#its just crazy like it was all rome. it was the romans. it was always the romans

[handweavers]

zionists claiming arabs destroyed the temple vs antisemitic christians claiming jewish people killed jesus when both things were done by the roman empire lol

[eeveebitches]

balcony. || Roman Roy

Pairing: Roman Roy x F!Reader

Summary: You're Roman's sad assistant, Roman is your comforting boss. There's something unspoken, too.

Word count: 1.685

The harsh autumn wind bites at the skin exposed by your party dress, leaving goosebumps in its wake. It's times like these where you curse yourself for your 'the jacket ruins the outfit' mentality. Sure, the moment you wanna go home you can step into a cozy Uber. But this jacket-less lifestyle doesn't support emotional breakdowns on balconies.

You're not sure why you feel the way you do. Maybe it's just life-- too much and too little, constant scratching and clawing just to get out of bed. Or maybe it's this dress, and the fact it just doesn't look as good on you as it used to look. Maybe it's the fact that you're lonely, no matter how much time you spend with others.

"Are you thinking of killing yourself? Because that's, like, lame." Your head turns for some reason, as if it isn't immediately clear to you that it's Roman. "Only a little bit," you weakly chuckle out, turning back to look at the view. Small lights blinking from high to low, desperate to shine through the darkness.

Roman wordlessly walks to stand next to you, although he turns his back to the view. He leans on the old, marble railing, hands tucked in his pockets for only a moment before he pulls them out again.

He's clearly nervous. Emotions aren't on the forefront for him, and the dysfunction of his upbringing definitely hasn't made him capable of handling yours any time, either. But his hands clasp and unclasp, his eyes blink rapidly, and with a single sentence he dives into the deep end.

"So are you, uh, okay?"

Your breathing stills at the question. Suddenly the cold air blows into your eyes, and now suddenly it's making you tear up. Damn the cold air for making you look weak. "Yeah, I just... I don't know," you mumble out, carelessly wiping your eyes, any make-up you had on now smudged. From the corner of your sight you can see Roman's eyes widen. His head starts darting around, like he's searching for something in the air, as he hesitates in his next actions.

He takes a single step. A small one, for sure, but the step is to get closer to you. One leg over the other, and now his arm is touching yours. "D'you wanna... talk?" You shrug, still mindlessly staring out in front of you as Roman struggles to think of ways he can show he does care about your feelings, even if he wouldn't outwardly admit it.

"Wanna be my therapist?" You laugh bitterly as you say it, to which Roman cracks an uneasy smile. "Sounds like a fun time, maybe even a little hot. Doctor, patient, stuck in a room for way too long," he tells you, carrying a nonchalant grin.

As always, he makes you laugh. "And a therapy couch to have crazy monkey sex on. I'm into it." Roman's grin grows at that, teeth peeking out as he finally turns to look into the night as well. "Soooo, what, is the party so bad you're considering suicide?" You roll your eyes at him with a light smile, which he happily reciprocates. "You're on the right fuckin' path, though, since their wine tastes like the aftermath of a grape juice enema," he groans out, eyes squeezed shut in faux annoyance.

With each smile you give him, he feels more secure. Like his feet are properly tied onto the ground, instead of floating out into the empty cold of space. "I'm just sad is all, Romes. Not about the shit wine, though, I haven't even had any tonight."

"Seriously? I thought that guy from the app company sent you a drink. He wanted to get into your panties bad, you do know that, right?" He tries not to come over as jealous, since this is your moment of vulnerability, but you can tell he is by the way he runs a shaky hand through his hair. All you do is shrug in response. "Didn't accept it."

He cackles, which makes you smile. "You stone-cold bitch. Poor guy's gonna jerk himself off as he cries, and you show no mercy?"

Another shrug from you, and another laugh from him. His laughter dies down quickly when he sees the change in your expression. There's a quiet somberness to it. The kind that brought him back to his childhood, uniforms and broken mirrors. 

He hates that somberness on you.

"Seriously, what's up? You're all quiet and fuckin' depressed, it's giving me the heebie jeebies." Your head doesn't turn to Roman as you prepare to speak. You keep your eyes on the twinkling lights of the buildings far away from you. Twinkles of humans who are just as awake, and possibly just as solemn as you are. "It's these parties. They just kinda highlight my loneliness, it's... it's just a bit much tonight," you sigh out, head not moving an inch.

You don't bother looking at Roman's face. It's most definitely a melancholic one, eyes round and glassy with his eyebrows slightly knotted. "You have me," he mumbles out, and despite his weak attempt at making it sound humorous, you both know it fell flat. He's too desperate for you to acknowledge that for it to be funny.

"I know I do."

A silence falls between the two of you as you both stare out. Roman's arm is still flush against yours, a lick of heat that's so miniscule yet so warming to you. 

He's thinking of something, anything, to say to you. Something that'll comfort you like you always comfort him. But how can he copy the eye contact you make across a room, or the hug you always give him where you squeeze his shoulders extra tight? Nothing he could say could ever carry the nurture your perfume carries for him.

"You don't have to say anything, Romes, just... be here with me?"

Roman stills. His hands stop fiddling, and his eyes stop darting around, searching for an anchor point to help him stay ashore. He lets out a heavy sigh, before grabbing your hand and tugging you with him. "C'mon," he mumbles, not daring to look at your expression, "let's go home."

There's something far too domestic about how he texts his driver with one hand while the other one holds onto yours. Like you're not his underpaid assistant, or his closest friend, but instead his partner. Your mind floods with images of his apartment flooded with your things, and Sundays together in bed. 

The two of you weave through the crowd. Roman speaks for the both of you every time someone tries to speak to either of you, probably to ask why you're leaving so early. He simply throws a 'fuck off' their way as he continues leading you to the exit. 

The taxi is somehow already standing there. "Let's ditch this shitty granny orgy," he chuckles out. He's clearly just as nervous as you are about the implication of whatever is happening now, but he doesn't hesitate in sitting snugly against you in the car. You let your head fall onto his shoulder. A heavy sigh escapes you, the kind that felt like it had been in your lungs for years.

"Just so you know, I didn't do groceries." You huff out a small laugh. "I told you to start doing them though," you mumble against his shoulder. His head falls to lean against yours, digging his nose into your hair. "I know, I'm just really fucking stubborn, like, all the time," he mumbles back.

This makes you laugh a little harder. He laughs too, content in your proximity to him. It felt right, sharing body heat. The car stops, and as the two of you step out Roman grabs your hand again. He doesn't let go, not even when unlocking his door.

Your hands disconnect to let Roman remove and hang up his jacket. He scurries to his bedroom, leaving you to take in his apartment. You've been in it plenty of times, but never like this. Never in a way that made it feel like home.

Roman returns, already changed into a sweater and loose pants. He hands you some clothes, as well, head nudging you towards his bedroom. "It's all oversized, because my pecs are fucking huge and stretch my clothes out," he jokes, flexing his muscles as if he can't hear his blood flow in his ears.

With a sheepish grin you head to his bedroom and change. You try not to dwell on how constant Roman's scent now is, or how you're pretty sure he uses the same fabric softener as you. Instead, you call out his name, thoughtlessly throwing yourself into his bed.

He bites back a quip, and silently enters the bed to lay next to you. It's like there's no air in the room as you lay your head on his stomach, your arms carefully wrapping around his waist. Gently, he strokes your hair, other hand swung over you, keeping you as close as you can be.

Roman's body stiffens at the first sniffles. Your tears roll down your cheeks, but you don't let out any sobs. He pulls you up, and tightly wraps his arms around you. Only when your head is buried in Roman's shoulders, you let out a strangled cry. You convulse in Roman's hold, shivering despite the warmth he's giving you.

"Hey, it's okay, I'm here," he whispers as he keeps his hold on you strong, lightly rocking from side to side. There's a lump in his throat as he listens to you gently weeping. You, out of all people, shouldn't ever have to feel this way.

As you quiet down, only letting out the occasional hiccup, Roman lightly pulls you to look at him. He cradles your face with his hands, shakily wiping your wet cheeks with his thumbs as he tries to think of anything to say.

"If you need a salary raise, let me know."

A hoarse laugh escapes your throat. You smile through your tears, and Roman smiles back. 

"I think I'd like that."

[8iunie]

Måneskin and Alessandro Michele, an exclusive and open interview (21.11.2022)

The Italian band and Gucci's Creative Director talk about the many things they have in common. While writer Chiara Tagliaferri listen…

Every time they meet, the first thing Alessandro Michele asks the members of Måneskin is always the same: “Are you tired?” In this small, caring gesture lies all the tenderness that flows between them, these people who follow each other around the world, one of them designing outfits for the bodies of the others which then blaze on stage, setting everything alight.

They have one thing in common: Creation is for them an act of rebellion. If we wanted to go back to the moment where the fuse first triggered the explosion, we would find ourselves in Rome, a city that produces wonder and glimmers of redemption in the midst of its chaos.

Alessandro: I don't want to make it a question of geography, but of energy and trajectories. [Rome] is a sort of no man’s land where dreams intersect with possibilities, creating a place of freedom. In Rome things happen because theyhad to happen—it’s nothing to do with money or business. It’s a city teeming with activity, a she-wolf with multiple teats that comes bearing strange opportunities [referring to Rome’s creation myth and the she-wolf that nursed Romulus and Remus]. We come from a city that was pagan before it became Christian, and I feel pagan. We [Romans] have a relationship with the flow of life that’s very intimate, pornographic. We are set alight in the moment when everything happens. Here, creativity is born and it proliferates in a deeply human dimension. 

Damiano: Rome also helps keep your feet on the ground: it doesn't matter where you have to go, it could take half an hour or a couple of hours—the Raccordo Anulare [Rome’s ring road] doesn't give a shit whether you’re in a Ferrari or a Panda. Compared to Rome, you’ll never count for anything; you’re a spectator living in the city. I see this with Giorgia, my girlfriend, who moved from Milan and doesn't understand. I always tell her: “You have to stop trying to control things and abandon your body to the river of Rome, go with the flow.” For the bartender below my apartment, I’m just the lad from the top floor, nice and polite—Damiano from Måneskin doesn't exist. The only rule that applies here is “I like you, or I dislike you”. This is a city that brings things together and irons out differences—everyone exercises the right to make their own judgment.

Victoria: My relationship with Rome has changed over the years, now it’s the city I love most in the world. I like its rawness. It brings you back to reality and since we’re immersed in ever more crazy experiences, that helps us a lot. Los Angeles, London, and New York are stimulating, but coming home allows me to go out into the world without losing myself. When I was a kid, I didn't like it so much: I grew up in Monteverde, which is a very quiet neighborhood, and I remember that when we started playing in the streets, in secondary school, everyone used to make fun of us—we were the weirdos, the ones who dressed like oddballs. If we’d been more fragile this would have stopped us; instead it triggered a sense of revenge in us, which spurred us on even more.

Thomas: I’m in love with [the neighborhood] Trastevere. During the pandemic I rented an Airbnb there, it was like living in a model town: 10,000 inhabitants who all know each other. People have real contact with you. 

Måneskin are waxing lyrical about Rome from Mexico City, where they have just held a rather epic concert. Alessandro Michele and I have got hold of them while we’re in this ancient city that sprinkles the dust of the gods on your shoulders. Victoria, Damiano, Ethan, and Thomas tell us about a boat trip with mariachi bands playing and locals cooking onboard to celebrate the Day of the Dead. As I watch them—bodies still heavy with sleep, curled up in the bright morning sun—I think that Liliana Segre [a 92-year-old Italian politician and Holocaust survivor] is right when she says that she loves their music even though, at times, she has to look up the lyrics because “just by looking at them, I forget to follow the words.” Måneskin has this effect: when you look at them, you’re enchanted. Alessandro Michele once said, “Before communicating with words, communicate the body.” Måneskin’s bodies tell the story of sexual freedom, partly thanks to the harmony of intention that, with Michele, they have forged as a group, stitching together a union of powerful textures that Gucci's creative director explains in this way:

Alessandro: I’m a real pyromaniac and when I get my hands on some fuel I go crazy with happiness. I was following them and I thought, “This has to happen,” because we were already having a dialogue without knowing it. When we finally met it was like when you have sex for the first time with the person you like and you say, “It was obvious that we were going to make love in an extraordinary way.” A project like that can only be realized if there’s real harmony: it's an incredible amount of work because they’re doing so much, but I recognize myself in this hyper-production because I hyper-produce too—so together we create what feels like a super-long rosary prayer in which we “recite” dresses, jackets, bustiers, bodices, and combinations that seem impossible. The kind of clothes that I like are those with bodies in them, and with Måneskin there’s a very precise ritual: the clothes become a bonfire, they are set alight, and turn to dust on stage. 

Damiano: We were already on the same path, but our meeting made everything easier right from the start. Every time, Alessandro conjures up magic. He enters deep into music and transforms it into that visual impact that helps us perform with our bodies, too.

Thomas: What I like most about working together is seeing so much professionalism combined with a very strong artistic side, which is by no means something I take for granted. We have a lot of fun, too. There’s a lot of laughter during the fittings. 

Alessandro: One thing that my way of working has in common with yours is that you set alight something that has already been and gone (fire is clearly the common element of today’s discussion). You’ve taken a genre that was tucked away in a cellar, labelled as old and obsolete, and you’ve brought it back into thenow, making it exist again. You’re a “has been” that has become contemporary, impossible to decipher. How would you describe your relationship with the past?

Damiano: What’s made the difference for us is that yes, we hooked up with something from the past, but we didn’t respect its canon. We just did stuff we like, expressing ourselves exactly as we were. People who call themselves rock purists don’t compete at Sanremo or Eurovision, but we don’t have any issues with that. Being popular isn’t a stain; it doesn't sully you. No one opens a restaurant thinking, “I don't care about filling up the room.” I want to see a line outside the door!

Victoria: When we write our music, we do what comes instinctively to us. Each of us brings our own feelings and inspirations. For instance, I grew up listening to David Bowie, Led Zeppelin, Blondie, and the Sex Pistols. So when we get together in the studio we’re a great mix of different worlds. Sometimes this ends up in a clash and makes the creative process more complicated, but ultimately the result is never a copy of something that already exists. We manage to find a new path—a way that is ours and ours alone. 

