#its kind of an eyesore LOL

[0nlyhere4phil]

as it fucking should be.

[throathole]

As much as I loooove furniture and I love trying to find things secondhand. Furniture shopping in 2024 just kind of sucks lol everything sold by big furniture stores is a major aesthetic eyesore slapped together from shitty particle board that looks tailor-made for live laugh love-esque suburban families… and if you want something beautiful and well made the vintage/antique resellers have already scooped it up and increased the price by 1000 dollars because they put “mid century modern” in the listing. Your best bet is to just cross your fingers and hope you stumble across something good on Facebook marketplace, which is its own unique circle of hell

[maybevillage]

tell us your shippy wol thoughts! are there any other characters you like to see her with or just haurchefant? and which characters does your wol really hate?

://D i ship a lot of chars with my wol (meade) and i wanted to draw a silly chart for fun at some point so now is as good a time as any ?? although in retrospect this thing is kind of an eyesore omfg

ok im going to ramble now (spoilers for the chars on the chart)

wol x haurchefant to me is the plot relevant fates intertwine through-thick-and-thin partners in crime power of love and yet something beyond it relationship to me... i don't think about it a lot recently bc it makes me emo but they're like exceedingly similar in my mind (and both freaks) so they get along like two matching puzzle pieces. and they're like endgame to me. like i'm reincarnating and i hope to see you in our next life endgame to me. reading each other's minds and enjoying each other's company *cry*

wol x erenville is also endgame to me but a lot more casual i like that erenville is so normal lol in my mind he's the one who has to MATCH MEADE'S FREAK HAHAHAHaha haha hahahaha. in my slowly unraveling wolverse she spends a lot of time in sharlayan trying to ingratiate herself to him and he knows why but is just largely unconcerned about it for a long time bc idk my headcanon is that vieras culturally or w/e are not all that concerned with monogamous relationships and stuff. idk. i need a ffxiv blog

wol x fray is like...unlike haurchefant where i'm raising him from the dead i think learning fray was dead the whole time and you're kind of...idk dragging them along with you for your own purposes in some strange way (i need someone smarter than me to give me their thoughts on the drk quest one of these days bc how it plays out is actually pretty nebulous/confused in my mind) really solidified the relationship to me like its endlessly fascinating. i wont say a lot bc there's a comic i want to draw but meade is like obsessed with them, basically. like an idol-like fascination with a person you "meet" post-death but it's weird (like how idolising a person might be desecrating in a way) of her to feel this way so she would rather die than breathe a word of this to sid or rielle or anyone. would've been endgame bc fray's sort of demanding and goading personality is perfeeecttt but them being dead just adds something too interesting to pretend it didn't happen. whatever its my world i dont think too hard about the logic

wol x emet-selch is like ajajfjajugfgafjajdfjagjfjgjfgjfhjajgj. you understand. not-romance but also not-not-romance. they'll never really understand each other. also meade doesn't think too deeply?? there's a lot of mental jumps in this to me bc she's kind of a moron and he's like obviously really focused on things she will never really empathise with or think so much about. what is it called when A wants B as his monstrous avatar of destruction bc idk what else will sympathise with him and b could have a casual relationship w/ a rock bc she's sillayyyyy

meade used to have a crush on thancred around arr (the quest where you dress up in disguises in camp drybone really stuck out to me) but it cooled off bc it didn't seem necessary to pursue and also thancred is just so. idk he's just so funny to me. and he's married to urianger now i think. now him and wol are like jokingly rivals but not really. compete against each other for fun

with y'shtola it's like that one person you'll have a crush on for the rest of your pathetic life. like that "in your dreams" person. she remembers every moment y'shtola has thrown her a bone with utmost clarity and has only dreamed about being her lapdog like five times. she just doesn't think anything would work out bc y'shtola can be kind of stuffy. also unlike thancred y'shtola definitely knows. now the two of them are like the closest scions to her imo (aside from the twins ofc. and free graha)

and that's it......kind of............................................................there's actually a lot of chars i wish i could mold into wolship but i think they just don't fit what i have going on with meade so sometimes i entertain being crazy enough to make entirely new wols. i like aymeric, estinien, urianger, cirina and hermes too but they just don't really work with meade in a way i like and i cant bother force it when i have my hands seriously full alreayd

like i specifically enjoy aymeric being in unrequited love with wol forever. like he'll be in his grave before that ever gets realised and that's partially why he didn't want to govern a whole nation but maybe (a small part) of why he did is so that he could continue to meet up with wol. idk i also like them being bestieees. or mutually in love. i like a lot of things. i love aymeric

estinien and urianger are like too particular to me like in my mind they require something delicate romantically (in different ways) and i think meade is just too heavy-handed. also these two are gay asf to me like not even bi or whatevs just gay as hell. these two and cirina and hermes are like too specific to me or something idk i'm overthinking it for sure but it's like i'd have to make wols entirely dedicated to shipping with them bc of their highly specific environments/contexts to get the dynamic i want or something. i like estinien/aymeric, urianger/thancred and sadu/cirina though LOL maybe that's why????? like meade can't give any of them what they want and there's something else going on i find more interesting. and i barely know what hermes wants (half joking). i like him though. i will rotate him in my mind more once i finish ew. i think i just ship him w myself tbh

ok moving on.... if i really had to say i think the only chars she really hates are like the fucking ul'dahns who are soooooo obsessed with money and hurt people to get more of it and are just so stuck in keeping ul'dah the same oh my gawddddd. like lolorito, teledji adeledji and dewlala like THEY ALL PISS ME OFF SOOOO BAD WHAT IS WITH THE CONSERVATIVE LALAFELLS ITS SO RANDOM and i think i could see my wol just hating them. i think for similar reasons she dislikes a lot of the sharlayans. i like to make chars who aren't particularly cerebral probs bc i overthink so much grr so she isn't concerned at all with bureaucracy or not getting to the point, as in doesn't even understand why ppl speak around things. so i think snake-like nobility and non-intervention policy is smth that would just bother her. also that idk gold saucer guy nanamo talks to in post-stormblood about helping the refugees and he's like "there's no point trying to help them without thinking of how to turn a profit" or wahtever he said like i think meade would harm him.

oh and i think she just doesn't like hien like finds him disconcerting for unknown reasons. i hope its obvious that im just projecting my own feelings onto who she doesnt like bc i cant help but find that man weird. and the sharlayan forum i find annoying

maybe surprising but i don't think she'd hate zenos or anything but thats bc nothing he does to me registers as canon in the game............... he's just not in the game to me... i think i blank out when he shows up like i don't even hate him i just wish he was doing something else somewhere else like no more of him please. i think in canon he just confuses her like she's not sure how he's reached the point he has. but tbh all the imperialism stuff is just not really in the game to me

[jimmyandthegiraffes]

Fic Writing Review 2023 🌈

Thank you sm @itwoodbeprefect for the tag!!!

I hardly published anything this year so if u wanna skip to 'projects for 2024' that's gonna be the most interesting bit >.<

Words and Fics (on ao3) 📚

words posted: 714 💀 but many more words were written, just not posted lol fics posted: 1 first fic/last fic 😅: King of the Eyesores - Doctor Who (1963)

Ships and Fandoms ⚓

Doctor Who - no ships really but KotE is Mike Yates-centric.

Top 5 Fics by Kudos 🏆

It's KotE again lol which is at 6 kudos. Of all time, tho:

After the Hour(glass) - Night at the Museum (Jedtavius)

Less Than Ideal Circumstances - The Man from UNCLE (TV) (Napollya)

When They Sleep - The Man from UNCLE (TV)

Dismiss Your Fears - Back to the Future

After All, I'm Only Sleeping - Doctor Who (1963)

Top 5 Favorite Fics 💖

KotE......... I do actually rly enjoy KotE I think it has potential in terms of where it's going. But since I only posted one fic in 2023, I'll do my top 5 of fics I've ever posted. Apart from the first one this is in no particular order

tickertape - The A-Team (TV) it's my baby it's all I thought about for months of my life, it's like an iceberg (i.e. most of it is in my WIP doc, and only a tiny fraction is published so far), it got me thru a difficult time, it's an exploration of mental illness and complicated messy relationships expressed in epic format (i.e. it's probably gonna be novel length when it's done)

Bullet Number Six - Starsky & Hutch (TV) it received criticism for being obscure and hard to follow bc it switches pov briefly halfway thru but idc i love it anyway

I Gotta Right to Sing the Blues - The A-Team (TV) it was my first A-Team fic and I still think for a beginner it nailed some p realistic in-character dialogue and addressed an undertone I wished I'd seen addressed in the ep it's a coda to.

When They Sleep - The Man from UNCLE (TV) it's kind of riddled with certain mannerisms of my slightly older writing which I personally find a bit annoying and have worked to iron out for the sake of elegance over the years. but I still think it's a cool little exploration of all my sleep headcanons for the pair of them in one place

King of the Eyesores - Doctor Who (1963) see it made it to the list after all! I kinda like it more for its potential than for what it is right now butttttt who cares.

special mention to Unbereft (Starsky & Hutch) which I really really like but I wrote it in one frenzied sitting and only remembered after I'd posted it that it was very like someone else's fic I'd read several years previously. I don't think it's too much like to be taken down and I've since mentioned the writer of the other fic (it was dawnwind, hello!) in the notes. that's the only reason unbereft isn't in my top 5 because I'm otherwise really proud of how well it's written. Not to tootle on my own trumpet.

Fandom fic events

none RIP but maybe this year!!

