#its kind of an eyesore LOL

[0nlyhere4phil]

as it fucking should be.

[throathole]

As much as I loooove furniture and I love trying to find things secondhand. Furniture shopping in 2024 just kind of sucks lol everything sold by big furniture stores is a major aesthetic eyesore slapped together from shitty particle board that looks tailor-made for live laugh love-esque suburban families… and if you want something beautiful and well made the vintage/antique resellers have already scooped it up and increased the price by 1000 dollars because they put “mid century modern” in the listing. Your best bet is to just cross your fingers and hope you stumble across something good on Facebook marketplace, which is its own unique circle of hell

[jimmyandthegiraffes]

Fic Writing Review 2023 🌈

Thank you sm @itwoodbeprefect for the tag!!!

I hardly published anything this year so if u wanna skip to 'projects for 2024' that's gonna be the most interesting bit >.<

Words and Fics (on ao3) 📚

words posted: 714 💀 but many more words were written, just not posted lol fics posted: 1 first fic/last fic 😅: King of the Eyesores - Doctor Who (1963)

Ships and Fandoms ⚓

Doctor Who - no ships really but KotE is Mike Yates-centric.

Top 5 Fics by Kudos 🏆

It's KotE again lol which is at 6 kudos. Of all time, tho:

After the Hour(glass) - Night at the Museum (Jedtavius)

Less Than Ideal Circumstances - The Man from UNCLE (TV) (Napollya)

When They Sleep - The Man from UNCLE (TV)

Dismiss Your Fears - Back to the Future

After All, I'm Only Sleeping - Doctor Who (1963)

Top 5 Favorite Fics 💖

KotE......... I do actually rly enjoy KotE I think it has potential in terms of where it's going. But since I only posted one fic in 2023, I'll do my top 5 of fics I've ever posted. Apart from the first one this is in no particular order

tickertape - The A-Team (TV) it's my baby it's all I thought about for months of my life, it's like an iceberg (i.e. most of it is in my WIP doc, and only a tiny fraction is published so far), it got me thru a difficult time, it's an exploration of mental illness and complicated messy relationships expressed in epic format (i.e. it's probably gonna be novel length when it's done)

Bullet Number Six - Starsky & Hutch (TV) it received criticism for being obscure and hard to follow bc it switches pov briefly halfway thru but idc i love it anyway

I Gotta Right to Sing the Blues - The A-Team (TV) it was my first A-Team fic and I still think for a beginner it nailed some p realistic in-character dialogue and addressed an undertone I wished I'd seen addressed in the ep it's a coda to.

When They Sleep - The Man from UNCLE (TV) it's kind of riddled with certain mannerisms of my slightly older writing which I personally find a bit annoying and have worked to iron out for the sake of elegance over the years. but I still think it's a cool little exploration of all my sleep headcanons for the pair of them in one place

King of the Eyesores - Doctor Who (1963) see it made it to the list after all! I kinda like it more for its potential than for what it is right now butttttt who cares.

special mention to Unbereft (Starsky & Hutch) which I really really like but I wrote it in one frenzied sitting and only remembered after I'd posted it that it was very like someone else's fic I'd read several years previously. I don't think it's too much like to be taken down and I've since mentioned the writer of the other fic (it was dawnwind, hello!) in the notes. that's the only reason unbereft isn't in my top 5 because I'm otherwise really proud of how well it's written. Not to tootle on my own trumpet.

Fandom fic events

none RIP but maybe this year!!

Projects for 2024

Okay here we goooooooooooo

priority 1 is to finish the unfinished works that I've already half posted: King of the Eyesores, Every Line A Comedy, OUTATIME, The Windhover, tickertape, The Hanoi Bank Job and Other Misadventures, 38 Hours. Bolded are my top priorities.

other works that I'm writing but which haven't seen the light of day at all yet:

Dear Mike - an epistolary between Jo Grant and Mike Yates following her marriage to Cliff Jones.

The Lark/Behind That Locked Door (working titles) - a 30-chapter 2/Jamie fic about season 6B in which Jamie suffers permanent memory problems after the War Games. It explores grief, social ostracism, feeling abandoned, undirected anger, guilt, and acceptance that healing sometimes is a process that is never complete. I've been working on it since about 2016 lol but I'm lazy I just need to press on.

hell valley au - as yet untitled lol. In which the Hell Valley!Marty (who is never seen in BTTF2 as he is in Switzerland) and Hell Valley!Doc (who has been institutionalized) break out of their respective situations and go on the run together. But there's a problem - they had to leave Einstein behind, and when they get information that Einie is to be used for a dogfight, they make the risky decision to go back to Hill Valley to rescue him. However, going back to the place they just escaped by the skin of their teeth also brings them face to face with the last person they expect to meet.

a changed man (working title) - a Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased) fic from Jeannie's pov. mostly it's about their picnic excursions but it's also about Jeannie wishing Marty wasn't such an elephant in the room

mfu/rahd xover (untitled) - the first chapter of this is almost ready to go tbh. it's what it says on the tin lol, Napoleon and Illya go to London and get help from a rather eccentric private detective who has uncanny powers of solving impossible cases but also they think is probably clinically insane

to see him happy - VERY weird rahd fic. it's smut but its also about grief. might never post it because several of my family members have access to my tumblr and therefore my ao3 lol they dont need to see that

the winter of '62 - a study of jeff and marty's life when they lived together in a grotty bedsit and couldnt afford to put the heating on

star wars (untitled) - set during ROTJ, han pov. han's lost a lot of time and now everyone is one step ahead of him which isn't a sensation he's used to

skyrissian - what it says on the tin lol

the older gen (untitled) - jeeves fic about bertie's aunts and uncles and parents as they were as they variously grew up, got married, had children, died (or didn't), fell prey to alcoholism or insanity or petty crime, went to war, prospered (or didn't)... This is pretty unlikely to be finished this year tbh as it's very detailed but I can dream

a couple of long form fics about starsky & hutch and mfu respectively (the s&h one is set post sweet revenge, the mfu one takes place at various moments throughout the show)

x-files series - canon compliant until paperclip and then gradually diverges into how i think the show should have gone lol. another biggie

and a handful of tintin fics that im protective of and might never post but we'll see - one where tintin and chang go on holiday in london after picaros, one where the gang encounters rajaijah one last time (featuring a letter from didi, chang making a very daring crossing at the songolese border, and tintin taking about ten years to chop up a clove of garlic), and one where tintin gets shitfaced at an embassy ball and accidentally starts an Incident. haddock looks on, appalled.

i knoooooooooooooooowww this is a lot but i'm not realistically hoping to finish it all this year but it's nice to have lots of things to play around with lol.

unfortunately i have the eternal problem of not ever knowing which of my mutuals write fic and which of those havent already been tagged but imma tag @theteaisaddictive and genuinely if u see this and u write fic ur tagged i want to knowwwwwwwwwwwww <333

[inks-and-octos]

(HAIIII from @commanders-quarters hope u don’t mind me interacting! i saw u reblog my rp role call post! ^_^ i have not done any sort of nsfw rp with anyone in soooo long but BELIEVE IT OR NOT!!!!! my iteration of tartar is freaky asf he’s just on the down-low abt it……… anyways i picked aria to pester cuz it seemed like she’d have the most interesting potential for interactions with this fellow sadist LOL)

The sunlight basking the Octoling’s skin was blotted out by an unexpected presence. Of all the threats she hoped to encounter on the battlefield, a towering 18-foot robot was likely not one of them.

Its neck creaks downwards as it sets its face in her direction.

“I already consider Turf Wars to be an eyesore, but you are very eye-catching. That is no compliment.” he drones, gauging her expression, wondering if that boldness from her earlier battles will persist even now.

“For an Octoling, you are BEYOND unruly! Why, the way you parade around, laughing in the cowering faces of your adversaries, playing with them like a cat to a mouse- it’s just shameful!”

With a sudden lurch of one of his large metal arms, he snags Aria by the back of her clothing and hoists her up to be at face level with him. A streak of teal ink spreads across its steel visage, resembling a smile of mockery.

“I have never seen an Octoling behave so carelessly. Don’t you know you are not the one who stands atop the food chain?!” the AI asks with a hint of menace in its synthetic voice.

(I don't mind at all.)

Aria didn't really struggle when she was grabbed. Even if she did, it wasn't going to do her any good. "I enjoy freaking others out during a match, no big deal. At least I'm not like some that take Turf Wars way too seriously and treat them like actual battles. Kind of why most of us Octolings traveled to Inkopolis, we got tired of trying to restart that dumb war we lost."

She'd look into the robot's face, smirking as she crossed her arms. "And yeah, I know I'm not at the top. Don't got the stomach to actually kill someone. Not even those Salmonids."

[gontagokuhara]

OMG THAT LAST CHAPTER AAAAA my boys 🥹 if you hadn't said it on here, I would've never known you struggled w/writing Kokichi, it seriously feels so natural and I LOVE when authors include that clowny jester vibe to him!! But now that we're REALLY REALLY into the thicc of the story, I'm realizing how much I miss the camp!! idk about everyone else, but it was always the most interesting setting for me when I was into Percy Jackson! So basically I'm gonna annoy you with my barrage of questions that are 100% unrelated to the most recent chapter 😭

I know it was mentioned that Maki's cabin was undecorated for a long time, but did she ever get to personalizing it? I'd love to know about the cabins and their designs! I'd also love to know what kind of stuff they do at the talent shows? Idk if its the fact that the fic is based off the pjo musical, but I get theatre kid vibes from specifically kaede (even if she can't sing LOL) Speaking of her, since it was mentioned that she could play any instrument, I'm wondering if there were instruments /canon-specifically-talent-related equipment at camp for everyone? Also some of the dialogue had me questioning if they're even allowed to curse at camp or not 😭

HIIIIII im finally getting to this <3 first of all i love you im kissing u on the forehead every time i get an ask or comment from u it makes my whole day.

answers to ur questions beneath the cut as always!!

i also miss camp </3 i was talking about this with someone else yday (hiiiii evan) but in a universe where pointy objects reaches its end and i STILL want more.....there are little one-off scenes that dont fit into the main narrative of the fic but i'd still theoretically like to write......and the immediate reaction to the campers (+ hajime and nagito) realizing seven of them went missing along with an rv. it would be a lot of dialogue but the phone calls nagito had to make to all the parents of the missing (good and bad) kids. also the godly meetings where shit went bad, and then really bad, and then somehow even worse. pointy objects has always been very v3-centric given our main characters, but some of my favorite chapters so far have been when i've been able to feel out characters from the other games as well.

