#its like almost 10 pm rn so like yeah
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Hi hi! Could i request a yandere mokou? If youre comfortable with it of course have a great day! :)
OF COURSE! ask and you shall recieve pooks! i'll try to keep the whole yandere thing not too extreme, if ur fine with it, since u didn't specify the type of yandere concept you needed (BUT THATS FINE!!!) (also im super sorry for replying like idk how many days later, probably two months)
[yandere mokou x gn!reader] (since gender wasn't specified) Normally, Mokou would just be alone, walking the seemingly endless bamboo forest, looking for anyone that had gotten lost. And she wasn't one to get close to people either, but something about you.. it drew her in. She wanted to just have you with her, never leaving her, to be lost in the bamboo forest, forever in her embrace, but she knew that she probably shouldn't be thinking like that. It was.. wicked. But lucky for her, and unlucky for you probably, you were lost in said forest, and she had found you just in time. Immediately, she asked if you were okay, if you had any injuries, and reluctantly helped you out the bamboo forest, waving at you as you left. As much as she wanted you all to herself, she needed you to trust her first. A plan was already forming in her mind anyways, a plan to have you all to herself, and it just needed a little more time and effort for her plan to play out. Eventually, as time passed, you both got closer due to her helping you in and out the bamboo forest, conversing with you as she led you out in different routes of the bamboo forest that you had to go to. And by the time you trusted her, she immediately turned on you, trapping you in the bamboo forest, with nobody else knowing where you are but her. "Oh, [NAME].. You don't get it, I'm only doing this to protect you. Do you know how many humans and youkai there are out there that might hurt you? I can't afford seeing you hurt." Mokou said, walking closer to you, caressing your cheek in a loving manner. "I promise, I won't hurt you, but just trust me. I won't let anyone lay a finger on you, or even look at you." She muttered, staring at you with a sweet but manic expression. "Don't you know I'm only doing this for you because I love you? I love you, [NAME]. So don't think of trying to leave me." Said Mokou, who had started embracing you, not caring if you were afraid or crying, or angry, even. As long as you, her beloved, were with her, away from everybody else who might be an obstacle to your 'relationship', then that's all that matters now, nothing more and nothing else.
#i loove touhou#touhou x reader#touhou project x reader#touhou#fujiwara no mokou#mokou x reader#x reader#please help#give more requests ill try to fill them out if im available thanks#im gonna go to sleep and fill out other requests tmrw or once im done with singing lessons thank you very much#its like almost 10 pm rn so like yeah
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rainbird
enha maknaes x fmr gnr fluff, est. relationship warnings cursing, food wc 711 + library #
‘ school life with the enha maknaes! headcanon style
kim sunoo
somehow u two manage to make the uniforms a tad cuter than anyone else
never getting ur work done in any class fs (but u still pass? its the dawg in u) u two sit in the back of the room and have a whole station just for cute instagram posts
"aww babe u look so pretty today" "really? i should say that to u, love :3" cue the deadpanning from anyone in a mile radius of u
LITERAL GODS OF PHYSICAL TOUCH AND EVERYONE HATES IT. on the way to lunch? holding hands. dodgeball in pe? holding on to each other like ur lives depend on it. the weather a little chilly? "let me warm u up schnookums :>"
half of ur friendgroup think of u two as an ideal couple while the other half is done w ur shit (dw they love u)
when exams are coming up, u two hang out at each others houses to help each other with whatever u guys are struggling with
he has full faith in u passing the exams but still offers to calm u down by singing a song, giving u a massage, ordering ur favourite takeout, or anything that eases ur nerves :(
"don't be scared, y/n. ure the smartest girl i know, so theres absolutely zero chances of u failing this test, believe me!"
yang jungwon
ur boyfriend being a former class president and u being the current class president is either a blessing or karma for something u did in ur past life
"oh my gosh there's so many papers to send off, wonnie can you help me?" "nope, i stopped doing this type of work 3 years ago" before getting up and carrying all the stacks himself
when u mess up during a speech, be prepared for endless teasing while being reassured that u still deserve a spot in the council (thank u for fake tears and ur bf's soft heart)
if u have to stay after school to work on council duties, jungwon stays behind w u and uses the excuse that he needs help on his hw to be by ur side
he still takes the chance to lovingly bully ur ass
"u know, if u just refused the offer of being class prez we could be in my room rn watching the mlb movie" "babe be quiet before i actually lose it and start crying"
however, the longer he's with u, the more concerned he gets when he realizes that u leave school (alone) around 7 pm when the sky is getting dark and all sorts of creeps are walking around
he knows ure capable of protecting urself but his 'spiderman' bf instincts tell him to walk u home everyday no matter how late it is and tune out the fact that he'll get spanked by his mama for returning so late at night
"u forgot something, love. i need 10 kisses minimum for walking u this late, uberjungwon needs his payment!"
nishimura riki
fully believing in the 'hates almost everyone at school but has a soft spot for u' + the rest of enha trope for u two
yes he acts nonchalant to anyone's attempts at flirting w him but the moment u compliment his skills in soccer bro startings twirling his hair and encourages u to say more
"ki u did so good! ure like blue lock fr" "really? i did so good guarding right? and making that goal? and dribbling? right?" yappa yappa yapping /j
during free period, he drags u to the court and has u play a 1v1 with him
uses the excuse of 'fixing ur form' to get as close to u as possible and hes not ashamed of it
"yeah so u just position ur arm right here and-" "ok but can u loosen ur grip on my hips please, focus on the training babe " "shhhh"
OMFG i imagine him asking u out after winning a really important game with enha cheering him on at the back (big bros)
it'll be when u congratulate the team outside of the locker rooms when he just grabs u by the shoulders and professes a whole shakespeare typa love confession
his fangirls drop down sobbing the next day when u two walk in holding hands and he's carrying ur bag for u with the dopiest smile on his face
@ wonyrs 2023
note me when i dissappear for a month after my first post, come back with the trashiest post ever and a new layout LESGOOO anyways i hope u guys enjoy this and REMEMBER my requests are open so feel free to ask anything :>
#wonyrs ✓#enhypen#enhypen x reader#kpop x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen maknae line x reader#enhypen maknae line#female reader#nishimura riki#enhypen niki x reader#yang jungwon#enhypen jungwon x reader#kim sunoo#enhypen sunoo x reader#enhypen fluff#enha x reader#enhypen reactions#love tropes#enha imagines#jungwon x reader#niki x reader#sunoo x reader#enhypen scenarios#enhypen x you#niki x you#jungwon x you#sunoo x you#enhypen established relationship
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holy fucking shit is it possible to get more self centered. holy shit.
stepmom called at like 22:30 the first time. didnt answer. clear sign to not fucking call again id say given most normal people are asleep by now. called again like ten minutes later and i thought well maybe its an emergency. surely shes not stupid enough to call twice in the evening around most peoples bedtime. <--- said by someone who was once called by her 7 times in half an hour and all they wanted was either a chat or they bought me a lamp at ikea idfr
nope. shes chatting away and shit asking where i am, whether i want to celebrate christmas with them, fully expecting me to let them help me when i move into an apartment.
first of all lmao wtf. im not asking them for fucking help moving my shit, if i did theyd go to sweden that exact day and be like "oh were in sweden right now but we can come by later :)" like they did when we asked them to maybe come help w the house. dad was tasked with contacting a lawyer for me once too, he promised hed do it he knew how horrible i had it and when we got to the meeting w my support team he told me he hadnt done it. 2 months i waited and he just hadnt bothered. btw i got really sick a few days later. fever, exhaustion, the whole thing.
and then shes like "it must be so nice to have your legal guardian and finally have someone who gets stuff done" yeah well dad was useless and mom was actively hindering me from talking to a lawyer and you and dad knew how bad it was but you didnt do shit to help so. thanks for that ig.
btw letting me stay for a week during christmas does not count. i really want to say im grateful but rn i dont feel grateful. im pissed. they knew how bad it was and did fucking nothing. i talked about how bad it was and they did nothing but try to talk down how bad it was, atleast dad. sure, stepmom defended me sometimes but having my dad say the shit he did and acting like it was no big deal living alone in a rotten cold house w two cats while i was severely depressed and utterly isolated and only helping if he felt like it. holy fucking shit. yeah dude atleast its getting taken care of i fuvking guess. being a parent doesnt stop when your kid turns 18 and if you marry a dude w kids you cant just. not talk to the kids if it doesnt suit you
and shes asking for all this info about where i am and so on and i just gotta lie. i dont wanna have to argue with a grown ass woman at nearly 11 pm and tell her i straight up dont want them to know cus theyve been utterly useless at all times except like. two times. dad fixed some electrics and i got to stay for christmas and thats it. ive been driven home after shopping sure but whose fucking fault is it i dont have a license? could unsupportive parents who offer to help but dont ever let me drive be part of the problem? could the lack of legal help and effort be a part of the problem?
and obvs im answering in single words and the occasional sentences cus im fucking annoyed and trying not to be rude but shes chatting away about shit she has no business knowing or getting involved in at almost 11 pm. so the call ends w her asking if im sad cus i "sound so sad" like no im not sad. tell her im not sad. she said something afterwards i dont remember but i did wind up saying that "well its kind of really late to call someone at 10:30 in the evening" and she starts. going on about how she just really missed me and missed talking to me and at this point internally im just fuming. she called that late at night just to chat? is she fucking stupid?
like its not bad enough the only times i ever get called is when theyre bored in the car and need entertainment so i have to sit there listening to my own voice echo out of their handsfree while the mic is garbling their voices so bad i can barely tell wtf theyre saying over the sound of traffic. and now shes calling in the middle of the night tol cus her emotional need is too important to let people sleep
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9-4-24
The last 4 days were wild, but I had such an amazing experience 10/10.
I’m glad I decided to say yes to this trip because it was unforgettable. The memories made and the experiences shared was just peak enjoyment.
I had missed the last 5 years of kazzy’s birthday weekend celebrations, so, I decided to go friday saturday since I was able to now. Ngl I was debating if I should’ve just went saturday since I didn’t really know everyone, and I would be spending two whole nights with them. But i’m glad I went. I told myself for the plot and the plot was THICK.
It was funny bc May called and said where tf are u rn as I was otw. While I was driving, I got the notification that there would be a HOUSE ROLL at 11:30 lol. I thought it was gonna be a night of drinking but nope. I said fk it anyways and rolled with them. When I pulled up, we went straight to drinking, and I caught up with friends I hadn’t seen in years. Everyone was all grown up lol. No more undergrad. Someone even bought a house recently. Then, the rolling began. Half of us popped, and there was a whole live dj schedule for most of the night. It was lit. Everyone was just vibing to the set having a good time while I chatted away with people and danced, real plur environment.
After the set, we played rage cage all night, and people started to go to sleep. I ended up staying up till almost 6, and we played some throwbacks. I did some drunkish karaoke for a few songs too. Couldn’t hang till sunrise, so I hit the hay. Heidi kept restarting rage cage. It didn’t stop.
The next morning, I slept in like a mf. I was a lil sleep deprived and went through 2 days of 8 hour live lecture trainings prior to coming. So, I made sure I was well rested. Surprisingly, no comedown or headache, but I woke up at 2 pm. After getting ready, I went straight to the kitchen to start cooking up breakfast, good ole bacon and eggs. Rene was making everyone drink though.. so my first meal was basically alcohol.
After I ate and drank some more, everyone came back from a pickleball tournament. We took group pictures, and I put on my duck themed fit. Shortly afterwards, we did a roll call for shrooms. It was interesting seeing everyone take the ones I supplied. Afterwards, we all dispersed, and it didn’t hit for a while, so I decided to use the restroom before the mayhem began. However, I ended up talking to Nicole for a bit, and during that convo, it hit LOL. Kazzy came in and asked if we were feeling it. We both said yeah, and I started laughing bc I was trying to act sober the whole time.
I decided to go out and sit by the pool with a couple other people in order to settle for the come up. There was a big palm tree in front of us, and I saw its leaves begin to sway. The weather was perfect, and looking at it felt so surreal. Looking into the distance, I noticed two moving objects. I thought I was trippin, but they were rabbits LOL. After a few min, I started to feel a bit overwhelmed and couldn’t sit still. So, I walked over to the edge of the pool. Randy was already in and suggested I jump in since I told him I wanted to see what it would be like to swim while tripping.
I was a bit unsure how it would feel considering I was still coming up but said fk it. First time for everything, right? Took off my shirt and cannon balled in. I’ll never forget that rush of water surrounding me as I went under. Emerging felt revitalizing, and then the cold temperature hit.
Randy asked how it felt to be tripping in a pool… I said it feels like i’m in a pool LMAO but it feels GREAT. The water was still cold after a few min, so I decided to swim across the pool. On the other side, there was a waterfall created by an overhanging beam. I felt myself gravitating towards it, and the sound of the water splashing into the pool seemed to drown the rest of the noise in the background. It seemed like everything else around me just faded out, and it was just myself and the waterfall in front of me.
