#its just funny that.... to be considered 'normal' now you have to engage with like at minimum 3 of these

[rpgbabe]

im not trying to be mean/insulted but the fact that u can just... not drink, not do drugs, not wear makeup, not get tattoos.. and there needs to be like some 'reason' why to ppl like... if u dont do that they will be like ooohh so like what's your deal are you like a puritan or? lmao like.... no im literally just...... myself? i was born with this face and this body and this mind and... i never felt any need to alter it?

[funnier-as-a-system]

Hiii. Not sure if this even counts as a question to be fair, nor is this a funny suggestion, but like.

For my final project in college I'm kind of making a game concept about plurality (as a system host myself) and uhm long story short I guess.

I made two characters-alters, one of which is female and the other is male, and the teacher who curates my project was like (super paraphrased) "I'm getting some romantic connotations here and I think we shouldn't show people that you can literally date yourself, cuz that seems super unhealthy" and he then backed down a bit and was like "well it's not really normal so maybe think about that some more".

And so like. The concept I'm making is based on the complicated relationship between me and my co-host. I am heavily basing the characters on me and that co-host, I am heavily using the issues we had in our relationship, to hopefully be able to show people who are new to plurality that you shouldn't treat your alters the way me and my co-host treated each other before, because THAT is what was unhealthy.

All of which is to say, right now I am married to that co-host and I'm very happy about that, but my teacher's words quite hurt me. Like I literally don't even understand what could be so unhealthy about in-system dating. How rare even is that? Is my perception of in-system dating just that skewed, since nearly all our alters are in a relationship with each other? Most importantly, am I faki-

(Also, by saying that, the teacher inadvertently recommended me to make it a gay ship. Lol? I wish I could make one of the characters an enby like me and avoid the issue entirely, but I can't) (My husband The Co-Host said that the teacher is just rude)

There's nothing inherently unhealthy about intrasystem dating. I've found most people who claim it's "unhealthy" actually mean "I find it weird and I can't distinguish between my personal discomfort and something that's actually bad." – a frustrating argument, but one we're familiar with, and one that should largely be ignored unless you're looking to engage in an educational discussion with someone who holds this view. Others claim it is unhealthy because it "encourages division/dissociation between headmates", but this is largely based on the idea that headmates having any sort of personal identity or self-identification gets in the way of achieving final fusion, which has its own flaws as an argument, including final fusion not being the goal or healthiest option for all systems, as well as ignoring that [harmful] dissociation may increase if a headmate does not have any sort of personal identity to distinguish themselves from the rest of their system with. In short, the arguments against intrasystem dating tend to boil down to "I think this is bad for you because it doesn't fit into what I think people should do", which only shows one's own close-mindedness.

Since plurality is an unfamiliar concept to most people, they don't have the experience necessary to distinguish between genuine red flags and something niche that just takes time to get used to the idea of. Intrasystem dating is niche, but it's no more inherently unhealthy than other kinds of niche dating, like t4t partnerships. The same argument has been used against polyamorous relationships for being similarly uncommon and going against what people expect of relationships (particularly romantic ones), but those are not inherently unhealthy either; it goes to show that people will reuse the same arguments against any kind of relationship they do not approve of, rather than taking a step back and considering for themselves if a particular relationship dynamic is inherently unhealthy. While intrasystem dating can be unhealthy, it is not inherently so just due to the relationship dynamic.

When backing down, your teacher said intrasystem dating is "not really normal", and that truly is the crux of this argument. People do not like that which does not fall neatly into their understandings of "normal", and think anything that isn't normal is automatically bad. This is untrue. I would say to hold strong to your original vision for your project, not just for yourself/ves, but because refusing to fall in line and pretend to be "normal" is how we achieve progress. Even if your teacher doesn't change his mind, your work may introduce the concept to someone else, making it less unfamiliar (more familiar) and more normal to them, leading to more people understanding and accepting not just systems in general, but intrasystem dating specifically.

Speaking of, to answer your question, while intrasystem dating is uncommon, I don't believe it's especially rare – I could name several of our headmates right now who are in a polyamorous partnership with each other, as well as a handful of other couples. We've known many other systems who have had some or all headmates dating each other. It's not the most common topic to talk about in the community, but it is certainly a topic frequent enough to be brought up from time to time.

Your teacher was rude and incorrect. I have sympathy for the hurt you feel because of his pluralphobic words, and I hope you're able to feel better about this incident soon. Remember, staying true to yourself will almost always feel better than hiding who you are for the comfort of others, so if you feel safe enough to go for it, push onward and continue your work with all its authenticity and intrasystem dating included. I wish you luck in your game development and your final project!

[theonekrafter]

Love the new chapter! I really love all the dynamics, especially Jiraiya walking in and accidentally ruining his own dynamic with them. I really get the feeling that it never occurred to him that his students could *not* trust him. Like, I don't think it even occurred to him that his students wouldn't already respect him and be vying for his attention like he did in his old team. You mentioned him seeing Seiko as like Orochimaru due to the genius thing, and im just. So curious. Was he doing the immature equivalent thing of trying to one up a kid as an f u to his childhood rival? Does he want Seiko to like/respect him to feel vindicated? That's going to end interestingly. I wonder what it looks like from the outside, that his team watch their backs around him and eye him like he'll do something, and he thinks it's normal. Do they they think it's funny that a Sanin can't get a bunch of kids to like him? Are they concerned that there is no teacher student bonds forming like is traditional and expected? What does it mean in konoha society for a genin student to fundamentally not trust their teacher? For the entire team to stand with them and close ranks with their Sensei on the outside? Idk I feel like people are going to form Opinions about it

LONG WINDED RESPONSE! warning you all now! will contain spoilers related to my characterization of jiraiya!

I really get the feeling that it never occurred to him that his students could not trust him.

jiraiya doesn't really understand what position these kids are coming from, nor does he understand on any deeper level What It Means to be a jonin teacher. or a teacher worthy of trust in general. this isn't me bashing him, i think that while he CAN be a fun and engaging teacher, he doesn't really respect the impact he has on these kids' lives.

with his sensei he already respected him simply because he was the hokage. and, on top of that, hiruzen was an agreeable affable person. he commanded respect easily and his students trusted him not to lead them astray (at least while they were genin). jiraiya has taken this dynamic for granted and believes that to be the default. it is not.

as for the ame orphans, he was ALL THEY HAD. his mercy in choosing to teach them ingratiated them significantly more to him from the get go. this isn't the case for his genin team. his genin team just got some random guy who everyone says is strong, and now they're having to feel him out for if he's a good person and good teacher.

