#its just. bouncing around in here
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So many future man thoughts but im unable to make anything coherent out of them
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So I spoke somewhat about my thoughts on Emanator Sampo here, but I never really thought of it from a design point of view or what kind of powers he would have until just recently. But I actually kind of love leaning into it from a "stage hand" perspective?
Because like. Aha's body in THEIR official art is completely black, giving attention to all the fun brightly colored things around THEM. And that's so fitting for Sampo! He usually prefers to be a side character. He likes to act from the shadows. His is a much more subtle hand.
So I wonder if as an Emanator, a lot of his clothes are actually very dark? Not necessarily plain, still extravagant and needlessly detailed in things like cut and quality with lots of different fabrics and textures and ornamentation, but dark. Or maybe even his skin itself becomes blackened further down his body; his hands in particular are dark, as a sort of sleight of hand reference.
The motif of a lot of straps wrapped around him like in his canon design is still present, but they're all loose and flowing off of him like paper streamers now instead of restraining him or holding him together. He is no longer contained! Or maybe they're still a bit more rigid/heavy, but just draped more like red stage curtains!
And this is like. Fully self-indulgent, but I love inhuman designs, and there's nothing in canon to say I can't do this, so screw it! Go for broke!! Maybe it's not visible to normal people, but Sampo having a second set of arms would be really cool, as further sleight of hand reference. One set is almost normal looking, but his hands are a bright, attention-drawing white, and the other is dark, set almost in the shadows of the first arms, to act less noticeably.
He also has something of a broken heart design to him in canon (the front of his black shirt with its jagged shape down the middle; his coat looks like a full heart shape in the back), and I actually like him keeping that element as an Emanator, because I think it suits him. Sampo says his taste in aesthetics and views on Elation involve human dignity,
and the story he helps create in Belobog involves the long and winding road of resistance and survival and eventual triumph in the face of some very adverse, oppressing odds. (I'm pretty sure I heard he once called Wildfire "artless" though, plus the man acts like he thinks Shame is some kind of dessert, so like ndkdjzjskkd) But the point being!!
I think Sampo is someone who can appreciate heartbreak and angst and tragedy in a story, because it makes the victory at the end all the sweeter. And this would be another thing he shares with Aha, because I think THEY did bless the Mourning Actors partly just to be a little shit, but also because Aha does recognize tragedy as part of THEIR Path, too, and you can see it in some of the game. So a broken heart motif can still suit him, and I like him having elements of both comedy and tragedy. Like his clothing having a happy sun/sad moon (like the moon in Aha's art) or him having both of the traditional comedy/tragedy masks in his design.
And as Emanator, Sampo can maybe play with the stage settings environment, too. Like lights sometimes behave strangely around him, appearing blindingly bright to someone or dramatically dark. Sampo wills it and suddenly there seems to be a metaphorical spotlight right where he wants everyone to look. And when he doesn't want to be noticed, his face seems to be cast in shadow, he seemingly just fades into the background, no one notices or recognizes him and he sneaks away easily. He can create smoke or fog literally out of thin air without his bombs now, too, the air will just suddenly thicken until his stage is obscured, and Sampo can set the scene as he pleases or disappear without a trace.
And in line with being a stage hand, Sampo can direct attention like no other. He was already extremely good at this as a normal mortal, and becoming an Emanator only took it up to 11, past human limits. Sampo points, and all present feel compelled to follow his fingertip. He looks away, and they all follow his gaze. He can even affect the mood of an audience; he can influence everyone to be calm and placid or he can whip them into a feverish frenzy. Sometimes a crowd will start to become unsettled, agitation stirring until it boils over, until it incites a full on violent mob.
And in the middle of all that chaos will stand one perfectly calm figure, face cast in shadow, until they quietly slip away out of sight.
