#its like u ppl want to be taken over by uber fuck

[jacobied]

taxis.are so scary man if i didnt just come out of a 9+ hour tattoo and was So Cold id have been Gone

[snekdood]

i think my comic runs on dragon ball z time

[renaer-is-allegedly-hot]

session 12 notes

one day . one day i swear i will fix this formatting but today is not that day

Lol late is my brand

Let's go

The halflings can stack up under a trench coat

Adam has disguise self

Aerana and asyna don't need to do anything kinda

Now we're talking abt the road to el dorado

We just killed loser boy

Kenku got info from adam, cel and theo

What are we doing lmao

Adam is jiggling the small room's door and we go inside the room

Inside looks like an office, shelf w pickled body parts + cataloguing what the parts r and what they do

They were running away lmao ok

Yes we're still salty about this

"different interpretations of charm person" - jacob, 2020

Body part stuff

No halfling writing system in waterdeep

Dwarf toes, elven ears

Magic items ? Cel rolls perception 22

Weird jar w dull amber colored liquid, don't know if it's magical but noticed; unlabeled

"the jar of necrotic pee" - jacob, 2020

Smells like aloe

Adam smells his fire-resistant potion and it smells more like burnt ash

Smth else cel found has strange engravings

Just looks like metal bar

Boxy squarish iron bar abt the size of a halfling; it's strong but surprisingly light

Adam picks it up and hits a wall w it

Adam rolls for attack, 4

Nothing rlly happens

Makes a ringing sound

None of us can read giant

Looks rlly strange, written in blocky linear runes

A few things on it that stick out like engravings of ppl

Big bearded humanoids but small and fine so difficult to make out

Adam rolled 17 for investigation through files

Some stuff related to running wig shop; shop was at least somewhat a legitimate business

Notes abt billing for criminal organizations and guilds

Some ref to meeting w xant middlemen who would collect bodies

Names

Noska

Hired gorrick to track us down ??

N ?????

Adam looking for a key in the desk, doesn't find it

Head to the chest, adam tries to open

Not locked

A bunch of teeth

It's a mimic, adam has to roll damage

Adam is hit

Adam takes 10 damage

We're looking at diff things around the room and then hear a screech of pain as adam gets bitten

Slams down on adam's hand and four little eyes pop up and stare as it eats adam's hand

Mimic takes 9 damage as adam explodes

Cel shoots an arrow into the eye

22 to hit, 8 damage

Adam uses cutting words

-1d6

"hey fuck"

Adam could try to pull his hands away

Adam pulls his hands out

Adam bends down to it and takes a ration out of his backpack

"dom I'm gonna bend down to it"

The chest has closed back

Adam is going to throw rations instead, dex check

13; doesn't open so adam drops food on its head

Chest sits there looking at adam and eventually out of the side of the chest a weird stretchy amoeba-like arm comes out of it, takes the food and throws it in its mouth

"who's a good boy ? Who's a good boy !! Who's a good chest !!" adam, 2020

Adam takes out all his five rations and makes a trail leading out of the room

Chomper ? Maybe

It looks uninterested and its eyes have shut

Looks exactly like a chest now and hasn't moved; still has an arrow but just looks like a normal chest

It's a small chest that's pickuppable

Adam wants to walk his chest

Adam casts sleep on the chest

7d8s

27hp

When adam casts sleep the chest doesn't move, adam rolls perception 5

Adam tries to pick it up from behind v carefully from the bottom

It's kinda stuck to the floor and the wall; doesn't appear willing to budge

Asyna is still ape!asyna

Tries picking it up from behind like adam

Rolls a 6; won't move

One of its creepy tendrils sticks out and hits ape!asyna

10 bludgeoning damage; ape!asyna basically got slapped but now stuck to the chest

It's kind of loose now

Ape!asyna rolls a 20 and yanks it off the wall, now just dangling off asyna's arm and it's heavier than asyna thought it was

Feels dense

Adam is gonna try and tie its mouth shut

"he kinda starts flailing around a bit" dom, 2020

"aw he likes his new leash" jacob, 2020

Jacob gets hit again

Ape!asyna is gonna try and pull it off, 17 and gets off

Large clump of fur comes off and it's painful

adam "I'm going to try and use centrifugal force to swing it over my head"

"make a strength check" dom, 2020

Rolls 17

Slams it on desk, doesn't let go, nature check adam has no idea what it is

At some point the chest drops off, we stand back and adam casts shatter

11 damage

Chest kind of melts into the floor almost like it deflated, starts snaking way across room until it finds a hole and slithers up and disappears

"fuck you too chompi" adam 2020

Where it dissolves is 20 gold

"n I c e . That was worth the four spell slots" adam, 2020

Adam disguises self and turns into his dad

Adam is a tiefling

Dad is not a tiefling

Taller, dark black hair but not curly, short on the sides + floof forward

Looks more confident than adam

Same freckles

No one knew adam had freckles

Look p similar overall

Sounds the same as adam when he talks

He's a human

We don't know it's adam's dad

"a real dilf" dom, 2020, about adam's dad

"not like your REAL DAD, JACOB, JESUS" dom, 2020

Now we don't have time to unpack ALL OF THAT

Gonna find a hotel or smth

Except gotta disguise selves first

In the wig shop there is any wig u could possibly desire

Some mounted beards

Can't tell if any of the wigs r magical

I don't haAve magicccc :(

Adam puts a blonde wig on the ape

I thought asyna un-aped

Asyna un-apes and disguises self as asyna

Theo takes a long brunette wig w a braid down the back

Cel wants to pretend to be adam's child

Gets a curly dark hair wig

Hammer pants

Cel theo and adam all have freckles

It's nighttime springtime in waterdeep; it's raining

Trades ward going to find a hotel

Avoid own houses for awhile

Going to nearest inn

Let's go to the yawning portal

It is an inn not just a bar

Typ is in fact in the trades ward

One room as the father and two daughters and one room as lesbian elves

Durnan's downstairs and is friends w mirt

We head over to typ

This ward is busier than others we've seen at this time of night

Walk over to side entrance of typ

It never shuts down; always ppl here

Familiar warmth as we approach

Bard competition

Ppl placing bets, drinking, sitting in booths

The rooms r upstairs

Adam calls himself lysander

"a room for me and my daughters"