ok. THAT was a big tangent LMFAO ok re: maki: yes! it took a long time; she had very little interest in doing decoration shopping or really Anything in the first year or so after arriving at camp/her friend's death (she also did not see her situation as static or permanent — no point in something like that, y'know?). for her 14th birthday, kaede took the reins on planning with nagito a cabin design that she thought maki might like; and now presently, her cabin has a "red velvet" theme! DIY headboard for her bed made with literal red velvet that kaede and maki built themselves, plush red sheets, red walls (another eyesore of a cabin...), with a small collection of photos and trinkets and artwork and decorations she's amassed over the years since. she has a picture of her parents sitting in the bottom drawer of her dresser than only kaede knows about.

as for the others — i take a lot of inspiration from their research labs, but i haven't plotted out in my head exactly how they all look, y'know? miu's is definitely very lab-like, angie's paints her walls white at the beginning of every summer and over the summer months fills them corner to corner with new designs, kiyo's has more bookshelves than wall space, the like.

now: talent shows! it's very informal, with prizes like choosing the next camp-wide game, getting out of dinner duty for a week, etc. classic staples include himiko's magic shows (with tenko as a willing and eager assistant) (who also will at times retrieve less willing participants from the audience) (usually nagito). miu tries her own "magic tricks" that usually involve adding new features to kiibo and making them parade them around onstage; kiibo gets their comeuppance by forcing miu to learn kpop dance choreo and perform with them (as kokichi films, naturally). kaede can play instruments to get around the limitations of her power (also yes — 100% theater kid, alongside kiyo [+ kokichi, who wont admit it]), and there's a whole collection of instruments in the girls' common area that she's mastered/is working on learning (her most recent is a theremin that she and kiyo are both very interested in). it's a lot of repeats, because there are some kids who always prefer to chill in the audience rather than get onstage themselves, but everyone has lots of fun <3 (except nagito [usually made to suffer during them] and hajime [often tasked with tie-breaking the winner, also suffering])

as for ur last question: TRUST they are definitely allowed to swear. hajime would've exploded years ago if that wasn't the case. the barrier they erected following tsumugi's massacre is capable of a lot of things, but nothing can defeat the resigned frustration of wrangling a clusterfuck of the weirdest demigods they've ever dealt with (/fond)

WOW that got long again! good thing i love it <3

[less-than-three-3]

played metroid prime just like everyone else on the planet, apparently

it was ok (for a metroid game) (that means it is still pretty damn good)

But I can’t lie, given the reputation this game has, I was somewhat disappointed. For transparency, I did play it m+kb on my microsoft wii, though if I had shelled out the price for the remaster I doubt my experience would have been much different lol. Explanation below, with spoilers?

I’ll start with what it does well though, and that’s being Super Metroid but in 3d. In terms of exploration, how the world is presented, how you progress, etc. was translated to 3d pretty perfectly. Having pretty much no guidance and a full map, but still having one or maybe two actual correct ways that, if you just keep going forward or think about what you’ve seen before, you can find really easily. Honestly, in many ways, it just kinda feels like a really really big zelda dungeon. Or maybe zelda is a mini metroidvania. You decide! You can really see the bones of this game in so many modern metroidvanias. There’s not even really things you need to shoot a million times because of scan visor! 

And yeah, the scan visor is really cool. Being able to just scan to find out how to approach enemies, or how (or when) to get past obstacles, or learn stuff about the world is pretty neato. The other visors, though, were... ok, I guess. They aren’t interesting to use or anything, just *necessary to see certain enemies*, which I guess is fine just not nearly as interesting as scan visor. (They are also sort of an eyesore, and I imagine the remaster does improve on that)

Speaking of needing a thing to beat certain enemies, I just really hate the space pirates and drones and metroids that have a certain element that they can be hit by. This might just be some bias but I feel like they just take way too long to kill compared to their 2d counterparts, and being forced to use, say, ice beam (which shoots slow as hell) is just a slog. It kinda leads into my first major gripe, being that the combat feels like it takes a little too much of a spotlight for how... admittedly boring it can be. And this is with m+kb controls making aiming a lot better. I don’t really know if it’s actually just later enemies having too much health but the shooting doesn’t feel *that* fun or fluid, like in the 2d games, or out of the way, like in ori 1. Like if it was just a minor thing you just don’t have to think about I wouldn’t complain, but since fights take so long I can’t help but just be a little underwhelmed. 

It is definitely exacerbated by my second gripe, which is just that enemies, and especially bosses, are not that interesting? Like they have 1 or 2 attack patterns that you can recognize and dodge, and then you have your turn and you shoot them in the weak spot or with the weak element, rinse and repeat for however long. I think I can give it a little bit of a pass for how old the game is, but I just didn’t really feel that engaged by the bosses. Maybe that’s just a boss design thing and not the combat? I don’t know. Something in there just felt underwhelming.

One last thing to complain about, I promise, but I felt pretty much the entire last “act” was kind of... eh? I didn’t really care for the artifact hunt, it felt a little annoying (especially having to go through the space pirate research base again...). And then the back to back to back of Meta Ridley, Metroid Prime, then Metroid Prime again just really made a point of showing me the totally awesome boss fight design. Especially the final Metroid Prime form which I thought would be like Dark Beast Ganon like oh cool I super zap it to deal a ton of damage.... and then it dealt like maybe 1/10 of its health bar. And then it started summoning more metroids, some of which were the annoying ones. So it was just a really really... fun.... “I have my turn (for a full minute) and then you have yours (for 10 seconds)”. And to then top it all off, I don’t even get an evacuation sequence?? :/

This one’s a more minor, personal issue, and that’s just that I really don’t care to read so much lore. Environmental storytelling and worldbuilding, and ambient mood setting are things that I think Super Metroid perfected and nothing has really met, and that’s something I still believe even having played Prime. If you want to deliver story beats/developments/realizations in a game like this, you show don’t tell. I’m not delivering like a crazy revelation here, any writer knows this lol. But like, for example, to show that, say, the space pirates experimentations of phazon with metroids, instead of a bunch of space pirate data logs to read, there could have been like, idk, some metroid encounters or you see a metroid escape that looks unstable and oozing with phazon. And the chozo artifacts could definitely have been better tied to the phazon stuff too. It’s why I’ve always really enjoyed Fusion and Dread, even if they are departures from the way things are presented in Super, because they actually commit to narrative telling. Maybe I’m off base here, idk, but I just really wish there were less lore tablets and more intuitive things or like even straight up character interactions to show me what’s going on. I hope Silksong improves on that, but I doubt it. Wait what game are we talking about again?

Ok but enough negativity, I really enjoyed everything up to then. Like I said the actual metroidvania parts of it were really excellent. As good as Super Metroid? Not quite, but I do consider that pretty much peak metroidvania performance, so that’s a very high bar. It emulates it super well, and I was definitely really enjoying the full loop of unlocking and going further into the planet. The music too, was really good -- but again Super Metroid’s soundtrack is simply a masterpiece that I think even the 3DS and Switch’s adaptations/remasters of the same tracks don’t hit the same. 

All in all I think that’s pretty much a really good way to put it. It adapts Super Metroid’s strengths very well, but not quite to the extent of it, and some things do just get lost in the transition to 2D and 3D, I guess. It’s different from Fusion and Dread because those games are unabashedly more straightforward experiences, while still maintaining pretty much all the Metroid backbone and blood. It’s trying the same thing, but in a different form. I can respect it, but it’s definitely not my favorite. Which is a high bar! For reference I still end up rating this game pretty much a 9/10 - which may seem odd given all I’ve said, but I think for the most part this really hits the mark, and Metroid has just a really super good backbone, there’s just some.. growing pains? idk. I’ll definitely play the rest of the trilogy. I did see Dark Samus escape from metroid prime so... I think the next 2 games will definitely up the ante. Or maybe they won’t. We’ll see.

[chiconon]

I cannot do anything. But I can't just stand by and do nothing! gift for @akumafuwafuwa 𖥔 ˑ ִ ֗ ִ ۫ ˑ

[djmayday]

edgy sona edgy sona yea yea yea y

[jinxhallows]

Method Writing (Lucifer x Fem!Reader Explicit One Shot)

-x-x-x-x-x-

HAHAHAHA I wrote this on a whim after exchanging some DM’s with the incomparable @scarlettriot​ (if you haven't checked out her Red Riot shit its incredible!) so shout out to you for the idea queen LOL. Dis just a lil snackie yall aint nothing too crazy LOL as far as I’m concerned in my head this is as subby as im gon get from daddy LUC lmao

-------

ᴍᴇᴛʜᴏᴅ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ (ʟᴜᴄɪꜰᴇʀ x ꜰᴇᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ)

ᴄᴡ: ꜱᴍᴜᴛ, ꜰᴇᴍ!ᴅᴏᴍ, ʜᴜᴍɪʟɪᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱQᴜɪɴᴛ ʟᴏʟ, ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴀʟ ᴅᴇᴍᴏɴ ᴛʀᴀɴꜱꜰᴏʀᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴ

ʟᴇɴɢᴛʜ: ᴏɴᴇ-ꜱʜᴏᴛ

ᴡᴏʀᴅꜱ: ✩⋆  🎀  𝟤.𝟣k  🎀  ⋆✩

-----------------

You sigh in frustration as you lean back in your computer chair, staring hard at the few lines of text you had written.

“Hit another wall?” Lucifer asks, peering over his glasses from across the room where he sat, reading a tattered old book.

“Yes.” You frown, adjusting the display settings on the screen.  Maybe if you made the page black and the text a soft peach color, it would help shock your vision enough to reset your creative juices into flowing again.

Lucifer sets his book into his lap and takes off his glasses.  “What’s causing it this time?”

“I just…” You’re frowned up at the screen, trying to click around and make unnecessary adjustments.  “I’m not used to this kind of sexual dynamic.  When I write, its sounding too...fifty shades of grey-ish.” You settle on a brown page with an orange text instead.

But now you’re bothered by the font style.

As if anyone reading the manuscript would give a shit! You were supposed to use 12 point Times New Roman on the final copy anyway!  Damn it.  You were beginning to overthink and it was affecting the entire writing process that you used to enjoy.

“Isn’t that book wildly popular amongst human suburban wives? I’d perhaps argue it should sound like that if you intend for people to have an interest in purchasing it.”

You drag your hands down your face, pausing over your mouth, carefully trying to choose your next wording.  

