#its all moot because i never finish writing any original works ever

[belostoma]

Was working on original fiction and happened to outline two works that coincidentally both centered around 1. Allegories for neurodivergence 2. Transgenderism and 3. Petplay and so I was like well two works with that same constellation of themes is just being unoriginal but three and it's a metaseries so I should come up with a third. But the problem is one of the works is dog style petplay and the other one is cat style petplay and after that you kind of run out of domesticated animals that are convenient to write petplay about. Like you have to start getting into symbolism and shit. Nobody's going to buy rabbit petplay as a concept for an entire novel/novella unless you justify it. Well maybe I could make it work

[autumn-foxfire]

Bro im so tired of twitter

So the latest thing ive been seeing a lot of are things like 'jujutsu kaisen is just a copy of naruto' or 'do you likw jjk or bnha?' A whole lot of compering and arguing and belitteling one show to lift up the other

Here are my hot takes

1. Nothing exists in a vacuum, everything has been inspiered by something and Gege has been very open about his inspirations (which dont even include that much naruto)

2. You can, stay with me now, like more than one show

Like im so tired of ppl compering shit and tearing one show down because they like the other. Like i like both jjk n bnha. I like jjk more cuz its more suited to my tastes. But also i think bnha has been really good recently n has some of the horis strongest writing to date and im very excited to see what comes next. Just because i like one show over the other doesnt mean i suddenly hate the other or think its badly written. I can appriciate both their merits. N the comparisons with naruto are really annoying cuz like 🙄 who cares. Naruto is one of the big three, a lot of mangaka who work now read it as kids OF COURSE they'll be inspiered by it just like they'll be inspiered by bleach n one piece. News flash just because one show did something first doesnt mean its automatically better than any other show that does it. Saying 'jjk is good but it would be nothing without naruto' means NOTHING. Jjk has its own themes and character n ideas and sometimes there will be similarities with other media cuz of fucking course there will be, humans all have similar ideas, no one is 100% original, its the way different authors spin n retell those ideas that actually matter. Shonen jump is basically a brand of its own they are gonna push conent similar to content shonen jump readers like. The fun part is watching all the different authors taking pieces of those formulas n fitting them together in new and interesting ways.

Sorry for the rant im just really tired of 'the war between jjk n bnha fans' or 'jjk can never be as good as naruto' or whichever it is today. Idk i guess ppl are bitter that jjk became so massivly popular so fast but??? Who cares???? If you dont vibe with it just dont watch it and leave the fans alone??? I didnt like that akudama drive was so popular last season but i didnt go to its fans n rant about how their show isnt good as this other show, just let ppl enjoy things??? Nobody is forcing you to say jjk is the best thing ever, nobody is forcing you to watch it. Just go enjoy the show you do like??? N if u like jjk u can also like bnha n others???? You can like more thsn one thing??? Idk im just fuckin tired of dumbass bullshit like this n ppl making drama for no reason at all

Like imagine if this was how i talked about my fav shows 🙄 re creators is better then beastars because its female characters are more prominent and beastars is better then talentless nana because it has better world building, but talentless nana explores trauma n abuse better then re creators n re creators has way more to say about nature of story telling then beastars

WOW ITS ALMOST LIKE ALL SHOWS HAVE STRONG N WEAK POINTS N THEIR OWN THEMES AND STORIES TO TELL FUNNY THAT

If people don’t think Gege isn’t inspiring Hori too, then they really need to look at the character design for the sixth holder of OFA who looks like a re-coloured version of Inumaki <.< It’s a two way street when it comes to inspiration because surprise, surprise, both JJK and BNHA are two of the most popular manga and will also inspire writers :p

There has also been a lot of comparisons between characters in Naruto and JJK recently too, a popular one being Sakura and Nobara, and I can’t help but roll my eyes at most of those comparisons. Especially when Nobara’s story isn’t even finished yet compared to Sakura’s which is complete (unless you include Boruto but no one like Boruto). It’s such a moot thing to do. At least give Nobara a chance to develope before you declare her to being treated as bad as Sakura was T-T

I don’t know why people always feel so threatened when the see a new manga get popular, maybe because they don’t like to see the flaws in their favourite work become that bit more apparent because another writer did it better (and lets be honest here, Gege is much better at writing female characters so far and Hori’s females have always been a point of discussion because of how he writes them, it’s not like JJK is showing us something we haven’t already noticed).

As you said, there will be parts in Hori’s story that will be better then Gege’s and vice versa, but that doesn’t mean the whole of their works are bad and we should feel bad for liking them.

You know, I love to compare my favourite mangas personally. When I started watching BSD I noticed how many of the characters reminded me of DRRR ones and I wonder if it’s because Kafka was inspired by Narita. Being inspired isn’t a bad thing (as long as you don’t completely copy someone elses work) but you’d think it’s the worst sin in fandom with the way some talk about it.

[ghost-maya]

Fic Writer Interview

thanks for tagging me @omgchyeahplease !!! nick ily <33 god i missed tag games so much 🥺 (i just got back from a month long on hiatus for future context)

Name: maya :D

Fandoms: on ao3 that’d be vld, tdp, ml, ghibli, and hq. i dont think im going to be writing anymore tdp, but ive been writing for the others (yes, even voltron aslkdfj) so they may or may not pop up again :^)

Where you post: just ao3! i technically have a wattpad..and theres a fic i wrote sitting there from when i was 13...but i dont plan on posting there ever again lol

Most popular one-shot: hits-wise, that’d be Unrequited, a lil piece i wrote because i was frustrated with how the vld writers were handling lance’s relationships lol. kudos-wise, it’s Finding Our Way, a backstory fic i wrote for amaya and gren from tdp for a secret santa. both are from 2018 so id love to see another one of my fics get more attention, but i do still like those two well enough!

Most popular multi-chapter: well..i supposed by default it’d be Sensations...it’s SUPPOSED to be a multichap,,but it still only has one chapter. it says 1/? so im counting it tho lol. maybe one day ill finish it :”D

Fic you were nervous to post: probably Ruins because i originally started it for a bang that i joined..didnt finish it on time..then got inspiration to finish it later and posted it separately :”D. i got MASSIVE guilt over that ohn god

How you choose your titles: i used very chaotically pick lyrics from meme songs exclusively LSDKJF but then i actually started thinking about story themes and through lines and just choose it based on that now lol

Do you outline: god i wish i did LOL maybe id be able to write a multichap for once in my life if i actually had a solid plot to follow. the closest thing to outlining that i do is ramble about my ideas to my friends and then make up shit as i go along 

Do you take prompts: aha well i dont really use my socmeds for writing - but if i ever got followers for my writing maybe i would! i did once for the ml writers guild im in and i actually really enjoyed it

Complete: 16 full fanfictions (tiny oneshots)! posted that is. i have another complete one sitting around because its for a zine that hasnt been shipped out yet.

In Progress: i have one posted in progress multichap as i mentioned, and then...well..hm i mean i could count all the docs in my “current wips” google folder but who am i kidding LOL im only really actively working on like 4 of them rn. im really excited about my haikyuu wips but i wont say anything about them because if i do i might never finish any LOL

tagging @kiroiimye @bringingglory @uh-leesh @deitay @eggscellence @actuallyasweetpotato  @pacifistpinnapple @e-milieeee and any of my other moots if you want to!

