#its kinda sickening tho

[girlsleeping]

I'm only on like episode 7 of House of the Dragon but can I just say... the amount of people Daemon murdered just to marry his fucking niece...

[sieglinde-freud]

idk how in 2024 ppl still playing vanilla awakening like i gotta make these bitches gay. im pairing the second gen girlies and by god. none of them should be paired with a man. these ladies are GAY and good for them. not my fault intsys couldnt see that in 2012 but i can now and i WILL do them justice

[tenrose]

I hate living in this world.

[dollfacerecs]

— min ⋆ yoon ⋆ gi

myg fic recommendation list by clover. 🍀 ↓

♡ = smut ; ♤ = angst ; ♧ = fluff ; ♕ = favorite

main list

♢ vows ; ♡, ♤, ♕ // completed — by @hamsterclaw

⇝ arranged marriage, enemies to lovers // i’ve read this a few times and i love it sm. don’t forget to go to yoongi’s masterlist to find the drabbles to this (scroll down till u see vows and u’ll see all the drabbles)

♢ monachopsis ; ♡, ♤ // series — by @personasintro

⇝ husband’s brother, sperm donor // yoongi is so fucking hot in this holy shit. imagine your husband begging his estranged brother to donate his sperm and the brother’s only condition is that he gets to fuck you raw. hello????? i love mimi so much man shes such a sickening author.

♢ away from you ; ♡, ♤ // series — by @personasintro

⇝ shitty marriage, second chance // i love the development, the angry sex, the makeup sex, the dialogue, the interactions. just chefs kiss. + dilf(asshole)!yoongi like whats not to laugh.

♢ 3 tangerines ; ♡, ♤, ♧ // series — by @kithtaehyung

⇝ big brother’s best friend, fwb // ughh such a good fic. i still need to catch up but everything up to what i read is outstanding. so sneaky :p

♢ cybersex ; ♡, ♤ // one-shot — by @gimmethatagustd

⇝ callgirl, big brother’s best friend // again, brother’s best friend au I KNOWWW but trust me guys. oooooof when yoongi finds out the girl he’s been having phone sex with is YOU i was punching my walls.

♢ look down on me like that ; ♡, ♤ // series — by @here2bbtstrash

⇝ producer!yoongi, enemies to lovers // so fuckin good. the tension, the pining i kinda went crazy over this one. i still need to finish tho so no spoilers

♢ take five ; ♤, ♧ // completed — by @jiminrings

⇝ dermatologist!yoongi, co-workers // guys when i tell you this tickles my brain so good. the yearning and the stubbornness from both sides UGHH. i love this sm

♢ yoongi’s lullaby ; ♤ // one-shot — by @jiminrings

⇝ soulmates, unrequited love // if ur looking for pure angst just read this tbh

♢ perpetual datejust ; ♤, ♧ // one-shot — by @jiminrings

⇝ model!yoongi, mutual pining // again… just angst. pain. love it tho.

♢ in the darkest little paradise ; ♡ // drabble — by @sunnebeam

⇝ gangster!yoongi, sexworker!reader // just some good ole pwp. who doesn’t like gangster!yoongi pwp tho like….

♢ after hours ; ♡, ♤, ♧ // ongoing — by @archivedkookie

⇝ basketballcaptainfuckboy!yoongi, unrequited love // guys like the angst is so heartwrenching the way reader is so pathetically in love w him and he’s just nonchalant in everything he does UGHHH pls read its saur gewd.

♢ pending…

[cl00udyyanan]

HII! could i req a cyno x reader, he gets jealous or somth? 🙁 idek i just want cyno.,😭😭😭🙁🙁🙁🙁😭‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

i don't know much about cyno so pls forgive if this is ooc

sickening gaze

synopsis: tighnari has all of your attention while you help him, and cyno is feeling some type of way

warning: jealousy, slight possesion maybe, cyno being rude abt tigharni, tighnari lowkey hitting on your

characters: cyno x reader, tigharni

notes: cyno is so petty in this like hello,, i hope this came out okay i enjoyed writing this. it was either tigharni or alhathaim but, i didn't feel like keeping up with writing two pessimistic characters. tighnari kinda out of place tho im on cyno’s side

IM SORRY THIS IS BAD

•┈୨♡୧┈•

with eyes trained onto you like a hawk, the general mahamatra was shooting daggars from his irises, cursing both you and tighnari. cyno was leant against a tall tree, bark poking into his back, arms crossed and biting his lip. he was hiding behind the lush greenery wanting nothing more than to leave this damn forest and just take you home; to have you all alone with you only focused on him. tighnari was hunched over on the ground, an arm loosely splayed on your back with his other holding a small roll of bandages. whilst walking with your boyfriend, you had ran into tighnari with a little bunny who was bleeding so you had offered to help. you took the bandaids from him and rolled it around the white furred creature, he cooed at the animal softly as you did so.

"who knew you were so sweet with such creatures?" tighnari spoke as he pet the bunny, trying to get it to relax. his curious gaze came to face you. you let out a small chuckle.

"oh... you know, i had a couple bunnies growing up so i guess i know some things." you looked up to him, wide eyed, "its kinda weird how often you come across injured bunnies."

"is that so? well no wonder, you’re as cute as this one here..." his hand went from the small bunny to your chin, lifting your face towards him with a whisk of his finger.

cyno could kill him with no remorse, the way tighnari was touching you so comforting should be illegal. how could he be so okay with doing such a thing in front of him?

this was supposed to be a nice walk in the forest with just you and him, he was finally mustering the courage to hold your hand and here you were cuddle and google eyed with this dope. of course cyno didn't say anything, as you were helping a poor bunny and he didn't want to seem possessive. yet when his own friend touched you so tenderly he had an urge to pull out his pole arm and smack his fox friend on the head with it.

you patched the creature up, and tighnari held him in his arms like a small baby. he heard a grunt that he had looked up over to the white hair man sulking over by a long tree. cyno's brown cheeks were a dark shade and his red eyes were staring down at the grass. his foot grazing the ground back and forth idley. the archer turned to you, watching you dust the loose grass and sand off of your knees before he spoke,

"whats wrong with him?" he asked quietly. you looked up, head waving back and forth before you landed on your boyfriend who imitated that of a child casted away in the corner. you shrugged and tapped tigharni on the shoulder, telling him you'd be back.

cyno saw your shadow approaching him from the grass, he kept his eyes down, refusing to look you in the face. his breathing became irregular and his stomach felt like it was swirling up a concoction. you stood infront of him, a mischevious smile on you face before you lent down to get in his point of view.

