#its just. a really important time in my life ill never get to experience the way i did then

[medicasino]

i literally cannot wait until there is actually other life sim games like the sims that are actually publicly available to play!!! like Tiny Life is out now and i do definitely want to play it but... come 2024 we might have Life by You and perhaps Vivaland in our hands... also i am Really Really awaiting Paralives as well i am PRAYING for a release date to be announced. like i will exercise as much patience as i can but tbh ts4 is depriving me (i only have base game + my first pet stuff + desert luxe kit so i dont have 95% of the gameplay i want .) and i would love to just be able to have something else to play too??

[xefros-tritoh]

just listened to The Update Song by Allegra Rosenberg for the first time and im genuinely about to start crying over it. it reminds me so much about the earlier days of the hs fandom, and i really miss that time in my life where i was reading homestuck for the first time. its such a life changing thing in a way i cant explain

[phagodyke]

see I get its abt repression and letting that bury u alive but theres still time it doesnt have to be like this etc !! and it does that powerfully. but I've just. never been repressed or closeted in that specific kind of sense. dysphoria has never manifested like that for me... I kind of feel like social pressures esp gender related ones didn't exert the same force on me growing up that they did on a lot of ppl I know (and still don't now) bc I never fully understood them or was excluded for various reasons. but man. fucking rough for ppl who did/do still feel that way 💔

[noxlysium]

Why Jean is so important to me

Welcome to my insane ramblings, enjoy your stay (or don't). Most of this is also very self-indulgent, by the way. Warning: Mentions of abuse, alcoholism, mental illness, self-destructive thoughts I'd also like to remind you that this isn't me justifying Jean's behavior in any way, he's a fucking asshole and doesn't know how to handle Harry, or himself. They're both flawed individuals and that's okay. This is just me talking about my own experiences. Now that we got that out of the way, let's get to the actual thing.

I'm not even sure where to start. When I first found out Jean had clinical depression, I immediately felt a connection. It's relatable. Very relatable, in fact. I myself have been depressed for years. It all started at a young age, I was about 13, but due to trauma it could be very much earlier than that. I don't remember much from my childhood because most of it are bad memories. I'm 21 now and still going through a lot of shit, so it's been about 8 years. Jean strikes me as a guy who has been fucked over his entire life, no matter where he goes or what he does. It always comes back to him. After I have finished DE for the first time and looked more into the lore of Jean and Harry, I started to notice the similarities between the relationship with him and Harry, and the relationship with me and my own parents.

I know what alcohol does to people, I've seen it all. And it's not great for either parties. I'm stuck in a repetitive cycle of wanting to help someone to get better, only to realize that they don't want to get better and then I start building hope again. Rinse and repeat. I know I cannot change them. But I keep hoping for a change anyway, and get upset when it never comes. Of course it doesn't. No matter what I've tried. I have tried so many times. I'm a fucking hypocrite because I sometimes drink as well. I don't want to become like them. I drink for fun every once in a while and try to not over-do it, because every time I touch alcohol, something in the back of my mind tells me I'm becoming like my father. I thought about smoking a few times, but I don't want to destroy myself like my mother does. I'm really fucking scared of smoking and its consequences. Which is funny, because I should be as scared when it comes to alcohol, but I'm not. They both drink every day at 3 pm, after work. Every single day.

And it has been like this for years. Nothing has ever changed. A few months ago I had an actual discussion with my parents. We usually never have these sort of conversations (That's the issue, by the way. A very big lack of communication. Does that ring any bells?) and I was actually surprised when they told me they wanted to lay off the alcohol. I tried to approach the topic carefully and even offered them help (therapy etc.) but.. they also didn't want that. They straight up told me they don't need help. Which is really fucking frustrating because I want them to understand that they do, but they don't care.

I know change is really fucking hard and I've been there, but my parents had so many opportunities to change and never took them. Nothing has changed for so many years and I'm tired of it. I'm waiting for a change to happen but I know it's never coming anyway. I'm tired, mad, disappointed. That's how Jean feels about Harry, he just doesn't know how to help him and is an ass about it. And I'm just letting it happen, because there's nothing else I can do. I'm watching them destroy themselves every day and it fucking hurts. Something in me still feels a tiny flame of hope, when in reality that flame is already extinguished. I want people to understand, my father really fucking reminds me of Harry. The emotional abusive, the physical abuse, the alcoholism, the sexist remarks.. It just screams Harry. Especially given with how he had been around people Pre-Martinaise, which I have read in the game inside the damaged ledger. The fact that I love Harry to a certain degree says a lot of things.

The marriage between my parents is like if Dora never left Harry, and it's fucking awful.

-

That is mostly why I can relate to Jean so much. There's also some smaller things and I'll get to those now.

He fucking sucks at feelings. You can see it with the way he's trying to handle Harry, and it's not working.. Which, yeah. I suck at those too.

He likes to hide his sadness underneath a layer of cynicism and sarcasm as a coping method.. I do this all the fucking time.

Let's face it, this man is a fucking nervous wreck. He picks at his facial hair and displays a lot more habits like that, like him fixing his clothes (even though they look clean, according to one of the skills in the game), running his hand through his hair.. I do this without even realizing it.

He's depressed and fucking empty on the inside. He most likely hasn't felt real love from anyone or for himself in years. He needs therapy (lots of it), anti-depressants and a hug.. And I know what that feels like. I know it too well.

Lastly, he's a fucking mess. Like in every single way imaginable.. Again, very relatable.

Jean is such an amazing character for me to project on, to relate to and to find comfort in. I'm glad they made him fucked up, because that's what I love about him. He has so many flaws and I love every single one of them. He's in the game for like 15 minutes or less, but the impact he's had on me is insane. I've had a fair share of characters I would obsess over, but Jean hits different.

I'm so glad Jean-Heron Vicquemare exists, because I wouldn't know where I would be if I never met him. I want to thank my lovely friend (who is not on here, but I'm still saying it because I care about him a lot) for gifting me this amazing game.

And I want to thank you for reading this mess of a post.

If you have made it this far, I want to show you one last thing.

[necroromantics]

So it’s not Toby I headcanon with BP, it’s Jeff. And it’s kinda the reason why I feel hesitant to write him. I’ve been reading up on stuff recently about BP and how to write characters with the condition, but I was wondering if you had any tips? I don’t want to contribute to any misinformation.

ALL ABOUT BIPOLAR DISORDER + WRITING IT

Warning. This is a very very very long post. LMAO

Ok so when it comes to writing any character, you need to understand that they aren't a real person, they're a storytelling device. They don't really work on the same logic systems of reality like we do in the real world. So when you're writing a character with things like mental health issues, it's important to view it as "How does this contribute to my story" or "How does this fit into the unique logistics of my stories reality"

But in order to bend (not break) the rules when it comes to portraying mental health issues, you need to first know the rules, and then work to weaving that framework of the real world into your fictional world/character.

For example, my OC Tobin has bipolar disorder, but it doesn't really come up in the Creepedverse story cuz it just doesn't fit in as a storytelling device. In reality, throughout the story, Tobin would have at least an episode or two over the course of the year the plot takes place. An important thing to consider is how a characters mental health issues contribute to the story you wanna tell. And if it doesn't, its ok for it to just be a lil side thing you know about.

Now for actual information on Bipolar Disorder (which is shortened to BD, NOT BPD. BPD is a completely separate disorder called "borderline personality disorder", they are very different though people constantly mix them up due to terminology similarities)

There are two main types of bipolar disorder that someone may be diagnosed with, (theres also cyclothymia which is like diet bipolar with hypomania/mild depression, and schizoaffective bipolar which is like schizophrenia and bipolar mixed, but Im not getting into those today). When writing a character with BD, its very important to note how the disorder actually effects them. Remember, a disorder is something that causes a person significant dysfunction and impairment in their day to day life. It negatively impacts them in many ways such as personal distress, their relationships, job, finances, etc.

Bipolar Type 1: The requirement for being diagnosed with type 1 is the presence of an episode of extremely high energy/moods that lasts more than a week, OR ends up being so severe the person gets hospitalized. This lengthy period of high moods is called a manic episode, which Ill get into later. You only need to have experienced one manic episode to qualify for a bipolar diagnosis. Thats why you can only experience mania if you are bipolar, cuz the moment you're manic, you fit the bill for bipolar type 1. Make sense? Most, but not all, people with type 1 also experience periods of extremely low energy/moods called a depressive episode. These lows are not required for a diagnosis, but they are very prevalent. They may last weeks to months. The main thing about type 1 bipolar is the manic episodes they experience that cause them significant distress in life.

