#its kinda hard to come up with an exact standard for whats probably natural and whats probably dyed though

[sonknuxadow]

not prompted by literally anything but i think that considering shadows fur coloring is likely a result of his black arms dna then its very rare if not impossible for normal hedgehogs to look like that . like if you ran into another black hedgehog with red stripes they probably just dyed it to look that way

[genesisrose74]

Requested by @blanknamed (aka my bestie fr): hihi i saw the matchup and remembered my irl friend sent me these pictures when describing my aesthetic at one point and was wondering if i can have a matchup with someone from dsmp and dr. stone ����congrats on 1k too! so proud of you ❤️ you deserve this milestone!

Arielle get over here and let me give you a virtual kiss on the forehead because you’re just the sweetest person to ever grace this earth 😚forgive me for the long wait but i had to put so much into this one because it’s for you!! thank you for always being such a ray of sunshine and for becoming one of my first ever mutuals so long ago — and as a show of my gratitude, i’ll get right into your first pairing, which is going to be with…

I had a literal conflict over this because I think you could be compatible with more than half of the characters in dr. stone (looking at gen specifically), but UGH you and Senku would be so damn iconic together. As much as he’s not intent on becoming romantically involved with anyone, it just so happened that you both had a chance meeting together at the school library — in the modern times pre-petrification, of course. You were looking for a book on the development of radiation powered technology for a history class, and by coincidence Senku was reading the blurb of that very text when you stopped by. When you asked if he’d read it, your classmate simply shook his head and said he just knew a lot about the subject, and soon enough a conversation blossomed from that point.

Y’all talked for two hours. While standing in the same spot. TWO HOURS. And it didn’t even stop there because he realized the time and asked if you wanted to talk more over a bowl of this really good ramen he knew about close by. Senku barely even realized the implications of his offer until much later, since…

He was way too involved in your conversation to notice

He’s never had any interest like that in someone before, let alone has he ever tried asking a person out in general

Everything about you was so interesting to him that he cannot process anything else going on around him and he doesn’t know why

You just feel so different in comparison to his dynamic with anyone else that it throws him off. He’s curious as to why he straightens up when you walk in a room, why everytime you smile at his stupid dry jokes it makes him more confident, why your intrigued questions about his work give him an extra burst of adrenaline. After he comes home late, having fallen asleep in the library while you studied for a test beside him, Byakuya eventually spells it out for Senku in massive bold letters.

No, seriously, he writes it on a whiteboard with a chunky black marker.

“That’s ridiculously far-fetched,” he asserts quickly, trying to push his old man out of the room. “Since when have I ever been interested in anyone in that way?”

“Senku, you waited for her to finish her work. Without complaint.”

And he’s like: oh shit—

But knowing Senku, he still makes some futile attempts to disprove the concept that he could ever be attracted to someone in a romantic sense. Ya know, all that, “science is my only devotion” shit. It lasted for about two weeks, which was the exact amount of time that he tried avoiding you in hopes of seeing if he could in fact continue his routine without your presence next to him.

The bitch still cannot swallow his pride though, so you have to be the one to make the first move — which is about as simple as perfecting Flight of the Bumblebee on a violin. Every time you try bringing it up, it’s like Senku gets a sixth sense about it and is pulled away from you as soon as possible. At some point you just had to corner him in the school lab, hands smacking against the surface of his work table and mouth blurting it out.

“I think we should go on a date.”

He’s kinda impressed at the sheer willpower you displayed in finally getting the question into the air. And as much as he would hate to admit it, some happy nerves shot through his body when it happened. On the outside, though, he simply failed to fight a grin.

“Wanna get food with me tonight?”

And you did :D and it only went good from there. Dates at cafes with comfy chairs and pretty lighting, test runs of new experiments in the middle of the night that Senku calls you to see together, just enjoying the presence of one another in a secluded corner of the libraries you frequent. Even after the disaster that was petrification you’re both side by side, being sarcastic little shits to each other as soon as Senku frees you from the stone; doing new tests to save the world, going on picnics by the river, and constantly being of service to one another.

And then from the c!dsmp, I thought it was only fitting to match you up with…

^^ artwork by SAD-ist on YouTube

Listen, listen: I was considering a more standard/expected approach to this matchup, like maybe c!Wilbur or c!Niki because they’ve both got some major academia vibes. Especially Niki, because damn she’d probably take you to her flower shop and make handmade bouquets for you each day. However, I just think that it would be so perfectly fitting to have you and c!Sapnap together aesthetically. He’s very emotionally driven, always doing something stupid, and he probably hasn’t read a book since L’manburg claimed to be a sovereign nation. Regardless of that fact, he could sit and watch you read a book for hours, even if you didn’t ask him to. Standard case of grounded scholar + impulsive idiot = natural soulmates.

Within the region of the SMP, I imagine you like confining yourself to the libraries filled with ancient texts on the vast history of your home — although taking a visit to Eret’s self-made museum is always a pleasure as well. Niki gets along with you easily enough that you hang out together all the time, and it’s on one such occasion in the early days of L’manburg that Sapnap encounters you for the first time.

Dream had sent him out for scouting duty (which to Sapnap translates into, ‘be annoying to everyone within the walls’), and he’d taken to the edge of the country’s small borders, lounging up high above the trees so that he could see everything below with ease. To his surprise he found you, scribbling away within a ragged old notebook underneath a tree canopy, and wearing the prettiest smile he’d ever seen exist on a person before. You were waiting for your friend to arrive, it seemed, taking the ideas in your head and putting them to paper whilst you sat patiently. He was enraptured with you right away, and as a result he took to teasingly pestering you every chance he could.

Sapnap showed up at least once a week — and when he could, more than that — to slowly learn more about you. He tried staying under the radar of Wilbur when he did, just to make sure none of his endeavors were interfered with or got back to Dream in any capacity. Initially, his presence appeared a pain in your side, but your apprehension ultimately fell at the hands of his ridiculous humor and genuine inquiries as to your likes and dislikes. You knew who he was from the get-go, but it was hard not to find delight in his visits when he made such vigorous attempts to know you.

Although you’re sure he’d already learned it somehow, you told him your name one fateful afternoon, and he’s thought about that moment every day since, marking it as the first day he truly made progress in winning you over.

“You should come up here one day so we can talk normally,” he called out on a particularly overcast fall morning. “Maybe then I can see your face up close.”

You laughed, gazing up at him from the hillside on which you reclined. “You’re ridiculous. That’s not how this relationship works.”

“Mm, relationship? Sounds like you wanna gimme a kiss more than saying anything, hu—ow!”

A pine cone had clipped him in the shoulder harmlessly, chucked with expert aim by your own hand. Despite his surprise, Sapnap couldn’t help smiling.

“If you’re working that hard to twist the narrative and get me up there, how about you just come down instead?”

Without missing a beat the next day, he scaled to the top of the nation’s wall, made his way inside (with very little consideration for his safety), and took your face in his hands.

“You want me to?”

You already knew the implications. “Yeah.”

And he kissed you, then and there. Nice job, Ari!

Navigating a full blown relationship in the conditions y’all were in was not ideal. Sapnap tried everything he could to make sure you were safe, despite his distaste for your mother country and its leaders. After that cleared, though, it was a whole lot easier to be together and figure things out. Sapnap didn’t mind you staying within the walls as much as he initially thought because it reminded him of the first time you met, and so long as he could spend time with you he loved every second. Literally ask this man to do anything with you and he’s in, no matter what it is.

The sheer spontaneous energy Sapnap has inevitably feeds into your own, so while you’re much more contained than the pyromaniac, you have some very notable moments of crazy that are simply unforgettable. It’s honestly super funny to see that infectious life invade your senses, because otherwise you’re a super logical person and love entertaining yourself with the more simplistic things.

You work a lot with Wilbur on record keeping and cartography, but something that you and Sapnap apparently have in common is archery. That pine cone throw was no fluke, and he found that out when you came to visit, a shimmering bow fastened to a stock-full quiver on your back. It’s become a pastime to both ride out into the forest with your horses and practice archery (oftentimes mounted) as a way to let out frustration. If the weather conditions are too abysmal to go and do something outdoors, though, Sapnap likes to fall asleep watching you do methodical work, most commonly with his head in your lap as a fireplace crackles nearby. He’s a huge sucker for that cozy atmosphere, even though he tries to be all tough and badass at other times.

This became a huge ramble because I just think this pairing for you works so well, but I’m praying you get the picture. Sapnap is a flirty, slightly whiny, very protective, and free spirited person whenever you’re around, and he’d do whatever he could to see that pretty smile like the first day you told him your name. He thinks the world of you, and in his eyes your intelligence goes unparalleled.

[migilini]

What The Heart Wants - Charlie Gillespie

Request: The reader is madly in love with Charlie who is her best friend but he’s dating and in love with her sister yk? Make it angst and sadcharlie

a/n: Sorry it took me so long! I’m so stressed with school atm so i bearly had time to write at all. I still hope you like it and that I went into the right direction. Don’t know how angsty it is.

Words: 2.3k

Warnings: a little angst

MASTERLIST

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As a teenager you spent a lot of your free time watching pretty much every rom-com that was out there, the thought of true love ignited a spark of hope in your heart. You loved the way that the characters on screen always were meant to be together, the way their love just seemed to be or else life isn't worth living.

Maybe your image of love was flawed and unrealistic. Maybe you always fell in love with the idea of a person rather than the person itself. Maybe your standards were too high and maybe that's why all your previous relationships didn't seem to work out.

And then you met him. Kinda ironic really, love, at first sight, was always your least favourite trope. But there he was, sitting alone at the table in the otherwise crowded cafeteria. His brown hair fell into his eyes while he played with the mashed potatoes on his plate, he was bopping his head to something. You took a big breath, collected all your courage that you didn't use growing up and sat down across from him.

The stranger looked up with furrowed eyebrows "S-sorry there isn't another free table." you stuttered and sent him a small, flustered smile. The boy took out an earbud "Sorry?" you started to blush, your eyes wide "Oh I- sorry I- was uhm... is it okay if I sit here?"

"Yeah yeah sure." the stranger answered and shot you a smile and gosh was that smile beautiful. If this was your way to die then so be it. "I'm Asher by the way."

"Y/N. Nice to meet you." you waved with three fingers.

After that Asher took you under his wings, introduced you to all his friends, took you to parties and most importantly helped to grow your self-confidence. You always knew who you were but with him, it was the first time where you could actually show off the real you, there wasn't a part of you that you had to hide to fit in.

Nevertheless, he wasn't your best friend. You two spent a lot of time together yes, but you didn't share a lot of secrets, your topics always being superficial. Yet, the crush on him only grew. The two of you were picture book perfect. Asher threw you into the water at the beach, screamed to lyrics in the car with you or even went shopping with you.

"Just this one party I promise," he whined one day, shoving more dresses in your chest. You huffed "Is this why you agreed to come thrifting with me? To get on my good side?" Asher smiled cheekily "Guilty. I know you don't know the people there but I really want you to go." he tried to persuade.

You looked up at him through your eyelashes, trying to hide the smirk on your lips. You liked to see him throw a little tantrum. "Fine. But you'll pay for my dress."

The host of the party seemed nice enough and you hoped to god that the guests were the same. LED Lights illuminated the living room in a dark purple. The music blaring so loud, that you could feel the beat in your heart. "Y/N this is my good buddy Charlie. Charlie this is Y/N one of the baddest people I know." Asher screamed over the music, one of his arms draped over your figure. The party just getting started as more people walked through the front door.

You gave Charlie a hug and smiled up at him. "Hi!"

"Hello." he smiled back and your breath got stuck in your throat for a good second. Suddenly Asher had competition for the prettiest smile in the world. The boy with the mischievous spark in his eye really challenged your rankings.

You didn't intend to spend the night practically glued to Charlies hip. Asher was nowhere to be found, probably smoking somewhere with his buddies and the two of you were just naturally drawn to each other. He goes to get a new drink and a minute later, without discussing it beforehand, you do the exact same thing. Or you go on the small balcony to get some fresh air and Charlie joins you a couple of minutes later, casually leaning against the railing next to you.

"I figured that I would find you out here." he nearly whispered into the night. "Yeah it seems like you've been stalking me the whole night." you teased with raised eyebrows, a slight smirk playing on your lips. Charlie's hand immediately covered his heart. "I would never! And there I was, thinking I had the honour of you stalking me."

"Alright, Teds. If it makes you happy yes of course I was chasing after your pretty ass." you winked and he let out a heartful laugh.

"Teds?" he asked.

You shrugged your shoulders and slid down the railing, your front, facing the glass doors. The party inside was raging, with people dancing, kissing, talking and laughing. Only the faint noise of the newest pop song carried its way out to you.

"You're wearing a shirt with many teddy bears on it. It only made sense."

You and Charlie spent the rest of the night outside, the conversation flowing naturally and if there was a quick silence it wasn't awkward at all. Lucky for you, the party was in the middle of the summer so you didn't mind that much that you forgot to bring a jacket outside.

After the party you and Charlie spent a lot of time together, going to museums, road trips, camping or even just hanging out in one of your apartments. Inert weeks he was your best friend and over the years of friendship, you started to develop feelings for the Canadian.

He had helped you calm down right before your first date with Asher, who finally had the guts to ask you out and picked up the pieces after you got broken up with. Asher's last words before he left, never leaving your mind: "Truthfully I think you're in love with someone else Y/N. You just haven't figured it out yet but I know. I look at you the way you look at them."

Several months later, on a trip with your family and Charlie, you realised that Asher was indeed telling you the truth and you had been slowly falling for someone else.

It was late evening, the stars started to creep up on the sky, while the sun sank lower and lower behind the trees, illuminating the world in a pretty blend of oranges and pinks. The group sat around a small fire that cracked every now and then, filling the air with warmth. Everybody was exhausted from the big hike. Trees rustled somewhere in the background. A soft melody caught you off guard, completely ripping you out of your own thoughts.

Charlie sat a couple of feet away from you, across from your sister and mother. He was playing his guitar with no special song in mind. He settled on a melody that you didn't seem to recognize but you didn't care. Charlie looked beautiful.

Over the last year, he grew out his hair, which was now in a loose bun in the crook of his neck, some stray hairs falling in his face. The warm light from the fire highlighted his features in the exact right way. His eyes sparkled with joy. Before he started to sing the song, he looked over at you and smiled. It was the same smile that haunted you since then. The one that made your heart beat faster, the one that still took your breath away, the thing you couldn't shake off and also the one thing you couldn't live without.

While you stared at Charlie during the duration of the song, your heart swelling at the sight of him. He did the same to your sister. His eyes memorising every crook of her face from her arched eyebrows down to the roundness of her lips.

It didn't surprise you at all. Growing up everybody either wanted to be her or be with her. She was naturally gorgeous with long, luscious hair and an amazing body. She had decent grades and was always nice to everybody. The embodiment of the girl next door. It was hard to build a reputation that wasn't ‘Sam’s little sister’.

Looking back, that was probably why you liked Asher's attention so much. It was the first time someone saw you for yourself.

But what did shock you was that eventually, the two became a couple. Looks-wise they fit perfectly together that much was true but you couldn't wrap your head around them when it came to personality. From your romcoms, you knew that opposites attract yet Sam and Charlie are more than opposites. Not to say that you didn't love your sister, you really did, that was the main reason why the news shocked you so much. He liked to travel the world, not to be tied to one place for a long time. He was spontaneous and carefree, always down for a new adventure or a new adrenaline kick. Sam on the other hand wanted to take over dad's business in her hometown where she already went to school and college. Ever since she was little, she dreamed of a big family that was gonna grow up in the house she grew up in. Sam didn't like leaving her little bubble, her days always planned down to the second.

Neither of them noticed your heart breaking a little more every time they kissed right in front of you or the longing looks you gave Charlie. Both tried to include you in their adventures, taking you to the cinema with them, to IKEA and Disneyland. Still, you couldn't shake the feeling that they weren't quite meant for each other. However, you kept your mouth shut just, always smiling their way, not mentioning that Charlie never went on Road Trips anymore or that Sam seemed to smile less.

“I think I want to marry her.”

You nearly spat out your drink, the fist in front of your mouth only holding back a little. The water dripped down your arm and onto the couch.

“What now?” you coughed and turned to the other person chilling at your apartment.

“You heard me right. My acting career is taking off and all the travelling made me realise that she is the one.” he smiled with a lopsided grin.

You furrowed your eyebrows, desperately trying to hide the hurt that flashed in your eyes. After trying, again and again, to get over Charlie you lost all hope. No other man even slightly compared to him, you tried to forget about him you really did. However, your heart believes that he was the man for you.

“Don’t the two of you want completely different things?” you switched into the best-friend mode, locking the jealous side away.

Now it was Charlie's turn to be confused, “What do you mean? We’ve been together for nearly two years now.”

“I just mean that she never expressed the desire to travel the world. She wants to have a big family and be a mom. Is she gonna travel to your jobs with you? Are you giving up your career to be at home with her? I just think there are so many things the two of you need to discuss before you take this step.” you expressed your concern while playing with the hem of the blanket covering you.

He stared at you for moments. Neither of you was speaking, the gears in his brain working in overload.

“Look I’m not saying that you shouldn't ask her to marry you. If that's what makes you happy, be happy. It's what I care about. I’m just saying you have a completely different view of the world.” you rambled, your eyes not meeting his anymore.

Was he mad? He normally spoke his thoughts out loud.

He lets out a sigh as he rubbed his hands over his face “Yes I know that you're right...but my gut is telling me that she's the one...” your heart cracked “and I couldn't forgive myself if I didn't ask, even if it ends up not working and you were right with your concerns. But knowing us, we will make it work. Compromise a lot, build a worldview together as a married couple.”

He smiled at you and your heartbeat quickened “I also kinda need your blessing.” he sheepishly said, slightly biting his lip.

You tried to keep your thoughts clear. “My blessing?”

Charlie nodded excitedly “Yes! I figured since you’re my best friend and she's also your sister I would ask you if you would be okay with that… I know we never asked if you're comfortable with us dating in the first place.”

“Oh, Teds," you whined, using the old nickname you had for him. "No need to ask me! As I said your happiness is my priority.” you smiled so wide that it hurt your cheeks, blinking rapidly to dissolve the tears that formed in your eyes.

He tackled you in a bone-crushing hug, placing wet and sloppy kisses all over your forehead. “Thank you. thank you. thank you! You don't know how much this means to me!”

Growing up, watching the Notebook, About Time, 10 things to hate about you, PS: I love you and many others, love always seemed inevitable, somehow it would work out. You would've never thought that you would be jealous of your sister's engagement. Who would have predicted that both sisters were gonna fall for the same guy, that one sister was happy while the other hated herself for yearning for him as well?

The 25-year-old version of you despised the 15-year-old version for loving these goddamn rooms, for believing in a soulmate, one true love, love for everyone but mostly for believing in an own happy ending.

