#its grounds for a great adventure if we may phrase it like that

[fjordfolk]

How does Sparta pathfind for you 😮

sparty walks first and the rest of us follow, basically. usually when heading out she'll stick to where people have gone before (rather than following ie sheeptracks, which can look like paths) and when heading home, she follows the track we left. that's kept us from walking off a few cliffs over the years :P

there have been times when we've disagreed on which one's the right way, and unfortunately for me, she has been right every single time. this also means that if i go off the regular trail on purpose, she looks at me like i'm stupid and has to be convinced to come along.

this isnt something ive taught her, and i took it for granted for many years, assuming all dogs do this. luna does not (at all.) troja does it sometimes and has gotten better, but she's not reliable and i don't always think she can tell a new track from an old one.

[mementoboni]

PHALARIS booklet track by track commentary

Notes before reading:

Source: Booklet of DIR EN GREY's album "PHALARIS"(2022), comments from members on each song.

I translated the content into Chinese in July 2022, and the English version was translated in May 2023. (*) are my own thoughts or additions.

Kyo added "ね (ne)" at the end of almost every line, which indicates a tone of voice that's difficult to understand and translate through words.

Toshiya commented on each song almost exclusively in terms of its lyrics. So it may be a bit confusing to read.

Repost and share are welcome.🙌 Please feel free to correct me if you spot any mistake or any confusing parts.☺️

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Disc1

01. Schadenfreude

Kyo: It's long. Kaoru: It was September 2020 when I created the demos for a slow-tempo song and a fast-paced song at the same time. I think we decided to pre-produce the fast-paced song and rejected the slow-tempo song. After that, I tried to keep the galloping feeling of the song, but I couldn't get a good feeling for it and time passed. In 2021, we started talking about having a long song, so I struggled to make the song longer, but it didn't take shape well. In the spring of 2021, when I was struggling with the idea, I remembered the existence of a slow-tempo song I had created around the same time, so I decided to put in the taste of that song and started a major remodeling. Since the song had been rejected, I kept the rhythm, changed the riffs and worked on it as hard as I could. When the band members heard the demo, they decided to go with this style, but again, it didn't turn out well. The longer the song gets, the more I want to add waves of development, but it just didn't feel exciting enough. At that time, one of the members suggested to me that I should try to make the whole piece more intense. And so the great adventure began again. It was really hard to finish at this point in time, but it turned out well. Please enjoy the wave of fury that is revealed from the first song. Die: As the first song in the album, it is a symbol of "PHALARIS". Toshiya: The door to "PHALARIS" opens from this song. The entrance to the dazzling labyrinth, fumbling the way to hell. Shinya: This song is packed with super difficult drum phrases from the first track on the album. I personally like the phrases in 4:30 because they seem mature.

02. 朧 (Oboro)

Kyo: It's dark. Kaoru: I created this song with the expectation that it would be in a good position on the album, but since it was to be a single, I kept it rather simple. I thought about changing it a lot for the album, but decided to leave it as is. Die: The moment "Schadenfreude" passes and the sound of this intro rings, my spine is chilling. Toshiya: Here, beg and pray for forgiveness. Shinya: At first I couldn't remember the complicated drum beat of A-Melo (Verse) at all, but I've played it at Live many times, so I'm pretty used to it. It's medium speed, but the drum is very delicate.

03. The Perfume of Sins

Kyo: It's fast. Kaoru: When I first started working on the demo, I wanted to make a dark and impactful song like before. I thought about trying the fast rhythm of "tsuta tsuta" that haven't seen for a long time, and it turned out to be such a clang song. Die: From the ground-crawling guitar riffs to the super-fast beat, it's thrilling. Toshiya: Let's drown in the scintillation. Shinya: The fastest phrase in the album comes out. Even if it's 0.01 seconds, it's so fast that you can't see it anymore, and it takes a lot of concentration, so it's going to be hard even at live.

04. 13

Kyo: It's the 4th song. Kaoru: This song was created around the same time as "Oboro," and I thought the development after the chorus connecting to Die's solo turned out to be a nice touch. Die: DIR EN GREY-style emotional. Toshiya: At the end of the stairs. Shinya: The song is melodious and easy to listen to, but the drums are strangely complicated. It ends without a normal beat from beginning to end.

05. 現、忘我を喰らう (Utsutsu, Bouga wo Kurau)

Kyo: I'm trying to sing in an interesting way. Kaoru: The song came out quite a while ago, but we started working on it towards the end. It is a song with strong character, and I think everyone will like it. Die: Irregular rhythms and monophonic guitar riffs. Unique ambiance. Toshiya: Dancing the rondo of life. Shinya: It is a song with a special rhythm pattern full of rest marks. This song ends without a normal beat. It seems that it is very difficult to get used to the body.

06. 落ちた事のある空 (Ochita Koto no Aru Sora)

Kyo: Hope it doesn't fall off again. Kaoru: Actually, we produced this song for a commission case. So, we have put our own style in full throttle. By the way, that case seems to have been lost. (*I wonder what kind of commission case it is. 🤔) Die: Melodies intertwined with dizzying guitar riffs. Dense. Toshiya: Eagerly waiting for the tomorrow that will never come. Shinya: The drums were rather complicated, but the songs so far are so intense that it sounds simple now. I've played this song many times in live performances, and the groove is perfect.

07. 盲愛に処す (Mouai ni Shosu)

Kyo: Mouai-san. Kaoru: It's all about imagining what it feels like to move the atmosphere. I think this is the last song in the album that we started working on. It might have been finished early. Die: The hooky rhythm is pleasant. Toshiya: This place is everything. Shinya: The drums are busy with many phrases involving toms. I have to create a syncopated groove, so I divide my head into two parts and play while thinking about each part separately.

08. 響 (Hibiki)

Kyo: It's emo. Kaoru: This song was created from a demo we had in the past, just as the album songs were almost ready to be released. Die-kun made an unique arrangement of the song. Die: The feeling of being saved by the light at the end. Toshiya: Stand in silence in front of the empty shells. Shinya: The drums are played in a strange way from the beginning to the end. If you listen only to the drums, it will probably make no sense.

09. Eddie

Kyo: It's fast. Kaoru: It started out as a light-hearted song, but we thought it could be taken to a more violent level. The tempo was sped up and the riffs were roughed up to make it a raging song. I am looking forward to the live performance. Die: I didn't expect to end up with such a hard core from that prototype. Toshiya: Covered in shit. Shinya: It's just fast. It starts with momentum, moves forward with momentum, and when I notice it, it's already over. The drums are just like before, full of guts.

10. 御伽 (Otogi)

Kyo: It's otogi ↑, not otogi ↓, right? Kaoru: It reminds me a little of the old days, but I think it's a type of song that never existed before. There may be a lot of such songs in this album. This is a song that feels good to play. Die: The guitar riffs and melodies with open strings are beautiful. Toshiya: Show love with the tip of my numb fingers. Shinya: It's a song filled with my own drum phrases. I personally like the part of 1:47, where I use the high-hat and the ride cymbal to create a semiquaver rhythm.

11. カムイ (Kamuy)

Kyo: The sound is beautiful. Kaoru: This song was even more difficult than "Schadenfreude”. I created this song with the idea that it would be the one to take over after the departure of "Oboro" as a single. It’s a song with new parts and a strong DIR EN GREY feel. Die: The moment when the heavy guitar riff instantly erases the sad sound of the acoustic guitar. Toshiya: The door to "PHALARIS" closes with this song. Today I step on worthless bugs again, I am the same human being. Shinya: This song is also full of my own drum phrases. My personal favorites are the toms at 2:47 and the snare drum phrases at 5:43.

. . .

Disc2

01. mazohyst of decadence

Kyo: It's dark. Burning with jealousy. Kaoru: I think we rearranged it when we used to play it at a live show, and newly arranged it to the latest version. I played the sitar again since the recording of this song at that time, but it was only used in a very small part of the song. Die: Heavier and deeper. Toshiya: When the Ubume cries. (*Ubume (產女，うぶめ) is a Japanese Youkai, which is transformed from the obsession of a woman who died in childbirth.) Shinya: The structure of the song has changed rather a lot from the original, so I thought of the drums again with a new feeling based on the previous phrases.

02. ain't afraid to die

Kyo: If I sing it in 2022, it will be like this. Kaoru: I wondered what it would be like if we did it now without messing with it too much, so I just went along with it. The solo part was a little bit calculated because I couldn't show the roughness at that time. I played the solo many times, but that's a secret between us. Die: I still remember when we finished part of the song and slept together during the pre-production. Toshiya: For the last time this year. Shinya: I completely recreated the phrases from those days. Even listening to it now, I quite like the drum phrases.

(END)

— — —

中文翻譯 → here (My Blogger)

[benevolentbirdgal]

“Thirteen″ Tips for Writing About Synagogues / Jewish Writing Advice / Advice for Visiting Synagogues

So your story includes a Jew (or two) and you’ve a got a scene in a synagogue. Maybe there’s a bar mitzvah, maybe your gentile protagonist is visiting their partner’s synagogue. Maybe there’s a wedding or a community meeting being held there. For whatever reason, you want a scene in a shul. I’m here as your friendly (virtual) neighborhood Jewish professional to help you not sound like a gentile who thinks a synagogue is just a church with a Star of David instead of a cross. 

Quick note: The are lots of synagogues around the world, with different specific cultural, local, and denominational practices. The Jewish community is made up of roughly 14 million people worldwide with all sorts of backgrounds, practices, life circumstances, and beliefs. I’m just one American Jew, but I’ve had exposure to Jewishness in many forms after living in 3.5 states (at several different population densities/layouts), attending Jewish day school and youth groups, doing Jewish college stuff, and landing a job at a Jewish non-profit. I’m speaking specifically in an American or Americanish context, though some of this will apply elsewhere as well. I’m also writing from the view of Before Times when gatherings and food and human contact was okay.

Bear in mind as well, in this discussion, the sliding scale of traditional observance to secular/liberal observance in modern denominations: Ultraorthodox (strict tradition), Modern Orthodox (Jewish law matters but we live in a modern world), Conservative (no relation to conservative politics, brands itself middle ground Judaism), Reconstructionist (start with Jewish law and then drop/add bits to choose your own adventure), and Reform (true build your own adventure, start at basically zero and incorporate only as you actively choose).

Synagogue = shul = temple. Mikvah (ritual bath) is its own thing and usually not attached to the shul. Jewish cemeteries are also typically nowhere near the shul, because dead bodies are considered impure.   

A Bar/Bat/Bnai Mitzvah is the Jewish coming of age ceremony. Bar (“son”) for boys at 13+, Bat (“daughter”) at 12+, and Bnai (“children”) for multiples (i.e. twins/triplets/siblings) or non-binary kids (although the use of the phrase “Bnai Mitzvah” this way is pretty new). 12/13 is the minimum, 12-14 the norm but very Reform will sometimes allow 11 and anybody above 12/13 can have theirs. Probably a dedicated post for another time. Generally, however, the following will happen: the kid will lead some parts of services, read from and/or carry the Torah, and make a couple of speeches. 

Attire: think Sunday Best (in this case Saturday), not come as you are. Even at very liberal reconstructionist/reform synagogues you wouldn’t show up in jeans and a t-shirt or work overalls. Unless they are seriously disconnected from their culture, your Jewish character is not coming to Saturday morning services in sneakers and jeans (their gentile guest, however, might come too casual and that’d be awkward).  1a. The more traditional the denomination, the more modest the attire. Outside of orthodoxy woman may wear pants, but dresses/skirts are more common. Tights for anything above knee common for Conservative/Reform/Recon, common for even below knee for orthodox shuls. Men will typically be wearing suits or close to it, except in very Reform spaces.  1b. Really, think business casual or nice dinner is the level of dressiness here for regular services. Some minor holidays or smaller events more casual is fine. Social events and classes casual is fine too.  1c. Even in reform synagogues, modesty is a thing. Get to the knee or close to it. No shoulders (this an obsession in many Jewish religious spaces for whatever reason), midriffs, or excessive cleavage (as I imagine to be the norm in most houses of worship). 

Gendered clothing:  3a. Men and boys wear kippahs (alt kippot, yarmulkes) in synagogues, regardless of whether they’re Jewish or not out of respect to the space. Outside of Jewish spaces it’s saying “I’m a Jew” but inside of Jewish spaces it’s saying “I’m a Jew or a gentile dude who respects the Jewish space.”  Outside of very Reform shuls, it’s a major faux pass to be a dude not wearing one.  3b. There are little buckets of loaner kippahs if you don’t bring your own and commemorative kippahs are given away at events (bar mitzvah, weddings). Your Jewish dude character not bringing or grabbing one is basically shouting “I’m new here.”  3c. Women are permitted to wear kippahs, but the adoption of a the traditionally masculine accessory will likely be interpreted by other Jews as LGBTQ+ presentation, intense feminism, and/or intense but nontraditional devoutness. Nobody will clutch their pearls (outside of ultraorthodoxy) but your character is sending a message.  3d. Tefillin are leather boxes and wrappings with prayers inside them that some Jewish men wrap around their arms (no under bar mitzvah or gentiles). Like with the kippah, a woman doing this is sending a message of feminism and/or nontraditional religious fervor.  3e. Additionally, prayer shawls, known as tallit, are encouraged/lightly expected of Jewish males (over 13) but not as much as Kippahs are. It is more common to have a personal set of tallit than tefillin. Blue and white is traditional, but they come in all sorts of fun colors and patterns now. Mine is purple and pink. It is much more common for women to have tallit and carries much fewer implications about their relationship to Judaism than wearing a kippah does.  3f. Married woman usually cover their hair in synagogues. Orthodox women will have wigs or full hair covers, but most Jewish woman will put a token scarf or doily on their head in the synagogue that doesn’t actually cover their hair. The shul will also have a doily loaner bucket. 

Jewish services are long (like 3-4 hours on a Saturday morning), but most people don’t get there until about the 1-1.5 hour mark. Your disconnected Jewish character or their gentile partner might not know that though. 

Although an active and traditional synagogue will have brief prayers three times every day, Torah services thrice a week, holiday programming, and weekly Friday night and Saturday morning services, the latter is the thing your Jewish character is most likely attending on the reg. A typical Saturday morning service will start with Shacharit (morning prayers) at 8:30-9, your genre savvy not-rabbi not-Bnai mitzvah kid Jewish character will get there around 9:30-10:15. 10:15-10:30 is the Torah service, which is followed by additional prayers. Depending on the day of the Jewish year (holidays, first day of new month, special shabbats), they’ll be done by 12:30 or 1 p.m. Usually.  After that is the oneg, a communal meal. Onegs start with wine and challah, and commence with a full meal. No waiting 4-8 hours to have a covered-dish supper after services. The oneg, outside of very, very, very Reform spaces will be kosher meat or kosher dairy. 

To conduct certain prayers (including the mourner’s prayers and the Torah service) you need a Minyan, which at least 10 Jewish “adults” must be present, defined as post Bar/Bat/Bnai Mitzvah. In Conservative/Reform/Recon, men and women are counted equally. In Ultraorthodox women are not counted. In Modern Orthodox it depends on the congregation, and some congregations will hold women’s-only services as well with at least ten “adult” Jewish women present.

In Conservative and Orthodox shuls, very little English is used outside of speeches and sermons. Prayers are in Hebrew, which many Jews can read the script of but not understand. Transliterations are also a thing.  In Reform synagogues, there’s heavy reliance on the lingua franca (usually English in American congregations). Reconstructionist really varies, but is generally more Hebrew-based than Reform. 

We’re a very inquisitive people. If your character is new to the synagogue, there will be lots of questions at the post-services oneg (meal, typically brunch/lunch). Are you new in town? Have you been here before? Where did you come from? Are you related to my friend from there? How was parking? Do you know my cousin? Are you single? What is your mother’s name? What do you think of the oneg - was there enough cream cheese? What summer camp did you go to? Can you read Hebrew? Have you joined?  A disconnected Jew or gentile might find it overwhelming, but many connected Jews who are used to it would be like “home sweet chaos” because it’s OUR chaos. 

In Orthodox synagogues, men and women have separate seating sections. There may be a balcony or back section, or there may be a divider known as a mechitzah in the middle. Children under 12/13 are permitted on either side, but over 12/13 folks have to stay one section or the other. Yes, this is a problem/challenge for trans and nonbinary Jews.  Mechitzahs are not a thing outside of orthodoxy. Some older Conservative synagogues will have women’s sections, but no longer expect or enforce this arrangement.   

Money. Is. Not. Handled. On. Shabbat. Or. Holidays. Especially. Not. In. The. Synagogue. Seriously, nothing says “goy writing Jews” more than a collection plate in shul. No money plate, no checks being passed around, even over calls for money (as opposed to just talking about all the great stuff they do and upcoming projects) are tacky and forbidden on Shabbat. Synagogues rely on donations and dues, and will solicit from members, but don’t outright request money on holidays and Shabbat. 

Outside of Reform and very nontraditional Conservative spaces, no instruments on Shabbat or holidays. No clapping either. Same goes for phones, cameras, and other electronics outside of microphones (which aren’t permitted in Orthodox services either).  11a. In the now-times an increasing number of shuls have set up cameras ahead of time pre-programmed to record, so they don’t have to actively “make fire” which is “work” (this is the relevant commandment/mitzvah) on Shabbat, so services can be live-streamed. 11b. After someone has completed an honor (reading from the Torah, carrying the Torah, opening the ark, etc), the appropriate response is a handshake after and the words “Yasher Koach” (again, Before-Times).

Jewish services involve a lot of movement. Get up, sit down. Look behind you, look in front of you. Twist left, twist right. A disconnected Jew or gentile visitor would be best off just trying to follow along with what an exchange student we had once termed “Jewish choreography.” Some prayers are standing prayers (if able), some are sitting prayers. It’s just how it is, although a handful of prayers have variations on who stands. 

[brownstonearmy]

2021-08-01: Out In The Styx (Part 1)

Tuesday September 15 (evening)

In the days since our last adventure, the poopy tornadoes have subsided. Unfortunately, another threat has begun to take its toll on the citizens of Brownstone. There's something in the water that seems to be making the residents (for lack of a better word) stupid. Rooney thinks that Brynnan is probably behind (or at least involved with) whatever is going on with the water. The party has been tasked by new mayor Zaribeth Quickfingers to find and fix the problem, but the usual culprits for water problems aren't involved this time.

Lucky suggests flipping a coin to determine where the party should investigate next, and the options are these: several holes that have opened up in the ground in recent adventures, the shadow spire, some other plane, and (just for funsies) trying to gain access to the Nine Hells. Lucky doesn't want to flip the coin herself because the coin tends to land sideways far too often. Spleenifer performs the coin flips and it is determined that the hole where Yula got incinerated at the Harvest Festival is where the party will start today's investigation.

Aside from a few safety cones and a sign warning about the dangers of falling into the hole, not much repair work has been done on the massive hole. The sewer's magical rubbish incinerator is still visible at the bottom of the hole, along with a few stray pieces of outhouse lumber that didn't hit the incinerator 10 feet below. A viscous orange goo is seeping onto the floor of the incineration chamber.

Lucky eyes the goo and says "Someone should probably taste it and see if it's the Dumb Liquid."