Projects for 2024

Okay here we goooooooooooo

priority 1 is to finish the unfinished works that I've already half posted: King of the Eyesores, Every Line A Comedy, OUTATIME, The Windhover, tickertape, The Hanoi Bank Job and Other Misadventures, 38 Hours. Bolded are my top priorities.

other works that I'm writing but which haven't seen the light of day at all yet:

Dear Mike - an epistolary between Jo Grant and Mike Yates following her marriage to Cliff Jones.

The Lark/Behind That Locked Door (working titles) - a 30-chapter 2/Jamie fic about season 6B in which Jamie suffers permanent memory problems after the War Games. It explores grief, social ostracism, feeling abandoned, undirected anger, guilt, and acceptance that healing sometimes is a process that is never complete. I've been working on it since about 2016 lol but I'm lazy I just need to press on.

hell valley au - as yet untitled lol. In which the Hell Valley!Marty (who is never seen in BTTF2 as he is in Switzerland) and Hell Valley!Doc (who has been institutionalized) break out of their respective situations and go on the run together. But there's a problem - they had to leave Einstein behind, and when they get information that Einie is to be used for a dogfight, they make the risky decision to go back to Hill Valley to rescue him. However, going back to the place they just escaped by the skin of their teeth also brings them face to face with the last person they expect to meet.

a changed man (working title) - a Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased) fic from Jeannie's pov. mostly it's about their picnic excursions but it's also about Jeannie wishing Marty wasn't such an elephant in the room

mfu/rahd xover (untitled) - the first chapter of this is almost ready to go tbh. it's what it says on the tin lol, Napoleon and Illya go to London and get help from a rather eccentric private detective who has uncanny powers of solving impossible cases but also they think is probably clinically insane

to see him happy - VERY weird rahd fic. it's smut but its also about grief. might never post it because several of my family members have access to my tumblr and therefore my ao3 lol they dont need to see that

the winter of '62 - a study of jeff and marty's life when they lived together in a grotty bedsit and couldnt afford to put the heating on

star wars (untitled) - set during ROTJ, han pov. han's lost a lot of time and now everyone is one step ahead of him which isn't a sensation he's used to

skyrissian - what it says on the tin lol

the older gen (untitled) - jeeves fic about bertie's aunts and uncles and parents as they were as they variously grew up, got married, had children, died (or didn't), fell prey to alcoholism or insanity or petty crime, went to war, prospered (or didn't)... This is pretty unlikely to be finished this year tbh as it's very detailed but I can dream

a couple of long form fics about starsky & hutch and mfu respectively (the s&h one is set post sweet revenge, the mfu one takes place at various moments throughout the show)

x-files series - canon compliant until paperclip and then gradually diverges into how i think the show should have gone lol. another biggie

and a handful of tintin fics that im protective of and might never post but we'll see - one where tintin and chang go on holiday in london after picaros, one where the gang encounters rajaijah one last time (featuring a letter from didi, chang making a very daring crossing at the songolese border, and tintin taking about ten years to chop up a clove of garlic), and one where tintin gets shitfaced at an embassy ball and accidentally starts an Incident. haddock looks on, appalled.

i knoooooooooooooooowww this is a lot but i'm not realistically hoping to finish it all this year but it's nice to have lots of things to play around with lol.

unfortunately i have the eternal problem of not ever knowing which of my mutuals write fic and which of those havent already been tagged but imma tag @theteaisaddictive and genuinely if u see this and u write fic ur tagged i want to knowwwwwwwwwwwww <333

[inks-and-octos]

(HAIIII from @commanders-quarters hope u don’t mind me interacting! i saw u reblog my rp role call post! ^_^ i have not done any sort of nsfw rp with anyone in soooo long but BELIEVE IT OR NOT!!!!! my iteration of tartar is freaky asf he’s just on the down-low abt it……… anyways i picked aria to pester cuz it seemed like she’d have the most interesting potential for interactions with this fellow sadist LOL)

The sunlight basking the Octoling’s skin was blotted out by an unexpected presence. Of all the threats she hoped to encounter on the battlefield, a towering 18-foot robot was likely not one of them.

Its neck creaks downwards as it sets its face in her direction.

“I already consider Turf Wars to be an eyesore, but you are very eye-catching. That is no compliment.” he drones, gauging her expression, wondering if that boldness from her earlier battles will persist even now.

“For an Octoling, you are BEYOND unruly! Why, the way you parade around, laughing in the cowering faces of your adversaries, playing with them like a cat to a mouse- it’s just shameful!”

With a sudden lurch of one of his large metal arms, he snags Aria by the back of her clothing and hoists her up to be at face level with him. A streak of teal ink spreads across its steel visage, resembling a smile of mockery.

“I have never seen an Octoling behave so carelessly. Don’t you know you are not the one who stands atop the food chain?!” the AI asks with a hint of menace in its synthetic voice.

(I don't mind at all.)

Aria didn't really struggle when she was grabbed. Even if she did, it wasn't going to do her any good. "I enjoy freaking others out during a match, no big deal. At least I'm not like some that take Turf Wars way too seriously and treat them like actual battles. Kind of why most of us Octolings traveled to Inkopolis, we got tired of trying to restart that dumb war we lost."

She'd look into the robot's face, smirking as she crossed her arms. "And yeah, I know I'm not at the top. Don't got the stomach to actually kill someone. Not even those Salmonids."

[gontagokuhara]

OMG THAT LAST CHAPTER AAAAA my boys 🥹 if you hadn't said it on here, I would've never known you struggled w/writing Kokichi, it seriously feels so natural and I LOVE when authors include that clowny jester vibe to him!! But now that we're REALLY REALLY into the thicc of the story, I'm realizing how much I miss the camp!! idk about everyone else, but it was always the most interesting setting for me when I was into Percy Jackson! So basically I'm gonna annoy you with my barrage of questions that are 100% unrelated to the most recent chapter 😭

I know it was mentioned that Maki's cabin was undecorated for a long time, but did she ever get to personalizing it? I'd love to know about the cabins and their designs! I'd also love to know what kind of stuff they do at the talent shows? Idk if its the fact that the fic is based off the pjo musical, but I get theatre kid vibes from specifically kaede (even if she can't sing LOL) Speaking of her, since it was mentioned that she could play any instrument, I'm wondering if there were instruments /canon-specifically-talent-related equipment at camp for everyone? Also some of the dialogue had me questioning if they're even allowed to curse at camp or not 😭

HIIIIII im finally getting to this <3 first of all i love you im kissing u on the forehead every time i get an ask or comment from u it makes my whole day.

answers to ur questions beneath the cut as always!!

i also miss camp </3 i was talking about this with someone else yday (hiiiii evan) but in a universe where pointy objects reaches its end and i STILL want more.....there are little one-off scenes that dont fit into the main narrative of the fic but i'd still theoretically like to write......and the immediate reaction to the campers (+ hajime and nagito) realizing seven of them went missing along with an rv. it would be a lot of dialogue but the phone calls nagito had to make to all the parents of the missing (good and bad) kids. also the godly meetings where shit went bad, and then really bad, and then somehow even worse. pointy objects has always been very v3-centric given our main characters, but some of my favorite chapters so far have been when i've been able to feel out characters from the other games as well.

ok. THAT was a big tangent LMFAO ok re: maki: yes! it took a long time; she had very little interest in doing decoration shopping or really Anything in the first year or so after arriving at camp/her friend's death (she also did not see her situation as static or permanent — no point in something like that, y'know?). for her 14th birthday, kaede took the reins on planning with nagito a cabin design that she thought maki might like; and now presently, her cabin has a "red velvet" theme! DIY headboard for her bed made with literal red velvet that kaede and maki built themselves, plush red sheets, red walls (another eyesore of a cabin...), with a small collection of photos and trinkets and artwork and decorations she's amassed over the years since. she has a picture of her parents sitting in the bottom drawer of her dresser than only kaede knows about.

as for the others — i take a lot of inspiration from their research labs, but i haven't plotted out in my head exactly how they all look, y'know? miu's is definitely very lab-like, angie's paints her walls white at the beginning of every summer and over the summer months fills them corner to corner with new designs, kiyo's has more bookshelves than wall space, the like.

now: talent shows! it's very informal, with prizes like choosing the next camp-wide game, getting out of dinner duty for a week, etc. classic staples include himiko's magic shows (with tenko as a willing and eager assistant) (who also will at times retrieve less willing participants from the audience) (usually nagito). miu tries her own "magic tricks" that usually involve adding new features to kiibo and making them parade them around onstage; kiibo gets their comeuppance by forcing miu to learn kpop dance choreo and perform with them (as kokichi films, naturally). kaede can play instruments to get around the limitations of her power (also yes — 100% theater kid, alongside kiyo [+ kokichi, who wont admit it]), and there's a whole collection of instruments in the girls' common area that she's mastered/is working on learning (her most recent is a theremin that she and kiyo are both very interested in). it's a lot of repeats, because there are some kids who always prefer to chill in the audience rather than get onstage themselves, but everyone has lots of fun <3 (except nagito [usually made to suffer during them] and hajime [often tasked with tie-breaking the winner, also suffering])

as for ur last question: TRUST they are definitely allowed to swear. hajime would've exploded years ago if that wasn't the case. the barrier they erected following tsumugi's massacre is capable of a lot of things, but nothing can defeat the resigned frustration of wrangling a clusterfuck of the weirdest demigods they've ever dealt with (/fond)

WOW that got long again! good thing i love it <3

[negative-speedforce]

Ricki challenges your OCs to wear the Discowing costume!

who pulls it off? who hates it? lol

Would wear it without question: Jay, Ember, Arya, Kyle, Jacob, Antonio, Reggie, Cory, Pippa, Liah, Reyna, Matt, Vanessa, Dolores, Dori, Ellis

Would wear it if they had incentive (monetary or otherwise): Siv, Gina, Esme, Cat, Max, Meredith, Hyun-Ki, Qiara, Athena

Wouldn't under any circumstance: Hailey, Cassandra, Eric, Khalil, Ameerah, Rania, Director Hawke, Kelsie, Torryn, Onnie, Jessi, Marie, Soraya, Thalia, Laila, Pyrrha, Aldrich, Samira, Sohelia, Victorie, Kayla

Siv: Would wear it in exchange for money, but not otherwise. She would probably look pretty stupid in it and take it off as soon as possible.

