#its both funny and toxic
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Ngl I'm a sucker for those lawlight aus where L lives and catches Light, but instead of imprisoning him in a jailhouse, he just "Yeah I'm keeping this serial killer to myself"
#house arrest but is nightmare version of it /j#its both funny and toxic#death note#lawlight#my posts#salem.txt
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BLACKQUILL DOODLE DUMP #2
ah yes my favorite toxic yaoi ever /silly /j
#zoro's blogs#zoro's doodles#zoro's arts#lego monkie kid#lmk peng#lmk macaque#blackquillshipping#peng x macaque#i hope they both explode#theyre a mental illness to me i stg /silly#all their problems would have been solved if they just fucking kissed#its okay guys#in my brain theyre married and in love#toxic yaoi so funny it became a comfort ship to me
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0306 ship fic? 👉👈
So. I usually don't like writing sappy ship things because 1. my aroace ass isn't great at it and I'd rather leave that to the more skilled fanbase, and 2. I like exploring elements of a developing relationship other than physical moments. However. However. I was hit with Fluff Beam while writing this, so first kiss with Mappi fic be upon ye :')
“Won’t you kiss me, Fuuta-kun?”
He tipped his head back with a drawn-out noise of exasperation. This wasn’t a new or surprising question by any means. He always hated when it came up, though. He waved the mixing spoon in the air.
“Don’t you ever get tired of all that sappy romance stuff? You’ve asked me enough times…” And each time, I have to endure the pain of lying to you. “Can’t you see I’m busy? Helping you, for that matter!”
He used the spoon to gesture to the baking supplies cluttering the prison’s tiny kitchen, flinging some strawberry filling in the process. Mahiru had started a batch of cupcakes in celebration that her arm had come out of its sling, only for it to start hurting halfway through from the overuse. If Fuuta had known that yanking the bowl away from her would volunteer him to finish the whole project, he would have thought twice about it. He still would have done it, of course, but he’d at least have thought twice.
Fortunately, Mahiru was a good teacher who hovered over his shoulder to explain each step in great detail without ever sounding patronizing. Unfortunately, it became more difficult to deny her request when she leaned so close, continuing to pry.
“Isn’t that the best reason? You’re being so kind, Mahiru should return the favor.”
“No, you shouldn’t have to 'return' anything! I’m doing this because I…” he swallowed. “Because I think you’re an idiot for going and getting yourself hurt again!”
“Oh, don’t say that, Fuuta-kun!” She giggled, not sounding hurt at all. She never did.
“It’s true!” She was indeed an idiot, the way she kept pestering him for something more. As usual, her mind had flown somewhere far outside of reality. Whatever she was picturing between her and Fuuta was nothing but one-sided romance. She was the one that warmed the room when she came in. She was the one who created butterflies in stomachs and blushes in cheeks. She was the one that made any of this feel like anything.
Fuuta, on the other hand, knew he brought nothing to the table. If she thought he was kind, it was all in her head. If she viewed him as attractive, it was definitely nothing but her fantasy. And now, if she anticipated him being a good kisser, it was just another delusion she’d lost herself in. As usual, she needed someone to save her from such delusions. That, at least, was the one good thing he could do for her.
“Just forget it, will ya? It’s not gonna happen.”
Behind him, Mahiru said nothing. He finished stirring in the final ingredient. He turned to ask her what came next, only to discover the most heartbroken expression he’d ever seen on her. She sniffled.
“Mappi!”
“I-I’m sorry. I was too much again, wasn’t I? I understand. I know… I know anyone would be afraid to kiss me.”
“Afraid? I’m not afraid!”
“Well, I mean,” she lowered her head, strands of hair falling over her eyes. “Given my record with boyfriends, it really wouldn’t be smart to fall in love with me, hm?”
“You callin’ me stupid?” The question came tumbling out before Fuuta realized the confession embedded within them. Mahiru’s head snapped up, the prior mist in her eyes made them shine with excitement, now.
She opened her mouth to point out the obvious. Fuuta shoved a spoonful of strawberry filling between her lips, panicking.
“Tell me if that needs anything else!” He turned on his heel, slamming the bowl down on the counter.
He took a measured inhale. Then an exhale. He squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m not scared, you know? I… I would really want to. T-to kiss you, I mean. But if I did, it’ll only prove to you that you don’t really want this.” He turned. “It’ll only make you more upset, and I’m not the – agk!”
Mahiru cupped his cheeks and brought him down to her lips. He made a little strangled sound as he was pressed back into the counter. At that moment, Fuuta had a total of three trains of thought before his brain fried like an overheating computer and went blank.