Dear reader, this is the exact moment where the adventure train starts to go off the rails in the most wonderful way possible. No one in the party wants to taste it, so naturally the role of test subject falls upon Zaribeth Quickfingers. Who, it should be noted, isn't present at all for this discussion. The party will secretly give it to the mayor in the guise of a pie to test the liquid.

Lucky dumps out four jars' worth of jam from her pack and uses Mage Hand to get the liquid in the jar. She also prestidigitates the words "DO NOT EAT" onto the jar. You know, for safety. Once the samples have been captured, some additional details about the goo emerges. It's about the consistency of honey, just barely translucent, and smells a bit musty. Now all that's left is to enlist the help of a talented baker with questionable morals.

That's where Granny Agatha comes in. "What brings you to my doorstep?" she asks.

"Mischief," says the party.

This resonates with Granny Agatha, who has been nursing a grudge against government and politicians for a while after her court appearance. She agrees to make a pie for the party's use, but only on the condition that she gets to bake and keep a similar pie for her own purposes. Pie-based political revolution is agreeable for both parties, and two mystery liquid pies come out of the oven a short time later.

Once everyone gets close to the Mayoral Manor, Spleenifer and Q (who is going as Disco today) split up to provide reconnaissance and distractions as Lucky polymorphs into regular halfing who works for the just-now-made-up Halfling Food Delivery Service. Lucky knocks on the door and a guard signs for the delivery. As the guard turns around, Lucky becomes invisible and sneaks through the door before it closes.

Guards in the Mayor Manor are a new addition under the Quickfingers administration, and Disco notices that there are also four plainclothes guards making regular patrols of the area. Disco slinks into the shadows of the evening's twilight and becomes effectively invisible. Meanwhile, Spleenifer does not attempt to hide her great height in the slightest and starts wandering the outside perimeter of the building.

Spleenifer finds a suitable spot of wall and gives it a mighty kick. It makes a terrible racket as Spleenifer kicks a hole clean through the wall. It appears that Shepherd Dunwall, the previous mayor, had renovated some of the building's exterior after the town flooded with some of his ample manure collection.

Back inside the manor, the invisible Lucky is dealing with a different situation. The guard with the pie is waffling on whether or not to sneak a taste. Lucky does her best mimicry of the guard's voice to convince him that it's probably not a good idea.

Disco's employing a similar tactic on the plainclothes guards from their hiding spot in the shadows. Their first attempt convinces a guard that Disco's whispering is actually a ghost, and that guard refuses to listen to sassy ghosts as a matter of principle. But Disco's second attempt on the next guard... that gets some traction.

"Does your father know where you work?" Disco asks the guard. The guard, whom we'll call Randy, comes to realize that he's working for a criminal and that Disco's voice is actually the voice of his conscience. "Randy's conscience" tells him to cause trouble for his employer. How much trouble should he cause? Pooping on the mayor's desk without getting caught would be a good start. Randy's convinced and leaves his post to go inside.

On a different side of the building, two uniformed guards have confronted Spleenifer. She places her Handy Haversack on her head and screams "I AM THE WRONG DISHONORABLE SPLEENIE MEANIE!" The guards are taken aback for a moment before realizing that she's likely a victim of the so-called "stupid juice" in the water.

The guards march back inside to give Zaribeth an update on the situation. Lucky is still invisible and has managed to sneak her way through several doors to reach Zaribeth's office. The pie guard (I'm just gonna call him Gordy) has placed the pie on Zaribeth's desk, but she's in the middle of doing a pile of mayoral paperwork. Zaribeth tells Spleenifer's guards (Jerome and Albert) to just handle the situation however they see fit. Even if it involves a little bit of light murder.

Randy almost comes into Zaribeth's office but sees Zaribeth sitting there and sneaks back a bit. "WHAT SHOULD I DO, CONSCIENCE?" Randy whispers. And Lucky, who is unaware of Disco's previous conversation with Randy, is able to reply in such a way that only Randy can hear: "Do it right outside."

And thus, Randy drops his trousers and poops right outside the boss's office door.

Zaribeth knows Randy is afflicted with a condition where he sometimes hears voices, but curtly asks him to do it somewhere else because she's trying to get all this paperwork done.

Jerome and Albert confront Spleenifer again and try to convince her to leave without having to resort to violence. But when Spleenifer corrects their grammar while using the phrase "second person pronouns," the guards know that she's not actually on the stupid juice. But this doesn't immediately trigger violence in the guards. Instead, it causes a moral debate between the Albert and Jerome about the merits of killing. Spleenifer goes off on a series of tangents and eventually convinces the guards that if they let her be a guard for the next five to fifteen minutes, she'll leave on her own.

Albert and Jerome fold like cheap lawnchairs, leaving their posts to go get a drink instead. Randy has the misfortune of emerging from the main door after his act of bowel rebellion, and Spleenifer berates him for using the door instead of this new "entrance" that Speenifer's sizable boot just added to the wall.

Inside the mayor's office, Zaribeth gets distracted enough to eat the delicious-smelling pie on her desk. But the problem now is that she doesn't have a fork handy. But Lucky's got that covered! She uses sleight of hand to shove a fork into Zaribeth's desk drawer.

Zaribeth checks the drawer for the fork that she "forgot" she put in there and tucks into the pie. "THIS PIE GOOD," she says. With the party's suspicions confirmed, Lucky begins the process of vacating the premises with Disco and Spleenifer.

Now that the party's identified part of the problem, they go to collect more samples of the goo. Lucky once again uses Mage Hand to secure the samples, which causes a wild magic surge that results in her hair to try to escape Lucky's head and also makes the hair repeat back random words it overhears. With four more jam jars full of treacherous ooze, the party searches out a familiar (and technically dead) person: Jangles.

Jangles' house looks condemned and covered in caution tape, but Disco understands that this is probably some sort of illusion to keep up the appearances of Jangles' death. "Yoohoo!" Disco shouts from the parlor of Jangles' house once they've let themselves in.

"Yoohoo!" Lucky's hair repeats.

After a bit of searching, the party is able to coax Jangles out of hiding. Jangles is wearing disheveled clothes and presenting as masculine today. When Jangles hears about Lucky's pie-related treachery, they want to see it firsthand via memory viewing. They offer Lucky an ugly hat that is part of a pair that allows memories to flow between the hats. Lucky declines the offer for now until her hair calms down.

It turns out that Jangles may have created an item during their lockdown that might be helpful to the party. Jangles retrieves an airtight box that contains an object called the Towel of McClane. It basically works like a reverse-version of the Decanter of Endless Water and endlessly absorbs liquids instead of producing them. Jangles gives the party a brief safety lesson on this partially-tested object, and the party prepares to depart for the evening.

As the party is going out the door, Jangles learns that Spleenifer is "practicing law" and asks if she would be willing to help "settle the Jangles estate." You know, as much as you can settle an estate while the person in question is actually alive. Oh, and there's one last little tidbit before we conclude for the adventure for the evening:

Lucky makes it home to Hilaria to show off her new talking hair. Hilaria loves it and tries to teach it how to swear like a parrot. She also tries to feed the hair crackers. Those two are just so cute together!

Stay tuned next time for more!

[msuevents]

— MOKSEONG UNIVERSITY OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY event #2: mokseong mausoleum — the chilling adventures of...

something wicked this way comes... it’s halloween! to celebrate all hallows' eve, the mokseong castle and the grounds have been charmed to look extra spooky, with several different activities scattered around for your entertainment. even the dungeons have been transformed to look like a mausoleum for the costume party... beware of the mummies!  the halloween event takes place on saturday, the 31st of october, with a bunch of activities arranged for your enjoyment by the mokseong staff. it’ll end with a costume party, with permission from the staff to keep partying through out the night (as long as everyone’s in class on monday)! but professor aurora still doesn’t want any kind of funny business, alright? ooc information will be found under the cut. for this event, there will also be two interactive events (special tasks) in which you can score double points! in relation to this event being spooky themed, the npcs page has also been updated with a ghost for each house!

— ACTIVITIES

apple bobbing are you ready to snatch up something delicious… with your teeth? look no further and come bobbing for apples! the apples are dipped into a large basin with water, floating at the surface as they wait to be caught. but the rumor around campus is that the apples are charmed, and if you unpeel it and throw the peel into the water again it’ll make a shape and reveal the first letter of your soulmate’s name…

mirror maze the great hall’s been transformed into a house of mirrors. tall mirrors, wide mirrors, distorted mirrors, and, uh, charmed mirrors? yes, if being stuck in a maze on the ground wasn’t bad enough, students are also able to walk up against the walls and ceiling mirrors due to a sticky charm! will you be able to escape this puzzle without clues? if not, just ask our sir hendrick the brave for one! if you can catch him…

haunted house were you hoping for a workout this hallow’s eve? too bad! the school’s gym has for one day been transformed into a haunted house, engulfed in a darkness so deep you can barely make out your own silhouette. the haunted house has been filled with restless spirits, and if you’re lucky, you might run into a few familiar faces!

pumpkin carving it wouldn't be a halloween party without pumpkins! come join us for a leisurely time in our pumpkin patch where you can make jack o'lanterns to take back with you to your dorms! whether you decide to carve or paint their faces is completely up to you! want to give them a personality too? charm them to speak after you're finished! they'll make a fun companion to carry around or even to decorate the campus with. just don't throw any or caretaker smith is going to have a fit!

carriage ride want a little romantic, but spooky getaway from the rest of the campus? come take a ride on our enchanted carriages! well, enchanted for those who can't see them anyway. these carriages are pulled by threstals that are provided by our very own groundskeeper lee. this carriage ride will take you all around mokseong university from the castle grounds to past the pool of the universe and back. with the carriages charmed to make the ride seem like the dead of night,  the fog and chilling sound effects just brings more of the spooky... so if you're riding with a friend, huddle up close because its going to be a bumpy ride!

movie night parties not quite your thing? not to worry, if you prefer a quieter night, the castle grounds will have an outside movie theatre, that will be showing off various muggle horror movies throughout the night. all students are free to bring blankets and snacks, and settle in for a horrific night!

costume party to end off the evening, get your costumes ready and head on down to the dungeons for a raging costume party! a rarity here at mokseong, this party is unsupervised, but prefects and head students are ordered to keep an eye on the students. alcohol will not be served by the school, but students are free to bring any if they so desire. come on down and have some fun, and while professor aurora says no funny business, remember that what she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her!

— SPECIAL TASKS

trick or treat it's not halloween without a little treat! come to the dungeons to grab a mysterious party favor before all the fun begins! nobody knows what are in these suspicious little vials (aside from professor jung of course), but be warned that they are only to be used at the event and nowhere else! any misuse of these potions will automatically earn deductions off their house points! but other than that, have fun! how to participate: members ask a # from 1 to 10 in the msuevents inbox. remember to specify what you’re sending a number for! admins/mod will send back the corresponding potion that matches the number. the potion can either be a hit or a miss which is part of the fun! it is recommended that these potions are used in-event only and have been previously plotted before introduced in threads (so there won’t be any godmodding/awkwardness). the effects of the potions last for one (1) hour in msu time meaning they can only be referenced once in one (1) thread to obtain two (2) additional points so use it wisely!

double, double, toil and trouble ever wanted to utter a ridiculous movie phrase without judgment? now you can! or, well — there may be some judgment, but it’s ok. in this task for an extra two (2) points, you have to pick a number between 1 and 20 and we’ll send you a quote from a famous movie, which your character will have to say in one of your event threads — without letting your writing partner know about it! are you up for the challenge? how to participate: members ask a # from 1 to 20 in the msuevents inbox. remember to specify what you’re sending a number for! admins/mod will send back the corresponding quote that matches the number. you can use this quote in any event thread you want to, but please don’t tell your thread partner about it! we’d love to see some hilarity ensue because of this. the quote can only be used once in one (1) thread to obtain two (2) additional points.

— GENERAL INFO

welcome to our second event here at mokseong! while this event is set to the date of october 31st in game, members will have from october 17th to november 7th to participate in the event. you’re more than welcome to continue other threads as the event goes on, but they can be put on pause if you so desire. keep in mind that event threads will earn your house points, so we highly encourage participating! all posts pertaining to the event should be tagged with msu:mausoleum. if any of you have any event-specific questions, please message the events blog rather than the main, so we can keep everything event-related in once place.

— POINTS SYSTEM

as a reminder from the first event and for the newer members, we’ll go more in depth about the house point system. characters can earn points for the house they represent by participating in the event. if you portray multiple characters, you can’t earn points for both houses they represent by threading on only one of them — both must participate in the event if you wish to earn points for both houses. characters earn one point for each thread related to the event, and one bonus point if this thread is with someone you have not done a thread with before. for example:

dotty does a thread with levi where they go to the haunted house, which gives one point. dotty and levi have not threaded before, which means one additional point will be added. this gives them both a total of two bonus points, which will be added to their total for the event.

please note that full points are only earned if both characters participate in the thread. for starters with no reply, half a point will be awarded to the house of the person writing the starter. for this event, we also have two special tasks that can each award you an additional two bonus points each! at the end of the event, we ask that all members count their total amount of points, and submit this list with links to the threads you’re claiming the points for. we will need the links for proof of the points to be awarded! everyone is responsible for tracking their own points, as us admins do not have time to sit and count points for every single character. if anything is unclear about this system, send the main a message!

[bobdylanrevisited]

Blonde On Blonde

Released: 20 June 1966

Rating: 10/10

The finale of the electric trilogy, another masterpiece that pushes the boundaries of Dylan’s singing and penmanship. He described this album as the closest he’s ever gotten to the noises in his head, a thin mercury sound, metallic and bright gold. It was also the first double sided rock album, and his first without an acoustic track, with Dylan continuing to blaze a trail in popular music. Although this album may not be as ‘deep’ as its predecessors, it’s still a thrilling musical adventure that again makes you forget his folk origins, and embrace his role as the leader of a new style of ‘pop’ song. 

1) Rainy Day Women No. 12 & 35 - The look on people’s faces when the album opened with this must have been one to behold, it sounds nothing like the Bob we know and love. It’s more like a Mardi Gras parade, with trumpets blaring and the band’s joyous screams, all revolving around a pun on the word ‘stoned’. It’s a brilliant opener, both upbeat, funny, and unlike anything that came before it. Whether the song refers to weed, hedonism, his pious status, or the ancient punishment, it’s hard to argue that ‘everybody must get stoned’. 

2) Pledging My Time - A severe change of gear for this track, a much slower blues number, which reworks a number of older blues lyrics, to describe the promise to a lover in the hopes that they will reciprocate the feeling. It’s a fine song, though it does get somewhat lost on the album due to the longevity many of the other tracks have endured. 

3) Visions Of Johanna - Generally agreed to be one of the finest songs ever written, it’s no wonder this has remained one of Dylan’s favourites ever since. It’s a colossal piece, proving that no matter what instruments are on the track, the writing is still the soul of what Dylan is doing. Not only are the vocals among the best he’s ever recorded, the song weaves a vivid picture of his strive for perfection. Much like the previous two albums, Bob uses metaphor and surreal imagery to express personal emotion and you can’t help but hang on his every word. You are transported into a dreamlike state, also searching for Johanna and your own personal idea of flawlessness, though for me that may very well just be this song. 

4) One Of Us Must Know (Sooner Or Later) - A song about the ending of a relationship, which should be a bleak affair, but I can’t help but singalong and grin as I listen to this brilliant tune. Although it dissects and defends bad behaviours that caused the couple to sour, the instrumentation and the rousing chorus are a joy to hear, and it’s easily one of my favourite tracks on the album. 

5) I Want You - At odds with the previous track, this a sweet love song, once again populated my characters and imagery that only Dylan could conjure up. Much like the rest of the album, the tune and melody of this song are remarkably beautiful, and this is certainly Dylan’s most musically ambitious, yet accessible album so far, with this track being another highlight. The song has also been reworked a lot live, and sounds just as beautiful as a ballad, which Dylan played a lot in the late 80s/early 90s. 

6) Stuck Inside Of Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again - I think this may be my favourite song on the album, with apologies to Johanna. Whilst it’s simply just another surreal story with a mad cast of people, I absolutely adore it. Again, the tune is catchy and fun, the singing is perfect, and the whole thing comes together to be a track that fills me with indescribable happiness. The live Hard Rain 1976 version is also phenomenal, it’s impossible for this song to sound anything other than amazing. 

7) Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat - A satire on fashion, and a lover continuing to wear her new hat in increasingly compromising situations, this is another blues song with a great guitar arrangement and sounded brilliant on the 1966 Live tour. It’s not one of my favourites on the album, but it’s a good song that talks of jealousy and materialism, with the bluesy sound being the main attraction. 

8) Just Like A Woman - Potentially written about Edie Sedgwick, this sounds like one of Dylan’s tenderest songs, but the lyrics are actually full of vulnerability and regret. One of Bob’s most popular songs, possibly due to the gentle tune and the grounded imagery, I’ve personally always found it a tiny bit overrated in comparison with the rest of the album, though I understand it is an easy introduction to Dylan for the average listener. However, I will admit that the song is spellbinding when performed live, particularly on the 1966 tour. 

9) Most Likely You Go Your Way And I’ll Go Mine - A very literal tale of a breakup, this is again another song that feels joyous despite the content. The guitars and drums add a very fun layer to the tune, and it’s another track that hasn’t got a deep message, but is just a brilliantly sung rock song that helps make this album the most musically enjoyable yet. 

10) Temporary Like Achilles - Another blues number about a breakup and a new lover. There’s not much to write about this one, other than it’s again a fun tune, this time revolving around a double entendre: ‘honey, why are you so hard?’

11) Absolutely Sweet Marie - This is another catchy tune, and whilst it’s still influenced by the blues, it is more upbeat. Much like the previous track it’s full of innuendo, but it sounds like a ‘pop’ song that you may hear on the radio, with a more restrained style of singing from Bob. It’s another fine song which would be considered more a filler track, if not for the line ‘to live outside the law you must be honest’, which is one of his most quoted lyrics. It shows that even when he’s not telling a mad story or protesting injustice, he’s still the world’s best songwriter and can toss legendary lines into a largely throwaway song. 

12) Fourth Time Around - Written as a response to The Beatles ‘Norwegian Wood’, Dylan uses this dark tale of a lover’s fight to take aim at John Lennon’s ‘new’ style of writing, that sounded an awful lot like it had been stolen from Bob. Musically, it is the same as ‘Norwegian Wood’, with the last line warning ‘I never asked for your crutch, now don’t ask for mine’. Basically, Bob’s telling John not to take his style, whilst also perfectly showing the world that he’s still the best at storytelling and his brand of unique phrasing. This song would haunt John Lennon for some time, as he was paranoid about Dylan’s feelings towards him, but in the end Lennon went in a new direction and Bob remained friends with The Beatles, so any beef seem to be short lived.

13) Obviously Five Believers - Much like previous tracks, another bluesy tune with lyrics about a relationship and wild backing musicians, this is a good little song to dance and singalong with. Robbie Robertson’s guitar playing is particularly impressive on this track, and his playing throughout the whole album is one of the highlights. 

