#its gotten to the point where i get second hand embarassment from reading some of the stuff adult therians are saying

[ebonyslasher]

Omg ur Giyu spicy alphabet was so good and its also got me thinkinnn!!! Would u mind maybe doing some hcs of Giyu’s first time with the reader or maybe go into some more details 😁. Thanks for reading if you get along to it 🤭💗💗

Thank you!!! Also, thank you for sending this in!!

First Time HCs: Tomioka Giyuu

18+ under the cut~

There's been this long running guessing game going on in your head. 'Is Giyuu into me romantically? Is he feeling me?...Is he even interested in romance?' Giyuu was a difficult person to study. Unless you've gotten close to him...which you have not. And he looked like the type where it would take a while.

Unbeknownst to you , Giyuu was also asking the same questions about you. He has been wanting to be closer to you, ever since he felt you aura and your strength. So what held him back? Nervousness. Also, second guessing his feelings and his unlikely approach.

Months go by. Missions pass. Interactions between you both become frequent. At some point, you figured that you were stuck in a silent dance around Giyuu. The anticipation and need to have this beautiful man grew with each interaction. You needed to make the dance have some sound. There was a decision to approach him; boldly, directly, and little confusion on your stance.

"Tomioka, you're a gorgeous man. Each time I see you, I get shy. But I want to get to know you more. I want these romantic feelings to flourish with you."

Giyuu is not only shocked but amazed that you had feelings for him, found him attractive, and had the courage to admit it. His beautiful space blue eyes widened. He stops breathing, just for few seconds. His face is very rosy.

Giyuu wants to run and hide. But,he doesn't. It would possibly hurt your feelings and ruin his chance, with such an amazing person like you. "I.....feel the same.."

And from then on, you two started dating. The new experience is awkward, but cute. That dance is still there, but much more enjoyable.

You get to the point where you desire all of him, naked and inside your core. But, you're unsure how to go about it. He doesn't look the type to be interested in sex. This needed some tact. You've been increasingly flirty each passing day, becoming more bold by the day. Lingering touches, bedroom eyes, complimenting his appearance. One day, You decided to be direct as it worked in your favor last time.

"Giyuu, I desire you. I want to share my body with you. Will you share yours with me?"

Giyuu went stone cold and his face burst into a wild blush. Even his hair stood up. To hear you state that so confidently, with that sexy voice....Giyuu starts shaking a little. Then he stops. And then, he actually runs away. Leaving you flabbergasted.

Well, that did go well at all.

-

Giyuu, huddled in his room, kept replaying that scene from just moments ago. "Y/n really said that to me...." You were already incredibly sexy. Beautiful eyes, plump lips, cute nose, and amazing hair. Your bountiful body was just as hard hitting. He had already thought about having sex with you, weeks ago. The first thought about feeling your naked body and sliding into you made him shake. He quickly remembers what happened after.

---

"Uhh...Tomioka?! You don't look so good. Are you okay?" Tanjiro exclaimed, shook by this sudden action.

Tomioka stopped his tremors, more surprised on how the hell Tanjiro showed up there and when. "'M fine."

Embarassing.

----

Tomioka eventually does find you and awkwardly agrees.

"I..yes. Let's do it."

Nervous. His hands are shaky and yours are too. You are both just sitting in front of each other in his bedroom.

Taking the first move, you slowly inch forward and kiss him. He melts onto your mouth. Giyuu adored the feel of your soft. plump lips against his. It relaxes, yet excited him more. He moves his hands to touch you, but awkwardly extends and retracts in hesitation. Damn, he's fucking nervous.

"I wanna try something."

You've never seen this man gawk at anything before. But here he was, mouth agape after you undressed in front of him. And now, his body starts shaking. It makes you freak out.

"Y/n...please..so beautiful...continue.."

"Okay...you undress too."

He hesitates but complies. He starts throwing off his clothes quickly, almost getting stuck a few times during the process. You didn't want to laugh, so you just pursed your lips and stood silent.

Finally he was naked. He felt bare. Vunerable. He slyly moves to cover himself, but you slap his hand away. "You're so sexy."

Getting on your knees, you start to give him a blowjob. Giyuu squeaks a bit in surprise. It was happening so fast! He tried to stifle his moans as you performed. His moans sounded weird to him. But your lips and tongue feels too good lavishing his cock. The spit forming around your mouth was an erotic sight. Giyuu makes the delicious mistake of making eye contact with you and he gets so self-conscious. He quickly adverts his eyes.

To hide his embarassment, Giyuu suggests switching.

"Let me pleasure you"

Tomioka goes down on you. You tasted...fleshy with a bit of twang. He doesn't mind it. It's extraordinarily pleasing to his ears when you moan, it makes him dizzy. The contortions of your body egg him on to lick and suck your labia and clit more. But, you wanted him in your mouth again.

"Giyuu, let's try to 69."

"....69?"

Tomioka doesn't know what that is. But once you two try it, he gets really into it. It makes him more confident and hungry to eat you.

If you have any tattoos, Giyuu becomes obsessed. He loves the colors on your dark skin. He will trace the design as he caresses you.

The inside of you feels like the final victory. Two parts connecting at a loving core. So wet and hot. He feels like crying, but he doesn't.

This feeling was addicting. Giyuu thrust slowly, with such sensuality it makes you kick your feet and scrunch your eyebrows. He could go faster, and he could sense that you wanted him to. But he doesn't. Your body needed to be savored like his favorite meal.

Giyuus' eyes gloss over, as if he was in a sexually induced trance.

As he gets close, he starts chanting your name. You feel yourself getting close too. The momentum was building, his tempo slightly speeding up.

"On my stomach...!"

You finish first, convulsing as you yell out Giyuu's name in absolute pleasure. He pulls out, painting your stomach with his cum.

So much cum too, he covers more than half your stomach. You look down wide eyed at how much he's deposited. "....Amazing!" ,

Ahhhh don't say that!! Now he's embarrassed.....again. Tomioka thought he would have been over the shyness by now. He covers it up by making out with you, sliding his tongue in and out of your lovely mouth.

As much as you loved kissing him, the mountain of his seed was starting to become uncomfortable. It was sliding off your stomach onto your sides and the sheets on the bed.

"Giyuu. I need the bathroom."

You come back and lay next to him. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you close. You both slowly drift off to sleep.

But before you could officially close your eyes, you caught him smiling to himself when he thought you were already sleep.

Sometime after your lovemaking, which continued throughout the rest of the day, you spend the next few days getting presents from Giyuu.

[enjennie]

right here

pairing: jeno x reader

synopsis: lee jeno just wanted to help you with the choreography, but now you can't stop wondering if his lips still feel the same as it did five years ago.

genre: fluff, idol!jeno and idol!reader, mutual pining.

word count: 1.1k

warnings: purposely written in low caps

a/n: this is the part 2 of my first and last. haha enjoy! read part 1 here

your heels sounded against the floor as you strutted around the room, inspecting yourself closely in the mirror. something felt wrong, something is definitely missing. your performance is lacking, and with only one day– or night for that matter, to prepare... you're getting a bit stressed.

your members had clocked off about an hour ago to get their well deserved rest and yet here you are, stuck doing that one move you couldn't quite perfect like you wanted.

with one last wave of your hand and kick of the leg you fall to the floor dramatically. exhausted and frustrated, you are about to have a breakdown when you hear the door creak and your head turns in its direction almost instantly to see who'd caught you in an embarassing state. you hope it's just the security guard telling you to shoo off already.

instead, your eye meets those of a familiar someone's. jeno is in his track pants and red hoodie with his duffel bag swung lazily around his broad shoulders and he's smiling at you.

"hey," you say before getting on your feet quickly to fix yourself up a little. it's been a while since you've seen him, let alone talk to him. korea's beloved idol with the crescent eyes, lee jeno, has charmed everyone since his debut and since then has only gotten increasingly popular. you wonder if he remembers your first kiss. to you, it was as clear as day.

"preparing for the music festival tomorrow?" he states the obvious, walking in before plopping his bag down on the floor. you merely nod, reaching your phone to pause the music that was playing. "yeah i can't seem to get it right,"

jeno looks around, seeing that the only bag belonged to you which meant you've probably been alone for some time now.

"can i see? i could give you some pointers," he walks closer to you, smiling sheepishly. you laugh, tucking a strand of hair that had gone loose behind your ear. "yeah? i don't think so, jeno. performance is a secret until tomorrow," you playfully poke his chest, a habit you somehow still carried with you since you were trainees. his chest is harder than you remember, though. it has you growing flustered and retreating your hands to play with their own.

"then just the parts you're not sure of," he meddles and who are you to say no when he's smiling at you so sweetly? images of when you were younger come flashing in your brain automatically takes you back to the first kiss. it was in a different room, but the same building. first kiss. as if there's ever been a second. (newsflash: there hasn't and you weren't exactly against going for one). for old times sake?

you move without a word, and jeno watches you intently as you carry out the moves with such grace he wondered to himself what the hell you were talking about.

"that was perfect, though," he raises his eyebrow once you finish, confused and ultimately amazed.

you groan, getting on your feet and shaking your head. jeno could see the frustration seeping through and he couldn't blame you. he's one to talk about over working, when he does so himself.

he draws closer to you, trying out the movements himself. "maybe you could extend your arm out more in this part," he directs and you're quick to mimic his actions but it doesn't seem right. jeno's eyes avert to your form through the mirror and shakes his head patiently.

"like this," he places a gentle hand on your waist before putting your arms in place. your heart rate quickens at the sudden space between you both. you can already feel the warmth from his hoodie on your backside and the hand that holds your waist lingers for a second longer before he realizes it too.

the air becomes tense, an unexplainable vibe between the both of you arise and it's something you haven't felt since the moment you both pulled away from the kiss.

"so, like this?"

in your poor attempt at clearing the air, you move your arms again and turn to execute the dance only for you to get tangled in his arms which only constricts the space between you both. great. now you're facing him, and you feel his breath fanning over your face before it hitches in his throat.

jeno breaks out into a grin, chuckling lightly. "i think I'm getting deja vu ,"

he let's you go, and you're almost disappointed to be free from his arms. you wanted to be engulfed in them again almost instantly.

"they say that when you get deja vu, you're exactly where you're supposed to be," you state, just sharing the random fact you have tucked in your brain. jeno looks down at you, an unreadable expression on his face.

"so i'm meant to have you in my arms like this?" jeno wraps his arms around you again, pulling you close to his chest and knocking the wind out of yours.

"lee jeno, are you flirting with me right now?" the sudden confidence was... well, sudden and came out of nowhere. but your heart is going into overdrive and air is needed in your system so you make yourself take a slow breath.

his eyes crinkle when he smiles, face inching closer that you almost want to scream. "would it be so bad if i was?"

no. not at all.

at this point he's so close to you that you can smell the mint gum he'd been chewing, and the cologne he uses. you wanted to close the space between you so bad already, but you were still in his grip.

jeno moves his face closer, before a voice booms from outside the room and has you both pulling apart. it's the security guard, and he's come to throw you out the building. great timing.

"we'll be right out," jeno calls, and that's when you notice how red his ears had gotten.

the both of you rush out of the practice room with no other words other than 'close the lights please' and 'don't forget your phone'. and nothing could have prepared you for the awkward elevator ride down.

the numbers flickered from 3, 2, 1 to G and you both step out.

so is no one going to talk about how you both just almost recreated something that happened five years ago or? no? okay.

"i'll see you tomorrow?" jeno extends a hand out to you. is he about to dap you up? you stare at the hand in confusion before giving it a shake. you've never been more confused in your life.

"yeah," you manage to spit out. he gives your hair a ruffle before turning to head towards the exit. he hasn't done that in a while, and the gesture makes all the blood rush to your head and ears.

great. what was the move again? now you'd have two things on your mind: that stupid choreography and lee jeno.

as you watch his figure disappear into the exit, the boy hangs his head low and mentally curses himself for being a coward and not going for the kiss when he had the chance. you heave a deep sigh, before go on your own way.

part 3 - coming soon.

[wondersofdreaming]

Show Night

Characters: Henry Cavill x female reader

Word count: 1.446

Warnings: Pure fluff. Competitiveness. Blurting. Hidden relationship. A little teasing. Embarassment. 

Author’s note: This is a prequel to Game Night

Thank you @radaofrivia​ for your inspiration, motivation and for guiding me <3

Go read her stories here: Rada’s Masterlist

Divider by @firefly-graphics​

I do not own any characters in this short story, except the reader who is a figment of my imagination.

MASTERLIST

Feedback is appreciated.

“Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we have a very special treat for all of you. We have the entire Justice League here with us. Please give a warm welcome to Gal Gadot, Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Jason Momoa, Ray Fisher and Ezra Miller.”

The entire audience clapped. There were whistling, some were screaming at the top of their lungs. You were cheering just as loud. Watching your handsome boyfriend walk out and wave to everyone. A relaxed smile spread on his lips when his eyes landed on you.

You were at the Graham Norton show. Sitting on the front row. No one knew who you were except the man who owned your body, heart, and soul, and now also Graham Norton and his crew. The producers had wanted you to stay backstage, but you had been adamant on wanting to sit in the audience and watching the show live. They had relented in the end if you promised not to cause a ruckus, which you had sworn.

Graham starts asking questions about the Zack Snyder’s Justice League, and at some point the engagement ring for Amy Adams’ character ‘Lois Lane’ comes into the conversation.

“Did you in fact choose that ring yourself, Henry?” Graham asked and motioned to the monitor behind him, showing a closeup of the ring.

“I didn’t. I actually have no clue where it comes from,” Henry chuckled, his eyes searching for you. You could see he was a little nervous, as he was fiddling with the hem of his suit jacket. You put your hand on your chest and crossed your fingers.

It was your secret sign for him. A sign of your devotion to him, as you had promised to always be there for him. The idea came to you while watching your favourite anime show ‘Fairy Tail’.

“If you ever become nervous or need a reminder, then look towards me or the camera if I am not there. I will you show you this sign,” you had crossed your fingers over your heart, “Even if you can’t see me, no matter how far away you may be, I will always be watching over you.”(1)

It had been a day where Henry had had a long day filled with interviews right at the beginning of your relationship. He hadn’t wanted to ask you to come, which was the reason why you hadn’t attended, thinking he wanted to work in peace. He proceeded to come home and went directly for your lap, falling asleep in 0.2 seconds, and you had asked him to bring you with him to work, as you, an author, could work anywhere.

“… I think it is about time he finds himself a girlfriend, a woman to spend his life with,” Jason’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts. You looked up to see Henry squirming more than before. His jaw was tense as he was forcing a laugh. You felt his pain and wished you could sit next to him and squeeze his hand in yours.

“I have a lot of single friends, Supes. Say the word and I’ll introduce you,” Jason smacked Henry’s thighs with the biggest grin on his bearded face. It may have sounded like a joke to the audience but Henry knew that Jason wasn’t teasing.

“I don’t think my girlfriend will like that you’re playing matchmaker, brother,” Henry smiled. All the actors’ faces fell, even Jason was gobsmacked as his jaw dropped to the floor.

Then Henry noticed what he had just said. His head turned towards you with a look of utter shock. He had just blurted out that he wasn’t single anymore, without having consulted you. Your heart was racing, your secret had been revealed. In some way, it felt like a heavy stone having been lifted from your shoulders.

You didn’t know whether to scold him for not asking you to make your relationship public or to laugh at the horror he was sporting on that handsome face of his. You opted for the second choice, the people around you followed suit and started laughing and cheering.

“Well, you heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen, Henry Cavill is officially off the market,” Graham announced to the camera. “Now, Henry, you have to tell us how you two met.”

“We… eh… met through mutual friends. They were having a game night, and we ended up being paired together for charades,” Henry smiled at the memory. Looking at you, making you fall even more in love with him. Jason and the others noticed where Henry was looking and started shouting for you to join the group.

“Oh yes, please she must join us for the next part of the fun,” Graham pleaded.

Ray and Ezra both stood and went to stand at the edge of the stage. Each man gallantly offered a hand, which you took and was led towards the sofa. Jason moved to make space for you and was wearing a big grin, his eyes shining with glee.

After the rounds of introduction and you told what your occupation was, Graham went to introduce the little quiz game he had conjured. You were each given a button that made a sound. Yours sounded like a pig snorting, while Henry’s was a howling wolf.

“So, the winner gets to take home whatever is underneath this piece of cloth,” Graham said after he had told you the rules. He motioned to the covered box next to him.

“Everyone ready?” he asked. All the actors and yourself said yes. Henry was leaning a little forward, to be ready to push his button.

“First question: Who are the original members of the Justice League?”

You pushed your button faster than anyone, while Henry pushed his so hard it nearly flew off the table.

“Aquaman, Wonder Woman, Batman, The Flash, Superman and Green Lantern,” you told Graham. (2)

“Go girly,” Gal cheered for you. She leaned forward and raised her hand for a high five, which you returned.

“Correct! Question number two: What is the Green Lantern oath?”

*Oink oink*

Again you were the fastest. Everyone watched as Henry let out an annoyed huff, but his face showed nothing but absolute happiness.

“In brightest day, in blackest night, No evil shall escape my sight.

Let those who worship evil’s might Beware my power, Green Lantern’s light. (3)” You quoted.

You felt the other actors starring at you. Jason gave you a side hug and told you that Henry had found not only a beautiful woman but also an impressive one and that he was damn lucky to have you. You had smiled back and felt yourself being pulled back towards Henry’s side. He held a protective arm around you the remaining of the show.

“Seriously, Cavill. Don’t want to compete with your girl?” Jason asked teasingly.

“I’ll gladly just lean back and let her have her time in the light. Besides, I’m already winning because she’s with me,” Henry smiled proudly at you. You heard the entire audience all go ‘awwwwwwwww’, so did the actors and Jason went between you and Henry to hug both of you.

“Third question: In what year was the first Justice League comic book published?”

Again you were quick to push the button.

“Depending on whether you’re talking about the first time they appeared all together which was in The Brave and the Bold #28 (4) and published in 1959, while their very first own comic book series was published in late 1960.” (5)

Henry raised his eyebrows, clearly dazzled by your vast knowledge. 

“Correct again. Seems you know more about the Justice League than the Justice League itself,” Graham joked.

“I didn’t expect anything less from Superman’s girlfriend,” Ben said with an appreciative grin.

You felt Henry moving closer to you, hugging you tighter to his chest. It was the safest you had ever felt, and even though Henry hadn’t gotten one single point, he was still oozing happiness. Happy to have you by his side forever and ever.

“Here is what you’ve won,” Graham handed you the box and removed the cloth. Inside was Funko Pop figurines of every Justice League member.