Was he doing the immature equivalent thing of trying to one up a kid as an f u to his childhood rival? Does he want Seiko to like/respect him to feel vindicated? That's going to end interestingly.

for jiraiya, i think what he did was totally normal and fine. yeah she's just a pipsqueak genin, but she's advanced for her age. she can handle a little spar.

in my head, jonin and chunin do use spars as a private space to check on each other, to check each other's loyalties too. shinobi are always more honest with a weapon in hand, the saying goes. so jiraiya just sees this as a opprotunity to privately ask if seiko knows what he and the hokage thinks she knows.

spoiler:

the hokage did not ask jiraiya to figure it out in the way jiraiya did. the hokage just mentioned that he suspected she knew, and that he wanted to know if she did or not. that sort of thing is important to accommodate for considering no one else in kushina's age group is aware of what she is. ill go over this in a later chapter, but there's your answer to if the hokage is trying to scare poor seiko half to death.

What does it mean in konoha society for a genin student to fundamentally not trust their teacher? For the entire team to stand with them and close ranks with their Sensei on the outside? Idk I feel like people are going to form Opinions about it

:)

ty for your ask!!

i love getting asks its like i got a little letter from a friend who lives far away and who's asking after me and my children's health. very very fun. lmk if you have any other ideas or thoughts about the kids! or of the side characters like the ino-shika-cho trio. im excited to write more of them.

[phantomthiefgaige]

What if Chihiro Fushimi Joined SEES (Part 2)

Had to rewatch the P3 ending to amp myself up to do this. Don’t mind the tears…or the river of em flowing through the post. That’s normal. Anyway. This part will be covering some misc stuff like School life, minor changes, and right up to the June full moon operation. With that being said. Lets get into it.

TW//Bullying

“SOTERIA!!!”

Soteria is Chihiro Fushimis persona. The goddess of safety and salvation, deliverance, and preservation from harm…funny that she will exactly USE harm to protect others from it.

While Soteria does learn spells like Tetrakarn and Makarakarn and some defensive increasing skills. That’s not all her Persona can do.

This persona is well known for its high magic stat, but more importantly…she’s the teams nuke button.

Her most upgraded move besides the Agi skill line is the Megi skill line. For those who don’t remember. Megi moves are pure almighty damage, a damage type that can’t be blocked.

Why did I decide to give the terrified nervous wreck a nuke? Cause I thought it would be funny. Don’t worry, it drains her magic fast so you can’t go spamming it. You’re gonna have to actually use her fire skills until much later on when she gets an sp cost reduction skill.

Soteria is best described appearance wise as a graceful looking woman with angelic wings yet in her hands are a giant shield and a crackling hand mixed with agi and megi effects. She’d have some unique patterns on her arms and would have her eyes covered by a flower crown.

Now enough about Chihiros Persona, lets see how this girl is with the rest of the teammates and what she does outside of battle.

Of course she’s still the student council treasurer so she’s in there with Mitsuru from time to time but really, it’s more of a “friendly business partners” relationship rather than a true genuine sisterly friendship for right now.

Now on the other end of things are her dorm-mates. Yukari is often really close with Chihiro. She talks to her quite often about her mangas and how club meetings go while Yukari just listens or at least tries to act engaged at the very least.

Yukari can be a bit protective of her but not often. Just helping at times when she gets too nervous around Akihiko. Other times though, despite Chihiros protests, she throws the girl to the wolves with one particular man to help her overcome her fears. That one man is…

Junpei….is…an interesting case with Chihiro. They both like manga and nerdy things at times so besides the male fear thing, you’d think they’d be the best of friends. Well, kinda. She’s too nervous right now to fully hang out with him and watches from a corner usually. Often wondering how he has so much time to slack on his studies when she’s seen his exam scores. She’d reprimand him if she had the courage to…

Yukari is definitely gonna help this girl slightly tolerate this man if it kills her.

Or at least have her join the “Stupei, Ace Defective” roasting club.

Both options work too.

Chihiro doesn’t have much to talk about with Akihiko. If Junpei was a bit much for her at this level, then a guy who talks about getting stronger and fighting with, to her, not much in common is gonna put her off a bit more…but then again, she seems fine with Hidetoshi so who knows? Maybe they’ll be better friends in the near future.

Insert Makoto Yukis/Door Doors social link here.

What? You thought I was gonna write something for Makoto now? It’s basically going the same as her SL. They’re friends and she likes being around him.

…

…

…

Okay fine, maybe I’m planning something but you’ll have to wait until later in the story. For now. They’re friends. Like…rank 4 at best.

In the overworld, Chihiro can often be seen staring at Bookworms, thinking of going in. Heck maybe even considering asking for a part time job, this girl surrounded by books would think it’s a dream job.

She can also be spotted around the mall, checking out the CD shops or wondering if maybe someday Makoto will take her into Club Escapade…but she’s gotta get her own courage in check so we’ll check in on this subplot later.

At night, there is a rare chance that you won’t be able to use the computer there because Chihiro’s on it.

She’s either gonna be studying or looking at this weird new webcomic. It’s apparently about a boy and his three friends playing a video game? You aren’t sure yet because all you see is a boy kissing his poster goodbye while his friend plays the violin. It’s weird but hey, nobody said she can’t have weird interests.

Now that the current dorm life is out of the way, lets get into the story this time.

A reason Yukari may be a bit protectivr if Chihiro is because she’s been hearing about this currently being bullied by three girls.

It’s really starting to piss her off actually. But she bites her tongue for right now.

Most of May and such plays out as normal but instead of the ghost hunting team being just you, Yukari and Junpei, this girl gets in on it too…she wishes she wasn’t because she didn’t know wether to be afraid of ghosts or Junpei in the dark, or confused by how laughable his missing girl story was.

Nevertheless she joins their investigation with some reluctance…mainly Yukari saying it’ll help her.

For once though when they decide to go to the sketchy alleys of Port Island Station at night, she’s siding with Junpei in possibly wanting to back out.

Dear lord the girl was not only not made for scared, but for seeing Junpei get headbutted by a terrifying guy while being harassed by others.

And then there’s Shinji…

Poor girl just about fainted when she saw him. He’s downright terrifying. He seems nice but the poor gi-oh…she passed out. Poor thing.

When she gets back to the dorm she’s out for the whole night, cuddling with a pillow from fear…yeah Yukari may need to apologize later to her for doing that.

Weirdly enough though, the fact she felt like she “survived” something like that feels a bit relieving in her. Like she CAN do scary stuff and will be braver…eventually. For now though. Fuukas case takes high priority.

Hearing this Fuuka girl was getting bullied by Natsuki was bad enough, learning she could be dead is slightly pissing her off…then she learns Mr. Ekoda hid this information from everyone…someone hold this girl back she’s gonna take her paper fan and jam it down his throat.

Thankfully she heard Mitsuru got to him but she’s still pissed. Who knew this sweetheart could have a tipping point that deep.

It doesn’t make her fear into a hatred thankfully, I mean…seeing Junpei get knocked down at the station made her feel scared sure but like she wanted to help and just felt powerless…maybe that’s why when he heard this girl was being bullied and her missing status was hidden was what caused her to lose her cool for a little.

