#its honestly incredible. unbelievable

[eldritchqueerture]

therapy can be something that is so eldritch horror coded actually

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

Part 2/2

By the time Stanley had realized he wasn't as alone as he believed himself to be entrapped in this ravenous abyss; he had honestly begun to suspect that he was finally starting to properly lose his mind.

In all the ceaseless miles that Stanley had journeyed during his apparent permanent residence within the dark devouring void, not once had he encountered another conscious, walking, talking being similar to himself. Every other formerly living creature that he had crossed paths with had been so... silent. Empty. Dead, in every sense of the word. It was as though the very essence of life itself had been sucked out of their bodies with a straw, their forms slowly falling apart piece by piece under the vicious gluttony of the darkness that surrounded them. They looked like they actually were supposed to be there, unmoving and comatose, unlike him.

So, when Stanley first began to encounter the twins, all of a sudden, he wasn't the only one in the dark.

When meeting the first pair of them, he found himself standing in a lake.

He hadn't even noticed the changes at first. It felt as though he had been walking for weeks on end, his body moving purely on autopilot and his aching legs leading him towards a destination only it knew. A thick fog of forgetfulness and flickering memories had descended upon his brain like a heavy blanket of numbing static as he had traveled. In this absentminded state, he hadn't even realized that the ever-present undulating, buzzing darkness surrounding him had begun to gradually shift and morph to form a horizon line; stretching into tall looming cliffsides that almost seemed to close in on him. Once the nonexistent floor beneath his soles abruptly began to ripple and warp, like the disturbed surface of a shallow puddle; only then did he finally notice his transformed environment.

The transition was seamless, almost dream-like. One moment, he was still surrounded by that filthy, overwhelming abyss; and the next, his boots were suddenly plunged deep into the cold, dark lake water.

The silence didn't leave, however. It still choked and stuffed its way into Stanley's ears to clog up his mind with thick cotton; the eerie quiet not quite matching the calm, almost serene scenery the void seemed to have abruptly transformed itself into. Like a movie with its sound cut off; leaving only the unsettling hum of the projector to fill the empty air.

It was odd. The lake was surely incredibly deep. He could obviously tell from how thin and pathetically small the shores appeared all the way from where he now unceremoniously stood in the middle of the lake. Stan could look down and see the darkness below his feet swallow what meager light that managed to break through the murky waters. The overwhelming black almost seemed to beckon him, gaping and haunting; a bottomless underwater pit of pitch black that never seemed to end.

And yet, he didn't sink. Stanley remained perfectly level, the almost ink like waters stopping just at ankle level, as though he were held up just above the surface by some invisible force. Even the writhing waves seemed small and low, as though the waters were shy to climb up his legs further than that. It was odd, so very odd.

However, it wasn't nowhere near as odd as the sight that greeted him when he finally lifted his eyes from the waters.

Stanley had crossed paths with truly unbelievable sights in this strange somewhere; from bursting, collapsing stars; to the imploding heat death of entire universes, but none of them seemed to hold the candle to what he saw then when he lifted his eyes:

Children.

Two, to be exact. Two, nearly identical looking children stood motionless before him; completely soaked through to the bone as though they had taken a plunge into the frigid water that pooled around their ankles. It was a girl and a boy, both adorned with twin expressions utterly devoid of emotion, their wide eyed stare seeming to burn holes into his thin jacket. Their drenched clothes sagged off of their scrawny frames; thin rivulets of water dirpping off of them and disturbing the glassy surface of the water at their feet. The little girl's hair had messily stuck to her face in thin sodden strands, her cheeks still full and round with youth just like the boy's. They looked young. Too young to be in a place such as this.

Oh, but their eyes; their eyes.

They burned with such anger; such injustice, brighter than any dying star or galaxies he had ever seen. Anger towards the world, to fate, to whatever cruel deity that had deemed them fit to be sent to this wretched place so prematurely. They were too young to be here; to be entrapped like he was amongst this hungry darkness. And yet, here they were, sheer denial against their own untimely deaths being the only thing keeping them awake and conscious amongst the dead and rotting. A show of juvenile defiance to nature itself so vehement even the all-consumign darkness seemed hesitant to devour them whole just yet.

It saddened him. It saddened him to know that they belonged there, that they were supposed to be there. He could see it, he could feel it; they were dead. No amount of determination could deny that universal fact.

When they spoke, Stanley could hear anger:

Stan chuckled in a futile attempt to lighten the suddenly heavy atmosphere that threatened to crush him whole. "A lake monster? You kids and your imagination," he teased, hoping to somehow rid the poor kids of the haunted look that seemed to whirl in their glares. No child should have been burdened with such a knowing look; such eyes that looked like they had seen everything there was to see about the world, the horrid and the good.

Clearly, it had been the wrong thing to say, and Stanley's faux pas was rewarded with a scowl from the little boy. A world's worth of sour contempt etched into every contorted groove that his grimace seemed to dig into his much too young face. Stan suddenly felt guilt squeeze at his weary bones for having caused that.

"That's what they all said," the boy spat out, eyes shining with a sheen of wetness Stan wasn't sure he was prepared to deal with.

Stan left that first interaction with the twins with the feeling of guilt and sorrow still clining to him.

He couldn't have known, at the time. He couldn't have known that this wouldn't be anywhere near the last time that he would meet the pair. He hadn't realised just how many of them there were. After that first pair, his endless journeying within the Abyss was hardly be spent alone anymore. Countless more times, he came face to face with the exact same two young and impossibly worn faces; forced to meet one pair of beaten and bruised kids after another.

Not one pair had died the same death as another. Some had gotten lost, prey to whatever threat that had snatched them up out in the open; some had fallen from high up; some had been crushed under an incredible weight; some had burned; some eaten alive; some zombified. Some didn't even seem physically harmed at all, body perfectly intact, and yet that same faraway, distrubed look in their eyes remained.

He thought the worst ones were the ones he found alone. A little girl or a little boy, left all lonesome without their other half there. Twins, he remembered a pair of them telling him once.

Once, he had come across a town full of silent, stone statues. It was a rustic, shabby, almost nostalgic looking town- odd and strangely familiar. The sight of it had tugged at an aged memory that had long since wasted away in the back of his mind. It was serene, almost deceptively so. The sun shone; the air smelled crisp and fresh; numerous waterfalls continued to crash down from the tall cliffsides; and a soft nonexistent breeze whistled through the thicket of pine trees that blanketed the outskirts of the town. None of it seemed to match the gruesome scene of the hundred wailing statues that littered every inch of the town.

He had found the boy's statue on the other side of town, deep within the green forest and toppled over the gnarled roots of a towering tree. Like the rest of the townsfolk, he too, was frozen mid-shriek; his stone face twisted and contorted into a mock impression of a silent scream as his body lay paused in a writhing struggle. He made sure to be gentle when he carried the boy's statue over to place it beside the girl's, whose statue stood far deeper into the forest, sporting the same rictus grimace of terror as her brother's. It somehow felt wrong for them to have been so far apart from one another, even in death.

He had come to dread meeting of the twins. He hated every second he had to confront yet another pair of dead children that did not belong here, but fate had decided they did. He despised having to listen to their tales of woe as they wept about the injustice of the world, of having died young; he despised himself for being unable to do more than weep with them.

"We don't belong here, Grunkle Stan," he would listen to the little girl weep, calling him a title he didn't recognize. He never remembered if they had ever told him their name, but they all seem to know his, without a fail. "If we're dead, then what about you? What about Grunkle Ford? Mom? Dad? What about them? We can't be dead, we can't be," they would say, confusion and frustration written all over their faces. They didn't understand. They didn't understand why they had come to the darkness so early, so unfairly.

He never knew what to say, he'd never been good with words.

All he could do was kneel down to their levels and engulf them in his arms, hoping he could somehow squeeze the pain straight out of their bodies in his embrace. He hugged them, because what else could he do?

[the-fandom-is-now-my-life]

Could umm… you happen to do another if creator had a child and its wanderer. The only odd/strange thing about the baby is that they have ball joints like a puppet?just wondering

The creator had a 

Doll like child

Wc: ~700

“Wanderer?” You ask without fully expecting an answer, whenever you spend the night stargazing both of you get lost in your thoughts.

“What?” 

“What we did a few weeks ago was to spite Raiden?” your eyes look at him,m while he still lays down, the dark fibers of his hair brushing against the milky white of his skin “Hey, answer”

“You are incredible, you know” his brow furrows and softly sighs “asking such dumb questions”

“Just answer it”

“Do you truly need me to say it to your face?” he looks tired, as if the question seemed so unbelievably obvious to him. When your eyes meet he sighs again like an angsty teen “no, I didn't start intimacy with you just to bother the hag. I would never fall that low”

A soft hum leaves your lips, nodding to the comforting words you had to wrangle out of him.

“Why even the question? That was like four months ago” 

“I think I might be pregnant” his surprised jolt almost made him slide off the roof.

“How is that possible even?” He presses his elbow, feeling the ball and socket joint underneath the false skin. Two pieces of wood rotating around a small sphere rather than your own arm, where the bones were secured by ligaments and muscles had to contract for every movement.

“Honestly, I wonder the same”

“Aren't you supposed to know everything?”

“Last time I checked dolls weren't able to reproduce”

“Do you think it will be human or more like… me?” the last part of his question sounded almost heartbroken. Softly you grasp his fingers in your hand, encouraging him.

“I will love them regardless”

“How weird, at birth Ara seemed pretty hypotonic, but now she seems alright” one of the bimarstan nurses checks the baby, pulling her off the ground from her arms and laying her flat on her palm. But she felt like a ragdoll if it wasn't by her breathing and her annoyed expression by the handling

“At least there doesn't seem to be anything else”

“let's just keep an eye on it” she promptly returns her to you.

‘could that be because of wanderer? He said that part of what kept him together was elemental energy, it could be that as she grows she absorbs it’ 

“Ara, what are you doing?” You ask playfully to the toddler who sneaked in the kitchen and made a mess with the pots and lids.

“I see someone is quite active this morning, huh?” The father of said child pops from behind you, passes by your side and plops the year old on his hip. Her gummy smile is an adorable sight, her chubby hand pointing to his hat and the other grabbing the lid she put on her head.

“Are you trying to imitate someone?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” He looks at his child and back at you “we aren't even that similar” he says while holding his mini clone. At the same time they both lean their head sideways, the hats leaning towards that side.

“Isn't she so cute?” Nahida looks at your toddler daughter brushing her doll's hair, her dark hair framing her face and her big blue eyes reflecting the sunlight off them.

“She does remind me of a Hina doll” Raiden approaches a hand to pat her head but Ara slaps it away before poking out her tongue and rushes outside “did she just…”

Your hand cups your cheek, curious at what happened to your usual quiet baby “That is quite unexpected, she does tend to enjoy getting her hair played with” could hatred be inherited by genes? That was the only reason you could think of for a 3 year old to hate Raiden on sight.

