#its gonna be fun taking the piss hate or me genuinely being mean about the show she holds in her little teenage heart

[sapphic-luthor]

Watching Glee after Supergirl I can't tell if the backwards appreciation of Barry and Kara's actors will be cute or not. Either way it sounds like a ton of fun for y'all!

apparently gf only likes the first seasons and thought it all went downhill by the season melissa was in but i’m nothing if not a completionist so we will be watching the whole damn thing against both of our willa

[prentissluvr]

i dont have all of my sam thots and dean thoughts just yet but I had to send in this bc I completely forgot about meg! sam

and its a damn shame that we didn't see more of that bc it solidified my stance on being a sam girlie

we got at least 3 episodes of demon dean (i have not seen him yet i've only heard about it) but we got like less than half an hour with meg! sam and honestly we deserved more with him

meg! sam made me feel lots of things LOLL

(i wanted to be jo SO BAD in that episode LMAO)

now i need your thots on him please :p

KJDFSJL NO BECAUSE... NOOO I CANT thinking about the amount of meg!sam edits i've seen in the past few days. thinking about the one saved in my camera roll. thinking about throwing up pissing my pants projectile vomiting and passing the fuck out. i reiterate tho, i'm normal!! i'm so so so normal and i don't feel things about it!!!!!!!

i'm honestly still like borderline unsure about how nsfw i want to get on this blog, but uhhh i'm just gonna start typing and see where my dirty fucking mind takes me!

cw : highly suggestive!! no smut, but still absolutely no minors!! MDNI!! contains condescending/mean/possessed sam, but also sweet sam too <33. use of gendered terms, but it is gender inclusive to fem, masc, and gn as much as i could make it! horrible writing it's genuinely just me going feral :))

sooo basically for me the worst (best) part of meg!sam was his voice! it's so bad (never have i ever heard anything hotter in my life). IDK I DONT EVEN THINK I CAN FORM A COHERENT THOUGHT OVER THIS NOT GONNA LIE. uhm uhhh ummmm uhhhh uhmmmm.

so basically so basically, essentially, wwowowowowowowowifjhshf alright lets focus on one thing at a time.

we'll start with that goddamn voice of his. the way it goes from teasing, condescending to deeper, more gravelly and matter-of-fact and then back to condescending LIKE WHOO IM GONNA NEED TO TAKE A LAP. idk just thinking about his large hand on the back of your head, maybe tangled in your hair if the way you wear it allows for that, and his veiny forearm visible through your peripheral vision as he says "open up.. that's a girl" like he did to jo😭😭😭 (or he's says "thaaat's it" to keep things gender neutral, dragging out the "that's" for an extra second, that extra gravel in his condescending tone).

and while this is in possessed!sam context, he'd definitely say things like that normally, i do personally envision him to be less condescending and more sincere. either way, hot as fuck if you ask me. also this isn't meg!sam, but in season seven he says "good girl" and i do listen to that clip several times a day, i am so serious when i say that and i have no shame about it!! i have daddy issues so i do not care!!! so yeah he also says good girl/boy/whatever variation you enjoy best <3 uhmmm yeah but the main point is his hot as fuck voice, right next to your ear with his breath tickling you sensitive skin. especially with that whisper. oh god the whisper😭 and along with "that's a girl," there's atta girl and he'd use that one too so i'll go die in a hole :))) but yeah he genuinely thinks you're so good for him so expect that praise, whether you want it sweet or mean.

then we also have his facial expressions!! the smirk he uses to rile you up or that he flashes you, all mean and haughty because he knows he's getting to you. the fake pity too!! lord help me, once again the utterly fake pity just falls under that condescending persona that was so hot about meg!sam. i'm just gonna use photo evidence and you can imagine him looking at you like that!! enjoy!

last thing i have to say about meg!sam is manhandling!! ahahaahahahaahahah i'm normal and okay!! (this is a cry for help i need him so bad). um yeah while i hate the context of the manhandling of jo in the episode because it's crossing so many boundaries, i will still enjoy the fact that he is hot. so yeah! have fun thinking about sam whirling you around and pinning you between his chest and nearest surface, hand on your forehead to tilt your chin up and give him full access to the skin of your neck. his other hand is pinning your wrist to whatever surface is behind you, and your own free hand is tangled in his hair and he lays wet, desperate kisses all over your neck and collarbone. that's all hahahahaha :)))) feeling so sane right now!!

[oflgtfol]

Okay same venom 2003 anon again. I dont have anything else to add to what ur saying as again i didnt read venom 2003 So im just nodding respectfully and wisely to everything your saying but re ur tags is the artist you mean Humberto Ramos? Bc if it is if it helps he's a pretty unpopular artist amongst people (though usually for criticisms about his art being “too cartoony” instead of anything meaningful like the objectification of women which i personally despise when people do that. No more realism sexy super models i want hyper stylisation ONLY in my comic books just to piss those people off). I also personally do not care about him as an artist no hate nor respect towards him but again the bar is so low 😭 ive seen so many genuinely boring deeply misogynistic artists who treat women the exact same awful objectifying way but who get passes in comic book spaces because their art is more Conventionally Likeable. Like if im gonna be forced to see a woman be drawn as only one body type and face and breasting boobily id much rather take the uglier style or the more stylised style just to have something Interesting To Look At then Another Boring Generic Guy Drawing Semi Realism with Soft Shading Based off 1950s Pin ups but thats just me personally as a lifelong comic book guy

YES HUMBERTO RAMOS. i hate the venom 2003 art but in the past two hours i've come to realize that humberto ramos is my real enemy here and the only real fault of venom 2003 is its resemblance of ramos's art (of course in addition to its own home brewed sexism).

i really love stylized art and i hate realistic styles. i love the classic ASM look because it struck a nice balance between the two: the 1960s-80s need to depict the human form in a standardized, realistic way (likely due to toy sales, at least if its caused by the same phenomenon of 80s cartoons, a la he-man, having that same look to them), but the flat colors, limited color palette, and cell shading were so so wonderfully simple and sleek in a really fun way. gave such a distinct Look to the comic, and the simplicity of the colors also made the realistic lineart not too realistic. it just felt very intentional, very careful, very creative with their technological limitations, and it's such a timeless look that has aged so well even still to the 2020s

so while i love the classique look, i also love when comic styles go even further to really break the mold and stylize further!! herrera in venom 2003, and ramos's whole *gestures broadly* COULD be good, if only they were done a little bit more purposefully, and yknow, minus the outrageous sexism

and yes sexism is overall so entrenched in marvel comics and i wouldn't be surprised if it also infected literally all other comic companies out there, considering We Live In A Society. anyone who dares to argue that misogyny doesn't exist needs to go become a comic geek and read hundreds of marvel comics and see

1. how utterly shallow women are characterized compared to their male counterparts

2. how female characters so rarely get to exist on their own outside of a male character; ie. female characters who are only side characters for a male hero, or superheroines who are literaly just "female version of xyz popular male character!", etc etc etc

3. the way women are visually depicted compared to men. men, especially the superheroes, are still subject to white patriarchal standards of beauty of course, but the huge muscles they're drawn with are a form of power, a "look how cool i am." you will never get that with a female character. they are only ever depicted with the same fucking face, the same fucking body type, the same fucking curves and tasteful cleavage and pouty lips and cat eye makeup.

4. and while the men have these like insane muscles that do not exist irl, they at least get to POSE in ways that are not sexualized. the women characters, even if their designs are not objectifying, will still be posed so that their butts face the camera, they have a pretty side profile to show off the silhouette of their breasts, etc. if you really pay careful attention to the way women are placed in comic panels compared to men it's so insane. so fucking insane

but yknow, all of those things tend to manifest in subtle ways, ways that you really can only pick up when you've read so many comics over a decent amount of time, and when you're otherwise prepared to read for and pick up on sexist elements. so i guess i REALLY draw my line and get pissed the fuck off beyond belief when comic writers and/or artists then begin to just be, blatantly, fucking sexist. a la those terrible panels from ASM spider island. a la that one she-hulk issue. a la spider-man/red sonja. when it's blatant it means you give NO fucks, it means you don't even believe women are people because you don't expect them to be engaging your works and thus you don't expect any sort of audience outcry from your blatant sexism, it means you literally only see women as objects for your male audience to oogle over, it's beyond frustrating

[nerdyenby]

Red time :D I’m watching Ranboo

I am so behind on vods but it’s MCC day baby!!!!!!!

This team is gonna be so good, so silly but I think they could win

THE DRESS IS STUNNING KING but why the magenta eye makeup?? it adds to the unhinged vibe lol

Ranboo doesn’t know what sequins are?????

“I don’t mean anything that I say ever, any of the time, just so everyone knows” my streamer

HAPPY ROSH HASHANAH EVERYONE!!! <333

“Don’t be pissed at me if I don’t do well ❤️” why are they like this /pos

Ranboo’s religious side screaming for help every time he wears a dress 😭😭😭

Bad news: freedom of speech isnow behind a paywall, Good news: the money goes to charity

The M rating is exclusively so they can say death threats

“I swear to god, be funny!!! ‘Haha I said funny jokes’ I KILL YOU!! Guys it’s all jokes <3 it’s all jokes and it’s all love <333”

Shelby INSTANTLY gaslighting Ranboo into believing the audibly farted, I adore this duo with all my soul

Ran and Shelby are now pushoverduo <333 /s

WATER DOESNT HAVE A TASTE

I love this team so much

You can watch Ranboo but watch out, it’s a slippery slope to the “HELP HELPPPPP” vocal stim

Bingo enthusiasts my beloved

Ranboo just screaming when Shelby called them sexist 😂😂😂

Michael is a genuinely good sandkeeper, he just needs a team that will hype him up and respect him

The way I knew exactly where Ran was going lmao

Ranboo staring into the camera when they start talking about saw

Oh…. Ok……

Bingo but Fast

BINGOOOOOOOOOO

I missed bingo so much, it’s not even funny

He found a Michael you guys

“Wait can we take fall damage?” “I don’t think so” *falls to his death*

Gosh, I am still not used to the new caves, they’re so beautiful and scary

“I’m so smell and dumb :(” “that’s okay!!”

Holy crap the top 4 teams are all so close

“That was fun… well, it’s all downhill from here” SHELBY 😂😂😂

Parkour Tag

Them being excited to play it because they all hate it lol

Ran losing their absolute mind in parkour tag, maybe this game is fun

Shane is killing me actually

“I don’t feel strongly about anything” same!!!

This team is so funny holy

“Oh we’re in tenth right now” “No we’re not” Shane 😂😂😂

“Guys we’re better than a bunch of 40 year olds” “they’re not 40!!!!!” “They’re 50 theyre 50 theyre 50” this team oh my god

Ran calling Skeppy homophobic and Shane’s “I mean… is it-?”

“Who are we going up against? Who am I?” “You’re Ranboo” “Oh ok, that’s right” their chemistry has no right to be so good what the

I love Joel and Shane’s rivalry, neither of them know why they’re rivals but they are

I haven’t laughed this hard in absolute ages holy

Meltdown

“I can’t believe we have beef with the goddamn Pack”

“Are we supposed to be doing something?” THATS MY S-TIER

Tubbo threatening to tweet Ran’s address, beeduo crumbs /s /s /s

Red and pink’s beef is the funniest thing ever oh my god

Hole in the Wall

They’re so all over the place they mean everything to me

My streamer’s favorite color is 3, so true

“Skeppy’s having problems” “aren’t we all?”

The reactions to Shane saying his nose is bleeding lmao “What we’re you inhaling?” “Air”

“GUYS ITS BLUE- oh wait, it’s red” Shane 😭😭😭

“We’re all just gamers” “We’re all gay” so true

SHELBY POPPING OFFFFFFFF

Everyone hyping her up <333

Ranboo insisting they’re not bothered by different pronunciations whilst sounding progressively more bothered

Parkour Warrior

Ranboo?? Screaming????? Noooo…. /s

Vod muted Sadge

They’re popping off!!!!!!

Ran screaming at purpled to get a job and then instantly apologizing 😂😂😂

That drop lmao, it happens to Ran’s team every time

Ranboo got prescribed adhd meds today FINALLY /lh (I’m a psychology student and have adhd lol)

Skybattle

They’re surviving!!!!

Ran 2nd!!!!!!

Them avenging Michael’s honor my beloved

Shelby and Shane hiding in a hole lol

SHANE WILDIN

SHANE’S LEVI PLAY WHAT THE?!????!?!!

I could go off about how the amount of alcohol on MCC day correlates to how chill contemporary events are, everyone’s just here for a good time and it’s so much better this way

TGTTOSAWAF

WHY ARE WE PLAYING TGTTOS?????? I thought the final two were sands and grid :( /nm

Nothing like spontaneous karaoke over discord <333

“I AM FULLY STRAIGHT, I AM SO GODDAMN STRAIGHT, I AM NOT TILTED”

Ran was tabbed out but I’m imagining Michael and Scar holding the door open for each other lol

I have a headache lol

Grid Runners

I’m actually entirely okay with this tbh

Shane cheating pogchamp

Ran and Shelby “no u”-ing in the stone pyramid lol

That search the house was CLEAN

THEYRE SO GOOD AT THIS HOLY SHIT!!!!!!

