#its beautiful. ive stared at this for 5 hours now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

delightfulcollectivetyphoon · 6 months

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heres the knifeplay as promised.

warnings: knifeplay, overstimulation, blood kink, praise, bondage, oral (f receiving), vibrator, cockwarming, hair pulling, p in v, mirror sex, edging, spanking, addiction reference, mention of a threesome (possibly foursome), mention of a breeding kink, squirting, aftercare, softdom!james, use of (Y/N) ONCE, angst, lactation kink, bondage, my insanely shitty writing

a/n- ummm yeah i might have projected my abandonment issues a lil bit jk a lot so yeah theres that and also UUUUGGGHHHH hes not a want hes a need. i NEED him to **** and ******* ******* ***** ********* **** * ***** *** *** ** *** ********* *** **

also im sorry ;-; i did minimal research on how it feels to lactate so um yeah sorry if its inaccurate anyways first time ive ever written a lactation kink and i fucking hate it :D lmao my writing not the kink. uuuh yeah finished this at 11 pm so sorry if its fucked up if you notice any errors at all, please contact me :)

His right hand tugged your hair, and his left hand held your wrists behind your back as he took you from behind. Tears had started to pool on the blanket below you; he had been edging you for about an hour now as he used you to chase his own release. The red easel mirror in front of you bore your helpless image under a man so heavenly you felt like praying every time looked your way. He stared into the reflection of your eyes as he chased his own release, slack-jawed and sweaty. When he finally reached his peak of ecstasy, he stopped thrusting and ground himself on your ass, length throbbing as he released inside of you. His balls drew up against your labia. You whined as the hot fluid spilled out of your abused cunt, dripping down and sliding over your clit. He groaned as you clenched around him, tearing every last drop of release from him.

"Please Jamie," you sobbed. "I need to cum so bad I'll do anything!"

The hand holding your hair let go and landed roughly on your ass. He gasped through his teeth at how you tightened at the impact. He brought his hand down again, and again. He watched the skin ripple with a great amusement. He could see the marks he made on your ass, proud that you were taking it so well. While massaging the pained flesh, he pressed his front to your back, and spoke,

"Anything?"

"Anything, please Jamie please!"

He pulled out and flipped you over. You looked so beautiful, your ruddy cheeks, your puffy eyes and lips, and the tiniest string of drool hanging from the corner of your lips. You looked at him in fear of his definition of 'anything'. He leered at you, then dropped to his knees and forearms, shoving a finger in your sore hole, and immediately took to sucking on your puffy clit. You screamed at the sudden overstimulation; your head fuzzy as your clit throbbed on his tongue. He lifted his head from your folds but kept a steady pace with his hand.

"You need to cum 3 times, okay? If you don't, you don't get to cum for a week. You don't get anything but my hand and my mouth, is that understood?"

"Yes," you slurred.

He dove back down and continued lapping at your nub. He had so far denied you 5 orgasms, and each one caught up to you in less than 2 minutes. You screamed as you gripped his hair so hard you were afraid of pulling it out. Your thighs closed around his head, suffocating him as he fingered you through your high. You saw stars as the orgasm worked its way up to its peak. You clenched so hard he could barely bend his fingers. The sound of your moans and the lack of air nearly made him cum again. He ground down into the mattress, moaning into your cunt as his cum stained the sheet. He continued to eat you out in a frenzied manner.

"It's too much," you cried "Jamie stop it's too much!"

He inserted a third finger as he lifted his head. He simply grinned at you, at your oblivious-to-what-was-coming expression. He pulled his fingers out, a mix of cum and spit connecting his hand to your hole. You breathed a sigh of relief as he sat on his heels, observing his work. Cum leaked from your cunt, your hole red and puffy. As you caught your breath, he moved so that he was holding you in his arms, his back leaning against the headboard, and his hands encasing you in a suffocating hug. He peppered kisses along your scalp, grinning as he caught your expression in the mirror.

"You ready?"

You stared back at him through the glass.

"For what?"

"You still owe me 2 more. And I don't think my baby could go a full week without cumming. I don't think she could last 7 whole days without my cock or mouth or fingers. Hell, you would beg me just to let you wear one 'uh my shirts."

You whimpered as he lifted your thighs so your calves crossed his. Your cunt was now directly facing the mirror, angry and sore. You whimpered as you realized you had to do this. He was right; you couldn't last a whole week without him. Hell, you couldn't even last 3 days. He was like a drug, once you start, you just can't quit. His hand snaked down your waist and onto your inner thigh. He rubbed the sensitive skin as he whispered praises into your ear.

"You're being such a good girl for me baby.'

"Love this tight little cunt so much."

"Let me take care of my pretty little girl."

"Let me make her feel good."

