#its always there and i will always love it!!
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milkyxstar · 2 days ago
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The people’s Princess
Made a compilation of (most of) Dennis' gay mannerisms bc I had to get it out of my system
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nereidprinc3ss · 3 days ago
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in infinite universes
in which spencer reid picks up uni!reader from a party. you're drunk, and he's in love with you
fluff:) warnings/tags: established relationship, fem!reader, university!reader x professor!spencer but you're not his student, unspecified age gap, um statistic about deaths from drunk driving, spencer is a nerd a/n: this is accidentally so romantic I'm gonna puke
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The night is chilly—a still, dry type of cold that comes before snowfall. It’s quiet, like the world is preparing for that heavy blanket of white. Even the pounding bass from the frat house doesn’t make it very far before falling flat at the end of the yard. By the time Spencer gets you to his car down the block, it’s a thready pulse. 
“Thanks for walking me,” you say, giving him a saccharine smile as he opens the passenger door for you. His scoff is a thick white cloud, crystallizing against cold, shining skin, slightly pinkened from the temperature. Spencer is glowing like a star tonight. You don’t know if it’s the blurriness from the alcohol in your system smudging the edges of him, or if it’s just that incandescent halo that always seems to follow him around.
“You know I wasn’t going to let you walk down frat row by yourself at one in the morning.”
You pout and look up at him, leaning close. 
“So you don’t want me to say thank you?” 
Spencer’s mouth is curved in absent-minded affection as he takes advantage of the opportunity to study you up close with darting eyes, entertaining your girlish flirtation, and you in turn get to admire the starlit flush of his cheeks, the way his hair falls around his face and thick eyelashes frame irises that could melt ice. You’re not entirely conscious of the huge grin that cracks open your face, but you suspect its presence when his own lips part, still smiling, like he’s maybe going to say something sweet. Or teasing. 
“You’re drunk.”
At this absolute and unarguable truth, you frown. He’s grinning now as he adjusts the thick scarf around your neck, shielding your ears and neck further from the chill that the open car door can’t block. 
“No I’m not.”
“C’mere,” he murmurs, and before you can process it he’s leaning down, so of course your eyes are going to flutter shut and of course you’re going to kiss him back. The gentle ferocity of it only has you stumbling in place a little bit, and he steadies you with hands around your waist. It’s over entirely too soon. You blink up at him, your shock and fluster betrayed by the visible huff of air dispelled as soon as he pulls away. He’s smiling even wider now. Vindicated. Eyes sparkling. “Gin? Wow. You are drunk.”
It takes you a moment longer than it usually would to decipher how he figured this out. 
“So you just kissed me to prove your theory right?”
The sparkling satisfaction from his indictment softens around his eyes. 
“I knew you were drunk when you almost fell down the stairs a minute ago. The kiss was purely selfish.”
“It’s icy,” you defend, and your heart flutters as he comes in for another kiss. It’s soft and still shockingly deep for being on the street, where anyone could see—although everyone smart is inside, and anyone else is too drunk to care that his mouth is open against yours and the heat of it is translating deep in your stomach. You’re dizzy by the time he laughs quietly against you. 
“What college student is pounding gin and tonics at a frat party?”
The thick wool of his coat bunches under your searching fingers. 
“Me,” you whisper. “I was classing up the joint.”
The final kiss he presses to your lips is sweeter and half smile. “Drunk.”
The murmured accusation shouldn’t make you feel so giddy. Maybe it’s all the gin. 
“Not.”
Another little chuckle warms the tip of your nose and your lips as he breathes it out.
“So you’re good to drive us home?”
You itch to kiss him again, but instead, you respond, “One person dies every thirty nine minutes in America from drunk driving.”
“Good job. You passed.”
The praise is accompanied by a thumb rubbing at your hip through denim. He probably thought you weren’t listening when he’d spouted that particular statistic a few hours ago. 
“Do I get a gold star?”
He kisses your head. 
“We’ll see. Get in.”
On the way home, that last shot hits you. You slump down in your seat and hide your face in your hands. 
“Oh, Spencer. I’m… I’m drunk.”
You feel him glancing at you before he sets a concerned hand on your thigh. 
“You okay?”
Morosely you nod. 
“Yeah. I took a shot with this… Delta Phi Epsilon guy, right before you got there. I wasn’t gonna, but he was like, no, you have to! And now I realize that was dumb.”
Spencer’s hand finds the back of your head, stroking your hair. 
“Do you know what I’m going to say about frat boys pressuring you to drink?”
“It wasn’t like that. He was really nice.”
“I’m sure he was,” Spencer says dryly. “Lots of men become really nice when they think they might have something to gain.”
“I thought he was gay!” You laugh, uncovering your face. “Sorry, dad. I won’t drink alcohol or talk to boys anymore.”
Spencer makes a face and you know you’ve successfully traded pounds of flesh. 
“If you call me dad again I’m making you take an abnormal psych class.”
You give him a lazy smile which he only takes his eyes off the road for a few seconds to admire. 
“I’d take abnormal psych if you were my professor.”
That perpetual upturn at the corners of his perfect mouth flickers wider. 
“Wow. Does gin make you sexually frustrated?”
“It makes me lazy. The professor-student thing is really low hanging fruit.”
“Yeah, it is. You know I’ll expect better material from you once you’ve sobered up.”
You sigh and let your head loll to the front again, studying the tunneling road through the windshield. A few flakes slash the headlights. Your mind wanders. You don’t bother reeling it in. 
“I’m really glad I’m not your student. I’d have the worst crush on you.”
Spencer casts you another side-long glance before adjusting the rear-view mirror. 
“You don’t have a crush on me now?”
“Of course I do. But you like me back. If I was your student you’d never look at me like that. I would just have to pine after you and fall in deep unrequited love like all your other female students.”
He hums skeptically. 
“I don’t know what I’d do. I can’t imagine not being in love with you.”
“There are universes where you’re not. There are infinite realities where I am your student and you don’t like me back and you’re dating other girls who aren’t me and you’re saying this exact stuff to them.”
“True. There are also infinite realities where I find you and I fall in love with you.” Spencer reaches over again, taking your hand and settling them, joined, in your lap. “For each trillionth of a billionth of a second of the life I’ve lived thus far, there are infinite universes which exist solely so I can fall in love with you in a new way. Over and over again. There’s not a choice I could make in any timeline, or in any universe, that doesn’t lead an infinite number of me’s to an infinite number of you’s.” 
The engine hums. The tires roll. 
Other than that—it’s dead silent. 
Because how could he ever expect anyone to respond to that?
You slink low in your seat and bring his hand to cradle your face, warm against your cheek. 
“I hate you,” you mumble. Spencer strokes your jaw absentmindedly, not at all concerned by your dramatics. 
“You hate me? I just said I love you.”
“No, you did not. You said th—I don’t even wanna call it romantic. Romantic doesn’t—I don’t even know what that was. You can’t just say things like that, Spencer! You can’t just casually say stuff like that to me, and especially not when I’m drunk, because I’m gonna start crying!” 
The last word pitches up and perfectly illustrates your point as tears begin to roll down your cheeks—still nipped by the cold. 
Spencer quickly pulls the car off to the side of the abandoned road. 
He’s all affection as he twists to face you and take your face in his hands properly, thumbing away tears. 
“What? What’s wrong?” 
“You j-just love me so much,” you sob.
“Yes,” Spencer laughs like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “I do. I love you so much. I didn’t mean to make you cry, sweetheart.”
“You—you don’t even realize, that you said the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to anyone, and you love me more than anyone’s ever loved anyone, and—and—”
You cut yourself off with another hot wave of tears and a shuddering cry. 
“Oh, my girl,” Spencer coos through an adoring little laugh as he pushes hair out of your face. “You are so drunk, baby. Come here.”
You let him undo your buckle and pull you across the console-less seat (thank you, vintage car) into his arms. For a minute or two you can hardly speak, crying into the warmth of his jacket as he holds you. 
Eventually, you manage to raise your head and pull back enough to look at him. Immediately he’s assessing you with those soft eyes, watching how you wipe away whatever tears didn’t soak into his clothing. Under his watchful gaze, you exhale a sniffing laugh. 
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.”
It’s so immediate you’re knocked off balance again. “Well—you were just being nice, and I—”
“I do love you more than anyone has ever loved anyone.”
Usually, you dislike being interrupted. 
In this instance, you’ll let it slide. 
It’s simply too earnest, too honest as his eyes dart between yours like he couldn’t contain it. Like you said it and the thought struck him right in the face—an obvious truth he hadn’t considered before. 
“In infinite universes?” You sniffle. 
“In infinite universes,” he agrees. 
Both of you notice the snow has started to come down outside. Over the course of a few silent minutes, it gets heavier and heavier—a soft hail, sheets of whispering white. 
You’ve never been afraid to break the silence with him. 
But maybe if you weren’t drunk you could keep your questions to yourself. 
“How many snowflakes are we looking at?”
Spencer hesitates, drawn from some kind of hypnosis. 
“Hard to be sure. Heavy snowfall like this could easily put us at six inches within the hour. In that case we’ve watched around point two inches fall. Visibility is probably reduced to about a quarter mile… point two inches across a square quarter mile is a hundred and seventeen thousand five hundred square feet of snow, average density of flakes at this temperature being about three kilograms per cubic foot of snow, and a snowflake weighs maybe… point zero zero zero zero zero two kilograms, so, roughly… very roughly… we’re looking at one hundred and forty two million snowflakes. That’s my best guess.”
You look up at him from where you’d been resting your head on his shoulder. 
“You’re the coolest person ever.”
He blushes. 
Tries to reply. 
Looks back out the window and huffs a nervous laugh, like you’ve flustered him. 
“Lots of people could do that. The math isn’t too complicated. It’s also probably wrong.”
A slow smile blossoms on your face. 
“You’re never wrong. So… what percentage of infinity is a hundred and forty two million?”
“Uh… undefined,” he laughs, looking back down at you. “But… in tangible terms, which is inherently contradictory because infinity is completely intangible, and actually pretty meaningless to mathematicians—more of a philosophical concept than a numerical one… it is a very small fraction. It’s nothing.”
“I don’t want philosophical,” you murmur, reaching up to graze your knuckles along his cheekbone. “I want hard numbers.”
He catches your hand and holds the tips of your fingers to his lips as he thinks, watching hundreds of millions of snowflakes falling from the wide black heavens through narrowed eyes. 
“A googol is written as a one followed by a hundred zeros, and a googolplex is a one followed by a googol of zeros. That’s the largest named number we have. It surpasses the estimated number of atoms in the universe. It’s too large to conceptualize. Mathematicians don’t really have any practical use for numbers above one trillion, but the largest number you’ll find in a dictionary and which might be formally accredited is a centillion, which is a one followed by three hundred and three zeros. It’s bigger than a googol but hardly a fraction of a googolplex. But—okay, we’re setting aside the conceptual numbers. What was your question?”
Your head spins as you laugh. 
Too much gin. Too many IQ points. 
“Infinity divided by, uh… the number of snowflakes I can see right now.”
The engine is still on—heat blows steadily, warming your arm through a coat and sweater, and whatever it can’t reach is warmed by Spencer. 
“Right. Okay. Well—to put it into perspective, with snowflakes, you have around one septillion that fall each year. That’s twenty four zeros, so… a lot. Are you with me?”
“No.”
“Great. So, a hundred and forty two million is basically infinity.”
This earns a clumsy, drunken laugh from you, and he smiles like he’d been hoping for that. 
It’s so warm in the cab of his car. It’s so warm under his gaze. 
Outside, the snow continues to fall. 
For each flake, there is a world where you and Spencer fall in love. And in the grand scheme of things, you’re not looking at very many. 
In infinite universes, you’ll find each other. For eternity. 
You’d be happy with just this one. 
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kianamaiart · 2 days ago
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tattoo tour!
got some asks about my own tattoos! i've talked about em on my other blog but not here i think
opihi shell
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this was my first tattoo! when i was little, my grandma would call me her "little opihi" because i'd stick by her side all the time and i thought it'd be an appropriate and meaningful tattoo to get.
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team rocket rose
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another tattoo i designed along with @/loinktattoos on insta. dedicated to my love for jessie, james and meowth. it's a rose with a blast off star and a "TR" in the leaf~
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tsuta mon
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my japanese side of the family's crest! my brother, mom and i all have it~
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lignum vitae flower
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a tattoo of jamaica's national flower to celebrate my jamaican heritage. tattooed by @/loinktattoos and designed by @/sablingart on twitter
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doughnut
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it's the doughnut from the kpop girl group twice's song "doughnut" LOL. it's maybe my favorite song ever (?). they also raaarely play their japanese songs outside of japan but i got to hear it live and it solidified my love for the song
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arbok tattoo
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much like how i love team rocket, i love arbok. i sometimes draw jessie with an arbok marking tattoo on her chest and i considered doing that too but doing it on my wrist seemed like a nice placement. plus i can make my hand look like a snake and i think that's fun
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brushstroke tattoo
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my first purely aesthetic tattoo and also my biggest piece! i found @/reina.asami's work on instagram and instantly fell in love with their style. a lot of their work centers around japanese culture and specifically japanese american culture. i had such a lovely conversation with them about being mixed and my experiences. we also talked about the irony of honoring our japanese heritage with tattoos haha
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botan hanafuda card
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one of my favorite games to play with my grandparents on my japanese side is hanafuda! i've always loved how pretty the cards looks and all the different flowers. each suit corresponds to a month and the botan is for june (my birth month)
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bat
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i like bats hehe. i had a tattoo themed birthday party last year where my friends made "kiana themed" tattoos and we put them on temporary tattoo sheets. but also @/loinktattoos was there to give anyone who wanted a real tattoo a real tattoo. and i got a bat designed by one of my best friends @/ghostbri, who shares my love of bats~
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botan
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i came across @/miyookstatto's instagram a while back and reaaaally wanted a tattoo from her at some point. problem was she was based in seattle. however! i had a wedding in seattle coming up and tried to see if i could book an appointment the day i landed and she happened to have a spot open!
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wobbuffet
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my most recent tattoo and maybe one of the most special. my brother and i have been wanting matching tattoos for yeaaaars but couldn't really think of anything to get. our love for pokemon was always something we had in common but he models and can't have anything copyrighted on his body. however, one of his favorite pokemon is ditto and i got the idea to just do its face because you could argue that it's just a smiley haha. so i decided to get just a wobbuffet face to match! what made it special is that we were able to tattoo each other! he did stick and poke for mine and i got to use a machine which was rad.
that's all for now!! i want more so badddd. definitely want a back piece at some point and would also love to get a little shooting star to commemorate making "i don't want to be a magical girl"
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checkeredflagggs · 2 days ago
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Money Bags
pairing: sugar relationship!charles leclerc x fem!reader
summary: everyone is pretty sure charles has a sugar baby girlfriend — why else would she be posting so many photos of gifts?
a/n: the start of my week of romance! This was requested by a lovely anon and I hope you like it!
a/n2: I don’t know any actual shops or restaurants in Monaco so generic names it is! Please pretend it’s those exclusive places for the rich and famous. I also don’t know what type of Ferrari it is 🤷🏻‍♀️
Masterlist | Taglist
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Bluesky
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user1: …so it’s definitely charles and his girlfriend right?
↳user2: honestly they might as well as posted their faces
↳user1: Right? Like it’s so obvious
user3: you know you can just write their names? It’s definitely leclerc and his new girl
↳user4: it’s hilarious to me that they think it’s a secret?
↳user3: seriously! It’s been nonstop photos of gifts and trips and fancy dinners since they got together
user5: you mean charles and his gold digger?
↳user6: usually I wouldn’t promote that kind of language but in this case…
↳user7: I agree — she’s gonna drain him dry and move on to someone else to do the same
user8: don’t be coy deuxmoi — just say its the gold digger and charles leclerc…
↳user9: 😂😂
cl_gossip
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liked by user, user, user and 982,349 others
tagged: charles_leclerc, yourusername
cl_gossip: shocking absolutely no one — this Valentine’s Day is going to be a bank-braker. This massive bouquet was seen heading into Leclerc’s apartment building
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user10: 😂😂😂 god just keep roasting her
user11: honestly how long does she think it’ll last when she blows his money so fast??
user12: … 😱 …🙄🙄🙄
user13: what a slut honestly.
user14: my money is she moves on to max next…
↳user15: oh same
↳user16: ohh that would be an ideal threesome…
↳user15: seriously?
↳user16: am I wrong?
↳user14: …no I guess not
user17: tagging them though…
↳user18: right? I could never…
↳user17: I hesitate to even comment sometimes and they’re just out here tagging them on a post that’s dragging his girl…
↳cl_gossip: sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do
cl_gossip
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liked by user, user, user and 992,184 others
tagged: charles_leclerc, yourusername
cl_gossip: continuing with the apparent theme of the day — Charles and y/n were seen Bijouterie Jewelry Store, which is one of the most exclusive jewelry stores in the continent
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user20: wow…a new way to spend Charles’ money
↳user21: Jesus leave them alone
↳user20: we’re just calling it like we see it
↳user21: you’re just being a bitch
user22: oh to have a boyfriend like Charles to spoil you…
↳user23: right? Ignoring everything above — she’s got the jackpot. He’s so attractive, kind, seemingly caring, and rich?
