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cherryrikis · 24 days

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ONE LESS LONELY GIRL - 014 ! im one less lonely girl

PAIRING idols riki x fem reader

SYNOPSIS fans always point out the chemistry between you and riki, and it only continues to grow after you become mc’s together on music bank. but as your feelings rise, so does the tension. and people begin to notice, so you try not to let riki know how you feel. but unbeknownst to you, he feels entirely the same way.

authors note so thats a wrap! just like that, its over. this is technically the last official part bc ep15 is more like an epilogue/can be read as a standalone, but its still just as meaningful to the plot. i had so much fun writing this and i gained so much support and so many new moots. i love you all and thank you for staying here even though i struggled to update while juggling school and work. 💗

previous <> masterlist <> next

“i’m so sad to announce that today will be our last show together, as our contract has reached its end.” you read off the script, lightly patting your waterline with the pad of your pointer finger.

“but, i hope this won’t be the last time we see each other. i am very thankful for this opportunity.” riki spoke as he looked into the camera lens, before moving closer to link his arm with yours.

“this was newjeans’ y/n,” “and this was enhypen’s ni-ki! please look forward to our future projects. we may no longer mc together, but we will forever be a couple together. thank you everyone!”

the cameras stopped rolling, and the red light turned off which signaled the recording was over.

staff and crew rushed to the both of you, so you were immediately bombarded with baskets of fruit, chocolates, snd two flower bouquets.

“this is for a good few months of connecting together. thank you for your hard work and dedication.” the head of the staff greeted, as his assistants handed out your gifts.

“thank you sir. we look forward to seeing more of you in the future!” the two of you bowed, before leaving to head backstage.

“dani said she’s gonna come with everyone else to pick us up. they want to get dinner at that chicken spot to celebrate our contract ending.” you informed riki, turning to show the texts in the group chat as he finished changing out his stage outfit.

hyein! - ‘congrats, you’re free from the chains music bank had you bounded into!🥳🎉’

danii 💗 - ‘me and enjeans are gonna get u guys from work so we can get chicken. great job on mubank :)’

riki chuckled, before handing your phone back to you. “sunghoon and heeseung are gonna get so drunk. so, beware.” he emphasized.

“no worries. im stuck with you anyway.” you sighed, gently punching his shoulder.

“here’s to riki and y/n, for finally being free from kbs! i hope none of us ever have to mc again.” sunghoon toasted as he raised his glass, after jake poured everyone shots.

“for real. we barely saw you guys while you were signed to that contract.” minji nudged your shoulder.

hyein burst out laughing, almost spilling the drinks scattered around her place at the table. “if you guys weren’t dating, y/n would’ve been sobbing because she’d never see you again!”

“is.. is she, drunk?” sunoo raised a brow, gently pulling hyein’s hood over her head.

“sunoo! she’s underage! all i got her were 2 shirley temples.” danielle gasped.

“okay! enough. we’re in public.” riki announced. “baby? go ahead my love.” he gestured sweetly for you to make your speech.

“thanks ‘ki.” you smiled. “i’m pretty happy our managers decided to let us have a joint interview that day. if we didn’t, me and riki probably would’ve never met. so, i’m glad music bank happened. otherwise, i couldn’t call this kid here my boyfriend.” you spoke, moving to wrap your arms around riki in a soft hug.

“cheers!” everyone exclaimed in awe.

as your group members around you yelled out congratulatory speeches, all riki could think about was you.

because now that you could be in his arms in public with no repercussions, that was all that mattered.

you looked at him with a bright smile, and riki could feel his heart melt as your expression.

the world had one less lonely girl.

TAGLIST (italics = couldnt be tagged) @hannicorpse @luvvhaerin @chaevibes @en-verse @ren2jay @choppedballoondetective @heartheejake @imanalien143 @istglevi-gotmesimping @yndairy @eleanorheartschishiya @lonelylandofan @gweoriz @jaemified @onlyhyunjin @softpia @frecklesbrownies @riksaes @wensurr @rikifordmiami @brideslit @ant-onie @yumilovesloona @aeminju @hoonics @catecita @clampclover @rei4sunoo @addictedtohobi @rikidaze @baekxo07 @xotyla @melancholy-z @rikisgeef @jung1w0n @tocupid @onlyseung @i03jae @iheartshopping @istphanie @queenriki7 @academiq @1117promises @nctislifue @haechansbbg @rairaiblog @nabia-bia @pkjay @lixiebokie @hiekoo @r1kizerr @d-dilemma @kingofthekards @iilwji @hoonatic @woorcve @enhaz1

#enhypen x reader #enhypen #niki smau #niki x reader #enhypen niki #enhypen imagines #nishimura riki #enhypen smau #riki x reader #enhypen scenarios

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astonmartingf · 6 months

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YOUR GENTLEMAN ; LH44

— a slice of domesticity as you experience living with lewis for the first time

amgf set during the pandemic, nico rosberg mention, yay!

masterlist

Living with Lewis in Monaco definitely had its perks, but it was also coupled with drawbacks.

When you moved in, you thought it was a short stint but the few weeks turned into months, and soon you found yourself spending the whole year with him.

In the beginning you definitely found more pros than cons, living in Monaco is like a dream, especially since it was with Lewis, it only made it more special.

But as you spent more time, you found yourself growing anxious, and empty. Isolated from your family and friends, away into a foreign country, where you barely knew anyone.

"Are you sure you're okay with me going to Nico's?" You ask Lewis for the umpteenth time. Opening up last night how you felt yourself slowly going insane staying indoors. That's when Lewis suggested that you visit Nico and his family downstairs.

"I'm sure, look we've been friends since forever, and I know that you miss Nico and his family. I'm busy going to races, and you're stuck here. It's okay." Comforting your worries away, Lewis pulls you into a small hug assuring you that it's all good.

"I do miss Nico, I haven't seen him since he left you know, and you— you're both awkward together."

Lewis sends you a pointed look, "We're working on it okay, it's not like I avoid him every time I see him."

You scoff in reply, "As if you give the universe a chance for you to meet. You're always avoiding him, you literally live in the same building together."

Lewis shakes his head, clearly disagreeing with your sentiments, "You know what I'm going to walk you over to Nico's tomorrow and talk to him just to prove to you I'm not awkward with him."

"You're acting like I'm a kid handing me out on a play date! Also that's not counted since you're just going there to prove a point to yourself that you aren't affected."

Pushing a finger in front of your lips, Lewis shushed you pushing you towards your bedroom. "It's time for us to sleep, we both have a busy day ahead."

Rolling your eyes, you were met with a closed door. Following the sounds of Lewis' slippers shuffling back to his bed.

Despite being annoyed you can't find fault with him, you both had a busy day tomorrow with you spending time with the Rosberg's and Lewis with a flight to wherever the next race is.

Spending time with Nico and his family definitely boosted your mood, often forgetting about Lewis as he's constantly in and out of the country. But instead of moping in his apartment you find yourself looking forward to his arrival.

You avoid messaging Lewis during race weeks, keeping to yourself and leaving the F1 Channel playing in the background for any updates. It's nice to keep Lewis focused on the track but it also means that whatever you see on television, is all the information you have on him.

And during inadequate race conditions you're constantly stressing yourself, every yellow flag, weather update, red flag, pit stop, and other potential crashes have you on your toes.

Yet somehow, Lewis always finds a way to comfort you even if he is miles away from you. Immediately answering the radio about his updates (if he is a part of the crash) it's as if he's constantly assuring you that he is doing fine inside the car.

One time you were eating dinner after a long day with Nico's daughters, you find yourself looking forward to coming back to Lewis' apartment. Which at this point is no longer his only, it's a shared space for you two, mostly yours as you spend more time in it than him.

Cooking up something simple, you sit in solidarity finding peace in your little set up. Placing the ceramic bowl you designed with Lewis a few years back on the coffee table at the living room, instead of eating in the dining area, watching a replay of Lewis' dashboard from a previous race.

It feels like he's beside you, you find yourself listening to him as he talks with his engineers, watching his hands grip the steering wheel going lap over lap, doing what he does the best.

You end your days the same, until Lewis comes back. And it happened to be one of those days. The bell catches you off guard from taking a bite of your dinner, looking up, you find the door swing open revealing Lewis from behind.

"OH MY GOSH!" Standing up from the floor your legs stumble at the speed of your reaction. Throwing yourself at Lewis who dropped his bags at the entrance, forgotten as he wrapped his arms around yours.

"OH NO! I didn't cook dinner for you. Why didn't you tell me you were coming home?" Breaking from the hug, you smack his arm scrambling to the kitchen for a last minute meal.

You hear the sound of Lewis' laughter behind, your heart warming at the sound of his presence immediately filling the empty space in the apartment. "You don't have to cook me anything, I can make myself food."

You feel Lewis behind you as you shake your head in disappointment. "That's not it, you just came home you must be starving– how about you have my meal down there in the living room. It's fried rice, it's vegan I was about to eat so it's still warm and I can make something real quick so you can rest and-"

You were cut off with Lewis feeding you a spoon of what was supposedly your dinner. "Calm down sweetheart, we can share the bowl if you really want me to eat that bad."

A frown forms on your face, deep in thought, slowly chewing the spoonful of food, before staring into Lewis' brown eyes.

Dragging him towards the living room, you push him into the sofa before grabbing the bowl of fried rice off his hands. "Are you not hungry? You don't have to eat if you're not! You know what you should sit down and rest, or do you want to take a short bath? I can-"

"I can do those things myself. You're stressing over me when I'm at races, and when I'm here you're also stressing yourself over me. You're supposed to relax." Softly grabbing your hands, Lewis pushes you next to him on the sofa.

"I can't help it you know. It's instinct at this point. When I first started living here you basically took care of me when I was feeling down, and now I'm doing the same. We need to take care of each other Lewis, I'm basically responsible for you."

Nodding slowly in agreement, Lewis grabs your hands holding it into his, "And I'm also responsible for you, which I'd like to think is more important than me. I can't have you stressed over your time here, imagine what your parents will say- God forbid, what my parents say."

You gasp, laughing at his statement, "My well being is more important? I think not, you're literally out there racing and going out- imagine Toto Wolff calling me because you're not in perfect condition."

"Then let me handle it. I doubt Toto has anything bad to say about you." Lewis mumbles under his breath, but you catch his statement.

"What would Toto Wolff know about me? What have you been talking about Lewis? I swear if you're spreading that I'm not taking care of you, I'll actually reveal to the world that you're still awkward with Nico."

Your threat seems to leave little to no effect then you expect, but at least you got him laughing.

Happy drivers mean good results.

"And you don't have to tiptoe around me, I doubt anyone has the balls to say that to my face except you- maybe Seb, but it doesn't matter. You don't have to worry about me, my racing, or my relationship with Nico."

Your eyes squint at his statement, still not believing him. His eyes meet yours, not giving up.

"Fine." You lower your gaze first.

"Let me draw you a bath though." Before Lewis could complain, you march towards the bathroom. Behind you, you hear Lewis laughing, you can see him shaking his head in disbelief.

"After that you better finish your dinner, then tomorrow we can do something together."

You smile to yourself, nodding in agreement. Despite the circumstances, you'd rather spend your time with Lewis like this. At the end of the day, even if you're miles apart from each other you will always come back to each other.

#f1 x reader #f1 fluff #f1 imagine #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton fluff #lewis hamilton imagine

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kiwixlime · 18 days

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Quiet and Confident

X is for Xennial

You really love this old man.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader Notes: I haven’t died! I have just been through so much since I last updated anything and as much as I told myself I could do things, I just wasn’t in the right headspace. In these two years, I’ve fallen in and out of love, dealt with natural disasters, ups and lows of my emotions, and a boring list of other things. But I’ve been going down the rabbit hole lately, replaying my games, and I’ve been missing my boys so badly. And for the first time in forever, I have the inspiration to pick up where I left off. Who knows how long this will last. But right now, it feels right. I feel happy and ready to move on. So I present this. I felt it was the easiest way to ease back into writing. A simple and short one shot that of course includes our favorite dilf. Warnings because we need those: Just some fluff and some suggestive conversation. Age gap, obviously. I love old man Joel. It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything interesting so I’m not ready to dive right back into the smut yet haha. Soon, though! Soon. Anyway, this is short and sweet because it’s been a roadblock in my drafts and I have better things planned and I just want to get this out of the way. Definitely not my best work, but I promise better things are ahead.

“Ha, Xennial.”

“Somethin’ funny to you?”

“Nope, nothing.”

“You’re askin’ for it.”

“Asking for what, grandpa?”

Joel groans and mutters something to himself. You can’t help but laugh, sitting up in your bed, bringing your arms out in front of you to stretch yourself awake. The sun barely seeps through the curtains of your bedroom, but there’s enough of a glow for you to take in the markings that embellish your wrists. You smile, tucking your hands into your lap.

“We should be more careful,” you express, catching his attention again.

