#its been a while since ive done a painting

[faggotwalkwithme]

(Explodes into one million pieces)

[transthatfag]

kinda vampy

[luck-of-the-drawings]

so REVENGE, HUH? or justice, if that makes you feel better. it tastes the same when cooked just right. 'I REALLY WANTED A BROTHER.' such a shame to burn a bridge you so desperately wanted to keep, especially when it wasnt even you who started the fire. especially when you hope that not a single fragment of that bridge ever washes ashore.[MAY IT ROT FAR FROM MY SIGHTS] an unfortunate loss! atleast he has his friends.

[circusbythesea]

shiraishi's nightmare

[storm-of-silver]

Tell me, where do I go?

Tell me, where do I take us?

Your heart is starting to slow

May the water be safer

As I dive in

@bonefall Anytime you mentioned this death scene, I keep associating it with this song since the lyrics are LITERALLY this entire scene. "Bloodstains washing underneath the waves"??? "I can't hold on much longer, we're drifting down to the other side"?????? It was fucking PLAGUING me and I had to just get this out.

Anyways ur AU fucks and since this is ur favorite death scene hopefully I did it justice :)

[ink-the-artist]

Ok well now ive got to know if you'd be open to sell bug painting commissions bc im obsessed with ur recent pieces

im going to list those 2 on ebay tomorrow! I made those a WHILE ago actually and just forgot to sell them lmao. esp because i initially kept putting it off, and going to set stuff up on ebay just now I remembered why bc jesus what a convoluted site 😭

[coriphallus]

DA: The Veilguard Spoiler review pt2 - The Grime

this is a hard one to tackle without strawmaning anyone because itll be a direct response to alot of defense ive seen for the games morality system so ill just start by saying, iykyk

never a genre has been better equipped to discuss ethics than the interactive medium of games and yes, bioware games have been doing it since baldurs gate and no, theyve not always been 'centrist' and 'conservative'. im not even gonna entertain that idea. do you remember the cultural landscape DA:O released to? the landscape it was developed in? dont give me that just because zevran doesnt write in his little notes -that you can conveniently read- 'gay good. not me but me bisexual'

Thedas is a flawed world and its a world thats just as desperate to hang on to its status quo as our own. every time you play an elf thats thriving, or a human thats queer, or a mage thats not institutionalised you exist in a world that doesnt want you, it is an act of defiance that you do.

im sure we can all see why these games were so popular with the audience they can only weakly try to pander to today.

derailing time again; so one of my favourite paintings of all time is saturn devouring his son. it makes me feel so uncomfortable that it gave me nightmares as a child, and i still cant look at it without feeling this knot in my throat. i hate it. i hate how it makes me feel, how that man looks at me in terror like its begging me for help while cannibalising another. weird story but i was bewitched by that painting as a little kid.

it is not a well drawn painting, the proportions are all over the place, brush strokes crude and inelegant. it doesnt even have a deeper story nor was it intended for an audience. i will never know what goya thought of when drawing it.

i thought alot about that painting later in my life when i was struggling with mental health problems, i thought about goya alot too as an adult and after learning about his life. i stared at his paintings and remembered when i told my dad that i hated [saturns] big eyes and hed jokingly said "it would be scarier if he didnt have eyes"

i know what the drawing looks like now, nearly everyone with a little access to the internet does. if somebody removed saturn from it, we'd still be left with a brutalised headless carcass of a man in a canvas too big for itself. if we removed that too all we'd be left with would be void.

i dont want to live in a world where all i know of goya is his rococo work, i dont want to stare at the painting of a void knowing what filled it before. i hated every second of germinale but i never wanted it to be anything other than itself, the story it tells could never hold credence otherwise.

DAV has done its best to paint over it, but its still on the old canvas and i cant look away from the negative space its left, i know whats under it and it unsettles me, infuriates me. it hands me a palette with baby blues and pinks and tells me to paint over it to make a prettier painting. didnt i hate the eyes? wasnt it gross before?

i am not going to write why we need some grime in art, but its absence is disheartening. and to those who say hanged people in the streets or blighted villagers is dark and mature ill say no. its a kids idea of maturity, its the aesthetic of it with no substance. it means nothing to me if rook can just drench themselves in gallons of blight as they crawl through it. the horror of blight has never been the black goo and slimy tentacles, or the monster woman with way too many tits. it is watching people you love slowly fade away, it is a woman who was forced to cannibalise the contaminated flesh of her friends because the woman she loved betrayed her, it was the sheer scale and inevitability of it.

one area we go to is overrun by it and the game begs me to feel hopeful that flowers are growing again when it never let me lose hope. people have already prevailed, they have roofs over their heads and a steady supply of food on their tables. their spirit is unwavering.

its bad, everybody says. the sky is grey and soil is blackened, as my rook turns some statues to access a haunted house whos inhabitants are long gone and the only story they could ever tell is gone with them.

if the question is do i want to see famine? plague? misery? abuse? assault? the answer is yes. yes. i want to see it all of the filth. i rather face the fucking monster head on with its big bulging eyes and misshapen limbs than stare at the abyss its absence leaves on the canvas.

and if nothing else, this bastardization is disrespectful to the people who gave the IP its fame.

Why choose to be good?

back in the bsn days ive wondered why, even in a fictional universe where your choices have no real-life repercussions what-so-ever, players had more 'good' playthroughts than 'bad'?

what happens when you start killing NPCs, when youre needlessly mean to them? the game actively closes off its own content. you get less out of the game. just as, completely incidentally, you'd get less out of your life if you just started killing everyone around you. The world would be emptier, youd be alone.

in that quote i stole from good place chidi doesnt ask "why be good?" the wording is painfully deliberate. doing good is always a choice, and often not the easy one. what makes the act matter is that you chose to do it, even when given 6 other options not to. did i stop in the middle of an important quest to help a man retrieve an heirloom from a darkspawn infested hut? did i hear what that heirloom meant to him?

i cant stop thinking about that speech ever since playing this game after knowing its predecessors.

