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#is it the past? is it the future? is it some sort of alternate reality? who knows!
snekdood · 1 year
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i think my comic runs on dragon ball z time
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berrybanana-arts · 2 months
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Billford Reccs (as requested!)
@gratych requested some CONSENSUAL Billford as there is a LOT of noncon and dubcon out there... NOTE- Always check the tags!! These are Billford reccs so abusive/manipulative behaviour tends to be in literally all of these even if only as a 'oh god in hindsight this is sad' way.
RF- Researcher Ford (Pre-betrayal) PB- Post-betrayal W- Weirdmageddon AU- Alternative Universe (e.g. One Of Us)
Just as a note- I'm pretty sure ALL of these are Triangle!Bill.
*SFW*
Starstruck by FireFlerg899- RF Cute and fluffy with a hint of angst and manipulation because it's pre-betrayal. What a contradiction! Stargazing.
Something Said Before- FireFlerg899- RF, PB, W Mentions of torture, goes through all 3 eras echoing the same phrase.
To Destroy, To Remake- FireFlerg899- AU, PB Deliciously dark Ford, tempted by power!
Break and Bind yourself to Me- kingsteeth-RF, PB Poetic and different. I enjoyed this.
Future Talk- anysin, RF Bill talks to Ford about the future and coming to visit him. Light warning for pain/blood/emotional manipulation. Funny Bone - anysin, RF Ticking, fluff
Silent Lies- Perlumi, PB Ford reminisces on the past. Minor self-harm, angst, references to NSFT themes but no actual sex.
Knock on My Door- sugarboat, PB (portal) I LOVE this one. Bill finds and patches up a wounded Ford because only HE is allowed to mess with Sixer. Graphic description of injuries, hurt/comfort, weird fluff.
The Writing of Destiny- Nelja, RF Oof. Love this one- Ford believes everything has led him to Bill. Lovely fic.
Reality is an Illusion- chaseandcatch, RF, PB OOF. Sweet and short. Ford looks back on his first journal entry about Bill with... uh... new information.
I can be cruel to you, my love- orphan_account, RF? PB? Unsure. Prose poem, love this series (Hymns).
thoughts that are above you (i've gotten so good at lying to myself)- orphan_account More prose poetry! forever cursed in love are the observant- orphan_account More sad prose poetry. Bill puts Ford in a time loop until Ford gives him the answer he wants.
*NSFT:*
CLEAR consent-
Ford is super duper into it in all of these! Warning, a LOT of these are pre-betrayal and therefore Ford is technically being duped into thinking Bill is his friend so the consent IS dodgy in that way. Enjoy!
I search myself, I want you to find me- dieslaudata, RF Bill is having some fun with Ford's body while Ford watches. Consensual possession.
Contrast- dieslaudata, RF Choking, in a sexy way rather than a dying/torture way. Love having to clarify that /hj. Consensual possession. Holding Onto Everything- sugarboat, AU, PB AU where Ford accepted Bill's deal many years ago and they are in an established relationship, of sorts. On One Condition- anysin, RF Voice kink, conditioning, coming untouched, etc
Calling You- anysin, RF Ford summons Bill in a more... Unconventional manner.
Up to the Neck- anysin, RF Jealous Bill. Short, but Bill's blustering always amuses me.
Everything Stays- sugarboat, RF "Only one of them sees the inevitable end approaching"- LOVE this caption. PWP, tentacle sex, praise kink.
First- Pengychan, RF Fluffy, awkward, cute!- "Full access to one’s mind comes with a few downsides, like stumbling on private fantasies the All Seeing Eye could have lived without ever having to see. Not that they’re not kind of flattering. And really, there’s a first time for everything."
Count to 100- kikaikitai, RF Ford summons Bill in a more... unconventional manner. Again. This is a running theme in Billford NSFT fics and I love it. Praise kink.
Incubus- kikaikitai, RF Sequel to Count to 100. Ford loses himself in his sexual relationship with Bill. Weird demon sex, consensual possession, worship, etc. This is a fun one. Obviously manipulative fuckery from Bill. Ford is DOWN BAD, though.
Restless Sleep- GoofyGoldenGirl, RF Massage, fluffy NSFT.
Trignometry- wubub redux, RF Alien biology, Bill helps a 'distracted' Ford concentrate. Ford wants to reciprocate.
Territorial- Pengychan, RF Mentions of sex. Bill saves Ford from a creature torturing Ford with cruel words, pretending to be Bill... Yes, the irony is painful.
Vibe for this section- Consensual! But more dubious/dark than the last section.
Ranges from 'Ford is capital M mad at Bill still but also DTF...' to 'hoo boy this is a little dark!' Read at your own risk, you've been warned. Check the tags!
Are you ready to drink or are you waiting to drown?- sugarboat, AU Body horror, tentacle sex High Esteem- anysin, RF Jealous Ford. No sex, just Bill being very manipulative, gaslighting Ford and telling him what he wants to hear.
Blood Offering- nelja, RF No sex, just a ritual involving self-harm and dark thoughts from Ford as he summons Bill after a long absence.
A change of scenery- nelja, RF No sex but there is burglary, tattooing, and suggestive themes.
Golden Nerd Doll- nelja, W No sex but- objectification, possessive behaviour, etc from Bill who lacks any sort of self-reflection abilities...
Ghosts of Love Past- nelja OK, WARNING, this one is kissing, if not straddling, the dubcon line. I'm popping it on the list because 'non-consensual bondage' is literally in canon. TLDR- Bill chains Ford (Weirdmageddon) and pets his hair. Ford has a visceral reaction to this which he hates/loves/hates.
I hope you enjoy the fics! I've been careful not to spoil them too much but do be careful- Billford is always a tricky one, as much as I love it.
-Berry
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himiko-yumehellno · 3 months
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Kodaka very obviously wants to make Danganronpa 4, but as many people have pointed out already, this would conflict with the ending of V3. I thought I would make things easier on our resident murder mystery writer who appears to really like making mascots that remind me of Whisper from Yo-Kai Watch, and come up with some solutions to this problem! Organized in approximate order of increasing silliness and grasping at straws, with some additional director's notes from ✨me✨!!
So, how can Kodaka make a new Danganronpa game that works with the ending of Danganronpa V3?:
Danganronpa isn't actually a killing game franchise loved around the world; Tsumugi either lied or was lied to herself (probably with the use of a Flashback Light to make her believe she was a willing ringleader). Allows for some interesting angst if it's the second option.
Despair made a sudden comeback and took over a good portion of the world. Tsumugi fudged some details, but it's true that a lot of the world now enjoys killing games, because normal life is just boring to them (a life without despair and death?! Ugh! Who'd want that, am I right?). We find out in a later installment that the survivors joined with other forces fighting against despair. Danganronpa 4 explores a separate killing game also put on in the name of this new global wave of despair.
Danganronpa 4 turns out to be a prequel (possibly featuring a killing game that the in-game franchise was inspired by, possibly just being one of the numerous previous installments Tsumugi threw out there in her exposition monologue, possibly some secret third option), and ends up with some ridiculous name so fans don't get confused on the sequence of events. Personally, I hope the name is Danganronpa Negative Four.
As so many postgame fics have taken to declaring, the entire game was a simulation. Except to make this work, it probably wouldn't be a simulation designed by Team Danganronpa – no, no, no! Perhaps this killing game was put on by Remnants of Despair or – *exaggerated gasp* – the Future Foundation themselves, hm?
Danganronpa V3 was a really fucked up social experiment and none of the "reality TV" backstory was real. No one knows how it got past the ethics committee, so don't ask.
It was all an alternate dimension/timeline. ... Look, if all it takes to brainwash someone into mass murder is forcing them to come to anime night, they can throw in a little time or dimension travel!
To piggyback on that last idea, the "reality TV" backstory was true; Danganronpa V3 and all the previous installments in this series were fiction... in the Rain Code universe. Or some other video game setting made by Kodaka. Nothing of the sort happened in the actual Danganronpa continuity, however.
Danganronpa V3 was Junko Enoshima's idea of heaven. Of course, it wouldn't have been complete without the despair of her ideal world being destroyed, hence the survivor trio shutting down her killing game show. Danganronpa 4, therefore, takes place in the living world, continuing off vaguely where the Danganronpa 3 anime left off. Notably, all questions about how Junko's heaven works and why she even got to go to heaven in the first place are not solved until a separate anime series, where we find out it was originally supposed to be her hell until she made the demon in charge of looking after her quit and give her full range of the place. It's never answered whether the participants of the killing game were other dead souls or just beings she created.
The entire thing was just the Monokuma Children playing with dolls. ... Or, knowing them, dead bodies.
Before V3 came out my brother had this whole theory that all of the characters were in a pseudo time loop where every time a killing game concluded, they'd just roll out a set of clones of everyone and start all over again, presumably killing off the survivors of the last game. I have no idea how this would solve Kodaka's issue but I want to see if they could find a way to make it work.
I'm excited to see what becomes of Kodaka's newest works, but apparently by his own admission he's interested in returning to Danganronpa at some point, so I thought I'd do the hard part for him. Feel free to take any of these ideas and run with them, Kodaka!
(feel free to add your own suggestions on how to make the ending of V3 work with a new Danganronpa game!)
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reductionisms · 4 months
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circle, line
A circle and a line look different, right?
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What about now?
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Time in gintama is a useless subject. Unfortunately, it is also a prerequisite to the gintama-human ontology. Thus, with a heavy heart, I look at lines, loops, and other unlikely time-mechanics in order to construct a gintama time for the gintama-human. 
Throughout this pseudoscientific inquiry, I locate gintama time– which I eventually call [time], for lack of better notation– in my thematic abuse of two mathematical concepts: irrationality and uncountable infinity. To give away the end, [time] is an uncountable infinity born in irrationality. Which, even to its own creator, makes little sense. 
Finally, this is my defense of the gintama time loop. Why? Well, I like loops and loop-like things, and, after all, we want good things to last, to repeat. So this turns out to be a love letter to algebraic topology. Sorry time loop fiction.
Onto more interesting things.
preliminary time notes
To think about time in gintama, I bracket [real world time] from [the narrative structure of gintama, which follows a time] and [time as characters in gintama experience it, i.e. personal time]. The latter two time-categories reflect [real world time] because gintama is written by an author, who, by virtue of existing, lives in [real world time]. That is, while narrative is fun because you can play with reality to make something new (e.g., time loop, time travel, non-chronological narratives in general), creation still requires building blocks, which are ultimately some sort of known assumption, that inevitably require some understanding of actual Time. 
All this to say I look at [narrative time] and [personal time] through philosophies about [real world time], which themselves are not especially real; in other words, my methodology is kind of shit. 
the situation– personal time
Otae announces the whole of gintama in chapter one.
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This is gintama’s genetic code. 
To speak of time here is to note a few things:
1. amanto possess advanced technology;
2. humans are forced to throw away their physical swords;
3. the sword of the soul. 
The sword is a tool*; later chapters tell us that it “carries the soul”. So the sword represents, or, rather, is, something irreplaceable to humanity, that relates to the soul and personhood. This much is corroborated by the plot cycle. 
With contrast to the sword, time appears impersonal. We conceive of time, at least scientifically, as the movement between past to present, present to future, stretching infinitely before and after, where our existence does not matter to its flow. 
But would “time” exist without anyone to observe it?
Alternatively, how can “time” be experienced as time– as a movement– without anything to measure it? 
The human must “create” “time”, if only because it would not be “time” without a person to observe and call it as such. What this person perceives, they conceptualize as movement (measurement); and thus there must be a prior position to reference, or, in the least, a default– a memory. 
So “time” requires the present to be given by a prior; that is, for “time” to be experienced, the human who observes it needs already given into a past. The past itself (“knowledge” of the histories that make us who we are, “knowledge” of the tools that allow us to intend various things)– i.e., its inherent “given-ness” to us– depends upon it outliving those who live it. Thus various contexts, with their technologies, arts, and writing (though these are not really separable), function also to contain the essential past-as-memory for those who use and engage with them. 
Alright, great, but what does this have to do with the dick-and-balls manga? Nothing, really, except for everything. The amanto (with futuristic technology, in futuristic contexts**) force humans to give up their swords. It would be ridiculous to talk about what the “sword” means here. Suffice to say that it carries (an assumed) cultural-historical weight, an (idealized) memory. We would expect that its dispossession disrupts temporality. And it does– hence the “time loop”.
People love to talk about cyclical time in gintama. It is the same situations, over and over again; that no one ages, injuries heal by the next chapter, and, more than serial-typical regressions, that there is a sense that things won’t work, that important change won’t last, that life “just gets worse and worse”. Time as lasting change– or what we like to call “linear time”– doesn’t feel like it exists.
To return to chapter one. Here the central conflict is not actually between amanto and human; it is between Shinpachi and Otae. Their dying father tells them that even if they give up their physical swords (memory, past), they are not to lose the sword in their soul (?unknown). Sword-less Shinpachi resents him. Rather than “cling to the past”, he tries to adapt to the “linear time” of the amanto: he works in modern food service, gives up on the dojo, and, most importantly, opposes Otae.  
What does Otae do? We might expect her to inverse Shinpachi, that is, to “embrace” cyclicality, which would be to give up. She doesn’t. Otae tries to adjust, to make a living and survive, but, unlike her brother, she does so also to protect the “thing she can never take back”. This, as Shinpachi points out, is ridiculous, unrealistic, and makes no sense. And yet it is Otae who is thematically vindicated in the end.