“And if you see a woman wearing a kimono and a braid she is a witch that came to curse you, so make sure to kick her in the shin, understood?”

“Kitty!” the girl yells as she opens her presents

“Yes, that is a cat, Bu’er brought it to you for you birthday” as you look deeper into the black cat you can't help but feel its dark fur and purple eyes remind you of someone. Even more so when a small black kitten and a coloured cat are also in the box.

[minisugakoobies]

Confessions of a Dirty Mind | Bang Chan

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader Genre: smut, and they were roommates!, porn with the barest of plots, a little fluff Rating: M (18+) Warnings: incredibly thirsty pining, reader’s a bit feral for her roommate, the giggles will be deployed as a weapon, reader drops the d word (daddy) in her dirty thoughts but never says it out loud, accidental texts, body worship (abs, thighs, breasts - everything gets praised), love bites/marking, grinding, chan is thick everywhere, chan throws reader around a little, hints at dom!chan, fingering, oral sex (m + f receiving), facefucking, cum eating, reader is kind of an idiot but that's okay!, I wrote this out of a dire need to s this man’s d Word Count: 6.5K Disclaimers: NSFW; obviously I don’t own SKZ - they just inspire me Summary: The absolute last thing you want is for your roommate to find out just how much you want him. Right?

A/N: Well, as threatened promised, I'm writing for Stray Kids now in addition to BTS! This came out of absolutely nowhere last week. I've just got Bang Chan brainrot 24/7 now, so that's cool. Thanks to @minttangerines @bangtanintotheroom @sugalaritae for their support (and amazing Aussie accents!!) 💕

Unbeta'd as usual. Please let me know what you think! Like if you'd like to see more skz fics from me… that would fuel me to keep writing. If everyone hates this I'm quitting writing and moving to the wild to live with the koalas ✌️

Being roommates with your crush is its own special type of torture. Always being so close to what you want but never being able to touch. To taste. To feel. 

You weren’t always this feral. Once upon a time, you were normal. Well-adjusted, even. Then you had to move for your job and needed to find a place to stay fast and your best friend Minho just happened to know someone looking for a roommate. 

Honestly, looking back, it was too easy. Should’ve known there’d be a catch. And that catch was your sanity. 

Because Minho’s friend Bang Chan turned out to be the hottest man you’ve ever seen in your life. 

Listen. A lot of people use phrases like that all the time, “the hottest man you’ve ever seen,”  some hyperbole they say for ridiculous effect, but you mean it. You have never seen anyone as beautiful as this man, with his chiseled cheekbones, thick lips, and those dimples. 

Fuck. Those dimples. Almost as maddening as the washboard abs he’s constantly showing off. You didn’t know a person could be allergic to shirts until you met Chan. 

And now you’re suffering. Every. Damn. Day. 

It’s not just that he’s the most gorgeous man on the planet. No, that would be hurtful enough, but he’s also kind. Smart. Silly as hell. You’re constantly plagued by his sweet smiles and unbelievably adorable giggles. 

The worst part, though, is the way he can flip between sexy and soft instantaneously. Like when the two of you argue over something stupid. All of your arguments are fundamentally stupid. The two of you get on so fucking well, the only things you argue over are opinions on pointless things. Like last night, when you’d joined him for a beer while he watched tv. 

“You’re out of your mind,” Chan had declared, twisting sideways on the couch to look at you. “There’s no way a koala could possibly defeat a kangaroo in a cage match!”

“Sure it could.” 

“No, it could not!” Chan let loose a flurry of high-pitched giggles. “Have you ever seen a kangaroo? Those things are ripped! One kick or punch, and the koala’s out.” He mimed a powerful punch.

You tipped back the remainder of your beer before pointing the bottle at him. “Yes it could! Think about it - what do koalas do?” When he just blinked, you continued. “They climb! And what do koalas usually have?” Again, a blank stare. “Syphilis! So… think about it! All that little guy has to do is climb up the kangaroo, give him some germs, and boom! Kangaroo goes down.” You grin smugly. “There’s a reason they call syphilis the silent killer.” 

Chan fixed you with his signature Look™, the one you think of as “stern dom daddy” - thick eyebrows drawn, bottom lip tucked between his teeth, dark eyes scanning your face - and you felt your knees go weak. Then he blinded you with the full sunshiny force of his smile, eyes closing, dimples popping. 

“That is an absolutely insane argument, not to mention completely incorrect. I don’t even know where to start explaining why you’re wrong.” He paused. “No, actually, let’s start with the fact that it’s chlamydia, not syphilis, that koalas get, and go from there.” By the time he’d finished  and you’d finally conceded that a kangaroo would probably win, the two of you were nearly in tears from laughing.

His duality is whiplash-inducing. And always leaves you in ruins. 

So when your feelings overwhelm you, when you feel like you’re absolutely bursting at the seams with need, you do what you always do. Torture Minho. 

Your bff is used to you venting to him about your crippling inability to make a move. On anyone. Ever. Over the years, he’s weathered dozens of crushes that never went anywhere because while you’re definitely a total treasure, you lack the confidence to make any of your (usually horny) dreams come true. He’s come to expect the endless text messages you send. 

Except that now, “messages” might not be the right word for them. “Unhinged ravings” might be more accurate. 

Ughhhh he’s so damn fine Today he came home from the gym all sweaty and I nearly offered to give him a bath With my tongue. My TONGUE Minho!

Like he’s always done, Minho bears it all in stride with his usual unwavering compassion.

You’re a lunatic

He doesn’t even try to convince you to say something to Chan about your feelings anymore. Now he just waits for you to exhaust yourself and then he changes the subject. Usually by sending photos of his cats. 

It’s an odd friendship, but neither of you would trade it for anything. 

At the moment, you’re ignoring your pain by lying on your bed, in a tee and sweats, watching a movie on your laptop. You can hear your roommate rummaging around his room. Your apartment features a Jack and Jill bathroom, so it’s easy for you to hear what’s going on next door through the adjoining space.

“Channie, why are you pacing around?” you call out. 

Your phone buzzes. 

Trying to find my shirt  

“Are you seriously texting me from the next room?” Pausing your movie, you trudge through the bathroom. The door to Chan’s room is open so you don’t bother to knock, flopping down on his bed as he digs through his closet. He’s shirtless as usual, blond curls shaking with the force of his rummaging.

“Yeah, sorry, ‘m in a hurry and didn’t want to stop looking,” Chan admits sheepishly, throwing a grin over his shoulder at you. You ignore the fluttering in your stomach and get comfortable, resting your head on your arms.

“You could’ve just said it out loud. I can hear you all over this apartment.” It’s not a big space. Which only amplifies your angst, as it’s hard to escape from your desires when the source of it is just constantly right there. Sprawling out on the tiny couch in the living room. Making himself a midnight snack in the kitchen. Lounging on your bed while you sit at your desk, trying not to stare at his reflection on your screen. “What shirt are you looking for?” 

“My tiger tank.” 

You know the shirt he’s speaking of - his white tank top with an embroidered tiger’s head on the chest. It’s a favorite of yours, cut low enough on the sides and in the front to show off his biceps and pecs at the same time. The first time you’d seen Chan in it, Minho had accused you of being a vampire because you couldn’t stop talking about how much you wanted to nibble on his collarbones. 

“Ah! Found it!” Chan raises the shirt over his head victoriously before yanking it on. He takes a moment to inspect himself in his mirror and you wonder if he truly recognizes just how stunning he is. He catches your eye in the reflection. “What are you up to tonight? Wanna come out with me, ‘Lix, & ‘Bin? We’re gonna get some drinks.”

Sure, you’d love to hang out at the bar with Chan and his friends. They’re always a good time. Except when closing time arrives and once again you’re forced to bear witness to your roommate getting hit on by basically every woman in the bar. Not that you can blame them. But it’s especially awful on the nights when he leaves with someone else. You’d rather not deal with that tonight.

“Nah, I’m just gonna relax. But thanks.” 

“Come on,” he wheedles, plopping down on the bed, hard enough to make you bounce a little. “You haven’t been out with us in ages. Is it the guys? Did one of them say something stupid?” 

“They always say stupid shit. That’s all they ever say,” you crack, smiling when Chan laughs. “But no, it’s nothing like that. I’m just tired.” 

Chan doesn’t say anything, just looks at you for a moment. The silence makes you inexplicably nervous, and you fiddle with his comforter for want of something to do with your hands. But then he just nods. “‘Kay. But if you change your mind, we’ll be down at Back Door.” 

“Thanks.” 

Chan heads into the bathroom to play with his hair. You slip past him, back into your room, throwing yourself dramatically onto your bed and burying your face in a plush pillow. How much longer can you stand this? 

You grab your phone. 

I’m losing my mind

You can practically hear the sigh in Minho’s voice as you read his response. 

What did Chan do now?

He’s getting ready to go out with Felix and Changbin He looks so fucking good in those tight jeans

Minho doesn’t reply. He knows to just let you get it out of your system before responding.

My mouth is literally watering It’s a Pavlovian response at this point I see denim and I start salivating

A text alert pops up in the middle of your thirsty ranting. 

Hey do you mind if I borrow your eyeliner?

“Stop texting me when you’re 10 feet away!” you yell, laughing. Chan pops his head out of the bathroom and flashes you that grin, the one that turns your insides to goo, and you sigh. “Of course you can borrow it, you know you can.” 

Thanks

“Chan!” 

His giggles float through the door and your thumbs fly.

Seriously If Chan doesn’t let me s his d one of these days I will die I will be the first person to die from ineedtosuckadick-itis

There’s a loud clattering in the bathroom, like someone’s knocked half the contents of the crowded sink counter onto the floor. Your makeup isn't cheap, so you hop up off your bed. 

“You okay in there?” The first thing you notice is the pile of smashed cosmetics on the ground. The second thing is the way your roommate is staring at you, eyes wide, sharpened kohl liner still clutched in one hand, phone in the other. “What? What’s wrong?” 

Chan doesn’t speak, but raises his phone and kind of waves it limply. 

Oh god. You were in the wrong chat. You were in the wrong chat and now Chan knows you want to suck his dick. You’ve been texting for most of your life and this is the moment your brain decides to fuck up?!

As Chan continues to stare, you realize you have two choices: fess up and own it, or play dumb.

It’s no choice.

“What, uhhhhhhh, what’s up?” 

Chan gestures to his phone. “You want to suck my dick?” He says the words as if they’re unfamiliar to him, like he’s trying them out for the first time. 

Well, shit, how are you supposed to play dumb if he’s just going to call you right out? 

“Guess the cat’s out of the horny bag now,” you mutter under your breath.

Chan cocks his head. “What?”

“Nothing,” you cough, looking at your own phone. “I mean, uh, noooo, what? Minho and I were just, um, talking about how I want to, uh, sssssss…” you glance wildly around the cramped room, hissing like a frantic snake as you fail to come up with another word that starts with s, before your eyes land on an empty glass sitting by the sink. “…Share a drink with you? Because I’m… thirsty?”