Thomas: It’s true, we mix up our tastes a lot and since we started out as a band we’ve evolved in the way we play. We've always gone for the rock approach on stage—the electricity we transmit comes naturally to us. Unlike you, Alessandro, I’m pretty nostalgic about the past: I grew up with my father who made me listen to the great rock bands, and so I've been eating up that attitude forever.

Ethan: I’d like to add that in my opinion time doesn't exist, it's a bit of an illusion. Somehow present, past, and future are the same thing—it’s just that we have the perception of moments that pass one after the other, so the past is the present we’ve already lived, and the future is the present that wewill live. It is like when we stand between two mirrors, one in front and one behind: it creates that infinite tunnel in which every movement is reflected in both the front mirror and the back mirror, uniting them. The difference between the past and the future is simply this: the past sees your back, while the future sees your face. You’re in between and you’re a combination of the two—and whatever action you perform happens either because you did something earlier or because of what you will do later.

Alessandro: Building on your mirror metaphor, think about if you turn your back on the future and look at the past, which then reflects what the future could be. I like your idea—the present is an exercise in perception, but maybe we decide the time, and you’ve kind of decided yours. What is your relationship with time? 

Victoria: It's a complicated relationship, mine. Basically, you want what you don’t have at any moment. Up until two years ago, when we were on tour I’d miss Rome, my family, and my friends—but when I’d come back, after a week I’d be fried, I���d feel disoriented. For a couple of years now we've been constantly on the road, and it's crazy but also dangerous, because the lack of time risks affecting the artistic side: It can happen that we find ourselves writing a song in five days and it ends up being really foolish—we should take all the time in the world for our music.

Damiano: If I could take a pill to catch up on moments I have missed, I’d take one to be with friends, family, my girlfriend. I’d like to live the kind of conviviality that I haven't allowed myself in the last few years because I've always told myself, “Goals before everything else.” I did it with sport and now I’m doing it with music. Now that I’m older and have a different relationship with my parents and my brother—much more equal—I’d like to enjoy them.

Ethan: I’d climb a mountain, look for a monastery, and find someone who can teach me everything I can’t grasp by myself. 

Thomas: The subject of time is one that makes me really suffer. The thing I miss most is having the time to grow as a musician, to bring everything I learn into our group. When a car is going so fast, it’s genuinely difficult to maintain a strong artistic component. That's why, even when I’m exhausted, I take the odd moment to just start playing [my guitar]. I don’t want to fall behind the dreams that I have for myself. 

Ethan: The feeling you just described is an obsession of mine, too—I call it “the paradox of the famous artist.” Before they find fame, the artist is a nobody and has all the time in the world to create. When their art becomes famous, so does the artist, but because of their new fame they no longer have time to make the art. It’s an inevitable trap.

Damiano: This is the disease that has afflicted music in recent years. We’ve become used to seeing artists constantly promoting their work. I’m blown away by Harry Styles’s workload, he probably hasn't had a day off in the last four years. Part of me says, “Wow, what willpower,” but I wonder if it's fair to get our audience used to this kind of consumption—you start to forget that we’re human. Overexposure and working too far beyond our physical capabilities is what has destroyed the careers of the best artists of recent generations. When you can no longer live your life because on the one hand you’re overwhelmed by responsibilities and on the other you’re eaten up with fear about disappearing (what happens if I say no to that interview, to the TV appearance, to the tour), you begin to suffocate. I’d like to avoid a second wave of musicians going crazy or dying bloated from medication. There are so many good artists, I’d like to keep them healthy for the next few years!

Alessandro: I was already grown up when I became known to the fashion public. I was almost 42, and I realized that you have to hold onto who you are and where you’re going: You have to love yourself a lot and you have to love what you do just as much. You also have to learn to say no a lot. We’re human beings who like to create worlds: You imagine sounds that don’t exist and put them together, I see things that others don't see. It’s a great gift to be able to share with others what we hear and the stories we want to tell. The things I do must feel right to me: as long as there’s a small part of you in the music you make, that sincerity will pay off. In my spare time, for example, I am practicing idleness. I’m still learning because the need to constantly invent things is ingrained in me. I’m experimenting in a non-philosophical but practical way—what happens if I find the space to say, “Let’s see if I can resist without doing anything”? In my life I’ve developed a Calvinist sense of guilt when it comes to not doing stuff, but idleness is creative. It’s a practice that helps develop the senses.

Compared to Alessandro Michele and the members of Måneskin, I’m a travel newbie: I write books and take planes and trains to accompany them around the world, but there’s no comparison to these guys’ rhythms and lives. And yet, going from place to place, sleeping in hotels is always a bit alienating for me, it makes me feel uncomfortable. So I often cling to smells: When I smell something that reminds me of home, I feel less lonely. And I’ve found that the same goes for Ethan.

Ethan: Smells are very interesting, often we don't realize but they’re portals to another time. For example, the other day I smelled a scent that I’d forgotten, and it physically took me back to a place I hadn't thought about for a long time. I’d lived in a camper van for a year, I didn't have much money at that time and my kitchen had a really specific smell. When I smelled it again, I thought fondly, “I’d forgotten that!”

Damiano: No smells for me, but lots of cat hair. My clothes are always covered in cat hair, every time I open my suitcase I remember the cats, so they’re the ones who are my temporal gateways: they bring me home. By the way, cats are professionals at practicing idleness.

Alessandro: It's true, animals are great masters of idleness. They live this cosmic wholeness that is beautiful. The now is a vast expanse for them while we are restless, worrying about a future ready to punish us for our choices. 

Thomas: I’ve given up with pets. When I was 11 years old, I got my beloved piranha. I loved him so much, he was with me for 10 glorious years, but then he died. I didn’t want to replace him with anything else, and every now and then I pay him a visit. I buried him in the courtyard of my [apartment] building, that way I always have him close by.

Alessandro: You’re like Peggy Guggenheim who wanted all her little dogs buried beside her. My partner and I have a ritual: Every time we go to Venice we go to them, we stop in front of the tombstone, and we read the names that by now I know by heart: Cappucino, Hong Kong, Gypsy, Baby. The relationship we have with these creatures is mysterious, almost shamanic. We look to them to address a need in ourselves. We like them because they allow us to rediscover an affectionate, intimate conversation that has been lost. But I have another question. You’ll have been asked it many times but I’d like to understand your relationship with Victoria—from the outside it seems that there’s a real empathy between you. 

Damiano: It's like with those huge families, with lots of brothers and sisters. After a while you forget your sister’s a woman!

Thomas: We spend so much time together that that thing is no longer there, that barrier that you usually feel between the sexes.

Damiano: Exactly, there's not the awkwardness of wanting to impress or the fear of looking like you're trying. By now we all know that none of us will ever hit on Vic, and Vic will never hit on us. We’re friends. She wants to get naked? Let her get naked! We all do what we want. After seven years we’re the same. 

Victoria: In our family I don't feel any kind of difference. I’m very free, and in general gender cannot and should never be a discriminating factor, but I think I’m lucky: I’ve never been treated differently because I’m female. That’s not always the case: There are many environments where the gender gap creates unacceptable inequality in the way you’re treated, you constantly feel sexualized, inspected, and treated like an object.

Ethan: I’d like to add that being born with a vagina or a penis does not make you a woman or a man. What interests me is the soul of a person, and that’s neither male nor female – it’s simply an energy. I listen to them talk and think of Rupert Brooke's poetry: “I shall desire and I shall find / The best of my desires.” They do not hesitate, getting lost in possibilities, they have a thirst that spurs them on while I’m always sure I’ll lose everything. I go to sleep even as the world sparkles. And then Thomas will tell you about the evening he spent at Madonna’s house…

Thomas: Vic goes out every night. I want to as well, but it's hard to keep up with her. A few days ago I met an Italian guy who lives in New York and he invited me to a party. So I went along while, for once, Vic went back to the hotel. I think it was the first time in two years that she did that. And what happened was that eventually I found myself sitting next to Madonna. I called her and said, “Vic, I'm at Madonna's house!” She was really annoyed. 

Victoria: It was terrible! Even when I’m completely spent, I always go out because I'm afraid of missing things, and actually I was right. The one time I chose to sleep, I missed a party at Madonna's house. That's proof that I have to go out more!

Alessandro: Do you have any day-to-day tasks that one of you always does? Is there something that one of you is particularly good at? For example, I’m the medicine guy at home. I know where everything is so my partner asks me if he ever needs anything. He could find and take it himself, but it's an act of caring that I like to perform for him.

Damiano: I can count on Thomas because he’s curious, he likes to get us into situations even ones he wouldn’t go near if he were alone. For example, he took me to some NBA games even though he’s not a basketball fan. Vic is the most organized in terms of schedule. She reminds us of our appointments, but then always arrives 15 minutes late herself! Ethan is the perfect spokesperson: He has platonic gifts and we can talk together for hours and hours.

Thomas and Victoria: Damiano is very pragmatic, no flights of fancy and he gets straight to the point—he’s a rock.

Alessandro: We could go on with this chat forever. I like you guys so much because you have a precious gift: You’re in touch with life. Maybe for you it’s an unconscious reflex, but when I meet you I feel an electric shock. You have a beautiful awareness, and that’s something that it’s crucial to take care of.

📸 HUGO COMTE

[hugh-lauries-bald-spot]

tv show/movie ask meme: Succession!

favorite male character:

Greg, because I feel like he's already just such a weird dude but he's got sooo much potential going into season 4 to be even weirder and worse (/pos)

favorite female character:

❤️💞🥰💖 Gerri ❤️💞🥰💖, because well you see MILFS,, and hotness aside she's just so sarcastic and like deadpan and funny but also just so ruthlessly professional ("how does it serve my interests")

least favorite character:

Logan's already basically a free space so I'm gonna go with Karl Muller he's just annoying to me and I dislike when he comes onscreen for some reason,,,

prettiest character:

❤️💞🥰💖 Gerri ❤️����🥰💖

do I really need to explain myself further?

(gif credit as far as I know goes to @gerrikillallmen if that's incorrect please tell me-)

funniest character:

Ooh this is tough cause I wanna say Tom cause he's strange and insane and pathetically in love, but then again Roman cause he's strange and insane and pathetically in love, but then again Greg cause he's s-

favorite season:

Season 3 because all the storylines are just culminating to and end and it's so fascinating to see how it happens, all of the dynamics are at their peak, theres the surface conflicts and the underlying conflicts that attack you when you least expect it, the betrayal, the love it's all just so tragic (and COOL)

favorite episode:

Safe Room (2x04) : because its silly and weird and the tomgreg is insane, but also the Roman storyline is hilarious and if I'm not mistaken he calls Gerri "mommy" in this episode which is always appreciated

favorite romantic ship:

Tomgreg (I'm so sorry romangerri) because it's just so Roman (not as in the country itself as it is today, I've never been to Rome) but as in just look at the series of events (SPOILERS AHEAD):

-> man proposes to beautiful wife with a lot of power

-> he meets his girlfriend's cousin

-> he later proposes to his girlfriend

-> his wife is seeing other men

-> the cousin tries to warn him, he won't hear it

-> his wife admits to this after their wedding night

-> while she sees other people he is allegedly allowed to do the same thing but she intervenes not so subtly when he has the chance

-> their love languages grow more and more incompatible

-> he and the his wife's cousin form a weird bond (likened by the man to that of Nero and Sporus, wherein Nero killed his wife and married Sporus, the man says "I would castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat", meaning he would need to kill his wife first, which uh-)

-> the man eventually becomes loyal more-so to his wife's cousin than to his wife and betrays her to leverage himself and his assistant to a higher position

favorite family ship:

I love the dynamic between Shiv and Roman they're just So Siblings and I love when they gang up on Ken it's peak comedy.

favorite friend ship:

I know they were together but like Roman and Tabitha were great and I thought their relationship was more "best buds-y" (not that sex is a requirement for a romantic relationship) they just gave of more platonic romance than anything else and I thought it was sweet and funny for them

worst ship:

I don't know if this is real or not but I've seen some hints that some people ship Ken x Greg but they're related so that's a BIG no for me. I'm also not crazy about Tom x Roman or Tom x Ken but that's just personal preference I don't have beef with those ships themselves and anyone who does like them do your thing go off be free.

Sorry this is so long 😬

[gayspock]

goodness gracious

okay so set the scene im eating fruit and yoggy and granola with an iced coffee. just so youre aware. its 9am. i had a BIGGGG LIE IN bc i dont have work today (bank holiday) so smile

although in truth i wanted to go for my run & watch it as is tradition but it turns on the gym IS closed today booooo

tom will honestly suck the bigest dick in the room its so true

kendall being like "stewy dont hide from me" is seriously like half this website for the past few years. come out stewy. come out to see us. come on? kiss?

ROMAN HAVING AN ABSOLUTE MENTY B and just going to rot at his mams. so real for that. im sorry his MUMS. (booo)

"new jess" YOU SICK FUCK

ishould be saying more on this but im kinda jsut watching i know

do you know whats great. no matter who "comesout on top". we will always get a she-eo ceo <3

cunt i

cunt is

as

cunt does

fantastic....

its. horrfying to watch this bc i know shiv does not come out on top. of course she fucking doesnt. this isnt how it ends.

"i wanna fuck her a little bit" panning over to those sad wet bloodhound eyes of tom's

HELP

LUKAS THE FUNNIEST SEGUE

LUKAS SERIOUSLY WILL FUCK YOU BOTH I THINK . IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE

"we're going to be okay, greg" good heavens

GREG OPENING GOOGLE TRANSLARTE IS SO FUNNY

romans little grunt about that comment on his nuts. fantastic

something fucking tragic as well about tom being chosen bc lukas doesnt want a partnership, he doesnt want ideas, and shivs too full of them when

"he said them to me first" SO. BIG BROTHER.

HE DOESNT WANT IT. ROME NOT WANTING IT. so. real..........

kendall just diving into the water after going back to the pursuit kendall floating on the water kendall drowning in the water with a dead kid ken almost killing himself in the FUCKING WATER

THEIRI MPRESSIONS OF HIM AWWW

HES NOT GOING TO BE CEO I KNOW HE WONT BE BUT GOD FOR A SECOND HERE YOU COULD IMAGINE IT AS A GOOD THING EVEN WHEN IF HE UCKIN DID ITD BE HORRIBLE

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS ITS HORRIBLE

oh god this scene is fucking . help. eyes watering emoji. sniffling sound.