14) Sad Eyed Lady Of The Lowlands - Bob had married Sara Lownds three months earlier, and this 11 minute poem of love, beauty, strength, and heavenly romance is an incredible tribute to her. Though much of the album is filled with sombre lyrics about relationships ending and striving for a perfect woman, the closing track is all about how Bob has found what he has been searching for. It’s a gorgeous song that is not only some of his most heartfelt writing, it’s a uncompromising wedding vow that is full of genuine emotion and is brimming with positivity, something Dylan doesn’t often write about. It’s an incredible conclusion to the album, and to this period of his career. 

Verdict: Once again, my hyperbolic words can’t do this album or career period justice, for a 25 year old to release three culture changing masterpieces in the space of 15 months is unfathomable. Whilst it could seem somewhat ‘sell out’ with the more radio friendly songs, the whole album is just a thrillingly perfect journey through Dylan’s emotions and experiences, relationships ending, searching for meaning, and finally finding happiness. This album once again includes some of the best songs and singing of his entire career, and the overall sound throughout the record is much more mature and composed. Even the tracks that seem a little more filler are still brilliantly written songs that eclipsed the popular music that was being released at the time. The album is my (joint) second favourite thing he’s ever released, and sadly it would be the last of this particular ‘Bob Dylan’, as he was once again about to cocoon and re-emerge a new man. Following a motorcycle accident in 1966, and his settling down with his new wife and children, the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle was about to be abandoned for a more mellow, more relaxed, and more ‘country’ sound. 

[kiapet2]

Chapter 5: It Also Says You Were Adopted. So That's Funny, Too.

Masterpost

Chapter Summary: On families, found and otherwise.

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, Innuendos

“So what’s this about a brother?” you say.

You stop your movement for a moment as a walkway in front of you seems to have given out. The wall on the other side is a portal surface, though, so you make your way across using your portals, carrying Roman and with Virgil holding Logan and Patton following close behind.

Roman sighs. “It’s… complicated. I know AIs don’t really have families, per se, but we were created from the same source, the same… blueprint, I guess, so I’ve just always thought of him that way.”

“Thought of him as family?” you say, something unfamiliar churning in your gut at the word.

“As a brother,” Roman says simply.

“Aw, that’s sweet, Roman!” Patton says. “I think of all of you as my family- we were literally made for each other!”

Your throat tightens a bit and you cough to clear it, trying to seem natural as you do. Thankfully, no one else seems to call you on it, and you walk for a little bit, pausing every now and then to navigate a difficult space with portals and thinking through what Roman said.

“You were made from the same blueprint?” you say curiously. “Like, you’re the same type of Core?”

“In short, yes,” Logan says. “He is the original Creativity Core, made years before Roman.”

You think about that for a moment. “Why would they need two Creativity Cores?”

“They didn’t,” Roman says grimly. “He was corrupted.”

“Right, corrupted,” you say. “That makes sense.”

You walk for a bit more, and then say, “So what does being corrupted mean?”

“It means the Core’s programming goes wrong,” Roman says. “They go off the deep end.”

“In the case of Remus… well, you’ll see,” Logan says. “Suffice to say that there was good reason to remove him from the mainframe.”

You shoot one final portal through a grate, popping out through the other side and waiting for Virgil and the others to follow. In front of you is an old door, which you successfully manage to open, though it requires little more force than you’d expected.

“We’re here,” Roman says as you walk through the doorway and are greeted with a bizarre tableau.

The room is large, the walls and ceiling made from a dark, rough material that you know from experience won’t hold any portals. The walls, floor and ceiling are all littered with dents and holes, and spattered with what looks like orange and blue paint. Pipes run through the room in various places, carrying what looks like the same orange and blue liquids, as well as a third liquid which is a pure white.

That all on its own would be strange enough, but what really catches your eye is the figure moving about the room. It looks like some sort of robot, small and stocky with arms and legs stemming from a spherical body and no head to speak of. The robot is jumping into the colored goo littering the floor and walls, bouncing off the blue patches like they’re trampolines, before it lands in a patch of the orange goo and proceeds to skid twenty feet right into the wall as if on ice. It hits with a loud clatter, rebounds and falls flat on its back into the orange goo.

You hesitantly make your way into the room, avoiding the patches of colored goo.

“Are you-” You trail off as you realize the robot is cackling, trying to make snow angels in the orange goo.

“Fuck me, that stuff is great!” the robot exclaims. “Do you think if I slid really hard into the bouncy stuff it would launch me back against the wall so hard I’d shatter apart?”

You blink in surprise at the question as the robot climbs to its feet. As it does, you realize this isn’t a robot at all, but rather a Core, made of dark metal and nestled in a lighter-colored metal frame with robotic arms and legs. The Core looks more beaten up than any of the others you’ve seen so far, with cracks and dents littering its chassis and with one handle twisted and broken. It- he looks at you with a dark green eye that goes wide with glee.

“Well well well, what do we have here?” he says. “Did you bring me a new pet to play with?”

“Cut it out, doofus” Roman says, rolling his eye. “We need your help.”

“Oh? And what could my perfect little Brother Dearest need from me?”

You step forward. “I need to know how we can remove whoever’s running this facility, and put someone else in his place.”

The Core laughs, high-pitched and wild. “What? Why would I want to do that? He set me up with this sweet body and testing chamber, after all.” He gestures expansively to his surroundings.

“He did?” you say.

“Yup! I used to do the official stuff but apparently it was too ‘unpredictable’ and ‘actively hazardous to Aperture Science Facility equipment,’” the Core says, making actual air-quotes to punctuate the phrases. “So now I mess around here and do whatever I want!”

“Hey, uh, Creativity,” you start with uncertainty, “Can I call you Creativity?”

“Sure,” the Core says. “Or you could just call me by my name- Remus.” He does a little bow of introduction.

“O-oh!” you say, surprised. “I didn’t think you’d want to tell me so fast.”

Remus shrugs. “I’ve to nothing to hide.

“Well then, Remus,” you continue, “I understand that he’s, uh, your friend. But if you don’t help us stop him, he’s going to kill me.”

Remus’ eye widens. “Really? Can I watch?”

Okay, so that didn’t quite work out the way you were hoping. “If you help me and I get killed fighting him, you can watch,” you offer.

“Now that’s tempting,” Remus says, “but not enough to get me to turn on him.”

“Virgil, could you bring me closer please?” Logan says. Virgil sight and does so.

Logan fixes Remus with a steady gaze. “Remus, surely someone as creative as yourself could not be satisfied with just one room, large though it may be. There are a limited number of tests you can attempt here, after all.”

You catch onto where Logan is going with this. “If you help me, maybe whoever’s in charge can set you up with something even better than this. And whatever happens is bound to be an adventure, right?” you add, banking on his potential similarities to Roman.

“Hm, you make some compelling points,” Remus says. “Tell you what- I’ll help you find our illustrious leader, if you solve this puzzle.”

You blink. “Solve this-”

Remus dramatically raises one arm and water pours out of the ceiling, drenching you and washing away every bit of gel in the room. You sputter, wiping wet hair out of your face, and by the time you’ve blinked the last bit of water from your eyes the layout of the room has changed. Where you are standing is surrounded by walls as high as you are tall, all made of dark, non-portal conductive surfaces. Directly above the enclosure is a large tube which is splattering some sort of thick white liquid onto the ground, the excess running into a nearby drain.

“What is that?” you say, eyeing the white substance.

“Moon juice!”

“Moon juice?” you repeat incredulously.

“That’s what it’s made of, so that’s what I call it!”

“I believe the proper term is ‘Conversion Gel,’” Logan says. “It was used in some of the facility’s older puzzles.”

“Eh, tomato/to-mah-to, Moon Juice/Conversion Gel,” Remus says, waving one hand dismissively. “The point is that with that nifty little portal-maker you got there, we can finally mess around with it properly!”

“These walls and floor won’t hold portals, though,” you say, shooting some balls of light at the floor to demonstrate.

“Oh really?” Remus says, eye widening with glee. “Why don’t you try shooting the white stuff, then?”

You give him a skeptical look, but do what he says. The ball of blue light shoots from your gun and spreads into a blue portal on the white gel itself.

You raise an eyebrow at Remus. “The gel is a portal surface? I didn’t think anything that wasn’t solid could be.”

Remus gives you a wiggle back. “Weird, isn’t it? C’mon, mess around with it!”

You look down at the blue portal again. The stream of Conversion Gel is falling directly into it, presumably coming out from wherever you left the orange portal. That doesn’t help you- you need both portals here, but the gel is the only surface around you that will actually hold one. But maybe...

You shoot the orange portal onto the Conversion Gel, right next to the blue, then step back as the gel comes shooting up out of it in huge globs that fall and soak the surrounding area. You shoot the orange portal again onto some of the new area that’s been covered by the gel, moving the stream and causing even more of the previously dark floor to turn white with the gel.

You keep shooting portals in strategic places to expand where the gel hits, coating the walls of the enclosure and then the areas outside of it until the room- and you- are liberally splattered in white, and you are able to shoot the portals where you need in order to launch yourself up to the door.

Remus hops through the Portal behind you. “Fun fact! Moon Juice is also a deadly poison that will kill you if you get it in any of your ortifices!”

“Ah!” you shriek, trying to wipe the Moon J- the Conversion Gel off yourself. “Great! That’s just great! Augh!”

Remus cackles. “Oops, did I forget to mention that? My bad!”

“All right, he did your stupid test,” Virgil growls. “Now tell us how to find and replace that bastard.”

“Wow, Virgie, so vicious!” Remus says flirtatiously. “I like it, got anything for me?”

Virgil makes a disgusted noise and floats a few feet away, and Remus cackles again.

“You did promise to give us your aid once Thomas has completed the test,” Logan says, and Remus waves on hand.

“Oh, don’t get your panties in a twist, Nerd, I’m getting there.”

He leans in as if sharing a secret- which you suppose he is. “There’s an automated program that will scan the system to see if any cores are corrupted, then replace them if they are. It doesn’t run on its own, but if you go to the secondary control center you should be able to start it no problem.”

“Wait, the Core running this place is corrupted?” you say.

Roman snorts. “Of course. Do you think a normal Core would act like this?”

Beside you, Virgil flinches, so briefly you think you might have imagined it.

“We will need to have a Core remain at the secondary Control Chamber to activate the program,” Logan says. “Otherwise it will activate while there is no other Core around to replace him.”

“What about you, Lo?” Patton says. “You’re the smarty-pants here, if anyone could make sure it went alright it would be you.”

“Oh, well, I’m flattered of course,” Logan says, “Though I was rather hoping- never mind. I would be happy to do so.”

You turn to Remus. “Alright, then. Can you lead us to the secondary control center? And then the main one, I guess?”

Remus gives a formal bow, reminding you very strongly of Roman. “Right this way.”

This time when you head out you pick up Patton with the portal gun, while Virgil carries Roman and Logan. He rotates to look at you as you move, using portals to navigate tough areas and following Remus’ rather esoteric instructions.

“You alright, kiddo?” Patton says kindly. “You seemed kinda choked up back there.”

Of course Patton had noticed, and of course he’d waited until you were relatively alone to ask you about it. The thoughtfulness is enough to make you almost choke up again, which is almost annoying at this point.

“I just, uh,” you say, clearing your throat, “the talk about family, made me think about- about how I don’t really know if I have one. Or, well, had one. And where they are now.”

“Oh, kiddo,” Patton says, “no wonder you’re getting emotional. That sounds hard.”

You shrug. “I guess. I don’t really know what I’m missing- I don’t know if that makes it better or worse.”

“I think it makes it different,” Patton says, “and that’s okay.”

You focus on maneuvering through the maze-like back-parts of the facility then, putting the conversation out of your mind in favor of survival. It’s only when you’ve reached the Control Center, and Logan and Roman are debating how best to lock in, when you feel a bump on your arm.

You look up to see Patton giving you that adorable, squinty-eyed smile. You’re sitting on the ground to rest, Patton sat down next to you, and he reaches out with a handle to gently pat you again.

“You can be part of my family too, kiddo,” he says almost shyly. “If you want, that is.”

The tightness in your throat is back. You manage to croak out, “I- I think I’d like that.”

Patton beams. “Well it’s settled then! We’re a family.”

Even as you lock Logan into place and prepare to head up to a confrontation that honestly scares the crap out of you, a little core of warmth remains. We’re a family, Patton had said. Yeah, you think you can accept that.

[penniesforthestorm]

“Release the hounds”: Thoughts On Justified, Season One, Episode Thirteen

As promised, this installment will follow a more familiar ‘review’ style-- if I were doing this for money, I’d write an article for each episode, but I am trying to keep this fun for myself (plus, there’s way more of a chance I’ll actually follow through). I may adjust the format somewhat for the next season. My thoughts on the pilot, episodes 2-5, episodes 6-9, and episodes 10-12 are linked-- drop me a line if you’ve been reading and/or watching along!

The first season of Justified presents two fairly different paths the show could have taken: The first, which might be called The Adventures of Raylan Givens and Friends*, is a classic procedural along the lines of Law & Order, NYPD Blue, or CSI, with serialized elements taking a back burner-- episodes like “Fixer” or “Long in the Tooth” function more or less as standalone entries, and with their witty dialogue and colorful characters, they have a light touch (nefarious drug cartels notwithstanding). The second option is a far more novelistic approach, with the episodes coalescing around the story of Raylan Givens And His Nemesis Boyd Crowder**. It’s a natural expansion of the arc of “Fire in the Hole”, and it’s not hard to see why the show takes that direction, reaching its initial peak in the season finale, “Bulletville”.

Several times in the episode, the phrase “you know me” passes between a set of characters. This theme has popped up throughout the preceding episodes, perhaps most sharply in the case of Raylan’s ex-wife, Winona Hawkins (Natalie Zea). Winona and Raylan (Timothy Olyphant) were married for six years, and it’s telling that, after Raylan shoots his former friend Boyd Crowder (Walton Goggins) in the pilot, she’s the person he runs to see. Winona and Raylan met as adults-- of course, she would know some things about his past, but one gets the sense that, for Raylan, Winona represented the future. Her comment about her current husband Gary representing ‘hope’ is especially cutting, because we’ve come to understand that Raylan hoped (and possibly still hopes) to be the kind of man Winona could respect. For her part, Winona moved on from Raylan because she saw how much of a captive to his past he still was.

As to the past, consider the case of Raylan’s father, Arlo Givens (Raymond J. Barry). In “Bulletville”, Arlo sits down with crime patriarch Bo Crowder (M.C. Gainey), to try and settle the bad blood between them. He offers to play double agent, tying up the various federal agencies pursuing Bo with useless information, while enabling Bo to stay ahead of their inquiries. “You’ve known me for fifty years,” Arlo wheedles. “I’m not sure if that’s supposed to make me trust you more, or less,” Bo retorts. Nevertheless, there is common ground between them: both of them are old men with sons who have failed them, deliberately or otherwise. (The fact that Bo transferred the majority of responsibility for his enterprise to Arlo and not his son Bowman is an interesting detail-- Bowman may not have outright defied his father the way his brother Boyd did, but I can’t help thinking of the similarly hotheaded Sonny Corleone.) Later, when Arlo attempts to set Raylan up, as Bo’s peace offering to the Miami cartel, he starts gently reminiscing about Raylan’s mother, and about his own shortcomings as a parent, which instantly ignites Raylan’s suspicions. Raylan, after all, spent the first twenty years of his life attuning himself to Arlo’s moods. Once Arlo is subdued, however, Raylan still tends to his wounds.

Contrast that with the earlier confrontation between Papa Bo and Boyd, at Boyd’s “church” in the woods. Bo, furious that Boyd has blown up the shipment of ephedrine from Miami, has shown up with an armed posse, including Boyd’s Cousin Johnny (David Meunier). “I can’t hurt my own son,” Bo says, smiling. “Johnny, hurt my son.” Johnny is pissed at Boyd for a different reason-- he tipped Boyd off about the truck’s arrival, hoping that Boyd would kill the drivers, and the two of them would convince Miami that Bo was responsible for the sabotage. Still, after the first few punches, Johnny’s reluctance grows, and when he asks Bo, “You want me to kill him?”, there’s a genuine note of fear in his voice. (I’ll have more to say about Meunier’s performance in future installments-- over the next few seasons, he quietly creates one of the show’s most fascinating characters.) Bo does something much, much worse-- he lets Boyd walk away, and then he and his posse slaughter Boyd’s “flock”.

This act of unfiltered evil sends Boyd into crisis-- upon seeing the corpses of his followers dangling in the trees, Goggins falls to the ground and lets out an anguished roar. That night, after burying the men, he prays in desperation, asking for a sign. As the silence of the dark trees presses on him, he murmurs, “Maybe I’ve just been talking to myself the whole time.” It’s a fine irony that this is the first time we truly understand the depth and sincerity of his former conversion. He shows up at Raylan’s motel room, stammering, “I am lost.” Without his followers, without whatever impulse was guiding him before, Boyd is compelled to find someone who knows him.

So he and Raylan ride off together to confront Bo, who has, in the intervening hours, kidnapped Ava and shot Johnny. They converge on Bo’s hunting cabin, where Bo hoped to draw Raylan in order to hand him off to Miami. Boyd discovers Ava, bound but unharmed, while Raylan parlays with Bo. The Miami contingent has other ideas-- a sniper takes out Bo, and Ernesto and Pilar, who drove the ephedrine truck, open fire. There’s some great banter as Raylan, Boyd, and Ava take cover in the cabin-- Raylan asks Boyd if he’s brought his rocket launcher, and Boyd ruefully responds, “I didn’t think to pack one.” Pilar calls for Raylan, and he answers, only to have Boyd shout, “No, I’m Raylan Givens!” (Raylan: “Are you trying to be funny?” Boyd: “A little.”) The standoff ends with Ava free, Ernesto dead, and Boyd in pursuit of Pilar. Boyd asks if Raylan will shoot to stop him, saying he’s pretty sure Raylan’s pistol is empty. “You gonna bet your life on that?” Raylan asks. “No, Raylan,” Boyd answers, “I’m gonna bet my life on you being the only friend I have left in this world.” They know each other, having faced death together several times and walked away alive.

* I know this is a horrendous title. I’m sorry. ** why yes, I did just re-watch The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford; why do you ask?