Come the time to save them, she begs Makoto to please go with him to save Fuuka. She feels like she needs to meet this girl.

He doesn’t care

But she’s in the party with Aki and Junpei.

In retrospect, not a good idea for her but she’s holding back her fear to save this woman.

Authors realization: OH SHIT, I FORGOT HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT NATSUKI!!!!

So with Natsuki she feels, understandably, upset that she would bully this girl and locked her up. Though she does promise she’ll help find Fuuka.

Now back in Tartar Sauce, she’s slightly relieved yet worried to be split from the all guys party. When she finds Makoto though, she’s much calmer. When they find Fuuka though…dear lord this girl is so glad she’s alive.

Then she sees Mitsuru and Yukari are down for the count and hey, she can actually do damage to them…it’s weak damage though. If only there were some persona user who could read enemies weaknesses an- oh Fuuka did it.

The rest of the story here mainly plays out as normal.

Now with Fuuka on the team, how are she and Chihiro gonna get along?

Dear lordy, these two are like sisters. Scared, timid, shy, other similar words can best describe them to a T.

Fuuka looks up to Chihiro as her Senpai while Chihiro looks up to her as someone much smarter than her.

These two have a lot of study sessions together and it’s sort of the opposite of Yukari so far.

Instead of having Chihiro try and work past things asap, she’s more into having her take her time and do things at her own speed.

They even suggest starting a manga/book club too.

Fuuka isn’t fully into Mangas? Well by golly Fuuka will try for her new friends sake

And this is where we end for this part. Sorry it’s a bit sloppy and has so much run offs, it’s unorganized and all over the place. Okay a lot more work is needed but there was a lot to go over and I set my ambitions a bit high. I’ll try and organize things a bit better next time and make things more coherent.

Special thanks to my co-author @maze-of-my-design for the relationships list for this gal and helping with ideas for this series.

Hope you enjoyed reading it y’all.

[itsdeathofabachelor]

Remember the post I made about Jotaro being the same level of fucked up as Kakyoin but in different ways? I think I need to give examples because I have a very distinct thing in my brain I need all of you people to grasp to some extent here.

Jotaro is fucking huge. Ginormous for no reason considering he very likely hadn’t had the time to work out in between beating the shit out of local gang members, dashing and dining, and being a bitch to his mother. But because he hasn’t really been in a setting with a bunch of people with similar physiques as him, he has no idea how to act outside of being ‘cool’. Like, he sees no point in flaunting how he looks so he doesn’t, unlike with someone who, say, worked at their body image for months.

So I am being dead serious when I say Holly didn’t make him a school lunch one time (she had such a bad flu bug she couldn’t get out of bed) Jotaro skips all of his classes, entire day ruined. He goes out to the convenience store, red faced, puffy eyed, and shoves a packet of donuts down his shirt. No one even fucking notices. He eats all of them and cries, it’s so fucking funny.

I should probably mention, Kakyoin is one hundred percent the only one who Jotaro could give less of a shit seeing him do this. So he’s there, gingerly explaining the breeding cycles of salmon and trout in hopes of engaging Jotaro’s autism enough so he doesn’t choke and fucking die around the three donuts he shoved in his mouth.

So, six foot five, bulging muscles, could pop a can of tomatoes open if he put it in between his thighs and squeezed slightly, having a breakdown under a tree somewhere in a national park, defeated. A red haired, twitchy twunk drawing with a stick in the ground saying some shit like, ‘you can tell it’s a type of mammal because of its fin bones, even if it’s exclusively in the water now— please slow down Jojo I really don’t want you to throw up again’.

No, like, he’s a mess all the time but would rather die than be around literally anyone when he has that ‘calm before the storm’ meltdown feeling. So he just sort of shows up at Kakyoin’s doorstep like a stray and lays on his bedroom floor for three hours. Sometimes he falls asleep and Kakyoin uses him as a backrest because he always chooses to be face first directly in front of his Atari and Kakyoin wants to play his games.

Kakyoin’s mother one hundred percent thinks Jotaro is some dangerous delinquent who is going to put her son into a grave, life or death peer pressure situation until she sees Jotaro being dragged out of the house by his ankles with an out of breath Kakyoin carting both their bags under one arm, Jotaro’s coat over one shoulder, and Jotaro’s foot in both his hands. Like, ‘We have a math test. I need good grades. I am not explaining to Miss Holly why you have to retake highschool’.

And Jotaro’s completely limp, like three hundred fucking pounds of pure muscle, wearing a tank top, face down with his hat brim dragging on the floor. He looks fucking dead. He looks like a dead fucking rat. And Kakyoin’s mother no longer has nearly as many worries about Jotaro but also is forever cursed with the knowledge that, even if she were to gossip to her book club about it, they would never believe her.

Also, she’s seen Jotaro cry three separate times on the kitchen floor as Kakyoin makes his grilled cheese in the shapes of dolphins because his favourite cereal changed their packaging or Sadao calls and he’s just losing it in a puddle of tears. He never mentions it again and literally goes back to normal like nothing had happened.

He could beat the shit out of a whole biker gang, spear and set their leader on fire, all stoic and angry and totally badass. Everything falls into place with perfectly timed catchphrases and comebacks, but he’ll still be at Kakyoin’s house, twenty minutes later, face down infront of his Atari. And Kakyoin will use him as a back rest to play his games.

[elbiotipo]

While I do love that the wc can engage people who are normally not that into football, seeing some of the takes these people on tumblr and twitter have is leaving me like 💀. How is a final between France and Argentina boring?? Do the names Messi and Mbappe ring a bell? Why are some woke people under the impression Argentina is some nazi oppressor country that they shouldn't support? It really shows when people know nothing about the sport.

It really sounds... agh, I sound rude if I say yanquis, but it really sounds it comes from some people for whose this is Baby's First World Cup. Because most of those comments are from the kind of people who are like "I don't care about sports, but..." or "I don't go here, but..." and then say whatever. Everybody can watch football and talk about it, that's the joy of it, talking about football without knowing shit about it is our real national sport... but those kind of comments are really... again, Baby's First World Cup, and it seems that they aren't even enjoying it. Meanwhile, we who have been following our Selección for years, and honestly everyone who cares about football, is almost foaming at the mouth with excitement.

Because it has been one hell of a World Cup, and it's gonna be one hell of a final. Objectively. Argentina is the current champion of América, has won against the champions of Europe, and has perhaps one of the best teams on its history, with who is, objectively, the best football player alive, Lionel Messi. France is the defending world champion, one of the strongest if not the strongest team in the whole cup, and has Mbappé, who is considered one of the few rivals to Messi's legacy at his young age. Objectively, it's perhaps one of the most epic finals possible.

If you find that boring, to be completely honest, just stop pretending you care about football and do something else, perhaps this isn't the sport for you.