PETER DONT BE SO BITCHY

OF COURSEEEE WILLA WANTS THE COW PRINT COUCH. SO REAL

SHUT UP WHY ARE THEY .. theres so many nice uufcking. i feel ill. i do feel ill . STOP IT.

DONT CUT TO FUCKING GREG RIGHT NOW THATS INSANE

tom you absolute bitch

theres something about toms timbre when he feigns surpris-

"its you" the fucking venom in her voice

IM REEEEELINGGGGGGG

EXACTLY. HE WENT FOR THE EMPTY SUIT SHIV. AND THATS THE MOST TWISTED PART OF IT. SHIV WOULD ALWAYS HAVE BEEN SEEN AS THE EMPTY SUIT AS A WOMAN BU-

OHHH M GOD HER BITCH WALK COME ON FUCKING

THE MUSIC

GOOD HEAVENS

IM HAVING GOOSE BUMPS

YOU ARE NOT CUTTING FROM SHIVS FUCKING DRAMATIC LITTLE MOMENT TO FUCKING TOMGREG IN THE BATHROOM

YOU FUCKING PRICK-

HIT

GIRLS . ladies . HEY

FIGT

FIGHT

FIGHT

FIGHT

FIGHT

FIGHT

FIGH

PUNCH HIM IN THE CUNT

CAROLINE SNAKINGGGGGG HISS GIRL HISS FOR ME

hi stewyyyyy giggle

cutting to shiv making eyhes at this exchange happening in front of her like uh huhhorrific

ROMAN

imliterally soryr fuck roman i know so earlier it was like fuck roman but ugh yeah fine hes

whatEVER

do any other LOSERS RELATER DO ANY OTHER LOSERS WHO KNEW THEY NEVER HAD A CHANCE RELATE ANY OTHER LOSERS RELATE, DOES THE "IT COULD HAVE BEEN YOU" BURN MORE THAN THE LOSS ITSELF MAYBE anyway

we need compilations of shiv power walking

the fucking parallels of fucking

OF WHEN LOGAN WAS FUCKING PRESSURRING THEM ALL IN THAT ROOM AND NOW KEN DOING IT NOW YOU BETTER BE SMELLNG YOUR ARMPIT ROMULUS VS THATS FUCKING RIGHT

hi shiv

shiv

I DONT THINK YOU WOULD BE GOOD AT TH

for fucks sake s

shiv get his ass

thats so

THIS FUCKING SHIT LIKE I MIGHT DIE KENDALL HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THAT AS THE PROBLEM KENDALL- HE KILLED SOMEONE GOOD HEAVENS

THATS NOT AN ISSUE IS ANYONE CRAZY

what is worse. killing a kid or lying about killing a kid

SHIV JUST BEING LIKE No................. I LVOE YOU B UT I CANT SOTMACH YOU IS ANYONE FUCKING

THEM HEARING THIS ALL

IM THE ELDEST BOY

IS ANYONE

YOURE NOT

CONNOR IS

holy shit

holy shit

YOU FUCKING C

GHOLY SHIT

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

GUYS

GUYS CAN YOU ALL BE SERIOUS

THIS IS ALWAYS HOW IT WAS GOING TO FUCKING END YOU FUCKING

I FEEL SICK IN THE HEAD

KENDALL

KENDALL WE NEED TO PRACTICE MINDFULNESS NOW

KENDALL

ME WHEN I BURN EVERYTHING ME WHEN I GIVE EVERY PIECE OF MYSELF TO MY BIRTHRIGHT WHEN IM NOT EVEN GOOOD AT IT AND MY SISTER SAYS SO OOOPSIES

WE'RE NOTHINGGGGGGGGGG

i love it when little men get angry. like ahhh! x3 so ferocious. awww. yap yap yap

EVERYONE WHO JUST FUCKING HEARD AL OF THAT IN THE FUCKING OTHER ROOM. KEN. ITS DONE.

ken dont fucking kill uyourself now

ken

we need to be normal right now

TOM ON TOP IS PERHAPS THE MOST NANUSEATIGNG. MY GOD.....

WHY ARE WE GETTING KRANK KONTENT

WHERES KAROLINA. HEAVENS.

GREG BARELY GETTING A FUCKING HANDSHAKE

THEYRE DEAD. KRANK ARE DEAD. OLD CUNTS.

you fucked it man you fucked it man you fucking piece of shit help-H WHY DID YOU JUST FUCKING STIKC TH

OH I FEEL A LITTLE UNWELL . CAN YOU TWO CUT IT OUT FOR 10 FUCKING SECONDS.

OH GOD ITS ENDING NOW ISNT IT

OH GOD

this shit reeks

kendall

KENDALL

GET AWAY FROM THE FUCKING WATER KENDALL

DONT KENDALL YOURSELF YOURE SO SEXY

does anyone else feel fucking unwell i think im gonna sob

[catominor]

#can you imagine the discourse? they'd eat each other alive#i honestly found masters of rome so refreshing after years of being in fandoms worried about 'problematic' themes#it depicts fucked-up shit without trying to make it moral or didactic & trusts the reader to judge for themselves#it's the antithesis of the idea that writers are responsible for their audience's moral development which permeates a lot of media discours#an idea that's creatively stifling and exhausting and impossible for the writer to reach#and i say this as someone who DOES value diverse representation and depictions of healthy relationships#but the audience plays an active role in media reception and is not merely a passive sponge for a story's themes#i think that responsibility to think critically about media you love feels uncomfortable for many people. but it's also liberating#it enables you to love something while disagreeing with it and to refine your own values more clearly through dialogue with the text#anyway booktok definitely needs this book &lt;3

I actually think about this a lot honestly ... like people in todays internet climate could NOT handle first man in rome the discourse would be CRAZY....

but one of the things i do think about is that like... it's really true that the way mccullough presents roman society in all its aspects, including those which are confusing or unpalatable for people today, is such a huge strength of the series.

and it really isn't didactic and doesn't feel the need to have the sort of "just so you know the author is shaking their head so the audience knows they don't agree with this" type of stuff that a lot of discourse seems to demand. she doesn't feel the need to qualify the perspectives of the characters, which makes it really immersive in a way that i don't always find historical fiction; it feels very authentic.

i think in today's like... overly-vigilant and often extremely morally obsessive media criticism landscape it's really very nerve wracking for writers (i know it is for me at least) to know like.. how can i possibly present something authentically without getting accused of condoning every bad thing that's presented without some kind of disclaimer. which I imagine is much worse now than whatever was going on in the 80s-90s. as a writer it feels very freeing to read books where there isn't this extreme scrupulosity and handwringing about presenting uncomfortable topics

we need to make the hot new booktok book the first man in rome by colleen mccullough

[algumaideia]

An analysis of Octavian

This post was actually going to be an explanation of why I think Octavian is an antagonist, but not a villain. But it ended up being an analysis of his character. 

SPOILERS

And as always feel free to disagree with me, just be respectful. 

Sorry, because it wasn’t well-written, I’m incapable of writing good texts. 

Backstory

I think it is important to say that since we don’t have any information about his backstory most of the thing said in this part of the review are what I think is his backstory. It is a mix of the facts stated in the books, the way Octavian acts and my interpretations. Besides the things I’ll make clear that were said in the books, the rest is not canon. And you don’t need to agree with me that this was his backstory.

His family is one of the richest of New Rome- In the books he also seems to act without fearing the consequences while taking the privilege/money of his family as garented. Octavian acts like someone that is seeking attention. It is so weird how he just do whatever he wants without fearing consequences when his family is right there in New Rome. For that to happen I think or his family neglects him or they are those kind of people who think the children can do no wrong and are all my baby didn’t do that. But I think that if they were the latter, they would be more present in Octavian’s life, but they are never there. 

He is an augere and feels very proud about it. I don’t think there is too much to add about it besides that I think he likes to be an augere because it makes him important and necessary.

No one likes him and this isn’t something new. In Son of Neptune, Hazel says half of the camp hates Octavian and most of his friends are bought. So, Octavian is a lonely child. And he is aware of this. He is a bad person, people dislike him for a reason. But it seems people have been disliking him for some years and he is a child. According to his wiki he was 10 years old when he came to Camp Jupiter for the first time, and he spent his tweens and teens years in a place where people did not like him. I don’t think this was a good place to grow up.

He is really smart and manipulative. I think that those traits are a little inconsistent. Because in the beginning of the SoN Percy says how Octavian is really good at manipulating people with words, but then in the ending of the book and in MoA everyone is shutting Octavian up. Isn’t he this kind of master of words, how he isn’t answering people back? 

We also know he’s been at camp jupiter for quite sometime. I’ll talk about it in another part of the post.

He is anemic and mentally ill. I’ll talk about those things in the Camp Jupiter, Treatment and Ableism parts. 

Other thing that I would like to say is that this post is not an attempt to ignore the bad things Octavian did and pretend he is not a bad person. It is just me trying to understand his better and show why in my opinion the fandom hasn’t treated him fairly.

Camp Jupiter

Camp Jupiter sucks and it does for a lot of reasons. Some of them being the fact they have a city full of adults and most of them were demigods trained in the camp, which means they have trained adults but instead tweens and teens are the ones who fights. Hazel said that if Percy dishonored the legion they both would be executed. Hazel also says that sometimes people die in the war games. There is also the fact that people are dying all the time in missions/wars. The Camp Jupiter also expects perfect behavior for its demigods, to them all know the rules and to do not commit mistakes and I don’t have adhd but this doesn’t seem to be a good place to people that has the disorder. There is too much preassure to do not do any wrong, apperently no emotional support and the punishments seems to be crazy. It’s not a healthy place to a chldren grow up.

Other point is how they value physical strenght, hand to hand combats and offensive approache more than a lot of things. Frank said how he wasn’t treated well because he was an archer, and this was seem as cowardice. Octavian is anemic, he doesn’t have physical strenght or energy to be able to fight. The only way to be respected in Jupiter's camp is to be a good fighter, and he cannot be that because of his illness. As I said Octavian is someone that is often seeking attention and validation by his peers, and I think that this is why being an augere is something so important to him. He cannot make himself important in the traditional way and by being an augere he is necessary to the camp. People cannot just dismiss him. He buys friends, he manipulates people, he becomes a centurion, he is always dominating the senate. He makes himself impossible to be neglected. 

Yes, Octavian is power-hungry. Yes, he is bad. But a lot of things he did during Heroes of Olympus was just Roman things (he was also mentally ill and his mental health was getting worse in each book). When Hazel says that Octavian will kill Percy if the greeks atack New Rome, but in the next sentence she says that Romans take oaths very seriously. However it is all written like it is Octavian being a horrible person. But it is not. The Romans are very harsh with their punishments, they seem to be violent, physical. When Octavian says the Romans should fight the greeks, he is just acting like a Roman, like someone who was raised in a enviroment that encouraged violence responses.

Treatment

Octavian wasn’t treated nicely by the narrative and other characters. I mean, this guy was the centurion of the first cohort and an augere. But no one seem to respect him. No one enters the legion without him saying yes (I know it is acording to what he sees) but he is treated like he isn’t important. He is the one that is responsable of saying what the gods wants, but no one seems to have problems mocking him. I mean fi he decides to give you a wrong information about what a god want you are dead. 

Hazel said how “obsessed” with the sibylline books Octavian and it was framed as him being irrational and dumb. But in the end he was right, if the legion listened to him Ella would have been save way sooner. But no, it is just Octavian being  “obsessed”.

Percy acts like Octavian doesn’t have any prophecy powers, but he saw the lighting in the Jupiter Temple. Then when Octavian is mad because there are three preators he acts like he is overreacting, and Jason and Reyna do nothing. And this is weird because it was made very clear that rules are very important to Camp Jupiter. 

When he decides to attack Camp Jupiter he is always villified and not seem as a mentally ill boy that has been getting worse doing the Roman thing. 

He is always dismissed, mocked, villified, ignored.

And the fact Luke was treated with sympathy, but Octavian not. Luke, who tried to kill Percy, a childre, a lot of times. Luke, who used Annabeth feelings and emotional attachment to manipulate her. Luke, who was 19-22 years old and groomed Silena, who was 14-18 years old. Luke, who poisoned Talia’s tree. Luke, who had no regards for Grover, the satyr that saved him. Luke was treated with sympathy. But not Octavian. Not the mentally ill child who was losing the touch with reality during the series. Not the guy who was just doing what he was raised to do. 

I mean, I don’t even like Octavian and I cannot stand it.

Gwen

Guys, Octavian did a lot of bad things but killing Gwen wasn’t one of those thing. It is so no sense for a lot of reasons. 

As we talked before he is anemic and he is also smart. This intelligent man, that is full aware of his physical limits, thought it would be a good idea to get in the midle of a chaotic fight? I don’t think so.

Some pages before that Percy hit Octavian and he fell like a straw man (according to the text, the first time I read it I thought he fainted). 

Octavian always makes things because of a purpose, he isn’t just being mean because. He does bad things because his actions will give him something. Killing Gwen wouldn’t help him with anything.

Frank for some reason decided to look to Octavian during that mess and that doesn’t make any sense. He is in the camp for a month at this time the guy should’ve already known that Octavian doesn’t battle, he only commands. He saw Percy fighting for a couple of seconds during the war game and was already able to say how he fought.

Octavian was without his knive, but just minutes before he fainted, he could have lost it when he fell.

Frank said that Octavian seemed interested and not worried. But this is not enough to blame the guy, this is not enough to assume anything execpt that maybe Octavian has low empath. 

Greeks

Octavian was a roman. To the romans the greeks didn’t exist anymore, and they were the enemy. 

So, a random greek shows up, spends some days at the camp, becomes preator, and two of your most important gods appear and give a lot of attention to this greek. This is really suspicious. This greek also says that the romans should work with the greeks so they can defeat Gaea. And why you should trust this dude? He doesn’t show respect for the Roman culture. Then this huge war ship appears and this suspect greek guy says that they all come peace and the romans should not attack. Obviously you don’t believe it, and what happens they attack! As the good roman you are, your answer is to attack the greeks back. 

The romans answers things with violence. This is why Reyna asked if Annabeth was a roman after the judo flip. This is why Hazel said she and Percy would be executed if he did a mistake during his period of probatio. Octavian was being roman. He was trying to protect and revenge his Camp against a long time enemy. 