Bipolar Type 2: Type 2 is diagnosed if someone experiences a hypomanic episode that lasts more than 4 days, AND a depressive episode (not at the same time, but within the same year). Hypomania is a mild form of typical mania. If someone experiences extreme mania, they will be diagnosed with type 1, never type 2. In type 2, its the depressive episodes that cause a person the most distress, while in type 1 its the mania. Depressive episodes are typically more severe and last longer in this type, and the hypomanic episodes are typically mild and short-lived enough for a person to not even notice theres a problem there. Both hypomanic and depressive episodes are required for this diagnosis.

Now you know the two different common presentations of bipolar, but you need to understand exactly what a bipolar episode looks like. The WORST thing you can do is to misinterpret them simply as mood swings. In reality, its more like a merry-go-round where youll drop and stay down for awhile, or youll go up and stay up for awhile, or youll just relax in the middle without any ups/downs for a bit.

Manic Episodes: Manic episodes are only prevalent in type 1 bipolar. A common misconception is that you can experience mania without bipolar disorder, but that isnt true. Mania is the hallmark feature of BD, so it isnt associated or experienced with any other disorder. It isnt a symptom, its a defining feature. But what are the symptoms of a manic episode? Remember that mania is very severe, and causes significant impairment in someones life, often the person ends up hospitalized. The common symptoms are a lack of sleep (~0-2 hours), very high moods/euphoria, racing thoughts, talking very fast and often not making sense to others, and taking dangerous risks/being impulsive/irresponsible without any sense of judgement or forethought. Mania presents differently in a lot of people, but generally its like very very high energy coursing through your mind and body to the point you feel like youre zooming or gonna explode, jittery. You might laugh a bunch at nothing, act very erratic, irritable, say shocking or distasteful things cuz you cant slow down enough to even think about what youre saying. You might ruin relationships, scare people, quit your job/get fired, get into trouble with the law, drain your bank account. Psychosis is also something people may experience with mania, such as delusions (grandeur ones commonly) and hallucinations. You might feel like you're completely untouchable, overly confident, like youre the king of the world. Its like everything is moving in hyperspeed, your body, your thoughts, your mouth, and its pretty overwhelming. Very commonly, a person in a manic episode doesn't realize they're in a manic episode. They might question it, but they brush it off as "its fine, I feel good" or "this is just how I am" or "Im not manic Im just in a good mood"

Hypomanic Episodes: Hypomania is like mania in the sense that the person experiences high energy/moods. The main difference is that hypomania is mild, and not severe enough to require hospitalization or immediate psychiatric treatment. Type 1 may experience hypomanic episodes as well as manic episodes, but this is not required for that diagnosis. In type 2, hypomanic episodes are required. In a hypomanic episode, someone might suddenly be very happy and social, they may get very productive in life, optimistic, and a bit eccentric. Due to the high energy, you don't feel as if you need as much sleep to function (~3-4 hours), and you might begin to talk a lot, overshare, ramble, go on nonsensical tangents. You might get more irritable and antsy. Risky and irresponsible behaviour is common too, such as impulsive decisions without regard for consequence, carelessly spending money, high sex drive/unsafe sex, etc. Cuz hypomania isnt as extreme as typical mania, most people dont even realize when they are hypomanic, its very often brushed off by being in a good, productive mood, or that a person is simply extroverted, or energetic. Bipolar people tend to have unhealthy relationships with both manic and/or hypomanic episodes, almost glamorizing the high moods they experience, especially during depressive episodes.

Depressive Episodes: Depressive episodes are a period of extremely low energy/moods. They typically last longer than mania, ranging from weeks to months. Sometimes a short period of depressive symptoms occurs right after a manic episode called a "crash", but this doesn't necessarily mean its a depressive episode. Bipolar depression is typically regarded as a bit different from typical depression, due to the nature of the disorder. The common symptoms are hopelessness, oversleeping, fatigue/tiredness, slow thinking, lack of concentration, irritability, feeling worthless/bleak, and a loss of passion/interest in things. Its like the other side of the same spectrum as mania, with similar changes such as appetite, sleep patterns, energy levels, irritability, etc, just in different ways. Depressive episodes can cause someone to socially isolate, or experience suicidal thoughts. You might feel more emotionally sensitive, or like nothing will ever get better. Its like suddenly a filter of hopelessness, negativity, and sadness gets put over your brain and eyes, and the world loses its colour, and everything sucks so bad all you wanna do is lay in bed and rot. It feels physically heavy, like youre dragging weights. When manic you might feel very fast and light, when depressive you might feel very slow and heavy.

Mixed Episodes: A lesser known episode that may be experienced is a mixed episode. Any type can experience this type of episode, but it is not required or considered for any diagnosis. Its sort of like something that happens instead of something thats a hallmark feature of bipolar. In a mixed episode, someone will experience both symptoms of depression and mania at the same time, or in rapid succession/back and forth in short bursts. This is typically regarded as the most distressing and severe episode to have because of the combination of both episodes. You might feel like your thoughts are racing, or like youre going crazy, but at the same time youre so tired you cant get out of bed. You might feel very very energized, but have thoughts that youre hopeless and worthless. You might laugh, and then start crying, like youre being shot up into space and then thrown into the bottom of the ocean. You might feel very jittery, but a pain in your chest, or an exhaustion you cant shake. You might also experience a burst of joy, laughter, very high energy where youre talking super fast and speaking nonsense and acting erratically, and then immediately you start to feel very sad and slowed down, like everything hurts, and is meaningless. Mixed episodes are very painful to deal with, because youre being constantly thrown around, and you cant get a grip. Rates of suicide are higher during these periods. Not everyone with bipolar may experience mixed episodes, and it will present differently for everyone. It may last a couple days to even weeks.

So theres a rundown for the different episodes. To write a bipolar character, think about the type of bipolar they have/how it presents, and then think about how their episodes may impact them contextually. If a character is manic at a certain point in your story, what actions may they take, or thoughts, or interactions, that will show this? Can the people around them tell when theyre in an episode? What gives it away? What behaviour cues show their episodes? For me personally, my fiancee can always tell when Im in an episode, cuz of my eyes/behaviour. She says my eyes get more wide and sorta erratic looking when Im manic and I move around very quickly like Im restless, and when Im depressive, my eyes get more heavy/tired looking and I move very slowly and less expressive. Remember that someones episodes, especially mania, will have an impact on the people/world around them, not just internally, it causes issues externally as well. Someone might cause a lot of destruction or drama or get into fights when theyre manic and impulsive, they might do crazy or ambitious shit just to drop it, they might socially isolate and sleep all day when depressed, or not show up to work or school.

Another thing to consider is the persons cycle. This is how many episodes a person experiences in a year. If they have proper treatment, they may experience ~0-2 episodes a year, if not, they may experience ~1+ a year, typically in the 2-4 range. This means that someone who is treated with the proper medication may not experience any episodes at all, or they might experience milder, shorter lived episodes a couple times a year. Someone who isnt treated is very susceptible to experiencing more extreme and lengthy episodes, and more often in a year.

Rapid Cycling is when someone with bipolar experiences one episode after another. So they might be manic for a week or so, and then immediately experience a depressive episode right after for like a month, and then back to being manic. Typically, someone with bipolar will experience plenty of time in a year in between their episodes without any significant manic/depressive symptoms, like periods of stability.

Triggers for a bipolar episode are usually lack of sleep, stress, alcohol/drug use, and even changes of seasons or life events can trigger a high/low in someone. Everyone has their own unique triggers that is important to recognize when it comes to treatment and preventing episodes. Think about the triggers your character might have, and what they might be exposed to in your story that could cause this. Episodes may come on as a gradual up/down climb, or very suddenly.

Thats really all I got for information on bipolar. The biggest issue I see is just the way people write bipolar episodes as mood swings. It's not being happy and then suddenly really angry or sad, its not changing your mind really quick, or suddenly switching up. Its moreso long periods of high/low energy. Thats why I say "episodes" instead of "mood swings", cuz its not a mood swing at all, its very literally just random periods where you'll experience an episode of mania or depression. The classic "mood swings"/switching up thing is more closely related to borderline personality disorder which is VERY different from bipolar, despite them being mixed up so often.

This was very long but feel free to send in more asks if you need any specifics. I just tried to cover all bases cuz its good to know what youre working with before you work with it.