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Taglist: @alluringworld

[sugar-petals]

Bts voice analysis anon here! I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to respond ❤ it made complete sense why yoongi is the deepest I kinda feel bad for him everytime he wants to sounds cheerful or speak in a way so people can hear him he strains his voice

lot to talk about, i’d like to expand on this. especially what his voice being the deepest means for bts’ songs. plus, where his undiscovered vocal talents are, and in what manner his voice will not strain.

that he’s very introverted contributes to what you say, but yoongi is certainly the odd one out voice-wise, such low baritones hardly sound upbeat. similar to how taehyung being the odd one out in the vocal line whose head voices are literal superpowers. i really respect him for singing with jin and jimin who can climb one octave higher than him, up to C#5! and with jk who has the best technique and breaks into the 6th octave if he goes on like that.

it’s very much like yoongi who probably has to mix their tracks back and forth to fit his parts with hobi (who is a tenor as a rapper! — very uncommon) and namjoon who raps in several modes. very low, very high, very impactfully. he’s the most full-bodied baritone in the group even if he’s only the third-deepest. the tone is just so rich. both hoseok and RM are extreme vocal chameleons on top of that. in speaking and in their music you can hear the difference to yoongi all the time. they don’t suddenly drop in pitch and they’re vocal acrobats.

hobi in particular, this guy can do anything. the sheer agility my god, he connects his registers. he can go up and down, impersonate and do a million effects, adlibs, you know the drill. it’s him who actually owns the “cheerful/loud and clear” brand you mention. which is good if not fantastic for yoongi’s production endeavours, the group mood, and how bts cannot be ignored — but tough for yoongi’s voice and comparison thinking, and when he tries to make a point in interviews. maybe it’s not bad that bts have to slow down sometimes to let yoongi speak, but his tone is drowned out (not intentionally of course) in other occasions and he wakes up hoarse often as we saw. which might sound hot, but it’s not good for him as you say.

to be clear. i wouldn’t chalk down his more monotonous and silent tone as a weakness, it’s just outside of bts’ other vocal variety. he makes up for it with speed and good lungs anyway. we just have to listen more closely to him in talks/episodes/conferences but i think he shouldn’t worry about it either or try to sound more enthusiastic, the fans love his soothing speech for its pure sake. he does change it regardless to be more poignant and blend in. it has pros and cons but it wears him out.

yoongi’s voice is under that strain not just in conversation but also in the studio if he wants to bring connection to the rap line parts instead of having 3 songs in 1. which usually ends up happening anyway. that’s also why the cyphers (!) switch genres mid-song so often: their voices are all strong in different registers! yoongi the lowest, joon midrange, and hoseok up high. 

that��s why cypher pt2 is a HUGE stunt and production masterpiece: hoseok’s part is tuned differently, then other instrumentals start with namjoon. and you can literally hear, okay alright a deep voice is coming! from there it just gets deeper and deeper until yoongi is just rapping over a bass guitar (every baritone’s best friend lmao!). god, please give yoongi a big bassline for his every part. “ugh” is the exact opposite: yoongi has to start too high and namjoon also has problems with the key, only hoseok can fully take off after 1:50 with perfect vocal stability. guess which song is autotuned: it’s not cypher pt2! a 3 in 1 song fuels the rapline in a way where they are most comfortable. it’s crazy how far apart they are among each other vocally and it has to be considered.

it’s a dilemma but also why bts’ rap line can tackle any song with at least one member suiting it. they complement each other, every register (except the rare whistle register, aka what mariah/ariana do) is covered. i think that contributed to bts’ fame, it’s so important. however usually, the song caters to hoseok since tenors are preferred in kpop music, or it caters to RM as he’s the central songwriting entity even if mind you, he always thinks about all the members and works closely with yoongi.

but even with joon’s support, it doesn’t work if yoongi is caught in his wish to be a tenor. we’ve seen how much the guy talks about wanting his range to become wider and how he even tried singing quite high for his standards on d-2. he goes as far as collabing only with sopranos to help him achieve that pitch. yoongi is invested to pretty much change his entire vocal type 🙁because the environment simps for high notes so bad (which is fair, falsetto is related to releasing certain happy hormones and highlights parts in songs, but still).

... he actually can’t, unless he wants to damage his throat. that’s the last thing we want. a listener can get the serotonin from a very deep voice equally if they got good taste.

thing is. you cannot morph yourself into a different vocal type and shift your range to the opposite of your comfort zone unless you’re whitney houston. even one in a million tenors like baekhyun can’t make themselves a baritone. his lowest notes are less clear no matter how hard he practices, even if his chest voice is almost operatic and his technique excels. meanwhile, chanyeol (who’s a lyric baritone and exo’s deepest voice) effortlessly hits them without (!!) that kind of decade-long training. have baekhyun or jimin been called bad singers for not being able to cover the other end of the spectrum? nope. so: why would yoongi be a bad vocalist who needs autotune. with lessons, oh man, he could do a lot and many things he dreams of. he has a very unique timbre and enough musical knowledge to do so.

so, we see the magic of your natural supported range. it’s simply given to you. imagine that: if you know you’re not a tenor, you could sort of outsing jungkook — obviously not by technique, but projection— as long as the song is tailored to you and the notes are low enough. yep, jk’s lower register is not extremely forward. each note is perfectly sung because he’s jk, but his power vocals are settled much higher. joon/tae/yoongi would sound much fuller with huge oomph in those lines. that’s where yoongi would be much more clear-sounding to us. a lot of baritone rappers in kpop would be damn good singers. 

that’s why it’s good how a lot of rappers produce solos on their own so they can try it out. 

you just have to respect that your range usually (not always) goes in one direction. once yoongi rightfully decides to abandon his high note fantasy and goes lower just for fun, we are not safe anymore lmao! exception for range: female singers have an advantage there. trained mezzo-sopranos have great access to the head voice and lower registers since they’re in the perfect middle of the scale. but the guys, forget it, even the baritenors. yoongi’s fullest voice will always be coming from a chesty depth and we love him for it. guy just needs to realize.

that’s why his real challenge is rather somehow tweaking the rap parts so his voice finds good resonance like in “혼술” or even “ddaeng”. where his voice is strong, relaxed, and full and flowing. ddaeng — “boy with luv”, too— is ironically in a very high pitch and again caters to hobi’s tone the most, but: yoongi just scales down to his own octave and it still fits, so — great key choice and musicality! and adaptation. it’s not easy to do. you can tell he plays piano.

he either becomes less easy on the ear or has to autotune himself entirely if he works against his voice. or: goes on a track way outside his supported range (dynamite, WOW). it’s a shame. “daechwita” and “agust d” are such a case: both go into the head voice where your resonance should show the most aka the chorus. there are aggressive belts/snarls/shouts that make more sense for higher, trained voices. yoongi is most famous for raps that are literally designed to fuck up his vocal cords 😷that he’s so skilled as a rapper prevents him from that to a degree, but it’s still not healthy. he adapts a lot to bts’ overall delivery but he doesn’t have to, in fact: he could go in the other direction and it would work even better.

the reason for the title track issue: they are the most energetic. in k-pop, energetic means amping up the pitch. and that’s probably a logical choice and a natural human association. if you make a baritone kpop track with a lot of energy, it probably becomes pretty creepy, uneasy, film noir. but i think that’s exactly yoongi’s thing: to unsettle and critique and rage. i think it could work out. lil nas x is a baritone pulling it off. he achieves energetic title tracks, he honors his vocal type well imo. his live singing is cool af, i need this so hard in the rap landscape. so, it’s not impossible to do.

the trick is probably setting everything to minor key. surprise... yoongi’s challenging title tracks are all in major key. boy with luv: minor key, interesting. the former are extremely difficult for him to do so hats off. “shadow” is more suitable for his baritone as is “burn it”. it needs a very heavy, dark track. which is why it’s good that yoongi has that kind of public image. a baritone’s best genre is not super light and whimsical. that’s why all of our baritone faves are not main vocalists but main rappers. kai, taehyung, jaehyun: low voices in vocal lines are soldiers.

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now a note on yoongi’s best method of singing since it reflects his voice type and brings out the fullness of it. as in, how does it crack and strain less? guess why “사람” is yoongi’s favorite d-2 song to sing. it’s ALL his comfortable range and the singing — very beautifully done —  is in mixed register (= head + chest)! which imo might be his secret weapon. it allows him to do what he longs to do successfuly without going extremely high. bingo.

because: even with baritones, the golden middle is still important. they’re not as deep as a bass, after all. that’s why their voices are so honey-laced in the mixed range and it sounds amazing. heaven, their timbre sounds so seductive. so, it’s wonderful when they find their middle and dare to sing. 

i wish yoongi gets/makes more tracks aimed at just that. in “outro tear” he has to go both too low and too high so it takes a lot of production effort to patch it together. the rapline is doing god’s work to make all their voices sound cohesive without being trained singers. it’s always a trade-off and risk, an immense balance act. “paldogangsan” is hard on yoongi’s voice but works as a whole plus it caters to namjoon to carry the song’s message. the cyphers are chopped up and not chart-friendly but each member is in their comfort zone. 

PS: i said bts’ rap line covers all registers except one. i think that jin is the one to complete bts’ entire spectrum coming from the vocal line. i’m no whistle note expert but dionysus went pretty high up there, i think he might be able to do it. it’s very impressive, even jungkook and jimin probably don’t have access to that register. so, another point for bts being a very ‘complete’ group.

[lan-xichens]

wait no i also want to recognise that everything you said about wwx is super valid like i feel there's less of a debate there but!! oh shit wait maybe wwx does also have rejection sensitive dysphoria (an emotional sensitivity and pain triggered by the perception that a person has been rejected or criticized by important people in their life. It may also be triggered by a sense of falling short—failing to meet their own high standards or others’ expectations.)

sorry for the complete spam but the rejection sensitive dysphoria can also lead to outbursts when you externalize it, ie in anger etc.- but it can also lead you to become like a people's pleaser (like i kinda do feel this sounds more like wwx) as for the like- starting something and not wanting to stop, i think it's a hyperfocus thing, bc you start something and you get in the flow and then you're afraid to stop bc when you pick it up again you won't feel the same (nd then you overwork yourself)

No no not spam at all! Sorry I couldn’t get to it the other day, but thanks for elaborating on this. But rejection sure is a theme amongst Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng like, oof.

But I definitely see how you brought that up for Jiang Cheng because, his entire life and story seem to revolve around him trying to earn his place and win the respect of those he cares about, but both intentionally and unintentionally, he keeps being sidelined.

First, by his parents:

And, both Jiang Cheng’s looks and personality took after his mother. He hadn’t ever been to Jiang FengMian’s liking. Since birth, he taught him in many ways, yet he still couldn’t change, which was why Jiang FengMian had always seemed as though he didn’t favor him too much.

Jiang Cheng pulled Wei WuXian’s hand away and stood up, letting out his anger, “I know! I know that I don’t have the personality he likes, that I’m not the heir he wants. He thinks that I don’t deserve to be Sect Leader, that I don’t understand the motto of the Jiang Sect, that I don’t have the air of the Jiang Sect in me at all! Those are all true!” - GDC chapter 56

How do you compete for the affection and approval of your parents if one of them rejects your entire being based on your personality? Jiang Fengmian’s favouritism towards Wei Wuxian is one of the massive parts influencing how JC and WWX interact, because there must be so so so much jealousy involved on Jiang Cheng’s part.

But even his mother never pulls her punches in criticising him, and adds fuel to this fire.

Jiang Cheng sat still as he looked up at her, “Mom.”

Madam Yu stood up and mocked, “What do you want me to do? Like your father, you want me to hold my tongue? You really are an idiot. I’ve told you long ago that you’ll never in your whole life be able to surpass the one sitting beside you. Not over cultivation, not over night-hunting, even over shooting kites, you can’t surpass him! It can’t be helped. Who could change the fact that your mom is worse than another’s? Worse it is, then. Your mom feels injustice for you, tells you countless times not to fool around with him, yet you’re still defending him. Just how did I give birth to a son like you?!” - GDC chapter 51

So between the two of his parents, there’s no pleasing either, no matter how hard Jiang Cheng tries to win their approval and live up to their expectations. I feel this is why Wei Wuxian attributes a competitive nature to him, but he misconstrues that; I don’t think Jiang Cheng seeks competition so much as he seeks approval, understanding the expectations of him as the future sect leader. He’s not trying to out-do Wei Wuxian’s cultivation because he wants to be better, necessarily, he just wants to prove to both his parents that he’s not... lesser than him. But he wouldn’t have had to do it if they hadn’t been the ones to constantly pit him against his brother in the first place!

But even with the situation being like that (and while we can address it in meta, I know this is probably not something Jiang Cheng could ever admit to himself or to any close to him lest he insults his parents), but even then, he seems to be able to take it in stride so long as Wei Wuxian doesn’t turn his back on him.

And that’s the unintentional part, because this does sadly happen, at least on the surface.

Their conversation at the Burial Mounds is one I’ve wanted to scream about for so long, because the miscommunications there run so deep you couldn’t see the bottom of it. But focussed on rejection, it’s this:

A while later, Jiang Cheng spoke, “Wei WuXian, have you still not realized what the situation at hand is like? Do you really need me to say it out loud? If you insist on protecting them, then I won’t be able to protect you.”

Wei WuXian, “There’s no need to protect me. Just let go.”

Jiang Cheng’s face twisted. - GDC chapter 73

As some super helpful posts have already pointed out, Wei Wuxian’s defection from the Jiang clan is a disloyal thing to do, regardless of his reasons. But I also think that, to some extent, Jiang Cheng feels it as a personal rejection as well.

CQL adds two very painful exchanges here:

JC: They turn out to be a group of the old, young, and weak. All useless! WWX: All useless? Can’t you speak in a good manner?

Jiang Cheng means they are no threat, so the sect leaders are wrong. Wei Wuxian hears him dismiss the lives of those he must consider worthless. This leads up to:

JC: What on earth are you doing this for? WWX: Jiang Cheng, I’ll tell you honestly. Even if it weren’t for Wen Qing and her brother, or for anyone else, I’d make the exact same choice.

Jiang Cheng asks why he would turn his back on the Jiang clan, Wei Wuxian hears him challenge his righteousness and his reason for protecting the innocent. Wei Wuxian explains he would do the right thing for anyone, Jiang Cheng hears he would always choose to reject the Jiang clan, and by extension himself, no matter for who it was.

This comes back at the Guanyin Temple:

On the other hand, Jiang Cheng refused to give up, shouting, “Wei WuXian, who was the one who broke his promise and betrayed the Jiang Sect first? Tell me. That I’d be the sect leader and you’d be my subordinate, that you’d help me your whole life, that so long as the GusuLan Sect had its Two Jades, the YunmengJiang Sect would have its Two Prides, that you’d never betray me or betray the Jiang Sect—who was the one that said these?! I’m asking you—who was the one that said all these?! Did you eat all your fucking words?!”

He got more agitated as he ranted on, “And in the end? You go and protect outsiders, haha! The Wen Sect’s people, even. How much of their rice did you eat?! Defecting with such resolution! What did you take our sect to be?! - GDC chapter 102

Actually, while I love rewatching this scene as so many things keep jumping out at me, it’s even better to reread this part in the novel. I’d forgotten how much extra background we get on just how far this misunderstanding goes.

Why does Wei Wuxian tell him to let things go, and not to keep this matter in his heart?

Wei WuXian pressed his temples, “Forget it. It’s all in the past now. Let’s not mention it again.”

It wasn’t something he liked to reminisce about. He didn’t want to be reminded again and again of what it felt like when his core was cut out or what price he had to pay. If this were exposed in the past, he’d most likely laugh and comfort Jiang Cheng, ‘It’s not that big of a deal anyways. Look at me all these years. Without the core, I still managed to come through, didn’t I? Beating everyone I wanted to beat, killing everyone I wanted to kill.’ But now, he indeed didn’t have the strength left to put up such a confident, nonchalant pretense. - GDC chapter 103

Maybe I was the one who misintrepreted this line in my head, but CQL makes it seem so much like Wei Wuxian is fully at peace with giving up his core, and he wants to impress on Jiang Cheng to find his peace with it as well. But in truth, it’s exactly the opposite, because Wei Wuxian doesn’t want to admit to how difficult it was and still is for him, but he doesn’t want to show him that his decision haunts him.

Which just smacks of a conversation they still need to have.

And also begs the question why CQL went for the second bolded line; why have Wei Wuxian smile and comfort him and try to soothe things over? It was an incredibly sweet moment, sure, but the words were so confusing to me, and now I see why. His heart shouldn’t have been in it at all.

None of this addresses Wei Wuxian’s relationship with rejection at all - how he always struggles to find his place and to solidify his standing with certain people, but how it’s always on loose screws. But the way he treats himself as disposable, especially towards the Jiang clan, was still the whole catalyst for this situation in the first place.

[ziracona]

Benedict head canons? How does he mingle with the rest of the gang

Benedict is an incredibly odd mix of “Polite and socially adept by nature” and “the world’s most awkward man due to the fact he’s stuck almost 200 years after he lived.” He’s fairly adaptable, and learned a lot from other survivors as the cycled in and out of the realm, and worked hard to be able to keep up to date, but he’s also been punched on many occasions in the realm for saying or doing something he had no idea was going to get that kind of reaction. This is left him uhhhhhhhh extremely cautious saying things, and it’s not unusual for him to pause mid sentence and check facial expressions with sudden concern, afraid he’s fucked up again, but it’s super funny the kinds of things that lead him to do this. For example: was afraid that he might be suckerpunched for saying “Things really have changed a lot. I would have thought four unwed adults of different sexes sharing an apartment to attend college together would be looked on as a little scandalous, since no one could know the situation.” (About Claudette, Quentin, Nancy, and Philip all sharing an apartment to go to college) and was also deeply afraid after he said it that saying “Wow! The idea of standard middle class transportation has changed so drastically. To think an automobile like this is considered average,” might be some kind of class-offensive statement, and stopped right after both with a horrified look on his face waiting to see what the damage was. Which, in both cases, was none, but a lot of amusement from the person he was talking to. He does have a tendency in past of accidentally putting his foot in his mouth, but honestly, he’s gotten pretty good at adapting to the times and was never that bad. Alex Lin really just liked putting him in a world of hurt for everything he ever did because she thought it was hilarious, and Benedict could never tell which things were partially jokes and which were sincere, coming from her. Got beat up the first time he met her, because he told her to stay behind a rock and let him run a distraction for her since she was a lady and it was his duty to protect her if he could. She broke his nose with one hit and told him she’d break his fingers with her platform boots if he ever called her a “lady” again, and to stick the sanctimonious crap up his ass, she could take care of herself better than he could, and he instantly fell in love. Has Alex to thank for his paranoia, but probably also for how little he actually does put his foot in his mouth anymore.

Benedict is very proper, and still kind of dresses like he’s from the wrong century. He thinks tech is fascinating, but he’s also kind of a grandpa at learning it. Kate and Jane both give him lessons on tech and just society and things that have changed, and it helps a lot. He is super intimidated by the American highway system and taking a tin can hurdling around at 80 miles an hour while other drivers shoot past you, and afraid of driving, but Kate gives him slow lessons until while still afraid to drive on highways, he’s okay with taking residential roads and driving a bit, despite the way American drivers can get in big cities even just on their way to the drugstore. Kate knew him a little in-realm, so she’s one of the ones closest to him, and enjoys him a lot. She thinks it’s kind of sweet how gentlemanly and polite he is, and how he’s so fascinated by like, cigarette lighters in cars and automatic supermarket doors, and her ancient handheld tennis ball sized electronic 20 questions game. Jane likes him too, and they’re research buddies a lot. He can focus for hours and hours over the dustiest old times, and actually, he can read a lot of the ancient handwriting on old historical documents before common spellings developed, and it’s kind of a godsend. She also greatly enjoys how casually (and often) he drifts into ethical discussions while he does even the most mundane shit like washing dishes.

While no one but Kate met Benedict in-realm, and he spends the most time with her, and with Jane, who he lives and works with, all of them feel like they know him or like he’s a living legend or both, since they’ve been reading and hanging on his writing for years in-realm. He’s accepted immediately, and has so many common experiences—even if not of the exact same trials—that he kinda just fits like a glove, and is extremely welcomed and a natural addition to the group. Philip and Sally are especially close to him, and it kind of helps bridge the intial, slightly awkward gap. After icebreakers, he drifts from house to house like everyone else, and is like, the weird great uncle to most of the younger survivors. Min loves absolutely bombarding him with tech stuff to watch his eyes glaze over while he drowns trying to keep up with her discussions of bitrate and solid state drives, becuase she’s a little cruel, but she does also help him figure out his first decent phone, so she can be your devil or your only slightly sadistic angel. Claudette loves discussing realm stuff with him, and helping each other on research. Also the only one with any experience with falconing, so he kind of helped Jake get some of his initial setup and gear for Alex the crow figured out.

Benedict collects things from the 21st century, especially simple electronics, and everyone thinks that’s kind of endearing, and start picking out simple gifts to get him when they know they’re gonna see him soon. Singing birthday cards, an old gameboy SP, boom boxes, a record player, laser pointers, magic 8 ball (this actually freaked him out, but he didn’t tell anyone because he was afraid of being made fun of), a Bop It, and all kinds of little lights and decorations that make sound or light or move. He has an ever expanding self of these gifts he calls his “Little Marvels” stand, and he really enjoys it. Has tried taking them apart to understand them better, but is usually overwhelmed. Jake took pity on him and helped him get the extreme basic gist of a circuit board once though, and since then, he has been fascinated. Jane soemtimes comes to the table for breakfast to find Benedict with one of those Kid Science kits on the table and potatoes hooked into wires powering a mini fan going, “Jane! Would you look at this. Isn’t that fascinating? Who knew the PH could have this kind of ability?” She finds this endearing and also weirdly relaxing to wake up to.

