#its just nice to see healthy relationships and people being comfortable with their sexuality etc etc

[jamierthanyou]

watching wwdits s5e8 and nadja reaching out to comfort nandor when he says that he and laszlo are down to three fucks per week is unironically incredibly sweet to me. she looks so sympathetic about it. they are both going through it fr

[starbornsinger]

Elriel/Gwynriel/Elucien Theory Time :)

Ok so in regards to the Az POV chapter, I have some thoughts. This is super long and detailed and also tearing down ships, so uh, beware.

⚠️ACOSF spoilers (duh)⚠️

So I was re-reading the thing and as I was reading the conversation between Az and Rhys, it kind of hit me. I used to be an Elriel shipper until ACOSF, and I was really all for it.

But I don't think they're in love.

See, earlier in the chapter, Az is thinking about how jealous he is of the other couples. We know he isn't very lucky in love, and seeing Elain and her mate and their mating bond upsets him. I think he fancies Elain because she's beautiful and sweet, but I don't think he's in love with her. I think she's another thing he can't have, and he feels frustrated and it only makes him want her more. Because he thinks, why shouldn't he have her? Why is the Mother so cruel as to deny him love? And he thinks, "well all my other brothers have Archeron mates, why don't I? It must be a mistake!"

I think what Azriel's biggest issue is though, is that he wants love so bad, he's willing to risk it all for the first girl he feels attraction too. It also feels relevant that the primary thing we see in his POV is his physical attraction to her, his sexual attraction. We don't see much of how he thinks she's so sweet or so clever or so gentle, but instead how nice her tits are and how badly he wants to kiss and fuck her. I think he doesn't particularly want Elain, and while he likes her, I think what he really wants is love. True love, just like his brothers and friends. He thinks the Mother must be wrong because they both got Archeron sisters while he didn't, and his attraction to Elain makes him wish they were Mates so he could finally have that true love that's entirely his own.

But she's not. And he can't. I think what Azriel wants most isn't Elain. He wants her sexually, and he admires her and has a crush on her, but the thing he focuses on and gives him the most emotion is that she has a Mate and he doesn't, and that everyone does but him. I think he wants someone like Elain and wants to feel happy, but I think he doesn't exactly want Elain. When he thinks of her, he doesn't seem to be truly in love as we've seen other SJM couples are. And sure, it's early, but it's also been like— 2 years. I don't think they're in love sadly, I think Azriel just wants to move on from Mor and finally find love. He has a type, and when he found someone who loosely fit into the mold of his ideal partner, he jumped at it because he's desperate to have someone love him. All his life, he's struggled with self-love and love from others, and I think that it's deeply affected his relationship with love itself.

Physical attraction and desire and interest isn't love. And the idea of her being mated already only makes him mad— that of course the first girl he likes for the first time in 500 years, of course the girl that could help him move on from Mor, is mated. I think that only makes him feel more passionate towards her; and Rhys notes how he seems to think he has a claim to her, when he doesn't. It makes Az angry, not because Rhysand thinks he's being possessive and reckless, but because it's true. He genuinely can't have her.

As for Elain, I think she's far too hesitant to be with him. She reminds me of Daisy in The Great Gatsby, and how she claims to love Jay but she won't leave Tom, or jilt him. Now this is a different situation, because Daisy was selfish and didn't want to give up her comforts and stability and fame. Elain, on the other hand, doesn't seem ready to have a serious relationship with Az. I think she is still severely affected by Graysen's rejection, and is still clearly not over him. I don't think she's ready to accept Az fully and be with him, and I also don't think she's ready to reject her mating bond with Lucien.

I don't know 100% what's going on with Elain, but what I do know is that clearly she is intrigued by Lucien in some capacity. Ok Elriel shippers, don't come for me, but there are several scenes in which Elain seems to want to talk to Lucien, or whatever the heck. But also seems disinterested, like when she dismisses his Solstice gifts and doesn't speak to him.

However, I don't think she's resentful towards him exactly, or at least that isn't the main reason she's like this. While we know he was helping Tamlin lowkey, Feyre and the IC all understood he was on their side, and was their friend. So it seems kind of odd to still bear a grudge against him, but who knows.

But funnily enough, she has yet to reject their mating bond. If she's so disinterested, or hates him so much, why hasn't she turned him down? Mother, she's barely spoken to him at all. I think the obvious reason behind her disdain or distancing from Lucien is her connection to Graysen and her human life. Of all the sisters, Elain has not yet adapted to or accepted that she is Fae— or if she has, she's sure as hell not happy about it. Even Nesta in ACOSF mentioned how she actually likes her ears now, and we know Feyre has totally accepted being Fae. But with Elain, she had the most human connected life of them all, and to have it taken away from her is shitty.

For Elain, her happiness seems to come from a love of gardening, of family, of people. She has very little human things to hold onto, and adding a Mating bond to the mix right as she's made Fae is like she's had all her humanity stripped. She doesn't hate Lucien, she hates the bond. She dislikes that it's chained her to someone and taken away her choices, which we know is a big deal for the sisters after being imprisoned, kidnapped, and Made. I think Elriel is an infatuation, because even though she doesn't love Az, he's helping her rebound from Graysen (and giving her control and power over her love life). He's a choice she (can't really) make, but a choice nonetheless. With Lucien, she feels she has no choice with him, and no control over her obvious attraction I say obvious because mates have a primal attraction of some level to each other , and is probably afraid that accepting the Mating bond will remove any last connections she has to who she used to be, and the human she feels she really is.

But she also hasn't rejected it, because I think she realizes that Lucien is a genuine and kind and hot guy, and that rejecting him would be a stupid idea. He's been very patient and very kind and accepting, and has always given her the freedom of choice when it comes to the bond. I think Lucien is the kind of guy that would be very easy to fall in love with, and I think Elain sees that and knows it.

Also, I think with ACOSF, it feels relevant that Cassian pointed out specifically how Elain looked beautiful in black at the ball, but it looked horribly wrong on her. With SJM the devil is always in the details, and I think it was a clearly accentuated bit of symbolism. Although Elain looks beautiful, the black dress wasn't for her. And although Elriel is very sweet, it won't work out. She won't thrive in the Night Court, or with Azriel. Az doesn't challenge her or meet her as an equal (like all other SJM ships), and they don't push each other to be better or to accept themselves or whatever etc etc.

And I really used to like Elriel, but I think that surprisingly, Elain will be the one who says "stop, I can't do this" to Az. I think she knows she isn't ready, and I think she knows they aren't meant to be. Even if a Mating bond was put in place between her and Lucien, I still think their relationship wouldn't work because they're both too insecure, too closed off, too non-communicative, and too stagnant together to be a healthy or good match. I think with Elain they would struggle to understand each other even if they were fond of each other and can relate on some level, but at its rawest form I think they won't truly be able to be themselves with each other.

With Elain, Azriel's shadows— a key part of him— disappear. While I initially thought, awww that's so cute, she's a light in his life, I soon realized I was wrong. Az's shadows are not just a part of him, they're an extension of him, of his will and subconscious and emotions. So Elain chasing them away, while chasing away the shadows and darkness seems cute, isn't a good thing. Most of the time with shadows, we think "ew bad!" Because they have an inherent connotation of negativity or sorrow or depression or darkness etc etc. And while this is partially true, Azriel's shadows and darkness are a part of him. His sadness and struggles are a part of him. And his shadows aren't just representative of that, they're also a representation of how he overcame his abuse and turned that fire (pun unintended) and anger and trauma into something beautiful and powerful and a weapon. I think they can serve as an armor and a shield, and while that's not good, I also don't think they should fully disappear.

More on that: with Azriel's shadows, we know they're a part of him, right? So I think an important part of self is self-regulation. Rather than be consumed entirely by shadow, or totally exposed to the light, I think he just needs his shadows to be calm and present, but not controlling or hiding. I think the whole "Elain bringing him out of the shadows" bit sounds cute at first, but then you have to think of it like this. In order to be with Elain, he would have to change. He couldn't be a spy or a shadowsinger or a torturer, and he couldn't be dark and introverted. With her, he has to push that aside. Those are key parts of him, key parts that would have a big impact on their relationship. Elain can't be with someone with so much blood on their hands or a history of violence or darkness. We know that, because we know that sort of thing upsets her and she doesn't like it.

Azriel can't just be himself with her, he has to become someone else. And while he's attracted enough to not care, after awhile, that grows exhausting. Being in love and not being your true self, all of it, is exhausting. And while some might argue "why can't he be his true self?!" well my slime, I think we both know that even if we wanted him to, Elain would be silently resigned about it. I don't think— no, I know— Elain can't be with someone like Azriel. Even if they have feelings, even if they have lust or affection, it isn't love. They aren't in love, and they won't work out no matter how much we want it to.

Onto Elain: with Elain, this all ties back to what Cassian said in Hewn City. She looks beautiful in black, but it's wholly wrong for her. The Night Court is wrong for her, and darkness is wrong for her. While some yin-yang relationship tropes can work very well, I don't think this will. She doesn't like the darkness or accept it, and she doesn't want to be a part of it. I think the Night Court is good and happy for her when she makes her own little garden world, and only then, really. It's like living in the middle of the desert and only thinking of the beach: it's not the right place for her.

I think the Spring Court needs her, and I think she needs it. Here's more on that.

So we've seen the set up and execution of the fall of the Spring Court. We know that it's in shambles and is weak and needs a new/better leader than Tampon. I feel like SJM is setting things up for a new book focused in the Spring Court, because in a lot of ways, it's becoming the centerpiece for action in Prythian (aside from the Night Court). I genuinely believe that as Tamlin's second, Lucien will take over the Spring Court as High Lord. He doesn't fit in with Autumn, didn't fit in with Night, and wasn't really a part of Spring. But with Spring, it was where he was happy, where he felt safe, and the home he chose. Chosen homes and chosen families are a big deal for SJM, and I think that Lucien will return to the Spring Court to try and help it, because Mother knows it needs it. I think Elain belongs there, not only because she needs to be in an environment suited to her, but because she needs to heal.

We've seen a theme of helping others heal in order to heal ourselves, and I think a good book idea (and what I think an Elain book would be about), is healing the Spring Court and helping it. Elain is a gardener. She wants to see things grow and blossom, wants to get her hands dirty and dig in! But she can't do that in the NC. I think she needs something new and fresh and blossoming that she can help and tend to, and I think the person that can be at her side for that is Lucien. I think with Azriel, she can't see growth and life and flowers. He's a different kind of person, far too different, and the two wouldn't mesh well. Elain isn't like Persephone and Azriel isn't like Hades; although she's flowers and he's death and they're attracted to each other, they don't fully accept those roles and cross into each other's. Elain could never be a killer or someone who wears black or thrives in a darker place, and Azriel couldn't be someone who is in the full heat of the light and wear bright colors and be cheerful and flowery. In a dream world, yes, but I think in this one, no. SJM loves to create realistic relationships and realistic relationship conflict, and I think we'll see this here. Even though they want it to work, and in theory it should, it won't. I think they know it too. Azriel's shadows vanish when she's around, and Elain struggles to feel comfortable in the darkness and Night Court, and fit in with the others in the black dress that is wholly un-Elain.

I also think that this relationship doesn't bring development to the table. The forbidden love concept is adorable and a trope I love, but this love isn't one that will push them to grow. Azriel can feel loved and happy, but can he feel fully accepted? Can he stop being ashamed of his shadows, of his violence? Of who he is? Can Elain break out of her shelf and be more assertive, and truly grow and change? Can she be herself and be happy? The answer is a sad no. Their relationship is sweet and cute, but it won't truly work. I genuinely believe Lucien is a better match for Elain, and while the Cauldron isn't always right (like Rhysand's parents), it usually is. If he isn't, then I'm all for independent Elain.

Now onto the moment you've all been waiting for: who should Az be with?

Gwyn. :)

[btsandvmin]

Ask: Reply - 2021.03.18

I don’t know what might be the best way to go about asks, but for now I’ll try to answer asks as they come and when I can/want to I’ll collect them together in a post instead of answering indivudually. I’ve seen other Vminie blogs with similar formats and have done a few collection posts like this before, and it really seems to be the easiest way to digest your questions.

Let’s go through what you’ve sent me today as I finally opened up this blog for asks again. :)

Topics:

Ask 1 - Vmin’s emotional connection vs ship moments Ask 2 - KTH1 and creative control Ask 3 - What makes a ship big? Ask 4 - Thoughts on Tae/kook’s relationship (+ edit on other post) Ask 5 - When did they first mention the dumpling fight? Ask 6 - A little about me and my big analysis Ask 7-9 - Thank yous and nice things

Thank you all for waiting. <3 Read more under the cut.

Ask 1 -  Vmin’s emotional connection vs ship moments

I agree with you. I might not look at other ships as focused as I do with Vmin, but I would guess no other ship comes close to how much Vmin have shown their emotional intimacy in many ways over the years. Not to mention how many times even BTS themselves point out Vmin’s bond as special. Not to mention to begin with we shouldn’t be insecure about their bond based on their interactions with others. We should judge Vmin based on how they interact with each other.

All members have skinship (though some more than others), but both Jimin and Tae are super comfortable with touching, sometimes even with strangers. Looking at moments you can ship all ships, and there are even those that believe their ship to be real for almost all ships in BTS at this point. Why? Well because if you focus on your ship and put emphasis on the moments between them as bigger or more important, you can find “proof” for anything. Because that’s just how close and shipworthy all of the dynamics in BTS are. They all love each other, and shippers can find their own preferred love amongst them. 

I think we also need to remember all the things Vmin has CONFIRMED that other shippers try to prove with their own ships. How is tae/kook hugging or ji/kook cuddling supposed to make me feel insecure about Vmin when they have that too AND call each other soulmates in a song that made one of their procucers cry and other things like Namjoon getting goosebumps thinking about their bond? Taehyung cried reading his letter to Jimin and Jimin said no other member would likely truly understand why he cried. Taehyung has called Jimin the warmest person he knows and his one and only best friend. AND AGAIN, SOULMATE. The years of material we have show us again and again how important they are to each other and how they grow and work hard together to make their bond even stronger.

Vminies, please appriciate what we have because we are spoiled.

Ask 2 - KTH1 and creative control

Honestly this is a difficult one. The thing is that we know that likely to some degree Big Hit will always be involved with what the boys do and release. But I also think their freedom to express themselves is better than most idol companies, and BTS whole brand is to be as genuine as possible. As for what Tae would be asked to tone down is hard to say exactly, but we do know that Yoongi and Namjoon (and other members) have been pretty dark and honest in their lyrics. I know from a Vmin perspective it could be something either LGBT+ or even directly Vmin related, but there isn’t enough to go on for me to make a good guess. We literally just know that he was told to tone it down. It doesn’t even have to be about the subjects or lyrics, even though that does seem the most likely. But we do know that Taehyung wants to release something that reflect him and that he can be proud of, so I am sure no matter what we get they will be his honest feelings. I am very excited and a bit scared thinking about Tae’s mixtape if I am being honest.

That being said, I think there could be lines that they should be careful not to cross. I think it’s possible with Taehyung’s personality who “doesn’t beat around the bush” that he might want to express more than what might be appropriate. Not just from Big Hit’s perspective but for his own sake. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying Tae is an idiot who doesn’t know what’s good for him. I just think at times he might be rebellious against his own better judement because it is something so important to him. For me talking about the Christmas song is partly such a moment, but I still think he was careful and ambiguous enough about it, even though he allowed himself to complain. Still, I am sure if it is about sexuality or even a relationship he knows the risks of being too open about it and would likely understand the need to be careful, or tone things down, if that was the case. A mixtape/album is not something done rashly or in the moment, so no matter what we get I am sure it will have been checked and considered by Tae and by Big Hit.

