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callmeagardengnome · 22 hours ago

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✗ blood in the clouds ✗ | KIM HONGJOONG

pairings ✃ mafia leader! hongjoong x flight attendant! fem! reader

genre ✃ mafia au, non-idol au, SLOW BURNN

synopsis ✃

it’s finally your last day as a flight attendant. you wanted nothing more than to laze on your couch and watch netflix - just to find out that one of your passengers blew out the brains of your pilot with a gun.

in which hongjoong to hijack a plane that his rival’s daughter is on.

w.c ✃ 10.5k (yes im a yapper im sorry)

c.w ✃ dark themes, vivid descriptions of gore, guns and knives, kiss scene but no smut, use of the nickname ‘brat’, ‘pretty’ and ONE TIME - ‘princess’, your dad’s a dick oops, vulgar language, reader is smart

author’s note: this is the first oneshot of my mafia series! yes it is long but i promise you that it does eat and that you’ll enjoy it. remember to reblog and comment if you enjoyed, any and all feedback helps!

not proofread!

masterlist

white clouds drifted by the airplane window as the sky turned from a soft blue to a deep orange.

it would’ve been a pretty sight if it weren’t for the gun to your head.

you’d called in sick or put in your two weeks notice earlier if this was how your last day of being a flight attendant would end - but apparently, life hates you too much to let you catch a break.

HOUR 1 OF 7 - TAKEOFF

‘god- i can’t take this anymore,’ you thought to yourself. you hated waiting, despised it actually.

after today, no more jet lag, rushed goodbyes or missing celebrations. you can finally unpack that suitcase for good, find someplace quiet and actually live in it. the thought alone was enough to keep you excited, but something bothered you at the back of your mind.

this trip didn’t feel right.

it wasn’t the plane itself, but your passengers? only 2 showed up in a plane that could seat at least 50 people.

not that you were complaining. fewer passengers meant less work - which was a good thing.

but the uneasiness you felt kept rising in your chest, no matter the times you tried to push it down.

‘just 6 more hours,’ you thought. ‘then this will all be behind me.’

HOUR 2 OF 7 - MEALTIME

meal service started like any other: boring.

after handing out the trays, you pushed the trolley back to its place and returned with beverages. you plastered on your most professional smile as you walked over to your passengers. “would you like a drink?”

the man in sunglasses turned to you lazily, his eyes shifting from the trolley to your face. “what do you have?”

you sighed, quietly but deeply. you had that stupid list engraved into your mind by now. “water, coffee, tea, coke, spri-”

“-do you have alcohol?” he cut you off.

your eye twitched. this dickhead.

first of all, he interrupted you. and secondly, you didn’t mention the alcohol on purpose. it was stored at the back of the plane and you did not have the energy to drag it out.

“uh hongjoong- i mean, boss-“ the guy next to him whispered hurriedly. “i don’t think that’s a good idea-“

“-i think it is,” hongjoong interrupted before turning back to you. “where’s the menu?”

you gave him a forced smile as you pushed the alcohol menu towards him. he took his time with it, flipping through the pages slowly before finally saying, “two shots of whiskey.”

“sure thing,” you snatched the menu back. with a swift turn, you fetched the whiskey and the glasses, returning back to his seat.

you poured and placed the two shots on his tray table. he took the glass and drank it in one go, setting it back down with a thud.

hongjoong then turned his head towards you, eyebrows raised. “what?”

you blinked. ‘what’? just ‘what’? where's the ‘thank you’?

you were losing your mind.

“nothing,” you muttered through clenched teeth, moving away before he could ask for anything else.

grade A asshole.

HOUR 4.5 OF 7 - POINT OF NO RETURN

the shitty in-flight wifi was a joke as always. why did you even try?

with an annoyed sigh, you shoved your phone into your back pocket when suddenly-

static.

its piercing sound followed by faint garbled voices on the intercom startled you. you frowned as the sound continued, getting louder and more distorted.

with a groan, you stood up, straightening your uniform. ‘what are they doing?’ you thought as you walked towards the cockpit.

but when you passed by the first-class cabin, you paused. the seats were empty. both passengers were gone. ‘weird…’

things only got weirder as you approached the unlocked cockpit door.

concerned, you pushed it open.

the smell hit you first - a metallic tang that twisted your stomach.

then your eyes caught up.

blood splattered the walls and windows in chaotic streaks, dripping down to the controls and the carpeted floor. the pilot and co-pilot laid in a gruesome pile to the side, the jagged holes in their skulls grotesque.

a guy sat at the controls, steering the plane as though he wasn’t surrounded by horrors.

grade A asshole- no, hongjoong, sat cross-legged on the floor, his sunglasses shattered at his feet. a gun rested in his hand and his lips curled into a smirk as he watched you enter.

“you’ve got to be kidding me..” you breathed out.

pieces of brain and organ matter clung to the control panel as a simple blinking green light above that indicated that everything was, somehow, still functioning.

hongjoong tilted his head, amused. the gun shifted to point at what you now noticed was the crumpled bodies of your pilots, their faces mangled in unrecognisable masses of flesh and bone.

“these your friends?”

you shook your head as you stepped back, wiping your sweaty hands on your uniform. hongjoong seemed to enjoy your reaction, his grin widening into something sickening.

he smirked. “don’t worry, i won’t spoil that pretty face of yours.”

you coughed at the wretched smell as the crimson-stained carpet squelched beneath your heels, your mind begging you to leave.

“well-” you said, turning to the door. “i’m sure you don’t need me here, i’ll just-”

an audible click cut you off.

you froze.

slowly, you turned back to see a gun aimed directly at you.

“leaving so soon?” he raised an eyebrow. “let’s talk.”

HOUR 5 OF 7 - SKYDIVING DOESN’T SEEM TOO BAD

hongjoong dragged you to the first-class section to ‘talk’. it was the first time you’ve ever sat there and to be completely honest, this was not how you imagined yourself ‘enjoying’ it.

well, not like it mattered. you had other issues - like handcuffs locking you to the chair.

he stood infront of you, one hand gripping the gun while the other held a file. “‘____’, am i right?” he asked.

you nodded slowly. “..that’s me.”

“3.6 GPA in university..” he muttered. “flunked out of med school during your first year..”

..how the hell did he get that information?

“you ended up as a flight attendant because your father owns the airline.”

“..yeah,” you reluctantly admitted, your stomach churning. “uh- was the med school part necessary?”

hongjoong ignored you, flipping to the next page. you watched his eyebrows shoot up as his eyes narrowed. “how close are you with your father?”

you blinked, confused by the weird question. “i mean- he’s my dad,” you replied. “but i haven’t seen him in years.”

“hm,” the sound came from him. hongjoong studied you for a moment longer before he spoke again, but this time, his voice was cold.

“do you know what he’s been doing during those years?”

your brows furrowed. “no, i-”

“killing. my. men.”

you didn’t even have time to process his words because he leaned forward when he said them, the gun uncomfortably close to your face.

you swallowed the lump in your throat. “...are you sure you have the right person?”

his smirk widened into something eerie. “i have a gun pointed to you, don’t i?”

your pulse quickened. you couldn’t decide which was worse: the possibility that he was telling the truth or the fact that he was clearly enjoying your reaction.

“i always wanted to get back at that pig..” he held the gun up to the bottom of your chin, forcing you to meet his eyes. “and look at how kind the world is- blessing me with his daughter.”

you struggled to breathe, to think. the handcuffs dug into your wrist as you unconsciously tried to break out of them, a clink against the metal arm of the chair.

your voice trembled. “..what do you want from me?”

hongjoong didn’t answer immediately. instead, he leaned in even closer, so close that you could feel your foreheads touching.

“what i want,” he said slowly, eyes locked onto yours. “is for your dad to suffer.”

HOUR 6 OF 7 - SURPRISINGLY ALIVE

the stuffiness of the plane did little to calm your nerves. you sat quietly in the seat, staring at the shattered remains of your phone on the floor.

hongjoong snatched it from your hands a few minutes ago, grumbling about how ‘you don’t need devices’. great. just great.

the sound of the cockpit door creaking open drew your attention. the other guy - or ‘pilot’, stepped out, adjusting the cuffs of his sleeves. “boss.”

hongjoong raised an eyebrow. “what?”

the ‘pilot’ moved closer to hongjoong, lowering his voice. “air traffic control was notified of our path,” he said quietly. “they know something’s off about the plane, but i have no idea how.”

hongjoong’s eyes darkened as he processed the information. then, he glared at you, like he was accusing you.

you scoffed. “you shot my phone, how would i even contact anyone?”

for a moment, the two of you locked eyes and you swear that you could see him debating whether to believe you.

the ‘pilot’ cleared his throat. “what should we expect?” he asked nervously.

hongjoong leaned back in his seat, running a hand through his hair. “the police.”

HOUR 7 OF 7 - SHIT IS GETTING REAL

“what the hell…” you whispered to yourself as you peered out of the window.

SWAT teams and federal agents stood in rows, their weapons pointed directly at the plane. flashing lights of red and blue lit up the empty airport.

you turned away from the window, watching hongjoong pull out a burner phone from his jacket. his fingers typed something out before he suddenly snapped the phone in half, tossing the remains on the floor.

“…who are you?” you asked quietly.

he raised an eyebrow. “you don’t need to know, pretty.”

your survival instincts told you to move, to do something. but the second you tried to stand, hongjoong shoved you back down.

“stay seated until we land,” he said before tilting his head. “isn’t that your job?”

you rolled your eyes, gripping the armrests as you tried to calm yourself down and steady your breathing.

but that was when you heard it - gunshots.

“they’re shooting us?” you panicked, flinching with each sound.

no answer.

“hey-“ you tried again, but was cut off by the tires hitting the terrain.

the landing was rough - harsher than anything you’ve experienced as a flight attendant. the plane rattled like never before.

your chest tightened when it rolled over something particularly large. “what was that?” your voice cracked.

no answer.

when the plane finally came to a halt, you barely had time to catch your breath when hongjoong moved. in a blink, he uncuffed you from the chair, only to secure the handcuffs on your wrists once more.

he brought you to your feet, pulling you so close that you could feel his breath against your ear. “don’t do anything stupid,” he hissed.

the cockpit door opened and the ‘pilot’ appeared. he quickly unlocked the emergency exit and you saw the makeshift ramp that had been attached to the side of the plane.

a van rested just outside of it, hongjoong dragging you towards the vehicle. you descended the ramp, the cool air hitting your face as you looked around.

but that was when you saw it.

blood.

on the wheels of the plane, the dark colour leaving a fresh trail on the ground.

“did you..” you gulped, your voice barely above a whisper. “did you run over them?”

hongjoong glanced at you. “i didn’t,” he shrugged. “the plane did.”

you stopped in your tracks, your feet stuck rooted to the ground as you stared at him in horror. how could he say that like it was no big deal? just who was this man?

“move,” hongjoong ordered. but when you didn’t, he clicked his tongue, rolling his eyes. “god- you’re such a brat.”

before you knew it, you were shoved into the back of the van. the ‘pilot’ closed the door with a loud slam and sat in the driver’s seat while hongjoong took the passenger’s seat up front.

you met hongjoong’s eyes through the rearview mirror. his glare was sharp, acting as a warning to keep your mouth shut. you didn’t need to be told twice.

the van drove forward and you caught glimpses of city lights in the distance, slowly growing closer. civilisation - maybe you could get help.

but against your mind’s wishes, you felt your eyelids getting heavy - and you did something that no one should ever do when they’re in a car with armed strangers.

you fell asleep.

HOUR 14 OF 7 - HIP HIP HOORAY YOU’RE NOT DEAD

you heard a voice whine. “why can’t we kill her?”

“do you want boss to kill us?” you heard another reply.

your eyes fluttered open. your head felt heavy as the room came into focus, your stomach twisting.

the space was dingy, poorly lit by a bulb hanging from the ceiling and an unnecessarily tall lamp on the ground. the walls were stained and the air stunk of blood.

you tried to move, only to feel tight ropes against your wrists and ankles. you were tied to a chair.

“i can’t believe we have to babysit the pig’s daughter,” a man with a knife groaned.

“calm down, wooyoung,” the other one sighed.

“calm down?!” wooyoung exclaimed. “yeosang got to fly a plane! how is that fair?”

“he has a license,” the second man rolled his eyes.

“it’s still a plane, jongho-”

“shut up,” jongho interrupted. “the girl’s awake.”

both men turned their heads to look at you, the sudden attention sending a shiver down your spine. wooyoung’s grin stretched across his face as he got to his feet, jongho following behind.

“aw look who’s finally awake,” wooyoung approached, his voice childish. “you slept like a baby- and we didn’t even drug you!”

your heartbeat quickened as he leaned in close, his grin widening as he studied your face.

“i read your file,” he began. “you’re smart…” wooyoung paused, his eyes inspecting you and your ridiculous uniform. “and hot.”

your throat tightened, but you forced yourself to respond. “thank you-?”

“-what’s your favourite feature about yourself?” he asked, twirling the knife in his hands.

“uh-” your mind scrambled for an answer as he got nearer, the knife glinting. “i- my eyes?”

“your eyes,” wooyoung repeated, the grin stuck to his face. “good choice.”

he brought the knife closer, the cold steel trailing down the side of your face. you flinched as the blade hovered near your eye, your breath hitching.

“you’re going to answer all our questions,” he stated, almost in a sing-songy way. “and if you dont-”

he tilted the knife, now directly above your eyeball. “-i’ll dig those lovely pearls out of your sockets.”

your chest tightened, terror paralyzing you from head to toe. you couldn’t even breathe, every cell in your body pleading you to stay still.

“hey-” jongho tapped wooyoung on the shoulder, whispering. “uh.. boss said we can’t scratch her..”

“are you serious?” wooyoung scoffed. “then what’s the point?”

jongho bit the inside of his cheek, avoiding eye contact with his friend.

wooyoung groaned, throwing the knife to the ground with a strength that made it bend. “fuck this- torture isn’t even fun anymore.”

he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

silence was in the air until jongho cleared his throat awkwardly. he turned to face you. “uh..” he hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck.

“change of plans.”

HOUR 15 OF 7 - DAY DRINKING IS FUN

you never imagined yourself in a hideout, drinking vodka with one of your captors - yet here you were.

the whole thing felt absurd: a shaky barstool beneath you and a scuffed counter separating you and jongho. he poured you a shot he claimed was ‘very expensive’, before proceeding to chug most of the vodka from the bottle in a long gulp.

your legs were untied now, though your wrists were still bound, the rope loose enough for your hands to rest infront of you. “what are we waiting for?” you asked. “hongjoong?”

jongho froze, his eyes snapping to yours. “don’t say his name,” he whisper-shouted.

you raised your tied wrists in apology. “okay.. what should i call him?”

“call him boss.. or mr kim.. or anything that isn’t his first name,” jongho said, his words rushed.

you nodded slowly, looking at the man infront of you with mild concern. he looked even more scared than you did.

then suddenly, the door slammed open.

both you and jongho flinched, watching two figures stumble in.

the first was a tall man - storming into the room. the second was him, hongjoong, clutching his side in pain.

“mingi- boss!” jongho panicked instantly as he ran to help the injured man. “holy- you’re hurt!”

“the pig called for backup,” mingi sighed heavily.

you blinked, stunned as the sound of hongjoong coughing violently brought your attention back to the injured man.

blood seeped through his fingers, staining his sleeves and skin. you don’t know what took over you, but you pushed yourself off of the barstool and rushed towards him.

“what do you think you’re doing?” mingi stepped infront of hongjooong, his hand resting on his gun protectively.

you glared at him. “do you want your boss to bleed out?”

mingi studied you. after what felt like ages, he exhaled sharply and stepped aside. “fine,” he muttered, keeping a hand on his weapon.

you knelt next to hongjoong, trying to make him face you as you grabbed his arm. though, he snatched himself away from you quickly.

you rolled your eyes. “i’m trying to help you. let me see it.”

hongjoong’s eyes pierced your soul. you could see the cogs in his head turning on whether he could trust you.

a few moments passed before he finally faced you with a sigh, revealing a large gash on the side of his stomach - a wound created by knife.

“i need water.”

jongho blinked, clearly thrown off. “what?”

“to clean his wound..?” you explained. “get me water. now.”

jongho hesitated before snatching a bottle of water from a mini fridge. he pushed it to you, the little amount of liquid sloshing inside. “you should stay still for this,” you said before slowly pouring the water over the wound.

crap- a gash this big needed a stitch.

“untie me,” you said, holding your wrists up to your captors.

jongho glanced at his boss worriedly for permission. hongjoong gave a small nod and jongho quickly pulled out a small knife to cut the rope.

once free, you quickly looked around for something to stitch his wound with. when nothing looked remotely useful, your eyes dropped to your uniform - a skirt with a yarn trim. it wasn’t ideal, but it would have to do.

you began to unravel the yarn from the hem.

“what are you doing?” mingi asked, frowning.

“stitching him,” you sighed as your fingers worked hurriedly. “or do you want him to get an infection?”

hongjoong let out a groan, shifting uncomfortably. “just hurry.”

you finished unravelling it, but now you needed a needle. your hand instinctively reached up to your hair - pulling out a small bobby pin. it was definitely not as sharp as a needle, but you’re sure that hongjoong can handle his pain.

“shit- i need to sterilise this,” you muttered, mostly to yourself.

“vodka,” jongho said instantly, grabbing the bottle and handing it to you.

you poured the small amount over the pin, letting it drip onto the floor. then, threading the yarn through the makeshift needle, you glanced at hongjoong.

“this will hurt,” you warned.

he looked at you with clenched teeth. “i don’t care.”

you placed a hand on his side to steady him, feeling the tension in his muscles as he tried to not flinch. carefully, you began to stitch the gash, each pull making him wince.

when the stitching was complete, you tied the yarn and tore it off with your teeth - but the wound was still bleeding slightly.

you glanced down at your sleeves. without hesitation, you tore a strip of fabric free. you used it to dab away the excess blood, then folded the remaining fabric to wrap it around his side.

“that should work. for now,” you sat back as you wiped your forehead with your arm.

“...you know how to treat people?” hongjoong asked, wincing slightly.

you nodded slowly. “yeah.. i know the basics.”

“hm,” he tilted his head. “you’re more useful than i thought.”

you blinked. was a good thing or a bad thing?

“wooyoung,” he yelled out.

a loud crash was heard in another room, followed by the muffled sounds of frantic movements. within seconds, wooyoung appeared in the doorway.

“yes, boss?” wooyoung said out of breath, brushing off his shirt as he lookedaround the room.

hongjoong didn’t respond immediately. instead, he looked you up and down, his lips twitching into what seemed like a smirk. “get her some actual clothes. we have an event to catch.”

HOUR 17 OF 7 - WORDS TALK BUT GUNS TALK LOUDER

“woah..” your eyes took in the building before you. glittering lights and an impressive exterior that was way more extravagant than anything you imagined hongjoong to be involved in.

he parked the car, the engine coming to a stop. before you could say anything, hongjoong stepped out of the car, closing the door shut. you scrambled to follow him, your heels clicking against the pavement as you caught up.

the two of you approached the man stationed at the door - a bouncer with a pen and clipboard.

without warning, hongjoong’s hand snaked around your waist, pulling you snugly against his side. you flinched at the sudden contact, but with how tight his grip was, there was no room for protests.

“ah, mr kim,” the bouncer greeted. “you made it.”

hongjoong offered a brief, fake smile before dropping it immediately. “let us in.”

“hold on now,” the bouncer said, flipping through the papers on the clipboard. “we can’t let her inside.”

hongjoong’s brows furrowed. “why?”

“new policy,” the man sighed, pretending to sound disappointed. “no more plus-ones.”

hongjoong rolled his eyes, not bothering to respond. instead, he reached into his blazer, about to pull out a-

“nevermind!” the bouncer’s face turned pale. he stepped aside with a nervous laugh. “you’re all set- enjoy the night.”

the interior was breathtaking - chandeliers hung from high ceilings and round tables were scattered across the venue, draped in pristine white table cloths.

“don’t eat or drink anything here.”

you blinked, nodding slowly at hongjoong’s words. “okay.. but why-”

“-and if you really want to stay alive,” he interrupted, his lips brushing your ear. “don't leave my sight.”

his voice sent a chill down your spine. “okay,” you mumbled as he brought you further into the room.

he led you to a seating area - though it looked more like a conversation pit, where an old man sat waiting.

hongjoong released his grip on you to sit across the man, gesturing for you to follow. you hesitated briefly before settling next to him.

“mr kim,” the old man greeted gruffly. his eyes shifted to you, studying your face. “i see you brought someone.”

hongjoong gave a nod, glancing at you. “introduce yourself, brat.”

“oh uh-” you put out your hand reluctantly, forcing a polite smile. “i’m ‘____’.”

the old man’s eyes narrowed before they widened in realisation. “her father-“

“-i’m glad you noticed,” hongjoong cut in. he slowly reached into his blazer again, but this time, he actually pulled out his pistol.

your eyes widened as he aimed it to your waist, the cold metal brushing your side. “wha-“

“w-what are you doing?” the old man’s face drained of colour, panic flashing in his eyes.

hongjoong tilted his head. “let’s negotiate.”

“mr kim-“ the old man began, his voice cracking. “as his friend, you do understand that i have to tell him she’s here.”

“do it,” hongjoong shrugged, leaning back. his arm returned to your waist, pulling you to him as he tapped the gun against your side.

“let’s see if he values his money more than his own daughter.”

HOUR 18 OF 7 - LIFE ISN’T FAIR

a loud crash echoed through the venue, making you jump. the sound of heavy footsteps grew violent with every second.

hongjoong’s hand tightened around your waist as he stood, dragging you up with him. “move.”

“wait-!” the old man called after you, but hongjoong didn’t stop.

his grip on you was firm, the barrel of his gun pressing against your stomach. you tripped over your feet, struggling to keep up his pace.