They get a room on the third story

Room on the third floor

We rendezvous in adam's room

We hear a scream echo out from the well

Adam has two plans

One includes his pants

The pants plan is we track down the dude w the pants

Second includes him singing, waiting to get mugged by the zants

Get mercenary help ?

Pants is plan c

Durnan is plan a

Cel is portia

Theo is lavinia

The doors lock

Long rest? Long rest maybe later

Adam and cel go up to one of the goliaths

"hey there big friend"

He looks like a well-read person

Takes out honey and asks him if he knows what it is

O it's honey

"well there r means of finding this out . For a price"

How much per item - FIVE GOLD

Adam hands him 10 gold and the big rod

"this is a jar of ointment that was first created by the wizard kyogton" I have no idea what that wizard's name is but that's what it sounded like

A dose can be swallowed or applied to the skin and in addition to healing and rejuvenating health, any poison or disease it may have is instantaneously cured

Can't tell how many doses in it

It's v expensive, v rare

Now the stick and he looks uber interested in it

"hm , where did you find this"

"my dad's attic ,,, he's a hoarder"

"let's make a deception check with a capital d"

Nat 1

Adam tells this guy the whole thing and the guy nods

"this is a valuable piece . Would you be interested in parting with it"

Cloud giants made them so their servants could help them build their castles

It's an immovable rod

Writing speaks of ancient cloud giants that were war-inclined

Flat button on the end of it

He sticks it out into the air and presses the button; when he takes his hand away, the rod doesn't fall and it stays floating in the air

Adam grabs onto it but he can't move it

Anybody can push the button tho

Adam asks what the goliath is offering

Offers us 5,000 gold

Adam gets his name - woetheir ????

Woetheir frequents typ when he's here

They're going on a quest; were asked by the open lord to complete a task on the isle of chault

Adam's gonna go to bed

Cel's gonna take a bath

We take long rest

Durnan time

Adam gives durnan a quick rundown of what happened

"ayo what's poppin durnan long time no see my guy"

It's morning it's 9ish breakfast time

Doesn't give any indication whether or not he recognizes them

Adam asks for scrambled eggs and bacon

Adam's asking if he knows anything abt the xants

Theo asks durnan if there's somewhere more secluded they can talk

Gestures to one of the booths and theo cel adam go over

They're uh . Telling durnan everything p much

He has look of passive disinterest but slightly less disinterest the more of the story they tell

"how is mirt?"

"he has renaer and floon"

"he's let himself go"

The xants r v powerful; leadership inscrutable even to open lord herself

Prior, durnan didn't care abt open lord

Guesses whoever obtains the stone would b hunted by the city which could b problematic

Half a million gold dragons

Could get help outside the city ? Roots go deep but do not extend outwards

Flee or contact city officials

"I think theo has a crush on him" adam, 2020

Stone is likely being taken or was already taken to guild hq

We could bust into hq but probs bad idea

Durnan says he's sure anyone could break into xants hq

Lmao durnan sounds so weighed down by life

Every now and then he looks over to well

Durnan is basically saying friendship is magic

The xants don't often come to typ and don't draw swords there

They fear it and durnan

"what's the hole?" adam rolls for insight, dirty 20

Odd expression comes across durnan's face

Mixture of disgust and longing

Uh … disgust and longing … for a hole? Ok durnan

We don't have to talk abt that I guess

Cel asks durnan to send a message to mirt to let him know we're safe but probs not gonna see him for awhile

Apparently the xants aren't too particular abt their henchmen

He says ask the barkeep abt it

Passive perception

At some point durnan leaves and right as theo says that we hear a loud thump and someone says "cripes"

Jones ?

Cel looks under the table and there's jones

Cel drags him out

Theo has a new idea "hey guys let's not go through with using adam as bait yet"

Adam looks down at the goblin and threatens to make him deaf

Plan d is to eat jones

We take jones upstairs

Theo explains her new plan

If the stone is already at their hq

We go to them

Jones doesn't mess w the xants

Why is jones rhyming

What r we talking abt lmao oops I was looking at primary results

I'M SCREAMING I DIDN'T KNOW GOODSPACEGUY WAS 81

No one has asked us for info abt the stone ?

Lmao is this like @me abt what's his name

Jb nevercaught ???? Jp nevercaught ?????? Idk who he is

What's our goal

We gotta figure out what we wanna do ig

We just wanna know where the xants r otherwise we duct tape his mouth and tie him up

"consider it stroked and very, very much needed" jones, 2020

To the dock ward in a wrecked whale oh the wrecked whale

"not the erect whale" cel, 2020 ????

There's a knock at the door

There's no peephole

Asyna asks "who is it"

HAHAHHAHAHA

MARGUERITE LMAO

"uh I work at the bar downstairs uh durnan had some - he wanted to speak to the drow"

I'm screwed

He has page hat on

"first durnan said we could stay as long as we'd like"

And he was offered money by this guy to speak to me

There's an elven man w v long and stringy hair, pointed nose and pointy ears

Looks rlly skinny and physically weak

Looking over scrolls

"guess who"

What the fuck

Nareel ??? naREEL????? WHO THE FUCK IS NAREEL???????

