#its just frustrating i dont like when people argue with ME and then get mad when i bring up facts and canon evidence

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i need to compile a list of scenes that wouldnt make sense if saiki wasnt telepathically speaking in them because people directly respond to what he "thinks", because its actually starting to piss me off how many people insist that he doesnt talk to his friends at all

[malleusmalifecarum]

Silver is such an awesome character

I always see people mention idia for disability representation -specifically autism- which is great, he’s canonically using an ipad for speech support and its very clear about his strong interests , etc. like as an autistic person in the same age group as him its.. so obvious. However ive always resonated with silver more, i feel like idia gives off more willing antisocial lifestyle, hes pretty sarcastic and comes off as rude (within reason lmao being a nrc student must suck), he doesnt enjoy or actively seek out social experiences unless its related to an interest, e.g harveston event. But with silver i feel like he’s not as willing to be like he is. (Not saying idia is happy with his lifestyle - tbh i dont really know enough about the guy to say)

For example, in his dorm uniform vignette he seeks out help from kalim who is naturally extroverted and friendly to help him communicate his emotions in a way that isnt strange to his classmates. Which is so!!ugh!, like that vignette literally made me tear up.. all my frustrations come from not being able to connect with my classmates or have people know me, how i feel, i know that i cant express my emotions in a way thats normal, or i cant express them at all. Like people portray silver as this cool, pretty, princely guy who everyone happens to have a slight crush on but hes not!! To his classmates hes just the quiet kid whos awkward to talk to and doesnt talk much himself.. as a high masking autistic girl its so real :’) fyi i wouldnt say silver is autistic, he portrays symptoms of narcolepsy- i dont have narcolepsy so i cant say if thats the reason for his social struggles and if its connected but either way the experience is very similar. Silver expresses grief and feels guilty over his condition, it gets in the way of his relationship when all he wants is to be of service to his family, but he just? Can’t! Like the feeling of knowing you CANT do something, not that you dont WANT to you just physically cannot fucking sucks!! And its guilt. Its not your fault, really isnt, but damn it feels like it. Especially when no one understands your condition, so they assume its something you can control, they dont get its a disability for a reason!! My diagnosis was 4 months ago, ive gone through the vast majority of my life being undiagnosed so aswell as general disability rep i also think silver’s really good for the undiagnosed/medical mystery folks; silver himself says many times he doesnt understand his own condition or why he works like that, which makes it soo much harder to explain it to other people because you cant just drop a doctor’s note. Its difficult to get support and have people’s sympathy so they dont become annoyed ( also: if you yourself arent aware the guilt aspect skyrockets. Undiagnosed neurodivergence/disability lifestyle is pretty much screaming why whyw whyw why!!! Am i like this! At god) . Example: his labwear vignette shows professer crewel beating silvers ass with a detention for something he cant control- he fell asleep during class . Silver apologises, gen means it, but crewel doubts the sincerity of his apology because it ‘didnt look like he meant it’ :’) this vignette gen makes me so mad out of empathy?? Tbh crewel didnt pass the vibe check.. like youre teaching teenagers- arguably the worst time for mental health of your life- someone at some point is gonna have a rough night.. even if he doesnt know its a disability (silver’s sleeping spells arent confirmed as such but through the way it affects him id argue that it should be treated as one) you can atleast assume the kids not doing it willingly 😭😭 professor crewel is a perfect example of the type of people that will be a pain in the ass if youre undiagnosed.. like honestly i resonate with silver so much i get second hand frustration.

Like all silver wants is to spend as much time as he wants with lilia, to repay him in the short time silver has (lilia is fae so will live much longer than he) but half that time is taken up by something beyond his comprehension and control!! When lilia has done all in his power to try and help silver but still nothing has worked.. silver doesnt want lilia to spent his life worrying about him 💔💔 hits even harder after lilia revealed hes dying and may in fact die before silver. It makes so much sense that silver would be shattered to the point of crying infront of malleus when everything hes ever wanted to give lilia (love,support, to stop lilia from worrying) is deemed almost impossible by factors he cannot control.

Therefore i dont really want book 7 to end with silver’s sleeping spells being cured- if the root of it is (BOOK 7 SPOILERS!!) from the spell that was put on him as a baby that would send him into a deep sleep until someone who could truly love him awakes him, i assume that after he gets over his complex of judging love by how much you can do for someone (this gets in the way of his relationship with lilia. He thinks that he isnt truly deserving of lilia’s love because he hasnt yet ‘repayed’ him for all lilia’s done for silver.. boy doesnt get the trope of unconditional love 😔), he will finally be content with his relationship with lilia: which concludes with ‘true love’ (familial), his curse will be fully broken. He wont get sleeping spells anymore. Which i suppose is good for silver and the message of love is most powerful which diasomnia has. But i also think it would be most affective if silver just learned to accept his condition and know that it cant get in the way of his family because their love is so strong.( it shouldn’t get in the way anyway,under any circumstance, but silver himself needs to know this 😭😭) Rather than solving the problem straight at the cause, its so much better for silver to heal and accept himself. May be slightly self indulgent aswell lmao because as much as id love to defeat a dragon and have my reward be the cure for neurodivergency id much rather love and accept instead. Like i dont want twst to erase his representation for the plot :’)

Anyway um. Yeah, silver you will always be a diva🫶🫶 -

[borderline-culture-is]

bpd culture is splitting on people on your birthday because they didn't meet your expectations

vent:

holy shit. youre such a fuck up. you can't do anything right. i asked one thing of you. you didn't ruin my day at all whatsoever, I had a great day, its just the fact that you can't even talk to me on my birthday when I ask you to and you treat it like some fucking burden. Like youre "meant to" just leave me alone, id rather you not even talk to me if you're gonna act like that, and I tried to talk to you but when I'm like this nothing you do is enjoyable so I hated every second of it and went to bed in a bad mood. I am honestly glad you silently went to bed mid convo, yeah it was rude as fuck but we didn't have to talk anymore. I thought I'd regret not hearing from you if I chose to pick a fight about it but honestly I just regret trying to talk to you at all. The way you can't even see this is huge to me, either! I just asked you for one thing. Next time just tell me you can't. Better yet, I won't even ask, im sick of trying to be important to you. And don't expect me to hang out on the weekend, im busy, I made plans with people who dont wait hours to try and celebrate with me. I'm not gonna sit around waiting for you to decide you actually want to hang out with me. Im so so tired. And the excuses are bullshit too, you didn't want to do this so you should've just said so instead of letting me get my hopes up. If you couldn't take a day off from work just say that, if you were too tired just say that, if you could only muster up to talk for 30 fucking minutes at the end of the day just fucking say that! But treating me like basic relationship functioning is some type of need you have to fulfill or a task to complete is so fucked up, im not a crazy needy borderline for asking to talk on my birthday im just a regular human fucking being. And I wish you'd stop lying and pretending to be excited about me, honestly my frustration has been building for days and this really takes the cake. And I dont want to get over this because I have a right to be angry at you, you never apologize and people are starting to notice how you always argue when you feel guilty instead of just saying you did something wrong. And stop sending me asks on my alt, I dont want to deal with you right now, I wish you wouldn't have to show up in my life any time I try to do anything when im OBVIOUSLY MAD AT YOU!! because I should be!! That conversation fucking sucked anyways!! 😤😤😤 It was an amazing birthday and im so grateful, for everyone BUT YOU.

-🐳🐇🪻(can i claim that?)

(sure!)

[worldofgoo]

more impromptu personal talk (about my dad)

i really dont know what to do about reconnecting with my dad because i know i should since he hasnt done anything to me (since we dont live together anymore. he was drunk and confusing and angry and like... pathetic? in a way i couldn't deal with when we did) but like. i dont want to. hes sober now and i know we can have interesting conversations (i used to be upset that hes self absorbed but idc about that anymore since i dont feel the need to connect to him emotionally anyway). but. i guess when i think about him its still the unpleasant associations and some are more present than i really give myself credit for

first before he went sober like last year id get invited on these ski trips with him and my brother and theyd both fucking argue the whole time and then get drunk and argue worse. there were also several incidents of drunk venting to me where he tells me how im like the one person he trusts or something and idk hes vented to me since i was like a teenager to me i honestly dont want to hear about how he wants to kill himself i dont know what to do about that. leave me alone

i honestly did kind of see him as somebody who bribed me with like. paying for trips and organizing outings and stuff in order to have me see him (it was well within his means to pay for my student debt when i was in college but he cut me off at the time so he could idk go sailing and build a new patio. fuck you man.) but now since hes decided to be fully selfish and cutting off my brother financially too so he could have like a minimum wage job hes not really willing to pay for or organize anything (though he was weirdly hesitant about it for a while before that too, his weirdness about money is a big reason i dont like him and our relationship was bad). i havent decided if i can really blame him for quitting his well paying job though since its what allowed him to go sober and take care of his health and not work a job that seems stressful and horrible

also... i guess his desire for me to reach out and organize things despite him being the dad also bothers me in some type of like petulant psychological mind games way. like he loves to lie and say he doesnt care about drifting apart and that hes not upset (and that he respects/accepts me. i dont believe him with that either because he lies to himself and then it all comes out at once.) but then he bitches to other people about how he wants me to reach out to him more and eyhyhgghh idk

i think the weird clinginess just makes me too angry and frustrated and kind of nervous (its confusing and ive trusted him in the past before he exploded at me about things that he was mad at me for that i had no idea about)... youre my dad youre a grown man you should have been supporting ME and YOU can try to rebuild OUR relationship why do i have to deal with this? my mom and brother are bafflingly like. forgiving of him so they make me feel like im mean and evil and crazy for having misgivings about him

