#its all fun and games. in the majority of the show you see jake being a very good big brother

[sugaroto]

The fact that Jake has like 5 kids and (at least) one grandchild is driving me crazy

What do you mean that mentally 12 years old magic dog who doesn't remember how old he is and is roommates with his teenage human brother has a teenage granddaughter and his best response to help her get her grades up was antagonizing her in skateboarding?

[wonniesmile]

❥ playground! (ep. 1)

⤷ ellie’s moments in playground episode 1! (ft. txt <3)

⤷ bulletpoint format !

⤷ read ep. 2 here!

ellie was like...extremely nervous.

not only was it one of the first variety shows they were ever filming, but with TXT TOO??

she has been a massive fan of theirs since debut and she was quite literally starstruck seeing them in person.

they met backstage before the recording and she couldn’t move a muscle.

if you asked her to recall what happened before filming, i could guarantee you she wouldn’t be able to.

(she might have the tiniest crush on mr. choi beomgyu and the members tease her for it relentlessly.)

had to freestyle dance in front of everyone and could not keep a straight face bcs she was so nervous.

“she’s so cute!” (said by yeonjun himself)

at that point the poor girl’s heart almost stopped.

“i want ellie on my team!” (said by yeonjun yet again)

thinks her life flashed before her eyes at that very moment.

hey...do u remember when i mentioned her tiny crush on beomgyu? yep! as it turns out...jay actually forced her hands up for his team when picking groups!

great job jay! (from me of course...ellie was mad)

anyways, she tried pulling it back down, but obviously she gave up after remembering how strong he was lol.

so here she was...standing next to the one and only choi beomgyu...face literally tomato red (good thing makeup is a thing!)

“hey ellie-” , “don’t talk to me rn.”

that was her conversation with jay by the way, she was mad (at least on the outside, her heart was pounding very heavily on the inside).

“hi! i’m beomgyu, and you’re ellie right?”

oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

he knows her NAME? HER DAMN NAME.

alright, ellie calm tf down.

“yeah! i’m a big fan of you guys!”

why in the hell would you say that? are you literally stupid-

“aw thank you! you’re very good at dancing, we should collab sometime!”

...

what?

no.

there’s no way that just-

wait...

come again?

“wh-? oh- uh- u-”

“she’d love to collaborate!”

thanks jungwon, she owes you one.

“yeah! what he said!”

good god, that was the most embarrassing thing she has ever experienced in her life.

back to the actual show, they were put into desks.

ellie tried sitting in between jungwon and taehyun, but of course, jay being the literal devil he is, forced ellie to sit next to beomgyu.

jungwon giggled and she gave him a death stare.

was red the entire time.

kinda carried the group, along with mr. yang.

knew all the questions during the quizzes and beomgyu would compliment her each time.

i think her ego went straight through the roof every time gyu complimented her.

she would make eye contact with sunoo from across the room and they’d both start laughing their butts off.

“why are you laughing so hard?” (jungwon)

“oh its nothing.” she says this as she wipes the tears from her eyes.

after the quiz missions, they had to do the blindfold challenge.

jay (being the annoying ass he is) tried to get ellie to do it with beomgyu, but she didn’t budge.

“you know you want to ellie~” (jay in a mocking tone)

“shut up.”

ended up doing it with jungwon.

giggled so much at the feeling.

held jungwons hands bcs she was “scared”.

“WHAT IS THIS.”

it was cold and- “HARMONICA!”

ellie won the round (as she most def should)

then it was time for the tennis game shat.

OH GOD. what a game.

they went second, after ni-ki, sunoo, yeonjun, and heeseung’s team, so they had time to prepare.

made “small talk” with beomgyu.

(it was literally just her blushing, nodding, and staring in awe the whole time, but beomgyu didn’t seem to mind.)

got really immersed in the game being played in front of them and started clapping every time the other team failed.

sucked at the game (oops).

they almost came in last, but thankfully, she had good teammates.

tripped on her own foot like 80,946 times, suprised she didn’t break a bone.

she would hear one of her members laugh from the sideline and she’d have to try so hard not to laugh.

the next game was ~easy~ as stated by ellie.

“we are the one!” beomgyu said in english, made ellie burst into laughter.

first word was crab, she got that one right (or at least the majority of her teammates picked the same one as her (majority=jungwon and taehyun)

if she was being honest, her team sucked at the game.

its alright though, it was fun.

she liked watching the other teams fail, it was so entertaining to her.

“JAKE ISN’T DOING THE SAME HAND!”

got really defensive for some odd reason.

others found it adorable.

sadly, the episode had to end there.

but THANKFULLY, they were gonna shoot more.

she said her ending ment. and threw finger hearts at the camera.

after the shooting for the first ep. ended, she became close to huening (after finding out he brought his nintendo switch).

they played for so long in the dressing room.

won every time...yep.

“WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD?” (this is hyuka as ellie is absolutely crushing his dreams)

“i dont know, hai.” (ellie with the biggest smug smile on her face)

“its her secret talent.” (heeseung mentions next to her)

“everyone, get ready for the next shoot!”

“darn, let’s play again later!” hyuka says.

ellie nods her head so aggressively (it legitimately almost snapped).

that pretty much sums up the first episode!

(someoneee got a little jealous with the whole beomgyu and ellie ordeal, but i wont name names rn...figure it out for yourself ;))

[ultrahpfan5blog]

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 5 Retrospective

Finished season 5 rewatch a few days ago. Season 5 was an eventful year for the show, on and off the screen. Off screen the show got cancelled on Fox, had a huge public outcry over the cancellation which included several celebrities, and then got picked up by NBC all in 48 hours. It was an exhilarating time as a B99 fan. Lot of stuff happened on screen as well, Jake and Rosa were in prison, team got them out, Jake and Amy got engaged, Rosa came out as bisexual to the precinct and her parents, Holt was in the running to be NYPD Commissioner, Amy became a Sergeant, and then Jake and Amy got married. Eventful season to say the least. Its also my favorite season of the show.

Honestly, this season is about as close to perfection I felt with a season. In other seasons there are at least an episode or two which I felt were meh or problematic. Season 5 is near flawless. I think Return to Skyfire is the weakest of the episodes but its still pretty fun. There are several episodes of season 5 that all rank in the top 10 B99 episodes in my opinion. The show also takes some risks with a couple of experimental episodes. There are episodes with a lot of heart, there are episodes that absolutely hilarious, there are ensemble episodes, there are two hander episode. some excellent new guest stars, and many great recurring stars.

I think the two prison episodes are pretty interesting. Tim Meadows as Caleb is absolutely amazing. He is so likable and low key hilarious that the fact that he's a cannibal who eats children always feels like a dark surprise. He and Andy Samberg make for a fun duo. The first of the two episodes is particularly fun. The show doesn't hesitate to show the danger of Jake being in the prison, especially the situation he finds himself by the end of the premiere. The show does connect one story to the next pretty seamlessly with the end of the Melanie Hawkins story connecting the the Seamus Murphy story which then connected to the Holt commissioner story. There are also a couple of really good experiments in experiments and story with The Box and Show Me Going. The Box is B99 at its most confident. Apart from Gina very briefly at the beginning and Boyle very briefly at the end, the entire episode really hinges on only three characters. Jake, Holt, and Sterling K. Brown's Dr. Davidson. Its a brilliant showcase for all three actors and all three characters. I believe Brown got a Guest Actor Emmy nomination for his performance and he's brilliant as the smarmy Dentist who really is in control for majority of the episode. Braugher and Samberg were old pros with their dynamic at this point and this is fantastic Jake and Holt episode because you completely get why Jake wants so badly to prove that he's right in front of Holt why being cast as the screw up and the idiot in the interrogation frustrates him so much because we know how much Holt's approval means to him. We also see why Terry call Jake his best detective back in season 1 because of how he riles up Davidson to get the confession at the end and getting the approval of Holt that he wanted. Its an incredibly satisfying episode and one of the show's best imo. Then there is also 'Show me Going' which is a surprisingly tense episode in which nothing tense actually happens on screen. The episode does a great job working with the fact that the only knowledge the squad has is that Rosa is on the scene of an active shooter situation. Basically we are in the same situation as the characters. Since all the characters are on edge, so are we. The show does a nice job balancing humor and recognize the danger of the situation.

