#its just one of those things where we are meant to be but im afraid of commitment to someone who is too good for me. DAMN SHAME.

[taiyami]

The fact that I don't selfship with present mic is kind of a huge surprise unbeknownst to me considering he fits all the specific criteria for one

- Emotionally Married to his Best Friend

- Physically married to his job

- Least Normal Hair Choice

- Off putting to literally everyone who isn't a freak of nature

- ANNOYING.

- Male Wife

- ???

- Profit

[plutonianeris]

a message from 13 year old you ‧₊˚✩彡 [letter] 💓🍬

this is a general reading. take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. ⛓️ *･῾ ᵎ⌇ ⁺◦ if you feel guided to: tip jar💘 ✧.*

Pile one ‧₊˚✩彡

"what did I tell you? I always knew it would work out in the end. I was always knew the pain wasn't going to last forever. It hurt to be treated that way by the people closest to me, especially the women in my life. there was always so much confusion growing up. people would say pretty things but there body language would show something else. I felt caged in my connections. But I always had some faith. I always had a feeling that the universe was watching out for me... for us. that it was sending us signs. that eventually I would be able to enjoy life to the fullest without feeling guilty for it. without feeling like I had to compare myself to the versions of me that they wanted me to be. I hope you know now that those versions don't exist. that we weren't born to be dolls for other people to dress up and control and shove words and opinions in their mouth and to gargle and spit back up. I doubted my intellgience so much.. underestimated my creativity. but looking at you now.. looking at us... I feel so proud. dont forget about me please! I always believed in you. even on those days where you couldnt stand to look in the mirror. I was on your side this whole time, its just that sometimes you werent listening. But now looking at you, you are everything I ever wanted to be. Im so glad I didnt give up. You deserve it all. the world. your dreams. im rooting for you. heres to more blessings and abundance."

Pile two ‧₊˚✩彡

"remember the way everyone would make fun of us for the weird things we did? Our odd expressions and the questions we asked and how we laughed out loud and our desire to see the world. how it always labeled as silly. I know it had made us dull our self expression for a little while. How we forced ourselves to shrink down, to fake laugh to the mean comments, or "oh this? not a big deal" or "its not that good.." so many of those... just to blend in better with our friends and family at the time. to make them like us. to see if that would make them stop criticizing so damn much. I hope we no longer are letting comments like that slide. I hope we dress like the way we always wanted to in our head but were to afraid to wear out. I hope we didn't let the world extinguish our playful nature. life felt like heartbreak after another. what do you know about love? youre just a kid. they deformed the way we saw it for a long time. but not anymore. It makes me emotional.. the way you never let go my hand. and how you always carried me along with you in your heart. Of course, now you call me your inner child. Or I guess inner teen. Ha, inner tween. Thank you for always being my friend. I see now that you are always what I was meant to be. Out of all the stars in the sky, we shine the brightest, you and me."

Pile three ‧₊˚✩彡

"you are so beautiful... wow we really are so different now. But I still see hints of me in you. in your smirk and your mischievous laugh and in your questioning glances and sharp stare when someone gets a little bit too close to our personal space. I admire the way your presence can make someone nervously glance away. I use to feel so powerless.. so many things I did to try to gain some control, even if it meant hurting myself and pushing away the people I love. I love how vulnerable you are. I really did see it as a weakness but looking at you now, it makes me realize how brave you are. of putting yourself out there despite the uncertainty. of taking that chance even if could end up badly. even if you could end up with a broken heart it seems like you no longer find sastification in staying in the darkness. I understand, its.. well, lonely... being alone. Do you think you could take me with you? That part of you... that is still afraid. do you think you could tell me? tell me that I am not broken or incomplete that there is nothing wrong with me. that I am not the worst thing that has ever happened to me or will happen to me. Reassure me? Tell me that some things we have to do even when we are afraid. that its terrifying and nerve wracking and makes our palms sweat. but then once we do it, it's glorious, it's liberating, it's everything we have ever dreamed of and more. I see it now. Take me with you. Do you see me? I see you. The way you look at the world and want to devour it. I see you now, with a crown atop your head. how you wear it so gracefully..."

Pile four ‧₊˚✩彡

"So many times.... I was so close to giving up. to listening to that little voice in my head that kept telling me over and over again that there was no point. that the feeling and the ache in my chest would last forever. that it was always going to be me versus the world. me versus me. that everything around me would always be dull and gray and that I would always be blue. I doubted my self-worth so much. It was practically non-existent. I still do in some ways now when I pop up and invalidate the way you feel, shrugging my shoulders wondering if maybe we are actually deserving of this happiness... of this success. it feels foreign. like its not really mine.. well, ours. We're not in a really good situation right now and my parents are trying to hide things from me that im just too big now to pretend not to notice. they don't make me feel that protected anymore. and that hurts me a lot. whose gonna take care of me now? Im so glad youre here now. Im so glad we got to grow up and that we survived. and im so glad that now that we survive we can actually live. Thank you for reminding that we can let go now. that theres no room for a pity party anymore. thank you for letting me know that your'e not going to leave me behind. thank you for keeping my memory alive. thank you for looking back at me with kind and loving eyes. but most of all, thank you for fighting for me. I know I can easily lie and say "everything is fine" but thank you for showing me that it eventually it is. thank you proving to me that eventually I will say its fine. its okay. its great even. and that I, that we, actually mean it."

© plutonianeris

[thatdeadaquarius]

Genshin Sagau (?) Isekai Brainrot - Language

I've seen like ONE small kinda related Genshin Sagau/isekai idea for this but I wanted more of it so BAD

It’s not the most interesting thing in the world, it’s about our modern vernacular vs. Teyvat's flowery speech

Pls feel free to expand on or add to this pLEASE TAG ME IF U DO IM STARVING OUT HERE :)))

So I saw someone write like one sentence abt this (can’t remember who :( sorry I’ll update if I find them ) or like a brutally honest version??

But I also took inspo from how fucking wordy and long conversations that are in Genshin, even with ppl like Xiao (the rude boy that he is) or even Tighnari who gets to the point pretty quickly

It goes smth like:

So, all of Teyvet, (esp ppl like Zhongli 💀 u know the ones) talk,, flowery.

Like, the whole Pride and Prejudice style speaking, euphemisms, metaphors, for some characters (or Npcs) its full on POETRY. 

Lookin’ at you Kazuha.

.

And going off of any variation of you being the Creator, (or otherwise an older mythical being?), they could have this thing where the older a deity/mythical thingy is, the simpler the speech. 

Kinda makes sense to them y’know? The older beings are serious, commanding, intimidating

And nothing says "I'm ancient as fuck and powerful as fuck" like simple blunt speech.

And being closer to the literal creation of the world, language would understandably be less complex (I’m assuming it’s the same as in human cultures in our world's history)

Like literally look at our fantasy typical stories, plenty of them have a dragon or ancient god that speaks in extremes, like so flowery its a metaphor, or so bluntly its startling (ie, "Be not afraid." "I am all powerful." etc etc)

And so, ancient powerful being = direct/blunt speech

..

…

...Y'know,, almost like our modern vernacular.

Like, part of some of our modern day comedy is purely based on a sentence being delivered bluntly for impact

Hell our ads and videos and content in general we always want to get to the point, to say things simply

So with this in mind, even if you try to deny being the Creator, they might still think you are, or at least a more minor ancient deity/creature

 .

(like the Seven Sovereigns/Phanes/Shades/etc. for example would sound eerily modern or at least easy for you to understand bc of this trait lol)

(Also I'm just assuming u know Genshin lore enough to know what I meant by that ^)

____

So, I love the AU where you just,, hitch a ride with the traveler like Paimon bc u start at the "beginning of the game",

And with every person you meet, you're like, "Ok, no, I promise this is just how my country/world speaks, it's not like that, I'm not some ancient deity…" 

And They're all like 🤨🤨🤨 "Well, fine traveler and companions, why does your speech sound so simplistic and sharp? Surely, you do not expect me to truly believe you.."

You: "Please I just talk like this, I'm a regular human."

Them: "Alright, if it is as you say,, you wish to not experience being "known" yes? Fear not, I will keep your secrets close to my chest."

You: "No, for the last time, that's not-" 

.

And it just keeps happening, lol

.

(srry I tried my best at emulate Genshin language + flowery speech idk how to do it)

.

Like maybe you would just sound weird or like a foreigner speaking y’know in simpler sentences bc they don't know the language as well as native speakers, at least that could be how you sound to NPCs and ppl who don’t know abt simpler speech meaning

.

...But the Adepti? Zhongli?? Barbatos maybe??? Even the Aranara??? Those who are old enough to maybe have heard how older beings speak or at least have knowledge of how they should speak/sound??

You couldn’t have predicted how shocked their faces were the second you opened you’re mouth… 

Sumeru scholars would freak tf out i stg, as soon as you meet Haypasia, she's already losing it, first the Irminsul progress, now this ancient being/Creator?? Girlie thinks its a sign lmao

.

(I’m an Aether lover, and also bc I think Lumine looks badass as Abyss ruler, so I’m gonna go with Aether for traveler sorry Lumine mains love yall T-T)

.