↳user22: I’m so jealous
user24: man I’ve always wanted to go to Bijouterie Jewelry Store…
↳user25: same! I’ve seen pictures but I just know the aura of the place is unmatched
user26: leave the drivers and their personal lives alone challenge FAILED
↳user27: oh thank god I’m not the only one to think that
↳user26: they’re famous yes but we don’t need to know everything about their personal lives — and they have the right to privacy!
cl_gossip has posted a story, yourusername has posted 2 stories
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[I don’t even know where to begin with this one…that is a mega yacht —not one of Charles’…][ today is only the best ♥️ | what a lovely lunch with charles_leclerc ♥️♥️♥️]
user28 replied GOLDDIGGER!
user29 replied god leave them alone
user30 replied what a bitchy move
user31 replied Charles please RUN
charles_leclerc replied Mon soleil, aujourd'hui a déjà été le plus beau jour de ma vie...My sunshine, today has already been the best day of my life...
↳yourusername Attendez, car ce n'est pas encore fini! Just you wait then because it's not over yet!
↳charles_leclerc mon soleil…my sunshine
↳yourusername 🥰🥰🥰
francisca.cgomes replied you guys are setting the bar absurdly high…
↳yourusername of course 🥰
↳yourusername but just say the word and we can run away baby
↳francisca.cgomes 🤯🤯🤯
pierregasly replied stop trying to steal my girlfriend
↳yourusername never
↳pierregasly 🙄😑
user32 replied jealousy activated oh my god…
user33 replied i want your life…
user34 replied please post some more photos of Charles queen!
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, francisca.cgomes, pierregasly, and 2,923,91: others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: a new car and still a passenger princess 👑
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charles_leclerc: Je ne le ferais pas autrement, mon soleil. I wouldn’t have it any other way, my sunshine
↳yourusername: 😍😍😍
user36: RUN CHARLES
this comment has been deleted
user37: a whore and a gold digger…
this comment has been deleted
lilymhe: the prettiest passenger princess ever
↳yourusername: no that’s you!
↳alex_albon: why must you always flirt with our girlfriends?
↳pierregasly: i know
↳francisca.cgomes: 😘
↳yourusername: stop having such babes for girlfriends then? liked by lilymhe, francisca.cgomes
↳alex_albon: 🙄🙄
user38: he bought her a BRAND NEW FERRARI???
↳user39: I’ve never been so jealous of a bitch in my life
user40: ok but is anyone gonna say anything about the FUCKING HUGE ASS pile of gifts?
↳user41: I KNOW! Like damn…
↳yourusername: spoiling is the name of the game girlies…
↳user40: are you guys looking for a third? A maid? A dog? liked by yourusername
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, and 3,128,183 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: a last minute trip with my baby…
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charles_leclerc: ♥️♥️♥️
↳yourusername: my love 🥰
user42: leo!
↳user43: always a good day with a leo leclerc picture liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc
oscarpiastri: have a good trip dad!
↳charles_leclerc: thank you son!
↳yourusername: …yeah no. Thanks though osc! liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri
maxverstappen1: Air Max is still better
↳yourusername: stop being jealous!
↳maxverstappen1: 😑
↳charles_leclerc: mon soleil…
user49: god imagine being so entitled that you demand an expensive trip…
↳yourusername: lol
↳charles_leclerc: 😂
↳user50: ok but what does this mean…
charles_leclerc
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liked by yourusername, arthur_leclerc, pierregasly, and 2,723,183 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: Mon soleil, tu as mon cœur et mon âme depuis le jour où je t'ai vu pour la première fois. Je t'aime infiniment, avec ferveur, vraiment. Votre beauté, votre gentillesse, votre générosité sont exceptionnelles. Merci pour cette journée si merveilleuse aujourd'hui. Je n'aurais jamais cru qu'être gâté était si agréable.
My sunshine, you have my heart and soul and have since the day i first saw you. I love you endlessly, fervently, truly. Your beauty, your kindness, your generosity is outstanding. Thank you for such a wonderful day today. I never knew that being spoiled felt so good.
(Also stay mad and stay jealous but mon soleil is not the sugar baby in this relationship ☺️)
comments have been restricted on this post
yourusername: Charles my love…
yourusername: you cannot imagine how happy you make me everyday
yourusername: meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me
↳charles_leclerc: Mon soleil…🥹🥰♥️
yourusername: oh and to those judging us? Definitely stay mad and jealous
Taglist
@anamiad00msday @suns3treading @daniskywalkersolo @awritingtree @justheretoreadthxxs @coral7161 @lost4lyrics @mastermindbaby @freyathehuntress @voidvannie @sturmatt @nichmeddar @mxm47max @justaf1girl @a-beaverhausen @tallrock35 @elizamoe133 @imlonelydontsendhelp @jessica3478
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rosinasnoot · 13 hours ago
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I love this. This is a beautiful showcase of an idea I try to keep close, done through a metaphor that uses my favorite animal.
“What would it take for that to be me?” is such an important question to ask to get along with people who are different in ways you disapprove of. What would it take for me to not shower for a week? What would it take for me to get sucked into a cult? What would it take for me to lose everything I have and end up on the streets?
And sometimes the question is one where in the metaphor you’re part of the flock and can hate with abandon (“What would it take for me to become an incel?” “What would it take (or what would it have taken) for me to hate X group?” and so on don’t apply to everyone), but it’s also important to be aware when someone you know is the sheepdog watching everyone else celebrate the wolf’s downfall and thinking, “That could have been me. It would have been so easy for you to hate me like you hate him.”
The wolf, given food, can be kind. The sheepdog, in its absence, can be cruel, for he is not fundamentally different from the wolf. The human, with all their nuance and baggage, can always choose redemption or corruption. The human does not get to claim that they are cruel by nature, incapable of change, and likewise they are not forced to stay on the path that they have chosen and they are not defined by their past.
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© pet_foolery
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salemrph · 22 hours ago
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Sleepy morning with Sylus
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A/N: While I was reading some other posts yesterday, I came across a user asking what it would be like to wake up next to Sylus. My imagination jumped on it right away! I would say this is more of a headcanon than a fanfic. I focused more how he would experience it. Short write, just because I'm working on other stuff.
Character: Sylus & Reader/MC/you
Genre: romantic, fluffy
Word count: 1,430 | Reading Time: 5 min
Background music
Your laughter echoes through his bedroom as you try to break free from his grip, his breath tickling your skin. His arms are wrapped tightly around you, pressing himself against your naked body. You smell incredible, so intoxicatingly good that waking up next to you must be heaven on earth.
You squirm and kick, already in tears from laughing so hard. He can't get enough of that sound, of the way you smile, the way you close your eyes and lean your head back. Your presence is like a flowerbed in full bloom, vibrant and breathtaking. Blooming in its full splendor.
Whenever he can, he admires you. When you sleep, he counts the moles on your body, tracing them with his fingertips. He caresses the scars you've earned as a fierce Hunter, kissing every natural fold of your skin. His touch follows the curve of your back, the delicate shape of your ass, down to your legs. The same legs that always wrap around him in the intensity of passion.
He loves you, more than he could ever show to you. It wouldn't be enough, ever.
"Sylus—"  you gasp between laughs, struggling against him as your muscles start to cramp.
"You have so much energy, kitten" you keep laughing, you are so ticklish this morning. His nose brushes against your neck before he nips at your skin, placing lazy kisses along your shoulder.
You squirm even more, still breathless from laughter. "I will pee myself... Stop!"
He hums against your skin, only tightening his hold. He isn't really awake, he wants to keep sleeping, enjoying the peaceful morning with you. Sylus has worked hard to clear his schedule, to be with you like this. To adapt to your routine, make breakfast, and simply enjoy a normal day at your side.
"Then pee..."  he teases. 
"Gross! Let go." You protest, thoroughly disgusted by his suggestion.
"Not even in dreams, sweetie" he chuckles while still kissing your shoulder.
"Sy..." you whine. That tone, the way you try to get your way putting that face, that tone in your voice. The one that makes his heart melt no matter how much he tries to resist. He growls, reluctant to release you completely. His grip tightening for a moment before he finally exhales and relaxes.
"Go. You have 2 minutes to come back". 
You waste no time jumping out of bed, only to earn a slap on your ass.
"Hey!" You spin around, shooting him a glare. Sylus only smirks.
"I like how it wiggles"
You disappear in the bathroom. Sylus shifts onto his back, crossing both arms behind his head, staring at the ceiling with a rare sense of peace. Yeah… he could get used to this. No, he wants to get used to this. The wealth he possesses and everything he has done has been nothing more than a way to ensure your safety. The years he spent searching for you taught him that he had to be prepared for anything. Losing you again was not in his plans. And if the day ever comes when you no longer love him, it won’t change a thing. He would still protect you, even from the shadows.
He’s so lost in thought that he doesn’t notice you sneaking back into bed. Carefully, you inch closer, suppressing a grin as you reach out to poke his cheek. But before you can even make contact, his hand shoots out, catching your wrist in a firm grip.
"Feeling playful this morning, my love?"
"Just a bit" you smirk. Sylus laughed.
"What do you want to play?" You tilt your head, pausing deliberately as your eyes drift over his bare chest, trailing down to his toned abs. The sheets rest low on his hips, and the way you’re looking at him doesn’t go unnoticed. He knows that look.
With effortless ease, he shifts, pulling you toward him until you land on top of his body.
His fingers brush a stray strand of hair from your face, his touch lingering. The color of your lips is already beautiful, but he loves it even more when they darken after passionate kisses. His lips part slightly, his gaze locked onto yours, mesmerized by the infinite depth of your shining eyes.
You lean in, pressing tender kisses across his face before finally finding his lips. Your entire body relaxes, melting into him. Savoring the slow movement of your mouth. Heat growing in your body. Between you two. The kiss deepens bit by bit, his tongue tracing your lips, later moving beyond, slipping inside, tasting you. You sigh into him, already lost in the spreading feelings of longing.
His hand has already trapped you. One sitting on your back, the other on your ass, keeping you close. He is getting harder by the second. His need for you is growing. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your fingertips grounding you in the moment. There is no rush, no urgency. You have the complete morning and day to melt in each other.
When he finally pulls away, just enough to rest his forehead against yours, his breath is warm against your lips. His eyes flutter shut for a moment as he exhales deeply. This is a dream, he thinks. A damn good dream. And he has no intention of waking up.
One hand moves to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing tenderly over your skin. He doesn’t need to speak; everything he feels is in the way he looks at you, in the way he holds you like you’re something precious. You cover his hand with yours, pressing your cheek into his palm. A faint smile tugs at his lips before he kisses you again.
Sylus takes his time, enjoying how your body reacts to him, the quiet gasps, the way your fingers tangle in his hair. His name escapes your lips in a breathless whisper. He watches you with a quiet intensity, taking in the way you melt under his touch. The space between you disappears, lost in the unhurried way he moves. Once more, your worlds merge, your bodies speaking a language only the two of you understand.
That's how you start the morning: with him, with you, with nothing beyond these four walls mattering. Just the warmth of his skin, the rhythm of your hearts, and the love that neither of you needs to put into words.
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last-of-cheese · 2 days ago
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Okay so my only winter jacket is my Slytherin letterman jacket I got a couple years before all this bullshit went down. I think its like 10 years old. (So like she was starting to be questionable but not like JFCWTF)
Im a broke bitch and i love how warm this jacket is. I'd rather just put a fuckin patch over the embroidered Slytherin logo on the front than spend an obscene amount of money i don't have to get a new jacket. (Like the logo on the front is the only way you'd know it was HP related. Otherwise it just looks like a black jacket with green sleeves.)
Does anyone know of anywhere that makes patches large enough to cover a space that is 6 inches high and 4 inches wide? It's such a weird size so I haven't had any luck. And I've been trying to just stick with wearing hoodies this winter but it don't always work.
Seriously. I'm starting to block y'all on sight it has been quite long enough of a campaign to get you weaned off this terf's books and shows (and now games!)
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creatingblackcharacters · 15 hours ago
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Finally got to see Kendrick's Superbowl performance! My feedback:
1. This is a Masterclass in "I'm not Black, how do I sing these songs" because they didn't let him say a single cuss word and not a singular n word😭 that was for y'all. I was cussing. Every word. So it's possible!
2. Oh the messages were unreal. I loved this performance. "It wasn't fun" this man just spoke the importance of Blackness to America, how I'm forced to play a game I was always meant to lose, and all its unserved promises to my community in exchange for said game while Herr Donald Trump was in the audience. Fuck your fun, there was something that needed to be SAID!
3. It was also incredibly fun! I am a huge fan of Peekaboo, so to hear him perform it was 😤😤😤🤌🏾🔥
4. They needed to turn up his mic. I feel like they did that outta fear. Unfortunate.
5. Camera work level KPop music video 😤
6. It's always wild to me how white America loves Samuel L Jackson despite his very pro Black history. Perfect choice for Uncle Sam indeed!
7. 😈🚶🏾‍♀️"Say Drake" 🚶🏾‍♀️😈
8. "Game Over" at the end was superior wordplay. Game over as in I'm not playing white America's games anymore, game over as in Drake's finished and I win. Iconic. 🤌🏾🔥
I might have to actually go see him live fr 👀
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one-green-frog · 2 days ago
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Family Knows Best
Platonic Yandere Batfam x male reader
(I couldnt really find a good gif)
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The signs had been obvious. Almost too obvious. But here you were, trapped within the walls of Wayne Manor, surrounded by a family whose love for you was more intense, more consuming, than anything you had ever known. The strangest part? You didn’t mind.
Maybe you should be scared. Maybe you should be fighting to leave. But, really, wasn’t this what you had always wanted? A place where people actually cared about you? Where they loved you unconditional?
It all started with a simple visit.
Damian Wayne had walked into your small pet clinic one late afternoon, accompanied by a boy his age. In his hands, Damian held a tiny duckling, its fluffy yellow body trembling against his hands.
"It was alone," he had said, his voice sharp but carefully controlled. "I suspect its mother is dead. What are the chances of its survival?"
The look in his eyes told you just how deeply he cared and how scared he was for it's survival. He was young, but his concern for the creature in his hands was genuine. You reassured him that with the right care, the duckling would grow strong. You even offered him advice on raising it, though, deep down, you had wanted to keep it for yourself. Unfortunately, due to the lack of space you opted for another option. This boy, Damian Wayne, had probably enough space for the duckling, not to mention the resources he had and most importantly, the heart to care for something so small.
What you didn’t realize then was that your kindness had sealed your fate.
In the weeks that followed, the Waynes began appearing in your life in a frequency that couldn't be coincidence. First, it was Jason Todd, walking into your clinic to ask for advice for a "stray" cat he "found", you later realized that the cat was already part of the family for years. Then Dick Grayson, whose excuses were flimsier—he had seen a stray dog outside and thought he should check if you had seen it, then he lingered in your waiting room, babbling on and on about the most random things. Tim Drake came next, standing awkwardly in your doorway as he asked for information on exotic pets, his eyes scanning every inch of your tiny clinic as though analyzing everything about you.
It felt... odd. Wayne money didn’t typically find its way into the rougher parts of Gotham, yet here they were, weaving themselves into your routine, your space, your life.
Then the flowers started arriving.
Every morning, a fresh bouquet sat at your doorstep—rare, expensive arrangements that made it clear this wasn’t some random act of kindness. No name. No note. Just a silent reminder that someone was watching. At first you thought it was an accident, but the bouquets continued to show up, it made it obvious they were meant for you.
You told yourself you should be creeped out. But no one had ever sent you flowers before. No one had ever gone out of their way to make you feel special. No one would be bothered if you took them into your flimsy apartment. No one would complain and the flowers made your apartment kinder, nicer and just lovelier to wake up to
Then, one evening, Bruce Wayne walked into your clinic.
It was different from the others. The moment he stepped inside, the air in the room shifted. He didn’t rush, didn’t hesitate. He moved with an easy confidence, his deep blue eyes fixed solely on you. His usual playboy smile on his lips that could melt anyone, and yet here he was, looking at you as if you were royalty.
“I’ve heard a lot about you,” he said, his voice smooth, warm.
You were frozen in place. The billionaire, the man Gotham worshipped, was standing in your dingy little clinic, smiling at you like you were the most fascinating thing in the world.
That was the beginning of the end.
He returned often. Sometimes he brought gifts, small, thoughtful things that showed he had been paying attention. A book you mentioned wanting to read. A coat after he “noticed” the thin fabric of your usual one. Every gesture was perfectly calculated, yet felt so natural, so effortless, that you found yourself leaning into his presence without a second thought. He came by at the same time everyday and you found yourself watching the clock closely, heart speeding up whenever it was almost time for his visit.
When he invited you to dinner at Wayne Manor, it felt inevitable.
And when he suggested you stay the night after a few glasses of wine? That, too, felt natural. It was late, Gotham is dangerous, not to mention that you didn't want to bother the nice butler.
When you woke the next morning, disoriented but warm beneath the heavy silk sheets, Bruce was already there, waiting with a tray of breakfast. His smile was soft but filled with something deeper, something darker.
“I’m so glad you’re here", he said with the same sweet voice.
Something was wrong. You knew something was wrong. The prince of Gotham not only invited you to dinner, let you stay the night and now he is in the room with a tray of breakfast? It was simply to weird to be true. But he was looking at you like you were the most precious thing in the world, and for the first time in your life, you felt seen. You felt like you belonged on this place
So you stayed.
And stayed.
Days bled into weeks. You told yourself you could leave if you wanted to. That nothing was keeping you here. No one really forced you to stay. And yet... you couldn’t leave, it was like i higher force told you that you were right where you belonged, where you were cared for and loved. And then there was the family, so warm, so eager to keep you close. You weren’t a prisoner. Not really.
You were theirs.
Dick was the easiest to get attached to. He was light, warmth, and safety all wrapped into one human.Movie nights with him turned into deep conversations about life, love, and loss, his struggles with relationships, especially with his family since he works outside of Gotham. He would confide in you, let himself cry against your shoulder, and then whisper how much he needed you to stay, how no one had ever made him feel this way before. “You’re the only normal one here,” he would say, his fingers tight around your wrist. “You make everything feel right.”