Michael is so tipsy lmao

Ranboo in third, who woulda thunk

Dodgebolt

This was an amazing time, this team was wild

Oli v Ollie!!!!!!

“Everyone’s scared of Jojo and they should be” SO TRUE SHELBY SHUBBLE

“I actually have seen Sapnap miss these” lmao Shane

Them chanting Gem’s name <333

Aw rip, gg

Great times, great vibes <3

[princesable]

wwait please do tell ur issues with omori if u feel like it. as a somewhat omori enjoyer (<omocat sucks) i wanna see others' opinions as well

ok on my puter here u go. im not gonna write out like. an essay im just gonna list things out in bullet points because thats easier for me so sorry if this is hard to read/understand. quick side note i've played this game around 3 times because i love showing it to people so they can get mad about it with me. i feel like this is important because ive like. actually played the game and not pulling all of this out of a cut down letsplay (also just so no one gets mad at me i pirated it) but also my memory is awful. i am planning to play it again and actively take notes so i can write something more coherent. also putting it under a read more because i didnt realize how much i had to say about this

the story sucks tbh. like its an interesting concept that could have been done in an extremely impactful way but i felt nothing. like i didnt care about mari and i didnt care about sunny because he had like. no personality outside of "silent main character everyone likes". like if you dont care about mari the whole story falls apart. it relies very heavily on you caring about the two of them which is FINE but they do a really bad job of making me actually give a shit.

hero got like fucking nothing in the story and that bothers me like. outside of sunny we should have seen how mari's death impacted him the most because. you know. THEY WERE DATING? but we never get to spend time with hero. like all he is is "the nice one" i wish we got to see. anything with him but i swear they just weren't allowed to have him express emotions that werent extremely mild or something. actually now that i think about it it feels like hero was an after thought in like. everything. his dream word ability is barely used and when it is it feels like anyone could have done it. have it literally just be that he can flip switches is stupid. you could remove hero from the game and it would impact nothing.

AUBREYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY the church confrontation scene was like. GENUINELY GOOD? and then after that they just forget to do anything with her. like it pisses me off how that scene was actually good and the only part that genuinely got me to feel anything and then she just gets nothing. like her "bully" scenes are pretty good and i genuinely sympathized with her but it kind of felt like. you werent supposed to? idk if that makes sense because you totally WERE supposed to feel bad for aubrey but having the kel high fives directly after multiple scene where you make her cry felt so. fucking weird. maybe that was the point idk. aubrey's my favorite character i wish omocat knew how to write

SPEAKING OF KEL. I REALLY REALLY DONT LIKE HOW THE GAME TREATS HIM. he's supposed to be the comic relief but like. EVERY joke is either "kel is gross/stupid" or "aubrey is mean to him for no fucking reason" and it gets old really fast because he's just a kid??? like him and aubrey are just mean to each other thats their whole thing which is FINE i GUESS but its not funny?? its just incredibly mean spirited and not fair to him as a character. why couldnt he have just been silly without the game seemingly hating him for trying to have fun. like most of his moveset is based around being annoying its. its weird man idk. also the fact this is a fucking item in the game

when i got this for the first time i put my head in my fucking hands man this sucks.

Basil. basil could have been an EXTREMELY interesting character but hes just so. whiny. it gets old really fast. the final fight with him was pretty good i guess. i dont have much to say about him sadly because i just like. dont remember. nothing with him stuck with me. OH WAIT the black space bit where you repeatedly kill him in extremely gruesome ways was. kind of fucking weird. because hes 10. it was unnecessary like if you REALLY wanted the fact that sunny is trying so hard to repress anything that reminds him of what he did to be represented through basil dying you could have just done it a couple times idk. weird scene.

ok moving on from characters the art is. a lot. its very hard to tell the dream world party members apart because omocat just has really bad same fact syndrome, it doesnt help that they all have the same color palettes. speaking of color palettes why do the overworld sprites white wash kel and hero. its less noticeable with hero but like. come on man its not hard to color pick your own art

still on the art the fact everything moves is fun in concept but REALLY distracting in execution. theres been multiple fights (specifically sweetheart, the king crawler and humphrey) where i've gotten awful headaches and had to take a break because i felt sick from all the movement lol. also the animation for releasing energy does NOT help who thought making the screen shake that much was a good idea dear god. like seriously this game needs to have some kind of warning

using sweetheart as an excuse to talk about how the dream world its such a fucking slog. i UNDERSTAND the point is that sunny is doing everything in his power to not reach the truth so he creates roadblocks but oh my goddddddd its so annoying to constantly have the plot take a backseat so we can go to a wedding or go to a casino or GO IN THAT STUPID FUCKING WHALE. the fact that there is a fucking mod that removes the humphrey segment should say enough. like that part in particular was soooooo fucking bad. its so boring. the humphrey fight has THREE FUCKING PHASES. I DONT KNOW WHO THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA BUT THEY SHOULD BE KILLED. ITS AN AWFUL EXPERIENCE

the emotion system is an interesting idea but i wish they did more with it. once you figure out that everyone has one theyre best with you stop playing with them. it stopped being fun to battle because its just make aubrey angry -> make sunny sad -> make kel happy -> have hero do fucking nothing -> hit them. idk maybe they could have had like. special emotions for boss fights?? im not sure how that'd work but i wish they added little twists every now and then to keep all the battles from feeling the same.

the real world isnt much better honestly. all the aubrey shit made me angry and the battles are so weirdly unfair its just not fun. like it doesnt penalize you for losing real world battles but its like. idk they suck. also the fact it doesnt tell you food doesnt heal you in the real world fucked me up when i first played because i was so used to the dream world i spent all my money on soda and then spent the entirety of the real world on like 1 hp i cant add spoilers on tumblr so animal harm/death and suicide warning for this next part. if you dont want to read that theres nothing else after it so youre good to just stop reading now

i dont like the black space. like i briefly went over it in the basil segment but it left such a bad taste in my mouth. especially the part where you are seemingly "forced" to cut your fucking cat open as it begs you to free it and the only way to not hurt it is to kill yourself?? ok.

speaking of which the fact the only way to leave the dream world and wake up is to kill yourself complete with a little sound effect is weird to me. idk man omori is 10 im not exactly keen on watching a child kill himself several times.

honestly the games handling of suicide is gross to me. obviously i dont think you should never talk about suicide i think its a very important topic but they way its handled in omori is almost. glorified? idk if that the right word. omori/sunny can kill himself so many times in this game and i just found that a little weird. also basil can kill himself and you can see his body just. sitting there. ok im running out of writing steam if i think of anything else i'll make another post or you have any follow up questions let me know im gonna go watch scott the woz

[creacherkeeper]

50, 51, 56 & 57 for Scruggs and a lost npc of your choice (& 69 for bo if that’s not too many qs)

im gonna do scruggs and brandi!!!! <3333 onions favorite guys

50. can they sing? can they dance?

scruggs: he absolutely fucking cannot dance but he likes doing that like. slow sway, occasionally spin partner, kind of dancing. i think his sisters used to make him do that a lot. and i think he has a good singing voice but for like. deep rousing tavern songs kind of singing

brandi: she cannot sing or dance if her life depended on it and that doesnt stop her from trying

51. what is the most beautiful thing in the world, for them?

scruggs: just like. a really nice homemade meal shared with family

brandi: she would probably say something like a really finely crafted weapon or something but i think the real answer is a sunrise after youve been up all night and your brain is a little foggy but you just feel so at peace and chill. is like his real answer

56. what animal do they most relate to?

scruggs: i think a grizzly bear. big, intimidating, aggressive if you mess with them, but also really caring and protective and if youre on their good side quite cuddly and soft

brandi: i mean. she literally is a rabbit. so that

57. what makes them angry?

scruggs: its a little hard for scruggs as waylon's bodyguard because he has to keep up the appearance that he's angry when people are acting like dicks around waylon (which is often because waylon is an utter bitch of an old man) but generally he finds it pretty amusing. but like. when people make any sort of remarks about his family he can get set off pretty easily. he is ,, a Tad overprotective over lizzie and kelsey much to their chagrin

brandi: brandi has so so much anger that is so so incredibly repressed that she just doesn't realize she's feeling it ever

69. how would they describe their party members?

ough

nox: bo has literally so so much affection for nox so when they didnt talk for a while he was genuinely so emo about it. nox is his little guy!!! he's just so used to people being mad at him for things that when they had the crush convo bo was like. i couldnt have changed the outcome of this but now nox is gonna hate me <33 so was trying to give nox space and when nox didnt initiate bo was like. okay i was right. but now that they've finally talked i think bo is still a little Skittish but like. just loves nox so dearly. and is so keen on protecting him and supporting them any way he can. i think of all the party members bo is the most Sweet On nox. just very Affectionate

kai: kai is his brother!!!!! like for so long family Only meant his mom to bo. which is part of why he was like. so unable to see how bad she was and leave. she was All He Had. and so after finding bubba and rosie and like. finally letting himself grow closer to kai in that way. he realized that his family could look a lot different than he ever thought it could. kai is his brother which means he's the perfect person to piss bo off but also he would so die for them in a fucking heartbeat. he can finally like. kind of get back some of his teenage years with them and like. just have some fun? Boy Time. he's trying not to mother hen kai so bad but. it's something he's still learning

nettle: speaking of mother henning. bo wants to soooooo bad. nettle is so wet cat core and its so obvious she's been having a Rough Go that he genuinely wants to do everything he can to support her but is struggling because she clearly Doesnt Want That. so he's kind of at a loss for what to do and just tries to make himself Present. or does things like makes a ton of different kinds of cookies to sus out what her favorite ones are. he's simply like. i will adopt her i just need to not have her run into the woods first. and i think he's started opening up to her like. To Show Her It's Okay. not realizing that it's actually really helping him bc he's a little stupid

theo: okay not a party member TECHNICALLY BUT. bo wants to take care of her so so bad. you know when a realtor takes you through a house and is like its a fixer upper its got good bones!!! bo is like. im simply going to Fix Her. he thinks she has so much potential to feel better she just needs to accept help. he really is so sad puppy dog about her and like. he just so desperately wants her to acknowledge that she's cared for and doesn't understand why that's so hard because he's a gigantic hypocrite who can't acknowledge that he himself is cared for

[acid--inside]

I AM GOING SO VERY WILD AND FERAL. Thank you for the good food

If its alright I would like to hear more about. Any vre takes yuo got (on literally anyone you want). Giggle

ok so fun thing abt me is i cant do fatal or else i have an episode (hallucinate people coming into my house to kill me) so. soft stuff only. :3c

i... thiunk the c/ o/g/s should be stupidly hugelarge in general so they all theoretically CAN. its more of if they WOULD. (all could be pred to a to/on, but if they're small enough could be prey to another c/ o/g)

uh. undercut bc long.!!! (re/gi/on/al ma/na/ge/rs)

i think 🧠 would try to. idk if he's any good at that stuff bc he's one of the smaller ones. and also has no canon mouth. for funny purposes i think it would end with him just getting really pissed off and then going "I CAN BUT NOW IM NOT GONNA!"

🔔can. and he will. he's my snake friend (i see him like a big boa constrictor) and i do have like. genuine lore about the snake instinctss. he was raised like a snake el/sa. so he like. would/could never until he gives in and/or is convinced to give it a shot.

📺no. he dgaf actually. no thank you. he could but he doesnt feel like it/doesnt see any appeal. thanks for considering him tho.

🛻(yes this is the stupid speedy boy's emoji) also can. he does i think. but only ever to 🔥. (and 🔥is just prey not a pred, at least not to him. look i see 🛻 as an actual truck in my mind)

🦆he'd try to do it as a joke but he can't so he just kinda. slobbers on you. also would get distracted and end up kissing you a lot.

🌲yah. he can + will. tee bee aych i think non-romantic safe/soft w/ him and ⛓️could be sweet. protect your brother :) (NOT ROMANTIC!!!! THEYRE BASICALLY HUGGING)

🌑sorry hes too little. also probably would not. i dont see him being too big of a fan of either orientation either. (a mix of no interest + would be like. prey exclusively and doesnt want that)

🛰️i. thiunk they could go either way. i habe my own bag of worms abt these freaks. all would have their own preferences tho. i think its funny if N didnt gaf. keep that shit away from me and let me cook.

⛈️ya. mean lawyer who keeps trying to eat the competition/anyone who wins against her. she'd be more mean abt it but also has to spit them out. tiny enough to be prey to other employees tho.

📜(its that stupid old man there wanst an emoji for him) eh. he's. he also dgaf. no interest. thinks its also stupid to do regardless.

⚔️UH HUH. another big mean lady who eats people she doesnt like. would absolutely throw a fit if anyone else ate her though. (literally only 🔔 is big enough to reliably eat other coworkers. and she hates him. idk why.

☎️sure. i think she's done it before. no longer has interest. that was something she looks back on like it was an embarrassing teenage phase (it totally was)

🔥also yes, he has fun w/ it. pred to most to/ons and cool abt it. prey to his BF. also cool abt it. also i think he'd be stupid chill about it, just kinda. on his phone in there.

🦉SO EEPY. probably would do either orientation (pred/prey) but sleeps the whole fucking time. if you like hyper prey do not engage they will lie to you. you like preds who tease? good fucking luck he immediately takes a nap

🎹ABSOLUTELY A PRED. more than happy to chow down on any randos who ask politely. but only if you ask politely. kinda the epitome of "yum im so full of quarters yum" so he like. isnt some people's first choice bc of that.