So, why do it then? Why choose to be good, every day, if there is no guaranteed reward we can count on, now or in the afterlife? I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people and our innate desire to treat them with dignity. Simply put, we are not in this alone.

i cant stop looking at this game that spits on its own legacy and think how could they have missed what fundamentally makes us human so bad, what makes us relate and empathise with eachother. what makes us pick the option to interact with an npc who openly hates what hawke is, and allow us to see the traumatised man underneath.

these characters of fiction are written by real people. i have absolutely nothing in common with a guy from canada yet for a brief moment in time i feel a sense of camaraderie as ive felt with goya that i couldnt articulate as a kid.

Nothing too terrible

DAV says it over and over again -as its wont to do with every piece of its flimsy morality- that people can change, people can be redeemed yet it shines as the game with most static characters in its franchise. it simply says things, and since it has nothing to show for it it makes sure to say it repeatedly, in case you missed it.

so when i first played DAO i was in high school, i started with a human noble because fresh out of dark side edgy kotor fame i wanted to be a posh brat. also because, ya kno, we were poor my entire life up until that point and i wanted to have power.

i committed to it, even as the game stripped cousland of everything he had, because i thought a man like him would. i picked the racist options, the sexist options, the options a man in couslands place would. halfway point of the game as i exhausted the initial dialogues something happened; this man who got paid to kill people, who showed no remorse nor care for his victims, begged my cousland to stil his blade.

and i did. i thought maybe he would be as confused as i was, maybe he had a moment of clarity but from thereon bit by bit he was less of an asshole. the characters grew around me, and my character grew around them. i chose to be good because -textually- we were in this together, at the end of all things.

rook is not a character, theyre a mascot. and quite frankly i think they may be a very evangelical mascot because they remind me of evangelical preachings of jesus more than the man from the bible (and i say this as someone whos only exposure to christianity has been through foreign media and the bible ive read that one time). they are the epitome of do no evil and their existence hinges on the frail concept of moral purity. theyre not a person trying to do good, who wants to be good, they are 'good'

-and lemme tell you its a wild choice to have someone like that locked in a prison of 'regret'-

rook can be mean to only one person in the game, and thats someone they dont even have a personal beef with for the most part. but even then they would be shouting at a wall because the game doesnt only undermine them with its narrative, but also every npc in the game suddenly gets possessed by the ghost of wattpad rejects past for a moment to tell them everyone can be redeemed. and i believe it because i played the other games, i believe it because i know zevran and sten and morrigan, isabela and thom and iron bull and dorian. i know it because i can see the vague shapes behind the new coat of paint but i am not rook.

so no, the game fails to get people-can-change points by its own merit, and it cannot gain points from its prequels because it destroyed them. none of those characters i watched grow exist in this universe. zevran cant exist with DAV crows, fenris` story cant exist in an imperium with invisible slaves only glimpsed through empty cages and broken chains left scattered on the ground. i dont know which morrigan this NPC is, is it the woman who grew to learn kindness, who begged to sleep with her friend just to save them despite knowing it would play into the plans of a destiny she so desperately tried to break free from? or is she the clever puppet her mother groomed her to be who wanted to harness the power of a god? i dont know her, i dont know this dorian or this isabela beyond their names ipso facto this is not a sequel.

bellara asks an assassin why he is trying to save the world and his answer is "ive done some things in the past im not too proud of. nothing too terrible, but some of it was bad." and i can hear the games desperation for me to not engage with its material in that 'nothing too terrible'

lucanis never killed anyone innocent, taash never harmed an animal they could shoo of or reason with, emmrich venerates the dead and is friends with every wisp he pulls to use in menial labour, davrin joined the wardens willingly because he wanted to do good...

rook tells harding that her anger is justified when shes not even allowed anger of her own.

nothing too terrible.

aside from creating boring and nonsensical and static characters it creates a dreadful echochamber that we're forced to sustain. No taash is not valid, their gender is but their behaviour is not and for the character to grow and mature it needs to be addressed. lucanis doesnt need to be pampered in shock blankets he needs to see how repressing his problems and jeopardising his health puts people around him in danger etc etc. they are adults and they need to learn more complex ways of healing. and if rooks flaw is that theyre an enabler, then that needs to be acknowledged by the narrative in some way too, and not mindlessly endorsed because they say some buzzwords.

none of these interpersonal relationships feels real because none of these people feel real beyond some draft of themes and tropes. some interactions literally remind me of two bots in facebook comments

i look at this dialogue wheel with familiar symbols and all im reminded of is hawke telling carver he carries every death with him, of him telling his uncle that he wasnt fast enough, of him begging the person he loves to tell him that his mothers death wasnt his fault.

and they dont. they just sit there with him.

[martinsorbit]

Oh hey, it's that sun guy.

After two arduous weeks (Aug 1st - Aug 15th) the Sun cold porcelain figure is COMPLETE! DONE! FINISHED! HE IS HERE IN ALL HIS GLORY

Its been a long (and at times painful) process considering the time it took for all the stuff to dry and for me to have free time to finish this project, but now the silly little jester is in my hands and he looks SO CUTE AND COOL!! HE EVEN HAS A HOOK

Thanks everyone for hyping me up and keeping me motivated during this <3 It literally meant a ton and helped me keep working on this bonkus shit

under the read more, there will be some more details about the figure itself and some more pictures ( Like materials, how much time it took, the process stuff etc)

feel free to ask me questions! thanks everyone!

