#its just sucky
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I love. Having pain issues. Cos I'll be fine one minute and then when I do something I want to do, my arms and legs and back will all simultaneously go "no <3" and then send me into pain.
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that's so unfair there's no way that passes, that was the shittiest bug ever
#qsmp#qsmp purgatory#etoiles had the quicksand event whilr in spawn and couldn't escape it and bad and tubbo logged in right as he respawned after suffocating#thats actually shitty i feel so bad for etoiles and roier theyd been grinding for hours#if they hadnt got that bug they would've had such a fair fight it wouldve been sl entertaining#etoiles is getting wronged left and right 😭😭#i kinda wanr admins should revert it back by 10 minutes to recreate it but it's no one's fault at all that there's a bu#its just sucky
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I am so tired of being sick and exhausted. What's worse is that I know it only feels this bad because I'm having a surgery to help with this in a few months.
Doesn't really help with the things I need to do now though.
#i am trying my hardest not to go whine to my friends#bc though they mean well i doubt theyd understand#and niether of the people i want to talk to / that i want comfort from are in my timezone#and thats nobody's fault#its just sucky
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I started this post with the intention of asking for fic recs where Bruce gets his kids early, but then I ended up just writing some ficlets
_(:3 」∠)_
I still really just want recs I swear but I wrote these anyway and am incapable of doing more with them so here
☆彡
Dick Grayson is 8 years old when he watches his parents die. Bruce is 24 years old when he sees a young boy’s life fall to pieces. He’s far too young to be a single father. But he sees too much of himself in the child, and he knows in his heart that he won’t be able to walk away from him.
He talks to Alfred about his fears of only furthering Dick’s trauma by failing him as a guardian. It takes some time, but Alfred is able to convince Bruce to find a therapist and take some discreet parenting classes. He’s still Batman, and I don’t think he’s capable of Gentle Parenting™ but he does do better. Plus, Dick is young enough to learn to read Bruce before the teenage hormones kick in so they manage to communicate much more effectively with each other.
☆彡
Bruce meets Catherine Todd by chance because there was a cool park Dick wanted to stop at. She’s trying to deal with her hungry and fussy 3 year old step son, but she’s young and stressed out and hungry herself and she just doesn’t know what to do. Bruce offers to take them out for lunch. He asks Dick to take Jason to the play area in the corner while they talk.
She breaks down and tells him of her struggles with addiction. She does her best to keep Jason fed, but it’s so hard. Feeding him means she goes hungry most of the time because she can’t quit using. Jason wouldn’t survive if she had to go through withdrawals with him.
He’s not even her kid! Not really. Her husband is just an abusive deadbeat so she doesn’t have a choice. She does love him, but she never wanted kids, and she can’t just let a child die when she can do something.
Bruce fills their fridge and cabinets to the brim (he offers to do much more for them but that’s all she will budge on. She has too much pride to accept outright charity, but she will do what she can to keep her kid safe) and he makes it clear to her that he is willing to take care of Jason for however long is necessary when she decides to take the first step to get clean.
Two months later, Willis gets arrested and Catherine shows up at Wayne Manor and tells Bruce she signed up for inpatient, but she thinks it would be best for Jason and for herself if Bruce would be willing to take permanent custody. She stays in Jason’s life, just not as a mother figure.
☆彡
A year or so later, Bruce gifts Alfred with a vacation as an early birthday present. Things have been hectic with the sudden acquisition of two sons, and Alfred has done so much, he deserves a break. Bruce promises he’ll be able to handle two kids on his own.
Turns out, he was mostly right, but only just barely. The kids are fine, the manor not so much. He ends up hiring a few services to help out with general housekeeping. A couple of those workers also happen to be regular hires for the Drakes.
Bruce overhears them talking about how sad it is that those awful people treat their toddler more like a doll than a child. He learns that not only do they leave for long periods at a time while not hiring a proper nanny to watch over their son, just expecting the help to take care of him, but they also lock him away on his own whenever it’s ’not fashionable’ to have a 2 year old around.
Alfred comes back to the manor on August 15th, just in time to celebrate his and Master Jason’s birthdays together. He opens the door and dodged around a very excited 4 year old jumping up and down in the entry hall.
