#its kinda funny im actually becoming better friends with k tho who actually does more than say LMAO or FR FR

[carrotpiss]

:o(

[grandmasterofwangxiancultivation]

SV ch.57

one can’t even study in peace that chapters just pop out of wherever 

*fails to appear angry*

THIS CHAPTER IS FINALLY HERE and we are still in the mausoleum uuuuuh

EDIT: it’s snakey-snakey-zhuzhuzhuz, i think i was right

EDIT 2:

Shen Qingqiu said, “The person who stole the corpse from the Palace Hall vault really was you.”

(AAAAAND I WAS RIGHT, we all were right. What I want now is for father-in-law to appear.)

Zhuzhi-Lang said, “The situation happened too quickly. I had no choice but to continue on to the next stage of the plan. I hope Master Shen will be magnanimous enough to forgive me.”

wait, so there’s a plan? WHAT PLAN? i believe there’s also another next stage beside that, so i wanna knoooooooooow

EDIT 3:

Zhuzhi-Lang said, “Reason number one, I’ve already explained to Master Shen. Since you’ve helped me, I will repay the favor many times over. As for the second reason, Master Shen wasn’t exactly summoned by the humble me… it’s better to ask Junshang directly.”

Shen Qingqiu said, “Alright. Where is Tianlang-Jun, then?”

(wait, what, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN OMG TOO FAST, HE IS GOING TO MEET HIM RIGHT NOW???? *heart pounding loudly*

well, it makes sense, but a bit of warning next time-)

EDIT 4:

Zhuzhi-Lang stared blankly, before saying, “I thought that Master Shen and Junshang had already met.”

Already met?

(E X C U S E    M E    WHAT

WHEN

WHERE WAS I????

ARE YOU SERIOUS OMGGGGG OWIERJGIOVWJROIKROPSK)

EDIT 5:

Could it be that the corpse inside… was Tianlang-Jun?

(IS THIS FOR REAL?)

EDIT 6:

This person set an elbow against the edge of the coffin, a faint smile appearing on his face. He said, “Qing Jing Peak Lord, I’ve looked forward to meeting you for a long time.”

(this... 

i honestly wanna laugh, i think, but i am also incredibly bewildered so it’d come out more like... a nervous, exasperated laugh? 

btw i am loving every second of this)

Shen Qingqiu was stunned.

…….This whole family’s interests were wide and extensive, but it seemed eventually all of their hobbies were the same kind of eccentric. The son enjoyed hugging corpses, the father enjoyed lying inside a coffin.

(EXACTLY. THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT!!!! but it’s actually a very cute thing, like, they don’t really know each other but share this father-son bond over death, it’s kinda charming!)

EDIT 7: i didn’t know i needed sqq compare father.in-law to lbh until it happened. shizun talking about lbh’s smile and eyes and posture has this funny side that makes one think about how he can’t help but drag lbh in every situation -which is kinda normal in this current situation, but also... well, cute xD

EDIT 8: FATHER-IN-LAW LOST AN ARM??? IS THAT YOU, RASPUTIN????

EDIT 9: 

This was like the flap of a butterfly’s wings causing a tsunami. He had guessed earlier that Zhuzhi-Lang had taken the Sun and Moon Flower Seed to create a new body for Tianlang-Jun, a conjecture that now appeared to be correct. It was just that Tianlang-Jun did not seem to be very compatible with this new body.

okay, things are starting to make sense, i guess. all my head can think about, tho, is “when is lbh gonna show up? can someone tell him his shizun is alive, ‘cause i don’t think i can do this... whatever it is sqq and father-in-law are doing without lbh dragged into it. which is probably what makes it all feel so dangerously hilarious? i feel conflicted.

EDIT 10: 

Shen Qingqiu paused, then asked, “Is the next step extinguishing all of humanity?”

Tianlang-Jun seemed confused. “Why would you think like that? Of course not. I like humans, just not the four great sects.”

He smiled, then continued: “In contrary, I have a gift to give to the human race.”

Although he didn’t know what this so-called gift was, it definitely wasn’t some ribbon-wrapped object that would bring humanity great joy! Shen Qingqiu had just begun to spit out a rather out-of-practice “f**k” when suddenly, the mausoleum began to shake.

this novel really knows how to mix humor and angst, and i need more. like, are they threatening each other or are they becoming friends? should i feel trilled or scared? WHAT’S GOING ON? DO THEY HAVE THE KEY TO MAKE LBH DO WHATEVER THEY WANT?