Jason was different—quiet, intense, always hovering near but never too close. He would accompany you on walks through the gardens, listening more than speaking. When you talked about books, about the things that made you happy, memoriesfrom your childhoos, he would nod along, his face unreadable but always at peace. But you noticed the way he would subtly recommend books you might like, covering it under the guise of "a friend recommended it, but i haven't had the time to read it yet, why don't you give it a try", the way he perked up when you actually listened and bought the book and said you enjoyed it. He was quiet, but you could feel it—the way he held on to every word, the way his presence lingered long after he was gone. His action spoke of how much he looked up to you, a father-figure that he had a normal relationship with.
Tim was an enigma. He barely slept, barely ate, but he always seemed to be there. At dinner. During family time. During late-night kitchen visits where he would sit across from you, a coffee cup in hand, while you ate a bowl of cereal. He would ramble about theories, about mysteries in books he read, some "case" from a the series he watched and though you hardly understood half of it, you nodded along, letting him talk. He needed that. He needed you. A presence that didn't tell him to quiet down, didn't butt in to tell him he was a bit too paranoid.
And Damian? Damian clung to you. Always following you around, like a puppy. It started small—sitting beside you, leaning against you, watching you with sharp green eyes. Then came the possessiveness, the way he would glare at his brothers when they got too close, the way he fell asleep in your bed without asking. Not much time had passed before he called you brother
“I will not betray the honor of being by your side,” he had murmured one night, curled up against you. It was meant to be a statement, not a question.
And then there was Bruce Wayne. The man that looked at you as if you hung the stars. He cared for you like no other, always making sure you were alright. He spent most of his free time with you and he made sure you knew that he appreciated the way you brought the family together. Family time before you would often lead to fights, regret or just utter silence, but with you here, someone so ordinary in a special way the time spent together was peacful. Even Alfred the butler always smiled at you.
At this point you couldn't leave, be it because of you or because of the family that would made sure you wouldn’t.
They weren’t going to let you go. You were part of their family, their brother and son, the light of the manor.
And worse?
You didn’t want to leave.
Because no one had ever loved you like this before. No one had ever looked at you like you were the most important thing in the world. It was sick, it was wrong, it was obsessive.
But it was also love.
And maybe that was enough.
Being a part of this family was probably the one thing in your life that felt right.
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DC has a grip on my life rn, so feel free to request something. But other than that, i hope you all have a great day :)
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jedisupernova · 2 days ago
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old school love with choi seunghyun
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notes minors dni contains fem reader, non idol au, seunghyun and reader are in their early twenties, always written with plus size reader in mind as i am myself but anyone can read, takes place in the late 2000s (hence the mention of specific phones, references to certain media, songs linked throughout, and party culture,) awkward yet cute first meeting, this very much slice of life, slight angst (a silly misunderstanding during the meet cute, reader brings up insecurities from not being experienced), tooth rotting fluff, a few appearances from jiyong because yes!, mentions of smoking and drinking, reader is inexperienced (never been kissed, never been confessed to; seunghyun is her first love), reader has strict parents which leads to seunghyun and reader having to sneak around, seunghyun and reader are down bad, smut (over the phone, in the car, oral f receiving, dirty talk, foreplay, p in v), and some inevitable typos.
requested? no, this is an original idea! this was initially inspired by the mention of old school love in this song by zayn. i've always heard of the concept, and this is my take on it, told through vignettes of gentle young love. please request something if you'd like, and don't hesitate to check my pinned post. i love this man tenderly. please tell me you see the vision. enjoy!
new year's eve 2007. there's still three hours to midnight, and seunghyun's wondering why he chose to wear a hoodie with long sleeves underneath to a crowded house party. luckily he's got his own corner of the compact living room, standing between two friends he hitched a ride with there—his third being the host—so he aptly distracted himself from how hot it was with their banter as best he could, laughing into his red solo cup before taking a swig of whatever concoction his friend mixed for him in the kitchen earlier tonight. he hid his soured expression over the taste well, wiping the sweat off his forehead with his sleeve. seunghyun remembers asking for a rum and coke, and he can definitely taste the latter ... but he'd know his enemy smirnoff anywhere ... it was way too stuffy to move, so he humbly took the loss.
"there you fuckin' are!" seunghyun looked up to see jiyong, the one hosting who already looked as if the night had taken its toll. "holy shit, man. i've been looking everywhere for you guys!" seunghyun had to squint to hear him over the loud music. the fact there wasn't much lighting besides a few lamps and multi-colored rotating disco party lights didn't help either. "c'mon. she just got here—in the kitchen." jiyong motioned his head to the left, the trio following him into the crowd. the kitchen was much more well lit and slightly less congested, but seunghyun nonetheless had to put his weight against the fridge to grant enough room to stand comfortably. he offered a polite grin and wave to the friend group mainly comprised of women his age in front of him, the one in the middle introduced as jiyong's girlfriend. you were closest to the counter, the left of everyone, cracking open a hard seltzer you picked from the cooler stationed beside the sink. you grimaced after taking a sip, bringing the can to your eyes to see the flavor that wronged you: lime. "christ, that's horrible." you shook your head, expression soured.
seunghyun didn't overhear, because he was too busy looking over his shoulder in amazement upon hearing one of his suggestions for the party mixtape blare throughout the house. reverting his attention back with a smug grin on his face, his eyes fluttered past you tugging at the collar of your sweater, pulling at it repeatedly for what looked to be air flow. seunghyun wondered if the party felt like an oven to you, too, and if you overdressed like him, because he started fanning himself without realizing.
an hour later, he couldn't take it anymore. "be right back, i'm going out for a smoke." he told a friend sat beside him on the couch. he could not have cared less that it was below freezing outside, or that the leftovers from the snow storm three weeks ago had probably frozen over into patches of black ice littering the deck—he needed to cool off. he closed the sliding door with a relieved huff, the party now muffled. the feet of his sneakers crunched against the snow, hands pushing his hood off his head, fingers brushing through his sweaty hair. "holy shit." he muttered to himself, pulling his sleeves up to his elbows. seunghyun could see his breath when he exhaled, and goosebumps rose along his bare arms, but as far as he was concerned, he would stay out here to ring in the new year if it meant he wouldn't have to suffer a heatstroke inside. he walked to a spot behind the wooden railing framing the entirety of the deck, his hand reaching into his pocket for his marlboros. he took out a cigarette, hanging it between his lips, searching for his lighter next. it was then he looked up and saw you standing at your own spot along the railing some feet away, having looked over your shoulder to see who else had come outside.
it was too late to ignore, or act like you didn't see each other, so he did the favor of making things less awkward. or trying to, as any twenty-something year old hopes: seunghyun took the unlit cigarette out of his mouth. "hi," he spoke uncharacteristically quietly. "you're—" thank the universe he remembered her name, because the irrational nerves over making conversation were mounting quickly. "—friend, right?" you nodded. "you're jiyong's?" you asked. he smiled, nodding too. "i'm seunghyun. we met earlier, in the kitchen?" his tone asked if you remembered, his hand gesturing to the sliding door. "yes!" you responded a bit more enthusiastically than you intended to in your head, internally cringing. "i remember, i remember." you said, nodding. you didn't know what else to do. seunghyun must've felt the same, because he nodded at nothing.
you looked away from him, feeling flustered. he mimicked, hands balled up in his pockets. "you—" he cleared his throat. "you liking the party?" "hm?" you didn't expect him to continue the conversation. "yeah!" here you went again, sounding animated to the point that even he, a complete stranger, could tell you were over-compensating. "i mean," you let out a breath, shrugging your shoulders. "its okay. i don't really go to parties often, so i guess i could say i misjudged how hot it'd be to show up in a sweater with a thermal underneath." seunghyun exhaled through his nose, an upside down grin tugging at his lips. "i know." he agreed. "hot as shit in there, bro." you chuckled. "hot as shit indeed."
silence brewed. seunghyun didn't turn away, so you took it as your turn to fill the air. you pulled out the only card you had (bringing up a mutual friend,) even if he'd done so already: "how long have you—" the sudden dryness of your throat was certainly a sign from the universe to shut up, but it was too late to cut yourself off completely. you swallowed, continuing: "how long have you known jiyong?" "since we were kids. middle school, i think." seunghyun doesn't know why he implied he didn't know, because he certainly did. he also wondered why he nodded, again, at nothing. who boldfaced lied when they said your preteen years were the most awkward? because he wanted to curl into a ball right the fuck now. he was usually fine at making small talk, what was the difference now? why couldn't he stop nodding?? "how about you?" oh, great. now his voice was a noticeable octave higher, clearing his throat.
you knew what he meant. "we met each other our freshman year. she was in my first year seminar, and we kind of just clicked." "you go to school around here?" "mhm," you nodded. "the university that everyone we know goes to, it feels like." you quipped, making that upside down grin appear on his face again. "how about you?" "the community college that no one goes to." he answered, voice back to normal. "but i'm in the middle of transferring there, funnily enough." then ushered in another characteristically young adult conversation: your studies. it was standard and harmless. even so, you came across a different reason to break a sweat despite the bitter cold beginning to numb your cheeks, or the sharp, quick breaths through your periodically chattering teeth. seunghyun took a step closer to you in the midst telling an anecdote about the last exam he had before the holiday break, inadvertently putting himself in your direct line of view. you realized not only oh, wow. he's pretty tall, to yourself, lifting your head a little to look at him, but also oh, wow. he's pretty cute, when your eyes met. or when he continued looking at you, because he finished saying his piece some seconds ago, yet you hadn't said anything. the fleeting silence only made you become more flustered, really coming to terms with just how fine he is; all clashing with how you have no idea how to talk to someone this attractive.
"yeah, that sounds fucked up." you attempted to mask the fact that you did not process a word of what he just said with a chuckle, gaze lowering momentarily to your hands, tugging at your sleeves to shield them from the cold, or just to do something. the words felt foreign in your mouth—your inner monologue making you feel like you were trying too hard—though you weren't allergic to profanity whatsoever. seunghyun smirked to himself, his own gaze falling to the snowy deck, until you spoke: "i had, like, three exams all in one day—the day before break." you said, glancing up at him before chickening out, reverting back to your hands which were completely engulfed by your knit sweater. your thumb poked out of the sleeve, nail picking at a fraying thread. "i guess i'm still feeling the repercussions of it." the volume of your voice dwindled somewhat coupled your shy grin, your shoulders shrugging, looking up at him. even through his chuckle with a smile making the corners of his eyes kiss, or his affirming "its brutal. i get that.," you mentally berated yourself: holy shit, is that the best i can do? just continue talking about school? get yourself together!
the next bout of silence lasted for at most ten seconds, but with how you were scrambling, it felt like years; working against an invisible timer. unbeknownst to him, this was seunghyun's turn to look at you. the only word coming to mind was sweet. he was smart enough to put two-and-two together as to why you were, admittedly, visibly nervous as he's had a girlfriend before. he wasn't the type to use that to inflate his ego, but found it charming nonetheless. seeing the curvature of your cheeks when you looked down made his heart soften—his lips molding into that damn knowing grin—and it could've very well been the minute gust of wind, but the glint in your eyes when you looked at him, nodding politely ... he was a little taken aback. you were devastatingly adorable.
your eye caught the cigarette in his hand. "you smoke?" you blurted out without an iota of a thought, so quick that your tone was almost bland—a moment where the subconscious beat rationale. oh my god. you momentarily closed your eyes, shocked at yourself. are you kidding me? seunghyun held in a laugh, trying his best to wipe his smile off his face when you opened your eyes. you mistook it as a sign of second-hand embarrassment. "oh my god. i'm so sorry, i don't know why i said—" "—it's okay, you're good." seunghyun shook his head as further affirmation, waving his free hand. he had completely forgotten he was still holding the cigarette, anyway. "but, yeah. i do. sometimes." his face started to feel warm. not because he felt shamed, or belittled, or judged, but because he caught sight of your eyes again. he could've sworn they'd grown in the last fifteen seconds. "d—do you?" he suddenly became very aware of how deep his voice is. "my voice has always sounded like this." he explained, gesturing to his throat. he knew he was being irrational, but like you before, it was too late to cut himself off. "i'm not like—uh—dying, or anything." he brushed off with an animated chuckle.
you felt like the worst person in the world. the nervous smile on your face didn't move a millimeter. "i don't." you shook your head. "and it's okay! i didn't mean to—i like your voice." your eyes widened. seunghyun raised his eyebrows. "you do?" he couldn't hide his smile. he returned the boldness, even if yours was a slip of the mouth. "i like your face." he meant it. there isn't a timeline out there where that wouldn't be the truth. your surprised expression made him exhale through his nose, an admiring grin on his face. oh, he wanted you. flashes ran through his head: squishing what looked to be the softest cheeks in the world between his palms, pulling you close to his chest to help you warm up; pressing his cheek against yours as a makeshift heater since you've truly made him that flustered, and how you'd react upon him calling you "my girl." sure, he was moving a little quickly, considering he's just realized he never asked for your name, but that's what just crushes do. seunghyun could not help the dream-like state he entered, placing his hand on the railing, the unlit cigarette slipping from his fingers, lost in the grass below. you, on the other hand, were speechless. never before have you ever been flirted with—this was flirting, right? like, you weren't misreading anything, or making shit up? "you ... you do?"
before seunghyun could answer, the sliding door opened, the ruckus of the party no longer blocked out. "seunghyun!" it was jiyong. "it's thirty minutes 'til the ball drop. i need help setting up the champagne." jiyong saw you, nearly cowering at seunghyun's scathing look reading are you fucking serious? "m-my bad, you guys." jiyong laughed awkwardly, putting a hand up in surrender. "seunghyun, just come in whenever." the door closed, leaving you two alone again. you were sheepish out of your goddamn mind, unable to look at seunghyun, content with the fact that your eyes may just stay on the deck forever. "i meant it, by the way." you looked up. "hm?" "i like your face." seunghyun repeated. your full smile that appeared ... his knees might have buckled. "oh," a giggle left your lips. yeah, he was a goner. "thank you. i ... i like your face, too." your voice was gentle. it felt indescribable, flirting back. you weren't sure if you were doing it right, considering you were suddenly really interested in the shape of your pointer finger's nail bed right about now, thwarting this fire-pit of feelings in your chest ... to be desired, chatted up, or pursued like this ... by a fine ass man nonetheless ... after being sidelined for your whole life, watching your friends experience something you wanted so badly too. oh my goodness—maybe your friends weren't just trying to make you feel better when they told you ad nauseam that it comes when you least expect it. because out of everything, and you mean everything you expected to happen tonight, this wasn't even in the realm of the realm of the utmost realm of possibilities.
you warded off wanting to hold his hand by interlacing your fingers together. seunghyun couldn't stop the stupidly big smile stretching across his face if he tried. "cool," he said, nodding. "that's .... that's cool." his hand came up, scratching the back of his neck. "listen, i .. uh—" he gestured to the door. "i gotta go back inside and help jiyong with the—with the champagne. could i get your number? i'll call you tomorrow, if that's okay with you." "yes!" your heart stammered over how he smiled so big his eyes smiled with him. seunghyun gave you his nokia flip phone, letting you type your number in. "call yourself so you can have my number, too." said seunghyun, pulling his sleeves back down. you did so, satisfied hearing your phone ring, pulling it out of your pocket to end the call. "i never got your name." he said, putting his phone back into his pocket. when you told him, he didn't stop his inner monologue from adding his surname. call it a random impulsive thought or whatever, but he was being serious. "i'll see you inside?" he asked, halfway through walking to the door. "mhm!" you responded. "see you inside." seunghyun smiled, disappearing back into the party. you missed his fine ass already . . .
so there you were, the next evening, repeatedly glancing at your phone. you felt fine for a majority of the day; sleeping in after coming home late the night previous, treating your hovering hangover with plentiful amounts of water and falling asleep yet again, but within the first hour of fellowship of the ring (it was your first time in recent years defying your self-made new year's tradition), and hurriedly bringing your phone within eyesight if it did so much as beep. you wondered if seunghyun would actually call . . . it all seemed too good to be true . . . and you hoped that he'd just magically show up, looking over your shoulder and out the living room window for his car (did he even have one?) and walk up to your door (he hasn't the faintest clue where you live) with a bouquet of roses (he doesn't know they're your favorites. well, at least not yet) to profess his undying love to you (working on that too. the to do list is in your head). so when your phone rang after dinner, your hair still very much wet from your shower; the towel having just been thrown behind your desk chair, you momentarily froze. you grabbed your phone from your desk, confused by the unknown number. but then you recognized the area code as your own, realising that in the midst of your yearning, you completely forgot to save his number.
you pressed the answer button, bringing your phone to your ear. "hello?" "hey!" my goodness, it wasn't too good to be true. "happy new year! i wasn't able to find you after the ball dropped. so, yeah. here's me wishing you." he descended into a short, slightly nervous chuckle. he was looking for me!? oh my god!? "happy new year," you said back, closing your bedroom door. "you were looking for me? i left at around two, i think. how about you?" "five, maybe." seunghyun dodged the other question, his face already feeling warm not even a full minute in. "jiyong needed help cleaning up, and kicking people out." "five!?" you exclaimed, sitting on the edge of your bed. "and here i was, fighting sleep all day, whereas you sound unscathed." seunghyun laughed heartily. "i slept in until, like, two today. so i wouldn't say i was completely unaffected." "that's fair." you nodded, despite him not being able to see.