I don’t know why, but it felt so spiritual to me. Everything drowned out including my own thoughts and anxiety from it all. It was just me and this enchanting water splashing into the surface of the pool. I saw something beautiful that was uniquely experienced to myself. I stood there for a minute appreciating the intense calmness it brought to me, and at one point, I started stretching my arms open to it. Finally, I turned around and looked at everyone else. It felt so freeing standing there and accepting everything in front of me. I was struck with beauty.
Eventually, I swam back, and the water became warm. Then, I went over to the jacuzzi which was nicee. I met this pretty girl named Aiko. Her fit was so cute. I complimented her on it later on. Then, Allen came out and pushed Kazzy into the pool. I ran over to make sure he was good since he was also tripping. Rene brought soju lol. I took some more shots, and bounced around just socializing. I was also tripping, so it was a lil hard to stay focused on the convos for too long. At one point, I picked up a bubble gun and started blasting it. It was amazing. In fact, I bought one for Zedd this week. Everyone seemed to love it including me. Being surrounded by bubbles while tripping is like being inside of fiction just watching them float around like magic. For the next hour, I kept floating around and enjoying the most beautiful sunset. The sky turned orange, and I was basking in the sunlight. I wanted that moment to last forever. That’s when I realized that this is what life is all about, to appreciate the beauty in life and share those moments with friends who truly care about you. That’s what I felt in that hour of light, and it reshaped everything for me, why we strive so hard, why we willingly take on stress, and why we make sacrifices. It’s not to push ourselves to the blink of oblivion and destitution. There’s no joy in losing that glimmer of life in your eyes. Everything is to KEEP that glimmer alive no matter what. Stress shouldn’t be controlling us, beating us down until we give up. We OVERCOME stress and utilize it in order to get to where we WANT. And when the stress is no longer fulfilling our purpose, we must walk away. That’s how we choose our battles and claim our victories. There’s no victory in battle lacking in altruism and self.
I’ll never forget that experience. It felt like the first time I opened my eyes and basked in literal happiness and beauty. I am grateful for everything.
After the sun went down, most of the people went in, and the party was going. There was a live dj, and everyone who didn’t trip had been drinking all day. It was overwhelming for me to jump into that when I had been so relaxed before. So, I stayed in the jacuzzi with a few other people. I got to know Brandon a little better, and he was such a great guy. 28 but with a 7 year old daughter and handling a full time job while hanging out with everyone. Love it. Stand up guy and I respect him for being a good father. Afterwards, I got cleaned up and went back out to chat a little with a few people. Mom called and asked what I was still doing out since I had WORK the next morning. I said i’d sleep there and go straight to work. That’s exactly what I did. When I went back inside, everyone was already drinking, playing rage cage, and dancing to loud ass music. I wasn’t really ready for that yet, and I missed dinner. Out of nowhere, I saw Brandon making ramen and hopped in right away. I started cooking up bacon and eggs. Brandon made sausages, and we put together some scrappy meals I was honestly so proud of. He was too, and it was bomb. While we were doing that, Kazzy took 10 shots back to back for his yearly birthday challenge, and everyone recorded.
At this point it was around 8:30 pm, and I knew I had to prepare myself for another rally if I wanted to keep partying. The problem was I had to leave at 4 am and go straight to work. I was staying up after for another 12 hour shift back to back days. I didn’t think I would’ve been able to survive another rally without taking addy and a bunch of caffeine the next day. So, I decided to take a nap. I was scared I wouldn’t wake up or make it back in time, and to combat that, I kept setting alarms for 30 minutes. Eventually, I just slept until 4 am because the sleep was good. Also, I didn’t want to be too inebriated and have trouble leaving by 4 am for work. It worked out pretty well because I handled the next two days pretty well. However, I did miss out on the second rally. In retrospect, I could’ve stayed up another 2 hours during peak time, but knowing me, there’s a chance I could’ve slept through my alarms if I was too sleepy. Didn’t wanna take the risk.
I really miss everyone, although, I only knew a lot of them for a short while. It was just the acceptance and fondness we had for each other in such an emotional space that I ended up appreciating everyone for vibing with one another. It was so wholesome and not at the same time. I will definitely be back for the next one. Newfound friends!
Yesterday, at work, I received my first ICU level patient that I had to stabilize. I was doing everything critical care. I was messing with central lines, bolusing bags of saline, doing septic bundles, and hanging levophed. It was real nursing. I’m glad I had that experience because I learned a lot on how to care for critical patients in the medical field. The only thing I gotta practice now is ACLS and mastering rhythms.
Overall, this was genuinely an amazing week. Despite the fact that I had 4 days of work in between the 1.5 days at Kazzchella, I feel I truly made the best out of every second of it. I ended it with unforgettable memories, new friends, wiser reflections, and fulfillment of my immediate responsibilities. I’m proud of myself!
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i like a girl lol
Sooooooooooooo ummm the title of this rant? would be "i like a girl" lmaooo Soooooo yeah theres a girl i kinda like?? its nothing serious tho but yeah i like her ig, she's not really my type tho but idk . She treats me so well i cant help it. i feel things lol. I keep checking my phone every second of the day (just did again) and it sucksssss. She kinda likes me back? atleast thats what she says . but idk i dont think so. The possibility is too narrow but yeah.
She has a boyfriend lol and its not like i care tbh cause its not like i wanna make her cheat on him something i mean she wouldnt and i wouldnt want her to. Also i know this isjust a phase for her and itll go away soon. for her or for me. Yk know i cant like someone for long especially if i dont see a possibilty of us dating. so yeah im gonna go with the flow rn. She told me that she had a crush on me since months tho but again ahh i dont think so. maybe shes overthinking . maybe she just wants to be my friend.
anywayyy soo im just going with the flow. we flirt a lot. we blush a lot. Thta bitch flirts with othets and makes me jealous lmao dumb fuck and i do the same bwahaah. sooooo yeahhhh i know after whatever this thing is ends im gonna be sad af for 2 weeks i think? cause we talk so much and its gonna be lonely. but again im a pro at moving on soooooooooo
7/10/23 (1:51am)
(im gonna keep adding the rants)
and the best thing about this is that i'm very well prepared for the heartbreak so im sure it wont hurt much lol im actually very sure about that. I always expect the worst in these things so its going to be chill. I'm sure shell come out of this phase soon and it will only be a memory for both of us. mostly in a good away tho. I'm not gonna take this too seriously and just have fun. you're flirting? okay ill flirt back. you're treating me well? ill do the same yeah thats it lol
i have a strong gut feeling that this is gonna end soon like 3-4 days? i dont know. lets see
7/10/23 (18:25)
Oh wow soooo it almost ended that day lollll but then yeah we kinda talked it out? Anyways i feel like something changed after that. I think in a good way? The obsession feelings decreased and maybe the good friendship feelings increased? I honestly have no idea and i should probably stop trying to figure it out lol. Anyway now I'm back and i think she doesn't like me anymore. Maybe I'm just over thinking? But lol nvm let's see how it goes
11/10/23 (2:05am)
Lmao bitch read this post. anyways im gonna act like no one knows about this account. Its soooooo scary i know i've told this before but its just really scary. See i have trust in myself that if IF something goes wrong ill move on fast, OKAY WHY AM I OVERTHINKING AGAIN. lets fuck this. SHES SO CUTE IM SO OBSESSED I HATE HER SO MUCH. ITS SO MUCH FUN TALKING TO HER. even though sometimes i really wanna push her off a cliff but its okay. I wanna write so much but im blank again wtf
14/10/23 (01:48am)
Why do i feel like she hates me now. Maybe she'll finally lose feelings. i mean yeah thats okay and understandable but it'll be too sudden so idk. I'm ready for anything at this point . I wanna text her but i guess ill give her space. I'll just distract myself and sleep. She has nooooooo idea about the amount of over thinking im doing rn. im so sure shes done with me and will never see my face again. lemme prepare myself. Thankfully im veryyy tired so ill fall asleep easily.
14/10/23 (9:22 pm)
i randomly have such sudden outbursts of love for this baby. i want to cup her face and kiss her whole face , i want to hug her to my chest and kiss her head and baby the fuck out of her. She's gonna cringe reading this (please dont). I want to like put our foreheads together and close my eyes and feel it yk??? i sound soooooo weird. Please dont be creeped out
15/10/23 (10;02pm)
I like her so much like so so so so so so much. Its very scary and i know for a fact that i will be hurt later but ugh its sooooo worth it. I'm sooooo happy with her. The feelings keep growing and i dont think im gonna let it stop. its okay ill let it grow. yoloooo sooo ahhhhh. We just had a pubg date sksksksk shes soooooooo ahhhhh. She flirts so confidently , i was panicking behind the pubg call sksknjiuck. anywaysssss ugh I want to kiss her sooooooooooooooooo bad like fuckkkkkkkkkk i wanttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!.
20/10/23 (01:13am)
Hiii so idk bro she says she's more obsessed with me but obviously i disagree. I think i really fell harder lol I mean it's scary af but anyways. Idk she can go for hoursssss without talking to me and be fine and me ? Lolllllll I try to text back whenever I can but she doesn't do that. Maybe I'm asking too much. Okay i should chill out fr. I don't wanna depend on anyone lol. I only want fun stuff here even though i know I'm kinda in deep but anyways it'll be okay. I know she's putting a lot of effort i shouldn't complain. I'm getting more than i deserve anyway. And I AM happy af. I just miss her i guess. I sound sooooo stupid. Ugh I hope she doesn't read this
21/10/23 (17:12)
(23/10/23) 1:40am
She didn't text me back today. But I'm gonna be understanding. I don't want to overthink. Not today . There are so many possibilities and i wanna listen to her . I really want to be understanding. Because i genuinely care . I didn't text her back till 2pm due to some valid reasons tho but anyway I feel calm now. I texted in our gc and she seen zoned but maybe she has her reasons . Let's see . I don't want to think about anything. I really hope she's alright .
It's like i want her to text me about her day and all but then I don't want to expect much i don't want her to do zyada also idk she's already treating me nicely and it makes me happy. Its honestly more than enough and I don't want to be greedy.
23/10/23 (19:12)
okay sooo ummm the reality is hitting me these days. I was okay being the side chick but its really hitting me lol. Its not like she makes me feel that way nahhh she shows that she cares. Its just that idk maybe im only stupid. she flirts with others and sends me screenshots and everytime she does that i lose little feelings. Even though she does that for fun idk. If she keeps doing this, i might actually lose feelings lol idk how to tell her that. I dont wanna bicker or anything i dont have the strenght and anyway she'll be like nooo i do it for fun only because im cool. **heavy sigh** nvm . but should i let her know? communication is good yk. i guess ill try tonight. if she doesnt fall asleep. Okay ill tell her that, rest is her wish lol .
oh yeah btw todays our 1 month anniversary???? ehehehehe
okay she fell asleep, shes really sick so i hope she feels better soon.
but anyway i keep feeling stupid lmaoooooo i need to stop feeling this way and accept it. Thats the only way lol
21:23 (30/10/23)
Wah its been long, soooo umm idk we kinda had a disagreement? i honestly dont know what that was but yeah im 1000% sure that it wasnt my fault. i took my time to write and explain everything but nah i guess shes mad at me? ofcourse she is. we didnt talk the whole day and its kinda driving me crazy but im trying to look normal. I wont text her first , not because i have ego or anything but because im not at fault here. She took things a little too far and i got triggered. But again i did explain her everything like why it triggered me and all because i didnt want any misunderstanding. But yeah shes mad at me for that? i honestly dont know what to do. is this the end of us? i dont want it to end like this. I'm not ready but i also wont text first. She needs to own up to her mistakes. I miss her. I miss her so much . please text me ughh .
its okay i guess. this is like a break for us i think i dont know how this will end up
22:56(7/11/23)
lmao i got on with a lot of thoughts in my head but as usual im black again. sooo i cant stop thinking about her and its scaring the shit out of me. Atp im pushing myself to go out with friends and family just to divert myself from thinking about her lmaooo yeah its that bad. The worst part is even k-pop idols are not helping me this time. Its always her on my mind. But ill try my best to distract myself because i feel very one sided. Its prolly not but kinda is . idk. But i'm also behaving the same way with her ig? i talk about idols and behave like they're the only ones on my mind when its absolutely false. I'm sure its not the same for her tho. she really isnt that whipped for me lol. and thats okay. ill keep trying to calm myself down . BUTTT the more i try the more i think. What do i do?
05:36am (17/11/2023)
we had a talk yesterday and it hit a nerve, It hit a wrong spot and now idk what i feel anymore. It was hurting. My heart felt like it would explode. I felt too much that i dont feel it now. No i'm not over her. It'll take time for sure but something snapped for sure. I'm taking a break today, from her. I need to analyze my feelings and emotions and think. I need to be ready for whatever is about to come. and i will be, Im strong and i can do it.