After the show, you made sure that every single actor signed their respective figure, and you had pictures taken with them to remember the evening.

At home, you arranged the figures with how they look on the poster you had hung on the wall of your office.

“Another win for the team,” you said out loud. Henry walked in and hugged you from behind. He wrapped those big arms around your middle and whispered seductively in your ear:

“I’m the real winner here.”

1. This is a line from Fairy Tail episode 48 by Makarov Dreyar. I changed it a bit to fit the context.

2. Source https://ew.com/books/brief-history-of-the-justice-league-in-all-its-incarnations/ 

3. Source https://greenlantern.fandom.com/wiki/Lantern_Oaths_(Disambiguation) 

4. Source https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/The_Brave_and_the_Bold_Vol_1_28

5. Source https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/Justice_League_of_America_Vol_1_1 

[writingsfromhome]

Winner’s Choice

A/N: I only have series-type ideas in mind, so I’m trying to write out short one-shot type fics instead just to pump the breaks a little. Any ideas are welcome but here’s my go at this: you lost a drinking contest to Harry and winner decides a tattoo for the loser...

--------------

"3...2...1...GO!"

I lift the mug to my face and down the beer, ignoring how it splashes over the new top I had worn today. I should've know going out with Harry & Co meant I was getting messy.

Just a second apart, I slam my mug down.

"That was Harry!" The crowd shouts. "Harry's won!"

"It was tied!" I try to shout, ignoring Harry's smug face as his ego rises with the crowd's voice.

"I say rematch!" I shout.

"Don't be a sore loser, love!" Harry shouts at me. I stick my tongue out and hold my empty mug up, declaring louder I wanted a rematch. My swimming head tries to reason with me that it may not be a good idea but I needed to redeem myself.

Harry and I were good friends, I worked as an actor in the industry he dabbled in. And when he laughed at a stupid joke I made one day a few years ago, I'd latched onto him and we'd just become part of each other's lives since.

I moved across the pond from my childhood town in Maine when I turned 21 for an acting job, and have stayed since flitting from role to role. I missed my family and friends but moving here was also the best thing I did for myself. It did get lonely...which was why meeting Harry was also one of the best things to happen to me. Over the first year of knowing him, his friends became my friends and vice versa. I called them all Harry& Co. especially when I was drunk, all their faces blurred into each other and there were too many of them. Except for Harry. His face always stood out from a crowd. Being around him usually cured the ache I had for home.

"If I go again, you've got to put something on the table." Harry finally agrees. The crowd shouts out inappropriate things I could put down and I flip them off. I catch my friend's eye and she gives me a cautious look but I shake my head. I was having fun tonight.

"Loser gets a tattoo of the winner's choice. Tonight." Harry announces and the group goes crazier. My own mouth drops. I had to win this, knowing Harry he would do something ridiculous like his face on my ass. And this was the first time I lost to Harry, I could do this.

"Deal," I shake on it.

"Wait!" My friend tries to reason with us but we pull our mugs supplied by the crowd, closer to us.

"3...2...1...Go!"

I black out downing it but somehow, Harry's mug clashes down millisecond before mine does. A silence descends the room before Harry laughs. And suddenly everyone is shouting, cheering, throwing out tattoo ideas, and one voice is just shouting long live Harry over and over.

"I...." my mouth doesn't close on it's own, I lost. I rarely lost a drinking contest. But...Harry had me beat.

"Fair and square," Harry maneuvers around the table to sit beside me.

"I lost." I say, dumbstruck.

"It happens to the best of us, eventually." Harry kisses my cheek before jumping up and taking my hand. "Celebration dance."

I let him drag me to the dancefloor, trying to bring my mind back to reality. I was going to get a tattoo. My first. "Harry-Harry!" I try to get his attention. "Nothing ridiculous?"

"No promises," he winks. The alcohol sloshes in my brain as he pulls me into him and moves from side to side.

"Harry!" I shout out.

"You'll see," he grins, enjoying my torture way too much. "Just dance now."

His voice in my ear tickles, and I feel fluttery, far away. Some part of me knows that sober me was going to be pissed at drunk me.

I dance with Harry, following his lead, eventually drifting off to my friends, some strangers, and back to him.

"Should we get that tattoo now?" Harry says in my ear then.

"Maybe..." I try to put on my best convincing voice on. "We should wait for tomorrow."

"Nope!" Harry shouts gleefully. "Let's go now!"

"Nothing's open!" I shout but I was lying and he doesn't believe me for a second. I sigh, and find my friends to say goodbye. They try to tell me I didn't have to follow through but I know Harry would get this done one way or another. I may as well get it done while I was drunk and blame it on that.

The cold outside reminds me I left my coat inside, and when I come back out Harry's jumping up and down to keep warm. It makes me laugh but he quickly tugs on my arm. We run to stay warm towards wherever he decided this was going to happen.

It's a few blocks away, a sterile looking place with crazy colours on the walls that I realise are tattoo designs. The warmth inside the studio makes me shiver and Harry wraps his arm around me as we walk through.

"Harry nothing unprofessional please? I don't want to get fired from a job I don't even have." The cold air had sobered me up a bit and I was starting to regret this even more.

"Don't you trust me?" He asks with a glint to his eye that I didn't trust. "Wait here."

I sit down while he goes to talk to the artist, showing her his phone, pointing to various parts of his body.

"Y/N! Come on!"

I drag my feet over and glare at him as I settle in.

"You'll have to take your shirt off," Harry lets me know.

"You're picking where I get it too?" I ask.

"That's part of the deal!"

"I should've read the fine print," I grumble. Harry shows the artist the side of my rib cage-my shirt was still on but his finger traces a small curve up and down where he wants to place it. It sends butterflies to my stomach.

"Okay," I grab his hand so he could stop doing that. It wasn't helping my nerves. "Let's get this over with. But you can't stay."

"Yes I can," Harry insists. "I make up the rules."

"If I have to take my shirt off, he goes." I look at the girl giving me my tattoo and she shrugs, looking over at Harry. He sighs but agrees.

I take my shirt off and have to hike my bra strap higher, ready to settle into the torture.

"Please tell me it's nothing crude? His face included? Or a stupid message like Y/N hearts Harry?"

The artist laughs, "I'm not allowed to tell you anything apparently but from one girlfriend with a crazy boyfriend to another. It's not. Don't worry, just relax."

I try to tell her Harry wasn't my boyfriend but she turns away and I decide it wasn't worth it. I'd explained that a million times to my own mom who always asked if we'd gotten together yet. It was embarassing, my family back home was convinced we were having a secret affair. I stopped wasting my breath nowadays.

"So, do you get this kind of request often?" I try to make small talk.

"More than you think," the cold of whatever she spreads on my skin makes me shiver. I sort of wish Harry was here, to keep me distracted. I pull my phone out and text him.

"I'm back," his head pops in a few minutes later. The tattoo artist looks to me to make sure I was okay.

"Just talk your usual shit so I don't have to think about what I agreed to," I call out. He sits beside me but he falls silent. When I lift my head to look at him, he's staring at me. "Hey!"

"Sorry, I was thinking about the other tattoos I'm going to beat you into getting."

I roll my eyes, but my skin warms under his gaze. "I'm never agreeing to something like this ever again. You got me while I was weak."

"I'll convince you to get another tattoo again," Harry rolls closer to me. He rests his arms on my leg and leans his head on it.

"My leg's going to fall asleep," I warn him.

"Then we'll put another tattoo there," he smiles.

And back and forth we go, he keeps me distracted, and for the most part, the tattoo process is okay. I'm barely listening as she begins to tell me about its aftercare, she'd already said she would give me a pamphlet and Harry had plenty experience, I could ask him.

"Do you want to see it before I wrap it up?" She asks me. From what I felt, it was at least a few inches long and a bigger tattoo was too scary for me to think about.

"I need something to drink before I look at it," I say. "But I know if I don't like it it's his fault not yours."

"You'll love it," Harry pulls me to him and presses a wet kiss to my cheek. I push him away aggressively and agree to be bandaged. I tell Harry he owed me a few beers before I looked at it and he agrees. He purchases some on our way back to my place along with some food. The train ride home is mostly filled with him gloating but I suffer through it, imaging the worst case scenarios.

Back at my place, I stand in front of the full length mirror in my room, deathly afraid. I had waited nervously, threw back a couple of beers and shoved excessive pizza in my mouth. Harry seems more excited than me for the reveal and finally he joins me upstairs.

"So?" He asks, eyes on me in the mirror.

"Fine." I decide. I peel my shirt off slowly and Harry helps, I try to ignore the way my knees turn into jello at the sight of him doing that. "Fine."

My bra is crooked and I act as casual as possible that Harry is still standing behind me. I slowly peel the bandaging off, Harry comes around to help. I close my eyes as he finishes and count to three in my head. When I see it, my heart stops.

"Do you like it?" Harry asks like a kid on Christmas morning. He's buzzing with nervous excitement but all I can do is stare at the simple tattoo as my heart swells.

A few inches big, covering the side of my ribcage, is a twig of wild blueberries: a symbol of home.

"How did you..." I'm at a loss for words. My first tattoo. I just got my first tattoo, and it was...perfect.

"Well, you're always taking about how you miss home. And you rarely get to go back because of your schedule. And I looked up the official things for Maine, didn't think you wanted a moose so I-"

I shut him up by kissing him; that was the only possible response to this. He'd tricked me into getting the most perfect tattoo and if I was ever unsure before I was sure now that I loved Harry Styles. He knew me. His choice of tattoo made that clear. And I loved him.

"Woah," Harry steadies my shoulders when we part.

"It's perfect," I say, feeling tears well up in my eyes. "I don't know what else to say."

"I should've got you a tattoo a long time ago," he says before kissing me again. I could do this forever, I think, as I bury my hands in his hair.

His hand brushes the open tattoo and I flinch. It didn't hurt, but it was slightly sore.

"Sorry," he apologises against my lips. "We should probably take care of that."

"Ugh, wait." I kiss him one last time. "Where's that info sheet-"

"It's okay, c'mon." He leads me into the bathroom and sits me down on the countertop. I watch as he carefully washes his hands and washes the area. He knows where everything is. His face is scrunched in concetration as he washes and dries it. I marvel at how the evening started with his chaotic public personality to this gentle version here.

"This is gonna be cold," he warns before applying jelly over the whole thing. "Don't sleep on this side."

"I won't. I don't really plan on sleeping at all," I grab his shirt and pull him back up to me. I feel him smile as I kiss him, and he pushes me as far back as I can go before I hit the mirror behind me. I can tell he wanted this as bad as I did, and if it weren't for the tattoo we would be a roughened jumble on my bed right now.

"Bad night for a tattoo," he rests his forehead on mine.

"A tattoo can't stop me," I say. "Let's go." I lead him back to my bed and unclasp my bra. "I probably shouldn't be wearing this anyway."

"Fuck," Harry's mouth hangs open but before I can grow self conscious, he strides over and crashes into me. He doesn't bother with holding back, although he avoids my right side. But it doesn't even matter as I simultaneously forget every sense I have and feel every single nerve in my body at the same time as he takes me to bed.

After, when we lay facing each other on the bed, Harry uses his finger to trace my face. When he reaches my mouth, I kiss his finger. "Thanks. Tonight was...great."

"If you think tonight was great, wait until your tattoo heals." He swipes down my nose.

"I was only talking about the tattoo," I tease. "The rest of the night was...okay."

"Okay?" He immediately perches up.

"Yeah. Like...a 6 out of 10?"

He turns on his back and laughs, "You're in so much trouble. You better watch what you say next!"

"I'm not afraid of you--you had your chance with the tattoo and you chose something lovely."

He turns back to me, pressing a kiss to my lips. "You have to trust me."

"I do...usually." I smile. Harry rests his hand on my hip and zones out, his mind elsewhere. The silence stretched out and I can't help but ask.

"So...tonight isn't like, a one time thing right?" I was going to wait to ask but my nerves needed to be soothed. I also didn't want things between Harry and I to be in a gray area. He meant too much to me.

"No, unless...you want it to be?"

"No!" I nearly shout. "Only the tattoo part. Everything else, I'd like again."

"Okay, good." He slides closer to me under the duvet. "Because I wouldn't mind putting a label on this and-"

"Done." I say, not caring how eager I sounded because the grin that splits his face shows the same eagerness.

I mentally apologise to all the people I scolded who asked when Harry and I would get together. As I nuzzle my head into his chest, and he drapes his arm around me, I just think about how right it feels and why I didn't do it sooner. Tonight was a crazy night of bad decisions but every single outcome was perfect.

"I love you Y/N," Harry says after a while, I thought he'd already fallen asleep. I peek out from my position and his eyes are closed. I wait a moment but they remain closed.

I snuggle back in and suppress the urge to squeal. This night felt too good to be real, like I would wake up tomorrow morning and realise it was all a drunk-hallucination. And on the off chance that might be true, I wrap myself tighter against him and whisper the words back, hoping that he was awake enough to hear them.

When his arms tighten around me, I fall asleep happy, knowing he knows too. Maybe tomorrow morning, I would say it again.

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

could you please help type me? im 22 and most everything i will mention will be recent. i am a slow learner where i need the entirety of information for anything to make sense at all. ie i didn't understand fe-fi for a year before i saw one single sentence on your blog and i heard a clicking sound in my head. before that i was on point 0 no matter what. problem is the opposite is also correct where i am convinced i know something but i read one sentence and go 'i didn't know anything at all apparently' when i read that one sentence on your blog i started studying everything from scratch.(1)

it actually gave me a weird anxiety where i genuinly shut off for a while and couldn't concentrate on anything but trying to understand the functions. the more i couldn't understand it, the more i ignored everything else. i pretty much stopped sleeping at some point. but when i decide on something somehow everything feels related to that and i'm like 'ah finally i will know some peace'. this is a very bad explanation but yeah. certain things i think genuinly feel like an attempt of me finding 'relevant things' so i can convince myself, which is why i came to you for help because at this point i have no idea, and the confusion is angering me.(2)

one of my worst qualities is scolding people, specifically for how they behave. i do this a lot where i think you have to behave a certain way in certain situations, you must. i'm trying to work on myself but i genuinly feel like certain things are just inappropriate to the point where i Must interfere, which is something everyone around me hates. i have a tendency to believe that I just know how it must be, so i explain to people how they must be acting. 'you do this which makes people feel like this, which will result in this'is a constant in my life. i also feel second hand embarassment from pretty much anything.(3)

i think my sensing function is last because it genuinly feels like i cannot see. feels kind of dissociative sometimes, like i'm not there. i am completely seperate from the outside world and to some extent, from myself. moreso environment tho. although i cannot always understand that i actually have a body. that has needs. i don't ever realize i'm cold, for example, until someone tells me my hands are freezing. even then its more a fact then me actually realizing im cold. people also ask me if i'm ok a lot because i just straigh up look like i'm not there at all. (4)

i'm completely lost on the n function, i thought i had ne because i explain things as other things a lot, so that to me was ne. i just cannot explain something without giving an example of something else that is completely irrelevant, which sounds like absolute gibberish apparently. like, feathers? protection. enneagram 3? rafiki and simba, for some fucking reason. and i honest to god wouldn't have understood ennea 3 if it wasn't for 'rafiki holding simba up is 3s inferiority complex. the zebras bowing is the superiority complex. they will do anything to avoid simba, the inferiority feelings, so they bow down, as in whatever simba says goes just so they can live. the shadow simba cannot go is their denied shame.' otherwise i cannot understand it.(5)

more things: i am a massive hoarder of things i don't want. books are the number one things tho i hoard pretty much anything. i love reading but most i read is things i dont care about. i have over 800 books and most is things i buy because i see sth and my immidiate reaction is 'some random stranger on the street will question me on this 4 years later' so i buy books. i think, 'if i do not know this, i will straight up die.' i do not interact with people unless i know for sure i can like, talk about Anything that has ever existed, ever.(6)

im prone to many identity crisises and i overthink. i also am constantly swayed from actual interests i have. i make long lists of what to read or where to go and 0 percent of it is based on what i want. it's just me thinking i don't know much history so i should visit every museum and i don't know science so i should read every book etc. i decided to learn guitar and i have barely touched it because i'm learning music theory first aswell as the entire history of rock music and i have to memorize every chord before i am allowed to touch the guitar itself. same thing happened with drawing. with violin. even when im dressing i'm like 'what if someone asks me if i know enough about this band and i dont so then i have to move countries???' so i do not wear it. i get actual stomachaces lol. (7)

i am not competitive but also feel embarassed a lot. i won't put myself forth and usually want to not be seen but i also get offended if someone is better then me, specifically in a field of my knowledge. if i meet someone who has similar interests/knowledge as me i ignore them or the topic for fear that they might know more then me. i hate change unless it is controlled. like sudden news or travel plans are a nightmare and they cause a lot of anxiety but i also am okay with changing things up if i am in complete control of how it will go. that seems to be it. thanks. (8)

--------------------------

Hi anon,

So this isn’t limited to you but whenever people are like “my anxiety over typing myself has genuinely impacted my quality of life” it is something that makes me want to stop typing that person. It feels like I’m enabling a habit that is explicitly not good for them, and it shows up to an extent that is frankly alarming and I really, really hope it is exaggeration and that me saying this will shut it the fuck down in questions that I get. Based on some of the other things you’ve said, if you have not gotten assessed for anxiety you probably should have someone check that out (and if you have, I would spend time working on it and take a break from typology in the meantime), and that makes it pretty much impossible for me to type your enneagram, but I can still do MBTI although the anxiety makes it difficult to determine extroversion and introversion.

With that out of the way, probably one of the xNFJs:

Scolding people is often high Fe behavior, and especially in the way you describe it (as based in how other people will feel about the behavior). It’s difficult to assess beyond that without explanations; scolding people over something like racism is hopefully something a decent person of any type can get behind, whereas scolding people over many other things is just Fe. Based on what you said about needing to be control over changes and this idea of needing total understanding of anything before engaging with it also really does not sound in line with perceiving, which often thrives when jumping in without total preparation.

Either of the intuition functions would see things as other things and tend to engage via metaphor and theme, and the other things you mention as evidence of low sensing seem appropriate for high Ni as well.

[scribbles97]

Left Behind -- Chapter 11

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 / Chapter 10 / Chapter 11 / Chapter 12 / Chapter 13

Read On Ao3

You may need the tissues for this one...