“I’m not just doing this for money.  I’m trying to become a better writer, love.” You add the term of endearment at the end of your sentence, trying to sound less annoyed than you actually were.

“You are a marvelous writer, Y/N.  Your thought pattern is girded at the moment, no doubt; but that doesn’t negate the quality of your penmanship.” Lucifer stands up, gently placing his book on the small table next to him as he crosses the room to hover over your shoulder, looking at your screen.

“What a dreadful eyesore, why have you edited the screen like this?” His arm crosses over you to stabilize himself as he leans in front of you, clicking around on the screen to return it to normal.

“Because I was trying to inspire myself, Luc, wait—” You reach underneath him and place your hand over his on the mouse.  He glances down over his shoulder at you.  “Maybe you could help me?”

“That’s why I’m fixing the screen.”

“No, you have to let me write it Lucifer.” You use a stern tone, “You could write this entire book in minutes, I want to be able to do it myself.  I need you to help me in a different way…”

He stands up and raises a brow, “This is an erotic novel.  Do you want me to fuck you?”

You’re briefly taken aback when he drops out of his tightly constructed pattern of speech to say a brazen phrase like ‘Do you want me to fuck you’.

“How do I explain this…I need you to be…submissive for me.”  Your eyes darken, “Allow me to dominate you.  Just a little bit, so I can get a feel for it.”

“My sweetheart, I would love to help you, but submission is not a part of my framework.” He chuckles, “I would have no idea where to start.”

“Exactly.  You wouldn’t start, I would.” You lean back in the chair, folding your arms across your chest as you challenge him.  “I have no idea how to be dominant but if we try together, maybe we can figure it out.  At the very least, it’ll give me a break from all this.” You tilt your head at the screen.

Lucifer runs his thumb over his lower lip, considering your proposition.  “Let’s say I agree to this arrangement, for tonight only...” his eyes meet yours, “You never breathe a word of this to anyone.”

You bite back your shit-eating grin.  “I promise.”

“I’m very serious my love…” He’s towering over you, placing both his hands on the arms of your chair, leaning you back as his scarlet eyes burn through you. HIs lips ghost your cheek and rest right next to your ear and you nearly shiver as he whispers,

“If I hear that anyone knows about this, I will devour you.” he pulls back to look you in your eyes once more.

“Am I understood?”

Wide-eyed, you give a slow nod.  His gaze flits over your face for a moment before he’s satisfied and stands back up.  

“Alright then,” he starts to pull his shirt over his head,  “What would you like for me to do for you?”

You watch him, your thoughts racing and your adrenaline causing you to get a little too excited about this experiment.  Suddenly, this powerful man was going to be at your mercy.  Well, Lucifer wasn’t someone who would go down willingly of course.  All the better, you had to work for it.

Talk about method writing.

You arch your foot, dragging your painted toes up his leg until you were over his groin.  You never take your eyes off of his as you press the sole of your foot slowly into him, taking the time to feel the outline of his cock through his silk pajama pants.

“First thing I need you to do is get on your knees.” You push in a little harder, feeling the slow firmness in his building erection.  “I’m not going to be looking up at my pet.”

His stare remains intense as he slowly drops down onto one knee, followed by the other.  “Like this?” He asks, now at eye level with you.

“Much better.” You praise and reach out to push a few stray wavy black locks behind his ear, “Good boy.” You study his expression and although he remains stolid, his fair skin betrays him as the redness rises in his cheeks.  He claims he doesn’t know what to do, but he listened well; and he was enjoying it to some small degree.  You stand up and push the chair away, beginning to circle around him, contemplating what you were going to do.

Damn it, he was so much better at this than you were.  He seemed to take command of you quickly and confidently, and here you were, overthinking again.

Still, it was turning you on to see him on his knees like this, waiting for your next move.  You suddenly have a strange idea, so you stop directly in front of him and he looks up at you from the ground.

“Release your horns for me.”

Lucifer silently obeys, two curled black rigid horns merging and curling from atop his scalp.  His hooded gaze makes you intoxicated with power and arousal.  It’s like he’s still the one in control, and is only allowing you the brief fantasy of believing you’re the one in charge.

This kind of irritates you, as you want him to fully submit to you.  You curl your fingers around his right horn and give it a tug, “Come.” You command.  He’s down on his hands and knees, crawling across the hard wooden floor as you guide him with your tight grip over to the bar cart.  You let go of him and he’s now staring at the floor.

Good.

Maybe he’s beginning to learn some humility.

His obedience is making you want to just sit on his cock already, but you want to truly focus on the feeling of being dominant more than just the act of intercourse.  You two knew how to fuck, that much was very clear; but you didn’t understand how this dynamic worked.  So you extended the slow burn just how you liked.

You sit upon his back, knowing the limits of his strength.  Of course, he doesn’t waver, and you grab a glass and pour yourself up some of his aged scotch.  You take a sip of it before spattering it back out.

“This is disgusting.” You look down at him and dump the remaining expensive scotch over his head without a thought.  

At first you gasp.

You went too far.

That was mean.

But he shakes his head to clear the liquid from his hair; reminding you of some kind of....goat-dog hybrid, what with his horns exposed and everything.  You notice his hands curling into fists on the ground but he doesn’t look up.  It makes you smile.  Good thing he can’t see that.

“What a good boy you’re being for me Lucifer.  Do you want me to reward you for your behavior?” You run your hands over his head several times, peeling back the wet, soaked locks from sticking to his brow and temple.

He exhales through his nostrils.  “Yes.” He mutters.  You can tell he wants to say so much more.

“Aht aht.” You give a tight yank of his horn, “Yes, what?”

He swallows, “Yes...M...” he’s struggling to say it.  You yank again, harder, forcing his head back at a painfully unnatural angle.

“You better not make this fucking difficult Lucifer, I can get real fucking nasty with you and you’re pissing me off.”

“Yes Mistress.” He finally mumbles, nearly inaudibly.

You stand up and walk in front of him, kneeling down and grasping his chin with your hand as you force him to look you in the face.  “I don’t think you understand what it means to be submissive, Lucifer.  You are not in control right now, I am. So all this useless pride can go in the garbage. I am your Mistress and you will address me as such or I’m going to fuck—you—up–” You squeeze his face tightly, digging your nails into his skin as your teeth clench together; before you finally let go.

You shake your hand from the pain of squeezing.  The deep, reddened nail marks you’ve imprinted into his skin begin to slowly fade as he watches you with an angry glower but doesn’t dare to object.

“Massage my hand you fucking worthless demon.”

“Yes, Mistress.”

You place your hand out and he sits up onto his knees again, taking your hand in his own and running his fingers over your skin, kneading into the muscle.  It feels so good, you almost forget the intention you had behind him doing it for you.

“That’s enough.” You snatch you hand away, “Good boy.” You look him up and down before your tone eases by a hair.  “I don’t want to have to be mean and nasty to you Lucifer, but please understand that your ego will be checked accordingly.  Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes Mistress. Crystal.” He replies tersely.

“I’m not a fan of that tone; but we can work on it...” You begin to undo your robe, the satin fabric falling around your body as you sit in his reading chair, your leg hanging over the arm.  His eyes scan over your naked body hungrily.

“You should allow me to clean you up.”  The lust building in his loins was getting overwhelmingly frenetic; but if there was one thing that Lucifer was going to do, it was maintain his composure.  He cleared his throat before asking again, more appropriately,

“Mistress, may I please clean you up?”

Your eyes lit up, “My sweet handsome pet, of course you may.”  You watch as he crawls over to you and obediently makes quick work of the wet arousal you’ve leaked over your thighs from the start.  Your flavor dances over his tongue as he swipes your inner thigh, over your folds, and slowly spreads them apart his lips closing over your pulsing bundle of nerves.  He’s sucking and licking and you are coming undone with how good it feels.

“Oh god that feels so good–” Your head falls back against the chair as the breathy words tumble from your lips.  He stops so abruptly, your head darts up again to look down at his beautiful face between your legs.

“Ah, there’s my pretty Mistress.  I just wanted to see your face.” He kisses your mound, “I love watching it twist up, when I make you feel this good.” His warm tongue flattens over your slit before slipping in between and caressing your clit. You struggle to keep your eyes on him, feeling your chest huffing with your quickened, irregular breathing pattern.  He drops you off the edge of a splintering orgasm that makes your back arch out of the chair, hand tangling in the hair between his horns, your grip tight as you ride out your release with a few bucks of your hips.  You come down with a pleasant sigh, relaxing into the chair.

“I think I have enough now…for the scene at least...” You giggle softly.

Lucifer stands up, and you are at eye level with the prominent stiffness in the front of his pants.  He then leans down to you with a malevolent smile.  

“Oh but we’ve only just begun.” He places his fingers under your chin, tilting your head up.  “This was a fun little game; but now you’ve made me so hard, it hurts. You wasted a very expensive glass of scotch being such a little brat.” He uses his thumb to pull down your lip, pressing the tip into your bottom teeth, hard.  You stare up at him, hooked onto his every word.

“I’m going to have to punish you for that.”  His voice becomes impossibly quieter, almost a demonic whisper, “You’ll have to forgive me, Mistress, but I’m going to fuck you until you can’t walk tomorrow.”

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: West Coast Avengers #12: THE ATTRACTION BETWEEN TWO BODIES!

September, 1986

Zzzax!

Quantum!

Halflife!

TROUBLE!

Oh ho, ah ha! I see we’re still doing random super goons for the West Coast Avengers to fight.

I won’t lie, I kinda like it.

Considering the meta plot is ‘Tigra needs to kill Master Pandemonium so the cat king will make her less horny,’ this string of random tricky goobers for the team to fight is entertaining. The wheels sure are spinning on the meta plot but we’ve got some good, dumb fights. It feels like a throwback to the simpler storytelling of the silver age Avengers.

Meanwhile, Stern’s Avengers is killing it on the more serialized style.

I know Zzzax as ‘when an electricity guy is needed but Electro is busy’ but the other two are new to me. Although Quantum looks like he should fight Captain Mar-Vell. He has the look of the kind of guy Mar-Vell would punch.

Halflife is clearly a bride of Frankenstein.

So let’s get into it.

Last times in West Coast Avengers: The Thing almost joined the team but then didn’t. The team fought Griffin and Headlok. Then, Mockingbird and co went to visit Nick Fury so she could give her sympathies for the poor, maligned intelligence community which was even then being compromised as hell. Then the team fought Shockwave, Zaran the Weapons Master, and Razorfist. And now, this:

I take back every nice thing I’ve ever said about Simon Williams.