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PROCESS!

Q: What materials did you use for this?

A: White Cold Porcelain, Hot Glue, super glue, pencils, pliers, paper clips, scissors, paint, all purpose varnish, paintbrushes, metalic pens

Q: How long did it take to make him?

A: Roughly two weeks

Q: Are you going to make moon too?

A: yes but it will take a while

Q: [X element of suns character design] is missing.

A: trust me, I know. Ive been staring at his model for roughly a whole week and mentally rotating him in my brain , so if something is missing its cuz i was either having a hard time making it or cuz I took creative liberties lmao

Q: How long did it take for the stuff to dry?

A: The cold porcelain abt 3 ish days; Paint took 1 day and the varnish also a day (as it states in the bottle)

FINAL NOTES:

Yes, you can use colored cold porcelain instead of painting it! It's just easier for me to paint it over

- For the love of god, be careful when applying the varnish, that shit is bad for your health! read the instructions, do it in a ventilated area, and NEVER put it too close to your face, or u might get some not so good side effects ( like yer eyes burning)

No, i dont intend on selling him anytime soon sorry ( this was asked before regarding some other cold porcelain thing I did, so I just thought i would add it here)

- If u dont wanna spend too much money on the colors u can just buy some Yellow, Cyan, Magenta, Black and White (CMYK) along with some skin tones; u can basically make any color from those

- I used two of Sun's main poses in the game as inspo for making this

- His faceplate is supposed to spin but since it keeps falling off I decided to glue it

[puckpocketed]

who is #43?

Hello !! First off thank u for visiting. If you clicked read more by accident rip sorry it’s a lot of text. ENJOY!!! <3

1. This was the photo reference I used. I really did mean it when i said he photographs well!! I really like how scrungly he looks at times lol. v paintable

2. here’s a timelapse for your viewing pleasure in video + gif form <3

3. Process breakdown below. I am not formally trained, so don’t take any of this as professional advice!! The way i paint has been compared to channeling some evil contract with a demon also. So um . Im saying that i dont remotely think that this is efficient or correct, its just whats comfortable for me <3

3a) the dreaded lining phase. I have 2 modes of operation when it comes to painting - either i go full-dick with fancy inking/sketching + cel shading (rare, unrefined, haven’t figured out a nice workflow yet) OR i do a very very basic chicken scratch set of lines like so:

It’s less about being realistic here and more about laying down some guide lines for the chaos ahead. If i thought i could get away with it, I would start every rendered painting i do with laying down colours — but unfortchh ive tried that before and it usually ends in really weird proportions. Even with the lines i still need to make adjustments. This is something no people except me would notice but look at the above sketch; the eyes are too big and slightly too far apart, the forehead is too small and thus the hair is also not quite big enough… I have a bad habit of drawing eyes too big on faces, they’re my favourite facial feature to draw.. i barely resisted giving him big cow eyelashes (I love big cow eyelashes… all of my OC’s and most of my more stylised fan art of characters get big cow eyelashes… god…. Big cow eyelashes SAVE ME……….)

Anyway. Structure of the face + hand somewhat established. <3

3b) Underpainting!! Okay stay with me here . Ever since i figured out i dont have to paint in 03925893853 different layers, I’ve joyfully painted on 1 layer as much as possible. I dont have the brain power all the time to be managing layers so I simply dont work with that many layers. For this painting, the skin in its entirety was painted on one layer, the hair on another layer, and the effects on the last layer. There was a placeholder background off-white/grey colour for a while there, and I duplicated the line layer — one for figuring out where to lay colours, and one hidden for later so i could check back to see how accurate to the sketch/proportions were to the actual painting. 6 layers, 2 of which i painted the bulk of the piece on, 1 more at the end.

3c) here’s where I started carving out features. I think about objects in terms of volumes and light rather than lines. i love painting and sculpting because of this!! Here you see where I’ve begun to define his features — his eyelids, his bags, his nostrils. Just refining what was there before. The suggestion of facial hair before i gave it up and left it for later (his face is so naked the WHOLE time)

3d) nose bridge highlight, suggesting his eyebrows, a cheek highlight. A touch more coral red and muted yellow pull away from the grey/blue underpainting. Strategically leaving some of it peeking through.

3e) i truly start messing with the fidelity of his features here. Red lipstick <3 and some violet/blue for shadows on the right side of his face.

3f) the part where it starts looking like q.hughes to me (though, my friend said i got his vibe pretty early on which is such a compliment.. waaaaa…..) I love this part of every painting i do. I know it’s definitely not the Correct order since other parts of the entire painting are simply Not Rendered or Done, but whos gonna stop me?? :3

I love love loveeee painting faces. Adding the little shinies to his eyes + lips + upper lip + nose … you don’t know how much of a difference it makes until you do it. Also i snatched his eyebrows

3g) i really pushed the red/coral/ochre/orange here. Note the yellow highlights on his cheekbones, the forehead, and the thin thin line of pink right between where his bottom lip ends and his chin shadow starts <- very important . To ME!!!!!!! Also highlighting his waterline and adding his lashes was so so fun <3

3h) FACIAL HAIR!!! And I started rendering his hand. Some micro adjustments made to his face for proportion check.

3i) i start painting his hair in earnest and realise his forehead is too small so i make the adjustment. I really love how it falls into his eyes in this photo. <3

3j) i make some final adjustments to his eyes — a bit smaller, closer together. And i refine the outline of his jaw, push the stylisation of it just a little.