Their Passing Out Parade wasn’t anything like the one she, Jeff, Val, and Lee had experienced in the air force. It was still a big ceremony, carried out in the courtyard between the residential building and the training buildings on the farm that Lucy and Lee had inherited from their parents. She and Jeff had spent plenty of time there with the boys during its transition to the main IR training ground, and she was glad he had made her keep the little corner around the original farm house separate from the rest of the changes. 

If nothing else it was simply another comforting reminder of him to fill the empty space. 

Plus it gave her and the family somewhere to stay for events such as Passing Out. 

“Alan! Gordon!” She yelled up the stairs, “I want the pair of you down here in five minutes dressed and ready to go!”

“Lucy,” Tanusha pursed her lips as she appeared at the top of the stairs, “Gordon isn’t here, he left at five this morning.”

Sighing in exasperation she resisted the urge to run her hands through her hair, Hugh would murder her if she messed up the twisted updo he’d spent an hour creating for her over breakfast. 

Looking up the stairs she shook her head, “Never have kids, Tan, you will spend your life chasing them away from places they’re not meant to be.”

She laughed, holding her side gingerly as she made to walk down the stairs, “I wasn’t planning on it any time soon Lucy, don’t worry.”

The younger woman’s dress was black and clung tightly to her body, the only splash of colour the green earrings and necklace that matched her eyes. Lucy had to smile as she stepped off of the bottom step, Tin’s heels making her almost as tall as Lucy. 

“You be careful tottering around in those,” She warned gently with a smile, “the last thing you need is to pull your stitches.”

Tan smiled, shaking her head at Lucy, “I’ll be fine,” Her eyes darkened as she glanced back up the stairs, “It’s Dad we need to keep an eye on.”

Reaching out to squeeze her shoulder, Lucy smiled, “Don’t worry, Val’s going to keep her eye on him today.”

Both turned as the front door creaked open, stiff and old on its hinges. Lucy squinted against the bright light of the sun outside, and then sighed as she realised the person in the doorway was far too tall to be Gordon.

“Hey Mom,” Scott murmured softly as he stepped in, already dressed in his best suit, IR tie hanging loose around his neck, “I don’t suppose we’ve got any aspirin do we?”

“I’ll tell you if you tell me how late you were all up partying until?” She smiled, smoothing out the shoulders of his midnight blue jacket. 

For all he looked exhausted, there was still the spark in his eye, and a cheeky smile on his face. It was tradition for the graduating cohort to spend the night before their ceremony celebrating so the following night could be spent with their family and friends. The barbeque and party that followed the passing out always went on to the late hours and it was perhaps a testimony to the graduates' endurance that they managed to survive both. 

“Well, most of us went to bed around three,” He sighed, ruffling the back of his hair as he turned to the kitchen, Lucy followed, noting how Tan slipped away back upstairs silently. 

“I couldn’t really get to sleep though,” Scott continued as he grabbed a glass and filled it with water, “Kind of had a lot in my head.”

She knew what he meant, the night had been unsettled for her too, full of thoughts and reminders that she had wished she could have blocked out. 

“He’ll be damn proud of you,” She whispered, leaning on the corner of the table and tugging at the waist of her own dress so it sat right, “He’d been looking forward to today for months.”

Scott snorted as he set the half empty glass down on the side, “I bet he’d have said something in his speech to embarass me.”

Lucy had to smile, “And who says I haven’t got that area covered?”

He laughed, still not looking back to her as he took a long breath in, shoulders straightening as he did. She had expected the day wouldn’t be easy, that it wouldn’t pass without a few tears from a number of parties. The Board had approached her about a moment's silence during the ceremony to remember the founder, but that simply hadn’t been Jeff’s way. They had come to the agreement that a minutes cheering would be a better memorial for the man who had been so loud and ambitious in his life. Jeff would not want to be mourned, but celebrated. 

“Shit, Mom.” He breathed, one hand reaching up to his face, “It wasn’t meant to be like this.”

Any other time and she might have scolded him for his language, but she knew he was hurting in a very specific way. 

Going over to him, she wrapped an arm around his shoulders and squeezed tight, “It wasn’t Scotty, but he’d want us to enjoy the day regardless. What would he say about us mourning him on a day we should be celebrating you?”

Scott nodded, wiping at his eyes, “You’re right. Celebrate today, and after that keep making him proud.”

She turned him to face her, cupping his cheek as she wiped away the last of his silent tears. Her smile was tight and forced as her heart ached for both her husband and her sons. It was a point well made though, it wasn’t a day for mourning, no matter how much it felt like it. That day would come later. They were celebrating the achievements of their eldest that day, and a party would soon be in order to distract them all. 

“Hey Scooter!” Gordon’s voice was loud and bright as Lucy pulled away from the eldest to look at the second youngest. 

His bond hair was wet, and flipflops squeaked and squelched as he walked across the tiles of the kitchen. The towel over his shoulder was a dead giveaway as to where he had been that morning.

“Gordon you need to be ready in two minutes! Today was not meant to be a pool day!”

He shrugged, taking the remainders of Scott’s drink and downing it in one, “I lost track of time, and what’s the point in having a double olympic pool if I can’t practise in it?”

“Go!” She snapped, perhaps a little harder than necessary, “Shower, suit, tie.”

“Yes Ma’am.” The younger son mocked before turning and scampering away. 

Scott was biting his lip as he shook his head, “Force him onto the training program, that would be a shock to his system.”

She had to bite her lip. Today wasn’t the day to announce that two more of Scott’s brothers were following him through the training program. It was the eldests day of celebration, not Gordon and Virgil’s.  

“Let’s not go there,” She sighed, turning to the stairs, “Now, aspirin. I take it you don’t just need some for you?”

He grinned, “The others always did love it when you came with care packages for everyone.”

Lee had always rolled his eyes when she had shown a soft spot for their trainees, but it was simply in her nature to care for all those around her. If the trainees were away from home, often in an entirely different part of the world to where they were from, if she could help make them just a little bit less homesick, it was worth it. 

“I’ll see what I’ve got.” She grinned, “After today what will they do?”

Scott chuckled as he followed her up the stairs, “No idea, Mom. No idea.”

***

Gordon had eventually gotten ready, wrestled into his suit by Tanusha and Virgil. Scott had ended up being late to get across to the graduates registration, getting distracted in helping Alan with his tie. Lucy hadn’t realised how late in the morning it had gotten until Sally, Lee and Val had arrived at the farm house when Lucy had intended on sending Virgil and John to meet them across at the base’s landing strip. 

So it had been unintentional but entirely appropriate that they had made their way across together as a family to the courtyard. 

It felt foreign for Lucy to be sat up on the stage with the board at her side and graduates behind her. She was all too used to being sat in the audience with the rest of her team and family, watching the new recruits as they fidgeted waiting for their badges. Instead she was watching her family, Gordon and Alan sat between Virgil and John, Tanusha and then Kyrano sat next to Virgil followed by Val and Lee. Sally, Penelope and Hugh sat on John’s other side sharing knowing smiles and quiet murmurs of conversation. Lucy could guess the topic, in a few months time both Kayo and Penelope would be twenty-one and old enough to receive their badges in a much quieter intimate ceremony with only the closest family around. Not the whole world needed to know exactly who IRs security fell to. 

Before she had known it the Board around her had been standing and she had followed suit, cheering and whooping along with the crowd as the familiar roar of an engine she had helped design neared. The sight of Thunderbird One swooping low through the sky above them proved too much for her, the tears she had been holding back breaking free at the sight of the first Thunderbird, her husband’s ship. She didn’t dare look down at the rest of the family in that moment, hoping they were all also distracted for the moment. 

And then, all too soon, she had had to step forward and say her part. The part that should have been Jeffs. 

As he always did, she spoke of how each graduate brought something different to the team, naming names and retelling teasing stories of their time in training. Being their son Scott was spared until last, but by far not spared in terms of the classic cat in a tree rescue across town only two weeks into his basic training four years prior. Breaking a branch on the tree and ending up stuck there as the cat had jumped down had been a huge amusement at the time to his fellow cohort. It was only that Jeff had been in the area at the time and heard the commotion that the father had arrived to rescue his eldest son. 

No, Scott wasn’t ever going to live that down. 

Roles had been called out first, followed by the few names of the students that had specialised to each area. The single Astronaut of the group, Ridley O’Bannon, followed by the three communications specialists, and eight EMT specialists. The field agents and first responders were always the last to approach her to receive their badges, always the biggest group with at least fifteen students in their ranks.

Scott was the last to step up. 

She paused a moment for him, holding his hand as she set the badge in it for longer than would have been acceptable for anyone else. There was a sheen in his eyes as he turned his hands to hold hers, nodding slightly as he swallowed. 

Both couldn’t help but laugh at the screaming cheers from their family, by far the loudest of all the graduates that day. 

Turning back to the crowd, Lucy gestured out to the huddle of former students, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the newest members of International Rescue.”

***

Scott was quick to pull his beer from his lips as Ridley went to walk past. Grabbing John by the arm, he dragged his younger brother with him towards her, calling as they went, “Ridley!”

“Scott!” John protested, “The hell are you doing?”

He grinned as they stopped right next to the short, dark haired woman, “Introducing you to a fellow astronaut, little brother.”

Ridley was facing them, blue eyes bright even in the dimming evening light as she grinned up at Scott, “How many have you had, Flyboy?”

Looking to John, Scott shrugged, “I’m making up for John, here, he doesn’t drink.”

“I do drink,” John corrected him, waving the bottle in his hand, “Just not like you do.”

Shrugging again, Scott took another swig of his drink, still grinning as he stepped back, “Astronauts, engage.” 

As he vanished back into the crows he could virtually hear John shaking his head with an utterance of, “I’m sorry you had to put up with him for four years.”

Chuckling to himself, Scott shook his head as he returned to the queue for food. Eliott and Tina stopped him half way there, the equally drunk twins introducing their parents and discussing the EMT and comms role they were about to take up in Europe. Scott promised to visit if he were ever in the area, knowing he would miss the company of the group he had spent most of the last four years living with. 

Virgil joined him as they approached the barbeque, raising his eyebrows at his older brother,

“What were you doing to John?”

Scott shrugged, glancing back to where the two astronauts were still talking just as Ridley threw her head back and laughed. 

“Introducing him to someone with similar interests, teaching him how to be social.”

Virgil sighed and shook his head, “Stop trying to set him up Scott, he’s ace, it doesn’t work like that.”

He hadn’t intended anything like that. 

“No,” He shook his head, regretting it was the world spun, “No Virgy, it’s just… Johnny’s always in his books. Penny said at Oxford she had to drag him out for fun, but who gets him out now, huh? He needs company.”

Virgil was shaking his head, apparently much more sober than Scott despite the bottle in his hand.

“John is capable of finding his own company Scott.” Virgil sighed as they collected a couple of burgers from the chef on the grill, “Why don’t you focus on finding yourself a girlfriend instead of trying to set the rest of us up?”

Scott’s face twisted. IR had been his focus for years, sure he’d flirted with girls in town, had short flings with one or two of them. Yet somehow they all just lacked something that he needed. 

His shoulders fell as they turned to the sauces, studying had taken over his life without realising it. All of a sudden he was the wrong side of twenty-five and still as single as the rest of them. 

“No,” Virgil moaned, “don’t take it like that, you’ll still have leave to find someone. Don’t get all mopey about it on me.”

He glared, “I wasn’t getting mopey.”

“Sure you weren’t.” Virgil uttered, turning them back towards the table their family had been occupying, “That’s like saying Gordon isn’t sneaking alcohol.”

Frowning, Scott glanced around for his younger brother, “He is?”

“Grandma’s on the case. Don’t go all smother brother on me.”

Both paused as they approached the table, frozen in sync by the same sight. 

Lord Creighton-Ward had his arm around their mother. 

Their mother was laughing at something he was saying. 

Something he was whispering in her ear. 

“That’s…” Virgil trailed off, slowly shaking his head, unable to find the words. 

“I suddenly feel sober.” Scott murmured, looking down to his burger, “Really sober.”

“Me too.” Virgil took a breath, “What do we do?”

Scott tried to find an answer. Wracked his brain for something to say, some grand rescue plan just like he’d been taught. It would have to be delicate, Mom was still fragile, and Hugh was apparently a closer friend than they had realised. 

Before he could come up with something coherent, Aunt Val swept past them, her grey dress floating past as she made a beeline for their mother. A whispered word, a shared smile between the two women, and Mom was making her excuses to the man she had been sat with. 

The brothers shared an exhale, their shoulders sinking in synchronization. 

“Thank you Aunt Val.”

“You can say that again,” Scott agreed quietly, glancing back to the party, “I think I need another drink.”

Virgil looked to the bottle in his hand, “Is there anything stronger than this going?”

He was relieved that Scott nodded, easily distracted by the mention of more alcohol. His big brother set his plate down on the nearest table and pointed at it,

“You stay here, I’ll be back with some real drinks.”

He feared slightly for what Scott meant, but was too dazed to think to ask as he obeyed the command and plonked himself in the seat by Scott’s food. Lost in his own thoughts he began to pick at his own plate in front of him. 

Scott was an IR First Responder now. In a matter of days he would have his hands on Dad’s ship and be flying the missions their father had taken on thousands of times. Yet, he had never felt any anxiety for their father. 

The thought of Scott going out though filled him with a new sense of fear. What if something happened to him the same way it had Dad? 

Virgil had seen the determination in his eldest brother when Dad had vanished. It was a drive he hadn’t ever seen from him before and it scared him to think that one day Scott may lose himself to that drive. What if in his determination to make Dad proud, Scott forgot when to stop?

Mom and Dad were always so busy working those days, either the business or IR needing their attention. Sure, they still made time for their sons, still ensured that they were there for their family. Scott was new to the game though and so eager to prove himself and please everyone. What if his big brother got so caught up in his new job that he forgot the rest of them?

“Virg?” Gordon interrupted his thoughts, “Woah, bro, are you crying? Come on, I thought we agreed this morning that we were celebrating? Strictly no crying allowed.”

He hadn’t realised the tears that had snuck out onto his cheeks as he shook his head, “I’m good, honest.”

Squishing up on the bench next to him, Gordon raised an eyebrow, “You’re drunk, aren’t you?”

He had to scoff, “Like you’re not?”

“Only had half a beer,” He shrugged with a grin, “I’m good. Now, whatcha cryin’ ‘bout? Don’t tell me you’re going all sentimental like Grandma?”

“No,” He shook his head, fighting the smile at Gordon’s guess, “It’s nothing, honest.”

“What he means Gordy,” Scott announced his return as he set three drinks down on the table, “Is that it’s nothing for younger brothers to worry about and leave the adults here to talk.”

Gordon scoffed, “I’m not thick you know, I know he’s worried about you going to fly Dad’s ship.”

“I am here.” Virgil waved looking between them. 

Gordon ignored him, “What I’m trying to work out is what he’s going to say when I tell him that I’m going to be in the next cohort.”

“What!?” Both older brothers blanched at him, the news hitting home suddenly despite the haze in their heads. 

“No,” Virgil shook his head, “You can’t-- you’re… I’m going on the next cohort.”

“You are?” Scott looked to him, “Why did neither of you say?”

“No way!” Gordon grinned, “Mom didn’t tell me! We can be study buddies!”

He was suddenly wishing that he failed the entry tests, four years studying next to Gordon was enough to put anyone off of anything. The work was going to be intense enough without a younger brother pesting for help every five minutes.

“I hadn’t decided for sure I was going to join yet,” Virgil sighed, “Alice got on, but I’ve not been told yet officially.”

Gordon laughed, “Brilliant! Alice is great, do you think she’ll be part of our study group too?”

“Wait,” Scott held up his hand, “How come you get on it so early? You haven’t finished highschool yet.”

Virgil knew exactly how. The prospectus had changed that year, a new method of studying alongside a college course of the students choice. 

It seemed Gordon was going to be one of the first on the new program. 

“Great,” He sighed, “So now I’ve got two of you to worry about.”

“Hey,” Scott’s hand clasped his shoulder slightly harder than necessary, “You don’t need to worry Virgy. Nothing’s gonna happen out there, all the equipment had a million percent safety margin, and it’s literally all I’ve trained for for the last four years.”

“Yeah,” Gordon chipped in, “And in a few years we’ll be there to keep him outta trouble too!”

He wasn’t entirely convinced, but he was tired, and drunk, and just part of him wanted to believe what they were saying was true. 

“Yeah, alright,” He smiled, “I guess you guys are right.”

“Of course we are,” Gordon grinned, drawing the drinks Scott had brought towards them, “I propose a toast.”

“A toast,” Scott repeated as he raised his glass of dark amber liquid, “To the best team I could ask for, hurry up and get here.”

Both Virgil and Gordon laughed as they raised their matching glasses to meet Scott’s with a clink. 

“Right behind you Scooter.” Virgil nodded, “We’ll be with you before you know it.”

He hoped silently that it would be soon enough.

[saveyourblood]

Stolen Dance | Ch. 10

Summary: “Maybe this was a pipe dream, a delusion you’d soon awake from or a phase you’d outgrow. You didn’t really care. For a brief moment in time, you were in love. That’s what you chose to care about. That what you made matter.”

The one where you’re a paramedic, he’s an FBI agent, and the time you spend together is borrowed.

Notes: Happy quarantine, US (and some international?) readers! I know most of you in school still have classes, but in case you’re bored, here’s some reading ;)

Word Count: 3.9k

Song: Make This Go On Forever - Snow Patrol

Warnings: mentions of abuse, violence, just general angst. 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

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“No special uniform?”

You smiled, setting your bag on your chair. 

After 2 weeks of intensive training, you were officially certified and capable in the eyes of the FBI. You and everyone else on the team knew you’ve been capable since the start; the only difference is now, the Bureau can’t be held legally responsible if you get hurt on the job. 

For the first time since you were hired, you came in wearing your normal attire — black pants, a fitted grey t-shirt, and a pair of boots. You kept your badge clipped to a belt loop, and it was the only accessory you wore identifying you as a paramedic. No more sticking out like a sore thumb. 

“Now that I’m a Federal Agent, I don’t have to,” you answered Derek’s question. 

You brushed past the man, pouring yourself a cup of coffee. You looked into the bullpen to see Spencer sitting at his desk, lost in thought. You felt him leave early in the morning — something about getting a jumpstart on paperwork.  

He looked tired. You reminded yourself to bring him a fresh coffee later. 

“What’s going on?” Emily asked as she entered the kitchenette. 

“Y/N is a Federal Agent now,” Derek boasted.

“Well, congratulations, Agent Y/L/N,” Emily said. She offered you her mug in a toast.

With a chuckle, you clinked your mug against hers, doing the same to Derek’s when he offered. 