From the first chapter, then, we can construct a sense of [personal time (to the characters)]. Again, for change to exist, there must be a prior form; that is, a certain sort of time is what makes change (technological, political, situational advancement) possible. Further, the self is involved in the process of time. Thus when the self is not whole (lacks the sword), time, and thereby change, becomes cyclical. So “time”, to the amanto, advances, because they can work with their external “selves” (technology, worlds, knowledge-memory) to “make change”. But time, to humanity, loops back on itself, is stopped, because humanity is bereft of its self and can only return to the starting point. 
We notice that humans still live in a world where time progresses– where time goes on without them. There is a split between the time of the self and the time of the world. Shinpachi decides to do away with memory and join the world-time, the “linear time”, that is, the time of futuristic technology and change; but his sister, who goes along with this and drags the past with her, does much better. 
For a more thorough application of this thought, please rewatch the monkey hunter arc. 
*It is also (obviously) a dick. **This reveals some connection between the concepts of “tool”, “context”, and time. Though I say so inverse-facetiously, since nothing about gintama can be taken as if it were serious.
time loop– narrative time 
So what about infinity?
Personal time is not infinity. In a first sense, it simply is not infinite– characters die. In a second sense, even considering that memory can be (haphazardly) preserved beyond a lifetime, especially in a story, humanity as a whole is finite– there comes a point, eventually, where no one is left to do the remembering. And in a third sense, personal time is still a string of pasts that were once presents, into futures that will be presents; though this finite string might divide into an infinite number of presents, its divisibility renders it still essentially patterned, which is to say that it is not really “infinity”– it is still mathematically countable.
I mentioned a dysfunction of personal time into cyclical (“un-change-able”) personal time. This is associated with sword-less-ness, equivalently memory-loss, equivalently not being a whole self. The fun of stories is that “character” can be projected into the structure of the story itself; it would make sense for cyclical personal time to have some correspondence to, or at least effect on, narrative time, that is, narrative structure. 
At this point I should be more general about the time loop. 
The time loop is thought to stand opposed to “linear time” in the stagnation-change, lack-presence, circle(hole)-line([censored]) dichotomy. Specifically, the time loop is opposed to “linear time” in the sense that nothing (usually) changes in a time loop. Or, more exactly, change is slow, nothing gets “better” in any real sense. Again, only where time flows “linearly" can we build off of what is prior, can we intend and achieve a future, can we change for the better (or so we assume). Thus the time loop carries a sort of moral condemnation in its very structure— a karmic debt, if you will.
Characters in plots get thrown into time loops because something has gone wrong. Whether or not they are the direct cause, the character must “figure something out”, “learn a lesson”, that is, address the problem that created the time loop, which will almost always be related to a step within the story of their self-development, in order to escape it. The point of the story is to escape it. This is just how stories go.
Then the gintama narrative “time loop” is barely a time loop. It repeats itself, sure, and no one ages, but that’s because no one should age in a wsj serial and sorachi tried to be funny about it. Still, some lingering sense of futility, or maybe just the sheer repetition of the same event for 16 years of serialization, weighs on anyone who reads it. This kind of feels like time loop fiction; there should be a point to the plot cycles. What are they trying to force Gintoki to do, to show us in his character? What are they aiming for, what is driving the “time loop” in the first place?
Takasugi is driving the time loop. 
(More specifically, Takasugi’s crushed eye-ball (soul), his eyelid; inaccessible past (memory), is driving the time loop.)
Another clarification. Personal time is time as experienced by the person; it is pure interiority. Thus, while the world moves on– personal time is time as movement– the person may not. 
For the person to move on, they must be able to make change, that is, from a prior form, give birth to the next form. This is because only the person can observe, know, and experience “time”, which itself is a movement (a change in position) from past to present, present to future, that is defined by the person. So change and time-as-movement, within personal time, look synonymous.
Further, movement in personal time requires the given past– the memory, from before me, passed down to me by people and places and things and contexts that I outlive– to be held by me, to be part of the “I”, and thus for my bodily self and my non-embodied self to generate personal time together. In gintama, I locate “memory” as the sword. But gintama’s sword is also part of the Self; so personal time in which the Self can move is only born out of a whole self. Equivalently, personal time is not the Self, but it is intimately related to a change that can only be wrought by the Self, which is to say, both my body and my given memory are necessary to the movement of personal time. 
In any case, “gin-tama” is about Gin-toki, and, quite literally, his soul, so we would suspect that narrative time is a projection of Gintoki’s personal time. But narrative time cycles weirdly, and Gintoki still has his sword. Alternatively: if Gintoki was not already a Self, that is, if he had to learn some lesson to become a Self through the time loop, how could he have saved any of the endless roster of villains that conveyor-belts around him? So maybe Gintoki holds his sword without remembering– except that he doesn’t, and the story makes this clear (“I haven’t lost a single thing”). He does, however, seem to possess a slightly different personal time. He and his sword remind antagonists of what they’ve forgotten, and these antagonists sometimes move forward with him into the next cycle. In other words, there is some sort of movement, a change, in the narrative, in the structure, associated with each loop. 
But cycles stay cycles, up to a very particular moment.
At which point I revert to the most obvious advantage of narrative time: it interacts with the readers. Gintoki “is” a Self (in the sense that an electron is both a wave and a particle), who carries his sword, who remembers, who hasn’t lost a single thing. Yet the time around him repeats the same events, over and over again. Why? Well, in part for the above: every gintama villain needs to learn the same lesson. But every gintama villain is also Gintoki, and even if he remembers, we don’t. To risk being redundant, we, as readers, have no idea what actually happened to him until chapter 519, when it is fished (unwillingly, I think) out of Takasugi’s eyelid. 
Then narrative time functions in several senses. It relates to Gintoki’s personal time, but indirectly; more generally it looks like a projection of the Losers’ personal times, where a Loser is one who has lost their sword. Still every Loser is also Gintoki, and every lost sword is lost memory, and even if Gintoki hasn’t forgotten anything– and even if Gintoki carries his past, his sword, with him– we, the readers, don’t. Surely enough, historical time in gintama only begins after chapter 519. The revelation must precede it. 
So the gintama time loop is driven forward by whatever it takes for this memory to be revealed. Each iteration brings us closer, but there is no lesson for Gintoki to learn that would speed this up; the heart of it is that he is waiting, he has to wait, for memory to return, for his past to come back to him, and this past is exactly Takasugi. 
Why? Takasugi is the past (his eye, his eyelid, is the past); his eye is therefore Gintoki’s sword, the sword of the soul we need for time to move on. But 10 years jump before Takasugi can make the approach, and even then only from behind. Worse, it takes hundreds more chapters for him to work up the resolve to face Gintoki head on. So if Gintoki somehow constrains the world to cyclical time, equally so does Takasugi. 
In short, narrative time cannot move until Takasugi’s eye becomes Gintoki’s sword. Thus half of the loop is about Gintoki always standing up again, always waiting for Takasugi to face him, and the other half of the loop, that is, its motivation, is about Takasugi working up the guts, or whatever he does throughout the series, to finally come at Gintoki* face to face. Yes, I’m equating circles and lines, which is silly. But I did this in the beginning anyways. Rewatch the final.
So why does this matter? Readers well-versed in gintama sword theo-ontology may recognize that the sword which is memory is identical to the sword of the human. This is partly because I’ve defined personal time to require the whole Self (the human) to move, which itself requires both the sword-as-memory and its human wielder. It is also because I’ve equated Takasugi to memory instead of treating him like a character (sorry Takasugi). Nevertheless, creation of the human sword (the memory-sword) is now essential to creating time, and creating time is now equivalent to completing the Self, that is, to becoming “human”. Put another way, Shouyou isn’t killed until Gintoki kills him in 519. 
More specifically, Gintoki killing Shouyou undoubtedly completes (undoes) his humanity**. It is also the only way for anyone in gintama to have a future, because it creates, gives birth, to time, the time of the series. Further, its revelation births time in the present just as its actuality births time in the past: the Gintoki who swings his human sword, who cries, in Takasugi’s eye, is the one who swings it at him now. Gintama doesn’t actually timeskip until Gintoki kills Utsuro in silver soul.  
Then the movement of time, both personal and narrative, requires three things:
1. a memory-sword (the human sword) (the sword of the soul);
2. a human to wield it;
3. and a decision on how to swing
I have discussed one and two to exhaustion. Now we turn to three.
*Gintoki is always Takasugi, in every case. The inverse holds as well. **It also completes Shouyou’s, but that is for later.
in defense of the time loop
Birthing time looks like an escape from the time loop. 
This is where the division between time, self, and change becomes essential. Why does the time loop, in many treatments, depress its readers? For the same reason that any tragedy is depressing: fate, un-change-ability, specifically, un-change-ability of things we want to change. 
The time loop is a “literalization” of tragedy. The person trapped in the time loop, at best, loses the ability to determine their future, accomplish their projects, do what they want and have it last, that is, to find lasting (exterior) meaning (this is all exterior). At worst, this person carries their incapacity into a loop that is the same tragedy, over and over again, which they are helpless to prevent or change in any way.
This setup is not exclusive to the time loop– other variations could be immortality, reincarnation, oracles, endless linear eternity, et cetera. In every instance, though, the tragedy is that people cannot change the things that matter. And while the time loop usually removes external change to provoke internal change in its protagonist, gintama characters also struggle with the impossibility of changing themselves.
More generally, though, real time isn’t actually cyclical or linear. We move through time, changing form, towards our death– and so the common thought of time is “linear time”, which is really about “linear change” and an inability to “go back”. But time is only known to us, only countable, because of its cyclicality. There are 60 seconds to a minute; 60 minutes to an hour; 24 hours to the day; and then this repeats the next minute, the next hour, the next day; and then the next month, and then the next season, and then the next year; and then it repeats all over again. Time is only measurable, knowable, existent to us because it repeats. If it wasn’t known beforehand, how could we measure the present, the future, against it? And for it to be knowable, it has to be familiar; and for it to be familiar, we must have encountered it before; and here is the inherent repetition– we can’t stop the cyclicality or flow of time anymore than we can avoid our deaths. Real time makes possible our “change” just as it is unchangeable, just as its existence is conditioned on unchangeability.
Gintama is a story, and story time works differently than real time, so maybe in the story we can separate “linear time” (change-ability) from “cyclical time”, from “time loop” (un-change-ability). Even still, what happens after you escape a time loop? Equivalently, what happens after you escape the tragedy? In the usual time loop– at least the usual time loop in our minds– the loop is escaped into linear time, or, more appropriately, it is escaped into the time where linear change is possible. But why is “linear time” the happy ending? Even granted that it exists (which is questionable), what makes linearity better than repetition, that is, why do people love “linear change”?
The Joui 4 lived “linear time” during the war. They fought enemies, and won. They progressed towards something, and believed in it, too; they were the main characters of a power-scaling, battle-shounen manga. And yet, their linear time ended, or more accurately, was never “linear”. Shouyou’s death, if anything, only proved the inherent impossibility of their shounen dreams. So narrative time twists into defeatist cycles, and Takasugi is doomed forever to repeat, and this is probably more accurate to the condition of the actual world they inhabit, because, most importantly, time was always like this, linear change as linear time never existed. 
But again, the tragedy was never about the time loop. From its inception, the tragedy has always been about intentionality versus ruination, “I” as capable actor versus “I” as acted upon, and the utter inability of anyone to change any of this. We want out of the time loop because we can’t do anything; we want out because we can’t act out of ourselves to make external change in any way that lasts. Ultimately, we want out of the time loop because we discover that our intentionality actually means jackshit. The world does what I don’t want it to, and traps me in this; I cannot act, and yet it acts on me. My despair at the exterior world which rivets me to itself quickly translates to despair in, at, my self. I can’t make change, so what does being [x person] matter, so this is my fault, so there’s no point in changing myself, so I can’t change myself in any way that matters, because even if I do everything right, there’s no meaningful effect on the world that holds me captive, et cetera. Thus everyone wants out of the tragedy, the time loop.
Including gintama villains, who usually try to get out of it by killing themselves. This never works. 
The time loop is tragic because it makes its inhabitants absolutely passive to it and acts on them eternally. The gintama cast is supposedly full of “losers”; its villain of the week, while beating Gintoki, calls him a masterless dog, a ghost, the one who lost, along with the rest of the samurai, et cetera; and the loser here is inherently passive against a winning actor. Nevermind that Gintoki never fought for the Romantic Japan that lost to the amanto– his loss is even more infinite for the narrowness of its scope. 
And yet, you’re not supposed to kill yourself.
Escaping the time loop– or, more generally, the tragedy– never guarantees linear time, because we always have to end the book on the happily ever after. So what really happens after you escape the time loop– is linear time actually a relief? Either things start going wrong, which isn’t the linear time ideal, or you achieve every dream, you make possible every impossibility, and come to the end of the infinite series by continuing on within it infinitely. Is that really “happy”? 
Alternatively: the cycles of narrative time drive towards the birth of a new time. But the tragedy of the cycles is intentionality/ruination, and the cycles can’t be escaped into their “opposite”. Gintoki, a human, with a human sword, kills Shouyou, and thereby brought forth a new time. And yet, this new time was still cyclical. 
Then what’s the solution– killing yourself? Takasugi, repetition Personified, asks this to Gintoki the entire series. Why won’t you stay down?, [Why are you crying?], [Why can’t I comfort you?], Why keep living in this world? Villainy aside, he does have a point– if you look carefully, living in the gintama world is incredibly, incredibly stupid. 
Gintoki says: no matter how many times I fall, no matter how many times I fight the same fight over and over again, no matter if it never ends, I will always stand up.
This is the height of stupidity. 
[time]
So narrative cycles aim at the revelation of Gintoki’s memory, which would identify sword with eye, tool with wielder, that is, complete the “human”, and thereby give birth to a new (non-linear) time. 
Here we get to mathematical infinity. 