[bestworstcase]

farran rewatches tangled: before ever after, pt 1

(01:50-05:00)

i’ve been wanting to do a full, start-to-finish episode-by-episode rewatch of the series for a good long while now with a focus on just... picking apart every episode to see what there is to see and well. i somewhat optimistically planned to do one post per episode but i... i was a fool. 

as a set of... basic guiding principles here i 1) am going to evaluate the text of each episode on its own merits, 2) without taking into account authorial intent  or extratextual creator statements, and 3) yeeting the phrase “it’s a disney princess cartoon, it isn’t that deep” out of my brain.*

(*except in the case of Cartoon Physics, which must simply be accepted in the same way that the existence of unbreakable magical hair is accepted.)

the first thing i want to talk about with before ever after is the way it establishes the characters of rapunzel and eugene and how it sets up the development of the new dream relationship for the rest of the show during the introductory sequence. 

before ever after does this thing a couple of times where it frames a character or scenario in such a way as to lead the viewer to expect one thing, only to reveal more information or additional context that significantly shifts our understanding. and these are interesting moments to examine, because of what they can say subtextually about the characters involved. 

consider the opening.

once the introductory narration is done, we’re thrown into a chase scene that is structured to trick us into thinking that the stakes are much higher than they truly are—the tense, dramatic scoring, in particular, prime the viewer to assume that the situation is serious.

look at this establishing shot. it grounds us in a location—we can see corona in the background—and sets a specific mood. rapunzel, eugene, max, and fidella all look serious and determined; meanwhile their pursuers are obscured in shadow, making them appear far more threatening than they really are. 

rapunzel’s seemingly genuine fear of being caught (“they’re gaining on us!” and “there’s more of them!”) strengthens this first impression, as does the fact that the pursuers continue to be obscured in shadow even when they, realistically speaking, shouldn’t be, as in this shot where the pursuing guards are galloping in full sunlight but still too darkly lit (and distant) for us to make out any identifying details: 

but now that we’ve had a few seconds for this impression to “set,” the show begins to dismantle it. rapunzel and eugene exchange a little playful banter, part ways, rapunzel glances back over her shoulder, and...

for the first time, we get a good look at one of their pursuers—and it’s a coronan guard. at this point, the tone of the chase shifts; the score becomes less tense and more adventuresome, beats of comedy are introduced with eugene’s log jump and rapunzel’s bunny crossing, and we end on this shot:

a bright, welcoming meadow opening up out of the more rugged / forested terrain of the chase. rapunzel gallops on into the nice-looking wilderness beyond, while eugene turns around to get in a last, witty one-liner in.

now on the one hand... this is a fun way to ease us into the action of the story with an attention-grabbing but low-stakes chase sequence, while establishing the playful dynamic in the new dream relationship. but! i argue that this whole chase scene, and the subsequent scene with rapunzel and eugene on the wall, is in fact a microcosm of the core conflict within the new dream relationship: to wit, that eugene is content and ready to settle down, rapunzel very much is not, and they are not yet ready to reconcile that difference with each other. 

how so? well,

#1: the shifting of the viewer’s understanding of this chase reflects both sides of the new dream perspective on palace life. 

in rapunzel’s view, being corona’s princess—a role here represented by the royal guard—is a frightening, suffocating job, one she struggles to reconcile with and longs to escape. her distress at the idea of being “captured” before they reach the wall—and having to return to the palace for the welcoming ceremony, as we learn shortly—is real, not because the guards pose a real threat but because she’s running away from them to get a break from the princess responsibilities that are drowning her.

eugene, on the other hand, is having a grand time. he banters, he grins, he mocks his pursuing guards, because to him, there are no stakes here. he enjoys living in the palace with no more bounties or convictions hanging* over his head, and he’s more interested in pausing to crack a joke at the captain’s expense than in winning the race to the outer wall—which in rapunzel’s mind is a representation of freedom. 

(*heh.)

so as viewers, the first impression we’re given of this chase scene is more in line with what rapunzel is feeling, and then shifts to reveal eugene’s perspective, which is more in line with objective reality (they’re racing the guardsmen to the outer wall, and nobody is going to get hurt) rather than rapunzel’s internal feelings (of fleeing to escape the intense pressure on her shoulders, even just for a little while). 

#2: and this, in turn, shows us precisely how far apart rapunzel’s feelings and eugene’s feelings about their present situation are. 

these are two people who love each other very much but are on completely different planets emotionally. eugene is content and relaxed, rapunzel is antsy and stressed out. they get along on a superficial level and enjoy each other’s company, but there is a huge disconnect lurking just beneath the surface that neither of them is yet aware of. 

the scene on the wall drives this message home.

we see the pure delight on rapunzel’s face when she reaches the wall...

...which intensifies as she climbs onto it and sees what waits for her on the other side...

...and the camera swings around to show us this gorgeous view of a lush, vibrant landscape pulling us into the sunrise. rapunzel heaves a longing sigh and tension falls out of her shoulders as she soaks in the view. 

this moment evokes the same mood as rapunzel’s early scenes in tangled, when she looks out of her tower window at the beautiful world outside. 

notice even the echoes of the tower landscape in the landscape outside of corona in the series: the lines of the cliffs on the left side of both shots are the same, and the colors of the wildflowers in the series landscape echo the colors of the flowers kept on the windowsill of rapunzel’s tower (here’s a better screencap of those, for comparison’s sake:)

anyway, the point of all this is to establish that rapunzel, despite having been freed from her tower, still feels trapped in her present circumstances. seeing the lanterns and finding her true family didn’t cure her restlessness but has instead intensified her wanderlust, and she once again finds herself in the position of sitting inside a wall and staring out at the world she isn’t allowed to explore.

the key difference in the series is that, where eugene’s role in the film was to help rapunzel escape her tower and seek out her dreams in the wider world...

...in the series, he has become an anchor tethering rapunzel to her life in the palace, and we see this illustrated symbolically when his interruption is what pulls rapunzel away from the view beyond the walls. 

now, this is a wonderful shift, because it doesn’t grow out of any arbitrary or out-of-character behavior in eugene but is, rather, an artifact of their changed circumstances. eugene still values rapunzel’s freedom and happiness just as much as he did in the film, but he’s oblivious to how stifled and trapped rapunzel feels within the coronan walls, and he’s oblivious because, a) rapunzel hasn’t told him, and b) he’s having a great time living in the lap of luxury with zero responsibilities, and c) that blinds him to the amount of pressure that is being put on rapunzel’s shoulders. he isn’t in tune with what rapunzel is feeling or why, and that damages his ability to act as a source of support for her in this stressful transitional time in her life.

this is the core conflict of their relationship, not just in before ever after, but over the course of the entire show. which is brilliant! it is so realistic for somebody like eugene—a 23-year-old man who has lived an exciting, adventurous life while cultivating a self-absorbed, devil-may-care attitude and is now ready to settle down and live a nice, peaceful, happily-boring married life with the woman he loves—to have this kind of incompatibility with somebody like rapunzel—an 18-year-old woman who has been sheltered and abused her entire life and who is only just beginning to figure out who she is and what she wants and is absolutely not ready to settle down and spend the rest of her life staying put and doing the same things every single day. they’re at completely different stages of their lives! of course there’s a tremendous gap between their expectations and desires within the context of their relationship and of course this causes problems as soon as this mismatch in priorities rises to the surface!

as a final note, as this scene on the wall wraps up, it introduces something that is... something of a recurring theme in before ever after, namely that things keep interrupting new dream kisses before they can happen.

in this case, it’s the captain—having caught up with rapunzel and eugene—telling them their little game is over and that it’s time for rapunzel to hustle back to the palace so she won’t miss the welcoming ceremony. this is another important beat in establishing the basic interpersonal conflict here; it’s not just that the kiss is interrupted, but that the kiss is interrupted by a manifestation of the strict requirements of rapunzel’s role as princess, which at the end of the day is what’s pulling rapunzel and eugene apart. i will talk about this more once i get to the proposal, but suffice it to say for now that the very same force that is stifling rapunzel and making her long for escape is what ruins this little romantic new dream moment, and that gets directly at the core of the conflict here. 

rapunzel has all these factors weighing her down and making her uncomfortable in her position inside corona, and none of them have anything to do with eugene, but they still create this stress on her relationship with eugene, because—due to his own comfort, his own readiness to settle down, and his current lack of empathy for rapunzel’s situation*—he’s blind to how unhappy rapunzel is in their current situation, and that makes hamstrings his ability to provide the emotional support she needs right now. 

(*something i will talk about more in my next segment; for now, the tl;dr here is even though eugene loves rapunzel deeply, and even though she drastically changed his outlook on life in a matter of days, it takes much longer for habits of personality to change, and in before ever after eugene is still very deeply entrenched in his self-absorbed flynn rider persona. the core of his character growth over the course of the series is his journey of growing out of that persona as he becomes more emotionally open and less content to laze about enjoying his luxuries every day.)

TO CONCLUDE: i love the opening sequence of before ever after because it is a microcosm of the interpersonal conflict within the new dream relationship. it establishes very neatly and succinctly that the love rapunzel and eugene have for each other, though genuine and deep, is not enough, and that they have serious work to do in bridging the gaps between them in order for the relationship to become lasting and strong. the journey of new dream over the course of the series is one from this starting position of fragility and miscommunication hidden just beneath the surface to the end point of two people who are in tune with each other and understand each other perfectly, and all of that is built on the foundation set down in these first few minutes of the very first episode. 

[theeasterlymedia]

A Normative Discussion on Andrei Rublev

Meghnad Mukherjee 

While watching Rublev, I couldn’t help but think about Béla Tarr and his The Turin Horse. Tarr developed his distinctive style over time, and so one should presume Rublev was a stage in Tarkovsky’s development towards perfecting his almost magical cinematic philosophy that we admire today. In this essay we will be discussing only some of the scenes (and a short general discussion) of this three hours long masterpiece otherwise the obvious following rant would not have stopped.

Holiday, 1408, June

The scene opens with the greatest of all Russian Icon painters Andrei Rublev and his crew of apprentices and helpers on their way to a job in the once-powerful feudal fortress city Vladimir in June of 1408. It is probably the evening of June 23, St. John the Baptist Eve, which falls immediately after summer solstice, the end of spring. The Kliaz'ma River rises north of Moscow, flows between Moscow and the Trinity-St. Sergius Monastery and eastward past Vladimir.

Gathering firewood, Andrei gets caught up in a village pagan ritual. We should notice the sounds of nightingales and of ritual bell percussion.Some would say he seeks a way to join his high spiritual calling and art to the real soil of Russian folk experience, his "civilization" to his "culture". One way to describe the linkage of Christian "civilization" with Russian pagan "culture" is dual faith. Andrei is about to have a "dual faith" experience himself, and so are you if you let the film have its way.The making of a straw effigy and the burning of it are documented features of peasant ritual on St. John's Eve. The sexual license portrayed here is characteristic of peasant spring and summer rituals. Andrei stands over a smoldering camp fire and his monkish robes catch fire. Fire and water are central to the pagan rituals of St. John's Eve (they are also central to Tarkovsky's own personal film imagery). The men and women are performing a characteristic ritual of St. John's Eve. Also don't miss the scene downstream from the two lines of naked folk---a white horse comes into view and begins to thrash the river's surface as the ritual boat approaches.

Andrei is captured and bound in a stable by villagers who do not want him to interfere with their dear ritual. Marfa approaches him and plants an earthly kiss: physical contact of native paganism with highly refined and civilized Christianity. Notice the necklace she wears. Also notice how Andrei sheds his monkish cowl (identifying "uniform" of the black or monkish clergy) as he decides to melt into the woods and rejoin the village fest. As the next morning follows someone has squealed on the village revelers. The local landlord and his ruffian men-at-arms on horseback appear, accompanied by clerical enforcers, all bent on doing their official Christian duty. They hope to run down participants in last night's ritual. Sure enough, here comes Marfa and her significant other, chased by authorities. He doesn't get away, but she swims toward the middle of the river, immediately past the boat carrying Andrei, but he will not look at her. She splashes bravely out to deep waters.

Raid, autumn, 1408

Now we jump ahead a few weeks to the fall of 1408 and the outskirts of the city Vladimir. This army is led by a Russian prince who is a rival of his own brother for power in Vladimir. A tatar Khan’s army and his one will join up at a difficult river ford in preparation for an attack on Vladimir. As the two armies link up, the Khan and the Russian prince vie with one another to see who is faster. The Russian prince recalls an event in the previous winter in which the church tried to reconcile him with his rival brother. The wintry church is the great in Vladimir, built in 1194-1197. You can just barely make out the remarkable animal, vegetable and human figures carved in relief in the white stone outer walls of this ancient cathedral. These figures are taken to be themselves representatives of the combination of old pre-Christian "Scythian" motifs with Biblical themes.

Two times later in this section of the film, the Russian prince flashes back to this treacherous "kissing of the cross" which he and his Tatar ally are now about to betray. The second flashback occurs as the Russian prince witnesses the Tatar humiliation of the captured prince's brother and family and receives from the Tatars the vestments of the now deposed brother's power. The sounds of the Orthodox mass can be heard again, now in the courtyard as the Tatar khan nervously walks his war horse back and forth in anticipation of breaking into the church. A dying horse comes down a stairway and falls to the ground, bleeding to death. This is a disturbing and powerful scene. We may be more touched by this cruel death than by all the other film portrayals of human death. As the horse stumbles to its death, from the church we hear the most characteristic phrases from the Russian mass: Hospodi, pomilui, Hospodi, pomilui... [Lord, have mercy, Lord, have mercy...].

Soon, we see inside the cathedral being rammed by the Tatar army.We spy Andrei again. He is with a young blond woman. The actress is Tarkovsky's wife, and she is playing a paradigmatic Russian cultural role: the holy fool. She is a "durochka", not able to take care of herself, but in her naive simplicity representing something very dear to Russian tradition. Andrei has made himself her protector in earlier scenes, and now they are trapped together as the cathedral door breaks open. What a scene, as the Tatar khan paces his horse around inside the cathedral, asking the Russian prince taunting questions about the holy images on the walls, most now burning. The brave and defiant Foma is tortured, molten lead is poured into his mouth, and he is dragged to his death by a stallion stampeded through the devastated streets of Vladimir.The traitorous prince is beset with deep misgivings about this destructive adventure. Large white geese float from cathedral rooftops to the disordered streets below, all in slow motion. Andrei and Durochka are still in the church and try to come to terms with what has just transpired.

Tatar's Wife

The final scene I have selected is four years later, the winter of 1412. It is a hard winter, and famine stalks the land. Andrei is heating large stones and trying to transfer them to wooden casks to heat water. Durochka is eating an old apple. The Tatar khan rides into the monastery with several of his warriors. They are in a playful mood. The khan feeds frozen meat to quarrelsome dogs. Durochka wants some too. What follows is one of the most intriguing "falling-in-love" scenes in all of filmdom. Andrei tries to intervene, but this situation is beyond his or just about any imaginable power to change. As the khan sweeps Durochka up behind his saddle and he and his warriors gallop out of the monastery courtyard through a roofed gateway, our time is up.

Some commentary or rather a casual discussion --

Tarkovsky created a film about faith in a time when there were no films about religion, apart from satire or anti-religion propaganda. At the same time, people who were religious have tended to view film as a profane medium, inappropriate for religious topics. Andrei Rublev was a 15th-century monk regarded as Russia’s greatest icon writer. While his work is well known and celebrated throughout Russia, little is known of his life except for the handful of icons he left behind. Tarkovsky invented life for Rublev. It is then not an investigation into the painter’s life, but Tarkovsky’s response to what the filmmaker saw and felt by looking at Rublev’s icons.

Moving through ‘a sequence of detailed fragments’ in which Rublev is sometimes present, sometimes only an observer, the film works toward difficult questions: how is experience related, and how can it be communicated? How can art be true to its subject and its audience?How do you paint the trinity without just reducing it to the sum of its parts?

At once humble and cosmic, Rublev was described by Tarkovsky as a “film of the earth.” Shot in widescreen and sharply defined black and white, the movie is supremely tactile—the four classical elements appearing here as mist, mud, guttering candles, and snow. A 360-degree pan around a primitive stable conveys the wonder of existence. Such long, sinuous takes are like expressionist brushstrokes; the result is a kind of narrative impasto.The film’s brilliant, never-explained prologue shows some medieval Icarus braving an angry crowd to storm the heavens. Having climbed a church tower, he takes flight in a primitive hot-air balloon—an exhilarating panorama—before crashing to earth. Fifteenth century Russia was a tumultuous country, never really at peace, and Tarkovsky shows this in particular in the latter half of the film. The theme of conscience is present throughout the film.Tarkovsky plays here with sound and silence, almost deafening silence.

Shooting the entire movie in black and white, Tarkovsky finally dazzles the audience with close-ups of Rublev’s works, revealed for the first time during the movie in all their brilliance and colour. After more than two hours of sombre and austere imagery, the beauty of the frescoes amazes the viewers. The art, born from the endeavours and aspirations of the artist, is presented to the audience in all its grandeur, rising over the everyday like the man on the balloon at the beginning of the movie. This universal quality of the artist and his work makes the historical period irrelevant, performing a spiritual sweep, casting an ethereal spell on the audience.

Andrei Rublev is itself more an icon than a movie about an icon painter. (Perhaps it should be seen as a “moving icon”) This is a portrait of an artist in which no one lifts a brush. The patterns are God’s, whether seen in a close-up of spilled paint swirling into pond water or the clods of dirt Rublev flings against a whitewashed wall. But no movie has ever attached greater significance to the artist’s role. It is as though Rublev’s presence justifies creation.

[hoffkk]

Fake Date, Real Kiss

A Brightwell Fanfic

Story By: @hoffkk

Prompt: Gimme a question and I’ll give you a brightwell kiss!

Question given: Feta or goat cheese for your salad?

**********

"Feta or goat cheese for your salad?" asked the chipper waitress.

"Feta is fine." Malcolm smiled.

"All righty, I'll go put in your orders." she smiled back then made her way over to the kitchen entrance.

He gave a nod in return then glanced at Dani sitting across from him. It was strange seeing her all dressed up in a black cocktail dress with full make up and side swept hair. She looked beautiful, then again, she always did to Malcolm. Although, she usually fell in the beautiful without really trying category. Tonight, however, she was in the undercover and glamorous category. Technically, they both were. They were on a fake date at the upscale restaurant Scarpotto's. A restaurant known for its delectable tiramisu, and, to the rich and immoral, as a front for selling drugs. Let's just say that if you tip well, you get one hell of a doggy bag. The team decided to set up a sting in order to find proof of the drugs and, hopefully, of the murder of the restaurant's hostess.

So, there they sat, drinking wine and enjoying some fine dining, like just another posh couple relishing a night out in the big city.

"So, is this how you typically treat a girl on date?" Dani probed. "You know, with a fancy restaurant and expensive wine."

"No." Malcolm smirked. "I don't have a typical date. To have a typical date, I'd have to actually date."

"You date." She told him knowingly.

"Well, obviously, I dated Eve." He agreed. "And there may have been one or two other casual affairs over the years, but I've never dated consistently."

"I'm guessing being the son of a serial killer put a damper on your dating life." Dani noted, only half-teasing.

"Something like that." Malcolm nodded. "What about you? What's your typical date night look like?"

She thought for a moment then said, "Probably, beer, take-out, and a movie."

"That sounds... boring." He told her. "I thought you'd do something more adventurous."

"Yeah, well, you know how exhausting the job can be." Dani explained. "After working long days, it's nice to have a chill night."

"You mean it's easier." Malcolm corrected.

"Tomato, tomahto," She retorted. "but for the record, I did go on more fun dates every once in a while. However, I can undoubtedly say that I've never been on a date like this."

"Did go? As in, you don't date anymore?" He inquired.

"Not for a while, no." Dani replied. "Work keeps me busy."

"Interesting." Malcolm muttered before taking a sip of wine.

"What?" She quirked a brow.

"You use work as an excuse for not dating," He shared his observation. "but there are plenty of cops who find the right balance and make it work. Just look at JT, he's married with a baby on the way."