“Ah! Good,” Penelope exclaimed from across the room. Her heels clicked on the platform looking over the bullpen. “You’re all here. We have a case.” 

You sat between JJ and Emily at the briefing table. You scrolled through the files on the tablet in front of you, reading some of the police reports while you waited for Hotch and Garcia to enter.

“Hey, are you gonna be okay?” JJ asked in a low voice.

You frowned, looking up at her. “Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“Spencer mentioned you went to visit a friend a few weeks ago,” she specified. “Said the two of you served together?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I did.”

“And everything went… fine? Good?”

You nodded again, smiling faintly. “It was good. I learned a lot about him, actually.”

JJ smiled as well. “I’m glad,” she said, patting your shoulder. “And I’m glad you’re back, too.” 

“Sorry for the delay,” Hotch apologized as he entered the room. “Let’s get started.”

Garcia was already at the end of the table, picking up the remote and clicking a few of it’s buttons. “Two men have been killed on the Southside of Chicago in the last ten days. The first is Michael Crowley — he was a repairman who was out late jogging one night. Second, Anthony Rango. He was a convenience store owner.” 

“No known connection between them,” Hotch interjected.

“Both men were beaten to death; Rango suffered a crushed larynx and something called a lefort fracture?”

“It’s a bilateral horizontal facial injury,” you specified.

“Looks like there was also some blunt force trauma to the back of the head,” Derek said. 

“So they were blitz attacked to gain control, then it was essentially fisticuffs,” Spencer theorized. 

“And they were both caught with their pants down,” Garcia said. “Like, literally, their pants and boxers were pulled down to their ankles.”

“But there’s no signs of sexual assault or robbery,” you stated. 

“So it was a message,” Rossi concluded.

“Either they led personal lives, or someone wanted to symbolically demean or embarass them,” Hotch said. “With this level of hands-on violence, this UnSub is filled with rage, and he’s probably just getting started. Wheel’s up in 30.”

“Wow,” Derek said, walking into the convenience store. A rack of bread and chips was knocked over, product spewn across the floor and crushed under the weight of either the metal or a body. There was a smear of blood on the floor that led to the frame. 

“Rango put up a fight,” you noted. “It looks like he regained consciousness at some point, probably soon after the initial attack.”

“He put up a hell of a fight,” Derek agreed. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, dialing a number and putting the device to his ear. “Baby girl, see if the convenience store owner had any military training.”

After a brief conversation, Derek thanked Garcia and hung up.

“So we were right?” You asked.

“But to intentionally pick a fight with a martial artist?”

You shrugged. “It’s possible he didn’t know. Rango could have been a victim of opportunity, like the jogger was.”

“Looks like our guy needed a drink after the beatdown,” Derek said, gesturing to the wine bottles on the floor. “He must’ve worn gloves, otherwise CSI would have taken them in for prints.” 

You looked up at the ceiling to notice a security camera. You went behind the counter, grabbing a napkin as you went. 

“He could have been an addict,” you said, pressing ‘eject’ on each DVD tray that hooked up to the surveillance system. “It would explain the impulsive behavior.” 

Derek clicked a few buttons on the cash register behind you. “You ever met an addict that left a full register?”

Each tray came out empty.

“He stole the discs before he left,” you said. “He was mission-oriented.” 

“Soda and candy were the last things bought,” Derek said, reading a receipt.

“Kids, probably,” you mentioned. “They’re lucky they didn’t get hurt.” 

The two of you began poking around the store, looking for details that local law enforcement may have missed. You mostly stayed behind the counter while Derek paced around the sales floor.

“Is it true you grew up around here?” you asked, looking through a few binders you found under the register. 

“5 blocks away,” Derek confirmed. “We passed the park I played football at on the way here. The corner down the street is where I played kissy-face with my first girlfriend.” 

“How old were you?”

“Ten.”

You laughed softly, then considered. “How did you make it out of here?” 

He looked up. “What do you mean?” 

You shrugged. “Junction City isn’t very big — after awhile, it felt like the Army was my only option. Which I was fine with, but… I don’t know. Chicago is a big city, but Southside seems to be a world of its own. I’m just curious how a cute little black boy from Chicago turned into one of the Bureau’s finest agents.” 

Derek scoffed with a smile. “Believe me — I wonder too.” 

His phone rang in his pocket. After taking off a glove, Derek answered it. “Hey, what’s up? Find anything at the diner?” 

Pause.

“What’s it say?”

His entire demeanor changed. His gaze darted around the store, absentmindedly lowering his phone. 

“Give me a second,” Derek mumbled into the phone.

“Derek?” you asked, coming out from behind the counter. “What’s wrong?”

Without answering, Derek stood up and walked over to the front door. He partially pulled down the security curtain, which was made of solid metal. 

“I gotta go,” Derek said before hanging up.

“‘Look up to the sky?’” you read the painted-on words. “Does that mean something to you?”

“Let’s go,” was all Derek said before ducking under the curtain and exiting the store.

“I know what this is about,” Derek said, walking into the room the station reserved for the team.

Spencer, Hotch, and Rossi had been there the whole time, while Emily and JJ seemed to have just gotten back from the diner. You followed Derek into the room, completely unaware of what was happening.

“This is about Carl Buford,” Derek stated.

Like in most situations, you gradually moved over until you found yourself next to Spencer; he was leaning against a table off to the side. You decided to simply stand next to him, your arms folded across your chest.

“Who’s Carl Buford?” you whispered, making sure Derek couldn’t hear you.

“A serial killer and molester,” Spencer said. “We arrested him almost seven years ago for the murders of three prepubesent African-American boys. He framed Derek for the last murder he committed.” 

“Carl Buford is in prison serving a life sentence,” Hotch reminded. 

“‘Look up to the sky’ is what he used to tell me,” Derek said. “Buford was an expert… at spotting and exploiting vulnerabilities of adolescent boys that he coached at the community center. He had the entire community center thinking he was a hero — parents, teachers… cops. Everyone. After my dad died, he locked onto me. And he manipulated me into compliant victimization. I’ve told you how I got into it with a local gangbanger when I was younger. Well, somehow, Buford got it expunged. I didn’t understand why a guy who barely knew me would do that. But… Buford gave me his time. He taught me how to play football. And then, one day… he took me to his cabin on the lake.”

“Morgan, you don’t have to do this,” Hotch said.

“They need to know, Hotch,” he disagreed. “They need to know this guy’s M.O.”

The room was dead silent.

“Buford built up my trust,” Derek continued. “And then he would lower my inhibition… with Helgason wine. And then… he would molest me. And every time he saw that dead look in my eye that said I wanted him to stop, he would just say ‘you better man up, boy. Look up to the sky.’”

“Did you ever tell anyone about that phrase?” you asked gently.

He shook his head. “No.”

“We’re probably looking at someone Buford abused,” Rossi said. 

“The victim could harbor a great deal of anger if he didn’t deal with his own abuse,” Hotch agreed. “With the right trigger, it could develop into this kind of rage.” 

“Buford ran the community center for years,” Spencer said. “An offender like him could have hundreds of victims.” 

“Let’s talk victimology: each of these men had interactions with kids right before they were killed,” Hotch said. 

“The killer switched from white victims to African Americans,” Rossi noted.

“You’d think if they were surrogates, he’d kill only black men,” Hotch agreed, already punching a number into his phone. “Garcia? I need you to compile a list of boys who played football at the community center twenty to thirty years ago.” 

“Excuse me, ma’am?” someone asked. 

You turned around to see an officer you didn’t recognize. He was middle-aged, but young compared to most of the other men on the force. “What can I do for you?” 

“You’re with the FBI, right?” 

You nodded. “That’s right.”

“Detective Gordinski wants these handed to your supervisor,” he said, giving you a file. “Nothing important, just paperwork, really.”

“Thanks,” you said anyways.

He was silent for a moment, then chuckled. “You know, I became a cop to get away from crazy shit like Afghanistan. Apparently, I can’t outrun it.”

He tried to walk away, but your interest peaked.

“You served?” you asked.

“Two tours,” the officer confirmed. “I was discharged after an IED went off and made me lose hearing in my right ear.”

“I was in Syria for 18 months,” you said.

His face lit up. “No way. What’d you do?”

The army had a weird way of bringing people together.

“I was a medic,” you replied. “I was hired on this team as a paramedic, actually. I worked as one for a few years after I got home.” 

“Goddamn,” he whistled. “It’s hard to find girls like you…?”

“Y/N,” you answered.

“Jacob,” he said, offering you a hand.

You shook his hand, smiling faintly. You saw Jacob wink at you before walking away, but you didn’t see JJ, Emily, and Spencer watching you from the next room. 

Back when Buford managed the center, everything was on paper, which meant Garcia unfortunately couldn’t help. JJ and Spencer ended up combing through the community center’s paper records, only to find gaps. They presumed Buford destroyed some of the files before he was sent to prison. The two of them were only able to come up with a partial list of names. 

Derek was incessant; he was the first one to suggest visiting Buford. Hotch was reluctant, instead opting for JJ to attempt a memory recall. It didn’t work, which meant you were back to zero in terms of leads. Derek eventually wore Hotch down, but on the condition that he’d go with Derek. You jumped in, saying you’d tag along.

“What?” you asked. “Garcia would, if she were here. I figured I’m the next best thing.” 

You and Hotch watched as Derek sat across from Buford. They were across the cafeteria, and you were behind a window, so it was hard to completely make out what they were saying. Eventually, though, You saw Derek get up and stand against the wall while Buford wrote names down on a pad of paper. They ended the conversation with a handshake. You could see the fire behind Derek’s eyes. 

“I’m gonna use the head before we leave,” Derek said after handing off the list to Hotch. He walked down the hall and to the bathroom. You waited a few minutes before following him. 

Basically all of the inmates were in the yard, which meant the floor was almost completely empty, even from guards. So, when you heard gagging come from the bathroom, you had a feeling you knew who it was. 

You opened the door, stepping in silently and turning the corner. Sure enough, Derek was hunched over the sink. He flipped on the faucet, bringing some water to his mouth.

“Are you okay?” you asked softly.

“You shouldn’t be in here,” he replied gruffly. 

You sighed, leaning against the counter. “You know that friend I mentioned? The one that died in front of me while I was deployed?”

“I remember,” Derek confirmed after a moment. 

“He wasn’t just my friend — he was my boyfriend,” you said, “and he died in front of me because we were being held captive. 

“He stepped on an IED. It blew his leg off. I ran out to help him, and I was knocked out cold. We were under fire, so no one realized we were gone until it was too late. They weren’t stupid — they knew he would die if he didn’t get proper medical attention. So, they sat him in the corner of the room, and they made him watch what they did to me.”

“You don’t have to do this, Y/N,” Derek said. 

“I know,” you promised. “You’re my friend. I want you to know. But mostly, I want you to know you’re not alone.” 

He shut off the water, standing up straight. “What did they do to you?”

“They started by punching. When that didn’t work, they moved onto whipping, and when that didn’t work, they laid me on the ground. My pants were halfway down my legs before Austin had enough. He told them everything they wanted to know. And, a few hours later, he was dead.” 

You laughed sadly, holding back the tears that threatened to spill. “You wanna know the worst part? A few weeks ago, I found out he was gonna propose to me. He had the ring made and everything. It’s sitting in a box in my closet — his parents couldn’t stand to look at it anymore.” you wiped your eyes. “I mean, seriously dude, compared to my life, yours is a cakewalk.” 

Derek chuckled. He approached you, pulling you into a hug. You wrapped your arms around him. 

“I’m sorry for what happened to you,” you whispered.

“I’m sorry too,” Derek replied. 

His hand cradled the back of your neck. It was soothing. 

“If you won’t ask him out, I will.”

You looked up at Emily with a frown. “What?”

“Jacob? That police officer from earlier?” 

“What about him?”

“You were totally flirting with him!” JJ said.

You snorted. “No I was not.”

“He winked at you,” Emily disagreed. 

“In some cultures, you’d be engaged,” JJ agreed with Emily.

“I’ll make sure Spencer fact-checks that one,” you said, standing up with a sigh. You refilled your mug with cheap coffee, bringing the pot over for the girls, who still sat at the table reading files.

“Seriously, what’s holding you back?” Emily asked.

“It just seems inappropriate,” you said, which wasn’t entirely a lie. “We’re working a case. It’s unprofessional.”

“That’s why you wait until the case is over,” JJ said, filling her mug. “That’s what Will did. Look how we turned out.”

“I’m not really looking for a relationship right now, you know?” you said. “I’m in love with my work.”

“I hear that,” Emily agreed. “It’s almost impossible to find men that understand that.” 

Spencer walked into the room. You did your best to not react. Still, he paused, assessing the atmosphere.

“What are you guys talking about?” He asked.

“Y/N and the cute police officer she was flirting with,” Emily said, cocking an eyebrow. “Care to join?”

Spencer frowned. “No,” he said honestly. He grabbed something and walked out of the room. 

Emily and JJ shared a laugh. 

“Sounds about right,” JJ chuckled. 

You cleared your throat. “I’m gonna go get the rest of the files,” you said after a beat. You left the room, hoping your intentions weren’t obvious. 

You picked up a stack of files that were sitting on a table opposite of the conference room. Spencer seemed oblivious, simply going back to what he was doing. You approached him nervously. 

“Hey,” you greeted, clutching the files to your chest. “Can we talk?” 

Spencer nodded. 

You walked across the station, eventually finding a hallway that seemed calm and secluded. 

“I wasn’t flirting with him,” you blurted out. “He was flirting with me, but I was only being nice. I didn’t suggest anything, and I didn’t give him any ideas.”

“I believe you.”

A weight lifted off your chest. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. 

“Really?” You asked hopefully.

“Of course I do,” Spencer assured with a smile. “There are things I’m insecure about, but our relationship isn’t one of them.” 

You reached out, taking his hand. “So we’re okay?” 

“We’re okay,” Spencer promised. He glanced down briefly.

Your face fell. “What is it, Spence?”

“It’s nothing,” he said, rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand. “It’s just that sometimes, I wish we didn’t have to hide. It’s not that I want to make out with you in front of our coworkers —” you both laughed, “ — but it would be nice if we could just… be us around everyone else, you know?”

You reached up a hand to his cheek. “I know,” you said softly. “I love you, and I love our teammates. It’s everyone else at the Bureau I’m worried about. Semantically, there’s nothing anyone can do — we technically work in different departments, me being a medic and you a profiler. But if someone wanted to throw a fit, call it sexual harassment or a waste of taxpayer money… we could lose our jobs.” 

“I understand,” Spencer agreed. “It’s in our best interest to stay quiet. I get that. But that doesn’t change that sometimes it just…”

“...Sucks?” You finished. 

“Exactly.” 

With the help of Garcia and a few previous victims, the team was able to find the UnSub. Just like the profile suggested, Rodney Harris was a former victim of Buford’s. Thankfully, the BAU was able to apprehend Harris before he could hurt his ex-wife, son, and her current husband. 

“For once, I can’t wait to get on that stupid jet,” you said, rolling your head in an effort to stretch your neck. “I’m fucking exhausted.”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Emily said as you, JJ, and herself filed out of the conference room.

“Am I?” you asked.

JJ pointed to Jacob. “You forgot to ask him out.”

“You two really aren’t gonna let that go, are you?” you sighed.

“Come on, Y/N!” Emily practically whined. “He’s cute, and handsome, and a cop, and he served in the army, and he likes you. What more could you want?”

“Plus, the case is closed, so it’s not a conflict of interest,” JJ reminded with a smirk. 

The three of you approached the gentlemen on the team, who were clustered in front of the exit. You hoped none of them heard what was going on.

“What’s going on?” Derek asked. 

Dammit.

“JJ and Prentiss are trying to get me to ask out a cop that works here at the station,” you explained.

“Oh la la,” Rossi joked. 

“I’m not interested,” you stated bluntly.

“And yet, you can’t give a good reason why,” Emily pointed out.

You put a hand on your chin, feigning deep thought. “I could ask him out, but here’s the thing… I don’t think my boyfriend would like that very much.” 

A collective hush fell over the group. Emily and JJ looked at each other in shock, while Rossi and Derek simply looked impressed. You swore you saw the remnants of a smirk on Hotch’s face.

“Well, there goes pretty boy’s chance of getting with the new girl,” Derek joked.

“Seems so,” Spencer agreed with a laugh.

“You… you have a boyfriend?” JJ asked, stunned.

“Have since I moved here.”

“Who is he?!” Emily practically shrieked. “Can we meet him? Have we met him?”

“He’s a pretty private person,” you feigned. “I’d have to talk to him about meeting you guys.”

JJ and Emily continued to ask questions, threatening to get Garcia involved. You merely walked out of the station, smiling at Spencer before you left.

  You ended up sitting across from Derek on the jet. Spencer dozed off on the couch, like he normally did. You wished you had the ability to sleep anywhere you wanted. JJ and Emily were entertaining each other while Rossi and Hotch sat across from each other. 

Letting out a breath, Derek put his headphones around his neck. “So… this boyfriend.”

“Ask all you want, man: I’m not gonna spill,” you said.

“Does he know about the ring?” 

Your smile faltered. “No,” you said softly, “he doesn’t. He knows about Austin, but… I haven’t gotten around to telling him yet.” 

“Will you?” Derek asked.

“Tell him? Of course I will. It’s just… I’m still processing it. I don’t want to spring something like this on him while I’m still deciding how I feel.”

He nodded. “That’s fair. Just do both of you a favor and tell him before he buys a ring.”

“What makes you think we’ll get that far?” 

“You’re a good judge of character, Y/N,” Derek said. “You do no harm and take no shit. I can’t see you dating a guy without knowing it’ll go somewhere.” 

You lightly kicked him under the table, then grinned. “Thanks, Derek.” 

He smiled, putting his headphones on and leaning back in his seat.

You stared across the jet, eyes focused on Spencer. He looked so peaceful when he slept — knees pulled up, his arms wrapped around a pillow. You wanted to put his head in your lap and play with his hair like you did whenever the two of you watched a movie together. You wanted to hold his hand, lean your head on his shoulder, kiss his cheek. But when it came down to it, all you could do was watch him across the room.

He was right: sometimes, it just plain sucked. 

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[cnc-hoebayb]

Christmas Eve w/ Chris

Day 4 and it’s my bday!! So duh i wanna post something that’s Chris AND smut woooOo

.

“Okay now open this one,” you scramble around the area under the synthetic tree, finding the present you were most excited about. You had decided to open presents early. Tomorrow morning you had planned on sleeping late and wandering around town, so late night on Christmas Eve sounded like the best time to exchange gifts.