Curious, he enters your room, closing the bathroom door behind him. His sculpted figure makes its way to the edge of your bed. You stare in awe as he stands tall over you. He's old, but he's Godly. So fucking Godly. With a concerned pout, he holds his hands out, urging you to show him your wounds.

When you comply, revealing the reddening marks and deepening bruises, he frowns. In the moment, he loves being rough with you. There's nothing better than listening to you beg and plead and whimper like a desperate little bitch. But once the lust wears out, he feels a little bad for treating you so...dirty.

“Sorry, princess,” he hums and brings your wrists to his lips. His warm breath hits your skin, sending goosebumps up your arms and warmth throughout your belly. “Grandpa just can’t help himself.”

“Oh, ew,” you whine, yanking yourself away from him. You fall back onto the bed, pulling the sheet up with you to cover your grossed-out face. You started it, but ew. “You ruined it.”

“Hey,” he chuckles, lowering himself onto the mattress with you. “You started it. Callin’ me old 'n' shit.”

“I’m sorry!” You giggle, exposing your face to him as he slowly pulls the white cotton fabric off your body. He's barely listening as he takes in the sight of you, gorgeous and innocent, just for him. “I just can’t get over it. Xennial.”

“Why is that so fuckin’ funny to you?” He asks with a smile, his focus back on your face, finding you absolutely adorable with your cheeky smile and glistening eyes.

Last night, before heading home, you guys were out with your sister and his brother and a few others, just shooting the shit and having a drink. Tommy referred to Joel as an Xennial and for some reason, you just lost it. It was the funniest thing you'd heard.

“It’s just another way of calling you old,” you say like it's the most obvious thing in the world. “I like it.”

“Yeah, well,” he huffs, feigning annoyance. “You weren’t thinkin’ I was too old for you last night, tied to the bed and beggin' to be--.”

You grunt, slapping his arm. He’s not wrong. And he knows you’re joking. You like the fact that Joel is so much older than you. It’s not some weird kink thing, even though it seems that way and you happily play along to the roles. But there’s maturity in him, wisdom, and he doesn’t play games with your emotions. He’s straightforward and too old for bullshit. He lets you know what he wants and you love that you don’t have to guess.

Plus, you feel comfortable with him. He’s strong and tough and sometimes a little scary, but he makes you feel safe. More than that, he teaches you how to hold your own; he teaches you how to protect yourself. You appreciate that. He’s delicate with your feelings and serious about your well-being.

“Speaking of,” you say, the tone change in your voice is not lost on the older man. “You’re getting careless in public, you have to be careful or my sister will find out.”

Thickness fills the air around you, leaving Joel with an uneasy feeling in his gut. You can feel the tension raying off of him and practically suffocating you. "Right," he says.

Recalling the night prior, you can’t count the number of times Joel almost slipped up in front of everyone. It was either an intimate look that lasted a few seconds too long, a touch that was borderline indecent, or just his overall demeanor showing that he was way too close to you. Luckily, no one noticed as they were either occupied or intoxicated, but one of these days you won’t be so lucky. And your sister will lose her shit.

“Is it the age thing?” He asks with a frown, his spirit darkening a bit. In all seriousness, his age is a bit of a sore subject between you two. He made sure a thousand and one times that you were okay with the large gap that existed between you two, and you were - you are. But sometimes it still gets to him.

The last thing he wants is for someone, your sister especially, to think he has ill intentions towards you. And he doesn’t want people thinking badly of you, either. Even at the end of the world, the town loves their gossip.

You’re young, but you’re not naive, you’re not stupid or careless, you know what you’re getting yourself into.

“That and you know…” You trail off when you notice he’s lost in thought.

“What?” He asks, dumbly, and you laugh. You stare at him, waiting for his brain to catch up, and when it finally clicks he lets out a small “oh.”

“She wanted you first,” you finish, watching his face fall. He looks uncomfortable, squirming a bit under your gaze. It’s not something he likes remembering, mostly because it brings his tired brain back to the age thing again and leaves him with a sour feeling in his stomach. He’s not a creep. He’s not. Right?

“And I wanted you,” he says softly, shyly almost. He doesn’t have to say much for you to know what’s going on in his gorgeous head. It’s painfully obvious.

“And I wanted you,” you reply. “I know there’s something, deep down in your gut, telling you that this is bad, but I’m telling you to ignore it. I’m an adult, Joel. I’ve been an adult for years.”

“I know that,” he sighs. “It’s just--”

“It’s nothing,” you say firmly. “Look around, love. Look at the world we’re living in. If we find love, if we find comfort, who are we to deny it?”

“I like what you’re sayin’,” he admits with a handsome grin, his hand finding yours, counting your fingers as he presses soft kisses to each one. He brings your palm to his cheek, resting against it and looking at you with such adoration. “You have me wrapped around your finger, you know that?”

You hum, eyes fluttering closed, loving what he’s saying and how he says it. His naked body relaxes against yours as he climbs on top of you. Warm lips find your neck, sending your sensitive body and mind into a spell. You could stay here forever, getting lost within him, making yourself at home in his embrace. God, your sister would be so disappointed for so many reasons.

“Everyone always says I’m just the younger version of her,” you whisper, killing the mood as Joel’s lips falter against your skin. He pulls away, brows furrowed in confusion and a little disappointment. “Sorry,” you squeak.

“Somethin’ on your mind?” He asks with concern.

Sighing, you sit up, Joel grumbling in disappointment as he sits up with you. “I don’t question whether or not I want to be with you,” you tell him with certainty. “But she is the one person who scares me with this. She already thinks I’ve become a different person since coming to Jackson. And I keep going over last night. One of these days, we’re going to slip. And she’s going to kill you. I’ve always been told I’m just the mini version of her. So if she finds out, she’s going to think the worst of you. She’s going to think you’re the worst kind of pervert.”

The rambling is doing your head in, but you can’t stop. Your inside thoughts are out there now and you can’t get them back on their leash. It’s been a while since you’ve panicked like this and you really don’t care for it.

“Because I didn’t want her?” He scoffs, standing from the bed and grabbing his clothes from the floor. He slips his boxers on and then his jeans, feeling awkward being exposed during this kind of conversation. “You’re not a mini version of her,” he insists, sitting back beside you. “You look alike, sure, but that’s where the similarities end, darlin’. I promise.”

It’s nice to hear, and it’s something you want to believe. But his words can’t erase years of everyone you know telling you how alike you and Lexie are. Maybe that’s why you’ve changed so much. It wasn’t the world ending, it was the newfound freedom. Here, you aren’t Lexie’s little sister. Here, you are your own being. And no one knows otherwise.

“Listen,” Joel starts before your mind can spiral again. He grabs your hand, holding it tightly to keep you grounded. “Maybe I’m wrong, maybe I just don’t know Lexie well enough. But your sister, to me, seems like the type who is always tryin’ to impress everyone. I get the feelin’ she has the need to be liked; to fit herself into whatever shape someone asks of her.”

Part of you wants to jump into your sister’s defense and tell Joel she's not like that. But you can’t seem to find your voice. And you’re not sure if you’d be lying or telling the truth.

“But you aren’t like that at all. You don’t give a shit what anyone thinks, and you don’t cater to 'em. You don’t make yourself smaller to make everyone else feel more important. You’re quiet and confident. And I love that about you,” he finishes and you can hardly contain yourself.

As the words leave his lips, you pounce on him, rolling him onto his back while you crawl on top of him. He lets out a little grunt and winces, grabbing onto your hips tighter than you were anticipating.

“Oops,” you laugh. “Did I hurt your old back?”

“Keep talkin’, sweetheart,” he says, gruffly. “I’ll show you how fuckin’ old I am.”

You roll your eyes. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

Joel grits his teeth before asking, “When does your sister get home?”

You shrug. “Not for a couple hours, why?”

He laughs and pushes himself up, quickly flipping your positions. He reaches for the binds tied to your headboard and grins down at you, fire in his eyes. “I just think you need a reminder,” he says. “of what happens when you talk back to me.”

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #i don't remember all my tags #i don't know who still reads this stuff #it's been years i'm sorry lmao

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untaemedqueen · 3 months

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At Your Service

Escort!Jeongguk x CEO!Reader

Genre: Strangers to Lovers!AU, Angst, Fluff, Smut

Chapter 25 (Final).

Series Warnings (Will Be Updated): Angst, Fluff, Cold Heartedness, Emotional Trauma, Healing, Smut, Dark Humor

"Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious. And however difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at.

It matters that you don't just give up," Guk mutters to himself, quoting Stephen Hawking as his fingers fly across the keys of his computer.

As he enters the final letters, he simply sighs. Leaning back in his chair, he picks up his glass of wine. His eyes skim the sixty four chapters he's ardently written over the course of the year and his heart beats erratically knowing that all his work, all his thoughts are now written down for forever.

His fingers comb through his hair, lips parting for the rim of his glass when a gentle cry breaks him out of his reverie.

Jeongguk's eyes flit to the clock on the lower right of his computer and he's up in a flash.

Cracking his knuckles, he exits his office. His mouth opens widely to yawn loudly while his nails itch at his bare chest. His feet pad down the newly carpeted hallway of the mansion and he finally stops at the doorway of the open room down the hallway.

"What's the matter, bud?" he gasps playfully, stepping into the nursery.

His face immediately breaks out into a smile at the sight of his son and when his child does the same, putting two small fingers into his tiny mouth, your husband chuckles.

"C'mere, c'mere," Jeongguk coos, lifting your one year old with ease.

He holds him close, pressing his lips atop his child's head and his eyes flutter shut at the peace he feels.

When you gave birth, when you brought this little man into the world… his whole universe rocked off its axis. His whole perception of reality shifted and warped into something that could only be described as perfection.

"Did you have a nice nap? Should we go find momma?" your husband inquires sweetly, angling his head to look at the baby who buries his face into his neck sleepily.

"Mkay, let's go," Guk croons softly.

The father of your child has appreciated the alone time you've been giving him lately but now that his final philosophy paper is finished, he realizes just how much he's missed you. "What do you think she's doing? Hmm? Maybe she's in her office?"

He continues down the long hallway, the expensive beige carpet muffling his footsteps every inch of the way.

"Ba ba ba ba," his son gurgles aimlessly, laying his heavy head against his shoulder.

"Mhm, I thought the same thing," Guk whispers with a laugh.

Peeking into your office, he's surprised to not see you there. You're usually cramming to get work in on these quiet Fridays.

Raising an eyebrow your husband leans over the second floor balcony to find your new furnished living room without you in it. You decided after a while that you needed to get more child friendly furniture, especially now that your baby boy now knows how to crawl around. All of the artistic furniture had too many sharp edges to keep a kid around.

Guk turns his head when he hears clattering from the walk-in closet and he immediately sets off with a smile at the thought of seeing you.

When he enters the room, he simply blinks at the sight before him.

"What're you doin', baby girl?" he inquires, watching as you pack the diaper bag with intent.

Turning to him with a wide smile, you put your hands on your hips. "Did you finish? Is it done?"

"My thesis? Yeah, I just finished it. Why?" he replies curiously.

"Oh good!" you beam, slinging the diaper bag over your shoulder, "Let's go!"

"Where are we going?!" your husband asks, laughing aloud when you grab his hand and pull him out of the closet.

"We're going to celebrate!" you whisper happily, kissing him softly.

His free hand cups the back of your head gently and he pulls away just far enough to raise a brow.

"Where?" he whispers back conspiratorially.

"It's a surprise! C'mon!" you whine, tugging his shirt.

Your husband looks you over in a flash, mouth dropping open at the sight before him. "You're wearing sneakers, what have you done with my girl?"

"Okay, these are Louboutin sneakers. So I'm still fashionable and… anyway, mind your business and let's go," you retort, booping his nose cutely.

"Your son is in his diaper, can I put some clothes on him before you make us go climb a mountain or something?" he mumbles, heading back towards the nursery.

"I'm just so excited!" you whine, stomping your feet.

"Excited for what?! Explain!" he calls back to you as he enters your son's room.

"No!" you call to him, trudging down the hallway.

When you finally get to the nursery, you watch from the doorway as your husband mumbles to his son aloud. "What's wrong with mommy? Why's she being all weird, huh? What's your little sister doing to this woman?"

Rolling your eyes, you put your hand on your hip as you lean against the doorframe.

"You look good in black, buddy. Just like daddy," the father of your child whispers approvingly.

When he tilts his head to you, a smirk plastered to his face, you can only giggle at the sheer handsomeness of him.

"It might not be a girl, y'know," you breathe, watching him lift your son back up.

"I can dream and besides I'm the luckiest guy in the universe, I'd only get luckier if I have a princess on the way," he coos, closing the distance between you both to kiss your forehead.

When you smile up at him, he snorts softly.

"Okay come on!" you cheer, going to leave the room.

You're fully stopped when your husband curls his arm around your waist and you look up at him with a pout. "What now?!"

