#its funny in a way that a death didnt mess up my motivation but more recent events did :')

[dovedrangeas]

ive been working on a redraw for months. art is hard but i'm doing my best

(original under the cut)

[mayabishopapologist]

station 19 - season 4, etc

this is long but i want to put down my thoughts before thursday comes and i guess i have A Lot To Say.

honestly didn’t pay much attention to this show until halfway through season two—  always liked maya and was glad that they gave her more to do. going into season 3, i was excited for more character development &stronger storylines. however, by the end of  301 the dip in quality was glaringly obvious. a quick google search revealed that there was a new showrunner and, well, it showed. 

while the show had been going in a really good direction with balancing the screen time between andy and the other regulars, this season, the plot was all over the place. it was uber dramatic and just. so much happened just to happen? seemed like every other episode had a major event(deaths alone; ryan,rigo,pruitt?!!?). they were so frequent, it was hard to process. it was also hard to get invested as the characters themselves moved on(or were shown to have moved on, extremely quickly!) 

i enjoy the show for what it is and i have no delusions about broadcast tv shows (or shondaland productions, for that matter)but the suspension of disbelief.... i mean: a stabbing, a robbery, a shooting and a car crash? all in one episode? please! lmaooooo. drama for dramas sake is always boring and weakens the story.  

& as for the characters... .

everyone felt like a hollow version of themselves this season and it was hard to watch sometimes, actually. characters switched motivations /personalities for the sake of the current episode and i know this show is very ‘monster/emergency of the week’ but. some consistency! please! like—

maya: she’s always been determined and focused but they went so far with it this season, it was almost cartoonish. her competitiveness was hinted at in season 2 but she was always portrayed as self aware. ‘the beast,’ as she dubbed it to andy, was something she knew of and tried to contain, because she knew it could get out of hand. 

yet, in season 3 she suddenly forgets this and just. becomes the most power hungry/singularly focused person, ever. she goes after the captain position behind andy’s back, (citing andy’s emotional state, because of the death of her best friend as a reason she shouldn’t get the job?? huh. since when is maya this purely callous??!) she just doesn’t give af, suddenly, about andy at all, and goes for a job that she is hardly qualified for(she was lieutenant for like, a few months?)

and then after she gets the position, she just. loses all sense of reality? literally she was so unhinged(fun to watch but so much) and it was like. um?? maya has never been the uptight one (they've mentioned and depicted andy as being the one like this, multiple times!) and we know she knows how to have fun, so, for her to all of a sudden just. not know how to read the room? yeah okay. to make her so intense and severe, especially w the drills and training was, a choice. a bad one, on the writers part. like, i get that they needed her start as captain to be dramatic or whatever,  but there were ways to do that. and even the animosity with the team and her went so far, i just think that whole storyline was amazingly lazy, honestly.  

and the friendships!! andy and maya’s friendship is just, a mess. at this point they've spent more time at odds, and the idea that they're supposed to be best friends with this super close bond? yeah, i just... i dont buy it tbh. if they'd spent more time building up their connections and making us understand why they would be friends and showing them being there for each other past a few scattered scenes her and there? maybe. but so far, that hasn't been the case.  making that bond real, solidifying that friendship, would have made this conflict have more of an emotional impact. but doing it now? making maya ‘turn’ on andy, this soon and this drastically just. it made her seem like she was extremely jealous and had been waiting to pull the rug out from under andy all along. and also, why would they stay friends when, so far, maya has showed, time and time again, that she’s willing to let her wants/ambitions leech on her loyalty to andy? (jack thing, job thing, etc). although, it’s not like andy’s a good friend to maya either, she’s selfish and seems to like it when maya is in her corner but isnt always there for her. they went so far with the idea that maya was this coldly calculating asshole that she was almost a villain?? it was so silly to me.

and the traumatic home life plot they gave to maya was clearly their attempt at some adding nuance to her character and trying to explain why she would act the way she did, but to me? it fell flat. it was rushed, and they went from zero to 100(why did her mother come to talk about her divorce/abuse at maya’s job? like she was literally working? idgi. no boundaries lmaoo) 

and i actually relate and sympathize w maya a lot. and while i liked that they were exploring the many ways abuse can present itself, it was very... hm, ham-fisted. just super rushed and then wrapped up so quickly. they have, i think, written themselves into this dark place i fear they have no intention of exploring. 

and while i understand it, i hated how far they let maya go, especially because i don't feel they’ll adequately address it. they move on so quickly( maya was deaf for like half a season and then. she just. wasn't) and i hate the idea of her just being ‘fixed’. a relationship and an apology doesn't undo years of abuse, idc. also will they ever address maya’s um, thoughts about death??? because that was super heavy and not just something someone gets over? going to need for her to get actual professional help. that isn’t her girlfriend, like. asap. 

speaking of carina, i do like her and maya together a lot. big part of why i watch, ngl. but i need their relationship to be a lot more reciprocal. like, lets dial it back on the codependency, maybe. carina cant (and shouldn't have to) hold her up so much ! that’s not love. also maya needs to start being a good girlfriend. they started off that way, i know they can get back there. but like, we hardly got to see them settle into it, we got those cute 30sec clips of sweetness then maya was lashing out and cheating and it was like. wait a minute! what??? 

for s4, i want to see them working at reconciling—im talking, groveling, awkward in-between moments where carina isnt sure she can trust her. okay, tough conversations, hell, even jealousy because let's be real. maya working with jack is a lot for carina to just. take? i know i absolutely would not be happy about that, but i also wouldnt take maya back so... anyway! brushing over that would not just be a missed storytelling opportunity, but it would also be super unfair to carina and do a huge disservice to their relationship as a whole. as cute as they are, having cute moments with no real depth would get very old, very quickly.

carina: what can i say but-perfect, amazing, fantastic, WOW

seriously, carina is almost unrealistically perfect. she takes a lot and has been through the most (can they be nice 2 her this season? like just for fun) going forward, im going to need her to be more than a plot device to calm and soothe maya. i get that she was introduced as a love interest, but in season 4(as a season!!regular!!) that cant be all she is.

speaking of, it was really weird to me that she was promoted to station 19 and not greys because... what is a gynecologist going to do at a fire station? the general consensus seems to be that she’ll join warren’s PRT but like. she’s not a general surgeon so that’s a reach but, i want her around so ill buy it. i just want better and more for her tbh. not just screen-time, but also character development and depth! also friends! tired of carina being isolated, they did it on greys which. a waste! i meaaan, amelia was RIGHT. THERE. just look at the material! for s19, i want her, vic and travis to be friends or even just her and vic, like yesplease! i also want to know more about her and im tired of her being treated badly. like, i think society had progressed past carina being shitted on, thanks!

vic: my fave!!! they did so lazy by her this season ugh. she’s so charismatic and charming and just so good!! yet, her storyline was all over the place. we hardly got to see her sit with her grief  (spontaneous crying aside; barrett doss is so good!) she was just kind of... around. and that relationship w jackson. lol. it was so obviously for crossover potential and well. i didnt hate it or like it. actually, i was mostly indifferent. bored, even when they were onscreen together. i just didn't care and wanted more of vic, not vic and whoever. i know they're up in the air rn but i wouldn’t be torn up if he doesn’t come back. 

i want more for vic past just romantic entanglements. i know we’ve gotten a bit of her past, but i would like to see more! also, what about employment accomplishments? her artsy theatre friends? her family? just. more vic, please!!

she’s so fun and cool and when they let her, she shines. they need to let her! 

jack: my boy! so dumb, but i love him sm. he def needs like. major help, though lmao. and maybe it’s just me but im tired of his sex addict plot. like, we get it, but can we move on now? kthanks. they need to let him work on himself especially, the constant self sabotage. it's getting old. for ALL of them, actually, seriously, how many times can they all get in their own way.

andy: don’t really think about her. the mom storyline seems like it would be wonderfully dramatic, im intrigued. she and sullivan are cute, i guess. hope they make it.

ben: no major issues w his storyline, hardly remember it honestly. i liked the rapport he was building w vic and want them to explore that relationship more, its cute. 

travis: so funny and adorable, let him do more.

dean: loved him in all his entitled first born African son glory. i didnt so much love the baby plot but that always bores me. his sudden love for vic though. lol. since when? it def, came out of no where and while i really enjoy their friendship, to me, there is zero romantic chemistry there so i would prefer it if they just. stopped. lmao. also. the way he treated her because he could get a handle on his emotions? ridiculous. has humanity not like, gotten past the ‘he’s mean bc he likes you’ thing?? like grow up maybe?

and this isnt just about dean but like. are there not more single young people in seattle? why do they all have to sleep with the same 5 people. ik for the sake of plot, workplace relationships are easier but still. i think they should branch out. really. 

overall, i want better for all of them, and i think if the writers would just. take a moment and stop trying to tell so many stories in such little time, they could do better! also, whoever’s out there. please, enough w the crossovers! dont want to be forced to watch greys just to know what’s happening on 19. i get that they're in the same universe. it’s only mentioned every other episode. we. get, it. i liked what they did with private practice, it was like once every few seasons. and i know they won’t do that, but maybe, two a season. 

this is so much. but this how does have a ton of potential and i just really want it . like, get there.

[risrielthron]

Who We Were

This took a good long while because there was a retcon in November of 2015 that kinda forced Risri into hiatus. When I brought her back for the paper in 2016, some details changed but still this was an eye-opening exercise of how I’ve grown as both an RPer and a writer. Anything that does not have brackets is the same.

Take a trip down memory lane, pull up the oldest ‘about’ post you can find for your character, and annotate what has changed and what has stayed the same in {Curly brackets}. 

(I borrowed this from @alyssa-ward​​ because what a cool exercise)

Originally posted October 4, 2015

Character’s full name: Risri Elthron Reason or meaning of name:  combination of Mother's best friend's name (still alive) and her mother's sister who died - Rislana (best friend) and Kiari (sister). The Elthron family have mostly played a back seat in the history of the Kaldorei. {Both of these origins have kind of changed. Risri’s name became a place that her parents named her after, something that was important to her father’s family in an RP with her aunt. The last name Elthron was chosen by Risri during her exile her original family name is Kal’serrar.} Character’s nickname:  Ris Reason for nickname: just a short form of Risri

Physical appearance

Age: 403 {she has aged 1 rl year each year since 2015 she is currently 408 years old} How old does he/she appear: to a human about 20ish {I actually think now she probably seems a little older to people) Weight: We don't ask ladies this! Though she looks healthy and toned. {I figure she’s whatever the average weight is for female elves} Height: Average for a Kaldorei {This has changed a bit. I have her just a tad shorter than Dragaur in human form so she’s 6’2” which apparently is short for an elf} Body build: She's not a body builder but her activities keep her in shape. Shape of face: Typical Kaldorei {She did not have a face claim at the time nor did she have art.  Her face looks like this art the most.}

