#its hard to put all my feelings about him into words. good thing 4 art i suppose !!!!!

[maplemaplemaplemaplemaple]

the immaculate mind / the fallible heart

[judesdrabbles]

The Cure (part 1)

Hello everyone, this will be the first part in my series ‘The Cure’, featuring my oc Vincent. This fic is quite slow, since I want everything to go quite gradually. I hope you guys enjoy. <3

yan!psychiatrist x reader

PART 2 / PART 3 / PART 4

word count: 1K

warnings: reader is afab, obsessive tendencies, reader has anxiety, Vincent is extremely apathetic here

Pens were portrayed in a neat line on his desk, next to his patients files and some square glasses. They were clean. Polished. Just how he liked it.

People always find things to obsess over. It’s only natural. Otherwise, you’ll get bored. Silly teenage girls and their crushes on fictional characters. The insecure male finding validation in the stock market. The lonely, middle aged woman and her fascination with her neighbor. The old man and his collection of train models. Obsession was the thread that tied humanity together.

Vincent understood this better than most. If obsession were an art, he would be its most devoted patron.

There was never a quick spark of interest for him. There had never been a ‘phase’ of anything. Because if he was interested in something, he would become consumed by it. Wanted to know everything about it until it’s laid bare, plucked dry of everything it once contained. He wanted to know, to understand.

Nothing is casual for Vincent.

That said, not much interested him either.

-

‘Um.. sir?’

The man, who is supposed to be your new psychiatrist, seemed to jump up from his thoughts and glances over at you. You were standing hesitatingly in the doorway.

‘I’m sorry, but patients are supposed to be waiting in the waiting room.’ The man says curtly. His dark eyes seemed to flash in annoyance.

‘Oh- Yeah, I know.’ You say, laughing nervously. ‘But I had an appointment at five, you see? It’s already thirty minutes past..’ You stay quiet for a bit. ‘And, uh, your door was open..’

The man looks over at a watch on his wrist. She was right. It was already 5.30. How could he be so careless? He gently takes the glasses from his desk and puts them onto his nose. He clears his throat and walks over to you.

‘Forgive me, Miss..?’

‘Y/N.’ You answer, pressing your lips together. ‘I hope those 30 minutes don’t get charged.’

He shakes your hand and a small smile forms on his lips. It was a cold smile. It didn’t reach his eyes. ‘Dr. Vincent, pleasure. And no, of course not, I’ll make sure of it.’ He gestures to a seat on the opposite side of his desk. ‘You can sit there, if you’d like. Or you can sit on the couch, if you’re more comfortable there.’

The office of Dr. Vincent was .. lavish. Only one glance and you could see that this guy had some money, were it to be for either the polished leather chairs, the hard wooden floors or the tall book shelves that covered the walls. And everything was neat. Almost too neat. It made you feel bad for coming in here with your normal sneakers and clothes instead of dressed up in a formal dress and heels. Especially since the psychiatrist himself seemed to dress impeccably, too.

‘I’ll sit on the chair, thanks.’ You say as you sit down. ‘It’s a nice office you have here.’

Dr. Vincent rubbed his hand on his suit, as if he just touched something dirty, and sat down opposite of you. ‘Thank you, Y/N.’ He answered. ‘Now.. it was a few days ago that I got your file in. I understand that you were referred to me since your old psychiatrist retired, hm?’

You nod. She had been such a sweetheart. You almost wanted to quit therapy all together when you heard she would retire. But she got a replacement. A new psychiatrist, moved from another town.

‘Yeah. We don’t have a lot of therapists or psychiatrists here, so I was genuinely shocked when they said there was a replacement.’

Dr. Vincent chuckles. He had his hand neatly folded in his lap, all the while looking at you. There was a slight flush on your cheeks. Nervousness? You didn’t seem nervous. Or were you good at hiding it?

‘Tell me what you worked trough with your previous therapist, Y/N.’

Dr. Vincent’s stiffness made you a little uncomfortable, and he seemed to notice that. He smiled reassuringly, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes again. Was he bored?

‘We worked trough my anxiety.’ You say, looking past him since his dark eyes seemed to pierce trough you. ‘Social.. situations and stuff. How I can handle it.’

Dr. Vincents eyes seemed to light up with newfound interest. ‘Right. Did you feel like you made progress?’

‘I mean, I am here, talking to you, a stranger. That’s something; right?’

He nodded, though his thoughts began to stray. He didn’t get many patients in his old city. And the ones that did come, were boring. They were like the wallpaper in his office. Unremarkable- fading into the background of his mind.

Again, nothing really interested him. Not the common patient that came in with relationship problems. Not the grieving mother. No, he didn’t worry one hair on his head about it. The pens on his desk interested him more.

‘Seemed like you made some good progress, then. I hope I can become more for you than just a stranger, though. Otherwise these sessions might prove challenging.’ He says.

You chuckle softly. ‘Time will tell. Need to decide if I like you or not.’

Dr. Vincent’s eyebrow raises. A sudden spark in his eyes appeared, again.

There was something about you.

Something that intrigued him.

‘I’m sorry, it was a joke.’ You say awkwardly when he doesn’t respond. He just chuckles.

‘I’m not offended, don’t worry.’ He remarks, his voice low and measured. ‘In fact, I value honesty. So, please, tell me more, Y/N..’

[mjbarrosart]

My Dragon Prince Boards season 6, episode 602

Before we start, a little words...

Working in The Dragon Prince is for sure one of the biggest privileges of my career as a storyboard artist. I got into the show as a junior board artist during season 4 and was able to stay until the end of season 7.

The quality of the show, the characters the fans, are things that I truly enjoyed and keep close to my heart.

Have been years since my work in Drago Prince - we were boarding season 6 in the Summer of 2022- and to be honest feels like a lifetime ago, haha, my skills and art have change so much during the years, but every time a new season premieres, going back to my old boards and write this little commentary has become such a fun thing to do.

Season 6 is so far one of my favorites. This season was in such a sweet spot for us, with seasons 4 and 5 already done we were feeling really comfortable on the style of the show, and we were able to work without the huge pressure that later we had for season 7 (closing a huge story like this saga is a monumental challenge and that put a lot over our shoulders for sure!) So I have fond memories of my sequences on season 6, having a lot of fun while working on them.

During all my time in the show, I was part of the 2nd unit on boards. The show had 3 units, each unit was in charge of 3 episodes. If you check the credits its pretty easy to figure out which unit is which. I had the huge privilege to work with experienced artists like Jae Harm and Lori Allen, who also worked in seasons 1 to 3! My unit director for this season was Mike Jones, hands down one of the best storyboards artist I ever meet.

As the 2nd unit, we were in charge of episodes, 602, 605 and 608.

So lets start with Episode 2 of season 6!!

A little irony about this season is that while in season 5 I was working SO MUCH with Janai and Amaya, in this season we only had sunfire elf plot in this episode, so is my only time on the season working with my favorite ladies. Knowing that, I tried really hard to nail all my parts!

My first sequences is when Janai scolds the remaining sunfire generals. This episode deals with the consequences of the season 5 finale of the sunfire elf plot. Janai is sitting on her throne betrayed by one of her generals and her brother, feeling doubts about herself, but also about is she can trust others.

I think was pretty cool to being able to explore a more emotional side of Janai. I wanted to make this sequences to feel imbalanced and aggressive. Janai is dealing with a lot of emotions that are hard to process.

I read some complaints that Janai in this sequence is not being better than a Karim (yes I read your comments!) and I agree, but I think that that is a good thing. The idea of this sequence, was to show Janai taking things wrong, acting her feelings in a way they are hurting people around her. I don't think Janai is being a good queen here, and I thing that is good, because is good for characters to have flaws to overcome.

Sadly, part of this anger is not only directed to her subordinates, but also to Amaya, but she is a mature person, who doesn't take it personally and keep herself calms in order to be able to support her partner.

My next sequence is when Janai burns the sunseed tree.

This sequence continues working around the idea of Janai's rage and frustration. The sunseed is not there anymore, and she struggles to imagine a future, she is defeated, scared and angry.

The next shot is a fun one. On my first pitch of this sequence, I had her image reflecting in the crown turning into Karim, as a symbol of that both are the same, or that right now she is not being better than him, she is being haunted by him. But that idea was scrapped during revisions. I was happy when I saw the final episode this weekend and I notice that they put him on the crown. I think works really well as a symbol of her struggle and pain.

The Janai's fall keeps goin, the rage overcomes her and starts to burn the sunseed tree, the same place where last season she was talking about hope and future, now being destroyed in frustration, a rage that quickly turns into sadness and despair.

But Janai is a lucky one, she is not alone and has love ones who are there for her, to help her to navigate this hard times. Amaya and Green arrive just in time to stop her. I wanted to make the action of Amaya removing her from the fire messy, they lose balance and end sitting in the floor, it is a desperate move, but a necessary one. Amaya is there holding her, and that mark the beginning of Janai's change of mind.

Next sequence is this cute one when Amaya tells Janai the story about the "king with the thousand eyes". It is a simple one, but i like what Amaya is doing her. She is not telling Janai what to do or what to think, but given her context and tools to work her own thoughts. She needs space and Amaya is giving her something to think about.

As a funny detail, this sequence had a lot of Amaya talking, and that means tons of ASL, and, let me tell you, animating ASL is super hard, ergo expensive. The team had ASL interpreters acting the lines, and used that as a reference. What makes it hard is the fact that they need to be ultra precise with the hand movements, you don't what your ALS to be sloppy, and that takes time, so I got a note from the director to reduce the amount of ALS on screen, and we tried to be creative with the shots, haha.

Next sequence is when finally Janai is able to come to her senses and decides to do the right thing (be the right kind of leader to her people)

I really like this sequence, is soft and tender and emotional, and you can see the growth of Janai. I based a lot of their touches and love gestures on my own relationship with my wife, I always wanted to make this two feel real.

The last shot of this sequences is pretty deliberated. While is true, there is not sunseed anymore, they don't need that, because they are the new sunseed, they, their love, them as a symbol of the union between elves and humans, they are the future, there is hope.

My last sequence of the episode, is the short "let's get married" sequence by the end. A short sweet one, and I think the only time i boarded a kiss between them!!

In my original boards there was a close up to the kiss, but they removed it :( ... but I can show you anyway, haha

Well, that was my work on episode 2 of season 6.

Thanks for reading this long post, I'll write about my work on episode 5 soon!

[ourloveisforthelovely]

The Words "Best Friends" Become Redefined. Part 5

Regulus Black AU

Summary: You had been Regulus’ friend since childhood and now his mistress. The war had changed many things, Regulus among them. Now its time to decide if you should put your self-worth over missing someone who was gone.  

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader

Rating: M- smut

Link to Part 4

Lyrics in Chapter: “New Star” by Watchhouse

______

“The monsters were you, darling.”

Regulus didn’t move from his place as your words echoed in his mind. All of this mess was his fault! Regulus had to hand it to himself…he had done such an excellent job at trying to scare you away that you were seeing him for what everyone thought he was…a monster.

“I suppose you see why I don’t think that you are good enough for her.”

Regulus looked up as Remus stepped into the room looking ready to fight. Rolling his eyes, Regulus wondered if punching your brother would make things even worse between the two of you. Something told him yes. If he wanted to earn your forgiveness whacking Remus seemed like a shoddy plan.

“Luck for me, Y/n tends to think for herself. She doesn’t need her older brother to do her thinking for her.”

Remus made a quiet “hmm” at that. He had to agree that Regulus was right on that one. You did think for yourself and didn’t need Remus to make your choices. In fact, you told Remus multiple times that fighting your battles wasn’t his hill to die on. That didn’t stop Remus from stepping on things like Regulus Black breaking your heart (as he already did).

“I suppose it's lucky for you or unfortunate seeing as you have totally broken her heart but what do I know? Either way, Regulus, I don’t think it would be good for you to treat her so poorly over and over again. Y/n deserves better.

Regulus took a breath as Remus sat down. As much as Regulus wanted to cuss Remus out and tell him to “get fucked” he couldn't. There was something about Remus that Regulus liked. Maybe it was their shared sense of sarcasm on many topics?

“If you knew why I did it you would understand.”

Regulus replied, calmly. Remus leaned back in his chair.

“I have a feeling that I know. You didn’t want her to be harmed in your death eater duties, which is commendable. I do thank you for that. I worried from the moment that my sister was sorted into Slytherin that the dark arts would rub off on her. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case.”

Regulus looked down while thinking…”damn it, he's right about everything.”

“I wouldn’t say commendable. I would say that it's anything that anyone who truly cares about someone should do. Even if I looked at Y/n in only a friendly and not romantic way, I should want to care for her safety. Face it, Remus, if she and I were a couple, given our current situation, you know that she would have been target number one. A death eater and an auror is a match made in instant death hell. Everything that I have ever done to Y/n has been out of love and respect for her safety. I never would have been so cruel to her for no reason.”

Remus crossed his arms over his chest. He hated admitting that Regulus was right. If the two of you had been outed as a couple, death would have come to both of you. There was no way that Voldmort would have been okay with one of his followers dating an Auror. You would have lost the job that you worked so hard for…but the question was how much was everything truly worth the risk?

Glazing into the living room, Remus’ eyes locked on Sirius. His lover sat beside you talking quietly.

He would be worth everything…Sirius would be worth everything…just as Y/n would be worth everything.

Remus turned back to Regulus and took a breath.

“You could have gone about it differently. Y/n has been in love with you for so long. Regulus, you don’t realize how hurt she has been. My sister or not, I have seen it all. She has been sitting here praying for a miracle. When you walked through that door, you should have seen the look on her face.”

Regulus’ grey eyes dropped.

“I did. I saw all of it. You don’t have to worry. She probably will never forgive me again.”

Regulus didn’t bring up the kiss in the back of the bar. He didn’t want to totally shit wreck Remus’ somewhat understanding attitude toward the situation at hand. If Regulus could get Remus on his side he would definitely be in a better position.

“I know my sister. Yes, she is a bit stubborn but she cares for you.”

Regulus snorted at the words “a bit.” As much Regulus adored everything about you, your stubborn side was the one thing that he could do without.

At least I don’t have to worry about anyone being mean to her. She will just make them cry.

Regulus thought before speaking again.

“A bit? Do you really know your sister, Remus?”

Remus gave Regulus a smug smile.

“I won’t insult my sister. Seriously though think of a good heartfelt apology and talk to her. You do know what an apology is, right? You know, it's one of those things where you admit that you are wrong.”

“ I know what an apology is!”

Regulus snapped as Remus stood up.

“Good then do it and do us all a favor. Before I go, I must give you my ceremonial big brother speech of you if you break her heart again then I will cut your head off speech.”

“You’ve made your point.”

Regulus commented. He didn’t really want to sit in this conversation any longer. Regulus needed some time to decide what he needed to say to you.

“Good, because I really don’t want to threaten you any further. Anyway, later.”

Remus walked off feeling a lot more accomplished. Did he think Regulus would fuck up again? Of course. Was he willing to give him a shot if it made you truly happy…yes. Remus would never stop being the older brother that he was supposed to be just as you wouldn’t stop being the pain in the ass little sister that you were supposed to be.

Regulus stayed away from the house that night and most of the next day. He was trying to think of anything that he could to possibly convince you to see his way. He had no choice but to come back for the next Order meeting. This would give him a chance to speak with you and just rip the “bandage” off of the gaping wound while hoping for the best.

It was around half an hour before you arrived back home and Regulus was never more happy to see you. He had been sitting listening to Sirius whine about why Regulus was an idiot for letting you go.

“And not a moment too soon.”

Regulus mumbled as you came in and sat down silently. He wasn’t surprised that you wouldn’t speak to him. Once again, your stubborn side was proving its grand existence.

It was Sirius that spoke when he turned to look at you.

“Hey, that’s my sweatshirt!”

You looked down at the oversized blue sweatshirt that you were wearing.

“Bugger off, we have bigger problems. Besides, I do your laundry and my brother’s laundry. If I see something I like then I am borrowing it. It isn’t like you noticed it was missing anyhow.”

Sirius grumbled something as your eyes flickered to Regulus. Internally, you sighed looking at Regulus. After the argument the day before, you didn’t expect him to turn back up…yet here he was. He sat across from you with a frown on his handsome face.

The haughty ass…

You thought before looking down at his hands. It was easier to look at his hands than his piercing grey eyes.

How am I supposed to tell the asshat that I miss him? After calling him a monster yesterday saying “Hey Reg, I miss you” would probably sound a little disingenuous. Fuck, my mind is a pretzel!

You thought with a frown. Meeting Sirius’ eyes, he gave you an understanding nod. You would have paid Sirius anything at the moment to initiate some kind of conversation between Regulus and yourself. Granted, you could have said something. You could easily speak up but it wasn’t that easy…nothing was that easy.

“Y/N LUPIN!”

The sound of Moody stomping into the room yelling your name immediately pulled you from your thoughts. The moment that your boss limped into the room looking ready to set you on fire, you knew that you were in for it.

“I suppose you have read my report.”

You commented idly. Moody glowered at you before slamming the yellow envelope down on the table.

“Yes, I read it! I ought to bench you for those kinds of shenanigans.”

Sirius and Remus both turned to look at you with matching looks of confusion. You absentmindedly scratched your head before turning back to Alastor Moody.

“It was a lot cooler in person.”

Moody looked ready to pass out.

“Cooler in person?! Is that really what you are going to say to me.”

“What exactly happened?”

Remus asked. Moody turned to your older brother with a scowl.

“Miss Priss here thought that it was funny to take a leap off of her broom and land on Dolohov to arrest him.”

You winced as Regulus, Sirius, and Remus all turned to look at you with matching expressions of worry.

“Well, he’s in jail now.”

You murmured. Moody sat down and immediately started pointing his finger at you.

“One more stunt like that and I am suspending you. I’m ordering you to be careful and mind orders as directed. Am I making myself clear to you?”

“Crystal.”

You replied as Remus took a breath.

Awe, great. Now I get to hear from him.

“Y/n, I shouldn’t have to talk to you about crazy antics like that. Use the brain that you were gifted with and stop being crazy before you get yourself killed. Sirius and I wouldn’t make it without you. Don’t you realize how much you mean to us?”

You lowered your head.

“I’ll be careful. Okay? Now this meeting isn’t meant to be about me. Oh! Look it's James and Lily! Let's talk about them!”

James and Lily both looked a bit more put out than normal. Granted, everyone was looking put out lately but they looked pretty bad. Moody took a breath.

“They are actually what this meeting is about. As you lot probably noticed, not everyone is at our meeting tonight. I called all of you here because I know of your friendship. It appears that Voldemort believes that Harry will be the subject of the prophecy of his downfall. It is being suggested that the Potters go into hiding until further notice.”

You had been sitting with your head on the table but sat up instantly. This was not what you were expecting to hear.

God damn, do we ever get a break?

You thought, not being able to meet your friend’s faces. Lily was partially part of the reason why you were a sane human. She was the person that loved you unconditionally without making you feel like a naughty child.

When you were able to meet her eyes, you wished that you hadn’t. All that you saw was fear and you completely understood why. A madman was after her young son. How was she not destined to be afraid?

“I’ll be the secret keeper.”

Sirius immediately said. He didn’t care about himself. He cared about his best friend and his family. If Sirius could keep James, Lily, and Harry safe then he would do anything that he had to. He would go to the ends of the earth if he had to.

Moody frowned.

“Dumbledore doesn’t think that is a good idea, Sirius. You will be the first person that Voldemort would suspect. Peter Pettigrew will be the choice. He’s the most unlikely. While I had other choices, I have been outspoken.”

Your mouth instantly dropped. Peter-fucking-Pettigrew? Did you really hear that correctly? You would trust a stranger on the street before pansy ass Peter!

“Why don’t we just pick some bum on the street to do it? Pettigrew? Really?”

You snapped. Sirius held his hand up to you as if to say “Someone who is on my side!”

Moody turned to you.

“You’re an auror, Y/n. Remus is their other best friend and Regulus…well…he isn’t getting involved in this. Peter is the logical choice. Voldemort wouldn’t suspect him.”

Your eyes immediately looked up to Peter, who nervously walked into the room. The man looked highly uncomfortable as he sat down.

“I would trust Charles Manson or any of those other muggle serial killers before him. I could beat him up with my eyes closed.”

You grumbled. Peter winced, looking at you as if he was wondering whether he should hide or not. You had beat Peter up a few times in the past and he really didn’t want to relive those moments.

Moody, meanwhile, focused his attention on you.

“Y/n, this is an order and we just had a conversation about orders. Trust the process.”

You groaned and sat back in your chair with a huff.

“Fine but mark my words, if he fucks this up I will be cutting his head off and putting it on a stick.”

Moody shook his head while you gave Peter the biggest “try me, bitch” look imaginable.