3k) Finishing details; his flyaway hairs, his moles, a bit of texture on his face, shadows cast by his hair, his little forehead cut <3

3l) i adjusted his hand here, added more texture to his skin, refined his hair a tiny bit more, and made the decision not to fuck around painting his jersey because i wanted the focus to be his face <3

3m) Canucks blue and green. Captain at 23. His form bleeds into the background. He is the franchise.

theee most fun ive had painting anything. and i finally feel... warmed up? if that makes sense. art for me is like. if i dont do it in a while it feels like nothing goes right when i come back to it. i hate that feeling, and the most difficult hurdle to clear is letting myself feel that until i get back into my Zone. after all this time i feel like im BACK !!!!!!!

i loved painting this fella. hes SO Shaped. <3

Apologies i simply do Not have the energy to write the alt text for all of these so i hope the little blurbs are okay aslkjasdklj. i gotta post and go to bed . if u made it this far, thank you for reading!!

[craftyfeathers]

- Commission Windwaker Niko -

Its been a while since ive done anything windwaker style. So it was nice to be able to use Infinite painter n get painting again hehe

#comissionopen #OneshotGame

[hballegro]

the clock is here. all hail.

i forgot to turn antialiasing to the right settings with my pen so it is. the little numbers are chunky. thats life sometimes. just dont zoom in too hard. if i fix it, i wont make a new post abt it ill just edit it on to this one or something [and state that i did so in the post]

prev post with noclock version

and as promised here is also progress pics, harvested from when i sent screenshots to friends as i worked. as a bonus ive also included various layer names and the 5 different names the file went thru. the parts i [very lazily] painted over with dark blue had not been done yet, ergo anything with dark blue over it is just the picture itself so do not regard it

i will now be nice to myself and work on my fanfic and smaller drawings for a while. i will do eye posts sometimes still when i get a slow day and wanna do some peepers for 3 hours, i have collected many eyes [klinger, fr mulcahy, trapper, margaret, charles, hawkeye, bj. ive been busy stealing eyeballs to paint on. theyre all on one document its pretty funny]. i will be doing my best to force the cast into my style so i can do quick stuff.

i also WILL do more paintings of full shots again, but. fellas. ive done 3 back to back full paintings with no other digital art projects in between.

this has been NOT good planning lol

not sure if i should tag everything again so i will just. do so? idk i have not been on tumblr hardcore since like 2018 and have never regularly posted so idk proper etiquette. im gonna leave off characters for this one ig

[viking-raider]

Geeks in Love - Cotton Candy Fluff

Summary: You have a secret skill that Henry doesn't know about, but finally decided to present to him, in a thoughtful way.

Pairing: Henry Cavill/Reader

Word Count: 1k

Warning: G - Cotton Candy Goodness, Soft!Henry, Fluff, Geeks, Supportive Relationship, Shady Mother, Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Warhammer, Sneaking, Secretive Behavior, Hidden Skills, Cuddles, Kissing, Gifts, Surprises

Inspiration: This video on Instagram and Henry Cavills Warhammer 40k obsession.

Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy this! Line divider by @FIREFLY-GRAPHICS!

If you would like to get notifications for my writing! Just follow my Tag List blog, @VIKING-RAIDER-TAGLISTand turn on the notifications for it! It’s that easy! @VIKING-RAIDER-LIBRARY

Henry cocked a brow at his computer monitor as he watched your fourth sneak into his office/man cave, in the last hour. You tiptoed behind him, casting side eyes at him, as you went up to the display shelf the Warhammer 40k minis he had painted were sitting on. Standing there for a moment, trying to act casual, you'd pick one of them up and slowly turn your upper body away from him for a minute or two, before delicately putting the figure back in its place and scurrying out of the room.

Shaking his head, he turned his attention back to trying out Diablo IV. Until, about twenty minutes later, he caught your figure out of the corner of his eye and a smirk spread across his lips. He listened to the soft creaks of the floorboards beneath your creeping toes, while watching your reflection in his monitor.

You picked up yet another one of Henry's minis.

“What are you doing, babe?” He asked, as you put the piece back, startling the life out of you and making himself chuckle.

“Nothing.” You panted, pressing a hand to your thundering heart.

“You've come in here five times, in the last hour, and haven't said a peep to me.” Henry pointed out, smirking.

“I'm sorry.” You cooed, moving over to him. “How's your game going?” You asked, wrapping your arm around his shoulders and gazing at his screen.

“It's going great, thank you.” He answered, slipping an arm around your waist and pulling you into his lap. “But that doesn't answer my question, my love.” He purred, pressing a kiss to your neck. “Why are you peeking at my Warhammer Minis?”

A shy and guilty smirk crossed your lips and you quickly hid it in Henry's shoulder. “It's not finished yet.” You confessed against his skin.

“What isn't?” Henry frowned, shaking his head and leaning back in his gaming chair.

“Give me two more days.” You answered, raising your head to look him in the eyes.

A shallow crease formed between Henry's brows, but he nodded his head, trusting you. “All right.” He purred, but didn't let you go as you made to get up out of his lap, holding onto you for a short time longer.

Two days later, you guided Henry into the dining room, your heart pounding with excitement for what you had to show him, but your hands jittered with nerves that he wouldn't like it. On the dining table sat something covered by a throw blanket that was usually on the back of the couch. You motioned Henry to it, biting the corner of your lip, as he slowly pulled the blanket off.

“I know how it's been driving you crazy, since you finally finished painting your Custodes, that they've been falling over, with the slightest bump of the shelf.” You started to explain in a bubble of anxiety. “So, I decided to make them a little stand.” You pointed to the object he uncovered.