[asiogie]

You don’t have to answer this but you’re the only person I’ve seen talk about how weird people are being about commenting on Dream’s body and I’ve seen people defending it today and it’s driving me crazy so I’m complaining here lol. It’s just making me so uncomfortable how people are acting rn

im gonna answer this and then just leave the situation alone sorry this got kinda long

i think a lot of people aren't understanding why we're upset and have missed the point entirely. no one is mad at people for saying "i love dreams tummy" "he has a nice tummy" etc

its when you use words like chubby that things start to get a little rocky, chubby/fat etc are not bad words inherently and thats what people are arguing, however you can't ignore that these words often do have negative connotation when used ESPECIALLY to describe other people

i understand the frustration and i understand that fatphobia is a real problem, but i just dont think that that is what is happening here

like i just don't think calling someone chubby without knowing EXACTLY how they feel about that word is a good idea. these words can be very triggering to people and i just don't understand wanting to risk upsetting someone by calling them that. you have no idea if someone has trauma with that word so why risk it?

i am solely talking about being aware of the language you use when describing people's bodies. thats all

[redheadbigshoes]

Can't believe these lesbophobes keep reblogging on that post of yours making fools of themselves. 'labels dont mean anything' okay so can you call yourself black even if you're a white person? can you say you're jewish even though you only go to a christian church?

Like there's this logically false jump from gender identity to other identities that just makes me so frustrated with how they use gender identity as an example when its something completely different from community identities

You can be a boygirlqueer or an androgyne or anything, it doesnt affect anyone else its just your identity you can share it with others like men or women or other nonbinary people but it doesnt interact with other people, but when you go to a community that has something in common like, people of color are all non-white, or people of a religion all actively practice or believe in that religion or in terms of sexuality we are connected in that we are all non-men who love only non-men and the way we share in those struggles and joys and experiences forms our community, it affects other people to violate that boundary.

I just get so mad that people use gender identity as a mask to cloak their lesbophobia and other people who dont understand will just let them say this shit, ugh.

-🌻

They really don’t hear themselves… I bet they wouldn’t agree with the examples you gave because it’s obviously nonsense, it’s literally so stupid to completely ignore words meanings just because you’re childish.

Labels exist to categorize us based on shared experiences and attraction/lack off. Sapphic exists to categorize every woman/nb person attracted to women/nb people, bi exists to categorize people attracted to multiple genders, and lesbian categorizes women and nb people attracted only to women/nb people.

What’s interesting to notice about these people is that they use similar rhetoric as an argument (which always ends up sounding transphobic). “What’s the difference between a pre-T trans man and a woman” ??? They’re literally going back to using “biology” to justify their argument which is literally what transphobes do. And they cannot even try to argue how trans men can identify as lesbians without sounding extremely transphobic.

[tactiletelekonesis]

gonna just ramble my thoughts for a bit

i was talking about how ive been asked to be evaluated for bpd in the past and got told by the doctor that i “dont want that stigma” and shut down before i could decide for myself if its worth it, and the person i was telling this to said they think i dont have it and like.

im kind of mad.

because im still getting to know this person and the more i think on it the more i know i at least have things that mimic the symptoms

and being told “i can tell you dont have it” feels like its diminishing the fact that i worry i do

and dont get me wrong i know the symptoms can be caused by other things but i would still like to know

and like the reason im thinking this is just… dirk strider from homestuck. ive been seeing people say hes textbook DID and i GET IT, i do, but i also really see bpd in him more. and i also see myself in him, though i dont have DID

i see his splinters and lil hal specifically as like. i can see how hal would be an alter, but lets not focus on that. hal is the epitome of a version of dirks self that he gets aggravated with, probably even hates because it reminds him of who he used to be, and to some extent whi he currently is.

if you look at the symptoms of bpd on mayo clinic, i could argue for all of them in dirk - and myself

and like. ive fucked up so many relationships because a flip switches in my head and im convinced they hate me or dont care, and people dont see that BECAUSE I FUCKING HIDE IT

I HID MY AUTISM FROM MYSELF AND OTHERS FOR 19 YEARS. MY PSYCHOSIS FOR 27. whos to say i havent been hiding bpd from people?

i already have dependent personality disorder but if you have one personality disorder youre more likely to have more

the reason people dont believe my struggles is i mask automatically and suffer inside because i dont know how to talk about how im suffering or even explain whats a mask and whats not

i keep going back to the time i was told “youre incapable of being mean” and the visceral reaction of wrongness i felt because i shut myself down so fucking much because the idea of upsetting others is so goddamn terrifying yet until i was 19 i would purposely make lists in my head of actual ways to ruin my friendships of i wanted to. like i would make full lists. just cataloguing all their insecurities so i could weaponize them. i never did because when i admitted to doing this when i felt safe i was told that was a dick move. and theyre right but it still fucking hurt because i dont do it on purpose. i dont.

im currently losing two of my best friends because my brain wont let me fucking talk to them because im simultaneously afraid theyre mad, and mad at them myself, and im sabotaging myself by not talking to them at all

i literally swing from thinking im worthless to thinking im a literal celestial being. i dissociate all the god damn time. im so fucking angry every second of my life

i would go into more detail about other symptoms but im making myself sad.

i dont care about the stigma i want validation for these symptoms and acknowledgement that i am extremely mentally ill at times and i just

i know they meant well but being told im not bpd by a newer friend who im still opening up to is frustrating. youre not my doctor, youre not me. how would you know? my doctor doesnt even know all my experiences because i dont know how to talk about them

im not sure if its the 4am talking or the stress from the roommate situation but like im thinking about bpd again. i think its worth looking into

anyway i cant believe im turning into a dirk kinnie but im not complaining

[walpurgisakjr]

it took me so long to realize that people really invest their identity in some of their views, and its not easy to tell which until youve already hurt their feelings. And sometimes they dont even know when something is personal to them.

Ive had situations where ive had to sit back and breathe slowly for a while because i hadnt realized that something wed been discussing was personal.

on the flip side, for some people, argumentation/debate is how they form opinions or learn things. I have a close friend, who, when she doesnt have a preexisting opinion on something, stakes out a random position and picks a fight with me about it. Then, like 24-48 hrs later she gets back to me with a much more sane and nuanced opinion. maybe she spent too much time on 4chan as a teen, but thats just how she is now.

meanwhile, i have another friend who will doggedly argue the same point over and over again and not understand why people get frustrated with the way he doesnt even acknowledge counterarguments. then, next time we talk about it, hell have changed like, one teensy thing and refuse to acknowledge that you made that point to him the last time. It frustrates the hell out of the first friend. She gets so mad i literally had to bribe her to stop talking with friend 2 on facebook, because it was just really toxic. they can argue face-to-face just fine, but online they both go crazy. I just roll my eyes and take the small victories where I can. I continue being both of their friends because theyre both better arguers than my family (who inevitably go for the eyes at the first opportunity) theyre excellent people aside from the arguing, and because sometimes i genuinely learn something from our arguments.

....plus im pretty good at distracting both of them with their hyperfixations when i need an escape valve.

Basically, if you dont like arguing about silly things, thats fine. Let people who try know that, and if they dont back off, shut down the conversation.

If you dont like arguing about serious things, thats valid and understandable. If someone is trying to pick a fight with you about it, try asking them questions without giving away how you think. its a surprisingly effective deescalation tactic.

feel free to block or leave people when you need to.

If you like arguing about silly things, thats great fun for some people but can be daunting, scary, or just plain irritating for others. Someone who doesnt want to engage with a silly argument is either just going to get hurt or hurt you if you pursue it.

If you like arguing about serious things. some suggestions.

1) write a paper about it.

2) run for office on it.

3) find a politics or philosophy club. (Or just join the IWW)

Do N O T try to force people to engage. You WILL hurt them, and they may hurt you worse in response. It is okay for people not to want to talk with you about something. That doesnt mean they dont care, just that the time, place, method, or audience is wrong, or that they dont want to discuss it with you specifically. This is not a personal attack, they are not rejecting you as a person (rejection sensitive dysphoria sucks, look it up). Just take a deep breath and let it go.

And if you really feel that talking about it is important.

Start asking questions. Genuine ones, not leading or probing ones. Let them dictate the pace. You need to draw them into the conversation, not force it on them. Forcing someone into a rhetorical or conversational corner may make you feel powerful or in control, but it is counterproductive on every other level.