You, and Aether being equally confused at first pLEASE 😭 

lets say he speaks a little more fluffy than you at least, after all I’m assuming bc of the outfit that he’s from a fantasy-like place, and his replies can be a little fluffy like Teyvat’s residents, so he kinda fits in, kinda like everybody assumes he's just from another country when he gets to a new nation (at least that’s what I think happens??)

.

Like after (maybe Diluc?) Lisa, Kaeya, Venti, and Jean (who I think would all be knowledgeable, thru diff means, about this enough to maybe recognize the simpler speech = ancient god thing)

ALL reacted shocked as hell at hearing you talk, and would probably explain (or Paimon before then?) in that infuriatingly roundabout way, that you would usually skip a couple dialogue boxes just to avoid bc yOU ALREADY GOT THE POINT or alternatively WHATS THE POINT HERE?? JUST SAY IT, WHATS THE COMMISSION/QUEST FOR/WHAT DO I DO??

(Those blue highlights be savin my impatient life, and i actually like lore stuff 💀)

.

Oh that’s also another frustration. For you.

.

It would drive me crazy if I had to wait like,, 2-3 minutes for ppl to explain what they ate for dinner or sm shit

Like, now imagine that’s everyone, about everything.

You don’t know how anything gets done in battles or wars, like you need faster communication for that right??💀

.

Anyway, you, Aether and Paimon decide you just gotta not talk when you first meet people or like,, make sure you're gonna be around that person for a while so you don’t have to possibly get someone over the shock of your speech every time you guys talk to people 😭 that'd be so miserable I can already tell,,

Like at first, every convo ya’ll have had with people who recognize that direct speech trait as a thing, would take at least 10 minutes to finish talking about it/being shocked,,

It got so old so fast.

.

(Like I already can’t communicate that good with ppl irl bc I misunderstand them, or they do me, or they just dont get what I mean, and as my friends put it, which I think would fit here for any language shenanigans we go thru in Teyvat, "A Shakespearean level of misunderstanding, hilarious but such a downward spiral to watch, it just gets more and more ridiculous as it goes on...")

.

On another note, making fun of someone would be so fucking funny,

I’d like to give myself the benefit of the doubt that many characters, after getting used to your speech, would generally understand you (even if they always notice it, like an accent) and would actually rlly love hearing insults or even just generally how you would put things

(like maybe treating this almost like those vids of ppl with non-native english speaknig relatives/parents and its the most hilarious thing to watch them, usually get pissed 😭, at their kid, if u dont know what I mean look up on tiktok or smth)

And You just come off like those insults where you dont even use cuss words, you just like, drag queen read them into never showing their face again, and you did it in so few words!! 

They're amazed and oh, 

you've become the John Mulaney of Teyvat 

(Bad examples include:

Fontaine inventor: "...And I shall call my invention, crocks!"

You: "I wouldn't even be cremated in those." ) 

*Aether crying laughing in the background bc he never knows what you’re gonna say next, and Paimon's jaw dropped so hard

JFC this post is so long sorry, I probably will spam with a Part 2 but let me know if you’re interested in hearing more anyway!!

Thanks for reading this rambling!!

Or send in asks abt this 👀

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

[9w1ft]

Hey… I like how this page is still chill and calm despite everything happening around. Because it’s so difficult to be a TS fan right now. Like what is happening? Not a single post acknowledging the election, decking herself in red, hanging out with those people :/ it’s getting difficult, because we interpret her clothes, everything she does. Shouldn’t we also interpret what she is showing right now?? I know it’s part of her job. But then couldn’t she have picked a more moderate player someone whose support systems don’t scream maga?? This is a deliberate choice she has made. To fill the pockets of people who are wildly conservative. It’s not even about Kaylor anymore. So many years since that documentary and her so called growth and for her to turn around and do this to her image. I just :/

i don’t think that there is any one correct way to react so please don’t take this as me trying to prescribe a certain way of thinking about it onto everyone, it’s just my way of taking things in. i deeply recognize and respect your sentiments. let me share a bit about where im coming from

i think firstly, i came into this thing in early 2018, during the first trump presidency, and so these big level developments are more like a return to the environment from which i started. i think that it is probably even harder if you’re a gaylor or kaylor that came in to things after 2020. not saying it can’t be hard anyway, it is, but i think this might help give a little background to my mindset

next, i always saw miss americana as a coming out documentary that was pivoted and transformed into an activism-adjacent documentary. at the time a lot of us foresaw what this issues with that would come to be, and i think a lot of us recognized that she was setting herself up for very big image issues unless she took the new direction of the documentary in stride, which some of us assumed would not be something to expect. like, we had hope, but we were able to recognize how nuanced her particular situation was. like i think for a lot of us, the line in anti hero “did you hear my covert narcissism disguised as altruism like some kind of congressman” meant a ton because it showed a level of self awareness about the situation that we all assumed she had but didn’t have many straightforward examples to point to that said as much.

also i think that her unsuccessful attempt to unseat marsha blackburn in 2020 probably sent her spiraling back into the mindset she was in in 2016. that is to say, and im sorry this is an armchair psychologist thing to say but its based on what i observed from miss americana, subsequent interviews, and some of the lyricism of midnights, that taylor might worry deeply that her actions might affect political races negatively, and she might even feel cursed, or afraid of ruining things, by saying something. i don’t want to get into what i or we might think about that from an ethics standpoint because i think it’s an endless conversation but i think its worth pointing out that there is a level of stress that she probably feels that may paralyze her in ways that might not make sense to you or i. once again, im just trying to offer a potential answer as to why, not to make some sort of excuse.

then, past 2020, with the way i see things with kaylor, i believe taylor re-prioritized to focus more on her loved ones than to feedback from her fans. does this explain every move she has made since? not entirely, but i think it is somewhat more understandable —at least to me— than the popular gaylor notion that taylor is single gay and trying to dismantle the system.. or dating some other woman, the potential options of which get floated around do not seem, to me at least, to be people whose circumstances would make it difficult for her to come out or to express her political opinion. the stakes are simply not there for me, so i find these possibilities less likely whereas i find kaylor to offer several more likely scenarios

i’m sorry.. ive rambled on again haven’t i.

as for the way things are going presently, it sure ain’t ideal!! but i’ve decided to believe that the majority of taylor’s decisions up until now were considered and implemented with some level of thought and intention on her part, weighing the benefits and risks to herself and to some extent, the world, but that her thought process and decision making is informed by information and pressures the likes of which you or i simply cannot fully know. i believe that, if i was in her shoes, i would be able to understand how grey a lot of the choices are for her. empirically speaking, a lot of them would still probably not make sense to me but, i believe my ability to understand would deepen.

i think for me what i have decided for myself is that blogging about kaylor here on tumblr is something that is interesting to me and fulfilling in all these weird internet ways, and that so long as i find it worthwhile to my life and so long as i keep meeting and hearing from you or others that tell me they appreciate my.. i guess.. more lighthearted?… approach to it? ill continue. i think its a kind of internet record worth keeping.

also, throughout the years i’ve just reconfirmed again and again for myself that we as fans really do not have an affect on taylor’s or karlie’s actions, especially contemporarily. and i think this has also lifted a little bit of the stress i used to place on myself under the assumption that maybe they might read some of our blogs or our feedback and that maybe i or we had some responsibility to affect them in some way. i just don’t think that’s the case, as they provedly do not listen to the big stuff. and even if they did, i doubt we have the background information needed to provide a truly informed opinion. and oh, i guess, maybe they check in idk idk idk who knows but, i now see this all as an activity in observation chiefly and maybe once in awhile if we are lucky, a comet might pass on by.

ack! i’m rambling again.

i guess one more parting thought related to this in a way is, when i came to tumblr back in 2018, there were a handful of blogs that had a similar setup or demeanor as my blog currently does, and, especially after late 2018, but late 2019 as well, and again in 2020, and i guess again in 2021 😆, i watched as one by one these types of blogs resigned or deactivated. and within this landscape, i recognized there was a need for blogs like these. if they all disappeared… well… it wouldn’t have been good for the ecosystem and the people living it. so as the years went by i continued to build my outlook and blog into what it is presently. hopefully it is useful or provides some space for you or other to unfurrow your brow for a second. rest is also important.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i always considered saiki aro, but you make me really rethink with kubosai. .

THATS SO LOVELY, i know you didnt ask but.. im going to take this opportunity to talk a little about my stance on kubosai and saiki's sexuality.. i mean i have talked about it multiple times but still, lots of people dont see what i see in these things sooo im gonna keep talking about it lol..