It was several tiered stands, stained nicely, that had lightly padded wells with a finger groove, for every one of Henry's painted minis to comfortably sit inside of. Henry looked it over, his mouth slightly ajar at the craftsmanship you had put into it, unaware you could make something like this, and felt a hard tug on his heart that you had done something so thoughtful for his geeky hobby.

“So, this is why you kept sneaking into my office the other day?” He asked, looking back at you, his handsome face soft with disbelief and love.

“Yeah.” You nodded at him, excited to see he clearly loved it. “I was measuring the stands, so I knew how big to make the sockets for them to sit inside of. Some of them are bigger than others, and I was taking extra measurements.” You explained to him, moving around to the side of the table, picking something off the chair. “I even made you a little box to put them in. So, if maybe, you ever wanted to take them somewhere with you, they had a protective case.”

“The stands fit in it”

He slotted the stands into the box that had the Custodes logo, his name, as well as one of his favorite quotes. “We die, though our war is eternal, We are doomed, but we walk in darkness, We are forgotten, yet the future is our gift to humanity.” He read aloud, then looked at you.

“Why didn't I know you were so good with woodworking and power tools?”

“When my mom found out you were interested in me, she told me to keep it to myself.” You confessed, looking down at your hands. “Because it's unladylike to know how to wield power tools and build something, like a guy. That you, a rich, successful and hot celebrity, would be turned off by it.” You told him, feeling your cheeks heat up and your eyes burn a little bit at recalling the conversation.

Henry felt a hot stab in his gut, angry at your mother for thinking such a thing of him. “What finally made you decide to show me this side of you?”

“Well,” You rasped, biting your lip for a moment. “I already have you, don't I?” You tried to make light, offering him a weak smile. “But, you did.” You told him, gulping. “You're so comfortable showing your skills, no matter what they are, geeky or otherwise. I finally felt comfortable enough to let go and show this part of myself, to show you the skill that I learned from my dad growing up.”

“This is how I wanted to do it, by making something for your precious minis.”

Henry pulled you against him. “I love it so much, babe.” He smiled, kissing you. “I am proud that you stopped listening to your mum and made it with your own two hands. You know, skills like that would have never turned me off. I find it incredible that you can do something like this.” He said motioning to the piece.

“I'll treasure it forever. Just like I will you.”

“That's a relief.” You giggled, pressing your cheek to his chest, feeling better that you didn't have to hide something you enjoyed from him anymore.

“I'm going to put my minis up!” He said, letting go of you and grabbing the box, before rushing into his office, making you giggle with joy.

[bumblebeeig]

Caregiver venture who is trying to help their depressed s/o? (I feel like they’d be so good at this with their personality and sense of humor)

they would be awesome at it :(( they’re such a little sweetie. here we gooo!!

btw uhh im writing this like. right when ive woken up so if its kind of sloppy i apologize 😭

- gn!depressed!reader x caregiver!venture -

- TW: mentions of bed-rotting and in general just not taking care of yourself well, a bit angsty, but ends with some nice old fluff

it had been a while since you really got out of bed. the only time you ever really left your bed was to get food, and water. and even with that, your dishes and water bottles began to pile up on your nightstand. you hadn’t taken care of yourself well either, barely showering, barely brushing your teeth. you just had no motivation to do anything.

all you wanted to do was lie there in bed, and rot away from the world. you had been feeling awful for so long, but this was probably the worst it had gotten in a while. you felt useless, tired, and overall just terrible.

obviously, this drastic change in behavior had caught the attention of your partner, sloan. they had become extremely worried about you, especially cause even they weren’t able to get you out of bed much, nor get you to take care of yourself. one day, they opened the door to your bedroom slightly, checking in on you.

“baby..? you doing okay?” they said, eventually allowing themselves in and walking towards your bed.

“…i’m fine sloan, don’t worry about me, okay?” you muttered out from under the covers, wrapping them tightly around you. you didn’t want your partner to worry about you, but you just couldn’t do it. you couldn’t do anything right now. they frowned, knowing that this wasn’t okay. knowing that YOU weren’t okay.

they crawled into your bed from the other side, sitting next to you as they rubbed their hand on your back gently.

“listen, (y/n).. i’m- i’m really not good with saying anything motivating, or moving at all.. but, seeing you like this… it kills me, you know? you mean so much to me. i know how hard this is for you, and i wanna help you so bad.. but i need you to let me… please.” sloans voice broke as they finished talking, gripping onto the covers over your body. they tried to hold back any tears they had. they didn’t want you thinking you had to comfort them right now. your comfort was what was most important to them.

you lifted the covers from your form, sitting up to finally face your partner. tears had welled up in your eyes, your hair disheveled after not having cared for it in a long while. “i’m.. i’m sorry.” you whimpered out, tears falling down your cheeks as you helplessly tried to wipe them away.

sloan immediately scooped you into their lap, keeping you close and warm. “shhh, don’t say you’re sorry, please… its okay, amor, shhh..” they kissed your face gently, wiping your tears away with their thumb.

you both sat there for a while, they let you cry your heart out. something you’ve needed to do for a while now.

after what felt like forever, you lifted yourself away from sloan’s chest, wiping your eyes. they had began to look pink and puffy after all the crying you had done. sloan cupped the side of your face with their hand, gently rubbing your cheek with their thumb.