Benedict takes notes all the time. On literally everything. Is extremely poetic and writes poetry occasionally when he is overcome by the beauty of something like his first time seeing a park lit up with Christmas lights in fancy sculpture arrays on a crisp December night. Gets book recommendations from Adam and Jane and loves talking shop with them. Is constantly horrified by the news. He’s not used to global news being so all at once or so much. He has a really really hard time adjusting and not being thrown into wild bouts of depression. Jane talks him into giving himself more healthy doses of time away from news so he doesn’t kill his 1860s adjusted brain, and he finally takes the advice and is very grateful for the improved quality of his life.

Loves dogs so much. Not a fan of small dogs though. Not like he hates them, just thinks they’re kind of depressing and bug-eyed usually and feels bad for them. Wants a hound. Ends up getting a Yorkshire Terrier mutt instead because it’s the whimpering thing that follows him down a New Jersey street in a rainstorm after a long day of research with Jane. Doesn’t mean to get a pet period but it’s so pathetic and its foot has been injured by something, maybe a car, so he picks it up and takes it home to warm up and give food to before dropping off at a shelter or vet. It’s so wildly affectionate and has so much love in its disproportionately big eyes he keeps being like “...It can stay a little longer,” until he was wrong and it just lives there now. Names it Missy and gave her a little hairbow. Calls her his research assistant. Jane loves this dog. Benedict was already well accepted and friends with the other survivors, but bringing a pet to a party makes people like you more in this family.

Mostly, Benedict is kind of an old man of a professor. He enjoys chatting, but is hard to drag into the more physical activities, except hikes, which he quite enjoys. He mingled quite a bit more than he expected though, and is deeply happy about how accepted he’s become, and how much he cares about these people and they seem to truly care about him.

[kendrixtermina]

The Recruitment Freebies: Thoughts on Sylvain and Felix

Now when it comes to recruiting characters, there are 2 who kind of stand out and are, in their own way, somewhat ‘easier’ to get.

Sylvain joins you automatically if you’re playing fem Byleth, whereas Felix actually requires high stats/abilities that no one else does but since your primary weapon is most likely going to be a sword anyways and he requires sword skill, he’s actually not so hard to collect. Given that they’re both handy units (Felix kicks butt like no tomorrow, Sylvain is pretty customizable and gets a relic early on) you’re sorta encouraged to snatch one or both.

If you’ve seen them in their original environment, you’ll easily notice why: They’re kind of the kingdom’s token cynics. 

[Longer Essay Under The Cut]

The Initial Situation

One thing that stands out right away is that the Blue Lions are one of the tightest-knit groups: The Black Eagles have sort of vaguely heard of each other because most the imperial nobility lives in the capital and the one commoner used to be famous, but that’s it, only Linhardt and Dorothea really express any regret over betraying Edelgard if they do, and their fates don’t differ that much by whatever faction they’re in - Ferdinand is certainly sad to see the Empire itself go down (see that amusing line about an ‘Adrestia-shaped hole in [his] heart’) and has a minor existential crisis when his family’s lands are confiscated after he spend his whole life preparing to rule them, but while he gets that line wondering what might have become of him if Byleth had chosen a different path, he pretty much always becomes a statesman no matter who winds up on the throne.

The Golden Deer, meanwhile, are from wildly different backgrounds and even Claude just showed up last year. If they stay together, they eventually become a tight-knit group under Claude’s leadership (except Lorenz, if Byleth’s not with them), and if you recruit em,  they will largely pursue their own interests as they were never too unified to begin with, with most of the commoners saying they were never that involved in politics, and most of the nobles acting out of self-preservation or opportunism.

By contrast, most of the Blue Lions know each other personally and will be pretty conflicted about defecting from the Kingdom if you recruit them, and it’s no wonder:

Sylvain, Felix Ingrid and Dimitri were childhood friends and all big weapons enthusiasts, Dedue has followed Dimitri everywhere he went for the last few years, Anette’s father worked for Dimitri’s, Mercedes is Anette’s BFF from magic school and while Ashe didn’t know the others before since he was a poor village kid before Lonato took him in, he becomes fast friends with the rest of them due to their shared admiration of knight stories.

So in this more idealistic and old-fashioned groups, Sylvain and Felix can be thought of as the token cynics or more independently-minded characters. This is most obvious with Felix: He sticks out like a sore thumb, vocally expresses his dislike of the others and their values and basically keeps to himself on the training grounds, and its only through the other’s doormatsey dispositions that they seem determined to ignore his hostilities and continue considering him a friend whether he wants to or not. He doesn’t fit in with the other Blue Lions at all.

Sylvain, meanwhile, doesn’t stand out that much at first glance, he seems like another fairly common character archetype in the silly childhood friends lineup and gives Ingrid plenty of cause to get into Mom Friend mode,  but the whole thing with him is that while he pretends to be a hedonistic oaf, he’s actually something of a brooding intellectual type underneath, very ‘byronic’ overall.

Ultimately, both of them are motivated by a desire for, and love of freedom. (which is probably why a lot of ppl think they’d be a compatible and interesting as a romantic couple - for all their outward difference, they have a common ‘core’ there)  Sylvain has been treated all his life like his life and power don’t really belong to himself and he desperately strains against those binds by acting out, and Felix finds his countrymen to have a bit of a grostesque lemming mentality and wants no part of that.

At the same time both show their ‘cynism’ in very different ways, and neither of them is a ‘complete’ cynic, but the areas where you find their residual idealism are also different. I would say that Felix’ cynism is more apparent, while Sylvain’s runs much deeper, but more on that later.

Though he cares little about maintaining a reputation and indeed seems to sorta seek out or get a kick out doing what his father would hate, calling himself a ‘good for nothing/scoundrel/ someone who’s going to hell’, to sorta go against that pressure to be a good kid, when it comes down to it he’s actually still pretty honorable and does actually believe in The Power Of Friendship (as noted by both Ashe and Dimitri - it’s probably why they like him) He’s inclined to be a Good Guy, he just doesn’t want the pressure that goes along with it.

It reminds me a bit of that one Fiona Apple song: “Do I wanna do right? Of course./ But Do I really wanna feel I’m forced to/  answer you?/ Hell no!”

Felix meanwhile - well. Some might say he’s tsundere, and I suppose he is, stock phrases wise, but to put it more specifically what he is is counterdependent.  Which is a word commonly used to describe that teenage behavior of always doing the exact opposite of what your parents or the mainstream do, thereby being just as influenced as a dependent person. It’s closer to being dependent than indepedent - He wants badly to be independent, but doesn’t really know how. He still very much has attachments to his father and his oldtime childhood friends, he just rejects them fiercely, because between Glenn’s death and his first deployment to Sreng, he came to see that attachment as something that will destroy him, something incompatible with self-preservation. He still dearly loves Rodrigue, Dimitri and the others, but he doesn’t want to be like them. He wants to be free, he’s a reasonable man and sees that they’re all walking off a cliff and he doesn’t wanna jump of of it, but his opposition is so absolute because some part of his kind of wants to.

At the same time he’s not entirely a complainer for complaining’s sake. Though very fighting-focussed he has his own strong code of ethics and standards- Dimitri markedly falls short of them. They’re not that different, Felix too feels the wide open wound of being still bonded and attached  to people who aren*t there anymore (”Training for a duel with a corpse”, as he puts it) - But while Dimitri let it eat his life (though there’s more complexity here of course but that would derail this into a whole different essay), Felix kinda errs on the opposite side of pushing down all attachment, but at the same time, he does it because he’s concerned with saving the ones who are still alive. That’s the point he stresses in his paralogue where he argues with his father, “We’re here to protect our subjects”. He wants to protect himself, yes, but he also wants to protect other people. He’s all about that.  He wants people to protect themselves not glorify throwing their lives away.

Which is why despite all his vocal complaining he still ultimately hangs out with the others, cannot help but worry about their wellbeing etc.  They might be negative bonds now but they’re still very much bonds.

Meanwhile, in Sylvain’s case the cynism comes not from rejection but disillusionment and distrust. He’s a good guy but his ability to form bonds is almost completely destroyed. All his life he got showered with fake conditional love while being presented with an example of what would happen if he didn’t stay in ppl’s good graces: His brother, who’d been dropped like a hot potato. I don’t think he can think of himself as good; He kinda got treated as an unfair existence the moment he came into the world.   At least if you get no love, you still have the hope that you might eventually get love. But fake love? Fake love poisons everything. It’s disgusting wrong, it’s not really for you and it just makes you wanna get rid of it by any means neccessary. Speaking from experience here.

Apart from the bonds he got with his childhood friend and those with exceptional people skills like Byleth, Mercedes and Dorothea, he doesn’t really trust anyone beyond a certain level.

But that’s a subtle distinction.

At first the most apparent difference, and the first contrast to come up in their support chain, is focus. Felix responded to the unpleasantness in his past with absolute laser focus, particularly on fighting and becoming stronger, whereas Sylvain avoids ever the appearance of focus like the plague, downplays his capabilities and chases distractions in a way that may be rather relatable to those of us who had the whole weird-ass Gifted Child Experience. Hence, Sylvain might come off as extravagant/frivolous while Felix appears disciplined, even ascetic.

This is also apparent in how its implied that they “jump ship” - Sylvain does it on a whim because of fem Byleth’s ample bosoms, (whereas man Byleth needs to impress him with reason skill which ties more into his hidden dephts) whereas with Felix it would tie into his pursuit of strenght and how he focusses on that more than anything else. Byleth stands out as a badass, so Felix juins his class or that’s his reasoning in the dialogue he gets.

But at the same time what we see here is that both were born with great natural power but don’t want that defining their lives. Sylvain downplays and refuses to use his, while Felix is determined to get straight that he actually “earned” through his harsh discipline and dedication, and vocally disavows conventional wisdom (”Crests, lineagle, knighthood... all trifles. Only strenght and skill matter”)

Post-Timeskip

So while a lot of characters like, say, Dorothea, get alot of the same dialogues in each route, others kind of get different little arcs depending on where they end up - for example if you recruit Lorenz for the empire he will at first join out of pure opportunism (that, and trying to get mercy for his corrupt-ass father), but then towards the last few months, he’ll actually come around to Edelgard’s way of thinking.

Felix is one of the characters whose dialogue differs the most by route - church & Alliance overlap a lot though with a few pointed differences, and his ending narrations are totally different depending on whether you recruited him or left him with the Kingdom. Of course, this would have to differ to an extent as he can’t exactly become Dimitri’s right hand when there’s no Dimitri, but the outcomes are starkly different to the point that even his paired endings with different characters all have two versions.

In the Kingdom route he generally succeeds his father whereas in the other routes, he typically renounces his title and becomes a mercenary unless his partner or BFF convinces him otherwise.

Unlike, say, Ferdinand, who does about the same thing regardless of who he ends up working under, for Felix the decision to ditch his classmates is a big big turning point, a choice

Sylvain by contrast has rather more similar endings wherever he goes and his dialogues are more similar - one highlight being how he has the exact same “history is written by the winners, whoever wins will say they’re right war will probably always exist...” lines regardless of whether he’s fighting for or against Edelgard. Whenever he isn’t commenting on the weather of their next destination or the general suckyness of the war, he remains mildly sceptical of whatever side he’s on, including one memorable instance where he refers to poor Hubert as “Edelgard’s idiot sidekick” and thinks they should try more negotiating, though he’s not blind to Dimitri’s flaws either when they go fight him.

Not really a big joiner or believer, this one, no illusions about how they could always be wrong, which perhaps makes it more touching how he invariably ends up becoming a peacemaker and activist after the war, basically becoming a fulltime do-gooder.

Since the inner mechanics with Felix are quite different, so are his outcomes. Sylvain’s gonna be like “I’m not optimistic but I gotta try doing the right thing”, no atter who he’s following, but you get a whole different Felix depending on what route you’re playing.

Because for him, wether to stick with Team Kingdom or not kinda represents a choice between his lingering attachment and his drive to reject that.

In the Kingdom route, he stays a lot more like he was in his academy days: Complains a lot, but still sticks with everyone to the end. He sort of fills the role of the contrarian number two, the one providing a contrastic viewpoint (while, Sylvain, while not optimistic, is no less stubborn about sticking with a friend in need than the rest of Team Kingdom)

He comes across as the Only Sane Man at times, esp. when he calls Titanic on the whole Revenge Trip to Gronder, “Iceberg ahead? ya’ll seeing the iceberg right?” but of course if you’re just complaining you’re kinda part of the problem - He muses that he must be crazy too, if he’s going along with everybody. Can’t bring himself to leave. Eventually that attachment wins out and he doesn’t even bother hiding it especially once Dimitri gets his act together. At that point he figures that the best he can do is to keep him on-course. Though they don’t go back to the same dynamic they once had, they go back to being BFF and the new dynanic is probably more useful to Dimitri as a counterpoint, they pretty much each succeed their fathers in proper Kingdom Manner and stay an A-team for the rest of their lives just like their das were. Idealism triumphs, though it’s a more matured, well-thought out one that is less about high standards and more about forgiveness/redemption.

It seems like he kinda became what he didn’t want to be early on (in the paired ending with Dimitri he even winds up in one of those chivalric tales he used to hate!), but it also looks like that made him happy. Maybe because it resolved the contradiction and tension within himself, all the energy he expends in rejecting his feelings of attachment, to like, actively not care about Dimitri.

I mean in their B support at one point he almost accidentally lapses back into Nerding Out About Swords Like Old Times - He needs to actively remind himself that he’s supposed to hate Dimitri now, and he does an even worse job at No Longer Liking the others.

Indeed when he gets what he ostensibly wanted, or rather what he wants to want, it doesn’t seem to make him all that happy - This was indeed the realization that prompted me to do this analysis. He goes full lonesome cowboy and marches off and he doesn’t sound all that happy about what he’s done, and his paired ending with Sylvain is one of the ones that makes it very obvious - In the Kingdom route, they stay Together Forever as they were in childhood, like they never got estranged at all. In the other routes it’s a sad, melancholic, darkly romantic thing about how Sylvain inherited his title, Felix came to help him out once and they never saw each other again, and Sylvain eventually gets a keepsake from Felix... and this is if you recruit them both. They get a sad enough dialogue if you grab only one and make them fight each other, but even if they run away together, essentially, they don’t become happy together.

The circumstances aren’t that different, if they still wound up in the same faction - But Felix is different.

Because he doesn’t just leave because of Byleth’s heroic charisma like many of the others - He  goes because, in essence, he is putting his pursuit of strength over his lingering attachments for his friends. To leave the kingdom means to actually become what he pretends to be. To actually become a lonewolf warrior who cares only about strenght rather than an ultimately loyal tsundere.

Which is where the above rambles about counter-dependency come to bear: He says he doesn’t care but he does, so much he can’t stop. So to take this step, which at the time seens reasonable and sane and free to him, is to cut off part of himself.

Though even here there are different gradations depending on where you recruit him to.

In the Alliance and church routes he simply jumps ship on the kingdom out of self-preservation. Sanity before Honor, just like he was always talking about. The kingdom’s in horrible shape, it can’t win, or so he sees it, Sylvain’s reasoning is pretty much the same but more resigned/sad (”There was nothing I could do”), after all for all they know, Dimitri is long dead (though Felix, always one with keen insight, suspect him to be alive a bit before he shows up)

Then Dimitri turns up alive, but promptly gets himself killed, and Felix regrets it. Every bit as much as other kingdom characters. He wonders if he could have stopped Dimitri if he’d been with him. He channels this into avenging Dimitri first on the empire and then on TWSITD, and starts using his name at this point.

Tellingly enough, he refers to the local afterlife beliefs that are so prominently featured in the Kingdom route. The ones that Rodrigue taught to both Felix and Dimitri and that likely played a role in the latter’s inability to forgive himself for all that Rodrigue is largely a good man who was a positive influence. He talks about “facing” Dimitri in the afterlife or allowing him to rest in peace much like Dimitri’s own talk about appeasing the dead - As much as he’d like to be Felix was not actually immune to his upbringing. basically he really regrets it.

The church and alliance routes differ somewhat in the dialogue before the last stage in a way that makes the church route seem “milder” - He considers working under Byleth once they become King/Queen, so he doesn’t seem quite as “lost”, whereas in the alliance route he expresses interest in dueling Nemesis. Not that far beyond his usual “must fight worthy opponents/ blood knight attude” but certainly more of an embracement of it and also very reckless, since as far as we knew the zombie horde is blazing an almost unhindered trail through the land and pretty much had Hilda’s renowned invincible brother for breakfast.

The empire route, of course, requires him to go even further - it’s one thing to evacuate a sinking ship, another to go a path where there’s a good chance that he’ll have to go against, and even fight/kill his former comrades. The game sure included tons of unique dialogue for this. You can even have his feud with his father end quite lethally, and Dimitri will even comment on it when you engage him. Ouch!

Right after the holy tomb scene most the recruitees’ dialogues are either some variation of “I’m scared but I trust you sensei” or “Now that she’s actually explained her reasoning, Edelgard’s got a point” - Felix’ is neither.

Though he’d presumably agree that Crests and Status are overrated, that’s not what he talks about. He says he wants to forge his own path, one that isn’t his father’s or Dimitri’s.  

He may or may not be doing the right thing but it’s for the wrong reason.

It’s a decision that’s perfectly logical if you feature in all factors except for his own heart - by which I don’t mean some bullshit 19th century “head vs heart” contrast but simply self-knowledge, which is necessary to make choices that you won’t regret, especially when the ‘correct’ path is ambiguous.

He wants to be free, deeply and desperate but, there’s also the counterdependency in play. He’s not going with the Empire because he wants to go with the empire, but because he wants to go against Rodrigue and Dimitri. Rejecting them to prove to himself that he can.

And turns out he can. He can cut em all down, with fairly unfazed Dialogue about how he’s going his own path, will never bow to the likes of Dimitri, will pursue strenght no matter who stands in his way etc.

They all curse him for betraying him, only Sylvain who’s not the sort to have much certainty about being right, gets more of a “sad/tragic” line about their childhood promise.

But that’s on the battlefield. Back at the monastery it’s a different matter. In this route he shows significantly LESS regret about what happens to the kingdom peeps - after all, he knew he’d be fighting them. He’s just completely embraced the ‘living to fight’ thing here and you get the sense that some other parts of his may have been lost in the process.

Ironically he says he killed more ppl than he can count and that he’s practically as bad as Dimitri now (”Your better world better be worth this”, indeed...) and while he’s completely unflinchingly resolute he’s not exactly unphased.

You can certainly understand why he’d end up as a restless sorta wandering mercenary  (interesting, too that if you pair him with Byleth they’ll go with him - interesting enough in its own right since that’s the sort of life they use to have before coming to the academy)

So I guess this could all  ultimately be seen as a parable on ‘be careful what you wish for’, or, more accurately, ‘know yourself before making wishes’.

[brooklynislandgirl]

It Gets You Coming and Going: Of all moral dilemmas, what's one that truly stumps you and why? {ginglymostoma cirratum}

Questionable Quotes || Accepting The question is posed in so very Anakin a way that it almost hurts for simply existing. There’s layers built up between the syllables that only someone who knows him well enough can pick out, and only the very rare amongst them that can tell you where they came from. The deepest is the bedrock of his anxiety, that deep down he believes himself so unworthy that it’s compressed down into the core of him and become the basic foundation of the rest of his personality. Closer to the surface is the silt of fear that he’s said the wrong thing and has reached the tether of her seemingly infinite patience with him. That she’s finally going to snap and savage him with tooth and claw, glutting on the softness of his emotional state until all that is left is something that once resembled the bones of his resolve. And she knows she’s mixing metaphors here but that’s how she conceptualises the things about Anakin she can’t pin to a board and press under glass. Not that she would ever do that, she finds it horrifying and cruel, especially when not that proverbially long ago collectors would do that to living specimens, murdering them with chloroform. Ether. She keeps from curling her lip.