(under the cut cuz i made this WAYYY longer than i meant to, sorryyyy..)

i still see saiki as aroace personally !! just not romance repulsed aroace, rather just on the aroace spectrum.. i think hes the type of person to use 'queer' and 'aroace' as umbrella terms for himself instead of caring about specific labels, but if i had to, i would say he fits best with demi based on my interpretation.. (i usually see him as with no preference, but based on the text its easy to see him as having a preference for men too..)

i do get why people would see him as romance repulsed and its a lovely hc, but i see saiki as mlm, at least in the way i interpreted it.. i mean, he almost straight up says he has a crush on satou in the manga.. its great if people interpret it as a 'squish,' but i personally dont see that,, he kinda blatantly threw them in a romance chart together, blushes every time he sees him, etc. HOWEVER aroace people who relate in some way and project their experiences onto saiki will ALWAYS be valid, so i dont care !! i literally do that lmfao im an aroace lesbian,,

anyway, saiki has a lot of silly tsundere moments that lots of people who dont really look at the show past surface level (and usually dont read the manga) see as him literally hating his friends, family, romance, etc when its very much shown how hes being a tsundere and he LOVES his friends, family, AND romance.. (canonically loves romance not as in he definitely experiences romantic attraction, but as in he just is weirdly into love stories and such but wont admit it lmao, i talk about that chapter where he gets obsessed with those strangers love story he saw with psychometry but its just so good lol..) so i think that misinterpretation is where a lot of the discourse in this fandom comes from, like people who think he GENUINELY hates teruhashi ? they r literally best friends he cares about her so much..

kubosai is a ship i started loving, not really from seeing their canon interactions, but from analyzing the characters in the manga and seeing who i think would actually fit together and have a good dynamic..

im very weak for characters who are ashamed of their dark past, afraid of their own strength and that they might hurt the people they love, scared to tell their loved ones their secrets, etc.. and kuboyasu and saiki fit the bill perfectly, so i looked at them and immediately thought BOOM what if they were in love..

their dynamic is fun, even though we didnt get a lot of canon interactions.. theyre so similar yet SO different at the same time..

they both have pretty tragic pasts and family lives, both VERY protective of their friends and family and would do anything for them, both have bad coping mechanisms (mostly refusing to acknowledge that anything is really wrong at all), etc.. and yet, theyre almost opposites in the way they actually carry themselves..

saiki appears apathetic at all times in front of others even though his internal monologue or how he expresses himself when hes alone can be really emotional.. kuboyasu is pretty happy all the time even though he has pretty thinly veiled anger about half the time..

kuboyasu is just a human boy who was taught to take up as much space as possible for his survival, defend himself with his fists, honesty and loyalty and trust are essential, etc, while saiki is an almost-god whose upbringing taught him to try his best to take up NO space at all for his survival, dont get involved unless its from afar, dont get close with anyone, dont trust anyone, etc..

saiki prefers to protect his people from in the shadows, going as far as to literally stalk them to make sure theyre okay without their knowledge, while kuboyasu is unafraid to show how much he cares and prefers to literally come out swinging to protect his people.. put them together and you get two silly guys who will literally protect the other with their life despite knowing damn well that theyre both fully capable of protecting themselves..

kuboyasu is also like.. one of the only people in the cast other than saiki who can be like.. a voice of reason sometimes.. he would be so good for saiki and would make damn sure he knows when hes being irrational or dramatic (because cmon, its saiki.. hes such a drama queen all the damn time..) and i just think he needs that in his life..

yasu would reign saiki in when it comes to his everyday dramatics, and in turn saiki would reign yasu in when it comes to his over the top romance standards (and probably his anger issues and overreactions too..) and yet at the same time they would take comfort in each others silliness.. saiki may be like "we cant just drop out and get married, thats not how it works" but isnt it so refreshing for him to have someone that cares about him so unconditionally ?? unlike his own family ?? itd scare him at first, but hed make yasu tone it down to a healthier extent and itd become soo comfortable..

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

READINGS AVAILABLE : ORACLE READINGS, ASTROLOGY & NUMEROLOGY AND MUCH MORE <3

Hi! Im an oracle and have been doing readings for 7 years. So I prepared a small list of some of the tarot readings I’m doing for you all to choose from.

Here is a list of all the readings I do. They go from $5 to $25 At the moment.

ONE QUESTION - $ 5

THREE QUESTIONS - $ 10

FIVE QUESTIONS - $20

~ CHART OF THE SOUL ~ $25

What are you here to do? What is your path?  What is blocking your soul from truly expressing what it is here to do?

I’ll cover gifts and talents and what your soul contract is in this lifetime!

~ ANCESTRAL READING~ $25

I focus on connecting to your ancestor team, showing you the way they would like for you to go. Also just helping you communicate with them is key here. Whatever they want to let you know at this time is the focus of this reading.

~PAST LIFE READING~  $25 Dollars 

I love this one. Our past lives shows us what karma, gifts, strengthens and weaknesses we have. I bring insight into these old lives and show you the keys to how to utilize the power of our past lives! 

~ MONEY READING ~ $ 25

Reading your energy around money, seeing what's in store for you and also anything that needs to be worked on. Any blockages, any gifts you may have in making money will be focused on this reading! Figuring out what you must do to shift the energy of money in your life, so on and so forth.

~THE SHADOW~  $25 

What is hiding deep beneath the surface within you?

Our shadow is always trying to speak, but yet we hide from who we truly are.

The shadow is nothing to be afraid of, which is why bring awareness to what lies inside those eyes of yours?

~ ROMANTIC LOVE READING ~ $25

A general love reading where I focus on when you will receive love and also tap into your energy field and see what issues or any blockages tainting your connects with love. 

What lessons, trials and tribulations have you gone through, cycles you have been repeating in the acts of love if necessary? 

There is so much in store and its my most favored readings from people so yeah check it out <3

We'll tap into so much, how to tap into your sensuality, romantic energy and much more. Just send me a dm and we'll get into it.

 If you have a specific question we can also go for that as well. 

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Are you ready to change your story? If you're ready to take that leap, spirit will give me just the answer. It's time to make a way when it feels like it isn't one. If you gotta lose something just to do something then this is where I come in to give you guidance.

Risks you need to take

Luck, how it comes thru you and where you should apply this knowledge

How your vibration moves to get what it wants. Being yourself is the key to getting all the answers

Moving out of your own way : What is it that needs a lift in your life? What needs to change?

For the closing piece , sometimes we tend to control our destiny when it isn't necessary. So be calm with yourself and learn to allow things to be. You can't control the answers you seek. You'll have to force yourself into driving steady and get on cruise control. Get it?

Where is your consciousness ? $ 20

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capture the shadowy thoughts that are hidden.

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Where does your energy need to be applied?

How to accept yourself? $ 15. 99

So this one is to help those who've lost there way, needing a pick me up and to remember thyself. You are loved, you are amazing and you are incredible. But why don't you see it? We will touch on some wounds that do need healing, and I will also show you the route to take for your beauty/self love rituals to be at its best.

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What makes you well liked and what do people like about you?

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How to embrace your beauty !

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Seeing 222? 555? 999? Seeing other strange numbers like 432 or maybe even 743 for example? Just anything random. Usually these are guides and ancestors trying to talk to use, sometimes even our highest self. Each number that shows itself to us has its own unique message. So whatever the number is trying to show you, is so that you can grow in whatever the energy of the number is expressing.

I'll answer up to 4 !

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Hey I have some more options for people who are interested in getting a reading.

Higher Self Oracle Spread

A small reading on what your higher self wants you to know.

In this reading I'm focusing on the higher self and empowering you. It's time to let go of that lower self energy, its holding you back. Our higher selves are connected to who we truly want to be and who we really are deep inside.

There's somethings I can get into about your personality/aura in general but for now here are some things I touch on in this reading:

What you need to focus on right about now

The vision your higher self has for you

What energies you need to be aligning with at this time 

Your aura and what it shows in the inside out

Letting go of Trauma

Why is this not going away? What can I do to fully heal? Remember, dealing with trauma takes time. Not an easy lift. But there are some ways we can heal our vibration through the acts of different activities, abilities, and vocations.

What is hidden from you?

What blockages do we need to uncover? 

What pain, trauma, and behavior patterns are constantly driving you in the same cycle?

How those the shadow help heal your past wounds? 

What can you do to allow the shadow express its value more to you.

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This one is a small reading on the animal spirit guide that is connected to you at the moment. My focus is based on the energy in THIS ready. Sometimes animals can come up with a message for you so this is where I am coming from. Each animal shows a message with certain warning, talents, guidance and so on so forth. This is one of my fun readings so I hope y'all enjoy.

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I only do four at a time a month, because this takes a lot up a lot of time. 