As soon as he muttered the last sentence, he began to very softly skate over your clit with his middle finger. You inhaled sharply as his free hand began to massage your breast. He toyed with the nipple, twisting it every which way. Since he couldn't suck on it, he put his finger in your mouth, making you coat it with your spit. You sucked on his finger slightly longer and harder than needed, just to spite him. He raised his eyebrow and began twisting your hypersensitive nipple again. You moaned as you grabbed his thigh with one hand and his forearm with the other. You felt another orgasm approaching. James egged you on, smiling as you tried so hard to accelerate your release. You ground against his hand, chasing ecstasy. It came with one hard twist of your nipple. You saw white, dotted with black. As he watched your release gush into his hand, he praised you through the aftershocks.

"That's my girl."

"Knew she could do it."

You sat there, gasping for breath. A thin layer of sweat coated your body, making your bodies skid against each other, which James used to his advantage. He had begun to leak precum down your back, and your squirming had only aroused him more. "Readjusting", or so he said, he thrusted once against your back. He hissed as he got his desired friction.

"You need help with that?" you teased, despite your exhausted state.

"Oh no, you're not getting out of this. Since everything has to be all about you." He was still pissed off because you had been flirting with other men, and one or two women right in front of him. He knew it was just to get him riled up, but he couldn't help it. Your punishment: edging. Each ruined orgasm accounted for one person you had flirted with. And he was great at keeping track.

You whined as he began his torture again. Only this time, he was whispering his filthiest fantasies in your ear.

"Wanna tie you up and make you wear a blindfold while I ruin this pretty little cunt."

"You would like it if I shared you, especially with one of the guys from the band. Don't lie."

"Gonna see how many times straight I can make you cum from my fingers."

"I should put a fucking baby in your womb. Watch as it grows, as your breasts grow. Milk you with my mouth every day. Knowin' I did that."

"Watch you fool around with one of the guys. But while he's fucking you senseless, remember who you belong to."

You gasped at the last one, which earned you a slap on the thigh. The skin grew bright red, and it stung like hell. Your third orgasm hit you the hardest. Your eyes clouded over as your hips lifted off the bed, and you shot your fluid across the bedspread.

"Fuck! James...James...Uh fuck...baby...fuck!"

His free hand pressed on your lower stomach to keep you still.

"Shhh baby I know, I know. Fuck, look at that beautiful little mess you've made. So fuckin' perfect."

He held you tightly around the waist as you writhed. As you thrashed, you gave him the friction he wanted.

"Scoot forward a little bit."

You crawled out of the confines of his legs and watched as he jerked himself off. You felt like passing out, but you wanted to show your appreciation. You crawled forward to where your hand was in reach of his cock. You took his hand away from his length and set it on his thigh. You rested your head on the hand, prompting him to slowly caress your hair. You started out slow, twisting your hand around the base and rubbing your thumb over the head, making absolute sure you maintained eye contact with him. He came in hot spurts, and you watched as the translucent liquid rolled over your fingers. You brought your hand up to your mouth and sucked his cum off, hollowing out your cheeks. He brought both hands to the sides of your head to pull you in for a kiss; he loved tasting himself on your tongue. You straddled his thighs, gasping when you felt his spent cock rub against your clit. The kiss continued until neither of you could breathe; whether you had forgotten how or you were too busy enjoying the other, you didn't know. After what only felt like a few minutes, you separated. You didn't have it in you to walk, so James went to go get a towel. You could hear water running in the bathroom, and when he came back, he carefully cleaned your combined mess. He helped you get dressed and led you to the living room, where he sat you on the couch and ordered takeout, all while gently massaging your bruises and sneaking glances at your exhausted demeanor. The night continued on with a movie and some of the best Chinese you've ever had. It ended with pushing yourself further into him under the covers, so he could hold you closer.

When you woke up, you found yourself feeling sore, but ultimately refreshed. You could walk without wincing, which you thought was an absolute win. You made yourself a cup of coffee but waited until James got up to see if he wanted to go out for breakfast. As you put your mug in the dishwasher, you could hear the bedroom door creak open, and his heavy footsteps come down the hallway.

"Wakey, wakey sunshine. I was thinking about going somewhere for breakfast. Where should we go?"

"Give me like... 5 minutes and I'll get back to you," he grumbled while digging his palms into his eyes. You turned around to him sitting hunched over in a chair, hands still over his eyes, resting his elbows on his knees. You pulled up a chair next to him and set your hand on his back.

"Everything okay?"

He lifted his head and swung his arms down between his legs as he looked at you.

"Yeah, just didn't get much sleep."

"Why? What's going on?"

"Oh, nothin'. Just couldn't stop thinkin'."

"Do you mind me asking you what?"

"I'll tell ya later," he said, grinning. He stood up and walked over to the coffee maker.

"There's some still in the pot."

He hummed in acknowledgement as he pulled a mug from the cabinet. You watched him pour a cup and walk back over to you. He sat down and held the mug between his hands, enjoying the warmth.

"Did I do something?" you blurted.

"What? No, nothing." He set his coffee on the table and took hold of your chair, turning you towards him.

"You," he said, pointing his finger at you, "did nothing wrong, okay? I know you like to overthink things, but really, it's nothin' bad. And, I guess this defeats the purpose, but I have a surprise for you."