And the Evil Nazi Argentina against Poor Little France is so funny since, not to get too political here but... France still has actual, literal colonies, and engages in neoimperialism all over Africa. As in, right now. I won't pretend Argentina is not without its own problems (though as always, I dispute the "nazi" claim), but come on. At least try to be coherent.

[davrinassan]

It makes me sad to see that the state of fandoms right now (gestures vaguely at all the fandoms...sigh) puts you off form feeling and sharing your enthusiasm and love for the games and media in general

because i absolutely love seeing you be very happy an enthusiastic about things!

its always a delight to read your opinions on things! no matter though its always so much fun when you share enthusiastically about your current interest and it fills the dash regardless! its so delightful to see it always because simply you are a delightful person!

wahhh thank youuuu T_T.........

i think i'm pretty lucky in that southern reach doesn't.. doesn't have a fandom. like, at all. it has fans, and we're all like navigating the space around each other and sometimes interacting for sure, but it's not a fandom AT ALLLLLL. which i really like. the media itself is so up for interpretation that there's absolutely no way fanon could even form, too, we celebrate this series with our different opinions, that's the beauty of it.

hell, someone on the subreddit made a post saying it feels like magic to them and that the crawlers sermon is a magic spell. i'd never even considered that before! fucking ace, i think, that someone could think about it so differently to me. and i know... tumblr fandom doesn't really like stuff like that, and kind of agrees on one thing together that becomes canon (fanon) and that's that....... it's very interesting.

and i think if i ever get into something big again (kinda scared i'll really like datv actually) i'm just gonna have to be the strongest bitch i have ever been and CURATE to a strong degree....... so please don't nobody i like put terrible things on my dash and engage in the drama because i don't want to have to take you out back and put you out of your misery (unfollow you) but i will... i will..... i gotta . for my sanity

it is kinda funny that you say 'right now' though because i don't think it's ever changed much. a big fandom is a shit fandom no matter what, i think? like i was huge in the dragon age fandom before dai came out, i was an alistair blog.. pretty good times.. i also really liked fenris...... i............ i liked fenders a lot....... i don't really retain that part but i still like alistair and fenris hehe, and the fandom sucked SO BAD especially coming up to dai release that i DROPPED it, i didn't even play dai for YEARS and then i didn't finish it UNTIL JUST BEFORE BG3............... the fandom Killed it for me, lowkey doing it now for datv too, just........ ough. i was also in the supernatural fandom we don't talk about that.

but man i think the art of fandom is finding like. a few people, maximum like 10 people, who are normal but unhinged but ultimately normal, who u can create a tiny pocket with, a mini fandom if you will, that emulates media with no fandom at all.... BASICALLY JUST FRIENDS BEING FRIENDS WHO LIKE THE SAME THING. beautiful in its simplicity.................... that's what i need and want for me......... tried my hand at fandom again with bg3 after years and years out of it and yeah. i am not a fandom person. i am unhinged in the dms with my friends person. and that's ok

I WILL TRY TO STILL BE EXCITED ON THE DASH THOUGH because i am a yapper. which is funny cuz i'm not. idk if you know but i'm semi nonverbal irl, i can go weeks without uttering a single sound, but online i do not shut up. maybe it's a counter. maybe i don't shut up here cuz i can't talk irl. maybe. fascinating, that. someone should study me. in a gay way. anyway

THANK U FOR BEING NICE IDK WHY I RAMBLED SO MUCH???????????????????? my chronic pain doesnt exist rn (i'm lying i'm getting sore which is why i'm shutting up) and my broken finger feels pretty good so typing a lot feels pretty great ... thank u for being nice to meeeeeeeeeeeeee

[holofoiltowercard]

The Journey of The Tarot Haiku

V: The Hierophant - Doing it my way

That title speaks more to the reversed Hierophant, who was actually the star of the show at one time during the process of preparing my manuscript for publication, so I decided to dedicate this post to that funny anecdote, but I also wanted to talk about how it fits into my life in general.

Ever since I was little, I have been doing things differently. My mom once told me, "After two kids, I thought I knew what to expect. You blew that out of the water." After two fairly normal siblings, my family found me somewhat incomprehensible, but because I was really good at drawing, soaked up any English I heard like a sponge and did well in school, it was put down as a case of having a quirky genius on their hands. Looking back, I would not call myself that, and I don't really wish the curse of being considered gifted on any child: it really messes with everyone's expectations, including your own. Whenever I fell short, I was devastated. But I never did stop, because as it turned out, my way of perceiving the world and interacting with it was simply different from other people's, and I followed what my inner compass told me was the right direction. Sometimes it worked out, sometimes it didn't, but live and learn.

I always loved creative projects, and spent over twenty years doodling compulsively, and writing the odd poem here and there. I wanted to write books, and even now when I ask myself, what do you wish you could do with your life, my answer is that I would love to write stories and share them - despite that, for the longest time, writing simply didn't happen, and I actually started earnestly, and in English, in my late twenties. I had my confidence in my storytelling shattered a few times in the course of my life, and because I could draw, everyone was encouraging that, but to me drawing was partly a way to keep my hands busy; the only way I could pay attention at school was drawing in textbooks and notebooks (needless to say my teachers kind of hated that). As I got more comfortable with writing, I stopped drawing as much, and now I rarely do unless I'm asked or I'm engaging with a project where I need to draw - such as this book.

Once I started writing the poems in earnest, I could tell that they had the potential of becoming a book, and I got very excited. It could have been a more standard poetry book that features only text, but I was more ambitious than that. I love a good illustration, so I made illustrations after my own vision, but above all, as soon as I thought of the layout you have to physically turn about to reverse the card in the middle and reveal the poem attached to it, I knew I had to go with that. I only learned in the last stages of preparing my manuscript that what I devised was called "ergodic literature", and felt really glad that I had a proper expression to describe what I had done.

In the layout I was confident; in the process of self-publishing, not so much. I actually consulted the Tarot a lot once I made up my mind to publish. I asked what dates I ought to aim for as the publication date; I asked what I could expect if I published here or there; and as I was preparing the document with Kindle Create, I kept asking the cards if it was going to go well in its current state. I was starting to get reversed cards, and got so frantic I actually went to consult guide books to suss out the meaning better. It was in this state that, for the paperback, I drew a new card, and got The Hierophant reversed. Again, I was already kind of jittery and unfocused, and went to the guidebook... which basically said, "Stop asking others for approval and just trust yourself."

It was hilarious. I laughed heartily, and I submitted.

A day later the paperback version was rejected... because of the upside down text. Turns out Kindle Direct Publishing does not allow that in print, even if it is ergodic literature. The support person I emailed was very kind and apologetic, but there it was: having upside down text in print was unconventional and here it was not allowed. I thought back to The Hierophant reversed, and laughed again at how perfectly it captured the whole situation.

