#its just a stupid think i did cuz i needed to calm tf down

[deeeshka-14]

i was overexcited so i decided to take some cardboard and hot glue and i accidentally made this cardboard troll girl. might as well call her carton cuz this is a pretty valid troll name. i also forgot her gills but i might add em later

[chunkymamatam]

The Obey Me! stories were very entertaining 😊

If you dont mind sharing more, I would appreciate it ❤️

Of course Of course!

Again this was all really fast pace when it happened so like if it seems like so much happened at once, it did, now imagine how that shit felt when it happened.

We were at when Asmo got all pissy and defensive when him and Satan asked me who I'm making a pact with next. I was joking like "You, Asmo, obviously, cutie."

The way this man was like "Do you think I'm that stupid? None of us are as Stupid as Mammon"

I was obviously like "It was a joke."

All this man had to say was "oh"

BITCH APOLOGIZE CUZ YOU ASKED AND I MADE A JOKE WHY'D YOU ASK HOE??? This all happened before I made a pact with Levi idk if I mentioned that but yeah. Nah cuz imma be honest it scared the piss out of me to see Levi try to pounce on me because I got all the trivia questions from the anime right and he couldn't believe I wasn't cheating. The others were however giving me easy questions but that wasn't on my command lmfao

He was a pouty baby when he admitted defeat in the observatory /aff, but yeah not long after I went up into the attic I was in the kitchen and Mammon force fed me Beel's pudding. Bro tried to turn Beel on me and I literally started crying bro. This man is huge and I already have a fear of men so this was not helping bro. I also know how food aggressive he is so I dead ass thought this was it. He asks me if I ate the pudding and I threw Mammon under the bus and was like

"He forced me to take a bite. I told him to put it back."

I've never seen a man's head turn so fast. Man was gonna murder tf out of him. He threw him through the wall and shit. I had to stay in Beel's room for a while cuz that destroyed my room lmfao and pretty soon after that Luke showed up on the doorstep cuz he had a fight with Simeon probably over his prejudice against the demons but I didn't ask so eh. Me and Beel decide to hide him like a good friend and this mfer goes missing. I get there to the basement fast enough that that he's not gonna rock Luke's shit but like he's still pretty pissed so like the traumatized mediator I am, I walk over and grab the book from him and go.

"Hold on, Luke doesn't even know what this is and what it does. There's no need to be hasty, you're a very reasonable man Lucifer. Here's the grimoire back." and I almost had him calmed down enough to see reason and fucking Luke snatched the book out of my hand, I could've beat his ass myself ngl.

I forget what he said to Lucifer but it pissed him off to the point of wanting to kill him again and he threatened as much so Beel jumps in front of him and is like "No punish me instead because its my fault! I let him stay in my room."

So now Lucifer is trying to kill both of them and I tell him no. This man has the audacity to ask my suicidal ass if I wanted to die. I gave this man a look and he realized who he just asked and was like "Actually don't answer that.. One of them is dying. You're going to choose"

I was like "uhm no one is gonna die." This man starts yelling at me that I'm just a human and all this shit about how weak I am. Well, my stubbornness makes up for my lack of physical strength so fuck you lmfao. Anyway he mauled me and I woke up in Beels bed, he looked so relieved that I woke up poor man. He offered me a pact cuz he felt like he owed me and I didn't want him to feel like he was indebted to me or anything so I said yeah to it.

Then the sleep over happened. Man Asmo was wild because he one got us sucked into a labyrinth by his Ex and also he was literally trying to use his charm on me which like why tf are you looking in my eyes like that??? Its hurting autism. Anyway we almost died cuz of his bullshit. That was just the first day too. The next day this man was fucking up the scavenger hunt for the other groups and it was making me and Simeon uncomfortable and Simeon said something which probably hurt his feelings more because they used to be brothers in heaven. He ran off after bitching Simeon out and then I got sent to try and speak some reason to him.

He didn't like that either cuz he was like "You can't tell me what to do. I'm a demon this is what demons do, they ruin things and by the way I'll never make a pact with you." And while he was talking all this shit he was cornering me between the rail and himself. I was so scared he was gonna throw me over and just say I killed myself. Then he has the audacity to be like "Actually if you can get a picture of Lucifer sleeping I'll do it" And I just nod my head cuz I'm fucking terrified bro. I tell Mammon, Levi and Beel we agree to go on and try to do it cuz money, spite, fuck it? idk. but what's important is we got stuck in the dungeon again with Solomon this time. We almost get eaten but Solomon summoned Asmo and did some magic shit so Asmo could better charm this snake. We ended up getting out again but Asmo was whining about his beauty sleep the whole time /Pf. Not long after that (I think? Its been 2 years almost give me a break please sob) during the dinner ball thing that Diavolo did when Lucifer was making his way over to threaten me, I was so violently trying to avoid him. I ended up getting passed to him anyway. I wanted cry man. This man was pretty much trying to crush me against him while saying shit like "I don't know what you're planning but you need to stop before i make you."