“where are you taking me?” you panicked as you glanced over your shoulder at the armed men closing in.

“to your father, princess,” he sneered, his voice mockingly sweet.

“mr kim! stop right there!”

you froze, whipping your head around. standing at the far end of the room, infront of a small army of armed men, was your father.

“let go of my daughter,” your father ordered. he pointed a gun directly at hongjoong, his men following suit.

your eyes glanced around the room - seeing guests cowering against the walls, some injured and others dead.

“i’m not giving up the brat until i get what i want,” hongjoong demanded.

“what you want is an impossible amount of money!” your father yelled, his grip on his gun tightening.

“impossible?” hongjoong’s eyes widened with craze. “you have more than $500 million tied to your name! did you think i’ll forget who you killed to get here?”

your blood ran cold. “dad.. you killed people?” you asked, your voice trembling as you looked at him.

for a split second, your father’s eyes softened, though that quickly disappeared with a scoff.

“if i didn’t, you wouldn’t have a roof over your head,” your father spat. “you were too stubborn to do anything after you dropped med school.”

the world seemed to tilt, your father’s words more piercing than any bullet. “but i didn’t-”

“-you did,” your father interrupted you. “i spent all that money bribing them just for you to fuck up.”

your heart sank as tears welled in your eyes. hongjoong noticed your reaction, his grip on the gun loosening slightly.

“i’d appreciate it if you didn’t make my hostage cry,” he said. “do you really want those to be your last words to her?”

“shut up,” your father snarled, his finger close to the trigger. “i’ll say what i want. she’s too stupid to argue back anyway.”

the tears you held back spilled over and all you could hear was your dad shouting, “get her!”

HOUR 18.5 OF 7 - THEY WANT YOU SOO BAD

gunshots were heard in every direction, completely deafening.

the pungent smell of gunpowder burned your nose as you stumbled, your legs barely holding you up. hongjoong shoved you to the ground, his hand against your back.

“stay down,” he ordered you, raising his gun and firing without hesitation.

you flinched with every shot, watching in horror as armed men fell one by one with his aim. the world felt like it was spinning too fast and you could barely keep up.

suddenly, a hand grabbed your arm.

“stop moving!” your father yelled, his grip painful as he dragged you towards the exit.

“no!” you choked out, your heels digging into the floor in an attempt to resist. panic ran through your veins as your eyes darted around desperately.

your eyes landed on a fallen gun near your feet. you quickly snatched it, hands trembling as you tried to point it towards him.

“don’t make me do this!” you cried.

your father didn’t stop and without thinking-

-you pulled the trigger.

a bang was heard, followed by his rough scream as he collapsed to the floor, clutching his bleeding thigh.

“oh my god,” you whispered, the gun slipping from your hands as tears flowed uncontrollably down your cheeks. you sank to the floor, staring at the blood pouring out of him.

“you bitch!” he shouted in pain.

out of the corner of your eye, you caught hongjoong watching you, something strange flashing across his face. was that.. surprise? pride? maybe he was impressed?

hongjoong fired a shot at an armed man without looking, moving to you quickly.

“didn’t think you had it in you, pretty,” he looked over his shoulder. “but we need to leave.”

he led you to a small janitor’s closet near the exit. the narrow space smelled of bleach, but at least it was quiet.

hongjoong shut the door behind you and dusted off his blazer. without a word, his dark eyes inspected you, checking your shoulders and arms.

you stood motionless, too shocked to stop him as he gently tilted your chin up, his thumb wiping away the mascara-stained tears from your cheeks.

“nothing broken,” he muttered, more to himself than to you. “no scars either..”

he pulled out a burner phone, typing something quickly.

“i- i just shot my dad,” your shoulders shook as new tears welled up in your eyes.

hongjoong glanced up from the phone, meeting your eyes. “..are you bragging?” he asked bluntly.

“what? he’s my dad-”

“-and he’s a dick,” hongjoong cut you off. “you might share blood, but that man clearly hates you.”

you hiccuped, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. “...am i going to hell?”

hongjoong scoffed. “come on-“ he began, but stopped himself when he looked at you and the tears spilling from your eyes. “you didn’t kill him… you’re fine.”

you opened your mouth to protest but he silenced you as he continued typing. “and even if you did,” he added. “you’re doing the world a favour.”

he smashed the burner phone onto the ground, discarding the pieces. he reloaded his pistol before turning back to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he led you through bodies and debris.

outside, a black van waited by the curb. hongjoong pushed you inside before climbing in after you, slamming the door shut behind him.

“drive,” he ordered.

as the street lights went past you, you slumped in your seat, completely exhausted. “where are we going?” you asked softly.

hongjoong studied you for a moment, watching your eyelids go heavy. “...go to sleep, brat.”

DAY 2 - OH HONEY I'M HOME

you woke up with a jolt. you sat up from the couch you laid down on, completely disoriented. your eyes darted around the dimly lit room. the hideout.

relief and fear spread within you. you were safe - for now.

just then, a knock from the doorway made you jump. “didn’t mean to scare you,” a man said, leaning against the frame. “boss wanted me to check on you.”

you blinked. “i- okay,” you coughed to clear your throat, wincing at how dry it felt.

“i’ll let him know you’re awake.”

and with that, he disappeared down the hall, leaving you alone once more.

though that didn’t last long. moments later, hongjoong entered. he carried a stool over, setting it down across from you before sitting.

“how long did i sleep?” you asked hoarsely.

“a day,” he replied with a shrug.

your eyes widened. it was only then you noticed your attire - a baggy t-shirt replacing the outfit you were wearing before.

“who changed me?” you blurted out, heat rising to your cheeks.

“i did,” hongjoong answered. he noticed your flustered expression, tilting his head. “what?”

“did you-” you cleared your throat. “did you see anything?”

“i’m not a pervert,” he scoffed. “if it makes you feel better, you were changed in the dark.”

you fell into an awkward, heavy silence as you sat across each other. for the first time, there was no danger, no gunfire or anyone yelling out orders. just silence.

“your dad..” hongjoong began, speaking up. “wants you dead.”

“...what?”

he held up a cassette tape, tossing it onto the table between you, your hands trembling as you picked it up. hongjoong then brought out a cassette tape player, allowing you to hear your father’s voice.

‘mr kim, we’ve had our ups and downs, but i’m sure that we can agree on one thing - that bitch who shot my thigh is a liability. an idiot that made it this far because of me. she’s no longer my responsibility or family, so expect to find her head on a stick when you turn your back. have fun.’

“what the fuck..” you whispered shakily as it came to an end.

“to be honest, your only purpose was to be a hostage.” hongjoong’s fingers drummed the edge of the stool. “and now that he doesn’t want you.. you’re useless-”

the world around you crumbled, his words making you feel worse.

“-to him.”

your eyes widened, looking at him in confusion.

“you’re smart,” he shrugged. “and you stitched me.”

you blinked. “…where are you going with this?”

“i want you to be an addition to my team,” he replied.

“do i have to kill people?” you blurted out. “or steal, or-”

“no,” hongjoong raised a hand to cut you off. “all you’ll be doing is treating my injured men. quite the opposite of killing.”

you frowned, furrowing your eyebrows. “why would you trust me with that?”

“because,” he said, leaning forward. “you have nowhere else to go.”

“that’s not true-”

“really?” hongjoong smirked. “do you know how many businesses your dad owns?”

you shook your head.

“more than 80% in the country,” his eyes sparkled with something dark. “now that you’ve shot him, you’ve burnt every bridge he’s built for you.”

your jaw dropped. “but-”

“no job, no family, nowhere to live either since he owns most of the real estate here.”

you stared at him, struggling to process his words.

“here’s my offer,” hongjoong continued. “you get a decent amount of money, a place to live and protection...”

“...just to treat people?” you asked in disbelief.

he nodded.

you bit your lip, staring at the floor as you picked at your nails. how could your dad do this to you? abandoning you just like that? and now he wanted you dead? you could feel yourself getting angry just thinking about him.

after a long moment, you lifted your head, meeting his gaze. “deal.”

MONTH 1 - FAMILY BONDING

that evening, you sat on the floor with san, wooyoung and yeosang, eating a batch of cheap instant noodles. it was a little awkward - mostly because you just joined, but you were silently appreciating their efforts to make small talk with you.

suddenly, a loud bang was heard through the hideout. the three men jumped up immediately, pulling guns and knives from who knows where.

“back entrance?” wooyoung asked as he sharpened his knives.

your heart raced as you watched the three of them shift into combat mode - and you caught yourself lagging behind. you hurriedly stood up and grabbed the medical kit you kept close.

“stay here,” san said firmly.

you shook your head. “if someone’s injured, i’m coming.”

the three of them shared a look before yeosang gave you a reluctant nod. “…just stay behind us. we’ll get in trouble if you get hurt.”

they moved swiftly and silently through the narrow halls of the hideout, weapons in hand. you trailed closely, your heart pounding as you gripped the medical kit tightly.

when you reached the back entrance, san motioned you to stay back while they checked the door.

the signs of forced entry were obvious - the lock was broken and scuff marks lined the floor.

wooyoung scoffed, speaking under his breath. “stupid piglets.”

yeosang sighed. “looks like they took a few weapons and left.”

“are they testing us?” san asked, inspecting a footprint on the ground.

before anyone could respond, the door slammed open making all of you jump. you turned to see mingi, his chest heaving as he leaned against the door frame.

“meeting. now.”

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

the hideout’s ‘meeting room’ was more of a cramped closet with mismatched chairs and a comically large table in the middle. hongjoong paced at the end of the room, his jaw clenched.

“we can’t stay here any longer,” he began. “it’s only a matter of time before they come back in full force.”

hongjoong stopped pacing and crossed his arms. “we need to move back to our old apartments. they’re scattered enough to keep us hidden until we figure out our next move.”

you shifted uncomfortably.

hongjoong noticed this. “what?” he asked, his sharp eyes landing on you.

“i uh-“ you hesitated. “i don’t have a home..” you said sheepishly.

hongjoong raised an eyebrow.

“my dad owns the house,” you admitted. “and that’s not really an option anymore.”

“right,” hongjoong sighed, running a hand through his hair. “shit..”

“alright, who has space?” he clapped, glancing around the room.

everyone exchanged uneasy looks.

“we don’t,” yeosang said, gesturing to himself, san, wooyoung and jongho. “the four of us are already crammed into one place.”

“same here,” yunho spoke up. “mingi and i barely fit in ours.”

hongjoong turned to seonghwa, his face hopeful.

“no,” seonghwa said without hesitation.

a heavy sigh escaped hongjoong as he pinched the bridge of his nose. he leaned against the table, deep in thought.

minutes stretched into what felt like hours before hongjoong finally spoke up. “you’re coming with me,” he said, looking directly at you.

your eyes widened in surprise. “..what?”

“you’re staying at my place.”

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

the car sped down the (somewhat) empty highway, the faint smell of vanilla from the air freshener mixing with the lingering scent of old fast food.

you gripped the edge of your seat as the streetlights ran by the window in a blur. “are we in a rush?” you nervously glanced at hongjoong.

“no,” he replied flatly.

there was a black car beside you that had been keeping pace for the past few minutes - and just as you shifted in your seat, it suddenly swerved infront of your car and slammed the brakes.

“what the-” you barely managed to say before the impact. the car jolted violently as it hit the one ahead, the sound of metal crunching loud.

hongjoong let out a low string of curses under his breath. his face was weirdly calm as he unbuckled his seatbelt, stepping out of the car without a word.

“wait-” you scrambled to undo your own seatbelt.

from your seat, you saw him approaching the car. the moment he glanced inside, his eyes widened. he reached for his gun and pulled the trigger instantly.

the loud gunshot made you flinch and your stomach twisted as you saw the slumped figure in the driver’s seat, blood splattered across the windshield.

your heart pounded as you stumbled out of the car, rushing towards him. “why did you do that?!”

hongjoong turned to you, his jaw clenched. “it was a piglet.”

“wha-“ your eyes drifted to the body, a shiver going down your spine as you saw the bullet hole clean through the skull.

hongjoong, completely unfazed, went back to the car. you stared at the lifeless body for a moment longer before hurriedly following him.

once you were back inside, you swallowed the lump in your throat, attempting to break the suffocating silence. “….how did you know he was a piglet?”

hongjoong didn’t respond immediately. his fingers flexed against the steering wheel as he glanced at you.

“they have a bullet tattoo..” he said finally, pulling down his collar to point to his collarbone. “..right here.”

you blinked. “oh.”

“if you ever come across one,” he continued. “kill them on sight.”

your eyes widened, your throat tightening. “what about the police?”

he fell silent for a second, his eyes fixed on the road. then, a faint smirk crossed his face. “you don’t need to worry about them.”

his answer left you unsettled, but before you could question him further, the apartment building came into view. it was modern - standing tall with the city skyline.

hongjoong smoothly pulled into the parking lot. the abruptness of the stop sent you forward, but his hand shot out instinctively, pressing against you to keep you steady.

“sorry,” he muttered, his voice soft - though he didn’t look at you as he retracted his arm.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

some might describe hongjoong’s apartment as ‘minimalistic’, but to you, it’s just an excuse for a grown man to avoid decorating.

the walls were devoid of any art or family photos, the kitchen was spotless - though it was definitely untouched with how there was almost no food in the fridge. and from what you saw, the only source of entertainment was a lone TV.

“do you..” you began, looking around the bare space. “do you even live here?”

hongjoong ignored your comment and walked towards the big couch and began to pull it into a makeshift bed. the springs creaked slightly as he unfolded it. “this is where you’ll be sleeping,” he said, dusting himself off.

“cool.”

“don’t complain-“ he stopped himself mid-sentence and narrowed his eyes when he realised what you said. “wait, you’re okay with this?”

you blinked. “…yeah?”

“hm,” he said, slightly surprised. he looked you up and down before turning to the long hallway. “get some rest, we’re getting you a phone tomorrow.”

MONTH 2 - LIVE LAUGH LOVE GUNS

you should’ve known it wouldn’t be long before the piglets attacked you again.

hongjoong sent you on a simple supply run - nothing unusual. but as you stood in the small pharmacy, you felt the air shift when the cashier’s demeanour turned cold.

it all happened so fast.

the moment you saw the gun aimed at your chest, your eyes fell to the faint outline of a bullet tattoo peeking out from his collarbone. great.

your breath hitched as your body moved on impulse. you barely avoided the first shot as you ducked behind the display rack.

the pharmacy was strangely empty, no one else to intervene. your heart pounded as the sounds of footsteps and gunshots echoed.

fumbling with your phone, you dialed every number you could think of. yet, no one answered.

your hands trembled as you typed hongjoong’s number, your last resort.

he picked up after one ring.

“this better be important, brat,” he grumbled, groggy like he just woke up.

“i need help-” you semi-yelled as you narrowly dodged another shot, darting behind the counter. “i’m getting attacked-”

“-send your location,” hongjoong interrupted. “i’m on my way.”

the line went dead before you could respond.

you sent your location and shoved the phone back into your pocket. the cashier reloaded the gun, his footsteps growing louder. and just as you moved, he charged.

he grabbed you, trying to pin you down. you barely managed to fight back, until you made an educated attack - kicking him in the groin.

he groaned, stumbling back. you took the opportunity to snatch the gun from his hands.

you pointed it at him, your hands shaking. “stay back,” your voice cracked.

the man scoffed. “over my dead body,” he lunged at you again.

your finger moved instinctively, pulling the trigger.

once.

twice.

again and again and again.

the sound of gunfire rang in your ears, the recoil sending waves through your arms. you didn’t stop until you heard a clicking noise that meant that the gun was empty.

when you opened your eyes, he was no longer standing.

you looked down, the cashier laying sprawled on the ground, the concrete dark with blood. bullet holes littered his body, evidence of your frantic shots.

you dropped to your knees, your chest heaving. you reached out to check his pulse. nothing.

you just took someone’s life.

your eyes fell to your hands, bloody and shaking. from young, you always wanted to save lives - not take them. tears fell from your eyes, blurring your vision.

the door slammed open.

hongjoong stood in the doorway. he took in the body on the floor and your frozen form in a single glance. he sighed, stepping in.

“come on, let’s go,” he crouched to grab your arm.

you couldn’t move, your eyes fixed on the lifeless body.

“hey,” his fingers gripped your jaw, tilting your face to meet his. his eyes were intense, his touch warm against your cold skin. “we need to leave before more show up. you don’t want to kill anyone else, do you?”

you shook your head quickly.

he pulled you to your feet, wrapping his arm around yours as he guided you to his car. the ride back was silent as you stared out of the window.

and before you knew it, you were back at his apartment.

you hesitated at the door, unable to bring yourself to step inside.

hongjoong sighed, grabbing your wrist as he tugged you in. he tossed his gun and his keys in the kitchen counter before turning to you.

“go take a long shower. i’ll be in the living room.”

you nodded, moving to the bathroom in a daze.

the water was scalding as it hit your skin. no amount of soap or scrubbing would ever make you feel clean from the bloodied-stains. every part of your body felt foreign - even your puffy eyes and lips.

once you were done, you dressed in the softest clothes you had, hoping that it would provide you with some form of comfort (it didn’t).

the pull-out couch was prepared with brand-new pillows and fluffy blankets when you returned to the living room. hongjoong sat on the edge, gesturing for you to sit. you sank down beside him.

the silence stretched on until it became unbearable.

you spoke up, your voice barely audible. “…i killed someone.”

“you did,” he nodded. “good job.”

your head snapped up, your eyes wide. “i killed someone.”

“and so have i,” hongjoong leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “does that bother you?”

“i…”

he leaned back. “it should. the first time always does.”

“i don’t think i can do this,” you breathed out shakily. “i don’t want to hurt people..”

the two of you locked eyes for what felt like ages. you could see hongjoong’s adam's apple bob up and down, his jaw tightening slightly. “no one wants to hurt people,” he replied softly.

you blinked.

“i shouldn’t have sent you out alone, especially with your dad targeting you,” he sighed. “that’s on me.”

“but-”

“-though i do have to say, this made me realise how.. unprepared you are,” he continued.

your eyebrows furrowed.

“if you want to survive, you need to know how to defend yourself,” he drummed his fingers against the couch. “...you’re off supply runs. from now on, you’re training with the others.”

you stared at him. “what?”

“the rest have some ‘schedule’ for training. i’m sure you can join without any problems.”

you hesitated. the thought of the blood, the body, the gun in your hands made you nauseous. the idea of training scared you.

he noticed this, his eyes softening slightly. “you won’t be a killer, just someone capable of self-defense.”

you swallowed the lump in your throat. finally, you nodded, your voice small. “okay.”

MONTH 3 - LET’S GO GAMBLING!

the casino was glitzy and loud with copyright-free music, its neon lights casting eerie shadows on the dark streets outside.

“you three, cover left. you two, check the vault. the rest of you will stay near the exit,” hongjoong ordered.

you waited for your assignment, expecting to be grouped with someone. instead, hongjoong said, “you’re with me.”

you sighed. “alright.”

you followed hongjoong to the right side of the casino, the sounds of laughter and clinking glasses filling the space. he moved silently, keeping his gun concealed but ready. you tried to mimic his focus, clutching the knife wooyoung lent you earlier.

the first sign of trouble came when the alarms blared.

armed men swarmed into the casino. piglets.

hongjoong moved first, taking them down in a single shot. you ducked behind a pillar, your heart pounding.

the fight moved fast. hongjoong was precise - he wasn’t even touchable, killing the men easily.

but that was when you saw it before he did: a piglet creeping up behind him, raising and aiming the gun to his head.

“boss!”

without hesitation, you hurled wooyoung’s knife to the piglet.

the knife pierced and plunged into his neck, causing the man to fall, his gun clattering to the ground.

hongjoong whipped his head around with wide eyes, shooting the man infront of him before spinning to kill the piglet you just hit.

the silence that followed was deafening.

hongjoong’s breathing was heavy as he lowered his weapon. he dusted his clothes off, looking at you with an unreadable expression.

he gulped, finally speaking up. “...good job, pretty.”

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

slowly, everyone regrouped in the corner, collapsing onto the floor in a circle. bottles of water were passed around as everyone caught their breaths.

for a while, no one spoke, the only sounds being an occasional groan.

“hey,” wooyoung hiccuped, breaking the silence as he turned to you. “give me my knife back.”

you looked at him awkwardly before handing him his completely bloody and dented knife - basically ruined.

“what the hell!” he exclaimed. “that was one of my favourites!”

you shrugged. “you shouldn’t have given it to me then.”

“i didn’t know you were actually gonna use it,” wooyoung complained. “i thought you would just watch.”

“you’re such a dick,” you rolled your eyes.

wooyoung leaned in closer - his voice annoyingly sweet. “aw, don’t be mad, sweetheart. i’ll get you a better knife- one that won’t bend in your delicate fucking hands.”

“shut up,” you groaned, shoving him lightly as the others chuckled.

hongjoong leaned against the wall, his arm crossed over his chest. his eyes shifted from wooyoung to you.

his chest tightened in a now-familiar way: you’re fitting in too well.

it wasn’t jealousy - at least, that’s what he told himself. it was about control. your presence was a distraction he didn’t account for. but the others took you in so easily, which was technically a good thing, right?

and yet...

why did his stomach twist every time one of them smiled at you?

hongjoong blinked, realising how his leg was bouncing restlessly. he forced himself to stop, sighing deeply.