“I would expect no less of you.”

You checked out of the remainder of the conversation. At the present moment, you didn’t want to participate any longer. You were too close to losing your shit. It was probably in your best interest not to say anything more….unless you wanted Moody to put a foot up your ass.

Nah, I’m good for today.

You thought as Moody dismissed the meeting. Moody had barely gotten the dismissal out before you were on your feet and storming out.

Had someone told you, years ago, that this was how your adulthood would turn out you would have slugged them. Now you were watching your friends' lives be in danger. You had already watched Marlene and Dorcas be killed. Now James, Lily, and baby Harry were in danger and there was nothing that you could do about it.

Stomping into the sitting room, you knew that you had to get a grip on yourself. You needed to breathe.

“Peter looked ready to shit himself when you threatened to cut his head off.”

You turned around to face Regulus. He stood in the doorway with an amused smile on his face. Stepping inside, Regulus closed the door as you turned back to the window.

“I wanted to climb across the table and shake him really good but I didn’t want to piss Moody off any more than I already have.”

“Yeah, about that…seriously, Y/n, what the fuck? You could have been killed.”

You groaned.

“Regulus, save the lecture. I have had a really long day and after that meeting…I’m just not in the mood.”

Regulus moved to join you at the window.

“I know that you’re worried. I also know that you are as pessimistic as me and none of what we just heard sounded feasible.”

“Oh, thank Merlin. Someone is seeing it my way! I like to say that for a pessimist I am pretty optimistic but I can’t be about this.”

You replied. Regulus was quiet for a moment before reaching out to take your hand in his.

“I miss this….us talking the way that we used to.”

You bit your lip before allowing yourself to squeeze Regulus’ hand.

“It never had to stop…you…”

Regulus instantly cut you off. It was time for him to say what he had needed to say for a long time.

“I did what I did for a reason. Y/n, I knew that you would have followed me anywhere. I was not about to let you turn into a dark witch to be with me. No one ever, here, understood why I turned to the dark arts yet you stood by my side. I knew that you were happy but you didn’t turn your back on me. I had to scare you away to keep you safe. That’s why I turned into the cold person that I had to be but look where it's gotten you. You are successful and independent. You weren’t relying on me for everything.”

You were quiet for a moment before speaking.

“You should have let me make my own decisions. Regulus, I supported everything that you did because I loved…love you. I know exactly why you turned to the dark arts…its because it's what you had to do with your family. That isn’t some super secret puzzle to me…I don’t want you to keep pushing me away…when I went to Azkaban the other day I saw Barty. Regulus, that could have been you. You could be sitting in the cell rotting away not knowing anything.”

Regulus’ face softened. Your super bad mood the day before suddenly made sense to Regulus now. You had spent too much time in that horrid place and it brought out the worst in you.

“I’m here with you now.”

Regulus commented in a soft tone. His voice reminded you of the boy that you had fallen in love with so long ago.

“Yeah, but for how long? How long until you turn cold again and shut me out?”

Taking a breath, you immediately wrapped your arms around Regulus and shoved your face against his chest. You couldn’t bring yourself to look into his eyes.

Regulus stood motionless for a moment before wrapping his arms around you. He held you tightly while breathing in your scent. Holding you felt like “home.” It felt like holding everything that any lucky man could have…the little piece of gold that was worth more than anything.

“Y/n, I can’t apologize enough but please trust me. I won’t be going anywhere.”

You didn’t move from your place in Regulus’ arms.

“It’s going to take me time to fully trust you.”

Our eyes may cry. Look what's become of me and my former. Steal away, steal away, remember At least we're all here together

_____

@amelie-black @jessyballet @fific7 @knreidy1 @georgeweasleydumbhoe @criminalyetminimal @justfinishthis @mimisparkle12 @teletubiswszpilkach @siriuslyceleste @golddustwomann @littleshadow17 @ell0ra-br3kk3r @livshifts @bxcndd @jsjcue @stelleduarte @millies0bsimp @coffeeaddictednymph @readtomeregulus @saramaple @missgorldafirst @i-love-scott-mccall @taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me @s-we-e-t-t-ea @buttercup-beeee @f4iryluvy @panpride @daddyslittlevillain @gugggu6gvai @jag9000 @quinis @mentally-unstable-hoe @yousmellllikecaca @haroldpotterson @goldensunshineshit @aurorasnape12 @ad-astra-again @dumybitch @marichromatic @ravenhood2792 @play-morezeppelin @spideyxalmighty @lucasfilms77 @rubyroscoe1 @lostarc24 @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @moldy-old-boot @hankypranky @summer-novak @shaylybaby2032 @emiwrites3reads @knight-of-gleefulness @li0nh34rt @tas898 @untoldshortsofthefandoms @deanwherescas @shitfaceddaniel-blog @bennyberry @wontlookaway @sprnaturallover @mycuddlycorner

[olives-and-lilies]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

@blirzy Thanks for including me! Sorry it took a minute, I was out of town.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

22, but a lot of them are art for other writers (big bangs mostly). I think only 8 of them are fics… so I am still pretty new.

2. What’s your AO3 word count?

15,763! Not bad!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Almost strictly Star Wars, though in years prior (many, many years) I used to write Hetalia and Naruto before falling out of the world of fanfic writing. Y’all can thank a rigorous scholastic career for that one.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

In general, it’s all art for other writers that get kudos, of my own written work its:

1. The Rations of Memory (13 Kudos)

2. I Thought I Was Alone (11 Kudos)

3. Manhunt (4 Kudos)

The rest of my very few works have 2 or 1 Kudo, this is okay, I am still getting back into writing again.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I try to always respond, even if it’s just a line or two! You took the time to leave me feedback, even if it’s just an emoji, and I appreciate it so much!

6. What’s the fic your wrote with the angstiest ending?

I find I have been writing a lot of angst endings, if not just heartwrenching pieces in general. I think it would have to be Gala Gone Wrong, cause while it doesn’t hurt the whole time or strike hard like Manhunt or How Did You Reach Me?, GGW shows you what could have been, and then takes it away.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I guess that depends on how you define happy ending? Probably I Thought I Was Alone, it’s such a hurt/comfort.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

God no, thankfully. I hear about it but have never had to suffer that particular fate.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I used to, in like, middle school. I wasn’t very good and I definitely cringe when I come across those old files. I might pick it up again one day.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do not, I have a big enough sandbox in star wars as it is, I feel like trying to mix things would just confuse me. Or I’d fixate on something, trying to get the mechanics all mashed together right.

11. Have you had a fic stolen?

Most likely not, I am very tiny.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, am smol.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No but that sounds dope? Like a brainstorm session but we each have scenes/sections/characters that we do?

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Brutal mate. Like, just in the sandboxes I play in now? Top Five maybe? I have different faves for different wants. If I want fluff its gonna be a different go to than angst or kink.

After talking to some folks who have suffered my existence for many years, the answer is Zuko/Katara, and apparently any Red/Blue coded ships, or Yellow/Purple if I’m “in a mood”

(it’s my partner, my long suffering partner who is “folks”)

15. What’s a WIP you’d like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

The Scopes Hanahaki fic, How Did You Reach Me?. I had big dreams for that one, showing him and the distance he puts between himself and everyone else, how he doesnt realize Sprays is the only one who has slipped under his guard. I wanted to have them team up with the 212th, to watch Cody handing a trooper a lozenge to help with the worst of the hanahaki (an idea that was in the Heavy Off A Golden Hue series by catboydogma, which I got to work on). To ask, to realize. I never decided if it would kill him, or if Sprays would find out.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’m going to go with Framing. I set the frame and I set the tone of the fic really well. You can come in and pretty readily know what kinda mess you’re signing up for. While I love getting to play with interpersonal relationships, the push and pull of characters and situations and growth, it is the tone I use and the frame I set up that let’s people come in and see what I am about, ya know?

(shoutout to my partner for what was essentially both a call-out and a hype up with this)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

First, it’s almost all OCs, and that’s really not how you get traction, ya know?

Second, so much of my self slips in. I have to stop and think and really remember if what the characters reaction is would be mine or theirs. If I think that the course is just, if it’s what I would want to say I would do, or was capable of, that’s not always what the character would do and I need to remember that.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I love this, it’s such a welcome challenge. I often have to find others with more knowledge than me and its a great time. I’ve gone to folks for Mando’a the most, but I’ve got unpublished pieces with Spanish, Gaelic, and even Arabic mixed into the stories because it was appropriate to the characters.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Naruto, it’s not published ANYWHERE, but I’ve a whole handwritten book of them. I was a big Kiba/Hinata shipper, among many other ships, and did a lot of OC work even back then. Hetalia too, on a long dead deviantart account that should, hopefully be well buried or properly terminated due to inactivity after all these years. I thought I was hot shit, I assure you I was not.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Building a HUD that Works, because it has so much subtle imagery and connection. It’s a push and pull of characters. I wrote it as a character study and a bingo fill, of all things, but I really do love it. The first delicate interlude from boss/employee to equals and partners. The first acts of compassion, of watching out for each other. The first learnings of each other. Ugh, I just love it. I love that it came out the way it did.

No Pressure Tags: @prowlingthunder @catboydogma

[whumpy-wyrms]

are u in any fandoms? what are ur interests besides whump? u don’t have to answer i’m just curious!!

someone’s asking me about my interests i can’t NOT answer

this got a bit long tho so i’m putting it under the read more for people who don’t care/are only here for the whump

OKOK. so i’m kinda in the starkid/nerdy prudes must die fandom rn but i know for a fact if i finished adventure time and started watching fiona and cake, that would quite literally become my entire personality for the next 3 months because simon and prismo (and marceline and princess bubblegum and all my other favorite characters) make me insane. but i haven’t done that because well. i’ve gotta write tllr yknow..

anyway, my absolute most favorite pieces of media of all time are undertale and deltarune guys. i cant put in words how much those games mean to me holy shit. as i’m writing this i’m sitting next to my jevil and sans and spamton plushie and they are saying hi. anywayyy yeah i was in the deltarune fandom for a bit it was fun. spamton is silly fucked up creature. jevil is my all time favorite tho

AND THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES… my favorite thing ever fr. y’all. LISTEN TO TMA SERIOUSLY YOU’LL PROBABLY LIKE IT!! it’s a horror podcast and it’s seriously the best fuckinf thing ever it’s so amazing seriously. it’s a bit hard to get into at first because season 1 is less story driven BUT HOLY SHIT. AHHHH ITS SO FUCKING GOOD. jon is one of my favorite blorbos ever and so is michael because he’s a silly distortion guy. just trust me and listen to TMA it will actually change your life.

also i love the amazing world of gumball so fucking much. i wasn’t allowed to watch cartoon network as a kid (idk why??) so i first watched tawog last year and holy shit holy shit it’s my favorite thing ever. rob. ROB!!!! ROB IS MY ALL TIME FAVORITE CHARACTER. SO IS MR SMALL. AHHHH!!!! anyway i love tawog i’ve drawn a lot of fanart and even wrote a 60k word fanfiction (about what happens after The Inquisition because that ending fucked me up) that i’ve Never and will probably never show anyone because it’s probably Not that good. but it was sooo Important to me back then. tawog just means so much to me it :))) it changed me as a person. nobody’s a nobody and everybody is weird like you and me.

i also really like hollow knight! i haven’t played it in a while but i was at 111% completion on one of my playthroughs (CURSE YOU PANTHEON 4). i’m also super fucking excited for silksong obviously and i will say this now: WHEN SILKSONG FINALLY RELEASES… i will probably go on hiatus here LMAO. sorry but guys. SILKSONG…. honestly same for new deltarune chapters. the second chapters 3, 4, and 5 release it is sooo over for me. i probably won’t post much here for a few months during that. but that’s fine!! i’ll never abandon tllr but sometimes some things are more important to my silly little brain :3

gravity falls quite literally changed my life in 2018. like i can’t even explain it, but it’s how i was introduced to online fandoms and fanart in general. dipper LITERALLY made me trans (not literally but pretty much). it’s how i started watching other amazing cartoons and series i love, it’s literally what made me get into drawing art and writing and stuff. it’s what made me start making ocs. it literally made me an artist guys. which is how i started writing. without gravity falls and it’s effect it had on me, this account might have never existed?? i’m being super dramatic but wowww. i was so autistic about that silly cartoon

minecraft i love. i’ve been playing minecraft for over a decade and won’t stop because it’s like, probably a special interest of mine? i’ve watch minecraft youtubers forever too, hermitcraft and the life series are my favorite. i’m a huge grian fan too, been watching him since the evo days. anyway if u play minecraft and wanna play with me sometime, feel free to ask!!! :D i love making new friends and playing video games with people!!! let’s make a world together!!!

also i like terraria and stardew valley, and animal crossing new horizons but i haven’t played that in a few years. hmm other games i like are oneshot game, NITW, omori, celeste, cuphead, fnaf (although i’ve only played the first 5 games and am super super behind on the lore), ori, dead cells, untitled goose game (this is for u anon), and probably more i’m forgetting! feel free to recommend me some video games and we can even play together :3

other series i love are the umbrella academy. soooo autistic about this show it’s fucking AMAZING!!!!!! klaus is my favorite character. anyway i also like what we do in the shadows. it made me super autistic about vampires (before i watched this show i kinda thought vampires were cringe IDK WHY I’M SORRYY). the netflix show lucifer made me insane a few years ago and is what probably indirectly inspired me to give Dew wings. i also like our flag means death, breaking bad, moon knight, and camp here in there (another podcast i HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend, will wood made the soundtrack!)

i LOVEEE FINAL SPACE!! avocato has been my pfp on this account forever and now i feel like i can’t ever change it (i don’t want to). final space is seriously amazing!!! but it was cancelled and basically got fucked over by the networks- infinity train style. idk, stuff happened and it was removed from hbo max so there’s not really anywhere to watch it (legally) except for netflix international iirc? but it’s getting removed from that too i think. super fucking sad :( it ended on a huge cliffhanger too BUT there is a graphic novel being made!!!! super excited about that!

other cartoons i like are over the garden wall (dressed up as wirt for halloween last year), the owl house, adventure time, regular show, steven universe, infinity train, bojack horseman, rick and morty, mlp, the midnight gospel, and so much more i’m forgetting. OH anime i like are death note, demon slayer (haven’t caught up yet on the latest seasons tho), and MOB PSYCHO 100!! vampire in the garden on netflix is really amazing as well.

this is sooo long but now i gotta talk about my favorite music artists. WILL WOOD (AND THE TAPEWORMS) IS MY FAVORITEEE. I ALSO LOVEEE JHARIAH!!! AND HARLEY POE!!!!! top three of all time. i also like toby fox obviously, and glass beach (LITERALLY GOING TO SEE THEM IN MARCH AND I AM SOOO EXCITED!!!), mcr, shayfer james, weezer, mitski, lemon demon, set it off, tally hall, gerard way, and probably more i’m forgetting. i also like musicals!! (i was in the spongebob musical earlier this year for school! i was larry the lobster :))

so guys. GUYSSS. IF YOU LIKE MUSICALS, GO WATCH NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE!!!! OR JUST WATCH THE ENTIRE HATCHETFEILD TRILOGY!!! WHILE UR AT IT, WATCH ALL THE STARKID MUSICALS ACTUALLY!!! this is my current hyperfixation. the lords in black are amazing, npmd is amazing. i love everything about it. go watch it seriously, it’s fucking awesome and the soundtrack is AMAZING!!!

i think this is it. this got super long but i’m super passionate about my interests so yeah. this is pretty much everything. one very important thing (literally my special interest) that i didn’t mention are my other ocs. i have wayyy more ocs that are completely separate from the tllr ones. i don’t wanna post about them here though, cuz they’re not whump related and i want to keep my main account separate from this account. but they’re my favorite blorbos in existence so…

if u WANT to know about my other ocs, u can feel free to dm me for the username of my other fandom/oc account. that’s where i post other stuff that i don’t post here, like my fanart and my other oc stuff. i don’t post writing or anything like that there, so ur not missing out on that.

anyway those are most of my main interests! things i didn’t mention that im also really interested in are reptiles (snakes specifically), and animals in general. i have two leopard geckos named Lars and Alphys and i reallyyyy want a pet snake but my family hates snakes :(( anyway i’m rambling

thanks for the ask!!

[clood]

ao3 wrapped [writers edition]

MUAHAHAH time to be super annoying >:3c [copies and pastes the ones i've answered via ask]

1. How many words have you written this year? me: sees this question and immediately whips out the phone calculator this year i wrote 39,118 words! nowhere near as much as the freakish anomaly that was 2022, but still nothing to sneeze at ;) this is also not counting a SECRET WORK that i cannot reveal yet... that puts me at 41,208 heehee

2.How many works did you publish this year?

a nice, even 10!

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

because of the nature of the reverse bang and getting to create a fic for someone else's art, i am very proud of both rose-tinted and play pretend. particularly play pretend, because i think i achieved the princess bride vibe i was going for.

then of course i am so proud of myself for venturing into the one piece world with i'll leave it to you, which i don't consider to be good very at all but it marks the point where i took a little leap and shared something in a new space! growth!

4. What work of yours has the most hits?

only human, no contest. such is the nature of multichapter and big bang works xD

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

i'll leave it to you was so unexpected! with hxh being a relatively quieter fandom, i had no idea i would get as much engagement on a silly little oneshot in the one piece fandom as i did. bizarre.

goes to show that metrics like kudos and comments and hits are all fake and you should just write what makes you happy.

6. Favorite title you used

not so bad (after all) is such a good, classic something (something else) ao3 title xD

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

y'all. i'm being so for real when i tell you i am SHOCKED AND AMAZED at the fact that i did not use one single song lyric this year. what happened.

8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

LEOPIKA!!! you can tell i was in a leorio phase this year

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

LEOPIKAAAA!!! see above ;)

10. What work was the quickest to write?

the figurine disaster came so quick because it was so fucking funny in my head xD

11. What work took you the longest to write?

longest because of its length would obvi be only human. longest in terms of the emotional toll it took for me to figure out what the hell i was doing is nearly a tie between not so bad (after all) and play pretend.

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

hmmm only the one that's been sitting in my wips for nearly 3 years now. librarian/florist au i will destroy you.

13. What’s your longest work of the year?

my longest work this year is my hxhbb fic, only human, which sits at 16,724 words.

14. What’s your shortest work of the year?

omg so fun. conversely, my shortest work this year is the figurine disaster, a fic written for the greed island challenge server i help shal and liv run! this one has 1,221 words.

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

please see question 12 orz

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

y'all i am so shit at tagging things on ao3. tie between fluff and missing scene, which only have 2 works each xD

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

LEORIO!!!!! i had so much fun with leorio this year, i'm so glad i found my rhythm with him this year because every fic with him has been so much fun to think about.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

oof i think i butchered melody, tbh. not so bad (after all) was SO HARD to write because i didn't know who the hell melody was deep inside the way i felt i did leorio, so it feels really unbalanced imo. however, i am still proud of that work and i think the one person it was written for enjoyed it, so that's all that matters!

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

leozep... more zosan... shuggy... i read this question wrong and therefore will not choose one

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

through sheer force of will in editing, i suppose only human.

through the absolute giddiness of entering a new fandom, i'll leave it to you.

21. How many kudos in total did you get this year?

495. fic with most kudos was full bloom, merokomu fans have good taste

22. Which work has the most comments?

only human, as my only multichapter fic this year

23. Did you do any collaborative works this year?

if reverse bb fics count, then yes: rose-tinted and play pretend. otherwise, not this year!

24. Did you write any gifts this year?

yes!!!!! rose-tinted, play pretend, whisper in the wind, girl stuff, full bloom, and housewarming! 60% of this year's fics were gifted!

25. Did you receive any gifts this year?

YES SOBS. my dear sweet selkie wrote me THREE gifts this year and then some friends in the greed island server came together with gifts!!! for mods!! where Fathomless_Crazy wrote Paint This Paling Town and i wept about it

26. What’s your most common category?

M/M lmao with gen in second place

27. What do you listen to while writing?

i think this year i was a total weirdo and sat in silence. i do have a tunes for typing playlist though with no words to distract me that's just a mix of classical, videogame and anime soundtracks, and some random lofi

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

maybe rose-tinted? or honestly the figurine disaster was kind of funny. although i did really have fun with i'll leave it to you. GAH.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

oh christ. after brief reflection, i think the following chunk from my most recent fic and foray into the one piece fandom, i'll leave it to you, wins. the drama!! the angst!!