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[armslikeanchors]

my first meal today is breakfast cereal at 1:00pm

im looking at this picture and reflecting after a short text convo with my best friend after 3 days of silence on her side

she’s pictured here

took this photo when i went on a solo trip to oakland california to visit her for a couple days, im surprised my mom let me take the plane by myself

i actually really love the airport and plane trips. it was my first time going by myself and it was a bit daunting but, i really love being alone sometimes

it felt natural, i felt grown, in a good way

anyways i took this photo while on a walk with her and her mom at a botanical garden-park in san fran, if i remember correctly

3 months after this we would have a falling out over something miniscule, which we overcame a bit over a month ago this year; i’ll get into it in a bit

sam, my best friend, and i had been inseparable since the day we met in 2nd grade

by the end of the school year she moved back to california, but we kept in contact: playing minecraft on our ps3s while on a skype call

simple times

every year we would meet up maybe once or twice for a day or two since then

in october of 2023 she got upset at me over a text i sent her regarding a festival we wanted to go to

i told her that i had a couple friends going to the festival and that i hope she wouldnt mind if i was really invested in spending time with them, since i had never hung out with them before

it was never meant in the way she took it, but the damage was done

i guess she felt i wouldnt make her feel included

which i wish she knew wasn’t true

she can be dramatic at times. growing up together shes always been like that and, in a way, i admired it because it was silly. it was raw, and she would apologize and own up to any little thing she did.

i dont tell her or her mom often but, ive truly always believed that her mom really raised her well. ive always supported sam through everything and i know she’ll make the life she dreams of

anyway to the reflecting:

i texted her i believe early august (i tried looking for the message but they wont load)

and apologized that what i said came off as rude but that it wasnt intended to be that way

she apologized too for taking it the wrong way and we admitted to each other that things have been hard and that our friendship-breakup had been eating away at us since then

the whole time i believed she was over me and didnt care, as i fall victim to overthinking and drawing conclusions (though i have learnt since then that things arent always worst-case scenario)

she visited me in august and we spent a day together (sleepover, junk food, movies and all) and we caught each other up on everything that had happened since october in the mall food court

i was annoyingly loud about things since i get heated over certain topics but, in the moment, i didnt care if i made a fool of myself in front of everyone there because i was just glad to have my best friend back

cut to today and ive realized that since our hangout, she hasnt been talking to me much. i get it though because shes starting college and met the sweetest boy, and im proud of her

im just afraid that we’ve grown too different.

its one of those cliche moments where one friend gets in a relationship and does things in life and the other one is sitting, waiting for a text back

it feels kind of pathetic but im trying not to let it get to me

i dont know,

the day we hung out was really nice but i get this gut feeling with people thats nearly always, unfortunately, true

in which

we’ve grown so different it seems they’re not the same person anymore

i dont know if shes truly my best friend anymore, yknow

shes made several friends since our falling out, friends that she does activities her and i would do when we got to meet up

even trips together like we did !! which is really cool !

anyway, ill love her forever but, the distance was so long and the taste of it all was so bitter i dont know if theres hope for recover anymore

i tell my friends: losing someone in your life makes space for people you never knew could make life feel worth living

maybe that’s what’s happening

the scary part is that only time will tell

but thats okay, here i am

[lgchyoseop]

LGC4TH GIFT FROM CHA HYOSEOP, CHA SORI, KIM CHERRY AND JUJU!

hello everyone and happy fourth year anniversary to lgc! hyoseop was my third time joining, and i'm so glad to have stayed ~~~ as a small gift (who took way longer than intended) i've gathered 92 quotes, and let a generator choose a quote for every muse! it took a while to find all these quotes, so i'd love for you to check out what quote your muse got! it's under the cut below :3

( btw you can use ctrl+f to search for your muse(s)'s name)

ahn jaehwa “Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave” - Mary Tyler Moore

ahn jaesun “Never give up on a dream just because of the time it’ll take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway” - Earl Nightingale 

ahn nari “Success is a journey, not a destination” - Ben Sweetland

ahn yein “Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced” - Soren Kirkegaard 

ayutthaya maya “The sea is dangerous and its storms terrible, but these obstacles have never been sufficient reason to remain ashore” - Ferdinand Magellan

baek byeongkwan “Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict” - William Ellery Channing

baek seona “You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great” - Zig Ziglar

cha hyoseop “If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door” - Milton Berne

cha sori “You have not failed until you quit trying” - Gordon B. Hinckley 

chen mailyn “When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it” - Henry Ford

cho minkyu “Sometimes good things fall apart, so better things can fall together” - Marylin Monroe

choi kai “Dreams do not have an expiration date, you can always keep trying” - Unknown

choi kyungsoo “Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star” - W. Clement Stone

gong hyejoo “Fairytales are more than true: not because they tell us dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten” - Neil Gaiman

han brooke “Success only comes to those who dare attempt” - Mallika Tripathi

han hyunhee “The elevator to success if out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time” - Joe Girard

han jisoo “Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do” - John Wooden

han keeho “Do not fear mistakes, there are none” - Miles Davis

han noeul “I will either find a way or make one” - Hannibal

han rowon “Success is falling nine times and getting up ten” - Jon Bovi Jovi

hou minghao “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward” - C. S. Lewis

im yunseo “I’d rather attempt something great and fail than to attempt nothing and succeed” - Robert H. Schuller

jeon haru “You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water” - Rabindranath Tagore

jo daeul “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10.000 ways that won’t work” - Thomas A. Edison

kang maximilian “Failure is not the opposite of success; it’s part of success” - Arianna Huffington

kang minjun “Don’t let life discourage you; everyone who got where they are, had to begin where they were” - Richard L. Evans

kang yoojoon “If you can believe it, the mind can achieve it” - Ronnie Lott

kim alex “Failure is a detour, not a dead-end-street” - Zig Ziglar

kim cherry “It is best to act with confidence, no matter how little right you have to it” - Lillian Hellman

kim jinhyuk “In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can” - Nikos Kazantzakis

kim jinseo “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” - Elearnor Roosevelt 

kim jinyoung “Focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase” - Unknown

kim nayoung “I wasn’t afraid to fail. Something good always comes out of failure” - Anne Baxter

kim seyoon “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’” - Audrey Hepburn

kim yujin “If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain” - Dolly Parton

kuramoto misaki “Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you plant” - Robert L. Stevenson

kurosawa akio “There’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in” - Leonard Cohen

kwon baekhyun “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again” W. E. Hickson

kwon hyuntae “Trust yourself, you know more than you think you do” - Benjamin Spock

kwon sena “Your life is a journey, not a race” - Unknown 

lai wenjun “Define success on your own terms, achieve it by your own rules, and build a life you’re proud to live” - Anne Sweeney

lee hanbyul “A journey, no matter how long, still begins with the first step” - Lao Tzu

lee hyunsoo “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that” - Pipi Longstocking

lee jiho “If you fell down yesterday, stand up today” - H. G. Wells

lee minji “The secret of getting ahead is getting started” - Mark Twain

lee yejin “I hold it true, what’er befall, I feel it, when I sorrow most. Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all” - Alfred, Lord Tennyson

lee yushin “Time you enjoyed wasting, was not wasted” - John Lennon

lim sanghyun “Make failure your teacher, not your undertaker” - Zig Ziglar

liu yuxi “Failure is success if we learn from it” - Malcolm Forbes

min hanbin “You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great” - Zig Ziglar

min soyoun “You’ve got to follow that dream, wherever that dream may lead” - Elvis Presley

moon hayoung “Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great” - John D. Rockefeller

moon jiah “We may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated” - Maya Angelou

moon jino “Being lost is not bad, as it is what happens before you find your way” - Unknown

moon somin “Follow your dreams, they show which way to go” - Unknown

noh areum “Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine” - Mario Fernández

oh eunhye “Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck” - Dalai Lama

okada mayumi “Even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward” - Victor Kiam

paeng jinae “Just because everything is different, doesn’t mean anything has changed” - Irene Peter

pak jihan “Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenge, wish for more wisdom” - Jim Rohn

park jaekyung “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or we can rejoice because thorn bushes have roses” - Abraham Lincoln

park jungmo “A person who never made a mistake, never tried anything new” - Albert Einstein

park seojin “If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results” - Jack Dixon

park taeha “Life isn’t about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself” - George Bernard Shaw

pongsak tee “Some people want it to happen, some wish it to happen, be someone who makes it happen” - Michael Jordan

sato minami “Turn your wounds into wisdom” - Oprah Winfrey

seo minseo “Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going” - Sam Levenson

seo nina “A failure is not always a mistake, it may simple be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying” - B. F. Skinner

seo yura “Tomorrow is a mystery, yesterday is history, and today is a gift, that’s why they call it present” - Kung Fu Panda

seong byungho “It is better to look ahead and prepare than look back and regret” - Jackie Joyner-Kersee

shin jieun “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you don’t stop” - Confucius

shin minhyuk “You have not failed, until you make failing stop you” - Unknown

somsri sofia “I love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars” - Og Mandino

son eunho “The only time you should ever look back, is to see how far you’ve come” - BTS

son haeun “Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

son nabi “The only thing that doesn’t change in life, is that thing changes” - South Park

su parker “Be not afraid of storms because you are learning how to sail your ship” - Louisa May Alcott

takanashi asami “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step” - Martin Luther King Jr.

watanabe miyu “I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination” - Jimmy Dean

won yeonwoo “You learn more from failure than success. Don’t let it stop you. Failure builds character”  - Unknown

xue yichen “Doubts kill more dreams than failure ever will” - Unknown

xue yiran “Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success” - Joyce Brothers

yamashita ichika “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” - Wayne Gretzky

yang aera “I can accept failure, everybody fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying” - Michael Jordan

yang aeri “To lose is still to learn” - Unknown

yoo daeho “Even if tomorrow the world would go into pieces, I would still plant my apple tree” - Martin Luther 

yoo haemin “In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear for failure” - Bill Cosby 

yoon minjae “Don’t let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning” - Robert Kiyosaki

yu milan “One that want the fruit, must climb the tree” - Thomas Fuller

zheng amelia “Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start” - Nido R Quebin zheng leo “You can’t connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards, so you have to trust that they will somehow connect in your future” - Steve Jobs

[jesterthebestsir]

To 🎩 anon (you turned off anon and I'm not sure if that was an accident or not),

"Dear jester I loved reading all that you had said, i found it rather interesting and i feel that we have the same way of processing each event, methodically and in order ! The situations are rather chaotic, but sifting through each element has helped me tremendously to sort out everything.