That costume is an abomination.

The fact that the rest of the team repeatedly reassure him that it’s a great change proves that the West Coast Avengers have no taste whatsoever.

Shame on all of you.

Shame.

This isn’t a situation where I’m going to go ‘lol jk’ under the fold.

That costume bad.

Apparently one of the designers (costume designers? Set designers?) for Bladerunner (legally distinct from Blade Runner?) designed this outfit for Simon.

Bladerunner is probably a shit movie if this is what unnamed designer came up with.

I do like that Simon is just flaunting his Hollywood connections though. He wanted a new costume, he just went up to a guy who worked in movies and told him to design him one.

I hope you paid the man for his eyesore, Simon.

There’s some other bits that go in this discussion of his new costume.

Simon was letting his hair gray without much complaint. Now he’s dyeing it black again. He claims that his hair is prematurely gray because of that time he spent dead and anyway, he’s in movies now. Its an industry of vanity.

He also ditched the goggles or glasses because he’s not going to hide his eyes anymore.

Wonder Man: “I’m not Cyclops of the X-Men! The ionic energy in me isn’t dangerous! And once I decided to make that change, I figured -- why shouldn’t I look my age?”

... What IS your age though? You were the CEO of your own company before you drove it into the ground by being less good than Tony Stark and also embezzlement.

How old are you, Simon? How old are ANY of you??

Actually, my favorite part in this parade of bad taste is Tigra asking if moving the jets up to his shoulders will toast his buns.

Tigra: “But won’t the jet-flames shoot down your back and burn your, uh ---”

Wonder Man: “Not if your ‘uh’ is invulnerable!”

Fair point, fair point ipreferredthebeltjetspersonally but fair point.

Is the ass of your pants fire-proof?

I guess we’ll find out one way or another soon.

Mockingbird tells everyone to hold that thought and runs off.

Because Simon isn’t the only one that has a new costume to show off.

God. I don’t like, love, or tolerate Wonder Man’s new costume but I kinda love all these idiots just proudly showing off their fashion disasters to each other.

Anyway, Hawkeye points out that he and Mockingbird have been using the costumes they wore in New York but whoops New York climate is not L.A. climate.

So Hawkeye removed the sleeves from his costume to rock the sun’s out, guns out look.

Wonder Man: “Yes, and we’re glad you stopped there!”

Iron Man: “Just as we’re glad Tigra didn’t!”

Iron Man, please. If you make the West Coast Avengers need an HR department, you know its just going to be Hank Pym and that’s going to be awkward for everyone.

Also, I can’t prove it but I’m like 52% sure that somehow Wonder Man found out about that time Hawkeye’s costume had no pants and he’s been waiting to bust his chops about it.

Speaking of no pants,

Mockingbird’s new costume doesn’t have any pants.

Her fighting style requires the long, wide sleeves, I think. So, yeah, off go the pants.

Also, she’s letting her hair grow out a little. The never ending drama of her haircut continues.

Iron Man refuses to change his armor because this is his new iconic armor dammit. This isn’t the modern age where he can just slap on a new suit every time there’s a new run. The Silver Centurion has to last a while!

Speaking of looks, Iron Man says changing the subject, Tigra has a magical amulet that lets her look like her old human self that she never uses.

Why is that?

Tigra, looking confused at the question: “Huh!”

It’s something she hasn’t thought about lately! She’s just super comfortable in her Tigra skin.

Wonder Man asks if she’s changing her mind on which of her two souls she’s going to keep.

Tigra: “Me? Don’t be silly! But with all this glorious sun, I can’t stop with uncovering just one part of my glorious bod! Might as well be comfortable, right? Changing my mind -- ? No... I’ve made my decision...”

Good for you, Tigra?

It might be an empowering affirmation but this book is gonna be a creep about it.

Also, this creep is gonna be a creep about it.

Using mysterious superpowers to bend reflected light so you can creep from a distance is sure putting a lot of effort into being a creep, mysterious creep.

Mysterious creep is so horny that he decides “I can wait no longer! I must have her, and I must have her now! The plan begins at once!”

So, that’s going somewhere.

Back at the West Coast Avengers Compound, Mockingbird asks to speak to Tigra who agrees “just so long as we stay outdoors!”

Mockingbird reminds that Tigra asked her to help with her two-soul problem however long ago but recently she seems pretty contented sooooo....

Tigra yells at Mockingbird to get off her back about it.

Which is an interesting reaction considering Mockingbird hadn’t even gotten around to asking her question yet.

Tigra: “Everything’s okay with me, Mockingbird! The cat-people promised they’d cure me, no strings attached!”

And then she storms off.

Leaving Mockingbird suspicious that Tigra mentioned strings unprompted. Using her keen intelligence work training, she now suspects that Tigra isn’t telling them everything!

Very insightful, Bobbi.

But Tigra is sure that the Avengers may suspect that there is a string attached but they’ll never guess that she has to do a murder on Master Pandemonium.

Tigra: Not that killing a crook like Master Pandemonium is anything to be ashamed of -- he’s tried to kill us twice -- but they might not understand! They don’t share my sense of the hunt -- for prey, or for passion!

So Tigra goes to try to make out with Wonder Man.

Tigra: “Long time no petting, big man!”

Whoa!

Pretty forward!

But Wonder Man tells her that though he really enjoyed making out with her on the beach, there can be no more casual petting between them.

He thinks that he might have a chance with Christy, from the movie set. Since they’ve been working pretty closely.

And Wonder Man was under the impression that Tigra was with Hank...?

Tigra: “What about me and Hank? We’re not an item, if that’s what you mean!”

Wonder Man: “He thinks you are -- !”

Tigra: “Pfui on what he thinks! NOBODY OWNS ME!”

And she storms off again, yelling that women with glasses aren’t attractive.

It’s a matter of opinion, really.

So, Tigra finds Iron Man instead.

He wanted to relax in the sun as much as everyone else but the most he could muster is... just taking the helmet off.

I don’t remember whether Tony has a secret identity here or not. I know that Tigra knows who he is. And he was walking around with Hawkeye and Mockingbird out of costume so they could visit Fury.

Okay, so probably the team knows.

Don’t know why he’s only taking off his helmet. Because he says he wanted to duck into his personal bungalow so he could take off his helmet. Like he’s hiding his identity.

Whatever.

Anyway, Tigra tries to hit on him too.

But despite all of Tony’s light inappropriate comments during his time on this team with Tigra, he was just being friendly.

Apparently Tony is one of those people who is just always flirty.

But he still feels too guilty over dating Jan after she divorced Hank. He could never do anything with Tigra while she’s with Hank or while Hank thinks she is (because of her making out with him). Especially when Hank is still messed up over losing his robot son.

Since Tony tried to soften the blow by saying he’d be all over Tigra if Hank weren’t involved, Tigra storms off to break up with Hank.

Geez.

She finds Hank inside the main compound building talking to Joachin, apparently the manager of the grounds crew.

Huh! The West Coast Avengers have a support staff!

Anyway, Tigra basically yells ‘beat it nerd!’ and Joachin excuses himself.

Tigra doesn’t get the chance to give Hank a piece of her mind because Hank “aware of what women are thinking” Pym sees her mad face, assumes that it’s because he hasn’t been paying enough attention to her, and asks if she wants to kiss.

And she does.

Tigra: “Sure! Who could turn down a kiss...?”

Tigra, this is just kicking the problem down the road...

Anyway, IN SPACE

Near THE SUN

That Quantum dude from the cover who looks like he should fight Captain Mar-Vell pops out of the Sun and heads for Earth.

In fairness, the Earth shot first.

He’s not the only introduction.

At Horesham Nuclear Plant, alarms suddenly go off, signaling a meltdown or maybe a meltout.

Does that make any sense? No? Too bad.

The bride of Frankenstein like lady melts out of the reactor and kills the nuclear technicians with a touch as she strolls out of the plant.

As she’s on her way out, the high-voltage lines leading from the plant snap, revealing Zzzax, the man-shaped electromagnetic energy field. He was introduced in the Hulk book and has apparently died at the end of his every appearance.

Doesn’t seem to have slowed him down.

Anyway, he joins bride of Frankenstein (Halflife) and the two hike south towards Los Angeles.

Huh. Weird.

Seems like some kind of gathering of some kind of group.

But whyyyy?

Also, according to marvel wiki, this group is sometimes called Trouble, as on the cover, and that’s a stupendously stupid name.

Back at the West Coast Avengers Compound, Hank Pym briefs Hawkeye on his findings on the deed book that was mysteriously burned.

Annnd he doesn’t have a lot to report. There were heavy sulfur compounds and evidence of extremely high heat which didn’t singe the adjacent pages. So its obviously magic nonsense.

Hawkeye: “Sounds like Master Pandabear, all right!”

But Hank has some other ideas.

Since Master Pandemonium was a movie star, Wonder Man could ask around the studios to see if anyone knows anything. And Hank can pick up where Firebird left off and check with any local occult bookstores.

Business out of the way, Hawkeye asks how Hank and Tigra are doing.

Hank, a poor dolt, thinks things are going just great!

Unaware that elsewhere, Tigra is kicking herself “why do I melt any time any man wants me?”

Cat soul, probably.

Maybe you should see about having that looked at?

But she suddenly decides that she doesn’t care about self-control (which is saying no, self-control is saying that’s enough) and that when she kills Master P and gets one of her souls yanked out, she’s going to stick with being Tigra and just Tigra. Goodbye human worries and inhibitions.

And then while jumping around the trees, she comes up short and painfully bellyflops to the ground.

Tigra, if you’re still alive, I want to ask what good is a cat soul if you can’t even reliably land on your feet?

... I’m pretty sure she’s still alive.

She has so many more degrading plot points to be part of.

=|

Anyway, Quantum appears above the city yelling in an alien language and blasting out heat.

The goofy bystanders guess that what he’s yelling is probably a challenge and probably for the (West Coast) Avengers since they’re the only superhero team “this so-called town’s got!”

Oh, and Zzzax and Halflife show up too.

Unlike Quantum, they can speak.

Zzzax apparently wants to eat the electrical energy in people! That’s distressing!

The LAPD calls the (West Coast) Avengers (and gets Hank since he answers the phones) because “this is what you’re supposed to be for!” and Hank summons the (West Coast) Avengers.

Tigra doesn’t show up, due to her probably non-fatal bellyflop but Hank says there’s no time to wait for her.

Hank Pym, non-superhero: “There are three major menaces on Sunset Boulevard!”

