#its going to be three months soon
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I'm missing my dog extra hard today so I look at pictures of him looking clueless to cheer myself up
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If God so mercifully allows it, I will breathe in my grave with your name on my lips
#yato my eternity#sobsobsobsobsob#its going to be three months soon#anD GUESS WHO STILL HASNT GOTTEN OVER IT
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oooooooooough i love you i love you i love you!!!! hand in loving hand !!!!!!
#mine#cats#i was like losing it over th colouring yesterday like this SUCKS and then looked at it 2day n was like. anyway#ive been unstoppable since ive figured out how 2 do glowy things#me n my partner went ice skating this evening !! so so fun#i love how girls will just peacefully hang out in the centre ice doing spins n boys will fast and furious skate around at 100mph#like we dont need to be doing all that#as soon as i see a boy w hockey skates enter the ice i am now leaving the ice#anyway....i got a slightly dubious fantasy audiobook 2day we will....see...how it is#whenever i read a fantasy book written by a man my hackles are up i am scenting the air i am growling#have i finished assassins fate u ask.....no :3#its been sitting at 30% for like 4 months i cant bring myself 2 read more KJBDSSK#there is like so much book left. so much that can go wrong#i will finish it soon i prommy i prommy...n then listen 2 th tawny man audiobooks :3#ngl this fitz n fool trilogy isnt super doing it 4 me im not finding it as Invigorating for sm reason#still good !! but def my least fave of th three trilogies#anyway. i am going 2 bed
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😭😭
#BEHIND THE CODES SPRINGTRAP NOOO#Hi. im posting this here during a break from studying. i'll be back soon though#:]#i plan on making some springdad au animations in the future to better my skills#working on the au helped me get through some stuff irl and honestly im not ready to let go of it so soon#i'd say its different from the aftons suburb one. i had lost interest in it when it became some sort of shitpost#there is nothing wrong in having 'shitpost aus' but ig its not how i wish to view things#i do like ephemeral stuff#things that last for a while and that make you think 'woah. im glad i had the opportunity to see this' are always my favorite#aftons suburb was one of these cases#springdad au is going through the same path. but i trully believe theres more content to come from it#oh and about BTC?#i took a break from it. its been two or three months since that folder was last opened (and if i did open it. i didnt do anything)#its relatively hard to come up with good dialogs when theres also a need to comprehend how different characters express themselves#especially when said characters are older than you. or smarter than you in some way#some of them speak louder. while others will speak through their actions#thought i had to grow up a bit more to understand how these things work.#turns out. that mindset was blocking the whole creative process#anyway. its going to take a while#thank you for your patience
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#for me its like three big parks but ive been to them multiple times#soon to be four though bc im going to alton towers next month!!!! super excited#polls#wait im editing this bc i just remembered ive been to paultons park too#i still voted on the right bracket luckily but i can believe i forgot i went to the peppa pig world#bonus polls
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I DONT KNOW HOW TO PUT IT INTO WORDS BUT IM REALLY HAPPY RIGHT NOW AND ITS NOT JUST A MANIC EPISODE I JUST HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS EVEN IF NO ONE WILL SEE
OUT OF A STUPID JOKE I NOW HAVE THE COOLEST FRIEND GROUP EVER?? FROM AMAZING PEOPLE??? THEY'RE SO GREAT I NEVER TALK THIS MUCH BUT IT'S BEEN LIKE 5 OR 6 HOURS
the last 2 or 3 hours were in a voice chat and i didnt open my mic because i was insecure about my voice and they all said it was fine and they were so sweet but also really unhinged and fun fbdjshdkfhajsj <33
they were all just like me and we're gonna talk a lot more im sure theyre just like found family! named and gendered correctly, had fun, made inside jokes like i cannot stop stimming around i love them so much and this is my first ever real online friend group and it feels so right
all of them are really friendly I took everyone's birthdays and saved them to the calendar we promised to celebrate them together :DD
i just feel so happy right now, i really feel like i belong i literally didn't want to leave but my social battery was dying and it's two am and they just told me to go to sleep and that they'd be here in the morning it was so cute we all promised to be active and stay as a small group
they all called me blake and wished me a good night and i shut the pc and i cant stop being so happy fjnfkcsjfkdfsfhd <3<3<3
#it was all super cute and amazing and fun i dont know how im supposed to go to sleep#knowing they're still there#but i know they'll also go to sleep soon we were 5 peeps in the vc#3 of them in the same country about midnight and theyll go to sleep soon too#its amazing i cant stop being so happy liKE I HAVE FRIENDS AND ITS ALL SO CUTE??#WE EVEN OPENED UP ABOUT SOME THINGS#I THREE PEOPLE ARE GOING CLEAN FROM SH#ONE STARTED TODAY#ONE TWO MONTHS IN#ONE TWO YEARS IN#WE TOOK THE DATES TO CELEBRATE THE MILESTONES TOO WJDHANBBSBD ITS SO CUTE <3<3<3#im dying this is the happiest ive been in probably years
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We rlly don’t need another majima game 😭 please give other characters a chance he already had the spotlight in 0😔
lord if i speak on goro majima.
