#its funny cause its what my mom had cravings for when carrying me

[lemon-pilled]

i think its really funny that even though most other foods taste like weird liquidy medicine (since im sick as hell), tomatoes still consistently taste the same

[flamehairedwritings]

Happiest Season Of All

Characters: Chief Jim Hopper x Female Reader

Rating: M, 18+ ONLY

A/N: Happy Holidays! Phew, it’s been a while. Here is a kind of drabble, and also kind of a sequel to Pain In My Heart? Set the year before S1, there’s no mentions of family, no use of Y/N, and it’s just a gentle, kind of angsty little story.

This story contains broken hearts, swearing, alcohol and embarrassment.

I hope you enjoy and have a lovely week!

Summary: Broken up with just before Christmas? Fantastic. The only thing that can help is returning to your home town, old friends... and an old love.

Masterlist

Please don’t copy, steal or repost my work; credit does not count.

—

23rd December 1982

‘... There'll be parties for hosting, marshmallows for toasting, and carolling out in the snow...’

You quietly hum along absent-mindedly to the cassette someone’s playing from a boombox, gazing out of the window. Usually, you’d have been annoyed but, hey, it’s the holidays.

Besides, you haven’t had much of a chance to get into the festive spirit or mood recently. With the classic Christmas song playing, the train rumbling gently and the twinkling lights in the darkness slowly growing brighter, you’re finally starting to feel it. Inhaling a breath, you lean your temple against the cold glass, your fingers lacing together in your lap as you gaze at the lights.

Hawkins, Indiana. Your hometown.

It’s been a few years since you were here for longer than a weekend but, oh, boy, this year you just need to be here. You’re retreating, you’re not too proud to admit, coming home to lick your wounds and be surrounded by all things familiar, cosy and boring.

You almost laugh. You’d left this place because it was so damn boring and now here you are, craving it. If teenage you could see you now. She’d be giving ‘that’ look which you’re told you still give to this day. 

Ah, well. Time’s a bitch, baby.

The train slows as it pulls into the station and you start to gather your things while a few others around you stand and pull their bags down from the overhead racks. You pull your suitcases down as the train comes to a stop, all three of them, with their different colours and patterns. Pulling on your scarf, coat and rucksack, you haul the suitcases down the aisle as best as you can single-file, muttering under your breath as they catch every few steps against chairs.

The wheels clatter onto the concrete of the cold platform when you step down, one suitcase twisting onto its front and tangling with the others as it nearly falls from your hand. Muttering under your breath again, you right it and continue walking down the platform, two small groups of people reuniting having to part for you. Making eye contact with a grateful smile, you’re relieved you don’t recognise any of them; you’re really not in the mood for your own reunion right now.

“There she is!”

Well, just the one.

A smile spreads across your face as Karen Wheeler trots down the platform in her heeled boots, grinning and her arms open wide. The suitcases drop from your hands as you throw your arms around one another, rocking from side to side slightly.

“Oooh, hello, sweetheart,” Karen murmurs, pressing a big, wet kiss to your cheek.

“Hey, Karrie.”

Your smile lingers, and it’s the first genuine one you’ve had in a while. Karen has worn the same perfume since high school and it puts you at ease instantly. God, you just love her. You talk on the phone every other week and have done since you moved out of Hawkins; she’s been the most consistent friend in your life and you love her with all your damn heart.

“C’mon, give me those, let’s get out of here, it’s freezing...” Pulling back, she takes two of the suitcases from you before you can protest and starts striding down the platform.

You have to do a quick little jog to catch up with her, marvelling, not for the first or even fortieth time, how she can go so quickly in those heels. It’s a short walk to the exit, made shorter by Karen’s pace, and she’s parked right outside. Wonderful. Opening the trunk, you both bundle your suitcases in, tossing your rucksack on top of it, and then do a speedy little walk to the doors, yanking them open.

“Oof, coldest winter we’ve had in years,” Karen shivers dramatically in her seat as she rubs her gloved hands together before buckling her seatbelt.

Buckling your own as she eases out onto the road, you blow out a breath. “Yeah, definitely feels that way.”

“So, how was the journey?”

“Oh, the usual, long but fine. It was a lot emptier than I expected.”

“Well, we keep hearing there’s gonna be a blizzard, so some folks have come home a little earlier.”

“Well, that’s smart.”

“Yeah. Means I keep bumping into people at the store that I wish I could avoid, though, and on the street.” She snorts as she glances at you. “Ugh, I bumped into Peggy Dawnes the other day, remember her? She would not stop talking about her perfect life on her perfect farm with her perfect husband and her perfect kids and her perfect lawn. Well, there were ten bottles of wine in her cart and I know for a fact her mother doesn’t drink and her perfect husband only likes neat whisky, so, there.”

“Oh.”

You cringe internally at your short reply, but you really can’t think of what else to say. Karen glances at you again, pausing. You look over at her and find the sympathy you’ve only been able to hear during the last few weeks. She reaches over and pats your knee gently before returning her hand to the wheel.

“Oh, sweetheart... How are you doing?”

You release a breath, raising your eyebrows slightly. “Better for being here, already. But, y’know...”

She gives you a sympathetic smile as she pats your knee again. “Don’t worry, toots, like I said you can stay as long as you want, it’s no trouble at all.”

You return her smile, relieved that you find you don’t have to force it. “Thank you.”

“No worries.” Her smile widens as she tilts her head. "The kids are looking forward to having you with us, you know how much they love you. It’ll do us all some good.”

You don’t ask about Ted because you know not to.

“I can’t wait to see them, too. How have they been?”

You gaze out of the windshield as she tells you how Nancy and Mike are doing at school and how many words Holly can say now, your eyes flitting from house to house. Decorations are out in full force, as they should be, they’ve probably been up since the 1st of the month, and it makes you smile to see them, remembering how you and Karen would go from house to house when you were younger and rate them out of 10 candy canes.

Ah, the simple life.

She’s still chatting about Mike and his friends when she turns down onto their long drive. It’s lined with various Christmas lawn ornaments, most lit up. Lights line the inside of some of the many windows of the house, too, making it look gorgeous and cosy and warm. A curtain is yanked back suddenly and Mike’s face appears, grinning. He waves frantically and you smile instantly, waving back with your eyebrows raised.

My favourite, funny little kid.

He’s already at the wide open door when Karen parks, still grinning. Unbuckling your seatbelt, you open the door and step out only to have him nearly slam into you before you can straighten, hugging you tightly.

“You’re here!”

You laugh, wrapping your arms around him just as fiercely. “Hey, buddy. You okay?”

“Yeah. C’mon, I wanna show you this book I got...” He’s already out of your arms and waving you towards the door, which Karen is muttering about the heat being let out of.

Chuckling to yourself, you help her with your suitcases and rucksack, feeling vastly different to how you did ten minutes ago; they never fail to raise your spirits. Nancy greets you as you enter, smiling widely and also ready for a hug. You give it gladly and just as fiercely as you had with Mike, asking her how she is. She shrugs and just says “Fine,” with a smile as you remove your shoes and coat, and you marvel at how she’d once been as talkative as Mike when she was younger. You hear the boy himself calling from the basement, telling you he can’t currently find the book but it’s around here someone and you’re gonna love it! You follow Karen up the stairs to the guest room with a wide smile, calling back your thanks to him.

Passing walls lined with family photographs, it’s a short walk down the hall to the room you’ll be staying in for... well, who knows. Karen opens the door with a trilled, “Ta-da!” and you laugh as you take in the sight before you. It’s completely decked out in Christmas decorations; tinsel on every bit of furniture, snow-globes on the window sill, a polar bear stuffed toy on the bed, fairy-lights around the headboard. You’d roll your eyes at the excessiveness of it if it wasn’t so damn sweet.

“Wow, it’s like Santa’s Grotto in here...”

“Eh, close enough, I wanted fake snow on the ground but Ted vetoed that idea pretty quick.”

You snort, hauling the suitcase you’re carrying onto the bench at the end of the bed and dropping your rucksack onto it before sitting on the bed, your fingers running over the blanket Karen’s mother had crocheted. Nancy lingers in the doorway, and after leaning your other suitcases against a chest of drawers, Karen turns to her, making a shooing gesture.

“All right, go on, Nance, us hot young things need to get ready.”

“Ugh, Mom...” Nancy just about manages to stop herself from rolling her eyes as she turns away and heads back down the hall while you stare at Karen.

“Uh... Ready for what? Bed?”

“No,” Karen laughs, and you suddenly notice she’s going through your suitcase on the bench, rifling through and pulling various items out. “We’re going out, to the bar.”

“The bar?”

“Yes, the bar.”

You’re still staring at her. “Where everyone we know goes?”

Karen shrugs, looking at you like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Yeah, ‘cause it’s still the only good bar in Hawkins.”

“I thought you wanted to avoid everyone.”

“Eh, yeah, but... y’know, only good bar in Hawkins. And...” Oh, no, she’s looking sheepish, her head bowing slightly as she glances from you to some of your clothes she’s pulled out. “... Uh, we’re kinda having a party here tomorrow, anyway, so...”

“What?”

Her eyebrows shoot up, her hands raising. “It just kinda happened. It’s been years since we’ve had one and Ted and I were talking about it and then I saw Mary-Lou at Mike’s school and I just happened to mention it and she got so excited and then I got excited and it just, it suddenly happened.”

Your lips press together as you exhale a short breath. “Well, they were fun...”

“Yeah, they were, weren’t they?” Karen sits beside you with a nostalgic sigh, shaking her head. “We had some of the best times of our lives at ‘em.”

“Yeah... I remember the one after you gave birth to Nancy, I thought I was gonna have to take you to the hospital.”

“Ha! Thank God my Mom came over to look after her. What about the one where you set fire to the tree?”

“Oh, please don’t remind me, and that wasn’t actually my fault, you know,”

“Ha, yeah, sure, that was great...”

You both sigh together, a smile finding its way onto your lips at all the memories that come flooding back. They had been fun. You hadn’t been able to attend every one over the years but the ones you had had been so great they’d almost made you want to stay in Hawkins. Maybe... Maybe a return to a beloved tradition is exactly what you need.

Turning your head to her, you arch an eyebrow. “You didn’t think to tell me it was happening, though?”

Karen shrugs as she smiles. “I didn’t want you to talk yourself out of enjoying it before it had even happened. Same as tonight.”

“Oh, Karrie...” You huff out a breath. “... You know me too well, it’s so annoying. Ugh, I was so looking forward to just curling up on the couch, drinking and watching some of the classics.”

“I know.” She pats your knee, nudging her shoulder against yours. “And we’re gonna do that the day after Christmas, and every day that you want to while you’re here. But tonight, we’re gonna get fancy and go out and get a little bit drunk. It’s Christmas, c’moooon.”

You just can’t help but smile. “All right. All right! Fine. How long have I got?”

“An hour.”

 “What—”

She’s already on her feet, pointing at you as she heads to the door. “Take a shower while I cook us and the kids something up, and then we’ll get ready. okay?”

You know you have absolutely no choice in the matter. “Okay, fine.”

 “Great!” she beams, reaching for the door handle to close it behind herself. She pauses, though, resting her weight on one foot as she clears her throat. “Oh, and uh... he’s probably gonna be there.”

You don’t have to ask who she’s referring to.

Staring at her, you manage to keep your features expressionless. “Oh. Really?”

“Yeah.” She’s watching you carefully, teeth grazing over her lower lip. “He is nearly every night, apparently, according to Marian.”

Raising your eyebrows slightly, you smile. “Well... maybe he won’t be.”

“Yeah, maybe he won’t be...” She’s still watching you, a gentle smile pulling at her lips. “Shower, toots.”

“Okay, okay...” You wave your hand as she pulls the door closed, hearing her move down the hallway.

The moment you hear her heading down the stairs, you release a long breath, lying back on the bed.

Oh, shit... 

Well.

You stare at the ceiling as the realisation suddenly dawns on you.

I might see Jim Hopper tonight.

James Hopper. Jim. Hopper. Hop. Chief, also now, not that you’ve ever been around to call him that.

You’d been friends since you were kids, best friends actually, at one point closer than you and Karen had been, and then feelings had developed when you'd become teenagers and then you’d taken the leap and had started dating and then...

You’d broken up.

And you’d been the one to initiate it.

And you’d done that because, well... It was because of a lot of little things. Mainly, though, you hadn’t known what route you wanted to take, college or work, you hadn’t even known what you wanted to do, but you knew you wanted to get out of Hawkins. And Hop... hadn’t known what the hell he wanted to do either, but he hadn’t even thought about it. He’d spoken once or twice about joining the military, or just starting a job, too. College hadn’t even crossed his mind. The conversation had come up and, well, it hadn’t ended well. 

In fact, when it ended, that has been the last time you’ve spoken to him. As you’ve returned home over the years you’ve heard he did join the military, fought in Vietnam, came home, married, and lived in New York the same time you had. You’d been heartbroken to hear from Karen that his daughter had died, and he’d divorced and moved back home.

Now, he’s Chief of Hawkins Police and, well, you’d love to avoid seeing him at all costs. There can come a time when, having not seen someone in decades, you can’t even have a casual conversation because all both parties are doing is screaming in their heads.

Well. Like you’d said yourself. He might not be there.

Hey, as Chief of Police this is probably a very busy time of year and he’ll be off doing something.

It’s gonna be fine.

Absolutely fine.

After showering, you throw on some clean, comfy clothes and head downstairs to eat with Karen and the kids.

Holly sits at the table in her highchair, silent as ever, well, being two years old she only knows a handful of words, but she just stares at you as she has done since she was a baby. Mike talks non-stop about school and his friends while Nancy chimes in every now and then to talk about her own friends, saying names of people in her class that you take a moment or two to remember, and to mutter insults at him while he mutters them back.

Karen half-heartedly tells them to stop in between telling you what she might wear, and you somehow manage to keep up with all conversations. Frankly, it’s also quite nice after being surrounded by mostly silence for the last few weeks.

Whipping your plate away from you seconds after you finish, Karen is up and striding to the kitchen, calling over her shoulder.

“C’mon! Let’s get sexy!”

Your lips twitch as Mike and Nancy groan, the only thing they can agree on right now being that their Mom is a complete and utter embarrassment.

She practically shoves you up the stairs, trying to get you to move faster, and from then on the next 30 minutes feels like a whirlwind. She tries on six outfits before settling on her usual favourite, and changes in your room while you rifle through what you’ve brought. Luckily, even though you can’t really remember packing, you’ve brought some of your own favourites, and, after scrambling to find some shoes to go with them, she helps you decide on an old classic.

Gazing at you, her hands on her hips, she beams with delight.

“Well, look at you, huh! Fancy lady!”

You give a twirl as she whoops, and then her arm is looping through yours and she’s practically dragging you towards the door.

“Bye, guys, we’ll be back late!” she calls out, though no one answers, too busy doing their own thing. 

You haven’t seen any sign of Ted and, once again, you know not to ask.

“Late? How late is late?” you ask with an arched eyebrow as she hurries you down the stairs.

“Oh, come on, not that late, we’re not gonna get wasted, we’re not teenagers anymore.”

—

“... God, I hate it...”

The stall door slams against the cubicle wall as you pull it open a little more forcefully than you had intended. Holding it for a moment, you exhale a short breath before moving towards the sinks, only swaying a little. Washing your hands, you glance up at Karen, watching her try to reapply her lipstick as neatly as possible.

“And did you hear Julian is engaged? And Andrea has a new boyfriend? Is it me or is everybody getting into a relationship?”

She snorts, rubbing her lips together. “It’s that time of year, folks hate being lonely at Christmas.”

You scoff, turning the tap off and drying your hands. “Just sleep with people, then, doesn’t mean you have to get into a relationship and hog someone all to yourself.”

She laughs, slipping her lipstick back into her bag before turning to you, a hand on her hip. “Oh, babe... C’mon, let’s find you someone to have meaningless sex with it.”

“Okay.”

The bar has been heaving from the moment you’d arrived. It usually is, but tonight the place is rammed, perhaps because of the time of year, but maybe more because, it turns out, there’s an offer on drinks, it being the holiday season and all, and happy hour has lasted more than one hour. More than two. It’s nearing three now.

Each sip has helped you relax, even as Karen gasps and points out old high school classmates, filling you in on every detail of their lives she’s learned. So far, incredibly gladly, she’s not pointed out a certain Chief.

Returning to your table, which a guy you don’t recognise has been guarding for you, as in literally guarding, he has his hands behind his back and is saying, “Nah, move along, this ain’t free...” to anyone who looks like they’re going to swoop in. At spotting you both, he grins and holds his arms out wide, gesturing at the table.

“All free for you, m’ladies.”

You’re unable to stop a smile because there’s something so weirdly charming about this absolute goofball of a man. He takes a seat beside Karen as you sit, the two of them having been exchanging small talk that verged on flirting. Heck, it was flirting. Sipping from your drink as you watch them, you feel a small, familiar twist in your stomach.

Karen is more like her teenage self when she’s with you, but when you see her with Ted, no longer Teddy as he had been in high school, and the kids, she’s Karen the mom, like she’s caged her personality in and doesn’t quite know how to bring the two parts of herself together. When she’d come to visit you once last year, you’d gone out to a bar and you’d watched her flirt with a couple of the men there. You’d thought it was harmless at first, just a bit of fun for her, she’s a charismatic lady, but then something had changed and, as a guy had held her hand, stroking it, and she hadn’t pulled away, you’d felt a twist in your stomach.

She’s gonna have an affair one day.

The thought had come to you so suddenly and so sharply that you’d shoved it away with all your might, horrified with yourself. No, Karen wouldn’t do that... Would she? Since then, you’d become more and more unsure. You’ve stopped asking about Ted when you talk because she’d just sigh heavily and spend the next ten minutes pointing out every flaw he has, how the romance has gone, how she’s tried and nothing happens. You know she’s unhappy, but you just can’t see her doing it. You hope not, anyway.

Looking away from them, you watch a few people dancing, Christmas music flowing out of the speakers above.

Karen laughs at something the guy says, and in the corner of your eye you see her place a hand on his arm.

“Oh, that’s too funny! You’re really funny... Sorry, what’s your name again?”

The man is unfazed, still grinning. “Callahan. Phil Callahan.”

He says it with such an atrocious Sean Connery accent, making Karen burst out laughing again, and it makes you smile, too.

“Oh, big James Bond fan, huh?” she says, her elbow on the table, chin in her hand.

“Oh, yeah, it’s why I became a cop.”

Your gaze darts to him. “You’re a cop?”

He raises his hands as he laughs. “Yeah, but, hey, you go on and drink as much as you want, I’m off duty now.”

Karen laughs and you make yourself join in, but your heart has started to beat a little faster.

Oh, stop it, he’s not here.

You take a quick sip of your drink again to cover the fact you aren’t laughing anymore, and then Callahan looks up, his grin widening somehow as he waves his hand frantically.

“Hey, boss, over here!”

Boss?

Boss.

The entire room seems to slow down as you turn your head and see a man, who’s stopped for a moment to shake hands with someone, with brown hair and a neatly clipped beard, wearing a brown leather jacket, plaid shirt and jeans, his eyebrows raised—

Oh, God.

Oh, shit.

Oh fucking Lord in the manger.

Callahan is slapping his hand against the vacant seat at the table, that happens to be close to you, practically shouting, “Hop’, here, saved ya a seat!”

You swiftly turn back around, staring at Karen. She’s frozen, staring at you, and for the next three seconds you somehow communicate an entire conversation with just your eyebrows and eyes.

Both of you seem to agree on fuuuuuuck.

You can’t just get up and leave, that would be the most obvious thing in the entire world. What if he doesn’t recognise you? Yeah, maybe you’ll be so incredibly fucking lucky and it’ll be a Christmas miracle and you’ll somehow have just disappeared from his memory.

Swallowing hard as you hear him move past a group behind you with an “Excuse me,” you rest your hands on the table, gripping them together.

“Hey, Callahan, where’s everybody else?”

Oh, his voice has changed. It’s deeper, rougher.

“Oh, well, Powell said he and his wife are gonna come later when he finishes his shift, and Jones, Davids and Williamson are over there, they’ve been waitin’ to get a drink for ages.” Callahan laughs delightedly, and Karen joins in, giving a slightly nervous one.

It draws Hopper’s attention and you don’t dare look up to see his expression but there’s a note of surprise in his tone.

“Karen, hey, you doin’ okay?”

“Yes, thank you.” And then she panics. “We’re just having a night out.” And then she panics more when she realises what she’s said, and that she’s gestured at you, her eyes as wide as her now somewhat manic smile.

Oh. God.

Lifting your head, you automatically smile, your features frozen.

“Hi.”

Hi.

He looks from Karen to you, and you’re suddenly subject to the full force of Jim Hopper’s gaze for the first time in decades.

Oh. God.

You can’t help it; the memories of the last time you saw him flood your mind.

“Hop’, are you even listening to me?”

He swiftly puts down the ball of rubberbands he’d been picking at on your desk, his eyebrows raised as he looks to you.

“Yeah, yeah, course I am.”

Your own eyebrows rise even higher, your hands lifted. “What, then?”

He tilts his head slightly, grazing his teeth over his lower lip. “’What’, what?”

“You weren’t fucking listening—”

“No, I was,” he quickly says at your weary sigh, leaning forward in the chair and resting his elbows on his knees, an easy smile pulling at his lips. “C’mon, just repeat the last part.”

You’d once found this all charming and endearing.

Your hands going to your waist, you exhale another breath before folding your arms, managing to calm yourself.

“What are you gonna do after school?”

Hop’ shrugs, leaning back again. “I don’t know. What are you gonna do?”

It was just the answer you’d feared, and expected. Licking your lips, you glance down at the carpet before steeling yourself and meeting his gaze again.

You can do this.

“I’m thinking of moving.”

He nods, his smile returning. “Okay, where?”

“I don’t know. New York, maybe. There’s jobs there and I have a friend there, I could stay with her for a bit.”

“Or we could get a place together.”

You stare at him, feeling your stomach twist.

“So... you’re, you’re just gonna follow me where I go.”

“Yeah.” His brow dips slightly, the smile still there, though it’s hesitant. “Aren’t girlfriends supposed to be happy when their boyfriends say that?”

“Yeah, but... What do you want to do?”

Hop’ shrugs again. “I don’t know. I know I wanna be with you, though.”

You’d once have quietly swooned at that and given him a fond smile. Now, though... You want more.

“Hop’, I don’t... I don’t wanna be one of those high school couples that just sticks together because they’re together. I want you to actually want this.”

He’s frowning again, confusion starting to set in. “I do.”

You say it quietly. “I don’t think you do.”

He stares at you, all traces of his smile gone. Then, he scoffs, leaning back in his chair a little more as he folds his arms.

“So now you’re tellin’ me what I do and don’t feel?”

“No, I just, I want you to have some drive, some ambition, not just go along with what I say and do.”

“I go along with it because it’s what I want.”

You can feel tears stinging at your eyes but your mind has also been made up.

“I don’t think it is, I just think it’s easy and safe for you.”

“Stop tellin’ me what I’m feelin’!”

His voice raising makes yours, too.

“Am I wrong?”

He looks at you like he has no idea who you are, and for some reason that really pisses you off because you don’t really recognise him anymore, either.

“Why are you pushing me away?!”

“I’m not, I—”

“Where has all this come from, then?!”

“I don’t know if I want this!”

Silence falls.

You swallow thickly as he stares at you, your voice cracking slightly.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, but... y’know, Karrie and Teddy, they... I look at them and at Joyce and Lonnie and they’re so happy, they know what they want, and they can’t wait to get married and settled down, here, but...”

“You don’t want that,” he finishes for you, quietly.

You speak after a moment, your tone matching his. “I don’t.”

“You don’t want me.”

That sends a knife through your heart because honestly? You have no idea. 

Shaking your head, you close your eyes for a moment. “No, yes, I... I don’t know. I care so much about you, but... I just think we’re on different paths.”

His gaze drops as your words linger in the air. Clearing his throat, he glances up at you again.

“What if we just take a break, for a bit. Or I can come up and visit you, in New York.”

He’s just a boy, you suddenly think, your heart breaking.

Biting at your lower lip to stop it from trembling, you give a small shrug. “I think that wouldn’t be fair on us both.”

He nods slowly, his jaw moving, and you’ve never seen him this distant. Raising his eyebrows slightly, he stands.

“Seems you already had this all figured out.”

“No, no, I didn’t, I just don’t want to be unfair to you—”

“Could I have said anything that would have changed your mind?” His quiet words silence you, and you have to stifle a sob.

“... No.”

Hop gazes at you, and after several moments he nods. “Good luck with everything.”

You’d burst into tears the moment he’d left your room. The front door had slammed shut and as you’d sat on your bed and cried and cried you’d heard his car door slam, too. You’d cried for days, going between telling yourself you’d made a huge mistake, and then that you’d done what was best, that he didn’t appreciate you like he used to and it wasn’t your job to fix him and coach him through life and that... yeah, you’d fallen out of love with him.

You hadn’t just lost a boyfriend that day, though, you’d also lost your best friend.

You loved Karen but there was just something different about Hop’, something that made you feel safe and like you could tell him anything and he wouldn’t judge. As you’d moved away and the months had gone on, several triumphs and bad days had happened, and all you’d wanted to do was just pick up the phone to call him and tell him. You’d stopped yourself every time.

Then, at some unremarkable point, you’d just stopped getting that urge, and life had moved on.

Oh, it certainly had moved on.

You stare at him, trying to look without looking. You can still see the face of the teenager you once knew, though with the beard and the lines at the corners of his eyes he’s very much a man now.

God, is he a man.

He was tall when you’d known him, but is he taller now, somehow? Had he had another growth spurt in his twenties? His hands are huge, too, and he’d been confident back then but it had come from cockiness whereas now he just seems quietly so, more sure of himself.

And you have absolutely no idea what he’s thinking. He’s staring at you so expressionlessly that you believe for a moment or two he actually has forgotten you.

Then, he speaks

“Hey. Been a long time.”

Hey. Been. A. Long. Time.

Said like you didn’t once whisper “I love you” to each other and share every single secret you’d ever had.

Then again, all you’d been able to muster up was a ‘Hi’.

You’re still smiling and you don’t know how to stop.

“Yeah, it has.”

“How are you?”

“Fine, thank you, you?”

“Yeah, good. You home for the holidays?”

“Yep.”

He runs his fingers over his mouth as he nods, and oh my God, he’s attractive. Is he, or is it the alcohol?

Wanting to banish the thoughts from your mind and distract yourself, you quickly continue.

“I’m staying with Karen.”

“That’s nice.” It’s said absolutely expressionlessly. “Just ‘till the new year?”

“Uhm, indefinitely. I’m, I’m working, uh, going through, uh, I’m moving, at the moment.”

“Okay. Well, I hope it goes okay.”

Oh my God, he’s winding down the conversation. He’s gonna go.

And you’re still smiling.

“Thank you.”

Nodding, he glances at Callahan. “I’m gonna go and check in with the others, see how they are.”

Callahan just nods once, his gaze flicking from you to Hopper and back again with utter confusion.

Rising, Hopper glances from Karen to you.

“See you around.”

“Yeah, bye, happy holidays,” you answer, Karen possibly unable to speak.

His lips move slightly, possibly into a faint smile. “Yeah, to you, too.”

And then he walks away, heading for the bar. Staring at where he’d just been sat, a slightly strangled sound releases from the back of your throat.

“Oh my God, oh my God...”

Looking to Karen, a whole range of emotions are flashing across her face as she tries to find the most comforting one. She fails.

“Oh, babe, oh God, that was horrible.”

“I know, I just, I forgot how to have a conversation, my voice got so high.”

“It did, I don’t know why you did that.”

“Neither do I, oh my God...” Putting your head in your hands, you then quickly lift it after a moment, pressing your lips together as you raise your hands. “Whatever. It’s fine. Let’s just, please, move past it. It’s over, I got it out the way, it was civilised, it’s done.”

“You’re right, you’re so right, please let’s forget it. Let’s drink.”

“Yes, please.”

You tap your glass against Karen’s as she raises it, and both take a long drink.

Oh, God.

That had been... so uneventful you don’t quite know what to do with yourself. In all the times you’d thought about how this exact moment might go, you’d never thought it would be uneventful. You’d imagined yelling, or crying, sometimes even laughing, but this...

Well. It was really like it had meant nothing at all.

You don’t know why it’s getting to you so much. You broke up with him. Of course he’d have moved on and left it all behind, God, you have as well. You’ve both lived your lives, gone through so many things and come out the other side and... A break up when you were teenagers kind of pales in comparison.

Yeah. It’s all fine. In fact, you know what, you’re relieved. It’s mature. It’s done. That’s it. You don’t have to be best friends with him again, for fuck’s sake.

Lowering your drink, you don’t realise your internal monologue has played out on your face, eyes widening and narrowing. Looking up, you find Karen and Callahan staring at you.