I never spoke about this or wrote it here but i think i should now. I need to analyze my feelings and write it out. I like her. i like her a lot. It was all happy happy at first, just us flirting. It wasnt that serious. But it did get serious later. A lot of feelings got involved. I know i know that she has a boyfriend and that i am a second option. I know its genuine and she really likes me. But i sometimes i wish the other way around. Everytime she mentions her boyfriend, its like a stab in my heart and reality hits me. I get distant for a bit. idk if she notices. its not her fault tho, I cant talk to people about this because i know what they're gonna say. "its all your fault, you knew she was taken but you still chased her. its all on you. you"re stupid for even hoping or wanting something from a straight taken woman" oh dont even get me started on how much it hurts when she tells me shes straight. Its gives me mixed signals. she says she wants to kiss me, hold me and do things with me and then she says shes straight. see i know sexuality is not an easy thing, it takes a lot of time and courage and thinking to come to a conclusion and tbh its okay even if she doesnt, but i cant stop my feelings and my overthinking. what if she doesnt really like me and its really just a phase shes going through. because im confident about the way i feel. i like women, i like her, romantically , emotionally and sexually.
i want her. i want her so bad even if its for a month, i want to experience how it feels like to be in a real relationship with her but i know its impossible. Like that equation doesnt even exist.
yesterday night, when she told me she loved me. i couldnt say it back. I didnt have enough energy to feel things because my heart was already hurting. Thats why im taking a break from her today, Her calling me baby , princess and whatever cute things she does , its making me feel guilty. She shouldnt do those things for me, but i want it . i dont know what im typing honeslty. i just want her so bad but i know i shouldnt. i NEED to tone down now . from my side, ill take the love shes giving me, also reciprocate. but not more than that because even i feel guilty and shes going through things because of me, she says its worth it but is it? i know that one day both of us will move on from this. I'm pretty sure we're gonna think about this and laugh but right now i want her, But i also dont , But i do. lol.
14:04 (21/11/23)
Hi, lol. I feel so much for her. like so so so so much. what we have is so precious and important to me. i dont want to let her go. As a girlfriend, yeah i guess one day we'll have to part, but as a friend? i dont want to lose her. I may sound greedy but along with her girlfriend(idk what we are but lets pretend im her girlfriend) right now, i also want to be her second best friend. Is it too much to ask ? i mean i guess it is. It hasnt been that long but our emotional bond is too strong and idk if ill ever find it anywhere else. Even if i dooo ugh idk i just want her for a long time. Even after we break up and take our time off, i want her to talk to me. This may sound selfish but yeah. I still want her to come nag to me, complain about things and share her problems, emotions etc. Relationship issues, marital issues, friendship issues, work related issues, family issues, financial issue etc like literally anyyything. I want her to feel comfy with me, I will never force her tho. I just hope things turn out this way instead of us completely falling apart. Because if it breaks , im sure itll take more than 2 years for me to open up tp anyone again. After my last ex best friend , i really shut myself off and it was lonely. I do have friends and i know they are always there for me but i cant open up to them. emotionally. But with her i can. So i want her , need her for a long time. We may drift . life is unpredictable and people change so its okay but i hope both of us try our best. I know she said she ignores and ghosts her close friends when she feels something is off and then they drift apart but i want her to really try for us. Idk if it will be worth it for her but i want her to try because i know i will. unless she wants otherwise. lol why am i having such emotions today? this is the first time im feeling this way. with us i mean. okay ill stop now.
26/11/23 22:30
I think I'm in love lol idk I tried so much to not be 'in' love and to just love her but I think I failed at it. I'm even scared to admit it to myself because I'm a coward. I still don't want to admit it to myself. I love her so much . I feel so stupid for loving someone who loves someone else. I was never like this. What is wrong with me? Idk but can it be helped? No. I know I'll move on in the future and everything will fall into place but right now ugh i love her and I feel stupid af. Like really really stupid. I'm never telling this to anyone tho. They'll make fun of me lol. They won't understand. I myself don't understand anything. I'm giving away so much of myself and it's going to take a lot of time for me to get it back like after we break up. Anyways I hope she gets well soon. She must be in a lot of pain. It hurts to even think that she might be in pain ughhhh stupid**inserts my name* get it together.
Come back soon . I feel like a zombie without you
Lol I just looked at my instgram activity and was wondering why I had spent 4 hours on Instagram yesterday when we didn't even talk. Then I realised that we did. It has only been a day but it feels like weeks? Wtf? What is going on with me. I'm scared I'm so so scared.
28/11/23 (23:43)
Happy 2 months to us lol sksksk anyways I didn't miss her yesterday. Probably because I was dealing with my own shit . Doesn't mean I like her any less. I still care . I hope she feels better soon
30/11/23 (00:19)
I googled the recovery rate and the death rate of dengue and I'm more paranoid now. Maybe I'm crying too much because I'm sick . I cry a lot when I fever like it heightens whatever I feel and now I'm worried about everything. Myself , her ahhh.
This is way too scary. New fear unlocked. I don't wanna say it but ugh just the thought of your loved one not being there hurts lol. I think I'll never move on from it. Never. So dear universe or whoever is listening to me , you've been mean to me these days , there are only 2 things that I want the most right now. The most. And I'll do anything for it. 1. Her getting well soon. 2. I need freedom from my life . Which means moving away to another country. I need these so bad. I don't care if I don't die anymore. I know I've always wanted to die and that was the only prayer in my head but now no. I want these 2 . Please please please. I won't be able to take it please ahh I'm crying again. I'm never getting attached to anyone again.
It's December already, please please please I promise that if these two things happen, I WILL NEVER NEVER EVER think about killing myself again. I promise this. I really really really promise you. But , if not , then that's it. You know I've always wanted to die , ever since 2011, so I'm giving up on this if I get the things I want. Atleast the 1st one. I won't be able to live at all.
Why am I crying so much. It's too much to handle. I feel like the nerves in my head will tear open with the strain. Its been long since I cried so much . I know I'm over thinking but why can't I fucking stop. STOP. Okay I'll just sleep .
1/12/23 (00:05)
I didnt miss her at all these last 3 days but i think i miss her a little today. I suddenly think about her and feel like crying. This is not because i miss her but idk. I feel like every bad thing happened to me at once and my mental health is at stake. 1. her being extremely sick with that deadly virus? whatever it is. 2. My uni thing. 3 me falling sick as well. i cant control my emotions when im sick. especiallllyyyy fever. i feel so weak and that stupid fever aftertaste on my tongue is making me wanna puke. i think im sleeping a lot these days. like 16 hours a day or something, maybe physcial and mental exhaustion is catching up to me. fuck this life . anygays idk i hope something good happens please. i wanna cry again lol. crying feels nice all of a sudden . its all because im sick lol. i guess ugh idk fuck this
i slept on the couch yesterday night, i think ill do the same tonight lol. i always sleep on the couch when im sick i guess??? ah im sleepy again. prolly med effect. ill eat and sleep now. i hope my baby feels almost better tomorrow. wow im sleepy af all of a sudden . no energy i think ill fall off byee
01/11/23 (20:16)
Lol i haven't written in so long ahhh yeah idk it's going okay I guess. We were having a call on gmeet with another friend of mine and she spoke about her boyfriend today. Idk what happened to me and why it happened but I cried wtf? Like wtf?????? Idk what to do anymore. It's reality I know but it's hurting. I know I'm just a ummm what am I again? No one omg fuck this
03:20 (18/11/23)
i love you
22:36(uk time zone) 11/02/24
Ah i need you so bad but i yeah i should be understanding. I’ll be. But know that i need you so bad like emotionally but im not brave enough to text you .
15/02/24 1:14pm
I love you . It feels sad now . When i think about her, my brain makes me sad lol. Whenever i imagine fake scenarios with her my brain keeps constantly reminding me that im just delulu and nothing will ever happen. I already know that but lemme be happy? i keep thinking about the break up that will happen soon when she gets engaged. I know there’s time, there’s a lot of time but i can’t stop thinking about it. It’s like it’s always there at the back of my mind. I just wanna be delulu , carefree and happy. I don’t wanna think much okay bye
29/02/24(2:30am)
I hope you dont see this but I’m so sorry. There are so many thoughts running in my head rn. I feel like im ruining something perfect. i mean you and him. I know nothing will change , yall are the end game and i dont want that to change. But the guilt is hittinf me these days. Am i that bad? Am i that selfish? What am i supposed to do? Shouldi stop? I dont want to stop but i dont want to be so selfish. Am i really a homewrecker? fuck
(12:06)
(PLEASE DONT READ THIS IM BEGGING YOU)
Ouch. That stung. Very bad. Ahh i can feel my heart breaking into pieces and im having a breakdown. I feel so so so helpless. I really can't do anything about this. I have no way out now do i? Please universe please please help me please.
I'll do anything. Hold me from breaking apart every time. I should be used to this by now?
Right? It's been so long. It should be normal. But as the days go by i can't take it. I'm breaking so bad. This is why i hate love so much. Only pain and hurt. But do you think i can let go? No. The most dumb and stupid award should be given to me. I hate everything
6:46 (19/8/24)
I want a day where it doesn't hurt me anymore.
But i guess that day will be the day im not in love anymore and I've completely lost feelings. I dont want that.
7:06
I love myself too much. I want to be happy. I will be happy. Me me me me and only me.
Every time i close my eyes her Instagram story flashes ahhh i want amnesia. I want to hid my head somewhere and lose all my 24 years memories. It hurts THAT much. Or maybe I'm over reacting too much. Its prolly the latter lol ok.
But i know its something she can't help too so lol both of us are helpless. Im just opening up here and she's not. Now i need to give my brain some rest. I'll be offline the whole day to heal
7:47
Why do you keep hurting me so much. Why do you always sabotage us for everything. Every minor inconvenience you get you let it affect us. Bro even on our one year anniversary? Is it not special to you? I’m so hurt but I’m even scared to tell you that. I think I’m starting to suffocate
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gonna try this again!
but this time cause i have no other drug options. i’m almost out of opioids (i have a few oxy but not enough for it to hit well and enough fent left but i wanna save it for a special occasion), got rly bored of benzos (plus gotta wake up at fucking 4:30 tmr and its already 10 pm rn), and i cant use the loads of shrooms i have cause im doing it this week with my bf so i gotta have fresh clean receptors. and im all fucking out of ketamine, my baby… getting more probably this week. what else? i’ve sold all amphetamines i had but even if i hadn’t i wouldn’t wanna do them. if i had morphine (or fucking pethidine, which i like more) i’d do that but i don’t, so, eh. i do have tramadol but i mean…
so, yeah, i’m glad i didn’t delete this post so i can check the dose i used before lol
i’m gonna try getting high on pregabalin tonight. i literally have other drug options but i just wanna test this out lol
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Baby (Bakugou x Reader)
Pairing: Bakugou x Reader
Anon requested: “Hiii!! I jus wanna say ur writing is one of the best I've read so far (and I've read a lot). It's been a while since I've read a oneshot that made me feel tingles (u know why I mean right, it's hard to explain 😅) anyway jus wanna say I love ur writing!! Also, if u don't mind I'd like to request a fluff with bakugou where he gets his wisdom teeth removed and he just becomes the softest thing everrrrr! :) if ur not taking requests rn I dont mind if u skip this one. Adios ;)"
Thanks for the kind words and the request anon! I hope you like it~
Genre: Floof. Pure, plotless floof
Word count: 973
Tags: @yuki-osaki @liviitehe @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog @bunnythepipsqueak
a/n: Today was tiring as hell. I got up at 7:30 to study for my exam at 1 pm and I had a 2 hour lecture to go over after that. I feel like I was studying for a good 10 hours today alone and I was already tired this entire week. And it's only Wednesday... Which is why I couldn't wait to write this! I was in dire need of some plain, quick, simple, plotless floof, so I’m happy I had this request to fill next. I hope you guys out there are in a good mental state as the semester is wrapping up, and if not I hope this cheered you up a bit!
Also (I’m a few days late but still) Ramadan Mubarak to my muslim readers/followers! I wish you an easy fast, willpower, and spirituality in the following month. You got this! I’ll also try to include NSFR warnings if anyone wants? I know swearing and spicy stuff aren’t allowed, but I’m not 100% sure about the fluffy stuff so let me know!
"This way, Katsuki, let's go." I gently pull my boyfriend down the street, capturing his arm in mine to balance his wobbly gait.
He mumbles something incoherent and leans into me. "We going home now?"
"Yup, I already picked up your medication. Are you keeping that ice pack on your face?"
"Yeeees," he groans. Katsuki usually hates it when I mother him, but today he really needed it. Poor guy was scared of having his wisdom teeth removed and didn't trust anyone else to accompany him. It's kind of endearing, especially since he's become such a giant, clumsy mess now. "You're becoming my mom."
"Well, you are acting like a lost child right now, who else is gonna take care of you?" I squeeze his hand reassuringly.
He hums in response before leaning onto me, "I guess I'm really lucky then." Removing the ice pack, he pokes his cheek. "Can you kiss it better?"