EDIT 11:

Tianlang-Jun listened carefully for a moment. “They’ve arrived a lot faster than I thought.” He turned towards Zhuzhi-Lang. “How many?”

Zhuzhi-Lang said, “At least two hundred.”

IS LUO BINGHE HERE? IS HE?   I S   H E ?????

EDIT 12: 

Shen Qingqiu’s heart lurched. He blurted out: “The Jinlan City sowers. Was that part of your plan to make me leave Cang Qiong Mountain sect?”

so wait, father-in-law has always been there plotting against... with... well, behind the scene of sqq’s moves? wow, that’s intriguing!! i need more sqq/father.in-law talks! though i’m still trying to understand whether they are trying to kill shizun or not?

EDIT 13:

Tianlang-Jun calmly replied, “Summoning Peak Lord Shen here was also because of my own selfishness.”

He sighed. “That son of mine, to raise him for so many years really has been an inconvenience for Peak Lord Shen.”

Although he had long suspected that this matter had to do with Luo Binghe, hearing his name still made Shen Qingqiu’s heart tremble. He begrudgingly tried to pump himself up, before asking: “Luo Binghe? What does this have to do with him?”

Tianlang-Jun snorted, lowering his head. “How do I say this? I’ve noticed that towards Peak Lord Shen, he’s extremely…”

THEEEEERE WE GO, THE MAIN DISH!!! AAAAAAH I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. are they going to talk about lbh being in love with shizun or what? though i don’t think that’ll be the case, but he finally said his son’s name! aaaaah tell me more!

EDIT 14: E X C U S E  M E  2.0 WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK????? HE WANTS LBH’S BODY????? I WAS JOKING, I DON’T WANNA READ ANYTHING ANYMORE, DON’T EVEN MENTION YOUR SON’S NAME AGAIN OR I SWEAR TO GOD- 

EDIT 15: okay, i actually feel like we need to thank father-in-law? shizun’s brain had a big revelation and he is probably not only in the right path to realise this is not the novel he knew or believed to be anymore, but that lbh is not the atrociously bad character he remembers -he is a person, and one he unjustly hurt, too. AND MY HEART IS TROBBING IN RELIEF. PLS

EDIT 16: DO I OR DO I NOT HAVE A LBH RADAR IN ME? HE HAS ARRIVED.

Luo Binghe stood on the head of a pitch-black giant beast, his black robes billowing wildly in the dust. The Xin Mo sword lay unsheathed on his back. A pair of eyes glinted red in the light, overlooking the scene with ferocious killing intent.

AND HE IS SO FREAKING COOL

[notailtheories]

NotailsAndMore Tweet Compilation 2

Last Compilation | Next Compilation

This section will contain the tweets that I consider make up Act 2. Because they are not actually from O-1, you could also consider them an intermission... But they still hold important information either way. OwO

This batch of tweets began a little over an hour after the last round stopped... Which isn’t a very long pause. You can most easily tell the difference because this person’s face is “TvT” rather than “=)”, if you’re looking to track these from the Twitter itself... OwO

98 |

I passed out and I wake up to me being logged into this creepy ass notail fact account. Fuck off who did this? TvT

Reply to 8, & 99 |

hate to be a stickler for details but you didn't say a fact just a question tho i *would* like to know some notail facts about my dark past :D

Holy fuck. Look if you know me O-2 sir I just want you to know I did not make this account or tweeped at you, I just woke up to this. Who tweeps shit like this at an O-class? TvT

100, reply, & 102, reply, 108, reply, & 112 |

X-7364 if this was you and some of your shitty experiments I WILL strangle all of your dirty rats. These O classes could order my death for no reason. You even used my actual email to do this. They could figure out who I am! TvT

Your buddy even said "fuck you" to me. Now that guy's got some real claws. >:3 

I am so sorry O-6 sir. I had nothing to do with this but I will still apologize. Please forgive me, I'm ok if you don't forgive my friend and kill him though. TvT

Grovelling ain't pretty, you know. But hey, you ain't done anything, right? Maybe I'll let you go. >:3

You would be most kind if you let me go for words that were not my own. Thank you. TvT

I'll think about it. >:3

Thank you. That is all I ask, and all I am allowed to ask. TvT

Reply to 98, 101, reply, 109, reply, 113, reply, 114, reply, & 115, reply, 118, reply, 119, reply, 120, reply, 122, reply, 124, reply, 125, reply, & 126 |

lol u rly had me worried there sweetie :3 im still curious abt this whole thing if u want 2 help me find out abt it :3