#sampo koski#hsr sampo#emanator sampo#hsr sampo koski#honkai star rail#hsr#they were talking about Emanator Sampo designs in the Sampard Nation server one night and somehow THAT was what got my mind going fjkdaljfk#there was also talk of him making monsters explode in confetti or making their heads pop off like a jack-in-the-box (my contribution hehe)#which is hilarious but just wasn't super relevant here jfklasdj#(I miss bouncing around ideas like that...if anyone knows another sampard server or even just a sampo-dedicated one hit me up!)#(i would love to join and would probably even have friends to bring!!)#but anyway yes I love Emanator Sampo being stage hand themed haha it's very fun with him#I have a lot of screenshots so I wanna try to use them for things like this more!#I think its in SU where it says Aha isn't as powerful an aeon as some of the others like Qlipoth or Lan or Nanook#so I like Sampo's powers being less direct and not just pure destructive power like a lot of the Destruction Emanators#it lets you get real creative with it <3#maybe next I'll bring over my thoughts on his mask design? Ooh but I wanna talk about Geppie too...#Geppie protecting his soldiers from Cocolia or the actions he could have taken or his very sweet relationship with Bronya-#-or him being inspired by Serval or his HILARIOUS relationship with Pela...#Decisions decisions...
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The Beheaded makes a pitch
#saroart#dead cells#the beheaded#the collector#bad comic#art is all over the place because holy fuck im so tired#this idea has bounced around in my head like a dvd screensaver for a long time#also the views expressed in this comic are not necessarily the views of the author#dont come at me because its good and does amazing dps or whatever i know it has high damage per tick#it can be a little annoying in dailies when you dont get cells#and i do want more boss stuff#beheaded just wants a cool sword#collector would be one of those dont talk to me until ive had my coffee assholes#but yknow its panacea#in fact that was one of the earliest pieces of dc fanart i drew#dont think i ever posted it here and thats fine#god i miss when art was easy tho
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planning to make a move tonight with this guy and deeply terrified even though i know he's interested, he's made it very clear that he's interested but putting the ball in my court to decide what, if anything, i want and i've made up my mind to pursue this but like. i've been single since the obama administration because there's not, like, a person-shaped hole in my life, i don't need to be with someone to feel whole, and i have to make room in my life for another person and idk how to do this and i hate feeling vulnerable or exposed or out of control and giving someone else the power to hurt me and having to just. trust that they won't. but i kind of... accidentally already gave him that power without realizing it. i kind of... feel like this is just acknowledging something that's already started.
i am. so nervous.
like, a little giddy, a little eager, a lot anxious for no reason other than how terrified i am of major changes even when i feel like they're good ones and. and. and.
#i am having to force myself to eat#i have cleaned the whole apartment. i am shaking like a leaf. i will 100% need a glass of liquid courage.#i've already told all my family that i'm doing this so i can't chicken out.#it just feels like... it's time. we're here. we've reached this point.#he won't be over here for like four more hours and my brain is eating itself.#this is going to be comical probably i am just going to have to come out of the gate with it bc if i wait i'll chicken out.#i've been trying to come up with what to say all week but i know my mind is going to go blank and i'll end up babbling.#he knows about my issues with vulnerability. he knows about my anxiety. he knows about... me.#he'll probably pick up on the gist of it even if i'm stumbling through what i need to say#hnnngh#i feel like komi from komi can't communicate when she accidentally calls tadano#like bouncing around the room ''panic panic panic panic''#and its been all day of this and like probably four more hours of it and ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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what's your separated au about? :0
WHERE WE WENT WRONG ASK SPOTTED [LOCKS IN]
okay essentially without going into spoiler territory (it all seems kind of typical but there's a lot of twists and turns i have planned!!! trust me)
VERY basic premise, with leo/donnie with draxum and raph/mikey with splinter. i'm going to keep leo and donnie's names as they are for simplicity's sake and say that at one point they just decided to use the names their bio father gave them when they asked draxum for like... Actual names, they were probably just numbered before. they both have kind of messy complicated relationships with him
^^^ draxum is a pretty shit parent but im not going to make him super abusive (its fine when people do, im just going for the more nuanced approach!!). he's very goal-oriented and for a long time he's struggled to see the weapons he created as people, although he never outright Abused them. he was pretty emotionally neglectful and hard on them when it came to training/pushing them into their roles, and over the course of the story he's going to grapple both with humanizing them and also descending into a spiral of paranoia as things go on (all im gonna say about what's going on with him right now)
personality alterations are more subtle in some places and more obvious in others. raph is a lot more serious and overprotective, mikey's very similar to his canon characterization but he's a lot more rebellious and determined to prove his own independence, and donnie's actually very blunt and deadpan to counteract leo being UHHHHHHHHHH. hmmmmm. an insane person!! (lmao raph/mikey are dog-coded in the way that mikey is an excitable puppy and raph is an old sad sheepdog, and leo/donnie are cat-coded in the way that donnie is a cat that stays in high up places and glares at you, and leo is the type of cat that rolls on its back and looks cute and then ATTACKS when you try to pet it. thats the best way i can summarize them)
donnie was very much the family stickler on his side of the equation and leo was unruly and untameable, but that kind of... switches after some things happen. leo becomes complacent out of fear (he is so complicated and fucked up god bless) and donnie changes his priorities after he meets mikey.