[ender-cloud]

That new TGS update made me physically ill holy shit! Spoilers under cut

I feel like we all knew that this would happen but I wasn’t actually ready for it, Like god Lanyon you truly were screwed over

THIS MADE ME LIKE AGAHBAGWGAVEVS!!!

Also after this the “I wanted to be the person you needed me to be” makes me just feel so agshabaggas JEKYLLLL!!! It broke my heart and im still not ok.

Even after jekyll admitted it was him Lanyon still wanted to find an excuse how it couldn’t be at first and it’s just like, Lanyon! You can’t be doing this to me man!

Also, just, Jekyll saying that Hyde was a mistake is a punch to the gut, because i get how he can think that but Hyde is still like a part of Jekyll he separated from himself! Does he think that part of himself was a mistake? Or does he think that ever separating Hyde from him was a mistake? Because these two things can have very different meanings.

If he thinks that part of himself was a mistake: he hates a part of himself that he cant control which is something a lot of people experience but its still not ideal, But its also Fucked up, Because Hyde has become his own person and Jekyll is acting like he Dosent exist, like Hyde can’t hear all of this

But on the other hand if he thinks it was a mistake separating Hyde from himself might mean that he can see that maybe it would be better if he still had that part with him and this shows his growth from who he used to be. Finally realizing that it still makes him, him, again something some people need to overcome in real life.

Though it is most likely the first option but i can only hope its the second

I know that Lanyon’s reaction is probably the most important but I really want to see Jaspers and Rachels reactions too because we havent even gotten a glimpse of them in the background and it’s just heightening my curiosity, because Rachel was close to both of them so she’s the one im most interested in after Lanyon.

ANYWAY! BACK TO THE PAIN!!!

Im going to be honest i think Lanyon is valid for this because yes it has been 2 years and He and Jekyll have been friends for long enough to where you would have this trust base relationship.

Also they just got together romantically which would fuck up Lanyons mind even more. Like way to go Jekyll breaking the foundation of trust in a relationship in your first day of being in one. I can see how he might feel like his feelings are being played with, Hyde would avoid him, and ive been mentioning this so often but like if someone you thought was your friend and they had an Alter ego that avoided you wouldnt you be hurt?

I feel like im shitting on Jekyll a lot, and I don’t mean to because I like Jekyll!! Dont get me wrong!!! But you have to admit that it is his fault, he’s not always the victim, its the people around him who’s being affected by his actions. It was Jekyll’s choice to continue to drink the potion, it was Jekyll’s choice not to tell Lanyon, there was no outside force making him do this.

And you can’t say that Hyde was making him continue to drink the potion because for 1; i doubt that in the beginning Hyde would be able to bother him that much only starting out, im sure it was another thing that developed over time with the potions use and 2; as we saw Jekyll could’ve thrown away those potions on his own terms at any time, he didn’t have to make more.

I just wanted to make this known because i feel like it needs to, do i like Jekyll? Yes. Do i feel bad for him? Yes. Do i think he’s the victim in the situation? No, because of the reasons above. But really, I don’t hate Jekyll, and its not like its always his fault, no, but in this situation it was his actions that lead to this.

I got really sidetracked so heres some of the other images i saved because this is getting really long.

Them both crying Makes this so much worse like, these two almost never show their emotions around people, and now in front of everyone they are about to breakdown, it just makes my chest tight, God dammit Sage this Chapter was painful

[juni-ravenhall]

If you take over SSE, what would be your first changes that you make? Like immediate things you want to do?

And what’d be your long term goal, how would you achieve it?

- ro-sso

this is the best ask ever thank u but u might not be prepared for this essay........ sorry :3

first off id need to find out exactly who are the current ppl for game director, art director, etc direction positions, and who of them are making the crazy decisions. is it directors and managers, is it the CEO, etc. ofc there might be many parts in this chain from an uncaring CEO down to a confused director down to a struggling game designer down to a coder/writer/artist that doesnt get enough time and resources, like, i understand its a complex chain but that doesnt change the fact that someone (or several) have been fucking shit up for all of sse's history. so i would do a lot of talking to staff respectfully and finding out whats really been going on in the chain, and who is not working in the best interest of the game's quality and the company's stability. map out where in the company theres the most and least problems.

(this to me is easy, im analytical and resistant to lies and manipulation as a person. i see through shit very easily and i have a long history of self-studying and analysing stuff related to running companies and making games, since thats my life goal... so to some ppl it might sound like "thats harder than you think" bc theyre just not me. some ppl arent passionate about running good healthy ethical game companies - i am!)

sse clearly has basically never had good directors with good direction, or if they did, those werent given enough power and resources. they shouldnt have been changing artstyle several times, they shouldnt have been abandoning storylines and areas, they shouldnt have been ignoring bugs in general, they shouldnt have been ignoring bugs and cheats in racing and champs, etc. so, its very important to get a good game director, art director, and so on, in place, whether its an existing staff member who just needs more power and resources, or its someone new who is a good fit.

then ofc take a look at all staff hired and see what everyone is there for. after the layoffs im not sure if they have many passive workers left but id get an overview and do some interviews w staff to find out how the efficiency situation is and if more/less ppl are needed in diff areas to actually pay ppl to work on the game itself. (as an example mb u need one less social media person and one more programmer, one less team manager consultant or other middleclass word salad jobs... etc.)

then overview of salary differences. this is a huge point to me. was the CEO that im assumably taking the job from, earning a lot more than everyone else a month? then thats not happening anymore. all salaries within the company would become more balanced, setting in place a system where the minimum salary and max salary at the company are tied together in a ratio so that to raise the top u must also raise the bottom. this will instantly lower much of the top and assumably raise some at the bottom (how much, i dont know from the outside). this ratio system would be clearly outlined and from now on a pillar of the company's structure. also, check that skilled senior staff has appropriate pay for their experience, etc, make sure salaries seem fair.

along with this ofc a good overview of costs, loans, earnings, the current office and all of this to know the situation. i think thats obvious but ill say it anyway to be clear. have a complete grasp of the economic situation, talk to the economics staff.

with staff interviews and salary checkups it would also be relevant to see if theres any gold star workers who should shift up in positions, for example a very good animator could become lead animator, stuff like this. sse has already done things like this fairly often (sometimes maybe not with the right people) so im not too worried about it but i would do another check. also just general talk w staff to find out who has hidden potential that might not be getting used. (i want to know my workers and be able to help them shine, this is good both for the workers, the work environment, and the company results.)

at this point, we should have balanced out some of the leaking money at the top (and hopefully made a few leeches jump ship while at it), boosted the happiness within the company (balanced salaries etc), and have a great overview of whats going on from the more economic and hierarchy standpoint. we should have gotten rid of some potential leeching staff that didnt actually help create a good product and run a healthy, ethical company, and we might have gotten new people in positions where we needed more skills (direction, programming, whatnot). compared to sse's 10+ years of being a chaotic mess, the company structure should look pretty good now, even if not perfect.

i would have a lot of talk with the directors and team leaders and senior staff to make sure everyone is on the same page from now on: we are making a good quality game, we are being consistent, we are not adding new random shit just bc ooh shiny or cashgrabs, we are going to impress the players and make them feel "oh god, finally sso is consistent and living up to its potential". everyone at the company needs to understand this goal and why the loyal players are disappointed with the game. there will still be new horses and item recolors etc ofc, we do need a certain degree of "ooh shiny" from the player side of things (hopefully good gameplay and good stories would also be ooh shiny though), but there needs to be a new focus on the Actual core and Actual pillars of the game, which sse failed to do bc they have bad direction.

most likely, we would change the weekly update into bi-weekly or monthly, maybe starting with bi-weekly to test the waters. in order to deliver a good quality main storyline and also good quality stories and updates to tie up loose ends, there needs to be enough time to do that. there would be very solid goals on the cadence at which major updates are released and no long stretches of time without main story, and no long stretches without other significant updates.

an important part of that is also the seasonal events - i think the 4 seasons of events is a good thing, but they need to be properly bug fixed and have some design and writing improvements, one new fun (more challenging) race for each of them, etc. so hopefully we can afford enough staff that we have a few ppl working on updating and finalising the 4 seasonal events to their more or less final form.