The first: Holy shit!
Second: I’ve never done this before. God, am I doing this right? What am I supposed to do with my hands? Or my mouth? Should I keep holding my breath? I’m definitely not doing this right.
And third: Holy shiiiiiiiit!
When she pulled away, rosy-cheeked and smiling wide, Fuuta’s arm instinctively reached up to hide his face. He was painfully aware of the burning across his skin, surely turning him a mortifying shade of red.
“Well?” She asked, seemingly oblivious to the state she’d reduced him to. “That was proof enough for Mahiru! What about Fuuta-kun?”
“I-I, well. You –" You tasted like strawberries. “You’re damned lucky no one was around, pulling a stunt like that!”
Mahiru waved the comment away with a fluttery hand gesture. “I meant, what did you think? That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
He scowled at her. “I… I don’t know!”
Mahiru considered the statement. Rather than realize that, for the first time in his life, Fuuta was rendered entirely speechless, she took it at face value. “Well, then, I suppose we’ll just have to try again~”
“Wait, wha–?”
#milgram#mahiru shiina#fuuta kajiyama#0306#i like that her major flaw of overbearing/crossing boundaries is her strength here -- fuuta is never in a million years going to get over#his cowardice and self loathing and make the first move#so while her forcing (two!) first kisses would be toxic for others- its exactly what he needs <3#i also loooove their food symbolism and i was really excited to play around with that here#i wanted to include lines about heat too since they both have 'overheating' motifs but it sounded too steamy when i meant it in general#i was picturing mahiru just pushing him back into the counter but it was SO funny remembering hes actually tall in this fic 😂#i think mahiru makes it clear how much she gushes over people she loves so i wanted fuutas pov of how hard hes fallen for her#even if he doesnt see it in such a sentimental light in his own mind lmao#'man this lady is a DUMBASS because she *checks notes* is the specialist most wonderfulest woman in the world and is out of my league'#thank you so much for the request pal!!#yeah i have no clue what struck me to run with such a sappy kiss like this but im so glad i did 🍰🍓#drabbles
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Old mask yaoi 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️😱😱😱😱
#also does anyone know if there is a word for nonbinary people loving nonbinary people because i think that should have its own word#me and my lover are both nonbinary in our own ways and we don't even know if theres a word for that#'toxic yaoi' this 'doomed yuri' that 'explosive heterosexual' whatever. give me one for nonbinary couples please i need a funny word for it#scp 035#scp 049#scp#scp 049 x scp 035#scp 035 x scp 049
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i always find it deeply irritating when people are criticising something i agree sucks and raise something i also think sucks as an example of 'how to do it right'. like i think you missed what i hated about it
#i see it with a lot of videos talking about mr birchum (that shit daily wire sitcom)#bc people keep saying king of the hill handles the worldview conflict involved with more nuance and it literally doesn't#americans just find mike judge funny for some reason (seriously I've never met a non-american who likes koth#it's like the rest of the world knows it's trash. the country music of cartoons)#i also remember someone criticising demon slayer and saying berserk does its ideas better#which is ludicrous bc they both have the exact same 'toxic masculinity is good actually' bollocks undertone going on#it's annoying bc i can think of better comparisons off the top of my head#for the former you could point out how south park is more even handed with its political satire#and with the latter how anime like cowboy bebop demonstrate toxic masculinity as having damaging consequences for the characters#don't mind me this is just me being petty lol
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Interesting that Sektor and Noob/Sub Zero are a thing now but imo...she shouldve been a lesbian. Like girl, Cyrax is RIGHT THERE 😭😭
#mortal kombat#mk1#wasted potential imo#however its kinda funny that theyre a thing tho. like theyre both crazy as hell#toxic power couple loool
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They're in love (you don't know the lore like I do (I also don't know the lore))
#guys im so unwell over mango bill hes a cutie#HIS NAME IS LITERALLY MANGO BILL OF COURSE I LOVE HIM#fango MANGO....MANGO bill#it makes sense i love him#if anyone says anything about my intros or transitions im coming into your house and throw chairs at you 😤#shameless plug for my tiktok go follow it 😃👍#mango bill#mango pablo bill#bill cipher#gravity falls bill cipher#bill cipher gravity falls#bill gravity falls#gravity falls bill#smiling friends#smiling friends charlie#charlie smiling friends#crackship#rairpair#cross ship#guys theyre in love (both have cheated on each other)#first bill cheated on charlie with ford while charlie was away#then bill got muted on pt (i swore too much oops 030) and then literally a few seconds after that charlie came back#and pim told charlie what bill had done and then they broke up (booo)#then a few days later bill explained to charlie what he had done and why and charlie i think took bill back#for like...a second then charlie got with pim...#and then it got hella messy#(nit even to get started on Twink bill (specifically that infamous design) x pim)#(both are toxic for each other its really funny)#(also play pony town with me 😤i clearly play it correctly (obviously))
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don't keep up enough so i dont know a thing about that cerise shit but the hatred for lila well i just dont get it...cant a girl cause problems? shes funny. lila and adrien shouldve been toxic friends or something. i still advocate for them getting into a catfight in the school parking lot .and using nails & pulling hair.