The season has probably my favorite B99 episode and definitely by fav B99 Halloween episode with HalloVeen. Whereas the last three Halloween episodes were predictable or spoiled from the promos, this one actually threw a genuine surprise. I knew Jake and Amy would get engaged some point in the season, but I expected it to be on the much hyped 99th episode. Instead it can much earlier with HallowVeen and its a delight from start to finish. Its great to rewatch the episode because you pick up little signs that Jake was a bit more desperate to win than usual. First when he says that planning for the heist is what got him through prison time, and then when he says to Boyle that he has to win this time and this heist is way too important. On first watch, these details just slip by as regular overzealous Jake but they have additional poignancy on repeat. The actual proposal moment is handled beautifully in a very peraltiago way where it is both funny and romantic, with Charles' reaction being the cherry on top. There are quite a few strong related episodes that follow. The Venue being a fun return with the Vulture, Two Turkeys being a TWW reunion with Smits and Whitford returning as Amy and Jake's fathers. Its a better Thanksgiving episode than the previous season Smits appearance. Bachelor/ette party is another glorious episode with wild, fun shenanigans with Reginald VelJohnson appearing as himself. Jake & Amy is a very typical wedding episode where everything goes wrong but its perfect in all the right ways. Its heartwarming and sweet. You get more examples of how Jake and Amy are perfect for each other with Jake knowing the inside and outs of how Amy stresses out, and then ending on a wonderful B99 wedding with Fred Armisen returning to make a cameo appearance as Mlep(clay)nos. The episode was designed to work as a series finale since the potential for cancellation was there and while it leaves the season on a cliffhanger about Holt's job, its the sort of cliffhanger that we could have interpreted positively if the show hadn't gotten picked up by NBC.

The 99th and 100th episode of the show were also memorable. The creators chose to acknowledge the 99th episode in a way that most shows acknowledge the 100th episode, in true 99 style. Its a full ensemble episode barring the absence of Chelsea who would return on the 100th episode. Its a typical road trip episode which kickstarts the Holt commissioner storyline. It also is the episode where Rosa comes out as Bi to Charles. This was obviously a big story for Stephanie since she is bi as well and she championed this story. It gets explored in further depth next episode, but Stephanie Beatriz gets to do some of her best work in these two episodes, showing her vulnerability without losing her toughness. Game Night honestly feels very true to not just coming out as Bi to your parents but true to any child who has to confess something that would be against their conservatives parents' values. I think Game Night is a fantastically bittersweet episode and Danny Trejo is brilliantly cast as Rosa's father. The episode positions him as the parent whose reaction Rosa is most worried about and I love how they show that while its difficult for him to grasp the concept bisexuality, he comes around to accepting it and accepting Rosa. But the episode is still bittersweet with Rosa's mom not having come to terms with it. Its also an excellent Rosa and Jake episode where we see Jake endure incredibly uncomfortable situations to help Rosa. Its a characteristic that helps make Jake so endearing that he's willing to cross all limits for his friends.

There are lots of fun and hilarious episodes in between. Craig Robinson shows up as Doug Judy in The Negotiations which is another fun ep. Kevin and Jake get a great episode dealing with their dynamic in Safe House. Rosa and Amy have some fun in White Whale as the Sleuth Sisters. Pimento returns in Gray Star Mutual for some more crazy shenanigans. Gray Star Mutual also has my favorite cold open of all time with Jake leading a suspect lineup in a rendition of 'I got it that way', totally forgetting the crime that he's got the lineup for. Its pitch perfect and I've lost count of how many times I've seen that cold open on youtube. It basically has its own fanbase and introduced so many people to B99. We also get to see Naseem Pedrad as Jake's sister Katie and the end up having a cute dynamic. David Fumero shows up in The Puzzle Master. There are also pretty funny episodes dealing with some serious subject matter such Jake dealing with his own doubts in his ability to do his job after Prison in Kicks and Holt dealing with gambling addiction in Bad Beat. All handled very sensitively.

All in all, this was a fantastic season for the show. I had a blast rewatching it and it ended the Fox era in spectacular note. A 9.5/10. Now on to season 6.

'

[showrunnerihardlyknowher]

You know how we have pet costumes? Give Jacob one, make him a cute space cowboy😈😈😈

WE'RE BACK BABY

Please enjoy this little ficlet (that was actually my 3rd attempt to write a fluffy ficlet for this universe because all the other ones kept becoming future chapters lmao)

--

“This is humiliating. I look like sheriff Woody or something.”

“Aw, I was thinking more like John Wayne Gacy, you know?”

“The...the clown serial killer…?”

Angie pursed her lips. “Wait, who was the cowboy guy in all the old movies? Like, before Clint Eastwood and whatever.”

“That’s John Wayne. Not John Wayne Gacy,” Jacob tugged at the sleeves of his costume and readjusted his cowhide vest. “And I don’t feel anywhere near as cool as him right now.”

She rolled her eyes and crinkled her nose. “That’s because you’re not cool. You’re a grown man playing dress up with a kindergartener.”

“So are you.”

Angie straightened her Native American headpiece and threw one of her braided pigtails behind her. “Yeah, but I know it’s stupid, so therefore I’m doing it ironically which makes me cool.”

Jacob sighed heavily but didn’t argue further, instead tugging his cowboy hat down further to shield his face that burned with embarrassment. Being forced into having playdates with his captor’s coworker was nothing new. He had spent plenty of time being Mibao’s sole playmate aboard the ship, doing the best he could to keep the six year girl entertained and not too psychologically damaged. Being the youngest in a sibling group of only boys, he was a bit rusty when it came to knowing anything about kids. Thankfully, Mibao was more than happy to take him by the hand and show up all the “fun” things she used to either do back home or what she would now do with her “kitty”.

Today’s game of choice was dress up. Every day felt like dress up when it came to the girl’s ever expanding wardrobe; she was always dressed in an obnoxiously puffy and sparkling princess dress fashioned with ribbons and bows galore and always with a matching crown. Fine, no big deal, he could slap a tiara on his head and call it a day, he’d worn worse at the few fraternity parties he attended during college. Nope, not good enough. Mibao had a very specific game she wanted to play which involved him wearing a cowboy costume of all things. A very realistic and detailed cowboy costume, assless chaps and spurs and all. Again, he could...handle it for the most part. The only thing that really bothered him about it was all the coos and giggles he received from both his and Mibao’s captors when he finally came out in his new outfit.

And he knew for a fact they took many, many pictures of him.

It didn’t end there, Mibao still had more requests. Angie needed to join in as well and she was required to be an “indian princess” to partake. Naturally, she was more than happy to agree if it meant getting a break from the absolute nightmare of a captor she had been saddled with. So, now Jacob had to deal with the fact that she would have to watch him play pretend in this ridiculous getup. He could never catch a break with her, it seemed, she always had to catch him when he was in the middle of doing something cringe worthy. She didn’t even look half as uncomfortable as him and she was literally wearing half as much clothing.