each seasonal event needs to have a cool and challenging race (similar to cloud kingdom rainbow race or some other recent races) that HAS A HIGHSCORE BOARD. this is a key thing to me. all event races should have highscore boards (and some crappy event races may be removed, or combined into a better version of all of them together). *everyone* playing would be able to just better their own score for a generic gold/silver/bronze score, which gives specific rewards for reaching the medal score on the event race(s), and those who are at the top of the leaderboard among everyone, would get a non-exclusive prize, like 1000js. its not a huge win - not to encourage cheating to get to the top - and mostly based in the existing "daily best" system. it would still encourage players to actually try their best at the event races and feel like there's some stakes in it. (active human moderation of suspicious race results is also necessary - we should be able to afford that now.) i also think, if someone has won the daily best, they should then not be able to get the daily best for at least another week, leaving place for other people... but this becomes a problem with alt accounts, so it needs more consideration, i dont have the full answer to that yet.

also, all the tack and clothes need a stats overhaul. the random top stats we currently have are stupid and they seem like they just didnt think about this at all. this is partially a dress up game, so you need to be able to dress up cute and still have top stats and be able to win champs. if possible, i would set staff to work on letting you upgrade any piece of equipment to max stats (which would be something like 5-10 in each stat i guess). this system might require starcoins to upgrade - a way for the company to earn money from cosmetic changes, that seems fair enough to me. (maybe there would be a way to pay with shillings and collectables, but just an easier way to pay with sc, it would be considered.)

we'd also need to sit down and take a good look at what all horses stats are, which horses seem to be boosted or nerfed in races for no reason, and make sure all horses at least function fairly and as intended. after that, to consider whether you should be able to train all horses to have the same max stats, or if we want to keep breeds unique and different, then those differences should also be well thought out and actually matter. right now, and for a long time, some horses are just better at races than others (pintabian, etc), and some (ardennes) seem to be shit for no real reason (other draft horses dont necessarily have the same problem). so it needs to be properly looked at and fixed so all horses at least have good reasons to be different, if they are different at all, and no bugs or unintended boosts and nerfs. horse stats should make sense for gameplay.

all the champs need to get their updated forms, so i also hope we could afford enough staff to have a few ppl working on updating the champs consistently until thats done. i do think a lot of sso's races also should be overhauled, because racing is the main gameplay we actually have (collecting light in hollow woods is not challenging and not really gameplay) and it should be satisfying, fun, and challenging, like playing a mariokart race (that doesnt mean it should play *like* a mariokart race, just that it needs to be fun). the highscore boards and the gold/silver/bronze medal systems are really, really neglected assets of sso's player motivation. if getting a gold medal score on a race was consistently actually difficult and required practice, and getting that gold medal also gave you a good reward (shillings, items) that motivated you to aim for it, then players might actually have fun challenging themselves for higher scores! the same goes for daily best / etc scores that should be looked into, what rewards they give, etc.

also, there should be a ban on adding any new npcs to the game if theyre not extremely necessary. sse has been adding new npcs left and right all the time, and it just clogs the game with random irrelevant characters that dont add anything to the game, it takes time and resources to make their model, give them a name, write their dialogue, and so on. instead, focus all that energy on actual relevant npcs and ones that players want to talk to and find out more about, hear their storylines, etc, and let races be handled with either existing npcs or with new and improved highscore board objects (make it obvious you click them to start the race).

of course, the art style of sso should never again change. art direction from now on is consistent and solid with an art director who understands their job, lead artists and lead animators who 100% understand what the goals are. directors who make sure that the quality of art, design, animation are up to the standards of the style we are using, that things fit together in the game. new models should not actually be "better" than the old ones - you end up in a destructive cycle where the art keeps changing. the style should be consistent with only relatively minor refinements over time. so, the art directors and leads need to make sure the style continues to be consistent, and update things that need to be. (im not sure how many areas of sso should really get the complete overhauls like silverglade village anymore - at some point you're also wasting resources on something less important than the gameplay and story, but some areas also look really outdated, so careful consideration needs to go into which areas to update and *how* to update them. maybe jarlaheim doesnt need a complete overhaul but a partial one. etc.)

the gen 4 horse needs to have very solid planning before release, which seems to have been the case so far from the little ive heard about it. if players can finally get a more custom horse with custom markings, mane and tail styles (preferrably available across breeds), and ability to pick coat, mane and tail colours separately, i think this would be great. it also relates to the whole thing with horse stats and just making sure that horses function properly and have reasons to actually have different stats and such, if theyre going to have that.

there also needs to be a decision made about sso's future - specifically, should we keep developing this game on this crappy messy engine for another decade, or should we eventually say, "this is sso 1, and we're finished with it (the story is finished, game isnt buggy, etc)" - and then go on to create a new game (while still keeping sso 1 running!) on a new, modern engine, where there is good direction and good planning from the very beginning? i dont know how far they got with project curie before cancelling it, whether theres much work to salvage, but i think that creating a new horse mmo set in jorvik (curie was supposedly not a horse game) as a more or less "sso 2" is a fair idea. the potential of customisable gen 4 horses might not really be that relevant for sso 1, or customisable player character faces and bodies like the sims. maybe this is stuff that should be in sso 2 from the very beginning, rather than patches trying to fix the mess that is the current sso? i think a lot of players wouldve been happier to see the old avatars and stuff remain in sso 1 and see the new, current artstyle we have be a separate game as sso 2 instead. (runescape classic etc.)

so, i would want to very carefully consider what really should be in sso 1 versus if we should be making sso 2. its possible to decide, actually we do want to just keep updating sso 1 and make it the best it can be, to basically keep adding expansions to it. but even if we decide that, the thing is, its hard to save the original story at this point due to the careless updates that have already been made for years. my question is, is it possible to give the loyal, old players a satisfying ending to this story and these characters' stories and this world's lore, within the current state of sso? or is it just too far gone off the track? so this needs to be carefully considered. maybe sso 2 could be a sort of remake of the story, starting with elements based on SSL, rather than the haphazard "uh these girls saved the world a while ago and now youre here i guess" that sso did start with. maybe its not too late to give the loyal long term players a satisfying end to the story. but its a complex issue that needs a lot of thought. (which should never have happened! the story shouldnt have changed the way it did, things shouldnt have been abandoned randomly, added randomly, changed randomly, all of this is just bad shitty direction and management without respect to the players, which is especially frustrating bc it goes right into "girl gamers dont matter, girl games dont matter,".)

there are more things, like a weather system, that i would have loved to see in sso but ultimately might be better to save for sso 2. or maybe sso keeps going with major updates and major expansions and then it would be relevant to consider for sso. the same thing for customising our home stable, getting a player home to customise, there are lots of fun ideas like this that i could talk about but that ultimately im not sure how much time and resources should be sunk into when sse have chosen to fuck themselves over for this long and caused this many problems with the game that need immediate attention to make it playable and enjoyable. so in this... essay... i focused mostly on solving problems and making the game a solid and fun experience, and what to prioritise to keep it that way, while these bonus new content like weather or customisable horses or customisable player faces/bodies and all that, would be great updates (or sso 2) but have to come as a bonus when everything else is under control.

so yeah thats covering both a lot of immediate stuff and long term considerations. this is like, a fraction of the stuff i've thought about. i have a lot more to say about a lot of things to fix in sso and other things that have to do with running companies too. and ofc theres a lot of things i just cant know from the outside, and so on, im not a perfect person who knows everything and never pretend to be (i have to say this bc ppl like projecting things on me just for being confident in my skills). getting to take over sse would still be a learning curve with finding out exactly where the problems are and how to solve them. i view this realistically. there are always unknown variables and things i'll have to figure out when i get to it, but you can do that if you have a strong core and strong direction that wont be swayed by capitalism or ooh shiny. i just know a lot about prioritising and directing and about ways to run healthier, better companies, and ways to be ethical and create good products instead of cash grabs - and i also value the skills and knowledge of others, which matters in finding the right people to work in the right positions. these are specific interests i have and spend a lot of time thinking about, analysing, studying, practising, etc.

if you or anyone else actually read all of this (im shocked) and want to discuss more about it or have questions about it, im all ears :D

[iventig]

“A new recruit? What do we would need a newbie for?”

“Soap, there's no use questioning it,the decision has been made months ago.Now quit bothering me.” Price is truly annoyed. Ever since he broke the news to his team,Soap has not stopped asking about why, when, how and for what reason this new teammate will arrive to the taskforce.

“Okay,Okay,I get it at least tell us where they’re from,I mean we need to work with them at the very best of our abilities and-“

“Johnny”

Finally, freedom and peace arrived in the menacing form of Lieutenant Simon “Ghost” Riley. Never, in his years of work had Price thought that peace and Ghost would occur in the same sentence within his thoughts. As he stood just a few meters away from his office,and the peaceful moments that he’d get by just getting through that door, Gaz came from behind.