“you good, boss?” yunho asked.

hongjoong paused. “...i’m fine.”

yunho raised an eyebrow but didn’t question it, turning away.

hongjoong’s eyes returned to you. you were leaning a little too close to yeosang now, laughing at some joke wooyoung said - sending a strange pang through his chest.

why did this bother him so much?

you weren’t doing anything wrong. you were building trust, meshing with the group - just like he expected.

but this wasn’t about the group, was it?

he frowned, thinking. you stitched him right after he kidnapped you, you saved him from getting shot even though you were definitely not ready to fight.

what has he ever done for you?

introduced you to a world of crime? to a world of killing, stealing and hatred? accidentally ruined the relationship between you and your dad?

hongjoong closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

shit.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

without bothering to change, you sank into the pull-out couch - exhaustion pulling you to it like gravity.

you heard hongjoong locking the door behind him, the soft click sounding loud in the quiet apartment. his footsteps shuffled toward the kitchen, the sounds of cabinets opening and closing reaching your ears. you were way too tired to look.

you didn’t realise you drifted off until you were awoken by something heavy on your body.

your eyes fluttered open groggily. for a moment, you thought you were dreaming. hongjoong was in the middle of draping a large blanket on you.

“what are you doing?” you mumbled, your voice thick with sleep.

his eyes darted to yours briefly. “nothing.”

you frowned, shifting to sit up - but he placed a hand on your shoulder, pressing you gently back down. “sleep.”

you let out a quiet sigh. “shouldn’t you be sleeping?” you muttered.

he paused, his jaw tensing. “....tomorrow onwards, you’re training with me.”

you stared at him, stunned. before you could even say anything, he turned and walked away without a word.

…did your boss just tucked you in?

MONTH 3.5 - PUNCH, KICK, SNARE

“again,” hongjoong said, slightly out of breath.

the living room felt smaller than usual with the two of you moving around. the coffee table and couch was pushed aside, leaving just enough space to practice your punches without tripping over the furniture. he claimed training here would teach you how to ‘fight in tight quarters’.

he sighed. “your moves are sloppy.”

you groaned, shaking your aching wrists. “i’m trying.”

“that’s not enough when someone’s aiming a gun at your head,” he replied, stepping back and raising hands. “your punches are too weak and your balance is all over the place. reset your stance.”

you rolled your eyes but obeyed, repositioning your feet. it wasn’t the first time you’ve heard those words from him.

hongjoong moved closer, tapping your wrist. “keep your guard up. always.”

you threw another punch, but it barely made his hands move. he lowered them, sighing. “that’s not going to hurt anyone-“

“-i’m doing my best, okay?” you snapped. “i’m not a fast learner.”

his eyes softened for a moment before narrowing again. “that’s not an excuse when your life is on the line.”

you tsked. he was right of course, but that didn’t make it easier to hear.

“again.”

you tried once more, throwing a combination of punches that he blocked with ease. when you attempted a kick, you stumbled, nearly losing your footing.

he caught you instinctively, his hands steadying you.

“watch your balance,” he said automatically, going on a tangent on how training is important and blahblahblah.

you tried to focus on your surroundings, on the words he was saying, but it was hard to ignore the proximity between you. the smell of his cologne mixed with the faint smell of sweat in the room. his touch wasn’t rough or aggressive like you’d expect - it was gentle.

your eyes drifted to his face, catching the faint scars along his cheekbones and jawline. were those always there? or was this the first time you really noticed?

his brows furrowed, likely in frustration at your lack of response, but the concern in his eyes snapped you back into reality, making you realise that you were staring the whole time.

“i don’t think i’m cut out for this,” the words spilled out before you could stop them.

hongjoong paused, his lips parting slightly - he wasn’t expecting you to say that. for a moment, he was silent. he then leaned in, his eyes piercing.

“you don’t get to quit.”

the intensity of his voice made you forget about the aches in your muscles and the sweat dripping down your back. his words weren’t angry - they were commanding.

“why do you even care?” you whispered, barely audible.

his grip on your arms loosened slightly, his eyes searching yours for what felt like eternity. then out of nowhere, he stepped back, clearing his throat as he avoided your gaze. “take five,” he mumbled, walking to the kitchen.

MONTH 5 - BLOOD, BLOOD AND MORE BLOOD

the office building looked ordinary. if you didn’t know any better, you’d think it was just another corporate HQ. but you knew better.

and so did hongjoong.

you held up the new knife wooyoung gave you, one that wasn’t as pretty as the last. it was finally the day you ambushed your dad, the man that’s been wanting you dead for months.

you looked up to face hongjoong. “i don’t want to see it,” you said suddenly.

he raised an eyebrow. “see what?”

“when you kill him. my dad,” you clarified, your throat tightening. “i’m.. okay with it, but i don’t want to see it.”

his eyes studied you. after a moment, he nodded. “make sure to stay close to me,” he said before turning to the building.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

the group slipped into the building through the side. hongjoong led the way, gripping his pistol tightly as you stayed close behind him.

“elevators are too risky,” hongjoong looked back at the group. “we’ll take the stairs.”

the group nodded, their weapons drawn as they moved quietly through the halls. the fluorescent lights did nothing to mask the sinister aura that was buried in the walls.

when you reached the stairwell, the sound of footsteps echoing above sent everyone into high alert.

the first shot rang out.

gunfire filled the stairwell. the air was thick with smoke and gunfire. you pressed yourself against the wall, trying to avoid all of the attacks happening around you. you tried to go in to fight but-

-someone grabbed you.

you struggled, twisting out of their grasp. but before you could scream, a hand clamped over your mouth, dragging you away. “stay still.”

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

the stench forced your eyes open - a horrid mix of stale cigar smoke and alcohol. the office was dimly lit and your father crouched infront of you, his face smug as he cornered you.

“you think you’re better than me, don’t you?” he sneered.

you glared at him, your heart pounding. “fuck off.”

a bitter laugh escaped his lips. “you’ve gotten worse since you joined that boy,” he spat. “should i cut off your tongue? unhinge your jaw? or maybe i’ll be basic and shoot you.”

“you’re insane,” your stomach twisted. “it’s hard to believe we’re related, especially with how ugly you are.”

“you-”

before he could finish, you jammed wooyoung’s knife into his other thigh, dragging it down to create a large gash. he let out a guttural scream, stumbling into a desk as his pants turned a dark red.

you moved quickly, scrambling out of the corner, but two piglets grabbed you before you could get far.

“stupid bitch,” your father hissed, forcing himself up as he took out the knife in his thigh, looking directly at you. “you’re going to regret that.”

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

as hongjoong shot another piglet with his pistol, he looked around the haze, searching for a certain someone. “where’s ‘____’?” he asked.

the group stayed silent.

“shit- we don’t know,” wooyoung said nervously.

hongjoong’s face darkened - and without hesitation, he grabbed a nearby piglet by the collar, slamming him against the wall. “where’s your boss?” he snarled.

the piglet squirmed. “i- i have a family!”

hongjoong’s grip on his collar tightened, his eyes widening scarily. “then bring me to him.”

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

“your mother should’ve gotten the abortion,” your father said before settling down infront of you, the bloody knife close to your face. “then my money wouldn’t be wasted on cunts like you.”

“i’m surprised that you got a woman like her to fuck you,” you breathed out shakily as the blade hit your skin.

“i guess you inherited her bitchiness.”

the door burst open as the knife grazed your skin. hongjoong stepped in, his gun raised. “let go of her,” he ordered.

the piglets hesitated, glancing between your father and hongjoong. your father’s hand didn’t move, a scar forming on your face.

“you want her that badly?” your father asked mockingly. “you’re becoming soft.”

hongjoong didn’t answer. instead, he moved faster than you thought was possible, shooting the two piglets that held you with ease.

the bodies hit the ground - causing your father to shove you harshly against the wall. pain shot through your body as you heard something crack.

hongjoong froze, his pistol trained on your dad.

“stay back,” your father warned, hovering the blade near your temple.

hongjoong’s jaw clenched. he dropped his gun slightly, making your father relax.

but then hongjoong lunged.

the fight was brutal, all punches and grunts. you slumped against the wall, your cheek bleeding uncontrollably as every part of your body ached.

after what felt like ages, hongjoong finally gained the upper hand, pinning your dad down as he pointed the gun to his head. but then his eyes landed on yours, wide and terrified - making him freeze.

“shit,” he cursed under his breath, lowering the gun. he turned and rushed to you, pulling you into his arms.

your father tried to crawl away, but hongjoong didn’t let him go far. with you in his embrace, he covered your eyes and ears tightly as the sound of a singular gunshot echoed in the room.

you clung to him, your tears soaking into his shirt. his hand cradled the back of your head, his touch soft. “it’s over,” he whispered as you sobbed.

you shook your head against his chest, the salt in your tears stinging the cut on your cheek. “i almost died.”

“i know,” he said softly. “but i wouldn’t let that happen.”

his words settled over you like a warm blanket. you pulled back slightly, your eyes searching his face. you could feel the heat of his body as he kept you close.

hongjoong shifted, his hands moving to your shoulders as he looked at you carefully. his thumb brushed over your scar, wiping away the trail of blood on your face.

“you’re shaking,” his eyebrows furrowed. “you need to breathe.”

“i’m trying.”

he reached for a nearby chair and pulled it over, guiding you to sit. hongjoong crouched infront of you, your hands trembling in his.

“you’re safe,” his eyes locked onto yours. “i’ve got you.”

something inside you cracked at his words - and tears spilled once more. hongjoong didn’t say anything, but his presence was enough. he stayed crouched infront of you, letting you take all the time you needed.

when you finally looked up, there was something unspoken in his eyes - a mix of guilt and relief that made your heart ache. “...thank you,” you whispered.

his lips parted like he wanted to say something, but the words never came. instead, he nodded slowly, his grip on your hands tightening for a moment before letting go.

at that moment, you leaned forward, closing the small distance between you. your lips brushed against his, just enough to make his entire body stiffen.

for a second, you thought you made a mistake. his hands paused midair and his breathing hitched.

but then, he moved. to you.

his hands cupped your face gently, pulling you closer into a kiss. it was slow at first, but when you gripped his shirt tightly - the feelings he’d been keeping were let loose.

his lips pressed against yours with urgency. his fingers tangled in your hair, holding you like you might disappear if he let go.

you responded instinctively. your hands found his neck, his jaw - brushing over them softly in a way that made him groan. “fuck- you’re so pretty.”

the world around you spun in swirls of blood, smoke and cologne, overwhelming you in a way that made you lose your breath.

hongjoong broke away for a moment, panting slightly. his lips curled into a smirk, before he kissed you again, softer this time but no less intense. it was grounding, reassuring and impossibly warm.

when the two of you pulled back, his thumb traced your scar. “this..” he began quietly. “..this isn’t what i expected tonight.”

you let out a soft, shaky laugh. “me neither.”

he pecked your forehead as he stood up, his legs slightly wobbly from the kiss. hongjoong held out a hand, helping you to your feet. “...let’s go home.”

series taglist - @hanoishere @scuzmunkie @sinfullygay @arusio @midnightrebel1028 @neemaxx @seungminsrighthand @arilevenatz @ateezswonderland @beabatiny @lemirabitur @sunnyhokyu @frzzenfrxg @cylovesmg @txtsoobean @seonghwasslytherin @sundaybossanova @sweetinsaniiity @cybrnaya @choisanchwego @mrskill2

BONUS SCENE - MINE

the apartment was quiet as you laid on the pull-out couch, staring at the ceiling. sleep wasn’t coming - your mind was too busy replacing the events earlier.

the memory of hongjoong’s arms around you stayed, along with the feeling of his lips on yours. how could a man as dangerous as him bring you such comfort?

a soft knock against the wall broke the silence.

you sat up slowly, seeing hongjoong standing in the hallway. his hair was slightly damp and he wore a loose black hoodie, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. he hesitated before walking to you, his movements weirdly awkward.

“...you okay?” you asked the nervous man.

he shrugged, trying to play it off as he sat next to you. “i’m fine. you?”

“i’ve been better.”

there was a pause as the two of you stared at each other, the silence heavy. finally, he cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably.

“i’ve been thinking..” hongjoong trailed off.

“uh-oh.”

“i-it’s not a bad thing-” he said hurriedly. “it’s just that.. tonight made me think about a lot of things.”

you tilted your head, confused.

his voice softened as he continued. “but this isn’t just about tonight. it’s about.. everything. i don’t want you to feel.. unsafe all the time.”

“i don’t,” you said instantly, but you’re not sure how much you believed yourself.

he leaned back slightly, reaching into his hoodie pocket. when his hand reappeared, it was holding a pistol - his pistol, sleek and black.

“take this,” he held it out to you.

you blinked, staring at the weapon. “what? why?”

“because it’s mine,” he replied simply leaving no room for argument. “and now, it’s ours.”

you hesitated, your hand hovering over the gun. “i.. i barely know how to use this.”

“then i’ll teach you.”

you looked up at him, searching his face for answers. “...why are you giving this to me?”

you noticed the way his eyes darted down as you looked at him, his fingers tightening around the pistol as he pushed it to you.

“because,” hongjoong began quietly. “i trust you.”

your fingers paused before finally closing around the gun. the cold metal felt deadly in your grasp, but the way his eyes lit up made your heart swell.

“you trust me..?” you asked softly, a faint smile on your face. “hongjoong..”

his usual composure faltered as you said his name, a blush dusting his face. he swallowed the lump in his throat, gathering himself. “you’re not just a part of the group,” he said. “you’re more than that. to me.”

your eyebrows shot up, completely stunned. “...i don’t know what to say.”

“say yes.”

you blinked. “yes to what?”

“to being mine,” hongjoong’s hands fidgeted slightly.

your heart raced as you heard his words. a wide smile spread across your face as you realised what he was really asking.

“are you..” you paused. “are you asking me to be your girlfriend?”

his breath got caught in his throat as he nodded. “yeah.”

the man that was the literal leader of an entire gang, was sitting nervous infront of you. it was a funny sight to see, but you brought yourself back to reality, answering his question.

“yes.”

a wave of relief washed over his face as he let out the breath he seemed to be holding. he reached out, his fingers brushing yours briefly as he leaned closer. “wanna sleep in my bed tonight?”

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buttercandy16 · 2 days ago

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The Bully

PAIRING(s): DarkStudent!Agatha Harkness x Student!Reader

SUMMARY: Agatha Harkness, a senior, takes pleasure in tormenting you, her shy junior. As the bullying escalates, you can’t shake the feeling that there's more to her cruelty than just power.

WARNING(s): Non-Con, Bullying, Obsession, Psychological Abuse, Manipulation, Violence, Harassment, Power Dynamics, Dark Themes.

A/N: Gotta admit this is twisted. Better not proceed if this is not your cup of tea.

The first day of junior year was supposed to be a fresh start. It was supposed to be a time for you to blend in with the crowd, get through the year unnoticed, and maybe—just maybe—feel like you belonged somewhere.

But that dream was shattered the moment Agatha Harkness laid her eyes on you.

Agatha was not the typical queen bee of the school—she didn’t just command attention; she demanded it. Beautiful in a way that made you feel invisible by comparison, her striking blue eyes had a chilling coldness to them, as if they could see right through you. She moved through the halls like a predator stalking its prey, her every step deliberate, her smile a weapon that made even the strongest students quake in their boots.

You? You were nothing special. You were shy, quiet, the kind of person who tried to stay out of the spotlight. But Agatha, in her twisted mind, saw you. From that moment, you became her target.

And Agatha was relentless.

At first, Agatha’s bullying was subtle. A misplaced book here, a whispered insult there. You tried to tell yourself it wasn’t a big deal, that it was just part of the high school experience. But the problem was, Agatha didn’t stop. She enjoyed it.

You’d be walking down the hallway, and Agatha’s friends would bump into you on purpose, sending your books scattering across the floor. The laughter that followed was always louder than necessary. Her voice would ring out from behind you, sharp and mocking, “Watch where you’re going, loser.”

She’d whisper just loud enough for the people around you to hear during group assignments: “She doesn’t even belong here. Do you know how pathetic you look?” The others would laugh, and you would shrink in your seat, staring at your half-eaten meal, wishing for the earth to swallow you whole. The words stung, but the sneers from the others—the agreement in their faces—cut deeper.

On one memorable occasion, she ensured your diary ended up projected on the screen in homeroom. Every scribbled insecurity, every desperate wish for normalcy, displayed to the class as Agatha read from it aloud, her voice dripping with mockery.

"Oh, look! 'I hope someone notices me.' How sweet! Everyone's noticing you now."

You begged her to stop, choking back sobs as laughter roared around you. Agatha didn’t relent. She wasn’t just enjoying your misery; she was feeding on it.

But Agatha was only getting started.

By the time the second month of school rolled around, Agatha’s cruel games had become a daily torture. Every corner you turned, there she was—either waiting for you or making sure you felt her presence.

One day in the cafeteria, you sat with your tray, trying to ignore the nervous flutter in your stomach. As you picked up your fork, you felt a hand on your shoulder. Before you could react, Agatha’s voice pierced through the noise of the cafeteria. “Hey, loser, don’t forget your real place.”

Suddenly, her drink—what had to be an entire cup of soda—was poured over your head. The sticky liquid dripped down your face, soaking your hair and clothes, as the entire cafeteria erupted in laughter.

“Smile for me, sweetheart,” she purred as you cried, leaning in close enough for you to smell her faint lavender perfume. “You look so pretty when you break.”

Your throat burned with the urge to scream, but you couldn’t make a sound. The laughter of your classmates filled your ears, drowning out everything else.

You didn’t know how long you sat there, frozen, drenched in humiliation. All you could do was stare at your hands, your fingers trembling while you silently cried.

But what terrified you most wasn’t the public bullying or even the physical taunts. It was how she stared when no one was looking.

Agatha watched you.

Her blue eyes followed you down corridors, across the cafeteria, and into the deepest parts of your nightmares. Sometimes you’d catch her in the distance, leaning against a wall, smirking as you tripped under her latest setup. But sometimes, you’d find her lurking nearby, standing too close, leaning too near, the edge of her voice dropping into something soft and intimate.

“You’ll thank me one day,” she murmured once, brushing an invisible strand of hair from your shoulder as you flinched back. “When you realize I’m the only one who cares enough to notice you.”

Over the next few weeks, the bullying turned sadistic. It wasn’t just about humiliating you anymore; Agatha wanted to break you. She wanted to make you feel like you didn’t belong. She wanted you to feel the weight of her presence crushing you every single day.

Your clothes were slashed—deliberately, carefully, the marks too precise to be an accident.

Your locker was spray-painted with cruel words. “Ugly” was the least of them. “Slut,” “Worthless,” “No one will ever love you,” the words taunted as you opened it.

Every time you tried to stand up for yourself, Agatha was there, sneering. “What? You think you have any power here? Look around you. No one cares about you. You’re nothing.”

You felt broken. Every day you woke up, dreading the thought of facing her. But you couldn’t escape. You couldn’t run.

By mid-semester, you were unraveling. Your grades slipped, and you stopped attending events. The weight of constant ridicule hung over you like a storm cloud.

You stopped eating, stopped sleeping. You stared at the ceiling at night, wondering if it was worth getting up in the morning.

She had you exactly where she wanted you

When Clara transferred to your school, you thought you’d found salvation. Clara wasn’t afraid to sit with you, to stand between you and the others who Agatha had rallied to her side. For the first time, you felt seen in a way that didn’t break you.

But the price of Clara’s kindness was high. Agatha hated her with a fervor you’d never seen before.

Agatha was watching, always watching. The moment she saw you with Clara, a new kind of fire ignited in her cold eyes. She was jealous. Jealous of Clara’s ability to make you smile, to make you forget for just a second the hell you lived in.

Clara’s presence only intensified Agatha’s cruelty. She started targeting Clara, too, making her life as miserable as she made yours.

And Agatha enjoyed every second of it.

It started with petty taunts. Clara’s appearance, her laugh—nothing was off-limits. But Agatha’s rage simmered just under the surface.

Then Clara’s locker was defaced. “Homewrecker” was scrawled across it in angry red paint.

When Clara found her gym bag shredded and her phone destroyed in the cafeteria, Agatha’s smug grin was all you needed to see.

“Why can’t you just leave us alone?” Clara finally snapped one afternoon, shoving past Agatha in the hallway. You’d never seen her stand up to Agatha like that.

But that was the mistake.

Agatha didn’t respond. She simply stared, a storm brewing in her eyes.

The day it all shattered was an ordinary one—or so you thought. The cafeteria buzzed with its usual noise, students laughing, trading whispers, and tossing food across tables. You sat with Clara, your head low, desperate to avoid Agatha’s gaze.

But the room stilled the moment she walked in.

Agatha’s steps were slow, deliberate, every student shrinking back as she passed. You could feel the heat of her stare long before she reached your table.

“Move,” she snapped at Clara, her voice like steel.

Clara squared her shoulders, her hand trembling on the table. “I’m not going anywhere.”

What happened next was a blur. Agatha grabbed Clara by the hair, yanking her from her seat and dragging her to the center of the cafeteria. The screams echoed in your ears.

The students gathered in a horrified semi-circle as Agatha pulled out a blade. She pressed it to Clara’s neck, her voice eerily calm.

“She’s mine,” Agatha said, her eyes finding yours as she tightened her grip on Clara’s hair. “You’re mine. No one else gets to touch you. No one else gets to love you.”

“Stop it!” you screamed, rushing to pull Agatha away.

There was no cruelty in her gaze—only desperation.

“You don’t understand,” she said, her voice cracking. “I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you. I had to make you see me.”

Her confession twisted something inside you—a sick, horrifying realization that the torment, the humiliation, all of it, had been her twisted way of keeping you close.

You choked on a sob, unable to respond, unable to comprehend the scene unfolding before you.

Then, with a deliberate motion, Agatha sliced a thin line across Clara’s cheek—not deep enough to do permanent damage but enough to draw blood. Clara screamed, struggling against her hold.

“Do you see now?” Agatha’s voice broke, her obsessive rage bleeding into desperation. “No one can have you but me!”

She threw Clara to the floor, letting the crowd scatter like flies as she advanced toward you. Blood smeared across her hand as she reached out, grabbing your wrist in a viselike grip.

“You don’t need anyone else,” she whispered, her eyes wild and glistening with something raw and unhinged. “Say it.”