“ALFIE! ALFIE! BOOSE GOT ME A BABY BWOTHER FOR MY BIRFDAY! LOOK! LOOK! HIMS NAME IS TIMMY AND HE’S THE BESTEST!”
Alfred leans over to peak behind the boy, and sees a very quiet, very small child standing behind him.
“Oh, dear.”
☆彡
The day Bruce got the call from Talia telling him she was pregnant with his child was one of the best days of Bruce’s life. The day she called to tell him she miscarried was one of the worst.
The only blessing was that he didn’t need to explain it to his kids. Talia was going to move in once she was in her second trimester, and they planned to reveal her pregnancy together.
He got the call two weeks before her flight out. He begged her to come anyway, he loved her, they could still be a family. She refused.
Six and a half months later, he walks into his bedroom to find Talia standing by the window with a squirming bundle in her arms. With equal measures steel and sorrow in her eyes she tells Bruce she is sorry for what she put him through, but it was the only way to keep their son safe. He gathers them both in his arms and holds them tight as she explains.
Her father had planned to raise an heir to be the Demon Head. He would be kept a secret from Batman until the very end. But when Talia gave the final push to birth their son, he came out quiet. She panicked for a moment until her midwife quietly leaned down to listen to the baby’s breathing and then looked up with a soft smile, she bundled up the small thing and handed Talia her baby. Big beautiful green eyes blinked up at her. The midwife leaned closer to Talia and whispered, “Sadly, your son was stillborn. I’m deeply sorry for your loss, but surely The Great Head of the Demon would be willing to allow you some time away from your duties while you recover.” Talia allowed the woman to cover her beautiful cooing baby gently with soft linen and silk and carry him from the room. Later that night she left her home with her son and boarded the first flight to Gotham.
Tears gather on Bruce’s lashes and he tells her everything will be alright because now they can finally be together as a family. Once more, she refuses. She tells him Damian and his boys are far too precious for her to bring the danger of the league of assassins to their door. Bruce closes his eyes in sorrow, but nods his acceptance. He asks her to at least stay the night together. They fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms with their baby boy safely bundled between them. Talia is gone when he wakes.
☆彡
It’s been one week since Talia left and, while still beyond upset, Bruce feels like he’s starting to have a decent handle on things. He is sitting with his boys at the breakfast table, Dick and Jason to his left, Tim to his right, Damian in his arms, and Alfred across from him. They’re finally able to have a relaxing breakfast. No babies crying, no food fights, no arguing, just the sounds of eating and gentle chatter.
He feels a small hand grab his right sleeve and give a gentle tug.
“Boo?” Tim asks, quietly. Bruce feels his heart warm at his son finally feeling like he can speak up without permission.
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“Why isn’t Big Sister sitting with us?”
Alfred is the only person in the room other than Tim to not startle at the sudden appearance of a 5 year old girl standing next to Bruce at the dining table. He simply sighs, stands up, and grabs another place setting for her at the table.