because essentially the core of the story is that donnie and mikey being the youngest of their families, with overprotective older brothers who are actually kind of more reliant on them than the other way around, want to connect and actually be a family (as well as stop the conflict going on) but raph and leo REALLY DO NOT WANT THEM TO.
and i mean REALLY. really really. raph distrusts donnie and hates leo and leo DESPISES both raph and mikey (disaster twins are really codependent and its gonna shine through), so there's really just opposition on every side of the equation. things turn out alright in the end, but it's.... a long, long process. there's a point in the story where they have to do the unlocking ninpo thing and it takes so much longer and it is so much worse and its such a fucking mess LMAO
wow i love my sep au (one man's junk but with more crying and blood in it)
if things go according to plan it'll start after i finish canary continuity, i already have it all outlined. its just beginning stories that is kind of a struggle for me so the first few chapters are gonna be hard. even though i KNOW what im doing bleckgh.
#ask#where we went wrong#rottmnt#a lot of sep aus up donnie's general manic insanity which is BASED and i love that shit#but i am going to make him so dry he is a constant dgaf kind of person#he says the most insane shit straight-faced#it also means he's kind of accidentally rude. type of person to walk away in the middle of you trying to talk to him#its a really fun balance with leo who is getting all the manic insanity instead... you know how he turns his obnoxious bullshit up when hes#-just upset and coping? imagine that but constant. and worse#i want to bounce him like basketball he sucks so bad#he also takes the longest to turn around on the whole becoming a family thing#for a lot of reasons#also i havent mentioned april but shes very much a character here too!! dw#cassandra and karai both also get a lot to do in the plot (big mama too kinda) ... i love women#also if you wanna ask more questions im open to it!! i just have to be vague about some of the big stuff teehee
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literally how i feel any time i read this line. absolutely NOT
i think he's a great mirror type character for the mc depending on how much you draw on the default ra-on and their characterization, but more specifically their feeling of inferiority to solomon (which i take for my mc loyal). both the mc and bael are stuck filling in for a role for a king that neither feels they're well equipped for or were even born to hold and the fact that bael's so used to taking the fall that he's automatically ready to do it for you too is just. man. orz
#cliffnotes/.txt#whb#bael whb#its so...augh he makes me so sad#ik itll probably take forever to get to avisos since the promised chapter 6 hasnt even released yet#but waiting so patiently to pick bael apart (not really patient (vibrating like a chihuahua))#bael and mc spiderman pointing meme#god and both being like an imperfect copy#just similar enough to pass off as a fraud but so very different at the same time#and bc of that they'll never be true replacements#though the mc isnt even supposed to be one its like#the moment of disappointment almost everyone has shown when they realize its not solomon#even if they change tunes and bounce back quickly its there#happy to meet you but still upset its not him#and the underlying expectation that it *should* be him at first#like how it should be beel in avisos. but its not#both get a good amount of reassurance and support from those around them tho i will say its nicd#esp after seeing how the rest of avisos' camp feels abt bael#they love him and trust in him so much even though he always feels like hes failing them just by not being the king#he does so much and still feels like itll never be enough#ok now im just rambling its time to be quiet before i write an essay in here
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tholomule family portrait 💛🤎 (full tholomule parent designs under the cut!)