⛓️yuh. i will break the mold and say. while i think he COULD be a pred, he prefers to be prey. its like a full body hug, and a warm weighted blanket. he finds it soothing to have the warmth + pressure and also have no responsibility until he's back in his office. so. he would like to take a nap in there. would pair best w/ 🦉for that reason but he's too big/distrusting of himself around others bc of the ov/er/ri/de.

[academicweaponintraining]

ermm what the flip dude!! um yea so im starting this blog bc 2 of my friends have blogs but im too lazy to do coding stuff so im just gonna have a tumblr :3 anyway today was actually fun because m wasnt here today so i didnt have to sit with her! lunch was actually pretty fun today bc d sat with me since her table was full, and then k and z sat with us too bc mrs w is SO strict during lunch for literally no reason.. d and me talked for the whole time but k and z mainly just talked with themselves, but they talked to me a couple of times. i literally DONT know what to do bc i can not sit with m for the rest of the year. its so boring everyday. and literally no one gets that i cant just leave her, because she would be sitting all alone! like i cant just leave her to sit alone. p doesnt get it, every time i say something about not being able to leave her shes like "just leave anyway, its not your responsibility to sit with her" and i guess thats true but I WOULD STILL FEEL BAD!!11!!!!1!

tw sewer slide

ok im literally SO scared bc i just read a's blog and (1) she relapsed again and (2) shes seriously thinking of k ing herself. i LITERALLY DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. because even if i wanted to tell someone who would i tell? the school counselor would probably just call her parents and im not doing that to a, her parents are like bad... but if i dont tell someone its basically my fault if she goes through with doing it. Ughhh i wish there was some way to make her life better because i just care abt her alot. genuinely dont know how i would be able to live without her, shes like the only good thing abt school. i dont know what to do because i care about her so much and i realy really dont want her to go but at the same time i just want her to be free of everything shes going through. but that makes it sound liike i dont care if she does it?? and i do!!! UGHHH I HATE THIS dude. i wish i could make eveyrhting better but i cant.

end of tw i just dont want to think abt this

bruh i wish one of my friends would update their blogs bc i think a is mad at me bc i didnt talk to her for some of the time we were at a basketball game. dude i dont know why but im so paranoid all the time that my friends are talking abt me. like im scared of a and s's messages because what if theytalk about me. ughhhhhhhh. lemme talk about something bc i dont get why its annoying me. so bascially this girl in my grade, she has like so many guys who like her and shes already gone out with a guy in our grade. and theres another guy who likes her and she likes him back and i dont know why but it makes me pissed. idk why cuz i dont have a crush on either of them.. idk i dont want to be mean but its so annoying how many people like her. like i know if i was pretty like her people would like me more. that reminds me earlier i was talking to d about how i better glow up this summer ( i HAVE to you dont get it) and she said that she would bully me into it if i wanted her to. she was joking but likeee maybe ill take her up on that offer. not literally bc i dont want my head shoved dwn the toilet ro something but i wanna ask her what i can do to be prettier. d is a very no bs girl so i feel like shell tell me the truth and she wont be like "nooo ur so pretty stop". i feel like some girls would def do that. honestly though my main problems i dont think can actually be solved, but here are my issues:

fat face

bad jawline

thin lips

gappy teeth

glasses

assymetrriacal eyes

yea i can only really change the bad jawline one...

anyway this blog was prob speled really badly and i should go to sclepp. bye blog:3

[networksupported]

Yup, that is the sound of his anger rapidly deflating as Cas sniffles and shivers under the blanket. Bradley's expression starts to reflect the guilt he feels for simply jumping to conclusions and drenching him in cold water.

He had just been so hurt, thinking Cas couldn't care less about him to come find him, let alone offer an explanation.

Bradley moves closer, picking up the towel and twisting it in his hands anxiously.

"Alright, I promise. I won't laugh or make fun of you or tell anyone. I want to know what happened to you, Cas. I was out of my mind with worry. I thought you were asleep at first but as the months passed I started to wonder if you were even alive anymore or if something happened and you had died all alone without anyone knowing where to find you- no one told me anything. Not when you left and not when you came back. Please just tell me."

cas bites down on his bottom lip, his own eyes downcast in the contemplation of it all.

he was, quite honestly, beginning to feel bad for putting all of this guilt onto bradley. it was actually a bit of a foreign situation-- not because he was unused to feeling bad, which he was, but because he was now having to grapple with the fact that it was really more of a pavlovian reaction- he was certainly not meaning to invoke as much guilt as was truly being expressed here, he was simply used to having to do so.

bradley genuinely felt bad for him for factors beyond his control, and that was just...weird.

did he really look that shitty?

> i did.

cas mumbles after a long while, the words seeming to take a lot to announce.

> i died, i mean. i wasn't nearly alone enough at the time, and i-- don't know if anyone knew where to find me, or even where it was i wound up.

> i mean, it was hell. obviously. literally. i hadn't been expecting anything nicer. not even a second chance.

> but if you were given a map of the offices and you had to point to hell on it- well, it might be more of a matter of personal preference than fact.

> and it was-- well, it was horrible. sure you can guess that bit. i don't wanna go into the detailing of it, so you are just gonna have to guess, actually.

> but it was more than that. i mean, i piss certain people off with just my existence. and, uh, more by being myself. and even more for having to follow on in 432s footsteps. its a little like being born in a hole- a deep hole, one that's clearly taken a lot to dig- and just knowing there's something on the surface, there's something that hates you and something that wants you dead, and you just have to keep- you have to make the hole deeper. you have to get away from it.

> i'm a coward, and i'm used to running. i've built myself around it.

> but there- there i couldn't run, i couldn't escape, and it all- they all- caught up to me.

> even when i managed to claw myself out of there with some rather... unprecedented means, i knew they could follow. i knew they were. and if i went to you- or thursday, or anyone, then i didn't know what i'd bring with me.

> what could hurt you because i was dumb enough to let it.

> and i just- i couldn't let that happen to you again.

> i wish i could've told you. i wish someone else had, but-- i don't know, i managed to die in the stupidest place possible, to the stupidest person possible. i don't know if anyone knew the story enough to explain anything about it.

> anyone good, i mean.

[thearvariblues]

The Mysterious Case of Jaskier's Immortality

Word count: 3601

*

“So nice to see you again, Yennefer,” Jaskier says, putting on one of his many fake smiles.

“Jaskier,” she replies with a smile that almost looks genuine but Jaskier is pretty sure that it’s not. Which she confirms a few seconds later by saying: “Shouldn’t you be dead already?”

“I see you’re as kind as always, my dear. But don’t you worry, Geralt is doing a very good job when it comes to protecting me.”

“Hm,” Geralt sighs resignedly, clearly regretting his decision to spend the night in an inn instead of the middle of a forest.

To be fair, it was Jaskier who suggested it, claiming that he refused to be eaten by angry drowners, no matter how many times Geralt tried to explain to him that the probability of finding a drowner in the middle of a very dry forest is extremely low.

If Jaskier knew they were going to run into Yennefer in the inn, he would have risked the drowners.

“I don’t doubt that,” Yennefer smirks. “But seriously, how old are you, bard?”

“No idea. I stopped counting after fifty, I think.”

“You know, you don’t look fifty,” she says.

“Oh, well, my mother had an elf lover before I was born, so there’s a fifty-fifty chance that I’m not gonna age anytime soon. Sorry,” Jaskier smiles again, sweetly – and this time, it’s genuine.

“As if,” Geralt grunts.

“I’m sorry, dear?” Jaskier blinks.

“Come on, Jaskier, it doesn’t work like that. You’re a viscount, that means your father must have been a viscount, too.”

“You don’t know much about nobility, do you, Geralt?” Yennefer snorts.

“Hm,” Geralt grunts. “Still, he’s not a half-elf.”

“Let me guess, you’re a Witcher, therefore you could smell it if I was? I hate to break it to you, dear heart, but you’re going to have your nose checked.”

“You’re not a half-elf, Jaskier,” Geralt repeats. “You’re not immortal, you just… look young.”

“Yeah, right, you got me,” Jaskier shrugs. “I just look good because I moisturize. Happier now?”

“Much,” Geralt nods. “See? You can be honest if you want.”

“Yup,” Jaskier nods. “Honesty personified. Now please excuse me, I need to go and moisturize some more. Internally. With ale.”

*

“I’m actually a mermaid, you know?” Jaskier grins the next time he’s asked, this time by a very confused and very old Valdo Marx.

“A siren, Jaskier. Not a mermaid,” Geralt sighs, praying to Melitele to give him strength. “And you’d know that, of course, if you actually were a siren.”

“Just so you know, the term siren is actually quite offensive to my people.”

“You mean idiots?” Geralt chuckles. “You’re not a siren, Jask.”

“Can you prove that I’m not?”

“Well, last week you tripped and fell into this creek that was like… knee-deep, and you nearly drowned.”

“I was in shock!” Jaskier proclaims dramatically. “But I have a proof that I am, or at least could be a siren.”

“What proof?”

“Well, my lovely voice, of course!”

“Not as lovely as you think it is,” Valdo Marx snorts.

“Come on, Jaskier,” Geralt sighs, ignoring the old troubadour. “You have much better voice that any siren I’ve ever heard.”

“Geralt of Rivia!” Jaskier gasps, clutching his chest. “Was that a compliment?!”

“Fuck,” Geralt mutters. “I didn’t mean…”

“Really though, Jaskier,” Valdo says. “How?”

“That’s a secret I’ll take to the grave, I’m afraid,” Jaskier grins. “Once I manage to reach it.”

“Keep on with the bullshit, Jaskier,” Geralt growls, “and you can reach it tonight.”

“Fifty years traveling with him, and he still thinks he can scare me. Cute, isn’t he?” Jaskier laughs. “Oh, Geralt you could never.”

“Try me.”

*

“All right, I’ll tell you my secret,” Jaskier winks at Ciri, who lifts an eyebrow. “I’ve got this neat… magic ring.”

“Hmmm,” Ciri observes. “Looks like a normal signet ring to me.”

“Well… Yeah, well, it looks like it, all right, but actually–”

“Jaskier, I was born a princess. This is clearly a Pankratz family signet ring.”

“Damn,” Jaskier groans. “Like father like daughter, eh?”

“Sorry,” Ciri shrugs.

*

“I got myself cursed.”

Triss Merigold lifts an eyebrow.

“Somebody cursed you to live forever, is that so?” she asks and her voice is almost dripping with disbelief.

“More like cursed me,” Geralt murmurs.

“Oh, shut up, Witcher, you know you couldn’t live without me,” Jaskier smiles brightly, and Geralt has to bite his cheek to stop himself from smiling back.

“Hm,” he says instead.

“Eloquent as ever,” Jaskier nods.

“Would you like me to...” Triss clears her throat. “You know, try to lift the curse?”

“No!” Geralt yells before he can stop himself.

“See?” Jaskier beams. “You could never live without me!”

*

“A bruxa,” Jaskier repeats to a young man who claims to be his son, but looks older than his supposed father.

“You’re not a bruxa, Jaskier!” Geralt whines.

“Excuse me, and how would you know?”

“Because I’m a fucking Witcher?!”

“Well, you’re clearly a fucking horrible Witcher if you haven’t noticed until now!”

“I think I’d notice if you tried to sneak out of the camp at nights to feed,” Geralt comments, crossing his hands. “You can’t even sneak out to take a piss, Jask.”

“Maybe I do that on purpose!”

“Besides, bruxae are mostly women.”

“Mostly being the important word here.”

“Fuck’s sake, Jaskier. You won’t even eat a piece of meat if it’s not so well-done that it’s almost cremated.”

“Do you know how disgusting the blood is, Geralt?!” Jaskier groans, and then immediately blinks when he realizes what he just said. “I meant…”

“Case closed,” Geralt nods, satisfied.

“Oh, dear,” Jaskier mutters. “I fucking hate you sometimes.”

“Uhm, my lords, if I may,” the young man says.

“Hate to break it to you, kid, but if you’re aging like a normal human, you’re probably not my son,” Jaskier shrugs. “Sorry. I get it why your mum might be confused, though. It was quite a night, with at least four–”

“And that’s enough,” Geralt says, grabbing Jaskier by the collar and pulling him away from the man. “You know, lifting the curse seems like a good idea now.”

“There isn’t really a curse, Geralt,” Jaskier laughs.

Geralt sighs, his lips curling into a tiny smile that Jaskier cannot see.

“Thank fuck.”

*

“You see, we were in a crazy mage’s tower and I saw this bottle and I thought it was slivovitz, so I drank it, but it seems that it actually was some sort of an immortality potion,” Jaskier explains to a lady at the ball, whose grandmother he’d apparently fucked once, when said grandmother was still a young, unmarried woman.

Geralt only blinks, because it’s the first truly plausible explanation for Jaskier’s mysterious immortality.

“Oh, that must be so horrible to watch everyone you love die!” the woman nods enthusiastically. “Perhaps you’d like to tell me about it in private?”

“Of course, my dear…” Jaskier smiles. “Just… wait a second. How old is your mother?”

“Forty-seven, why?”