BESTIE I HAVE DONE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING INTENTIONALLY PACT WISE OTHER THAN WHAT I WAS FORCED TO AND WHAT WAS NECCESSARY PACT WISE. Nah cuz I shit you not I literally never asked for a pact with any of them other than Mammon and Levi, They all came out and asked me and for one reason or another I was like "fuck it we ball." Anyway, Funny little side note, instead of packing my actually pretty dresses/outfits that were good enough for this occasion Barbatos ended up packing my sequence dress. I've asked him why he hates me on multiple occasions because of it and its our little joke now. He said "I simply did not see the other options" smh time demon, for shame /j

Solomon saved me from Lucifer and the unlocked my magic power for me to use. Well dumb dumb Mammon (/aff) got us stuck in the labyrinth AGAIN and I summoned Asmo and Asmo was like "OOOO Power GIVE. we can make a pact teehee" I'm gonna be honest I agreed to the pact because genuinely that man kinda scared me. We obviously end up getting out and that night Asmo was all up in my bed just looking me over and pointing out all of my details. He was fr even trying to look in my mouth bro ┗( T﹏T )┛

Mammon's jealous ass came in after Asmo basically illuded to trying to fuck. Then one thing lead to another and all of the brothers and Solomon ended up in the room. Someone threw the first pillow and suddenly it was an all out warzone until Lucifer and Diavolo walk in to see what the commotion was. Lucifer wanted to yell at us but Diavolo stopped him and wanted to join. It was no longer a war and just a straight up massacre after that bro.

Lucifer said "hit me if you dare" and obviously I didn't value my life because as him and Diavolo are killing everyone with their deadly ass heat targeting pillows I sneak up behind this man and smack him in the back of the head with a pillow. I shit you not the room froze and he started slow turning I SWEAR HIS EYES WERE GLOWING

I started praying and begging Simeon to help me lmfao I have never run so fast in my life. I managed to hide with Simeon under the covers. I was terrified in the best way lmfao

Okay that's all the mental energy I have for this one. Feel free to ask for more if you want lol

[jujutsu-headcanons]

Yes to Yuji wrecking Mahito! Just so much yes my boy needs to avenge those wrongfully killed!

See I wanted Geto to be on my shit list (as I'm not normally a bad guy lover) but I swear he wore me down reading the manga. Plus he's just so pretty he makes my brain all static noises 😳 Not to mention that backstory between him and Gojo like YES give me all the drama I need buried drama 🤩

Totally agree on the Mai thing. See I wanted to hate Todo too bc of well him beating on Megumi but the moment him and Yuji were just like "Big Dumb Meat Heads" together I threw that out the window! Those two together are *chefs kiss* Absolutely stupendous I never get tired of them 👌👌👌

Mai on the other hand is just crawling more and more under my skin. Like why you gotta be like that gurl? You wanna go in the crusty corner with Mahito? Cuz you gotta crusty attitude that needs fixing like yesterday 😐

Literary brain tells me it wants more drama/character growth between Megumi and Toji. But my useless overly big heart wants to punch Toji and protect Megumi at all costs bc he just showed up on the screen like the kool aid man and burst right into my heart and I shan't forgive Megumi for that but now I will die for him so ¯\_( ツ)_/¯

But I'm not the only one who lowkey fantasizes about self inserty type day dreams??? Like every day all day I got my thoughts flowing into 500 different lil oneshots I'm too chicken to post anywhere bc I havent written anything in a while and I feel I'm rusty. But your idea! YOUR IDEA WOO BOI- I'm not even a Gojo fanatic (like I adore him but my heart dick thudded elsewhere RIP) but that scene you described of straddling him just to rip his blindfold off in the heat of an arguement that's clearly deadly to either party- Just to see him on the brink of tears fighting back every emotion to slate his composure to cocky/uncaring. Only to have it obviously failing, and the metaphorical reality around you both crumbling along with Gojo's emotional state- Oh God I would read that crap outta something like that. It fills me with the angst and I thrive on it daily *heavy breathing* You should think about posting more of your original content too! Self inserty or not bc that sounds down right brilliant on so many levels