"cyno?" you quipped, waving your hand in his face, he snapped his head away, pointing to the other direction. oh, so he wants to catch an attitude. "fine, i'll just spend the rest of my walk with tighnari." you whirled away, not letting his petty feelings bother you, but before your fore foot could even land to the ground, the snow haired boy grabbed your wrist and pulled you to him, "no." he said softly, his ruby eyes peering softly at yours.

he held you for a while, not saying anything. slightly embarassed, you turned back around to find your friend, seeing he got the picture and had distanced himself away, playing with the bunny. cyno grabbed your chin and pulled it to him, "why do you keeping seeking him, focus on me." you laughed at him, was he getting all this worked up over tighnari, really?

"sweetie, calm down okay? it snothing like that i swear, he's your friend don't be like that. you haven't even said hi to him this whole time."

"he doesn't deserve it." he muttured as he got from the tree with you hand in his, slightly tugging it like he’s trying to get you to start walking in the other direction. you let him take you, considering your work with tighnari was done with, though you felt bad to leave him with no parting words.

cyno had taken you deep into the forest, before he stopped suddenly. he leaned into your face, eyes pondering yours. he pulled your hand to rest on his shoulder as he wrapped his hand around your waist, bringing you in by the middle of your back, kissing your plush cheeks.

“whats wrong with you?”

“..you smell like him.” he pouted, hands prancing along your jawline, as he continued to smother you with his lips

“you’re so weird.”

“im weird? i thought i was cyno.”

you bit your lips, holding back a chuckle because that joke was not funny at all. yet you fell a victim to him when his gentle eyes looked at you so lovingly. even the worst of his jokes could get you to crack this way. he softly placed his lips on yours, taking in your sweet scent. he looked into your eyes softly, his cheeks still flushed.

“...you love me?” he muttured.

“of course i do...” nuzzling into his chest, taking in his warm scent of sand, wood and musk. strong built arms carressing your lower back, pulling you into him ever so tight, like if he let you go, you’d slip away. 

“good” he pecked your forehead, resting his chin upon the crown of your head. you relished in this sweet moment in his arms, knowing that all though he can be a bit rash, he only loves you so.

little did you know he was wide eye staring at tighnari from a mile way, the two of them swearing eachother out with only eyes alone. how sweet.

[abs-2020]

=Monster=

Pt.6

I(Avatar)Colonel Miles Quaritch x Na’vi Reader

HOW MANY MORE PARTS DO YALL WANT??

Warnings: SMUT/18+/violence/choking/pinning/overstimulation/heavy topics/Dirty talk/Virginity Loss/knife play maybe/size kink/SMUT/Stockholm Syndrome/abuse/this chapter has issues/angst/

P.S. uuuh stuff spoken in Na’vi is Italic and stuff readers thinking is blue

Summary: This takes place in ATWOW Aaand you’re neytiris older sister, and you get captured in order to save jakes children and spider. <3

Authors note: this might be the last chapter, it might not. Kinda just want to follow mostly with the movie but not at the same time. Uuuh yeah. This chapter is kinda sad tho maybe idk. BUT ITS FINALLY OUT someone applaud me :,)

———————————————————————————-

“PUT ME DOWN!” You’d yell your voice cracking from how much pain you were in.

“I guess, If that’s what you want.” a silky voice would fill your ears. Miles voice. Your eyes would shoot open at his voice.

“Mile-“ a gasp would cut your words short as you were let go, miles hands untangling from your hair.

You’d scream as you fell through the air closing your eyes once again bracing for impact. Only this time you didn’t hit water. You hit rock. Stone. ‘Demon ship’ Something hard. A crack would fill your ears as your side hit the floor of the ship deck signifying something had broken. The pain caused Another sickened scream to leave your mouth as you clutched at your side pain shooting through your whole body. ‘Get up’ your mind shouted at you as you desperately scurried from your ball on the floor to your two shaky legs. Your eyes would fill with fear as you looked around and scurried to the Edge of the ship. Another screech would fill your ears as an ikran landed right in front of you the beasts breaths strong and frantic as the wind from its wings caused your wet hair to whip around. Quickly you’d dart to the side trying to make a desperate escape. An escape from prison. But this Time miles jumped infront of you. But this wasn’t your miles. This was a different miles. A darker miles. A miles with a sinister look plastered onto his face. A miles with revenge radiating from his body. A miles with a smirk full of terrible intent. A miles with flaring nostrils. a miles with a tent in his pants. An actual monster. Your ears would fall back as you made eyes contact with your mate, his eyes would soften. But only for a second.

“Found you princess.”

Miles would lick his canines agonizingly slow as his hulking frame stood between you and freedom. ‘Monster.’ Filled your mind as you stared into his frenzied eyes. Slowly you got into a stance your tail whipping back and fourth as you and your mate faced off.

“You look like shit.” Miles would coo earning a chuckle from himself. You never understood his humor. “Weak, fragile…” miles would trail off. “…you look like prey.. my prey.” Miles tone would drop an octave his last words more sinister than anything you’ve heard as He bared his teeth and widened his yellow eyes.

Your ears would fall back as your heart seemed to crash against you chest. ‘Run’ was the only thing your instincts screamed and you did. You darted to the side your weak and malnourished body taking you as fast and as far as it could. In a rush you’d turn a corner only to be met with a blue fist. A ‘wham” would fill the air as the blue fist collided with your face. More pain shorting through your body. You wished you were numb as You saw stars your body falling back as your face recoiled with the fist hitting the floor with a loud ‘thud’. Panic would fill your senses. ‘Miles couldn’t have gotten there that fast’ you thought as you tried your best to open your now sore and watery eyes. Your nose was burning and you felt a hot liquid pour down your blue and pain filled face the warm liquid falling into you agape mouth. Blood it was blood. You could tell by the tastes of taste the warm, metallicy, copper substance as it pooled down your face.

“Finally, never thought I’d get the chance to get the bitch back.” Z-Dog would boast ego radiating off her body as she stepped onto your shoulder. You’d do nothing but hiss as you continued to blink your eyes still trying to recover from the punch.

as your vision finally cleared you’d look up to the blue demon. And you’d smirk as you spit the blood from your mouth onto her boots in a stoic act. But behind the brave act you were panicking on the inside. Everting was running 1000 miles an hour. You could feel your body fatiguing by the second as your side throbbed with each strained breath you took. Your face throbbed as well. You mind raced you had so many questions and pleads. Your gut felt sick and you felt slimy and sweaty. You wondered about the kids and Jake and Netyiri. Kiri. Everything was spinning as you stoically looked up to the blue demon.

“I don’t know, you’re the one with the scar on your face.” You’d blast back as you stared at the scar on her cheek. The scar from your dagger back on the helicopter. A smirk would plaster your blue face as you Ran the back of your hand against the blood oozing from your nose smearing the red liquid.