You bounce in place a little from where you’re sitting, the anticipation eating at you as he starts to tear paper away. He stares in shock as he gets a glimps of a part of the box from underneath.

“En serio??” He says and you smile big, edging him on to keep opening it. He’s excited, but there’s something else, not disappointment, but something you can’t quite wrap your head around. The paper falls to the floor and he’s left with a little black velvet box.

“Corazón,” he starts almost hesitantly. You try not to feel a little spooked at his tone and cut him off. “You don’t know what it is yet, keep going,” he gives a little side smile and pops open the little box.

He looks at the contents and laughs like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Now you feel worry slipping into you, “do you not like it?...” your smiles fades a bit.

He snaps his head up and his expression turns soft, “nonono, cariño no i love it, it’s just-“ he gets up and grabs another hidden present by the fireplace. “Here,” he hands you the small gift shyly, “open this,”

You’re confused but start to tear at the paper. The box underneath is revealed and you immediately look up at him. “You’re kidding,” you stop because in your lap is now the same black velvet container as he had.

“Qué lo habrá?” He says in a cheerfully sarcastic tone, and you pop it open. Inside lays the same ring you had gotten him, just smaller and daintier to fit for your finger. The silver reflecting even in the dim cabin light.

You take it out to examine it further, noticing a little engraving raveled around.

Te amo ♡ Chris

You “aawwe” with a little pout and point to the contents in his hands, “yours has something too.” He shakes his head in disbelief and smiles, “oh my god, no puedo creer” as he reads the exact same engraving, only with your name at the end.

“Looks like we just got the same taste,” you shrug. It was partly true. What had happened was that you both had bought them the same day. You were in the mall and passed by that fancy jewelry store just to look around and pretend you were gonna buy things. You saw him look at that particular ring and thought he would want it for himself. Turns out he thought the same with you.

“Well, enough of this, put yours on baby” he slid over to your side and helped guide it on your finger. It was perfect, he knew you preferred to wear rings on your pointer finger, and plus he had already gotten you a promise ring forever ago, so this was perfect for a little extra luxury.

You had made his fit for his pointer finger too but on the other hand. You huffed and watched him put it on. “Ugh we’re so gross when we think the same” you start gathering the little scrap wrapping paper and throw it into the fireplace.

“I dunno, i kinda like it,” he scoots closer to you and kisses your forehead, “i think it’s sexy.” You put your hand on his puckered lips and push them away, “cochino, you think everything is sexy.”

He grabs your legs and drags you back to him. “I can’t help it if that’s just how you make it,” he licks his lips and you blush, watching him lean in to you again. You kiss him back sweetly, and push the hair out of his face.

Hes hovering over you on his knees and you push him to sit, climbing softly onto his lap. He holds on to your back and hip, hands tightly keeping you in one place. You tilt his head up to kiss him deeper now, a firm grip on each side of his jaw.

He leans into the touch and his lips feel like heaven. There was something about the atmosphere that made the moment feel so much more romantic. Even though you were both in fluffy pajama pants and ugly Christmas sweaters, he had never been more attractive than he was right now.

And maybe it was the wine, or the way the fireplace crackled right behind you, or the warmth and safety you felt in his arms; but in this moment, all you knew is that this was the love of your life and you wanted to make every second with him the best you could.

So when he slid his fingers into the bottom of your sweater, you helped guide him to pull it the rest of the way off. He hummed a little against you at the fact you already had no bra on. Your skin grew cold as the open air hit from all around.

He noticed and scooted you both more toward the open fire, enough to feel the little heat waves of the low flames. His hands made their way around your body and took no time to find ways to make you moan.

He licked circles around your nipple and you grabbed onto his wrist, holding in your air for a second. You pulled the sweater off his top half before he could do anything else and felt immediately the warmth of his skin. Your hips wiggles into his lap deeper and he twitched at the feeling.

He groaned silently to himself as you continued to roll your hips in a circular motion. His lips stopped working once he noticed one of your hands had made its way down the front of his pants. You kissed his neck and bit at his earlobe as you reached down to mess with him.

You skimmed by the bulge in his pants, barely putting any pressure where he wanted you. He made a noise that sounded almost like a squeak and you chuckled. He was still, waiting for contact he so desperately wanted.

So when you finally gave in to rub at him over his underwear, his grip moved down to your butt, squeezing a little to release some more tension.

You make sure to be light, you liked to make him squirm before it got down to anything farther. To watch him unravel under your touch and make up for it in the bedroom.

“Should we go to the room..?” You whisper seductively into his ear and run your finger down his chest. He takes no time to lock his hand through your hair, yanking you to kiss him once more, “can’t wait, i need you now, right here,” he murmurs against your lips.

Shedding the rest of your clothes was fast, no questions, just one thought in mind for the both of you. Once you were both stripped to nothing, you didn’t hesitate to crawl back into his lap. You felt the heat between his legs grow and gently rubbed yourself against him, not dropping completely down yet.

His fingertips dug into your thighs and he kissed you passionately. “Listo, corazón?” you asked him before doing anything else. His teeth pulled at your lip and he groaned a low “yes, now”

You steadied yourself above him, making sure to line everything up perfectly before sinking down. You were both ready, no foreplay needed. He could get you goin just by a look, so in times like this it was bliss to jump right in when you needed it so bad.

He was biting anxiously at his lip as you started, slowly closing down around the tip. You stopped to take it in, already losing yourself in the feeling so early. “Chris I-” you breathed out as he helped guide you down onto him more.

You were a little embarassed to be losing it this fast, but that’s just how it was with him. He gasped as you clenched around him, not able to hold it back. “It’s ok, princesa,” he cooed to you as you took the rest of him in, crying out his name as you felt him throbbing from within you.

He tilted his back as you collapsed into his shoulder, he was trying so hard to keep it together too. When you finally regained composure again, your energy had peaked. Your body was overcome with a billion different senses, and you were coming back at him with a force.

Your hips started to work up a slow grind in his lap, and Chris immediately focused on your body. He touched and licked every inch he could cover, sucking light marks onto your collarbone and breasts.

You steadied yourself by holding onto his shoulders, slowly working up the pace of your hips. You sat up a little to adjust yourself in his lap and he took no time to slam you back down with full force. You bury your head back into his chest and let out a moan, your heart beating faster.

In this position, he takes the opportunity to roll onto his back completely, admiring as you were seated above him. The feeling of him inside of you makes you quiver, everything now at different angles and more depth.

You whimper quietly as you explore the new position, bouncing yourself quickly up and down onto him. Your finger tips rest on his chest barely as you arch back, feeling dizzy as he thrust his hips upward, meeting your movements at the perfect time.

His pace falters and he moans out loudly, instantly making you feel more lightheaded. He grabs at your waist so you’re pressed chest to chest, silencing all his noises against your working lips.

You change it up again, rolling your hips faster to get him where he needed to be. His moans grow louder and are non stop, bringing you to feel another orgasm winding up.

“Oh god- fuck-“ he lets out and starts to explode inside of you, thrusting long and deep as he rides it out. The sensation of him filling you up even more is enough to send you over, the both of you now pushing and rolling into each other in a rhythmic mess.

Your body twitches a little from after shock and Chris rolls you over to your side, laying you down next him. He brushes your face with his finger, his new ring still on and intact.

You kiss over it on his hand and he intertwines his hand with yours. “Tú eres perfecta,” you smile up at him and brush his hair. “Yo sé” you fire back and he bites your hand, “god it’s so hard to not fight you or love you right now”

You bundle up into his arms and watch the fire crackle in front of you, and it’s all you could ever want for Christmas.

[mrgrant9559-blog]

Witch Way Is Right? Part 11

A/N: Ok, so not really much to say here except there’s a time skip. The main point is to skip Y/N’s training session cause we really don’t need to know all of that. So, yeah, here’s Part 11!

Subject: Avengers x Male!Reader/Steve Rogers x Male!Reader

Characters: Y/N, Alex, Doctor Strange, Wong, Mom and Dad OC

Tags: @uselessace @avengersohyeah @ech0winchester @thegreatficmaster @writeyouin

Word Count: 1.4k

________________________________________________________

2 1/2 Months Later:

Reader’s POV:

Well, Doc wasn’t lying when he said how intense this training would be. In fact, saying it was intense is an understatement. It was hellish. After a month of intense sparring and tests, Stephen sends me off with Thor and Loki to find their father. Yeah, thats right, THE Thor Odinson and Loki Laufeyson. Apparently, they have a sister and she had the same ambitions Loki does, or I should say did. He’s seems like a good guy now as far as I can tell. But I’ll get back to that crazy story later.

Now, after a month of training, I think I can say I’m ready to go up against Alex. I’ve shed blood, sweat and, of course, tears during his training, but it was all worth it. Compared to before, I feel completely stronger! “This is amazing, Stephen!” I admit to him ecstatically. “I feel completely in control of my magic. Not only that but I feel like I’m ready to fight my brother.”

“First of all, it shouldn’t be hard to refer to me as Doctor Strange otherwise you’re not as ready as I thought.” He replies in annoyance. “Second, I can tell just by looking at you, you’ve improved in your magic and spellcasting. You’re a quick learner for someone whose only been learning for a couple of months now. Sorta remind me of myself in that aspect.”

“I was gonna thank you, until you said that last part.” I reply jokingly. “Now, I just feel insulted.”

Having to deal with my quips and sarcasm must’ve finally gotten to him because instead of rolling his eyes or even scoffing at me like normal, he chuckles, which I never hear come from him and it catches me by surprise. That small reaction really makes me miss my family and friends. To hear them laugh. To see them smile. I can’t wait to finally go home. Its been two in a half months and I miss them all so much. Don’t get me wrong, staying with Stephen was... educational to put it lightly. I mean, who doesn’t like reading nothing but spell books of words you can’t even pronounce for one whole week? Not this guy. But the whole time, I couldn’t stop thinking about my kiss with Steve.

Flashback:

Did he like it? Was the kiss too hard? Was it too soft? Did I use too much tongue? Did I use tongue at all? These questions keep racking through my brain and it’s making it hard for me to concentrate. I need to stop focusing on it. Besides, I felt him kiss back. Wait, did he kiss back?

“Something on your mind, kid?” Stephen asks. It must be obvious that I haven’t been with him, mentally since I got here.

“Nothing, I’m just...”

“Oh, you don’t have to lie. I can tell when someone’s thinking about their first kiss. I’m guessing you wanna know what he thinks about it, right?” He replies and I just nod. Suddenly, Stephen opens a portal on the ground and gestures for me to come to him. I do so and look down to get an above view of Steve talking to Bucky.

“I just don’t know, Buck. I had only been talking to the kid for three days and I feel like that doesn’t even matter.” Steve admits. “Whenever I look at him, I just feel like protecting him from everything bad and when I knew I couldn’t protect him from whatever he’s facing during his training, I thought maybe I can send something with him.”

“And that something was a 10 second kiss?” Bucky chuckles, finding it amusing the way Steve is acting.

“Wait, was that too long?” Steve said, worryingly.

“Listen, Punk, I’ve heard the kid from his own mouth say that he likes you.” Bucky says. “He really does, so you shouldn’t be worrying about if he liked it or if it was too long, which it wasn’t. Instead, think about what you’re gonna do when he gets back.” Steve nodded and thanked him before walking off.

Stephen closed the portal and looked at me. “See? He’s just as worried about it as you are. Like his friend said, you shouldn’t be worried about if he liked it or if it was too long, which it was.” He said with a grossed face. “Instead, think about what you’re gonna do when you get back.”

I thought about it and nodded. He’s right. I shouldn’t be scared and think he didn’t enjoy it, which he did. Instead I should be excited to hurry up and get through this training so I have more time to spend with him before The War begins. I thank him and walk back to my mountain of books, ready to get through this long ass training seesion.

-End Flashback

“Well, The War doesn’t begin for another week, and I’ve taught you everything a born, light witch or sorcerer could know. So, I think we’re done here” He says while reaching for his sling ring. “Do you want me to open a portal or do you wanna do it yourself?”

Oh yeah thats another thing Stephen taught me. I can now teleport, instead of using a portal like sorcerers have to use. I guess thats the benefit of being a witch rather than a sorcerer. “Thanks for the offer, but I gotta test this shit out for myself, right?” I ask, getting a nod from Stephen in response. I tell him goodbye and thank him for the awesome training.

“You’re welcome, kid. And don’t worry, I’ll be helping you in The War, too.” He reminds me. I tank him again and get to using my powers.

My hands glow a more pure gold than it did before. I think about my home. My parents, the smell of my house. I clap my hands together and a gold light flashes around me, instantly taking me to my destination.

I search around the house for my parents but don’t see them anywhere. I call out their names but still no sign of them. Where could they’ve gone? I get an idea that Strange used to teleport Thor, Loki and I to his father’s location.

I go upstair to my parents’ bathroom and find my mom’s hair brush with some of her hair on it. Perfect. I grab a strand of it and start messing with it like how he did. I can feel that its ready so I throw it at the wall and a portal opens up showing my parents and their sitting and talking with... No... No, it can’t be! Why are they with HIM?! The three of them notice the portal I made and stand up staring at me in shock.

“What the hell in going on here?” I ask them.

“Champ, you’re done with your training already?” My dad replies. “You look stronger. More powerful, too.”

“Don’t change the subject!” I retort. “Why are you guys doing this? And with him?”

“We didn’t think you’d be back so soon, we thought we had time to talk to about past times.” My mom says. “We all missed you so much so you’re father thought it’d be a great idea to invite him over for dinner.”

“This can’t be happening right now.” I say in disbelief. I never thought my parents would embarass me like this.

______________________________________________________

Who do you guys think Mom and Dad are talking to?? Comment or Reblog with an answer or some feedback, please!

Sorry it took so long, but there’s Part 11! I haven’t forgotten about it, I’ve just been dealing with writer’s block like you wouldn’t believe, but I’m back and I also have another fic I’m working on and should be posted soon. Anyways, I’m sorry again that this took a lot longer than expected. And I’m also sorry it’s so short. Hope you guys enjoyed and I’ll see you on the next one!

[roggling]

Eye Opening

Relationship: Plance (Pidge x Lance)

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences (For slight makeout)

One-Shot

Word Count: 3192

Summary: A few months have passed since Team Voltron has had to destroy the Castle of Lions and now, they have to make a pit stop on planet Grijalva to stock up on supplies. Planet Grijalva has a population of aliens who can read the emotions of any living being and, unfortunately, Lance has had some powerful feelings after Keith revealed something Lance didn’t even know he had. This proves to be a little...problematic.

Lance sat in Red, running his hand through Kaltenecker's hair floof at the top of his head, "I don't think it's gonna happen, buddy."

Kaltenecker's just chewed on Lance-had-no-idea-what-because-there-isn't-any-food-on-his-lion. Lance continued though, "I mean, I've been there for her the whole time, yet she still chose Lotor."

Lance groaned and hit his head against the  back of his chair, "Feelings are so complicated. This is so stupid. Why am I moping over some girl?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

Lance jumped in his seat and looked wide-eyed at an amused Keith watching him from the screen.

Lance stammered before composing himself and asked/yelled, "How much of that did you hear?!"

"Just the last sentence," Keith assured, "We need to make a pit stop to stock up on food and supplies and Coran found a friendly planet just a lightyear away. Pidge already sent out the coordinates and the Lions are flying there right now. Just wanted to tell you."

Lance nodded.

Before Keith left, though, he asked, "What's this about moping about a girl?"

Lance shook his head, "It's nothing."

"It didn't seem like "nothing". You seemed pretty beat up about it," Keith said.

Lance just pouted.

"Is this about Allura?"

"What?!" Lance exclaimed, "Why would it be Allura?"

"You're right. Why would it be about Allura? It's not like you've been throwing yourself at her since we first arrived," Keith rolled his eyes.

Lance crossed his arms, "Forget it, Keith, you wouldn't understand."

"I would actually."

"I don't see how."

"I went through the same thing. Only, instead of rejecting me, she hated my guts for a few hours."

Lance froze and processed Keith's words and he asked hesitantly, "Hold on, you liked Allura?"

Keith shrugged and avoided his eyes, "Briefly. So did Shiro."

Lance nodded in understanding and let Keith continue, "We've all been through that Lance. Just talk to us if you need something. Even if it is weird."

"Definitely," Lance agreed.

"And," Keith added, "If you ever need to talk about Pidge, it's alright too."

"What about Pidge?"

"You know," Keith paused, "about your crush on her?"

Lance rose an eyebrow, "I don't have a crush on Pidge?"

"Really?" Keith asked.

Lance shook his head.

"Oh," Keith said, "I guess I read the signs wrong."

Lance rose an inquisitive brow, "What signs?"

Keith shrugged, "You know, the stolen gazes, the hovering, the invasion of personal space, your habit of borrowing her stuff, the teasing, the fond looks, and constantly talking about girls with her to get her jealous and then watching her reaction."

Lance gazed at him and Keith asked, "You don't see it?"

"The thing is," Lance drawled, "I see it now."

Keith sat in awkward silence as Lance personified the mesh of confusion and realization rolled up together, "Well, I'm just gonna go..."

Lance just sat in a daze. He never really thought about it that way. But now, it's so obvious.

He has been crushing on Pidge the whole time.

Lance whined and threw himself on Kaltenecker, "Now I really have it bad, girl. I like two girls way out of my league."

Kaltenecker moo-ed.

"I mean, Pidge is so smart. She never lets anyone doubt her and she is so strong and determined. She's pretty, too. And Allura is a princess, for crying out loud."

Kaltenecker nudged her head on to Lance's neck and Lance patted her head again.

"At least you're here. You're probably the only girl I love who actually notices me."

Kaltenecker moo-ed.

"Approaching planet Grijalva," Keith announced in the comms, "Remember, Coran said that they are a planet full of aliens who can read emotions. Keep your emotions in check and we'll be fine."

The Lions landed in a distant field and the paladins went out to town to meet with their leader.

Keith was leading the four, using the coordinates Pidge gave him. They were following a faint path that was completely covered by trees.

In the back, Hunk began rambling, "Hey, Keith, do you think they have chocolate? Their planet is pretty similar to Earth."

Keith shrugged, "I wouldn't know, Hunk, I've never been here before."

Hunk continued on, "Because that would be amazing. We will finally be able to make chocolate milkshakes, hot chocolate, chocolate fondue- oh, God, what if they have flour. I can finally make pancakes!"

"Hunk, budddy, pal, as much as I love your food rambles," Lance pointed to a frustrated Keith, "You're pissing Keith off."

Allura just rose an inquisitive brow, "What's a pancake?"

"Pidge are you sure these coordinates are correct?" Keith showed Pidge his map and she leaned over Lance to look at it.