I blink, completely floored by his request. I know the anesthesia has its effects on people, but it seems it makes Katsuki way more soft and needy than usual.
Not that I'm complaining.
I stand on my toes and peck his cold cheek. "Is it better now?"
"Mmm, I'll probably need another dose in an hour," he encircles both of his arms around one of mine, "I'll let you know how the pain is."
Gosh, he's just gonna be adorable for the rest of the day, isn't he? "Should I drop you home or do you want to rest at my place?"
Katsuki's arms crawl over to envelop my torso from behind. "Your place, of course," he half giggles, his breath tickling my ear.
I chuckle at his behavior, directing us towards the nearest station. I'm definitely gonna enjoy this. A small part of me almost wants to record him, but I'd rather just enjoy these few moments I have of him acting this way. I'm too nice to embarrass him like that.
Since it's the middle of the day during the week, the station and the train seats are mostly empty. Katsuki gets comfortable, sprawling his legs across the cold bench and resting his head on my lap. He keeps one of his hands messily entwined with mine and lets me use my free hand to play with his hair. I gaze down at him, smiling to myself. Katsuki being soft and lovable like this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Of course I know he loves me already, but to see him without the whole harsh persona is definitely something else. The blooming warmth stirs me to press a soft kiss on his forehead. My little Katsu.
He opens his eyes to stare up at me, asking out of the blue, "Do I look or sound weird?"
The childish innocence he asks the question with makes me chuckle. "Not at all, babe."
His crimson orbs continue boring into mine for a moment, just holding my attention, before he reaches up and brings my head down to kiss his lips. The motion takes me by surprise since he's not the type to take PDA this far in public. The heat rushes to my cheeks, and I'm eternally grateful that this car is almost empty, and the few people here with us are busy fiddling with their phones.
"You missed, dummy," Katsuki beams before closing his eyes again.
My heart thumps. He's so adorable sometimes. His toothy smile was just the right amount of cute and loving, the rarest smile I've seen only once before. I want to melt into a puddle and pinch his cheeks
You big dork. I continue threading my fingers into his hair, the rattling of the train relaxing the tired boy.
.
Once we arrive at my apartment, Katsuki shrugs out of his jacket and shoes and situates himself under my kotatsu, not even bothering to turn it on; he just grabbed one of the long cushions, stuck it under his body, and knocked himself onto his side. As I'm still removing my outer clothes, he reaches one arm out and makes grabbing motions. "Babe, come lay with me," he practically whines out.
Is he pouting? I want to laugh at his needy behavior, but I'll admit I want to cuddle with him too. After the procedure he's been through and the pain he's going to experience in the next few days, he deserves all the hugs he wants. Who am I to deny him? I plug the wire in and turn the switch on before lifting the blanket up and squirming underneath. Without wasting any time, Katsuki pulls my body flush into his chest, wiggling both of us farther underneath.
The needy boy lets out a satisfied sigh as the blanket starts heating up. His head pulls back to look down at me, hooded scarlet eyes trying not to close as they brim with affection. "You're my favorite." His thumb at my cheek softly rubs at my skin.
I close my eyes and nuzzle his hand. "Your favorite what?"
"Anything and everything." He plants a kiss on top of my head. "You're just my favorite thing."
Despite the fresh wave of warm tingles humming through me, I tease him, "So I'm a thing now?"
Instead of groaning like he would under normal circumstances, he crushes me closer to his body. "Yeah, you're my teddy bear now, and you're not going anywhere for the rest of the day."
"But what if it gets really hot under here, Katsu?"
"Nope, you're still staying," he shakes his head like a stubborn kid, his voice already drooping into sleep before he yawns. "You have to cuddle all my pain away."
As if I need a reason to cuddle you all day, silly. My hand pats his back in a steady rhythm. "Whatever you say, my baby Katsu."
#Bakugou x reader#bakugou fluff#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#bakugou katsuki#bakugou imagine#bakugou scenario#gender neutral reader#mha bakugou#bnha bakugou#mha x reader#bnha x reader#mha fanfiction#bnha fanfiction
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So how about Lev, Tsuki, Kuroo and Oiks with a really short and shy s/o. (I'm 4'9 so all i want is for someone to pick me up from under the arms like a cat and carry me on their shoulders 👉👈🥺) - Bug Anon
Jsksndk ✨this~✨
Short s/o
⤷Includes: Tsukki, Kuroo, Lev, and Oikawa
----------------------------------------------------------
Tsukishima
I'm sorry but this is Tsukki, he will clown you
No one else is allowed to tease you about your height tho, he will actually end them with some back handed comment
He's the type where if you walk up to him during the day and start talking he'll kinda ignore you a bit then be like "oh sorry, I didn't see you down there"
He’s so mean about it but at the same time he loves when you ask him for help
He makes a big show about being annoyed that you need him to grab something off the top shelf when secretly it's his favorite thing
Thinks it's the funniest thing when you try to kiss him
Like it's not gonna happen you're way to smol to reach his lips
He'll torture you for a bit but eventually he leans down so he can kiss you
Sorry but he rests his arm on your head a lot 😔
Is probably happy that you're a bit shy bc it's easy to fluster you and he vibes well with people that lean more introverted
Living with tall people is actually the worst, like whY does Tsukki feel the need to put all of your favorite mugs on the tOp!! Shelves when he knOws you can't reach them
You know it's fine, you're used to this and have become a champion counter climber 😌✨
So that explains why you were currently kneeling on the counter reaching up for a mug at 10 pm
"What the hell are you doing?"
".......getting my mug? What's it look like silly"
Why are you like this? Why do you feel the need to put yourself in dangerous situations so much?
Kei sighed and walked over to you, he grabbed your waist and pulled you down from the counter then reached up and got the mug down
"You need to stop endangering yourself when you could literally just ask me to help you"
"I wouldn't be endangering myself if you stopped putting MY things on the high shelves!... I swear you do it on purpose sometimes"
He definitely does it on purpose....but he'll never tell you that :)
Kuroo
God he loves you
Kuroo is such a huge dork so expect him to fawn over you
He won't tease you toooo much like he occasionally will hold something out of your reach to watch you jump around trying to get it back
But he really just appreciates you as you are 😌
Kuroo is used to shy, introverted ppl so he's not bothered by it at all
As long as he can hug you he's happy
He LOVES to rest his chin on your head!!
If you're still too short for him to do that he also LOVES giving you back hugs, so either way it's a win win
You were watching Tetsu practice spiking, most of the team had left, only a few stragglers remained trying to get in some extra practice
You were very content with your spot, you were out of the way and happily sat swinging your legs back and forth. Plus you had a pretty good view of Tetsu and Kenma from your bench meaning you could soak up the pure joy that radiated off your boyfriend
Tetsu looked over to see you watching
"Wanna try spiking, sweetheart?"
"Tetsu, I don't think I can even jump high enough to see over the net"
"We won't know until you try~"
I mean he was right...I guess it couldn't hurt
And ya know he looks really cool when he spiked so maybe you'd look pretty cool too!
You walked over to Tetsu and gave Kenma the ok to set the ball for you
You jumped up and you actually hit the ball!!
But the ball didn't even make it past the net 😭
"DON'T LAUGH AT ME!"
"No no you did really good!... You uh... Looked very cute?"
">:(("
"Here do it again I wanna try something"
You sighed, he was just setting you up for failure so he can watch you make a fOOL of yourself again
Kenma set the ball and you jumped up
ONLY THIS TIME YOU KEPT RISING
NDKDNDK KUROO IS REALLY LIFTING YOU UP RN SO YOU CAN SPIKE
You hit the ball and it shot to the ground with a satisfying slap!
"THAT FELT SO COOL!! I FEEL SO POWERFUL!!"
"Yeah you sure look intimidating having me lift you up so you can look over the net"
"Let me have this moment, Tetsurou"
Lev
If anyone were to pick you up like a cat it's this kid
He is lAnKy and you being smol?
He will pick you up....you physically cannot stop him
Likes to lift you up and spin you around when you come to visit him at practice
It usually ends with you being pretty dizzy and Yaku kicking Lev for treating you like a cat
Lev is pretty oblivious to what he says, specifically to people that are shorter to him
He might say something that’s a little rude and unknowingly offend you but he really doesn't mean it
Like it just doesn't click for him that there's a chance he's being insensitive
Just remember that Lev would never ever hurt you intentionally and if he realizes that he hurt you he'd probably panic and continuously apologize to you for the next week
I feel like Lev would compare your hand sizes a lot. He thinks its funny how much smaller your hands are compared to his he gets this funny feeling in his chest whenever he does, you’re just very tiny and cute
It seems like wherever Lev goes he always finds a cat
It's very odd
You were walking around a park for a date when he suddenly stopped at a tree
"AH A CAT WE HAVE TO HELP IT!"
"......It's pretty far up there Lev, I don't think even you can reach it"
"We can't just leave it!!! Quick get on my shoulders!!"
What
How did this happen?
Correction, How did you let this happen?
You reached your hand out to the orange cat sitting on the branch, it slowly made its way in your direction
"Did you save it?"
"almost, move a little to the right"
That cat gracefully leaped into your arms and started purring
Ok maybe this was worth it bc this cat is really cute🥺
You and Lev ended up playing with the cat for a bit getting it to bat at some leaves
The cat even followed you guys for a bit and you see it every so often on your park dates
You named it apricot
Oikawa
I hate to say it but you know that feeling you get when you see a really cute kitten or puppy?
Yeah that's how Oikawa reacts
You're just.....tiny and he has this overwhelming need to hold you
He honestly loves that you're short
Oiks is, surprisingly, pretty tall. Like man is pushing 6'0 so having a small s/o just makes him :))!!
Oikawa doesn't mind your timidness, he thinks it adds to your charm!
Boy friken loves when you hide your face in his chest
Also king of piggy back rides 😌
He will carry you everywhere if given the chance
You were walking back to Oikawa's place
He just finished practice and it was a Friday so he insisted you come over for a sleepover
Yes he still calls them sleepovers, let him live it's cute
You were walking down the street, hand in hand, and the sun had just started going down painting the sky with warm reds and oranges
To be honest you were kinda tired so you started dragging behind a bit
You took a nap while you waited for Seijoh’s practice to end and you only woke up maybe 15 minutes ago? So you were kinda in that weird state where your awake...but not very aware
"(y/n)-chan?"
"huh?"
"Did you not hear what I said?"
"no....I'm sorry Turoo I'm still a bit tired"
":0!! I can't have my precious s/o wAlking if they're tired!"
He just scOOPS you up bridal style and continues walking like it's nothing
I-
Huh I mean sure I guess, if you really insist Tooru
You wrap your arms around his neck for more stability and he sneaks a kiss on to your cheek
"Won't your arms get tired carrying me?"
"Oh please, you're as light as a feather"
😳 ig Volleyball training has it's benefits bc he really can carry you everywhere and never get tired
#kayquests#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima kei#tsukki x reader#tsukishima headcanons#tsukishima scenarios#tsukishima imagine#kuroo tetsuro scenarios#kuroo headcanons#kuroo tetsuro x reader#kuroo x reader#kuroo testuro#lev habia#lev x reader#lev headcanons#lev scenario#oikawa imagine#oikawa tooru#oikawa x reader#oikawa headcanons#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu headcanons#haikyū!!#bug anon
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a Christmas miracle ➛ z.cl
genre: fluff, comedy/crack, bestfriend!chenle, gender neutral reader, hurt/comfort somewhat
pairing: zhong chenle x reader
word count: 2,588 words
warning(s): some swearing
summary: Christmas had been the same old same old holiday for you and your family for plenty of years now, fully embracing the tradition of meeting up with family, exchanging presents, and enjoying each other’s presence on Christmas day. however, this year seemed to feel quite different, with your family quite literally forgetting that Christmas even existed, and with you all stuck in your apartment alone in the snowy city, you weren’t so sure what you were going to do for Christmas this year. unbeknownst to you, though, your sneaky best friend had a trick up his sleeve, and he was determined to make this Christmas one you’ll remember forever.
note: this is a part of mylin’s @suh-insane and sunny’s @neocitybynight Walking in a Winter Wonderland collab! this is my first time participating in a collab solely for Christmas, so I hope you all enjoy this fic of mine! Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it! I hope you all have an amazing and safe Christmas this year, and I just wanted to let you all know that I appreciate and love you guys so so SO much! (and to the people who don’t celebrate it, I still hope you all have a wonderful day nonetheless!)
prompts chosen: “when we finally kiss goodnight how I’ll hate going out in the storm! but if you’ll really hold me tight all the way home I’ll be warm.” + “that’s what Christmas memories are made from. they’re not planned; they’re not scheduled. nobody puts them in their blackberry. they just happen.”
for the past few months, time seemed to fly by without leaving a trace behind, and before you knew it, it was already Christmas day. if it was any other year, you would’ve woken up earlier, around 6 AM to be precise, and start your trek to your parents house with their gifts in hand. however, since your parents and the rest of your family got caught up in other ordeals, and quite literally forgot that Christmas even existed, you had woken up quite later than 6 AM. 9 AM, if you were being specific.