Or maybe that was exactly why she was so comfortable as she sauntered up to him, making a finger pistol to tip his hat away from his face. “Cheer up, partner,” she teased. “I think it makes you look cute.”

“I think it makes me look like Owen Wilson from the museum movie,” Jacob replied, hoping the shadow of the brim hid his reddening cheeks.

“Oh my God, you are a tiny little twink cowboy, huh?”

“I’d rather be the gladiator guy.”

“You wish you could pull off being the gladiator guy.”

A rebuttal was on the tip of his tongue when Mibao made her appearance from behind the monitor where she had been changing. This time instead of her usual princess attire, she was dressed...pretty much the same, only this time she had a tiny pair or iridescent fairy wings attached to the back. What a fairy had to do with cowboys and indians, he hadn’t the faintest idea. She stopped when she saw the two of them and stuck out her tongue in childish disgust.

“Eww, stop kissing!” She scolded. “You can kiss the princess later, Jake, it’s time to play!”

Jacob had never been more grateful in his life that the creatures idly watching them couldn’t understand English because he just might have died if they heard. He could feel the heat radiating from his nape to his cheeks, putting his hands up in defense like it could keep Angie away from him.

“Wh-no! We weren’t, we weren’t kissing, Reagan, w-we-!”

Angie only cackled, her amusement stemming more from Jacob’s panicked response than the actual accusation of giving him a kiss. “Yeah, cowboy, you can kiss me later.” She winked and nudged him with her elbow as she walked past to where Mibao was waiting.

He groaned, tugging the hat down as far as it would go even if that meant obscuring his vision somewhat. That was totally fine, he didn’t want to look at anyone right now and he did not want to be perceived either. The child was leading them back over to her designated play area scattered with art supplies and stuffed toys for where they’ll play their game of make believe. Angie was already sitting on her knees by the time he shuffled over and beckoned him with a sly smile to come take a seat on the ground next to her. Jacob obliged, but refused to give her the satisfaction of seeing his beet red face.

As soon as they were settled, Mibao immediately launched into the exposition of the scene they would be putting on, including their roles and superpowers (that only she had because she was a magical fairy queen). Jacob was only half listening; the kid usually forgot half of her own rules in the middle of playing anyways because she wanted to change the story and it wasn’t that hard to follow her game of make believe. Instead, he kept side-eying Angie, who was side-eying him back, and every time they made eye contact she would smile and bump his shoulder with hers.

This was going to be a long playdate.

--

The lab door slid open as Talan walked in, peeling off his bloodied gloves to dispose of them in Ylva’s waste bin. “I need my human back.”

“Aw, why? They’re all having a ball together!” Ylva frowned, gesturing to the miniature trio on her desk. Well, the smallest one and Talan’s pet seemed like they were having a good time, namely at the expense of the other human in a hat. They all seemed to stop at the interruption, his human fixing him with a sneer that he was tempted to match.

“What the fuck is it wearing?” He asked, ignoring all the little protests he got when he grabbed it and plucked the stupid looking feather thing of its head. “I thought you said it’s not nice to torment the humans.”

Edix scoffed at him, though his annoyance was more from Talan being in his general vicinity than anything. “It’s not torment. They were having fun.”

Talan did not look convinced in the slightest, his eyes sweeping over the pup who was pouting at him for taking away its playmate and the other who froze any time he breathed in its direction. Like owner, like pet, he assumed as it seemed to unconsciously inch closer to where Edix’s hand was resting for a better sense of security. Pathetic. At least his pet had a bit more self respect and wasn’t afraid to try and stab him in the hand with his own tools. Of course, it got a sharp flick to the stomach to knock it off, but he could appreciate the gumption.

Talan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, looks like a real party. So sad to have missed it.”

“Like you’ve ever been to a party to know what it looks like.”

“Says the one that only hangs out with plants.”

“Okay,” Ylva interjected, rising from her chair and scooping up her adorable little human. “You’re right, we should probably wrap this up, Mibao’s going to need a nap soon and she likes to fight her naps when she’s excited.”

That was all the excuse Talan needed to dip out without a formal goodbye, though it didn’t escape the corner of his eye how Edix’s human took a half step forward when he left, almost like it wanted to say something. Even if it did, he wouldn’t have cared. As quickly as he had intruded, Talan disappeared back down the main hall of the fauna department to return to his lab.

Edix stood up as well and tucked the data pad he had been keeping busy with under his arm to keep his hands free. He couldn’t help but smile at seeing how much closer his little pet was standing to him, even if it wasn’t by much, even though it was caused by Talan of all bastards. A win was a win in his book. The hand the human had been partly hiding behind curled easily around it to lift it up, immediately cradling it to his chest as usual. It squirmed for a moment but settled quick enough, a clear sign it was also ready to go back to the lab it was accustomed to. For a social species, the little one always seemed so drained after any playdate Ylva arranged for their pets. Fine by him, it usually meant his human was much more quiet and well behaved once it was back in the solitude of Edix’s company, making for an easier work day.

He used his finger to tilt back the wide brimmed hat it had been using to hide its sweet little face a majority of the playdate, earning him a surprised squeak. With the way its baby cheeks were turning an adorable shade of pink, Edix had a fairly good guess as to why it was trying to avoid everyone’s line of sight. Damn, he should have had Ylva take more pictures, this was way too cute for him. It reached up to quickly pull its shield back down and Edix let it with a laugh, cooing as he tugged at its little vest instead which only made it wriggle in distress. Overdramatic little thing.

“Can I keep this costume?” He asked as he followed behind Ylva who was preparing to put her own pup down for a nap. In reality, it meant she was going to have to play with it for at least another half an hour because, much like him, she was a sucker when it came to her human wanting to play. The difference being that Mibao wanted to do anything from coloring to singing to continuing its game of make believe while Edix’s pet always wanted to play chase.

Ylva smiled and shrugged. “Sure, I mean, it’s not like it’s going to fit the baby. It was printed for its measurements specifically, anyways.” Mibao was proving to be difficult in its refusal to relinquish the shiny wings Ylva had designed at its request, something that Ylva quickly made a game out of by setting her pup on the desk and letting it squeal and run while her hands chased after it. That would tire the kid out in no time. She looked back at his human and giggled. “I don’t think it likes it very much, though.”

Oh yeah, that was obvious from the get go, but it didn’t change the fact that it was way too precious for its own good in this type of outfit. Edix actually quite liked the contrast of the dark brown against its pale skin, even more given the fact that it matched the color of its doe eyes perfectly. It was much more appealing than that splotchy green jacket it was inexplicably attached to. He had a feeling it was going to try and strip out of this outfit as soon as it was back in Edix’s lab, provided he gave it its normal suit and jacket to change into. But...maybe he didn’t have to offer it its spare set of clothes right away. Maybe it would just have to hang around in its little boots and hat for a couple hours longer while he finished up his latest report that was just so important to get done. And maybe he would get constantly distracted by how cute it looked while it was definitely pouting at him for not taking off its costume that it took a little longer than usual to finish his work, which meant it spent even longer pouting under its hat.

Decisions, decisions.

Edix waved his hand dismissively. “It’ll learn to love it.”

“Oh, Eddie, don’t be mean to it,” Ylva laughed, not that seemed bothered by the idea of his pet keeping the outfit on for an extended period of time beyond the playdate. “But send pictures if you do.”

[monkey-network]

Crash Bandicoot the Series Episodes

52 Episodes; To stop N Tropy and Cortex’s Plan Z that puts reality in jeopardy, Crash and Coco must travel between dimensions to gather crystals necessary. Along the way, the duo meets familiar faces and it’s a guess of whether they’re friend or foe. Then again for Crash, an enemy’s just a friend you haven’t made yet.