💛anon

Bro I can't help but feel had for Gojo. That shit must have hurted. Like he looked so calm and collected when it all happened but was he really? His best friend potential lover went feral and murdered an entire village AND his family then he tried to kill his first years once and now AGAIN what is happening. Did you see the look on Gojo's face when Yaga told him he went rogue? That was a face of hurt and betrayal he couldn't even begin to understand at the young age of... What was it, 17? 18? He was practically a little itty bitty baby compared to now. I haven't read the prequel yet don't laugh at me but I've heard it hurts so much worse having to face Getou back then AND now. Stupid brain worms, stop fucking around.

I wanted to hate Todo too hut before he even turned good I couldn't. I have a thing for big buff boys who have zero brains and too much brawns I'm looking at you Metal Bat, Captain Ōbi I just wanna adopt/marry them because in all reality they're trying their best. I'm really glad Todo exists and has his big brother delusion because honestly I think that's something Yuji needs, especially in the current arc. Yuji needs as much support as he can get.

PFFFT CRUST CORNER I cannot with you omg they do need to sit on the time out chair for s bit and think about what they've done lmaooo

DID YOU CALL TOJI ZENIN- FUSHIGURO THE FUCKING KOOL AID MAN AHAHAHHHSH oh my god i hate this so fucking much or were you calling Megumi the koolaid man bc really each one is absurd n e wayz I dunno bro I rlly can't wait until Megs wakes up post Shibuya arc and actually has time to process what the fuck happened to him back then. I really want to know if he can connect the dots by himself and realize holy shit that was the source of my daddy issues right there in the flesh and how he reacts to him being a curse and all that. There's so many ways that can go too it's scary to think about.

Low key unrelated but I have a theory that Gojo can see everything from his little cube prison and knows what's going on. Its probably because of the six eyes, or because he's just fucking Gojo, or even because Geto seems kinda sadistic and would do something like that. But I can imagine him watching Megs and Toji fight and it absolutely destroying him. For starters, Gojo killed him .... Right? Wtf is he doing back? What? Second don't commit suicide in front of your kid oh my god Toji what (I'm probably just salty because of a past experience, but also, calm down Toji oh my god) and third I can see it hurting Gojo because in a way it feels like he's been trying to protect Megumi. Its obvious Gojo has this attachment to Megumi, and maybe it's because they've known each other so long, but I don't think Gojo is prepared to deal with the aftermath. Does he have to tell him, if Megs doesn't put the pieces together? Will he have to knock some sense into him to actually tell him? Because he DID try to tell Megs once before and he avoided it like the plague. Its also gotta hurt when you feel like someone's dad and you witness them have a bad interaction with their other dad.

Throw in his daughter being on the brink of death, his other son being emotionally demolished, his second year kids lost in the void and not even his void, his best friend locked him in a box, his other best friend exploded, etc. I think Gojo I pretty distraught even if he doesn't show it

Bro okay my brain is riddled with ideas like this and 90% of them are always angst. Idk where tf they come from half the time but they exist and I hate it. They're always self inserts too.

So I actually read this ask last night, but due to personal reasons I didn't reply to it now, and I actually started experimenting writing out this scenario. I had to stop when I wrote the line "Approximately one year after the first finger was consumed, Itadori Yūji was formally executed. At three minutes to midnight, Sukuna Ryomen was expelled from his body, destroying the vessel along with it. The executioner was none other than the teenager's teacher and mentor Gojo Satoru. When Y/N awoke to this news, they attacked on sight."

Oh god I made myself so sad with that line

And i do really want to post some of my fics, like I did with Nobara Meeting Sukuna For The First Time. However, I only posted that because it was short and simple lmao it was basically just a meme I didn't even run it though grammarly like I do with the headcanons.

I like sticking to the headcanons as of right now because I feel like grammar didn't exist when I make those. I can spell things wrong and leave off punctuation and word then like I'm a third grader just learning English and no one will laugh lmao. Fanfics kinda stress me out because i want them to be perfect. I also have a hard time with fight scenes and transitioning and it's s mess.