“You’re thirsty?”

Fucking understatement.

You can’t quite read the expression on Chan’s face as he glances between you and his phone. There’s a flash of dom daddy in there and then it’s gone. 

“YN. I know what ‘s his d’ means. Also, you said you had - what did you call it? Ineedtosuckadickitis.” You think Chan’s lips quirk slightly as he reminds you of your textual idiocy, but you’re too busy trying to psychically rip a hole in the floor so you can disappear forever to be certain. “Where do you get your medical info, by the way? I’m starting to worry.” 

He’s making light of the situation, which you would appreciate more if you weren’t sure you’re about to die from embarrassment. Your mind is reeling. There’s no way to get out of this. Any second now, he’s gonna realize how you feel. Then he’s gonna let you down. Gently, you hope. Then you’re gonna need to find a new place to live, because there’s no recovering from this.

“Fine.” You take a deep breath. “Yes, I said it.” Unable to look him in the eye, you focus on your phone as you speak. “I was telling Minho how much I want to suck your dick, because I’m a disgusting horny monster who can’t stop thinking about it. I’m sorry. I’m gonna go pack up my room now.” Shoulders slumping, you slink away, hoping he won’t follow. 

He does. “Wait, what?” 

You don’t answer, heading directly for your closet, tugging at your suitcase where it lies on a shelf, and he crowds into your space, arms reaching out to stop you. 

“Oi, slow down! What are you doing?” 

“I’ll try to be out quickly, so you can find a new roommate right away.” You keep pulling on the suitcase, but it’s futile. He barely has to exert any strength to push it back, so you give up. 

“YN.” Chan places his hands on your shoulders, turning you around. It’s probably the closest you’ve ever been, standing face to face like this, and the nearness of him is a little dizzying. “Back up. You don’t have to go anywhere. Just talk to me.” He lightly guides you over to your bed, taking a seat next to you. “Why do you think I’d want you to leave?” 

“Because I'm a gross little gremlin who can’t stop objectifying you?” you answer honestly. 

Chan’s eyes widen before he bursts into laughter. “You know, you’ve said a lot of bonkers things in the months you’ve been living here, but… how does wanting to suck my dick make you a ‘gross little gremlin?’” 

Oh no. You can feel it bubbling up inside you, all the things you’ve felt. All the things you’ve said. Oh, you’re going to tell him, aren’t you? 

“It’s not just sucking your dick.” Grabbing your phone, you open your chat with Minho again, and begin to read. “‘I need Chan to destroy me. Fully. Like I’m a piece of wood and he’s a lumberjack. Just split me in half. With his hands or his dick, I’m not picky.’” Your entire body radiates with humiliation. You’re a tiny sun made of molecules of mortification, on the verge of going supernova. “Um. That’s one example. And there’s more. A lot more.” 

And then you hand him your phone, looking away as he starts to scroll. 

You stare at the wall, not wanting to see the expression on his face. Until the quiet gets to you, and you give in, peering at him, expecting to find him frozen again, or worse, looking sickened by your words. 

Instead you find him smiling. And then he starts to giggle. 

“‘I’m going feral,” he reads. “‘He’s wearing that beanie again. I- ’” His laughing gets louder as he struggles to finish the thought. “‘I want him to wear me instead.’” He glances up at you, eyes glimmering with way too much amusement. “What does that even mean?!”

You groan, yanking your shirt up to cover your face. “Chan, stop!” He merely laughs harder. How can he be enjoying this? You’ve never known him to be cruel. “I get it, I’m awful, you don’t have to laugh!”

But he keeps chuckling, and then you feel his hands on your hips. Like a bewildered turtle, you poke your head out of your shirt, and he just smiles. 

“C’mere.” He keeps tugging at you until you scoot closer, swinging your legs over his lap, and pulls you in for a hug. 

It’s better than you ever imagined. His strong arms lock around your waist, keeping you in place as his chest continues to rumble with his apparently endless mirth. Tentatively, you let your hands rest on his broad shoulders, afraid that if you cling too tightly, he’ll let go. 

Chan leans back to grin at you. “You’re so fucking cute.” 

You’re so fucking confused. “I am?” 

“Yeah.” His fingers rub light circles into your lower back. The sensation is somehow both soothing and invigorating, sending sparks directly to the heat already simmering in your gut. “Just adorable.” 

You’re not adorable, you’re a dirty little freak whose mind is constantly churning out trash, but if that’s what he wants to believe, you’ll take it.  

“You’re not disturbed by all the things I’ve said?” 

“Disturbed? Nah. I’m used to the crazy shit you say.” He’s got a point. You do say a lot of crazy shit. Just not usually about him to him. “Besides, d’you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to say something?” 

“About your dick??”

Chan tosses his head back, jostling you with his laughter. “No, you maniac, just something in general! Something to tell me that you like me.” When he meets your gaze again, you’re met with that Look™, and this time those sparks head straight for your cunt. “That you want me. Because…” 

He trails off, hands gripping your sides, shifting you. Until you feel it. Poking directly into your thigh. 

“Oh!”

“Yeah. Oh.” Chan licks his lips. When did his eyes get so dark? “Because I want you too, you absolute fruit loop. Took me a minute to get my bearings, wasn’t expecting you to confess it in a text like that, or with those exact words, but…” He smirks. “I’m good now.” 

His thumb traces your jawline before he cups your chin. The gentle touch sends shivers rippling through you. His eyes drop to your lips. 

“You good?” 

Funnily enough, somehow, you are. 

“Yeah. I’m good,” you whisper, tipping forward to close the space between you. 

Amazingly, despite the unyielding need to just yeet yourself onto him, you manage to hold back, simply leaning in to the kiss instead. Those plush lips that you’ve raved about feel unbelievable as they caress yours. So soft and tender, like the warmth spreading through you as he tightens his hold. Then he sucks your bottom lip into his mouth, and you moan, loud and wanton, unable to control the sound, and he drops his hands to your hips again, gripping insistently. 

“C’mere,” he commands again, voice husky as his fingers hook into your sweats. “Come closer.” He exhales heavily. “Please.” 

Please? He has no idea how little he needs to beg right now. As if you’re not dying to get as close as you can! In the blink of an eye, you throw your leg over his, straddling him. His hands wrap around you again, like he can’t stand not having them on you for a second. You understand the feeling. 

You’re bolder now with your kisses, nipping and licking eagerly. A particularly sharp bite on his pouty lip makes him gasp in surprise, and you press your tongue into his mouth, eyes fluttering shut in sheer ecstasy when he sucks in response. The incessant throbbing of your clit is slightly relieved when Chan’s hips buck upwards, pushing his erection against you more firmly. He swallows your whines, breathes them back out in the form of his own groans.

The need for air eventually overwhelms you after a few minutes, and you begrudgingly tear yourself away from his face. 

“Aren’t you going to be late?” you pant, marveling at how red and swollen Chan’s lips are from kissing. The urge to dive back in before you’ve gotten enough oxygen into your system to keep from passing out is strong. “To meet the guys?”

“You really think I’m gonna leave now?” Chan huffs a laugh as he gazes at you from beneath lowered eyelids, looking as dazed as you feel, and you realize, shit, Minho’s right, you are a vampire, and you’re about to eat this man alive. “Fuck no. Besides, what kind of terrible roommate would I be if I left you at death’s door?” 

“If you - what?” 

More high-pitched giggles fill the room. How can he be so cute while actively grinding his cock against you like this? “Your disease. Remember? Ineedadickitis.” 

“I need to suck a dick,” you correct him.

“Oh, do you? Well, go on then.” He cracks up completely, bouncing you with the force of his laughter as you sit there dumbly for half a second before snapping to. 

“You’re so stupid, oh my god!” With a howl, you push him away. He goes easily, until he’s lying on his back on your bed, still cackling while he swats away your fake punches. “I hate you.” 

“No, you don’t.” His fingers lock around your wrists and with a gentle jerk you’re lying on top of him, your arms pinned between you. Before you can try to pretend that he’s wrong, try to mount yet another one of your dumb arguments, despite knowing full well that he's right, he kisses you again. 

As soon as he releases your hands, you tangle them in his hair. His hands trace down your back to grab the swell of your ass, crushing you flat against him, chest to chest. He suddenly breaks off the kiss.

“Are you not wearing a bra?” 

You shake your head and he groans, sitting up, taking you with him. His fingers curl in the hem of your top, twisting it upwards.

“Shirt off. Now.” His voice drops an octave and you shudder, quickly obeying his order. Then you grip his tank top.

“You too.” 

He reaches behind his head to peel the fabric off, tossing it on the floor. Then he lays back, propping himself up on his elbows as you openly gawk at his stomach. 

“Fuck.” He’s transfixed by your chest. 

“Jesus.” You’re mesmerized. From this close, you can see a faint trail of fine hair that runs down, cutting through the carved lines of his abs, like an arrow pointing to your desired destination. “Unreal.” 

“You can touch, if you’d like,” Chan grins up at you, obviously enjoying your reaction. 

You roll your eyes but do anyway, dragging your fingertips over his abs. His stomach twitches beneath your touch. Before you can get too far, he wiggles his hips, playfully jostling you out of your concentration.

“Can I touch, too?” 

“Jesus, yes, of course!” Grabbing his hands, you place one on each breast. “Touch me already!” 

He doesn’t waste any time, rolling your nipples between his fingers, waking the buds. You arch into him, his abs forgotten as he leans forward to take your left breast in his mouth. 

“Shit, Channie,” you whimper, combing his hair out of his face so you can watch him suckle away. He hums into you, swirling his tongue over your nipple, around and around, before dragging his tongue across to the other breast. 

“You like that, baby?” he asks, covering your chest with kisses. 

Baby? Did he really just call you baby? Is this really happening, or did you slip into one of your daydreams again? 

Nope, the hard dick rolling into the apex of your thighs as you grind down on him feels pretty real. You can’t help but moan, wondering what he looks like under those tight jeans. Is he as thick as you imagine? 

Wait, why are you still trying to imagine anything? He’s literally underneath you right now.

Your hand splays on his torso as you guide him onto his back again. Slowly, you lower yourself over him, and drag your mouth down his neck. Clearly, you’d interrupted his going out routine earlier, because he’s not wearing his normal cologne right now. Instead, the heady scent you inhale as you stick your nose into the hollow of his clavicles is pure Chan, musky and comforting. 

“Ah, that tickles!” he hisses. 

“Sorry.” You press a heavy kiss to his collarbone. “Is that better?” He nods, right before you sink your teeth in.

“Nnngh!” He lets out a throaty groan as you happily suck a love bite into his delicate skin. God, the noises this man makes! You want to record them and play them on a loop. 

You slip further down, dragging your fingernails over one of Chan’s nipples, watching his face for his reaction. A tiny “oh!” escapes him, and you repeat the motion, grinning when his back lifts off the bed. Sensitive. This is going to be fun. 