#cal.ibrations#ml#miraculous ladybug#like i just think its funny like she gets on everyones nervessss like she got on adriens nerves somehow lmao#everything needs to look fine and then at the end of the school year lila and adrien get into the UGLIEST fight imaginable .#and everyone thinks its the most out of character thing to ever happen for both of them. and then its normal next day#i dont know why this is what is in my head but it rlly is like i just think lila is FUNNN shes toxic FUN#she needs to be a part of the friend group and make people worse. for me.
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healthy/wholesome deathglare is rlly cool but i also like it when they r killing eachother w hammers
#get u yaoi so toxic even generally healthy sentiments become twisted cuz theyre just so Fucked up n Evil#like my fav example of mfs who make eachother worse#its funny asf tho#big angst potential but i love it when its for shits n giggles#its so interesting deathglare can be both#it can be wholesome n toxic n angsty n funny#n they have like 4 separate dynamics in them its crazy#goldmine of a ship frfr#why do they have sm going on#pbj
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LAST ARTFIGHT ATTACK FOR THIS YEAR. me and @james-fun-in-the-sunderland joke about how much our ocs would get along/make each other worse so i made it real. 6'6 guy is vicky love, 5'4 guy is *i am shot and killed*
#i wanted to make him a character sheet for art fight but he is so hard to draw in my usual style 😭#also im too embarassed to talk about him because i dont actually have ocs. i have characters that i steal from their source media#and then distort until they are unrecognizable. what can i say its a living#ANYWAYS if you know you know. ill get over myself at some point and then i can start posting my funny oc meme images#tl;dr vicky and [redacted] are both like. terminally toxic masculinity-pilled.#my art#others ocs#my ocs#art fight
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I love Tom Wambsgams, man is so psychosexually obsessed with his wife's loserboy canadian cousin he's pushing the gas floorin it down so hard toxic masculinity road he lost control of the wheel and veered off course to homoerotic lane
#and its so fucking FUNNY#tom said YES im gay YES im homophobic we exist#tomgreg#man i just think this ship is hilarious i dont even watch the show i hate them both so much ❤#its toxic its unhealthy its weird its kinda gross and most importantly its ENTERTAINING
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// So the cracked game totally works but took almost 10 hours to install, but that's okay cuz Viktor and his clothes work now! I made Liz too lol
// they match hehehe
#( ooc )#( tbd )#[[ sims 4 stuff lol ]]#[[ all the things work now AND i get to explore the dlc i never had ]]#[[ Also! i made them partners but with a Strained relationship ]]#[[ and BOY they are speedrunning divorce with how often they fight with each other lol ]]#[[ their relationship bars are both in the red; its so funny ]]#[[ this is their dynamic; toxic in both the emotional and physical lol ]]
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anyway i need to hang out with my brother again he is the one person who i am pretty sure knows literally everything about me so he's the only person i trust that i can absolutely not disappoint. nothing i can do could be worse than the sum of everything i've been doing to that poor man (and him to me) the past 19 years
#especially now that im back into literally the only interest we actually share on a deep enough level to enjoy it together LOL#i mean we were also both into hannibal but thats just not an enjoyable show to watch together its too much effort#but wow that time we read das boot slash fanfic on the bus together that was awesome#and the time we wrote fanfic together lol LITERALLY WHY DID WE STOP#he has only gotten cooler and more comfortable with his gayness since then we need to write fanfic again ‼️#anyway i feel sorry for every person in my life but i dont think anyone ill ever know could ever have as close a relationship to me as him#were platonic soulmates lol but like not in the spiritual sense bc its pretty obvious that its not some supernatural bond#its juuuust shared trauma haha and the fact that our trauma is so complex and layered that only we will ever truly understand each other#there has been a really rough patch where we practically did not talk for 4... 5? whole years im serious. maybe on the weekends sometimes#while we were stewing in our own shit. but now were inseperable i think it actually pisses off the rest of our family because every time#theres some event where we meet again (we live like 5 hours apart) we only hang around for like an hour before we get in his car#and drive somewhere and hang out there for the rest of the day and night and only return at like 3am drunk#in a sense i guess were catching up on all the missed time#to be honest we both had some horrible shit going on in our heads me with the transgenderism and toxic relationship#him with his anger issues and (what he calls) psychopathy. like ill say this much he was not a good person as a child he was a devil#he was quite literally what some describe as born evil like u know those satans spawns kids that cut off babys fingers and