Method of the Marsupials: Spelunking down an ancient temple, Coco slowly feels inferior compared to Crash’s spontaneity always lucking out. Then again, Crash has never been one without his sister.

The Titanfields and Mucoltants: A chase after a baby mutant leads to a universe where two different clans have been feuding for generations and it’s up to the Bandicoots to finally put an end to it, or make the fighting feel different.

Crash Cultivation: Our siblings split up momentarily and Crash’s adventure involves helping a farmer confront a curse that prevents anything from growing on his land.

In My Element: Coco’s adventure is a puzzle room, literally a room full of puzzles she has to solve to get out. She’s having a blast, but comes to realize that the joy could be endless.

Breakfasticoot: Taking a break from gathering the crystals, Crash decides to go into the morning wilderness to get his sister breakfast in bed. Needless to say, it isn’t easy for our unbreakable hero.

Tense Theory: In order to get the next crystal, Coco needs to show that she can relax like her brother.

Tales as Old as Tiny: The Bandicoots encounter Tiny Tiger, depressed and very lacking in muscle. Crash wants to help, leading to the two entering the wildcat’s mind.

Minuscule Madness (Part 1): The Bandicoots reach a dimension that has everyone in it out to kill them. The problem is that the “everyone” are too small to be noticeable by the duo.

Minuscule Madness (Part 2): Crash’s body has been invaded by the small people and Coco must figure out how to save her bro before he dies or the small people die first due to Crash’s surprisingly volatile insides.

Jake and the Crashman: Crash is split from Coco and is thrust into a noir story involving wumpa fruit, cars, and a hidden conspiracy.

War the Game: Crash and Coco face off against a supercomputer possessing a crystal where losing will mean the end of that world, the heart and mind of our Bandicoot siblings truly at unity this episode.

Coco Kaijuu: The next dimension our siblings enter have them transformed into giant monsters and while Coco wants to be peaceful towards the civilians, Crash is having fun with his new form which unleashes a force trying to stop them.

Rip Roo Ca-Choo: Ripper Roo is alone after his original defeat from Crash, rejected by Cortex and with no direction. He then sees Crash again and becomes determined to exact his revenge.

Crash the Bachelor: A hopeless romantic Skunk finds love when Crash is the one being that isn’t driven away by his putrid stench. And while Crash enjoys being friends, our bandicoot doesn’t care about getting closer.

Tawna Comes to Tango: Dimension hopping Pirate Tawna shows up to help our Bandicoots win the crystal at a casino but her love of risk soon gets in the way.

Bookbrain: Our new trio visit the library where a crystal’s hidden and the former two decide to get Crash into more advanced reading. Crash loves it at first, but when the three discover the comic book section, it’s a challenge to keep that and Crash separate.

Animal House: Crash, Coco, and Tawna have to strengthen their teamwork to face a chicken, a monkey, and a shiny jellyfish in order to get the crystal.

Ghostdusters: Tawna doesn’t believe in ghosts, but a trek through a haunted house suddenly has her scared sneezing. The three try to make their way in and out, but finding the crystal will mean cleaning things up.

Crashket Ball: A game so complicated for Tawna and Coco leads to Crash helping them understand things his way.

Why Love Him: Tawna is separated from her friends into another dimension and stumbles across a dejected Crash that’s been through what she went through long ago in her dimension. She tries to cheer him up, and comes to realize what she saw in him originally.

The Messiness of Music: Our trio have to confront N Gin in a music contest in three days but instruments aren’t their forte, Crash and Tawna can’t and won’t sing, and Coco is overwhelmed in making the best song. However, music doesn’t have to be flawless to feel good.

Crashcading Fury: Crash wakes up angry and on destructive rampage for the next crystal. A scared Coco and Tawna do what they can, desperately trying to get their more cool, easy-going buddy back. 

Lunchtime: Crash, Coco, and Tawna have the chance to relax and get sandwiches and the Komodo brothers are sent out to kill them.

Ahoy Baby: A young group of aliens claim Tawna as their mom and she joyously comes to teach them how to live her way.

The House of N (Part 1): Knowing the trio’s progress, Cortex comes up with the idea of bringing multiple versions of himself to come up with ideas in stopping them.

The House of N (Part 2): A battle of the one true Neo Cortex ensues, leading to our main scientist at odds with himself of where everything went wrong.

Aku Uka Alone: Uka Uka and Aku Aku mentally link and argue over the faith they have in their hero/villains.

Dream Reaper: In this silent but musical episode, N Tropy sends a villain capable of killing people while they’re dreaming to the trio, only for our villain to underestimate all three’s imaginative capabilities.

Pace and Test: Crash is challenged to a simultaneous physical and academic exam for a crystal which is where his sister and bestie put their all into making him the best of both worlds.

Ferally Feud: Crash and Tawna get into an argument, leading Coco to try moderating and sees why she loves them both.

It Takes a Bandicoot to Save a Village: Former chief Papu Papu asks Crash to help rebuild his village after Cortex’s meddling might force them to leave the island.

Crate Minds Think Alike: Cortex manages to weaken the trio to the point where they can’t bash crates anymore, leading to them pushing each other to get stronger in the real way.

Dial D for Dingo: Meeting up with an old chum at his “established” restaurant, the Bandicoots take a stand when health inspectors have come to shut down the place by ANY means.

Two Times Tropy: While Cortex is out, N Tropy and his female alternate are working on repairs but are ignorantly making things worse with their constant ego stroking.

Crash The Banditoon: The trio reach a blank dimension where things feel different, more animated and that’s saying something. Crash isn’t complaining though.

Juicy Juiced: A special wumpa Crash finds gives the trio enhanced ability but at the cost of sleeping for days. So they keep eating it in order to come up with an antidote to null the effects at the risk of an eternal sleep.

Lab Rat Revolution: The trio arrive at a place populated by a majority of Brio’s rejects and helps them get revenge.

Wayback Brio: An encounter with N. Brio has him and Coco stuck in a cavern. While Crash and Tawna figure out a way to their freedom, the two inside are forced to rewalk their former relationship.

The Skinner (Halloween Special): Crash is possessed by an evil spirit that’s known for desiring the skin of its victim, unbeknownst to Tawna and Coco though, an unstable spirit can’t control an unstable body.

You’re a Bad Man, Dr. Cortex: Cortex arrives in a dimension where he’s the leader of the world, only this version is a good guy. Naturally he replaces the other Cortex and tries to spin the world into his image, but is conflicted that he’ll destroy a utopia he technically made himself.

Nurse Bandicoot: Coco catches a high fever after a trip through the arctic dimension, and the others do what they can for her. Crash surprisingly takes things slow while Tawna is frantic in making things better.

Do Mursupials Dream of Magic Sheep?: Crash suddenly gets nightmares and it affects him while awake. One night, a figure appears in his dream and the two adventure to found out how to resolves these bitter feelings.

Cocomotion: A trip to the future has Coco visit a successful version of herself. As such, it’s the age old case between future versus family. 

Crunched Kindness (1/2 Hour Christmas Special): Infiltrating Cortex’s castle, the trio frees a disheveled Crunch Bandicoot and helps him see the beauty of the world.

High School Bandicoot: The Trio are stuck in a video game dating sim where Crash has to win in one go or get deleted forever.

Fishing for Crystals: A fish eats a crystal, a bigger fish eats the little and so on, forcing our heroes to fish differently in the effort to get it back.