Not saying everything he did about it was logical, but this is because of his upbringing and his mental health. 

Goals

I think it is really interisting the fact that Octavian main goal was to be a hero, not more powerful. Apollo didin’t say Octavian would become preator, he said Octavian would save New Rome. 

I mean, since Octavian wanted to be preator and then became the pontifex maximum, so the logical think it would be to him wants more power. But no he wants to be a hero. A hero is someone that is respected, admired, liked and even loved. All the thing Octavian isn't. Don't get me wrong, Octavian is a bad person, there is a reason people dislike him. But he is also a lonely child that is hated by most of the camp.

Ableism

Octavian is often described as crazy, mad, insane. In his first appearence Percy said Octavian had madness in the eyes, and this was the way of the narrative warning us he was one of the bad guys. He is obviusly mentally ill, his mental health is obviusly getting worse, but everyone ignores it. Everyone ignores it, execpt when they are describing how insane his laugh is, how crazy he looks, how intense his gaze is. Everyone ignores it, until they need to remind us he is one of the antagonists. 

Ending

The ending was terrible. 

Octavian was obiously having a psychotic break, he was stumbling, laughing “in an insane” way, and he didn’t realize his jewelry was in fire. And then what happens? Michael Kahale, the person he most trusted, his problaby only friends appeared, saw the situation and did nothing.

Octavian didn’t kill himself. He didn’t know his clothes were tied in the onager. It wasn’t a sacrifice. It was an aciddent. 

Nico stopped Will Solace who was trying to warn it because some “deaths are inevitable”. Nico, also a mentally ill character saw Octavian in the vulnerable state he was and did nothing to help him. And when Nico was seeing Octavian lunch himself to the sky he thought that this was a relief. No one was sad, no one thought this was a tragedy, no one cared. Octavian was dead and that was a relief. 

The guy was so desperate to be the hero and no one even cared about his death. It is horrible.

Another sorry for the weird tense of the text.

If you want to read this is my post about Octavian and Azula and how their mental illness were treated differently.

Best regards,

Me. 

Ps. We need to start talking how the way Bryce was written was ableist.

[toscrollperchancetomeme]

Lestat de Lioncourt - A playlist

So, guess who made a Lestat Playlist (like there aren't enough already) and decided to sit down for 4-6 hours to find some excerpt corresponding with each song? Featuring 80s and 90s music (clearly showing my age...) as well as many european songs and showtunes. Enjoy!

1. Cathedrals – Ramin Karimloo (Original by Jump, Little Children)

In the cathedrals of New York and Rome There is a feeling that you should just go home And spend the lifetime finding out just where that is

And that was not a good year for me. I was wandering aimlessly. I was sick of things. I was furious with myself that the „beauty“ of life wasn't sustaining me, wasn't making my loneliness bearable.

I wanted to join them. Always do want to join them and never do. „Go home,“ he whispered. - Prince Lestat

(I actually feel like there are quotes that would correspond to this song in every one of the books and indeed have not yet found any other song that captures the general spirit of The Vampire Chronicles as perfectly.)

2. Edge of Seventeen – Stevie Nicks

Well, I went today Maybe I will go again tomorrow Yeah yeah, well, the music there Well, it was hauntingly familiar Well, I see you doing what I try to do for me With the words from a poet and a voice from a choir And a melody, and nothing else mattered

He sat next to me, hugging me and asking me why I was crying, and though I couldn't tell him, I could see that he was overwhelmed that his music had produced this effect. There was no sarcasm or bitterness in him now. I think he carried me home that night. And the next morning I was standing in the crooked stone street in front of his father's shop, tossing pebbles up at his window. When he stuck his head out, I said: „Do you want to come down and go on with our conversation?“ - The Vampire Lestat

3. I ain't scared of lightning – Tom McRae

No I ain't scared of lightning And thunder never killed I was born in a summer storm and I live there still

I wasn't part of the world that cringed at such things. And with a smile, I realized that I was of that dark ilk that makes others cringe. Slowly and with great pleasure, I laughed.

And the labor that brought it forth was rapture such as I have never known. - The Vampire Lestat

4. Junge Roemer – Falco (Young Romans – Full Translation)

Don't ask for new old values See white light, see only feeling The night is ours till morning We play every game Don't ever let this journey end The doing comes only from the being Only from dimensions, that Are worth illusions and sensations Give me more, give me more, give me more...

... and again she laughed. „Ah, but we are splendid devils, aren't we?“ „Hunters of the Savage Garden,“ I said. „Then let's go into Paris,“ she said. - The Vampire Lestat

5. Running up that hill – Candy Says (Original by Kate Bush

If I only could, I'd make a deal with God, And I'd get him to swap our places, Be running up that road, Be running up that hill, Be running up that building,

„Not even with Nicolas?“ „No, god, no!“ I looked at her. She nodded slightly as if she approved of this answer. „Why not with Nicolas?“ she asked. I wanted this to stop. „Because he's young,“ I said, „and he has life before him.“ - The Vampire Lestat

6. Florence – Notre Dame de Paris (Full Translation)

The little things always triumph over the large And literature will kill architecture The school books will kill the cathedrals The Bible will kill the Church, and man will kill God This will kill that

„I never lived in it. I push against the glass. But how do I get in?“ „I can't tell you that,“ I said. „You have to study this age,“ Gabrielle interrupted. Her voice was calm but commanding. He looked towards her as she spoke. „You have to understand the age,“ she continued, „through its literature and its music and its art. You have come up out of the earth, as you yourself put it. Now live in the world.“ No answer from him. Flash of Nicki's ravaged flat with all its books on the floor. Western civilization in heaps. - The Vampire Lestat

7. Go your own way – Fleetwood Mac

Loving you isn't the right thing to do How can I ever change things that I feel

If I could maybe I'd give you my world How can I when you won't take it from me

You can go your own way You can call it another lonely day

„Keep your promise,“ she said. And quite suddenly I knew this was our last moment. I knew it and I could do nothing to change it. „Gabrielle!“ I whispered. But she was already gone. - The Vampire Lestat

8. Désenchantée – Olympe (Original by Myléne Farmer - Full Translation)

If death is a mystery Life isn't exactly tender If heaven has a hell Then heaven can still wait for me Tell me how to handle this headwind Nothing makes sense anymore, nothing's fine

Laughter. That insane music. That din, that dissonance, that never ending shrill articulation of the meaninglessness... Am I awake? Am I asleep? I am sure of one thing. I am a monster. And because I lie in torment in the earth, certain human beings move on through the narrow pass of life unmolested. - The Vampire Lestat

9. A kind of magic – Queen

The bell that rings inside your mind Is challenging the doors of time It's a kind of magic The waiting seems eternity The day will dawn of sanity

And quite completely I understood that it was looking for me, this sound, it was seeking me out.

Blood like light itself, liquid fire.

It seemed beneath the roar of the flow he spoke. He said again: „Drink, my young one, my wounded one.“ I felt his heart swell, his body undulate, and we were sealed against each other. I think I heard myself say: „Marius.“ And he answered: „Yes.“ - The Vampire Lestat

10. La quête – Bruno Pelletier (French version of „The Impossible Dream“ from Man of La Mancha)

To try when your arms are too weary To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest To follow that star Ooh, no matter how hopeless No matter how far

I would remain in New Orleans if New Orleans could only manage to remain. Whatever I suffered should be lessened in this lawless place, whatever I craved should give me more pleasure once I had it in my grasp. And there were moments on that first night in this fetid little paradise when I prayed that in spite of all my secret power, I was somehow kin to every mortal man. - The Vampire Lestat

11. Wicked Game – Chris Isaak

What a wicked game you play, to make me feel this way What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you

Yet Louis gained a hold over me far more powerful than Nicolas had ever had. Even in his cruelest moments, Louis touched the tenderness in me, seducing me with his staggering dependence, his infatuation with my every gesture and every spoken word. - The Vampire Lestat

12. Do I disappoint you – Rufus Wainwright

Do I disappoint you, in just being human? And not one of the elements that you can light your cigar on Why does it always have to be fire? Why does it always have to be brimstone?

„And suppose the vampire who made you knew nothing, and the vampire before him knew nothing, and so it goes back and back, nothing proceeding from nothing, until there is nothing! And we must live with the knowledge that there is no knowledge!“ „Yes!“ he cried out suddenly, his hands out, his voice tinged with something other than anger.

And then I sensed it. He was afraid. Lestat afraid. - Interview with the Vampire

13. Ordinary World – Duran Duran

What has happened to it all? Crazy, some'd say Where is the life that I recognize? Gone away

But I won't cry for yesterday There's an ordinary world Somehow I have to find And as I try to make my way To the ordinary world I will learn to survive

I do not remember when it became the twentieth century, only that everything was uglier and darker, and the beauty I'd known in the old eighteenth-century days seemed more than ever some kind of fanciful idea. - The Vampire Lestat

14. I'm still standing – Taron Egerton (Original by Elton John)

And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you You'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use And did you think this fool could never win? Well look at me, I'm coming back again

But after the third night up, I was roaring around New Orleans on a big black Harley-Davidson motorcycle making plenty of noise myself. […] I was the vampire Lestat again. I was back in action. New Orleans was once again my hunting ground. - The Vampire Lestat

15. Catch my fall – Billy Idol

I have the time so I will sing, yeah I'm just a boy but I will win, yeah Lost song of lovers, fellow travelers, yeah Leave me sad and hollow out of words

It could happen to you so think for yourself If I should stumble, catch my fall, yeah

I've survived, obviously. I wouldn't be talking to you if I hadn't. And the cosmic dust has finally settled; and the small rift in the world's fabric of rational beliefs has been mended, or at least closed. I'm a little sadder for all of it, and a little meaner and a little more conscientious as well. - The Queen of the Damned

16. I want it all – Queen

I'm a man with a one track mind So much to do in one lifetime (people do you hear me) Not a man for compromise and where's and why's and living lies So I'm living it all, yes I'm living it all And I'm giving it all, and I'm giving it all

It is not enough any longer that my little rock band be successful. We must create a fame that will carry my name and my voice to the remotest parts of the world. - The Vampire Lestat

17. Let me entertain you – Robbie Williams

Hell is gone and heaven's here There's nothing left for you to fear Shake your arse come over here Now scream

I'm a burning effigy Of everything I used to be You're my rock of empathy, my dear

So come on let me entertain you

"I AM THE VAMPIRE LESTAT!" I shouted at the top of my lungs as I stepped way back from the microphone, and the sound was almost visible as it arched over the length of the oval theater, and the voice of the crowd rose even higher, louder, as if to devour the ringing sound. - The Vampire Lestat

18. La bien qui fait mal – Mozart l'Opera Rock (Full translation)

I can feel a violent urge I feel like I'm sliding towards the ground If I don't find out where this plague is coming from I adore having it under my skin Bewitched by mad ideas Suddenly all my cravings take off The desire becomes my prison Until I loose my mind

Yet I was in her arms in this chilling darkness, in the familiar scent of winter, and her blood was mine again, and it was enslaving me. When she drew away, I felt agony. - The Queen of the Damned

19. Tainted Love – Soft Cell

And you think love is to pray But I'm sorry I don't pray that way Once I ran to you Now I'll run from you This tainted love you've given I give you all a boy could give you Take my tears and that's not living, oh

„What do you think I am that I am so easily swayed? I was born a Queen. I have always ruled; even from the shrine I ruled." Her eyes were glazed suddenly. I heard the voices, a dull hum rising. "I ruled if only in legend; if only in the minds of those who came to me and paid me tribute. Princes who played music for me; who brought me offerings and prayers. What do you want of me now? That for you, I renounce my throne, my destiny!" What answer could I make? - The Queen of the Damned

20. Dancing in the Dark – Ruth Moody (Original by Bruce Springsteen)

They say you gotta stay hungry Hey baby, I'm just about starvin' tonight I'm dyin' for some action I'm sick of sittin' 'round here tryin' to write this book I need a love reaction Come on now, baby, gimme just one look

"I want you to put the book aside and come join us," he said. "You've been locked in here for over a month." "I go out now and then," I said. I liked looking at him, at the neon blue of his eyes.

"Do you love me now?" I asked. He smiled; oh, it was excruciating to see his face soften and brighten simultaneously when he smiled. "Yes," he said. "Want to go on a little adventure?" My heart was thudding suddenly. It would be so grand if- "Want to break the new rules?" "What in the world do you mean?" he whispered. - The Queen of the Damned

21. I want you – Savage Garden

Oh, I want you, I don't know if I need you But oh, I would die to find out

"You don't think you'll be back?" he asked. "I think you will, whether I call or not." Another little surprise. A little stab of humiliation. I smiled at him in spite of myself. He was a very interesting man. "You silver-tongued British bastard," I said. "How dare you say that to me with such condescension? Maybe I should kill you right now."

I thought of David Talbot's face, and that moment when he'd challenged me. Well, maybe he was right. I'd be back. Who said I couldn't come back and talk to him if I wanted to? - The Queen of the Damned

22. Lay your hands on me – Bon Jovi

I'm a fighter, I'm a poet, I'm a preacher I've been to school, oh baby, I've been the teacher If you show me how to get up off the ground I can show you how to fly and never ever come back down

I sat down on the bed beside him. And then I bent down and kissed his face again gently, as I had in New Orleans, liking the feel of his roughly shaven beard, just as I liked that sort of thing when I was really Lestat and I would soon have that strong masculine blood inside. I moved closer to him, when suddenly he grasped my hand, and I felt him gently push me away. „Why, David?“ I asked him. He didn't answer. He lifted his right hand and brushed my hair back out of my eyes. „I don't know,“ he whispered. „I can't. I simply can't.“ - The Tale of the Body Thief

23. 20th Century Boy – Placebo (Original by T-Rex)

I move like a cat, charge like a ram Sting like a bee, babe, I wanna be your man, hey!