He spoke with a stern voice but lightened up significantly with his last sentence. You opened your mouth to speak, but he knew what you were going to ask.

"Do not ask me what the surprise is," he said teasingly. You laughed and stood, sitting back down on his lap, both legs on one side, facing him. You put your hands on his shoulders and pecked him on the lips.

"Not workin'."

"What?" you asked innocently, batting your eyelashes.

He set a hand on your thigh and rubbed the skin.

"You think you can bribe it out of me with a kiss, but it's not happenin' darlin'."

"What if I did more than a kiss?"

"Well shit. Guess I am a pushover."

You giggled as you stood, his hand flopping back down on his own thigh. You had turned to walk to the bedroom but were stopped by his hand on your forearm.

"What do you want?"

"In what category?"

He raised an eyebrow, his grip suddenly tightening on your arm.

"Hello, Earth to (Y/N). Breakfast, ya weirdo."

"Mhm, yeah, breakfast. I don't care, you pick."

He released you as you began your walk again, letting his fingers graze against your passing arm. A chill shot down your spine, engrossing your body in goosebumps. You tried to hide it as you rounded the corner. He watched you go, eyes everywhere but your head. Really has no idea what's coming, he thought.

A few days had passed before James would even travel below your navel again. You didn't know why he wasn't touching you nearly as often as he used to. Is the surprise a cold shoulder? One night, after James had finished with the dishes, and you had dusted throughout the house, he finally spoke up.

"Come sit with me for a second."

"Is this about why you've been ignoring me?"

"Well, yes. You really wanna know what I was thinking about a few nights ago?"

You fiddled with your hands in your lap.

"Of course! We haven't fucked for the majority of the week! Obviously, somethings up."

"Well, do you remember when you came back from the concert with me? And we were sitting on the porch?"

"Yeah?"

"When you sat down, you noticed my knife. You begged for me to use it on you."

"Oh." You thought that you had crossed a line. Maybe he had something in his past with knives, and you had overstepped.

"I just wanted to make sure you want it."

You looked up in surprise, finding him fiddling with his rings.

"Y'know, those scars don't go away easy."

"I thought you were dumping me... for having a knife kink."

He leaned forward, and grinned slightly.

"No, no. I am not dumping you. Never will, in fact. I mean it when it when I say you're mine. Forever."

You felt tears at the corners of your eyes as you processed his words.

"You...mean it?"

"Oh, of course I do. Which is why I've never used my knife on you. I wanted to make sure that you wanted me to cut you. Like I said before, scars are scars. They won't go away for a long time, and I just wanted to make sure that you would like them."

He finally wanted to use his knife on you. And the fact that he planned on being with you, not just as a casual thing, but being with you. You looped your arms around his neck as you let his speech soak in. No one had given themselves to you like this, and it felt euphoric that you finally had someone with as deep a connection to you as you did to them. He rubbed your back, holding your head on his shoulder. You could feel his hand nearly encasing your entire scalp, which did nothing but arouse you. You unraveled yourself from him but found your hair to be locked in a tight grip. He yanked your hair down, so that your neck was now exposed entirely to him. He ran his teeth over your throat, licking where it started to curve towards your chin. You gasped and gripped onto his shoulders as the hand that was massaging your back had snuck around to your front and began kneading your breast. You involuntarily ground down onto his lap, trying to get some relief. The hand holding your hair came down on your ass. You gasped, letting out a moan. He ran his teeth over your throat again, but this time deeper. He never broke skin, but he made sure to let you know that he could. He went back to toying with your breast, pinching and rolling the nipple through your shirt. Your clit felt like it was about to explode; it pounded harder than it ever had. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears as he leaned down to suck at your nipple. He had told you a while ago that he was exploring a potential lactation kink, which had turned you on to no end. You had always had smaller breasts, but you knew that regular feeding could enlarge them, which had made you that much hotter to yourself.

"James..." you moaned, "I don't think I can."

He let go of your nipple with a soft pop.

"What do you mean?"

"I've read that it can take hours for someone who hasn't given birth to actually produce anything."

"Well, do you have plans? 'Cause I sure as hell don't. Just this."

He returned to your puffy nipple, determined to get even the tiniest bit out of you. Hey, progress is progress.

Your hands roamed through his silvery hair, digging into his scalp whenever he would graze his teeth over the soft skin. You felt his rough hand slide over your breastbone; he was kneading the flesh. After what felt like only a few minutes, you felt a new, strange sensation. You went numb for a few seconds, but your nipple started to mildly tingle. You looked down to see the tiniest bit of white at the corner of his mouth. You nearly moaned at the sight of him. You messed with his hair as he continued. After a few minutes, he pulled away, continuing to rub your nipple with his thumb, soaking it in milk.

"Baby..." he breathed.

He leaned to kiss you, and you whimpered at the taste of yourself on his tongue. He pulled away, trailing back down to your breast. He sucked a hickey just to the right of your areola before continuing to milk you. You could hear him swallow every few seconds. It was only after your nipple was nearly sore that you noticed his hard-on. You didn't know how you had managed to ignore it for all this time; you were sitting right on top of him.