dissect rabbits#all that yk. and i was his first and most frequent victim due to availability lol and my parents did not know any of it and if they did#they ignored it. so yeah u can imagine the relationship was a little strained and for a long time i lived in fear of him#also due to all the death threats and attempts on my life HAHA its kinda funny because i can say all this all detached now#but i think to anyone else this sounds mad as hell. like im not talking roughhousing or being mad at each other#he was always scarily calm and hyperintelligent he was actually diagnosed with some form of like super high intelligence that#makes kids capable of being really manipulative and thats what he used at every turn. everything was always calculated that was scary#if he was nice to me i would question if he was trying to lure me somewhere to hurt me yk?#anyway. sometimes those old thoughts come back when were hanging out alone but mostly i know hes changed and worked on himself#sorry oversharing oh wow
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i love to make up horrible toxic fanon ships for my own ocs. its so funny 2 me and also interesting..... like every combination of characters that could conceivably happen i have thought about. some of them would 100% without a doubt make each other WORSE. some of them i genuinely think couldve worked if i had come up with them earlier and invested the time into their romantic relationship. some of them are actual jokes between my characters in "canon" bcuz specifically i think the idea of jayden thinking two is hot is funny Tbh. like he doesn't want u bro!!!!!! he barely even wants sunshine!!!!!
#examples of extremely toxic ships that are funny to think about: starr/jayden#ships where they make each other worse and destroy each other in a hand in unloveable hand ass situation: sunshine/starr#ships that are funny to only me: two/jayden#ships that might maybe work out in a weird parallel universe: starr/blue#important to understand theyre all FRIENDS and have a relationship with each other.no matter what#but there's a difference between being casual friends who mostly incidently know each other and like. Full lifetime commitment#im sure jayden and starr hooked up at least once though. just for fun. They kinda hate each other still#jayden is Better than starr and they both know itttt#blue wouldnt have a romantic relationship with two but they ARE besties. literally. Lesbian and their middle aged gay bestie#well it takes some work but they get there eventually#blue is better at empathizing and meeting ppl where they're at than most..... so they get along with pretty much everyone always#relationships like sunshine and blue. theres nothing even there its not dramatic theyre just friends..... but i think about them too#nobody gets to opt out of the group polycule </3#txt#object ocs
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Has no one thought about q! Codebreakers and 4halo double date think about it guys please think about it it's too funny guys plea- *dies*
#qsmp shipping#qsmp 4halo#qsmp codebreakers#i imagined that phil and bad helped eachother get ready but didnt know each other's date#I JUST KNOW Q! FOREVER WOULD GO THROUGH A ROLLERCOASTER OF EMOTIONS#also its funny because codebreakers are so fluff and soft but their ideal date is to go on a rampage and destroy shit#while 4halo the epitome of toxic old man yaoi goes on a romantic fancy dinner date#i love them both pls#kubus rambles#i might draw this actually who knows
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that damn web comic is rattling around in my brain ...
#i just felt smacked in the face with a mirror reality something i could see not only myself but so many other people i know/have known in#with a frighteningly sharp precision#some of the people in whn look IDENTICAL to real life friends or exes or people i knew in high school or coworkers#i sent it to my friend and he said 'i feel like this HAPPENED to someone i know'#i keep thinking about that awful feedback loop of mental illness isolation and social media addiction#but its so much more complicated than 'touch grass' like you could shoot all these peoples phones#and theyd just turn to something equally toxic and retraumatizing and self-flagellating#they already show this because they have ed's and self harm and abuse substances and spend money they dont have#the chronic online-ness is a symptom not the disease#the thing that makes me a little sick is how much i relate to milo refusing to delete his tumblr even after everything#i have had instances in my life where posting on tumblr was actively making my life worse or harder or getting in the way of real shit#and i still use it as a crutch in the worst of times#its just funny cuz its this thing that saves you from riskier vices while still obviously perpetuating those things#because its a place that reflects You so heavily#you reblog sad shit cause youre sad and it makes you sadder#you wanna self harm you see people post their cutting pics now you feel like its not so weird or bad#its making me ask questions like 'am i stunted' 'what does it mean to be stunted' and then of course#when is someone 'acting like a victim' and just A Victim and can you do both and what does that mean#man....
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