#its like the sure grandma lets get you to bed meme

[ugartecoco]

captain bruno to the rescue

[luimagines]

Hi! I have a request, but first i wanna say your writing is absolutely amazing! The length + amount of time you put into these prompts is insanely good. Now! Onto the request, how would the boys react to a reader from a more modern era? Maybe a more modernized hyrule or our current point in time?

Masterlist

Thank you so much for the compliment! I'm happy to see the response even if this blog is still relatively new.

I hope I do your prompt justice.

I probably could have done a headcanon list but I was hit with inspiration.

I also might have given Reader some backstory.

Scenario below the cut! It’s long, take caution.

It was a cool night, but you didn't mind. Your bed was warm, the WiFi was fast and even if it was three AM on a school night, you managed to keep yourself giggling with cat videos and blursed memes until the words and colors merged.

A night well spent.

But it led to questionable decisions.

Even if the shredded cheese in the fridge was beginning to seem a more and more enticing snack, your body was tempted to succumb to slumber.

Until a large purple light encompassed the entirety of your window.

Something was in your backyard.

Aliens. Your tired brain supplies and you sprint to the glass and push away the curtains. Is this it? Is this where I'm kidnapped and never seen or heard from again?

You pull out your phone and open up the camera.

"Pics or it didn't happen." You remind yourself and snap a few before showing your face.

What you see isn't what you're expecting. Instead of a flying saucer in the sky beaming down a laser or a weird pear shaped space craft on top of the grass, there's a single panel of glowing light, swirling with black accents that creeps in a circular motion.

"Cheese and crackers...." You gasp and begin to blatantly stare at it with no regard to whether something may be coming out of it.

You wait and nothing happens.

You wait some more and nothing happens.

You spend an hour watching this portal that has appeared out of nowhere, waiting for something to happen, willing for something to happen. But you get nothing.

The unknown stares right back at you, unblinking and unchanged.

Go through it. A voice tells you. What if there's something on the other side?

"I'm going to die." You gulp and take a deep breath.

Who else gets a chance like this? The voice talks again. This could be a grand step towards a more modern society. A whole new world could be on the other side, waiting, reaching out, calling to humanity!

You think you a see a shadow move behind the portal and out of sight but it’s gone before you can even process it.

"Should I call the police?" You step away from the window, ignoring the thoughts, the voice- you're too tired to know if it's your own any more. What's the plan? How does one go about something like this?

Where’s your sense of adventure? Pack a bag and go! What if it goes away?

That last thought seems to get through to your tired brain and for a reason beyond your understanding, it latches onto it.

Now you’re excited.

You run to the closet and take out your old backpack. It used to be for school but it was fancier since it was the only one you could get. The bag had a replaceable water bag with a plastic straw connected through the back of it and the straps have just worn down enough to where they’re actually comfortable. It doubled as a hiking backpack and came with its own insulated lunch box that clasped on the back of it.

It’ll finally serve its purpose.

You quickly roll up your favorite blanket and strap it in tightly beneath the lunch box. You’re quick to take out two extra outfits and pack them as well as change out of your pajamas.

Ok. What would you need? You don’t know where you’d be going so this has to a catch all kind of deal.

You pack away your swiss army knife first for good measure. A solar powered charger for your phone and an extra pair of socks follow suit even after you’ve picked out the extra clothes.

You take out the water bag and run to fill it all the way to max capacity as you think of any other necessities.

You’d need food. You have a small jar of peanut butter and granola bars that can fit in the lunch box. You can bring your extra water bottle and put in the side pockets of the backpack, and maybe bring some of those powered flavor packets your brother loves so much. You think he has lemonade and some green tea ones.

Those would be great. He won’t mind, hopefully.

You let the bag overfill momentarily before running back to shove it in your bag. with the lid screwed tight.

Next you run to the kitchen, grabbing the first things that you thought of already and begin to look around for more.

You grab an unopened pack of beef jerky, a bag of veggie sticks and a half eaten bag of dried mangos.

During your search you grab the water bottle and fill that too.

You return to your room with your bounty and begin to carefully put everything in the box. With some more deliberation, you run back to the kitchen and make yourself a quick sandwich, eat it, make another one and pack that as well.

You look out side the window and the portal is still there.

The sun is beginning to rise now so you’re trying to go as fast as you can, unless you want to neighbors to think something is going on.

Even if it is.

You’re about to leave but in a stroke of brilliance, you run to pack sunscreen and bug spray as well. You see a small first aid pack that was bought recently for when you would take your family vacation but you reason that it might one of the most important things you’d have if you got hurt.

Into the bag it goes.

You grab your hoodie before you leave the door, wrap it around your waist and pocket your phone, your headphones and your wallet.

You feel immediately under packed when you step outside and see the portal up close.

It’s weirdly triangle shaped, you think and step closer.

You reach your hand out and try to touch it. It feels as if you put your hand through a humidifier but it’s not wet. It’s misty and cold but not necessarily unpleasant.

An idea hits you right before you take your first step through.

You pull up one of the earlier photo’s you took and send it to your friend’s group chat. It showed up in my backyard. I decided to make a bad late night decision and I’m going through. If you never hear from me again, I want you all to fight over my electronics. Winner takes all. Godspeed.

And you step through.

You had first assumed that it would merely take you tot he other side but very quickly realize that you have to walk through it.

The first part still had a little light but with time, it got darker. So dark that you couldn’t even see your hand in front of your face.

You kept walking.

As fast as the light disappeared, it came back and you stepped into the light of an open field, right in front of one, two, three, four, nine males that had appeared to be traveling towards you or rather, towards the portal.

The portal disappears in the process.

“Oh so we didn’t have to go through it! We had to gain another member!” One of them yells. “Would have been nice to know before we packed everything up!”

“Ho boy, where am I?” You ask and tighten your grip on your backpack. Why didn’t I bring a weapon?

They all had long tunics and swords on their backs. Old fashioned leather boots and hand bracers were the norm in this group and you realized very quickly that your jeans and t-shirt had wildly missed the memo.

“Dang, I didn’t think I’d walk into a LARP group. Sorry about that.” You sheepishly smile. “I had no idea where the portal was going to take me. But if you would be so kind-”

“Wait, what’s LARP?” One of them speaks up. He was a dirty blond and somewhere in the middle of the group height wise. He wore a white cape like thing with blue designs on the back but you didn’t recognize the symbol.

“Live Action Role Play?” You tilt your head. “It’s why you’re all dressed like that? Right?”

“This is just our clothes.” What appears to be the youngest bounces up to you. “What are you wearing?”

“First I could grab in my closet.” You admit and look down on it. It’s one of your comfiest shirts and best looking pants. You’re a little proud of yourself for finding those in the dark.

“Weird.”

“We’re heroes. We’re all named Link.” Cape guy speaks up again. “Is it safe to assume that you’re in the same boat?”

“Heroes?” Your eyebrows furrow together. “I’m not a hero and my name’s not Link.”

You’re quick to tell them your name and you watch as the confusion covers their faces. “My brother’s name is Link though if that helps anything.”

“Oh we needed him!” The youngest groans and it instantly irks you.

“What would you need with a five year old?” You deadpan and cross your arms. 

The information stuns the group.

“The portal showed up in the middle of the night and I’m the one that went through it. I’m pretty sure I was the only awake to even see it. Are you telling me that it was for my little brother?” You’d be lying if you said that you weren’t a little pissed. “My baby brother was supposed to go through it? He was asleep! He’s five. What kind of logic is that?!”

“Well...” The biggest and oldest of them runs a hand over his face. You think he has some cool tattoos and sick scar going across his eye but he looks about as angry as you feel, so you don’t say anything. “It appears the gods truly do not care for the hero’s maturity, only his existence.”

“Ok...What’s with all this hero talk?” You bite back. “What did... Where am I?”

“Hyrule.” The second with cool face tattoos speaks up. He’s got a large fur pelt around his shoulders and you have to tighten your grip against your backpack again to keep from reaching out to touch it.

Even so you feel yourself deadpan even more. “Hyrule? Like the ancient empire? The one that collapsed more than two thousand years ago? That Hyrule?”

You’re inclined to not believe them and write all of them off as crazy... but you also walked through a portal. And your grandma did say that magic existed in the strangest forms.

They all share looks of concern and some begin to murmur quietly amongst themselves but you’re too far gone to even notice.

“Did I time travel?” The idea hits you like a bus and you feel your eyes widen as you stare beyond the group. You quickly take our your phone and unlock it.

No signal.

“Is that a type of Sheikah slate?” Someone asks you.

“I don’t know what that is.” You reply automatically. “Wait, hold on, what year is it?”

“Why don’t you tell us what year you’re from and we can start from there?” The darkest brunette of the group speaks up.

“202x PC” You say robotically, not really processing the world around you anymore.

“That’s...” The blond with a long blue scarf speaks up with a slight hiss. “...Beyond any of our timelines. You see, we all come from different worlds and eras of Hyrule’s history.”

“I don’t think you’re the farthest down anymore, Wild.”

“This would then make them my successor, right?”

“It would make their brother your successor.” Someone amends. “I think they just jumped in his place.”

“Leave my brother alone.” You snap back into the present, pocketing your [hone again. “Ok, you know what, screw it. I don’t know what you’d want my brother for but I’m here now. I’d gladly take his place if it means he gets to stay home!”

“Hey.” A boy with pink hair stalks up to you looking a little more serious than you’d like.

“Nice hair dude, way to defy the gender norms.” You smirk a little before genuinely grinning, hoping to quell the tension. “What product do you use? It looks like Artic Fox but not every place sells their brand.”

“...I have no idea what you’re talking about but what happened to Ganon in your world? How have you been handling it?” He snaps and places his hands on his hips.

“Ganon? Like my old principle? That’s a name I haven’t heard in forever.” You’re confused again. “Last I heard he joined the police force only to be reassigned out of state. I don’t know what’s happening with him. Kinda hope he gets fired though. He’s not a bad guy but he’s not someone you’d want in that kind of position of power, you know.”

“Police force?”

You blinked and look them all over. They look very medieval. “Oh... You don’t have that...”

You begin to think about your history lessons and what they might be familiar with if they’re telling the truth about being from Hyrule.

“Ya’ll got knights?”

Many, almost all of them nod, a few with face of despair already on them before you finish speaking.

“It’s kind of like that. Mixed with a towns guard position... kinda. They enforce laws... at least they’re supposed to but the whole system is flawed and racist and really needs to be dismantled for the abuse of power that they have-”

“Abuse? Of power?” You have their attention again.

“It’s stupid and it won’t really make any sense if I try to explain because I doubt you have anything similar but it’s basically a group of people given the right to treat the public in anyway they like for their own benefit because they have no one telling them that they can’t.” You groan and slowly begin to feel your lack of sleep catch up to you. 

You slowly reach to behind you and sit down on the dirt, looking at all of them. “Mr. Dragmire wasn’t like...Demise or anything but he was a huge jerk. No one liked him. He liked me though. I remember that. I was the envy of the whole school because I somehow got on his good side while everyone else wants to strangle him. I think he was transferred for some misdemeanor or something like that... like he might have been throwing hands with someone he wasn’t supposed to. I never heard all the details. I didn’t really care for it when it happened either. I’m pretty sure he lost that fight though. The dude looked like a blast of wind could have knocked him over let alone someone’s knuckle sandwich.”

“I would love to hear more about this.” The youngest sits next to you with a large grin on his face. His eyes are bright and his body language reminds you of your cousin Zelda. You instantly think they’d get along like a house on fire. “What are your monsters like?”

“Monsters?” You tilt your head. “Be a little more specific bud, it depends on where you’re from.”

“You have that many?!”

“It depends on if you believe they’re real or not.”

“Speaking of monsters, can you fight?” The shortest walks up to you. You like that his tunic is stitched up with multiple colors and designs. It gives it personality, you think. “Do you have a weapon you’re more comfortable with?”

The question throws you off your rhythm and you don’t fight your wince. “What would happen if I say that I do not, in fact, have any sort of weapon on me?”

“I wouldn’t believe you.” Pink guy speaks up again. “That pack is huge, there has to be something in there.”

“It’s food, water and extra clothes my guy.” You lean back against said backpack since it won’t let you lay down with it still on. “Not a lot of space for anything else. I’m pretty good at hand to hand combat though. Karate’s a good way to fight out stress.” 

“Your bag’s not magic?”

“Why the hell would it be magic? ...Are you trying to tell me magic actually exists?” You raise an eyebrow as your eyes begin to close against your will. “I know my grandma said it does but I thought she meant like fairies and shadow demons.. and bigfoot. Can’t forget him, he’s the real MVP... You know...Children’s bedtime stories and stuff like that, it’s not real. But like magic magic? Magic items and the like? Find me Tinkerbell and I’ll show you Neverland, that’s what I say.”

“Are you serious?”

“Second star to the right, straight on till morning.” You respond.

There’s a moment of silence as the group in front of you processes your words. It’s hard to tell their reaction since you’re not looking at them but you no longer have the energy to do anything else.

“Are you falling asleep right now?” It’s the one they called Wild.

“I...” You try to open your eyes. They don’t budge. “I haven’t slept in nearly 20 hours... I think. I might have past 24 hours a while ago actually. Portal showed up at like four in the morning... I had to get up at six and I didn’t sleep at all before then.”

More silence.

“Great another one.” Someone scoffs.

You snort.

“Why did we pack up camp again?”

“No one kill me.” You say right before you lose consciousness. “Please and thank you.”

“They’re doomed.”

“Have some faith Vet. They stepped in for their little brother. That has to mean something?”

“They’re in for a rude awakening, and that’s all I have to say about it.”

[owlsoldwritingcorner]

The Ghost (Part 2)

Pairing :Wrench x Reader

AO3 Link

Summary:

“So. You a big fan of hackers?”

“I guess you can say that. ” You may not be able to make a coherent string of codes but you know that vague code speak means: He’s in the group.

Note: 

Here's the look reader has in this chapter!

(The helmet and biker suit is the main canonical look reader has cuz it's important to the fic, underneath you can insert your own look)

Chapter 2: Fresh Air and Graffiti

You woke up to the smell of your grandmother’s cooking, checking your phone revealed it was 8 in the damn morning. God you weren’t ready for the strong smells so early in the morning. Looks like Ripley wasn’t either considering she was already away and giving you her big ole puppy eyes that just scream “Walk time? Walk time!”.

Such a sweetie.

“Let’s get you some breakfast first before we can think of any w-a-l-k-i-e-s, alrighty?” Oh gosh, she gave you a little nod and a gentle ruff, you’re gonna get killed by the cuteness of a pup. Not by any of those burly men with guns that you’re so used to on the job, and obviously, you welcome this kind of death with open arms.

Getting up, you cleaned yourself up from the rest of your grogginess and went to the kitchen to fill up Ripley’s food bowl but not before taking a puff of your daily asthma medicine.

Gah… The smell of dried fish was getting more and more prominent now. The dried fish your grandma makes for the conge tastes so good but god it smells like the ocean flooded the house and dried up.

“Mom! Did you really have to make that fish so early in the morning?” Looks like your aunt was up and at ‘em too now. Strong smells always did make her grumpier.

“ It takes so long to fully seep and cook this fish so I should just cook it now! ” Your aunt looked as if she was going to pop a blood vessel already.

“Mom. Now the whole house smells like fish. You could have made it tomorrow or even later today!” You just sighed as your aunt and grandma argued, you really didn’t want a headache so early in the morning…

Ripley was done eating her breakfast so it was time to go for some walkies. Maybe Ripley will make some friends in this neighborhood? You brought out some body spray for yourself to put on once you’re out of the house, your emergency inhaler, then finally you put the pit-bull on her leash. Hopefully a walk around will ease your headache a bit.

So far so good.

It was sunny and surprisingly nice out, your little pup was letting out some energy and you got some fresh air. You finally arrived at a small dog park, certainly not the park Clara told you about. That hideout is about 20 more minutes away from where you’re currently at.