“Fucking bitch!” Z-dog would bark as she grabbed a knife from its holster and knelt down to your level placing the cool blade against your cheek in a harsh manner. You sucked in a harsh breath at the action acting as stoic as you could. But with her knife so close to your face everything closed in as she spayed her words with a venom you were familiar with. “You want one? I’ll give you one. And I’ll make sure it’s the ugliest thing you’ve ever seen. I’ll make sure every time you wake up and look in the mirror that you remember my face.” Z-dog spit her words. Like actually spit them her droplets or Silvia paining your face. It had your ears falling back in disgust and cringe.

“We don’t have mirrors.” You’d laugh sarcastically as you stared into the blue females eyes. You were testing her. Playing with your life and “beauty”

an angered noise would fill the air as she pressed the knife into your cheek the blade digging into your soft and blue flesh with ease. You felt the blade dig into your skin causing blood to trickle from another place on your body. You’d hiss at the pain that burned your skin as she slowly dragged the knife against your skin inching closer and closer to your neck. Then out of no where a panic would set in and you’d whine in fear as you attempted to push Z-dog off of you. Panic. Panic rang through you as your ears fell back and your breathing became frantic. Alarms rang through you as you continued to try and push the crazed demon off of you. Then you’d yell.

“M-MILES! My love!” You didn’t know where the words came from. But a part of you needed him. Needed him to save you from the female above you even though you could easily save yourself. You needed him.

A deep and forbidding chuckle from behind you would have z-dog and her actions halting in an instants her blade frozen and lodged into the bottom half of your cheek. Her eyes would fill with a fear as she looked down at you her body now stiff and frozen. ‘Miles’ you wanted to turn your head to look at the man but the bald lodged into your cheek kept you from doing so. So you waited.

“Touch (Y/N) ever again Z, and I’ll make sure it’s the last thing you do.” Miles loud and thundering steps were heard from behind you as his hand shot into your vision. He reached for Z’s neck once his hand were wrapped around her flesh he’d lift her from you and throw her against a wall with a loud thud. His grip was unforgiving as he squeezed her throat. “Am i clear?” Miles would ask his tone just as unforgiving as his grip on her throat.

All Z-Dog could do was nod as she clawed at his forearm and nodded trying to take air in but failing dismally.

“Good.” Miles would throw z-dog across the the ships deck her body hitting the floor with and harsh thud. “NOW get lost!” Miles would command his voice dominating and booming.

Quickly Z-dog would scurry from the floor like a lost kitten rushing away in a flurry of coughing and panic. Miles booming voice rattled your chest as you slowly raised your upper body from the ships deck doing so caused A pained noise to pass your lips. Miles foot steps thundered from behind you the harshness of the man’s steps causing your ears to shoot back. Aggressively miles would plant his boots on both sides of your body and as he crouched down you were expected to be met with loathing, angry, and venomous eyes. But when your eyes met his big yellow ones. The eyes you fell in love with. You were met with sadness and kindness. It has you audibly gasping and the layers around your icy and stony heart melting and crumbling all at the same time. ‘He’s so beautiful’ was the only thought that now plagued your mind as you stared into your lovers yellow eyes.

Slowly you’d lift your scraped and blood smeared hand to the rough and sweaty cheek of your lover. Of miles. Once your delicate fingers had reached the flesh of his cheek the cold that consumed your body was quickly replaced with warmth, his warmth. Warmth you’d only ever find from him. A warmth that engulfed your body in a flame that you never wanted to burn out. It was a flame that had your thighs clenching and core aching.

“My love.” You’d whisper when he rested his forehead against yours causing both of you to close your eyes as you inhaled each other scents both of your ears falling back at the long lost contact.

You finally felt alive. After being dead for so long you finally felt alive. Miles brought color back to your full life. Mikes saved you. Yet again. He saved you again. And the thought had a sob leaving your throat as you clawed at the back of his vest trying to pull him as close to you as you possibly could. Miles would melt into your touch his tail wrapping with yours before he pulled both of you to your feet caging you in his strong arms. The arms you loved. Again you’d sob, as you dug your claws into the back miles vest.

“I’m so sorry.” You’d finally break. You’d finally let it slip. “I’m so sorry my love…” you’d choke a sob back as you spoke. “My love, I did not mean it. I did not mean what I said. I did not mean it. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry miles, I’m so sorry.” You’d chat your words “you are not a monster, you are not him. You are not a monster. You are my love. You are the fire to my flame, you are the rider to my ikran, you are the Na’vi to my Ewya, you are the light to my dark, you are my everything. But you are not a monster miles.” You’d squeeze miles tighter with each word you spoke.

You didn’t want to let go. You wouldn’t. Miles would squeeze you just as tight as you were him. a sob would fill the air. But it wasn’t your sob. It was miles. ‘Miles is crying’ your heart broke at the pained and saddened sound coming from your lovers lips. It had you pulling yourself from his grip so you could get a good look at him. Hastily you’d bring both of your hands to each side of his face and observe the blue Avatar infront of you. Concern painted your tired and rough skin when another sob left his throat. Miles would lean into your touch placing his hands on top of yours gently rubbing your skin.

Silence would fill both of your ears each of you sitting and waiting in anticipation. Until mikes finally broke. Tears falling from his yellow eyes, his grip on your hands turning rough and possessive his sobs filling the air as he shoved his head into the croak of your neck and shoulder. Seeing the stoic man break infront of you, because of you, had you joining him. Both of you cried and sobbed into the air your noises of pain and sadness but also joy and relief filling each others ears.

Miles would plant a wet and shaky kiss to the nape of your neck in a soothing manner. His lips on your skin causing a forgotten flame to flicker.

“I forgive you.” Miles would plant another wet and shaky kiss to your collar bone. “I’ll forgive you a thousand times if I have to.”

Miles would bring his hands to your now damp hair, tangling all 10 of his digits into your locks pulling your head back in a gentle manner so his eyes could meet with yours once again. Both of your cheeks were dried of your own tears your eyes red and puffy. As you stared into miles yellow eyes one of his palms would gently stroke the back of your head the other going to massage your shoulder. Miles would then pucker his lips as he stared at you an emotion you couldn’t quite catch glimpsing past his eyes.

“Oel ngati kameie princess”

Your eyes would widen at Miles words. Your heart fluttering at the words he just spoke.

“Oel ngati kameie” you’d respond back with an innocent and loving smile lifting your hand to his cheek. “Oel ngati kameie my love”

“You we’re lost without me.” Miles comment had you scoffing and your ears falling back. And all miles would do is ‘tut’ “it’s obvious (Y/N). You look dead.”

Again you’d scoff. But you knew it was true. Even Kiri said so.