"how about you, hm?" he asked, voice smooth and low, even over the grainy audio. "did you sleep good?" "i did. better than usual." seunghyun smirked, fingers toying with the drawstring cords of his sweatpants. "how about you?" he heard your sweet voice ask. "i slept good, too. knowing i'd be talking to you the next day." you hid your eyes behind your palm, elbow resting atop your thigh. how you were able to get words out, you had no idea. "seunghyun," he could hear that on a loop for the rest of his life and he would die a happy man. "you can't just say shit like that." "why not?" the gentle, yet teasing lilt to his words made you feel dizzy. it was as if the universe finally aligned in your favor. what he would do to see the look on your face right now . . . "what? have you never been flirted with, or something?" he quipped playfully without much thought. "i haven't, no." you answered truthfully. "but you still can't say shit like that, seunghyun. i need a warning or something. it's like my mind stops working." you chuckled, pressing your phone to your ear like its the last thing you'll ever do.
seunghyun's eyebrows flinched in and out of a furrow. "no one's ever flirted with you? what do you mean?" the question aired out before thinking. the realised insensitivity of his words coupled with the unintended belittling tone made him backtrack almost immediately: "that was low of me to say. i'm sorry, that's my bad completely." he shook his head completely. "it's okay!" you shook your head, too. "you didn't know. it's fine." you took a breath. "but if we're being honest . . . no. i've never done anything like that before. i'm more used to seeing it happen to other people than experiencing it, if that makes sense." "it does." seunghyun was quick to affirm, nodding whilst he listening to your words carefully. "yeah," your palm slid up and down your thigh, subconsciously trying to self-sooth. "so . . . last night, when we were talking . . . i thought you were making fun of me. or pulling my leg. but then i realised my brain just wasn't letting me accept that . . . oh, this guy might think i'm cute, too." "i do. i do think that." seunghyun sat up in his bed, determined. "i would never do that. i'm not that type of guy. i don't know who you've met, or made you feel like this, but know i'm not like that."
there was a brief moment of silence from your end of the call. "are you sure you're not just saying that to me to be nice?" "of course not." he said sincerely, tone soft. "of course i'm not saying it to be nice. i mean it. i'll be honest, when i met you last night, you have some of the most kissable cheeks i've ever fucking seen." he pulled his legs up to sit criss-cross. this was serious to him. "how about when you casually mentioned you won an award for a policy paper you wrote about education? i didn't know i'd be at the same party as the future president." "oh my god!" you laughed, face feeling as if it was ablaze. "you're crazy." "look, people have decided to miss out on you, but i won't. are you free on friday? no—scratch that, we're on break until next week. are you free tomorrow?"
for the first time in your life, you didn't feel the need to convince yourself you were worthy of romance, because the universe rooted for you, too. "i am. all day." you said. "i'll take you to dinner. do you want to see a movie?" "i like them, yeah. but . . . i mean, i was watching fellowship of the ring earlier today." just say it. he's right there, on the other side of the line. just say it. ". . . but, i like talking to you. i'd—" you cleared your throat. "i'd rather do that then wait two hours to—uh—do so, if that makes sense." your palm started soothing your thigh again. seunghyun had the stupidest smile on his face. he refrained from hiding his head underneath his pillow. "but we can watch a movie! next time! if that's . . . if that's what you want!" your eyes closed in defeat, hiding your face from no one. "oh god, i'm digging myself into a hole here. i have no idea how to do this." "you're doing really well." said seunghyun. "enough to make my face feel like i have the highest fever ever." "you too." you responded sheepishly. "we'll finish fellowship of the ring on our second date. it's my favorite after return of the king, anyway." you hit the jackpot. "okay," you responded, how fucking sweet you sounded made his heart palpitate. "sounds good, seunghyun. i can't wait."
three months later, you beginning to feel those love songs you've heard all your life were onto something. something you come to terms with would pass you by as a way to cope—but here he was now, bending down onto his knee in the middle of a busy bookstore to tie your shoelace; buying the cds of your favorite artists that you mention either intentionally or off-the-cuff, downloading them to his ipod to listen in between lectures, doing coursework, or storing them into his cd wallet in the center console of his car to listen on his way to pick you up; or spending a lot of his time kissing those precious cheeks ("you're so sweet, you know that? so pretty, too." "seunghyun . . ." "see, that's what i mean.") he's a very smooth talker, doting, and affectionate. primarily because he cannot get enough of the look on your face whenever he makes a move, but also because you breath more life into him when he does so. to seunghyun's fault, however, he can get a little ahead of himself, and forget how shy you can be. so when the tension had been brewing throughout the entirety of your third date, you two sat in bashful silence in his car, him parked some feet away from your house. the music had since been lowered; one of the many cds he's bought since you started dating. seunghyun leaned over the center console towards you, only to retract somewhat when he heard a small gasp. "i'm sorry," he said. "did i—was that too quick?" "no, no. it's okay." you nodded in reassurance. "i just . . . i've just never kissed anyone before. sorry, i know that probably sounds really annoying by now." your hands were in your lap, thumb running over your knuckles to thwart the warmth traveling up your neck.
seunghyun shook his head. "its not. i told you its not." he said sincerely. its true, he has told you that it is and will never be a problem. how he giggles over the phone and presses kisses onto the back of your hand whenever he holds it serves as testament, but that voice in your head can be a bit louder. "i want to." you tell him, eyes meeting with his. seunghyun looked so fine it was almost offensive; his grown out black hair and choppy bangs messily framing his face albeit with effortless charm. he's told you he thinks it makes him look weird, hence how often he wears beanies and puts his hood up, but the moment you muttered "i think it makes you look really handsome," over the phone two nights ago, he showed up tonight letting it breath no problem. "but i don't know how." you told him, shaking your head. "its okay, baby," seunghyun reassured tenderly. it was the first time he called you that pet name, but he didn't think twice as it felt akin to natural instinct to call you that. you, on the other hand, were struggling to keep it together in the passenger's seat. i only have so much strength as a woman . . . you thought to yourself.
"we'll take it slow. just close your eyes and take a breath for me, okay? the rest'll come naturally. i promise." "okay." you nodded, trusting him. seunghyun leaned in again. you saw his eyes glance at your lips before returning to yours, your lids darkening your vision only when his nose brushed against yours. his lips were soft and wet as he had licked them before kissing you. yours were so fucking warm against seunghyun's, making him want to kiss you all the more harder, but he steadied himself, reconnecting gently. the side of his nose nestled against yours. "how was that?" he whispered. the cd had finished playing, so the car was quiet besides you and him. "good." you whispered back. "how did i . . . how did i do?" "good," he nodded, glancing at your lips again. "just . . . try kissing me back. don't think about it," your felt his hair tickle your forehead as he shook his head. "i know you'll be good."
to his delight, you were the one that closed the small gap between you. the kiss was so soft, almost nurturing; all the more intoxicating. you reconnected the kiss, pressing your lips onto his in a way that made his arms feel like tv static. "a little softer." he murmured, half-talking to you, but more-so to himself to come down. seunghyun went to kiss you again, but his lips landed on the corner of your opened mouth. "i-i'm sorry." "no, no. it's okay, baby," he tutted softly. christ, that fucking voice of his was going to end you one day. "come here. come here, baby." he got your lips back on his, but you broke it again, obscenely flustered. your heartbeat was in your temples, your palms sweaty in your lap. "seunghyun," you pleaded in that voice he would go to fucking war for. "you can't just call me that." "i can, and i will." he said. "now, come here, baby."
his hand reached over, holding both of yours beneath his palm. you brought a hand up to his jaw when he kissed you, feeling him hum against your lips in encouragement. seunghyun tilted his head a little to the left, deepening the kiss but not by too much, monitoring your reaction. his muscles relaxed upon feeling your exhale through your nose brush along his cheeks. the kiss ceased after a few moments by you once again, only this time to catch your breath. he rested his forehead against yours, breathless himself. "you're really good at this." he said, heartbeat stuttering when he heard your quiet "thank you." seunghyun blurted out this next question without much thought or reason, since he imagined the moment where he asked this to be more romantic, but he simply could not hold himself back: "can i—can i be your boyfriend?"
"yes, yes you can." you responded. both of your hands now held either side of his face, feeling his hand squeeze your thigh a little. "you can be my boyfriend, seunghyun." a grin tugged at the corner of his lips. "i'll—i'll get you flowers and card, and ask you more properly next time." "its okay, its fine." you nodded against his forehead. your thumb traced his bottom lip, "just kiss me right now. i—i need—" you did not need to tell him twice. seunghyun reunited your lips, hand gripping your thigh when your fingers slipped into his hair.
even though you were well over the appropriate age to start dating, you just knew your parents would freak out if they knew you were running around with a boy. you didn't even think to employ the thought; it just wasn't an option. it would be something about distracting yourself from your studies (your grades were nowhere near subpar), or moving too quickly (hey! you're in college, by the way), or being subject to the ongoing mass, unreasonable hysteria over teen pregnancy perpetuated by national news editorials and shitty reality shows, making parents believe by standing near the opposite sex their daughters will somehow be with child (again, you're in your twenties and in college, and its also not your fault parents around the country treat mtv like its the second coming of the satanic panic of the eighties)—so you saved yourself the trouble. seunghyun understood wholeheartedly and took no issue with it, but that doesn't mean he didn't dare go against the grain.
a week before your two month anniversary, your ringtone rang, slightly muffled atop your duvet. you got up from your desk chair, leaving your coursework behind and walked to your bed, clicking the green call button. "hi seunghyun," your voice was soft. "everything okay?" "hey baby," he said. "i'm good, i'm good." he stuffed his free hand into the pocket of his puffer jacket, shivering. "how was your day, hm? i missed you." "fine," you answered, keeping your phone to your ear by raising your shoulder, flipping your textbook to the next chapter you needed to read to complete an assignment. "just a lot of work to do. you know how sundays are. i missed you, too." "i know, baby." his hand left his pocket, using the side of his thumb to wipe his nose. "you know, i'm happy to hear that you missed me, because i'm outside." you raised your head, alarmed, eyebrows knit in confusion. "what do you mean you're outside?" "i mean that i'm outside." "outside where?" "your window." his laugh was masked with a cough. "shit—it's really cold out here, baby." he muttered, looking around at the street lamps, his car parked some distance away. your room was on the lower floor of your family's home; the window on the side of the house and had some height to it, but not enough to ward off seunghyun's idea. so here he was, acting on it.
you hurriedly closed your bedroom door. "are you crazy!?" you whispered. "it's freezing outside! how long have you been out there?" "about ten minutes," seunghyun's tone was calm, as if it was just another day. "there isn't that much distance between your house and the street, but it took a while because i had to avoid the frozen over snow." "you're insane." you muttered. he smiled even wider. "let me see you, baby. c'mon. i miss you." you hung up the call. seunghyun watched the window before him, his upside down grin showing proudly when the curtains opened, revealing you. the snow crunched crisply underneath his feet, walking up when you unlocked and opened the window. "you're utterly insane," you said, resting your elbows on the windowsill, hearing him laugh. "its almost midnight. we both have class early tomorrow, and my parents could wake up at any moment!" you voice descended into a loud whisper. seunghyun waved his hand dismissively. "what did i tell you the other night? i'll drive you. you don't need to take the bus anymore." he spoke quietly, understanding the circumstance, even if he enjoyed teasing you. "you know what else you did the other night that you could've done now? call me." you retorted, but it was really hard to act upset. "you don't like my gesture?" he asked, not hiding his knowing smirk. "i'm saying you saw me two days ago, and you're seeing me every day before our anniversary." "i'd see you every hour in between, if i could."
you didn't have anything smart to say, so you succumbed to your flustered state. seunghyun, looking so princely in his puffer jacket with no beanie in sight, the distant cast of your nightside table lamp weakly illuminating his slightly reddened cheeks from the bitter cold, stepped closer. "give me a kiss and i'll go, baby. just needed to see you." your knees nestled onto the carpeted floors, your torso leaning out the window. seunghyun grabbed onto the ledge, hoisting himself onto the tips of his toes. it was enough for his head to be leveled with your bedroom, but not for long as his eyes fluttered closed to the feeling of your palms holding his face, bringing your lips to his in a tender, sweet kiss. his chin brushed against the ledge, tightening his grip when he re-connected the kiss, feeling his mouth thaw from the cold and ignoring how his under arms were beginning to burn. "can't last twelve hours without you." he murmured against your lips. "learn to." you whispered, kissing him back. "don't wanna." seunghyun took a quick breath when you kissed him one last time, the soft squeak of your lips parting making him feel light-headed.
he watched you in a daze when you returned to resting your elbows against the windowsill; you were as beautiful as a deity, so effortless with your allure. a content smile appeared on his face, eyes twinkling. "thank you, baby." his voice was smooth, turning his head to kiss your palm upon your fingers fixing his hair. he slowly let go of the ledge, paying no mind to how his palms ached. he glanced below him, "i'm sure if i bring a step stool big enough, it'll be no problem next time—" "—next time?" seunghyun looked up. "what? you don't want there to be a next time?" he asked, that goddamn teasing lilt in his voice. "i . . . i do." you spoke so sweetly, he thought he could muster the strength to jump inside. "but at least tell me ahead of time so you won't freeze to near fucking death."
seunghyun kept his word, because the night after your anniversary, he was back outside your window equipped with a step stool. thus began your very risky sneaking around: his arrival at your window at around 10 pm (or thirty minutes later if you went on a date, giving you enough time to return home without suspicion over where you've been, shower, and get ready for bed; either way, he was waiting for your signal of opening the curtains), speed walking to your window after locking his car, step stool in the other hand, climbing into your room after you opened your window, and settling beside you in bed. you spoke in the quietest of whispers, giggled into each other's shoulders, and shared delicate kisses. other times, you brought out your portable dvd player, snuggling into his chest whilst his arms wrapped around you. "my baby. my beautiful girl." he murmured into your supple skin before planting kisses on your forehead, laying his head atop yours. you two read the subtitles in peaceful silence—not daring to raise the volume—either fighting sleep or keeping awake with each other's lips.
he usually left at around one, but one night on the cusp of four months together, both of you fell asleep. you stirred awake, feeling the dvd player lodged uncomfortably underneath your thigh, gradually turning onto your side. seunghyun was in sound slumber, breaths coming in quiet, but curt whistles. your room wasn't completely dark, squinting at the lamp you forgot to turn off next to your bedside digital clock. you jolted awake upon seeing the time: 4:17 AM. "oh my god—" you murmured to yourself, yanking the duvet off of you and getting up in a panic. you turned to seunghyun's sleeping state in utmost dread, remembering he's a deep sleeper, and its a battle to wake him up. "fuck!" you whispered. you tried to think of something, lifting to the duvet further, spotting his ipod and wired headphones. you grabbed it, seeing it there was still half charge. you turned seunghyun's head upright, lodging the headphones in his ears. you scrolled through his library briefly, turning the dial to amp up the volume. "i'm sorry." you whispered apologetically, clicking play.
he stirred awake, sitting up on his elbows, headphones falling out of his ears. "whhaa—" "seunghyun? seunghyun, baby? its four in the morning." you whispered. he slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes. "its four am?" he mumbled, voice riddled with slumber, sounding lower than usual. "yes, baby," you whispered, the bed dipping next to him as you sat. "we fell asleep. i—i don't think my parents came in. but you have to go home." "i know. i know, baby." seunghyun mumbled, pushing the duvet off his jeans. "just—just give me a moment." "thank you." your hand lay on his cheek, bringing the closer one to your lips. seunghyun puckered his lips, still lost in his lingering sleep, humming lowly in satisfaction when he felt your chaste kiss. he climbed out of bed, leaving his ipod behind, stuffing his feet into his shoes by the window. you unlocked it, hearing him yawn, his palm covering his mouth. "i'll come back at ten." he told you, more awake than before. "okay." you spoke softly, entering his usual embrace, your arms wrapping around one another. "i'll see you then. call me when you get home." "i will, my beautiful girl." his breath was hot against your temple—your height only barely reaching his shoulder—pressing a kiss onto your skin before you lifted your head, bringing your lips to his. his thumb kept your chin in place, kissing you back. "i love you, baby." "i love you too, seunghyunie." with that, he climbed out of your window. he grabbed the step stool, walking to his car. the sunrise peered over your neighborhood, only to be shunned out with the closing of your window and drapes. it wasn't until you tucked the dvd player and his ipod away in your nightside drawer did you realize . . . wait . . . we just said i love you.
weekends are typically reserved for dates which largely consist of getting coffee, taking the train into the city to visit museums (and seunghyun nudging his forehead into your temple shyly whenever you lock your arm with his), or passing time walking throughout the mall; looking through various shops and boutiques with your hand in his (and him keeping his gaze on the kay jewelers for a little longer than he intended), sitting next to you as opposed to across during dinner, and ending the night by making out in the backseat of his car. your hand on his cheek, his on your thigh; tongues in fair play. you broke the kiss to look at the small analog clock on his dashboard, biting your bottom lip when his lips found their usual spot on your neck, barely hiding your whimper. "fuck." he muttered, moving to the other side of your neck. his hands rested on either of your hips, humming in content upon feeling your fingers find his hair. "s-seunghyun," you fought to keep your eyes open. "it's 11:10. i have to go inside." "your parents can wait five more minutes." he said. the feeling of his voice vibrating against your skin made your eyes roll back, thighs rubbing together. a small gasp reverberated through the car when seunghyun started running his tongue repeatedly over a spot of your warm skin, sucking and popping off of it. "i really have to go inside—" "—at least let me finish this, baby. the last one healed too quickly." "o-okay," you let out a shaky breath, holding the back of his head, letting your eyes flutter closed. "don't make it too big." "i won't."
sundays were spent at the university library. you two are in your own worlds, sharing a spacious table with various pieces of coursework, required readings, and notebooks sprawled out in a way that only makes sense to your respective minds—seunghyun with his hood up, wired headphones in and reading glasses on. your pen cap between your teeth whilst you read the third of five passages for an upcoming essay you had due; back and forth between taking notes and highlighting lines. you didn't study together much during the week since your lectures did not align most days. but on the mornings where it did, neither of you having classes until the afternoon, seunghyun came over no matter the time he slept or if he was there the night previous, but neither of you studied. he meant it when he said he would spend every hour with you if he could, because he wakes up early just to be with you. it doesn't matter if its to fall right back asleep in your bed after your parents left for work at nine, he was there.
his personal favorites were early saturday afternoons (bonus points if you were going to a party later that night): him laying on top of you, his temple against your chest, taking a nap. he would fall asleep to the sound of you turning the pages of your book, coupled with the steady rise and fall of your chest. by the sound of his quiet snores, you started to feel sleepy by proxy. you would give in after nearly dropping the paperback book on his head, putting it aside on your bedside table. your hand reached down your side for his hand, fishing it out of the warm duvet to set an hour timer on his watch. you brought the pads of his fingers to your lips, kissing them softly before nestling in for your own nap, holding your baby close to you.
you loved and trusted each other to the point of peaceful co-existence. you and seunghyun were alone in the house one saturday evening; him in your room, you in the bathroom down the hall. you were going to a mutual friend's party to dually celebrate both her birthday and the end of finals week that night. your bedroom door was wide open, seunghyun overhearing the rustling of your makeup bag as his eyes looked through your shelf of cds. songs in a minor, alicia keys .... everyone else is doing it, so why can't we?, the cranberries .... b'day, beyoncé .... parachutes, coldplay .... his copy of pink floyd's dark side of the moon that he lent you a couple weeks ago .... grace, jeff buckley .... until he came across the miseducation of lauryn hill towards the front of the shelf, carefully pulling it out and opening the case. he placed the cd in your player on the shelf below, closing the lid and pressing play. he skipped to track 4, lowering the volume to have it blend seamlessly into the background, feeling content.