Continue?: Crash finds himself alone in a dreary world where it turns out he's dead. He meets a little possum girl and her big bodyguard as they help him uncover a way back to life.

The Trials of Crash Bandicoot: Crash is framed for multiple interdimensional crimes in space court, all of which are Cortex’s doings, and while Coco and Tawna play defense, everyone he’s encounter over the series comes to either his aid or prosecution, and Cortex has something up his sleeve, Crash himself is seemingly out cold during everything.

The Dimmer of Hope: After the events of the previous episode, Cortex has all the crystals and the trio’s banished to the end of the universe. All feels lost, so all that’s left to do is reminisce of the adventures the three got to have.

The Dimensional Dance (Part 1): Cortex and the N Tropys have everything set for multiversal domination but argue over how they want to do things. Meanwhile the trio get back to reality and figure out a way to destroy the crystals. 

The Dimensional Dance (Part 2): Crash has absorbed all of the power of the reality machine to make a universe in his own image. Tawna, Coco, the N Tropys, and Cortex are aware and find out that this won’t be stable for much longer and have to save Crash to reverse the effects.

The Never Ending Story (Series Finale): Crash is alone again, not dead, this time in a plane outside all existence and, given the chance to speak for the first time, reflects on his life and everything he got to have to a being he’s familiar with.

[jcmorrigan]

I saw the tag- I am gonna ask you about the crossover universe- (omg I’m literally gushing about this)

OH, IT IS TIME!

 So you can find a lot of this on the “What is the WHAM ARMY?” page on my blog – I’ll try to remember to link it; I’m drafting this in a word processor first so I don’t use it. Essentially, this is the universe I’ve created for my fanfic “Taking Back the Crown,” which is about…basically my favorite villains all moving into the same house and trying to take over the multiverse. And then it got lore. And more lore. Because I cannot write anything normal. The fic is nearing its 150th chapter and I’m nowhere NEAR exhausted of all the ideas I want to put in it – it’s just my big playground for hyperfixation fun. Anyway, here’s a rundown of the major points of it!

 THE CAST

 The main characters are the eight villains who are the founders of the WHAM ARMY. The faction name is an acronym of their first initials. They’re my ultrafaves, the villains I always get fluttery heart for, and probably the biggest collection of losers you can imagine. I’ll put them in order of the acronym and give you some background on how each entered the team.

Wuya (Xiaolin Showdown) – So the connecting factor between these people is that Mozenrath (his name is a few slots down) is their team leader and the one who decided to build a team in the first place. Wuya was recruited when Mozenrath found her puzzle box in an ancient vault. This is set post-series for XS (and Chronicles is not at all canon), so what had happened is in the big Showdown right after Raimundo was named team leader officially in the finale, the Xiaolin Monks won ALL the Shen Gong Wu to their side and stuffed Wuya in the box. So Mozenrath found her and let her out so they could be pals. A magic potion let her regain human form fairly early on, and her power isn’t even nerfed either the way Chase Young would’ve done.

Huntsman (American Dragon: Jake Long) – ADJL is also post-series in this timeline. Mozenrath has the power to resurrect people from the dead at will because he’s memorized an ancient and incredibly complex ritual that he can execute mentally (note that this means you can remove this ability from him by tampering with his memories). The Huntsman was resurrected so as to show Mozenrath around the old Huntsclan vault (which is where they found Wuya’s puzzle box). No other Huntsclan member survived the purge except Rose (and 88 and 89, but they don’t count and aren’t in this story), so the Huntsman is starting from square one.

Ayam Aghoul (Aladdin: The Animated Series): Basically just got sick of losing. He’d teamed up with a few other rando Aladdin rogues to try and pick a fight with Maleficent, and she sent him packing. So he ended up finding one of the few residents of the Seven Deserts who was powerful enough to match him AND had a similar grudge against Maleficent.

Mozenrath (Aladdin: The Animated Series): The man of the hour and the creator of the entire team. He starts the fic by crashing Maleficent’s KH Disney Villain alliance and trying to add himself to it, but…ends up being such a disrespectful nuisance that Hades just drags him straight down to the Underworld. That moment inspired him to get his OWN band of friends and start making a name for himself.

Archibald Snatcher (The Boxtrolls): Met Mozenrath in the Underworld after his death in film canon. Annoyed Hades one too many times by claiming that he wasn’t actually supposed to die, seeing as he isn’t allergic to dairy (he is), so Hades threw him in the same cell as Mozenrath and…

Roman Torchwick (RWBY): I started writing this fic in 2016, immediately post-V3, so it’s canon-divergent after the last episode of V3 (but I got all the later-game characters to show up eventually). Which means Roman is ALSO dead at the start of this fic. He ALSO comes storming up to Hades insisting he’s not even supposed to be dead. At the same time as Snatcher is already pestering him. Which is how Mozenrath, Snatcher, and Roman end up in the same jail cell in Tartarus and get the idea that maybe they should break back into the world of the living and try to build something BETTER than what any of the three had beforehand.

Mad Madam Mim (The Sword in the Stone): Mozenrath, immediately after breaking out of the Underworld, attempted to take over Arthur’s kingdom by just walking in and throwing magic around. It backfired horribly when Merlin showed up. But then Mim showed up to counter Merlin and realized that maybe she had a potential friend here who was as blackhearted as she.

Yzma (The Emperor’s New Groove): Post-TENG, no KNG or TENS (but I reference things from TENS every now and again). Merlin turned Mozenrath into a rat, so Mim brought him to Yzma’s Secret Lab to change him back. There, they found Yzma as a cat, and she so desperately wanted out of her living situation that she added herself to the team. She was also restored to human form shortly thereafter.

 There is a potential ninth member of the core in the form of Vexen (Kingdom Hearts). KH is canon-divergent after DDD and basically ignores almost every game that comes out after Fragmentary Passage. Vexen, as Even, was trying to integrate into life as a hero in Radiant Garden, except everyone annoyed him way too much, so he decided to go be with people that would give right back any insults he dished out. And then realized he was much happier being on the evil team and doing mad science with no ethics. However, he will not be promoted to the upper ranks because 1. it would spoil the acronym and 2. he is unanimously agreed-upon to be the biggest wet blanket of the group and nobody wants him at the founder parties.

(Imagine my disbelief when the actual canon arc for Vexen was THE REVERSE ONE IN WHICH HE JUST DECIDES TO GO LIVE AT RADIANT GARDEN AND NOT BE ANNOYED BY ANYTHING and that’s why JC doesn’t like Kingdom Hearts III)

 Anyway, this crew is a bunch of silly friends who enjoy partying, singing, dancing, drag, indulging in vices, causing mayhem, taking over cities, arranging for mass murder, piecing together smear campaigns…but they’re all pretty much ride or die for each other. And that goes double for the ships of the set: Mozenrath/Huntsman, Mim/Aghoul, Wuya/Yzma, and my favorite ship to end all favorites, Roman/Snatcher (RedHatBlackHat is the ship name).

From there, you have a B-Squad of, like, seventy other people based on my faves. Nonnie, I know you saw this because of Vincent Edgeworth, Victor Blake, and Albert Krueger, and they are three of COUNTLESS examples. It’s a found crime family that keeps getting bigger as I get more fave villains and there’s hardly a rhyme or a reason. Currently, they live in a floating fortress designed when they stole Terra Cyclonia (Storm Hawks) and hefted it out into the aether between worlds with crystal technology.