“I was lost without you yes, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have been able to live without y-“

Mikes Would cut you off his hand going to your mouth and his ears falling back in agitation as a scowl crossed his face. ‘He didn’t want me to finish that sentence’ your own ears would fall back at his actions.

“You we’re lost, and I’ve found you again. You’re never going to get lost again. Ever.” Miles tone was possessive and dominating his hand moving from your mouth to your chin gripping it with his fingers harshly.

Slowly, agonizingly slow, miles would pull you in for a kiss you easily complying closing your eyes before your lips even met. But, as all good this come to an end before you two could kiss the yell of a man and the screech of an ikran would have your eyes shooting open, ears perking, and you turning your head your chin escaping from Miles harsh grip to see what the commotion was about.

“Oh great mother…” the words would leave your mouth in an agonized whisper your jaw dropping at the sight before you.

‘Lo’ak, Tuk, Tsireya..’ the three kids were all stuck in a net getting throw onto the ships deck by and Ikran and one of Miles friends. An yell would leave your throat as you pulled yourself away From miles running to the children in an attempt to help them. ‘I’m so stupid. I had one job, I was supposed to protect them’ your ears would fall back at the thought as you ran for the kids your legs shaky and side throbbing.

“LO’AK!” You’d yell to the boy announcing your presence.

His head would snap in an instant. He looked at you with hope. And it brought a sense of relief to you as you dashed to the net. But the hole in lo’ak’s eyes slowly turned to distraught everything suddenly moving in slow motion as you reached for the children each step seeming to get slower and slower. Closer and closer. That was until five far too familiar digits tangled themselves into your hair yanking you back into a brick wall, which so happens to be Mikes chest with a matter of ease. A gasp would leave your throat at the harsh tug.

“They can’t be here!” You’d plead to Miles his grip in your hair tightening as he looked down at you. A hard and harsh scowl now plastering his once soft face. His eyes were full of anger as he looked down at you. It made your gut sink. ‘How can someone switch up so quickly’

Your eyes would water ‘this isn’t how he’s supposed to hold me, this isn’t how he’s supposed to look at me.’ Your ears and tail would drop at the thought as a pout formed onto your face. Miles would look down at you his ears falling back once his eyes Met yours. It would catch him off guard causing him take in a long and stoic breath as he puckered his lips looking away from you.

“G-Good work Mansk” Miles informed the Avatar in sunglasses the avatars ego only seeming to get bigger. “Now..” miles would take in a long and dramatic breath “let’s get them tied up. It’s time to finally get what we came here for.” ‘Jake’

It finally set it, he was here for jake. That’s been his whole plan weather he actually loved you or not. It was to get to Jake. And that made your heart break. Shatter. It made your heart shatter into a million pieces your gut filling with dread and self hate.

Somewhere along the way of the kids screaming at miles and the men holding them hostage and screams at you and for you to save them and help them filled your ears with a constant ringing, You had completely zoned out it everything around you fading into black as miles man handles you towards the ships railing cuffs in his hands the clanging of the metal restraints seeming to bring you back to a gasp leaving your throat as you did so everything burning back to life.

“NO- my LOV- MILES STOP! This is not right!! Revenge is a path that will only lead to self hate!” You’d cry out your words your voice cracking every so often as you fumbled with Miles strong and roughs hands tangled in your hair. His grip had your eyes burning, threatening to spill with tears of pain.

An angry grimace would paint Miles blue face, his blue and strong body visibly shaking with annoyance and anger as he threw you with an aggressive shove, strands of your hair catching on his fingers as you flew across the ships deck to Lyle ‘so much for Z-dog not touching me.’ whom had just finished strapping the 3 children. Your responsibility. To the ships railing. Miles actions had your heart breaking even more, each piece which was already shattered shattering into even more little bits making seem like it was never to be fixed and put back together. A heart broken cry would leave your lips as Lyle gripped your wrists and chained you to the ships deck.

“Did I not mean anything to you?” You croaked out your words, your head hanging low hair dropping over your face. You couldn’t meet miles eyes. You just couldn’t.

Unbeknownst to you Miles body would visibly stiffen his face now painted with shock and hurt. The three children’s ears perking at your words, heads turning as they listened to the conversation to the right of them as Lyle dismally walked away from the drama.

“(Y/-N) I-I crave yo-“

“Was everything a joke to you? Was I a joke?” You’d shoot your head up finally meeting mikes gaze your pulpils small the yellow of your eyes taking up most of the color in your eyes. “Was I just a mission to you? Some paper work? WAS I JUST SOME PAWN IN YOUR GAME TO GET TO JAKE SULLY AND MY LOVED ONES?” You’d pull on your restraints you’d body radiating anger and hatred

Miles would take a few stumbles steps back at your words, each syllable having seemed to throw an invisible jab in his direction. Miles ers had fallen all the way back his tail running string between his legs in shock and fear. His hand would reach out to you in an attempt to stop or seize your actions.

“P-Princess calm down.. I-I…”

You’d cut him off with a bark

“You changed me! I gave you everything I had, I showed you the way of our people and I taught you our language and I did that out of love, love for you! I don’t even know who I am anymore miles! I want my life back…” sobs would leave your throat as you continued your tantrum. “I mated with you, I mated with you before Ewya and you just- you just ended up using me for some mission. You used me for a mission, so why would you have even said you loved me? Can’t you see how fucked up that is?” Vigorously you’d strain of your restraints wanting to tackle miles and claw his eyes out.

A sniffle would fill the air as you stared into miles yellow, honey colored eyes tears spilling from yours.

“I trusted you.”

Miles mouth was agape as he stared back into your eyes his body now stuff like stone, rigid and stuck in one place.

“If you hate being called a monster then why act like one miles? You aren’t him. You aren’t a monster. So why act like one? Why act like one when you could change?!”

Again science would fill the air as you spat and barked your words at miles. Your ears high and alter while his fell backwards trying to avoid as much pain as he possibly could. Then suddenly his body would loosen his joints and muscles turning to liquid as he took in a deep breath through his nose his lips puckering as he did so. He’d close his eyes as his ears rose his fists white and tail whipping through the air. The change in body language had you sucking in your breath awaiting his next words or moves. Then he’d speak,

“Alright..” miles would pull a knife, your old knife from his utility belt flipping the blade right side up slowly stalking over to you his steps loud and purposeful.

Lo’ak and Tuk along with Tsireya would all scream at him as he stalked towards you with the knife pulling against their restraints like mad men the clangs and screams filing your ears.

Each step miles took had your ears falling back lower and lower your tail whipping in anticipation of what was to come once the blue alien finally reached you.