Jaskier’s lips are moving silently for a few seconds while he counts, and then thy turn into a wide grin.

“No reason, dear,” he says, offering her his arms. “Shall we?”

When Jaskier and the lady flee the ball, Geralt pulls out his flask of White Gull and pours its contents into his empty tankard.

So, a potion…

*

“There is no such thing as an immortality potion, Geralt,” Yennefer shakes her head.

“How can you be so sure?” Geralt asks. “Maybe this mage really did find a way to at least make the human life longer!”

“And why would he do that?” Yennefer scoffs. She has been doing that a lot since she finally ended their relationship for good about twenty years ago. (He later found out that she had left him for none other than Triss Merigold, but Yennefer still doesn’t know that he knows, and he’s having way too much fun with it to break the fact to her. So right now, he is pretending he doesn’t notice that Triss is eavesdropping on their conversation behind the door leading to Yennefer’s bedroom, and that he absolutely believed Yen when she claimed that the loud thud a few minutes ago was caused by a cat.) “We are immortal, Geralt, unless killed. There is no reason for any of us to make a potion that would make a human live forever.”

“Well, perhaps this mage fell in love with a human and wanted them to stay with him!”

Yennefer pauses, inspecting Geralt from head to toe and back again, and then she sighs.

“Oh, Geralt. Really?”

“Really what?” Geralt blinks, genuinely confused.

“Oh,” Yennefer murmurs. “Oh, no. Really?”

“Really what, Yen?”

“You mean you don’t… Oh, dear gods. Really?”

“Yen, I swear that I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Geralt grunts, frowning.

Yennefer rolls her eyes and tries counting to ten to calm herself down. She doesn’t even get to three before Geralt’s eyes go wide.

“Oh,” he whispers. “Fuck.”

“Fuck, indeed, Geralt,” she nods solemnly. “Fuck, indeed.”

*

“I found a djinn, he granted me a wish,” Jaskier says when Geralt asks him, about five minutes after his meeting with Yennefer. (He agreed to use a portal to get to the bard as soon as possible. A fucking portal!) The bard is sitting in a tavern and eating his dinner, utterly undisturbed by the sudden appearance of an angrier-than-usual Witcher.

“You never mentioned a djinn,” Geralt growls. “And after your last encounter with one, I sincerely doubt you’d engage with another.”

“You clearly don’t know me at all–”

“Besides, Valdo Marx, as far as I know, had an apoplexy while fucking a young student on his desk, and I don’t think you’d ever let him die like that if you had a choice.”

“You see, that was kind of a my mistake, since I didn’t specify the time and the circumstances of his apoplexy in my wish, so…”

“What was your third wish?”

“Pardon me?”

“Your immortality, Valdo Marx dropping dead, that’s two. What was the third one? And don’t even try to mention the Countess de Stael, since you’d have to dig her up first.”

“That was disgusting, even for you, you know that, Geralt?”

“How are you immortal, Jaskier?!”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Try me.”

Jaskier puts a piece of bread in his mouth and grins.

“Maybe some other time, Witcher.”

*

“I am a fae,” Jaskier replies a day later.

“You’re not a fucking fae, bard.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because you fucking lie, Jaskier. All the time.”

“Fuck. Didn’t think of that.”

*

“You see, there was this artifact–”

Geralt closes his eyes, turning Roach around.

“Let’s consult Yennefer about this.”

“Oh, mother of…” Jaskier whines. “All right, no artifact, there was no artifact! Geralt, I’m telling you, there was no…”

*

“You’re not a succubus.”

“But it would be a perfect explanation, wouldn’t it?”

“You’re not succubus, because if you were, you’d know that a male one is called an incubus.”

“Oh, you and your stupid Witcher terms again.”

“You’re not an incubus, Jaskier, because if you were, I could never let you near Eskel.”

“All right… Explain, please?”

Geralt grunts.

“I’d really rather not.”

*

“A dragon,” Jaskier grins victoriously.

“No,” Geralt says, shaking his head.

“No,” Jaskier agrees with a sigh.

“You know you could just tell me the truth and be done with it, right?”

“Hm… No.”

*

“All right, enough is enough,” Jaskier growls that night in their rented room, tossing his doublet aside. “You’ve asked me three times today, Geralt. Why the sudden interest in my immortality?”

“As you said, enough is enough. You’ve been traveling with me for what, a hundred years?”

“A hundred and four.”

“Yes, and you still look the same as the day I met you in Posada!” Geralt growls. “And it drives me mad!”

“It wasn’t driving you insane for at least fifty years, so why the sudden change of heart?”

“Fuck off, bard. You don’t have to tell me. I don’t care.”

“But you do, Geralt,” Jaskier says, taking a step towards the Witcher. “Why?”

He’s standing in Geralt’s personal space, his chemise half undone, and he’s watching Geralt with those sincere blue eyes, and Geralt can’t fucking think…

“Because I love you, you idiot!” he snaps. “Because I fucking love you and I need to know if I can love you, or you’re gonna just drop dead one day without a warning!”

“Oh,” Jaskier whispers, his lips forming into a huge, happy smile. “Oh, fucking finally.”

“Fucking… what?” Geralt blinks, his arms suddenly full of an enthusiastic bard.

“I love you too, you silly Witcher,” Jaskier laughs. “I’ve loved you for a hundred years! Well, a hundred and four, but who’s counting?”

“You…” Geralt mutters.

“Silly, silly Witcher,” Jaskier repeats, pressing his lips against Geralt’s in a kiss that could be described as chaste, or at least the chastest Jaskier has ever been capable of. “We’re going to Lettenhove in the morning.”

“We are?”

“Oh, yes,” Jaskier whispers. “See, I’ve told you the truth about the source of my immortality once. But I think you need to see it to believe me.”

“Wait, you have? When?” Geralt asks. “Was it the artifact? Just tell me, I promise I won’t make you consult it with–”

“Shut up now,” Jaskier says, kissing Geralt again with way less chastity than before. “And in the meantime, believe me this – you can keep loving me, and I’m not planning on dropping dead anytime soon. Also, I’ve spent the last hundred years imagining fucking you senseless, so if you’re not opposed to the idea, perhaps we could, well…”

The kiss that this idea gets him is as far from chaste as one could possibly get.

And Jaskier definitely isn’t about to complain.

*

“You sure this is a good idea?” Geralt asks as they march towards the Lettenhove castle’s gates. He tugs at his doublet’s collar, way too tight for his liking. He’d much rather walk in there wearing his usual attire, but Jaskier insisted that Geralt must look presentable if he wants to meet his family.

It turns out that it only takes a single I love you to turn the bard into a manipulative bastard. Who would have guessed?

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Jaskier replies, grinning cheerfully. “And stop frowning, you’re gonna scare the servants, love.”

“How long it’s been since your last visit here, Jaskier?” Geralt says, his frown deepening. “Who rules Lettenhove now, hm? Aren’t you only going to be a distant relative, a great-great-uncle risen from the grave?”

“I sure hope not,” Jaskier chuckles, stopping in front of the guards by the gate. “Good afternoon, gentlemen. Viscount Julian, here to see the Viscountess Madeleine.”

“How can you still be a viscount?” Geralt blinks when one of the guards promptly disappears inside.

“We kind of decided to, you know, share the title,” Jaskier shrugs. “Seemed fair. Besides, father, well, the former viscount, insisted that I inherit the title, but he never mentioned anything about Mads not inheriting it, so…”

“How could your father have known who the viscount is going to be in almost a hundred years?”

“He really didn’t,” Jaskier chuckles. “See, it will all start to make sense once you meet her.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m hoping for.”

*

The guard returns a few minutes later, telling them that the Viscountess will meet them in the garden.

Geralt, knowing a thing or two about nobility, think it’s a little weird, but isn’t about to protest. He only thinks he could have left the fancy clothes at the tavern.

“Oh, shut up, you,” Jaskier chuckles when Geralt voices this thought. “You look gorgeous.”

“I know. You’ve mentioned it a few times. But I didn’t have to look like that, because we’re going to meet the ruler of this land in a fucking garden, and–”

“Julian!”

A woman in a long white dress throws herself at Jaskier, who happily catches her. Geralt’s first instinct is to reach for his sword, only to realize that he (luckily) left it in the tavern – because Jaskier insisted, of course.

“Madeleine,” Jaskier chuckles. “You haven’t aged a day.”

“Oh, yes. Shocking, isn’t it?” she laughs, pulling away from him, and for the first time, Geralt truly looks at her.

The woman is shorter than Jaskier, slim, and her dress is much, much simpler than Geralt would have expected considering the fact that is supposed to be a viscountess. She has dark, long hair and her face is so beautiful that it almost – but only almost – takes the focus off her pointed ears.

“Lady Madeleine,” Jaskier grins, “may I introduce Geralt of Rivia, my Witcher. Geralt, this is Lady Madeleine, the current ruler of Lettenhove and my younger sister.”

“You’re…” Geralt blinks.

“A half-elf, yes,” she nods. “Julian! You haven’t told him?”

“Hardly my fault. I really tried,” Jaskier shrugs. “But he just wouldn’t believe me.”

“So you brought him here to prove it to him, rather than to visit your beloved sister? You are a horrible, horrible sibling, Julian!”

“Your… sister,” Geralt mutters, all his thoughts speeding through his head, colliding and falling down, one over another.

“Yes, we definitely share a mother,” Jaskier confirms. “Most likely a father, too, and trust me, it wasn’t the old viscount. Madeleine got the elvish looks, I only got the non-aging bit. Well, apparently.”

“But…” Geralt blinks. “Your father. The title.”

“Yen was right, dear heart, you really don’t know shit about nobility,” Jaskier snorts. “But I admit that even though our dear departed noble father knew that Mads wasn’t his daughter, obviously, it never occurred to him that I might not be his true son.”

“But you don’t age!”

“In his defense, that only became clear after his unfortunate passing.”

“And you aren’t going to start to age anytime soon,” Geralt mutters. “You really aren’t.”

“Told you so, didn’t I?” Jaskier winks, letting go of his sister and wrapping his arms around his lover instead.

“I… I…” Geralt stammers. “Fuck.”

“Maybe later, love,” Jaskier smiles. “Madeleine, my dear, wouldn’t you say that my return calls for a feast?”

“Absolutely. In fact, I have started the preparations the second my spies informed me that you have crossed the border.”

“Oh, so we have spies now?”

“It’s really only a net of nosy old ladies, but it works wonders,” Madeleine laughs. “I must admit, though, that I was only planning a feast to celebrate you coming home, but now I see we have a much better reason to party. Tell me, brother, did you finally get your stupid Witcher?”

Jaskier smiles brightly, turning his head to Geralt.

“Yes. I finally got my stupid Witcher.”

“Party,” the Witcher in question growls. “Is that why you made me dress like a pompous prick?”

“No, that was because while I find your usual self extremely attractive, you still look much better when your hair is properly combed and you’re not covered in monster blood.”

“Hm,” Geralt hums, but wraps his arm around the bard to hold him close.

“Oh, yes, about monsters,” Madeleine says with the most innocent expression Geralt has seen since Ciri broke Vesemir’s favorite vase at Kaer Morhen. “You see, we have a tiny problem with a cockatrice…”

“Right,” Geralt nods. “I’ll go grab my armor from the tavern.”

“That won’t be necessary. I have already arranged for your things to be brought to the castle. And your horse,” she adds before Geralt can even open his mouth. “You can leave for your quest as soon as the servants get here.”

“So much for you not being covered in monster blood,” Jaskier sighs.

“Hm,” Geralt grins. “Lady Madeleine, I suppose you happen to have a bathtub somewhere in the castle?”

“Of course. In fact, there is a private bathroom right next to Julian’s bedroom.”

“Geralt of Rivia,” Jaskier purrs. “You know me so well.”

“Yes, and I expect to get to know you even better. In another hundred years or so.”

Jaskier laughs, pulls Geralt closer to him and kisses him.

“Another thousand years, I’d say.”

*

“What… the… fuck?!” Geralt croaks, staring at the smouldering remains of the cockatrice that would have surely killed him if Jaskier… If Jaskier…

The bard looks at his hands, then at the cockatrice, and then back at his hands again.

“Geralt? I have a feeling that I’m not really… A half-elf.”

“No shit.”

“I think I might be… Uhm…”

“Oh, shit,” Geralt whispers.

“I suppose, uhm, you know…” Jaskier stammers, wiping his palms on his trousers like he could wipe away the feeling of literal flames shooting out of them mere moments ago.

“Yeah. We’re gonna have to consult this with Yen.”

“Splendid,” Jaskier sighs. “Can it at least wait after the feast?”

“After more than a hundred years of you not even knowing, I think one feast will be fine.”

“Thank the gods. Madeleine would kill me if I tried to leave now,” Jaskier chuckles. “Let’s go, then. We need to get the fried monster remains out of your hair.”

“You’re… I was fucking right! You’re not a half-elf!”

“Yeah, you’re a great Witcher,” Jaskier nods, grabbing Geralt’s arm and dragging him away from the monster. “Didn’t notice I was secretly a fucking mage, but otherwise a great Witcher.”

“Explains a lot, though.”

“Does it now?”

“Yeah. I always had a thing for mages, you know.”

“Oh, Geralt. You’re such a fucking idiot,” Jaskier chuckles.