The room seemed to spin as her breath brushed your ear. “Say you’re mine.”

Tears streamed down your face as the truth—her obsession—finally clicked into place. This wasn’t love. This wasn’t even hate. It was something darker, more consuming, and far more terrifying.

When you didn’t answer, Agatha’s grip tightened, her nails biting into your skin.

“You don’t have a choice,” she hissed. “You’ve always been mine.”

The cafeteria ringing with the chaotic noise around you, the violent energy from Agatha and the blood that painted the scene still pulsating in your veins. The sight of Clara’s blood streaking down her face mingled with the stares of students who had no idea whether to intervene or stare in utter terror. Some stared, captivated by the violent outburst, while others simply backed away, knowing better than to involve themselves.

Agatha’s pupils dilated in sheer madness, her smirk was full of an almost palpable hunger that gnawed at you, making you feel nauseous. Her fingers were still stained with Clara’s blood. "That was your fault, you know," she purred. "If you hadn’t pulled Clara into this, you would still be mine alone.”

The air felt thick with dread and something darker—a possessive heat, almost sexual in its intensity. Agatha's voice was lower now, dripping with an edge that made every word feel like a knife twisting into your heart.

“Isn’t that right?” she whispered.Her body pressed up against yours, no longer the cruel manipulator, but the woman possessed, desperate, and incapable of understanding love beyond her twisted perception of ownership.

You couldn’t breathe. Your throat felt like it was closing up as Agatha continued, undeterred, making the space between you feel suffocating.

“You think you can escape me?” Agatha’s hand caressed your cheek—deliberate, slow—and then, before you had a chance to react, she forced her lips onto yours in a searing, aggressive kiss. The cold edge of the blade still gleamed in her fingers, pressing against the soft, trembling skin of your neck. She was testing your limits, consuming you.

“You belong to me. You’ll always belong to me,” she whispered against your lips as you tried to pull back, your body repulsing the contact, but Agatha wasn’t giving you an escape. She was insistent. Every inch of her energy radiated possessiveness and torment. It was unbearable—her grip tightened on you, suffocating all sense of resistance you had.

The pain inside you deepened, like your very identity was being ripped apart.

Her teeth scraped against your bottom lip, drawing a whimper from you that only seemed to fuel her hunger. The blade pressed harder, a silent threat that kept you frozen in place as her other hand slid down your body, rough and possessive. She didn’t care that the entire cafeteria was watching, that Clara was bleeding on the floor, that you were trembling in her grasp. All that mattered was her need to dominate, to own you completely.

Her fingers found the hem of your shirt, yanking it up with a force that made you gasp. The cold air hit your skin, but it was nothing compared to the heat of her touch as she groped your chest, her nails digging into your flesh. “You think you can hide from me?” she sneered, her breath hot against your ear. “You think anyone else can touch you like this?”

You shook your head, tears streaming down your face as you tried to push her away, but she was too strong. Her hand moved lower, slipping beneath the waistband of your pants, and you froze, your breath catching in your throat. “No,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “Please, Agatha, don’t—”

“Shut up,” she hissed, her fingers pressing against you, rough and unyielding. “You don’t get to say no to me. You’re mine, and I’ll take what’s mine whenever I want.”

Her touch was cruel, deliberate, designed to hurt as much as it was to claim. You bit your lip to stifle a cry, but she didn’t miss the way your body shuddered under her hand. “That’s it,” she purred, her lips curling into a wicked smile. “You can’t hide how much you want this. How much you need me.”

You wanted to scream, to fight back, but the blade at your throat kept you still, your body betraying you as she worked you with ruthless precision. The room spun around you, the sounds of the cafeteria fading into a distant hum as Agatha’s touch consumed you. Her breath was hot against your neck, her teeth grazing your skin as she whispered, “You’ll never escape me. Never.”

Her fingers moved faster, harder, and you couldn’t stop the moan that escaped your lips, a sound that only seemed to fuel her frenzy. “That’s it,” she growled, her voice thick with satisfaction. “Let them all see how much you belong to me.”

You closed your eyes, trying to block out the world, but it was impossible. The feel of her, the smell of her, the sound of her voice—it was everywhere, consuming you, breaking you. And when she finally pulled her hand away, leaving you trembling and exposed, she leaned in close, her lips brushing against your ear as she whispered, “This is just the beginning. I’m not done with you yet.”

The blade disappeared from your neck, but the threat lingered, heavy and unspoken. Agatha stepped back, her eyes blazing with a dark, possessive hunger.

The weight of her command rolling off her tongue with the kind of authority that made the room shrink.

"All of you. Leave," she said, her voice low but biting. The onlookers flinched, uncertainty flickering in their wide eyes as they shifted nervously. "And let me make this clear—what you saw here today? You saw nothing. Speak of it, and I'll remind you why that blade was mine to wield."

The tension was suffocating. One by one, the witnesses filed out, not daring to meet her gaze. Some stumbled in their haste to flee, boots clattering against the stone floor, even Clara followed along but Agatha didn’t seem to care. Her focus remained fixed entirely on you.

When the last of them had gone and the room was swallowed by silence, she turned her full attention back to you. Her lips curled into something too satisfied to be called a smile, yet not quite sinister enough to be a smirk. It was the look of someone who had just claimed exactly what they wanted—someone who knew the gravity of what they’d done and reveled in it.

Her presence was all-consuming. She didn’t move closer, didn’t speak, but the air between you still bristled with the weight of unspoken things. The blade was gone, yet its absence almost felt worse—like the void it left was filled with something sharper, heavier.

Agatha tilted her head, studying you, as if relishing how small and cornered she’d made you feel. Then, finally, she broke the silence.

"You're mine now," she murmured, her voice silky and unyielding. "And you’ll come to understand—I always get what I want."

Her gaze lingered a moment longer, searing into yours, before she turned away, leaving the room heavy with the remnants of her presence.

_-_-_

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#agatha coven of chaos #dark fanfiction #agatha harkness x reader #agatha all along #agatha harkness #agatha harkness fanfic #kathryn hahn #marvel #agatha harkness x you #rio vidal #agathario #aubrey plaza #dark!agatha harkness

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clockwork-hearted · 6 hours ago

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This was the first queer movie I watched in high school. I remember finally having good, strong WiFi and exploring YouTube one night. Was using my refurbished MacBook that I begged my dad to get me so I can have something to use for school.

I don’t remember how exactly I came across this movie (honestly was probably going through some YouTube rabbit hole of “movies where guys make out” or the classic “two men kissing” search), but it was the full length movie. And it was free.

I was so excited to watch it and see what kind of guy on guy action I would get to see. But being forced to stay in the closet growing up, I couldn’t just outright watch this movie while my parents were home.

So I bookmarked it. Made sure I even saved the link somewhere. And had to wait until my parents weren’t home.

Thankfully, I ended up realizing that I was a teen that was allowed to stay up late on the weekends. So I stayed up, waited until both my parents were in their rooms, fast asleep, and then I went into my room, closed the door (couldn’t lock it though. Locking bedroom doors was an offense that would cause a scene every time for absolutely no reason), plugged my headphones in, and snuggled up and watched it.

I remember sitting upright to start it then getting tired and deciding to lay down. Ended up laying the laptop on its side just so I could keep watching haha

And I remember going through the rollercoaster of emotions seeing these two characters having a connection but being so twisted up about it. Regardless of everything they went through, I still wanted that. I still wanted someone I could kiss passionately. Someone I could go to bed with and wake up next to in our own little world. Someone I could go to the beach with and spend all day with. Someone who wanted to push me for my abilities (don’t have any but it played into my fantasies lol) and strive to be the best I could be at them.

And then reaching the end of the movie and being so happy with it. I remember crying. Crying so much that I thought I wasn’t going to be able to stop. I remember shoving my face in my pillows to try and muffle my crying.

Oh, I learned to cry silently so very quick in my home. How I learned what it meant to be even more suppressed than I already was. How I had to learn to hold back all the choking sounds my throat would utter and just let the tears flow. Silently blowing my nose into tissues so I wouldn’t wake my parents and cause a scene.

“Why are you crying? What’s happening? What did you watch? What’s going on? Etc. etc. etc.” - yeah, like I was going to come clean about my emotions and be able to talk these things out. Pht. How I wished and how I dreamed that I could. Would’ve made growing up easier. But I didn’t have those kinds of parents.

So the first night I watched this movie, it meant a lot in such little time. Movies like this really saved me as a teen.

I started doing a deep dive into any and all other queer movies I could find online for free (but that’s a story for a different time).

Tbh, I had forgotten about this gem of a movie. Made me feel a little guilty for forgetting, mostly because it really helped me continue pretending, and knowing that one day I would find someone to experience beautiful moments with. It allowed me to realize that queer media (that wasn’t porn) was out there, that I didn’t have to feel alone, and that it was only a few key strokes and google searches away.

For anyone who read through this whole thing (I know I blabbed, but I really needed to get this off my chest and my mind), thank you.

And I also hope that even though the world can feel so against you, even in spaces that are supposed to be safe, that there are people out there that know and understand you and can relate to how you feel.

I know it’s always easier said than done, but hang in there. And if it all gets to be too suffocating, please remember there are resources out there to help. But please, please, please, don’t get snuffed out. Let yourself burn as bright as you can. Because at the end of the day, you will always find Shelter- whether it’s with family members, friends, teachers, chosen/adoptive families, online communities, etc. you will find it. And you will be safe. And you will be loved.

I wish you all the very best. May this movie and many others bring you as much joy as it did to me. <3

Shelter (2007) dir. Jonah Markowitz

#shelter 2007 #personal #high school nights #self discovery #how I would ache #how I would weep #I need to rewatch this soon

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aphrodeiities · 2 days ago

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ᴅᴀʀᴋ ꜱʏɴᴀꜱᴛʀʏ ᴏʙꜱᴇʀᴠᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱ

you can join my astrology discord server :)

follow for more content, and thank you for 12,000+ followers <3

not all observations will be dark, others will be sexual.

no copying! depends on how this post goes but i might do composite soon.

♱ 8h overlay is not the only overlay where people express their freaks, the 12h overlay can do that as well, hidden desires and kinks that they might be ashamed to express to other people.

♱ saturn aspecting lilith in synastry can be very, very intense. especially if its square or conjunct. the lilith person would expose the saturn person to liberties and freedom they havent experienced before, but sometimes the saturn person can be uncomfortable with how free the lilith person is and could even up wanting to restrict them.

♱ it was said before that venus can be the wife in love triangle situations, and lilith is the mistress. if the lilith aspects the sun which is usually the man, it can be really hard for the man/or the dominant partner to dismiss the attempts of the lilith woman.

♱ following up with lilith. lilith in a person's chart is what can make someone interested in the side person/the mistress. so someone with lilith in gemini in their chart shows that they would be into the other party who stimulates their mind, someone who can make them laugh and since its lilith, say dirty things to them. it could also make them very attracted to gemini placements.

♱ 5h synastry shows that the couple could love to have sex with each other, they could party with each other a lot. this could bring great joy with each other. but if it's not backed up with saturn aspects, the connection likely wont last for long.

♱ i've noted that a lot of virgo placements [including having chart ruler in jupiter] had a lot of stalkers, people constantly checking on them, its worse when there's neptunian/plutonic influence in their chart.

♱ 8h mars synastry would have someone so possessive over you, it'll be hard for them to get over you, and they would want to protect you all the time and sometimes treat you like you cannot do things yourself.

♱ dont get me started on pluto conjunct lilith. the epitome of an affair. if it conjuncts, the two of them will always find way to have each other, and have sex. but if there's no sex then its intense sexual frustration.

♱ lilith in the 2h synastry might cause lilith person to think they're entitled to know everything about you, another stalker indicator.

♱ sun in the 10h synastry...usually the sun person could be obsessed with being seen with the 10h person. it might cause them to see the house person as an object, or a ladder to use to climb up the social ladder.

♱ uranus in the 8h synastry is another obsessive sex indicator, they would want to have sex everywhere, and they could be into being watched by others.

♱ chiron in the 12h is you'll never get rid of me synastry. chiron could hate it if house person moves on, the type to stalk the person's new potential partners.

♱ lilith conjunct pluto is a very haunting aspect. like haunting from beyonce type of connection, thinking about each other all the time, and if broken up with each other they could go behind their lovers back and rekindle something again.

♱ 3h lilith synastry shows that lilith person could have very lewd thoughts about house person, and house person could be willing to play into lilith person's fantasy.

♱ saturn in 8h/12h synastry can speak of constant stalking each other. both people yearning each other sexually and spiritually, could get intense because either one could be bold enough to come between connections and break them.

♱ in most synastry charts i've looked at that involved cheating with each other, neptune 7h played a big part.

♱ pluto aspect sun...conjunct specifically? the sun would be obsessed! obsessed. and its worse if the person's sun aspects its own pluto as well. the sun person would pop up everywhere, always watching, taking note on who's their friend, if their instagram following or followers went up or not.

♱ moon in 6h synastry can make moon person very dependent on the house person's presence and energy, is another indicator of obsession.

♱ 11h moon synastry would have the house person want to involve themselves in moon person's life, like joe goldberg.

♱ north node conjunct venus? north node person might not be able to handle rejection from venus person, like at all. could get very reckless and intimidating.

♱ plus saturn 12h/8h synastry is an indicator of brat-taming kink.

♱ though 12h saturn synastry can speak of very intense breakups, like thinking about it forever.

♱ chiron conjunct chiron, feeling like you need each other all the time, only seeing, feeling and hearing them, could fall co-dependent on each other, but can also be each other's relationship/emotional injuries.

♱ mars opposition/square someone's mars/venus a game of cat and mouse, non stop, they would be too bold, could make advantages in public, the type to want to fuck them in places they'd get caught. very shameless synastry overlay. this is another synastry i saw where mars really wants to breed mars.

you can join my astrology discord server :)

masterlist

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daryltwdixon · 3 days ago

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Daryl x Reader fluff

prompt: "You can stop hugging me now." | "No, I don't think I can." @creativepromptsforwriting

Summary: Daryl returns from a long trip with something he found, quietly revealing that you’ve been on his mind all along. fluff. drabble.

a/n: just trying to get the writing juices flowing again, been feeling a little bit of a block so thought I'd try this prompt!

The sun hangs low, painting the woods over the fence of the watchtower in warm amber hues. You're peering through your binoculars as Alexandria stretches out behind you, quiet except for the occasional clatter of someone working on the fences. You have one earbud in, listening to your Walkman that's strapped to your hip. The tiny device is temperamental, but it still works, and it’s the one thread tying you to the world before everything fell apart. The music is just low enough that when you adjust your stance, scanning the perimeter again, a distant rumble draws your attention.

You lower the binoculars, squinting against the light until you spot it. The familiar shape of Daryl’s motorcycle cuts through the dusty road leading to the gates. A smile tugs at your lips as you turn to look over the railing down at the gate.

“Sasha,” you say, snagging your earbud out by the wire, “Daryl’s back. Open the gate.”

“Copy that,” she replies, composed and straight faced.

You watch as the gates roll open and Daryl rides in, the low growl of his engine fading as he kills the ignition. He swings off the bike, crossbow slung over his shoulder, and pauses, his eyes lifting to meet yours. Even from this distance, you catch the flicker of something in his gaze—relief, maybe, or something warmer.

“You just gonna stare, or you comin’ down?” he calls, his voice carrying easily in the still evening air.

You smile as you shout down at him, "I'm on duty!"

You watch as he shakes his head and makes his way over. Backpack in hand, he starts climbing the ladder to your perch. By the time he reaches the top, you’re already leaning against the railing, looping your ear buds up to put away. You really hope he can't see how your heart hammers in your ribs when he is near.

There’s something about him that always pulls at you, no matter how much you try to ignore it. Maybe it’s the way he moves, like he’s part of the world but never tethered to it, or the way he notices things without ever calling attention to himself. It’s in the roughness of his voice, the quiet steadiness of his presence, and the flashes of something softer beneath all the grit. You’ve caught yourself watching him more times than you’d like to admit—how his hands move when he works on his bike, the way his brow furrows in thought, the rare curve of his lips when he smirks. And now, with him this close, the familiar tug in your chest feels undeniable.

“Got somethin’ for ya,” he announces when he reaches the top, his voice hoarse from not seeing people for days. He crouches down in front of you, awkwardly pulling something from his bag. A small, rectangular cassette tape catches the light as he holds it out.

Your breath catches when you see the cover. It’s your favorite artist, one you thought you’d never hear again.

“Figured....well, you’re always listenin’ to that thing,” he says, gesturing toward your Walkman. His voice is gruff, but there’s a nervous edge to it, like he’s not sure how you’ll react. “Saw it. Made me...made me think of ya.”

You take it from him, fingers brushing over the cracked plastic of the case, lingering on the edges as if holding it too tightly might make it disappear. Flipping it over, you see the album cover, worn but intact, its familiar image bringing an ache to your chest. Your thoughts stumble, scrambling for something to say, but all you can focus on is the fact that Daryl thought of you.

He thought of you.

While he was out there, risking his neck for the group, scavenging scraps of the old world, searching for strangers who might one day be allies—he thought of you. The image of him out there, surrounded by danger at every turn, with walkers and worse waiting in the shadows, and still having a moment to think of you, makes your chest tighten. Despite the chaos, the noise, the relentless fight to survive, you were on his mind. Not just as another member of the group, but as someone he cared about enough to bring back this small, fragile piece of comfort.

The thought is overwhelming, pulling the air from your lungs, leaving you dizzy with the weight of it. Because in a world where everything is fleeting, Daryl Dixon thought of you.

Before you can stop yourself, you’re moving. Your arms wrap around his neck, catching him off guard. He stiffens, his hands coming up to hover over you, almost unsure if he should touch you. After a heartbeat of not letting go, you feel his voice vibrating in his chest.

“You can stop hugging me now,” he grumbles, though his voice wavers just enough to betray him.

You tighten your grip, pressing your cheek against the warmth of him, breathing in the smell of musk, of pine and leather and cigarettes--so uniquely Daryl, “No,” you whisper, the words soft but sure. “I don’t think I can.”

For a moment, he doesn’t move, doesn’t breathe. Then, slowly, his hands settle on the small of your back, tentative but steady. The air between you shifts, quiet and charged, the unspoken things you’re both too afraid to say hanging in the space.

When you finally pull away, his cheeks are tinged pink, and he’s looking anywhere but at you.

“Thank you, Daryl,” you say, holding up the cassette tape like it’s the most precious thing you’ve ever owned, "Seriously."

He shrugs, his eyes flickering to yours for just a second before dropping. “Ain’t nothin’.”

But the corner of his mouth quirks up, just a little, as he turns to climb back down the ladder, leaving you with the music, the sunset, and a heart pounding harder than it should.

#daryl dixon drabbles #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x you #daryl dixon x reader #the walking dead #twd daryl #daryl #the walking dead daryl #daryl x reader #daryl twd #daryl one shot #daryl dixion imagine #90s walkman #daryl fanfiction #daryl dixon the walking dead

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gravedwe11er · 21 hours ago

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Some more texaid for the @keferon mecha au! Comes after part one and part two, though it can be read on its own with just the knowledge of the AU itself.

Cw: Vortex, a bit of innuendo and semi-graphic descriptions of violence and death

A new point of view on recent happenings in the shatterdome, and also Felix.

Or: Vortex is here, and he has Opinions.

Vortex really likes Felix.

Has liked him ever since he saw this quiet, boring-looking little doc sneak around the base at night, and instead of going to hook up with someone - like a normal fucking person would - breaking into the research lab and messing with quint corpses. At first, he thought it might have been an op of some sort, but no! The guy just really liked cutting the things apart. Which- Tex could relate, honestly.

Seeing Felix bumbling about in the dark and excitedly muttering to himself through the cams quickly became the highlight of his mind-numbingly boring days. And then, to absolutely no surprise, the man got himself caught, and things went from good to great real fast.

As he watches little Mr. First Aid dig dried blood out of his crevices, with a stolen butter knife of all things, he really has to applaud himself for how well it all turned out.

Here’s one thing about Vortex – he likes violence. Always has - it’s one of the very few fun things that was never in short supply during his life, and the same goes for his after-life. And now that his other sources of entertainment are largely, hah, dead in the water? He very much likes to indulge.

Despite that, the first pilot he killed actually was a complete accident. He’d been pretty freshly dead, floundering around in his new body, when whatever control he’d manage to wrangle from the mech had been ripped out from under his hands. In his horrified flailing, he somehow managed to jerk the guy’s seat so hard he cracked his skull open on the console, and that was that. Only once he felt his death throes through the neural link had Vortex even realized what had happened.

And fuck, was he livid! Now, let’s be honest, Tex could absolutely get behind some rough manhandling of his person in the right situations, but this was outright violating! And like hell was he just going to put up with it.

Here’s another thing about Vortex – he hates being told what to do. And gee-whiz, it really doesn’t get any more being-told-what-to-do than some tiny fuck crawling into what is now your actual head and moving you around like an overgrown puppet.

So, he kept pushing. The next few casualties were only partly accidental, him testing out his range of motion, so to speak. And once he figured out how to establish himself as the dominant consciousness in the mech, even with a pilot plugged in-

Hah, let’s just say they definitely weren’t accidents after that.

It was part spite, part entertainment, and part just wanting those bastards out, their minds grating against his consciousness and giving him the closest thing he has to a headache nowadays. And what fun it was! He’d never really gotten to kill people before, not on purpose at least – his minders always kept him on too tight a leash - and damn was it great to see those uppity little shits turn to red mush in his gears.

For a while, at least. Look, he’s a creative guy, but there’s only so many ways to kill a person with no opposable thumbs available for the job! Not to mention, he was sorta hoping they’d get the hint eventually. He thought if he showed his ability to function on his own and his inability to tolerate pilots, they’d kinda just- leave him to it.