“You wanna come at me??..” miles would bark his voice seeming to rattle the earth as he spoke. “then come at me sweetheart!” Miles would bring the knife to the cuffs on your wrist catching the blade on the metal that held the two cuffs together only to break the chains with a loud clang(s) as each little piece hit the floor.

Miles would grab your arm and throw you to the middle of the ships deck. This caused Lo’ak to scream.

“Get your hands off of her!” Each syllable of his was filled by the sound of a pull on his restraints.

“Mawey, Lo’ak, Mawey. Mawey children.” Your voice was calm as you looked to the eyes of the Children infront of you.

Painstakingly you’d lift yourself from the floor a grimace plastering your face as you gripped your side pain shooting through the left side of your body. ‘mawey’ you’d take a deep breath as you got yourself in a stance ready to fight the love of your life for what seemed to be the hundredth time. Miles tail would whip as he faced you off your knife still in his hand as he stared you down. Despite his body language his eyes betrayed him. His eyes were sad, and filled with regret as he stared into yours. It made a ghost of a girl plaster your cheeks as you stared back at your lover emotions from earlier still lingering in your veins. And what seemed to be when miles was just about to pounce a beep and static would fill the air as Jake called in through you and Lo’ak’s neck pieces causing miles ears to perk.

“(Y/N), Lo’ak we’re 30 minutes out what’s your position over?” Jakes words would pierce through the silent air which surrounded all of you.

Your hands would reach for your neck piece you actions causing miles to finally pounce towards your form in a hurried and frantic manner, unsuccessfully you’d try to doge the man only to find yourself on the ships cold, hard floor once more pain shooting through your left side once more causing you to choke out in pain and grin your teeth. Miles would gasp at this almost jumping off of your form in panic and worry as his hand cupped your cheek. His eyes said a million words as he looked down at you. He wanted to say something, maybe to apologize, but he didn’t. His eyes did. He’d slowly reach for your neck piece removing ‘the pice of junk’ in your words with ease and strapping it around his own. Then, his gentle and warm fingers would search for your ear piece gently removing the device from your ears and placing it in his own.

Miles would stare into your eyes and take in a shuddered breath as he continued to sit on top of you making sure to keep most of his weight on his feet. Slowly his hand would reach for the neckpiece to contact Jake.

“Well hello there Jake, I think my voice gives you a pretty clear picture of their position. Be here in 30 and I’ll be waiting for ya. And don’t make me regret keeping them and the little one alive. Over.” Miles words were precise and direct as he spoke to Jake.

Then unexpectedly miles would jump from you only to grip your arm once again and pull your body from the floor in a much calmer manner than before. His eyes would meet yours once again as he pulled you towards the inside of the ship your body easily complying with his wants and needs. How could you not when those eyes, his eyes were so patronizing not to obey? The three children would scream for you, you yelling back that ‘I’ll be okay.‘ before you were engulfed into the darkness of the ship, the sun no longer shining.

———————————————————————————

After what seemed like hours of Miles rushing and dragging you around the ship you’d finally stop in front of a door with a sign that read ‘office’. Wasting no time miles would quickly kick the door open and hastily throw the both of you inside.

The room was small, cramped even. It barley had enough height to fit miles you thanking Ewya for being ‘short’ for once in your life. Large and Rushed hands Would pick your weakened and beaten up Form from the floor your toes dangling in the air as your rear end was placed onto a desk. Confusion painted your face as you looked to Miles face. His head low as he rummaged through a few drawers to the right of you a ‘mm’ leaving his mouth once he seemed to find what he was looking for.

You’d shake your head as you looked up at mikes miles

“You’re so bipolar.” Your tone was sharper and more annoyed than intended.

The tone of your words had miles body recoiling away from your words his ears instantly falling backwards as a look of dread crossed his ‘beautiful’ blue face. He was expecting you to scold and yell at him again. Waiting for it in fact. You could tell, it felt so strange to see him act and be so vulnerable. A man everyone knew as a ‘monster’ a man that strived for ‘power’ and ‘dominance’ now shying away from your words as if they were a disease. It made a deep sigh leave your throat. As your ears fell back.

“I- I’m sorry…” you we’re about to apologize, apologize for your tone just now and earlier on the boat but miles shushed you by putting and hand over your mouth.

“No, no (Y/N) you have no right to be sorry. You were right, You’re right about everything. I-I just can’t change. I can’t let this go. This is something I have to finish. The people, those science geeks and Jarheads back at base and earth would never look at me the same if I failed again..” miles trembled whilst speaking the hand covering your mouth shaky and sweaty.

He was obviously going through the same emotions and internal war you had when you had fell in love with him. It made you smile under the big blue and rough hand covering your mouth your lips brushing up against his callouses the contact of lips to skin causing shivers to crawl up your spine. So instead of speaking, you decided in this moment actions would speak louder than words. A small hum would leave your lips as your delicate fingers trailed up miles forearm slowly making their way to the hand that covered your mouth, making sure you kept eye contact with miles whilst you did so. Gently you’d pull his hand from your mouth and flip it around so that the back of his hand was now facing you. Miles was watching you intently his eyes solely focusing on where your hands where trailing up his body. His is body having seemed to have gone from rigid to a mix of jello and stone. With that you’d finally, slowly plants soft and delicate kissed to each and every one of miles fingers trailing up and down each digit till satisfied, once feeling satisfied you’d plant a couple more soft and wet kisses to the back of miles hand never once taking your eyes off of miles and his reactions.

The sounds of Miles sucking in a breath would fill you with a sense of pride. Although you weren’t trying to tease him, no, you just wanted to show him how much you loved him. You wanted to ease his mind and calm him. Because either way, whatever he did or whatever path he chose you knew deep down, you’ll always love him. Some part of you somewhere will..

“I’ll always love you miles, no matter what.” ‘No matter what’

With that you’d shut your mouth and remove it from the back of miles hand wrapping your 4 digits with his 5. The feeling of his fingers interlocking with yours filled you with warmth. Gently you’d pull miles to you your free hand finding it’s way to his cheek as you pulled him in for a kiss. A passionate and loving kiss, mikes would reciprocate the action by squeezing your hand in his, his free hand finding your waist caressing your side gently making sure not to injure you any further. Soon your loving kiss would turn into a hot make out both of your hands flying at each other wanting to pull each other as close to one another as possible each of you only pulling away when one of the other needed a breath.

A chuckle would leave miles throat, a string of saliva connecting the two of you breaking as he pulled away. Miles would close his eyes and pur as he rested his forehead against yours. ‘He’s so warm’ was the only thought that filled your mind.

“Let’s get ya some air huh?” Miles would whisper as he pulled a mask from the side of his belt. His free hand pulling a strand of hair behind your ears.

Miles would lift the mask to your face, the action had your ears falling back with unease. You didn’t trust ‘sky people’ things and that had you turning your face away from his mask. Miles would pull the mask back and raise both of his hands in a surrending like manner.