Chan raises his head when you start to kiss his abs, taking the time to lick along the ridges as you go, the salty tang of his sweat lingering on your lips. When your hands play with the skin above his waistband, he clears his throat. “You know, you don’t have to do this, just because of that text.” 

“Are you kidding me?” You pause with your fingers on the button of his fly. “You want me to stop now?” 

“I just don’t want you to think I expect anything.” Although his voice is a little shaky, like he’s trying to calm himself down, you hear the sincerity in his words. The sweetness. That warmth inside you roars into a flame. 

“Channie. I want this. Do you want this?” 

He nods. “Yeah.”

“Thank god,” you sigh, unzipping his fly.  He helps you peel off his tight jeans and you make quick work of his silk boxers beneath. Nudging his legs apart, you kneel between them 

For a moment just you stare at the sight in front of you. You were right. He’s thick. Maybe a little longer than most of the dicks you’ve been happy to be acquainted with, maybe not, but definitely thicker. 

You want to sit on him so bad. But first you want to please him, want to taste him. So much want. 

While you’re dicknotized, Chan stuffs your pillows under his head so he can have a better angle. You glance at his face and find him biting his lip, eyes looking a little desperate. He doesn’t say anything, just watches you. 

Might as well put him out of his misery. With a lick of your palm, you wrap your hand around him, and pump a few shallow strokes. He grunts at the sudden slickness, abdomen jumping slightly. 

“Ah, baby, just like that,” he says, eyes closing when you roll your thumb over the tip a few times. “Shit.” 

Your tongue darts out to follow, dipping around the head and back over, before you take it into your mouth. Just the tip, bobbing off, then a little more, then again. Each time you sink lower, he sighs. 

“Fuck, that feels so good. Keep going, take it all in.” 

Oh god, is he a talker? You’re already impossibly wet. You can’t possibly handle getting any more aroused. 

While your mouth is occupied, you lift your leg so you’re straddling one of Chan’s, resting a palm on his big thigh. You have obsessed over his thighs since the day you moved in. You refer to them as “the thunder from down under” in your texts to Minho. And here they are now, so strong and sturdy beneath you. Wild. 

Chan hisses when you deepthroat him, brushing your nose against his pelvis. Even though you pride yourself on your dick-sucking skills, you can’t help but choke slightly. More saliva floods into your mouth, and you swallow around him. 

“Oh, shit!” His hips rise up a little. You use both hands, one trying to hold him down by his hip while the other strokes in tandem with your mouth. There’s drool everywhere, and the sounds the wetness makes sounds lewd even for porn. “Baby, this mouth of yours! Feels better than I ever imagined.”

Air rushes into your lungs as you pull off, replacing your mouth with your other hand. “You thought about this?” He fantasized about you, too?

“Oh fuck yeah,” he growls. “All the time. Thought those pretty lips would look so good choking on me, and I was right.” He thrusts a little, rocking his dick up into your slippery grip. “Used to dream about fucking it.”

You moan so brokenly, he looks at you in concern. 

“Please,” you lick his darkened head almost frantically, “do it.” 

Chan studies you for a moment, brows knitting together, before he pushes your head down. 

“That’s it, go down for me,” he directs you, and you listen. “Just stay there. Let me do the work now.” 

He starts slowly, tilting his pelvis a little, fucking up into your waiting mouth. Then he cants his hips a little faster. His breathing gets heavier the harder he thrusts. Once he finds a steady rhythm, he lays his hand on the back of your head keeping you exactly where he wants you. 

You squirm restlessly as Chan fucks your throat. Having your roommate use your mouth as a sex toy is incredibly hot. Finally, you slide your hand into your sweats to give yourself some relief. Your clit is engorged, practically beating like a heart between your fingers. You let out a pleased moan, vibrating down Chan’s cock. 

“Do that again, baby.” 

You’re not denying this man anything. Again and again, you make him curse as your hums resonate across his sensitive skin. He trembles a little, and it’s intoxicating to think that you might be breaking down this big, strong roommate of yours, reducing him to a quivering mess.

At the very least, it’s something to aim for. 

Chan praises you again. “God damn it, that’s good. Gonna make me cum with that pretty mouth.” 

You suck and swallow and moan and rub yourself, feeling Chan’s thigh flex beneath you, and it hits you what he said, that you’re about to get Chan off, you, so you reach out, raking your hand up the inside of his thigh until you find his balls, squeezing gently.

“I’m gonna cum, shit, ’m gonna cum,” he moans, words slurring together. “Where, baby?” 

You stop touching yourself so you can grip the hand of his that rests on your head. He gets the point, pace not slowing, and with a few more powerful pumps, and some stuttered exhalations, he fills your mouth. You take it all, swallowing noisily and gasping for breath once he pulls out. 

“Fuckin’ hell.” 

He laughs as he says it. Your shoulders shake as you half-laugh, half-wheeze, slumping over on Chan’s thigh.

“Is that a compliment?”

“Fuck yeah,” he grins. “And I’m guessing from the sounds you were making, you enjoyed that as well? Just maybe not quite as much as me?”

You shrug. “I got what I wanted.”  

“Yeah, okay, maybe, but I bet you’d like more, hmm?” Without waiting for a response, he swiftly flips you onto your back. Just hauls you right over like you’re made of feathers. A rash of ridiculously giddy giggles burst past your lips, but they die away when he crawls up your body, the power of his gaze pinning you in place, and drops hungry lips onto yours.

Immediately, you surge up into him, pressing as close as you can. Both of you are glistening with sweat, his hair sticking to his face and yours as he licks into your mouth, hot and wet. You’re drowning in him. It’s everything you ever wanted. How the fuck can you possibly want more? But you do, and this feeling makes itself known as you start to whimper needily.

Chan’s hand quickly locates your breast, tenderly cupping your flesh. “Have I told you how fucking gorgeous you are? So pretty.”

You preen at his words, humming contentedly. Fuck. Do you have a praise kink, or is it just that Chan’s the one saying these words that is getting you more worked up? You roll your hips, seeking friction, and Chan’s hand slides downward until he reaches where you need him.

“Oh, baby, so wet,” he says, voice hushed, almost reverent. “Just dying to be touched, yeah? Let me help you.”

With sure movements, lithe fingers stroke along your lips, opening you up. Fingertips squeeze your clit, playing with the aching pearl, causing you to squeal, and you could die, having made such a sound, except you’ve clearly already died and gone to heaven.

Even as his hand rubs, his lips never leave yours. You thrash in his grip when he slides a finger inside you, finding your g-spot with surprising quickness and pressing the fuck out of it, and he still chases your mouth, covering your chin in kisses. Your legs kick out as he alternates between fondling your clit and stroking your walls, until he suddenly stops, pulling his fingers out so he can rid you of your sweats. 

“You still with me?” he asks, kneeling between your legs, and you wonder if you look as wrecked as you feel, sucking in air like a fish. You must be a mess, if your appearance matches how you feel. But you’re also excruciatingly aroused and frustrated, so close to coming that you’re ready to blow.

“Yes. I’m here, I’m good.” 

“Good.” The Look™️ is back. He grabs your legs and bends them, pushing your thighs into your torso. “Here. Be a good girl and hold these.”

Yes, daddy. You bite your tongue to keep from screaming the words, and grasp your legs behind your knees, pulling them to the side as much as you can, opening you up wide.

“Yes, Channie.”

He smiles at that, eyes so dark you can almost see yourself. “So good for me. Hold tight, baby.” 

He sticks out his tongue, eyebrows cocking as he dives down, tracing your folds lightly before flattening the pink muscle and dragging it heavily upwards. You keen as his hot mouth suctions onto your clit. He rolls your clit around with his tongue before flicking it in a quick motion, over and over. 

“Jesus!” You’re a live wire, muscles jolting and twitching. As he continues working over the tiny bundle of nerves, his fingers slip inside you again, two this time, scissoring you apart, making room for his tongue. 

You gasp as he plunges inside, tracing your inner walls. He’s so loud, the noises his mouth makes as he sucks and laps, and messy, too, slick dripping from his chin when he lifts his face, making sure you’re watching him. Of fucking course you’re watching him. There’s literally nothing else in the world you’d rather be looking at right now than Bang Chan, the hottest man in the galaxy, devouring your pussy like it’s his last meal. 

“Tastes so good,” he rasps, turning his face to press sloppy kisses to your inner thigh. “Think you can hold out a little longer? Let me enjoy, yeah?” 

At this point, you’re a fucking tinderbox, one spark and you’ll explode, but sure, why not let the man enjoy himself a little more? 

“O-okay,” you stutter weakly. “I’ll… try.” You bite your lip. “But maybe…” 

Chan brushes his lips over your slit. With a shaky hand, you let your left leg go so you can reach out, brushing some damp locks off his forehead, and he looks at you. 

“Maybe a little slower?” you ask. 

He smiles, nodding a little. “Got ya.” 

Instead of pulling your hand back, you thread your fingers into his hair, and he hums, burying his face again. Only now, his tongue rolls slowly over your cunt, languidly, each pass taking longer and longer. He still keeps the pressure up, makes sure he’s pushing just as firmly against your sensitive folds, still fucks his tongue into you just as deeply as he was before, but now his movements aren’t so frenzied. They feel purposeful, like he’s intent on savoring the moment. 

And you realize you should, too. So you barely blink as you observe everything he does - every kiss, every groan, every time his eyes close. You try to commit it all to memory, so you can relive this moment over and over again. In case this is it.

Chan keeps humming, not so much a melody as just wordless sounds, getting louder when your thighs start to squeeze a little. Your hand grips the roots of his hair, not so much guiding him as hanging on. Until he takes your clit in his mouth again, and you cry out, holding him in place. 

“Right there, Channie, please!” Your voice breaks as you beg him not to stop. He doesn’t let up, not even when you release your death grip on your right leg, letting it fall over his shoulder like the other one. You dig your fingers into the blanket beneath you, fisting the material. “Fuck, just like that!” 

Your hips rise off the bed as you start to hump his face, grinding harder and harder. Chan slides his fingers back into your already clenching hole and finds your g-spot again. You wail helplessly, mind already going, body not far behind, as your muscles start to contract, everything tightening - 

“Fuuuuck!” 

With a loud groan, you come all over Chan’s face. He keeps tonguing your clit through your orgasm, but has to use his hands to hold your thighs open so he doesn’t asphyxiate. You tug at his hair, riding out the waves of bliss on his mouth. 

When you finally relinquish your grasp on his head, he stops. He slides your legs from his arms, then sits back on his heels to examine his handiwork.

You’re a limp noodle. No bones. No muscles. Couldn’t move if you tried. Your climax completely wiped you out, leaving nothing behind. But you’re a very happy noodle, practically purring as you smile at the ceiling. 

Chan, on the other hand. Chan appears to be ready for the next round. A point made obvious by the massive erection he’s again sporting. You blink at him a few times. 

“I’m going to need a minute.”