"Well, I'm not JT." Dani asserted.

"No, you most certainly are not." Malcolm retorted, giving her another onceover.

She bit back a pleased smile at his response then said, "but you're right. I do use it as an excuse."

He pushed on, "Care to elaborate?"

Dani took a long swig from her glass before replying, "I told you before that I have trust issues. Part of the reason why is that the last couple of guys I've dated turned out to be jerks. One lied about who he was, one tried to control me, and another cheated on me. After the last relationship failed miserably, I decided dating just wasn't worth the trouble. In fact, it's been over a year since my last real date."

"Wow." Malcolm responded. "I'm sorry... about the jerks, I mean."

She just gave a shrug while playing with her napkin on her lap.

"So, you're just never going to date again?" He queried, trying to hide his disappointment.

"I wouldn't say that." Dani amended. "I mean, I'd consider dating again, but the guy would have to be worth it. Very worth it."

"As he should be." Malcolm nodded then lifted his glass and toasted, "To the one who's worth it."

"To the one." She reiterated, clanking her wine against his.

Before they could go on, the waitress was back with their salads. For the next hour, they ate, talked, and laughed. It was a pretty great non-date overall except for Arroyo and JT listening in from a van across the street, and of course the buying drugs thing, which was going exactly according to plan. Malcolm ate his meal then precisely half of his dessert before turning his communication device on for the guys to hear him speak the code phrase to the manager who came to check on their dining experience.

"How was your meal this evening?" The smarmy manager asked in false politeness.

"Perfectly palatable." Malcolm spoke smoothly. "but I'll need to take my dessert to go."

"Very well." He nodded and grabbed the plate of half eaten cake. "I'll take care of it personally."

Malcolm gave an appreciative nod in return and watched the man disappear into the back.

Dani took a sip of her water to cover a whisper into her own com device and said, "Manager's on the move. Stand by."

A moment later, the manager returned with a medium-sized white paper bag that had the restaurant's name on it in golden script. The top was folded over to seal its contents inside. Setting it on the table, the manager spoke, "Your dessert, sir."

Malcolm casually handed over a rolled up wad of cash to the man via handshake as he thanked him for his service. He then stood to help Dani onto her feet and into her shawl. Making his way out the door of the restaurant with Dani in one arm and the doggy bag in the other, something bothered Malcolm.

"Are you okay?" Dani asked, noticing his perplexed expression.

"Did that seem too easy to you?" He wondered aloud.

"We had a solid plan and followed instructions. It was supposed to be easy." Dani told him. "Stop over analyzing things."

"You're right." He relented as he waited for the signal to cross the street, so they could hand off the evidence to Gil. That's when they both heard a loud click and immediately turned to look at the take out bag. After exchanging a glance with Dani, Malcolm opened the bag and retrieved the black plastic container inside. It was supposed to hold the drugs. However, peering inside, his eyes went wide as Malcolm saw a small timer with a red blinking light and thin wires surrounding it. Closing the box quickly but carefully, he yelled, "Bomb!" The pedestrians near them screamed and fled for safety, while Malcolm tried to figure out what to do. There was an alley nearby he could toss it in, but there could be somebody back there, and it would probably take too long to get it back there anyway. There seemed to be no good option and only seconds left to react.

"Malcolm! The garbage can!" Dani shouted, pointing over his shoulder.

He hurried over to the metal bin, threw it in, covered it back up with the lid and made a run for it. "GET DOWN!" He screamed, knowing it would go off any second. Jumping through the air, he tackled Dani to the ground and shielded her with his own body as a loud explosion erupted behind him, flinging garbage and debris everywhere.

Malcolm and Dani didn't move for a long moment as they stared into each other's eyes deeply and held onto each other for dear life. Her heart was racing and she was breathing heavily, but she managed to blurt out, "Malcolm, are you okay?"

"Are you okay?" He panted back. When she nodded, Malcolm finished, "Then, yeah, I'm okay."

Just then, Arroyo and JT made their way over and hoisted Malcolm up off of Dani and onto his feet. After helping Dani up next and making sure they were both okay, a million questions ensued. A little while later, after being checked out by paramedics, Gil sent the two of them home, figuring they had been through enough for one night, and he and JT could wrap things up themselves at the scene. Agreeing to leave, Malcolm hailed a cab for him and Dani. He had the cabby take them to Dani's place first, wanting to make sure she got home safe. Once they arrived at her building, he told the driver to wait while he escorted Dani inside, up three flights of stairs, and to her door.

It had been silent for the entire walk until the end when Dani turned to face him and said, "Thank you for walking me home. It was very chivalrous of you."

"You're welcome." Malcolm smiled timidly then added, "You know, tonight was fun... I mean, right up until we almost died in an explosion."

Dani's lips quirked upward as she replied, "Yeah, it was."

"Maybe..." He started then quickly cut himself off.

"Maybe what?" She probed curiously.

Taking a deep breath, Malcolm pushed forward, knowing that if he learned anything from tonight, it was that you have to make the most of the present because you never know what will happen in the future. So, he continued his thought and said, "Maybe we could do it again sometime?"

"You mean, without explosions, drug dealers, and the guys listening in on us?" Dani quipped.

"Yeah, just you and me... and maybe some beer and take out." Malcolm clarified with a knowing twinkle in his eye.

Biting her lip, she stared into that sanguine sapphire gaze of his and thought for a moment. Breaking into a smirk, she finally answered, "Yeah, I'd like that.

"Really? I-I mean, good. Me too." He fumbled. "So, I'll call you, or you can call me if you want."

"Well, we'll see each other tomorrow." Dani reminded. "We've got a case to solve remember?"

"Right, the case." Malcolm nodded. "We will take care of that first, then I'll call you."

"Sounds like a plan." She told him.

"Not a plan. A date." He corrected, finally saying the word aloud.

"Yeah, a date." Dani agreed with a grin then turned to unlock her door. Opening it a crack, she paused, turned, and called out, "Malcolm?"

He had just turned to leave, but turned right back around at her voice and replied, "Yeah?"

Crossing the distance as rapidly as she could in her stiletto heels, Dani pressed her hands against his chest and kissed him tenderly. Pulling back after a brief moment, she whispered, "Thanks for protecting me tonight."

Astonished by her actions, Malcolm didn't have time to say or do anything before she sauntered back toward her apartment. It wasn't until Dani was inside that he touched his tingling lips and mumbled, "You're welcome." Then, turning once more, he headed back down to the cab with a goofy smile on his face and a spring in his step.

[seekflooring]

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[theartofbeinganeldar]

The Art of Being an Eldar: Legolas x Reader Chapter 4

Summary: After discovering that you were stuck in the fantasy world you had no recollection of, your memory was jogged after weeks of depression: this land was Middle-Earth. A council of wizards and Elves was summoned, and Thranduil expressed his wishes of wanting you gone. Elrond agreed to take you in and Gandalf was excited to share in his adventures with someone who knew nothing of the world, quite like a Hobbit, but you wanted to stay in Mirkwood, with Legolas and Tauriel, of which you'd made friends with. Legolas leaves in three days to locate the orcs who enroach upon Mirkwood's northern flank, and the council sees this as a chance for you to prove your worth. If you fail, you are to leave Mirkwood...

Chapter No.: Chapter 4

Key: [Y/N]=Your Name [F/N]= Friend's Name [B/N]= Bro's Name [S/N]= Sis's Name [M/N]= Mom's Name [e/c]= eye color [h/c]= hair color [s/c]= skin color

Notes: I want to thank all my readers for their feedback, likes, and reblogs! I'm only on Chapter 4 and all of you combined have made me feel really good about my writing. I've gotta admit, I was a little scared of going through with this multi-chapter fic at first, because while a few people really liked and enjoyed my stories on DeviantArt, they never got the reception The Art of Being an Eldar has. I just thought my writing sucked for the most part. Thank you all so much!

Warnings: Fluff, angst, graphic depictions of gore and violence (Cuz of orc battles y'know?), more angst, slow burn, some light depression in the first few chapters, some amnesia about Middle-Earth because the Valar say you're not supposed to have foresight, hard-core language, feels, lots and lots of feels, mentions of NSFW content, maybe some eventual NSFW content, LGTBQ+ characters, Thranduil being a jackass at first because he's fabulous, Legolas being a hot edgy prince that nobody can handle, Kili being an innocent bean, Hobbits being smol innocent beans, except for Bilbo 'cause he's been through some tough shit, Bard being dad of the year, Thorin being one dumbass boi, The fucking Silmarillion, awesome dragons, awesome Nazgul, awesome scenery, awesome stuff in general, Elrond isn't listened to by anybody, confused Aragorn is confused,  Denethor's a bitch as always, brace yourself for creepy as fuck Cream of Wormtongue Grima Wormtongue, Boromir lives, Gandalf. (yes these are all legit warnings don't judge me.)

Pairings/Ships: Legolas x Reader, Legolas x you, Aragorn x Arwen, Faramir x Eowyn, Thranduil x Elvenqueen, Galadriel x Celery Celeborn, Boromir x OC, Thorin x OC, Fili x OC, etc. general LoTR standard shippings plus some of my own cuz I can't stand my boys being lonely

Word Count: I try to keep my chapters short, under 2000 words. Rating: Teen (14+) for now

"You what?"

Apparently Leggy didn't comprehend the concept of being accompanied by a suddenly Elvish human from another dimension.

With a sigh and a roll of your eyes, you repeated, "I said, I'm coming with you when you leave for your orc-hunting mission."

Legolas narrowed his eyes. "And who gave you permission to do this?"

"The council, that's who. So suck it up buttercup, I'm coming with your sorry ass."

Legolas rolled his eyes. "Very well. Tell me, aside from randomly swinging a sword, do you know anything about weaponry?"

You raised an eyebrow. Shit, you'd have to fight? "No, but I can say a mouthful of greetings in Elvish."

Legolas raised an eyebrow. "Nin ista, Sairen, but words are not mightier than fighting skill in battle."

You scoffed. "I can think of a pretty famous phrase from my world that totally contradicts that..."

Legolas shook his head as he sauntered past you, down the stairs of the bridge you'd found him on. The sounds of his bows and knife sheaths clanking together as he walked relaxed you. "Of course you do, mellon." He paused to look at you. "Are you not coming? We leave in three days. If you are intent on coming with me, surely you cannot believe I will let you go without even so much as learning the proper way to stab an opponent?"

You made a face, but followed him anyway. "I know how to stab."

"How, then?" He gestured to you pointedly and crossed his arms.

"Um..." You mimed the gesture you'd probably use while stabbing an orc in the guts. "Like... This? With a twist?"

"That may work if your enemy has the weak skin and flesh of a human, or even on an Elf," He pointed out, "But we are fighting orcs, Sairen. Their hide is as thick as that of a boar, and their flesh is equally so." With a flourish, he flipped out one of his long knives. He paused in handing it to you. "I am not letting you keep this, mellon. My mother gave them to me."

You froze in reaching for the weapon. "You have a mother?"

Legolas chuckled at your wide-eyed expression. "You thought I did not?"

You stiffened before hurriedly turning away. "No! Of course not! Why would you think that?!"

Legolas laughed as he followed you. "Well, I do have one. She has been away on the other end of the palace-city. I should introduce you to her."

"Is she as fabulous as your dad?" You ran the tip of your index finger along your eyebrows. "And maybe even with the same super dark eyebrows?"

Legolas smiled. "No, no. She is perfectly beautiful."

"So you're saying your dad's not?"

"What?"

"Nothing." You waved a hand. "Where's the training grounds again?"

Legolas grinned evilly. "Well, your training begins now, Sairen. See if you can actually get to said training grounds without killing yourself on that blade."

Your jaw fell. "Are you fucking kidding me?! That's child's play! Don't you think I already know how to not do that?!"

"That is a double negative sentence, but no, I do not believe you already know this skill." Blue-Eyes shot you another grin. "Besides, we are not taking the average path to the training grounds. They are outside of the palace, after all. We will go out and around, on the hardest path imaginable. For a human, they would be entirely impassable."

You stared up at him dumbly. "Uh... Do... Do you even realize I spent the last nineteen years of my life around people with the mindset of shit water I might die because I'm a-- I was a-- human? Also, I was never agile. I won't be able to make it over a log, if it's big enough."

Blue-Eyes gave you a disapproving look. "Do the humans of your world never traverse nature?"

You pretended to think about that

"Hm... Let me see... Uhm... Yeah, nope, pretty much never, unless you're one of those super outdoorsey kinds of people, and the true ones of those are rare. For instance, most usually wear really tight clothes and walk through parks with stone paths and everything primped to perfect condition so that nobody even gets grazed by a dandelion, and everything's sprayed to keep the bugs away and animals are limited to squirrels and bunnies, then they wanna act like they just walked the fuckin' Sahara Desert without water. Real outdoor people are rare. Steve Irwin? Real. Bear Grylls? Real. Josh Gates? Real. Hell, when I was a very tiny little girl I used to watch a kid's show with two brothers who pretty much lived in the jungle. But out of everybody, those are the ones I can think of right off the top of my head. Them, and the few tribal races still out there."

Blue-Eyes made a surprised face. "Well... I am glad you got a chance to experience what real life is like."

"Thank you, Blue-Eyes." You'd reached the front gates of the palace, which were opened by a couple of those ninja Elf guys. You and Legolas walked on through, and into the forest, with its pink and amber leaves, down here, nullified into black and gray, piling up in the muck of the forest floor.

You'd been surprised when you'd seen this part of Mirkwood. Apparently, only the northern half was unaffected, but the rest of the once-spectacular Greenwood the Great was now victim to a strange plague, orc attacks from the north, and giant spider infestations from the south, from an ancient ruin called Dol Goldur. Animals no longer lived here, the rivers had mostly gone thick with filth, and the trees rotted and groaned in agony. The forest would confuse you, threaten to swallow you up and make you lose your way...

If you weren't an Elf.

Luckily for you and ol' Leggy, the two of you were Elves, and he had been raised here. If you stuck close to him, you'd be fine, even if the forest did manage to confuse you. He could hardly remember a time when the slow-acting plague hadn't been part of some region of the forest, and Tauriel had told you that he was 2, 371 years old. That was a long time for a forest to be sick.

"What even caused Mirkwood to get sick? Do you even know?"

"It is a nameless malice," Blue-Eyes replied, stopping all show-offy on a thick, low-hanging bough that precariously hung over a small gorge. "The darkness stems from Dol Goldur. Now, there are rumors; rumors of a necromancer, who resides in the ruins of that ancient fort."

"Necromancer?" That hardly sounded good. In anything where it was used, necromancer usually meant one who raises dead. "That doesn't sound good. Have you investigated it?"

"Of course not," Blue-Eyes gave you an odd look, like you'd just suggested he drink out of the toilet or something. You struggled to get up the side of a log he'd just casually hopped onto. "Why should we? They are merely rumors, and the forest has been sick for a long, long while. Still... This darkness unsettles me, as it does to all Sindar whom reside here."

"Dude, then maybe you should check the fuckin ruins," You mumbled, but he ignored you and continued hopping around from flowertop to flowertop. You just trampled noisily and clumsily along behind him. "Don't you guys like, live for light? So shouldn't you see if the ruins really do have a necromancer now? Especially since this dark ooze comes from it?"

Blue-Eyes shook his head. "King Thranduil does not wish for time to be wasted on rumors when we have other matters to deal with."

"Oh, so you mean he's too busy having everybody vote on which crown of berries goes best with his eyebrows."

"What?"

"Nothing. You Elves are just stupid."

Legolas grinned. "Well, humans are equally intellectually challenged."

You paused in chasing after him, stunned. He turned to face you when he didn’t hear you following. "Did you seriously just do that?"

"Do what?"

"You literally just used big words to sound smart." You laughed theatrically. "Oh! Pardon me, fine companion, I meant to implicate that you utilize gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence."

He smiled slightly as you finally made it up beside him. "I suppose you are not so daft," He relented teasingly, "Otherwise you would not even have those words in your vocabulary."

You made a face and rolled your eyes. "Whatever, blondie."

The training grounds were closer than you remembered, even taking the roundabout route. Along the way, though, you'd fallen into a bog, got your face scratched up by evil tree branches, and tumbled head-over-heels down a steep ravine, getting battered and bruised all over your body.

Apparently Middle-Earth-- Mirkwood specifically-- was prone to give previously non-Elvish members of other worlds injuries.

You made quite a show; barreling through a thorn bush and landing flat on your face right on the edge of the training grounds. You heard all the Elves turn their weapons on you, in case you were an orc, but then they seen your sorry ass, and Leggy casually coming down the steep ridge as if it was just a flight of stairs.

"Mae govannen," Said Legolas cheerfully to the Elves. Casually, he picked up his knife, which you'd thrown away from you halfway down so you didn't impale yourself at any point during the fall. Still, it'd skittered down alongside you. "Sairen, it seems you've failed this test."

"I dropped it on the goddamn border..."

"Nevertheless," Blue-Eyes ignored your response. "We are here now, and forfeiting other forms of training for the sake of redoing one failed task is pointless. You will learn as much as you can here, until I say we stop."

You finally moved, trying to at least sit up on your elbows. "It's only noon. We've got till nightfall, yeah? I can do that. No problem."

Legolas grinned down at you. "Mellon, you are of the Eldar now. You are stronger than before and do not need sleep unless you wish to dream."

"I don't what?!"

"Elves do not sleep unless we have been injured and need to heal," He replied, and grabbed you by the underarms to help you up. "We are stronger and more resilient than the race of Men. You are no longer imprisoned by the necessities of the human body."

Instant headrush slammed into you. "Apparently not all human body shit..."

He raised an eyebrow. "What do you speak of?"

"Headrush, dammit."

"Oh," He grew amused. "Do you mean the Blackness? Unfortunately, that befalls us all."

You glared daggers at him.

Another Elf approached, with a slender face and long brown hair. "My lord, most of the training grounds are taken up. You may yet have mine, if you wish so."

Legolas smiled. "Ah, my thanks. [Y/N], this is one of the Elves that accompanied Lord Elrond here, Lindir."

You extended your hand. "Nice to meet you."

Both Blue-Eyes and Lindir looked at your hand in confusion. Lindir, with a glance to Legolas, slowly tried to hand you his bow. With a roll of your eyes and a shake of your head, you realized they didn't even understand what a handshake was. "No no no, sorry; that's called a handshake. It's what two people do when they meet each other where I come from. I didn't mean to confuse you. SO." You bowed in the Elvish way. "Mae govannen, Lindir of House Elrond."

Lindir and Blue-Eyes smiled. Lindir returned your bow. "Mae govannen, [Y/N] of House Thranduil."

"Lindir will be accompanying us to trace the orcs, and Erestor of Rivendell," Said Legolas, "As will another of our own house, Elros; I believe you have met him already. He was the Elf who lead you to the councilroom. From Lothlorien is a friend of mine, Haldir, and of course, with the other Elven Lords aiding us, Mithrandir feels he should send his own aid as well..."

Lindir's eyes widened. "Do not tell me..."

Blue-Eyes nodded seriously. "He is sending Naughrim to accompany us."

"Naughrim?" You asked. Of all names, that didn't sound familiar. "Who's that? Somebody not well-liked among Elves?"