Licking your lips, you shrug. “It’s fine. It’s fine. Who wants another drink?”

You’re out of your seat and heading to the bar before they can respond. Karen sits back in her chair as she blinks, watching you stride away.

“Can someone just please tell me what’s going on?” Callahan bursts out, his hands raised.

“Oh, God, sweetie...” Karen sighs, reaching for her drink again. “... I have no fucking clue.”

—————————————————————————————————

24th December 1982

“Ughhh... Oh, God...”

It’s not your own groaning that wakes you, but that of someone else.

Cracking open an eye, you stare up at the ceiling as the groaning continues.

Uh, my mouth is so dry...

Licking your lips, you turn your head and find Karen on the other side of the bed, her hair bedraggled and spilling across the pillow, mascara halfway down her face, lipstick smeared. Turning her own head, she looks at you and groans again.

“Am I alive?”

“I think so,” you rasp, and she groans mournfully.

“Ughhhh... I don’t even remember how we got home...”

Closing your eyes, you scratch at your forehead, trying to remember yourself.

You’d gone to the bar, drank, drank a lot, maybe danced a little, spoken with your old classmate, Jessica? Justine? and then... Oh, what was his name again...

“Callahan,” you murmur, your throat aching. “Callahan brought us home.”

“Oh, yeah... Didn’t we ask him to turn on his lights?”

Your lips twitch as you recall how you’d both screamed with joy and whooped and cheered as he’d turned on the lights, waving your arms from side to side.

You snort and she glances at you. A laugh escapes you as you think about the absurdity of it all, and then she’s laughing, too, her cackle loud and delighted.

“Oh my God... Ugh, that was fun...” she sighs, her smile lingering.

“Yeah...” you murmur, stretching your legs out.

“We’ll have fun tonight, too.” She pats your hand, exhaling a breath. “If we just... If we just sleep ‘till noon, and then we can start preparing the house... Maybe even two, it won’t take long...”

You hum, closing your eyes, and, yeah, sleeping a little longer does sound like a good idea... Besides, when you’re unconscious, you don’t have to think about a certain embarrassing event that happened... 

Perfect.

You focus on the softness of the bed as Karen snores lightly beside you, already fast asleep... Yeah... the joy of unconsciousness...

—

“... Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock... Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring... Snowin' and blowin' up bushels of fun... Now the jingle hop has begun...”

Adjusting a plate on the table, you straighten and blow out a breath, trying to stifle a yawn.

I really can’t handle a night out anymore.

Brushing your hands together, you turn, surveying the party that’s in full-swing. It’s only a couple of hours in but it’s already a success. People are talking, laughing, dancing, singing, eating, drinking, having a merry old time in general really. You feel more proud than you would have thought as your gaze drifts across the room.

You’d had to shake Karen awake at half one, both of you practically dehydrated and feeling not so fresh. After drinking copious amounts of water, showering, changing and finally eating, realising you were both starving, you’d flown around the house together, tidying, cleaning, cooking up food, putting drinks out and decorating. It had been another whirlwind but a wonderful whirlwind. You’d had so much fun, and hadn’t thought once about The Incident. An hour before the party was due to start, you and Karen had gotten ready, selecting slightly more festive outfits than the ones you’d worn last night.

Now, she’s in the kitchen, laughing at something a neighbour is saying, while Mike and Nancy talk in separate corners with some of their friends who have turned up, and Ted, who’d you’d finally bumped in to and greeted, was sat in his armchair, talking with a guy who looked slightly desperate to get away.

The doorbell chimes and you catch Karen’s eye, waving your hand and mouthing, “I’ll get it,”, as you’ve done so for the last few chimes.

You have to carefully push your way past people on the way to the foyer, which is surprisingly empty. Moving to the door, you grip the handle and pull it open, a smile already on your lips.

“Hey—”

You cut yourself off, pausing as you stare up at the man.

Hopper stares back at you, shoulders slightly hunched from the cold, hands in his pockets.

"Hi,” he says, glancing behind you briefly.

"Hey,” you repeat, your heart pounding.

... Whaaaaaat is he doing here?

As if he’s somehow heard your thought, he clears his throat and raises his eyebrows a little. “Uh, Callahan said we were invited.”

Oh, fuck, yes, you’d forgotten Karen had insisted he come, and you, jokingly, had said, ‘Hey, why not invite Hopper, too?’

Haha. Ha. What a hilarious joke. What a hilarious little joke that Callahan clearly hadn’t taken as a joke so it is now real.

Just as you realise you haven’t answered him, he clears his throat again. “Should I—”

“Oh, no, God, sorry, come in.” Holding the door open, you step back, gesturing with your other hand into the foyer.

He steps in, glancing at the party beyond before he turns to you as you close the door, looking up at him.

You’re staring again.

Swallowing, you point at the stairs. “Uh, coats are up here, I’ll show you.”

Before he can answer, you stride to the steps and ascend, gripping the bannister.

Ooh... Ooh, what’s happening... What am I doing...

You’ve shown the last few people up to where the coats are being kept, just in case you can’t see them out, but this is... This is rather intimate.

You hear him behind you, following you up, and you make yourself exhale a long breath to try and calm your heart.

Be an adult.

The coats are being kept where they usually would at a Wheeler party; the guest room, AKA your room. It’s one of the reasons you’ve been basically escorting people up to it, not wanting them to linger in there or have a stranger possibly go through your things.

Pushing the door open, you step in to the dimly lit room and gesture at the bed that’s piled high with coats, scarves and jackets.

“Just here, leave it anywhere.”

He stands in the doorway, hands back in his pockets.

“I’m actually not stayin’ long, I’ve got a shift soon.”

Your hands drop. “Oh. Okay...” You can’t stop a slight frown from crossing your features. “Why did you come up, then?”

Hopper meets your gaze, his jaw moving minutely. “‘cause I want to talk to you.”

“Oh.”

Oh.

You’re sweating, your fingers flexing by your side.

Okay, here we go, he’s gonna yell at me and tell me everything he’s been holding back, here we go...

Shifting his stance, he leans against the doorframe, his gaze holding yours. “Listen, last night, I... I’m sorry I left so abruptly. That wasn’t, uh... polite of me.”

... Well, that’s not what you’d expected.

Your lips parted, you gaze at him. “Uh, no, no, no, it’s fine, I, I completely get it. It’s, uhm...” You pause, swallowing. Then, you smile faintly, and just say it, your voice dropping slightly. “... It’s weird, isn’t it.”

“Yeah. Fuck, yeah, it is.” He lets out a laugh, and for some reason the sound of it warms you. “I was a little taken aback when I saw you, I was totally unprepared.”

“Oh, me, too.” You exhale a laugh, your smile easing. “I wanted to say so many things but my brain wasn’t quite connected to my mouth.” You laugh again, though it’s more nervous this time, because you know if you don’t say it now, you never will. Your tongue gliding across your lips, you raise your hands a little. “Look, Hop, I...” Fuck, it feels strange saying his name again. “... I’m sorry for how things ended between us.”

Hopper’s already shaking his head before you’ve finished, a slight dip to his brow. “Don’t be. I think it was the kick up the ass I needed, and I knew you were right. Took me a little while to admit that, but, yeah.”

“Still, I could have given us a chance—”

“We were kids,” he cuts you off gently with a light smile, shrugging. “Neither of us knew what we were doin’ or how to handle somethin’ like that.”

You snort. “I still don’t.”

A corner of his mouth lifts a little higher. “Yeah, me, too.” Grazing his teeth over his lower lip, you watch him as he seems to consider something, your cheeks heating slightly at his intense gaze. “... Stop me if I’m, uh, treadin’ where I shouldn’t, but, and I’m just connectin’ the dots here, you said you’re stayin’ in Hawkins indefinitely, is that because something similar has happened?”

You give a faint smile, pointing a finger at him as you raise your eyebrows. “Yeah, you got me. I, uhm...” Here we go... “... I broke up with my fiancé. Or, he broke up with me, actually.” Your smile widens a little more. “Good connecting, you must be a great Chief.”

“Well, I do my best.” He looks sympathetic in a way that is mercifully not pitying. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Thanks. I feel like shit every day, but, it was for the best. He was an asshole. I just didn’t want to see it.”

“How come he did the breaking up, then?”

You fold your arms, exhaling a breath. “He met someone else. Didn’t even bother to hide it or save my feelings. Just told me.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah, it really did.”

“Still,” he nods his head at you, “you seem much better off.”

You feel a little proud at that, because, actually, you feel like a mess. “Thanks. Karen’s letting me stay here until I figure out what I wanna do. I don’t even know if I like my job anymore or if it’s just everything that’s going on making me feel like I hate it, or maybe I have hated it for a while and I just don’t want to admit that to myself either.” You catch yourself from continuing, releasing a sheepish laugh. “I’m sorry, I’m just rambling on now, you can go back down—”

“Nah, it’s okay, I like listenin’ to you.”

He says it so sincerely, holding your gaze, that you don’t quite know what to do. Biting at your lower lip briefly, you look away for a few moments, your fingers twisting together.

“Well... Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

You can hear the smile in his tone, so you look up, and God...

You’ve missed that smile.

His expression is so soft, too, so gentle and...

No, no, no, no... No, it’s just because you’re sad and it’s Christmas and—

Clearing his throat, he leans an arm against the chest of drawers beside the door.

“Y’know, I... I’ve thought about you over the years, thought about reachin’ out. I heard from someone years ago that you were in New York and I... I told myself I was gonna look you up but... I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Didn’t know if you’d even want to see me.”

A smile pulls at your lips, your chest aching slightly. “I think I would have.” Biting at your lower lip again, you take a breath. “... I’ve thought about you, too. Sometimes I think about if I made the biggest mistake of my life in leaving you.”

He blinks, before quickly smiling, shaking his head. “Like I said, we were just kids. We didn’t know any better.”

“I know.”

You’re gazing at each other again, quietly.

Don’t.

Clearing your throat, you make yourself smile. “I’m so sorry, I should have offered you a drink, I—”

“Would you like to go out for a drink?” he asks, so swiftly that it’s as if he’d been waiting to. “So we can catch up properly?”

Staring at him, you feel something quietly ignite within you. He looks somewhat nervous, and for some reason it calms you instantly.

A softer smile returning to your lips, you nod. “I’d like that.”

One corner of his mouth lifts a little higher than the other as he straightens, his hands falling to his sides. “Good. Okay. I’ll call. I gotta head out now, sorry, I just wanted to drop by before my shift.”

He wanted to drop by... to see me.

Trying to contain your smile, you move towards him, heading for the door. “It’s okay, I’ll walk you out.”

“Thanks.”

You head down the hallway and stairs in silence, your heart fluttering wildly. You’re suddenly very aware of your body, and of his right behind you, and oh my God, when was the last time I felt this way?

Pulling the door open, you hold it for him as you smile.

“Well, I hope your shift goes okay.”

“Thanks.”

He’s stood before you, a hand in his pocket, and he doesn’t move.

Then, his other hand moves to rest on your arm gently as he lowers his head and presses a soft kiss to your cheek.

Oh, fuck.

His lips brushing against your skin makes your heart stop and every inch of your skin warm. It’s brief, far too brief, and when he pulls his head back to look at you, you desperately hope you don’t look as flustered as you feel.

Giving a slightly breathless smile, you hold his gaze. “Merry Christmas, Hop’.”

The smile he gives in return has you feeling a way you know you haven’t in years.

“Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”

—————————————————————————————————

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Love Letters (Arthur x Reader)

Prompt: You find Arthur’s journal and start exchanging notes with him. Fluff ensues. Word Count: 2,929 

— You push open the door of your Gotham city apartment building, before trudging over to the mailboxes.

“Bills, bills, bills,” you sigh, shoving the unopened letters into your bag. You turn to make your way to the elevator, but something catches your eye. A worn notebook lays on the floor at your feet, words scrawled across every inch of it. Your curiosity gets the better of you, and you can’t help but reach down and grab it.

You let your fingers run over the pages, as your eyes land on what looks to be the last thing written. You almost set the journal back down, not wanting to intrude on the stranger’s personal thoughts. But something about the messy handwriting draws you in.

I just want peeple to see me. I think I would be happyer if I had someone who cared.

Your heart felt heavy for the stranger; there was no way you could pretend that you never saw this. Your hand immediately shuffled around inside your bag, pulling out a pen and getting to work on your note back.

I’m sorry you feel that way. Everyone deserves to be seen. I’m sure you have someone who cares about you, and if not, I’ll be that person.

You read over your words, nodding in approval. You drop the notebook next to the mailboxes, hoping that the man or woman who left it behind will come back for it. As you made your way to the elevator, you couldn’t help the light feeling that washed over you. For once, you felt like you actually did something worthwhile in Gotham.

—

The next day, you were practically buzzing with excitement as you rushed home from work. All you could think about was the journal you found. Had the person read your note? Did they write something back? Did they even notice that the journal was gone? So many questions were swirling through your head, but you didn’t have to dwell on them much longer.

Sitting in almost the exact same place as you left it in, the journal was open to a new page, and another messy note was scrawled across the lines.

I only have my mother. You must not have many peeple to. Why else would you be writing back to a man in a jurnal journal.

Despite yourself, you laughed at the bluntness of the stranger, who you now know is male. A few other residents of the building gave you a look as you chuckled to yourself. With your pen already in hand, you moved to draw a small smiley face on the paper.

:) It’s funny of you to say that. Very bold. It’s nice that you still have your mom. Do you see her often? P.S. My name is Y/N, what’s yours? If you don’t mind me asking, that is.

Oddly enough, you were looking forward to getting up the next morning to see if your mystery guy would write back. At first, you were sure he would, but the more you thought about it, the more you started second-guessing.

Was asking about his mother too forward? What about asking for his name? After all, this man didn’t know you whatsoever. He has no obligation to tell you anything about his life; however, he did say he was lonely in some regard. You’re just trying to be friendly, you told yourself. If he didn’t want to answer, he didn’t have to. You wouldn’t be disappointed.

—

You were right to tell yourself that you wouldn’t be disappointed. When you took a detour over the mailboxes that morning, you instantly saw a new reply sitting beneath yours from the previous day.

You think I’m funny? I do stand up comedy sometimes. I actully live with my mother here. I take good care of her. Ps I like your name. My name is Arthur. Arthur Fleck.

Your fingers traced over the man’s name.

“Arthur,” you said out loud to yourself. You liked the way his name sounded, and as strange as it seemed, you felt like his name matched his cute, scribbly handwriting.

I like your name too. Also, you’re a comedian? Now you have to tell me a joke!

You looked over the words, wondering if you should write anything else. He didn’t ask you any questions, but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t tell him anything.

I think it’s great that you take care of your mom, not many people would do that.

You considered adding “you seem like a really nice guy” to the end of your note but decided against it. You’ve already been inquisitive; it’s probably best to hold back a little.

A reply was waiting for you the next morning when you checked back in. While reading it, you couldn’t help but laugh at Arthur’s response.

Why dont canibals cannibals eat clowns? Becus they taste funny.

There was a line of space between the joke he scribbled down and the rest of his note. You glanced down, hanging on to every word that was written on the page. You wondered if he felt the same way while reading what you left him.

Most peeple find it strange that I live with my mother. You said it was great. Thank you for being nice to me Y/N.

Your heart picked up at the use of your name. At the risk of sounding cliché, you can’t remember a time when the mere doodle of your name has caused such a surge of warmth to fill your body.

You felt kind of absurd for feeling like this. You haven’t even met the man. He could be any person in the building, and yet, you still felt drawn to Arthur like he was someone you’ve known forever.

You hastily wrote back to him, deciding to take a bit of a chance with your next move.

No need to thank me, Arthur. I truly think it’s admirable. Oh, and that was a hilarious joke. I’d love to hear it in person sometime.

You knew that was a bold thing to say to him. It has only been four days since you found the man’s notebook, and you’ve already given him a reason to meet with you. You’re absolutely positive you have a high chance of being the next star of a late-night murder mystery documentary. Still, at this point, you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

Pushing the thoughts of Arthur out of your mind, you left for work, hoping to go one day without thinking of your new pen-pal.

—

When you arrived home from work, you were nearly falling over in exhaustion. You just wanted to get back to your apartment and crash in front of the TV. As always, though, you stopped by to read any new messages that Arthur had left. You were surprised to see a rather long entry this time compared to his usual two or three sentences.

I dont understand why you want to talk to me Y/N. You know you are not forced to anser me. I know that you probly dont actully want to meet with me. Thats ok. I enjoy getting your mesages and I want to keep talking. I feel like I have somebody with you around. But I understand if you want to stop. You dont have to lie to me and tell me you want to meet. I will be fine.

For the first time, Arthur’s note didn’t make you smile. Instead, you read through it with a dull ache in your chest. You wished there was some way to prove to him how much you looked forward to this encounter every day. Honestly, it was the only thing you looked forward to these days. 

Arthur,

You doodled a little heart next to his name before scratching it out, too nervous about leaving it there.

I have never lied to you, and I never will. I would like to meet sometime, but only when you’re comfortable with that. Until then, we can talk here. I enjoy getting your messages too; they actually make me really happy. I feel like I have a friend in you. P.S. What’s your favorite color?

The notes between you both went on for another two weeks. Even though your communication was often brief and to the point, you still found yourself craving the disordered, misspelled words from Arthur. Nearly three weeks of knowing him, and you were convinced he was the kindest, funniest, and most selfless man in Gotham. With every new letter in the journal, you felt your control slip away, leaving behind a feeling that you haven’t experienced quite like this.

You liked him. It has only been three weeks, and you liked him.

You tried to reason to yourself that it wasn’t totally crazy to have a crush on Arthur. It’s normal to develop a crush on someone in such a short period; that’s how crushes work. You knew, however, that it wasn’t normal to crush on someone you’ve never even really met. Arthur was nothing but some words on a page right now, but you still couldn’t shake the thought that you knew him.

With each day that passed, you learned something new about him. From his favorite foods to his job at HaHa’s, you found yourself holding on to each fact as if your life depended on it. You briefly wondered if you should take a stop by HaHa’s on your way home from work, but ultimately decided against it. You wanted Arthur to be ready to meet you; you didn’t want to force him to.

After a particularly hard day at work, you sat by the mailboxes, writing furiously about your day.

I hate my job. I hate this apartment. I hate Gotham. The only thing I look forward to is writing with you, but I don’t even know you. Isn’t that pathetic?

You carried on for a whole page and a half about the shitty day you’ve had. You considered tearing it out so Arthur wouldn’t feel required to comfort you, but something kept you from doing so. Arthur has been somewhat open with you; it’s about time you do the same for him.

The next day, you halted to a stop by the mailboxes, seeing the journal laying in its usual location. But next to it, a single blue flower. You slowly made your way over, trying not to get your hopes up.

Y/N Im sorry you are feeling like this. Things in Gotham can be awful sometimes. I have felt like that my hole life. Im starting to feel diferently now that I have you. I hope you feel the same way. I got you this blue flower to cheer you up. Blue means comfort.

You felt your ears burn red, as you picked up Arthur’s gift. You knew how much courage it must have took him to leave something like that for you. The man has told you enough about him for you to picture his bouncing leg and racing heart as he sat the flower down next to his new entry.

This means more than you know, Arthur.

This time, you did leave a little doodle heart next to his name. You knew he would only find it endearing now.

I am incredibly lucky to have found you. You make living in Gotham worthwhile.

You took the flower up to your apartment, knowing that you were going to do whatever you could to keep it alive and well.

If you weren’t sure before, you were now. You really, really liked Arthur. And you kind of, sort of, hoped he liked you too.

—

The next night, you were off early from work. So, after grabbing something quick to eat, you walked back to your apartment in hopes of seeing a new message from Arthur.

When you got inside, you stopped in your tracks. A man with curly, brown locks towered over the journal. Your heart started thumping loudly in your chest as you took in, who you presumed to be, your month-long writing buddy.

“Arthur,” you said quietly, trying not to startle him. He still jumped slightly, almost toppling over from lack of balance. He gave you a confused look, seemingly trying to figure out if he knew you. “It’s Y/N.”

Suddenly, his eyes went wide, and he hurriedly concealed the journal behind his back.

“B-but, I only talk to you in my notebook. W-why are you here? You’ve never been here before,” he said, moving his hands from his chest to his waistline, a gesture you guessed was made to ground himself.

“I know. I’m sorry. I just, I got off work early. I didn’t know you would be here, I swear,” you told him. “If you want me to leave, I understand. I’ll just look at what you wrote later.”

“No.”

“No?”

He finally looked at you—all of you. His eyes roamed from your shoes, all the way to your face before his gaze rested on yours.

“You- you can’t read it. You can’t,” he mumbled.

“But… I’ve been reading everything in there,” you paused before quickly continuing. “Everything you’ve written to me. I haven’t read anything before that! I would never.”

He nods, staying silent.

“Were you going to stop talking to me?” you asked, a little hurt at the insinuation.

“No! I- I could never.”

“Then, why can’t I read what you wrote?”

He looks down at the floor, picking at a part of his sweatpants. “It’s embarrassing.”

“You know I’d never judge you, Arthur, but you don’t have to show me if you don’t want. I can leave, and we can continue writing like this never happened.”

“Okay,” he agrees, and you’re glad to see him meet your eyes once again. He drops the notebook onto the floor, and gives you a wave before taking off towards the elevator. You wait until he’s inside before reaching down and grabbing the book.

His writing, as usual, brings a small smile to your face. It makes your heart flutter that you have a face to put with the name and the messy scribbles.

I checked every word twice in order to get this right. I wanted to make sure I spelled and said everything perfictly perfectly.  I know we have known each other for a little bit but youre always on my mind. Just like you said… you make living in Gotham worthwhile. I have a queston question for you. I hope you still want to write after this. Will you go on a date with me to Pogos? It’s a comedy club. It’s okay to say no.

You bit your lip, nearly drawing blood. The smile threatening to take over your face grew the more times you read over the note. You couldn’t believe the man you just talked to wanted to go out with you. And poor Arthur, who was too embarrassed to tell you that, looked like he wanted to shrivel up.

You scrawled down a giant “yes” under Arthur’s last writing before aimlessly drawing a few hearts around the word. After running upstairs to grab a few things, you came back down to the mailboxes and threw a blanket down on the floor. You were confident that people were going to think you’re crazy, but you weren’t concerned about their opinions. You parked yourself on the blanket and decided to camp out until the next morning when Arthur would, no doubt, be returning.

When the sun did arise, so did your writing partner. You heard the elevator doors screech open, and before you could look, Arthur was standing in front of you gawking.

“Did- did you get evicted?”

You laughed slightly and shook your head. “I was waiting for you.”

“You were waiting for me,” he repeated, looking puzzled and a little nervous.

“Yes. I wanted to be here when you read my response,” you told him. Your heart raced as he carefully took the journal from your hands and looked at it. His brows furrowed, and he looked back at you in astonishment.

“Are you sure? I think you made a mistake,” he dropped the journal and put his hands firmly back onto his chest. “This is not real.”

Your heart sank a little as you took in the distressed man in front of you. “This is real, Arthur. I didn’t make a mistake. I like you.”

“No- no,” his hands went to his head, so you reached out cautiously and took them into yours.

“I like you,” you repeated. “I would love to go on a date with you.”

That seemed to break him out of his episode, and he looked down at your intertwined hands before he broke out into a smile.

“Really? Okay. I’ll write to you and tell you what time to meet me.”

You giggled, debating whether or not to tell him that you didn’t need to write any more now that you knew each other. However, you let him go with a smile on your face and kept your mouth shut. If he wanted to write to you, you’d gladly let him. You were looking forward to seeing what time your scribbly, disordered, writing partner would come up with in your journal. 

Your journal, you thought to yourself. You and Arthur’s journal. 

You liked the thought of that. Arthur will just have to get used to it. 

Turns out, Arthur didn’t have to get used to it. He already was.

[gingerwritess]

"Person A is pregnant but finds out just before Person B has to gone on a six month long trip. When Person B returns Person A surprises them with their growing baby bump hilarity and confusion ensues" Maybe this one for Elliot and dad!Loki? have a great day sweetcheeks

combined with this request from @mylovelycrazyworld

summary: well…Elliot wanted a sibling. it’s about time he got one.

warnings: pregnancy stuff, a tiny hint of angst, missing Loki, fluff, and lots of Elliot silliness

a/n: FIRST OF ALL I AM SO PROUD OF THIS so i hope you e n j o y

sorry, second, i got waaay too carried away with this and suddenly its like a part of a wholeass story and yeah we’re gonna move this little storyline right along.

third i accidentally posted this before it was done a couple weeks ago so if you read it that time, i’m so sorry, this one is done and much better.

i’m also so sorry i’ve been gone lately. it’s been a crazy hectic last couple weeks so i haven’t had much time to sit down and finish writing anything! thanks for sticking around :)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Of course Loki had to leave this week, of all weeks.

Elliot’s taking the separation fairly well; Loki had left for Asgard with a kiss on the forehead, a tight hug, and a pretty serious request.

“You’ll take care of your mother for me while I’m away, won’t you?”

The little boy had promised, naturally, trying to look as serious and grown-up as he could, and even offered his hand to Loki for a handshake when he went in for a hug goodbye. Loki’s jaw had dropped in shock; then he pushed Elliot’s hand out of the way and swooped him up laughing into his arms for a tight, chaotic, firm hug.

So now you have a protective five year old fussing over you all day long, which is honestly worse than having a protective 1000+ year old fussing over you. He tries to do everything he sees Loki doing, everything he’s supposed to do to “take care of his mother:” like holding your hand in every possible situation, running up behind you and hugging the back of your legs, he’s even kissed your forehead at one point.

Loki’s trained him well.

But morning four of Loki being gone brings an unexpected turn. Elliot has been sleeping in your bed with you, wanting to keep you company—but mostly just missing the clone that Loki normally lets Elliot cuddle up with every night. This Tuesday morning, he’s laying across your stomach, happily sucking a thumb and drooling onto your shirt—well, technically it’s Loki’s.

It would’ve been nice to wake up and see his chubby little face all squished up with sleep, but you’re brutally shaken from your rest by a lurching stomach—you’re going to throw up, right now. You try to push Elliot off you as gently as you can, already retching as you shove him one last time, a little harder than you meant to, and he groggily sits up.

“Whasgoin’on?” He rubs the sleep from his eyes, but you’re already sprawled on the tiles in the adjacent bathroom floor, emptying the contents of your stomach into the toilet. “Mom! No, mom, what’s wrong?!”

“S-stay—stay back,” you cough and wave him away just as before another retch doubles you over, chest heaving when it finally simmers down. “Just give me a second, okay? You don’t want to see this, bud.”

“But are you okay? You got really sick!” He rushes up behind you and starts rubbing your back with a cool little hand. “Ew, you smell kinda funny.”

“Gee, thanks, kiddo.”

“I’m just sayin’!” He holds his nose with one hand, using the other to wrap around your waist and lean into your side. “What does dad do to help you when you’re sick?”

You pull yourself up and over to lean back against the wall, trying to catch your breath and running a hand through Elliot’s curls. “Uses his magic stuff to make me feel better…cuddles with me, just like you’re doing.” You smile weakly down at the little boy, and he quickly lays his little hands on your stomach. “No no no, don’t try it, it’s okay! I feel better!”

“Aw, man.” He sadly retracts his sparking hands—thank god—and nestles back into your side. “I’m getting gooder at my magic, ya know. Dad’s teachin’ me real good.”

“I don’t doubt it, Elliot,” you assure him with a light squeeze of a hug. “But you probably shouldn’t test out any of your magic on people, okay?”

He nods seriously, patting your stomach gently. “Good idea. I gotta be careful with your tummy now, too.”

“Don’t worry, buddy, this is just a bug. I’m already feeling better.”

Elliot shakes his head and crawls onto your lap, leaning down to put his ear to your stomach—what in the world? He listens for a moment and suddenly the wheels in your brain start turning: oh my god. This couldn’t mean…?

The little boy sits up again and feels your stomach one more time, focusing hard on something. “Nope, s’not a bug,” he smiles and gives your belly another gentle pat. “It’s just my baby tryna say hi.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Six pregnancy tests later, there’s no doubt about it. How Elliot figured it out before you even had a hunch, you have no idea, but the little piece of plastic drops from your hand when you flop face-first onto the bed, mind swirling.

This isn’t a surprise.

Elliot had asked. Loki and you had talked, agreed; this is what you want. But really, baby?

Now?

Loki doesn’t get back for another four months. Pregnancies are hard; you’re not going to pretend they aren’t, and to not have your husband here to help you through it…this is going to be much different than when you were pregnant with Elliot.

You glance once more at the last test: positive as ever.

Pregnant. Again.

Sighing audibly, you roll over on the bed and grab Loki’s pillow, hugging it to your chest and breathing deeply, eyes drifting shut.