I deeply thank you for sharing all that with me.

Seems i relate to you even more now, i am also very mature for my age (same as you) and have become rather burnt out with my schooling and life just in general. I was in a period of time where I had lost all sense of feeling, as i had spent years and years tied to people and in lots of emotional turmoil. He got me out of a very awful time, showed me what true love and kindness was. Never have i experienced that in my life, nor did i ever want to. But now that i have, i don't ever want to let go. Even though he is turning 20 in 8 days

At first, i was scared. Couldn't tell him about that specific factor of me. Although recently, i did, and i somehow knew that he had already known, yet was still too afraid i'd get left again. Seems like he cant leave me either but i guess thats a little fucked up hahaha im glad you realise the pros and cons with your situation and know that although you're obsessed with her, you know its for the better to be apart. I am yet to learn that hahaah !

I find solace knowing we have had similar experiences, although how unfortunate they are, we will find what works for us and what helps us get better. I hope you dont mind my little rambling haha I love your posts tremendously and i am glad you are doing better!

i guess i should make an anon hmmm :3

-🎩 anon"

TL;DR: Find a way to wean off him

My situation seems to be somewhat different than yours as you're still in contact with him and know much more about him than I do about her, I'm not sure how deep your obsession is with him but I'll give you some things that'll at least help you wean off him:

Highlight his flaws:

For me, my obsession centered around entitlement and objectification; she was only a girl meant to help ME through MY problems and give ME comfort. Any time it seemed like I was doing something for her, it just so happened that my attempt of self-gratification just so happens to benefit her (EX: I want to kidnap you because I don't see you as your person, but something to be owned). The more I took the time to look at how she looked, her misspellings, and her overall demeanor, I stopped seeing her as a concept meant to please me and more as a person, a person I didn't want to date.

Consider your personality:

As I grew up and started to become my own person, I realized that my personality didn't mesh as well with hers; I was easily distracted, easily annoyed, mentally unstable, emotionally dependant, but physically distant, and hypersexual. That didn't go well with how naive, childish, and go with the flow she could be and that didn't sit right with me. What if I yell at her?! What if she's uncomfortable with my advances, how would I react? What if I become too dependant on her?! Would that annoy her?! Write about him:

I didn't write about her too much, but it did help me realize how truly fucked up our one-sided "relationship" was looking back (even just a day later) at my writings that were begging myself to let go of her really made me break those rose colored glasses

Hang out with friends more:

I know it's insanely cliche, but hear me out!

As I hung out with my friend more and talked to her less, I found myself becoming slightly more dependant on them as they were healthier to be around and can keep me from doing stupid stuff like contacting her again.

Indulge in fiction:

Around 2020, I found myself getting deep into a series (that I still love to this day) that kept my attention and slowly took over my brain, almost replacing my affection for her. I found so many characters that acted just like her and a lot of them annoyed me, which I think solidified my first point of only like her as a concept and not a person.

Consider the future:

Ask yourself: a couple years from now, when you're 18 (assuming you're a minor, but if not just imagine yourself older), do you see yourself with him?

Showing him off to your parents?

Doing mundane tasks non-romantic tasks like doing laundry?

What would being with him look like?

Do you want to get married to him? Have kids? Grow old?

How romanized is your future with him? When you look at your future with him do you see an ideal person, an almost god-like being with zero flaws or do you see him?

My answer to half of these questions was,"God no"

Like I said before, I don't know much about your situation; how long you've known him, how long you've talked to him, ect ect. so these might not be helpful, but I, at the very least, want you to distance yourself from him a bit, especially if the age gap is as bad as mine (16/21).

[jakowskis]

sloppy gay ramble about why i ship owento lets go

(this was meant to be a server ramble but it got too big for discord so here’s a ginormous messily formatted semi stream-of-consciousness type essay on why i ship owen x ianto and what’s compelling about it to me. starts out kinda babbly n then i got serious abt it n then i got babbly again so sorry for the tone switch fhsdjkfd. i do not know if this is cohesive, let alone persuasive, i'm not trying to sell you the ship so much as im yapping incoherently about the Themes n Motifs that drive me mad. but yeah. also this is purely based on the first two seasons of the show, nothing else. im not normal about these guys btw im Deranged. anyway here.)

for starters, background. i must explain what first roped me into this pairing. the answer? season 1 episode 12. singlehandedly. and then i felt Haunted for a while, and then i read some fic and something clicked in my head and it's been my torchwood otp since. im very consistently an enemies/rivals to lovers enjoyer so at first i was just like 'heh nice i love toxic yaoi' but then they decided not to leave me alone. and a lot of it's bc of the Themes 🫵 do not underestimate my ability to overthink and overcomplicate a barely-there relationship whose connotations are entirely subtextual

see, owen and ianto are mirrors in like ten ways, and where they're not mirrors, they’re foils. on the mirror end, their backstories are jarringly similar (abusive parental figure; rebellious phase as a youth (punk vs goth); losing their fiancée/serious girlfriend as a young adult to an alien threat). their relationships with jack are adjacent (emotionally unavailable authority figure they look to for approval; owen as jack's second in command versus ianto as his right hand man). most interestingly, imo, is their personalities. at their core, theyre not entirely different. owen in his backstory? he's a lot like ianto. faithful, loyal, quiet, gentle. they're not markedly different in who they are deep down, they just have extremely different coping mechanisms that make them look like opposites. ianto dissociates + turns things inward - owen self-destructs AND lashes out. owen's like a ianto that hardened and got mean - ianto's like an owen who still values being quiet and dutiful and not making trouble. (basically, history + personality-wise they’re mirrors, coping mechanism + temperament-wise, they’re foils. two sides of the same coinnnnn)

they both recognize this, although possibly not consciously - and it bothers them. ianto dislikes + feels threatened by / wary of owen's impulsivity and aggression (partly bc he fears he himself is like that deep down, and he isnt willing to access that part of himself. we see a handful of times that ianto does in fact have repressed anger and its SCARY. and i wouldnt doubt hes intimidated by that part of himself, given his control issues. esp considering his plot in adam, if you wanna read it that way). meanwhile owen dislikes ianto for what he perceives as subservience + weakness (partly bc those are things he sees in himself and HATES. a lot of owen's character is his struggles w his own nature + feeling a need to compensate for perceived deficiencies). and they also look down on each other for these qualities, and, i think, bolster themselves a little bit by comparing themselves to the other. we know owen does this (“it’s like you finally won.” “i didn’t know we were in competition.”), but considering ianto’s preoccupation with competency, i don’t doubt he also feels a little bit better about himself when owen fucks things up by acting rashly.

so ianto's like a version of owen that he tried to bury entirely and move on from when katie died, and owen's reminiscent of what ianto's afraid he's capable of becoming. and they both project these things onto each other - owen more outwardly, in the way he feels the need to attack ianto in both of their significant one-on-one scenes. in ianto we see it more as avoidance + slight disgust. in their lighter scenes ('lets all have sex', and the tin tin discussion) we see owen trying to be companionable (...can u call the sleeper scene that fhsdjkf) and ianto having none of it. funny enough, i think owen likes ianto more than ianto likes owen, at least by s2. liking aside, though, ianto does care for him. but another thing i like abt owento is owen's a litttttle bit fixated on ianto for some reason (i think it could be interpreted ten different ways, but him repeatedly bringing up ianto & jack's relationship is wiiiild to me) - n then ianto doesn't think abt owen much at all, he's just sort of there. it's fucking funny. i like a darker take on owento, as u can probs tell, but also they can be hilarious if you want them to be. two guys who can't stand each other and should kiss about it is always good. but yeah, as they exist in canon, as of s2, they're just sort of... comfortably colleagues, albeit maybe still a bit combative.

but i’m eternally caught up in what episode 12 teased me with. (and i knowww ep12 was specific desperate circumstances, that's not their norm, but what's presented when they're both at that point is soo compelling to me. i like characters at their worst.) see, episode 12 is when we really see that half-mirrors half-foils thing come to a head. owen’s spiraling because he just lost diane. he feels weak, he feels powerless. he’s essentially doing what ianto did in episode 4, putting love first, and you can tell owen was kind of disgusted with + felt betrayed by ianto in that ep, so he’s also being a hypocrite and breaking his own standards for how a torchwood agent ought to act. (not to mention i think owen deeply resents his own emotionality, but that’s another topic.) and during that spiral, ofc, he gets mean and frantic, in typical owen fashion. then we have ianto. despite the threat of losing jack, ianto does his best to stay level headed and focus on what their job is, rather than personal feelings - something owen usually values.