But of course not – that would require those bastards in command to actually give a shit about their people. They never did while he was under their tender care either, so he shouldn’t have been surprised. Kinda stupid of him actually, but excuse him, he’d, hah, rather recently lost all his braincells. Still, it was a problem he needed to figure out.

Then the solution waltzed into his cockpit, first aid kit in hand and doing his darndest to resuscitate the latest thoroughly dead pilot, and Tex started having ideas.

Here’s one thing about Felix – he’s a real gentle, meticulous sort of guy. He’s seen it in the man’s treatment of his patients, in the way he always tried to check on the vital signs of Tex’s broken toys, even when it was super fucking obvious they’ve long since kicked the bucket. Even now, as he’s poking around in the seams of Tex’s pilot seat with a rag, he’s still displaying a level of care in it he hasn’t seen from any of his actual technicians. It’s pretty nice, being treated like an actual person for once.

And damn, it’s times like these he really misses having a human body. Having this pretty man on his knees and all up in his business like that would have been a lot better if he could properly feel it. Vortex-the-mech has sensors for pressure, temperature and structural integrity, but it doesn’t come anywhere near to what he was used to when he was alive. No sense of pain either. Boring!

But oh well; he’ll take whatever fun he can get. Aaand speaking of fun-

As Felix sticks his hand in one of the seat’s movable joints, Tex mentally reaches for the mechanism and jerks it back – easily slow enough to avoid, but more than fast enough to make the man jump.

Here’s another thing about Felix – under all his outwardly softness, the man’s got teeth.

“Fuck!” he shouts, and Vortex cackles, the mech’s internal vents clicking and hissing to convey his glee. “What is your problem?!” Holding his – completely unscathed, mind you – hand to his chest, Felix looks at the screen, awaiting some sort of answer with just the most hilarious looking scowl on his sharp little face.

Mentally kicking his feet, Tex sends his words out to display on the red glass.

JUST PLAYING, BABY

GOTTA KEEP THOSE REFLEXES SHARP!

Felix huffs, relaxing a little now. “How nice of you,” he says, snide as all fuck, reaching for the rag he dropped when trying to avoid getting his fingers pinched, “but let’s keep the fun to a minimum, please.”

Then he pauses, giving Tex’s screen a considering look. “But seriously, should I not be touching that?” he asks, concern twisting his features. “Does that hurt? Or tickle? I don’t really-“ he waves his hand in an ambiguous gesture, “-know anything about how all this works. Suppose that’s something I should look into…”

Aaand off he goes, lost in his own head. Actually worrying about him. Fuck, when’s the last time someone cared about Vortex that openly? Huh, long before he was ever called that, he’d say. Hard to remember. These days, Vortex is fifty tons of stainless steel killing machine, very much not a squishy human patient for the soft-hearted doc to be fussing over. And yet.

Damn, what a weirdo. What an odd little freak.

Vortex really fucking likes Felix.

Thank you for reading, and many thanks to my beta @jayden-writes for the help!

#tf mecha universe #tf mecha au #transformers #tf first aid #tf vortex #texaid #LastWrites

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slutsareteacherstoo · 16 hours ago

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Reina…i been reading this in between my breaks and lunch today. YOU ARE SOOO DIABOLICAL IN THE BEST WAY! This was soooo amazing!!!

My reactions will be below🤭

FIRST THINGS FIRST!!!

We love a good outfit opener 🙂‍↕️

“The tip of my nose was left stinging from the wrath of the cold.” Come one sensory and imagery

The lockdown browser - THAT WAS A THROWBACK 🤣

The educator eye contact is real. As a student i hate it but as an educator im like give me something. PLEASE 😭

FAVORITE GIRL?!?

“Of course, I did. That's why I… talked you through it,” he said, looking me up and down. - I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE!!!!!! (I love this by the way. Love me a good ellipsis)

Not the big girl voice!!!! TERRY RICHMOND IK WHAT YOU ARE 🫵🏿

Please not him on the TikTok

NOT HE GOT A GOOD ASS MEMORY 😳 ID BE ORANGE. OH HELL 🫥🫣🫠

Okay Professor🙄 cool it. Youre not special. Just another nigga out here. Tf you think you talking to?? YOU TELL HIM ATHENA 🗣️🗣️🗣️ since you wanna be big and bad or whatever😒

Nah cuz he’s dead wrong for that! You know its hella people in the library tryna study. You talking about Athena and Shanice being loud. Nigga look at you!!!!!!

Whew 😅 not they bout to desecrate the books, chile.

OH HE WAS PREPPING WITH THAT TALK THROUGH BEFORE!! I bet you the next time Athena present something she gon be thinking of him TEW much like🤭

*water shaking GIF*

PRETEND HES NOT THERE?!!! ARE YOU (Terry) OUT OF YOUR MIND?!?! 😭 (this is so diabolical!!! I love this!!!!)

Not even gon hold you, Id make him give me the money to buy another pair😏Clothes are expensive!!!! Esp in the cold at the end of the semester……

“He slowly pulled his fingers out and brought them to my mouth. With no hesitation, I parted my lips and stuck out my tongue. I was more than ready to lick my cum off his fingers.

Before I could react, he drew his hand back and brought it to his mouth. “Mine,” he grumbled in my ear. His tongue flicked between his fingers as he cleaned them. I watched him in a blissful combination of shock and lust.” - OHHHHHH I LIKE!!!! THATS MY TYPE! THATS MY TYPE. And frok behind???🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ *head nodding emojis*

“Unfortunately for me, this was the first time in my life that my mouth had written a check that my ass couldn't cash.” - i thought we was ending on this as a cliffhanger here which would be been wild and evil 😈 but theres more ahhh🙈

YUP YOU NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN REMEMBER WORDS TERRY

WELL SHIT

*you tell em baby gif*

Not the sex making you lose grip on reality. It must be SOMETHING!!!!

“…Don't worry. Imma talk you through it like I always do…” see that throughline?!?!? *faints*

Nah i got bad knees. Cant be doing all that bending but go on Athena 🫣🤭

PLEASE BOTH TERRY AND ATHENA GOT THINGS UP THEY SLEEVES. LOCK IN GIRL!!!🤭🙂‍↕️

YOURE NOT DONE?!?! 😳

WOW. And now the story is done 🥹

Wow thank you for this blessing. Im going through the mentions. Im making my way back 🙂‍↕️🫡

Let Me Teach You

Pairing: Toxic Professor!Terry Richmond x Plus Size Fem Black!OC

Wordcount: +7K

Warnings: MDNI (18+) mature content, such as cursing, teasing, heavily dialogue-centered, use of pet names (Daddy, Mama, baby girl, lil' mama, pretty girl, good boy, etc.), P in V, Toxic Dom!Terry *if you squint and turn your head*, breeding kink

A/N¹: This is a single one-shot with no planned sequels.

A/N²: I'm open to critiques. I am a little 🤏🏽 sensitive about my writing. Please, don't be too harsh.🥺 Feel free to bring my attention to any typos. Divider by ME (theereina). Also, this work is not to be plagiarized or reposted (on any site other than here on Tumblr). I do NOT give consent for any form of republishing or rewriting.

Masterlist: 🔥🔥🔥

ding

Shanice: wya

Me: Heading to the Eng. 2 study session for finals

Shanice: aww, you going to see bae🥰

Me: STFU!

Shanice: why you mad? you know i ain't lying

Me: Go to hell. I ain't got time for this. BYE!

Shanice: oop! k, bye hoe

As I approached the door to the classroom, I saw a sign taped on the glass. There was a message written in red.

Study session moved to the library

Oh, come on! That meant I now had to walk across campus. Reluctantly, I turned on my heels and walked toward the exit at the end of the hallway.

Opening the double doors, the winter breeze whipped me across the face. I knew my face was probably red and puffy. The tip of my nose was left stinging from the wrath of the cold. I was pissed because I had dressed way too lightly for this. I was only wearing a black T-shirt dress, thin black tights that looked like stockings, and a black and white varsity letterman jacket. At least, my furry black boots were doing a hell of a job keeping my feet warm.

10 minutes later

As I walked into the assigned study room, I was confused by it being empty. I took a seat on the third row which was closer to the back of the room.

I always felt more comfortable being as far away from the front as possible. It made it easier to get lost in the sea of students when professors and teachers wanted responses.

Placing my bag on the floor beside me, I begin to unpack my notes and final essay. Leaning over with my head facing the door, I see a pair of feet walk into view. My body tenses up because I know exactly who these brown loafers belong to. I immediately feel my heart rate quicken as I battle to calm the butterflies in my stomach.

“I guess you're the only one concerned with your final grade. I hope they know this is a proctored exam through a lockdown browser,” Professor Richmond said, walking to the front of the room.

“If they don't, they'll find out,” I laughed while sitting up. I slid my jacket off my shoulder and placed it over the back of the seat.

“You know what? I'll give them 15 more minutes, otherwise, I guess it's just you and me,” he said, winking.

I grew immediately hot. I could feel myself blushing. I didn't want him to see my face, so I quickly dropped my head.

“Fine with me,” I mumbled.

“What was that, love?” he asked, turning away from the whiteboard to look at me.

“Oh, um… I said that that was fine with me,” I said louder than before. I still didn't raise my head to look back at him.

“Ok. I hate… never mind. I'll keep my thoughts to myself,” he said, turning to the whiteboard.

“Never mind what? Speak your truth, professor. You hate what?” I asked, flipping through my notes.

“When you don't look at me while speaking. I like to know I have your attention. It lets me know if you're at least engaged,” he said, writing on the board.

“I just have a hard time with eye contact. Too much of it makes me… uncomfortable, I guess. I wish I knew that bothered you sooner,” I said, lifting my head to look at his back.

My eyes locked in on the movement of his back muscles. Through the material of his collared shirt, I could tell this man was sculpted like a God. I dropped my head and pressed my thighs together. I shouldn't be thinking about this man like this, but damn… I had been struggling with this feeling all semester.

“Especially, when it comes to you, it's not often that I meet someone with equally, if not, more striking eyes. Yours are just mesmerizing,” he said. I could hear him exhale with a shudder.

“Uh, professor… Are you okay?” I asked, looking at him.

His movements had paused as if he were lost in thought. I noticed that his grip on the dry-erase marker seemed dangerously tight.

He let out a much calmer breath than the first, “Yes.. yes, I'm fine. What about you?”

“Yes, sir,” I said, questioning if he was telling the truth. His mouth said one thing, but his body told another story.

My thoughts began to roam as I grasped that he called my eyes striking and mesmerizing. I was so used to people calling them beautiful or pretty that I was honestly stumped.

As I waited on his instructions, I lingered on the difference in his word choice. There had to be intention behind those words. You would only use those words if the person affected you, right? So, why would Professor Richmond use those words about me?

“Athena! Athena! Can you hear me?” Professor Richmond called out.

“Yeah. Yeah. I can… Shit,” I said, stopping in my tracks when I realized he was standing in front of me.

His 6’3 frame was probably the most intimidating yet sexy thing ever. His broad posture dominated the space in front of me. His musky cologne smoldering and intense— sandalwood and amber flooded my nostrils. This man's entire being was overwhelming my senses. All while silently drawing me in.

“I called your name a few times. You didn't answer me. You had me scared for a second,” he said, leaning down to look at me.

He leaned over so that his arms were propped on the table. Raising his eyebrows, he was waiting for me to recollect myself.

“You sure you're okay?” he questioned softly.

“Yes, sir. I promise. I was in my head and didn't realize you were that close,” I said, leaning back in the chair. I wanted to create as much space between us as possible.

“I'm sorry if I scared you, hun. That was never my intention. Just wanted to make sure my favorite girl was okay,” he said, placing his hand over his heart.

“I know. I'm fine. Uh…” I said, scanning around the room. I paused as I realized he was doing it again— using questionable words.

“Yeah, no one else showed up. Since it's just you and me, you might as well move closer. There's no reason for you to be way over here,” he said, motioning towards the front.

I nodded my head yes. I leaned down to grab my bag from the floor. Looking up, I see the professor has grabbed my things that were on the table. He walked to the front of the room and placed them on the table in the front row. He positioned me so that I was right in front of him.

Standing up with my bag and jacket, I walked to sit in the seat he chose. I was in no mood to argue or move seats. Hell, I probably couldn't even if I tried.

I quickly sat down and focused on the topics of the upcoming study session. I decided to ask as few questions as possible because I needed to get this over with. The thought of being alone with his fine ass for almost 2 hours… Jesus Devanté Christ help me.

1 hour and 45 minutes later

“So, what do you have planned for the rest of the day? Anything interesting?” he asked while walking behind me.

As we exited the study room, I noticed how empty the library was. As expected, the campus was becoming more and more desolate as the end of the semester drew near.

“No, sir. I'm going to check out a poetry book for a quick read. You know…. Something I can finish before they close the library for the semester,” I said, shrugging my shoulders.

“Hmm… I've noticed that you seem more drawn to poetry. Your poems are honestly some of the most… insightful and beautiful ones I've read from a student in a long time. You should do something with that?” he said, walking alongside me.

“Thank you, but what do you mean by do something?” I asked, stopping to look at him.

“Publish them, Athena. You don't even have to publish all of them as a full body of work. I just want people besides me and your classmates to experience them,” he said earnestly.

I smacked my lips. “Professor Richmond, really? Don't act like you didn't see me sweating like a pig while reading them to the class!” I exclaimed.

“Of course, I did. That's why I… talked you through it,” he said, looking me up and down.

“Talked me through it is an understatement. You practically had to hold my hand each time,” I laughed into my hand.

“Yeah, I definitely had to help you find your big girl voice,” he said, rolling his eyes playfully.

“I know my voice is normally low, but you didn't have to say it like that. That was mean,” I said in a fake pout.

“Aww, I'm sorry. My bad, love. I just know you're capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for. I wish I had more time to pull it out of you,” he said, biting his bottom lip.

I froze as I watched his lip settle between his teeth. My breathing hitched silently. His lips were a blessing to look at— bright pink, plump, and full. The smoothness reminded me of rose petals, intensifying my desire to want to kiss and suck on them. I yearned to know what they felt like against my lips and skin.

Snapping myself out of my lust-induced trance, I brought myself back to our current conversation. This was the first time someone other than Shanice had been so enthusiastic about my writing.

“I don't know. The thought of so many people possibly reading my thoughts scares me. I treat my poetry like diary entries most of the time,” I said, swaying from side to side.

“No pressure. This is your art we're talking about. Just consider it, okay? Actually, there's something I would like you to read if you'd allow me to make a suggestion,” he asked, placing his hand on my shoulder.

“Sure. I trust your judgment,” I replied.

“Ok. Follow me,” he said, placing his hand on my lower back and guiding me through the library.

He guided me towards the section of the library labeled erotica. I was honestly a bit confused. I side-eyed the professor. Why would he bring me here?

“Ok, listen to me. Don't… umm… don't back out on me. If you do feel uncomfortable, you can walk away now,” he said, nodding at me.

“I'm fine,” I said, gesturing towards the shelf.

“That's my girl. I promise that I won't let you down,” he said, smiling as he turned to scour the shelf. I watched in awe as his fingers glided across the spines of the array of books.

Professor Richmond turned to me and handed me a book. It was small but hefty. The edges of the pages weathered from years of use. This was a sign of a well-loved book.

I looked up to find the professor staring at me. His smile was bright and wide enough to reach his eyes as they twinkled in excitement.

“A Woman in the Wild. Hmm…,” I said, turning the book over and reading the back.

From the cover and the synopsis, it was obvious this book was sexual in nature. The cover was extremely sensual yet tasteful. It was more suggestive than direct, depicting a woman holding a peach dripping in honey in front of her lower abdomen.

“It's about a woman's journey of exploring sex in her 20s. I think you'll like it,” he said, holding his hands together.

I giggled at his reaction. He looked like a kid sharing their favorite toy. “Professor Richmond is into raunchy writing, huh?” I giggled.

“Why do you sound surprised?” he questioned before moving closer to me.

“No real reason. Just that—,” I said, stopping myself. I didn't want to make Professor Richmond think I was judging him.

“No, explain. I want to know. What's wrong? You scared of me, Athena?” he questioned, pushing the book downward.

“Of course not!” I responded.

“Then, use your words. I've graded enough of your essays to know you have a helluva way with them, Ms. Athena. Come on. Don't get shy on me,” he said.

“You won't judge me?” I asked sheepishly.

“What're the kids saying, now? Oh, we listen, and we don't judge. Promise,” he said, raising his hands.

“Oh my God! Fine. You just give off nice guy vibes. I can only see you as super sweet and quiet, especially outside of class. You don't seem like the type to really be out there,” I blurted out as fast as I could.

“That's what you think of me?”

“Maybe…”

“Hmm… That's very interesting. What can I do to change that?”

“To be honest, nothing.”

“You know, honestly, I don't like being perceived. It's even worse when it's wrong.”

“Oh, um… I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to offend you, Professor. I just wanted to be honest.”

“Oh, don't be sorry. There's nothing to be sorry for, love. Just be… be… be careful with your cute self.”

“Cute?! Professor, gone somewhere. I'm not finna play with you,” I said, playfully hitting his arm.

“What? Why? You don't think you're cute?” he questioned back.

“First of all, I know I'm cute! The problem isn't what you're saying. It's the fact that YOU'RE saying it.”

“And? So?!” he spat.

“You’re my professor. That's inappropriate, right? Like, can't you get fired for this?”

“Who's going to know? Huh? And, that's funny that me being your professor matters now,” he said, glaring at me.

“Huh?” I asked. My face contorted in confusion. What did he mean by that?

Professor Richmond’s mouth turned upward into a devilish grin.

“Maybe, next time you and Shanice decide to talk about me, you shouldn't do it outside my classroom door. That wasn't very smart. Was it?” he asked, pushing one of my loose strands behind my ear.

“Wait…”

“I think I remember you saying you wanted to know what my hands feel like wrapped around your throat, what my dick looks like when it's hard, what—.”

“Okay! I get it,” I whined. I could feel my face reddening with embarrassment. I dropped my head and began staring at my feet.

“Don't interrupt me because you got caught.”

“Boy, leave me alone!” I said, pushing past the professor. I needed to get away from this man as fast as I could.

He instantly grabs the strap of my bag, pulling me back to him.

“Boy? I'm a grown man. Don't be disrespectful, love. I don't think I deserve that,” he said as a smile began to spread.

“Whatever, professor.”

“I mean, look at how I got you running. You can't wait to get away from me,” he silently laughed.

“Running? From you? Now that's cute!” I scoffed.

“Keep playin’, and I'll show you. Nah… I'll teach you.”

“Teach me then!” I mumbled assertively. “Wait… I… I didn't mean that,” I stuttered, realizing my mistake.

I couldn't comprehend why I was all of a sudden being so bold. This was something I had never done before. Hearing myself speak like this was personally shocking.

“Hahaha, you're scared of me. Just say it,” he said, gesturing for me to walk beside him.

“Scared of what? Professor, you're probably one of the least intimidating people on campus to me. You can't be serious about all of this, right?” I probed, hoping this was all a fever dream or even a joke.

“What? You gone tell that your professor—,” he started to speak.

“Can you not? Jeez, people may hear you,” I whispered.

“Oh, so you ARE scared? Aww, so you definitely wouldn't want people to know that you want to be tied up and spanked while I—,” he began again.

I threw my hand over his mouth and quickly scanned the area around us.

“Hey!” I whisper-yelled. I looked deep into Professor Richmond's eyes, hoping he would catch the hint. I removed my hand from his mouth.

“Yeah, I heard that part, too. You and Shanice can't whisper for shit. You would've been better off just telling me,” he said smugly, shrugging his shoulders.

This side of the professor was an asshole, but… I liked it.

“Ok, so what? I said some nasty shit about you. What're you gonna do about it? Report me or something?” I asked, crossing my arms.

“Nah, I got a better idea. Walk,” he demanded through gritted teeth.

He used his hand on the small of my back to guide me further into the back of the library. I couldn't believe I was letting this happen. With HIM of all people!

Once we were in a dimly lit corner, he stopped me. He stood in front of me, leaning over. “Before I touch you, I want to know that you are okay with this. There's no pressure. You can stop me at any moment, and you can leave. No hard feelings,” he said, stroking my cheek.

“I'm okay. Just a little nervous,” I mumbled as my mind began to race with a million thoughts.

The thought of being caught was my main concern. I knew this part of the library was never used or even looked at because it was where old and abandoned textbooks went to die. There were rows and rows of books before anyone would even come close to us.

“Good. I'm warning you now that I can be a tad bit aggressive,” he said, standing to his full height.

“That's fine. I like aggressive,” I said, resting my hand on his chest.

He dropped his brown leather satchel behind him. “Yeah, I figured. Turn around for me and hand me your bag,” he demanded. His voice had dropped a few octaves and was now a low rumble.

I could feel it as the sound of his voice traveled from my ears straight down to my pussy. I just knew that my leggings were ruined. I had lost all control over this situation. My brain had turned off, and my pussy had turned on.

“I want to hear you say it. Tell me what you want me to do,” he said, leaning into my ear.

The heat from his breath warmed the sides of my neck. Thinking and forming sentences were damn near impossible.

I closed my eyes and drew in a sharp breath as my nervousness took over. I knew myself too well. When I'm nervous, I become a stuttering mess.

“Hey, we talked about this. Whenever you're too nervous to speak, you close your eyes and take a deep breath. You repeat it until you’re calm enough to start, right? Because we don't rush our words out, do we?” he said, softening his tone.

His hands slid across the sides of my hips.

“Right, we don't rush. Ok, I got this,” I whispered while taking deep breaths.

“Of course you do, love. Ease into it, and take your time. I really wanna hear it from you,” he said, firmly holding my waist.

“I… umm… I want you to—,” I stuttered as I stumbled on every word.

“Think about what you want to say first. Then, slowly talk me through it. I wanna know every little detail. Do you understand?” he asked.