Mathematical infinity is not a number, or even properly a concept. It’s more like a sign at the edge of a cliff that says, there’s a cliff here, here’s the end of the world– except that this sign also signifies whatever, and everything, that might lie beyond the cliff, which cannot really be called “essence”, or even be said to exist in the first place. In other words, infinity is a marker for a point of no return, that in of itself is nothing.
Some things are said to be “infinite”. Usually, these are patterns. A line is infinite, as is a parabola; but these infinities are predictable, that is, countable, because patterns are rules. Their comprehensibility allows us to treat them like fancy numbers. 
Conversely, some functions decompose into situations that are entirely ungraspable. This edge of knowledge, where it devolves into paradox and nonsense, looks like uncountable infinity. 
Uncountable infinity is the infinity whose name itself means nothing. It signifies to something that is, by axiom, impossible impossibility, ungraspable. When infinity “interacts” with the mathematical world– or, rather, when we push far enough to reach it– we come to paradox, chaos, and unintelligibility. Certainly, science could advance sufficiently to reconcile the mysteries of particle physics; but the fun of mathematical concepts is that you can define them in any way you like, even if they’re fake. And uncountable infinity is, by my definition, the “thing” that is always uncountable. 
So gintama narrative cycles aim at something, while those in cyclical personal times suffer for them. Cycles, better, change-less-ness, correspond to sword-less-ness, to lack of memory, and historical time only “restarts” when Takasugi brings us the past. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. 
This doesn’t mean our new time won’t be cyclical.
In the end, “time” is associated with sense of Self. This is an unavoidable relation, because time is a human word, in a human language, that describes what is ultimately only known to us as human experience. But “Self” is (itself) a problematic concept. After all, what determines one’s Self? Relatedly, who, and/or what, and/or where, and/or why, gets to possess Selves at all?
Within concepts of Self is often embedded an instinct towards differentiation. The (western philosophical) impulse is to originate this difference in agency: that is, through my free determination of my Will, my Projects, my Actions, and et cetera, I differentiate “I” from “other” and thereby constitute Me. Needless to say, concepts of “agency” are inextricably linked to “change”. Thus, in this particular conception, “time” is bound to “Self”, is bound to “agency”, is bound to “change”, and to invoke any one is to invoke the other three. 
Here, “knowing” (as agency) finds itself imperiled. That is, though the “unknowable” would strip agents of acting-ability, “knowing” would also consign existence, life, the universe, et cetera, to determinism. In both cases, “(un)-knowledge” renders the agent passive. Thus someone might long for an unknowable magic in order to undo determinism, just as they might long for the knowledge to successfully determine their life; yet the one who longs for agency could find agency a disappointment, a not-agency. Equally, if the time loop embodies both desires before they collapse into paradox (I can continue into the unknown future if I escape; something is tying me down, my knowledge is insufficient to escape), “linear time” does so as well. 
But now we return to infinity, to irrationality, to uncountability, in short, to paradox. The bulk of the previous 5000 words has been to determine that the dichotomy is false. To be straight, knowing and not knowing, agent and non-agent, the linear and the cyclical, are not separable from each other. Their binary is an illusion, and the suggestion of one carries within it the absence of the other; they are synonymous at the exact and every moment they are not. Clearly, this is not not-knowing, and not knowing, and not not-either of them at the same time. I call this uncountable infinity, the mathematically irrational. 
The mathematically irrational is paradox. Consider: we can graph, and look at, certain functions, and yet never grasp their value (put x(sin(1/x)) into desmos). Similarly, we know exactly what “pi” is– the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter– and we can define it, use it, find it in every instance. And yet, pi is an irrational number, because its decimals trail off into uncountable infinity. Knowing and not-knowing, united in the same action: irrationality is knowing in not-knowing, not-knowing in knowing, and also neither. 
I will be ridiculous and find this paradox in gintama. I want to claim, in the first place, that the self never generated time at all; in the second, that this is never irreducible to agent/acted, knowing/unknown; and in the third, that time is generated by [time]. To do so, we must investigate the moment of its birth, in 519.
the cliff—519
Tools, given memory, etc., together with the persons who hold them, produce an actor-self, a time of possible change (a “linear” time). It is in 519 that Takasugi finally faces the camera.  
Now Gintoki grasps the sword (memory, Takasugi). This should give us “linear” time. 
But 519 is not so willing. Where we hope for capable agency, we find none. Instead linear/cyclical, active/passive, presence/distance, collapse into irrationality.
Take the archetypical moment. To Takasugi’s why, Gintoki says he’ll stand up. Specifically, he says, too bad– I (you) won’t fall. 
Standing up is what Gintoki (a person, with a sword) does. It is how he defeats each suicidal villain, kills Shouyou, and kills Shouyou and Takasugi all over again. This is what the “time loop” would require of him. 
Gintama antagonists, those paragons of rationality, tell us that it is irrational. 
Otae is also irrational. Her irrationality doesn’t fix anything (⇔escape cyclical time, make change), and she knows so herself– “If I’ll suffer either way, I’d rather suffer protecting it.” 518 chapters later, Gintoki says: “I won’t fall until you [Takasugi] fall, until you stop, no matter how many times it takes, I’ll stand up again… even if I have to walk over my teacher’s corpse, even if I have to walk over your corpse, I’ll protect his disciple, our companion, Shoka Sonjuku’s Takasugi Shinsuke, his soul.” 
So Gintoki stand(ing)s up until something– until Takasugi stops, until time is born– in order to protect Takasugi’s soul. This might look like an “end” to the cycle, but it doesn’t feel like one. “Even if I have to walk over your corpse”? 
Alternatively, “saving” Takasugi should be the change that the cycles want to make, that would break them in any normal work of time loop fiction. It is “agency” (capable action, material change) at its purest. But Gintoki says he will stand up and kill Takasugi and stand up again. No matter how many times the same thing repeats, no matter if time never moves on, no matter if he is forced to kill the very person he’s trying to protect, Gintoki will stand up. How could Gintoki possibly care about escaping any cycle, when he is the one “perpetuating it”?
So gintama is not actually about escaping the time loop, which is the rational thing to do. Gintama is about, do you have the strength to keep living in the time loop, even if it never ends?, or, do you have the strength to kill your teacher and your friend, and lose everything all over again?, or, do you have the strength to eternally suffer for the thing that can never be taken back? In short: forget the capable actor– gintama is about being foolish, and irrational, and embracing the time loop by standing up. 
If we look to chapter one, [standing up] is [protecting the thing that can’t be taken back]. Neither can be appropriately confined to cyclical or linear time. Otae says she’ll suffer either way, and Gintoki says he stands up to protect what Shouyou held precious, Takasugi’s soul. 
Otae protects a thing that cannot be taken back. This is the past. Gintoki acts for– and this is also a protecting– the past. Takasugi is, in a literal sense, pierced by this past every moment of his life. 
The past that we can recover, that we can fully integrate into ourselves, is the past that can be used to generate the future in “time”. Thus “accepting” the past “to move on” – accepting, making entirely part of oneself, making entirely interior – because only then can the past become knowable, comprehensible, and usable. The person must accept their past to change things, i.e., to make linear time. Time, change, and agency coincide.
Yet Otae’s past “cannot be taken back”. Certainly, even the accepted past cannot be “returned” to. But Otae’s past is the past that pierces Takasugi’s eye– that is, the past whose “revelation”, whose self-same existence, drives the completion/generation of gintama time itself.
So this is the past that “cannot be taken back”, in more than the literal sense. Takasugi is scandalized by its distance, even as he dies satisfied; Gintoki, ever-silent, still loses his composure at its provocation, is emptied by it, cries in 519 (in all of gintama), in 703. It is a past that refuses total use or incorporation; instead it acts on those who carry it, even after person is reconciled to sword (to its memory).  
Its paradox in position. Though “the past” is always present (“I haven’t lost anything”, “how long will you keep looking at that crushed eye of yours”), it is simultaneously kept from us by an irreparable distance. Distance, of course, suggests space, which itself suggests a space that is surpassable. But this distance is not spatial– it is temporal. Gintoki carries the past, yet never reveals it to anyone, much less to us; in the end it is Takasugi who has to do the revealing, and even then only after 500 chapters. Further, its revelation actually increases the distance. We grow used to our proximity to Gintoki’s “point of view”, to our role, through him, as protagonist of the story; and here his defining moment is told not through his eyes, but through the eyes of the distant antagonist, whose breaking point is the discovery of the distance between him and Gintoki. Gintoki is reflected– more, revealed to have always been– across a distance that is unsurpassable. 
This distance is equally time, because Takasugi and Gintoki were separated always, and only, by “the 10 years”. Takasugi comes to Edo– there is nothing stopping him, spatially, no physical restriction or meaningful law imposed, from making the approach– and yet he cannot make it. Or so we assume. We only know its universal separation axiom: 10 years, a distance between two points that could never be overcome or recuperated. 
So the past is across an unsurpassable distance. In this sense, it cannot be taken back. It is simultaneously carried in, pierces, Takasugi’s eye, who struggles because he cannot reconcile it to himself. Just as it is always with him– “every time I look, the beast…”– it is also the one thing he cannot bear to see (your crying face). Though its revelation is necessary to New time, it is also what sent time into irregularity in the first place. And though it is irreparably distant, it pierces every moment of the present, which is to say: it degrades time, it makes things weird.
Its paradox in times. The cliff is pre-originary to everything by narrative position. Gintama narrative cycles press towards its revelation as first dilemma. It is before even the corpse field, before anything else. It drives each time Gintoki swings his sword and reenacts it. The very first moment that Shouyou finds Gintoki, is predated, predicated upon, generated, made possible by, the fact that Gintoki kills him with his sword. 
From this past, Gintoki is (in the verb sense). It is ahead of him (in 519) and behind him (before 1). For its sake he “acts” towards a “change” (stands up) that he knows is impossible (“if I have to walk over even your corpse”*). In other words, for sake of this past, Gintoki lives as if he belongs to a “linear” time, even as he knows he doesn’t. The past brings forth itself again.
Finally, its paradox in agency. What is burned onto Takasugi’s eyelid is a single moment he cannot recover or recuperate. Instead, this moment acts on him, it pierces him, against his will. This sort of past is not an empty concept, that could be filled with any given circumstance. Takasugi is tortured because the content matters– because what happens on the cliff that day, matters.
The cliff is not what Takasugi, Gintoki, Shouyou, or anyone else, wanted. Worse, it is not what they fought for: Takasugi to save Shouyou, Gintoki to protect Shouyou’s disciples (in an act that he knows will destroy them), Shouyou to protect his children. Instead Takasugi is stripped of agency, and the eye that would acquire it; in the present he acts on everything because he is, in every moment, acted on. Equally, just as Shouyou tries to protect his students, he destroys them, and Gintoki, who is forced (acted on) to choose (acts on) between two wrongs, two denials of his self** (of linearity), that is, two losses, is the classic agent paradox most of all.  
So the past cannot be taken back, and this not only in the sense that no one can return to it. The past cannot be taken back as a memory, nor can it be incorporated as part of the self, nor can it function as the essential memory that projects forward normal time, even as it is known at every single moment. It cannot be domesticated. 
Gintoki killing Shouyou, and crying, is unacceptable. It is distance itself, just as it is proximity; it is simultaneously known (Takasugi sees it), unknown (no one can reconcile it), and neither (we still move on). It should not have happened. It is irrationality itself. 
And yet, by virtue of being “a past”, in its relation to the present, in its position as driving force of the time of the entire series, it still is time. The human, with the human sword, who cuts off someone’s head, is [time] itself.
Clearly, this is something outside of normal time. The question becomes, who needs to be killed, and where, and why?
The one who gives birth to a future.
*–and he does. 
**“No need. They’ll never hold a sword again.”
the future
That Gintoki kills Shouyou is essential. 
The start of gintama’s “historical timeline” is the corpse field. Here the time that Gintoki sits in carries a heavy sense of eternity. The moment where Shouyou finds him could be forever; historical time is out of place. 
What breaks this time is very particular. It is not that person and sword = human = time in the automatic sense, because Gintoki, who holds a successful sword (“before meeting you, I never lost to an adult”), remains inhuman. Rather, Shouyou, a human (to Gintoki), must give his sword to Gintoki for time to start. This is also what makes Gintoki human. Gintoki, the human, had to be given his humanity– and thereby time– by someone else. 
Equivalently, it is not enough for gintama’s [being human] that the right person holds the right sword. Only a human can progress time, that is, give birth to the future, but reconciling self to past, sword to eye, escaping the time loop, is insufficient. That Shouyou finds Gintoki is predicated by the cliff; sword can only become eye through the cliff’s revelation (and the cliff happens concurrently); self and past are reconciled only after Gintoki kills Takasugi; and the Shimura dojo is restored only once the Shimura siblings kill their mentor. It isn’t enough just to hold the sword– you have to actually swing it. 
This swing must be something irrational, because everything else is just the natural extension of a person with a sword (it is the person and the sword). Further, the person must make the swing themselves. For it to be a swing they make, they need to choose it. So the swing is a decision made in irrationality. 
Swinging a sword at– beheading someone— who is clearly the irrational choice. What goes against the logic of the world, of time, of all the meaning you sought after? Gintoki fought to protect Shouyou’s disciples; but Takasugi tells us that he wanted to save Shouyou more than anyone. Narrative logic says that Shouyou’s disciples should die to save him, and the logic of their linear time– their humanities and their swords– is to rescue Shouyou and progress into the future. Gintoki swings against everything. And cries.
Gintoki stands up, is irrational, for the past that can never be taken back. This past completes his humanity (person, sword, swing) in the moment that it ruins it (he cries). Gintoki kills the one before him(先生) to make them the one behind (into the past); which itself is a loop, is a cycle, but also a line. It is a [being human] that gives birth to an irrational time. 