She adjusted her glasses and narrowed her eyes, "Yeah, we're supposed to be in town-"

Suddenly, behind them, a giant creature took Lance's collar in its beak. The paladins screamed in surprise and took in the majestic creature.

It looked like a Griffin, half-lion and half-eagle, in neon colors.

Keith took out his blade and the rest of the team took out their Bayards. They charged, but by then the Griffin already flew away.

"No!" Pidge yelled and aimed her grappling hook. She fired.

The green grappling hook wound itself around the Griffin's tail and Pidge went flying with the Griffin.

Hunk grabbed on to the petite girl first and held down the Griffin for a second, long enough for Keith and Allura to climb up on the rope, before flying off too.

Keith and Allura made it to the back of the Griffin and pulled Hunk and Pidge in. The four caught their breath and they ran to the Griffin's shoulders and called out, "Lance! Are you alright?!"

"I'm fine, but look! I know why we didn't find the town!"

The team turned to where Lance easy pointing and they gasped when they saw a huge town on the canopy. Each house was carved into the thick blue trunks of the trees. Yellow lights emanated from inside and the pink leaves added a wonderful, warm tone to the town.

They would have enjoyed the view better if they weren't hanging on for their lives atop of a Griffin.

The Griffin circled the town before finding it's landing space. The Griffin landed on a platform and shook itself. It eventually shook out all the Paladins and they landed in a heap on the floor.

The Griffin peered down at them, Lance still hanging from its beak, and made its way to a big building in front of them. It placed Lance on the roof of said building and it squawked loudly.

The Paladins moved toward the building, but the Griffin looked down at them and squawked menacingly and they backed off.

"Lance!" Pidge yelled.

"I'm fine. Just...admiring the view as a Griffin takes me hostage."

Suddenly, the building's door opens and out came a humanoid-looking alien. It seemed to be female and had big, round eyes like an owl. She had webbed hands and her arms almost reached the ground.

She ran to the Griffin and cooed, "Hey, Brokaw. What you doing here?"

The Griffin cooed too and squawked and pointed its head to the Paladins. The alien stared wide-eyed at the Paladins and she approached them, "Oh, Paladins, you're here! Nice to finally meet you! My name's Crohji, Grijalva's Queen."

Keith extended his hand and gave a tight-lipped smile, "I'm Keith. It's an honor to be here, Crohji, but we do have a slight situation."

Crohji frowned and asked, "I sense frustration, is everything alright?"

"Well, your pet has taken one of our Paladins hostage," Allura explained with amusement in her voice.

Crohji turned around and gasped when she saw Lance on the roof. Lance let out a sheepish smile and waved, "Hi!"

Crohji sighed, "Brokaw, would you please explain yourself?"

The Griffin stood protectively in front of Lance and cawed multiple times as if it was actually speaking. Apparently, Crohji understood everything because she came back with a translation.

"Well, Paladins, as you may know, planet Grijalva and it's inhabitants have deep connections with emotion. Our guardian, Brokaw, is the first emotion reader. Her powers are strong and powerful. She felt the Red paladin is in great emotional distress-"

"WHAT? No I'm not!" Lance huffed, crossing his hand and his cheeks blushing in embarrassment.

Crohji ignored him, "and, as our guardian, it is her job to make him feel better. That is why everyone on planet Grijalva is so happy."

Allura stepped up, "Well, how can we help?"

"We will fix it in the traditional Grijalvian way. His friends and family will shower him with honest compliments, and we will know if they're honest, and then we will have a feast in his honor," Crohji clapped in excitement.

"You," she pointed to Keith, "you will go first. I sense a strong bond between you two. Tell him how you feel about your relationship."

"Well," Keith coughed into his hand, "this is getting awkward."

Lance nodded and blushed in embarassment, "Tell me about it."

"Uh," Keith scratched his neck and stepped up, "Well, you are an awesome pilot. The first time we met, you were absolutley horrible, but now, you've really gotten better. We all see it. Um, you're a great right-hand man too. You offer good strategies and you help me out in tough situations. You take leadership responsibly and you really are Paladin material. We need you, man."

Lance smiled ,"Thanks, Keith, that means a lot."

Crohji smiled and pointed to Hunk, "You. You also seem to be close with the red Paladin. Express yourself."

"Man, where to begin," Hunk pondered and stepped up, "You're the absolute, bestest friend a guy can ask for. You always try to break me out of my nervous shell and you know how to have fun. You're my best friend. Love you, bro."

Lance beamed a toothy smile, "Love you too, bro."

Crohji clapped, "Perfect! Now you!" She pointed to Allura, "he has strong feelings for you, Your Highness," Lance turned bet-red and Pidge pouted (though no one saw that), "Express yourself."

Allura fiddled with her hands and stepped up, "Um, I know how you feel about me, Lance, and I regret to say that I don't feel the same," Lance nodded solemnly and avoided eye contact, "You truly are an amazing guy. You are destined for great things. You have brought me up in my darkest moments. I owe you so much and you mean to me more than you realize."

Allura smiled and Lance smiled back, "Thank you, Princess."

Crohji squealed, "Wonderful! Now all we have left is you, young lady," she pointed at Pidge, "his feelings for you are stronger than for any other. It'll be your statement that will make a difference."

Lance smacked his head against the wooden roof.

Pidge was also blushing hard. She cleared her throat and stepped up to begin, "Well, Lance is probably the closest friends I have next to Hunk. He's always trying to help me break out of the shell I build against round me constantly. He proved all my bullies wrong. His hearty compliments and his jokes are what I look forward to. He's my best friend."

Pidge smiled up at Lance and he returned it. Thinking, it was done, Pidge was about to join the rest of the group before Crohji stopped her, "You are hiding something, Green Paladin."

Pidge stopped and turned around, her voice frustrated, "No I'm not!"

Crohji narrowed her eyes, "You're hiding how you truly feel out of fear."

Pidge glared and yelled, "No, I'm not!"

"If she doesn't want to say it, it's fine, Crohji!" Lance screamed from the top of the building.

The Griffin then squawked and took Lance in her beak again.

"What is she doing?" Keith yelled.

Crohji looked down at Pidge, "If you do not reveal how you feel, Brokaw will let your "best friend" fall from that branch."

The team looked up in horror to see the Griffin leave Lance at a branch, him grabbing onto the branch tightly with both hands.

"Are you insane?" Allura yelled.

Keith formed his Bayard's sword and placed it under Crohji's head, "Bring him down, right now!"

Crohji, calm as ever, warned, "If you hurt me, Brokaw will release your friend's grip and he will fall to his death."

Hunk looked up concerned at his struggling best friend, "Hold on, buddy, I'm coming!"

Hunk turned on his jet pack and he leaped up branch to branch, desperately trying you get to Lance before it's too late. Keith and Allura followed closely.

When Pidge tried to follow them, Crohji held her back with the help of two other Grijalvians.

Pidge struggled, "Let me go! I need to help!"

"You can," Crohji soothed, "You just need to reveal your true feelings."

Pidge roared, "Why are you doing this?!"

Crohji lamented, "I lost a loved one because I wouldn't reveal my true feelings. No one should go through that."

Pidge groaned, "This isn't the right way to do that!"

Crohji sighed, "Your friend is slipping he'll fall in five..."

Hunk is only about three branches away.

"...four..."

Lance is hanging on by one hand.

"...three..."

Keith and Allura are yelling at Pidge.

"...two..."

Lance tries to grab on with his other hand but he almost slipped. A tear falls down Pidge's cheek.

"...o-"

"I LOVE LANCE!"

Silence.

The Griffin appeared under Lance and he fell onto its back. His face in awe as he listened to Pidge.

"There..." she whispered defeatedly, "I said it. I am in love with Lance McClain."

Crohji smiled and was about to put a hand on Pidge's shoulder before Pidge shoved her hand away and spat, "I'm leaving."

The teen twirled in her heels and headed for the woods.

"Wait! We still have the feast!" Crohji called.

"I don't care!" Pidge yelled back.

Once the Griffin landed, Lance jumped off and ran after Pidge, "Pidge! Wait up!"

The paladins were going to follow, but then the Griffin held up a wing to stop them and she cawed.

"What did she say?" Allura asked.

"She said," Crohji gazed in the direction the two ran off to, "To give them privacy."

°•○●○•°

"Pidge! Piiidge! Pidgey? Pigeon! Where are you?" Lance called.

"Nowhere." Pidge deadpanned.

Lance followed the voice and found Pidge kicking the roots of a tree in anger.

"Hey, what did the tree ever do to you?"

"Lance, I don't want your pity. You didn't have to come after me." Pidge pouted and crossed her arms.

"You're right," Lance approached her, "I didn't have to... I needed to."

Pidge huffed and turned away, "Why are your showing me affection now."

"Well," Lance began, "After-"

"I won't be your rebound, Lance. I'm not any body's second choice," Pidge spat solemnly.

"Good thing you aren't mine, then." Lance got closer and Pidge backed up against a tree.

"What are you doing?" Pidge stammered, a blush coming up from Lance's intense gaze.

Lance placed his left forearm beside Pidge's head and his right hand cupped Pidge's jaw, "Something I should have done a long time ago."

Pidge bit her lip.

"Pidge, I never realized my feelings for you until Keith shoved them down my throat a few vargas ago. Our relationship was so fluid and easy, I never realized when our teasing became stronger. I never realized how much I treasured you. When you left to go find your brother, I thought the hole in me was me missing my best friend. I now realize that what we have is so much stronger. Keith opening my eyes to my crush on you was almost like Romeo. He was in love and heartbroken with Rosaline, but once he saw Juliet, everything faded away."

Lance smiled down at Pidge, "You're my Juliet, Pidge, just a smarter, badass version of her."

"Don't forget cooler." Pidge teased, her hands wrapping around Lance's neck.

Lance chuckled, "Definitely cooler."

Lance leaned in and asked, "Can I kiss you?"

Pidge nodded, "Yes."

Their kiss was like Hazel Grace falling asleep and falling in love: it was slow, then all at once.

The two were fairly inexperienced. The only kiss Lance had was with Jenny Shaybon and that was just a peck when he as fifteen. Pidge hasn't had a first kiss.

This was different. It was Pidge. It was so much better.

She pulled at his hair and he pulled her neck in closer so he can have a better grip and position.  Their lips were clumsy as they moved against each other.

They were short, fluid kisses that would last a second before they would separate and come back together like magnets.

Lance relaxed his hand and let himself smush Pidge, causing her to giggle as he did so. Her hands cupped his cheeks as he planted more short and frantic kisses, each sucking a bit on her lips.

Lance then shifted his head and started to kiss her jaw, but Pidge stopped him and placed a hand on his chest and pushed him away slightly.

Lance got the memo and immediately stopped, instead planting a kiss on Pidge's forehead and resting his forehead on hers, "Too much?"

Pidge nodded.

"No problem, Pigeon. We'll go at your pace."

Pidge smiled and placed another kiss on his lips, this one long and soft.

Their lips popped as they disconnected and the two let out a sigh. Pidge laid her head on his shoulder an Lance hugged her and breathed in her scent. Peanut butter.

"I can't believe it."

Lance smiled, "Can't believe what?"

Pidge moved away and smirked, "That you finally opened your eyes."

Lance laughed, "That I did," Pidge squeaked as Lance wrapped her in his arms and started kissing her cheeks, "But you're going to have to get used to it 'cause I'm never letting you go now."

When the two returned, their friends were waiting for them. Shiro, Romelle, Krolia, and Coran also came in to join in the feast.

Lance and Pidge materialised from the forest with joint hands and he lifted them up, announcing loudly, "I have found the love of my life!"

The Grijalvians cheered loudly, happy to help two people fix their emotional distress, and team Voltron clapped and smiled for their friends. Coran, Hunk, and Romelle teared up (well, Hunk and Coran actually cried).

Pidge was laughing and Lance took that as a cue to pick her up and twirl her in the air and then bring her down to kiss her soundly. Pidge's hands cupped his cheeks and she smiled in to the kiss.

Lance pulled away and carried her with one hand and faced the crowd and pumped a fist in the air, "Now let's eat some food!"

Pidge smiled and shook her head in amusement, "This is exactly how I imagined our getting together to be like."

Lance laughed and joined their foreheads. He then separated and ran to the table, Pidge bumping up and down in his arm, "Lance put me down!"

"Never!"

[scoobiesminyard]

If you asked any member of the Losers Club about who the biggest romantic in the group was, they would all immediately answer Ben Hanscom. He wrote love poetry for gods sake! He listened to George Michael and Whitney Houston! (He had attempted to hide this slightly embarassing fact, but he underestimated how goddamn snoopy Richie could be). He may have said that he only agreed to watch When Harry met Sally to appease Bev, but the others knew better. He was, put simply, a huge romantic.

Ben loved strongly and purely, and he liked to express that love through his poetry. It was slowly but surely improving, or at least he said. They wouldn’t let anyone read it. Not since last summer.

It had been months since the poem had been left in Bev’s bag. Months since she realised that it was him who had done it. Months since they had softly said the words to each other... and in those months, nothing had happened. They hadn’t kissed, hadn’t held hands or gone on a date (except in Bens daydreams). They hadn’t even talked about it. The only explanation was that Bev didn’t feel the same way (understandably, she was so beautiful and so funny and so strong and he was so.... not) and she was just trying to avoid hurting his feelings. How could he expect anything differently? He wasn’t worthy of her. Not like Bill. Not like brave, handsome Bill... It was days like this that he listened to sadder songs, wrote more negative poems. He felt his heart aching in his chest as he looked at Bev. He would wish miserably that he didn’t love Bev.

But then Bev would look at him, with that glint in her eye. She would laugh at him- no with him, never at him- and she would smile so damn bright. She would bump up against him or listen to him speak with patience, before interrupting to say what was on her mind. It was when they were lying on the grass of the Barrens cloudwatching lazily or she was jitterbug dancing with Richie until they collapsed with laughter, that he knew Bev was the best part of his life. He had loved her since she signed his yearbook, when she became the first person in this school, in any school to really care about him, He didn’t care if she didn’t love him back because she didn’t owe him anything. Bev smoking in silence, Bev smiling at him, Bev cycling around him, Bev tickling him, Bev crying in his arms. She was the best person he had ever known.

And Ben couldn’t hide how absolutely lightheaded he felt around her. The others had known for absolutely ages. It was just an unspoken thing- Ben is whipped for Bev. Bev’s feelings are unclear. Then again, her thing with Bill never went anywhere. Ben had rubbed his sweaty palms against his shorts as Bill told them that he and Bev, whatever they were, were over and would just be friends from now on. Bev seemed happier after that. She didn’t need a guy. She was fine on her own. She didn’t need Ben.

Ben would probably have left things like that for the rest of his life if it was up to him. The silent pining, the confused feelings, the angst of it all. He had already made a move, he thought. He had made his feelings clear that summer and everyday since. And with no result. Anything further would probably be weird and creepy. Things were fine the way they were. Richie felt differently.

"Benjamin my good fellow, I have to make some inquiries” Richie said in his British guy voice, looking at him sternly.

They were walking to the library, where they often studied (well, Ben studied and Richie tried to distract him). It was a January afternoon and it was absolutely freezing. He was wrapped up in a scarf, hat and thick coat but Richie was seemingly fine wearing a denim jacket. He was unfazed by everything. How annoying. Ben was used to Richie’s antics by now and just sighed.

“Whats up Richie?” “I have to ask my good fellow... what are your intentions with Miss Marsh?”

Ben nearly walked into a streetlamp.

“Wh-What? What are you talking about?”

Richie scoffed and slung his arm around Ben's shoulder. This was awkward, considering the height difference (Richie was starting to shoot up like a bean pole) but Richie continued speaking.

“I mean, its absolutely ridiculous how long you two have been iffing about. Its 1990 my good sir! A whole new year, a whole new decade! Its time to get a move on- its almost Valentines day” Richie said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Ben waited a moment and thought about Richie’s words. He never thought he would say this but maybe Richie was right? He could try again, really lay things on the line, be honest-

Ben shook his head. What was he thinking? He couldn’t risk making things more awkward, ruining their friendship. ‘Bev already knows’ he reminded himself. ‘You’re just gonna make her uncomfortable and force her to reject you properly’

He said as much to Richie, who scoffed again.

“Oh, pish posh! Benny boy, Bev is my best friend. I know her okay? She never shuts up about you when we’re smoking. She listens to the same crappy songs you do. She always defends you when I call you a nerd-“

“Hey!”

“and I really don’t know what the girl is waiting for. She still has your poem by her bed, you know. She likes you. And you like her. Maybe she’s waiting for you to ask her again so she can tell you the right answer this time. Romance is a mystery to me. I just hump em and dump em, you know me. But you need to get a move on and get ready to sweeeeeeeeepp her off her feet on Valentines!”

Ben, still processing Richie’s words, stayed silent as they walked in the library doors. Mrs Clarke scowled.

“Mr Tozier. Here again.”

Oh, you couldn’t keep me away from this dusty, cold, silent room full of old books if you tried. Which I know you have. And yet here I am!” Richie said cheerily and steered Ben toward the tables before Mrs Clarke could scold him for insolence.

“You gotta do the damn thing on Feb 14th, handsome. Life is too short” Richie hissed.

“Oh really? Well, I’ll seize the day if you do”

Richie frowned. “Whats that supposed to mean?”

“Oh please. You're smart but I'm smarter. You’re not the only one with eyes and I am not the only one who has a flaming crush on a fellow loser”

Richie, eyes wide behind his glasses, was seemingly stunned into silence and buried himself in a comic he brought from home. His cheeks were tinted red behind the pages. It was very amusing to see him shown up for once. Ben would usually have used this opportunity to actually study in silence for once but his mind had never been further from academics. All he could think about Bev....

And now, all because of that wretched conversation, he was sealing his doom. He was seizing the day. He was getting a move on. He was asking Bev out. On Valentines day. When she said no, kindly but firmly, it was going to crush him. Yet, here he was by her locker. Flowers in his hand and irrational, stupid hope in his heart.

He heard Bev before he saw her. He squared his shoulders and took a deep breath when he heard her laugh echoing down the halls. He would follow that laugh down a cliff, into the sewers, into the very gates of hell. She rounded the corner with Richie, fresh off their morning smoke. She was wearing jeans and a baby blue jumper, her hair freshly washed and beautiful like always. Richie was smacking a kiss on her cheek and she was rolling her eyes in disgust, but her giggling was giving her away. Her eyes landed on him, blushing already and holding flowers as nice as he could buy. She stopped laughing. Richie grinned and started walking away, giving Ben the thumbs up. He was gonna have to kill him after this.