“lets get out of here for a bit, yeah..? i’ll get you washed up.” they said, as they scooped you up. sliding out of the bed, they walked through your bedroom door and into the bathroom. gently, they sat you on the rim of the sink, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. they began to rapidly kiss you on every inch of your face, making you giggle. “hehehe! slooooann, stopp!” you laughed out. “theres my happy baby! god, i missed that smile.” they smiled back at you, their adorable chipped tooth showing. a pink blush painted your face, you missed how happy they made you feel.

they walked over to the bath, kneeling down over the tub and running the warm water. they hummed as they got back up, walking back over to you and placing their hands on your sides. “are you okay with me taking your clothes off hun? or do you want to do it yourself?” they asked, making sure you were 100% comfortable and safe right now. “oh, umm… you can, if you want.” you said, looking up at them softly. they returned your soft gaze, a sweet smile on their face. “of course, love.” they replied, beginning to take your clothes off gently.

after they were done removing your clothing, they picked you up, placing you into the warm water that had filled the tub. they turned the faucet off, before beginning to get your hair nice and wet. they then applied soap, gently scrubbing your hair and scalp. the whole time they hummed softly, enjoying every moment of taking care of you like this.

you felt at ease, letting sloan take care of you. you hadn’t had this in so long, and having it after so long made you so, so happy. you melted into their touch, every bit of feeling from their hands making you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. you were so grateful to have them in your life, and they were even more grateful to have you.

[ddlcbrainrot]

I love how your mind works so much everything you say is canon now bc I said so.

Since you've done Monisuri, Moniyuri and Natsuri thoughts, do you plan on doing any other ships? Sayonika would be cool/nf

my mind is a cat, a red panda and a raccoon in a trench coat pretending to be human, or so i’ve been told so thank you

if people ask me to, then sure!

sayonika makes my brain go brrrrr and i stop thinking proper thoughts bc i love them so much every time i see them i just go hehehe so this is going to take a while bear with me

m…monika and sayori,… kithes…

ok but srsly, i think the reason i like sayonika so much is bc its a very versatile ship. You want cute best friends to lovers? Side stories are right there. You want angst fest, hurt no comfort with no happy ending? Base game is right there

If we are talking about base game, a lot of questions pop up. Like how did they even get together? (probably some time after the ending, maybe since both have gone through the epiphany they bond over that) Can they even be in a functioning relationship after the events of ddlc? (a functioning one? no lol, but maybe after a lot of work they make something special) Does Sayori ever forgive Monika? (surprisingly, yes after a long time. I actually can see her "forgiving" Monika right away, only for her to build up resentment over time and snap and so she realises that she needs to actually feel and process her feelings of anger and betrayal before she can forgive Monika) Does Monika forgive herself and lets herself be loved? (THERE IS NO WAY LMAO). So yeah, the main headcanon i have for them in base game is that Monika never fully forgives herself, no matter how much Sayori insists she forgives her. Because i love suffering.

Anyway lets step away from the sad sad world of base game and get to the happy stuff of side stories :D

So yeah, bffs that slowly realise they like eachother

I think ive mentioned this before, but they give off first sapphic crush/relationship vibes. if you know you know

Both had a hard time accepting they like each other bc both were like "shes too good for me..." (dumbasses)

Acting like a couple before even being together, im talking hand holding (how lewd...), cuddling, compliments, you name it

And when Natsuki would be like "you guys act so gay for eachother" they'd be like nnNnNoOoOo We're just gals being pals (dumbasses p2)

Who would confess? Probably Sayori. But only in a last resort situation. She'd be expecting to be rejected too. Surprise surprise being the kindest person alive gets people to like you who would have thought

PDA couple.

Sayori's physical affection and Monika's words of affection? You can't be around them without getting diabetes

Im not kidding when i say they would be the worst couple to be around. But like in a sweet way

Sayori steals Monika's clothes

They paint their nails the eye colour of the other person, so like Sayori paints them green and Monika blue

When one is having a bad day, the other gives little notes filled with cheezy puns throughout the school day to cheer them up, and they talk about whats bothering them after (sayori started this and it has become kind of a tradition)

I can keep going but if I do this will end up longer than the declaration of independence

[the-s1lly-corner]

Can you write the TADC cast with a male ballet dancer reader? The reader experiences gender dysphoria 24/7 because they look very feminine and all that.

TADC cast x male!ballet dancer!reader w/ dysphoria

back to finishing up the current line up of requests!! reminder that im only doing requests that have been sent in prior to them being closed! any requests that are sent in while theyre still closed will not be taken and will be deleted so i can keep track of what was sent before closing; its nothing against any of yall and you guys can resend your stuff when they are reopened (i will make it very obvious when they are so dw!!) on a different note i could have sworn i did a cast request with a reader who does ballet; but i guess it was only for jax and i was confusing the group request for the ballora type! reader from this morning huh anyways!! i hope you enjoy this anon! quick warning that i know literally nothing about ballet so im

CAINE:

i think he enjoys a bunch of art forms; from music stuff to dance stuff to painting stuff, this man has taste. i think he would give you a bunch of outfits for you to wear and swap around that fits your aesthetic. bro would give you a whole walk in closet. as for dysphoria, i think he would do a similar thing with jax and reinforce how masculine you are to him, usually through affirmations, but he also shows it through just being there for you, bro is not only your number one fan but hes also your biggest supporter

POMNI:

i am yet again stumped on what to put in for pomni, since i think pomni is. bad at comforting people. very awkward, do not go to her for advice she will fumble so bad. now its not like shes not trying, but i think she would be all over the place trying to cover everything that could possibly help you; perhaps you two ultimately settle on cuddling one another... if this werent the digital world you two would probably put on a movie to take your mind off of it. as for her thoughts on ballet! i think she would find it neat, similar to jax she would have a form of respect for it!