“Captain,outside is -“

“what time is it Gaz?” Price asked in the most nice and calmest tone he could muster. Inside his chest panic rose, as he reminded himself of today's date. The recruit is coming today at exactly 16:15 pm

“Its 16:13, sir”

“Thanks Kyle, I need all of you to go. To your bunks,or the main hall,or somewhere else. Now.”

“Why?” again, Sergeant soap thought it was a good idea to talk again and so to break the last straw of his captain’s calmness.

“Ghost make sure this nuisance doesn’t get in my way with his stupid mouth today again, or he’ll gets to experience a whole week of outside recruitment training.Understood?”

With that Price turned on his heel and out of the sight of his teammates

“Fucking bloody muppets” he mutters as he made his way outside

“Great job, Soap.Now what?”

“I know we’re all thinking the same. So, Gaz , even if you don’t want to say it, Im going to say it.We’re going to follow him, obviously.”

Soap looked to his brothers, expecting a quick response,but none came.A minute of silence followed.

“Soap,no”

“C’mon L.t, I know you give more fucks about this as you let on,so if nobody’s going to stop me,I’ll be following my Captain.”

With that he to turned in a over dramatic way just as Price did three minutes ago, and got to follow his captain way outside.

“This godforsaken scottish bastard.A’right ill better follow him and get him back before the captain does, if anyone asks for me tell’em i’m dead or drunk. Thanks sergeant Garrick.”

And so Gaz now stood alone in front of his superiors office door , neither knowing how to react to the oder given or the situation that had just occurred, while he simply wanted to inform his captain of the helicopter sighted near the base. So, he decided, he will do as told by both his Lieutenant and Captain Price, staying right where he was and tell anyone who asked that the Captain is on his Period,Ghost is drunk and Sergeant McTavish turned feral.

A rather peaceful start for them, Garrick thought.

In the helicopter, a young man looked down at his wrist, the watch showing exactly 16:14.

In exactly one minute the helicopter should land,he’d get off his seat, take his duffel bag and backpack, depart the helicopter and meet the Task force 141, under command by the British army and the CIA. He would meet his new colleagues and captain, staying with them for a exactly three months before He would be seated in this exact position, back to his home country and comrades.in exactly 45 seconds he would be on time, he thought, in 46 he would be late.

He hated being late, he despised the thought of being where he was supposed to be even a millisecond late.He knew how much could change within a single minute or even second. His time out in the fields made it even mir obvious to him, how important it was to be accountable, accurate and quick. He dreaded the thought of being late, as he knew, the seconds one waste, may be the last of anothers life

How long are thirty seconds really?

He looked down at his watch, he laughed. It was a quick moment of bitter happiness filled by empty thoughts.

29…28….27

The Helicopter landing and the small ruckus of the helicopter as it touched the ground was the only thing he felt.

16:15 exactly on time, Second.

[not-the-citadel-official]

okay, so, we're trying out a new format with this one. instead of screenshots, i'm going to copy paste the messages, for ease of reading.

this one is pretty important to the ongoing plots of @msc137, @presidentpawn, and @primessrick, so i really would recommend reading it! i'm sure a fair amount of this is going to show up later, here on tumblr.

#group-chat

Skittle: said this in #group-chat-2, but i dont think ryan saw it,

there are some people that really muddle the clarity of the whole "anti primess" movement

Primess: Yes thank you for your input Not-Grandson. Don't you have a bar to drink through?

Skittle: yeah im really slacking off on my duties.

Primess: As long as you are aware.

Whatever Effie sees in your pathetic presence we shall never know.

Skittle: i dont know either tbh

Primess: And you still always seek new ways to disappoint her?

Skittle: seems like it. its just a matter of time at this point really

Pawn (in response to Primess): Do you ever shut up? Do you truly lack the capability to acknowledge when nobody wants to hear from you? Are you so desperate for attention that you bring back everything you've already done in order to live out your former "glory" ?

Pawn: You're disgusting. If the only low hanging fruit you can find is scraps from past encounters, you have long since deserved to starve.

Skittle: oh. woah.

Primess: Careful, little Pawn. Your amusement will run its course, and unlike little 'Skittle', who we still find entertaining and will continue surviving our tender mercies. You will find out how unfortunate our games can be to those toys we wish to throw away.

Pawn: I don't play for your amusement. I don't fear you, nor have I been given a true reason to. You are nothing but a parasite, you leech off whatever you can get your hands on and pretend you're the monster. You may be powerful, but that doesn't make up for your weakness in every other place.

Pawn: What you do is none of my business, but it's becoming sad to watch. You're desperate for pieces of past experiments, and they are long past finished. Pretend to be important as long as it makes you feel better, but know your act is transparent.

Skittle: im. i. i think i need a minute. ill be right back.

Primess: ... It is truly quite an accomplishment to render us speechless... But how else are we meant to react when we see a fool attempt to fistfight the Sun. Your pathetic attempts to psychoanalyse us fail as you try to attribute what we do to human natures, little mortal you can not even begin to understand our mind; thinking so otherwise makes you even more adorably naive than every other Morty we see.

Primess: But please. If it makes your pathetic life have some meaning, leap into the maw, try and flail. It only serves to remind us how weak and lowly you truly are.

Pawn: You'll have that connection to humanity forever, whether you like it or not. You may be inhuman, but you started as a Rick, and that will forever your baseline. When stripped of what makes you 'special', you go back to being somebody who can only thrive off of seeing somebody do worse than you. I would say it's sad to watch if anybody cared enough to do so.

Pawn: You're not above as much as you think you are, and the day it happens, I hope to watch you fall much like Icarus. You are beyond your depth, in every way.

Primess: For a moment she watches Pawn in silence. Until a cruel laugh erupts from her throat.

How utterly adorable you are—adorable and insignificant. Be grateful for it. It is the only thing keeping that loveless little fluttery thing in your chest, actually in your chest. For now atleast.

As for your hopes, by all means, pray to non-existent gods and hope to the universe that abandoned you long ago for all you wish. But the way we see it, your dreams are as pointless as you are.

Pawn: My heart keeps beating because I make it so. If you had any say over that, I would bother to watch my tongue around you. I don't respect you, nor do I fear you. Your opinion of me matters less than it does any man I'd see on the side of the road, you're no more than a vulture to me.

Pawn: You aren't to be feared, and you do nothing but act as a fool when you pretend to be as much. You are vermin, the dirt on the cosmic heel.

#mortys-1

Skittle: um, hey. pawn, uh. thanks.

Pawn: Don't thank me.

Pawn: It's not necessary.

Skittle: ...

Skittle: i think it is

Pawn: It's really not.

Pawn: If it... helps, you're welcome.

Skittle: :)

Skittle: i mean. it is necessary. im sure you know how shitty ive been feeling lately. it was, well, it felt really nice for someone to say something to her when she started to dig into me.

Pawn: It's not just you. She needs to be taught what her place is.

Skittle: i know

Pawn: What she pretends to be is far from where she actually stands, and she looks foolish picking on an already ill teenager.

Skittle: still

Pawn: I don't need to be thanked. Others should be standing up when you can't more often.

#group-chat

Primess: Her eyes blaze Oh, poor little toy. Perhaps we were too lenient. Your heart did beat because we allowed you to have it so... Such a pity it won't do so again. At her final word Pawn's heart stops, the agony in his chest is instant.

By our count, you have 20 seconds to beg for your life.

Skittle: shitshitshit pawn it isnt worth it please apologize to her

Primess: By all means little fool die upon the floor then. Perhaps others will learn to hold their tongue

Primess (in reply to Skittle): Once again you get other people hurt Not-Grandson

Skittle: please please dont kill him

Skittle: please

Primess: Tsk tsk. We thought you said so long ago you wouldn't do any deals with us again

Primess: Either we get a deal, an apology or a corpse

Skittle: im fucking weak, okay? im not gonna let you kill him. what do you want from me?

Primess: Another favour, another game when we choose. Don't worry it won't be the same as last time.

Pawn: The pain that flooded his system instantly made Pawn clutch his chest, eye squeezing shut. He tried to wave off Morty, biting down on his lip to prevent crying out in pain, near keeling over. 20 seconds was up too quickly, the boy collapsing on the ground.

Skittle: and no one gets physically hurt?

Skittle: fuck

Skittle: deal

Skittle: i cant make demands right now just please dont kill him

Primess: Do you really think you deserve that kindness this time?