#to this day nobody knows how Cass got there#but Tim says she came with baby so they assume she hitched a ride with Talia somehow#notice how I /very discreetly/ made it so Jason knows Catherine isn’t his birth mom?#Bruce communicates with him when he’s older that if he ever wants to find his bio mom he will help him and they can do it together ❤️#No dead robins for me🧍🏼♂️#Sorry Duke but it’s because I love you that I’m allowing you to stay with your parents 🫶#IM SORRY DICK I WROTE YOUR PART BEFORE I HAD ANY REAL CREATIVITY AND NOW ITS ALL DRIED UP#I LOVE U BB BUT UR STUCK WITH TWO SUCKY PARAGRAPHS ✌️#also? I don’t even ship Brutalia. like I’m almost a hater. but they took me over here ig#if I was writing more of this just know that Clark would show up with Jon at some point#batfam#dcu#fanfiction#ficlet#batman#brutalia#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#cassandra cain#alfred pennyworth#shut up grandpa#dcu ficlet
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Sunshine has been trapped in that basement for 767 days
#just the idea that Sunshine thinks that Elliott straight up doesnt remember them#and suddenly he's here again#it would be very sucky for both of them#also lil art note#the chasm is tinted teal because its blake's magic keeping them apart#i think im sneaky#i miss this storyline#its just the lil itty bitty stories that give me the most creative inspo#aughhhhhhh#oc#art#originalcharacter#originalartwork#sketch#character design#redacted asmr#redactedasmr#redacted audio#redactedaudio#comic#redacted elliott#redacted sunshine#redacted balance#pali draws redacted
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Imagining Denki being casted as the villain in a training exercise and after plenty of confirmation that he should be acting like a villain would 100 percent and he doesn't need to play nice and for the love of GOD Kaminari just do the fucking exercise already, he takes one of his classmates hostage during the fight to get away from the heroes (his other classmates)
Holding his fingers up to the classmates head, threatening to electrocute their brain into mush, even shocking them a teeny bit to show he's "serious", he actually manages to get his classmates to lower their weapons and shoots a truly harmless amount of electricity into his hostage's back to stun them as he pushes them at the heroes and makes a run for it
At the end of the exercise, he gets a really good grade for his skills in undercover work
Because if I can't give him my theatrics what even is the point
#“Denki took Jirou (just the first classmate to come to mind here) hostage#that was so underhanded and sucky!“#“Actually#that was really good work and Kaminari is getting an A“#“What?”#“It was?!? I am?!!???”#“You convinced your class#who knows you would never hurt Jirou#to put down their weapons to save her#you managed to show enough force to make it look like you were actually willing to hurt her without ever actually doing anything that would#you played the part of a villain so well that even your friends treated you as an actual threat whether they meant to or not#That was excellent undercover work Kaminari. Good work.“#“Holy crap#really!?“#“Just sit down and take the damn grade”#denki kaminari#jirou kyouka#aizawa shouta#bnha#mha#villain denki#but its just for a training exercise hes not really evil
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I dunno how to explain it. There is a lot of Jewish rep out there but very rarely does the representation actually feel Jewish.
Yeah maybe they celebrate Chanuka or crack a few jokes about not eating pork but we rarely actually delve deep or explore what it means to be Jewish in this context. If there is elements of tradition they have to be tied to negative elements or the past and better left behind.
For the longest time i just assumed that was how it was. I learned to separate the core of my identity from the stories I found solace in for the sake of finding safety in escapism. Everyone talked about representation but I just assumed that myself as my whole self could never have a place in the stories I loved.
Ive since read stories where I did have a place, where people like me did exist and we weren’t some flawed evil thing to outgrow or something to just brush over. It was so comforting like finding the perfect blanket to curl up in. Maybe thats what were all looking for in the end.
#jumblr#jewblr#silly jewish vents#i both want more rep#but im so tired of rep done by people who dont know much about us other than aesthetics#or random holidays#its also sucky bc i just dont even know how to write jewish rep myself#ive separated myself from fantasy so well that it takes effort to try and find ways to add myself back in
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Headcanon #400: Heart & Mind are usually never a neutral temperature. The area around them is like the sun & moon. Mind's being hot and Hearts being cold. They're body temperatures however contrast that with Mind always feeling cold like metal/machinery and Heart feeling warm like a literal heart.