The reality is, Sanji has no idea what he’s doing, or even if he’s helping Zoro or just making everything worse. His hands, his goddamn fucking hands still tremble, and no amount of nicotine can help him now and—god fucking dammit Zoro is just bleeding through all the bandages Sanji is wrapping around him, staining a silk tiger crimson. So he keeps wrapping. There is nothing left for him to do but use up all the goddamn bandages he has. Sanji isn’t a god-fearing man, but as he works he is praying to whatever gods favor Wano—or don't, given what he’s seen of this desolate country—that he isn’t paralyzing or killing Zoro as he works.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

probably that i didn't do very much of it this year! i don't know where all the time went... through this it was a pleasant surprise to find that over half of my fics this year were gifts, so that's fun!

PHEW. now i cast the plague upon ye and tag everyone in the world who sees this to do it too :)

[lumilasi]

This feels kinda funny because I already had like...3-4 versions of this ref in my files. However, I still had to post this as new given I adjusted some details + added that channeling form for Azul.

I meant to do something else today, but since I only had one thing to add for Azul's ref, figured I'd get this out of the way. I initially meant to put him and Reuben together, but Reuben's design needs bigger adjustments so...its just my favorite coffee-powered grumpy boy dealing with a demanding grandpa.

......I still struggle with drawing his beard, haven't figured out yet how to draw it well lmao

Texts + extra info below:

Azul Samaros, the heir of the Shadow King

Basics:

Age: 27

Family: Twin brother Reuben, adoptive parents Annabell & Lionel, Younger brother Adam

Love interest: Diojas Vermonte, eldest prince of Valerna

Being type: Human Mage, specializing in Dark Arts and ancient magic from his ancestral kingdom

Familiar: Lasha, a Lost Soul snake/Naga demon who was once an Arthanosian warrior. (He lost himself to his power’s corrupting influence.)

Abilities:

He is very knowledgeable about different curses and dark magic spells/objects, knowing how to recognize and deal with majority of them. He‘s also a skilled exorcist, and is good with all sorts of intelligence gathering tricks, be it magic based, or more old-fashioned espionage. Azul can channel his ancestor Amaros’ magic, which is his primary ability. He‘s also good with stabby things.

Personality summary:

Azul shares some similarities in personality with his mentoring ancestor; he’s also typically serious, not at all interested in small talk, and is often blunt with his words. However, beneath his rough exterior Azul is a very caring and kind individual, who’s not willing to sacrifice people for “the greater good” the same way Amaros would. He’s a very trustworthy and loyal friend, which is why he has quite a few, despite seeming like someone hard to befriend.

Role Summary:

Azul is the protagonist of this character set, mainly working as the Dark Arts expert mage for their home Kingdom’s Queen. His task is mostly to protect the citizens from, and investigate unseen threats that are better off not being public knowledge. He does also have an involuntary role as the “problem solver” of his friends and family, the person who people most often come to if they mess up a spell or fool with a cursed object without their knowledge. While he grumbles about it, Azul doesn’t really mind.

Azul’s more personal, primary mission is to fulfill the task his ancestor-turned-Deity Amaros gave him, in exchange for saving him and his brother’s lives. He ended up with this job, because of his unique ability to channel Amaros’ power far better than anyone before him, to the point in rare circumstances he can wield his full power and command Amaros’ Lost Souls.

Amaros essentially saved them by bringing them to his former lover Helias’ secret kingdom Mirthas, after the boys’ father caused Reuben’s elemental power to go out of control, killing everyone in their village accidentally. Amaros saved Helias’ life and demanded that in exhange for his help, they’d give the boys a new home and help with learning to control their abilities. The pair ended up being adopted by the local doctor, Lionel, and his opera singing wife Annabell. (Later on, as the boys became adults, they moved to live in another kingdom called Valerna)

OTHER FACTS

Basically, there's 3 Kingdoms relevant to Azul and his brother: Arthanos (A warrior kingdom their family originated from) Mirthas (A hidden kingdom mostly populated by mythical beings) and Valerna (their current home, a friend kingdom of Mirthas)

Their adoptive parents are mythical beings as well; Lionel is a Chesire cat, and Annabell is a songbird. Their little brother and Lionel & Annabell's biological child Adam is also a Chesire cat.

When using his ancestor's Deity powers, he can 1. control shadow element, 2. create weapons out of the crystal structures, these things can harm one's soul without damaging the body if he wishes so. 3. Use telepathy to communicate with people beyond just Lasha, 4. summon more demons and command them for a bit. 5. be invulnerable to everything not strong enough to harm/kill a Deity for a very short period of time. (Basically immune to everything outside other Deities' powers)

The crystals on his body when in Channeling form emanate from his tattoos, he gained those when he first began channeling Amaros' powers. They do sometimes ache a bit if he uses this power for too long.

Diojas ended up falling for Azul after the mage helped him figure out and undo a curse that had been secretly put on him at birth.

Azul mainly has female friends, and gets pretty annoyed if anyone makes suggestive comments about it, either scaring the shit outta them or letting the ladies do it themselves if they feel like it.

These friends include Miriam, a Clairvoyant/Medium, Lumi, a snow magic Warlock, Avara, Lumi's sister and an Astral mage, Scarlet, a ship captain, and Mirthas' other ruler, Helias' sister Gwendolyn.

He does have male friends too of course, such as Scarlet's brother Alexei, The current prince of Arthanos Joshua, and Miriam's childhood friend and Wyvern companion, Maxwell.

Azul is typically serious, but does have a sense of humor and a mischievous side, that tends to come out mainly around Diojas, Reuben, or during their world's equivalent of Halloween, known as Hollow Twilight or Hollowlight Eve. (he's basically pulling the best and scariest pranks out there)

He got his snake by attempting to summon himself a familiar, as his adoptive father figured that could be helpful for him; none of them realized he's likely summon a demon from his own ancestry.

Lasha basically gained his sense of self and sanity back thanks to being summoned by Azul, the literal child of their Deity. Lasha is very protective over his Master, and the pair have a very close friendship between them.

Azul is a night owl and often gets scolded by his brother, friends, or his brother's Familiar Djinn Athem over it. The best person(s) to get him to sleep are his mum, dad, or Diojas.

Lot of Azul's outfit is a reference to people close to him; His overcoat is one of Lionel's old ones, the bag was given to him by Annabell, and his choker is a "gift" from Diojas; he basically just used it to cover a nasty wound as they didn't have proper bandaging with them at the time, and Azul just kept wearing it. His crystal knife of course, is a weapon Amaros gave him.

When in his Channeling form, the choker's pattern changes from the peacock feather representing Diojas to the purple star representing Amaros.

Azul's hair also turns into more of a white flame essence in Channeling form, and the main reason it remains poofy looking even when normal is due to his connection with Amaros. His hair would naturally hang lower and be more scraggly.

Azul sometimes calls Amaros "Gramps" or "old man," and is the only one who can get away with it (Reuben too, but Reuben is too polite and nice to insult Amaros)

Azul is closer with their adoptive dad than mum, given he was the one initially mentoring him with his powers. He's also not as close with Adam as Reuben, as Azul is kind of bad with kids, and Adam is much younger than them. He still loves his baby brother of course.

[androdetective]

I LITERALLY HAVE THE SAME THOUGHTS FOR CINDY 😭 I love the idea of her putting flowers in her hair the drawing is so cute 😭💖 I think she's very into lovey things like hearts and notes and stuff like that. Very into pinks and reds. I'd like to think that when she was small, her parents had her do martial arts, and that's why she's so strong and able to kick ass. (She should've kicked Tulio's ass PLEASE she should've done it. For me 🫶. And for all the characters he's screwed over) Cindy having one or two immigrant parents would be so interesting. I imagine she would've helped out with the restaurant and knows how to cook amazing stuff. Her falling so hard for Tulio is so sad 😭 like she fell very dramatically hard it made me worry for her!!! Bbygirl please leave him you can't fix him. Tulio was so dismissive of her feelings and played with them sm 😭 like he barely seemed to care for her but still kept on trying to make things up to her, only to fall back on ignoring her. Tulio might be one of my favs but when I get my hands on him istg 👆👆 why was she so forgiving towards him especially in season 4 aaa how often do shitty people appear in her life for her to forgive him over and over.

With Amapola, she definitely has her own character. I didn't want to imply otherwise!! I meant that one of her things is being a love interest of Bodoque (and while that isnt the worst thing in the world id like to see a female character not always have a guy after her? If that makes sense. Ik its bodoque being bodoque here but yeah), but she did manage to have her own character outside of that! I doubt this would ever happen, but I'd love to see something starring her 😭 I want her personality to be expanded on so bad. Being an ecologist and working in the mines is so??/pos She's a busy and hardworking woman. No wonder she seems so done with Bodoque a lot. And yes that green note is one of my favorites zjdbysjz. Because of that i like to think she's competitive in games and bets.

Several puppets in the show have been ugly but they didn't have to do Cachirula like that 😭😭 Her being a pink Darla Dimple-esque character would've rocked sm omgg. Estrella de Lana influencing her to be more evil is so good omg. Like an evil doll influencing her child owner. I also thought for a while that she was an adult. The makeup definitely threw me off too. Estrella making her grow up by exacerbating bad behaviors and controlling her looks (like makeup) sets up a very interesting dynamic for them aa. Juanín baby ik you are not above forgiving bad people you can forgive and adopt the peanut head kid 🫶 I can definitely see her being a child genius bc she knows the island layout and manages robots very well for an 8 year old (as it was revealed it the libro gordo) (and yes blueprint is the right word :]) I always thought she was a very lonely kid bc she kept on forcing animals to be her friends. Like it's so sad such a little girl doesn't have friends her age 😭 it really seems like being an orphan away from people has affected her so so much. Someone please get her good guardians and therapy. I think she wasn't taught how to treat people and animals right, like as living beings. Which would make her loneliness even worse. And she has such an idealized idea of friends that seems like she wasnt taught about them. And shows even more how growing up without parents traumatized her wahh.

I find it really cool you have so many thoughts on her and her parents and her possible relation with Juanín. If you ever write about these things it'd be such a treat to see :] (also I get you tulio is bbg 🫶 while cachirula is baby girl)

Everyday I get so sad that the few female 31m characters we had weren't as well developed as the guys and/or were made as a love interest to a main guy character

Cindy I am avenging you. Why was she just made into a crazy ex gf character? Why wasn't she given her own personality and development that wasn't connected to Tulio 😭 From what it seems we can tell she's a very devoted person who loves love. She loved Tulio even when he kept on hurting her like ?? Like I want to see them expand on why she's like that!! What are her hobbies what are her quirks who are her friends

Amapola does have a character (even if half the reason she's there was to be Bodoque's love interest) she's smart and cares about the environment. She isn't really impressed with Bodoque. But I wish she'd be able to shine on her own without Bodoque. She's cool with cheating in gambling and told Bodoque to jump into a volcano bc he lost a game. Like that's so interesting especially for her character!! (And also really funny) I want to see more stuff like this from her let her be fucked up!!! Give her quirks, I want to see her be expanded on! Like is she willing to do that again to other people that annoy her? How many times has she done stuff like that before bc with how casual she was its💀💀

I just wish there were more female main characters planned 😭 patana is the only one and she was only added bc they had to have a female character 😭

At least Corchetis was expanded on a bit, but she isn't that popular

Cachirula was a female villain introduced in the movie and she seems interesting!!! Like an orphan girl left with a fortune and using it for fucked up things. I feel like she would've been more popular if she had a more typically appealing design (basically not having a peanut head)

Does this all make sense or am I loosing it

[taki118]

IruClarAzz Master Post Part 6

Just collecting all of the cuteness of the Love Trio and adding my commentary.This is all takes place during the current Heartbreaker arc so spoilers abound here. Its not everything everything but close there’s a lot of just little things and trying to focus on the three. (Also warning I may make jabs at the IruAmeri ship here and there just small comparisons showing why I don’t like it as much, no hate but if you don’t like your ship being talked about even slightly negatively probably look away.)

If you didn’t see it Part 1 is here, Part 2 is here, Part 3 here Part 4 here and Part 5 here.

Been a while but I’m back in my shipping hell. So our trio are split for a test leading pairs of first years.

Gotta have em together while giving the explanation. Azz is way too excited.

Look at these dorks posing ah my children. anyway Our Love Trio is front and center.

Prior to the test Clara gets a scolding by Azz. (He’s moming her I love it)

Its just too cute and I think it says a lot about their growth that Clara gladly takes it.

Though she’s not good at putting Azz words to practice when her freshman ask for a plan and we get Insight into how Clara’s mind works.

As she gets overwhelmed she recalls Azz lessons

Azz tries to make her bloodline ability more practical but she doest really see the point.

But Iruma puts some things into perspective.  

God look how happy she is, Iruma sees the best in her abilitys and her way at looking at things. Remembering this gives her the edge to come up with a plan, its weird and fun but it nearly succeeds. Sadly her team still gets taken out of the test. 

Again Iruma got love senses he has a feeling its Clara in trouble. 

One of Iruma’s first years lets him in on the rumors about him and he’s horrified. Earlier when the teachers discussed the Iruma Harem rumor Azz was not associated but I think its purposeful here that Azz is at least Harem adjacent to the students. (in my min they arent wrong just inaccurate) 

THis art is so cute and they got little pins of each other

Same when Iruma is solo

They just look so good together, nice detail but the glove on finger Clara wears her ring is fingerless to show it off.

Anyway when Azz hears about teams being eliminated his mind first goes to Clara. 

And he’s upset, taking things more seriously. (this could mean he does hold Clara and her abilities in high regard) He also worries for Iruma.

Sabrock’s sister comes in to stop Azz from possibly acting impulsively and I think its funny her brother warned her about this before the test started. 

Azz starts to fight a teacher specializing in fire magic and when he asks him why he refuses to use his bloodline magic we get a flashback where Azz shows off some of his fire magic he’s been developing with Balam.

And he asks this question. Azz is taken aback but confesses it’s not its just something he’s good at, he tries to bring himself to tell Iruma what his true bloodline magic is but

(love that he brigs up soulmate) But Iruma recalls Azz’s mom’s words and says that he himself has secrets he’s not ready to share and suspects the same of Clara (oooo foreshadowing perhaps?) and he tells Azz he doesnt have to feel pressured to tell him if he’s not ready. 

God this shot is so cute you can’t really tell here but its actually a softer tone than the rest of the page. 

Iruma then proceeds to gush about Azz magic. Its so cute. 

And god this scene is so lovely Iruma embracing Azz magic without the slightest fear. 

Because he knows and trusts Azz so much, and while he doesnt know a lot about magic he knows how hard Azz is working.

Like when he said Clara’s abilities are for fun, Iruma acknowledges not only Azz strength but his work and efforts and he’s so touched. 

And he can’t handle it for a moment (totally platonic way to react here he literally gets overheated) He then vows to use primarily his fire magic because Iruma saw right through him. As no one else saw how hard he was working, he’s a “genius” after all why would he need to work hard?

Iruma hearing how others are dropping out like Azz thinks of Clara

We get a flashback for Caim, when people compared him to Azz which he does not care for even when its by Iruma (also this was a while back look at his hair length) Probably one of the few times he doesnt agree with Iruma, also Clara is so cute

This is so sweet nice to see Azz joining in the fun.

We see the class from Agares perspective and even he gotta put the love trio together.

And Azz is explaining his development and personally I think the characters used for this shot is to show his favorites in the class, Iruma and Clara being obvious, but Sabnock and Illid kinda sneaking up on him and I think he has some respect for Jazz. 

god these cuties

So Azz was all ready to fight Kalego but Iruma summed him and Azz reaction is too great.

So Iruma and his team hear voices and from this faint sound he knows EXACTLY who this belongs to

AHHHHH they are so happy to see each other (and i know its hard to tell here but its been a good 20ish chapters since they were with each other and I was so happy for this) 

I mean look at them they are so happy, iruma has fucking flowers around him he’s so happy. 

Azz notices Kalego and can’t help but taunt him in a rather familiar way. 

hahaha and Kalego points it out Azz definitely has picked up traits from Clara unconsciously. (they say you do this when you get close to someone)

So Iruma gets captured by a bad guy and I think its interesting that while theres about 6 people in the scene and the creator focuses on Azz and his reactions

I do just love this shot as he’s getting dragged away iruma focuses on Azz and Kalego. 

Ok I just wanna say I love this art and I adored this arc we really got to see what the teachers can do. But Again our Love Trio are deliberately together. 

So Azz team wins with one surviving heart Iruma and Clara and front and center to cheer for them. 

Azz is asked by a teacher why he doesn’t look happy and he says how it wasnt just him and his team that made this possible everyone helped even in little ways and he finds it a bit frustrating and again his focus appears to be on Iruma and Clara

And Awww just look how much our boy has grown this arc was secretly about Azz development all along. But for this post we’re just gonna focus on Iruma and Clara being front and center.

But twist of twists turns out Jazz plan worked and one of his team mates was protected and Azz gets to share the spot light with him happily as his soulmates cheer. And this is the end of the heartbreaker arc. 

So not gonna hear from me for a while as this literally just came out. But I will continue my efforts as the series continues.

[crab-instruments]

Of Rats and Men Part 3

<Part 2 Part 4>

Pairing: Silco x Female Reader

Rating/Warning: teen, violence, reader gives threats and hurts someone but nothing too graphic

Summary: You are a traveling medic, journeying between Piltover and Zaun. One night, you stumble upon a man and take him in. His presence causes havoc on your practice. Set between Act I & Act II. a/n: Sorry about the delay, I moved and got sucked into writing Lock and Key. I have editing the past two chapters slightly for some typos and such (especially since someone said they were rereading it, you kind, brave soul).

For @imalovernotahater

You stared at the pair, an odd silence settling in what was left of your waiting room. “I… what?”

“It seems your practice could use another coat of paint, among other things. I would like to offer my help. Would this be an acceptable form of payment?”

“How did you even know?”

“Word travels fast and I make it my business to know. You’ll need a place to stay, yes? I’ll provide that for you as well. Wouldn’t be good for your lungs to stay in an area damaged by smoke until it’s cleaned up, if the book you lent me is worth its weight. If there’s anything else, I’ll make sure any of your requests are handled.”

Unsure of how to respond, you run your fingers through your hair. This man waltzes in, ready to fix all of your problems, problems you haven’t even had for that long. You barely had time to even think of everything you would need to do but here he was, offering solutions.

“Why… would you do all of this? Do you feel… responsible? If that’s the reason, then—”

“I certainly do not give out charity.” He walked around, inspecting the area like it was a museum, pausing every so often to see the work of art left by the flames. He stopped at the counter you stood in front of, about to continue speaking before something caught his eye. Silco’s facial expression changed, and he slowly grabbed the object Jinx gave you. “Where did you get this?”

You knitted your eyebrows together, not understanding his fascination with the contraption nor the sudden change in topic. “There was a girl last night. She was distressed, upset about something. I calmed her down, helped her. Jinx. Before she left she gave me that as a thank you. I think. Actually, you might want to be careful with that, it could be an active bomb.”

Silco met your eyes, his expression soft. It reminded you of the small smile you saw when he left the first time. An expression that showed so much affection on his scarred face, you wish you could have it memorialized in a painting so you could gaze upon it every day.

“It seems I owe you more than I initially thought,” he mumbled, almost absentmindedly. He put the gadget back on the counter before recomposing himself, adjusting his waistcoat. “Come, I’m sure you’re tired and don’t want to think about this now. Gather what you need from here and I’ll have you taken care of while you decide what you want to do next.”

You stared at him again, shaking your head before smiling to yourself and doing what he told you. This was not the drug lord you heard whispers on the street about.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The Lanes seemed quiet as the three of you walked. You could feel eyes follow you from the dark corners of alleys, but they were more likely for the pair in front of you. The fluorescent and neon lights hurt your eyes, making it hard to take in the full extent of the area.

Eventually you reached a giant neon eye staring at you with the name ‘The Last Drop’ in the middle. This was his base of operations, so you heard. Entering felt like walking into a different world. The bar was open but quiet, and those behind the bar were stocking up to keep busy. They stole glances as the three of you walked up the stairs.

Silco stopped in front of a door in the hallway. “Here is the room you can stay in for now. My office is—”

“The big important looking one directly at the end of the hall?”

He chuckled, “yes, that would be it. Please, let me know if you need anything.”

The two turned and headed in that direction, disappearing behind the door.

You took a breath before putting your hand on the doorknob and twisting it. It creaked like every floorboard in this place. You entered quickly, shutting the door tightly, and leaned your back against it. Slowly, you slid to the floor, tucking your knees to your chest.

Everything felt real and unreal. Are you really here? Did your home burn down? Were you supposed to be dead right now? Grief creeped up, put a hand on your shoulder and dug in harshly. It wasn’t about losing the building, that could be replaced. The pain and sadness you felt stemmed from losing what it stood for: a sanctuary. Built by you.