#snap chats#my last nerve was seeing him front and center on that Three Legends shirt with daigo and saejima im SICK OF HIM#what do you MEAN the Sixth Chairman is backseating majima. like thats his retainer PUT DAIGO UP FRONT#it aint even bias its gen just like. why is the sixth chairman not treated the most important. thats The Chairman of the whole shit#EX chairman whatever we know what i mean#'snap its just a shirt' and these are just my balls alright its all the little things that are like Dawg Cmon#i woulda got the shirt cause it looks like somethign youd get from claires and thats hilarious However ... im annoying.#ill say this then play y0 and be like Ah..... i love you...#fr tho im sick of him GO AWAY YOU ARE NOT THAT GUY#im that meme of spiderman holding back the train and the trains saying mean things about majima#this ire is only brought by rggtwt mates insisting majima needs any more content. like at all.#they gave majima a y0 statue but as far as i can see kiryu doesnt have one like What.#ik i say id skip y0 kiryu if i could during replays and its never that serious but still .... the hell...#my brother in christ majima does not need any more why are you acting starved#i get it hes your fave but my god. goku this trains heavier than i thought i cant do it#ive had beef with rggtwt ever since they tried to say majima was more important to kiryu than haruka. like brb eating a cactus#rgg making gaiden was the worst thing they couldve done cause now everyone wont stop mentioning charas getting a gaiden game#MAJIMA OF ALL OF THEM DOES NOT NEED ONE MFER THATS WHAT Y0 WAS FOR. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT#THEY GAVE HIM AN EXTRA STORY IN YK2 ALSO LIKE RGG IS DOING THE MOST FOR A SIDE CHARACTER#anyway this is why im happy saejima and akiyama are getting figures. ESPECIALLY AKIYAMA#I FEEL LIKE WE NEVER SEE SHIT OF THAT GUY and saejima. tbh. but still ... akiyama esp just feels left out#big hope other charas start to get more love. like my daughter haruka ok rgg plesae drop one of her idol statues thank you#on a lighter note september is almost upon us which means two things#1.) i have to move back to school at the end of the month 2.) rgg news is soon .....#SOOO curious as to what's on the horizon .. maybe ill stream it for the first time in nine thousand years#ok bye im gonna eat cereal <- diced spam and rice
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slams a fist on the desk.
#shit oh my god i only have three scenes left to write.#nabi gyu ur gonna come out of the oven sOON.#AFTER HOW MANY MONTHS GOSH#its currently at 38k BAHAHAHAH#well....three more scenes unless i decide to add more HUSHJNDSKAK#i'm going out to work on research today but i hope we can finish eaRLY i'm vibrating to write more when i get home.#u don't know how cathartic it is to finally write these 2 specific scenes that have been haunting me for months and months.#going 2 cry.#i miss beomgyu.#i started crying yesterday when miracle started playing on shuffle u don't understand.