Gintoki kills Shouyou even though it changes nothing. How does this birth time? “Time” comes out of a self, but Gintoki loses his self; “time” is what renders change possible, but Gintoki cannot “save” Shouyou or Takasugi. Certainly Gintoki knows this, and kills Shouyou in spite of it. But how does this bring forth a future at all?
Gintoki does kill Shouyou for something, for some reason, and this is concretely the survival (into the future) of Shouyou’s disciples. Abstractly, though the purpose is less clear– “even if I have to walk over your corpse” – it is still what drives (is the purpose of) every instance that Gintoki, or anyone, stands up. 
Gintoki’s purpose is Shouyou’s purpose, and Shouyou dies to give birth to the “future” (a future that is born in irrationality). So when Utsuro comes to kill him, Shouyou sees also Gintoki, and smiles. Sakamoto calls this “hope”.
We are told that Shouyou gives birth to hope– his students– almost as if to invoke the analogy. Shouyou’s disciples– his “children” – are him, because he gave birth to them, and they are not him, because they have a futurity beyond his imagination. Equally, this future is knowable, because the child is you, and time repeats, just as it is not, because the child is not you, and you will not be there to see it. This is the substance of “hope”.
With regards to the structure of his world, his time, and perhaps even his own humanity, Gintoki makes the irrational choice: he stands up. But to stand up is actually for, to give birth to, the uncountable future. Sakamoto tells us that Gintoki “gives birth” to this future in every shounen-bond he ever makes. And here is the paradox, something more generative than irrational dilemma– Gintoki’s “descendants” inherit his soul to be in ways unimaginable to him. 
This future pierces every moment, and in the same moment it escapes. Take that Shouyou knows, and cannot know, what his disciples will be. Their possibility is imaginable, in the sense that he can delineate it– “I hope you all find your own bushidous” – but it is also uncountably infinite, because your child is not you and not beholden to your patterns. Equivalently, Otae’s happy memories end when her father dies, but she still keeps the sword of her soul, this unspeakable thing, that past, and it is her purpose in standing up. 
Gintoki, with the sword he has been given by a human, kills Shouyou. This gives birth to an uncountable future– uncountable because it is born in irrationality, beyond the possibilities and expectations of pattern, either linear or cyclic– that is an uncountable infinity, and this is [time].  [time] drives, again, pierces, every second of all of time, and in the same moment it escapes. It is also irreparably beyond the one who births it. This is why gintama had to end. 
So the human is constituted in the moment of death (⇔the moment of irrational swing), which is to release the future— [time]. In the same moment, humanity, and [time], escapes. But the moment of constitution (⇔ [time]) is what births the next instance of being human, that is, the rest of time. 
In the moment before Gintoki’s irrational swing, each [time] was truly infinite. Here possibility is as unthinkable as Gintoki’s heart; there is no better way I can describe this than an uncountable infinity. Gintoki did what he should have (not) (not) have done. Neither he, nor Shouyou, nor Takasugi, Katsura, Oboro, or anyone, could have imagined any possibility for the future that was to come. In its sheer impossibility, this was infinity: the past that cannot be taken back. 
But the past that cannot be taken back is also the sword of the soul. By definition, this generates an impossible impossibility, that slips away as soon as it is born; and as the uncountable, that is, the mother of all irrationality, and also its child, [time] has little to say about lines or circles, aside from that they are essentially the same. So gintama never cared about time loops or not: all that matters is if you follow [time] by standing up. 
When Gintoki recovers his sword (Takasugi’s eye, Takasugi), he does so amidst a wreckage that looks like pine trees, as Takasugi (the one who finally stood before him, who now will stand behind) dies in his arms. Here, we find that the “cycle” repeats: Gintoki stands up, and the sun rises.
This is the dawn of a new, impossible day.
I don’t think that’s so bad. 
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snowbellewells · 3 months
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Self Promo Sunday: "Sky's Canvas"
This little future Swan-Jones-Mills family fic envisioning them during their happy beginning post-s6 would probably have been well suited to Father's Day last week, but I didn't think of it until too late. I hope it will still be enjoyable this week too. It's a part of my one shot collection on AO3 or ff.net (if you'd prefer to read it either of those places instead) I hope you have fun picturing this alternate idea of what might have happened - and I'd love to hear what you think!
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Notes: I toyed with the idea for this one for quite some time. The prompt elements that I have used are: a museum, the phrase “it was just a joke”, and also some small art facts – mostly about the particular museum itself (which is real). I have also put in a CS daughter (my personal head canon imagined one, Morgan Ruth Jones, whom I have written about before), and a college aged Henry. So, this is set somewhere in an alternative post-season 6 reality, where Henry stays in the Land Without Magic to seek his story, and also to be close enough to visit his family often, and for them to return the favor…)
by: @snowbellewells
The bubbly, nonstop chatter of her four-year-old little girl, which has cheerfully been filling Emma Swan’s ears for the past hour and a half, suddenly stills, immediately grabbing her attention and setting off an interior maternal alarm. She turns to seek out Morgan Ruth Jones – her little pirate princess – wondering if her daughter has yet again managed to sneak away from them and find herself in some sort of trouble.
Luckily, Emma doesn’t have to look far before she hears a chortling trill of baby laughter and locates her toddler with the disheveled head of dark, ringlet curls and twinkling, mischievous eyes – an aquamarine mix of her own green gaze and her father’s ocean blue – standing before a huge oil painting of a Spanish galleon rocking precariously on the stormy main and looking up at her father with fixed adoration. “Really, Papa?” Emma hears Morgan chirp, practically bouncing on the balls of her little feet as she tugs anxiously at his hook in eagerness to hear his answer. “Was it a storm that big you sailed ‘Roger’ through when you went to save Henwy in Neverland?!”
Emma is just chuckling wryly at the changes which have transpired in her life to give her a little girl more interested in daring adventures, ancient naval ships, and sword fighting than frilly dresses or dolls and makeup, even as her husband raises his eyes just enough to smirk at her knowingly over Morgan’s head, when another voice, youthful, warm, and settling into its masculine, adult timbre, answers Morgan’s question from over her shoulder, announcing Henry’s arrival to join them. “It was bigger, Pipsqueak,” he confirms jovially, pausing briefly to wrap a wiry arm around his mom in a quick side-hug before continuing to the side of his younger half-sister, kneeling to her level and adding with a gleam in his eye, “A mermaid summoned it to drown them all.”
“Hen-wy!!” Morgan squeals with glee; the painting, and even her papa’s beloved ship, forgotten as she flings herself into her brother’s arms with enough force to nearly bowl him over, causing Henry to chuckle as he catches her close to his chest.
“Hey Munchkin,” he greets affectionately, standing to his full height again – now even with his stepdad’s – still holding Morgan, her arms wrapped around his neck so tightly that Emma has to wonder if she’s ever going to let go. Turning to include his mom and his surrogate father in his next statement, Henry adds. “It’s great to see you all. Things must be quiet in Storybrooke, if you’re still going to stay all weekend.”
Here he arcs an eyebrow in curious bemusement, a trait Emma realizes all too well that he has picked up from her dashing scoundrel of a husband and probably uses to equally charming effect on all the girls he meets in his freshman courses at Bowdoin College. It is clear he has settled easily into the small arts school in Brunswick, Maine, just under a two hours’ drive from them, and that the campus atmosphere and freeing anonymity and normalcy he has there must be agreeing with him. Emma wants to snort in disbelieving laughter at his jest, though well aware that he knows better than to ever think his hometown would go completely, boringly normal. Instead, she shakes her head resignedly, merely giving her grown son a playfully long-suffering sigh. “You know how it is,” she shrugs, “never a dull moment. But – if you don’t count the dwarves coming to blows at Granny’s the other morning because Tom Clark accidentally sat in Leroy’s spot at the counter and got his flu germs on Leroy’s plate of bacon and eggs…”
“Which I do count,” Killian interrupts smoothly, winking at his adopted son. “I am the one who risked infection from the virus in forestalling their skirmish.”
Emma rolls her eyes at her deputy husband’s interruption and mutters “drama queen” under her breath, which Henry and Morgan both clearly hear and snicker at before she continues, “Otherwise it’s been as quiet as it ever gets. No deathly dangerous villains or curses meant to tear us apart and wipe our memories blank.”
“Yet…” Killian adds on needlessly, an ominous tone in his voice acknowledging the fact that they all know it’s only a matter of time before some new threat is wreaking havoc again. Their sleepy little town might seem like a place lost in time and space, but it is still a veritable magnet for trouble, and none of them can deny it.
Killian, however, waggles his brows playfully after his foreboding aside, making Henry shake his own head at his stepfather. It had seemed a rather grim pronouncement for the reformed pirate – more like his mom, really.
Morgan grins widely back at her father, nodding in gleeful agreement, her gap-toothed smile showing where she has lost a fair few of her baby teeth recently. “Yeah…yet!” she exclaims, not fully understanding the concern behind the sentiment, but always ready – as is her entire extended family – for action and excitement.
Emma shakes her head in humored exasperation at her two “children” – wondering, as she often does, how someone who has seen and experienced as much as Killian, who has witnessed some of the worst humanity had to offer and suffered at their hands, who has lived so long and weathered such crushing heartbreak and hate, can still easily find such simple, child-like joy in the littlest things. “Really, guys?” she questions, looking to her college student son for more mature support. “Can’t we just enjoy things being normal for once?”
“Aye, of course, my Love,” Killian replies deftly. “ ‘Twas merely a joke,” he adds, leaning over to brush a quick kiss to her brow that makes Morgan giggle, hide her face in Henry’s shoulder, and cry out, “Eww, they’re kissing again!” in a frank, tickling whisper against her older sibling’s skin.
“Just a joke is right,” Henry declares, motioning them forward to venture on into the rest of the Bowdoin College Museum and toward the particular exhibit he wants them to see. The collection was an 1811 bequest from a wealthy benefactor to the school and was one of the earliest college art collections in the country, as Henry had enthusiastically told her over the phone some weeks ago when his project had commenced. His Maritime History class had done a cross-curriculum partnership with the arts department to put together a student exhibit of research and mixed media in the college’s museum, and Henry has been quite secretive about his entry, even if insistent that they needed to see it in person. “Like anyone could be around you lot for long and think you were normal!” he scoffs.
“Ha ha,” his mother laughs drolly, bumping into his side with her shoulder in playful retribution as they move ahead side-by-side, with Killian, who is now holding a wriggling Morgan once again, following closely behind. However, once the jostling ceases, Emma grasps her nearly-grown son’s hand in hers for a moment, stunned anew at how much he has changed from the little boy who had found her in Boston all those years ago, and led her into the very life she has now. Squeezing tightly with emotion welling up in her throat, she wishes he could truly understand how much she loves him.
“Missed you too, Mom,” Henry murmurs softly, pressing her fingers back with his own wrapped around them. It is more than enough and makes her heart flutter in gladness.
Once Henry leads them through a few different rooms and several intriguing displays, he slows when they reach a large, somewhat circular room with a high, arched ceiling, and then turns to them with a mysterious smile on his face and clear anticipation in his big, brown eyes, just as they have always held, even at ten years old.
At first glance, this particular exhibit, this room in itself, seems empty. Looking around with faces equally full of curiosity and confusion, Killian, Emma, and Morgan end up staring back at Henry expectantly until Killian finally speaks up, “Begging your pardon, Lad, but I’m afraid I am not quite certain what you wish for us to see.”
Henry gives a nod of acknowledgement, rather knowingly pleased, and making Emma smirk to herself with a mother’s satisfaction at seeing her son so confidently happy and in his element. ‘He’s definitely got something up his sleeve,’ she thinks affectionately, admittedly finding herself anxious to see what his surprise might be. She knows that Henry has been loving this course all term – not to mention how thrilled her husband had been at the news – and that the long term practicum research projects are being showcased here throughout the entire month of April. Emma can only conclude that her son’s hard work has paid off in a way he’s proud of, and he must believe wholeheartedly that they will be too.
All Henry says is, “I take it you’re ready then?” and at Killian’s nod and Morgan’s “Yes, yes, YES, Henwy!!” exclamation, while she hops up and down exuberantly, he switches off the lights and presses a previously unnoticed button next to the light switch.
Immediately, the light and airy sound of some sort of flute or piccolo trickles through the quiet air of the room, a gently evocative melody with a lingering, haunted quality to its tone, enhanced by the sound echoing beneath of waves washing gently against the hull of some easily floating ship or back and forth over the shore of some deserted bay. Even as the sounds which are familiar and comforting to his tiny family audience wrap around them, small pinpricks of light appear just like stars in the night sky out on the ocean, sparking to life on the walls around them and the high ceiling overhead. It is a constellation spread out just for them in breathtaking majesty. Then, the Author begins to narrate his newest story…
Listening to Henry’s words, Emma feels her breath catch just a bit in both awe and emotion, glancing quickly over at her husband and daughter, before either of them realizes they are being observed. Morgan’s green eyes are wide and sparkling with interest and excitement, her mouth an open “o” as she looks above her, dazzled at what would appear for all the world to be the stars and constellations in the night sky brought indoors and spread out for their entertainment. Killian is silent and still, so much so that Emma knows – as few others would – just how valiantly he is battling some strong emotion…how very touched he is. Emma was never as great a student of the star charts and navigational astronomy as her sailor would have loved to make her, but Henry ate it right up, and she would bet her battered and beloved old VW that Henry has recreated some particular display that holds an extra meaning for he and his stepdad alone.
Shaking herself slightly to bring her focus back to earth and her attention back to the words of Henry’s presentation once more, she hears her son’s voice – soothing, engaging, and reeling her into the adventurous stories behind the scattered specks of light arrayed above them and their meaning and guidance to generations of sailors making their ways on a wide and pathless sea.