I ended up reformatting the book for paperback, so the ergodic layout disappeared, and each card was featured twice in order to show off the reversed cards under their respective poems. I am a visual thinker, and I also think it's just neater to see the cards actually in reverse position, and being able to ponder the poem and the imagery at the same time. Again, I've never come across a guide book in my studies that showed off the reversed card when discussing its reversed meaning, so I wanted to have it for my book. I guess here is where the upright Hierophant comes in: in the process of capturing the meanings in succinct little poems and attaching illustrations to them, I realized that the book could be used as a practical guide for beginners, and from there on I made a commitment to that. I'm glad that the ebook was allowed to retain its layout, because I really loved it, and this way it does feel more like a volume of poetry and the homage I had meant it to be, and at the same time I'm happy with the paperback and hardcover versions being more accessible, even if the reformatting sort of bloated the page count (bringing it from 113 pages to 190). I sincerely hope that anyone new to Tarot will find it insightful and fun.

Buy the ebook

Buy the paperback

Buy the hardcover

[consequencesofargentdawn]

You've been a thorn in my side for a long, long, long time now CoAD. A few screenshots of some things said in jest won't be enough to bring me down. Your blog has done nothing in the past few months apart from cause a few weak willed members to flee like the rats they are. Even though you've been trying to get into Shewp's head, he is far more resilient than a cretin like you gives him credit for.

The PCU is a -legion- and members are loyal. For every person that has left, more people have joined. CoAD will be too cowardly to post this, but know that the PCU is still growing stronger despite the claims made here. I want you to know that -I- like many others will very much be going down with the ship if you ever did happen to succeed (which you will not). You will never drive us from this server and we won't bow down by choice.

It will only be a matter of time before we find out who you and your editors. We know you have agents within the PCU as well, both old and new - they are being hunted within renewed effort and will be discovered and blacklisted for abetting you. You have had nothing more than a few 'minor' victories CoAD - the war is on going and there is only room for one of us in the future of Argent Dawn.

Hold on, let us get the 'how to deal with an internet tough guy' textbook.

Firstly, how is losing five guilds in four months doing for you? We found it rather funny that even after Grim Gest, Cleft of Shadow and Ardent Pursuit merged with their opposite faction counterpart ( We thought neutral RP was bad! ) These guilds have continued to lose numbers rather than gain them.

More on the PCU census soon actually, keep an eye open sports fans.

The PCU is anything but legion and loyal. Considering a majority of our contributions come from members or ex members disaffected with what is happening. A failed vanity project with its founder now actively trying to pull people off WoW. Guild leaders and officers repeatedly shown to engage in threats of violence and being sex pests. "THREE HUNDRED MEMBERS STRONG" is now barely down to about 30 active members at any major PCU event, the size of a normal guild.

Twenty five failed guilds, of which twenty have gone dead since Perroy fell off the radar last year. Your guild leaders are insulating themselves or outright abandoning ship. Vitsaus nervously stops advertising his guild as PCU in trade chat, all of your elf guilds have imploded spectacularly. Talirei(Azure Dawn), Lunarglade(Eternal Sisterhood) have ran off to make pseudo-PCU guilds with their loyal followers (The Sunspear and House Bemoux respectively). Even the nominal leader of the PCU, Gruggosh has made an insurance guild on the Alliance as the Sword of Triumph.

We fully expect the likes of you (either Coalburnt or a Grim Gang stooge writing this) to go down with the ship in emulation of your primary inspiration. Der Untergang of the PCU is already inescapable at this point and the whole server knows, we're just watching and waiting for the last rants of the PCU 'Endsieg' to whimper out.

So please, do continue showing yourselves to be the biggest clown convention Argent Dawn has ever known, please do continue to bully and harass your own members for non-compliance and ideological impurity. Please do continue to try and fail miserably at identifying 'big bad CoAD' and showing how much we live rent free in your heads. You only show the rest of us what kind of sick and demented people exist inside the PCU, so obsessed with image and control and unable to fathom people enjoying their hobby in a way they dislike.

[blazehedgehog]

Did you ever vote Republican?

I look at the Final Fantasy 16 footage and the quality of the series is so inconsistent and weird that you're going to have to show me a lot more than some linear hallways and a couple flashy boss fights, you know? A game like that could be literally anything at the end of the day, and Square-Enix as a company still seems to be engaged in some of the dumbest, worst, most greedy, most self-destructive business practices.

I mean, jeeze, they sold off Eidos to focus on NFTs and crypto currency like three months before the really, really, REALLY big crash hit (and is still hitting).

They could promise to include a diamond-encrusted back scratcher with that game and I'd still look at it with skepticism.

And there was a comment today by the game's producer about how he doesn't like considering Final Fantasy a "JRPG." Which, if you read the article, it's legitimately reasonable, because he thought the term was used derisively (and sometimes it is).

At the same time, "Don't call Final Fantasy a JRPG" is like the entire problem I've had with this series for a really long time, because it feels like they think they're above the term and they aren't. Final Fantasy basically invented the JRPG, and shirking that is shirking its identity to me.

I used to think the problem was that Final Fantasy stopped being fantasy and started being more science fiction. Or was only fantasy in a roundabout way. Again, you really got the vibe that Final Fantasy felt they were "above" all the plebians doing normal fantasy because they had all these zippers and funny looking swords and perfectly feathered hair.

But now Final Fantasy 16 is hardcore, like, almost Witcher-esque hard western fantasy again and it's still not doing anything for me. To some degree that means the problem is me, because to me Final Fantasy is the narrow window of Final Fantasy 4 through Final Fantasy 7 and no further. But also I look at modern Final Fantasy and it just feels like...

Generic triple-A big budget video game. Sure, I guess they have some crazy monster designs that recall classic Final Fantasies, the action is a little snappier than most western action games, and the characters trend slightly more anime in the proportions, but it's still just a parade of "look at how much money we're spending on looking relevant."

And maybe I'm just crazy and cold-hearted and cynical, but I feel like I'm immune to that and have been for a while.

You're a video game. Show me more than just money spent on a good cinematographer. Show me you can dig your way out of your own stupid business decisions with more than just getting lucky. They're burning the candle at both ends and that WILL catch up with them some day. LEAD the market, don't follow.

There are so many video games, so much EVERYTHING coming out, that I don't feel like I am missing anything important by missing FF16, just as I felt safe missing FF15. I don't hold enough loyalty to the Final Fantasy franchise anymore to feel excited by expensive QTEs. I need to hear the verdict on the final game, first.

[limpfisted]

@hlfcorpse [ I NEED YOU LIKE A CHILD NEEDS A BLANKET, A NIGHT LIGHT, A GHOST STORY BY THE FIRE, A PICTURE BOOK WITH HEROES WHO LOOK JUST LIKE ME, AN IMAGINARY FIEND. / verse: seventeen. ]

Wyll Ravengard, banished son, the Pride of The Gate, a child prodigy, a genius with a blade and with the ladies and gentlemen of the court of proper ages in the ballroom, who scored high marks in all his tests but never quite made his Father proud.... enough of the time----has only ever learned two things in his life that have mattered even an iota in this blasted desert called "the real world."