Jay: Would think it was unironically awesome and probably try to take it home because he liked it.

Gina: Would wear it in exchange for A VERY SUBSTANTIAL amount of money, since insulin is expensive and her brother needs it to survive. She'd hate every second of it though.

Esme: Would wear it for the lols, would probably look pretty stupid but the social media clout would be worth it.

Arya: Would wear the suit and shapeshift into Nightwing just to cause problems and blame them on him.

Ember: Would actually manage to slay SO HARD in it, because it's so campy it'd look so good paired with a long wig and stiletto heels. They lipsync to "Call Me Maybe" at her club and make a bunch of money.

Cat: Would wear it in exchange for money, even though it's humiliating she's a total homebody so no one's going to see it anyway.

Kyle: Would unironically have fun wearing it even though he looked stupid, because Kyle still has a sense of joyous whimsy.

Max: Would wear it in exchange for money, intel, or parts for his mech suits, and then proceed to pair it with a cape because apparently to him it makes him look like Megamind.

Jacob: Would wear it to make his kids laugh and to bring back memories of the 70s

Antonio: Would think it was the funniest shit and would wear it to school to make his friends laugh

Reggie: Would wear it to make xer friends laugh, wouldn't actually like it that much in real life but it would be too funny of an opportunity to pass up

Cory: Would unironically be able to style it (sorry Ricki it might come back altered and covered in clips, frills, buttons, and glitter)

Meredith: Would wear it in exchange for intel or technology that could help her achieve its goals, and would stay the whole time in Flashtime because she's so humiliated and she doesn't want anyone to see it like that.

Pippa: Has a terrible time setting boundaries with people, so she'd wear it even though she didn't really like it, just because it's hard for her to say 'no' to people.

Hyun-Ki: Would wear it onstage because it's campy enough to pass as some kind of costume

Liah: It isn't really her style, but she has trouble saying no to people so she'd just do what Ricki asked even if it wasn't really her thing.

Qiara: Would wear it for the LOLs, just to annoy Captain Al-Sharif because it's kinda an eyesore.

Athena: Would wear it in exchange for money, since that's Athena's favorite thing. Fair warning, it will probably come back altered and at least 3 times sluttier, and Ricki might end up almost getting vivisected.

Reyna: Would unironically think it's the shit, hopefully Ricki doesn't mind it coming back with holes in the fingers and toes, since Reyna's of a felid species and has very sharp claws.

Matt: SLAYS. He slays so hard it's a 9.9 motherquake on the serving scale. Somehow, he makes it look good.

Dolores: Has trouble saying 'no' to people, so she'd probably agree even though she didn't necessarily want to.

Vanessa: Would be too busy gay panicking to realize what Ricki said because Nessa is a useless lesbian, and didn't realize what she's getting herself into. She'd make the most of it though.

Dori: Would shapeshift into Nightwing while wearing that and take down HYDRA with the intel that they know, that way the remnants of HYDRA wouldn't be able to go after them or their family, since a completely different vigilante attacked them, right?

Ellis: Doesn't understand humanity enough to get that it's not that fashionable, they've only been out of heaven for a little while and humans still confuse them, so they wear it thinking it's the height of style.

[less-than-three-3]

played metroid prime just like everyone else on the planet, apparently

it was ok (for a metroid game) (that means it is still pretty damn good)

But I can’t lie, given the reputation this game has, I was somewhat disappointed. For transparency, I did play it m+kb on my microsoft wii, though if I had shelled out the price for the remaster I doubt my experience would have been much different lol. Explanation below, with spoilers?

I’ll start with what it does well though, and that’s being Super Metroid but in 3d. In terms of exploration, how the world is presented, how you progress, etc. was translated to 3d pretty perfectly. Having pretty much no guidance and a full map, but still having one or maybe two actual correct ways that, if you just keep going forward or think about what you’ve seen before, you can find really easily. Honestly, in many ways, it just kinda feels like a really really big zelda dungeon. Or maybe zelda is a mini metroidvania. You decide! You can really see the bones of this game in so many modern metroidvanias. There’s not even really things you need to shoot a million times because of scan visor! 

And yeah, the scan visor is really cool. Being able to just scan to find out how to approach enemies, or how (or when) to get past obstacles, or learn stuff about the world is pretty neato. The other visors, though, were... ok, I guess. They aren’t interesting to use or anything, just *necessary to see certain enemies*, which I guess is fine just not nearly as interesting as scan visor. (They are also sort of an eyesore, and I imagine the remaster does improve on that)

Speaking of needing a thing to beat certain enemies, I just really hate the space pirates and drones and metroids that have a certain element that they can be hit by. This might just be some bias but I feel like they just take way too long to kill compared to their 2d counterparts, and being forced to use, say, ice beam (which shoots slow as hell) is just a slog. It kinda leads into my first major gripe, being that the combat feels like it takes a little too much of a spotlight for how... admittedly boring it can be. And this is with m+kb controls making aiming a lot better. I don’t really know if it’s actually just later enemies having too much health but the shooting doesn’t feel *that* fun or fluid, like in the 2d games, or out of the way, like in ori 1. Like if it was just a minor thing you just don’t have to think about I wouldn’t complain, but since fights take so long I can’t help but just be a little underwhelmed. 

It is definitely exacerbated by my second gripe, which is just that enemies, and especially bosses, are not that interesting? Like they have 1 or 2 attack patterns that you can recognize and dodge, and then you have your turn and you shoot them in the weak spot or with the weak element, rinse and repeat for however long. I think I can give it a little bit of a pass for how old the game is, but I just didn’t really feel that engaged by the bosses. Maybe that’s just a boss design thing and not the combat? I don’t know. Something in there just felt underwhelming.

One last thing to complain about, I promise, but I felt pretty much the entire last “act” was kind of... eh? I didn’t really care for the artifact hunt, it felt a little annoying (especially having to go through the space pirate research base again...). And then the back to back to back of Meta Ridley, Metroid Prime, then Metroid Prime again just really made a point of showing me the totally awesome boss fight design. Especially the final Metroid Prime form which I thought would be like Dark Beast Ganon like oh cool I super zap it to deal a ton of damage.... and then it dealt like maybe 1/10 of its health bar. And then it started summoning more metroids, some of which were the annoying ones. So it was just a really really... fun.... “I have my turn (for a full minute) and then you have yours (for 10 seconds)”. And to then top it all off, I don’t even get an evacuation sequence?? :/

This one’s a more minor, personal issue, and that’s just that I really don’t care to read so much lore. Environmental storytelling and worldbuilding, and ambient mood setting are things that I think Super Metroid perfected and nothing has really met, and that’s something I still believe even having played Prime. If you want to deliver story beats/developments/realizations in a game like this, you show don’t tell. I’m not delivering like a crazy revelation here, any writer knows this lol. But like, for example, to show that, say, the space pirates experimentations of phazon with metroids, instead of a bunch of space pirate data logs to read, there could have been like, idk, some metroid encounters or you see a metroid escape that looks unstable and oozing with phazon. And the chozo artifacts could definitely have been better tied to the phazon stuff too. It’s why I’ve always really enjoyed Fusion and Dread, even if they are departures from the way things are presented in Super, because they actually commit to narrative telling. Maybe I’m off base here, idk, but I just really wish there were less lore tablets and more intuitive things or like even straight up character interactions to show me what’s going on. I hope Silksong improves on that, but I doubt it. Wait what game are we talking about again?

Ok but enough negativity, I really enjoyed everything up to then. Like I said the actual metroidvania parts of it were really excellent. As good as Super Metroid? Not quite, but I do consider that pretty much peak metroidvania performance, so that’s a very high bar. It emulates it super well, and I was definitely really enjoying the full loop of unlocking and going further into the planet. The music too, was really good -- but again Super Metroid’s soundtrack is simply a masterpiece that I think even the 3DS and Switch’s adaptations/remasters of the same tracks don’t hit the same. 

All in all I think that’s pretty much a really good way to put it. It adapts Super Metroid’s strengths very well, but not quite to the extent of it, and some things do just get lost in the transition to 2D and 3D, I guess. It’s different from Fusion and Dread because those games are unabashedly more straightforward experiences, while still maintaining pretty much all the Metroid backbone and blood. It’s trying the same thing, but in a different form. I can respect it, but it’s definitely not my favorite. Which is a high bar! For reference I still end up rating this game pretty much a 9/10 - which may seem odd given all I’ve said, but I think for the most part this really hits the mark, and Metroid has just a really super good backbone, there’s just some.. growing pains? idk. I’ll definitely play the rest of the trilogy. I did see Dark Samus escape from metroid prime so... I think the next 2 games will definitely up the ante. Or maybe they won’t. We’ll see.