I don't kNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING !!!!!!

The stone fascinates him

Offering us partial membership

Occasional encouragement to go on various missions

He has resources

Treasure and gold involved, but not for the weak-willed

Offering 500 gold for completion of a task

They have captured a high-ranking member of the xants and tried to get info of him

More resilient than they thought he would be

They need him back in three days

Is this a roast session ???? Of aerana ???? When she dips to hang out with the other guy ???????

They're trying to figure out who her friend is

Jones wanted to be a painter

Adam is offering to have jones join us to maybe kill him??????

If he wants gold he has to go get it

They'll keep

"I'm gonna fill your goody bag real good so you better keep your mouth shut" adam, 2020 to jones

Oh god I'm such an avoidant lmao

Oh god I don't

"these conversations will become more difficult as things become more difficult but I think for now that went as well as it could have possibly gone"

"you will find him in your basement"

wHICH BASEMENT

We're gonna go home

To the north ward we go

You go to the basement

The ropes look kinda weird

He's not tied with rope

They're metal bands looped around him

Metal bindings

Doesn't look like he's gonna get out of it

Adam and cel don't see anything out of the ordinary but have noticed things moved around a little bit

Dwarf w dark brown skin, white/gray beard, looks roughed up - not injured, just worse for wear

Adam has him make a wisdom saving throw

Adam charms him

Approaches him first

Adam starts massaging his shoulders

Jfdkaslfha then takes the gag off

"are you here to let me out?" the dwarf

"even better I'm here to spend some quality time with you" adam, 2020

Says he has to get back to the master

Master silgar must be fed

His sacred duty is to feed master silgar

Master silgar has a shimmering son what

"Shakes the oceans with a swish of his body"

In the beginning there was xanathar and then he said silgar should be the one they care for until the seas rise and destroy the city

Controls the eye of the xanathar as the eye of the xanathar control him

His name is ot stillgeer

Adam says his name is cain

Blasphemy for adam to propose bringing lord silgar to him

Lord silgar lives in a great temple

He's the high priest of silgar

We're telling him it's our summer home

Adam winks at everyone and we go upstairs

Adam casts second-level sleep on him

44hp puts him to sleep

Adam is gonna disguise-self a beard when the dwarf next wakes up

Stage it so it looks like he had been there for a month

Everyone changes their clothes

Tally marks on the wall

It's like late afternoon at this time

Adam tells him he woke up after 79 days, rolls for deception

Rolls a 24

Looks over and says "79 days"

"am I dead"

"no but the xanathar want you dead"

"I'm free"

23 for deception

Lord silgar is a fish? A fish ? A goldfish

Lord xanathar loves his goldfish more than anything

Ot has to replace the fish

19 mans is telling the truth

Not really any sign we're being watched when cel rolls for perception

We watch ot, take turns resting and surveilling our own house

Night comes

When asyna is on watch in the tower

Sees figures start making way across street to our house

6 humanoids start trying to break into the house

Glass shatters as one goes through a window

The tapestry was lord silgar

The goldfish has no connection to the koi fish asyna spoke to

Two objectives?

Find the stone

Or control the xanathar w a fish

The stone is a map to half a million gold

[lavender-annd-lilac]

Author's Note: Its been like two years and I'm still not over this song.

Dude, exile was my fav song from folklore😍. Like, it was Red-era good. Honestly, delete that track w Ed Sheeran and replace it with exile lol. (Jk… I liked it but if there can only be 2 duets then “the last time” is the superior song)

but instead of putting criminals away, he was in-house counsel for a big pharma firm.

Wow @ this shade but like… I can’t say big pharma isn’t evil haha

He’d lost his home, while someone else had found a haven

He’s really doing the “woe is me” thing here huh

it had taken three whiskeys- neat- before he could even begin to believe it. And then another two to propel him out the doors

Blood alcohol level: u better be calling an Uber to get home

Him. His predecessor.

The Windows XP to his Windows Vista

“Here at the wedding, or here?” Andy probed,

This is such a lawyer ass question lol… like tell me ur a lawyer without telling me ur a lawyer lol

“Clearly not as good as you,” he nodded to her engagement ring;

He needs to check his hydration levels bc this is salty af

“And that was on you anyway,” she continued pointedly,

Yaaass girl, give him that reverse uno card

“Five fucking years and I still don’t get it where it went wrong.”

Like ok… I get “not being over” someone, but if 5years later ur like “ya idk what happened” it’s kind of a red flag. Imagine the Enron dudes being like “huh, wonder what we did wrong” 5 years after the fact lmao

“I don’t get it,” he shook his head, “Its like everyone knew but me,”

I CANT 😭😭😂😂 this is like the person that thinks everyone they meet is an asshole without realizing that means he is actually the asshole 😵‍💫

“Yeah, that’s the problem,” she sniffled, “Everyone knew but you,” her voice broke pitifull

If this was a sitcom/a Rachel and Ross interaction on Friends, they would play the laugh track here

“I was up for a promotion,” he argued firmly, “You know that.”

*Justin Timberlake falsetto* cry me a river 🎶

“I’m sorry, I should have been better. ”

Ugh, I hate when ppl say vague stuff like this lol. It’s like virtue signalling without putting any effort into identifying WHAT u should have been better at.

Like, imagine u design a crappy car that gets recalled and ur just like ummm I should have made it a better car 😂 dude, do u even know what went wrong? Was it the engine? The brakes? The cup holder??