You sat at one of the benches to give your feet some rest, your little pit-bull laid down next to you on the bench, her head on your lap and wanting you to pet her as you two relaxed. You smiled before slowly starting to go into a daze, your eyelids drooped a bit from the nice temperature and your little friend snored away on your lap before your mind finally started to dream away as you stared into space.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Run.

You needed to run.

You have to get out of here.

Opaque silhouettes slithered after you, their limbs contorting as they ran on all fours, letting out whaling cries as if trying to coax you into stopping. Its grotesque body leaving mucus in its wake.

But it didn’t work.

It only made you run faster.

Faster and faster until--

You choked.

The air was knocked out of you as one of the silhouette’s slimy, long arms grabbed one of your legs causing you to fall forward. You tried to crawl away, your nails scratching the concrete below to no avail. You looked behind you to see the mass of disgusting limbs catching up to you, still holding onto your captive leg.

As you continue to try to get away from the creature, you see another silhouette step in front of you and kneel down, and outstretched as if saying “Here. Let me help you up”. This one was different from the ones trying to chase you, they weren’t contorted or slimy nor did they have any extra limbs on their body.

You were so close to reaching for that gentle hand when--

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Excuse me?” You woke up from your daydream by that new voice trying to get your attention. Looking up, you see a man (probably just a couple years older than you) wearing dark lensed glasses and had a light moustache and a soul patch. You also noted the shirt he wore.

Dedsec.

You wanted to snort. The Chicago branch would instantly kick that person out for wearing something so blatant. They’d hate seeing their name with a face.

“Hey, uh, sorry for intruding, I just wanted to pet your dog. Don’t really see many Pitbulls in this neighborhood.” You raised an eyebrow, most people would be terrified of Ripley and cross the street from you two (Granted, she is a big dog with large scars and cropped ears, you can’t fully blame them for being intimidated.) But you gave the man a little nod, he seemed nice enough.

“Sure, she’d love the attention.” The man immediately went to work, giving Ripley little scratches behind her ears, cooing as she gave him some kisses.

“What’s her name?”

“Ripley.”

“As in Ellen Louise Ripley ?”

“Yep. They’re both super tough, so, I just named her accordingly.” You mumbled, god it’s been so long since you had social interaction with a new human. The man just chuckled.

“I can tell, she definitely looks like she been through some stuff.”

You let out a little hum, “She was rescued from one of those dog fighting rings.” He nodded.

“Poor girl. Looks like she’s in better hands now though.” You chuckled as you scratched behind Ripley’s cropped ears, your eyes wandered back to the man’s Dedsec shirt. Honestly you can’t tell if he’s just a big fan or actually part of the group.

“So. You a big fan of hackers?”

“I guess you can say that. You into what Dedsec has to say?” You may not be able to make a coherent string of codes but you know that vague code speak means: He’s in the group.

“They have some good points. Highlighting vulnerabilities and weaknesses in the CTOS systems, showcasing how Blume truly acts. It’s like embarrassing the prom king on stage, I’m all for that.” The man raised his eyebrows and chuckled.

“You seem to have your share of Dedsec knowledge.”

“I’m from Chicago, they’re a pretty big deal there too. Dunno about here.”

“That explains it. Heard they released some pretty big blackmail over there.” You gave the man a nonchalant hum. Dedsec’s blackmail, huh? Aiden did most of the work though…

“I heard that too.”

Checking the time it was already almost 12 pm, that fuckin online college got you on a damn leash. Plus, you were getting pretty hungry, you did skip out on breakfast in favor of feeding Ripley.

“Well, I need to be on my way now. Hope you have a nice day.”

“Oh, you too. I’m Marcus by the way. I have a feeling I might see you again.” Well that sounds only mildly ominous, but, certainly not the worst you’ve heard. The taller man reached out his hand for a handshake, to which you reluctantly shook and gave Marcus your name.

“It was nice meeting you, Marcus.”

You nudged Ripley a bit to let her know you two were heading home now only for her to whine a bit but obliging. Yeah, you don’t wanna smell like fish again but… You really needed to at least finish the week’s assignments. You gave Marcus a final goodbye wave as you walked home with your dog by your side.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You flopped onto your bed in defeat.

Why the fuck did this online school have to give you so much work every week? Well, you managed to do a few weeks worth of work and should be free earlier for Dedsec work.

Speaking of, it’s almost time to meet your new “coworkers”. It's time to suit up.

Donning your binder, biker’s helmet and suit, you made sure to test out the helmet’s voice modulator and check for any kinks. Afterwards, it was time for some real clothes! The skin tight biker suit feels pretty breezy despite you not being actually naked. At least the binder makes you look like a super buff guy, not to mention the boots give you some extra height. You really need those 3 extra inches…

Let’s see…

Pastel week? Or maybe something vintage? Or perhaps some fall colors would be nice! Sweaters always feel nice. But, it has been a while since you’ve done a punk week…

Well! It’s been decided!

Finally, you were ready for work. Giving Ripley a final forehead kiss and head pat, you headed for your destination.

Weird that a notorious hacker group put one of their hideouts in a nerdy tabletop shop. Then again, it doesn’t raise a lot of suspicion on the outside. Looking around, you see a bunch of people rolling their 20 sided dice on the tables. You always did want to play Dungeons and Dragons, never had the time to read up on it though. You walked towards the back, ignoring any wandering eyes. But no one really spoke up against you being there, they looked too scared to even try if they actually wanted to.

Aha. There was the entrance. You pushed in the pass-code Clara gave you and viola! You’re in. You took in the appearance of the entrance down the hackerspace. The graffiti is quite a look. Most of the Dedsec graffiti back home were mostly on CTOS ads or other signposts, this is a stark contrast from those dark hacker rooms in Chicago. But, you certainly didn’t mind it. Actually heading into the space itself revealed it looked more like a hacker’s man cave or hangout spot than a big name hacker group meet up room. Dedsec’s name was graffitied around every inch of the room, the table in the middle was filled with snacks, beers, and some computer equipment, and there were some really old rage comics memes near the 3d printer area.

Looks like you’re the first person here though. You sat at the sofa area, crossing your legs. God, the spaces back home needs a sofa like this instead of those rackety pull out chairs. Just as you were getting used to the appearance of… Everything. The sound of the sliding door and footsteps catches your ears. Guess it was introduction time.

Turning around and facing the first person you got to the space first, you were greeted with a familiar face.

“You guys should have seen Mr. Weak Chin’s face in perso--” The man locked eyes with you as you gave him a little wave.

Marcus. Your instincts had always been pretty on point.

“Who are you and what are you doing here?” His hand was hidden behind him, probably reaching for a weapon to prepare himself from any surprise attacks. You only raise your hands to tell him you don’t mean any harm. Just as you were going to let him know why you’re here, the rest of the crew came down. Marcus wasn’t the only familiar face around here.

Your hidden eyes gazed into familiar digital Xs.

[talesoftxt]

TXT Hogwarts AU

So this is my first time publicly sharing my writings and I'm really nervous and also kind of excited. Please bear with me, English isn't my first language however I do try to do my best in my works. Anywhos here's my first post I hope you guy enjoy!

Yeonjun

•Slytherin

•pureblood

•was shunned his whole life due to his parents being deatheaters in the second wizarding war

•raised by his grandmother who he loves to pieces

•don't tell anyone but grandma choi actually raised him muggle style so he's very knowledgable when it comes to them

•his one and only friend is soobin, that is of course before he met the three other boys

•the sorting hat barely even touched his head before it announced "slytherin"

•worked his way up until he became what he is today

•his goal is to erase the stigma of slytherins being evil

•intimidates everyone with his sharp eyes and blank face but don't be fooled, he's as extra and wild as the others

•once dared himself to wrestle with the black lake's giant squid

•always aims to be the best at everything, probably to the point of overworking himself

•as a first year flying had come naturally to him and easily became his favourite subject but was soon replaced by defence against the dark arts

•the boy is a quick thinker and could disarm his opponent in a matter of seconds, though he is good at casting other spells he opts for a defensive style of duelling

•ever since he was young he dreamt of being an auror

•the team captain of slytherin's quidditch team, his swiftness and agility earned him the title "best chaser"

•dubbed as "slytherin's prince" his housemates respect and look up to him

•don't cross him.just don't.

•very cautious when it comes to picking his friends and is very protective of soobin because he's just too damn precious

•gets along with kai really well because theyre both crackheads and kai is too cute not to like

•isn't one to share his feelings but because of his friends he's getting more and more open

•his greatest fear is becoming evil and hurting his friends

•he's really just a tiny bean who loves his friends and would do anything for them

Soobin

•pureblood

•Ravenclaw

•coming from a very traditional pureblood family, he doesn't really understand muggle lifestyle

•a straight A student prefect and athlete, he's the epitome of model student

•doesn't like to break the rules but somehow always finds himself staying up with taehyun or getting dragged to the dark forest by kai

•takes away points by decimals just because he thinks its funny

•can get pretty scary when someone questions his authority

•"out of bed past curfew? 4.23 points from gryffindor" "is that even allowed??"

•he's a responsible prefect and shuts everyone up with one stern look

•number one on the school's boyfriend material list (because c'mon he's like perfect)

•a perfect gentleman who's ready to help with a dimpled smile on his face

•takes muggle studies because he likes muggles and wants to know about them more

•still doesn't know what the function of a rubber duck is

•can cook up a potion even without the help of a guide and can recognize a herb by it's texture alone

•his favourite subjects are potions and herbology

•probably because the two are kind of connected in a way

•literally has a journal where he writes down everything he's learned about muggles

•nearly cried when he received a toaster from taehyun as a gift because he's always wanted one for his bread

•wants to be a healer in the future

•his future career also helps because all his friends can't go a day without injuring themselves

•keeper soobin (you gets?because the boy is such a keeper?hehehehe)

•his tall stature and quick reflexes helps him block quaffles from the opposite team

•recognizes hueningkai as his number one cheerer and never fails to wink at him before the start of every game

•always makes sure taehyun gets enough sleep, beomgyu and kai stay out of trouble and keeps yeonjun from overworking himself

•they always make sure to bring him back little muggle trinkets after they come back from the holidays

•the boys are just really thankful for soobin existance and love him so much

•choi soobin is a lovable and amazing bunny (that's the tea sis)

Beomgyu

•gryffindor

•half-blood

•gets himself into pretty stupid situations just bc he's too damn heroic

•always stirs up trouble but somehow charms himself out of it

•he's like,really charming

•made mcgonagall blush that one time

•he's absolutely cunning,his ability to hide his true intentions behind an angelic smile scares the crap out of the boys

•just don't mess with his friends

•bc of this the sorting hat actually took longer to sort him than usual wondering whether it should put him in slytherin or gryffindor, he had almost been a hatstall but after a silent debate between the two beomgyu had chosen gryffindor bc they had and i quote 'pretty colours'

•had to be physically restrained by soobin and yeonjun after he tried to fight a student who had called taehyun a "mudblood"

•Charms and transfiguration are his areas of expertise

•favourite spell is "accio" and practically uses it for everything

•"accio yeonjun hyung's clothes "beomgyu!"

•"accio taehyun's love of his life" "bold of you to assume i have any I-" "accio taehyun's books" "you little shi-"

•takes muggle studies just for the hell of it and because it's easy

•gryffindor's seeker,this boy could spot a snitch from miles away

•has his own fanclub with members from all four houses

•yes that's how charming he is

•no one really knows how but beomgyu always manages to enter all three other houses' common rooms

•his favourite hang out place would probably be ravenclaw's common room

•annoying taehyun is this guy's favourite past time, he just finds it cute when the younger glares at him

•if he's not annoying taehyun he's probably off pulling pranks and causing trouble all around the castle

•is currently grooming kai to become a prankster like him, he just has to figure out a way to stop the boy from being so goddamn loud everytime they prank someone

•in general he's a chaotic mess but everyone still loves him

Taehyun

•Ravenclaw

•muggleborn

•once something catches his eye he makes it a goal to learn everything about it

•no one really knows what to expect with taehyun probably bc he was so quiet and introverted

•as he gets used to life in the magical world he starts to become more confident and bold

•"why do we still use quills when ballpens literally exists?''

•''are you serious?a letter?kai you have a phone use it''

•his wisdom and good advices remind people why he's in ravenclaw

•his two favourite subjects are transfiguration and history of magic

•transfigured soobin into a bunny once at kai's request (well probably just to shut him up)

•history nerd and draco malfoy enthusiast

•''he was only a child!''

•doesn't even bother to answer the riddles' properly

•"where do vanished objects go?" "somewhere other than where they were vanished from,duh."

•usually found in the common room late at night cramming homeworks he's been putting on hold bc he found something much more interesting to do

•legend says prefect soobin always stays up with him (no one knows if its true or not no one has ever tried to find out in fear of facing choi soobin's wrath if he finds them out of bed)

•an excellent beater, taehyun's one of the best in their team even at such a young age

•rumours are he's one of the candidates for next team captain

•is soobin's source of muggle knowledge, probably bc kai only teaches them memes and popular vines and beomgyu just cant be bothered with

•claims he loses braincells every time kai opens his mouth but deep down he loves the boy like his brother

•looks up to his yeonjun and soobin hyungs

•unbothered king 24/7

Kai

•hufflepuff

• the boy literally dragged taehyun with him and introduced himself to nearly everyone during the train ride

•half-blood

•never fails to say "me dad's a muggle; mam's a witch,bitofanastyshockforhim

whenhefoundout" every time he introduces himself

•and i mean EVERY.SINGLE.TIME

•excels in care of magical creatures (probably bc every single creature falls in love with the boy on sight) and almost always accompanies hagrid to the dark forest

•let's be real ya'll the dark forest probably isn't so dark anymore with the amount of sunshine kai emits

•nearly gave soobin a heart attack when he had dragged the elder into the dark forest

•at the age of 13 the dark forest was just a forest to kai, "wild centaurs?bitch please i braid baby centaurs hair on saturdays"

•idolizes newt scamander and wants to be a magizoologist because he wants to change people's minds about magical creatures and show them how beautiful and precious they actually are

•'pet a dragon's belly' is listed number 1 in his bucket list

• 'ohmygod hueningkai don't you even dare try to rock that mandrake' 'but hyun its so cute!it looks like an ugly baby!'

•takes a liking for divination and unlike others actually appreciates and pays attention in class

•probably because of his close relationship with the forest's centaurs who also use divination in their day to day lives

•is a skilled flyer and was invited to try out for his house's quidditch team but turned it down

•he prefers to cheer for people rather than getting cheered on

•people don't really know who he cheers for most of the time bc he's like present in every game

•mysteriously gets louder and more energetic when ravenclaw plays most people think it's bc his bestfriend taehyun is playing but taehyun knows the truth

•"you did great hyun!" "i literally saw you stare at soobin hyung's ass the entire game"

•no one can hate this guy,it’s physically impossible

•even the meanest kids don’t pick on him,he’s THAT lovable

Anyways that all for today! That's my opinion on the txt's hogwarts houses,don't be shy and tell me what you think! See you later guys!

[diiagnose]

“the wedding singer” musical sentence meme: act one

not  the  film  !   trigger  warnings  for  alcohol  ,   sexual  content  ,   suicidal  ideation  ,   &  mentions  of  drugs  !   change  pronouns  as  needed  !      ACT  TWO  .

IT’S  YOUR  WEDDING  DAY  .

❛    i  wrote  a  song  six  years  ago  .    ❜ ❛    the  band  &  i  are  in  demand  .    ❜ ❛    i  can  guarantee  that  love  will  find  you  .    ❜ ❛    when  it’s  your  wedding  day  ,   all  the  problems  melt  away  .    ❜ ❛    love  is  what  i  do  .    ❜ ❛    we’re  like  a  finely  tuned  machine  .    ❜ ❛    he’ll  invite  me  over  for  christmas  eve  .    ❜ ❛    bang  your  head  !    ❜ ❛    i’ll  dance  your  mom  all  around  the  room  .    ❜

SOMEDAY  .