“The Cygnus,” Killian mouths silently beside her, appearing genuinely awestruck as he takes his gaze just momentarily from Henry’s representative “sky” to look in the eyes of the young man he has for years now cared for and loved like a son; a sincere gaze of fond understanding passing between them that brings a film of unshed tears to Emma’s vision that she has to rapidly blink away. In fact, soundless though it may be, she catches Killian’s comment only because she is so focused on her husband and his emotional reaction to this gift Henry has given all of them – but her pirate in particular. Emma senses that Killian knows it in this moment and holds tightly to his fingers twined with hers while practically beaming at her son, wondering again how she ever got lucky enough that the two most important people in her world would love each other as much as they each love her.
Morgan reaches over from Killian’s arms to pat her mother’s cheeks as Henry concludes his tale and turns the lights back up. “Don’t cry, Mama,” Morgan coos sweetly. “Henwy’s story was happy in the end. The Swan leads the sailor to his home.”
Emma smiles shakily at her daughter, and then the rest of her family with their looks of understanding. “I know, Baby,” Emma murmurs softly, still brushing away the evidence, but with her smile growing broader all the while. “Don’t worry. These are happy tears.”
Tagging a few who might enjoy: @jennjenn615 @searchingwardrobes @kmomof4 @jrob64 @apiratewhopines
@whimsicallyenchantedrose @laschatzi @stahlop @teamhook @revanmeetra87 @winterbaby89
@spartanguard @therooksshiningknight @tiganasummertree @optomisticgirl @xsajx @bluewildcatfanatic
@xarandomdreamx @booksteaandtoomuchtv @anmylica @jonesfandomfanatic @motherkatereloyshipper @branlovestowrite
@linda8084 @lfh1226-linda @the-darkdragonfly @elizabeethan @donteattheappleshook @let-it-raines @ineffablecolors
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ndbookstudy · 1 year
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practising the power of now, eckhart tolle, pg. 36-39
letting go of psychological time.
Learn to use time in the practical aspects of your life - we may call this "clock time" - but immediately return to present-moment awareness when those practical matters have been dealt with. In this way, there will be no buildup of "psychological time," which is identification with the past and continuous compulsive projection into the future.
If you set yourself a goal and work toward it, you are using clock time. You are aware of where you want to go, but you honor and give your fullest attention to the step that you are taking at this moment. If you then become excessively focused on the goal, perhaps because you are seeking happiness, fulfillment, or a more complete sense of self in it, the Now is no longer honored. It becomes reduced to a mere stepping-stone to the future, with no intrinsic value. Clock time then turns into psychological time. Your life's journey is no longer an adventure, just an obsessive need to arrive, to attain, to "make it." You no longer see or smell the flowers by the wayside either, nor are you aware of the beauty and the miracle of life that unfolds all around you when you are present in the Now.
Are you always trying to get somewhere other than where you are? Is most of your doing just a means to an end? Is fulfillment always just around the corner or confined to short-lived pleasures, such as sex, food, drink, drugs, or thrills and excitement? Are you always focused on becoming, achieving, and attaining, or alternatively chasing some new thrill or pleasure? Do you believe that if you acquire more things you will become more fulfilled, good enough, or psychologically complete? Are you waiting for a man or woman to give meaning to your life?
In the normal, mind-identified or unenlightened state of consciousness, the power and infinite creative potential that lie concealed in the Now are completely obscured by psychological time. Your life then loses its vibrancy, its freshness, its sense of wonder. The old patterns of thought, emotion, behavior, reaction, and desire are acted out in endless repeat performances, a script in your mind that gives you an identity of sorts but distorts or covers up the reality of the Now.
The mind then creates an obsession with the future as an escape from the unsatisfactory present. What you perceive as future is an intrinsic part of your state of consciousness now. If your mind carries a heavy burden of past, you will experience more of the same. The past perpetuates itself through lack of presence. The quality of your consciousness at this moment is what shapes the future - which, of course, can only be experienced as the Now.
If it is the quality of your consciousness at this moment that determines the future, then what is it that determines the quality of your consciousness? Your degree of presence. So the only place where true change can occur and where the past can be dissolved is the Now. You may find it hard to recognize that time is the cause of your suffering or your problems. You believe that they are caused by specific situations in your life, and seen from a conventional viewpoint, this is true.
But until you have dealt with the basic problem-making dysfunction of the mind - its attachment to past and future and denial of the Now - problems are actually interchangeable.
If all your problems or perceived causes of suffering or unhappiness were miraculously removed for you today, but you had not become more present, more conscious, you would soon find yourself with a similar set of problems or causes of suffering, like a shadow that follows you wherever you go.
Ultimately, there is only one problem: the time-bound mind itself. There is no salvation in time. You cannot be free in the future. PRESENCE IS THE KEY to freedom, so you can only be free now.
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a-very-fond-farewell · 2 months
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(*chanting*) tag game. tag game. taggame. tagayme. tageim. [...]
You’re starring in a movie with the last person saved in your camera roll and the last song you listened to is the title. Who/what is it?
tagged by the sweet @fismoll7secinv : hi dear :D I’ll jump on the 1-year delay fun with this one xD ahah
(since I don’t have music saved in my device I’ll go with the last song on spotify that I listened to)
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this would be the picture of the last person/entity saved (since it’s the same model, I’ll put both for variety), while the song would be: MAGICIAN, by Lexie Liu.
coincidentally, the lovely subject of the picture(s) is one of the many inspirations I collected (in terms of styling and vibes) to create an OC of mine, named Bang Soo Ah for a fic I’m working on. so I guess I’ll stick with that name for my co-star in this scenario! moreover, the song MAGICIAN has a beautiful, truly stunning MV to match with fantastic visuals and medieval/esoteric themes, which means it’s time-traveling hours babeyy!!
in this alternate reality, BSA does not belong to the universe I originally set her life in, but comes from 200 years in the future and accidentally stumbled in the right geographical landscape (Europe) but absolutely wrong timeline, so of course I have to help her getting back on track so she can go study the Middle Ages to her heart’s content!
but lo and behold, the only reason she messed up the calculations to get so far back in time is because someone too powerful for her own good had intercepted her intentions from the past and hijacked her journey, so she would stop in the 21st century instead. this leads to timelines to bleed and a Knight is sent to hunt the time-traveler down before she can reach her destination.
in this scenario i would try to keep her safe by disguising her at my place and give her some clothes to look less suspicious, but she still leaves some sort of magical trace wherever she goes, one that the enchanted knight can sense from miles away.
I’ll tag (but only if you have time, if not.. I tagged you so you could snoop into my business eheh): @thepointlessmasterpiece , @amethystina , @shhhsoftnwet , @nevolos
[please don’t reblog, but you can reply in the comments if you’d like! :D see u peeps!]
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seerofaspects · 3 months
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Seer of Space
The Seer of Space is an aspect I hold quite close to myself as it's always been the associated aspect with myself and a character of mine who originally started off as a self insert but has evolved over time into being her own thing. I wanted to kind of go into the Seer of Space a little bit and actually give my thoughts about this aspect. The Seer class is the understanding class and the Seer understands from others, they are then able to translate their understanding so others are able to utilize that information in a tactical sense. There is also an association of having alternative timeline versions of the Seer communicate with them in some capacity, so they can literarily use themselves from other realities in order to grab hold of information. The personality traits of the Seer tend to be a bit all over the place, but the Seer tends to have confidence in themselves over their aspect but the more the understanding about their aspect, the more they realize they haven't even cracked the surface of understanding. They tend to be blunt with difficult to read personalities, which may make them come off as being hard to approach. The Space aspect revolves around creation, creativity, and of course the literal aspect of space and matter itself. There is hinted to be themes of isolation for the space player as well. The space player also gets visions of the future and past thanks to the clouds in skia. They are also essential to frog breeding in Skia. The Seer of Space is going to be able to gather understanding from others relating to the aspect of space, recontextualize it, and then have others be able to have an understanding of the space aspect. I want to give a few example of Seer of Space abilities here. The first is having a session where pretty much every player is in the dark of their surroundings, almost like they are playing the game with the map feature turned off. The Seer of Space however, is able to see where everyone is on the map and is able to coordinate others in her session and provide assistance in where they are going. Another example, if we are using alternative timelines, we can have the Seer of Space having visions of not the session that they are in but other sessions, seeing what they are doing and what they are not doing. In the session I made for my OC, there were multiple ongoing sessions that were 'competing' against one another, so having abilities which allow her to spy into other sessions was very important for that and one of the reasons why she ended up being the Seer of Space. I even mix things up to where the clouds she sees in Skia are not of her session but still provide super valuable information to her. I almost like the idea of the Seer of Space not getting feedback from their past selves but rather other sessions all together. Since Space is the counter to Time, it felt like it would be a bit fun to change how this interaction works a little bit. Another simple example I can think of for the Seer is sort of gathering insight on creative and innovative processes from other sources and being able to give an understanding of how people create certain things. The Seer could look at a piece of artwork made by someone else, come up with a tutorial on how to do what they did, and share that with others. It could be artwork, a special computer, a weapon, etc, etc.
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samueldelany · 6 months
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For Ytasha Womack, the Afrofuture Is Now
The writer and filmmaker discusses the blend of theoretical cosmology and Black culture in Chicago’s newest planetarium show.
Ytasha Womack, a screenwriter on “Niyah and the Multiverse,” currently playing at the Adler Planetarium in Chicago, is the author of numerous works including “Black Panther: A Cultural Exploration."
By Katrina Miller, New York Times, March 16, 2024.
On Feb. 17, the Adler Planetarium in Chicago unveiled a new sky show called “Niyah and the Multiverse,” a blend of theoretical cosmology, Black culture and imagination. And as with many things Afrofuturistic, Ytasha Womack’s fingerprints are all over it.
Ms. Womack, who writes both about the genre and from within it, has curated Afrofuturism events across the country — including Carnegie Hall’s citywide festival — and her work is currently featured in the Smithsonian’s National Museum of African American History and Culture. Afrofuturism is perhaps most popularly on display in the “Black Panther” films, which immerse viewers in an alternate reality of diverse, technologically advanced African tribes untouched by the forces of colonialism. (In 2023, Ms. Womack published “Black Panther: A Cultural Exploration,” Marvel’s reference book examining the films’ influences.)
But examples of the genre include the science fiction writer Octavia Butler, the Star Trek character Nyota Uhura and the cyborgian songs of Janelle Monáe. Some even envision the immortality of Henrietta Lacks, a Black woman whose cells were taken without consent for what became revolutionary breakthroughs in medicine, as an Afrofuturist parable.
Ms. Womack was one of the scriptwriters for “Niyah and the Multiverse.” She spoke with The New York Times about what Afrofuturism means to her, the process of weaving the genre’s themes with core concepts in physics and how the show aims to inspire. This conversation has been condensed and edited for clarity.
How do you define Afrofuturism?
Afrofuturism is a way of thinking about the future, with alternate realities based on perspectives of the African diaspora. It integrates imagination, liberation, technology and mysticism.
Imagination is important because it is liberating. People have used imagination to transform their circumstances, to move from one reality to another. They’ve used it as a way to escape. When you are in challenging environments, you’re not socialized to imagine. And so to claim your imagination — to embrace it — can be a way of elevating your consciousness.
What makes Afrofuturism different from other futuristic takes is that it has a nonlinear perspective of time. So the future, past and present can very much be one. And that’s a concept expressed in quantum physics, when you think about these other kinds of realities.
Those alternate realities could be philosophical cosmologies, or they could be scientifically explained worlds. How we explain them runs the gamut, depending on what your basis for knowledge is.
Which Afrofuturist works have influenced you?
I think about Parliament-Funkadelic, a popular music collective of the 1970s. As a kid, their album covers were in my basement. A lot of artists during that era — Herbie Hancock, Miles Davis, Earth, Wind & Fire, Labelle — had these very epic, Afrofuturistic album covers, but Parliament-Funkadelic sticks out. There’s one depicting Star Child, the alter ego of George Clinton, the lead musical artist, emerging from a spaceship. That sort of space-tastic imagery was abounding for me as a kid.
“The Wiz,” a reimagining of “The Wizard of Oz,” was on all the time in my house growing up. It had this fabulosity to it — a heightened dream world that reflected 1970s New York. You had the Twin Towers in Emerald City, the empty lots Dorothy walked through with all the trash, the Wicked Witch running a fashion sweatshop, representing the garment district. The film took an urban landscape and made it fabulous, tying in this theme of Dorothy coming into her own through her journey.
Those are images that had a very strong impact on me. As I matured, I got into house music and dance, and began to see relationships between rhythm, movement, space and time. It’s not always something I can give language to, but it’s certainly become a basis for how I talk about metaphysics, in a physical kind of way.
What inspired your team to create “Niyah and the Multiverse”?
We wanted to tell a story about a young girl named Niyah, who wants to be a scientist and who is figuring out who she is — not just on Earth, but also in the universe.
Niyah looks for insight from her grandparents, who explain some of the symbolism of the African artwork in her home. She thinks about concepts she has learned from her science teacher. And she even meets her future self, who is a theoretical astrophysicist. Together, the two explore some of the more popular multiverse theories that scientists are looking at today.
Which theories are those?
Niyah learns about the many-worlds theory, which is this idea that all of your choices evolve into different universes. The choices you make create new paths, essentially creating multiple existences of yourself.
She learns about bubble theory, which says that after our Big Bang, more universes sort of bubbled off, each with their own laws of physics. Niyah also explores the idea of shadow matter, in which particles get reassembled as similar entities in mirror universes.
So there’s this parallel between Niyah learning about the multiverse and also exploring her own identity through her ancestral heritage.