You knocked your head against the door before standing to snap yourself out of this feeling. It wasn’t productive. You were alive and you created Para-Medic from nothing, you could and would do it again. As you placed what few things you brought with you on the desk, some supplies and the bomb Jinx gave you, doubt clouded your mind once more. Should you rebuild Para-Medic? Were you doing more harm than good not passing judgements, like taking care of Silco? What else was there to be?

The bed in the small room could not have looked more comforting than it did at that moment. Not knowing what else to do, you slipped under the covers and let exhaustion take you.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You didn’t dream and were thankful for it. With so many worries buzzing around your head, it would have only led to nightmares. The room had no windows, so there was no real way of knowing how much time had passed. You did know, however, you were still tired and there was nothing you could do to remove that.

Sitting up slowly, you rubbed your face in your hands. What would you do now? Would you continue your work from here? What about the Topsiders?

“Fuck.”

You heard a giggle. Turning your head slowly, you saw someone sitting on the floor, looking up at you. You did your best to not scream, but you jumped and hit the wall with your back. Cackling erupted.

“You should have seen your face!”

“Jinx! What are you doing here? What are you doing in this room?” You took deep breaths to calm your heart, but truth be told, the sight of Jinx made matters even more complicated.

“Dad said there was a guest and not to disturb them, but once I learned it was you, I wanted to see you. I didn’t want to wake you, so I just waited.” You noticed then she was fiddling with some of the medical equipment you had brought, namely the stethoscope was around her neck and was spinning a syringe in her hand. You couldn’t bring yourself to care as you processed her words.

“…Dad?”

“Silco.”

“Silco… is your dad…”

“Yep.”

“The same one you mentioned the other day?”

“Yeah. Is this really that difficult?”

“I think Silco being a father is harder to grasp than him being your father. At the same time, with everything that has happened in the past few days, why not? Maybe I’ll become a bio-engineer and make some clones tomorrow.” You sighed. “Are you doing better? Silco, your father, which is still a shock to me, he forgave you?”

“You’re crazy, you know that, right? Your home went up in flames and you’re asking about how I’m doing?” You didn’t say anything, the silence letting Jinx continue. “Yeah, you were right. He was worried, though he didn’t say so or show it at all.”

“I always thought Silco was very transparent about his feelings. Heart right on his sleeve, that man.”

Jinx giggled in response.

The door swung open suddenly. The golden armed woman quickly zeroed in on you.

“Good, you’re awake. Boss wants to see you.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“I never got your name. What is it, if you don’t mind?”

She huffed, inconvenienced, but that seemed to be her whole persona. One inconvenience away from committing mass murder. “Sevika. Hope you’re not squeamish, Doc. No room for Piltie sensitivity, though Silco thinks he’s giving you a gift of some sort.”

“What do you mean by—”

Sevika didn’t let you finish the question, knocking on Silco’s door before opening it.

The office wasn’t grand but gave off the atmosphere of being grand. Possibly because it was Silco’s, and his presence commanded a certain ambiance. The room matched his outfit; fashioned after Piltover but in the style of Zaun. A giant window behind his desk to look out of, books along the wall that may or may not have been read, luxurious furniture that was well worn but high quality. The man himself sat behind the desk, a lit cigar in his hand. The smell from the cigar hung in the air, but you imagined the room would have smelled the same regardless, as it seemed to be ‘his scent.’

What did not belong in the room were two familiar looking men tied up and gagged in front of Silco’s desk. They looked like they had seen better days, bruised and beat up.

Walking into the room, you did your best to keep your expression neutral.

“My dear Medic, I hope you are finding your accommodations satisfactory.” Silco put the cigar down, putting it out in a fluid motion.

“Yes, thank you, Silco. It is very generous of you.”

“I’m no doctor but I assume you’ll want to get some rest before deciding on what to do with your practice. We can handle that in a few days’ time but say the word if you are ready sooner.” He stood and leaned against the desk. “However, I do have a task for you that unfortunately cannot wait. These two were overheard discussing a fire they caused in Piltover. It didn’t take much to reveal they were the arsonists behind the destruction of your home and practice. Considering the damage was to you and your property, the decision on what to do with them falls to you.”

Recalling Sevika’s words before entering about a gift, you thought this is what she was referring to. The choice to take your own revenge. It made sense, the kingpin would think someone would want retribution for what happened, it was the way of the Undercity. Here he was, serving it to you on a silver platter. The question that plagued you the most was why was Silco giving it to you? You weren’t the target, he was. In a sense, the building was collateral damage.

A few seconds had ticked by, and all eyes were on you. Silco looked hopeful, waiting for your next move. The eyes of the two men were anxious but unremorseful.

“You’re sure it was them?”

Sevika spoke from behind you. “I made sure of it myself. Would you like a signed confession?”

You shook your head, looking back at Silco. “These two… are just a symptom of a larger problem. It would not… they are much lower on the food chain. Killing them won’t protect you or serve your interest much.”

A mischievous smirk played on Silco’s lips. “Yes, you are correct. Making an example out of them doesn’t benefit me as much as it would benefit you. From what I can tell, they acted on their own which is why it was easy to find them. They got lucky that night, but that luck ends here. Their actions have started an outrage throughout Zaun, many depended on your care.”

“Allowing you to handle this would align me with you, would it not?”

“Perhaps some might see it that way. I have my own ideas as to what I would like done, but it is truly in your hands.”

“So, if I were to say to turn them over to the Enforcers?”

“Of course, if that is what you wish. I have some… contacts and would make sure they would feel the full extent of the law. You could let them go. You could have them killed in a slow and agonizing way.”

This was a turning point. Whatever your decision here decided your fate and that was a huge weight to bear. Nothing seemed like the correct answer; everything was going to have consequences.

You stepped forward and kneeled down in front of the two men. “Whose decision was it, to burn my practice down?” Neither could speak with the gags in their mouth, but the shorter one pointed with his eyes. The taller one didn’t move. You removed the taller one’s gag so he could speak. “What decision do you think I’ll make? What fate will I give you, hmm?”

He looked ready to eat your face. “You won’t do nothin’. You’re a Topsider with no spine. I’d do it again.”

You smiled in a sickly sweet kind of way. A kind of smile that only led to malice. Before he could even think of backtracking, you slammed your fist into his nose, breaking it with surgical precision.

“Sorry honey, wrong guess. Would you like to go for Double Jeopardy where the scores can really change?”

Blood dripped down his now smashed face. “You bitch!” Silco moved, obviously upset by the targeted insult, but you raised your hand to stop him.

You gripped the man’s jaw harshly, forcing him to look at you straight on. “In truth, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do until you spoke. You’re right, I am a Topsider by birth, but everyone has their limits. It’s really the kindest ones you don’t want to test.

“I was a surgeon before becoming Para-Medic. I know exactly how to cause the most pain while keeping you alive. So many ways of making you regret being born into this world you never thought possible.” Still holding his jaw, you slap his ear hard with an open hand and his face twisted in pain. “That just caused your eardrum to tear.” You didn’t have much room to maneuver, but you twisted his shoulder harshly. “Dislocated your shoulder.” You looked over at the smaller man. “Do you get it? What I give, I can also take away?” He nodded furiously.

You stood quickly and backed away from the two tied up arsonists. Your eyes flitter over to Silco. He looked… disheveled, pupils blown wide. Awestruck and maybe in love, but that could be your imagination. “Do what you want with Nosebleed, whatever you see fit. Rough up the other one but keep him alive. He has a message to spread for those who think they can harm Para-Medic.”

Without a second thought, you left the room.

Part 4

Notes:

and nobody fucks with the white mage

"Maybe I’ll become a bio-engineer and make some clones tomorrow": reference back to the MGS Para-Medic/Dr. Clark, who cloned Big Boss.

"Sorry Hans, wrong answer"

[kimmyyang]

210408 Zhang Zhehan's interview with Elle Magazine

"I want to be like Ah-Xu, be a gentle yet strong person."

On the day of the photoshoot, it was a rare windy day in Bei Hai. The weather forecast reported it will rain, which made everyone slightly heart-stricken. "Can we still take photos by the seaside?", "how about changing the location?", we were worrying, but fortunately it didn’t rain, only left with steer drop in temperature and roaring wind.

On the way to the photoshoot location, Zhang Zhehan recorded the sound of wind outside of the window. To be able to use the last bit of daylight before the sun sets completely, after filming, he only had one hour and a bit to go back to the hotel, have dinner, change clothes, and get his makeup done. And now, when we have done everything, he uses the time in the car to chat with the long-waited fans in the drama interactive zone.

Busy is an expected state. But when we saw him at the location, you can’t tell any trace of being busy from his face. The strong wind blew the gravels on the beach in the sky. During the interval of the photoshoot, everyone couldn’t help but complained about the cold wind and getting sand all over their faces. Only Zhang Zhehan looked more relaxed as if he came back from a different beach as us.

When we moved to the coffee shop, we finally had time to sit down and talk. He asked the staff to give him a cushion for his back, at that moment, it was probably the first time that made us realize that he is actually very tired. "It’s tough and tiring to be an actor, right?" we haven’t even finished the sentence, and he disagreed, "it’s all the same, every job is tough and tiring."

It seems that he has a big heart.

He chose to ride to Tibet with his friend for his graduation trip. Like his mum said he always has the spirit of seeking out suffering. Speaking of this journey, he said: "we’re living too happily, most families don’t have to worry about clothes and food, don’t need to go through a lot of hardships. I like what Huang Lei teacher once said, ‘people will only have faith after suffering, people will understand kindness after suffering.’ I think after seeing the suffering in the world and feel the suffering yourself - you will be kind to others."

After hearing what he said, you will realize that ‘big heart’ could have been a misunderstanding. He can’t dilute ‘sufferings’ more than others, instead, in the moments of ‘seeking out sufferings’, his feeling towards ‘sufferings’ is stronger and more abundant compared to most people.

He has a very meticulous side, he feels, understands, and hides his ‘sufferings’. Then, those experiences and feelings related to sufferings become something that is hard for others to spot on him.

He said, "when we’re going through a hardship, we can only see the hardship itself, you don’t realize that it’s actually reminding you something and teaching you something else." This is also his understanding of being mature – you can see the many sides of one thing.

‘Bruce Almighty’， ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’， ‘The Bucket List’ are his favorite movies. He said, "there’s a line from Bruce Almighty that left a deep impression – do you really hope God will give you happiness? Maybe everyone’s interpretation of happiness is different, but in the movie, the protagonist only realized it at the end, God was giving him happiness, but not the so-called happiness, God taught him the ability to gain happiness." He pressed his thumb again his chin, slightly looking down, earnestly sharing his impression of the movie.

He added, "you’re actually changing your perspective of the problem." Like what he wrote before, "being mature is being able to see the things that you couldn’t see before."

Maybe if the settling time is long enough, you will be able to stay calm in the change of tides and guard yourself in the quicksand under your feet. Speaking of popularity, he was calmer than we expected.

He said, "popularity is very important for an actor. I think it’s complementary, when you’re popular, you will receive more attention. You will be able to carry some things on your shoulders, first, it can prove that you have the ability, second, it can prove you’re acknowledged by the market."

He continued, "as actors, we also need to be acknowledged by the market. I have seen some amazing actors, they put so much effort into every character but maybe haven’t been acknowledged by the market yet, so they remain unknown. Therefore, a lot of great characters won’t fall into their hands.” It sounds cruel but it’s an undeniable fact. He added, “if you’re not popular, good scripts won’t even land in your hands."

The success of ‘Word of Honor’, to Zhang Zhehan, is like winning the lottery.

He said, "the success of a drama depends on timing, geographical and social conditions, none of these is dispensable. There are hundreds and thousands of dramas filmed each year, but in the end, there will only be one or two that everyone would love. That kind of feels like winning the lottery."

Working hard is very common, it’s nothing special, he thinks it’s unreasonable if you just use ‘working hard’ and ask why you are ‘under appreciated’. Just like how everyone praises him for being an experiential actor and praises his immersive acting. But he thinks, this is the passing line to be an actor, this is what actors are supposed to do.

He said, "if you’re an actor and you don’t experience the character, how could you portray it well, if you don’t get into the character, how could you make the character come to life?"

Working hard, experiencing, and immersing… he views them as a refined definition of actor, these are the preconditions of the lottery ticket. As for whether you can win the lottery in the end, no one can predict it. At least in his experience, he waited for 11 years for that winning lottery ticket.

After the filming ended, he wrote ‘jianghu, goodbye’ on Weibo, when the last episode aired, it was exactly 6 months after the last day of filming. His Weibo is on the setting of showing only the recent 6 months’ posts, as if it was a ‘long been destined’ farewell.

Perhaps the character Zhou Zi Shu is destined to be his. During the four months of filming, he had to gradually reveal Zhou Zi Shu’s two thousand layers of gray, he had to find him, become him, and lastly live the rest of his life for him.

Actors are probably all like this, they always must pour in their own life, emotions, and experience to make the character come to life. The process of making the character come to life means the actors get to experience life and emotions once again.

"Life is experience, you need to put some of your experiences into your characters."

Hegel mentioned in ‘Lectures on Aesthetics’ - 艺术通过供观照的形象可以缓和最酷烈的悲剧命运, 使它成为欣赏的对象。(thank you @sixteenthshen for providing the original quote!)

the specific lines zzh mentioned is bolded: If we are in a general way permitted to regard human activity in the realm of the beautiful as a liberation of the soul, as a release from constraint and restriction, in short, to consider that art does actually alleviate the most overpowering and tragic catastrophes by means of the creations it offers to our contemplation and enjoyment, it is the art of music which conducts us to the final summit of that ascent to freedom.

The reason why those so-called pains are endowed with aesthetic tension may lie in ‘being watched with pleasure’. Those most beautiful things aren’t been torn in our real lives, they become one ‘tearing performance’ after another, being shown on the stage, shown on the screen. The existence of aesthetic distance made ‘those so-called pains’ into something that can be bearable, having its own appreciation.

That so-called ‘pain’ experience comes more direct towards actors, there’s not much room for leeway. In his previous interview, he commented that Zhou Zi Shu is the most memorable character, the character that hurt him the most. Talking about ‘getting hurt’ again, he thinks that is unavoidable.

"I say that an actor has to get into the character and get out of character quickly. But when you’re acting in a happy scene, that happy feeling might last for a day or few days. When you’re acting in a sad, heart-broken scene, even you say it’s ok, it’s fine, it won’t affect me. But it will affect your mood, including your actions. When I go back to my room, I can’t help but to think about that scene, I might not be willing to go out and walk around."

"So, do you think acting is a process of wearing yourself out and wearing emotions down?"

"Of course, of course, of course, it’s wearing myself out." He said of course three times consecutively, "it’s not just wearing my emotions down, it also wears my physical strength out, wears my experience out, and a lot of my own things. So, if I want to do well in a piece of work, I can’t go into the next crew right after I have finished filming. Because you will have traces of the last piece of work, it’s actually hard to accept and get into the next character."

"I personally really like to stay in the filming crew, the reason why I said Zhou Zi Shu is great is that we couldn’t have any other work due to COVID-19 restrictions. I was in the crew for 4 months, in peace. I was looking into and experiencing the character carefully."

On the day of the interview, the Q&A part about acting was the most ‘unrestrained’. Every time we throw out a question, we would always get a powerful and resonating reply. From the perspective of a bystander, you could feel that he is the kind of person that is shining in his professional field.

At the end of every drama/ film, he would choose to leave that environment, and go out to have fun for few days. "I’m not insisting that I need to disengage from the drama/ film, I just want to relax, return to myself, return to Zhang Zhehan’s life."

"So, when you’re looking at Zhou Zi Shu again now as a viewer, do you have any different sentiment?"

"Of course, I would think of the funny parts and incidents. A lot of interesting bits that I’ve added in myself, you can see it in the character." Fortunately, as an actor, he can also feel the happiness that ordinary viewers have.

In our conversation, the words that he mentioned the most were 'gentle yet strong'.

"I really like netizens' comments that Zhou Zi Shu is gentle yet strong."

"The quality that I admire the most now is gentle yet strong."

"I feel like now I want to be like Ah-Xu, someone who is gentle yet strong."

"I want to be like Ah-Xu, become a bit gentler."

He thinks this seemingly contradictory combination is very interesting, "strong describes a person who is strong, whereas gentle is soft. These two words may seem to have no connection, but when they’re put together, it’s also a perfect connection."

"I didn’t feel this way before. I used to think people have to be strong, powerful, how can you be gentle yet strong? I think that’s something I need to learn now. This person must make everyone around them feel comfortable and think of others, but at the same time he/ she is also an individual who’s very strong and full of capabilities."

"Like water, it’s like this when it’s calm, it’s like that when it’s surging high."

He used as many hand gestures as he could as he wanted to express what’s on his mind as much as possible.

Gentle yet strong, this is what he saw, felt from Zhou Zi Shu, and it’s also the character experience he most wants to leave behind.

"Speaking of what hasn’t changed for 11 years, is that I’m still acting; speaking of changes there are a lot. All these years of experience, it became my understanding of each character, in contrast, 11 years of acting experience allowed me to learn a lot from my characters."

To him, every big or small character he had in the past 11 years is a mutual encounter, he gave something to the characters, and the characters also left him with something.

Those who have seen his acting praise him that he truly understands Zhou Zi Shu, so we asked how he could stand in the perspective of Zhou Zi Shu to understand his words and actions. He doesn’t think that it was understanding, it just naturally happened.

"I didn’t deliberately try to understand him, I think what he did was just following his heart, that’s how I feel, so that’s how it should be. I would ask if it was myself, can I do that? Is it acceptable? If I think it’s ok, then it’s right. If I think it’s unacceptable, I will definitely tell the director - 'I don’t want to act this way.'"

"I read another book today, the main idea is the most important thing for people is to know themselves. Know yourself, know what kind of person you are, then you will know the world. You need to learn how to reconcile with yourself, learn how to communicate with yourself, tell yourself when you need to keep going, when to compromise, when you need to understand, when you need to be strong… you need to keep being yourself and convince yourself at certain times."

Meeting Zhou Zi Shu, to Zhang Zhehan is also the process of meeting and knowing himself. "But I’m probably not as mighty as Zhou Zi Shu," he laughed.

He thinks that he’s not at the age of looking back, the things that have happened, just let them go. "There’s nothing to remember in particular, there’s nothing memorable. And my occupation, a lot of people will remember for you, they will remember your good, remember your various moments, so I don’t need to remember. What I need to do now is to live well, my current life, future life, and get into the next role."

"When I can’t act anymore, I think I will look back more."

Now, he wants to challenge a new area, "I really want to act in movies, act in more movies. 40 episodes of acting and 2 hours of acting are different, condensed acting is the quintessence. I still need to learn how to act well in the 2 hours."

And "I hope I can be a director one day."

The beautiful scenery in spring is as deep and wide as the sea, it’s fortunate that we get to meet.

"My occupation, many people will remember every moment of yours."

"Immerse into my next character, and live well - that's what I need to do now. "

Translation by: KIMMYYANG

[taestefully-in-luv]

The Island | KTH (Four)

Summary: You’re just two strangers waking up in a room on a lonely island where a company in the business of love has placed you. They believe that thanks to their in depth research you two are destined soulmates. What happens when your ‘soulmate’ and you want nothing to do with each other but falling in love is the only way to leave?

Pairing: Taehyung x Female reader

Genre: strangers to lovers, very slight enemies to lovers, soulmates au, roommate au, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, slight crack, and drama.

Word Count: 11k

Warnings: swearing, sexual tension (?) implied sex

Notes: this is not a reflection of Taehyung’s art! Just saying lol But anyway, hope you guys like this chapter. Tae and oc sure have a lot of moments huh. let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, or send an ask if just want to chat about the stories!:)

Taglist: @ggukkieland @707sblog @peacedreamer14 @dopedreamfireparty @everythingnamjoon @taebae19 @typicalgenzworld @mooniyooni @getmemyfries @helenazbmrskai @justinetingball @jpeachytaev

© taestefully-in-luv

Previous --- Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Month 4

“What the fuck is that?” You point accusingly towards the paper Taehyung is excitedly holding up.

“What do you mean,” he grins. “It’s you!”

“…throw it away.”

“What?! No! I worked hard on this!”

“I look like a god damn frog.”

“In the painting or in real life becau—"

“THE PAINTING!” You leap towards Taehyung and reach for his atrocious artwork. Can he even call this disaster art? No offense, no actually, full offense but its ugly as hell. Taehyung lifts it high above his head.

“Listen, listen…don’t you think this hurts my feelings a little y/n? I worked hard on th—”

“I swear to God Taehyung…if you don’t burn this—"

“OKAY OKAY! No need to put out threats!” he pouts almost theatrically. You eye him up and down, waiting for him to make a move towards a trashcan but he just stands here.

“Well? Go throw it away.”

“No.”

“No?”

“Yeah, no.”

You close your eyes, pinching the bridge of your nose, “What do you mean no?”