“I want to be better,”

“I can be better

She should have lawyered back and asked him to specify BETTER AT WHAT smh

“I miss you,” he elicited, “I lost everything when you left,”

A lot of “I”s in this conversation huh 😒

“I couldn’t admit it because…..then I'd have to accept that I threw everything away. My second act,”

“My second act” lol @ him lamenting his lost potential 🙄

“But its too late now.”

Kitchen is closed, bitch!!! Get outta here 👋

she promised herself it was the right thing to do- even if deep down, she knew it wasn’t. 

Me: …but even deeper down, it was actually right tho

Haha this was sooo good and deserves more than my immature comments lol but that’s all I got 😅

I actually loved the ending bc I was just reading this other post about Eugene Onegin and (spoilers for a 200 y/o Russian novelized poem) in that story the female love interest does pretty much the same thing - like she acknowledges that she still has feelings for him but she’s also like “but I got my own life now and I shouldn’t have to give it up for u so byeeeee Felicia”

I’m definitely a hypocrite tho bc sometimes I’m like “u need to give him a 7th chance!!!🥺” lmao

For some reason, the worse the person is, the more inclined I feel towards them having a redemption arc haha. Maybe it’s bc there’s more of a visible change in behaviour? Like previous hostage-taking, murderous cannibal is now just a regular cannibal? Good job buddy! Distant ex is now… a repentant but still kind of defensive ex? Meh…. 😅

Exile

Andy Barber x Reader

Author's Note: Its been like two years and I'm still not over this song. Summary: Five years after their break-up, one person's still reeling while the other's moved on. Warnings: Angst. Masterlists

It must have been ages since he’d last seen her; three, four years? Maybe five. It felt like a lifetime ago though, and still, he was stuck. Andy was stuck; stuck in a moment that might have been reduced to chump change for her, stuck in the hurt of their end, stuck in the confusion of their strange reality. How could one person feel like home one minute than become like a stranger the next?

Andy still didn’t understand where, or when, it all went wrong. 

But it obviously had and now Y/n had found someone that could do better by her. From what he’d gathered, his replacement was also an attorney, but instead of putting criminals away, he was in-house counsel for a big pharma firm. Allen? Adam? Aiden? Andy couldn’t quite remember his name, though, he was sure he’d heard it when he’d asked another guest to confirm that he was in fact, seeing Y/n across the room, wrapped up elegantly in crimson satin.

“Oh, yeah. It’s her. She’s here with her finacee….”

Fiancee. 

He couldn’t believe his ears when he’d heard it; Y/n was engaged while he was still trying to pick up the pieces. He’d lost his home, while someone else had found a haven- he wondered if the man knew how lucky he was; back then, Andy hadn’t. The news had been like a sucker punch in the gut and it had taken three whiskeys- neat- before he could even begin to believe it. And then another two to propel him out the doors when she slipped away to the balcony, following her the way he should have all those years ago. 

She’d spotted him from the minute they’d entered, and at the sight of Andy, Y/n had shifted uncomfortably in Aaron’s embrace. He’d asked if she was okay and she’d lied and said yes, but really, Y/n was quaking inside. Figures that the first big event that she and her fiancee attend since getting engaged involved her ex, and not just any ex; Andy Barber, the only one she regretted breaking up with. 

Though, it wasn’t like he’d given her much of a choice; for the most part, Y/n had felt lonelier in that relationship than she’d been while she was single. 

“You okay?” He glanced down at her, easily picking up on her discomfort. Affectionately, he rubbed his hand up and down the small of her back, following her gaze before adding anything to his earlier concern, “Wait,” he knitted his brows, “Is that him?”

Him. His predecessor. In Aaron’s mind, the one that had, by some sort of divine consequence, made their relationship that much more worth it. Because of the carnage Andy had wrecked, Aaron had worked that much harder.

Still, without effort, she loved him. 

“Yeah,” she elicited, “I didn’t think he kept in contact with Tammy and Greg,” Y/n mused absently, glancing down at the dry bubbly half filling her delicate champagne flute. 

“Is this hard for you?” Aaron probed, bending to press a kiss to the top of her head, all while she kept her gaze trained on Andy, who suddenly looked ready to punch through walls- his pain always had a way of getting muddled with fury. She’d wanted him to see a therapist, he’d been adamant that he didn’t need one- or her. “I know its been a while but……” 

But she’d once made a messiah of Andy in her mind; he was on a pedestal and she’d excused so much in the name of protecting what they had , until the grief of it all had become cigarette burns on her soul by their end.

“No,” she shook her head, finally breaking eye contact with Andy to meet Aaron’s hazel gaze, “Its not hard. Why would it be?” She drew in a large gulp of her champagne, all but finishing off the glass. 

He knitted his brows, “Because….nothing. I’m glad you’re good,” he bent a bit lower, while Y/n tipped her chin, meeting his lips. It was a short one, though, she struggled to get through it; suddenly, Andy was all she could think about. When they broke, Y/n glanced back towards where he’d been standing, across the room only to find that the anger in his expression had melted away, making room for something else;

Jealousy? 

Apathy?

If he was anything like the man she’d left behind, it would remain indecipherable; he had a knack for hiding what he was really feeling under stoicism. When they’d first met, she’d called it brooding and thought it gave him the most attractive edge but towards the end of their relationship, it had become one of their most glaring points of contention. 

Still, she couldn’t help but wonder what it would have been like if she’d stayed; would he have ever changed? Or would they have gone to that wedding as strangers living in the same house- as opposed to strangers that stared at each other from across the room. 