"Please...can I touch you?"

After a few seconds, he broke away and licked the overflow from his lips.

"As long as you be nice."

You reached your hand down, trailing your fingers along his tummy before resting your hand on his bulge. He moaned as you traced him through the denim, the vibrations sending chills down your spine. He pulled away so you could get off him, giving you easier access. He gasped through bared teeth as you unbuttoned his pants, relieving the pressure. You licked a narrow stripe from the base to the tip, licking up the precum that had gathered there. You licked the head once more before taking him in your mouth, not daring to bottom out on the first try. You worked your way down, pulling off and going deeper each time. He moaned as you brought a hand up to massage his sac. You snuck your fingers down just a half-inch lower, stroking his perineum.

"Fuck!" he yelled, pulling your hair.

"What the hell did I tell you?"

"To be nice," you said with a grin.

"Getting so close to my ass isn't exactly nice, is it?"

"I wouldn't be complaining."

"Yeah, we'll see how long you hold up."

He shoved his cock back into your mouth, groaning as you choked around him, your throat constricting.

"I'm gonna cum... Fuck! You want my cum in your pretty little mouth?"

You nodded as best you could, before picking up your pace, eager to have him fill you. He came as you bottomed out against him, swallowing as your nose touched his pelvis.

"Shit! Pretty mouths all filled up. Fuck, take it!"

He thrusted, earning him a loud gag from you as you choked on his cum. You swallowed again and again, draining him. He didn't stop until he could see his release dripping from the corners of your lips.

"Open."

You revealed your mouthful of cum to him, sticking out your tongue, letting some drip off the tip.

"Swallow."

It took a minute, but you managed to swallow all of it, licking your lips to get every last ounce. You opened your mouth again, showing him.

"That's my good girl."

You slumped against him, still lightheaded from his facefucking.

"Go get on the bed."

You walked excitedly back to his room. You had no idea what lie ahead, but you would embrace it with open arms. You laid down on the bed, feeling your shirt absorb what was leaking from your nipple. James came in after a few minutes, and you noticed the gleaming knife in his left hand. He crawled on the bed. He was on his hand and knees above you, tracing your hips with the point. You squealed as you felt the cold metal move along your waist.

"Now, you're going to do what I say, when I say it. Got it baby?"

"Mhm" you whined.

"Good girl."

You gasped as he sliced your shirt down the middle. The limp fabric was pulled back by his free hand, revealing your glistening breasts. Drops of white floated down your areola and onto your breastbone. He then sliced the arm of the shirt and stuffed it into your mouth.

"All mine, aren't you?"

You nodded, terrified. He was looking at you with a manic glare. You were terrified, and you loved it. He tossed the knife to the slide before sliding your leggings down your legs, tossing the pants to a corner. He picked up the knife again, trailing from your kneecap to the side of your panties. He flipped the knife around on your skin, cleanly slicing the lace. He took them in his hand, bringing them up to his nose before licking them right where your wetness had accumulated. He then gathered your wrists and tied the fabric around them.

"I know you like to get handsy, but if you're good, maybe I'll take these off early."

He tied a small bow before pushing you back against the headboard, so you were sitting up. He stood, walking over to the mirror directly in front of the bed. He smiled, then walked over to you, pulling your gag out.

"Such a pretty girl, huh? Who's girl are you?"

He took your jaw in his hand, forcing you to look at your reflection.

"I'm yours. All yours."

He smiled and leaned back, and you took the opportunity to look at yourself again. A hand came towards your cheek; first numbness, then pain. You tried to lean back before it could land, but you forgot that you were against a headboard. You could feel your cheek throb. You brought your hands up to it to try and soothe the pain, but your hands were met with his own. He grabbed your wrists and set them on your lap, before kissing the impact point. As he pulled away, you felt the very tip of his tongue stroke the already-visible bruise. He put your gag back in, tracing your bottom lip as he spoke.

"And don't you forget it."

You watched him walk to the front of the bed and strip. First his shoes, then his shirt, his pants, his socks, and finally his underwear. He was fully hard again, painfully hard. He gasped as the cold air hit his length. His cock was a combination of purple and red, and his balls looked excruciatingly tight. The tip was engorged, his slit leaking precum on the carpet. He crawled back on the bed, so that he was eye level with you. He kissed your cheek, his eyes almost apologetic. He slid himself back so that he was eye level with your heat. You were dripping onto the bedsheets, and your hole was clenching around nothing. He traced your labia with his pointer finger, teasing you. You moaned around the gag, tilting your hips forward. He smirked before slipping his finger into your hole. You whined as you fluttered around him.

"Who are you all wet for?"

"You!" you mumbled around the fabric. He inserted his middle and pointer in one sharp thrust, making you roll your eyes back. Every time he would pull them out, he would rub against the top of your hole, making you see stars. He darted his tongue out to wet his lips before latching onto your clit. You nearly screamed as he swiped his tongue over your clit while sucking on it. You came in no time flat. You convulsed on the bed as you released, screaming around the gag. He pulled himself over you, staring into your eyes as you recovered.