Skittle: fine whatever just please

Primess: Good choice. At the snap of her fingers Pawn's heart starts beating again... not a moment too soon

Pawn: When brought back, Pawn's body twitched, heavy gasping and coughing bringing him back to awareness. For a moment, he sat still on the floor, eye widened as he stared down at himself on the floor. Without speaking, he stood and used his gun to send himself somewhere else. Anywhere but there.

Primess: ... Skittle

Skittle: ...hi.

Primess: He does that ever again, we will rip his heart out of his chest and feed the bloodied mess to him. Make sure he knows it.

Skittle: okay

#mortys-1

Skittle: god fucking damn it

Skittle: no one ever give a shit about me again. please

Skittle (linking to #group-chat-1): this is what happens when you do

Skittle: fuck

Skittle: fuck

False Morty: im pretty sure that happened because it was a long time coming

False Morty: shouldve let him die

Skittle: he went out of his way to defend me to her and she almost fucking killed him.

Skittle: fuck you

False Morty: im just saying! this is not the first fight hes caused

Skittle: but its the first fight hes caused on my behalf

False Morty: the guy practically looks for a fight whenever he can get it

Skittle: and this is the fight that almost killed him

Skittle: the one where he was defending me

#group-chat-1

Adult!Showrunner Morty: * walks in holding a smoke wearing a cover all, looks at this shit * ...oh * leaves *

-----

what an eventful morning! let me know what you think of the format!

kisses, @thoughts-and-gayers!

[foulfeast]

Deeply embarrassed to ask this, but I looked away about a month back and clearly missed something important; who is Pluto?

OH GOSH DONT WORRY! :] i havent added any info on them yet in my pinned either, i really need to. I actually just explained this to a friend on discord so ill just copy it w some small corrections. Heres the babygirl themself:

Tjey are a sorcerer in a world where like... magic is more treated as a science, just one that has for years been near impossible to control, replicate etc- incredibly unpredictable and ENDLESSLY complex. IT IS a collection of different energies that we dont have in our world, comparable to things like gravity, electricity, magnetism... idk what yet but i am working on it 🫡 ive been putting a bunch of finnshit in there so i think smth will at least be based on singing spells, so maybe some kind of a force similiar to vibrational energy? Vibration is smth that exists but a form of it that can change the physical aspects of smth or call to the physical elements/nature of smth- singing the ground into a swamp etc

And there is like a lot of lore starting to form about differemt eras of how people approached it - in short Pluto "grew up" on a version where people made an attempt to control it. They slid into a more modern thinking of "moving with it, communicating with it"- however, that is a bit surface level, and they still in actions do seek to control it.

They live in an old church like building- basically an old hospital, now a "town witches" home. Old people still come by to get help with things - so do some younger people who have exhausted other routes

(To be clear- it doesnt always work. Because of the whole unpredictability thing.)

However like... the last 30 yesrs people have moved more towards "modern scientific diciplines" like electricity, whixh is far easier to control

Magic is more powerful but only when successful

Modern sciences and old ones are NOT COMPLETELY SEPERATE! Magic could be ccompared to just electricity, igs just an exra energy in this world (there are different forms of it)

Like medicine & chemistry is closer to old sciences than the use of electricity

Pluto is a smooth charming motherfucker. Huge control freak and saviour complex, but they hide it well. Genuinely well meaning!!! A good person but deeply needy and it makes them capable of causing damage.

This is a lot of... me looking at nostalgia and how things were never fairytales, but there was still a sense of fancy to things when i was a kid - and in recent years it has made somewhat of a return, but i sometimes worry that that kind of nostalgia and openness can also be a way to regress. And then looping back to - how its also important to understand and parse past in a way that helps us learn from it, and take the good parts while mutilating the bad parts into a better shape, no matter how it hurts.

It is about time but "My Moon", a character whose design i need to fuck around with also brings an element of toxic codependency, where Pluto gets to act their chivalrous games and know things and guide someone and My Moon gets to stop growing and developing on their own as they get to always be saved.

So i guess thats still about time... two people who the time will pass by

Not as like, h8ing on tradition, on god, im someone who loves history and seeking answers in it. But like as an exploration of some of my experiences w wanting to regress to this state of helplessness and certainty of what has already passed. Maybe makes no sense :] ill work on explaining it better.

Allthough I wil say,if i ever do some full project w pluto, it will be more wholesome, at least on surface! There is a lot of love in their life.

[hms-no-fun]

Do your political views influence your writing? and if they do, how so?

this is sort of a tough question. i mean obviously my political views affect my writing, i believe that's true of every writer. the "how" is throwing me for a bit of a loop though. maybe partly because pretty much my only public-facing writing at this point is godfeels, which really isn't indicative of the kind of stuff i spent my entire pre-transition life writing. which actually makes it harder for me to introspect on the subject because transition brought with it political radicalization. i'm not just a woman now, i'm a communist, and i've spent a lot more time thinking about propaganda and hierarchies and economic power dynamics. so i'm definitely more intentional about this stuff now... what the hell, let's give it the ol college try

i'm typically drawn to characters in working/middle-class positions, because those are the people i've spent most of my life around. everything i write is at least partially autobiographical, as seen in the vast majority of my pre-transition protagonists being sad adolescent/twenty-something boys crumbling under the weight of social expectations they have no interest in meeting but can't imagine an alternative to. it is frankly extremely funny how much of my early fiction was about characters who desperately wanted to transition but utterly lacked the language & framework for doing so... because i also lacked that knowledge. i have multiple hundred+ page books that i never finished because i guess i couldn't even let myself imagine what the logical conclusion would be.

in my subjects, i've always had opinionated characters who got mad about social ills. a loooooot of my old short stories started with characters arguing about politics. i was raised secular and grew up in the bible belt during the bush years. i've always had a strong moral compass and a tendency to Say Shit, and that absolutely comes through in everything i write. it's an impulse i have to tamp down on a lot, because as tempting as it is to get all your hits in whenever you can, a lot of times they come across as infantile and pointless. you know, dude standing up and giving a Big Important Speech about whatever social ill you happened to read about on tumblr that day. sometimes you can get good stuff from that you've really gotta earn it.

my current work is definitely a lot more coherently political than my old stuff. obviously the witchkind legion is my attempt to imagine a post-scarcity communist utopia that is still deeply flawed in its own unique ways. come home, wolf was a gesture in a similar direction albeit on a smaller scale, imagining a communist nation funding a rewilding initiative in collaboration with a historically oppressed werewolf population. i guess i'm thinking a lot more about The Material Conditions these days. pure character drama just doesn't do it for me anymore, it feels disconnected from the real. i want to know where my characters live and how expensive the food is. and i want my stories to be saying interesting things as much as possible, instead of repeating tired tropes out of a lack of introspection.

when i went through a Social Justice arc in my mid-twenties, i really became aware of the fact that all my stories were about straight white dudes in suburban environments. i started noticing accidental racism & sexism & homophobia & etc etc all over the place, laundered in through various unquestioned assumptions and a fairly sheltered upbringing. in hindsight this is a big reason i stopped writing fiction altogether from 2013 to 2019, that i felt totally trapped by my inherited biases. funny how much changed when i came out as transgender! these days the trick is finding ways to utilize that experience constructively. for instance, as someone who once used the r-slur with gleeful thoughtless disregard, how might i go about incorporating that experience into my writing thoughtfully? there's an understandable tendency in young writers to course correct hard around The Problematic, that i think can very often result in sterile text that's too timid to grapple with real issues. there's a learning experience attached to realizing that the r-slur (for instance) isn't just a word but a historical object, a linguistic bludgeon with valances far beyond anything within my limited sphere of experience. just because i don't use that word anymore doesn't mean other people don't, and those other people are not necessarily any more Bad than *i* was as a teenager. combined & uneven development and all that.

so now with the Upsilon Kids i'm trying to deliberately explore Problematic & Troubled Teens from a place of empathy and personal experience. i'm not setting out to Make A Point mind you, but a point will be made regardless so i might as well put some thought into it. this is another place where it's REALLY IMPORTANT to have a check on your political impulses. it's extremely easy for the desire to Make A Point completely override character voice and dramatic consistency. this is why we practice and try new things and challenge ourselves as writers, so we never feel like we've got it all Figured Out for too long.

well i hope that was a useful and not totally embarrassing answer because i'm going cross-eyed now and i absolutely don't have the attention span to proofread all that lmao

[ptn-imagines]

Consider this f!chief who has voice kink x eleven or adela. If I was left alone with either of them one of us would come out pregnant and it would be me.

This request stunlocked me, but also same. Those two are strong contenders for my favorite voices in the game; Eleven's actually my homescreen right now. Anyway, you said Eleven or Adela, but... I did both! As a little treat.