I REALLY want to write out my Guardian Angel! Junpei AU because I think it's so cute. Just the idea that this boy is assigned to fight against fate and the higher ups and keep Yuji alive despite him being an idiot and a target is cute to me. Like I just canon him being the plantonic equivalent of in love with this boy and he feels like he rlly owes it to Yuji for trying to save him it's the LEAST he can do. Plus I need the mental imagine if Junpei annoying reader-chan into finding Yuji because "they play a pivotal role in Yuji's future" just for the "pivotal role" to literally be playing therapist and just being there for him and being a medium between Junpei and Yuji because guardian angels aren't allowed to reveal themselves to the person they're guarding but also/// he might risk his wings being stripped just to talk to Yuji one more time////

Okay I'm going to stop now

But yea, maybe if I have time and create little mini works like Nobara Meeting Sukuna For the First Time I'll def post them! I'll work on casually making them longer and soon I'll be confident to posts longer ones. But until then I hope just the headcanons at alright ;-;

[death-himself]

enjoy my theories and me connecting dots that weren’t meant to be connected and also random notes

this is from my third time watching the new episode, including every single tiny detail i noticed because when it comes to theorizing i either dont do anything or go all out

also know that I am terrible at reading facial expressions so most of those parts are likely wrong

(under the cut because on google docs it said it was 7 pages long and i am afraid)

virgil looks automatically anxious and frustrated

logan stutters a lot after roman makes the "take off your glasses" joke and i cant tell if hes confused or if hes actually offended by that

what they all say the first time they yell at logan: virgil: "shut up before i shut you up" thomas: "WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH" patton: "hey now heeeyy nowww" slowly turning into song

thomas calls virgil "the purp man"

references to Sword and the stone? may refer to something?

second time they yell at logan: virgil: "i'm gonna prohibit your BREATHING if you keep this up" (damn virge calm down) thomas: "please stop please i really dont want to think about it" patton doesnt speak (im pretty sure)

virgil glances at thomas a lot

is it just me or around the time virgil says "we're going to talk about something else now" he starts to sound a lot like deceit? Especially with that "sure"

roman gets easily distracted

"of course you're not a chick. You're a metaphysical human being. A chick is a really ??? girl"

why does remus appear behind the TV?

patton notices remus when saying "evil" virgil notices remus when saying "show up" and his tempest tongue comes in

when roman get knocked out the first time virgil looks at thomas like hes frustrated or annoyed maybe he looks at thomas like that because he thought it was thomas that was to blame for him showing up? since he was the one to have those intrusive thoughts?

also why does remus smack roman with a morning star?

all dark sides wear eye shadow confirmed

also this disproves the theory that all dark sides have a more animalistic features, therefore proving the headcanon that deceit just puts on makeup to look like he has scales on his face because hes dramatic

virgil looks kind of scared right before the song starts

during the song: logan looks done with everything thomas looks scared virgil looks furious and maybe defensive (that snarl tho) patton looks confused

why is patton of all sides to be the one to puke out remus (that's probably not the weirdest line i've written)

Remus considers any creativity that isn't dirty or horrific (aka his stuff) to be dull or boring

I think the A-Z part of the song is a reference to this one song video about the ABCs of ways to die but i have no clue

Even early on in the song when logan says "It's fine" it shows that hes trying to sort this out and get to the problem, but Remus prevents him from continuing, then allows Pat and Virge to say their thoughts

ROMAN CALLS REMUS "BRO" 8 MINUTES IN

"recently a snake offered me a morsel from the tree of knowledge" reference to deceit but also adam and eve

one of deceit's hands is holding a gavel reference to SvS

also deceit wears a coat just sayin

"No longer will you deceive yourself about the ugliness within you" this means that deceit really doesn't want thomas to lie to himself

why is deceit always the one with multiple arms when half his face is a snake? snakes dont have arms

Is remus holding up the mirror to thomas a reference to remus and roman basically being mirror images of each other?

Remus is SO PALE compared to thomas WHICH IS WEIRD CUZ THOMAS IS ALREADY REALLY PALE

I think remus is actually a lot smarter than he seems he knows how to manipulate thomas into believing hes a bad person by using religious topics and language, something that's been with thomas his whole life

also while remus is singing about hell he turns from normal to fully colored green, similar to all the other sides

Virgil looks so disturbed and frustrated after the song

"I'm really stupid right now" MOOD

when remus agrees with thomas that roman's his creativity he's just like "yeah...." SIBLING RELATIONSHIPS TO A T

Virgil and Remus argue like they know each other super well

Patton's so pure he doesn't even like to say "B-hole" precious dad

Remus uses words that have been said before to back himself up "Why do you want to stifle your own creativity, thomas?" 12 Days of Christmas: "We shouldn't stifle Roman's creative whimsy!" also all the other times roman's admitted to feeling ignored