Iron Man: “Sounds like a set-up for a punchline -- but I still don’t know L.A. well enough to know what it is!”

... Hah.

Anyway, the West Coast Avengers minus Tigra pile into the Quinjet and about seven minutes later, Iron Man and Wonder Man are jumping out of the Quinjet over Sunset Boulevard.

Wonder Man: “Every time I go into action, I get to be a real, live Wonder Man! What could be better than that?”

He punches Quantum and whoops now there’s lots of Quantum.

Wonder Man assumes that lots of Quantum won’t be strong but whoops, he made an ass out of him and him.

Iron Man: “I think that was the set-up to a punch line, Wondy!”

Wonder Man: “I know! I know!”

With Iron Man and Wonder Man dealing with excessive Quantums, Mockingbird squares up against Halflife (designated girl fight?) and Hawkeye against Zzzax.

In fairness to that last one, Hawkeye has fought and beat Zzzax before. He’s pretty sure he can beat him in no time flat just by shooting an arrow with a wire through him into a water source.

Except... Hawkeye doesn’t know where to find water in Los Angeles.

I think there’s an ocean somewhere westward. Does that help, Hawkeye?

Mockingbird similarly thinks she’ll be done with her opponent “this refugee from Frederick’s of Hollywood” pretty quickly and then she’ll come help Hawkeye find water.

Halflife: “Quiet, woman! Your raucous bravado disturbs the tranquility of -- Halflife!”

Huh, so that’s what she do.

That answers one question about this bridge of Frankenstein. But her statement here raises more questions.

Why is she getting involved in superhero fights if she doesn’t like raucous bravado and would prefer the tranquility of living in a nuclear reactor? Also, why was she living in a nuclear reactor??

(For the tranquility, probably)

Anyway. She makes people age. Probably halves their life, if I had to guess.

A Quantum knocks Wonder Man to the road and Hawkeye asks if he’ll find (and break) a water main while he’s at it.

Wonder Man rips up a water main and sprays the water all over. Hawkeye shoots a wired arrow and shorts out Zzzax just like he said he would.

Wow, Zzzax lasted no time and got to do zero things.

That’s why when villains with a super easy way to beat them come back, they’ve usually made some personal changes so that super easy way doesn’t work anymore.

Otherwise you wind up like Zzzax here.

With Zzzax there taken care of, Hawkeye runs to help Mockingbird who has aged terribly but Iron Man lands between Halflife and Mockingbird and Hawkeye, figuring he’s better suited to take her on.

Halflife: “And you think Halflife cannot speed the process of decay within you, metal man? My touch takes you halfway to your death  -- and each subsequent touch takes you half the remaining distance!”

That makes me curious whether she can age Iron Man’s armor or not but probably not but it doesn’t matter, even touching Iron Man’s armor is aging the man inside.

Iron Man still has a point that he’s better suited to fight Halflife though because he can up the power of his armor to compensate as the man inside ages.

But he’s not actually... doing anything with keeping his power up. He’s not fighting back because he’s spending all his effort adjusting the armor’s power.

So now three Avengers are tied up with Halflife which is fairly non-ideal when the other villain in the fight is a lot of guys.

Wonder Man actually realizes this. That Quantum is strong and numerous but that Halflife is taking Avengers out of the fight.

So he just swoops down and whisks her away from his three teammates.

She threatens that she’ll just age him the same she did his teammates but whoops. Can’t age energy.

Wonder Man: “I’m not flesh and blood! I’m ionic energy -- I don’t ever have to age or die -- and you can’t take me halfway to nowhere!”

And then he knocks her out in one punch. I guess she doesn’t have a lot going for her other than that aging trick.

Wonder Man: All those years of fearing death -- and all the time, I was essentially immortal!

Irony!

Anyway, there’s no ontological inertia here. As soon as Halflife was knocked out, the aging effects vanished from Mockingbird and Iron Man.

Speaking of easy victories once you figure out their deal...

Hawkeye just pulls a theory out his butt that Quantum is solar-powered and uses a smokescreen arrow to make him take a beddy-bye.

I seriously have no idea how he came to this conclusion but I guess I shouldn’t discount the archer.

Remember, he’s the scientific genius who invented anti-gravity just for fun.

With all three Troubles down for the count, Hawkey congratulates the team for good teamwork.

They did a less obvious CHANGE PLACES “and fought what would have seemed the other guys’ enemies!”

I mean. Kinda.

Wonder Man fought the girl who had been designated for the girl fight. And Hawkeye fought the flying brick enemy. But Hawkeye also took out the electrical guy which was his opponent at the start. Mockingbird got olded and then didn’t get to do anything. And Iron Man didn’t do much at all except buy time.

Geez, I keep getting the feeling that Iron Man doesn’t do a lot in this book.

Hawkeye: “We really are what I’ve always wanted us to be -- a team!”

He says as Tigra is missing.

‘Wow, we’re really clicking today for some reason!’

I joke. But its a weird thing to pat yourself on the back for when the team isn’t all there, isn’t it?

With all the back patting accomplished, Iron Man realizes something is poking his brain about the specific guys that they just fought. Poking his SCIENCE brain.

And as waves of gravity bring the team to their knees and then flat on their asses, Iron Man realizes too late what the group theme was.

THE FOUR FUNDAMENTAL FORCES!

Graviton, you giant nerd.

... And he was the one creeping on Tigra and now has her on a leash. Graviton, you consistent creep.

Now, I’m not a very science person, unlike Tony Science-Brain Stark.

But the four fundamental forces are gravity, the weak atomic force, the strong nuclear force, and electromagnetism.

I don’t think Zzzax was very magnetic but was very electric. But he’s dispersed so this group never got to be all four forces together.

Do Halflife and Quantum represent the weak and strong forces?

The weak force is responsible for particle decay and Halflife talked about decay a lot but it was more aging decay so... did Graviton just go ‘wtfe close enough’?

And the strong force is what holds an atom’s nucleus together. Does it make sense that the guy that represents it splits like an RPG slime if hit?

Science side of my audience, let me know.

The important thing though is that Graviton is back even though the last time he tangled with the West Coast Avengers, they drugged his drink and then kicked his ass.

Can’t wait for them to kick his ass again and I hope Tigra doesn’t make out with him.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because. Like and reblog too. Going minimalist this time.

[fizzingwizard]

im sorry im so sick of it, the stupid inane blazed posts are almost WORSE than the terror that is Brand Ads.

someone advertising their handmade crafts or art or even fic sure. whatever. go for it. we’ve all got to self promote, i get it. some of it is pretty shit but hey if i’ve learned one thing on the internet it’s that while it is impossible for some people to get enough attention, it is easy as pie for others to get all the attention they need and more, irrespective of actual quality. this kind of post i can live with.

but gosh tho so many of the blazed posts that show up on my dash are just inane. just absolutely mind-numbingly stupid. trying to put my finger on why it annoys me so much but i guess it’s simply a matter of i dont like things that i dont like!!! go figure!!! i follow people because i want to see their content and i am NOT happy about seeing more and more content that i dislike. its so aggravating.

lit i just got one that was a “critique” of an anime I have watched and love. it was a positive critique, but written with such a smarmy, pedantic tone that was not at ALL justified by the content of the post. it sounded like a child wrote it. and a child MAY have done. which is why I have to be an adult and not interact with it. so i kept my mouth shut, because i dont want to hurt some kid and i dont want bad internet karma and yadda yadda. but you know what it was so much easier to do that back when SHIT I HATE WASN’T SHOVED IN MY FACE. I never would have seen that post because I don’t follow people like that and neither does anyone I do follow! but now i get to see anyway! because pedantic-child-tumblr-user thinks it’s a cool idea to pay tumblr so that I’ll see their post like it or not! but if i have an opinion on that post i’m still a jerk of course because they’re not inviting discourse they just want to talk AT a captive audience! woohoo!

amazon sucks no joke buuuut fuck dude, at least amazon ads dont bother me because my eyes glaze over them and i scroll right past. but something blazed by a tumblr user, i have to stop and look at it in order to make a judgment.

no im not shelling out the money to go ad-free. i’ll have to live with ads and blaze. but im also not going to shut up whining about it either. altho i will continue to put my crap under a cut because im sure it’s as much an eyesore to some people as blazed posts are to me lol.

[kpopinesss]

[ateez] S A N ➱ baby daddy au

YOU HAVE TO RAISE HIS SON AFTER HE LEAVES. MAFIA SAN.

warnings: teen pregnancy

a/n: sorry ya’ll I accidentally posted this on my main lol - @atinybitofau

• raising a son on your own was hard.

• raising a son whose genes were on par to his notorious father was even harder—

• a hooligan. a mischievous troublemaker.

• an eyesore in morality.

• and yes, your son was just like him.

• cold. ruthless. blood thirsty.

• but unlike San, your son loved you enough never to leave you.

• appreciated the things you did for him enough to stay.

• “Eomma..”

• you turn on your side when your son interrupts your slumber,

• injuries blatant on his tethered arm.

• raising a child who’s now 13 since you were 16 never easy.

• “Where were you, Ari?”

• he sits at the edge of your bed and leans for the warmth only a mother could give. “I was trying to get your medicine.. but I ended up causing a scene and the store owner kicked me out.”

• you sigh letting him lay down beside you. “It’s just a little cold. You don’t need to go and risk your life to save mine.”

• he wants to ask you.

• he’s old enough..

• why hasn’t his father came back to be the one the take care of you?

• to take care of him.

• why do you have to suffer alone?

• “Ari, just do me a favor and take care of yourself the way you do for me.” you cuddle into your sons warmth too. “That’s all I need.”

• but you’re lying.

• you’re getting sicker.

• and he can’t take it anymore.

• he goes to lower than the low to find something to save you, his mother.

• eventually ending up tied up in San’s gang house.

• brutally beat for intervening a drug heist—

• “Alright you little shit,” San holds your son up by the collar, blood running down his face mixed with his tears. “I don’t care that you’re 13 years old. Hell you could’ve been 10 and I’ll still beat the living crap out of you. No one just comes barging into a drug heist for no reason. That’s not just a coincidence.”

• it is.

• it really is.

• and maybe god was just giving him a sign.

• because you were on the verge of dying—

• and his own son being dealt his life and in the hands of his own father,

• yet San still didn’t know what was going on.

• what sign god was trying to give him.

• “I have to admit.” San runs a finger down his son’s chiseled jaw and smirks. “You’ve got a nice face. But in a couple minutes, you might not even be able to recognize it anymore.”