“I’m just gonna run to the restroom,” Y/n smiled tightly, finishing off the remainder of her champagne, handing her glass over to Aaron before slipping away. She didn’t know why she excused herself or lied about it, she actually had no intention of going to the restroom, nor did she think that it was wise to be alone with her own thoughts, not when they’d been run amuck with memories that were as sharp as broken glass……and others that were as delicate as daisies. Yet, despite that, as her fiancee took her empty glass, Y/n bent her head and crossed the large room, only glancing backwards to ensure that he’d turned to chat with someone else before heading for the balcony doors instead of the hall that would lead to the ladies room.

The frigid air hit her face, as well as the skin let exposed by her one shoulder gown, in a rush as a gentle gust of wind stirred the city the minute Y/n stepped onto the balcony, shutting the door behind herself. Inhaling deeply, she took a few quick steps towards the railing, only stopping when she could grab the cold wrought iron in her hands. 

She shouldn’t have gone to that wedding, it wasn't enough to think he'd stopped hanging out with their friends. 

She shouldn’t be giving that much consideration to a man who hadn’t appreciated her worth. 

She shouldn’t-

“Hey,” the sound of an all too familiar voice was enough to make her breath audibly catch in her throat. Instead of turning around, Y/n clutched the railing tighter and squeezed her eyes shut; maybe if she pretended he wasn’t there, he’d go away. 

Maybe she didn’t want him to go away. 

Sucking in a sharp breath, Y/n whipped her head around, taking a moment to drink in Andy, illuminated only by dim city lights and the traces of intimate lighting that seeped out of the door, opened just a sliver. He looked like a dream; dressed to the nines in a tailored tux and when he absently smoothed his hand over the lapel of his coat, she caught a glimpse of cuff links she’d gifted him on his wrists- diamond encrusted horseshoes, for good luck. “Hi,” she breathed, shoulders falling, as if she’d just defeated herself. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Here at the wedding, or here?” Andy probed, finally shutting the door in favor of stepping closer. 

Y/n shrugged; the correct answer might have been ‘both’, but saying it felt wrong somehow, so she didn’t. “How have you been?” 

Andy licked his lips, “Clearly not as good as you,” he nodded to her engagement ring; a stunning trilogy of diamonds set in delicate, twin sapphire encrusted bands. Scoffing, Y/n rolled her eyes; of course one of the first things he’d say to her after five years was a snarky swipe about her moving on. “Sorry,” he mumbled, shaking his head. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’ve been um….” He raked his short nails through his beard, and as she saw him do it, Y/n longed to do the same- she used to love the roughness of his scruff under the softness of her palms. “I guess I’ve been better,” he huffed a lonesome, dry chuckle. 

Frowning, Y/n reached out to grasp his bicep, and while she knew the gesture might have been a tad too intimate, she couldn’t help but look at him and feel like he needed comfort; broken and tired. “What’s wrong?”

He shook one shoulder and threw a glance at her hand on his arm and relented, “You’re gone.”

Y/n sighed again, dropping her hand and taking a step back, “You can’t-”

“I know,” Andy hung his head. 

“And that was on you anyway,” she continued pointedly, the twinge of heartbreak evident in her tone. She hated thinking about it; the moment that she’d come to terms with the fact that Andy was never going to change and being in a relationship with him meant always being kept at an arm’s length. 

“I know,” he threaded his hand through his hair while stuffing his other hand into the pocket of his black slacks, “God,” he hissed, suddenly, driving his side of his fist against the top of the railing, “But I don’t fucking know. We were good, Y/n.”

She shook her head, “Don’t do this Andy,” Y/n reasoned, adding with emphasis, “We’ve done this before,” the whole song and dance; her explaining why she needed to leave and him arguing that he’d thought they were fine. “And its been five years,” she licked her lips, “You’ve had too much to drink and-”

“Its been five years,” he shook his head, “Five fucking years and I still don’t get it where it went wrong. Five years and I  can’t get over you- you were everything, Y/n.”

She scoffed, casting her gaze towards the darkened distance, only illuminated by little yellow and white dots peppered in buildings, “You kept saying that-”

“Because its true,” he promised earnestly, “You were all that I had, you mean everything to me, and you left like it was all nothing.”

“I left because you started acting like were nothing! I was always the last thing on your mind,” exhaling heavily, Y/n shook her head, “You never talked to me-”

“Oh, come on,” Andy scoffed, “We talked-”

“Not about anything that mattered,” Y/n snapped, “You kept everything all…..bottled in. I felt like…..like I was looking at you through a window or something; I never knew what was going on with work, what you were feeling.”

Andy scrubbed his hand over his beard again, shaking his head, “You could have asked.”

“I did,” she stressed, moistening her lips, “But talking to you was like talking to a fucking brick wall,” he glanced away and Y/n could see him resisting fact; refusing to believe that he could have a hand in her leaving,

In their end.

“I don’t get it,” he shook his head, “Its like everyone knew but me,” he slumped his shoulders, and even in the dimness she could see his deep frown.

“Yeah, that’s the problem,” she sniffled, “Everyone knew but you,” her voice broke pitifully, “We’d been falling apart for months; all of our friends could see it, my parents- everyone. And you were just….” Y/n shrugged, “It was like you weren’t even there.”

Or maybe, it was like she wasn’t there. 

“Do you know what that felt like?" Her shoulders slumped and she gestured absently with her hands, "You’d come home and barely say anything. We’d have dinner together and you’d work right through it- wouldn’t even notice if I got up,” she sighed, “When we went out, you’d spend half the time answering emails- or doing literally anything else. God," Y/n scoffed, "I honestly started to think that you thought the weather was more interesting than I was,” she chuckled dryly, “I don’t know if you were lazy or just comfortable, but it hurt like hell.”

“I was up for a promotion,” he argued firmly, “You know that.”