[fromshore-archive-blog]

Meta about Maya and her views on Tony, post IM3? (I'm egotistical, love me)

send  me  meta  topics  meme !   /     always  accepting , but   especially  right  now !    WARNING :  it  might  take  me  a  week  to  do  because  it  gets  so  fucking  long ,    but  i  love  these  more  than  life  itself .

this  became  a  seven  part  essay  with  mcu  and  comic  references ;     i  would  apologize except ,  to  quote  littleostentatiouspersonally ,     “BRIEF  IS  FOR  PEOPLE  WITHOUT  FEELINGS”

PART  I  :    BERN ,   BABY ,   BERN .

okay ,     so  i  can’t  really  talk  about  maya’s  feelings  about  tony  post - im3  without  talking  about  maya’s  feelings  about  tony  pre  and  during  im3 .      specifically ,    we  need  to  talk  about  bern .

i  just  want  to  put  out ,   plain  and  open  and  simple ,     that  TONY  DIDN’T  BREAK  MAYA’S  HEART  BECAUSE  THEY  HAD  A  ONE  NIGHT  STAND .      i’m  sorry ,    but  maya’s  a  big  girl   and  tony  was  a  big  playboy  and  i  refuse  to  insult  her  self - worth  and  competence  like  that .

TONY  BREAKS  MAYA’S  HEART  BECAUSE  HE ,  FOR  HALF  A  SECOND ,   GAVE  HER  THE  TIME  OF  DAY .  .  .     and  then  they  had  a  one  night  stand .    i  talked  about  this  in  my  meta  about  killian  linked  HERE    (  and  this  is  going  to  be  a  running  theme  here ,   me  referencing  al ,    because  her  relationship  to  these  two  men   is  so  inherently  intertwined  )    ———  in  2000 ,   all  maya  really  wanted  and  needed  was  to  be  taken  seriously .     to  get  the  respect  she  felt  she  deserved .

one  night  stands ,    maya  could  do .     if  he’d  taken  her  up  to  the  room ,    fucked  her ,    left  in  the  morning  before  she  woke  up ,    that  would  have  been  fine .        but  he  didn’t .      they  talked  about  research  and  things  that  mattered .    she  showed  him  her  plant .     he  called  her  brilliant .      and  she  wasn’t  naive  enough  to  fully  believe  she  was  special ,   per  se   ——  remember ,    she  anticipates  the  caveat  behind  that  compliment  ——  but  that  sure  as  hell  doesn’t  mean  that  she  was  intellectually  or  emotionally  prepared  to  be  disregarded  in  the  way  he  disregards  her .        i’m  not  sure  anyone  could  be ,    especially  given  that  she  was  in  her  early  twenties  at  the  time  ;       canon  would  mark  her  as  21 ,     but  by  MY  timeline  she’s  23  and  on  the  verge  of  finishing  her  doctorate .       yes ,   that’s  right ,     maya  hasn’t  completed  her  doctorate  in  that  moment ——  remember ,    al ,    who  has  openly  been  following  her  and  her  career ,     refers  to  her  as   “ms  hansen”    after  all .        and  that ,     that  moment  when  he  leads  her  on  enough  to  get  her  hopes  up  only  to  let  her  own   ——–    that’s  what  breaks  her  heart  and  wounds  her  pride   and  sends  her  straight  to  aldrich  killian .

this  distinction  matters  because  maya  hansen  lives  life  very   HERSELF  AGAINST  THE  WORLD .     and  in  bern ,    when  tony  did  that  with  her ,    he  made  himself  a  part  of  the  world  that  she  was  up  against .       i’m  a  massive  fall   out  boy  fan ,    and  their  song ,     “ this  ain’t  a  scene ,   it’s  an  arms  race ”  ——–   maya  buys  into  that  concept  extremely  deeply.     disregarding  the  like ,    literal  weapons / arms  race  she  eventually  becomes  involved  in ,    when  she  starts  out  ,    it’s  all   about  the  intellectual  one .      the  weapons  are  connection  and  money  and  status  and  esteem  and  respect .     and  people  who  want  to  be  anywhere  in  the  industry  have  to  win  the  war ,   or  at  least  be  a  very  well - known  soldier .     tony ,   whether  he  realized  it  or  not ,     fired  the  first  shot  in  their battle ,    wielding  these  weapons  in  models  bigger  and  more  advanced  than  she  possessed  by  miles .        the  morning  after ,    maya  knew  she  needed  to  win  the  war .

he  had  sealed  the  deal ,   too ,   by  leaving   that  formula  scrawled  on  the  nametag    behind .     because  #1 when the  hell  did  he  come  up  with that ?     in  his  dreams ?    in  his  hungover  state  when  he  rolled  over  for  his  pants ?     or  did  the  numbers  fall  into  his  head  to  the  rhythm  of  their  fucking ?     again  with  the  fucking  mixed  signals !        this   wasn’t  some  game  or  riddle  to  her ;     all  she  wanted  was  for  him  to  give  it  to  her  straight ——-  whatever  “IT”  might  have  been .       and ,   apparently ,   he  didn’t  respect  her  enough  to  do  that ,     and  that  pissed  her  off .       he’s  the  one  who  made  it  personal  by  not  keeping  it  strictly  professional .

i  think    it’s  quite  clear  that  her  hang - up  with  him  is  intellectual  even  in  canon ,   just  by  nature  of  the  way  she  approaches  him  at  the  mansion  during  im3 .      compare  her  tone  when  pepper  refers  to  her   as  tony’s  “ex girlfriend”   to  when  pepper  refers  to  her  as  a  “botanist”  ;     spoiler  alert :    she  sounds  a  hell  of  a  lot  more  offended  about  the  oversimplification  of  the  latter  than  the  hyperbole  of  the  former .      

 this  is  the  point  where  i  could  very  easily  launch  into  rambling  about  the  total  validity  of  maya  and  tony  as  a  romantic / sexual  ship  under  certain  circumstance ,    but  i’m  going  to  keep  the  grittier  details  of  that  for  another  post   (  if  there’s  interest  in  me  writing  it ,    ofc  !!!  )      there  will  undoubtedly  be  some  mention  of  it ,    but  yeah ,    if  you  want  the  full  Discourse  about  that ,   that  will  be  another  meta .    but  my  point  here  has  been  to  SMASH  any  illusion  that  maya  was  upset  because  she  managed  to  fall  for  him  in  one  night  and  he  didn’t  stick  around .    it  goes  deeper  than  that .

PART  II :     SHE  COULD’VE  CURED  CANCER  INSTEAD  OF  BECOMING  THE  NEW  ONE .

i  now  want  to  talk  about  a  dynamic  between  them ,   as  seen  from  maya’s  perspective ,   that  has  permeated  their  interactions  from  the  beginning .

maya  has  worked  very  hard  to  get  as  far  in  life  as  she  has  in  this  life .     and ,   yeah ,    she’s  proud  of   what  she’s  accomplished .      but  notice  that  distinction  there ——–  she’s  proud  of  what  she’s  accomplished ,    not  necessarily  the  aforementioned  hard  work .     maya  isn’t  one  of  those  people  who  cares  about  the  journey ,    only  the  destination .      she  contrasts  perfectly  what  @analyticallyminded​   has  written  about  her  portrayal  of  jemma  simmons ,     who  feels  like  she  must  work  hard  and  earn  what  she  has  in  order  to  be  deserving  ;       MAYA  WOULD   BE  PERFECTLY  HAPPY  TO  BE  HANDED  THINGS  IN  LIFE  BECAUSE  SHE  KNOWS  SHE  WOULD  CONTINUE  TO  WORK  JUST  AS  HARD  REGARDLESS ,     AND  THEREFORE ,   SHE  WOULD  GO  EVEN  FARTHER .      

this  is  one  of  the  reasons  tony  irks  her .      he  was  born  with  a  silver  spoon  in  his  mouth  such  as  others  can  only  dream  of .      he  had  money  and  connections   and  influence  handed  right  to  him  before  he  knew  how  to  uncurl  his  fists  ;       her  palms ,    on  the  other  hand ,     were  wide  open  and  empty .      and ,    yeah ,    sitting  here  as  outsiders  looking  in ,    you  and  i    (  and  tony  )     could  give  a  list  of  a  million  reasons  why  that  is  a  vast ,   vast  oversimplification ,     why  he  had  unique  obstacles  to  overcome  that  she’s  never  had  to  deal  with  or  even  ever  considered .