Taehyung narrows his eyes at you and laughs under his breath as he steps closer to you.

“First of all, you don’t tell me what to do. I prefer if it’s the other way around.” He smirks, “And second, I am still going to keep it. For the memories.”

You chew on your lips for a few moments, letting his words sink in. But for the memories?

“For the memories? Why would you want to remember any of this?”

Taehyung frowns at your words, he looks genuinely offended.

“I might not like our situation but…”

“But what?”

“Fuck, don’t make me say it.” He says while turning red. “You know, I still want to make good memories with like, you.” He admits softly.

You finally give in, gently reaching for the awful artwork. Don’t get it wrong, Taehyung’s art is usually so beautiful. He does landscapes and abstract pieces and they absolutely blow you away. But his portraits of people? Disgusting.

“Fine…” You smile down at the painting in your hands then look back at him, “But if I see this hung up anywhere I am burning it myself.” You smirk. “And I will take great pleasure in that.”

“Oooooh please tell me more about your pleasures.” Taehyung wiggles his brows at you.

“You’re the worst.” you smile, “Anyway, do we have a deal?” you stick out your hand for him to shake.

“Deal!” Taehyung cheeses, slapping your hand down and going in for a quick hug instead. You’re surprised to say the least, you kind of guessed Taehyung was the affectionate type but you didn’t expect to be on the receiving end of it. “I’ll be in my art room most the day. Movie night though?”

“Yes, movie night.” you oblige.

“Yay.” He chirps happily, skipping off to his art room down the hall. You can’t help but smile as he disappears from your sight.

But then your heart pinches in your chest. You want to feel happy. Are you just ungrateful? You should be happy. Taehyung is finally being himself around you and you finally feel like you aren’t as alone. But it’s all a façade technically…he’s got no one else, just like you have no one else. In the real world…if you two met would you become friends like this? Or is this all forced? Is your entire friendship fake? You feel your heart sink to the bottom of your stomach, you hate these thoughts.