One. That everything sucks, all the time, forever. It's just really hard. Even if Wyll wasn't half-blind---the world would still look too big, and home too far away. Cooking would be hard even if he knew how to grip the knife right, considering all his studies of law and poetry and history failed to give him anything but a fine palate, fine tastes, and burnt Jerkey and Cheese. And a blade? Forget it. He can barely defend himself with a proper weapon. Not that he hasn't tried fighting everything he can get his hands on.

(A new power courses through him like an electric current in a storm, just as shocking. Such a thrill, such a delight, so scary but so perfect, sculpting Heaven's blessings from Hell's damnation, he'd be dead without Mizora, running into battles testing out his new mettle like this, but he can't stop himself, and if he can't fight at all---he'd rather be dead.)

Two. Demons don't deserve to live. They're evil scum. Monsters, that exist to torment. If Mizora calls him a stinker one more time, he'll end her AND himself with her!

And yet. That is the source of his power. Those are the only people he can share this intimate, perfect, practical secret with.

Part of him knows that to get better and stop sucking at everything, he needs to practice more. He needs to stop relying on his new powers in fights, he needs to train, even at just basic life skills, like his Father always said, two hundred percent harder than he did yesterday, always better, always moving forward, never falling behind.

But another part of him is so lonely sometimes he catches himself trying to engage in conversation with Mizora, of all NOT-people. He's always been... apart from everyone. His Father kept him too busy to make friends, and then Wyll always felt... different, when he wasn't outright impressing people, like he just had more to prove, and more he had to say, to be... cared for.

But he's never felt like... like he doesn't deserve to be looked at, until now. Until his Father---

Needless to say, when you can't look at yourself in the mirror, its hard to talk to other travelers, and far easier to talk to the many demons you stumble across in your travels. (The bastards are crawling all over the place if you know where to look, and they all find Wyll's attempts to kill them "funny" despite the fact that Wyll is a very thick and muscular seventeen, and has already taken down many bandits, in addition to the original twenty-five cultists, where he SAVED Baldur's Gate, thank you very much!)

One such demon recommended this place, outside of Baldur's Gate, far enough away that Wyll felt.... not comfortable, but more comfortable, even looking halfways in its direction. A church, in which he is told he will find everything he needs.

The outside of it is a dusty charcoal black compared to the setting sun outside as he approaches. He's dealt with--or at least, dipped his blade in the arcane, now, but it still makes him scowl to look at it. Who put this demon's nest in such a pretty spot? How can darkness suck in all the light so easily? He doesn't want to go in. (He does. He wants to know who he is, now. He wants to know what this longing to go in means.)

Inside is just as dusty, and as dark. He resists the urge to cough, instead just sniffs and wipes the back of his hand across his nose. Is that a demons scent? Or just the dust of old books? Behind the all-too normal pews, past the statues and strange trinkets, there are bookcases.

...

Is that IT?

Wyll rolls his eyes and mutters curses, shaking his head, folding his arms, every bit the sullen teenager. He's been had. How can he study diligently the way his Father always taught him to, as knowledge is just as much power as strength, as the Good Duke always said----if there is nothing substantial to study? He doesn't even spot the demon he was supposed to look fo---

Oh. That must be him. There's an aura of... slime to him, unbefitting of a priest. He looks like he does sick things to puppies. If not for the darkness, Wyll swears he could see Mizora's reflection in his dark, shiny eyelids. It's not that he's ugly, far from it. But Wyll didn't think Mizora was ugly, either, and demons.... They're known for their seduction techniques. As if Wyll did not promise to his Mother with the full extent of his iron will that he would wait until marriage! He cannot be tempted! Do not try, demon!!!!!

(From an outsider's perspective, Wyll may appear to be standing there, seething, his breath getting heavier and heavier and his face getting meaner and meaner, even more haggard and tired and malnourished than he already looks, especially for a kid so young. But in his head? Wyll believes the battle has just begun. He's just waiting for his chance to strike.)

[mysticstarlightduck]

Happy WBW! <3 Kind of a niiiiche(?) question BUT are there any aspects/quirks of the main culture present in your WIP that any of your main character(s) just can't wrap their heads around? Any customs or habits that they don't really care for or don't make much sense to them? Do they engage in these customs anyways? :) - @liv-is

Thanks for the Ask, @girlfriend-champion!

This is a very interesting question! I guess that this will have many answers, and they can be funny, strange, and sad. In Agrannor - the world where my main WIP, The Last Wrath, takes place - there are many cultures, even within the grand Morosyn Empire and the many kingdoms of the Free Realms. I will answer according to the places where my characters have actually lived.

One of my characters, Darian Caelestis, grew up in the convoluted and complex kingdom of Ergyre (see this post for the main worldbuilding details about it: The Kingdoms of Agrannor - Kingdom of Ergyre, the Iron Thorn). This kingdom has many immoral and extremely evil quirks in its culture, which are considered "normal" by the ruling nobility that indulges in it (especially when it comes to the enslavement of elves). Darian is a very good person and an honorable individual, being the son of a rebel fighter, and he can never wrap his head around how corrupt his entire kingdom can be sometimes, and the things that they do. Darian would never engage in any of said activities, and openly refutes them, fighting against the crooked customs of his people.

On a happy note, Raelen Ashiren is Mageborn, an Agrannorian culture that is very unique from that of the non-magic humans, and she often has trouble understanding the many rituals her ancestors once did. She would like to try them out if she had the chance, to understand her past and her people better, but for now, she just has to stick to what she knows.

On a funny note, Emryc Thorne was born in the Storm Isles of the Lost Archipelago, and even though their culture is very sea-based, Emryc is humorously terrified of the sea and a terrible sailor. It is very funny.

There are many more characters, and I wish I could tell you about them all, but the post would become too long, lol. I hope that this has answered your Ask properly!

[talenlee]

Does Your World Have A Pride Parade?

Pride is a great event for corporations, people who pay artists to produce branding material that enables the transaction of currency for their products that just so happens to also include sick as hell fantastic and speculative art, to put Pride into the universes of their games. It’s been in my mind since Magic: The Gathering, a product line of the Wizards of the Coast corporation, an outcropping of the Hasbro Entity, released the truly sick art of Chandra Nalaar attending her Pride Parade, on her home world of Kaladesh.

And that prompted the immediate thought of: Did Kaladesh have Stonewall?

It’s a silly thought, of course. After all, Australia has Pride parades, in the vein of Mardi Gras, which are exactly what you think they are. We didn’t have Stonewall here and we have Mardi Gras here anyway. Of course, the question of ‘where did Mardi Gras come from’ and ‘who started it’ is uh, well, you might not be surprised to learn that yea, Mardi Gras was a protest. It was a peaceful protest against cops who were unjustly imprisoning then beating and abusing queer people. You know, normal cop stuff. Now cops insist they should be allowed to march in Mardi Gras, because they contribute to its history and have queer cops, which I think is crucially missing the point about their role in the start of the event.