“Ye—. Whew. Yes, sir. I… I understand,” I replied.

“Good girl. All I want you to do is focus on telling me all your little fantasies. I don't care about how nasty or how dark they are. Say it. And, one more rule— pretend like I'm not here. Okay?” he asserted.

“Yes, sir,” I whimpered with shaky hands.

“Calm down your mind first, and your body will follow. Isn't that what I taught you?” he whispered into my ear.

I could feel him take a step back as his hands slid from around my waist. Thank God! His hands being on me was making me overwhelmingly anxious.

I shook my body as much as possible, trying to release the nerves. I focused on clearing my mind of all the negative thoughts that were coming up— this was inappropriate, he was going to laugh, and I was making a fool of myself.

I wanted to glance back at him for reassurance, but I knew he hated it when we looked at him during our oral presentations.

I inhaled a deep breath and relaxed my shoulders on the exhale. I was going to do this.

I WAS GOING TO MAKE SURE I MADE PROFESSOR RICHMOND PROUD.

“Okay….” I said slowly and evenly.

“If you are ready, proceed. Make sure your posture is engaged and your voice is both loud and direct. Got it?” he asked as his voice rumbled from a few feet behind me.

I nodded my head yes and began speaking. “I want you to choke me while playing in my pussy. I want to feel the full wrath of your hands until you leave your mark on my ass and thighs. I wanna know what your dick feels like in my hands. I wanna know what it feels like if I lick it with my tongue. I want to use my mouth to drain you until there's nothing left,” I said slowly as I vocalized all of my dirtiest thoughts.

“Ughh… Fuck, baby girl. That it?” he asked as his voice shook.

“No! I want you to fuck me until my walls remember the shape. I want you to fuck me like my body was made with only you in mind. I want to turn my brain off, and let myself just… just let you take control. I desire to please you with every part of me. I want to make you moan over and over again so that it'll be the only sound in my mind for weeks. And, when we're done, the thought of touching myself is ruined by my body remembering the way your hands felt.”

“Enough!” he grunted.

It was clear that what I said had affected the professor tremendously. Every breath he took came from his chest like thunder. He was struggling.

“Professor?” I asked, attempting to turn around.

“Call me Terry!” he grumbled.

He grabbed my shoulders to prevent me from doing so. I took that as a sign to remain still as I waited for him to say or do something. The silence was driving me insane.

Terry abruptly pulled me back into him. His chest collided with my back. I let out a loud gasp. Terry's hand flew over my mouth.

“Don't! I'll give you everything you want as long as you stay quiet. Got it, love?” he asked as his hand slowly fell from my mouth.

I shook my head yes.

“Good girl. Now, all you gotta do is focus on staying quiet and enjoying yourself. Take off your tights and hand me your panties,” he said.

“What panties?” I asked smugly.

“No panties, huh?” he laughed menacingly. I could tell he was shocked.

“None. I promise,” I said, raising my hand. I laughed at his reaction.

“Oh, I gotta see this for myself!” he said, sliding his hands around my waist.

They slowly dropped to my pussy. Using his knee, he pushed my legs open. His fingers slid over the crotch of my tights and rested between my legs. When his hands stopped moving, I knew exactly what he found— a wet and sticky mess.

My inner thighs and pussy were becoming warmer by the second. I could feel myself becoming fidgety. This man was making an absolute mess of me.

“Oh, that's nice. I hope you don't like these tights,” he whispered as he used his fingers to rip open the middle seam.

I gasped again before catching myself. I brought my hand over my mouth.

“Unless you want me to stop—,” he started.

“Mmm mmm!” I mumbled, shaking my head.

His hand rubbed up and down the slit of my pussy. Dipping his fingers between my lips, he wiggled them back and forth in the sticky mess. He slowly pulled his fingers out and brought them to my mouth. With no hesitation, I parted my lips and stuck out my tongue. I was more than ready to lick my cum off his fingers.

“As much as I want to finish you here, I want all of you. Having you in this library isn't enough for me. I want to hear you moan and scream. I want to hear you say my name while you struggle. I need more, Athena. Where's your phone?” he asked, leaning over my shoulder as his chin nuzzled into my neck.

“In my pocket,” I whimpered.

Terry reached around the sides of my letterman jacket, searching each pocket. He pulled out my phone and took a step back.

After a minute or so, he walked in front of me. Glaring down at me for a second, he slowly closed his eyes. He was just as overcome with lust as I was. His eyes were practically slits, and it appeared that he was possibly biting the inside of his cheek.

“Here. You now have my personal number, and I have yours. I will text you with instructions on where to meet me. One question before we go our separate ways. Do you feel comfortable coming to my home, or would you rather meet somewhere else?” he asked, handing me my phone back.

I grabbed it and placed it back into my pocket.

“Your place,” I answered while rocking back and forth.

“Hmmm. Ok, you sure about that?” he asked.

“Yes. It's less likely that we'll be spotted, right? Plus, it's where you'll be most comfortable,” I said, staring him down.

“Oh, you're a big girl, huh? If you knew what was best for you, you wouldn't keep staring at me like that. I'll happily say fuck this job and fuck you right here,” he said, licking his lips.

I watched his tongue closely. Between his words and his tongue, I was losing my fucking mind. I began to think of all the nasty things he could use that tongue for.

“Hey, you gotta stop. I'm struggling just as much as you are, mama. We gotta at least leave this library in decent condition,” he laughed.

I wanted to yell out fuck being decent, but I knew he wouldn't like that very much.

“Ok. Sorry,” I said, snapping out of it.

“It's alright. Just go straight to your dorm and get cleaned up. Also,…” he said, stepping closer. “Don't touch yourself,” he said, tilting my head to look at him.

“Yes, sir,” I said.

“Good girl, and don't make me come find you,” he drawled, winking at me.

We said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. Terry suggested that I leave the library first.

I left and walked to my dorm room in absolute silence. I gripped the strap of my bag for dear life. My emotions were in a whirlwind. I didn't know how to feel about what just happened.

I wanted Professor Richmond in the worst way. I had never had a man make me melt in his hands.

How the fuck was I going to make it through the night? Granted, I wasn't a virgin, but I was definitely nowhere near Terry's level of experience.

Unfortunately for me, this was the first time in my life that my mouth had written a check that my ass couldn't cash.

Later That Night ~ After 9 pm

ding

Terry: Hi, I was just letting you know to wear something cozy.

Me: Hmmm… That's not what I was thinking.

Terry: ???

Me: I had something else in mind.

Terry: 1 attachment

Me: How's that?

Terry: Oh, that's better than I had in mind. TBH, I didn't know you had it in you. Maybe, my good girl isn't so good after all.😈

Me: Wow! You know, I don't like being perceived. It's even worse when it's wrong.🤭

Terry: Not you using my words against me.

Me: I was trying to remember where I had heard that before.😏

Terry: Sassy much?

Me: 😂🤭

Terry: Wear whatever you like, love. It's not like you're going to keep it on anyway.

Me: Well, then… Maybe, I'll just wear nothing.

Terry: You're not going to like the outcome of that. TRUST ME! So, behave.

Terry: Also, I hope you followed my rule.

Me: I did.🙄

Terry: You know you have to see me soon, right? So, all this sass and attitude will be addressed, love.

Me: What're you going to do about it?

Terry: See you soon.😈👿

Later That Night at Terry's Townhouse

As soon as I entered, all it took was a single look for me to know I was in for a wild night. We didn't even make it to the bedroom because Terry had other plans. He wasn't joking when he said my attitude would be “addressed”.

Now, here I was on my knees in front of Terry as he stood in the middle of his living room. We didn't even make it farther than 10 feet into the room before Terry started his attitude adjustment.

With a mouthful of dick, I was struggling to answer his questions. Between my saliva and his precum, the mess inside my mouth was becoming hard to contain. As spit bubbles formed and poured from the sides of my lips, I focused on not choking on the sloppy mess building in my throat.

“I wish you knew how pretty you looked right now,” Terry said, fisting the hair at the back of my head.

I mumbled out a weak thank you.

“Don't talk while your mouth's full. That's rude. Just nod your head, love. There you go. That's my pretty girl.”

“So, are you done having an attitude, yet?”

I eagerly nodded my head yes, tugging lightly on the handcuffs behind my back.

“I don't know. I'm not really convinced. Hmmm… Open,” he demanded, grabbing both sides of my face.

I opened my mouth and pulled back. My breathing was erratic and sharp as I gasped for air. I had been sitting on my knees with Terry's dick in my mouth for at least 10 minutes— no sucking, no licking, no moving. Just sitting there… All the while, he stood there talking his shit.

A trail of my saliva and his precum hung from my lips, dripping onto my chest. It only added to the preexisting mess on my face, neck, and chest.

“Eyes!” he barked, causing me to look up at him. “Next time, are we gonna behave?”

I nodded my head yes.

“Speak. I need to hear you say it.”

“Yes, sir,” I said, pleading with my eyes.

“That's my girl. That's all I wanted. Clear understanding, baby. Now, come here.”

Terry leaned down and carefully lifted me to my feet. My knees were sore and wobbly upon standing.

“I promise to be nicer for the rest of the night,” he said, walking around me.

He unlocked the handcuffs and removed them gently. Tossing them on the couch, he walked to stand in front of me again. He lightly grabbed each of my wrists and massaged them.

“Too much?”

“No,” I giggled.

“Hmm…,” he scoffed. “Lesson learned, huh?”

“Yes, sir. But, a reminder every once in a while won't hurt.”

“Don't tempt me, love,” he said, pulling me by my waist.

“My bad.”

“Why are you so bold all of a sudden? Where was this energy in class?”

“Well… No one else is around. The only person I have to worry about is you.”

“I guess. Make yourself comfortable. I'll be right back.”

Terry turned to walk away from me and disappeared down the hall.

I sat on the couch, flexing my wrists. As I waited, I glanced around the room. His home was spotless. He was clearly a man who believed in minimalism.

I turned my body to face the mirror. I laughed at my reflection. I was still covered in the mess we made. My chest and lower face were shiny and slightly slimy.

As I touched the puddle on my chest, I could hear Terry returning.

“A towel,” he said as he rounded the back of the couch.

“Thank you. I need it,” I said, reaching for the towel.

“I gotchu, baby. I did make the mess.”

Terry planted himself in front of me and stood between my legs. With one hand on my left cheek, he used the other to gently tilt my head to look at him. As he cleaned off my face and chest, the warmth of the soft plush fabric felt so much better than the cold slimy mess that once was.

“Better?” he asked, looking me in the eyes.

“Yes. Much better,” I smiled back.

“Would you like something to drink or eat? I have wine if you'd like some.”

“No, thank you. Plus, I don't drink.”

“Really? That's… uh… surprising, I guess. It's not something you hear often. Any particular reason?”

“Never wanted to, so I just never started.”

“That's definitely something to be proud of.”

I shrugged my shoulders.

Terry squatted in front of me, placing his hands on my knees. “So, I'll leave it up to you, Athena. How do you want this to go? We can sit here for a while or we can—,” he started.

I interrupted him with tenacity. “Fuck me already!” I yelled.

I can tell that Terry was shocked by my statement, but I was sick of waiting. This man had no idea of how many nights I dreamed of this happening, how many times I fingered myself wishing it were him, or how many times I yearned to touch some part of him.

“That's all I needed to hear,” Terry said, standing.

Without another word, he lifted me onto his shoulder. My hands flailed around in horror. I was instantly afraid that he would drop me.

“Don't worry, baby. This isn't my first time. Relax, I gotchu.” He laughed.

20 LONG Minutes Later

“Oh, Terry. Please!” I moaned, pushing at his chest.

Terry's hands grabbed mine and held them against my stomach. I was losing my damn mind in this bed. Now, I was second-guessing if I should've even tried to take the dick.

“Please…just… fuck… I can't!” I yelled.

Terry's hips slowed down again.

“Mmm,” Terry moaned clearly enjoying himself.

“Ahhh, fuck. This feels… it feels…,” I stuttered.

Wrapping his arms around my thighs, he pulled me closer. As if his dick wasn't deep enough, this made it feel deeper.

“Yes, you can. I know you can handle it,” Terry groaned.

I was fighting the urge to disassociate. I was fully prepared for this man to fuck me up and put me through the mattress, but this… THIS!!! I was not. I wasn't being fucked at all. I was being loved on and taken care of.

“Baby girl, stay with me. We talked about this, love. I wanna see those pretty eyes,” Terry said, reaching for my face. His hand cupped the underside of my chin.

I tried my hardest to look at Terry, but I was also I was fighting to stay present. Every fiber of my being was feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated.

“Athena! Look at me, NOW!” Terry ordered.

Listening like a lost child, my eyes opened to find Terry's. His glare was piercing into me— soul-deep. I let out a deep breath, hoping and praying that I didn't pass out.

“That's it, baby. Stay with me. Eyes on me,” he grumbled as his head dropped to watch his dick slide in and out of my pussy.

“Terry! I have… I have… to… unh… pee…,” I stammered, stumbling over every word.

Terry's eyes met mine. His face was overcome with lust. The gaze this man possessed sent chills down my spine. His eyes were low and dark, glazing over more and more by the second.

His thrusts quickened with fervor. Leaning over me, he began to speak again.

“That's not pee, baby. Don't worry. Imma talk you through it like I always do. Okay, mama?”

“Shit! What… I need… but…,” I attempted to respond.

“Don't talk just listen. Relax your abdomen, mama. There you go,” he said, kissing my neck. Stop tensing up. Uhh uhh, don't think about it. You let me worry about all of that.”

His hands wrapped around the back of my knees, pushing them back. I swear I heard my knees pop in my ear from this position.

“Fuck you,” I said absentmindedly.

“That's not nice, but since you asked for it…,” Terry's smile turned into a devilish grin. His hips snapped against my ass, and the force caused the headboard to bang against the wall.

If I didn't know it then, I sure as hell knew it now. THIS MAN WAS ABOUT TO GIVE ME HELL!

“Wait!” I yelled, trying to get out of his grasp.

“No, ma'am. We don't run in this house. Take this shit.”

Pushing up on his legs, I felt like this man was trying to actually fuck me into the mattress. Tears began to fall from the corners of my eyes. If I had just kept my mouth shut, I wouldn't be in this position.

I closed my eyes, trying to just take it. The pressure I felt before was 100x worse now.

“Open your damn eyes! Right now, Athena.”

“I ca—,” I started.

“Nah, you gone show me how good this pussy is, or you ain't cumming at all.”

“Aww, fuck… please… do something,” I begged. I felt like I was about to piss all over this man.

“Okay,” Terry practically laughed as he leaned down, licking the tears falling down my face.

His hand reached over me to grab the top of the headboard. Using it as leverage, Terry used every inch of his dick to punish me. As if I wasn't struggling enough, I had to survive a new level of demon dick Terry. I knew that after this; I would have my wish. My pussy would definitely be molded to only fit him.

“Look at you. That's right, baby. Now, let it go!” Terry moaned loudly.

He used his free hand to press against my abdomen. This singular move was the catalyst for the start of the flood between my legs.

“Oouu… look at you. Stay just like that,” he mumbled through gritted teeth.

His head fell back on his shoulders as he continued to pound into me. It was becoming more apparent that Terry was losing it as his hand slipped from the top of the headboard.

Shifting quickly, he placed one hand by my ear and braced himself on top of me. His head fell forward, and his mouth dropped open. His eyes locked onto mine. I was still too fucked out to speak.

“It's coming, baby. Fuck! This… ahh, fuck.”

“Shh… It's yours. Let it out,” I said, wrapping my legs around Terry's waist. I brought my hands around his back, holding him in place.

I was about to indulge in my little breeding kink fantasy. If he was going to cum, it was going to be IN ME!

“Mama, that's not… uhh, fuck!” Terry groaned as his eyes snapped shut.

I knew what was coming. I felt the warmth of his cum coat the inside of my pussy. Like a switch went off, I released a second orgasm. Terry's breathing became erratic and choppy as his eyes reopened to look at me.

“Shit, that's a dangerous game you playing’, lil girl!” Terry exclaimed, leaning up.

He let my legs fall as he pushed my thighs open.

“Damn!” he said, watching his cum drip from my pussy.

Terry tilted his head so that it was directly over my pussy. His mouth opened slowly. I watched as he let a thick trail of saliva fall straight into the mess between my legs.

“Huh, ahh. Terry!” I said, watching him in shock and lust.

“Yeah, I'm… I'm not done,” Terry said, pushing himself back inside.

All I could do was moan out in pleasure. I grabbed Terry, pulling him back in and forcing him to go deeper. If this is what he wanted, fuck it!

Let's be honest, the nasty freak in me liked this shit. It wasn't like I wanted him to stop anyway.

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avelera · 3 days ago

Note

Was wondering if you had any theories about Viktor's childhood experiences and how exactly that shapes his politics?

I agree that Viktor is largely apolitical and pacifist, and I'm getting the sense that perhaps he believes politics/the council is incapable of solving the issues. After all, they haven't so far, and Viktor does respect Heimerdinger, so rather than Heimerdinger choosing to look away, Viktor perhaps believes it is impossible to solve the problems in the undercity through the council.

When I first watched season 1, I truly had no clue how they were going to be able to resolve the political conflict. The council kind of sucks, but so does Silco, and I don't think Ekko was powerful enough to fully take over.

I can picture Viktor also having no clue. He refuses to make weapons because he knows they'll be used against innocent people in the undercity (and I think he's also opposed to violence as a solution in general), but at this point he doesn't have an alternative solution. He refuses to side with the council, but he doesn't have an alternative. I doubt he even knows Silco is in charge or that he's someone they might negotiate with at this point (I think the council only learns about Silco when Caitlyn returns), so instead he chooses to stay out of it.

And with his cult, I'm getting the sense Viktor still had no clue how to end the conflict between Zaun and Piltover, so he doesn't try, but instead tries to create a safe place for people who, like him, want to escape the violence. It obviously doesn't work out the way he intends, but I do think that was the idea, and perhaps he hoped because of the remote location and his peaceful seperation from society, no one would really bother him. And when they do, he concludes mass hive mind is the only answer to the violence (because he still had no clue how to resolve any of these conflicts)

And all this gives me the idea that Viktor really is desperate to escape that violence, and makes me wonder what he lived through during his time in the undercity that inspires his actions, since we know so little apart from the time he met Singed.

This got a little long, sorry about that, but wondering what theories you had.

I think there's a core assumption to the question that I'd like to isolate out in the hopes it helps me explain how I see Viktor's views.

There's an assumption inherent here that in political times, everyone must be political. But let me point out, most people are not. All you need to do is look at voting turnout numbers to see most people are not political, especially not at the local level where direct action happens. When was the last time anyone reading this voted in their local, municipal election? Do you even know when the next one is?

Now let me add another aspect to this: Piltover is not a democracy. It is by definition an oligarchy, in which power is held in the hands of a small, elite group.

So, in such a world, why would anyone like Viktor think it's even possible for an individual to impact politics? Which is why I think Viktor always saw the only way of impacting the world for the better as being through where his own gifts lay: in science.

But I do think it's more complicated than that. And I want to take the chance to further explore the political landscape as Viktor would have seen it throughout Arcane and why that would be enough to make him take zero interest in politics and have zero hope for its efficacy at solving the problems he wants to solve for people, and that he wants to solve for people regardless of their political background or national identity, because Viktor is shown to be colorblind when it comes to those concepts.

As far as we can tell, the only people with political power in Piltover are the 7 Councilor. The major Houses have some influence, but that's it. Minor Houses, like House Talis, can't even trade upon their meager levels of influence in their own son's trial. Ximena, the presumed matriarch of House Talis in the absence of any extended family for Jaye being shown, has to trade on sentiment. That's how little political power is spread around.

One thing that Vander and Silco were almost certainly pushing for in their protest at the bridge was for "Zaun" to have a political voice at all. This effort was ruthlessly quashed. The undercity doesn't have a representative on the Council, they don't have any Houses, they are effectively voiceless except through riots and protests.

And, as they say, those who make peaceful revolution impossible make violent revolution inevitable.

Furthermore, organized crime tends to spring up and flourish in places that don't have a law of their own, or a law that common people can rely on. See the Italian mafia in the US, which in part sprang up from the fact these communities needed to be self-governing and self-protecting because the official law of the land wouldn't protect them. But then, of course, the criminal forces that stepped into that power vacuum may gain wide acceptance for keeping the peace and providing other social services, but then in order to hold onto power, they're going to prevent the actual authorities from stepping into their territory. Once they have a hold there, there's no elections either, there's no way to cast out a malfunctioning organized crime unit that's providing those social services.

This is more or less what I think happened with Silco. He stepped in and created a society in the undercity, one that he was able to run because Piltover turned its attention outward with the Hexgates, it no longer needed to rely on the labor of the underclasses in the undercity so they left them to their own devices.

But Silco's government was corrupt. I think that gets lost in a lot of Zaun vs. Piltover debates. Silco's Zaun was just as much an oligarchy as Piltover, they had their own Council with the chem-barons who are directly paralleled in the "Sucker" sequence in 2.02. There is no "Piltover is better" or "Zaun is better" they are both corrupt.

Where in the world would Viktor get the idea that the solution to the political problems between Zaun and Piltover would be solved by handing more political power to people like Silco? Why in the world would he reach the conclusion that two oligarchies would be the solution?

And even in such a world where maybe, self-governance would help some people in the undercity, why in the world would Viktor believe he would personally be able to make that happen?

In a society with no democracy, when the one attempt to gain a voice for the undercity was ruthlessly quashed most likely while Viktor was still a student in the Academy, where in the world where Viktor have developed a sense that he could have impact on politics or wouldn't simply die in the attempt if he joined a political movement, thus improving nothing? And if you can't buy into politics in any meaningful way, why pay attention to it?