Eye color: White {I list it as silver now} Glasses or contacts: none Skin tone: light purplish Distinguishing marks: Claw tattoo (gained during her Druid initiation ceremony) Hair color: Purple Type of hair: Long Hairstyle: up in a ponytail or straight down her back {when I first made Risri I had her in the pigtail hair style. I quickly didnt like how it looks and changed it to the long style she sports now. It has not changed since} Voice: typically soft {I imagine her voice and accent a bit like Gal Gadot’s natural voice} Overall attractiveness: again not really caught up in her appearance so someone may need to tell her and even then she will more than likely blush and stammer a thank you. {This has changed so so much from when I first created her.  She knows she is lovely and she will probably think you want something from her if you flatter her appearance.} Physical disabilities: none Usual fashion of dress: For events: dresses...she has discovered she likes pretty pretty dresses.  For class: simple black pants and a simple shirt  {So this too has changed from when I first created her.  She aims for comfort and style. She most often will be found in one of these} Favorite outfit: Dresses, she found a lovely gold and white dress that has become her favorite {I dont even know what dress this was but Im sure it was something from my early days on wra-I would say her favorite outfit is probably one of the ones above} Jewelry or accessories: She wears a button on a string around her neck. She fondles it every so often. {The button on a string has actually moved to her bag, she now sports a ruby necklace from Dragaur, her bracelet with several charms on it, and always has her camera}

Personality

Alignment: Good {I think I would classify Risri now as more neutral these days} Good personality traits: Loves animals, children, books, meeting new people (even though she can be shy, she enjoys it), giving, loyal  {This is all true except for the shyness, I don’t actually rp Risri as shy. She may be standoffish but thats cause IRL I am shy but Risri most definitely has no fear of talking to people} Bad personality traits: shyness can sometimes stop her from joining in, when she is caught up in research she may ignore others not to be hurtful she just gets caught up  {I think this one goes with the other, as for bad traits today, I usually say she can be stuck in her ways at times and can be over protective} Mood character is most often in: happy {I would say this is still true but she’s had her share of pain} Sense of humor:  silly things make her laugh {Not so much silly things but she definitely has a more snarky is funny sense of humor} Character’s greatest joy in life: running in the forest as a cat {Taking pictures and being a druid are equal} Character’s greatest fear: the death of her mother {This has actually come out in RP as a fear of mind control.  She would fear the death of her mother but mind control tops it.} Why?  Her mother and her are very close (unusual for Kaldorei, as they grow up communally typically), travelling with her mother in her formative years they relied upon each other What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? Ris would be devastated if something happened to her mother  {I think the death of Latilda, and then when she thought Dragaur was dead, and subsequently the death of Suzi in the office are three of the most profound things that made Risri change some. Her fel contamination would come a close fourth Currently, if something was to really happen to Dragaur, Sky, or Selise it would mess up Risri for a while} Character is most at ease when: Researching {Funnily enough this might still be true, but I would say taking pictures is probably more} Most ill at ease when: at war {This is true, but as she found out both at Darkshore and recently when there are forsaken involved she has no hesitation in killing.} Enraged when: witnessing senseless destruction of sacred places or artifacts {I completely forgot that I chose that, but I would say it has not changed. She also does not stand for people she cares about being hurt, this one is tricky though and I often have to tame it down because of interactions with others.} Depressed or sad when:  she is a pretty positive individual, depression and sadness are fleeting if they happen at all. {This has matured over time. She gets very introspective at times and definitely will seek alone time when she is sad.} Priorities: Learn about as many cultures as she can, current focus is Treants. {So long ago… Her priorities currently are her studio, Dragaur, and helping the Kaldorei still homeless.} Life philosophy: Learn, Learn, Learn then share it all!  {This was definitely written back in my Stormwind University days. Her philosophy “Be kind. It’s worthwhile to make an effort to learn about other people and figure out what you might have in common with them.”} Character’s soft spot: her Sprite Darter "Flutter" {Also a certain worgen} Is this soft spot obvious to others? Sometimes {while I dont play it up too much she is very attached to Flutter. As for the worgen, yes when they are together it is clear she has a soft spot for the gruff one} Greatest strength: Passion for learning {This is probably still true but I would say she also is a pretty good photographer and a loyal friend.} Greatest vulnerability or weakness:  Naivety of how the world really works even though she has travelled the two main continents extensively she has been sheltered by her mother. {This was one of the things I retconned out of her when I brought her back for the paper. Risri may be unknowing of some human interactions but she is far from naive in most cases.} Biggest regret: That one time at band camp...seriously she is young so right now she doesn't have one but this may play into her development and story later. {HUGE change here... in fleshing her out in RP the biggest regret is and always will be the incident that forced her out of the Sentinels but not the results because it let her become a druid so its a double edged regret} Minor regret: she forgot to tell her mom about the time she ...oh that might not be appropriate for here {Again a change that came about from RP, that she threatened Dragaur with turning him in. She would never do that and she said it in a moment of frustration with him during a fight. It hurt them both too much.} Biggest accomplishment: coming soon  {Running the paper. Opening her studio. either} Minor accomplishment: joining the University! {so many things, her writings, some of her photographs, saving people at Teldrassil, helping the Kaldorei in Stormwind.} Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: she was almost not able to become a druid...story for another time {This also changed with the retcon, but I would say the time she spent before coming to Stormwind would be something she would not want others to know about and will probably not talk about to anyone.} Why?  She loves being a druid so not being one… {I have thoughts about what she was doing but its not fleshed out. Maybe someday and I can revisit this.} Character’s darkest secret: She is a pretty open book. Maybe later she will have a "dark" secret.  {So this dark secret is the fact that she killed 10 Sentinels. That also came with the revamp.} Does anyone else know?  {Several people.}

Goals

Drives and motivations: Curiosity unusual for a Kaldorei and need to have answers to questions  { I would say this is somewhat still there and aided her when she was a reporter, but her drives and motivations are deeper now and the result of RP. She wants to make amends and sees her work with the Kaldorei refugees as part of that.} Immediate goals: Make friends with the treant she met at the Grove of Ancients {Keep her business running, aid the Kaldorei} Long term goals: Become an expert in as many cultures as she can {Live} How the character plans to accomplish these goals: Locate writings and interviewing others, spending time with treants ((her contact will be sending her around Azeroth and Draenor to meet with others)) {So her plan for her immediate goals are tied together. She takes a good portion of her profits from the studio and the two books she’s published to fund her relief efforts} How other characters will be affected: may be pestered for any little detail they have about treants  {Most of the people she interacts with in RP would not be impacted.}

Past

Hometown: Darnassus  {God I was such a noob.  Feralas is her home.} Type of childhood: travelled both continents with her mother {so noob. She spent her youth in Feralas, Ashenvale, and Darkshore.} Pets: Sprite Darter named Flutter and a curious little white kitten {I retconned the kitten. Its only Flutter} First memory: Leaves above her (could be why she is fascinated with the treants...) {I think I’ll leave this one.} Most important childhood memory: Her and her mother on a ship talking into the night {This can stay too} Why?  The closeness she felt to her mother {Because of this reason}

Present

Current location: Elwynn Forest, Jazimina Amberstill's "Ranch" {Stormwind City, either Dragaur’s apartment or her studio} Currently living with: Jazimina Amberstill and Ritti {Dragaur} Pets: Sprite Darter "Flutter" Religion: Follower of Elune {no change, add wild gods} Occupation: Researcher {Photographer} Finances: moderate {no change though she has more wealth than she lets on}

Family

Mother:  Kahrysta Elthron  {Oh wow I totally changed her mother’s name.. Its Alistra Kal’serrar } Relationship with her: good {excellent} Father: Brezlin Elthron Relationship with him: vague memories, he died when she was still a child Siblings: none Relationship with them: Spouse: none Relationship with him/her: Children: none {though she briefly adopted Ritti before they found the gnome’s family} Relationship with them: Other important family members: Mother's best friend Rislana is like an aunt  {her aunt Tara, cousins, and another aunt I dont have a name for.}

Favorites

Color: Green and Purple {blues could be added} Least favorite color: Orange {sorry Drag, but I dont think its true anymore} Music: any Food: Chocolate Cookies {See answer here} Literature: Any Form of entertainment: stories {plays, dances could be added} Expressions: "Indeed!" {Its not often I get to use it but I do like it} Mode of transportation: Winterspring Frostsaber, given to her by her mother when she hit adulthood (about 50 years ago) or flight form  {Flight form.  The frostsaber went away in the retcon} Most prized possession: her journal {Camera}

Habits

Hobbies: Dabbles in alchemy {more than dabbles now} Plays a musical instrument? No Plays a sport: no How he/she would spend a rainy day: reading a book, any book {taking pictures} Spending habits: thrifty {for herself this is probably true, for others she can be extravagant} Smokes: no  Drinks: not normally  {no change, but she will drink} Other drugs: no What does he/she do too much of? Read  {Take pictures} What does he/she do too little of?  Socialize just for fun {This is probably more true now since giving up the paper} Extremely skilled at:  Keeping a team alive when faced with challenges when exploring  {Photography, writing could be added} Extremely unskilled at:  a lot of things but she does hate cooking {LIES...I retconned this. She loves to cook. I don’t know...but I am sure there is something. It would probably be something she doesn’t do and has no desire to do.} Nervous tics: not sure someone may need to point that out to her  {She plays with the bracelet on her wrist when she’s nervous. } Usual body posture: relaxed and happy Mannerisms: polite {extremely so} Peculiarities: …  {hmm, I am sure there are some that have manifested over the five years I’ve been RPing her. Perhaps how she will always address a human as their full name unless she has been asked not to and will still use Ms. Mrs. Miss. Mr. with that name unless she feels close to you.}

Traits

Optimist or pessimist: Optimist Introvert or extrovert: Introvert until she gets to know you then she might not be quiet {I would say shes more mixed now.} Daredevil or cautious?: A little of both Logical or emotional: Emotional  {probably more mixed now though she can be emotional she just normally doesn’t let it show unless she is very comfortable with you} Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat: somewhere in between, depends on how wrapped up she is in her research but she does have a habit of cleaning up if there is a mess  { I would say she is very neat. Sky drives her crazy.} Prefers working or relaxing:  working {definitely would say this is still true} Confident or unsure of himself/herself: unsure internally, others probably see her as confident  {a little of this still lingers but unless you are close to her you wont see it} Animal lover: indeed

Self-Perception

How he/she feels about himself/herself: an introvert who is more bookish than social  {This is still kinda true.} One word the character would use to describe self: shy  {Quiet} One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: A passionate learner and studier of peoples, loves animals, enjoys outdoors, and exploring is exciting.  {A memory keeper, lover of animals and the outdoors, her passion for photography as a way to preserve memories is high.} What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? her passion for learning  {her compassion for others} What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? her shyness ((its all in her head too, she really can be quite un-shy when meeting new races or investigating something though in social entertainment type situations she is at a loss)) {so retconned, she would say her possessiveness when it comes to the people she cares about.} What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? She is unaware of her appearance most of the time  {She likes her hair.} What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? She hates her feet...not really  {I’ll keep this if only cause I dont know} How does the character think others perceive him/her: She sometimes thinks too much about this and sometimes it doesn't bother her at all  {She is very conscious of being a Kaldorei business woman in a human society. She strives to show that her people are trustworthy and kind.} What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: her shyness  {Since I retconned the shyness...I don’t know...Risri believes she can be a better person but its something that you work on each day.} 

Relationships with others

Opinion of other people in general: opportunity to learn  {She is still curious about others and likes people watching. She thinks most people are good at heart.} Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others: hmm, I think this will depend upon the relationship and situation  {Oh most definitely, this was honed during her time as a reporter where she hid a lot of her thoughts about things.} Person character most hates: no one (yet)  {Elyza Morrowbranch} Best friend(s): her mother / Jazi  {Sky Stoneseat} Love interest(s): none (yet)  {Dragaur} Person character goes to for advice: her mother / Dean Crowelley  { Dragaur, Sky, Selise} Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Ritti  {Dragaur, Sky } Person character feels shy or awkward around: cute boys...oh ok anyone in an entertainment social situation, when she is meeting others for what she calls "research" she emulates her mother's ambassador ways as much as possible  {So such a noob.  She really doesn’t except older Kaldorei...she worries what they know of her past.} Person character openly admires: her mother and Rislana Silverwind  {Who is Rislana Silverwind omg I totally forgot this was a thing. Will have to think of someone else as Rislana is a Draenei now.  As for who she admires?  Her mother, Selise, Sky, Eilithe, Feyawen, Anegorn, and a few others.} Person character secretly admires: Dean Crowelley {I don’t think there is anyone she secretly admires, if she likes you, you know.} Most important person in character’s life before story starts: her mother  After story starts:  Ritti, Jazi, and the university faculty  {Dragaur, Sky, Selise}

If you made it here thanks for looking at the changes of Risri over the course of the last five years.  Its been a long, strange, crazy trip but I wouldn’t change much about it. If you want to do this, I encourage you to! And tag me cause I wanna read!