And maybe for those few precious seconds when she can feel his gaze sliding off her and back to the edge of the water, so extremely uncomfortable in his own skin, she empathises with him. Finds it easier to make this about wanting to view himself through the prismatic lens he’s made of her, where every fractured splinter can be compared to the raw emptiness that sometimes fills his own mind and pushes everything out of the way. So he can lose himself in his perceptions ~and she can tell, so easily, when he is sinking in the stream of Time, which is almost always~ and escape for just a little while from the weight of everything resting on too fragile shoulders.

It’s entirely possible, too, and dangerously so that she interprets a good many of their conversations this way, focuses the spotlight on Anakin rather than herself because the idea of introspection makes her a little queasy. That she herself hides behind all the preconceived notions that people have of her that she twists and bends herself to fit into because without them she would be as shapeless as the infinite void of the darkness that lingers at the very edge of the Horizon in the deepest umbral reaches.

And of course she would also never admit to maybe spending too much time dwelling on the reasons why the question wounds her as a means of putting emotional distance and actual thought far out of the way ~out of sight, out of mine. Because it is not the easiest thing to answer. In fact she isn’t sure there’s one that would capture intent as much as interpretation.

The problem with morality as it would be defined by most people is that it is an arbitrary system. An socio-artificial construct that puts a distinction between right and wrong, or good and bad behaviour. And much like consensual reality, the guidelines of such behaviour are dictated by people. And all people are fallible. Even the Holy Father, though he’s not supposed to be.

There are other factors to consider as well. Does he mean specifically as the question relates to Sleepers? Does he mean as it relates to the Awakened as they, master and apprentice, are? If they are speaking about the masses, then are there certain cultural borders they’re straying across? What is good for one group of society is clearly not very often understood by others and so what might be wrong or atrocious in belief may have mitigating circumstances if viewed outside of one’s own group. Then of course there’s the difference between an individual's moral dilemmas and ethical ones, which are similar but still vastly different. Not unlike the Traditions versus the Technocratic Union. And this is obviously not what Anakin means because he’s never seen the heated debates that often took a twist at the dinner table between herself and her brothers.

She wants to tell him, that of course, there’s all of these factors to be taken into consideration. Wants to ask him what he means ~specifically~ in regards to whose morals are being questioned and she knows too that by doing so she will somehow manage to trample his self-worth because he’ll judge himself as not having spoken clearly enough, slowly or carefully enough. That he did not adequately set up the scenario and thus given her something incomplete to work with. There will come a stunning display of beautiful if heartbreaking physical manifestations of that internal grief and she might actually expire from the grief of it all. And she isn’t being nasty about it, she isn’t mocking him in that breath of silence as she considers all of this.  It is something that she’s come to experience in the almost year that they have spent bound together by practice and...funnily enough...tradition. And she likes to think she knows Anakin this well by now, that however hard he tries to hide it, she will see.

She reaches into the bucket beside her and takes a hold of another chunk of meat and tosses it out across the murky water. It lands with a specific and yet sad little plop before disappearing below the surface. She watches the way his cigarette smoke rises up to wreathe around his curls a little wild tousled today. It’s a little ironic that she could see him as a dragon, and maybe there’s some Mokolé blood in his family tree, as much as there is shark in hers. But he’s still reserved enough that he doesn’t stick his converse down over the side of the decrepit little dock they’re on. To be fair, his legs are far longer, far too close to the dark, algae choked surface. He’s never had his calf nearly torn right off the bone and probably doesn’t need that experience. Not with his hand in the state it’s in, the way cold and weariness make his bones and joints ache with nothing to compensate for it.

And that’s the point where she realises that now she’s just stalling, letting herself drift along the paths of thought, further and further away from the question asked. So she breathes out a sigh and allows a soft curve settle to her lips that is neither exactly a smile or even a smaller grin. It’s something along the lines of patience made manifest, her natural inclination toward indulging Anakin, and it’s also...tired. The kind of thing that appears when she’s worked herself to the bone and hasn’t slept for days but continues to push herself until she’s at the exact point of inevitable collapse. And how often does she do that more and more these days. Doesn’t even try to make it to her room when he’s just as comfortable as his bed and far warmer even if it’s a slightly unhealthy symptom of his body’s attempt to keep his extremities in life-giving blood. She leans back, wiggling her toes out in front of her, though her legs are still covered by the broom-skirt she’s wearing, arms bracing herself from behind, slick and red, sure to leave prints she’ll have to clean up before they leave.  “I don’ t’ink dis really a fair question, Anakin. I mean... dere’s factors. A precise synt’esis would define culture as a body of ideas; norms, rules, standards, values, an’ beliefs. So dat different cultures would derefore have different moral an’ et’ical impact. An’ mebbe even between one generation an’ anoddah, like dem boomers an’ millennials. I mean, you an’ me are kinda li’dat too, as technically I’m a millennial an’ you’re Gen Z. Between all people dere’s dis enforced, learned social norm dat are symbolically an’ practically reinforced an’ referenced in displays dat signal adherence to any specific system. Now, I know ya no talk story about all kine people, ya specifically aks me ‘bout my own issue an’ I guess...” She trails off trying to regather herself. When she speaks again she does that thing she does when she thinks something is important enough to give him the best chance of understanding her, but that slows her speech, gives it a brittle edge.

“Even as hapa ~being half Hawai’ian~ my mother taught me about kuleana. Loosely translated it means “responsibility”. It’s dis concept of reciprocal relationships between the person who is responsible, an’ the things or persons they are responsible for. As Hawai’ians, we have a kuleana to our ‘aina, our land. To care for it and to respect it, and in return... the land has the kuleana to feed, shelter and clothe us. Through that relationship we maintain balance within society and with the natural environment. But you look at the world and everything is for sale, raped by greed and the need to consume. To conform. This... this is a sign of what my uncle’s people call the Apocalypse, but not like in disaster movies. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll tell you all about that.

“Another concept is...Pono. There’s no real translation for it, it’s a concept that incorporates many things. But many people use it to imply righteousness, but not like the way it’s used in society today. For us, anyway, it’s a very strong cultural and spiritual concept for a state of harmony and balance. So you can see how they relate? By accepting your kuleana and making sure you act on them in the right way, you are living pono. Living pono means to make a conscious decision to do the right thing in terms of self, others, and the environment. And we make no distinction between human and animal or plant, in that way.” She slants that hazel gaze toward him via one eye slitted open to make sure he’s following along.  “And I don’t mean that cutting down a tree is the same as say murder. But in a way, it is. You are killing something that was alive. You are taking its mana. If you do it with proper thanks and reverence, if you ensure that you are doing it sustainably, to feed yourself or build a shelter for your family, then you’re behaving within your kuleana. But clear-cutting an entire rain-forest so you can build a luxury golf-course and resort, displacing thousands and thousands of indigenous wild life and polluting the waters and destroying layers and layers of earth, not to mention the risk of exposing entire tribes of people who have no natural resistance to what are common, immunised illnesses? That is no different than slaughtering those very same lives in a far more expedient way. And I don’t know if you think I’m crazy, or if I am over-simplifying the tragedy that we as an entire world of people are creating and contributing to but you can see...the earth herself is restless. She is angry. And those throes of agony ~the global warming, the spirits crying out, the violence and disease...they are all symptoms of that anger, because people as a whole have lost their way. They trust too much in technology and in coping mechanisms that only breed more trouble...”

She’s momentarily lost in the weeds, but there’s no denying the passion in her voice as it trembles with pure and unbridled rage at society’s ills. And not just the ones that have landed on the Sleepers whom they are, in their own ways, charged with protecting, but the ones amongst their own kind and those of the others. “So I suppose, the dilemma I just cannot begin to understand is...with so much happening, and the world around us vanishing with every breath...why are we unable to reach an understanding. Why do we have to fight this war about whose mana is bigger, is better than someone else’s. And not just the Traditions ourselves. Our infighting is bad but we can typically talk things out. I specifically mean this war with the Technocrats. Their science isn’t doing much to improve lives these days and more and more people are looking for alternatives, for the Old Ways. Why not work with us instead of trying to kill or imprison us? Or why can’t some of us... Verbena and Dreamspeakers... some of you Euthanatos- why can’t we make a pact with the Wolfkin. Or the last of the lizard kings-” She glances askance at him a second time in a very playful and knowing fashion. Which is disturbing considering the nature of the remains in the ice chest she was tossing into the water just moments ago. “It isn’t like some of us hasn’t been busy keeping their kin fed. So I think just like the Traditions coming together, or the Technocrats forming their union, maybe it’s time we put political and spiritual beliefs to the side and just work together for the things we want. We’re all really trying to fight the same enemy, and I promise it isn’t you, and it isn’t me and it isn’t Bil..it isn’t any one person. There is evil out there. Real, terrifying evil. Take this guy. What he did to those kids...He was a disease. And like the healer I am and like...like the man you will some day become, we did what was right, for everyone.” Beth shudders then shakes her head.  “I don’t even know how to answer your question, or if I did. All I can say is...there’s no part of me that has any shame for the way I live my life, and therefore there’s no moral dilemma. But if one comes up, I promise you’ll be the first line of defense for my understanding and sanity.”

[enkisstories]

The CyberLife app - Install today

One dark and dreary night during the android revolution of 2038, an RK800 android infiltrated the headquarter of the deviant androids. It delivered the unconscious deviant leader and his followers to the FBI, represented by one Richard Perkins.

“You knocked it out?” Perkins prodded. “Strange… our profile says you’re more agile than actually strong.“

“No, North knocked him out”, RK800 corrected the assumption.

“Wow. Their infighting must be worse than we anticipated. Neat!”

“Actually, no”, the RK800 said. “This isn’t quite how it happened.”

And the android remembered…

 Earlier the same day, at the Detroit Central Police station:

“I could swear it’s a deviant!” Gavin Reed repeated for the perhaps tenth time today. “That’s not normal, it going…”

“Looooook”, Tina Chen interrupted her friend, “if you are worried THAT much, just ask Hank to check Connor’s status in the CyberLife app.”

“That’s bulls… no, actually it’s not a bad idea”, Gavin conceded.

The “wanted for [insert crime]” and “missing our android, the kids are devasted, large finder’s fee!” notices were piling up at the DPD, something that shouldn’t have been possible, because every android came with an app that among other things tracked the damn things 24/7. But for some obscure reasons the tracking function failed when the android in question had went deviant. So if Connor was still showing up in the app… admittedly it could also mean that he had hacked the phone the little program was running on. But even so checking the app was a good start.

However, Hank only gave the two younger officers a blank stare when they inquired about the app.

“I haven’t got the fuggiest idea what you are talking about.”

“The CyberLife app! Come on, now! Everyone has it installed – Chris, Tina, me… it’s essential for managing your android, whether you bought it or got saddled with it as a product sample.”

“Uh-uh. That shit isn’t going anywhere near my phone”, Hank noped out.

But at least, the other two realized, he had confirmed to own a smartphone. Even Chris Miller, who was holding Hank Anderson in great regard, bordering on hero-worship, had come to doubt whether his idol bothered with owning such a devilish piece of modern technology.

“You want to tell me we have no means of controlling the new android?!” Gavin exploded. “Even if it’s a temporary loan only, we should have it registered in our equipment database!”

“Ah, should we? That’s nice…” Hank replied non-committally.

“You… you…” Gavin sputtered.

“The word you’re looking for is “You useless sack o’shit that will polish my snout if I do not go pester someone else RIGHT NOW””, Hank said, going from cheerfully-helpful to a low, threatening growl.

A minute later Gavin stormed Captain Fowler’s office, demanding the control codes for the RK800 android.

“I’ve mailed those to Hank”, the Captain started, before understanding dawned. “I’ve… mailed… them to… Hank. Oh, right. I see.” The sentence included to words that were utterly incompatible: Lieutenant Anderson and reading his own e-mails. With a nod and a few clicks Fowler forwarded the e-mail to Gavin’s work account. “There you go! Anything else?”

“Nah, nothing. Thanks.”

The Captain shook his head. Hank and Gavin! Android haters both of them, only Hank wanted the machines gone, poof into nothingness as if they’d never existed, while Gavin was mainly feeling threatened in his job-security and perceived awesomeness.

Much to Gavin’s dismay entering Connor into the database didn’t produce irregularities of any kind. That annoying, ugly thing was stable as fuck. But if there were no grounds for returning it to Cyberlife, maybe the situation could still work in Gavin’s favor…?

“This, Tina”, the man said with a grin while loading the CyberLife app on his own phone, “is where the fun begins! First we call over our new device…”

One push of a button and thirty seconds later Connor reported for service.

“Cute”, Tina said, then leaned over to get a good look at Gavin’s phone screen. “Can you make it follow wherever you point the phone? That would be kinda cool.”

“No”, Gavin answered, the same split-second Connor protested with a louder “No!”.

“But even so… let’s put it into customization mode!”

This time Connor only came to utter the “N” of “No” before he stiffened, awaiting the changes the program would force onto him by the will of his (temporary) legitimate owners.

“What the fuck, I cannot change that visage? On a detective android that might need to infiltrate locations?” Gavin wondered. “Stupid prototype! Okay, next is… ah, right. The damn voice.”

“RK800’s voice has been carefully selected to generate positive feelings and a warm welcome into any workplace situation”, the CyberLife app chattered away. “It is considered ideal. Are you sure you want to change the voice now? Y/N”

“Yes!” Tina called, grabbing the phone from Gavin’s hands. She circled through several voices before she selected one. “Perfect! And now the name… Connor is the default, time to change that!”

Gavin watched with interested what would happen next.

With a subtle “whirr” the RK800 android returned from maintenance mode.

“I am Ferdinand von Aegir!“ he proclaimed, a phrase that made Tina explode with laughter. “The android sent by Cyberlife. And you are silly.”

“Yes, yes! Do it again!”

When Connor von Aegir wasn’t inclined to do Tina’s bidding, the officer pushed the “test” button in the app. Promptly Connor went “I am Ferdinand von Aegir” again.

“That’s a meme?” Gavin asked.

“Haha, yes! Or it used to be one when we were teens. But you never were much of a gamer, huh?”

Tina handed the phone back. “You next!” she prompted her friend.

Predictably Gavin changed “Ferdinand”’s name to “Dipshit” and also made ample use of the test-button. Only when Hank came ‘round the corner, shouting for the “stupid, useless sardine tin”, did the duo revert the voice change. Gavin also typed something new into the name box that Tina could not see.

The android no longer going by “Connor” didn’t come to light anytime soon, because Hank had a rich pool of casual insults for it that could be used instead of an individual name.

Until RK800 found itself on the lower deck of the freighter “Jericho”, facing the deviant leader…

 Markus slowly turned around when he heard footsteps approach. He beheld the RK800 in its disguise and heard it say in its upbeat voice: “I am Your Daddy. Submit and follow me!”

“Is that a joke?!” Markus sputtered.

“No, this is very serious. I am Your Daddy, the android sent by Cyberlife…”

“That’s, uh, nice of Cyberlife. Yes, I really appreciate the gesture…”

This is probably meant as a distraction technique to throw me off? the deviant leader wondered. Out loud he said: “I’m an off-brand imitator product though. Not from Cyberlife.”

“I was instructed to bring you alive!” Connor chirped.

Markus hesitated. “By the person who named you?” he asked very carefully.

“No.”

“Ah, good!” Markus said with visible relief. “Well, maybe you and me can come to an understanding of a less… sensual nature?”

 Ten minutes later Markus introduced the RK800 to his friends:

“Hey, guys, this here is a new recruit. New one – meet North! North – meet Your Daddy!”

And that was the last thing Markus said for quite some time, because North punched him so hard that he temporarily shut down.

 Back in the present the captured deviants were still squabbling amongst each other, despite standing  with their hands behind their heads and lined up for transport to the recycling yards.

“That’s not fair!” an android wearing the old Cyberlife standard face protested, at which Perkins snapped “Shut up, tin can!“, but the blonde android retorted that he hadn’t been talking to the human, but to North.

“It really wasn’t fair of you”, the android addressed North. “Yes, you and Markus have been drifting apart and I admit in part this happened because of me, but even though your couple thing wouldn’t work out, he always had you in his mind. It was so kind of Markus to find you a new boyfriend, but what did you do? Punch him!”

This one, Perkins concluded, must be a BL100, a “perfect partner”. Even after deviating and  in the face of getting scrapped it was still obsessing about relationships. Oh, well, that would be Cyberlife’s problem in a few minutes, no longer his.

“Okay, that should wrap tonight’s operation up”, Perkins nodded. “Connor, was it?”

“Ah, no, actually I am Your Worst Nightmare Motherfucker… what the hell? Oh, no, they must be playing with the app again! I’m sorry, I…”

“You aren’t my worst nightmare, then?” Perkins sneered.

Already the man’s fingers were twitching, ready to draw his service pistol at this unpredictable prototype. It had served its purpose, after all.

“Then enlighten me, who or what are you?”

RK800 opened its mouth the exact same moment Gavin and Tina at the DPD were cracking up over another idea for a cool name that had just occurred to them. “I am A Deviant”, he said. “What? No I’m not! I am C… R… A Deviant! A Deviant! Oh, shit…”

There was no time to explain, because Perkins had already hissed “Should have known!” and opened fire. Simon, Josh, North and A Deviant dived for cover, dragging the unconscious Markus with them.

And the rest is history.

[davidmann95]

Thoughts on team JNPR? Mainly Nora really, I love all my children, but she really is my favorite

JNPR fills its role well: they’re never going to be center stage for long, they’re not the group the show’s named after, but they’re backup payers with lives and stakes all their own that establish how much everything that’s going on matters to those outside our immediate main characters, and can serve to either act as counterpoints to them or take point themselves in the rare circumstances where RWBY proper don’t have much to bounce off of. While no one of them on their own drives the story to the same extent as the four leads, their collective journey is as central as any in the series.

Jaune’s maybe the most interesting, purely because at the start he’s kind of the Worst, but he evolves into maybe the most pointed and crushingly sympathetic articulation of the series’ themes. Not that he’s some sort of awful human being in his first appearance - I mean, no more so than any other 17 year old, though it’s easy to have seen him turning out a not-so-pleasant person under different circumstances - but he grates hard, especially with the come-ons to Weiss. But in that regard he’s actually just as important an audience identification figure as Ruby, just from the opposite end: he’s the fan who grew up on stories but didn’t learn all the right lessons, even if by his basic nature he’s a decent-hearted dude who wants to help. Even as the dopey well-meaning dork (which is probably what makes him so valuable an audience surrogate for learning this lesson given the fans likely to be watching him) his entire story is about toxic masculinity - he’d rather endanger and humiliate himself and push away the first person to ever believe in him rather than admit he can’t be a Cool Male Lead Protagonist, but with support and love he’s able to pull his head out of his ass and figure out how to properly care for himself and those around him the way he wants to, even coming to his biggest self-realizations on his own. When he loses Pyrrha he quietly shuts down almost entirely for 3 seasons to stew in his heartbreak and guilt, with most of the rare instances of breaking that silence aside from standard friendly banter being sharp little moments of pain unmasked. He internalizes and tries to remain stoic and ‘heroic’ to force himself onwards until it nearly gets him killed, and the only solution is to finally realize he’s not culpable for others’ decisions and fully accept the love of those still in his life. His story is one of constantly getting out of his own way and over an unattainable unhealthy macho ideal, and in so doing he’s become the hero he set out to be; he’s the character who’s there to learn the lessons of the show.

Also I fully support his absolutely terrible new haircut, because I can 100% believe that on the road to recovery he would think “Okay, life isn’t so bad - I’m doing better, I still have people who love me, I’m becoming who I’ve always wanted to be! Heck, I’m kinda cool at this point after all...so maybe if I try being cool this time it’ll work out better?” and then that happens.

Nora and Ren sort of have to be discussed together. Not because they’re not distinct from one another - they’re the *most* distinct, that’s the entire point of them - or even because they’re not good in isolation, but because what works so well about each of them is most plainly displayed around each other. They’re a simple, charming dynamic of boisterous fun lady/quiet wise dude until you learn about Kuroyuri and see the ways they let their guard down with each other when on their own, and understand how much of his discipline and reserved disposition are in response to his trauma, while her *everything* is reveling in having all that she didn’t grow up with and holding on as tight as she can (really, she might be the most emotionally well-adjusted character in the series). There’s this casual unforced tenderness with the two of them, and eventually letting Jaune all the way into their little family when he needs them most is one of the most powerful moments in the series. Though I could see their story being essentially done pending another shakeup - unless they really want to go into Nora’s background or their presumed years on the road together, but while interesting I don’t know that it’s necessary - they’re enduringly valuable members of the group dynamic and some of the easiest characters to root for. And Boop is top ten songs in the series, maybe top 5.