[fizzingwizard]

im sorry im so sick of it, the stupid inane blazed posts are almost WORSE than the terror that is Brand Ads.

someone advertising their handmade crafts or art or even fic sure. whatever. go for it. we’ve all got to self promote, i get it. some of it is pretty shit but hey if i’ve learned one thing on the internet it’s that while it is impossible for some people to get enough attention, it is easy as pie for others to get all the attention they need and more, irrespective of actual quality. this kind of post i can live with.

but gosh tho so many of the blazed posts that show up on my dash are just inane. just absolutely mind-numbingly stupid. trying to put my finger on why it annoys me so much but i guess it’s simply a matter of i dont like things that i dont like!!! go figure!!! i follow people because i want to see their content and i am NOT happy about seeing more and more content that i dislike. its so aggravating.

lit i just got one that was a “critique” of an anime I have watched and love. it was a positive critique, but written with such a smarmy, pedantic tone that was not at ALL justified by the content of the post. it sounded like a child wrote it. and a child MAY have done. which is why I have to be an adult and not interact with it. so i kept my mouth shut, because i dont want to hurt some kid and i dont want bad internet karma and yadda yadda. but you know what it was so much easier to do that back when SHIT I HATE WASN’T SHOVED IN MY FACE. I never would have seen that post because I don’t follow people like that and neither does anyone I do follow! but now i get to see anyway! because pedantic-child-tumblr-user thinks it’s a cool idea to pay tumblr so that I’ll see their post like it or not! but if i have an opinion on that post i’m still a jerk of course because they’re not inviting discourse they just want to talk AT a captive audience! woohoo!

amazon sucks no joke buuuut fuck dude, at least amazon ads dont bother me because my eyes glaze over them and i scroll right past. but something blazed by a tumblr user, i have to stop and look at it in order to make a judgment.

no im not shelling out the money to go ad-free. i’ll have to live with ads and blaze. but im also not going to shut up whining about it either. altho i will continue to put my crap under a cut because im sure it’s as much an eyesore to some people as blazed posts are to me lol.

[chiconon]

I cannot do anything. But I can't just stand by and do nothing! gift for @akumafuwafuwa 𖥔 ˑ ִ ֗ ִ ۫ ˑ

[djmayday]

edgy sona edgy sona yea yea yea y

[jinxhallows]

Method Writing (Lucifer x Fem!Reader Explicit One Shot)

-x-x-x-x-x-

HAHAHAHA I wrote this on a whim after exchanging some DM’s with the incomparable @scarlettriot​ (if you haven't checked out her Red Riot shit its incredible!) so shout out to you for the idea queen LOL. Dis just a lil snackie yall aint nothing too crazy LOL as far as I’m concerned in my head this is as subby as im gon get from daddy LUC lmao

-------

ᴍᴇᴛʜᴏᴅ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ (ʟᴜᴄɪꜰᴇʀ x ꜰᴇᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ)

ᴄᴡ: ꜱᴍᴜᴛ, ꜰᴇᴍ!ᴅᴏᴍ, ʜᴜᴍɪʟɪᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱQᴜɪɴᴛ ʟᴏʟ, ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴀʟ ᴅᴇᴍᴏɴ ᴛʀᴀɴꜱꜰᴏʀᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴ

ʟᴇɴɢᴛʜ: ᴏɴᴇ-ꜱʜᴏᴛ

ᴡᴏʀᴅꜱ: ✩⋆  🎀  𝟤.𝟣k  🎀  ⋆✩

-----------------

You sigh in frustration as you lean back in your computer chair, staring hard at the few lines of text you had written.

“Hit another wall?” Lucifer asks, peering over his glasses from across the room where he sat, reading a tattered old book.

“Yes.” You frown, adjusting the display settings on the screen.  Maybe if you made the page black and the text a soft peach color, it would help shock your vision enough to reset your creative juices into flowing again.

Lucifer sets his book into his lap and takes off his glasses.  “What’s causing it this time?”

“I just…” You’re frowned up at the screen, trying to click around and make unnecessary adjustments.  “I’m not used to this kind of sexual dynamic.  When I write, its sounding too...fifty shades of grey-ish.” You settle on a brown page with an orange text instead.

But now you’re bothered by the font style.

As if anyone reading the manuscript would give a shit! You were supposed to use 12 point Times New Roman on the final copy anyway!  Damn it.  You were beginning to overthink and it was affecting the entire writing process that you used to enjoy.

“Isn’t that book wildly popular amongst human suburban wives? I’d perhaps argue it should sound like that if you intend for people to have an interest in purchasing it.”

You drag your hands down your face, pausing over your mouth, carefully trying to choose your next wording.  

“I’m not just doing this for money.  I’m trying to become a better writer, love.” You add the term of endearment at the end of your sentence, trying to sound less annoyed than you actually were.

“You are a marvelous writer, Y/N.  Your thought pattern is girded at the moment, no doubt; but that doesn’t negate the quality of your penmanship.” Lucifer stands up, gently placing his book on the small table next to him as he crosses the room to hover over your shoulder, looking at your screen.

“What a dreadful eyesore, why have you edited the screen like this?” His arm crosses over you to stabilize himself as he leans in front of you, clicking around on the screen to return it to normal.

“Because I was trying to inspire myself, Luc, wait—” You reach underneath him and place your hand over his on the mouse.  He glances down over his shoulder at you.  “Maybe you could help me?”

“That’s why I’m fixing the screen.”

“No, you have to let me write it Lucifer.” You use a stern tone, “You could write this entire book in minutes, I want to be able to do it myself.  I need you to help me in a different way…”

He stands up and raises a brow, “This is an erotic novel.  Do you want me to fuck you?”

You’re briefly taken aback when he drops out of his tightly constructed pattern of speech to say a brazen phrase like ‘Do you want me to fuck you’.

“How do I explain this…I need you to be…submissive for me.”  Your eyes darken, “Allow me to dominate you.  Just a little bit, so I can get a feel for it.”

“My sweetheart, I would love to help you, but submission is not a part of my framework.” He chuckles, “I would have no idea where to start.”

“Exactly.  You wouldn’t start, I would.” You lean back in the chair, folding your arms across your chest as you challenge him.  “I have no idea how to be dominant but if we try together, maybe we can figure it out.  At the very least, it’ll give me a break from all this.” You tilt your head at the screen.

Lucifer runs his thumb over his lower lip, considering your proposition.  “Let’s say I agree to this arrangement, for tonight only...” his eyes meet yours, “You never breathe a word of this to anyone.”

You bite back your shit-eating grin.  “I promise.”

“I’m very serious my love…” He’s towering over you, placing both his hands on the arms of your chair, leaning you back as his scarlet eyes burn through you. HIs lips ghost your cheek and rest right next to your ear and you nearly shiver as he whispers,

“If I hear that anyone knows about this, I will devour you.” he pulls back to look you in your eyes once more.

“Am I understood?”

Wide-eyed, you give a slow nod.  His gaze flits over your face for a moment before he’s satisfied and stands back up.  

“Alright then,” he starts to pull his shirt over his head,  “What would you like for me to do for you?”

You watch him, your thoughts racing and your adrenaline causing you to get a little too excited about this experiment.  Suddenly, this powerful man was going to be at your mercy.  Well, Lucifer wasn’t someone who would go down willingly of course.  All the better, you had to work for it.

Talk about method writing.

You arch your foot, dragging your painted toes up his leg until you were over his groin.  You never take your eyes off of his as you press the sole of your foot slowly into him, taking the time to feel the outline of his cock through his silk pajama pants.

“First thing I need you to do is get on your knees.” You push in a little harder, feeling the slow firmness in his building erection.  “I’m not going to be looking up at my pet.”

His stare remains intense as he slowly drops down onto one knee, followed by the other.  “Like this?” He asks, now at eye level with you.

“Much better.” You praise and reach out to push a few stray wavy black locks behind his ear, “Good boy.” You study his expression and although he remains stolid, his fair skin betrays him as the redness rises in his cheeks.  He claims he doesn’t know what to do, but he listened well; and he was enjoying it to some small degree.  You stand up and push the chair away, beginning to circle around him, contemplating what you were going to do.

Damn it, he was so much better at this than you were.  He seemed to take command of you quickly and confidently, and here you were, overthinking again.

Still, it was turning you on to see him on his knees like this, waiting for your next move.  You suddenly have a strange idea, so you stop directly in front of him and he looks up at you from the ground.

“Release your horns for me.”

Lucifer silently obeys, two curled black rigid horns merging and curling from atop his scalp.  His hooded gaze makes you intoxicated with power and arousal.  It’s like he’s still the one in control, and is only allowing you the brief fantasy of believing you’re the one in charge.

This kind of irritates you, as you want him to fully submit to you.  You curl your fingers around his right horn and give it a tug, “Come.” You command.  He’s down on his hands and knees, crawling across the hard wooden floor as you guide him with your tight grip over to the bar cart.  You let go of him and he’s now staring at the floor.

Good.

Maybe he’s beginning to learn some humility.

His obedience is making you want to just sit on his cock already, but you want to truly focus on the feeling of being dominant more than just the act of intercourse.  You two knew how to fuck, that much was very clear; but you didn’t understand how this dynamic worked.  So you extended the slow burn just how you liked.

You sit upon his back, knowing the limits of his strength.  Of course, he doesn’t waver, and you grab a glass and pour yourself up some of his aged scotch.  You take a sip of it before spattering it back out.