Right. Because both of these are paths of meaning, different ways of understanding who we are. Afrofuturists tend to think in a way that is accepting of a lot of different realities anyway, so it was a pretty seamless experience to weave the physics and other aspects of the genre together. There’s already this intergenerational, or interdimensional, element to the conversation and the art that comes out of it.
The show is presented in the planetarium dome, which has a 360-degree screen, so it’s very immersive. Stepping into the space and watching the show feels like an interdimensional experience of its own.
The first audience to see it had a very emotional response. Some people were crying. There were Black women in the audience saying they always wanted to see this kind of imagery, that they had wanted to be scientists at one point in time. Others were deeply touched by the vibrancy of the show, of how it was able to bring these multiverse theories to life.
It’s impressive that these physics concepts, which can be difficult for people to understand or relate to, are made so accessible with examples that are not only imaginative but very rooted in Black culture.
Right. And it wasn’t difficult for us to do that, because as Afrofuturists, we operate in that space. It’s just about mirroring a way of being that we have always been immersed in.
I think “Niyah and the Multiverse” expresses that we all have different relationships to space and time. We are all looking to understand who we are, where we come from and where we can go in this broader space-time trajectory.
And maybe for some, the show normalizes the idea that there are kids who are Black who dream and are curious about the world. That curiosity can take them in the direction of becoming an artist, or becoming a scientist.
What challenges did you face in tackling the multiverse?
In trying to write some elements of the story, we had to push our own imagination to come up with what a universe might look like if you’re not using the laws of physics that exist in this one. Like, what does it mean to have your particles reassembled into something else? Sometimes we’d come up with ideas for different worlds, and our science consultants would say that already exists.
For me, this shows the beauty of bridging art and science. Artists can give visuals and narratives to ideas that scientists come up with. Or it could happen the other way around: Artists imagine something, and scientists think about what might be needed to support a universe that looks that way.
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mcgnagallsarmy · 2 years
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Spuffy style Reading Challenge - #20: A Fic A Week
So this is gonna be a looong list, be prepared!
A Fic With More Than 200k Words
West of the Moon, East of the Sun by KnifeEdge [NC-17]
I keep having the strangest dream. Every night it's the same thing: a dark room, a big bed, and a silent vampire that I can feel, but not see. I'd be wigged, except it's just a dream, right? It'll be a cold day in hell before I ever willingly sleep with a vampire again...
Fic You Haven’t Read by Author You Love
Seven by Holly [NC-17]
It's been months since Willow almost ended the world, and a tense summer has turned into an ominous fall in Sunnydale. Spike is back from wherever and acting weirder than usual, a new threat is rising that—for once—doesn't seem to stem from the hellmouth, and Buffy has no idea who to trust or what to believe. She also doesn’t have the luxury of time to figure it out. Some things never change.
Popular Fic in 2021:
You Learn by bramcrackers [Adult Only]
When Buffy learns about Angel’s history with Drusilla, she can’t ignore how he seems to keep everything about his past to himself unless forced. How can she love someone she doesn’t even know? A trip to a local mage later, she’s plunged headfirst into Angel’s entire sordid history in a series of visions. And dealing with all of that would have been a hell of a lot easier if Spike hadn’t somehow been pulled into it, happy to add the color commentary.
You Can Read in a Day
Fool me Once by Miss Marisol [NC-17]
Some weeks after Something Blue: When Tara helps Buffy find out the horrible truth - that Willow (with Xander's approval) has been dosing her with love potions, so that she thinks she loves Riley- she is furious. She is going to get her revenge on Willow and Xander in the most hurtful way she can think of – by dating someone they desperately wanted her to stay away from...
Fic About a Difficult Topic
Blip by Holly [R]
She lives a life where everything is chosen for her. But not this.
Recommended by a Friend
Hung Up by kats_meow [NC-17]
What if instead of fast food Buffy got a job as a phone sex worker at a new establishment in Sunnydale?
Fic That Will Make You Cry
Future Perfect by Sigyn [R]
“I only show the truth,” the creature said. “The truth of the future. How you feel about it is all your own.” “What future?” Buffy demanded. “What are you talking about?” The demon smiled. “You’ll see soon enough.”
Fic Published in 2012
Who We Used To Be by sweetprincipale [Adult Only]
A short Spuffy, just a small scene from a life that should have been given a second chance. Set after Angel S. five, acting as if no comic series or novels occurred. Consider this an alternate universe, it'll be easier.
Fic Published in 2022
Something Blue's Clues by cawthraven [PG-13]
Willow is just fed up with the way Buffy and Spike act around each other. What are they, five?
A Genre You Don’t Usually Read - POV
A Small Boat on the Ocean by sandy_s [PG-13]
Buffy and Spike are settled in New Orleans and decide to start a family in a realistic way (as realistic as you can get in Buffyverse). Post-NFA, Buffy POV.
Based on a Children’s Classic
Little Red Riding Hood & The Big Bad Wolf by Twinkles [R]
A fairy-tale, of sorts. Response to a challenge by hcconn: Buffy gets her little red riding hood costume at Ethan's instead of the Victorian dress.
Banner With Your Favorite Color
Dreamscape by Holly [NC-17]
While her nights are occupied fighting evil, her dreams are haunted by a devastatingly sexy if not totally evil vampire. But how thin is the line between dreams and reality? More importantly: how thin does she want it to be?
Young Adult Fiction
Golden Hour by kennedynoelle [R]
Spike never came to Sunnydale during the first few seasons. The first time Buffy sees him is during The Harsh Light of Day, sunbathing on campus adorned with the Gem of Amara. Oh no, she thinks, the pit of her stomach dropping and sending tinglies all over, he's hot. They start dating, Buffy unaware that her new boyfriend is a member of the undead. Of course, she has to find out eventually...
First Story in a Trilogy
Wrong Place, Perfect Time by MaggieLaFey [NC-17]
Buffy, a successful lawyer, and William, an excellent detective, are sneaking into the LA Archives and Records Center at the last minute on Halloween day. They’re also both on the phone, and don’t notice that the elevator they’re stepping into might have a few problems. Will they get to know each other once they get stuck inside, or will they be at each other’s throats sooner than William can say “pet” and Buffy can say “sexist jerk”?
Second Story in a Trilogy
Nemesis by Holly [NC-17]
Book II of the Yellow Brick Road series. While trying to cope with mixed feelings and brewing resentment over the fact that Spike screwed her and vanished, Buffy finds herself increasingly suspicious about Faith's close relationship with Angel. Just as things can't get any more confusing, a blond vampire she was sure she would never see again decides that it's time.
Third Story in a Trilogy
Intimate by Holly [R]
He was mesmerized by her heartbeat.
Dystopian Fic
The Footprints Left Behind by Willow91 [NC-17]
In the wake of an unknown attack on the American Frontier and the subsequent loss of contact with the friends they still had stateside, Buffy and Xander sneak into the country and begin a long, dangerous journey to find old friends and the source of the near apocalypse before it spreads throughout the rest of the world.
Award-Winning Fic
Not Dead by Herself [NC-17]
Soon after her resurrection, Buffy gets turned. Spike tries to help her adjust.
Set in the Decade Before You Were Born
A Different Kind of Hell by OffYourBird [NC-17]
Jumping through Glory's tower portal, Buffy and Spike find themselves in a hell dimension they never expected. One that looks suspiciously like 1880's London. Will they find a way back home? Will the truth behind William the Bloody at last make itself known? Will Buffy ever stop butchering the Queen's English? Join them and find out. Starts off at the end of "The Gift."
Historical Fiction From A Favorite Time Period
The Darkling by OffYourBird [NC-17]
When Buffy’s quest to get Spike returned to her is fulfilled in an unexpected way, she finds herself in a complicated relationship with an intrigued master vampire who isn’t the man she loves, but who might be someday… if she can convince him to step out of the dark.
Classic You’ve Never Read
Charms of the Clarion by Eurydice [NC-17]
When the Council approaches Buffy with an offer she can't refuse, she finds herself in another world, with Spike as her necessary partner. Set early Season 5.
A Fic That Will Keep You Up All Night
Almost Paradise by Holly [NC-17]
When presented with the opportunity to magically alter the world she lives in, Buffy knows there are a lot of very good reasons why she shouldn't seize it, but figures things can't get worse. She's wrong.
Most read in 2021
Grace by Soulburnt [NC-17]
In the aftermath of 'Dead Things,' Buffy fears that Spike has dusted.  She doesn't think she can survive the world she's been pulled back into without him.  When she finds he's alive, Buffy takes a chance at reclaiming her own life by sharing her time, words... and even her blood.
Set in Your Home State - I’ll amend this to Europe
Just to Reach You by Sunalso [R]
Post-Series. Spike and Buffy have been a couple for almost two years. The honeymoon is over and together they're discovering they still have a lot to learn about themselves, each other, and how this whole "normal" relationship thing works.
You Once Started But Never Finished
These Violent Delights by Touchstoneaf [Adult Only]
Part 2 of the Something Wicked series  (S5, beginning with "Buffy vs Dracula") Spuffy have been together for a while now. Things have been great. The Scoobies have more or less accepted the reality of their couplehood, Spike finally has his own place, so there’s plenty of thoroughly excellent shag-time, and college is kind of fun when you have a worldly, undead tutor to poke fun at your instructors and help you remember your lessons with fascinating anecdotes or, when that fails, incredibly memorable sexy-times. Life is actually, like, bordering on good. But then Mr. Eurovamp 2000 blows into town and causes a bunch of jealousy. And then Buffy starts having a bunch of crappy Slayer dreams about glowy purply stuff. And Dawn is going off the hook even more than usual, and Mom is acting weird… And, as if there’s not enough to deal with, Buffy’s pretty sure that idiot Riley Finn is still lurking around town trying to come up with a reason to shoot her boyfriend… Buffy should have known things couldn’t stay yummy for long. She probably would have started to worry if it had.
With a One Word Title
Called by Dusty [PG-13]
A slayer, a vampire and how they called through the years.
A Fairy Tale Retelling
Ever Just As Sure by lafillesauvage [R]
Because there can never be enough Spuffy retellings of ‘Beauty and the Beast’.
A Fic Set in High School or Durig the High School Years
Beneath the Surface by The Danish Bird [NC-17]
Spike returns a little earlier to find his gem. The mayor decides that shooting Angel with a poison, which only Slayer blood can cure, is simply too risky for his Faith. And suddenly, Buffy finds herself locked up in a strange underground room in the company of her mortal enemy and the vampire who just broke her heart. But maybe it isn’t all bad. Maybe, this way, Angel will see that this idea about leaving for her own good is bad. Right? Spike, he just wants to get out, but if that’s out of the question, well then at least he’s going to try to have some fun! Starts out right after The Prom and before Graduation Day pt.I.
Fic Set in Another Country
Encapsulated by BillieLiar [NC-17]
“Hotel. I was supposed to have a hotel. This is so not a hotel.” “They’re called capsule hotels, luv, they’re getting common lately.”
Reread a Favorite Fic
Right Next (Door) to You by talesofstories [PG] - this is an all human story
“Why don’t you and Spike just move in together?” “Because that would be really weird? We’re neighbors and friends, Dawn; it’s not like we’re dating.” Buffy firmly ignored Dawn’s muttered, “You could have fooled me.” (Buffy and Spike are neighbors, best friends, confidants. What they aren't is dating. Which is the one thing that everyone assumes they are doing.)
On Your To-Read List the Longest
You Don't Know What You've Got by lex_hex [NC-17]
The Rwasundi demon summoned by the Trio sends Buffy back in time to the moment that Anya's power center is destroyed. Navigating the implications of time travel, Buffy gets to revisit some past events with a new perspective and lots of foresight.
A Fic About Travel
A Matter Of Taste by Twinkles [Adult Only]
A potentially horrifying story of lust, blood and hunger when the world turns inside out. Set shortly before Buffy vs Dracula; Riley left town at the end of S4.
Popular Fic You’ve Never Read
Pet by Sigyn [Adult Only]
Spike and Buffy have been living happily together for what seems like forever, but fate has a sick sense of humor. Buffy finds herself caught in the wrong body, in the wrong time, needing the assistance of a purely evil Spike. Now she must attempt to forge their trust anew, when the dynamic isn’t that of slayer and redeemed, but only that of vampire... and victim.
Crime or Mystery
Liebestod by Iamblichus [NC-17]
They really should have known the First Evil wasn't done with them after Sunnydale... Enter: Time-travel, mysterious prophesies, and lots of poetry. BtVS Post-Season 7; Angel AU Season 5. All's well that ends well.
Science Fiction - I count time travel stories as sci-fi
Someday by Sunalso [NC-17]
AU. The world is broken, but Buffy is given seven days to make it better. Does saving humanity mean letting go of the one thing she wants, or grabbing on to it with both hands?
2022 New Release
One Step Away by violettathepiratequeen [PG]
Spike knows the way she dances. Not even Faith in Buffy's body can fool him.
The First Fic in a Series
Tutor by Holly [NC-17]
Buffy has a certain set of skills: staking vampires, slaying demons, preventing the apocalypse, and chasing off men after a single night. That last thing could stand being crossed off her list. Fortunately, she knows just the man—err, vamp—to help.
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Holding On to You by MaggieLaFey [NC-17]
Spike is a non-ghost in Angel’s not-so-shiny new law firm, haunted by a terrifying hell. But in his pocket, he has the note Buffy left him in the stranger’s house in Sunnydale, the one from the best night of his life. Will her words be too little, or will they help him hold on to what they’d had those last nights?
An Inspirational Story
The Girl Who Courted Death by OffYourBird [NC-17]
Due to a misfortune of genetics, Buffy is never Called as a Slayer. Instead, she grows up in L.A. with a different set of challenges and trials, unaware of the supernatural world. That is, until a chance encounter with the Slayer of Slayers changes her life—and everything afterward—forever.