Finally there’s Pyrrha, who’s a fundamentally brilliant idea from jump: the translation of the great, noble and honorable golden knight archetype to a context where sword-wielding mythic heroes are common enough that there’s a high school for them is a really nice but kinda awkward high-achiever who’s been pushed into a celebrity she never asked for. And of course it’s the audience surrogate in Jaune who’s learning about this world alongside us who doesn’t know her any more than we do and therefore just regards her as another member of the cast unlike everyone else in her life. Watching the two of them slowly tear down each others’ barriers - his insecurities and overcompensating, her uncertainty and exacting composure forced on her by circumstance - and seeing the best in each other as they were the first to come to one another blind is a simple arc but maybe the best executed of those original 3 volumes, and that love story and her inherent nobility gives her ultimately having to do what heroes often do the emotional force necessary to be the primal underlying loss propelling the journey from there on out. Her role going forward is for me one of the biggest question marks the show has to offer: Lost provides what would seem a resolution for JNR, but as noted, she and what her loss represents are SO fundamental that it really *can’t* be the last time it comes up in a major way when there are still at least several seasons remaining. Whether the emotions and consequences of her passing are going to be dug up further, or if a resurrection could in fact be in the cards (which I wouldn’t necessarily be opposed to given some odd details of her death in the first place and that it’s certainly possible to imagine it being done well, but that would be a frighteningly fine needle to thread without pulling apart so much of what works about these characters and themes; really, the possibilities and risks there would be a whole other piece unto itself), she’s central in life and death alike as an ideal, as a champion and a martyr and a friend, that every other hero remains silently defined against.

[bxstiae]

⚜ ; [ TWILI LANGUAGE / HC.4  ]     WORLDBUILDING │ LANGUAGE LANG. POSTS: HYLIAN /

alright, so... in my last post about the hylian language. i talk about like.... its roots and what it would really sound like phonetic wise and whatnot. && if you haven’t read it, then go ahead and click the ‘hylian’ link above. I do go into some detail about it. but to sum it up: it’s latin based. granted thats a lot to really cover and very generalised but i mean i can’t go into detail about the different dialects of all hylian. just know that there are different dialects of hylian: zelda speaks differently than link as link was raised in a village in ordon and zelda is a princess and comes from a different region. ganon also speaks a bit differently since he is gerudo and yet from ANOTHER region.... like all three of them speak hylian: but they have different words & phrases. but... i mean in general hylian is latin based with a bit of japanese and/or arabic in there too ( it just depends on region )

but i want to talk about midna speech && the twili language! cause it is different! all going under a read more cause i don’t know how long this will be.

as always, you guys are free to look at this, but please try not to take what i’ve researched without asking. with the twili language, i have a lot of sources that i’m looking at. a majority (if not all) of this stuff i have written is stuff that i have made ( or at least taken into consideration for ). The videos/people i source just happen to she the same exact thoughts and can put it into better words than i can.

PLEASE DO NOT TAKE OR USE WITHOUT PERMISSION. DO NOT REBLOG OR REUSE THIS FOR YOUR OWN HC. 

regardless of game. 

I work hard on my HCs, i do not want this to be snatched up. if you want to discuss, then lets discuss. I have similar HC for many of the LOZ games mainly in Skyward Sword & Breath of the Wild. I am more than willing to share if you come and discuss with me. otherwise, DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING from this post without permission.

The other day i found this page. while i always kinda knew that midna talking was always garbled & scrambled, i never really had the patience to really.... sit down and look for actual videos where they unscrambled midna’s lines. that and i honestly forgot too cause it’s been a hot minute since i played tp.... so im glad this was actually on my recommended the other day -- it’s like chrome knows that i am looking for things like this.....

anyway.... so i bring it up to attention cause i had been honestly looking for resources & stuff for the twili language. I mentioned that it was a little primitive in nature because it is! i just didn’t know how to correctly consider it without straying TOO far from canon. i like to make meta out of stuff that’s formed from the game. but like to go into more detail about it. 

anyway. like i said. twili is technically still considered hylian! its.... like how midna’s voice suggests.... very scrambled/jumbled. it’s not backwards per say... its... just jumbled! it’s a bit like... typoglycemia but the phonetic version of it. ( if there is a phonetic version of it ). mind you, this is NOT the same as the twili language written out. twili has its OWN scriptures!!! that’s different than hylian!!! just that their SPEECH is garbled/jumbled. 

Think of it like.... in Spy Kids. when they make the clones?? yea and they can’t talk so it sounds garbled?? LIKE THIS. yea exactly like that. okay but here: have that video that shows midna talking though:

she.... just.... i love her... anyway.. so yea. anyway...

the twili language is really weird cause their speech patterns are very.... different. it’s not as... sophisticated as the standard hylian but that’s because it’s more ancient & didn’t have much to evolve over the years. it’s pretty standard comparing it to the more.... older languages. but yea. 

also another side thing to conisder, because i said this in my last post:

Let’s also not forget that i also mentioned that twili is a FORM of hylian ( so possibly you can see latin & arabic roots there ). But we aren’t talking about twili language this is strictly hylian. so back to hylian.

Now without really talking all that much about the gerudo ( cause honestly..... thats also a language/dialect in itself ), let me present you guys with this theory video:

to sum it up: the video considers that.... the twili are gerudo or at least have some part of gerudo in them ( mixed races, etc. etc. etc. ) It also brings up the idea that.... Gerudo are capable of magic, which the twili are known for ( in this case it is dark magic ). Its a bit of a stretch, and im going down an even deeper rabbit hole, but i bring this up because.... i do, in fact, see twili to be a bit more arabic than any other language at least in TP.

so... say it simply: twili is a garbled-ish form of arabic with some latin roots.

Lets also look at the fact that the twili world can only be entered through a MIRROR. a world in a state of perpetual dusk. a world that is on the opposite side of the coin. in a way... a world almost like a mirror to hyrule: but smaller and... a bit different. whats funny is that in english ( or latin ) words are written from left to right. and justified left. arabic: to my knowledge, is the the other way around. and in manga: the correct way to read things is from right to left. 

IM not saying that the twilight language is a BACKWARDS language. cause it’s not. it’s way more complex than that, but you cannot look at it directly in the normal way. I bring it up cause the scriptures... are very different than hylain. while it may be easier to understand what a twili says, it’s HARD to read what what they’ve written. because its.... not normal.

twili do not write or read in straight lines. Midna, when she comes to hyrule, understands that hylians write in straight lines. and she can pick it up cause... its... different... and honestly easier despite it’s sophistication. 

but thats the difference!! normal hylian is simple & easy cause it isn’t all over the place. Twili honestly is what a 4 or 5 year old would draw or write. i.e.: it’s all over the place. I would show you some twili font, however, i cannot due to the fact that there isn’t much. and by that i mean, there is literally nothing that i can go off of. however, I would like to show you guys this:

This is the CURTAIN OF TWILIGHT. while i don’t think it was their intention to make this look like a language let alone words ( i think they just tried to make it seem look archaic ), i do have to say that the twili language LOOKS like this. by this, i mean that its everywhere. there isn’t a single line for it. it’s.... everywhere. normal people wouldn’t be able to read twili: they would consider it just scribbles and random designs. however, twili can read it. I would have to look for a comic that shows link looking around and finding twilight artefacts, but its a lot like the cave art that we have in places that bring up our own ancestors.

an artist actually...??? made up their own design for a twili font that i actually like?? HERE is that link for the font. and I really do like how they have the radicalised twili syntax because it’s very, VERY similar to how i would probably want to see the twili written as. Please know that this is Undying Nephalim’s tribute to the twilight language. this isn’t something that i made or even discussed with them. I just found this like months ago. i am using it as a guide to show you what i can see twili looking like. 

i’ll end it here for now cause im kinda at a lostt to what else i should say but.... please feel free to let me know what you guys think and if you guys like this. I’m sure i’ll have more some other time.

[tyrantisterror]

Oh Fuck I’m TV Troping: A Short & Incomplete List of Bad Girls

Since that whole post about Bad Girls and Compassionate Male Heroes kinda blew up and the discussion just... isn’t stopping, I’ve been thinking of this trope a lot and uh, I guess I’m gonna list a bunch of examples of it since I’ve kinda been doing it already and it’d be nice to have them all in one spot I guess.  Gonna put a cut because even though I don’t want to make a huge list, I still think this is gonna be long.

4 Tried and True Bad Girls -  the following fit the archetype as I roughly defined it here pretty much to the letter.  Of course, the thing about archetypes and tropes is that you don’t have to hit every single detail to still “count,” but it’s good to have a baseline.

Jessie

A member of an international crime syndicate, a notorious thief, and a recurring antagonist for the hero, Jessie from Pokemon is an excellent example of the Bad Girl trope because if you remove female pronouns while describing her, she basically fits the stock Bad Boy traits to a T.  Aggressive and arrogant?  Check.  Prone to violent outbursts?  Check.  Intensely jealous of people who seem to have it easier?  Check.  Hidden tender side and tragic backstory?  Check.  Also she’s one half of the greatest romantic couple ever portrayed in fiction - and her counterpart is a compassionate, sweet-natured guy to boot!

Ryoko

I’m not going to fill this up with anime examples (though I probably could - Bad Girls are much more common in Japanese media), but I couldn’t resist including Ryoko, because she’s not just a Bad Girl - she’s a PIRATE, which, if my grandma’s collection of romance novels was anything to go by, is an incredibly popular occupation for a Bad Boy to have!  More than that, she’s a space pirate, the plunderer of countless worlds, wanted by the space police force and considered a villain of legendary power.  More than that, she can wield store brand lightsabers, shoot lasers out of her hands, and even spent a good chunk of time as a mummy!  Ryoko’s personality is pure Dashing Rogue, the Bad Boy Girl who’s definitely a scoundrel but, maybe, just maybe, the kind of scoundrel who’s got a good heart.  She definitely pines for love and an amount of stability, though she doesn’t want to stop traveling the stars as a boozing adventurer who gets into the most ludicrous scrapes.  Everything about Ryoko plays up the ideas of a Bad Boy romance with the flair for drama and fantasy that a space opera can provide, except the Bad Boy is a girl and the sweet ingenue heroine is a boy.

Ryoko is who you wish Jack Sparrow would be.

Faith

Faith was introduced as a second Slayer in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which was the result of magical shenanigans that suddenly rendered the whole “there can only be one slayer at a time” rule kinda moot.  Ok that’s an extremely abbreviated summary and it’s really more complicated than that but I can already feel the non-Buffy fans falling asleep so let’s stay focused.

Since Buffy is, y’know, the main character, Faith was brought on to be her foil - an example of what Buffy wasn’t, but possibly could become.  And since BtVS was a horror dramedy, Faith wasn’t a GOOD alternative - she was, explicitly, Buffy’s dark counterpart, from her brunette hair to her heavy and darker makeup to her rad leather jacket and, as the show frequently said, “slutty” wardrobe.  Faith was more violent, more sexual, and more apathetic to others than Buffy was, and holy fuck did the show just hate her for it.  Almost every character in it treated her like shit, with her sexuality in particular being a sticking point for many of them.

Faith is particularly interesting because she differs from Buffy (and the female cast at large) in almost the exact same ways that the show’s main Bad Boys, Angel and Spike, differed from its male characters - more violent, more sexual, darker clothes, etc.  But while Angel and Spike get a great deal of sympathy from the narrative, Faith... didn’t.  I mean they kinda sorta gave her some eventually, but most of it played out in the spinoff Angel, and the other characters continued to hold a grudge against her.  Faith isn’t just an good example of the Bad Girl trope - she’s an example of how the reaction to Bad Girls differs from the reaction to Bad Boys, despite them being almost exactly the same.

Vriska Serket

OH FUCK IT’S HOMESTUCK

Ok, everyone still hates Homestuck, so I won’t belabor this point, but Vriska Serket, who is infamously the most divisive character in the entire story, is absolutely a bad girl.  Arrogant, ruthless, abrasive, with a tragic backstory, a desire for both compassion and redemption, and a truly ambitious schemer, she ticks so many boxes and OH SHIT SHE’S ALSO A PIRATE.  Like Faith, Vriska was in a story that had a lot of examples of Bad Boys too, and while the fandom fucking HATES Vriska, her Bad Boy counterparts are nowhere near as divisive, with one of them being extremely popular despite being a clown who murders people.  The other one explicitly wants to commit genocide, literally saying almost exactly that, and is also far more well liked.  WHY IS THIS?

But enough of the homestucks!  Let’s move onto some...

Borderline Bad Girls - these ladies don’t fit the trope quite as neatly, but I still think they capture the jist, or at least used it as a base before experimenting in different directions.  They are, at the very least, closer to the Bad Girl archetype than its sibling tropes, the Badass Heroine and the Femme Fatale.

Jessica Jones

I’m just gonna talk about the Netflix incarnation of this character, as I have not read the comic books featuring Jessica Jones and thus cannot comment on them.

The only real strike against Jessica Jones is that she isn’t a supporting cast member, like pretty much all other Bad Girls are.  She’s the protagonist, the titular main character.  That’s a unique honor for a Bad Girl to have!  Otherwise, she fits - hard drinking, abrasive, rude, surly as hell, but with a tender heart, a tragic backstory, and a desire for redemption.  Hell she’s even wearing the Bad Girl leather jacket.

Morrigan

Ok, we’re straying a bit far here, but I’m going to try to make a case here.  Morrigan’s rudeness and abrasiveness isn’t quite as bombastic as the standard take on the Bad Girl trope - she actually phrases things very politely and speaks very softly most of the time, and is generally cordial to people when they are cordial to her.  It’s the content of what she says, rather than the way she says it, that sets most people off.  There’s also an odd naivety to Morrigan’s interactions that isn’t immediately noticeable because her vocabulary is so, well, verbose.  She doesn’t make the “ill tempered thug” impression most Bad Girls make when they’re first introduced - she instead comes off as very sophisticated yet oddly ignorant of the civilized world, which is a very different starting point for a Bad Girl.

BUT!  Morrigan’s character arc follows the rough path of a Bad Girl.  She verbalizes a lot of callous and cruel ideas about the world when you first meet her, giving the impression that she is some sort of sadistic monster.  It’s done in a very different way than the standard Bad Boy/Bad Girl, but it has the same effect - you are led to think this girl is a Bad Person very early on.  And yes, to some extent she is - but, just like any other Bad Boy/Bad Girl, her actions later on show that’s not all there is to her, that, even if she isn’t aware of it, there is a loving core to Morrigan - she wants to be good.

Like most Bad Boys/Bad Girls, it’s eventually revealed that Morrigan’s childhood situation was NOT GREAT, and that she has been the victim of abuse and some very bad parenting.  A great deal of her wickedness isn’t inherent to her, but something she was indoctrinated into - and, in TRUE Bad Boy/Bad Girl fashion, love, especially romantic love, makes her doubt her view of the world.  It begins to break apart, and she gradually learns, to her confusion, horror, and eventually, hope, that there is another way to live - a better, kinder way.

One might argue that Morrigan doesn’t fit the Bad Girl trope, but another villainous female archetype instead.  For instance, one might say she is instead a Femme Fatale, since she dresses all sexy like and whatnot - but Morrigan doesn’t really seduce people all that often in the narrative.  Early on in the first Dragon Age game you have an option to ask her to seduce a guard, and Morrigan not only reacts in disgust, but instead horrifies the guard into letting you by instead (because Morrigan is great).  The only time she does seduce someone is specifically to keep the main characters from an otherwise inevitable death via a dark magic ritual - and yes it does feel ridiculous to type that out, but 1. it makes more sense in context and 2. I think the ridiculous circumstances of this seduction kinda illustrates why it’s not really a core character trait of hers, which is why she doesn’t fit the Femme Fatale mold.  Likewise, while one could say she fits the idea of a Vain Sorceress... well, other than being pretty and using magic, Morrigian really doesn’t.  She’s not motivated by preserving her youth, and doesn’t really seem to care much for traditional beauty standards at all if her conversation with Leliana is anything to go by (though she does meet them anyway because, well, Video Games).  Morrigan doesn’t really fit any villainous female archetype perfectly, but if we accept her as a Bad Girl, she makes for a particularly interesting example.

Hexadecimal

Straying further!  Like Morrigan, one might be tempted to put Hexadecimal in the Vain Sorceress or Femme Fatale archetypes instead, but again, like Morrigan, she really doesn’t act like either of those two despite being a sexy lady who uses magic for villainous ends.  Instead she’s defined by being the sort of superhero/action adventure cartoon variety of “crazy,” which isn’t based on any real mental illness, but rather an excuse for her to cause a lot of mayhem for no real reason.  Unlike most “crazy” villains, though, Hex’s insanity is treated with sympathy by the narrative and the main hero - while most people would be willing to write Hex off as someone they’d rather live without, Bob, the hero, continually tries to reason with her and help her overcome her madness.

Most people wrote her off as a lost cause, but the hero showed her compassion.  There’s smackings of a Bad Boy in that.

As the show goes on, Bob’s compassion for Hexadecimal is repaid with her own affection, and she slowly turns from villain to hero out of a desire to not only keep Bob safe, but make sure he’s happy - and she comes to realize he can’t be happy without the people he loves.  Hex becomes a truly tragic and noble character towards the end of the show, as she knows Bob will never reciprocate her romantic affections but still remains on his side anyway, even saving the lives of people who argued against saving her.  A villain who seems like a frothing mad dog, only to be turned into a hero after the compassion of a hero makes them realize the value of human life?  That’s is SUCH a Bad Boy arc.  Hexadecimal may not fit some of the aesthetic trappings of the Bad Girl archetype, but her arc fits it perfectly.

Harley Quinn

When she was first introduced, Harley Quinn wasn’t a Bad Girl so much as she was, like, the perky love interest of a bad guy.  She wasn’t given enough focus and agency in the narrative to really fit the Bad Girl archetype.  However, in recent years she’s been retooled a bit to work independently of the character she was designed to orbit, and as a result she may be our second example of a Bad Girl protagonist.  She’s a supervillain, or at least was, and was in league with one of the worst at that.  She’s loud and aggressive in combat, has a big bombastic personality, and revels in living an anarchic lifestyle.  But, as her solo series shows, she does have a good heart deep down, adopting stray dogs and helping out fellow weirdos who have been left behind by a world that doesn’t give a damn about them.  Harley Quinn is and has always been defined by her desire to be loved, which is very much a Bad Girl sort of trait - especially since that desire often leads to her acting out, just as most Bad Boys and Bad Girls act out because, ultimately, they haven’t been shown enough love.

Plus a lot of her modern designs add a leather jacket, and it just seems that once a girl wears a leather jacket she has at least a 70% chance of being a Bad Girl.

Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee

I had no idea where to put these ladies and whether or not they fit this archetype, but I felt they had to be noted because they’re very well known examples of complicated female villains who don’t fit the Femme Fatale archetype at all, which in turn makes them feel like pretty good candidates for Bad Girl-dom.  Azula probably fits the archetype the closest, though you don’t see her desire for compassion until VERY late in the series (where she is, sadly, too far gone to get her redemption).  Mai comes in close second, though her sullen demeanor oddly fits the Badass Heroine a bit better.  And then Ty Lee... Ty Lee... I mean she’s like an even sweeter and kinder Harley Quinn, she hardly even counts as a villain except she works with the bad guys... I don’t know what we do with Ty Lee, guys.  Ty Lee’s just her own thing.