you had still bought your family presents for Christmas, of course, and took the time to wrap them and spiffy them up yourself with various different kinds of Christmas wrapping paper you’ve collected over the years as a pro wrapper (in actuality, it was just your mother giving you extra wrapping paper when she accidentally bought too much, so you weren’t entirely a pro wrapper, per se). what you were trying to say is that you put a lot of thought into buying and decorating presents for your family, and you were sort of down about how you wouldn’t be able to give them their presents in person this year.
basically, what you were trying to get across is that you quite literally had no plans for Christmas this year, and you were probably going to spend your entire day wailing away in your apartment.
nonetheless, you pulled yourself out of bed after being in deep thought for thirty minutes straight, and decided to actually not wail away in your apartment for the rest of the day. it was time to be festive, you thought to yourself, as you slowly made your way around your room to move your curtains aside to let some sunlight seep in. although you were in a brooding mood, you didn’t entirely want your room to reflect that.
you huff to yourself as you slide your feet against the carpet floor, swinging open your closet doors and glancing over all of your clothes, none of them really catching your attention. you sigh before closing both of your closet doors dramatically, turning around and heading towards your dresser. you can faintly hear your phone buzz on your nightstand as you pull on one of the knobs on one of your dresser drawers that contains your pajama pants. you grab a random pair of snug pajama pants and opt to keep the same pajama shirt you wore to bed last night on before heading to the bathroom to change.
after taking some time to get dressed and brush your teeth, you finally exit your bathroom and toss the pajama shorts you wore last night in your hamper. you snatch your phone and stash it in your pocket before making your way towards your miniature kitchen. you promptly grab your kettle and fill it up with water, waiting for it to reach the third line before placing it on your stove. you move the dial until its exactly on high temperature, and you’re about to start to make yourself breakfast until you feel your phone buzz in your pocket.
fed up with how active your phone had been for the past thirty minutes, you finally fish your phone out of your pocket and lean against the counter next to your stove.
your phone contained the usual notifications, such as Instagram likes, Team Snapchat sending you a Christmas snap, your best friend chenle spamming your phone- wait, your best friend chenle spamming your phone? that was FAR from your usual notifications, and you were honestly quite surprised that he was contacting you on Christmas day this year. he’s usually spending it with his family all day, and never texts you back until he gets back home, which is around eight PM.
without thinking, you unlock your phone and tap on the messages icon, and your jaw almost drops when you see how many messages he sent you within the past few hours. since 6 AM, chenle has sent you over one hundred messages, and for once, you were grateful that you were a heavy sleeper, because if you were a light sleeper and woke up to every single one of his messages, you would’ve lost your mind.
you [9:45 AM]: please chenle what do you WANT FROM ME
lele the dumdum [9:45 AM]: WOW YOU’VE FINALLY WOKEN UP FROM UR DEEP SLUMBER
lele the dumdum [9:45 AM]: I THOUGHT U WERE NEVER GOING TO WAKE UP
lele the dumdum [9:46 AM]: took u long enough smh
you [9:46 AM]: ...is this really how you’re going to treat me on Christmas day??
lele the dumdum [9:46 AM]: I treat you like this all the time. what makes you think that today’s gonna be any different?
you [9:47 AM]: …
lele the dumdum [9:47 AM]: anyways… MY GORGEOUS WONDERFUL BESTIE WHAT DO U HAVE PLANNED FOR CHRISTMAS TODAY
lele the dumdum [9:48 AM]: DO ANY OF UR PLANS INVOLVE ME POTENTIALLY COMING OVER??? O.O
you [9:48 AM]: is this why you’ve been spamming my phone SINCE 6 AM!?!?!
you [9:48 AM]: also why were you awake at 6 am anyways
you [9:49 AM]: did your crush finally text you back or are you still drowning in loneliness like usual
lele the dumdum [9:50 AM]: I don’t even have a crush??? who told you that false information
you [9:50 AM]: the little elves running around my house whispered it in my ear last night
lele the dumdum [9:51 AM]: I think you’re going to delusional
you [9:51 AM]: I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case at this point
lele the dumdum [9:51 AM]: MOVING ON
lele the dumdum [9:52 AM]: WHAT DO U HAVE PLANNED
lele the dumdum [9:52 AM]: I NEED TO KNOW THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT
you [9:53 AM]: me planning to wail in sorrow all day is very important to you??
lele the dumdum [9:53 AM]: ...excuse me what?? UR GOING TO WAIL IN SORROW ALL DAY ON CHRISTMAS DAY!?!?
lele the dumdum [9:54 AM]: this is not acceptable. I am coming over right now to spread some of my FESTIVENESS AND JOLLINESS with you :D
you [9:55 AM]: chenle you really don’t have to-
lele the dumdum [9:55 AM]: TOO BAD IM OMW RN AS WE SPEAK
you [9:56 AM]: at least bring some festivities, games, and snacks with you 🙄
lele the dumdum [9:56 AM]: oh shit you have a point
lele the dumdum [9:57 AM]: BRB ILL BE THERE IN 30
you knew that once chenle had made his mind up about something, he wasn’t going to change it that easily, so it would be futile to try and stop him now. you don't bother replying to his last message, and you shove your phone back in your pocket a few moments before your kettle whistles. you move on from chenle tormenting you for twelve minutes straight and make yourself some tea and breakfast instead.
it was now around 10:30 AM, and you had just finished digesting your breakfast when you feel your phone buzz in your pocket again. you were lying down on your small, beige couch, with your cold tea sat on the coffee table a few feet away. you were still in your pajamas, with no intent of changing into actual clothes anytime soon.
once again, you fish your phone out of your pocket to see what nonsense chenle was texting you this time.
lele the dumdum [10:31 AM]: open up, bitch
you [10:31 AM]: I thought I gave you a spare key??
lele the dumdum [10:32 AM]: shit I forgot it
lele the dumdum [10:32 AM]: anyways OPEN UP
you lazily lift yourself up from off of your couch, grasping your mug of cold tea on the way to the door. you take your time unlocking your door, halfly because you felt like annoying chenle, and halfly because you were just over today in general.
the first thing that stands out to you once you swing open your front door is how different your outfit looks compared to chenle. he was all bundled up with plenty of layers to keep him warm while adventuring the city, and meanwhile you adorned white and pink striped pajamas with socks on. you also noticed that he had a dark grey bookbag on his back, and was holding two full bags in his hands.
the two of you stare at each other for a few more seconds until chenle breaks the silence with: “I think this is the most I’ve seen you look like a complete old person. there have been other times, but the old person persona is just jumping out at me right now.”
you roll your eyes. “don’t say that when you yourself have dressed up as an old person before.”
“yeah, yeah,” he brushes you off, passing by you to slip his shoes off and to take off his five hundred layers. “it doesn’t matter whether you look like an old person, it mainly matters whether you have the spirit of an old person, you know?”
“I cannot comprehend your words this early in the morning. we can have a conversation about whether I act like an old person later.” you say as you watch him remove his large, dark green jacket and place it onto your coat rack. you can hear him scoff at your remark, and you grin as you see the corners of his mouth lift up slightly.
“early in the morning? y/n it’s only-” he pauses to check his phone “10:32 AM. that’s early for you?”
“I woke up at 9 AM, you dum.”
“oh,” he swivels around to face you after taking his shoes off and removing all of his additional layers. “makes sense, I guess. you’ve only been awake for an hour and a half, so you’re probably not fully awake yet. I mean, I’ve been awake since 6 am, and I’m bursting with energy compared to you.”
you give him a deadpan expression in response to what he said, and he can’t help but burst out laughing at your reaction. he steps up beside you and pats your shoulder gently. “well, besides that, I’m gonna be the one who helps you burst with energy like I am right now! follow me!” he whisper-shouts a few inches away from your ear, and you can feel his hand leave your shoulder and grasp your right hand in a matter of seconds.
he leads you back towards your couch, and even somehow manages to help you set your mug down even though he has bags in his hands. the two of you plop down on your couch, and you almost melt at how soft and comfortable your couch was. you closed your eyes for a few seconds as chenle rustled through his bags beside you, and you don’t know how much time has passed when chenle starts to snap his fingers at you.
“y/n, I am not going to deal with your sleepy ass right now. I spent around forty minutes scurrying around the city to find things to lift your mood, and I am not going to let those forty minutes go to waste just because you’re tired.”
you groan and roll to the other side, facing away from chenle. “just five more minutes…”
surprisingly, you’re met by silence in response to your wish of wanting five more minutes of rest, but that silence doesn’t last when you feel something cold touch your face.
you screech and immediately open your eyes to witness chenle pressing an ice cube onto your forehead. you swat the ice cube off of your forehead as quick as you can, and stare up at chenle like he’s gone completely mad. “what was that for?”
he grins proudly. his plan had worked. “awake now? great. now, help me figure out what we should do first.”
“I think you’ve gone mad. I cannot believe you just woke me up by pressing an ice cube onto my forehead.” you complain, still feeling the coldness of the ice cube on your forehead. when you finally move to face him now, you see that he had brought plenty of things for you two to entertain yourselves.
“I could’ve done worse things, like dip my hand into freezing water and press it against your face, but I was feeling generous today, so I decided to spare you the pain.”
you scoff. “right. anyways, what’d you bring?”
he glances at you excitedly before getting into it. “well, I brought plenty of snacks, some fizzy drinks, some board games, some movies I rented that we could watch together, some candy, etc. I honestly brought everything that I thought you would like with me, so I really hope all of this is enough to make your Christmas day a little bit more festive. I may have also bought you a present, but besides that… let’s get this party started! ...y/n?”
he tears his gaze away from the couch to up to your face, and you don’t entirely register that you’re crying until a few minutes after staring into his eyes. “oh, I’m sorry… I just… I’m just really grateful that you decided to come all this way to cheer me up on Christmas day, and you brought so many things with you as well to make me feel better so… thank you, chenle.”
he beams at you even though he can feel a tear threatening to fall from his left eye, and instead of letting you see him cry as well, he quickly wraps his arms around your figure, bringing you into a tight hug. “of course, y/n. you know I’d do anything for you, right? if you’re down, I’m going to cheer you up in some way, shape, or form, and if you feel like watching the world burn, then I’ll be right by your side.”
“awh, stop it, you’re going to make me cry even more.” you faintly hit his back with your hand, and he giggles as a few tears fall down his face.
the two of you stay like that for a good five more minutes, which is enough time for chenle to regain his composure and act like he didn’t shed a few tears in the process. he slowly leaves your grasp, taking a good look at your face and wiping some tears off of your face with his thumb. “you know what I think will make you feel better?”
you grin. “what?”
he smiles before swiveling around to rustle through his bookbag, and your eyes widen when you finally process what he’s up to.
the next moment happens so quickly you can barely register that it’s happening. chenle swivels around with two nerf guns in his hands, throws you one that lands perfectly in your arms, and declares: “me completely destroying you in a nerf gun battle will make you feel better.” before he releases fire on you.
you shriek as you run across your apartment, trying to avoid the plastic bullets that chenle was littering your apartment with. eventually, he does win the battle, and it does make you feel better in the end, but let’s not mention that or else his ego will run wild, alright?
#dreamwritersnet#neothestars#nct dream imagines#nct dream scenarios#nct dream blurb#nct dream drabble#nct dream fluff#nct chenle#zhong chenle#chenle#chenle imagines#chenle scenarios#chenle blurb#chenle drabble#chenle fluff#chenle fic#nct dream fic#nct imagines#nct scenarios#nct blurb#nct drabble#nct fluff
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𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗
° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂°
10:37pm
pairing: oikawa toru, iwaizumi hajime x fem! reader
ratings/warnings: some swearing
synopsis: Falling in love was never Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s intention when they stumbled upon a local bed and breakfast. The girl working there never planned on it either...ever. When both boys fall for the girl afraid to love, what could possibly go wrong?
•
[11:03am]
Oikawa woke up to the irresistible smell of a fresh breakfast. His stomach growled, as he hadn’t eaten since the morning before. He stretched and got up from his bed.
“Iwa-Chan, let’s go eat. I’m starving,” he groaned. Oikawa shook Iwaizumi’s arm, slowly waking him up. Iwaizumi sighed.
“Okay okay, gimme a second.” Iwaizumi yawned, checking his phone. 11:03am. The car shop should be open, thought Iwaizumi. The two boys began to make their way down stairs to the dining hall.
They came across a few other guests of the B&B. Mostly young couples or older folk who wanted company. The Honey B&B was lively, everyone there seemed to have a smile on their face.
Oikawa and Iwaizumi followed their noses, leading them into the kitchen. There, Y/N was cooking away. One hand was stirring rice while the other was pouring cups of tea. She peaked over her shoulder, seeing Oikawa and Iwaizumi. She had a certain glow to her, making the boys’ hearts beat a little fast when they saw her.
“Good morning! Oikawa and Iwaizumi, right?” she smiled.
