

Soon Jungkook straightens up to fulfill your request. He begins to move deeply and somewhat roughly inside you again, knowing that this is how he will give you the most pleasure. Wet sounds come from your pussy as he slams into you with each new stroke. Your moans are loud and your eyes roll with bliss. You feel your pussy clenching every time he enters and leaves it. You feel the wave of orgasm rolling over you. You bite your lip to keep your moans down.

"Come on, my love. Do it! Cum on my cock!" says Jungkook. And you do it. You come all over him. You moan a long moan to announce your orgasm and Jungkook hisses "yes" without slowing down. He fucks your pussy so hard that he comes himself. After a series of hard thrusts, you feel Jungkook's hot cum filling you. His cock pulses inside you releasing his semen. Jungkook stops and you hear both of you breathing heavily. He stays inside you for a few more seconds and then pulls his softening cock out of you.

You collapse onto the pillows, catching your breath. Your throat is dry and your body is shaking. You roll over onto your back and meet Jungkook's gaze. He looks at you and then comes closer to kiss you. He hangs over you and you hug him around the neck.

"If I had known you were so beautiful when you cum, I would have done it a lot sooner!" - Jungkook smiles slyly. You are embarrassed to hear such a compliment. Jungkook gets off you and sits down next to you. He puts his hand on your hip.

"How do you feel?" - Jungkook asks, breathing heavily.

"I'm fine!" you reply with a shy smile. Jungkook smiles back at you reflexively.

"Do you want to take a shower?"

"Oh, yeah. I need to do that." - You want to cover your body with a sheet, but when Jungkook notices, he doesn't let you.

"What are you doing Y/N? Are you trying to hide your beautiful body from me?" - Jungkook lies down next to you and grabs your arms. They are trapped right above your head. "Don't ever do that again. I don't want you to cover up." - You smile again, embarrassed.

"Okay, Daddy. But you have to let me go, it's almost 3:00 in the morning. I have to go back to my room!" you say. Jungkook looks at your lips.

"I don't think you're going back right now. I have a new desire to fuck you again!" You are shocked. Jungkook was so insatiable.

"Jungkook you can't be serious. You just did that. Do you want to leave me completely exhausted so we can't leave for Los Angeles tomorrow?!" you protest. You try to get free and find yourself pinned down even more.

"I don't know when we'll be able to do this again. You weren't enough for me." - Jungkook leans down to your chin and moves his nose along your jawline.

"Jungkook... I really have to go." - You sound a little disappointed. Jungkook finally gives up and after one last peck on the cheek, he lets you go.

Jungkook sits in just his boxers and watches you get dressed with pleasure. When you are fully dressed, he walks you to the door. You are about to walk out when Jungkook grabs your arm. You watch as he literally fights the urge to not let you go.

"Y/N, we don’t really talked about us. What do you think about everything that happened?" Jungkook's voice is serious and depressed.

"Uh... yeah. We really didn't talk. I..." You try to find the right words. "I don't want to rush things, but I'm thrilled that this happened. Let's analyze everything and talk in a more relaxed atmosphere."

Jungkook nodded his head in the affirmative.

"Okay, baby. Whatever you say is fine. I'll wait until you're ready to discuss it again." - You stop talking and you feel the air thicken around you. You don't understand why it's suddenly so uncomfortable. But then Jungkook pulls you into a hug. You lean against his strenth chest.

"I don't want you to leave." - He says above your head. "I won't be able to sleep now." - You smile.

"I don't want to go either. But I have to get to my room without anyone seeing me." you said.

"Did you like it?" - Jungkook asks.

"Are you really asking me that?" - You say flirtatiously. "How could I not like having sex with Jeon Jungkook?" - The guy laughs from your words. When he stops laughing, you relax. "I am in awe of you!" - You say and lift your face to Jungkook's. He kisses you, but differently. This kiss is gentle and careful. And you feel the butterflies come to life again in your stomach. You're enjoying Jungkook's lips, but no matter how much you don't want to end it, you have to. You pulled away from Jungkook and left him in the room and finally walked out.

You don't remember how, but you got to your room quickly and quietly enough. When you went inside, you didn't turn on the light and sit under the door. You felt euphoric in every fiber of your body. Sex with Jungkook. It really happened. You couldn't even imagine that it would ever happen. But it happened and you had to deal with it somehow. You didn't know how you would behave later in the morning when you saw Jungkook again, but you knew one thing for sure: you were irrevocably and completely in love with Jungkook. And you had no idea what to do about it.

[krispyweiss]

Sound Remembrance: Dickey Betts: An Allman by Another Name

When the Allman Brothers Band released the Dreams boxset and headed back out on the forever road in 1989, two things happened.

First, their music was suddenly everywhere, sounding fresh and new even though it’d still be awhile before ABB released actual new music.

The second - more-important - thing was that young-at-the-time, nascent blogs like Sound Bites finally got to experience the glory of the Allman Brothers Band on stage.

That mostly meant Gregg Allman and Dickey Betts, who along with Butch Trucks were the only members of the band to appear in every iteration of the ABB up to that point. And Betts, with a new foil in some dude called Warren Haynes, tore that shit up, playin’ his parts, occasionally playin’ Duane Allman’s parts and reactin’ like a guy made hungry again by the still-hungry Haynes.

ABB were playing theaters at this point and seeing the group in these intimate settings was even more of a treat than we realized at the time. As the years went by, the venues got bigger and soon the group’s annual Beacon run was the only opportunity to see the Allmans in such a cozy state. Of the many shows S.B. saw during this period, the most outrageous must’ve been a double bill with the Craig Fuller-fronted edition of Little Feat in Ohio; as soon as this concert let out, he was was on the road to see a couple of Jerry Garcia Band shows in Illinois and Wisconsin in what turned out to be an incredible week of live music.

Ah, to be young.

And alive.

With Betts’ April 18 death at age 80, only Jaimoe survives from the original Allman Brothers Band. But the music - and Betts’ outsized role in it - survives.

Obituaries unfailingly eulogized Betts as a foundational figure in Southern rock. And while he was that, Betts was also a sanctified country singer (“Ramblin’ Man”), a jazz composer extraordinaire capable of drawing inspiration from something as mundane as a tombstone (“In Memory of Elizabeth Reed”) and a top-shelf bluegrass and Americana (which didn’t even exist in ’74) picker as demonstrated by Richard Betts’ stellar solo debut, Highway Call.

And yet, “Blue Sky,” and its latter-day rewrite, “Back Where it All Begins,” are stone Southern-rock classics.

Betts parted ways with his band in 2000 - whether he quit or was fired depends on whom you ask - and my interest waned. When I finally saw the band again at the 2008 Penn State event for then-candidate Barack Obama, I learned why; the group just wasn’t the same.

Even Haynes, the prodigal Brother who returned to the band after Betts’ inglorious departure, knew it.

“As I’ve also said many times, when I think of the Allman Brothers Band, I automatically think of the original band with Duane Allman and Berry Oakley, who unfortunately passed way too soon, and although I’m extremely proud of my work with the band, that will always be the case,” Haynes said in eulogizing Betts.

4/25/24