but  maya  has  always ,    always ,    seen  ambition  as  exceedingly  simple  . 

there’s  that  exchange  from  iron  man  extremis   when  tony  and  maya  are  talking  to  sal  kennedy   —————

sal :     you  [ maya ]      have  intellect  and  power ,    but  it’s  not  enough .     it’s  like  there’s   a  damn  across  your  life .      her  problem  is  that  she’s  a  woman .     there’s  a  glass  ceiling .     it  could  take  her  another  five ,    ten  years  to  get  to  where    you  [ tony ]     are  now .           /        and  what  would  you  do  when  you  got  to  tony’s  position ?

maya :       four  years  of  engineering  and  i  could  cure  cancer .

sal :      there  you  go .       and  what  do  you  think  of  at  night ,     tony ?

tony :     .  .  .   making  a  better  iron  man   suit .

where  tony ,    as  she  sees  it ,    fucks  around  with  different  phases  of  his  life ,     MAYA  HAS  ONLY  EVER  CHASED  ONE  THING ,    sought  to  ride  it  to  its  climactic  end ,    to  see  it  all  the  way  through  to  her  success .     as  far  as  she’s  concerned ,    roles  reversed ,   she  literally  would  have  cured  cancer  by  now .     (   or ,    mun   addition ,    would  have  set  the  world   on  the  path  towards  mutually  assured  destruction .    but  even  then ,   at  least ,    no one  would  be  around  to  call  her  on  her  fault .   )      but  think  about  it :   tony  had  his  moral  crisis  and  pulled  out  of  the  arms  race ,    making  his  time  and  energy  and  resources  and  money  dedicated  there  moot  .           tony  dedicated  significant  time  and  energy  resources  and  money  to  the  avengers ,   a  project  from  which  he  was  originally  excluded  and  contemporarily  cannot  claim  sole  credit  for .                as  collateral  for  both  of  those  things ,    tony  has  now  poured  more  time  and  energy  and  resources  and  money  into  humanitarian  efforts  and  clean - up  projects  to  undo  the  damage .             not  to  mention  all  of  the  time  and  energy  and  resources  and  money  that  he’s  squandered  tinkering  on  suits  and  other  projects  to  cope  with  his  mental  health  issues .

do  you  see  the  pattern  there ——  lots  of  time  and  energy  and  resources  and  money  UTTERLY  WASTED .      were  maya  hansen  in  his  position ,     all  of  that  would  have  gone  into  her  primary  research .      nothing  would   have  been  spent  on  a  mid - career  crisis  or  feeding  projects  that  do  anything  besides  propel  her  forward

MAYA  HANSEN  AND  TONY  STARK  ARE  SO  FUNDAMENTALLY  SIMILAR .     but  that  only  seeks  to  make  the  areas  where  they  are  so  fundamentally  different  all  the  more  glaring .      privilege  and  what  they’ve  done  with  it ?    one  of  those  biggest  and  most  fundamental  differences .

to  her ,      tony  stark  had  what  every  little  budding  scientist  playing  with  their  chemistry  set  dreams  about ,     and  he  completely  and  utterly  failed  to  live  up  to  that  potential .     ever  since  bern ,    she’s  been  resenting  him  for  that .     and  after  im3 ,    she  still  hasn’t  stopped .

PART  III  :   FUCKING  FINALLY ,    I’M  SOLIDLY  TALKING  ABOUT  POST - IM3  LIKE  ORIGINALLY  ASKED !

post -  im3 ,    maya  is  aware  that  she  has  lost  all  footing  to  ever  call  him  out  on  his  misuse  of  his  privilege ,      his  total  misstep  in  how  he  has  navigated  the  war   .    #1    because  he  has  ammunition  too  solid  to  fire  back  at  her .      with  his  much  more  awake  conscience ,    he’d  call  her  on  the  fact  that  she  went   ALL  THE  WAY  IN  THE  WRONG  DIRECTION .      and  she  knows   they’ll  never  agree  on  the  justification  of  why  that  as  .  .  .    not  necessarily  okay ,    but  an  acceptable  and  logical  course  of  reason .     why  that  doesn’t  make  her  any  worse  a  person  than  him .     why ,   in  some  ways ,   it  might  make  her  a  better  one .  .  .

and   #2  because  what  little  shot  she  has  at  a  second  chance  at  it  all ,   she  has  because  of  HIM .     i  sound  like  a broken  record  saying  some  of  this  shit ,    but  maya  shouldn’t  be  allowed  to  walk  around  after  what  she  did .     on  the  scale  she  did it ,   too .      without  the  pull  of  someone  like  tony  stark ,    she’d  still  be  rotting  away  in  a  jail  cell .       she  can’t  get  too  mouthy  with  him ,    especially  since ,    at  least  at  present ,    she   refuses  to  humble  herself  by  thanking  him .       if  anything ,   she  feels  as  though  she’s  finally   getting  the  sort  of  easy  break  that  he’s  been  catching   his  whole  life   ;      she  somehow  doubts  he  ever  went  around  thanking  the  people  or  things  that  made  those  possible  for  him .  

PART  IV :    WHO  STILL  HAS  A  SOUL !

the   other  big  thing  that  still  fills  maya  with  rage  when  she  thinks  about  tony  is  that  little  speech  he  gives  her  at  the  end  of  iron  man  3 .    let’s  just  pull  out  the  transcript ,    shall  we ?

tony :     you  used  to  have  a  moral  psychology .     you  used  to  have  ideals .     you  wanted  to  help  people .    now  look  at  you .    i  get  to  wake  up  every  morning  with  someone  who  still  has  their  soul .  

okay ,    listen ,     this  is  the  last  real  conversation  she  has  before  she  dies  and  then  gets  hospitalized  and  then  gets  tried  and  then  goes  to  jail .      so  these  are  words  that  echo  in  her  mind  during  her  time  in  prison .      and ,   while  undoubtedly  not  the  way  he  hoped  they  would  settle ,    all  they  do  is  really  fill  her  with  alternating  anger  and  annoyance .

 how  fucking  dare  he  make  that  judgement  call  about  her  knowing  as  little  about  her  journey  as  he  does ?     there’s  that  quote   DO  NOT  JUDGE  MY  STORY  BY  THE  CHAPTER  YOU  WALKED   IN  ON ;     literally ,    should  have  just  @’ed  tony  stark  on  that  one .        he  doesn’t  know  her .    hell ,   that’s  evident  from   his  assertion  that  she  wanted  to  help  people  ——–  she  wanted  to ,   but  again ,    that  was  secondary  to  her  being  GREAT .      she  still  has  her  ideals ;     they’re  just  not  pretty  or  good  ones .

maya  hansen  is  an  awful  person .      BUT  THE  THING  ABOUT  BEING  AN  AWFUL  PERSON ?     YOU  STILL  HAVE  TO  BE  A  PERSON  TO  BE  ONE .       maya  has  dragged  her  soul  through  the  mud  and  dirt ,    stomped  on  it  a  few  times ,     but  she  still  has  it .     it’s  capable  of  being  cleaned  up ,    if  she  wants  to .    she  still  has  it ,    she  still  owns  it .      and  he’s  on  NO  MORAL  HIGH  GROUND   to  be  lecturing  her  on  it .

(   there’s  also  the  point  that  he  could  have  been  an  active  character  in  those  chapters  if  he  wanted  to  be .    that  he  has  only  ever  thumbed  through  her  pages  with  little  more  than  he  gave  her  clit ?     oh  boy .   )   

additionally ,   his  saying     “i  get  to  wake  up  every  morning  with  someone   who  still has  a  soul”   as  opposed  to  something  like     “i  get  to  wake  up   every   morning   and  still  have  a  soul”   is  SO  FUCKED  UP .      if  a  parallel  should  be  drawn  between   her  and  another  person in  this  scenario ,    it  should  be  HIMSELF ,      not  pepper .