“We’re gonna be fine,” you whisper, your voice serving more to soothe your own racing mind than anything, “we’re gonna have another baby, and we’re gonna be fine.”

You bury your face in the pillow, hugging it tighter. It smells like Loki—heavenly.

That’ll have to do for the next four months.

* * * *

“What does dad wanna name the baby?”

The plastic fork scrapes against Elliot’s plate in grating anticipation of your answer. He’s picking at his lunch; his appetite hasn’t been quite so bottomless with Loki having been gone for so long.

For yours, on the other hand, the exact opposite is true.

“Dad…doesn’t know yet.” You rip another chunk of bread from the entire baguette in your hand and dip it in butter. This baby seems to have an appetite for seven and a particular fondness for carbs.

Wonderful.

“That’s ok,” Elliot nods thoughtfully. “Names are hard to come up with. I think it should be…blueberry! Cause I love blueberries so much and I love my baby—”

“No, no, I meant…” you struggle to swallow your mouthful of bread and hold up a finger. “Dad doesn’t know that we’re having a baby yet.”

“Why not?”

…yeah, that’s a good question. You probably should’ve called Loki a good while ago, when you’d found out you’re expecting—I mean, it’s his kid too.

But telling Loki he’s going to have a second child just seems like something you don’t do over the phone.

“I don’t want to miss his reaction,” you answer honestly, shoving another chunk of baguette in your mouth. “I wanna sh-uprise ‘im when ‘e gets home.”

Translation: I’m terrified.

Elliot eagerly claps his hands together, the fork falling to the table with a clatter. “That’s a good idea!” He squeals, jumping up to run over and climb into your lap, laying his little hands on your belly. “Dad’s gonna be so excited to meet Blueberry, he’s gonna cry—”

“We are not naming this baby after a fruit. Sorry, kiddo.”

* * * *

An agonising two more months pass, lonely and chock-full of horrid cravings, mood swings, aches and pains and puking nearly every single morning…this baby already seems to hate you.

Elliot’s been a little trooper the past four months.

Hugs whenever you need them, plenty of crayon drawings of your family so you “don’t miss dad too much,” peace and quiet when you fall asleep at the table again, even a few attempted breakfasts in bed. He’s been so sweet and helpful when you know he misses his dad more than anything, so today you drag yourself out of bed, throw up once for good measure, and tell him to get ready for an ice cream trip.

Loki was supposed to be home a week ago, but you can’t let yourself think about that.

Driving with your little bump of a belly is starting to get really uncomfortable, but you make it alright to the little ice cream parlour that Elliot claims makes the best cotton candy ice cream of all time.

“I miss my dad,” Elliot pipes up while you’re sitting in silence, a faint bluish tint to his skin due to the coldness of the ice cream. “He shouldn’t hafta leave ever again.”

“Same here, kiddo, I’m sorry.” You lay a hand on your belly and try to give Elliot a reassuring smile. “This little monster misses him too, but they’re just glad that they have an awesome big brother to take care of them!”

That brings a halfhearted smile to the little boy’s face, and he goes back to licking his ice cream cone, watching you with reddish eyes deep in thought.

“Y’know, dad loves you, mom.” Elliot reaches over to take your hand in his tiny, sticky one, much to your surprise. “He loves you a whole lot, I know it, and he’s not gonna be angry that we’re havin’ another baby.”

Your jaw drops.

What the hell??

Your son, who is apparently getting some kind of crazy read on your thoughts right now, leans over the table and plants a sticky blue kiss to the back of your hand—just like he’s seen Loki do countless times. “Don’t be ‘fraid of him, he’s gonna be so super excited.”

Part of you kind of wants to run away screaming, but maybe mothers shouldn’t do that to their children, so you just gape like a dying fish at the strange little mini-Loki in front of you.

“I’m…I uh…” your mouth opens and closes a few times while your brain tries to catch up. “I’m not…I’m not scared of dad, Elliot, what makes you say that?”

You’re not…right?

Elliot licks his ice cream cone again, catching a drip down his arm. “Nah, you’re ‘voiding your ‘sponsibilities.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re scared to tell dad about Blueberry, right? I heard you in my dream, you told me dad was gonna be upset and get scared to have two kids.”

You swallow hard, trying to find the lie in his innocent statement. “But he—no, he won’t be upset, he wants another kid, he told me.”

This kid is ripping you to shreds, covered in blue and pink melted ice cream.

“S’what you told me,” Elliot shrugs. “Said dad’s gonna like one of us better.”

…you’ve got to pee again.

A blessed escape, cause if Elliot says one more word about Loki or this baby, you’re pretty sure your hormonal self is going to break down in tears.

“I’ll—I’ll be right back,” you choke, scooting your chair back with a loud scrape and pulling yourself to your feet. “Are you okay to stay here? I’ll only be a couple minutes right over there, no talking to strangers, you know the rules.”

Elliot nods, looking worried as you swipe at your eyes and set down your cup of ice cream with shaking hands. “You okay, mom?”

“Fine, fine, I’ll be right back,” You mutter and rush off to the bathroom.

You certainly didn’t look fine, but Elliot shrugs to himself and goes back to his ice cream, keeping a wary eye on the other people in the shop.

“Did your mother just leave you out here all alone?”

Elliot spins around in his chair at the voice, dropping his ice cream cone to the floor and bringing his hands up ready to fight whoever is approaching him—Loki’s taught him enough to fend for himself.

But when he whirls around, he immediately lowers his hands and jumps out of his chair—it’s Loki.

“DAD!” Elliot scrambles out of the chair and bolts into Loki’s waiting arms, knocking him over with the force of his hug. “Dad, dad, you’re home! You’re home!!”

“That I am,” Loki laughs, hugging the little boy tightly to his chest. “I missed you so much, Elliot, so much.”

“Hey!” Elliot points a little finger into Loki’s chest, suddenly serious. “Don’t you ever leave us again, ‘kay??”

“Of course, I’m so sorry I had to—”

“Pinky promise??” Elliot shoves his little finger in Loki’s face, and the god chuckles, extending his own to seal the promise.

“Pinky promise. Hopefully.”

Satisfied with the agreement, Elliot jumps off his dad and rushes back to the table, frowning at the sticky mess that’s left of his ice cream on the floor. “You owe me an ice cream, dad, look whatcha made me do.”

“My sincerest apologies, young man,” Loki chuckles, swooping the kid up in his arms for another squirming hug, trying to sneak a few tickling kisses somewhere on his face. “Where is your mother?”

You come out of the bathroom just in time to hear Elliot answer “hidin’ from you, I think,” and you stop dead in the middle of the shop when you see your husband smiling wide and holding Elliot in his arms.

“Elliot! No I’m not!” You shake yourself out of your shocked daze, running over to the two of them and nearly knocking them over when you throw your arms around Loki’s neck.

Immediately setting Elliot back on the ground, Loki breathes your name and draws you into the tightest embrace he can manage, his arms clutching you so close you have to plant your hands on his chest and gently push him away to keep him from hurting your belly.

He doesn’t seem to notice, but Elliot sure does.

Loki’s hands cradle your face as he pulls away and just stares at you for a moment, trying to decide if words could even begin to describe how happy he is to be with you again.

“I missed…oh, come here.”

He laughs with watering eyes and pulls you close, pressing his lips to yours over and over until neither of you can breathe, half laughing, half teary-eyed because he’s here, you’re all here, together finally.

“That was—mmph—too long,” you laugh around Loki’s relentless lips, keeping a hand to his chest to keep him from your baby bump.

Elliot bounces on the balls of his feet, glad to see his parents so happy again, but sticks a hand between you both to cover your belly. “Careful, dad, don’t hurt my b—”

“ELLIOT!” You cut him off with a nervous chuckle, shooting him a pointed look—shh!

The little boy claps a hand over his mouth, eyes wide. “Sorry.”

“What for?” Loki asks with a breathless laugh, his hand cradling the back of your head to keep you pressed against him.

“Nothing, nothing,” you assure him, kissing him again. “Oh my god, I’m so glad you’re home, Loki. Tell us everything!”

He holds you away from him for a moment with his hands on your shoulders, looking you up and down with a dopey grin on his face—you’re really glad you wore a too-big shirt today, it covers your beginning baby bump pretty well.

“You look incredible,” he murmurs, shaking his head in disbelief—he missed you. His eyes fall on your chest and linger for a half a second longer; your breasts seem…bigger than when he left.

Trust me, he would know.

But he shakes it away and pulls up a chair, and the three of you launch into a detailed retelling of everything you’ve missed over the past four months.

“Well, everything went wrong the moment I stepped foot in Asgard.” He leans forward, eager to tell his story. “There had been an attempt on the relics, and rumours of more to come, so we had to—what’s so funny?”

Elliot’s covering his mouth with a sticky hand, desperately trying to muffle the giggle-fit overcoming him as he looks at you: you’re clutching your stomach with an extremely pained grimace, trying to get comfortable in the little metal chair.

“Nothin’…” he snorts and quickly looks away from you when you glare at him. “What happened next, dad?”

“Okay…” Loki shoots you a confused glance and you quickly grin back, trying not to look like there’s a tiny human laying directly on your bladder right now.

How’s that working out for you?

“Are you alright, my love? You look like you’re in pain.”

“Just a stomachache!” Your gritted laughter is nervous but hopefully convincing enough.

“Are you sure? Just tell me, darling, I can disspell the sickness in less than a second—Elliot!” He whirls around in his chair to glare halfheartedly at the little boy giggling again. “Your mother is in pain, why are you smiling??”

“‘Cause I know something you don’t know,” Elliot sings, clapping his hands with glee and wiggling around in his seat. “Mhm, I’ve got a secret, ‘n I’m not tellin’—”

“Elliot. That’s enough.”

You reach over and pull the little guy into your lap, clamping both hands over his mouth and smiling sweetly at your husband—who just looks very confused. And a little worried.

He’s made it pretty clear that there would be no secrets in this little family of yours.

“Our son…has a secret?” Speaking to you, not Elliot, he raises an eyebrow and it’s not exactly amused. “Care to enlighten me, wife?”

“Don’t worry, Loki, it’s not a secret,” you sooth, tapping Elliot’s mouth twice before letting him go again. “It’s more of…a surprise, really.”

Elliot clasps his hand behind his back and rocks forward on his toes, excited eyes darting back and forth between you and Loki.

“I don’t like surprises.”

“But you’re really gonna like this one,” Elliot promises, sending an overly dramatic attempt of a wink your way.

Unbelievable.

Letting out a dismayed groan, you drop your forehead to your hand. “Elliot, please stop…”

Loki crosses his arms, already looking a little on the defensive side with lips tightly pressed together—this is exactly why you didn’t want to tell him. Way to go, kid.

“If you have something to tell me, tell me now.”

“I—can I tell you at home? Later?”

The god sighs, not able to help feeling as if the joy of your reunion had been let out faster than the air in a deflating balloon—now he’s worried, feeling excluded, almost offended.

Secrets. Never a good idea within a family.

“Don’t worry, snowflake,” you chirp with feigned nonchalance. “You’re gonna love this surprise.”

Your fingers cross under the table.

* * * *

Loki doesn’t bring it up the rest of the day.

You’d guessed he would mention it again at least during dinner, try to pry the information from you, but he smiled and listened to Elliot talk about his loose tooth, eating his food apparently unbothered.

Your knee hasn’t stopped nervously bouncing since you sat down.

Maybe he knows? If Elliot felt it, Loki certainly could. The kid’s voice is still echoing through your mind as you get Elliot ready for bed:

“You told me dad was gonna be upset and get scared to have two kids.”

Okay, maybe you’re a little worried that Loki’s past may hinder his enthusiasm for a second child, but you’ve never even admitted to yourself that he would be upset or scared. But the more you think about it, the more sense it makes: he would be terrified.

Favouring one child over another? That would be Loki’s worst nightmare, yet he hadn’t brought that up when Elliot first asked for a sibling. He’d happily agreed to have a second kid, kissing away your concerns…

Hugging your arms around yourself, you stare at his back from the doorway. His hair is lazy, pulled into a mindless knot on the top of his head; he looks relaxed, doing dishes. At peace with his life.

His life with his wife and his one son.

Did he lie to you?

Had he looked you in the eye, said “I want another baby,” and lied?

God of lies, you keep letting yourself forget.

Your mind goes berserk right there in the kitchen, convincing you that he lied to you, that this baby is unwanted, that he only said that he wanted another baby to keep you happy, that no, he didn’t ever want children, he just wanted to fuck you, that everything he’s ever said to you is a lie—

“Your thoughts are deafening, my love.”

You jump with a start as his voice interrupts your destructive train of thought. “Were you listening?” You immediately ask, voice venomous. “Loki, did you listen?”

He turns around and dries off his hands, leaning back against the counter with a sad smile. “Of course not, out of respect for your secret. I trust you to tell me.”

You stare at him, unmoving and unsure, and he pushes himself away from the counter to take a few tentative steps toward you. “Let’s go to bed,” he murmurs, sensing your troubled mind. “You need rest, then you can tell me this secret when you are ready.”

Nodding slowly, you let him take your hand and lead you to the bedroom, keeping your mouth firmly shut. He shuts the door behind you and you walk straight to the bed, laying down and turning your back on him to avoid this as long as possible.

“Don’t you want to change first?” Loki laughs, and the mattress dips as he climbs on next to you, laying right against your body and pulling you back into him. “Those pants can’t be comfortable, let me get them off of you.”

You shake your head—horny, lying bastard.

“…would you like me to draw you a bath?” He’s trying a gentler approach now, noticing your apprehension and holding you closer.

Another shake of the head.

“Why won’t you talk to me?”

Your hand subconsciously falls to your little baby bump, but Loki’s follows right after to cover your own hand with his.

You’re sick of this—just tell him.

You slip your hand out from under his, grab his wrist, and press it to your belly. His breath catches in his throat, you can hear it, and his cold hand gently runs across the swell of your stomach.

“What is this?”

Just say it.

“I’m pregnant.”

He sits straight up behind you and you screw your eyes shut—he’s going to leave now, right?

But he doesn’t leave; instead cold hands grip your waist and pull you onto your back, catching the hem of your shirt and promptly ripping it from your body.

“Loki!”

He looms over you, knees on either side of your body as he stares down at you. His eyes are wide and a distracted hand rubs over his mouth, trying to process this.

“How long have you known?” His voice is barely a breath.

“…four months.”

“You didn’t tell me?”

The hurt on his beautiful face is a sucker punch to the gut—you idiot, of course he wouldn’t be upset. This is Loki we’re talking about, your husband, the father of your child—children.

“I’m so sorry,” you apologise quietly, avoiding his gaze. “I didn’t…I thought you-you would be upset.”

He breathes a laugh and carefully runs his fingertips down your sides, trying to memorise the sight of you carrying his child…again.

“Why would I ever be upset, my love? I can’t believe you’re this pregnant and you didn’t tell me—”

“Elliot said something,” you anxiously cut him off. “It was stupid, really, I’m stupid for believing it…” you take a breath and ramble on. “He said he had a dream you got upset about having two kids cause you might like one more than the other.”

Loki pauses his kissing down your torso, freezing with his hand splayed across your baby bump. “How did he…”

“I dunno. He was freaking me out, Loki, he started telling me things I wasn’t even thinking yet.”

“That’s my boy,” the god laughs, resting his forehead on your stomach as your brow knits in concern.

Carding your fingers through his hair, you nudge Loki’s head up to look at you. “This doesn’t worry you?”

“Our son turns blue when he touches something cold.” He presses his lips to your stomach again, eyes tightly shut. “I’m afraid your family isn’t exactly the epitome of human normalcy.”

“Yeah, but Loki, was he right?”

“That I’m scared?” He trails his lips up your baby bump, over your chest and coming to rest firmly over your mouth. “My love…I am terrified.”

“Oh.”

Your arms wind around his neck and pull him back down to your lips—maybe if you keep kissing him, he won’t be able to see the disappointment in your eyes.

It works for a little bit, and you nearly lose yourself completely when he starts gently nipping at your lips and moving to tend to your neck; he’s making you drunk on him with the flip of a switch.

It’s too easy for him.

“Loki.” Your hands curl tighter in his hair.

“Hmm.”

“Then why did you tell me you wanted another kid?”

The god pauses, moving from your collarbone back to your face to frown down at you. His fingers are cold along your jaw. “Because I do want another kid.”

“But you’re terrified.”

“And you’re not?”

That makes your mouth snap shut, eyes darting around the room to avoid his piercing gaze. Of course you’re nervous, it’s not like you have any better ideas of how to raise a child—and you’re the one carrying it, for god’s sake.

“I don’t think I need to say more.” Loki smiles, soft and edging closer to the sad end of the spectrum. “I’m always scared. Of you, of my son…and now my second child.”

You still can’t look at him. Shame, maybe.

“I’m terrified of you, did you know that?” He’s kissing you again, lazy lips soft along the outline of your own, up and down your jaw. “Terrified of you, our future, our children. I could lose you in seconds.”

“That’s optimistic.” You try for a cracked smile.

Cool lips meet yours, firm as his hand traces over your baby bump. “It’s realistic, actually. Keeps me honest with myself.”

“We’re not leaving you, if that’s what you’re scared of.”

“But I don’t deserve for you to stay.”

Here we go again.

“Why do you always do this??” You force a playful smile onto your face and sit up, a hand on Loki’s chest pushing him off of you onto the bed. “There you go hating yourself again, sheesh.”

Grateful for the change in subject, you roll over halfway on top of him and mold your lips to his—his, parted slightly in surprise. Your hands cradle his face, stroking through his hair and over his cheekbones as you pour every ounce of adoration you possess for him into the kiss.

Then it really clicks, just how much you missed him.

Maybe that’s why you feel this…disconnect.

Within seconds his shirt is off too, your hands scouring every inch of his skin you can reach, Loki’s breathing becoming shallower as he fumbles with belts and tries to hold your face to his at the same time.

“Missed you,” he whispers hoarsely, giving up on the belt and falling into you, shaking hands holding your neck and waist in a death grip. “My family, I missed you both, and this new one—”

His voice cracks and he moves down, littering every inch of you with kisses that come to rest on the swell of your stomach as his hands hold tight to your hips.

“I’m beyond excited.” It’s nothing more than a whisper. “Terrified, scared out of my mind, but I am so, so happy our family is growing.”

“You sure?” You tangle your fingers in his hair and tip his head up to smile down at him.

“Do I need to prove it?”

God, you missed him.

You grab hold of his face and pull him up, smashing your lips to his.  “I wouldn’t mind if you did.”

So he does.

At least, he tries, until a yell for dad echoes down the hall.

“Good to see nothing has changed,” Loki sighs, pressing one last kiss to the inside of your thigh. “Don’t you go anywhere, we’re not done here.”

You throw a pillow at him with a laugh as he winks and slips out the door.

Elliot is awake, as expected, sitting in his bed clutching the blankets to his chest, a strangely bright smile on his little face. “Hey dad!”

Loki raises an eyebrow. “Hey…”

“You awake?”

“I am now, clearly.” He sits on the edge of the bed and plants a kiss on the top of Elliot’s head. “Why did you call for me?”

The little boy shrugs. “Just wonderin’.”

“…if I was awake?”

“Yup.”

They stare at each other for a second—

—Loki confused and battling with the fact that he just had to leave you on the bed to come take care of this kid, and Elliot scrunching his nose up in the biggest grin at his dad, just happy to see him.

“I’m…going to go back to bed now.” Loki points at the door, giving his son a strange look. “Unless you have literally anything else to tell me? Redeem my coming in here?”

“Nope!” Elliot throws his arms out in a request for a hug.

…that Loki all too happily delivers.

“Oh! Did mom tell you the secret yet?” He whispers, squeezing Loki tighter with arms thrown around his neck.

“She did,” Loki chuckles. “Are you excited?”

“I can’t wait! We’re gonna be bestest friends and I’m naming it Blueberry cause I love blueberries and I love my baby so I’m gonna—”

“Blueberry??”

“Yeah!”

Loki shakes his head with a laugh. “Blueberry Lokason. A name for the ages, without a doubt.”

Elliot beams at his father’s approval and Loki ruffles a hand through his curly hair. “Come on, go to sleep. You shouldn’t be awake right now.”

“Well you guys woke me up…” he grumbles, flopping down on his pillow.

Not again. Loki freezes, face twisting in worry—you hadn’t even started. If that was too loud, then by the end of the night the whole neighbourhood is going to be awake. “Were we being too loud?”

“Nah.” A little smile spreads over the kid’s face. “Mom’s just happy, real happy, and it woke me up.”

“You…you can feel that?”

“Yup. Just like you.” He nuzzles deeper into his pillow. “Thought’ya might wanna know, dad, ‘case you forgot.”

With a face as precious as that, Loki doesn’t have the heart to tell him that’s not just like him…that’s not exactly how his access to the mind works, but the last thing Elliot needs is another reason to believe he’s unusual.

“In case I forgot what, Elliot?” He smiles and kisses the boy’s forehead, running a hand through his hair.

“How to tell when mom’s happy!” He opens his eyes and rolls onto his back, grinning up at Loki. “I almost forgotted too, she’s been sad so long. S’why I woke up!”

“Well.” Loki’s heart twists painfully in his chest. “Thank you. I think I remember now.”

“I gotcha covered, daddy.”

“Go to sleep, little giant.”

* * * * * * * *

The walk down the hall back to the room leaves Loki wondering.

He…felt it.

The kid could tell you were pregnant before you even knew, he could tell that you were nervous to tell Loki, he knew that Loki was scared before he’d admitted it to you…now he felt that you were happy? Strong enough to wake him up?

Apparently Elliot can do a lot more than just turn blue.

The thought of that is terrifying.

All Loki can think of as his hand rests hesitantly on the doorknob is what he’s done. What he’s passed on to this child, unwillingly taking another life down with his own curses.

Elliot’s life is going to be full of pain, if this is what he is capable of. It’s bad enough that he has no control over the shifting of his skin, no thanks to the fruitless attempts Loki has made to figure out how to help him, but now…

Loki starts when you open the door.

“What’d he need?”

You’re smiling—happy, Loki can tell this time. He silently thanks Elliot for the reminder.

“A hug.” He quickly smiles back. “Wanted to know if I was awake…the usual midnight Elliot inquiries.”

“Can I get one?”

You hold your arms out and grin, giddy and irresistibly bright, and Loki steps forward to sweep you into his arms.

“I’ll give you a bit extra, too,” he chuckles, peppering your neck with light kisses as he walks you backward towards the bed. Your knees hit the edge and you fall onto the mattress, grabbing him behind the neck to bring him down with you.

An arm by your head to keep him hovering over you, Loki pauses, just smiling down at you as a few lingering laughs leave your lips.

“Are you happy, my love?”

Cold fingers run down your cheek and he leans down, brushing his lips against yours.

“Of course I am,” you mumble, tangling your fingers in his hair to keep him close. “You’re home, I’ve got the best little kid sleeping down the hall, and we’ve got another one on the way.” Another peck on the lips. “I’m way past happy, snowflake.”

“Good,” he whispers, and decides that’s going to be enough for him.

That’ll be enough for all four of you.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

hope you enjoyed, feel free to send me ideas!

loki tags: @bluediamond007 @himitoshi @drakesfiance @destiel1597 @dangertoozmanykids101 @archy3001 @jcalpha1 @yzssie @skullvieplu @forthesnakeofdragons @skulliebythesea @wegingerangelica @storiesfrommirkwood @agarwaeneth @adaliamalfoy @laurfangirl424 @paradisaicsam @fitzsimmons-is-forever @ladylokimischief @katelinwrites @tarynkauai @polaristrange @loavesofmeat @canadian-ravenpuff-multishipper @lou-makes-me-strong @holyn0vak @chocolatealmondmillk @swtnrholland @kenzieam @jessiejunebug  @catticas @the-republic-and-face-of-texas @doralupin01 @whitewitchdown @atomiccharmer @falconfeather23435 @babygirlicecream @avengrcs @vethrvolnir2 @bookgirlunicorn @wabisabigrl @myhealingstar @khaleesi-marvel @ei77777 @spacecrumbs @scarlettrosella @rocks-are-pretty-odd @confessionsofastrugglingteen  @easilydistractedwriter @arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77 @fluffyllamaswearinghats @milktearose @lcyouinhell @h0tshotholland @dontmesswithmemundane @southsidesarcasticwriter @helnik-s @lilith-akemi @fire-in-her-veinz @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt @mischievousbellerina @kcd15 @mellowgirl01 @lokislilcaribbeanprincess @allthingzhiddleston @scorpionchild81 @lokixme @vast-ish @blue-automne @galaxycharmed @devilbat @kangaroobunny @end-up-well @planetariumx @sarcsep @mrfandomtastic @amaru163 @im-way-too-many-fandoms @caswinchester2000 @kybaeza @little-scintilla @vintagesunshinebitch @adefectivedetective

[misssunflowersandsangria]

The Arrangement

Chapter 6:  The Performance 

Welcome back, my wonderful readers!  We’re racing towards the end of this story!  Thank you for stopping by!  I'll be happy if this helps take your mind off of the world for a little bit.  Enjoy the chapter :D 

Summary:  They've danced around their feelings for long enough now. 

*

**

“Step 2, ugh this is the worst one yet.” Shikamaru waited with bated breath worried. 

“It’s a dinner followed by a dance.” 

He just stared for a moment waiting for more information.“Oh, that’s it?”

“Yup. This is where we need your mom and some Naras. The dinner is supposed to consist of food half from Suna and half traditional Konoha dishes.”  He nodded knowing that his mom would love to have a whole kitchen staff to boss around. 

He just shrugged.  “Doesn’t seem too bad.”

“I have to perform a dance.” 

Never in his life did he expect the cruelest kunoichi of their generation to make such a statement. Thus he couldn’t help the bubble of laughter. 

“Shut up! It’s not that funny!”

“Yes, actually it is.” He couldn’t imagine his murderous warrior prancing around on a stage. 

Temari just rolled her eyes annoyed, but her lips quirked into a smile at his laugh. He didn’t laugh often and she wished that he could do so much more. 

“Anyways, it’s a traditional dance girls are taught from a young age. It’s a way for Suna to share part of its culture with my suitor and his family.” 

“Do I have to do anything?”

“No, you just get to sit there and watch it like it’s the most incredible thing that you’ve ever seen.”

“I'm sure it will be.” He teased her and he should have expected her tackling him to the floor. 

Despite her best efforts, he continued to laugh amused while she half-heartedly pounded at his chest. That is until she fell into a fit of laughter herself. She wasn’t sure whether she was happy, tired or overwhelmed but it felt good. If Shikamaru never laughed she sure as hell didn’t but like so many other things he brought that joy out of her. 

Once the laughing spell had passed they laid there on the floor in warm familiarity her head tucked into his neck. 

“You think I can do this?”  She asked, feeling a little insecure. War, battles, missions were easy, but there was a kind of vulnerability inherent in all these rituals. This wasn’t the kind of attention she wanted. 

He kissed her forehead affectionately, his arm tightening around her.  “I know you can.” 

*

**

Shikamaru’s arm was wrapped casually around Temari while they laughed and joked along with their friends and clansmen.  It felt similar to some of the time that she’d spend in Konoha, carefree nights that would turn into mornings.  

All-day long Shikamaru had been affectionate, holding hands, kisses lingering on her head.  At first, she assumed that it was just to perpetuate the lie, but it seemed all the more sincere and he was seeking out those moments.  Whatever his reasoning she fell into it the comfort and warmth the safety of his arms gave her.  Even now she leaned into his chest as they enjoyed the company of friends and family.  

The dinner was more enjoyable than she expected.  She loved the food from Suna and enjoyed it being paired with the food from Konoha.  She’d spent many family dinners with the Naras and when she was home she’d often crave Yoshino’s home-cooked meals.  She could tell that her brothers and everyone else that had been invited were enjoying it as well. Yoshino had worked the kitchen to the bone wanting to make sure it was all perfect and their hard work paid off. The food was delicious and there were few things that she enjoyed more than feeding the people she cared about. 

Temari didn’t take for granted that they were able to eat a meal together like this.  People from different villages, clans, and places breaking bread together. Years ago this would not have been possible.  Years ago Shikamaru had been her enemy. How times had changed. 

Shikamaru’s hand was curved tightly around Temari’s waist.   His fingers lightly brushed over patches of exposed skin and he could feel goosebumps where their skin touched. He knew that he needed to talk to her about the feelings that he’d finally begun to accept, but his heart had been broken in so many ways. If she was to reject his feelings this was one heartbreak he wouldn’t survive. 

“Do you have to get ready soon?” He whispered over to her his fingers easily threading through her hair. Temari nodded solemnly knowing that her performance would be up soon. 

Shikamaru tapped the pendant of her necklace with a soft grin. A wordless and sweet reminder.

“I’m excited to see it.”