Viktor has found his keys to the kingdom in science. He has one avenue to excellence, which is solving the material difficulties facing the undercity like cleaning up the air and making the labor there less backbreaking and difficult. He has a narrow focus. Indeed, one of his flaws is that it's kind of "his way or the highway" he doesn't appear to even seriously entertain other avenues besides science for improving lives in the undercity.

This is particularly interesting because he was an assistant to Heimerdinger, albeit in his role as Dean of the Academy I believe. Yet Viktor doesn't see Jayce's role as a Councilor as an avenue towards meaningful change, why?

I genuinely can only speculate there. Why doesn't Viktor ever try to advocate for the undercity when he has access to Heimerdinger? Or, as two scientists, do both just see it as the role of science to better lives down there, rather than political action? Heimerdinger does seem remarkably politically disinterested for someone who is the nominal head of the government. All the wheeling and dealing happens behind his back. Perhaps Viktor is just as oblivious, who knows? Maybe Viktor's lack of political interest is what made Heimerdinger like him enough to employ him as his assistant in the first place.

Now to further answer your question, I'd say Viktor isn't even trying to politically solve anything because it's unthinkable that he would be able to. That's why the undercity independence play I think makes him cautiously optimistic, if you see his face during the vote right before the rocket hits. He never really thought politics could solve this but maybe it can. Maybe the key is to just let the undercity go its own way. I'd argue Viktor seems a bit skeptical when he announces that Jayce brokered a peace with Silco, I don't think Viktor likes Silco, or likes the idea of handing the reins of power to him. But he does appear optimistic when the vote begins to go that way, in I would argue is one of the rare positive political moments for Viktor (the only other that I can think of is when he speaks favorably of Vander's vision for Zaun).

Then the rocket hits, which must be a gut punch of further disillusionment. It's not just Piltover that's preventing Zaun's independence, it's Zaun, it's the cycle of violence, it's the fact that the conflict has gone on for so long and is so ugly that a solution is no longer possible without more bloodshed.

This inevitable bloodshed includes Jinx and Cait's forces wiping out the remaining chem barons, thus in my opinion making the conflict a moot point, because there's no one on the other side to negotiate with anymore. There is no potential Zaun government anymore if there's no one to hand power to, there's no democracy to set up (not in Piltover either, so there's no example of one). Zaun dies with Silco and goes back to being the undercity, an impoverished community within Piltover. Its Shimmer economy dies, which was the only technology that gave it a prayer of competing with Piltover on the battlefield too.

Quick aside, I get that people are mad there isn't more Zaun vs. Piltover in S2, but that's already dead as a conflict in 2.03. Zaun gets decimated as a political player. It has no leadership, no weapons, nothing that allows it to act as an independent state anymore. Piltover won and it did so because Jinx's rocket gave them the motivation they needed to cut off the head of the snake, the snake Jayce was willing to negotiate with to give them their independence.

That's gone now. There is no Zaun. There's no one to give power to. There's no military, no forces, no money. It is not a state anymore. Sevika is trying to rally the various disaffected factions in 2.04 and even that is slow going because of the old internal hatreds. And even if everyone did rally, all Sevika is hoping for is to make enough of a cohesive Zaunite identity to be able to bring grievances to Piltover. She can't even organize that. Zaun doesn't have an identity anymore in 2.04, and not enough internal organization to begin to form anything resembles a town council let alone the government of a nation.

So in that backdrop, where in the world would Viktor have any notion that he can impact events with politics? Or any desire to when the most promising political hope Zaun had, which he had a hand in, was destroyed the second it arrived by a Zaunite who didn't want the deal? This is a difficult, intractable problem.

Of course Viktor would see the best way to "solve" this problem is to not engage with it at all. It's to sidestep it entirely. Go back down to the individual level, help those in need, give them a place away from conflict in which to flourish and live peaceful lives. He essentially starts a monastery during the political Dark Ages of the collapse of order in the undercity, a very natural human response.

Then, he decides the best way to solve this problem is just to stop it. Get everyone on the same side, even if it's into a hivemind. That's why he's willing to take poor shimmer addicts from Zaun like Huck and rich Councilors like Salo from Piltover.

I also think his view is informed by his parallels in the real world in that he's apolitical because he's a scientist, and to a scientist all these lines of caste and creed and nation are meaningless on a biological level, we are all people. That's how I think Viktor sees it. It's part of why I think too, somewhat speculatively, that Viktor only talks about being from the undercity as a place of origin for him, not as an identity, because I think he thinks all such identities are nonsense, they're missing the point of the general advance of humanity, something many scientists around the world feel. I'm more quick to ascribe an attitude I see amongst scientists, engineers, and astronauts to Viktor than I am to ascribe a political identity to him. I don't think he sees political identities are relevant.

For example, besides noting Jayce's privilege when they first meet, he never denounces Jayce as being from Piltover or sees it as a barrier to them working together. He never singles out details of Jayce's identity by birth as being relevant. Because such details are meaningless in science. He only even brings up Jayce's background, I think, the one time when they first meet to point out to Jayce that while he has lost the benefits of his patron and House Talis name, there's still a path forward for him, the one Viktor started with. He mentions it as a reason that Jayce doesn't need to commit suicide when he loses those things. But he doesn't blame Jayce for having them.

At no point, even when Jayce is othering the people of the undercity, does Viktor other him right back as being from Piltover. In my view, Viktor's response is actually, "Hey, a member of your in-group is also from the undercity, stop framing everyone from there as outgroup/other, you know better than this." And Jayce immediately acknowledges that Viktor is right. They are immediately back on the same page that political identity lines are meaningless when it comes to improving lives (aside, real world people who play identity politics do realize we're all aiming for a world where everyone can flourish regardless of their identity, right??).

However, he does admire those like Vander who imagined a peaceful end to the conflict by establishing a nation of Zaun, however it should be noted, I think Viktor saw Vander's effort as inspiring but tragically doomed to failure. Hence, the need for Glorious Evolution, when the most well-intention dreams have no hope of ever happening. Seeing people like Vander fail is part of the disillusionment that makes Viktor further decide to disregard and supersede all politics through his own scientifically endowed magical power.

So anyway I hope this very long, involved essay helps explain a bit better how I view Viktor's politics, specifically his lack of them.

Edit: I just realized you also asked about Viktor's childhood. I have less to say there because we know so little but I would add:

Viktor was othered by people in the undercity as well as people from Piltover. I think that would lend to his view that people are just people, there are no real lines of politics or point of origin that matter. People will isolate him for his disability in both. No one is better than anyone else. It's just that people in Piltover by and large have more resources than those in the undercity, but both will look down on someone like him and avoid him.

You also have the fact that Viktor emigrated to Piltover presumably while still fairly young, either a teen or a young man, one would guess, based on his intellectual ability. I don't think he inherently sees the two cities as being separate, more like just two different areas of town, one of which is disadvantaged. Like moving from a poor neighborhood in Brooklyn to Manhattan. If Brooklyn began to lobby to become its own city or state, separate from Manhattan, some would see that as a good thing from self-governance perspective, others might see it as nonsense, which is where I think Viktor would mostly fall, but more importantly, I don't think he has faith that Brooklyn and Manhattan becoming separate states would really solve anything that matters, when the issues are things like air filtration systems, which can be solved with science.

As for things like, did young Viktor face violence? I think if he did, it would just add to his sense that a lack of resources breeds violence and the undercity needs prosperity to flourish, prosperity brought by scientific innovation. Politics again isn't going to solve these problems.

And I would finally add, Viktor found success and a sense of belonging in Piltover. I don't think he's as down on the place as people make him out to be sometimes. Jayce is from Piltover. Heimerdinger is too, these are two people who accepted Viktor and arguably who have loved him. I think as a result, Viktor would just see Piltover and the undercity as two places of origin within one city, a city he belongs to and wants to help improve by focusing on those in need.

#viktor arcane #jayvik #arcane meta #arcane #piltover #zaun

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tension4mari · 23 hours ago

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LOL I forgot to click this and not comment on your requests post 😭😭 can you please do a nsfw Namgyu x reader fic!!! Oh and can you make him mean… I just know that man is mean

Ahaha, you guys are something 😭.. But I am here to give what the people want!

-`♡´-Paring- Exbf!Nam-gyu x Fem!Reader

-`♡´-Warnings-Sex , blowjobs ,Reader gets eaten out, cursing, toxic Nam-gyu , possessive behavior.

-`♡´-Summary- You somehow found your way in a place where children games are being played and your life is on the line, Every. Single. Game. deciding you're not going out sad you decided to filrt with the one and only Myung-gi. The man who scammed your ex-boyfriend out of all his money. Nam-gyu don't appreciate that.

-`♡´-You wake up inside a room filled with hundreds of people you can only guess. Getting up from the awfully loud music playing you make your way towards the middle of the room. Hearing people complaining about nonsense, like they didn't put themselves in this situation.

-`♡´-They make you all head to a room filled with lots of color. They were making everyone smile at cameras "Tch, creepy much..." you mumble "Right. what the fuck are we even doing." a girl beside you spoke you look down and her number read 196

-`♡´-Before you spoke a guy called out to you both "Hey. You both want to come on this too?" 'Come on" he say urging you both into a photo with some random people. As if you'll take a photo with some creep with purple hair.

-`♡´- You were walking away, taking one more look over your shoulder and back at the guy with the purple hair and his little minions before your eyes are pulled to a special someone

-`♡´-Nam-gyu. What the hell is he doing here? you think to yourself before hurriedly turning away. He saw your retreating figure before clenching his jaw continuing his way towards where you all were being forced to go to

-`♡´-You didn't even think you were going to make it out alive. The girl you were speaking to sure as hell didn't. You all were back in that room. As you sat on your bed all you could think about was Nam-gyu, you didn't even know it, but you were scared.

-`♡´-Deciding to not think about it you got up from your bed going to at least try to be social you spotted a certain person. The man that 'scammed' your ex-boyfriend from his money, walking up to him he was already looking at you.

-`♡´-'Hey! What's your name?" you ask with a smile on your face "Uhm..Myung_gi" he replies before looking at you with stupid eyes "Hm.. Cute name you got there! What's your last name? I might want to share it with you!" you put one of your hands on your hip and the other on his bicep, you could see the guy face burning with red. You secretly laugh to yourself

-`♡´-"Its-" before he could speak his eyes were pulled behide your figure and you furrowed your eyebrows, turning around you were met with your Nam-gyu. "y/n, what the fuck are you doing!?" he says looking down at you angrily, you freeze stareing at him before speaking "Uh.. I'm minding my god damn business, what about you?" You try to sound confident, not wanting him to know how scared you actually were. He stares at before nodding his head, chuckling "Alright, I see how it is bitch" he says before turning away.

-`♡´-You hesitantly made your way back to your bed, digging a feeling someone was watching you. Wanting to dig a whole and climb in it you just sit on your bed before lights go out.

-`♡´-You woke up in the middle of the night, having to use the restroom you found your way towards a door knocking on it. "Helloo?? is somewhere in there? I have to peeee" you exaggerate groaning. Some guard with a square mask looks thru the peep hole "Hey! I have to use the bathroom, can you open the door please" you say smiling nicely at the guard

-`♡´-They closed the peep hole back up "What the fuck?" "Hey man I need to use the bathroom, I'm on my period!" you blabber out a lie "Shit... I might leak through these cheap ass sweatpants!"

-`♡´-Soon enough they open the door allowing you to go to the restroom "Apparently you can't be nice to people in here." you whisper under your breathe.

-`♡´-You easily make your way to the women's bathroom, going in a stall and closing it, you hear the bathroom door open then close. Whoever they were they mad themselves towards the stall you were in knocking on the stall. "I'm here in!" you call out.

-`♡´-'Thump thump thump', knocking again. "I said I'm fucking in here! Its plenty of stall for you to go in! stop being annoying!" you yell, getting up and flushing the toilet "Alright whoever you are you can get this fucking stall I'm doing pissing." you mumble before unlocking the stall and opening it, just to find yourself face to face with Nam-gyu.

-`♡´-"What the fuck are you doing in here you damn weirdo!" shock is ridden all over your face with a hit of scariness, God you didn't like this feeling one bit. "Stop being so bitchy, y'know you miss me!" he replies Laughy, you scoff "As if." you say stepping aside to go wash your hands. "Where do you think you damn going!?" he says with a hint of anger

-`♡´-"Your gonna leave again? Hm? because if you think you are your fucked in the head." he walks up to your turned body, hands resting on your hip tight enough to hurt. "Let go of me you dickface!" you can't help but feel a little bad for leaving him at his lowest, after he lost all his money you had to think for yourself, knowing if you stayed you would have been in more debt than what you had.

-`♡´-His hands still on your waist, he brings his face into the crack of your neck "Hey man, I said let me go. you're starting to piss me off." you spoke hoping he would let you go, which he didn't. "Why'd you leave me 'y/n'? he spoke softly in your neck, you're quiet. "I asked you a question, why did you fucking leave me?" he said getting angrier "I gave you fucking everything!" "And you left me. You were always such a bitch" he spoke moving his hand from your waist towards the curve of your ass. groping and you can't help but melt in his touch.

-`♡´-"Did you leave me so you could be with that god damn scammer?" he speak before moving his face back into your neck, mouth latching onto your skin. you silently moan from him sucking on your sweet spot he knew oh so well.

-`♡´-"Where you going to let him fuck you?" he asks getting mad at his own question. Hands going onto the waistband of your sweatpants pulling them down, he stares at the outline of your pussy, groaning before using his hand to feel the slit of you pussy in your panties. he then brings his now hard dick to rub against your ass

-`♡´-"Oh-Fuck." he groans while he leans his head back. "I bet you still taste amazing." he says before pulling your panties down to your ankles. Getting onto his knees, he's looking directly at your wet cunt.

-`♡´-"You fucking slut..." he mumbles before smashing his face onto your pussy licking, and sucking like his life depended on it. "Ah-ah shit Nam-gyu..." Moaning out his name

-`♡´-He brings his hands in-between your thighs spreading them apart even more. "Im gonna cummm" you moan "Don't stop Nam-gyu-". He then stops, your wet slick all over his face. "What the fuck?" you come from your dazzled state. "You really thought I'll let you come that easily after all that shit you put me through?" he laughs.

-`♡´-He stands up freeing his harden dick from his pants, smacking it on your wetness before shoving his dick in you fully. "Ow, shit!" you turn your head back staring at him. "Shut the hell up you dumb bitch" he pulls out of you before going back in again.

-`♡´-"You always had a mouth on you..." "Talking like you were better than everyone" he says groaning, dick still going back in fourth in your cunt roughly. "Yeah? so what." you mumble under your breath still taking him fully. "It makes me hard." he says still fucking you hard. "Thats because you're a fucking creep!"

-`♡´-"Yet, you're letting me fuck you." he says groaning "Thats all i ever needed you for-" he pulls out of you in a fast pace grabbing your hair throwing you on the ground. "Oh yea? You're nothing but a fucking slut." he speaks out

-`♡´-You're now on your knees looking up at him "I'm going to use that nasty mouth of yours to finally shut you the hell up." he says going to grab his dick slapping it on your face softly "Open up bitch" you have no choice, so you obey to his request, "Good girl." he whispers before shoving himself down your throat.

-`♡´-"Your mouth s-still feels so good-" he's now breathing heavily, almost near his end. He's so rough. You try to tap his thighs letting him know you can't breathe. He only stares down at you before grabbing your hair pushing himself more into your mouth. "F-fuck-" he's groaning loudly, and you can barely hear your thoughts, you seriously can't fucking breathe.

-`♡´-Your eyes start to form tears, and all he's doing is staring at you. "This is what you fucking get-" he breaths out before releasing himself in your mouth. He pulls himself out your now sore throat. You have your mouth opened with all his cum. he grabs your jaw roughly. "Swallow it" he says sternly. you close your mouth before swallowing all his seed. "Lemme see, open your mouth." you obey and open your mouth.

-`♡´-"Good." he says before letting go of your jaw, lightly tapping you on your face. He pulls his close on before heading towards the door "If I ever see you speaking to that fucking freak again. I'm will kill you both." he says before leaving.

-`♡´-"wow. What a bitch" you say before getting up and washing your mouth out, cleaning yourself up. You stare at yourself in the mirror. "I didn't even get to cum..." you say sadly while leaving the bathroom.

Ugh. I tried 😩

#squid game x reader #squid game #nam gyu #squid game smut #squid games x reader #smut #ex bf problems #player 124

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kawoala · 2 days ago

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DRIVEN BY ADRENALINE suna rintarou. chapter 009 ; that’s how it is.

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২ 𓂅 ࣪ ೨ ; 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 (1,681)

২ 𓂅 ࣪ ೨ ; 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 (profanity, MORE RUNA X TERUSHIMA IM SORRY I CANT STOP, arguing, fist fighting 😬, more angst, oikawa appearance [sorry oikawa fans], reckless driving)

You must have hit your head. You hit your head and you don’t remember it because why else would you show up to yet another race, all by yourself?

It’s colder tonight, making you regret your choice of clothes; shorts you borrowed from Runa, and a band t-shirt you’ve had since high school. Once again, your arms are wrapped around yourself. To warm yourself up, but also because you know people are staring at you. They never seem to stop, the eyes never seem to stray from you.

There’s a lot more people here tonight and you’re not sure why. There were people talking about something called Race Wars, but upon hearing that, you’d scrunched your face up in confusion and shook your head. Race Wars? You thought that was an abandoned concept— an odd thing to hear in this day and age.

You're just walking at this point, staring at the brightly colored cars, wrapped in anime girls and mushrooms that have red eyes and smoke surrounding them.

A car revs its engine somewhere off to your left, and you flinch, head whipping over to look at it. It’s neon blue, has racing stripes, and wings on the back of it. Again, the word tacky flashes in your mind. You observe the car, the people around it, then lock eyes with a brunette leaning against the side of it. He smirks, then glances at his car, and pushes himself off of it, making his way over to you.

Your heart rate spikes. You want to move, want to run away and go back to your dorm, but something stops you. The memory of the high you felt in Rin’s car. If you stay in your spot and allow this man to approach you, there’s a chance you can feel that again. There’s a chance you can feel that free again.

You unwrap your arms from yourself, allowing them to hang awkwardly at your side. You put a small smile on your face and bat your eyelashes at the man.

“You’re lost.” A statement, not a question. He looks you up and down, taking in your form, then meets your eyes again. Brown, dangerous, and, dare you say, hot. “Where’s your boyfriend, hm? Stupid of Rin to let you just… walk around, right?”

Just the mere mention of his name makes your stomach turn. You clear your throat and lick your lips, letting your eyes travel down to his lips. You haven't had to flirt this hard since your first year of high school, when you needed the answers for homework. “I don’t have a boyfriend,” you say calmly. He raises his eyebrows and you giggle. God, this is pathetic. “I like your car. It’s pretty. Is it fast?”

“Is it fast?” He repeats in an incredulous laugh. You watch him take note of your face, the sultry smile, the way your eyes are full of challenge. “It’s fast,” he says, narrowing his eyes just a smidge. “Wanna find out just how fast?”

You bite your lip. The excitement that spreads throughout your veins makes you shiver. You don’t want to get ahead of yourself, though, so you tilt your head dumbly and furrow your brows. “And how do you propose that?”

He hums, an intrigued smile etching its way onto his face. He takes a step forward, now a paltry two inches away from you. He leans into your space, warm breath fanning your ear. “Why don’t you sit your pretty self in my passenger seat and we can find out from there, hm?”

Again, a shiver racks through you. He pulls away, licking his lips, and you nod, vision going a little blurry. “Okay,” you whisper, smiling softly. He jerks his head towards his car, and you follow as he walks back to his car. He opens the passenger door for you and, this time, you give him a genuine smile. He may seem a little douchebag-y, but that was a kind gesture.

You watch him jog around the front of the car, then get in. He glances over at you, a cocky smile on his face. You almost roll your eyes, but save yourself with another giggle. He shifts his car into drive and you take a quiet deep breath, silently preparing yourself for the high that you’re about to experience.

As he slowly pulls up to the starting line and, as he does so, you stare out the window, taking in all the people staring at you. You wonder how many times this guy has brought a girl along with him.

And then you remember that you don’t even know ‘this guys’ name. You blink a couple times, but the car jolting to a stop pulls you from your haze. You look over to the brunette man, but he’s staring out his now open window.

Rin’s car is sitting beside him. Rin is staring at you. There’s a look on his face that you can’t quite place. Just a slight furrow of his brows, a look in his eyes that makes your chest hurt. You suddenly feel the urge to throw up.

“Looks like your girl wanted to race with a real man, Rinnie-boy,” the man calls out, leaning out of the window. Rin doesn’t respond, but hesitates before rolling up his window.

Your eyes drift to your hands sitting in your lap. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe ignoring Rin was a mistake. Your mind is full of regrets and Rin. You look up to the driver's seat, mouth open, ready to tell him that you want to get out, but his gaze is dead set on the woman in front of the cars. Your breathing gets a little heavier. You can’t get out of this now. The world seems to move in slow motion as the woman brings her hand down and both of the cars take off.

Your head jerks back, hitting the headrest hard. Instantly, your head hurts. The man doesn’t seem to care; his foot presses the gas pedal harder. It’s fine, at first. Just a straight road. But then the first turn comes into view. The turn where Rin had crashed his car not even a week ago.

Your eyes dart over to the man, who now has a worried look on his face. It’s not a good expression to see when you’re just as, if not more, terrified than he is. His grip on the gear shift tightens and he jerks it into a different gear, just barely avoiding crashing straight into the wall.

The adrenaline you feel now is different from before. In Rin’s car, you felt free. You felt like you were flying. You felt like your boring life from before was being left behind. But this is terrifying. You feel like you’re seconds away from death at every waking moment. Every shift of a gear, every turn, every grunt from the man— you gradually get closer and closer to tears.