I didn't write any of this! This has to be an X class prank. "Ha Ha, make your friend pass out, make an account with their email and possibly kill them by telling O-6 that you love them. So funny!" TvT

lmao u creeped out like every single o class tho i think thats kinda an achievement u should be proud of urself :3 whoever made this account was saying some really spooky stuff tho do u think it was just creepypasta or what :3

Please don't say I did it. I had nothing to do with this. I wouldn't contact the O classes, much less say such things to them, for they are most favorable to my survival. It was just some shitty prank. Some of the reactions are, strange, but that is no matter to me. TvT

watching u suck up 2 them is rly funny lol but kk babe i guess ill drop it :3 smh i thought this was something cool :3

I rather not relate "something cool" with angering the O classes but I understand. TvT

suckuuuuuuuup :3

I rather live a suck up than die for something I didn't do. TvT

how abt i give u smth else 2 suck on hot stuff :3

Look I don't even have a tweeper and I'm about to abandon this account and never touch it again. So my response to that is "um bye." TvT

i hate 2 see u leave but i love 2 watch u go :3

That's extremely holy and not ok. TvT

i hope ur not as disappointing in bed as ur friends failed arg was on tweeper :3

How could a notail raise so high to grace? TvT

u sure raise some things of mine baby :3

I would block you but I'm not going to be related to this account anymore, and if my friend logs back in I'm ok with him getting fucked over by your words. TvT

id prefer 4 u 2 to get fucked by me :3

Courtship between notails is not ok, but I suppose you know that. Just understand that "no." TvT

lol our society sux anyway i dont think its possible to pollute our gene pool more than its already fucked up babe :3

Ok well society gives me a roof over my head, food, and the time I got bit by a mallon I was experimenting on society fixed my arm before it rotted away. So we'll have to agree to disagree. TvT

lmao :3 the more u talk the more stupid and boring u seem :3

Says the notail who keeps going after clearly making me uncomfortable. But "sigh" I guess that's most people. TvT

ppl are funniest when theyre uncomfortable :3

Typical notail. You fit in just nicely. TvT

Original, 103, reply, & 105 |

@NotailsAndMore is it time for my 13 other facts?

Look it up yourself? Go read the Cosmosdex or something. I may be a K class but I'm not some fact machine. TvT

The what

Can you not look up basic and common terms? Geez look. http://cosmosdex.com/cosmosdex/ TvT

104, reply, & 107 |

X-7364 just walked in with coffee and called me a sleepy head. Said I passed out after intensely working on typing. Said I wouldn't respond to me when he had a question. He's lying, he knows he went overboard this time. TvT

You may want to improve your security. This could have ended very badly for you. :V

I will do what you recommended O-7 sir as you are most wise as all O classes are. I do have good security, I must have passed out so fast my computer didn't lock so my roommate and coworker decided to fuck with me. TvT

106, reply, 111, reply, & 117 |

I just checked the profile page to see if I could find some evidence of who did this. "i'm not sorry i told the truth when you didn't. no one deserves lies." The hell. If this is over lying about who ate the last pizza I'm going to be pissed. TvT

This went better for you than it could have mate, but I would recommend keeping closer guard over your belongings. Some of the other O-classes seem a bit agitated right now. uvu

Fully understood O-5, who kicks clockworks across the skies. I'll attempt to not pass out at my computer with my roommate around. TvT

The epithets aren't necessary mate. But maybe give your roommate a kick so they don't pull this again for good measure. uvu

I will make sure to give him a kick no matter how much he says he had nothing to do with this. Thank you for the advice O class. TvT

Original, & 110 |

@NotailsAndMore Once you figure out who did this, send me their ID number. Immediately. unu

I....think it's my roommate X-7364, but he's swearing the whole time this was going on I was working and refused to respond. I don't believe him but he sounds so serious about this. TvT

Reply to other party, & 116 |

Is there any way I can convince it to become a solid Yes? c:<

(Note: I won’t record this whole exchange because I don’t think it’s relevant... The context is O-8 is looking for who made this account. That’s all. OwO)

I know this is rude of me, and feel free to confirm this, but will you spare my roommate? He seems so honest in his pleads that he didn't do it.... He's the only one who could have done it, so it's him, but it seems like he regrets it deeply now. TvT

Original, 121, reply, 123, reply, & 127 |

I really am impressed by how many people they managed to unsettle in, what, an hour? uvu