[more in tags :}]
#chonny jash#cj heart#cj mind#cj soul#depending on how negative or positive they feel makes it either a comfortable temp or an uncomfortable/unbearable temp#also feel like when they're more mutually chill with eachother [like in Light & We're Gonna Win]#they're still opposite temps but coexisting together#like perfect example is a spring & a storm [literal wise not just the songs]#spring being a nice warm breeze & maybe some very light rain. so together its a nice combo & its not too intense to make a storm#and then on the other hand#the storm being the two clashing & even making a tornado since the temperatures & winds are fight so much#the end of StAAS especially is vry musically stormy/tornado like with how the tempo gets faster & their lyrics clashing together too#[which btw chonny added in the tempo speeding up cos that's not in the og & I LOVE that detail SO much]#and then during THA it becomes an uncomfy cold and as Be Born & the beginning of StAAS its an almost unbearable cold#Heart gives up control to Mind so its like if a body *literally* lost its heart#as StAAS gets through its becoming warmer from Mind & then there's the storm feel at the end#TME starts annoyingly hot & gets worse & worse as the song progresses [also kinda like a computer is overheating]#TSE [and also just Soul in general] is neither. a very empty feeling even#since Soul is the shell/vessel [Whole without his Mind & Heart] he has no temperature at all. bro is just empty feeling#at best [or worst] Soul will be a sucky inbetween. if he feels cold & puts on a thicker coat he gets too warm.#if it's too hot. it'll just wear a t shirt but then it gets too cold [kinda like having the flu/a cold]#anyways the bidding is a harsh swapping between the two. changing between who's singing#the duet bit with M&H is similar to the storm but just circling winds that aren't as violent#by Two Wuv & VoaC its much more neutral and peaceful with Soul being able to feel the positive parts to the others temperatures#but thats enough inane ranting#i like the temperature idea can you tell?#most of this idea i got months ago from thinkin more about how the end of StAAS is like a literal storm lol#the og already had fun instruments swelling & stuff that made it have a storm vibe but CJ went ham on his#i love StAAS mayhaps a lil bit
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Smegtober- Day 8 (Diary)
TW: Arnold Rimmer's Terrible Childhood
"What are you?” John taunted, spitting each word from a tongue laced with venom,”Some kind of nancy?”
“What?” a young Arnold Rimmer stood, tears pricking in his eyes, his three older brothers towering over him as he struggled to comprehend what he was being accused of. He clutched his left arm tightly to his chest, trying to ignore the persistent, buzzing pain that travelled between his shoulder and elbow. The three boys each wore a smirk of arrogance, maybe even pride; to Arnold, in that moment their teeth looked sharp enough to tear him apart, each set of fangs and tusks bigger than the last, and they were certainly sharper than his.
Frank's smug grin twisted into a grimace,” You won’t go crying to mummy this time, will you?” He sounded less concerned than annoyed to Arnold; They weren't afraid of being in trouble or punishment, not really, because ‘that's how boys are’ and Frank, Howard and John all knew their mother and father were too busy to care about their youngest child's sensitivities. ‘Boys played rough’ and if he couldn't handle it, he would be forced to spend more time alone, in his room: just him, his textbooks, and an army of tiny painted figurines watching him from his shelf.
Arnold’s gaze fell to the floor as he shook his head. This was nothing compared to some of their more daring attempts at malice and if he hadn't seen Howard whisper to John before he kicked the ball full pelt in his direction with a snigger, he could have innocently assumed it was all an accident, even if he knew differently. He decided to keep quiet. It was for his own good.
Shuffling back to the house, he lagged ever so slightly behind his brothers, giving himself a chance to shake it off, both physically and emotionally however all he could ponder was a question that nagged at him. ‘What's a nancy?’ It bugged him. The question rested in his head until dinner.
His father, as usual, sat at the head of the table, his mother to the left of him, John to his right, Frank and Howard both next to him . Arnold stayed next to his mother. He felt safer that way. As if like clockwork, Mr Rimmer asked astro navigation questions; first John, then Howard and then Frank, each one of their right answers were rewarded with the right to eat. He had finally got to Arnold, the runt of the litter. He sighed, asking a question he was surprised Arnold guessed correctly. A wave of relief washed over him as his mother slid over his plate.
Idly picking at his food while his father spoke, the question still jabbed and prodded at his mind; his curiosity had gotten him in trouble before. He weighed up his options and decided he wouldn't ask what was burning into the back of his skull.