Because Bev didn’t look happy at all. She looked surprised, and a bit worried. She walked slowly toward him and gave a smile that didn’t look too genuine. Ben's heart sank to his toes. This was not going to end well.

“Are these for me?” Bev asked softly. “Y-yes. Happy Valentines Day, Beverly. I was wondering if-if you wanted to, to maybe-“

“Gotta go! Bathroom! See you later!” Bev interrupted, panic clear on her face before she ran in the opposite direction to Ben- and the girls bathrooms. Ben gaped after her for a few seconds before lifting a hand to wave goodbye. By then, she was whipping around the corner out of sight.

Ben couldn’t believe what had just happened. He hadn’t been that confident sure but he thought the worst case scenario would be Bev telling him clearly that she just didn’t feel the same way and she just wanted to be friends. And now it seemed like she was so horrified with him that they would never be friends again. Ben felt tears welling up in his eyes.

“Fuck you Richie Tozier” he muttered and wiped his eyes. He had to get his books and get to the bathroom before anyone saw him crying. The bullying situation had gotten a lot better recently and he didn’t want to change that, especially not today. He ran to his locker, his vision blurry with tears (“stop crying you useless lump” he said angrily to himself with no result) and threw it open-

It was then that a box of chocolates fell out of the locker and hit Ben square on the head, It hurt. A lot.

“What the- can this day get any worse?” Ben muttered bitterly before freezing. Now what exactly was a box of chocolates doing in his locker in the first place? He scrambled to pick it up and stared at it in amazement. There was a note attached.

“My mam used to say that the best way to a mans heart is through his stomach. I personally think poetry is much more effective but I’m not much of a writer. I don’t know how to say this well so I’ll just say it badly. I like you. A lot. you want to catch a movie later? Eat hazelnut for yes, caramel for no. Yes I know you hate caramel, that's the point. Bev x”

Ben had at some point sank down on to the floor of the school, holding the box and note in front of him and staring in awe. He read it again. And again. And again. It didn’t start seeming real. He quickly pinched himself but things didn’t start making more sense. This was real. Bev had-

“Eddie would have a heart attack if he saw you sitting in that nasty floor, you know”

Ben tore his eyes away from the single ‘x’ to see Bev standing in front of him, smiling shyly. She hesitated and extended her arm to him. Ben stared at her for a minute before gulping and taking her hand. Her skin was so soft but when she pulled him up, he felt how strong she was. He didn’t let go of her hand. She didn’t seem to mind.

“I’m sorry for being rude before.” Bev whispered, with a small smirk. “I just- I’ve been planning this for ages. And it was my turn to make a move. I didn’t think you would-and i just wanted to-“

“I wasn’t going to. Definitely no” Ben admitted and Bev looked a little taken aback.

“Why’d you do it then?”

“Richie, he convinced me that maybe I had a chance... I guess he isn’t so stupid after all”

“I disagree! He almost ruined everything! I’m gonna tell him that Eddie likes Stan instead I swear to god, the meddling oaf-“ Bev fumed.

Ben watched her mini rant with a smile. She really had asked him out. She really did like him back. He couldn’t believe it. He didn’t think he ever would.

Ben squeezed her hand. “The answer is yes, by the way. A million times yes. I would eat 10 thousand hazelnut swirls if it meant I could go out with you’

Bev’s eyes crinkled as she beamed. This was better than Ben had ever imagined. This was real. And this was really, really romantic.

[saranel]

Tagging @mags-duranb, who asked (thank you for the interest btw, it was super sweet. Also, I love your art <3333) :)  I was gonna make a post anyway, but I wanted it to be a timeline photoset hence why I’m not replying directly.

I thought it was about time I gave you guys a nice long update on the purrito, since we have now officially reached 2 months of age as of yesterday!

To answer the requester’s question, SHE is doing just fine xD  That’s right, when we visited the vet about a week ago for the second round of shots, we got visible proof (or rather lack thereof) that we have a little girl in our hands.  This was only a couple of days before I made an insta post announcing the official name, because of course it was. Way to embarass me, kiddo.

So I’d like to introduce you all to Buffy, because hello, so dang pretty, look at that last pic that was taken only yesterday, and she’s also pretty fearless and resourceful, though not necessarily highly intelligent xD  Not a vampire slayer, but an ankle slayer for sure.  I generally post updates on her every couple of days on instagram.

Oh, and, just as a final note on the whole name thing, yes, we still call her purrito from time to time, as well as a thousand other nicknames ;) 

So! On to the update (and an extra... suprise?¿¿??) below the cut:

Buffy’s issues with food have gotten a lot better.  She used to be vicious about meals, meowing and pleading hours before her feeding time.  At first we thought we were perhaps feeding her too little, so we followed the general advice everyone gives re: how much to feed kittens, which is to say we just let her eat her fill.  She did not stop until her belly was so distended I had to physically drag her bowl away.  So we decided to slowly increase her intake whenever we saw she started to get skinny.  Which, given her Longcat status, was so. damn. OFTEN.  Seriously, if she looks malnourished in some pics, I assure you she’s not.  She just grows and grows like a damn weed.

Lately, however, since her weight has reached a healthy plateau, she’s gotten much better about food.  No screaming, no scratching, and she doesn’t really complain before feeding time anymore.  She still follows us whenever we dare visit the kitchen, but hey, it could be worse xD

Something I’ve never mentioned here is that when we first found her, her whiskers were very short and stubby, which we originally attributed to her being very young.  But eventually, we noticed that not only were her brow whiskers much longer, there was a lone whisker next to the stubby ones that was regular-sized, and the shorter ones looked almost... manually cut, if that wakes sense.  A bit of research led us to find out that sometimes, littermates may do this to a runt (bite them off) when they’re competing for mom’s milk, which... not only makes my heart ache for our little buddy, it starts to put her whole attitude toward food into perspective.

Long story short, we were prepared for the possibility that she may forever have issues with food, but she’s been improving constantly.

Other than the food issue, Buffy has grown into a happy, healthy kitty :) She’s up to date on her shots, and we took her to the vet only last week where we got nothing but good news.  

She’s very attached to us, especially me since I work from home and basically see her all day, and though she doesn’t complain and yowl when she’s left alone, she is super cuddly when we return home.  

Given her age, she’s incredibly playful to the point that we get more exhausted playing with her than she does xD She likes climbing all over the place and exploring everything within reach, always looking for new ‘lairs’ and stuffing her butt into every nook and cranny, she loves to chew on cables (which has led us to do some highly creative concealing) and often engages in what we call ‘Crab Dancing’ when she gets excited/territorial during playtime:

( I *****MAY***** have edited this.  Slightly.  For my own amusement.  It’s kinda soporific if you stare at it for too long)

We were glad to see she takes to new (human) acquaintances very well, and she hasn’t (yet) started wreaking havoc in our apartment.  She, has, however,  gotten very bitey during playtime, and it’s ALWAYS playtime, so we’re trying to encourage her to bite on toys instead of our fingers: it’s a sloooooooooow process.  There’s also the possibility that she’s teething a bit early so she’s just constantly looking for relief.  We’ve bought her a few special chew toys that should arrive shortly, and hopefully they’ll help.  Even if it’s still early for her, hey, new toys, amirite? xD

Still, she never lashes out to us in anger/anxiety, not even when we gave her a bath where she was visibly distressed (yes, I know it’s not necessary for cats, but we’d never cleaned her with anything but pet wipes since we rescued her; she needed at least one) and yet she never tried to scratch or bite us.  TL;DR she’s mischievous, but not aggressive outside of playtime.

She’s super long for her age and will most likely be a pretty long kitty when she reaches maturity.  Seriously, y’all, Longcat 2.0:

( USB stick for size comparison, lol )

I’m still bummed my theory that she was part Van doesn’t seem to be true (in my defense, she has something very similar to the characteristic Van spot on her nape!), but hey, less shedding xD She also has a permanent bald spot on her spine now (as we knew she would), where the vet had given her that shot that saved her life back when she got sick.

She’s a sweet little doofus, who thinks she’s really a parrot and likes to perch on our shoulder, and meows the whole time I’m in the kitchen because how dare someone in this household eat when she’s not eating too, and when I ignore her grey-green supplicating eyes she just curls up over my foot while I wash the dishes, and she constantly gets tangled up in our legs and waits for us behind closed doors, and she’s a friggin’ Duracell battery who does.not.tire, and she  tosses half the litter out when she digs, and she loves to take naps with us cuddled right over our chests so our heartbeat can lull her to sleep, and we love her.

Here’s to the next two months :)

Size comparison below, using my hand in both pics.  Then and now :)

Addendum:

Edit: You can keep on reading, but the story has a sad ending, unfortunately :(  

The above was the post I had prepared and was going to post yesterday on Buffy’s 2 month ‘birthday,’ so I’ve left it intact.  However, I would be remiss if I didn’t add this latest development:

For a while now, we’ve been discussing how to deal with Buffy’s inexhaustible energy levels, because we do have other responsibilities, all of whom also require a good night’s sleep, which as you may imagine, has been a bit rare lately.  There’s this saying that the only one who can keep up with a kitten is another kitten, but we were very reluctant to adopt another one, since we’re currently dealing with an imminent move and we weren’t sure if we could even afford it.

Well...................

I found and rescued Buffy.  My partner found and rescued this little guy yesterday:

Five things here:

1) NO THIS WAS NOT PLANNED THIS IS SO BEYOND UNPLANNED I’M WFSJKLSDFJSKDHFSDKJ

2) MY PARTNER DIDN’T EVEN FIND HIM IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD HE WAS VISITING HIS MOM ASJKFDHLSADGHFDDFAS

3) WE SERIOUSLY DON’T KNOW IF WE’RE KEEPING HIM.  SERIOUSLY.L

4) YEAH I KNOW YOU CAN’T REALLY SEE MUCH LMAO EVEN HIS WHISKERS ARE BLACK JFC BUT I DIDN���T WANNA SCARE HIM SO I DIDN’T USE FLASH

5) 31 FUCKIN YEARS WITH NO KITTENS AND NOW TWQO, TWO KITTENS WTFFFFFFFF ITS RAINING KITTENS PRAISE BE TO BASTET i guess?? wtffffffffff

*breathes into a paper bag*

I’m going to be even more reluctant to make any grand claims than I was when we found Buffy, because this little dude (this one is a dude, indeed) is in pretty bad shape.  Though she’d been abandoned, Buffy was very clean and hale when we found her, even if she was a bit small and underfed.  

This one though... poor little soot sprite is all skin and bones, he was flea-ridden until we took him to the vet, he’s filthy, he’s terrified and has a bum leg from some sort of accident.  We didn’t even have a plan yesterday when my partner found him, but we figured since we had a lot of leftover milk powder and kitten pate from Buffy, we might as well feed up this little orphan. 

It took some coaxing with a syringe, but he got a bit of milk down which got his appetite going and we were able to feed him some pate.  He actually ate a fair bit, which is encouraging.  We know for a fact he was abandoned by his mom, btw, she’s still roaming around the neighborhood but refusing to tend to him since he’s already older than 4 weeks (maybe 1,5 month old max).  Just two weeks younger than Buffy.  After he got some food down, we took him to our vet, who was reserved but cautiously optimistic even for the leg.  He made us no promises, of course, and he advised we prepare ourselves for the possibility that he might not make it.

We’ve now had him for just under a day and he’s been improving.  He was very scared at first, hissy when I went near him, and the first time I fed him at home, the new environment had stressed him out to the point that I had to use a syringe again to get him to eat.  And yeah, we’ve had to keep him isolated ofc to protect Buffy (and him, omg, she’s literally twice his size in weight, no exaggeration, and most likely a social dunce with other kittes, she would destroy him).  I’ll be able to give him a bath tomorrow afternoon after the 48hr clock on the flea medicine runs out, which is yet another reason we had to isolate him.  Today, he’s been getting less and less reserved around me and he hasn’t needed to be force fed once, he’s been downing pate like no-one’s business.  I weighed him earlier and found he’d gained about 40-50 grams, a number I offer cautiously as both weighings at the vet and today aren’t entirely accurate, because squirmy kitty.  Still, he’s gained weight, even if only a little.   

Buffy can tell something’s up, since we basically had to move her litterbox and feeding area and haven’t let her in that room since.  It’s been... an adjustment xD But she bounces back admirably fast, she didn’t even bat an eyelash at the change; she’s just curious to discover what we’re hiding from her, obviously.  She’s probably heard him meowing, too.

We honestly have no clue what we’ll do with him.  Taking it one day at a time.  He might not make it at all, and even if he does, he may never get along with Buffy, in which case we’ll have to give him away for both their sakes.  I’m not gonna lie, money is a concern.  Research tells me at their age and beyond the cost isn’t prohibiting, not even double that of a single cat.  So if he doesn’t require any costly meds, we can afford him, especially since Buffy can now eat dry food (and so will he in a couple of weeks).  This, again, is all hinging on a) him not having any serious, contagious illnesses, and b) him and Buffy getting along.  In the long run, we know it would be way better for Buffy to have a companion to play and cuddle with, but we have to be realistic and prepare for the worst for now.

Soot sprite is a little cutie, he has the softest, most plaintive meow and there’s even hope for his little leg down the road (though honestly, that’s the last thing that concerns us; even in his current state, he’s perfectly mobile).  His eyes, too, should get better with time if he grows healthier. 

SO WE’LL SEE.  RN I am beyond stressed and reserved, but also kinda hopeful. *sigh*  

[gheysnakeredacted]

All the asks :3c

Das a lot AND answers all my other ones 

(Warning, gets depressing at some points)

Sunrise or sunset?

Sunrise!

Are you mentally ill?

I mean, I haven’t been diagnosed(yet) but I have a feeling I might have some form of depression. (I’m going to see a doctor soon for sure at some point to test this out) and possible ADHD

Are you physically ill?

Does back pain count?

What is the most expensive thing you have bought?

My entire Disney trip that I paid out of pocket

Do you have a job?

Yes! I have two!

Are you in school?

Ye

Are you a dropout?

Nah

Are you in college?

Ye

Introvert or extrovert?

Somehow, I think i’m in-between. Depends on the day.

What do you think when you look at your body?

Big, has weird ass teeth.

What have others said when they look at your body?

Soft?? idk they say im pretty but only at me eyes.

Do you have a particular song that you feel deeply?

Young and Menace by FOB and just, I have a lot but that is just what i’m hyper-fixated on now (and Fever The Ghost which is a really good animated music video)

Talk about a time in your life where you have felt most alive?

Uhhh probably the last time I went on vaca to NH. Good times.

Are you confident wearing a bikini?

Nah. I’m not even confident wearing a one-piece.

Can you look people in the eyes while talking?

Most of the time, but sometimes I can’t.

Has anything terrible happened to you?

Let’s just leave it at ‘yeah’. 

Has anything wonderful happened to you?

Yee

Favorite part of your personality?

idk I’d have to say how I can make people laugh really easily? 

Least favorite part of your personality?

hyper-sensitive to everyone’s emotions which sucks at points because it can really effect my mood

Favorite part of your body?

Hands?

Least favorite part of your body?

idk?/

Favorite quote?

“The first and simplest emotion which we discover in the human mind, is curiosity” - Edmund Burke   

Do you have friendships with all genders?

Yeah Do you have a good relationship with your father?

So and so. I love him but sometimes he needs to just, chill. 

Do you have a good relationship with your mother?

Absolutely not!

Do you have a good relationship with your siblings?

I mean, my brother hates me unless I buy him food and my sister tries to hard but I think its not on the hate or good. 

Have you ever been hurt physically or mentally by a family member?

Both.

Have you ever had a near death experience?

No?? not that I can think of at least.

Do you know anyone who has taken their own life?

Yeah but I didn’t know him well. 

Have you ever tried to take your own life?

Fortunately no. I haven’t gotten the energy to do such things which is good. 

Biggest lie you have told?

Me telling my parents I’m straight when they asked me about my relationship with another girl. 

Do you follow any conspiracies?

nah

Do you believe in a New World Order?

sure if it makes all this shit around me just Stop.

Do you respect your government and the way your country is run?

What government?? I got no government or President at the moment. Just a monkey and his underlings of death!

Is there currently any strife in your country?

Take a wild fucking guess. 

Have you ever been displaced within your country?

All the time my dude. 

Are your friendships healthy?

Yeah I’d say they’re good! (unless i’m unintentionally being bad to my friend then idk that just egh)

Are you currently fighting with a friend?

Noep

Are you jealous of a friend? Why?

I’m jealous of my friend going to this art school I wanted to go to because I have no money to go but its not their fault. I just wanted to go with them. 

Do you believe in the Illuminati?Do you think any celebrities are associated with the Illuminati? Who?

Nah.

How can people tell you are nervous?

Don’t make eye contact with me at all.

How can people tell you are sad?

Cracking of the voice. 

Do you ever express your true feelings?

Most of the time I don’t have a filter so yeah. I do a lot. 

Regrets in your life?

Not drawing more.

Achievements in your life?

Some of my art got put on display at my college’s art gallery so that was nice. And I bought a car. 

What did people say about you in school?

Gay? Gay.

What did you say about people in school?

I don’t know any of that drama. Not a fuck. 

Is there something you have never told anyone?

Yeah I guess. 

Have you committed an illegal act?

noep

If you had two days to spend one million dollars how would you spend it?

Pay upfront my dream college tuition then pay for a small cozy house and then give the rest to my friends/family. 

What were your aspirations at age 5, 10, 15, 18?

5 I can’t remember, 10 I wanted to paint clouds for a living, 15 I wanted to die, and 18 I wanted to move out of my house AND die. 

Describe your first kiss? Was it how you imagined?

Messy and clumsy. Did not expect, after living in my heterosexuality household, for it to be a girl. 

Growing up were you in a wealthy, average, or low income household?

Average, low income, then average again. 

Are you from a broken marriage?

Yes.

Have you been raised by a solo parent?

No.

Do you know both your parents?

No. 

What colour eyes, hair and skin do you have?

My eyes are grey, my hair is dirty blonde, and my skin is pale. 

Have you abused drugs or alcohol?

No

What languages can you speak?

Just English. 

Do you conform to your societies standards?

To get paid? Yeah. 

Do you cry often?

No. 

Do you tell people what you think of them?

Only when its my close friends and its just sappy compliments. 

Are you comfortable accepting compliments?

I guess, sometimes I feel as though I don’t deserve them though. 

Are you comfortable giving compliments?

ABSOLUTELY!!!

Is any mental illness hindering your life?

My depression sometimes makes it hard to drive without being constantly bombarded with intrusive thoughts. 