• “I-I-I was just trying to get medicine for my mom! I swear.”

• San really needed to get a clue.

• not all drugs were recreational.

• and some—

• some can actually save lives not just make dirty money.

• “You think I’ll believe that sissy crap?”

• Ari shudders looking to his torn up jeans. “H-her pictures in my wallet. I swear, she’s the only thing I’ll do anything illegal for. I promise I wasn’t trying to fuck anything up. She’d kill me if I got involved. Kill herself if I pushed myself too far.”

• he’s convinced at the desperation in the poor kid’s voice.

• normally not as merciful but he digs through the kid’s pocket for the picture anyway.

• and he should be glad he did because shit—

• the picture of you made him go from 100 to 0 real quick.

• “Y/n?”

• “T-that’s her! That’s my mom.”

• San glances up at the beat up kid, horrified.

• horrified at the sight.

• that he was basically beating to death a walking replica of himself.

• an age far enough that fit the time he left you.

• “You’re telling me my high school sweetheart..” San’s bloody fingers curl around your picture. “The woman you’ve been trying to steal medication for is your mom? The woman in this picture.”

• he’s at first in denial.

• that the kid he almost beat to death was your son.

• but denial hits him even harder the chances he could also be the father.

• “M-my mom is everything to me.” Ari bawls his last tears out begging for his own father to spare his life. or anything to save yours. “She’s only got me. I’ve only got her. S-sir please. At least save her. If you wanna kill me sir, please save my mom first.”

• his jaw clenches,

• still knealt down on one knee propped in front of his pleading son.

• studying every feature of his face.

• how on par everything was to his own.

• San was beating up his son, he realized.

• holy shit he was about to kill his own son.

• “Why didn’t she tell me?”

• “W-what?” his son chokes. “What do you mean?”

• “Fucking hell— kid, I think I’m your dad.”

• the five days that your son was held captive was long enough for your body to grow cold and weaker.

• laying in a hospital bed nearly blacked out.

• your son cries over your body as you sleep.

• hoping he’s not too late.

• not too late to give you the one thing that might be able to keep you alive.

• a husband?

• finally a father to your child.

• “You’re the husband?” the doctor finds San watching from the doorway awkwardly glancing at the black dressed men who towered behind him. “You’ve got quite the entourage there, sir. But not even an army of soldiers would be able to save your wife right now. She’s hanging on a thin line. Barely holding on. That woman needs a miracle if she wants to live the next good years of her life.”

• San watches as his son that he never knew about cries over you.

• wishes you would’ve told him..

• he would’ve stayed.

• would’ve loved you.

• why were you always so selfish? always wanting to do things that pushed you too far even if there were another option available.

• “Eomma.”

• you hear everything.

• your son.

• San.

• “Ma, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get the medicine. I got into trouble again, ma. I’m sorry.” Ari folds his hand over your limp one’s. “B-but I have something even better. Someone who could help you and me. He can take care of us, ma.”

• it hurts.

• you want to wake up for your son because he deserves the world.

• he deserves a fight for the both of you but the option you chose came short.

• in the past, the option of never telling San in the first place of his own son.

• “Ma.. he’s gonna talk to you okay? I’m gonna let him talk to you.” Ari sniffles and suddenly your hand gets replaced with a different warmth. “He’s gonna tell you it’s gonna be okay. I love you, eomma. I love you. We’re gonna be okay.”

• it’s almost enough.

• your heart beats a little faster.

• burns a little more so you could breathe on your own.

• it’s definitely working.

• “You shoulda told me, bubba.”

• the nickname San had given you years ago,

• a nickname you thought you’d never hear again, rings in your ear and that light so far away,

• it gets further.

• “You shoulda told me about him. About you.” he lifts your hand against his trembling lips. “13 years? 13 years after I tell you to take care of yourself and now you’re almost dying. Come on now. My girl was a fighter. Pushed herself harder than she wanted to.”

• his voice is like a mantra—

• a dream that gives you a little bit more of life you we’re starting to lose.

• “Bubba, you were the love of my life. And I didn’t tell you enough how much I appreciated you. I know it may be too late and if god forbid I do lose you, I will make sure our baby stays safe okay?”

• you think if you were awake right now you’d be crying.

• as if a weight lifted off your shoulders.

• cause the one person who could save you right now—you and your son,

• was right here.

• ready to go merciless to keep you two safe.

• “I left loving you. And I’ll come back loving you. 13 years only kept us apart. But let me tell you, y/n, it never stopped me from loving you.”

• he’s unsure when he lets go of your hand.

• usually gets what he wants with one word—

• cause he’s a notorious mobster.

• but let’s just say you were the one thing he wanted he could’ve never gotten even with two words.

• 3?

• “I love you.” he continues. “And if I’m gonna have to love our son the way I should’ve loved you then so be it.”

• but life’s not like movies where you wake up right during a miracle.

• this miracle takes time.

• and after an EXPENSIVE deal of money and medicine to keep you alive,

• a year it takes for you to finally open your eyes.

• to a nice hospital bed room.

• filled with flowers and the reminiscent scent of old spice and San.

• your hair’s a bit longer.

• the sun’s definitely brighter.

• but not as bright as the smile you see once you turn to the side.

• “Good morning beautiful.” San reaches his forehead against yours. “How were your dreams?”

• you choke on a decent reply. “S-San?”

• “The one and only.”

• “Where’s— Where’s Ari? Where’s my—“

• “Our?” San chuckles softly. “You mean our son.”

• you kind of remember.

• it takes a while to remember the voices and the dreams in your head.

• how waking up to find them real was surreal on its own.

• “He’s at school, bubba.” San cradles your face in the palm of his hand staring at you like he was hypnotized. “I’ll have someone pick him up. Tell him mommy’s awake.”

• “San..” you shake your head in his hand. “How is this real?”

• “Our son might be a miracle worker. Brought us together the way we made him. Brought me so I could keep you alive.”

• cheesy as you remember.

• although this handsome and older version of your old flame you aren’t too sure.

• “So you just show up while I’m in a coma and play daddy while I sleep?” you hoarsely chuckle while he smiles against your lips. “Even after 13 years, you won’t grudge against me for not telling you?”

• “I can’t blame you for trying to save yourselves.” he admits with his lips still on yours. “I wasn’t good enough for you. I know still I’m not. But I’m gonna try this time. Even if I have to pretend I’m not who I am sometimes.”

• you two are interrupted by a crying teenager.

• one you remembered resembled San.

• but now them standing right next to each other,

• looking like two carbon copies and a surreal dream in your head.

• maybe you are dead...

• “Ma!” he shoves his father away abruptly. “Look ma! I brought dad! He helped pay your debt, pays for my school. Even finished the hospital bills.”

• you glare at your always boisterous ex boyfriend and long lost father to your son.

• “You did what?”

• “Did I mention this was my way of getting back at you for not telling me about my 14 year old son?”

• “San how the hell am I gonna pay you back?”

• you just woke up.

• and the doctor runs in ready to sedate to keep you stable for at least more than 24 hours.

• but the way San looks at you is enough.

• him being there like your life long medication itself.

• holding your hand while your son holds your other one proposing,

• “Marry me. And we can call it even.”

@atinybitofau

[obaewankenope]

What sharks make for the best possible stuffed animal models?

Oh goodness!! Aaaah stuffed plushie shark!

I have one, a Mako shark from the Blue Planet Acquarium which I love. It lives in my room, usually next to my pillow when I sleep, and it's hilarious to wake up to because it's just AAAAAAAH with its mouth next to my face with its embroidered cat-like eyes. I love it!

I called him Greg, by the way.

Buuuut. I guess it depends on the kind of shark plushie you'd want.

If you want one with lots of colour on it, I'd guess a carpet shark of some type. 70s rugs were an eyesore for a reason but I'd guess it'd be cute on a toy... maybe. The Wobbegong shark, which I mention here, has some excellent camouflage that literally looks like someone just made a rug from their grandparents into a shark. Poor thing.

[image source: wikipedia]

But if you want one that looks all RAWR you might consider a Hammerhead or Tiger Shark.

[hammerhead shark, image source: men's journal]

[tiger shark, image source: bbc]

You can always go with a Great White looking all Durrr Dun.... Durr Dun... Durr Dun Durr Dun Durr Durr Durr Durr DUURRRRHNGDGIUHDGUGHDFDHFDHD-

AH MAH LEG.

[image source: livescience]

Ahem.

But honestly, I'm completely biased because if you want a cute looking shark plushie, I have to recommend the Catshark. Lesser (now called the Smaller) Spotted Catsharks are adorable as hell. They don't have big ol' teef to scare you, they have a soft nubby nose not a triangle to end you with, and honestly have adorable expressions.

They also have personalities. Like seriously. They have personalities that scientists have actively observed.

So yeah. I guess the answer is Catshark lol.

[image source: wildlifetrust]

[aizawaskittenwhore]

𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐭

pairing: cartel!shota aizawa x fem!reader

words: 2.4k

warnings: swearing, this will be a cartel!au, so mentions of c*ke and distribution...yeah lol, suggestive content towards the end of the chapter (vague description of a bj), angst, cheating, aizawa just ain’t shit in this story LMFAOOO

a/n: this is the third fucking time i’ve tried to post this so if it doesn’t work i’m gonna cry. but I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS ONE and i can’t wait for you all to see what i’ve got planned. so uh...strap yourselves in it’s about to get crazy. sorry ms joke </3

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞: 𝐂𝐨𝐜𝐚’ 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬

The salty, warm breeze from the ocean whipped its way through Shota’s onyx locks, tossing them around with a gentle force. Miami was gorgeous from the water, skyscrapers alight with the buzzing energy of the city, streets crawling with good food and even better looking women. Gorgeous full lips wrapped around martini glasses, criminally short dresses clinging to any skin it was given. He didn’t care much for the nightlife, opting to observe the partygoers from a distance.

He wasn’t here to socialize.

He was here to work.

His wrists draped over the edge of the rail that separated him and the water, a small portion of his weight against the cool metal. When Hizashi suggested that he get a yacht he nearly spat out his whiskey, face contorted in an expression of annoyance and disdain. Shota didn’t understand why someone would need such a flashy boat, it was merely a watercraft meant for travel and or fishing. This wasn’t the 1400’s where one’s worth was tied to the size of a man’s ship. Just another glorified pissing contest for rich people with too much money, and not enough couple’s therapy in the world that could keep them home for days at a time.