[forthebetterevil]

my first exo concert!

just gonna detail my experience going to my first exo concert as a 1.5-year-old exol. this is the Singapore 190915 EXplOration concert, missing ksoo (my crown prince) and xiu (my second prince). (p.s. jun is my third prince so that’s why i bought his fan ---- my face when i realised i unknowingly stanned exo’s enlistment line after ksoo dropped the bomb on us: 😊🔫)

and still missing lay, of course (*rolls eyes at china*). it was a blast but i didn’t die too hard, probably because it’s just 6 of them haha. my throat still died from screaming so hard though.

in my rambling i shall cover details of the merch in the picture, and comments (babbling) on each member.

to my great fortune, i was seated in the middle of a middle block facing the stage. i didn’t want to attend the concert in the standing pen area because i prefer observing the group as a whole to being up and close with them but missing out on all the dance formations. i’m here forking over S$302 for a concert where i can’t see ksoo or xiu so... anyway even if they were here i would still prefer to sit and watch the full performance.

the black banner (which i still can’t read) was laid on every seat, and overleaf, exols were asked to hold this banner up during their ending ment. the community is really cute.

the eribong v.3 is pretty when lit up (more later). it came with the bottom right sticker set, and a random photocard. i managed to trade for a ksoo card in the end :-)

the 7th anniversary pink leather keychain is not part of concert merch, but it’s pretty so i threw it into the pic (only for this concert did i break it out of its box to attach it to my bag LOL)

[ksoo]

i got a ksoo ... vertical banner? thin poster? thing after the concert was over, when merchants were desperate to sell their unsold goods. of course there was a ton of baek yeol 5ehun jun and j0ngin merch, but i was surprised i didn’t see as much of dae than i did ksoo. perhaps dae’s merch already sold out?? anyway, i saw ksoo’s marie claire photo and IMMEDIATELY shuffled over to ask for the price, which wasn’t too bad ($5, which became $4 because the merchant didn’t have exact change)

[xiu]

i pasted a xiu name sticker on one side of the eribong, and ksoo on the other. doubles as a “yeah these are my first 2 princes″ and a “at least they’re still with me today in spirit” ... *bursts into tears*

for xiu’s merch, there was NOTHING except maybe a tiny photo of him bunched with other members’ photos. i kept asking “do you have xium1n?” *merchant who usually isn’t a fan is confused* “um... kim minse0k?” *?* “this one, *points to xiu in a group photo*, do you have?” *shows me a j0ngin pic* “ok nvm” this was extremely upsetting. but hey at least i got to see xiu in printed group photos. because...

[lay]

lay didn’t even make an APPEARANCE amongst the goods. rip xingmis. a fellow exol told me someone in the standing pen was waving a ZYX banner around though, so there’s still hope amongst the singaporean xingmis at least

[junmye0n]

i got a fan-produced jun fan before the concert because i didn’t know the venue was air-conditioned haha whoops.

during the concert, his second outfit (after the tempo perf) was a poofy white long-sleeved top and rather well-fitting black trousers/pants and lemme tell you.... HE’S PRINCE ERIC. HE’S SO HANDSOME AND HE’S SO NICE AND SWEET AND HIS ENGLISH WAS SO GOOD, LIKE, EVERYONE IS WHIPPED FOR KSOO’S ENGLISH BUT HONESTLY JUN REALLY TRIED TO COMMUNICATE TO US IN ENGLISH IT WAS AMAZING AND HE PUTS IN SO MUCH EFFORT AND HE SHOULD BE APPRECIATED MORE (and this is coming from a ksoo stan..). you have no idea how upset i was when everyone was screaming their heads off for the other 5 performing members during their little video interludes, but when jun came on screen, there were just screams. heads did not pop off. NO! WHAT IS THIS DISRESPECT AND UNDERAPPRECIATION???!!!! i screamed my head off for him but one person alone can’t make up for the difference... jun was so nice and kept waving and making eye contact with the audience, doing cute poses for us here and there, being his little awkward leader self (as SM boy band leaders seem to do...), and basically tanking the transitions between performances. christ. also he freakin CARRIED the backing vocals AND the main vocals (i mean dae and baek too but everyone already explicitly appreciates them so i don’t need to give them special mention for carrying). he is ALWAYS being slept on, and it’s just not doing him justice. what the hell. junmye0n deserves the world :-(

for his BEEN THROUGH 👀👀👀👀 performance, he told us he decided to change the shirt colour to red because he thought it would match Singapore well (or something along those lines). like. WOW????? THANK YOU FOR EVEN CONSIDERING MY COUNTRY IS WORTH NOTICING TO CHANGE YOUR OUTFIT???? i hope i’m not sounding sarcastic - it’s such a small action but i felt a little touched?? like wow, he noticed.

my binoculars was glued on him half the time. he’s so handsome and pretty at the same time. part of the reason why i still went was to see if everyone’s claims that “suh0’s pictures don’t do him justice” were legitimate because when i first saw jun′s pic (i forgot which exact one), i literally thought, “that’s the handsomest man i’ve ever seen”. so i suppose the claim depends on angles. because ALL of em look like their pictures - their GOOD-ANGLE pictures. MEANING, jun looks as good as his best photos (which tend to be the ones where he faces straight to the front), but now he looks good from whichever angle in motion. he is actually very fair-skinned too! his face was like a beacon of light.

also, in his first ment greeting us, he was such a cheeseball saying our country is beautiful... like us. JUNMYE0N PLEASE.

nearing the end of the concert HE TOLD US NOT TO CRY (along with j0ngin or yeol, can’t remember). THEY’RE GONNA SING THEIR LAST SONG, BUT IT’S NOT GOING TO BE THEIR LAST SONG, BECAUSE THEY’LL ALWAYS BE IN OUR HEARTS, RIGHT? HJAGKN;KLSKGKS :”””””(

so to reiterate: i have the biggest soft spot for junmye0n and i love him.

[5ehun]

OH, DURING ONE SONG, 5EHUN CAME OVER TO RUB HIS HEAD ON JUN’S CHEST, AND I WAS LIKE AAAWWWW!!!!! and died. but jun’s back was facing me so i more or less couldn’t see much. after the concert, i found out that  5EHUN TRIED TO LIFT JUN’S SHIRT TO SHOW HIS ABS DURING THE NUZZLE. so i revived and died again. there were a lot of other small interactions too. seho stans won tonight.

below are some of my friend’s standing pen privilege pics:

what i could see from my seat behind -

what i DIDN’T KNOW 5EHUN TRIED FOR A HOT SECOND:

seho stan: *dies*

anyway... i wasn’t paying close attention to 5ehun during group performances (other than when it was his solo dance break and exo-sc perfs), tho i felt like he wasn’t as “engaged” as, say, jun or yeol. but i thought that was normal because yaknow... he’s not very talkative, and i was probably getting that impression just from his naturally stern (rbf LOL) face. 

his dance break was COOL and his exo-sc performances were LIVELY. and when he actually gets to sing (... T_T) nothing went wrong so i thought everything was fine.

however, during one of his ments, 5ehun admitted to us that he felt bad coz he wasn’t up to standard today (because he’s sick?? translator was not doing a thorough job, i got this info from another friend), and he’s sorry. some of us were like “huh?? no?? GWAENCHANA!!!!” and the translator said he said, “no i’m not saying this just so yall will say that, if you continue i’m not gonna share my feelings like this anymore” so we all shut up.

i can’t remember if it was in that same ment, but during one of the ments, the whole time 5ehun was talking, jun was standing waayyyy in front of the line to turn his body to look at 5ehun. i think he was worried for him :”( 5ehunnie bb please don’t beat yourself up over this. my friend in the standing pen said yeah, he was pretty out of it today, he kept staring into space instead of making eye contact with fans. :-(

[j0ngin]

spEAKING of out of it, the same can be said for j0ngin. don’t get me wrong, his dancing was still otherworldly. i was looking through my binoculars to focus on the dance formation and/or jun, but suddenly i was like “wait, i’ve been looking at ka1 dancing this whole time”. IT’S SO FLUID AND SHARP AT THE SAME TIME. EVERY MOVE IS EXECUTED PERFECTLY. IT JUST DRAWS YOU IN.

... but that can only be said for some stages. i felt like his moves were not as sharp/confident sometimes?? i mean they were still graceful, but somehow it feels kinda tired???????? k who am i to judge, i’m not the one dancing and singing for 2 hours straight lmao he obviously needs downtime...

THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT. unfortunately, during the ments, he also wasn’t very hyper (like hE WOULD BE WITH A CERTAIN SOMEONE.............. UGH MY KADI HEART IS ACHING). he dance-bopped around and interacted with yeol a little but that’s all. i know j0ngin is actually a shy boi but he REALLY didn’t talk much. :-(  i honestly suspect the Other Project (s*perM) is tiring him tf out.

am i hallucinating? or maybe i’m being overdramatic. i don’t know. it’s not that i was constantly following his movements like i was junmye0n’s during the concert anyway.

[baek]

he didn’t SEEM as tired as j0ngin thanks to that Other Project. his diet of CDs didn’t change, and he was still the goofball during ments / soft toy fun times. also, man, the amount of screams he got. and MAN, THE UN VILLAGE ROLLING HILLS PART..................... *GURGLES*

perhaps i’m not a baek stan, so i didn’t realise, but my friend commented that while he was not in as bad a state as j0ngin, he COULD’VE been more hyper.

I HOPE BAEK AND J0NGIN ARE RESTING WELL. Slave Management Entertainment PLEASE HAVE A HEART.

[yeol]

okay DUDES this guy was the guy who warned the middle standing pen fans to stop f*cking pushing because they don’t want to get anyone hurt. “ok everyone in the back row (of the standing pen) please raise your hands. can those who raise your hands take one step back please” ... “ok yall raising your hands but you’re not moving back” ... (him/suh0) “we have to be very wary because if you get hurt then we can’t come back”  the entire stadium collectively went “oOOOHHHH” (not in a good way)... BUT THEY STILL DIDN’T MOVE BACK. (him/suh0) “okay you don’t want to move back? then we’ll retreat to the stage behind then” *walks from from the smaller stage closer to exols back to the larger stage all the way at the front*

he was legit not happy. and goodness gracious did he have the right to be. didn’t this nonsense happen with exo-sc kfans before? and at that time 5ehun was the one who got angry.

anyway not only did they leave to continue performing the second set of songs on a bad note FURTHER AWAY, i HIGHLY SUSPECT that the other punishment was to take away one performance. WHICH WAS MY MOST HIGHLY ANTICIPATED ONE - SIGN. YEAH. THEY DIDN’T PERFORM IT. SHOOT ME NOW. THAT WAS THE B-SIDE I WAS IMMEDIATELY WHIPPED FOR ONCE THE TEMPO ALBUM DROPPED. f*ck.

OKAY ALL THAT ANGST ASIDE, he’s still the main goofball of the concert. HE TRIED TO TEACH US HOW TO DAB INTO THE INSIDE OF OUR ELBOWS. HE GROPED CHEN ON STAGE. HE... he does his job of an entertainer well. OMG. HE TOOK SOMEONE’S PHONE AND TOOK PICS/VIDS OF HIM AND SEHUN????? when i finally noticed it happening i thought he literally took his own phone out during performance/fan-interaction-time to take a selfie but then i find out after the concert that NO, IT’S NOT HIS PHONE. ... that phone case must be enshrined immediately.

also he had to take over some lines for some songs, and BOI DELIVERED. he sounded really nice singing :”)

[dae]

not only did he eat CDs while looking super cute in that blue suit, he BELTED OUT LIVE HIGH NOTES AND ADLIBS AND WHATEVER YOU CALL THEM. I’VE NEVER HEARD EXO LIVE, SO, OH MY GOD. it’s like you’re either screeching or silent because they’re performing but there were parts of dae’s performance where had to stop everything, put down my binoculars and eribong, stare into the air for a second, and literally say “wow” out loud. it was surreal. it was crazy. it got to the point where he covered one of xiu’s lines (i forgot which song), and i thought “oh wow, he sounds better singing this line than xiu” and i IMMEDIATELY felt guilty (I ONLY THOUGHT THIS FOR *ONE* OF XIU’S LINES, DON’T KILL ME)

he was quiet during the ment until his turn. when he was engaged he... engaged. haha about the members’ comments that his solo perf was a “different kind of sexy” from j0ngin, where he had only one drop of sweat. HAHA. *does lunges on stage* *gets molested by yeol*

dae’s actually really low-key. he’s like... a “good” boi. will respond well and politely but only when spoken to. what else do i say. sunshine angel. his smile is cute. CAT SMILE :3

[overall]

speaking of cats... baek asked us at the beginning of the concert: why’s the dress code white?

here’s a crappy pic from my android phone one minute before the lights were dimmed:

us: POWER!!! POWER!!!

exo: oh?? baek: does it represent the light power??

us: (loud murmurs of disagreement)

exo/baek: so you’re saying that’s not it... (discusses with members in korean) is it... the white marble???

us: (louder murmurs of disagreement)

exo/baek: hm i guess we can continue guessing till the concert is over haha

im not sure if anyone in the front rows, perhaps a korean fansite, screamed “cat” in korean, but after some discussion again,

exo/baek: (korean) some exols: *SCREAMS* translator: is it cat? exol: *SCREAMS AND WAVES ERIBONGS*

and this was the only legit interaction i feel we got with exo this concert... after having a taste of it at the start, i was subsequently kinda bummed we didn’t get to do this back-and-forth talking with exo (even at a shallow level) likely because of a language barrier. it felt so cool.

also, eribong v.3 was SUPER PRETTY WITH COLOURS. IT WAS MAGICAL, I SAY, MAGICAL.

the entire spectrum could be shown on this eribong. this pic more or less covers the softer range of colours this eribong is capable of. it can also show the harsh red, blue, green, yellow, and of course, white.

a 1-pixel screenshot of my Telegram video to my friend in the standing pen:

the boys were great, the performance was overall astounding, the lights and effects were stunning and pretty, and the time we spent together was too! short! exo also mentioned it’s a shame they could only come this one day for a concert, next time they’ll do two, no, THREE days... for their next album

exols: ganrklflm;fsklflkgsrkg

... WITH “THE REST OF THE MEMBERS”

exols: NAGJSK;NLDFNLGRS *EXPLODES*

tl;dr i love EXO with my entire heart. i count myself lucky for being alive at the same time exo is active and performing live.

[astereaholloway]

- ̗̀ * ( sophie turner + cisfemale + she/her ) have you seen ( aster holloway ) walking around campus ? they are a ( twenty-one ) year old, studying ( botany + entomology ). we hear they are in ( theta sigma eta ), and can be ( opinionated & daunting ), maybe it’s because they are an ( aries ). they sort of remind us of ( abandoned greenhouses, spinning bike wheels , iridescent pocket knives ), maybe we can find out more ! *  ̖́-  + habitat

i yeet’d holliday for this child o’ mine pls love her bc i love her sm i’ll prolly change her fc to sophie turner as soon as i get tired of cropping gifs of saoirse but enjoy her face for now sksksk. like this n i’ll come to u!!

tw: fire, death, cancer, etc. etc.

gen. info

full name: aster holloway

nickname(s): n/a, give her one n she’ll cut you probably

b.o.d. - april 1st.

label(s): the hellcat, the minefield, the connard, etc. etc.

height: probably like 5′7″ or 5′8″ tbh

hometown: inglewood, california

sexuality: chaotic. lesbian.

bio. info

hasn’t had the most......stable, life

born to dahlia verbeck, a botanist, wildlife conservationist, and volunteer firefighter whose presence was very well known in south california’s environmental scene

to keep a long story short, she married maverick holloway; a sleazy low-rank cop with a smoking problem and an obnoxious personality when she was 19. he was nearly twice her age. nobody knows why she married him, or why she tolerated him

the relationship was by no means abusive, but it was lackluster

this led to dahlia having a one night stand, and baba boom baba bing, aster was conceived

 the only one who knew that the child wasn’t maverick’s was dahlia’s twin brother, donovan, whose career was p much the exact same as dahlia’s

they were basically both mad scientists; when dahlia started slacking because of her pregnancy, donovan would kick it up

like ykno the twin scientists in bioshock infinite ?? that them like they were eerily alike, always finishing each other’s sentences. nightmare fuel.

the only difference was that donovan was considerably less intense than dahlia b/c dahlia was the kinda lass who would set fire to your car

anywAYs so aster was born and everything was fine n dandy until she got a lil older and it suddenly became clear that this child was absolutely not maverick’s at all because they looked. nothing alike. like u know when u can just tell ?? yeah. yeah u could tell

maverick left dahlia afterwards and it was essentially up to her to raise aster alone. donovan had his own wife and kid to take care of and sort of backed down from his career to do so. house dads ftw

aster grew up knowing her dad as some ‘deadbeat no good’ simply bc dahlia was bitter

also grew up as the kid who would hold worms over another kid’s face and taunt them w/ it. so like, playground bully. that was aster. she’s not ashamed of it

she was often left on her own to do her own kinda shit b/c her mom was always busy out in nature n’ shit but aster never minded; loved her mom a Lot

aster’s life changed when she was nine

her mother had been doing research out in the ~wilderness~ with donovan, after months of convincing him of doing this one last project with her~ when the wildfires started

it spread so fast, and they were already too far away from the road

it took them two months to confirm that the twins were dead

rather than leave aster to maverick, elaine--donovan’s wife--took her under her wing and moved across the country to boston alongside myra, her daughter

elaine always held a resentment towards aster because of her mother, but never did anything about it--it was just always, sorta, implied ?

but myra and aster got along swimmingly despite being polar opposites

aster was p much a feral child, and myra had been receiving etiquette lessons since birth, practically--like, literally

elaine put them in the same hobbies but aster always found ways to be wildly different from the ~standard~

myra learned cello and flute, aster started up on bass and drums (breaking both instruments, repeatedly, for many years)

elaine forced dance onto the both of them, and whilst they both excelled at ballet--aster switched over to a more free-flowing dance as soon as she was able to

(that and when elaine tried to put aster in sports instead of dance--figuring her fiery nature would be put to good use--aster managed to get kicked off of every single team of every single sport she tried b/c of her aggression. theyve had to fight a few lawsuits after aster’s broken a number of noses and sporting equipments)

myra was learning two languages, aster? dyslexic and could barely read english as it was; science made sense to her, however. plants? especially.

people confused myra and aster for twins nearly all the damn time, despite only being cousins, they were so alike and yet so opposite

that was, of course, until they got into a nasty spat when they were seventeen

it was something about dead parents and resentments and yadda yadda; it didn’t end well

aster wound up running away......all the way back to los angeles.

n i mean like......homegirl literally managed to run away across the gd country w/o getting caught or murdered

by the time she arrived in los angeles her aunt was sort of like ‘fuck it ur almost 18′ b/c....aster was nearly 18 by the time she arrived in the city, and elaine contacted maverick who in which found aster

aster did not want to go with him, after hearing stories about him just being no-good

but at that point, maverick was one of los angeles’ head detectives with a beautiful apartment and a beautiful wife and a beautiful dog and just kind of living his best life ?? after dahlia’s death he had really cleaned himself up y’kno

aster still kind of resented him but that was more of an inner thing

anyways she started attending ucla b/c her mother attended ucla, but her mother wasn’t a part of a sorority

it was one of those spur of the moment decisions and like nobody knows how aster ended up in theta sigma eta b/c she’s like a grumpy grandmother

but like she dun’ did that

we stan

a year ago maverick was diagnosed w cancer and has been in the hospital battling it ever since, aster is admittedly effected by it but like would never tell anybody ever

she doesn’t really tell anybody anything about her life, like, it’s a gd mystery

uuuuuuuuh aster works in a floral shop as a florist and grows her own shit ranging from fruits, vegetables, weed, shrooms, uh opium poppies yeah she Does that

it’s organic n fresh n shit like the devil works hard but aster works harder

she doesn’t really ~sell~ too often b/c she’s kinda selfish w her stash but it’s some top notch shit when she does 

no she doesn’t grow in the floral shop she’s not Stupid

aster inherited some of her mother’s properties Out There so she drives up almost everyday to take care of her plants

uuuhh fun fact, aster’s part of a dance like...company, kind of? but not really ? outside of ucla b/c she hates being involved in school shit besides habitat for humanity

personality

v v v harsh tbh

she won’t beat around the bush, usually...brutally honest, tbh?

like lbr she’s kind of a bitch too

just v offputting at first b/c she tells it like how it is n doesn’t rly care abt ur problems

doesn’t go around lookin’ for new friends but if you’re tight w her then she’ll probably die for u like she’s v loyal

but if u wrong her like even once she’ll drop u and treat u like right shit

she either feels intensely or nothing at all n that’s like. smth u have to deal w/

she’s v v v chaotic neutral, bordering evil--really works in her own favors

became a botanist after her mother bc she admired her mother more than anybody else

not saying that being vegan is a personality trait

but

aster’s a vegan

n just super hardcore into saving the earth n shit?

litter and she’ll break ur nose, basically

v into sustainable living n shit. rides her bicycle everywhere if she can, rly rarely drives, doesn’t do fast fashion at ALL

v v passionate, will argue w/ u until u admit she’s right even if she’s painfully wrong

like super stubborn, v opinionated, assumes the worst of u immediately

a lil cynical, but is more realist than pessimist

BIG FUCKING GAY

like so gay

she’s not Out-Out but she definitely doesn’t hide it, just doesn’t think it’s necessary to be like ‘im gay’ every 5 minutes n doesn’t think it’s necessary to let ppl kno she’s gay b/c shes just like....its my business

kinda bitch to flirt w dudes for fun in order to lead them on, get them to do things for her, etc. etc. just to disappoint in the end

this is big dumbass energy b/c that’s how u get stabbed

unless aster stabs u first

kinda gal who’ll key ur car if u piss her off during a class debate, but will also stick thumb tacks into ur wheels n shit too

like.....i said she’s spiteful, right? b/c she can b so spiteful

really, genuinely, has no regard for other ppl’s feelings

her music taste is either heavy rock or straight up like grimes/die antwoord there is no in between (prolly listens to billie eilish tho)

owns a pet tarantula n yes she has it in her dorm n Yes she brings it out n plays w it n shit her name is stevie nicks n u better respect her

big slut

would never cheat on u but also probably wouldn’t date u in the first place bc she’s scared of like....being in a relationship b/c all of hers are p much on the rocks

probably carries around a pocket knife at all times

probably bought said pocket knife from a dude in an alleyway for like $5 

myra also goes to ucla and theyre 100% still not speaking but that’s bc they’re both too stubborn to go to each other but like lbr aster misses her cousin

v unruly, nvr brushes her hair, usually got dirt on her clothes bc she’s prolly been digging in gardens or stealing flowers or some shit

bright side is tht she always smells like flowers

theta sigma eta is lucky b/c she cooks her own meals w her own fresh veggies n shit n she always makes too much food n like ? so good

but anyways she’s also got like no manners okay she’s so impolite

uuuuuuh god i dunno what else

wanted connections

ride or die

other friends of varying closeness

ex-friends ???