“This is disgusting.” You look down at him and dump the remaining expensive scotch over his head without a thought.  

At first you gasp.

You went too far.

That was mean.

But he shakes his head to clear the liquid from his hair; reminding you of some kind of....goat-dog hybrid, what with his horns exposed and everything.  You notice his hands curling into fists on the ground but he doesn’t look up.  It makes you smile.  Good thing he can’t see that.

“What a good boy you’re being for me Lucifer.  Do you want me to reward you for your behavior?” You run your hands over his head several times, peeling back the wet, soaked locks from sticking to his brow and temple.

He exhales through his nostrils.  “Yes.” He mutters.  You can tell he wants to say so much more.

“Aht aht.” You give a tight yank of his horn, “Yes, what?”

He swallows, “Yes...M...” he’s struggling to say it.  You yank again, harder, forcing his head back at a painfully unnatural angle.

“You better not make this fucking difficult Lucifer, I can get real fucking nasty with you and you’re pissing me off.”

“Yes Mistress.” He finally mumbles, nearly inaudibly.

You stand up and walk in front of him, kneeling down and grasping his chin with your hand as you force him to look you in the face.  “I don’t think you understand what it means to be submissive, Lucifer.  You are not in control right now, I am. So all this useless pride can go in the garbage. I am your Mistress and you will address me as such or I’m going to fuck—you—up–” You squeeze his face tightly, digging your nails into his skin as your teeth clench together; before you finally let go.

You shake your hand from the pain of squeezing.  The deep, reddened nail marks you’ve imprinted into his skin begin to slowly fade as he watches you with an angry glower but doesn’t dare to object.

“Massage my hand you fucking worthless demon.”

“Yes, Mistress.”

You place your hand out and he sits up onto his knees again, taking your hand in his own and running his fingers over your skin, kneading into the muscle.  It feels so good, you almost forget the intention you had behind him doing it for you.

“That’s enough.” You snatch you hand away, “Good boy.” You look him up and down before your tone eases by a hair.  “I don’t want to have to be mean and nasty to you Lucifer, but please understand that your ego will be checked accordingly.  Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes Mistress. Crystal.” He replies tersely.

“I’m not a fan of that tone; but we can work on it...” You begin to undo your robe, the satin fabric falling around your body as you sit in his reading chair, your leg hanging over the arm.  His eyes scan over your naked body hungrily.

“You should allow me to clean you up.”  The lust building in his loins was getting overwhelmingly frenetic; but if there was one thing that Lucifer was going to do, it was maintain his composure.  He cleared his throat before asking again, more appropriately,

“Mistress, may I please clean you up?”

Your eyes lit up, “My sweet handsome pet, of course you may.”  You watch as he crawls over to you and obediently makes quick work of the wet arousal you’ve leaked over your thighs from the start.  Your flavor dances over his tongue as he swipes your inner thigh, over your folds, and slowly spreads them apart his lips closing over your pulsing bundle of nerves.  He’s sucking and licking and you are coming undone with how good it feels.

“Oh god that feels so good–” Your head falls back against the chair as the breathy words tumble from your lips.  He stops so abruptly, your head darts up again to look down at his beautiful face between your legs.

“Ah, there’s my pretty Mistress.  I just wanted to see your face.” He kisses your mound, “I love watching it twist up, when I make you feel this good.” His warm tongue flattens over your slit before slipping in between and caressing your clit. You struggle to keep your eyes on him, feeling your chest huffing with your quickened, irregular breathing pattern.  He drops you off the edge of a splintering orgasm that makes your back arch out of the chair, hand tangling in the hair between his horns, your grip tight as you ride out your release with a few bucks of your hips.  You come down with a pleasant sigh, relaxing into the chair.

“I think I have enough now…for the scene at least...” You giggle softly.

Lucifer stands up, and you are at eye level with the prominent stiffness in the front of his pants.  He then leans down to you with a malevolent smile.  

“Oh but we’ve only just begun.” He places his fingers under your chin, tilting your head up.  “This was a fun little game; but now you’ve made me so hard, it hurts. You wasted a very expensive glass of scotch being such a little brat.” He uses his thumb to pull down your lip, pressing the tip into your bottom teeth, hard.  You stare up at him, hooked onto his every word.

“I’m going to have to punish you for that.”  His voice becomes impossibly quieter, almost a demonic whisper, “You’ll have to forgive me, Mistress, but I’m going to fuck you until you can’t walk tomorrow.”

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: West Coast Avengers #12: THE ATTRACTION BETWEEN TWO BODIES!

September, 1986

Zzzax!

Quantum!

Halflife!

TROUBLE!

Oh ho, ah ha! I see we’re still doing random super goons for the West Coast Avengers to fight.

I won’t lie, I kinda like it.

Considering the meta plot is ‘Tigra needs to kill Master Pandemonium so the cat king will make her less horny,’ this string of random tricky goobers for the team to fight is entertaining. The wheels sure are spinning on the meta plot but we’ve got some good, dumb fights. It feels like a throwback to the simpler storytelling of the silver age Avengers.

Meanwhile, Stern’s Avengers is killing it on the more serialized style.

I know Zzzax as ‘when an electricity guy is needed but Electro is busy’ but the other two are new to me. Although Quantum looks like he should fight Captain Mar-Vell. He has the look of the kind of guy Mar-Vell would punch.

Halflife is clearly a bride of Frankenstein.

So let’s get into it.

Last times in West Coast Avengers: The Thing almost joined the team but then didn’t. The team fought Griffin and Headlok. Then, Mockingbird and co went to visit Nick Fury so she could give her sympathies for the poor, maligned intelligence community which was even then being compromised as hell. Then the team fought Shockwave, Zaran the Weapons Master, and Razorfist. And now, this:

I take back every nice thing I’ve ever said about Simon Williams.

That costume is an abomination.

The fact that the rest of the team repeatedly reassure him that it’s a great change proves that the West Coast Avengers have no taste whatsoever.

Shame on all of you.

Shame.

This isn’t a situation where I’m going to go ‘lol jk’ under the fold.

That costume bad.

Apparently one of the designers (costume designers? Set designers?) for Bladerunner (legally distinct from Blade Runner?) designed this outfit for Simon.

Bladerunner is probably a shit movie if this is what unnamed designer came up with.

I do like that Simon is just flaunting his Hollywood connections though. He wanted a new costume, he just went up to a guy who worked in movies and told him to design him one.

I hope you paid the man for his eyesore, Simon.

There’s some other bits that go in this discussion of his new costume.

Simon was letting his hair gray without much complaint. Now he’s dyeing it black again. He claims that his hair is prematurely gray because of that time he spent dead and anyway, he’s in movies now. Its an industry of vanity.

He also ditched the goggles or glasses because he’s not going to hide his eyes anymore.

Wonder Man: “I’m not Cyclops of the X-Men! The ionic energy in me isn’t dangerous! And once I decided to make that change, I figured -- why shouldn’t I look my age?”

... What IS your age though? You were the CEO of your own company before you drove it into the ground by being less good than Tony Stark and also embezzlement.

How old are you, Simon? How old are ANY of you??

Actually, my favorite part in this parade of bad taste is Tigra asking if moving the jets up to his shoulders will toast his buns.

Tigra: “But won’t the jet-flames shoot down your back and burn your, uh ---”

Wonder Man: “Not if your ‘uh’ is invulnerable!”

Fair point, fair point ipreferredthebeltjetspersonally but fair point.

Is the ass of your pants fire-proof?

I guess we’ll find out one way or another soon.

Mockingbird tells everyone to hold that thought and runs off.

Because Simon isn’t the only one that has a new costume to show off.

God. I don’t like, love, or tolerate Wonder Man’s new costume but I kinda love all these idiots just proudly showing off their fashion disasters to each other.

Anyway, Hawkeye points out that he and Mockingbird have been using the costumes they wore in New York but whoops New York climate is not L.A. climate.

So Hawkeye removed the sleeves from his costume to rock the sun’s out, guns out look.

Wonder Man: “Yes, and we’re glad you stopped there!”

Iron Man: “Just as we’re glad Tigra didn’t!”

Iron Man, please. If you make the West Coast Avengers need an HR department, you know its just going to be Hank Pym and that’s going to be awkward for everyone.

Also, I can’t prove it but I’m like 52% sure that somehow Wonder Man found out about that time Hawkeye’s costume had no pants and he’s been waiting to bust his chops about it.

Speaking of no pants,

Mockingbird’s new costume doesn’t have any pants.

Her fighting style requires the long, wide sleeves, I think. So, yeah, off go the pants.

Also, she’s letting her hair grow out a little. The never ending drama of her haircut continues.

Iron Man refuses to change his armor because this is his new iconic armor dammit. This isn’t the modern age where he can just slap on a new suit every time there’s a new run. The Silver Centurion has to last a while!

Speaking of looks, Iron Man says changing the subject, Tigra has a magical amulet that lets her look like her old human self that she never uses.

Why is that?

Tigra, looking confused at the question: “Huh!”

It’s something she hasn’t thought about lately! She’s just super comfortable in her Tigra skin.

Wonder Man asks if she’s changing her mind on which of her two souls she’s going to keep.

Tigra: “Me? Don’t be silly! But with all this glorious sun, I can’t stop with uncovering just one part of my glorious bod! Might as well be comfortable, right? Changing my mind -- ? No... I’ve made my decision...”

Good for you, Tigra?

It might be an empowering affirmation but this book is gonna be a creep about it.