“Yeah, well that doesn’t mean I stopped existing," her tone was firm, despite the pain weighing it down, "I’m not a toy, you can’t just put me away when you don't have time to play,” knitting her brows furiously, Y/n folded her arms.

“That wasn’t how I meant it-”

“Well that’s how it felt,” she countered evenly.

Andy didn’t speak for a while and Y/n suspected that it was because he didn’t really have a way to defend himself that time. The silence must have persisted for at least five or six minutes, until he said softly, “I’m sorry, I should have been better. ”

Still angry, Y/n scoffed and swiped at her eyes, “Yeah, you should have,” so they could have stayed together, because as much as she hated to admit it, she still thought of him. 

“I want to be better,” hesitantly, Andy reached out for her hand, and despite knowing that it wasn’t entirely appropriate, she let him have it. “I can be better, I know it. You know it,” he professed earnestly. Andy lifted her hand between them, and spared a moment to glance down at her ring, before stepping closer. She knew she should have stepped back, or even just pulled away. But she didn’t, instead, when he bent his head a little, Y/n tipped her chin and tried to meet his eyes.

“Andy…..” She rasped when his lips had gravitated so close to hers that she could almost taste the liquor on them. 

He brought his free hand up to her face, touching her jaw in a backhanded caress and, unwittingly, Y/n leaned into his touch. “I miss you,” he elicited, “I lost everything when you left,” his nose was touching hers and Y/n’s breathing was heavy in anticipation of what was to come. 

Shutting her eyes tightly, she felt a warm trickle seep from her tangled lashes; every memory she’d made with him flitted through her mind like a film on a projector. Every date, every kiss, every ‘I love you’. They’d had so many good times, and in that moment, standing so close to him, the bad ones seemed muted. “Don’t do this,” she pleaded weakly, knowing that there wasn’t enough will in her veins to tug her away from him, “Please.”

Y/n wanted to kiss him. She missed him too. 

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he choked out, tightening his grip on her hand a moment before interlocking their fingers, “Do you think about me?” There was an urgency in the question, one that almost hurt her to hear. 

“Of course I do,” she admitted, breath hitching, “But you hurt me.”

“I didn’t mean to. I promise, I would never want to hurt you,” his thumb shifted to swipe her slow tears away and Andy sniffled softly, “If I could do it all again….” He didn’t need to finish for her to know where he was going; she’d only thought the same thing for the past five years.

“But you can’t,” her voice was thick with emotion as the realization dawned upon her; he was five years too late. She had a fiancee, her life had gone on after she’d walked out of that door and it wasn’t fair to Aaron, the man who never let her question his affections, to stand there with Andy like that. A strained sob broke from her lips as Y/n finally stumbled backwards, pulling her hand away from his so she could point weakly, “You can’t just apologize and expect everything to change.” Aaron was kind and sweet, he listened and let her in. They were solid,  he was safe- he didn’t deserve her betrayal. 

Maybe if they'd seen each other again before she’d gotten engaged. Maybe if he’d reached out after she’d left.

Maybe if he’d actually cared instead of throwing his hands up in defeat as she walked to her car.

“I should go back inside,” her low tone was husky and Y/n struggled to come by the words, “It was….it was good seeing you Andy,” swallowing thickly, Y/n turned away, headed back towards the doors. 

“You want the truth? You wanna know how I really am? You wanna know how I fucking feel?” Andy began desperately as she closed her hand in on the knob, “Bad. I feel bad, I’ve been bad; I’ve feel like shit everyday because….because I pushed away the one person that actually gave a damn about me. And I’ve known it for a damn long time but I couldn’t admit it, not even just now. I couldn’t admit it because…..” His voice broke, “I couldn’t admit it because…..then I'd have to accept that I threw everything away. My second act, " he gestured widely, outstretching his arms before dropping them heavily at his side, "The first person that took a chance on me after my life went to shit.” He paused for a minute, and Y/n couldn’t bare to look at him knowing there’d been pain written all over his face, “All those people in there, all of them- they only give a shit about me because of you. I couldn’t do that on my own; get myself together, move on, make friends.”

When she’d met him, Andy had practically been a shell; caught in a work/home cycle with not even a trace of a social life. He was still reeling from losing Laurie and Jacob and it had taken months- almost a year- of work on her end for him to even entertain her offer to grab lunch together. She used to joke that she’d wore him down while Andy adamantly argued that he’d only refused for so long because he’d thought she was only asking him out on a pity date. 

“I get that I’m not your problem anymore,” he added in a moment of tense silence, “But-”

“You were never a problem,” Y/n countered without turning around. Turning the knob, she tugged the door open, “But its too late now.”

Too late for apologies, too late for him to decide to work on himself. 

Too late for her to turn back. 

Clenching her jaw, Y/n headed back into the main room, desperately trying to keep it together. Like it had the first time, leaving Andy broke her heart, but like she had the first time, she promised herself it was the right thing to do- even if deep down, she knew it wasn’t. 

[britishb3atlemania]

ive been stressed tf out since last night bc my friend invited me to a new years eve party downtown and my ma would gaslight the shit outta me so i wouldnt b able to go (im super easily manipulated even as an adult and bc my younger brother has been a complete asshole to the whole fam recently i dont wanna ~add~ to that and theres just a bigger expectation for me to b perfect) but my dad talked to her and last min let me leave after dinner to catch a train downtown (40min away) but it was like... a lil late notice basically i spent midnight at the subway lmfao but thats whatever like i got the the party fine and friend was already sloshed

which was nice to see her have a good time and i started drinking but keeping in mind not to b too fucked just to make sure she ok bc i love her right

but she gets so disastrous (drunk and high on weed AND two bums of coke) and calls this shit white guy she had a crush on 3 yrs ago who ghosted her and she now HATES and basically drunkenly tries to convince him to let her come over to have sex

and like her friend (lets say Doug) and I are here hearing this and know she caNNOT go out is in NO condition to let alone go fuck someone atm bc its hella fukin yikes...

we keep pipping over the phone (she was on speaker) to this white dude named Asswipe that she is too intoxicated on a lot of stuff to go out, and this is a terrible idea and as the sober one on this he should give her a definite “no” so she can leave it be. 