Blue-Eyes fought a smile. Lindir answered you. "Mellon, Naughrim is our tongue for dwarves."

Your mouth formed an 'o' in recognition. "Ohhhh, now I get it. Elves and dwarves hate each other for no explainable reason. Got it. Who's he sending?"

Blue-Eyes shook his head in exasperation. "They are all of Erebor. Balin and Dwalin, two are named, and of the other, he is the most insufferable of dwarves; Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, King Under the Mountain. Mithrandir believes that this will be a good experience for him as it is for us, but he refuses to come himself. He's all but forcing the situation."

You looked from Blue-Eyes to Lindir and back. "How can he force you? Dwarves and Elves are both stubborn beyond all reason, and none of you seem to take him seriously."

Legolas shook his head and pursed his lips. "Unfortunately, Dwalin is as good a tracker as any, and Ada  is not permitting many of the Sindar on this journey for the reason that we are merely meant to find where the yrch dwell, and go no further. We will need all the aide we can find, even if it is in the form of unwilling dwarves. As for them, he has promised treasure, the details of which I know not; I can only hope it is not any of ours he has promised them." He smiled at you. "Shall we?"

Before you could follow, he walked off; you glanced to Lindir questioningly. "...Ada? Who's that?"

Lindir smiled softly. "It means father. He is referring to King Thranduil."

"Oh. Now I feel stupid."

"Do not, mellon, for the language of the Elves is not easily learned unless you were born speaking the tongue."

With a roll of your shoulders, which ached, you followed Leggy.

***

"Ow, goddamn it, and goddamn you, you stupidly perfect Elf."

At the end of the day, you'd been cut, pricked, whipped by a bowstring, nicked, dinged, and all kinds of other small injuries that added up to one big mess of drying blood and bruises.

Blue-Eyes had had you train deep into the night, until the silvery waning moon had all but left the star-filled sky. Now, as the sunrise approached, you both sat on two convenient boulders, and he bandaged your bloodied hands. In the eerie half-dawn light, he looked ethereal, and his pale hands and silver tunic sleeves compared to your now dark-with-blood-and-mud-and-bruises hands and black sleeves was a huge contrast. Your hands shook slightly, aching and stinging and pained on various sorts of levels, while his were perfectly steady as he wrapped them in soft green leaves.

"Stop shaking, mellon," Legolas told you gently.

"What was that?" Your head snapped up. "Are you feeling sorry for me? Don't feel sorry for me! This is nothing! I've been shot in the calf by an orcish arr--OW!"

The leaves had drawn too tight and released some kind of juice that stung like hell. His hands hovered over yours. "My apologies, but it draws out the infection."

"What infection?!"

"You are not yet used to your Elven body yet," Blue-Eyes replied, looking into your eyes. "Since you are the equivalent of a newborn, I would say you are very susceptible to infections, sickness, and injuries."

You looked off dramatically into the distance. "That explains why I can't stop fucking getting hurt..."

"That it does," He smiled at you, and something pulsed in your chest. Da fuck... You fought a flush. He stood, then held out his hand to you. "Shall we return to the palace? You may rest until sunhigh, and then we will continue your training." You took his hand, and he helped you up; you stumbled into his chest, and backed up quickly. He took no notice, but patted your shoulder before going to retrieve his bow and quiver. "You did well today, Sairen, even if you frightened off half of the other Sindar and Silvan training here."

You made a face. "Pfft. They just can't handle my awesomeness."

"If you say so, mellon," He said, and started to take the easy way back, to your relief. You followed closely behind him.

You looked up at the stars as you walked in silence for awhile, until finally, you broke it. Of course, you broke anything, really... "Where I come from, they say there's a star for every soul that's passed away."

Legolas glanced to you, then followed your gaze wistfully. "That is something our two worlds have in common."

"Scientifically," You added, "They're spheres of hot air and gaseous materials wound up tight by gravity that glow and put off heat, but the idea always felt nice to me... But where I come from... You also can't see the stars."

Blue-Eyes halted in his tracks as if you'd just said someone murdered his mother. "I... What? You can't see the stars?!" He actually looked genuinely horrified by that idea.

You shook your head. "No. Humans... They've polluted the atmosphere too much. Filled it with trash, and man-made lights and even remnants of smoke... You can't see them."

He watched you even as you watched the stars. "I've never seen them like this... They're beautiful." You could see bands of galaxies and clouds of distant nebulae, and the small silver fires glittered in the billions, even as the pink-orange glow of the beginning of dawn was starting to show in the east. You were in awe.

You jumped when Legolas took your hand. "What?"

He smiled at you. "Come with me. I will show you one of the best stargazing places in all of Mirkwood."

"Thranduil's pavilion?"

"Better."

"Whoa. Dude, count me in."

He lead you off of the trail, deep into the woods, through the easiest ways that probably were a pain for him, but he did it anyway. Finally, you stopped at the base of a massive tree, stretching so far up you couldn't see its top. Its trunk was pockmarked with holes and vines, and after slinging his bow onto his back, he threw you a smile over his smile. "Come, Sairen."

You couldn't help but smile back. You climbed, quickly, all the way up, past the canopy, into the uppermost branches of the tree, where the copper-gold leaves thinned out to allow for one thick branch to get a view of the night sky. The branch was thick enough across to allow for two or three people to sit side-by-side against the trunk, and Blue-Eyes sat quickly as he helped you up.

Here, no branches obscured any part of your field of view. You got a perfect view of the sunrise, and the starry sky. "Holy shit..."

You felt him put an arm around you, and you stiffened, just before he breathed in your ear, "I will not let you fall from this tree, Sairen. You've only just arrived in this world, and should another portal be below that is activated by a beautiful sunrise, I am loathe to let you go, for there is so much I want to show you..." The sun burst over the distant mountains beyond Erebor, sending fiery orange and red across the sky. "Such as this. Your world does not sound as if it could have any sunrise as wonderful as this one."

A warm feeling blossomed in your chest as you watched the sunrise, jaw slack. "No... Not like this."

Legolas smiled, and finally turned his focus to it himself. Your eyes slowly dragged off of the beautiful scenery to look at the Elf beside you, and the warm feeling worsened; your heart started fluttering. Eldar only fall in love once... Galadriel had warned you.

...Shit.

A blush crawled up your face, and you tried your hardest to focus on the sky rather than the Elvish princeling pressed close against your side.

***

"Mae govannen, [Y/N] of the Woodland Realm," Greeted Lindir kindly as you approached the group of Elves gathering in front of the front gates.

"Mae govannen, Lindir of Rivendell," You replied with a smile. The Elvish greetings rolled off your tongue easily now. After the sunrise you and Blue-Eyes had watched together, you'd spent the last two days training at obscene hours and resting. Now, finally, the group of Elves leaving to track the orcs were gathering-- there were only about fifty in total, of which there were those wearing Woodland garments, the red-and-gold of Lothlorien, and the greens, purples, and browns of Rivendell. Apparently Galadriel, Celeborn, and Elrond didn't agree with Thranduil sending what would've only been a dozen to track some very dangerous orcs.

You heard several of them muttering to each other about Naughrim, something all of them had in common.

You swung your light traveling pack off of your shoulders and by your feet, scanning the crowd for a certain platinum-blonde head-- unfortunately, most of the Elves from Lothlorien had blonde hair. You looked at Lindir. "Where's Legolas?"

Lindir glanced around. "He is on his way, I am sure. After all, it is he and Haldir whom are leading this journey."

You nodded. "I've never packed for something like this before... I hope I didn't pack anything weird or forget something."

Lindir looked confused, then recognition flashed across his face. "Oh. Forgive me, I had forgotten you do not have this experience. Tell me, what did you pack?"

You shifted your weight nervously, and lowered your voice. "Uhh... Two extra pairs of clothes in case these get ruined, some extra food, even though I've noticed I don't have to eat as much as before, and some water. Then there's these," You gestured to your back, where a quiver and longbow hung from your back. You felt its weight all too strongly, and that of the sword on your hip and the knives on your thighs. "And some of those special leaves that're used for bandages."

Lindir smiled and placed a hand on your shoulder. "Mellon, you have packed what we all have, and lightly, as well."

You smiled. "Thanks. Just consider yourself lucky that I don't know how to read Elvish, or I would've packed a book or two to keep me company."

Lindir chuckled and stepped back. "Well, for now, I am glad of it. On this journey you will learn much, hopefully, and by the time we return, you may be able to speak more of Elvish. It is harder to learn to read it, I have heard, much harder."

You ran a finger over your chin in thought. "I wonder if Thranduil would let me go to Dale or Laketown to get some books in English..."

"Forgive me," Lindir looked confused. "I do not know what that is."

You realized what you'd said a second too late. "Oh! Sorry. Where I come from, Common is just referred to as English."

"Oh, I see now. I am sure he would, and if he does not yet, then perhaps one of the Woodland Elves could bring some back for you. What of Legolas? Are you not friends?"

You blushed. "Yeah, I hope so. I've never been very good at making friends, though. Nobody's ever really liked me." You realized Lindir was staring at you with an absolutely terrified expression. Your own eyes widened in alarm, and you frantically patted your face. "What?! Is there something on my face?!"

Lindir shook his head. "I-I am not sure. Your skin has suddenly gone red, as if burned. Are you ill?"

"Uhhh..."

You were spared the embarrassment of explaining blushing by all the Elves gathered suddenly gasping and bowing in the direction of the stairs. Lindir saw the cause before you did, and his jaw fell. "By all the Valar..." He bowed deeply, and you followed his motion, but not before catching a glimpse of who it was. Thranduil, of course, and Legolas, following a she-Elf in a tunic that looked as if it were made of starlight itself, with flowing white hair and alabaster skin.

"Ui!" Shouted Thranduil irritably. "Ni telima lume, autauva!"

You leaned closer to Lindir. "What did he say?"

"He is forbidding her to join us," He answered quickly.

The she-Elf whipped around, generating a power almost as strong as Galadriel's. Legolas stepped forward. "Amal... Mecin."

She shook her head. "Yon, venno, nin carindo ier nin indo. Alye uva pusta ni."

"What did she say about pasta?" You whispered.

"Sh!" Lindir said quickly.

The woman looked at Thranduil and Legolas lovingly, before approaching Thranduil and placing both hands on his face. Thranduil closed his eyes in regret, and the woman kissed him; you looked away, embarrassed. That was the Elvenqueen.

That was Legolas's mother.

"Melinyel, Thranduil, alye ista si."

Thranduil sighed. "Melinyel, mela... Mecin ea girthonwed."

With that, Legolas reluctantly took his mother's hand and lead her down the stairs. They disappeared in the crowd, until you heard the Elvenqueen's voice. "Rise, all of you." Unsure, the Elves rose one-by-one. "Which of you hail from far places, whom rescued my son Legolas Greenleaf from the fate of an early death?"

The Eldar glanced to one another, realized it wasn't their neighbor, and slowly, like somebody who'd gotten called out in class, you were being stared at, and a path was made between you and her majesty, while Legolas stood beside her.

You swallowed hard, suddenly terrified. Lindir patted your shoulder. "You have been summoned, mellon. Go, I will make sure your pack does not get swapped with someone else's."

You tried to look and walk confidently, but you were terrified. She was beautiful and indimidating, and you had to admit, you were definitely intimidated. When you reached her, you bowed as deeply and respectfully as you could, a fist over your heart. "Elen sila lumenn omentielvo, your majesty." You didn't know what else to say. What you'd said to Galadriel and Celeborn was the most respectful thing you knew in Elvish, and you'd never been in the presence of royalty.

"You come from another world," She looked down at you indifferently, and you suddenly felt very small and very weak with everybody's eyes on you. This was nothing like Thranduil's fabulously indifferent look. "Yet still, you saved my son's life. After, you make the presumption that you can live and walk among us as one of us, freely, unburdened, merely because you came here by happenstance and you were allowed the reward of living. Do you feel as if this is the correct course of action for you to take?"

You glanced to Legolas, absolutely horrified. "Y-your majesty..." Your hot-headed tongue, a lot more toned down, popped into existence. "I saved your son's life because he didn't deserve to die. I was given the freedom to live, and to repay that, I mean to make the most of my time here by helping in whatever ways that I can. King Thranduil has given me the chance to prove myself worthy of living here by allowing me to join in hunting for the orcs. If I fail, I will leave Mirkwood, and go with Lord Elrond to Rivendell."

Legolas's eyes widened a fraction of an inch, before going back to their normal selves; he looked to you with almost a sadness, but you couldn't figure out why. Elvenqueen smiled, as if proud. "Then you are not what the rumours of your world have made you out to be. You are humble and grateful, qualities I did not expect from one of this Earth. You possess a unique personality, [Y/N]. Tell me, who are your parents, so that I may refer to you properly?"

"I have no father," You said quickly, relieved that she was just trying to scare you. "None I care to speak about. But I do have a mother, who I love very much. Her name is [M/N]."

Elvenqueen smiled. "Very well, [Y/N], child of [M/N]. Here, we, all of us, have a secondary name, such as my son; Legolas Greenleaf. During this journey, you may earn your own."

You smiled back, relieved beyond relief that she'd decided not to kick your ass for existing. "My thanks, your majesty."

She sailed away regally, and Legolas shot you a glare. "Why did you not tell me you would be leaving us?" He demanded.

You balked. "I-I said if I failed..."

"And you are most likely to do so," He snapped, sending your heart and soul plummeting to roughly the center of Middle-Earth. Without another word, he followed his mother.

"Mellon?" Said Lindir from behind. You turned around; He held his bag and yours, which you gratefully took from him.

"Thanks," You said, but your eyes followed Legolas's back as he disappeared into the crowd.

"Is everything alright?"

"Just fine," You shrugged. You were used to being abandoned.

Lindir looked doubtful. "Very well, if you say so. May I introduce you to those you will be most judged by?"

"Sure."

He took you through the crowd, to the guy who helped you find the councilroom. "Ah, [Y/N]. Mae govannen."

You bowed your head and returned the greeting to Elros in a monotone voice. "So your name is Elros?"

"Yes," He replied. "Son of Elrond."

If you were taking a drink of water, you'd've spewed it everywhere. "Huh? But isn't Rivdendell like, waaay over the Misty Mountains?"

Elros chuckled. "Yes, but those of the Eldar cannot always remain in one place. We yearn for far places, and even farther shores. Long years I have spent in the halls of my father, but I left for Mirkwood when my sister, Arwen Evenstar, left for Lothlorien, to spend a time with our mother's mother, Galadriel."

Your eyes were wide. "Galadriel is a grandma?! Your grandma?!"

Lindir and Elros looked at each other in amusement. "Elves," Said Lindir, "Live forever, so long as we are not killed by injury, or the wounds of the heart."

"Wounds of the heart?" You echoed.

"When love remains unrequited, it is sometimes too much to bear," Replied Elros, "And the victim suffers long before dying of a broken heart. Oftentimes, it is when a wife perishes during childbirth, or when war or battle takes the life of a beloved, and their souls pass into the Halls of Mandos. I still worry for my father, even though my mother has long since passed due to child-sickness."

Your eyes widened. "I'm so sorry."

Elros raised a hand. "She is at peace now. She resides in the halls where her mother lives, and many of my kin who have long since passed on."

"Is Elrond gonna be okay?" Now you were worried. You didn't even know the guy (Even though you probably knew him before your amnesia.) but you didn't want him to die of heartbreak. He was being nice to you, and offering you a place to live if Thranduil decided to be more of an ass.

"He is strong," Lindir assured you, and partially Elros. "He is stout of heart and fierce of soul. He will live long yet, that I can assure you with the utmost certainty."

Together, Lindir and Elros took you to where another dark-haired Elf in the Rivendell attire spoke with a Lothlorien Elf in red-and-gold armor. White hair was braided away from his stern face. Elros said something in Elvish, getting their attention, and they both bowed to you. "[Y/N], child of [M/N], may I introduce you to Erestor, Chief Counselman of Elrond, and Haldir of Lothlorien."

"Mae govannen," They both said.

Haldir regarded you warily. "I have heard you come from far lands, one beyond even Arda."

You tried not to look stupid. "Arda?"

"This world upon which we live," Haldir clarified.

"Oh!" Now you knew what they were talking about. "You mean this whole planet? Mine never had a cool name; Earth, that's it, with a bunch of different countries on it. Are there countries besides Middle-Earth here?"

Erestor chuckled. "Yes. There is Beleriand, just the remains of it, to the farthest west. Also in the west lie the Gray Havens, and across the Sea are the Undying Lands of Aman, far from Endor-- that is to say, collectively, Middle-Earth and Beleriand."

"Oh, cool! Where I come from, nowhere has cool names anymore, except for maybe Dubai, Greece, and Rome. In the past, there were hardly ever cool places, except for Egypt and Babylon."

The four Elves around you glanced to each other in amusement, as if you were a child just learning new things; and you pretty much were...

"Haldir," Said a familiar voice, and you perked up as Blue-Eyes stepped through the crowd. Your heart sank as he completely avoided your gaze. Damn, you should be used to this kinda shit by now. One small thing and someone abandons you. "We go to meet the dwarves. You have told your party, yes?"

"Of course, mellon."

"As have I," Added Erestor as Blue-Eyes went to ask. "None of us may like this, but it the word of a Maiar, of which the Noldor still yet revere. Worry not, Legolas."

Blue-Eyes nodded, glanced to you, and walked back through the suddenly-departing crowd as the doors opened. You hefted up your bag further onto your shoulder. "Mmkay, Lindir?" You fell into step with the purple-clad Elf.

"What is it?"

"Questions. Lots of them. What the hell is a Mayan and a No-door?"

Lindir chuckled. "Maiar, and Noldor. The Noldor are the oldest of the Elves. The Maiar are wizards, servants of the Valar; such as Saruman, Mithrandir, and Radagast."

"They met gods?"

"Yes," Said Lindir doubtfully, eyeing you. "Do the people of your world not know of their gods?"

You scoffed dryly. "You kidding me? Almost everybody believes in some bearded guy in white floating through existence and pointing to a random spot, then saying 'Let there be light!' Bam, universe created. Others have much more gruesome stories; like in Norse, Odin and his two brothers cut up a giant to create the world. Then there was Egyptian, where two godly people representing the earth and sky consummated and BAM, universe created again. They all say the gods came from the sky, which others believe to be aliens-- people from other planets entirely-- but I've always been an atheist."

"And what does that mean?"

"That I don't believe a goddamn word of any of that 'god' shit."

"You should not speak of them so, for they hear all."

"Yuck. Let's hope they don't find somebody on their wedding night."

Lindir's eyes bugged out of his head. "That was... Sudden."

You grinned. "I'm like that. Get used to it, Lindy."

He frowned. "My name is Lindir."

"I know that," You laughed. "It's a nickname. It's a sign of friendship."

Lindir smiled. "Oh. Then we are friends, then?"

"Sure! I've never been friends with so many people before!" You looked ahead excitedly, waving when you seen Legolas glaring at you. So what if he was pissed? You'd make him un-pissed.

Lindir gave you a sad look. "But you have only befriended Legolas and myself."

"And Tauriel."

"Still, that is only three people." He looked genuinely confused. "Do the people of your world not believe in friendship either?"