Also, this creep is gonna be a creep about it.

Using mysterious superpowers to bend reflected light so you can creep from a distance is sure putting a lot of effort into being a creep, mysterious creep.

Mysterious creep is so horny that he decides “I can wait no longer! I must have her, and I must have her now! The plan begins at once!”

So, that’s going somewhere.

Back at the West Coast Avengers Compound, Mockingbird asks to speak to Tigra who agrees “just so long as we stay outdoors!”

Mockingbird reminds that Tigra asked her to help with her two-soul problem however long ago but recently she seems pretty contented sooooo....

Tigra yells at Mockingbird to get off her back about it.

Which is an interesting reaction considering Mockingbird hadn’t even gotten around to asking her question yet.

Tigra: “Everything’s okay with me, Mockingbird! The cat-people promised they’d cure me, no strings attached!”

And then she storms off.

Leaving Mockingbird suspicious that Tigra mentioned strings unprompted. Using her keen intelligence work training, she now suspects that Tigra isn’t telling them everything!

Very insightful, Bobbi.

But Tigra is sure that the Avengers may suspect that there is a string attached but they’ll never guess that she has to do a murder on Master Pandemonium.

Tigra: Not that killing a crook like Master Pandemonium is anything to be ashamed of -- he’s tried to kill us twice -- but they might not understand! They don’t share my sense of the hunt -- for prey, or for passion!

So Tigra goes to try to make out with Wonder Man.

Tigra: “Long time no petting, big man!”

Whoa!

Pretty forward!

But Wonder Man tells her that though he really enjoyed making out with her on the beach, there can be no more casual petting between them.

He thinks that he might have a chance with Christy, from the movie set. Since they’ve been working pretty closely.

And Wonder Man was under the impression that Tigra was with Hank...?

Tigra: “What about me and Hank? We’re not an item, if that’s what you mean!”

Wonder Man: “He thinks you are -- !”

Tigra: “Pfui on what he thinks! NOBODY OWNS ME!”

And she storms off again, yelling that women with glasses aren’t attractive.

It’s a matter of opinion, really.

So, Tigra finds Iron Man instead.

He wanted to relax in the sun as much as everyone else but the most he could muster is... just taking the helmet off.

I don’t remember whether Tony has a secret identity here or not. I know that Tigra knows who he is. And he was walking around with Hawkeye and Mockingbird out of costume so they could visit Fury.

Okay, so probably the team knows.

Don’t know why he’s only taking off his helmet. Because he says he wanted to duck into his personal bungalow so he could take off his helmet. Like he’s hiding his identity.

Whatever.

Anyway, Tigra tries to hit on him too.

But despite all of Tony’s light inappropriate comments during his time on this team with Tigra, he was just being friendly.

Apparently Tony is one of those people who is just always flirty.

But he still feels too guilty over dating Jan after she divorced Hank. He could never do anything with Tigra while she’s with Hank or while Hank thinks she is (because of her making out with him). Especially when Hank is still messed up over losing his robot son.

Since Tony tried to soften the blow by saying he’d be all over Tigra if Hank weren’t involved, Tigra storms off to break up with Hank.

Geez.

She finds Hank inside the main compound building talking to Joachin, apparently the manager of the grounds crew.

Huh! The West Coast Avengers have a support staff!

Anyway, Tigra basically yells ‘beat it nerd!’ and Joachin excuses himself.

Tigra doesn’t get the chance to give Hank a piece of her mind because Hank “aware of what women are thinking” Pym sees her mad face, assumes that it’s because he hasn’t been paying enough attention to her, and asks if she wants to kiss.

And she does.

Tigra: “Sure! Who could turn down a kiss...?”

Tigra, this is just kicking the problem down the road...

Anyway, IN SPACE

Near THE SUN

That Quantum dude from the cover who looks like he should fight Captain Mar-Vell pops out of the Sun and heads for Earth.

In fairness, the Earth shot first.

He’s not the only introduction.

At Horesham Nuclear Plant, alarms suddenly go off, signaling a meltdown or maybe a meltout.

Does that make any sense? No? Too bad.

The bride of Frankenstein like lady melts out of the reactor and kills the nuclear technicians with a touch as she strolls out of the plant.

As she’s on her way out, the high-voltage lines leading from the plant snap, revealing Zzzax, the man-shaped electromagnetic energy field. He was introduced in the Hulk book and has apparently died at the end of his every appearance.

Doesn’t seem to have slowed him down.

Anyway, he joins bride of Frankenstein (Halflife) and the two hike south towards Los Angeles.

Huh. Weird.

Seems like some kind of gathering of some kind of group.

But whyyyy?

Also, according to marvel wiki, this group is sometimes called Trouble, as on the cover, and that’s a stupendously stupid name.

Back at the West Coast Avengers Compound, Hank Pym briefs Hawkeye on his findings on the deed book that was mysteriously burned.

Annnd he doesn’t have a lot to report. There were heavy sulfur compounds and evidence of extremely high heat which didn’t singe the adjacent pages. So its obviously magic nonsense.

Hawkeye: “Sounds like Master Pandabear, all right!”

But Hank has some other ideas.

Since Master Pandemonium was a movie star, Wonder Man could ask around the studios to see if anyone knows anything. And Hank can pick up where Firebird left off and check with any local occult bookstores.

Business out of the way, Hawkeye asks how Hank and Tigra are doing.

Hank, a poor dolt, thinks things are going just great!

Unaware that elsewhere, Tigra is kicking herself “why do I melt any time any man wants me?”

Cat soul, probably.

Maybe you should see about having that looked at?

But she suddenly decides that she doesn’t care about self-control (which is saying no, self-control is saying that’s enough) and that when she kills Master P and gets one of her souls yanked out, she’s going to stick with being Tigra and just Tigra. Goodbye human worries and inhibitions.

And then while jumping around the trees, she comes up short and painfully bellyflops to the ground.

Tigra, if you’re still alive, I want to ask what good is a cat soul if you can’t even reliably land on your feet?

... I’m pretty sure she’s still alive.

She has so many more degrading plot points to be part of.

=|

Anyway, Quantum appears above the city yelling in an alien language and blasting out heat.

The goofy bystanders guess that what he’s yelling is probably a challenge and probably for the (West Coast) Avengers since they’re the only superhero team “this so-called town’s got!”

Oh, and Zzzax and Halflife show up too.

Unlike Quantum, they can speak.

Zzzax apparently wants to eat the electrical energy in people! That’s distressing!

The LAPD calls the (West Coast) Avengers (and gets Hank since he answers the phones) because “this is what you’re supposed to be for!” and Hank summons the (West Coast) Avengers.

Tigra doesn’t show up, due to her probably non-fatal bellyflop but Hank says there’s no time to wait for her.

Hank Pym, non-superhero: “There are three major menaces on Sunset Boulevard!”

Iron Man: “Sounds like a set-up for a punchline -- but I still don’t know L.A. well enough to know what it is!”

... Hah.

Anyway, the West Coast Avengers minus Tigra pile into the Quinjet and about seven minutes later, Iron Man and Wonder Man are jumping out of the Quinjet over Sunset Boulevard.

Wonder Man: “Every time I go into action, I get to be a real, live Wonder Man! What could be better than that?”

He punches Quantum and whoops now there’s lots of Quantum.

Wonder Man assumes that lots of Quantum won’t be strong but whoops, he made an ass out of him and him.

Iron Man: “I think that was the set-up to a punch line, Wondy!”

Wonder Man: “I know! I know!”

With Iron Man and Wonder Man dealing with excessive Quantums, Mockingbird squares up against Halflife (designated girl fight?) and Hawkeye against Zzzax.

In fairness to that last one, Hawkeye has fought and beat Zzzax before. He’s pretty sure he can beat him in no time flat just by shooting an arrow with a wire through him into a water source.

Except... Hawkeye doesn’t know where to find water in Los Angeles.

I think there’s an ocean somewhere westward. Does that help, Hawkeye?

Mockingbird similarly thinks she’ll be done with her opponent “this refugee from Frederick’s of Hollywood” pretty quickly and then she’ll come help Hawkeye find water.

Halflife: “Quiet, woman! Your raucous bravado disturbs the tranquility of -- Halflife!”

Huh, so that’s what she do.

That answers one question about this bridge of Frankenstein. But her statement here raises more questions.

Why is she getting involved in superhero fights if she doesn’t like raucous bravado and would prefer the tranquility of living in a nuclear reactor? Also, why was she living in a nuclear reactor??

(For the tranquility, probably)

Anyway. She makes people age. Probably halves their life, if I had to guess.

A Quantum knocks Wonder Man to the road and Hawkeye asks if he’ll find (and break) a water main while he’s at it.

Wonder Man rips up a water main and sprays the water all over. Hawkeye shoots a wired arrow and shorts out Zzzax just like he said he would.

Wow, Zzzax lasted no time and got to do zero things.

That’s why when villains with a super easy way to beat them come back, they’ve usually made some personal changes so that super easy way doesn’t work anymore.

Otherwise you wind up like Zzzax here.

With Zzzax there taken care of, Hawkeye runs to help Mockingbird who has aged terribly but Iron Man lands between Halflife and Mockingbird and Hawkeye, figuring he’s better suited to take her on.

Halflife: “And you think Halflife cannot speed the process of decay within you, metal man? My touch takes you halfway to your death  -- and each subsequent touch takes you half the remaining distance!”

That makes me curious whether she can age Iron Man’s armor or not but probably not but it doesn’t matter, even touching Iron Man’s armor is aging the man inside.