“Made you laugh,” Geralt shrugs, smiling.

Jaskier shakes his head.

“I’m so, so gonna drown you in that bathtub.”

“My love,” Geralt grins, “you’re more than welcome to try.”

***

Tagging @lottelorelei - I’m sorry I always forget to reply to your lovely comments, but believe me, they always put a big smile on my face! :)

[here-there-everyfuckenwhere]

Ted Lasso for the fandom ask thingy

Ooh this is going to be fun! Okay so-

Favourite female character: This is honestly kinda tough tbh, but.. I think I’m gonna have to go with Keeley Jones. I think the first time I watched the show, she was my favourite character because I kinda relate to her. Like she starts off in season 1 being kinda superficial, trying to still act like her 18 year old self (which we learn in s01ep04 when she says that she’s been dating footballers since she was 18), and she’s used to people judging her and assuming she’s just a dumb WAG, but she really comes into her own and learns that she’s strong and capable and worthy of being in a real, mature relationship. And I just loved watching her character development in season 2.

Favourite male character: I mean.. is this even a question? Trent Crimm? Independent? The love of my life?

Favourite season: I really do go back and fourth over season 1 and 2, but ultimately I think I enjoyed season 2 more. I do believe that season 1 had better writing overall, but personally I think season 2 is more enjoyable. I know people complain about “filler” episodes, (like the Christmas episode or Beard After Hours) but even the “filler” episodes are still fun to rewatch

Favourite episode: Definitely s01ep03 “Trent Crimm, The Independent”. Other than the most obvious reason (I mean it’s The Trent Episode™) this episode is great. It’s sorta the first time we see Keeley and Rebecca’s friendship, and its also the first time we really get to see Keeley and Roy’s relationship.Not to mention the first time we see Roy being the cutest uncle ever. It’s one of those episodes that kinda sows the seeds for more important plot lines later on, like Nate becoming coach and that photo of Keeley and Ted leaking. And idk if this counts for anything but the soundtrack from the episode is also A++.

Favourite cast member: I mean they’re all wonderful but it’s pretty hard to go past JSuds

Favourite ship: I mean, I live in the Tent full-time as you all well know, and Ted/Trent are my absolute OTP. But I also ship Keeley/Roy because they are the best couple in the whole show imo, and (and idk if this is a popular opinion or not) I actually really like Sam/Becca as well..

A character I would die defending: SASSY! Ohmygod the amount of Sassy hate I see on Tumblr genuinely breaks my heart I love her so much

A character I just cant sympathise with: If I may quote Sassy, fuck off and die Rupert.

A character I grew to love: Definitely Jamie. I really couldn’t stand him in season 1, even after we see his father for the first time in season 1, I really didn’t care for him much. But I definitely think his redemption arc in season 2 is straight-up on of the best redemption arcs I’ve ever seen in a piece of media in my entire life. He completely won me over when he decided to take part in sam’s protest and started acting more like a team player

My anti-OTP: I might piss off a lot of people but I really don’t ship Ted and Beard. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore their relationship so much and I love all of their scenes together, but I just feel like their friendship is so lovely and they should just stay friends

Ask game!!

Also, to make this ask game more fun I'm gonna tag some people who I think should do this ask (for Ted Lasso obviously): @bipolarjamietartt @enumchase @smooth-crimminal @trent-crimm @leupagus @infiniteeight8 @rimedio8 @polikszena @imgoingtofreakoutnow

[kuroos-moon]

xiii. “Interhigh” • Part Three

Smau Masterlist

You missed Oikawa Toru so much and you regret not giving him the chance to talk to you. You knew you were being irrational but what were you supposed to think? How could he take you seriously and see other girls at the same time?

Pushing all doubts and thoughts aside, you descend the stairs, finally reaching the ground floor. You’ve decided that whatever you were to him, it wouldn’t matter, you just wanted to apologize and let him know how you feel.

Makki’s eyes widen at the sight of you as you get nearer, the boy knew something interesting was about to unfold. Iwaizumi can’t help but facepalm himself because he knew it wasn’t the right time, Toru’s possessive fuck buddy was there after all. He simply sighs as he sees his best friend take pictures with his fans while receiving their gifts.

“Trashykawa,” Mattsun calls and the oblivious boy looks up to see you, standing beside his friends. He was so puzzled he doesn’t have a clue on what to do, he wanted to run away, how was he supposed to deal with his feelings?

He just stands there though, debating whether to ignore you or head over. What the hell was he supposed to do? And were you always that pretty? For a second he got scared his heartbeat would be heard all over the lobby.

“Toru, can we talk?” And just like that, his heartbeat got even faster. Did you miss him as much as he missed you?

His fans mumble among each other as he approaches you quite slowly, he was afraid, what were you going to say? But despite that, he was just so happy to see you up close.

“Toru can we go somewhere else to talk?” You ask him again once he was merely small steps away from you as you look down on your feet, refusing to stare back at his eyes.

“Here’s fine,” he says, he didn’t mean for it to sound cold, he just couldn’t handle how overwhelming his emotions were right now and being alone with you might actually cause him to do or say something impulsively.

You flinch at what he says, but let the sting in your chest go with a heavy sigh.

“Toru, I’m sorry about that day,” you start, your voice was only loud enough for him to hear. He doesn’t say anything so you go on. “I do like you, I like you a lot,” you mumble, the fact that you were confessing with such a huge crowd surrounding you made you nervous.

Not having heard you well, though he knew what you said, he takes a step closer to you and swiftly bends down so that his face was right in front of yours. You were too stunned by his bold actions, your breath hitched, you ought to take a step backward but he grabs your wrist to keep you in place.

“You’re gonna have to speak louder for me to hear y/n,” he says, however composed he looked, he too was flustered at how close your faces were, loving how you reacted to his touch on your wrist and the breaths that you fanned against each other.

“Toru I don’t think I can speak to you this way,” you nervously say, tilting your head back down.

“That won’t do, you have to look at me,” he says. “You did hurt me after all,” he guilt-trips with a pout.

“I really like you Toru,” you blurt out in frustration. Surprised by your sudden outburst, he drops his hold on you and leans away.

“I like you a lot,” you say again, your cheeks flushed and your heart rapidly beating from your newfound courage to look him in the eyes. “I’m sorry I said all those things to you, I was scared,” and he was surprised to hear that. What were you so afraid of when he liked you so much more than you liked him?

“I don’t know what I am to you Toru, the last months might’ve been just some fun or whatever for you or maybe I did mean something to you too,” he understood now. He knew why you were so upset. He feels so guilty because he could’ve proven his sincerity instead of resorting to Jen for distraction.

“I just want you to know that I care about you, no matter how weird you are or how freaking annoying, I love every text message I get from you, even if it’s at 4 in the morning, asking me what I’d do if aliens invaded,” you chuckle. Never in his life has he received such an honest and nerve-wracking confession; he wanted you so badly, the more you talk the more he wanted to smash his lips against yours. How could you stand there all pretty, not knowing he was completely wrapped around your finger?

“Y/n,” he says, and you look up at him not knowing what to expect. Were you going to get rejected? The fear of rejection took over you so you cut him off.

“Look, Toru it’s ok—

“So talkative,” He rolls his eyes before he places a hand at the back of your head, pulling you close and kissing you for everyone to see. You couldn’t even process what was happening but find your hands against his broad shoulders anyway.

He was kissing you gently at first, savoring the warmth and softness of your lips against his. Heat tingles within you as he deepens the kiss, he had entered his tongue in your mouth and his arms found its way around your waist pulling you even closer. He made sure to express everything he felt for you, the pain of your words, the love he felt, and the anxiety of not knowing how to handle such strong feelings.

Giving you one last soft peck, he pulls away and rests his forehead on yours. “I’ll show you how much I care for you y/n,” he says, wiping the sides of your lips which were a little bit too wet because of him with his thumb. “Y/n-chaan I missed you so much,” he sighs as he slouches and burries his face on your shoulder, his arms still wrapped around your waist, the exhaustion from his game earlier taking a toll on him.

“Can you give me a hug?” His voice was muffled but you heard him anyway. Wrapping your arms around his muscled back, you genuinely felt so happy; being in Toru’s arms felt like the rightest place to be. “Is it only me Toru?” You ask, making him chuckle as he pulls away from you once more.

He slings an arm around your shoulder as he faces his fans and his friends who were bewildered at how Toru acted. Some of the girls recognized you from his tweet, glaring daggers at you. Makki was just so proud of you two he was recording the whole thing.

“I would like to say that I am now off the market,” he grins and Makki and Mattsun goofily clap their hands for the both of you.

“Is she your girlfriend Oikawa-senpai?” One of the fangirls ask. Curious to know what he’d say, you look up at him and you felt your knees weaken because he was already looking at you so softly with his beautiful chocolate eyes.

“Uh no, but if you’re not her then I won’t kiss you, get what I mean?” He lightly says with a chuckle and a polite smile. “She’ll be my girlfriend soon enough though, just you wait and see,” he grins at them before kissing your cheek, chuckling at how red you were.

All was well, there was no intervention from anyone, Iwa just looks at the two of you from outside with a pissed-off Jen he blocked from entering the building. The smiles on both your faces were enough reason for him to drag Jen out when she was about to interrupt you two.

“Iwaizumi what the fucking hell do you think you’re doing? Let me in I’ll make sure that ugly bitch knows her place,” she hisses with so much hate and Iwa simply gives her a glare which was enough for her to back down.

“That girl who’s much more beautiful than you is my friend and Crappykawa’s happiness alright? Don’t ruin it,” he casually says, not wanting to sound mean because after all, he was in no position to get involved. Lmao but he did sound mean, serves her right for calling you ugly

“Did that girl get fucked good by him last night? No I don’t think so,” she smugly says, looking at you with Toru, wanting nothing more than to ruin your life.

“That’s all you ever were Jen, a fuck buddy, you knew that from the start,” Iwa says before heading back inside, punching an overjoyed hyper Oikawa who was about to hug him. He smiles at you though and pats your head.

Jen merely grits her teeth at the sight of Oikawa acting so gentle and loving towards you, she felt sick seeing him kiss your forehead, hold your hand and do everything else he doesn’t do with her. There was no way in hell she’d allow you to be happy.

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[povcherry]

The Love Test | DNF

Dream and George take a test to see if they are in love with their best friend

The intense red text was prominent on his screen. Frustratingly, the one time Dream agrees to playing bedwars with George and Hypixel is down.

Dream lent back in his chair, hands behind his head staring up at the ceiling. His room was dark, the only light shone from his monitors. Patches wrapped around his legs. A deep sigh left George, as he lay his head on his desk in exasperation, an empty subway wrapper by his face, the time on his monitor read 2:17 am, yet he wasn't tired. After being on calls almost consecutively with Dream for essentially a year, he had managed to sync his sleep schedule up with him, already in Florida time prepared for when he goes to live with Dream and Sapnap.

George was disheartened. He was looking forward to playing with Dream. They were both normally either too tired or busy editing or working to go on minecraft for fun, and not just for a YouTube video. But now that they couldn't play bedwars, they were bored and unsure of what to do. They only called each other so that they could play minecraft, but that wasn't an option anymore.

"What do you want to do now then?" Dream asks, his voice far away from the mic, so much so that George nearly missed what he said. He hesitated, staring at Dreams discord profile picture light up.

"We could..." He stalled, drawing out his words. He wasn't the best at making decisions, he was much to indecisive. "Do you want to stream GeoGuessr?" He suggested, silently hoping Dream would say no. He didn't really want to do anything, only talk to Dream for hours on end.

"Not really. My brain is too slow for that level of concentration." That earned a giggle from George, putting a small smile on Dreams face. He loved that sound. "How about we go in my merch vc? Me and ni- Sapnap had fun last time just listening to music?"

George was hesitant. The last time he went in Dreams merch voice call was during the sleep over with Sapnap and Dream. That ended up in a disaster of butterflies and George having to turn his phone off for a couple of hours just to distract himself from the 'dreamnotfound' mayhem they had caused yet again on twitter. He felt giddy just thinking about it, Dream whispering into the mic, loudly cursing when George beat him at 8ball. It made him dizzy thinking about it... thinking about him.

George didn't hate it though- the attention from Dream and the fans. Despite all the jokes and innuendos that they both do to mess with their fans, George knew there was some truth to it all. A deeper meaning to being called an idiot. The endearing term that Dream loved to use oh so much. George felt fluttery, wanting to be called an idiot at this moment.

"George?" He had been silent for a while, reminiscing.

"What would we do on there?"

"Just talk. Or listen to music. Whatever you want to do, George".

Without thinking, George clicked onto the icon for Dreams server. "Do you need to add me to the call?" He asked, unsure about how the podcasts worked.

"Yeah, I need to quickly tell my mods to open it first."

Within minutes, they where in the call, hundreds of people pouring in immediately, spamming the chat with things like 'GEORGE?!' and blue and green hearts. George stifled a giggle, nerves taking over him. Despite doing streams for a living with tens of thousands of people watching him, there was something more intimate with calling Dream in a private server.

"Hello" Dream broke the silence, welcoming all the fans. He chuckled, looking at the chat, "Yes, George is here today. Hypixel was down and we had nothing to do"

"Hi" George was unsure what to say, scratching his neck in awkwardness. It wasn't this weird when he was streaming. At least then they had a plan and chat was relatively easy to read. He was doubtful that this call would end well, what with his ignorance to some innuendos and jokes involving DreamNotfound.