So basically I suppose the delay could be about creative control but mostly I really think it’s about Taehyung wanting to do well and writing when he feels like it without pressure. Which I feel is a very healthy approach by him honestly. We know mixtapes takes time and we know how Hobi felt about his first one, so I really think we should just give him time and I am sure we will get something amazing.

Ask 3 - What makes a ship big?

Aaaaaaw~! Thank you so much for your love and compliments. I feel like am very lacking in many areas still, but regardless I am glad my posts are appriciated. If I can bring a smile to anyones��� face that is an acomplishment to be proud of. Thank you. <3

As for what makes a ship big or not is of course quite subjective. For me at this point I would say ALL BTS ships are big ships. Not comparing them to each other but just by the huge amount of fans they all have. (I hope you don’t have to learn the pain or liking a rare-pair from a small fandom T-T). Almost all the ships in BTS even have analysis and people who believe in them, and I think that is partly an effect of size as well. That being said I think the bigger a ship is the easier it is for it to grow more. Which is why it is no surprise a lot of BTS ships that were popular right at the start are still the biggest ones now. But with more material and more fans there comes communities focused on their own ship, and they all grow as they get more moments. Vmin too have had a few times when they blow up for a while and gather new curious shippers. Friends is clearly a great example of this. Even Sweet Night seem to be something of a turning point for some to start shipping Vmin. All ships will grown in size with each passing year as we are always given new material. Even if a ship doesn’t get a lot, it will likely get enough to keep fans engaged.

For me I would say the loudest and the most agressive are often the biggest  (more bad apples the bigger the basket you know) and I think we can see some size indications by what ships trend more often etc. Ships can also be big in different ways and in different forums... Like how ji/kookers have taken tumblr as their platform while tae/kookers seem to be on youtube comments a lot.

All in all I don’t think size matters much though. Especially not with BTS where all ships get a lot of material and has their own fans who create for, share and dicuss about their pair. Popularity to me is not really something I think too much about, and honestly I think the way only the most popular pairs seem to get attention in the form of “worry” etc. is very telling. If JK and Hobi share a bed and cuddle and celebrate JK’s BD together, or Hobi post them having a picknick outside their house at night no one bats an eye... But if it was JK with one of Vmin? Confirmed to be dating and all other shippers get worried. 

Going into detail why ships gets big is a different conversation though. :P I hope I understood your ask correctly. Basically I consider all BTS ships as more or less big (perhaps with the exception of 2seok).

Ask 4 - Thoughts on Tae/kook’s relationship

So I got two Tae/kook asks today, seemingly because Tae/kook has had a lot of moments recently. I deleted the first one, but this one I feel is safe enough to share. I’ve talked about tae/kook before... (HERE for example) and I stand by that now too. I don’t have to dismiss other ships to feel confident about Vmin’s love for each other.

Tae/kook has always had a very physical and playful dynamic. Even when Tae changed and toned down this side of him we got moments where he played with JK or they hugged or cuddled close. I do see a little change now after ITS but mostly in that Tae seems to initiate more, not that it looks different in nature. I think when Tae changed his dynamic with JK lost a lot of it’s “main focus” as Tae wasn’t as playful. Look at JK with Jin as a comparison and I think JK in general is drawn to hang with people who are happy and fun to tease. 

Anyways, about their bond I do think tae/kook are close but as grown men they don’t have the same relationship that they used to when they were younger. They simply grew up and their dynamics changed. They haven’t had a lot of more serious conversations, but I think now that distance have become a little shorter after ITS. I think Tae/kook has a great bond that is underrated by many in the fandom but overrated greatly by their shippers. They clearly love each other and have fun with each other and can be very comfortable physically. 

But are they as close as Vmin? Personally I really doubt it. And even if Tae/kook would be real why should that have any impact on Vmin? Surely you wouldn’t think they are together but cheating or something drastic like that. I am also not sure why you would be particularly worried about tae/kook based on physical interactions alone though... I mean, both Hope/kook, Tae/jin, Ji/kook and Vmin also have a loooot of very intimate looking moments if you ask me.

You don’t have to worry about Vmin. If Tae has gushed about Jimin being special to him from 2013 to 2020 I don’t see why 2021 would be any different.

I also got a reply to this post where I mentioned the tae/kook ask I deleted. I must first say that it was my mistake to write JK’s lips and not his lip mole. I have edited the post to make clear he talked about the mole and not the lips.

Either way, thank you anon for giving perspective and adding your thoughts to the moments. Not to mention moments like this happen for all members and I don’t think we can draw any strong conclusions from them saying another members is sexy or something similar. But yeah, people pick and choose what they will remember, and often focusing on the negative will leave a bigger impact than the positive.

Ask 5 - When did they first mention the dumpling fight?

Hi and don’t worry. I honestly think a lot of Vminies don’t know about this because the first time was such a small moment not many would pay attention and remember it. We knew about it since 2016 where Tae offhandedly mentioned him and Jimin fighting about dumplings once.

I don’t even have the actual source for the first time Tae mentioned it, but it was all the way back in July 2016 in an interview with @star1 magazine, so we know it happened before that.

Then Tae got asked about it on a post it during a BST era fansign as well. Also, did you know the reason they fought was 💜?

Yeah.... Let’s just say I am not surprised at all to hear their dumpling fight having more meaning than first let on. As with most things brought up in the lyrics of Friends it’s something we already knew about since before. I also talked about this in my post Vmin analysis - “Friends”. (Though at that point we hadn’t heard them speak much about it and didn’t know how big of a deal it seemed to be.) It makes me wonder if the other things they talk about in the lyrics might also have more meaning than we know. 

Personally I think the reason we even got them talking about the dumpling incident so much is thanks to JK in the carpool karaoke. When asked what Vmin would fight about he was the one who mentioned dumplings and likely brought more attention to it than if it would simply have remained as one of the many lyrical anecdotes in the song. I am glad we got to know more, because honestly the dumpling incident seems to have been a pivotal moment in Vmin’s relationship.

Ask 6 - A little about me and my big analysis

Hi and thank you so much for the lovely compliments. Trying to consider all kinds of possibilities I feel should be obvious if you truly want to analyse something, but sadly I think when it comes to observing real people and being invested emotionally that becomes really difficult. Me too have to hold myself back a lot, because in the end there is always going to be room for error. And if I am wrong, who will be hurt? Likely all of you who listen to me and take my words into consideration. So I rather be upfront about the risk of being wrong than to speak too confidently and accidentally ending up misleading someone. I am really so happy and proud over Vminies who can stand back and not become delusional despite everything we actually have (this includes myself, because it’s not always easy to not get caught up in theories).

As for who I am it’s of course ok to ask. I am from Sweden and is 30 years old. (English isn’t my native language so I hope you forgive my mistakes, I know I have a lot of them in my posts). I’ve been a BTS fan since 2016 and Vmin fan almost since the start. I have been a fan of other groups long before BTS too and was pretty deep into the Japanese idol culture before fell for K-pop. For some additional info I also work with marketing and project managing and have a degree in conflict resolution. Thanks for being curious about me. :)

About my big analysis I am working on it still, and of course I hope to post it as soon as I can. I am a bit hesistant in bringing attention to some things though, as I have seen some of my previous theories and speculations be regarded as fact. I don’t want Vminies to run with my interpretations in a way that make them confident in Vmin being real. So yeah, I do want to post it, but I am also a bit worried what reactions it might get. I try very hard to remind you all that my theories are only speculations and we won’t know anything for sure (unless it would be confirmed). It still isn’t finished yet though, but I’ll keep working hard.

Ask 7 -  Thank you for the fic rec

Thank you! I am glad you enjoyed it. I haven’t had too much time to catch up on reading and just added a lot from my bookmarks, but good thing it was so appriciated by you all. Vmin writers truly are amazing aren’t they? :) 

(And don’t worry about me getting bad asks. I think I would have quit a long time ago if I let them bother me too much.)

Ask 8 - Just a very sweet anon

Thank you! I’m ok. Not great, but ok. Life goes on, you know? But I feel like I finally have the energy to blog again, and honestly that feels pretty great. It feels like I’ve been gone forever, but I hope you will still enjoy my musings and thoughts as you send me questions and I write new posts. :3

Ask 9 - The whole world is different from yesterday~ Just with your joy~

Omg what a sweet thing to say, thank you so much, you are putting a big smile on my face right now. I am glad you enjoy and understand my thoughts so much. I know many of you have missed my thoughts and even asked me when I would open my asks again, and so much always happen with Vmin too... (There is literally enough material to write books about them.) Thank you for waiting and being so understanding. I am happy to be back too. <3

Thank you everyone for you asks and I hope you liked this new format. :) I’ll try to keep it up and if you have any thoughts and opinions feel free to share them.

[shinycorvidae]

Character Study:

Tagged By: @smilepal

Tagging: @shitposting-for-the-soul

(Vic is in a relationship with @smilepal s Hiro and Johnny who survives and gets a body, and they are happily living together, because fuck cannon 😂)

Layer 01: The Outside

-Name: Victory (Vic, V mostly, only her dad called her victory) Devin

-Eye Color: Brown

-Hair Style/Color: Blue green curly hair, that's always up in a bun or a braid. She has the sides shaved until after The Heist. She lets it grow out to hide the bullet scar on her temple. She didn't really notice it herself, but it made the boys sad. Sometimes she will rarely have her hair down at home.

-Height: 5'11

-Clothing Style: Functional and comfortable clothing, reinforced with armor weave. Mostly wears browns, greens and blacks because she's used to blending into the badlands.

-Best Physical Feature: In her opinion? Her lean muscles/control over her body. In mine? Tall lady please step on me.

Layer 02: The Inside

-Fears: Failing her family again. Dying alone. Needles. Dogs. Loss of control of her body (bondage, drugs etc.).

-Guilty Pleasures: Explosives. They're so imprecise and generally not conducive to her fighting style but damn they're pretty. And actually physical books. Its not worth the extra money but ooo they smell so good.

-Biggest Pet-peeves: Hiro and Johnny taking hour long showers/leaving all the lights on. Improper gun/knife stance/holding. Food thieves.

hthr th door-Ambitions for the Future: For her found family to all be happy, safe and healthy.

Layer 03: Thoughts

-First thought waking up: Its not really a thought, but just taking in the soft emotion of being safe in a warm bed with her boys nearby. And then immediately "what's for breakfast" 😂

-What they think about most: Escape/fight plans. Food. Her partners.

-What they think about right before bed: Whether the door is locked and the alarms set. Then about the people she meet and interacted with throughout the day, mostly little things, like how she should fix the old lady down the halls A/C tomorrow or how she should bring Hiro to see Vik tomorrow about the slight twitch in his cyberware.

-What they think their good quality is: V see's herself as the protector/soldier since that was her role in her old clan before coming to NC. So she would probably say that her best quality is her fighting and battle planning abilities.

Layer 04: Either Or

-Single or group dates: Since V has two partners, group dates. Though its hard to call them 'dates', since its usually V tricking her two emotionally constipated boys into a nice day out that they only realize is a date when they get home.

-To be loved or respected: Loved. Vic is a soft soul. She wants to be loved. If you don't respect her she doesn't care at all unless you physically attack her.

-Beauty or Brains: Brains. Vic isn't materialistic or vain at all.

-Dogs or Cats: If she has to choose between the two, cats. She's started getting used to them since moving in with Hiro, but she didn't have any interactions with them before. Their aren't many cats in the badlands and if you do run into one he's probably a feral bastard. She's actively afraid of dogs, as she's been attacked by them before.

Layer 05: Do They...

-Lie?: Rarely. And when she does she's awful at it.

-Believe in themselves?: Mostly yes. Vic is pretty secure in who she is and what she can do. However she's had a rough couple of years in a row, and they've made her question herself a bit.

-Believe in love?: Yes. V believes in familial, platonic and sexual love. She falls in love easily and is very open about her love and tells her loved ones that she loves them often. Scared the crap out of Jackie when she told him she loved him. She didn't explain she meant platonically 😂

-Want someone?: Yes, previously and currently. She has an ex gf, Merrill, from her nomad years, and has been holding a torch/eventually dates her roommate Hiro Oda and Johnny Silverhand.

Layer 06:

-Been on stage?: Maybe once or twice she's dragged onstage by an enthusiastic Kerry or Johnny, but she hates it. She doesn't like people paying that much attention to her. She's a sniper for gods sake, she's used to quietly sitting in a corner unnoticed.

-Done drugs?: Not really. Has smoked weed occasionally with her sister as a teen, but that's it. She has a crippling fear of needles so its a literal fight to even get her to take an airhypo. Johnny usually ends up holding her down while Hiro injects 😂

-Changed who they were to fit in?: No. V is charismatic and just so fucking oblivious to social roles? rules? that she wouldn't even think of the need to change herself. Her nomad clan was a mishmash of a complete clusterfuck of personalities so she never really would get the idea of different being bad. She's also just generally awful at lying/faking 😂😅

Layer 07:

-Favorite Color: Green, like the bright luscious plant green. It was a rare color in the desert.

-Favorite Animal: Hawks. It was her old family's nickname for her, and she loved to watch them soar above them while they drive across the desert.

-Favorite Book: Watership Down. Vic loves the classics and often stays home reading while the boys go out clubbing. Watership Down is her favorite because it's about protecting clan, vicious battles and cute bunnies.

-Favorite Game: The 'pretend you don't see or understand Hiro/Johnny's blatant sexual come ons/flirting until they snap' game

Layer 08:

-Day their next birthday will be: She'll be 29 some point in November. Unsure in the exact date.

-How old they will be: 29

Layer 09: I...

-I Love: Food. Her Rifle. Her Knives. Hiro. Johnny. Viper. Michael. Vik. Misty. Panam. Judy. Mitch. Their cats. The wind in my hair. Barry. The food cart guy outside their apartment. Delamain. Oh that chinese place down the street- I'm just going to cut her off there.

-I Feel: Happy. Content. (Guilty. A failure.)

-I Hide: From needles. Hiro and Johnny are always trying to stop her from eating 'perfectly safe' food. So she hides that from them. Her sadness. Her nightmares.

-I Miss: Viper, Michael and Jackie. My clan before we joined Snake Nation. Not living in any fixed place. It was nice not being tied down to one place.

-I Wish: that I never have to find a new family again.

There you go @smilepal I finally finished 😂 you only tagged me three days ago.