"Gimme this, you don't carry heavy things this early in pregnancy," he mumbles, peeling the bag off your shoulder.

"Guk, you're being ridiculous," you sigh, folding your arms.

"Thank you, it's a trait of mine. Now, come on, didn't you say you have a surprise for me?" he beams, slinging the bag over his own shoulder.

Opening your mouth to retort, you stop yourself only to roll your eyes as he kisses your temple.

To be with this man for all this time already, to know that you still have forever to go with him… It's a magical feeling. It's almost a full year since you've given birth, gotten married, bought a summer house on one of the great lakes, and gotten pregnant once again. To be with this man, now sitting beside you eating a protein bar like he's been starved of food his whole life, you do find yourself counting your blessings.

Jeongguk is an amazing husband, an amazing father and quite a wonderful physicist.

He has all this time to be juggling all these things, sometimes you wonder if you're lacking on anything.

He's always so busy these days and he keeps up with everything anyway. It's truly incredible.

Your husband takes your hand over the middle console, intertwining his fingers with yours sweetly. His head lolls back to the rest behind him and he tilts his head to your son in the backseat with a smirk.

"He likes the planets, maybe Seb will be an astronomer," he whispers, lifting your hand to press his lips to the thin skin on the back.

"That'd be impressive," you reply with a giggle, keeping your eyes on the road.

Suddenly, your husband snaps his fingers and you look sharply to your right at the noise.

"I know where we're going! What're you up to, Mrs. Jeon?"

You giggle sweetly, simply raising your shoulders feigning aloofness. "I guess you'll have to see when we get there?"

"Have I told you that I love you today?" he inquires, combing your hair back behind your ear.

"Yeah, like once or twice," you whisper, turning the steering wheel.

"Once or twice?! That's not nearly enough! I love you, sweetheart," he coos, leaning his temple against the headrest.

"I love you too," you breathe sweetly, pulling up to the zoo parking lot.

"I knew it! Oh man, Sebastian is gonna love to see his friends!" Guk chuckles, beaming a great big smile at you.

You thought the zoo would be apt for celebration, especially since this is the first place that your shell began to crack with your now husband.

You remember the fit you went into, you remember how he chased you down with a golf cart… This place is the first place where you began to develop feelings and you smile at the simple thought.

How lucky your life has become since that day…

Leaning over the middle console, your husband drifts his hand across your stomach. He gives you a soft, passionate kiss that blossoms flowers within the deepest recesses of your heart.

When you finally pull away, Guk's coffee irises are alight with happiness and peace. The only thing that makes him look away is your son's excited babbling as he looks out the window.

The warm fatherly smile Guk gives makes you chuckle and he shakes his head sweetly as if he's still astounded by the wonderful choices he's made to get here.

"Let's go enjoy our celebration!" he beams to Sebastian, opening up his door.

As you climb out of the car, your eyes find your friends almost immediately. Your husband has noticed them yet, too consumed by grabbing the carriage and making sure your son is alright.

You give the boys you're now attached to the hip with smiles and a wave.

"How's my nephew?!" Jimin yells, crossing the parking lot to be with you both.

"Oh shit! You scared me! What're you doing here?!" Jeongguk laughs loudly, strapping Seb in before giving Jimin and Taehyung big hugs.

"Y/N told us we're here to celebrate!" Tae beams, leaning over and kissing your cheek as a hello.

Even now sometimes you're astounded by how amazingly close you both have gotten. You can remember how much he didn't like you at first, how jaded he was with you around. Now, everything has changed.

"What do you think?" Tae inquires, spreading his arms wide for you to take in his clothes.

"You look super handsome as always, did Rika send you this?" you inquire, smoothing your hands over his new Chanel shirt.

He nods happily, beaming at you with positively bright energy.

"You look amazing!" you announce, locking the car.

"Ba ba ba ba ba!" Sebastian squeals loudly, lifting his feet with his hands.

"God, my nephew is so cute!" Jimin whines, hooking his arm around Guk's shoulders.

Your husband smirks, looking over at you with sweet eyes. "How'd you know I was gonna finish my thesis today?"

"I know you better than you know yourself," you reply.

"That's true, yeah," your two best friend's chirp at the same time.

With a giggle, you tuck your arm beneath your husband as you all set off.

"Oh man, Seb is excited," Guk whispers with a laugh as your son flails around in his stroller.

"I can't believe you wore sneakers! Where are your elbow length gloves too? Are you okay?" Jimin inquires as you all finally sit down.

"She doesn't like to wear the gloves too often when she's pregnant, it makes her skin itchy for some reason," your husband comments offhandedly, passing you your food.

"YOU'RE PREGNANT?!" both of your friends yelp at the same time with wide eyes.

You look over at Guk with a wry smirk and he freezes in place. "W-Well we weren't telling anyone just yet because it's really early on a-"

"Oh my God! Congratulations! I love you guys! This is amazing!" Taehyung gasps, dropping his utensils to hug you tightly.

"I'm only five weeks so it's still early on!" you reply, hugging him back.

"Still, it's amazing!" Jimin whispers, kissing your cheek.

When you look over at Guk, watching how diligently he takes care of his son, your fist tucks beneath your chin. He's such a loving father, he's so wonderful and perfect… You are so lucky.

"Y'know… first time we came to this zoo I had to chase her down in a fucking golf cart," Jeongguk announces, wiping Sebastian's chin with the bib.

"Seems about right," Chim guffaws, folding his arms.

"I knew immediately from that day on that my life would never be the same. Now here we are married with Seb, another baby on the way, I'm a damn physicist now, you guys are getting married in July… It's all worked out exactly the way it should have."

You smile widely, watching as the doors of the VIP lounge open up. Sebastian has become so fond of the fennec foxes at this zoo, there's one in particular that takes to him so well and you can only laugh when he pushes Guk's hand out of the way to squeal at the sight.

You are so fucking lucky to be here especially with these people. You're so lucky that you got to have your black, hardened heart reform into an actual working one.

Guk kisses your temple as you watch Sebastian crawl around with the foxes and your heart sings at the peace it feels.

There are three things in this world you are absolutely certain of.

Anyone can change.

You can find love in the simplest of situations.

You are the luckiest girl in the world to have ever found your soulmate out of the situation you were first presented with.

#bts #jeongguk #jeon jeongguk #at your service #ays #jeongguk x reader #jeongguk smut

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beauty-and-passion · 2 years

Text

I think I perfectly know what you’re talking about, so let me tell you some trivia.

When someone acts very defensive about something, in Italy we say that they have “la coda di paglia” (which can be translated as “they have a straw tail”). This saying comes from an old tale of a fox, whose tail was cut off by a trap. The animal was so ashamed, that its friends decided to give it a straw tail, so beautiful that anyone could never have suspected it was fake.

But one day a rooster let this secret slip away and once the peasants knew about the straw tail of the fox, they lit fires near the chicken coops, so that the fox could no longer steal their chickens anymore: straw catches fire very easily and so the fox was forced to stay away.

From this story comes the expression “having a straw tail”, which means fearing any kind of criticism for a behavior they are well aware of. If you have a straw tail, if you have bad behavior or did something wrong, you know it. And so, you act defensive to hide it.

Thomas is doing exactly that. He’s getting very defensive over simple questions, he’s making childish excuses in a desperate attempt to show how good he is, but all he’s doing is showing us he knows he’s in the wrong.

So here are the tweets you (probably) wanted me to talk about and yes, I will talk about them both (special thanks to @transfemlogan who posted them on Tumblr first).

Those are both very recent tweets, but let’s start with the first one dated October 2022:

Okay, let’s recap everything Thomas did wrong here.

1) That person was not pressuring nor threatening him. They asked a simple, genuine question and they did it very politely and very calmly. This wasn’t an angry fan. And yet, Thomas went in full passive-aggressive mode, as if that person was insulting him. This is the best example of what “having a straw tail” means.

2) “Keeping people posted” means giving real updates, not a vague “working on the script” written months ago. It means telling people how much has been written, if he’s close to the end or not, how long he thinks it will take to reach the end, what his plans are, even if he’s just working on the actual script or not because he’s doing other stuff. Those are updates.

3) “Updating to the extent that I feel comfortable doing” is just a more convoluted way to say “I do not have any real update, so I am giving you crumbs, because this is all I have”. But he’s hiding it behind the excuse of “I’m taking care of myself”, which could’ve worked years ago, but after three years it’s not so convincing anymore.

4) Pressuring someone to deliver content is not healthy nor productive, but if someone is clearly doing nothing, some pressure makes the work done. As a writer, I learned long ago that, if I want things to get done, I have to do them. I won’t enjoy the whole process and there will be times I don’t really want to do it, but it’s the only way to do stuff. You can’t wait forever for the inspiration to come because, flash news, it won’t magically fall from the sky.

And sure, taking care of yourself is important too, but using your well being as an excuse to always postpone is just laziness.

5) Since Mr. Sanders is thirty-three years old and not five, I think he is old enough to accept someone asking him what is going on with the season finale and not overreact like he did. I could understand if he was a teen, but when you’re 33 you’re old enough to deal with something as simple as a question.

Oh and since I’m here talking about this post and since Mr. Sanders didn’t do it, I would like to formally apologize to the person who wrote that question. You did nothing wrong, dear. Your question was valid and polite and I am sure that another, more mature person would’ve given you the proper reply you deserved.

And if any of you is curious, would you like to know what the real answer to that question was? “The season finale is not here at all, because I am barely working on the script. And I am barely working on the script, because I don’t know how to handle it. And I don’t know how to handle it, because I am not a writer - but I want to write it anyway”. Here’s your answer, you’re welcome.

Believe me, I hope to be proven wrong, but this is what I got from Thomas’ over-the-top reaction. And if any of you think I am too hard on him, then sorry again, but it pisses me off to see a grown-ass man whining like a child because someone just asked him something he doesn’t want to talk about.

And here is the second tweet, dated December 2022:

Not only this is another textbook example of what “having a guilty conscience” means, but Mr. Sanders’ reply is - if possible - even more childish: I work very very hard! See how hard I work? I am right and you are wrong! And If you keep saying these bad things, I will tell mom.

In addition to that, he wasn’t even clever enough to turn the topic away from him. That person said that his supporters got nothing in turn and are more excited than him? He could’ve said that this was offensive towards his supporters, because if they are trusting him it’s not because he’s forcing them to do it, but because they like what he’s doing and want him to create these things he’s passionate about. But nope, he was too butthurt and he clearly knew that person was right, so he overreacted like a child.

This also proves that, sadly, he doesn’t believe his supporters are following him out of trust or because they like everything he’s doing. He’s probably very aware that the reason most people are following him is Sanders Sides - and that puts him in a difficult situation.

Why? Because he’s not able to handle the series. And he's aware of it: he knows he’s taking too long with the script, he knows there are no real updates, he knows he has nothing to give. And yet, this series is his main income: there are people, merch, contracts. He can’t just drop or cancel it.

And so he keeps everything as vague as possible. If everything is vague, people will still trust him, they will think he’s working on the series and patiently wait for the next episode.

This can work with kids. But when kids grow up or teens grow tired, they start to rightfully ask questions. And if you don’t have answers, you end up replying like this - thus involuntarily showing how aware you are of your situation.

And now, let’s take Sanders Sides out for a moment, because this isn’t about the series, but about him.

This behavior is very, very disrespectful. Adults should be an example for younger people, they should be someone the next generation will look at and take inspiration from, to grow into even better adults. We can’t pretend kids are better than us, if we are not the first to show them how to be better.

Thomas isn’t just an adult, but a public figure, so he’s not just an example for his friends or relatives: he’s an example for a lot of people. He should show them what a proper, mature, adult reply is. What he did instead was attacking with a lot of passive-aggressiveness an innocent fan who just asked a question and a more sarcastic one, who just poked him.

Do you know what he could’ve done instead? Not reply at all. Or just grow a pair and reply like an adult. He could’ve thanked the first fan and said that, unfortunately, there are no real updates on Sanders Sides for now, because he’s working on other stuff - and added that he hopes they will like this stuff too. While to the second person, he could’ve said that people are following him for more than just Sanders Sides and that he’s sorry that person thinks he did nothing, because he worked on different things. Was it so hard to do?

This is not a good way to handle criticism. And I hope he will grow up a little: all he did now was showing us how long his straw tail is and how easily it catches fire.