He laughs, draping himself over you, arm slung over your stomach, head on your shoulder. “Nah mate, you’re done.” 

A rather petulant whine bubbles up from deep within you. “Nooo, I’m good, I’m good!” 

You try to reach for his dick, but he catches your hand, lacing his fingers through yours. Which is a surprisingly sweet move, but not what you want right now. It’s not that you don’t want to cuddle with him - if he asked, you’d wrap yourself like a blanket around him and snuggle him for hours.

It’s that you’re not ready for this moment to be over. 

“Relax,” he laughs. “Plenty of time for that later. Just rest for a bit.” 

“Later?" There’s gonna be a later?

Chan kisses your neck lightly. “Yeah, later. Not done with you yet, baby.” 

You sigh, bringing a hand up to stroke his back. Okay. Maybe a little nap is fine. If there’s going to be a later. 

Fuck, you can’t wait to text Minho. 

Masterlist 💜 Find me on AO3 💜 

© 2023 by minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost.

I don't feel right tagging my usual tl since that was for my BTS writing, so I'm just gonna tag some moots that I think might like this:

@moni-logues @yoongimingyu @borahae-k @nabiolive @jikooknoona @sowoozoo-7 @eoieopda @here4btsfics @candlewaxandp0lar0ids @ballelino @starlostjimin @augustbutwinter @blueversaillesdreams @hobivore @hobi-gif @seokjinger-ale @hannahbee12719 feel free to tell me if I'm way off base, no pressure to actually read! 💕

[annebd]

2024 fic wrapped

i was tagged by the lovely @pitforwets to share some fave fics from 2024! this was especially difficult because i joined f1 fandom in late 2023 and only really started reading fic in earnest in january of this year, which means that this is basically "choose your five fave f1 fics you've ever read." that's hard! with that in mind, this list is nowhere close to exhaustive of the amazing list of fics i've read this year. but in keeping with a list of five, here we go (in no particular order):

icarus by @eirianerisdar. i discovered this fic sometime in the spring. i specifically remember being so engrossed in it that first day that i stayed up until nearly 4 in the morning reading it, and i had to call off work the next day because i was so exhausted (shhhh, don't tell my boss!). it's wing!fic, to reduce it to its absolute most basic form, but it's infinitely more than that. the characterization and worldbuilding are a masterclass. the scene where seb walks through the track picking up feathers lives rent free in my mind. (as does the scene where daniel is a wiggly worm whose newly grown feathers are itchy. if you want a fic to have you giggling and sobbing in equal measure, this is the one)

Hey, Remember That Time by @powerful-owl. i'm not 100% sure, but i'm fairly certain that this is the first of em's fics that i read. and what an amazing introduction! i definitely know that it's the one that made me reach out to say hi on tumblr, and i'm so glad that i did! daniel has amnesia, and max runs an inn- what more could you ask for? one of my favorite parts of this fic is the way em writes charles- he's such a little weirdo, and i adore him beyond measure. also, there's a scene where max describes daniel's own dick to him, and boy howdy. it's a good scene, is what i'm saying.

Breaking Every Rule For You by @magicalrocketships. maxiel exchange dick pics. that's it, that's the post. but to be serious, this fic is 150k words of some of the hottest sex (and preludes to sex) you'll ever read, interspersed with genuinely incredible character growth and exploration. honestly, this fic makes me want to learn to be a better writer. each time a new chapter came out, i would devour it and think "god, i wish i could do that."

there's glitter on the floor after the party by @fiveredlights. there are few things that i'm weaker for than a well written epistolary/social media fic, and there is no one out there who does it quite like five! their writing is amazing, every single time, and the care that goes into crafting these fics is unbelievable. i'm reccing this particular fic because it's the first of their fics i'd ever read, but this is actually a rec for everything they've published, because every single fic is one banger after another. also, after the actual events of this year in real life, i'd much rather sink into the world of this fic and pretend this is how things went down with daniel's career instead.

Get It Right Back by @overtake. have i mentioned that i'm a sucker for a social media fic? because i am. and this fic has the perfect combo of traditional fic structure intertwined with social media elements. it's very newly published and has already worked its way up my faves list. another fantastic example of a fic running me through an entire rainbow of emotion. special shoutout to all the scenes between max, daniel, and max's nephews. the cuteness is too much to bear.

tagging everyone who wants to do their own wrapped list! this was so hard, but what a fun look back at the year. <3

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Glynis Johns (Mary Poppins, The Court Jester)—LISTEN, I'd let that woman's voice with all its gravely hoarseness (positive) wash over me all goddamn day, but if that's not enough she managed to play the straight woman to Danny Kaye's jester, all with her cleavage so plunging it might as well have been catapulted into the ocean right after Basil Rathbone

Eartha Kitt (Anna Lucasta, St. Louis Blues)—My friend and I have a saying: NOBODY is Eartha Kitt. A thousand have tried, and they've all come up empty and will continue to do so. Everyone knows her for something: from "Santa Baby" to Yzma in Emperor's New Groove to Catwoman to making Lady Bird Johnson cry for the Vietnam War. She was a master of comedy and sex, an extremely vocal activist, and she aged like fine wine... I honestly don't know what I can say about her that hasn't already been said, so I'll stick to linking all my propaganda. Like what else do you want from me. She was iconic at everything she ever did. Literally name another. How can anyone even think of her and not want to absolutely drown?

This is round 4 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Glynis Johns:

She walks the line between sexy and cute. Her best role for me is in "The Court Jester as Maid Jean. She's fantastic as the soft but tough captain of the outlaw band and she looks stunning in every gown she wears throughout the film. And of course we can't forget her iconic turn as the suffragette mother, Mrs. Banks, in Mary Poppins! Also shoutout to her distinctive and beautiful voice, kind of smoky and husky. Extremely hot and set her apart from many of her peers."

"She was amazing in Mary Poppins (the Suffragette song is severely underrated) and apparently she was Welsh? National pride! And she advocated for arts funding in Wales, which is very cool. Also, she died recently (RIP) making her one of the last survivors of the Golden Age of Hollywood, according to Wikipedia. Also also, she just has a cheeky energy I like? And her eyes are beautiful!"

"She had this wonderful wit and charm to her no matter the role and the most distinctive, striking voice!"

"I mean, incredibly beautiful and talented, can do drama can do comedy. And she was a mermaid."

"Like Bette Davis she has eyes to die for. Unlike Bette Davis you felt comforted by them, even when she was batting her eyelashes at you. Would glady go to Downing Street with her and throw things at the Prime minister"

"Listen, listen. I was raised on Mary Poppins and "Votes for women! (step in time)" single-handedly taught me how to be a feminist. Also The Court Jester is one of my favourite movies of all time and she is UNBELIEVABLY gorgeous, charismatic, funny, and clever in it. She knocks several men out. Absolute icon."

"I love Glynis Johns. Most of the reason is The Court Jester where she's a sensible and capable foil to whatever what going on with Danny Kaye at the time. She was also the first star I based an OC on. An OC that I still have to this day! Anyway here have some YouTube links love u bye"

Mermaid clip:

Court Jester (sharing a bed trope):

Court Jester (seducing the king):

"VOTES FOR WOMEN! Well, votes for this woman. Please."

Eartha Kitt:

"A hot vintage woman who was not just known for her voice, beauty, poise, and presence, but also her unapologetic ways of speaking about how she was mistreated in the show business as a girl who grew up on cotton fields in South Carolina in the 1930s through the 1940s coming to Broadway first and then Hollywood."

"Have you watched her sing?? Have you seen her face?? Have you heard her talk?? How could you not fall instantly in love. She makes me incoherent with how hot she is."

"She can ACT she can SING she can speak FOUR LANGUAGES she is a GODDESS!!! Although she is (rightfully) remembered for her singing, TV appearances (Catwoman my beloved), and later film roles, her early appearances in film are no less impressive or noteworthy!! She’s an amazing actress with so much charisma in every role. She was also blacklisted from Hollywood for 10 years for criticizing the Johnson administration/Vietnam War, so. Iconic. Also Orson Welles apparently called her “the most exciting woman in the world.”

"She had such a stunning, remarkable appearance, like she could tear you to shreds with just a glance- but the most undeniable part of her hotness was her voice, and it makes sense that it's what most people nowadays know her for. Nothing encapsulates the sheer magnetism of her singing better than this clip of her and Nat King Cole in St. Louis Blues, she pops in at 2:49. Also I know it's post-1970 but her song that was cut from Emperor's New Groove is likely to make you feel Feelings."

Even with as racist as Hollywood was in the 1950s and 60s, Eartha Kitt STILL managed to have a thriving career. She also once had a threesome with Paul Newman and James Dean, and called out LBJ over the Vietnam War so hard that it made First Lady Johnson cry. Eartha Kitt was talented, sexy, and a total badass activist.

[wowthosearebigears]

I’m having Big Feelings about young elves in the First Age and I’m gonna make it everyone’s problem.

We all know the War of the Jewels was a cascade of brutality, destruction, and tragedy. The First Age was so dark it honestly makes Game of Thrones look like an episode of Teletubbies. And the thing that really gets me about the sheer magnitude of its death and violence is that it forced incredibly young elves to shoulder the fate of Arda.

So many older, wiser elves were killed. Huge swathes of generations of the Eldar were wiped out: Finrod, Turgon, Fingon, Fingolfin, Orodreth, Finduilas, Thingol, Dior, Nimloth, Ecthelion, Luthien, Glorfindel. And so it fell to the youngest of the elves to lead the resistance against Morgoth, specifically Gil Galad, Eärendil, and Elwing.

Elves come to maturity slowly, in proportion to their long lives. By some sources, they aren’t considered fully mature until they’re around a century old. But Gil Galad was only 55 when Turgon died and he received the High Kingship of the Noldor. It should have passed to someone else. It would have… if all the other heirs weren’t dead. At such a young age, recently orphaned after a childhood as a refugee, he had to lead the Noldor through the War of Wrath.

Eärendil and Elwing were only 39 when they absconded with a Silmaril and sailed to Valinor to beg the Valar for an army. They were newlyweds by elven standards, had very young twins (Elrond and Elros), and sailed West knowing the penalty for a mortal setting foot in Aman was death. But they didn’t have a choice. Mustering the Valar was the only thing that would save Middle Earth from Morgoth.

They were basically teenagers taking the lead in fighting an apocalyptic war. And they WON. But the cost was incredible—Beleriand was shattered and sank into the sea, unbelievable magnitudes of elves and men died in battle, Eärendil and Elwing were separated forever from their sons, Gil Galad probably ended up with elvish PTSD and spent the rest of his life shouldering the High Kingship (people complain about him having resting bitch face and being kind of a stern dick in TROP, and I just want to scream “Do you know what he’s been through???”).

It just gets me that the fate of the Eldar in the First Age was decided by adolescents who never even saw the light of the Trees.