❛    did  you  see  the  bride  ?    ❜ ❛    don’t  you  hate  her  ?    ❜ ❛    she’s  so  happy  !    ❜ ❛    the  lights  are  dim  ,   there’s  a  smoky  haze  .   ❜ ❛    it’s  a  moment  built  to  save  .    ❜ ❛    it’s  so  romantic  i  could  die  right  here  &  now  .    ❜ ❛    it’s  gonna  be  that  way  for  us  .    ❜ ❛    someday  when  it’s  me  ,   i’ll  know  our  love  was  meant  to  be  .    ❜ ❛    all  you’ll  need  is  me  &  all  i’ll  need  is  you  .    ❜ ❛    take  that  veil  off  !    ❜ ❛    i’m  so  jealous  i  could  cry  .    ❜ ❛    i  know  not  every  marriage  lasts  when  things  go  bad  .    ❜ ❛    soon  you’ll  take  my  hand  &  pledge  your  love  to  me  .    ❜ ❛    i’ll  just  get  married  vicariously  .    ❜

A  NOTE  FROM  LINDA  .

❛    i  think  we  need  some  space  .    ❜ ❛    smiley  face  !    ❜ ❛    i  woke  this  morning  ,   prepared  to  walk  on  air  .    ❜ ❛    i  realized  that  you  cramped  my  style  as  i  crimped  my  hair  .    ❜ ❛    you’re  just  not  that  same  person  .    ❜ ❛    you  sing  while  people  chew  !    ❜ ❛    you  live  in  your  grandma’s  basement  !    ❜ ❛    deep  down  you  weren’t  in  love  with  me  ,   you  were  just  in  love  with  love  .    ❜ ❛    it’s  best  we  end  this  before  we  start  .    ❜ ❛    the  ‘ i ‘  is  dotted  with  a  broken  heart  .    ❜

POP  !

❛    every  five  seconds  a  girl  gets  engaged  according  to  cosmo’s  latest  quiz  .    ❜ ❛    it’s  a  challenge  that  every  woman  faces  .    ❜ ❛    let’s  make  sure  that  we’ve  covered  our  bases  .    ❜ ❛    you’ve  lived  off  tab  &  lean  cuisine  .    ❜ ❛    you’re  minty  fresh  &  zestfully  clean  .    ❜ ❛    he’s  gonna  pop  the  question  .    ❜ ❛    there’s  no  reason  to  stop  &  question  his  love  .    ❜ ❛    oh  my  god  !  she’s  like  cinderella  !    ❜ ❛    i’m  like  her  fairy  godmother  ,   only  slutty  !    ❜ ❛    is  someone  a  catch  if  they  can’t  be  caught  ?    ❜ ❛    could  it  be  the  guy  has  just  outgrown  me  ?    ❜ ❛    i’ll  die  alone  in  socks  &  flats    —    the  lady  with  the  fifty  cats  .    ❜ ❛    he’ll  never  pop  the  question  .    ❜ ❛    you’re  gonna  be  fine  .   just  breathe  .    ❜ ❛    hey  ,   baby  .    ❜ ❛    you  look  hot  .   ❜ ❛    let’s  eat  .    ❜ ❛    we’re  going  round  in  circles  here  .    ❜ ❛    it’s  as  if  all  resolves  around  him  .    ❜ ❛    everybody’s  having  champagne  .   you  don’t  want  any  ,   do  you  ?    ❜ ❛    if  one  more  couple  gets  engaged  or  i  hear  one  more  cork  ,   it’s  hari  kari  with  this  fancy  little  salad  fork  .    ❜ ❛    this  is  the  end  ,   right  ?    ❜ ❛    i  want  us  to  be  husband  &  wife  .    ❜ ❛    he  totally  popped  the  question  .    ❜

SOMEBODY  KILL  ME  .

❛    you  don’t  know  how  much  i  need  you  .    ❜ ❛    while  you’re  near  me  ,   i  don’t  feel  blue  .    ❜ ❛    when  we  kiss  i  know  you  need  me  ,   too  .    ❜ ❛    i  can’t  believe  i  found  a  love  that’s  so  pure  &  true  .    ❜ ❛    it  was  all  bullshit  !   it  was  a  goddamn  joke  !    ❜ ❛    i  hope  you  fuckin’  choke  !    ❜ ❛    i  hope  you’re  glad  with  what  you’ve  done  to  me  !    ❜ ❛    i  lay  in  bed  all  day  long  feeling  melancholy  !    ❜ ❛    you  left  here  all  alone  .    ❜ ❛    somebody  kill  me  please  !    ❜ ❛    i  want  to  die  !    ❜ ❛    put  a  bullet  in  my  head  !    ❜

A  NOTE  FROM  GRANDMA  .

❛    i  know  you’re  feeling  low  .    ❜ ❛    though  things  might  seem  dismal  ,   there’s  one  thing  you  need  to  know  .    ❜ ❛    you’ll  find  someone  who  loves  you  ,   sure  as  waves  will  find  the  shore  .    ❜

CAUSALITY  OF  LOVE  .

❛    i  thought  i  had  the  kind  of  love  you  find  in  fairy tales  .    ❜ ❛    my  girl  ripped  out  my  heart  with  her  plastic  press  -  on  nails  .    ❜ ❛    i’m  a  causality  of  love  .    ❜ ❛    i  put  a  top  hat  on  my  cat  then  asked  him  to  my  prom  .    ❜ ❛    i  was  stood  up  by  my  date  &  by  date  i  mean  my  mom  .    ❜ ❛    each  night  i  open  up  my  mouth  &  give  those  twinkies  a  shove  .    ❜ ❛    we’re  from  different  walks  of  life  &  different  points  of  view  .    ❜ ❛    love’s  a  hoax  ,  love’s  a  tease  ,  love’s  a  piñata  full  of  bees  .    ❜ ❛    love’s  a  wound  ,   watch  it  bleed  .    ❜ ❛    you’ll  end  up  just  like  this  .    ❜ ❛    trust  me  ,   love  always  ends  .    ❜ ❛    you’ll  be  fat  ,   divorced  ,   &  broke  while  she  has  sex  with  all  your  friends  .    ❜

COME  OUT  OF  THE  DUMPSTER  .

❛    tonight  you  made  some  mistakes  .   i’ll  admit  you  hit  a  few  bumps  .    ❜ ❛    i  hate  to  see  you  like  this    —    down  on  your  luck  ,   down  in  the  dumps  .    ❜ ❛    though  hope  might  seem  in  short  supply  ,   you  have  to  move  on  .   you  have  to  try  .    ❜ ❛    don’t  leave  me  standing  here  .    ❜ ❛    come  out  of  the  dumpster  ,   it’s  okay  .   the  coast  is  clear  .    ❜ ❛    the  cop  cars  are  leaving  .   channel  live’s  packed  up  its  crew  .    ❜ ❛    i’ll  be  right  here  waiting  for  you  .    ❜ ❛    ..  so  ,   you’re  back  in  the  dumpster  .    ❜ ❛    everyone  has  a  dumpster  ,   a  stumbling  block  they  can’t  ignore  .    ❜ ❛    to  fight  it  makes  you  stronger  &  next  time  you  might  stand  .    ❜ ❛    here  ,   take  a  hold  of  my  hand  .    ❜ ❛    your  first  day  back  wasn’t  all  you  anticipated  .    ❜ ❛    i  bit  the  best  man  .    ❜ ❛    the  bride  had  to  be  sedated  .    ❜ ❛    this  sort  of  thing  happens  all  the  time  .    ❜ ❛    when  life  gives  you  garbage  ,   use  it  to  climb  .    ❜ ❛    look  ,   you’re  out  of  the  dumpster  !    ❜ ❛    was  that  so  hard  after  all  ?    ❜ ❛    from  here  it  looks  so  small  .    ❜ ❛    you’re  back  where  you  started  on  your  way  to  success  .    ❜ ❛    will  you  sing  at  my  wedding  ?    ❜

TODAY  YOU  ARE  A  MAN  .

❛    there’s  a  gift  from  every  guest  .    ❜ ❛    today  you  are  a  man  .    ❜ ❛    your  goyim  friends  have  been  agog  since  they  left  the  synagogue  .    ❜ ❛    drunk  on  schnapps  &  in  a  fog  &  speaking  hebrew  best  they  can  .    ❜ ❛    there’s  a  waitress dressed  up  like  a  go  -  go  .    ❜ ❛    shiksas  are  a  no  -  no  !    ❜ ❛    at  least  it’s  not  your  bris  .    ❜ ❛    today  you  are  a  boy  .    ❜

NOT  THAT  KIND  OF  THING  .

❛    it’s  a  tricky  situation    —    first  fight  .    ❜ ❛    why  not  tell  yourself  you’re  both  wrong  ,   both  right  .    ❜ ❛    we’re  sister  &  brother  .    ❜ ❛    tell  the  stars  in  the  heavens  they’ve  been  misaligned  ,   ‘cause  it’s  not  that  kind  of  thing  .    ❜ ❛    you  get  stuck  with  them  for  better  or  worse  .    ❜ ❛    it’s  emasculating  holding  a  purse  &  it  doesn’t  match  my  jacket  .    ❜ ❛    your  evil  scheme  has  worked  out  just  as  you  planned  it  .    ❜ ❛    i’ve  shopped  ,   you’ve  carried  .    ❜ ❛    you’re  scary  .    ❜ ❛    there  are  times  when  her  eyes  meet  mine  &  linger  there  maybe  a  bit  too  long  .    ❜ ❛    i  wonder  ..  is  there  something  hidden  in  this  stare  ?    ❜ ❛    no  ,   i  couldn’t  be  more  wrong  !    ❜

SATURDAY  NIGHT  IN  THE  CITY  .

❛    my  favorite  club’ll  always  double  my  vodka  shots  .    ❜ ❛    tonight  we’re  gonna  party  like  it’s  1986  !    ❜ ❛    it’s  saturday  night  in  the  city  !    ❜ ❛    the  dance  floor  smoke  ,   a  bump  of  coke  ,   &  everything  taboo  .    ❜ ❛    i  gotta  pair  of  parachute  pants  that  grandma  bought  me  to  wear  .    ❜ ❛    new  york  is  reserved  for  the  rich  &  proud  .    ❜ ❛    hoping  sunday  morning  you’ll  have  sins  to  confess  .    ❜ ❛    everybody’s  equal  when  they’re  thrashing  on  the  floor  .    ❜ ❛    why  would  anything  be  wrong  ?   let’s  get  drunk  !    ❜ ❛    i’m  not  tipsy  ..  i’m hammered  !    ❜ ❛    my  body’s  an  amusement  park  ,   the  first  ride’s  on  me  .    ❜ ❛    don’t  stop  to  question  if  you’re  gonna  score  .    ❜ ❛    being  young  &  stupid  is  what  saturday  is  for  !    ❜ ❛    tell  yourself  that  you  must  have  been  out  of  your  mind  ..    ❜

[andrewuttaro]

Catechetical Cat (Week 35) Faith

Doubt isn’t the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.

Paul Tillich

As August turns to September every year there is something palpable in the air. The weather gets cooler slowly but in your youth responsibility comes back like a landslide. All of the sudden blissful summer vacation turns to Back-to-School shopping and that mandatory trip to the Mall with your grandma because she insists on buying some nice school clothes for you. My little brain coped with all this rapid change with dreams. I’m not kidding! Between August and October every year since I was a child I have multiple dreams a night, some of them very vivid. It happens less now that I’m an adult but there is still an annual uptick. I tried to look into the science of it and the only thing I could come up with is REM rebound: more dreams because I was getting more deep sleep which I can only assume occurred because my parents made sure we started going to bed earlier again for school this time of year. Either way this change of season is somewhat widely felt if the sheer volume of memes about it tell us anything. When there is suddenly more responsibility thrust upon us its only natural to doubt ourselves for a time: are we ready for this? Can we do all this?

The proverbial answer to these doubts is to believe in oneself, to have faith in one’s own abilities and build up the parts that are lacking. That answer always failed to get traction with me. I had a bit of a learning disability, so I struggled with several basic things throughout my childhood education. At the end of the long streak of stressful Septembers I did go to College and then Graduate School, so I did, in fact, believe in myself and build myself up enough to overcome the doubt and get by. Some might just call this gumption. You wouldn’t be wrong but at some point in this universal experience of struggle we invest faith in ourselves. If not consciously we subconsciously get to it no matter how much we doubt. If you don’t let the doubt paralyze you it becomes the seeds of growth. On a practical level this is the essence of faith.

Bear with me here. Faith is belief in something you have no proof of rooted in a hope in someone or something. Through the various Septembers of life we hope in ourselves in spite of the doubt. Through that hope and doubt working together that way we move forward in what can only be described as faith. We believe in our potential future where we handle the responsibility, pass the class, and maybe even understand a little bit of algebra. This simple doubt to hope to faith to moving forward formula is also the meat and potatoes of religious faith. We get it wrong when we think the heavens part and we’re bestowed with a belief in some sky-daddy. Faith is a choice you make to love: either to love yourself long enough to see something through or to love someone else long enough to see a relationship become fruitful. Yes, it’s an act of creative imagination but it’s also an act of creating something new when faith actually moves us forward. This opens us up to what one may compare to the heavens parting: that moment when you encounter God reaching out to you as your faith reaches out to him.

[puppyknower]

the sure grandma lets get you to bed meme but its me being like “if u think leftbook was bad try the tumblr left circa the early-to-mid 2010s”

[kim-isnt-seaweed]

Kids

(i am not saying all families are the same as the ones I’ll describe here, it’s just my experiences with the families I have encountered)

I find it very interesting how different kids that come from immigrant families view their culture compared to people that still live in those countries. I used to watch a lot of Asian American YouTubers or specifically East Asian Americans, and most of them said how strict and cold their parents were, how they would get “their ass beat” for the silliest of things and the whole “tiger mom” “k rage” trope. but ever since I moved to Korea I have worked with and around kids, not as a teacher but more of a nanny that just speaks to them in English, an Au Pair if you will, and let me just tell you how different parents actually are here.

 the first family I worked with had two girls, pardon me but they were demons. the oldest one who was 9 at the time had a very bad temper, she would grab her little sister by the hair and start punching her, if I tried to separate them she would actually hit me too, she broke two of my phones because she got angry while speaking with her mom, if she didn’t want to do work or go to her classes there was no man on earth that could make her do so, she would yell and scream and throw things and if she was late she would yell at me and blame me for being late, although I would try to get her to do her homework days before, she would only start it a few hours before. the youngest one wasn’t as bad ..if she was by herself but she did have an affinity for throwing her food on the floor if I asked her to eat properly. I had multiple emotional breakdowns because of them, and every time i would try talking to the mother about her kid’s anger she would say “oh it’s just puberty” or if I asked for help she would be like “I can’t help you, that is why I am paying you for” no it wasn’t, you were paying me to take care of them and help them with English, not to raise them. I couldn’t discipline them, I couldn’t shout at them. my job was to take them to school, pick them up, take them to their classes, help with their homework and feed them, not raise them. although I tried I really did try, i did the best a 19 year old could, when the eldest would lock herself in her room because she wasn’t getting her way, throw things at me, throw the door in my face and scream at the top of her lungs causing her to be late for school and me for class, I would call her mom on the verge of tears asking for help but all she would say was “can’t you deal with it? I am busy right now”. when I finally found a way that semi-worked, which was bribing them with candy, the mother told me no to do it so my hands were tied. it honestly did baffle me how the mother kept denying her kid had an anger problem and putting it off as puberty. this child wouldn’t only act that way with me, she would do it with her poor grandmother, and with her mom as well (although it was worse with me because she had no reason to respect me) yet not once did I see her discipline her, or tell her that what she was doing was wrong, or ground her, or take something away from her. not once.