the posthoot friday night inspired me to finish my mom and dad tholomule designs - their names are Atticus and Fiona 💛 Atticus is both boys’ bio dad, but Fiona is Matt’s biological mother and adopted Steve when she married Atticus. They both work in the Construction Coven which takes them away from home a lot, which is why Steve had to help raise Matt 💛 they attended Hexside, but worked in Latissa for many years before moving back to Bonesborough sometime during Season 1 (in order to put Matt into Hexside after Steve brought it to their attention he was being bullied at school). (I also worked on designs for Atticus’s siblings, one of whom is Boscha’s three-eyed-mom - I’ll post those hopefully soon but yeah the matt and boscha cousins HC is so personal and real to me)
#steve is like 17 here and matt is 5#the owl house#toh fanart#steve tholomule#matt tholomule#toh steve#toh ocs#atticus tholomule#fiona tholomule#i have. SO many thoughts about this family bouncing around in my head#zach marcus was right when he said if we got tholomule family stuff we wouldnt care about the ships /j#i HC steve studied in the potions track bc his teachers suggested it for students wanting to join the EC someday#inspired partially by a fanfic i read#i also have many thoughts about his bio mom i named her opal but i will probably never design her cause she walked out on steve and atticus#so like fuck her! but shes part demon aka where steve got his horn from (and also his blue eyes)#i have never drawn the glandus uniform before it was kinda fun tbh#eartucks hair cutely @ fiona. please just one chance (yes i know its my own goddamn character LMAO)#steph draws#x
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LUFFY!!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN CONVERTED!!!! LUFFY BELIEVER FULL TIME!!!!! LET US WORSHIP THE SUN!!!!
#luffy deflating like a balloon..... be serious 😭😭#MOMO NOT BEING ABLE TO HEAR LUFFY!!! oh kaido going for the others now..... law could hear his voice too???#NAMI BEING THE FIRST TO STEP UP!!! CHILLS!!! THIS TIME STEPPING UP TO WITNESS THE HORRORS!!! YEAH!!!#yamato really does carry the spirit of oden straight up.... motivating his son and everything...#i feel like i am going insane... I CAN HEAR THE DRUMS!!! nami telling luffy to not die and fulfill his promise WHO ELSE HAD A PROMISE????#is this why his fruit awakened.... because nami reminded him of the promise... omg..... THE DRUMS!!! CHILLS!!!! THE SMILE!!!!! IM SO HYPE!!#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1070#i am smiling so hard rn. contagious#also the cp0 that died for this ajdja.... suffering from success....#THE BOUNCING SOUNDS!!!! THE DRUMS!!!! THE SMILE!!! SANJI JUST VOLTING AWAKE??? see the clouds over his shoulders remain.... as i was saying#you know this has me realising maybe shanks isn't all that bad and stole the fruit from the gov so they couldnt get hold of it#hiyori saying how oden kept hia promise but also how he wanted to keep the promise of opening wano for joyboy#THE KANJURO THING!!! HIYORI WATCH OUT!!! oh its gonna burn orichi by accident YEAAHHH!!!!!!! FUCK YEAHH!!!!#the animation is so fun.. luffy just junping around and shit while hia destruction power is MASSIVE#this is so!!!! kaido complaining about being bored and having fun thru fighting AND HERE COMES LUFFY WITH HIS LOONEY TOONS GOOFY FIGHT!!!!#they knocked this shit out of the park!!! also END CREDITS????!#episode 1071#momo saying kaido got fat 😭 actually kaido got pregnant <3 yamato you're going to be a big brother congrats!!!#the eyes 😭😭 damn luffy flew away and exploded... 😞😞 skipping rope with kaido omg.... everyone should go outside and see this...#we are welcoming here in the luffy believers... barto is gonna enlist hundreds of new members#law is luffy believer number 1 damn the speech he is giving kid... omg kaido bonked him ajshaksjak that was so good he needed witnesses..#nami worried abojt luffy being dead and when he appears she is just like WTF IS THAT!!!!!! HUH???!!#wait a second ooohhhh kaido is goong down too fuck yes akdjaksj momo and yamato peeking over the island jahdksk#THE DRUMS BEING HIS HEART I CANNOT GET OVER IT!!! Kaido shoukd be puking up his insides by now but alas this is so fun BOIOIOIOIOING#FIRST TIME SOMEONE ASKS LUFFY WHO HE IS AND HE DOESN'T SAY MONKEY D LUFFY FUTURE KING OF THE PIRATES. HE SAYS ITS HIM. STRAIGHT UP!!!!#NVM HE SAID IT!!!!! GOD IS THAT YOU????!!!!#episode 1072
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presenting this dialogue without any context because I made myself laugh really hard with it-
"“How about Lizzie Bennet?” … “We’ve got so much in common. We read a lot of books, and we’re deeply annoying to rich men who actually love us a whole lot.”