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ive been shmk-ing
#enstars#ensemble stars#god. i guess its been like three months now#roughest three months of my LIFE im just going to pretend its bc i got into enstars. they did this to me </3#ive been barely drawing even a tiny bit this past little bit but these two have taken over my brain to an embarrassing degree. i bought nui#s#anyway i want to post actual art of them soon so <3 lettuce pray#doodles
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less than a week until I move in with my squish and get to see them again aaaaaaaa
I have never felt such an intense mix of excitement and fear and longing,, send help
#like on the one hand#I get to see them again!!!!!! after three long long months I'll finally be able to feel their arms around me again#and breathe in their presence and see their beautiful smile right in front of me that isn't over 3 pixels of video call#and I'll see them EVERY DAY and we can talk or just sit together whenever we want!!!#and we can host parties!!! and build ikea furniture together!!! and laugh as we try to bake and probably miserably fail!!!!#but on the other hand#GODS am I terrified#what if I fuck it up???#what if I've romanticised this so much in my head and it'll really be nothing like that#what if they get tired of me and living together just makes us drift#what if it brings awkwardness into our friend group#what if my feelings get in the way#there's so much that can go wrong and so much at stake#and I can't bear the thought of losing them#I want this to work so so badly#I guess I'll find out soon#it's crazy though#three months seemed like such an unbearably long time#and now suddenly its almost over#I'm terrified of what comes next but I also want it so badly it hurts#well#come what may#I love them and I don't think that's going to change#here's to this new chapter#queerplatonic yearning hours#cosmo rambles#personal ramble#queerplatonic#aroace#aromantic
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art summary !! its been a year
also heres the template i made if you wanna use it v
^ edit it however you like i just kinda made it in 5 minutes
you dont need to credit me go wild
#!!!!!!! MADE IT#this year .this year#ok first of all this year has certainly been A Year ! but i think i made it through alright#whole Bunch of ups and downs and zigs and zags#but ! made it!! and so did you reading this!!!#i think that is very cool#i cant really remember much from this year to be completely honest#at least from the first half#but i had fun throughout it and thats all i need#art wise uhh also a bunch of zigs and zags but hey the sonic interest is not going away anytime soon skdhfjkh#most of my favorite things i drew this year were doodles and other things though#so it was hard picking 'finished' stuff#speaking of which september's isnt actually finished. thats why i never posted it#but it was the most finished from that month so ! oh well#chip showed up three (3) times this year .again#its fun to compare this year's with last year's ^^#but anyways !! i think thats all#hope everyones doing alright this fine new year's eve#thanks for helping me get through this year i literally. genuinely couldnt have done it without you#so thanks :)#happy new year !
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also my friend (from the village) (a different friend) and i have been texting a lot this year
#it all started when we were at the village and it was just the two of us (weirdly enough. its usually the three of us)#and we somehow got to the convo that it would be cool if she came to visit me. i think bc we were talking abt how we only see each other#in the village and not in our like. respective 'homes' (the village is also my home ofc but its different)#and somehow the plan for her to come visit me pulled through and she spent a weekend here#and now im due for a visit to her house soon hopefully. so we kinda check in w each other? idk its kinda weird#we used to not contact each other for an entire yr. then spend 1-3 months together (the 3 of us) during the summer#and rinse and repeat. idk kinda crazy if u ask me. idk if this is a teenager thing or what. now since im here (aka not in the US)#i do see the other friend more often since shes actually from the village. so like 2 times a yr when i go visit#oh and these two friends were together and broke up so there was a very weird vibe w each other for like 3 years#coincidentally the three or so years we didnt see each other (bc of the stupid pandemic). i cant believe i had to go 3 yrs without seeing t#them. but godddd its so crazy. im glad were texting more and stuff but. idk it still feels kinda weird. its the only friend i do it with#like. texting just bc. if i text other friends its usually to meet up in person or arranging something.#i dont even know where i was going w this actually#z xarre
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who wants to take me backpacking across europe as research for this au huh
#<- stupid american who has only ever roadtripped across a few states#i say backpacking across europe. they’d obviously go further than that.#people the doctor siblings befriended getting postcards from all over the world with little photos of them.#fifteen and ten standing on a beach in the one donna gets a little after one christmas that promises they’ll find their way back soon#and mentally she’s already translated soon to ‘three to eight months’ but its worth waiting for them. they bring the best souvenirs.#human or alien the nature of being friends with the doctor is them blowing in every few months to wow you and then disappearing again#human!sibling!doctors au