...didnt mean this to turn into a ted talk. I should get back to work haha.

[aahsoka]

i wasn't particularly pressed about it personally but it was such a wild thing to see like. there were 600 arguments going on on a post that was Truly not that deep and some of the takes were awful and some of them were genuinely good and relevant but by the time anyone got around to having something good to say it was because someone had tacked on some insane bullshit. and like idk yeah i personally didn't care but it's such a frustrating phenomenon with large posts in general. and if you'd been making a claim i think it would be responsible to expect or provide citations/a more thorough explanation but "i love bread" is not really a claim that i think needs defending. but of course within two reblogs here on tumblr people will ask if you hate people with epilepsy. because that's a normal and logical step from a two sentence post about carbs.

To be fair to them, they did reply to someone who was talking about disliking the Keto diet. So it was slightly more relevant but I do also still don’t think the leap to not considering epileptics at all is particularly warranted and it might be more productive to have that conversation about how it was originally developed for epileptics. I can see if maybe someone made a popular post that was like ‘i think we should legally ban Keto’ or something ….. like then it would be more important to mention that its used in a medical setting.

Everyone is just ….. having emotional reactions and not thinking out actual arguments or having genuine discussions and I think sometimes we gotta learn when someone is genuinely starting a discussion and when they are just doing something in the heat of the moment, and whether or not the effect is negative enough to warrant a reaction. Personally I struggle with emotional regulation so like I try to avoid things that make me mad or vent that frustration without directly confronting people lmfao. I think it’s worth it to ….. make your own posts, vent to friends, block people liberally etc rather than arguing with what is most often ….. a wall. Considering whether someone’s blog/post is personal or if they are trying to make an actual argument or spreading information etc

And like for example, as far as things that initially seem innocuous but can have negative implications, I do think instances of accidental or unconscious racism is worth being pointed out. And theres certainly a way to go ‘did this person have malicious intent?’ ‘is it worth even talking to them in the first place?’; and while I think effect often outweighs intent when it comes to systemic problems…. its worth your own first reaction (if you are going to interact instead of just blocking) to be polite and informative and if they dont return that energy then you can go. ok fuck you lol .

And yea it’s a worthwhile discussion to talk about keto and its relationship to epilepsy especially because it was taken from a medically prescribed diet that needs to be carefully monitored and mutated into a grifty fad diet to lose weight. As well as a discussion of its actual medical history and effectiveness in treating epilepsy (like I believe it doesn’t always help all patients— which is why it being monitored by doctors is important). But really thats something that needs to be a new post with intent to talk about ….. Keto and epilepsy.

and maybe this person doesnt deserve to be called out on my blog lol but like I try to just vague post abt things that bother me at least . I may delete it lol I always delete things when I get over it. Which is why I dislike replying on posts lol

anyways. thanks for sharing my frustration

I’m gonna enjoy some hainanese chicken and rice now lol

[x-other-souled-x]

Syscourse on this website is so fucking stupid but I can't look away, its entertaining as much as it is frustrating.

Yall are so fucking stupid, anyone can talk shit about anyone, anyone can say whatever they want, talk shit get hit, whatever.

Its not a "boundary" for others to talk freely, if you don't want to associate with people then dont. Block them. Move on. Stop flinging hatred to others.

And anyway someone blocking you isn't you winning an argument.

If you get blocked its more likely it's because you're annoying or a pest or keep saying the same shit over and over and expecting people yo just give up and say "you were right all along, I renounce my personal expereinces to you, oh wise tumblr user who is an expert on everything life has to offer! Woe was I to ever beleive I could possibly have an opinion or life expereince different from anyone else, I had forgotten we all must suffer in exactly the same ways!"

Yall REFUSE to take your safety and health into your OWN HANDS and use the fucking block button and live comfortably in your little circle jerk bubbles and then COMPLAIN about it. Shut the fuck up whiney little kids.

One day when you grow up you're gonna realize none of this fucking matters. You'll get the care you need if you fight for it and it's not fucking endos online or even genuine fakers using up ""resources"" (guys fakers don't go to the doctor, duh, no I'm not arguing that bc even if they do they don't last long OR if they do then they have something ELSE seriously wrong they need treatment for, ppl don't just pay thousands of dollars for FUNSIES omg.)

It's not them, its the prohibitive nature of healthcare systems around the world who don't give a shit about you as far as your wallet goes.

Why don't you focus your fight on the actual target, the ableist and restrictive nature of much of healthcare around the world. What ever happened to mad pride? Why are yall fighting your siblings like this? It's stupid.

Here I'll help you out, go from here, learn a little.

Go outside make friends who aren't entrenched in online discourse and life your fucking life. Touch grass. Choose better battles and stop wasting your time making your PEERS lives miserable for no other reason than you need to feel good about yourself.

We can help each other if we dont just keep tearing each other down for no reason.

No instead yall just bitch and complain and whine and ATTACK OTHERS over stupid shit like wether or not someone can use an anime character's name if they introjected said anime character. Or the mere existence of people different than you. Fucking inane behaviour. Get a better hobby for fucking real.

I stick my head in from time to time because I think it's funny to see a bunch of kids whine about things that they can step away from at any moment. Except it makes me sad to see yall waste your time making dedicated syscourse blogs and other dumb bullshit youre wasting your time on. You're not changing minds, you're fighting for grains of rice on the dirt floor.

And yes actually you CAN step away from the internet at any moment and do something else with your life. Even if you're chronically bedridden, read a book, write a story, draw a picture, watch some movies, play with dolls, whatever, just take a fucking break.

I'm turning off reblogs and blocking anyone who screenshots this to argue**. Seriously, get a better hobby. Live your damn life. The opinion of a STRANGER ONLINE shouldn't make you shake and get so heated that you can't think of anything else. L

You WOULD feed the trolls and you do.

(**with one exception, if you want to agrue about the prohibitive costs of health care and provide resources that dont cost thousands, because it would actually help people)

[flwrkae]

COOK YOUR WAY INTO THEIR HEARTS!

summary: Mariana, a young girl coming from a famed family of cooks isn't as blessed with the skills of the knife compared to her kin. Frustrated as she also loves food and cooking as much as them, she decides to go on a journey to learn how to cook from her family members.

warnings: none! just a 'lil breakdown but all good :] not proof read

notes: hii, so this is set in spain and im filipino who knows 0 abt spain so plz forgive me if there is wrong things, its all google translated and i wrote this 4 school a while back so dont judge kakaka, just for fun and want an outlet for my works to share to the world

The sun is just beginning to rise along the shores of Cadaques. Located in the heart of the small town is a family restaurant called “Flor de Iluvia” meaning rain flower. Even this early in the morning, many people are lining up outside waiting for a chance to have a seat. It hasn’t even opened but a long queue has formed outside the door and it caused quite a noise. Many people know that Flor de Iluvia is a busy restaurant and is always filled any time of the time but the food is just too good, you just keep coming back.

Since it's a family-owned restaurant, the family members will be the cooks and the ones running it. Tio Carlos is known for his good looks along with his Hummus, Tia Valentina with her sweet character with her rich Spanish hot chocolate that will surely provide you comfort in the rainy season, Papa Hernando with his simple yet intense Patatas Bravas that's a favorite among the dad’s and tio’s since its best paired with beer, Mama Camila with her homey Huevos Rancheros, The cousin pair: Gabriela and Antonio with their specialty of albondigas that everyone of all ages enjoys, Abuela Romana and the crowd's favorite, her Paella that started it all, and many more talented chefs under the Rodriguez surname.

And there is Mariana, the girl whose specialty is cleaning. It is clear she is the odd one out of the family since she wasn’t gifted the special skills the rest of her kin have when it comes to cooking so she makes up for it with her cleaning and decorating skills. 

The winter season is beginning and the temperature starts dropping. Even if you are greeted by the warm sun, the air will just make you feel weird. This is what Mariana feels every day, she already has much on her plate with the worry that she will never get the chance to cook with her family members do her school work, and do other things. She wakes up around 5 AM which is still relatively early for her, to hear that the kitchen is already filled and operating due to the loud voices of her family members nearly screaming at each other. She groans and lazily gets up from bed trying to fight away the urge to fall asleep. She gets up, puts on her slippers, and heads out of her room to check what's downstairs. She sees that several people are waiting outside even if the temperature is like 9 degrees and turns her head to the kitchen to see her papa and Tio arguing.

“Ay Dios Mio Hernando! Have you seen the people waiting outside for the restaurant to open and get their orders while you push back the opening time just because you had a hangover?” Tio Carlos shouts at Papa Hernando, “I’m sorry hermano but have you forgotten that I’m the manager of this place, can’t you see you are just pushing the opening time more because you just keep blaming me and you should start cooking” He retorted. The argument got cut off when Gabriela asked her dad, Tio Carlos to just not mind Papa Hernando and to start working on the orders. 