He drew back with a speed that astonished me, cleaving to the wall. „Don't do this, Lestat.“ „Don't fight me, old friend. You waste your effort. You have a long night of discovery ahead.“ - The Tale of the Body Thief

24. Way down we go – KALEO

Oh, Father tell me, do we get what we deserve? Whoa, we get what we deserve And way down we go

„In chains, to my friend and my scribe, I dictated these words. Come with me. Just listen to me. Don't leave me alone.“ - Memnoch the Devil

25. Personal Jesus – Depeche Mode

Reach out, touch faith

"Don't tell me," Gabrielle said slurringly, "that it's a matter of faith." She sneered and shook her head. "You come like doubting Thomas to thrust your bloody fangs in the very wound." "Oh, stop, please, I beg you," I whispered. I put up my hands. "Let me try, and let him hurt me, and then be satisfied, and turn away." - The Vampire Armand

26. Papillon – Editors

Darling Just don't put down your guns yet If there really was a God here He'd have raised a hand by now Now darling You're born, get old, then die here Well that's quite enough for me We'll find our own way home somehow

"And if I spill my blood down into this coffin now," Lestat asked her, "what do you think will come back? Do you think it will be our Louis that will rise in these burnt rags? What if it's not, chérie, what if it's some wounded revenant that we must destroy?" "Choose life, Lestat," she said. - Merrick

27. Sunday Light – Choir Boy

Why, why, why, are you silent on the ride home? I'd love to see the temple with you Heavenly and bright, golden angel twisted scathing You were one of us, one of us, one of us, you were one of us

"Then come, Little Brother, take me to where you want to talk," he said, and I felt the soft squeeze of his fingers on my arm. "Why are you so kind to me?" I asked him. "You're used to people being paid to do it, aren't you?" he asked. - Blackwood Farm

28. Für mich solls rote Rosen regnen – Hildegard Knef (It should rain red roses for me - Full translation)

It should rain red roses for me All wonders should encounter me The world should rearrange itself And keep its worries to itself

I want to be a saint. I want to save souls by the millions. I want to do good far and wide. I want to fight evil! I want my life-sized statue in every church. I'm talking six feet tall, blond hair, blue eyes- Wait a second. Do you know who I am? - Blood Canticle

29. Constant Craving – K. D. Lang

Even through the darkest phase Be it thick or thin Always someone marches brave Here beneath my skin And constant craving Has always been

I was hunting, thirsting though I didn't need to drink, at the mercy of the craving, the deep agonizing lust for heated pumping human blood. - Prince Lestat

30. Kalte Sterne – Jan Ammann (Cold Stars from the musical Ludwig² - Full translation)

Get up, ride home, on your horse, through your land Across the morning with your reins trailing behind you Build a castle like a dream, build it with mighty hands And it shall be named „future“

Build a castle like a dream Up from the ashes and close to the heavens Build a castle like a dream And realise the future as king

If we wanted to survive, if we wanted to inherit the millenia […] then we had to meet the future with respect as well as courage and count fear and selfishness to be small things. - Prince Lestat and the realms of Atlantis

31. C'est une belle journée – Mylene Farmer (Full translation)

I'm going to bed To bite eternity With my mouth wide open It's a beautiful day

And I felt the cold numbing shell of alienation and despair which had imprisoned me all of my life among the Undead – I felt that shell cracked, broken, and dissolved utterly into infinitesimal fragments. - Blood Communion

32. Princes of the Universe – Queen

Fly the moon and reach for the stars With my sword and head held high Got to pass the test first time, yeah I know that people talk about me, I hear it every day But I can prove them wrong 'cause I'm right first time

„I know that you meant full well to bring Rhoshamandes down, of course you did. But you had no way of knowing that you could. And no one would have predicted that you could. And with the willingness to die, you gave yourself over into his hands... and you disarmed him and destroyed him.“ – Blood Communion

And finally, because I can, a bonus track:

33. Primadonna – MARINA

And I'm sad to the core, core, core Every day is a chore, chore, chore When you give, I want more, more, more I wanna be adored

[pochiperpe90]

To be (and not to be) De André

He looks a lot like him. Yet the first thing he said, when they offered him the role of Faber in the film about his life, was: «l don't quite measure up.». He succeeded thanks to Dori Ghezzi. That helped him to find the only way possible: don’t try to imitate Fabrizio, but to sublimate him. 

«It wasn't fear, it was pure terror; I had no idea how to do it, what to do». Vigilant, magnetic and irresistibly reticent, Luca Marinelli recalls the days when he knew he was candidate to become Fabrizio De André on the screen. At the time, he still didn’t imagine that he had already passed the first exam, the most severe, the approval of the second wife and life partner of the great Genoese singer-songwriter who died on January 11 of the 1999 at the age of 59, who had supervised the project: “The first thing I anticipated to the writers and the director was: the right actor will be the one who will tell me not to be up to it. Those were Marinelli's first words," recalled Dori Ghezzi after having witnessed the gigantic and touching interpretation of the young Roman actor at the Milanese premiere of Fabrizio De André. Principe Libero, which, after its film debut, will be broadcast in two episodes on Rai1, February 13th and 14th. "The day before I met Dori I sent a message to a fraternal friend, just the one that gifted me ‘Storia di un impiegato’ by De André, making me promise that I would always listen to it from beginning to end, as if it was a story" Marinelli insists, playing out of time with a sense of inadequacy. “So I wrote to him: with pride maybe I will make a film about Faber. Shortly after he replied: "Are you crazy?". And he didn't show up for weeks".

His interpretation, however, has now also won the resistance of the most perplexed among the fans.

In the end, I thought that the best thing was to create my own Fabrizio De André, who was not the real De André, but a character like many others. This gave me a little more peace of mind, I started working as I have always done, with the same commitment and seriousness, gathering all possible information: a thought came out of it, my idea of De André.

An idea of De André who sings and plays his songs in a convincing way.

And for this I will always thank Dori, who held my hand even when I wanted to be anywhere except in a recording studio. And with her Luvi (daughter of Fabrizio De André and Dori Ghezzi), together with all the musicians: I will never forget the night we recorded the ‘Canzone dell’amore perduto’: we got there and they ripped something out of me, that was the second gift of this film.

You said you felt like a fish out of water even on the set of the TV series Trust, about the kidnapping of John Paul Getty III (on Sky Atlantic this spring). 

It’s true, but thanks to this “American” project, paradoxically, I discovered Calabria: I play Primo, the knot of connection between Rome and the kidnappers, between the capital and Calabria. I had never been to its mountains, I knew little about the people and the places.

La solitudine dei numeri primi,Tutti i santi giorni, La grande bellezza, Non essere cattivo and Lo chiamavano Jeeg Robot: you have already been defined the most promising of the young Italian actors, what are you doing? Are you trying to climb Hollywood now? 

Never say never. But for now I'm fine in Europe.

When did you decide to become an actor?

When I was a child. My father is a voice actor, he has given voice to many actors, from John Goodman to Gene Wilder, but he has always regretted not having studied acting. Perhaps this is why I decided to enroll in the National Academy of Dramatic Art, thinking that, if I hadn't been successful, I could always do something else. In addition, my grandmother is a lover of Italian cinema, I saw all the classics with her, from Ladri di biciclette to I soliti ignoti: looking at them I never thought it was a profession, it seemed to me that the actors were having too much fun.

And the theater?

I miss it a lot, but I don't have time at the moment. I miss the constant jolts of adrenaline: you can't go wrong there and if it happens you have to improvise. On the set, everything can be redone.

You worked in Germany and live in Berlin. What's it like to act in another language?

I had a role in ‘A dangerous fortune’, a television movie based on a novel by Ken Follett, in which I acted in German. They were happy and didn’t want to dub me. I love working in Germany, and I love Berlin, where I have chosen to live. The Germans are efficient, precise, thanks to them I have learned to be more disciplined.

What else have you learned in your short and intense career?

To not take it badly if I don't get a role. There is always a reason, the important thing is to continue to be curious.

Gioia - Febbraio 2018

Just wanted to translate this old interview for the non-italian’s fans ^^ (sorry for my English)  

[qqueenofhades]

Having just sent you a message the other day about how much I love your historical asks, I realized I have a question myself that you might know the answer to. I’m a Christian and I have never been able to figure out why Christianity has historically viewed non-procreative sex for pleasure as bad. (And none of my family, including my clergy father, have figured it out either. I think my dad has a bone to pick with Augustine? And I feel like Aquinas also has something to do with this.) But given that Jesus had a body and gives a speech about “the Son of Man came eating and drinking” as though he enjoyed it, how did this whole “the body is sinful especially the sex part” thing happen? I have been thinking about this a lot recently for Old Guard reasons, which should surprise no one.

Oof. So, a short and simple question, then. (Sidenote: did they expand ask limits? Because I’ve definitely gotten a couple asks today, including this one, that are longer than usual, rather than forced to space out and hope that Tumblr doesn’t eat them.)

The entire history of sexuality in the West and its relationship with Christianity throughout the centuries is obviously a topic that far, far exceeds anything I could possibly cram into this ask, but let’s see if I can hit on some of the highlights. First off, one could remark that some aspects of Jesus’s teaching managed to disappear from the official doctrine of Christianity almost immediately, and for a variety of theological, cultural, and social reasons. As anyone who has a passing knowledge of the late Roman Empire is aware, they were known for being sexually liberate (at least if you were a nobleman, as the freedom certainly did NOT apply to women), and the notorious run of emperors who were having orgies and sleeping with boys and their sisters and hosting nonstop sex parties did a lot to sour early Christianity’s relationship with it. Because pre-Constantine/Theodosian Code Rome was Christianity’s enemy (since Christians refused to perform the traditional civic sacrifices to the Roman gods, which was all that Rome required alongside permitting its citizens to practice whatever other religion they wanted), and because the emperors were such a high-profile example of sexual excess, that became an easy point of critique. Obviously, the Roman polemicists, like every other historian, should not be trusted on EVERYTHING they say about the emperors, but the general pattern is there and well-established. So Christianity, trying to establish its religious and moral bona fides, can easily go, “Well, Caligula/Nero obviously sucks, come join us and live a purer and more moral life!”

Constantine converted in the early fourth century and the Theodosian Code was issued at the end of the fourth century, which made Rome officially Catholic and represented a huge reversal of fortune for fledgling Christianity, helping it expand like crazy now that it was officially sanctioned. However, the Roman Empire was splitting into two halves, west and east, and the development of Greek Christianity in the eastern empire was strongly influenced by ascetic and austere traditions (if you’ve heard of the Stylites, i.e. the guys who liked to sit atop poles out in the Syrian desert to prove how holy they were, those are them). The cultural context of denial of the flesh and the renouncing of bodily pleasures also played intensely into the third/fourth/fifth century debates over heresy and orthodoxy. Some of the most vicious arguments came over whether Jesus Christ could have actually had an embodied (and therefore possibly inherently sinful) human body, or it was just a complicated illusion, the “shell” of a body that his entirely divine nature then inhabited without actually being part of. This involved huge theological arguments over the redemptive nature of the Eucharist and even Christ’s sacrifice: was it real/effective/genuine if he didn’t REALLY die and suffer the pain of being crucified, and was just assured that he’d be fine ahead of time? So yeah, the question of whether Christ had a real body (because then that might be sinful) was the knock-down, drag-out theological disagreement of the early centuries C.E., and left a lot of hard feelings and entrenched positions in its wake.

Likewise, your dad is correct in having a bone to pick with Augustine, at least in terms of his impact on views of sexuality in the late antique and early medieval Christian church. Augustine is obviously famous for agonizing endlessly over his sexuality/sexual urges in Confessions, his time as a Manichaean, his relationship with a woman and the birth of his son out of wedlock (and if you want a lot of repressed homoeroticism: well, Augustine’s got that too) and how his conversion to Christianity was intensely tied with his renunciation of himself as a sexual being. Augustine also pioneered the nature of the inheritance of Original Sin: therefore, every human who was born was sinful by virtue of sharing in humanity’s legacy from Eve’s transgression in the Garden of Eden. (And yes, obviously, this led to the beginnings of the embedding of clerical and social misogyny. Oh Augustine, I kind of hate you anyway because I had to read the entire goddamn 1000-page City of God during my master’s degree, but bro, you got a lot to answer for.) This involved EVEN MORE obscure speculations about whether original sin was passed down in male semen, and therefore Jesus was free of it because he was supposedly born divinely to a woman without a male father, but yeah, the idea that sexuality itself was already a suspect thing was fairly well correlated and then cemented by Augustine’s HUGE influence over the early church. Everything post-Augustine incorporated his ideas somehow, and so the idea of bodily pleasures as separating you from divine purpose got even more established.

Then we had the Carolingians in the eighth and ninth centuries, who were the first “empire” per se in Western Europe post-Rome, and who were also intensely concerned with legislating moral purity, policing the sexual behavior especially of its queens, and correlating moments of political or military defeat with insufficiently virtuous private behavior. The Carolingians likewise passed these ideas onto their successor kingdoms, especially the medieval kingdom of France (which would eventually become the pre-eminent secular power in Western Europe). Then the eleventh century arrived with the Cluniac and Gregorian Reforms (which were interrelated). One of their big goals was for a celibate and unmarried clergy on all levels of holy orders, from humble village priests to bishops and archbishops. Prior to this, clergymen had often been married, and there wasn’t a definite sense that it was bad. But because of this, and the idea that a married clergyman wasn’t pure enough to provide the Eucharist and would be distracted from his commitment to the church by a wife and family, the Cluniac and papal reformers intensely attacked sex and sexuality as evil. Priests didn’t (or rather, were not supposed to) do it, and if you weren’t in a heterosexual church-performed marriage and didn’t want children, you shouldn’t be doing it either. (Did this stop people, and priests, from doing it? Absolutely not, but that was the rhetoric.) This was about when celibacy began to be constructed as the top of the heap in terms of holy lifestyles, for men and women alike and laypeople as well as those in holy orders. NOT having sex was the most virtuous choice for anyone, even if sex was a necessary evil for having heirs and the next generation and so on. (Which is interesting considering that our hypersexualized present attaches so much value to having sex of one sort or another, and the asexual-exclusion types, but yeah, that’s a different topic for now.)