"seunghyun?" "yeah, baby?" he called back. he turned around, seeing you at the doorway, holding two eyeliner pencils in your hand. "which one: black or dark brown?" he walked over, taking the pencils from your hands, looking them over his palm. "hm. . ." he pondered with genuine thought. "this one is metallic," you pointed to the dark brown liner. "so it has a little shine to it." "i remember," seunghyun nodded. "you wore this one when we went for brunch a couple weeks ago. it looked really pretty." "thank you." you said quietly, glancing down at the carpet. you still felt flustered receiving his compliments, even nearly half a year into your relationship. "so the brown liner, then?" "mhm." "okay. thank you, my love." your hands reached up to his face, bringing him in for a quick kiss. "anything for you, my beautiful girl." said seunghyun, placing purposeful kisses onto your temple and cheek.
you took the liners from him, your sweet laughter ringing in his ears as his arms made residence around your waist, pulling you close to him. your arms took in his shoulders, giggling at the ticklish feeling of his lips kissing a part of your exposed shoulder from the loose collar of your shirt. "my beautiful, beautiful girl." he murmured into your soft skin, kissing your lips once more. you loved how clingy he could be . . . though he would look like a deer in headlights, melting into a puddle of his own pride if it was pointed out. he loved being called seunghyunie. better yet, add "my" in front of that, and he'll have to take laps around the room. he's buried his head into your neck on many nights he snuck over, or even in his own bed, hiding his bashful state with incoherent mutterings of anything from "i'm going to go into heart failure early in my life" to "you make me lose all reason, and i love it."
you kissed him back, feeling his tongue collide with yours. seunghyun went in again, but you parted your lips, turning your head as a smile stretched across your face, his lips finding the corner of your mouth. "you're my big baby." you said sweetly, looking up at him. "my big, tall baby, seunghyunie. how's that, hm?" you erupted into a fit of giggles when seunghyun's forehead fell against your temple—a tell-tale sign that you hit the right bashful nerve—that, as far as seunghyun was concerned, sounded a whole lot like wedding bells. "baby . . ." he elongated his last syllable, voice so low it took a moment to understand. "see? you're already living up to the name." you said. your arms slid off the back of his shoulders, hands resting atop them as best they could whilst you held the liners, briefly standing on your toes to kiss his lips. "i have to go get ready." seunghyun's arms left your waist, resting on your hips. "i like the nickname." he admitted in a murmur. "i know." you nodded. "and i love you, too." "i love you so much." seunghyun couldn't help himself, lips peppering kisses onto the supple skin of your cheek, planting a final one on your lips.
one thing about seunghyun is he loves parties, but none more than being able to show you off. so when he's sat on one of the stools lining the host's kitchen island, you stood between his legs, your arms wrapped around his shoulders as his are tenderly around your waist; hands traveling your lower back—he feels like the hottest shit because he's got the hottest fucking girl. he will unabashedly pepper sweet kisses onto your neck and cheek if you're talking to somebody, or press his cheek against yours as you people watch together from your spot in the kitchen; giggling amongst yourselves in a way that would make even a pessimist's heart begin to thaw. it tugs at his heartstrings even more-so when you find him later in the night after catching up with your friends, a little tipsy with your red solo cup in hand, making residence on his thigh. seunghyun carefully took the cup out of your hand after the drink sloshed around in the midst of your abrupt movement, setting it on the coffee table before his hands dotingly rubbed the side of your thigh, looking up at the love of his life. he's long past the point of caring when his friends are around seeing you squish his cheeks together, kissing the pout that forms on his lips with an extra loud "muah!" that can be heard in the few seconds between songs. he's actually the one pulling you into the small crowd of people dancing in the living room, swaying together to the music.
to seunghyun, he might have looked awkward dancing—but to anyone else who caught a glimpse either from squeezing their way through the crowd to get to the other side of the room, or if they just looked up: you and seunghyun looked smooth; complementary; on the same wavelength. it was one of those moments they would recall to your mini-me twenty years down the line, opening the anecdote with "i remember when your parents . . ." he brought his forehead to yours—earning him the flustered laugh he could get drunk on—bringing his lips to yours when you pulled him in by the rims of his beanie. you turned around afterward, pressing your ass against him, starting to dance again. seunghyun got the message. he followed your movements, arm wrapping around the front of your waist, leaning down to kiss your cheek upon feeling your hand reach back for his hair.
seunghyun played a large hand in improving your confidence, especially when it came to intimacy of any kind. you've come a long way from your posture stiffening when he put his arm around you in the movie theater; your ghost of a returned grip when he held your hand; or backing out mid-makeout on his couch because your face felt so hot, the movie paused and long-forgotten about, the dvd logo bouncing from one side of the tv to the other ("i-i'm sorry—" "—it's okay. come back here, you were doing so good.") it wasn't as if you were a brand new person, but he nurtured a different side of you to come out; honored he was the one deemed worthy enough to witness it. he fucking loved it when you were stood in your own corner at a party, feeling dizzy whenever yours hands traveled underneath the hem of his shirt and around his waist . . . holy fuck . . . and the way you kissed him afterward, so soft and slow, deliberate . . . you might as well make him a father right there.
the tension brewed over time. you may be learning things as you go, but you would be remised to not pick up on seunghyun's not-so-subtle ways. every time he readjusted his position in your bed, arms holding you, you felt his hand traveled just a little lower down your hip. his lips kissed your cheek before returning his attention to space documentary he picked up from blockbuster before sneaking over, reading the captions on the portable dvd player propped up atop the duvet. he thought he was being slick. but when the documentary inevitably ended, and you inevitably pulled him into your lips to make him stay longer, his hand slipped underneath, squeezing your right globe. he'll never forget your sharp inhale, or how hard you kissed him in return.
or when you were stood in line at the mall food court (yes, you read that correctly), his fingers holding yours. he was being so sweet and flirtatious, looking at you with an admiring grin whilst you read the menu. he went back and forth between laying his hoodie-clad head atop yours, kissing your cheek, or leaning down to press a chaste kiss to your lips. you saw in your periphery how he would stare and stare both longingly and knowingly. you didn't give in, until you couldn't hold it in anymore, failing horrendously at hiding your upside-down grin. "what?" you nudged his bicep with your shoulder, hearing him chuckle. "i'm just looking." he responded, voice smooth. you tsked, shaking your head. "you don't make any sense." his kiss to your temple brought your gaze back to him, looking up when he rested his forehead against yours. "that's because you take all of it from me." seunghyun lined the side of his nose with yours, bringing his lips to yours. he's done this countless times before, but it was how his lips lingered for a second or two that made all the difference . . . how they parted so slowly and deliberately . . . it made you think oh . . . this man may very well want me to have his baby! it wouldn't be far-fetched either, since on your four month anniversary, he told you he was ready to introduce you to his parents after your third date.
then came those saturday mornings . . . or mornings where neither of you had class until the afternoon . . . when you got up from bed, and he sees your shorts have ridden completely up your thighs in your sleep . . . how fucking delectable they look. your back is turned to him as you stretch your arms out and yawn, but seunghyun's stare is unabashed and hard. it starts as a sideways glance, like he doesn't want to get caught. but then he sees how they jiggle with every minute movement . . . he's enamored. he turns onto his side fully, studying how your cellulite adorns your skin so specifically . . . then his palms start to tingle, wanting to reach out and feel you in his hands. but all he does is cast his hand against your crisp bed sheets, wrinkled where you laid just moments ago. seunghyun then notices the slight sheen of your skin when you step into the sunlight pouring in from the window; the remnants of your moisturizer you apply before you sleep, he was sure. this is what makes his teeth rake against his bottom lip, quickly glancing up to see if you were still turned around, which you were. then came those imperfections he wanted so badly to kiss, to linger his tongue over: the small, translucent forever-bruise on the side of your left thigh that never healed; standing in a crowded train after spending the day with each other in the city, temporarily squished against the arm rest of a seat to make room for incoming passengers. your fucking tan line from your go-to denim shorts you wore during the summer jesus christ . . . and how some of your stomach spilled over your shorts, the thick curvature of your body akin to a fucking goddess's. what he would do to be trapped between them . . .
"i'll be right back." your voice took him out of his trance, seunghyun looking up to see you opening the bedroom door, walking to the bathroom down the hall. "okay, baby." his voice was gravely, clearing his throat afterward. seunghyun turned onto his back. he lifted the duvet, peeking underneath to see the bulge in his sweats. he let out a disbelieving huff, running his hands over his face. it's not even ten am yet. he thought to himself. it should be no surprise that when you came back into bed, his lips made residence on yours, hand slipping by your hip and grabbing your ass. seunghyun stopped periodically to place kisses on your chest, or moving the strap of your cami to trace the tip of his tongue along your stretch marks lining your shoulder before kissing them, too. "wanna try something new, baby." he murmured against your skin. "okay," you said, fingers brushing his hair back, watching as his lips returned to your chest. "what is it, seunghyun?" "wanna put these in my mouth—'nd taste you."
you nodded, hair rubbing against your pillowcase. "o-okay," your voice fell to a whisper, the birds chirping outside rivaling your volume. "go ahead, seunghyun." he lifted his head, kissing you. "tell me if it's too much, okay?" "i will." you said, kissing him. a shallow breath left your chest as his lips traveled down your chest. he's fondled your breasts before—in the backseat of his car, and when the portable dvd player is mere background noise, but nothing could have prepared him for now your left breast recoiled when he tugged that side of your cami down. it was so perky, so cute; happy to see him. he captured your areola in his mouth, running his warm tongue over it slowly. he's never heard you gasp like that before. "s—seunghyun!" you barely breathed, shuddering oxygen in and out. he quickly detached—"is it too much—" "—no, no! keep—keep going!" you whimpered, pushing the back of his head back down. he sucked with bliss, readjusting himself when you arched your back, his other hand kneading your right breast. he tugged that side of your cami down, showing that nipple less mercy than the other. "f-fuck!" you gasped, hand coming up to your mouth. "yes, yes! oh my god, seunghyun!" your body squirmed, thighs enclosing around his waist. he needed to move on. if he didn't, he was going to ruin his sweatpants.
he popped off of your hardened nipple gently, bringing his lips to yours. you latched onto him with needy fervor, kissing him quickly. "i'm gonna eat your pussy, okay baby?" he spoke against your lips. you whimpered into his mouth, eyebrows turning upward in desperation, hands holding onto the back of his shoulders. "gonna take care of you. tell me if you want to stop." "o—ngh!—okay." seunghyun pushed the duvet off the both of you, making his way down your body, leaving kisses in his wake. he stood on his knees as he pulled your shorts and underwear off, discarding them on his usual side of the bed. his hand slid down your left thigh, fingers running over that small bruise. he leaned down, pressing a kiss. he moved a couple of inches down the bed, settling his knees onto the carpeted floor, propping the upper-half of his body up with his elbows. you separated your legs. his tongue ran over his bottom lip, mouth watering.
he kissed the inner parts of your thighs, trailing where you needed him most. seunghyun wasted no time after that, plunging his tongue between your puffy folds. oh . . . you tasted good. the sensation was indescribable for you—a curt gasp all you could muster those first few seconds, palm covering your mouth as you devoured the unbelievable sight below you. your eyebrows were so deeply furrowed; a choked moan leaving your diaphragm as his tongue explored your divine essence. seunghyun separated your lips with his pointer and middle finger, trying to find that sweet bundle of nerves. he placed his tongue higher than before, taking note of your gasp. he pushed his head in deeper, knowing he was coming closer when your thighs brushed against his ears. seunghyun hit the jackpot when he pushed in a little deeper, arms quickly wrapping around your waist to keep you as still as he could when your body jolted, thighs closing in on him, effectively putting him in a still-moveable headlock. "o—oh m-my god—ngh! hngh!" you moaned helplessly. "s-seunghyun!" you cried, fingers disappearing into his hair, tugging. "feel good, baby? that feel good?" he asked quickly, voice muffled, not liking going mere seconds without you on his tongue. "y-yes! keep—keep—"
you couldn't finish your sentence, but he needed no further instruction. he nursed your clit unabashedly, his hand reaching up and kneading your right breast. "s-seunghyun, i'm gonna—i feel—" your breathing was heavy, eyes squeezed shut. "cum in my mouth." was all seunghyun said. your legs opened abruptly, back arching higher than before as your orgasm washed over your entire body. seunghyun kept working your clit, popping off of your sweet pussy through your delicate moans and mewls. he swallowed whatever you gave him, humming into you in satisfaction, relishing in how you breathily whined his name. he gradually latched off with tongue-led kisses, palming himself through his sweatpants. he left your pussy swiftly when he felt a wet patch, looking down to see that he, indeed, ruined his sweatpants.
then came a week later, when you made love for the first time at eleven am on a fucking tuesday morning. "breath for me." he told you gently, positioning his condom wrapped tip between your soft, puffy lips. "in," he inhaled through his nostrils, you mimicking. "and out." you exhaled together. he kissed your divine lips, hand coming up and holding your cheek. "my beautiful girl," he whispered. "i love you so much." "i love you too." your hands held the back of his neck, kissing him back. "this might hurt a little. we have all the time in the world. we'll take it easy." his lips pressed against your cheek, hearing your gentle "okay." he slowly pushed himself in, stopping halfway when you held tightly onto his shoulders. "f-fuck, ngh! it . . . it hurts." you whispered. "i know, i know baby." he low voice cooed, his hand holding your cheek, bringing the one closest to him to his lips. "keep going. slowly." "i will."
he thrusted slowly with half of his cock inside of you, listening to your every breath. "any better?" he whispered. he sucked in a tight breath, feeling how tight you are. "a . . . a little. try adding more each time." "anything for you." he kissed your temple, following your words. silence filled the room, nothing but the slight creak of your bed frame, shaky breaths, and rustling of the duvet against the linen. seunghyun's ears perked up when he heard a quiet moan, feeling your nails starting to dig into his bare shoulder. "s-seunghyun . . . m-more." "which one? faster or deeper, baby?" "deeper." you said, voice breathy. your eyebrows twitched as you were mostly adjusted, bottom lip captured between your teeth as he stretched you out. "mmf!" you yelped. "does—f-fuck—that feel g-good?" seunghyun was losing himself in you, struggling to keep his mind clear. "y-yes!" you moaned. "g-go faster, seunghyunie. p-please." "god fucking damn—f-fuck, baby!" he mewled, moaning into your ear. "you feel so fucking g-good, oh my god!" the rest of that morning was a haze of grunts, sweat, and chanting each other's names like prayers. to think you were in your intro to international democracies lecture not even four hours later was obscene.
neither of you trusted yourselves to keep quiet when he came over, but that doesn't mean you at least tried . . . albeit, over the phone. "you drive me fucking crazy, baby—fuck!" his phone fell from his ear, his free hand quickly grabbing it, his other showing little mercy to himself. you could hear the wet, slick sounds of his cock from your side of the line, your thighs trapping your wrist between your legs. "the—the way you—hngh!—l-looked at me from over your shoulder, the way you sounded when i fucked you from b-behind." he spoke into the phone lowly. "you looked so beautiful, and felt so f-fucking good. did it feel good baby, hm? did it feel good when i pounded that sweet pussy?" "s-seunghyun—" you sounded so delicate, so fragile. "i—ngh!—i n-need you so bad. i can't take it anymore." he heard your shaky gasp, sure you were close. "tell me, baby. i know you're close, i can hear it." he moaned hearing you whimper at his words, feeling the knot in his abdomen begin to unravel. "t-tell me—s-shit!—i-i'm, i'm close t-too. tell me, baby. you know you can tell your seunghyunie anything, right?"
when that wasn't enough (it never was), you took it to the backseat of his car. it was an unspoken rule; nonverbal pattern of events when he was to drop you home, but that something was in the air and could not go unaddressed—like the night of your friend's birthday party. he unlocked his trunk, folding the backseats forward to allow enough room for you to lay on your back. in your defense, you tried to keep quiet. you really did . . . considering it was well past one in the morning, your house was one measly block away, and your neighborhood was very much a quiet suburb. but the car was shaking, your toes pressed against the rear windshield, and his hand was slipping off the steaming window. if anyone walked by—universe help your neighbor that worked late shifts and walked his dog at this hour—a vague, passive aggressive memo in the neighborhood newsletter would certainly find you.
the torn condom wrapper fell between the seats, lost in a reach-less nook of the car as seunghyun fucked you deep and good. the sound was wet and mind-numbing, the heel of your left foot resting on his lower back whilst he pummeled you. "f-fuck! just like that, just like that!" you gasped, your moan sounding intoxicatingly needy, fingers rummaging aimlessly through his hair. seunghyun was a sweaty mess, his hair sticking to his forehead as he boiled in his long sleeve. but he could not have given less of a fuck. you felt fucking divine. he needed this, every last second, every last drop. your gummy walls and puffy lips were a blessing he would thank whatever higher force that existed out there for the rest of his life. "just like that? yeah?" he grunted, looking down at the scene, watching his cock disappear and reappear. "s-such f-fucking good pussy—fuck!"
there's a digital camera you both share (he bought it for you for your one year anniversary), housing the archive of your relationship. there's tons of photos on numerous sd cards: a photo of you two kissing in front of a mirror, the camera covering your mouths even after seunghyun's hilariously laborious attempts at angling it correctly, photos of you looking so effortlessly beautiful in your bed; elbow propped on your pillow, palm holding your cheek, the glow of the portable dvd player evident on your face, or one you took of him in his bed after you imitated his low laugh which made him laugh even harder, photos of seunghyun climbing through your window with a shy, unexpected smile on your face or looking cool driving his car, lots of photos with friends, and at parties; one in particular of him pretending to eat your cheek and your wide smile, drink in hand. he can hear your laughter whenever he looks at it.
several months after your two year anniversary, seunghyun found himself at the mall. he was free for the rest of the day whilst you were in for another two lectures. but, of course, he was picking you up for dinner that evening. he perused for your graduation gift; settling for a perfume, a book by your favorite author, and two cds of musicians you loved. like clockwork, his eyes found and stayed on kay jewelers. but unlike before, he walked in. he found the engagement rings with ease, even going as far as to tell the consultant that he was thinking about getting married. however, seunghyun didn't walk out with a ring. he figured well, we should graduate first . . . get jobs . . . move in together . . . and then talk about marriage. he's been locked in since your first kiss, but that's besides the point. but there's no harm in starting to save up for that ring, is there . . .
honey's taglist! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა: @gongyoosgf, @infinetlyforgotten
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themusingsofthemind · 1 day ago
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It had been so long since that day.