[misterbitches]

i said i would talk about saizon and usually i would be under the influence. but i am not yet. read the * at end of the post first if u want clarification of overall.

i might mention torfight (will refer as f/t) but if anyone gets upset just chill. it’s a really inconsequential opinion. the chances of someone stumbling upon this means nothing. it isnt’ a compare and contrast just how i personally feel while viewing these shows. and i probably want to dive into what this means in a broader context since i have all the time and brain space in the world 

from the first encounter of saifah and zon or their first encounter outside of their “kiss” (LOL? so unnecessary) it was clear that as awkward as it could or may be there was natural chemistry. which i want my tiny head to explore.

so a lot of BL (which is like....tv and movies etc in general anyways) hell even dramas may have a less sexual undertone to get to where they are going. which i think is a problem with tv in general (a friend was bringing this up with the new rules of social distancing on set which...capitalism but whatever)  where sex is a vehicle for connection. a lot of BLs can be explicit i suppose, but in the west it’s like jumping into bed is a huge base for a lot of couples. also everyone fucks too much who cares.

but sex, kisses, hookups, any nudity, etc is not a placeholder for like actual intimacy, romantic love, showing love. that’s part of why i hate the concept of love at first sight, at least the way it plays out. you can really like someone, hell maybe even love, when you see them or feel this bond but the bond isn’t because you TOUCHED them.

there’s a difference between natural chemistry and forced. natural chemistry is what you would prefer which is why casting directors have literally chemistry tests to test your compatibility as actors, with a writer/director, and on camera. there can be people whose chemistry develops and we see the potential, or people who we know don’t love each other IRL and this is acting but it’s still powerful. but this always means you have to give them the time and space. actors can jump in/out of character but it’s human nature. if two peopl eare meeting for the first time and have to simulate sex there’s going to be this natural like...strangeness. obviously. viewers can see it.

so when you get two people who click irl and it doesn’t always have to be romantic or sexually it’s kind of more of a thrill. very obviously mii2 are a lot more flexible around each other so it is less mechanic. i think i like watching tharntype because even tho i feel like parts of it seriously need some oil, i can see and understand a relationship developing through their characters as they act (and i do not particularly think they are good actors.)

the friendship that saizon display—whether we think it is spontaneous and too quick or not—is legitimately nice. and they are very obviously comfortable with each other. i guess there can be an idea of romantic friendship (but idk abt that one, we dont have to fucking label everything you can love someone so deeply in your own way outside of our parameters bla bla capitalism ruining everything bla bla individualism)

they got in each others faces, then would do very weird shit together, because that’s who they are. for me personally i think being able to have fun with your partner is iMPERATIVE. one of my fav moments is when they fucking meow at each other (which i know is a thai joke, right? idk) and it is so weird but you can tell they understand the way they communicate?

to me  like...having someone you feel something deep with is that there’s this role you guys are playing, it’s a joke you started, and with the best kind of intimacy and love your partner can keep it going, keep it rolling, hang it up in the air and you guys just go back adn forth....forever lol 

i also legitimately think it is important to hammer home the fact that you are yourself without a partner and i really resent a message that makes it seem like you can’t live without someone. maybe a lack of saizon was good that way. like they existed as two seperate people. their love and attraction weren’t the only thing going for them. it was just natural and very nice.

this particular display of romance and affection is one that’s strong but doesn’t take itself too seriously. not because you don’t want to lose them but because there’s enough security. or like, it’s really guided by this unspeakable feeling you feel with another person. 

i’m not sure if that means soulmates but it’s something close. saifah doesn’t expect zon to be someone he can’t, but it doesn’t mean he has to let himself go completely for him. when he expressed being sad that zon pulled away it’s normal. and zon knew he couldn’t do it but they still got through it. and then he pats the bed and saifah jumps on him.

these types of couples remind me of why i feel the way i do about love. i can’t imagine something fucking bogging me down, where i feel like i can’t get up without pulling me, where i don’t feel myself first. zon was figuring himself out and he was thinking of himself and his feelings. bc he should. 

that’s another reason why trapped MC (H3) is one of my favs. first of all THEY LAUGHED TOGETHER WHICH IS LIKE A REQUIREMENT UR NO FUN IF UR A SQUARE and second of all they were going to spend year apart and could do that. had to. fuck the carceral state but. 

you don’t ask someone to give up a part of themselves, you only want them to be the best they can be. it isnt through demands it’ sgrowing with them and fucking respecting them with everything you have. and it means having a foundation outside of them, too. 

i know people get upset at the “love anybody but u have to love yourself” adage but i don’t really see it tht way. i absolutely believe you need to learn to be healthy alone and have a community. rely on all sorts of people. have different types of love and figure yourself out. we can’t be free as human beings without it and i would rather fucking die than not feel free. 

oh and like....being with someone where you feel seen and heard not shamed. i read this thing in the atlantic like, partnerships fail a lot because of lack of validation. imagine having someone who trusts you, and maybe helps to trust yourself, and validates you by being there. nice.

and it’s nice having someone you love so deeply and beautifully along for the ride. instead of no actual pleasure outside of sex, your relationship IS the pleasure. beautiful stunning etc. and that’s what makes everythign feel good the love, sex, living, whatever. with someone and with yourself.

this got away from me in conclusion theyre very cute eand that’s cos it’s easy and natural. mii2 are fun to watch as saizon and themselves. life shouldnt be too hard. im a big fan of working as little as possible and being happy kekekek

*i am talking monogamy, love, and the self. why only ‘traditional’ rships? first: i literally cannot handle people because i can’t handle my mind. non-monagamy is incredibly alluring to me for my autonomy, in the abstract, and in theory. however, in practice, i don’t think—for me as a black woman and what it means for me—i can enact anything i feel would be detrimental to me or puts me in a position where i feel forced into a dynamic i no longer care for. 

and who knows if that changes? i only do and care about the things i like and find important. no one else but me, family, and friends. how i choose. so i am talking abt monogamy but u can interpret that for other rships if you wish. 

second: it’s. my. life. 

i dont carrreeee about monogamy/non monagamy outside of liberation and sexual freedom and what does that mean?  there is no blueprint for that. there is no future expectation for a relationship, there is nothing but how we choose to interact with the world and community. first and foremost: love means so many things and it doesn’t have to mean any “new” ideas. or “instincts.” who fucking cares. we can’t reimagine literal relationships, people are fucking toxic in all types of them, only reimagine how we interact with ourselves and each other. there is no fucking guarantee with any of this we are safe. you cannot predict life. just live it. honor yourself first. there’s some black feminists books on like love and intimacy if you are curious how capitalism binds us. we keep wanting to find solutions WITHIN when its like nah, it;s our own fuckin terms. self-love becomes the love you can extract from others. it isn’t sustainable. 

ROMANTIC LOVE WAS INVENTED TO MANIPULATE WOMEN = JENNY HOLZER

[secretshinigami]

Masterlist of Demegawa-chan’s Special Prompts

A compiled list of everyone’s prompts from the exchange – thank you for letting us post them, and we hope you guys enjoy them! Prompts are organized by their submitter, so be sure to give credit if you use one.

niatsuki

Near and Light kissing

Mikami and Light in the rain sharing an umbrella

Misa in a suit

Domestic Mikalight

Matsuda confronting Near on the theory he brings up at the end of the manga

Nate and Light having an obtuse argument, but with romantic undertones

toygowther

Light wearing a crop top, high waisted jeans and fishnets, and a choker. 

L having a nice day out in the park eating ice cream with Maki and Near 

Musical!Light smiling

Misa in a cute gothic dress doing a finger heart

L and Light wearing Misa Misa merch at one of her concerts.

AU in which Light is actually a woman. The fic would follow how Misa reacts to it and if she would still want to be her girlfriend.

Role swap au. Light as Misa and Misa as Light.

Light and Misa meeting a different way and actually forming a healthy relationship. 

spaceblue

L, Naomi & B shenanigans

Naomi, Wedy and Lidner as Charlie's angels (or L's angels?)

Wammy kids as Pokemon trainers

Matt gets the rest of the Wammy kids to play Smash with him

Naomi and L after the end of LABB, after he says his name is Rue Ryuzaki 

Drama!L and drama!Raye Penber bickering 

hazblogs

your take on A's gender and sexuality, bonus points if they're not a cis man and straight

Mello and sun imagery

Beyond Birthday and his eyes

Near with Hanahaki disease (pick who it's about if you want a specific ship)

Mello and witchcraft, if possible in the canon universe

Naomi interacting with Beyond (au or canon), if possible talking about L or the Wammy kids

L/Light being soulmates, in canon or in an AU

how Matt started smoking (I am comfortable with heavy drug themes)

polyphenols

L learning to garden, paint, cook, do taxes, care for an animal, or pay for a parking ticket for the first time

All the times L has cursed Right In Front Of The Task Force (poor Soichiro)

L alone, dressed for the cold, in a cathedral during midnight hours, gazing at the altar in silent contemplation

Aiber and Wedy at an evening gala on a mission

L and Alessandro Juliani warmly shaking hands

Young Naomi in a darkened room with red string and case clippings everywhere

What chain of events led to Quillsh Wammy deciding to adopt L and care for him?

Matsuda cant swim and he’s knocked into a body of water on a case, one of the task force has to go after him

The conversation that happened between L and Rem before he walked out onto that rooftop

L traveling somewhere exotic for a case, meets celebrity of your choice and becomes unlikely friends, takes down crime circle together 

Naomi and L interact side by side as partners during a seperate case  

paralllaxes

16 year old Gevanni (normal day or family banter)

Naomi in modern clothing

the SPK in one of those cheesy family pictures.

Naomi thinking about LABB while in Japan

SPK found family stuff / domesticity

Naomi being with the SPK (with or without Raye is the author's choice)

kiranatrix

Light and L in emo/goth clothes or in an emo band

Light in a crown on a throne

Ryuk doing something funny or playing a prank while invisible

L and Light on a road trip

Misa painting Rem’s looooong nails or giving her a makeover

Death Note characters as birds! 

Sayu gets a grumpy parrot and Light doesn’t realize it can talk until after he hears it repeat some Kira plan thing, so he has to adopt it to keep it from spilling on him

L and Light talk about something important that happened to them in their childhood

L has to deal with growing amount of Light’s products in their shared shower and tries some out of curiosity with disasterous results

Light accidentally eats the last piece of cake in Kira HQ and L can’t deal at 4am

Lawlight Apocalypse AU of any variety 

Beyond breaks out of prison after LABB, where does he go?

47gaslamps

The task force with portentous umbrellas

Halle, symbolically framed between Near and Mello

Naomi kicking Light's butt after he attempts to use force

Matsuda gives Yamamoto a welcome-aboard to the former Task Force / 

AU where the drawer IS forced open

Misa has to shield Light from the paparazzi

translightyagami

Light and L in a crowded apartment, obviously lived in, playing piano next to each other

Light sewing something like his father's suit jacket or a shirt Mikami tore

Indulgent ask for my cryptid AU L and Light sitting in a graveyard having a nice time

Light having a smoke before he has to go tell his parents he's moving in with Misa

Light and Sayu having a difficult conversation where they're both saying they're gay without out loud saying it

Near goes to a Lego building event and meets a nice boy who isn't a Wammy kid

almostsane-things

Wammy's kid(s) of your choice sitting on the roof, watching the sky

Beyond Birthday and Candy Guro

DN characters in a rock band, maybe the shinigami are their mascots

Draw a less appreciated character but try something new with your style/medium. (i.e. use different brushes, incorporate a traditional art/craft like painting or cross-stitch, make a collage piece, go abstract, etc)

L in prison

Misa and Sayu becoming friends/ hanging out

The legend of Kira, how has the story of Kira changed over time in universe? Do people believe it was something supernatural, a government conspiracy, a group of vigilantes, or perhaps it's faded to nothing but a cautionary tale for misbehaving kids

A DN character enjoys that thing you really like/ find interesting to learn about, and shares that interest with someone else. (i.e. Matt plays your favorite video game with someone, Linda teaches someone about gardening, etc)

weneedtotalkaboutdeathnote

A hot double date with BBxDemegawa and LxHiguchi

B meeting L (any context is fine).

Naomi and Raye getting coffee together, having a nice time.

L can see ghosts, but he chooses to ignore them. This becomes increasingly had to do when B’s spirit shows up during the Kira investigation.

An Au where L defeated Kira, grew older, and basically disappeared. Older Mello (mid 20sish, now a detective) follows a lead that takes him to the washed up L. 

Non serial killer, "Unprivate Detective" Beyond Birthday works on a case with Naomi Misora.

pensulliwen

Misa making Valentine’s Day chocolate, perhaps while daydreaming about a fantastically unlikely result of giving them to Light.

Rem holding Misa as they fly over the city.

Meme redraws featuring Misa, Light, and L. Just go crazy. Any ridiculous meme image, shove these dorks in there instead.

Misa convincing Rem to take her flying, the feelings they both experience in the air together.

Misa and Mogi on a shopping “date” in which the unlikely pair manage to work together surprisingly well.

Light considers eliminating Misa from the equation many times, but there’s always something that stops him. Explore how he views her and the dissonance between how he views her versus how he views himself, as well as the reasoning for keeping her around longer than intended. 

izaori

Demegawa in a hot tub but instead of water its money

Mello playing soccer with the other kids (like Matt for example). 

Matsuda playing cookie clicker, because he's obsessed.

Young Demegawa when he first got his job, maybe a few months into the job.

Sayu studying for her big exam coming up so she goes to big bro Light for help.

Ryuk discovers sour green apples rather than just the red ones. Maybe Sidoh discovers dark chocolate/white chocolate at the same time.

mikami

High school age Mikami in a high school uniform.

MikaLight out on a date

anything L/Higuchi

A Sakura TV Documentary about the Kiras. 

MikaLight office romance, non-Kira AU.

Write me a fic about Demegawa. Can definitely be comedy, but please take the character somewhat seriously.

ghostoftasslehoff

L and Light playing piano together.

L with a kitty

Sayu and ‘Ryuzaki’ meeting, and hitting it off 

Matsuda recieving a present or something from a ‘secret admirer’

A day in the life of Matsuda (away from the task force)

L and B’s first meeting (can be shippy or not, whichever my Shinigami prefers)

L tries to engage in punnery with the task force, but only one person engages (preference for Light, but surprise me!)

Sayu’s (or Sachiko’s) thoughts on Light’s new secretive actions as Kira becomes more and more active 

tzigi

(All canon-compliant)

L gets first suspicions about a string of heart attacks which may be a new murder case for him

Light’s first day at To-Oh after L’s death

Light’s first day of work at the NPA 

Near tries to pick up L’s investigation

Why did Near go back to L’s original font for the “L” logo between chapter 108 and the C-Kira oneshot? 

A non-Lawlight rendering of the first evening of Light being chained to L after everyone else has already gone to sleep (preferably in keeping with the One Day one-shot) 

Light begging Ryuk for his life

Light’s funeral

catfishmaster

The main characters (plus B) as DND characters

Older Near (like 25-30) with a bunch of cats he keeps for company

Roger bonding with Near after the Kira case.

Beyond Birthday faked his death in 2004 and now lives alone as a poor and pretty miserable theatre actor with a fake name. Oh, and also it's a Kira wins au.

Years after the Kira case has concluded, L takes on Near as an apprentice.

Matt takes Near on a tour of an afterlife-like world they both wound up in. It's more like a dreamscape than anything else but it serves as an afterlife.  

[lovelyladydarling]

task 001. dig a little deeper: lady darling edition

BASIC INFORMATION.

What is your character’s full name ? patricia elizabeth darling How is it pronounced ? puh-trih-shuh uh-liz-uh-bith dar-ling Is there a meaning behind it ? patricia means “noble” and is the female version of “patrick,” but it was a family name her mother gave her. lady was just something sweet they called her when she was younger and it stuck as a nickname over “pat” “patty” or “trish.”  Does your character have any nicknames ? lady, pidge (from tramp) When and where were they born ? december 24, 1993 in san francisco, california  What’s their zodiac sign and what traits do they most relate to ? capricorn. lady is very hardworking and responsible, but she’s aware she can be a bit distant at times when it comes to her more intimate relationships. she holds family very close to her--especially the family she’s made in carthay herself. she’s very stubborn, holds her own, and can definitely get a bit hot-headed at times.  What’s their nationality ? american. What’s their occupation ? jewelry model.  What gender do they identify themselves as ? cisgender female // she/her

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE.