He doesnt (bc men are scum lmaooo)

Basically makes me extra anxious for many reasons, from less to most important:

-My ma/grandparents are pissed at me for ditching new years for the first time and my abuelita has depression and when shes rlly upset will call me crying and manipulate me so i was terrified of that lmao

-I have terrible social anxiety and I begged fam to let me come to be with my best friend for a special night, even though its at her friend’s house with so many ppl i dont know. Also bc the plan was i was allowed to crash the night there with her but now shes trying to run away ALONE to this dudes house and leave me. And im selfish and felt rude and anxious to spend the night at a strangers house w/o her.

-I reminded her i came here for her and im anxious if she leaves and she just told me ~jokingly~ that she cant fuck me bc im taken and neither cant Doug bc he’s also taken so at least with Asswipe she can fuck someone. Which i think is like... a ginormous low but she was sloshed so i tried not to let that get me all upset

-I had a p similar experience of a ~friendly acquaintance~ taking advantage of me when i was drunk and it has fucked me up since and i told her abt this in confidence so she knows how bad that is and it was rlly getting to me thinking my friend could go through that tonight

-Additionally, if someone is so fucking intoxicated they CANNOT give consent in that state SORRY but idc how many times u say ur consenting “despite being high/drunk” if you keep stumbling over ur feet and about to vom all night and drop ur phone every 2 sec, etc, u ARE NOT in a condition to make such a heavy decision

She ends up tricking us and runs away ALONE to this guys house who I DO NOT KNOW the address of. Asswipe knows perfectly NO ONE approves of this, knows she is PLASTERED, and hes not, heard me say this is INCREDIBLY YIKES AND TAKING ADVTANGE OF SOMEONE

So 3 of us at the party rlly care for my friend and are super pissed/concerned/anxious, Doug, her friend who through the party, ie. Karla, and I. Doug has to go home, Karla and I take an uber with friends to a house party someone overheard her talking about going to. turns out she tricked them and didnt go there obvi

Karla has Asswipe on fb, messages him and demands him to call her an uber and send her home, even offering to pay it herself. He gave a bs answer of “idk if she wants to/// she’s fine”

My friend basically ignored all our calls/texts for 1.5 hrs, finally mssgs back Karla (bc even tho weve been friends forever i know and am self aware shes closer to Karla now and her uni friends which is an insecurity but i get it lol), then me. Mostly interacts with Karla but barely says much.

Wont call us when we ask, tells us not to blame Asswipe, thats shes fine, some happy new yr bs

Idk i was so worried and pissed and anxious so i just flat out told her that i love her but if she thinks she is sober enough to make that decision then she should be sober enough that it was a shitty move on her part to leave us like this when she knows we’re worried sick.

Hasnt replied to me since lmao. But she DID mssg back Karla in the morning to tell her shes fine. I leave Karla’s house early bc fam stuff, but she shows up later to pick up her stuff. I guess theyre fine now

But she hasnt replied to me all day, hasnt mssgd shit.

And i hate it bc i just hope she was fine (Karla says shes good) but i know my friend and she is more attached to her than me and it just kind of breaks my heart that they can make ammends but me who was worried sick and was with her the most to make sure she was ok and all the same jazz as Karla and Doug, she wont mssg me. I already caved and sent her a mssg asking if she was ok and she still hasnt replied and im just... not doing ok now lol i turned this into a selfish thing abt me but i am so worried for her and i just hate that im not allowed to be worried for her or be angry ever bc its like... any excuse for her to stop being my friend...

this was so long and if someone read it i love you ugh im just so... lost idk what to do. usually i apologize even when something is not my fault bc i dont want us to not b friends. But this fuked me up and i just sincerely hope it doesnt fuck her up wtvr the fuk went down with her and asswipe so i dont think its an ok situation to make myself into the one that is wrong... bc i dont think i am... but ugh idk second opinions gr8ly appreciated

[changji]

There’s a limit for when you’re in school but in summer I can do whatever I want bc it’s a Free Country 🤪 u miss are not allowed to get sick u hear me or else I will personally fly to cali & nurse you 😤 A STARBUCKS DRINK FOR $4.85 EYE- THAT’S SO GOOD WTFF I DON’T THINK I’VE PAID LESS THAN $5 FOR A DRINK THERE. You’re really out here like that

Ah I forgot to say how often I climb but I usually try for 3+ times a month bc the gym is pretty far away (by far i mean 2 different buses & an hour of crying). When I first started I was being taught how to tie a figure 8 knot (which is the most important one you need so you don’t die) and i couldn’t fucking get it right so the instructor had to go over it 193837 times & was getting annoyed @ me. LOL I couldn’t look him in the eye at all and my face had never been redder that day lmfao

At least ur teachers like you. I’m like that one student that never says anything and just sits there with an rbf so idk what my teachers think of me LOL. Half the time they don’t know I’m there. I got marked absent a couple times before but i was there in class 😤😤 ohh that’s cool. Band season runs the entire year for my school but that’s probably bc it’s a credit course. Newborn babies kinda are, it’s when they reach a couple months old they become cute