Arseholes.

Anyway it’s not like events in different places that look similar have to be the result of the same events. But —

Hold up.

Here’s where one of the boundaries of my own experience as a person infringe on what I can create. See, I’m from a society that is shaped by attitudes that I think are kind of just bad. That informs the way I write about things like world building, and leads to me writing sentences like this that came up in the first draft and took some time to critically unpack: Celebrations are always the result of something awful.

That’s not necessarily true? It’s just every celebration in my society, every Pride parade is a stubborn refusal to die. Pride was a riot that started in response to police crackdowns. Just as every regulation under capitalism is written in blood – because nothing is being made and maintained to actually consider the best of humans but instead to maximise the value of efficiency of systems for the enabling in capital – every societal celebration I can think of is somehow a byproduct of something sad and tragic. Easter and Christmas, religious ceremonies are themselves only in their position in my community because of their value opposing diversity, asserting the dominance of the cultural hegemony.

That isn’t what things have to be, I don’t imagine.

They don’t have to be.

Right?

It’s just what I’m used to.

That meant I approached this article at first thinking that a Pride parade, in a setting respresented yes, a celebration, but to be Pride, to be a celebration of queer culture, then that queer culture had to have some kind of reason to form, which means that there’s a reason for that queer culture to be formed outside of the general structure of all the rest of what we call culture, and then there needs to be some reason to engage in a big celebration which, in the case of Pride, is a reflection of a retaliation against an attempt to extinguish that culture. Basically, Pride is defiance, and to be defiant, you need some kind of sign of what the defiance is against.

Which is funny in the case of the Magic: The Gathering art showing Nissa and Chandra at a pride parade, because, one, the reason the fans have feelings about that is after the botched handling of the War of the Spark plotline that represented Chandra in a way that feels like it needed a bit more attention from better queer writers. During this time, Wizards’ policy was restated and reinforced that in the context of their universes, there’s no homophobia: that is to say, villain or hero, there’s nobody calling anyone a fag or a dyke, there’s no distrust or legal reason to see queer people as different from nonqueer people. As a policy, this is fine, this is good work because it means the writers don’t have that option to represent oppression and won’t use a children’s card game as a platform to represent that kind of edgy stuff in a way that can be readily mishandled. I don’t mind that policy. The policy problem that follows with that is that then you show us Pride, in universe…

And I am asking: What’s that Pride in response to?

Why is there a parade?

Thing is you want Pride Parades for the same reason you want characters to have access to cups of coffee. Because we signify behaviours with common reference frames; a fantasy version of a Pride Parade is a cool thing to have so you can show characters doing stuff in a Pride way. You don’t need the lines of oppression from our world to replicate Pride.

Why then, do we celebrate?

What can your Pride be a celebration of?

I think one idea, which is still a little bit of a loss, is in memorial of a great person. If a great artist or creative passed away they might have asked a celebration to be done after they died, and then that tradition endured based on how good they are. Maybe even a party that doesn’t have to necessarily connect to the person – a lord or liege who constructed the event to satisfy their own ego, and then were erased from the story of the event because they were found posthumously to be awful and suck, that’s a similar way that kind of event could form.

Another option is celebrating a foundation, an event of endurance? When a community realises they’ve a sudden influx of resources, like the conclusion of some other event? Maybe a rich person celebrates their birthday and the result is a street in the town has a big pile of money to spend based on that rich person’s largesse, and they wind up throwing a party with the results? Then that event gets enough attention that the event takes on a life of its own? Maybe? Is that interesting, is that a story people will relate to?

I don’t know!

You may notice I’m still thinking in terms of loss, or sadness, or things that just generally suck butts. That, I think, is telling you more about me than it tells you about world building. I do think it’s a thing that informs you about how I approach world building problems at least.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[skullzanta]

Im going to be real here: One thing you have missed is not something that is your fault in any way: It isn't just engagement, this is worse. Corporate involvement. It is not simply that engagement is our enemy, it is that it is a tool of our enemy. It is a method of our enemy. And yes, corporations ARE our enemy, why? Because there needs to be a balance BETWEEN Work AND Life, you cannot mix both. And what is every single dumb CEO doing? Mixing them for its own short gains.

CEOs are almost never good people. And no, Im not being classist. Consider the circumstances of which a CEO is likely to grow up in:

Surrounded by Business Talk that has resulted in Successes, so listen to this success as the thing that raises you.

Has Rich Parents who mean struggle is minimized unless artificially enforced, which pins the child to blame on the parent rather than on poor life skills since the parent has a duty to take care of the child.

As a result of a lack of need to, there is likely very low social interaction with anyone not involved with either business or pre-existing family friendships, thus making isolation.

Lack of non-business focused influences, and alot of "Sharks" exist. "Shark" being a term I use for someone who will chase money as ruthlessly and aggressively as a shark to a trail of blood due to greed and low morals.(Note: Not all sharks, only business sharks, Blahaj is bestie)

Complete lack of Perspectives in most cases as most people WILL move into richer neighbhorhoods if given the chance so they can enjoy better living conditions.

Now- Why did I go through all of this seemingly unrelated Stuff? ALL of the problems the internet is facing is for profit.

Bots? Marketing and Quick Bucks(Scams)

Algorithms? Pushes you into cycles of dependency so you become more involved in the place they control

Censorship? Corporations bow to shareholders, who control their company. And Shareholders have had recent trends of being extremists. Either as puritans, Extremist Right Wing or as extremist Liberals(The kind that intentionally force diversity instead of making it natural or fit in properly)

Sponsorships? This speaks for itself almost, but we have not fully commented on the state of them. Sponsorships are symbiotic, and parasitism is a type of symbiosis very common with them. You know how often you skip those sponsor segments as they feel robotic and not the person? Its almost as if corporate meddling is influencing youtubers themselves.

Media Metas? Regardless of however you feel about them: Dream, Mr. Beast, Logan Paul, Pewdiepie, and Corporations have all contributed to metas revolving around content algorithms and permanently changed how everyone defaultedly makes content, its now geared to juice as much benefit as possible, even when it makes the product worse. (Note: Pewdiepie did not contribute as much as the others, but he DID have an influence with the war against T-Series, which ironically boosted competitiveness)

ALL of these things are for profit, ALL of them are caused or influenced by "For Profit" ideas. NONE of these things help us without hurting us as well. Sponsorships are the closest to being mutualistic and STILL cause a temporary degradation of quality like an abyss into hell. The corporates are our enemies, not simply engagement alone. I believe that you need to incorporate(snrk, unintended funny) this because you have spoken a part of the problem out in good detail, but it is a very common issue for us to see problems only as they get bad enough to notice...