so there’s this moment where their traits are both blurring a bit, where roles are being swapped but without straying from the heart of each character, where the mirrors are RLLY reflecting each other (infinity mirror? on and on and on...). owen’s simultaneously being self-destructive and rash, but also vulnerable and love-lorn, which is something he looks down on ianto for in regards to lisa and then jack (and his verbal attack on ianto is majorly projection, too. ‘part time shag’ is especially notable when 1) him and gwen’s affair literally broke off last episode. owen was HER part time shag, and 2) him and diane were meant to be casual too and owen caught feelings - same as ianto with jack. major projection lawl. and we see owen do this multiple times, it’s a trait of his. another notable instance is him telling tosh “you want someone as broken and screwed up as you”, lmao).

and ianto’s being pushed to his limit, too; he’s trying to hold firm and stick to his values about the rules, but it’s the most hardened and merciless we ever see him. when you’re carefully watching, there’s a Brutality in him in a few key moments when he’s pointing that gun at owen and it’s SO critical to my understanding of + enjoyment of the character. i just find ianto’s inner darkness reallyyy compelling haha. my other fav ianto moment is “pray they survive” in meat. there’s something SCARY to him that the show doesn’t often bring out, and it’s what i find most intriguing about him. (both moments are also some of my fav bits of acting from gareth, too. i also think burn’s a much better scene partner for him than barrowman, there’s just something about the way they play off each other in ep12, man. i am… not always impressed by gareth’s acting, but in those scenes i think he’s brilliant.) 

so ep12 introduces the things that my concept of owento heavily revolves around - and then you expand upon it. see, the ship is almost entirely hypothetical. what they Could be - what they have the potential to be. that’s not everyone's thing, especially in a fandom with canon gay relationships, but i loveee it, and i love that there’s tons of freedom in it. it’s also fun as hell + very stimulating as a fanfic writer. other writers have done a lot too, there’s been many fantastic interpretations over the years - there’s a fair amount of rlly rlly good owento fic, particularly by one author back in 2007 who wrote t o n s of amazing stuff + rlly established a great dynamic that most other people have kind of followed (including me). my favorite take on owento (and, imo, the best, and the most plausible, one) is that they hooked up between s1 n s2, while jack was gone. i think its brilliant, i think there's a LOT of rlly insane connotations there + in a show like tw its not far-fetched, like i could see it happening. it's an extension of things we see in canon - for starters, when they’re desperate, they end up in bed with another member of the team. and then the way owen’s always in jack's shadow… gwen wanted jack from the start but she turned to owen instead bc he was there. the idea of that happening again, with a ianto who wants jack but can't have him… owen's consistent trend of being someone's mistake, of being someone’s second choice. his consistent tendency to be there when someone hits rock bottom to offer them a sexual reprieve. because he’s always down there himself, and misery loves company. he doesn’t like being alone in it. (torchwood and its persistent loneliness, btw.) and then there’s the recurrent theme of the power struggle between jack and owen - owen often wants to get one over on jack, which occasionally entails trying to covet the things jack has/wants… rubbing his grubby little hands all over jack’s toys. or maybe that’s just the only way he knows how to establish some claim over torchwood - sleeping with half the members. why not add another? why not give jack the finger a third time? i love drama 🕺

and on ianto’s end… for starters, owen’s a lot like jack in certain ways. a lot of it seems to be a front he puts on (and i wont get into the intriguing implications of owen choosing to or perhaps subconsciously emulating jack in certain respects when he started fresh at torchwood) - if ianto’s kind of like owen was, jack’s kind of like what he’s trying to be, he just doesn’t pull it off as well. not quite as good at being superficially charming. pulls it off in his own way, though. point is, despite the fact that canon implies ianto has zero interest in owen, some of the things he’s intrigued by with jack are in fact present in owen. the inaccessibility, the compensatory arrogance, the brooding, the intensity. this is arguably further present in gwen’s attraction to the both of them. there’s some surface level similarities that canon even seems to reflect on a few times (esp in s2). additionally, i don’t tend to think owen was in charge while jack was gone (i think he stepped back and let gwen do it, but maybe took charge during field missions, as implied by kkbb), but it’s an interesting angle in some owento fics, ianto gravitating towards whoever’s the boss. more than that, though, after losing lisa AND jack, he’d probably end up looking for someone else to preoccupy himself with, against his better judgement. a trait owen and him have in common, it just manifests in different ways. (and, finally, i think he'd also be compelled by the differences between jack and owen. owen's a complicated guy, but i think ianto understands him well enough. there's not really a mystery, he doesn't have to guess with him. owen straight-forward and a bit of an open book, and i think ianto might find that a relief.)

the other thing that compels me, and that i think would compel ianto, is that, oddly enough, owen's someone ianto ends up having power over pretty easily (although not without a fight). this is a sharp contrast to jack, where jack's always the dominating force (i dont mean that perversely, i mean, like, he's all-consuming), and ianto's always kind of at his mercy. a really interesting part of episode 12 is that neither of them, owen or ianto, really win, and yet they both score a victory over the other in different ways, too. owen successfully opens the rift; but ianto prevents him from doing so for quite a while, and does in fact shoot him over it. owen may have succeeded, but ianto established physical dominance by putting a bullet in him. which, cough. that in itself. and not to get additionally horny with it cuz thats not what this is about, but there’s this other really interesting bit in the episode that haunts me, as well: when ianto tells owen to go home, owen sneers at him and refuses, and then ianto stares him down - and owen caves. he’s still sneering, but he caves without fuss. that right there… is the crux of what i find so enthralling. owen, for all his rebelliousness + pride, does briefly bend to ianto’s will. but he does it in such an almost back-handed way, he twists it, almost like ‘you forced my hand, happy now?’ even though… ianto didn’t try hard in that moment to coerce him. owen gave in on his own free will, but had to feel like he’d been made to, and tried to twist it to take some of the ‘satisfaction’ away from ianto (even though it’s not about winning and losing to ianto, at least consciously)… the mind games u guys!!!

and on the flip side, the way ianto was able to come out on top (NO EUPHEMISM INTENDED I PROMMYYYY) simply by standing firm. not raising his voice, not being physically aggressive. he stood there and looked at him. thats insaneeeee. and that's a moment of control for him that he doesn't get in his onscreen relationship with jack, or in his career at torchwood. and we see it for just one moment the only time owen & ianto interact in an substantial way. there's so many crazyyy things that could come out of those two falling into something messy, and i think it's really interesting that the power dynamic that's implied by canon puts ianto in a position of power we don't get to see him in in his canon relationship with jack. i want to see more of a ianto who's not just an accessory to jack, who stands on his own two feet, and that ep is honestly the only time in all twenty-six s1 and s2 eps where that happens. he's not only owen's equal in that ep, he fights for control and manages to command things. that? is a ianto i'm endlessly intrigued by. and then there's the fact that this is all right after owen's gay little fight club episode, where we learn that owen's a guy who lovessss mixing homoeroticism with violence. not only that, the power plays and mind games mark and owen play with each other in ep 11 - ep 12 is a direct continuation of that, between ianto and owen. and thats SOOO sexy to me fhdsfjkds.

so we have something angry and visceral and raw - which isn't everyone's cup of tea but its my LIFEBLOOD. they bring out the worst in each other, the aspects of themselves that they dislike. and personally? im always compelled by ships that have that dynamic - but then they both get a bit Addicted to it. i LOVE the thematic theme of surrendering to the worst parts of yourself, and of being drawn in by the ugly parts of someone else. and i think there’d be smth rlly interesting in the form of them each realizing the other’s their mirror, as well. something almost self-punishing, potentially. lil bit psychosexual. i like the thought of owen recognizing that ianto’s more than meets the eye, recognizing that he’s got a sadism to him - i think he could be compelled to draw that out, because that’s already something we see with owen (most explicitly during the whole gwen affair). owen’s someone who wants to find someone as fucked up and lost as he is. we see this with gwen and diane - and we can deduce that's what drew him to suzie. but it should also be noted those relationships were all with women - in the show, as previously mentioned above, owen’s attraction to men is always associated with aggression, with violence. a lot to be said about that, and i have a wip essay on owen’s sexuality in my drafts, but the point is owen’s queerness exists in anger and in power struggles with other men - which makes it obvious to me, given how they're presented in ep12, that him and ianto’s relationship could very, very easily trip over the line into being something More. owen’s turned on by aggression, he’s canonically attracted to ianto - i really dont think it’d take much for him to make a move. particularly if jack were gone. and i could very easily see him ending up looking at ianto and thinking ‘hm. there's something fucked up about him. i bet i can make him worse’. 

and ianto… see, this is where it gets fun, and also where my personal interpretation deviates from most owento writers, because a lot of people write this pairing as very brutal; the ianto in owento fics is usually much harsher than any ianto i’ve seen elsewhere. it’s rarely ooc, bc we see that ianto in the show, just not often, and it’s one of his most interesting forms n i’m fond of him. that being said - i’m personally intrigued by the idea of ianto figuring owen out and realizing that aggression and casual sex isn’t what he really wants after all. owen’s soft, deep down, and there’s a need to be understood and cared for. that’s… kind of ianto’s specialty. and there’s an angle of power there, too. maintaining control in a way that simply being rough could never sufficiently achieve. because i dont tend to ship enemies-to-lovers in a way where the characters aren’t being self-serving and conniving. i like when two characters are exploiting each other and fucking themselves up in the process. that’s my shit. i especially like when it eventually becomes something that almost looks like a really bastardized version of love. all in all i think they just have the potential to bring some crazyyyy shit out of each other

um. theres a lot more i could say but this is already really long and i ran out of steam. basically i think they should have hatesex but then get obsessed with each other and wage psychological warfare on each other👍