 They have a rival hero faction in the form of the Cinnamons: a gathering of people who they’ve wronged who turned out to make pretty good friends themselves. While the WHAM ARMY are the villain-protag team that you feel slightly bad loving the escapades of, the Cinnamons are the rainbows, fluff, sunshine, (secret crippling depression and anxiety), and pep-talkers of the multiverse. They’re the deuteragonist team as opposed to the “villains” of the story. They also have eight “leaders,” but they were picked up a little less quickly than the WHAM ARMY founders, instead coming together over the span of a much longer quest. These people are:

Sora (Kingdom Hearts): Heart of the team and the person who pulled them all together, because Sora loves everyone. He, Riku, and Kairi witnessed the WHAM ARMY wreaking destruction on both Radiant Garden and Disney Castle, and Sora decided no one gets to treat his homes-away-from-home like that and get away with it! Between Mozenrath and the still-looming threats of Maleficent and Xehanort, he’s now collecting pals from all worlds to fight against evil and do as much good as they can do! (While having sleepovers.)

Ruby Rose (RWBY): Before she, Nora, Ren, and Jaune could get into Mistral, Sora interrupted them on their path and directed them right back around to Vale with the news that Roman Torchwick was back in action. After an incident involving the Destiny Trio and Team RNJR having to team up and actually kill the massive Grimm unleashed in the V3 endgame, they all headed out to Radiant Garden together to continue their mission.

Papyrus (Undertale): Sora found him while exploring worlds and they clicked immediately as pals. Then the WHAM ARMY, who was living in Mt. Ebott at the time, sparked an anti-monster racist sentiment through the town, and Papyrus was advised to leave the world for his own safety, so he went traveling with Sora.

Stork (Storm Hawks): Maleficent, who is also an active player in this game, made a power play by destroying the Condor with the entire Storm Hawks team onboard while they were on the Far Side of Atmos (post-series). Stork, believing himself to be the only survivor, attempted to take his own life – only for Sora to show up just in time and offer him something better: hope that his friends survived, and new friends to tag along with until they could prove either way.

Jasmine (Aladdin): The Cinnamons came looking to Agrabah for more information on Mozenrath. When Jasmine heard he was causing chaos, she decided to get personally involved.

Katara (Avatar: The Last Airbender): Post-ATLA, no LoK. Sora made a trip to the Fire Nation to see if he could head off the WHAM ARMY’s latest scheme, and ran into the Gaang along the way. After helping Katara, Aang, and Zuko protect the Fire Nation from a very near miss, Sora invited them to come travel with him. Only Katara accepted at first, the other two wanting to clean things up on their homeworld.

Kazuichi Soda (DanganRonpa): Post-SDR2, no DR3. Xehanort requested Izuru Kamukura be used as a vessel, and Kazuichi went in Izuru/Hajime’s place so his buddy didn’t have to. But the first chance he got, Kazuichi turned and ran from the Castle That Never Was…where Sora had just crash-landed. Kazuichi patched up Sora’s ship, and immediately became part of his crew. (Worth noting: in this AU, the Remnants of Despair were never brainwashed and were completely aware of what they were doing. Kazuichi is basically a redemption story, trying to be a better person to make up for the hell he caused. Also, while on the Despair side, he’d hacked off his leg to sew Junko’s in its place, disabling himself – that leg goes through an arc regarding what prosthesis is in its place.)

Rapunzel (Tangled): After the Vardaros arc of S2 of Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure. Rapunzel was targeted by the WHAM ARMY because she was essentially a living MacGuffin for one of their spells. Sora showed up, and Rapunzel decided to go along with him for safety AND fun, leaving Cassandra to continue the pilgrimage to the Dark Kingdom. (Wrote this before KHIII was out. And before the Evil Cass twist.)

 And just like the WHAM ARMY, these folks have a huge B-squad that lives in the Radiant Garden castle and helps them deal with the various tragedies they have to clean up after. Riku, Kairi, and Jaune Arc in particular get a decent amount of stage time.

 As you can see, Maleficent (Sleeping Beauty/Kingdom Hearts) and her forces are another big set of chess pieces on the board! After she sent Mozenrath to gay baby jail and it didn’t stick, she’s been trying to continue plans for domination as usual but ALSO wipe the WHAM ARMY off the face of the multiverse. She, Jafar (Aladdin), Ursula (The Little Mermaid), and Hades (Hercules) all came straight here from KH. But I’m working to model that team’s inner circle on the team in “Quite a Glittering Assemblage,” the sister fic by gavillain (it’s basically this premise but Maleficent gets a team to start instead, but similarities end there, his is a whole different, fresh, and fun flavor). I’ve just gotten all these characters intro’d instory, but the other biggies are Loki (Marvel – I based him in the Cinematic Universe but he’s kind of just an amalgamation of Lokis), Dr. Doom (Marvel), Captain Hook (Once Upon a Time), Russell Edgington (True Blood), and Fish Mooney (Gotham). Currently, they operate out of the Forbidden Mountain in the Enchanted Dominion.

 There’s also a very new addition as of the 140’s chapters: the Heathens. This is a squad of villains with moral lines in the sand (and some antiheroes or corrupted heroes). Basically, these aren’t your killers for fun. These are the people who steal candy from the gas station and think they’re slick, but the point is they’re enjoying themselves so just let it happen. The four founders of this one are Harley Quinn (DC – based on The Batman but an amalgamation of Harleys that leans sympathetic), Yang Xiao Long (RWBY), Giovanni Potage (Epithet Erased), and Velvet Crowe (Tales of Berseria). Currently, they operate out of the old mansion in Twilight Town.

 The Xehanorts are here, and that team is largely who you think it is – though I stripped away Vexen, Demyx, Marluxia, Larxene, and Luxord in order to replace them ALL with Xaldin. More crossover shenanigans to come on this front. This team isn’t very active – they’re waiting for the Keyblade War – but they’re operating out of the World That Never Was.

 There’s also another side villain faction: the Morbians, led by Mirage (Aladdin: The Animated Series). These are the demons of fear, the stuff that lurks in your nightmares, and…the villains I really like but who I don’t quite think fit in with the WHAM ARMY or any other more prominent group. But to give you an idea of what the flavor of this team is, she’s recruited not one but TWO Boogeymen – Pitch Black (Rise of the Guardians) and Oogie Boogie (The Nightmare Before Christmas).

 There will be more villain factions to come, and I kind of want to splinter the Cinnamons to multiple bases as well. Obviously it’s easier to split villains up because they’re fun to write at war with each other – when I have hero teams come up against each other, usually they end up becoming best buddies instead of fighting, and that’s how I like it, but that’s why there’s just ONE BIG HERO TEAM as opposed to the many villain squads rattling around.

 THE SETTING

 So as you have probably gleaned, the multiverse setup is largely based on Kingdom Hearts, which is one of my favorite things (in the KH1 through Fragmentary Passage era anyway). There are many worlds that can be visited either by Gummi Ship or Corridor of Darkness. Basically any evil-aligned sorcerer can use Corridors in this ‘verse – they’ve opened their souls to Darkness and have magic, so they can do so.

 The implication is that every world represents a separate “story” or part of one. As in if it’s a work of fiction HERE, it’s a world THERE. Some characters are actually savvy enough to know they’re fictional (e.g. Megavolt from Darkwing Duck, Xayide from The Neverending Story). Most of them aren’t built to handle the news, though, and just shrug it off if told. (No, really, the cosmic order prevents them from taking that news seriously if they’re not from something that regularly leans on the fourth wall anyway.)

 But sometimes, things get AU’d in without their full worlds. I was inspired by how Final Fantasy is treated in canon KH, and once I started bringing in more FF stuff by the same method, I felt motivated to do that with MORE fandoms if I felt the characters could be divorced from their settings and histories easily. I’ve done it for most Disney Channel non-animated properties as well as Satellite City (ain’t that the worst combo you’ve ever looked at). I’m planning to do it for Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn because I’m coming up on a location I want to delve into the civilization of but don’t have many canon characters for, so guess what, you get the FE cast now.