the child I work with now is very nice, a sweetheart actually, and her mother helps me out a lot (she was actually the only person to give me a cake for my birthday on Monday) I have worked with them for two years and I still haven’t had a problem with them; But I still do see the differences in what most people in America say. she  is an only child, so she’s really  used to getting her way and never getting in trouble, however her misdoings are nothing compared to the other kids, they are still enough to get in trouble, at least for me and especially according to the anecdotes of those YouTubers; like always making us late for her classes because she was to busy playing with her friends and not listening to me telling her the time, yet her mother would always just tell her it’s okay. which is fine, this kid is a dream compared to the first ones, and my siblings to be honest. the biggest difference though is that she is very very very dependant on her parents, her mother mostly, she is 10 years old and still sleeps in the same bed as her parents, if its 9 pm and I try to tuck her in bed when her mother hasn’t arrived she cannot sleep, which is a bit troublesome.. Despite her being a model child, it doesn’t mean her classmates are, for example, a few weeks ago the girl got angry at her friend because he was calling her names, so she called him out, the boy’s reaction? push her very harshly, I was shocked, I picked my kid up and told him not to do that, his mom, however, having also witnessed the situation, just glared at me, smiled at her child and encouraged my kid to laugh it off and forgive him. I was fuming, but I couldn’t do anything. I’ve also had kids push past me, and not excuse themselves, in front of their parents and they didn’t even bother to acknowledge my face. other kids have spilled the entirety of their drinks on my table and books because they were running around the very cramped campus cafe, they’re mothers just apologized but did nothing else. some boys hit me in the stomach with a soccer ball and just laugh, and the adult man that was with them did nothing. the most I’ve ever seen here is a parent “angrily” slap a toy car. 

of course, I’m not saying hit your kids, I was never hit as a child, but I sure was told off, grounded and had things taken away from me whenever I stepped out of line. and this isn't just Asian parents v.s Asian American parents. I have also seen it with Latin Americans and Latins. all the memes that say stuff like “my parents threatening me with the chancla” but in reality, people in Latin America don’t actually hit their kids anymore, the most physical my mom has ever gotten was to pinch my arm because I was running my mouth making her look bad. the last time I ever heard anyone getting hit was my grandma telling me how her dad used to beat her with a branch or the metal buckle of his belt until she bled for telling him to stop beating her brother; at that time, of course, it wasn't child abuse it was “parenting” and that was why she would only hit my mom with a chancla.  I just merely have more experience with kids here, since I work with them. Another thing is an observation on how I feel like immigrant families still keep customs (or I don’t know what to call them) from when they left their country, preserving them for years to come, kinda like frozen and time, so maybe that's why the newer generations think it still like that back in their parent’s countries when in reality said countries are actually moving forward and actually trying to adapt(?) to more globalized ways. like one of my mom’s best friends, her husband is Korean, but he hasn’t been to Korea in over 25 years, when I asked them to come he said no, because for him Korea is still the war-ridden, hunger-stricken third world country he left.

[autumn-in-phandom]

MEET HOT DADDIES IN OUR AREA!

(That’s clickbait if I’ve ever seen it)

Dan and Phil play: Dream Daddy #2

0:01 I love Phil in his burgundy hearts shirt. 0:02 Dan’s shirt is a bit distracting but he looks really cute in it. 0:05 The dog *was* the most important thing last time. 0:08 The animated corgi added in and the effect that Phil bops it down with his fist while saying “sadly the owner was quite sassy” was quite satisfying. 0:25 Love the slow pan in intro with the logo and hearts. 0:29 Hearing Phil say “our old husband” is a bit surreal. 0:30 “died!” in sync 0:58 Reaffirming their dad choices are each other. 1:05 Is Dan chewing on something? 1:28 Dan sings “Dream Daddy” 1:39 “We apologize so much.”- Dan

1:52 “Bouncy baby Craig”- Phil (how Phil remembers names) 2:02 “That’s how to instantly be like ‘wrong number, bye.’”- Dan miming texting 2:10 “6 am, no. On the no pile straight away”-Dan “That is criminal.”- Phil 2:22 (I had to look up “swole”) 2:24 Two messages is a little bit desperate according to Phil 2:27 Dan feels sorry that he maybe doesn’t have anyone to do bro brunches with. 2:36 “Sure you wann ‘catch up’” innuendo according to Dan 2:50 “What year is it?”- in sync “3,300”- Phil 2:58 “That’s more Dan and Phil, being late for everything.”- Phil

3:06 Flash back to parents evening, so awkward, judging you to your face 3:23 Bright orange visitors sticker “right on the forehead”- Phil “Bonk”- Dan 3:28 “Haggard” has a wizard association with Phil 3:40 “A youth”- Dan 3:50 Lucien is what Phil wanted to look like in college. 3:55 Probably Dan’s best voice of this game. 4:22 Low rent Gerard Way burn reaction. 4:37 Phil thinks Hugo has “swanky clothes” 4:51 Phil singing “we’re not okay”

5:01 Phil’s “He’s gonna get the cane out” Dan’s reaction and Phil’s giggling while reading 5:25 “Good one” to Dan’s elbow blowing 5:38 I like that Dan just immediately goes for that bell sound effect 5:45 Phil describes their parent teacher conferences, teachers “sass us to our faces” 5:55 Dan’s half mouth teacher imitation we’ve seen in skits. I’m not sure why, but it bothers me a bit. 6:25 “First name basis” Dan dance “Watch out”- Phil 7:47 “I turn around and go damn, he really fills out those trousers.”- Daniel Howell 8:00 Hugo is “too stuffy”- Phil “I’m not into that”- Dan 8:13 “A wet book.” Okay Phil. (Books smell great I’m unstanning) 8:23 Phil clarifies the husband wasn’t killed by kangaroos.

8:35 James Corden singing with Harry Styles in the car reference. (Actually worth watching imo.) 9:22 Dan being disturbed by the father daughter talk in the car sounding like a sex talk. “That sounds like something else.” “Oh god, where’s this going?” 9:48 If I was Dan’s grandma following him on Twitter and watching his videos, I would be concerned by a lot more than just his language. (But they seem to be very close and he probably explained his humor to her long ago.) 10:40 “Is it a meme?”- Phil “Probably, a super ironic meme.”- Dan

11:25 “We know what a mall is.”- Phil 11:30 Dan remembers being shouted at for loitering 11:40 “Heck.”- a quiet and amused Dan 11:44 “Always go for Chinese.”- Dan 11:46 “Oh my god mall Chinese food is the best.”- Phil 12:00 “They have a great bond! Talk about your problems Amanda!”- Dan reacting to Dilddy and Amanda’s food humor 12:33 Their reaction to Phil having predicted the memes convo. 12:57 Dan’s Memeing of Life video reference. 13:06 Phil “lets” Dan say the swear word. Transitions into “dat boy” reference. 13:26 Dan’s over reaction to anti-establishment/capitalism rant, Phil practically rolling his eyes 13:43 “Okay, this is like, stop trying so hard to prove how cool and critical your opinions are, Brah. God. Jesus.”- Dan

14:30 Blue raspberry slushies are dangerous 14:40 Dan would have cried about MCR merch being ruined 14:48 And would still wear it 15:05 Yeah, Dan we all know what it’s trying to parody. 15:10 Both of them would rather go to Bed, Bath & Beyond (domestic <3) 15:23 “Don’t think that way Dilddy, you’re valid.”- Dan

15:35 “Guess the name. Vincent.”- Dan “Dracula.”- Phil “Just straight up Dracula.”- Dan cracking up 16:05 Dan is highly amused by “Edwardian dressage” 16:10 Phil looks done, admits “I’m not sure I’m going to date this one.” 16:28 “Not carrier pigeon? Wow, this guy is not carrying it through.”- Dan 16:30 Phil is liking his nail varnish 16:40 “All I know is that he’s way too high maintenance for me and I’m noping out of there.”- Dan (I like how in this case both Dan and Phil seem to be speaking as themselves not wanting to date Damien, not speaking about what’s right for Dilddy) 17:30 They are both “intrigued, but not at all interested.”

17:44 D&P would watch “Long Haul Paranormal Ice Road Ghost Truckers” 18:26 “Hop on the Reddits and down vote some comments.”- Dan 18:38 “Wow, productive day for Dilddy there, not.”- wow Dan 18:46 When did Dan start with the snorting? I feel like this is a somewhat recent development. 19:09 Furniture assembling is all about interpretation 19:16 “Dilddy continues to be the most relatable character ever.”- Seriously Dan, hush, you have no room to talk. 19:22 A few seconds later: “Yeah, its honest”

20:07 “They’ve got some punch going on, wieners, chairs, plants and lots of cakes. This is a damn good cookout if you ask me.”- Dan 20:25 Dan thinks Joesph sounds like Viktor from Yuri on Ice. 20:52 “Ohh, okay, can’t be a home wrecker then.”- Dan 21:19 “Wow Mary.”- Phil, dragging her 20:20 “I *love* her, literal goals.”- Dan 21:33 “All the guys!”- Dan doing a weird arm flap thing “Ohhh, there’s more guys”- Phil

21:40 Dan loosing total composure over Robert. 21:45 Rugged (edgy) vs rustic (like Amish, ok Dan) 21:50 “Why does he need the whisky, what does he want to do with the eyes? Fuck!“- Dan 22:00 Phil predicts that Dilddy and Robert are not going to get along 22:15 “He’s a bundle of laughs.”- Phil no likee, Dan likee very much

22:40 Phil’s whiny dad voice is a marvel 22:46 “Pleasantries!”- both 22:58 “Wow Amanda.”- Phil 23:06 “It’s Mat! He’s my fave!”- Phil 23:10 “What a cool guy and mysterious.”- Dan about Robert 23:14 “Boo.”- Dan at Brian, mumbles something about dog 23:18 “Edwardian!”- Dan about Damien 23:21 “Hella awkward.”- Dan about Hugo 23:28 “What a coincidence!” (that all the dads live on their cul-de-sac) 23:40 “Mysterious stranger and guy that was too boastful, that doesn’t seem like a good combination, I do want to get to know the mysterious guy more, but I kinda want to avoid Brian.”- Gee Dan, we can tell. 23:51 “Teacher- awkward, Mat- nice, Craig”- Dan, “We like Craig”- Phil

24:02 Look at that diverse group of hot dads! 24:08 “He needs help. Let’s go rescue Craig, that’s definitely what this is.”- Dan 24:16 “Oh my god, Hugo. Stop.”- Phil looking pained 24:36 “Like a Labrador.”- Dan (second Labrador mention this week) 24:44 Craig calls River “little bro” so Dan uses male pronoun only to find out seconds later River is a girl. “Poor baby.” 25:02 Hand quotes abound 25:11 Dan whispers “What the fuck does that mean?” He really wants to know the details of their college relationship 25:20 Daniel James Howell burnt pasta because he didn’t know he had to put water in it. Shame him.

25:50 Dan tells Phil to make Mat’s daughter sound a bit more cool 25:55 “Coot!” “Coot!” 26:00 “Mat is just too cute”- Dan (I thought for sure he was going to say too cool) 26:02 “Dreamboat”- Phil (Dan seems a bit surprised by Phil’s sudden statement) 26:06 “Delet”- Dan who is being slowly won over 26:20 Carmensita is such “an amazingly cool name” 26:23 “Fuck off Daisy. No one likes you Daisy.”- I swear to god, pausing during Dan’s outbursts reveal the best Phil faces 27:03 “Smoooking”- Dan lip shake thing 27:18 Can anyone make out what Dan says about Craig and Mat here? “There’s a… those two.”?

27:40 “Wow. Incredible.”- D “What a delinquent.”- P “Seriously.”- D 27:48 “I mean if you give him a name like Ernest he’s gonna rebel.”- Dan 27:53 “Shout out to any Ernests watching.”- Phil 28:10 Props to Phil for his moody teenage boy voice 28:20 “Woah, edge detected!”- Dan 28:28 What the heck was that Dan? 28:55 Dan thinks Dilddy is cool for not being pretentious 28:56 Dan would be friends with someone who says they’re “cool as a cucumber” 29:58 “From my experience, the moment you stop living with your parents you suddenly are like ‘I love my family!’ but maybe that’s just because you’re used to there being food in the house, and not having to do your own laundry.”- okay Dan, don’t ruin a nice thing. 30:40 “Diddly P!”

30:45 Phil asks Dan if he’s liking Damien’s aesthetic, Dan: “no”. 32:00 Damien Bloodmarch “too much” 32:20 “Wow. Smooth. He’s definitely a vampire.”- Phil 32:30 “Hello Amanda.”- in unison “We should do it at the same time.”- you just did Dan 32:53 “Can we all be Mary?”- Dan (with her wine goals) 33:37 Dan bangs the desk “Everything’s connected!” (Lucien and Damien) 33:45 “Fight! Fight! Fight!”- Dan 34:18 “Joesph is so wholesome, when he isn’t passively aggressively correcting his wife. It’s a facade”- Dan 34:30 “Edge detected!”- Dan 35:03 “The Satan number.”- Phil

35:47 “The Game of Thrones.”- Phil “Yeah sure, it better be”- Dan 35:55 Just going to call him Diddly 37:30 “Wow. I kind of like this. It’s like me, just constant, like joking, then double joking, then triple joking and then everyone’s like ‘wow, do you have a personality or are you just hiding it until layers of humor as a defense mechanism?’”- Dan (wow that went deep) 37:45 “It’s okay Dan.”- Phil, “I’m just kidding.”- Dan 39:39 “Ginger representation.”- Dan (not sure what that has to do with anything but they’re warming up to Brian 40:40 Phil loves the puns, Dan wants them to stop. Clearly Phil was meant to be the dad.

43:03 Dan is into the cauliflower, he will eat the cauliflower, he’s just putting that out there (he also put out a negative opinion on cucumbers not long ago I believe. What does it mean?) 44:00 Wine and Dine Mastermind sounds like something they’d watch 44:33 “Kiddo” reminds Dan of Sans 44:50 “Definitely” earned that ice cream sandwich 45:07 Dan helping Phil with assuaging and exacerbating 45:45 Phil’s dad performance kills me from here on 46:16 “Don’t complain about the attitude. If you want to be protective stick to the issue. So you could say I have a right to be concerned but is that a bit entitled?”- Dan, “I think just like I was scared.”- Phil “It shows vulnerability. That’s how to do it.”- Dan (very wise, what good dads, now good luck keeping a level head when you are actually upset) 46:46 “Say sorry Amanda.”- Phil 46:56 Paused here, D&P’s facial and body language accurately reflect how I feel about what Phil just said about his bedroom. Both their eyes move away from each other and they look tired.

47:22 Phil’s least favorite is Hugo, “He’s so stuffy. I mean intelligence can be attractive but I think when he’s just uhbuhburhburhbuhbahbah”- how’d that go again Phil?

47:30 “He’s got that walrus mustache.”- Dan

47:36 Phil is liking Mat: made banana bread, funny, sensitive and Craig: friend from college, quite funny, and doesn’t really fit in with the snarffle snarffle something

47:47 Dan likes the tall dark mysterious stranger (“Really?” asks Phil surprised, like it wasn’t obvious) cracking inappropriate jokes is literally himself, thinks the darkness might be a pretense and that he could be really soft and vulnerable on the inside “WHO KNOWS?!” Hmmm.

[whyldkratts]

for the ask meme: all of them, but if thats too much maybe just the last 10?