Mariana walked up to the counter of the kitchen and asked what's going on and Camila, her cousin, responded that Papa Hernando went out drinking last night and woke up late with a headache so Tio Carlos got mad at him, and boom that happened. Mariana just laughed since it was a funny situation, to begin with, and she had this thought in her head, what if she asked Camila if she can help out because they are in a situation but Camila said “I know that look in your face Mariana, you want to help out don’t you” and Mariana just nodded in response then Camila followed “As much as we appreciate your help, we need to rush things and can’t afford any failures but next time, when you become a better cook”. After hearing that, she just sighed in defeat, laughed it off then headed to her room.

She went up the stairs frantically and shut the door to her room as soon as she arrived. She was bothered by the comment that Camila made but decided to brush it off and got ready to go to school. She showered, put on her uniform, went down to grab something to eat on the way, and waved goodbye. On her way to school, she was still bothered by the comment and overthinked it the whole day. The comment kept her thinking, what did Camila mean by “can’t afford any failures” and kept thinking if she was referring to herself as the failure. It affected her all day and dampened her mood which caused her to keep on sighing and acting all dramatic. 

After a long day of school, she arrived home and when she opened the door with a smile on her face, it instantly turned to a frown when she saw Camila. She was reminded again about the conversation this morning and ran to her room. She dropped her bag and changed into her house clothes in a hurry since she felt this sudden surge of emotion and started breaking down. She felt like a disappointment and a failure like what Camila said, why couldn’t she be like her family members? She kept beating herself up and she turned to her side and saw herself in the mirror. Mariana thought to herself that she looks funny and shouldn’t be crying over something so simple. It still pained her but she knew she had to do something about her problem instead of crying about it. She got on her phone and started scrolling through recipes on how to make simple meals and tips on cooking. She took note of this and was determined to prove her family wrong.

It’s a Saturday today and Mariana woke up to her eyes being puffy from last night. She was in a good mood because she told herself that today is the start of her epic journey of learning how to cook. She went down after brushing her teeth to see that they were just preparing breakfast. Flor de Iluvia opens later than usual on Saturdays and Sundays so the Rodriguez family could have some family time. 

Mariana's mom, Mama Gabriela looked at Mariana and ran over to her, while cupping her face she said in worry “Mija, why are your eyes so puffy? Did anything happen last night?” and Mariana just held on to her mother's hand and reassured her it was for a simple reason “But in fact mama, you can help me with my problem! Can you teach me how to cook?” Mama Gabriela had a smile on her face and hugged her daughter “Of course I can, anything for you! Tonight I will teach you so come sit first and eat!”. After Mama Gabriela said that, she sat down and started eating with her family. 

The day went on pretty well because if you may have guessed it, Mariana was looking forward to cooking with her Mama. Mama Camila is known for her soft and endearing nature that will always make you feel at peace and Mariana was blessed to have such a mother who was like that and who cooks like heaven was brought to your mouth. She was pretty much excited because the last time she tried cooking, she burnt an egg. All she did for the afternoon was lounge around her room and go room to room to bother her relatives.

“Mariana, Get out of my room! You know I’m doing something important!” Antonio, her cousin said as he threw pillows at her. “What do you mean important? It’s clear you were playing again” Mariana said as she leaned against the doorframe while crossing her arms. She then entered the room and lay down on his bed. “Boy, I’m so bored right now, the fun only happens tonight” Mariana complains and Antonio turns around quickly and raises an eyebrow “What do you mean fun only happens tonight???? WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE” He screams while he stands up, “Relax Antonio, I don’t mean those things, My mom will teach me how to cook tonight! And I’m just so excited that anything else is not that exciting” Mariana explains. Antonio just pushes Mariana out and then shuts the door in front of her “Rude much” Mariana says.

The day continued without a pause and Mariana was bored out of her mind so when evening came, she decided to go out for a walk since the restaurant became busier and people started pouring in. The cold breeze hit her hair and danced along with it. Mariana shivers as she feels the wind while she stares out at the ocean. She closed her eyes and found peace with the sound of ocean waves and had this impulsive feeling. She ran to the shore of the ocean and pulled her pants a little above her shins and let the waves hit her feet. It was quite peaceful and slow-paced compared to the busy and noisy atmosphere she was used to. She remained in this motionless state for a while then sat down. Staring at the moon got her thinking what if she was as talented as her family members but she worked hard for it. She imagined all the praise she got when she opens her restaurant in the future and she makes a fist promising to herself that she will make that happen. 

Closing time arrives and she rushes back to the restaurant. “Where have you been all night Mariana? We were worried sick about you!” Mama Camila exclaims while rushing to Mariana. “Ma, I was just out and nothing happened so don’t worry” She reassures her mother then Mama Camila pulls her by the hand gently to the kitchen, “Tonight, I’m going to teach you how to make my special Huevos Rancheros!” Mama Camila says then she starts getting the ingredients and things that will be used. “Mariana, can you start prepping or chopping what needs to be done so we can finish up early” Her mother ordered so Mariana got to work and started crushing the tomatoes and chopping the onions. After chopping up and prepping, Mama Camila is teaching her how to make the salsa, “U saute the onions in olive oil in medium heat then when its translucent, you add the tomatoes that you crushed and add the green chilies” Mama Camila instructed then Mariana followed but she added too much green chilies and accidentally burned them, “You can add any additional seasoning but don’t add too much as it might overpower the dish” Mama Camila reminded but Mariana decided to add her twist to it and added too much of spice chili powder. 

Now the salsa is done and Mama Camila had this trick of warming the plate so she popped it in the oven just a little while that was heating. Mariana started preparing the tortillas and put them in a pan with oil to heat and while waiting, she started frying the eggs and forgot about the tortillas and they burned! While she was frying the eggs, she suddenly smelt something burning and asked her mother “Mama, do you smell anything burning?” Mama Camila panicked and said "Mariana the eggs!" then hurryingly went to the stove and turned off the heat. Mariana just stood there as the scene unfolded and took a mental note to herself to always be mindful of everything.

"Mija, go up and wash up. I'll finish things here" Mama Camila said so Mariana followed what her mother said and went up. Mariana didn't feel that sad about it because she at least got a chance to cook and learned something from her mom. She decided that when everyone is asleep, she will practice cooking the dish again.

That time of the night came and Mariana came out of her room quietly and tiptoed her way to the kitchen. Good thing she remembered the recipe and followed it without adding too much of something or anything that she only likes. It was finished and it tasted bad. It was burned and mild to her but she didn't lose hope and started again. This process was repeated many times until she got it to the taste that was okay but not really up to the restaurant's standards. She got tired and cleaned up then headed back to her room. 

Days turned into weeks and Mariana spent most of her time helping in the restaurant with her usual cleaning and decorating but at night when everyone was asleep, she would try recreating the recipe that her mom taught her. It was one night when she was caught cooking by Tia Valentina. Tia Valentina laughed when she heard the reason why Mariana kept sneaking out of her room at night and why there was lots of noise coming from the kitchen. "I honestly thought there was a ghost in the kitchen but glad it was you! Anyways, I can help you with this journey of yours! I can help you make my simple hot chocolate" Tia Valentina offered and Mariana replied quickly with a nod. 

Mariana was excited to learn to make something again and she was thrilled since it was something fairly easy. Tia Valentina offered to do it together since it would be easy to mimic the actions and Mariana agreed. They first used a saucepan, heated to medium heat, and poured the milk and cornstarch. Mariana was a little behind because she had a hard time understanding the medium heat but got it when Tia Valentina put the stove on medium heat. Tia Valentina got a whisk and handed it to Mariana and told her to whisk it until it starts to boil. In a matter of a few minutes, it started to boil and Tia Valentina took it out quickly but Mariana was confused and let it boil a bit until she took it out. They added chocolate and stir until it was fully melted. After they finished putting the chocolate and mixing it, they put it back on the stove and turned down the heat then stirred it constantly. They were done with the drink and Mariana was happy when it was finished.

They just added the finishing touches like whipped cream and drizzled caramel on top. Mariana was happy and started drinking right away. Tia Valentina just chuckled and drank along with Mariana. "I didn't know you had a knack for cooking, I wish I had taught you earlier," Tia Valentina remarked Mariana was happy hearing it but deep down she didn't want to tell Tia that her drink tasted a bit weird and knew that she let the milk boil some more. "Thank you Tia Valentia for teaching me!" Mariana said and Tia Valentina responded "No worries, I know that yours taste a bit weird so I hope next time, you follow instructions" And then she left.

Mariana kept making this drink every time she had guests over or if she wanted a rich drink. Every time she made it, she kept thinking something was lacking and wasn't satisfied with it. Time has passed and Mariana has never failed to come to the kitchen every night to practice her skills in cooking. She wanted to improve them drastically so she decided to ask Tio Carlos, a famous chef who has his dishes, on a special menu in the restaurant.

It was an afternoon when Mariana came home from school and saw Tio Carlos in the restaurant. "Tio Carlos! Are you back from your trip?" Mariana said while setting her bag down. "Hello Mariana, it's been a long time! You surely are big now. I just arrived earlier" Tio Carlos replied while entertaining some diners. "I also have a question or a request to make," Mariana asked and Tio Carlos hummed in response, "Would it be okay if you could teach me one of your recipes" Mariana continued and Tio Carlos agreed and told her to come to the kitchen at night.

