itsdeathofabachelor

[itsdeathofabachelor]

Fuck never mind Dexter said ‘just like me. . . 🥺’ that bitch is going to be here for at least two more seasons

[itsdeathofabachelor]

Okay I love Lumen because she’s really squeezing out a side of Dexter not really seen before but also I know for a fact she’s going to fuck up Dexter’s life and his code and literally everything and he won’t kill her until the end of the season. I can feel it in my balls.

[itsdeathofabachelor]

‘I can’t let her be cut up again’ SAYS THE UNFEELING MONSTER AS HE TRIES TO RID HIMSELF OF THE EVIDENCE OF HIS MOTHER BUT LOOKS UPON THE MUGSHOT BEING FED INTO THE PAPER SHREDDER AND LITERALLY TEARS IT OUT WITH WOUNDED SCARED EYES AS IF HES SEEING HER GET CUT INTO BITS AGAIN GOD FUCK NWOLSNF WHAT THE FUCK I HATE THIS SHOW I HATE IT I HAYE IT WHY HAVENT I SEEN ANY EDITS ABOUT THIS FUCJF I CANT TAKE IT ANYMROE

[itsdeathofabachelor]

I love fan art on twitter where it’s Jotaro as a kid and he’s like the size of an ant and full of love and joy and in little suspenders and a stupid knit sweater and then the image right beside it is also Jotaro but like eldritch and so angry looking at the line art singes my eyebrows off a little bit

[itsdeathofabachelor]

I love how the mirage-ghost of Harry is like yelling at Dexter all the time and I’m assuming he’s supposed to represent Dexter’s caution and how torn he is about letting Migel in but also Harry will be like ‘Dexter! You can’t trust him, the code is not something to be preached to anyone, what are you thinking? Do you think— honestly think you can trust anyone? That anyone will really see the monster inside of you and stay your friend— your friend! Not turn you into the police, more like! Really, explain to me what the hell you’re thinking??’ And Dexter’s like ‘😐’ in the middle of a casino

[itsdeathofabachelor]

The real question I have is why Dexter answers his fucking phone. Like, he always gets phone calls at the worst time bruh send them to voicemail you can just not answer your phone. I’m on season three and I have never not seen him answer his damn phone. Dude you are Saran wrapping a kill room

[itsdeathofabachelor]

‘But you’re not catholic’ NOOOOOOOOOO O

[itsdeathofabachelor]

Migel, watching the scotch swirl around in the bottom of his glass: When I had Carlos, I had to give up everything. My privacy. My sleep. My first car— but it was all worth it, trust me. Seeing that big smile on your kid’s face when you come in the door every night after leaving in the morning? Nothing like it.

Dexter, in beige khakis and the fourth ‘family outing’ this week, gripping the meat of his thigh so hard he feels the skin pop under his nails: Yeah uh-huh sure thing

[itsdeathofabachelor]

There’s been a bunch of scenes so far where Dexter is given a pep talk about how he’s a good man/good BPA analyst/would make a good father/etc but like everyone is missing the fact he’s a fucking serial mass murderer. Like Dexter’s looking up at the ceiling like ‘yeah maybe they’re right I am good’ like no no Dexter they don’t know you’re a serial killer. No little guy they’re making a judgement without the full context trust me do NOT have that kid please don’t listen to Debra

[itsdeathofabachelor]

What is with the autism blood pact of only watching YouTubers that are sponsored by GamerSupps

[itsdeathofabachelor]

I love how pretty much all interactions between Rita and Dexter are like

Rita in a silky flower print nightgown, twirling the telephone cord between her fingers: Heyyyy Dexter 😊

Dexter, covered in blood, shaking: Hey you

[itsdeathofabachelor]

Me when I train my adoptive son to do something and he does it

[itsdeathofabachelor]

AND THERES NO BLOOD

On episodes five season two and am at the scene where Dexter has a dream he saves his mom as a superhero vigilante and noticed his brother isn’t in the crate with them 😭

[itsdeathofabachelor]

On episodes five season two and am at the scene where Dexter has a dream he saves his mom as a superhero vigilante and noticed his brother isn’t in the crate with them 😭

[itsdeathofabachelor]

You’re telling me Dexter and his brother sat in two inches of blood for like days in a shipping container and are found by police and then they USE THAT SAME SHIPPING CONTAINER STILL???? FOR BANANAS?????

[itsdeathofabachelor]

Okay update Dexter is lovingly stroking a doll head face on his keychain I literally cannot take this seriously.

[itsdeathofabachelor]

I’m on episode five of Dexter and the comedy of Dexter genuinely tweaking out, crouching with a surgical drill beside these two human traffickers is actually so funny. He’s like ‘Diva how do you experience emotional connection with one another????’ He’s so funny.