[    there’s  an  entire  section  about  semiotic  squares  that  i  started  to  put  right  in  here ,    but  that  i  am  going  to  save  for  another  post  because  it’s  basically  this  whole   Thing .      semiotic  squares  are  one  of  the  concentrations  that  i’ve  chosen  for  my  independent  research  with  my  lit  degree ,    and  so  i  could  literally  write  you  a  masters  thesis  length  analysis .    that  deserves  its  own  post .     the  tl;dr  of  it  all ,    though  ——-  there’s  a  fundamental  reason  that  in  the  years  between  bern  and  malibu ,     maya’s  being  merges  with  a  character  like  aldrich  killian ,     while  tony’s   merges  with  one  like  pepper  potts .     the  first  pair  picked  a  target  and  barrelled  straight  for  it ,    disregarding  the  ruin  it  brought  to  them  and  everyone  around  them ,     but  looked  in  mirrors  and  still  liked  what  they  saw .     the  other  two  changed  directions  and  burned  bridges  in  favor  of  greener  pastures ,    but  all  that  driving  cost  them  lots  of  gas  money  and  a  hellish  whiplash .     the  four  of  them  square  one  another  out  perfectly .  .  .    but  i  digress /     stay  tuned  for  a  full  post  about  all  this  nonsense     ]

but  also ,    him  choosing  to  juxtapose  herself  and pepper ,     thus  comparing  sexual  partner  to  romantic / sexual  partner ,      suggests  that   he  still  views  her  in  a  sexual  light .       which  is  fine ,    or  whatever ,    again  bc  validity  of  their  chemistry    EXCEPT  THAT  IN  THIS  VERY ,    VERY  HEIGHTENED  MOMENT ,     the  climax  of  this  movie   and  the  moment  her  entire  career  has   been  building  up  to  ——-  the  confrontation  with  tony   stark  she’s  been  dying  to  have  ——–   HE ,    BY  NATURE  OF  THE  COMPARISON  HE  CHOOSES  TO  DRAW ,  SIMPLIFIES  HER  TO  A  PAST  FLING .       after  everything  they’ve  been  through  and  all  going  through ,    that’s  still  the  underlying  lens  through  which  he  views  her ?      calling  her  a  piece  of  shit  scumbag  would  have  been  more  respectful .

(  mun  note  again :    i  fucking  hate  the  pacing  of  that  scene  anyway  ;      it  escalates  wayyyy  too quickly  and  gets  rushed  in  the  end  by  kilian’s  entrance ,    and  i’d  love  to  know  if   any  other  versions  of  it  existed  previously  in  the  development  of  the  movie .      but  it’s  what  we’ve  got  to  work  with .     and  again ,   these  attitudes  are  maya’s  biased  viewpoint .    ) 

she  stews   in  that  the  entire  time  she’s  in  prison .     and  it’s  because .  .  . 

PART V :    BITE  YOUR  TONGUE ;    IT’S  SERPENTINE .

that’s  never ,    ever  how  maya  has  viewed  tony  stark .      she’s  always  admired  his  work   and   respected  his  person .      even  while  decrying  his  work   and  criticizing  his  person    (   as  seen  above  ) ,      she  still fundamentally  held  him  in  the  same  high  esteem  that  she  would  anyone  else  with  the  kind  of  proven  brilliance  and  know - how   he  did .      more  than  that ,    she  had  a  name tag  from  bern   2000  that  proved  it   that ,     whether  she  wanted  to  or  not ,    she  needed  him .     she  needed  that  advice  that   ( she  thought )   he  had  to  give .

and  bottom  line   because  of  that  respect   MAYA  HANSEN  PRE - IM3  WOULD  HAVE  BEEN  HARD  PRESSED  TO  WALK  UP  TO  TONY  AND  PREACH  AT  HIM .      though  she  of  course  over  the  years  developed  her  very  strong  opinions  on  the  way  he  was  living  his  life ,    and  simultaneously  and  independently  chose  to  live   hers  in  such  a  way  that  she  became  one  of  his  “demons” ,     she ,    from  a  purely  moral  standpoint ,    stayed  in  her  fucking  lane .        as  discussed  above ,    when  it  counted ,   he  didn’t .     

consequently ,     there’s  a  lot  on  her  end  of  the  relationship  that  is  going  unsaid .     and  now ,   maya  post - im3  is  caught  in  the  worst ,   most  complicated  predicament  of  her  entire  relationship  with  tony  stark .

now  that  tony  officially has  tried  to  mark  himself  as  morally  superior ,    SHE  NOW  HAS  LICENSE  AND  WILL  TO  RETALIATE  AND  LAY  BARE  ALL  OF  HER   ISSUES  WITH  HIM .     and ,   god ,    sometimes  she  wants  to .     there’s  shit  he’s  done  all  throughout  the  entire  twenty - first  century  that  she’d  love  to  bring  back  to  the  surface .      there’s  one  GIANT  finger  pointing  at  her ,    but  waaaay  more  than  four  little  ones  pointing  back  at  him .     and  maya  has  a  temper  and  a  vicious  way  with  words .    at  times ,   she’d   kill to  unleash  everything  she’s  got .

but ,    as  i  mentioned  earlier ,    SHE  CAN’T  SAY  SHIT  TO  THE  PERSON  WHO  BAILED  HER  OUT  OF  THE  SLAMMER .     she  finally  has  the  will ,    but  she  doesn’t  have  the  way .

she  looks  at  him  and  she  wants  to  scream .     she  wants  to  lay  out  in  front  of  him  exactly  how  she  feels .    THANKS  FOR  BAILING  ME  OUT  AND  ALL ,    BUT  YOU  REALIZE  YOU  DESERVE  TO  BE  THERE  WITH  ME ,   RIGHT ????  

PART  VI :    THE  EYES  ARE  THE  WINDOWS  TO  THE  SOUL .

so  the  gut  reaction  of  tony  fans    (   and  some  tony  portrayals ,   though  i’m  trying   to  keep  this  answer  generalized   to  the  tony  stark  character  rather  than  a  specific  one  )     is  going  to  be  that  there’s  nothing  she  could   say  that  he  hasn’t  said  to  himself .

here’s  the  thing  though :     MAYA  DOESN’T  GIVE  A  SHIT  ABOUT  HIS  GUILTY  CONSCIENCE  ;   his  having  one  does  nothing  to  change  the  feelings  she  has  towards  him  one  way  or  another .

in  general ,    maya  has  very  little  regard  for  consciences .    even  her  own .    what  good  does  it  do  if  what  she’s  done  keeps  her  up  at  night ?     she’s  done  it  regardless .            /                 flipside  of  that :     him  being  wracked  by  guilt  for  what  he’s  done / caused   doesn’t  do  shit .     she  doesn’t  have  any  sympathy  for  someone  hiding  behind  they’re  self  hate  ;      it’s  a  cop - out  and  an  excuse  and  it  makes  her  blood  boil .

a  part  of  this ,   too ,    is  that  maya  is  very  ableist .    i  think  this  goes  without  saying  given that  extremis  was  largely   tested  on  disabled  people ,    who  she  clearly  didn’t  respect .     i’ve  written  headcanons  before  on  her  biological  uncle  that  i’ve  made  up  who  she  sort  of  disregarded  because  of  the  traits  that  he  portrayed  because  of  his  ptsd .      she  would  NOT  INITIALLY  BE  UNDERSTANDING  OF  THE  ROLE  TONY’S  ANXIETY / DEPRESSION / PTSD    HAS  PLAYED  IN  HIS  CHARACTER  ARC  AND  LIFE ;      i  emphasize  initially because  a  big  part  of  the  reason  that  she  doesn’t  understand  is  that  she  doesn’t  care to .     if ,   in  rp  land ,   she  began  to  care  about  tony  or  another  mentally  ill  character ,    some  of  this  could  change .     (  it  already has  progressed  some  because  i  have  an  extensive  backstory  of  her  and  my  own  erik  selvig  muse .    but  that’s  also  a  meta  for  another  time .   )

PART  VII :    POT  AND  KETTLE .

at  the  end  of  the  day ,   TONY  AND  MAYA  ARE  JUST  SITTING  ON  TOP  OF  A  STOVE  ARGUING  OVER  WHO  IS  A  DARKER  SHADE .     they’re  both  fucking  black ,    but  both  of  them  are  grey  on  the  inside .     tony’s  whistle  went  off  first  but  maya’s  then  went  off  louder  but  now   THEY  CAN’T  EVEN  TALK  ABOUT  WHAT   HAPPENED  BECAUSE  THEY’RE  BOTH  JUST  FUCKING  KITCHEN  APPLIANCES .    