“Hey, hey it’s all right princess. Look I’ll go first.” Miles would coo his words placing a soothing hand on top of your thigh “look..” miles kept eye contact.

Miles would pull the mask to his face making sure to keep eye contact with you the whole time. Once the mask was secure the sound of an inhale would fill the room followed by an exhale. Then miles would chuckle as he took the mask from his face.

“See? It’s all right.”

The hand on your thigh would rub big soothing circles causing goosebumps and warmth to crawl up your flesh. Your ears fell back at the sensation of his touch. Heat running straight to your core. ‘Ewya’ you wish you and mikes could’ve been anywhere else at that moment. Not on this ship, not about to get into a fight with your family and the water clan, anywhere but here. ‘Anywhere but here.’

“Okay.” You’d confirm holding your hand out for miles mask. But he’s only ‘tsk’

“No no princess, let me do it.” Miles would insist, grabbing your hand a placing to your side.

You’d just scoff and roll your eyes accepting your fate.

And miles would grin.

Miles would give you a comforting smile as he placed the mask onto your face continuing to rub soothing circles on your thigh. Once the mask was secure miles would give you a nod, Hesitantly you’d suck in a sharp and shaky breath closing your eyes like a child who was scared. Then you’d exhale. your eyes would shoot open and you’d gash. You’d gasp because you didn’t know just how much you needed that air. And miles would just laugh at your reaction.

“Refreshing ain’t it princess?” Miles would coo yet again only to place a kiss to your forehead.

Slowly you’d wrap your hand around miles neck and pull him too you, and again you wished you could’ve been ‘anywhere but here’ your ears would fall back at the thought as you stared into miles golden yellow eyes. But quickly you’d push the thought out of your mind and close the distance between you and miles yet again. When your lips met everything around you seemed to disappear, that was until the sound of jakes muffled and buzzed out voice filled your ears and miles quickly pulled away from you.

Then his eyes would dart back to yours his hand leaving your old neck piece. And the look he gave you had your gut sinking and mouth speaking before you could process.

“They’re here…”

————————————————/////———

Authors note: I just gotta say gawsh damn this took forever for me to get out. So like sorry about that guys. 😅<3

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.7

@kimqueenofhell @strawberrytodes @esposadomd @kitty-cat-luver @spookyspecterino @vane28282 @Perlious-pasta@Fayenijimura@gayfagdownthestreet @anbanananna @pinkpotatoqueen @witxhy-lexx@perseny@seashelldom@Fairrydairry@Meuw101@Blueberry-thrawn@Blossom618@Liaaaaalove@kadu-5607 @Rayan39@4shbug @Missmokaaa@Tmblersexyw0man@sarcasticrandy @feral-yashiro @Usedcloves@maxinej @hobbledehoy26 @weepingwitchofthewest @afandommultiverse-main @wraith-queen-todd @deltaxgene @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @deliciousdilfmentality@Urmama111@sofiebstar@Tkemaladze@kaiisntokay@Sizzlingdragonfriendprune@Blossom618@creampuffx14 @neteyamsbulletwound @nieshiren @Peggy206@jinx210 @Kenziieeee@dulcetious-phase @kassada @gremlinfuck @starkaye @rdeville @boss-baby-jongho @Bbylime @mad-simp420 @aonungs-tsahik @Sillylovedragon@shuriri4life @Gen-west@Anone01@Marysblogssss@cullenswife @ikranwings @sarcasticrandy @Simp-sarah@rdeville @blue-1505 @willow-sages @leon-090-blog @hangezoes-wife

[supermaks]

hi kit!! i love ur 'oscar is just raikkonen with a button nose' thing, i went insane abt it the first time i read it from u, but i think specifically in terms of team trajectory theres smth that deffo sets them apart. in the sense of like yes in the car theres this sort of zen detachment thats part supercool part creepy and chilling from both of them but one thing thats never left my mind abt raikkonen (as a member of a team, god knows i dont wanna talk abt him as a person) was that one time he couldn't name more than like. 7 people at alfa romeo after being there for 2 years. so like what i mean to say is i think oscar does have more of a human / empathetic side to him that raikkonen lacks (which in general is a good thing n will make him easier to work with) but also it means he Does get attached. and w the way hes been talking abt mclaren (how much he likes 'being wanted' and being appreciated etc) i think team loyalty / a team's treatment of him etc will b a bigger factor in his decision making in the possibility that he has to choose between two seats. which probably does not rival lando's 'im a thoroughly unsentimental person but i have somehow become inextricable from mclaren and like nuclear catastrophe has to happen for me to move teams' thing but yk. id b curious to see how it all plays out

HIII kira 🥰🥰 wait because that kimi lore is crazy .. it kinda fits tho. Ive never truly looked into kimi as a 'person' tbh not outside like the iconic f1 character but I think other than hulkenberg hes prolly the only driver I dont think I wud want to have a single conversation wid. Idk its more of a personal feel but yk seems u know what Im getting at. I c what u mean ab oscar and I think u have a point my comparison was very surface level also idk the driving itself and the way pistachio deals wid strategy calls and how he manages his races very much reminds me of kimi like even his raggedy pace its kinda funny. I do get the sense that Oscar is smart and self sufficient and knows the game hes playing like the whole alpine drama was kinda brutal but he took it in stride. Also true that he seems very happy at the MTC. As a rookie that mclaren stint did wonders for his career and its clear he really gels wid the team and they like him too. Being in that type of transitional environment especially after danny ric bro u truly have to be sure of who u are and what u can offer and Oscar does. Its sickening fr it takes a lot of smarts and a lot confidence. Also hes got a fierce group of people around him, which is SOO important in f1. Lando is a project driver yk he and zak have some type of papaya illness I dont think Oscar has yet but like. It does seem contagious

[nerves-nebula]

HOW DARE YOU make me seriously think about things I’ve long excepted but have not thought about much deeper than surface level because I don’t think I can handle it. DON’T YOU KNOW I’M TOO POOR TO CRY AT WORK?