"All fucked out and I haven't even put my cock in you."

You watched him with misty eyes. He brought his hand down to his throbbing length and gave himself a few small pumps. He let out a groan and set his cock along your folds. He thrusted a few times, stimulating your oversensitive clit.

"You're gonna fuckn' kill me, y'know that?"

You giggled at his remark. He smirked at you before pulling back, and carefully inserting the head. The girth was almost too much. You could practically feel every vein running along the underside. He throbbed inside of you. You clenched at the feeling, earning you a gasp from him. He wore a look of rage before slapping the side of your breast, watching the skin ripple as you writhed beneath him. He picked up the blade and ran it down your chest, stopping at your navel. The knife left goosebumps in its wake. He lifted it and traced your left areola before trailing it to your throat, pressing.

"You have no idea how badly I've wanted to do this. Ever since we spoke for the first time, I knew I would fuck the light outta you while holding a knife to your gorgeous skin. Marking you as mine, with my cum and my blade. All mine."

He bottomed out on the first thrust, hitting your g-spot. You groaned at the contrast of the cool knife and his hot cock. You had acquired a thin sheen of sweat, both from premature exhaustion and fear. He began to ram into you, not caring if it hurt. You arched your back, pushing your chest closer to James'. He caught the stray drops of milk falling down your breast and quickened his pace. He had an iron grip on your waist, surely leaving a bruise. He hit your spot every single time, making sure to grind against your clit when he bottomed out. It felt like only a few minutes before you came again. He groaned as he neared his own sweet release, spurred on by your constricting hole and wanton moans. You stared at him through hooded eyes, almost communicating telepathically. He used his knife hand to pull your shirt arm out, soggy and damp with your spit.

"Unh...uh fuck! Jamie, Jamie please! Fuck I'm gonna...I'm gonna..."

You stopped midsentence as your eyes rolled back in your head. You convulsed wildly before squirting, soaking his abdomen and thighs. He came just by the sight alone. You weren't even coherent, just blubbering about how he felt so good. You clenched impossibly tighter around him, milking his balls of every last drop. You felt his cum fill your pained hole, felt him bottom out for the last time, grinding against your pelvis, making sure that he had made you give everything. You nearly blacked out. It took your entire being to stay conscious.

He took the knife from your throat before untying your hands. He whispered praises as he rubbed your sore wrists. He carefully pulled out, peppering kisses along your neck.

"I need you to do one more thing for me, sweet girl."

You were positioned at the edge of the bed, facing the mirror, with your back to his chest. You were sitting on his lap, his cock stretching your ass. When watching him stroke himself with lube, you ahd inquired as to why.

"You said you wouldn't complain. Breaking promises, now are we?"

You had refused, letting him penetrate your ass.

You held a vibrator to your clit, sobbing as the overstimulation consumed you. His arm was wrapped around the underside of your thighs, holding your thighs to your chest, your pussy on display. You could barely look in the mirror, your head not capable of rising that far. He was ghosting the blade along the underside of your thighs, deciding which one to cut. He eventually settled on your right one. Before he got to work, he held your head up with his left hand; he knew you couldn't do it on your own. You watched as he dug the blade into your skin. You moaned as you saw the blood drip thickly down your thigh. His eyes were fiery, his demeanor focused. You nearly screamed as he finished the curve on the J. He gave you some time to adjust before moving on to the H. He made slow, deep cuts, sure to leave scars. You had cum twice more with the vibrator, your cum and blood mixing on the towel beneath you. He ran his finger under the J, collecting as much blood as he could. He brought it up to his mouth and nearly came when he tasted you. Metallic and dark. Red and bitter. His favorite. He adjusted you so that you were farther back on the bed, giving him room to lay down. He lapped at your wounds, digging his tongue in slightly. He moaned as he cleaned you, awaiting the future, able to fuck you, able to spank you on his mark, able to remind you just who your holes belong to, who you belong to.

After he had applied a square bandage to your thigh, you sat with him in between his legs. His head rested on your shoulder as your arms crossed in front of you, holding his hands. UFO blared in the background, although neither of you cared much. You only cared about being with each other. That was all that mattered.

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WOW OKAY. *sobs, screams, dies* HOkay who let me have writing ability? I just wanna talk, I just wanna talk.

If you liked this, please comment and reblog! Comments mean more to me than you'll ever know, and so does sharing this with ur friends (online or real life). byeeee <3333

#metallica #james hetfield #papa het #james hetfield smut #james hetfield x reader #knifeplay #knife kink #blood kink #where tf do i sign up bro #over here shaking quaking screaming cumming sobbing throwing up #coming back to life #then dying again #lactating kink

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candyheartedchy · 6 months

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THEYRE HERE THEYRE HERE THE REAPERWIVES ARE REAL AND THEYRE CANON

I CAN NOT THANK YOU ENOUGH IVE LITERALLY BEEN THE EMBODIMENT OF THAT “ITS BEAUTIFUL IVE STARED AT IT FOR 5 HOURS NOW” MEME

AAAAAAAAAAAA THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUUUUU!!!!!!!!!