[thefandomsurfer]

My top 20 favorite Tokyo Ghoul characters

I usually only do top 10s but like...I love so many characters in Tokyo Ghoul it was really hard for me to do?? So I did more. Also DO NOT GET offended. Even my honorable mentions are very...very dear to me. (Also the places are just how mush I, myself, enjoyed the character not how great the character is or that your opinion isnt valid. And I skipped most of the Suzuya squad because they would probably dominate my top six or something and that wouldnt be fair haha )

Honerable mentions:

Hide:

Itori:

Arima:

Matsumae

Kimi

Nishiki:

Shirazu ginishi

THE ENTIRE SUZUYA SQUAD (Nakarai, Mikage, Mizurou, Hanbee.)

Now onto my list!

20.  Shuu Tsukiyama

I really didnt like him much at first. He made me uncomfortable and really annoyed. I mean, yeah, certain times I thought he was pretty funny but he made me more and more unnerved the longer I saw him. But then when I saw his nicer side and especially during seeing his loyalty and love for his family he started to grow on me. And now hes on this list!

19. Rize Kamishiro

Rize always was interesting to me. I wondered how she got to where she was, why she was so important in the ghoul world and just how she got to be so strong. Not to mention her characters personality made me very compiled to her. Then I got her backstory and understood her more. I liked her even more and began to respect her character. 

18. Renj Yomo

I always liked his ‘silent protector’ vibe even before finding out his backstory. I thought he was loyal and smart. And then it was revealed that he was the uncle to some very improtant characters and it made me love him even more. His backstory contributed to his gruffness and protective nature and not to mention his kagune is freaking AWESOME.

17. Ayato Kirishima

Hes grown into someone I really enjoy. I...really didnt like him. He hurt Touka and acted like an ass the whole time. Then I saw a softer side when it came to Hinami. He was so concerned and cared about her so much that it touched me a lot. And he was a little more calm and controlled compared to what he had been in the first series as well. He developed into someone who not only cared for his love interest but his family and those important to both of them as well.

16. Amon Koutarou

Amon, poor poor Amon. This guy has went through a whole lot during his time in the series. And hes accepted a lot as well. I always liked Amon even before everything like changed him. He seemed like a really cool guy who truly did what he thought was best. Then he learned what we the audience already knew. That ghouls weren’t as bad as everyone thought they were. And then fought for peace. And that coupled with how much he tried to help Seidou and loved Akira made be like and respect his character even more.

15. Kurona Yasuhisa

Another character I really liked from the beginning. See, I have a weakness for twins. I always loved the idea of one and think that no matter the relationship they are always interesting to watch in media. And her relationship with Nashiro, while not explored a whole lot, was still prominent and known. And her denial about her death and the form of insanity she went through because of it was both sad and entertaining to watch. The fact that she started to think about forgiving the person who killed her as well was...amazing. Over all I wish she was explored a bit more but am happy with what I got.  

14. Urie Kuki

Another character that I slowly learned to appreciate. He started out as someone who cared only for his own motives but after losing someone who he hadnt realized he cared for he begun to care for his team and mant to protect them as much as he can. Becoming someone worthy of their loyalty and love. Going as far as to save one of the ones who betrayed him and tried to kill him just to get them all together again and keep his promise to his dead friend.

13. Ui Koori

Im not sure what made me drawn to him? Maybe his relationship with Hairu or his sense of Justice? I dont know but I do know that I like seeing his appearances. His fights and thought process was always fun as well. Over all Im not sure why I like him all I know is that I really do haha 

12. Ken Kaneki

Okay I know, its basically illegal to have him so low on my list but honestly? I never really got that deep into his character? I mean he was sweet at first but then he was kind of boring? And I liked Haise a lot but really didnt like the reaper? The OEK one is cool and all but I still never got overly attached? I dont know. But I will say he is cool and I love how dedicated he is to his loved ones. And how honest he is about his flaws. Its really nice to see a protagonist that admires that he is selfish in certain ways and isnt always trying to do things for ‘the greater good’. And will do cruel and horrible things when push comes to shove. It makes him seem...a lot more human and tragic. Yet the fact he still had his happy ending made me happy for him. After the hell hes been through he deserves it.     

11. Seidou Tawkizawa

Seidou. He...certainly needs a little help. Poor guy was such a innocent kid before his whole life was turnt upsidedown. I’ll be honest...I thought he was kind of annoying at first and then very scary later on. But after seeing a bit of his side of how everything went down and how much he cared for Akira and Amon my liking for him skyrocketed and I couldn't wait to see him again in the next chapter. How he sees himself and his future...it just hit to close to home for me. And soon enough he became one of my favorite characters.

10. Haise sasaki

Ahh, my favorite of all the Nekis. I really, really liked him. How parental he was with his squad and his storyline always interested me. The amnesia thing has always been one of my favorite tropes. He, to me, was a perfect mix of Kuroneki and Shironeki. Having the lightheartedness and empathy of Kuroneki and having the toughness and ability to fight as Shironeki. I liked how goofy he could be (i.e dressing up as women) and all his little moments with Akira, Arima and Juuzou. But he was a dream, nothing meant to last, so he had to go. But that does NOT mean I didnt enjoy watching him the most.

9. Kanae

I just really like her. I think her backstory is sad but not overdoing it and her dedication to Tsukiyama was certainly something that drew me to her. At first I thought I’d hate her but found myself sorely mistaken. And I cried a whole lot at her death and the touching moment when Tsukiyama, the person she loved so much, called her by her real name and accepted her despite

 the fact she thought she never deserved anything even similar to perhaps she’d be even higher had she stayed longer but she left far to soon.

8. Eto Yoshimura

Eto is very interesting and fun to watch. Cruel and mean, yes, but also unpredictable! She never failed to make a impression on me everytime I saw a panel of her. I was always wondering ‘what will she do next?’ you know? I absolutly loved watching\reading her. Her backstory made me love her even more seeing as she had a bit of a struggle to get to were she is now.

7. Hairu Ihei.

Hairu is someone else I dont know why I like so much? We didnt see her much at all and what we did see of her was little. But something about her drew me in. She was cute and I didnt expect much from her but found out she was pretty strong. Also with how sweet and air headed she acted I already liked her a little, the strength was only a added bonus. I only wish we got to see more of her. 

6. Uta

Uta, someone who I already liked, only grew on me as time went on. I thought he was funny, unique and very good looking. And as time whent on, and seeing how twisted he could be, it only made be want to see what would happen next with him. Whose side he was really on. Things like that. But then his fight with Yomo made be see him in a more emotional light. Seeing how close he was to him and still was in in a way. It was sweet and only made me like him even more. 

5. Akira Mado 

Akira Mado. At first I never thought much of her. Just a sort of bland character who had lost her father. Nothing new, nothing interesting. But her relationship with Amon certainly made be feel a little closer to her and made be pity her at the end of the first manga. But then in Re: I grew a lot closer to her really quickly. Her character seemed more open to others and friendly. Her realtionship Haise especially made me like her a whole lot. Then all her confusion and journey forgiving and accepting ghouls made he so interested and caring of her character. How much she wanted to protect Seidou and the fact she still loved Amon-It just...Made he love her. So much. 

4. Saiko Yonebayashi

Saiko is a very funny individual that I didnt like much at first. I thought she was more or less dead weight and didnt understand why she was their to begin with. But the more we got to know her the more that I grew to love her development and character. Shes funny and kind but also strong and determined. I love her a whole lot. How determined she is to do what she thought was right and how much she cared for everyone in her squad despite her own initial unwillingness to try and work. All things I love about her. 

3.  Tooru Mutsuki

Now I know how much this character is hated...And I understand too. He did a lot of twisted and messed up things. Stayed on the bad side a long time, attacked Touka and his squad helped turn Kaneki into  a monster...But his backstory and the personality we were originally introduced to made me love him so...so much. It didnt matter much to me what he did because I knew why he did it and not to mention...Mutsukis one of the most interesting characters to analyze because of his mindset. Also the fact he tried to redeem himself and felt guilty about everything he did...It shows that he is trying to do better and he is. I just....really, really love Mutsuki.

2. Touka Kirishima

Touka is a very rough character, and I get that some people just dont like her, But I loved every second of her. The person with a rough outside slowly breaking out of their shell and becoming gentler as time goes on- its something I have a soft spot for. Loyal, selfless, strong and knows what she wants. A woman who is strong without being controlling or mary sue. I never got annoyed or bored of her and looked forward to seeing her every single time a new chapter was put out. And also her protectivness towards Kaneki, her child, Ayato, and Hinami made me love her all the more. Shes also got my favorite Kagune of the whole series-Yet another thing I love about this character.

1. Juuzou Suzuya

By FAR my absolute favorite character in Tokyo ghoul. Now dont get me wrong-Im well aware of his faults. And I know he wasnt on the good side for a while either, But even though these things are there, I love him anyway. Hes so interesting and his backstory was so heartbreaking. When I first saw him I was indeed mildly creeped out but it also made me curious. The more I saw of him the more I wanted to analyze and get to know his character more. And right when I thought I got to know him-The one person who saw him as a person and treated him as he should be treated was taken away. This caused Juuzou to experience his first emotional loss in a very long time. And he changed. I personally enjoy his more mature personality compared to his more bloodthirsty one but love both either way tbh. And hes also very adorable when he wants to be so thats always a plus.    

[tumblunni]

Why is gyan amakano so cute. It should be illegal. I hate how he has such a huggable design and then his character is totally wasted on being half super evil jerkman half Every Fat Stereotype Simultaneously. Like seriously how did this even HAPPEN

Artist: ok so ive drawn this round softman in a cute lil fancy tuxedo who always carries lollipops in his back pocket

Writers: ah yes, the perfect Irredeemable Murder Cannibal Man

Or like..

Writers: we need an Irredeemable Murder Cannibal Man

Artist: dont worry bro i got ya *draws a big circle with a happy face*

Or of course theres the alternative universe where nobody involved in this project ever noticed that this character design looks fuckin precious, but i dont want to live in that world

And then he's only in!! Two episodes!! And theyre so weird and not great!! Its like they kept changing their mind whether he was meant to be funny or scary. Goes from "ha ha a fat man enjoys cookies" to "he literally wants to make cannibal cookies out of humans" to "but ha ha look he's cosplaying as the genie from aladdin, lets go back to laughs now".

