#its good angst

[neominthe]

SPOILERS FOR SCTIR FOR +CH 200

CW: (possibly) Eating disorder ED, depression

Something that keeps me awake at night: at the beggining of the story, Yoohyun's death isn't so painful for the viewers, because we only see what is on the surface of the Han brothers' life. It's through memories and flashbacks that we get to learn 3 facts: Yoojin dedicated his entire life to Yoohyun, they parted ways and in the end they reunited, only for one of them die. That's the introduction of SCTIR for us. Moreover, Yoojin is desesperate to leave the past behind, so he doesn't linger on his traumatic memories for too long, hence why the pain of reading SCTIR isn't instant.

It is gradual.

Yoojin and we learn that the past was never erased. It still happened, and exists in the form of Yoohyun's body out in the cold. Gradually, it becomes more apparent how Yoojin is still so affected by his previous life, despite his fear resistance skill. It starts with small things like him avoiding eating unless someone tells him to do so, always occupying himself with tasks that could be handled by someone else, negative thoughts about himself for every single action he takes and so on. I love, with all my heart, the manhwa, but the novel makes it so much more apparent how Yoojin loathes himself, to the point he keeps wishing he wasn't a human being, rather an item for his brother to use. It's so messed up to want to abandon all your humanity, feelings and concept of self just so you can be of help.

SCTIR is fun to read, but even more so with the unreliable narrator that is Yoojin. He sees what he does as nothing impressive, considering the people he is surrounded with, despite running the kisengsu facility, negotiating with the hair loss company to develop a new product, managing Seok Hayan's research team, mantaining diplomatic ties with Japan, training and helping other hunters and, most importantly, caring for all the S classes. He worries for their well-being because it's only natural for him to do so, as the Perfect Caregiver.

And, in the middle of it all, the only thing Yoojin spares for himself is hate. He doesn't want to live long for himself, but rather for Yoohyun, even though Yoojin already has been through the pain of loss. When Yoojin died in chapter 241, the first thing that he thought was Yoohyun. He didn't even think about how much it hurted dying (with a freaking shot on the head)! He just wanted to reunite and soothe Yoohyun that he was okay.

Speaking of which, in Sigma's arc, as Yoojin was alone, he really stopped caring for his well-being, so Sung Hyunjae took that role and did everything he could to help Yoojin. But, for him to even have to create a quest just so Yoojin could eat is what sparked my lizard brain to write this post.

My point is, there isn't an arc dedicated for recovery (at least until the chapter I have read that is like, ~300) and that is beautiful, because Yoojin is still processing what he went through, and we get to see that. Yoojin has such an interesting character arc as he begins wanting to forget the past, as it is too painful, to start running after it. He can't let go of it, because letting it go means letting his little brother go too. Which is why he says he will never be okay again in chapter 278.

[hinamie]

to moving forward

[finleycannotdraw]

we need all types of art in fandoms

[lorehappy83]

"Grant me your wrath, my dear. For I've become unworthy of your forgiveness"

[kringle-c]

"It's only-"

[omens-for-ophelia]

i'm terrified that i might never have met me

- growing sideways, noah kahan

[blabberoo]

so theres this one fic....

[emmcfrxst]

logan who doesn’t understand your obsession with his hands. i mean these hands, in his opinion, have done so much damage; he’s killed plenty of people, some more deserving than others, and he doesn’t even want to start thinking about the claws— they disgust him so much, so horribly painful in more ways than one; he still recalls the horror of the bones piercing through his skin for the first time, still remembers the nausea that struck him when he woke up to the adamantium claws for the first time, is reminded of their existence with every painful unsheathing of their power…. he doesn’t understand why you want them on you as much as you do, doesn’t understand why you even allow them to touch you, to give you pleasure, to hold you…. he doesn’t think his hands deserve to be on you, but you’re always reaching for them, intertwining your fingers together, pulling them in your lap, bringing them to your face for him to cradle, feeling safe enough to wrap one around your throat while you ride him…. logan doesn’t understand why you’re so enamored with his hands, but he’s grateful for it; it makes him want to be less hard on himself— if you believe his hands deserve to touch you, then why shouldn’t he?

[alicornze7]

uhm guys I think she’s losing it

[katydoodles]

Shadybug got me back into this brain-rot again.

[aphel1on]

AURGH auwarghh the autistic parental trauma... the epi was wacky hijinks then dropped this on us out of nowhere... (sobs) laios... laiiiiooooos

[starscream-is-my-wife]

This is part 1 of a continuation for my other post where LL Megatron gets trapped in the G1 universe, I was thinking about how someone would go insane in this cartoon world and thought "what if Megatron had someone else to accompany him" so, I gave Starscream an existential crisis

Edit: pt 2 here

[hinamie]

spiraling

[cookiedough77]

you guys remember that super duper old post i made? of course you dont, anyway bug noire but make it adrien

what a silly guy

[lil-vibes]

Day 1: You are who you eat

/Next

(heres the prompt list!)

bonus:

[mulletstanleys]

"one, two, three, four, five.... six?"