Sorry for the long post aaaa1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? [I bought lottery tickets bc I was in texas and they’re not legal where I live and the cashier at the gas station didn’t even ask for my id. I tried to show him and he just shook his head and let me go???? He didnt even care wtf]2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? [Nah]3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? [Yea a little bit. I mean if it was just occasionally that’s probably fine? But a lot of my family has fucked up their entire lives with drugs so anything like that is iffy for me. It depends on how often they smoke ultimately]4: Do you find it easy to trust others? [I’d say yeah, probably. As long as you don’t fuck me over or guilt me within the first few weeks of knowing me id probably feel comfortable messaging you if I needed someone to talk to]5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? [Scrolling Tumblr]6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? [Probably my irl bffs lindy and raven!]7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? [Dump them. Adios fucker. I hope they’re happy with whoever they cheated on me with]8: Are you close with your dad? [Yeah I’d say so? I love him and he usually let’s me do my thing]9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? [Nah]10: What are you listening to? [Run by hozier]11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? [Sweet tea!!!! I’m from the south baby]12: Do you like hickeys? [Never has one so I don’t know!]13: What time do you go to bed? [Uhhhhhh 5am?]14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? [My siblings.]15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? [Nope I fuck up spelling a lot and have to go back and fix it no matter how many hands I’m typing with]16: Do you always answer your texts? [I try!! Unless I’m emotionally tired or forget]17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? [No. She’s my best friend now, actually]18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? [LIKE 3 MINUTES AGO I was complaining about how long it car ride home is]19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? [My irlbest friends, the cars discord chat I’m in, and a lot of my wk friends]20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? [I was writing ducktales fanfiction in my head]21: Is anyone else in the room with you? [I’m in a car with my mom for the next uhhh 7 hours?]22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? [Karmas a bitch]23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? [I was visiting family in Indiana, so yea probably? Tho I am pretty happy now too]24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? [Sometimes, with my old pal cat. She did some bad things so I stopped talking to her, but sometimes I want to catch up and see how she’s doing.]25: In the past week, have you cried? [YEAH over a darkwing duck episode]26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? [Grey. It has Mickey mouse on it!]27: Do people ever call you by your last name? [Noooope]28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? [I wouldn’t know]29: Do you have a best friend? [YEAH everyone in the cars discord and raven and lindy]30:��Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? [No it was my great grandma lol]31: Who was your last call/text message from? [Call: red cross asking for my blood. Text: raven saying “dang”]32: Are you mad at anyone? [Not really? I don’t get angry very easily at all]33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? [When I was a freshman I was dating a junior]34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? [My great grandma! 88 I think]35: How many more days until your birthday? [LIKE a whole entire year. August 2nd]36: Do you have any summer plans yet? [Help my friend after her spine surgery p much. Visit family around the 4th of july]37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? [I have tons of girl friends!! All my best friends are girls (except em but they’re a good friend still!!!)]38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? [Lindy doesn’t know I’m trans]39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? [Uhhhhhhhhhhh next question]40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? [I try not to regret things like that]41: Do you think age matters in relationships? [UH YEAH?? An adult dating a minor ain’t my deallll]42: Are you available? [Lmfao yeah but don’t hold your breath I’m awful at relationships]43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? [My ex and bff dksdkdiajsai kill Me. I’ve had small crushes but I don’t rly let them grow too much if I realize they’re poppin up]44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? [Septum]45: Do you believe exes can be friends? [Yeah!!!!! I just reconnected with my ex from freshmen year and he’s cool]46: Do you regret anything? [Times where my mouth moved before my head could think and I hurt someone I cared about. Times where I didn’t listen. Times where I hesitated. But the past is a different country, and I try not to waste the present lamenting what I could’ve done.]47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? [Home. And the mistakes I’ve made.]48: Did you ever lose a best friend? [Yeah. She moved away and we just… talked less, and less, and less.]49: Was your last kiss a mistake? [Nah it was my great grandma]50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? [They have a bf and also dont like me plus im unlovable and bad at relationships and feelings *shrug emoji* the other person I’m interested in lives too far away and also doesn’t like me like that]51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? [Twas my gg and probably when I was a baby]52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? [All these last kiss ones are so angsty and sad and it was literally my grandma 5 hours ago I’m laughing]53: What was the last thing you ate? [McDonald’s French fries!!!!!]54: Did you get any compliments today? [Nah I’m in my road trip attire so I look like a mess]55: Where are you going on your next vacation? [New Orleans in October for voodoo fest!! Gonna see the foo fighters B)]56: Do you own anything from other countries?[I think I have Canadian money somewhere…]57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?[girls!!]58: Where have you lived most of your life?[Sweet Home Alabama]59: When was the last time you took a long drive?[DOING IT RN!!!!! 13 HOURS]60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?[yea but it was like, mashed up with truth or dare. Instead of kissing we asked them truth or dare]61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?[nah I’m pretty mild]62: Who do you text the most?[raven probably? Or max]63: What was the last movie you saw?[spirited away I think??? First time I ever saw it]64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?[I’m single, don’t remind me :P]65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?[I was 12 and right smack dab in the middle of my ugly awkward phase (thays still going on today!) So I had none lmao]66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?[nah]67: Do you curse around your parents?[GOOD LORD NO]68: Are you happy with where you live?[I? Hate Alabama. My city is okay but I want to move somewhere nicer]69: Picture of yourself? [I have a selfie tag. I would upload but I’m lazy. Maybe if I find a pic I like later I will]70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?[polyamory All the wayy!!!!! But monogamy is cool too]71: Have you ever been dumped?[probably in elementary school but I don’t remember? I usually am the one to end it bc I get freaked out and skittish around people genuinely caring about me so I break it up before they’re disappointed]72: What do you most like about making out?[being comfortable and close enough with someone to do it.]73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?[yup!]74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?[depends? I’ve asked to kiss someone and I’ve been asked equal amounts.]75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?[eyes? Idk there’s a lot that goes into finding someone attractive it’s hard to narrow it down]76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?[my mom]77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?[virgin]78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?[virgin]79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?[Any cartoon character I’m currently hyperfixated on]80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?[yes. But i would go slow and I wouldn’t want to meet their child until we were both sure this was something we wanted long term.]81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?[no its usually me? Wait i take that back!! One girl did while I was in hs but I’m pretty sure she only did it bc she just figured out her sexuality and I was queer and there.]82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?[nope I bottle that shit up!!!! But if it’s a long standing crush I’ll tell a few people eventually]83: Do you miss your last sweetie?[No.]84: Last time you slow danced with someone?[my friend Franklin at prom. We pretended to be spies on a mission forced to act casual as we scoped out potential enemies]85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?[??? Don’t like the skeptical quote marks. I’ve been in long distance relationships before, yes.]86: How can I win your heart?[just like…… be nice to me, ever, and I’m into it. Talk about things you like, ask me about things I like, try and get into/understand my interests and I’ll do the same?? Don’t make fun of me and don’t belittle my interests. The bar is low]87: What is your astrological sign?[leo]88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?[sleeping]89: Do you cook?[pasta!!!!!!!]90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?[yeah!!! 3 years of no talking and I reconnected with max recently]91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?[uh it’s complicated. Yes but idk if I’m in a good place for a relationship. I haven’t even begun to transition at all.]92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?[you say that like I could get multiple people to date me]93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?[nice dress style?? Glasses are good too. Idk questions like this are hard augh]94: Name four things that you wish you had![money, a job, plush darkwing duck toy, a car]95: Are you a player?[no]96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?[nooooope]97: Are you a tease?[hahahahaha no]98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?[nope!!! Not yet]99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?[maybe. But I don’t think you can love someone too deeply who doesn’t love you back]100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?[sure, plenty]101: Hugs or Kisses?[both??? Both is good]102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?[It’s Not shyness, it’s rejection I have a problem with]103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?[girls are pretty]104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?[Yeah I guess]105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?[If it was an open relationship and everyone knew the situation, then yea prob?? If not, then no.]106: Do you flirt a lot?[not really]107: Your last kiss?[my grandmaaaaa]108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?[not in a romantic way]109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?[not in a romantic way]110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?[next question]111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?[nope!! It’s a hopefully nice surprise for future me]112: Does someone like you currently?[probably not lol but ive got no idea!!]113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?[sure]114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?[I want to fall in love.]115: Ever made out with just a friend?[yeah]116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?[in a relationship I think?]117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.[just send me an ask and ill answer it]

This got a bit of self hatred dashed in there whoops sorry!!!

[amzbailey]

time for a personal post! because it’s been a while and things are happening and honestly, why not?

let’s see... where to begin...

I’m still jobless, so that’s a thing. I thought I had a job in the bag recently because my recruiter set up a phone interview, then we had an in-person interview last week, and my recruiter said she spoke to the manager and got “lots of positive feedback” and “should know something early next week”. well, it’s “early next week” now. the interview was a week ago. I really thought I would know at this point. oh well. they probably found someone else and haven’t gotten around to telling my recruiter yet. she has tons of other clients so I probably haven’t even crossed her mind yet.

and honestly, this job isn’t really something I want. it’s just... a job. I’ve finally reached that point where I really just need something to do. and we need money. about a month ago. our AC unit went out so we had to get a whole new system installed, so that cost us quite a pretty penny. then we went on vacation and made a few other large purchases... so I’m starting to feel the need to contribute so we can continue paying bills and living the way we’ve been living. at any rate, I still have no idea what I actually want to do, and I can’t just refuse to work while trying to figure out where my career is going. so... I’ll just take whatever comes along at this point.

on a separate note... my grandma is dying. she was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia a few months ago and has been a pretty rapid decline. she was admitted to a hospice yesterday. I’m going to visit her tomorrow. if I’m being honest, she’s been sick for a really really long time... I think we’ve been saying “this Christmas may be her last” for about 6 years now, and every year she’s still hanging on. but with this pretty intense diagnosis, she’s been deteriorating before our eyes. last week when I visited her, I was pretty surprised to learn that she no longer can walk to the bathroom by herself. she can’t even get from the couch to the table without someone helping her up. my dad and his family can’t afford assisted living so my dad’s been paying nurses to come once or twice a week to bathe her, and then paying friends and family members to just come be with her and help her move around the rest of the time. but apparently this week a professional nurse came to bathe her and couldn’t get her out of bed. I don’t know what all that entailed, but it ended with the nurse recommending that she be admitted to a hospice. which really means that she doesn’t have long left.

to be honest.... I’m not sure how I feel about it. I mean, of course I’m horribly sad that my only living grandparent is about to die... but I’ve watched her deteriorate these past few months and that’s horribly sad to witness. at this point, I honestly am just ready to see her pain and suffering end. what’s even worse, though, is watching my dad deal with it. basically, his siblings are all shitty, selfish people, and even though he’s the youngest of 4, he’s the only one who has been taking care of his dying mother. he’s been working his ass off week after week trying to make sure she’s being taken care of on a daily basis, while his siblings not only contribute no time or money to my grandmother’s well being, but also have the audacity to criticize how my dad does EVERYTHING. it’s infuriating and disgusting. I know for a fact that after all of this is over and my grandmother is gone, we won’t see that side of the family ever again. my dad’s siblings are worthless shitty people who refuse to even VISIT their mother, let alone contribute financially to her care. it’s disgusting.

but watching my dad go through this has been devastating, and I’m not even living with them. he’s been working tirelessly to care for her, provide for her, and make sure that her last days are as pleasant as possible. my family has never been wealthy, and this is especially true right now while paying for most of her medical expenses (almost entirely because of his worthless siblings--did I mention that one of his brothers is a FUCKING DOCTOR?). but he’s had to balance all of this with a stressful job, too. I can’t really grasp the amount of stress he’s under right now. but to make matters even worse, my grandma has a very advanced stage of dementia. my sweet, loving grandmother is often far away when he’s around. she often criticizes him, snaps at him, constantly complains about the pain she’s in and how she feels like she’s going crazy. and my dad knows that isn’t really her, but I still imagine that it has to hurt when the person you’re breaking your back for is constantly criticizing you. I honestly can’t imagine. it’s just... it’s devastating. so honestly... I think we’ll all be glad when it’s over.

while all this is happening, though, I can’t escape the very real existential thoughts that come with a family member dying. it’s the same kinds of thoughts everyone has: why didn’t I spend more time with her? did I appreciate her enough? why is life so fragile? what happens when we die--really? how do we know? why is time so short? what am I doing with my life? am I wasting it? am I spending it doing what I love? am I spending it with people I love? how much time do I have left? it’s really terrifying, so I try to avoid those thoughts as best I can. but it’s hard.

anyway, in the midst of all of this, Jackson and I just finished Bojack Horseman, an amazing show on Netflix. I had no intention of loving this show. one of my newest and closest friends basically begged us to give it another chance (because we tried it years ago and didn’t like it). but we did, and we got hooked, and we binge-watched all 4 seasons in a little over a week. it’s such an incredible show. I honestly have considered writing an entire whole spiel about it, but haven’t gotten around to it yet. it’s clever and funny, while also being very dark, nihilistic, and uncomfortably real when it comes to depression/anxiety. and while I’ve enjoyed it thoroughly as a beautifully crafted story... a lot of it has struck a little too close to home. the series focuses on a very self-centered and self-destructive protagonist that--spoiler alert--is never really redeemed, which in and of itself is difficult to process. you repeatedly see that his character is deeply flawed, and despite his attempts to confront his abusive past and clear mental illness, he is still horrible and never changes. in most movies and series, at some point something happens that brings the character out of his “funk” and he works toward healing or recovery. Bojack never really does. he is all the things wrong with him and he never fully takes responsibility for it. he hates himself to a debilitating degree, and no matter how much he says he wants to get better, he never does. it’s... distressing. especially for someone like me, who always seeks stories with closure and resolution. Bojack is very unique in its realism, and in a way, kind of slaps you in the face with how dark it is. especially considering it’s a show where some of the characters are animals with human qualities, and it’s hilarious how the Bojack world functions.

anyway... this has kind of been my life recently. trying to wrap my head around my grandma’s impending passing and my inevitable existential dread, coupled with my lack of job and career prospects and consequently still questioning my purpose in life, all while being deeply influenced by a very heavy show that essentially outlines how we’re all flawed individuals that will always be flawed but in order to be decent and functioning people we have to find ways to cope with our trauma and our parents’ trauma while clinging tightly to the relationships that we have or else we’ll be lost to our own self-destructive cycles of depression and abuse.

also I’ve been trying to hang on to my friends, family, and husband, and not let them know how close I am to losing it on a daily basis.

but, as usual, the memes definitely help! :)

[starboundbane]

11 question meme

I try to be mysterious but I love taking about myself

Rules: Answer your set of questions and add 11 of your own

Tagged by: @butwewereanempire *winky face kiss emoji*

1. What is your fondest memory?

I’m not sure. I have some fond memories but most of them were tainted by these people later on hurting me or something bad happening.  Sometimes oddly graphic fond memories come up again though, like scenes in a movie. Pineapple juice with ice cubes with a girl from Ecuador that shared my name. Finding out that the bumblebees in my grandma’s garden went into a little hole in the ground. Having Renée sleeping at my place for the first time and us baking brownies together that we also had for breakfast on toast the next day. Valentine's day this year, me alone at 7am on my balcony in the thickest sweater with a giant mug of green tea, enjoying the cold. Sitting with Laura on the windowsill of her room on the 6th floor, loudly playing fuck-marry-kill at 2am. A night walk in our pajamas through the hotel park with Asia.  Sitting in this jazz café with a red haired boy that later on abandoned me.

2. What is the weirdest and/or dumbest thing you’ve done with your friends (or for them) 

All my friends are terribly weird and so am I, I don’t think anything we’ve ever done was normal. Helping a friend hide the fact that he was building a blunt in the supreme court, for example. The windowsill thing was definitely up there as well, considering the fact that we let ourselves fall backward, hoping that the bed was in the right place (it was). Walking barefoot through the lake and then lying on the gravel yelling “I AM THE SAND GUARDIAN, GUARDIAN OF THE SAND”. That one time i volunteered to pierce 2 girls’ ears in our room during the class trip, while one was half naked because a 3rd girl was dying her hair. I succeeded, they’re very happy with the results.

3. Villains or heroes or anything in between?

Listennn I love me a Good Hopeful Hero that just genuinely wants to do good and help people. Fuck yall, its not boring. But the rule of thumb for me is Anti Hero. I, for one, am an anti hero, and I love anti heroes.

4. What is your biggest pet peeve in any kind of writing

When the writers don’t care enough about the audience the actually make three dimensional, complex, unique, diverse characters. When beloved characters get dragged through the mud because it's easier to write them emotionally stunted, straight, and stereotypical. Amazing and creative plotline possibilities going to waste because million dollar studios are afraid to take risks. Overgoing and tbh insulting fans. I just,,,, care a lot about character writing and I don’t fucking get why you would purposefully do the exact opposite of what your loyal audience wants you to do.