And also they made him be a huge jerk to Are Bacchino and that pisses me off!! Its already a bit shitty that they made a character whose entire "joke" is that he has ocd/germaphobia and its meant to be funny? Somehow? That he has this mental illness? And is frequently exposed to stuff that terrifies him?? Funny how???? But then theres a really rather disturbing montage of Gyan punishing his sidekick by straight up triggering his phobia and YIKES MAN sorry thats even more evil than the cannibalism! Also why was it drawn all overly detailed and Saw-esque?? Why did we need so much art effort put into showing dirty feet and a guy being forced to stick his hand in a shit filled toilet. Was this someone's goddamn fetish or something???

So yeah. Upset.

U P S E T T I. R E G R E T T I.

I'm so mad they wasted a cool character deisgn and cool concept on such a shitty execution. Like even the plot could have been cool? They could have got a lot more episodes out of the idea of these two runnibg thru fairytale books and cosplaying as different classic villains. And if theyd just made a damn decision and gone with either funny cute or scary bad then it could have worked! Personally i am voting for funnycute obv course. But also thatd work best with this plot, it would have been better if it was just a low stakes goofy adventure with something like "oh this dude wants to find the legendary magic wish thingie to wish for a lifetime supply of chocolate and our heroes wanna wish for something actually important so thats why they fight". Could have even added some drama cos like he doesnt know the thing is actually dangerous and then what if he ends up possessed by it and you still get a fight with him thats pretty high stakes without having this weird inconsistant personality thing. Could be quite a dramatic twist to suddenly have comedy villain man as a genuine threat! Ans could be a way to resolve it all with friendship cos you could have Are Bacchino teaming up with the heroes to save his boss and then Gyan is like "whoa i guess you guys were 100% right all along" when he gets saved from his own bigass mistake and all. And then THE GAMES COULD ACTUALLY MAKE HIM PLAYABLE PERHAPS, JUST SAYIN

Also PLEASE rewrite like every single thing about the relationship between the two of them. Please take whoever said "yeah gyan should outright torture his one and only friend with a messed up Saw movie ocd-triggering machine" and throw them out the window. Consider this: what if..they were actually...friend. Like i feel they'd have enough comedy potential already just from being a "rival mafia" thats literally two people who are ludocrously incompetant at everything they do and only ever succeed at (literally) stealing candy from babies. Play up that side of things more! No need to throw random super evil shit at the funnymen to make them seem more intimidating, theyre at their best when theyre not intimidating at all. And you could still have the same gag of the fairytale world forms always being Gyan as some sort of classic villain and Are as a talking carpet or whatever, like just say thats how the magic works instead of Gyan doing it on purpose to be a jerk. And you could even still have Are being the funny underdog just from sheer bad luck instead of being purpisely mistreated by every single character in the entire cast. Or have it that Gyan is just a bit of a bumbling idiot boss who doesnt notice his mistakes and Are is like the hypercompetant sidekick who always ends up taking the consequences of those mistakes because he's like an overportective bodyguard. Which could also be a way to establish some cute friendship moments! Like i dunno someone's about to throw a pie at Gyan and Are does an overdramatic diving save and a whole fake death scene from the sheer horror of getting banana cream frosting on his suit. "Boss...go on without me..." *cough choke* And Gyan is like *equally overdramatic tears* "He made the ultimate sacrifice! I will avenge him!!" *charges forward to fight the heroes and just gets easily beat up like usual* And then its like *even more continually dramatic narration* "and the boss was beaten and bruised, but he carried me for miles through wind and storm" *over footage of like ridiculously impossible heroic adventures thay clearly didnt happen* And then it just cuts to the two of them sitting at like...ye olde fantasy laundromat. Are sobbing like "oh boss i'll never forget this" and Gyan is just like *thought bubble* "i wish i got to eat that pie tho"

I dunno maybe im naive but i just think shows are generally more fun when characters actually like each other and have motivations beyond self interest. Obvipusly not EVERY character has to be like that, but nobody is ever kind at all in the damn anime whether theyre villain or hero. And also specifically these sorts of minor role villains can benefit a lot from being fleshed out this way to become way more memorable! Like gin and kin became way better in Psychic Specters when they got the added trait of loving and cherishing their little brother. (To the point of it being a literal battle power that made their horribly hard boss fight even worse, lol!)

Also just...plz dont make a man so cute if hes meant to be big badness. Like seriously Are looks scarier than him and Are is like the least scary man to ever have those scary ass eyes! Smol depressed man with ocd and tol round lollipops friendo. I WANT TO LOVE THEM

Im gonna just cross my arms and sit here stubbornly hoping for The Anime/Game Effect to kick in. Like 99% of all characters in the anime are jerks and even when anime originals end up cameoing in the games they tend to become generally nicer and more well developed as people. So fingers crossed for a yw4 appearance thats full cute and 0% cannibalism!!!

Seriously fuckin.. CANNIBALISM

Why does the anime do that so much as a "funny" "joke"? The episode where Jerry murders a sentient dessert yokai in graphic gory detail still haunts me. "Ha ha its funny because technically theres no blood so we can show her gasping for breath with a hole in her lungs as a man eats her corpse" Did they put the entire budget into that one death animation??? Oh no cos they saved at least a little of it for the Herbiboy Gets Murdered By A Lawnmower episode T_T

Anime why u be this way.

[applecherry108]

first of all hooooooooolyyyy shiitttt

FUCK tungle. it took like 30 tries to log in on desktop. admittedly, i was using the wrong password at first, BUT, even when i remembered the right one it kept giving me shit. This is what i get for being L337 i guess... -_-

anyways, im only on desktop so i can add a readmore to say:

i just,,,,,hate voltron. okay? It sucked. it fucking sucked. i watched the first season and it was like, okay yeah, this has potential. and then s2 was like, okay yeah not as good but maybe s3 will pick up...

s3 didn’t pick up. it was just one long death spiral by the same idiots who fucked up the atla sequel. i hate their writing, i hate their story plots, i hate how they butcher any good ideas they have, and i especially hate their inability to have good character AND plot development happen at the same time.

I got swept up in storm of klance and that’s about it. i have soft spots for other ships but at the end of the day i don’t care. i just don.t fucking,,, care???

the fandom is a mess, the crew was a mess, everything was a fucking mess from the get go.

Like who tf is this show written for?? it has to be for like, 8-10 year olds. It has to be. Everything is just so....stupid. Nothing is ever properly explained, motivations never really given, everyone is just a 2 dimensional cardboard cutout of a trope. And that pisses me off so much bc like??? other shows aimed at young kids can still have great world building. they can have good world building and characters and overall story and still be cheesy and a lil dumb. cheesy and a lil dumb is completely fine!! but voltron is just so...godammn... BORING!! it’s like i WANT to like the characters but its just so goddamn hard when everybody is so fucking flat. by all rights, i should want to marry allura. shes everything i loved when i was little, from her color pallet to her princesshood to her white fucking hair!! i should LOVE allura but i don’t!! i kind of hate her. why?? i don’t know!! shes so...boring! and flat! and fucking PASSIVE! everything in this show lands so fucking flat holy shit.

pidge at matts “grave”? yikes, that was second hand hard to watch for like.... “oooh this is so serious!” but the buildup wasnt there...it was kind of funny tbh... and HELLA awkward...

don’t get me started on lance and hunk. bolin was my favorite look character for the first few episodes and then he got knocked to Comic Relief and had maybe two (2) importantish moments. he/they may be part of the main cast but they’re not main characters. they feel like background props to the Actual Main characters.

which brings me to keith.

FUCK keith.

that’s my reaction after every! new! season!! is just,, FUCK keith. god the show functioned SO WELL without him. he’s just so...idk. i also don’t care. what was his character arc anyway? it SHOULD have been about learning to love and trust others but we only get that in lip service and speed run character development (i hate the quantum abyss...so much... like yeah, who cares about SHOWING our characters mature, let’s just tell that it happened in afucking montage.) if keith were a properly developed character he shouldve remained PASSIONATE and idk, run support?? that boy SHOULD have piloted red, end of story. period. keith doesn’t need to lead he needs to learn to TRUST others and that insludes trusting other WITH HIS LIFE. i won’t rant about how we should have had black paladin lance, but keith should have never ever been black paladin. even after he “matures” he still sucks at. he’s this awful,,little,, Shiro 2.0. and I hate it. i ahte it and i hate shiro just a little bit. even though he was arguably the most likeable character, he shouldve stayed dead. or missing. or whatever. he didn’t need to come back and they didnt need to make keith a little offbrand clone of him. i ESPECIALLY hate that they aged keith up 2 years for no goddamn reason other than to make him the Adult (tm). keith’s dedication to others was gre4at, but it should have, and im failing for this word here so forgive me, climaxed? cresscendo’d? whatever. /resulted/ in him playing support. not leader. lone wolf keith doesn’t need how to lead his pack, he needed to learn to HELP his pack. to be a TEAM PLAYER. he didn’t want the responsibility of leading bc guess what?? some people hate leading!! there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be support! keith’s entire arc is a huge mess of missed opportunities and a grand illustration that he is lm’s and jds’ favorite, just like fucking mako.

i won’t rant about mako, but just know i fucking hate him and the special treatment he gets, and good LORD does keith take over mako. keith isn’t space zuko he’s space mako and it fucking SHOWS.

okay, i’m losing steam here, but like.... so apple, why tf where u voltron 24/7 if you hated it so much? because homestuck was over and i needed a new hyperfixation. and i really had to force it for vld tbh. and at the end of the day, it wasn’t so much about the show itself as the potential of klance (or sheith, up until s3). between the interviews, the coding, the fucking EVERYTHING--it really felt like it could be canon. i knew in my heart it was queer baiting but i had HOPE dammit. hope that this could be killer representation, hope that these characters would delvelopment into something incredible. again, there was so much POTENTIAL. and all of it was wasted. everything really came to a head during the fucking game show episode. it was like lm and lds giving everyone who likes lance the middle finger, really driving home that “no no, he IS just stupid. he’s the comic releif. there’s nothing deeper about him and no one will stand up for him bc they all think of him as such.” and that just....broke my heart. we were so...SO close to lance actually mattering but nope! bolin’d again! and what was his purpose in s8? why to be an accessory to allura of course!

i’ve seen a lot of people really divorce themselves from canon and live solely for fanon, esp fanon klance but like.... i can’t. i just can’t. it’s so fucking hard to work with these cardboard characters. you can only draw so much depth onto them, you know? until the very last moments they had potential, but then it all got snuffed out. but who cares about canon? why bother with it? because! we don’t have a solid consistent fanon version of them! no one sat down and delivered the ten commandments of “here’s what we agree k and l are actually like” it’s stupid and it sucks because everyone has their own little differences and its so so tiring to basically be interacting with minutely different ocs all the goddamn time. canon matters bc it gives everyone the same base to work with. like a cooking showing with the same basket ingredients, but now it’s like.... ya’ll don’t wanna use the mandatory ingredients (and why would you? those canon ingredients are like, a century egg and spoiled sardines, they’re awful.)

okay, and im at work and just came back to this and dont remember my train of thought so like... what really threw all this into sharp clarity was the recent steven universe episodes. they were so...GOOD. so fucking good. so much plot and foreshadowing coming to a head. it was such a wonderfully satisfying payoff that it made me remember what a GOOD show is like, how vld is so very very /bad/. the difference is fucking striking. where one is an intricately woven tale with excellent character development and clear story AND character arcs, that can progress AT THE SAME TIME, one is a hacked together flaming dumpster firing that constantly falls flat and doesn’t know where its going or why. and it s so BORING! like fight scenes can be amazing! they can be well coreographed and tense! and we as the audience can be anxious about the outcome! and vld just wasn’t that! it was boring repetetive action in the least exciting way. and where su set up a lot of potential, holy shit they DELIVERED on that potential. not just for rep, but for characters! for story! for plain ol simple character interactions! and then, again, two dimensional cardboard cutouts.

and now with this difference in good vs bad show so very clearly highlighted for me, i just.... i can’t, anymore, with vld. it sucks. it sucked and i can’t pretend or force a fixation with it that just isn’t there, and truthfully, probably never was. maybe that’s why i’ve been struggling to finish my fic, struggling ever since i posted the last chapter, ever since s7, which, again, that game show was really the nail in the coffin as far as holding onto any hope that this tire fire would ever pick up. like a physically feel ill trying to finishing this stupid fic bc i don’t care so hard. i don’t care and i just... really want to be over it. im sick of seeing it everywhere, im sick of the drama, of the Discourse. like all fandoms have their issues, but hold fuck does vld fandom have a massive Purity problem. like, god, let people ship whatever. who cares. die mad about it.

like homestuck, idk if i’ll ever fully ween myself off vld but i want to move on. i want to enjoy Other Things without having this lackluster weight on my shoulders. and more than anything, i want to stop feeling like im obligated to like the same shit as i did two years ago, or last year, or hell, last week! feel free to unfollow, but yeah i just.... really needed to let this out in a proper post and not in the misc tags somewhere.