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scottsummersevents · 7 months
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Well, it's definitely been a hot minute since our last official post for the Scott Summers Bingo, but holidays and life and stresses have kept us hopping (or hiding if we had half a second to breathe), so we haven't done as many updates as we should have. We had all the posts from the Secret Santa (https://archiveofourown.org/collections/ss_secretsanta_23), but our usual Round-Ups sort of fell by the wayside. That said, we have not forgotten our guy and his bingo, and we've had some bingo posts since the last one. Also we haven't capped off the Round 1 for this bingo yet, so if you like Scott/Logan and haven't signed up yet and think you might be interested, check out our FAQ/Rules (https://scoganbingo.tumblr.com/post/728946030219018240/faqs-and-rules), and then pop over here to sign up (https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1N2jc2vhBD_yeMFRiKevPNlwe_9jpVh29jsao9nZGikk/viewform?edit_requested=true). We have a Discord as well, so if you're 18+, hop on in (https://discord.gg/6RjVpJe4A5) and say hi. And while you're doing that, check out these amazing fics!
Title: “Here, At The End of All Things” Author: Cerylid Card #: SSB 007 B5 - Trapped between realities Pairing: Scott/Logan (X-Men Comicverse) Rating: T Warnings/Tags: Touch-starved, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Resurrection, Suicidal Thoughts, Grief/Mourning, Scott Summers Needs A Hug, Trauma, Uncanny X-Men (2018) Wolverine and Cyclops, Alternative Universe - Slight Canon Divergence Summary: The other X-Men have vanished, and a newly-resurrected Scott has called out their enemies to face him at the remains of the School, determined to take as many of them with him as he can. He didn't expect Logan to show up and help. He didn't expect to survive. And he certainly didn't expect Logan to stay and look after him afterwards. Word Count: 3248 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50118301
Title: I Have Doubts, Sometimes, Of Being Real Author: endlesstwanted Card #: SSB-011 Square Filled: O3 — “Through the storm, we reach the shore/you give it all but I want more” Pairing: Logan/Scott Summers Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Post-X2: X-Men United (2003), Past Jean Grey/Scott Summers, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Dreams and Nightmares Summary: Months after the events in Alkali Lake, Scott wakes up from a nightmare to find Logan at the usually empty side of the bed. Word Count: 878 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51335404
Title: The Getaway Author: scottxlogan Card #: SSB-001 Square Filled: O2: Caught in the Rain Pairing: Scott Summers/Tony Stark Rating: Mature Warnings/Tags: Meet-Cute, Angst and Romance, Drama & Romance, Sexual Content, Vacation, out in the rain, Forbidden Love, Light Angst, Exploration, Minor Jean Grey/Scott Summers Summary: After the rest of the original five on the X-Men team have taken off to find their path in life outside of the school Scott decides it's time to take a journey of his own to Venice where fate puts him in Tony Stark's orbit and sparks fly. What can it mean to the future moving forward for Scott? Word Count: 4721 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51626764
Title: Fifth Times the Charm Author: Cerylid Card: SSC-007 Square Filled/Prompt: (G1 - Party Adoptable replacement) - "Celebrating New Year Somewhere Big and Fancy" Pairing: Scott/Logan Rating: G Tags/Warnings: Scott Summers Deserves Happiness, Scott is Scott, Logan is a Softie (X-Men) Summary: Scott Summers has been trying to ask Logan to the New Year party for a couple of weeks, but it keeps going wrong. When he finally gets the chance, can he overcome he fears to find out if Logan feels the same? Word Count: 2161 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53115751
Title: Long Nights Author: Cerylid Card: SSB-007 Square Filled/Prompt: (G5) - "Mission Gone Wrong" Pairing: Scott/Logan Rating: M Tags/Warnings: 5+1 Things, Missions, Only One Bed, Pool & Billiards, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Scott Summers, Scott Summers Deserves Happiness, Scott Summers Needs A Hug, Protective Logan (X-Men), Grumpy Logan (X-Men), Making Out, Intimacy Summary: Five long nights that Logan found difficult... and one long night he didn't. Word Count: 3791 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53116726
Title: New Beginnings Author: Cerylid Card: SSB-007 Square Filled/Prompt:(O2) - "Beach" Pairing: Scott/Logan Rating: G Tags/Warnings: Krakoa Era (X-Men), Developing Relationship, Intimacy, Making Out, Resurrection Summary: Mother Mold has been destroyed, and the whole of the new mutant nation of Krakoa has been celebrating. Everything has changed, everything is new, and maybe it’s the chance for new beginnings. Word Count: 1475 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53556145
Title: Resolution Author: Cerylid Card: SSB 007 Square Filled/Prompt: (B5) - "I told you so" Pairing: Scott/Logan Rating: E Tags/Warnings: Scott Summers Needs A Hug, Logan is a Softie (X-Men), Sexual Content, telepathic trauma, Not Jean Grey Friendly Summary: After a bitter argument with his ex, Scott is rescued from his doubts by Logan. Word Count: 2474 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53440141
Title: The Muse: Chapter 5 Author: scottxlogan Card #: SSB-001 Square Filled: G3: "Honey I bought your favorites from the bakery." Pairing: Scott Summers/Steve Rogers Rating: Explicit Warnings/Tags: (look up) Summary: Scott and Steve's quiet morning together is filled with poignant reminders of the past leading up to a heated conversation after an uninvited guest provokes something unexpected in their relationship. Word Count: Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48674320/chapters/135397045
Title of Fill: Inspiration: The Muse (Chapter 2) Author: scottxlogan Card #: NSFW Card #2 Square Filled: Summers Splash Mini-Event Sex Manual (with photos) Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48674320/chapters/122960221 Ship/Main Pairing: Scott Summers/Steve Rogers Rating: Explicit Tags/Warnings/Triggers: Light Bondage, Blindfolds, tied-up Scott Summers, Sexual Content, Rope Bondage, Sub Scott Summers, Artist Steve Rogers, Light Dom/sub, Praise Kink, Past Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Past Jean Grey/Scott Summers, Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Secret Crush, Awkward Crush, Art, Gay Bobby Drake, Scott Summers & Bobby Drake friendship, Rimming, Explicit Sexual Content, Masturbation, Light Spanking, Sexual exploration, Sex Toys, Self-Discovery Summary: Scott weighs out his options after Steve offers him a thrilling proposal. While Scott considers his decision, Scott finds himself leaning towards a path to self-discovery and sexual explorations only to learn that he doesn't have a clue where to start. After Scott has an outing with Bobby, Steve decides it's time to teach Scott a few things about the world of pleasure.   Word Count: 16635
Title: The perfect shot Author: stormxpadme Square Filled: Sexy days of Summers | Artists --- Steve Rogers, Bobby Drake --- Exhibitionism Pairing: Scott Summers/Steve Rogers Rating: Explicit Warnings: light BDSM Summary: "Don't come yet," Steve reminded Scott sternly, and Scott was pretty sure, if he was to survive this morning, he would strangle his boyfriend in his sleep. Word Count: 2073 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49075156/chapters/123811438
Title: The vault that is your mind Author: stormxpadme Square Filled: Sexy days of Summers | Heist --- Bucky Barnes --- Against the wall Pairing: Scott Summers/Bucky Barnes Rating: Explicit Warnings: light BDSM Summary: In which a heist goes wrong for Scott and Bucky and they find some intriguing ways to kill time before the rescue. Word Count: 4704 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50296798
Title: Now that we've lost the moon Author: stormxpadme Square Filled: Sexy days of Summers | Friends with benefits --- Logan --- Hurt/Comfort Pairing: Scott Summers/Logan Rating: Explicit Summary: In which Logan comforts Scott after rescuing him in the aftermath of the last Hellfire Gala. Word Count: 3153 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50297170
Title: Feel the rhythm Author: stormxpadme Square Filled: Sexy days of Summers | Musicians --- Remy LeBeau--- Spanking Pairing: Scott Summers/Remy LeBeau Rating: Explicit Summary: In which, after a failed gig at the Mutant High prom, Scott punishes Remy for fucking up in the most delicious way possible. Word Count: 4116 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50297422
Title: Cupcakes and Gunfire Author: Wolfsheart Card #: MRP-002 Square Filled: NSFW Card #1 Square 5: Wedding Ring Pairing: Scott Summers/Bucky Barnes Rating: M Warnings: Swearing, homophobia, fight and a little blood, blow job, implied sex Summary: The X-Men, Avengers, and S.H.I.E.L.D. team up to bring in a Hydra problem that has somehow managed to go even more extreme than Hydra's usual villainy. The mission required a mutant, and that happened to be Scott Summers, and Bucky to go in undercover as newlyweds, and for Scott to reveal himself to be a visible mutant at the right moment. Of course, they'll have plenty of back-up, but until that moment, and even after, the two unlikely partners will find it very easy to play their parts. Until it's no longer just acting. Word Count: 16,840 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49728154
Title: Luxury of freedom Author: stormxpadme Square Filled: Sexy days of Summers | University AU --- Warren Worthington III --- Outdoors Pairing: Scott Summers/Warren Worthington III Rating: Explicit Summary: In which Warren invites Scott to a luxury trip on a family yacht for spring break. They find ways to kill the time. Word Count: 4320 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50297809
Title: Hooked on a pirate Author: stormxpadme Square Filled: Sexy days of Summers | Mutual pining --- Kurt Wagner --- Role-Playing, Spanking, Outdoors Pairing: Scott Summers/Kurt Wagner Rating: Explicit Summary: In which Kurt comes back to the X-Men just in time to stop Scott from going to Alkali Lake and the two of them discover, they have a lot more to in common than a shitty family background. Word Count: 7781 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50298247
Title: Just say I do Author: stormxpadme Square Filled: Sexy days of Summers | Accidental marriage --- Tony Stark --- Praise kink, Mirror, Temperature play Pairing: Scott Summers/Tony Stark Rating: Explicit Summary: In which Tony and Scott accidentally get married and decide to consummate said marriage while they're at it. Word Count: 5390 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50298580
Title: The things I do for you Author: stormxpadme Square Filled: Sexy days of Summers | Road trip --- Sam Wilson --- Toys, Edging, Spanking, Make up sex, Dirty talk Pairing: Scott Summers/Sam Wilson Rating: Explicit Summary: In which Scott and Sam go on a road trip for their first holiday together and Scott hates every second of it until he doesn't. Word Count: 4835 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50298865
Title: Quivering in anticipation Author: stormxpadme Square Filled: Sexy days of Summers | Camping trip --- Clint Barton, Natasha Romanoff --- Dom/Sub, Toys, Restrained, Edging, Switch, Outdoors, Threesome/Group Pairing: Scott Summers/Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff Rating: Explicit Summary: In which Scott, Clint and Natasha are on a stakeout together and find many creative ways to pass the time. Word Count: 7915 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50299399
Title: Can't turn you loose now Author: stormxpadme Square Filled: Sexy days of Summers | Friends to lovers --- Ororo Munroe --- Hurt/Comfort, Bubble bath Pairing: Scott Summers/Ororo Munroe Rating: Explicit Summary: In which Ororo comforts Scott after Scott has lost Jean to Logan for good, and they find out together that this separation might actually have been for the best. Word Count: 6937 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50300194
Title: The lengths I'd go for you Author: stormxpadme Square Filled: Sexy days of Summers | Age difference (no minors) --- Thor --- Toys, Daddy kink, Spanking Pairing: Scott Summers/Thor Rating: Explicit Summary: In which Scott gets to make a wish after winning a bet against Thor, and some creative use of hammers is happening. Word Count: 4766 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50300755
Title: A variant of happiness Author: stormxpadme Square Filled: Sexy days of Summers | Time travel --- Logan --- Kissing Pairing: Scott Summers/Logan (movieverse) Rating: Explicit Summary: In which Scott gets stopped by a variant of Logan and by Wade before he can encounter Jean at Alkali Lake and is given a new chance at life. Word Count: 6102 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50301169
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therwriter · 6 months
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MASSIVE VAGUE CN/BABEL EVENT SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT
After having some time to digest it, and based on leaks so accuracy may vary, but my initial impression is I'm genuinely impressed that with these revelations HG has made the doctor both even more doc warcrimes than we ever thought possible, but also more themselves. This person is still, ultimately, trying to do the right thing, still loves the people of Terra. It's both terrifying and beautiful that we can absolutely see how they're believably the same person, just with and without the burden of knowledge and history and loyalty, rather than some sort of evil alternate personality.
It beautifully mirrors Amiya, Lord of Fiends, who acquired her historic ties that bind artificially and remains separated from them by her nature as an outsider, vs the Doctor who was severed from their historic ties but remains tied to them by their very existence. Can these two paradoxical existences, one step in the past and the other in the future, Theresa's creations, make her dream a reality? Find out next time, on Arknights!