Iron Man still has a point that he’s better suited to fight Halflife though because he can up the power of his armor to compensate as the man inside ages.

But he’s not actually... doing anything with keeping his power up. He’s not fighting back because he’s spending all his effort adjusting the armor’s power.

So now three Avengers are tied up with Halflife which is fairly non-ideal when the other villain in the fight is a lot of guys.

Wonder Man actually realizes this. That Quantum is strong and numerous but that Halflife is taking Avengers out of the fight.

So he just swoops down and whisks her away from his three teammates.

She threatens that she’ll just age him the same she did his teammates but whoops. Can’t age energy.

Wonder Man: “I’m not flesh and blood! I’m ionic energy -- I don’t ever have to age or die -- and you can’t take me halfway to nowhere!”

And then he knocks her out in one punch. I guess she doesn’t have a lot going for her other than that aging trick.

Wonder Man: All those years of fearing death -- and all the time, I was essentially immortal!

Irony!

Anyway, there’s no ontological inertia here. As soon as Halflife was knocked out, the aging effects vanished from Mockingbird and Iron Man.

Speaking of easy victories once you figure out their deal...

Hawkeye just pulls a theory out his butt that Quantum is solar-powered and uses a smokescreen arrow to make him take a beddy-bye.

I seriously have no idea how he came to this conclusion but I guess I shouldn’t discount the archer.

Remember, he’s the scientific genius who invented anti-gravity just for fun.

With all three Troubles down for the count, Hawkey congratulates the team for good teamwork.

They did a less obvious CHANGE PLACES “and fought what would have seemed the other guys’ enemies!”

I mean. Kinda.

Wonder Man fought the girl who had been designated for the girl fight. And Hawkeye fought the flying brick enemy. But Hawkeye also took out the electrical guy which was his opponent at the start. Mockingbird got olded and then didn’t get to do anything. And Iron Man didn’t do much at all except buy time.

Geez, I keep getting the feeling that Iron Man doesn’t do a lot in this book.

Hawkeye: “We really are what I’ve always wanted us to be -- a team!”

He says as Tigra is missing.

‘Wow, we’re really clicking today for some reason!’

I joke. But its a weird thing to pat yourself on the back for when the team isn’t all there, isn’t it?

With all the back patting accomplished, Iron Man realizes something is poking his brain about the specific guys that they just fought. Poking his SCIENCE brain.

And as waves of gravity bring the team to their knees and then flat on their asses, Iron Man realizes too late what the group theme was.

THE FOUR FUNDAMENTAL FORCES!

Graviton, you giant nerd.

... And he was the one creeping on Tigra and now has her on a leash. Graviton, you consistent creep.

Now, I’m not a very science person, unlike Tony Science-Brain Stark.

But the four fundamental forces are gravity, the weak atomic force, the strong nuclear force, and electromagnetism.

I don’t think Zzzax was very magnetic but was very electric. But he’s dispersed so this group never got to be all four forces together.

Do Halflife and Quantum represent the weak and strong forces?

The weak force is responsible for particle decay and Halflife talked about decay a lot but it was more aging decay so... did Graviton just go ‘wtfe close enough’?

And the strong force is what holds an atom’s nucleus together. Does it make sense that the guy that represents it splits like an RPG slime if hit?

Science side of my audience, let me know.

The important thing though is that Graviton is back even though the last time he tangled with the West Coast Avengers, they drugged his drink and then kicked his ass.

Can’t wait for them to kick his ass again and I hope Tigra doesn’t make out with him.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because. Like and reblog too. Going minimalist this time.

[kpopinesss]

[ateez] S A N ➱ baby daddy au

YOU HAVE TO RAISE HIS SON AFTER HE LEAVES. MAFIA SAN.

warnings: teen pregnancy

a/n: sorry ya’ll I accidentally posted this on my main lol - @atinybitofau

• raising a son on your own was hard.

• raising a son whose genes were on par to his notorious father was even harder—

• a hooligan. a mischievous troublemaker.

• an eyesore in morality.

• and yes, your son was just like him.

• cold. ruthless. blood thirsty.

• but unlike San, your son loved you enough never to leave you.

• appreciated the things you did for him enough to stay.

• “Eomma..”

• you turn on your side when your son interrupts your slumber,

• injuries blatant on his tethered arm.

• raising a child who’s now 13 since you were 16 never easy.

• “Where were you, Ari?”

• he sits at the edge of your bed and leans for the warmth only a mother could give. “I was trying to get your medicine.. but I ended up causing a scene and the store owner kicked me out.”

• you sigh letting him lay down beside you. “It’s just a little cold. You don’t need to go and risk your life to save mine.”

• he wants to ask you.

• he’s old enough..

• why hasn’t his father came back to be the one the take care of you?

• to take care of him.

• why do you have to suffer alone?

• “Ari, just do me a favor and take care of yourself the way you do for me.” you cuddle into your sons warmth too. “That’s all I need.”

• but you’re lying.

• you’re getting sicker.

• and he can’t take it anymore.

• he goes to lower than the low to find something to save you, his mother.

• eventually ending up tied up in San’s gang house.

• brutally beat for intervening a drug heist—

• “Alright you little shit,” San holds your son up by the collar, blood running down his face mixed with his tears. “I don’t care that you’re 13 years old. Hell you could’ve been 10 and I’ll still beat the living crap out of you. No one just comes barging into a drug heist for no reason. That’s not just a coincidence.”

• it is.

• it really is.

• and maybe god was just giving him a sign.

• because you were on the verge of dying—

• and his own son being dealt his life and in the hands of his own father,

• yet San still didn’t know what was going on.

• what sign god was trying to give him.

• “I have to admit.” San runs a finger down his son’s chiseled jaw and smirks. “You’ve got a nice face. But in a couple minutes, you might not even be able to recognize it anymore.”

• “I-I-I was just trying to get medicine for my mom! I swear.”

• San really needed to get a clue.

• not all drugs were recreational.

• and some—

• some can actually save lives not just make dirty money.

• “You think I’ll believe that sissy crap?”

• Ari shudders looking to his torn up jeans. “H-her pictures in my wallet. I swear, she’s the only thing I’ll do anything illegal for. I promise I wasn’t trying to fuck anything up. She’d kill me if I got involved. Kill herself if I pushed myself too far.”

• he’s convinced at the desperation in the poor kid’s voice.

• normally not as merciful but he digs through the kid’s pocket for the picture anyway.

• and he should be glad he did because shit—

• the picture of you made him go from 100 to 0 real quick.

• “Y/n?”

• “T-that’s her! That’s my mom.”

• San glances up at the beat up kid, horrified.

• horrified at the sight.

• that he was basically beating to death a walking replica of himself.

• an age far enough that fit the time he left you.

• “You’re telling me my high school sweetheart..” San’s bloody fingers curl around your picture. “The woman you’ve been trying to steal medication for is your mom? The woman in this picture.”

• he’s at first in denial.

• that the kid he almost beat to death was your son.

• but denial hits him even harder the chances he could also be the father.

• “M-my mom is everything to me.” Ari bawls his last tears out begging for his own father to spare his life. or anything to save yours. “She’s only got me. I’ve only got her. S-sir please. At least save her. If you wanna kill me sir, please save my mom first.”

• his jaw clenches,

• still knealt down on one knee propped in front of his pleading son.

• studying every feature of his face.

• how on par everything was to his own.

• San was beating up his son, he realized.

• holy shit he was about to kill his own son.

• “Why didn’t she tell me?”

• “W-what?” his son chokes. “What do you mean?”

• “Fucking hell— kid, I think I’m your dad.”

• the five days that your son was held captive was long enough for your body to grow cold and weaker.

• laying in a hospital bed nearly blacked out.

• your son cries over your body as you sleep.

• hoping he’s not too late.

• not too late to give you the one thing that might be able to keep you alive.

• a husband?

• finally a father to your child.

• “You’re the husband?” the doctor finds San watching from the doorway awkwardly glancing at the black dressed men who towered behind him. “You’ve got quite the entourage there, sir. But not even an army of soldiers would be able to save your wife right now. She’s hanging on a thin line. Barely holding on. That woman needs a miracle if she wants to live the next good years of her life.”

• San watches as his son that he never knew about cries over you.

• wishes you would’ve told him..

• he would’ve stayed.

• would’ve loved you.

• why were you always so selfish? always wanting to do things that pushed you too far even if there were another option available.

• “Eomma.”

• you hear everything.

• your son.

• San.

• “Ma, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get the medicine. I got into trouble again, ma. I’m sorry.” Ari folds his hand over your limp one’s. “B-but I have something even better. Someone who could help you and me. He can take care of us, ma.”

• it hurts.

• you want to wake up for your son because he deserves the world.

• he deserves a fight for the both of you but the option you chose came short.

• in the past, the option of never telling San in the first place of his own son.

• “Ma.. he’s gonna talk to you okay? I’m gonna let him talk to you.” Ari sniffles and suddenly your hand gets replaced with a different warmth. “He’s gonna tell you it’s gonna be okay. I love you, eomma. I love you. We’re gonna be okay.”

• it’s almost enough.

• your heart beats a little faster.

• burns a little more so you could breathe on your own.

• it’s definitely working.

• “You shoulda told me, bubba.”

• the nickname San had given you years ago,

• a nickname you thought you’d never hear again, rings in your ear and that light so far away,

• it gets further.