[forasteros-dot-fly]

i keep seeing people complain about how long silksong is taking but i don't think people really get it team cherry took only 3 years to create one of the best metroidvanias of all time i know that sounds like a lot of time but for something as intricately designed as hollow knight its honestly unbelievably impressive not to mention there was a ton of cut content they wanted to add but had to prioritize release dates just imagine what they could make with less time constraints! and also, you know, without everyone shouting at them i get it if you're really looking forward to the game, i am too! everyone is! but it seems silly to try to rush them. they're already an incredible dev team, the only thing they need is more time. after hollow knight, it's only fair we give that to them.

[eggyboyoart]

NU: carnival harem and if they would/would not fuck their clone

[RATED +18]

EIDEN;

yes. he is unbelievably pro clone-fucking. he canonically fucks his clone (SSR Salacious King). While I haven't got Salacious King and idk what the intimacy rooms are; I know for a fact that Eiden (both of them) are having the time of their kinky little lives.

I imagine that they’re both teasing and confident, manoeuvring around each other with expert ease. Since eiden himself is incredibly versatile already, its not hard for them to fall into a sexy rhythm...

Eiden is also pro clansmembers-fucking-his-own-clone-in-front-of-him and pro clones-fucking-the-clansmembers (my boy is versatile).

ASTER;

Aster is pro clone-fucking in the way that both him and his clone are ganging up on Eiden or Morvay. Imagine with me; one Aster behind Eiden, nibbling on his neck and the other in the front - torturing him with some toys. Thats Aster, baby.

They end up with their focus split, torn between watching their partner fall apart beneath them and sneaking glances toward his clone while hes not looking – secretly checking himself out.

Eiden ends up covered in bites and passed out from exhaustion at the end :))

MORVAY;

YES YES YES YES YES YES

THEY GET SO FREAKY. mmm incubus x incubus.. it starts off a little hesitant, with both of them wondering if they could feed off each other’s ‘essence’ and soon after - like Aster, they both ALSO end up ganging up on Eiden – damn near fist-fighting each other to get to Eiden’s ‘prize jewels’.

Eiden ends up ABSOLUTELY exhausted at the end. Its like that meme with the shriveled up man next to other person sleeping.

this isn't the exact meme, but its the same vibe.

YAKUMO;

ohh.. sweet baby yakumo..

hes so hesitant, he most likely got the idea from Eiden asking both Yakumos to double-team him. Yakumo usually struggles with 'possessive' snake instincts and weirdly enough, its the same with his own clone (despite the fact they're the same person lol).

however.. a little after Yakumo x Eiden x Yakumo's Clone.. both yakumos sneak off into the night for some 'private exploration'.. neither of them speak of it out of pure embarrassment, but the suspiciously snake-shaped bite marks on each other’s neck do not go unnoticed..

EDMOND;

hes offended that you would even suggest such a thing. he is a righteous man of noble intentions, he would never even think of such perverted acts- get your mind out of the gutter, you scoundrel-!

while edmond doesn't necessarily feel attracted to himself sexually, neither of the vice-captains can resist sneaking a little peak around the back.. but overall, nothing beyond some subtle glances.

eiden tries to convince them both for some 'regulation' but he doesn't get very far when two blushing swordsmen put their blades up to his throat.. (better luck next time, big man)

OLIVINE;

... :3

this busty priest has probably never really thought about his own attractiveness too much but... is his chest really that voluptuous?

honestly? olivine is probably the one to bring this up to eiden. both priests approach the grand sorcerer quietly in the evening, mumbling about 'essence regulation'.. thats really just an excuse though. hes both insanely embarrassed and intensely aroused at his own sounds and squirming body ('does he really sound like that?').

eiden also has a good time when he gets to see two busty priests pressed up against each other and making out (LUCKY BITCH)

QUINCY;

ahh yes, our resident bear..

i don't believe he would be particularly interested in fucking his own clone, unfortunately. I just don’t think that he is his own type.. but, with a low mumble of 'troublesome..', he could be convinced/teased into tag-teaming eiden or a certain cheeky fox..

in this situation, i imagine one quincy leant back against the headboard, eiden/kuya on top of him and the other quincy behind eiden/kuya with double penetration orr.. both quincys spitroasting eiden/kuya :))

either way, the clones are less focused on each other and more focused on their partner.

KUYA;

soo, the myth, the man, the legend - our local mischievous fox yokai..

i believe this would start off relatively simply, with both kuyas ganging up/sexually torturing eiden in possessive competition. similarly to yakumo, his jealous instincts are not curbed when faced with his own clone and they both spend the whole time exchanging quips and witty remarks while just plowing eiden.

but after.. i believe both kuyas sneak off to 'hate-fuck' essentially. its bitter, aggressive and honestly violent with how rough they get with each other and in the end.. i don't think there is a winner here.

GARU;

okay.. desperate bottom x desperate bottom AHH-

its wild how they go at each other.. honestly, eiden probably walks in on them frotting – the room thick with the scent of sweat and slick and a sight so erotic that eiden is mystically compelled to join (honestly bro? me too).

honestly, if i can get a little 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂.. its wet. they're both drooling, from their mouth and.. down there.. and honestly, eiden is too. and if both wolf yokai desperately cling to their master, whining so sweetly.. who is he to deny them?

KARU;

honestly? I do believe that within karu is a man capable of being on top. It takes a lot, some self-given pep-talk and enough teasing – I do genuinely believe karu would be able to successfully dominate someone, though in more of a ‘whimpery top’ kind of style..

that’s sort of what happens when eiden tries to get under both karu’s skin, sliding up to them with his usual audacity. Eventually, both karus come to a mutual agreement that there is strength in numbers and agree to take the grand sorcerer down.

It ends in a similar position as quincy’s – spitroasting eiden though with a lot more whimpering and drooling from all parties involved.

BLADE;

My other, beautiful pookie..

This story starts with some good old fashioned exploration. At first, its purely curiosity – poking and prodding at each other with eager fingers and excitable eyes. But once one of them press on a particularly sensitive spot, its all over for them. Once one of the e-droids gets the idea, the other is all too eager to delve right into the good stuff.

Eiden probably walks in on them right in the middle of the act – the two tangled up and sweaty, and they’re more than happy to extend a hand to their darling~

DANTE;

The identical Sun Lords are appalled at the very idea. They are not interested in each other like that, at all – and truthfully, they end up barely getting along due to both of their stubborn natures.

Though, the one thing they can agree on is that eiden needs to be taken down a peg. This probably ends up as a mixture of Quincy and Kuya’s scenarios – with both Sun Lord’s less focused on each other but more so on tormenting the frustrating ‘grand sorcerer’.

Spitroasting is probably the way to go here, with eiden’s mouth being put to ‘better uses’.. it looks like they’re finally getting along :))

REI;

(I don’t know much about rei so forgive me lol)

Fascinating.. they spend a majority of the time researching each other, jotting down notes and findings as they debate and theorise. Eventually (to no ones surprise), this research ends up becoming ‘research’ – if you know what I mean, wink wink, nudge nudge..

Interestingly enough, I don’t see eiden being involved at all here, nor do I see either of them topping the other.. I think its mostly ‘experiments’ that rei more-so wanted to perform on himself, that has now been made easier using his body double.

Either way, with both intelligent minds - their time researching has actually proven to be rather productive, which leads rei to seriously consider finding a way to regularly clone himself..

[batcrooks]

THE BATCROOKS AWARDS 2024

After keeping meticulous notes on every Media Property™ I consumed in 2024, here is my roundup of the BESTS!! It should probably be one thing per category but I couldn't decide so it's lots actually. And I broke down video games into so many categories because I play a lot of video games!!!

Best Movie I Watched for the First Time in 2024 (Live Action and Animated Categories)

What I wrote about them: Parasite - sooo good so tense and dark and funny? Isle of Dogs - what a DELIGHT. it was so fun to watch this film, i didn't want it to end. the animation was so good. the logistics behind the making of this movie are simply unbelievable. i can't believe this isn't a more beloved film.

Best TV Show I Watched in 2024 (Broadcast and Internet Categories)

What I wrote about them: Severance - SOO GOOD what a FUN SHOW. it has all the good tenseness of a thriller but it's also so funny in its absurdity. i must know more!! the work is mysterious and important Game Changer (season 6) - this season is very high concept. there have been some very funny ones and a couple eh. Sam Says 3 and the one where they had to find the buzzers were both top 5 episodes

Best Video Game (Multiplayer)

What I wrote about them: V Rising - VAMPIRES!! i loved this game for its tight and unwavering focus on being about vampires. you could build a house but it was always, always a vampire house. you can have a horse but it is a vampire horse. incredible. pretty cool combat and magical spells, some questionable level-up mechanics. mostly fun boss fights almost completely ruined by the final Dracula fight being so so overpowered. really enjoyed this one thanks Abiotic Factor - this has been a very cool survival crafting game, maybe one of the best. it reminds me of a lot of different games. mechanically it feels a bit like Raft, in that it has very unique setting and base building and a narrative thread and handcrafted things to explore. of course it has all the half life vibes but also way more SCP stuff than i would have expected and that's great because it is always fun. as of writing we are doing the reservoir section, which has been a lot more stressful than previous sections, but i think we'll probably get through it alright. with only a few exceptions (how long it took to unlock food recipes for example), the progression of craftables has been good. for the mostpart, resources haven't been very annoying to obtain (other than silver and carbon). the vibes are just so good throughout and so many things have been delightful. since it is early access, i'm not going to knock a star off for the Issues. it is an optimistic five stars. about 52 hours and we have completed all the early access. genuinely sad to stop playing it so i guess it was good!! the last chapter was a bit stressful but it was fun how many new gadgets we got to play with for a little while there. anyway it is now tied with v rising for best multiplayering of 2024

(have a lot to say about video games)

Best Video Game (Cat Plays) (Games I Played With an Audience) (Of Sourdeer)

What I wrote about them: The Roottrees are Dead - so good, better than Hand With Many Fingers. hope more games like this keep existing. the amount of info you got to trawl through was so fun. honestly considering replaying it when the steam remake comes out someday, which seems crazy for a mystery game but there was so much i doubt i'll remember everything. Lorelei and the Laser Eyes - a little heavy on the kind of arbitrary spookiness? I dunno how to explain it but it just often feels like games are spooky Just Because sometimes. The same as feeling like this and other games try to tackle high brow stuff Just Because. and the control scheme is WHACK lol. if it just had a "back out" button it would be fine tho. but this is another game that has made me feel so clever very often. it helps to play with multiple people contributing to the tricksy puzzles. It does seem to be a very meta video game which would be fine but it actually doesn't seem relevant to anything? The instruction booklet, the gameboy game of the maze, the ps1 games, the implication that the video game we are playing right now is also licensed in universe. It's INTERESTING but what does it have to do with the auteur filmmaker and the death of materialism and whatever they go on about all the time. But I'm really liking it so far. A good variety of puzzlers and lots to look into, have only felt stuck a few times. Comically long to-do list though. Could have maybe used more elegant level design? Only deal with one floor at a time maybe? Or at least less. But maybe having so many floating mysteries is part of the vibe actually. in the end i think it is firmly in the second tier of plays game, Very Good with a few flaws. most appreciated for being a rather long puzzle game. more of those please

Best Video Game (Sour Plays) (Games Sourdeer Played With an Audience) (Of me)

What I wrote about them: Hypnospace Outlaw - watched sour play. what a WEIRD THING!!! it was so finely crafted which is funny to say about something so absurd, but they really didn't skimp on anything in this. it really rewards exploring everything, and while i feel like it was maybe a little too loose i think there was just enough guidance with the cases to get you through the story that was happening. very chaotic The Rise of the Golden Idol - while i think overall it is not as good as the first one, i think that is mostly just because the first one was a brand new thing that shocked and awed us. the art style was a bit of a downgrade but still had the expected Vibes and the mysteries were just as satisfying to put together (if not as Cool thematically). i'm very glad to have future installments to look forward to. i can't even rate it a star lower because the gameplay is so good. i love golden idol. I.D.O.L.