5. What is your ideal aesthetic and what is your honest one?

Ideal: Black and white, dark blue dark red, lilac. Ravenclaw & Slytherin. Books about astrophysics, arched eyebrows behind glasses. Ambition and intelligence. Knives and flowers. Snowy mornings, the sound of your boots/heels hitting the ground when you step into a room with confidence. Holding all the power and knowing it. Plants and the song “Killer queen”. Elegance and oddity. Vampires and Aliens. Smiles through bloody teeth, bold fashion choices. “Okay, so i lied”, “The darker the night the brighter the stars”. Coffee shop dates with your friends, holding a face gently between your hands. Cold eyes turning soft for the right people, dancing with flowy clothes. Studying anything and everything, walking through the streets of a beautiful big city on your own. Shameless flirting and dangerous grins, smooth criminal as your theme song (and a lot more, i have a whole folder)

Honest: Similar, but also: Cold stares and clenched jaws. Purple circles under you eyes, looking into the night sky and sighing wistfully. Sitting alone in a room full of people. Melancholia and nostalgia while aggressively rejecting sentimentality. Planning 3 years ahead. Having no place that feels like home. A not really hidden meaning behind sentences, revealing itself only to those who listen closely enough to analyze the careful choice of words. Aching to live in fiction, or in the future. Staring at people who left you when they can’t see it, wondering why you couldn’t keep them. Telling people you work better alone, when in truth you simply always had to. Bruised knuckles, a poker face with tear-shot eyes.

6. Best breakfast you ever had?

Me and my dad driving to the city to eat in this amazing breakfast restaurant and then walking around the city until noon. I just,,, love that shit.

7. Whats the book you’d like to read but hasn’t been written yet like?

I.. honestly don’t have a good answer to that yet. Maybe sometime later

8. We all have A Type. Whats yours?

Dating wise? I’m somehow into gingers. As a professional bisexual, i must say I prefer boys with light hair, and for girls, i don’t really have a preference. Outside of gender, i must say i like people who are rather the opposite of me. I like sunshines, kind people with big smiles. But i’m also into power-couples, so be my sunshine but also kick somebody’s ass with me. For fictional characters? I honestly don’t know, some characters just draw me in.

9. Out there, in some parallel universe where shit never happened, there is a better version of you - the person you’d like to be. What are they like?

Less troubled, less melancholic. Maybe not constantly abandoned. Not constantly doubting herself, always expecting people not to want her around. A better person, maybe living in the present for once, having a good life for more than 5 hours for once. But other than that I don’t like the idea of “fixing” my issues. They make me who I am. I don’t want to be fixed, i want to be helped

10. What would you get into an argument over?

Most things. I’m a very confrontational person, I let people know when i don’t agree with something, I’m honest about my opinions, and i have said opinions about pretty much everything.

11. 3 things you love when people do and 3 you absolutely hate

love:  - people being genuinely happy to see me - when you and the other person care about each others interests & passions and rant and debate for hours - when somebody stands out in the crowd due to dressing with a unique sense of fashion, and stands up for what and who they believe; Just generally people who light the whole room up when they walk in

hate: - “of course we’re friends!” *proceed to not give a shit about you* - people who ditch you as soon as shit gets complicated because they can’t handle people with problems - When people can’t stand the fact that you’re doing You and living the way you want to, but are also too afraid to tell you what their problem is

My set of questions

1. One fictional character you would like to date, and why

2. Whats an opinion you’re very passionate about at this very moment

3. What do you imagine happiness to be like?

4. If you were a character stereotype used in movies/ games/ books, which one would you be 

5. The aestethic of your favourite field of study

6. What personality traits make you fall in love 3 times quicker than usual

7. What would your ideal café look like?

8. What would be your ideal aesthetic and what is your HONEST one? (keeping this one bc its so good)

9. What’s the person /one of the people you wish you could’ve kept in your life like?

10. Whats a part of your personality that you don’t like to admit

11. What would your romantic relationship ideally be like?

@stevegrantrogers-buckybarnes @soft-raphael @butwewereanempire (if u wanna go again lmao) @schope-nah @an--asexual--assbutt and generally everyone who wants to do this

[azurera]

I know you are supposted to get one in your askbox. but guess what. i dont give a shit, and i’m bored as fuck so i did them all. my memory is shit atm so i dont remember some answers to some of these. and my grammar is shit but do with it what you want. g’night ya’ll ~

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more milk, because i can always drink the extra milk, the other way around you would end up with dry cereal and thats just bleh.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? no

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? everything i can find. most unique thing is probably a 10 Gulden bill (very old dutch currency before the euro) 

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I trow as much crap in my coffee as i possible can, sugar, milk. more milk than coffee. give it to me cold, add alcohol. i dont give a shit. thea is just nice to have a little suger thats it. let me enjoy the flaver itself. 

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? 9/10 times probably yeah

6: do you keep plants? since a few weeks i sometimes get flowers, so you could say i kind of own plants some times. 

7: do you name your plants? i should 

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? i scream into the void

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? no, because i sound terrible 

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side mostly. or when im really tired my back. usually not my stomach because .. well.. boobs. 

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? if i had friends.... no idea tho. i have so many jokes, my life included. 

12: what's your favorite planet? PLUTO. VIVA LA PLUTO. the little rings on saturn are also nice. shit this could have been a nice opportunity to make a uranus joke.. 

13: what's something that made you smile today? i didnt

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? lots of pillows

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! 99% of our soular system’s mass is the sun

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? i dont know. but those swirly things are cute. 

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? every. colour. at. once.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. i try to stack those memories far far away. 

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? i dont 

20: what's your favorite eye color? i dont have a favorite eye colour. but i love eyes that look like space nebulas. 

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. i bought a nice leather bag on castlefest. its very usefull nice and small but it can fit more in it than you think. 

22: are you a morning person? if by morning you mean still awake at 4, then yes. 

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? lay my dead body to rest on my couch and cuddel with my cat

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? probably not

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? my own house? i dont really break into places. 

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? i have to many shoes man..

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? the really over the top fruity onces

28: sunrise or sunset? sunset, (becouse im not a fucking morning person) 

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? im thinking of to many things at once and yet nothing comes up. 

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? way to many times. 

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. i only own black socks, becouse then you never have the problem of looking for a pair. sometimes im all for socks, i wear them even when i take of all my other clothes just becouse they are soft and then i wear them to bed and they magicaly disappear. but since i wear dresses a lot i also wear panty’s and stuff. so its not always socks. 

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. usually that invloves a lot of alcohol. which means that i don’t really rememeber a lot. (which is also probably for the better) 

33: what's your fave pastry? pie

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i think it was a little lion called simba. and im sure its in a box somewhere. 

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? yes i love them. but i dont use them a lot becouse a) not many people write me letters and b) i could. write them first. but obviously im a lazy fuck. 

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? i just really prefer silence right now. 

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i like keeping it clean, but we all know thats not happening. 

38: tell us about your pet peeves! i do not know right now. i think

39: what color do you wear the most? black..... 

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? the 3 things I always wear are a ring my grandma got me, a ring my mother bought for my 18 birthday that she switched her old wedding rings for. and a mjolnor necklace. I just saw so many people with one. and i really wanted to have one aswell, but not just any, so i went and looked all over this fantasy event and i’ve honestly seen every single mjolnor necklace they had, and then i picked this one. 

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? the girl on the train was a nice book (the film a little less)  it was just nice to have a book that i could go through quickly. 

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! not really 

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? god its been to long... 

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? i still wish for this day... 

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? mmmaybe

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. i can not make one up right now. i need to have the righ feel in the right moment. 

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? PINAPPLE ON PIZZA, PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA, PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? death. yes.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I only own a few CD’s, and a few LP’s the last one i think was a supernatural christmas cd thing.

50: what's an odd thing you collect? those prayer cards with the picture of the person, you get at a funeral. i have quite a lot of them, so you could say i collect them. 

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? suddenly

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? i like the “you cant xx if you don’t xxx” memes. those make for some good jokes. other than that i make my own memes, fresh and local. 

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? only parts... i should watch them shouldn’t i..

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? u know who u are.. im sorry.. 

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? i secretly moved out in a pretty dramatic way to prove my mom that i couldnt go on like that... 

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? when they shut the fuck up

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? i do not feel like listening to it now, thats how its making me feel. 

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? im both.

59: what's your favorite myth? nice people are my favorite mythical creatures. 

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? im not really into poetry tho, but sometimes there is one thats just nice, discribing beaty in such a subtle way, that i like it. 

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? i don’t give stupid gifts. people either get something epic from me or nothing at all. go big or go home. 

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? ive been drinking this strawberry/apple/ bananna juice stuff sometimes, makes me feel like i try to be healthy. 

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? i keep them in an organized mess (just like my life) 

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? its a lovely gradient of light blue/white/ to a bit darker blue. 

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? so many people, i suck at being social. 

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? ALL THE COLORS

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? sometimes its nice to stare out of the window on those days. 

68: what's winter like where you live? shitty 

69: what are your favorite board games? i like playing monopoly and slowly see the light dissappear from my friends eyes. or cluedo you know, murder. 

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? its this one thea they have at the cinema, the pink one. the rosy stuff. its so good. 

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? i should note it down. but then i forget to read it. so yeah, ill mess up either way. 

73: what are some of your worst habits? i tent to complain a lot, becouse i always hope it will make me feel better when there is to much going on in my head. but sometimes i just keep going, and i dont even know how bad its getting, and i probably pull myself down into some negative spiral and well then we’re fucked again.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. you fucking pancakes. 

75: tell us about your pets! MY CAT IS THE MOST ADORABLE LITTLE SHIT, HE IS SO CUTE. AND LOVES CUDDLES. AND HIS FLUFFYNESS IS. i can keep going forever. 

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? its getting pretty late. i should sleep. 

77: pink or yellow lemonade? mmmpink? 

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? i hate them. 

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? im trying to think of one. but my memmory is shit atm. 

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? just white. makes it look bigger. 

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. NEBULAS

82: are/were you good in school? soommeeetimessss

83: what's some of your favorite album art? I do like GACKT his album art tho. the costumes he wears are nice.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? i have been thinking of this design of a music G thingy that looks like a cat. its really cute. but i cant even commit to where i put a sticker let a lone where to put a tattoo. 

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? i have quite a lot of constantine comics, to satisfy the fact that the series quit after 1 season. 

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? no idea

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? stonehenge appocalpyse

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? not sure

89: are you close to your parents? *crying sounds* 

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. i love all cities except the one i live in. Im such a slut for older building and architecture. old gothic churches man. oh my god. 

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? france, for sad stuff, and i hope to see my german potato this year <3 if i can make it... 

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? SMOTHER THE FUCKER IN CHEESE. 

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? just long, straight now. or either in like a clip. when its to hot  to have it all down. 

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? i saw on my calander at internship that one collegue had his birthday today. 

95: what are your plans for this weekend? convention staff meeting on saturday, looking into something for sunday.. 

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? *hysterical laughter*  

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? no idea, leo, huffelpuf

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? in germany i think. to long ago. i love mountains, and walks, and beaches. 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. PIANO’S 

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the past to kill myself. :”D absoluutly.

[enchanted-flowers]

How would US Papyrus and UT sans deal with an S/O who was a total social media and just plain technology newb (like doesn't even know what memes or hashtags are) and is basically barely understanding society with its "confounded techno lingo" (just wondering since this was literally me up until two months ago)

Undertale Sans

“okay so a hashtag is used on twitter...”

“So like this?” you type out a trending hashtag. 

“no no. no space sweetheart. keep it all one word.” Sans patiently explains. 

“That’s stupid. It makes it hard to read,” you complain, but type it out anyway.

“i know, but that’s how it is,” the skeleton shrugs. 

“Are you sure this is how I’ll be able to connect with the teenagers better?”

The skeleton nods, taking your phone. He types out the word ‘memes’ on Google and gives you back your phone, explaining the term and the logistics of internet jokes. 

“C-Cash me outside, how about that?” 

Sans snickers and you shoot him a glare. 

“you’re saying it all wrong sweetheart. say it like i do,” Sans explains the proper way of saying it and you throw your phone on the couch in frustration. 

You’re never gonna learn this! How are you supposed to connect with Frisk and their friends now? You feel like a 80 year old elderly person when you’re nowhere near that age. Heck you bed a grandma has more internet lingo than you.

“why don’t we take a break and try again tomorrow? i’m beat,” your boyfriend stretches, pulling you close to him and giving you a kiss on the cheek.  

You grab his wrist and pout, not wanting him to leave just yet, “Sans please, just one more time? I promise I’ll get it.”

Sans sighs and sits back down and continue instructing. Eventually, you and him both fall asleep, your bodies intertwined in such a small space. Your soul flutters lightly during your sleep, appreciating how Sans stayed up just to help you out. You couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend. 

In the morning, the doorbell rings, waking you and Sans up. Oh crap! You overslept! You ask Sans to answer the door while you get ready, brushing your teeth and throwing on a fresh pair of clothes. You meet Frisk and some of her friends in the living room who all greet you with a smile. 

“CASH ME OUTSIDE HOWBOUTDA” you loudly proclaim, believing that you made a good impression on Frisk and their friends. 

Well you made an impression alright. 

Sans howls with laughter, actual tears streaming from his eye sockets, while Frisk and their friends all visibly cringe, one kid can’t even look at you in the eye anymore. The human ambassador smile politely, but you can tell that you just murdered their innocence. 

“(y/n) please don’t ever do that again,” Frisk pleads. 

You blush furiously and nod, deciding to never speak again. Oh man, you wish you can jump off a bridge right now, there’s no coming back from this one. 

“have fun you guys,” Sans winks at you, shooing you all out the door and leaving you alone with a bunch of teenagers. 

Welp. It’s going to be a long afternoon. 

Underswap Papyrus

“Eyyyyy what are  thoseee” Papyrus points at your feet as you enter your hous. 

“Uhm, shoes?” you tilt your head in confusion. 

“DAMN DANIEL BACK AGAIN WITH THE WHITE VANS!” Stretch laughs, knowing full well that you won’t understand. 

“THESE ARE NEITHER WHITE NOR VANS! PLEASE SPEAK ENGLISH!” you cry, not appreciating being laughed at. 

Stretch chuckles, kissing you on the cheek, “Never change, hon.” 

Your boyfriend disappears into his room, leaving you confused and alone in the hallway. Okay, that’s it. You’ve had enough of this. At first, the teasing was funny, but now? You can’t stand it. Being the rational adult that you are, you should probably go upstairs and have a civil, mature discussion about this with your beloved boyfriend. Or. Or. You can pull an all nighter learning everything you can about the internet so he can never make fun of you again. Yeah. Let’s do that. 

Later that night, you wait for Stretch to fall asleep to enact your planning. As his arms curl around you, you nudge him softly, making sure he is really asleep. When he doesn’t stir, you confirm it’s safe and make your way out of his hold. But every inch you move away from him, the skeleton just pulls you back into his arms, nuzzling in your neck. You let out a huff of frustration. This would be extremely cute in a different situation. After thirty minutes of your fruitless endeavour, you whisper loudly so he would wake up. 

“Paps, I need to pee,” you hiss. 

Stretch grumbles and lets you go, falling back asleep instantly. You tuck a pillow under his arms so he won’t notice your absence. Grabbing your phone and headphones, you make your way to the couch downstairs and wrap yourself in a warm blanket. You enter in the password and Bing a single word. Memes. Everything floods at you all at once like a rainbow burst from your screen, shooting you right into your mind. Doge, Spongebob, Twitter, Protips, Damn Daniel, Kermit, Salt bae, you absorbed it all like a sponge, and for the first time in your entire life, you are awake. How did you ever live your life before this? How did you ever live without the beauty of internet jokes? You have truly gone through a....memesformation. 

You must’ve fallen asleep at some point because the next thing you know, Stretch is shaking you awake, “Hon? Are you okay? Why are you on the couch?”

“Wha...?” you blink the sunlight out of your eyes and try to remember what the hell happened last night. Suddenly, everything comes back to you, “OH SHIT WHADDUP!” 

“Excuse me?” Stretch steps back in surprise. 

You crack a wide grin, leaping off the couch, “You can’t make fun of me anymore, Paps! I know everything! I’ve seen everything! You can no longer tease me about this anymore!” 