Mariana was excited to learn from Tio Carlos and was down all afternoon to night helping around in the restaurant. When evening came, Mariana rushed to the kitchen and found there were still people cleaning up so she decided to help around to kill time.

It was around 9 PM when Mariana saw Tio Carlos. "Hello, Tio! I'm so excited to learn from you!" Mariana exclaimed and Tio Carlos chuckled "Calm down Mari, tonight we are going to let loose so don't be so uptight. I'm going to just teach you simple recipes". Mariana and Tio Carlos enjoyed themselves with the cooking because even if Tio Carlos was strict, Mariana got to pick up lots of tips. In the end, Mariana made his famous Hummus and was disappointed when it wasn't up to his standard and was just told to keep on practicing then left.

Mariana stood there for a few minutes then tears started dripping from her eyes. She didn't realize it but his words stuck to him and realized that she won't be like her family and felt anger building up in her. She threw all the things on the counter and made a mess. "Why am I a disappointment?" A plate fell, "How come I can't be like them?" Another thing went flying to the ground, "WHY AM I SO UNLUCKY AND ALWAYS LEFT OUT" and with that, she fell to her knees and cried. She kept it the whole time and invalidated her feelings thinking it was natural. All the pressure, sadness, and jealousy started crashing down. She remained on the floor for a while and kept repeating "What am I doing wrong" for a few minutes until she stopped and realized something. She shouldn't copy, mimic and be like her family members.

She had this realization that she kept on messing up because her taste isn't like her family members and kept on copying them and their recipes but added her touch that messed up the dish. She should be her person and chef and apply the skills she learned to create a dish that reflected her personality and matched her taste pallet.

She got herself together and cleaned up the mess she made, the broken plate and glass shards, wrappings on the floor, or spills made. She then sat down and started thinking about things that she would like in her dish like a dish that reminds you of home, something to be comforted by, a little spicy and easy to cook. Mariana came up with Spicy Spanish Prawns which was perfect for her because of the seafood that is often served since they live by the sea and the spicyness. 

Mariana scrambled around the kitchen getting her ingredients like prawns, paprika, chili flakes, lemon juice, and more. She got a flying pan and placed it over low heat, she then added olive oil, garlic, chili flakes, and paprika. She let it sit for a couple of minutes so she decided to prep the prawns, she got a paper towel and dried the prawns then seasoned them lightly with salt and pepper. She turned the heat up and when it started to shimmer, she placed the prawns and tossed it around until it became opaque. After tossing and cooking it around, she turned off the heat and poured the lemon juice and sherry then stirred it. As a final touch, she added parsley and tasted it immediately. She felt proud of herself for once because she made it to her liking. All the flavors exploded in her mouth and savored them. She finished half of the dish and saved it for her family to taste the next day. 

Morning came and she woke up early with a smile on her face and couldn’t stop thinking about last night. She went down the stairs and found most of her family members just talking about their plans for the holidays so she took this as an opportunity to serve her food. She took them out of the fridge and just heated them. When it was finished, she was scared of what they would say and disappointment, complaints, and disgust filled her head. As she walked to the table where they were sitting, she felt like she was walking to her death as a chef and part of the Rodriguez family. 

“Oh Mija, what is this?” Abuela Romana asked and motioned her to sit down, “It’s just something I made after many sessions of teaching myself how to cook so I want you guys to try it” Mariana answered and she felt her heart beating as each one grabbed a spoonful and placed it in their mouth. “Oh wow! Did you make this? It’s pretty good” remarked Tio Carlos and many people nodded in agreement. Abuela Romana was the one who Mariana was worried about because her response is a make-and-break in her career as a chef but all her worries were eased when she said it was good enough and made a hint that she could start cooking and helping out in the kitchen. “It’s a good dish if we take into account that you’re just new to cooking so I look forward to seeing more of your dishes put on the table”. Mariana felt happy and jumped inside, she hugged her mom and thanked everyone who helped her.

It was an afternoon in Flor de Iluvia and the front of the restaurant was a bit empty because a certain girl isn’t cleaning and entertaining diners anymore. Mariana had found a spot in the kitchen as someone who fries and handles seafood. As she is cooking, she remembers all the hard times and jealousy she experienced but her hard work paid off. She certainly cooked her way into everyone's hearts.

[rek1s-headband]

hi could i request something? basically just HCS about langa and reki when you guy get into a fight or sum idk LMFAOO, you dont have to do this if you dont want to tho <3

➯ A/N: Thank you for the request! I hope you enjoy. I added a few characters, hope you don’t mind:)

➯ When you guys get into a fight

➯ Characters: Langa Hasegawa, Reki Kyan, Kaoru Sakurashiki, Kojiro Nanjou, Hiromi Higa and Miya Chinen x gn reader

➯ Warnings: angst if you squint, fluff

Langa:

Ok the majority of your fights are generally because of a miscommunication. If things aren’t spelled out for the poor boy, he’ll be completely oblivious to what’s bothering you

When you finally snap, he always seems shocked, asking why you hadn’t said anything sooner, even if you’d been trying to hint at it all week

Not really one to shout, but if things get heated enough he might snap. He always feels awful afterwards though. No matter what, he really believes no one should be screamed at because of something as silly as a disagreement

Rarely storms out, he’s always going to try and stay until the end to try and get something, anything out of you that he can use to try and understand your point of view

Understands space. He knows when you dont feel like talking to him, and he will give you that time to collect your thoughts. When you’re ready to speak again, he’s all ears

Gets overwhelmed really easy. It doesnt really show in what he says, but when you raise your voice his brain goes to putty and he can feel his breath get narrow. He’s not scared, he just doesn’t want to be the reason you’re feeling like this.

Never lets you go to bed angry. He’ll give you your space, but if you’re still quiet by bedtime he’s making sure you’ve eaten and you’re not still really upset by whatever played out that day

Overthinks a lot. How long did he not realise you were upset? What if its actually a much bigger deal than you’re letting on? What if you leave? Of course, he knows a lot of it is completely irrational, but it still lingers in the back of his mind, so you can imagine how relieved he is when the fight is over and you’re back in his arms

Asks people for advice a lot. Reki and Cherry are usual helpers, giving Langa their opinions on the matter without going into too much detail. The rest is up to him.

Gives the best hugs and comfort after a fight. He understands couples can fight, and never really takes the aggression let out by the pair of you too seriously. Rubbing the back of your head and holding you close to his chest, he’ll reassure you that he’s not going anywhere, that he’s not going to leave “just because of a silly fight” while you fight back tears on his shoulder.

Reki

Unlike Langa, Reki is a very open person in terms of his feelings, so your fights are rarely because of closed away emotions. However, many are caused by you feeling he is spending too much time in his workshop, overworking himself and not spending as much time with you as he should.

As for Reki, he gets mad when he feels you’re being closed off from him, not telling him things and hiding your true emotions. It’s not that he doesnt trust you, he just doesnt want you shouldering anything by yourself, and tries to make things easier for you by halving the problem.

A very emotional person, and this really shows when the two of you argue. There’s a lot of tears, a lot of raised voices, yknow those exhausted laughs when you’re tired of arguing with someone? Those. He pulls at his hair a lot in frustration too

Both of you need to walk away from each other a lot during arguments. You’re both driven by your emotions, so its hard to think logically once you’ve both gotten really upset.

The type to sit outside a door after an argument if you’ve locked yourself in a room, pressing against it and quietly talking to you, regardless of whether or not he gets a response

Understands space, to a certain extent. He’ll try and talk to you after an argument, try anything to get you to just answer him, to come out from your room, to stop ignoring him. He knows when you really don’t want to face him though, which is when he’ll go out for a while, either to Langa’s for advice, or just for a quiet skate.

Despite how upset he gets in the moment, he gets over it quickly. Once he’s out of his head and seeing properly, he’ll take some time to think it over and see things from your point of view. He’ll come back to you with an apology, and when you’re ready to talk, he’ll discuss things with you this time around instead of fighting

If the fight lasts overnight, he refuses to let you take the couch. If he feels a fight will last, he’ll glue himself to the couch, making it impossible for you to sleep anywhere other than your bed. No matter what the fight was about, he refuses to have you sleep uncomfortably.

Tends to cry after making up. It’s rarely out of sadness, of course, more relief than anything. He’s just happy to have you back in his arms, no longer ignoring him.

Cherry

A very rational person, fights are very rare between the pair of you. When you do fight, it tends to be because you feel he’s being closed off from you, not being as open and emotional with you. As for him, he doesnt like when you act too aloof about things that are actually serious to him

Fights start out quiet, talking in normal tones and using your heads. However, as the fight goes on, your voices gradually get higher and louder, arms thrown in the air as you get in each other’s faces.