“Y-Yeah. Do you need a hand?” asked Iwaizumi. Y/N chuckled.
“That’s very sweet of you but I’m all good. Anyway you’re a guest.” Y/N walked over to the boys, handing them each a cup of green tea.
“Thank you,” said Oikawa. They each took a sip of the warm tea, sending a fuzzy sensation through them.
“So, how would you like your breakfast today?” asked Y/N.
“In bed,” blurted out Oikawa. Iwaizumi smacked the back of Oikawa’s head. Y/N laughed.
“We can just grab whatever is left in the dining hall,” said Iwa.
“Alright but if you’re still hungry, just let me know. I can make you whatever you’d like,” Y/N explained. The boys nodded and went over to the dining hall.
“So it wasn’t my imagination. She really is just that gorgeous,” said Oikawa.
“Do you think she works here full time?” wondered Iwa.
“If she does then maybe we better stay a little longer,” laughed Toru.
~
The boys stuffed their faces with everything in sight. The food was incredible. There was no surprise as to why this place seemed so popular.
After seconds and thirds, Oikawa and Iwaizumi decided to explore the comforting bed and breakfast.
In the dark, it was hard to see how huge the place really was. There was a lounge with couches, a game room, a kids room, the dining hall, and of course the kitchen. All the guests' rooms were on the second and third floor. The backyard seemed to be the most impressive. With a wall of cherry blossom trees keeping everyone inclosed, it felt as though you were in your own little world. There were a few hammocks, some yard games, and even a small pool and hot tub.
“This place is way nicer than I expected. Usually they’re pretty crappy,” said Oikawa.
“I wonder how long they’ve been doing this, and if Y/N runs this place by herself.”
“Wait a minute, is the car still parked on the side of the road?” realized Oikawa. Iwaizumi’s eyes grew.
“Uh, it might be…”
“Shit, we need to call that car shop.”
“I don’t know their number,” huffed Iwaizumi. Oikawa smiled.
“But I know someone who does.”
Oikawa strolled back inside of the house. He went to the kitchen again, hoping to see Y/N there. She was standing by the sink, washing some dishes.
“Excuse me, Y/N?”
Y/N flinched a little, then flashed Oikawa a smile.
“Oh sorry, you scared me. How can I help you?”
“Do you think you could give me the number to the car shop you had mentioned yesterday, and possibly any tow truck companies to get the car over there?” asked Oikawa.
“Oh yeah of course. I could actually tow you there myself, to save you and your friend some money,” she explained.
“Really? You don’t mind?”
“No not at all! I’m happy to help. I’ll ask my grandpa for his truck and take you over to the shop. An old friend of mine actually owns the place, so I’ll give him a call and let him know.”
“Thank you so much.”
“How about I finish cleaning here and I meet you and Iwaizumi outside in a couple minutes?” she suggested. Oikawa nodded.
“Sounds good, again thank you so much.”
“Don’t mention it.” Y/N smiled then turned back around and continued to wash the dishes. Oikawa rushed back to Iwa.
“So Y/N’s gonna take us to the car place,” he explained. Iwaizumi’s eyes grew.
“How did you get her to do that?”
“She offered. Gosh, she’s such an angel,” blushed Oikawa. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes.
“Yeah well you sure as hell aren’t gonna impress her when you look and smell like that. You’re still in your travel clothes from yesterday,” huffed Hajime. Oikawa gasped.
“Iwa-Chan this is your fault! You said to leave all our stuff in the car!”
“Hey we both look like shit so I guess we’re even.”
“The second we get back I am taking the longest shower. I don’t need Y/N to see me like this any longer.”
“Yeah because the alien sweater in your bag will swoop her off her feet for sure,” joked Iwa. Toru groaned.
“Hey now! It’s not like she is gonna like Godzilla or something stupid like that!”
“Well how would you know shit-head!”
“Ready to go?”
Y/N stood in front of the bickering boys, dangling her keys. They stood up straight, faces red.
“Yup, let’s go.”
•
a/n: hi hi!! sorry this took forever to post💛 its almost midnight here so the obvious answer is to post this rn so it stops stressing me out 😅 i hope you all are doing well :)) i promise i won’t take forever to post part 3 next time. reblogs are really helpful :))
[general taglist (form in masterlist) : @lealofsblog @iwaisa @bakugousmymassa @roesaurus @evivn1 @astrooliver @tetsoleil @bokutory @vangoghmusings @moonlightaangel @complimentaryhugsgirl ]
next: 12:54pm
#willow.🌸#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x y/n#hq#oikawa toru fluff#oikawa toru x reader#oikawa tooru#oikawa tōru#oikawa toru scenarios#iwaizumi hq#iwaizumi x reader#iwaizumi x y/n#iwaizumi hajime#iwaizumi scenarios#iwaizumi fluff
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!! TW: VENT, SH, S*ICIDAL THOUGHTS!!
I'm so tired, I really love my partner more than anything else in the world but I keep messing up. Not even like big mistakes, just a lot of small ones but it never stops, I feel like whatever I do I always hurt them in the smallest ways or upset them. Yesterday they had school but yk he's my favorite person and it's been 3 weeks they started school and with the really different Timezones (I live in Belgium and they live in Texas) well it means that they wake up at 3-4 pm here and then they hang up our call even though they said they would stay on call with me during the day so I wouldn't feel too bad but they actually rarely do it, then they only answer my texts when class are about to start at 5.30 pm and yeah they reply every few hours until 4 am here a lot of the time. And I understand, they have school and they can't always be available but I just wanted to point out that with my bdp it has been so fucking hard to go from calling everyday, all day long at not even being able to text and having to stay awake all night because I can't sleep without them (which is not their fault again). But yeah so yesterday it starts again but this time after they hang up our call in the morning they told me that they will go to school sooner so we could have a lot of time to call and talk etc so I wait and they do call when they arrive at school and I was already crying because I'm clingy and didn't want them to go again but then after like 10 minutes of talking someone comes and they mute for like 30 minutes without even saying goodbye or "I love you" or anything, then they sent me a text saying they're starting class now and can't talk anymore and I know its stupid but it litteraly broke my heart, I spent the entire day trying to know why they did that, maybe I'm too clingy and annoying? Maybe it's because I was crying? Maybe they just don't really care anymore and love me less? I don't know but why would they tell me that we could talk for a long time and then just disappear like that after 10 minutes? What did I do wrong?
Anyways, I learned how to hide it from them when I'm hurt because I feel like I'm hurt for nothing and that it makes me really toxic and manipulative so I just took some space and time to concentrate and then just told them "I feel a little bad, I'm sorry" while I was crying my eyes out and screaming because my heart physically ached. But yeah before all that they said they would call me right when they finish school and so I was waiting and was still really excited that we could have some time together and so at 4 AM they Called once but I was in my bathroom and so I missed the call and like the stupid mess that I am I started to try to call them back but since they wouldn't reply i called them a lot of times because I was too excited and thought they fell asleep or didn't put the sound on but when I stopped, after 20 minutes they sent me texts saying that they were about to answer the call but I called too many times and it made them feel bad and dissociate. I've never felt so fucking stupid and toxic. And yk I don't want to make myself a victim but I was waiting for this call all fucking day and I messed up and they didn't call me at all. It's not the first time this happens. I hate myself so damn much, I just want to dissappear.
And like if it wasn't enough i fell asleep after their texts saying I made them feel bad and that I apologized for being stupid and yk I thought they would call me and wake me up so we could be together but I think i made them too upset and that I was just too much so when I woke up I saw that they didn't try to call me or even text me and once again I started to cry and I called them because it was too much, and they fell asleep while I was crying because they were exhausted. And later in the morning I dropped my phone while sleeping and it hurt their ears really bad because of their sensory issues and once again it happens a lot, I really try to be careful but I always end up making a noise that makes them feel bad. And I understand them, I have sensory issues myself and my ears hurt all the time when we call because their phone makes a loud noise etc but I never told them cause it's gonna make them feel like they're doing something bad while they can't do anything about it and it will upset them and they would mute and never come back.
So yeah, lately I've been feeling really bad and almost relapsed in sh again but then I stop myself and I don't tell them because it would make them upset and worry and when they worry they're cold and don't talk to me and i just really don't want that. I already mess up enough. And I think they getting tired of me, in the begging of us and until some time ago they were always hyping me up or writing me long texts to expose their love to me, they sent me a lot of wholesome memes and they seemed really excited to call me too but now it's just not like that anymore, they barely answer when I send them wholesome memes. I don't know maybe I'm too clingy? Maybe I should give them some space and stop sending memes and long texts a lot? Maybe they're just bored of me now. I understand once again, I'm too much of everything. Too much to care about, too much to worry about, I give too much love and he's maybe suffocating, I complain too much, I ask for too much reassurance too. Maybe they just lost feelings. And that hurts so bad to think about it, I just can't live without them but I also don't want them to be stuck with me if they don't love me that much anymore.
I often try to reassure and tell myself that they maybe just feel bad these times and it's maybe getting hard for them to show their feelings or act like they did before and I would be so fucking selfish if it was the case. They never tell me when they're doing bad, they always just say "tired." or that they're doing okay and just worry about me and on the moment I trust them but then I feel stupid because I know its not true, they would always say that and then vent in their vent account or private story from which he removes me when he says something about his mood or problems (I saw it because he made a mistake once, they vented earlier in the day and then later I messed up and they made a story that was for me to see so I could know I messed up and made them have a panic attack and when I looked at their story again I could see the earlier vent too). I don't understand why they're doing that but at the same time I once had an episode because of what they said while venting to me cause I took it personally like the dumbass I am (they said they had suicidal thoughts and needed me with them rn and when I said that everything would be okay and that I was going to be there with them soon they said that it was too much time because I was supposed to go this year but I had to stop school because of my mental health and now I have to start again). So I suppose that it makes it hard to vent to me or be honest about their feelings.
I'm just useless and I feel like they would be so damn much better without me, i keep messing up and I just can't seem to stop. The whole relationship is almost just that, me hurting them with my shit and then they feel guilty for feeling bad about it and it just makes it worse. But then I just can't live without them. That's selfish but I would not be able to leave them and keep on living, I never told them of course, but yeah.
I hate it there.
#ventcore#vent text#ed vent#traumacore#trauma#love quotes#notes#tw self destructive behavior#tw depressing stuff#tw self destruction#tw ed mention
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TEXTS; ZOE & YAS
pt.4 - July & August 2021
JULY
yasmin puckerman
Hi
can I come over, Sir?
zoe rose
Yes, good girl.
yasmin puckerman
what could I do to get you to tell me that again when I get there?
zoe rose
Edge twice for me before you get here. The kneel in front of my bedroom door patiently until I come out and get you.
yasmin puckerman
bet how you want me to do it?
zoe rose
Once with a vibrator and once with your fingers, the second one I want a video of.
yasmin puckerman
ok but this means you're gonna fuck me when I get there right??
[ 13 minutes later ]
mastur.gif
zoe rose
Good girl.
yasmin puckerman
fuck ok
zoe rose
liked this
yasmin puckerman
I found sativa
zoe rose
So did I. I was just reminded of that video you sent a while back.
yasmin puckerman
which video?
zoe rose
You edging for me.
yasmin puckerman
nice, thats a five star one
zoe rose
Yes it is. How’s Chicago?
yasmin puckerman
lit I got home and hugged ma for five mins straight
she had to fight my ass off
zoe rose
So you're happy?
yasmin puckerman
yeah I feel good you getting ready to head out?
zoe rose
Good, I’m glad.
yasmin puckerman
what you getting up to?
zoe rose
We just landed. Marley is excited to see our Mom.
yasmin puckerman
oh damn, are you not? you glad to be home?
zoe rose
I am. But this trip was more for Marley. I was fine either way.
yasmin puckerman
what do you usually get up to at home? like where you like to throw down?
zoe rose
You’ll be surprised to learn I spend a lot of time at home. Outside of that? The beach, the park.