Virgil's so uncomfortable he might have been afraid that remus would outright say that hes a dark side (bc honestly remus seems like the kind of guy to do that)

Why does remus like Jeffery Dommer so much?

also when remus turned his head to the side at about 10:30 the music matches and sounds like hes cracking his neck

Remus gets confused for a moment when Logan takes his "lot of good that did him!" seriously this seems to be a recurring theme throughout all the dark sides: them being confused by logan taking things literally You think I'm joking? I'm not Virgil early on gets frustrated that logan seems to "only take what he says literally" and I'm pretty sure I remember some time where deceit has to stop to process the fact that logan took one of his metaphors seriously

LOGAN IS A PSYCHOLOGY NERD AND WOULD LIKELY BE A PRETTY DECENT THERAPIST. YOU CAN NOT CHANGE MY MIND

Patton looks so scared when logan asks him to do the experiment. Hes like "what? what do you need me for? what's going on?"

virgil looks so tired and annoyed when he says "good save"

LOGAN GIVING OUT VALIDATION TO PATTON AND THEN LATER TO VIRGIL IS ADORABLE

wait does virgil blow at his bangs whenever he's really annoyed or anxious? because he did that in moving on part 2 while he was dealing with his panic attack in pattons room and then in this episode where he is clearly anxious throughout the whole thing

"No mommy I dont want the mashed potatoes" ROMAN HAS A MOM WHICH MEANS THAT REMUS HAS A MOM BUT WHO TF IS THEIR MOM

when thomas calls remus scary and he responds with that it sounds like a virgil problem Virgil glares at him so clearly defensive and angry remus just smiles like "yeah, i know whats going on"

virgil's the only one who doesnt suspect logan to be deceit when remus claims it

you know when everyone was creating theories about who romans counterpart would be and everyone was expecting them to be extremely elegant and suave? yeah, why the fuck did we think that? If the dark sides are like mirror images of the light sides, then of course remus would be this chaotic demon with literally no elegance whatsoever roman's the elegant, romantic, graceful prince, so of course whatever remus is would be his opposite

Cane and Abel - another biblical reference

also after remus says that virgil looks like hes confused or maybe just deep in thought about something

self-immolate means to set fire to yourself i had to look it up too remus literally wants thomas to strip, set himself on fire and play shake it off

despite all the biblical references reeling thomas in, remus is sooo bad at getting his point across "and then the baby...dies" "AND NO ONE SURVIVES"

a demented version of that "hallelujah" thing plays while hes talking about the baby bird and the airplane

"I am YOUR creativity" at that it flashes to Virgil, who looks like hes thinking about it. probably a sort of build-up to show how long virgil thinks about it before admitting that remus had a point

virgil looks so nervous when remus says that hes never been one to soften the truth

"why would you aspire to be so...boring?" (i feel like the word aspire there is important for some reason)

patton tries so hard to believe that thomas is a good person to the point where he ignores logic

THAT TURN TO LOGAN REMUS DOES IS SO FRICKIN TERRIFYING

it seems like both remus and deceit seem to understand that logan is the most dangerous for them remus threatens logan to try and get him to stop talking deceit chucks logan to the very back of the courtroom in SvS

"TURN INTO A GHOST" "TURN INTO THE HULK"

"I merely gave him a baby...AND A LARGE SHARP KNIFE" ME

"one of you is enough!" I wonder how that line affected Virgil? since it's possible that at this time he was already doubting whether or not hes really grown

PATTON LITERALLY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT REPRESSION IS

that voice-crack when virgil says "But what if he's lying?" That might show how he feels about lying and deceit a bit more. he might be terrified at the thought of being lied to

paranoid is definitely a really bad word to virgil and the others know it. virgil and patton turn to look at logan the moment he says it, and logan freezes for a moment to change it into something better

when both virge and remus say "but what about jeffery dommer" virgil just looks so scared, his eyes darting around as if his mind is racing, probably worried that he really hasnt grown

they keep referring back to "that can't be where the bar is"

Logan says "figuratively" to stop Remus

"I LOVE BEING GIVEN TWO D's AT ONCE"

Virgil looks so afraid that he's still the bad guy in this its so sad

both patton and virgil laugh at poop jokes they are 29— they are very mature adults

"I would never hide anything from you" *glances at virgil* I feel like that might have been the moment virgil realized he couldn't just hide him being a dark side much longer