He snaps quite a bit. Petty remarks, snappy replies and other unnecessary comments are thrown out without much thought as he gets more pissed off. Not necessarily because he doesn’t have anything to defend himself, but because once he’s started, he’ll do just about anything to piss you off

Depending on the fight, it could last an hour or a week. Both of you are so petty that you’ll refuse to apologise to the other, forgetting who was even in the wrong in the first place

Honestly, whoever goes to sleep first gets the bed, he’s not as considerate as Reki. However, as the fight goes on, the pair of you will stay up for ungodly hours into the night, trying to outlast the other because they dont want them sleeping on the couch. You’ll never admit that though, which is why you wont just fall asleep on the couch first. Besides, if you happen to fall asleep on the couch before Kaoru goes to bed, he’ll carry you upstairs and sleep on the couch himself. He’ll never admit that though, he’ll simply say you woke up and went upstairs in a hazy half-sleep, which is why you dont remember.

He’s definitely programmed Carla to apologise to you for him at least once, rolling her into the room you’re in before quickly walking out to the sound of “Y/N, I-am-very-sorry-and-I-was-wrong-please-forgive-me” in Carlas robotic voice

If you ever go to Joe’s restaurant to cool down, he’ll make a big fuss, swaying and sighing, dramatically shouting about “however will these lovers reconcile!?” Once his act is over though, he’ll comfort you and give you your favourite meal, tutting over the pair of you and thinking of ways to help you make up

Literally won’t let you go of you for at least a week after you fight. This mf is hanging off you, constant forehead kisses, the whole deal. He’s gone without your affection for a long time while you fought, he’s simply making up for lost time

Joe

You get really pissed at him when he flirts with other girls. He doesn’t mean to, he’s just a bit of a girl magnet and it’s his nature to entertain them. Of course, he all yours, but he forgets sometimes that jealousy is actually a thing

Doesnt take arguments as seriously as he probably should. He’s the type to tell you to “calm down” in the worst possible moment, its usually what makes you explode, actually.

Absolutely dense. The type to listen to you shout for five minutes, and only then have the audacity to ask you just what your problem was

It’s not his fault, bless him. He’s just a little unobservant when it comes to your emotions. When he realises you’re actually upset though, he’s apologising profusely and promising to never do it again

His apologies are always so genuine, you generally forgive him. However, if he does something that really pisses you off and you dont forgive him, he’ll give you space to think

Fights are usually resolved within a day. Like Langa, he refuses to let you go to bed angry

Cooks for you every meal regardless of whether or not you eat it. He’ll leave meals outside your door as a sort of truce, quietly pressing against the door and asking you to please come eat with him, that he hates the idea of you holed up in there all alone

Like Kaoru, he tends to reply with snarky remarks that have little to do with the argument, but they have a little less bite to them. More petty, if anything

Another big reason for why fights never last long is because this man literally. Will. Not. Survive. Without. You. You’ll be trying to ignore him while he comes in every five minutes, asking you how to get a certain channel on the TV, or stupid things you know he’s only asking because he misses talking to you

After you make up, he literally wont even look at another girl for at least a week. Mf will literally turn his head the other way if a girl comes near him, shouting about how he’s spoken for

Shadow

The biggest hothead. He says a lot of things he doesn’t mean in the moment, which will cause you to storm out and he’ll immediately regret it

The fight almost immediately escalates past hushed voices, swear words thrown around as you get in each other’s faces

He’ll get really upset, but he’ll mask it with being pissed off and angry, clashing pots around and acting like a literal baby. He doesnt want to admit it, but he always feels awful right after a fight. He knows youll need a bit of space after the intense shouting, so he’ll give you that space before even attempting an apology

Aggressively cares for you. Like he’ll say things like “I made food, it’ll taste like shit if you leave it, so I suggest you have it now” or “nope, I want the couch, I’m gonna watch something” he’ll never admit it, he just wants to make sure you’re alright even while fighting

If the two of you go to S while fighting, it’ll be very obvious. Usually you’re attached at the hip, but now you couldn’t be further apart. However, he’s still looking out for you, keeping an eye on you to make sure you’re alright. If you’re ever getting hit on by some creep, the fight is forgotten and he’s back at your side, daring the stranger to come any closer to you.

Reki is always the first to notice, poking him and pushing you over to him, trying to get the two of you to make up. Surprisingly, it actually does help clear the air

He can never stay mad at you for long though, he’s completely soft for you

Makes you bouquets to try and apologise. He’s taught you a lot about the meanings of flowers, so he’ll specifically pick ones with hidden meanings like “I’m sorry” or “I love you”

Not very good with verbal apologies. He knows when they’re needed though, and they are usually delivered through a series of grumbles and sad expressions. The thought is there though

Gives very gentle, long hugs after you make up. He’ll hold you close, suggesting a date or a movie to help the two of you relax

Miya

Literally the biggest bitch out of the six to fight with. He’s so petty, he will refuse to admit he’s wrong for the longest time. Once he’s in, there’s no accepting he’s not right

At least for a while anyway. He’ll start to feel bad once he sees just how upset you’re getting, frustrated with his inability to see anyone’s point of view but his own

King of the silent treatment. He’ll hide away behind his switch, drowning out his guilty thoughts with the white noise of animal crossing

He’ll skate to take his mind off things, practicing new tricks until he’s exhausted

Makes really snide remarks that have absolutely nothing to do with the argument. The type to bring up shit that happened 4 months ago just to help his case

Reki is usually the one to make him see sense, telling him just how petty he’s being, and that he cant get so defensive when he’s in the wrong. He knows this, obviously, he just can’t help it sometimes.

Although he’s not one for real apologies, he’ll slowly begin to stop ignoring you, bringing you small snacks or sending you funny things he saw on his phone. He’ll sit beside you, acting as if it was completely unintentional, but will slowly inch closer and closer until he’s curled up at your side, mumbling about how he wasn’t completely right after all

Will literally hit anyone who tries to comment on how the pair of you have made up, talking about how “its not even that big of a deal, just shut up”

Ad*m

Yall fought cause y’know. He’s ad*m

Sat outside your house with a speaker and an ugly ass sign. It started raining and his sign got ruined and his makeup ran

You broke up with him and he cried

Slipped in the rain while leaving <3

[ateezivy]

Yaaaaay conversation hour! What's Ivy like when she argues with each of the boys and what's it usually about?

oh this is a good one !! olivia is one stubborn woman ! she will stand her ground. even if she realizes she's wrong. no she's not.

hongjoong, it's usually music involved. usually its like hongjoong keeps making her sing the same line over and over again and she gets so frustrated by it that it starts an argument. she always pulls the "if you want it done that way you do it then" and then everyone else sits the like 🧍‍♀️ because if the intervene someone yells at them.

seonghwa and ivy dont argue a lot, if they do it's usually because he's telling ivy something she doesn't want to hear. for instance before ivy and mingi got together he was pushing her to talk to him about it, and it got to a blowing point. you'll see that later tho ;)

yunho, usually over dance. when they get together they're an unstoppable duo, until they get o the specifics of a dance. yunho will usually tell ivy she's doing a move wrong, ivy tells him to stfu because she right and he's wrong. usually neither of them are right or both of them are and its a mix of both moves. so

yeosang and ivy also hardly ever argue. the last time they argued was over a board game, and it ended with them having to hold hands all day (hongjoongs idea)

san and ivy also don't argue too much, but it happens every now and then. ivy actually gets emotional when her and san argue because he raises his voice and is just terrifying when he's mad. and because of her ✨trauma✨ she cries when people raise their voices and then san usually feels horrible.

mingi. oh gosh. i mean they surely fight like a married couple sometimes. she also gets kind of emotional when they argue because, it's just sad when you argue with someone you love so much. their longest fight lasted 3 days. and that will be written about soon enough. but mingi (to me) seems like a guy that stand his ground and doesn't really just let things go. both of their number one goals is to make things better, not worse. and they always grow after each fight, but it's always so hard to watch.

wooyoung, if you don't know already, woo and livvy used to HATE each other. no one really knows why, other than the fact that wooyoung thought having a girl in the group would ruin them. and hell, maybe that's the only reason. so when they argued back then, ivy kind of turned into a raging bitch (her words, not mine. except they are) she did not care. of course neither of them would ever go too far, but sometimes they said too much. and now when they argue, they both get emotional because they're scared they'll go back to their old ways. (if you want more on this topic lmk yall)

jongho and ivy try not to argue, jongho is one of the guys ivy goes to when she is arguing with someone. so he's there to protect her really. but sometimes, he gets a little too overprotective, and it pisses ivy offfff. she always reminds him that she isn't a little fragile girl. and jongho usually feels bad but he reminds her that he always wants to keep her safe.