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wuntrum · 1 year
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Hi I dont really remember your ocs but I really want to meet them! Who is right now on the radar? or maybe who is your fave? can you tell me something about them in a few sentences?
hiii! so there's a couple groups of them:
saints for girls: my fake little emo band, they have the most information publicly available about them: if you check out the blog and take the "which character are you" quiz, they have little descriptions at the end :)
my muses' muse: this is the story of two of my characters, aster blake and lilah medina. aster is a horror-obsessed painter in their late 20s. they're generally pretty anxious, not very talkative, and they don't trust very easily. most of their paintings stem from dreams, most of which are about their own death (very cute, very fun). lilah is a 35* year old multidisciplinary artist, she does a fair amount of painting + printmaking + drawing. she's much more charismatic than aster, but she's EXTREMELY guarded around people, particularly about her past. both of them are very stubborn and nosy about the people around them (though aster hates to admit it; lilah has come to terms with this lol). the two of them meet through an artist residency at the fischer house, named after lewis fischer, a beloved maritime printmaker who disappeared very suddenly one night before his final exhibition, and is presumed dead at this point. also lilah's a vampire <3
signals: jeanne, my beloved <3 she's the main character, very imaginative and sensitive, desperately wants love and affection but doesn't know how to actually get it from the people in her life, so she goes inside her own head instead. she wears headphones constantly for this reason (+ also i think she has pretty bad misophonia), which is how she initially hears God trying to talk to her
nimo, the techxorcist: i haven't actually finished a drawing of them, which is sick and twisted honestly, but they're in an alternate reality sci-fi future where generally society has gone really futuristic, but because of how much companies and governments use the new stuff to monitor and control people, there's a growing population that's gone back to using early internet era tech...which is now super haunted. for whatever reason, nimo can see and commune with the tech ghosts/spirits/demons, and so they travel around doing that! personality wise though theyre pretty standoffish, honestly they don't like people that much generally which is why they're so gravitated toward the tech LOL. they're also very imaginative though, they're able to problemsolve their way out of almost everything. almost nocturnal. very pale because they don't go outside a lot.
it ends with august: this story has been like assembled and taken apart like four times now so i don''t wanna commit to anything super concrete just yet 😭 but, right now, the titular august is an anxious mess to be honest (kind of a theme among my people i guess sldfslfk). he comes from a family of grifters (mainly his dad and grandfather) who fake spiritual and psychic powers and make their money by selling like, self help books and counseling sessions and that sort of thing. august, however, DOES actually have some sort of psychic powers, growing stronger by the day without him doing anything or wanting them (its almost like a parasitic thing, it becomes unclear as to who is actually controlling who). right nowww the actual story "it ends with august" takes place when august is 27, he went to college majoring in english + is now a librarian in a moderately big city, but has to go back to his small coastal home town because of some psychic shenanigans. lucky's also a pretty big part of the story, he reads as a sterotypical jock-y guy on first meeting, but he has a lot more going on. he went to college through a football scholarship, but had a career-ending injury in his senior year, and had to go back to the small town ever since. lucky + august went to school together, and were pretty good friends until Something Happened, after which they became really estranged...but because they both end up back home, they start being in each others orbits again and well...yknow
those are the main ones! i'm working on some others, too, mainly for the graveyard shift, but it's so not concrete at the moment that i can't even rly talk about them yet LOL. my favorites tend to change from month to month, although typing all these descriptions out made me realize how much i miss august and the techxorcist, so i might need to make art for both of them and their stories soon 😭
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darnestdungeon · 2 years
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regarding that ask about Dismas and candlemaking... didn't RH remove candlemaking from his backstory in DD2 because it wasn't cool enough for their vision of him…?
I'm not sure, I gave up on DD2 for now, frankly (._.)
but if they rewrote his backstory, do you think it means it's a completely different reality from DD1 altogether? items and some story bits disapprove it, but... I dunno anymore, really, what even to make out of it all.
Hi hi! I wouldn’t go and say Red Hook outright erased the candlemaking from Dismas’s backstory– I feel more like they… forgot about it (lol)? Like, they just didn’t show us that part of his past, if that makes sense? Dismas could have still been an apprentice before he got involved in crime! Here, I’ve made a diagram to show what I mean:
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DD2 HWM backstory follows him from prison to the incident, the blue bits are things that never once showed in DD1 backstory (the distance between the dots do not represent time length).
Personally, I feel like the whole rat-eating thing weakens the incident– as in, he accepted this one last job cause he was desperate and hungry, he needed the money, what choice did he even have? It was way more tragic to think of the incident as him being overconfident in his robbery skills after years on the road (“I never miss” and all that). He *could* have been a humble candlemaker instead but nope, he chose the life of crime, he caused the death of an innocent mom and kid out of a hunger for gold and thrill. This Dismas badly needs redemption. DD2 HWM? Not as much.
But yeah, to answer your question about whether DD2 is an entirely different reality from DD1, I do like to believe it’s some sort of branching alternate universe (mostly to cope with the fact I dislike DD2 Dismas) but it’s hard to say as of now, we don’t have the full story out yet. There are some elements in DD2 that seem to point towards a connection to DD1 universe, but the nature of this connection is unclear: is DD2 set directly in the future of DD1 events, facing the aftermath of defeating the HoD (or failing to defeat it)? Is it an alternate timeline where we don’t get stuck in DD1 looped ending, as in, something broke the loop? Or is it something else entirely? We just don’t know, we might never know! I’m sure it will be easier to draw some theories once all the acts are out though.
For now, all we can do is compile the nods towards DD1 lore found in DD2! I haven’t played DD2 in a long time, so I might be missing some, but here are the ones I can remember:
RETURNING NPCS
Just like with some heroes, there are a few familiar NPCs back from the first game! Half of them didn’t seem to change or age much (save for a new sick arm scar), but the Nomad got a silver lock and the Caretaker/Hoarder went totally gray. Maybe this means DD2 is set in a timeline posterior to DD1 events, maybe it means nothing.
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About the Hoarder, the Highwayman is the only one who seems to recognize him somehow. Maybe due to the fact we always start each DD1 save with the Caretaker bringing Dismas and Reynauld to the Hamlet? Is this some sort of memory from another life? When leaving the Hoarder node, the HWM might say this bark: "I swear I've seen him before someplace..."
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To give us more to think about, the Academic (DD2’s narrator) has this to say about him: "His attention is unfocused, as though he is in two places at once."
No idea if this means something or if it’s just a meta nod towards DD1 (probably the latter). It’s curious to me the Hoarder seems to be carrying some heirlooms, he clearly has a bust and a portrait in his pack. Is he clinging to what remains of the Hamlet? 
ANCESTOR’S PORTRAIT
Speaking of portraits, there’s actually an Ancestor’s Portrait in DD2! It can be randomly found in the Academic’s Study, it’s named as ‘unsettling portrait’ in the files, and the Academic line about it is so interesting: “A handsome rendering of that devilish degenerate who so eagerly welcomed us to his table.”
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Again, I haven’t been playing DD2 at all (I haven’t even reached the second act boss), so I don’t know much lore wise to say if the Ancestor holds any significance to DD2 events. All I know is that the Academic and the Protégé (the player) held a common interest in the occult, and their studies brought them to many places over the world– apparently the Ancestor’s table was one of them! I wonder what was in for the Ancestor in hosting for those two?
THE SLUICE
The last thing that comes to mind that seems to connect DD2 to DD1 events is the Sluice, an unfinished DD2 region that brings back the Pigmen we typically find in DD1 warrens. One of the enemies is even named Wilbur, just like the Swine Prince’s little minion-- though DD2 Wilbur is way bigger, like a grown up version of it. When choosing to go to the Sluice, the Academic mentions this:
"The swine were first reported by denizens of a small hamlet nestled on the western coast."
Many people take this line as hard evidence that DD2 *is* in the same universe as DD1, but again, it’s so hard to tell. I still like the branching alternate universe better, as in, maybe DD2 is set in a universe where there was no heir to receive the letter. There was no Dismas and Reynauld at the Old Road, there was nobody to fight the corruption on the Estate. Maybe that’s when the Pigmen spilled out of the Warrens, they grew and reproduced unchecked! The NPCs flee from the doomed Hamlet, the darkness spreads and it all eventually leads to DD2 events. Can you even call this the same universe as DD1 if there’s no Heir (player)?
In the event of this being an alternate universe, there’s nothing stopping us from imagining other events happened differently in here as well, such as Dismas’s backstory (all of this just for that lol). But oh well, I guess we’ll find out more once the game launches!
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kitkatt0430 · 3 months
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Six (Or More) Sentence Sunday!!!! Remembered to do this before getting caught up doing other stuff today.
“It’s a timeline based off what I remember strongest for the through-line life that would have made it to the version of the multi-verse crises that led to this multi-verse rebooting into the next,” Barry said. “There were a lot of timelines to sort through and reject in my memories. Still an ongoing project, getting my closet in order.” Eobard rolled his eyes. Of all the inane things to turn into his mind palace… an infinitely large closet. “Next up on the ‘who’s that criminal meta’ game, should be Danton Black. He’s going to be gunning for Simon Stagg. The way this timeline would have played out if I hadn’t gotten my head crammed full of future events? I’d have stopped him, barely, but Danton commits suicide rather than let me stop him from falling out of what should have been shatterproof windows. A gunshot won’t break that glass but a handful of determined clones can? Someone committed fraud with that install,” Barry rambled and then shook his head. “Sorry. I’m a bit talky today. Anyway. You killed Stagg anyway in that timeline. I’ve never been sure why, but no great loss there. Met enough alternate versions of him that for a half decent reason I’d happily drop him off the nearest cliff and call it a hiking accident.”
No one likes Simon Stagg. Especially not 'brain full of infinite realities' Barry Allen.
This scene is from the first part of the tentatively named fic 'Networking' for the Timeless Nonsense series. Barry was getting a little more work in on sorting out the timelines and plotting his next moves when Eobard dropped in to see how it's progressing. This fic will contain Barry heading over to Starling to drop in on Oliver, Felicity, and Dig. But also... Eobard winds up visiting someone he hasn't seen since before the accelerator explosion after learning this person is essentially on Barry's hit list for easier timeline management. He doesn't realize he's having a bit of an ethics crisis, but Eobard is totally having a bit of an ethics crisis. (Don't worry, it's not Simon Stagg. He's gonna die in the fic after this one and no one is gonna feel sorry about it.)
I also finally made some progress on The Story of HR Wells as a sort of back and forth between past and present that'll end either with Cynthia arriving on Earth-1 of HR lending Cisco the original copy of his World War M historical accounting. It's part of Coffee, Drumsticks, and Social Revolutions and I'm doing some world building in here that'll mean I need to go back and do a bit of editing on the fics already posted. Mostly minor things - Earth-19 refers to it's doctorates a bit differently now and other stuff that really makes it feel a bit more like a close-but-not culture over there.
By then it’s time for lunch with Caitlin before the apartment hunt began. He keyed Caitlin into the transmogrifier so that she sees him, not the part Randolf and part HR blend that he was wearing for the rest of the world. They chat about nothing in particular really, but HR can’t help but notice she’s hiding a second patch of cut-short hair with her barrettes today. Maybe it’s time to try the whole reaching out thing. Even if she doesn’t reciprocate, at least HR would have tried to help her. And she might still reach out in return down the line. He started with a mild complaint about his shoulder. “I’m glad I’ve got you along or I might just take the first apartment I see so I can put a mattress in it that won’t cause that nerve in my shoulder to pinch. Messes up my whole arm for the day when it happens. Or more than a day sometimes.” “Oh no,” Caitlin frowned, going into doctor mode. “You’re sure it’s just a pinched nerve?”
HR is trying to help Caitlin deal with what he still currently thinks is just PTSD problems, but it turns out the things he's about to tell her about his struggles with coping with the aftermath of brain damage from a war wound - in the first conversation they have here and a few subsequent ones - help her with her fears about how different her own thoughts become whenever her powers try to become active.
Obviously, what Caitlin's going through is quite different from HR did, but she's still struggling with her brain chemistry changing on her, altering the way she thinks and feels about everything. And HR understands how upsetting and frightening that is in a way no one else on Team Flash does.
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pageofheartdj · 1 year
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That sounds kind of like my experience with dissociation (depersonalization plus derealization at the same time, so a more total dissociation). Where things dont feel real and everything is fuzzy and it kind of feels like theres a distance between you and like,the reality of being alive and being a part of the world itself (if that makes sense?)
I'm unsure about the being swept away part,but it could be partially influenced by your brain or body being all "hey hey hey we shouldn't be so separated from ourself" maybe? An internal recognition that staying in that state would be unhealthy but falling into it anyways? I'm no psychologist!
Sometimes experiences with dissociation and mental health changes as people get older. Whether it's like brain chemicals settling more or just experience building the framework of "we have alternative methods of dealing with this now, we dont need to rely on just the one". Like how personalities can evolve from what it was when you're a kid!
When I'm dissociate now vs when I was a kid jts more soft now? As a kid it was a more "thrown into that state and everything else is just completely gone". Now it's more of a functional dissociation where I can still do some things but not all. Theres a delay between me and the world and I struggle to care about reacting because nothing about it is real, but I know that itll help future me if I at least do the bare minimum and push through.
I dont know if I explained it well or if that helps at all,but you arent alone!
Yes this is EXACTLY how it felt like. You know how kids play games and get very immersive in them but then stop playing and the world they pretended stop existing? Yeah that but with real life. When a 'toy'(me) falls out of the pretend game and fuck nothing is real?? My whole life was just a game?? And I am some kind of self insert for Bigger me??xD Like I said, a big doll house, the world outside of my home(doll house) isn't real and my house is 'real' only because I am in it right now and someone(Bigger me?) sits outside and just watches the Little me 'living' from the side. Man this got confusing xD
Hmm possibly. I was scared of not being real and I was 'outside' and it could have associated with death and I didn't want that xD
It is interesting that every time happened with my consent? Like that feeling teased me like a door, but it was on me to get close and open it. I could have shoo that feeling away but I indulged.
Hm interesting idea with coping mechanism and it was just my mind dealing with stuff by allowing me to walk away sort of? I don't remember how old I was(I barely remember anything from my past) but I had my grandma and grandpa dying so it could have been what my brain was dealing with. Also I was generally a depressed kid/teen, so I often played with spite-death fantasies xD
I wonder if now me just spacing out counts as a soft version?xD
Anyway thanks for explaining!! It helped in figuring it out!:)
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