#sanders sides #ask #ts criticism #thomas sanders #I can accept long hiatuses and doing 200 series in the meantime #because apparently admitting you're not able to write a script is too difficult #but acting like a child?#that's not acceptable #especially when people weren't even mean #the second one wasn't mean come on #if that's mean you don't know mean

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girlboybug · 1 year

Text

trash magic

"boy, you wanna hold me down and tell me that you love me?"

or the one where you get a tattoo for joel and he shows you just how much he appreciates it.

what’s playing 🎧 trash magic by lana del rey

pairing : joel miller x reader

word count : 2k

*unedited*

CONTENT WARNINGS : SMUT, joel is sooo super turned on by your tattoo, size kink, overstimulation, mentions of unspecified age gap, unprotected sex, tit-fucking, lots of heavy petting/groping, praise and hints of degrading, joel is a dirty depraved man muahaha

TRIGGER WARNINGS : uhh none come to mind but if there’s something that is triggering plz let me know. otherwise enjoy <3

a/n : hi guys i’m so sorry it took me FOREVER to update, i just wanted to post smth small bc i felt bad abt my lack of presence on here. i wanna say thank u so much for the love and support on my work it means the absolute WORLD to me. life has just been so draining and writing has fallen to the back burner and i HATE it but here, i hope this slightly makes up for it, i promise i have a lot in store!!

it had been just a little over a month. a little over a month without joel was time spent cruelly—longingly. and in all honesty, most people in jackson wondered why you were so distraught over his lack of presence, unable to comprehend why a young, pretty girl spent all her time trailing behind a stone-faced old man. but he was your stone-faced old man. his hard glare, monotone responses and hands that were perpetually stuck in fists, were all aspects you loved about him, despite the fact that they seemed to act as a wall to block everyone out. but what people didn’t realize was that those walls came right back down the second it came to you.

you figured their judgment lied in the point of view that they had of him. they only saw cold joel, unfriendly joel who had zero time for anyone except ellie and, maybe you. but they didn't see the way he was when you were alone. they didn’t see the way his face would drop all its coldness when he'd look at you, his fists following in suit and unraveling into gentle hands that would tighten around your jaw to pull you up for a kiss. instead, all they saw was a hardened old man leading on some girl young enough to be his daughter.

and even if he was, you didn't care. it was hard to care about anything when he'd press his mouth over yours, enveloping you in and cleansing you of everything you've ever worried about the second his tongue pushed past your lips. you replayed the way his scruff felt against your skin, your bare tummy…your inner thighs. you squirmed around in the booth at the tipsy bison, ignoring the comments about how you're going to regret getting the tattoo that you did, how joel is nice and all, but he's the last guy you should be getting a tattoo for.

you didn’t fucking care, the only thing that you did care about was how he would feel about it. and god, you hoped he liked it. you are definitely not one to handle pain all that well, and with the limited supplies cat had after tattooing ellie, you were extra nervous of all that could go wrong. but you missed joel so much, you needed something, anything, that felt like a piece of him was always with you.

the moth sticker on the neck of his guitar always did catch your eye, and when he was gone, you’d cradle his guitar, hold it the way he would and simply stare at the sticker. you imagined him the day he stuck it on, the way he’d look down at it, and maybe even smile to himself. it made your heart just about ache at the image.

you grew antsy to show joel the more you thought about it, but maintained what little patience you had left. you decided to keep it a surprise until you both got home, feeling as though the reveal was something that deserved to be private for you two alone.

—

“i have a surprise for you.” you whispered excitedly, clambering into his lap. he smiled up at you, pushing his glasses into his hair and shutting his book. his eyes fell to your fingers that slowly took their time unbuttoning each little button on the flannel that…suspiciously looks a whole lot like the one that went missing from his side of the closet.

“that so?” he hummed in that low gruff voice of his, a hot feeling stirring in his lower stomach as he watched the flannel begin to part the lower you went.

“mhm. i hope you like it.” you murmured, swallowing hard when you pulled the flannel open. his eyes lingered on yours for a moment before traveling down to the valley of your breasts, gasping when he saw a moth decorating your skin.

“are you out your goddamn mind?” joel exhaled in disbelief, tracing his fingers over the moth splayed across your sternum.

your hands gripped the fabric of your flannel, fingernail rolling over the button with nerves. “are you…are you mad?” you unintentionally whimpered, and he shook his head, sitting up with you in his lap, leaning forward and pulling his glasses back down to look at it better. “no baby no but, i…i coulda given you the sticker i had,” he laughed, unable to peel his eyes off of the tattoo. you rolled your eyes jokingly but in the back of your mind, fear was starting to settle in.

did he hate it?

“do you like it?” you asked quietly, praying he said yes. “oh, baby i love it,” he uttered heavily, bringing his stare from your chest up to your face. he pulled you by your chin, smile still on his lips while he kissed you. you cupped his face, thumbs circling around the stubble on his jaw, a giddy feeling beginning to bubble in your tummy.

“did it hurt?” he questioned with his lips still close to yours. you nodded, pecking him. “yeah. but i just thought of you the whole time,” you admitted truthfully, smiling fondly down at him. he shook his head, kissing you again. he made a sound of sympathy, running his thumb along your bottom lip. he stared at your chest before something clicked in him, making him flip you on your back.

he wasn’t phased by the surprised yelp that left you, instead he was focused on stopping your hands from trying to hide your bare chest with the flannel. “unh unh don’t cover up now, too pretty to be doin that,” he chastised lowly, devouring you with his eyes. you grew hot under him as he continued speaking. “looks so good on you…real good, wish i was there with ya while you got it done baby,” he groaned, hands groping your breasts, thumbs straying to caress the wings of the moth.

you whined hushedly, arching your back into his touch. “i do too but you were gone,” you formed something like a pout, pushing an upset finger into his chest. he tsked, holding your accusatory hand to kiss your palm. “i know, i know, already said m’sorry baby,” he murmured, taking advantage of the way you softened at his actions. he trailed kisses down your jaw, murmuring more apologies for his absences. his words were enough, and all you could do was just lean into him, taking every touch and kiss he gave you happily.

“can’t believe you did this,” he breathed out, pressing his growing bulge to your clothed core. you whined, sitting up on your elbows. your ankles lock around him eyeing him from under your eyelashes. “i just wanted to feel like you were always with me, i missed you so much joel,”

he breathed in sharply at your confessions, his cock twitching and heart racing. “oh baby,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead lovingly. “missed you too. thought about you all the time.” his hand rubbed your outer thigh making its way between your legs. “thought abt this,” he exhaled, feeling you buck down into his palm with a sweet little moan from your lips.

“missed it s’goddamn much, missed you the most though,” he muttered, the familiar twange in his voice sparking a smile across your face. he pushed your panties to the side, gathering your slick with the pads of his fingers, his cockhead weeping with precum when it registered just how wet you were with such small touches.

he pushed his middle finger in and wasted no time in fucking you with his digit just the way you liked. you cried out, gripping his wrist while he fucked into your little cunt with his finger, groaning to himself at how tight you felt.

he leaned down, kissing all over the tattoo, licking and nipping at your breasts while you tangled your fingers in his hair.

“joel—fuck, just, just—please fuck me,” you breathed out, the patience you’d been struggling to keep had finally ran out, and you couldn’t wait anymore, you needed to have him the way you’ve been craving all this time. “shit—alright, need it tha’ bad huh,” he grunted, pulling himself from out his boxers.

he held your waist with both large hands of his, pushing inside you, burying his face in your chest and groaning loudly at the way you grip him. you cried out, nails digging into his wide back, teeth grazing his shoulder while you tried to catch your breath.

the stretch burned and tingled, rippling through your skin and nerves in a way you hadn’t felt in so long. he pushed in and out of you slowly and gently, shaky little breaths that sounded obscene, fanned out over your lips from his parted mouth, and you breathed them all in, pulling him in closer.

his forehead rested on yours, kissing you while his hips grounded down into yours, taking his time to appreciate how fucking good you felt all around him. utterances of f-fuck, baby poured into your mouth from his, casting a warm sensation to spread across your cheeks.

he rocked into you, somehow going deeper with every thrust. knowing that he was filling you to the very brim sent him into a mindless delirium, and in return fastening the way he fucked you. gentleness morphed into rushed, desperation to feel you, every single inch and crevice and to make up for lost time.

you took him in, tightening your calves around his lower back, tugging at the back of his hair while his tongue lapped at your tits and sternum, losing his mind at the fact that you’ve marked yourself as his with this moth. your bold declaration of love and dedication to him turned him on in ways he couldn’t even begin to fathom and the more he thought about it, the harder his hips crashed down into yours.

“missed me so much you had to get something that reminded you of me tattooed on ya’,” he grunted, grabbing one of your legs and haphazardly throwing it over his shoulder, shuffling even closer to fuck you harder. you couldn’t even reply correctly, all you could do was tearfully babble, nodding stupidly.

“love you so much joel,” you hiccuped, entire body being nearly fucked into the headboard, tits bouncing mesmerizingly with each thrust joel sends into you.

“say it again,” he groaned, cock twitching at your open admissions. “i love you, love you love you so much,” you cried, leg beginning to tremble on top of his shoulder.

“‘love you too baby, love you so goddamn much,” he breathed out in a rasp, shuddering a heavy sigh when you tighten and pulse all around his cock.

he loved the way his hands just engulfed you, his hand almost covering the entirety of one of your breasts, palming your soft flesh. you were so easy to squeeze, to pick up and hold and fuck, and joel took full advantage of his strength and how palpable for him you were.

with ease he pulled you up along with him, still impaled on his fat cock, feeling a familiar cockiness spread in his chest when you whimpered at the feeling of him so far inside of you.

he rested on his haunches, keeping you upright with his hands gripping your hips tight, face falling into your chest once more, his beard tucking the valley of your breasts.

your bodies flowed into each other’s fluidly, hips rolling and meeting each and every thrust like clockwork, his hips coming up only to be met with yours crashing down into his. it was addicting, you couldn’t speak, couldn’t think, could barely even remember your own name, the only thing you could manage was fucking yourself onto joel.

“so deep,” you cried out through a series of whines and he laughed, bringing a big hand to your tummy, rubbing over where his cock bulged. you keened, lips trembling while you squeezed his shoulders. “i know baby i know,” he crooned, plastering an open mouth kiss onto you.

he slid a hand between your wet grinding bodies to rub circles over your soaked little clit, chuckling to himself when you choked on a sob at the contact. you shook like a leaf in his arms, his sweet little angel so close, he felt it in the way your cunt gripped his cock, and it filled him with pride knowing he was the only one who could unravel you like this.

“know you needa cum baby—you gonna ask me?” he growled in your mouth, biting your bottom lip testingly. you whimpered, arching your chest into his, a little pathetic nod following your actions. “s-sorry joel, please please let me cum, feels so good i-i dunno if i can hold it,” you whimpered, trying to fuck yourself on his cock.

the swirls from his fingers over your clit persisted and it made you vibrate in his hold, your impending orgasm making you lose what little control you had over your own body.

“c’mon baby give it to me, cum all over it,” he grunted gruffly, and you shook wildly, squeezing your eyes shut and collapsing in his arms while your orgasm reverberated all throughout your limbs

“joel—oh my—fuck!” you sobbed, bouncing on his cock while you rode out your orgasm, feeling milked dry as he rubbed your clit into over sensitivity.

“good baby, so fuckin’ good,” he drawled out lowly, patting your poor abused clit with his long fingers. “wanna do somethin’ for me?” he panted and you nodded eagerly.

“lie back for me,” he ordered and you obeyed, laying back down onto the pillows beneath you. he begrudgingly pulled out of your tight cunt, shushing you when you whimpered at the loss of him inside you.

he straddled you, feeling his cock ache in his rough palm when you stared up at him, resting on your elbows, cute tits perked and barely concealed from his flannel.

he shoved the material away from your flesh, jerking himself off before he put it between your tits. “push ‘em together f’me—ahh shit, y-yeah just like that—oh shit baby, keep lookin at me like that—“ he growled under his breath, fucking your tits with hard pistons from his hips.

“gonna cum, gonna cum on these cute fuckin’ tits baby,” he groaned, throwing his head back while you egged him on, whimpering and squeezing your thighs together at how he used your chest to cum, it was so hot seeing him fall apart on top of you, looking glorious and gorgeous even in such dirty circumstances.

you wrapped your lips around his leaking cockhead, the corners of your mouth peeking upwards with smugness at the way he gasped and shivered at your actions. “shit,” he groaned, his own orgasm taking over his body.

he came in your mouth, your tits still engulfing his shaft. he twitched on your tongue, whimpering to himself at the way you sucked on his tip. he pulled himself away from your plump lips, starting to soften from how sensitive he was.

he laid beside you, pulling you into his arms once more, feeling content and right with the world when you nestled into your rightful place on his chest.

“still in awe over you.” he murmured, running his fingertips up and down your arm. “you’ll get used to the tattoo soon,” you giggled and he shook his head. “meant you…you as a whole baby.” he whispered and you looked up at him, pupils dilating into hearts. “joel,” you uttered, leaning up to kiss him. “i love you,” you mumbled sleepily. he smiled, kissing your clammy forehead. “i love you too baby.”