Honestly as an X class he is naturally unsettling but I've never seen him act this badly. I wonder if I really ticked him off with the pizza thing. TvT

I've dealt with much worse than some X class...if it was just that then whatever...what does your friend know....OwO

I wish he would just admit it already. He said a few really odd things on this account and I have no idea where he's getting it from. Just. Fucking admit it X! Why is he being so rude to O classes you guys could KILL or BANISH us. TvT

It feels like something stranger is going on...OwO

It's just a stupid prank. A stupid prank that's now getting us basically evicted cause we can't stay here anymore. Stupid, stupid, prank. TvT

128, & 129 |

Ok this account is done. My roommate likely made this account as a laugh and somehow got the attention of the O classes. I'm sorry this happened even though I had nothing to do with it. I wish I could say my friend was sorry too but he's pissed off. TvT

Logging out, and never logging back in again. Yet again. Sorry for all the problems this account caused. Just unfollow this account. Bye. TvT

[ THIS ACCOUNT IS DEAD | Shitty prank by shitty roommate/friend who refuses to admit it | Will never be logging in ever again ]

Last Compilation | Next Compilation

[gontagokuhara]

me and @thisiswhatmylifeamountsto created a boyfriend for jared kleinman and here he is

lgbtrucy: idea: jared has the Biggest crush on one of his online gamer friends and while literally Everyone is aware hes gay (he told them all himself he wants them all to Know) he would rather die than admit he likes this online friendconnor finds out by accident. it turns wild

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Dude yes ((((((GAYmer friend)))))))) Nope you

*Nope you’re committed to this now - how does Connor find out? 

lgbtrucy: and i feel like jared has connor and evan over around his place and theyre playing something online and jared’s friend comes on and jared’s immediately like “evan give the controller to connor i cant look like my friends are bad at video games"and connor is like >:) whats this

and he isnt horrible at video games, he just doesnt rly care about them (and jared Knows This) so when connor starts playing the worst he’s ever played jared is pissed

lgbtrucy: “connor what the hell man, you’re making me look like shit, knock it off!!”

evan eventually catches on and he and connor just start. making the fuck out in the middle of the game and jared has to get his headset on and apologize to his friend

“dude im so sorry my co-op is making out with his boyfriend IN MY ROOM, WHICH IS REALLY FUCKING WEIRD CONNOR, anyways sorry but hes the only one here that can play w me”

lgbtrucy: and connor is a smug asshole so hes like “oh who you talking to jared??” and jared goes red as hell and is like “no one just a friend online—you Were playing against him until you started fucking evan on my bedroom floor”

and the tiniest, giggliest “hot” comes from the headset and In That Moment, evan and connor pledge themselves to hooking jared up w this mysterious gamer boy who is so obviously perfect for jared

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: THIS IS SO GOOD IM CACKLING AND CRYING Please tell me more about the adventures of Jared and mysterious gamer boy

lgbtrucy: ok So jared and mystery boy

lgbtrucy: his name is elliot, he’s half-korean, and i love him

lgbtrucy: hes goofy and more conventionally funny as opposed to jared, who’s funny by being kind of mean and using crude humor

lgbtrucy: anyways later on, evan is over at connor’s house and they break out connor’s scarcely-used xbox and send a friend request to elliot

once theyre friends, they sort of keep up appearences for a little while, playing games with him and eventually moving into text chatting and talking on headsets (connor had to spend $50 on a new headset. he was not pleased)

lgbtrucy: and one day they not-so-casually let slip the fact that they were “the guys who were fucking on jared’s floor” (evan nearly choked when elliot said that) and elliot is like !! “no way!! you guys are friends with jared?”

lgbtrucy: and because evan is a #good friend hes talking jared up “oh yeah jared is like my best friend, he’s so funny and cool and really good at video games” and elliots just “yeah, i know right” all dreamily and connor + evan know their plan is gonna Work

lgbtrucy: and connor says “maybe you two should meet up or something, i heard theres a convention or whatever near here this weekend” and elliot is like “!!heck yeah i just gotta ask my mom”

lgbtrucy: fastforward to the con: connor and evan are being dragged around by jared while he shows off excitedly but he suddenly halts when connor calls out, “hey, elliot.”