“You wish you could be Elizabeth Bennet.”
“I think you’re my Mr. Darcy.”
“I think I should’ve checked you for head injuries.”"
#fic bitching#I know what I want the dialogue of this fic to be its everything else thats being a pain#so im just. writing all the dialogue#I do this often with my fics when im bouncing around in different parts#means I can jump into any part and build#anyways I think the two characters here are obvious#have we considered the Pride & Prejudice of it all with Charleshawk. have we#I think we should
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Damnit lev lmfao. I was thinking about Shiva wearing corpse ash being resonant for other reasons, something about his relationship with the Bright Skinned Ones and death and whatever. No, no. More fucking importantly: Oh I wonder why Shiva is known for. you know. wearing bodies. his appearance is a mass of bodies joined together. yeah
#Leviathan is a mass of bodies. Shiva wears the ash of burned corpses. Transforming in both cases the masses into the Matter of the Bodiless#ramblings //#leviathan //#Maheshvara //#Not surprised this is coming up now he loves his fun fact time. Earlier I was poking at what he was doing#because he's... very distracted. And uh. Somewhere over yonder doing war stuff with people. And I was thinking about how he is just so many#circumstance based people at the same time. He'll be doing paperwork in a Royal Office somewhere and on a battlefield elsewhere and#running through the forest as a deer somewhere else and living as members of a school of fish in some transcendental lake#and scrying the pools of God and watching birds in a forest... and he incarnates here too and will be a chef downtown#and a teacher somewhere else up also doing paperwork and some dog on the street begging for food and and and#And over all of it... That central blissful mind that is water itself. all it's senses of self - emotions. thoughts. and so on - arising#from its various movements and shapes as reflections on the surface. But also... a sweet thing. Anyway#That black umbrella Lev that's deep and beyond names... beloved.... Searching for someone...#Shiva throws himself down into reality to bounce around as rays of light... the sun incarnating through the day sky into plants then into#animals and so on slowly recollecting more and more who he is. Searching for Shiva#always. Well. You found him. But then... Well. You go past the crying screaming stage of birth and then you get to fun#You gestate. You know who you are when the Sun's light touches your eyes. You scream at it. You change. You grow.#Then you learn the world is fun... People talk about how it seems ridiculous that someone who had achieved oneness would come back#and I wholly agree on a side thought relevant to that that most people who claim to know oneness don't know it#because the idea of oneness itself is actually a product of duality IE you have to be on a world where Two exists to understand One#One doesn't exist in a unified world. There's no One. In a unified world... So you can absolutely achieve a state of oneness while still#being non-unified if you don't truly get it... But anyway. On the why come back thing... Yeah people don't get it. But people who do get it#come back all the time. This reality is just an experience. You can spend your entire life asleep or you can come play and experience#So. Lev's incarnations on this plane mirror his incarnation of Shiva Into Bodies... He comes here to play games. He plays#He takes photos. He wanders. He plays music for people on street corners. He laughs. He loves. He suffers. He experiences.#Sometimes he doesn't understand. Sometimes he understands. Anyway.... Looking through his eyes... Iridescent scene of cranes#flying over a sunset more rich than I've ever seen on earth but so natural. Fire without fire. Water catching and soaking up every colour.
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beach episode!