#joel miller x reader #the last of us smut #joel miller smut #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #game joel miller #the last of us hbo #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal joel miller #pedro pascal #ellie williams tlou

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mediocre-shark-tales · 8 months

Text

Fated by the Stars (5)

Straykids ot8 x Reader

Warnings - Mentions of Abuse, Mentions of Wounds/Injuries Traumatic Past, Violence, and Mentions of Non-consensual Molesting

Summary - The boys have to go back to work, and you need to learn how to live with only a few boys around at a time. So you decide to take up and learn some hobbies with everything the boys have been slowly purchasing you.

Masterlist

It had been awhile since that day you ran into the pack alpha's sister, ever since you have been able to slowly move on from the past. Spending time with your mates as much as you can, with everyday you grow fonder and more confident. They have shown you nothing but love and made sure you never doubt yourself for even a second.

But everything good must come to an end, and today was that day. The boys had warned you in advance that soon they would have to return to work. It took a bit before you understood what they meant. Their jobs were similar to what you did with your ex pack however they actually enjoyed what they did and got paid for it. They had sort of expected a more emotional reaction, but you knew somewhere deep down that if they could they would stay home with you forever in a cuddle puddle.

I had woken up early this morning, barely before the sunrise would begin to fill my newly renovated room with its pure golden glow. I quickly began to get changed for the day, however when I thought about the fact that a majority of the boys would be gone for most of the day, another thought came to me. I snuck quietly out of my room and looked around to see if anyone was awake. I could smell the beginnings of a delicious breakfast so I began to sneak downstairs.

I had made it all the way to the entrance of the kitchen, looking inside I saw Minho and Felix. I silently giggled as I slid into the kitchen and latched onto Minho. Giving him a morning snuggly back hug.

Minho chuckled and rubbed my hands on his stomach before returning to making breakfast. "Is everyone else still asleep Minnie?" He looked down at me. "Yup, I think everyone will be up soon since most of us have to leave soon." I nodded. "Can I go steal some clothes?" Minho stopped what he was doing for a moment and turned around to me. He cupped my face and squished it a bit. "Does our little 'mega want to smell her pack all day still." I nodded and told him. "Just want to smell my mates while they are out for work." Minho then let me go and I ran off to his room. Today only Jeongin and Felix could stay behind. I was told by all of them what their jobs were so I would know who to expect home more often than the others.

Jeongin was the CEO of company that built Omegagram, They had also created AlphaChat and BetaBook. All of these were apps created and updated to perfectly match the social media needs of a specific second gender. Because of their recent success with Omegagram, the company had funded a new project that was also doing well. Turns out Omega Heaven was also owned by him.

Felix was the owner of a world wide bakery, this bakery had the ability to become a food factory. Except Felix loved the original small hometown bakery idea, thus with every new branch he built, each one would be made to freshly bake its good. He also kept the prices lower even when demand rose.

These two got the most time off as their jobs required less from them in person and they could simply work from home most days.

The others had more high demand jobs, Chan was the CEO of an entertainment company. His jobs consisted of making sure that his idols were happy. Whatever was needed he would be able to do. If he found that a manager was miss treating them, he would easily replace the manager. If an Idol acted up he would give them chances until they ran out. However he was best when it came to helping them perfect and produce music. Hyunjin was an assistant CEO to Chan, his job fell more into the dancing side of idols, and he also helped the acting side of the entertainment company.

Minho and Jisung were also coworkers. Minho was the CEO of a fashion company while Jisung was one of the more famous Beta Fashion designers. Jisung was amazing at paying attention to feed back from customers, and then changing things to help make his brand more comfortable amongst the second genders. He was one of few that tackled clothing lines for all second genders. Minho's job however was to keep the company running, he looks care of financial managing and such. I kinda tuned out the rest seeing as it was a lot of math-y sounding stuff.

Finally Changbin and Seungmin were also Ceo's. Changbin was the CEO of a Security Company that also dabbled in a worldwide gym franchise. Seungmin was the assistant CEO under him. They had split the job, Changbin took care of the gym franchise and helped out from time to time when asked by seungmin. Seungmin took care of the Security company, he only asked for help when jobs came in too often to keep up with. They offered security to anyone in the public, however when huge celebrity events went on they would get multiple celebrities asking for a few security workers at the sametime. That's when Changbin would come help out with getting the logistics taken care of.

I currently had snatched a t-shirt from Minho. Now I was sneaking into Hyunjins room, opening his drawer I found a pair of tall socks. Snatching those I snuck back out to put them on. Going into Jisungs room, I stole a pair of boxers without being detected. From Seungmin, I successfully snatched a pair of shorts. Finally had grabbed a jacket from Changbin. Last but not least, I needed something from Chan.

Slowly opening the door, I saw Chan on his side playing on his phone. I giggled internally as he hadn't noticed my scent or heard me yet. I crept over slowly, till I was next to the bed. Seconds later I was jumping onto the bed, specifically onto Chan. He huffed as I landed on him. I giggled as he smiled down at me. "Hey there princess. Good morning." I smiled back up at him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Good Morning Channie." Then I tumbled off of him and began to look around for what I came in here for.

Chan sits up and watches me for a bit. "What are you looking for princess?" Seconds later I had found it. I picked up and smelled this blanket. It was just a plain grey blanket, I had seen Chan use it often and new it would be perfect to use today. "Just this Channie, need to make sure I can still smell my pack while they aren't around."

Chan cooed at me, he got up and walked over to pick me up. "such a good 'mega for us. We will make sure to come back as quickly as we can. Then how about we fall asleep to a movie of your choice down in the pack room?" I nodded. "Sounds great Channie!"

Together we walked back down to the kitchen where the rest of the pack waiting for us. I saw everyone begin to smile, slowly they realized I had stolen a few clothing items and was currently wearing them. "I wondered why I could smell a faint scent of vanilla when I woke up." Jisung said as he tickled my sides when I passed him. I giggled and tried my best to escape his grasp.

Once I did, I sat down in my personal seat, quickly eating up my breakfast. I had forgotten a gift for them upstairs. The other day, Seungmin had gifted me some art and crafts supplies. Amongst the supplies was some elastic string and beads. Yesterday I spent most of it making my boys bracelets. I heard the boys call after me when I ran upstairs, but I only had one thing on my mind.

I threw open my arts and crafts drawer, grabbing the box I had put them in. I opened it to make sure they were all still there, once I had confirmed it, I then ran back down stairs.

There stood all the boys waiting for me, 6 of them ready to leave. "You weren't gonna let us leave without hugs and kisses goodbye right?" I smiled. "Nope, but I had to go get my surprise!" The boys all gave me curious or astonished looks. So I walked up to Chan first, pulling out a grey bead bracelet, each bracelet had a red heart bead surrounded by the color I saw them in the most often. So Chan got a grey with glittery black bead bracelet. Next was Hyunjin, his bracelet was orange beads, some were plain beads and some looked more like carved gemstone.

Next to hyunjin stood changbin, I gave him a pink beaded bracelet, his was mainly plain pink beads as they were the only pink beads I had. I gave Seungmin a white sparkly bead bracelet. Minho's bracelet was a dark green color, mostly gem shaped beads. Next I gave Jisung a blue bracelet, his was different as I had many different style beads in a similar blue shade. Finally, Felix got a Yellow bracelet with little sun shaped beads and Jeongin got a brown sparkly bracelet.

"Everyone has a different but similar bracelet, the heart bead is to remind you that I-" I blushed and looked away. "What is it sweetie?" Felix placed his hand on my shoulder. I mumbled in responding, however no one seemed to hear me as Felix placed his hand on my cheek making me look at him. "You're gonna need to speak up sweet thing." So my immediate response was to speak very quickly hoping they wouldn't react too much to my words. "The heart is to remind you that I love you, especially when you are stressed out at work. I spent a lot of time choosing the colors and beads for you bracelet, I wanted the bracelets to match how I see you. The color is the color I match to you the most. So yeah." I could feel my face heat up even more, I probably looked like a bright red tomato now as they stood there in silence. Glancing at their faces, all I saw was looks of awe and shock.

This gave me a rush of anxiety as I blabbered out again. "I-I'm sorry if you weren't ready to say that then I won't say-" I was cut off by lips on mine. Hyunjin had launched himself over and crashed his lips against mine before pulling back. "No no no, Honey, we were just in shock that you were so comfortable to tell us you loved us so soon. We love you just as much if not more, we are so happy to be able to tell you that now and show you we love you in so many more ways." Staring into his eyes, I could tell that there was nothing but honesty in his words. I glanced at the other pack mates, who all gave me smiles and nods in agreement with Hyunjins words.

I hugged Hyunjin tight. "Okay, then I really love you guys and I can't wait for you all to come back home. I hope we can have a movie and cuddle night together." Pulling back from hyunjin, I ran around to give everyone else a hug as I continued. "So go to work and earn as much as you can so we can keep living happily together!" I then stood by the door. This action earned another set of confused glances from my mates. I smiled and they slowly began to get ready to leave. The first one to stand infant of the open door was Seungmin. I grabbed his hand and asked him to bend down. As soon as he did I gave him a quick peck on the lips, "I love you, see you soon Seungie!" He smiled and walked out the door after returning with a similar I love you in return.

I went through a similar action with every mate that walked past me to head to work. Each one gave me a smile and 'I love you too' before they left.

Once the door shut, I turned around to see Jeongin and Felix smiling at me. "Shall we spend the day cuddling together little one?" Felix asked while Jeongin opened his arms to me. I Nodded running into Jeogin's arms.

Masterlist

#stray kids #seo changbin #kim seungmin #tragic #childhood trauma #traumatic past #alpha beta omega #omegaverse #lee felix #han jisung #hwang hyunjin #yang jeongin #lee minho #bang chan

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pbrbateson · 1 month

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Random life update 🤍

I think I am going to take a break from therapy for awhile. I've been going for over 3 years now. It is okay. I never feel good about it but I never feel bad about it either. At the point in my recovery, I am low risk and while I know a crisis will occur before long, it seems like I am just talking to the air. Could I dig deeper? Could I labor my emotions? Sure, I just feel I am good for lack of a better word.

Health-wise - I'm the best I've been in recent memory. I eat what I want but not too much of it. I drink maybe once a week and make efforts to reduce my consumption of animal products and saturated fat thanks to some less than stellar cholesterol numbers (I blame the chocolate).

I run three times a week/10 miles a week and lift for no less than hour per week, more if I can. My sleep in on a set schedule even on weekends; minus the few days before my period when I can't seem to close my eyes until 4am because every little sound sets off an alarm in my brain.

I want to write more - I miss it. Even if its trash journaling online - it feels good to type out something more than a professional email or Slack message. This goal is extremely attainable because the word "more" is subjective so anything above once every few months is "more".

Austin finally started going to therapy, I've been waiting for this for the past 3 years but never asked it of him. I knew he had to make the choice for himself -- he is getting on some meds that we hope will help his anxiety. I have my doubts but I also have hope because why the hell not.

He wants to move again because we can't stand our garbage neighbors. A family of 4: the mom, the daughter, the daughter's live-in boyfriend, and a teenage son (of the mom). The boyfriend owns a black GMC SUV with dirt-bike racing stickers displayed above the front windshield and the letters "D + H" soaped on the back. The vehicle barely runs and when it does it is loud and obnoxious. There are three dogs living in the house, two Chows and an mutt that looks like William H. Macy. They rarely leave the house except to get late night fast or work on said junk SUV. The conversation between members consists mostly of the word "fuck" and drama similar to what you might see on mid-day television courtroom television.

To be fair, I mostly don't mind. I've had dubious neighbors before like the drug dealer that lived below me and threatened his girlfriend so loudly one night, I called the cops. It's all part of living in the world in my book. Can't change it so just let it be.

I really want to find a home someday. Columbus is my home, yes. But I've always got my mind halfway somewhere else. I've felt it forever, probably since I moved here- it was just temporary. It wasn't supposed to be 15 years. I came for a job, stayed for relationships and a job, and continue to stay because of similar items.

Home right now is where the cat is and the cat lives in Columbus.

I do love how green it is here right now. Driving along 315 last night, I thought about how all the leaves would be gone in just a few months, and the sky would be the grey-grey blue that only exists from November - March in Ohio. I feel grateful to live somewhere I feel safe and know better than any other place on the planet. I never remained planted in one place for very long growing up, I remember. Staying put allows for roots, but someday the roots can overgrow the pot, and it is time to to transplant somewhere new.

#life #ohio #home

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simslegacy5083 · 2 months

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Not So Berry (Straud Descendants) Gen 9

Today's (8/12/2024) Episode: Luigi's Big Idea

One evening shortly following “the mouse incident” Luigi and Noemi were working together at the dining table while Skye tried some banana slices.

When his wife’s smile as she told him about the mayor of Strangerville’s praise for their latest side job turned wistful and she sighed unhappily, Luigi paused his own modding work. “What’s wrong, honey?”

“Why is programming so fun but trying to identify new talent so difficult!?” she lamented “I’ve done everything I can think of to raise my charisma skill and yet I still have such a hard time in client meetings! My meds make me feel awful and barely seem to help. I need a win.”