[ick25]

Rockman.EXE Episode 30 Review.

I know, this doesn’t look good. RUN, ROCKMAN!

Don’t mess with Mama Zap!

We open the episode with some drunk bum walking around a city under the rain, who is then revealed to be Count Elec. This was cut out from the american dub, so the episode begins with him entering a mansion that seems to belong to him, still looking like a bum.

Count Elec is depressed because he basically lost his job at the World Three after Pharohman blew up their lair, and Wily is MIA.

The Count goes up some stairs where he is startled by a an old woman, after falling down the stairs the Count recognizes her as his mother.

Motherly love.

After the title card, we see Netto in a hurry to get somewhere, with Rockman running inside his PET.

Which is really adorable.

Turns out Netto is late to take a bus, and said bus leaves passing next to him. Rockman tells him that was their bus and Netto runs after it.

Rockman reminds Netto that even when traveling overseas he still sleeps in late. Netto says that his alarm clock didnt go off, but after saying this, the alarm activates which is a recording of his mom telling him to wake up.

Makes sense, since she doesn’t care enough to wake her own son up to go to school, he has to use a recording. “It’s the only thing that makes me feel like my mother loves me.”

The people in the bus laugh at Netto after this, and we cut to the Count looking at a grave stone in front of some ruins until his mother calls him back inside to eat some muffins she baked.

It looks like she knows everything about the World Three and how Rockman ruined their plans many times, because she tells him that Rockman’s operator is in Kingland just like them and that it’s his chance to get revenge.

Yeah... The Count’s mother also likes to play with electricity and zaps the muffin out of his hands. She proceeds to insult him saying that he is nothing like his older brother.

His brother plays a part in the game as well, but since he is not important right now, I’m not gonna talk about him yet.

We get to understand the Count’s issues, about how he was always compared to his brother and it was one of the reasons why he left home.

After seeing mama Elec zapping everything in the room, she finally hits the count who falls to the ground where she tells him that she has a plan to help him get revenge on Rockman’s operator.

Because a mother will always support you even in getting revenge on some Navi who foild your evil plans.

Back to Netto in the bus, he is reading a tour guide about a mysterious creature living in a lake, making me wonder if Kingland is suppoused to be Scotland, but I think it actually represents the United Kingdom as a whole.

Rockman, why are you so adorable today?

The weather outside suddenly turns dark and the bus begins to lose control.

Netto plugs into the bus computer and Rockman finds that it has been taken over by viruses. No idea how they got there, unless the bus is conected to the internet like everything else in this world, so I shouldn’t be surprised.

Rockman begins to delete viruses, but its now time for the obligatory “Hinouken not being where Netto is” gag.

Hey, India is famous for many other things.

We return from commercials with a shot of the bus under the rain. The driver tells Netto that the engine isn’t working for some reason and decides to leave the bus to find help. And I think it’s funny how there is a plush doll of Rush and a guy who looks like a member of KIZZ in the bus.

The driver leaves the bus, and soon after Netto sees Count Elec’s mansion. He decides to go to the mansion to look for a phone, the doors are open so he just lets himself in.

So basically Netto conects Rockman to disable the alarm system in the mansion. I feel there is something wrong with this, I mean, what would stop a burglar from breaking in and sending a Navi to stop the security?

As Netto looks for a phone he comes across some fallen over pictures, he tries to see them but an old woman stops him.

A very ugly old woman, is he pretending to be his own mom or something?

Netto asks for a phone and the Count points at an antique phone, where Mama Elec sees Netto for the first time.

Well, you don’t usually go around saying that you want to get revenge on a grade schooler for beating you in a video game.

The Count leaves Netto who wasn’t able to call anyone on the phone. Netto enters a ballroom where he remembers about Rockman, his PET shows static and the ballroom suddenly locks him in with a Net battle machine displaying Rockman trapped inside a dome.

Oh no, Rockman has been cutted in half! Oh, wait, its just a layering mistake.

The Count reveals himself before Netto, telling him that he will finally get his revenge on Rockman. 

Netto is surprised to see the Count in Kingland, but he accepts his challenge and plugs in after Count Elec sends in Elecman.

“This is the Elec Dome. Two Navis go in, one Navi comes out”

They start the battle, Elecman avoids Rockman’s buster shots and suddenly decides to use a judo move on him. Throwing Rockman against the wall activates an electric device above Netto that shocks him.

So everytime Rockman receives damage, Netto gets electricuted.

Is this a thing in Japan? Because this also happened in an episode of Pokemon.

Rockman reminds Netto about the strategy they used against Skullman, something the subs messed up.

This is what happens when people who don’t know anything about the show do the translation! Xc

Netto remembers and sends the Mini Bombs to Rockman who covers the whole area with smoke. Just like with Skullman, they trick Elecman into facing the Mini Bombs that explode in his face, shocking Count Elec.

Mama Elec doesnt like this however and we see her on the roof playing an electric guitar.

Like mother, like son, I guess.

This somehow sends powerful electrical shocks at both the Count and Netto who is rendered unconscious.

Netto getting knocked out distracts Rockman allowing Elecman to attack him.

Elecman is about to finish him with an Elec Sword, but just by pure luck, Netto’s mom alarm goes off inside his backpack waking him up and he inmediately sends a chip to Rockman who rolls out of the way and wins in the knick of a second

Elecman logs out, the Count’s mom yells and burns him to a crisp, and Netto turns off his alarm thanking his mom for actually doing something useful for once.

The storm dissapears and Netto returns to the bus ( that didn’t leave him for some reason) where he asks the driver about the engine. The driver says that the bus started working again as soon as the storm cleared out.

After this, we return to the Count who wakes up in the ruins from before and reveals a chilling fact.

:O WHAAAAAAAT?!

The Count believes that everything that happend so far was a dream. Madoi appears and tells the Count that Mahajarama is calling everyone together and asks him if he is going, after remembering some words his mama told him a long time ago, he accepts.

We then see Netto at lake Chantra where Rockman asks him if there was somebody else at the mansion because he heard a woman’s voice cheering for the Count. And to make things even weirder, the episode ends with a close up of the Lock Ness monster swimming in front of Netto who doesn’t notice it.

O.O

So what do I think?

This was an interesting episode, we learn more about Count Elec’s background. He comes from a wealty family in Kingland and left because he was tired of being compared to his older brother. As I said before, the Count’s brother is also a character in the game, but he will be introduced later in a future episode.

From a psychological point of view, this episode could’ve been about the Count having a hallucination or a very vivid dream caused by the alchohol and his depression, the World Three being destroyed made him lose his motivation and decides to return to his home in Kingland where times were much easier for him. His mother appearing represents his desire to find himself again and admitting that he wants revenge on Rockman for foiling his plans over and over. 

However, that wasn’t the case since Netto and Rockman saw the mansion too, and Rockman even heard Mama Elec’s voice during his battle with Elecman. This can only mean one thing, that ghosts exist in the anime’s universe too! Poor Rockman, his fear of ghosts makes sense now.

Yes, we’ve seen ghost appear sometimes in the game, so I guess this was a reference to those moments. In hindsight, it made sence. When she first appear, the Count was scared to death because he knew his mama was dead, and the scene with the Count trying to eat a muffin but his mom stopped him from eating it, hinted that the muffin wasn’t really there. When Netto was using the phone, he didn’t hear the Count’s mother talking to him from the staircase, and she even dissapeared when he looked back. The ruins were the remains of the mansion and the grave stone was his mother’s.

It makes sense that the Count believes it was all a dream, but what about Elecman? He was there during the battle, wouldn’t he confirm to the Count that it was all real? Looks like we will never know.

[franeridart]

Opinion on serobaku and serokiri?

SeroBaku kills me in the sweetest way and SeroKiri brings me back to life when I feel dead inside and SeroBakuKiri is like heaven on earth tbh I love those ships they make me feel warm !!!

Anon said:Yes but i loved minas hair like that??? So either ur hair is also p good or ur art is just that great n I’m %99 sure that it’s both, also r u ever planning to post a picture of urself?? ? I’m sorry if this question makes u uncomfortable, have a nice day!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh thank you!!!!! And pictures aren’t really my thing so that’s probably not gonna happen, but I assure you you’re not missing anything by not seeing me, anon hahaha

Anon said:Fraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan! ilu

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ヽ(o♡o)/ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Anon said:Imagine Bakugo drawing pictures of his squad without them noticing. Like Kiri looking out a window or mina and Denki trying their best to study or sero scrolling on his phone. I wonder how they would react to finding his sketch book

I’m sobbing this is so nice ;A; Sero and Kaminari’s reaction would probably be along the lines of “how is this guy good at everything” haha I like the headcanon of Mina drawing too so her reaction would be a bit different, probably, but still very very awed 

meanwhile Kiri is on the ground dying

(Kiri is me)

Anon said:Lately I’ve just like…. Noticed but all your art is such high quality and honestly it looks so so good. You have such a lovely style and it’s so original and distinctive and I’m love it and you so much. Plus!!! sometimes I’ll just look through your art tag and even though I think it all looks great I can tell you’ve improved a lot, and, idk, you inspire me to work on my own art constantly and thank you!! I hope you have a lovely day!!

Oh my god this ask slayed me ???????? thank you so much ;A; jesus this was so damn nice I dunno how to react at all !!!!!!!!!!!! I hope your own art is coming along great, anon!!!! I’m glad my doodles can make you want to have fun with it too!!!!!

Anon said: i absolutely adore your art style ! it’s so unique and fascinating and pretty i die

Welp thanks to this ask I die too so it’s two of us anon o m f g (thank uuuuu)

Anon said:Ahhhh the dorm life comics honestly made me smile so much I love them the way you portray all the characters is always so nice and asfhdjd your art is my favorite AND listening to you ramble in the tags honestly makes my day better I love it 10/10 bless

This is it, they day Fran honest to god dies, cause of death: yall being way too sweet for me to take holy s m o k e s ( ;A;)

Anon said:Do you think the UA teachers hang out like the kids do in the dorms?