What about you and Chicago?
yasmin puckerman
yeah actually that don’t surprise me at all I bounce around a lot. I like being home but, I like being in the move better
Been doing my old rounds. But if it get late and no ones around when I’m bored I just go downtown, hang around the let outs
zoe rose
I would love to spend just one night there with you. See what you get into.
yasmin puckerman
you could I mean, if you wanted to? whenever you wanted to it’d be dope
zoe rose
You’re already coming here, right?
yasmin puckerman
yeah I am, I def am
but if you wanted to come spend a few days
you could still come out tho, I’d get to show you around
but a couple days or sum? I did hella good in sales at that store tbh, let the savings rack up and only took a little from paychecks every week ya know so I could make sure I had what I’d need to come see my mom in the summer. She taught me all that that’s how she always pulled through for holidays shit sorry, it’s this bud I’m hella gone right now my point is. I could fly you here before I go there? if you wanted to, Sir? lucked out in my $$ tickets so I mean I’m not swimming but there could be cheap flights?
zoe rose
I’ll come, baby. And I’ll take care of the flight.
yasmin puckerman
damn you’ve never said that bef ok dope
whenever is easier for you, ya know with Marley and everything
zoe rose
I’ll talk to Marley and decide on a weekend.
yasmin puckerman
loved this dope
yasmin puckerman
so my weekend sucked
zoe rose
What happened?
yasmin puckerman
nothing happened, it was just dry not what I’m used to anymore
zoe rose
You mean because I wasn’t there to fuck you?
yasmin puckerman
yeah sum like that
zoe rose
We’ll fix that soon.
yasmin puckerman
(heartface) (alien)
yasmin puckerman
waddup, Sir?
zoe rose
Hello. Another dry night?
yasmin puckerman
you just making predictions or?
zoe rose
I’m good at using what I know to infer, yes.
yasmin puckerman
also I was just tryin to talk to you so its not just that
zoe rose
Talk talk or just text?
yasmin puckerman
text but, either? I'm not home but I got a min
zoe rose
Where are you?
yasmin puckerman
walking back from the (plug.emoji) but I gotta stop at the store for milk and woods
zoe rose
That’s an odd combination.
yasmin puckerman
the corner store special
zoe rose
I’m going to a party tonight. Just to get out of the house.
yasmin puckerman
dope like a house party?
zoe rose
Yeah. It’s too bad you’re not here.
yasmin puckerman
fr tho, I'm a whole jam at a house party bringing these hips and rolling skills
zoe rose
I already know.
yasmin puckerman
yeah you do I wish I was there too
zoe rose
loved this
AUGUST
zoe rose
My flight will be arriving at 10:20pm this Friday.
yasmin puckerman
and Fri is hella far
zoe rose
Less than a week.
yasmin puckerman
almost a whole ass week
zoe rose
You can't wait 5 days?
yasmin puckerman
I CAN I’m just hype
zoe rose
Good. I have something for you.
yasmin puckerman
yeah? something besides you?
zoe rose
Oh if I’m enough I can return it
yasmin puckerman
wait nobody said all that
I like gifts
zoe rose
I know you do. This one is going to be a surprise.
yasmin puckerman
oh so you do like surprises just not getting them
zoe rose
Yes.
yasmin puckerman
okay I’m not saying nothin just pointing it out
zoe rose
Mhm. Did you tell your mom I was coming?
yasmin puckerman
oh fuck, I should do that
zoe rose
You should.
yasmin puckerman
yeah I just keep forgetting I'll tell her tonight
zoe rose
Good girl. I’ll forward you my flight information
yasmin puckerman
I had to tell her twice because she fr didn't believe me tell me you sneak everyone through your window without tellin
zoe rose
Why doesn’t she believe you? I walk everyone through the front door without explanation.
yasmin puckerman
I climb in and out the window even when I’m by myself but she don’t believe me because she thought I was joking. I don’t know why it’s funny
zoe rose
Did you ask her?
yasmin puckerman
usually i'm just trying not to alert nobody to my whereabouts moving in silence
ask her if you could stay? yeah that's no problem, I mean my brother and his girl are around
zoe rose
I meant did you ask her why it's funny?
yasmin puckerman
oh no cause she stopped when she got that I was serious
zoe rose
Well at least you're not trying to sneak me into your window.
yasmin puckerman
I can picture the exact look you’d give me if I tried it
zoe rose
Good.
yasmin puckerman
one more day!
zoe rose
I’m ready.
yasmin puckerman
I been ready I bought you shampoo like the ones in your shower
zoe rose
Thank you. Do you have bath soaps/salts as well?
yasmin puckerman
soap yes salts?
zoe rose
I’ll have Marley show me the one she uses.
yasmin puckerman
Alright. Lemme know, I'll grab whatever you want.
zoe rose
I will let you know.
yasmin puckerman
10:20 right?
zoe rose
Yes.
yasmin puckerman
dope Imma have two rolled
zoe rose
The best welcome you could ever give me.
yasmin puckerman
And also my momma is doing an overnight
zoe rose
Good. Because we are not going to be quiet.
yasmin puckerman
I can’t wait
zoe rose
liked this
zoe rose
I know we just got here, but we’re rolling out. Put your hair up. And meet me downstairs in 5.
yasmin puckerman
oh shit okay Im coming rn
zoe rose
Good girl.
yasmin puckerman
are there any of those cupcakes your sister made left?
zoe rose
There might be.
yasmin puckerman
you tryin to bring me back one?
zoe rose
No.
[ ... ]
Try again.
yasmin puckerman
could you bring me back one, Sir? a chocolate one?
no vanilla no yeah, chocolate
zoe rose
You're missing something.
yasmin puckermanBOT — Yesterday at 6:01 PM
please?
zoe roset 6:07 PM
I'll decide the flavor.
yasmin puckerman
okay but, also bring a chocolate one pls
zoe rose
[read]
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April 26, 2021
10:08 am
I realised 2 things this weekend.
1. The food is not worth all the tears I spent for it. Yeah I missed some flavours but I didnt see heaven when I ate them.
And 2. I cannot allow myself to take some "normal days" without planning all the food because I end with a >4000kcal binge and very miserable thoughts.
So since Im not doing all this for just going to bed wanting to k word myself because I cant control what I eat, I have to do cheat days when my parents are at home.
I feel so bad rn, even if my belly is less big and bloated. I planned almost all the week (I will maybe change a couple of meals if we'll go to the store soon because I dont have some safe foods at home but I will not add stupid stuff) and there is no day that reach 500kcal. If I crave something during the afternoon I have to push the feeling and allow myself to only eat a fruit. Thats it. I know my therapist will be really angry but what's the worst, me crying everytime Im alone or her for just one hour?
Also I will def not weight myself until I'll feel better so idk how much I'll weight in the next days. I have to feel hungry and with no energy again.
11:40 am
I finished to prepare the mushrooms for lunch, I will add those to my egg whites and maybe add some tomato sauce.
Idk if I'll exercise today since I had a little panic attack, Im feeling not so good so maybe I will just walk a little.
2:38 pm
Finished lunch, I got nausea from eating all the mushrooms, but I still finished what I had in my plate. I took a biscuit with the coffee because even with that the plan is still under 500. I totally forgot I already planned to eat an apple during the afternoon, and now I'll go out for a walk so I'll decide later if I will eat it or not. I will not eat it for sure after 6pm so I'll try to stay away from home until then. I feel so big but also full of water, so I hope to get rid of this bloated mass that is my belly in three days or something. I want to try a skirt when i'll govto the city for see my therapist, but I have to be back in my shape for that.
4:20 pm
Came back from the walk, burned 329kcal. Since I ate only 222kcal for lunch I see this as a win. I also found out that where I burned myself back on saturday there is an ugly blister and its right on my tattoo, so I'll consider this the punishment for the mess of this weekend.
7:44 pm
I ate the apple because I was craving something, but it was enough. I also prepared shrimps and green beans for dinner. When I have to cook stuff Im way more in control of food. Tomorrow I'll go with mom to the store so I'll be able to find some safe stuff and buy a lot of fruits 💗 (I mean I can go by myself but Im a jobless 25yo so if I go with her I will not spend my money :'))
10:18 pm
I allowed myself to drink a monster after dinner, I already finished it but maybe I will prepare some tea or at least drink more water before bed time.
I managed to stay under 500 today and Im really happy about it. Tomorrow will be hopefully the same (and if not, it will still be under 600).
11:01 pm
Looked in the mirror, I thought my belly was worse than this. Im full of water so maybe I will feel like before soon... I'll try to stick under 500kcal everyday until I'll be back under 60kg.
#ana#thinspiration#thinspo#thin#skinny#ed#cw disordered eating#eating problems#eating diary#eating disorder
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Testing the Waters (pt. 1)
Summary: youve finally graduated high school and now youre moving on to college. youve decided to go to sendai university. its summer and youve become curious about checking out the dating pool in miyagi, so you download a dating app. you figure you might as well have fun before delving too deep into your studies
Part: [part one] out of ???
Pairings: nishinoya x reader / kuroo x reader / oikawa x reader / kiyoko x reader
A/N: theres tons of ships here, just me living out my hoe phase lmao please dont judge me. let me know what yall think
Genre: fluff, smut, crack
Warnings: flirting, college shinanigans
even though you decided to stay in your hometown to further your studies, you moved out as soon as you could. your parents were smothering you and you were honestly tired of it. so, you got your own apartment and started to live on your own. everything was fine and easy so far but then you realized how lonely you felt. your friends had moved away to go to other universities, and you were never really good at relationships. the anxiety of not knowing what to do with yourself until classes started was consuming you. to deal with this, you figured you might as well download a dating app.
“Gotta check out all the hot singles in my area, I guess,” you thought.
it had been a while since your last relationship but you were sure you were ready again. or maybe you could try to find something different. maybe some hookups could be enough to help you during this weird adjustment period.
you downloaded the app and added whatever details were needed.
Name: l/n, y/n
Looking for: chat, relationship, hookup, anything
Bio:
it took you about ten minutes to finally decide on what you wanted to add to your bio. finally, you typed out:
Bio: just another single college student looking for genuine human connections. Interests include watching anime, reading nerdy shit, and getting to know you
you were never too good at coming up with bios but this should be good enough for now. time to see what kind of fish you could catch..
not even a minute after uploading a picture of yourself, a new message showed up.
Nishinoya Yuu: hey, beautiful! (;
Y/n: oh hi! how are you?
N: doing better now that I’m talking to youuuu. how about your lovely self?
Y: wow someone is really straightforward. I’m doing pretty well rn thanks. what are you up to?
N: just been bored as fuck on here and then BOOM you showed up (:
Y: lol youre silly. so hows the whole dating scene look like on here? any good ones?
N: nah it sucks honestly. But now you’re here so its a million times better!
Y: oh shush lol. does this site really work? like have you actually met someone from here?
N: uhh i actually havent met anyone yet, but ive had some nice conversations so far! ive still got high hopes
Y: have you been on here for a long time?
N: i just downloaded it like two weeks ago? idk but yeah. im hoping that maybe youll be my first??
Y: your first what? haha be more specific
N: OH sorry!! i didnt mean it like that omg. i meant like my first person to meet off of this app lol
Y: i mean if youre not busy right now, we could meet up for a coffee date or something? (cliche right?)
N: ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? like... right now rIGHT NOW?
Y: yeah (: sorry for doing this so fast. you’re just really cute and im bored haha
N: nooooo its fine i swear im just a little shocked. and WOW you think IM CUTE? you should look in the mirror because your gorgeousss *heart eyes emoji*
Y: so its settled? lets meet today at around 1 pm at XXX cafe?
N: yeah! thats not too far from here! i CANT WAIT
Y: same here (:
as soon as you sent that last message you hopped in the shower and started getting ready. you debated whether to put on makeup or not and then eventually decided to do it. you wore that one red dress that greatly accentuated your butt and your curves. you checked the clock and it was 30 MINUTES UNTIL 1 so you finished up by brushing your hair and adding on a spritz of peach scented perfume. “Hopefully this impresses him.”
the cafe you guys agreed to meet at was only a short walk away from your apartment. you were almost at the cafe when you noticed the time again and it was already 10 MINUTES PAST 1! you were so scared that he thought you stood him up but as you got closer, you noticed a cute boy sitting by himself outside. you stared at his backside for a little, unsure if this was your mystery boy. so you messaged him on the app
Y: heeeey are you the one sitting alone outside with a tan shirt and some ripped black jeans?
your phone lit up with the answer to your question: “yes”
as you looked up again, you noticed the stranger you were staring at had stood up and was looking right into your eyes. once you locked eyes, he grinned the biggest smile you’d ever seen and he chuckled.
“Hi there!! L/n, right? Nice to meet ya, I’m Nishinoya Yuu. Wow, you’re even more beautiful in person!! Do you want anything from the cafe? I’m buying”
You were kind of shocked by his beautiful smile and his spiky hair. It took you a while to respond as you tried to take in the wonderful sight in front of you. He was simply breath taking. You could tell he was the athletic type by the way his shirt hung onto his broad, toned shoulders.
“Ummm... L/n? Are you okay? Do you want any coffee or sweets from the cafe?”
“OH, oh my god, I’m so sorry! I got distracted..” you said as you looked away from him, getting redder by the second. you hadn’t even noticed his compliment or the way he kept eyeing you up and down and licking his lips. “Yeah, I’d love to get a coffee, if you don’t mind. Please..”
His eyes snapped back up to yours. “Awesome, I’ll go order inside. You can just sit your pretty little self here while I do that. Don’t run away! I’ll be right back!”
now that you had some time to reflect on what the heck just happened.. you breathed a sigh of relief. You couldn’t believe that he was real and so goddamn gorgeous. His little tuft of blonde hair at the front of his head was so cute and his smile.. goddamn. the way he looked at you.. and his friendly demeanor. it was all so much to take in. you didn’t really know how to react. as soon as you had relaxed, you tensed back up as he came back and sat down with you.