“Why? Do you want to see me embarrass myself?”

He sighed, she was still so stubborn.  “Of course not. I know it’s out of your comfort zone but I’m proud of you and I know it will go well. Tem, it means a lot to me that you’d do this. I’ve enjoyed being here and learning about Suna and your traditions.”  He was so damn sincere and it was making her hesitancy wane. 

Her hand went to cup his cheek warmth and affection in her eyes. “Okay, this is for you.” 

*

**

Temari paced back and forth behind the curtain trying to calm herself down.   

“Stop it!  You’re making me nervous!”  Ino scolded her pausing her movements.  

“Sorry, I just can't believe that I’m being forced to do this.” 

Ino just stared at her confused.  “For as long as I’ve known you no one has ever been able to make you do anything you didn’t want to. It’s okay to enjoy it.  I know that the rituals might seem a little outdated but you’re an actual princess living out a fairy tale.”

“You don’t think that it’s stupid?”

“No, I don’t think so, it’s kind of nice actually.”

“Why?”

“You’re welcoming Shikamaru into your village and culture.  There’s something sweet and timeless about it.  When Sai and I get married and he becomes a Yamanaka there are certain steps to it.  It’s not as elaborate but I’m excited about it.  When my mom married my dad she had to go through it so in a lot of ways going through these rituals honors his memory and everyone else that has come before us.”  Temari had never thought about it that way.

“As Kunoichi, we have a lot of different expectations placed on us.  We’re expected to be strong warriors, but also to carry on bloodlines by bringing new life to the village and caring for our families. There’s so much to live up to but in some ways, I think that we’re lucky because we found partners that would never force us to be just one thing.  I know in some ways it might feel like you’re losing your freedom but maybe in this case you’re actually gaining something.   Shikamaru can be a lot of things but he’s always been your biggest supporter.  He’d never force you to do anything or be anything you didn’t want.”

Temari couldn’t help but smile. She was right.  She was lucky to find someone that supported her goals in life, that never tried to change her. “Thank you Ino, and thank you for doing this for me.”  While she remained in Konoha she had enlisted Ino to help her. She needed a few women to dance along with her and the blonde jumped at the opportunity. Temari thought that it would be a nice way to integrate his life into their traditions. 

Ino just waved off her appreciation, throwing an arm around her. “Shikamaru is my brother so that makes you my sister.  We’re family now.  We’ve gotta stick together.”

A sister, it was a concept that she’d never considered but she couldn't help but like the idea.  Over the years she’d grown to appreciate and respect the blonde.  She was a strong, fearless and capable kunoichi that cared greatly for the people in her life.  Temari was thankful that she was counted amongst them.  This would only make it all the more difficult when they revealed the truth about their “relationship.”  Everyone in his life had welcomed her with open arms and she was terrified of disappointing them all. 

Ino began preparing the other girls while Temari peered from behind the curtain to where Shikamaru was sitting with her brothers, his mom and Choji. That was her family out there. The stability, sense of home and belonging she’d always wanted was there with them.  She was fearless, a storm and she was tired of being some kind of pawn. The council may have forced her hand, but she had still chosen Shikamaru and she knew that in all situations, times and places she’d always choose him.  In a twisted way, she was thankful for what they had done and caused her to realize. 

Why couldn’t they be together? What was the harm in making this relationship real? Was it so far-fetched for them to be a couple when everyone around them seemed to believe that they belonged together?  She was tired of hiding behind duty, and tradition. For blaming everyone else for what was happening. She needed to be honest with him because she finally felt like she was being honest with herself. He was only going to be in Suna for a few more days. She was working with borrowed time. 

For now, she tried to put those thoughts aside playing in her head the dance steps when Gaara and Kankuro appeared. Garra was set to introduce her but they both looked like there was something more to be said. 

“Come on Temari, let's have a moment before you go out there.”   They walked out of the large room into a private study.

They both stared at her for a moment. She’d been dressed in traditional Suna fashion, bright embroidered fabric, make-up done and adorned in priceless jewels.  Even now her costume was elaborately made with brilliant colored cloths. She very much looked like a princess. 

“Temari, are you sure about this.  You can still back out.  We will deal with the Council.  We know that you don’t like this kind of attention.” They wanted one last chance to intervene before she made a spectacle of herself unnecessarily. 

Temari knew that her brothers were still worried about her but as she reflected on the last few days and really the last few years she knew what she wanted.  Why she just “let” this happen the way that it did. 

She just shook her head. “No, I’m okay.  To be honest, I want this.  I want Shikamaru as my suitor, to really have him become part of our family one day.  It’s real to me now, all of it, as silly as it might be. If these rituals are what it takes then I’m all for it. ”  They both just smiled at her neither one surprised by the revelation.  It was nice to see her look determined and ready to take her life back in her hands. 

“Does he know this?”

“No, I wanted to get through this first.  I won’t ask for permission but I’d like your support?”  It had just been the three of them for so long now she was bringing someone else into the fold. 

Garra placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.  “You are our sister. We will always support you. If Shikamaru is who you want then he's good enough for us.”

“Hey if he’s crazy enough to take you on for the rest of his life and become a part of this family he’s pretty damn brave.” Kankuro teased her trying to keep the emotion out of his voice. Temari was his big sister and best friend, he was happy that she’d found someone worthy of her that would love and take care of her the way that she deserved.

She just hugged them both thankful that despite it all, through life, tragedy, and war she still had her baby brothers.  

*

**

The room fell silent as Gaara stood at the center to address the guests. 

“Shikamaru, it has been a great honor for us to have you and your family here in Suna. Now more than ever it’s important to show not only our familiar bonds but to strengthen the ones that we share with those miles away from us. You have shown us that love can cross the driest deserts to the deepest forests.  My people, the time for mourning and sadness has passed. We must look towards the desert sunrise to a new day. One filled with joy and laughter, of singing and dancing. And so it is an honor for me to present to you the crowned jewel of Suna, our Princess Temari.” 

The crowd watched enthralled as the women appeared on stage in gorgeous and elaborate costumes with fans in their hands.  Shikamaru’s eyes were glued on Temari’s form as she moved gracefully with the music.  She was incredible and he couldn’t understand her hesitance. She was a natural as her body moved fluidly through each step her hands waving the fans in elaborate gestures. He watched in a daze as each long and lean limb moved with intention through the air, his eyes following each line and curve. Her face was set in that familiar look of pure determination. She was there to prove herself capable and better than anyone could have ever expected. He didn’t doubt that the room was stunned by the level of precision and grace present. 

“She’s beautiful.”  He vaguely heard his mom remarked. Her eyes opened in wonder and pride. 

Temari while she complained and resisted this whole process had demonstrated the dignity and strength of her bloodline. She was truly Suna’s princess and he hoped she'd be his queen. 

Once the performance concluded the crowd erupted in loud cheers.  Shikamaru made his way towards Temari, pulling her into his arms.  Overwhelmed by love and emotion he couldn’t help but place a sweet, warm kiss against her lips.  He was not the least bit ashamed of being affectionate towards her in front of all these people. 

“You were amazing Tem.”  She just blushed embarrassed by the attention and impromptu kiss. 

Once the cheers had died down they faced their guests hand in hand.  As part of this event, he was supposed to make a statement to Suna.  Initially, he’d been nervous never being one for public speeches, preferring his work to be behind the scenes. After what he’d seen Temari do he no longer had that hesitation. 

“Thank you, Lord Gaara, the wonderful citizens of Suna and my Princess Temari for welcoming us to your village and home. Sunagakure is a strong, proud and wonderful country that we have been fortunate to learn more about. I am humbled by the kindness and friendship that we have been shown.”  Shikamaru looked down at the girl holding onto him so tightly.  “Temari, my love.  Thank you for choosing me.  I will spend the rest of our days together proving that I’m worthy of you.”  

Everyone was completely floored by the sincere love present between them. Their relationship represented a new chapter in Suna’s story, one that proved that the world had changed.   

The rest of the evening's festivities consisted of more food, drinks, and celebration.  The Konohagakure delegation would be leaving soon so it was an opportunity to enjoy each other’s company for a little while more. 

Shikamaru remained by Temari’s side for the rest of the night, not wanting to be more than a few feet away at any given moment.  Ever so often she’d reach up to place a chaste kiss against his lips and it made them both breathless with anticipation for when they could finally be alone.

They were finally going to have this conversation that was years in the making.

 The Arrangement:

Chapter 1:  The Set-Up

Chapter 2: The Proposition

Chapter 3: The Participants

Chapter 4:  The Declaration

Chapter 5: The Fear

Chapter 6: The Performance 

Important Notes:

Temari’s dance was inspired by traditional Japanese dances.  They are really pretty so look them up! 

There are maybe 3 more chapters to this story then it will be all done. 

Ino and Temari would totally get along and be good friends! 

**

The world is a crazy place right now.  Please be good to yourself and others. Do what you need to keep yourself happy, healthy and safe.  Good hygiene and good self-care right now! I don’t know when, or how but it will all be okay, I’m here and I love you! 

[charmisticdisappointment]

A Special New Year. Chapter 5 : Are you the One?

Hey guys!

Here's Part 5 of pure Chris Evans Fluff!

Please ignore the writing in this one. Something I had randomly written few years ago!

Please note that none of pictures used in this are mine and credit goes to the respective creators!

Hope you all are safe and enjoy this!

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The past few days have been a dream. You and Chris have been hanging out a lot more than anyone imagined. Things were moving so quickly. Chris was more welcome at your home than you yourself :P. You were once running a little late to go out for a movie with Chris cause you ended up burning the shirt you were ironing while Chris waited in the living room talking to everyone like he'd known them for ages. Pulling your hair into a rough pony you ran into the living room to find no Chris. To your surprise Chris along with your mom and sister-in-law were in the kitchen, baking.

"Hey" you said walking in as Chris pulled out the cake your mom was baking out of the oven. "Cream Cheese or Buttercream frosting?" he asked while the three stared at you. "Hmm whipped cream!", you said as they laughed at you. "I told you she'll say whipped cream" your mom commented as she pulled out a bowl to work on the icing. "Yes you did" said Chris extending his arm and pulling you close. You didn't go to the movies that day. While your mom whipped the cream Chris offered to make mulled wine for all. "You sure you don't want to go to the movies?", you asked. "Nope. I'm craving cake and mulled wine", he said making everyone laugh as he started cutting into fresh oranges while you helped him gather all the spices.

You shared this unexplainable comfort with him. Curled up to him on the sofa in the living room, digging into the banana cake and drinking mulled wine, while your parents narrated all the embarrassing stories from my childhood seeming to quite enjoy themselves was a first in many years. You often checked on him, assuring him that he didn't have to spend time with your family because they asked and can say 'No' when he wants to. But he genuinely wanted to stay.

Your niece was growing very fond of him. She'd share random secrets from  school, about you and sometimes funny details of your brother with Chris. And Chris was so good with kids. Every time he'd come home to pick you up while going anywhere, he'd make sure to get a hug from your niece cause as they both air quoted, "It's essential!".

Once Chris planned a surprise trip to the park with just the kids. You had such a fun time preparing the snacks and picking out emergency supplies. By emergency supplies Chris meant more snacks. All the snacks in the world were never enough! You didn't expect it to be such a fun day. You thought you and Chris would have to be more like nannies than a fun aunt and uncle but you were so wrong. The whole ride to the park, Chris and the kids sang along to Disney tunes. It was adorable. Once you reached the park, you found a quiet spot in the shade and laid out the blanket as all the kids jumped in. It always took time for kids to get used to you, you never knew why but kids were always scared of you. But that changed that day. Chris' niece and nephews seemed to like you a lot, informing you of everything in the park. Chris' nephew Miles would run up to you every five minutes and give you updates "I saw a bird", "Can I take home the branches I collect", "Can I have more cake" and when he tripped he came running asking for a hug. Chris was quick to take his phone and capture the moment as Miles sobbed hugging you tight. "He's in love with you" he said making you smile. 

Soon the kids got tired and came to lie down. Funnily everyone wanted to lay down on your lap, including the biggest baby of all, Chris. After a bit of a cuddle battle between the kids and Chris, they made a master strategy to get Chris to lay on your lap and the kids to lay on his, that way they'd get the best of both of you. Though there was immense fault in their logic you adored them all. Enjoying the cool breeze, their chatter was soon replaced by slight snores.  

**Something like the image below. Pearson's Fam!**

To your surprise, the biggest baby was taking a quick snooze too. You bent down and kissed him on the forehead which woke him up and you couldn't help but chuckle.

"Its getting dark Chris. We better head home. I'm going to wake these little tots up before their in a deep slumber or else we'd have to carry them all!" you said caressing his cheek.

"I want more evenings like this" Chris thought out loud bringing a wide smile to your face.

"Me too" you whispered pinching his cheeks. "But now, we got to head home".

He slowly waked the kids who were clearly unhappy about it. Soon you packed up, and picked up Miles who demanded to be carried to the car in his cute voice, while Chris carried the girls who immediately went back to sleep on his shoulders. Placing them all in the car was a task even for Captain America. But you both succeeded.

Chris carried your niece to the door since your hands were full with the picnic basket.

"Thanks for planning the picnic today Chris. I really had a lot of fun!", you said as your brother opened the door.

"Fast asleep is she?" your brother asked as he carried her into the house.

Once your brother left you two alone Chris replied, "I promise we'll have many more".

Y/N : "I'm holding onto that promise!".

All of a sudden Chris confessed.

C : "I love you"

Y/N : "I'm sorry what?"

C : "I love you! I can't believe I waited this long but I'm in love with you!"

Time froze as you looked into his glistening eyes.

C : "Y/N..?"

Y/N : "I love you too!" you said in lightening speed.

C : "I'm sorry what was that?" he joked laughing like the happiest man on earth.

Y/N : "I said I loved you, you dork" you said laughing.

Chris quickly pulled you in for a kiss.

C : "You think it's too soon?"

Y/N : "The only thing I think is life's too short. And I love you"

You said pulling him in for another kiss. You immediately heard a loud "Ewww!!! I don't wike it!!!" from the car and you both didn't have to look to know who that was.

"Alright Alright Miles!" Chris said laughing as he hugged you a goodbye and walked towards the car. You waved them goodbye as Chris drove out of sight. However you had a small knot in your stomach, not the good kind. You didn't know why you felt this way after such an amazing day.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once you were clean and changed into comfortable pyjamas, you headed to your mom's room who was intently reading something sitting on the bed. You got on bed and rested your head on her lap. She immediately put her book away and asked how your day was. You didn't seem the notice the change in your voice while you told her everything.

"Y/N, is something wrong?", your mother asked.

"Mom, can I ask you something?"

" Of course dear. Anything".

"Well I have this feeling about..."

And before you could complete. "About Chris. About whether you two are taking it too fast, whether he's the one for for you and all those questions which are clouding this little head?" she asked. "Did I nail it?", your mom asks smiling at you. She just did.

"Mom I'm just so confused. I just told him life is short and I loved him but is it really possible to fall in love with a man in just a few months. I haven't been in any relationship for the past many years and out of now where Chris comes and changes everything", you say with tears in your eyes.

Your mom pulls you up and gets you to sit, grabs your hand and says " You've always been scared of relationships Y/N. Let me tell you something about love. It doesn't knock often. But when it does you got to let it in. Chris is an amazing guy. Trust me. We moms always know. Its our super power. Your dad has a good feeling about him too!"

"We just have our families involved too deep. I know everyone at home have grown fond of him, especially my little niece who can't seem to keep any of my secrets!" you said laughing as you sob. "I just don't want us to end badly hurting everyone in that process!".

Your mom wiped off the tears and went on to say, "You and Chris remind me of your dad and I. We were practically strangers three months before we got married, and I haven't regretted it a bit. Well sometimes when he doesn't fix the sink" she said making you laugh. "But what we found was too precious to let these doubts, which even I had and I'm sure your dad had too back then, get in the way. I don't think you'll end badly. For all I care I know you'll be very happy with Chris and Chris will be equally happy with you."

You sighed disbelievingly.

"Oh stop it. Don't think I haven't noticed how Chris looks at you while you're talking about things as boring as Artificial Intelligence!"

"AI is not boring!"

"To me it is. Don't interrupt me. And young lady, I've also noticed how you look at him when he plays around and hugs the kids, or talks about politics which you hate. I've seen you both. I know what you both have is worth fighting for and holding on to. Just let your heart make the decisions this time will you?"

"I will" . "And Mom....I'm in love with Chris", you said smiling like an idiot.

Your mom sighed. "I knew it from the day he came home to pick you up for your final dance lesson and pulled you into his arms", she said pulling you into a hug.

As you walked out of your mom's room, you texted Chris. "You're the one." 

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Hope you all enjoyed it!

30 Days of Chris : @jtargaryen18​

[fiesta-freddie]

I love yr blog! how would each of the beatles react to you being pregnant at a young age? thanks sooooo much! i know you’re very busy but i hope you can get around to it?

A/n: I’ve wanted to do one of these for a while now, so thank you for requesting it! I had a lot of fun with it (if you can’t tell from reading it) Feedback is always appreciated!

Paul

When you first give him the news that you’re pregnant he has a look of shock on his face

“Paul what’s the matter?”

“Wait wait now hold on just a minute.”

“Yes Paul?”

“Y/N, If we fucked twice and now your pregnant...does that mean your having twins?”

*mental face palm*

You loved this man but sometimes his level of thinking blew your mind

“No Paul, just because we fucked twice does not mean I’m having twins.”

“Oh thank God” he’d say with a sigh of relief

“But I am still pregnant so weather it’s twins or not there’s still going to be a baby.”

He nods to show he understand

But soon his nod turns into a slow head shake

And his eyes begin to water

A frown falls upon his face

Not even thirty seconds later he’s crying

Why? You don’t know

So keep reading to find out

“Paul why are you crying? You should be happy! Your finally going to be a father!”

He doesn’t think he’s good enough to be one though

“I know it’s just that- what if I can’t do it? What if I’m not capable of being a father? What if the baby doesn’t like me?”

“Paul I know for a fact the baby will absolutely love you and your going to be a great father, I know it. Sure it might be a little harder because we’re younger, but this is a learning experience for both of us.”

You sit and comfort him for a while until he calms down

Once Paul is done with his emotional breakdown he begins to come around more

He starts to talk about the baby which melts your heart because you can see a sparkle in his eyes as he does so

He really does want to be a father and he wants to help you as much as he can

You two start to talk about names

“If its a girl we’ll name her Paulina and if it’s a boy Paul Jr!”

*mental face palm once again*

“Okay...so maybe we should give a little more thought into names before deciding, but I love the enthusiasm”

He talks about your future and how he wants to make sure you have everything you’ll ever need

“-and once the boys and I make it big, I’ll buy us a brand new house in the countryside! I’ll buy anything you could possibly need! We can take vacations to the IsIe of Wight every summer!”

“Paulie, baby love, you don’t need to spend every cent you make on us. As long as I have you and the baby that’s all I’ll ever need.”

He leans in with that adorable smile of his and cups your face in his hands pressing a gentle kiss to your lips

Then he moves his head down so it’s level with your stomach as kisses it.

“Paul what are you doing?”

He looks up at you, hands still in your sides. “I’ve got to give one to the baby too.”

John

Your nervous to give John the news at first

Its because you think he’ll leave you after the baby is born

Of course you don’t want that, no one does

But you decide to tell him anyways, because its better to get it done and over with instead of waiting to do it

What else were you supposed to do? 

Wait seven months before telling him

“Oh hey John, sorry for waiting seven months before telling you, but i’m pregnant! You see how my stomach has gotten bigger? Yeah, its not because I’ve gained an excessive amount of weight, no no its because I’m carrying another human inside of me...yeah so your gonna be a father now!”

Obviously you weren't going to do that (...unless?)

You find John and sit him down to tell him the news

“John there something I need to talk to you about, it serious.”

“Sure sweetheart, what is it?”

You hesitate at first

“Well John I- I don’t really know how to tell you this, but um you see I’m uhh. Well, John I’m pregnant”

He’s silent for a moment before saying anything

“Wait i need to know something important”

“Yes, John?”

“Am I the father?”

*prolonged silence*

“Yes John your the father”

He gets a sudden burst of excitement

He picks you up and spins you around

And he starts to cry a little too

That’s right ladies and gentlemen, the unexpected has happened

John Winston Lennon is crying real tears

*cue emotional music*

“Y/N this is so exciting I’m gonna be a dad!”

It wasn't the reaction you were expecting from him, but you weren't complaining 

He promises to be a better father than his ever was

he knows how important it is to the both of you 

“I’ll look after the little guy all time! I’ll play with him and he can even share the same special star my mother gave to me! Then maybe when hes old enough I can teach him the guitar!”

It warms your heart to see that he is genuinely interested in being a father

“Your going to be a wonderful father John, I can already tell.”

George

Absolutely thrilled when you give him the news

“Y/N this is wonderful, I’m going to be a father! I’M GOING TO BE A FATHER!”

He doesn’t stop talking about it

The first thing he does is call the rest of the boys to tell them the news

He also calls his parents

And your parents

And your other close friends

He makes sure all your craving needs are met

No matter how weird they may seem

“George? You know what sounds really good right now? Tomatoes and icing!”

“Did you- Icing? Like the kind you put on a cake?”

“Yes what other kind would I be talking about?”

“And you want that with a tomato? Like as in a regular plain tomato?”

“Umm yeah?”

So because George loves you so much he makes sure that you get exactly what you want

Sometimes you even convince him to eat some of your weird craving foods too

“Come on Geo, it doesn't taste that bad. Just give it a little try”

He does

He ends up liking some of them

“Sometimes I wish I was the pregnant one so I could eat this stuff without it being weird”

“No you don’t”

Hes extra cautious with a lot of things pretty much everything

And he offers to do almost everything for you even if your capable of doing it yourself

Like with doors

He’ll hold them open and make sure you get through okay

“Hey! Everyone shes pregnant okay? Let her go through the door first and wait till shes all the way through before you go in? Got it? Good”

“Jesus George, I’m pregnant not disabled”

Its only because he loves you and wants to protect you

“But Y/N, it’s my duty to protect you and be by your side at all times...especially when the baby’s born”

You give him a small peck on the lips

“Thanks Geo”

Ringo

Okay let’s get onto Bingo

Wait....

I did this last time

Okay anyways here’s what’s up

Ringo is out here being very protective of, not just you, but the fetus inside of you too

The moment you tell him that your pregnant he baby proofs the entire house

He puts away all the things that could potentially cause harm to a new born child

Sharp objects? Hidden in cupboards (if you look hard enough you might even find Roger in there, who knows?)

Any form of glass? Stored away

Rugs and blankets? In the closets

Jewelry? In the drawer

Hotel? Trivago

I’ve made that joke so many times it’s not even funny any more

Anywhomst, back to

Richard Starkey

Pringle Stone

Richie Tozier (yeah that’s right, I did that😏)

Ringo Starr

“Ritchie, you don’t have to worry. And besides the baby isn’t even going to be here for another nine months”

“Y/N it’s always better to be safe than sorry.”

He goes full mom mode

Constantly cleaning and sanatizing everything

Washing clothes, bedsheets and towels all the time

“Ringo, honey you don’t need to go overboard on the cleaning. I appreciate it a lot, but don’t you think it’s a little much? I mean especially if the baby isn’t going to be here anytime soon”

“Y/N babies can get sick very easily”

He doesn’t want your child to end up like he did

Sick all the time

In and out of hospitals

Missing out on opportunities

“I just want the little fella to have a good childhood, ya know? Better than what I had to go through”

“Ringo, I know that the baby will have a great childhood. I mean look at us! We’re going to be great parents, I know it!”

“You think so?”

“Honey, I know so”

👏CUDDLES

👏ALL

👏THE

👏TIME

(Part of it is because blankets are being washed half the time)

When you two cuddle he always ALWAYS, wraps his arms around your stomach because he says “it’s like we’re cuddling with the baby too”

You two usually end up falling asleep like that and wake up in the morning wrapped in each other’s arms

“Good Morning Ritchie” you kiss him on the head

“Good morning, love”

He faces down towards your stomach and places a gentle kiss on it

“Good morning little one”

————

Taglist: @beatlevmania @givemequeen @harrimoon @wrongbea-tle @princesof-theuniverse @john-lemonade

If you want to be added to the taglist let me know!

[xserpentlife]

Open Your Eyes - Chap 4 (Birth)

Requested: Anon Hello! Can I request a fangsxreader where she’s jughead sister and dating Fangs and instead of Fangs the reader is the one who gets shot and fangs is like super worried and thinking that reader could die? I love loveloveeee your blog so much thanks.

A/N: here is the long-awaited chap 4, I wrote this one a different way and I was going to put it into chapters but I figured I mine as well give it to you all at once. I hope you guys love it as much as I do. 

Warnings: None that I can think of except cursing and talks of pregnancy and birth.

Word Count: almost 6000

Taglist: @chipster-21

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

First Trimester

Coming home wasn’t bad you moved in with Fangs full time since you had planned to before the accident anyway. He was the sweetest to you, constantly helping. You couldn’t walk alone for a bit. It was tough for the first two weeks you couldn’t stand for longer than 10 minutes at a time due to the pain. The Serpents were being beyond helpful with everything, meals were constantly being brought to your trailer and everyone was spending time with you especially Toni and Sweet Pea. Healing was going pretty well but honestly, the worst part was the nausea. At first, you didn’t have much morning sickness but the second week home you felt like it was all you were doing. Yeah, most people get morning sickness but for you, it was so much worse. The gunshot wound you had was still healing and it was situated right below your bra line. Every time that you would lean over to throw up a massive pain would rip through your entire body. But you didn’t wanna bother Fangs with it and he was quite the heavy sleeper so you didn’t have to. That was until you got up by yourself one morning to go throw up and you bent over to quickly causing one of your stitches to tear, eliciting a loud scream from you. Fangs ran in basically ripping the bathroom door off its hinges before seeing you curled on the floor in a white shirt with a small blood spot forming.

“Baby, baby oh my god what happened”

“I… I don’t know Fangs”

“Baby let me see” He lifted your shirt slowly.

“Okay baby you tore a stitch, it’s gonna be fine okay. I’m gonna carry you to the car and we are going to go to the hospital, okay?”

“I don’t wanna go back Fangs I just got home”

“I know babe, but gotta make sure bub is good okay”

“Fangs what if…”

“No everything's fine just need to fix you up a bit”

“Okay” You tried standing up we're having trouble standing

“C'mere” He helped you stand and walk out to the truck keeping a  towel pressed to your stitches as he drove. “Baby we’re here let’s go in” after going into the doctor told you that you had torn a stitch throwing up. He was going to get you a prescription for anti-nausea meds so the likelihood of you tearing another one would be slim.

“You know babe I told you I didn’t wanna come back here unless it was for the baby”

“Yell well it was, they tore my stitch asshole”

“Already calling our baby an asshole are we?”

“Leave me be Fogarty”

“I just wanna go home and sleep”

“We can babe we can just pick the prescription up from the desk on the way out”

After you scare nothing else was really going on. Your stitches and wound healed flawlessly, your baby was healthy, and you and Fangs were happy as can be. You started having food cravings makings Fangs get up at two in the morning to get you the weirdest combinations but he really didn’t give a damn because he knew it was to make you and the baby happy. You had been spending a lot of time with friends and the other serpents trying to understand what it would be like to mom but everyone was always telling you you’d know when it happened. You would just ‘get it’ whatever that meant. Luckily Pea could keep your mind off of it his goofy self always scheming up some sort of trouble. He was coming over to watch movies with you and Fangs and he was bringing over some pizza. Do you waited so hungry you actually guaranteed Fangs that you would eat your pet pig if Pea didn’t hurry up. He knew you’d never hurt your sweet girl but thought it was funny that you were getting so hungry even though you ate less than an hour beforehand.

“He better hurry the fuck up Fogarty”

“I can’t control him”

“Ugh I'm dying!” and luckily he knocked on the door right then. You got up instantly grabbing the pizza from his hands.

“What I don’t get a hug or hello, or even a thanks for bringing you food”

“M’hungry you took too long jackass. But thank you” you ran up giving him a quick hug before sitting back down in front of the pizza. You saw him take fries out of a bag and then watched as he pulled out a wrapped sandwich.

“Pea if that is a cheesesteak I beg of you not to open it”

“I got a big one figured it’s your fav so we could all share”

“Don’t. Open. It!” But he did, and as soon as the smell hit your nose you were getting up almost tripping before Fangs caught you and ran with you to the bathroom door holding your hair back, Pea coming up behind you.

“What the fuck happened”

“She can’t eat them anymore, makes her sick”

“She just ate one like two weeks ago!”