[peensstuff]

eurovision 2023 was a MESS

ok, since everyone is raving about kaarija shouldve won (and rightfully so), im gonna try and get a bit of appreciation for some of the acts this year who DID NOT deserve how little points they got 

First of all: WILD YOUTH!

ok so i really dont understand how wild youth didnt pass through the grand final and end up with a top 10 finish? because they did SO WELL ON STAGE!! their golden shower on stage looked PHENOMENAL (hint hint) and their pre-recorded backing vocals were FLAWLESSSS, especially when backstage autotune conor sang for on-stage conor when his hands got too tired to hold the mic up to his mouth! 

i loved how conor was serving ‘child lost in the mall and cant find mummy’ realness with his captivating gaze and IMMENSE stage presence.. and while most acts this year stuck to serving metaphorical cunt, wild youth pulled themselves together to serve literal cunt too?!?!?! like tell me how that isnt deserving of a top 10 finish

lets take the time to mourn wild youth’s tragic deaths and move on to the next robbed act: CYPRUS

someone please tell me how he got 126 points in the final??? like i didnt even realise until the results were finished that he got to where he was on the scoreboard?? and then i was hit with such deep and profound waves of sadness because HOW. HOW DID CYPRUS GET THERE?

you know what, im going to be appreciative instead of bitter because you cant break a broken heart (rip ireland), and im going to say that im so glad that this beautiful song appealed to so many voters all across europe and the rest of the world because, frankly, i was terrified for andy’s chances in the final, and i didnt grasp how many people could appreciate the niche of love-island-shirtless-man-kisses-bikini-lady-as-they-make-up-from-a-5-second-fight-with-BOOM-wiwibloggs-eque-sound-effects (as opposed to the more popular genres like latvia’s)

im so happy for you, andrew lambrou, and even though i know that you and your grippers were robbed, i just want to say i that i wish you (and your grippers) a lifetime of success, and i hope that you (and, you guessed it, your grippers) receive many more 12 points from the greek jury in the future. 

moving on to another robbed act.. POLAND

first of all, let me just mention how much hate blanka got, especially during the preparty season? come on guys, eurofans arent meant to be like this - we can’t just go and send so much unfounded hate on someone because what did blanca even do wrong?

im gonna try and be more positive for this one too... blancka went out there and did ONE OF THE BEST dance breaks ever in EUROVISION HISTORY - like, shes rivaling the likes of chanel and eleni

ok for those of you that dont understand, let me analyse a bit... 

Blanka dances with a certain stiffness, and her movements may even be described as slightly robotic, which may, at first glance, seem like a bad thing to the untrained eye. But, the lack of fluidity is far from a lack of skill, its an act of storytelling. Blanca is nervous, she’s afraid to express herself to the fullest. She’s scared of going solo. Even though the lyrics of the song are filled with positivity and a sense of freedom, Blanka expertly reveals that she is terrified of being independent again, and I think that showing such vulnerability through her inflexible and reserved dancing to Eurovision’s immeasurably large audience is so, so beautiful.

AHEM. cough.

and after all of that, she still got paid DUST by the juries (like 12 points? really?). this here is the sole reason why the jury should be abolished, or at least reformed in eurovision. the juries are meant to vote for the objective best song and the best overall package but hello? where are blanka’s votes? 

disgusting. 

ok, next up is.. unfortunately, QUEEN NOA KIREL FROM ISRAEL

i can’t believe she only got third place

[illfoandillfie]

Hi sweetheart, i hope you are doing great! i think you are a beautiful person and an amazing writer, i’ve written lots of things already but i would like to hear some advice from you about writing so i can improve my skills, i really love writing 🫶🏻😩🥹🥰💌✨

lots of love from Argentina

oh gosh im 🤧🤧 thank you, thats so lovely of you to say!

First of all I keep a writing advice tag for any posts I come across with useful writing tips. Some of them are really general, some of them are about writing specific things (like kissing or children), so probably not everything in there will be useful but hopefully some of it is.

As for my own advice.... none of it is going to be groundbreaking stuff. I've never studied writing, I don't think too hard about how I write, and at the end of the day I just write silly fics about silly boys to keep myself entertained. But I'll put a few things under the cut. These are all more general sort of tips so if there are any specific parts of writing you want me to talk about let me know and I'll see what I can give you!

Number 1 is to just have fun with it. Don't get hung up worrying about if a concept is cringe or if its something no one else will like or if it sounds too much like something else you wrote. If it's an idea that interests you, then you're going to find it easier and probably more fun to write. And if you already love writing then you don't want writing to turn into a chore or something you don't enjoy.

Number 2 is to read real books. Reading fanfic is great and fun but it's very useful to read some books that have been professionally edited and published too. There is a craft to writing things that sound good and one of the fastest ways to learn what sounds good is to read books. You don't have to study them or analyse them, your brain will just pick up on patterns, on how sentences fit together, on what sounds good and what doesn't.

One of my fave examples of this is the way we describe things, at least in the English language. There is an unwritten formula for making a description sound good. opinion, size, age, shape, colour, origin, material, purpose. It's why saying "the silly little pink French book" sounds good but "the pink silly French little book" sounds very strange. No one is taught this formula, no one does it consciously. It's just that one sounds better than the other. And it's the sort of thing you subconsciously pick up from reading.

Number 3 is don't be afraid to do some research. No one knows everything. Sometimes you'll want to write about something that isn't super familiar to you. Whether that be because you're writing is set in a different country to where you are, or you're writing a smut scene with a kink/position you've never done in real life, or you're writing a character with a kid when you don't have kids. Research it! Go on google maps and find the place you want to write about so you can see how the streets look. Find a cosmo article or a youtube video that talks about the kink. Find a site that includes those little drawings of sexual positions (or heck, find some porn if thats more helpful) so you can see how it looks. Find a blog post from a parent and see how they talk about their kid. Listen or watch interviews if you're writing RPF to see how your person talks and what their mannerisms are. Not everything has so be 100% accurate and you're absolutely allowed to make some stuff up but if there's anything you feel unsure about, see if some research helps you.

Number 4 is to read everything you write out loud, but especially dialogue. Sometimes things can sound good while you're writing it but then when you read it back you realise it sounds clunky or it doesn't flow properly. Plus it helps you pick up on mistakes you might otherwise miss (like incorrect spelling or if you meant to delete a sentance but didn't). And I say especially for dialogue because when people talk they'll abbreviate words, they include slang, they use contractions. By reading things out loud to yourself you can hear where inflections are, you can hear if something sounds too formal, or wrong for the emotion you're trying to convey. When I write I make sure that I read it out loud to myself when I'm editing. You don't have to read it to someone else and you can whisper it under your breath so no one else will hear, but it is one of the best things you can do while editing or even if you get stuck while writing a conversation. Sometimes just hearing it out loud will help you identify why its not working.

Those are all the things I can think of off the top of my head but like i said if theres any areas of writing that I haven't mentioned that you'd like my take on let me know!

[bubblyshortie]

oh i see you finished 2521... well you see the ironic thing we found that they wanted to do this whole "realistic" thing but the main couple who literally formed a deep connection and understanding and bond before they were even together, talked through things... just somehow couldn't make their distance work at the time?? but also how is it realistic for them not to end up together but the couple that got together based off vanity got married and endgame like?? lmfao. yeah i didn't like the ending. i enjoyed it until ep 14. the last 2, they can keep. you can't show me the whole series that they are capable of understanding each other on that level and end it like that. the scene of them crying holding on to each other, they legit did not want to let go. in the end, it was the writers who desperately wanted to fit this weird narrative and had to make them act out of character for it to work. i legit enjoyed the show and its lessons but that was not one of them. plus, if they actually wanted me to believe heedo moved on and accepted it, why is everything around her a reminder of yijin? the colored chairs, the naming of her daughters ballet shoes where she wrote on it like yijin did her sword, her face when she hears his name... like? the problem i had with this personally is, when two people like /them/ like that.. with respect and understand of another, i dont see this ending being realistic in any way /for them/ like ive been in a bad relationship where the communication wasnt there etc & the basic opposite of those two and he was my first love and its more realistic for us not to have worked out and we didnt. but THEM? no.. i won't accept it and i would never accept this ending *sigh* sorry saw ur post and something made me angry all over again. the show def has replay value though i watch it when i want to feel encouraged like heedo or find my way again like yijin. i'll never forget those lessons, but i will forget the ending.