lgbtrucy: and jared doesnt know what elliot looks like. he doesnt know that its him officially. the only reason connor and evan know is bc they traded numbers and selfies so they could find each other

and elliot yells back “hey connor! hey evan!” and jared Knows because he knows his voice and he is ready to Die and break evan’s other arm

lgbtrucy: because evan Knows hes gay and even if he would rather cut off his own foot than admit he actually Likes elliot, evan knew that he thought really highly of him and What The Fuck evan???

lgbtrucy: and elliot approaches and looks at jared all smiles and asks him “jared?” and jared just kind of dazedly nods and elliot Lights Up and hugs him (jared nearly collapses) and is like “oh my god man im so excited to meet you!!!! i was looking forward to this all week since evan and connor told me about this!!!” and jared gives them A Look but hes lowkey happy

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Honestly this was all I ever wanted wow

lgbtrucy: so the four of them walk around the con, connor and evan kinda trailing behind because elliot is talking to jared about the mechanics behind some game they both like and how calculating the math of it made him really good, and it helps him w his adhd, and theyre all happy and gay(jared gets elliots number later)(and the rest is history) in conclusion im very passionate about jared and his gamer bf

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: That was beautiful I also applaud your dedication I am also v passionate about Jared and his gamer boyfriend tbh

lgbtrucy: #givejaredaboyfriend2k17

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Now that is a cause I can get behind I’m kinda laughing at imagining gamer bf finding out about jared’s obsession with bath bombs

lgbtrucy: jared whispers “love the cronch” and everyone else loses it but elliot is just ?? “what????”

lgbtrucy: its explained to him and more than anything hes confused about why he would waste a $10 bath bomb by eating it

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Honestly so am I Wtf Jared But just think about Connor embarrassing Jared as much as possible 

Because like He’s done the nice bit by getting them to meet And now he can be a little shit

lgbtrucy: “dear elliot cho we’ve been way too out of touch  life has been crazy and it sucks that we dont talk that much. but i should tell you that i think of you each night; i rub my nipples and start moaning in delight” “CONNOR WHAT THE F U C K NO”

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: I’M CRYING NO I CAN’T THAT WORKS SO WELL

lgbtrucy: while jared is Suffering elliot is just delighted at how cute he is “dont be embarrassed man its cute!!”

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: ((((((Dammit why am I so attached to this fictional fictional character))))) Also On the list of things I want for no particular reason Alana + Elliot brotp

lgbtrucy: YES they both talk a lot but theyre both very on par with each other intelligence wise so it balances out??

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Yes yes yes 

They do that thing where they both speak over each other a lot but they’re both happy because they’re enjoying what they’re talking about Plus Elliot is the one who gets her to call her friends her friends instead of her acquaintances

lgbtrucy: ye hes a good influence on everybody but everybody is Not a good influence on him

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Tell me more?

lgbtrucy: connor gets him high and he nearly drowns himself trying to race connor in a swimming contest

lgbtrucy: jared fucks his sense of humor for good. everytime someone mentions the word “dick” he laughs for ten minutes straigh

tzoe convinces him to dye his hair baby pink. she messes up the dying process and he ends up with electric pink hair

evan and alana are the only good influences 

tbhthisiswhatmylifeamountsto: So far he’s got bright pink hair, laughing at dicks and drowning Amazing ((((OK but Jared being a little shit all the time But when Elliot thinks he’s going to far He gives Jared a look Like a LOOK And Jared is sort of like Oh shit OK That was pretty fucked up Sorry))))

lgbtrucy: yes!! he uses that look a Lot when connor and jared are in the same room

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Oh yeah definitely But one time Jared, Connor, Elliot and Evan are together for a while And Elliot doesn’t have to use the look once And he’s really damn impressed

lgbtrucy: jared gets an extra round of smorches. jared decides he likes that better than fucking w connor

thisiswhatmylifeamountstoYes But Connor is really confused??? Because like Sure Jared’s better with Elliot But suddenly he’s a downright angel??? And it’s weird But one day when Connor is feeling like shit Jared genuinely helps him out And Connor doesn’t care what happened It happened And it’s good

lgbtrucy: they still fuck w each other but its more lighthearted 

nowthisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Like more “Hey I’m kinda being mean to you but it’s ok because we both know we love each other But in a heterosexual way Because we would never date Ever No Stop thinking about it" 

Honestly Elliot sometimes questioned whether he should wonder if Jared was cheating on him but he A) trusted Jared B) could see how in love Connor was with Evan

lgbtrucy: he realizes even tho theyre being nicer to each other they could never date. they get caught at evans house together when a bad storm hits and they have to stay overnight and by the time they leave theyre beginning to go at each others throats so. no chemistry there