YOU’RE WELCOME!!!

I’m so happy you like the charm and that it made it to you safe and sound! :D

#💌 letters 💌#somethingscarlet13

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leechhearts · 2 years

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selfship blog is still on hiatus til i get around to fixing it so HIIII LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL ART MY BESTIE @druwsburner (@druwcapa on twt) MADE FOR ME!!!!! its so beautiful. ive been staring at it for 5 hours now

#selfshipping #self insert art #selfship #val tag #my wife looks sooo good in his style <3

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thoughts-and-all-that · 6 months

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you gave me the best weekend of my life, you know.

my dad was going on a business trip in a state that was right next to yours, though i remember it still took you guys 5 hours to drive to the city, and 9 hours for me and my family. isnt it crazy how big this country is? we arent even on the larger half of it, either.

when i first saw you, i was scared. i was paranoid and young, and you were the first person from online i had ever met in person, despite my years of befriending people online. im glad it was you. it couldnt have ever been anyone else.

i was scared maybe i was lied to, that somehow it wasnt you, but i knew it was. i was a scared mentally ill kid and i was in the beginnings of something we both know got worse, and ill never stop being sorry for how i treated you when it did. you never deserved that, and it was never your fault. i shouldnt have done what i did, i shouldnt have.

i remember that first while was awkward, but itd be weird if it wasnt, right?

our first stop had to have been the bird sanctuary, i believe. so many birds of all kinds, and there was even bats! both of our favorite animals in one building, though i dont think the specific breeds we loved. that was okay. it was my first and only time seeing my favorite animal in person, it was amazing.

i remember there was a flying simulator in there, a both high budget and low budget game, if that makes sense. i mean, we had to lay on a t shaped person sized controller, which was wild! but the actual graphics of the cityscape we were meant to fly through were low quality. it was amazing. i remember you crashed, but i didnt. ive always dreamt of being able to fly.

and i remember that the penguin habitat had a dome in the middle that people could climb through a small tunnel into, and we were in there together, and looking at the penguins.

it mustve been that night that you came back to my hotel room, and we watched my favorite show on the couch, using my much too expensive laptop. i remember the deal we made that i didnt keep up my end of, where we watched eachothers favorite shows. im sorry i didnt like yours. i was glad you loved mine.

i dont remember if we saw eachother for most of the next day, i hope we did. the timeline blurs for me, but thats okay, because the timeline isnt what matters.

the boat ride matters. i know i wasnt originally meant to go on it with you guys, but i hope you think of it fondly like i do regardless.

i didnt like really any of the food they put in front of us, but thats not new for me. it only mattered in that single moment when it happened. when dinner was over and everyone was free to go about the boat, we mustve seen so much of it.

your mom and my mom were talking the whole time, trying to keep an eye on us, and taking pictures of us. i hope my mom enjoyed the boat ride, she didnt get to have many experiences like that the last few years of her life. i hate that that only happened 3 years before she died, and its been almost 6 years for me. time is a curse.

we kept trying to avoid them at the time, of course. we were teenagers on a trip away from our homes on a boat ride together down a river, we didnt want our moms watching us. we had to keep traveling about until they finally stopped watching, and it led us to sitting on the top deck, staring off of into the beautiful night lights of that mountain city.

i even remember that at some point the announcer pointed out an abandoned asylum against the river, and we thought it was one that was featured on our favorite ghost hunting show, though i now believe that it wasnt, as when i tried to find it later, i couldnt find that episode. i love the excitement we had, though.

we talked so much, in our special way. i remember i even asked you such a silly question, if people could walk on water when time is stopped. they definitely cant, but we made a whole thing of it.

we even kissed a few times.

at some point we traveled back to the main hall, and it was empty except for the guy in charge of the music. we cuddled together on a seat against the window, watching the city go by. i remember i had you ask if he had any songs from one of my favorite artists, though he only had her most popular song, which i guess makes sense.

i dont think my mom wouldve been upset if she had seen us, but i know your mom wouldve been. does she still not know youre queer? she doesnt need to know, anyway.

you had to go back home after that night, and thats okay. i missed you so much when you did, and all i did for the remainder of the trip was sit in my hotel room and play on my laptop.

maybe its simple looking back, maybe youve had better times since, but for me it was everything. it still is, but only because ive never had better.

i still think of you when i hear breakup songs and think of relationships, even though we never dated. never the angry ones, i promise.

i know youve moved on, and im glad you have. youve been with him for a while, and i hope that means he treats you well. you deserve to be treated well.

i havent moved on because ive been stuck in the past in so many ways for years. when you started talking to me again a few months ago, it drove me insane for the first few weeks, but ive gotten better since. ive been dealing with my past a lot lately, trying to heal.

not heal from you, of course. you never did really anything to hurt me, it was all me. there was only one thing you ever said, but it was my fault it even came up. i know you dont even feel that way anymore.

i feel bad for my future partners, i wonder if they can even top that, honestly. i hope they do, because it would be weird if i constantly compared them to a relationship i had when i was a teenager, but i just wonder. i also dont want to have peaked back then.

but really, regardless of all of that, im glad it happened. ive had good memories and ive had tons of bad, but you gave me my best. youre the person ive been closest to in my life, ever. we arent close anymore, and we never can be again the way we used to be, but thats okay. as long as youre happy, thats okay. i hope i can be happy too.

thank you. for everything.