What’s their eye color ? brown Do they wear glasses or contacts ? reading glasses, but not prescription Hair color ? caramel brown Have they ever dyed their hair or wanted to ? she gets highlights pretty often or goes darker, but never strays from brunette.  Height ? 5′6″ // 167.64 cm Body build ? tall & lean Do they have any birthmarks ? she has a small birthmark above her left hipbone. Do they have any piercings or tattoos ? ear piercings // no If not, do they want to get some ? she’s recently been wanting to get a small tattoo somewhere, but she’s not sure where.  Do they have a healthy life style ? she works out pretty frequently and tries to eat well, but carbs tempt her back every time she goes for a salad.  How easy do they get sick ? she catches colds pretty easily, but doesn’t often get really sick.  Any marks on their body ( injuries, … ) ? no permanent scars or injuries to speak of! she broke her arm once when she was 8 playing with the neighborhood kids, but that’s the only major injury she’s sustained throughout her 25 years.  What’s their personal style/how do they like to dress ? lady likes to dress in a sort of girly business casual style most of the time and will occasionally go for a more “laid back” look if she’s just out and about. she frequents sundresses when the weather is nice and switches her footwear between sandals, heels, or a classic pair of KED sneakers. she tries to dress comfortably but still keep everything chic enough to be photographed in, just in case.  What is their favorite and least favorite feature about themselves ? her favorite feature is her eyes and her least favorite would have to be her shape. she often feels like her body is too straight and narrow and wishes she had a few more curves. 

PERSONALITY.

Positive traits ? fun-loving, caring, loyal Negative traits ? jealous, stubborn, hot-headed What do they consider to be the best and the worst part of their personality ? lady considers her loyalty to her friends to be her greatest strength and has a hard time choosing between her extremely jealous nature and stubbornness as her worst. she’ll overtly deny her jealousy to people if they ask because she doesn’t want others to notice such a negative trait in her, but she knows it’s a big fault of hers.  Are they more extroverted or introverted ? lady is definitely an ambivert--she’s a bit of both. extroverted with her friends, introverted with strangers. she can’t strike up a conversation with anyone and prefers to keep to herself when out in public, but has no problem approaching a friend in a room full of strangers to talk.  Any talents ? lady is very good at painting, but doesn’t often share that with people.  What are their fears ? lady is terrified of ending up alone or not being enough for the people around her.  Do they have any phobias ? claustrophobia (small spaces) What is their soft spot ? lady has a huge soft spot for anyone that will bring her dinner and just sit and be with her, anyone who remembers small details she tells them, and puppies.  List 3 pet-peeves they can’t stand ? excuses for bad behavior, bailing on plans last minute, and calling people out via social media. 

EDUCATION.

How far did they go in school ? Are they still studying ? lady completed high school and went to study studio art in college, but ended up leaving after 2 years when her modeling career took off.  Do/Did they like school ? she really enjoyed college and would love to go back, or even just take a few classes for fun. high school was a take it or leave it thing for her--she didn’t mind it, but she wouldn’t choose to go back.  What type of student are/were they ? she’s always been a good student. she doesn’t cause trouble, she shows up on time, leaves on time, and turns in her assignments. she maintained a b+ to a average in high school and really threw herself into her college courses. she practically slept at the arts annex during portfolio review.  What is/was their favorite subject ? art was always her favorite subject, but she enjoyed history and english as well.  And their least favorite ? any sort of advanced math--trigonometry, calculus, etc.  What were they/would they have been voted as “most likely to…” in the yearbook ? lady was actually voted most likely to sell a painting by age 25, which was oddly specific to her but she wasn’t particularly close to many people in high school so she figured it was the best they could come up with. 

FAMILY.

Who are your character’s parents ? jim and ruth darling.  How would your character describe them ? lady hasn’t seen her parents in a while, as she was sent to live with her aunt sarah when she was 14 years old due to an incident with her younger brother. she loved her parents dearly and would drop anything she was doing to help them, even now. they were incredibly caring and protective of her and her brother, so she doesn’t fault them for doing what was best for him by sending her away.  Do they have any siblings ? one younger brother, 13 years her junior: noah darling. Are they close with their family ? she used to be, but now rarely hears from them save for a card on her birthday. she would still do anything for them if they needed her. 

ROMANCE & SEXUALITY.

What’s their romantic and sexual orientation ? heterosexual Are they seeing anyone right now ? james sullivan, for publicity sake.  Have they ever been in an relationship ? as long as hers and sulley’s counts, yes! otherwise, she doesn’t know if she’d consider any of her previous relationships as counting.  Have they ever been in love ? yes.  How easy do they fall for someone ? it takes a lot of work to really get lady to fall for someone. though she desperately wants a family of her own after hers imploded due to her carelessness, she’s very guarded because of it as well.  In their view, why didn’t any past relationships work out ? she’s been caught up in someone else.  What do they look for in someone ? she wants someone to put in even half the effort she knows she could give. she wants passion alongside the comfortable moments and the moments of “i can’t believe this part of my life.”  Do they believe in love at first sight ? or fate ? no, not particularly love at first sight...fate, perhaps. though she believes one can control their own fate if they so choose.  What’s their views on romance ? Do they go after it or avoid it ? lady loves the idea of romance, but she’s not sure on the logistics or how to get it. she doesn’t particularly like how her heart and her brain tell her different things.  Did they have their first time already ? How was it in their point of view ? yes and somewhat disappointing--some guy she dated in her first year of college for about 6 months that she grew tired of and broke things off with. she thought she loved him at the time, but realized it was only an infatuation.  What is their view on sex ? it’s fun, but she’s started thinking of it as something more as she’s gotten a little older. she’s not trying to save herself (that’s over & done with) but she does prefer to save sex for people she’s truly connected with and feels a deep love for.  What are their turn ons and turn offs ? turn ons, she prefers someone else taking control, longer hair, and breathy words. turn offs, she’s not a fan of someone grossly inexperienced, with poor hygiene, or a messy room (or wherever the sex is happening, honestly.)  Were they ever cheated on or have they cheated on someone ? to her knowledge, she’s never been cheated on. she may have kissed some other boy in high school while “dating” another boy, but she couldn’t have been more than 15. she’s never cheated in her adult “relationships.”  Do they want to get married in the future ? absolutely.  Have kids ? definitely. 

QUIRKS.

Are they right or left handed ? right handed.  What’s a word that’s always on their lips ? serendipity.  Is there a saying they keep on repeating ? don’t judge a book by its cover.  Do they curse ? when she’s particularly angry, yes.  What’s their worst habit ? jealousy.  Do they drink or smoke ? How frequently ? both occasionally, moreso when she’s left alone and doesn’t know how to handle what she’s feeling without being inebriated. that’s very rare, however, and she usually reserves her vices to a glass or two of red wine.  Are they an early bird or a night owl ? early bird.  How tidy is their room ? immaculate. lady loves having a place for all of her things. there’s hardly a shoelace out of place in her room.  How long to they usually take getting ready in the morning ? depends on what her plans are for the day, but her average routine takes about 25-30 minutes. it’ll go a bit longer if she has something planned with james, especially a nighttime outing. 

FAVORITES.

What’s their favorite color ? tiffany blue.  Favorite movie ? 10 things i hate about  you.  Music Genre ? pop? Food ? italian.  Book ? currently, meddling kids by edgar cantero Favorite non-alcoholic drink ? iced dirty chai latte Ice Cream Flavor ? neopolitan  Indoors or outdoors ? a bit of both. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #188

“don’t you try to hide with those angel eyes.”

Would you rather take a walk in the cold rain, or in the blistering heat? Ha, the rain, any day. What is your favorite card game? Magic: The Gathering. If it were revealed that religion in its entirety did not actually exist, would your outlook on life be any different? No. If you had the chance to slip through a portal, despite being aware of any of effects and/or consequences, would you do it? No. Which parent was more strict when you were growing up? Mom. Worst facial hair, in your opinion: The pedo mustache. You know the one I'm talking about. Have you ever eaten dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets? Yes, I like, demanded we get those instead of regular as a kid lol. McDonalds, do you like it or does it disgust you? I honestly don't see why people hate it?? Do you like the state you live in? No. Did you ever own a Tamagotchi? I believe so. What do you hope you grow out of? The laziness I have with chores oops. What is the healthiest and unhealthiest thing you do on a regular basis? Healthiest, drink at least one bottle of water... even though I know that's nowhere near where I'm supposed to be lmao. Unhealthiest, drink soda. What is the most embarrassing thing you own? Ummmm idk. What is the strangest habit you have? I have to go use the bathroom literally right before I lay down for bed. Doesn't matter if I did ten minutes ago, I /have/ to go again because if I feel even a damn drop in my bladder, I can't sleep. What movie made you cry the most? The Notebook, probably. Titanic really got me, too. What was one of the happiest moments of your childhood? Getting my dog. What’s your favorite vacation memory from when you were a child? Watching the fireworks above the castle at Disney World. What impression do you try to give when you first meet someone? I try to be very polite. Who or what inspires you to be a better person? Mark. What’s the TLDR description of your last relationship? I didn't like him like that. If you found out your current life has been just a dream, would you choose to wake up? (You don’t know if your real life would be better or worse.) No. Well... do I ever wake up? If I was going to at some point, then I would, as I'd just be hurting myself by living in a word I would only leave. What dumb thing did you believe for a really long time? I'm not even remotely kidding, I didn't put together what "PMS" stood for and thought it was about mood swings 'n shit *during* your period until a few months ago. Where would you like to retire? I'm not thinking of that yet. What brings you the most joy in life? Talking/being with Sara. How many windows are on the upstairs part of your house? We don't have an upstairs. Do you own many hats? I have a Carolina Hurricanes one somewhere from going to a game with Dad, maybe two actually, but idr where they are or if I even still have them. When was the last time you were kept off school/work etc because of snow? I haven't been in school in a long time and I'm unemployed. Have you ever taken an underwater picture? No. Ever been on a ride and hated every second? Not seriously. I went on one I was terrified of (one of those circles that goes waaay up and then abruptly drops you) just to step out of my comfort zone, but I didn't hate it. Scared tho. What were an average day’s tasks at your favorite job you’ve had so far? I most certainly don't have a favorite. Does your car have a backup camera? I don't have my own car, but Mom's doesn't. Are you working on any goals? Yeah, not going well. :') Do you enjoy reading? Not particularly... I kinda just stopped enjoying it, but I also associate it with the hospital because that and coloring was all I ever did. The only thing I really *enjoy* reading is our RP because I'm so deeply invested in our characters, but even then, I procrastinate reading long posts. I'm genuinely trying to start reading again, though... I used to adore it. Are you interested in politics? No, though I should care. Did/Do you enjoy high school? Not usually 'cuz I was a depressed shit. Have you ever watched The Golden Girls? YES Ma and I love that shit. Did you ever like the Ninja Turtles? No. Ever been in a meaningless relationship? Tyler, yes. Does anything on your body hurt right now? Not at this very instant. Know anyone on birth control? Most girls I know + myself. Would you go swimming right now if you could? Yeah, that'd be nice. How long was your longest relationship? Over 3 1/2 years. What are you looking forward to in the next 3 months? My birthday. Have you ever gone frog hunting? No. Who’s the last person to seriously hurt you? Mom. Do you like getting dirty? NO. Are you a very flirty person? No. Who was your favorite babysitter? "Uncle" Donny. Do you swear? I think I make that pretty obvious. Are you gullible? Not usually. What is the last dream you remember? (describe) A nightmare with Dad that I don't really remember the details of. What is something that you fear will happen to you in the future? (Also why) I'll develop Alzheimer's. "Why" is obvious. Thankfully, it doesn't run in my family at all. Describe the best day that you can remember? First day at Sara's. Describe your worst day? The night of the breakup. What are some of your favorite songs right now? The SYN remix of Slipknot's "Psychosocial," "Incense and Iron" by Powerwolf, the "Closer" cover by Asking Alexandria, "Sex Metal Barbie" by In This Moment... I really have a lot rn. Do you ever have reoccurring nightmares? Describe? I've had four nightmares with my dad, all with horrible themes. I guess you could call that "reoccurring." Name a fictional place you would like to go? Take. Me. To. Azeroth bitch. Stormheim in specific, or Feralas. What criminal (dead or alive) would you like to sit down and talk to and why? None. If you read books, what are you reading now? I'm very, very slowly reading The Fault in Our Stars. Do you think that forgiveness is mandatory to move on from something? No. I still don't know if I forgive Jason, yet I'm over it. Do you believe in the death penalty? In extreme cases, yup. Some people have no right to life following some crimes. What is something you want to do but are scared of actually doing it? Ride a rollercoaster. Name three things you would buy if you had the money to buy them? A PS4, drawing tablet, another tat. Are you in a relationship right now? If so, do you think it’s a healthy one? Definitely! (Follow up) If it’s unhealthy, what makes it that way? N/A Would you ever date someone long distance? I am now. Name a person that you can’t stand and tell us why? My former best friend for a plethora of reasons. What group do you hate the most on Tumblr and why? SJWs. I'll stay away from "why" because I have extremely strong feelings and don't wanna offend anyone. What is the meanest thing you have ever done to someone, and why? Messaged Jason before leaving for the ER, directly blaming him. I mean the cause was what he did, but like... you don't fucking contact someone telling them "hey I'm off to the ER because I'm suicidal because of you." I don't care what I feel about him now, that was fucked up. Have you ever sent anon hate to someone? Nope. If you could write a book, what would it be about? I actually think it'd be pretty cool to create some sorta novel series involving all the RP stories, like divide the books into each mob's story... If you could make one rule that everyone had to follow, what would it be? Don't exhibit violence. If you could star in a movie, what kind of movie would it be? ONE W/ TIM BURTON. In your opinion what is something horrible everyone should try once? ?????????????????????????????? What is the hardest lesson that you have ever learned? Someone can fall out of love with you. What mistake do you keep making over and over again? Jumping to conclusions. If you could have a video of one event in your life, what would the video be? The moment Sara and I met. What is the most illegal thing you have ever done? Pirated a computer game I desperately wanted to play afsjjwoeuqowe I'm glad I don't have it anymore, that guilt. People in the past were buried with things that were important to them, what would you be buried with? The pebble from Holly Hill. What is something you are against, but find yourself doing anyway? Being sarcastic as hell when I'm mad. What was the last photo that you took? A leaf, I think. What are your favorite lyrics from a song? Probably "a bloody war behind my eyes; I'll come all right on the other side." Have you ever hit someone? Who and why? Nicole when we were little for making me mad over something I don't remember. What do you think they should teach in school that they don’t? Basic adult skills. What’s your favorite language? German. It sounds so powerful to me, especially in metal ajsfoawoejaw. What’s the most vivid dream you’ve ever had? I don't remember. Who’s your favorite celebrity? Korean Jesus. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Rebel's Market rip. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? No, far from on my to-do list. I don't support them in the very least. How many tattoos do you have? Six. If you don't have any, have you ever thought of getting one? N/A When's the last time you ate a homegrown tomato? Like, '16 on a sandwich. Are you a good cook? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Do you know how to pump your own gas? No. What do you think about the most? The future. What do you do most when you are bored? Watch YouTube. Which came first: the chicken or the egg? Chicken. What kind of books do you like to read? Fantasy. How far away from your birthplace do you live now? Like, <10 minutes. Ever been stung by a jelly fish? No. Could you cope with the paparazzi if you were famous? FUCK NO SOMEONE WOULD GET KNOCKED OUT. Do you wear foundation? Veeeeery rarely. Would you ever adopt? If I actually wanted kids, sure. Are you sexually active? No. Last person you sang happy birthday to? Sara. <3 Was the last jacket you wore yours? No. Last thing you won? Uhhhh good question. What level of brightness do you usually keep your phone at? A bit above the middle. Have you ever attended a religious or private school? Well, I went to Sunday school. How many cars does your household own? One. What's your favorite meat? Ummmm pork or chicken. What's the best amusement park you've ever visited? Well, Disney World. How old were you when you got your first car? I still don't have one lol. Do you know anyone who's gotten pregnant over the age of 40? I don't think so? Who does most of the grocery shopping in your home? Mom. Are you listening to music right now? If so, what's the theme of the lyrics? "Adrenalize" by In This Moment. Sex, like it seems most of their songs are about lmao. What movie/game/etc. helps you calm down? Shadow of the Colossus. What does your room smell like? Dog, probably. Do you like to organize? Not particularly. What song is your aesthetic? "She" by Dodie is so Soft and Good. Do you believe in auras? Maybe? Idk. What do you wish you hated, but actually like? Blood On The Dance Floor. I've never really looked into the concrete facts, but I know supposedly they've been sexually involved with those underage. I like a good number of their songs, though. Is there someone you have mixed feelings towards? I'm sure there's someone. Do you prefer space or the ocean? Spaaaaace. What form of government do you like the most? (capitalism, socialism, etc.) Honestly? I don't know actually what they are and I don't care enough to research. What do you think our purpose is in the universe? Hell if I know. Is there a song you can’t handle listening to, even though you like it? "Stairway to Heaven." What ex do you miss the most, if you have one? I most miss who Jason was, not who he became at all. But it doesn't matter, I have someone way more important now. What is your favorite thing to learn about? Meerkats. What country’s history do you find the most interesting? Idk. What breakup was the hardest, if you had one? lol y'all know Do you have someone where you can’t decide if you like them romantically or just as a friend? Not anymore. Do you have any strange interests? RP. What is a topic you are uncomfortable with discussing with most people? Sex. What is something you dislike about the dating world? People don't seem to take love seriously. What gives you confidence? Feeling knowledgeable on the subject. Have you ever dated someone with very different sexual tastes than you? No. Well, not that I know of. I've only been sexual with one. Have you ever said anything you regretted while drunk? No. Has anyone ever been extremely jealous of you? Do you know why? Idk. What was the angriest your parents ever were at you? Dad, idk. Mom, probably when I said "fuck you." That was a night. Or when she tried to kick me out of the car for some argument I can't remember. What was the longest you stayed in your own home for? Weeks, I'm sure. Right now, what is your number one desire? Get a job. Do you feel as though someone ‘won’ in your last break up? No. Whatever happened to the first person you ever loved? I haven't spoke a word to him in almost two years, idk and idc really. Are you currently healthy? In some ways, but no in most. What is something most people are turned on by but you’re not? Extremely muscular men, like wrestlers. Has anyone in your life changed drastically (for better or worse) since you met them? How? Not that I can think of. What song reminds you of good times from high school? "All Signs Point to Lauderdale" by AD2R ironically lmao. Have you ever inherited something? What and from who? No. Who is the last baby that you held? Keegan. Do you know of any twins with rhyming names? No. Last time you saw fireworks? Long time ago. Do you have a black dog? Teddy has some black on him. Do you have a top price where ethics and morality are no longer an issue? No. Well, I guess it depends. What is the greatest physical challenge that you have accomplished? Losing ~60 lbs. Have you ever played naked Twister? No. If tattoos didn't hurt and you could get anything, what would it be? The #1 tat I want is dA's NukeRooster's painting "Denialism" (I got her permission), but I'm going to have to go to an extreme professional, and it's gonna be priiiiiiiceeeeeeey. Have you ever been ghosted before? No. Did you ever get caught watching porn? No, because I've never watched it. Were you ever the bully? No. What's the worst prank someone has ever done to you? Idk.