 Major worlds or relevant locations in play are the Cyclonian warship, Radiant Garden, Twilight Town, and occasionally the Enchanted Dominion, but we move from plotline to plotline with journeys to many, many, MANY worlds of things I want to play with the settings and casts of. Also, the Cyclonian warship is about to get replaced with another WHAM ARMY base; we’ll get there.

 THE STORY

 For the first major “book” of TBTC, the WHAM ARMY has found a spell that they think will let them conquer the entire multiverse by giving them control over Kingdom Hearts itself. All they have do to is collect a bunch of MacGuffins that correspond to twelve elements: fire, water, earth, air, light, darkness, life, death, time, space, entropy, and aether. In order to do this, they visit the worlds of KH, RWBY, Avatar, Storm Hawks, Okami, Undertale, Wakfu, The Legend of Zelda, The Neverending Story, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, and many many more. The Cinnamons catch wind of what they’re doing and start assembling. Meanwhile Maleficent is on the hunt for the Book of Prophecies and starts hiring villains on her team as well. After many madcap adventures and some devastating tragedies near endgame, the Cinnamons accidentally put the Book of Prophecies in Maleficent’s hands at the same time that Maleficent finally captures Mozenrath and gets him under heel. The WHAM ARMY and Cinnamons both launch attacks on Maleficent’s forces, and each walks away with what they came for. This is also the part where we slowburn up to the four major WHAM ARMY ships and many Cinnamon ships. In the end, the WHAM ARMY actually gets all the ingredients for their spell, but what they don’t know is it will actually cause the DESTRUCTION of the worlds. So an outside force intervenes (Discord from MLPFIM, who later joins the WHAM ARMY because he wants friends who actually appreciate him as a villain and won’t make him change) to stop them, and the next thing they know, they’re starting from square one.

 We’re now in the second “book” of this story. The Cinnamons are gathering up all lost friends – the rest of Team RWBY, the Gaang, the Storm Hawks (who did in fact survive the explosion), the lost KH characters. The WHAM ARMY, on the other hand, is gathering up more villains to bolster their forces for a new evil plan: to conquer the worlds one by one, starting with Atlantis (Disney’s Atlantis: The Lost Empire) and using portals to link to other territories of interest. While the WHAM ARMY is essentially working through a to-do list of what they need before they can launch such a massive invasion, the Cinnamons are finding strength in numbers because the writing’s on the wall that between Mozenrath, Maleficent, Mirage, and Xehanort, things are going to get worse before they get better, and as evil builds, good will need to rise to protect the innocent. As for Maleficent, she’s no longer able to chase the Book of Prophecies, and so, because she’s got Hades, Loki, and Salem (RWBY) there and they’re all like “Even though we’re pretty godlike, we are not that happy with how the gods we knew have run things,” Maleficent’s new goal is to slaughter the gods of all pantheons (minus those in her care) and replace them with her allies.

 Anyway, as I had said in the post you saw, Anon – I basically take everything fictional I love and shove it into this AU for daydreams because it lets me imagine my faves having CROSSOVER INTERACTIONS and doing cool epic stuff on a multi-world scale. (But as much as I’ve talked up the epic aspect, a lot of it is just…like…people fucking around and hosting karaoke nights.) Anyway, I hope this gave you a good sense of the madness, and I hope it serves as a reminder to everyone that they can and should just. Make a daydream and/or fanfic universe that’s indulgent as hell. Just do it.

[featuringthecreature]

The Best and Worst Things About Each MCU Movie

These are all just my stinky opinions. You are allowed to disagree, you are allowed to agree. Most of these are jokes anyway. I’m honestly just happy you’re reading this. Minor Spoilers Ahead!

Iron Man (2008) -

Best: This movie almost perfectly sets the tone for the entire universe that has at that point yet to have been created. Looking back, you can imagine the feeling of “Where are they going to go from here?” and I think that’s one of the most important things that this movie needed to accomplish.

Worst: What the fuck is Jeff Bridges doing? What’s his endgame here? I get he’s trying to take over Stark Industries but how’s he gonna do that from inside that giant metal suit he uses to kill people inside their cars?

Incredible Hulk (2008) -

Best: Tim Roth is in it and I think that is pretty cool.

Worst: I haven’t actually seen it, but the cgi looks god awful, what the hell.

Iron Man 2 (2010) - 

Best: Sam Rockwell is so goddamn annoying in this movie and I think that’s amazing, he’s such a little stinker.

Worst: I remember basically nothing else about this movie except some guy talking about birds, idk.

Thor (2011) -

Best: It introduces Loki, probably one of the most beloved villains in the entire franchise. 

Worst: This movie is so goddamn boring and it’s my least favorite and I hate it. Don’t @ me.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) -

Best: The first good chunk of this movie is actually a really compelling character study on Steve Rogers and what makes him a good man. Seeing him basically being paraded as this propaganda figure and watching him struggle with this is one of the most compelling things about him as a person. Really wish they kept this up for the entire movie.

Worst: The red skull is really boring guys. He’s red, that’s it. Give me something else to work with man.

Marvel’s The Avengers (2012) -

Best: This movie proved that you can have a superhero team up with this many people and have it fucking work. It doesn’t matter if you hate or love this movie, you cannot deny the effects it has on the genre.

Worst: It’s shot like a bad CW show. It looks so ugly.

Iron Man 3 (2013)

Best: This one is actually my favorite of the bunch. Exploring the question of what makes Iron Man, the suit or the person, is shown really well here. I thoroughly dig it.

Worst: That scene where Harley flip flops about whether or not he really knows Tony makes me so irrationally angry.

Thor: The Dark World (2013)

Best: It’s slightly better than Thor, and I actually can feel myself start to have a good time whenever Loki’s on screen.

Worst: Once again, this movie is insanely forgettable. Christopher fucking Eccleston is in this movie and I could not tell you a single thing about this character.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) - 

Best: This movie has one of the best hand-to-hand fight scenes in the entire MCU. You know the one I’m talking about. It gives me chills, I love it.

Worst: Having the government stand-in that Steve questions in the beginning of the movie actually be a front for N*zis that he can just beat up, and not an actual metaphor for the issues with the government today? You ain’t slick.

Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 1 (2014) -

Best: This is the mcu movie basically anyone can enjoy. Anybody can watch this movie and find something to love about it. The characters, the messages about family and learning to be okay with feeling love, the jokes, hell, even the space setting. THE MUSIC. It’s the full package baby.

Worst: Chris Pratt has an unfortunate cameo in this one.

Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015) -

Best: I have a couple of things. A) The party scene where we get to watch the Avengers talk and be friends with each other and act like people. B) I love James Spader no matter what he is doing.

Worst: Why is everyone quipping? Why is the robot quipping? Why would they massacre my boy like that?

Ant-man (2015) -

Best: I want Paul Rudd to marry me, best dad in the mcu.

Worst: The moment Edgar Wright left this project.

Captain America: Civil War (2016) -

Best: Introduces two great characters, Spider-man and Black Panther. These two get a lot of love when it comes to designing their characters in this movie and it makes me very happy.

Worst: It made the fandom very unhappy and I don’t like picking sides. It feels like watching your many parents get divorced for two hours.

Doctor Strange (2016) -

Best: The magic looks really fucking cool in this movie. Also, the ending with Dormammu is up there for one of my favorite endings of an mcu movie. Having Doctor Strange actually outsmart the villain instead of actually fighting him is endlessly more satisfying.