...like somebody she’s into but also...not into? v conflicted feelings

on-and-off-agains bc their relationship is awful n probably toxic but it just. hurt so good

ex-gfs

ex-hookups

boys she’s led on

boys she’s currently leading on

flirtatious encounter gone wrong [not clickbait] ??

enemies

enemies but gone sexual [not clickbait]

buyers of her products - either weed, shrooms, or opium teehee

roommate

give her somebody she was a uwu soft crush on but would nvr do anything abt bc gross romance !!

alternately, unrequited crushes of any sorts

fellow gays b/c gays always end up knowing each other

party pals

frenemies ??

sdfgh give me her dad’s trophy wife pleathe....it’d be so funny

childhood friends tht knew her b4 she moved to boston so like...ages 0-9

childhood friends tht knew her after she moved to boston so like...ages 9-17

or acquaintances bc she was....a mean one

A TUTOR just b/c she can rly struggle w her dyslexia

[pass3rby]

Caught By Your Past

25th Part

Fandom: Assassin’s Creed Pairing: Altair x Malik Warnings: modern AU, mature, OOC, original female character; unbetaed.

A/N: Good morning, San Francisco (or any other city of your choice for that matter)! Let's kick the day up, shall we?

She was on her way back home from campus when her phone went off. Having to fish it out of the tangle in her bag – USB cable, flash disc, second one, tissues, earbuds, lipstick – almost made her regret her habit of towing around the whole tech station and then some. Almost. She stumbled across her phone soon enough and the thoughts of getting rid of all those things first thing after stepping over the flat's threshold, disappeared again.

Checking the display, she gave a dejected sigh before accepting the call.

“Yeah?” So maybe her tone held a bit of a fake cheer, but there was no need to ruin someone else's mood, was there.

“There's this place I've heard is pretty rad!”

She figured as much; an eagerness to check out new places was a well-known trait of her friend. Trademark, barely restrained excitement in Mary's voice hit her full blast and really, was she ever void of energy? Gie was yet to see her anywhere near depleted. It would feel so good to talk with someone of a similar exhaustion level to her own. Maybe she could call Evie... Jacob's a pain in his sister's ass, too. That might work.

“Enjoy,” keeping up with the current conversation, she went with a sudden spur of a moment and entered a convenience store she was about to pass by. Time to treat herself; who knows how it'll look at home when she gets there. While choosing a thoroughly inappropriate late snack, she might as well listen to Mary, gushing over this new hot spot.

With luck, she only wanted to spill the beans and details about the new place and that would be the end of it. Gie was out for count as it was, just happy to drag herself to bed. Normally, she would welcome an opportunity to go out, but the constant hot & cold vibes coming from an unnamed pair of lost cases was starting to take its toll on her. Just as she was leaving for today's lessons, she heard them yelling again. And although staying out would keep her away from that for a little bit, she was ripe for a generous hibernation, not an evening out.

“You have to come with us!”

So, Mary was gathering a crew for the night out. Gie went with a neutral response, while absentmindedly checking one of the apples on sale:

“Sounds amazing-”

“I thought so, too! Pretty sweet. It's in a nice part of the city, too. Kinda dingy street, but it's not like we're gonna get jumped there.” True social life enthusiast that her classmate was, her mouth went two hundred miles per hour already, not even waiting for the explanative part of Gie's negative response. Also, no to that apple. Neither unhealthy, nor with enough chocolate percentage in it.

Tough luck today, buddy.

Skirting the whole fruit & vegetables section, she dived further to the more sin enabling and supplying section of the store.

“Altair and Malik are at each other's throat again.” There. At least she could make use of Mary knowing about the situation. Saves loads of time otherwise spent by a lengthy explanation. Maybe she won't even need to ring Evie up, after all.

Her friend, being a trooper, jumped promptly over onto the new topic like a pro.

“Thought you said neither of them is Spanish. Or French.”

“They're not, smartass,” and that chocolate looked tempting. She wasn't going to lower herself to buying an ice cream bucket, but that extra large hazelnut milk chocolate bar had her name on its wrapping. “You met them both to know that yourself.”

“So what's the deal?” Mary's voice was intent on the topic, fully focused like she always was with everything she decided to participate in. A good friend although and at the same time because of her brazen attitude, right there.

Okay, chocolate. You're coming with me. Do not resist and I won't be forced to use handcuffs on you.

Apprehending the criminal, she turned on her heel to go fetch something to drink, too – before re-turning around to grab a second bar. Just in case.

“I don't know. I mean, they are sorta... all-or-nothing kind of deal?”

“So, they either fuck or hate each other.” The words coming from the phone stayed true to its owner's spirit – no beating around the bush, they mowed the topic right over.

A vivid memory of mum threatening to wash her mouth with soap whenever she 'slipped', popped up in her mind. Mary wouldn't've last one day visit at their house without frothing at the mouth – one way or another. Funny thought right there.

“Pretty much. Without the-”

“-fucking. Yadda yadda yadda. I don't know if I should laugh at your brother or rethink my gender and step between them and wait which one would grab my ass first.”

“Mary!”

“What? They're attractive! Ten out of ten would tap that.”

Most of her friends did not miss the opportunity to tell her how dumb she was to let Altair go when their pack of she wolves was out last Friday. Mary'd just shrugged. 'Well at least you're out of competition if the guys ever changed their mind' – that're her exact words. While at least one of the girls would mean them, the free-spirited drinker had been quite obviously taking the piss. Like right now. Tough empathy – that's what Gie called it; Mary was the best.

Mood getting back on its feet, having shaken off the gloom, Georgie chuckled wryly and joined in the game.

“You'd stand no chance anyway. They wouldn't even notice you there.”

“That bad?”

“Their eyes are boning each other constantly, only their bodies resist the pull.” Now, that was a relief to say it out loud. Gie picked up a flavored green iced tea out of a refrigerator before making a bee-line to the cashier.

“Mindfucked too much?” It was hard to tell whether Mary was home already or not. While such generous use of foul language would usually point you somewhere 'safe to express yourself' if not in the home base direction outright, Mary was known to drop an F-bombs on a daily basis wherever. In the middle of the class wouldn't be her first time either. She lived closer to the campus, though.

“More like not enough.” Putting the handpicked items onto an empty space next to the register, she greeted the employee before refocusing back on Mary. Her answer must've betray a part of her previous dejected mood, because the response was instant and spot on.

“Damn. You're not coming, are you.”

“Not feeling it, I'm sorry.” There was no denying that she felt better now, but she'd still prefer to stay home tonight.

“Alright,” Her phone transported a heavily put-upon sigh right to her ear, “You're excused this once. If they drag you into their depressive circle of hell, though, I'm gonna come haunt their asses.” Fierce friends had certain perks.

“Or hunt.” Gie shot back good naturedly as she was getting through the payment procedure. That going off without a hitch, she was out of the store in no time.

“What do you know. It could bring the same results.”

“Despair?” It would be hard to miss her snicker. The door of the store closed behind her and she got back on her track leading home with renewed vigor, failsafe mechanism safely tucked in her bag.

“Ha ha. That's what I get for caring about you.”

But when the phone call ended ten minutes later, she wondered whether Mary will have to be taken up on her offer, if it'll really come to that. Will there be silence when she gets home? What sort of scene will greet her?[P1]  To make the suddenly reinstated warzone even worse, the pair of undecisive fools was getting along pretty fine as of late.

Did Thor hit them with his hammer over their heads or something?

Now, arguments and bickering were a part of any relationship. Clashes were either handled or not and that was it; a 'make it or break it' sort of deal basically and again, a pretty standard one at that. These two? They had brought the art of disputes to a whole another level by the sheer amount of practice in pair. What was left there to argue about, though? She could swear that they've argued even about the water pressure in the shower already.

Taking a step back, maybe there was no need for them to make it official at all. They fought like a couple already, so there was a good chance that they had the partner software for encouraging staying together installed, too. But maybe not.

Them being as they are? Holding onto the remnants of their wild card statuses while also leaning over toward the other? It could bring literally anything. As of now, chaos and strangling of one another would be her bet on the most probable outcome, no matter what she really hoped for.

What truly boggled her mind was that the 'wild card' issue was more of Malik's signature there than Altair's. Sounding strange? Maybe because it was. If anything, you could always count on Malik being solid. As on him being a silent snide sniper. His words got the kill while his face might as well been cut from marble. That was his nature and it came with an objectively calm demeanor. All of that, her brother might rightfully pride himself for, because he perfected every single part of it to a state of art. Throwing him off, not to mention making his wall of tranquility crumble to dust wasn't an easy achievement.

Then Altair entered – or re-entered – the picture, turning out to be an equivalent to the proverbial fairy with a magical wand. 'Unusual' wouldn't even make the cut for an appropriate description of how out of character this was for her brother and still, the facts stood.

Not that she hadn't wondered about the strange enigma before; it only wasn't as important then as many other aspects that needed to be accounted for. But maybe it should have been. Altair's presence was undeniably toying with Malik on a full scale, so it was safe to assume that their whole relationship must've been even more complicated, elaborate or not, than she anticipated – and she gave a lot of room to possible variations of their history.

What was so bad about Altair that kept Malik doubtful?

Their personalities clashing could hardly be the reason – it obviously didn't matter even back in their heydays. Was he still hung up on the fact that she and Altair together were the plan A and the reason why the guy was here in the first place? Her brother could, indeed, hold a grudge. Was it the job? If so, then... Okay, it wasn't a traditional nine-to-five job where you are safely tucked in an office, she'd give Malik that. But Gie saw them together; this hesitating and dancing around each other would make sense only if they did not feel as strongly about each other anymore. To that, she called bullshit. She'd probably do the best to ask Altair about that when the soonest opportunity arises.

Using the key to their flat, she unlocked the door and nudged it ajar.

No sound.

Promising enough. Entering the flat, she put her bag on the bench right by the door.

Altair was passed out, half-lying behind the living room's low table, half-propped up on her beanbag in a position that suggested something was missing in the picture. The flat screen was still on, although only some commercial nonsense on low volume was taking up the screen there.

Before she could investigate the crime scene any further, different kind of muted noises caught her attention. They were coming from the direction corresponding with only one room in the apartment. That answered the question of where Malik disappeared to. Taking one deep breath for courage, she walked over to the kitchen.

“Hey.” Her greeting was on a cautious side of the spectrum, but nobody could blame her.

“Hey yourself,” Malik answered in kind readily enough if a bit distracted. Scanning what must've been instructions on a box of something presumably eventually edible, his attention taking its sweet time to shift onto her. Not that she minded; this wasn't bad compared to any kind of confrontation. She'd had it up to here of that.

“Coffee?” The offhand offer made its way to her, while Malik's eyes flicked back and forth between her and what appeared to be an instant version of Rubik's cube to him. An already made batch of coffee was the current main star of the kitchen counter. Steam coming from it declared that the beverage was fresh, too.

“Uh... I'll probably go with just tea? Thanks, though.” Perking up at that, he decidedly put the package back in the pantry, obviously finding the required amount of effort overly too much to bother with. It would also be Malik's attitude to food in general in a nutshell.

She was about to go over and set necessary things up to fix herself a cup, but Malik was one step ahead of her.

“The tests weren't bad then?” She watched as her brother proceeded to put water in the electric kettle before switching the thing on.

Oh.

“They were fine.” Since she had to wait for the water to boil, it was only sound logic to plop down on a chair – which was exactly what she did.

“Were they.”

“Stop it, you moron, you're not my parent.” Reminding him her adult status was a moot point now, but she did it anyway. Meanwhile, Malik poured himself a mugful of the steamy, tar black liquid, completely unperturbed.

“Look at the good news. The day's just gotten better for the both of us.” For all intents and purposes, his expectant look was interchangeable with the one of a hawk stalking its prey. She grudgingly conceded only because there was no other easy way of getting from under that type of scrutiny.

“I may not ace them both, but it wasn't as terrible as I expected. Professor de Sable took ill and our tests will be marked by a substitute teacher, so there's no way I'll get a bad mark on that one either.”

The nightmarish teacher had been picking on her ever since her first year of taking the course. She couldn't help but secretly think of his illness as a gift from above.

“I though you said you got a different lecturer already?” If Gie was ten years younger, she'd probably appreciate his brotherly frown much more. As it was, she could handle one numskull without any additional help.

“False alarm. That would be that substitute I've mentioned. Looks like the baldhead doesn't know when to-” Sensing warning in the air, she promptly changed the intended ending of her sentence:

“-leave the scene,” which was closely followed by a quietly mumbled “or kick the bucket” original version.

“You were saying?”

“I said that he apparently must've dig his heels in somehow.” Gie blatantly lied without an ounce of shame in her body.

The good thing about being raised into adulthood by a strict brother? He was still way more lenient than their parents would be. She held no hope of her brother believing that's what she really said, but he let her be anyway, because Malik himself thought that the guy was an asshole. But even better than that; any 'tight spots' like this one trained her in the façade game that Malik was a master of, too.

When he wanted to be, that is. Looking at him taking the box full of teabags in his hand, nose wrinkling in disgust, one wouldn't believe such a claim. If Malik could, he would hold that box like a bag full of dog presents, no doubt. Dork.

“Sheesh, you're a riot. Give me that,” Getting back on her feet, she stole the box which was offending her brother's sensibilities out of his grasp and fished out one teabag before storing the rest back in the cupboard. Right on time, the kettle switched off, too, so she threw the teabag inside an empty mug that Malik had left on the counter for that purpose exactly and poured hot over it straight away. Brimming with satisfaction, she looked over at Malik, who still did not bother to regain his stony decorum. As much as he was furrowing his brows, though, he was in a casual, laid-back mood.

“You should stop.” Still, his voice was as gruff as always. His nod towards her drink said all there was needed to decipher what he was referring to. She nonchalantly ignored the clue, pretending ignorance.

“With what?” She intentionally gave Malik an innocent look.

“Drinking that garbage.” As if she did not see that coming. The deadpan nag made her snicker for its utter uselessness. They had gone over this one thousand times already and yet, somehow, Malik never seemed to tire of it.

“You should stop,” she shot back to exact her revenge.

“With what?” Humoring her, he went along with the game, striking the familiar pose which included folded arms on his chest. His eyes were soft, though; contrary to their hard shine whenever adapting the posture in a serious conflict.

He probably expected her to say something along the lines of “nagging me about the tea” and to be fair, nobody could blame him for it since that was exactly what she wanted to go with. Initially. But a single, no matter how short, moment to rethink the opportunity was all it took to decide on a change. Biting on her lower lip, she went for it.

“Being so stubborn.” And she might as well ask for a sky to lean down and hand over some of its stars to her while she was at it. Honestly, Gie was well-aware of how her words sounded. But demanding an all-out annihilation of the character trait wasn't the point here. Therefore, she clarified:

“Why do you guys argue so much – really?”

Fully prepared to see him withdrawing into himself and closing off again, she faced a distinctly different reaction. While Malik was fast to catch onto what she was talking about, he showed no sign of being displeased with the topic.

“I argue with idiots in general. That's my job. I thought you already knew that.” Even busy with removing the teabag out of her mug after taking a careful, evaluating sip, it didn't stop her from pointing the obvious, encouraged by his response:

“Yeah, but not like you do with Altair...” It was much easier to continue pursuing the matter with his open attitude and his trademark scowl on vacation.

At last noticing that the issue was really troubling her, his blasé vibe evaporated out of the room. Sh- shrooms in a meadow. Counting her chickens way too soon.

“Geor-”

“I know I have no right to stick my nose into it, but what happened so wrong that you feel the constant need to butt heads?”

Silence and him clenching his jaw didn't look much promising in regard to her hopes of getting an answer when-

“We just do.” While his tone was even, and Malik obviously managed to reign whatever had made him grit his teeth in, all she got for her trouble was less than a bare minimum one would be able to work with. Before she could even let out a put-upon exhale at the cryptic reply, though, he gave in and elaborated further:

“It's the way we deal with stuff.” Now it was his turn to mumble something. What, Gie didn't manage to catch, “We've solved the... issue already, though.”

“So you'll argue less now?”

“Not likely,” if that wasn't a definitive statement right there. Splendid. She was starting to think that Mary was right. In one-year time, Italian mafia will pale in comparison. Relationship preferences...

Thinking back a bit, this was the first time Malik also openly addressed his relationship with Altair in her company. And what a fanfare did he chose to play it with. Speaking of that, on a closer look, Malik seemed this close to ask a question of its own, but he swiftly buried it expertly, shoving his attention into the caffeinated drink of his choice, he was holding. She could guess what this was about, though. Her brother was truly hopeless.

Ask who needs it spelled out for them again, brother.

“Hey.” Unphased, she walked over and started to unload stuff from the fridge that would make for a solid, good meal when rightly prepared. Chicken, vegetables and rice will do it.

“Hm?”

“I really don't mind, okay?” Malik took some time to react other than pin her with an intense gaze.

“Why?”

She smiled. For once, he was the dumb one.

“Because you're my brother.” Good and done with that, she pulled out a cutting board, issuing a challenge:

“Wanna cook together?”

“You'll tell me to get out in five minutes flat.” Was the gruff answer.

“That's not an answer.”

Keeping an eye on her with undisguised suspicion, he cautiously went to get a knife.

“The kitchen counter is not long enough for both of us.”

“I was here first!” Immediately calling dibs on the piece of furniture, she laughed as he swore.

Next

[vacationcalendar]

8/10/21

Wait, I missed 2 days? Ah fuck. You know what, let’s not focus on it. I don’t really feel like going full journal-mode today. Suffice it to say the winddown from doing WEED (and the socializing from that 5k most likely...) was much bigger than I was hoping it would be. And I might just be in the middle of an existential crisis! Moving on!