Of course, when the Cathars (a schismatic Catholic heresy in France and Italy) in the twelfth and thirteenth centuries began attacking ALL materiality and sexuality as irredeemably evil, the Catholic church went a bit like “whoa whoa that’s a little too far, hold on now, SOME sex is good, sex can be nice, we’re not actually like those guys” (even though they had been about a hundred years before). Because Cathar spirituality taught that any kind of attention or indulgence to the body was sinful, that included any kind of sex at all, even married heterosexual intercourse. (Of course, the Cathars themselves didn’t always live up to it either; see Beatrice de Planissoles and her Cathar priest lover.) The Catholic church obviously didn’t want to go THAT far, so they began rowing back some of their earlier blanket statements about the evilness of sexuality and taught that husband and wife both had a responsibility to offer each other sexual pleasure and fulfillment. I’ve answered many asks about sexual behavior and unions in the medieval era, the arguments over the definition of marriage, and how that changed over time in response to social needs and pressures, so yes. We know what the IDEALS were, and what people were legally supposed to do, but the fact that church writers were complaining about bad behavior, sexual and otherwise, literally the whole time means that, obviously, this did not always match up with reality.

The theories of the Roman physician Galen, which prescribed that female orgasm was necessary to conceive, were also well known and prevalent in the medieval world, which meant that ordinary married couples trying to have children would have had some awareness that female pleasure was supposedly necessary to do it. (This ties into my “it wasn’t an unrestrained extravaganza of violent painful rape for women all the time YOU GODDAMN MORONS JESUS CHRIST” rant, but we will recognize that I have Many Rants. So yes.) Obviously, we can’t know what the sex life of individual married couples behind closed doors was actually like, but there were a variety of teachings and official stances on sex and how it was supposed to be done, and as noted in other posts, just because the church thought it is zero guarantee that ordinary people thought that way too. People are people. They (usually) like having sex. They had sex, both gay and straight, married and unmarried, so on and so forth, even if the church had Opinions. Circle of life, etcetera.

Anyway, then the Renaissance arrived (and we just had the “why the Renaissance sucked for women” ask the other day), which prescribed a reversal of all the comparative sexual and political and social latitude that women had gradually acquired over the medieval era. It very much wanted to see women returned to their silent, domestic, maternal, objet d’arte roles that they had occupied in antiquity, and attacked the actions of women in their public and private lives as one of the major causes of the crises of the late medieval era. (Because you know, misogyny is always a useful scapegoat rather than blaming the powerful men who have fucked everything up, as we’re seeing again right now.) Because the Renaissance is regarded, fairly or unfairly, as the start of the early modern Western world, it’s where a lot of modern gender attitudes and views of sexuality became more explicitly codified and distributed faster than at any point in history before, to a more extensive audience, thanks to the invention of the printing press. We’ve obviously had moves toward sexual liberation and agency in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries, and the emergence of the modern feminist and gay rights movements, but now in some ways, we’re back in oddly Puritan attitudes in the twenty-first century. And since America was founded by Puritans, their social attitudes are still embedded in the culture, fanned today by hyper-conservative Protestant evangelicalism. Even though Puritans themselves ALSO, shock surprise, didn’t always live up to the stringent standards they preached.

...whoof. I’m sure I’m forgetting something, but hopefully that gives you the broad-strokes development.

[delta-roseblr]

Lol, all the new info about the solangelo and delix kids made me want to have a fic just about them. So I was wondering if that would be possible? xD

Hello, Anon!

I know it has been forever since you sent this prompt, but it wasn't forgotten!

I hope this is worth the wait

_____________________________________________________

The Kids

· Because Solangelo and Delix both set down in California, Solangelo in New Rome and Delix stays in Northern California; they see each other a lot, as do their kids.

· The fact that Michael and Lee (Nico and Will's twins) and Mason (Felix and Dean's son) are a little more than a year apart just added to their drive to get together as a family. The kids could entertain each other, and they always got along well. The twins were challenging to entertain when they were little, so this is a big deal.

· Will and Dean always figured the three of them would always get along because, well, that was how they were, but Nico and Felix had their doubts. They figured that as the three got older and if (when) the twins started showing their demigod powers that they would drift.

· Nico and Felix turned out to be completely wrong, and the three just got closer as they got older.

· You would think, since Mason is the oldest of the three, he would take on the leadership role in the group, but that isn't how it works out. Mason is a pretty even-keeled kid. He definitely got Dean's tendency to want to put his head down and do his work. He can and does take the leadership role during team things like sports but not when the twins are involved.

· The twins are a damn handful from the moment they are born, and they never really change. Both of them are outgoing in their own ways. Lee is more competitive and will jump at the opportunity to take on a challenge, while Michael is more social- he can (and will) start a conversation with pretty much anyone he meets. The two are also a perfect storm of trouble because Michael will come up with an idea like they should buy fake ids and sneak into a club, and Lee will view it as a challenge, so he wants to do it, and they will absolutely find a way to talk Mason into joining them. Mason definitely tries his hardest to keep them out of trouble and manages to be at least somewhat successful sixty-five percent of the time.

· The twins love showing up at Mason's mortal school events, so even though they do not go there, most of Mason's classmates recognize them. They are also pretty much honorary members of Mason's lacrosse team. While Mason gives them shit for being menaces, he really likes when they show up, it definitely stops things from getting boring.

· Mason visits New Roman as well, even though not as much because going to New Roman can be a process as a mortal going to New Roman. Still, he has teamed up with the twins and a few of the other children of the seven around their age to case a little harmless trouble on the weekend.

· Btw, Dean has had several conversations with a teenage Mason about precisely what to do if he finds himself being hit on by a horny god (with very specific things to say to Apollo or Dionysus). Mason considers these the most embarrassing conversations he has ever had with his days. It's bad enough that his middle-aged dads still act like teenagers half the time and CAN'T keep their hands off each other. He doesn't want to hear about how Greek gods had tried to bone them back in the day. Grandpa Solace jumping in with "Just remember, Apollo isn't nearly as good in bed as he claims, and you can take my word for it" doesn't help with the awkwardness. He would rather have to go through the birds and bees talk a million times over.

· All three of these boys are NOT STRAIGHT. Michael is gay, while both Lee and Mason are bisexual. It's hard to say that Michael or Lee "came out" because it happened so organically. There was no sit everyone down and tell them moment. Instead, it was just "I LIKE like that boy" or "that boy is really cute" when they were like twelve. Mason takes FOREVER to admit this to himself and even longer to admit it to anyone else. Michael and Lee KNOW way before Mason admits to anything, and neither of them lets him hid from it. Lee tries the comforting approach hoping Mason will admit it while Michael goes more the exposure therapy route- he'll point out cute guys and ask what Mason thinks. He tricked Mason into going to a few gay events without Mason knowing until it was too late to back out.

· FYI, Mason comes out to Lee first, but only because they get into a fight because Lee is flirting with a boy; Mason secretly has a massive crush on (or at least he thinks it's a secret, but everyone can tell). Michael is solidly pissed about this for months, but that doesn't stop him from trying to play matchmaker.

Dribble:

The rain had stopped, and Mason supposed he should have been happy about that, but the lingering sense of tension and danger made it hard to appreciate. He, Michael, and Lee had already walked one block north of Gypsy Bar, and Mason was hoping as they put even more distance between themselves and the bar that sense of unease would dissipate at least a little.

They had been walking in silence for several minutes. That was a rare thing, and Mason hoped it meant that it was one of those rare occasions that his cousins were thinking about how horrible their idea had been, but Lee killed that hope the moment he opened his mouth.

"Well, we had to try," Lee declared.

Mason looked over and up because, of course, Lee was at least three inches taller than him. That would have been more annoying if Mason was at all insecure about his height, but at six foot he was comfortable. Also, he had a couple of inches on Michael, which helped.

Lee's hair looked practically white instead of its usual light blonde under the street lights' harsh glare, and his complexion seemed extra fair. Even his freckles were lost in the artificial light. Not surprisingly, there wasn't a single sign of worry on his face.

Maybe if Mason had Greek god powers, he would have been relaxed too, but he didn't. That call for adventure that Lee and Michael had just seemed like asking for trouble to Mason, the mere mortal. "Not with the worse fake IDs in history," Mason pointed out yet again.

"They were not that bad!" Michael was quick to defend.

This was not the first time Mason had heard that, and it didn't make it any less ridiculous. One of Michael and Lee's dads was literally a doctor that could heal people by touching them. There was no fucking excuse for their inability to see what was right in front of them. Why Michael had even bought the IDs, having seen them, Mason would never understand.

"They looked like they were hand-drawn by a preschool," Mason pointed out, "And the names were ridiculous."

"Pictures didn't look much like us," Lee agreed.

Michael let out a long, loud sigh, pushed a dark strand of hair that had fallen out of his ponytail and into his eye line, and tucked it behind his ear. While Lee looked like the stereotypical California surfer dude, Michael almost looked Mediterranean. He had light brown hair that he had grown out over the last year and now almost exclusively wore tied up, and he naturally had a more tan, almost olive complexion. Even with the differences, it was impossible not to recognize the two as twins immediately. They both had the same sharp facial features, lean and athletic builds, and light blue eyes.

Mason was the obvious odd man out in the group. His hair was somewhere between a light brown and a dark blonde, and his eyes were hazel rather than blue. His build was boxier, and he was definitely wider in the shoulders than his cousins, but that might have been because he had been playing lacrosse since he was eight. His facial features were also a little more square and angular. It might not have been a stretch to believe the three of them were related, but no one was going to mistake them for triplets.

"Okay, that is enough with the pouting," Michael declared with just a little bit of annoyance in his voice. Mason was a little surprised it had taken that long because usually, the more outrageous and destined to fail one of Michael's plans were, the more annoyed he got when it did, in fact, fail. "At least we got a fun story out of it," he stated.

Knowing Michael, he really did see that as a win which was crazy. Mason fucking loved his cousins. They were literally his best friends and really always had been, but sometimes they were crazy to be around. Mason put that on all the demigod stuff. After all, if you have literally trained to fight monsters since you were a little kid getting fake IDs and trying to sneak into a twenty-one and over club probably didn't sound all that crazy.

Mason wasn't exactly a fucking nun. Sneaking into a bar didn't sound completely crazy but trying to get into a bar known for checking IDs with comically bad fake IDs did.

"We are lucky they didn't call the police," Mason pointed out flatly. The bouncer had decided to take pity on them for some reason after giving them one hell of a fucking lecture, and Mason would forever be grateful. "Or worse, our parents," he added with a shutter.

"What are you worried about?" Lee asked with a laugh, "Uncle Dean and Uncle Felix would have been totally cool."

Mason gave Lee a serious look. "Nothing about my parents is cool," he stated firmly, "No matter how many people say otherwise."

"You really are a master of denial," Lee commented teasingly before patting his shoulder and adding, "It's kind of impressive."

The fact was Mason was well aware that his dads were pretty cool. If they had been called and told Mason had been caught with a fake ID trying to sneak into a bar, they probably wouldn't have even yelled at him. Neither of them were big yellers. Mason would have gotten one hell of a disapproving lecture which Mason was convinced was worse than yelling ever could be. He definitely would have lost a whole bunch of privileges for the foreseeable future.

Unfortunately, Mason had been hearing about how cool his dads were since he could remember. The fact that Felix getting early releases of video games all the time helped. Dean always bringing Mason and his friends for ice cream after practice when he was younger didn't hurt. As he got older, he just became the one with the cool parents in all his friend groups. It got old after a while, and that was before the term DILF started getting thrown around.

He would have been more annoyed if it was anyone besides Lee and Michael. They had it just as bad as he did, even if it was slightly different. Uncle Nico was practically a legion among Demigods for all the questing he did as a teenager, and even if he had just sat on his ass, he was still the son of Hades, which was a big thing. Uncle Will didn't have the history with all the questing, but he played an important role in some battle, which was enough to give him some fame. The twins had to deal with their fair share of people going full-on hero-worship over their dads, and then there was the fact that Uncle Nico had worked as a model for like five years.

Mason might not have been truly pissed off, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to flip Lee off for that comment. He did grin as he did it, at least so it was clear that it was all good.

They had walked about half a block as they had talked, and they made it about a block more in silence before Michael huffed. "So what are we going to do now?" he asked. Mason went to answer but barely got an opportunity to take a breath before Michael held up a finger to cut him off. "And the answer of going home is not allowed, so just don't even say it," he stated firmly.

Mason didn't get why going home, playing video games, ordering a pizza, and hanging out was such a bad idea. His dads were out on a date night, so they probably would have had the house to themselves, not that that mattered. According to Michael, that was just not an acceptable way for them to spend their evening, and in fairness, he had made that clear before then. That didn't mean that wasn't exactly what Mason had been prepared to suggest, but he wasn't really surprised that Michael warned him not to before he got a chance.

Mason stopped and looked around to get a feel for where they were. Since they were in West Berkeley, it was more his stomping ground rather than the twins. If it were New Rome, the twins would have a list of places they could go and things they could do, so he guessed it was on him to at least come up with one suggestion.

If he was honest, he only had a vague idea of where they were, and it wasn't a part of the city he visited often, so he didn't have the best idea of what was around. Ultimately, he went with the first thing that came to mind. "There is a really cool vintage bookstore like two blocks from here," he stated, pointing in the direction he thought it was.

It might have been the first thing he had thought of, but Mason didn't think it was a half-bad idea. He had been to the place a few times with Dean because Dean had a radar for little bookstores, and it didn't matter what they were doing or where they were supposed to be; he had to go in. It was such a well-known fact that Felix always looked up where bookstores were when they went on vacation so they could plan when they went. The little bookstore that Mason couldn't remember the name of had actually been pretty cool.

"You found an answer worse than go home," Michael commented flatly, "Why do you hurt me like this?"

Mason rolled his eyes because now Michael was just overdramatic. "They serve coffee and stuff," he informed.

"Coffee actually sounds pretty fucking good," Lee admitted, which was a good sign. Of the two, Michael always wanted to do something big and over-the-top. Lee could be like that sometimes, but he was more likely to see reason when Michael was just suggesting something crazy. Usually, if Mason could get Lee on his side, he had a chance. If Lee backed Michael's idea, then it was only a matter of time before Mason agreed to whatever insanity had been planned.

Michael stared between Mason and Lee with clear disapproval. "We can not go from trying to sneak into a 21 and over club to drinking coffee in a used bookstore," he stated with disgust before just shaking his head with disappointment, "Honestly, what is wrong with you two?"

"Okay," Lee declared, managing to sound just as unamused by Michael as Michael was with them. Lee was infinitely better at dealing with his brother when he was being dramatic than Mason was. "How about we go into that pizza place-" he pointed past Mason toward a small pizza place just across the street from where they were standing, "-and talk to the cute girls that are walking in."