#IM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO POST THIS . LORD#i finished this like a week or two ago it just slipped my mind to actually post#anyways hello everypony#thank you to will for the lovely idea ❤️ as always#i just really like the idea of jacob being a total flake and everyone else just hanging out because theres nothing better to do#but theyre still friends because friendship is magic <3#ehehe. anyways i hope u all enjoy#sid totally throws big rocks off of bridges . i love him#anyways#siddex my beloved#OH ALSO. 70s au update#im about 1/3 through chapter 4#i had to stop writing for a bit bc i was housesitting but im back now#im having a lot of fun writing julie... i like being able to bounce around from memory to the present#and finally having jacob here is. well. its setting things in motion#my apologies for not updating you guys as often as i used to#summer is. well. its great until its not#but i promise u i am working on it !!!#that makes it sound like im not. um. just trust me guys#rlm#redlettermedia#gorilla interrupted#art#dex#sid#julie#ray grabowski#siddex#fanart
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I've been thinking, what if after Ruin, Roxy is able to contact Cassie's dad to come get her from the old pizzeria somehow? Like they deal with Mimic and then they call her dad before heading back up to meet him?
Cassie immediately flinching as she realises she's accidentally said the same shit "Gregory" did. Bonus points if Cassie's dad was a surviving member of the initial group of construction workers that went down there and got killed. He just pauses mid-sentence and squints as the cogs turn in his head, around the same time both Cassie and Roxy realise what they're doing.
They both scramble to clarify they're not Mimic actually, this is one hundred percent real, they really are under the Raceway, they swear while he goes silent, not knowing what he should do here. Should he... call someone? Does this mean Mimic is out? That the security is down? Are they actually down there? Is he suppoosed to just... go there and find out if it's a killer robot or his daughter and a nice robot?
Like really, what is he meant to do here lmao the Minis with Roxy and Cassie just have their heads in their hands over this. They didn't think of it either, but also come on guys you should have realised
#fnaf security breach#roxanne wolf#fnaf cassie#fnaf ruin#'dad help! me and roxy are trapped under the pizzaplex!' cassie says before immediately Realising 'wait no uh- I mean yes we are but uhhhh-#roxy takes over and she's like 'hey doofus cassie's hurt get over here' and this does not help at all#she swears and he's like '....... well I dont THINK Mimic can swear... but if its mimicking Roxy then.......'#HE DOESN'T KNOW!!! HE CAN'T TELL!!!#does he just GO there??? where there's MAYBE a murderbot on the loose???#like he PROBABLY should if the security is down just to get that back online but. this is not a good sign.#this feels like a very much bad idea. like. hm. maybe that's not the best plan if he wants to keep breathing. I dunno.#but also he hasn't seen Cassie all day where the hell is she?? she actually COULD be there maybe???#he's just trying to think of a way for them to prove this is real and it's not going great and roxy maybe isn't helping#she's like 'dumbass why WOULDNT Mimic know that?!' and he's like 'FUCK YOU'RE RIGHT' while Cassie just wants to smack her#does it matter if he doesn't realise what Mimic would and wouldn't know if he comes and helps them??? no!! no it doesn't!!! shush!!!#eventually he probably just calls one of the other techs that know about this and keeps them on the line while he goes to the plex to see#shitting bricks the whole time and hey whaddya know! it's fine! roxy and cassie meet him in the atrium or something!#and HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THESE TWO??!!!!#it's a whole thing lmao anyway that's what's been bouncing around on and off in my head lately!! enjoy that!!
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#maybe im becoming a lil more petty asa person or something idk#but my manager will make some kinda snide comment about me not managing my team better#and im just sitting here thinking of all the ways i would be uniquely capable of making his work life hell#too many processes and too many features that im the only one who understands#our biggest marketing push rn is dependent on one of my projects i could torpedo this shit rn#it would not be difficult to work around a test case to introduce a bug i know wont be caught until it hits production#if i just bounced no one else understands our regulatory reporting shit#if i was really in a ‘burn it all down fuck consequences’ state of mind i could do a lot more#lemme just start deleting customer database. dropping tables. whoops everyones account balance got reset to $0 howd that happen#woah this place lost all its data the day they’re scheduled to be audited! what are the odds!!!