#personal #i dont want my memory to be lost to time #i want my memory to be immortal. to last forever

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vinnival · 3 years

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madcom tumblr rn ( in the best way possible )

#madness combat #HOMOSEXUAL HANK #madness project nexus #me watching the trailer like #its beautiful.... ive been staring at this for 5 hours now #me getting ready to cosplay hank for halloween: yes this is the perfect outfit to find refs off of

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madnessbrainworms · 3 years

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So I'm working on a project and I noticed something interesting about the portrait for shivers. Specifically the abstract portion inside of Shivers's head:

Is that... a building?

SOMETHING REACHING INTO THE BUILDING??

#disco elysium #shivers #IS THIS THE HOLE IN THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE???#IS IT PAINT FUMES? AM I FINALLY LOSING MY MIND??#i think i might be overthinking it but this portrait. Its beautiful. Ive stared at it for 5 hours now

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kiimmyko · 5 years

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✨🔥 Collab with @littlebluesaviour 🔥✨

They did all the colors and the bg while I did character lines!!

#miles tails prower #sonic the hedgehog #sonic #collab #its beautiful............... ive stared at it for 5 hours now

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cloudabserk · 5 years

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i know this is not why you all follow me but i was buying miniature hidden knives as christmas presents for my little brother and lesbian best friend and i found maybe my favorite review ever. good to know. here’s the other knife i bought my brother btw:

it’s a dragon! everyone go watch jenny nicholson’s new video thank you and goodnight

#not art #personal?#d slur #idk #ive been staring at that drawing of r + e + e for 5 hours now. its so beautiful #also my final was very fun and nice!!#i dont care about star wars and ive never seen it but i will watch every one of her videos on it anyway

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alamhigyoooo · 4 years

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man do u ever just think abt putting your ocs in ff7 gear and then it happens? the remake hype is REAL

artwork done by @isshjarta, featuring our friend's oc kies as aerith, his boy za'an as tifa, and my girl hallura as cloud!

#ffxiv #fanart #ffvii #ffxiv oc #hallura kaine #commission #za'an arkands #kies qalli #me @ this image like #ive stared at this for 5 hours now #its beautiful

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felassan · 6 years

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a very important life update: so yesterday I caught my second ever (randomly encountered!!) shiny Pokémon out the blue when I was playing Sun.. world, meet shiny Pikipek ✌( ˃̣̣̥ω˂̣̣̥ )

#its beautiful #ive been staring at this for 5 hours now #my first ever random shiny was a few years ago #a tentacool #this is a v v importante news bulletin #thanku for ur attention #mj and the world #video games

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angstysebfan · 3 years

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The Past Can Break You - 4

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

AU: Avengers

Summary: You and Bucky have been dating for aa few years. As far as you’re concerned he is the one. But what happens when a blast from the actual past shows up?

A/N: Ive seen a lot stories of Bucky getting his first love from the 40′s back. And I’ve always wondered... what would happen if he was dating someone already? Reader is from this time. Not proofread.

Warning: honestly probably not the best ive written... sorry

It’s been almost a week since you told Bucky you needed space. You have barely come out of your room, because you didn’t want to see him, and especially her. You wonder if this is really the end of your relationship. You are grateful that he has given you space, and according to Nat, he hasn’t gone near Dot. Dot has been spending a lot of time down in the lab with Tony. Wanting to learn about technology. Good luck to her.

Over the last few days you have been waking up to soft knocking on your door. You go to open the door and find a single red rose with no note. You figure it is Bucky, and while it makes your heart flutter, you force yourself to leave in on your dresser. As you walk down to the kitchen to eat breakfast you see Nat sitting at the counter.

“Morning, Nat,” you say quietly.

She smiles softly at you, “Morning. How are you feeling?” she asks.

You shrug as you continue making your coffee and grab your fixings for cereal. When you turn around you see Bucky sleepily walk into the kitchen. You look at the bags under his eyes and he stops short and stares at you. You feel your heart break when you know that he doesn’t sleep well without you.

“Morning, Doll,” he says, completely ignoring Nat’s existence.

“Good morning Bucky,” you say. You decide to take your breakfast to go and shuffle around him as he walks further into the room. You stop and turn to look at him again, “Thank you for the roses. They are beautiful, “ you say before leaving.

Bucky sighs heavily when you leave and looks at Nat. “God I hope this works. I can’t live like this much longer, Nat. I miss her so goddamn much,” he says as he puts his face in his hands.