"We thought we would just pop on here. We're kind of bored." Dream stated, unable to see what people where spamming in the #podcast chat. "I can't see what you guys are saying, i'll probably just read my twitch chat."

Half an hour passed and George was getting hungry and bored, nothing eventful had really happened so far except for Dream explaining his setup and chat freaking out over his galaxy mouse pad.

"I want food but all that's in my fridge is butter... oh and the BTS sauces and... uhm expired milk" George complained, looking through his fridge while still on the call.

Dream chucked, "Why do you have expired milk in your fridge?"

"Not the point, I just want food"

"Well get some food then" Dream counteracted. George sighed and rolled his eyes, sitting back down in his chair. His stomach rumbled loudly, calling out to his hunger.

"I'm going to order McDonald's." And with that George muted his mic, found the McDonald's number and ordered his food, in the background, he could hear Dream.

"Should i do a quiz?... yeah? Link some in the podcast chat." There was a long silence. George, long ordered his food, stayed muted, listening to Dream talk to his chat. He found it so endearing the way Dream spoke to them, as though they where a family. His voice soft and gentle as he scrolled through the chat looking for a quiz.

"Ooh, this looks interesting... oh, 'Am I In Love With My Best Friend?'. Sounds... interesting" George stopped. Everything seemed to slow down. Eyes wide as he looked at the screen infront of him, Dreams discord icon lighting up as he chuckled nervously. He wasn't actually going to do it was he? The room was getting hot for George, he wasn't sure whether he wanted to delve into the idea of being in love with his best friend, let alone his best friend being in love with him.

He quickly unmuted, ready to call Dream out on what he was doing, but Dream beat him to it.

"George, i'm going to do the 'Am I In Love With My Best Friend?' quiz" He laughed, opening up the link and reading out the first question. "do you catch yourself looking at your best friend?"

George stalled. They had face timed multiple times in the past, Dream only letting George see his eyes upwards, but George always found it hard for him to look away. He got lost staring at his best friends eyes. George quickly messaged Dream asking for the link for the quiz, if Dream was going to do it, so would George.

"Dream, check dm's" He rushed.

"Huh, what, why?" Dream asked, busy trying to still his own heart beat. He had always known at the back of his mind that he had romantic feelings for George, whether that is because he was just touched starved and was desperate, or because he genuinely wanted more than just a friendship with George, suppressing his feelings as to not ruin anything between them.

"Just read it." George urged, getting apprehensive, unsure whether he should just delete the comment and over analyse everything Dream says.

But before he knew it, the link to the quiz had been sent to George, a small smiley face underneath it from Dream. George was about to reply with a '?' to the smile, but Dream spoke up again.

"I just put 'once in a while', i mean, it's not like im never looking at you but i don't do it like.. all the time." George clicked all the time. He couldn't get enough of Dreams warm amiable eyes. His eyes were a kind of green that speaks to the soul of nature, of fresh wands of grass and new buds, and his eyes were that bright colour, bold and beautiful.

"Right," he snickered, " next question, 'are they the first person you call when something happens?' uhm... yeah, i guess. But not always, i mean i would call my mom first." He laughed, ignoring the fact that George was silent. George always called Dream if something was wrong. He wasn't in contact with his parents, Sapnap wasn't the most mature when it came to serious things, yes he was a great friend and he would be there for George if he needed, but Dream came first. George put Dream before everyone, at time even before himself.

"George?" Dream disrupted his thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"You're being so quiet, everyone is asking if you're asleep" George looked at chat, Sure enough, between all the green and blue hearts, there where people spamming Georges name and sleep.

"Oh uhm no, it is 3 am though. Kind of tired." He said, anxiously looking at the next question, mouse already hovering over 'it's nice if i can'. George didn't wake up thinking about Dream, not always anyway. Just if they had fallen asleep on call together, or if they were recording a video that day.

"You should sleep." His voice had softened. He too was looking at the same question. Thinking about George staying up just for him made him feel giddy, but he also didn't want George to be sleep deprived.

George held back a smile. "I'm good, we're in sync bb" he snickered, knowing that would get a rise out of the chat. He could practically hear Dream roll his eyes in exasperation.

"Oh come on" He laughed, his voice low and raspy as he started to read out the next question. He couldn't get through it without laughing, however. "'Do you get jealous if he or she has a boyfriend or girlfriend?' Oh come on! I mean..." He started, George's scoff cut him off. "What?" Dream laughed.

"Nothing" George giggled

"To be fair.. no, but... i mean, wouldn't anyone?"

"Not really." George counteracted.

"Well, no. But! But! But! It would be one of those things where it's like, awe, now he's gonna be spending time, like, doing that, instead of like, with us. Like with like, me and sap. So, I'll put maybe a little. Right? Maybe a little.?" Dream stuttered, trying to defend his reasoning while George just giggled at his flusteredness.

George had already clicked 'ugh its the worst' already. He remembered when Dream had told him Sapnap was moving in with him. Now, George knew his best friends. He knew there was nothing going on between Dream and Sapnap, but something about them living together tickled George the wrong way. He was pissed off, to say the least. George wasn't normally jealous, but when it came to Dream, he became a different person. He almost didn't want to share Dream with anyone else... George wanted Dream all to himself.

"Dream, no one is arguing with you..." George whispered endearingly, a small smile painted across his lips.

The next few questions were uneventful. Dream still defended his answers despite no body calling him out on them. The chat was a blur of left ear jokes and and blue and greens. George answered 'yes' on the majority of the questions.

" Do you have dreams about them? Im- Okay! That's unfair, like, oh my god. Okay, I'll put sometimes." Dream rushed, desperately wanting to move onto the next question. He didn't want to tell chat, and especially George, about the dreams he has. No body knew about the desperation Dream has when he dreams about George. The want and longing to touch George in many ways than one. The heartache Dream feels when he wakes up because he knows the happiness his feels in his dreams could never be recreated.

"What?" George once again giggled. He was starting to have fun now. Seeing Dream embarrassed made George feel slightly better about his answers, but at this rate he was afraid the quiz would tell him he's so hopelessly in love with his best friend that there was no hope for him. "What do you dream about me?"

"You- you've had- you're- you're an idiot, you've had dreams! You've had one hundred pe- you've told me about dreams you've had!" He stammered, struggling to get his words out correctly without revealing too much. He was starting to get hot, the air conditioning in his room seemed to do nothing, the 'GNF' jumper he was wearing was suffocating him. He was suddenly finding it hard to breath under the weird pressure of these questions he had no obligation answering.

"What type of dreams, hmm?" George teased. He had his head resting in his hands leaning on the desk, taking in everything Dream was saying. George, of course had clicked 'all the time' about dreaming about Dream. Dream was on his mind 24/7.

"Oh don't even start with me, i know you've had dreams about me. You told me you've like.. texted me in your dreams or something. You.. you definitely have, anyway..." The two argued for the next few questions, and it was all smooth sailing for both Dream and George, until it came to the big one. The one that caused George to almost throw up the McDonald's that he had eaten a half hour ago.

Dream went silent. George could almost hear Dreams heart beating through the mic. He knew why, too. He saw the question. George had been dreading this. He chose to stay silent, not wanting to draw attention to himself.

"Do you ever think about what it would be like to kiss your best friend?" Dream was silent for almost thirty seconds. He felt sick. The amount of times he had wondered what Georges lips felt like. Whether or not they were made for him. Perfectly molded to fit Dreams own. He dreamt about them constantly. The soft touch of lips. He was beyond salvageable. "Uhm, n-no. Of course not."

"Why did you take so long to answer?" George was apprehensive. He wondered whether Dream thought about kissing him as much as he did. George so desperately wanted to, he wanted to feel them on his own lips, wanted to know what Dream tasted like, how he smelt. He was forlorn.

"I'm just going to put, well... i'm going to put.. well there's no good answers. I'm just going to put 'yes but it would be like kissing my mom'". He lied, his mouse had been hovering over 'at least a few times a day', unsure whether to click it or not, but he knew the truth. He wanted to kiss George more than he ever wanted to do anything ever.

The rest of the quiz, George kept silent. If he opened his mouth, he would confess his love on the spot. He had finished all the questions, revealing a 32%. He was totally in love with his best friend. Desperately, pathetically and hopelessly in love. He needed help.

"Okay, last question" Georges ears pricked up at this, he was happy it was almost over. He needed to talk to Dream in private, even if it killed him. "Do you see them in your future?... of course. A lot of my future is your future. I don't want a future without you in it..." Dream whispered, muting his physical mic so that no one could hear his breath leave his body. That was the most intimate he had probably ever been with George in front of fans. He hoped he hadn't just messed anything up.

George still stayed silent. Dreams answer made him almost cry with happiness. He couldn't imagine a future without Dream.

Dream un-muted his mic to finish up the quiz, "It says, you are in love with a few things about your best friend, so it's likely that you could fall entirely in love with them if you... if things keep up the way they are right now." George was unsure of what to say. Chat was once again asking if he was asleep. Both boys took no notice. Almost silently, so silently George almost missed it. But he held his breath, staring at the monitor with fear. All colour had drained from his face. He was about to pass out.

"If.. if you're worried they don't feel the same way... you're going to have to find out how to shut your feelings off, you don't want to ruin what you have."... no one talked for a couple seconds... both of them waiting for the other to say something, until George plucked up the courage.

"I don't want to ruin anything, Dream."

George loved Dream, and Dream was sure he loved George.

[cynthiaandsamus]

Custom Toonami Block Week 74 Rundown

Code Geass: So we’ve got another one of those “wacky bullshit student activities” episodes, though this one seems to ride the hardest on “shit is going down, the world is ending but haha Shirley romance drama” though admittedly it does have a nice character arc for Milly so that’s cool. Lelouch is worried that the Knights of the Round are here to investigate him until he realizes both of them only have one braincell between them so it’s fine. Cornelia’s also murdering her way through religious fanatics so that’s cool. And last but not least we have Shirley and Lelouch finally getting together right before Jeremiah Geass Cancels her amnesia so she knows Lelouch is Zero and killed her dad and presumably the other stuff that Charles put in the whole school’s brain somehow. I’m sure this will end well and their romance will survive in a way that isn’t insanely tragic.

Inuyasha: We’re still in fillertown and it’s another SangoxMiroku episode. Man we get a lot of these in filler huh? I kinda don’t remember which Sango/Miroku moments are canon at this point. I’d kinda laugh if it was just all filler and some manga-only fans were bewildered when they ended up together in the end. Anyway, Feudal Lord has a thing for Sango because he has great taste and Kagome ships Sango/Miroku so she doesn’t want her to go, Miroku’s like “Hey it’s her choice, she’s been through enough, she can choose her own life, I’m not gonna get involved” which is pretty mature but the girls still hate on him for it. Sango’s just like “Dude even if I wanted to stay I still have this Naraku-slaying quest to go on and I’m not about to sit around all day and be royalty while my friends go kick Naraku’s ass for me.” Which is how most love confessions in this series go. Also Sango suplexes a demon bear the size of a building with her bare hands and it’s pretty great. In the end the lord doesn’t give up going after Sango but they finish the bear stuff and are on their way. I like how they don’t go out of their way to demonize this guy in the end to prop Miroku up, he’s still a good guy, Sango’s just got shit to do and is more the type to like a warrior who’s got her back. There’s some really cute shipping shenanigans here and all in all it’s fun filler.

Yu Yu Hakusho: We’ve got a three for one deal here as Yusuke and Kuwabara assblast their way through the Dark Triad in one episode, continuing their power play of beating villains with little effort while the boss man bets that they’ll completely wreck his guards which is still a pretty interesting dynamic. We’ve got cringey 90s trans commentary, an invisible dude that gets blindsided easily and a hostage ogre that gets beaten by Botan taking off her coat. Honestly for these guys being supposedly minibosses they kind of went down easier than some of the grunts. But now Kuwabara’s in contact with Yukina because his bullshit power of love connection actually works for some reason and they’re in on the final fight with the Toguro brothers. With this many people betting the GDP of countries on the fight there’s no way this isn’t rigged. I really like how YYH basically makes shonen fights just part of stupid black market deals for a large part of it, just like in real life everything’s decided by some old rich guy.

Fate Zero: Kayneth’s still fucked up and has Rock Lee syndrome and can’t use jutsu anymore so his wife’s like “Yo buddy you can’t give Lancer the magic cummies anymore anyway, lemme take control of your hunky knight manslave or I swear to god I’ll rip your arm off and jerk him off with it” which since she asked so nicely he just kind of does. With Lancer still kinda being uppity about Kayneth having dibs on his soul and Sola-Ui being weirdly horny and increasingly yandere for him I’m sure this’ll end well. Saber and Kiritsugu are still pissy with each other because Saber wants to go after Caster to stop the child murders which is fair but she’s also injured and shit and she’s mad at Kiritsugu for not teaming up with Kayneth to just take down Caster right there and I mean I don’t think he really had time to suggest a truce while getting attacked with Terminator 2 goo, he’s not really the asshole here. Meanwhile and more importantly, ISKANDAR HAS PANTS! Nothing can stop him now and they crash Caster’s child murder party and are jumped by Assassin’s Forty Thieves (they aren’t named yet but I’mma just assume) and Iskander’s just like “Yeah no I’m not fighting five ninjas knee deep in child guts.” And they just burn the whole place down.