“Makes her sick now, guess the baby doesn't like it. We went to the pizza shop on main like last weekend and as soon as she smelled one she was in the toilet throwing up we only figured it out cause we ordered one to go cause we figured she just got sick from nausea and when we got home and I opened it she threw up again”

“That’s weird as shit”

“Tell me about it! I’m sorry Pea but could you close it up maybe eat it later”

“Course Y/N”

“Thanks, Pea”

“No problem gotta make sure the little one is happy”

Second Trimester

Your first trimester went along relatively smoothly, yeah for sure you had nausea. Your baby made your life hell with the foods you used to love to eat and now hated, but overall it was pretty easy. Fangs was by your side through all of it and the Serpents for sure helped out a lot.

At the beginning of your second trimester, your baby bump was prominent. You remember the first time fangs saw it like it was yesterday. You were doing stuff around the trailer lazy as can be all day and had thrown on one of his shirts that you always wore. It was tighter than usual but honestly, you really didn’t care that much, you just wanted to be comfortable and you always were in his clothes. When he came home from work you were standing over the stove cooking dinner. He came in through the front door and saw you standing there sideways, and just dropped everything that he was holding. You looked over to him in shock not even hearing him come through the door.

“Babe, you okay?”

“I’m more than okay, oh my god Y/N”

“What?” “Your belly”

“Huh?”

“You haven’t looked in the mirror today, have you? No...”

“Cmon”

“But Fangs the food”

“Turn it off, please”

“Fine” he led you to the bedroom and stood you in front of the mirror slowly lifting the shirt over your belly you had just not paid any attention to recently.

“It looks like you started showing overnight”

“That’s impossible”

“Is it?”

“I don’t know to be honest”

“But I know how it will get bigger”

“How’s that?”

“The food on the stove cause I'm starving and I bet you are too”

“I’m always hungry Fogarty, your baby loves food”

“Just like daddy”

“Oh god now I'm gonna call you daddy”

“Baby you always call me daddy”

“Be good your baby is in here”

“Yeah how do you think it got there”

“You are so bad! Go finish the food”

“Okay princess you pick a movie okay?”

“Okay”

The middle of the second trimester was going smoothly expect you felt kinda gross, you started having a bit of hip pain and you actually kicked Fangs in the balls while sleeping. The doctor wasn’t kidding when she said you'd have leg spasms. You felt so bad after because he shot up in bed in shock and you had no idea you even did it until he yelled out what the fuck was that for and you woke up. Luckily it only happened once though.

The middle is where the bad parts started. You really just wanted to stay home and be left alone and do nothing but Fangs was not letting that happen at all.

“Baby I don’t wanna do anything!”

“Why not”

“Cause I don’t look good I look fat, I can barely see my feet, and I haven't been able to see my vagina or shave my legs in months I am a fucking hairy beast, now leave me the fuck alone”

“I’m not leaving you alone baby, this baby is partially my fault so it is only right that I tame the hairy beast”

“I’m gonna kill you”

“What I think your hair is cute”

“Fangs! Go! Away!”

“I’m! Not! Leaving! You!, Just let me help you!”

“Help me what?”

“I already ran the bath just go get in and I’ll be in, in a sec”

“Fine” You walked in a sat in the warm tub, it felt so nice on your hip and muscles and an instant relaxation hit your body instantly. He walked in shorts on and shirtless as he sat on the edge of the tub carefully grabbing your leg and situating it on the edge of the tub next to him at an angle.

“Fangs what are you doing?”

“Shaving your legs”

“You’re what!”

“Shaving your legs then you can’t be mad for being a hair beast”

“So I am hairy!”

“No, no I just know you wanna be shaven so I figured why not help since you can’t reach”

“It’s so gross though”

“Baby I’m about to watch you push out a baby in a few weeks I highly doubt this is that gross”

“Thank you”

“No need to thank me, baby, like I said I will always be here to help”

“Can you get in the bath with me after”

“Of course”

Towards the end, you were anxiously awaiting your baby shower. You didn’t want to have one but all the Serpents insisted that you needed to considering they have all been there throughout your pregnancy. Fangs sent you on a trip with Toni for a week or two, wanting you to have perfect relaxation before you got into the final run of the pregnancy. You were finally back and were going to meet him at the Wyrm. You walked in expecting nothing only to be surprised by all the Serpents and a bunch of rainbow balloons. You waved everyone hello as Toni handed you a mock mimosa.

“Thanks, T”

“No problem, you happy”

“I guess I just… why is everyone making this big of a fuss about me?”

“Because this is the first serpent baby we’ve had in like 5 years everyone is super excited, not many of these people have a huge family you know that”

“Yeah I guess, do you know where Fangs is?”

“He said he was coming later” You felt a tap on your shoulder to see Fangs behind you.

“Your back”

“I missed you so fucking much Fogarty never send me on a trip again unless you come”

“I’m sorry I just wanted you to have a good time”

“I did but I missed the fuck out of you, guess what?” “Hm?”

“I was playing videos of us cause I missed you, and the baby moved a little when you talked in the video”

“Really?”

“Mhm”

“Maybe tonight I can sing to her”

“I’d like that a lot”

“Hey do you think we should announce the gender”

“Mhm, I have an idea” You remembered seeing the board when you had walked in. The board with tallies on whether it was a boy or girl. So you pulled fangs with you and walked up to the board handing him chalk. As you both led your hands to the board everyone was watching as fangs circled girl and you crossed out boy. You never heard the Whyte Wyrm be so loud before. And as soon is it died down Toni was screaming “Gift Time”. In your opinion, it may have been the best part. Most of the Serpents have their own trade or skill. Some were sewers, some builders, some seamstresses, painters, finishers, chefs, etc. It was nice getting gifts that had just a bit of every one of them. But then came Pea as he came up a giant box wrapped in recycled newspapers. You appreciated the reuse of the paper.

“So I know it won’t work yet but I saw it and I had to buy it”

“Ok…” You opened the box to see a tiny toy motorcycle for your bay to ride. “Pea…”.

“You don’t like it… I know it was crazy I’m sorry I just thought maybe you would and if you're mad I can return it…”

“Stop, I love it”

“You do!”

“You do!” that is all you heard from everyone.

“Of course I do. Motorcycles are a big part of every one of us. This baby is going to grow up seeing them everywhere, so why not let her ride a little toy one. My baby is gonna be a badass and we all know it”

“I’m glad you said that” He handed you a smaller box that when you opened it was filled with a rubber throwing star.

“What is my baby is gonna be a ninja!? No Pea this is where I draw the line”

“Thought so, I’ll just give them to Fogarty to practice his aim”

“Hey! I have perfect aim, hence the bun in the oven”

“Fangs!”

“Ew Fogarty”

“You have one more gift baby” “I do? I don’t see any more”

“It’s not here if you wanna stay we can but your gift is at home”

“Oh okay, I mean it is late and I am kinda tired can we go?” “Yeah of course” You thanked everyone for coming and said goodbye. Fangs then helped you into his truck as he began the drive home. But he was taking a different way than normal.

“Fangs where are you going”

“Do you trust me?”

“Always”

“Then close your eyes for me and you can’t open them until I tell you”

“Uhm okay but you know if you wanted to kill me you should've done it before the bun”

“Your insane now close your eyes baby”

“Okay” So you sat with your eyes closed and slowly felt the rock come to a stop as you heard Fang’s door open and close and then heard yours open.

“Ready”

“Can I open my eyes”

“Not yet” He grabbed your hand leading you out of the truck before you came to a stop. “Okay, now”

“You opened your eyes to see a beautiful single story trailer like home. It was bigger than the RV trailer you were currently in.

“Fangs what…” You looked up to see a Welcome Home banner.

“Welcome home baby”

“What do you mean welcome home…”

“Well FP called, said this trailer was available it has three bedrooms since its super long oh and a living room and kitchen… clearly haha. So I sent you with Toni and Me, Pea and a bunch of the Serpents fixed it up during the week you were gone. I figure we would need more space you know with the baby coming and maybe if we eventually have another baby or a dog or something. I know it’s not a house or anything and I wish I could do more but…” You stepped up to him a hand landing on his cheek.

“Stop it. Don’t you ever and I mean ever apologize that you can’t do enough for us. Everything you do is incredible Fangs. You do so much more than I could even think to ask, and I love you so much for it. I would live in a cardboard box if it meant being with you. The fact that you did this for us I can’t even put into words how much I love you Fangs”

“I love you so much baby” Tears were flowing as he dragged you into the trailer. The trailer looked brand new.

“Fangs this is…”

“Do you not like it, we can change the color if…”

“No Fangs, this is beautiful”

“Oh thank god, do you wanna see the nursery”

“Mhm,” He led you to a room down the hallway after showing you your master in and of itself was freaking beautiful. Nicer than any room you ever had in your life. You could tell how careful he was at matching the colors, how well he listened to the things you liked. He opened the door to the nursery to reveal a perfectly sized room. It was beautiful, there was a chair for you to sit, the walls were paneled with tea, black and white paint as well as brown wood. And then you looked to the center to see a very unique crib, it was round something you had never seen. But what hit you the most was the fact and that you and fangs hadn’t really talked much about the nursery in the past few months. But the fact that he remembered the one time you had said you wouldn’t wanna make your baby girls room pink if you ever had a girl hit a nerve in you. The fact that he remembered that one small detail made your heart swell.

“Fangs… I love it”

“Oh thank god I’m so glad I didn’t know and everyone was telling me to do pink but I know you said you wouldn’t wanna force pink or blue on a child wanting them to grow up how they wanted and so I told everyone you’d love it this way and im so glad you do”

“I love it so much it’s honestly perfect and I love this crib it’s so unique”

“Yeah, I uh couldn’t find one to fit in here that I liked and I didn't want it anchored on a wall cause the room looked smaller, anyway Lynae came in”

“Pea’s aunt?”

“Mhm, anyway she came in cause she wanted to see the teal to get Andi to make the pillows for the chair and saw that I still needed one and told me not to buy one. A few days later, this was on the porch with a note saying she made it and everything. I already thanked her don’t worry. But yeah I never would have thought a round crib”

“It’s beautiful”

“Oh and toni picked up some of the decorations, and Pea apparently helped pick out the fabrics for the curtains and stuff”

“No way”

“Mhm”

“Wow”

“Baby…”

“Yeah?” “Are you happy?”

“Of course I am why?”

“I just… I know it’s all so fast ya know. Like you get shot found out were having a baby and then we move in together and then I get us this bigger trailer and… I don’t know I just wanna make sure your happy”

“We practically lived together anyway Fangs, and regardless no matter where we are I always wanna be with you, because where I am doesn’t matter because when I am with you I’m happy”

“I love the both of you so fucking much”

Third Trimester

The third trimester was going along quite smoothly in a way it was the easiest part of your pregnancy even though you felt like every time you walked you were carrying a bag of bricks. But Fangs was helping out with everything and being the sweetest as possible so you couldn’t really complain.

The beginning of your third trimester went along quite well. The first time Fangs really felt and saw the baby move. It was incredible. You were at the Wyrm most of the day before coming home to go to bed. You hadn’t eaten much for some reason you were super nauseous during the day so as you were laying in bed Fang’s hand on your belly he felt your stomach move a little.

“Is mama hungry?”

“Huh?

“You hungry baby”

“Not really.. Stomach still hurts a… OW”

“Holy shit!” he was watching your stomach, completely saw the foot that had just kicked you. “I saw it Y/N, I saw her foot!”

“Yeah and I felt it jesus christ it’s like shes a god damn kick boxer”

“Oh, baby are you okay?” “Yeah, yeah I’m good” He laid his head next to your belly before slowly singing a song to your almost grown bean. She was moving slightly at the sound of his voice and eventually stilled. To you, it was almost as if she had fallen asleep.

At the middle of your third trimester, you had decided to go to the mall by yourself. You needed to pick up a birthday gift for Toni. However, it didn’t go to plan because as you were walking through the mall you heard a baby cry, and then after you were walking towards the store you kept seeing people looking at your breasts. You felt very uncomfortable so you went to the bathroom to see if there was something on your shirt and of course something you didn’t expect to happen did. Your breasts leaked because of the baby you heard crying like motherly instinct or some bullshit you didn’t care. You were upset and pissed off. You had Fangs drop you off at the mall saying you needed alone time so you called him to pick you up and he did instantly.

“Baby are you ok…”

“No Fangs I’m not do you see my shirt!, Just bring me home!”

“I brought you one of mine you can slip on if you want”

“Thanks” He eventually pulled up to your home as you waddled your way inside you saw Pea sitting on the couch. “Ugh!” You ran to your bedroom laying flat back against the bed and stared up at the ceiling.

“Baby cmon talk to me, what happened?”

“No Fangs it’s embarrassing”

“Baby I've been with you for a while through thick and thin I don’t think anything you do could be that embarrassing to me”

“My boobs leaked okay”

“What do you mean”

“I don’t know Fangs I just got Toni’s gift and I was gonna walk around and shop some more but then I heard a baby cry and all these people started looking at me so I went into the bathroom and my fuckingshirt had wet spots on it. I think I leaked” He walked over instantly placing his hands onto your cheeks.

“Baby that isn’t embarrassing at all that is your body telling you that you are ready for this abby. Your body saying that you are ready to protect your own child and provide them with what they need”

“But baby It was so embarrassing”

“Yeah well I don’t think those people should have been staring it is a natural thing that happens, how bout I go put a few extra shirts in the car and one in your backpack that way if it happens again you’ll have clothes”

“That would be good thankyou baby”

“Course”

You waddled out to the living room to see Pea sitting on the couch. “Hey pea”

“Hey Y/N you okay”

“Yeah Fangs made it better I was having a moment”

“Ahh hormones”

“We don’t have to talk about this Pea”

“No it’s okay I wantto how has everything been since…”

“Oh my god the fight yeah my hormones were raging that night, but that guy deserved it who the fuck parks behind someones truck so they can’t get out and then he hit your bike! I don’t know why Fangs was so mad”

“Y/N I get where your coming from like you had every right to be pissed Iget that however, you are very pregnant. You’re what 28 weeks…”

“30”

“Okay 30 weeks and you literally punched a guy in the face!”

“Yeah and I knocked his ass out cold”

“You did which I’m impressed but… if you didn’t and he came at you, you could’ve been hurt he was just trying to be protective”

“I know”

“You guys talking about me”

“Hey babe”

“Always Fogarty, I’m the only one she complains to”

“Good to know”

“I’ll be right back guys gotta Pee” You got up waddling to the bathroom but before you shut the door you heard Pea

“Hahaha look at her waddle”

“You do realize she can kill you and get away with it, right?”

“Okay your not wrong”

“Sweet Pea! I heard that! Don’t forget what I did to the guy at the Wyrm!”

“Couldn’t dream of it now go pee before you pee yourself”

“Okay, that was one time!”

“Yeah on my carpet!”

“Ugh”

However,  the end of the third trimester came and you were miserable. It felt like your back was breaking your hips were tearing out of your body and you for some reason had headaches almost all the time. You were more than ready to get this baby out of you. You were at the Wyrm, knowing that in a month you most likely wouldn't be for a little while considering you’d have a newborn. You were hanging out with everyone and it was going pretty smooth. Fangs was talking to Pea and you to Toni.

“So how has everything been”

“Good it’s just getting tougher ya know like I feel like I should be used to it but walking is a chore, and the cravings ughh all I want is mac n cheese all the time. But oh my god the other day I had Fangs give me Pasta literally I didn’t want it cooked like he cooked it but then it wasn’t appetizing I literally just wanted to eat hard pasta”

“That’s weird”

“Tell me about it, but I mean it’s been good I’m just ready for her to come out” Your jaw clenches as you felt a cramp run through your lower stomach.

“Fangs is going to be running around like a chicken with his head cut off when that happens” You laughed slightly before instinctively grabbing onto your stomach with a wince on your face. “Babe you okay”

“Yeah I’m fine T just like a tightness right here” You grabbed her hand placing it onto your lower belly “it’s fine though I’m… fuck that hurts” “Are you in labor”

“I… it’s too early, I don’t know get Fangs!” He ran up quickly Pea following and everyone looking as he grabbed your hand “Fang’s I don’t know what’s going on it’s like a cramp”

“Oh my god, your having contractions we need to go the hospital now, fuck fuck the baby is coming to early oh my god we need to go come on get up baby…”

“Fangs chill”

“Pea Your telling me to chill when my girl is in LABOR. L. A. B. O. R. I need to get her to a…”

“Just stop, Y/N how bad are they, are they consistent”

“Just feels kinda crampy, not unbearable not to bad, and not consistent at all”

“It’s braxton hicks”

“It’s what now?”

“Braxton hicks, it’s like the bodies way of getting you ready it’s like false labor pains but they are more crampy then like a real pain” “How do you…” “Pea… how do you know this”

“I looked it up Fogarty, I mean Y/N your my best friend aside from this doofus I figured I should know some stuff cause if he’s not with you I am”

‘Okay well can you tell me how to stop them Pea cause they're real uncomfortable”

“Yeah, T can you grab her some warm tea or somethin”

“Yeah of course be right back”

“There isn’t really a cure for them but if the tea doesn’t work on the ride home Fangs can run you warm bath okay?”

“Thanks, Pea”

“No problem”

Now it was time to give birth you were so ready. You had one of the Serpents coming over who was a trained doula for years she had helped the Serpents give birth since everyone hated hospitals so much, Fangs, Toni and Pea were going to be with you and everything was on track, until it wasn’t. You water didn’t break on your due date. 10 days past his due date. 5 days ago you thought labor was starting but it didn’t. You woke up at 3 your water broke you felt the wetness of the bed and you thought it was go time, you were ready for it to be go time. You woke up Fangs the pains were not too bad to start it it was painful but not unbearable. He called everyone to the house. Fangs, Toni, Pea, and Vani your doula. The pain got worse. You were going through what was called back labor. Your baby girl wasn’t facing the right way which meant her spine was along your spine and it caused major pain, pain that you couldn’t even begin to describe. Fangs was holding your hand the whole time. It wasn’t like what they told you to be prepared for. You were prepared for stomach pain, and stomach cramps but no your back was spazzing and the pain was radiating through your entire spine. It was ungodly, worse than the pains of being shot in all honesty.

“I wish I could take some of the pain princess”

“I know Fangs, but ya can’t so it is what it is babe” He looked sad, one thing Fangs always hated was seeing you in pain. “sorry, that was rude” 

“It’s okay you get a free pass”

It was 7 ½ of back labour and you had no relief. It wasn’t like what they told you at all. Usually you would have a contraction and then be able to rest, but since you were in back labor you had no period of rest. Your back and body was in so much pain that it was getting so hard to focus on anything. Fangs eventually led you to the bath since a hot compress was relieving your back slightly he thought the water would help. See the plan was that Fangs was going to stay out of the water just incase something had to happen. But after he heard your screams of pain, the almost grunting he couldn’t just stand next to you. He had to be with you, touching you helping you. Between kisses and the whispers of “I love you’s” and “your doing so good mama”, you were feeling a slight bit of relief in the bath with him the hot water running along your back. See you should have been giving birth by now, your body was shaking which is usually to tell you your getting close but after another 40 mins, you were not. So your doula was saying it was time to go to the hospital.

“I don’t wanna go Fangs” You started sobbing, a gentle cry a mix of the pain and the sadness of not being able to do this the way you wanted. It was a cry that that broke Fangs’s heart. He wanted to be able to hold his daughter, wanted to be able to see her and wanted to be a father to her more than anything, but even with all that he never realised how much pain it would cause you.

“Hey it’s gonna be okay, we are all here, we are all gonna stay with you okay, we are just gonna go and your gonna push our little girl out there okay”

“Okay” You both got dressed. The car ride was like torture so much so you amde Fangs pull over after every bump. You got there and everything was fine you were sitting in the bed and the doctor checked you. The pains making you wanna scream, but then everything took a turn. Your doctor informed you that you were only 3cm dilated, after 24 hours of labor you should have been much further along. Since you water had been broken for 24 hours your doctor informed you about the clock ticking down. Your baby needs to come out before infection set in. You wanted to do it naturally and you were deathly afraid of needles, but you had to. For your baby to be safe you were started on pitocin and needed to get an epidural, but yous started freaking out.

“Fangs I can’t”

“You have to”

“Pea!”

“Y/N I know, you’ve been afraid of needles since we were kids but you gotta do it okay? This baby needs you to it, and we are all right here we won’t let them make us leave you are in charge here”

“Baby look at me. I know how scared you are but I’m gonna hold your hand the whole time okay, and we gotta get our girl out okay”

“Okay, I can do this” Luckily after the epidural the pain subsided enough for you to rest for just a bit, Fangs next to the bed rubbing his hand along your side.

But then the doctor came in to check you again after 35 hours of labour you were only 3.8 cm dilated meaning that something drastic needed to happen. But you knew she wasn’t progressing you almost felt it, you knew she wasn’t gonna come out and you were starting to not feel good at all you needed her out and you knew she needed to come out. And then the worst thing you heard, you needed to have a c-section. You knew the risks it’s why you chose home birth in the first place. You didn’t want all the medicine you thought you were strong enough to do it on your own.

“I wanted to do it Fangs”

“I know baby, but this isn’t your fault you know that, she’s just being difficult like her mama. And I'm not leaving you okay? They are bringing me scrubs right now I am going to be right there with you okay?”

“Promise”

“Nothing will make me leave you in there okay”

You got wheeled in and numbed You couldn’t see anything due to the cover but then you saw it. Your daughter being lifted up. You saw her she was born out o you and after a few seconds, they placed her onto your chest. She was finally here, and you felt the biggest since of relief, as one of Fang’s hands laid on your cheek and the other on her head. And you heard the quiet sobs coming from him almost louder than your own. You handed her to him as he held her close to your face and they finished stitching you up.

“She’s here baby you did it”

“We did it Fangs” You saw the tears welling in his as he looked at his newborn daughter and you, his girl who was so strong through it all. “baby are you crying”

“Of course I’m crying”

“I love you”

“I love you too, I love both of you so damn much”

40 hours total was your birth story. 40 hours of waiting for your baby girl and she was finally here. Finally ready to be in a family of love and care, and you were so ready to bring her to meet her amazing, dysfunctional family.

Yes having a baby was the highlight of your day, but the highlight the next morning was when you woke up.

[clownsgobeepbeep]

I didn’t realize there were more! 59

59.)Halloween

Let’s see some younger clowns...~

For most people, the night had finally come to an end. Parents headed back home with their children as others also returned due to curfews placed onto them. One of these kids, one older yet still young, sat on his bed inside his room.

He removed the boots he had been wearing, his overalls coming along before he instead wore a pair of jeans and old sneakers. Once done, a jacket came along and he stood up, approaching his bedroom door. Ever so gently, he opened it just the slightest bit, backing away as he heard footsteps.

“Aster, I swear I’m alright. It’s probably all the chocolate I’ve been eating. The baby has been craving it more than ever.”

“Are you sure you don’t need any medicine? I could carry you-”

“Aster.”

“Alright, alright.” came the chuckling from the boy who listened on making sure they didn’t know he had change out of his costume into a new set of clothes rather than his pajamas.

With a sigh of relief, he waited till he heard their bedroom door shut before he made sure to close his door tight to make it seem like he was finally asleep after a night of trick or treating. 

He walked over to his window, opening it before climbing down as carefully as possible, soon hopping onto the grass next to his house. After taking just a few steps, he stood still as he heard somebody speaking.

“Cosmos?”

He held his breath for a moment, not wanting to respond to the soft voice.

“Cosmos? Is that you?”

...yes.”

“What are you doing outside?” Cosmos walked towards the next nearest window, a lit pumpkin right on the still in front of Cosmos’s little sister who was still wearing her costume no doubt.

“Um...I was taking the faster route to the backyard, especially since mom and dad would tell me to go back inside.”

“Liar.”

"I’m not lying!” Cosmos exclaimed in a whisper while Jelly pet the pumpkin in front of her, making sure its flame didn’t go out. “Okay, okay...I’m gonna go hang out with Ace, that’s all.”

“I wanna go.”

“What? No! It’s past your bedtime Jelly. Besides, there’s going to be a lot more spooky stuff and I don’t want you to see any of it.”

“Is that why you have egg cartons behind your back?” Jelly plainly blinked at her brother who pinched the bridge of his nose. He loves his sister and would do anything for her, but tonight...at least what he was about to do, he didn’t want her involved. Maybe when she was older.

“We’re just gonna have some Halloween fun is all.”

“I wanna go.”

“Jelly-”

“Well, okay.”Jelly gave a small shrug, her finger trailing around the pumpkin’s cuttings. “I should call daddy in here, tell him I need a glass of water. Maybe he should take one to your room too.”

_____________

With a large, orange lollipop in one hand, and her brother’s hand in the other, Jelly licked her candy as she walked down the sidewalk besides Cosmos. She glanced around the neighborhood, some decorations still on and on display, others not so much.

How sad, she thought to herself, looking to the front as she and her brother came across pumpkin remains on the ground. Jelly stopped walking, as her did her brother, right before she let go of his his hand and touched the remains.

Soon enough, every piece shook, moving across the ground as they all assembled into their previous selves. The once again pumpkins even lit up inside, not a single crack in sight.

“You know, you don’t have to bring every smashed pumpkin we come across back.”

“But I want to. They never deserved such treatment.” Jelly continued walking, taking another lick of her lollipop. “Besides, people require them so they are protected during Samhain.”

“Of course, sorry. Is that why you’re still wearing your costume, Little Miss Riding Hood?” Cosmos chuckled at his sister who gave a nod. “Hey look, we’re here.”

Cosmos pointed to a large house, obviously abandoned as there was nobody in sight and there were no Halloween decorations.

“Took you long enough. Thought you wouldn’t come.”

“Sorry, I had a bit of a hold up.” Cosmos opened the gate as he lead Jelly through the front yard, and she admired all the dead plant life.

“Why’s she here?”

“She, uh...it doesn’t matter.” Cosmos and Jelly now stood in front of a boy around Cosmos’ age. “You grab anything?”

“Some rocks to smash windows. And these masks.”

“Why are you going to smash windows, Ace?” Jelly looked up at the taller kid who stared down at her with an angry expression, though that was just how he always looked.

“Does she know?”

“No, but I don’t think she’ll tell.”

“We’re smashing windows and throwing eggs, also pulling pranks. On people who don’t give out candy and whatever.”

“Oh.” Jelly blinked up at him, Ace then turning back to Cosmos as he now showed Ace the contents in the backpack he brought along. “What am I going to do?”

“Nothing.”

“Dude.” Cosmos nudged Ace who rolled his eyes. “You are going to...be the backpack carrier. Super special job, especially since-”

“That sounds boring.”

“Well, how about...um...” Cosmos looked around, trying to find some kind of solution, until he caught side of a dead tree. “...you be the life bringer? Yeah! You bring everything in Ace���s yard back to life!”

“Hey! I don’t want nobody touchin’ my-” Ace argued, Cosmos clasping a hand over his mouth.

“I’m sure he won’t mind. Maybe you can even bring up some nice flowers that’ll make it look more Halloween-ish, ya know?”

Jelly gave a nod to her brother who pat her head, then walking away with Ace who didn’t bother looking at her. She watched them walked through the front yard until reaching the gate, Cosmos giving one last wave to Jelly before he and Ace disappeared into the night. Meanwhile, Jelly hopped onto each porch step until reaching the concrete ground, crouching down to touch a flower that soon came back to life.

Jelly continued doing this for a while until she stopped moving, feeling as she was somewhat pulled back. She turned to look for the cause of this, tugging on her red cloak before realizing that it had gotten caught on some old roots or twigs in the ground. So, she attempted to tug the cloth away to no avail, then walking back and manually removing it from whatever it was caught on. 

As Jelly reached out to grab it, the twigs gave a twitch before moving and taking hold of Jelly’s wrist which made her gasp and pull back. Jelly pulled as hard as she could until eventually falling backwards, the twig, or hand, whatever it was, it was still grabbing onto her wrist. 

Her little legs kicked around, eventually striking something she could tell was a jaw, and she kicked so hard she heard a crack as she was finally released.

“That hurt!” came a strange sounding voice, almost distorted.

Jelly crawled backwards as she stared at the new figure, noticing glowing eyes on a shadow-like body.

“What was that for!?”

As the figure stood up, giving a long stretch as cracks were heard, even when holding its jaw. Jelly was rather confused to see what...who, this was...it just stood there, eventually turning to Jelly with a tilt of its head.

“Wait a minute, who are you?” it now leaned in towards Jelly who glanced to every side before looking back. “Have I seen you somewhere around here?”

She slowly shook her head while the thing lifted a hand, or claw actually, moving away some of Jelly’s fringe that covered her features.

“You smell familiar. But also like fish...and flowers. You smell like a Halloween candy I could just eat up!”

Jelly leaned back before the figure gave a laugh, a rather funny one.

“But I won’t do that, especially because you smell of surprise and not fear, which is what I love to eat. What do you love eating?”

“Fish.” Jelly finally responded, making the figure give a laugh once again.