“Barnes man up. This will work. She commented on the roses. She is hurt and doesn’t trust you, which you can’t blame her for. But the fact that she thanked you, tells me that she appreciates you putting in the effort. It’s time to do this. Let her know that you are serious about making her a priority. Now I bought everything. You go get ready and I will get her there, okay?” She says.

Bucky nods and heads out of the kitchen to get ready. He hopes that this will work. He is hoping that if anything it will show you how much he loves you and how much he wants to be with you. But he would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous that you will reject him also. But Nat seems to think this will work, so we will see.

You are sitting on your bed, watching Netflix when there is a knock on your door. You call for them to enter and see Nat walk through the door. She walks over and sits on your bed.

“Hey honey, how are you holding up?” she asks as she sits.

You shrug, hugging yourself. “I-I miss him. But I’m still mad at him. But I want to talk to him. But I’m scared that it will end,” you say.

Nat pulls you into a hug, “Honey, I promise he has been moping in his room all week. I don’t think he has gone near her once. Steve has been watching over her, and she has been spending a lot of time in the lab, which is weird, but whatever. He told her he was done and he meant it. Talk to him,” she says.

You can’t help the tears, “Has be been... okay?” you ask.

“He misses you. He wants to make it up to you. Are you ready to hear him out, and have a conversation with him?” Nat asked.

You sigh and think about whether or not you are ready. You look at her and node slowly, causing her to smile. “Good. I was hoping that would be your answer. Now get up and put...” she ran to the bedroom door and grabs a box from the hallway she left there, bringing it back to the bed. “This on. I’ll meet you in the garage in 1 hour,” she says before leaving. You open the box and gasp.

When Nat pulls up to the edge of Central Park, you look at her in question. She nods telling you to go ahead. You get out of the car and start walking down the path. As you get closer to the clearing, you hear light music. You continue walking and finally enter the clearing where you recognize you had your first date with Bucky. You look around and see roses everywhere and candles, along with music.

Finally your eyes meet Bucky, who is standing in the middle of open space. He is wearing a navy blue suit, that matches your navy blue dress that Nat gave you. He has shaved his beard to some light scruff, that makes you swoon. His hair is cut short, and looks so soft. You see he is nervous as he waits for you to make a move.

“Hi Bucky,” you say.

He sighs and gives you a small smile, “Hi baby. I’m glad you came,” he says as he steps up to you with another rose in his hand.

He hands it to you, which causes you to smile, “Well Nat didn’t exactly give me much of a choice,” you say.

He laughs, “Yea, she has been helping me set up all of this. I’m so glad you are here. I-I wanted to... I... Baby, I can’t even find the words to apologize for being such an ass. But I’m done. I told Dot she had to deal with things herself. I told her that you were the one I want. And, I haven’t seen her since. I know that it will take a lot more than a date and begging to get you to forgive me, but I hope that we can recreate our first date because I fell in love with you that night. Not that I am expecting anything, but I owed you, and--”

You cut Bucky off with you lips slotting on his. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you impossibly close. “Bucky, I’m ready to talk. I’m ready to fix this. I’ve missed you. I love you so much, and the fact that you are doing all of this, means so much to me. This isn’t going to fix everything, but I’m ready to talk,” you say.

Bucky leads you to the table and you both sit and talk about the situation. You talk about your fears and how you felt when Dot arrived. You expressed how his actions affected you, and Bucky took everything in stride. When you finally finished going through everything, Bucky then told you how the last thing he wanted was to hurt you. He felt that he owed it Dot, because he knows how scary it is to wake up in a different time. And while he used to have love for Dot, the moment he met you and started to date you, Dot no longer held his heart. Only you.

He told you that he will never put anything ahead of you or your relationship again. After you both agreed you will move back into your room, but Bucky still has a lot of things to make up for. You then danced the night away under the stars. You both eventually make your way back to your shared apartment. Bucky surprised you with new lingerie, the same pair he ruined that night. You got a redo of that date night, and this time, Bucky made sure you had several more orgasms, before finishing himself. No interruptions, no ex’s, just the two of you reclaiming your love on each other.

Dot had been trying to figure out what she could do to split you and Bucky up for good. She knew you would be pathetic and fall for his charms again, just like all the girls from back in the day. She had to step up her game in this century though, and who better to learn from then one of the smartest men who happen to live in the compound also.

She started to spend time with Tony to learn the ins and outs of technology in the 21st century. He also taught Dot how utilize FRIDAY. showed her all the fun and cool thing that no one cared to know. Dot made sure she seemed completely excited and interested, which helped Tony’s ego and gave her more information. Eventually Dot figured out something that she could use.

She smiled when she saw both you and Bucky going into shared apartment after your date. While she hated the idea of you and Bucky together, she knew that she could use her new knowledge against you. And now was the perfect time to put that in motion.

Chapter 3 / Chapter 5

Not 100% how I feel about this chapter. I felt like it was getting too long so I cut it, but maybe I shouldn’t have. So I’m sorry if it’s not as good. But DRAMA ALERT!! What is Dot going to do? Feedback is appreciated!

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#bucky #Bucky Barnes #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes angst #Bucky angst #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky x dot

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