YESSSSSSSS Aizawa and Mic are high school friends so I’m pretty sure it’s canon they waste time together, Blood King and Dog Hound are canon pals too so they also most probs chill together too! Blood King is also the same age as Aizawa and Mic so they probs used to go to school together too!!! And with Dog Hound being 32, Midnight being 31 and Cementoss and Thirteen being 28 they’re more or less all the same age, so I like to think they spend free time together~ some scenes with the teachers make me think they’re good pals with the older ones too, it’s a really fun group of people to be honest!

Anon said:I wonder what Kiri would do if Bakugou had the flu…Or what they would do if they stepped on Legos XD It’s a funny thought. I love your art so much, you’re my favorite Bakushima artist!!

Anon said: Omg your art gives me life. I was just wondering what happens when the bakusquad get a sick? Thank you

Thank you to both of you!!!! And I could give you both my take on this, but would I be able to make it better than BnHA SMASH did? Probably not, that thing’s so hilarious t b h hahaha

Anon said:OMG IS JIROU PLAYING UKULELE?! I PLAY UKULELE!!! OMG

Yes she is!!!!! I like to think Jirou’s got at least basic knowledge for how to play any instrument ever, so when she’s laying around in the common room once she got used to her friends listening to her play she’d bring with herself the smaller and easier ones to carry! An ukulele has a super nice sound and is small enough to bring around the dorms haha

Anon said:fran!! hi!! Ur comics actually make my life 50% better everytime i see them so thanks for cheering me up everytime you post!! They’re amazing and so is everything u do!! (Love ur art style btw)…. So besides all the compliments, i have a question!! What’s your opinion on AU’s where bakugou is deaf? Would u ever draw something related to it?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I think I already answered this question? At some point? But I can’t find it, so in general my take is that I highly doubt Bakugou’s body isn’t built to withstand and not take damage from his own quirk (since his hands are made to hold up with it, I feel like the rest of his body is tailored around his quirk too), but I’m always up for disabled characters and the idea of Bakugou signing is beautiful to me, so I don’t mind the AU one bit! Dunno if I’ll ever draw for it tho, drawing jsl when I don’t know it is hard. I know that from experience.

That said, I do find the fics in which Bakugou becomes deaf because of his quirk a bit hard to believe most of the times? Because in all of them his ears are the only things taking damage for the continuous use of his quirk and I just sit here like, his eyes should be taking damage too. Normal eyes aren’t made to withstand explosions and stun grenades every day all day, so if his ears aren’t biologically made to hold against his quirk his eyes shouldn’t be either. 

Like, I read those fics and I find them real hard to believe because the authors aren’t pushing it hard enough, for me it’s either no damage at all or hoh AND visually impaired Bakugou, boy can’t be only half built to withstand his quirk that’d just be silly haha but that’s probably just me, the AU is Good 👍

Anon said:The Mirio eyes on that last pannel. Everyone needs Mirio eyes. (also don’t even try to convince anyone Kiri doesn’t steal Baku’s sweaters too)

He started doing so once he found himself with no hoodies left - he isn’t the type to just steal people’s clothes, I think, but if Bakugou started doing so first he’d probably find it acceptable to consider all their hoodies fair game hahaha

Anon said:Oh my god I absolutely adore your art so much. Every time you post something I get so excited! Your art is honestly so cute and it never ever fails to cheer me up. If I ever need inspiration or motivation to draw something especially cute, I come to your blog and look through your posts. Your fluffy art makes my heart clench and makes me grin like crazy. I just… I have so many feels about your art. It just makes me so very happy!

Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood thank you!!!!!!!!!! Holy smokes!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so so happy my stuff can make you inspired to draw ;A; aaahhhhhhhhh!!!!! this made me so happy holy he ck ;u;

Anon said:Hey… thanks for all the stuff you do. It’s really great and I just wanted you to know that. Thanks………….❤️

No anon thank you for this ask, oh my g o d ;U; *sob*

Anon said:I don’t know if you readed the fic “communicate with your body” of xx_kuuhaku_xx, but If you haven’t done so, read it please. I think you’d love it

It’s the merman!Kiri one, right? I read it!!! A bit too much smut in it for my tastes, but I did like it a lot!!! ヽ(o♡o)/

Anon said:AHHHHH!!!!!! IM CRYING!!!!! I LOVE YOUR ART SO FUCKING MUCH ITS JUST SO FUCKING GOOD AND THEYRE ALL JUST SO FUCKING CUTE AND FUCK I LOVE ALL OF YOUR KIRISHIMAXBAKUGOU HEADCANONS AND EVERYTHING IS JUST SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU AND YOUR ART AND THIS BLOG SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU A LOT TOO ANON OH MY G O D THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:i just started watching servamp cause i remembered you talked about it before and i like it a lot?? kuro is #relatable and all the voice actors are so good wth 

Anon said:OKAY HI FRAN IM THE SAME SERVAMP ANON AND WTF IM CRYIBG SAKUYA AND HYDE MY SONS im so emotional over the last episode it didnt explain anything im gonna have to start the manga now and the movie and specials dont have subtitles yet help me im dying

ANON IF YOU’RE PICKING UP THE MANGA YOU NEED TO GO BACK TO THE START - the anime messed it all up, there’s a lot of missing things since the beginning!!! The anime is beautiful but the manga is 100% better, I hope you’ll enjoy it!!!!! *O* (…once you get caught up with it you’re free to come yell at me, the current arc is killing my soul)

Anon said:Fran!!! Your last comic!!! About Bakugou with a crush!!!! ITS SERIOUSLY SUPER GREAT no really, I usually see Kirishima as the one portrayed with a giant, blush-when-he-texts-me crush, but Bakugou!!! He’s a teenager too are you telling me the whole heart fluttering thing wouldn’t happen to him?? Ofc it would!!!! (He’d be kinda pissed at first, like “what is this weird feeling”, but I don’t think Bakugou would be exactly averse to it, after he realized his feelings??) Anyway TY FOR CRUSHING BLASTY

YOU ARE!!!! WELCOME!!!!!!! I love smitten Kirishima, but the lack of giddily in love Bakugou in this fandom hurts me a bit - love is a happy feeling!!! Mostly so if you can tell it’s probably required!!! And Kirishima’s super obvious about his feelings so Bakugou being able to tell is highly probable!!!!! And Bakugou can be his grumpy self all he wants, but if he’s in love he’s gonna be happy about it when Kirishima’s sweet to him!!!! That’s how I see it, at least hahaha

Honestly tho that’s my favorite sort of love, the one that makes you unable to hold back a smile and makes your stomach flutter and your heart clench in the good way, I want both Bakugou and Kirishima to feel like that about their relationship~

Anon said:On the comic captioned he’s got a crush I literally squealed it was so cute!!

;O; I’m glad you liked it omfg!!!

Anon said:I wanted you to know that your Kiribaku comics give me life and they always brighten my days! I also have a question if you don’t mind… will we see more of the domestic with kids au? Your Kiribaku dads are so adorable it’s kind of ridiculous. Thank you for all the art you share with us!!!

Thank you for liking it, anon!!!! And maybe! If I feel inspired and find ideas for it, why not! I don’t personally deal with kids often so ideas for that AU don’t come easy haha but maybe!

Anon said:You get so many notes on your artwork… do you like actually read any people’s tags on them? Because I know I have had some e m b a r r a s s i n g tags of me yelling with excitement 😂 I hope you don’t ever read those and just face palm at my stupidity. Haha anyway that’s my way of saying I love your stuff and just yell about it a lot.

………………..I do read all tags tho :O so I definitely read yours too, but whatever they were if it was yelling with excitement they made my day, 100% for sure, you’re the type of person I post my art for, anon!!!

Anon said:tfw even tho he looks kinda ridiculous, bakugou still manages to look good with that hair and outfit

Well, I still find it uncomfortable to look at l m a o but yeah he’d look good in nearly anything, he’s just that pretty ( ⌯◞◟⌯)♡

Anon said:Asdffhjllvdrhbhsd jakugou jatsuki I died oml thank you I’m still laughing and Jakugou looks Fabulous™ in your style and I’m so lame ASDFHJKLL HE LOOKS GOOD AND I’M CRYING LAUGHING BLESS

Anon said:i’M crYING JAKGOU JaTSUKI what beautyyyyyy omfg

GLAD I COULD MAKE YOU TWO LAUGH OMFG HAHAHA

Anon said:your art really catches how good Bakugou looks in those jeans (I bet Kiri really appreciates it too)

*sob* thank you !!!!! (and Kiri appreciates Bakugou however he looks 👀👀👀 he’s smitten)

Anon said:Just a stupid anon here to say I love your art and I hope you have a very lovely week! ^^ (no need to reply~)

Of course I need to reply :O you’re being so sweet, anon, thank you!!!!!!!! I hope you’ll have a perfect week too!!!!!!

Anon said:Hello!As a young poly person who found your blog before I had found love and realized I’m poly, I wanted to thank you. Your bokuroteru helped my feel okay with myself as I realized, and although I’m sad to see it end, I’m glad it’s a happy one! I have the “You polyamorous disaster” panel as my computer background!! Thank you! (also your style makes me happy, all bubbly in the heart and all) Yuuji is one of my fav characters and I love this ship as well!! Just.. THANK YOU SO MUCH

ANON you’re the reason why I draw polyamory oh m y g o d I’m!!!!! so happy the comic could help you along!!!! I wish you the best of luck in your romantic life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *O*

Anon said:FRAN. BAKUGOU and CATS. Omg all of the kitties just love him and he’s like GTFO leave me alone you furry fuckers but they love him and he’s gentle with them and he’s scared to touch them sometimes bc of his explosive sweat makes fire hazards and omg they just attack him and he thinks he’s gonna die bc he loves them too!! Fran, sweetie can you picture this?? Can you picture Kirishima’s reaction?? Like full on red blushy explosion bc omg he’s in love with a dandelion precious ball of rage Fran omg

Oh my god yeah of course I can Bakugou being an animal person is my fave headcanon ever!!!! This is so sweet too!!!!!! Oh my g o ds, thank you so much for this ask aaahhhhhhhh ;A;A;A;A;

Anon said:FRAN. My litERAL WEAKNESS LIKE KRYPTONITE LEVEL WEAKNESS IS BAKU LAUGHING. AND THE SNORTTTT. FFFFFF holy shit did not realize caps lock was on haha. BUT I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. so much!

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bakugou laughing is something real special isn’t it, I so hope we’ll see that happen in canon soon!!! (⸝⸝⍢⸝⸝) ෆ

Anon said:Your OCs are so cute!! ❤️❤️❤️

*SCREAMS* THANK!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:do you ship bak*deku too?

Not romantically nor sexually, no! I only wish them as really really really good friends~

Anon said:Ahh I’m crying because I was the Bakugou laughing anon and I was thinking about his laugh all freaking day too

It’s been four days and I’m still thinking about it so honestly, seriously thank you again, anon!!!