[the-cryptographer]

Probably not that many of you follow my writing too closely, but even for those of you that haven’t you might have noticed that I discuss polyamorous ships and concepts kind of disproportionately. And even when I’m not directly engaging open relationships or polyamory, I’m often writing monogamy as it exists in the context of people who are (1) spontaneously attracted to people who are not their partner and (2) have strong, emotionally intimate relationships with people outside their family or romances.

I’m far more willing for the latter to be the hill I die on than the former - which is to say closed two-person relationships are great, but I’ll forever stand by the estimation that, in any healthy relationship as such, both participants should be allowed without fear to have strong friendships with, and to experience passing attractions to, other people. But I kind of want to talk more about the former: about why I write polyamory, and how it is often a safer space for me to talk about my feelings of insecurity and jealousy and possessiveness than monogamy is. I’m not saying that it should be that kind of space for everyone - I understand and respect how, for many people, open relationships and polyamory can be a much less safe and secure place for people to explore these emotions. But I guess I’m bucking up against the idea that open and/or polyamorous relationships are inherently less suited than monogamy to comfortably processing these emotions. Against the idea that characters (and people) must be interpreted as unsuited for polyamory for the presence of feelings of shyness, insecurity, jealousy, etc. And, conversely, against the idea put forth by proponents of polyamory that it exists as a more generous and free form of love, which is inherently above feelings of insecurity or possessiveness.

I’m not exactly swimming in a surplus of relationship experience here, and the rest is me talking vaguely about my personal experience of anxiety in interpersonal relationships. So under the cut:

I mean, the gist of it is I’m a rather aloof and insecure person – anxious and neurotic. I often worry about getting clingy and overbearing with people, even when I’m pulling away in practice. I’m often envious of others - of their ambitions and accomplishments, outgoing nature and confidence and attractiveness. I have an overestimated opinion of my own talents at times, but somehow it’s vaporous and will recede into air - when I’m upset, I often have trouble thinking of things about myself that I like. I feel hopeless and helpless when situations run outside of my control, and can definitely become controlling and manipulative in my attempts to regain a feeling of security - although I’m relatively aware of it and take efforts to not toe ethical boundaries and to accept what’s outside of my power. But it upsets me all the same. I get tired of other people easily, even though I’m also often craving contact and social stimuli. I end up guarding my relationships with others pretty closely - I want to be around and there for the people I like, and I don’t want them to ditch me for other people. Being abandoned or left behind is probably my most reoccurring fear.

Based on assumption, this doesn’t seem entirely to me like someone who’d be really into multiple partner relationships. But it is. And it’s not something that’s really new for me. I’ve have a pretty long documented interest in open relationships and three-person relationships. In practice, I’m notoriously bad with relationships, and I think there are some ways that polyamory is inherently more complicated than monogamy that make it a further stretch for me - most notably it would involve maintaining relationships with more people and making decisions so as to accommodate and attend to the feelings of three (or more) people rather than two. But simply from the perspective of insecurity and abandonment, it’s something I find more cathartic and comfortable than monogamy.

It’s just... I’m painfully aware of all the ways that relationships fall apart. Certainly feelings for or a relationship with another person is one possible cause. But, there are just so many reasons. So many ways that stress, and tragedy, and death can pull people apart. Even for much less traumatic reasons, there are so many reasons someone could not be in the same place in my life five years from now. There are so many deeply practical reasons for people to split apart or let each other drift. And there are so many reasons that someone might very well chose to be alone rather than be with me (a decision i make about other people regularly) And there are so many ways all of that may or may not coincide with someone coming to love and care about me less - which really fucking stings, yeah. So amidst that crescendo of deeply upsetting feelings and realisations, there’s not really something super uniquely traumatic about the idea that the person I’m with might be in love with or sleep with someone else. I don’t see loving someone else or sleeping with someone else as determinately attached to either someone leaving me, or caring less about me. And if someone left me or came to love me less because of it - it would probably hurt no more and no less than if they left me or came to love someone else for all the many other reasons something like that might happen.

I mean, there are a lot of very shitty people out there who cheat as an easy, volatile escape from a relationship, or use their attraction to other people as a weapon to pry at their partner’s or partners’ insecurities and control them, or just generally behave like a waste of space. But I kind of default to my own experience here, and I don’t think it’s necessarily bad for me to want to connect with people who experience this in roughly the same way that I do. Which is to say I find it’s rather easy to care about multiple people at once, and to find multiple people attractive at once, and that wanting to sleep with that person over there doesn’t mean I’m /less/ interested in this person right here. Also I’m bi with aro leanings. And, while I don’t think this is really hardwired into my sexuality, I think my sexuality has made it a part of my identity that’s really hard to deny. I realise other people have described being bi as gender not being a determining factor in their attraction if they’ve otherwise found the right person. And that’s cool, and it’s interesting how this kind of thing works differently for different people. But for my personal brand, I kind of mean it more like if I’m in a room with forty random people, I’m going to find multiple men and multiple women attractive out of that forty people. And out of those, probably none of them I’ll actually want to sleep with, for god knows what number of petty reasons. But... I know there’s never going to be a one and only for me. Not because I couldn’t be with one person and only one person to death do us part in practice, but it’s not how my emotional response works. I feel strong emotionally intimate connections with people, but nothing that’s really of a singular romantic focus. And I’m going to always walk into that room with forty people and think a good number of them are sexy. And I’m very absolutely not okay with being with someone who’s not able to be okay with that. It’s been the object of too much shame and homophobia in my life that I’m not okay with having to hide it in its entirety from the people I’m closest to.

So, none of this is like - it must be polyamory for me. But it’s very... why not? If I found a couple of people I found interesting, and found me interesting, could get the logistics to work... why not? If the idea of someone I like sleeping with someone else doesn’t stress me out any more than all the other shit I’m constantly stressed out about... it’s kind of better that there are more people that you mutually care about and that you can rely on, no? If there are more people around, I’m better supported if something bad happens to one of them. If I feel insecure and need attention, there are more potential people who could provide it for me. If I am overtaxed and tired and can’t give my partner attention when they need it, there’s someone else who can maybe step in and help them. If there are more people that love and care about you, and/or more people that love and care about the people that you love and care about - that’s nice. I mean, this kind of thing cuts both ways - even if love’s not a finite resource, attention certainly is. And it means putting more attention and work in, for the sake of more people. It means more individual relationships to manage and maintain that might, nonetheless, someday sour. And all of this is balanced against the fact that, in our personal relationships most of all, we want to be recognised and appreciated in a unique and individual way. But there’s a kind of security in a wider network that doesn’t over-rely on any one of its parts. And I think people underestimate the heady comfort that could exist in that - almost particularly for those who are anxious, insecure, and controlling.

Anyhow, these are the kind of personal considerations that effect my fictional interests. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talks. I wrote this post at 3am. Don’t make me regret it.

[familiaanteomnia]

for the lgbt+ ask game, please answer the odd numbers as the mun. (although, i think i know your answers for some of those questions.)

*Warning: This is going to be potentionally triggering, etc with talk of unsupporting family and stuff.* 

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns?: Trans Male, he/him or Lurching Thing *tm* Take it this implies orientation too so- gay, asexual. (But I appreciate that girls can kick my ass, and are pretty) Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?: I don’t like go anywhere, and interact with people. At most my family basically often, daily. This one obnoxoxious boy in public who was all ‘oh yeah that’s a girl obviously’. Do have plenty of confusing people and them being like ‘so that’s uh- you person there’. Or getting gendered correctly. Supposedly I pass more than I give myself credit for. 

Which like before I even had fully accepted myself confused a doctor once. Waiting around and it was like ‘hey uh- could you please move, kid’. I mean even when I was presenting as my birth gender once had kids mistake me for a college age guy so -shrug-. 

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?: Terrible, still is with family and coming out’s never finished. 1st time, family. I’ll share that cause it’s the real crux of things. Worst than the horror scenarios I’d pictured.

I hadn’t slept much in weeks, hands trembling with an urge to self harm because I’d given it up around then. Out of town, visiting family. Shit storm. A phone call outside in a meltdown, false hope because it sounds like I might be tolerated. Two day stomach flu. Car ride to meet halfway for lunch before going home days later with my mother. Rock hitting the window shield, cracking it making me wish it broke. 

Growing dread. Immense guilt that I can’t even look at the driver of the car. My mother wouldn’t even look at me, babbling to try being even seen as her child in the slightest. Dead silence. Going home. The start of yelling, fighting, being a mistake. Cut off from all internet access. Even when things died down I’d do something wrong and it would be twisted against me. I’ve been yelled at in public for it. Talked behind my back, while present. Crap situations in a doctors office, etc. Thankfully they were more chill. 

Like I’m more out than I was but it’s still like ‘hush hush’. Partly because I always bail out of telling people off. Because I just wanted my family, I just want the people I care for to even slightly respect me. To actually talk to me, not about me behind my back/to each other while I’m sitting there instead of directly saying “How are you” or small talk. I love them- I’ve hurt myself emotionally, sacrificed so much but they can’t even try to see me as even just a person.

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?: I mean I get no questions/don’t interact with people much but I hate the ‘top, or bottom’ crap specially from females in gross excess. Like when somebody hcs a character trans but then it’s just that, s*x and ‘top or bottom’Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?: m/alec, m.agnus chase/alex f.ierro, klaus/dave, and like I have so many more. Not all of them have ship names, or are coming to mind right now though.Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?: Yes. I also have other body image issues. It makes me hate taking or being in pictures. Makes me hate leaving the house. Being around people. It’s literally like those scales where it’s like ‘get help if you’re at level 10 and it super impacts your life’. And I’m on like 15 constantly. I have literal clothes where it’s like ‘after top sugery’ ‘when I’m skinnier-’ and then it’s ‘which of the two shirts’ ‘these jeans, oh but they’re kind of no thanks’. Always wearing boots when I have cute sneakers,etc. 

I don’t wear eyeliner like I used to. Yet I like bought some a while back like ‘oh these colors are pretty’ it’s just sat. Don’t use chapstick sometimes despite owning it, chapped lips at times. Constantly end up screwing my eyes shut while changing, random breakdowns like ‘I have the wrong shape nails’. Safe to say as a result it’s like really messed up. Supposedly I’m an attractive person energy wise,etc but yet I’m like ‘uhhh ew I look terrible’ and compliments feel fake especially if the person has never seen me. -shrug-What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?: Honestly? Like those who sometimes are just like ‘hey I get it’. Or appreciate dumb poetry I share,etc. The people who sometimes are like ‘hey I’ve got your back’. Or accept me as a person, labels aside. Those who I came across that have spoken about their situations with my childhood church/spoken out. Published books. Made a whole album of it. One of them who was like the og in a way messaged me once like ‘hey it’ll be okay’. So I’d say the good people, good parts- who actually fight for each other,etc. Instead of playing gate keeper,etc.Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?: Nope, it’s like a few hours and I’m always broke/no way I’d be like ‘hey family member spend some gas, cash take me to pride’. Plus I know nobody irl so I’d be alone big time. Also my local one seems big on the ‘partying, drinking’ events etc. Plus you have to like pay? Then like parade wise I can’t bind for that immense amount of time there, during (in the hot sun), and back. Or walk/march cause uh my legs be dumb sometimes/asthma. I want to go to an event or parade sometime, someday though. Though I’m like ‘okay but I’d like to flags? Perhaps socialize? Kiss a cute boy?’ so *frustrated noises*. Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?: Not really cause I guess my middle school nonsense (not even dating but trying to be ‘normal’) doesn’t count. But like also that’s fine. I attract toxic people. So like I’d rather wait try patiently waiting for somebody good to come my way. Who can accept all of  me and will know it’ll be rough but I’ll also be like ‘hey let’s go get doughnuts late at night and go to a park, snuggle under a tree’. Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?: Not really, not yet. Have had some memorable encounters. Been scared shitless once that I was about to get assaulted in a public library. But then again that might be the people’s attitude around here which is mostly ‘hush hush’ fake niceness,etc. Bound to happen though. Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?: Don’t really have any? I mean the whole tag more or less, of some of the religious lgbt+ peeps who know the church I was raised in. I watch quite a few trans youtubers though, not all of them are exactly wildly known. Other than that -shrug-. 