“So do you speak! But not a very lot, I like that!” they exclaimed, eventually reaching down to the ground next to Jelly, picking up a dead flower. “I saw you were doing something with these tiny things, how about you show me that trick again?”

The child reached over and touched the flower, leaving her hand on it for a while until returning to its former self.

“So, do you just make it look pretty, or-”

“Life.” Jelly interrupted. “Bring it back.”

“...? Oh! Oh I see! You bring it back to life, that’s purely wonderful!” Jelly heard before having her wrist be grabbed again, feeling as she was pulled up onto her feet and started to be dragged. “I have this funny game we should play! We should go to the cemetery right now and try some tricks on the-”

“Wait!” Jelly dug her little feet into the ground, making the figure turn to her pretty surprised. “I have to stay...wait for my brother...”

“Blegh, brother! Who needs brothers? Or even sisters? Especially parents?”

“Me...I love them all...”

“Well I hate mine! Now come on, I don’t think that brother of yours would mind! I like you a really lot already, we could be great friends!”

“Friend?”

“Oh yeah! Maybe more or whatever they say, you have really cool tricks from what I can tell and-” the figure stopped moving, which had been walking turned into floating, as another figure now stood in front of them. “Who the heck are you?”

“Leave the child alone. Make like a tree, and leave.”

“What? But why?”

“Now.”

Jelly peeked from behind the figure, her wrist being released again as she looked into green eyes that glared at the one in front of her.

“Why should I? I just want a friend is all.”

“Because I said so.”

“You can see him too?” Jelly whispered, astonished and everything she was hearing and seeing.

“Well, no.”

“No?”

“I’m not leaving her! You can’t make me!”

“Do you really want to try me?”

“What are you gonna do, huh?” the one in front of Jelly asked, seeing how the new person leaned closely into their face with a deep frown. “Ya know what? I don’t got time for this, I’ll just leave. Idiot ruining our fun.”

They soon got on all fours, crawling away from Jelly before sinking into the ground as only their torso and head were left out of the ground.

“Happy Halloween, Jelly~”

Soon enough , they disappeared and from what could be told, actually left rather than just bury themself in the ground. Jelly turned to the other person who continued glaring at the spot, then turning to Jelly with a soft smile.

“What are you doing out here all alone?”

“Cosmos left with Ace to prank people.” Jelly shrugged before feeling a cold air hit her shoulder as the person placed a hand on it, technically speaking.

“Come, let us go back to your home.”

“But what about-”

“Cosmos can deal with it once he rushes back home in a panic. I am sorry to say this, but he deserves the frantic panic and scolding from your mother that he will receive once home.”

“Oh, okay.” Jelly nodded, walking alongside the person who made sure nobody else was around, just to be safe. They accompanied Jelly who did not realize that glowing eyes were staring at her and the person from behind some Halloween displays, but her friend sure did.

“Jelly?”

“Yes?”

“You are a very special girl. Make sure you roam around this world and others as carefully as possible. Everybody wants a special girl like you.”

[skyestones-and-up]

Heroic Tales and Less Heroic Exploits

An au where Izuku Midoriya dies in his second year of Yuuei, and is reincarnated as James Potter. Shenanigans and changes to the timeline ensue. 

It wasn’t anywhere close to immediate; his memories of his past life came back to him slowly at first, then all at once as soon as he was old enough to even slightly comprehend them. But by the time his fifth birthday rolled around, James Potter knew with absolute certainty that he was once called Izuku Midoriya (or rather, Midoriya Izuku).

He’d felt like crying later that evening, when Euphemia Potter tucked him into bed and kissed him goodnight. Not because he’d had a bad birthday, or gotten presents he didn’t like, or hated his bedtime. No, he cried because that was the night it had truly hit him; he’d died young, in only his second year of Yuuei, and had left everyone behind, including his classmates, friends, All Might, and his original mom.

Euphemia was a wonderful mother. But Izuku had had Inko Midoriya as his mom for far longer, and he missed her dearly. He’d never be able to see her again.

As soon as his new mother left the room, he finally let the tears roll down his cheeks, splashing onto the silk bed sheets.

(James Potter would never be wanting for anything material. Izuku Midoriya would never get the things he truly wanted.)

———————————————————

It didn’t take long for Izuku to realize he was in a very different world than the one he had inhabited in his previous life. For starters, when he had glanced over at the newspapers his mother and dad liked to read, he’d learned that the date was several centuries in the past. That was the first clue, as who’d ever heard of a person reincarnating backwards? A far more logical answer was that this world was simply younger than the one he’d come from.

The kicker, though, had come the day after all of his memories had settled in. Sixteen years for Izuku had quickly crowded out his far younger memories in this life, most likely because he’d really been to young to retain them for long anyways. If he’d had, Izuku might not have been as shocked when his mother made the toy trains he was playing with come to life and zoom around the room all on their own. He’d chalked it up to being her quirk at first, but then watched her flick a wooden stick (her wand, his memories supplied), and saw the toys react by flying up in the air and traveling across the room, before settling neatly right where they were usually stored.

Izuku’s little mouth fell open. “How did you do that?” He asked, astonished. Animating toys and levitating objects were two different quirks! Well, he supposed they could possibly fall under a single quirks category of controlling a certain type of object, but it was still pretty wild.

His mother smiled and patted his head. “Levitating charms, sweet. They’re one of the first things you’ll learn when you go off to Hogwarts. But that’s for when you’re older.”

Levitating charms? That sounded like some sort of magic. If this really was a new world, was magic real here? It didn’t seem possible, but then again, a new world could probably have new rules.

Izuku had so many questions, he didn’t know where to begin. If he decided for the moment that magic was real, then it would make sense for there to be a place to learn it, which lead to that ‘Hogwarts’ mother had mentioned. So if he asked about that, he could also know if his theory about magic was correct.

So that was the question he would start with. “Is Hogwarts a magic school?”

“Yes, and a very good one at that,” Mother affirmed. “Your father and I both went there when we were young adults. It’s one of the best magic schools in the world.”

Izuku’s eyes went as wide as the cucumber slices his dad liked to munch on. That had answered a few of his questions, but had also generated about fifty more of them. “Can you show me more magic?”

“Of course!” Mother indulged him. She pulled out her wand again and swished it gently. Small golden lights appeared wherever her wand had been, hovering in the air and shimmering softly. Another wave, and they started changing colors, the ground around them lit up by the glow.

Izuku may have had the memories of a teenager, but at the same time, he was still just as childish as his current physical age would have people believe. Out of curiosity and pure five year old instinct, he reached out and tried to grab one of the lights in his fist. 

Warmth spread from his hand out to the rest of his body, like sitting next to a roaring fireplace, except the fizzling was inside of him and not surrounded by stone. “It tickles!” He giggled.

“It does, doesn’t it,” Euphemia agreed, smiling indulgently. Izuku let go and she waved her wand once more, causing the lights to vanish and leaving Izuku with a faint sense of disappointment. “Come now, it’s bedtime.”

Izuku allowed himself to be picked up in her arms. “When do I get to go to Hogwarts? I want to learn how to do that!” He paused, years of bullying for being quirkless flashing through his head. “Do I have magic?” He whispered, almost too softly for her to hear. “What if I don’t? What will happen to me then?”

“There’s no need for you to worry about that,” Mother chuckled. “Do you remember a couple weeks ago, when that painting burst into flames? Or when the cookies somehow ended up in your room, even though your father and I had been with you the whole night?”

Izuku did remember those things. He’d hated that weird painting from the minute dad had brought it home, and had wanted it out of the house. Just as he’d been glaring at it from across the hall, it had spontaneously burst into flames. There hadn’t been enough to salvage, so dad had thrown it out. With the cookies, he’d been craving them all afternoon, but with his parents around, hadn’t been able to sneak one. Yet they’d somehow shown up in his bedroom that evening. Luckily his parents had found the situation funny, and they’d all shared the cookies that night.

He nodded in response to his mother’s questions. “Well,” Mother continued, “Those were bits of accidental magic you performed. You’ve been doing things like that since you were a little baby. There’s no doubt that you grow to be a fine wizard.”

So those were little acts of magic he’d done? Izuku’s head spun at the implications. Setting a painting on fire with his mind was very different than somehow transporting cookies to his room. Then again, levitation and little balls of light were also two very different types of powers. Was magic anything like quirks were, or was it as unpredictable as it was in some books?

“How does accidental magic work exactly?” He asked. “I mean, do people generally do specific types of accidental magic based on what they end up being best at? Around when does it usually develop? Is there any way to control it before you go to Hogwarts?”

Mother laughed. “So many questions, I love it! Maybe you’ll be in Ravenclaw once your at Hogwarts. Fleamont has been so sure you’d be a cinch for Gryffindor.”

“What’s Ravenclaw? And what’s a Gryffindor?”

“They’re Hogwarts houses, sweet.”

“Houses? Like places to stay in?”

“That’s right.” She was carrying him up the back staircase, holding him tightly so he didn’t bounce around too much. Their house was really, really big. “They’re dormitories, where all the students sleep.”

“Oh, okay.” Izuku was reminded of the Yuuei dorms. This had obviously been around for a long time, however. “How many houses are there? And what does asking a lot of questions have to do with being in the Ravenclaw dorm - I mean - house?”

They had reached Izuku’s room. Mother took one hand away from him to open the door and they walked inside. It was almost as big as the entire bottom floor of his old house, with its own comfy blue couch and chairs, soft gold carpeting, and a giant four-poster bed, the curtains and sheets made of red and gold.

Mother sat him down on the bed, and Izuku crawled under the covers. “There are four houses,” She answered patiently. “Really, you can ask a lot of questions and be in any house, but it’s more of a Ravenclaw trait, because people are sorted into houses based on what they value the most.”

Izuku frowned, pulling the expensive bed sheets up. “And Ravenclaw is the house of valuing questions?”

Mother laughed. “Sort of.” She went to smooth out his hair. “How about your father and I tell you about all of the houses another day. It’s bedtime for you right now.”

Izuku pouted, as five year olds are want to do. “Aww man.” He brightened up. “Can you answer my first question though? About how old I need to be to go to Hogwarts? I really want to know the answer to that one.”

“Of course,” she agreed. “Kids start Hogwarts when they’re eleven years old. So you’ve got six more years before it’s time for you to go.”

“That’s a really long time.” He wasn’t sure if he could stand not being able to properly learn and understand magic for another six years. Then again, maybe he didn’t have to. His own home had a library, and his mother and dad seemed perfectly willing to answer any questions he had. Izuku promised to himself that by the time he went to Hogwarts, he’d be more than prepared. 

“It goes by fast,” Mother assured him, kissing him on the forehead. “Trust me, I’ve been where you are.”

———————————————————

It was much easier to think of Fleamont Potter as his dad than Mother as his mom, hence the terms Mother and Dad respectively. While he loved Mother a lot, and she was a wonderful parent - even if he did recognize that she spoiled him more than a bit - the term “Mom” would always belong to Inko Midoriya, no matter what. She had been there for him at the hardest times of his life, and while there were some times when he wished she had been more supportive of his dreams and aspirations, he couldn’t think of a better mother.

On the other hand, Hisashi Midoriya hadn’t been around in years. He’d been gone when Mom had taken him to the doctor that had told him he was quirkless, he’d been gone when Izuku had found All Might and was given the power to be a hero, and he’d never once showed up in either of Izuku’s years at Yuuei. He was almost always overseas on work, stopping by every few years for a few weeks, then leaving again. Izuku hardly remembered anything about his father's interests or personality, and had only a vague idea of what he looked like.

Dad, on the other hand, was a constant presence in his life, and it made everything so much better. He also worked hard on hair potions that could fix peoples hair the way they wanted in seconds, but he always made time for his wife and only child. He had a nice, if very dad-like, sense of humor, and was always willing to drop whatever book or paper he was reading to play with Izuku and answer his endless questions.

One day, while Dad was reading the paper and Mother was just coming home from brunch with some of her friends, Izuku opened up the line of questioning he had been sitting on ever since his talk with his mother about accidental magic and Hogwarts houses. “Dad? Mother? A few weeks ago, Mother told me about Hogwarts houses, and how different houses value different things. Could you tell me more about that?”

“Of course kiddo,” His dad grinned at him, eyes twinkling. “Learning more about the houses so you know to try for Gryffindor?”

“Don’t pressure him, Fleamont,” Mother pulled her handkerchief out of her coat and tossed it lightly at him. It landed square on his face. Dad chuckled and pulled it off, tossing it back to her. “I think he’s just as likely to end up in Ravenclaw anyways.”

Their son shifted impatiently. “I still don’t know what each house values,” he reminded them.

“Of course.” Dad set his paper down, and Izuku caught a glimpse of the moving photos that had been the subject of his fascination for the last couple weeks (and the reason he had left this line of questioning until today; he’d been far to busy asking how they worked).

“Well for starters,” Dad said, “Gryffindor is the house I was in when I was a boy. Gryffindors value bravery and chivalry above all others. It’s a house that always fights for what’s right.”

“That sounds like a really good place to go,” Izuku noted. He imagined that if All Might were here, that would be the house he’d end up in. Yeah, now that he thought about it, that made a lot of sense. But could Izuku get into a house like that?

“Don’t count the other houses out,” Mother laughed lightly. “I was in Ravenclaw, for instance. We value wit, wisdom, and creativity. That was why I said it was the house for asking lots of questions. I think, with your curiosity, you’d do very well there.” 

He probably would. But who could blame him? Magic was fascinating! Really, Izuku wondered why every wizard didn’t end up in Ravenclaw. Who could look at this world and not want to know everything about it?

“That’s pretty fair.” Dad squeezed his hand. “But most kids aren’t like you, Kiddo. Especially those from wizarding families, they aren’t that interested in how magic works, just what it can do for them.” Izuku winced slightly, he must’ve been mumbling again. While he didn’t do it nearly as much in this life, it still came out now and again. 

“There are two other houses, of course,” Mother continued. “The students in Hufflepuff value things like honesty, loyalty, kindness, and hard work. They’re generally a very nice group of people.”

“I like the sound of that.” Izuku wondered which of his friends would end up there. Kirishima, definitely. Maybe Tsyu? No, she was probably a Gryffindor. Now that he thought about it, Aizawa valued those things more than anything else, so he’d probably be a Hufflepuff. “It sounds like a good house.”

“It is,” Dad agreed, “even if they aren’t always taken seriously.” He sighed dramatically. “And then there are the Slytherins.” 

“Fleamont,” Mother admonished, looking more amused than anything. “Please don’t bring your personal bias into this.” She turned to Izuku. “Slytherin values ambition and cunning above the others.”

Izuku frowned. “That doesn’t sound too bad.” Were Slytherins and Gryffindors rivals?

“You got it,” Dad admitted, somewhat chastised. “And it isn’t bad, per say. Everyone needs some ambition to get places in life. But would you honestly trust someone who made it clear they value ambition itself over things like kindness or bravery?”

Surprisingly, it wasn’t a villain that popped into Izuku’s head, but Endeavor, who valued his own status as a hero over being a hero itself, so much so that he forced his own child to be someone he could live vicariously through, and neglected his other kids. He gritted his teeth at the thought of that man.

“Yeah,” he managed to get out. “Yeah, that doesn’t sound very nice.”

“There are some very nice Slytherins,” Mother pointed out, sitting down beside Izuku at the table. “A few of my school friends were from that house, and they were good people.”

“You just couldn’t trust them,” Dad snarked.

“Fleamont!” Mother chided. Izuku could tell it was teasing on both sides, but he vowed right then that he wouldn’t be in Slytherin. He wanted to be better than that.

But to be better, he had to know how one’s house got chosen, so that he could aim for one of the other three. “How do you get into each house?” He questioned his parents, who were still gently teasing each other.

“Ah,” Dad forced himself to stop laughing. “That’s a secret Kiddo, sorry. School tradition.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it too much.” Mother smiled down on him. “Wherever you go, we’ll be proud of you. We may not be able to tell you what the sorting process is, but we can tell you neither of us have heard of an instance where someone was sorted wrong.” Izuku nodded, feeling reassured.

Still, he’d try to find out more later. He didn’t want to go into this at all unprepared. 

———————————————————

“James, sweet, it’s bedtime.” Mother poked her head around the door to their library. “Still reading all those books, I see. You haven’t come out of there all day, save for meals. What are you reading that has you so interested?”

“Lots of things!” Izuku picked his head up from the current volume he was reading. Scattered around him were many other books of varying sizes, containing all sorts of different subjects. “Did you know that no one ever figured out a pattern to how accidental magic manifests itself? It can appear at any age, in tons of different ways. But why? Why does it do that?”

“It’s magic, Sweet.” Mother sat down next to him, gently stacking the books up and sending them away with her wand. “Magic does what it wants, it seems. Every magic user is different, so it appears in many different ways.”

“So is magic sentient then?” Izuku wondered aloud. “Is it okay to use it then?”

His mother gave a small shrug. “I wouldn’t call it sentient, so much as unpredictable. But with proper learning, it becomes more and more predictable, and easier to use. That is why we have schools like Hogwarts, after all.” 

“I was wondering about that too,” Izuku admitted. “How does one get accepted into Hogwarts? I mean, how do the teachers know who’s magical, and who isn’t? Especially with muggleborns and squibs.” He’d done research into that subject, and like everything else, found frustratingly little on the subject. It seemed some people were born with magic, and some weren’t. Although the idea of people possibly being exiled from their communities for not having magic was uncomfortably familiar.

Mother folded her hands on her lap. “If what I’ve heard is true, there’s a magical quill and book, charmed by the founders of Hogwarts themselves, that are able to detect when a child is magical, and write their names down. Apparently, they haven’t been wrong yet.”

“Wow.” Izuku thought about that. “I wonder what sort of charm they used to do that?”

“That I don’t know.” Mother shook her head, smiling. “But what I do know is that you can continue your reading tomorrow. For now, it really is bedtime.”

Izuku pouted. 

———————————————————

Izuku always knew technology had been held back by the appearance of quirks, but now that he was so far in the past, he was seeing it firsthand, and the shock of it was even greater.

While technology hadn’t progressed to the point it was at in his past life, it was actually pretty close, with similar cars, radios, and television. Cell phones and the internet weren’t a thing yet, but with the way things were improving, it would only be a matter of time.

Even more interesting than that, however, was the fact that wizards were way way far behind when it came to technology. Sure, they had radio and trains, and could replace things like phones with talking through fires, but wizarding society as a whole was still super far behind!

Izuku had searched their library for information on wizarding technology, but couldn’t find anything. He decided to ask his dad about it. 

“Technology, hmm?” Dad stroked his chin, pondering the question. “That’s a very interesting question. Sorry we don’t have any books on it.” He brightened, and lifted his head up. “Oh, I know! How about we go to the London Public Library, and see if they have anything there?”

“Isn’t that a muggle library?” It hadn’t been a big shock to find out he was now living in England; he’d been speaking English this whole life, after all. Still, it was a big weird, walking out of the house and into the English countryside, like something out of a storybook.

“Sure it is,” Dad agreed. “But there’s a magical section hidden from muggle eyes there as well.”

“That sounds so awesome!” Izuku couldn't help but bounce up and down. “Yeah, let’s go there and see if they have anything.”

They took floo powder to get to London, which was still both neat and somewhat terrifying. Once there, they walked the few blocks to the library, Dad holding Izuku’s hand the whole way there. Izuku looked around at the rows and rows of books, itching to get his hands on them. However, his dad led him to a door in the back, which everyone else seemed to be overlooking.

They entered to find even more shelves filled with books. These ones, however, were flying off the shelves and into people’s hands of their own accord. The people reading the books were wearing robes of all sorts of bright colors, some of which almost hurt to look that.

That was okay, of course. Izuku would much rather look at the books than the people reading them.

A wizard with a bright green robed glanced up as they approached, looking somewhat disinterested. “Can I help you two?”

Dad smiled at him. “Yes, thank you. We’re looking into wizarding history, technology more specifically. My son’s interested in the topic.” Izuku waved at the man.

The man’s bored expression morphed into one of surprise. “Huh. Not many wizards or witches look into that sort of thing. Usually just as a passing curiosity, or to write some sort of article. Follow me then.” He lead them off into a corner, where the books all looked dusty and less used. “Hope you find what you’re looking for.”

“Thanks!” Izuku waved at him. He gave a short nod back and walked away. 

———————————————————

When Izuku was six, he finally decided to test out One for All, to see if he still had his quirk or not. It was obvious that quirks as a whole didn’t exist in this world, at least not yet. But he had to try and see if his still worked.

It was late at night when he decided to test if out, after Mother and Dad had both gone to sleep and he was alone in his room. Izuku slipped out of bed and onto the soft carpets that covered his room.

He focused as hard as he could on the feeling One for All gave him, how it felt with all of that power rushing through his veins. Izuku clenched his fists and waited.

At first, nothing happened. But slowly, green sparks started to fly around his body’s coursing through his veins like an old friend. It was light, weaker than it had even been before. But it was there. If Izuku had to guess, he was able to use less than one percent of One for All at the moment. But the fact that he could use it at all was encouraging.

———————————————————

Despite the equal feeling of being loved he received from each, were many differences between the Midoriya family and the Potter family. Besides the fact that he lived with two parents instead of one, and the fact that while Mom was making good money as a middle class citizen, the Potters were sitting pretty on a massive fortune, there was the parents themselves.

Euphemia Potter - Mother - was beautiful for her age, especially considering she’d had Izuku when she was around forty. She had long flowing dark red hair, speckled  with strands of gray. While she was equally kind, Mother was much more self assured than Mom had been, radiating confidence. More than a few times, Izuku wondered guiltily if that had to do with the fact that he was born magical in this world, but quirkless in the previous one. Pictures and stories, however, told a different story, one that said Mother had always been like this. He hoped it was just that.

Fleamont Potter was just a few years older than his wife, with smooth salt and pepper hair and sharp hazel eyes hidden behind glasses. Izuku couldn’t exactly compare him to his previous father, as he didn’t know the man, but a huge difference from his previous life was that while he had taken his looks from his mother then, now they came almost completely from Dad. It still shocked him everytime he looked in the mirror, expecting green hair but seeing messy black.

Another major thing that set the Potters apart from Mom, however, was that the Potters had lots of friends. Lots and Lots of friends.

“Come on Sweet.” Mother gently pulled him along. After weeks of pleading, She and Dad had agreed to take Izuku on a broomstick ride, which had proven to be even more of a thrill than he’d imagined. Now that they were at their destination, however, his nerves came rearing up, threatening to consume him.

“What if he doesn’t like me?” Izuku voiced his hesitant thoughts. “What if we get off on the wrong foot, what if I say something dumb and he thinks I’m an idiot, what if-“

“It won’t be like that Sweet, I promise,” Mother assured him. “I’ve met Frank before, he’s a very nice young boy, and only about a year older than you. I’m sure you’ll get along splendidly.”

That would be nice, except the anxieties wouldn’t leave him. They walked up to the front steps of the Longbottom’s house, a huge estate that almost rivaled their own. 

The door opened as they approached, and a small creature in rags appeared at the door. 

“Miss Augusta and master Frank are waiting for you, Sirs and Madam.” The thing spoke with a deep croaky voice, as it bowed them inside. Mother thanked it kindly as they passed.

“What was that?” Izuku wondered.

“A house elf,” Dad explained. “They work for some rich wizarding families.”

Izuku glanced back at the house elf. “Why’s he wearing rags?”

“They hate clothes. Giving a house elf clothes is essentially firing them, which they consider a great failure on their part. Ah, Augusta!” Dad spread his arms out wide as a sharp looking woman approached, kissing her on the cheek in greeting. The greeting she and Mother shared was equally warm.

“It’s about time you visited. Your son is already six, and I’ve barely met him.” Augusta Longbottom leaned down to meet Izuku’s eyes. “You must be James. You’ve grown since I last saw you.”

Izuku didn’t remember seeing her before, but he nodded his head politely anyways. “Thank you ma’am.”

“So polite! He and Frank will get along splendidly. Frank!” At his mother’s call, a boy came thumping down the stairs, and locked eyes with Izuku. Frank was tall for his age, with brown hair and curious eyes.

Izuku gave a shy wave. “Hi. I’m James.”

Frank smiled. “Hello! It’s nice to meet you.”

Mother gave his hand a squeeze. “Why don’t you two get to know each other better?”

“Right.” Augusta nodded firmly. “Frank, give him a tour of the estate. Be sure to ask what he wants to see the most.”

“Okay.” Frank gave Izuku a smile and motioned for him to follow. Izuku walked with him as their parents talked in the background. “Is there anything you want to see?”

Izuku rubbed the back of his head. “Well, what do you have? I mean, this is your house, after all. Well, actually if you have a lot of books I would love to see them. I’ve read almost all the books in my house, which is both great and frustrating because not many books talk about how magic actually works. And you’d think they’d have something on it in different magical libraries, but it’s like not many wizards seem to care how anything works, and isn’t that weird? I mean-” Izuku cut himself off when he saw Frank staring at him with wide eyes. He winced. So much for making a good first impression. “Sorry, I tend to ramble a lot.”

“It’s fine, that’s not-” Frank cut himself off. “Midoriya?” 

Oh. 

Well this just got a lot more interesting.

[fauzhee10069]

JoJolion’s main villain? Will it be female?

Okay, so whenever I find a discussion about JJL main villain, who will it be? And with the thirst from fans who wanted the first female main villain in JJBA, a popular theory emerged that Higashikata Caato would become the main villain. Yeah, so far… she is really popular, lots of hints point towards her, I can see some reasons of why:

Her motivation, she is currently in conflict with her ex-husband, Norisuke IV. Their conflicting views of how they have to sacrifice to save their son from the curse. Her sacrifice made her imprisoned for 15 years and separated from her children (how sad when her three children did not know her as their mother). Now, she returns and demands a payback.

Her persumably dominance over her son, Jobin. Jobin who previously was hyped as potential main villain is now overshadowed by his mother. Especially, it was pretty much confirmed that Jobin isn't the mastermind by Dolomite and Rai. “Jobin sweetie, remember that I went to jail to protect you, to save you, all for your sake. Imagine she says, ”I can see that Jobin must feel very indebted and grateful to her, that’s why he looks very respectful to her.

Her first impression of Gappy!Josuke was that she doesn't like him, regards him as freeloader (a potential enemy?)

Her Stand being a space-manipulating related type, often being regarded in the same boat with D4C (though I see that it’s more similar to Enigma currently).

Despite being 52 and a granny, she looks attractive for no reason, Araki’s habit of creating his main villains. Look how he changed fat!Valentine into the hot 48 years old president. Caato could be the antithesis of Lisa Lisa. Both are hot milfs in 50s and supportive to their sons, only the side is reversed.

Advanced points:

Norisuke IV he is one of the people closest to Josuke but the one who is likely most despised by Caato. I can see the potential conflict between Josuke and Caato or even her conflict with her other children.

The race to obtain Locacaca fruit, Caato’s side (Tsurugi, Jobin and Mitsuba) are fighting to cure Tsurugi. Josuke is fighting to restore himself to normal and save Holy.

Now, enter my personal opinion...

Actually, I like Caato as villain, or even major villain. But to be honest, though I also crave for the first female main villain, I don’t really like the concept of Caato as the one. Reasons:

Her conflict/motivation is too domestic, a household disputes; an ex-wife who wants to take revenge on and punish her ex-husband for the sacrifice and misery that she have to endured and demands payback (she openly asked for half of the household fortune). Basically, she wants to take back what's rightfully hers,  probably dethrone the patriarch to dominate the family business and fortune. This sounds like a plot taken out from Korean/telenovela family drama (with revenge as its main theme) only that it involves Stand battle, could be good for side plot but not for main plot. I wish the Rokakaka fruit, Rock humans, scientist and the curse will be a greater focus than this family drama bullsh*t.

Her background itself is too ordinary, a former housewife with no visible past career or other interesting things, unless she had other past background that is still hidden, maybe a past career that hasn't been revealed yet, ala Izumi Curtis. Though she could be a counterpart for part 4 main villain, being ordinary salary man.

Her flashback and motivation in the past, in my opinion, is too sympathetic (something that Araki claimed to avoid whenever he writes a main villain). To save her son from her curse, rather than sacrificing her life, she preferred to sacrifice the life of other (stranger). To be honest, I prefer her method than Norisuke IV, therefore Jobin (and her other children) do not need to lose a mother figure (which ironically happened). This is a husband’s common mistake; assuming that his wife is not different with his mother, hoping that his wife will do the same thing with what his mother has done. Basically, a mom who did sacrificing her own contented life for the sake of her child, imprisoned for 15 years away from her children, she had just been released and is still reorganizing her life. Unlike other JoJo main villains, in which their trouble pasts had become a past completely (that happened years ago) as their current life in the present storyline is much better but Caato still had to face her ex-husband who seemed to abandon her and had to try re-bond her relationship with her children again (idk why but her story kinda reminds me of Cookie Lyon from Empire). She just barely regains her life back.