He’s so different than you thought he would be…he’s lighthearted, he’s funny, he’s silly, he’s talented, he’s human. And don’t even get started on flirty Taehyung…You really thought he was some closed off asshole but as time goes on and he becomes more and more comfortable you see the real him, and you really enjoy it. And you hate that you enjoy it. What are you like? Are you still a brat? Does he still think that? You chuckle to yourself, he probably does. Has he grown so comfortable with you that he’s not as angry about being stuck here with you? No, you imagine he’s still really upset about this whole thing. He just doesn’t voice it to you as much anymore. Maybe he’s avoiding the subject. You can understand why. It’s awkward. This place wants to get you two together but neither of you are interested in the other romantically. You just don’t see it happening.

~~~~~

Taehyung is just relaxing in his room on the verge of a glorious nap, he is finally dozing off, eyes slowly closing when his head snaps up in reaction to a loud crash coming from downstairs. Now what the hell could that be? Panicked, he rushes to his feet. He flies down the stairs in record time trying to find the source of the loud bang. He stands in the living room, glancing around the area for any sign of you. Are you okay? Where are you? Shit. Frustrated, he runs his fingers through his hair and as calmly as possible calls out for you. But nothing. Fuck. Your name slips past his lips in growing panic.

He decides he is going to charge each room in search for you, when he reaches the door to his art studio. He can hear muffled words on the other side of the door.

“Shit. Damn. Fuck.”

He instantly roll his eyes to the back of his head, literally so far back all that’s seen is the white of his eyes.

“Such foul language for such a pretty mouth.” He whispers to himself, slowly creeping the door open, exposing a distracted and distraught you.

“Motherfucker!” you huff, your hands on your hips, eyeing the mess you made. God damn did you make a fucking mess. On the floor is a canvas, brushes scattered and a rainbow of colors splattered all around.

“What. Are. You. Doing.”

Your head whips in his direction, your face turning many shades of reds. He stands at the doorway making his presence known, looking at you expectantly, judgement in his eyes. At least he hopes you can see the judgement in his eyes. Because he is definitely judging like hella hard.

You continue to stand here, your blush deepening. He is too frustrated to find it anything but annoying. You begin to stutter out words he can’t make out. You are trying your best, that much is obvious. You’re trying to explain yourself but he can tell you’re only becoming more and more flustered at the situation. He is sure his annoyed expression doesn’t help your ability to speak. Whoops.

“I-I was…well, you said, well remember you said…” You try. You really try. He almost wants to laugh, but not quite.

“I-I said? I said what?” He keeps his stoic demeanor intact, just stressing you further. He’s almost having fun with this. Almost.

“Well, Taehyung…listen,” you try again. “You said,”

“I said?”

Your eyes scan the room as if there’s something here that will help you.

“Words y/n. I need you to use your words.” He demands, maybe having a little fun stressing you out. He sees your blush become such a deep shade of red that even he feels embarrassed.

Finally, you releases a long breath and words begin spilling out of your mouth.

“You said you wanted to keep that frog picture—“

“Your portrait, you mean.”

“Yes, yes whatever. Anyway, you wanted to keep it for the memories, right? You…you…you’re sentimental like that or whatever.” You pause to take a breath. “And and…”

He raises a brow at you, taking a few steps forward, mindful of the mess you made.

“And?”

You raise your head to look into his eyes. You’re staring so intensely that he wonders where you got this wave of confidence from. He stares back just as seriously. Your eyes are the same as usual, dark, plain, boring. For the most part.

“And…I decided that maybe, that maybe I want to…paint you…too?” you step forward. “You know, for the memories.” You tear your eyes away from him. But he sort of wishes you didn’t.

His brows pinch together at your little idea. You want to paint him ? He studies your face seeing if maybe there’s anything else. You look tense under his gaze, he admits that makes him feel kind of good. Is that mean? You look so incredibly shy, and it is so fucking...something, he doesn’t know what but it’s something. He continues to observe you and your shy expressions.

He looks down at you and breaks into his best shit eating grin, his hand reaches down to ruffle your hair.

“Yes!” he lightly chuckles, “Let’s make lots of memories!”

It looks like you’re in a daze, his reaction catching you off guard, he guesses. Taking a moment to collect yourself, you look up into his eyes again.

“Yeah, lots of ‘em.” your smile slowly begins to fade, “We won’t be here forever, so we have to leave with lots of memories.” you mutter.

Taehyung feels himself go soft at your words.

“y/n…” he slides his fingers down to cup the back of your head, fingers gently massaging your scalp. “When this is all over…we can still be in contact, you know?” Your eyes travel to the floor, eyeing the mess you made. He’s still getting over that.

“I know…but Taehyung, I still feel like I don’t even know basic things about you! Like what even is your favorite, uh, I don’t know, animal? I can’t tell you how long I have been wondering that and—”

“Then let’s have a whole night dedicated to that. Let’s drink some wine, paint some pictures and learn everything there is to know!” he moves his hand forward, his fingers playing at the ends of your hair, “Like, what shampoo did they give you because your hair is soft as fuck.”

You give him an unimpressed look,

“I know you steal my shampoo sometimes, I’m not dumb.”

“Don’t know what you are talking about.” He cheeses.

“But okay,” you grin at him, “Let’s do that.”

“I love Koalas and sloths!” You’re laid out on your stomach, swinging your legs above you while sipping on your red wine.

“You can’t choose two!”

“I just did.”

“Fine. Mine is…drum roll…its…” he pats the floor repeatedly.

“Oh come on! Tell me! I’ve been dying to know!”

“Its…lion!” he lays next to you, resting on his side. He eyes the painting you are working on. It’s supposed to be him…supposed to be.

“I like lions too.” You add more color to the background of the canvas. He can hear the smile in your voice.

“Sheesh…and you think I am bad at drawing people…”

“Stop being a hater!”

“ME?” he stares at you incredulously.

You and Taehyung are a few glasses of wine in already. He can tell its hitting you harder than its hitting him, you’re extra talkative and all giggly. He’s painted a picture of the beach while you’ve worked on a portrait of him, it’s amusing to say the least—the portrait. Pretty quickly glasses turned into bottles. Bottle number 3 has been opened and now he is also talkative and all giggly. He’s a giggly lil thang when he’s drunk, and he is drunk.

“Okay,” he sits up, sitting on his legs. “First impression of me, go!” he laughs, for literally no reason.

“I thought you kidnapped me.” You state plainly, “So like, a creepy person.”

His jaw drops.

“I’m offended!” He lays his hand over his heart. “You thought I was creepy?! And there I was thinking you were just some hot chick I hooked up!” Yes, he called you hot to your face. He is drunk, he is allowed to do that. Yeehaw.

“Okay to be fair, that thought crossed my mind too.”

“That I was some hot chick you hooked up with?”

“I never said hot.”

“But you were thinking it, right right?” he wiggles his eyebrows in the most exaggerated way.

You smirk before chugging back the rest of your wine, reaching for a new bottle.

“Okay, maybe I thought it.” You admit, your sly smile growing.

“Want me to open it?” he gestures towards the wine bottle.

“Please.”

He reaches for the bottle of wine, his hands brushing against yours. He hates that he feels a quiet fire in his insides when he touches you. He hates how when his skin makes contact with your skin there is an automatic heat that lights up and warms him, burns him almost.

“Do you have someone? That you like?” You slur out, curious about Taehyung’s love life.

“…Yes.” Taehyung admits softly.

“I am what they call a ‘Dilf’” Jin states confidently. The rest of the boys share a look of confusion.

“You literally aren’t a dad?” Jimin looks at Jin with a puzzled smile.

“But you can’t tell me I am not a ‘dilf’ though.”

“Okay Jin, you’re a dilf.” Namjoon rolls his eyes, going back to his book.

“I wanna be a dilf too.” Jungkook whines and Taehyung nods his head in agreement. Jin shakes his fingers at the boys and speaks up.

“You have to earn the title.”

“Yeah, by being a dad.” Jimin deadpans.

“Let the man have his dreams.” Yoongi says before putting his ear bud back in his ear and nodding along to whatever song is playing.

“My dream is to finish this assignment.” Hobi groans into his pile of papers on the table.

“This is your fault for going back to school for your masters!” Taehyung teases. He has just recently dropped out of school and he is loving it. He watches as his friend works night after night on paper after paper and Taehyung no longer has to worry about things like that. He can just focus on the music.

“Are you guys using this chair?” Taehyung hears a sweet voice cut off all their chatter. He looks up to see this gorgeous girl with light brown hair that reaches her waist and eyes as bright as the sun.

“Uh, no.” Taehyung clears his throat, “You can take it.”

“Thanks.” She smiles at Taehyung and then at the rest of the boys before she’s dragging the chair to the table next to them.

“Holy shit.” Taehyung whispers to Jungkook, “She’s so pretty.”

“That’s Hana.” Jungkook looks over his shoulder at Hana and her friends. “I have a class with her.”

“Bro, introduce me!” Taehyung begs. “You literally owe me.”

“From what?!”

“I let you fuck that one chick like 2 years ago even though I saw her first.”

“Oh? You let me? Really?” Jungkook rolls his eyes. “But anyway, sure. I’ll introduce you.” He says nonchalantly, picking up his drinking and taking a sip.

“Taehyung?” you wave your hand in front of his blank face. “Taehyung?” “Huh? Yeah?” he starts snapping out of his memories, “what’s up? What did you say?”

“I asked her name.” you smile awkwardly, “The girl you like.”

“Hana.” He quietly clears his throat, “What about you? Do you have someone?”

“After my ex? I am staying away from men for a while.” You laugh, “Like, can you blame me?”

Taehyung can’t help by frown at your words.

“Don’t close yourself off…” Taehyung whispers to you. “You’re too pretty for that.” He slurs out and you blink at him repeatedly.

“I’m pretty?”

Taehyung scoffs and rolls his eyes playfully.

“Like you didn’t know.”

Hours pass you two by, more wine has been drank and you two are giggling like school children. Taehyung is folded over, laughing a storm as you do your best impression of a dolphin. You can’t help but fall over and laugh your head off as well, the alcohol obviously has made you two crazy.

Taehyung finally calms down and looks at you with soft eyes, “So, what’s your biggest fear?” he asks, leaning forward.

“No!” you laugh. Fucking laugh. “Listen, we can go back to our serious convos another day…right now I wanna…” you slur your last words, “wanna talk about fun stuff.” you give him the most sleazy wink he’s ever seen. It kind of works for him though.

“Okay.” He agrees easily, “Tell me the story about how you lost your virginity? Don’t leave anything out”

Your eyebrows shoot up, “Wanna know the dirty details huh?” you part your lips and smile.

“Dirty? I bet it was as vanilla as vanilla gets.”

You frown at his words, “I’m not vanilla. I’m fun, I swear.” you pout.

“I didn’t mean it as boring babe. I just mean you probably lost it to like your high school sweetheart, your first love, blah blah blah. The romantic shit.” You exhale a short breath…babe? You like the new friendly nickname, you admit.

“Actually it’s the opposite.”

“The opposite?”

“First year of college. Random guy from a bar. Total one night stand type of situation. I didn’t even tell him it was my first time. I think he probably just thought I was really inexperienced. “ You laugh to yourself. Sounds like a situation you might regret but there is no bitterness in your tone.

“Oh wow. y/n the cry baby can do one night stands?” he teases.

“I’m full of surprises you know.” The glint in your eye tells him he’s going to find out eventually.

“Well then what are the dirty details?” he pries further, leaning into your space again.

“Hmm, don’t think I am drunk enough for that.”

“Oh, I can grab another bottle of wine.” He teases, “But fine.”

“About your comment about me being vanilla…” you begin but Taehyung is cutting you off with the shake of his head.

“I didn’t mean it bad—”

“Are you into vanilla sex?”

Taehyung’s eyebrows crawl to the top of his forehead and his mouth falls open.

“Why are you asking that?” he breathes out, his eyes darkening.

“They paired us together, you know? We probably have more in common than you think…my guess that means sex too.”

“I know we have that in common.” He smirks, “I’m guessing you never looked in the other room?” he quirks a brow at you. “You might find it interesting.”

“The other room?” you tilt your head to the side, “Oh? The one upstairs next to your bathroom? Yeah, I stuck my head in there once…I saw it’s just another bedroom.”

“Is it really just another bedroom though? You didn’t have a look around?” his sly smile grows on his stupidly handsome face. “Like I said…you might find it interesting.”

“What are you talking about?” you slur, “Why would I…?”

Taehyung rises to his feet, walks towards you and leans down until he’s softly gripping your arm and pulling you up.

“Let’s go explore.” He chuckles, “I want you to see the room.” He’s guiding you out the art room, you two stumbling through the door.

You both begin to make your way upstairs, his hand never leaving your arm as you two walk. You keep bumping into him and he only laughs, squeezing your arm every few moments. You guys walk through the hall until you’re standing outside the bedrooms door.

“Go on.” He looks at you with a smirk, “I want you to explore this bedroom.”

“You’re being weird.” You giggle, opening the door.

And just like you thought, it’s just a bedroom. There’s a large bed in the middle of the room against the wall, and a couple of dressers, a closet, a huge ass mirror and other normal bedroom things.

“And?” You glance at Taehyung.

He looks at you with an amused smile. “Explore.” He commands.

You give him a weird look before walking through the room, your hand slides against the dresser that holds the extra large mirror. You catch your reflection and smile at how drunk you look. Taehyung walks behind you and eyes both of your reflections, he steps close to you and chuckles.

“I like this mirror.” He whispers. “Great view of the bed.”

“Uh yeah?” you look at him through the mirror, “I guess so.”

“Explore the drawers.” His evil grin makes you nervous…you look down at the drawers and open the first one on the left, there’s multiple things inside but you can’t tell what they are. You stick your hand inside and grab the first thing it can find. You pull this object out and bring it closer to your face, your drunken vision making it hard to identify what it is. Then your eyes are expanding and you drop the object in the drawer, the loud thud making you jump.

“What was that?” Taehyung whispers, “Something you know right?”

A dildo. Your eyes scan the rest of the drawer only to see more, along with other toys. You quickly slam the drawer shut and turn around to face Taehyung, who is standing so close behind you.

“What the hell?” you stutter out, turning red.

“That’s not all. Check the closet.” He says quietly, pointing towards the closet. And you listen, you walk forward until you’re standing beside the sliding door. You open it and see various articles of clothing.

Lingerie and outfits. Maid, nurse, etc. You stare at the clothes in disbelief.

“What is all this?” you turn to face Taehyung.

“You tell me.” He says chuckling, “Seems like we like the same stuff.” He shrugs. “Maybe you can,” he walks closer and is touching the maid lingerie, “wear this next you’re cleaning the house.”

He’s teasing you. Your stomach twists and turns, your heart is jumping out of your chest and you feel so fucking warm.

“S-Shut up.” You lean back on the door.

“Oh baby, I think you and I both know who tells who what to do here.” He breathes out, not looking at you as he still plays with the material of more lingerie.

“Taehyung,” you sigh, “The cameras can’t hear you in here.”

“Ah,” he turns to face you, “Right. Should we head back downstairs?”

“Yes.” You slur out, feeling quite dizzy.

Month 5

It’s the bright white screen you know all too well…it has you releasing a shaky breath as you wait for the black letters to eventually appear.

“Hey Taehyung…” you call out for you roommate who is making something to eat in the kitchen. “I think we have an incoming message from our,” You pause, huffing out. “Our little friends.”

“Oh. Oh shit.” You hear Taehyung whine from behind you. “I thought they were finally starting to back off…” he sighs out. “Let’s see what these fuckers want.”

Request:

Skinny dip for 1 hour. Must be within a foot of one another.

Ex-excuse you? Ex-fucking-cuse you? Skinny who what for when what? Your eyes bulge out of your head. This has got to be some sort of joke.

“Hell no!” you yell out, not even sparing Taehyung a glance.

Voice full of panic, Taehyung is quick to bring up the alternative.

“The penalty!” he rushes. “What’s the penalty? We will just do the penalty!”

Penalty:

No power or running water for 3 days.

“No pow—what the fuck?” Taehyung shakes his head, disbelief written all over his face.

“Wait! And no running water? Like, we can’t flush the toilet for 3 days? That’s bullshit!” you drag your hands down your face, “And wont the stuff in our fridge go bad?”

Several long moments pass between you two and not in a cool way. There’s nothing cool about this shit. There’s tension filling the air around you both. Awkward tension.

“Isn’t this too much?” Taehyung finally says, obviously not able to tolerate the silence any longer.

You both exchange worried glances with one another before Taehyung says some shit you don’t like.

“Let’s just do the request.”

Your eyes basically pop out of your head.

“Are you out of your mind—do the requests? How could you say that so easily!” you mumble, feeling your cheeks heat up.

“I feel like it’s the best choice.” He gives his honest answer. “Plus, you’ve never seen a naked man before? We will get over it y/n. Knowing me and you, we will be laughing about it in a couple days.” He finally turns to face you, throwing a wink your way, “You know it’s true.”

You mull over your options and hate that he’s right. You very timidly respond with a quiet ‘okay’ and avoid his eyes. His dark, intimidating eyes.

Your heart is racing, No, that is an understatement; your heart is on the verge of explosion. Your nerves are scattered and pounding from the inside out. You are freaking out. Naked with Taehyung? And he seems cool as a fucking cucumber.

“Let’s meet outside once it’s completely dark out.” You suggest.

“Read my mind.”

“…Of course I did, we’re” you roll your eyes. “Soulmates.” you laugh bitterly to yourself, “anyway, I’ll just see you tonight.”

“So you’re just going to avoid me until tonight?” Taehyung asks, “It’s not like they’re asking us to fuck.” He sways on his feet, “Just keep your eyes on my eyes and we will be fine.”

“Right.” You choke out, “Because it’s that easy.”

“Are you saying it’s impossible not to check me out?” he teases and you feel your cheeks heat up.

“Shut up.”

“Brat.”

Night fall approaches sooner rather than later. You wish it would have taken a million years to appear but nope, here you are. You stand outside with Taehyung in front of you. You’re in an oversized t shirt and loose shorts, keeping it simple since they’re coming off anyway. Taehyung wears his usual sweats and a white tee. You two are standing next to the pool, knowing the time has finally come. After leaving Taehyung earlier this afternoon, you took a much needed nap to clear your head.

“Don’t let your eyes linger.” You mumble, nodding your head in his direction.

“Ha, I was going to say the same thing to you.” He pokes his tongue out. Taehyung looks fucking comfortable as fucking always. Like, this doesn’t bother him in the least.

Luckily, the tension is tolerable. So you decide to make the first move. You begin unbuttoning your shorts—

“Woah! Woah! Woah! Wait!” he yells. His arms flailing, trying to stop you.

You scrunch your nose in annoyance, “What?” you ask, not too pleased since you are just trying to get this over with. If you got told 5 months ago that you would be in a hurry to get naked in front of this guy you would ugly laugh. Yet here you are.

“It’s just-it’s just…we should go at the same time.” Taehyung rushes to say.

“Oh, okay. Pants first, let’s go—”

“No! that’s awkward.” He shakes his head, “shirt first.”

“Okay, okay.” You oblige, “weirdo” You whisper loud enough that he can hear you.

The two of you begin with your tops, you try to focus your eyes elsewhere but they naturally skim the skin of his chest and abdomen as his shirt comes off quickly. Taehyung doesn’t even try to look away as you undress, his dark, intimidating stare causing you to feel chills. You slip off your pink t shirt, exposing your bare torso that is laced with a pretty black bralette. His gaze doesn’t waver.

“Okay, next is our bottoms right?” You gulp. He only nods.

You continue the job on unbuttoning your shorts, letting them fall to your feet exposing your matching black panties. Yes, you wore a sexy matching set on purpose. If he’s going to see you like this why wouldn’t you want to look good? You would do that for anybody. You can feel him eyeing you as he slips off his sweats, leaving him in nothing but a pair of blue briefs.

Finally, you are left in nothing but your underwear. You eye him over, his body is so fucking nice it makes you feel bad for even standing next to him. His briefs are a light blue, leaving little to the imagination. You can literally see the outline of his—you know what. Is he sporting a semi, right now? You do an up and down of your own body when you realize you have more clothes than him!

“Hey this is unfair!” You whisper, covering your chest with your arm. “I have to strip my bra off and you what, just get to watch?”

“Oh? So I am allowed to watch?” he responds playfully. It’s that same teasing tone you’re still trying to get used to.

“Well, you’re obviously going to see…” You grumble, lowering your arm. “Welp, here goes.”

Taehyung swallows rather hard, his eyes trailing your body pretty shamelessly. You reach in front of you, unhooking the bralette and letting the straps fall off your shoulders before letting the whole thing fall to the ground.

“Uh, okay.” Taehyung clears his throat. “Now our underwear.”

“Right.” You say while reaching for the band of your panties, pulling it back a bit and letting it go, the material slapping against your hips. You swear you see his dick move at that.

“Okay.” Taehyung’s breathing is heavier than before, “On 3? 1…2..”

“3!” you shout in unison.

You both begin stripping away your last piece of clothing. You’re the first to be fully undressed. You let your panties drag down leg by leg until they join the pile of clothes at your feet. It’s not that you’re trying to do this in a sexy manner, but if it comes across sexy—then so be it. Taehyung pauses mid action, his eyes scanning your body again. God, you are starting to get really nervous again. His gaze absolutely thrills you, you can admit that. You’d live a life of torture to have him stare at you like this all the time. You see him lick his lips then shake his head. You didn’t just imagine that right?

“Hurry up.” You plead.

Taehyung finally drags off his briefs. By the looks of it he looks mostly hard, as his cock springs free. Holy Fuck. Your last ex—Ben—was not this…blessed. Taehyung has every right to be as cocky as he wants, he’s earned it. His dick is long in length but he also seems to have girth. How is one man blessed this much? You would have to have your hand wrapped around it—or your lips—to really know how thick he is. Jesus fucking Christ, what are you saying? You think your best excuse is that you are dick deprived. Also…how long have you been staring? You will say long enough by the look Taehyung is giving you. It’s that shit eating grin that just screams he is one cocky bastard.

“Okay,” you clear your throat, forcing yourself to look into Taehyung’s eyes. “Let’s get in the pool.”

“You got the timer?” Taehyung chuckles.

“It’s laying on the ledge.” you point at it, walking closer to the pool. “Ready?” you look up at him, waiting for his response.

“You look beautiful by the way.” He says out of nowhere. “I mean, as always.” He winks.

You blush pretty fucking hard at that, you can feel all the heat rush to your cheeks, lighting you on fire.

“Are you-are you ready or what?” you grumble.

“Always.” He grins, reaching for you hand. “Let’s go.”

You two tip toe into the water, pausing every few seconds to get use to the temperature of the water. You stop once the water reaches your collarbones, you walk towards the wall, lean against it and face forward. You turn the timer on and you both exchange a few words but you remain mostly quiet, You don’t think either of you know what to say. Every minute that passes (about 15 to be exact) has your nerves spiking.

You hear Taehyung sigh deeply as he inches closer towards you. Now why would he do that? He inches so close that your shoulders are touching, he sinks a little further into the water and then surprising you, he rests his head on your shoulder. What the fuck is he doing?

“We can have a foot of space between us.” You remind him awkwardly.

Taehyung remains quiet, you only hear his soft breaths.

“Taehyung?”

“You know how hard it is going to be to get the image of you naked out of my head?” He whispers with a chuckle.

“Don’t start using me as masturbation material.” You joke, your eyes looking out at the water. It’s calm and bright from the lights inside the pool.

“Start? You think you haven’t entered my mind before?” he jokes back. At least you think he’s joking.

“Stop playing.” You laugh awkwardly.

Taehyung is quiet again and you can feel the tension that always visits you two starting to build.

“Do you…have you…have you thought about me before?” you manage to slip out, surprising yourself.

“You’re asking if I’ve—”

“If you’ve thought about me when you have ‘alone’ time’ ya know?”

“Do you think I haven’t?” he lifts his head and stares at you. “y/n…I’m a guy. And you’re kind of the only person I see.”

Oh. It’s not like I see anyone else. His last words repeat in your mind. Of course, that makes sense. He’s stuck with you, of course you’ve entered his mind, probably against his will or whatever.

“I see.” You say softly. You step to the side, getting further from him and he frowns.

You two stand here, barely speaking. Maybe another 20-30 minutes pass when Taehyung dramatically huffs out.

“Listen y/n…about earlier.” Right earlier. When you made a fucking fool of yourself. Asking your friend is he has ever jacked off to you before! Before he can continue you slap a finger over his pouting lips, shushing him.

“Do you really think now is the time?”

“We have time to kill—”

“—okay! So let’s talk about something else!” you happily offer.

But you guess Taehyung isn’t having it, he steps closer and rests his head on your shoulder again, his breathing picking up. Why is he breathing so hard?

“Just hear me out, okay?”

You only stare ahead, exhaling deeply. What to do…maybe there’s no harm in hearing him out, right? Oh wait there is harm! The feeling of fucking rejection. Why does it feel like rejection? You don’t know. Why the fuck you care? You don’t know that either. But he’s fucking sulking, like a baby. You thought you were the baby here? You guess he needs to have a turn every now and then…

“fine.”

“You probably,” he sinks in the water just a little deeper, “hate me, right?” you don’t hate him…”Me, your friend, has had dirty thoughts about you, yada yada,” he closes his eyes.

“ wait what—” This is because he has had dirty thoughts about you?

“So about what I said…I’m sorry…���

“Taehyung it’s fine,” you rush to say in embarrassment, “I don’t know why I asked! Seriously, it was stupid. I crossed a li—”

“Wait why did you ask?” That’s when you freeze. Yeah why did you ask?

“Uh…”

“Why?” he stands up straighter, his head tilted towards you.

“I was just curious Taehyung.” you defend. “It’s not that deep.”

“Curious? About me?” he raises he brow, he pauses while thinking over his words. “Like, sexually?” he finishes, caution in his voice.

Fuck. What did you get yourself into?

“Taehyung…I already said it was stupid. Plus,” you decide to be bold again, “Hearing it was only because I’m the only one here or whatever didn’t do great things for my ego.”

“Wait—” you hear him stifle a chuckle. “That’s what you’re mad about?”

“Well…” you drag out the word with a pout. You don’t mean to be such a baby yet here you are.

“Wow! I thought you were mad because I’ve thought about you impurely, not because it wasn’t a good enough reason why…wow.” He laughs! He’s basically laughing at you!

“Well?”

“Oh my God, y/n. You’re joking right? I can’t just say I have the hots for my friend now can I? That’ll just—”

“Do you?” your voice is much smaller and quieter than you anticipated, like it barely escaped. Taehyung stays quiet for a second too long that it makes you ten times as nervous.

“Are you…” Taehyung looks at you with a look on his face you can’t quite place, “I’m naked in a pool with you right now and I am going crazy. Absolutely crazy.” Taehyung sighs out heavily, a frown taking over his face. “You’re ability to be so naïve just…baffles me.” He admits, defeated.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re a beautiful girl y/n. Of course my mind has wandered. It doesn’t mean I—fuck. It doesn’t mean anything deep or anything like that. But yes, being with you and your fanfuckingtastic tits is giving me some trouble.” He says darkly. “And don’t think I haven’t noticed you checking me out either.” He smirks. “We are human.” He finishes.

A long, deafening silence accompanies you both. Its sitting in the water between your bodies. Just lingering, waiting for one of you to break it in half and drown it in this very pool. But no, it remains. And that person won’t be you. But several minutes have passed by and he is still fucking quiet. Maybe you should be the one to say something? You’re about to you swear , but you hear Taehyung grumble something under his breath.

“What’s that?” you say.

“I said, it’s only fair if I ask too.” Ask what? Oh. Wait. That?

“Ask what?” you ask, pretending you don’t know.

“You know what.”

“Nope.” you say, popping the ‘p’.

“y/n.” “I’m not answering that.”

“Come on.” He leans his face towards your neck, his breaths hitting your wet skin. “It’s only fair.”

“Okay.”

“Okay what?” he pushes on. “Come on y/n, have you thought about me when you get yourself off or not?” he asks, his voice really low. How does he get his voice so deep? Fuck, it sends a shiver down your spine.

“Maybe once or twice I have thought about you too.” You admit, feeling a rush of adrenaline as the words leave your mouth.

“Once or twice?” he repeats lowly, “What did you think about?” his words crawl on the side of your neck as they leave his mouth.

“I’m not answering that.”

“I want you to tell me.” He sounds so breathless while being so demanding.

“Nope.”

“You’re no fun.” He chuckles. “Aren’t you curious about what I think about?”

“Not really.” You lie. “Don’t worry about my imagination. It’s the only action I’m getting anyway.” You laugh.

“When’s the last time you had sex y/n? Please tell me it wasn’t with your ex…”

“Yeah it was.” You admit and Taehyung pushes his head back, not liking you admission.

“Why haven’t you?” he asks.

“I felt so betrayed Taehyung…it’s sort of hard to trust anyone after that.” You sigh, “He hurt me bad. I’m…”

“You’re what?”

“I just don’t feel comfortable.” You say softly, “I don’t think I will for a while.”

“I see…I’m so sorry. I wish that didn’t happen to you.”

“It’s in the past now.”

Ben holds you close as he comes, his hands leaving behind their marks on your body from how tightly he holds you.

“Fuck yes.” He groans, “Did you come?” he asks quickly, breathing hard into your neck.

“It’s okay.” You sigh out, “As long as you feel good.”

“I felt amazing honey.” He kisses the side of your neck over and over. “Shit, we gotta get going. We’ll be late for work.”

“Do we really have to take separate cars?” you whine.

“Just for now babe.” He promises, lifting himself off your body, leaving your pussy aching for more.

“Okay…”

~

“He look so handsome today as usual…” you hear Layla talking to some of the other girls. “I’m telling you…he’s going to ask me out. He’s been eyeing me lately and complimenting me.” She gushes, catching your interest.

“Who?” you ask, setting your belongings down on your desk.

Layla turns to face you, waves her hand and smiles.

“Ben.”

Ben? Like your Ben? Her boss Ben?

“Ben who?” you blink at her and the other girls laugh.

“Obviously the only Ben we know!” Layla giggles and you feel your chest tighten.

“You think he’s going to ask you out?”

“Yes girl! He comes to my desk a few times day, calls me gorgeous, so on and so forth.” Layla says quietly so only you girls can hear. You feel your heart drop.

“I don’t think so.” You speak up. “Ben wouldn’t. He’s already seeing someone.”

“Oh really? Who?” Layla scrunches her brows together, “Because—”

“Me.” You blurt. “He and I are…”

The other girls stop their giggling and look at you with shocked eyes.

“There’s no way.” One of them says.

“y/n, are you serious?” Layla blushes, feeling a little embarrassed now.

“Yes, for months now.” you admit. “But we weren’t telling anyone…yet.”

“Wow! I can’t believe this!” another girl says, her hand coming to her mouth.

You then in a hush hush voice tell the group of girls yours and Bens story. You tell them how he pursued you, you finally agreed and how you two have been dating for over 6 months. They gush and gasp and giggle. It feels good to finally tell people, you think.

But unfortunately for you, it wasn’t good at all.

“y/n?” Taehyung knocks you out of your daze. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Fine.” You sigh, feeling weak. “I’m okay.”

Taehyung looks at you with pity, his eyes full of it. He stands tall and floats until he’s standing in front of you.

“I’m going to hug you.” He states calmly, “I really need to hug you.”

“Taehyung…” you step back until your back hits the ledge. “Now isn’t really appropriate.”

“I don’t care. I’ve already seen you naked.” He says nonchalantly. “C’mere.” He opens his arms wide for you and you shake your head.

“I said, c’mere.” He inches closer and closer. “Or I’m coming to you.”

“Taehyung.” You whine, but you let him get closer to you.

His wet arms reach out for you, he’s gripping your shoulders first before his hands easily slide down your arms until they’re under water holding on to your waist.

“C’mere.” He repeats. And you slowly inch closer towards him, your arms hesitantly circling around his middle. And then he’s pulling you in to his chest…he sighs when he feels your budding nipples graze his skin, he sighs when he feels the fullness of your breasts being pushed into him, he sighs when he feels you.

You release a long breath as you hug him, maybe you needed this. This type of human contact. You pull back and look up into Taehyung’s dark eyes, he’s already gazing at you.

“Thanks.” You mumble.

“I think of you because you’re cool. And really pretty.”

“Huh?” Why is Taehyung suddenly complimenting you?

“When I’m—you know. I think of you because you’re cool and really pretty. I could think of anyone ya know? That’s how an imagination works. But I still think about you.”

You’re sure your face is a dark crimson, with how hard you are blushing. How are you supposed to take this new information?

“W-Well,” You find it hard to look into his eyes. “I guess, same.”

“Because I’m pretty?” his tone is lighter all the sudden, you roll your eyes.

“What do you think? Timer should be going on any minute now.” Taehyung throws a glance over his shoulder towards the timer.

“Hmm…” You turn, reaching for the timer, your wet hands getting ahold of it. “Less than 5 minutes.” You read it.

“Oh.” He sings, “If you have a secret, share it now!” Taehyung chuckles into the water, his lips creating bubbles on the surface.

“You want to know even more about me?” You stand a little taller, the water reaching the tops of your breasts. You see Taehyung’s eyes linger for a second before meeting your eyes again. “If you wanna know anything, just ask.” You reach your arms over your head, releasing a yawn.

“Okay…” He places his fingers on his chin, “It’s about me though.” He stops, his fingers dragging down his neck. “Ah, never mind.”

“What?”

“No, it’s weird.”

“Aren’t we passed weird?” you giggle.

“No, it’s really weird.” He sighs out, sinking down into the water until his head is fully under.

You watch as he rises back up, the water cascading down his golden skin, the water from his hair dripping onto his shoulders.

A few moments pass, Taehyung stands here thinking to himself while you just shamelessly watch. You watch as he chews on the inside of his cheek, his eyes upward, scanning the stars. He hums some tune to himself, deep in thought. Honestly, you love when he does this. He looks so…good. Not in a sexual way, you swear. He just looks so him. So Taehyung. He goes from chewing on his cheek to his bottom lip, his teeth digging into the plump flesh. You gulp, God he has no idea how good he looks like this.

“Well?” You ask impatiently. Trying to wave away any more of those thoughts you were just having.

Taehyung releases his bottom lip from his teeth as his lips form into a pout, his eyes closing.

“I’m thinking…”

“Less thinking, more asking.” You feel way too curious about whatever it is he wants to say. And the minutes are passing you by.

Taehyung opens one eye to look at you, he exhales, and faces you.

“Does it sound like I’m in love with Hana?” he says quietly.

“W-What? You’ve only really brought her up once…”

“But when I talked about her did it seem like I have deep feelings for her?”

“She thinks I only like the idea of her” Taehyung mumbles to Jimin and Namjoon. “She doesn’t think I like her as much as I say? Which is so stupid!”

“Isn’t she right though?” Jimin asks with a frown, “You only ever talk about how pretty she is…”

“Jimin means you don’t really have that much in common with her, do you?” Namjoon questions softly. “You don’t…you don’t seem as into as you have been in the past. Are you sure you actually like her?”

Taehyung stares at his friends in disbelief, not believing his ears for one second.

“What are you guys talking about? I fucking like her.” He grits out.

“Are you sure you aren’t just lonely—”

“I don’t want to hear this.” Taehyung stands up from the couch, “I’m going to go see her.”

~

Taehyung makes it to Hana’s apartment but her roommate answers the door and frowns when she sees Taehyung,

“Yes?”

“Uh, I’m here to see Hana.” He gestures inside the apartment.

“Right…” the roommate stands off to the side and lets Taehyung in. “She’s in her room.”

Taehyung walks through the apartment and down the hall until he’s knocking on Hana’s door. She opens it quickly, hugging him and pulling him inside.

“Hey you.” She smiles at Taehyung and he smiles back with his teeth.

“Hi.”

“What brings you here?”

“Just came to hang out, maybe watch a movie?” Taehyung sways from side to side, trying to not make this awkward.

“Sure, you can choose the movie.” She goes to her desk, grabs her lap top and gestures towards her bed. “We can watch in my bed.” She says shyly.

“G-Good idea.”

~

“So how did you like it?” Taehyung asks excitedly. ‘Castaway on the Moon’ just finished and he is so happy he got to show her his favorite movie.

“Honestly?” she chuckles awkwardly, “I didn’t really like it.” She admits. “it was weird.”

“It’s not weird! It’s amazing,” he pouts and she giggles.

He does feel really disappointed that she doesn’t like his favorite movie…is that a red flag? No, he’s just being dramatic, he thinks.

“Next time I’ll choose the movie.” Hana cuddles closer to Taehyung. “Okay?”

“Sure.”

“Taehyung…” you begin, “Where is this coming from?”

“She doesn’t think—my friends too—don’t think we have a lot of chemistry. That I’m forcing myself to like her, but that’s not true! But sometimes I feel confused. And I thought I could get an outside opinion.” He admits, “But this was stupid you don’t have to answer.”

You can tell him you believe in his feelings or you can tell him you don’t think he’s even talked about her enough that you take his feelings seriously. But will that hurt him?

“I—”

Beep beep beep beep beep beep.

The fire place is turned on, creating a safe and cozy atmosphere. The gas lit flames burn a hole in the tension that fills the room. What sort of tension? Not sure.

Taehyung and you are sat comfortably on the sofa, sitting with crossed legs facing one another, your knees just barely touching. A bowl of popcorn rests between you and blankets wrapped around your bodies. Separate blankets, of course.

Taehyung and you have decided to move the party inside (with clothes: on) and continue talking.

The ringing of the timer didn’t completely ruin your conversation only delaying it.

“And I don’t know,” he takes a handful of popcorn and stuffs it in his mouth. “I think we would make a cute couple.”

“Yeah but like I asked, what sorts of things do you two talk about? Not if you guys are a cute couple.”

“We talk.” He states.

“Okay…about?”

“Stuff.”

“You aren’t helping your case.” You sigh out, biting your lip. “I want to believe in your feelings Taehyung but…”

“I know.” He cuts you off, “I know.”

“So why are you forcing it?” you reach for some popcorn yourself, “Why do you want to like her so bad?”

“I don’t know….” He admits softly, “I really don’t know.”

“You’re unsure of your feelings.” You say bluntly. “That’s what it seems like.”

“Maybe I am.” He wraps the blanket around his shoulders tighter. “I’m like you…I don’t know what love is.”

“And just like me, you’ll find it someday.” You promise him with a sweet smile. “Right?”

“You will for sure.” He breathes out, “I think I’m a ….”

“A?”

“God, I don’t even want to say it.” He throws his head in his hands. “But I think I am a hopeless romantic.”

“I just want some cute love story with a cute girl. And Hana is perfect.”

“But does she thrill you? Challenge you? Make you laugh?”

“She’s…” fuck, he doesn’t even know. Does he even know Hana that well?

“Hey y/n…” Taehyung looks up at you, his eyes finding yours and you shrink in your spot.

“Yes?”

“Can we watch my favorite movie? I’m curious what you might think about it.” He gazes at you and you nod your head slowly.

“Sure Taehyung.”

“Also, you can call me Tae.”

~

“Holy fuck.” You sob into your hands. “The fucking noodles.”

Taehyung looks over at you with a soft smile as he has his own tears falling down his face.

“I know right?”

“He finally felt like he had purpose Tae,” you look at him with a pathetic scrunched up face, tears still leaving your eyes.

“EXACTLY!” Taehyung wails, “EXACTLY!”

“This movie was amazing, and how everything turned out...wow…and how she…and he…my goodness. I’m still crying.”

“I told you!! I am so glad you enjoyed it.” He moves closer to you on the sofa without thinking.

“Only lame people wouldn’t like this movie!” you basically yell out and Taehyung scoots even closer, his shoulder bumping yours. But you barely notice, still too invested in the movie.

“Yeah.” He agrees with a smile. “You really must be my soulmate.” He jokes with an awkward smile. “No one else really likes this movie.”

“Ha-Ha.” You roll your eyes, “But anyway, that’s crazy since it was so good.”

“Stop praising it or I’ll have to marry you.” He jokes again and you start turning a rosy pink.

“Stop.” You whine, swatting his shoulder.

“Let’s call it a night, yeah?”

You and Taehyung clean up the kitchen and living room and head upstairs for the night, he walks you to your bedroom door and lingers.

“Tonight was crazy. I saw you naked.” He brings up the request and you go redder than red.

“We can literally never talk about it again…”

“Am I allowed to think about it at least?” he winks, his voice low and making you feel tense.

“Goodnight Taehyung.”