Anon said:Hey, did you see Tanaka in the few latest chapters of HQ? Such a precious lad, look at him go 😍 I swear no one deserves him (expect maybe you)

“except maybe you” are you out to KILL ME ANON OH MY G O D ;A; thank you - but YES he’s being amazing isn’t he!!! He makes me so happy, such a good boy, such a good character, I’m glad he’s a thing that exists in my life ╰(✿´⌣`✿)╯♡

Anon said:hi fran just wanted to tell ya that I used to love your art before BUT THEN i started drawing myself and now I realize the pain and struggling of shading and anatomy and expressions and let me say i appreciate you 100% EVEN MORE now, and if I used to love your art now I freaking ADORE it!! (also fun fact I actually started drawing bc of you, im uh,,, super executive dysfunctional so I could never get around to doing it before but YOUR ART SERIOUSLY INSPIRED ME THANK U DRAWING IS TOUGH BUT FUN)

Thank you???? So much???? Oh my g o d I’m so happy I could somehow help you find the focus to try drawing out! It is a pain, but the more you do it the easier some basic things get and the more fun you’ll have with it, it’s such a tough but rewarding hobby to have! I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as possible, anon!!!!

Anon said:FRAN IS IT WEIRD THAT WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT U I THINK OF U AS A MIXTURE OF BAKU AND KUROO AND KAMI

OMFG WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE EVEN T H O HAHAHA

[kokeggy]

my brain is filled with ouma and i cant stop it

i totally forgot the time man, its almost been 2 months since i played the game and it totally didnt feel like that at all

i still can recall a ton of things fluidly and as for now i dont see a particular reason to replay the game (other than wanting to get to know ouma better) 

but oumas character is just.. so tragic. i cant even begin to explain the depth of his character, it would be pages long and im way too lazy for that. ill always just write mental drafts and let myself feel when it comes to ouma

ill a cut here since its already a bit long rn lmao

and i think ouma is a character who is deeply troubled by his insecurities/possible mental illnesses (such as bpd or servere depression) in a way that these insecurities are his most memorable characteristics. that is absolutely sad and tragic

furthermore since the moment i started to play this game i always thought it was suspicious that ouma claimed he hated liars even tho he was one himself. sure that couldve been one of his lies, but my intention rlly didnt like this idea so i thought he was actually speaking the truth. i realized today that ouma was hinting at shuichi that he hated this persona that he had to create for the sake of this game

but i do agree that i sometimes tend to overthink ouma lmao while is incredibly intelligent, he couldnt have figured everything out, plus his trust issues and paranoia were in the way of looking into every possible situation. yet i somehow believed that he did a lot of stuff while being completely aware of their consequences - but thats not possible. ouma is not a superhuman who can figure out what happens to the world in [insert year]. hes a character with deep flaws which balances his cunning behavior 

to his actual personality, i might seem like the most biased person in the world but i truly believe that ouma didnt want to harm anyone. its just that the killing game... happened lol

as far as i can self-insert, i do believe if i happen to be in a killing game i would be quite similar about it. minus the creating a fake persona thing for me its absolutely impossible to trust 15 people whom i just met that they wouldnt kill me under stress. you know, if you activate the right buttons on someone, they can work how you want them to. and this is what feared ouma (rightly so)

anyways i take the anthologies as canon material since theyre approved and licensed by spike chunsoft, and we obviously see that ouma is nowhere near as antagonistic as he was in the game. although, i only have read the first anthology (also while we are at it, i cant wait to buy the thjree v3 anthologies even without knowing japanese, lulz)

but we also see his character actually getting darker and darker with each chapter, with chapter 4 probably taking the point. esp on when it ended. at first i was kind of conflicted about his oversentimal reaction towards gonta being executed, because that felt just as fake as his overly evil presentation afterwards. altho after some time thinking abt this, i came to the conclusion that he just leaked a little bit of his juicy true self(tm), realized that what he meant was actually genuine and then proceed to vent his emotions in making him seem like the most villainous person u ever met. because i think one of the reasons ouma acted out like is because he believed he was at fault for gontas death. so instead of trying to sweet talk yourself, he just took the oppurtunity to make him the least likeable person. cuz who would ever want to like someone who jokes about genuinely being concered about someone dying? yeah no one dude

also i think ouma is ironically a bit well-mannered (yeah guis im not joking here). ..  .if we ignore all his stupid pranks.. so you see, whenever i got rejected after dates with ouma in salmon mode.. it went like this for example “eeh, wow you are going to the libary with me and now you want to leave? that hella rude man, why am i wasting my time like this” or “wow you really must think highly of yourself if you think you are worth changing for, how arrogant”  which looks like he knows what is appropriate and what not

i remember what he said that and i suddenly went like “shit i cant believe im hearing this from you man” which was kinda funny as a side note btw

anyways, to his motive video. oh shit, his motive video . . . even without having known how messed up the translation was, that damaged me.-.. i mean i always thought that ouma exaggerated the size of his organization, at some poiint i just thought that his entire organization was a lie and his tru talent was the ultimate liar. which obsly wasnt the case lmao 

but his motive video.. just wanting to prank ppl for laughs and entertainment. its so light hearted compared to what he claimed it to be that it hurts another thing that i think is worth noting is that DICE was his motive video, not his family. DICE, who is like family. but not his actual family. what does that mean? does that mean that his actual family wasnt like family to ouma? i sure as hell thought so and i still do 

a different thing is that ouma said that nobody would care about him dying and that his organization would be better off without him, plus that it seems that monokuma said that ouma knows what happened to DICE in the motive video which leads me to.. uhh.. what if ouma did something he absolutely regretted doing (since it caused DICE trouble?) - but im not entire set on that theory

its also sad that he constantly had to hint about hiimself instead of just talking abt it to shuichi. like, he wanted shuichi to help him or actually even hinder him at carrying out his plan, he low key hoped for it because shuichi is a detective which showed to be shrewd enough to be able to make proper deductoins in class trials, furthermore he isnt a dick towards ouma and actually respects him in a way. something that ouma most likely didnt calculate

which mades the statement that shuichi said in the end of chapter 4 even more painful. shuichi was the only person that ouma kind of trusted and relied on. and prob the only one he wanted to show his true self to, that very person told him hes 5 ever alone with no friends at all. that hes a pathetic little brat who should start to view the world differently (def not what shuichi said 1:1 but.. yeah idk my own interpretation) 

im pretty sure that hurt ouma a lot 

hnnng, i truly wished for ouma to be one of the survivors. altho i figured that hes gonna plot something absolutely mind blowing in chapter 5, i seriously couldnt believe that he was actually dead... well, not until the closing argument. as soon as there were the words “closing argument” all over my screen i began to cry like an idiot. i couldnt even read properly man, thats just how blurry my vision was from all the tears

in other hand: i was (and still am lol) extremely attached to ouma and his death was very unsatisfying, since he died quite heroic but nobody considered him so. also he never made up with these ppl. also fuck kodaka

[420710ge-blog]

my first entry

all of these entries will be more or less stream of consciousness

Im watching queer eye. SO I felt like writing a blog and starting a blog bc im emotional and severely depressed. ( if the fab 5 could re vamp me and my life omg)

I'm trying to grasp this concept that i am 28 years old

and i STILL have no idea who the fuck I am or what the fuck am i gonna do.

what i do know is I am a single. I am straight-ish haha (no one is straight these days eff lables and gender norms) I live in a basement. The neighborhood I live in isnt the best in my opinion for me. I know I enjoy cities and hustle and bustle and noise. this area is not where i want to spend a long period of time in. I have my drivers license but dont have a car. I'm on a fixed income. I am very very poor. I've been struggling with money my whole life. My mother was struggling with money and work my whole childhood ive come to learn. i feel like my mom maybe didn't give me all the right tools i needed to make it in this world.

I'm not a good cook, but i enjoy cooking and wish I was good. I eat very unhealthy. I dont know how to shop for groceries or clothes. i eat fast food,microwaves meals and snacks, cheese and crackers, cereal, deli sandwhiches, pb & j, fruit snacks, ice tea, juice and water. (thats basically it unless i go out to eat which is bad bc i have no money for it.)

i cannot grasp the concept of money i dont know how to budget or balance a check book or keep track of spending. i need to put money a side and save and i just cant seem to do it. The money is always being used. i feel like im always in debt or owing money that i never get in front of this wave to start earning actual income every dollar i make is always spoken for and the $1 to 80 dollars that i actually get left over is for cleaning supplies hair products medication condoms tampons pads basically things i need. and im honest in saying i do spend money on food and great craft beer bc its my way of treating myself for actually making a payment or actually getting out of bed, for going hungry for a few days or for having a good mental health day.

My hobbies include filling out job applications, fighting with doctors and secretaries, bill collectors debt collect companies and creditors, watching youtube videos, vloggers and youtubers on my phone and my freinds old old laptop the basement has pretty difficult internet connection and it is freezing cold but other than that its nice it works its a place to sleep and shelter, other hobbies are watching movies and tv, and lastly SLEEP. i sleep 10-14 hours most days or i go 2 days without sleep. i am always over sleeping or i just cant turn my brain and stress and anxiety off just to shut my eyes and sleep. I almost never talk with friends or see other people or go out and hang with friends. the only times i do go out is if someone offers to pay for me or otherwise i cant.

i am addicted to social media. i cant go for more than 15 seconds without checking instrgram or snap chat or youtube or facebook. i can easily spend 11 hours going back and forth between those 4 sites. it is very bad for my mental health and its stunted my success bc i cant help but compare myself. and its vicious negative cycle that i cant seem to break.

i have to walk or use uber or lyft or public transit to get around which gets very expensive over time. walking and being out waiting for the bus or train is very triggering for my mental health. People who are fortunate to have the luxury to own or lease a car please realize the people who cannot afford a car or cannot drive for whatever reason are not second class citizens. People and humans are very nasty and rude and more terrible than youd imagine. having to walk everywhere and be in with the public as much as i have turns you into a cynical abrasive aggresive hateful and rageful person. for example a few weeks ago a car turned on the street that i was walking on and the walk sign was lit and he had a yellow switching to a red, her turned quickly to beat the light that he didnt see me or the walk sign and was inches away from me so i ran after his car and punched the shit out of the passenger window. i spazed out like that bc i had a week of walking in the freezing cold (and living in a super cold place) being rained on and splashed by the puddles being ran thru by cars, teenagers on busses making fun of me throwing things at me, people in cars yelling shit at me and the others standing at a bus bc we dont have a car and we have to wait in the cold assuming that we were all bums or homeless.

I am not happy or passionate about things i use to be obsessed with. I grew up loving comedy. stand up sketch improv.

i use to perform. i would go see it all the time it meant the world to me it is what i wanted t0 do with my life.

but now I dont and i think its was stupid. and a waste of time. same with college it was a waste of time and money to get a degree in something i have no passion about anymore. and a degree in something in which there are no jobs for you.it was terrible decision i made. one of the billions of terrible decisions i ahve made in my life

I have zero self confidence and i barely care what my appearance looks like anymore. i glance in mirrors but never really look at myself. I dont look people in the eyes anymore. I think so hard about what i am saying for i say that it comes out more often that not weird or incorrect bc i am so worried about what others are thinking about me so then that leads to me getting made fun of for how i talk or how i say things. I am always the butt of my friends jokes im always being poked fun at or pranked or messed with.

I dress like 15 year old skate kid. i have nothing that is appropriate for like an office or an audition  or job interview or business meeting or family event or a formal event or cocktail party. i dont know how to dress for my age or for my gender. 

I am super lazy and messy but i have been working on it.

i use cannabis recreationally not everyday but definitely multiple times a week. when i can afford it. it helps clear my head and use the same way a person uses a nice glass of wine at the end of a long day. i dont think its wrong or inhibiting me as a person. sometimes it even helps with motivation and helps get me out of a depressive funk.