Her personality that is too obvious for a villain. Being very two-faced and deceptive, showing her true calculating personality to those she deeply trusts yet truly capable of however seems to intimidate and inspire fear, but in public, she comes off as charismatic and loving person. It’s like “Oh looks… she is evil… she must be the main villain!!” I mean, just as she first appeared (which is not long ago), she already acted menacing, intimidating and declaring her objectives. Whereas JJBA main villains in general were acting pretty casual.

Most likely, Araki did the Principal and The Pauper to Norisuke IV’s character. From the fun & loving dad and a supportive father figure for Josuke to be an asshole husband who is disregarding his wife for the sacrifice she had made and even refused to pay her alimony. Now I am confused whether I should cheer for Norisuke IV (Josuke’s side) or Caato. This will potentially rival my disappointment over Xiao Fan ruining Zhao Yun and Xiao Meng’s dynamic. >:(

She doesn’t have any moment that can be mocked over and meme’d. Also, all of her appearance so far is like a boss. If she constantly stays like this till the end, I’m afraid that she would potentially ruin the funny dynamic between The Main Villains gang in fandom!!!

I don’t need another mom archetype in JJBA main villains gang, we already have Kira as the mom.

Her determination to live free from the men (read: husband)’s control and decision yet seems to be in control of her son (and possibly grandson) makes her sound like feminazi. I hope I’m wrong though, hopefully Araki doesn’t write her to be main villain only to fulfill the quota (due to the lack of female main villains) or as political correctness. I just want my first female main villain to be just a character of her own without being the feminist advertisement (though that’s what you likely will get from a character with just housewife as background). I have faith in Araki though because in my opinion he was quite successful as he wrote Jolyne, she is very likeable for the only female JoJo as she is simply being who she is without promoting feminism.

A mother controlling her children (in this case, Jobin). Though this is personal, I’m never into this kind of villain. I think it is very cheap, there is a teach that children must respect their mother who had nurtured and raised them and one mom decided to take this as an advantage to control her children. Most likely, Caato could be the main cause of Jobin's authoritarian attitude to his son, Tsurugi.

Mom: “Okay son, remember that I had carried you in my womb and suffer for 9 months for it, I had painful labor to bear you, I had taken care of you when you were a helpless baby, teaching you everything and saved your life from the curse, even saved you from your crime, by letting myself go to jail and lost my 15 years of life… all because I love you. Now, do me a favor and never question it!” Son: “No, sorry mom.” Mom: “(How dare you!) Why not?” Son: “Because I never ask to be born (especially by you).” (I don’t think Jobin would ever say that, probably Joshu).

So, if Caato turns out to be the main villain, she could be my least favorite main villain despite I am being a female myself. Though it's still too early to judge, there is still a hope that she will deliver something more interesting than those 5 points above. One of them is the theory and possibility that she is the mysterious head doctor or the Rock human’s leader.

My other personal wish is that Holy Kira is the actual main villain. This is purely crack theory and something that is even less likely than Caato, but I think Holy Kira will deliver something more interesting than Caato:

Her more interesting background as an Ophthalmologist, emergency doctor, and guest professor. A woman, a mother and A PROFESSOR!!!

Her more direct connection with Rokakaka fruit, it is revealed that Holy created the hidden Rokakaka lab at T.G University Hospital, she was researching the fruit! Therefore, A SCIENTIST!!! There is a possibility that she was part of the Rokakaka Research Organization (though probably she just did the research independently).

She is a direct descendant of Johnny Joestar, therefore… a Joestar! Imagine being a Joestar and a main villain at the same time!! Okay, despite being a Joestar, Holy is not a JoJo. But this will be hilariously the greatest irony ever, a main villain is descended from a JoJo.

Her, tricking Josuke, the main protagonist (who is also part of her son) to cure her is something far more brilliant than a mom straightly controlling her son through intimidation. Perhaps her illness is part of her master plan (“計画通り/keikaku doori!!”ala Light Yagami or Aizen), it’ll be a greater troll than Joseph trolling Jotaro as reincarnated DIO XD.

Holy Kira might be the antithesis of Holy Kujo, the purest and most loving milf ever in JJBA to be the worst and ambitious mom.

Holy Kira might fit the theme of the villain being the opposite of the protagonist, what is the opposite between Josuke and Holy? One being the guy stitched together from two other guys and one being a woman who has a lot of missing parts (in this case, her brain).

She already had her possibly funny/crazy moment when she was trying to use a nurse like a pair of boots and a magazine XD.

Personally, I think that Holy has better design than Caato. While Caato looks like the older version of Jolyne, her messy appearance looks like a middle-aged woman who couldn’t let go her teenage years (that’s why she can’t beat Lisa Lisa as a hot milf in 50s imo, her appearance is tidier and more elegant). Look at Holy Kira, she is trendy and the dark cape looks fabulous for a villain’s design.

Holy may possess a more interesting Stand, I’m sure she is a Stand user if she can see Paisley Park and knows about Killer Queen. Please, Araki… show me what her Stand is capable of!!

If Caato stays the same until the end of the story, she will be the most deviated villain in JJBA history besides being female, Araki might breaks the pattern with her. But isn’t using Holy Kira as main villain would be a greater pattern breakers??

Besides Holy Kira, I found another crack yet brilliant theory of Yasuho being actual main villain without her realizing it, played it like an alter ego ala Doppio. Disclaimer, it is not written by me. While this is very interesting (and I support this theory tbh), this could be another case of The Principal and The Pauper in Yasuho’s character.

Hopefully, Caato is just a red herring for the actual main villain (as she is too… obviousss), but the possibility of Holy as the main villain is even smaller. That’s why I keep my expectation of evil!Holy so low, she could be just a straight SBR counterpart for Holy Kujo (the purest mom in critical condition that needs to be cured asap) with slightly bigger role, nothing more. Perhaps, the main villain could even be neither Caato nor Holy.

Now, let’s countdown the villains we had so far and how Caato or Holy will fill it up:

A vampire (and an ex-lawyer student)

A Pillar Man, boss of his own kind

A vampire… again (at least he is hundred years old now)

A salary man and serial killer

A mafia boss

A priest (and the vampire’s lover best friend)

A president of alt!US

A former housewife and former inmate / A mad scientist and a Joestar / A Rock human and head doctor (another mad scientist), assuming the third possibility of main villain is a guy / The main villain is a concept (not a person), the Locacaca fruit itself (I love this one tbh)

Pick your choice!!

Summary: I welcome Caato as villain, even as major villain. She is the first female villain who has her own motivation without being a mere pawn for the main villain. She deserves a big role, but not the biggest role. Gappy!Josuke deserves a greater villain to fight than a greedy and vengeful milf who is wronged (by her husband) in the past, someone who hasn't even reached the top (and her own happiness). The mystery of Locacaca’s fruit, the origin of the Higashikata’s curse;the rock disease, what’s up with the Rock humans and the Wall Eyes should be prioritized over the game of throne inheritance fight drama of the Higashikata family’s property and power. To be honest, I still prefer the main villain to be a man… again rather than Caato (even if it is Jobin).

TL;DR Caato will still be my most favorite female villain but potentially becomes my least favorite main villain in JJBA.

[angelofthenightposts]

The Perfect Dad.

Bill and the reader take childbirth class 

More of Bill Skarsgard.

You're pregnant, but it's not the cute kind of "Oh, I'm pregnant, but my belly isn't that big, and I can still fit into my jeans." No, you're in the third trimester, and it's worse than the first two. Yes, the morning sickness and nausea are gone, but you now have swollen ankles, painful backaches, and strange cravings. During your pregnancy, you became more curious, and with maternity leave, you could spend your entire time reading parenting books or shopping online. The baby has more clothes than you and Bill have in your walk-in closet combined. You've always been eager to learn new things since you were a child, but now it's more important than ever. 

If you want to be a good mother, you must know every detail about pregnancy and parenthood, or so you believe. You open a new tab in your laptop's browser and type in the website that your heavily pregnant friend suggested you look at. As you scroll down the page, Bill enters the living room carrying two mugs of green tea. It was a bummer when you realized you had to give up a lot of things for your baby, and one of them was coffee. Your OB-GYN informed you that there is no harm in enjoying a cup of green tea, and you and Bill have used it to satisfy your caffeine addiction.

“Bill, baby, look what I found.” You tell him as he places the mugs on the table and leans over your left shoulder, kissing your temple. He raises his eyebrows at the screen; it's a page about childbirth classes, with detailed course content ranging from pregnant yoga to baby care. He takes a sip and smiles as he points to a picture of pregnant women doing yoga.

“Oh cool, it says here that they can help you with back pain. I think you should book it, yeah.”

“You're joining me.” You respond before getting a big sip from your own cup.

“Well, I don't think I need to learn anything new. I grew up with a large number of siblings. I can take you there-“ He pauses in mid-sentence; with pregnancy, you become a hot-tempered and stubborn person, and you start bickering about unimportant things that you didn't care about before. And right now, when you snap your head at Bill, he knows better than to say anything else. He averts his gaze and says, "When can we begin?"

//xxx//

You enter through the door your husband has held open for you, and Bill follows you in, sighing and looking around. The blue and pink colors appear to have been vomited at the walls. Every wall is covered in baby posters and pregnancy tutorial banners. He locks his gaze on you, as he wants to see if you feel the same way about the location as he does. And the similar expression on your face makes him sure that you do.

“Welcome to Joy in Birthing, and my name is Jessica.” This stagey, cheerful sound breaks your telepathic bond, and you both turn your heads to look at her. She is a young woman, probably in her mid-twenties, with a big smile on her face, as if everything is fine or she has no emotions other than happiness. She turns to look at your belly, which is hidden beneath a t-shirt with a funny pregnancy pun. “How is our lovely mother doing today?”

She hands you some papers to sign shortly after you inform her that you are here for the course. She receives the papers and offers you new t-shirts with the company logo printed on them. You both smile politely at her and grab the shirts to put on over your clothes. She leads you to the large room and tells you that you made a wise decision. You thank her and look around the room, which is packed with pregnant women and their partners. You're not sure why, but it feels like a race to see who can make the most beautiful baby; Bill intertwines your hands and you can tell he's nervous as well. As he helps you in sitting on the colorful cushions on the floor, you notice that there are quite a few eyes on you two; they most likely recognize who your husband is. Instead of wondering how so many of them managed to stay skinny, you begin to read the brochure in your hand. Bill, on the other hand, sits next to you and keeps his gaze away from the other people in the room; he doesn't want to be here today. He puffs out his cheeks and fixes his gaze on the breastfeeding poster on the wall.

“Baby, stop pouting like a child. Remember, we're here for our child?” You tell him that you're sure there's something he can learn today. But he insists that he knows everything there is to know about children because he grew up in a large family with many siblings. “I just want to make sure we don't hurt him.”

He tilts his head and looks at you; your hand rests on your belly, and your eyes are already welling up. He bites his bottom lip and realizes you are in one of those states where emotions and hormones are running high.

“We are not going to hurt our child, baby,” he says as he leans in and places his hand on top of yours. “I assure you that we will not. Plus, do you remember how good we are at babysitting my niece?” You want to tell him that it isn't the same thing, but before you can say anything, a middle-aged woman who you later learn is an instructor enters and greets everyone.

“Hello and welcome all of you! Before we start, I'd like to introduce myself. My name is Evelyn. Thank you all for coming to our class today and congratulations on your pregnancy.” She briefly discusses the course details before taking her seat in front of the projector's large screen. “I'd like to begin by discussing the early stages of pregnancy. “She starts talking about body changes and hormones, which quickly bores Bill and causes him to sigh. He isn't here to find out where the babies come from, but you listen to every word as if you hadn't been researching for months.

"Moms have difficulty moving with their weight and experience pain. And it is the spouse's responsibility to alleviate the pain. I'd like you to sit across from our lovely mothers. Let us begin by massaging the feet, which bear the entire weight of the body." You quickly remove your sneakers and smile at your husband, who is accustomed to giving you massage. Before he smiles, he places your left foot on his knee.

"I could do it at home anyway," he says as he presses his hand against the middle of your foot, "We didn't have to come here." You shush him; he despises being shushed, but there is no other way for him to stop whining.

Bill is now sitting next to you after about twenty minutes of massaging different areas of your body. You turn your head and see that he is still uncomfortable with the birth video you all just watched, and the expression on his face makes you laugh, you place a small kiss on his left cheek. He moves the corner of his lips upwards as he averts his gaze to look at you.

“New parents who are expecting their first child are always nervous at first. I know some of you feel unprepared to care for a baby. So we'll be working with this toy baby now." Evelyn lifts a cardboard box containing toy dolls and gives one to each couple sitting on the floor. While you examine the clothes and other items in the package, Bill stares at the horrifying baby. He lifts the doll and mutters, "Creepy." You laugh and roll your eyes at his antics, taking the baby from his grasp and placing it in your lap. He is correct, however; it appears so realistic for a toy, and if that isn't enough to freak you out, it has those huge dull blue eyes.

” Do we have a confident father to come here and set an example for the others?” There is complete silence; no one makes a sound, and you look at your husband. You know he's a good babysitter and is generally self-assured in everything he does. His eyes are challenged by yours, and he shrugs before volunteering. Evelyn invites him and Bill winks at you as he stands up and walks away.

He and Evelyn demonstrate how to properly hold and feed the baby to others. And the more Evelyn compliments him, the smugger Bill becomes. He even gives you a look that says, "See, I told you." It's time to learn how to change a diaper, and Evelyn tells Bill to put the toy back on the changing table.  He nods and does as he is instructed. But after a few seconds of attempting to take its onesie, he fails, and you can tell he's frustrated. With that, he does something that makes everyone in the room hold their breath: he drops the baby doll to the floor. He timidly apologizes to the class before picking it up. As he looks around the room, you give him a thumb up. Something about his demeanor shifts; he no longer appears to be as confident and cool, and you frown at him. He looks over the table, his gaze wandering to the baby cloth, baby powder, and wet wipes. He shakes his head and tries to regain control of his mind while trying to remember the instructions; he pulls out one of the wet wipes.

“We'd rather wipe the poop this way, Bill. Inadequate cleaning can lead to infection or worse.” Evelyn takes the wet wipes and shows Bill and the others how to use them properly; he watches carefully and then moves on to the next step, which is dressing the baby back. But no matter how hard he tries, he can't get his leg into the onesie hole. Normally, he would take care of his nieces and nephews easily but now he is beginning to doubt himself. Perhaps he isn't an expert, he reasoned to himself. What will happen if he has to care for your child? What if he injures your child while dressing him?

“Do you want me to assist you?” Evelyn's question snaps him back to reality, and he shakes his head no. He's got this, it's simple, he thinks. He takes a deep breath and tries again. But he must have used a lot of force because the toy's plastic leg breaks apart. When someone in the audience boos him, he looks at you, the most important person in the room.

“I'm sorry, but I can't.” He begins to walk to the exit, unconcerned about the people in the crowd. He walks past you, and you gather your belongings, such as jackets and water bottles, and leave the classroom after Bill.

You find him sitting on a bench outside the building, his elbows resting on his knees and his face buried in his palms. You suck your bottom lip and take small steps up to your husband.

”Bill, baby, are you all right?”

“Sorry for embarrassing you in class.” He tells you as you sit next to him, but he keeps his gaze away from you on purpose.

You frown and press your hand against his knee. “What are you on about?”

He rolls his eyes and turns to face you, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "I was a complete failure back then. How can I care for our baby when I can't even handle a doll? Our son will hate me."

"Bill, please don't say things like that. What has just happened does not imply that you will be a bad father. Don't be too hard on yourself because you dropped a stupid toy.” He sucks in a shaky breath, almost as if about to cry, and it makes your eyes well up as well. Your thumb caresses the soft skin of his left cheek as you cup his pouting face. His green eyes finally meet yours, and you give him the most reassuring smile you can possibly manage. “You will be an excellent father. Our son is extremely fortunate to have you as a father."

"Do you really believe that?" Finally, a small smile appears on his lips, and you kiss him.

“Can we have ice cream now that our perfect daddy is feeling better? I'm craving something sweet." He grabs the bag and strokes your belly with the other hand before nodding and standing up. He feels stupid for believing he'd be a bad father. He has a wife and a son to cherish until the end of his days. He hopes they will love him as much as he loves them.

[ekel-a]

The best things in life arent free

Nothing I love better than response advertising, months ago…Colgate had to shut down a promotional stall at London’s Waterloo “BrushSwap” promotion which gave costumers a chance to switch  old electric toothbrushes to new ones worth £170, there was such a large turnout that the crowd numbers forced the staff to close the stall due  to limited supply of the products mentioned in the offer. Some costumers had even arrived at the stall London Waterloo as early as 5am to claim their free toothbrushes! Imagine that! Well their rival Philips’ Sonicare toothbrush brand quickly thought up a way to poke fun at the failed giveaway attempt and deployed creative agency Ogilvy and media agency Carat to create a teasing ad campaign with the strapline below And that’s the headlines on my babble today. They say you don’t realize how hilarious your upbringing was until you’re an adult, and looking back at all the things my parents made me believe when I was young they were pretty funny and creative…and so serious at it. Havent our parents all told us things when we were young… like, you melt when you walk in the rain, there’s a little man in the fridge who turns off the lights( wasted half my childhood looking for this man), cars have little people under them who carry them and run when your father puts the key in the ignition. The chain is endless…its things people tell us when we’re young and don’t expect us to believe them as we grow…we’re supposed to grow and discover the sad truth that There was  never any Santa Clause, am not sure about other African households but my parents refused to let the credit of Christmas presents go to an old white man they didn’t know, they made it very clear from the beginning they bought the gifts especially for us and the name tags were very specific. Love, Dad and mom. We indeed knew for a long time this strange man we saw in movies did not exist…unlike the other children.   We’re supposed to grow and discover that babies do not come from flying birds and you don’t get pregnant by spending too much time talking to boys, this one was from my darling mother oh that lovely woman knew how to scare me, 'spend too much time with boys my dear, and boom you're pregnant' she knew exactly how I would interpret it, and it  worked for about 10 years, I was quite naïve and internet was really rare..conversations with boys were short and general in fear of a bulging belly if I spent 1 hour in a male’s company. I have to admit, I was a stupid one.  Then that’s it you see…you grow and realize that all these things were just things people tell children to guard their innocence Then again I feel some of us are children still, holding on to things we shouldn’t, still. Not discovering that the things they told us were just, things they told children.The best things are free.I don’t know what ‘best things’ means to youBut me you see, Im not a fancy gal. Im actually quite simple oh yes, I like the little things in life. Little things, yes, that’s me.A little yatch, a little plane, a little giant house in the mountains, with a little golf course in the back yard and a little swimming pool with a tinny little sport cars parked in the front…yes, little things.  So best things for me is little things, but even these little things aren’t free. So what does ‘best things’ mean to youMany would say, air health happiness, the target of lazy thinkers. But I love to call them ‘important things’ surely important, for us to live and the like. But even these important things, water, air, land ..are they free? they are not really free for us we’re paying the price of preserving them.  Paying the price for them all.But what’s your ‘BEST THING!’Your dream! Your wildest desire! That thing the child in you always craved, what is it? Is it Free?Even if you’re gonna go the hypocrite route and say ‘a good healthy environment’ its not free, a lot of work has to be put into it to be good and healthy. My definition of free is without any sort of cost and sort of payment howsoever…love health friendship think about if…are they really free? if you water your garden and you pay for the water the garden is not free if you have a house with a lovely view then you bought that view when you bought the house…If your travelling cross country and admiring the sights the cost of it is the t price of your fuel/ticket, my definition of ‘not free’ is anything you have to pay for directly or indirectly is not free…which makes me think…well we pay indirectly for almost everything in this world! Do you see where Im getting at ‘ Nothing is FREE’ Call the press! Release your findings! They’ve been brainwashing us all alongAnd some of us are so brainwashed we think we’re entitled to all the best things…For Free.Now don’t think im equating everything to money value …cost may equal time, effort…They were striking once at a school I went, call me a traitor but I was never one for trouble of the sort, and the president of the campus walks upto me and asks ‘so why aren’t you striking Princessa? (this was the beginning of the la princessa name era where everyone thought the ‘la’ was stupid) Now I was quite tiny at the time and the president or head girl was quite tall and there I was with my little 'shamba dress' in the middle of a grass field lying on my back as my peers were striking for God Knows what, you could almost see the gulp in my throat when I gave my cheeky response  as the tall cross faced individual stood right infront of me ‘That’s Way too much work for free’ cause in my head I thought why hand free effort to a cause that didn’t make sense or benefit me or the immediate environment anyhow, no one hands me free things why should I?...There was that and the fact that I was an extremely lazy kid.Nothing in this world is entirely free, someone somewhere put some work effort and energy into it…if it looks free, someone somewhere is paying the price for it! as we grow we learn, to get those ‘best things’ there need be a lot of effort. Gone are days where we’re spoon fed on a walker. Because the best things in life, aren’t as free as we were made to believe…the best things indeed need a lot of time effort energy.And there we go ladies and gentlemen…now that we’ve established that nothing is free, Even the best things. When its ‘free’ for you, Appreciate it. Because someone somewhere is paying the price for that. Maybe with a liver, maybe with cash, and sometimes just sometimes…with expectation  but there are two sides to every coin and  best believe also sometimes… if its free…its probably not the best thing.

[ayma-nidiot]

“Don’t Speak Their Names” - Shrimpshipping fic Chapter 10

This fic on AO3 can be found here.

Author’s Note: I think I did soooo much of a better job expanding upon Rex’s and Weevil’s reaction to Rex’s pregnancy, and at the idea of becoming parents!

Chapter 10 - For Real?

~06 June 2005, mid-morning~ 

“Goddammit, Wheeler, Red-Eyes is mine!” Rex spoke in his sleep. He had no idea where he actually was; for all he knew, he was in San Francisco again, dueling Joey Wheeler in a battle for their souls. He vigorously swiped at the air, hoping that his former ace card would somehow come back to him. 

The next voice he heard would erase all of his doubts. “What gives, dino brain?” spoke Weevil. “We’re in a hospital - and no, that doesn’t mean we’re at a taco stand.”

“What are you on about, Weevil?” That voice sounded like Amber’s. “Is that supposed to be an inside joke?”

At last, Rex decided he had enough of the annoying squabbling, and fully awakened. “All right, guys. If you want my attention, well now you have it. Hmm?” Rex looked to his right, and noticed that a giant I.V. line flowed into his right arm. Right next to it were several vital monitors, and the sound of his EKG lingered awkwardly in the air before he said anything. “Whoa! What happened to me? Does it have anything to do with the nausea?”

“Y-Yeah…” Rex could tell from Weevil’s voice that he knew the full story - and already, it didn’t sound good. “After you passed out on the graduation stage, you got this really awful fever, and the principal called for an ambulance. Not only did you throw up multiple times on the ambulance ride, but also while the doctors were treating you.”

“All while you were unconscious, if I might add,” Amber added. “You got so dehydrated that the doctors had to give you fluids, nutrients, and strong antiemetics through I.V.”

“Oh, shit… Well, someone’s gotta let Mom and Mama know! You did call them too, right?”

“...” Weevil and Amber both said nothing as the doctor and a few nurses came in.

“Hey, Doc! What happened? Am… Am I gonna die?”

“Mr. Raptor…”

“I am gonna die, aren’t I?” Rex shrieked as the nurses tried to calm him down. “Aaaaah! Tell Mom and Mama that I love them very much! A-And Weeves, you get my deck-”

“Mr. Raptor, please calm down. You’re going to be fine.” These words from the doctor finally got Rex to calm down. “However, you will need to spend about two months in this hospital because of… what happened.”

“And what is this ‘thing’ that happened? Do tell.”

As professional as this doctor was, he found it hard to break the news of Rex’s condition to him. “You don’t seem to have a medical history, so we did find it odd that you developed a severe illness out of nowhere. We performed an ultrasound and a few blood tests on you, and we can conclude that you don’t have a stomach virus or other pathogen in you. But… uh...”

“Aww, come on!” Rex’s mood lightened significantly when he found out he would live. Still, he didn’t like how the doctor seemed hesitant to tell him what was going on. “You’re acting like a doctor about to tell a woman she’s pregnant! Haha, you really had me there for a…”

Rex stopped laughing when he noticed the serious look on the doctor’s face. “No… No way… For real? Are you trying to tell me that I’m actually pregnant? Me, a dude?! ”

“Yes, Mr. Raptor. The ultrasound not only revealed that you have both reproductive systems, but also that you are carrying a child. You’re ten weeks along, to be precise.” 

The doctor gave Rex a few black-and-white photos. Sure enough, when Rex squinted at them, he could see what looked to be a form of life, complete with tiny little limbs and a head. “Are… you… serious…” Rex looked to the man who was obviously the father of his child. “Did you know about this, Weeves?”

“No, I swear I didn’t!”

“I just hope Mom and Mama never find out.”

“Funny you say that, because I called your parents as soon as I called the ambulance,” Amber cut in. “You can guess at how panicky they were.”

“This… can’t be happening…” Rex receded even further into his hospital bed. He cursed Mai to hell and back again for being indirectly responsible for his unnecessary suffering the past couple of weeks. And he had just graduated high school; he knew he didn’t have the financial nor emotional means to go through a pregnancy and raise a child. No way would Ptera and Tricera agree to having yet another mouth to feed. Not to mention the excruciating process of childbirth itself… Being slashed to ribbons by Joey’s Red-Eyes Black Dragon Sword would definitely pale in comparison.

Weevil allowed a few more seconds of silence to pass before interrupting Rex’s whirlwind of thoughts with, “...You’re mad, aren’t you?”

Weevil sounded so pathetic that any frustration Rex had faded almost instantly. “Why would I be mad at something that isn’t your fault? I mean, even though it technically is… Ah, forget it.”

“So does that mean you want to keep the baby?”

Rex took a deep breath and stared at Weevil sincerely. He figured that as long as he had his boyfriend by his side, he could endure anything, and wanted to give the life growing inside him a chance. “Yes.”

“In that case, you’re going to need intensive care,” spoke the doctor. “You are suffering hyperemesis gravidarum, an extreme form of morning sickness that causes severe dehydration and weight loss. That’s why we need you to stay hospitalized until about the start of your second trimester, which is when morning sickness normally stops on its own. However, since you do not have a vulva, it cannot be determined at this time how labour will happen. If push comes to shove, you may need a C-section.”

“A C-section, eh? Then I guess I’ll be fine. Sounds much less painful than squeezing out a tiny human being through an even tinier hole, that’s for sure.”

“Then… by your leave.”

And with that, the doctors and nurses left the room, leaving Amber, Rex, and Weevil by themselves.

“So the takoyaki cravings weren’t for nothing…” Rex slowly lifted his free arm.

“I… I…” Weevil had no words as he approached his boyfriend. It still hadn’t sunk in that he was going to be a father - at his age! He stared at Rex’s belly as he reached out with a shaky hand to touch it.

“Weeves…” Rex laced his fingers with Weevil’s and placed their hands on his belly. “I can’t believe it either. I’m carrying our child.”

“I’m… going to be a dad…” Weevil spoke to the unborn child underneath. “ Your dad. I hope you don’t mind having a well-hated duelist as your father.”

“Our kid’s going to have me as a mom! That’s more than enough to compensate for certain bug boys that shall remain nameless.”

“Oh, can it, dino brain.” Weevil would have given Rex a traditional head-bop if the dinosaur duelist wasn’t currently hospital-bound.

All of a sudden, Amber began to feel sad. “That’s… That’s cute. Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” Rex’s smile faded when he noticed Amber’s sorrowful expression. “Amber? Are you okay?”

“I… think I should leave you two lovebirds alone.” With that, Amber made way for the door, and left boyfriends alone. 

“Is she… okay?” Rex blinked at the door. “She sounded jealous, if you ask me.”

“You’re reading too much into it.”

Rex and Weevil wouldn’t stay alone for much longer, because nearly as soon as Amber left the hospital room, Ptera and Tricera came in.

“Oh… Hi, Mom.”

“How many times do I have to tell you to stop with the ‘Hi, Mom?’” Ptera didn’t even sound angry, just worried, as she and Tricera hugged their son while crying. “Oh, my sweet, sweet child…”

When his parents finally stopped crying, Rex spoke, “Speaking of children, there’s something I have to tell you guys. Mom… Mama… I’m pregnant, and Weevil is the father.”

“You… are?” Ptera sounded surprised, which Rex expected.

“Yup. Apparently, I’ve got a womb I didn’t even know about. In fewer than 7 months, you’re going to be a grandma.”

“Oh, I knew that you have both reproductive systems… I’m just surprised you can actually get pregnant.”

“What? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You see, I remember my 20-week ultrasound very well. The doctor told me back then, but assured me that you would only be capable of producing sperm. ...What a quack he was.”