NSFW content below the cut.

F!Chief with a voice kink

Eleven

The Chief isn’t the only one. How many of Eleven’s fans have a voice kink? Trying to count would be like trying to count all the grains of sand on a beach.

Of course, the Chief is the only important one, and the only one who can experience the godlike blessing in person.

Eleven actually figured out the Chief had a thing for her voice pretty quickly… She’s gotten enough weird fan mail about that sort of thing in the past to recognize the signs, although she’s significantly less creeped out by it from the Chief than a random stranger she’s never met before.

That doesn’t mean she isn’t embarrassed, though – whenever the topic might come up, Eleven’s cheeks burn bright red and she falls dead quiet. She knows that her voice is soothing to a lot of people, but this is another thing entirely…

When the Chief finally does manage to talk to her about it, she’s accepting and willing to try it out properly nevertheless. She’s a bit shy about it at first, but upon seeing how Chief reacts to her efforts, she does begin to gain some confidence really quickly. It doesn’t hurt that Chief, despite having a voice kink herself, doesn’t let people be weird about her voice on her now MBCC-supported radio show.

In addition to the more open enactment of the kink in the bedroom, Eleven also tends to be more vocal in her day-to-day life around the Bureau. While she’s not any less introverted than before, she is a lot more lively in the conversations she chooses to join, and she can often be caught singing and humming to herself. Overall, in addition to making the Chief herself feel good, Chief’s voice kink has also helped Eleven to gain a lot of confidence in herself.

Adela

Adela is another person it’s easy to develop a voice kink for, but given that she’s a humble hairdresser compared to a somewhat renowned radio hostess, she has much less people thirsting after her for her voice. That’s not to say her voice doesn’t have its fair share of admirers in the Bureau, though…

Unlike Eleven, Adela is utterly clueless to the fact that some people have a voice kink for her. A combination of her aforementioned anonymity and also her shears-happy habits means that she’s never heard of it before, and is in fact quite innocent all around.

That’s not to say she can’t notice, eventually, the way that Chief seems to get flushed and averts her gaze when Adela talks in a very certain way. She can’t quite put all the puzzle pieces together like Eleven can, but she can tell something’s up. Her mind just tends to more mundane rationale first, like illness or anxiety.

Adela does her best to help with the perceived cause of distress. Or what she thinks is distress. Chief won’t let her cut her hair with her Mania shears so she keeps to her tried-and-true but nevertheless ordinary methods: her special tea, time spent quietly chatting together after-hours, a personal massage and hair wash. Of course, Adela tends to use that voice unknowingly during these private, intimate moments, so it actually makes the “problem” worse rather than helping it.

Eventually, Chief has no choice but to fess up to Adela before she digs them both into too deep of a trench to climb out of. To say Adela is a little shocked is an understatement… “You really like my voice that much, Chief?”

It’s a little strange for Adela at first, because she’s never considered kink as something she would engage in. But, well, she wasn’t really doing anything differently, was she? Chief is also a lot happier now that she doesn’t have to hide it, which makes Adela very happy. She’s glad to have finally gotten that stress off her dearest’s shoulders one way or another. And, well, now that she knows, she’s a lot more careful about what tone she uses in situations where arousal is not really appropriate! Chief appreciates it a lot, and enjoys her voice even more now, knowing that it’s done intentionally now.

[askyourwritergrandma]

Hello there. I have a bit of a difficult question in the sense that I don't know who to ask about it. You seemed to be arguably the wisest source to consult on the matter, so I'm taking a chance.

I had an idea for a fic that I wanted to write and I was actually in the process of writing it for a bit. It was for a small fandom event in which I signed up for. I was almost done with it and was in the finishing stages of them when I was obstructed by people and circumstances that really ought not to have ever been and as such, I was never able to fully publish it. Ever since then, I have resented the people who did this as I not only failed to deliver the final product I was supposed to, but I also looked like a fool. I hated everyone and myself for this entire thing as this is not the first time I had been stopped from doing something that I chose outside of everyone else's jurisdiction. To an effect, I still do.

As a more notable effect, looking at the document in which all of my hard work sat made me physically ill and enraged. I had also stopped writing completely because of how strongly I felt (and still feel) about this entire situation. Soon after the fact, I also essentially erased myself from the online space for a month because I didn't want anyone to question nor point out that I hadn't done it as I did not want to explain why and doing so would have me spiral out of control and simply delete my social media as I would not be able to live with it. I have only come back recently because I was sick of being socially isolated and alone. You would think that this would be the end of it, but there's one thing that for some reason sticks around.

I still want to write this story.

Yes, I know I essentially left them high and dry but this premise and what I had been working on captivated me to such a degree that I'm still thinking about it when my mind wanders on its own. But I still get sick thinking about my circumstances that I can't change nor budge and as such, I still can't stand looking at the document nor the outline. I desperately want to get to work on it again, but there's so much negative emotional attachment to it that I can't bring myself to do it because I wonder why I ever bothered with it in the first place if everyone and everything in my life keeps stopping me from doing it.

I've tried to write other things in the meantime, but they too are suppressed as I am constantly reminded of my failure and my circumstances that are not only unfair but ridiculous as this is the only outlet I really have and to see it limited to such a degree is sickening and still makes my blood boil.

I love writing things and I love exploring these things, but I don't even know how to do it when all of it is accompanied by rage, despair, inferiority, and pure unadulterated hatred directed at myself as well as others.

So I suppose that my question really is this:

How do I bring myself to write when my entire being hates me for even trying, knowing that I'll never finish what I start because something will stop me?

Oh friend, this is just some shit right here.

Ok so important disclaimer is that I am not a mental health professional. Anything I say is based on personal experience or accumulated knowledge from the internet.

Its important that you know, and really properly internalize, that you did not fail. In fact my first thing directly related to writing that I would advise you to do, when you start to feel this way, is to say 'I did not fail' to yourself. Sometimes things happen that can't control and they affect us in very serious ways that takes time to get over.

Certainly it sounds like what you were working on was important to you and the circumstances that interrupted it were very upsetting. There's no surprise that your story has becoming a focal point for those feelings. Untangling how they are connected is something that you can only do with time and trying.

If you have a safe place where you can externalize those feelings, either through talking to someone, keeping a journal or writing the events but fictionalized I would suggest those things. Sometimes just being able to put it all out there and know that its safe helps you move on from it.

As far as people on the internet questioning you about where you've been, I can't say that wouldn't have happened or that it won't happen in the future, but as a general rule good, decent people extend you grace. Everyone has a life outside of this anonymous mosh pit we call the internet and most people are capable of understanding that. You don't need to compound these feelings of failure with any additional shame from anonymous strangers. Would they have loved to read your story? Yes of course they would have. If you were to finish it they would still want to read it. But they aren't angry or upset with you.

As you try to write, remind yourself that you have not failed. Imagine yourself as a professional athlete who has suffered a serious knee injury. You had to take time away but you're back on your feet now and you're working towards getting back on the field. Every time you sit and try to write, remind yourself that you have no failed, that you are recovering and that you will get better. Writing will get easier.

Send me as many asks as you want, if they help, I'll do my best to answer them promptly.

Good luck anon and take care of yourself.

[ariel26c]

im applying the law, but instead of the feeling of success that everyone else gets i feel panicked. the 'feeling' people usually get when they're in the wish fulfilled state, the feeling of accepting it and it being real—im not getting that. i dont see a clear picture when i visualize. every time i try to, i end up breaking down and feeling like a failure... but I'm still trying to go on because why is it that the people who hurt me and practically ruined my life get to live successfully, while i suffer? thats not fair... i promised myself that if i could just get 3 Bs, ill turn my life around and work really hard... but is it over for me? i want to win, im trying to, but im scared

im trying my best to visualize myself getting 3 Bs, reenacting my friends faces when i get the results, praying to God and thanking Him for blessing me and continuing to bless me, but there is this fear still lingering at the back of my mind... i feel like I'm not doing it right. i have like one day left and I'm so nervous. im going over posts, tweets, and every time I feel a little better, it all comes crashing down because of doubts. theres only one thing one my mind right now: 'how am I gonna turn it around in one day?' i know that the 3D does not matter and that everything is done in imagination, but here i feel like its not done in imagination either

right now nothings clicking in my head, whatever i read is getting scrambled in my mind, i feel so lost and empty. could u please tell me what to do in this specific situation? u can be as harsh as you want if that's what's needed to get the point across. im really sorry for the bother and id be really grateful if u could please help out, ive never been this desperate before... my life cant be over before it even started

Babe don’t stress yourself out. If you don’t like visualizing then don’t do it. Do what you wanna do not what others are doing. You don’t need to visualize perfectly anyway. I think most people don’t visualize in perfect detail. Make your own method if you enjoy doing methods.