It’s not as if he was in any position to judge though, his pinky coming to rest just below the silver band that rarely inhabited his ring finger these days. He doesn’t entirely know what possessed him to wear it, whether it be the ever-crushing guilt from lying to his wife, or the text he’d received from Emi this morning that read:

“Make sure to bring me back a mojito! Don’t work yourself too hard, and remember how much I love you!💕”

If only she knew that these tri-monthly “Inter-Departmental Hero Conferences” were just fronts for selling a literal boat-load of cocaine.

Turns out, yachts were really good for that.

In the span of just five years, superhuman society was nearing it’s peak. Upon the graduation of all the students in the 1-A Hero Course, and Izuku Midoriya’s induction as the new Symbol of Peace; the world began to see an astronomical shift. Crime rates were the lowest they’d ever been, with Japan and the States sitting at 2 and 4.5 percent, respectively. Newly minted Pro Heroes roamed the streets, bringing security to those who needed it and striking fear into the hearts of those who were on the wrong side of the law.

But this utopia came at a price. With the sudden influx of fresh and talented pros, crime decreased exponentially, leaving little villain-based work for Heroes to get paid for. Hostage situations and evacuation efforts took backseat to helping older women across the street and assisting young children with their schoolwork. Soon enough, peace became a burden for those whose careers surrounded chaos.

Aizawa was no exception to this dilemma. Once Midoriya and his classmates graduated and obtained their Hero Licenses, he’d ended his tenure as an instructor at UA. He felt that he’d done his civic duty as a teacher and a Pro, and produced some of the finest Heroes the world would come to see. So he began to settle down. Surprisingly, he’d begun to tolerate Joke’s incessant laughter and boisterous personality, and soon fell in love with the eccentric woman. Between patrols and giving advice to aspiring Heroes at the community center, he and Emi explored all the the world had to offer; swapping out steel-toed combat boots for soft plush flip flops against hot sand. After three years he’d proposed, much to Emi’s delight (and Ashido’s upon hearing that Mr. Aizawa could actually tolerate another human being). The ceremony was small, and intimate. Shinsou serving as the ring bearer, and Eri as the flower girl. Mic even shed a few tears during the toast, though he’ll deny it if Kayama ever brings it up.

For a while, things were good. Life was good. Emi was glowing with the energy of a new life blossoming inside her, and Shota fantasized about meeting his little girl, counting all of her dainty fingers and toes, and doting on her for all to see.

Or at least it was, before agencies began to close. Paychecks got smaller and smaller. Heroes were struggling to find work and their pockets began to struggle along with them. With Emi on maternity leave, and Hero society coming to a standstill, things were looking grim. He needed to provide for his family, his wife, his children.

He needed a plan, and fast.

Luckily, Hizashi always did have good standing with everyone’s favorite Bird Boy. So he called in a few favors.

“Just for a couple months man! We stir up a little bit of noise, make a couple ripples and bam! Crime rate’s back up, and we get back to makin’ money. It’s temporary. Nobody will ever know, I’ll make sure of it. I got you.” Hizashi pleaded, an arm slung across Aizawa’s shoulders as he pensively gazed into his glass of amber liquid. He’d done some vigilante work here and there in his twenties but this....this was outright criminal. But what choice did he have?

Just a few months, he’d said. If only it’d worked out that way.

“I was getting worried you wouldn’t show, Eraser!” Zhu thundered, hands clapping joyously at the other man’s timeliness. “That’s some boat you got there, let me guess...the wife’s idea?” He queried, eyebrows waggling emphatically as Aizawa descended from the metal ladder and onto the wooden pier; eyes rolling into the back of his head at Zhu’s...excitable personality. The two had known each other for about two years or so, having gotten acquainted over the course of Shota’s many trips between Japan and the States, and sometimes South America. Zhu Kanaka was a man of the lower ranks, opting to use his easygoing disposition to negotiate deals for Takami “Lord of The Skies” Keigo, better known as Hawks. Standing at a solid 6 foot 4, with thick black locks that spiked into a point reminiscent of an onion, thick bushy brows and a set jaw, you’d think he wouldn’t hesitate to punt anyone like a football.

At least until he opened his mouth.

“As it turns out, Emi hates the damn thing. Makes her seasick. Hizashi talked me into getting the fuckin’ eyesore.” He intoned. His left hand palmed his slacks for the emergency pack of cigarettes he kept in his back pocket for when he was stressed during a deal, although he never really needed them anymore after Eri said she wanted him to quit. He still held on to them though, just in case. “The hell you waiting for? You know the deal man. Let’s see it.” He muttered, silently willing for Zhu to get on with it so he could get in a bed. Three and a half hours on a goddamned boat (that you didn’t even want to begin with) will do that to you.

“Someone looks like he needs a nap. Alright, I got ya. Count it, make sure it’s all there. I had Thing 1 and Thing 2 back there pack it, so you might wanna double check.” Zhu quipped, jerking a thumb towards the two young men currently engaged in a heated game of Rock, Paper, Scissors; the pair of them flushing upon receiving one of Aizawa’s infamous stares. Two thick black duffles were handed to his two bodyguards, the men immediately unzipping and checking the stacks, a mental tally steadily climbing higher and higher as they sifted through the cash.

“He’s good. Four hundred thousand in each bag. It’s all there, Eraser.” Sato affirmed, Toru nodding alongside the man. “Good. Go ahead and call Jamie, tell him to bring the car around. Zhu, I’ll send Sato and Toru to help your men unload our shipment. It’s a hefty one, so you’ll need the assistance.” Shota offered, shoulders visibly relaxing at the thought of getting some alone time in an empty hotel room.

“Yeah that’d be great, thanks! How long you in town for?”

“Until about 3pm tomorrow. I’ll be on my flight back to Kyushu then.” He states, right arm extending to clasp the other man’s hand in a firm grip. “You’re goin to that meeting the Big Man’s holding in a few days right?” Zhu queries. “Unfortunately, yes. Gonna miss my little girl’s first doctor’s appointment for this shit.”

“No way! She had the baby?!?!? Congratulations man! How’s it feel?” Zhu exclaims, eyes alight with joy for his friend’s new addition to the family. “Feels good. She had a smooth pregnancy, everything worked out fine. Hana’s beautiful, and healthy. I couldn’t be more proud.” Shota brags slightly, heart swelling at the thought of his little girl and how proud he was to know he’d helped in making someone so...ethereal. “Wow. Raising another kid, you flying out all the damn time, along with whatever else you got goin on?? No wonder you look like shit.”

Red eyes and floating hair caused Zhu to immediately retract his former statement.

“Aw I’m just joshin’ Eraser! But I hear ya. It’s a lotta’ sacrifices that go into this, but they’re who we do it for. All of it. Ya know?” Zhu amends, eyes shimmering with the reflection of the city lights off of the water.

Did he even know who... or what he was doing this for anymore?

Shota found himself asking that question more and more often as of late.

“...Right.”

“Anyway, you’re probably spent, so I’ll leave you to it. It was good seeing you man, send Emi my love!” Zhu shouted as he slowly walked towards the men unloading his boat. “Likewise. Tell Macie and the kids I said hello.” Aizawa responded dryly, body screaming for some kind of relief from this exhaustion.

“Will do! Oh, by the way! You might wanna bring some cooler clothes and sunscreen with your pale ass, I hear Guadalajara’s pretty sunny around this time of year! See you in a few days man!” The male laughed, throwing him a wave as he slowly disappeared into the darkness of the port. Massaging the bridge of his nose in irritation, Aizawa nodded in acknowledgement as Jamie pulled up alongside him; his hand reaching for the handle and dragging his siphoned body into the backseat.

Jamie could sense his employer’s weary expression, and didn’t make any attempts at conversation, merely opting to start making his way to the hotel while smooth jazz floated through the car. Forehead against the door of the towncar, Shota typed out a quick message to his wife:

“Alcohol is the last thing you need sweetheart, and I love you too. Got another meeting in a few days, mandatory. I’ll in be in Mexico, so I’ll miss Hana’s appointment. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to the two of you.”

Sent.

The message sat for a few seconds before Emi read and typed out a response:

“Aw, bummer! </3 Dont worry, work is much more important right now. I’ll be sure to take lots of pictures!”

“You don’t have to make it up to us, you caring is enough. Get some sleep old man, me and the girls love you. xoxo, Wifey 😘 ”

He didn’t deserve her.

He didn’t deserve any of them.

This he knew. And yet, it didn’t stop him from responding to the unknown number that texted his phone every time he happened to be in town.

“Same time and place? Desperately in the mood to play....My toys just aren’t as good as yours, Eraser. ;)”

His heart sank. A beat passes. Then two.

Calloused thumbs move fluidly across the screen. He’s done this far too many times.

“Be there in 10. You know the routine.”

And in retrospect...he would’ve been way better off just blowing off Guadalajara and going to Hana’s appointment.

Because while he wrapped her slick ponytail around his hand, as a head that wasn’t his wife’s dipped between his legs, he didn’t think this would be his last moment of peace. Shoved down the throat of a woman who’s name he had long forgotten, settling for calling her whatever pet name he felt like adorning her with, her hands clawing at the soft and sleek cotton of his trousers.

Aizawa never anticipated that this would be the last time he would be in a room without immediate reinforcements, and be content.

The last time someone he didn’t trust with his life knew his location, and he wasn’t terrified.

The last moments of peace in his world before it all went to hell.

Temecula, California;

1:36am

The office floor was barren. Dark, coffee stained carpet congealed with the bacteria of old and new; giving it a sad beige color from the creamy foam-like white it was when the building was built. Cubicles cluttered with miscellaneous paperwork from separate departments, all of it raining down from desk to desk like a fresh layer of snow on the first day of winter. Tired, weary hands typed at a computer with precision and accuracy, the warm glow from the screen illuminating the buttons on her blouse as she plowed through each document. Her body raged for a moment of rest, but she couldn’t give in. Not when so much was at stake, not when so much needed to be done in so little time.

After a few minutes, and approximately twelve sips of bittersweet lukewarm coffee, the fingers came to a halt. A sigh of relief was freed from her body as she pushed the enter button on the dusty, tan keyboard and began to pack up for the night. Since the computers were set on an activity timer, there was no need for her to physically shut it down. After 30 seconds of no visible movement, the screen flashed a message declaring that the activity would be suspended within the next 2 minutes if no motion was detected. Content with her work, she slung her work bag over her shoulder, and trudged towards the elevator, mentally clocking out for the night.