RAGATHA:

she thinks it looks pretty, the dancing! she wouldnt know all the history or more in depth parts of it but she would watch you practice if you allowed her too... i think she would make you a binder, if your digital body causes any gender dysphoria for you.. though now that i type this i recall it being said that the characters clothing being stuck to their body.. so maybe she would just make you clothing thats more masculine as well? im not sure on this one!

JAX:

doing jax first since he already got a similar post and i can use it as a basis; ive said this in that post as well as the ballora one but i think he would at least appreciate the dedication and hard work that goes into ballet... to like, fully commit to something like that impresses him you know? as for dysphoria, i think he would make it a point to call you more masculine terms. hes gonna be trying his best to try to help you with your dysphoria in the way that best helps you. lays off on his teasing on days where its worse

KINGER:

i am yet again distraught that i do not have many ideas for kinger this time, which is sad because hes my favorite character and i can relate so hard to the dysphoria thing... thinks.. probably throws all of his knowledge at you. i mean hes been in the circus for a while, hes probably seen at least a few people come and go; and sure what are the odds that he has some experience helping someone fight through their dysphoria... a boy can dream! takes you to his pillow fort and lets you stay for as long as you want

probably sits and watches you dance on a makeshift pillow thrown. claps when you're done, probably throws roses... i think caine would throw roses too except he would throw way more simply because he can literally. manifest as many as he wants

ZOOBLE:

i dont usually like sharing my lgbt hcs about characters out of fear that it would be met with discourse but if i recall correctly zooble doesnt really have a gender/a set one (if im wrong correct me!) so they understand the dysphoria thing; i think they would offer to let you hang out in your room and vent your feelings out. probably tries to give advice on how to feel better in general if you want advice, but if you want comfort theyre gonna do your best to give it to you. i dont think zooble would have much of an opinion on ballet; neither negative or positive, simply knowing thats its an art form! supports you if it makes you happy, though!

GANGLE:

while not the same thing, i like to think gangle used to do ribbon dancing in the real world... because... ribbon girl. see look im so so creative

but also i think it looks pretty

so you guys can bond over your hobbies! you might have to pry gangle to open up and talk about her interest in it, assuming she picks it up again in the digital world! as for dysphoria, i think gangle would be like zooble in terms of lending you some support; offers to help distract you if you dont want to tackle the issue at that point in time. i dont know about you, but sometimes i just, dont want to deal with my own dysphoria, but perhaps thats just a me thing

[thewordswewrite]

The Drought of an Ocean

Chapter 16 - Epilogue

Pairing | Finnick Odair x Fem!Reader

Story Summary | Finnick Odair was the youngest victor to ever win the Hunger Games but that didn’t earn him respect as a mentor, at least not until she came along. When a dejected volunteer from District 4 puts her life on the line, Finnick will do anything he can to protect her.

Chapter Summary | 10 years later...

Chapter Warnings | N/A

W/C | 1.7k

Taglist | @lem0ns77   @lostintheendlessvoidthatislife @curlycarley​   @bela-nov​ @lilylovelyxo​   @jaydiann @shynypeacekitten​ @dd122004dd​ @jyessaminereads​   @aquawhore420   @qallaghereid  @bazzaza​ @zulpix-blog​ @mrsjna​   @americanstarlette @lou-the-confused-bisexual​ @maxinehufflepuffprincess​ @cecepop15   @pavard-leto-girl  

A/N | Alright so this is actually the end BUT asks are open for oneshots for the missing 10 years between chapters 15 and 16! Thanks everyone so much for reading and following us on this journey!! -Smoe

Donations |  Link

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In her dreams, the more and more she had as the years went on, she was at the beach–their beach–and as she sat watching the waves hit the shore, and the sun began to rise over the horizon painting the waters red with its color, for a moment her stomach would drop. Her chest began to tighten until she cupped the water in her hands, finding the illusion to only be the sun’s rays mirrored across the horizon. She would bury her feet in the sand, letting the seafoam lick at her ankles as birds called overhead. It wouldn’t be long until she felt a presence beside her, the comforting pressure of arms wrapped around her middle that bled in from reality.

This morning the feeling was just that: a feeling. She shook her head, laughing to herself about her chronic morning-person of a husband. It was hard not to think of his teasing words as she pulled her limbs back towards her body at the center of the mattress. She rubbed out a crick in her neck before pulling open the curtains and letting the sun shine into the room. 

Humming a light tune, she padded a few feet down the hall to the next room over where she opened the door just a touch to peek in. Her heart leapt in seeing the empty bassinet until she remembered the abandoned space in her own bed. She couldn’t say she was used to their routine but six months of it almost daily was starting to ease her panic. Over a year ago, for the second time in her life, Finnick held her as she cried–this time tears of joy–and nine months later their little starfish was brought into the world during a storm that drowned her screams.

With her own stomach rumbling, she set off to the kitchen to prepare a bottle, something Finnick still hadn’t mastered as he’d rather let the bottle get ice cold than risk any pain to their daughter. He’d been especially careful in everything he did since their daughter was born, their household of two made a family of three; from baby-proofing the house, reading the limited parenting resources he could get his hands on and above all, keeping the both of them within reach at all time, safe in his care. As a gesture to both their future as a family and their newfound freedom, he’d discarded his trident, a sign of all that he had done, been forced to do, in the remnants of the Capitol. 