Create your own rules for manifestation because as long as you persist that’s what matters. Feeling isn’t that important. I know some say feeling like it’s yours is necessary to manifest but it’s not. Don’t worry about not feeling the feelings and simply persist. Also stop trying and simply be. Choose to be a winner in life. Choose to be successful. Choose that you live life on easy mode.

Thinking as if you were the best version of yourself. You are so powerful that you could literally have anything. What others have done to you simply needs to be let go and focus on the now because now is when you’ll get to love your dreams. You’ll live a better life than all those losers who hurt you. Doubts hold no power over your manifestations. Accept them and move on. It’s done because you say so. Period. It’s okay to not believe.

Stop searching for posts if you’re not apply what you’re learning. It’s pointless to scroll and scroll and search if you’re not even trying. You can do this my love. No matter how you feel or how many doubts you have you are still God at the end of the day. What you want you can have if you simply allowed yourself to have it.

In other words:

1. Doubts don’t matter.

2. You don’t need to feel it real.

3. You don’t need to believe.

4. What you’ve gone through in your past doesn’t matter because there is now.

5. If other people can experience happiness and get what they want then so can you.

6. Don’t worry about doing things perfectly. Visualize but if it stresses you out don’t do it. Make it easy for yourself by doing what you wanna do.

7. Simply persisting is all it takes.

[traumatizedjaguar]

Realizing because of God that I deserve and need compassion, understanding, unconditional love, people asking questions and believing me or trying to understand me even if they don’t, people having non-judgment with me, and that I’m not bad nor have I ever been. It comforts me to know He tells me these things and wants these things for me. Which is why a relationship with God is important when humans refuse to give you what you deserve.

I cant believe I didn’t believe in Him before. I can’t believe He loves me. My meditation prayers flare so nice sometimes. My dreams change when I meditate and pray from sinister and dreadful to happier or just non frightening so I can go back to sleep and feel amazing. Or if I do it the right way before bed I can dream nicer dreams.

Learning that life reviews exist when you get back to the other side is good I guess. God (may not be) isn’t vengeful because I learned revenge is always wrong (as He told me that multiple times) but justice and compassionate teaching is mandatory. There are lessons and karmic debt so you have to experience it from the other persons pov from everyone you hurt or gave joy to in life by like becoming their consciousness??? Which is so bizarre but so true and weird. — It teaches emotional, cognitive, and compassionate empathy in its full capacity. — which is so cool to find out honestly…

I learned from Him that I’m not defined by my thoughts, trauma responses or intrusive thoughts that I put into my vents or just have in my brain, but I need to of course control my thoughts which is why I daydream about love and make myself laugh with joyful scenarios and daydreams when I do day dream which is a good switch. Using my therapy notes to control emotions, to practice mindfulness everyday,m, and keep meditating and exercising. funny thing is God told me to stop daydreaming so much so ahhh ill try.

I learned my spirit family and guardians didn’t want me to come to earth in this incarnation but ultimately left it up to me as I have my own will. They didn’t want to see me go and asked me to really think about it. They seemed to know it could be a not so lovely idea. just to add, what I specifically heard from a couple of my spirit family was "are you sure about this" I'll add onto this in the future when I confirm with God and my spirit family if this is true. (no these are not dreams, these are legitimate memories that came back to me throughout my spiritual awakening.)

I learned violence is never the answer no matter how much temptation there is toward really bad people (ALL humans I learned have these same bad or violent thoughts toward horrible people) and it’s up to you to use it if you want to in only necessary situations such as defending a life.

Not all mediums are bad people and some truly are gifted. People get spiritual gifts from God sometimes such as “6th senses” in some form or another, seer gifts, ability to see the other realm temporarily while still here. You are still limited being in a human brain, but it’s cool that people can sometimes truly see angels in the room with them, use telepathy with interdimensional beings or God, see visions while wide awake (obviously can’t be drug related), or a bunch of other cool stuff.

I learned that your thoughts and intentions do matter just as much if not more. I do not want to interpret things off at all but ill leave it here.

[defiantdreemurrs]

idk if i have the mental energy to go that deep into it this morning but like

i kinda fairly regularly see vriska serket homestuck and asuka langley soryu evangelion compared as “basically the same character” or how vriska is “SUCH an asuka” or vice versa and

they kinda really arent

they both share a surface level similarity of “girl who is fiery and assertive and has a mountain of trauma who picks on a boy she has complicated feelings for” but thats kinda reductive for both their characters

vriska never particularly cares about spotlight or attention. these are not important to her. they have no connection to her trauma. she *does* care about getting to be the big hero, but its not because she wants the attention. hell by the end of her arc she explicitly does not care about glory and is perfectly willing to let (vriska) take all the credit for finding the juju.

vriskas whole deal is just wanting to be a hero. because everypony around her treated her like a bad person. and she never wanted to be a bad person. the things she does in act 5 are very clearly intended to set things in motion that were *already going to happen* so she can insert herself in and be the hero. she wasnt trying to get all her friends killed, she didnt wanna kill anypony, she very explicitly just wanted to be the hero. not for the glory, not for the attention, but for herself.

(im still waking up and i havent read homestuck in a while so whenever my sister wakes up shes the real vriska expert between us so ill let her correct me if i missed anything)

meanwhile.

asuka langley soryu is ALL about the spotlight. ALL about the attention. she wants to be noticed. she wants to be looked at. she pilots eva because she knows shes good at it and thinks if she makes it her whole life then people will finally notice her. because her own trauma is rooted *deep* in it. rooted in being ignored. having her own mother, broken by the contact experiment, pay more attention to a literal doll than to her.

asukas central issue is not one of wanting to be a hero or to atone for anything she might have been made to feel guilty about by her peers. her issue is that she, very much like shinji, is unable to form meaningful emotional connections with others. and not for lack of trying! she spends the whole show throwing herself at a man twice her age who very understandably has zero interest in her because *she is 13 years old*. she also spends it throwing herself at a boy who hates himself soooooooo much hes unable to let his guard down to let her in.

shes not faultless, though. her attempts at forming a connection are halfhearted at best because her traumas have closed *her* off too. she cant find it in herself to be vulnerable with anypony and therefore nopony really feels capable of being vulnerable with her. and she doesnt really understand it.

vriska never really struggles with this though. despite how thoroughly fucked her childhood was she never really worried about being ignored or being *replaced* or treated like an inanimate object or even making emotional connections. shes pretty good at making connections and with her practical inability to lie she really has a hard time *not* being her authentic self.

unlike asuka who, despite being *mostly* her authentic self, still keeps her vulnerable sides hidden. she cant let her guard down. she cant be weak. she cant let anypony take advantage of her. one of the few times shinji sees how much she actually hurts, she manages to deflect by calling him a perv and saying she knew he was staring at her chest the whole time.

and likewise, asuka doesnt really get labeled by everypony around her as a bad person? nor is she concerned with being a hero or trying to show everypony that she isnt a bad person. is she the type to do the thing nopony else seems willing to do? yes, but shes more concerned with finally getting the attention she thinks she deserves (which, yes, she absolutely does deserve it, please just look at this girl please dont ignore her and starve her), and jumping at the chance to do the thing is what she thinks will get her that attention.

this post is starting to run out of steam so ill wrap it up.

so, no, asuka langley soryu is indeed very much *not* a vriska. and vriska serket is very much *not* an asuka. yes they have some similarities yes they are both loud brash girls who receive WAY WAY WAY TOO MUCH SHIT from their respective fanbases by people who dont even bother to engage properly with the source material. hell i would even say theyre similar *enough* that theyd be total besties. but theyre also very much different characters in different stories whose central arcs do not overlap.

one is about learning how to establish connections with others and nurture them into something beautiful. the other is about being the girl who does what nopony else ever seems willing to do, the girl who does the hard things that nopony else ever steps up for. i think both are brilliant characters and both mean so incredibly much to me.

oh also i have explicitly only ever been referring to asuka langley soryu in this post. there is a reason i spelled out her whole name. asuka shikinami is a completely different character who i would argue is *much* closer to vriska than asuka soryu is. but thats a post for another time. this post was primarily only in response to the people i see calling asuka soryu a vriska or calling vriska an asuka.