"Well, that doesn't sound like fun for me!" Michael grumbled as he turned and assessed the option for a split second. "Oh, there is a couple of boys that could be cute! I don't hate that idea."

Mason gave in and turned to see what they were talking about and immediately wanted to crawl into a hole and die. "Oh my god, could you too stop staring," he hissed as he turned his back on the scene and hoped no one saw him.

They should have gone to New Rome.

Of course, both Michael and Lee were staring at him, and he knew they were going to ask. Neither of them was precisely known for letting things go either.

"What?" Mason shrugged, sounding more defensive than he meant to, "They are people from my school."

Michael and Lee exchanged a look that was never a good thing. It was one of those weird twin silent communication things they would do, and it usually meant they were about to tag team, Mason. It never worked out well.

"You know them?" Michael asked, although he managed to give the question far more weight than such a simple question should have had.

Lee was even less subtle as he stared at Mason with obvious suspicion, "How come we don't know them?"

Obviously, Michael and Lee didn't go to Mason's high school because they were in New Rome, but they hung around with Mason enough that they knew all of Mason's school friends and a fair number of his classmates. It wasn't necessarily weird that they didn't know someone that Mason knew from school, but it was a more rare occurrence. On this specific occasion, it actually made a lot of sense because they were people Mason only recently started getting to know.

"It looked like Theo and a few of the other kids from the theater club," Mason explained. Mason was not a theater kid. Even if he had wanted to be, he never would have had time with lacrosse and soccer. Since he was a junior and apparently would benefit from diversifying his afterschool activities (so saith his guidance counselor), he joined the AV club and somehow ended up helping with the school play, so he got to know some of the theater kids over the last few months. Not a big deal in the slightest. "And for the record, you two aren't entitled to know all my school friends," he pointed out just to prove a point.

Michael and Lee exchanged another look.

"Theo?" Lee questioned.

"Interesting," Michael commented.

Mason's heart jumped into his throat. Had he said that name? He hadn't meant to, but it must have just slipped out. He was absolutely fucked because the twins weren't going to let that go, and that was the last thing Mason needed. Theo was just a dude with great hair that made Mason feel weird sometimes, and he didn't want to talk about that.

Play it cool, Mason told himself through his internal panic. He shrugged, which felt like the most unnatural gesture ever. "He hangs out with a lot of the AV kids helping with the play," he explained. More accurately, he hung around many band kids helping with the play, and Mason had to adjust the audio equipment a fair amount. After talking a few times, Mason may have invited him to hang out with the AV kids, and the guy took him up on that. There was no fucking way he was telling Lee and Michael that story. "I've learned his name. It isn't a big deal," he stated. That at least was true, and no one would convince Mason otherwise.

Michael and Lee were silent for a long moment, just staring at him before Michael broke the silence. "You know what? Pizza sounds fantastic," He declared before turning on his heels and starting across the street. He was halfway across before he called over his shoulder, "And I love a good theater club. Always fun gays."

Lee patted Mason on the shoulder, which turned into him practically pushing Mason forward toward the pizza shop. "So, which one is Theo exactly," Lee asked in a mischievous tone.

Now Mason wished their wrong fake IDs had worked.

[blackpercy]

Roman Praetors during Jason and Reyna’s time as centurions (she rose quickly but there's like a reason for that, and Jason is the youngest centurion):

Titus: Octavian’s last older sibling, 19, the one he is closet in age to, cool fucking dude, just all around nice guy, what’s like the version of a church boy but for pagans bc that’s him with a little floppy hair and med student thrown in there. [Note: Not all of Octavian’s siblings had been praetor that’s crazy only like 3 of them have been praetor they all have their own backstory its intense] 

Fatima Al Bashir: Legacy of Venus, 19, Daughter of the one of the oldest continuous family lines which stems from Syria, bubble pageant (blood pageant?) girl secretly hurting inside for a lot of teen angst reasons, kind of cold but easily hides it through some backwards ass politician bullshit her parents taught her about always having to look and be perfect. Has been stuck in a weird love triangle mess with Titus and Dominic since they were like 15

Dominic: Unclaimed, 19, from a disgraced family in New Rome which not as old and established as Fatima’s and Titus’, would be a black sheep if he wasn’t so goddamn charming, all three grew up together and were in the same cohort master swordsman, master politician, childish theories of empire and revenge, doesn’t like Jason, scared of Octavian

listen its a healer/magic user/fighter combo

[stoll-mydam-heart]

Snow Angels

Jeyna oneshot repost from my insta but someone wanted me to post it here too so I hope you enjoy, loves <3

Reyna had never seen the snow. She’d seen pictures and movies and had the idea of what it would be like, but had never experienced it first hand. From her time with Lupa, the small hope that she’d be able to go explore the mountains with the pack had been trampled, and then, she’d found her way to New Rome. It was a long, grueling process but now she sat alongside Jason Grace in the senate room, their meeting having just been adjourned, teens in togas filing out, trying their best not to trip.

Octavian stepped up to her and she had to refrain from rolling her eyes.

“Reyna-”

“Praetor,” she interrupted, relishing in the way he ground his teeth, obviously biting back a remark.

“Praetor, I hope you realize the mistake you're making by not addressing the issue. We were sent a bad omen by the Gods, it’s not something to ignore.”

“I wasn’t disagreeing that this is something we need to pay attention to, I’m just saying that the plans you want to implement are unrealistic. In case you’ve forgotten Jason and I are the praetors placed in charge by the people to make the best decisions that would benefit all of Rome, not you. We just received this news and it’s best not to make any rash decisions. Have you forgotten your role as augur?”

“I’m aware of my role but-”

“Then are you questioning my leadership?” Her patience was waning and she not so subtly started stroking aurum 

“Not necessarily,” he said, eyeing the dog,  “ I just don’t think you understand the gravity-”

“This is not information we will take lightly but things take time. Thank you for your input but the meeting was adjourned, you’ve been dismissed.” Her tone was clear, she wanted him to leave and from the look on his face he understood, yet he persisted.

“But-”

“Dismissed.” Octavian's eyes closed, fists tightly clenched at his sides, the thin papery white of his skin stretched over his knuckles as he took a deep breath.

“Yes, Praetor.” He turned on his heel and stiffly walked out of the building, leaving the two praetors alone.

“Gods he’s such an ass.”

Despite her frustration, she couldn’t help the short laugh that bubbled from her chest as she looked towards the blonde-haired son of Jupiter. His electric blue eyes stared back at her with admiration.

“Seriously, I would’ve just zapped him.”

She sighed, standing up with him following. “It takes more willpower than I think I’m capable of every time,” she admitted, seeing the smile that lit up his face from the corner of her eye as they walked out.

The wind hit her bare arms and goosebumps prickled over her skin. It was the last day of November, the new month bringing a temperature change. They walked back to their barracks, changing into their regular clothes, and went to sit on the hill, overlooking all of camp, the sun setting in the distance, basking everything in a seemingly warm glow despite the bitter wind.

“You know, I think we’ve done a pretty good job,” Jason said, tearing his gaze away from the people running around and going through their training regime.

“Hmm?”

“I mean running this place. I mean, we’re 16 and we’re running an entire legion, Rey. That counts for something.” She entertained the thought. Would people see her leadership skills as strong for running the legion as the age she was, or as weak, and immature? People respected her, that was obvious in itself, but she knew people talked, and she wondered what exactly was said behind closed doors.

“I suppose it does,” she finally relented. They sat in comfortable silence until a stronger wind picked up and she shivered. Jason laughed and handed her his jacket, a thing he often did when she was cold which she gratefully wrapped around her shoulders.

“You never were a cold weather person.”

“I’ve never really been in cold weather,” she said a little wistfully. He heard it.

“Do you want to?”

A beat of silence, then, “Yeah, sometimes.” Her head turned towards the mountains far off to the northeast. “I’ve always wanted to see the snow,” she admitted turning back to the sun which had almost been completely swallowed by the horizon.

She had expected Jason to respond, but when she looked at him, his eyebrows were scrunched and he looked lost in a train of thought. In the distance, a horn blew signaling the start of dinner as Jason snapped out of his reverie.

“What were you thinking?”

A small smile made its way to his face as he shook his head and raced down to the pavilion.

Dinner and war games were as usual and everyone went to bed at a normal time. As she lay in bed, waiting for the beginning of the next day, she thought back to her time on the hill and wished that she was in the mountains, without having to worry about holding the legion together, just playing in the snow. 

…………………………………….

The morning she woke up it was abnormally cold. Much colder than she ever remembered it being. Her eyes found the window and she gasped.

Outside, light gray clouds surrounded the camp, a light powdery layer of white resting on the grass as more flakes fell from the sky. It was snowing. A strange child-like wonder filled her as she quickly got changed and practically trampled Jason as she ran outside.

“Woah, I’ve never seen you like this, someone’s excited,” he laughed, holding her shoulders to keep her stable as she regained her balance and composure.

“Jay-how? Did you do this?”

He laughed, “I’m honestly not sure. I couldn’t summon something this big, let alone hold it.”

“Then how? It doesn’t snow in California.” 

“Well, I-” a faint pink, tinted his cheeks, deepening when he looked at her. “I prayed to my dad last night. I don’t know if it’s him since the Gods rarely answer but…” he trailed off, biting his lip in embarrassment.

“Jason this is… incredible. Thank you.”

“Yeah well, that’s assuming this was even me.” He held her gaze a moment longer, looking away to the newly arising campers who were staring at the sky in awe. It was almost time for breakfast, but she could already tell she was going to have trouble keeping everyone's attention today.

At breakfast that morning, the entire space buzzed and you could feel the excitement in the air. Reyna took her space at the front, raising a hand to get everyone’s attention, working for the most part, save for a few stray voices to which she shot pointed looks.

“Romans, as you can see today is… a bit of a welcome surprise and in lieu of this,” she paused, eyes scanning the crowd building up some suspense. “We will be taking a day off of our daily training regimens-” cheers burst through everyone's mouths with excited shouts, squeals, and giggles. She knew it wasn’t going to be possible to gain their attention again but she shouted above and it became almost quiet once again, though the excitement in the air was tangible.

“And, If the snow continues, tonight's war games will be snowball fights.” More cheers erupted and she sat back down turning to Jason who was grinning at her like a madman. Octavian from the side looked like he was about to protest but one look from her quickly shut him up and he stalked away.

For the first time in a while, Reyna had fun. In the city, kids were running around the blocks and streets staring to the sky, tongues out in hope of catching snowflakes. Shop owners were handing out hot chocolate and inviting people inside, overall everyone in a happy mood.

Jason however, had made it his mission to make sure she did everything she possibly could. Running back and forth between buildings, dodging each other's snowballs, laying in the thickening powdery layers on the ground, and making as many snow angels as they possibly could leaving imprints all over the ground. Makeshift sleds were constructed out of old plastic and tarps, taking turns pushing each other down the hills.

More than a few times, the sleds tipped over sending kids sliding and sprawled out on the ground but no one minded, getting right back up again to the top.

“You just gonna stay up there all day Ramírez?” Jason teased from down the hill. The use of her last name sent a spark through her body with renewed ambition.

She hopped inside and with a graceful push, was off sliding down and Jason cheered. The wind whipped at her face but she couldn’t have cared less. Everything about today had made her feel like she was a little kid, delighting in the little things without the stress of a legion on hers and Jasons’ backs. She realized a moment later that she was tipping and apparently Jason had noticed too as he held out his arms, bracing for the impact as she was headed directly towards him.

With a yelp, they crashed into each other, tumbling further down until they came to a mostly flat area, Reyna holding herself above Jason. A full-hearted, happy laugh escaped her lips and it was amazing, but it got caught in the back of her throat when she saw the look Jason was giving her.

The atmosphere between the two rapidly changed growing thick with tension, both their eyelids fluttering as they came forward at the same time, their lips meeting in a soft, gentle kiss. Her senses went crazy, acknowledging any and everything around her, especially the feel of his soft lips against hers until they pulled away.

Despite herself, she blushed, looking around to see who was around. Luckily, the area was pretty scarce people wise, the few that were out not even looking in their direction.

“What? Embarrassed to get caught kissing me?” his tone teasing.

“No, no it’s not that it’s just-” he cut her off with a laugh, gently rolling her off so they could stand up.

“I get it.” She nodded gratefully, them staring at each other a little longer than necessary. Once again, the dinner horn sounded in the distance, breaking their gazes but it wasn’t awkward, more content. The dinner that night was just as energy-filled as the meals before, the war games that night being an intense snowball fight. Snow was flying mercilessly to the opposing cohorts in something like capture the flag, though their only weapons were the chunks they managed to form out of the ground.

Unsurprisingly, the First Cohort won, though the defeated teams didn’t seem as bothered as usual. That night, Jason kissed her before she went to bed and she felt happy like there was something she was genuinely looking forward to in the morning.

When she woke up, remnants of the day before had been wiped away as if it had never happened, but she was still in a more buoyant mood than usual. As she walked out the door that morning, something felt off, and it wasn’t just that Jason wasn’t there to greet her. Something was wrong. She ran to Jason's barracks and burst in with a frantic look in her eyes scaring some of the campers who had never seen their leader so disorderly.

The first thing she noticed, Jason's bunk was empty, the second, everyone was looking at her nervously, and it was by the expressions on their faces her fears were confirmed.

Jason was gone.

[justawriterwholikeslotsofshit]

So like Estelle Blofis everyone. Just been thinking about her lately.

So we know how Percy feels about the gods and how they make their children fight their battles and how neither he nor annabeth nor any of their friends had any choice when it came to what happened to them. They sacrificed so much fighting wars for the gods, for parents that never loved them. Percy never went looking for trouble, trouble found him. This is something I’ve always felt is so great about Rick’s stories, the heroes aren’t fighting the battles because they want to but because they have to. I know this seems like a standard thing in all stories but it’s different in PJO, these kids are bound by fate to do this. Percy’s mother was being held hostage in the underworld, his friend’s lives were in danger. Percy was never in this to save the world he was in this for his friends and his friends alone, his loyalty his fatal flaw.

My idea for Estelle is to spin this all on its head. Where Percy never went looking for trouble, his life was crazy due to no fault of his own, I think Estelle might go looking for trouble or adventure at least. Thinking about how Estelle will probably be raised in a great home with amazing parents and a super cool brother and sister in law(yes sister in law, we all know percabeth is probably getting married before Estelle’s makes it to double digits) I’ve just been wondering what her struggles might be and I’ve come to a few conclusions.