Srsly tho,, your neglected Raph & Mikey are so familiar to me <33 & Mikey’s whole “I hate Leo for all his perceived perfection & how he gets away with everything” thing makes me sick to my stomach,, THAT’S LOW KEY WHAT MY MIKEY THINKS OF ME! My demeanour is much more Donnie & we weren’t physically abused (just emotionally & religiously or whatever it’s called) so thankfully there’s no fear of physical harm related to it but it’s just,,

One time we were all sibling bonding & my Mikey opened up & started crying,, my other siblings went to comfort them but when I tried to join the sibling pile they started yelling about how much they hate me & don’t want me near them. It wasn’t the first time my younger sibling yelled at me like that but for once I couldn’t just think they wanted space,, it was me specifically they didn’t want. It still happens, & even that time I could never really bring myself to leave them while they were upset, so I always end up just having to listen or even watch my younger sibling cry with the horrible sickening conflict of not wanting them to feel alone but knowing they hate me every second I try to be there for them. (I usually tell them I’ll be close by if they need anything & step into the next room. I know it’s probably not enough but I’m not sure what more I can do)

Is this something Leo will have to face when she starts trying to be a good brother?

yea, there'd definitely be situations like that where they'd rather Leo not be involved, or Leo's presence would be particularly triggering, and it kinda sucks for everyone involved hahhhh.

all children should unionize against their parents but its not equally easy for every family, I guess. parents can really fuck kids over in that department.

unionizing against my parents was easier for us cause we also had the common enemy of my oldest brother (who sucks not just because of what he's done but also because he doesn't care about us or even want to change his behavior) and the ever-looming fact that neither of our parents ever did anything to stop him.

oh but look at me, now I'm the one venting.

point is that yes, that happens, and it makes Leo more and more convinced his brothers would be better off without him. yippee!!

[garpond]

i think its kinda frustrating how on here its not enough for something to just be interesting to you, fascinating even, it has to be like... morally just and righteous and an example for you to follow in your actual life. post one trillion about the subject i think but ive watched the weirdest arguments happen on here in the last few days and even tho i do grasp who the people are that are making them and why they think that i just think it's kinda dumb that they do. if you dont personally get anything out of investigating subjects or pieces of media or etc that evoke themes you consider predominantly negative then sure, nobody's forcing you to investigate them then, but you don't need to like. treat it as an ethical imperative to avoid that stuff at all costs. like... I like 60s and 70s music history. i like reading about the history of grocery and department stores. i like reading about the history of shopping malls. i like reading about sears-roebuck kit houses and other buildings I find interesting. i dont look to any of that stuff to inform me about what's good and just in the world because very obviously investigations of those things will yield subject matter that ranges from vaguely depressing to just plain sickening, depending on what subtopic I'm engaging with. when i'm thinking about this stuff I'm thinking about it as-is and then asking myself how I feel about it. But I do it because I like stimulating my brain and I like facts. Stimulating your brain doesn't have to be a morally challenging activity. It doesn't have to follow any particular set of rules that are set to avoid a hypothetical situation where thinking about the wrong subject has rotted your brain out of your skull and you can't Comprehend Leftism anymore or smth. The truth is most of the stuff I think about and find interesting either doesn't have much of any intrinsic moral quality in particular (animals) or is tinged with some overarching theme of societal ills (let's hear it for the wasteful development habits of big box stores!) This used to bother me when I was younger and the vibe I got online is that what you were interested in said something about you as a person. And that everybody Had to have something "harmless" or better yet "progressive" as a fixation because that's what you did when you were normal and okay to be around and used your brain normally, or as "normally" as we use our brains on websites like Tumblr. But I'm not sixteen or whatever anymore and I largely find the fandom-centric framing of personal interests and hobbies on this site overblown and annoying, and the moralizing "irredeemable media" "problematic interests" "why are you watching Voltron" whatever whatever is probably one of the most annoying facets of it, second in my mind being the "autism is when you have a blorbo" sentiment presented as ubiquitous in the autistic population of the website. You can analyze literally anything you think about thru the lens of your personal values and it's arguably less useful to you overall to try and stick to things where you feel you don't have to do any genuine analysis or try to comprehend how it relates to you and your beliefs

[stretchyyonko]

So I almost done to dressrosa 😀 (Warning: too much cussing due to Trebol the snot a**hole)

It's nostalgic to me watching that dressrosa colosseum fight.

After watching it I suddenly remembered the Grand Magic Games arc of FairyTail.

I'm not comparing it tho it just gave me nostalgic vibes since that fairytail arc was my all time fav arc of fairytail too.

Both are great tho plus the plot twists of tragedy after those games and fights too so it makes sense to me specially that one ngl both made me stressful of how things are going slowly yet its worth the watch if you don't skip the episode.

I'm almost done to dressrosa AND BOI LAW'S DEDICATION TO DIE ALONG WITH LUFFY IS JUST LIKE A PROPOSAL LIKE HELLO?

law really said: if he dies I die too bitch

Not gonna lie dressrosa arc got me more hooked up in the plot of one piece cause of how fucked up doflamingo was and his FUCKING EXECUTIVE TREBOL?! THAT BITCH BETTER DIE HE FUCKING MANIPULATED DOFFY AND LIKE TREAT HIMSELF LIKE A GOD KNOWING HE CANNOT DO THAT HIMSELF.

The way there are hidden dark secrets that city has specially the toys, after they got into one their relatives will kinda forget their whole existence and THE MANIPULATION IS VERY SICKENING TOO 😭.

I wanna hate doflamingo but after that one backstory ( actually I got spoiled by that scene ) THE ONE TO FUCKING HATE IS TREBOL THE SNOT BASTARD, NOT TO MENTION THE DIAMANTE HORSE FACE EXECUTIVE TOO LIKE WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU KILLING SOMEONE ELSE'S MOTHER. But for pica I forgave him due to me wheezing after 1st time hearing his voice LMFAO.

Trebol better die or else I'll kill him myself.

Mingo can go to jail and never go out like a bird in a birdcage.

[mlmxreader]

horangi needs more love

[recipe website esque story begins]

getting back into CoD is and has been a fucking nightmare why is everyone so into mediocre white men (sorry lucky) gaz and horangi and farah are right there please love them instead i have decided to take it upon myself to husband the fuck out of all three and this is my horangi madness

[recipe website esque story ends]

You're not invincible (horangi x m!reader, reader gets injured + lectured?)