Tricera already knew what Rex wanted to say, and stopped him. “No, Rex, we’re not mad at you. We’re going to help you raise that baby, just like your mom and I started raising you almost 19 years ago.”

“I’m actually really excited that I’m going to be a grandma,” Ptera cooed. “And to think, you’ll be drinking the same tea that helped me through my own morning sickness.”

Before Rex could make a comment on how adorable he thought that was, he noticed a weird man with shaggy brown hair and beard staring at them through the crack in the door. “Huh? What do you want, you creep?”

Ptera immediately shut and locked the door without getting a good look at the mystery man. “Pardon me, I forgot to lock the door. And don’t worry about that guy; I’m sure security will drag his sorry ass out of here.”

“We’ve got more important things to worry about,” Weevil spoke up while holding both of Rex’s hands. “Rex, honey, I’m going to help take care of the both of you, no matter what my father says.”

[singingpeople]

Paying the price

Chapter 15

@pathybo @jojuarez26 @tigpooh67 @beautifulramblingbrains @jaiboomer11 @lets-play-truth-or-dare @carefultheyspit @love17mwh

@iammarylastar @bookwarm85 @deepfrz 

Important: This chapter is wholly unedited, so it may be terrible spelling & sentence wording & all that stuff. But I´m writing from my brother´s PC because the ventilation system of my new one broke down today, making it sound as if he´ll explode anytime soon. I won´t have my brother´s PC very often because he needs it for writing his master thesis & when I have to send mine in (hopefully it´s a guarantee case) I have no idea when I will get it back. Still, I´ll try to make it work with the updates & all :) This chapter is really rough, but bare with me it will get better very soon, I promise! :) Thank you for reading & all the reviews, I´ll try to edit it tomorrow if my brother doesn’t need it! :)

Time is an abstract thing if you think about it. Sometimes it is as if no time at all passed while at other times, it just flies by you, blurring your memories until you don’t remember what day it is or what you did yesterday. For a minute you lose yourself, cease to exist while you feel like walking through honey, your limbs heavy while the world around you is spinning on and on. You are rooted to the spot while everything around you spirals out of control, being so stuck in your own universe that you´de indifferent to the happenings around you, only moments stand out, colorful specks in a world of full of grey.

Have you ever looked down at your own hand, moving your fingers, watching every single muscle contract while asking yourself if this is really your body if this is all you are. All you will ever be. Just a mass of skin and bones that is condemned to walk on this earth until you finally bite the dust.

Or do you ever feel like standing beside yourself, not being the person in control of your own body.  You watch them going through their daily chores like machines, your mind so far away from the empty shell that is considered being alive because it breathes, that only a flicker of pain can bring you back.

I ask myself if someone else ever felt the way I do now. If anyone in this damn city feels everything, every single emotion at once while feeling nothing at all. If their breathing becomes forced the moment they feel the panic rising in their chest until it overwhelms them, consuming them alive but still don´t show any signs of being nervous. If the people in their lives don´t notice it because those people have become so good at acting, always so collected, so calm as if nothing ever bothers them or if the humans that are supposed to support them just don´t care. Maybe they don´t realize they're the exact the opposite of calm and indifferent. They care, maybe too much and about everything. About how to overcome the struggle their facing, if they are worth loving or if they should stop trying at all because, in the end, their struggle will have been in vain. Like always.

Are there walking paradoxes like I am one, a person that is consumed by their fear while simultaneously feeling nothing at all, or am I just crazy?

All I know is, that I was lying in that bed for days, my hands at one point restricted, limiting my movements to the bare minimum, at another free again, giving me the chance to curl up, the fetus position acting as a shield against the world. There were people. Sitting on my bed, trying to talk to me or worse, touching me. I did my best to ignore them and their obnoxious babbling, but it followed me into my dreams, their voices echoing through the empty space that was my mind.

There were also needles piercing my skin, right after living through a very vivid memory that was playing in an endless loop, like a broken tape. Every time I felt myself coming out of what felt like cotton candy clouding my head and got more lively, something cool would touch the back of my hand and I was gone once again, drifting in and out of consciousness.

Funny, I always thought I knew what it felt like to stand beside myself, but in this state, it was so much worse. Every second seemed to last an eternity while hours flew by in a blink of the eye. I knew they had all been here, my mother, Tris, the twins and even Ivy and Avery. But despite Dante not once showing up, his voice telling me that everything would be okay followed me into these strange dreams, lightening the burden I carried with me for at least a little, just for a second making it easier to breathe.

I also knew, that dad always stayed outside the room, only getting a short briefing from the nurse before disappearing again. From one of these conversations that ended in a screaming fit of him, I concluded they had found traces of the fear serum in my bloodstream. Guess now I know where that vivid memory of hot burning iron marring my skin came from.

I came to the conclusion that they had planned this, Edgar had planned this. It was a simple concept, really. Something an erudite could think of. Their methods of calculated mental torturing had me thinking of the scruffy cat I found playing with a little bird when I was on my way home from school. She always gave it the chance to escape, drawing her claws back to created the illusion that the little sparrow was free to leave. The bird, scared as it was always hopped away, not realizing that his eagerness to get away and survive was exactly, what the cat wanted, what it craved. The prey running away from its predator was, what the cat considered fun, the chase what was so thrilling. To crush any hope it may have by capturing it over and over again until it got finally got boring. That was the moment the cat showed mercy and killed it with one bite, ending its agony. The final kill wasn't the satisfying part, it had been the chase, the diminishing of every ounce of hope it may have still had. That was, what got the cat off.

In the end, I would suffer the same fate like this bird. I just wished Edgar and his minions would get it over with and kill me before someone else dear to me would pay the price for being a part of my life. Like Dante almost had.

If he had died in that alleyway, right before my eyes, my life would have been over. Being the cause of one person's death was worse enough, but adding another life to that list would have effectively caused my own demise. My real breaking point, as if I wasn’t pathetic enough right now. It would have been easier than breaking a window in one of those countless crumbling skyscrapers in the heart of the city. Only one stone, for me one bullet to shatter the fragile resistance we still managed to muster.

Yeah, life is an abstract thing, not tangible for the human mind, while love, which is just hormones going crazy inside our heads creating hallucinations, isn’t something for everyone. It certainly isn’t for me. I either end up hurting the people dearest to me in the worst way possible or they die, maybe even both. It was simple as that. No, loving someone and being loved in return was never something that would be granted to me. And as long those around me were happy living their lives, I would go gladly through mine. Alone, until the bite of death would wipe my mortal existence from the face of the earth, until everything that remained was a faint echo of pain and the stardust I was created from restored to its original condition.

The week I spent in the infirmary was one big blur, partly through the meds I was given, partly by the daze that left my whole body numb and my mind fuzzy. In hindsight, everything seemed a little clearer, now that the sedatives didn´t turn my brain into useless mush, but I also knew what I had to do. I knew it from the moment the first gunshot rang through the air, almost killing the one person I wanted to stay out of the shitshow I call live. If being associated with me was a death sentence, I would reduce the number of people in my life to the bare minimum. And that meant only mom.

She had spent the whole time by my side head buried in countless files, only leaving when someone else would come to watch over me. Most of the time their voices faded into background noises while I stared at the white wallpaper, barely blinking. For days. Internalizing every swirl and bump into the wall, I tried to make it easier for them to leave. The moment they would realize I was already a dead man walking was be the moment, they would finally leave me be. Leave me to resign to my fate.

The last string in my heart was ripped apart when Tris thought it would be a good idea to bring Sam to my room. Something to cheer me up she said. Being convinced I couldn’t feel any longer, the sharp pain in my chest when I turned my back towards them, moving for the first time that day, was almost a pleasant sensation. Reminding me that I wasn’t dead yet.

Getting the hint, my aunt left again immediately, trying to explain Sam what was wrong with me when she asked, her voice as curious, as it was sad. Curled up under my blanket that mom specially brought from home I asked myself if she would remember me in the years to come. Maybe it would be better if she didn’t, you couldn't miss what you didn't know, right?   But still, I selfishly wished for it.

After six days that felt like six weeks, I was discharged and sent my way, with a bottle of pills I was supposed to take if I felt anxious or homicidal. Maybe if I sneaked some of them into dad´s food, just a pill or two he would let loose for a day. The thought of him running around in the compound like an amity on peace serum almost made me smile.  Almost.

The majority of the time home I spent in my old room, lying in my bed, staring at the wall. Instead of white, this one was a dark grey, almost black. The only burst of colors being the flames that symbolized everything I wasn’t. Our manifesto told us to fight our fears, no matter the cost of it. It certainly seemed as if I´d lost my sanity trying to do just that, my happiness long gone so it should count at least for something. Thinking of our manifest, I was sure that I would also always stand up for people, maybe even shout for them if I could. But I would never be free from my fears, from the demons that haunted me. They would always control my actions. How cowardly. And because my faction thought this cowardice was to blame for the world's injustice and that the bravery, I didn´t possess, is considered the most important virtue of them all, it is safe to say I have failed my faction before I was even a part of it. That sums my life up perfectly.

After three of four days of peaceful serenity, dad suddenly came storming into the room,  the door slamming against the door, declaring he had enough of it. His face contorted in anger, his eyes blazing fire like they always did before he ended the life of a poor soul. Not being able to help the small sliver of fear, I blinked, trying to scoop away from him, cowering away in the corner of my bed. But he wasn’t having any of it.

Grabbing my wrists, dad wasn´t faced at all by my resistance and dragged me to the bathroom, basically pulling me after him while I stemmed my feet into the floor with all my strength. But it just took him one powerful pull to make me stumble into him. Sensing his chance, dad threw me over his shoulder marching into the bathroom. When he turned on the water I knew exactly what he was planning and I tried my best to get him to put me down, hitting his back with my fists. And then he did.

Grabbing my waist, he heaved me from his shoulder before pushing me directly under the ice-cold water, not giving a damn that I was gasping for air, still dressed in leggings and a shirt or that I was basically freezing to death after only three seconds under the stream.

“You have ten minutes before I want you dressed, ready for training.” With that he was gone, the bathroom door of my en suite slamming shut behind him as I scrambled for the temperature regulator, turning the water scolding hot before peeling the heavy clothes off me.

Like dad demanded, I was done in under ten minutes but instead of waiting for him, I just stormed out of the apartment while he was busy doing something in his study. If he wants me gone, fine. I have no problem with leaving when I know I´m not wanted. But I won´t hang around him all day, listening to how a perfect dauntless would behave. Not today.

It was already evening, the whole day had passed in a blur while I sat hidden away in an alcove on one of the lower levels of the chasm. The way down there was reclusive, only known to a few and I was one of them. 

The sound of water crashing against rock always caused a strange sense of tranquility to wash over me, but with it came also the numbness, the little spark of anger and defiance from this morning gone as soon as it came.

How many days of training I had missed, including this one, I had no idea but I knew, dad would skin me alive as soon as he´d get his hands on me. So my hiding game had to be strong.

Lost in thought, I hadn’t realized how much my back and butt really hurt from sitting on cold, wet stone the whole day but standing up, I almost toppled over. In the last second before falling I managed to regain my balance, swaying on my wobbly feet. Not quite good so close to a hole filled with water that swallowed everyone and everything up, unless you were suicidal. And, I wasn’t yet at that point of my life.

After having scaled the steep pathway, I thought about where to go now. It must have been close to midnight, the white light being replaced by blue, solar powered ones. Going to the dorms, jut like going home wasn´t an option. But since sleep avoided me ever since leaving the infirmary and without the meds, I was content spending my night somewhere I could let my mind wander around, without having to worry about people seeing me.

Letting my feet carry me wherever they wanted, my mind was still reeling about everything and nothing at once. Stopping short, I found myself in front of the training room that whispered for me to step in. Opening the heavy steel doors I did just that. My feet dragging over the rubber floor I soon faced the door of the small chamber in the back. Slowly extending my hand, I pushed this one open too, the memories rushing into my head as soon as I smelled the familiar scent of leather mats, gunpowder and sweat overwhelming me to such an extent I had to support myself on the threshold.

Closing my eyes, I stumbled inside before sinking down on the mats, a few feet away from where Dante and I had first become one. Reliving all the passionate kisses and shared laughter while he sunk himself into me over and over again I found myself reminiscing the first happy memory since landing in the infirmary. The ache in my chest getting almost unbearable. Happiness to have been granted such a special moment in my life. Sadness because there wouldn´t be any more of them. No more stolen kisses or passionate nights, no more covert glances or breathless laughter.

Folding my hands, I pressed them against my chest, drawing in a shaky breath because right in that moment, I could almost see him looking down at me with these warm brown eyes. I could feel his hands traveling across my bare skin, igniting every nerve ending in my body. His smell had been manly, the scent of his sweat not overpowering despite him training the whole day. I could even fucking taste him, his lips moving against mine and I knew he must have been chewing a gum before we kissed, his breath all minty. All these sensations after weeks of numbness were just too much for me. Pressing my palms against my eyes, I rocked back and forth trying to get my composure back. But it was futile.

Slapping my hand against my forehead, I tried harder, almost desperately when suddenly the door to the little chamber was thrown open and he wasn’t any longer a figment of my imagination.

Letting himself fall to his knees beside me, Dante pulled my head up, his hands on either side of my cheeks. His gaze frantically flitting over my face, he let out a relieved breath the moment he realized I was fine, before pulling me into his chest. He laid his chin on my hair and I could feel him taking a deep breath, his arms pulling me even closer to him. “Thank fuck, Lexi! We have been searching for you the whole goddamn day. Your family is going nuts, especially your father.” Letting out an incredulous chuckle, I felt him press his face into my hair, exhaling deeply. “Fuck. I thought something happened to you. Don´t ever do this to me again!”

Having almost forgotten what I had promised myself, I melted into him for a second reveling in the tranquility his touch brought. But then I froze up, not believing I had thrown all my cautions into the wind like this. Like I wouldn’t be the cause of his doom. Instantly feeling something was wrong, Dante drew back a little, looking down at me with worried eyes that tore my soul apart. Not having it in me to withstand him even a second longer, I did was I was best in. I ran.

Pushing him away with all the force I could muster, I was out the door before he could even get up again. But as I sprinted towards the doors leading out of the training room as fast as I could, I realized the lack of sleep and most importantly food had drained my powers. How much exactly, I had to find out when Dante suddenly grabbed by my wrists only inches away from the door and whirled me around, slamming us against the wall beside it.

“Forget it. Not again.” Dante was hovering over me, his muscular body caging me against the wall like he had done so many times before, his breathing ragged. And for the first time, he looked almost angry, his eyes hard and I shrank back, the fury boiling under the surface such a foreign sensation coming from him. “Do you really think I would just let you run away again? Just look where it took us last time!”

Lowering my head in shame, I stared at our chests that were pressed against each other, both heaving heavily. Yes, it had been my fault. My fault he was shot, my fault for freaking out. My fault for making everything worse by mindlessly running after a bunch of guys, I knew wanted nothing more than to kill me.

“Hey.” Dante grabbed my chin, but I tried to push him away, not being able to deal with his proximity. To deal with him and everything he stood for. When my movements turned into real struggling, almost desperately trying to get away from him, Dante captured my hands, pressing them against the wall by my side, rendering me completely immobile. “Lexi, stop it.” When I didn’t, he grabbed both of my wrists in one hand, raising my head with his other. But I lowered my eyes, avoiding his questioning gaze. “Look, I´m sorry for not visiting you in the infirmary but your mother was always there, your brother had me handling the other dauntless-born 24/7 and when I finally had an hour off, I had to deal with the consequences of the patrol debacle. I really tried, though...”

Trailing off, Dante tilted his head, his lips barely brushing over my cheek. Despite wanting to revel in the feeling of his stubbly face against mine and melt into his embrace to forget everything around us once more, I turned my head. Away from his touch, from everything I ever craved. Freezing up, it took Dante a moment before he drew back and from the corner of my eye, I could see him muster me intently. But I stared straight ahead, matching the hurt that crossed his face with an indifferent expression, even though it send sharp jabs into my guts. “Lexi, what´s wrong?” No answer.

“Tell me, please...” After another minute without any reaction from me, Dante positioned his face right in front of mine, causing me to turn away again. He huffed incredulously and I heard it, despite it being so quiet. Not wanting to see the range of emotion my indifferent behavior caused, I closed my eyes willing him to just leave it be and leave me. But he didn’t. Slamming me against the wall once more, frustrated but still careful I wouldn’t get hurt, I cursed the loud, surprised breath that left my lips, not ever wanting him to think I was afraid of him. But I still felt him increasing the space between us so that our chests weren´t touching.

“I see that you obviously want nothing to do with me right now,  Lexi. And I understand it, I totally do. After all, it was my fault you were there, right? That you ended up in the infirmary.”

Biting my lips in despair, I shook my head. He didn’t understand it, none of it. Especially not, that it was for his own good. Me wanting to end whatever we have had nothing to do with him taking me there. the incident just showed me what I had to do. For him.

“Alright, just tell me one thing.” Letting out a breath, I despised the resigned tone in his voice. It was the way everyone spoke to me before giving up for good. “Did you ever have any feelings for me? No matter how little they were, was there something?”

Snapping my head up, my wide eyes met his hooded ones for the first time this evening. Dante´s face was guarded, his brow furrowed but his eyes gave away the vulnerability he felt.

Heart rate speeding up, my breathing quickening I felt my chest constricting, my throat closing in. I would have never assumed Dante would ask such a question in a moment like this. And right now, it was freaking me the hell out. But it was also the opportunity I had waited for, hoped for. To cut him off, to end what could have been the beginning of a perfect relationship. The start of a fairytale where the prince saves his princess and shields her from every harm that may come her way while looking ridiculously good doing it.

But I had never been a princess and in the end, he would just die in the process of trying to save me. If from myself or Edgar, I had no idea... Dante was so much more than a tragic love story gone wrong. He was an amazing human being and had the potential to be great, to achieve something. To become a high ranking member, having a loving wife and maybe even children. The image of a brown haired little boy with Dante´s eyes running around in the compound took my breath away, my heart fracturing as I pictured him kissing some dauntless female on his way to work, while I spent the rest of my life alone. He´d have the perfect family. And I wouldn’t be part of it.

So despite my heart screaming at me to not do it and the knowledge that this would be the one moment in my life, I would never forgive myself for, I shook my head no. Telling him that I didn’t have any feelings for him. Never had and never will.

“Alright.” Nodding his head, before shaking it, Dante stepped back, letting go of my hands while huffing. Immediately the cold started to settle into my whole being, only the spots where his skin had touched mine still burning like fire. The disappointment and hurt in his eyes were so all-consuming that I had to look away, threatened to be swallowed whole.

He took more steps back, seemingly wanting to get space between as while he ran his hands through his hair, jaw gritted. Every inch of space between us enlarged the hole in my chest and I balled my hands into fists, preventing myself from running forward and cling to him. When Dante finally spoke,  chuckling humorlessly as if he couldn’t believe I was such a bitch, his voice was croaky, sounding more than just pained. “Goodbye, Lexi.”

Without one last look, he was gone and I collapsed on the floor. Slinging my arms around myself, I hugged my knees to my chest rocking back and forth, gasping for breath as the hole in my chest seemed to double in size. He was gone, most likely for good, just like I wanted him. My plan had worked out perfectly. But for what price?

Why does doing the right thing hurt so fucking bad?

Sometimes you have to burn the bridges to prevent yourself from making the same mistake twice. And that what I was doing now.

Yesterday, the first day I had gone back to training and two days after Dante and I´s conversation, I almost lost my shit in front of the whole training room. Lyssa approached him, a sly smile on her lips claiming she needed extra training to keep up with the class. Dante hadn’t spared me one glance the whole day, not even uttering one word to me. Despite knowing it would be like this, it still hurt, especially when he told her it wasn’t a problem and smiled at her. A real, genuine smile. I tried to keep my face expressionless but it´s needless to say that my knuckles were almost black after training ended, the jealousy burning a hole through my whole body.

So here I was now, in the bar I first spotted him, trying to prevent myself from doing something utterly stupid by doing something equally stupid. Maybe it was even worse, at least for me. My mind was still reeling from everything that had happened the last few weeks, meeting someone, choosing dauntless, beginning a forbidden affair and ending it in less than a month. If someone ever said to me developing feelings for another person could happen so fast, I would have laughed outright into his face. But now I knew better and considering my stupid plan, I asked myself countless times if I was going nuts by really doing this.

I despised doing this, but I didn’t to pay Dante back, no not at all. But if he started to hate me it would be so much easier for the both of us. Not to mention that it would save him in the end. Because by not associating with me, the target on his back would be gone. And when they would finally get me, it would be so much easier on everyone surrounding me if they were able to tell themselves just how fucked up I really was and that they´re better off without me. Only the truth...

Ordering a shot from Sal who gave me a warm smile, I downed it, disgusted with the strong liquor and myself. But it certainly would take the edge off long enough.

I knew he was there, watching me. After all, I could feel his gaze on my back, causing shivers to erupt all over my body, especially when it started to trace the exposed skin on my neck, my whole body heating up under his scrutiny. Waiting on the barstool, I ordered myself another drink, so close to throwing it up when I suddenly, finally felt a pair of lips caressing my bare skin while two broad arms slung themselves around my waist. “Miss me?”

Turning around, I plastered a fake smile on my lips as I came face to face with a smug looking Freddy. He only pulled me closer to him, burying his face in my neck. Grimacing, I had to suppress the violent urge to push him away, only being able to control my face when I looked up to see two burning eyes watching me intently, condemning me into the depths of hell. Dante was standing on a higher floor of the bar, jaw clenched as he squeezed the neck of his beer bottle to death, while Freddy was peppering light kisses onto my skin. Hurriedly adverting my eyes, I forced my lips into what I hoped was a genuine smile, before I pushed Freddy back to give him a real kiss. He started to moan when his lips met mine, his hands immediately wandering to the small of my back while I was so repulsed by myself I had to keep the bile down, that was rising in my throat. Luckily, Freddy being the simple-minded guy he was, drew back fairly quick, his smile sickly smug while he pulled me from the chair and out of the club.

I knew that Dante had seen every second of this act and that I had succeeded in my mission. From now on, he would despite me with his whole being and I couldn't even be mad about it. When Freddy pulled me closer, slinging his arm around my waist I knew there was no going back to before this all happened. That small glimpse of joy I had been granted being the only happiness I would ever experience. And now knowing what it was like, letting go of it was even harder than it had been before. But I had made my choice.

The last bridge had been burned down.

[shadeof-sage]

I gotta do this. Nobody cares but I gotta do it

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? • "well, I didn't see this coming. Did you?" 2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed? • we don't really talk anymore. I don't really know what happened, but I wish our friendship wasn't ruined. 3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? • I'm down for them to be into anything except for meth 4. Is your last name longer than six letters? • nope. 5 5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? • drunk cause New Year's Eve, baby 6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? •ohhh yeah. it's already happened twice this year 7. What does your last received text say? • "psst" 8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? • I can't remember an exact number but it was multiple times 9. Where was your last kiss at? • in my friends front yard 10. When is the last time you saw your sister? • last night when I got home 11. What do you drink in the morning? • tea, water, oj, and beer on a good day 12. Where did you sleep last night? • my bedaroo 13. Do you think relationships are hard? • they can be if the other person doesn't give equal effort 14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? • ohh yeah, the list is too long to type lol 15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? • nah. we'd most likely start talking about what happened with us. at least I'd hope that would be what happened. it could also just be silent. or, we'd get drunk and then talk about shit. lol 16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? • raining while it's sunny!! 17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? • surprisingly, no. it's such a common middle name 18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? • boxer briefs that I stole from someone. they're comfy as hell 19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? • who knows 20. Does anyone like you? • I'd like to think so 21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? • no, I don't think so 22. Is the last person you kissed gay? • haha no. that would be a plot twist 23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? • Donald Trump 24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? • I plan on getting my whole body tatted 25. In the past week have you cried? • yes, in the shower 26. What breed was the last dog you saw? • a gorgeous German Shepard 27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? • in the shower 28. Have you ever kissed a football player? • 3. unfortunately. those lil fuckboys 29. Do you think you’re old? • my soul is old, but my body isn't 30. Do you like text messaging? •if I wasn't so shy, I'd definitely want to talk on the phone more. text messaging is a good safe zone 31. What type of day are you having? • I just woke up, I don't know yet 32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? • it's been pierced 3 times. it never works out, although I do want to try it again someday 33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? • fucking warm as hell, r u kidding me 34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? •hell yeah, multiple people 35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? • depends. some people are relationship worthy and some people are better as flings 36. Are you a simple or complicated person? • I'd like to think I'm a simple person, but I'm not 37. What song are you listening to? • palemote. it's from my sleep playlist 38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? • wholeheartedly. That's why i don't say it very often 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? • yeppers 40. What made you start liking the person you like now? • I don't really like anyone right now. 41. When did you last receive a text message? • 4 minutes ago 42. What is wrong with you right now? • haha, don't get me started 43. How well do you know the last female you texted? • she works with me and I've never seen her out of work, so not much 44. Does anyone disgust you? • Donald fucking trump 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? • depends who they were and if we have a connection 46. Are you in a good mood right now? • neutral 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? • my sister 48. What color shirt are you wearing? • a darkish blue 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? • yeah. this guy asked me on a date to the movies and it made me cringe a lil bit and I don't know how to get out of it 50. Anyone you’re giving up on? • nope. I don't give up on people. unless they want me out of their life completely 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? • no. I'm still in love with him actually. I can't really move on because I haven't had the closer that I need 52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? • you have no idea 53. Do you like rain? • I crave it 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? • nah, we'll having drinking competitions 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? • haha yep. but I didn't tell them because I was too afraid that I was going to get hurt 56. Do you like to cuddle? • I love it, I just can't fall asleep when cuddled 57. Are you shy? • depends on who the person is. I try not to be 58. Do you get along with girls? • yessss, all da girls are my friendz 59. Have you dated the person you texted last? • no, and I don't want to 60. What do you carry with you at all times? • haha, this one will be funny. i carry my wallet, 4 lighters, weed, a pipe, rolling papers, makeup bag, 2 chapsticks, something minty, eye drops, naproxen sodium (for nasty ass migraines), a flashlight, phone charger, a water bottle and an old spice container I put tequila in sometimes so I can have a little somethin somethin during the day 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? • GHOSTS! :D :D :D 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? • I've never even had a relationship in general, but I'd hope so lol 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? • nah, single as the pringles I was eatin 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? • yes, I'd cry a little bit on the inside 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? • probably. can't remember anything too special though 66. How old are the last three people you kissed? • hahaha. 21, 20, and 28 67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? • pay to get them done, I need those nice ass acrylics 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? • sheer print. heh. 69. Do you have any stickers on your car? • if I had a car, I'd have a shit load of stickers 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? • Luke Bryan makes me want to claw my ears off, so lil Wayne it is 71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? • iPhone. Always. 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? • ew. 73. Do you like diet soda? • I don't like soda in general. except for sprite when my tummy hurts. 74. What color are the walls in your room? • boring and white 75. Are you 16 or older? • turned 18 a month ago, boyyyy 76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? • I used to, now I think it's been carried out for too long so it bores me. 77. Do you have a job? • I got 2 78. What are your initials? • S.A.B. 79. Did you ever have braces? • yes, and I might need them again because my teeth hate me 80. Are you from the south? • nahh, Texans are hot as fuck though 81. What does your last status on facebook say? • it's a picture of the curly haired kid from Stranger Things pointing to a number on the wall that says "11" and the text above it says " on a scale of 1 to 10, how stressed out are you?" 82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? • noooo, I don't even think he's alive. sadly 83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? • I was closer to my mom. Lately, I've been feeling like I'm drifting away from both of them. 84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? • I did gymnastics for 3 years when I was little 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? • split 86. Do you smoke? • not cigarettes but hella weed 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? • depends on the occasion because I look good in both 88. Is your phone touch screen? • nah, this iPhone is from 1999. it has a keyboard hooked into it 89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? • since its growing out right now, the only way it looks good is if it's curly 90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? • too many times to count 91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? • all of the above 92. Have you ever made out in a car? • yes 93. …Had sex in a car? • nah, but I've given sloppy dick kisses multiple times in a car 94. Are you single or in a relationship? • been single since 1999 95. What were you doing last night at midnight? • fast the fuck asleep 96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? • New Year's Eve 97. Do you like the camera on your phone? • it's not the bestest of the best. but it does its job 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? • yep. it never ends well and I end up losing that friend :( 99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? • ugh. yes. I hate it 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? • no. they're probably blocked 101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? • yeah, when I was 14. not good. I know 102. Name your favorite Kesha song: • sleazy. my go to song when I was 13. lmao 103. Do you have any tan lines right now? • yesssss and imma get more today 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? • I'd wear heels or doc martens with shorts. word.