1. So she’s definitely going to feel like she’s very boring compared to her older brother, like she knows she’s lucky, she knows what happened to her brother and Annabeth is horrible and normal kids shouldn’t have to live through that but at the same time she can’t help but wonder what it would be like if she was a demigod, if she had cool powers, if she was off saving the world making life long friendships.

2. I don’t think estelle is going to have the easiest time making friends, or she’ll have friends but she’ll always feel like her friendships pale in comparison to Percy’s. One thing I think Estelle will no doubt inherit is Percy’s fierce loyalty, I think that’s just a Jackson trait. Estelle will go to bat for her friends but she often feels like they won’t do the same for her. Part of this comes from the fact that she feels like she can never be completely honest with anyone she meets, sure they can meet her awesome brother, they can meet all her surrogate aunts and uncles(nico, hazel, piper, Frank, Leo) but they can never really know them, she’ll feel like she has to keep this big secret.

Because of these two things it is my firm belief that Estelle Blofis will definitely go looking for trouble or adventures or just anything. This will include human stuff such as breaking curfew, or Pulling pranks, maybe getting a tattoo when mom and dad are out of town. And then she’ll look other places, for other trouble, Maybe not demigod trouble, probably not even Greek trouble, but I definitely think she’s going to be interested in the unseen world, which will no doubt piss Percy off he wants her as far away from that shit as possible. I think it’s easy to Headcanons that Estelle will be able to see through the mist like Rachel and her mom, a not so easy Headcanons might be that Estelle is a witch.

Okay hear me out. So witchcraft is very complicated there are lots of different types, lots of different ways it can be done, especially when looking at different cultures and different practices. I’m not specifying what type of witchcraft Estelle will partake in, I’m not saying it’s the Hazel witchcraft where she manipulated the most, I’m not saying it’s the Egyptian wizard stuff from Rick’s other series. But I definitely think witch Estelle would be very interesting.

She’d be in a coven obviously, forming strong bonds with her sister witches and I think her coven would likely be heavily involved in the human world. Think going to protests together, reading tarot cards to try to predict the fate of the world, casting protective charms over homeless shelters, stuff like that. Greek gods would be a topic of discussion in the coven, they’d know abo it demigods, they’d know about New Rome and Camp Half blood, they probably have dealings with them, aswell as the Amazons and the hunters of Artemis. So Estelle would find her people.

This is just an idea I have in my head. I may or may not have this storyline runni through my head where Estelle is a super powerful witch in this coven that originated from her highschool(yes goode highschool) and then they kind of have to save the world, but the gods are so worried that Percy’s going to be pissed when they find out that they send a demigod to keep watch over Estelle, a child of Hekate, the Roman version, a member of the Legion. And of course there’s a love story between the two, but that’s for a different day when I’m more bored out of my mind.

[planetofsillyhats]

(CW: General mid-antiquity misogyny)

Today is Transgender Day of Visibility, so I'm re-upping one of my short essays about one particular trans-woman particularly worthy of visibility: Ancient Rome's loopy god-queen, Elagabalus.

Elagabalus was the 25th Emperor of Rome--and also its first Empress. Born Sextus Varius Avitus Bassianus, she was by modern standards very obviously transgender, and would probably have been delighted to be addressed as Sexta Marcellina, her proper feminine name by Roman conventions.

She was raised in Syria, and was already the head of a major state religion: the worship of the solar deity El-Gabal, whose pedigree is entwined both with Christianity and with Islam. She ascended to the throne at the age of fourteen, succeeding the man who killed her cousin Caracalla and tried to rule in his place--because this was the tail end of the Severan Dynasty, and things were starting to go downhill for Rome. She did this by personally leading the final charge at the Battle of Antioch in 218 AD, actually helping to rout the usurper’s army and claiming Imperial honors for herself that very day. Picture that for a minute: a charging Roman legion led by a fourteen-year-old girl, then the same legion hoisting her on their shields and proclaiming her Imperator. The fact that everyone thought she was a little boy doesn’t really make it any less badass.

Unfortunately, this would be both the high point of her career, and the last time she’d ever have much real power. Once Marcellina settled down, she was little more than a puppet for her grandmother, Julia Maesa, who had tremendous ambition and, as a cisgender woman, no legitimate way of fulfilling it. This gave the Empress a whole lot of spare time to explore her identity--and while her strict henotheism ruffled feathers, and she may not have made many friends in high places for possibly inventing the whoopee cushion, what really made her unpopular was her sexuality.

Romans were a fairly enlightened bunch for the ancient world; they really didn’t care about race or religion one bit. If your faith didn’t involve infringing on the rights of others, they left you be---and the only religions they ever persecuted outright were the ones that involved human sacrifice (like the druids), theft (like certain Dionysian cults who supposedly ran around the countryside naked and slaughtered other people’s cattle), or sedition (like the Christians, who didn’t just refuse to pray to the deified Emperors, but wouldn’t even pray TO their own god FOR the living ones). Their only real social vices were their class issues--which were somewhat lessened by the fact that even the Senatorial elite were little more than a rubber stamp for the Emperor--and their staggering, galloping, ludicrous misogyny.

And when I call the Romans misogynistic, I don’t mean they were “just” sexist the way most modern Americans are, with our sometimes invisible biases and quietly nasty patriarchal worldview. I mean they really, flat-out, openly despised women and anything feminine. To illustrate the difference, Americans are homophobic partly because we have often unthinkingly sexist biases that make us see sex with a man as feminine and femininity in a man as bad. The Romans had the same attitude toward homosexuality, but they were so massively misogynistic that they went and romanticized certain types of gay relationships anyway, because keeping little boys as sex slaves at least proved you weren’t mooning away over--gag--a girl. And lesbianism was considered a form of frigidity; you weren’t really attracted to women, you were just being irrational and man-hating, which could be cured by sufficiently vigorous rape.

This was not a good environment for a teenaged transgirl with unlimited executive power, is what I’m getting at.

One of the things that I think people don't think about enough with regards to the ancient world and its cast of Great Men is how incredibly young a lot of these legendary characters are. Alexander the Great, for example, was... well, first off, he was basically Genghis Khan, but we root for him because he was a rich white guy. But more importantly, he was younger than me when he conquered Persia--which explains a lot about him, like the time he got really, really drunk in 330 BC and burned down Persepolis, probably resulting in a morning-after scene that looked like Cecil B. DeMille's The Hangover. All the the legendarily loony Roman Emperors were also twentysomethings at best--Caligula was the old man of the Bad Princeps Club at twenty-five, and his reign was less about real tyranny than sexual experimentation and snarky performance art. Nero was sixteen, and reading actual accounts of his reign, it very much shows--he was dramatic, emo and bratty, and desperate for attention and approval.

Marcellina was fourteen years old, trapped in a male body, and ruling a city-state where just wearing what would be considered normal men's wear back in Syria--colorful silks, some tasteful jewelry, and a practical bit of eyeliner to keep out the sun--got her ridiculed as a foppish, Oriental despot. But undeterred by legendary Roman normative biases, she took advantage of her Imperial prerogative to do what, to my knowledge, no other person in Western history had up to that point: live openly as a transwoman. She wore women's clothing, took male lovers, and famously offered huge sums of money to any doctor or wizard who could transition her. Of course, this was the Iron Age, so nobody took her up on it, and she still had protocols and traditions to follow--so she got married, tried to produce heirs, did all the usual Pater Familias stuff. But at some point, after the first year of her reign, she seems to have just given up and, like Caligula, entered a rather mean-spirited "just fucking with everyone" phase. She executed people, gave out cabinet positions to lovers, and didn't seem to care about actually ruling anymore.

Now, Romans were really, really nasty to people who didn't fit within their sexual norms--but they also used sexual deviancy as a form of slander in itself, so it's very hard to say just how much of the legend of Elagabalus the Crazy Syrian Drag Queen(tm) is really true. It's doubtful, for example, that she actually held a banquet at which several tons of flower petals were dumped from the rafters, smothering many guests. It's a safe bet, though, to say that she didn't take her marriage vows seriously at all, and seemed to enjoy taking the mickey out of Roman sexual mores. On one occasion, she married a virgin priestess of Vesta, left her for the wife of a man she'd had executed, and then dumped her to go back to the vestal virgin--who she may have married just for the sake of a joke about siring divine children. She went through five wives over the four years she reigned--but the whole time, her true love and only real companion seems to have been her chauffeur, Hierocles, who in my mind's eye is always portrayed by Darren Criss. She wasn't allowed to marry him--there are some things even an Emperor can't do--nor was she allowed to make him her co-ruler. But she did stick with him, and it looks to me to have been genuine teenage puppy love--just about the only thing in her life that was just right.

Now, isn't this just a little bit first-world-problemy? What can really go wrong if you're the ruler of all Western civilization? Well, if you recall, I said that Sexta reigned for only four years--in 222 CE, she and her mother were murdered by their own elite bodyguards, her kid brother Alexander was installed as the new Emperor, and the Romans set about trying their darnedest to erase her from history, or at least paint her as the worst thing since the RIAA. Does her reputation as the worst ruler Rome ever saw hold water? Not really. Could she have been better? Maybe--but so could Rome.

[sunnixsunshine]

Here are Vargas boys! Next are the Germanic boys + Hungary! :)

I decided keep 2p!Rome almost similar to the popular 2p!Rome because it just fit so well! Only difference is he isn't AS brutal all the time. He can be a civil person. I wanted to be sneaky with his name so I chose "Romulus" as one of his cognomen since it wasn't unheard of for a Roman to have more than one anyway(however 2 is max that I've seen so far). It's pretty common that once someone earns their cognomen to then be referred to as it over their praenomen— basically meaning 2p!Rome is still referred to as Romulus just like his 1p. 2p!Veneziano seems very similar to his 1p counterpart on the outside but that is not the case when you get to know him! Romano is still pretty similar to the popular rendition of 2p!Romano personality wise however he isn't as fashion crazy. Seborga, instead of being influenced by his brothers the most, he was influenced by France due to how close their boarders are. And yes, he is a natural blond. Romano is not. I’ve always headcanoned Seborga’s human name to be Romeo and so a Romeo and Juliet style name felt right to give him as a bit of a reference I suppose.

Their bios under the cut!

• 2p!Veneziano Italy

Lorenzo Vargas(homage to statesman Lorenzo de Medici); Lolo, Lori, and Lo are all the nicknames he allows Romano to call him(to an extent), aside from the commonly used Vene.

He's very stubborn when it comes to wanting to win at something. Everything he sees is a challenge to him. He's a very sore loser however. Some say it's because of how his grandfather often spoiled him. Others describe him to have a car salesman attitude— especially when after WW2 he took up to buying and then reselling vespas in his free time. All business, no play. His overly optimistic attitude is mostly for show. And he's a very forward person too. He's trained himself to have an inviting and charming smile in order to get what he wants, either a material possession or task. He's so serious most jokes/puns go over his head and metaphors sound like misinformed facts to him. Veneziano also takes everything as if it were official business. He often holds grudges and refuses to say sorry if he happens to be in the wrong. His anger isn't bad, but it is often compared to a rabid poodle.

• 2p!Romano Italy

Corrado Vargas(homage to Rococo painter Corrado Giaquinto); Veneziano calls him CC while others call him Coco as a reference to his favorite style(Rococo).

An occasionally over protective, doting older brother to Veneziano. Although he often claims and brags about being his grandpa Rome's favorite grandson— despite his grandfather clearly playing favorites with Veneziano— and looking the most like him as well, he very rarely expresses how much he actually misses him; it leads others to believe he's only proud of the inheritance. He likes fashion and all things designer— however he's very picky with what he wears as he doesn't want to get it ruined, which sometimes leads him to neglecting his most expensive clothing and it leaves him to wear his less expensive items over and over again. He's polite and very nice to his brothers, tourists, but not so much strangers. He used to bleach his hair blond very frequently(over time his hair returned to its brown color just lighter; some weird nation thing perhaps?) in the 1950s and 70s, but as time went on he grew tired of it and began redying his hair brown. The dye doesn't take too well to his hair so it washes out easily and ends up giving him a honey brown color opposed to the golden bronze he naturally used to have. He prides himself in his clean and orderly antique room and bedroom.

• 2p!Seborga

Benvolio Vargas(reference to Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet character Benvolio); His brothers affectionately call him Ben or Benny.

Basically a typical modern teenager nowadays. Back when he first declared his independence he was very bright and outgoing, mostly similar to Romano. No one is too sure what happened to happy little Benvolio, not even Romano or Veneziano. Monaco blames it on him being so close to France's border. Seborga tends to stay home in his own territory rather than visit his older brothers. He often sits at home and plays on his phone or other devices. Unbeknownst to his brothers, he actually wishes to spend more time with them. He claims independence but despite that he'd still like to be close to them. He just doesn't know how to tell them.

• 2p!Rome

Gaius Romulus Nero Vergilius(Or simply "Romulus"; homage to various Roman emperors and Rome founder)

Impulsive, obsessive, and very ruthless in battle. A very serious man who was always planning for some kind of war— "can't be too careful"— either it be in the near or distant future; although that doesn't mean he ever looked back on his plans as they mostly thought of without the emperor's or army's knowledge. He prided himself in his armies and his ability to maintain a civil society(considered one at that time) against those surrounding barbarians. If you can get him to laugh then that simply means he likes you and you were on his good side indefinitely. Although watch out if you ever make him angry. He will either hold a grudge or order for you to go straight to the Coliseum to fight for your freedom. He wasn't ever a fan of killing his own people, the Coliseum was always his solution for any Roman Citizen as they could easily fight for their freedom back. Outsiders, however, are another issue. Some weren't seen until they were already bone. He was always up for a spontaneous brawl. When his empire fell and yet he still thrived for several decades he began to grow his beard out in mourning for his once great empire, for which is how Veneziano remembers his grandfather as; a bearded man. Now whenever Rome appears Veneziano hardly recognizes him, not that he's even excited to see his favorite grandfather anyway. Romano, however, remembers grandpa with subtle stubble rather than the full facial rug. Nowadays, as he appears to the other nations, he's clean shaven and looks centuries younger than when he died.