I am severely depressed and have an anxiety disorder.

I over think about everything. i make plans and lists for every scenario that i am going to encounter on a daily basis its almost obsessive. my train of thought before entering a conversation with anyone is “do not say anything weird dont look at them for to long, dont fidget, omg what are they thining about when they are looking at me, am i ugly and i coming off as weird or immature or nervous.” 

I lost alot of very important people in my life bc of death or from people and friends and family just cutting me off and people to live the rest of their lives without me. it makes me judge and hate everyone.

I am constantly worried that i am gonna become homeless live on the streets and become a junkie. I actually think about this so so so much. i actually shocked from what i have been thru that i havent become a junkie yet.

I dont want what most white women in their late twenties want and crave. i dont relate or most girls in my age range. its hard for me to find things in common with my peers.

I dont want to buy or own a house. renting forever is fine by me

I do want to buy and own a car preferably a truck but a small suv could work too.

I dont want a family. I dont want children my own or adoptive. I dont want to live in the suburbs or in a neighborhood with tons or old people and families.

i dont want marriage i think its problematic and dumb thing to subject yourself to.

i enjoy soccer and skateboarding and true crime movies and tv shows and horror movies and tv shows.i like some funny things but its selective. i love the sims.

i want to try out living in other states in the us and maybe even try living in the uk.

if i was rich i would want 2 small apartments in central city locations on both coasts of the us one on one and one on the other. and ill use my money to travel. i am craving to travel so badly its all i have been thinking about lately. but again no funds

i want to meet someone who just totally sweeps me off my feet. somone who knows how to be a real man and real boyfriend im tired iof these boys i need a guy who calls me out on my bs, gives constructive criticism, incredibly supportive and KIND. i want our respectfulness to be at an 100%. i want to feel worshipped and adored. i want them to be succesful and be able to bring me up and boost me forward. great listener. not sleepy or annoyed very easily. insane dark weird goofy sense of humor. id love them to be outgoing and be able to command a room and be comfortable around people new and old. great sex and adventures. currently im giving my ex a chance and its prolly a terrible idea.

i want a makeover i want to learn how to dress myself correctly and figure what my style is, make money and keep money, how to cook, how to skateboard, how to surf, how to take care of my skin and my hair. I want to learn how to work out where i wont make my current ailments and injuries and medical issues flare up and put me out of business for few days. id like to have toned arms back shoulders and legs and to not be winded dont everyday tasks.

if i had to make a dream cocktail. and the final result would be the new me i would throw in the blender: confidence of a drag queen, the wit and sharp tongue of joan rivers, the comedic timing of sean hayes, riley reids sex skills, the intelligence and maturity of michelle obama, pinks hair and singing skills, kat dennings body and dgaf attitude. that would be the perfect me in my eyes.

I want to make everyone proud of me. and I want to be proud of myself. 

idk what this was but its on the internet

-GE

[tumblunni]

Let’s ramble a bit more about Changeling Sim ideas! This time a bit about the awkward lil royal family and their interlocking relationships~!

Kiddo

It our deuteroganist! Hello! The protagonist’s cute little daughter is actually the next heir to the faerie throne, sent to be raised by her as a challenge to prove that the human world has good in it and is worth saving. And also secretly because Xana Mega is pretty awkward and cute under her scary facade, and was worried she was too distant to make a good mother to her child. In the golden ending you can help patch up their relationship, even though Jackie is still the one Kiddo knows as her true mother, and her biological parent becomes more like the family’s aunt. Kiddo is technically half human, but it’s not because Xana Mega married a human or anything. Fairies don’t follow biological genetics, theyre grown from giant flowers after all! Xana created Kiddo entirely by herself, and she acquired her human side solely from being given to Jackie to raise. Baby fae are more metaphysically squishy than their older counterparts, the classic changeling ploy is simply to replace a human child with a fae baby and it’ll naturally shift into the shape of the human. For a time they’ll be just that- a fairy wearing a disguise. But if they don’t know theyre not human, they’ll grow into what they’re taught and completely transform into a real mortal around puberty. Changelings do tend to retain a heightened sense to the supernatural and occasionally a few odd abilities, but generally they’ll never return to what they once were. Traditionally nobody had a choice in this whole matter, it was a very sketchy and horrid practise of ancient fae who didnt even respect humans as real sentient people. But in this case Kiddo wasn’t replacing an existing human, and she’s being raised knowing of her origins. Eventually she’ll face the question of whether she wants to stay or return to being a fairy, but it’ll be 100% her own choice. Similarly, it’s her own choice whether she wants to take the throne or if she finds a different career choice during her adventures in this other world. Many endings for you, the player!

Xana Mega

The current queen of Mag Mell, an ominous towering figure who rules with strict efficiency and commands the current anti-human war. Everyone’s pretty damn scared of her, and she lives a very lonely life disconnected from her own people. Despite her frightening persona and dedication to all things rational, she’s called for this mysterious truce for the next 18 years, and is permitting certain humans to enter our realm?? Truly the queen works in mysterious ways... but is she going soft...? Deep down she’s really a kind person who feels she has to put up this front deliberately in order to retain order. Its half that and half not really knowing how to function well socially, since she’s been groomed to be a ruler from a young age and had to live with a distant father. Because she was scared she’d repeat his mistakes, she gave her child to somebody else... but ultimately has she just become the same absent parent? It doesnt matter, because at least the kid will have a good mother, even if it isn’t her. But the decision does haunt her, and she’s both excited and terrified of the day she’ll see the child again on her 18th birthday and she won’t recognise her. But hopefully (if the player does well) she’ll be able to see that Kiddo has grown up into a wonderful young woman and had a fullfilling life that makes it all worthwhile ^_^ Ultimately if you’d ever get to know the real Xana beneath the royal role, she’s a slightly adorable awkward dork with a weary sadness yet a childish joy for experiencing new things. When you’d given up hope on this stuff, its hard to restrain yourself! Its possible to get a super secret route where Jackie romances Xana and Kiddo acquires DOUBLEMUMS~! And they’re super cute going out together on Real Authentic Human World Dates while Xana flails happily like this small hotdog stand is disneyland. Who’da thought that after the war ended, the old queen would become a human world weeaboo as soon as she set foot in our dimension? ^_^

Alberich

Xana’s father and previous ruler. Known as the Good King, he was responsible for starting the grand reforms of society that Xana continues nowadays. If peace is ever achieved between humans and fae, he was the one who sewed the first seed even if he didn’t live to see it sprout. Despite his success as a ruler, he was pretty flawed as a father, and passed that on to his daughter. He couldn’t completely escape the trappings of ancient fairy tradition, and his daughter was mostly raised by maids and tutors while he remained just this distant silent figure she could never reach no matter how hard she tried. She never even knew very much about him since he died when she was young. The young queen was just left with a million different opinions everybody else had on him, coalescing into an abstract cluster of an unknowable, empty pillar of ideal regal emotionlessness. .....Of course, the real Alberich was just as far from this as she is! To those who personally knew him, he was a complete softhearted goofball whose overidealistic ramblings would surely doom the whole country. And isn’t that just why he’s so loveable? Ultimately, his failure as a father was just that... a failure. Xana tried to justify it as if he’d made the right decision to be distant, and she should become the same sort of person, and take it further to become distant to even her own citizens. But Alberich never pretended his decision was the right one, he was a good man who despite his best efforts didn’t know how to raise a child. He had no-one to learn from, and his fear of messing up is what caused him to flee from the concept of parenthood entirely. He thought that hiring the best educators and minders would help compensate for the ways he was lacking as a dad, never knowing that all his daughter wanted was the one thing he could give- love. :( In the end he perished sadly to a simple disease that could have been cured if the country’s infrastructure wasn’t so ravaged by the war with the humans. His decision to prioritize the remaining money towards protecting the citizens was what caused him to waste away from a simple fever. While a certain someone raced against the clock to fetch the medicine on foot, arriving just late enough to miss the chance to hold his hand as he passed away...

Rafferty

A simple court jester who was promoted to the king’s butler and eventually promoted/demoted (?) to the finance minister after the new queen took the throne. Why is he even in the royal family section...? He’s always been sort of a stuffy grumpy neat freak, but he used to be a symbol of fun amoungst the court once. Now he’s just become bitter and hateful, leading the anti-human sentiment and questioning the country’s leadership at every turn. He’s globally hated by all of his coworkers and suspected of being corrupt- he was the major scapegoat for the culprit in the king’s death, and never managed to shake the stigma. He’s only really here and has any sort of power because the king’s will secured his position for the foreseeable future. He’s also hated because (GASP!) he’s a disgusting former human turned fairy! In his former life he was a homeless peasant in the 1800s that Alberich brought home one day and hired as a servant. Everyone humoured the king with his new pet, but it started to get ridiculous when he gave the thing legal rights and a career! It’s tradition to just consider a fairy a fairy when they become one, and forget about whoever they were in their past life, but gossipping housewives like to ignore this rule and hold it against him anyway. Its also kinda why Rafferty has such a personal hate of humans, he used to be one and he’s seen nothing but the worst side of them... His role in the current story is really just to be a small obstacle in plotlines, and a possible befriendable character. I’m an optimistic person so I like stories of cliche ‘evil vizier’ type guys having more complex motives and being able to be redeemed in the end. In the end you can discover that the real secret behind him and the king was that they were actually dating, and Rafferty really was loyal to the kingdom all along. And he endured all this hate for so long because he doesn’t want to tarnish Alberich’s memory by letting people know about their affair. Xana is actually his biological daughter from when he was human, making him Kiddo’s grandpa. Neither of them knew this fact though, and in fact Xana was one of the people who hated him the most. She just knew him as her funny friend who kept her company when she was lonely as a child, one of her father’s servants who seemed to care about her more than the rest. So she took it as a personal betrayal when he was suspected of killing the king, and kept believing it well into her adult years. Its gonna be a messy reunion for them when the misunderstanding is all sorted out, but a happy one too, hopefully...

+++

A slightly unrelated side note but I ideally wanna make a full cast of court employees and lesser nobility! At the moment all I have is Rafferty, unnamed scribe dad and kiiiinda a cupid type figure I dont know much about yet? I dunno, I just got that concept in my brain while I was thinking about Raffles and Ritchi’s past back when he was king. I imagined maybe Rafferty did have at least one friend amoung the royal court who knew about his relationship with the king and supported them. And it sorta came together in my brain as some sort of champion of love and justice, and maybe designed around a traditional valentine’s day fairy cliche. But like a world weary chain smoker one? BUT still one that really is a kind loving figure, not a dark subversion or anything. I just feel like they’re someone worn down by seeing injustice in the world, and questioning other people’s definitions of love that’re being forced upon them. Someone who was doubting this country... I get the feeling they’ve left the plot by the time we get to the present, but I don’t know if they died or maybe they just left the country after the king died and they’d lost their last hope the place could change. But I do generally think maybe everyone who was in the fairy court back when Rafferty was jester is now dead and/or gone, he was the youngest member then and he’s the oldest one now. And he was hated by all his former friends, they died, and now he’s left being hated by all new people... But yeah I just have this good image of some broken but kind person finding a tiny bit of happiness realizing grumpy old rafferty found love, and reassuring him that they dont hold the same stupid homophobic ‘no dating humans’ views that everyone else is pushing. A brief bit of calm before the storm, making it even sadder that cupid just wasnt strong enough to keep trying after that hope died, and ran out even on rafferty, their last friend... I guess... a Nanu cupid?