“Right now,” he replied, “so do I. Everyone is still dragging my name through the mud after the last game, and honestly, I don’t know how much longer I can keep playing at this level. I’ve been going at it daily since I can remember, and my body is starting to get tired of it.”

He massaged his right wrist gently, wincing: “You know that’s the reason I had to use my own mouse that night.”

Noemi rolled her eyes at how her fiancée had unwittingly turned the conversation back to himself, as usual. “Well,” she finally said “you know you have my support whatever you decide to do. In the meantime, if you have any bright ideas for “the next big thing” in tech, let me know.”

Luigi knew she’d been joking, but as he glanced back down at his computer, which still displayed his latest, half finished, Sims Forever mod update, he realized he might have something to offer her. “Actually” he said, “there IS a project I’ve always thought it would be fun to develop someday”.

Now he had her interest. “What is it? I may suck at charming prospective clients and investors, but I definitely know an actionable tech idea when I hear one. Just don’t get mad at me if I have to shoot it down. If I can’t be brutally honest with my own spouse in my own house, when can I be?”

“When aren’t you!?” he said with a laugh “its one of the things I’ve always loved about you. Let’s get Skye to bed and I’ll tell you all about it”.

A few minutes later Noemi joined Luigi on the couch after the, as always, fussy Skye finally drifted off. “That mobile you installed is a lifesaver!”

Luigi, who’d been icing his hand, sat the spent pack down on the coffee table and turned to face his fiancée “You’re welcome” he grinned “Now, about that big idea I had. Sims Forever is a unique game. There’s nothing else quite like it on the market. I’ve loved it my whole life, but I also started modding because I wanted to enrich the storytelling aspect and fix some of the many bugs.”

He continued “What the game needs is competition. I’d love to develop my own life simulation game. Incorporate the good, eliminate the bad, and add gameplay that only exists in Sims Forever with mods. Do you think your bosses would be interested in something like that?”

Luigi saw the answer to his question in Noemi’s eyes, which were sparkling with delight “You know more about that specific genre than I do, but I think any game as popular as Sims Forever could use a little competition. It would certainly be a big undertaking, though! Even with me assisting you on the programming, we’d definitely need to recruit more talent.”

She continued “Having your name attached to the project will help garner interest. You were known in the Sims Forever modding community even before you became well known as a pro gamer. This seems like exactly the kind of thing I could bring to my bosses, if you’re serious about this and willing to write up a solid business proposal.”

Ever since they’d started talking Luigi had felt his excitement growing. “Honestly until tonight I didn’t realize how serious I was, but yes, I want to do this. I’ll have that business proposal on your desk soon boss”.

Noemi smiled wickedly as she stood up. “It sounds like you’re a very good boy who deserves a reward for all his hard work… don’t you think?”

Luigi obediently followed his wife to the bedroom, grinning broadly when she pulled their “costume trunk” out of the closet. They got into character and Noemi beckoned him close “You ready to party?” he nodded furiously replying “Absolutely. I’m all yours.”

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

#sims 4 challenge #sims 4 #sims 4 legacy #sims 4 nsb #sims4 #sims4nsbstraud #sims 4 not so berry #sims 4 let's play #sims 4 gameplay #sims 4 lets play

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hayanwulf · 3 months

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WIP updates - IronStrange week

Heyyy mortals, sorry for the recent radio silence on here. I've been busy with real life, while also trying to push through my writers block to get stuff done for ironstrange week.

I will be answering all of those prompts waiting in my ask box, just.. not yet. I need to dedicate myself to IS week for now, if I want to get them done in time. But rest assured, I have not forgotten about all of you who've been sending me prompts in ask! I will get around to each one of you!

Coming back to the IS week, I have something planned for every day, though how much I'll be able to manage by the deadline is yet to be seen. I will, however, try my best to post all of them in their respective days.

Here's a sneak peek to some almost-completed works for IronStrange week!

---

Day 1 - Good/Evil

“No one invited me to the party? That’s rude.”

The zealots holding Stephen in place as well as their little puppet master — the guy in ugly green robes with a staff — all whipped their head around to Tony hovering in the air, and stared at him with varying degrees of gobsmacked expressions.

He smirked inside his helmet. He knew what they were thinking; how did Iron Man get inside the Mirror Dimension?

Short answer, magic does follow science. Long answer, you-have-kidnapped-my-wizard-and-now-you’ll-pay-for-it.

Of course, the second part was something no one would ever know. Iron Man was a villain, the greatest threat to Earth, the one who destroyed things and killed high-profile people, wielding more than enough firepower for world domination if he wanted. Stephen Strange, on the other hand, was Sorcerer Supreme, Earth’s greatest defender against mystical threats, a doctor. He was a preserver of life.

They had completely opposing worldviews.

By all accounts, they were rivals. Adversaries.

---

Day 3 - Love/Hatred

The aged eucalyptus tree still bore the carving on its bark, as concise as the day it had been created. The shape of a strange eye, decorated with four curved lines inside it. Like a rune that, perhaps, meant something in the world of the witches.

Stephen’s home was so close.

Tony swallowed around the tightness of his throat, starting a trek towards the path he knew would lead there.

This was possibly the worst idea ever in the history of all the worst ideas Tony has ever had. He shouldn’t be here. He didn’t even know how Stephen would react to him being here.

Too soon, he had arrived at a small clearing in the woods. A pond, next to which stood a warm, homey looking hut.

His steps halted.

This was bad. He should turn back. Maybe run after that wagon before it was completely out of his reach forever. He should go back to his town, figure something out there. He didn’t even know if Stephen would welcome him. God, what was he thinking? What if Stephen tried to hurt him—

No.. no. Stephen wouldn’t. He wasn’t that kind of a person. Tony knew he wouldn’t hurt him.

Or at least.. at least Tony liked to imagine that he wouldn’t.

---

Day 4 - Dark/Light

CW: Child abuse (okay i guess there isn't any in the excerpt itself)

He tried to look down at his hands, and could just barely make out their outline.

He wrapped the arms around himself, as if hugging. The arms felt just a little warm where they clung to his chest.

He hugged himself tighter, leaned his side against the door, and cried, letting himself feel the warmth trapping under his arms. This way, at least he could pretend that he wasn’t so alone.

It had only been a few minutes, when suddenly there was a loud crashing noise from somewhere in the basement. Anthony flinched.

He was not alone.

There were flickers of iridescent green in the air fading, and then was a grunting noise followed by shuffling of more objects kept in the basement. Anthony looked around where he had just seen green in the air, desperately trying to spot who — or what — was in here with him, but it was dark, so dark. His heart raced, feeling an entirely different kind of helplessness now.

He was not alone, and at that moment, that felt more terrifying than being alone.

---

Day 7 - Elegant/Grotesque

Soulmarks are the window to your soulmate’s soul, people say.

They represent a person in their rawest, truest form. As such, it is quite common for soulmarks to be an aminal, or a hybrid of many different animals, representing the person’s character at core. A lion’s bravery, a fox’s cunning, a dolphin’s intelligence, an eagle’s free spirit, and so on.

Tony’s soulmark is rather unique.

Right over his heart, sits a graceful little butterfly with large blue wings. It has pattens of gold more elegant and intricate than any embroidery he will ever see. A butterfly cannot be said to have a personality, so it doesn’t tell Tony anything about his soulmate. It does speak of beauty, though, and that Tony decides to believe.

Stephen’s soulmark is unique, in more ways than one.

The most common places to hold soulmarks are the chest, back, and neck regions. Sometimes people may have them at their hip, around their belly button. Even rarer, they might have them on one or both of the bicep muscles, or inner thighs. There is no way to determine what makes the marks appear symmetrically on both limbs for certain people, whereas only on one limb for certain others.

Stephen’s soulmark is on his hands, both of them. Specifically, the back of his palms.

And the patterns etched there are asymmetrical.

But the most bizarre fact is that, his soulmark is comprised entirely of floral designs.

#writing #wip #ironstrange #stephen strange #tony stark #fic #mcu fanfiction #excerpts

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b00kwyrm7 · 2 months

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In lieu of an Ao3 comment

(since I don't have an account yet hhhhh) I'm doing a tumblr review of an incomplete fic from a series I adore very much! Why? Partly in honour of the fact that the adrenaline rush I got when I saw the update was so intense it shocked me into staying awake and attentive through my entire chemistry class 🙏🙏 also this has become my comfort series lately. It was so difficult to keep a straight face, the angst-lover in me was so gleeful.

Now, onward!

Fandom: FFXIV, spoilers for Shadowbringers

Authors: the amazing @azems-familiar and @sunderedazem

HE CUT HIMSELF OFF FROM THE LIFESTREAM?? Emet-Selch were you just planning to float in the Rift forever-

Hhh after everything he still trusts the Exarch and the Warriors TOT

:OOOOO Elidibus!!

Literally had to put a screenshot cause. I love this so much. Sliding this scene into the bookshelf in my soul. No words only cry. There's just something about Elidibus being so gentle, and his last traces of memory.

Of course he regrets ascending Fandaniel because of his opinions on THEATRE you fussy old man. This made me giggle though

URGH FANDANIEL WHY

Oh...the first place he thinks of to get help from is the tower...without even thinking... TOT

(remembers AN at the start saying this takes place after 5.3) (reads Emet-Selch going up the stairs) OH. OHHH. YESS

This scene is just. So well-written. I almost started kicking my legs with delight in class. *slots this scene into my bookshelf*

The way he's slowly dying but his grief just numbs out everything else until it's sundown before he begins to move again

A KISS!! A PROMISE!! WAUGH

A walk in the rain with a stab wound this poor man

Elidibus had the right idea (let👏him👏rest) but sadly plot needs must be fueled

;-;

Chapter 2!!

(and in comes the authors with the steel chair) TATTOO!!! YES!!!

Omg Corrain knows about Emet-Selch's Darkness-aligned aether 👀 it's so cool how he's modifying his healing magic for it

I suspect Emet-Selch is barely processing what he's seeing at this point (understandably)

TOT G'raha supports him and he just lets go (he's safe, he's among his trusted, his loves ;-;)

Just the way small intimacies are written in this series just makes me want to incorporate it into my own style so badly

Also Alphinaud and Alisaie being here in the background is such a nice touch

Lelesu is such a steady rock in this storm 🙏🙏🙏 so quick on the uptake too

The image of G'raha crying quietly next to the two ppl he loves once everything is settled is so bittersweet

Lelesuuuu

Hmm G'raha in-game is an all-rounder, but in this AU once his connection to the Tower has been broken, what magics can he do now? Seems like healing is not in the repertoire anymore

PROMISE!!!

The tea. The freaking plays from Voeburt *puts head in hands* HHHHHHHHHH

'delicate art of Ascian wrangling' well said well said

Before this series I never read a fic with two WoLs, but because Corrain and Lelesu have been written so well I actually think it's so much more fitting. Just the way their dynamic works and how it affects their relationship between themselves, with the ✨horrors✨ and with the rest of the Scions? I know FFXIV has the WoL be so solitary (even with the Scions) but just the thought of someone else who truly knows what you've been through on an equal level is so comforting tbh

If you've gotten to the end of this thanks so much holy crap. Idk if I'll do many more of these but if you're a fellow player 🫵 pls read the fic!! And the series!! Its all so wonderful I can't say enough about it XD

#ffxiv #writing #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #fic rec #fic review #ao3 #fanfic #fanfiction #g'raha tia #emet selch #emet-selch #my rambles

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retropobor · 3 months

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I feel strongly as if I should make some original content on this blog, but I don't have any as of late, so I'm just gonna throw my thoughts out here relating to the blog (consider this a weather update)

to get things out of the way, I have decided to work on a little pixel art project which should be out sooner or later. And by little I mean its canvas is the exact same size as my previous largest single piece pixel art project: the mantis dragon

and this thing is ancient (for those of you who want a good dating system for my art, the lack of outlines means that this thing's pretty damn old, this one specifically dating back to a little over a year ago, although I just added the signature so it can't get stolen)

That aside the other main topic I wanted to touch on is the little side of the deltaverse I kinda found myself in. It feels like a lot of stuff is going on, but who am I to say. One big shot I know barely anything about took a break indefinitely then returned, only for another big shot, and good friend of mine @mrchaosman to also take a break (I cannot stress enough I wish you the best and care for you, mate). There was a massive tournament put on by @grimmdeltarune (RIP Mie, neither gone nor forgotten [I was happy to participate in it nonetheless]) and probably so many other things that went under my radar. It's just all interesting to watch. I've always been fascinated by ecosystems, either natural or human, but that's a separate tangent. Right now I feel like I exist on some sort of outer rim of the system, but I want to be more central. Maybe not Winterer, l0cal_hooligan or whatever other big shot you want to name central/famous, but just more of a somebody than I am right now. Issues are

1: I only have parallels to bring to the table, and considering I barely can even produce content (better yet well thought out content) for it, Idk if that's enough

2: I don't know how much attention I can (or really want to) give Deltarune. The game means a lot to me, don't get me wrong, but when you have the steam library of alexandria, a full on dnd campaign, and

it kinda cuts down on the amount of attention you can give to deltarune

3: I don't know how. It's been forever since I've actually made a friend, and like half the friends I currently have are born out of coincidence (granted half my friend group is my dnd group, and how I got them is an entire story and a half, but my point still stands even when not counting my dnd group), and I don't know how to start a conversation. If I can get into a conversation, I'm flawless, but starting one is a whole different topic.