SO  IN  SUMMARY ,     i  know  that  i  wrote  a  lot  about  maya / tony  in  general  and  a  lot  less  about  maya / tony  post - im3     than  you  might  have  been  expecting .    it’s  because  maya ,   largely ,    still  feels  the  same way  towards  tony  that  she  has  always  felt  ;      the  big  difference  is  that   now  she  is  going  to  be  forced  to  face  those  feelings  up  close .     (   or  closer  than  before ,    as  both  of  my  main  tony  partners  have ,   thus  far ,    still  kept  her  at  arms’  length .    or  football  fields’  length.    understandably .    )

everything  ahead  is  unknown  territory  that  i  look  forward  to  exploring  in  the  world  of  rp .    that  is ,    after  all ,   why  we’re  all  here   :)

[bloodyshadow1]

Blood of the Covenant

After the Hunger is defeated, Lucretia has only one last task to complete.  One last act to make up for the things she’s done, both to the world and to her family.

 It’s rushed and unedited since I wanted to get it out before the last episode airs since I can’t upload it at work.  Will be cross posted on archive later, but I don’t have time to format everything. Warning for suicide, dark thoughts, and language.  Adventure zone spoilers obviously.  Bout a 4500 word read if your interested

               It was over, it was finally over.  Over a hundred years had passed since that day they left their own world.  It had been far from an easy journey, the seven of them had all died more times than they could remember, suffered more hardships than any other beings in a hundred universes could have faced, but it was over.  

Lucretia just stared out at the remains of the ruins of the Bureau of Balance headquarters in disbelief, her home. The massive ship that had once looked like a second moon had crashed to the earth during the battle. It had been an intentional maneuver to help destroy the Hunger and had paid dividends in the end, but still, for the former leader of the Bureau of Balance it was hard to see home for more than a decade destroyed.  It had never felt the same as the Starblaster, but it had been safe and it had allowed her to do what she thought needed to be done.  It turns out that it wasn’t her spell though, the one that would cut off the world from Hunger as well as anything else, was needed, but instead faith in her friends, her family.

The Hunger, John Merle insisted, was gone, not quite dead since it was an abomination of anti-life, but gone, gone for good.  They had defeated it, the seven of them along with their friends and allies, they had done what no one would have thought they could do and won the game of cat and mouse.   But they did, they beat the Hunger, it was an epic battle combining strength of arms, arcane brilliance, and willful words and that will all that will be spoken of that.  After all what matters is that the Hunger was gone, all the different worlds it absorbed have been restored and Lup finally defeated her archenemy Greg Grimaldis and liberated her $15, so why go on about a battle that was over.  

Still, in trying to stop John, Lucretia knew she had done unforgivable things to her family, stripping away their memories, tearing apart their bonds, placing them in dangers for reasons they didn’t know because she made them forget…, in the end it amounted to nothing.  She knew that what she had done to Taako and Lup, what she had done to Davenport…what she had done to the three of them was the worst of it.  Perhaps if her spell did work to defeat the Hunger than she could at least justify her actions, but no, it turned out that much like the Grand Relics her Bulwark Spell was unneeded.  All that was required was faith in your bonds, three surprisingly competent goofballs, and a whole lot of luck to defeat the devourer of worlds.  

               But now wasn’t a time to look back now was a time to move forward, and for Lucretia that meant making things right.  While everyone else celebrated and embraced over their joy of being alive the former director sifted through the remains of her office searching for something important.  

Normally, she wouldn’t risk scavenging a ruin like the Bureau of Balance Headquarters, it looked like the whole thing was going to collapse any minute, not with her few remaining hit points at least.   Luckily for Lucretia though low hit points weren’t something that concerned her at the moment.  Also lucky for her, her office was whole for the most part though a mess.  If she had the time to think she would have made a note that it would definitely need a thorough cleaning if it was to ever be used again.  But Lucretia knew that it would never be used again, at least not by her.  After a few minutes of scrounging she found what she was looking for, a small white oak box with silver trimmings and a platinum lock. She knew it would survive even the apocalypse with the amount of money she spent on it, it was something even Garfield couldn’t get his hands on for her, she had to go elsewhere.  Other than the strength of the wood and metal protecting what was inside Lucretia cast numerous powerful nonlethal spells upon it that would spring and trap whoever tried to open the box without permission. As of now there were only four beings in the world, in all worlds that could open this box, save for Lucretia: Merle, Magnus, Taako, and of course Davenport.  If she had ever found them she would have added Barry and Lup to the list as well, but the point was moot seeing as the box was a contingency for if Lucretia had died before she had a chance to make things right.  But now since she survived the apocalypse the contingency part was no longer needed and she could finish things herself.  

She opens the lock easily, it popped open as soon as her fingers touched it and opened the chest to reveal its bounty.  Inside were a neat stack of letters bound in twine two small black diamonds, and a dagger with seven birds on the hilt.  The second diamond had been the most recent addition to the chest, once the need for other seekers had proven pointless she had suddenly forced to deal with a surge of new regulators.  After all, just because the former seekers were unable to do their duties didn’t mean that they had to be unemployed, or that Lucretia could allow them to run around freely with all the Bureau’s secrets.  If she had they might have used their skills, they acquired under her employment and sought the relics out without her being able to keep an eye on them.  That left Killian, Carey, and NO-3113 time to take care of a special project for her, which lead to the creation of the second diamond.  

The letters were the oldest of the items in the chest, at least at first they were.  Originally there were six letters, one for each member of her family, she hoped against all hope that once everything was over the other six members of the IPRE would all be alive and reunited with each other.  Each letter held a brief explanation for why she did what she did for the good of the world and an apology.  The explanation was the same in all of them, she didn’t want to highroad herself, she was wrong and even if it was for the greater good what she did to her family was still evil and could never be forgiven.  The apologies were each unique though just that she was sorry for what she did and that she had to make sure that they knew, even if they didn’t forgive her.  She put those letters in the chest over ten years ago, thinking it would all be over in a matter of months, but it didn’t.  Try as she might the years stretched on and on and as the years grew so did the letters left in the box.  