• “You shoulda told me about him. About you.” he lifts your hand against his trembling lips. “13 years? 13 years after I tell you to take care of yourself and now you’re almost dying. Come on now. My girl was a fighter. Pushed herself harder than she wanted to.”

• his voice is like a mantra—

• a dream that gives you a little bit more of life you we’re starting to lose.

• “Bubba, you were the love of my life. And I didn’t tell you enough how much I appreciated you. I know it may be too late and if god forbid I do lose you, I will make sure our baby stays safe okay?”

• you think if you were awake right now you’d be crying.

• as if a weight lifted off your shoulders.

• cause the one person who could save you right now—you and your son,

• was right here.

• ready to go merciless to keep you two safe.

• “I left loving you. And I’ll come back loving you. 13 years only kept us apart. But let me tell you, y/n, it never stopped me from loving you.”

• he’s unsure when he lets go of your hand.

• usually gets what he wants with one word—

• cause he’s a notorious mobster.

• but let’s just say you were the one thing he wanted he could’ve never gotten even with two words.

• 3?

• “I love you.” he continues. “And if I’m gonna have to love our son the way I should’ve loved you then so be it.”

• but life’s not like movies where you wake up right during a miracle.

• this miracle takes time.

• and after an EXPENSIVE deal of money and medicine to keep you alive,

• a year it takes for you to finally open your eyes.

• to a nice hospital bed room.

• filled with flowers and the reminiscent scent of old spice and San.

• your hair’s a bit longer.

• the sun’s definitely brighter.

• but not as bright as the smile you see once you turn to the side.

• “Good morning beautiful.” San reaches his forehead against yours. “How were your dreams?”

• you choke on a decent reply. “S-San?”

• “The one and only.”

• “Where’s— Where’s Ari? Where’s my—“

• “Our?” San chuckles softly. “You mean our son.”

• you kind of remember.

• it takes a while to remember the voices and the dreams in your head.

• how waking up to find them real was surreal on its own.

• “He’s at school, bubba.” San cradles your face in the palm of his hand staring at you like he was hypnotized. “I’ll have someone pick him up. Tell him mommy’s awake.”

• “San..” you shake your head in his hand. “How is this real?”

• “Our son might be a miracle worker. Brought us together the way we made him. Brought me so I could keep you alive.”

• cheesy as you remember.

• although this handsome and older version of your old flame you aren’t too sure.

• “So you just show up while I’m in a coma and play daddy while I sleep?” you hoarsely chuckle while he smiles against your lips. “Even after 13 years, you won’t grudge against me for not telling you?”

• “I can’t blame you for trying to save yourselves.” he admits with his lips still on yours. “I wasn’t good enough for you. I know still I’m not. But I’m gonna try this time. Even if I have to pretend I’m not who I am sometimes.”

• you two are interrupted by a crying teenager.

• one you remembered resembled San.

• but now them standing right next to each other,

• looking like two carbon copies and a surreal dream in your head.

• maybe you are dead...

• “Ma!” he shoves his father away abruptly. “Look ma! I brought dad! He helped pay your debt, pays for my school. Even finished the hospital bills.”

• you glare at your always boisterous ex boyfriend and long lost father to your son.

• “You did what?”

• “Did I mention this was my way of getting back at you for not telling me about my 14 year old son?”

• “San how the hell am I gonna pay you back?”

• you just woke up.

• and the doctor runs in ready to sedate to keep you stable for at least more than 24 hours.

• but the way San looks at you is enough.

• him being there like your life long medication itself.

• holding your hand while your son holds your other one proposing,

• “Marry me. And we can call it even.”

@atinybitofau

[deep-hearts-core]

2011 - semifinal 1

originally posted 6/13/20

Poland The first adjective to spring to mind about this performance is sassy. This song just has a lot of attitude to it! I liked the dance performance and I think Magdalena sang well but there was some stuff that felt off at times, I think it might have been something about the camera work? But yeah overall this did not deserve last place at all. I know this was a really big semifinal but like. Come on. Norway This also did not deserve such a low placing! Stella Mwangi is maybe not the most talented vocalist ever but she sure does perform, and Haba Haba is really a fun and joyful song that always makes me feel energetic and happy. I did keep being distracted by her dress though lol, I'm certain that a different costuming choice would have made all the difference.

Albania I really love the more rock-style stuff that Albania sends. This performance is kind of messy - the song is much better in studio - but you can't deny that Aurela has an amazing voice and the song really holds the titular passion. Armenia I forgot how good this instrumental is? Like ok, the live performance sucked, but the instrumental is surprisingly good. A lot of things irritate me about this performance - the giant boxing glove and later the boxing ring, and also that backup singer who was really not doing a good job - but it's honestly not the worst thing Armenia has ever sent. Emmy herself is actually doing alright, it's just, this live performance was so bad. Turkey I really like the song and the performance is mostly okay, but the contortionist makes me incredibly uncomfortable so I have to pass on this one. Serbia I remember really loving this song when I first heard it, and I still really like it but I think I've lost some of the enthusiasm. Nina has a great voice and the visuals here were really fun, the costumes and the staging and the background were all just good!

Russia Get You as a song is just so incredibly sleazy... but I don't 100% hate it, mostly because Alex is doing a fine job of selling the song to the audience. I'm not a fan of his vocals, or the song, or the lyrics, but that stage energy is really something to be proud of. Switzerland The background here is such an eyesore. It's a nice song, it really doesn't suck and it's passively enjoyable, but Anna's performance here was also kinda lackluster, so. Georgia This performance is really great if you ignore the outfits! I especially like the rap section - this was the performance that convinced me originally to come around to the idea of rap at ESC. It's just good music! I like a lot of the Georgian entries to some degree or another but this is a standout because it's good relative to the songs in its year too. Finland We love good-natured youthful environmentalism on this blog! Da Da Dam is a really sweet song, nice to listen to and very timeless in a way, effectively simple.

Malta One Life is bad without the distinction of being creative about it. Montenegro 2012? Bad, but you sure remembered it for what it was. This song? Not so much. It's generic and absolutely forgettable but also I strongly dislike every second I spent watching and listening to this. San Marino I'm surprised by how good this staging is. San Marino doesn't usually do well with staging, and 2011 had one of those really difficult stages, but somehow it ended up working out. The song is another story though. Senhit's an OK singer but Stand By is just boring. I know she was due to represent San Marino this year - I don't know if they're bringing her back or not but I wonder what she'd be able to do with a good song. Croatia The triple costume change was the most interesting thing about this performance. The rest of it stands firmly in the territory of "okay". Iceland I need to get this out of the way, the seated guitarist in this performance looks like one of my professors and it throws me off every time I watch this performance. Okay... anyway, this song is really just wholesome, it's another of those timeless ones even if it is a bit cliche. Vocals good all around too.

Hungary I really like this as a song, but the stage performance really screwed it over. Kati isn't quite the problem here, her stage vocals are awesome, but her styling and what the backing singers/dancers were doing really just isn't it. Also, this song lowkey sounds like an uptempo version of Sweden's 2014 entry... hey Sanna, did you plagiarize? Portugal I'm uncertain about what the Portuguese are actually advocating for here, but it's a nice song I guess? Lithuania Another one that I strongly dislike. This song is so... saccharine, like it's not objectively that bad but it gets on my nerves. I think I dislike Evelina's stage presence here too. Azerbaijan I don't hate this, I'm even okay with it as a winner. 2011 was a weird year and Running Scared winning wasn't the strangest thing about it. It's actually one of the most modern-sounding songs looking at this contest from today's lens. Greece The sung parts of this song are quite good but the rap just ruins it all. I think this is possibly one of my least favorite raps in ESC, it's just... bad. How the hell did this get first in its semi???

My personal qualifiers Iceland Hungary Azerbaijan Georgia Poland Norway Finland Serbia Turkey Albania Miscellaneous thoughts That drumline interval was really cool! My siblings do drumline so that was fun for me to watch aha

[obaewankenope]

What sharks make for the best possible stuffed animal models?

Oh goodness!! Aaaah stuffed plushie shark!

I have one, a Mako shark from the Blue Planet Acquarium which I love. It lives in my room, usually next to my pillow when I sleep, and it's hilarious to wake up to because it's just AAAAAAAH with its mouth next to my face with its embroidered cat-like eyes. I love it!

I called him Greg, by the way.

Buuuut. I guess it depends on the kind of shark plushie you'd want.

If you want one with lots of colour on it, I'd guess a carpet shark of some type. 70s rugs were an eyesore for a reason but I'd guess it'd be cute on a toy... maybe. The Wobbegong shark, which I mention here, has some excellent camouflage that literally looks like someone just made a rug from their grandparents into a shark. Poor thing.

[image source: wikipedia]

But if you want one that looks all RAWR you might consider a Hammerhead or Tiger Shark.

[hammerhead shark, image source: men's journal]

[tiger shark, image source: bbc]

You can always go with a Great White looking all Durrr Dun.... Durr Dun... Durr Dun Durr Dun Durr Durr Durr Durr DUURRRRHNGDGIUHDGUGHDFDHFDHD-

AH MAH LEG.

[image source: livescience]

Ahem.

But honestly, I'm completely biased because if you want a cute looking shark plushie, I have to recommend the Catshark. Lesser (now called the Smaller) Spotted Catsharks are adorable as hell. They don't have big ol' teef to scare you, they have a soft nubby nose not a triangle to end you with, and honestly have adorable expressions.

They also have personalities. Like seriously. They have personalities that scientists have actively observed.

So yeah. I guess the answer is Catshark lol.

[image source: wildlifetrust]