[innocencelives]

frustrated with having friendships. i feel inept socially, even though im remembering several therapists arguing that point with me, they insisted i was charming and good at socializing? maybe at the end of the day im just sensitive. rejective sensitive dysphoria or something, when im mad at someone i feel like i have no objective view on whether im validated or not. i feel like both could be truth that im being wronged, or that im just crazy. both have precedent, abuse made me very bad at noticing when im wronged and made it hard for me to get mad about it. but i also feel it made me see see red flags when they werent there, or maybe im seeing red flags as green flags for the same reason! i have been toxic in the past I believe, i have also suffered from others toxicity. part of my toxicity was not letting go, and i also reacted to others toxcity by not letting go of them when i should have. its like. i feel like i cant trust myself? but why: i cant trust myself bc my family convinced me to deny my abuse so i still deny reality. so maybe i should trust myself more when i think people are mean to me. but what if there not mean im just sensitive. i just feel like i dont have a good grasp on whats really happening

[aliensunflower-fics]

In Defense of Salt AND Sugar: Aka ML Fandom pls chill out.

So I don’t talk much as those who follow me will say I tend to just stick to myself and my own things. HOWEVER, Ive gotten a lot of asks about why I write both Salt and Sugar for Miraculous Ladybug.

The short answer: Both salt and sugar are valid, fun, intriguing things to read and write and the point of writing is to entertain and be entertained.

The long answer: Salt isn’t inherently someone hating on your fav show and sugar isn't someone necessarily giving it a free pass either. Ya’ll are just dramatic as hell.

The LONGER answer:

I write salt because I LIKE Miraculous Ladybug, BUT the show has not lived up to its potential AT ALL. The show could be so much better and the characters are so flawed or full of holes that occasionally I feel FRUSTRATED and mad!

I hate that Alya a character who I was so excited about, gets shafted ignored, sidelined, or written like a jerk! She could have been this great detective working alongside her friend to unmask the villain, but instead she often comes across as pushy, obsessed with Ladynoir or Adrinette, and so damn easily tricked. Not to mention how when shes not gushing over her ‘ships’ shes pushed to the side and ignored. [or you know... LILA]

I hate that Marinette’s crush makes her do things that are so cringy and awkward i feel ill I hate that she’s constantly the only one making mistakes and ‘learning lessons’ when the show has all these other great characters that could use the spotlight and be the ones learning lessons. I hate that she’s so jealous and that she cant ever seem to catch a break as if the show is punishing her constantly.

I HATE that Adrien is a mary sue, how the writers say hes perfect and treat him as such, I hate that he gets to guilt Marinette into fixing everything and dealing with bullies, I wanted a funny, Ron Stoppable, naive boy who learns about real friendships and grows into a great partner. Instead he gets to be pushy and downright a jerk as Chat Noir ignoring his responsibilities, guilting Ladybug with his feelings, never taking no as an answer. He’s not a good role model for kids.

I hate that Chloe got built up to have a redemption arc several times only for the writers to decide that Chloe a teenage girl who needs some serious therapy [and actual reasonable punishment for her actions] is worse than Gabriel child abuse Agreste. She could have been a great lesson on compassion and growth and dealing with your own pain without hurting others. Instead the writers wrote her off completely.

And dont get me started on how the show treats Nino, Kagami, Luka and the rest of the cast. They may as well be a backdrop for the forced love square that we NEVER get a break from. Seriously I’m a sucker for romance but does it need to be EVERY damn episode?! Can’t we just get some wholesome friendship between everyone including Adrien and Marinette at this point like COME ON.

And i’m not even touching on the white washing, awful lessons on responsibility and forgiveness, awful lessons on well so much other stuff really, the guilt trips, the teacher, the fact that she show could be used to teach kids how to better handle negative emotions and the importance of open communication and not keeping quiet about injustice and/or your feelings but instead decided that the main priority should be a love square that gets force fed to us EVERY SINGLE EPISODE.

My point is the show has FLAWS. That doesn’t mean its the worse show ever and it doesn’t mean its not fun, and has a great premise and characters, and so when I write Salt I write it because i’m frustrated! Im frustrated with the show, with the characters, with the writing and so I vent that out with salt I write those characters as their worst selves because I cant stand how the show has decided to treat them and Im ANGRY and disappointed.

It feels good to write salt and to read it. It’s nice to see characters get called out for bad behavior, its nice to read about Adrien not getting the girl. Its nice to occasionally indulge in salt because it validates that the show is flawed and lets you get out that frustration.

BUT ON THE FLIP SIDE

Miraculous Ladybug is a lovely show. It’s a show that decided to give little girls a FEMALE HERO. And not just as a side kick or background character! No they made her the protagonist! Its so important to me that little girls see good well rounded female characters in media.

And even if the show is clumsy about it they are TRYING to build an expansive lore that tickles the theorist brain. And gets people invested in the world.

The show also made Marinette shy, and awkward, and clumsy something a lot of girls deal with during puberty as growing up can literally make you clumsier as your body adjusts. Having a character who tries to be positive and tries to find solutions who solves things with creativity instead of pure violence. Thats LOVELY for young girls to see.

Growing up I loved and admired Kim Possible, and probably would have loved Marinette, even if the shows not perfect I can admit its trying and I can see why people love it as much as they do! And why they write these fluffy sugary fics its the reason I WRITE fluffy sugary things.

Because even though I am frustrated and angry and disappointed with the show, I still see Alya’s potential and how great she is as representation to little girls who want a black female superhero so I write fluff where Alya’s loyalty, compassion, cleverness and her pursuit of justice are center stage.

I see how Adrien could be better and I want him to be better and I WANT him to be the naive funny comic relief the Ron Stoppable to Marinette’s Kim Possible. I want Adrien to grow and learn and spit in his dad’s face I want him to overcome the abuse and be happy. To show people that neglect and abuse doesn’t mean you will get stuck like that forever, that you can overcome that and be a better kinder person.

I want Nino and Kagami, and Luka and Chloe and the class to grow and get attention and have funny moments I want to laugh and make other people laugh! So I write prompts focused around comedy and shenanigans and where the characters get to be fun and silly and make decisions for themselves!

SO IN CONCLUSION:

I write salt AND sugar. I see the value and merit in both sides of the coin, and I respect how other people see the show. I know its easy to get angry with other people in the fandom who see the show differently then you do but please can we put down the weapons and just BREATHE.

Someone who writes salt might LOVE the same show as you, and they might in fact love it so much that they vent their frustrations in angst and salt and cracky fics. Let them vent about how they wish the show was better, leave their tags alone or block them if you cant stand to see it. But dont attack salt writers for ‘hating on your show’ when they might love it just as much as you do but want a way to vent out their feelings.

On the flip someone who writes sugar might NOT be forgiving the show for its flaws, they might see all the same flaws as you but decide to take that frustration and write fluff and fix it fics and sugar because they want to indulge in a version of their favorite show where everything is just... OK. Where everyone is well written and happy and the character development sticks. Stay out of their tags let them have their sugar, they aren't writing it to hurt you just like you don't write salt to hurt them.

So ENOUGH. Enough hunting each other down, enough sending each other hate, enough filling each others tags. Let people write SALT if they feel angry and vengeful and disappointment, let them have their tags, let them explore the dark side of the characters, let them rant and rave and be HURT when the characters they love upset them with their actions. Its not your place to tell them to stop, to tell them their feelings are invalid, to tell them that ‘adrien is sweet sunshine boy how dare you’ or ‘alya would never’ or ‘i hate your marinette leaves dupont au’. Just leave it be, heed the tags, and let it go.

AND ENOUGH. Enough hunting each other down, enough sending each other hate, enough filling each other tags. Let people write SUGAR if they just want something to feel happy about. Let them makes coffee shop au’s, let them make fix it fics where everything is just happy without needing 8 pages of backstory for why everything is just happy. Let them squeal and gush and talk about the ship they like and the fluff they see. Its not your place to argue with them that the show is flawed, its not cool to ruin their fun by accusing them of not understanding the flaws, to tell them ‘umm actual this character shouldn’t get to be happy’ or ‘wow this is so shallow’. Just leave it be, heed the tags, and let it go.

PS: Now with that said and done. I do have one final message for everyone - If you write/enjoy pedophilia, if you sexualize KIDS. Then get the fuck out of fandom spaces, stop fucking following me, and do everyone salt and sugar a favor by LEAVING. Your pedophilia and child sexualization aint wanted, aint ok, and I will fight you.

PSS: IF YOU HATE WHAT IVE SAID ABOUT SUGAR AND SALT FINE OK I RESPECT YOU REGARDLESS. ENJOY THE SHOW, STAY CLASSY, DONT HURT PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT OPINION.

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

ML Lies Episode Predictions:

There’s Two?? (don’t trust my math) more days before lies completely destroys me, so I’m going to make some predictions, and by predictions I mean wishlist. My walls are already up, so if none of these happen I won’t be disappointed, but also a girl can dream: (this is somehow 1700 entire words long because I have a lot of feelings, so it’s under a cut, you’re welcome)

—Adrien and Kagami’s are secretly dating: please I want it so bad, I’ve talked about this so much and emotionally I need it!! At the very least I want them to sneak out together so so bad I’d cry. But also, if they’re hiding it from their other friends for whatever reason, thats SUCH good angst potential.