Originally when she realized she couldn’t gather the relics alone she tried to remain detached to her employees, establishing early on the lines between employer and employee.  But even as she wore the mask of Madame Director she couldn’t stop being Lucretia underneath it all, the scribe who spent a century on a ship that was powered by bonds, with six people she loved more than anyone else in the world.  Such a thing changes a person, makes them crave the closeness and joy they get from even a small smile on the face of someone they care about.  It forever left her unable to become distant and cold towards people on the inside at least. There were letters for Carey and Killian who had become practically her left and right hands as time passed, for sweet Avi and poor Johann, for Patrilda who could fry anything and did so with a smile on her face, a letter for Robbie more of an apology for locking him up for something he didn’t have control over, for Leon who despite whatever the boys put him through remained loyal to the B.O.B.’s ideals which was more than could be said for Garfield, the traitor.  There were even letters for the dead and the damned, to Magic Brian (Lucretia had seen the writing on the wall with that one and wondered if it was the drow’s similarities to Taako and Lup that made her believe he could be trusted), poor Leman who deserved more than to be another notch on a serial killer’s belt, to Captain Captain Bane a good man who she put in harm’s way like so many others.  She knew she should have taken the letters addressed to the dead but just the first attempt had torn her heart out so much that Lucretia had surfaced and reflected on all the bad the Director had caused.  

“Huh, funny enough I thought I’d find you here,” a familiar voice that was equal parts arrogant, ridiculous, and endearing broke through the silence of her office.  “The world’s saved, all worlds really thanks to us, mostly me, Magnus, and Merle, but I mean all of us did something,” Taako said checking his fingernails trying to appear super casual, despite the fact that Lucretia’s back was turned.  “We’re hurt and exhausted, I’m almost out of spell slots even the ones I got back after we drank Baby Fisher’s stink water, but for the first time in over ten years the seven of us are together and we’re all still alive.  Well not Barold or my twin sister who I just remembered a few hours ago, thanks for that,” he added venomously.  “They’re you know…, sort of dead sort of alive,” he added losing himself in his tangent, “is gonna make things really awkward when the BF comes around.  But like I was saying the seven of us still alive after defeating the thing that’s been chasing us for over a hundred years, destroyed our home dimension, and killed us all several times, we should all be celebrating or at least relaxing, so imagine our surprise when our local introvert on board wasn’t around,” he said sarcastically.  They all knew she wasn’t one for large gatherings, and after all she had done they knew she wasn’t exactly excited to face them or anyone again.

“So we all split up to find her, you know for different reasons some of us,” he emphasized by tapping the The KrEpStAr against his shoulder ominously. Lucretia’s Staff, the Bulwark Staff had been left dead and barren after she used her spell to seal the Hunger away for good, she still had a cheap wand, more fit for the hand of Angus McDonald than her own, but she knew she wouldn’t need it.  Her dagger would suffice for what happened next.  

“Barold went with Magnus seeing as they’re more neutral and forgiving side of things.  Lups around her somewhere, but I left her behind, she’s not really used to being in a fleshbag again.  Rude, I know but I wanted a few moments alone with you before she could interrupt.  After all she’d be all like, ‘Taako don’t be an idiot, you can’t kill or maim Lucy, she did what she thought was right and didn’t mean to hurt anyone,’ and I don’t feel like being mature about this right now. Merle and Davenport made up the short guy coalition and are searching along the ground. Captianport is still really steamed after what you did, I can’t blame him, I mean I still think what you did to me and Barold was worse,” Lucretia had known Taako long enough to know when he was lying, but respected that he wouldn’t be able to ever believe someone’s pain was worse than his own. “But still he must have been in hell.  I mean really Lucy, lobotomizing our dear captain and then making him your butler, that’s really messed up.”

“I didn’t mean for that to happen,” Lucretia said softly, her voice full of guilt and regret, “I never meant for any of this to happen.  I thought it would have been a matter of weeks, a year at the most to keep you in those amnesiac states-,” but she just stopped before she could finish.  “No, no more excuses and trying to highroad people,” she said turning to Taako and placing her box on her desk, “what I did was wrong, I thought what I was doing what was right for the greater good, but I was wrong all the same.  I hurt the people that I loved and I’m sorry,” she said meeting Taako’s gaze.  Surprisingly the other wizard didn’t look angry, more annoyed or upset, but it wasn’t anger that flowed out of Taako’s eyes.  

“Why Lucretia,” Taako asked, but as soon as Lucretia opened her mouth he waved her away, “no, I mean I know why you did it, but still dammit why did you do that too us,” tears started to run down his face as he pointed the KrEpStAr at her. Surprisingly the Umbra Staff was far more intimidating, probably because Lucretia was fine with dying, even knowing she deserved to be killed, but that was before she could work her magic to protect this world. Now, it was just something that needed to happen one way or another.  “We were you family, I know we weren’t blood or anything gross like that, but after a hundred years of thinking of everyone else as dust I started thinking of you as my sister.  So why, how could you do that to us,” Taako was a proud male elf, he didn’t beg for anything, and he certainly didn’t do it now.  And if you asked him about this moment later on he would deny it, even if it did sound a lot like begging.  

“Taako, you know no answer I could give would be good enough,” Lucretia said simply.  “What I did was wrong, even if I had the best intentions it doesn’t change that I was wrong, and everything I did ended up being for nothing.  I won’t blame you if you want to kill me, and I won’t try to stop you either, she said opening herself up for whatever spells Taako wanted to cast on her.

“Gods dammit Lucretia why do you have to always be such a dramaqueen,” Taako shouted in frustration.  “I mean I only wanted to fucking talk to you and you have to pull this sacrificial superficial redemption crap.

“You’re the one pointing your very powerful magical object at me Taako,” Lucretia shot back just like she would have during their voyage on the Starblaster.

“I’m Taako, I’m supposed to be dramatic and junk, it’s my thing.  You’re the boring bookworm side-character that everyone seems to love despite not talking much.  Stop trying to steal my gimmick,” he said wiping his eyes ineffectually the tears just kept falling.  “I don’t know if I’m going to kill you alright, so just stay there until I figure things out,” he gestured with his glaive for emphasis.

“What the hell,” another familiar voice said breathing heavily, “is going,” she started to say but she was breathing to heavily to complete the sentence she wanted to get out.  “Holy shit I forgot how lungs work and am really regretting running here after this one took off,” Lup finally managed to get out after panting for a good minute and gesturing to Taako as he and the former Director stared at his sister. “No, but seriously,” Lup said finally managing to stand up straight, “what the fuck is going on here you two. Why are you pointing a your Krav Maga at Lucy over there,” she said pointing at her brother, “and why are you just standing there with your hands in your box ready to take it,” she said angrily gesturing to Lucretia.  She paused for a moment before realizing what she said, “okay for the record, that wasn’t supposed to sound dirty, I know I’m the master of the innuendo but it’s not the time for that, just like it’s not the time for more violence and death.”

“Way to make things awkward there sis,” Taako said lowering his glaive a bit, his wizard arms weren’t exactly made for holding things up for long periods of time anyway.  “Besides, we were just talking.”

“Sure you were just talking after abandoning me in the Bob Ruins and pointing your gaudy spear at Lucy,” Lup shot back.  The two loved each other of course, being not only siblings but twins, but still being so similar they were bound to fight.  Taking advantage of their little spat Lucretia saw her chance and picked up her dagger and did what had to be done.  It had hurt, not nearly as much as the Hunger’s final form had, but slitting one’s wrist did tend to hurt regardless.  Still, even low on hitpoints she could take a lot of bleeding damage even if she refrained from purposely stabilizing, no it was the dagger’s affect that would end things.

Her slight wince broke up the conversation between the T-Twins, quiet as it was, “what was that? Lucretia did you say something,” Lup asked curious.

“Nope, nothing,” Lucretia said rolling a 1 on her bluff check, “just going through some things in my private chest-,” and before she had the chance to regret those words.  She could have said anything else and they might have bought it, but bring up something private or a secret and Taako and Lup were all over it.

For a good few minutes she was bombarded by, ‘what’s in the chest, what’s so private, does it have anything to do with me, what’s in the damn box already woman,’ before she held up her hand to silence them.  “They are my personal affects, I started to add to the chest after founding the Bureau of Balance, they were for after the Hunger was dealt with.” Luckily, she rolled a nat 20 on her sleight of hand check so she was able to palm the dagger into her robes. Letters, mostly to those who mean a lot to me letting them know my feelings, though some have instructions on how to proceed once everything was over.  I wasn’t planning on giving everyone their memories back until after the relics were destroyed and my shield was up so they are a bit out of date especially since there are those who are you know dead with letters addressed to them.  As for your question Taako, yes, there is something in here for you,” she said turning the small chest so the twins could see into it.