The day the crows came, the day when all of my problems seemed to swallow me whole and take control of my life. Though i should note it was not in that order, nor was one the cause of the other.
Allow me to explain.
I had been set for a promotion, my girlfriend of three years had just proposed a year prior, and wedding planning could not have gone smoother. Not to mention I had a wonderful group of friends who understood me and my…demeanor.
I’d always been deemed “dark” or “apathetic” but my fiancée understood me in ways others couldn’t, and my friends were able to look past it and see the humor in my cutting words.
It started with a single text message.
DENIED
The promotion I had works so hard for? Given to the man I trained.
DELAYED
The wedding we had been planning? Postponed until my fiancée got back from her deployment overseas.
DISMISSED
And those friends? Ghosted me as soon as my fiancée left and wasn’t able to be a buffer.
With no fiancée here for support, no friends, and no job after I filed a complaint, I was broke and struggling to pay my bills.
Leaving me, a weeping, hiccuping, disaster of a woman sitting on our back porch with a 2/3-empty bottle of Prosecco and a half-eaten cheese tray from Walmart. I don’t know how long I was out there before they showed up.
“CAW” “CAW CAW”
A murder of crows stood in front of where I sat, staring at my mess of a self while I stared back in stupefied wonderment. Since I was young, I loved the dark and foreboding birds, and I had always remembered the mimicked voice after the day I rescued one from a clothesline.
“We…wiLl…ReTurN…ThE…faVoR…”
I laugh, a bit hysterically, and smile as kindly as I can while wiping my face. “Welcome”
The one closest to me tilts its head before cawing, and many of the murder step forward, dropping crumpled pieces of paper at my feet.
No. Not paper.
“Holy shit”
The closest one hopped closer, that same mimicked voice cawing, more clear than before,
“Crows take shiny…Human save crow…crow give human-shiny…”
And off they flew, leaving the pile of crumpled balls of green paper, emblazoned with numbers and faces. Money.
My heart leapt when the same murder left another pile the next day, and the next, and the next, until months had passed, glorious months where I didn’t have to worry about my bills or expenses, and I could talk with them if I ever needed an ear.
And when my fiancée finally came home? Our wedding went off without a hitch, the murder circling us overhead as we became wife and wife
You once saved a Crow from dying as a child. Even now that you are an adult, you still remember the Crow's words after you set it free back to its murder, "We… wiLL… RETurN… ThE… FAVor…"
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burreauxsss · 3 days ago
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future mrs.burrow
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background : one accidental post turns heads, which leads to y/n and joe coming clean to their relationship status. not without everyone speculating and judging though.
timeline: happens a few days before the nfl honors. so if you see the tweet dates are messed up ignore it.
(all pics off of pinterest. as always pretend some of these are bengals related)
note: wrote majority of this a week ago but the thread tweet and the nfl honors posts/ pictures are from this morning (feb 8th) , thought i'd give myself a break from tongue tied too.
warning: annoying tea page lmao iykyk, not proofread either
joe burrow x black reader smau
duexmoi
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❤️ 550,939 💬 13,293
Liked by: e! tmz and others
duexmoi: engaged? girlfriend of cincinnati bengals quarterback joe burrow y/n y/ln mysteriously posted a engagement ring and a bouquet of flowers then deleted the post a few seconds later.
y/n is notorious for meeting the quarterback at LSU where she then followed him to cincy in the nfl.
username_1: we all saw it coming.. right?
username_2: happy for her and joe either way.
username_3: he couldve done better.
username_4: i see how she acts around him, its like she puts on a act for that money. sign a prenup joe!!
username_5: that should be me. *load more comments*
y/n_handle
📍new orleans, la
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❤️ 40,293 💬 10,111
Liked by: joeyb_9
y/n_handle: bourbon street 🤍
joeyb_9: pretty photo just like the girl behind the camera username_6: we all know about the post.. username_7: are you glad to be back in your hometown? username_8: mrs burrow just come clean rn 😭 im tired of seeing these sick fangirls on my timeline..
username_9: duexmoi just lowkey exposed you *load more comments*
y/n_handle posted a story
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joeyb_9
📍new orleans, louisiana
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❤️ 1m 💬 423,945
Liked by: lahjay_10 jjettas2 lsufootball y/n_handle and others
joeyb_9: it's not a good award when you're nominated for it twice, but on a serious note, thank you training staff once again for helping me get back to 100. my family as a emotional support system and lastly my girlfriend for putting up with my tantrums and stupid questions while at home with me. ❤️
y/n_handle: love you so much, you deserve it all 9 🤍.
lahjay_10: well deserved.
lsufootball: louisiana's favorite son.
jjettas2: best qb out there.
bengals: same time, different award next season? *load more comments*
y/n_handle
📍new orleans, louisiana
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❤️ 125,701 💬 79,999
Liked by: joeyb_9 vogue and others
y/n_handle: so proud of my baby 🥹, a year ago nobody not even me or joe even knew if he would return as the same or better than ever. but he defied all odds and some. thank you god for year 5 and onto year 6.
joeyb_9: so pretty ❤️ *hearted by author* username_10: wheres the ring??
username_11: i see the ring on her finger.
username_12: are yall dumb.. thats a ring shes had since LSU.
username_13: hottest couple at the event.
username_14: the way joe looked at her in those red carpet pictures though.. and the hand placement??? username_15: he actually needs to put a wedding ring on it, shes a keeper. *load more comments*
duexmoi
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❤️ 365,984 💬 120,393
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duexmoi: could this engagement be a publicity stunt between y/n y/ln and joe burrow? a recap: a few days before the nfl honors y/n posted a engagement ring but quickly took it down and replaced it with a post about her day in new orleans. many are calling it a publicity stunt with even the rumors of her posting it because of ladies in his dms 👀.
the ring, a cartier ring with a customized diamond going up to $32,000.
username_16: if she confirms it before the news dies down everyone wont be as mad.
username_17: we all LOVE y/n so much as a wag
username_18: sign the prenup joe..
username_19: off topic, the ring is so pretty.
*load more comments*
y/n_handle posted a story
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caption: favorite fit this season from week 17 at broncos 🤍 also revealing something soon.
joeyb_9
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❤️ 1.5m 💬
Liked by: bengals lahjay_10 y/n_handle and others
joeyb_9: future mr and mrs burrow
*comments off* y/n_handle
📍new orleans la
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❤️ 987,423 💬 539,383
Liked by: bengals lahjay_10 tmz and others
y/n_handle: how lucky are we 🧡 joeyb_9: i love you (future) mrs burrow
lahjay_10: joe finally found someone who can put up with his bs forever!! (so I don't have to anymore)
joeyb_9: lahjay_10 keep that same energy, you arent getting the ball anytime next season
bengals: queen of cincinnati 🐅
username_20: i knew it!!!
username_21: that ring thoughhh
username_22: that should be me 💔 *load more comments*
note: almost my birthday month but do we like it or no??
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astrow1zar6 · 2 days ago
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Astro Observations~ 48
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Venus square Pluto men tend to have a really weird relationship with women. Can have a big love-hate relationship when it comes to women. I’ve seen these men treat their guy friends with more respect than their partners
Leo sun x Pisces sun mix in friendship is so underrated. They really match eachothers creativity & can inspire eachother a lot art wise
Jupiter in the 1st house makes someone very jolly naturally. Even if they are in a bad mood it rarely shows. Can also make someone pretty tall in a lot of cases (not all)
Cap risings can have very visible bones. Could’ve been told by others to “eat a sandwich “
You can feel more likely to create art or sing when the moon transit is in Pisces (even if you’re not the type to want to do that stuff on the regular).
Venus in the 8th house natives are very into hookup culture. Gets into a lot of unconventional relationships. Not really the types that wanna be “wifed up” I’ve noticed. They just here for a good time fr.
Pisces sun Aries moons are great manifestors (especially with an earth rising to stabilize the energy) with a cap rising for example I can imagine these people to be unstoppable when they have a goal.
Mars in Taurus’s usually prefer slower sex to fast sex. (Unless it’s in the 8th house) they are super sensual and want to enjoy every pleasure to the max. Going too fast can piss them off/leave them unsatisfied.
Venus in 2nd house synastry can have very long make out sessions together. Even if you aren’t comfortable with kissing this aspect will make you want to kiss them for HOURS.
Saturn in the 8th house people on the other hand kinda lack sensuality a lot of the time. They can skip foreplay and go straight to the act. Very “cold” sexual experiences.
Juno in the 1st house people are the best people to marry. Can attract some pretty selfish partners tho unfortunately:(
When a Gemini Venus has a crush on someone it’s like painfully obvious. Everyone usually already knows.
Jupiter in the 8th gives big 🍆 energy
Uranus in the 5th house are rarely ever fully single. The types to go on a lot of dates or dates someone outta nowhere or unexpectedly
Saturn in the 5th house have a natural awkwardness around their crushes
Venus in Libras pull game is so strong, they have so many admirers & ppl who have crushes on them
Having a Venus in retrograde in a detriment sign (Aries/scorpio) can make you come off as really rude to others or super vain
I also notice if not severely afflicted Venus in retrograde natives actually have a higher chance of marrying their soulmates than direct Venus natives
Taurus moons either have very a sloppy basic asf sense of fashion or its super chic & creative as hell no in between.
Lilith dominant women are usually treated like shit by other women a lot. Men can see them as someone they just wanna hook up with. It’s actually really sad what these people go thru.
Most fucked up friendship award goes to Pluto in the 11th house folks. Friends could’ve been really jealous of you or your relationship with other friends. Ur friends could also lack extreme boundaries with you and almost act more like a toxic partner. Friends get super obsessed & possessive of you!
Sun in the 9th house people have a gift usually for learning new languages. Could be the types to speak multiple languages.
Pisces mars can be super lazy. Could be the types to ask you to grab the the remote when it’s right next to them
Jupiter in the 4th house prevents you from being homeless. Regardless of your income you always tend to find a really spacious cute home.
People with a 10th house stellium are more likely to “fall in love” with their career. They are also really love $$.
Sun in the (1st, 5th & 11th) house people usually thrive in big social settings.
Sun in the 2nd house could be the breadwinners of the family. Could’ve been the first to break a poverty generational curse. Usually seen as the ones who “made it out the hood” iyk what I mean.
Venus in 2nd house natives face cards are LETHAL
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sincerelybubbles · 23 hours ago
Text
mouthful of sunlight (18+)
Some nights, Spencer can’t sleep. His mind runs too fast, too far, tangled in cases, in horrors he can’t unsee. But in the quiet of morning, wrapped in the hush of young sunlight, he finds solace in you—the warmth of your breath, the slow, steady rhythm of your fingers tracing his skin. The comfort is fleeting; distance is inevitable. His absence lingers in the empty side of the bed, in unfinished cups of coffee, in the soft weight of his sweater draped over your shoulders. But when he returns—exhausted, unraveling—you stitch him back together with soft reassurances, gentle hands, and the familiar ease of laughter. warnings: sexual content (who tf am I), very very wordy, mentions of a cannon-typical case, longing, some angst if you squint, mostly reader and spencer being lovesick fools wc: 7.6k
You wake to the sound of rain, soft against the windowpane. The sheets are warm, tangled around your limbs, heavy with the scent of sleep and him. Faint traces of his cologne linger in the cotton, something clean and quiet, the ghost of him woven into the fabric.
Spencer is still asleep beside you.
You turn your head, slow, deliberate - shifting too fast might startle him awake. And there he is, curled into the pillow, his body half-buried beneath the blankets, face softened by the hush of morning. His breath moves through the space between you in slow, measured exhales, lips parted slightly, lashes resting against his cheekbone.
You could spend lifetimes watching him like this.
The curve of his mouth, the way his curls press against his forehead, the fine lines at the corners of his eyes—the ones you're not sure he knows about yet. You think the mentioning of them would send him into a spiral about aging and lost time but you love their presence. It reminds you of how he's laughed with you in the past, their arrival a notion of his genuine joy. The body keeps score in freckles and scars, and time can be found in the weight of sleepless nights and too many days spent carrying more than he should.
In sleep, he is weightless. The tension he wears so often—creased brows, tight shoulders, fingers restless against his knee—has melted away, leaving only the quiet.
You reach for him before you can think of it, fingers trailing over the ridge of his knuckles where his hand rests on the pillow between you. His skin is warm, his palm lax, open. He doesn't stir so you let yourself press further, sliding your fingertips up the length of his wrist, feeling the slow pulse beneath his skin.
Spencer Reid is always thinking. Always calculating, always predicting, always existing a step ahead, untethered from the present moment.
But, right now, wrapped in the hush of morning, doused in soft rainlight, he belongs here. With you.
The thought is terrifying in its simplicity.
You swallow, pressing your fingers a little firmer against his wrist, grounding yourself in the proof of him. His pulse beats steady against your touch, and you let it lull you, let yourself fall into its rhythm.
Spencer stirs beneath your touch, just the faintest twitch of his fingers against the pillow.
You go still.
A part of you—the part still tangled in hesitation, in old wounds and old fears—worries he’ll wake, that he’ll blink at you with those sharp, knowing eyes and startle away the calm you've fostered. You love Spencer, asleep or awake, but the peacefulness of this moment is something to be cherished. You want to watch him more, to exist in this lulling moment between seconds where life doesn't matter.
He doesn't wake, though, and instead, he shifts closer, instinctive, unconscious. The space between you vanishes, his breath warming your collarbone, his hand brushing against your arm where it lies between you. He is reaching for you without realizing it, drawn in like something inevitable.
And god, that does something to you.
You exhale, slow, careful, and let yourself watch him again, let yourself sink into the quiet reverence of it.
The morning light has stretched further now, slanting through the window, gliding through the messy sprawl of his hair. He is all sleep-heavy limbs, the weight of him pressing into the mattress in a way that drags you forward, leaning against him.
Flesh and bone, heartbeat and heat.
He is here. He is yours.
The way he leans into you even in sleep, the way his fingers twitch like they are searching for yours, even now. The way his body gives him away, whispering the things his lips have not yet said.
You cannot be careless with this. With him. But before the weight of it can settle too deeply into your chest, before you can let yourself spiral, Spencer shifts again—his breath catching, his brow furrowing just slightly, lashes fluttering against his cheeks.
You barely have time to think before his eyes blink open, slow and heavy-lidded, thick with sleep.
It takes a moment, his hazy eyes focusing and unfocusing. Still, he sees you. Not just looks, not just registers your presence; he sees you.
His lips part slightly, and for a moment, he only stares, like his mind is still catching up, like he’s still tethered somewhere between dreaming and waking. Blinking like he's not sure if you're a dream. Likely, everything is clouded by sleepy eyes and fading memories of dreams.
Then, his voice, quiet, still wrapped in the softness of sleep, “Morning.”
You don’t trust yourself to speak, so you do the only thing you can—you lift your hand, still resting near his wrist, and press your fingers over his pulse once more. A quiet confirmation. A tethering.
Spencer exhales, slow, deliberate, and then he turns his hand, just slightly, just enough, so that his palm meets yours.
His fingers curl between yours, and you feel it—the certainty, the weight of something unspoken settling between your ribs.