Konosuba: So in a bizarre Interspecies Reviewers/Food Wars crossover, Kazuma goes to a succubus house and instead of just getting sex they do dreams and shit which seems more complicated but I guess it’s less morally gray. Anyway, naked Darkness and contrived hentai plots ensue. They sprinkle in some good character stuff for Kazuma which is nice, it’s always kind of hard to pin down where his principles lie. Like he’s generally a scumbag and will take the easy way out of anything but he’s not evil and will give Darkness an out on their encounter if she wants and will get his ass kicked to protect his local sex worker. The Principled Scumbag approach is kind of neat for him, I wish a few more of these moments didn’t feel the need to immediately undercut themselves with a joke but that’s the nature of the series. I feel like one or two more genuinely sincere moments throughout a couple episodes would do wonders but either way it’s still amusing.

Sailor Moon Crystal: We pick up right where we left off with Tuxedo Mask throwing himself in front of the Kamehameha for Usagi and then she goes Super Saiyan and cries pokemon tears to bring him back to life. But the bad guys are somehow like ‘yoink’ and steal him from her lap through a barrier somehow (that still kinda pisses me off) and for some reason the crystal that booped its way into his chest isn’t there anymore and Usagi still has and and Usagi’s going through a lot of shit right now between processing the trauma of a millennia-old kingdom falling that’s partially her fault, working through her romantic feelings and having a Steven Universe identity crisis about how to process her identity as a reincarnation of someone a lot cooler than she is, so most of this episode is Usagi crying, as most episodes are, but at least she has a good reason.  Then we get a Girl Squad Roll Out montage because fuck it we’re going to the moon somehow.

Durarara!!:  Apparently everyone knows about where Celty’s head is but her because she visits Izaya’s office where the head is just kinda behind some books on his bookshelf and she doesn’t know but Shinra’s dad has enough time to mug Namie after telling Shinra and Celty off for their weird interspecies relationship and tell Izaya to have fun fucking around with the head. Also people have shifted from being worried about the Dollars to being worried about Saika and ALSO being worried about the Dollars maybe being at war with the Yellow Scarves. Celty’s looking into it and Shinra shows some character development in just coming out with it that Saika was the sword that severed her connection with her head… I don’t know how you cut the soul of a head that’s already cut off but okay, at least Shinra’s not hiding shit from here anymore. Also Saika’s about to seriously chop up Anri and Masaomi comes to visit his girl in the hospital finally.

[tobi-momo]

Contradicting Colors

Pairing: Model!Kirishima x Photographer!Reader

Genre: Romance, Fluff, a lil pining

Word Count: 3.1k (sry not sry :p)

Synopsis: When given a new project due within a week from your boss, frustration is all you can see before a certain someone becomes your inspiration.

Warnings: alcohol consumption (barely anything), cursing

a/n: omg its finally here!! valentines day!! im so excited to be a part of Project Runway, featuring many other amazing writers! pls pls pls enjoy this i had so much fun writing it and even though i changed the plot halfway through i made it work- kind of. this is only proofread once, so if you see any mistakes i am so sorry kaskjdsf- happy valentine's day everyone and i hope you guys have an amazing day with your friends/ loved ones <3333

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

“Yes. Yes, sir. I understand.” The volume of your voice graduating slowly as you move to balance your phone between your shoulder and your cheek, your hands moving to grab your camera, the strap in the way of you comfortably holding your phone. “Next week? How many?” You hold in a sigh as you furrow your eyebrows in frustration, not wanting your irritated expression to show through the phone. “Yes, I can do that. Thank you. Bye.” Ending the call with a low beep, you whine in frustration while you turn around, taking in your surroundings.

What were you gonna do? You had a week to send your boss a couple hundred pictures of bright, unique pictures. In the middle of winter he decides to assign you this project. ‘To show off the start of spring!’ he says. You loved your job, but couldn’t you at least have an easier task in the winter than this?

Maybe you could find inspiration somewhere in the park. Something bright and unique, huh? Shouldn’t be too hard. The fog wasn’t really helping though, masking the natural essence of the park, although you could still see happy couples walking around, hand in hand while they talk about God knows what. Young women walking their little dogs down the walkway, while others are out for their morning run. This wasn’t helping. Central Park would be an amazing place to find inspiration, you thought. No. It wasn’t. Especially with the dreary weather, you weren’t hopeful.

Boring. That’s what this was. Boring. The boring weather, the boring mood, the boring assignment, the boring-

Bright red, spiky hair pops into your vision, sticking out like a sore thumb in this weather. What is that? 

The red head turns towards you, although facing his phone, scrolling through whatever occupied his screen. He didn’t seem to notice you staring at him in awe, or the fact that he just became your new inspiration. His bright scarlet hair contradicting the slow, sad, tired weather, brightening the whole scene. He looks like he would have a beautiful smile, and his build looks like he would give the best hugs.

You are thinking way too hard about this. But… you do need some pictures for inspiration, so why not ask him? He radiates sunshine through the fog, even if he was doing something so mundane as looking on his phone. Just ask him, that’s it. Just. Ask him. 

Taking a step forward, you grab the strap of your camera, sliding your phone in your jacket pocket before taking the last sip of your coffee, throwing it in the metal trash bin a few feet away from you. 

“Um, sir?” You ask politely, your hand raised in a half wave, hoping he understands that you are the one calling him. “Hi, I’m Y/n L/n, and I was wondering if you’d let me take your picture for an article i’m doing,” you continue, trying your best to sweet talk and not lose him. He smiles politely, but it doesn’t look genuine. It looks like he’s done this before, many times, now that you think about it. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes, bringing his hand to the back of his neck, awkwardly scratching. Shit. You lost him. “Although I’m glad you guys asked for permission this time I don’t want anymore pictures taken.”

Huh? What the hell was he talking about?

“What?” You question, utterly confused. His head reaches out around you, looking around in the bushes, round the trees, though his vision murky from the fog. 

“Sorry, but you guys have been following me everywhere. I’m just on my way to work, you guys don’t need a picture of me everywhere I go.”

Who was following him? What the hell is he talking about? 

“Who’s following you?” You turn your head around you, trying to find the imaginary people around you two. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“No need to act all clueless, I found out you were paparazzi, so just go home,” he says with an attitude that irks you.

Now you were mad. Obviously being patient with him wasn’t working. 

“Sir, I don’t know who you are, or why the paparazzi is following you, but I am not one of them.” His eyes widen in shock, looking between yours to see a fault, not succeeding. “Do you talk to every stranger like you’re some celebrity that can’t be bothered?” His head jolts back, as if he was offended. “If this is the way you act, honestly I’m surprised anyone likes you, let alone the paparazzi.” His mouth opens in protest, words failing to find their way out as you continue to spit words at him in anger. 

Something catches his attention, causing his head to snap up, his eyes squinting to try and see through the fog. He hears a couple clicks, then sighs, looking back at you.

“This project is due in a week and y-”

“Okay, I’m sorry, just, could you be quiet for a sec?”

“Quiet? With all due respect you can’t tell me wha-”

~Click, click, click~

His hands slam on your shoulder moving you forward and rotating your body; your back faced the walkway, you trying to turn your head from the giant tree in front of you. “He- hey! What are you doing?”

A bright flash blinds your vision, your arms immediately come to guard your face, your knees bending as if to try and duck from the light.

“What the hell?”

He gives you a sympathetic look, then grabs your arm, dragging you away from the lights. Or, he was attempting to.

“I told you, the paparazzi likes to follow me everywhere.” His rushed pace speeding up while he drags you with him, your hands flailing around, trying to find a grip. 

“Hey, let me go!” You shout, his head shaking before leaving the park, tugging you in an alley before stopping, his hands still firmly gripping your arms, keeping you in place. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Stop talking for one second!” He interrupts you, his expression seeming a little...pissed. “I told you, the paparazzi is following me around, what don’t you get?”

“Why?” His face turns into a sort of confusion, like he expected you to know who he is.

“Wh- i’m,” he exhales sharply, frustrated. His eyes drill into yours, again scanning to try and see how you’re not understanding. Were you really this dense? “I’m Kirishima Eijiro!”

“Who?” He backs up, his head tilting to the side. Huh. You really didn’t know. That’s the first. Seriously. 

Sighing, he lets out a little chuckle. You couldn’t help but giggle a little back at the situation, the whole ordeal not making you as mad anymore. A few snickers turning into having to clutch your stomach in hopes that it doesn’t cramp from you wheezing too hard. You could see Kirishima leaning on the wall to try and not collapse on the cement. Was it a sort of rush? Was it the complete obliviousness? Hell if you know, but God, did it feel good. 

You understood why he dismissed you, and why he said the things he did, knowing that the paparazzi came anyways just making you feel even more stupid for not catching on quicker. His smile definitely is breathtaking, but you still needed to find out if he gives the best hugs. Maybe one day, but not while you guys are struggling to stand up.

“I’m guessing running away to an empty alley wasn’t exactly ideal for taking pictures, huh?” He pokes, calming himself down, a lot more comfortable with the atmosphere.

“Yeah, you’re right, but i’ll just find some more inspiration later,” you respond, remembering his refusal.

“Oh, I mean, you could, or I could always help you after some coffee?” He proposes, like it was a risk. 

“Coffee, huh? Well, I already filled myself up on that today, but thank you,” you turn him down politely, “but maybe tomorrow? Would that be alright?”

He smiles, a soft, sweet smile that will definitely not leave your head for the next few days, nodding while standing straight up with his feet fully planted on the pavement. A cute, innocent blush creeps upon his face, his expression making you not want to leave. But alas, you were on your way to work. 

“Um, I should- I should go, I can’t be late, but I’m sure that I’ll be able to find you somewhere, being the Kirishima Eijiro,” you tease. He understands, and doesn’t want to keep you waiting, so he watches you leave, his eyes trailing along your legs as you turn the corner, disappearing from his view. 

Wow. You were mesmerizing. Why is it now he’s just experiencing something like that? He loved it and hated it at the same time. But now he has to deal with the publicity of what just happened. Shit. He needed to get that covered up. Before he could even dial his publicist, a notification pops up on his screen:

 “Y/N L/N has followed you”

A smile of relief and a sort of excitement crawls on his face as he taps on your account, scrolling through the pictures that you’ve taken with your camera. He didn’t think you were that good but, damn, was he wrong. You were good with your colors; he liked that. Maybe him being your model could be better than he thought.

~.~.~.~

“Kirishima, no, you can’t just- don’t move!”

“What, I’m just making it better!”

“You mean you’re making it worse!” You laugh, turning your camera and pressing the shutter button as Kirishima jokes and teases, messing around like an absolute child. Which you can’t help but adore. The past few days you guys had spent together was absolute heaven, almost like you never had any problems. The stressful assignment now turned into a fun project as you two walk around the city, talking about yourselves, getting to know each other before parting to see each other on a new dawn. Him being your model was perfect, although knowing he didn’t have much time until his shows, you tried to pry yourself into his schedule. He didn’t mind it either. 

“Okay, okay, what abooouutt, this!” He exclaims as he holds his arms up, flexing his muscles with a cheery grin decorating his face. 

“Mm, absolutely beautiful. You look so manly,” you joke sarcastically.

“That’s good! That’s what I’m goin’ for,” he replies. You giggle at his statement, not understanding why everything he says is funny, and why you laugh every time. 

“Annndddd, last one!” You shout before the shutter clicks and the light flashes at Kirishima, who is unbelievably keeping his pose perfectly. “Okay, I think these are enough for now. Thank you again, Kirishima, I would completely lose hope if you didn’t offer.”

“Hey, It’s no problem, plus, technically you asked me first- I didn’t offer.”

“I guess you’re right, but still.”

“Right, right. I get it. But this is fun so I’d rather be doing nothing else.” Oh, how you loved those words. You wanted to hear them more often. You just wanted to hear his voice more.

“Well that’s good. I-” you interrupt yourself before grabbing your phone from your vibrating phone from your pocket, a text from your boss telling you to come in late. “Oh, I guess I gotta go,” you both frown, “but I’ll see you tomorrow!” 

“Wait! I uh, I wanted to ask you something.” You stop before him, his eyes suddenly not wanting to find yours. “I have a plus one to my shows, if you want to come,” his eyes widen and he quickly back pedals his words, “you don’t have to! I was just curious!”

“Sure!” You beam, absolutely delighted with the thought of going to one of his shows. You’ve seen his pictures. He was incredibly good at what he does, and you wanted to see all the seriousness of it up front.

“Really?” He hesitates, as if he didn’t hear you correctly the first time.

“Of course! I’d love to! I shouldn’t take pictures though, should I? Maybe a video? I’ve seen videos of people but I don’t think-”

“Yeah, you can take pictures, as many as you want. Plus, being at my show would help with your boss, right?”

“Mhm!”

“Great! Then it’s a date!”

His face immediately freezes, the blood disappearing from his face then suddenly reappearing like a firework, turning his face a heated red that only made you blush further. 

A- a date? 