dude, the fact that i never thought about this point of view, but i agree with everything you said... like, you opened a whole new door for me and i will gladly get in

you made a really good point right there, so im afraid i wont be able to add up more into the argument

but, i want to highlight what you said about them not being the kind of couple that would end up like that. exactly!!! their characters were designed in a way in which it doesn't make sense they didn't end up together. almost as if the screenwriters spent more time justifying why they're meant for each other, instead of making up good reasons of why they had to break up

portraying how couples, as much as they can love each other, may not be together forever is a worthy lesson, someone's gotta talk about it!! that's what's more common between real people! and it's okay!!! but they didn't do it right in this story. they could've shown a couple with more downs than with ups, a couple that maybe didn't try enough, etc. but these guys, heedo and yijin, prioritized communication, naturally understood each other, they tried so hard because they loved each other and they chose to love each other every single day

the main difference between yijin and heedo's mom's actions is that yijin did tried. for instance, if he ever couldn't arrive at time, he would go to her house anyway... and heedo was truly okay with that because she understood him and they appreciated each other's effort no matter what. that was until the screenwriters remembered they were supposed to break up.

that last hug showed how the characters didn't want to break up, that reason wasn't worth-breaking-up enough for them

so, yeah

sigh

[nanamiscocksleeve]

I always felt like I've been neurotic about finding my "soulmate". People have told me that I am as well. while I don't put men before my friendships, I'm sure all of my friends would describe me as boy crazy, which is hurtful but honest. But really I've never liked any of the men I've been with. I just am trying to find the person that I'm to spend my life with, and as an adult, I had my birth chart read and a trusted psychic told me a vision she had of me. Im neurotic about this because its true that there's one person that is for me and that has been the case in multiple of my past lives. same soul in each life, but different body of course. and that makes me feel a bit sad because so many people wouldn't believe me if I told them that and they think I'm crazy for believing it. but I do believe it because my family has deep ties with our cultural religion, which includes visions and spell work so. Anyway, I'm very preoccupied with things that I shouldn't be preoccupied with lol

It's east to get swept away with the concept of soul mates, but sometimes when we meet them, they aren't necessarily the version of you want them to be. It's by allowing yourself to fall in love with them that you'll bring out the best of them, and they, the best of you. And if they're not the one? The vibes won't feel right and you'll know right away.

As someone who also has cultural ties with this concept and believes in birth charts, I've struggled with this idea of only one soul mate. I don't believe that at all.

There's a book by Paulo Cohelho called Brida, whic reminds me greatly of your situation and I give you 2 passages which I think may help you in widening your concept of love and soulmates:

“if, in the beginning, there were so few people on the face of the earth, and now there are so many, where did all those new souls come from?"

The answer is simple. In certain reincarnations, we divide into two. Our souls divide as do crystals and start, cells and plants."

Our soul divides into two, and those souls are in turn transformed into two and so, within a few generations, we are scattered over a large part of the earth.

We form part of what the Alchemists call the Anima Mundi, the sould of the world; the truth is that if the Anima Mundi were merely to keep dividing, it would keep growing, but it would also become gradually weaker. That is why, as well as dividing into two, we also find ourselves. And the process of finding ourselves is called love. Because when a sould divides, it always divides into a male part and a female part.

In each life, we feel a mysterious obligation to find at least one of those soul mates. The greater love that separated them feels pleased with the Love that brings them together again.

But how will i know who my soul mate is?

By taking risks. By rising failure, disappointment, disillusion, but never ceasing in your search for love. As long as you keep looking, you will triumph in the end.”

2. “Choosing a path meant having to miss out on others. She had a whole life to live, and she was always thinking that, in the future, she might regret the choices she made now. “I’m afraid of committing myself,” she thought to herself. She wanted to follow all possible paths and so ended up following none. Even in that most important area of her life, love, she had failed to commit herself. After her first romantic disappointment, she had never again given herself entirely. She feared pan, loss, and separation. These things were inevitable on the path to love, and the only way of avoiding them was by deciding not to take that path at all. In order not to suffer, you had to renounce love. It was like putting out your own eyes not to see the bad things in life.”

If you have time, read the book. It's great for understanding that having a soulmate isn't as simple as finding the one and only because it's never one and it's never only.

[stormyoceans]

Top 5 quotes from movies and TV series that help overcome the crisis, stay afloat, don't go crazy, don't crawl into the bushes to die ect.

AND SUDDENLY I HAVE FORGOTTEN EVERY SINGLE QUOTE I’VE EVER KNOWN

uuuuuhhhhhhh……..im afraid im actually gonna have to cheat a little on this one because my mind is drawing a blank right now, especially about quotes that are specific to movies and tv shows ;;;;;;; still, these all bring me comfort in different ways, so i hope they can bring you some too!!!

i must not fear. fear is the mind-killer. fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face my fear. i will permit it to pass over me and through me. and when it has gone past i will turn the inner eye to see its path. where the fear has gone there will be nothing. only i will remain. – dune

we all make mistakes. what’s more important is what you learn from them. – a tale of 1000 stars

there should be no boundaries to human endeavor. we are all different. however bad life may seem, there is always something you can do, and succeed at. while there’s life, there is hope. – the theory of everything

picture a wave in the ocean. you can see it, measure it, its height, the way the sunlight refracts when it passes through, and it’s there, and you can see it, you know what it is. it’s a wave. and then it crashes on the shore, and it’s gone. but the water is still there. the wave was just a different way for the water to be for a little while. – the good place (honestly any quote from this show is simply amazing)

“it’s like in the great stories, mr. frodo, the ones that really mattered. full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn’t want to know the end because how could the end be happy? how could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? but in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. even darkness must pass. a new day will come, and when the sun shines, it’ll shine out the clearer. those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something even if you were too small to understand why. but i think mr. frodo, i do understand, i know now. folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. they kept going because they were holding on to something... that there’s some good in the world, mr. frodo, and it’s worth fighting for.” – the lord of the rings

[ganondoodle]

some people on twitter (unsurpisingly) dont like me not liking this and im

like theres a difference between a sequel that is a sequel bc it features mostly the same characters and same world (allegedly lol) and a GOOD sequel that builds on the things the first one established!!

literally, as i said many times, where the fuck is the harm in letting some broken, overgrown, obviously non fucntion shrines here and there or the titans being enshrined like a dead saint or repurposed but not destroyed to honor and remember them and their history, i feel like thats the least you can do to honor the story of the game that made this one able to exist? shiekah tech doesnt need to be the focus (even if i think you could have done all the things the sonau tech does with shiekah too but whatever)

(edit: if you are afraid of people getting confused about old shrines then thats on them for not playing the first one, you dont get to complain about being confused about sth in a show when you skip the first one and start with the second season, or, again, dont make it a sequel, make it a fucking AU)

imagine vah naboris being used as a lookout, with wooden structures build around it so you can climb up its neck all the way, its inner part as a shelter or educational/research center, and the place they flee to when the city is attacked (i dont know about you but fleeing underground when the gibdos are coming from underground doesnt seem like the best thing to do lol) vah ruta is used a holy training ground, and shelter or medical facility once the mud hits, vah rudania is a temple now, not a dungeon but an actual temple to honor daruks and the ancient champions legacy, to remind yourself of the good and bad that can come from using unknown tech not fully understood (im not looking at anything sonau tech), adn when the miamsa stones take effect the gorons that ate it actualyl turn fully hostile(you dont kill them just knock them out for a while when you fight them) and rudania being used, for those that arent affected to hide from the hostile ones, vah medoh having been similarly a temple or training ground perhaps but as the events of totk happen its the most secure shelter against the storm with its indestructible walls and enclosed chambers where the wind cannot reach kids going a big tour to each titan to learn about its history? no?

half of my complaints about totk would vanish if it was a majora-esque AU, what gets me so mad is that they keep on INSISTING its a direct, non AU 1000% sequel yet do everything in their power to disconnect it from botw, all shiekah tech is gone and no one cares about it or the past, the kids now dont even believe it anymore!! and they want you to forget too! no its just gone and all anyone cares about is sonau now! stop thinking about the things we made you care about!! what the fuck!!!

totk is undoing more than it builds on anything, ironically enough, and unecessarrily too imo you had so much to work with and you choose to throw it all out the window for something so much more blander when you didnt have to.

congrats on the glue tho (could have done that with sheikah too, and probably less out of place feeling as well)

(edit edit for the previous addition: i know the two different civilizations are prob meant to be sonau and idk, shiekah/hylian, but given that we see 2 whole sonau and all of them are long gone and given everything else that just doesnt work that was the wrongest way to focus on anything, whatever they focused on in the end, i dont even know, why make a game entirely around some new and also long gone race of people in a time long after that, feels very backwards and also it didnt work, just make a game about them in their time instead of giving us a fraction of both in a bad mix if you want them to be a thing so much)

me: finally im able to cope with how much i hate totk and can fuel that energy into other things :)

nintendy: the shiekah tech just dissappeared and no one knows why or cares enough to investigate it lol. lmao. its gone bc the calamity is gone or something even tho it literally isnt bc ganondorf is right there haha lol, stop asking, why do you care. just forget it existed and look at that sexy goatman and glue instead!! glue! isnt that wild?? also its totally a direct, 100% same universe and exact same characters, despite them act totally out of character, sequel to botw-