You're all doomed (damsel in distress!horangi x knight in shining armor!m!reader)

I am the shadow where there once was light (murdered!horangi x vengeant!m!reader)

u get ONE mcd. as a treat. ONE.

okay but, like, you're so right? like, broadly speaking about the fandom itself of course bc tbh I don't engage with it widely and unlikely will again, but; from what I've seen, when it comes to characters who aren't White (Horangi, Gaz and Farah specifically), they're often brushed aside and treated as lesser by the fandom as a whole. I mean, almost every "141 group" piece of media (fanfic, edits, etc) almost always excludes Gaz and replaces him with König. even tho Gaz has a personality.

even tho Gaz is the protagonist of the games. and it goes further than that, bc like w Horangi, the fandom makes him into some "UWU soft boy who needs Königs attention 247 or else he gets upset uwu" stereotype of Korean men. w Farah, there's just... there's so little content about her but it's almost always somehow either demeaning or erasing the fact that she is canonically a Muslim.

and like, if it was just a one off, a sorta "oh, okay, Gaz isn't in this fic but he's in tens of thousands of others", it'd be less prominent, but the fact remains that the COD fandom has a serious issue with race and cannot and DO NOT treat the characters they claim to "love" NEARLY as well or w as much dignity as they do White ones.

like, people won't even do a quick Google search of what Muslims believe before doing HC lists, and will include things that just simply aren't done by most Muslims. (bc ik you remember THAT hc list that we both saw)

it's sickening, like, when a fandom that calls itself a "community" consistently and constantly aligns itself with racist ideology of which is most often on the side of fetishisation when it isn't on blatant erasure, it kinda loses its right to turn around and say that it's "so inclusive" because it's not. it aligns itself with this liberal ideology that, hey, as long as you're NICE about it, you can be racist!

and obviously I'm not Black, Korean or Arab, but it has to be extremely exhausting, dehumanising and demoralising for people who ARE who have just joined the fandom only to find out that it's so drenched in racism that, if you turn around and you call people out for being racist, you're branded as "needing to go outside".

it's disgusting. like, point blank. it's absolutely vile.

and like, it's VERY similar to ao3 in that the MAJORITY of people who are doing these kinds of things are White Women as well, so OF COURSE they always put on the "I'm innocent I swear!!!" White Woman Tears™ when their behaviour is rightfully addressed, and that only ADDS to the toxic and abusive nature of the cod fandom, bc it makes it unsafe for people who aren't White EVEN MORE.

it's just gross. stop it. stop being fucking racist you ghouls.

anyway. rant over.

╰┈➤ ❝ Texas Chainsaw ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ My Knight ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ The Devil of Haddonfield ❞

[37q]

kinda sickening that digital auto-dictionaries still put the hyphen in email.

why dont we just accept that e- is a linguistic prefix for our current class hegemony's realm of simulacrum? we dont need to act like anything is The Internet Version of a "real" experience anymore, thats like so iPhone 3G.

like even tho The Internet was a simulation of a social realm for a while, now its developments and experiences are reified: materialized in their gargantuan socioeconomic utility, personalized in how we attach our egos to them, and objectified with the space they take up in our lives.

an email is not an internet version of mail! the way you can tell is because (a) it makes me feel differently than mail, like ive cognitively segregated the social proprieties of email from paper mail, (b) email and mail fall under separate regulatory bodies, and theyre budgeted, produced, deployed, marketed, totally different in business, and (c) they are literally different like down to their delivery address, the energy or fuel they use to transmit a message and their logistical distribution, the muscles i use to open them and the parts of my brain that light up when i interpret them, the private and public apparatuses that they capitalize off of and alllllll the startups and bills and acquisitions and public contract bidding and corporate director - political candidate swapping they strategize around to benefit the profitability of mail vs email.

anyways. i promise to you, mysterious trio of auto-correct programs on my laptop, that spelling it "email" is not unprofessional. in fact, woe be upon ye engineers, front and back end developers, copy editors, and thy bureaucratic panopticon whose sole purpose is to maximize execution instead of fighting for whats RIGHT

[lionews]

"everyone hoppin on jesters dick in chat really really confuse me". Fr tho, that and the people who suck up to serval, its really kinda sickening to watch

.

[dread-and-despair-dyke]

Things got weird with that borderline tumblr person I was messaging. They blocked me on discord but was still mutuals w me on tumblr. I kept talking to them out of extreme boredom even tho I really should have just blocked them but. I am unwell. I am way too attached to abusive and unstable people. Like it sickens me bc I don't wanna be that way and I put myself in danger all the time. Like I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. When I told my therapist about everything she stared at me with this look lol. Not a good sign. Like what's wrong with me. Anyway they told me they had feelings for me but. I literally do not want to e date random tumblr people so I rejected them but yeah. Kind of irredeemable. I liked them as a friend kinda cause they matched my freak but I think they should stay the hell away from me for my sanity. They asked if I was laughing at them and messing with them and all. And I'm sure you know how that went. I just feel fundamentally broken like. It's literally dangerous how I associate with these types of people. Like it's the borderlines. I'm so mental. Sometimes I suspect I'm borderline myself except I'm like. More normal and I don't do things like accusing people and threatening to kill myself. Anyway whatever. I feel absolutely insane and pathetic.

-🍱

hii sorry its been almost a month 😭 its just me and my uh. taking 100 years to get around to replying but

i dont understand a person like that, who hardly know you at all and immediately treats u in such a way, but say theyre attached to you.. i think perhaps it is a 'bpd' thing though god knows whether these diagnoses are real in the first place

my therapist (newly acquired) also stares at me like this about whatever i tell her but ive decided im doing my own thing

its not insane or pathetic i think... we are all just trying to find people who will make good company for us.. there are always more people online :)

[blossominglovely]

Stan list update! for record purposes

Ok so i came to the decision of unstanning groups.. yeah. Tbh its like i unstanned them months ago but rn officially took them off from my stan list :( its sad but.. i rly dont see the purpose of having their name there when i have no idea what theyve been up to for the last year lol

Onewe: lovee their music but yeah i just dont rly connect w the members.. rn i dont even know who is enlisted and who isnt like skjsbd

E'last: with the whole Thing ill try to support them but i cant rly say i stan them at the moment.. also didnt rly dig their latest releases

Verivery: this is kinda sickening bc they were one of the first grps that i stanned :( but im rly not into their latest music and i dont feel like catching up on them.. at all, theyre still my beloveds tho

Now: new additions!!<3

Choi yena: with her latest release she rly bought me! The thing about yena is that everything about her is exactly what i love the most in kpop, flashy cluttered mvs and girly y2k-inspired fashion like.. its made for me

Now onto groups i wanna stan!

Nmixx: im in a dilemma here srsly bc i Loved their first 2 title tracks but their lastest one didnt make feel anything at all.. i should listen to the whole mini tho, and the girls are undoubtedly talented

Billlie: very similar case to nmixx, eunoia is the contrary of what i liked billlie for.. but i need to listen to their other albums still. Im gonna wait for their next comeback

Ive: tbh there isnt a time when they didnt slay, i just have to listen to all their music to decide properly

Xikers: new addition! I absolutely loved their debut and this comeback just made everything better, i Love seeing them perform do or die i cant get tired of it

Kiss of life: another new addition, their mvs are literally cinema? im soo impressed and the music is so good i literally fell in love w them

So yeahh about the upcoming 5th gen post-boys planet groups.. idt ill stan tiot bc im only rly attached to junhyeon tbh, same with rbwboys; about blit however im def gonna stan them if i like the music. Ultimately, i will wait to see how i like their debuts