You sighed. "Not really. They're more interested in betrayal. Me, personally, I've had it all. Betrayal, death, abandonment... I've gone through some shitty times, that's for sure. One catastrophe after the next. One painful step at a time through it. I've been through hell and back, been shattered like glass and looked death in the eye, and somehow, I'm still standing. Sometimes it feels like I've lived a thousand lifetimes in only nineteen years." You gave him a sideways smile before looking back ahead of you, trying to block all of the flashbacks...

Lindir regarded you with newfound admiration. "I can... See it, in your eyes. I believe all of us can. The things that you have endured are marked on your stride, and not many could recover from what you have recently gone through so quickly. A human with your strength is... Unheard of."

You laughed. "Yeah, 'cause now I'm an Elf!"

Lindir laughed too then, as did a few other Elves and she-Elves near to you-- as you walked out of the doors of Mirkwood's palace, you got this strange, tingly sensation in your core... The odd feeling of people laughing with you, not at you. The feeling of not being judged. Of people realizing you've been through hell. Of people not automatically striking you onto their enemy list because you're different.

As you moved into the north, the light filtering through the leaves was golden, and everything seemed at once surreal and ethereal. But aside from those two feelings, you felt one stronger than any other. You smiled as you looked around at your new friends in this new world, which still felt so familiar. You were happier than you'd ever been. Even though you'd miss your family, you were glad the portal had been closed.

And there are many paths to tread...

Through shadow, to the edge of night...

Until the stars are all alight...

You passed Blue-Eyes, who'd climbed a tree to scout, and when he seen your awestruck, childlike expression, even he, who was currently pissed at you, couldn't help but smile at down at you. You smiled back. That warm feeling returned.

Finally, I'm where I belong.

I'm...

I’m...home.

Tag List: @tesserphantom​ @thedragonghostofmordor​ @hauntedsiriel​ @reclusive-chicken-nugget​ @naryamirie​ @legolasdeserveslove​ @escapingthoughtsandsecrets​ @sagabriar​ @brushwood-souls​ @taurlel​

If anybody wants to be tagged, just let me know!

Extra Notes: Elvish is SO FUCKING HARD. And yes I put the Elvenqueen in this. And dwarves are inbound. Don't guess the plotline, just DON'T.

Fun Facts: In Old Nordic mythology, there was a forest known as Mirkwood. There was also a dwarf called Durin, who created the line of the most power dwarfs, some of which, just to name a few, were Thorin, Fili, Kili, Dvalin, Balin, Oin, Oakenshield, and Gandalf. There were also many types of Elves-- Ljosalfar were the Light Elves, and Dokkalfar were the Dark Elves. In general, Elves were known as Alfar, and they lived in Alfheimr, "The Land of the Elves." Supposedly, Alfheimr had shining trees of silver and gold, like Lothlorien. Also, there was a dragon called Fafnir, a cursed fire-drake, coppery-red, who laid atop a mound of gold and guarded his wrongfully-taken treasure with his life. The original owner of this treasure was a dwarf, reduced to a husk of his former self, called Andvari, who, out of all of this treasure, loved most a golden ring, inscribed with runes. He cursed this ring, so that all who wore it would soon come into misfortune...

[lionettea]

ok no one asked for this but here comes some moomin analysis!!

the last scene in Moominvalley episode 12 The Invisible Child with Too-Ticky and Moomin got me thinking about that ending song “Ready Now” and (of course not to distract from Ninny’s amazing story at all) but how the narrative seems to want us to ALSO consider this song in relation to Snufkin. keep reading for a rambly analysis of why I think so LOL. its long read at ur own discretion lol

(moominvalley spoilers if you’re not caught up!)

Alright alright alright so first off. When Too-Ticky tells Moomin to watch out for other lost souls, at first I thought it was going to be a touching but generalized message to the viewers to look for invisible children in their own life (very good) but THEN-- after Moomin thinks for a sec he seems to realize something, and then as the music starts the camera pans over to where Snufkin is walking away.

stuff like that in animation is rarely coincidence and usually super planned out, so it’s not a far leap to think the song also relates to Moomin and Snufkin!!!

Before I get into lyrics I wanna point out a few things about Moomin. Bless that guy. So I’m obviously not 100% on what Moominvalley canon is as far as how long he and Snufkin have known each other & what adventures they’ve already gone on before the first ep, but it’s clear that they’re already good enough friends that Moomin knows how to respect his space, even in Snufkin’s mind/memory.

And he is able to guide others in doing the same (like when he stops Sniff from continuing to bug Snufkin after Snufkin has reached his limit)

I think this experience helped him tremendously when it came to Ninny! Out of everyone there (besides Moominmama, where he must have learned his patience from) he is able to intuit her needs the best of everyone and is most effective in making her feel welcome! (probably from having dealt with Snufkin so much, or maybe its just in his nature) It works well until he gets ahead of himself and starts talking over her/thinks he knows what she needs without listening to her. This fails, and he quickly realizes what he did wrong and makes amends and is the first to realize how important it is to LISTEN! and then he explains that to the others.

Moomin’s ability to understand and be friends with uhhhh basically everyone he meets is nothing to sneeze at AND is pretty unique to his character when you think about it. More than anyone else (excluding Moominmama cuz she’s God Tier) he shows again and again --even when it may take some time-- that he has the patience to get to know someone and find value in them, no matter how different they are from him or how annoying they are to other characters. We see this in Sniff, the ghost, the ancestor, Little My, Ninny, (a hint of it with the groke), Snorkmaiden, Moominpapa, Too-Ticky, etc. etc. (and way more in the books but I’m just talking about Moominvalley for now) and of course our dear Nuuskamuikkunen.

Basically Moomin is really good at at least giving empathy a shot, something not every character can do (moominpappa, little my, and sniff can be kinda bad at it). That kind of caring can be life changing to someone who hasn’t really had much understanding before! 

Which brings us back to Snufkin, who’s privacy/introversion isn’t often respected/understood.

To the point where (even though he DOES like people!!!) he often gets overwhelmed and can’t see any way out besides to just- leave. Like he left Moomin at the party, like he left moomin & sniff at his own campfire with an abrupt “sleep well”, & how he leaves every winter. 

And why does Snufkin act like that? I really hope Moominvalley dives into it!! *rubs hands together* Besides it just being his Nature or whatever, in the books it says that he was found abandoned in a box (if memory serves) and basically grew up totally on his own as a wanderer and never had a home of his own and DEFINITELY never had anyone he could rely on besides himself. When you grow up that unstable, its no wonder you might want to take the stability into your own hands anyway you can. Why form strong attachments if they’re not going to last, or if it means you have to give up an integral part of yourself/your freedom/the only thing you’ve been able to control? This is just speculation though (I’m still reading the books too and I’m curious if the show will even address his past much at all!)

Anyway, considering how often he’s misunderstood even in super friendly Moominvalley who knows what he experienced elsewhere. It’s easier to retreat inward and fall back on to relying on yourself and no one else. The fact he views strong connections to people as something that can cage you/prevent you from being free, reveals a lot about the relationships/lack of relationships he’s probably known. however. we keep seeing hints that Snufkin isn’t always.. totally okay with this. we see that sometimes Snufkin needs company too.

(It’s also worth noting that when Snufkin realizes he feels lonely he assumes he must be sick or something because it feels so at odds with his identity. THE BABY DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO DEAL.)

He really has no idea how to grapple with the concept of Sometimes Needing People. He doesn’t know how to admit it to himself let alone others. In general despite spouting a lot of generic wise hot-topic-like phrases of advice (hehe i love them), when it comes to explaining himself to others (ESPECIALLY MOOMIN) he has NO idea what to do. which is seen in him stuttering and being evasive and hurrying away whenever questioned LOL.

Even when he does think he understands himself and is happy with his own solitude, he gets kinda knocked down a peg with both Titi-uu and Little My/the woodies. Both instances leave him realizing that, while being alone is great, company can also have some benefits!

Okay now we’re ready for the song “Ready Now” (hehe) and Moomin & Snufkin’s relationship. To Snufkin, someone as considerate and unendingly patient and loving as Moomintroll is probably still new, foreign, and full of constant surprises! (he was so shocked when Moomin wasn’t mad about the party thing...)

“You saw through me all this time I'd forgotten people are kind”

Even though Snufkin cares deeply for Moomintroll & does NOT hesitate to help him in a pinch and often goes against his solitude nature in order to comfort him (letting moomin&sniff eat by his fire, letting the dragon go), when it comes to verbalizing his OWN needs he struggles. And yet, Moomin somehow still seems to understand him and is gentle and forgiving (again with the hemulen’s jail, he never demanded an explanation or even an apology, he just wanted to help his best friend despite being stood up haha). 

Point is Moomin seems to be able to understand how to connect with Snufkin in an effective way.

“I was hurting and you knew So you showed me what to do You said "I will listen, tell it all When you're finished we'll talk more" But I didn't know how so we took it in turns To my surprise we found my words”

If Snufkin will open up to anybody it’s Moomin. And we’re talking year after year slow burn.... You can even tell that Snufkin wants to open up as seen in his imaginary conversation with Snow-Moomin. That’s the best back and forth convo they had specifically about Snufkin’s needs and it was in his head.... orz... (just talk to him you KNOW he’d understand...)

But, as revealed in this conversation, a big thing he talked about was not being ready (specifically to come back to Moominvalley, but the way it’s framed hints it’s also about other things as well) and now these lyrics....

“Feet firm on the ground, We stood hand in hand The world seemed to tell me That I have a plan Together we sang

I'm ready now.”

Obviously a big part of Snufkin’s character is that he doesn’t do things the conventional/common way at all. He very much does his own thing and won’t let anyone else threaten that. But the thing about Moomin is that understands/tries to! Moom doesn’t want to force him into a lifestyle or role that Snuf doesn’t want to fulfill, he just wants to be with Snufkin in whatever way works, even if its unconventional.

“You said "I will listen, tell me it all You don't like the ending? Then we'll find one that's yours."

To have someone who’s willing to work with him like this, big or small-- This is probably new to Snufkin!!! Or at least, maybe Moomin has always tried to put that out there, but it’s taken a while for Snufkin to finally start to believe/understand/trust that? He used to think building a strong relationship would mean sacrificing a part of himself, but maybe learn to see that he wouldn’t have to? He’s growing! and its a good grow!

“Something new, something strange Ten feet taller, I had changed I believe you, I'm not wrong Oh, it suits me to feel strong“

There’s that little bit of euphoria where he realizes.. caring about someone deeply can be a really good and positive thing.

And finally... remember how all of Snufkin’s life and identity revolves around wanting to be free? And how at first he thought being free meant to have no strong attachments? But maybe... just maybe... after working in loving tandem with Moomin....

“Oh, how did you know? That's all we need? A promise of hope Is enough to feel free.”

:’) the end

the potential is all carefully set up and there, I’m so excited to see what Moominvalley does with it! Especially since Moomin’s storyline seems to be revolving around him becoming more independent and finding his own, while Snufkin’s is about learning it’s okay to need others. They meet in the middle.

But things are never quite that easy in Moominvalley, so who knows how lost we’ll see snufkin before he gets “found”...? or vise versa. I can’t wait to find out!!!!

[heightkeener]

Discover the Famous Places of India

INCREDIBLE INDIA

We arrive at the territory of 1,000 languages along with 1,000 gods. In the Intercontinental, the ladies in my personal collection are well versed with marigolds and branded with all a standard red dot onto our foreheads. This lodge is an oasis of luxurious at a polluted metropolis of 14 million folks. Two times have been spent traveling Delhi. The sites comprise Gandhi's Tomb and lots of UNESCO World Heritage Web Sites. Wherever else have historic customs combined together using the present in the scale therefore clear as in Delhi. Extra fat sacred Brahma bulls block site visitors creating flaws. Within this land, cows guideline. Canines, monkeys, and kiddies cross their risk.

I really like spiced foodstuff and commence each evening with a3 alarm-curry breakfast. We mind through trainer for Rajasthan, the gorgeous desert country by which cattle are substituted with camels. The atmosphere will be sweeter and that which more vivid. Here's really a microcosm of everything India is. Many folks are refined having a stunt in the event soul and light at the sight of thieves. We always tide by way of our chimney to people that struggle with fascination and appear to mention "why should you ever come ?" Like being a lover of this 3rd universe, this spot was around my own fantasy record for ages. I vividly enter that area of traveling providing you with me astonishment.

We have begun to wait for the yearly Camel honest at Pushkar that's occurred for one million decades past Whilst the entire world's most significant, it's in its summit attracted 50,000 camels by 200,000 dealers. We all unpack at our camp identified as unique Adventures. Our spartan tents didn't en suite baths but bathroom paper has been in a top. That has been a 2-4 hour shield out who stingily rationed his or her quota. From the summer, nighttime is freezing and afternoons sweltering. I confided into some guests in your American Embassy I felt as though that I had been at an episode of"Survivor." She whined reassuring me it had been worth every penny. So on my jolt turns out into amazement since I input fairgrounds.

Place on kilometers of sand slopes using festooned camels plus also a flood of pilgrims, the spectacle appears utterly forgettable. It's such as a Condition Fair On-steroids. That clearly was really a flurry of horse, bullock and camel races, competitions such as milking, creature adorning, turban linking, tattooing in addition to snake-charmers, completely free carnival rides, mystics, astrologers and magnificent booths of handicrafts at reasonable rates. The earth reverberates using pursuits. Countless Rajasthani lady has came dressed up in their very best apparel in close sweet colors. I see illuminated monkeys, painted cows, and cobra's dancing. No words could adequately clarify this helter-skelter overwhelms my 5 perceptions. The others could possess Europe having its own cathedrals and museums. As an example personally, this really exotic vulnerability and ethnic immersion would be your best traveling!

Wrapped in the dust, and people come back. Every single night there's entertainment underneath the celebrities together with musicians, folk dancers, puppet present or flame fighters. No alcoholic beverages are authorized and all foods are vegetarian buffets. An Ayurveda middle delivers us treatment options to cleansing toxins. We reduce these induced throwing up, enemas, nasal drainage along with blood-letting.

We see the sacred town of Pushkar having its own sacred lake made by Lord Brahma. Pilgrims appear from afar to wash at the ghats and snore round-the-clock. We know about religions: Zorastrism,'' Sikhism, the mysterious Sufi's, Jainists who won't eliminate a mosquito, Hinduism that asserts no total accuracy and also the caste system. We see temples in the lake; a few really are"blessed" by priests. Later on, a highlight for me personally was 1 hour Camel Cart Safari supporting the scenes of this honest. Kiddies line our path yelling to us"Hello, 1 pencil remember to!" We view a slaughtered and half of nude folks washing daily. Straight back within the reasons we see an orphanage and scatter separately for lost from the frenzied revelry. We trip enormous spitting camels offering us an increased view of this all. I buy twelve garnet silver and necklaces ankle bracelets. Teen boys tactic Terry to picture him. He has 6'5'". One as him"Sir, what would you consume?"

Our collection proved to be all wonderful!

You will find infinite food however we ought to pass enticements to protect against"Delhi stomach." I detect that the cacophony of insanity lovely. Pushkar is quite an event affair for those sailors and also we have been an only captioning company. I am really so thankful to undergo this a while and energy to move with all our hectic trip.

We arrive at the famous"Pink City" of Jaipur, today a more profound maroon from contamination. Additionally vacationing its own palaces, architectural and fort marvels, we know of those amazing Amber rulers and maharajahs of this Moghul empire. Heritage will come alive and now also I locate myself interested because I cared for. And here's really a shopper's heaven for silk sarees, stone, marble, and jewelry crafts. I saw a creature refuge known as"Assist ." The most peculiar examples of species have been treated by volunteer veterinarians. Exotic 5 stray canines have been sterilized each day and that I see an operation. (Watch www.HIS-INDIA.com ) you are able to easily email them a test to provide help.

Only assist in Enduring' a puppy spaying Building a contribution Volunteer vets speak to Suzy

Onto observe the expansive Fatehpur Sikri, "Ghost Town of Akbar" which has been left as a result of lack of plain water. We reach Agra, a busted town of 2.5 million. Hawkers disturb us. Chained conveys dancing for rupees on the road. Starving kids ensue. We're grateful to marvel in the deluxe Sheraton the following along with its own western cuisine and also cheap massages at $20. It had been similar to a galaxy shift from your Caribbean.

Soon after seeing an eyeful of miracles on the way in which, we've spared the very best for final in the planet's biggest tribute to really like. Goose-bumps climb since I input the royal gate into the Taj Mahal. Morning sun warms it as just a perfect pearl...22 years to construct with 200,000 adult men with two million bits of wrought semi-precious stone. After having a lecture about which this ideal symmetry is made to get Queen Mumtaz, we distribute to picture exactly what looks like quite a mirage. It's poetry in design so that as glorious as is envisioned.

Straight back in Delhi, most of us like a completely free afternoon of leisure to research once we all choose! Most proceed shopping since deals will be low but just how lots of Pashmina shawls do you want? For the final day, we now enjoy a series known as"Dances of India" followed closely by means of a farewell banquet of the Last Day (Indian) Supper.

That I remise still another travel well done with great manuals, motorists, accommodations and assistance. I remember my favored time that happened in the reason when I employed two"human anatomy manuals" to aid me throughout the audiences, Jamal and also Ranchi. Both of these 11-year-old boys ensured me enjoy barnacles along with also their glistening grinning faces that will probably forever stay etched in my own memory of India. This excursion has revived my fascination with the earth reminding me that my love of traveling proliferates itself. The longer I visit, the longer I desperately wish to watch.

This nation will be for the traveler. I'm exceptionally impressed with all the fortitude and persistence of my bunch of sixty persons in a property of infrastructure that is jagged. For a while, it had been their very first trip to this next world nevertheless all of them lived to enjoy experts. To see discomfort hand would be your most economical approach to love dwelling. We watched matters both dreadful and joyous. The phrase"intriguing" but would amount up the whole holiday season. I have to reunite back again.