“Those are some pretty nice diamonds,” Taako admitted, “but unfortunately I’m dating someone.  Oh and I’m mad at you, plus it would be like marrying my sister, and have you seen my sister, gross.”

“Oh come on Lucy, two diamonds for this chucklefuck but none for your real favorite Taaco sibling, how could you,” Lup said dramatically.

“You wish Goofis.”

“To be frank,” Lucretia interrupted and continued before they could make their normal ‘I thought you were Lucretia,’ joke. “One of them was for Magnus, his was easier to track down than yours, but I had Team Sweet Flips track him down for you after you came back from Refugee.”

“What,” was all Taako could say, “who,” I stand corrected.

“The other person who took everything from you,” Lucretia said picking up one of the diamonds and gave it to Taako.  “One drop of your blood will release the prisoner trapped inside the crystal.  I knew I couldn’t make up for what I’ve done, but this is all I can do to make up for what happened,” she said weakly, the blade’s curse and the bloodloss was starting to take effect.

“Sazed,” Taako said softly and more seriously than he had ever said anything in his life.

“And a man named Kalen,” she said gesturing to the other diamond. “I tracked him down myself when I came upon the ruins of Raven’s Roost when I checked on Magnus.  I didn’t realize that Sazed was the one to kill all those people when I checked in on you at Glamour Springs.  I just assumed there was an accident in the cooking, I must have checked every corpse I could find begging for you to not be one of the victims,” she mused.  Unfortunately that was when Lup took notice; the blood on the diamond didn’t help.

“Lucretia, what have you done,” the elf lich said grabbing Lucretia’s arm and tearing her sleeve down to reveal the cut.

“You know,” Lucretia said lightheaded from the bloodloss, “I’ve been asked that so many times today that it’s sort of lost meaning from all the shitty things I’ve done.  You’re going to have to be specific.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you,” Taako shouted.

“Again you need to be more specific, oh, my wound.  I promised you I would answer for what I’ve done once the world was safe, I’m a woman of my word if nothing else.  I wasn’t sure if you wanted revenge or not so I used the artificing we all learned to give the dagger special properties so that I would fall eventually.  I would never make you bloody your hands if you didn’t want to, but I didn’t want to take away the option of giving you your revenge if that is what you wanted.”

“I-I didn’t want this,” Taako said panicking.

“Dammit Lucretia my idiot brother’s right, you are a drama queen,” Lup said tearing off a piece of Lucretia’s robe to make a bandage for Lucretia’s arm to stanch the bleeding.

“It’s not poison if that’s what your worried about, I know how traumatized you’ve been of poison so I wouldn’t do that to you.  I learned how to place curses on objects from a witch in exchange for a kiss during the decade we’ve been here.  It’s a powerful one that will kill me within a few minutes if left unchecked, but it’s no less than I deserve.”  

“What the hell Lucretia,” Taako yelled again feeling helpless, “I’m angry and junk, but I don’t want you to kill yourself.  I wanted to berate you for a couple years until I finally stopped being pissed, you can’t die now.”

“I deserve this Taako, too many people hurt because of me, too many people lost their minds because of what I tried to do, the Hunger almost destroyed another world because of me,” she said stubbornly.

“We’ve all done horrible things, remember the robot world that we almost destroyed on my suggestion.  I mean yeah we knew the Hunger was going to destroy the world anyway, but it didn’t give us the right to do the Hunger’s job for it.  I’ve lied, I’ve stolen, I’ve been horrible to my beautiful magic boy, just a bad person sometimes, but we’ve also done a lot of good.  It doesn’t make it right, but living means you can make up for the bad, so stop this dumb making things right by killing yourself shit, it’s not funny, it’s not cool, it’s just another death on our feet.”

“That’s epic Taako, but I’m a monster, not sure if I lived I wouldn’t sacrifice more lives for my beliefs,” Lucretia said before doubling over in pain as the curse started to take effect.

“No seriously stop talking like that Lucretia, this is bullshit,” Lup said panicking realizing that the bandage she was using to try and keep Lucretia alive wasn’t working. “Screw it,” she said picking up her wand and blasting a wall out with a tongue of flame.  “There’s a reason why wizards don’t do healing, we need our cleric.”

“If you keep blasting like crazy the HQ is going to fall apart even worse, the two of you could get hurt.  Stop this foolishness before you get yourself killed,” Lucretia protested.

“The fact that you don’t seen the irony in what you’re saying vs what you’re doing astounds me,” Taako said as he put on his imaginary thinking cap over his wizard hat.  “I’m getting you to Merle, he’s going to heal you and take that curse off of you, then you’re going to get some r&r for a few days while you recover and once you do I’m going to slap the shit out of you for being so stupid.  There’s only one room for an idiot wizard on this show and it’s already filled.  If you already knew about Sazed than you know I don’t share.”

“T-Taako,” Lucretia started to say, but Taako didn’t let her finish.

“You know what, Taako might have taken this shit, but I’m not Taako anymore,” Taako said and before Lucretia could say anything he doubled in size and she was surrounded by darkness.

  Lucretia’s head was pounding, which was strange since she should be dead, she didn’t get what was happening, but all the hells in existence couldn’t hurt this much which logically meant she was alive.  Her throat was raw and her eyes watered as they opened she saw the other members of the IPRE around her bed.  “H-how,” she started to say, but once again Taako didn’t let her talk.

“I cast polymorph on myself and became Dupree, a T-Rex, and carried you out of the HQ in my mouth.  Brought you to that asshole,” he pointing to Merle, “who healed your wounds and removed your dumbass curse you inflicted on yourself because he has a great relationship with his god now, glad he didn’t have it on our adventures, but whatever. As angry as I am with you Lucretia, I don’t want you to kill yourself you dumbass, so don’t do it again.”

“B-But,” Lucretia started to say, but once again no one let her.

“Nope, we’re not getting into anything right now,” Davenport said incredibly gentle for someone who was so angry at her.  “We’ll resolve things later when you’re strong enough to be yelled at Lucretia.  Until then just get better, we can’t afford to lose anything else, not after we’ve finally won.”

It wasn’t forgiveness, not that Lucretia was expected to ever be forgiven, but it showed they cared.  That was going to have to be enough for now, “fine, no more crazy stunts, I’ll get better so you can yell at me,” she promised, and she always kept her word.

  Okay, so I know the ending is a bit rushed, but I wanted to get this out before the final episode.  I hope you enjoyed it. It might be a bit sappy, but after everything everyone’s been through, not only do they deserve a bit of wrath, but they deserve years of happiness.

[getseriouser]

20 THOUGHTS: Don't go there boyfriend!

AT some point in every season a bad start can no longer be written off as a couple bad games, nor should one dismiss a great ladder position as just an easy start to the fixture.

Geelong had arguably the hardest first month and a half based on our preconceived ideas of how 2019 would shape up, and not only did they pass with flying colours they sit perched a game clear on top.

Too, if you’re of the Demon or Kangaroo persuasion, to have only win entering May with percentage as crap as Clive Palmer is likeable, that’s not ideal.

After the conclusion of the festival of footy where now the idea of weekdays without a match seems strange, we can now start to cast proper judgements as to what 2019 has in store.