Best Video Game (Singleplayer)

What I wrote about them: Dredge - really good!! addictive. 100%'d it Arco - i really liked it!! it was like a combo of West of Loathing and Chroma Squad gameplay-wise. it was really good stories and characters i liked them a lot. the pixels were so cute. i accidentally devoured the whole thing (about 13 hours) so fast but i think theres some replayability there sometime. make a few different choices and see what happens. Animal Well - a DELIGHT!! this game had moments where you felt soooo clever but it did also have some times that were a little hard or fiddly. i loved how it had no (very little) music but so much atmosphere. it was very pretty to look at. the backtracking could be annoying sometimes. but i like that it explained nothing and you could still figure out so much. i've gotten to the credits now as of writing (7.5 hours) but i know there's probably a lot hidden around i will try to find some. i see you smiley faces. i just have to remember how to get back to you. 10 hours later: i have gotten all the achievements which is 100%. to me. sourdeer had to help me get the last ten eggs but i think that overall it was a good difficulty throughout. if you dont try to do the rabbits and all the stuff sour is telling me about that is after even the second credits. so a Nice Game, Brent (Billy Basso)

Best Book I Read for the First Time in 2024

What I wrote about them: Children of Time - considering making this a top ten book. i really liked this one. (editor's note: there are diminishing returns on the sequels. The first one is so fun and innovative, but I don't recommend them past that. The second one is OK) Return of the Thief - yaay a satisfying ending :) it was really bold to introduce an entirely new character to be the POV for the last book in a series but it worked out really well i thought. a good character. everything all tied up in the end :) sad to finish, these were a lot of fun. it is sad that not a single one of these had a female POV. Eddis and Attolia were great but compared to the towering amount of male characters it doesn't seem great. but it is forgiveable. finally someone was gay in this one. so that's nice lol. (editor's note: i read this entire series for the first time this year and have chosen the final as the representative.) Assassin's Quest - Oh ok we are serious now!!! Actually fundamentally a bit less serious because there are dragons now but it made it work. Ended really bittersweet and if I didn't know the characters will return someday I would have been pretty thoroughly bummed out about it. Excellent fun book really elevated the other two. Fantasy books really get you drinking the divine right of kings koolaid. Will start on the next trilogy now, have no idea what to expect from it except that it isn't about any of these characters afaik but same world. It has been a real treat to stumble on to long completed series this year. (editors note: final book to a trilogy)

And that's it!! If you want to see every media I consumed this year and my star ratings and comments about them, here's a link to them! (It's a spreadsheet)

[quatregats]

There’s been a lot of (very excellent!) discussion recently about Brigid and Stephen and how much she’s loved, and I feel like that’s a very good segue into a topic which I’ve been musing over for a while: namely, Patrick O’Brian’s treatment of love in general. Because honestly I feel like one of the things that’s most captivated me about the Aubreyad in general is the sheer amount of love it contains, the vast majority of which is (canonically, at least) non-romantic, and I think that the further I get into the series, the more that strikes me.

Like honestly I cannot even begin to explain how incredibly good POB is at portraying loving relationships, whether they’re friendships, marriages, or parents and children (/surrogate parent and child, as the case may be). I’m actually genuinely not sure if I’ve ever read something like it. I think that a lot of media really struggles with platonic relationships, which is a question that probably deserves a 400-page thesis about it and that I’m not really qualified to answer, but the Aubreyad somehow manages to create relationships that are all so imbued with love that it genuinely does not matter whether or not the people in them are in love or not. While I’m certainly here for reading Stephen and Jack as a romantic relationship, there’s a certain point where I actually don’t care whether or not they’re friends or lovers, because the complexities of what they feel for each other and what they mean in each other’s lives is just as deep either way. And all the relationships in the book are like that: Bonden and the Surprises looking after Stephen, Jack with Mowett and Pullings, Stephen and Sophie, and on and on into infinity.

I think the thing that makes me the most insane about this is that these relationships all feel so unbelievably, viscerally real. The love that’s stored there is the same sort of love that I feel for the people in my own life, with all the inevitable disagreements and exasperation and imperfection that it comes with. I think it’s incredibly difficult to capture that exact feeling in writing, and yet somehow he’s managed to do it. There’s been so much talk about the way in which people in our day and age and media in general struggle to talk about friendship and platonic relationships as meaningful, and I’m not saying that just any writer could go out and weave a tapestry so complex as the Aubreyad does, but reading these books is like a balm for that. There’s something so reassuring in knowing that a romantic relationship is not the be-all-end-all for any of the characters in these books, no matter how you look at it. Each of them is surrounded by a web of people who are deeply implicated in their existence and who truly care what happens to them.

I think fiction, by its nature of needing to bring characters in to serve a role in a linear plot, doesn’t often leave room for love of this kind, and I don't want to be critical of that, because not all narratives can be like the one Patrick O'Brian's written (which is 100% okay—it should be that way, that's how narratives work!). But there’s something so healing about reading a story in which all of the characters are so deeply loved. It’s like a mirror; looking into it, you can see your own relationships, and by extension, just how loved you are, even if most of the time you don’t realize it. Humans are not lonely creatures, and no one captures that better than Patrick O’Brian.

[simpinberry]

for my mental health i need hcs of bella ramsey x fem or gn reader with words of affirmation love language ‼️‼️

hi guys i’m back to feed you some more bella content ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ hope i did this right and that u guys like it :) also tysm for the requests

listen listen!!! after taking a shower she would 100% leave sweet compliments on the foggy mirror for u to read. will add ‘kiss your s/o’ to your to do lists.

will text/send photos of random things that reminds you of her throughout the day. she does this especially when she’s on set and you guys can’t talk much. they have your favorite snack there? sends u a photo and tells u theyre thinking of u. lots of i miss yous, love yous and that she can’t wait to be home to see u again. “text me abt what you get up to today babe” “pedro is making fun of me because i’m apparently such a simp for you, he is absolutely, in every way, correct ;).” “i saw a butterfly today n it reminded me of the pretty tattoo you have”

will watch u like the weirdo she is when you’re getting ready in the morning. sneaks up behind u and repeatedly attacks ur face with kisses. “i have the most beautiful gf in the world” “omg i love this purple eyeliner on you, it rlly suits you” “your curls look really defined today, the new conditioner you got is so good!! my beautiful bby”

is the type to whisper compliments in between kisses. yk like corny spelling out of i love you in between pecks? yep, does that. “i really really like you” “my darling” “mine” “you’re so cute” in between kisses hehehe.

spam texts you when you send/post a photo. in your dms/comment section screechingggg!! my mans is DOWN BADDD. needs and loves to comment “first” on ur posts. they actually make up most of ur comment section. “BABE IM DYING YOURE TOO BEAUTIFUL” “so glad we’ve advanced technology so i can stare at this photo 4life if i want to” “you+this dress= my death”

randomly tweets a photo of you, captioning it “this is my darling, be jealous, gn”

very validating when you’re upset and talks you through it. thanks you for speaking up and communicating abt anything that’s been bothering you. SPILLS THE TEA WITH YOUUU. you have a co worker you hate? she hates them too. listen to me when i say she is on ur side, she is shocked and they’ll even remember stuff you’ve previously told them to add to the fire. best bf frr “thank you for telling me babe, i’ll really keep it in mind next time, i’m so sorry for hurting your feelings like that” “it sounds like it’s been difficult for you to complete (insert task) you’ve been working through it so well :)” “he said what??? yeah like he’s one to talk, go go! continue tell me more i’m invested” “babe you’re honestly so right, this is why i always listen to u”

definitely acknowledges you so so much when you accomplish something. will go on about how proud they are of you, how well you’ve done and how wonderful it is. big or small, bellas on her way to pour her heart out to you. would be unbelievably encouraging throughout the process too, telling you to keep going and trust the progress. “you’ve got this babe, go on :))” “that drawing is absolutely amazing, you’re so talented omg look at the details” “you submitted your assignment?? ahead of time?? that’s my girl frr” “these cookies are amazing, thank u sm for baking them ughh give me a hug you’re the best baker ever, they’re so soft!!”

you guys will be facetiming one night when shes away in a different country for filming. she’s been gone two months and you really miss them. you get a bit emotional talking abt it and they really listen, telling you to let it out. just before you guys hang up they tell you to look at the last drawer of your jewellery box. turns out she wrote you a letter before she left, many letters in fact, for when you really miss them. you can’t help but sob reading it. she attached a polaroid photo of you guys kissing at bottom of the page. she’s so incredibly kind in the letter, telling you how wonderful its been getting to know you these past few months. "hehe youre probably crying from how nice im being" istg this mf even teases you in writing. when you're finished you call her back, they immediately burst out laughing at your blood shot eyes, “hahahhs i knew you’d cry”. sneaks in a ‘you look so pretty even when you cry’. tells you they have more hidden around your room and that when you need it she’ll tell you where you can find more ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ

goodnight!! if i made any mistakes, no i didn’t. byebye!!

[paranormaljones]

I'm honestly not sure how to start this post. This is something I've only spoken about with a couple people and I don't even really know where to start.

Earlier this year, thanks to many incredibly brave survivors sharing their stories, I stumbled upon the knowledge of what's referred to as the "Troubled Teen Industry" (TTI for short). I was vaguely familiar with the concept for quite a while, but it was only fairly recently that I was inspired to do my own research.

In case you're unfamiliar with it, the "Troubled Teen Industry" is a conglomerate of different organizations operating under the guise of residential therapeutic/rehabilitation centers aimed towards minors, or "problem children". Some of these organizations are also known as "wilderness therapy" programs. All of these programs thrive off of parental manipulation and rampant, horrific child abuse. I won't go into detail, but just looking up "troubled teen industry" on Wikipedia will give you an idea of just how unbelievably evil these places are.