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Accurate Wait crap what about the Evan + Elliot brotp

lgbtrucy: they get along rly well honestly theyre good influences

elliot has adhd so he Knows how it feels when things become too much nd they can bond over similar experiences

lgbtrucy: good friends 10/10 would brotp

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: I feel like their friendship is really pure Like half the time their conversations are just a bunch of compliments thrown at each other? Honestly I’m convinced that Elliot is my fave and this is really bad

lgbtrucy: elliot is the unproblematic fave

he just likes video games and his friends and his bf

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: ok but Elliot not having any close friends He’s that guy who chats to everyone but has noone to confide in etc And then he finds some online But it’s still not the same And suddenly he has five??? And like They all really like him Like obviously he knew Jared And he got to know Connor and Evan But Zoe and Alana love him too And I’m just such trash for this au wow

lgbtrucy: ELLIOT LOVES ALL OF HIS BEST FRIENDS

when someone asks who his bff is he cant choose"oh man i dont know!! i love all my friends the same theyre all really great” (crying boyfriend sounds in the distance)

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Honestly every time Elliot does something really sweet/pure/nice Jared cannot handle it At all Because !!!! MY !!!!!!!! BOYFRIEND !!!!! HE’S SO CUTE But going back to drunk Jared Imagine drunk Jared with sober Elliot

lgbtrucy: "HI DID YOU KNOW I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND ELLIOT HES REALLY NICE AND CUTE AND R ES LLY GOOD AT VIDEO GAMES”

lgbtrucy: “o….oh really?” elliot is dying blushing at this point

“YEA HES REALLY GOOD DID YOU KNOW HE USES MATH AND SHIT TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES? IT SOUNDS LAME BUT HES RESLLY GOOD. AND ALSO VERY CUTE DID I MENTION I LOVE MY BOYFRIEJD HIS NAME IS ELLIOT”

someone (probably connor or zoe) is recording at this point. evan is near tears lauging. elliot is In Love

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: When Jared watches the video in the morning he gets really nervous because he hasn’t seen Elliot that morning But when he does “So I hear you have a boyfriend named Elliot and he’s really cute? Interestingly enough I have a boyfriend named Jared’s who’s really cute - look how much we have in common” And Jared dies

lgbtrucy: DHSHSHS YES THATS SO CUTE (connor posts the video. it goes semi-viral. jared dies for a different reason)

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: (Jared moans that he’s lost all of his street cred Nobody has the heart to tell him he never had any in the first place) OK but how often do Jared and Elliot so they’re going on a date And then the next day everyone finds out the ‘date’ consisted of beating each other at every single video game either of them owned

lgbtrucy: elliot is always swooning over these “super romantic” dates and everyone is like ??? jared?? ROMANTIC??? and its a big thing trying to find out just what jared and elliot do

turns out these romantic dates are playing video games for 10 hours and then going to mcdonalds at 3 am and sharing a milkshake

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Like when they find out everybody sort of wonders why they expected anything else 

They met in person at a con through a shared love for video games after about three months of planning because neither of them wanted to make a move

lgbtrucy: elliot, unironically: jared is the most romantic person in the world everyone: that sounds fake but ok

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: But I feel like Jared would be a really attentive bf Like he actually pays attention to what’s going on in Elliot’s life Like the day he has a big exam he has everything 100% prepared to congratulate him/cheer him up depending on how it went

lgbtrucy: hes a really good bf but only like…..secretly. he has to keep up his Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman appearance

physical affection is where he hesitates tho hes v awkward with holding hands/kissing/cuddling. elliot has to initiate all of it

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Elliot so called him that once to make fun of him but it’s stuck now and they can’t get Jared to stop coming into a room announcing himself as the INSANELY COOL JARED KLEINMAN 

Elliot felt awkward about it first because he wasn’t sure whether Jared was comfortable with it and he didn’t want to make Jared feel bad But then they have a long, way-overdue talk and work out how things are gonna work

lgbtrucy: its not from a lack of interest that jared doesnt initiate it he just. where do u put ur hands. is it weird to just kiss ur bf randomly. fuck evan was right hands DO get sweaty abd [panic alarm] but as soon as elliot touches him hes like “nice” and is totally into it

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: OK honestly I’m so sad that Elliot doesn’t exist he’s literally Jared’s ideal boyfriend this is such a travesty

lgbtrucy: make elliot famous

THE ELLIOT PROJECT

except its me posting at 2 am about how much i love him