 1.       Firstly, how is Jimmy Faulkner going? I mean, sure, its 2019 and language constantly evolves, but whilst I’ve been tight with some male friends before I’ve never resorted to the ‘boyfriend’ pseudonym. Sure, women refer to their girlfriends all the time, but even if it’s all a gross misunderstanding that set the media alight pre-breakfast, the use of that term, amongst blokes, has just got hairs on it, rightly or wrongly. That said, Faulkner as a bowler was proficient both over and around the wicket, so maybe he likes to…. no, that’s cheap, let’s talk footy.

2.       Paddy McCartin, pick one,  you thought, right, there’s a Tom Hawkins type to kick 500+ goals for the Sainter. Far too many headknocks later and its got the Liam Pickens written all over it. But never fear, Alan Richardson’s theory is that once he is right all will be resolved by moving him to defense, “to change not having to go back with the flight of the ball”…. Ah, God forbid Paddy ends up 10m short of an incoming opposition kick and has to go back with the…. Richo, you haven’t though that through!

3.       Let’s address Majak Daw again. This story is ridiculous, but in a lovely way. So whether we should say it or not (and I’m a massive proponent for calling suicide for what it is, but that’s for a different column) this is one hell of a comeback. Perhaps not for the typical sense, reoccurring knee injuries, the Jason McCartney story, but for the stark, cold-world reality of what happened that night on the Bolte Bridge. In a lot of ways, if he is able to return to VFL or senior footy in the next couple of months, as mooted, its less about him and his personal recovery, but more about the bigger picture, one that is now killing more Australians than pretty much everything else. I hope this can make a difference, it bloody well can and needs to.

4.       From serious to less so – now Melbourne. Kicked their lowest score since Snake was the preeminent phone app Anzac Day Eve. In real hurt. And its not just one small thing as previously suspected – they don’t win the hard ball, they are getting smashed on the outside and for run, their forward line is as dysfunctional as a vegan at Meat and Wine Co. and their backline shows as much resistance as France in any military combat. Lot to unpack, lot to fix, and those snow chalets are just putting the fire on – this spells trouble.

5.       Sydney on the other hand, well Horse has called it – after a gazillion years of annoying over-competiveness, they’re conceding a lean year. But when you’ve dished out such amazing value for ground admission over the last decade, if you’re going to finish near the bottom with a bounce back probably not far away, you can’t have much gripe if you’re a Bloods supporter.

6.       The Eagles need to get serious. Easy to say, especially given I have no interest in watching highlights of last year’s Granny, but they’re game style is like a Jackson Pollock right now. If their midfield isn’t punching above their weight Jack Darling is rendered useless, their forwards all look lazy and their backline whilst supreme can't stop the onslaught. Have an easy month coming up and will make finals, but super breakable as per the last fortnight’s evidence.

7.       Oh, yeah, the booing last Thursday. Was it coz Pendlebury exacerbated a high in that fourth quarter? Was it because a furiously competitive finish had a couple suspect-looking frees go against the Bombers, whose fans wanted to do nothing but rage against the machine? Or was it the two tribes bristling when Pendles acknowledged the crowd, the Bomber fans wanting to drown out their rowdy rivals? You know what, who cares, we don’t need a symposium for booing, next we’re going to have to stop funny puns on banners, re-write all club songs to be enthusiastically inclusive and do away with scoring all together because awarding winners and losers is essentially marginalisation. So to those who cried foul, its booing – move along.

8.       How stiff is Carlton? Lost the Suns game and then let the Hawks back in on the weekend. But, this column must concede, Bolton, an ex-Clarkson man which we acknowledge is key to success (last six premierships), might be just starting to extract from the talent he clearly now has to work with. Want to see them win this week and we will accept our fate – the Blues might be finally alright. But we wait, need to win this week.

9.       As for Tasmania, yeah so given the strength of the junior programs and some key KPIs bearing fruit in the game’s NSW strategies, the talent pool for two more teams in the next decade is mighty feasible. So the game of bluff with giving Tassie a checklist for admission is staring down the barrel of actually happening. Right now, if there’s a wager as to whether the Apple Isle has its own team by 2030, get on, it would now need something to go badly amiss.

10.   Best on ground on Sunday down there is another this column needs to concede defeat on. With supposedly knees made of fairy floss, Jaeger O’Meara looks like the talent and promise he once displayed as a Sun might be now fulfilled as a Hawk. He is the definition of a jet. Such a shame we don’t have State of Origin, a centre square of him, Cripps, Fyfe and Naitanui is as electric a side you’ll see, would give Victoria quite a run.

11.   As for a pair of midfielders not getting the kudos, couple Victorian brothers playing for the Crows – the Crouch boys. Both averaging 30 a game, Cripps aside you hardly see better clearance work, and if the Crows can work their stuff out over the next month or so, they could play finals, be a nuisance, and the two lads from Ballarat will get the recognition they deserve for being proper guns of this competition.

12.   Couple more on the Crows – firstly Josh Jenkins. Jimmy Bartel and Matty Lloyd reckon he just comes back in after being dropped for the Saints game last week. Ah, why? Himmelberg came in and whilst not as talented looks a much better fit, structurally, than Jenkins, and given the Crows looked properly good why change a winning formula? Jenkins can sit until the need arises for mine.

13.   And as for Tex Walker, gee, if he can stay fit I can’t see why he can’t become the premier big man in the game. Has the size, strength and weapons to excel. You want a bag of five, he can, you want a 15-mark game playing up the flanks, he can, you want some presence for your smalls to work off, he can. Just turned 29, this is it for the lad from Broken Hill, but this column still rates the Texan.

14.   So let’s look at the teams we like, in no order let’s applaud the Essendon effort Thursday. Well and truly out of it early but it was sheer talent and will that almost got them over the line. We like their backline, like their kids, Redman, Ridley, and with Fantasia and Francis back in that side, and a fit Joey Daniher, this team wins a final. From there, not sure, let’s see, but this is a good footy team. And capable this Sunday too.

15.   As for their opponents this Sunday, how’s the forward line mix? Two-time Brownlow medalist as a midfield playing permanent flank, Gary Rohan, known for his speed, now sitting deep and putting the pace aside. Chuck in the enigma Miers, Hawkins looks in ripping nick – if the Cats go deep, it’s because of the forward line. But it’s still April, so let’s see.

16.   The Cats have lost once, to the Giants, down at Kardinia Park too. If I’m putting a dollar on a premier – it’s the orange tsunami. Still holds elite talent, probably the best list with those concessions still ringing true, and just idling at this stage of the season. Will be almost impossible to beat in Sydney and will win plenty on the road too. Don’t forget the Giants.

17.   So how many teams can win it – to this point, five. Giants obviously, got to include the Cats, the Pies are in the mix, then the Tigers and Eagles as well. Richmond make the finals, and finish the season strongly, look out, and the Eagles will make the finals and know how to win one. I don’t think they will but shit, they finish top four again somehow then why not?

18.   Couple question marks to finish, firstly Daniel Wells. If I’m Collingwood I manage him to be fit for August. If he needs three weeks ‘management’ in June, then fine, love it. But the idea of Wells fit, playing outside of the midfield rotation where a dozen touches could be match winning come the Spring time, it’s just another really problematic magnet for the opposition coaches to be concerned about.

19.   And for those that still want to pot Daniel Hannebery’s acquisition, sure, maybe he enjoys inhaling through his nose more than his mouth, maybe it’s a breathing preference, maybe its something else, but let’s not forget, Andrew Lovett cost the Saints the same trade deal and never played a game. But that year was 2010 and they were a bad bounce away from a second-ever flag that same season. Doesn’t mean they have a similar year this year, not at all, but one bad trade does not a bad club make. The Saints will be fine.

20.   And lastly, cricket – David Warner, the enigma staring down a return to the national team, has torn the IPL a new one. No-one has scored more runs this season; he amassed 692 from ten digs, which is just insane. The premier white ball batsman in the world right now, so what was a big question mark now becomes our greatest asset perhaps for a World Cup defense. Get excited.