MOST BEAUTIFUL PLACE ON EARTH - INDIA

If you're planning about one's next holiday, then think of India. Probably one among the absolute most vibrant states on the ground, India has a lot of offers you will simply not need to return straight back! The broad array of civilizations, customs, heritage and also the all-natural splendor of this position are guaranteed to create your trip most notable! The glorious Mogul monuments, the most enchanting splendor of its own temples along with temples of this splendor and attractiveness of this Rajput predominate really are a couple of explanations for why tens and thousands of people arrived year after year. A property of ethnic diversity,'' India is still amongst the biggest democratic nations on the planet. From luxurious locales to calm countryside, this remarkable vacation destination is packed with surprises! From hiking at the hardest Himalayan peaks, to ride from the huge desert stretches and out of wild-life Safari in a National Park into some relaxing shore family vacation at Goa, there's therefore far to adventure! During the time you're here usually do not miss sites including Agra -- home for the globally renowned Peninsula, the Taj Mahal, Rajasthan - the property of architectural marvels and also Goa - a sexy place for anyone that really like sunlight'n' Sand. One other place which may catch your spirit would be Kerala. Called the god's own country', the stunning shores here offer you a refreshing escape. Due to many nations within a governmental border, every single invest India is comparable from one other. The northwest includes its own very own gaudy civilizations and also the south-east beckons people to watch the most intricate spiritual festivals. A heady combination of this older and also the brand new, you fulfill get the price approach of this past heavily maintained from the existing. India can be renowned for adventure trekking. Hiking, hiking, river rafting, hockey and also the wildlife shore at Jim Corbett playground are those actions you may have pleasure inside! Whether you're coming alone or together with family, then you may always receive yourself a package on the web to coordinate with your vacation requirements. Still another benefit of reserving your trip on the internet is the fact that a few internet sites also supply you with vacation insurance plan, therefore you never need to think about receiving you. Using all growth of tourism business, the united states features lots of all lodges spa hotels and resorts to earn your stay at ease. Whether you're searching to get a luxurious lodge with world-class facilities or even some wonderful budget lodging, then you are going to readily come across one yourself. But until you measure from one's hotel space, choosing a vacationer counsel is extraordinarily recommended. You'll find many types of excursion choices to traveling India. You may pick those tours determined by the specific regions you'll prefer to go to. Should you want to know more about the cultural heritage of the united states afterward choosing a trip that ensures the most outstanding historic destinations will probably provide you exactly what you really want. However, if you like to experience, then you have to reserve an experience excursion to go through the optimal/optimally adrenaline match betting. The other famous excursion would be that the Golden Zone tour, which covers major metropolitan areas in Delhi, Jaipur, and Agra. The scenic landscapes, gold beaches, blazing deserts, even the early temples and also the civilization of this contemporary era have manufactured India - a land of dramatic contrasts. Nowhere on the planet, you'll locate incredible charm and fascination since you'll discover throughout your visit to India.

I'm firmly confident that the united states of India were transplanted from the other world. You may locate no other place just like it around this particular world.

India can be a nation at which you can notice all you may see right now. What's more, that which you may observe will likely be more intense. You are not going to observe a beggar that you are going to notice countless of those. You are not going to observe a gorgeous shore, you are going to realize the very gorgeous beaches on earth. Spots of riches really are over the top you are going to be shocked. The shantytowns of this inferior, on the opposite side, will put you straight back to your own bites.

India could be the 1 location you may travel to and come off entirely enthralled and laughing in an identical moment. In case your notion of travel is sitting down at a posh lodge, India has these kinds of hotels nevertheless, you are going to not be able to steer clear of the attractive locations. In the event you would rather get outside and also choose a civilization that's totally unfamiliar for you, you won't ever locate a greater place compared to India.

India is truly numerous states in just a political border. The southeast of India is completely distinct compared to the northwest. The exact same holds for that east-west and west. In the event, you really don't enjoy the region you are in, then only get to the train to get a time or 2 and also you are going to be on a totally different planet.

Among those largest passenger complaints concerning India could be that poverty. In fact, it's lousy. There's just no way across the actuality. All you've got seen, where you might have done nothing fits with the poverty in India. The majority of cities are cities and also the states are far less than the best. To receive a very first-hand account, I recommend you examine the superb publication, "Shantaram", by Gregory David Roberts. Roberts dwelt in a few of those shantytowns for a long time busy by law enforcement. The publication is enormous and provides you with an alternative outlook in the poverty circumstance. No matter you'll have issues addressing all the poverty in India. Additionally, it can destroy your journey in case you are not attentive.

In case you are contemplating seeing India, then you want to simply accept the simple fact life is much different, and also you also have to return to grips on this specific until you're gone. In fact, India can be a remarkably attractive state of all beauty, magnificent websites and unbelievably humorous men and women.

[imagitory]

D-Views: Muppet Treasure Island

Hi, everyone! Welcome to another installment of D-Views, my on-going written review series for films that fall under the Disney umbrella, as well as those that were influenced by those films! For more reviews for movies like Mary Poppins, Treasure Planet, and The Prince of Egypt, please consult my “Disney Reviews” tag and, of course, if you enjoy this review or any of the others, please consider liking and reblogging!

Today’s film is one of my childhood favorites, starring a cast of some of my favorite people, as well as frogs, pigs, and even whatevers. This is Muppet Treasure Island! (Thank you for your votes, @the-alexandrian-alchemist, @silvvergears, @extremelybears​, @livinlifelikeishould​ and @karalora​!)

Ever since 1976, the characters of the Muppet Show have been American pop culture icons. The show itself won a total of 21 Emmy nominations and four television awards over its long run, and by 1990 its cast had also starred in several critically acclaimed films (The Muppet Movie, The Great Muppet Caper, and The Muppets Take Manhattan) and the very popular animated TV show Muppet Babies. And all of that wouldn’t have been possible without the Muppets’ creator, Jim Henson.

Like at the Walt Disney Company, the loss of their leader in 1990 hit Jim Henson Productions very hard. One silver lining, however, is that just like with Walt Disney, Jim Henson was memorialized not just by the characters he created, but by his many achievements and the many friendships he’d made in life. He received a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame alongside Kermit the Frog; was inducted into the Television Hall of Fame; earned a memorial in his hometown Hyattsville, Maryland; was posthumously named a Disney Legend; was the focus of the heartfelt TV special The Muppets Celebrate Jim Henson; and was laid to rest with two formal funeral services complete with performances of some of his favorite songs. And just like the Walt Disney Company, even after the death of someone who meant so much to them, Jim Henson Productions got back up and promised to do more in the memory of their lost leader. Jim’s son Brian Henson took the reins and directed the Disney-co-produced Christmas movie The Muppet Christmas Carol in 1992, before he moved on to their next project and today’s subject, Muppet Treasure Island.

So, here’s the thing -- I have a LOT of nostalgia for this movie. I will be upfront about that. But even with that acknowledged, I was sort of stunned when I found out how lukewarm the reaction to this movie was, when it was released in theaters. Sure, I knew it hadn’t broken the bank, but even if it earned about $34 million worldwide, it received no honors or awards, only hit third at the box office opening weekend behind the movies Broken Arrow and Happy Gilmore, and even now only boasts an average 73% rating at Rotten Tomatoes. Critics at the time criticized how it was more “Treasure Island” than “Muppet”, with Roger Ebert calling it “less cleverly written” and Gene Siskel even more coldly deeming it “boring.” Although I’ll readily acknowledge that reading those reactions makes me want to run outside and scream “FUCK YOU, GENE SISKEL” at the top of my lungs, I promise to give a more rational review of this movie instead, one hopefully that acknowledges any possible shortcomings, but also will celebrate this film and how completely NOT boring it is.

One of the best things about this movie hits us in the face right off the bat -- the music, written by scoring giant Hans Zimmer and Nick Glennie-Smith. As much as I enjoy a lot of Muppet musicals, I attest that Muppet Treasure Island has the most cohesive score overall of any Muppet production. The Muppets were always creatures of the short, sweet vignette -- of the variety show -- of many disparate pieces sewn loosely together into a whole like a patchwork quilt. Even though The Muppet Christmas Carol’s soundtrack comes very close in its cohesion and I would say The Muppets (2011) -- my personal favorite Muppet movie -- is truer to the spirit of the Muppet Show in its music while also paying tribute to old-fashioned movie musicals, Muppet Treasure Island just paints a full-bodied picture from the off-set, building on refrains that return and morph over the course of the picture. From the very beginning, we get that this venture is NOT a standard Muppet movie. Like The Muppet Christmas Carol, the Muppets’ humor will only be part of the story told -- in TMCC, it takes a backseat to sincere emotions like love and redemption, while here in MTI, it takes a backseat to adventure and swashbuckling action.

The score also seamlessly flows into our first song, “Shiver My Timbers,” which just screams “pirate!” I’ve loved pirates ever since I was a little kid, and Muppet Treasure Island was one of the main reasons why. I was okay with Peter Pan, but Muppet Treasure Island was what really got me excited about pirates. They were rough, ruthless, and dangerous, but it was exciting to face off against them in an epic musical adventure, even if your only weapons were a couple of artfully thrown starfish. In the 90′s, pirate films weren’t really “in” -- it wouldn’t be until 2003 with the release of Pirates of the Caribbean that they became popular again -- but I think Muppet Treasure Island, through its music, really embraces the fun, action-packed thrills that Disney would later capitalize on in the Pirates films.

After our prologue, we meet Billy Bones (played by the perfectly cast Billy Connolly) and, of course, our hero, Jim Hawkins, played by newcomer Kevin Bishop. Kevin was the very first of a hundred kids who showed up for the audition to meet the casting agents, and he was selected for the part then and there. Sadly post-Muppets he moved on to stage and television, but for what it’s worth, I quite like Kevin in the role of Jim. He’s distinctly depicted as a boy, complete with a pre-puberty “boy soprano” singing voice (which I acknowledge is an acquired taste, but I personally enjoy), but that characterization only serves to accent how large of an arc he goes through over the course of the film. He starts off as smart, sincere, honest, and dreamy, but also very innocent and trusting, and over the course of the story, he learns to ground himself in who he is and what he believes in, to the point where he has to sever ties with someone he once considered a friend and mentor. Accompanying Jim in his journey are Gonzo and Rizzo, who largely serve as comic relief but do still serve as good friends and companions to Jim, as evident by the three characters’ “I Want” song, “Something Better.” Yes, Gonzo and Rizzo are sidekicks, but they’re still distinct personalities that bounce well off each other and “straight-man” Jim. Originally the filmmakers had considered simply having Gonzo and Rizzo being two characters called “Jim” and “Hawkins” respectively (splitting the part in two, not unlike what they did with Statler and Waldorf in The Muppet Christmas Carol), but due to concerns that the choice would result in a lack of heart in the finished product, that idea was scrapped. I think it ultimately was the better decision to leave the drama to the humans -- it’s not that the Muppets can’t conjure sincere emotion (just look at “Pictures in my Head” or “Man or Muppet”), but I still think having any of the existing Muppets fulfill the “coming of age” narrative the original Jim Hawkins goes through would’ve been a bit of a stretch. Even in The Muppet Christmas Carol or non-Muppet-show Jim Henson production Labyrinth, the main characters with a story arc are played by human actors who are able to ground the picture despite the cast of colorful, irreverent characters.

One of the main criticisms that critics of the time lobbed at this movie is that it feels more “Treasure Island” than “Muppet”, and in a way it’s a decent point, if not phrased very badly. Unlike in other Muppet projects, the humor plays second fiddle to the plot and the characters are not the characters we know from the Muppet Show with their Muppet Show backstories and consciousness. In The Muppet Christmas Carol, the film could very easily be seen as a “production” being put on by the Muppets, even if it’s never overtly stated as such, thanks to Gonzo (as Charles Dickens) constantly breaking the fourth wall. In Muppet Treasure Island, however, Gonzo and Rizzo have their own non-Muppet-show history as friends of Jim Hawkins way before ever meeting the other Muppets like Kermit and Sam the Eagle, and Kermit and Miss Piggy have a whole soap-opera romance that involves a wedding and getting marooned by pirates (we’ll get to that later). So yes, this is more “Treasure Island,” but it’s not less “Muppet” -- it’s less “Muppet Show.” These Muppets have different histories, but they’re the same characters despite this. Gonzo is an eccentric thrill-seeker -- Rizzo is a cowardly cynic -- Kermit is a soft-spoken pacifist -- Fozzie is a lovable dimwit -- Piggy is a self-centered diva. Think of Muppet Treasure Island as a Muppet AU fanfiction -- these may not be exactly the characters you know, and yet...they are! They’re the exact same big personalities with the same quirks, strengths, and weaknesses, just in an alternate universe. And honestly, I think it’s really cool, to see these sorts of characters so exclusively used for comedy in a world that’s not flat-out comedic -- one that’s kind of dirty and rough around the edges, with swashbuckling action and real danger around every corner.

The nice thing is that although yes, the comedy isn’t the central focus anymore, there is still really good humor in this film, a lot of it thanks to the shift in tone. There’s just something so very, very funny to me about Billy Bones’s death scene being followed up by Rizzo, Gonzo, and Jim just flat-out freaking out and dashing out of the room screaming like stupid kids, or the tense action scene where the pirates storm into the inn being punctuated by Rizzo trying to help Gonzo load the gun, only to spill the bag of bullets, or the epic entrance of the illustrious Captain Smollett’s carriage ending with the tall, solemn coachman stepping aside to reveal the Captain himself, played by Kermit the Frog. I think it plays into the ideas of subverting expectations and building up a punchline properly before delivering the joke -- as each scene is built up, we’re left constantly unsure if the film’s going to play things straight or just be completely irreverent, and the contrast is what can make a joke much funnier than in a purely, solely humorous scenario. There are a few points where the contrast can become a bit labored, but I laugh so much more during this movie that I ever have watching my favorite reruns of the Muppet Show, no matter how much I enjoy them. It’s something that, again, the Pirates of the Caribbean films would capitalize on much later. (Too bad they couldn’t incorporate that humor into any catchy musical numbers! Disney, where’s my Pirates of the Caribbean musical?)

Aha, and now we come to the brightest of the shining stars in this film -- our villain, Long John Silver, played by the amazing Tim Curry. I’m sorry, it’s an incontrovertible truth that Curry is a unique, magical ingredient that, when added to any movie, just elevates the cinematic dish to a whole new level and leaves you drooling for one more scene with him. I remember someone once saying that Curry is sort of like a Muppet in human skin thanks to his outrageous, yet likable acting, and...yeah, it makes it so that he fits perfectly in this movie, where he has to interact so closely with the Muppets. The nice thing is, though, that he also has a lot of chemistry with his human co-star Kevin Bishop, to the extent that you sincerely feel for the relationship that forms between Jim and Silver even if you know Silver’s intentions from the start. I particularly like their exchange in the ridiculously catchy “Sailing for Adventure,” as well as their scene at the front of the ship where they discuss their fathers and the stars.

Just as the adventure is getting going, however, it stops dead with the wind’s abandonment of the Hispaniola. Out of nowhere, the ship breaks out into the most ridiculous, most “Muppet” of all of the musical numbers, “Cabin Fever.” The song was one of my favorite parts when I was little and it’s always made me laugh, but it’s definitely the biggest detour of the movie that up until that point lived in its own pirate-centric world. It’s a very short-lived detour and as I said, it’s ridiculously funny, but it doesn’t have any bearing on the plot and I could see how people might find it kind of pointless, particularly since it doesn’t even feature three of our main characters, Jim, Silver, or Smollett. One other critique I will give the film is that some of the effects nowadays don’t look very real, like the Hispaniola being composited over still matte paintings -- there are points where the production values remind me a bit of the old Wishbone TV series, where they have to angle the shot just so or get creative just to try to make the ship look as big as it should be. But honestly, there were points where Wishbone impressed me with those same sorts of layering and green-screen effects despite its limited budget, and those cheaper effects don’t look tacky or out-of-place, so I personally don’t mind them that much.

Because this is a Muppet movie, it’s unsurprising that our Mr. Arrow (played by Sam the Eagle) isn’t really killed, instead just being tricked off of the ship by a manipulative Silver, but it says something that, even with that softened plot turn, the stakes are not completely dismantled. We still see the pirates as a legitimate threat when they kidnap Jim and take over the Hispaniola, even when they burst into song. Tim Curry’s “only number,” “A Professional Pirate,” is a perfect expression of his expert, charming showmanship, which in my mind truly can’t be matched by any other performer in Hollywood, past or present. No one gives a performance like Tim Curry. It makes it so that even when I was a bratty kid getting irritated about Silver calling privateer Sir Francis Drake a pirate and using “buccaneer” as a synonym for “pirate,” I would sing this song at the top of my lungs, trying to even reach 75% of the energy Curry put into his vocals.

At long last, Miss Piggy makes her grand debut as “Queen Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal,” a.k.a. Benjamina Gunn. Although the diva doesn’t end up getting much screentime, she certainly gets a grand entrance, complete with an elephant steed decorated with flowers and a full musical number complete with a tribal chant and ethereal vocalizing. And true to form, when she lays eyes on her one true love, Kermit...she smacks him so hard that he’s thrown backwards off his feet and into a gong. What’s particularly interesting about Piggy in this movie is that although she and Fozzie are voiced by Frank Oz as always, both she and Fozzie were actually puppeted by Kevin Clash, as Oz was unavailable during this film’s production, and Oz’s vocals for both characters were added in post-production. Despite the difference in puppeteer, however, both characters are just as likable as ever -- I’d honestly had no clue that they weren’t performed by the same person! The film even got to use the full-bodied remote-controlled puppets for Kermit and Piggy for the love duet “Love Led Us Here,” which is kicked off by an Evita joke I never got as a kid but as an adult makes me grin like a friggin’ idiot. Fortunately the duet is inter-cut with Silver and the pirates finding the treasure, rather than it being chock-full of romantic flashbacks or prolonged looks between the two lovebirds, giving it a lighter tone than it would’ve had otherwise.

With a much reduced crew comprised only of Rizzo, Gonzo, Squire Trelawney, Dr. Honeydew, Beaker, and the newly returned Mr. Arrow, Jim comes to Benjamina and Smollett’s rescue and returns to Treasure Island to face Silver and the pirates. The action scene is full of humor, but because of the world established in the rest of the film, I would argue it still has stakes. The blows still hurt and there’s still a threat of defeat and danger, most notably when Long John Silver prepares to fight. Even if you don’t think the Muppets are going to die persay, you still feel the suspense in wanting to see what’s going to happen next. And when Silver surrenders, he himself can see the real treasure Jim found on his adventure -- a family...a group of people Muppets who will support him and encourage the very best in him.

Silver’s escape scene is a beautifully heart-wrenching scene -- one that could only have been earned by two excellent performances over the course of the film by Kevin Bishop and Tim Curry. Even though both Silver and Jim know that they’re different people and they could never walk the same path, it doesn’t mean that they don’t still greatly esteem and care about each other. In Jim’s case, it’s especially difficult, given that in parting ways with Silver, he has to cut loose of a very poor potential father figure who would’ve only dragged him down in the long run, but who was so likable in his own damaged way. It proves to be a very bittersweet scene sprinkled into a very happy, cheerful ending, complete with the chipper island-inspired end credits bop “Love Power.”

Muppet Treasure Island is -- in my opinion, at least -- one of the best Muppet movies ever made. It broke away from quite a few Muppet conventions, like the characters breaking the fourth wall and being aware of themselves being in a movie or TV show, and embraced a much less humorous tone in both its writing and cinematography. Yes, it reimagined a classic book like The Muppet Christmas Carol did, but this movie took the next step, embracing the world of the original novel as well as the set-up and immersing the Muppets’ cast of characters in it. Although I can see why some people would be more partial to the original Muppet movie formula and love it a lot myself, I really, really respect Brian Henson and the rest of this film’s crew for taking the Muppets in such a different direction. It was an entertaining, action-packed, funny pirate movie before those sorts of movies became popular again, and it remains my favorite “pirate” movie of all time, as well as my personal favorite incarnation of the Treasure Island story (barely beating out Treasure Planet). I know childhood nostalgia can play a role in what media can give you joy as an adult, but I truly don’t think it’s the only factor here -- it’s also just a really good movie, and I can only hope that more people will consider giving it a chance and have just as much fun Sailing for Adventure as I did!