As the elevator slowly carried its passenger down, the computer continued its countdown before discontinuing its power, leaving the following words for nobody but its future recipient to read:

Drug Enforcement Agency Operative Travel Request:

Agent: L/N, F/N

Current Operation: Potential formation of a rising cartel under the leadership and or affiliation of Pro Heroes Hawks, Endeavor, and Eraserhead. Agent has been undercover for eight months and twenty-seven days.

Investigation Status: Active

Location of Travel: Guadalajara, Mexico

Reason for Request: Possible gathering of multiple Hero-Run plazas to discuss further movement. Will gather more intel and gain trust of suspects involved/acquire more resources for investigation.

Travel Request Status: Accepted.

[firemblem-fics]

Smitten Kitten [4]

one | two | three | four | finale

-> Pairing: Felix x Female!Reader | Hybrid!AU (mostly platonic idk)

-> Word Count: 1.2k

-> Genre: Mostly Angst

-> Warnings: HUGE TW - this chapter contains scenes of animal/human abuse. Do not read this chapter if you are easily triggered by these themes. Also cursing

-> Summary: You never wanted to be involved with hybrids. They were risky and had too many rules for you. But what will you do when a little black and white cat that you take in turns out to be the very thing you steered clear of?

-> A/N: I do apologize for this chapter being short and violent and whatever. It’s kind of just a filler chapter because I would like to have the resolution as a chapter itself lol

Hell.

Life without Felix was practically Hell.

In the two months that Felix had lived with you, you had become completely used to having another body in your house. Without him, it was extremely lonely. You often believed that you could revel in the quietness of your apartment, needing nobody but yourself to keep you company.

How wrong you were.

The silence was practically unbearable now. Even if Felix wasn't the most talkative of the bunch, simply having a roommate was enough for you. You learned to never take things for granted- especially someone like Felix.

The tuxedo cat hybrid messaged you as much as he could, compiling stories of activities that Doug and Karen made him partake in. They spanned from 14 hour work days practicing for different Hybrid Shows (Karen was quite the fanatic for Fodlan's Finest Pets) to up to three days locked in his room because he was rude to them.

The days where he had to hide his phone and refrain from messaging you were the worst. Like today.

You paced around Ashe's living room, practically burning a path into his rug as you trudged for hours, checking your phone in case.

"Y/N, I'm begging you. Sit the hell down."

This was the third time Ashe tried to ask you to sit. Your nervousness was definitely affecting everyone else, as seen by Sylvain, whose tail hadn't wagged during the entire hour that you were over.

"I can't Ashe, what if I get distracted and he messages and needs me? If it's an emergency-"

"Please, dear God, he's been gone for a week and a half. He's a big boy, too. Definitely capable of taking care of himself."

"But did you see him when they left! How he looked? It- it was awful. Sad. Whatever they did to Felix isn't just something to brush off. He didn't even try to argue with them- Felix always argues!" You spat. You felt a little bad for being so angry, but this was your friend, goddamnit.

Suddenly, your phone screen lit up and a notification sound rang through the apartment. You practically launched the phone out of your hands with how quickly you lifted it up, checking your messages.

"He sent a video."

"What does it say?"

"There's no other message. Just the video."

The screen was black. Your fingers shook as you pressed the play button. The first thing you heard was Karen's voice, the shrill soprano of her tone nearly breaking your eardrums.

"Felix, this is the third time today. Get the fuck out of the bathroom."

The camera then showed a bathroom and shakily pointed to the door, where the knob was wiggling violently.

"Fuck off!" Felix exclaimed just as loudly. Your heart lurched at the sound of his voice. He sounded okay.

"Felix, I'm not doing this anymore. Come out before I have to force my way in."

The camera flipped, now showing Felix. You gasped.

His hair was down from its usual ponytail, the strands framing his face messily. He always wore a frown, but this one seemed to etch deeper into his face. The real eyesore of it all was... well, the literal eye sore.

A giant bruise was blossoming beneath his eye, spreading down quite a ways away from the eye itself and onto his prominent cheekbone. He didn't seem to fret over it, of course, but you certainly were.

"If you're not doing this anymore, I should just go back to Y/N's-"

"Don't you EVER talk about her again, do you hear me Felix Hugo?" The door rattled again. "She's not getting you back. You belong to us and it's about time you act like it."

Felix rolled his eyes. "Really now? We'll see about that soon." He murmured. He stood up and turned the camera back towards the door, slowly walking up to it and unlocking it.

As he finally began to open the door himself, it swung open with the force of at least a hundred Karens. The video got a good view of her face before she noticed, screamed at him to turn it off, and lifted her hand. A loud smack resounded through the speakers before you saw the phone clatter to the floor and the recording shut off.

You finally looked up at Ashe, who was already looking at you. "Do you think this is evidence enough to get him back?"

He looked even more troubled than you, glancing over to Sylvain. You couldn't imagine how Sylvain may be feeling at the moment- he came from a similar situation, except with breeding instead of pageants.

"It's got her face in it and Felix has a visible wound. I think it's good."

You nodded and grabbed your bag, wordlessly leaving to Madame's. Ashe and Sylvain scurried behind you, not that you noticed. You were too focused on getting your Felix back.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

"We'll see about that soon."

You turned away from your phone at the next part, not wanting to rewatch your beloved hybrid get hit.

Nancy held onto your phone, watching the screen rather intently for someone who didn't give two shits about Felix. Ashe held his hand on the small of your back, giving it a few comforting rubs to calm your nerves. Finally, the video ended and she handed you back your phone.

"I just wanted to show you this and the other messages and videos as evidence that Felix is being abused by his owners. I know you hate him but he deserves a good life and-"

Nancy held up a hand. "Felix is the biggest asshole I have ever met. I may not like him, but animal abuse is still abuse."

"He's not an animal."

"Hybrids are animals, sweetie. Get over it." She smacked her gum and picked up a phone. "I'm going to call them down to the facility and while we wait, you are going to show Hybrid Protection Services those videos. They will deal with the rest and hopefully by tomorrow you will have complete custody over Felix."

You could only smile at Nancy. Yeah, she was a wack-ass bitch, but at least she was helping you. You just prayed that you would never see her again after this all was over.

After a few minutes, two HPS officers came through the front doors of the Facility, making a small bell ring to signal their entrance. Nancy kindly tells the officers of the situation and twirls her hair, batting her eyelashes at one man you could only describe as long, tan, and handsome. Too bad that wasn't your type.

Your type was average height, pale, red eyes, asshole- wait. No. They were talking to you. Oh, they wanted to see the phone. Oopsies.

Once more, you distracted yourself by picking at the sleeves of your sweater to avoid listening to the videos again. The HPS officers nodded and stepped off to the side with your phone and a notepad, figuring out what to do.

Soon, the bell rang once more and you turned your head, finally making eye contact with those red eyes that you'd been longing to see for weeks.

[collisiondiscourse]

YOUR NEW ART PIECE IS MWAH. CHEFS KISS

Also for the question: do you have a specific method for choosing your colors?? I’m rlly bad at picking colors that work well with one another 😔

!!! HI AUSSIE MWAH I LOVE U N KISSA U ON THE CHEEK

i dont really have a specific method per se on choosing my colors? except i tend to stay on the warmer parts of the color spectrum!! i use a LOT of subtle gradients and overlay layers on all of my art, and i tend to stick to complementary colors for lighting!! (specifically yellow and purple)

now, just a reminder that i am FULLY self-taught with the exception of some online tutorial videos, so take my words with a grain of salt since im not a professional :D coloring guide under the cut !

the thing with coloring things digitally is that you rarely ever actually stick with the colors you first put down! its important to keep note that the best thing about digital coloring is that nothing is ever uneditable and you can always adjust the hue, saturation, and brightness of any layer. (for reference, i use FireAlpaca to do art :3 )

now, if youre familiar with my art, my drawings tend to be on the more vibrant colored side! i like colorful and light looking drawings for the most part and all my lighting/shading tends to be either very soft or colored.

one thing i almost NEVER do is shade with direct black.

Now, why is this so? Black is the color of shadows in real life anyway, and its much easier to just shade everything with black and fiddle with the opacity! by all means, black as shading makes the most logical sense.

But the reason i don’t shade things in black or even just move the color of the flat towards the darker end of the spectrum is because the tendency of the shading is that it ends up looking very... dirty. and grimy. and i dont really like that/have the ability to pull it off. so what i do is i use color theory (or, well, a butchered version of it.)

now, before we get into that--on the point of black shading looking grimy & dirty, im certain that there are some styles that can pull it off (like julia lepetit, a drawfee host and a content creator i absolutely adore!). but it really all depends on what kind of mood you want your drawing to evoke. If youre like me and use coloring to express the emotions of a piece and like very eye catching coloring methods, then its important to know that RGB SUCKS.

(For me at least.)

using rgb as your coloring reference tends to create a lot darker or muddier pieces which can be nice depending on your target/intention, but for the most part is terribly annoying. The solution to this (again, which works for me but not everyone) is that i choose to color with CMYK aka Cyan, Magenta, Yellow, Black. THIS is the color model i work with when coloring my flats.

Now theres a whole explanation for why CMYK and RGB are different and why CMYK appears better digitally and for printing things, but im a stem student and im tired as hell of hearing about waves and optics so yall can google that if youd like.

But basically! Yes. I use CMYK in most circumstances to make sense of coloring. Going further from there however, the way i choose what colors to shade/highlight with has everything to do with contrast and color theory. The common understanding i have is that yellow tends to be more adjacent to light while purple is closer to shadows.

NOW.

the basic system i have for coloring goes like this:

if the flats are warm, the shading and the highlighting is cooler. if the flats are cool, the shading and the highlighting is warmer.

for example: (flat color - shading - highlighting)

orange/skin tone - purple - yellow

green - blue - pink

yellow - orange - light blue

THEN i go a little more complex with midtones and what not in order to blend colors!! like with skin for example, i shade it with purple and ease the transition with red midtones. sometimes for fun i add some (subtle) cooler shades for a more painter-like effect.

Colors tend to reflect off of one another too, so i add soft gradients and airbrush very subtle colors unto different components. When im drawing a person for example, i airbrush some of the skintone very lightly unto the hair that frames the face to bring the piece together a little bit more!!

for final touches, i add things like yellow to purple gradients, the side of the light source being where the yellow begins. I also love fiddling with layer settings and setting things to overlay etc. because it unites all the colors a little bit more. I try to also adjust the colored layers to have less contrast between them so that its less of a rainbow eyesore lol

hope this answers a lot of questions!! if anyone wants a more detailed explanation ig, you can always hit up my kofi ;)