“Uh, yeah,” you try to play it off, trying not to explode with seven different emotions at once, “it’s a date,” you emphasize the word ‘date’, it getting caught in your mouth and hard to come out once you grasp what you’re saying. Man, you two looked like middle schoolers.

~.~.~.~

Arriving at his show, you did not expect this many people. Well, you expected it, but didn’t want it to be true. It was like you were being trampled on trying to get into your seat. The paparazzi wouldn’t stop bombarding you and Kirishima, wondering if you were his ‘new lucky girl’. You politely waved at them, although the urge to flip them off once they got too close was starting to overflow your system. Kirishima was there to pull you aside though, telling you not to worry about them, leading you inside. He left you by your seat to go get ready; it was obvious he was nervous, but your attempt at cheering him up seemed to work. 

The announcements run quickly before the stage lights flash on, the music starts, and the colored LED lights fill the runway.

~.~.~.~

You were in shock. Absolute shock. You could barely process what was going on during the afterparty, one that Kirishima took you to after the show. You couldn’t stop thinking about it. He winked at you. On. Stage. In front of everyone! You were pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to do that, but he did. And the result? You being unresponsive even two hours after the event. 

“Y/n, it was just a wink! No need to get so nervous!” Kirishima yells over the music, trying to shake you out of it, trying to get you to loosen up, maybe even have a drink if you wanted, just, not stare into space with your mouth open. “Here, I am going to make you a drink, my signature, and I want to know if you like it, okay?”

You nod, your eyes coming off the crowd to his beautiful red eyes. “I don’t want to drink much tonight, tho. I have to be functional for my project tomorrow, remember?”

“Mhm, that’s why I’m only giving you a sip. I’m not gonna drink either, these parties always have some weird stuff in everything, so don’t take anything from anyone except me, okay?”

“Sure. But, do we really have to stay here? I mean, watching other people get stupid drunk is fun but the music is loud and we can barely hear each other,” you shout, him agreeing with you. 

“Alright, just stay here I’ll be right back, we’ll leave soon, okay?”

He comes back in a quick minute, a small crystal glass with a pink liquid inside, sparkling as the bubbles of carbonation rise to the top. 

“What’s it called?”

He shrugs, perking his lip out. “I haven’t thought of a name yet, never really intended to. Just try it.” Rolling your eyes, you bring the glass up to your lips, then turning the glass upwards, emptying the alcohol into your throat, although there isn’t much of a burning sensation like you thought there would be, more of a gross wine taste. This was champagne. He laughs at you when you completely deadpan him, trying not to smile. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t have a signature drink. I just wanted you to try the champagne.”

“Why didn’t you offer the champagne then?” You accidentally let a laugh out, still trying to be serious.

“I just thought it would be funny.”

“Well, funny you are, mister manly man,” you tease. You always thought it was cute and funny when he got super giddy when you called him manly, it’s something he likes to be told, obviously. “Let’s go somewhere else, now, shall we?” You perk up, his arm out for you to grab and hold onto as he leads you outside to his ride. He opens the door for you, then closes it once you’re in, hopping in the other side. 

“So, where do ya wanna go?”

“I don’t know, actually, I guess I didn’t think of that,” you chuckle.

“Well, I know a place if you’re up for it. It’s not that far and I’m sure you’ll like it.”

“Sure, let’s go then.”

~.~.~.~

Flowers. Everywhere. Covering the field and illuminating in the moonlight. Pink round petals sticking from the center of the top of the light green stems, yellow and purple daisies rest in the meadow, their colors contradicting each other perfectly as the stars make everything glow. The clear skies make the rest of the clear visible to you, hills full of tulips and carnations. Dragonflies and butterflies roam the air, making it their home. This was magic. You couldn’t believe your eyes. How did he find this place?

“Kiris-” you stutter, turning towards him, an excited and happy look on your face, “this- this is beautiful. How did you find this? Oh my god.” You couldn’t help but chortle at the sight. It was too beautiful. He takes a step closer to you, his gaze at the grass below him.

“I thought it was perfect for your project, you know? The start of spring? These flowers and the butterflies and th-”

He couldn’t speak. His voice was muffled by your soft lips on his, your hands moving to cup his face while you screw your eyes shut. He’s surprised, to say the least, not expecting this. You tasted like champagne, but he didn’t hate it at all. He liked it, more than he thought he would. He places his hand on your waist, pulling you closer, wanting more of you. You don’t even realize how much time passes as you two stay in each other’s grip before you disconnect. The feeling in your body was euphoric, you never wanted it to go away. His hands graze up your waist and up to your face, cupping it gently before he leans in to press little kisses on your cheeks before straying away from your touch.

“Let’s take those pictures, now, shall we?”

~.~.~.~

taglist: @combat-wombatus​ @toosharkinternet​ @hitosushi​ @alpha3113​ @katsuhera​ @zerohawks​ 

[tigerdrop]

Cringe is dead, talk to me about the funny half-life men and their relationship

okay here is my essay. it is titled These Guys Actually Like Each Other, and Gordon Freeman Is Just Kind Of A Dick*

(disclaimer: these are just my 2 cents. dont take me too seriously! im just some guy online who has watched this shit too many times.)

first things first. these guys actually like each other. this is a key aspect of their relationship. benrey, obviously and textually, digs gordon freeman - you dont flirt that heavily with guys you arent into, and so much of what he says and does is geared around making gordon crack up. thats pretty gay.

but the counterpart to this is that gordon freemans pretty fucking gay for benrey, too. you may say, “oh, but word of god says its not requited!” and to you i will say: bull shit. gordon is uniquely obsessed with benrey compared to all the other characters. if gordon didnt like the fucking guy, he wouldnt giggle with him and share in-jokes with him and bring him up every 5 seconds when benreys not around. thats concern, bro. thats worry. thats real shit

but i cant blame people for thinking that gordon freeman genuinely doesnt like benrey. benreys partially responsible for some of the worst things that have happened to him, the Arm Thing among them. and gordons very insistent afterward that he doesnt like benrey. he even goes so far as to try to kill benrey a couple times. to this, i must argue that gordon freeman is just kind of a dick.

lets talk facts here. canon. Lore. from the moment we hop into gordons shoes, we can see that he is a jerk to every npc on his way into black mesa. this is his default: a dude who just runs his mouth and says rude shit. he calls tommy a freak within 5 minutes of meeting him. he infantilizes the guy and barely considers him a real scientist. he doubts that bubby is a real name for like no fuckin reason. in “real life”, this is because its funny, and wayne is trying to make a funny half-life stream. in a textual sense, this is because gordon “hlvrai” freeman is a dick. this is the way he acts, consistently, throughout the series.

(brief aside: this is why the whole “gordon is a nice guy and a great dad” characterization baffles me. the way he actually acts in canon is, in short, bitchy and lacking in self-awareness. and i love that for him, i really do. it makes the moments where he just tries to be a nice guy stand out. but thats the thing: his intermittent moments of decency and kindness are not the whole of his personality! this dude kind of sucks most of the time!)

the way that gordons general asshole attitude extends to benrey is complicated. in fairness, benrey makes it his job to annoy the shit out of gordon as much as possible, and that warrants a negative attitude, but gordons pretty paranoid and ends up blaming benrey for nearly everything that happens to him, regardless of if its warranted. this is a pattern he exhibits both before and after the Arm Thing. its a little bit of a dick move! especially considering that, prior to the whole “betrayal” subplot (which was not exactly planned very far in advance), benrey is no more malicious or annoying than anybody else gordons having to travel with.

(okay, this is kind of a subjective evaluation, but still. my point stands that benrey is not any more of a hindrance to his progress than anybody else in the science crew, and neither is he particularly more violent or murderous. hell, gordon freeman has probably killed more guys than benrey. benrey just tends to get.......special treatment.)

all that said, i am still convinced that gordon really fucking likes benrey. please consider with me the following: it would be remarkably easy for gordon to just ignore him and do what he has to do, but he doesnt. he could stop engaging. he could stop thinking about benrey. he could stop bringing benrey up to the rest of the crew every time benrey leaves to do his own thing for awhile. but he doesnt. and, again, yeah, the extra-textual reason for this is “two guys are doing an improv comedy thing and bouncing off of scorpy is kind of the point”, but within the text it reads to me as gordon not being about to get the dude off his mind.

and this is in addition to all the times we see gordon being genuinely nice and receptive toward benrey! its in the little things: laughing the hardest and longest at benreys jokes. only ever reciprocating that stupid underwater “BBBBB” thing with benrey. trying to catch benrey when he falls, despite his insistence moments earlier that benrey should hop in the wack ass crystal generator and get hypermurdered. fondly remarking that benreys sweet voice sounds beautiful. his sort of flustered responses to most of benreys overt flirting. none of this is the way normal people react to a guy they hate. this is all fuckin gay to me, man.

its this combination of the outward insistence that gordon hates benrey with his inner eagerness to be around him and think about him and engage with him that gives off strong “repression” vibes, to me. for whatever reason - pride, embarrassment, resentment - gordon maintains a front of hating the guy and wanting to kill him for a lot of the series, but it doesnt gel with the way he fucking giggles and plays along half the time that benrey starts fucking with him. its a game, and that game is one of the only ways gordon knows to manifest affection for him.

(remember “oh my god, hes got a knife!”? that was the gayest shit i ever seen in my life. tittering like a schoolgirl while benrey chases him around like “im gonna get you haha”. insanity.)

the cool thing about repression is that you can have it manifest in a lot of ways! and this is where things like “headcanons” and “my own personal affection for repressed bisexual men” come in. a lot of how i characterize their relationship is an extrapolation of a lot of things like gordons canonical insecurity issues/anxiety, gordons whole anti-bootboy thing screaming “internet wokeboy who means well but probably has a lot of repressed baggage” to me, etc.

how do you get massive amounts of sexual repression out of what you see in canon, you might ask? well. if wayne would stop having gordon talking about being jerked off by the suit, or talking about chugging a 40-gal drum of potion and having to hold his piss, or worrying about being eaten by benrey the moment he sees benrey at setscale 10, maybe i would have a higher opinion of gordon “hlvrai” freeman and whatever latent psychosexual issues hes got going on. but here we are

i havent even touched yet upon how benrey feels about gordon. this one is helpfully made a little more plain by the fact that benrey very much wants to suck his dick in canon. (i dont even have to go into details. we all know.) but IMO the best part about this ship isnt just that they dig each other, but how. benrey gets overtly flirtatious in the second half of the series, but IMO his preferred method of flirting is just fucking with gordon: chasing him with knives, shoving him around in a bathroom, trying to get scans of his feet. but all in like a slapstick, giggly, fun-and-games sense, you know? at least when it works.

a lot of the time, though, it doesnt work out that way. he clearly just likes doing it whether or not gordon responds positively. which is, you know, Weird. not very nice. but also in line with the way everybody else treats gordon freeman. gordons kind of the universes chew toy in any given universe, and the same holds true here. hes kind of helpless......subjected to 4 demons attempting to make his life as difficult as possible. in a way its cathartic.

sorry. i got sidetracked. anyway, benrey very much likes to mess with him and unnerve him and demean him and i will be perfectly frank with you: that is hot. i have problems and illnesses and one of them is that i am a masochist who goes crazy for that kind of thing. calling gordon a “dirty lil boy” and telling him to “look at the mess [he] made” is some straight up kink scene shit.

i like to imagine that a lot of this behavior isnt caused just by the guy who played him wanting to be funny and antagonistic, but by benrey as a character not really understanding what constitutes “pushing a joke too far”. hes not human, and whatever he is doesnt have a very normative way of understanding the world around him, full of people who actually get hurt for real and die for real. benrey expresses what seems to be genuine surprise and distress after the Arm Thing, as if he didnt know that his actions would have serious consequences. and it doesnt seem to fully sink in afterward, either.

it reads a lot to me like hes used to video game rules and treating people around him like NPCs. if they get hurt, its no big deal, because its not real. he likes jamming random buttons on gordons interface and seeing what comes out. its probably a lot of fun for him, the same way that seeing a streamer or a youtuber suffer for our amusement is fun. its like, you know, in my opinion, gordons very cute when hes frazzled. hes also cute when hes laughing. pushing gordons buttons has a 50/50 chance of either of these things. and this is how he ultimately flirts with gordon: by pulling his pigtails.

but at the same time, benrey does legit care about gordon and knows some boundaries. benreys the one most often shooting at enemies to protect gordon, and he spent most of the last act trying to convince gordon to turn around and not fight him because they were friends (best friends, to be specific). he just lacks a lot of the emotional intelligence it would take to express the feeling of “he digs gordon and likes seeing his face get all red and sweaty regardless of the cause”. and gordon lacks the emotional intelligence it would take to express the fact that he doesnt know if he likes or hates benrey and hes scared as hell that its the former

because, lets be real. unironic benrey-liking is a sign of problems disorder. just look at all these words ive written about it.

can you imagine? this bizarrely powerful, non-human entity that can shrug off gunfire and grow to the size of a building has decided that youre his new plaything. benreys the bored guy booting up skyrim and fucking around in the console, and gordons the hapless favorite follower that hes taken a liking to. its a really fun dynamic IMO

after all this, its safe to say my title is a little misleading. the asterisk stands for * and So Is Benrey, Actually. they are both kind of awful dudes who thrive off of teasing each other and they deserve each other. and i am crazy about it. thank u for coming to my TED talk