THEY DON'T EVEN LOOKED SCARED WHEN REMUS SCREAMED THEY JUST LOOKED ANNOYED

as the vid goes on remus tries more and more to be noticed

why did logan ask virgil how thomas was feeling instead of patton? was it because he knew thomas was really anxious or because he felt like patton would claim that he was feeling fine?

while everyone's calming down during logan's lecture, virgil just seems to grow more and more anxious, since he knows that he'll probably have to tell thomas that hes a dark side

thomas and virgil STILL dont want to go to a therapist

virgil just looks so guilty when thomas decides to lie down on the couch

"It was just like old times" when remus says that patton and logan just look so mad that he would say that

after that logan glances up at virgil to see how he feels aww

VIRGIL'S SMILE WHEN ROMAN GETS BACK UP IS SO UNSURE YET SO HOPEFUL AT THE SAME TIME

everyone just looks so proud of logan awww

virgil sounds so lost when hes about to reveal himself

he never calls them "the dark sides", just "the others"

virgil looks on the verge of tears when he says "because i was one of them". it shows how much this affects him, and how terrified he is to tell thomas. this is even more terrifying to him than telling them his name, which was shown to be an important thing to him

and afterwards thomas just goes silent, and looks so lost and confused, maybe even betrayed. he clearly needed a moment to think before saying anything

then virgil shrugs and leaves, his eyes red and full of tears, probably too scared to stay any longer

once he leaves thomas just stares at the ground processing the information

i’m bad at theorizing and my thoughts are a mess rn so all of this is probably complete shit

[pokefanbri]

https://www.facebook.com/104057744428568/posts/156998459134496/?sfnsn=mo&d=n&vh=e

Fucking told him its a huge red flag if someone doesn't get rid of their apps. Multiple apps. Smh 😠 "oh yea i don't use them anymore" proceeds to use fb dating app" for real come on bro!

Some comments of the post:

"If you have to be checking up on your Partner then you shouldn't be with that person.. Idk how people have time for all this .. love yourself and know your worth.."

"If you're in a serious committed exclusive relationship you should not be on tinder. That's how I met my fiance and as soon as we said we are gf and bf and exclusive we both deleted it. Honestly if I was her I would have broken up with him too"

"a person also has a right to trust their gut feeling and check things out if something's not feeling right. Knowledge is power"

I've already discussed this but this news clip further validates my point of the topic, nothing more. I could call him out on hs bs further with detail, but I won't....yet, out of respect even though he probably doesn't deserve it. Til he reaches me & apologizes for everything he's done, i can say whatever tf I want & i could make a whole damn list.

Its the events of this what happened that started our downfall to begin with cuz i didn't trust him & he didn't even try to gain it back just left it as is when I could've turned my back right then & there, no apology either. Didnt apologize much actually, not even when i last saw him. But from then we spiraled & he got bored of me. I wasn't giving him what he wanted in whatever way & he wanted to find more. Closed himself off from the beginning & that created his boredom 😒

Would've had a blast together like a normal fucking couple if he was less closed off, & wouldn't have felt the need to do shit behind my back.

I'll stop talking about it for now, I have the anger & urge to keep going but I wont...actually no Screw it im pissed 😡 but ill keep it light. Its just not fair, I did so much for him but I was disrespected in different aspects of the whole relationship. Fuck! I've talked about the positives alot cuz i do love him..but the negatives are such bs too.

I want a good ass sincere apology for all of it so I can forgive him & move on, ive already apologized myself even though I dont think I should have to 😒. Didnt even give me a straight answer for the breakup, it was always a different excuse when I know he just wanted to pursue other women without me around im not fucking stupid. His own toxicity was too much even for himself & I was in the line of fire, to where i was the toxic one? No fuck that its unacceptable, he always lied when it came to covering his own ass.

For all i know he's watching me squirm & taking pleasure in all the pain I'm going through over him cuz he likes the attention. But no I actually don't think so on that one he's still good & ill give him credit where its due. But I gave him all the attention he wanted/needed & still wanted more from someone else. Really dude fucking really!?

Man up & own up to your mistakes, speak to me where I can actually hear ur voice speaking back to me with sincerity. We'll apologize together. Yea ull be pissed about this, but after u get over it & calm down. Give in & call me, granted when ur ready, & open up for once in your damn reserved life. Itll help us both with more closure & may even take a weight off our shoulders if we just talk it out, no arguing...since we're done there's no point anyway..a friendly non judgment zone cuz idc, i won't think of u any less.

U confused me during & especially after the relationship cuz i didnt know who u really were, i know the good cuz that's what u allowed me to see, ive accepted the bad that I knew already & from what ive learned...i accepted u regardless.