Filling the kettle at the sink, she could just make out the form of her husband, cradling their baby girl out by the shore, through the window. Before returning to the stove, she opened the window to tend to her flowers, a window box secured by Finnick at the start of the season was full of blooming Primroses after Peeta sent seeds in one of his letters. Though she was never close to Katniss, she had grown to know her sister while she recovered in District 13 alongside Peeta. The girl was caring and had impeccable bedside manner, her hands steady when changing her IV, smiles came easy when she saw the bobbing blonde head of the littlest Everdeen sister. It was terrible what happened, she had been walking close behind Katniss when they tried to infiltrate the Presidential Palace, then the first round of bombs hit…the second.

She closed the window with a sigh and put the kettle on the burner. At the table there was a short stack of open mail, a rarity considering all that had happened, which Finnick had already sorted through. She smiled to herself, recognizing Peeta’s blocky script even before picking up the letter, an extra blush spreading across her cheeks at the greeting to the Odairs. It was mostly business as usual, Peeta filling them in on their simple life in 12 and in turn asking about them, especially now that they had a little one to update on. A year had passed since Katniss and Peeta visited and four since they backed Katniss’ decision to take down Coin and thus inciting their exile. It was a privilege to have anyone to share their pregnancy with, most of all given what they’d been through and lost to get there. 

She was about to put the letter in the drawer with the rest when she saw the small scrawls on the bottom of the page.

‘Saw this and thought of you, then of her but Peeta didn’t approve. Good luck - Katniss’

Riffling through the pile of mail, she couldn’t figure out what the note was referring to but she didn’t often know what Katniss was referring to; better to ask Finnick later. She grabbed the warmed bottle and stuffed the letter in her pocket to bring with her before slipping out the back, the screen door creaking closed behind her.

The morning was beautiful, a cool breeze contrasting the already warming sand, with rays of sunlight just finally rinsing fully above the horizon. Her bare feet sunk into the uneven ground, as she made her way towards her husband and daughter who watched the waves together.

“Here, breakfast.” She placed the bottle in his awaiting hand, taking a seat next to him on the blanket he had laid out. 

“Oh, thanks. I hadn’t eaten.” She rolled her eyes at him and his smug smile. They sat a while in a comfortable silence as their daughter ate, falling back into a slumber with a full belly when the bottle was gone. 

Pulling the letter out of her pocket, she handed it to him, absentmindedly stroking her daughter's silk soft hair, “Did you see this?”

Finnick chuckled softly, “I’m sure Peeta was mortified but I thought it was funny.” She raised an eyebrow at him as he slowly pulled back the blanket their daughter was comfortably swaddled in. They both braced for her to wake but as Finnick carefully shifted to show his wife, she only clung to her prize tighter and let out a sleepy breath. Cuddled in her daughter’s arms was a small stuffed bear, the mouth a zigzag of white stitching mimicking teeth. She used to think if she ever saw a bear again it’d be too soon but looking down at the stuffie clutched in her daughter’s tiny hands she couldn’t help but smile.

“Never thought Kat would be the one with a sense of humor, huh? You two are too alike,” She huffed with a smile, shaking her head in disbelief.

He hummed in response, “You know she hates when you call her that.”

“And you hate it when Peeta calls you Finn but here we are,” She followed Finnick’s gaze as smiled down at the dozing infant, too lost to truly hear her,  “Here we are.” Save for the sound of the waves crashing on the shore, the beach around them seemed to disappear, their small family the only thing in the world. Her heart clenched in her chest, still seeing that nineteen year old boy who had taken a chance on her even behind the worry lines and the scars. It was a miracle that they were here at all–the odds stacked against them from the beginning–let alone together in the life that they had made. 

The air was heavy for a moment, Finnick on the verge of saying something multiple times before he finally got out, “I never thought we’d get this. Especially not her,” He clutched the baby tighter to his chest, kissing her forehead before inhaling deeply, “not after we lost–”

“We lost…a lot, and I never thought I’d want what I have, but I’m happy.” Finnick stared up at her, a familiar and unsure expression that often crossed his face, even after all this time, as if to ask, ‘are you sure?’ She reached to tuck a stray strand of blonde hair back in place, landing with her head resting on his shoulder. “I love our family, you and Ondine.”

“Our little wave.”

In an attempt to break the tension, she huffed a sigh, “Doesn't feel so little when you have to push her out of your…” She trailed off mumbling to herself as she began to stand up. “Let’s go, I’m starving, and you’re cooking!” Before she managed to take a step, she was pulled back by a  hand clutching the hem of her shirt. 

“We got this too,” Finnick fished another piece of mail from his back pocket, not bothering to make eye contact as he handed it over and immediately turned his attention back to his daughter. She eyed him suspiciously before taking the cardstock, his demeanor suddenly tense. The page was covered from top to bottom in words, some she didn’t even know and when she looked up from it Finnick was already awaiting her reaction. The confusion must’ve been clear on her face, for he explained, “It basically says…we can go.”

“Go where?”

Finnick held their daughter tighter to his chest, stroking her cheek as he answered, “Our exile is over. Katniss and Peeta’s too.” He was biting his lip, his brows furrowed. She placed a firm hand on his shoulder, urging him to look at her. 

“Go where?”

Finnick sighed, “Home? Back to 4.” She tipped his chin up with her index finger gazing into his worrisome eyes. With her thumb, she smoothed out the wrinkle between his eyebrows, something that never failed to make him laugh. 

Her whole life sat before her, the culmination of all that she’d experienced and everything that she shouldn’t have survived. Every step of the way they had tried to tell her story, the twists and turns and all the endings, happily ever after written out for her when martyrdom didn’t cut it. But for the first time in her life, the pages ahead were blank and she was the one with the pen. She managed to have it all: her life, her family and now, her freedom. Looking around at what her and Finnick had built together, she smiled, her heart clenching and eyes watering at the realization.

“We are home.”

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