~~~~~~~~

Month 6

Today is one of those days…Taehyung is in a bad mood and you’re being a brat. He hates how much you’ve been teasing him today…he is sorting through his feelings for Hana but you insist on walking around with small shorts and low cut tank tops, claiming it’s ‘hot’. He finally has you cornered though, he’s finally had enough. He’s got you pushed up against a wall, his face so close that your breaths mingle with one another.

“You’re really pushing me today…” Taehyung leans closer, his warm breath fanning over your face. “Today’s not the day y/n.” he warns.

“How am I pushing you? I’m literally not doing anything.” You jut your bottom lip out and look to the side.

“You’re being…such a fucking tease.” He decides to say, “Which is giving me a real headache.” He leans down, his arms on either side of your body.

“So I give you a headache?” Your eyes look up into his and you smirk. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

“You are real annoying, you know that?” he can’t help but chuckle, but then he’s exhaling a deep breath and rolling his eyes. “Ask for forgiveness.”

“Ask for forgiveness?” you scoff. “Seriously? And what am I asking forgiveness for?”

“You’re lucky I’m not telling you to beg.”

“Beg?” you scoff again. “Who do you think you—”

“y/n.” his dark eyes gaze into yours. His hand slides down the wall and then it’s at your waist. He pulls you in and leans his head down closer to your face, you feel the lump in your throat grow as you ty to swallow it down.

“Y-Yes?”

“Ask for forgiveness.” He tells you again, this time much more softly.

“And if I don’t?” You stare up at him and he chuckles.

“Do you really want to find out?” his gaze doesn’t waver as he looks at you…the way he stares at you makes you feel bare in front of him, like he’s stripping you of your clothes, of your skin, everything.

“And if I do?” you whisper. “What happens if I do?”

Taehyung narrows his eyes at you as he licks his lips repeatedly…you’re really testing him aren’t you? He can’t tell if you’re toying with him because of the cameras or if it’s because you’re a brat.

“y/n.” he says your name like the sound of a slow breath. It feels intimate, the way he calls out for you. You can’t help but gulp as you blink up at him.

“Y-Yes?”

“You want to beg, don’t you?” he smirks, he pokes his tongue out as he eyes you. You can see the amusement in his eyes. “You want to…” the words are dying on his tongue because what can he say? Everything he wants to say would probably be deemed as inappropriate.

“I want to what?” you tilt your head up, your eyes scanning the entirety of his face and he leans further into your space.

“Just do as I say, tell me you’re sorry and we can move on.”

“Do as you say?” you lean back until your head is lightly hitting the wall, “You think I would really listen to you?”

“Such a brat.” His hand doesn’t let go of your waist as he leans back as well. “Why do I deal with this? And yes,” he rolls his head back. “I think you would very much enjoy listening to me.” He pauses and bites his lip. “If this company really thinks we’re a match made in heaven then I am sure you can assume what I mean.”

You silently gasp, a blush painting itself brightly on your cheeks.

“Ah,” he leans in again, “So you do know what I mean.”

“Taehyung,” you mumble, “Sometimes your flirting for the camera is too much.” You whisper quiet enough the cameras can’t hear.

Taehyung leans down until his mouth is at the shell of your ear and you can hear the smirk.

“Who says it’s for the cameras?” he leans away from you again, he finally drops his hand from your waist and is about to turn to leave when your hand flies to his shirt.

“Wait.” You blurt out, “I’ll…” you look off to the side. “I’ll say sorry”

“Oh?” Taehyung looks amused to say the least, “Go ahead, then.”

“Only if you tell me what’s wrong today.”

“It’s nothing.”

Your hand goes from the middle of his shirt to his shoulder and you look up at him with big, doe eyes as he blinks down at you over and over.

“What?” he whispers.

“Please.” You whisper back, “I’ll be good,” you promise in a low voice.

Taehyung feels his chest get warm, the heat traveling from there to his toes. He looks at you with his serious expression and softens.

“You are good.” He breathes out. His gaze intense as he stares into your eyes.

“Then…” you pause. Taehyung keeps his eyes on your eyes until he’s not. His eyes slowly travel down your face until he’s staring at your lips. He notices how plump they look, how your tongue darts out to wet them. He feels himself being drawn closer to you, leaning in further and further.

“…Taehyung.” You say breathlessly and Taehyung blinks repeatedly, clearing his throat as he leans back again.

“Fine, don’t apologize. Brat.” And he’s stepping away from you and you watch his back as he walks away.

Taehyung. Is. Such. A. tease. And it drives you absolutely insane. You’re sure the company that watches you is having the times of their lives as you suffer. Why does he have to go this far? It only makes you want to challenge him and go even further yourself. There was a moment, right? Where he acted like he was going to kiss you? Of course he wouldn’t actually do that. This is just for show but god, it still drives you nuts.

Taehyung rushes to his bedroom, slamming the door shut as he rests against it. What the hell is wrong with him? He’s just frustrated. He misses Hana. But why do you have to be so infuriating and you know, hot. And it makes him angry. He wasn’t actually going to kiss you, of course. But there was a moment of strange tension that he…he can’t describe. Taehyung slides down the door, falling to the ground. He remembers his first kiss with Hana, it was sweet and nice but like, he doesn’t remember it being intense not like how it feels when he gets close to you.

“Taehyung!” Hana giggles as she pats his back as she’s thrown over his shoulder. “Put me down!”

“Never!” Taehyung laughs just as much as he runs around in circles. “Ugh, so heavy though.” He jokes.

“Hey!” Hana hits his back, “Come on, put me down.” Her giggles softly relax and he’s setting her down back on the ground, her feet finally planted on the ground as she keeps her arms loosely thrown around his neck.

“You really love carrying me.”

“Holding you is fun.” He smiles, “And you’re not actually heavy. Actually you weigh nothing.”

“Yeah, right.” She playfully rolls her eyes.

“So.” Taehyung chuckles awkwardly, looking into Hana’s eyes.

“So…” she steps closer to him, tightening her hold around her neck. “We’ve been hanging out a lot …” she flutters her lashes, “And..”

“And?”

“I kind of want you to kiss me.”

“Oh.” Taehyung’s eyes widen. He was not expecting that. He smiles at her and nods his head. “Yeah, I can do that.” He teases, leaning in until his lips are against hers. He pulls back but she pushes herself forward to kiss him more and he sighs in her mouth, loving the feel of her lips.

“We should do that more often.” Taehyung breathes out and Hana giggles.

Taehyung groans into his hands, recalling his memories. He does miss Hana but he feels like every time he thinks of her…he somehow is also thinking about you too. But it’s not like he’s thinking of you like that but yeah, you’re on his mind. And he’s got to chill out. He stands up from the floor and walks to his bed, throwing himself on it with a bounce. He’s still so frustrated. He recalls dinner yesterday, how he…

“I’m staring at you because you have sauce on your lips.” Taehyung says from across the dining room table.

“Should I get it for you?” he teases, standing up from his chair, the sound of it screeching against the floor makes you flinch.

“No, no.” you shake your head, “I can do it myself.”

“What if I want to help you though?” Taehyung tilts his head with innocent eyes. “I’ll clean you up.”

“Tae—”

Taehyung walks to your side of the table and bends down until his face is level with your face, he smiles at you and raises his thumb up to your lips. His thumb brushes across your bottom lip slowly, the heat of his finger making you sigh out. He leans in closer as he finishes wiping the sauce off your mouth. When he finishes he takes a moment to look into your eyes like he’s searching them for something. He’s not sure what though. You feel yourself being hypnotized by his gaze, you, yourself stare back at him just as deeply…you think he’s going to lean away any second but instead he brings his hand between your faces and brings his thumb to his mouth. His thumb pushes past his lips and he’s licking it clean, the action purposely agonizingly slow.

“There. Got it.” He breathes out, “All clean.”

Your eyes widen just the slightest…he’s a tease. A fucking tease.

Taehyung’s eyes light up in amusement when he watches how you flush under his hard stare and he starts laughing.

“W-What?” you spit out, your embarrassment has you stabbing your food with your fork. “What’s funny?”

“You.” He says with a grin, the air is starting to thin out as he laughs. “You make me laugh.”

“Glad I can entertain.” You roll your eyes.

You’re so…fuck, you’re so sexy. Taehyung has been wanting to admit that for a while, but god, he has to really fucking control himself. But he’s trying to keep these thoughts at bay because he needs to figure out what he’s doing about Hana.

He lays here thinking of all the moments he has flirted with you for the camera, he groans into his pillow when he has the hardest realization. Is it really for the camera? The tension between you two is so fucking thick, the air is suffocating, making it hard to breathe. The intensity…the thrill. You are the only one who makes him feel like his world is burning with a passionate fire. Hana is nice but you? You’re you and he’s realizing how much he likes that.

He’s realizing a lot. It’s been 6 months and he thinks he is ready to admit that this is beyond what he signed up for. He signed on to get along, but this? This is a whole other journey he’s going on.

Taehyung sits up in bed, his face gone pale as he makes his realizations. His mouth hangs open as his mind races. Does Taehyung just want to fuck you? Or….does Taehyung like you?

Suddenly, there’s soft knocking on his bedroom door, his head snaps in that direction and he knows it’s you—well duh, who else would it be? He scrambles off the bed and he’s opening the door. You’re wearing yoga pants and a long sleeve shirt now with an innocent smile on your face.

“I turned the AC down.” You say. “Now I won’t make your life hard by wearing hardly any clothes.” You’re teasing him and he’s going wild for it.

“Oh really?” he breathes out, “Are you going to say sorry?” he teases back, his breathing picking up.

“Should I ask for forgiveness?” you mock him and he raises a brow at you.

“I’m going to make you beg y/n.” he says lowly, “Keep this up and I’ll be carrying you to the other bedroom.”

Your smile drops at his words. What does he mean by that? He’s taking the acting too far…

“You ever begged before baby?” He walks closer to you, making you uneasy. You step backward further into the hall and sigh out.

“Maybe.”

“From now on, you’ll only ever do it for me.” He says so low, that you barely hear him. But you do hear him and you shudder.

“Taehyung.” You warn softly, you push him by the shoulders, backing him into his bedroom. Once inside you close the door and look at him expectantly.

“What?” he rolls his eyes at you.

“You’re being too much…” you whisper. “But fuck, I gotta admit you’re good.” You breathe out roughly, “It almost feels real.”

“I wasn’t kidding earlier.” Taehyung walks towards you, his hand reaching out to touch the ends of you hair, “Who says this is for the cameras?”

You glance up at him, clearly confused.

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh y/n.” Taehyung feels his heart start to race. “This just got a lot more interesting.”

[kookingtae]

falling into you (pt. 8) PREVIEW

pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7

→scenario: Jungkook’s innocence is like a breath of fresh air in your wild life, and though you know you’re toxic for him, you just can’t seem to stay away.

→genre: college au, slow burn, mutual pining, shy/nerd jk + bad girl oc (mature themes)

→a/n: so i’m not finished with pt 8 yet, since it’s such a climactic chapter it’s taking a bit longer than i anticipated unfortunately BUT i dont want u guys to think ive forgotten about it!!! i know u all are waiting so patiently, and i cannot thank you enough from the bottom of my heart <3 i hope this preview keeps you excited for what’s to come!

Jungkook could never face Y/N again.

God, how could he, knowing that he’d not only finished in five minutes like a pubescent teenager, but also in his pants while she was on top of him?

Embarrassment didn’t even begin to describe the mortification he felt. He’d never wanted the earth to swallow him whole as much as he did in that moment. Sure, he was aware of his slight social anxiety, the way he was constantly looking to bolt from uncomfortable situations—but this was different entirely. This was new territory for him; he’d never done anything remotely sexual with someone else, period, much less with the girl who hung the stars, moon, and sun in his eyes. What was he supposed to do? There was nowhere to escape to in his own bedroom, no running away from his problems that made him uncomfortable. No, he had to stand there with his head down and his crotch dripping wet while he practically begged her to leave. He had never been so ashamed of himself. He had never felt so pathetic.

But then Y/N surprised him like she never failed to do: she’d given him reassurance, another kiss even, while telling him that she actually enjoyed the experience—went so far as to say it was the best in her life. Now he knew she was lying to spare his feelings. Of all the men Y/N had been with, there was no way a virgin cumming untouched in his pants was the best of them. She was cruel to make him believe otherwise, to give him false hope.

He wouldn’t allow himself to think any differently. He couldn’t allow himself to get hurt.

Which was why he made it his mission to avoid her at all costs—something he’d gotten very good at over the past few months, and the past few weeks, specifically.

But in the same way he’d learned from the patterns of her daily routine and used them as a means to remain hidden, she’d also learned his and utilized them to her advantage as well. It was the only explanation as to how he was turning a corner inside the art building (about to take the rear exit, since she usually waited for him out front) and suddenly she was standing right in front of him.

He instantly skidded to a halt, heart rate shooting to astronomical levels and eyes widening on their own accord. “Y-Y/N,” he stuttered out involuntarily, the sight of her causing every single detail of their time spent together to come rushing back to him like a tidal wave ready to wipe him out.

As if he needed another excuse to think about the moment they shared that had changed him forever, about the way her moans sounded in his ear and her body felt on his lap and the way she touched his cheek, his neck, the way her lips felt on his skin, god help him—

Already he could feel the beginnings of a blush start to rise to his suddenly hot cheeks, and he cleared his throat and shifted his weight from one foot to the other to keep from springing yet another boner in front of her.

He slid his books in front of his waist, just in case.

While she usually approached him with the natural ease of self-confidence and charm, today she seemed worried, unsure. She chewed at her lower lip—something he didn’t think she really ever did, as he would certainly remember the way it stirred within him—and looked up at him beneath delicate lashes that framed her eyes.

He didn’t have it in him to keep from outright staring at her beauty.

“I… I missed you,” she finally murmured, and he felt the breath physically whoosh from his lungs to join his butterfly-filled stomach all the way at the floor.

It had been a few days since he’d last seen her, since she’d been in his room that night where they opened up about their past and confessed how they truly felt about one another and shared the most life-altering moment he’d ever experienced. He missed her too, god he missed her. He missed everything about her the moment she left his side—would picture her face in his mind as soon as she left his field of vision. But for some reason unknown to him, she was too kind to him, spared his feelings despite knowing what little experience he had. There was no way he’d be able to satisfy a girl—mentally, physically, emotionally—who could have anyone she wanted. Perhaps she pitied him. Either way, if she wouldn’t put a stop to it, then he would.

Or so he’d try, but alas, nothing ever went according to his plans where Y/N was concerned. And here she was, three simple words mumbled into existence and he couldn’t even remember his own name, much less why he’d been trying to fight this.

She seemed to expect he would say nothing—either that or she’d grown used to his silence—because before he had enough sense in him to even think about responding, she was speaking again. “How have you been?”

The question was asked with deliberate, genuine curiosity and concern; she really wanted to know if he was okay, how he was handling things after what had transpired between them. And no matter how hard Jungkook tried to fight this, fight her, fight himself, he was only human.

And so he stopped fighting.

“I– I missed you too,” he breathed out, and it was like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and relocated to his gut. He tensed at his confession, mentally berated himself for his words even though she’d been the one to say them first. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, what with the way his throat locked up.

Though the second he witnessed the smile that sprang to her tantalizing lips, he felt as light as a feather floating in the breeze.

“You did?” Her eyes lit up, sparkled under the fluorescent hallway lights that still managed to capture all of her beauty despite the unflattering lighting. He didn’t think it was possible for any scenery, not even that of a dull and stuffy university building, to make her appear any less breathtaking than she always was.

“I was so worried after I left last week,” she continued without prompt. The mention of his premature finish had him stiffening in dread, though she didn’t let enough silence fester between her words for the anxiety to claw its way up his throat. “I didn’t want you to beat yourself up. I’ve noticed you tend to be too hard on yourself sometimes.” She glanced up at him with the hint of a sheepish grin dancing on her lips.

Her expression said it all: that’s an understatement.

And this shocked him to his core, because she was absolutely right.

Just how well had she gotten to know him in their time spent together over the last few months? And how? And why?

The last question would always boggle him until the end of time; he would never understand why she was interested in him. Why was he the one she had feelings for, when she claimed she never had feelings for anybody? Though he supposed he could ask himself the same thing: why did he feel things for Y/N that he had never felt for anyone else in his life? And the answer was quite simple, really: because it was her.

He didn’t know what about himself was so special to make him stand out in her mind, and as a result he still couldn’t help but be skeptical, even after her confession. But it wasn’t like he had any choice in the matter on what to do with that skepticism—not when his heart kept leading him back to her.

At some point after her accurate description of the inner turmoil that’s been plaguing his mind, his mouth had fallen open slightly. He couldn’t hide the surprise from his face even if he tried; he was speechless.

Y/N gazed up at him, not seeming in any hurry to rush the conversation along, and for that he was grateful. He’d never met somebody so patient and understanding before—just another reason to make Jungkook’s heart flutter with endearment. And it was no secret to himself anymore that he yearned to be in Y/N’s presence for as long as possible whether he was aware of it or not.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, you know,” she continued as if she could read his mind, and that was when he realized the way his eyes avoided hers and the fact that his skin was the color of tomatoes must’ve been dead giveaways. “I meant it when I said that was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.”

Jungkook balked, practically choking on his spit at her forward, shameless words. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to the way she spoke her mind so openly without any fear holding her back. She’d gone through so much in her childhood, in her life—Jungkook not even knowing the half of it, he’s sure—and yet she was still so strong and brave and everything he wasn’t. He couldn’t help but admire the person she was today, despite all the prejudice and judgment he’d held for her when they first met.

He realized now that he was too quick to judge her, to write her off based on rumors and first impressions. He realized now that he was too quick to do that to a lot of people. Just how long had he closed himself off from others based on his skewed, morally righteous perspective? His whole life, if he had to say.

The epiphany that she was physically prying open his third eye with a crowbar, that he was now self aware and changing for the better for her—for himself—hit him all at once.

It was the most frightening sensation of his life, the introvert in him wanting to crawl back into his shell where it was safe and comfortable and dull. But deep down he knew it was also for the best.

“W-why?” He heard himself asking before he knew what he was doing. “Why do you keep saying that?”

He had to know why she insisted on standing by her statement that his mishap was not only hot, but the hottest ever. Why did she insist on lying to him, on giving him false hope? She spoke her mind in every other situation, or at least that’s what he assumed; why did she insist on sparing his feelings in this incident? Was he really that pathetic? Did she pity him that much?

She simply blinked at him once, twice, before: “Because I really like you, Jungkook.”

As if in slow motion, you could visibly see his eyes expand to the size of saucers at your words.

You would’ve found the sight comical had the situation been any different. But the way he continued to disbelieve that you could have feelings for him, that you could be attracted to everything about him despite who he was, despite his inexperience—it made your heart break in your chest. You now knew from where this inferiority complex stemmed—he’d told you himself about his family situation—and if anything, it made you want to rebuild his confidence that much more. He needed to see himself the way you saw him.

But you also didn’t want to overwhelm him, either. And you were more than willing to walk that fine line with Jungkook no matter how long it took.

“So are we on for a study sesh tonight?” You continued nonchalantly, wanting to return things to normalcy for him as much as possible before he ran away mid-conversation as he’d done so many times before. You wanted to ease his self-doubt so he’d stop avoiding you—like he’d been doing the past few days—as much as possible.

Jungkook blinked as if trying to adjust from the whiplash of your subject-change. “U–uh… if you want?”