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it’s supposed to snow and be gross all day tomorrow but i wanna go to the gym and thrift and go for a walk😭 i have a little bit of school work to catch up on and i wanna revise my notes for a test that’s coming up at the end of the month. but i wanna go outside first omg
#text#my sister bought a folding treadmill and i wanna see if she’ll let me use it if it’s too gross to go out tomorrow#but fr i haven’t been OUT of my house (aside from work) in almost a month. and im feeling it#if i get certified after this class. i could work remotely. and i WANT to but i also can’t be here all day#i’d be making more so i could afford to rent somewhere. renting in south jersey is fucking insane rn and i wouldn’t be able to afford it..#i don’t wanna necessarily move FAR away from home but i can’t afford anything at all in nj. and i don’t rly wanna live in philly#so i’ve been looking around in pa + delaware but if im moving kinda far away why not just move a couple states away where its a little less#expensive 😭#and ik once i move out ill want to try taking dating a little more seriously#the most realistic future: i wfh and continue to pay off student loans before moving out. and i feel insane and i have no privacy#and my anxiety doesn’t get that much better bc my house is chaotic + i don’t LEAVE for work and i don’t go out#my parents aren’t like. expecting me to move out anytime soon but i can’t stand living with three dogs. it’s so overwhelming all the time#i should save my money and not move out. but omg
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quick someone give me 2k no time for questions
#ugh#i have like at least 1k of parts and work we have to do to the van#like parts for the passenger sliding door#just getting it cleaned is going to be like $500 i bet#unless i pay the neighbors kid to do it like he offered#maybe i'll ask him what he would charge me#sigh#then theres other little things that all add up#im just tired and i don't have any money#im going to be selling more of my personal collection here soon#and then hopefully i can just get my ass up and dump buckets#but its wet and im depressed and in pain and i still feel nausea constantly#i have some basic maintenance stuff i have to do as well#and then if i replace the filter with an actual quality filter itll be like 75 dollars#but that one i can clean repeatedly#instead of dumping 20 bucks on a cheaper filter every three months#i can buy the k&n filter and just clean it every 3 months instead#yeah you gotta buy the oil spray but thats not expensive and it lasts quite a while#so we'll see how i feel tomorrow#i have to go to AS to clean my wheells#and then i have to call the stupid ass insurance people and demand an update#i only work 2 or 3 days a week but i never feel like i have enough time for anything#dl
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Fuck you google and your ‘best low calorie recipes :)’ SHOW ME THE OTHER ONES I WANT HIGH CALORIE CONTENT THE WHOLE POINT IS THAT I DON’T WANT TO LOSE M O R E WEIGHT
#was hovering around 160-ish for a while then when i started adderall i plummeted to 150 in 2 weeks#that was first 2 weeks of may#then early september i was around 140-ish so another 10 or so pounds in three and a half months#which is MUCH better than with the adderall#but. still. :/#im not in an unhealthy weight range by any means#i just. dont like the fact that im continuing to lose weight unintentionally#and idk what i am now bc i dont own a scale (finally considering getting one tho)#i only know these weights from when i go home to see my parents and use theirs#its getting colder soon so im gonna try making hot chocolate more!!!#since i made some for my works bake sale and accidentally bought way too much stuff so i have the ingredients lol#and the milk’s gotta be used 😂#also bought some heavy cream to try adding some of that and that should cover me for the next 2 weeks or so i hope!!!#ensure that no more pounds go slipping off without my consent lol#if anything id love it if it gave me a few back#bc i dont intend to RELY on that lol#but since i have to use up the milk i bought and thats one of the faster ways i have to eat thru it might as well 😂#it would give me more buffer room while i try to figure out how to alter my diet#bc ive already lost 20 lbs and losing another 20 would uh. not be so good.#25 more would put be underweight according to BMI but we all know that’s BS#but still semi helpful as like a general estimate of ‘maybe u should gain some weight’ me thinks lol#so uh yeah if u could show me the HIGHER calorie recipes google thatd be LOVELY#like i started this shit slightly ‘overweight’ according to bmi#the last thing i want is to get my ass down to ‘underweight’#like as horrid as bmi is i still cant say that unintentionally losing enough weight to go from ‘overweight’ to ‘underweight’ is like#a good thing#like ive gone half the distance already which is. more than a little terrifying.#ive unintentionally gained weight before and so i can now say with 100% assurance#unintentionally LOSING weight is like 10x scarier#-3/10 absolutely would not recommend
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