Last but not least the datapack. I still want to work on it, but working on the next "session" (I feel as though adventure would better fit it due to its sheer size) for my dnd campaign has taken up just about all my time. Once I finish up with it, I should have plenty of free time to do some more work. No clue what I'll make but I know I want to make something.

Anyways yeah, those are some of my disjointed thoughts piled into this nonsensical tangent of a post. Thanks for reading through.

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nintendogirl106734-blog · 20 days

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Sister Turtle AU

This is the first time I am posting to Tumbler (and AO3 under RStar106734) and this is a project I have been working on for a while. However, school is busy and I have no clue how often I will be able to update it or respond to any comments or asks. Don't let that stop you though! Leave a comment or send an ask and I will try to respond when I am able. For now, here is the prologue to my story. Enjoy!

______________________________________________________________

People often describe their first memories as blurry figments of general sensations and assumptions based on stories that their parents tell them. They may be able to give a few details about moments that truly stuck with them, but even these memories are tinged with a nostalgic blur. That is not the case for me. My first memory is as clear as any memory could be and it can only be described as pure chaos.

The smell of smoke is the very first thing that I can remember. It burned far hotter than any of the flames that reached its hungry fingers toward my face. After that, the feeling of something soft surrounded me, drying the tears that slipped from my eyes and pinning me against some shiny fabric. Whatever it was, it was constantly moving. There was an almost constant bounce that was occasionally interrupted by hard jolts that threw me into something hard. After one particularly hard bump, the hard thing started to squirm against my shell. I started to move as well, trying to turn around and see the thing, but I could only catch a glimpse of something green and orange before there was another jolt.

I gave a little chirp, with four similar chirps repeating the sound behind my shell and a soft laugh from somewhere above my head. I tilted my head up to find what gave that non-bale sound, but I was entranced by something else. The area above our heads glittered with glittering stones. They were glowing, draping the surrounding area in a faint pink hue. They looked exceedingly similar to what I’ve been told surface stars look like at night, but I would argue that the gems are better. They change colors to match the sunlight above, with the pink fading to purple in my memory. I probably would have stared at those gems forever if… things hadn’t happened the way they did.

To be entirely honest, I’m not entirely sure what happened. I was staring at the gems one second, and the next, there was an extremely hard jolt that threw me away from the soft thing around me. I went flying right over it with nothing more than a startled chirp.

At that moment, it felt like time stopped. I could see the ground coming closer. I could hear panicking creatures screaming. The chirps of my bale mates echoed around me, but they went unanswered. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t make a sound. I could barely even breathe. I could only watch the ground approaching me. I knew that I had to move. I didn’t know what would happen if I didn’t, but something deep down told me that I had to do something. I knew that I was watching death approach but I could not force myself to do anything. The only thing I could feel was a paralyzing fear that still haunts my nightmares. I honestly believe that the only reason I can tell this story is because my instincts kicked in at the last moment. I tucked into my shell for a brief moment before I hit the ground.

The top of my plastron hit the ground before anything else and I was blinded by sudden pain. If I thought the smoke burned my nose, then this felt like someone was dipping my entire chest into lava. I think someone screamed at that point. There might have been multiple screams, but the ringing in my ears drowned them out. Nothing existed except for the agony that was spreading through my body and grew with every inch I slid away from my bale and the cries that managed to break through the fog.

Eventually, everything stilled for a moment. Nothing moved, nothing could be heard, and every sense was mildly dulled with the shell around me and the pain that now infected my entire body. I was finally able to take a breath. It still smelled like smoke with the new addition of fresh blood, but that breath felt like nothing had before. That one breath led to the next, which was followed by even more. My chest slowly moved with each inhale and the sound of air whooshing through my nose drowned out the continued ringing and my pounding heart. Each breath came slower and softer than the last. There was a pause when something blocked the front of my shell with a world-shaking thud, but the darkness only helped to drown out everything but my breathing and heartbeat. I don’t know how long I focused on my breathing behind my walls, but I think I eventually drifted off.

Father eventually found me. He picked me up with delicate movements that barely woke me, but I just gave him a quiet chirp and drifted off again. Things got a little blurry after that. Father tells me that it was because I got ill from stress and infection. He swears that he did everything to protect me and my brothers. He swears that he looked for the others, but there was no sign that they survived. I was the only warrior he had left and he would do everything he could to make sure I would have the chance my siblings ever could. He would raise me to be a protector of the weak, a warrior for the people, and the guardian that I needed during that chaos.

I will achieve his dreams for me. He wants the best for everyone, and if I need to make some sacrifices to make that happen… Who cares about the weapon that a hero uses to save the land?

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #tmnt au #sisterfic #rotttmnt seperation au #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt

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johanthefriskiestofbits · 1 year

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oooooo please tell me (who knows nothing on the subject) about orv swap au

hehehe. hehehehehehe. hehehehehehehhehehehhheheheh <- guy who is so normal

the premise of orv swap au (name has yet to be finalized) is this: what if kdj and yjh swapped narrative positions (reader <-> character) but very little else? what if a video game player enters a time loop to save his favorite character from dying over and over again and also to end the apocalypse?

admittedly it's not super fleshed out yet (a lot of the changes this premise would introduce are still not hammered out yet) but here are some points under the cut (novel spoilers ahead!)

orv swap au starts with pro gamer yjh who feels :/ abt his job, but hey, it pays the bills. despite (or maybe because of) his relative popularity as a pro gamer and networking with the agency/sponsors/people to impress, he's kind of isolated in a way that's detrimental, a facade of someone he's not whenever he's on camera

something to play around with is the idea of agency? maybe this yjh doesn't feel like he has any and has his hands tied between the lifestyle and being under public scrutiny and not having enough of a support system to leave everything behind. maybe he doesn't know what else he would even do. maybe he's aimless and drifting with nothing to hold on to.

his favorite video game is what i've been thinking of as World's Hardest To Play Indie Game (not based on difficulty but just on the experience of consuming it) a boring, exposition heavy, player-hostile, poorly designed, slightly buggy mess of a barely-playable game: twsa, a game that was not finished upon release and experiences with sporadic updates every now and then.

the ending tree to this game is so convoluted its insane. also theres no save states so if you die (very likely) u restart babeyyy.

twsa (video game) does have multiple endings, all of which happen when kdj, your main character, dies. some are farther into the apocolypse than others, some paths require meta knowledge of future events or character actions or items or whatever. the "true ending" is either analogous to the original 1863: kdj makes it to the end at the cost of everyone he loves, or hsy's modified 1863: kdj makes himself enemy of the scenario to secure a way out for the kimcom remnants.

there's branches on the choices tree where everyone dies and everything sucks and is bad forever and theres choices to make where kdj gets to make a family and they don't really get to settle down but they can get pretty close to it among the ruins of the apocalypse. through all his testing, yjh finds that these endings are nice but peter out - to get to the end of the apocalypse yjh has to claw his way there inch by painful inch, through betrayal and sacrifice, and he still cant fully get past it

i originally wanted to finagle a yoohankim 3 way swap but i couldn't figure it out. swap aus are a lot easier to work with when they're even numbers, at least to me, so this au features a ysa who is a video game company employee by day and by night she really has become god this time (and also a terrible indie dev). and this is how jungdoksang can still win !!!!

also yjh's coworker from Real Life hsy :) i haven't decided if she's like an employee for the same agency, or if she's someone else in the gaming circles that yjh interacts with sometimes (in my heart theyre in like some sort of discord server together), or something like that but she's around. whatever she does she is twitter cancelled for something. to me.

the only other character swaps are lsk and yma. yma is yjh's estranged sister (in broad strokes there's a vague bad parent situation going on here) (they used to be close until they drifted apart and slowly started hating each other [there is an abyss between them that neither of them can bridge]) (he feels that she betrayed him and threw him under the bus so he left [maybe he gets kicked out]) (she feels that he abandoned her to whatever situation they have going on [he didn't even try to take her with him]) and he has to find her when the apocalypse starts. yjh older sibling to yma gives us a whole different little dynamic to explore from kdj ysk (there's different levels of responsibility and guilt and blame when you're talking siblings that are soooooo interesting to me. sorry that i see any set of siblings and immediately try to figure out how to make them worse)

lsk is kdj's mom who appeared into existence at some point with kdj and they were both just adults. that's weird isn't it. oh well. i guess she can become a transcendent later too for funsies

everyone else stays in the same configuration of Real Person vs Character to me this is a very important aspect

this point has no precedent with the swap, nothing particular that would change to cause this, but it would be so funny if lgy was a little gamer boy who is an avid yjh hater. hates that guy. shows up to competitions to boo him. tunes into yjh's silent no-mic speedrunning streams to mald in chat but yjh +mods don't ban him bc its kinda funny.

anyways the apocalypse starts when yjh and his coworker/fellow gamer hsy are on a train to twitchcon and lgy is also there (also headed to twitchcon) and he brings bugs because he likes them but also to sabotage yjh specifically. its just funny if this happened. you understand

instead of having reader-related skills and abilities, yjh's skills are video game player based! he gets flavor text insight on people, location, and items, things like that. notably, he has the ability to reset, to bring himself back to the beginning of the apocalypse

orv swap proper follows yjh as the Player of the Game (Consumer of the Narrative) who lives hundred of lifetimes in this ruined-world-become-reality "replaying" [read: time looping through] the game to reshape it to save his fave character from self implosion (kdj with no dissociation is very prone to dying. all the time.). to revisit the idea of playing with yjh and the idea of agency, of creation, the only way to get past the apocalypse is to go off the beaten path, to choose options that weren't even there in the game. when in space, at his darkest point, yjh becomes a writer. in this story, at his darkest point, he has to become a creator too

please do not ask me how the epilogues go i dont know how the epilogues go (i don't want to throw yjh back into a train for milennia after he Just went through a thousand resets so i'm sending kdj for that but i havent fully planned how or why)

anyways, hope that helps!!! :)

#orv au #orvswap #i think i will main tag this. just the one tag tho. poorly planned au be upon ye.#orv #orv spoilers #<- for blacklists!#i only realized after creating this au that this is just how p//mmm goes except its videogame themed and hater lgy is there lol #anyways wheres that post that says time loops are about tragedy and theyre about saying i will make this right #and secret third thing time loops are about love #also each individual dynamic for the creater-player-character triangle in this is so interesting to me to explore like #you have the new kdj-yjh one (mostly similar tbh. was the crux of the au after all) which is a fun space to play in #but then you have a brand new kdj-ysa one to work with which is !!!! a writer and her character. a creator and her creation #and then you have ysa-yjh as the creator and her audience of 1!!!!!!! where is yjh that he needs to be saved? how does ysa answer that call #to love to the point of creation.... to tear the world asunder..... to create the worlds most unplayable rpg.......#lets meet again in another life. ysa reaches out toward yjh but cant reach him before she wakes up. cant quite tell him its not his fault #and Dont Even get me Started on yoo sister dynamics ill go insane #because theyre siblings but for a while (and def at the beginning of the story) it hurts to be around each other (its a betrayal #its a pang in your chest its a you were supposed to protect me and you were supposed to love me and i dont even know you anymore)#but also the swap means the 4th wall eats yma and leaves yjh begging for her back ('dont you hate her?' 'shes my little sister'#which is neither agreement nor denial but also both at once)#its ya boi #tango mango #anyways thanks for the ask im very normal about the ask

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stargazer-sims · 1 year

Text

Journal Entry #57 (part one)

Journal Entry #56 (part three) // STORY INDEX

Victor

So, uh... it's been a really long time.

I'm embarrassed to say, I actually had to check to see when either of us last recorded anything. Turns out, the last entry was Yuri's, and he posted it way back in the middle of March, the day I got my glasses.

It's the seventh of June today. Oops. Talk about major radio silence.

But, just because we haven't posted anything, that doesn't mean our lives haven't been eventful for the past three months. Yuri and I have had quite a lot going on, and maybe our lack of updates is a testament to that.

We were consumed by planning, packing, and preparing Yuri's immigration application for part of the time. Somehow I forgot how much work is involved in an international move despite having already done it before, a little over two years ago. This time is different because it's not just me. It's also Yuri and our dogs, and we've got the purchase of a house thrown into the mix as well, just to make things more complicated. Add that to my and Yuri's respective recovery, continuing drama with the extended family, and some much-needed relationship repair with a few of our friends, and you'll see we've got a very full life indeed.