Is any physical illness hindering your life?

Nah.

Do you keep up with current events?

So and so. 

What’s the latest news in the world you have heard/read?

Protests against nurses in Boston? idk what it was about though since I saw it briefly while I was at work this morning.

What have you done today?

I got up at 5 am to go to work, then got home to draw a little, and now i’m spending my time doing this. 

Do you sleep well?

Sometimes.

Do you sleep badly?

Most of the time. 

Have you ever hurt anyone because you were hurting?

Yes. 

Has anyone ever hurt you because they were hurting?

Super yes. 

Have you ever had to end a friendship/relationship? Why?

Yes I had to end my relationship with my best friend when I was young, because of our parent’s disputes. 

Have you ever stopped someone from hurting themselves?

Yes..

Has anyone ever stopped you from hurting yourself?

No. 

Do you like your laugh?

idk. 

Are you preparing for an apocalypse? And what kind?

no not really. 

Do you have any funny family stories?

One time I found a garter snake in my old house’s yard and began to run around the adults carrying it. There was a lot of screaming. 

Are you religious?

Not really. 

Do you like to watch true crime shows or movies?

I watched a lot of CSI:Miami and Criminal Minds when I was younger :D

Are you interested in cults?

Nope. 

Would you like to raise a family in your country?

Maybe. 

List some things you wanted in your childhood but never got?

Confidence. 

Is there a large age gap between you and a sibling?

Uhh the biggest age gap I think is my brother which is 9 years. 

Are you from a blended family?

Yes!

Do you believe in marriage? Why/Why not?

I only believe in marriage if there is good communication and a good understanding of each other. 

What is the nicest thing anyone has said to you?

One time, this little girl came up to the window and she said I was beautiful. I almost started to cry. (and like, my friends complimenting me that makes my day too)

Do you keep a journal?

I used to! Don’t got time for that now!

Would anyone be hurt by reading it?

I mean second hand embarassment if you read my old one. 

Do you have children?

No

Have you been pregnant?

No!!

List your favorite movies?

The Iron Giant, Scooby Doo and The Cyberchase/Alien Invaders, The Lego Movie, idk just a lot of movies. 

List your favorite people?

uhhh my friends, just. All of them? Too many to name but I love them all. 

Talk about the birthmarks and scars on your body?

I have a crescent shaped scar/indention on my face because I rammed myself into a coffee table when I was young. 

Do you look after yourself?

Lol no. 

Do you put yourself or others first?

Ye!

Are you happy today?

Sort of. 

Are you loved?

I think so? 

[yesithoughtthat-blog]

It’s OK to quit your job

Maybe it was when I sat at my desk that I realized it, or in line at Pret and feeling the urge burning in my throat, clouding my mind, numbing my hands. 

“everyone cries -- I’m just an easy crier.” I wasn’t ashamed of crying, crying is in my blood, it’s the first way I usually come to express my (almost always) overwhelming emotions. So when I casually strolled into the bathroom at Pret, which I knew would soon become my safehaven, I immediately burst into tears as a way of relieving all the emotions building up. I wasn’t necessarily overwhelmingly sad, but I knew I could afford a little meltdown before I had to head back into my first day of work, and why not? It would give me relief and then I could pick myself back up and continue on my way. I think it’s funny how whenever I cry, I always look at myself in the mirror during the midst of my breakdown. I’m always surprised by how I look even though I’ve literally seen myself cry a million times. Just like, wow, your really deep in some emotions right now, huh. I was going to type, “this bitch really is ugly af when she cries” but I’m working on reducing my use of self-depricating humor. 

So going back to my breakdown, I’m in the mirror, crying, realizing my foundation is being wiped away with my tears, fuck I didn’t pack my foundation so I’ll just blot my face when I get back to the office and hope there aren’t obvious tear tracks on my face. I don’t exactly remember if I felt relief, maybe just relief that I had a moment to not pretend I was ok, but the sadness was still there. I had had a stressful morning, me and my dad had missed our train, fast-walked to my building, I was exhausted from not sleeping (stress and anxiety, ofc), I had barely ate (because not eating when I’m stressed is a great habit, ofc) and now I couldn’t stop the thoughts coming into my head.

The thoughts. Like I miss being at college, I miss my friends, I can’t believe I’m an adult now. The thing about having OCD is my mind tends to go to extremes, tends to believe in the worst case scenario, tends to make me, or at least try, the most miserable I can be. Thankfully it’s all kind of muted and hazy thanks to my antidepressant, my dear dear antidepressant Viibryd. And reading this now I am remembering I never took it today. 

OK back from that. So, yea, I missed being at college, I was exhausted, I could not believe that I would have to repeat this whole day again tomorrow. That drived me nuts too. I hate waking up early with a passion. Again, stems from staying up late because anxiety then it becomes a habit then it starts to interfere with my life, as do all self-destructive habits that come along with mental illnesses. And on top of that, starting a new job is just stressful in its itself! So I had all of these seemingly nice people welcoming me, I had a promising job, but I was miserable. I was silently crying at my desk, I was barely able to concentrate on my job, but I figured it’s pass, that I needed to give myself time to adjust and that I could push through it like I had everything else. 

And thennnnn the next day came. Let me preface this by interjecting that when I say I have an “anxiety disorder” (because OCD is usually met with a face that I can tell is thinking “well I have no idea what that it is but it sounds unpleasant”), they (anyone I tell), is usually thinking that I am anxious over the standard things. Like, oh, I’m anxious people won’t like me, or I’ll have a lot of work, which yea, I was. But also, OCD gives me alot of other stuff to worry about. So just going through about my usual day, I can list off the top of my head what I’d be worried about. Like, I get out of the car and say bye to my mom, and I think “What if this is the last time I see her,” which is not a fun thing to think. And then I wait for the train and I think “what if I passed out right now and then I fell on the tracks, or I tried to get on the train and I fall through the gap” or then I get on the train and think “what if the train gets stuck AND THEN i pass out on the train or I have an anxiety attack” AND THEN i get to penn and I think “what if i passed out in front of all these people or get an anxiety attack” AND THEN i walk to work and that’s when the vertigo starts, or the dissociation, or the clammy hands or dry mouth or all of the above and I’m thinking “all you have to do is walk in a straight line, just walk to work” and I can feel the fuzziness in my hands, I can feel it all over my fucking skin and I feel like it’s someone else looking through my eyes and I just can’t grasp if it’s me looking out or if it’s me thinking about thinking and if I’m really there and am I losing my mind or am I imagining my vision going slightly shifty, slightly hazy to make me nervous but not to put me in any danger, just uncomfortable enough to put some sweat on the back on my neck and twitch my hands in my pocket, picking at the same piece of skin next to my thumbnail over and over until it’s bleeding and I have to suffocate it. I have to suffocate the thoughts and I have to get to work on time but I’m so stressed I’m so. fucking. stressed.

And then I get to work. And it doesn’t stop. And mind you, this is my second day! And of course, the second day I cried again, silently weeping at my desk. Of course this job involved the two things I hated, public speaking and flying. it was almost laughable. I actually did laugh, me and my therapist later on. My whole job was giving presentations to clients (middle-aged, stoic faced, insurance or investment clients), and FLYING to different states to give these presentations. Maybe by myself, maybe with a coworker. And I knew 100% I couldn’t do that. So why would I stay? Quitting right before I was supposed to give a huge presentation was obviously not a good idea. But to even think about the work I was doing right now, at that moment, at my desk bored as fuck and feeling so inferior to everyone around me working on computer science and business, which is probably not an accurate but yes how I did feel thought, and then to be stressed, to just want to catch my breath. I knew I had to quit. I knew I was pushing myself too hard. My mom knew it, we had looked at each other before I had gotten out of the car and I had known that fuck, this was going to be hard wasn’t it. So on top of all this stress was my good old friend vertigo popping back into my life, and I’m sitting at my bosses desk and were listening in on a meeting and I feel the floor shift. I had felt it before too when I had gone to the bathroom and that sometimes happens when I sit for too long (and meanwhile as I’m peeing my coworker is brushing her teeth because she had forgot to this morning, if anyone wants an idea of what adult life really is like), and anyways, I’m at her desk and I feel the floor shift. Up, down, tilting side to side like I’m on a boat and I start to feel a little uneasy. And I cannot wait for this fucking meeting to be over. For this client to just shut up already the software is fine, do you really need to understand that part Kathy can I please just leave already, so I’m essentially just staring at the desk at this point and then my boss asks me if I have any questions and I :) of course do not have any, I’m great, awesome, thanks! And I get back to my desk and S.S. Anxiety is fast away on its course, taking me up and down and downnnnn and up and I am freaking the fuck out, naturally. This happened to me before, so it’s not a new feeling, it’s probably my birth control (which is another long story) so I of course then begin to realize -- how am I walking back to Penn. And that fills me with dread. A lot of dread. And after about 20 minutes of deliberation I meekly walk into the girl’s office next to mine, HR, because I guess that’s where you ask to leave early? Who knows. And i ask her if i can leave early and I can feel the tears wanting to surface, I’m embarassed and she tells me I have to ask my boss and I do noooot want to do that. So I sit back at my desk and I’m trying to do some deep breaths, trying to calm down and it eventually it passes! Thank god it passes. And thank god it finally becomes 6 and I start walk to back to penn and I get in the first cab i see because i have had a long day and I deserve this thank you very much. And the cab driver is super nice, telling me how to get to penn because he can tell i have no idea where I’m going, poor girl. And i get to penn and I get on a 6:20 train and i close my eyes and almost miss my stop. But it’s ok because I’m finally home. 

Fast forward the next 2 days, I’m home sick with vertigo, I go to a primary doctor and then an ENT and get prescribed medication that helps. I think my boss is mad at me but I’ve got other fish to fry. I go in monday, I try my hardest, and it’s too much. And that’s what I want to get at. Life is not linear. Just because your “supposed” to do something doesn’t mean you have to. I took a year off of college, even though I wasn’t “supposed” to, and I will never regret it, I am so fucking thankful and grateful I did. And when I sent my resignation letter in later that day, I knew I would be grateful I did.

It’s OK to not follow the line people try to paint you. To take a break, to take care of yourself. My happiness and health comes first. I will be OK not having this job, with finding something else, what other job, I do not know as of right now. But for now, I am going to commit to working on things I have wanted to for a whileeeee, like working out! and continuing to improve how I manage my emotions, because that will always be an up and down situation I can work on. I ranted alot to my friends about this, but I also googled “quitting job bc of anxiety” and reading the 3 other blog posts I found made me feel a little less alone, and I’m a huge advocate of speaking out about mental health, so hopefully someone else out there reads this and knows they aren’t alone too. You’ll be ok. Trust me.

[somedaypast-thesunset]

i was ready for bed and heard the call of weed again - or what i hoped would be weed but instead was 10$ which is probably honestly for the best in the long run. i probably honestly need 10$ more than i needed weed - and they stll smoked me a few joints anyways. 

but it was good to speak to other people. to regain a sense of my surroundings that is not the little bubble of the 5 streets that seperate my house from his. because ive lived in that very protective bubble for atleast several weeks and although its protective, its not a bubble thats for me. i am just like hitching a ride on someone elses bubble and neglecting my real life because it sucks. and its hard. 

it 3am. and i want to like pretend im going to make some fucking plans for tomorrow an do things but i dont know if i will. i know that this is a very weird way to be living right now and i have to excessively apologize for fucking living in a squat house at this point. it doesnt have to be thiissssss bad. this is stupid. but i dont have the energy to make it any better right this second so im just kind of thinking about it - which is super typical for my life. that describes my entire being. 

the way i would describe this week has been like an rpg video game but like.. in a metaphysical world. like i existed in this world while also in another world of my mental being and continually battling shit that was just .. really stupid and unnecessary. this was like a frustrating shittly made rpg. and the first couple of levels are painfully hard where like its just grinding and grinding to be able to do anything. and then once you get to thing you grinded so hard for its lik the most impossible glitched bugged out boss but you already put 80 hours of your life into it so youre going to find that 1 in a million fucking way to beat the boss that for som reason in itself has like  17 side quests you have to complete before you even touch the guy. 

and its like the people aroud me are shitty people watchng a stream of this video game but all they see is my webcam. they dont see the actual game. they just assume what the fuck im doing or how im doing it or if its hard or not and give me vague advice that kind of rings true to the situation but they have no idea whats actually going on anyways. and like everyone in awhile you get this shitty comment about how you suck or you’re a failure and its like you dont even know what the fuck is happening on the other side here right now because im doing pretty well for the circumstances at hand. 

i dont know if im even at the final boss i think im on the 17 side quests. and like i dont have fucking time for this but i also dont not have time for this because its life or death inside of my head right now. you cant walk away from that its very serious and im stuck inside my head. 

being around other people helped. but like i wouldnt have been able to go out and meet these people for a random thing. i wouldnt. but the way it was set up - and that in itself felt like a fucking side quest to make it happen; i felt comfortable and could sit and just observe a conversation and just participate when i felt like it. i didnt sit and moan about my life at all. i was more than capable of having a normal conversation about totally neutral topics and common interests. most of the time i just listened but listening made me feel acknowledged. lke i also existed because this person was telling me someting and to them in that moment i was important because they wanted to tell me this thing. 

because they wer emore acquaintances than true friends i “knew”, i was also able to regain reality by seeing their own display of personal greivances. if i shared mine, they would have been worse. and times in my head i couldnt help but think you know you guys are actually kind of lucky. these things could all be a lot worse. you have a lot going for your life. but this is life. and they have their own set of problems which weigh heavy on them enough to need to air their issues to people they dont actually know very well. and that says something, regardless. they also feel a sense of desperation in expressing something that maybe theyre not even expressing to other people. 

i didnt take that chance with them for myself though. i was very subtle - or i perceived myself being subtle when talking about the issues ive had lately. im also really confused by these issues - the side quests. because i know these are side effects of the drugs and im panicking about very odd things that dont need such a sense of panic but its bringing to the surface the idea of these problems existing at all. like focusing on not having family. i havent had family for awhile. this is not the most pressing issue but it was killing me for hours on end. and like - this takes up way too fucking much of my day. to be sooo panicked about something you cant even do shit about is exhausting. and then like i project these feelings on to him because i want to share something with him - like i dont even know if i want to share a life with him because im crazy and this is crazy and everything is fucked. but i want something with him and being crazy and too fucked to work / find a job is standing in my way. i have nothing to prove im a functioning human. and im barely a functioning human, honestly. like it is very surprising i am 27 now. thats fucked. 

regardless if i do something or not, things are going to change dramatically in my life in the next several weeks. because i am very sure i am going to be evicted. and i probably very much deserve to be evicted. i owe atleast 3000$ point blank in my life with all my debts, which it could be more - and i have no job and ive spent weeks trying to “get better”. thats terrible. i absolutely deserve to be evicted. i am already homeless and i live like a homeless person squatting in a random apartment i got lucky to find. like this is fucking nuts the way im living right now. and people are witnessing it. they literally have witnessed this and thats pretty embarassing. 

again in my head im like oh yeah im going to get up tomorrow and just go out and look for work. but i havent showered in three days. or eaten anything substantial - out of catatonic fatigue and general lack of care - and ive pretty much allowed the cats to piss on everything i own so i have no clean clothes or underwear. i just let everything around me go to complete shit 

and its funny because i naturally wanted to solve my issues with weed. like a fucking power up to get through the worst of it and i went through fucking everything and everyone to do it. with no fucking money. i made money and still got weed. thats how fucking well i did that. 

and yet.. here i am. this is ... like im the weirdest craziest person to be around. i really think i have to be like pretty up there in craziness. like the perception people must have of me ... if its even a ‘perception’ since its probably the reality but im like .. crazy bitch over here. i cant even imagine knowing me. i cannot even put myself outside of myself and imagine knowing me as a person. i would be a super frustating person to witness in life. i am really .. i dont know. ive existed on fucking nothing. like how did i even do that. why would he even be around me for this long outside of his own craziness. like why the fuck would you even love me. its not even a self pity thing im generally like ... appreciative that i am being loved but wow why would you. i really offer... being a nice person. thats what i got in life. i am a nice person who is creative and like fairly well read & intelligent with an assortment of domestic skills none of which are really top notch but they get you through. other than that i got nothing. i got debt. i got shitty cats that even im like these are probably our last days together. i have good looks which is probably why im honestly getting by in life and have gotten by so far. and that honestly is not even something to gloat on because its not like im super fucking hot. im just a good looking person. like slightly above average. i have a pretty nice body as well but i dont keep in shape in anyway and am frequently malnutritoned. ive also completely scarred probably 70% of my body which is very obviously done by me. so thats always fun when youre about to fuck someone for the first time. and i mean.. im not even that into sex. ive been called a tease more than once because i allowed my good looks to give me what people were offering me when i knew it was because of my looks. i wanted something, but i wasnt interested in them. 

i have no formal education and dropped out in early highschool - like very early. i dont drive. i dont have a car ad defiinitely could not afford one. i dont even have a bike. i cant afford public transit most of the time. im a nice person, you know. i’m caring, sometimes to a fault. i have potential to give a very serious kind of love to the right people. but thats it. thats what i have to offer a person in a relationship with me. thats what i have to offer in a life with me. i mean, i dont even have real interests. i watch documentaries. thats honest to god my biggest interest and has been for months. its like a fucking hobby in some ways. i watch guys playing video games on youtube - a lot. i dont even play video games. i honestly dont know why im fucking watching it. this is totally unnecessary and ive done it openly and just fallen asleep peacefully. why? thats so weird. thats such a weird thing to do. i smoke, alot. i smoke a ton of weed. thats one of my worst qualities. i cost a lot of money and make .. none. the amount of money ive cost other people is probably in the thousands and that was out of kindness. just so i could exist. but i know it does help me. it helps me cope and to leave it behind with no coping skills is really unhelpful to my life. 

so where do i start? probably by going to sleep. waking up at some decent hour - its almost 4 now so i hope for 10, but this is just spewing dreams in alot of ways. i could wake up and continue to lay in bed for hours. somethng simple like stretching - which i honestly really need after this anyways. taking a shower. trying to clean my house. find money, just.. keep finding money and money resources. thats the best i can fathom right now. i want to say ill find a job but thats so complex of a hurdle i just .. i can successfully find money in trade for simple labor. not a job. fucking.. eat food. i have food. i literally have food to eat. i just need to get back ... i dont know. somewhere. back in myself. 

tommorow will be the beginning of the final battle right now. there will be more battles, more shitty rpg games, but this battle will be finished soon and im getting back to real life. real fucking life.