“Here’s your coffee hot and ready just for you, hun”
“Thank you so much Nishinoya” you blushed a bit as your mouth pronounced his name
“Hey, just call me Noya! Or Yuu...”
“On a first name basis already?”
“Only if you want to..”
you giggled as you noticed that he was getting bright pink too. “Okay, Yuu.”
as soon as you said his first name, his eyes lit up and that bright pink hue on his face soon turned into a passionate red
“Soooo..” you said as you tried to break up the silence.. “what do you do? do you go to school?”
“Yeah! I’m going to start going to Sendai University in the fall! I’m going to be playing on the volleyball team! How about you?”
“No way.. I’m gonna go there too! I guess I’ll be seeing you around probably. And wow! Volleyball huh? That’s hot.”
when you said that last part, Noya almost spat out his coffee. you laughed at the look on his face. he was blushing so much he couldn’t keep still. you were almost afraid he would just run away from you and never come back.
He just tried to regain his composure and laughed. “You really got me there oh my god i almost choked. But yeah I can’t wait to play again.”
The rest of the afternoon you guys talked about everything from anime to your favorite season, to your least favorite horror movie. The more you two bonded over common interests, the more he let his wild side out. He became more rambunctious and fiery and this did things to you, to say the least. you checked your phone to check the time and it was already 6:45 pm. You had no clue as to when the sun had started setting, but it didn’t matter because you hadn’t felt this warm fuzzy feeling in your heart in a while. it felt so nice. you didn’t want it to end. but then noya interrupted your thought by saying,
“Hey, (y/n)..” you two were on a first name basis already and it was just the first date. “it’s getting pretty late and I have to go home and help out my family with some stuff. I hope you don’t mind. Sorry! But we can definitely go out again if you want. i know i sure do..”
“Yes, of course! I totally get it. But first can I get your number?” you look away as you say this because this was the first time you’ve ever asked a guy for their number.
you two exchange phone numbers and hug goodbye. you let the hug linger for a little longer than you should and plant a quick soft peck on his cheek and say,
“I can’t wait to see you again, Yuu.”
He just smiles and replies, “Me too, Y/n. I’ll see you again soon, babe.”
You freeze up and don’t know what to say as he walks away. you think to yourself, “did he really just call me babe?”
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thanks to my lovelies @redrattlers and @bandsanitizer for the tag! so here's 30 questions to get to know me better hsjskak
I'll be tagging @notinthesameguey @kaleidoscopeminds @angiefangirlworld-2 @calmfolklore <3
name/nickname: camila, cami
gender/pronouns: female, she/her
star sign: libra babyyy
height: 158 cm (a little below 5'2)
time: 11:55 pm lol
birthday: october 10th (10/10 ;) I'll stop now bye)
favorite band(s): *inhales* 5sos, one direction, chase atlantic, little mix, the 1975, queen, maroon 5, fall out boy, caifanes, camila, emotional oranges, the band camino, panic! at the disco, onerepublic, years & years
favorite solo artist(s): *inhales again* every 1D solo career and ashton deserved a place here 😌 but also taylor swift, bad bunny, ariana grande, bruno mars, ava max, ed sheeran, halsey, yungblud, dua lipa, the weeknd, melanie martinez, shawn mendes, mali-koa
song stuck in my head: people by the 1975
last movie: a spanish one called durante la tormenta (I think its translation is mirage)
last show: currently re-watching the walking dead lol
when did I make this blog: I think somewhere in 2015 but I didn't use it as much until almost three years ago
what I post: mostly 5sos but whatever obsession I'm fixating at the moment :)
last thing I googled: the spanish band mago de öz
other blogs: nope, only this one
do I get asks?: not that often hsksksj
why I chose this url: mmm because I seriously am in way too many fandoms to keep count lol music, movies, tv shows u name it and I didn't wanted to label myself to just one so yeah
following: 112
followers: 61 yay
average hours of sleep: lately like 6?¿ yeah but with 7 I'm fine
lucky number: always been 4
instruments: I loooove the saxophone, the violin and would like to learn how to play guitar :)
what am I wearing rn: my dad's old t-shirt I use as pjs and gray socks
dream trip: I'd go to either london or greece uwu
favorite foods: tacos of whatever u can think of lol pozole is high up there as well and some good old pizza
nationality: mexican 🇲🇽
favorite song: rn it's venus as a boy by björk
last book read: catching fire by suzanne collins
top three fictional universes: marvel, the walking dead and the office 🤠✌🏻
favorite color: blue and all it shades 😌💙
If u made it this far, ily
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1-100 >:DDDD REVENGE!!!
FELIXXXXXXXXXXXX >:(( 1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? -spotify 2. is your room messy or clean? -it’s pretty messy i guess 3. what color are your eyes? -blue and grey
4. do you like your name? why? -yeah it’s fine 5. what is your relationship status? -single 6. describe your personality in 3 words or less -certified intrusive thot 7. what color hair do you have? -brown and rn it’s red 8. what kind of car do you drive? color? -i dont have a car 9. where do you shop? -hot topic, goodwill, target 10. how would you describe your style? -comfy emo 11. favorite social media account -of mine, probably discord or youtube 12. what size bed do you have? -twin >:(( 13. any siblings? -i have 1.5 brothers 14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? -probably vancouver, idk canada seems lit 15. favorite snapchat filter? -i like the one with devil horns and a tail but its cute 16. favorite makeup brand(s) -i dont wear makeup 17. how many times a week do you shower? -i used to shower every day, but i dont do anything that gets me dirty so like maybe 3 times but if i leave the house then i shower 18. favorite tv show? -stranger things 19. shoe size? -8 or 9 20. how tall are you? -5′6 with shoes >:(( 21. sandals or sneakers? -sneakers wtf 22. do you go to the gym? -lol no 23. describe your dream date -making some pie or something together and then eating the pie and then sitting on some rooftop looking at stars 24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? -quite a bit actually but i’m saving up for a phone lol so soon it will be like maybe 10 dollars lmao 25. what color socks are you wearing? -not wearing socks but the ones i had earlier were white (ankle length) 26. how many pillows do you sleep with? -just one but it sucks 27. do you have a job? what do you do? -NO BUT IM TRYING TO GET A JOB BUT THE FUCKIN PEOPLE THERE ARE GHOSTING ME AND WONT REPLY TO MY EMAILS SO LIKE SBJHBJS 28. how many friends do you have? -like 4 lmao 29. whats the worst thing you have ever done? -idk nothing super bad but i do a lot of small shit that makes me feel guilty when i realize what i did 30. whats your favorite candle scent? -juniper rosewood 31. 3 favorite boy names -leo, clay, charlie 32. 3 favorite girl names -ivy, uh... idk thats all ive got 33. favorite actor? -no clue 34. favorite actress? -no clue 35. who is your celebrity crush? -not a celeb but i’d smash danny phantom 36. favorite movie? -nightmare before christmas or edward scissorhands 37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? -no, but my fav book is probably the prince and the pauper? idk 38. money or brains? -CASH MONEYYYY jk probably brains but if your entire personality is being “smart” like fuck off lmao 39. do you have a nickname? what is it? - a bunch of people call me son (see #49, #100), some call me rat, dumdum, goth boy
40.how many times have you been to the hospital? -just once i think when i was birthed. i also went once with my brother cause he kicked some scissors i left out on the floor and it sliced his toe the fuck open and he needed stitches and i watched him get the stitches and almost passed out :/ 41. top 10 favorite songs -please dont make me do this i dont have it in me 42. do you take any medications daily? -yea i take 20mg of vyvanse but i need to get it raised to 30 cause 20 is Not Enough 43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) -i got some dry fuckin skin yall dont even know 44. what is your biggest fear? -it depends. the dark is a pretty constant one though 45. how many kids do you want? -like 2 or 3 eventually 46. whats your go to hair style? -in my face, looking stupid 47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) -it’s pretty small 48. who is your role model? -i dont fuckin know lmao 49. what was the last compliment you received? - “i belive in you, my son, you’re an amazing human being“ (same friend mentioned in #100, not actually a parent of mine) 50. what was the last text you sent? -”no it’s a raccoon“ YOU GET NO CONTEXT LMAO 51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? -i dont think i ever hardcore believed in him, maybe i did though i remember sleeping under the tree one christmas eve waiting for him but i was like “oh yeah that makes sense“ i guess 52. what is your dream car? -i honestly dont give a shit as long as it actually fucking works 53. opinion on smoking? -cigarettes? fuck no that’s nastyyy. weed? that’s fine i guess but wait till you’re like 18. 54. do you go to college? -no. am sophomore n highschool 55. what is your dream job? -musician/palentologist 56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? -fuck the suburbs lmao, but also im tired of rural, so like.. semi urban?? 57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? -no but i take the little soaps >:)) 58. do you have freckles? -yes 59. do you smile for pictures? -awkwardly, yes 60. how many pictures do you have on your phone? -dont have a phone but i have like 12 on my computer currently. 4 are of me, the rest are of my cat or random shit 61. have you ever peed in the woods? -yes 62. do you still watch cartoons? -cartoons these days kinda suck but like if they were good fuck yeah i would like gravity falls can come hang yknow? 63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? -i had nuggets from mcdonalds today so i guess them? i dont really care 64. Favorite dipping sauce? -i got sweet and sour but i dont like it that much. that schezuan sauce was great 65. what do you wear to bed? -wouldnt you like to know? ;)) 66. have you ever won a spelling bee? -NO ive only been in two. the first one i misspelled the word “turmoil“ cause i had never heard it before and the second one i spelled the word “owed“ as “ode“ cause i was thinking like ode to joy and then i felt like a big Fool afterwards :(( 67. what are your hobbies? -lol what hobbies 68. can you draw? -i am physically able to draw, but not well, no 69 (haha). do you play an instrument? -yeah i play a few 70. what was the last concert you saw? -i saw Chicago in either georgia or tennessee i cant remember in like 2016 71. tea or coffee? -hot coffee, iced tea. NOT the other way around. (i love both though) 72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? -starbucks 73. do you want to get married? -sure why not 74. what is your crush’s first and last initial? -dont have a crush 75. are you going to change your last name when you get married? -idk maybe 76. what color looks best on you? -i dont know but i wear black a lot and that’s pretty dope 77. do you miss anyone right now? -yeah 78. do you sleep with your door open or closed? -closed 79. do you believe in ghosts? -on the fence. not 100% “oh my god look at these gHoSt oRbS i need to sage my house!!!“ but i accept that there’s some things i wont understand about the world and that i have no answers to. i wouldnt be surprised if there are, and i wouldnt be surprised if there aren’t. 80. what is your biggest pet peeve? -whatever my adhd decides i viscerally hate with a firey passion right at that moment 81. last person you called -my brother (the 1 of the 1.5 from #13 and the one who sliced his toe in #40) 82. favorite ice cream flavor? -chocolate is dope 83. regular oreos or golden oreos? -regular double stuff. if you say golden, mint, peppermint, or thin oreos i’m gonna have to euthanize you, i dont make the rules. 84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? -rainbow cause it’s prettier 85. what shirt are you wearing? -queen shirt from hot topic 86. what is your phone background? -i didnt get a phone between question 60 and now but my computer one is some mountains with the moon in the background 87. are you outgoing or shy? -really depends on who i’m around 88. do you like it when people play with your hair? -YES FUCK AAAAAAA (this girl played with my hair literally once in middle school and i was like oh shit and i had a crush on her until the end of middle school true story,,, so ashley if you’re out there-) 89. do you like your neighbors? -to the left they’re fine and their dog is nice but idk what happened to the horses so that’s sus but that’s where our cat came from so they can hang guess, behind me they’re fine but their boys are loud, to the right they’re fine, and even further to the right are the dope neighbors and waaaaaaaaaay far to the right is a llama and he’s dope as hell 90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? -whenever the fuck i remember to/have the energy 91. have you ever been high? -i dont think so but i wouldnt put it past myself 92. have you ever been drunk? -not that i can remember, no 93. last thing you ate? -sloppy joe from a can 94. favorite lyrics right now -”not gonna waste my life, cause i’ve been fucked up“ 95. summer or winter? -fall. fuck you 96. day or night? -night but i like it when it’s actually night and it doesnt get dark at like 4 fucking pm cause that makes me depressed 97. dark, milk, or white chocolate? -dark is good, milk is fine, white is only suitable for fancy stripes on chocolate covered strawberries 98. favorite month? -i vibe with september 99. what is your zodiac sign -sagittarius (was almost a scorpio but i was holding out >:))) 100. who was the last person you cried in front of? -in person, my mom like 6 months ago, on a discord call, my friend (i love you by the way, you’re the best,,, i dont think he has tumblr but im just putting it out there) like a month or so ago. i hate crying in front of people, i turn into such a hyperventilating snot monster which is not suitable for human gaze and thats the real tea :/
felix this took like 2 hours of my life i will never get back i hate you and i hope you’re happy with what you’ve done <3 <3
also anyone who wants to stalk me, enjoy this information that im handing to you on a silver platter :)) <3
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