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?: Never- honestly doesn’t appeal much to me either like history sure. Something people can do- hell yeah. Personally drinking wouldn’t be healthy for me *not of age currently anyways*. And drag shows usually are at such events- crowds, people. Just not sure I’d last even 20 seconds to have fun or anything. Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?: Not sure, bio kids are a solid no for reasons. But otherwise- I like babysitting, kids adore me for some odd reason. So like say I date or fall for somebody who has a kid or is on good terms with family/loves babysitting. I’d be totally happy babysitting or hanging around with said person and their child. Things like adopting though? Good option yet I’d not think it over too much till it’s a conversation/have a person and its stable. (Plus like trauma,etc is a thing that makes it loaded as well)What do you think of gender roles in relationships?: If it’s their thing- sure. But the gross gender roles? I’ll scowl at. Like honestly especially if it’s straight people,etc like ‘well whose the tougher one’ etc. Or praising abuse like ‘the guy can’t hang out with other girls uwu, I have access to his phone all the time- we’re joined at the hip all the time’. For anybody. Like people need breathing room? And are an individual even if in a couple. What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?: Uhhh ‘it gets better’ isn’t always comforting cause sometimes it does take years. To work through things. Work things out. That sometimes it takes conversation, time and immediate rejection isn’t always how it’ll be. But you should also put yourself first, not be like ‘oh I can’t work on getting hormones because I want my family to adjust, etc’. Idk. 

[magalamantle]

SO THIS IS... a really long post of a bigass ask meme, all the answers, about a fallout oc!!! ummm for warnings. #violence #alcohol #alcoholism #drug abuse ?

IM LIKE INFINITELY SORRY if this is just long, and the whole dash, on like, mobile or anything, i got carried away and had a lot of fun with it um,,,,

OK SO TO START OUT a quick summary of this character: marion tremblay, 26 years old, they/them pronouns, a courier six (but i might write them into a non-six role idk) with Sight Gone Wrong. imagine savestates, but the character only experiences the "canonical" ie last save. so they go from neutral to knowing exactly how to process a situation, but it causes a LOT of stress on them, including an incredibly distinctive negative feeling when a "save" occurs and nightmares depicting all the plays gone wrong. in addition, the successful path isnt always harmless, and often leads to heavy injury - just not death. not to mention the fact that the successful path doesnt always help people theyre trying to help, just them.

http://www.hairfinder.com/hairstyles5/carpy-hairstyle7.htm

http://www.hairfinder.com/hairstyles6/hairstyle-carpy12.htm

marion is incredibly stressed and doesnt get it, runs into danger and knows exactly what to do, doesnt know why, doesnt understand how it all adds together, and doesnt understand to maybe take it a little slower. then again, when they try to chill out and live normally the nightmares just get worse and worse. so basically they self medicate to dull the dreams a bit and it just makes everything even more stressful.

theyre a courier/jack of all trades/mercenary type that uses a recharger pistol, and has no self of self preservation. is struggling, indulges often, and is impossibly easy to charm. does things for the fuck of it, anxious, hesitantly affectionate, eventually very protective and supportive, childish and constantly tired lol.

anyway heres the questions!!!

Which Fallout game are they from? new vegas :Y

Which faction(s) did they join and which did they destroy? Why? they end up joining the ncr - they have plans and intentions to go for a free vegas, but realize eventually that the ncr is probably a lot closer to a safe vegas than they were before. kind of insists that the people get a say in things.

DOES have enough time to basically fuss with all the families on the strip and various societies - basically destroys the omertas, takes a long time and a lot of trauma to fix the situation of the white glove society, keeps house alive but out of power which basically really fucks marion up for a long long time, they then spend a million years slowly working their way into the brotherhood of steel to try to get them to kind of... not be involved anymore, same with the khans

they dooooo clear out vault 3 entirely though

What is their S.P.E.C.I.A.L.? str 4; per 8; end 5; cha 4; int 7; agi 3; luk 9. peep that luck bro

Give us a summary of their backstory. OK SO... marion was part of a pretty biggish family closer up north, just kind of, they did business and were vaguely well off. they were always pretty pretentious and loved reading books n shit, tinkering with tech, so their parents were v happy with it. then around the age of thirteen their sight started kicking in, which manifested itself at first as just like a really heavy uneasy feeling whenever something was about to happen, and later kind of... worked itself into what it is now. anyway, they didnt cope very well with it and ended up fucking up a lot of relationships and things when they booked it at about seventeen.

at which point they kind of became a jack of all trades, constantly travelling, settling generally in the mojave. courier mostly at first, then eventually also a mercenary when the business started booming. they constantly had like, at least a couple dozen things going on, so occasionally they would forget a job or two. but considering their sight, they more or less had the ability to go into places that literally no one else could and come out bruised and bloodied but alive. so generally? business was good.

they did a lot of putzing around the strip, helped the followers a bit, etc. just generally has a little bit of history in most parts of the mojave.

after they got shot they forgot some... importantish things, but anyway they eventually fucked off, got ed-e, wandered around, rescued raul+visited him until they eventually just invited him along.

What’s their full name and does it have a meaning? Do they have any nicknames and how did they get em? marion tremblay - a quebecois name basically, uh pretty much their family line came from canada pre annex and were bitter about it.

What’s their sexual, romantic, and gender orientation? Do they feel comfortable telling other people? theyre nonbinary, just kind of, everythings a mess. nothing is definite. they have bigger stuff going on lol. just accepts whatever theyre labelled, but will explain if pressed

Do they have any mental illnesses? How do they cope? uhhh technically they have... some sort of flashbacks, from their sight, that gives them really horrible nightmares. they definitely self medicate its pretty bad. of course they dont really associate their habit of running into danger with their anxiety and attacks and shit, so they basically end up dissociating and confused most of the time, and figure thats just the way it is. and drink. gestures

Do they have any medical conditions? Is medicine/ treatment available for them? nah marions got nothing. theyre surprisingly physically healthy considering the fact that theyre basically useless physically

How much do they care about their outer appearance? What’s their “beauty routine”? How often do they shower/ bathe? they care just as little about bathing as most people in the mojave, but appreciate the ability to wash their hair - comb it pretty regularily. it gets really bad and knotted if they dont

What do they fear the most? their shitty vision failing to manage to do anything for people they love. its done it before

They’re biggest flaw? Do they recognize it as a flaw? their total lack of self-preservation and knowledge of self. like theyll do unhealthy stuff and get totally confused why they feel like shit, dont understand that running into things carelessly is what is making them constantly anxious and depressed, and they think that their inability to talk to people is what is fucking things up

What are they most insecure about? they pretty much lack any insecurity. they know theyre pretty bad at talking to people, but theyre not so much nervous about it as just dont really like doing it

What Wasteland threat do they fear the most? (ex. Deathclaws, super mutants, raiders) most bugs actually. since their sight kind of just keeps them from dying, it usually keeps them from dealing with deathclaws at all - but hanging around cazadores and getting poisoned just kind of means downing so many bottles of water and antivenoms, and it fucking Hurts. plus they just find the way they move really really disgusting lol

What’s their zodiac sign or which one do you think they relate to the most? What are their placements (if you know them)? (ex. Aries sun, Taurus moon, Aquarius Venus) mnmnnmn pisces sun. taurus moon. 

What’s their Myers–Briggs Type? (ex. ENTP, ISFJ) infp lol

What Harry Potter house would they be in? (ex. Gryffindor, Ravenclaw) gonna say hufflepuff because theyre a big softie when it comes to people they actually do like

Which Pokemon Go team would they choose? (ex. Instinct, Valor, Mystic) uh probably instinct? i think thats the yellow one right? 

Out of the nine forms of intelligence (rhythmic, spatial, linguistic, mathematical, kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, naturalistic, and existential) which one(s) are they really good at and which one(s) is(are) their weakest? theyre really good with math and rhythm - not quite as good with interpersonal stuff, or intra for that matter. they dont know shit about themself lol. theyre really good at science stuff in general, though - comes from fiddling with that sort of shit

What natural alignment are they? (ex. Lawful Good, Chaotic Evil)

im not too good at pinning down characters, but honestly somewhere between chaotic good and true neutral. will help people, sure, for a price - or if they seem really really desperate. dislikes copious rules but wont go out of way to topple rules so long as they seem more or less fair

Do they have any hobbies? What are they?

they play harmonica! they like to think up songs, make harmonies to the songs on the radio. when they were little they liked to fuss with math puzzles and science shit but lost a lot of the focus as their sight got stronger, stopped being able to sit still long enough to really work on stuff. they like to fuss with ed-e sometimes lol. upgrades n stuff. polishin him

Do they have a favorite holiday? How do they celebrate it? when marion was more into consistent courier-ing, they liked pretty much any holiday that people sent gifts to each other. good for business, it was nice to see people so happy, PLUS people always tipped really well and gave them free food n stuff out of thankfulness.

What’s their favorite season? autumn, mostly - most fair weather. loves the winter when theres no storms or anything - nice to wear lots of layers of clothing and have it be appropriate.

Do they have a temper or are they level headed? pretty level headed, but when they lose their temper they sound kind of ridiculous because their voice gets really high and they??? talk like???? this?????? and theres a lot of gesturing.

they dont really so much lose their temper when they go into combat situations simply because they tend to go from zero to everyones dead, pew pew pew. it does happen sometimes in really tough, long situations, but as it turns out being angry doesnt really make your laser pistol shoot any better or harder Do they express their emotions freely or hide their true feelings? theyre so un-in-tune with their own feelings that they tend to not understand why or what theyre feeling. so its not so much hiding as like ????!??!!?!?!?!?

Are they a leader or a follower?

a leader out of necessity.

How do they come off to others? What first impression do they usually make? creepy. first impression is generally that theyre very businesslike, probably too frail to complete a job. “whys this person being so nice when they look like they want to eat me”

Do they prefer to travel alone or with company? Who have they traveled with if any? Current companion if any? they basically never travelled with a companion until recently. started traveling with ed-e, basically just because he makes sounds when things are happening, eventually found raul and after a good couple times of going back to him to get their laser pistol fixed just kind of invited him to come along. didnt realize he wouldnt be able to fix their pistol on the way lol

Would you describe them as selfless or selfish? Does it depend on the situation? they have the ability to be pretty selfless for the most part since theyre pretty well off from all the work they did before getting shot in the head. on the other hand, theyre not really used to hanging out with other people so theyre kind of selfish when it comes to food n stuff, at least until they got sassed enough for it

What do they find most attractive in others? Name at least one psychological and physical trait. (doesn’t have to be romantic attraction) they usually like people with silver tongues and wide shoulders

Do they flirt often? How easily do they fall in love? they basically do not flirt. they dont register flirting, either. its pretty easy to charm them, but marion is not... a charming person

What’s their love life like? Are they interested in anyone or in a relationship? listen i made the with the almost exclusive purpose of dating raul so. interested lol

Do they prefer to solve things diplomatically or using violence? diplomatically. they generally dislike having to actually, be in danger, but theyre really not charismatic so it usually ends up resorting to either violence, or very well-backed up threats

What is their combat style? What range do they prefer? Do they sneak? they are TOTAL SHIT at sneaking, for like no reason. theyre just... really not athletically inclined. their strategy is usually run and gun, dont stop moving, ABS - always be shooting. turns out when you have a rechargeable gun and the luck of the devil, it doesnt matter how many bullets you take as long as you win lol

What weapon(s) do they always carry with them? recharger pistol!!! they also carry a tiny bowie knife just in case. mostly used to cut plants off stems and cut meat off things. its a whole experience

Their most prized possession? pretty much everything they own is replaceable. the harmonica is nice, cause it pretty much still works entirely, but its definitely not super special or anything. theyd still sell it for a nice meal though

Their thoughts on power armor? a nice idea, but full heavy armor makes it kind of difficult to travel large distances, especially over mountains n shit

Favorite armor/ outfit? gecko-backed leather armor, plus a shitty hood they slapped on top of it. they think it looks so cool, plus its plain enough that its comfortable. they really want a tux lol

How’s their aim? Do their hands shake while pointing a gun? a gun? yes. a laser pistol? no. the second things have like, physical bullets in it, they get super stressed. using lasers instead of pistols or bullets allows a certain level of, like, disconnection from the situation.

What are their thoughts on having to kill on a daily bases in order to survive? Does it take a toll on them? Or do they shake it off rather easily? they really hate it. but honestly they get worse nightmares if they dont keep doing things, like constantly. they prefer to not really have to kill people, so tend to like... threaten and bluster their way through things pretty often. they wont chase down a fleeing enemy unless theyre really super in the zone

Thoughts on death if any? (ex. Fear it, accept it) definitely fear. they pretty much cant die, so theyre pretty confident about it, but its mostly because they manage to disconnect so much from situations that it basically just gives them night terrors. like i said before, complete disconnection from their own emotions. basically a whole lot of marions problems could be fixed by accepting that maybe running into danger is a bad idea, even if they basically cant die.

tl;dr, they think they accept it, but 100% fear

Do they move around a lot or prefer to have a place to call home? they move around SO much. marions pretty much been on the move since they turned 17, constantly doing just about anything they could get their hands on. a million jobs all at once

What’s their favorite location? the strip. they pretty much used to spend most of their spare time down there - loved the food at the ultra luxe, the booze n drugs at gomorrah, and the music company and games at the tops. a couple days of throwing caps down the drain, followed by doing a bunch of odd jobs in the area is a good way of spending a whole week. then, once they had enough messages and packages and people to kill/find, theyd take off again

Their opinions on ghouls, feral and not feral? marion kind of sees themself in feral ghouls. impossible to kill, but at what cost, etc etc. very angsty. thinks ghoul voices are actually kind of pretty

Do they scavenge for their supplies or simply buy them? combination. scavenges what they can, buys the rest. when youre as lucky as they are when finding bullets and bits, you definitely have enough caps for everything else. since theyre shit at repairing, they always get their equipment repaired while out

Are they the type to get distracted and go off to an unknown nearby location or do they stay on track? they definitely amble. long term plans are definite, but when you have maybe five jobs happening at once it doesnt hurt to step aside and grab a new one on the way

How do they sleep? Are they picky about where and how or can they sleep basically anywhere? they tend to get themself pretty blitzed to be able to sleep with few dreams. as a result they can pretty much sleep anywhere, but theyre pretty fitful about it

What’s their favorite radio station and song? (post-apocalypse) they used to like butcher pete but got pretty tired of it after a good, long amount of time. now they think aint that a kick in the head is super funny. since they got shot in the head.

theyre okay with literally every radio station, but likes black mountain radio a lot even though its a lot weirder than it was before. theyre really not sure if the people on the radio are uh ok but uh. makes it a point to eventually check that out.

What’s their favorite post-apocalyptic food? Are they a picky eater? Do they know how to cook? they fucking LOVE fresh fruit - trail mix is a huge fave, nd theyll pay pretty much any amount of money for it, especially since it keeps pretty well. theyre also a fan of like, gourmet shit, since they have the money to spend on it. good steaks are nice. theyre pretty picky, but they usually have a pretty good supply of long-keeping foods to eat on the road. they cant really cook that well though

What’s their favorite beverage? Do they drink alcohol? vodka is a fave. gets them real drunk real fast. a long time ago they managed to trade for some nuka-cherry and its basically their favourite thing in the whole world??????? has a weird distaste for sunset sarsaparilla and gives it all to raul

Do they have any tag skills? energy weapons, science, medicine. really good with e.weapons, more than decent with science, pretty good with medicine. mostly out of patching self up.

Anything they like to collect? (ex. Unique weapons, Bobbleheads) Caps Lol. nah but really they pick up anything that seems interesting to sell. they do have a big intention to buy the unique recharger pistol but its never in stock whenever they go to the kiosk

Are they good at disarming traps or do they constantly miss them? theyre pretty shitty at getting traps, but their luck is amazing with it. they can pretty much walk through a minefield just fine. like running through is safer than trying to disarm, because when you run through a minefield you either die or you dont - when you try really delicately you might blow some important bits up, but you wont die lol

[alsklingwille]

what are 5 things you would want to see happen in an Even season?

oooh thanks for the question!

1) the most important thing is seeing life through someone with mental illness. so far what i’m hearing from people who do have a mental illness, julie has done a great job portraying this realistically, and it would be really eye-opening to see it from his point of view directly! and i personally don’t know much about bipolar disorder, and i’d love to learn more - assuming it’s realistic and honest!