As someone who never experienced one of these programs firsthand, it's not my place to speak with authority on what these programs are like. As someone who has done hours of research into this horrific reality somehow still being perpetuated in our nation, I do feel it is my responsibility to amplify the voices of the survivors who are persevering to shut these programs down no matter what.

One voice I want to amplify is the voice of Joe Nobody, a TTI survivor and the anonymous creator of a webcomic called "Joe Vs Elan School", which follows his experiences after being abducted into the Elan School at the age of 16.

The Elan School is one of the most infamous programs under the TTI umbrella. It was shut down in 2011 due to overwhelming accusations of abuse, but its survivors are still fighting to make their stories heard. Because history is being repeated.

The story Joe tells of his life within and after Elan is not for the faint of heart. Almost every kind of trigger warning you could think of would apply to Joe's account of his life. The atrocities committed by the Elan School and those still being committed by the TTI are unbelievable at first glance. But they are real and they deserve to be brought to light.

[faerieyuri]

prompt (very specific prompt too but if you think of an offshoot of it GO FOR IT): maybe for some reason phoenix has to put on a steel samurai costume (for a case?? for halloween?? because maya is bugging him?? YOU decide!) and miles, who has been pining already, has a brain.exe crash. in a "i need to kiss him now" way. but also if this doesnt call to u its fine to skip lmao

HELLO here is a slight offshoot!

-

“Edgeworth, help me get these fangs on.”

The call came from inside the cramped bathroom of Wright Anything Agency. Edgeworth, who’d been sitting around for the past twenty minutes, groaned into his elbow.

“Don’t you have a mirror in there?”

“Yeah, well, it’s warped and I can’t really see.”

“I can’t see how it could possibly be that bad,” he scoffed. Still, he smoothed out his witch robes and shuffled into the cramped bathroom to stand behind his friend.

Edgeworth was speechless for a moment, gaping at their funhouse reflections in the rusting mirror. “Incredible. It’s like a piece of aluminum foil.”

“I told you!” Phoenix huffed. “We can’t afford another one, so we’ve been making do.”

Is that why his tie is crooked in court sometimes?

“Fine. Turn around and I’ll help.”

The bathroom was so small that Phoenix seemed to rotate on an axis more than turn around. When he faced Edgeworth, they were…..close. Unbelievably close.

Clad in Edgeworth’s jabot and a silk shirt with a velvet cape, Wright looked incredible. Tighter- than-usual pants and lace-up boots accentuated his muscular legs. The scent of his cedarwood cologne was tantalizing, alluring—

“Something wrong?” Phoenix tilted his head to the side.

“No, n-nothing. Give me the teeth,” he ordered, a little too loudly.

As Edgeworth applied the glue to the fake fangs, his heart pounded. Had he really never noticed how attractive his friend was? And even worse, now he had to touch Wright’s…

“Open your mouth.” He blanched. “Umm. Please.”

“Okey doke.” Wright opened his mouth like he was at the dentist, and exhaled his warm breath onto Edgeworth’s hands.

On the way to put the first fang in, Edgeworth’s fingers brushed against his friend’s lips, which were surprisingly firm. Stop thinking about it. Really, his teeth were so pearly white, his tongue so luscious and silky-looking. Stop thinking about it. When he made eye contact with Edgeworth waiting for the glue to dry, his lips twitched upward into a dimpled grin that was really quite cute. Stop thinking about it. And honestly, the vampire look quite suited him, and Edgeworth really wouldn’t mind the idea of Wright sinking those fangs into his neck, stop thinking about it!—

Before Edgeworth knew it, his lips were on Wright’s. His friend gave a surprised squeak before leaning into the kiss, one awkward fang brushing against Edgeworth’s bottom lip. Their hands found each other’s bodies and drew the other closer, closer, closer.

They were going to be late for that Halloween party, if they went at all.

[umlewis]

lewis hamilton, p1, is interviewed during the post-race press conference [part 1/3], britain - july 7, 2024 (transcript under the cut)

Interviewer: "Lewis, a very warm welcome to the top three press conference. It's been a while since we've had you sat in that middle seat, and what a place to do it, at Silverstone. What made this one so special for you?" Lewis: "I think ultimately because it's been such a long time. It's been nine-hundred and… Someone just told me 946 days or something like that since the last win. And really challenging; a difficult time, obviously, 2021, and then coming back in with a car that we've not been able to fight with for the last couple of years. I think just it's been incredibly mentally challenging, I think for everyone in the team, but I think just knowing how hard everyone's continued to work, knowing how I've managed just to keep my head in it. And then with everything that's happened this year, as well, with so many emotions this year; obviously announcing that I'm leaving, and at the same time starting with a car that we didn't feel that we could win with, to then finally be in a place where we win, and not only that, but at the British Grand Prix in front of our home crow. Honestly, it's the most incredible honor to be standing on the top of the podium and hearing the national anthem with the king's name in it, for example. It's the first time I've had that, so… Yeah. And then also my family's here." Interviewer: "And could you hear the roar of the crowd in those closing laps?" Lewis: "I mean, the car's so loud, so hard to hear, but I could see it and I really could feel it. When you go through turn seven… It's a long, long corner, and you see the guys on the left, or through the last couple of corners, you can also see this incredible crowd, or into turn fifteen. It's really, really an unbelievable feeling to be on that track. This is the best track for me, personally. I think this is the best track in the world. But it's the fans, also, the whole place. The wind direction that you have going into Stowe… That corner is incredible." Interviewer: "Now, the changeable conditions made this an extremely demanding race for everyone. When was the car at its best for you?" Lewis: "I think, I mean, probably at the end, naturally. I think at the end. I think the first stint I was a little bit under-winged at the front so I was under-steering, I think, but I was just managing, trying to make sure that… Because you didn't know how long he had to go.

I was actually planning to go to a long way. I was supposed to go a lot longer than George. He had a really great pace and he was trying, obviously, to break the tow, so I was trying to make sure that I stayed within 1.6 or two seconds. And then I knew that I could see the rain was coming, and when that rain came I knew that was the moment to pounce. And then we both went off and the McLarens came by. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't understand how they were able to generate so much heat, still, in their tires, or maybe it's the aero or whatever. But then just trying to hold on to them, and then obviously that last stint, I think we timed it perfect. Getting that undercut on Lando I think was really key, and the team did such a great job with the pit stop, as well." Interviewer: "Lewis, it's now been two race wins in a row for Mercedes. What does this mean for the remainder of the season?" Lewis: "Yeah, I think… Hugely, hugely grateful to everyone in the team. I think this is just hats off to everyone. Niki would definitely take his hat off. But everyone that's continued to work hard, everyone in the garage that's continued to show up each weekend and not get downbeat by results. And I think George's win last week was amazing, but it wasn't on pure pace, and I think this weekend was the first time we did it on pure pace, without qualifying on the front row, and then after that, even in that first stint, both of us pulling away from everybody else… And then ultimately, I think with the conditions today, the drivers were able to make a bit of a difference." Interviewer: "So you're feeling pumped, going to Hungary in two weeks' time?" Lewis: "I love Hungary, so yeah, I definitely am really looking forward to that, to going there, but just also the trajectory we're on and the fact the car is starting to really, really come alive and feel great, and now I can start to compete with these two here is a great, great feeling."

[tobiasdrake]

On the topic of funny Viz translations, have I got a glass of water for you.

Also Korin is a god and Kami's Lookout doesn't exist in the same physical space as the rest of the Earth.

Goku first begins his relationship with the divine when he nearly gets killed by the assassin Taopaipai. In order to become tough enough to take on Taopaipai, Goku climbs Karin Tower, the unbelievably tall spire that ascends from the Sacred Land of Karin.

He climbs the tower because he's been told of a legendary elixir that will make him powerful.

Inside that bottle is Choseisui. The word is a composite of "Cho", meaning Super, "Sei" meaning Sacred or Holy, and "Sui" meaning Water. This is the Super Holy Water, an elixir of the gods which will bestow incredible power upon whoever drinks it.

Allegedly.

The trick here is that it's just some normal water. The true training is the attempt to drink it - An attempt that requires you take the bottle from its guardian, Karin.

Note that it's not the water that makes this the Sacred Land of Karin. It's sacred because of Karin. Karin is the first deity Goku ever meets.

Karin's official title is the "Bujutsu no Kami", which Viz faithfully translates here as the God of Martial Arts.

Do note that Karin is the second character to be introduced as the Bujutsu no Kami. The Muten-Roshi likes to throw that title around for grandeur, which his relationship to Karin implies he straight up stole it.

But Karin has a much clearer claim to divinity as an ancient hermit who grows heavenly manna known as Senzu and lives halfway between Earth and Heaven.

Which is. Well. This place.

Have you ever noticed that nobody ever flies horizontally to the Lookout? To enter the Lookout, you must travel to Karin Tower and then go up. To leave, you have to go down until you reach the Tower, then fly outward.

Well, there's a reason for that. What the dub calls Kami's Lookout is the Kami-sama no Shinden, or the Temple of God. The Temple exists in Tenkai, the Heavenly Realm - which can only be accessed by ascending into Heaven from Karin Tower.

From his Temple, God is capable of looking down upon the entire mortal plane below. Anything he needs to see is within his purview, because this space is outside of the mortal plane.

This is precisely what made it such a great place to hide out from Buu - and made it such a big deal when Buu managed to find them in Heaven.

Foreshadowing Pure Buu's later trespass into the godly realm of the Kaioshins.

Majin Buu cares nothing for propriety in the face of the divine. He will violate however many sacred boundaries he wants!

In any case, halfway up to the realm of Heaven lives the God of Martial Arts, Karin and the sacred beans he grows. And his sacred water trial, which serves as both a form of training anyone who proves their merit by making the climb, and also teaching a bit about anticipation while he's at it.

But - partly because Toriyama liked the Karin Tower plot so much he copied it like four times over the course of the series - there is more to Karin than only offering this trial and guarding the gateway to Heaven.

In what is honestly one of the laziest writing choices Toriyama ever made.. there is the other, for realsies, super water that's actually super water for realsies.

This is Choshinsui, the Super God Water. It really, truly, actually does have the ability to bring out incredible power in its drinker.

Uh. Allegedly.

Yajirobe asking the real questions here. If nobody's ever survived it before then there is no reason to believe it works. Karin kicks the can down the road to some heresay he's heard. A second cousin of his great grand-predecessor in the Martial Arts God role swears he has an uncle who worked at the distillery who says it powered someone up once. Honest!

There is a non-zero chance that this jug is full of rat poison, and Goku just got a Zenkai boost off of it.

But in any case, the obvious lazy recycling of the Karin Water plot is incredibly obvious and lazy, and can make distinguishing between the two confusing.

In Japanese, the two waters are Choseisui and Choshinsui.

The dub translated them as the Sacred Water and the Ultra Divine Water.

And Viz? Well, they have their own tongue-in-cheek name for Choshinsui.

XD HAHAHAHA You can feel the sarcasm burning. Might want to put some Superest Water on that.