The skeleton’s eye socket widens as he clutches his chest, falling to his knees at your mercy, “No, babe. Tell me you did not. Tell me there’s still a piece of the old you inside. Please, I’m begging you.” 

You smirk cruelly, twisting the knife in even further, “I even made...a reddit account.” 

999999 damage. Congratulations. You’ve become a meme loving fuck and now your boyfriend lives in fear of your meme powers. There is not a day that goes by without you acting out or sending him a meme. You finally have your revenge. 

[boysinthecity]

Reverse Heroine | II

parts: ➳ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 / ?

a supposedly only 2 part fic ft. fuckboy!jungkook x

 reader

summary: because platonic love is underrated

genre: college au, fluff/angst idk?

word count: 5.1k

a/n: I probably fluctuated too much with the comedy and angst on this but because i wrote on different days it just really goes by my mood. i also probably should stop thinking that I’m being really funny because i’m laughing at my own jokes like its so sad somebody halp me. 

shoutout to the cutest baby that i need to protect from Jungkook the rude hip thrusting brat: @mintmintyoongi you’re so cute and sweet omg my grandma heart is alive and well when i think of you

let me know what you guys think of the new chapter!

              After the interruption from the well-loved couple, the party resumed to its previous state. Smashed students downing on drinks and- wait, is that Kim Taehyung doing a keg stand right now? You shake your head in amusement; that boy never fails to go all out during parties. You’ve already walked around the frat house twice in search for Jungkook, seeing way too much going on for your liking, but the boy was still nowhere to be found. Popping a couple of beers yourself, your bladder was now urgently sending a signal – yep, it was definitely an emergency. You run to the closest bathroom, hand on the knob to find girl on the counter and your favourite fratboy standing between her legs, lips locked like they were about to devour each other.

               The caramel locks are recognizable at first sight, which are currently entangled in Jungkook’s hand like a wild animal. The sophomore has taken it too far this time, messing around with someone like her. With anger bubbling in your stomach, you pull on Jungkook’s t-shirt, separating the bodies apart. With some space between the two, you realize that the girl was indeed Park Sora – daughter of President Park of the director’s board. She looks embarrassed and flustered in being caught in action, immediately closing her legs together in hopes of saving her prim and proper image.

               “You’re coming with me, Jeon.” A hiss comes out of your mouth and Jungkook makes no attempt to resist, he was smart enough to know not to mess with you when you were fuming.

               Dragging the drunken body outside, you muster all your strength and throw Jungkook onto the ground. He groans in pain at the contact and your heartstrings tug for a second before returning to your iron expression once again.

               “It’s only grass, Jeon. You’ve been slammed countless of times like this in football, stop pretending like it actually hurts.” You roll your eyes as you wait for the boy to get up on his feet. The fresh and brisk air outside seems to have Jungkook sobered up a bit, who tries to push through you to get into the house again.

               “Leave me alone, loser.” He mutters, alcohol stenching his breath. “I have to get back to Sora.”

               You pull him back to stand in front of you, hands tugging on the collar of his shirt. “I’m saving your ass, you idiot! If President Park finds out about you messing with his precious little daughter, you can kiss your sports scholarship goodbye!”

               Your hands release Jungkook when he seems to finally realize the situation that he got himself in, no longer demanding to get back inside. He sucks in a breath of cold air as he kicks the grass on the lawn, obviously aware of the consequences of his actions but still pissed off that you called him out like that.

               “Kook, I thought you were better than this.” You groan, pulling your messy locks back from falling forwards. “You-you know that you shouldn’t mess with girls like that. She’s going to take everything for serious! And I can’t let you hurt her like that”

               Everything falls silent. Too tired to keep yelling at your friend, you watch as Jungkook stands before you – head looking down with his bangs covering his eyes. The climax of the party continues in the back of the house, muffled music filling up the dead space between you and Jungkook. The unsettling tension is making you crazy until he finally decides to speak again.

               “What if the one that’s hurt is me?” Jungkook looks at you for the first time since the two of you have been outside. His eyes are bloodshot and watery, and his pained expression makes your heart clench in sympathy.

               “What?” A soft sound escapes your lips, confused to what Jungkook was saying. “What are you even sayi-”                

               “I lied. I lied to you, Y/N.” Jungkook whispers. “That night, when you asked me if I ever loved someone before and I told you that I didn’t.” He continues when you pull his hand into yours as support, feeling relieved at the contact. “I was wrong.” Jungkook looks up into the night sky, in attempt to keep his gleaming tears from falling. But it was no use, it was just too easy to be himself – not the infamous bad boy that the campus knew him as – whenever you’re around.

              “That feeling you mentioned, I didn’t- I just didn’t know what you were talking about. Until today, when I saw Jimin’s hands around her.”

               Jungkook takes a deep breath and shudder, needing a moment to get over his rush of emotions that was overwhelming him. You take this time to bring him to the sidewalk curb, sitting down with him beside you.

               “I’m in love, Y/N. With my own fucking best friend.” A series of soft cries escape from Jungkook’s lips, leaning onto your shoulder as support. You didn’t realize that he was crying until you felt his tears staining your skin underneath the t-shirt. You should’ve noticed the signs. It was bound to happen – the way he looks at her, the way he smiles when she does, and the way he suffers when he saw Jimin with his beloved. You should have realized that Jeon Jungkook was in love with Lee Daeun.

               Wrapping your arm around the boy, you slowly smooth down his back, trying to give the best form of comfort as you can. It hurts you as well, seeing your friend breakdown in front of you like that. You understood that at times like these, all you really needed was a shoulder to cry on and a person to listen to you.

              “I know it’s hard, Kook. Just let it all out.” You whisper, feeling him tighten his embrace around you. Jungkook was drunk for sure, but it was the fact that he was drunk which made him able to express the feelings that he would have never done when sober. A regular bystander would have been confused at the scene of a tall and built boy hunched over a small girl like you for support. But that was the friendship you had with Jungkook, and you wouldn’t settle for anything less.

                 After a few minutes of silence, Jungkook was finally able to stop his sobbing and waterworks. He finally calms down and looks up at you in a pout.

              “You lied too, Y/N.” He frowns like an upset puppy. “You told me that it would be the best feeling ever but I just feel like shit right now.”

              Oh, he was definitely drunk. You never thought you would be alive to see the day where Jeon Jungkook is acting cute in front of you but boy, are you impressed at how good of a job he was doing. Letting out a small chuckle, you pinch his little scrunched up nose.

              “Come on, you big baby. Let’s get you some rest.”

              You swore to yourself that dragging up a drunk Kim Taehyung would be the last of your encounters with drunk frat boys. You were wrong. Dealing with a drunk Jeon Jungkook was a whole new experience. The boy acted like he was 7 again, curious at everything he saw - including that very interesting Alpha Sig flag hung against the wall - as if he hasn’t been seeing it everyday since he entered college.

              After a tedious journey up the stairs, you turn right to bring Jungkook into his room. He falls onto his bed like a bowl of cooked spaghetti, making you laugh at the scene before you. It was not the first time you’ve been in his room, Jungkook always invited you over to chill whenever another girl wasn’t keeping him occupied or when Daeun wasn’t spending time with him. You still remember the first time when you met his roommate – “A GIRL ON JUNGKOOK’S BED THAT HE’S NOT FUCKING? Unbelievable.” – Yep, Jung Hoseok was definitely a memorable character. Without Jungkook constantly bothering you to show you his collection of funny memes and dog videos – which you swear, is like a bottomless pit – you could finally settle down to observe the artwork plastered on his walls.

              It is easy to forget sometimes that Jeon Jungkook is an Art Major. But honestly, who doesn’t, when all he does is fuck girls in his spare time. Taking in a moment to admire his pieces, you realize that Jungkook doesn’t really like drawing people – most of his canvas illustrate breath-taking sceneries and complex building artwork. You were about to reach for his personal sketchbook – laid on top of his drawer – when a sound interrupts you.

              A person behind you clears his throat to capture your attention. It was probably Hoseok though, curious to why Jungkook was in his bed when a party was going on downstairs. You realized that you probably had to make up a story to why Alpha Sig’s favourite sophomore was now partially passed out and hopefully, get some help with the very handful baby ‘Kookie’ – yes, Jungkook’s currently referring to himself in third person. Don’t ask why.

              “Hey, Hobi. Jungkook and I were jus-”

              The air in your throat gets stuck when you meet eyes with him, the one that you’d been low-key avoiding since you’ve befriended Jungkook. And it wasn’t Jung Hoseok standing at the doorway.

              “So, you and Jeon, huh?” A familiar low voice speaks in the dark, as President of Alpha Sig – Kim Namjoon – walks into the room. “I never would’ve guessed.”

              Great, it was your turn to be all emotional and overwhelmed. But you really shouldn’t. It’s already been like – what, three years? – since your last encounter with him. You were going to approach Namjoon with confidence, you’ve decided, you were no longer the shy teenage girl that asked him for help in Mathematics.

              “Hey Joon, it’s been a long time.” You break into a smile, hoping that he wouldn’t see past your mask. “Great party, I must say.”

              If you had only one word to describe Namjoon right now, it would be that he actually looks displeased at your lack of hostility towards him. It made sense though. Girls were either screaming at him in anger, sobbing uncontrollably over their heartbreak, or smiling like a vixen trying to get his attention. After all, it just wasn’t easy being the President of the biggest fraternity at school.

              Namjoon takes a step closer to you, his lips between his fingers and looking a bit nervous. “I didn’t know that you came to our parties, Peanut.” You can’t help but quiver at the nickname that he had given you back in high school, it had been so long since you’ve heard that word again.

              “Peanut, for your short size.” The dimples on Namjoon’s cheeks deepen as he grins, obviously very proud of the nickname he had come up with.

              “I’m not short, Joon. You’re just a giant.” You mutter as you feign irritation, eyes not leaving the page in the textbook. But who were you kidding, how could you be focused when Kim Namjoon – the senior that you had been crushing on for 4 years – is now sitting in front of you, teaching you calculus.

              “Fine by me.” He laughs. “That makes me even better at protecting my little peanut then.” Namjoon’s deep voice echoed in the library, earning an angry ‘shh’ from the librarian, and making you giggle.

              Hiding the smile that was tugging at your lips, you raise your head to return the older boy’s gaze. “Perhaps you should protect yourself from Mrs. Oh’s flaming fury first.” Your eyes twinkle with playfulness, and the both of you burst into a small fit of laughter.

               In your eyes, nobody shined brighter than Kim Namjoon. You had invested all your feelings and time towards the older boy, and although neither of you openly expressed your affection towards each other, you just knew that Namjoon felt the same way you did. And when he announced that he was heading to Seoul for university, it broke your heart and you went home crying for 5 hours – straight.

               “You’ll come join me, right?” Everyone had already gone home after school, with only several student council members left to complete some unfinished work. You and Namjoon stood outside the school building, on a break before joining the rest of the members. “It would be really nice if we went to the same university, you know.” The tender smile on his lips make you blush, although your heart still clenched at the fact that he was leaving you.

               “Yeah.” You mumble, looking away as you lean against the metal rail in attempt to hide your sadness. And in a split second, Namjoon closes the distance between the two of you until you could feel his body up against your own. It was the closest that you had ever been with the boy.

               “Say it like you mean it.” A low whisper erupts from Namjoon’s throat. “I won’t take no for an answer.” His fingers wrap around your face to bring you closer, and his grip loosens when you finally meet his gaze.

               “I’ll be there. So please wait for me, Joon.” You breathe and smile, faces still close to each other as you take a moment to appreciate the warmth that was being emitted from him.

               In your final year of high school, you studied harder than you ever had in your life, with dreams of joining Namjoon at one of the top universities in Korea. There was no time to play and spend time with your friends, dedicating all your efforts to make it to your dream school. All your classmates and friends were surprised at how determined you were, unknown to the implicit vow between you and Kim Namjoon. It was difficult to understand how you had the faith to keep going, despite the fact that you had stopped contacting Namjoon after his graduation. And even when you received your much anticipated acceptance letter, you kept it as a secret, hoping to surprise him when September comes.

               But perhaps he couldn’t wait long enough.

              “You should’ve told me, I would’ve kept you company.” Namjoon smiles, acting as if there wasn’t any awkwardness sitting in the background. “What kind of a host would I be if I didn-” You raise your hand to stop him, not interested in continuing this small talk.

              “Look Joon, I don’t know what you’re trying to do here and I’m not interested in playing your little games. Honestly, what do you even want fro-”

              “I missed hearing that.”

              “What.”

              “I missed being called Joon.”

              You can’t help but scoff. “Well,” The music from below suddenly dulls down, as if your ears automatically block the sound out. “you’ve lost your chance already.” There was not a hint of wavering in your words, it was full of confidence and determination – and Namjoon didn’t like that one bit.

              The rooms still into an awkward silence, until Namjoon’s voice erupts in sudden anger. “Why-“ His voice cracks, his tone higher than usual. “WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT EVEN MAD AT ME?” He shouts as the surge of frustration pent throughout the years rise in his veins. “Can’t you just do something- something. Yell at me, scream at me! Fucking hit me for goodness sake- because I’m sure as hell know I deserve it!”

              You respond to Namjoon’s emotional outburst with a poker face, waiting for him to calm down before replying. “I can’t hold you against on some unspoken promise that we made as kids, Joon. It was child’s play for good-“

              “So that’s all it was to you? A little joke that we made as teenagers? God Y/N- did you even care about me before?” His body was now so threateningly close to you, and if you just lifted your arm to reach for him, you would be able to touch that face that you had missed so dearly, but you can’t – you were no longer the naïve high school girl that believed in the lies that he fed you with. “Your passive attitude really pisses the fuck out of me sometimes, you know.”

              And then it hits you, all the heartbreak and sadness from 3 years ago comes running back like a truck slamming against your side. You were just so sick of being misunderstood, pretending like you didn’t give a shit just to mask the constant ache that you were suffering from. “I’d been in love with you for 3 years before you even knew that I’d existed! And now you’re accusing me of never loving you back? God, Kim Namjoon, you’re just- you’re so dense sometimes, you know?” You pause to catch your breath before angrily running your fingers through your hair.

              “Well, you obviously don’t show it enou-”

              “Do you honestly not know why?” A cold laugh escapes your lips. “How could I? How am I supposed to forget the fact that you left me alone at my first party in college, only to find another girl’s mouth wrapped around your dick?”

              “Peanut, I-”

              “And you know what’s the most pathetic part? It must be the goddamn muscle memory because my heart still clenches in pain whenever I see you!” You explode, screaming as your tears stream uncontrollably down your cheeks. “It’s like a fucking constant reminder of how much I loved you before. And it hurts – a lot.”

              Namjoon looks stunned at your outburst, hands reaching to wipe your tears away, but you slap it away from you – not wanting him to touch you at all. “You said you would protect me, but the only thing that I needed protecting from is you.” Your voice was as quiet as a whisper now, suddenly feeling drained from releasing your emotions.

              Seeing you like this, all he wanted to do was to pull you into an embrace and hug you really, really tightly, as if he could squeeze out all the tears so that you wouldn’t be sad anymore. But like you said, he knew he had already lost his chance – so he maintains his distance before speaking again. “I was young, reckless, and really fucking stupid, okay? I know I messed up, and I wish that words could express how sorry I am but-” Namjoon croaks, unable to finish his sentence. “God, you’re making a mistake with Jeon here.”

              “We’re just friends.” You murmur. “Just leave us alone, Joon. I’m too tired to talk anymore.”

              The Alpha Sig President gives you one more look in the eye, knowing that it was useless to try to convince you right now – not when you were unwilling to talk to him.

              “I’ll go, Peanut.” He mumbles, “But don’t think that I’m going to give up on you like that. I messed up once, I’m not going to do it twice.” Namjoon smiles softly with determination, then turns around and exits the room.