LOL how do you pronounce breakfast? I say salmon with the L & I get hated on by everyone. Taeyomi was great but changji is even better. Like changbin + jisung? Genius. Legends Only. Jkhsdiweiihfew I’m glad my url has an impact on ur daily life 🥵🥵 languages are so hard, I’m literally illiterate in every single one ik. Ikr? Our names are so easy like how do u mispronounce arella? One time  someone spelt my name as Adly and I wanted to Perish

The chance the skip 2 math levels? Once again ur a genius legend. I could never esp w math holy moly. Okay dark ones it is!! I was thinking either the 1st or 2nd ones? Which do u like more? Ah new friends. The first weeks are always so awkward bc you don’t really know them well so you don’t know how much of urself you wanna expose (or it’s just me. I’m too much of a crackhead apparently). Wait a moment. Do you have multiple buildings at ur school like a uni campus??

Make out spots at my school is this one sketchy stairwell where all the scary ppl are. The whole school just smells like weed bc 90% of the school are potheads. Alright that’s the deal if we die we die together 😤 I have never heard of bathroom portables before,, those sounds so Extra. Are they like a porta potty? Omg speaking of older grades a bunch of girls who graduated last year came to my work & I was like “oh shit lol ik u all this is awkward” 

Oof I’m the older sister so like. Favouritism never works in my favour. My sister will literally start a fight w me but I’m the only one who gets lectured in the end. Like. Bitch u started this 😤 I’m on the older side out of my cousins so I’m just Ignored 😪 I’m placing my bet on 2k words right now for our convos 

-

ah makes sense, i thought there was a time for summer too but it might just be here or i’m dumb 😔 I CANT AFFORD TO GET SICK MISSING ONE DAY OF SCHOOL WILL NOT HELP ME AT ALL ! but thank u for ur concern miss, u should just fly to cali anyway 😪 myb i’ll go to u can i hitchike from here ?? IT IS SO GOOD ITS AMAZING IT WAS SO CHEAP but the drink was super sweet 🤢 i have converted back to normal lattes with no syrup. peet’s is usually 5.20 for my drink and it’s so strong i don’t need extra shots ☺️ 

3 times,, a month,, i go to the mall like 3 times a week, look @ u being so athletic! tbh i sound lame but i’ve never taken a bus (other than a school bus for field trips) before like. buses here are lowkey sketch but it’s mostly college students. i rely on my parents and uber 🤧 sometimes i walk but. i don’t like to but if i have to i will oop. it takes an hour to get there and an hour back then right? i can’t imagine bro omg i’d just die. i know how to knot my shoelaces and never being able to untangle them so i now wear slip ons 🤪 poor ada, were like the same person but that was me when i took a knitting class for some reason and couldn’t do any of it 😪

okay idk if i told u yet but my ap euro teacher asked who’s been to italy so i raised my hand, he asked how it was and i said “the gelato is rly good” and his face was just. utter disappointment. turns out he was asking abt the art but he didnt clarify it and we weren’t even talking abt art so now i’m known as That Girl 😔 it’s hard to miss me oop, if it’s quiet then i’m sleeping & all my teachers last year knew this 😪 how do u get marked absent?? i wish band was a credit course but it’s only extra curricular 😔 are ur teachers snakes i will Step on them. newborns look fake but yeah they get cute when they’re like half a year old. 

like. brek-fust by my friends says brek-fist like it’s more of a u sound than an i but go off u idiots. salmon with the L,, ada,, no,, if u say carmel instead of caramel i’m gonna riot. ugh thanks bro i was lucky someone gave me this url, but nohyuckclub? aka the author of the most legendary mark lee social media au? A Whole Legend, but treerachas? my absolutely fave 🥺 languages are dumb i don’t know english i don’t know spanish my vocab consists of sksk and i oop, and that’s it. HOW DO U MISPRONOUNCE ADA LIKE. when i saw ur name i was like ay-da not ah-da, ppl need to learn bro it’s just said how it’s spelled. AND PERISH LOL I LOVE THE WORDS U USE

i’m actually dumb tho i just hate math oops, i’m more of a lunch kind of person if u know what i mean 😉 JK IM GROSS STOP ME and i like the 2nd one (the red one right? idk it’s all pretty u choose) i don’t wanna expose myself but it happens bc i’m just naturally a crackhead oops. but yeah we have multiple buildings! my campus is pretty small tbh? compared to other schools we’re really small, there’s like 2k kids here and i wanna die. it’s so crowded in the halls like get away from me u smelly thot. we have 3 buildings connected by 3 hallways, and a few other ones like the science buildings, music room, portables, 2 gyms and classrooms. in total i think there are 10 buildings? how’s ur campus like?

do you have one big building or smth? in my middle school had stairs and. stairs aren’t fun i hate them. if people kissed on the stairs everybody would hate them bc they’re blocking the halls LOL. we have our legendary D wing bathrooms where people smoke its so funny how often i got offered a roll,,, people straight up vape in class its so funny. but yeah a porta party. disgusting 🤢 in my head that’s what i call it LOL, a portable bathroom… i hate when i see people from school or just. ppl in general, did they recognize u?

U SPELL FAVORITISM WITH A U THATS SO WEIRD FUCKING AMERICA but im lowkey spoiled (highkey) but i. don’t pick fights, its my brother who does that LOL, he gets lectured tho so,,, not my problem oops i have a lot of cousins but we split it when we were younger so its wrong but teens (now adults but still called teens), kids (now teens but still called kids), and the adult adult cousins (which is the only correct one LOL) but i fit into the kid category so,,,, also we have almost 20k im literally SCREAMING, including this we’re at 20,712 words im-