Because often we are not communicating enough. Often we are failing to notice basic things because its Normalized. But above all, Its because we're divided. For one reason or another, be it russian sabotoge, corporations, trolls, or whatever is the cause(s) of this, We are being intentionally divided into sects and segments. We are not communicating our different mindsets well. And I KNOW im missing things because the competitiveness angle is something I missed. So let us work together, and make a better internet by actually educating people and hopefully taking action.

Yknow what, Jack's right. At this point I wanna go back to how I used to interact online and just create for the sake of creating Definitely suggest watching the video

[peetiespetals]

Chapter 29, Something Like Home

Mando x FReader, 18+

CW: minor canon-typical violence

Word count: ~5,000

Snippet:

“The water isn’t safe, Mesh’la ,” he called from the shore.

You smiled to hear his voice, arms curving outward to catch the moonlight, and continued your exercise without pause.

Din cleared his throat and tried again.

“ Mesh’la? ”

“I can hear you,” you hummed, twisting your body so your back was to him. “The water is soothing to me.”

Din studied his feet as he considered your answer. They were bare– which was not his usual practice– and sand stuck to the little tuft of hairs on top of his big toes. There were things in the lake, but he wasn’t about to question a woman who felt a planet’s energy like a physical thing. Then again, you hadn’t been here when a monster had interrupted the covert’s last helmet ceremony and eaten half a dozen Mandalorians.

“What are you doing?” he asked. His thumbs itched to loop into his utility belt, but it was sitting in the gunship around the corner, along with his weapons, armor, and armorweave. He idly traced a hole along the outside seam of his base layer pants; it had been a long time since he’d gone out unprotected like this.

“Couldn’t sleep,” you murmured, scooping an arm up to the sky while counterbalancing with the other.

That was hard to believe. You’d trained for hours with the covert every morning and he knew you’d been engaging in your own exercises outside of that. If it wasn’t a surplus of physical energy keeping you awake, then it must be–

“Something on your mind?” he ventured.

Your arms ceased their graceful motions and dropped to your sides. Unfortunately, you were still facing away from him so Din had no way to read your facial expressions.

“ Mesh’la? ”

With a heavy sigh, you began to talk– only you were still facing the opposite way and your words were lost to him. Din grumbled and took a step forward, submerging his feet up to the ankles.

“I can’t hear you,” he complained, turning the microphone sensitivity on his helmet to max.

“Come out here with me,” you called toward shore.

Din grimaced as his ears rang with the amplified power of your voice. He lowered the volume back to normal sensitivity but he wavered on the shore, uncertain.

“The water–” he stammered, wanting to rip you out of it.

“Isn’t safe, I heard you.” You raised your hand, inviting him to step in. “If anything happens, I’ll sacrifice myself like a good little Abantis.”

“That’s not funny.”

With a sigh, he stripped his base layers off and threw them unceremoniously up the beach. Of the two of you, he was now the more naked one. Why he’d even bothered, when the garments were so thin they’d have dried in a matter of minutes, was a mystery, but the water did feel rather good on his naked flesh.

You took his hand and drew him to your side. Din’s heart just about exploded when your head thumped into the cup between his shoulder and chest, fitting perfectly. Your braids were a little worse for wear after the days of training; he knew you’d steal away one morning to wash and rebraid it.

“It’s pretty, isn’t it?”

He followed the jut of your chin to see an enormous moon rising in the distance, its reflection stretched long across the water’s surface. It was no meteor shower on Keeos, but it was pleasing, he supposed. Leave it to you to find something beautiful when you were trapped, nearly against your will, on yet another planet. After all your years of captivity, who could blame you?

“What’s on your mind?” he asked again.

You tucked your chin and raised your free hand to stroke absently at his stomach. Din groaned inwardly. There was nothing left to hide what your touch did to him and Din willed his cock to behave. This was serious .

[6afurah]

On the future

So today ismail's vinyl came in. I'm going to hop over to amcorp on the weekends to see if i can find a good turntable for cheap. I think it'll be a nice gift ( also i kinda want one for myself and im sure he'll let me use it too lol ) The vinyl i got him even comes with a poster i am 100% he'll love it.

But on the topic of his birthday next week,

it's really got me thinking a bunch,

I honestly know he loves me and all that. Without a doubt, in terms of love u know. but i don't know, something feels off, aside from the love thing. could just be me being idk you know paranoid me. Yesterday we discussed about what music we wanna make, and started a playlist for it too.

he's really great, i honestly just feel less alone with this person because we love and want the same things, i've honestly never felt that way about anyone before like that, ive loved other people but i dont think ive really felt what it is im feeling for ismail.

i don't know, maybe it was just the whole marriage thing, He was supposed to marry salma and she's getting engaged, He also met someone else after me, but it didnt work out bcs apparently something something tak sama vision la entah aku pun tak tahu lmfao

I guess it just

annoys me i'm not a girlfriend yet, and even when i am a girlfriend,

why do i get the feeling that this person has no want to marry me at all. He probably doesnt, and i guess it makes sense since we're only on good terms now, 3/4 months

but we've known eachother for a while now, this all doesn't bother me that much to be honest, its just upsetting how my parents don't like him anymore n his parents dont even know i exist

like it all just got thrown out, it feels good writing this down i guess. I dont feel like talking to him about it bcs tbh If he wants to do something about us or make it proper, he has his chance to do so, I'll give him time but honestly, I hate how if someone came along and offered something more concrete that i'd consider it. i love him like on god, dont get me wrong, and tbh i probably wouldnt even budge if someone else wanted me, but i think I just want to be a part of his life again and vice versa, not some weird secret where it's just the two of us.

Whatever, thinking about this just makes me angry.

my birthday happened a few days back, being 22 is not relieving at all. I always feel relief when i get older but now it's just replaced with this weird sense of dread tbh

i missed therapy roday i totally forgot about it. also my left eye hurts and idk why but maybe i need to take a break on the whole eyelash extension thing kejap lololol

if it still feels weird ill get them removed.

i also feel like taking a break from social media, no particular reason, i think its just a thing i feel from time to time.

working at an office i realize, you're just sort of

waiting for stuff to happen most of the time and it gets really boring.

oh i also gained so much weight, like 8 kg idk how i did that but i'm hoping to lose the weight soon. I'm on a calorie deficit right now, but its sort of hard to be consistent since i eat out with people and not eating a normal amount kinda weird people out and i kinda dont wanna weird people out u know???

I wonder when gjie is going to come back to office,

i really suck at scripting radio ads lololol Idk its surprisingly kinda hard to do, and i think its because i dont know how to make something not too formal and not too casual.

I wish my radio station was a little more relaxed. Maybe one day, i'll make my own radio station. Idk its just a funny idea, but it would be cool i think. Just me and myself.

I dont think anyone would listen to it though,

i like to think i'm interesting as a person

but i think i'm not so great nowadays, i'm not as interesting as i thought i was. I also kind of miss my long hair. Its nice having less weight on your hair but , I miss the comfort of long hair, just made me feel protected