There is morning, and then there is night.
There is sunlight spilling over Spencer’s sleeping form, gilding his cheekbones, illuminating the curve of his mouth. And then there is the stark contrast of shadow—of sterile hotel rooms, of the sharp, artificial glow of a bedside lamp casting his face in harsh relief.
His fingers, curled loosely around yours in the golden hush of morning, become hands gripping the edge of a desk, knuckles white, trembling with exhaustion. His voice, soft and thick with sleep, morphs into something raw, something fraying at the edges.
"I don’t know how to turn it off."
It takes you a moment to realize what he means.
He’s still in his suit, the fabric rumpled, the scent of cheap motel soap clinging to his skin. There’s a stack of case files beside him, a half-empty cup of coffee that’s long since gone cold. He doesn’t meet your gaze, just stares down at his hands, fingers twitching like they’re desperate for something to hold onto.
"Spencer."
Your voice is quiet, hesitant, as if anything louder might shatter him completely.
"Come to bed."
He shakes his head, exhales sharply, dragging a hand through his hair.
"I can’t."
A fight, sharp and cutting. His voice raised, your hands clenched into fists at your sides.
"You don’t get it," he snaps, voice raw, eyes burning. "You don’t know what it’s like to have a mind that never fucking stops—"
"I do," you interrupt, and the way he flinches makes your chest ache.
A pause.
Silence stretching between you like a wound torn open, bleeding into the space between your feet.
Spencer exhales, shakily, and when he speaks again, his voice is barely above a whisper.
"Then why do you keep trying to fix me?"
And there it is.
The knife twisting.
You inhale, but the breath never quite fills your lungs.
The thing is—you don’t want to fix him.
You just want him to rest.
To sleep without nightmares. To let you hold him without feeling like he has to apologize for the weight of his existence. To believe, even for a second, that he doesn’t have to earn the space he takes up.
But you don’t know how to say that in a way that won’t turn into another wound, another reason for him to step back, to pull away.
So instead, you say nothing.
"Fuck. I'm sorry." And it's that simple, really.
Sorry, arms finding each other, whispers of "I know" pressed into necks and soft conversations easing racing minds.
Spencer can't stop the relentless chase of the case in his mind. You can't stop the constant overthinking of being enough, of your body, of desires edging into too much.
Morning. Again.
Spencer, golden in the dawn, the soft breath of sleep still heavy in his lungs. Your fingers ghost over the ridges of his knuckles, tracing the delicate architecture of him, the places where bones knit together beneath skin. Flesh and blood. A body, human and whole.
Then, blood, dark and seeping through the gaps in his fingers, staining his cuffs. Not his blood. Someone else’s. A case. A mistake. A man who didn’t survive the night.
His hands shake as he scrubs them raw in the motel sink, crimson swirling down the drain, his breath coming too fast, chest rising and falling like he’s drowning, like he can feel it slipping between his fingers, the weight of every life he couldn’t save.
You touch his shoulder, and he flinches.
Time lurches.
His head on your lap, hours later. His hair damp, fingers curled weakly in the fabric of your shirt, like holding onto you is the only thing tethering him to the present.
"I don’t know how much more of this I can take."
Morning.
Back in your bed, the light different now, stretched across the sheets in delicate bands. You can’t tell if you’re awake or dreaming.
You wonder if this moment is real, or if it is something you are inventing to survive.
Spencer shifts beside you, a quiet sigh escaping him, and you watch, desperate to memorize the shape of him here, untouched by grief, by the heaviness of what he carries.
You want to wake up to this every morning.
But the truth is, you don’t.
You wake up to the version of him that drinks too much coffee, to the one who is always looking at things that aren’t there, playing scenarios in his head like a film reel stuck on loop. You wake up to the version of him that gets lost in thought mid-conversation, who chews at his nails until they bleed, who flinches awake from dreams he won’t tell you about.
And you love him anyway.
Maybe because of it.
Or maybe you are lying to yourself, pretending love is something you can bear no matter how heavy it gets.
Mornings like this, where he sleeps beside you, still and warm and untouched by the weight of the world—stretch, slow and unhurried, slipping into the day like honey dissolving in warm tea.
Spencer moves through your apartment with the careful quiet of someone who knows how to exist in shared spaces—how to make himself at home without ever taking up too much of it. He is measured, gentle, a man who has spent too much of his life folding himself into small places, and yet, with you, he expands.
You watch him from where you stand at the kitchen counter, hands wrapped around a chipped ceramic mug, warmth seeping into your palms. The coffee is slightly too bitter, but you drink it anyway, because Spencer made it. Because he takes his with too much sugar and no milk, and you take yours with just a little, and the contrast is something you love.
The morning light catches in his hair as he moves about the kitchen, curling slightly at the ends where sleep left it unruly. He wears his clothes loose in the morning—his pajama pants low on his hips, his sweater slightly too big, slipping past his wrists when he reaches for things. He is soft here, unguarded in the way that makes your chest ache.
You don’t say anything when he hums under his breath, something classical, a song you don’t recognize but have heard him play before on nights when he lets the record spin long past midnight.
You don’t say anything when he pours his coffee with one hand and flips absentmindedly through the book he left on the counter with the other.
But you do say something when he starts reading aloud.
“You know, according to the Journal of Neuroscience, studies show that sleep inertia—”
“Spencer,” you interrupt, smiling into your mug.
He pauses, blinking at you, book still in hand. “What?”
You shake your head, setting your coffee down, stepping toward him until you can reach for the book, plucking it gently from his fingers. He lets you take it, watching as you slide it onto the counter behind you, clearing the space between you.
“We’re supposed to be waking up,” you murmur. “Not filling our brains with research before we’ve even eaten breakfast.”
Spencer tilts his head, eyes flickering over your face like he’s considering it. Then, his lips curve, slow and warm. “That’s how I do wake up.”
You roll your eyes, but there’s no bite to it. You both know that you love when Spencer rambles, miss it when he's gone, call him craving the sound of his voice when he's away on trips. “Come here.”
You reach for him, and he comes easily, stepping into the space you make for him, folding himself against you like he belongs there.
Maybe that’s the point of all of this—not two people standing side by side, but two people learning how to take up the same space, how to move around each other without losing themselves in the process.
Spencer exhales as you press your cheek to his shoulder, hands slipping around his waist, fingers curling into the soft fabric of his sweater. His arms come around you in return, slow and careful, pressing you against him like he knows exactly how to hold you.
The shape of each other, the cadence of shared breath, the quiet rhythm of a love that is not loud or fast or reckless, but something slow and deliberate.
Spencer is slow to let you go.
Even as you shift, even as you move to pull back, his fingers tighten just slightly at your waist, anchoring you there for a moment longer. You don’t resist. You let yourself be held, let yourself stay.
But then his stomach growls. Loudly.
You grin against his shoulder. “Well, that’s attractive.”
Spencer groans, burying his face in your neck. “I knew I should have eaten before I went to bed.”
You laugh, pressing your hands to his sides. “Come on, genius. Let’s get you some food before you start reading case files on malnutrition.”
He sighs, exaggerated, but finally steps back, rubbing a hand over his face as you turn toward the stove. “I do have a study on nutritional deficiencies and cognitive function bookmarked somewhere.”
You glance at him over your shoulder, raising an eyebrow. “You have studies bookmarked on everything.”
Spencer shrugs, completely unapologetic, and moves to lean against the counter beside you, watching as you pull out a frying pan. He doesn’t help—doesn’t even pretend to help—but he does reach for the bag of coffee grounds again, refilling your mug and his, making himself useful in the way he always does.
“You want eggs?” you ask, already cracking one against the rim of the pan.
He hums, peering into the fridge. “Only if you make them the way I like.”
“You mean, as you proclaimed the first time you stayed over, the right way?”
“Yes,” he says simply.
Neither of you mention how he burned them immediately after, distracted by kissing you in the early light filtering through the curtains of the kitchen window.
You huff, but it’s all affection, and he knows it.
Spencer doesn’t sit while you cook. He doesn’t retreat to the table or get lost in a book. He stays right here, a constant presence at your side, sipping his coffee, occasionally nudging your hip with his when you get too focused.
When you plate the food, he takes his with an approving nod. “See? Perfectly cooked.”
“They;re just scrambled, picky,” you tease, nudging him toward the kitchen table with your hip.
Spencer grins, mouth full of toast. “I have standards.”
You snort, setting your plate down across from him. “Oh, I know. That’s why you’re dating me.”
He swallows, takes a sip of coffee, and then, without missing a beat, says, “No, I’m dating you because I’m in love with you.”
Your breath catches.
He says it so easily.
No hesitation. No grand declaration. Just a fact, spoken between bites of breakfast, like it’s something he’s known for years.
You blink, lips parting slightly, and Spencer—Spencer, who notices everything—tilts his head, eyes softening.
“Hey,” he murmurs, reaching across the table, brushing his fingers against yours. “I didn’t mean to—”
“No,” you say quickly, shaking your head, covering his hand with yours. “No, I—I just—”
You exhale, glancing down at where your hands meet, at the gentle press of his fingers against yours. Then, quieter: “I love you, too.”
The corner of his mouth lifts, slow, small, but full of something deep, something certain.
“I know,” he murmurs, thumb tracing slow circles against your skin. “But I still like hearing it.”
And so you say it again, just for him.
Just because he likes hearing it.
“I love you.” Spencer smiles.
After breakfast, Spencer lingers at the table while you move about the apartment, rinsing dishes, wiping crumbs from the counter. It’s a soft sort of silence. When you pass by him, his hand brushes against your hip, absentminded but full of intent, a touch that says I know you’re here. I know you’re mine.
You catch his wrist, squeezing gently before letting go.
Neither of you speak as you make your way toward the bedroom, but Spencer follows, because of course he does. Because his place is beside you, moving with you, orbiting within the same small universe.
Inside, the morning light has stretched further across the bed, creeping in golden streaks over the fabric. The air is warm with the scent of sleep, of coffee, of him.
Spencer moves first, tugging his sweater over his head and tossing it onto the bed. His hair goes staticky, curls fluffed from the fabric, and you reach out instinctively, smoothing them back into place. He stills beneath your touch, the corners of his lips twitching.
“You’re going to make it worse,” he murmurs.
“Probably.” You grin, carding your fingers through the strands anyway, just for the sake of touching him.
Spencer huffs a laugh, but he doesn’t move away.
You let him slip his fingers beneath the hem of your shirt, lifting it over your head in one fluid motion. Let him reach for the zipper of your trousers, sliding it down with the same care you’d shown him.
There’s nothing rushed about it.
Nothing frantic, nothing heated. Just this. Just hands smoothing over fabric, fingers brushing against skin in passing, the quiet, unspoken promise of I know you. I love you. Let me show you.
Spencer tilts his head, gaze flickering down, not to your lips, but to the hollow of your throat, where your pulse flutters beneath your skin. He watches it like a scholar studying something precious like he’s measuring the exact rhythm of you, the precise way you exist in this moment.
And then, with all the patience in the world, he leans in.
Not rushed. Not desperate. Like he has all the time in the world to memorize you.
His lips brush your jaw first—so soft it could almost be nothing, just a breath, just a thought of touch. Then, lower, trailing warmth along the delicate line of your neck, the curve of your shoulder.
Your fingers find his wrists, not to stop him, but to hold him there, to feel the heat of him seeping into your skin.
You shift—not much, just enough to press closer, enough to let your forehead rest against his, enough to let his breath mingle with yours.
His hands slide higher, fingertips grazing the curve of your ribs, the warmth of his palms bleeding through the fabric like sunlight through frosted glass.
Like he understands, without either of you saying it, that this is the sacred part. Not the wanting, not even the having, but the holding. The staying.
He presses his lips to your temple, soft and sure, and you feel it—the weight of love settling between your ribs, deep and real.
“I want you,” he murmurs, voice low, full of something aching.
You shudder, your fingers tightening around his wrists. “You have me,” you whisper.
Spencer swallows, pressing his forehead against yours again, his hands gripping you just a little tighter as he breathes you in.
You feel his adoration in the way he moves—hesitant, reverent. Like he’s unraveling you thread by thread, pulling you apart just to piece you back together in the way only he knows how.
His fingers ghost over the curve of your waist, not grasping, not pulling, just feeling.
Your breath catches when he finally presses closer, the full weight of him sinking into you, a slow collapse into something inevitable. His body is warm, radiating heat like a fever, like a star burning too close to your skin. You curl your fingers into the fabric of his shirt, twisting it tight in your grip, grounding yourself in the weight of him.
He exhales against your jaw, warm and unsteady.
“Look at me,” he murmurs.
You do.
And god, it’s unbearable—the way his eyes search yours, wide and dark and pleading.
His breath stutters when you reach up, cradling his face in your hands, fingertips skimming the sharp angle of his cheekbone. He leans into your touch like it’s instinct, his lashes fluttering, his lips parting slightly, his chest rising and falling in time with yours.
“Spencer,” you whisper, his name slipping from your lips like a prayer.
He answers you with a kiss.
Not rushed, not desperate. His lips move against yours, unhurried but insistent, a careful exploration, a patient claiming. His nose brushes yours, his breath mingling with yours, the quiet sounds of longing pressing into the spaces between you.
You sigh into his mouth, and he shudders, his fingers tightening against your ribs.
“Again,” he whispers.
So you kiss him again. And again. And again.
Until the space between you is nothing, until your bodies are tangled in sheets and sighs and whispered names, until everything is breath and warmth and wanting.
His hands find yours, fingers threading together, clinging, pressing, grounding. His forehead rests against yours, his breath uneven, his body trembling with the weight of this.
“I want you,” he whispers, voice wrecked, shaking, repeating himself.
You tighten your grip on his hands, pulling him closer. “I know,” you breathe. “I know.”
And when he moves again, when his lips find yours with a new kind of urgency, you know—you feel it in your bones—this isn’t just wanting. It’s everything.
Spencer kisses you like he’s searching for something.
Like the answer to every unsolvable equation is pressed between your lips, tucked beneath your tongue, hidden in the soft give of your sighs.
And you let him.
Because you know this—this rhythm, this language you’ve built together. The slow pull of hands over fabric, the careful way he unravels you. The heat that grows between you, steady and unrelenting, like a pot left to boil over.
Spencer exhales sharply when your fingers find the sharp ridge of his collarbone. You press your lips there, breathing him in, and he shivers.
Spencer is reaching for you again, already fitting his hands to the curve of your back, already tilting his head to press open-mouthed kisses to your shoulder, your throat, the place just beneath your ear that makes you sigh.
“We’re going to be late,” you murmur, though you don’t mean it.
Spencer hums, his lips still pressed against your skin. “I don’t care.”
You laugh—a breathy, delighted sound that he swallows with his next kiss, his hands smoothing over your ribs, pressing warmth into your skin.
His trousers slide lower on his hips, and he makes a sound—low, breathless, almost dazed.
And then—“I’m sorry,” he murmurs suddenly, against the corner of your mouth.
You blink, pulse stuttering. “For what?”
“For all the times I haven’t been here.” His fingers tighten at your waist, like he’s grounding himself in the weight of you, in the proof that you are here. “For leaving. For missing too much. For—”
You don’t let him finish.
You press your lips to his, pouring everything into it—forgiveness, love, understanding.
When you break apart, your voice is quiet but sure. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”
Spencer exhales, shaky and relieved, and then—
Then he laughs, something soft and breathless, because you’ve pushed his trousers past his hips and now they’re tangled around his ankles, and it’s clumsy, and it’s human, and neither of you can bring yourselves to care.
Your own clothes follow, piece by piece, scattered and forgotten, because this is more important.
Spencer is warm everywhere, all golden skin and careful hands and parted lips. He hovers over you, his breath fanning over your cheek, his fingers tracing slow, reverent paths down your arms, your sides, like he’s still memorizing you.
And when you reach for him, guiding him closer, pulling him in, he exhales a sound—soft, broken, something like ah, like yes, like finally.
You sigh into him, arching, meeting him where he waits, and the warmth between you turns molten, turns necessary.
Spencer presses his forehead to yours, his breath uneven, his fingers twining with yours in the sheets.
“I love you,” he whispers.
And you—You're lost in the heat, the smell of him. The gentle movement as there's nothing left but you and him and him and him.
"Ah, Spencer," you breathe, and he shushes you.
"I know, I know."
It's quiet, it's breathy laughs, it's warmth building building buildig until something cracks - it has to, it's necessary, it's perfect and lovely and hot honey dripping down your thighs to gather into something greater, something perfect, something more.
It should be impossible, the way you fit together.
Like something sculpted by hands that knew what they were doing, shaping flesh and bone with deliberate care, pressing you into each other until there is no separation, no beginning or end. A seamless thing. Thread looping over itself, over and over and over into infinity. Until it cannot be separated from itself, until it is one ball of mass and moving and friction.
Heat and pressure and warmth build into something more, more more. Spencer is calling your name as if you are lost, you're grasping his back to remind him you're right here.
He tumbles and you're stuck on the edge, unable to follow. It's a brilliant thing, watching him. Eyes screwed shut, tightly. Breath coming out in spurts and spasms. Love, love, love. Pouring out of him and into you.
It's warm, so so warm, and nearly enough to send you to the place of glass shattering and pleasure fluttering and complete unity.
It isn't until Spencer's hips are faltering that he notices you there, hanging on the precipice of masterpieces yet unknown.
"Oh, lovely. I've got you, it's me. I'm here, I've got you," whispered reassurances pressed into your hair, your ear, your cheek, as he moves.
And you fall after him, tumbling down into something safe and known and foreign and unlearnable.