“Of course I want to,” you replied without missing a beat, not caring how desperate you seemed so long as he didn’t question where you stood. You took a step forward, unable to help the intangible, magnetic draw you felt to him as you gazed up at him beneath your lashes. “That is… if you want to.”

You watched in agony as a gulp slowly raked its way down his throat.

“I–” his voice was hoarse before he cleared his throat. “I uh, can’t tonight. I have to study for math.”

You weren’t even sure how one studied for math, but you weren’t about to question the expert. “That’s fine! We could… do it tomorrow?”

Jungkook chewed at his bottom lip, an action he always did when he was internally struggling with something before he finally nodded his head yes in a slow, hesitant manner. “N–not in my room though,” he added as an afterthought, and when your gaze snapped to his he had a pleading expression in his eyes.

A mix of emotions rolled through you. On one hand, you were horrified at the possibility that he thought the only reason you wanted to study again was so that you could get in his pants. Which—okay, you’re not going to lie, you would love to have a repeat of last week—but that definitely wasn’t why you wanted to see him. He meant more to you than just a means to get off, which was what you’d thought of flings in the past. You didn’t want him to be just a fling, though.

You didn’t want to think of the meaning behind that fact right now, either.

But on another hand, you understood where Jungkook was coming from. Maybe it was because you’d studied him enough over the past few months to learn some of his behavior (for once you finally saw the appeal of studying), so you knew that level of intimacy was probably extremely overwhelming for Jungkook and he needed a moment to step back. Hell, it was even overwhelming for you, and that was saying something. Never had your senses, your heart, your body, your soul been attacked like that with such an abundance of emotional pleasure, and you hoped with all your might that Jungkook was feeling the same—that that was the reason he needed a breather from being alone with you, and not the fact that he just didn’t want to be intimate with you.

Unless…

Oh god, had you misread the situation entirely? Had Jungkook hated everything about that night?

Suddenly you were feeling sick to your stomach. The thought of you misunderstanding his confession—or worse, him changing his mind completely—made you want to escape to a dark and desolate stairwell and cry in the hidden nooks of the windowsill again; the irony that not only would you be pulling a Jungkook by escaping mid-conversation, but that the stairwell was also the place the two of you had your first real conversation, wasn’t lost on you.

“M–my roommate is staying in, studying for finals.” The sound of Jungkook’s voice was like a breath of fresh air whooshing into your lungs after almost drowning underwater. You blinked out of your inner turmoil, focusing on him. “So he’ll be there, i–in my room, this whole week.”

And suddenly your heart was warming with relief, hope, appreciation, like flowers blooming in the spring after a torrential downpour. Just when you thought you had him figured out, this enigma of a boy continued to surprise you. It was usually easy for you to hide your emotions—you’d been doing so for years, always wore a mask around others so that they couldn’t see the real you—and yet somehow, Jungkook must’ve sensed them anyway. He sensed the doubt, the pain, the fear that you vowed never to cage you crawling up your throat and threatening to consume you whole, and he eased it. He didn’t want you to misunderstand him. He wanted to reassure you.

If anything, that was just a testament to how Jungkook had broken down your walls—how much you had let him in, how well he was able to read the emotions you wanted to keep hidden. Your mask had begun to break, the real you showing through the cracks, and Jungkook was still standing here. He hadn’t run away.

You fought the urge to grab him and slam your lips onto his.

“Not in your room, then,” is all you managed to breathe out beneath a fluttering smile.

[gunterfan1992]

Episode Review: ‘Wizard City’ (Distant Lands, Ep. 4)

Airdate: September 2, 2021

Story by: Adam Muto, Jack Pendarvis, Kate Tsang, Hanna K. Nyström, & Charley Feldman

Storyboarded by: Maya Petersen, Hanna K. Nyström, Anna Syvertsson, & Aleks Sennwald, & Haewon Lee

Directed by: Miki Brewster & Jeff Liu (supervising), Sandra Lee (art)

An episode focusing on Peppermint Butler’s dark side is something that the fandom has craved ever since the little guy demanded Finn and Jake’s flesh in season two’s “Death in Bloom.” While installments like season five’s “The Suitor” and season six’s “Nemesis” did much to scratch that itch, the story of the Dark One remained mostly unknown…

And after “Wizard City,” it still remains largely unknown. But that’s OK, because instead of focusing on the character’s history, this special focuses on Peps’ quest to relearn magic at a magic school. Put most simply, this special is largely a fun excuse for the show to riff on Harry Potter and The Owl House-style “magic school hijinks,” and it mostly all works.

The special follows Peps quest to go to WizArts (a definite play on CalArts, the school that Pen Ward and Adam Muto, among many others, went to) so that he can relearn magic and once again become one of the greatest dark wizards of his time. Initially, Peps tries to make friends with cool kid Spader and his posse, but once they learn that Peps is not as talented at magic as they had initially thought, they kick him to the curb. It is at this point that Cadebra, Abracadaniel’s adorkable niece who is fascinated with stage magic, enters the picture. Cadebra tries everything in her power to befriend Peps, but Peps pushes back, since she’s not “cool.” It does not matter, though, because both Peps and Cadebra are sorted into the same “house”—the “Skink House—and are forced to work together.

While Peps and his cohort begin learning more and more complex magic, a secret cult of school professors, led by the otherwise caring Dr. Caledonius, are scheming to resurrect Coconteppi, a powerful dark wizard whose putrid heart has been discovered underneath the school excreting a very powerful ichor. The school cult kidnaps Spader and gives him some of the ichor to drink; they hope that because of his talent, he will be able to house the spirit of Coconteppi. This does not go as planned, and Spader is graphically killed (albeit off screen). (In a more humorous moment, Bufo, the scam wizard from season one’s “Wizard,” also ingests some of the ichor, believing himself powerful enough to handle it, but it kills him.)

Eventually Peps and Cadebra learn what is going on. Dr. Caledonius welcomes Peps, believing that he is strong enough to handle the ichor. When Cadebra’s life is put in danger, Peps reluctantly gives the putrid fluid a swig, which infuses him with the power of Coconteppi. Coconteppi-Peps then kills all the cult members before Cadebra manages to remove the ichor from Peps body. For uncovering a heinous plot, Peps is promoted to the highest house, “Salamander,” but he decides to remain a Skink and learn magic “the hard way” with Cadebra as his friend.

As I mentioned near the start of this review, “Wizard City” spends most of its time riffing on the “magic boarding school” trope, with much of the episode feeling like a light-hearted parody of Harry Potter: The characters, after all, are “sorted” into “houses,” they learn various types of magic from skilled “professors,” and they bunk in different parts of a large castle-like campus. Of course, Harry Potter didn’t invent the idea of a boarding school, but when setting your story in a school for magic, it is very hard not to lean at least somewhat into the Hogwarts relation. And this really is a double-edged sword, for while Harry Potter references can be fun here and there, they can also make the overall story feel like a fanfic parody. This special does a good job focusing more so on the characters rather than the setting, but I won’t lie, at times it did feel as if they show was really trying to make you realize it was making a Harry Potter joke.

Of all the characters introduced in the special, the breakout star is easily Cadebra, voiced by Chloe Coleman. Radiating a sort of Mabel Pines energy, Cadebra is the beam of optimism who shines brightly in an otherwise macabre special. There is something about her plucky personality and sense of wacky individualism that charms the viewer. I appreciate how the show compared and contrasted her with her uncle, the one and only Abracadaniel: like her uncle, Cadebra is a good person who wants to help others, but unlike Abracadaniel, she has a sense of courage and fortitude that results in her taking on a Coconteppi-possessed Peps at the episode’s climax. (Say what you will, Abracadaniel stans, but our favorite custodian would never have done that!) Thanks to her bravery and dedication to Peps, Cadebra is easily the heart of the special.

The episode throws an interesting little curveball into the mix by having the ‘ghost’ of Past Peppermint Butler constantly haunt Peps in the here-and-now. Past Peppermint, it seems, was so determined to become a great wizard, he cursed himself, so that if anything were to go awry, his Past self could materialize and set him straight. It’s confusing, but I do think that mixing the “overbearing parent” trope with a curse is a clever idea; it gives the whole special some dramatic heft. The whole setup is made even funnier by the special’s conclusion: After Future Peppermint Butler is ‘defeated’ and the day is saved, Peps reveals to Cadebra that he still wants to be a great and powerful dark wizard… but he wants to earn that power through hard work and determination. (Peppermint Butler might commune with demons, but he would never sell his soul to one for power; Glob helps those who help themselves, ya know?)

One of the special’s strongest points is its background art. Adventure Time always had some beautiful set pieces, and this special goes above and beyond to give WizArts an ancient sense of grandeur and mystery. Ghostshrimp, a freelance artist who was the show’s lead background designer during seasons 1-4, return for this special as a “visual developer”—basically, he mocked up a bunch of rough designs for the locales, and then the episode’s background artists worked up the final pieces in his style. On his podcast, Ghostshrimp mentioned how hectic he found Adventure Time to be, because he was used to taking his time on pieces. As such, the decision to bring him on for just development was smart, as it allowed him to still come up with iconic background designs while also playing fast and loose with everything. Hopefully the show will continue this approach with the Fionna and Cake miniseries that is coming up. After all, Ghosthsrimp’s style is the look of Adventure Time.

Another strong point for the episode is its voice acting. For one thing, you have your regulars like Tom Kenny and Dana Snyder, and Duncan Trussell, who all give a solid performance. But to voice many of the special’s new characters, the show brought on a bevy of fun actors: Saturday Night Live’s Bill Hader, for instance, is now voicing Bufo, and he does a solid job hamming up his role as the old fogey. And then there’s Toks Olagundoye, whose British accent gives Dr. Caledonius a sense of knowledge and expertise. To my delight and surprise, SungWon Cho, an internet personality and voice actor perhaps better known as ProZD, was tapped to voice Brain Wizard, and he does an excellent job. And finally, Anthony Stewart Head, a very talented actor who I know best as Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, voices Con Wizard, and is even given a fun little ditty to sing. I can safely say that the voice acting in this special is likely the best of the bunch, and it’s obvious that the actors were all having a great time playing their parts.

What drags the whole thing down, in my opinion is the excessive murder. (I joked on Twitter that during the climax of “Wizard City,” it felt like I was watching an Adventure Time-ified version of Invincible!) Infused with the power of Coconteppi, Peps goes on a brutal killing spree, boiling Potable Wizard into steam, zapping Dimension Wizard into another plane of existence, smashing Berdzerd, and—perhaps most graphically—excerebrates (had to look that word up!) Brain Wiz. On Twitter, @sometipsygnostalgic​ argued that while, yes, the scene is startling, it does wonders to transmute “a poor Summer Camp Island knockoff [into] Adventure Time chaos.” The more I think about it, the more I think that’s a fair point; after all, this is hardly the first dark thing that has happened in Adventure Time. But the part that I cannot really stomach is the fact that Spader was murdered for no real reason, and the special ends without anyone really expressing their horror at the situation. Sure, Spader was a schoolyard bully, but he was also a child. And killing a child—either for the drama or the lulz—feels decidedly out of place in an Adventure Time episode. It’s hard to express, but it just felt unnecessarily nihilistic and mean-spirited.

All things considered, I think this was a fun episode, but it was somewhat underwhelming for a ‘finale.’ Much of this is because it had to air after the perfection that was the back-to-back “Obsidian”/”Together Again” wombo combo. But I can’t help but feel like this special just felt a little... off. A little too meanspirited, and it leaned a bit too much on standard tropes. Still, it was a fun spin, and I know that I’ll rewatch it.

Mushroom War Evidence: As Peps rides the bus to school, he passes a bunch of abandoned houses, some of which are buried in the ground. There is an unexploded bomb above the fossilized elephant in the school. Cadebra has a dream that takes place in the ruins of a city.

Final Grade: B+

[hizashiiis]

Bakusquad + “Why are you awake” Part Two

PART ONE HERE

So here’s part two! Fun fact, the song Jirou plays you in her part is actually a song I wrote! I didn’t include any of the lyrics though because its lowkey really cheesy :/

I hope you like this! This one is for Sero, Mina, and Jirou.

Warnings: insomnia, depression kinda

Sero Hanta

- Sero is very much a hypocrite when it comes to getting enough sleep

- He’s constantly up at all hours, even sending you random texts if he can’t sleep

- But when you aren’t going to bed at a normal time?

- He’s so sad

- He looks like you kicked his puppy and then him in rapid succession. 

- It’s crazy because he seems to just instinctively know when you’re awake

- Like he bolts up in his bed all, “they ain’t in bed. I’m abt to beat some ass.”

- He’s never sure if he’s right though, so he texts you a meme he made specifically for you being up too late

- It’s probably really cheesy and outdated, but the effort is there

- If you respond to it (because you will) he knocks on the wall between your dorms and talks to you 

- Often, you both just stay up like that

Sero’s body is awake before his mind, moving him to sit up in bed before he can think. He was having a really intense dream; something about talking mice. He didn’t mind it, but he woke up as if he’d had a nightmare. 

Faintly, from the wall beside him, he can hear low music playing, but he can’t make out what song it is. It’s coming from your room, though, so he’s concerned. 

The sky outside is dark, clouds drifting across his windowed view of the moon. It must be pretty late; all the noise is gone, leaving nothing but static air, and the music. He leans over his bed to look at the time on his phone. It’s around 2 am. The song you’re playing ends, and he recognizes the next one. It’s on your sad playlist. 

He sends you the meme, as well as an invitation for a hug as soon as it’s morning. You respond almost instantly, assuring him that you’re fine, you just couldn’t sleep. But he knows you better than that. 

Knocking on the wall between you, he hears the music stop suddenly. He calls out to your wall. 

“Mi amor? What’s keeping you awake?” He’s met with silence for a moment before your shaky voice responds.

“I’m okay. I just kinda got hit with some sad, y’know?” He does know. He knows that this happens sometimes. It happens to him, too. But he hates hearing your voice sound so lost. You almost sound hopeless, and he can’t bear it. 

“I understand.” He places his hand up to the wall, wishing he could hold you. Unfortunately, you had both been told off by Iida for sleeping in each other’s rooms more than enough times lately, so he couldn’t just go see you. He opts instead for hugging a stuffed giraffe you had gotten him after the Sports Festival. 

“Do you want me to distract you, or do you want to talk about it?” He asks, stroking the giraffe’s head as if it’s your hair, not knowing that on the other side of the wall, you’re holding a stuffed lion the same way. 

“Distract me?” Your voice comes out only just loud enough for him to hear you, but he understands. He begins to tell you a story. He’s told it before. It’s about a great hero, one who fights crime valiantly, and his partner, also a fantastic hero. He ad-libs parts of it, making pretend villains say silly slogans, and recounting how the heroes save the day. 

As he reaches the end, he hears you giggle a bit. “Oh? Did it work? Are you smiling over there, my sweet?” He calls to you, a teasing lilt to his voice. 

“A little bit.” You respond, playing with your stuffed animal. “If you keep talking, maybe I’ll even smile more.”

He laughs, eyes bleary with sleep, but happy to talk to you the whole night.

Mina Ashido

- Honestly, she’s no better than you about staying awake

- She tries to sleep, but her thoughts are always racing

- Sometimes it’s thoughts of you, sometimes of new things she wants to try in training, or things she wants to see if she can convince her friends to do

- But she wants you to get adequate rest, even if it’s hard for her to do the same

- She used to get told off for sneaking to your room every night, but then Momo and Iida saw how much better you were performing in school on the days after she’d been there, and they started letting it slide

- It’s nicer for her, too, because she has someone to ramble to as the two of you fall asleep

Mina skipped down the hallway toward your room. It was a bit past midnight, and usually, you would be asleep by this time. It was well past lights out, and classes had run long that day, not to mention the endless exams that were happening at UA right now. So when she reached your door, she was surprised to find you watching a movie on your phone instead of snoring. 

“Hey bug! Why are you still up, don’t you know what time it is?” She says, throwing a grin your way as she puts her blanket down next to you. 

You shrug, yawning. “I could ask you the same thing, love.” She pouts at that, tossing her arm around your shoulder and pressing a kiss to your temple.

She watches you watching your show for a few minutes before saying anything. It looks good, she supposes, but she has a better idea of what to watch. “Scoot over.” She pushes you lightly, giggling as you scrunch to the side to give her more room. “Do you wanna watch something with me?” She asks, holding up her phone. 

You look at her for a moment. “That is what we are currently doing, is it not?” You hold up your phone in return, showing her the paused screen. 

“But I have a better movie!” She insists, unlocking her screen and shoving it above yours so that you can see her pick. She’s right, it is a better movie. You guys have watched the entire Studio Ghibli filmography, but even you know that her favorite, “When Marnie was There,” is the better option at this particular moment. 

You toss your phone to the side, pulling her in to lay next to you. “Fair enough, bubs, I guess yours is better.” You feign reluctance, watching her excitedly press play and tuck the blanket in around the both of you. Her arm curls tighter around your shoulders, and she giggles as the opening credits start. 

“Hey Minari?” You use her favorite nickname, looking at her through hooded, sleepy eyes. She hums in response. “Why is this one your favorite?”

Hearing the question, she pauses the movie, turning to look right at you. She’s quiet for a moment, thinking about her answer. “I guess because they remind me of us! Like I’m Marnie, and you’re Anna, and we’re having this great adventure together!” You feel your face heat at her words, thinking about the movie more critically now. Mina continues, “It’s like…” she pauses, finding the right words. “Like Anna is learning how her friendship with Marnie can make her feel more right, as a person. And I feel like that about you!” 

You’re tearing up now, unsure how to respond. Mina is so many things, and being with you is that important to her? It’s a new feeling, but certainly a welcome one. You pull her down, giving her a kiss. And then another kiss. And one on her nose. 

“Press play, Mina.”

Kyoka Jirou

- Lol u think she sleeps?

- She does, but not at night

- Were it not for classes, Jirou would be essentially nocturnal

- So you try to remind her to go to sleep

- Sometimes you’ll walk past her dorm at night, and you hear her guitar, softly playing her favorite songs

- Before you got together, sometimes you would sit outside her door and listen to her play

- Not in a creepy way, there’s just a little common area right outside her room and you like took a book there, you weren’t like ooh it’s late i think i’ll sit outside someone’s room and listen to them

- You aren’t Mineta. 

- But anyway

- Now that you are together, Jirou thinks it’s really sweet that you listen to her play

- Sometimes she leaves her door cracked open so you can come in

It’s 4 o’clock in the morning, and the light is on in Jirou’s room. You had come out to go to the bathroom, but you noticed her guitar, and decided to stay. The soft strumming is pretty, and you’re glad to be one of the few people allowed to hear it. 

Opening Jirou’s door just a bit more, you nod toward her desk chair in a silent question. She nods, so you go sit down. 

She’s playing a song you don’t recognize, and the lyrics are sad. Even still, it’s beautiful, and your eyes seem to naturally close, taking in the melody of her voice. She used to tell you her voice wasn’t anything special, but she seems content now to let you listen. 

The guitar resonates with the last few chords, and the ending note is held for three beats. When she’s finished, Jirou opens her eyes and looks at you, waiting for your thoughts.

“It was beautiful. Did you write that?” You ask her, your hands fidgeting with the urge to hold her own. She nods, but doesn’t say anything. 

You don’t acknowledge the sad theme of the song. She’s told you before that sometimes sad songs are easier than happy ones. That the melody is clearer. You don’t mind. All her songs are beautiful, and they reflect her in them, and isn’t that what makes a piece of art?

“I have another one, if you’d like to hear it?” She looks nervous; something you never see on her.

“I’d love to!” Your exclamation seems to snap her out of the anxiety in her eyes, which narrow a little. 

“Just…” She starts, looking away from you to adjust the capo on her instrument. “Don’t freak out, okay?”

Confused, you nod, and she starts playing. 

The song starts out with a few chords repeating in a loop, and then she begins to sing. The lyrics are confusing to you at first, and you still aren’t sure why she’s told you not to freak out. But then she gets to the chorus, and it begins to make more sense. 

Lyrics, in essence, are a poem, and this one is a love poem. Her thoughts, written out, are so sweet and loving, that you’re sure you don’t know what to think. She sings elegantly, like someone who’s never known how to dance, and yet is waltzing perfectly across a shining floor. 

She finishes the song with a declaration of loyalty, and you realize your eyes are watering. She looks at you, waiting for your thoughts. 

You say nothing. You don’t know how to say anything, so you stand, cross to her, and pull her into a hug. She’s not usually one for physical touch, but she holds you tightly. 

“It’s about me, right?” You laugh, leaving a kiss on her calloused fingers. She rolls her eyes. 

“Obviously.”

She smiles at you, pulling you to lay on her bed as she puts her guitar in its case, taking the capo off the strings. “You should sleep. It’s like, morning now.”

“You should too.” You retort, still holding her hand. 

“No.”