I always forgave u & not cuz im passive, cuz forgiveness is what the Bible teaches.. ive forgiven u & myself the best i could especially with the last things ive showed u, (accept this part cuz im pissed rn & standing up for myself, ill delete eventually maybe if u ask cuz nobody wants to be seen any less of a person. but I can make it alot worse, calling me the mistake was the worst thing u ever said to me & pointing out your faults so u can be better throughout the relationship was my only toxicity to u) we actually never really fought except the 1 time, just argued a tiny bit rarely about little things.

Ive tried using every ounce of my courage to show u how much im sorry for any wrong ive done. but its up to u now to make things right. U know me, ive always said that u can talk to me about anything. I want to be able to trust again & move on whilst staying friends. What else do u have to lose, might even have a great heart to heart convo dude to dudet

Everything ive ever said up to this point lies all my Questions. But here's most of the list, we both were equally in control of the relationship. Maybe u didn't want me to? But doing everything I had to for myself & the household, what u & ur parents wanted of me & just me being me cuz i had to, u had your own part to play & did provide...but did u actually not want me to cater to u if it were a sign u were lazy or something? Like did u not feel worthy of me? What is it u think is my "addicting personality" that isn't fixable on the surface? What is it really that u didnt like about me? This is why i don't have closure, u left me like this, confused as well as wanting more since u held back so much. Was that on purpose to give me even more false hope & want me to pine over u? Did u ever or do u still, love me at all? What did u want from me & out of the relationship, what was the purpose of it from ur perspective & why do u think i couldn't give that to u? What did i lack that u felt compelled to not tell me so I could improve & vise versa so we both could improve? Why wouldn't u allow me to help u become a better man when (I shouldnt have to btw), its exactly what u wanted but maybe didnt see it? Do u realize your own faults even as u do them? Lol. Like i genuinely want to know as much as the good ive seen, cuz to be better the more open of a person u are the more u understand yourself too.

Unless claiming u want to be a better man is part of ur alluring charm in love bombing process to land a caring girl on purpose lol...god I hope not, that would just mean u rinse & repeat like a for real narcissist 🤔 seriously tho look into that im not even kidding, im asking cuz i care. Im pissed now but 1 thing is that im trying to not put ur behavior against u cuz maybe u can't help it, its just the way u are, all ive seen & experienced points to maybe 50% of u lol. Ive always suspected narcissism, a real psych problem that might be worth looking into. But yea 1 of the reasons especially why im so forgiving & trying not to put it against u, why i still care despite u being a dick lol. I chose to look past it, all the time & up to now cuz I understand what its like to have psychological ailments. The worst part about it is most dont realize it, so i encourage u to do some research & self reflection & admitting it to urself are the 1st steps. Okay? There's different kinds & levels to being 1 too, i found that fascinating. bryan is definitely a different type, ur more lighter than that...definitely not the worst which is the physical harm type. Trust me its worth finding out more about yourself, just dont use it to ur advantage in a bad way but i trust u to do right & grow. Not sure a discarded supply (ie me) has ever tried telling a narcy what they might be for the benefit of their own self awareness 🤔,idk if its ever been done, but theres a 1st for everything? U can find alot on it in quora digest alone but Google is also ur friend.

You always were worth every effort of mine to help u in any way to be happy, & i was most happy when u were. U mean alot to me still, its the effect u had on me, I was under ur spell lol its hard to rid myself of it still, not sure when it'll pass. I chose to see it as a gift rather than a curse, that ur effect on me is still so strong when I shouldn't give a damn. If u really are a narcy, then I understand & don't put alot against u cuz its just the way u are & i need to accept it, but if it somehow helps u to help yourself cuz of it, then whats the harm? But, even in doing this or having my socials public for u...maybe just feeds into what u want...i still dont care, I want u to see how bad or good im doing without u in my life, so u know im okay at least. U promised friendship, least I can do is allow u to keep tabs on me too we spoke of, on my end of things.

The 18th of June was the last time i saw u. It'll soon be a month ago in about a week & a 1/2 & your birthday would mark 2 months. Cant believe we couldn't even last through to that 😔

Mark my words playa I will be contacting u on that day lol. Can't ghost your homie forever sweetie

[redheaded-sniper-girl]

FOR THOSE WHO DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED FOR ROTG

DON’T CONTINUE READING CUZ I’M  S HO O K

HOLY FUCK.