Rin’s car is in front of you, of course. He once said something about never having seen a pair of tail lights and, right now, you’re sure he was telling the truth. Rin’s car passes the finish line, and the car you’re in follows close behind, but not close enough. Both of the cars are surrounded by people. The man you rode with is hitting his steering wheel in frustration. You don’t look at him as you open the door and stumble out.

It’s almost like there’s a fishbowl over your head right now. There are people cheering around you, but they’re all muffled. You think Runa comes up to you, but your vision is so blurred, you can’t tell.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Oikawa?” There’s a shout. It’s not at you, you don’t think. Looking over at the bright blue car only confirms that. Rin is standing in front of the other brunette— Oikawa— inches away from his face, screaming. “That was the stupidest shit I’ve ever seen in my life. You took that corner way too fucking fast. And with someone in the car with you? Have you ever driven a car in your entire life?”

“I took that corner way too fast?” Oikawa yells back, voice incredulous once again. “Let me remind you that you totaled your car two weeks ago because you took that corner too fast. Don’t get pissed off just because I did it better, asshole.”

The crowd starts to whisper, many of them donning wide eyes and surprised expressions. The whispers get worse when Rin rears his arm back and clocks Oikawa in the jaw.

Runa gasps loudly, loud enough to break the bubble that was floating around your head. Suddenly, everything is too loud, too much. She looks at you, a torn expression on her face. She doesn’t know whether to break up the fight, or stay with you.

“Go,” you say hoarsely, nodding towards the men.

Oikawa is on the ground, Rin on top of him, throwing punch after punch. Oikawa flips them over, landing a few blows to Rin, and then a flash of blonde goes by and Oikawa is on the ground. Terushima has tackled Oikawa. Runa abandons you and quickly runs over to them, pulling Terushima off of Oikawa.

Everyone is looking at the three of them. Rin is on the ground, holding the bridge of his nose, mouth covered in blonde. Oikawa is sitting up, knees bent, arms resting around them, head hanging. Runa is lecturing Terushima, he’s looking at the ground like a child.

You knew it was a mistake. You knew coming back to another race was a bad idea, yet you did it anyway. And this is what happens? You’re a bad luck charm. You don’t belong here. It’s obvious. Your presence has seemingly caused a car crash and now a fist fight? You need to go, you need to leave.

You turn on your heel and start walking away. Everyone around you is too busy to even notice your departure. That’s how it is though, right?

২ 𓂅 ࣪ ೨ ; 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

@sahrii , @cherrysurf , @heartmaddie , @jpegarchives , @vertejay

@tiramizuloz , @gumims , @mybelovedvi , @chaotic-neutral-ig , @usbrous

@iheartamora , @iluv-ace , @xavlyzn , @reocidal , @mysticstrawberryballoon

@h0n3y-l3m0n05 , @aethersluvrr , @smiithys , @rriwyu , @twiishaa

@kissunday , @ilovejeansosomuch , @anqelkoz , @yiooobb37 , @renardiererin

@pookalicious-hq , @sunnyskiezzzz , @sharkissm @massacremars

#kawoala #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu!! suna x reader #haikyuu suna x reader #suna rintarou x reader #haikyuu suna rintarou #haikyuu!! suna #rintarou suna #haikyuu suna #suna x reader #suna rintarou #street racer au #street racing #street racer suna rintarou #driven by adrenaline

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do-androids-dream-ao3acc · 3 days ago

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If you're down for disaster fics, I'd love to see something where the team finds out Buck and Tommy are back together (it's been a secret ssshhhhh) after they get into a car accident together and they respond to the call. (Maybe Buck asked off for ~reasons~ and wouldn't tell anyone.)

Signed,

Actually V88SY

There’s this sound, a high-pitched whistling. Like shattered glass, its fragments rubbing against each other’s edges forever and ever. The sound shuts out everything else, even thoughts, though memories remain. This isn't the first time Buck has heard that tone, is it?

He’s twelve, almost 13, when he sneaks into the club through the backdoor; there’s a rock concert, and there’s a girl he knows will be there. Buck doesn’t have $40, he just has a crush, and there’s nobody at the backdoor. In the end, he stares at the bartender for a long time, fascinated by the guy’s long blonde hair and the clear kohl line around his green eyes. The girl he's interested in is somewhere in the crowd, and as Buck pushes his way through the dancing and jumping people, he ends up at the stage. He doesn't know the band, they're just a couple of loud musicians as far as that's concerned, but the bass booms through the speakers next to which he’s standing, and the strobe light burns into his retinas. It's exciting, at least until the next day, when there’s this high-pitched, loud whistling in his ears that just won't go away. He's tired from the long night, but using the noise as an excuse to miss school is a mistake. His mother drags him to the ear specialist, who diagnoses a hypersensitivity to high-pitched sounds, but that doesn't stop Buck from sitting in class by noon.

It sounds about the same now. Everything else is faded out, even... somehow, his body. He’s probably lying in bed, in that fleeting, foggy state just before falling asleep. Maybe he went to a concert? Maybe Buck decided, twenty years later, to make up for what he did as a teenager and actually pay for a band he likes. It’s just, he’s not a big music guy. Tommy is, though.

Why, of all people, Tommy is now creeping into his mind he doesn’t know, but why not? Why shouldn't he think of Tommy just before falling asleep, something he’s been doing for months anyway. About a week before the breakup, they talked about a concert, didn't they? Buck remembers smiling and nodding, watching Tommy enthusiastically talk about a band he had loved since he was a teenager, and who were actually playing a concert in L.A. A day later, Buck bought tickets without telling his boyfriend. Tommy never asked him to go to the event; he just assumed that Buck wouldn't be interested, and although Buck's secret was heavy on his tongue, it was easy to keep it because Tommy seemed to have forgotten about it. But that was months ago, and then they had broken up. Maybe, just maybe, Buck has gone to the concert alone, if only to remember what Tommy loved. He likes that thought. As it often does, one thought leads to another, and he remembers other times, other things. Places they’ve been together, people they met, things they’ve done. And things they would have liked to do, it all gets mixed up, a special cocktail. Ingredients: dreams and memories.

Buck is sleepy, warm and almost comfortable, if it weren't for that relentless whistling. He can't feel his body, which must mean that he has sunk deep into the mattress, his limbs heavy from a long shift. After the breakup, Buck spent so many days and nights lying in bed, watching Tommy’s traces vanish bit by bit. Then he thought of how the soft surface under Tommy's body had given way, sometimes leaving a hollow the next morning; a hollow with Tommy's outline that disappeared as the memory foam slowly returned to its original shape. Often he imagined they’d reconciled, realizing their split was the wrong move. In this scenario, Buck had fought for it, had demanded they’d talk, tear-streaked and desperate, but with vigor. And then, after more and mutual tears, long talks and confessions, they'd have pressed new hollows into the mattress, together.

Those fantasies never really stopped, they went on, he remembers every single one of them. Why now? He can’t say, but they’re sure distracting him from the sound in his ears. All these daydreams are as real as memories, and just as painless, which is the best part. There’s this one day when they make love on the beach, in a tiny, secluded cove that is rarely visited at this hour, or at any other hour for that matter. After that, they lie there, grains of sand on their skin and salt on their lips from the spray, when Buck’s phone disrupts this peacefulness. “An emergency,” he says regretfully after glancing at the display, “a large-scale operation, I think-” He doesn't get a chance to finish the sentence, as Tommy's phone starts buzzing, too. It’s the moment when they both realize that they don't want to destroy the magic. Not the magic of the moment; duty calls, that will always come first. No, the wonder of what they’ve recreated, this delicate plant that needs to be nurtured. Trust that must be earned, love that must be protected. It’s the moment when they decide to keep this new relationship secret.

Buck finds this decision not only logical, but proper. All of his friends, even his sister, advised him not to call Tommy, told him to take his mind off the matter, tried to persuade him to jump back into the pool after just a few weeks. This advice had always been welcome in the past, but now it aroused his mistrust. It was a small but constantly festering wound: no one recommended that he – a man in his 30s who had only just discovered his sexuality anew – talk things over with Tommy. Buck had never fought for many things in his life; he had accepted, given up, reoriented himself. He had always left, had made room, but this time he wanted to stay. The daydream feels so real, Buck seems to remember that they decided to keep their love a secret. That he went to work and acted as if he had spent his day off at home, “are you still brooding over Tommy?” someone asked, and he shook his head. A shake of the head can mean many things, not just refusal, and so it was not a lie, just as on many days and occasions later he never lied, he only bent the truth.

The dream memories come crashing down, raining down on him like broken glass, each shard carrying an image. Here’s Buck, gently smiling when his colleagues and friends ask him for his plans for the night; whatever story he’ll tell, truth is that he’ll rest his head in Tommy’s crook. There's Tommy, opening the door, his smile scrunching his nose as Buck crushes into his embrace. They're both in dozens of these memory shards, laughing and loving and learning, together. This should hurt, all the things that could have been, shouldn’t it? Yet, it doesn’t, it is a pleasant cocoon. Maybe a little tight, though. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, Buck wakes up and finds himself completely twisted in sweaty sheets, as if he had tossed and turned in his sleep. Maybe he isalready sleeping, and these are not the minutes before falling into the land of dreams, but the flash of his consciousness between two phases of sleep.

Another sound mixes with the high-pitched whistling, disrupting the beautiful memories and dreams, a siren. The sound of his life, somehow. There was probably an accident. Maybe they need AirOps, and Tommy is already hovering over it all, looking at the world from above as if he is untouched by what’s happening below. But he isn’t. Tommy, Buck knows this now, tried to protect his heart precisely because it is so sensitive. Somehow the thought hurts now after all, weighs on his chest as if it wants to crush him. It's getting uncomfortable, time to wake up and fix the sheets, or his life, because…

Buck opens his eyes, and he remembers. He remembers everything.

“You really have tickets?” Tommy asks in disbelief, although Buck is already waving them in front of his eyes.

“I've got tickets. Have had them for months, ever since you mentioned the band is playing in the stadium. It’s a bit intimidating, I’ve got to say, such a big-”

Tommy shuts his mouth with a fierce kiss. Then he pushes him gently at arm's length, scrutinizing his face.

“When I told you about it... shortly after that we broke up, Evan.”

“Yeah,” Buck says, smiling. The memory no longer hurts.

“Why didn't you sell the tickets?”

Buck looks at him, pondering, and then he decides, after a long breath, to simply tell the truth. That's one of the things they agreed on when they decided to try again. To do it right this time. And it’s easy now, easy with Tommy’s large and warm hands on his shoulders, grounding him. If he wanted to, he could let himself fall into these arms now, he’d be safe, and that's what matters.

“I believe I was thinking of one of those rom-coms you like so much,” he finally says, completely without irony, because it’s true. Tommy, this big beefy guy with hobbies like Muay Thai, is a sucker for tv romance. ��“I thought that if I kept these tickets, it would be a reminder of what you love, and that, somehow, connects us.”

He watches Tommy’s gaze become soft; eyes so blue as a mountain lake in summer, one of Buck’s fondest memories.

“I thought maybe I'd work up the courage to go alone,” he continues. “I don't even know the band, that's not the point. I would have recognized you in everything, that’s it. At some point, they’d play a sentimental love song, and I’d turn around to see you in the crowd. You’d see me too, your eyes would light up…”

“Do I look sad?” Tommy asks softly.

By now they’re intimately entwined, so close that a sheet of paper wouldn't fit between them. They look like they're dancing. A few hours later, they actually will be, because the band is playing a love song, but it’s not sentimental at all.

“A little,” says Buck. There's nothing embarrassing about the fantasy, it just shows that his thoughts have always revolved around Tommy, who immediately gets it and even plays along. “Like a man who regrets his decision upon seeing me.”

“Pretty smug,” Tommy replies with his lips on Buck's neck.

They leave a little late because fantasy and reality mix in the most pleasant way after this, but they still arrive on time. The concert is actually fun, it’s a captivating band, and Tommy is so happy. Perhaps Buck will never forget the moment when Tommy actually left him, his petrified face with this it’s for the best-look. But he also saw Tommy's eyes on the brink of tears, and that's what he clings to for weeks. The thought that Tommy didn’t want this, that he might regret it grows stronger every time people tell him to get over it. They have a lot of catching up to do when they get back together, half a year of ignorance that they both need to work out. But now they're happier than ever, because going through difficult times together brings people closer. Buck knows this; he just should have remembered it sooner.

A lot of time has passed since they broke up, but even the attentive Hen hasn't noticed when Buck stopped baking cakes and bread. Nobody, not even Maddie, would’ve been able to tell the exact moment when he stopped looking sad, when he started to laugh again, to live again. Another reason why he chose to not tell anybody, as if it were like the silly saying on the station’s coffee mugs, taken literally: bad mojo, if you don’t get enough of what you need. All firefighters are superstitious, to a certain extent, and maybe Buck just doesn’t want to jinx it. Not even Eddie knows, who has left a gap in Buck's life – a different kind of loss, and a different kind of pain. Eddie is happy, he’s content now, and it would have been easy to share this secret with his best friend, even more so with all the miles between them. A part of Buck that he's trying to leave behind now that he's happy with Tommy again, at least that part of him is resentful of Eddie. But… maybe, this loss upon losses was just the final straw, the last drop on a bucket full of sorrow. Just what he needed to feel anger again about life, choosing to not be fair to him once more. Only this time he used the anger constructively, not turning it against himself. He used it to understand that the world didn't revolve around him. It was the moment he realized that ultimately, everything had always turned out well for him, that there had always been someone to catch him; family and friends who were always there for him in one way or another. Tommy had never had that. It was only when understanding finally dawned that Buck began to see behind the façade.

They dance at the concert like lovers do, oblivious, as if there weren't this surging crowd around them. They hold each other's hands, and Buck watches Tommy's face fascinated as he sings along loudly to lyrics Buck doesn't recognize. Has he ever been so carefree? He’s different, now that they’re back together, and still the same. Still reliable, calm and endearing, but also more open, more… himself. It’s a side of Tommy that makes Buck’s heart ache with warmth. For the first time in his life, he realizes he can make people happy. He’s long since become more than the worthless spare parts he saw himself as for so many years. He’s a firefighter, a friend, a brother-in-law and a brother, and now he’s a lover again, and it’s beautiful. Buck is watching Tommy’s lips move without even hearing him sing, it’s just too loud, and he draws him close and seals those lips with his own.

The concert lasts almost three hours, the band plays overtime, encore after encore rushing over the ecstatic crowd. It’s almost midnight when they finally hit the road again, and Buck is so overstimulated by everything that he’s glad Tommy is driving. It's not easy to get out of the parking garage; thousands of people are moving towards their cars, and the line at the exit is long. Buck rolls down the window as they inch along the freeway behind all the concert-goers. L.A.’s air is rarely fresh, but today it is at least crisp enough to calm his overflowing thoughts a little. He can still feel the bass booming in his ears. Buck knows that the ringing in his ears will only get worse; it will probably plague him throughout the next day, and he will need an excuse if he can't hear well during his shift. But there’s this smile on Tommy’s face, even if his face is focused while driving, and Buck thinks that it was worth it.

The ride is slow, but that doesn't matter; Tommy has a CD with the band's latest album in the car, and thus the concert continues for a while. It’s a good time, almost surreal, as if time has stood still. At least until the moment when the traffic suddenly starts moving again. A cool breeze wafts around Buck’s heated face, and he feels larger than life, invincible. This night, the ride home might last forever, and he’d be fine with it.

Except it doesn’t, and he’s not.

The noise in his ears is getting louder, a whistling much shriller than the sound of the airflow from the window. But louder still is the bang that ends it all.

It does not end.

The world returns like the sound in Buck’s ears; all of a sudden, as if to say surprise, it's not over yet. The weight on his chest is not the result of gloomy thoughts, but of the seat belt cutting into his skin. This will leave marks, deep bruises in various shades of blue, and it will continue to hurt for days. Buck's arms are heavy, and he wonders why they're the first thing he sees when he opens his eyes, until he realizes that he reflexively extended them as if the firefighter part of him knew there was going to be an impact. His hands are pressed into the airbag, and a doctor will later remark that it’s a miracle he didn’t break both wrists. It certainly feels like it, but his hands are only, if heavily, bruised. He regards the impending swelling almost clinically, like any first responder who has to create a catalog of injuries in his head in order to assess the situation.

It’s very quiet, and that seems strange, somehow. Part of him clearly understands what has happened. You don't need to be a psychic to work out that there has been an accident, a multiple pile-up on the highway. Later, it will be known that one of the drivers who left the stadium was drunk. Intoxicated and impatient, because the traffic jams kept coming. In a few weeks, one of the people involved in the accident will sue the city and the stadium owners because what kind of security concept is it that allows thousands of people to try to leave a place at the same time, without anyone advising them to use the other exits, the other arterial roads? It’s unlikely that the accident could have been prevented, but the lawyers are making a good living out of it.

Right now, that moment is still a long way off. For now, Buck is alone with the whistling in his ear and the otherwise eerie silence, with his aching arms and hands, and…

Except he’s not alone, is he?

There's a cracking sound at the back of his neck as Buck turns his head far too quickly. His eyes widen as he realizes what seems inconceivable: the airbag on the driver's side hasn’t deployed. It seems like a cruel twist of fate, but Buck has given up on blaming destiny. It's a coincidence, a painful, stupid coincidence, that his airbag deployed and Tommy's didn't. Tommy's head was flung forward by the impact, onto the steering wheel, with nothing in between to soften the crash. Not that it would have helped much; now that Buck's almost clear-headed again, his hands are reporting a thousand pinpricks, as if his limbs had fallen asleep and were now struggling to come back to reality. They’re pinpricks now, he knows it will get so much worse in a couple of hours. He can hardly move them, but he has to. There’s a narrow but horrifyingly distinct trail of blood on the steering wheel.

Buck forces his fingers to move, sending instructions through his neural pathways with pure willpower. He’s surprised when his hands actually come off the airbag, and even more surprised that there’s still feeling in his fingertips, because when he puts them on Tommy's carotid artery, he feels a pulse. It’s steady, not too weak; relief washes over Buck, momentarily pushing all the pain into the background. His fingers glide gently across Tommy's cheek, “Tommy,” he urges, “open your eyes for me, will you?”

He can't lose him. Buck knows he won't, he just felt his pulse, the man will come around; such a thick skull, it will withstand a lot. But reality crashes over him like a wave, washes the hardest of all truths up on the beach of his thoughts: those who love have something to lose. There it is, the last missing link: admitting it to himself. He loves him, and he wants to hold on to this, to them. Really hold on to it this time.

Tommy stirs. Buck almost holds his breath, realizes it, and then coughs in shaky spurts. Tommy's shamelessly long eyelashes twitch. It seems to take an eternity, an eternity during which the world outside awakens – screams and sirens in the distance can be heard, and perhaps the hissing, ominous sound of fire. He blocks out all the rest, concentrating only on the here and now and the narrow, now even smaller space and on Tommy, who finally opens his eyes. His lips twitch in a vain attempt to form words, he blinks and raises his head very, very slowly. Analytically, but also with concern, part of Buck notes that Tommy's pupils are different sizes. He looks at him, and as his mind and mouth catch up, he says, “My airbag didn't deploy.”

“It didn't,” Buck confirms.

“Are you all right?”

“I'm fine.”

It's just a little exchange, and they both know it's not true; neither of them is doing well, but this kind of white lie is perfectly fine. They only have to look at each other to know that everything will be all right. Actually, this is one of those situations where they would normally both jump out of the car, ran out to see where help was needed. But now help is needed in here, now they will be there for each other. The sirens are getting louder, getting closer.

“It wasn't a dream,” Buck suddenly says, and Tommy's brows – one of them bloodied, the tear above it will require stitches – rise questioningly. “They were real memories, right? We’re… we are a thing. We’re together. We’re a couple.”

“Evan?”

Tommy suddenly looks worried, and Buck get’s it; he stammers and acts like a man with a concussion, even though Tommy is the one who hit his head on the steering wheel.

“Just tell me it's true,” Buck breathes. He needs to hear it now, before the last bit of adrenaline leaves his body and fear will creep through his veins. The shock will inevitably come if he lets the sounds of the accident, which can still be heard, get too close to him.

“Of course it's true,” Tommy replies, even though his usually charming smile is a little crooked with pain he can’t really hide anymore.

Buck heaves a sigh, “Great, because I'd be sorry if I confessed my love to a mirage.”

“You… what?”

“Oh, don't think it's just oxytocin that wants to distract my brain. This is real, you confirmed it, so I will confirm it too: I love you, Thomas Kinard, my first, my last, my everything.”

“You're quoting a song.”

“Is that all you have to say?”

They smile at each other, and Buck already knows. It’d be nice to hear it, but maybe he doesn’t really need to hear it. Maybe his life finally teaches him, who spent his life chasing love, that love doesn’t always express itself loudly.

“I don't want to say it now, not here,” replies Tommy. ”I even have a sore tongue, it’s not fair. I want to tell you when we’re both without pain, alone and…”

“But we are alone,” Buck interjects with a smile, but Tommy shakes his head.

“Not for much longer.”

Sure enough, when Buck focuses, he can tune out the whistling in his ears; there are squealing tires, orders being shouted, a fire hose being rolled out.

“Oh,” he says, ”Oh. There will be questions.”

“Maybe it's not the 118.”

“You don't believe that yourself.”

They’re arguing like an old couple, Buck realizes, a soft kind of bickering that warms his heart. They’re not old, but they are a couple.

“Maybe it’s time to tell them,” he says.

“You sure?”

It seems difficult, but Tommy manages to raise a hand and put it on Buck's. That must have hurt, but he did it anyway, and maybe that’s their new motto: to do it anyway.

“I’m sure.”

My heart is sure.

[AO3 version] Thank you so much for this prompt! It turned out a bit different than what you probably imagined, but I still hope you like it.

#writing #fanfiction #BuckTommy #BuckTommy fanfic #tommy kinard #evan buckley #911 fanfic #tevan #kinley #angst with a happy ending #whump

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