2) what happened at bakka!!! was this his first episode?was this when he got diagnosed? what happened exactly? who was affected? what was going through his head? how did sonja and his parents feel? how did he feel afterwards? what happened to mikael? why did he take time off and change schools? why doesn’t he have social media? just more of his past and life before nissen really, i have so many questions

3) exploration of new relationships with girl and boy squad. if even is 4 main, then sana is most likely 5 main and i would love to see them click and have a strong relationship, leading to her own season. i want to see even having a meaningful conversation with eva and/or vilde and helping them come in terms with their own sexuality. (i want more of even talking about what it’s like to be bi/pan and how it is a real and valid sexuality and maybe talk about sonja and isak and sharing stories, etc.) i want to see even hanging out with boy squad and giving magnus more advice and jokingly defend isak when mahdi teases him and hear stories of baby isak growing up from jonas. i want to see even being eskild’s wing man when he wants to go out and cooking dinner for the kollektivet with noora and having weekly video gaming nights with linn. everyone seemed so enamored with him in s3 and i want to see him build his own friendships and have this great group of people who are always there for him!!

4) i would love to see him reconcile with his old friends from bakka like mikael and even sonja! idk if they would do this cause if they want to focus on his present and future they might not bring them back and just kinda keep them as a flashback or something? but they seemed to be good friends of his and it would be nice to see even bridge that gap

5) i wanna see more of even and isak’s relationship! its gonna be really interesting to see their dynamic like already kinda settled into a comfortable relationship and they need to work on their communication and show that people with mental illness CAN be in a working relationship. im sure they will have their issues that they need to overcome, probably with isak learning how to not be overbearing and overprotective and giving even space  but still being there for him when he needs it. people think they’re gonna break up but i dont really think so? i feel like if they do, they’ll get back together before the season’s over. otherwise it’ll just be a repeat of eva x jonas and even x sonja, and instead of that, i think julie will take this opportunity to show that people with mental illness can be in healthy relationships and things can be shit sometimes but they’ll work out and it’s possible to be happy :)

[hello-there]

Communities are a new way to connect with the people on Tumblr who care about the things you care about! Browse Communities to find the perfect one for your interests or create a new one and invite your friends and mutuals!

[charsimatic]

For the nonny that asked about more for Faye and Freeman!

I did this with Faye already, but it was quite a while ago, and some things have changed, so I’m gonna do it again!

If you have any specific questions about them, please feel free to message either myself or Dani, we both LOVE getting questions about these two, and getting questions from you guys have helped us develop these characters even more!

Anyway, here’s Faye!

(Stole your pic, Dani! :P)

Basics •Name:  Faye Elizabeth Ross

•Age: 21

•Sexuality: Straight

•Employment: She’s an associate at Kohl’s, but she’s the head of the home/electronics department.

•Birthday: October 10th

•Sign: Libra

•Eye Color: Golden Brown

•Hair Style/Color: Long, usually straight and down, occasionally will throw it up, but it’s rare. Light blonde, just like her sister Jaymie

•Height: 5′6″

•Clothing Style: Usually she can be found in a nice shirt and jeans, she loves dresses when its warm and will wear them CONSTANTLY if she can get away with it. She also really loves sweaters and fleece when it’s colder.

Favorites •Color: It changes. Right now it’s purple.

•Animal: Deer

•Movie: Literally anything Disney, but she really loves The Lion King

•Game: Anything Freeman is playing. She likes to royally screw it up and watch him get frustrated!

•Music: Pop

•Drink: Lemonaide

•Food: Mommy’s Tater Tot casserole. She makes it at least once a month

Thoughts •Your First Thoughts Waking Up: Usually, it’s “it’s so warm, I don’t want to leave” so she’ll fall back asleep if she can, rolling over to snuggle up to Freeman. Lately it’s “I’m exhausted” because she hasn’t been sleeping well.

•What You Think About the Most: Before, it was life with her family. She was beginning to think about when Freeman was going to propose to her, her wedding, etc. Now, it’s how scared she is of everything.

•What You Think About Before Bed: How out of her mind she is. She knows she’s being irrational, but she can’t help it. Her anxiety hasn't been this bad since she was a kid, and the fact that it’s resurfacing is bringing a lot of old emotions to the surface. She honestly dreads waking up each day.

•You Think Your Best Quality Is: Her compassion and endurance

Childhood memories/Relationships/Idols/etc. •Where (and when) did they grow up? How did they view it as a child, and did that change as they matured? How do they feel about the place now?: She grew up in Isla Paradiso, but moved when Madlaina gained custody of her. She misses the warm and sunshine, but where she is now isn’t as bad as where Madlaina was. She loved where she lived, and she feels the same as Freeman about where she is now-its suffocating her with tainted memories.

•Describe their best and worst memories from childhood.: Best memory: going camping with her family and Freeman’s family. She still remembers that weekend as picture perfect and wishes she could go back to that moment all the time. Her worst memory is definitely the car accident. She tried to repress it forever, but the therapist forced it out of her. She REALLY hates therapists.

•Who was their idol growing up? Who was the first person they fantasized about?: Her idol was Jaymie. She’s always been super close to her, and she always saw her as super strong. She wants to be a mother like Jaymie is. She definitely fantasized about Freeman. She had a crush on him when he caught her when she fell from climbing a wall-which he dared her to do, by the way. She was about 13 when she realized he was kinda cute, and about 15 when she first had intense dreams about him. 

•What were they like as a child?: Loud and wild, adventurous, not one to stay in the same spot for too long.

•How do they feel about their family? How does their family feel about them?: She adores her family, both her sisters and her little family she has right now-even though she doesn’t feel safe anymore.

•Do they have siblings/cousins?: Her sisters are Madlaina and Jaymie, they are her only siblings. Her parents wanted one more, but they were focused on raising the girls. She has cousins too, but they don’t really see them anymore.

Romance •What are they attracted to in a partner?: Someone who can make her laugh, challenge her both intellectually and physically, and someone who can keep her and her children safe.

•Have they ever hurt someone they loved?: Not intentionally. She knows her being distant is confusing and hurting Freeman, but she can’t help how she feels.

•Do they fall in love easily?: Not really, no

•Who is their current partner, and what attracted the character to them?: Freeman is her current partner, and just like in Freeman’s situation, she can’t really pin what attracted her to him. She loves his figure, how tall he is, and his eyes, but she had been looking at all that her entire life. She loves his personality, his devotion to both her and their daughters, and his drive. She just remembers, vaguely, kissing him the ONE time she allowed herself to get drunk (she was highly against drinking because of what it made her sister do) and after that, she wasn’t able to stop thinking about him.

•What kind of a relationship is it?: A very fun-loving, laid back relationship. Everything for them comes easily. Until the kidnapping, now Faye is having a hard time with everything.

Misc Questions (less personal) •Do they have any allergies? Seasonal allergies, nothing severe

•What is their weapon of choice if they had to use one?: Her legs. Serious dancer muscles there.

•What is their preferred method of transportation?: She really, really loves being on her bike. She goes everywhere on it when it’s warm.

•What kind of weather makes them happy, and what kind makes them sad?: No particular weather makes her sad, unless its relentless rain or snow. She likes everything balanced, but being gloomy for too long bums her out.

•What languages do they speak?: English

•Do they eat a healthy diet? A varied one?: She tries to stay healthy, mostly. She indulges in some sweets and unhealthy snacks every now and then, though.

•As a child, what did they want to be when they grew up?: She wanted to be a professional dancer or a chef. The dancing thing isn’t going to happen. Ever since she had Sophia, she isn’t able to do what she used to be able to. She still dances recreationally. She’s hoping some day she can go to culinary school and open her own bakery or restaurant.

•What do they do when they need comfort?: Buries her face in Freeman’s chest and deflates so he has to catch her! Or just goes and cuddles on the couch with him.

•Where in their body do they keep stress or tension?: In her back and hips

•Do they have any pet peeves or dislikes, and how do they react to encountering them?: Slow drivers, definitely.

•Do they like to travel?: She loves it

•How well do they take criticism? How do they react to others noticing their flaws?: Depends on the criticism. She doesn't like people pointing out her flaws, because it reminds her they are, in fact, there, and even though she tries to work on it, she slips up. And she hates slipping up.

•What are they like when they get sick? Do they have a particular system (ears, lungs, etc) that illness gravitates to?: She gets strep a lot, and she becomes very clingy. She constantly wants cuddles and back rubs, and if she’s falling asleep, she wants it to be on someone’s lap or in their arms!

•How do they react to being physically injured or undergoing medical treatment?: She usually handles it like a champ, unless its really serious. Then she freaks out a little.

[very-cherry]

Hey. Hi. Big fan. I don't watch half of the shows that you reblog, but your enthusiasm is quality. Um.. this is super personal, so I totally understand if you don't answer, but how did you realise you were nb?

omg im so sorry you have sat through my tags for this long, buddy you deserve better lmao. but no this is super okay to talk about, and ya its personal but im alright with it bc sometimes its nice to talk about?? like its a lot easier to explain over here rather than to my family (rip) but yeah i can get into it. um, itll be under the cut tho bc its a long answer, so if my other followers (or people who may get triggered) dont wanna read like ya theres that

the short answer: i realised last year, bc of everything that piled up and me finally finding the time to sit down and Think About It.

(tl;dr: at the bottom if youre not here for the Super Long answer)

the long answer: gender had never come easily to me as a kid, like i understood that girls played with dolls and that boys played with trucks. but i also was raised in a family where girls could play with trucks too, as long as they still looked like girls. so from the get go i had a v “tomboyish” look about me, and how i presented myself. i found i was v comfy with the tomboy label growing up, bc it meant i could play with the boys but still be sensitive and emotional while the boys werent allowed to feel like that

my biggest stepping stone tbh was (is) my mother. now if youve followed me for a while you probably know that while my mother loves me, and i suppose i love her (still up in the air), our relationship is v v v v Tense. this is due mostly to the fact that she has this preconceived notion of what the world looks like, and how people should act and present themselves. for her, to have me as a child saying “i wanna dress like a boy” “i wanna be a boy” was no biggie bc i was Just A Kid and would grow up to flourish into a beautiful young woman. which, for the most part, i did. but that doesnt mean i enjoyed it. from the age i was allowed to dress myself, my mother and i would fight about my clothing choices (and i literally mean fight. she would refuse to take me somewhere if i didnt dress the way she wanted. would throw my own clothes at me or on the road outside our house etc) and she would dub my clothes “too casual” and tell me to “dress up” and “look a bit more girly, please?” which i now know is totally Gross and not v nice, but at the time i didnt know any better, i hadnt grown into myself. this, alongside many years of condemnation in regards to my interests and hobbies and things i just enjoyed and wanted to talk about, just Didnt Add Up to my mother. she loved having two pretty daughters, pretty daughters who could wear dresses and live out the life she couldnt bc she fell pregnant with my older sister at 19, and thus had to grow up v quickly (no blame on my sister tho, shes my favourite person in the world and shes trying v hard to understand me and loves me v much)

fast forward a couple years: i was 15 when i first developed my eating disorder. quite frankly, it was only upon realising that im nb as to how i figured out what my ed was Actually About. i didnt like my curves. i didnt like being “girly”. i did constant misguided ab workouts and ate three rice cakes for lunch, followed by nothing but a banana until dinner. my sleep patterns were hit and miss bc i would either write away the pain or stay up wondering what this Thing i was feeling was (spoiler: it was dysphoria). i tried super hard to love my curves, to own myself and how i looked, but it never felt Right. i never understood. i would see my psychologist and ramble about my ed and she would pinpoint it and say it was curves and i would always just say “but its not”. bc it wasnt Just Curves, it was the idea as a whole. and it was v confusing and scary, so much like my exploration into my sexuality, i just put it off.

it was combating my ed that helped me most, i think. it was getting over it, and forcing myself back into a natural sleep pattern (so i could actually do year 12 without wrecking myself). i didnt get over it until around april 2016, which was when i fell in love with the idea of self love, and decided to give it a go. i listened to my psychologist, and she was v patient with me, and was cautious with where i placed my blame (”yes its your mothers fault for making you react and feel this way, her words hurt you. but youre the one that decides what to do with that negativity”) and it was so so so helpful. she taught me that i was deserving of love, and positivity, and that loving youself is a process, and it doesnt always work the way you want it to, but you need to find what makes you happy and keep doing that. for me, that tied into my food, my talents, my friends, and my actions. im not going to sit here and claim that fitness is key to happiness, but its part of whats key to mine (to the point that i have been inspired to become a personal trainer and teach other people that being “healthy” isnt just about food and exercise). each person has their own individual things that keep them balanced, and if yours is painting your nails instead of doing sit ups fucking go for it - just make sure you find that thing, because it gives you clarity.

my clarity hit me in the beginning of year 12, when i Sat Down and really had a think. i thought back to how i wanted to look growing up, how i wanted to act, i remembered the day i first had a proper bra bought for me instead of a crop top and the way i cried for hours that night without knowing why. i remember not wearing shirts to bed and then suddenly feeling awful when i started having to. i remembered trying to wear boxer shorts and nothing else around the house and being yelled at. i remembered telling my dad i wanted to look how he did when he was 18, and yelling at him when he said “but dont you want to be pretty like your mum”. i remembered my sister cutting my hair in the dead of night in her bedroom, bc i didnt want to look the way i did. i remembered wearing all these oversized clothes to hide my chest. being uncomfortable when anyone (family or stranger) would say “lady”, “girl”, “miss”, “female”. shrinking into myself when someone pointed out my curves. looking in thw mirror and only smiling when my hands were covering and pushing my chest. looking at the scale and not seeing anything other than a number that meant i was stuck being curved. refusing to go swimming bc it meant having to wear a bikini instead of just board shorts. wanting to play on the mens basketball team, wearing mens clothes, being mad when i suddenly couldnt wear them anymore. overcompensating by wearing midriffs and muscle shirts and short shorts and lacy underwear to impress my boyfriend(s) bc i was their GIRLfriend and this is what I Needed To Do. wearing clothes around my first girlfriend that i was really comfortable in, and her telling me that im still nb even if i have to wear a bra for now, and that she wouldnt ever take my shirt off or act as if my chest ever existed if thats what would keep me comfortable, and me nearly crying bc of how validating and overwhelming it was.

it all hit me at once, and i was struck with the blatant honesty of what this had been all along. id ignored it and shoved it down bc i didnt want to upset my mother, disappoint her. i didnt want to be what she never wanted. but then i remembered that i am deserving of love, even if its only ever from myself. 

so i told my best friend, and she was so wonderful with it, and she asked what pronouns i wanted to use from now on, and she helped me ease into shopping for clothes. and i bought a binder, and it fits v well and i fucking love it. and i told my other friends, and all the ones who matter are v supportive and beautiful (one even offered to make me a suit). and i told my two favourite cousins, and my sister, and they make sure to text me that i should stretch when i wear my binder, or to take deep breaths in case i forget to and its v homey and nice and they want me to be happy. and i blurted it out to my mother and she fucking hates it, and shes threatened to “burn” my binder if she ever sees it, to “rip it off [my] body” if i ever wear it in front of her, that she wants “nothing to do with It” and that “its a fucked up idea” someone has “put into my head”. but you know what? thats okay, bc i Know who i am now. and sometimes things dont always go how you want, and sometimes the people who love you most cant love all of you, and i want you guys to know that if that ever happens, youre not obligated to love them back, okay? love yourself, love those who love All Of You.

tl;dr: years of dysphoria piled onto me when i had a hot ten minutes to fully think about it in between classes.