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meow
#ok uhhh hi. yeah im back from the strike but as of now i'm still gonna be away from my blog more?#ive been going out more and more lately with family and friends for vacation and i haven't had time to sit down and do my stuff#i also finally have a laptop - i'm very happy about this! i was worried i wasn't going to get a laptop before college and I hadn't been-#- starting commissions lately but its been covered now and im very lucky!#ive been focused on preparing my characters for artfight too - got some friends to join and added more characters#so I don't know if i can continue to be active here? hard to say but just saying hello again!#i COULD post my new refs that i made for artfight#i still have to go out tomorrow - i think i have a stuffed schedule ahead of me...#yesterday we went to the arcades with my friend who finally came to visit + a new family friend who joined us#and today we watched inside out 2 in the cinema w them. (really good movie - i cried haha)#ahh but yeah. yeah. stuff. Stuff.#everytime id come home from the hangouts id be too tired to do my thing and end up sleeping 😭#~ rambling#so as of now im just bouncing around discord with close friends#my old computer that has stayed with us for years is gonna retire soon since i got my laptop#i just have to transfer all my files in it and archive it somewhere else
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Had sleep paralysis for the first time since getting long covid, and damn is there an interaction between sleep paralysis and chronic fatigue? Genuine question, I feel really weird even several hours later and I'm curious
#different type of fatigue and cognitive affect than in a usual PEM#its kinda fucked up my day lol#chronic fatigue#me/cfs#sleep paralysis#long covid#asking for feedback in case there are people here who have experienced this too#before i became disabled from covid i used go bounce back from sleep paralysis pretty fasg#i would feel tired and out of it for a couple hours but it didnt affect me that much physically i could still go on with my day#today im like. oof. just moving around is hard ahah#but its not the usual PEM fatigue bc i can still walk and move i just feel exhausted before and after not during the movement as much#fatigue is so hard to describe uh#i also feel like i havent fully woken up tbh which again used to only last an hour or two max
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i hope we get more info about queen buzzbeamer because im sooo intrigued by her. she brings up implications. the fact that shes protesting/breaking away from a workplace that (allegedly) is exploiting her & her coworkers, and that shes popular enough with said coworkers to actually pull off a riot makes her seem.. not that bad?? like shes just an exploited worker leading a protest (albeit a leader who is seemingly.. quite cocky. and quick to blow things up. though i dont blame her for the latter since i think most exploited workers end up wanting to blow something up lol)
theres also the fact that she seemingly has nothing to do with n&q? so there would be no reason to fight her? most of the others have at least some reason to be fighting (or have beef with) n&q- pinhead seems to be the leader of most of the criminals in comet city so its likely they simply butt heads often; pokie i think just wants quasar dead, but it could also be to protect her planet's 'core' as mentioned in the unused takes video.. whatever that means; cephla i dont have a solid reasoning for but she could be trying to capture quasar due to her infatuation; guardian could be fighting against her will, maybe either due to malfunction or old dormant code; junkbot is obviously a guard bot made to fight intruders; and ill be honest mayor grimm doesnt seem to have a reason either, but from what we've seen about his general personality so far, he may just want to fuck with them for funsies lol.
so its like... why are we fighting queen buzzbeamer. does stonecold actively control/manage the woodworks she works at? why would he?? hes currently running a different business in an entirely different field of work. did n&q get caught in the crossfire of the rioting and decide to get payback? it would just make the two seem petty as hell. maybe theres a better possibility im not thinking of but imo.. it seems n&q have just decided to start shit.
bonus thought. the fact that protesting a workplace is put in such a bad light here (even with supposedly good reason to) brings up... interesting possibilities to how lightyeargames works as a company. is it fucking propaganda (for lack of a better term, but you get the gist: trying to portray the act of rebelling against higher powers as inherently bad, as to try and quell inside discontent). maybe the development hell NAQ1 went through was influenced by bad working conditions as well as general mismanagement?
anyways would fighting queen buzzbeamer mean n&q are on some level union busters.
#sorry random naq analysis post jumpscare. this has been bouncing around in my head for a little bit...#nebula and quasar#its most likely all this analysis is going to immediately be disproven just because we have so little to go off of for her right now#and the reason we have no reason to fight her currently is simply because it hasnt been revealed yet#but whatever. this is my house and im locking the door behind you. YOU'RE stuck in here with ME.#anyways. i like queen buzzbeamer :) she probably deserves to blow things up i think
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