I'm happy to report that I'm fully recovered from my accident. I was in physio for my arms up until the end of April, but the physical therapist said I could stop the day I told her I was able to lift my own body weight — all 86 kilograms of it — on the pull-up bar at work. I showed her the video Tomiko made of me doing it with just one arm, and the PT said it was obvious I could manage my own physical rehabilitation from that point.

As for the post-concussion symptoms, I'm no longer getting any headaches or random bouts of nausea, and I'm not nearly as light-sensitive now. The first day I was able to go up the mountain again, I had to wear ski goggles because the light reflecting off the snow made my eyes hurt. I really don't like wearing those, and I was glad when I was comfortable enough to take them off.

Yeah, my return to the slopes... that was an event. It probably deserves a whole entry of its own, but let’s just say Yuri, Sakura and Sakura's husband Takeshi made such a big production of it that it's not a day I'll soon forget.

Yuri said he had to be there, so I bundled him up in his warmest clothes, and then Takeshi and I wrapped him in a blanket and hauled him up the mountain on a rescue sled that Takeshi borrowed from Mountain Patrol. Sakura followed with our gear.

Takeshi situated Yuri in a good position to see everything, while Sakura and I got ready, and then it was time. We only did a few runs on one of the intermediate trails, but that was fine by me. I was admittedly nervous, and I didn't think I was ready to practice on the slalom course or the expert slope.

My first run was awful in my opinion, but I felt like I was getting my form and my courage back by the middle of the second one. When I pushed off for the third run, I felt the old, familiar rush of adrenaline coursing through my body and everything was as fluid and natural as if I'd never been away.

By the end of the third trip down the mountain, I was ready to stop for the day. It'd taken way more energy than I'd anticipated, and I was looking forward to going home for a hot bath and then maybe some cuddling and a nap with Yuri. He was exhausted too, mostly from waving his arms around and yelling himself hoarse, cheering me on.

Anyway, you guys all know that I could go on and on forever about snowboarding, so I'll stop here before this entry really does become all about that.

I should tell you about the relatively new thing in my life, which is my glasses. I wasn't sure I'd be okay with them at first, mostly because I didn't like having something constantly touching my face, but I got used to them pretty quickly and now I barely notice them at all. For the first couple of weeks, I wore them throughout the entire day, at the suggestion of the optometrist, and only took them off if I was driving or snowboarding. Now I just put them on if I'm doing something where I need to see clearly close up, like playing games, using the computer or reading.

I'm thrilled that Dr. Ishida was totally right when she said my ability to read was more about vision than intellect. Since getting my glasses, I'm going through books like crazy. I didn't realize how entertaining reading could be, but I guess that's because it's difficult to have a good time doing something when you can only do it for five minutes before you start to feel like your eyeballs might fall out from the strain. Now, I can read for hours at a time if I want to, and it's awesome. Did you know there's a genre of action novels? Kind of like action movies, but you read the story yourself and create the movie part of it in your imagination. It's great.

Yuri likes my newfound ability to read just as much as I do, I think. There's also a genre of historical novels which he happily introduced me to, and then he convinced me that I should read to him at bedtime. So, that became our thing up until I left. We'd curl up in bed together and either I'd read some of his current book to him, or he'd read some of mine to me.

It's been hard for us to read to each other lately, though, since I left Japan on the fifteenth of May. Mom and Julian let me stay with them for a few days until the transaction for our house closed on the eighteenth, and then I moved into our forever home. Except, it didn't feel like our forever home without Yuri there. If I thought leaving Yuri behind in Japan was painful, settling into that spacious house all alone might've been one of the most heartbreaking experiences I've had in recent memory.

Okay, I'm not technically alone. Sachiko the ghost is here, but sharing the place with her hasn't turned out to be as fun as I imagined.

For the first three or four days, I didn't see her at all, and when I finally did find her, she scared the crap out of me by making the tea machine levitate. Apparently, she was mad that I'd used her favourite mug for my tea.

Robert and Kim had left a few dishes in the house, including two mugs, and I'd used one of them because it was conveniently there. How was I supposed to know which one was Sachiko's? Up to that point, I didn't even know ghosts could drink tea, much less that they'd have a mug preference.

I think Sachiko and I are going to need time to get to know each other. She doesn’t seem to trust me, and after the tea machine incident, I’m kinda wary of her too.

The first night I spent in the house, I barely slept at all. Yuri and I chatted on FaceTime until his mother told him to get off his iPad and come have lunch, and then I was on my own. Noon for him was midnight for me, and there were a lot of hours between then and morning when I'd be able to talk to him again.

That was probably super confusing, wasn't it? I guess I should back up a bit and properly explain what's going on.

Just as Yuri and I both feared, he couldn't leave in the middle of his nutrition rehabilitation therapy. We found out that even with Dr. Kasongo's string-pulling to get him onto Dr. Kim's patient caseload, there still might be a months-long waiting time for him to see the doctor and the other professionals for the treatment he needs. He's already on the list, but since there's no way for him to transition seamlessly from one care provider to another, Dr. Kasongo suggested that it'd be better for him to finish his therapy and get his eating routine stabilized before he moves to another country. We agreed with her recommendation because he's been making such great progress, and we didn't want to derail it with a long interruption of his care.

It was a tough choice, but we ultimately decided that I’d travel home by myself to deal with the house closing, and so I could walk my mom down the aisle at her wedding. After the wedding, I'm planning to spend a week in Brindleton Bay with Grandpa Michael, and then I’ll return to Mt. Komorebi to be with Yuri until he's ready to travel. It isn't ideal and neither of us particularly likes it, but as they say, needs must.

The other half of the plan was for Yuri and the dogs to move in with his parents while I'm away. Neither his parents nor I felt comfortable with the idea of him staying alone, and since Mrs. Okamoto is on a leave of absence from work so she can devote her attention to taking care of baby Kinai, that means Yuri will never be without someone nearby if he needs anything. He complained about having to live with his parents temporarily, but I think he's secretly relieved to be close to his mother and to let her help look after him.

It's fascinating to me, how Yuri and I slipped so easily into our old habits that we had at the beginning of our relationship. We'd originally met online in November, not long after Yuri turned twenty and just before I turned twenty-one. His birthday is the twentieth of September and mine is the second of December, in case you may not recall. By February of the following year, we knew for sure that we were in love and wanted to be together forever, and I literally spent the next three years hoarding my money and learning Japanese so I could eventually travel there to be with him. Anyway, During that time, we talked on the phone or on FaceTime least twice every single day, and there were usually lots of texts and pictures and the occasional email or video exchanged in between.

Needless to say, scheduling our calls was important because of that pesky twelve-hour time difference between where I lived and where he lived. We used to talk at seven in the morning and seven at night. We took turns contacting each other, and to avoid confusion, each of us would call when it was morning in our time zone.

Morning calls were harder for me because I was going to college when we first met and then working once I'd graduated, and I could never talk too long as I was getting ready to go out for the day. Yuri's morning calls were better since he worked from home and could still get things done while chatting with me. Plus, it was evening for me then, so I had plenty of time.

Time isn't as much of an issue for us now, since neither of us are working. I resigned from my position at the fitness center in Kiyomatsu, and of course you already know Yuri is on medical leave until at least September. We still begin our video calls at seven o'clock, though. It's nice to have that consistency.

Something we've started doing in this new version of our long-distance relationship is eating together. I’ll usually have an evening snack while he has his breakfast, and sometimes he nibbles on a little something while watching me have mine.

Anyone viewing this might get the impression that we’ve become totally obsessed with food and eating over the last few months. That might be kinda true. but you gotta realize that for Yuri’s therapy to be effective, we always have to be mindful and use a lot of positive reinforcement around eating. So yeah, maybe we do talk about it a lot and maybe I do make a big deal of it even if he eats one small bite of solid food, but one bite without fear or stress is way better than being too anxious to eat at all, and I’d prefer to keep the forward momentum going.

When I first got here, Yuri was still having almost exclusively formula feeds at breakfast time. Then, one day last week when he called me, he appeared on screen with some sort of juice at the corner of his mouth, and when I asked him if he'd been eating, he proudly showed me the tiny bowl of pitted cherries he was snacking on.

"I like these," he said. "I ate seven of them so far."

A quick count revealed three left in the bowl, which he finished during our conversation. Ten cherries may not seem like a lot, but for Yuri, it's huge.

"Have you eaten anything else for breakfast?" I asked.

"Rice crackers with apricot jam, and Yuki let me try her cereal," he said, and then hastened to add. "I used my own spoon."

"You're doing great," I praised him. "Do you even know how proud I am of you right now?"

"Thank you."

"Are you having your formula too?" I asked.

He slid his chair back and lifted up the hem of his shirt so I could see the tube snaking out from under it. "I need the protein. But, guess what?"

"What?"

"I didn't have formula at lunch or dinner yesterday. I ate everything on my own. Oh, and I tried sparkling water."

"Did you like it?"

He wrinkled his nose cutely. "No."

"Better stick with regular water, then."

He nodded. "Mama's making salmon onigiri today. I'm going to try to eat a whole one."

"You like those," I recalled. "You've eaten a whole one before, so I know you can do it."

"Hopefully I've got room for it after my milkshake," he said.

I'll confess I was rendered momentarily speechless by that. I stared hard at the screen, wondering if I'd heard him correctly. "Your... milkshake?" I stammered after a second or two. "As in, actual milk and stuff? But, aren't you—

"Lactose intolerant?" Yuri said. "I'm not, actually."

"What?" I blurted.

"Trust me, I was shocked too."

"But, how...?"

"Remember, Dr. Kasongo scheduled me for all those food tolerance tests? You know, to see if I'm allergic to anything, or to see if I have low tolerance for gluten or sugar or... whatever?"

"Yeah," I said. "Mostly, I remember being stressed out because she scheduled it for after I left, and I couldn't go with you."

"I would've liked for you to be with me, but it was okay," he said. "Papa came with me, and it wasn't as scary as I imagined. We got the results yesterday."

"And you're really not lactose intolerant?"

"I'm really not. My nutritionist thinks it may have been a psychological intolerance more than a physical one."

"Meaning what, exactly? Like, dairy products made you feel sick because you convinced yourself they would?"

"Something like that," he said. "Mama says she thinks it might've been partially her fault. She says she tried to get me to drink milk and eat cheese when I was little, but it always gave me an upset stomach, so she eventually stopped trying. I guess we all just assumed I was lactose intolerant after that. Then, any time I had anything with milk in it, it was more my anxiety that was making me feel sick than my body's actual response to it."

"Huh," I said. "So... milkshakes?"

"Strawberry milkshakes. They're delicious and they're packed with calories." He beamed, clearly pleased with himself. "After my appointment yesterday afternoon, we all went out for American food.”

“That’s where you had the milkshake, I guess?”

“Mm-hmm. Mama and I shared a salad, but I tried one of Yuki’s French fries. Papa and Yuki both got milkshakes with their meal, and Yuki talked me into tasting that as well since we found out it wouldn't hurt me."

"And you were okay?"

"I was a little nervous afterwards and I thought I might be sick, but I kept telling myself not to panic. When I settled down, my stomach settled down too."

That was major progress. The old Yuri likely would’ve panicked, and he would’ve been throwing up and miserable for the rest of the day. Of course, he still might have had pain and an upset stomach regardless of what he ate or drank, but it made me wonder what percentage of his problems in the past were due to real digestive issues related to his illness and what percentage were caused by his severe anxiety around food.

He keeps telling me that he doesn’t like his psychologist and that he doesn’t think their sessions are doing any good, but I’m convinced somebody in that equation must be doing something right. Three months ago, Yuri wouldn’t have gotten within ten meters of American food, much less tried fries or a milkshake. Just the smell of deep-fried food would’ve been enough to make him nauseous back then.

Honestly, I don’t think he even realizes how far he’s come since he first started his nutrition rehab back in March.

"That's awesome," I said. "You’re doing amazing. And you’re having another go at milkshakes today?”

He nodded. "Papa bought strawberry ice cream. Did you know he knows how to make milkshakes at home?"

"I didn't know he knew how, but it's pretty easy anyway. Not much different than making a smoothie."

"Oh. So does that mean I could have extra strawberries in my strawberry milkshake? Or some other fruit?"

I laughed. "If you wanted to."

"When Papa comes home for lunch, I have to tell him." He looked excited. "This could be an adventure."

"Let me know how it goes."

He grinned at me. "I will."

I have no words to describe how happy it made me to see Yuri like that, and for the first time in a while, I let myself believe we were approaching something like a normal existence.

If he keeps going this way, he might be off his feeding tube entirely by the end of the summer. Then, we'll be able to come back here together and settle into the life we're both dreaming of.

I'm not naïve enough to think it'll be all smooth sailing after this, but I'm optimistic enough to believe we’re finally going to make it through the worst of the proverbial storm.

#writing #victorsworldadventures #victor nelson #yuri okamoto #tw chronic illness #stargazersims

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