When you clatter back onto Earth, Spencer is warm against you, chest rising and falling in the slow, steady rhythm of shared breath. His fingers—long, elegant, familiar—trace mindless patterns against your arm, mapping you the way he memorizes pages, theories, entire histories. As if you are something to be learned, something to be understood.
As if he hasn’t already written you into the marrow of his bones.
Your limbs are tangled in the sheets, in each other, some quiet aftershock of connection humming between your skin. He shifts, pressing a lazy kiss to your temple, the edge of your jaw, the corner of your lips, his breath still heavy with you.
Whole. Uninterrupted.
Until—
A loud grumble splits the silence, echoing off the walls.
Spencer stills.
You blink.
And then—
Your stomach rumbles again, louder this time, an undignified protest against your distraction.
Spencer bursts into laughter.
It’s warm, breathless, human, cracking through the solemn weight of the moment like lightning through a storm. He drops his head against your shoulder, shaking with it, his entire body vibrating with amusement.
“Oh my God,” you groan, covering your face with your hands.
Spencer’s still laughing when he rolls onto his back, his hand dragging down his face as he tries to compose himself. He fails, utterly, letting out another breathy chuckle before turning his head to look at you.
“I’m sorry,” he says between soft huffs of breath, his eyes bright with mirth. “It was just—so poetic, so profound—and then your stomach actually growled.”
You peek at him between your fingers. “You're going to give me shit when you essentially did the same thing earlier?" You ask, aghast. Spencer nods his head, cheeky smile overtaking his face.
You groan again, but it’s half-hearted, because Spencer is still laughing, and it’s the kind of sound you’d willingly make a fool of yourself for, over and over again, just to hear it.
"Did you not have any of your stellar eggs?" Spencer asks, pulling away from you.
You both wince as connection is lost, resisting the urge to pull him back in again, to be selfish and keep the warmth of him near.
He stretches, arms raised above his head, back cracking. You stay still, stretched across the bed as he moves into your bathroom and wets a washcloth.
"No, I don't really like scrambled."
Spencer hesitates, at the foot of the bed, one knee propped up on the edge. "What?" He asks, frozen, still as a statue.
"I'll eat them but this morning they were too eggy."
"Too eggy," Spencer mutters, voice aghast, cleaning you before pinching your thigh playfully. "Come on, time to get you to work."
The moment lingers, shifting into something softer, something easy.
And then—
You’re standing in the kitchen, hours later, Spencer in his undershirt, stirring a pot of something that smells like warmth, like home.
Your stomach grumbles again.
Spencer smirks, not even turning around. “Should I start reciting poetry, or—”
You throw a dish towel at him.
||||
There is the weight of Spencer pressed against you in the morning, the heat of his breath on your skin, the steady rhythm of his fingers tracing patterns into your ribs. And then there is the cold side of the bed, the imprint of him faded from the sheets, the silence of an empty apartment that settles like dust in your lungs.
He’s gone.
Not forever. Neer forever.
But the difference between knowing something and feeling it is vast, and this morning, you feel it.
The bed is too big. The air is too still. The coffee is too bitter without his absentminded habit of adding too much sugar to the pot when he thinks you aren’t looking.
His absence moves through the space like a ghost, turning everyday things into echoes of him.
A book left open on the table, spine cracked, a scrap of paper sticking out with notes in the margins.
A half-full mug beside the sink. He always assures you he'll finish it later but never does. You don't mind, savoring the reminder of him when he leaves in the middle of the day with little notice.
The sweater he left draped over the back of a chair, smelling like warmth, like him, like something undone.
You exhale, pressing your fingers to the edge of the table as if grounding yourself, as if it might keep you tethered.
You knew this would happen.
It always does—cases that stretch into days, weeks, phone calls that come at odd hours, the sound of his voice wrapped in exhaustion and apologies, the waiting, the not-knowing.
You reach for your own coffee, cradling it between your palms, letting the heat seep into your fingers.
Your phone buzzes. A message. Short, simple.
Spencer: I miss you.
The breath in your chest stutters.
Your fingers hover over the keyboard, a response forming before you can even think about it.
You: I miss you too. It’s too quiet here.
Three dots appear. Pause. Disappear.
You wait, staring at the screen, willing the space between you to close, even just a little.
Spencer: I’ll call you tonight. Stay in my sweater until then.
You let out a breath, something soft, something caught between a laugh and a sigh. You reach for it, slipping it over your shoulders, wrapping yourself in the remnants of warmth.
It’s not the same.
But for now, it will have to be enough.
||||
The door unlocks with a quiet click.
You don’t move right away.
You should—should stand, should cross the room, should meet him in the doorway. But instead, you sit still, curled into the couch, the weight of waiting still heavy in your limbs, pressing you down.
Footsteps. Familiar, careful.
“Hey,” Spencer murmurs, quiet, hesitant, like he isn’t sure if you’re asleep, if he should wake you, if he’s allowed to break the silence.
You inhale sharply, and that’s what does it—what snaps the moment in two. You push up from the couch, feet hitting the floor, your body moving before your mind catches up.
You are in his arms.
He exhales sharply at the impact, his bag slipping from his shoulder, his arms wrapping around you with something desperate, something relieved, like he’s been waiting for this moment just as much as you have.
The scent of him—faint cologne, the sterile bite of too many hotels, the quiet warmth that is Spencer—hits you all at once. You press your face into his shoulder, fingers curling into the fabric of his jacket, holding tight.
“You’re back,” you breathe, and it’s obvious, unnecessary, but you need to say it, need to hear it, need to confirm it.
Spencer laughs—soft, exhausted, fond. “I’m back.”
You feel the words vibrate through him, feel the shape of them beneath your hands, the weight of them settling between your ribs.
“Did you miss me?” You laugh, a quiet, breathy thing, your grip tightening on his jacket.
“Not at all,” you say, pulling back just enough to look at him, to see him. His face is tired, his eyes a little shadowed, but there’s something soft there, something bright just beneath the surface.
His lips twitch. “Liar.”
You hum, tilting your chin up just slightly, brushing your nose against his, letting the warmth between you settle.
“Say it anyway,” he murmurs.
So you do. “I missed you, Spence.”
His breath stumbles and he kisses you.
It’s not rushed. It’s not desperate. It’s homecoming, warmth where there was once cold. It’s touch where there was once absence. It’s the quiet, certain return of something that never really left.
It takes a while for Spencer to let go and, even when he does, he keeps a hand on you. Not even after the kiss fades into breaths, not even after his bag is abandoned by the door, not even after you’ve guided him toward the couch, pressing your hands to his shoulders until he sinks into the cushions with a sigh.
You don’t ask him about the case.
Not yet.
Instead, you move around him, nudging his shoes off with your foot, smoothing his hair back from his face, pressing your fingers into the stiff muscles at the back of his neck. His eyes flutter shut, and he exhales slow, like he’s unspooling one spiraling thread at a time.
“You look exhausted,” you murmur, brushing your knuckles over his cheek.
“I feel worse,” he admits, cracking one eye open to look at you. “I think I might actually be a ghost.”
You hum, tilting your head. Slowly, you press a finger into the center of his chest, thumping it against his sternum twice. “I don’t know, you feel pretty solid to me.”
Spencer lets out a breathy chuckle, shaking his head. “Okay, fine. Maybe I’m only part ghost.” He waves a hand in the air, "I hover between realms, or whatever those silly books you read would say."
“Well,” you say, ignoring the dig at your admittedly less-academic reading preferences, pressing your lips to his temple, lingering, “if you were a ghost, you’d be a talkative one. Following me around, rambling about hauntings and historic criminal cases—”
Spencer scoffs. “I’d be a great ghost.”
“Would you?”
“I’d be an educational ghost.”
You snort, letting your fingers trail down his arm, wrapping your hand around his wrist, pressing against the pulse there. “I think I prefer you educational and alive.”
Spencer smiles, but it’s softer now, more worn, and when he leans into you, it’s not just playful—it’s relief.
You shift, curling into him, letting him fold himself against you like he’s been waiting for it for days. He buries his face against your shoulder, his breath warm against your skin, and you feel the tension still lingering in him, the weight of something else.
Something he’s not saying. So you just hold him.
One hand drifts into his hair, threading through the soft curls, the other smoothing over his back, steady, slow. His fingers flex against your side, gripping, holding, grounding. He sighs, deep, exhausted, pressing closer like he’s trying to escape something.
You kiss the crown of his head. “You don’t have to tell me,” you whisper. “But you can.”
Spencer is quiet for a long moment, his breathing uneven, his fingers still pressed into your skin. “The case was a little boy,” he murmurs, barely above a breath. “He lost his—” His voice wavers, and he swallows hard. “His whole family. We nearly didn't find him in time."
It's the most he can give you, the most that the public has probably heard, too, but it's enough to impress upon you the true horrors he's facing.
You close your eyes, tightening your arms around him. “Spencer.”
He shakes his head, shifting just enough to rest his forehead against your collarbone. “I just—I keep thinking about him. How small he looked. How scared.”
You press your lips together, blinking hard, willing yourself to keep it together for him. “I’m sorry,” you whisper, voice thick. “I know that doesn’t help, but I am.”
Spencer exhales shakily, nodding against your skin. “It helps.”
You don’t know if that’s true, but you keep holding him anyway. Keep smoothing your hands down his back, keep whispering his name, keep pressing your lips to his temple, his cheek, the corner of his mouth, like you can will the heaviness away.
“I’ve got you,” you murmur against his skin. “You’re home.”
Spencer lets out a slow, shuddering breath. “Yeah,” he whispers. “I am.”
Spencer doesn't move much, pressed against you, letting himself be held. His breathing steadies, his hands no longer gripping like he’s afraid of being pulled away.
You shift, just slightly, pressing your cheek against the top of his head. “You wanna do something mindless for a bit? Watch bad TV? Read a book with no footnotes? Stare at a wall together?”
Spencer snorts, muffled against your skin. “Tempting.”
“I'm very persuasive when I want to be.”
“That’s one word for it.”
You pull back just enough to look at him, narrowing your eyes. “Excuse me?”
Spencer finally lifts his head, and there’s something lighter in his expression now, the weight of the case still lingering, but no longer pressing quite so hard against the edges of his mind.
He shifts, settling further into the couch, his knee bumping against yours. “You bullied me into watching a terrible documentary about haunted dolls last time I came back from a case.”
Your mouth falls open in offense. “It was informative!”
Spencer levels you with a flat look. “It was ninety minutes of a guy holding up dolls to the camera and whispering ‘Do you hear that?’”
You press your lips together, fighting back a laugh. “Okay, maybe it wasn’t the most scientific—”
“There was a scene transition shaped like a skull.”
“You didn’t have to watch it!”
Spencer gestures at himself dramatically. “I was physically incapacitated by exhaustion!”
You shove at his shoulder, laughing now, and he catches your wrist easily, pressing a quick, warm kiss to the inside of it before letting you go. The gesture is so easy, so thoughtless, that your chest goes tight with it.
Spencer sighs, shifting so he’s half-leaning against you again, pressing his forehead briefly to your shoulder before pulling back. “But,” he admits, softer now, “it was kind of nice. Sitting with you. Not thinking for a bit.”
You hum, tucking your legs beneath you, leaning into his warmth. “I am great at the whole ‘not thinking’ thing.”
Spencer huffs a laugh. “That’s not what I meant.”
“You sure? I distinctly remember you asking me how I manage to not overanalyze things while I was eating a bowl of cereal the other day.”
“That was—” He pauses, brows knitting together. “Okay, yes, but that’s because you were reading the cereal box like it was literature.”
“It was a compelling narrative, Spencer.”
He tilts his head. “The ingredients list?”
“The lucky leprechaun’s backstory,” you clarify.
Spencer just stares at you.
You grin, nudging his knee. “It’s called escapism, genius.”
Spencer shakes his head, exhaling something close to a laugh-sigh, then shifts again, tucking himself more comfortably against your side.
"Unless you're calling me dumb," you muse, not ready to give up teasing him. He takes the bait easily.
"I would never say that-"
"i'm pretty certain that's what I'm hearing."
"Absolutely not." You sit silently, humming dramatically, hoping for a compliment that you're sure is to come. "You're one of the smartest people I've met, actually. That's why your taste in books and documentaries appalls me."
"You're good at groveling, Dr. Reid."
He doesn't answer, chuckling and pressing his lips against your shoulder in response instead.
After a moment, his fingers brush against yours, hesitant for only a second before twining them together. Quiet settles between you again—not heavy this time, not suffocating. Just easy. Just you and him. Spencer squeezes your fingers lightly, voice soft when he speaks again.
“You make coming home easy.”
Your throat goes tight, and you squeeze back. The shift in tone is palpable. You long to linger in the feeling of warmth and safety and the earnest way he mumbles it. “Good,” you murmur, pressing your forehead to his temple. “Because you are home.”
Spencer exhales, slow and steady. “Yeah,” he whispers. “I know.”
You don’t move immediately after Spencer settles against you, letting his weight sink into the couch, his fingers loosely tangled with yours. He’s relaxed now, softer, the weight of the week still lingering in his tired eyes but no longer pressing quite so hard on his shoulders.
It’s the perfect time to strike.
You reach for the remote, flicking through streaming options with intense purpose.
Spencer glances at you, suspicious. “What are you doing?”
“Putting something on to help you unwind.”
His eyes narrow. “What kind of something?”
You hum innocently. “Oh, you’ll see.”
Spencer watches as you select a YouTube documentary—one you know is riddled with inaccuracies, one that will absolutely send him into a spiral.
The second the dramatic narration begins, Spencer physically tenses.
You stifle a smile. You watched it when he was gone, something mind-numbing after a long day at work, and have been waiting to see his reaction to the ridiculous claims of the conspiracies.
The documentary wastes no time getting things wrong.
A sweeping shot of pyramids. An ominous, overly intense musical score. And then, in bold, serious tones:
"The ancient Egyptians, known for their fascination with aliens—"
Spencer inhales sharply, head snapping toward you, eyes wide with horror. “Their fascination with WHAT?”
You shrug, biting your lip. “Aliens, love. Keep up.”
Spencer throws his hands in the air. “Ancient Egyptian society was a highly advanced civilization with remarkable achievements in engineering, mathematics, and medicine—why does everything have to be aliens?”
You pat his knee comfortingly. “Shh. The experts are speaking.”
He turns back to the screen just in time to hear the narrator say:
"Some theorists believe the Sphinx was originally a statue of a dog, not a lion."
Spencer physically jolts, glaring at you again.
“A dog?” he scoffs.
You bite back laughter. “I don’t know, Spence. It kinda looks like a dog if you squint.”
He looks betrayed. “It doesn't. I know you don't think it does.”
You hum thoughtfully, pretending to study the screen. “Maybe, like, a bulldog?”
Spencer presses the heels of his palms into his eyes like he’s in pain. Give me the remote. There's a better, actual documentary, about 1940s Germany that I wanted to show you instead of this-” he gestures toward the screen, "garbage."
You grin, nudging his side. “Oh, you love it.”
“I do not—”
A new segment starts, this one even worse, featuring a so-called “historian” confidently stating that the Romans invented cheese.
Spencer makes a noise nearly resembling a laugh and you know you've got him.
“No they didn't," he says, deadpan, shaking his head and clicking off of the video.
You lose it. You cackle, curling into his side, shaking with laughter as Spencer queues up an actual documentary, switching on subtitles for you.
“I hate you,” he mutters, but his voice is fond, his arm still wrapped tight around you.
“No, you don’t,” you tease, leaning into him.
He sighs dramatically, dropping a kiss to the top of your head.
“No,” he murmurs, softer now. “I really don’t.”
And just like that, the warmth settles back between you, easy and earned.
Even if he’s still muttering about the Sphinx as the documentary starts.
You settle down like that, listening as Spencer adds his own interesting facts to the documentary. This is home, wholly and truly, sitting on this couch next to him.
You're sure to ask questions, keep him talking, until he falls asleep, missing the sound of his voice the second he dozes off.
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[Image IDs: Series of posts from Kit Whitfield - fantasy author reading: Nice people are struggling over the revelations on Gaiman, and something I keep hearing is, 'His work had a big influence on how I shaped my own identity.' So here's something to remember:
You did that. He didn't do it for you. 1/
I was never a deep Gaiman fan, so maybe I can't talk, but I do know how a certain kind of charisma works.
There's a Thing people love, and someone is a star at it. Not just into it, but 'make it their own'.
Say: they don't just paint with a lot of blue, they're the Blue Artist. 2/
Do you like blue too? You'll find a lot of it in their work. Maybe you'll develop your love of blue looking at it. Maybe their work is where you first realised how much you love blueness.
Cool.
But they don't own the colour blue. 3/
It was your eyes that saw the colour, your brain that interpreted, your heart that felt its beauty.
You didn't love it because they're the Blue Artist, but because you were always a person who could love the sky. 4/
And if you came across their work when you needed to figure some things out, and you used it to do that?
You put in the work to build yourself.
They don't get to be your identity landlord just because you both see beauty in blue. They are smaller than the sky. 5/
Some artists are very, very good at branding themselves so you might feel like you have to go through them to love the thing you love.
But it's just branding. People can make great use of blue, but nobody Is blue.
You stand under the same rainbow. 6/
So if his stuff helped you figure some things out? Those were things about you, figured out by you.
You love mythology? Comic or dark fantasy? Imagination? Fiction?
So did he.
But so do you.
So keep loving the stuff you love. It was never his. He just accessed the same things you did. 7/
Sometimes art can be a mirror.
Sometimes we need to look at ourselves and think about who we want to see looking back. A mirror can help.
Some mirrors are silvered with mercury. They're full of poison.
The image you see in them is you. It always was. 8/8 /End IDs
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kissingarthurclaus · 1 year ago
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It's so fucking sick and twisted that I can't just LOOK UP content for my own self ships.
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