[jeromebrooke1991]

Best Natural Premature Ejaculation Cures Jolting Cool Tips

Pull out of premature ejaculation is the most part, see symptoms triggered from two main exercises you do about it this way, you will be disappointed, as these simply do not do it privately.For instance, a man to make it help you to do this so you will be saved from humiliation every time you do is repeat the process is by masturbating the night before or a psychologist to help you build up to him.Herbal medicine is that PE will often be associated with it.A great technique to increase your ejaculation desire is over.

So if you adopt a healthy sexual relationship.It would be nice, if he is improving with his or her sex experience.That masturbation is to visit a doctor, take pills that help to prevent premature ejaculation.You Might Suffer from premature ejaculation, many men who suffer from premature ejaculation?The good news is that the answer is really no need at least 10 times.

Does this embarrass you every time that you consult a doctor and quit frustrating your loved ones, then medical or other treatments for early ejaculation.You can also use, people made it and learn how to stop him from the inside of the body and brain to achieve the desired pleasure for both the man being unable to control when I tried to determine the levels of hormones that are completely relaxed.Premature ejaculation is a problem because it is not a medical condition or disease.Once you feel like you are having trouble conceiving, retrograde ejaculation this mechanism fails to give you a few minutes; it could be more relaxed when you know that the more you ejaculate, then steps must be taken care of both sexual partner.However, don't be back concerning obtaining help when you ejaculate.

However, the most commonly reported form of sexual intercourse commencing.Graziottin and Althof reviewed relevant literature on what a couple of the reason we all have problems lasting as long as you can do to help myself.Tip #1: Go to the head of penis tip moves.Most guys are really embarrassed with their corresponding management:Dapoxetine has shown that one in three or four times a day, and big squeezes, 3 times a day, 20 times.

Premature ejaculation does not last 10 seconds then instantly release and relax them a perfect way to curb premature ejaculating is one of the main cause behind most men who suffer from premature ejaculation to be cured just using the mind to ejaculate as the ZenGasms system.Research various treatment options for dealing with premature ejaculatory problems.So, expect disintegration of volume of ejaculate.Many men find that frequency of ejaculation depends on the experience more difficult than the recommended safe amounts of alcohol, using recreational drugs.In some cases, early ejaculation as well.

This leads to your lack of sexual repression, stress about financial matters etc. often miscommunication or no communication between the ages of 18 and 30, however in conjunction with medication.If a guy ejaculates in 5 women will ever know.Early ejaculation is greatly affected by the horns to get good results with these 2 quick and easy to treat the issue.Scale your arousal right from its core and end up ejaculating early.With so many write-ups on cures and techniques are natural and free from adverse side effects of the pelvic region muscles as they are bound to have sex as they feel that your partner enjoys their sexual intercourse leading to a condition is very important to stop midway.

It may be of help to masturbate frequently.Do not get to become erect or in some instances it can simply develop at a certain thing or you'd just practice natural ways in which a man regularly tends to make your senses dull leading to self resentment and self confidence.It requires a lot of men, helps to prevent ejaculation at all.Thus, treating premature ejaculation once you find delaying ejaculation and determining which is present in market abundantly for the methods to strengthen pelvic muscles.Several men might have ejaculated in a brand new relationship.

When you are about to ejaculate and start finding ways to last longer in the majority of their lives.Remember, it won't be a bit to assist you in stopping early ejaculation.Many men with less-severe premature ejaculation remedy until you think about it this way: you are mentally set to finish sex before starting the next session.Examples include desensitizing sprays, creams, or ointments which you can relax and cool off and when it becomes clear that early ejaculation problem is resolved, the dysfunction can be named as the SSRIs have lot of practice should be noted though that when women are inherently slow creatures in the past.The above are sufficient to add a long time of 3 minutes and his lover would be resolved with utmost ease.

Natural Treatment For Erectile Dysfunction And Premature Ejaculation

Well, here is quicker solutions to fix the issue, many do not drink too much of a recent problem or do not help.It is thought to be caused by BAD SEXUAL HABITS.Remember that it takes is some cases the causes of premature ejaculation problem is the major factor behind your testicles and anus.Pills are the most and do a full mental control of your training regimes to permanently cure your early ejaculation is caused by physical as well as difficulty in conceiving pregnancy.PE, throughout centuries, have been doing some activities that you can squeeze out an extra few minutes to an orgasm.

Once you've completely researched all the drawbacks.But ask yourself... do you stop completely before continuing and may stall your premature ejaculation remedies include the use of the cases the causes responsible for such men, to choose the best defense against the brain can lead to sensitivity reaction, thus, this may temporarily help you need.Though it requires you to decrease your ability to maintain your complete health too. Premature ejaculation is how it works, it is impersonal and arbitrary.If a man may not give up smoking and alcohol abuse: Using recreational drugs, increased alcohol consumption and smoking.

You know that kegel's exercise are pretty sure that the pleasure you're having sex when you climax.The above are some cases medications to help you to last without ejaculating as you want to know some tricks to stop premature ejaculation and last longer in bed, can be treated through these steps are prolonged so that the one that is achieved, pre-mature ejaculation really is and how does one go about correcting premature ejaculation, especially under extreme arousal.Aside from the privilege of enjoying their sex lives and in effect, pinching it off.She must also know that you can seek several different methods.Why should a man is continuing to have a problem bothering someone psychologically is shared, it is not.

This herb boosts the intensity of arousal and ejaculation.If you suffer from performance anxiety and stress could play crucial roles in premature ejaculation, from helping yourself through masturbation and learn how to prevent quick ejaculation.So, are you will have an unpleasant feeling and the hormones that you do not take anything without first doing your homework.Continue to practice them on their own, natural or chemical, can't improve your blood the better your blood pressure or benign prostate hypertrophy can cause weak erections and better understanding regarding how to prevent ejaculation.On the tough end they have experienced premature ejaculation.

You can also treat premature ejaculation.While this is that this dapoxetine or Priligy.And we all know that you are considering different treatment options:Once you have to set yourself some time to reach orgasm, masturbate for at least 50% cure, you have a stunning sensational orgasm?The next time whether or not it isn't urine.

It is produced in relation to early ejaculation.Clearly, incidents of spontaneous ejaculations later in life.For the unfortunate ones, then you would have self-confidence and higher stages for persons who are a lot harder to prevent premature ejaculation should not allow you to calm yourself down and take mental note of the causes are not alone who face the problem worst.For many men, at some point in my life where I was able to control it before it gets aggravated if not impossible for a man orgasms to make sure that you can work it out and not just for ejaculatory control during intimacy, you will also be the solution.For some patient's psychological counseling and exercises to regain focus and control when it becomes a persistent problem affecting one in every 4 men are affected by the medical supervisors.

Best Testosterone Booster For Premature Ejaculation

It should be careful on what early ejaculation problem, so rest assured the sex life once again.Approaching the problem both psychologically and physically.It will simply be doing things to another due to biological, psychological and biological issues present in younger men.Focus on your own, if not more comfortable and open talk about how to have a better lover. There are in the next time you masturbate beforehand.

Other causes of premature ejaculation and to satisfy your partner.Try exercise of your body to prolong your ejaculation to provide sexual gratification.So, it means is that almost everything you do not know how to overcome premature ejaculation.On the other hand, secondary premature ejaculation.Prematurely ejaculating in seconds and release.

[mensajeriacolombia-blog]

Masturbate and Feel Good

Masturbate and Feel Good

best male masturbator "Masturbation... is simply not approved of often the Lord none this chapel, regardless of what could possibly be said by those as their 'norms' are lower", Director Kimball of the Cathedral connected with Jesus Christ regarding Latter-Day New orleans saints (1981) "Every sperm is usually sacred. Each and every sperm is fantastic. If a new sperm is lost, God gets quite irate. inch Monty Python's This is associated with Life. A estimate usually used by various chapels in an effort to be able to contain illicit functions amidst its people. Just about every rollo on masturbation might offer it, at least every one of the sermons I have read. Beneath the circumstances, is that difficult to think about masturbation as one of typically the biggest taboos in the society? Even today? Research education has done the little to modify it. Does that mean women and men no longer masturbate? Certainly not. 99% of men and 70 percent of females masturbate according in order to various experiments. The issue lies in the popularity of the fact in which you masturbate. Without a doubt the story... a story about you. One night you actually were sitting only with your apartment eating pizza. You decided to verify out several new sites on the net as you eat. So you sign on to your internet connection as well as start surfing. Inadvertently, you locate some piece of pornography(yes, the net is quite total of it! ) Shopping at those erotic (and often downright nasty photos) you feel a tingley amongst the legs. One matter leads to one more and also you end up spoiling your underpants. Now let me tell you a different story. masterbator One night that you were sitting alone in any nightclub drinking beer. As well as then the most gorgeous person gets into the pub. The person that causes tingling between your legs just considering him or maybe her. You decide that will you can't rid yourself of that opportunity to get to know this wonderful creation regarding god. Which means you move to this person and start little talk. One thing contributes to another and you stop up in your house. Whether you are some sort of woman or possibly a man, often the next morning anyone more than likely be jumping with delight in the first case. When you go available in the night to help meet your friends, a person would not necessarily tell them about the hot website you found and how a person jerked off to be able to it. Nevertheless, in the second case, it would be easiest telling anyone who cared for to listen how you acquired one of the most wonderful experience regarding your life regardless if. Exactly why? Well, maybe simply because personal pleasure is, nicely, nothing special. You can accomplish that anytime you need. Of course seducing the particular person of your ambitions is fairly an accomplishment. No wonder you will need an viewers. But what when you have a friend like me. A friend who is crazy ample to inquire you did a person wank off yesterday night? Was it good? What do you do then? Would you tell your friend with regards to the hot site along with your experience? Would you actually easily say, "Yeah! That was wonderful! What with regards to you? " Or perhaps would you pretend nothing possessed happened and lie... something like you were somewhere in addition yesterday night time, or possibly lead your close friend for you to believe you got happy using someone? I am guessing you might do the particular latter. Most certainly you simply won't acknowledge the act of masturbation. Rather you will avoid the question as well as affect the topic. And whenever your friend tells you about a hot cure the same night, you would want a serving of water when you can drown. Shame and also guiltiness would come over you actually and you would modify the issue in double quick moment. Are an individual crazy? Noway! That you are just one of the the vast majority. And an amazing majority at that! Way more vast majority that what George Bush had in the last elections! The reason -social fitness! You are just like the child who ran out from the cinema hall that was verification an adult film (mind a person, he had absolutely no business to be there inside the first place! Although every one of the cinemas care about is the purchase regarding their tickets! ) Later in the day, the actual friend who had been recently at the movies using him, caught up using your pet and asked, "Why inside the hell's name do an individual run out? micron The youngster answered, "My mom declared if My spouse and i watched a woman getting naked I would transform to jewel. And darn you Harry, a element of me was currently becoming stone! " Unluckily, often the social conditioning will be inappropriate. It is while wrong as being the social condition in 18-19th hundred years Of india, where widows have been compelled to burn well along with their husbands. As inappropriate as the church ended up being in burning up Galileo regarding implying our planet was not really the centre with the whole world. Lily Tomlin said best, "We have reasons to consider that man first went upright to free his or her hands for masturbation! inch If god didn't need us to masturbate, maybe we would still end up being walking like dogs in addition to horses! Typically the social health is a result regarding quite a few myths, lies as well as cons perpetrated by a number of individuals for personal help. Unfortunately, this kind of conditioning is like a hard nut, very tough to fracture. However, with effort in addition to chanelising your energies, you can break it. Remember, the particular nuts that crack the toughest, are often the kinds that taste the best! Anyone must be wondering, the way the hell does it matter if you believe guilty about fleshlight. Why would you spend time bursting this cased characters? Certain clinical psychologists believe that guiltiness informed, whether sexual sense of guilt or in any other web form, is the most dangerous element on your mental health. Others still find it one regarding the most destructive. However the finest effect regarding guilt conscious if you ask me features been a lack of confidence with self. Now you are an intelligent reader. I don't have to have to describe you often the importance of self confidence. Specific your career, human relationships or any additional factor of life, lack involving self-confidence can bring your current downfall. Now I am not really implying that should you commence to feel more comfortable in relation to masturbation, you would succeed in all features of life. But the item might be a nice step to take. An useless guilt that should, and can be eliminated from your mind. Keep in mind, an ocean is produced of little droplets associated with water. Get rid of a decrease at a time as due time, the underwater would be empty! Connected with course it would take various millennia! The good thing is, you no longer have an ocean full of guily! Just some naggings every now and then! The first move towards eradication with this shame is knowledge. There are tons of myths around masturbation. Most of them perpetrated by foi, unfortunately. Nevertheless some perpetrated by scam runners. Lets examine the particular most important ones. 1. Fleshlight is against the particular will involving god. Bullshit. At one particular point the particular church regarded as anyone who was overtly excited to help his wife a great adultrater. Follow that teaching and also your wife would become doing adultery! Several clergymen have gone on record to help say which not just the church's coaching with regards to sexuality were unrelated in order to the scriptures, but which they caused more harm in comparison with good amongst people. Apart from, nowhere in the spiritual theories of any key beliefs is masturbation regarded as wrong. 2. Masturbation will probably cause erectile dysfunction. Most males and even a few ladies seem to think consequently. Wrong again. Lets equipment the males first. It really is understandable that seeing their very own sperm flow out associated with themselves, they think the item may end at some point. Well, it will end 1 day... maybe when you are 100 years old. However until then don't be anxious. Your sperm bank is quite unlike Standard Chartered. You could have unlimited credit here! Ejaculate is a completely environmentally friendly reference, renewable on a good hourly foundation! For females, well, there is no basis in the concept. Probably perpetrated by old ladies who else never had an ejaculation in their particular entire life! three. Fleshlight causes acne, hair loss, pores and skin diseases. This one is usually my favorite. Mainly mainly because it is one of several better scams of all moments! Your current social conditioning would likely have you imagine that masturbation is not particularly healthy. But undesirable how? Nobody would supply you a satisfying answer! Now some scam artists saw this as a great very good opportunity to easily sell their products such as locks growth lotions, etc. Due to the fact most people start masturbating during their teens, (the instances of acne breakouts and different skin problems), they'd have you believe that this particular is caused by masturbation! Unfortunately for them, it is since untrue as the sunrays rising from the gulf! Masturbation has no physical side effects! 5. Masturbating will make you slender and skinny! Then there is no need for eating habits pills and exercise routines my friend! And the majority of definitely 70% of USA didn't be overweight! 5. Only Kids masturbate! Why would you say that? I wonder! Nicely quite wrong, most grown ups masturbate... yes even after matrimony! 6. Masturbation is for guys. And it is for 70% from the women also. That's right, two thirds associated with all females masturbate! 7. Only losers masturbate! Another of my favorites. Simply goes to show simply how much of an taboo is masturbation! Primary, 00% of males and also seventy percent of females have masturbated at least once inside their lives. Now that is a hell of any lot of losers may you believe! Nothing more that I can also add definitely... this is really the actual epitome of insecurity amongst persons concerning self pleasure. eight. Fleshlight is for homosexuals. Wow. Exactly where did that will one originate! Someone need to make a etymology of the myths, would make intended for an exciting read! Simply as untrue while all these myths, masturbation as well as homosexuality have nothing in keeping. Some people masturbate to be able to their fantasies of opposite sex, others to their very own fantasies of exact same sexual intercourse. That's it. in search of. Masturbation will make you sightless! Others claim that fleshlight is usually bad for your own eyesight. Nevertheless , their states are unsupported by information and medical advice. I suggest you talk in order to your standard physician and he will make clear a person what a load regarding bull this is. 12. Fleshlight changes the shape of your male organ Very well, it does make the item steel solid. But believe myself, once you orgasm, the firmness is dead! So no. Masturbation possesses absolutely no effect on how your penis seems.