Crawling under the covers of his bed, he dug his diary out from under his pillow, clutching his teddy bear in his arms. He rested his bear between his arms as he wrote on the pages, words flowing through him as ink did to the page;
Dear Diary…
#red dwarf#arnold rimmer#fanfiction#smegtober2024#fanfic#ficlet#red dwarf fanfiction#Rimmers sucky childhood#i kinda cheated because i wrote its a lil bit ago but i just unpublished it from a03 out of embarrassment
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Physically I'm here but mentally I'm clawing the eyes out of everyone who talks crap about their children on the internet and posts them in their most vulnerable moments for clout
#i just saw a video of a like eleven or twelve year old girl approach her mom's car when she got home from work and without even saying hello#to her kid she yelled at her to go inside so she could talk to her husband first and then shouted at the kid when she said her dad put her#through hell that day. is she probably overreacting bc shes a kid and she doesnt have get emotional regulation yet? absolutely. but also?#as the kid who knew that if i didnt get to my mom with my side of things first that my dad would twist things to make himself look like the#victim in a situation i promise you that baby girl isnt feeling heard and that would be sucky but normal on its own. the type of thing#families work through together yknow? but to post that on the internet??? to be recording when you come home knoeing there are problems in#your house and wanting to put online forever a moment in time where there are really strained relationships among members of your family??#especially when it's the relationship btwn your husband and your child??? nope. im sorry. uh uh.#that kid deserves better than that. your husband deserves better than that. everyone deserves better than to have their really vulnerable#moments shared on the internet with strangers#like. i think about how i felt as a kid when i found out my parents had told a relative something i considered private. how embarrassed and#betrayed i felt. the thought that EVERYONE would see that instead of just my dad's relatives or w/e?#bby girl im incandescent with rage#anyway#lilac rambles
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eye twitching bc i went on twitter for five minutes and was subject to hetalia discourse i think im just gonna not read anything on there ever again
#i find almost all hetalia discourse to be pointless and annoying and people trying to justify it pointless and#it sucks we all suck its some guys sucky ocs#im here for the ivan moe and crazy yaois idk i dont care#i also dont like how needlessly mean some people are about other ppls favourite characters#hetalia fandom hasnt changed!#i just want to make fun art#maybe jp twt is the place for me
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General reminder to other scrunched up sitters like me. Please do try and sit with your legs out and stretch your hamstrings once in a while if you can.
Maybe now even if you are able and have time
Brought to you by the startling realization I couldn't sit up at a 90° angle again without my legs screaming
And a few nights of wondering what I did to get sore legs turns out I just hadn't stretched
#self care#self care callout#it thows me constantly because i am surprisingly flexible in most ways#except my hamstrings and maybe hips are ridiculously tight like all the time#can i fold my 5 ft 10 self into a locker or under a desk still? yeah mostly.#can i reach behind me at really odd angles and get things with either hand or even my foot? sure#can i sit in an L shape with my legs flat and straight in front of me? absolutely not#my core strength is weirdly sucky too. can i hold weird poses for gremlin reasons? ye#can i do anything useful? no lmao#i guess my one arm has slightly reduced range of motion too still from the break cause i didnt do physio#but its not awful and doesnt hurt nearly as much anymore. i just cant quite do bullshit like i used to
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if Tumblr dies / gets any worse, a lot of artists (like me) are going to be in a lot of trouble, so it’s an uncertain and anxiety inducing time. im encouraging everyone to go reblog, drop a tip, consider a commission, consider referring artists you like to friends and such. help your little guys out etc etc
#naturally no pressure i know i just reblogged my sheet so it feels pointed but like. no it can be anyone#most artists i know have their kofi or bmac or paypal linked. i know even some larger blogs are feeling wary. its just kind of a sucky time#delete later
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A second away from making a map exclusive for bi gays to join. It must be so exhausting :(
haha thank you but i promise im used to it. being trans is much worse LOL
#mostly only other queer people care about ‘bi gays’ all the straight ppl ive mentioned it to have been like. oh ok. cool#and like. theres something uniquely sucky about having your own community turn against you#but like. its not discrimination or anything. its just people being asses#yeen rambles#ask
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my body is actually bullying me
everyday since i got home something aroubd my stomach has been hurting
today its literally just my stomach
fuck chocolate milk (but also not i love chocolate milk) (apparently i have a lactose sensitivity i thibk???)
#lemonsrandomshit#im not lactose intolerant btw!!!#idk its just more sucky for my stomach when i have lactose#its been hurting for 3 hours the fuck#why do i keep whining and complaining about this anyway#it was my choice to drink the chocolate milk and im the one suffering for it#i need to stfu mb
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collection of heinrix moments in which he's about to kill the lord captain with his mind
#warhammer 40k#rogue trader#incredible game. this is my first exposure to this world and im just in awe of how much everything sucks. its great.#every companion hates each other. at best you can be Slightly Less Sucky than most people and then everyone disapproves of it.#talks#i still dont wanna use twt again can u tell
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