              God, you were such a mess right now. You swore that you would never let Kim Namjoon emotionally wreck you like that – but here you are again. You could feel your makeup running down your face and body sticky with all that spilled vodka and perspiration, needing a shower. Grabbing a clean towel from Jungkook’s drawer, you enter his shared bathroom with Hoseok, ready to clean yourself up. As the bedroom dims when you shut the bathroom door behind you, Jungkook lies on his bed – eyes opening and facing the ceiling.

              Showers are magical, and you thank the Ancient Greeks for this wonderful invention. Feeling refreshed and clean, you walk out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around your wet hair. However, it still slightly bothered you that you were wearing your dirty and alcohol stenched clothes, but there wasn’t much you could do about it though.

              “Mmmpfh…” Jungkook groans, face rubbing against his pillow when the light from the bathroom stirs him in his sleep. You walk over to sit on the edge of the bed, smoothing out his bed head through your fingers.

              “Hey Kook, you feeling better now?” You chuckle at his squished cheek, making his lips perch like a rubber duck. “I used your shower by the way, I hope that’s okay with you.” Jungkook lets out a muffled ‘Mmmm’ as a response, probably still semi-conscious for trying to rupture his kidney.

              “I’m going to head home now, the party’s probably ending soon. I’ll go let Hoseok know and-”

              “No. Stay.” Jungkook’s arm suddenly wraps around your waist, whining like a baby.

              Yeah. He’s definitely still drunk.

              “I can’t. You know I can’t fall asleep in dirty clothes.” You laugh, trying to untangle his tight hold around you. But you underestimated him, a drunk Jeon was still a strong Jeon.

              “Just take something from my closet, or something…” Jungkook’s voice ends up being a mumble and you were sure that he wasn’t going to let go unless you were here to stay.

              “Fine, fine. I’ll stay.” You reassure him, which oddly reminds you of how a mother talks to her child. “Just let me go get changed first.”

              “You promise?”

              “I promise.”

              Jungkook cautiously releases his arm, eyes following your figure as he watches you walk to the closet – feeling relieved that it wasn’t the door instead. The boy looks away to give you some privacy when you start removing your jacket, before grabbing something from his wardrobe.

              After changing, you slip into the covers beside Jungkook, feeling warm at the body heat that he was emitting. With the comforter softly wrapping around your body, you were surrounded by Jungkook’s smell. Honestly, you had expected it to be a combination of wet dog and freshly mowed grass – not that you had imagined what his sheets would smell like before – but instead, it was a mixture of washed cotton sheets with a hint of sea breeze. And you definitely didn’t hate it. It wasn’t in your nature to just sleep with a boy like this, making you wonder if you were stepping outside the boundaries with Jungkook. But then again, you trusted him. Jungkook would do nothing to hurt you, just like how you would make sure that nothing could harm him.

              Your worrying thoughts eventually carry you past the stage of consciousness, falling into deep slumber and mind wandering to dreamland.

              You would imagine waking up to a boy to be something like – opening your eyes to find his chest right in front you, arms wrapped tightly around your waist, and his gentle, even breaths on the top of your head. You also guessed that if Jeon Jungkook had the experience of sleeping with so many girls, he would have at least decent sleeping etiquette. But boy, were you wrong.

              Instead, you find yourself on the carpet floor, shivering cold without a single blanket around. Jungkook’s head slowly appears in your vision, peering at you from above with eyes still half closed.

              “Why the fuck are you down there, loser?” He mumbles incoherently, obviously still dazed from his sleep.

              You take a deep breath. “Don’t get angry…don’t get angry.” Shutting your eyes, you talk to yourself to calm this raging fireball that was threatening to explode. “He’s going through a bad heartbreak right, be nice…be kind…be considera-”

              “Stop talking to yourself like that, you’re being weird – why am I even friends with you?”

              That’s it.              

              Grabbing the pillow on the bed, you quickly raise to your feet and slam it against his face. Jungkook’s face falls flat onto his mattress like a ragdoll, before a loud groan escapes from his throat. The boy would never lose any opportunity to be dramatic – you’ve realized. Finally, after a long moment of ‘recovery’ – even though it’s a pillow for goodness’ sake – Jungkook turns his head to glare at you in a very threatening way – he thinks.

              “What was that for!” He whines, hands still clutching his cheek where you had hit him.

              “Punishment for kicking me off the bed, you brat.” You mutter angrily. “And being an asshole this early in the morning – I didn’t get my coffee to deal with you yet.”

              Jungkook frowns at your rough attitude, obviously missing the gentleness you had talked to him with last night. “I don’t care, it still hurts.”

              “Dude, it’s practically feathers and-“

              “I don’t care. Make me breakfast as compensation.” He grumpily crosses his arms – but quickly stands up when he sees you walking away from him. “Wait– where are you going?”

              Turning your head, you peek to smile devilishy at Jungkook.

              “Kookie, you should’ve just told me that you wanted to try my cooking.”

              And Jungkook’s cheeks redden furiously.

               When Jungkook requested that you make breakfast for him, you didn’t know that he was going to be following you wherever you went. He was constantly asking whether you needed help doing this, doing that – desperate to take part in this ‘fun activity’, he quotes. But honestly, getting Jungkook to stay away from the scorching stove and sharp knives would be the biggest help he can bring. So instead, you handed him small tasks to keep him occupied, like washing the rice and potatoes for the stew.

               “Why do we need this many potatoes for 2 people anyways? I’m a big eater but I can’t eat that much.” He groans, but still diligently scrubbing the root vegetables with a brush.

               “Jungkook, I’m not going to breakfast for only two people when there’s a whole pack of hungry wolves- I mean boys in this house.” You chuckle lightly at your own joke – god, you crack yourself up sometimes.

               “Uh – yes, you can.” He states matter of a factly. “We can just let them starve!” You feel his grin at the back of your head, amused at the idea of making his brothers suffer in hunger.

               “That would be mean, you little shit.” The kitchen starts to fill with the smell of pork bone, simmering in low boiling heat. “And you know, I’m just too nice of a person to do that.” Jungkook groans and mutters something unintelligible, the running water blocking out his sounds. “Why are you so grumpy anyway? Last time I checked, you’re too old to get cranky after waking up.”

               The sound of the water running stops behind you, feeling Jungkook’s presence right beside. He seems unwilling to move away unless you give him your full, undivided attention. You mouth ‘what’ at the boy and he is still carrying that frown on his face.

               “Are you seriously asking me that?” He squints his eyes narrowly at you. “You had only one job, Y/N.” Jungkook’s hand is now holding yours, stopping you from stirring the stew. He was really keen on making you stop multi-tasking, huh? “And you decided to mess that up by wearing Hobi hyung’s clothes instead of mine!”

               You let out a loud and very unattractive snort, amused to what was keeping the boy so bothered all morning. “You guys share the same closet, how am I supposed to know?” You shrug apathetically, stifling the smirk on your lips from upsetting Jungkook even more.

               “Mine is obviously the side with the better clothes, duh.” Jungkook replies. “And what kind of girl wears this when she’s stealing from a guy’s wardrobe.” He points to your fuzzy green sweater and loose sweatpants that was mopping dust everywhere you went.

               You slap his hand away, before resuming on stirring your stew. “Hey! Don’t make fun of Hobi’s sense of style like that. It just so happens to be that I love this look, okay?”

               Jungkook groans, leaving you alone to go back to his dirty and neglected potatoes. “God, do you know how many girls nag me to wear my t-shirts? That’s what normal girls do, okay? They steal a loose tee that shows off their legs, with goals of igniting a man’s protectiveness ov-”

               “AGHHHHHH!” A loud, animal-like screech come out from the sofa in the living room. You and Jungkook turn heads to the source of the sound, finding Hoseok running over to you like a wild horse. He puts his hands on your shoulders, leaning in a bit too close for your liking.

               “Y/N!” He gasps, still catching his breath for waking up too abruptly. “Did – did something…happen between us last night?” Hoseok’s eyes are widened to an abnormal size, strangely reminding you of an owl.

               “Hobi, you slept on the sofa whole night.” You snort again, but still trying to sound convincing that nothing weird happened between the two of you. And Hoseok’s panicked expression finally dissipate at your words.

               “Oh...Oh right.” He slows down, finally giving you a space to breathe. “But why are you wearing my clothes?” He asks, confused to how his favorite green sweater was on you. Your index finger immediately points to the boy beside you without a moment of hesitation.

               “Jungkook told me that his clothes were too precious and told me to wear yours because they were ugly.” You innocently blinked at Hoseok, feeling Jungkook’s widen eyes evolve into a glare burning a hole at the side of your face.

               There was a brief pause before Jung Hoseok let out his most ear-destroying cry yet.

               As expected, food was the true love of all living males. The aroma of your freshly made breakfast attracted the whole house to the kitchen, wanting to get a taste of food that made their mouths salivate. It was rare that homemade food existed in the house, let alone a piping hot breakfast that was perfect for post-party hangover. Even Min Yoongi, a non-believer of mornings, decided to join the rest of the boys for the meal.

               Jungkook was cautiously sitting away from Hoseok, who you’ve always thought to possess a deadly uppercut– and proved your point today. The younger boy chewed his rice angrily beside you, still unpleased with your little joke from before. You cheerfully pick a huge piece of meat from the table, putting into Jungkook’s bowl as a peace offering.

               “Don’t think that I’ve forgiven you yet.” He mumbles, but takes a bite of the meat without hesitation.

               Breakfast had successfully brought all of Alpha Sig – Kim Namjoon included – together for a nice bonding time with overlapping conversation so loud that nobody had even noticed the sound of the front door opening. Kim Taehyung was just grabbing the last piece of rolled omelette when a female voice catches the attention of the whole table.

               “Wow, it really smells amazing in here! Is there some left for me?” Lee Daeun walks into the dining room – her long, straight hair swaying behind her as she makes way to sit with Jimin.

              You don’t fail to notice how Jungkook freezes at the sight of his best friend – the one that he’s so deeply in love with.

[silentgirl13-blog1]

Silent Girl

So, it's probably taken me close to a year to have the balls to try and tell this story. Since the first incident, more has occurred. Today, as I was having dinner with my in-laws, I decided that I need to get this off my chest to a community of people who can either relate, feel my frustration, or even comment things I wish I could say.

It starts like this. I have been married about 3.5 years now. I moved away from home roughly 3 months after I got married to live with my husband, (who was in the Army) a few thousand miles away from our home town. The relationship that I had with his family was good. His mother didn't approve of the wedding at first, but his dad and step-mom did. They were full on supportive, and welcomed me with open arms. His mother didn't hate me, she just wasn't ready for her son to be married. She is very practical. I obviously was hurt, but she soon changed her tone. The problems started after maybe 2 years of being away from family. Because we were so far away, we became a bit secluded. We didn't text very often, due to time difference and schedules being completely unknown. They had two young kids, and by the time we were home from work, had dinner and relaxed, it was past the time we could contact them. We both had members of our family pass away. We were thankfully able to go home for the funerals, etc. I have really bad anxiety and depression. Being so far away, I kind of lost myself a little bit. Between losing my Aunt, my pet bunny passed away (hubby and I got him when we first started dating, but couldn't move with him, so my family kept him for me) and my mom was diagnosed with cancer. I was in a very very rough spot. My depression got so bad, I was put on medicine. The medicine helped for about 2 months, and then I started cutting due to the side effects. This went on for about 2 months before I told anyone. My husband was devastated. My mom, sister (who dealt with self-harm before) and dad supported me, scolded me, tried to get me to see that I needed further help. Fast forward a month. It's now the month of May, 2016. I posted a bit too many "dark memes" on facebook. I opened up too much, about my personal issues. I own up to that, and I have since then fixed those issues. So, I'm laying in bed with my cat, and take a selfie because he was being cute and cuddling me. 1. I'm sick with really bad allergies. 2. I am drugged up due to said allergies. 3. It's slightly dark and I'm not paying attention to the picture I post on FB. This picture turns out showing some of my cuts on my wrist. Now, I don't usually over analyze my photos because of self esteem issues, I just post them. A "family friend" who is dating my husbands best friend comments and asks if my cat scratched me. (BACKSTORY: When my husband left for the Army, he asked his dad to make sure his friend was okay. They clicked and so the best friend and his gf became really close, almost as surrogates for my husband and I) I click on the picture, see the cuts, and immediately delete the picture. I message her informing her that I removed the photo because I didn't realize the cuts were showing and that I was going through some things at the time. SHE BLEW UP ON ME. Told me that I was attention seeking, needed to get help, had been doing this for years, how dare I post on facebook knowingly about my self harm, and she needed to delete me off Facebook because I was depressing and bringing her down. I mean, okay. Fine. I get it. Completely uncalled for, but sure. What REALLY hurt me, was my father in law and his wife called my husband to yell at him, basically saying I wasn't pulling my weight, and needed to get my shit together. Then IGNORED me for a full month, only to text me a week before we went home for vacation to tell me that they didn't appreciate what I did and that we'd talk in person when we flew in. Yeah, that never happened. They pretended it never happened. And I am too much of a little bitch to start any sort of confrontation.

Okay, so that happened. We forgot about it. Now, let us fast forward to October, 2016. I flew home until early Dec. to try and figure out living arrangements for after Army. I wasn't very social with hubbys family because it was awkward, since they went out EVERY weekend with 'family friend girl'. SMIL (step mother in law) and her became almost inseparable. Mind you, there is probably a 15-20 year difference between them. They invited me out a few times, I had to decline. In November, my phone service was shut off and I never received an invite for my baby brother in laws bday. I saw on FB I missed it, and IMMEDIATELY messaged SMIL to apologize and explain. No answer. Okay. Saw them for Thanksgiving. Things were okay. I was told to never be a stranger because they want me around. Thought things were good. We've been back home (out of the Army) since Dec. 2016. We've been struggling to find work. Very sad, but also thankful that a situation happened and my parents needed to move out of their house, and someone to take over. My husband and I agreed. It's a free place, we can save money faster, and it helps my parents. My two younger siblings (19, 20) live here too. I'm 23, and my hubby is 24, btw. So, it's like having roommates. Anyways, so I posted during a nice day that I was going out with my siblings. I don't smile much due to a missing tooth. Just super self conscious about it. SMIL commented and told me to be happy I was still alive. The way she worded it definitely hit a nerve with me and all my facebook family. They commented, so I deleted so no drama would happen. (My family is VERY overprotective and dramatic) I texted SMIL and asked her if everything was okay. No answer. Texted again an HOUR later, said I didn't appreciate her being negative towards me. She finally responded to me, going off (meanwhile, 'family friend girl' is posting online about how negative people continue to do the same stuff. Meme directed towards me. I cried for probably an hour. I was told by SMIL, that I was negative and it was the same old same old with me. That I needed to stop bringing the family down on social media. They asked me and hubby to stop over. I agreed. WORST MISTAKE EVER. They called a 'family meeting'. Invited 'family friend', grandma and us. We get there, I'm sweating bullets, shaking, and want to vomit. They told me this was a long time coming. I sit down, and SMIL starts by saying, "So, I'm the bad guy here because I called $#%@$ out on Facebook about what we've all been thinking." I'm speechless. I literally stood there with my mouth open. She continues on about how the whole family is worried about hubby because I'm so negative and it affects the family name. People always ask what's wrong with me, and THE BEST:

"What has our son gotten himself into marrying you?"

Everyone basically told me that I'm the same old sob story, and that something had to change, or we had to go our separate ways.

Mind you, this is over a picture of me, enjoying the sun, but not smiling... I obviously said nothing, because I never do. My husband also didn't say anything because he also got scolded for being a working adult who also is trying to re instate himself into a world that isn't the ARMY.

Statement: We were told that if we feel replaced by "best friend" and "family friend", its because we left...

Actual fact: We got stationed 2000 plus miles away. I wasn't going to just leave my hubby there by himself for 4 years.

I think that's about all I have to say about the situation. Things are awkward, and when we get together, I try my best to put on the most fake smile for them. Because I love my husband, and I will do whatever it takes to make sure he has a relationship with his family.

Do I enjoy it? HELL NO. Does my family support my decision? Again, HELL NO. But what am I to do?

Sincerely, The Silent Girl