Okay I don’t even know where to start. I guess my opinion on whether it was good or bad will do. Well. I’m not sure. I just. As soon as I finished reading I came to my computer and started typing this so I’m still trying to organize in my head what tf I want to say and what tf I’m feeling.

This book was all fun and games and full of shit posting material until it all went to hell in the second half of the book. Fucking maCCABEE?! RIP. FUCKING. LISTEN SARAH AND JAGO SHOULD NOT HAVE GONE OUT LIKE THAT. THAT WAS FUCKING STUPID AND MAKES ME HATE AN AND HATE THE AUTHORS. Speaking of An holy shit did he go way tf off the rails, more than he had already, that poor kid. I still can’t even tell if Chiyoko really was talking to him or not; sometimes it seemed like she really was, like actually going against what An wanted to do, but then other times the things she said seemed unrealistic. Actually, I have a whole lot more to say about Chiyoko and the concept of the Dreaming, but that’s a whole other topic on its own and will get its own post (don’t worry, it’s not a negative opinion, it actually has to do with something I said on this blog a long time ago, but you’ll have to wait for that ;) ).

Anyways.

I have a list of questions that I’m mad didn’t get answered by the end of the book:

a) What are all the other keplers going to do now? It wasn’t just 22b in on Endgame, though he was the only Game Master. But what kind of stock did the rest of them have in the game? This conveniently leads us to the next question:

b) What was actually the point of Endgame? I know it was deduced eventually that yes it actually had no benefit to humans whatsoever and was just meant to be a subjugation tactic of one species over another, but that can’t be the end of it. Why did 22b need those specific things in the star chamber? Why did he specifically need people with those certain genetic traits? WHAT’S THE AGENDA???

c) What happened to the Brotherhood of the Snake? It seems like they just served as an excuse for the author to have the monuments being destroyed, but looking at it from an in-universe perspective (idk if that’s the right way to word it), the Brotherhood should’ve had a much more imposing/important presence than they did in rotg. But then again, I’m pretty sure both The Zero Line Chronicles and Project Berlin address this side of things more, as well as (hopefully) the stories behind some of these non-Player Endgamers (Jordan, Marrs, Stella, Nori Ko, etc).

Okay, I thinks that’s all taken care of, but I’m pretty sure I had more questions than that. I’ll write them down as I remember them. Real quick, going back to Sarah and Jago, let me reiterate; that was FUCKING STUPID. Like I’m still fucking pisSED. Like okay. I understand why the authors wanted to kill them off. They wanted to erase the illusion that Sarah and Jago were the main characters I guess, and/or make a statement about death and how fleeting, remorseless, and indiscriminate it is. Okay. That’s actually pretty cool and bold of them to do, props to you Frey and Johnson-Shelton for having the balls to do that. BUT AS THE READER IT LEAVES SOMETHING TO BE DESIRED. It makes the reader feel a bit cheated, having it end so quickly and without any bump, like the whole matter was as easy to write-off as any other mundane thing a person does, like pour milk into a cereal bowl. But then again, I don’t feel this way about Maccabee’s death. I feel has was done fairly well. I’m realizing now as I write this how morbid that sounds. What I’m saying is that both Maccabee’s as well as Sarah and Jago’s happened in a similar fashion; fast and seamless; so fast the reader has to reread it just to make sure yes that actually did happen wow. the difference is that Maccabee’s seemed more honorable. Yes, I know, not everyone dies an honorable death, but for Maccabee, that was a big step in his character development, bringing his character full circle and giving the almost “okay I can die now” confirmation. Now that I think about, Sarah’s was like that too. I guess what I’m really pissed about is Jago’s death. Maccabee died protecting Little Alice, Sarah died after having the weight of Christopher’s death finally being lifted from her shoulders as well as seeing her family again. Both of these people have something in common: closure. Jago did not get closure. As a matter of fact, Jago didn’t get much of anything in this book. Well actually no, I guess he did get closure way back in The Calling when he and Sarah first realized they were in love. But it still just. Doesn’t seem right. Idk what, but it felt as though his character still had more to offer, I can’t really describe it any other way.

Ugh, I can’t think of anything else to say right now because my mind is OVERFLOWING with new artwork and stuff to do, and it makes me mad that I can’t do it right now because I really need to go to sleep. I might actually punch out what I had to say about Chiyoko and the Dreaming before bed so I don’t forget, but yeah writing this has gotten me to calm down to a rational level. Just know that I will probably never be done with this subject and other rants/posts will show up in the future.

Until then,

Sasha