—If we get to see some kinda montage of them sneaking out??? Id ride that high for months. Even just one actual example of them working together to sneak out would obliterate me. Like, how it shows Kagami sneaking out to go to the game in Ikari Gozen?? I’d cry

—The breakup happens as a direct result of it being a secret relationship: this would be SUCH a good parallel to lukanette. Lukanette broke up because Luka wanted Marinette to be more open with him and he hated being in the dark, so just, the parallels if Adrien wants to be more open about adrimi and Kagami is like “you dont understand, if your dad finds out about us he will end this immediately” but Adrien wants to believe that its going to be okay and no one will react badly? I’m probably explaining this badly and I’ll try to explain it better later I just,,, want parallels and opposites and truth v lies and hhhhh

—Fencing??? Friendly/ affectionate competition??? Them being idiot jocks in love??? Please??? I want to see them compete!!

—I’d love to see Kagami character growth + Adrimi relationship development!!! I want her to love herself more and be more comfortable around him!!!

—Specifically, if there was a parallel to Riposte,, and Adrien beat Kagami in a fencing match and Kagami was like “Oh nice!! :D good game!” I’d be so happy I’d cry!! And it’s kinda implied by Chat Blanc that they’re already there in there relationship?? But not confirmed?? So if I saw it or saw confirmation of it I’d cry!!

—in one of the released photos it looked like they were holding hands??? And at this point my expectations are so low I don’t even trust it yet but blease,,, let them hold hands,, i’d cry of joy

—If Adrien is also constantly leaving and disappearing due to akuma responsibilities, I want it to read SUPER differently from the Lukanette because I love parallels/foils!! Marinette disappears on her dates with Luka and its just “oh marinette is really distracted and busy and frazzled” but I dont think Adrimi but be loke that at all!!! Because as far as Kagami knows, she has the same backstory/current story as Adrien. She’s risking a lot by sneaking out to go on dates with him?? So Adrien seeing an akuma and being like “oh sorry father is calling” isnt even suspicious or anything??? Its 100% believable!!! If her mother called she’d immediately be like “oh fricking heck i Need To Leave this instant immediately.” So its less “Adrien doesnt care about her” and more of just twisting the knife and reminding her that life doesnt want them to be together and Adrien is never going to be free!!! Big ouch to her heart!!!

—also I want!!!! Them!!! To talk about their feelings!!! Because parallels to truth!!! Adrien is like “sorry I have to go” and Kagami is like “oh I hate that so much” and Adrien is like “big same.” (Also idk how realistic this is but I’d love it if ‘Kagami talking about her feelings’ wasn’t the cause of strife in their relationship!! Like, she talks about how she feels and when she’s upset and Adrien is like “yeah me too” and they’re just,, good bros)

—I need them to stay friends after the breakup, i need it i need it i need it!!! And the whole issue is!! I feel like the main reason they’d date is to try and hang out more?!?? So if the breakup was actually them talking to each other and being like “hey so this isnt working with sneaking out, we’re going to need to go back to the way it was before,” rather than them saying they were bad for each other???? Hoo boy i’d lose my mind

—Also!!! My favorite prediction, I’d die of joy if this happened (and also of angst). I want there to be so much drama with “secret relatinship” stuff that they try to fix it by going public with their relationship!! Very low chance of this actually happening but its okay if it doesnt, thats what the fanfiction I’m inevitably going to write immediately after watching the episode is for!!! But anyway,, multiple ways this could happen.

Maybe they’ve been secretly dating since Miracle Queen and they decide to go public at the beginning of this episode and that’s the primary source of plot/conflcit!!! I’d be thrilled!!!

BUT!!! if the episode ends with then Not Breaking Up, but instead deciding to go from dating secretly to dating publicly???? Holy Freaking Heck,,, I’d go feral with emotion!!!! I also need to expand on this so much more but basic rundown of how I imagine it could happen (again: Is it likely?? Probably not! but this is my last chance to dream):

Kagami is like “listen we have the same backstory and I KNOW in my soul that this relationship wouldn’t work if it was public”

Adrien is like “okay yeah I feel you, thats fair”

Kagami goes on dates with Adrien and its fun and nice and lovely and the honeymoon phase is so good and exciting

Adrien starts disappearing a lot, partly because of akuma attacks, but partly because of nathalie and gabe calling him constantly

Adrien starts to be like “well actually i think that my dad does care about me probably? And if he knew why I wanted to go he’d let me! Or at least Nathalie would because clearly she cares about me!”

Kagami is like “hhhnngg have you met them?? You think they’d want you to be happy and free??” Except she can’t just SAY that because if she did then she’d be crushing Adrien’s entire heart and possibly also making him get really defensive and he has to come to the conclusion that his parents are good on his own

Kagami also starts to get frustrated with how much more often Adrien has to leave than she does?? And its because of akuma attacks but she doesnt know that and he cant tell her

Adrien starts to get frustrated because he can take the “having to leave for akuma attacks” part but when he finally finishes an akuma battle and Natalie immediately calls him it is just aaaaaAAAAAAAA and he just wants to believe so badly that he could at least take control of that part??? He could at least get Nathalie to help him out??? Probably maybe right???

Because we all know he HATES having to keep secrets from Ladybug, but he’ll do it for her, and he’ll keep his life as Chat a secret, but Kagami??? He should at least be able to talk about that, right?? He’s not doing anything bad/dangerous/etc

Also there could very well be some angst with Adrien being so so worried about Nathalie because she’s bedridden and his dad is being sketchy and he’s SEEN this before and he doesn’t want to be avoiding Natalie or lying to her because what if he loses her too??? He’d feel so guilty! And he needs the support of a parent figure so much,,, so he HAS to tell her the truth

But he respects Kagami’s wishes and he’s not going to betray her trust

But unlike Lukanette, they DO talk about their feelings and they disagree and stuff, and even if he’s trying not to be confrontational, Kagami is like “i can tell youre uncomfortable about something, please just tell me what it is” so he tells her that he disagrees

Kagami gets akumatized?? idk if it’s even been confirmed that she’s the akuma “Lies” but I’d assume she is because parallels to Lukanette

Maybe it happens as a direct result of some moment where Kagami and Adrien are arguing and in the heat of the moment he says something hurtful??

Maybe they’re arguing and then Adrien has to leave before it can resolve and Kagami is mad about it even though shes trying not to be and she gets akumatized???

Maybe she does say something like “bc your dad sucks and nathalie sucks!” and he yells or something (i want to see Adrien yell and be flawed let me live, and this is one of the most likely scenerios for it to happen bc it would HURT for him)

Maybe Kagami shoots back with anger, maybe Adrien’s been calm but Kagami gets mean for a moment, but regardless, Kagami says something about her true feelings of anger at nathalie/gabe/ etc and before Adrien can respond he’s like “oh shoot sorry I need to get home NOW”

Then for one brief second Kagami’s TERRIFIED that he’s going to tell nathalie about this in his anger and then nathalie’s going to be like “oh kagami is clearly bad for you because she made u this upset” and Adrien will LISTEN because hes stupid and he still listens to his horrible adult figures and Kagami is so mad about the entire situation so then in her moment of weakness she gets akumatized

Look at that its a direct opposite of Lukanette because Luka was afraid of Marinette keeping secrets about why she’s always vanishing because he doesnt know and Kagami is afraid of Adrien telling secrets about why HEs always vanishing bc she thinks she does know,,

But anyway, after she gets de-akumatized, she’s so ashamed of it and she can see how far she took it and how many people it hurt,, and Adrien is really sad and apologetic and trying to support her,, and she’s like “no clearly I was actually wrong, keeping this a secret is hurting you and its hurting me and now its hurting random civilians”

So she tells Adrien that they should tell people about it and stop dating in secret

And then multiple possible ending:

Does he say “actually no, youre right, they wouldnt let this happen, so if we cant date in public and dating in secret is hurting us then we shouldnt date at all” and thats how the breakup goes??? That would literally obliterate me

Does the episode end on a false positive where Adrien hasnt told them yet and he is like “yeah this is gonna be great” and there isnt an actual breakup yet?? Because that would also kill me (even though i doubt theyre going to let adrimi take up that much time in the show but, let me dream)

Also if Adrien is like “we shouldnt tell my parents but we should tell someone” and then they tell Marinette and now shes got ANOTHER secret to keep and aaaaaaaAAAAA?? Id die on the spot

I’m still holding out hope that the episode will give me enough crumbs to at least be able to write this better, but regardless of what happens in the episode,,, the chances of me eventually writing fanfiction exploring this are SO HIGH, I’ve been thinking about this for ages

In conclusion:

—no matter what happens in lies, its going to destroy me

—please let them be in a secret relationship it makes so much sense for their characters and for the drama and aaaaAAAAA

—also please give me the parallels to lukanette where their issues are exactly the opposite and it still falls apart

Thank you for your time, I’ll be excitedly vibrating at the speed of sound for the next two days until we get answers!! Depending on how the episode goes, I’ll either be writing so much adrimi fluff to recover,, so much adrimi angst to vent,, or I’ll be staring at the ceiling screaming for a few days as I post nothing but keysmashes and try to sort through my emotions :)