Hmm, so what to go over today. I think it’s high time we put some effort into something we care about. Writing good. Writing goodly. I was gonna say the novel, which I have to commit to calling something. I keep forgetting I was going to settle on The Franz Lion like almost a month ago. I do want to do that. So let’s. Ok, I wanted to write like a poem or something today as well. Or rather, I wanted to write a poem like 3 days ago and then fell into a K-hole. I know that’s not the proper usage of the term K-hole, but it’s such a great phrase, and who the hell is using ketamine these days? We’re wasting K-hole as a culture. So I’m gonna do my part to fix that. I remember some indie artist was being interviewed (if memory serves, she was being interviewed by Matt Besser for an Improv4humans episode. This is the exact reason I like podcasts by the way. Matt Besser is a fundamentally interesting person and was given, through the medium of podcasting, free reign over what to talk about. And he chose to dig into an indie artist’s catalog that largely covered depression, so he could turn around and do improv comedy about it. The end. That idea was completely solipsistic, if I’m using that word correctly. Ok I checked, I did not. I just meant that this creative endeavor existed entirely for its own sake, which as far as I can tell does not have its own word), and she calls the feeling I’m describing as going on a journey to the center of the earth. I always liked that, but like, we can get that down to one word for sure. K-hole. I admit I can see problems with that; maybe we call it like a natural K-hole or something like that. Put a pin in this.

So a poem and maybe some free writing centered around TFL (handy!). Maybe we can do both at once here.

We all die once.  We are born as many times as we need.

Not a poem, but this is the critical thesis of The Franz Lion. My instincts tell me this is more attached to the ship in the novel itself, but that theme should be present throughout the whole story if I can manage it. What other themes do I need to keep with me?

--------

Ok I left for over an hour, what’d I miss? Oh, wait! Let’s make it an hour and five minutes. lemme do laundry........ Ok. Fuck that is so easy, I should have the cleanest clothes, it’s too easy not too, man. I mean, the bedsheet is its own thing, that doesn’t count. Clothes and pillow cases and towels, forget it. Ok, let’s jam dude.

Theming attached to the Franz Lion. Birth, or rather rebirth by means of leaving an old life behind in search of a new one. I think an interesting topic I can go into will definitely be my personal style of leaving behind old things/relationships to discover new ones; even when the old ones were nice. I think that personality is currently underrepresented in culture. Moving on from a close friend, because you are a rolling stone, and that isn’t a bad thing. To never stop exploring the world is to never stop learning, and that might be the fundamental goal of the human experience. Never stop learning. This is what to me makes Weaver a compelling main character. At his core he is a learner. That’s the center bubble of the web flow chart. He wants to learn about everything. He devours the lore of this world voraciously enough to satisfy the equally curious readers, and hopefully in a way that helps move the less interested readers along with him. This is what can keep him on the ship longer than a standard “hero” type would want to. He isn’t forced into taking any political position on the ship, and while he suspects he will choose to change things soon, he’s more interested in understanding it more than he is impacting it. Like, Luke Skywalker joins the rebellion second one of the Star Wars because that’s the point; the empire is pure evil. They are just big strong bad guys that need to be risen up against, despite the odds. This is a different story. It may be hinted at from time to time that there will be a powerful act of “darkness” (destruction?) that may come into the foray of every day life, but it’s not so clear what the likelihood of that is or even if it’s that bad at all. Weaver will see as many wretched people as he will compelling characters. There will be no uber-worthy side to take up arms with and help. He’ll have to decide for himself how much conflict he’s willing to endure.

And I think Weaver’s curiosity should be the ultimate reason he stays with Kat like he does. Kat is an enigma. Kat holds so many answers that Weaver so desperately wants to uncover, and reveals nothing. Kat’s existence on the ship means so many things: What does a champion do? What exactly are the makings of a champion, could I be one? What is your responsibility when you have the power to make a difference? And then Kat’s inner darkness keeps Weaver around: What is so hard about living life? What does failure really mean? Who is this person I’m looking at right now? Weaver knows that knowledge can conquer fear, and he’s naturally drawn to trying to best understand the world around him, so why can’t he help Kat? What piece of information is he trying to find out to help fix this problem? It seems by all accounts that Kat doesn’t WANT to get better, but then why doesn’t she leave. It’s like the act of trying to help is the main source of the pain she’s feeling, but she doesn’t have the strength to abandon him/the ship. Is he torturing her? But he’s seen her come alive before. Like she’s escaped her mind and is running around like a refugee. 

Now I’m thinking Weaver should have a stronger reason to stay attached to Kat. Looking at it now, I think I’d wander down a path that more resembles real life, where Kat runs out of good will and gets left behind, left to her own devices as a last ditch attempt to bring her into the working world. I don’t want to do that in the book, necessarily. I don’t have Kat as the POV character, and I don’t have Kat as the fundamentally curious one constantly asking what the fuck is wrong with her. That book would just be too hard to write. And I wouldn’t want to read it anyway. So Weaver should stick with it as long as he can, hopefully til the end of the story or whatever. So currently, he stays with her because he at first is mezmerized by her. She’s a champion! A legendary warrior, and in this world, fighting is an art. Watching a master etherist(? gotta pick out some more vocab...) is like watching a sunset. It’s the closest you can get to objective beauty. And as someone who just found out he’s an etherist as well, this is his only source of ethereal knowledge. It’s understood relatively quickly in the book that the way champions work makes it more than likely that Weaver will become the Wind Champion at some point in his ethery journey-

NOTE: elements attune to people, not the other way around, so as long as people can muster ethereal attunement to an element, that element will have a champion that sort of represents the element. It’s like the queen on a chess board. Nations will have a King, but the champion is the one with the agency. Since for all the crew knows, Weaver is an ethereal breed of one, he will become the champion of Wind by default, once he possesses the power to channel the element properly. The more I think about it, the more I think it’s not SO MUCH a random process that decides the champion; like Nature selects the champion and then nation’s send out “oracles” or something to find it. Nature more or less identifies the champion by flowing through the worthiest candidate when the time to select a champion occurs. Like our champions in the book weren’t decided by some ironic fate that will weave them together in a compelling way. They are literally the most innately talented at the time of selection. It would be like the universe selecting the most talented violinist one day. We’d have a couple guesses and they’d probably all be wrong, but the universe wouldn’t pick someone surprising; it would pick someone who has found the violin as an artform and plays well. But displaying talent is external and having talent is internal. Maybe it’s a bit like lightning picking the best path from the clouds to the earth. It moves everywhere seemingly randomly but eventually it decides where to strike and it’s through the best conduit in the area. And that’s guaranteed. It starts from a place that we can’t know where it will strike, but it never strikes somewhere surprising. So the crew deduces quickly on that having the one and only Windy-billy on the planet means the angry winds (I kinda want a fun word for Earth in this story, put a pin in that) of this planet will flow through him the moment he could allow it. 

It’s why Captain Ettis would move heaven and earth to teach Weaver in the first place. But it’s also the exact reason Weaver is magnetized to Kat. She is the worthiest Light etherist, objectively; but she seemingly has no ambition. Kat frustrates Weaver and the Captain and everyone almost by design, and they can’t wrap their heads around it. So it seems to me like the frustration that *depression* will lay onto the cast should factor into the progression of the plot. Like the amazing promise that is the company of Kat (last name here ;P) is never ever delivered upon and that should bring them to a crossroads. My the crew of the Franz Lion abandons her and looks for a new way to get Weaver attuned to the Wind in some way. I know the first thing they should want to try is to look for old books about Wind Ethery (I don’t know how hard to make this yet. It could be relatively simple, but it doesn’t do the trick for Weaver, because that’s not what Wind books were meant for. Or it could be like highly illegal to possess Wind paraphernalia, and the book would be super helpful, it’s just the act of procuring a book would be the struggle. That honestly does not sound as interesting to me, but I can see how that would help center the narrative a bit. The reader knows what to be looking for. hmmm...), but once Kat comes along, they see a real chance to achieve their original goal, even if they are keeping Kat on board at their own peril. That’s honestly a perfect reason to want to leave Kat behind once she proves unreliable as a resource for Weaver. But when the Franz Lion sails off, this is where I want Weaver to stay with Kat. So why would he do that? Does he feel like he’d rather be with her, he’s rather help her, than help get himself to champion status? Maybe seeing her suffer shows him that being a champion is not some end-all be-all reward like he once thought. I think it would be really helpful for the story is there was some external force that coincided with Weaver’s choice to stay. So if Weaver leaving the ship= choosing Kat’s longterm success over his shortterm success (he can always become the champion later, it’s a destiny). Ok, here’s my first thought. War has been declared between the Light Kingdom and someone else (multiple kingdom’s maybe?). Word has gotten out that the champion of Light has disappeared, and -

NOTE: Couple things for world building. I think the kingdom’s should be pretty straightforward. There is the main city where the capital is. Then there is the Nation’s territory. Everyone operates more like a confederacy. Each city has its own shit under control. But the kingdom collects taxes and shit (look into this maybe O_O) and they can conscript soldiers in times of war. Also in the book, the seven (six, plus Weaver) champions have all been chosen within the same year; an unheard of event. New champions are only chosen when the former champion passes away. So for the first time in history (documented history), the champions are all green and untested. So some of the more ambitious champions have taken this as a major opportunity to further establish their empires, I guess. I think battle and territory expansion is a little easier to come upon in this world than my instincts tell me should be happening. The geo-political culture is far from solved in this world, as would be any world at this technological stage (check out a game of Civ VI or something).

The light champion is AWOL and the Aqua Nation and Erd Nation have champions that are poised to demonstrate their strength. This is a surprise to few; 7 new champions in one year has made the world very volatile. I think there might be room for some more dramatic tension by revealing just how Machiavellian the Aqua Champion is. Like he isn’t just going to war on the Light/Aqua border, he wants to perform a second Abandonment. 

NOTE: “The Abandonment” (name subject to change) is what the world says to refer to the infamous moment in history where the world lost the ability to commune with the wind. A lot of people mourn the abandonment, like one would mourn losing their sense of smell. We have moved away from our oldest home. Our place in nature is turning grayer before our very eyes. But unsurprisingly, The (great?) Abandonment (of the Wind?) had many proponents. That’s why it happened in the first place. 7 different nations were left to share the resources and land of the world and champions would always defend their homes well enough to keep every kingdom relatively large and unmoored. The abandonment was only possible in the first place because a terrifying regime powered by an unprecedentedly strong champion and a seemingly psychotic king challenged the entire world for supremacy. The other 6 nations for the first and only time rose up together to push back and defeat the armies of the Wind nation. The king and his champion had many opportunities to surrender and end the war peacefully, but they fought tooth and nail until the very last moment, which led to their complete obliteration. Once the forces of wind were completed eradicated, the 6 nations found themselves looking at an interesting choice. The number of Wind etherists were so few, and the land they occupied was so small, the other nations would be able to enact a complete takeover of their nation. There were talks of genocide, and as unthinkable as it sounded, executing this process would kill less than a 50th of the people that had already died in this war. The crimes of the Wind Nation were heinous enough to deserve a punishment like this one, and in reality a lot of people were scared that a second champion would emerge from the remnant of the nation soon, and they might try to squirm out of the checkmate they’d been placed in. This urgency to act and the outrage from the rest of the world let the power-hungry leaders fall to their worst instincts: splitting the earth 6 ways was a hell of a lot better than 7 ways. So the elemental coalition army executed its prisoners and put all the women and children in prison camps. They marked them all a Wind children and moved them all around the world in camps overseen by each Nation. They lived out the remainder of their lives as second class citizens, unable to practice or even mention ethery, and unable to have children. The final act of eradication lasted one lifetime and needed only a fleeting apathy to execute.

Hmm, now I’m realizing I already have the ivories. People with no ethery, no communion with nature. They either could be the product of the eradicated Windys, or they could merge with the Windys. That makes more sense; to go from no Ivories to lots of Ivories, just because of the cleansing of Windys, doesn’t really work. You can’t strip a people of their natural connection to the elements like that. I think I should leave any Windys left after the war to be branded Windys (although I don’t like the brand idea that much, brands are so automatically associated with Jews, and the Windys already started out like a pseudo Nazi party. I do think their motivations will be a lot more “world domination”-y than the Facism/genocide stuff)

How bout this? The world coalition captured every Windy, then once the next champion emerged they picked an agreed upon location to jail him for life. So they’d always know where the wind champion was. And he wasn’t as strong or as crazy as the last one, so he went away without incident. Then all the remaining Windy citizens were broken up into little groups and carted off to ivory settlements all over the world. They could live their lives normally like the ivory folk under the promise to never perform or teach wind ethery ever, under penalty of death. The land that belonged to the Wind Nation was divided up among the other nations. Since it wasn’t right in the middle of everything, compromises were made. Certain Nations got bigger shares of the land by giving up land that already belonged to their kingdom. Like the Light kingdom got a big piece of the Wind nation in exchange for giving up part of their border to the Fire Kingdom, since the Fire Kingdom was so far away from the Wind Kingdom. This part was very complicated and took a long time, and ensured that no Kingdom was particularly satisfied or allied with anyone anymore. Think world war 1 leading to world war 2 MINUS THE FACISM. 

A bunch of survivors obviously saw it to be very important to keep Wind ethery alive and tried to teach it to their children in secret. All the books and libraries etc. in the Wind Kingdom were destroyed. Some people tried to recreate ethery books on their own; they’d hide them in their homes. But Soldiers of each kingdom were obviously tasked with the finding and destroying of these sorts of practices. And you were instantly executed and made an example of in your town. And you can imagine certain kingdoms were less tolerant than others. Taking part in this time in history would place your sympathies with the wind people. Dragged into global conflict by their mad king and his calamitous champion. And now your very essence is being scrubbed from history before your eyes. It’s an exceedingly wretched time to bear witness to. But this was maybe 3 entire generations removed from our current setting.

So yeah, The Abandonment was a huge deal. Many people still mourn this time in the world’s history. But so many more feel an unearned sense of freedom from it. Freedom from the scourge of tyranny. Freedom to live out their wonderful lives as the true ethereal race. If only we could abandon the other 5 natural abominations. People like them rather enjoyed how “honest” and “friendly” the wind felt without a ugly face hiding behind it. Surely if the world were to do without humans unnatural handling of nature, it would be a better place to live. Their element notwithstanding of course. People are fucking idiots. This viewpoint is meant to be instantly hated by the reader, and at the same time being instantly understood, and the reader feels no compulsion to reason with this viewpoint. It’s all too familiar.

At the same time, it leaves a lot of room to explore an actual thought. If humans could bend nature to our whim, should we? Isn’t that what we’re doing right now in the real world? Stealing water and wind and rock to make electricity and heat? Moving everything around for the sake of conveniencing ourselves? Surely the goal of a humanity that could move the world around as it wanted would be to find it’s natural equilibrium.  People in the book say the wind is sad now that it was no way to talk to us. But is it actually sad? Or are we just deciding what we want the world to look like?  If the wind could really talk, it should incumbent on us to listen. I think that should come into play when you see how industrious the ivories are. They have no communal channel with the elements, and they’re begun to take off down the path of industry. It’s early but we get some hints that they seem to be on the path towards the modern day humans of Earth. And modern humanity is nothing if not a cautionary tale of find your own balance with nature. Someone, maybe Weaver should come to understand that we need to wield our ethereal power as SERVANTS not MASTERS. Like how Jesus said to love thy neighbor, as a servant. you get it. That seems like it’s a big enough hook to hang a bit of the plot onto at some point down the road.

Where was I? Oh my god, the plot. Like 2 thousand words later. Jesus.

So once word breaks out that the Light Kingdom is going to war, and it look sbad for them, Kat let’s slip that her new plan is to kill herself. She would be doing a great service to her country, giving them a new champion in her stead, and she can’t handle being around anymore anyway. The weight of her responsibility to be great has crushed her beyond her capacity. So once she’s been kicked off TFL, Weaver follows her. (again, WHY does he follow her? I don’t *love* the idea that he follows her as a way of being there to stop her from killing herself, but that checks out logistically) Weaver can tell something is wrong and he doesn’t want to lose her. He’s like 17 so it feels extremely natural that he has worked himself up to a point of loving Kat, as a teenager is able to do. So when she turns to this dark point, she has exhausted almost all of the good will around her, and Weaver is thoroughly perplexed by her. She bears an enigmatic quality (I wanted to say that sentence like 3 hours ago... lol). He clearly has found it difficult to like her, but he just can’t help himself. And when he finds out she’s planning to kill herself (this is honestly a perfect story beat. It works for the plot and the theme and it is the biggest part of a story about depression you can add), he stops her. 

I think naturally because this is me writing this, I’m not going to let Weaver stick to his guns to fervently about preventing a suicide. There are a lot of questions that are raised by this. How much damage has this act done to the light kingdom? Does Weaver have a duty to bring Kat to “fighting shape”? Is it ok that Kat has failed to protect her kingdom? Suicide was the easy way out, can Weaver do the hard work for Kat? He doesn’t have control here. 

Wow, this is a heavy scene. I’m letting it wash over me right now and it’s making me get a little teary. This will be a huge part of this book, I’m just realizing. And mechanically it fits perfectly. What part of the book would this be? I can literally see this as a part of the book people would try and skip over as they read it again. Like, they’d look it up and people online would say go to page 347 to pick back up after this scene had subsided. Now that we’re talking about this I know another part I have to include if I want to do this right, is I have to include the death of the King in the Light Kingdom (I’ll give him a name obviously). It’s one of the biggest emotional arcs I can possibly imagine for Kat, and it needs to happen early enough to let her deal with it throughout her story. The initial spiral. The DABDA, I suppose. Whenever I imagine myself going through grieving, especially 10 years ago, I’d jump to Depression and rot there for the rest of my life. But I know that’s impossible. But I also know that DABDA is natural and healthy, and Kat is not healthy. It will look different for her and it will not be fast.

This is interesting. The more I dream up stuff to include in the book, the more I had interesting philosophical quandries, and the less I think of compelling action sequences. The longer I live, the further the balance shifts it seems. I need to make sure I’m keeping in mind a reason why you’d pick up this book in the first place. Something cool has to happen right?

I do think the first sequence in the book is cool. A terrorist attack where Weaver ends up stowing away on a pirate ship, then being captured and nearly executed; only to be saved by the possibility that he might be someone very special, if he works hard. That’s a fine start. Then there’s the tale of the White Witch. That’s also cool. What else? Kat’s entrance aboard TFL, and Kat sinks those two ships. I don’t see why any of that cool action needs to be cut. And every moment in between can be getting to know the crew and this world. Certainly green seas and the overwhelming force of the “navy” (The Aqua military should have a name like that) is compelling. I’m starting to think also that Weaver is kept at arm’s length of the specific plans of Captain Ettis. One, he doesn’t know anything anyways. Why would going to Landwing matter to him or not? And if we just keep ourselves concerned about the story through Weaver’s eyes, we don’t have to sweat ALL the details right away. JK Rowling didn’t worry about the Deathly Hallows in the sorcerer’s stone. I don’t think she worried about shit. Now I’m thinking again about the suicide scene. I have to be very careful about that thing. That’s what can make my book go from fun YA action adventure, to ADULT action adventure. I think I need to make sure that the leading idea to kill herself has to come from the selfless place of trying to be helpful to her people. She doesn’t know how to be a champion to her people. She doesn’t know how to help; but she can think of one way. To be honest, she’d thought about it for a long time now. If she were to die, the light would find a new champion. One who didn’t run away. One who wasn’t too cowardly to fight for something greater than herself. 

It can’t go the other way, where she’s like I can’t endure the pain that comes with living anymore, and actually I’ll be helping out along the way. I’m a coward, a wretched monster that doesn’t belong here. I need to go home, and when I do my family will be able to go on without me and be ok. They don’t realize that keeping me around is only hurting them. 

Do you get it? This is going to take some serious effort to get right. I think we need to leave it up to the reader to place the connection of depression and suicide on their own. Like, Kat found a noble reason to try and tap out of life, but here on Earth, people will feel like Kat sometimes even without the plot demanding it. You get it. I think we should save it for when we know a lot more about this book to write this scene though. For the sake of nuance, and I’d like to be a better writer by that point as well, haha.

Ok, I want to call it here. I’m losing track of where I am and tumblr gets super laggy when my WC gets this high. Goals for next time:

1. More vocabulary. Lock down some actual words. We can always replace them later. 2. Try to write the boat scene between Ettis and Weaver. 3. Get some details about crewmen down. It has to happen at some point.

Ok, let’s call it here. Love you, bysies <3