Worst: Could not tell you a thing else about this movie other than I heard Tilda Swinton plays a character that’s probably not supposed to be white.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) -

Best: Guys, I gotta come clean about something. I actually like this one better than Volume 1. I know, I know, a good majority of people do not feel this way, but I feel a lot more emotionally attached to the movie, and that’s mainly because of two characters: Yondu Udonta and Rocket Racoon. Rocket realizing that he’s an asshole but his found family still loves him gets me, man. I can’t help it. Helps that Ego is a great villain as well. Also the cinematography is some of the best in the mcu.

Worst:  No Howard the Duck.

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) -

Best: I think the best thing about this movie is just the solidness of it all. No one part stands out as the best because most everything about this movie is pretty damn good. Michael Keaton will knock your socks off, go watch it.

Worst: Donald Glover is in it to tease a Miles Morales reveal, BUT NOTHING HAS HAPPENED ABOUT IT SINCE.

Thor: Ragnarok (2017) -

Best: Taika Waititi knows how to do shit right, lemme tell ya. Taking away Thor’s hammer from the beginning was probably one of the smartest choices in the movie, and this is a movie of smart choices.

Worst: Jeff Goldblum isn’t in it more.

Black Panther (2018) -

Best: Erik Killmonger is easily the best villain in a Marvel movie, and you can quote me on that. An amazing performance from Michael B. Jordan. It’s also the first Marvel movie I saw in theatres (I know, I was very late to the game)

Worst: Everett K. Ross is CIA propaganda and the last fight scene on the train tracks looks like shit.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018) - 

Best: It’s really hard to sum up exactly what my thoughts are on this movie. I think one of the movie’s best qualities is the bigness of it. This movie feels huge, there’s a lot of different stuff to love here. If you like Wakanda, there’s a whole epic battle set in Wakanda. If you’re more a fan of the space stuff, we got a whole lotta space stuff. The best part of this movie is there’s probably gonna be something that everyone can enjoy packed in here.

Worst: I also think the bigness of this movie is also one of it’s larger weaknesses. Because there’s so much stuff in this movie, not all of it is fully fleshed out. Tony Stark gets a lot to do in this movie, but Steve Rogers sort of feels sidelined at parts. There’s a perfect balance that I don’t think was quite hit.

Ant-man and The Wasp (2018) -

Best: I still really love Paul Rudd in this movie, and I think his relationship with Cassie is still really cute. World’s Greatest Grandma indeed.

Worst: This movie really had its work cut out for itself, coming off the heels of Infinity War, so it sort of falls short in that respect. I don’t want to criticize it too harshly, it is what it is, nothing insanely memorable. 

Captain Marvel (2019) - 

Best: I still think this is a pretty good movie, despite what a lot of people think. I struggle a lot with believing that I have to prove myself to others, so having Carol finally realize that she doesn’t have anything to prove to anyone was really important to me, and probably a lot of other women.

Worst: There were parts where I wasn’t as engaged, like the scenes in the Kree empire. That made some of the movie feel off to me, it’s a bit unbalanced.

Avengers: Endgame (2019) - 

Best: This movie 100% achieves what it sets out to do, and that is to be a huge cinematic event. I don’t even really see this movie as a movie, it’s more like one huge experience. My viewing had one of the most energetic crowds I’ve ever seen a movie with.

Worst: I don’t really think this movie holds up to multiple re-watches. Granted, I saw it in theatres three times. I don’t think any subsequent viewings are ever going to pack that same punch that my first viewing had, and that makes it harder to come back to. Also Steve had a totally lame ending.

Spider-man: Far From Home (2019) - 

Best: After ending on such a downer note in the last movie, this felt like a weight being lifted off my chest. Jake Gyllenhaal gives an insanely energetic performance that I absolutely adore. (Also seeing it with my dad was fun, he would nudge me every time they switched locations to tell me he’d been there)(Also when I saw it with my sibling a kid ran out of the theatre during the Mysterio mind-fuck sequence, some just can’t handle that lifestyle)

Worst: Peter Parker and MJ remind me of how perpetually single I am.

[santiagoswagger]

i've never fallen from quite this high

Amy's birthday falls one month into her very new relationship with Jake, and he promises her he has plans to blow her mind.

Set sometime after “The Funeral.”

In all the years Amy’s known Jake, she’s been witness to the downfall of most of his relationships, and she knows they all tend to follow a similar pattern.

He was disorganized and completely consumed by his work throughout most of them, perpetually forgetting to show up for dinners or drinks because a case always took precedence. He could be selfish, unfiltered with his words and competitive to a fault. Most of the women he dated never seemed to last very long, and if they did, Jake usually found a reason to end things. There were a few exceptions, just as there are with any rule, but Jake was nothing if not consistent. He was a lone wolf, even in his personal life.

But the Jake Peralta that Amy finds herself dating now might as well be a stranger.

In the month since they decided to screw being light and breezy, she’s observed several small changes in him that often have her questioning if he’s the same man who once took her on a date designed for maximum humiliation.

When they make plans, he immediately adds them to the calendar on his phone so he won’t forget. He shares his snacks with her at the movies, even if he rolls his eyes while passing her the popcorn bucket. He takes the time to compliment her whether she’s dressed up for a date night out or wearing her ratty sweats on the couch at home, and genuinely means it either way. He’s still overly competitive, but that only makes her like him more.

She catches herself staring at him from across their adjoined desks, in awe of the person he was and the person he’s becoming. She can’t believe she’s actually falling for her goofy, infuriating partner. It’s scary, just as any big change is for a control freak like Amy, but she’s starting to believe that anything worthwhile begins with a little fear.

Much to Amy’s chagrin, Jake catches her mid-stare and smirks.

“Amy, I know you think I look extremely handsome in my new flannel, but this is a workplace. What would the Captain say?” he asks smugly, keeping his voice quiet enough so their coworkers can’t overhear. It’s something they’ve both perfected over the last month.

She rolls her eyes but can’t stop a traitorous grin from materializing on her face.

“Jake, we both know you took that flannel from the lost and found last week. And I wasn’t doing anything,” she says unconvincingly, burying her head in the open file next to her keyboard. “I was thinking. About my case. Because I’m a detective.”

Jake leans back in his chair and crosses his arms behind his head. “Does this ‘thinking’ have anything to do with a major life event happening this weekend?”

Amy cocks her head to the side. “’Major life event?’ What are you talking about?”

Jake lets out a loud, triumphant laugh, startling Hitchcock and Scully from their afternoon naps a few feet away.

“Amy, please tell me you didn’t forget your own birthday. No, wait, please tell me you did so I can make fun of you.”

Her jaw drops in horror. Amy Santiago, queen of organization, forgot her own birthday. Work had been so crazy the last few weeks and nights spent analyzing her planner were few and far between now that she had someone to go home with after work so something was bound to fall through the cracks. But she would rather let Charles cook dinner for her than let Jake know that.

“Shut up,” she says indignantly. “Just because I don’t obsess over my birthday like some people doesn’t mean I forgot it.”

Jake leans forward with a softer smile than before. It’s fond, almost. “You did, but that’s okay. I’ve got a few things up my sleeve for Saturday.”

“You do?” she says, surprised.

“Mmm-hmm,” he nods, grinning. “Prepare to have your mind blown.”

She laughs. “Okay, I’ll hold you to it.”

As they pack up their desks to leave for the night, Amy allows herself to wonder what Jake could possibly have planned. It’s their first birthday or holiday as a couple, and it’s so early. Their relationship is still so new and exciting, but a birthday is a big commitment. They haven’t even discussed where they see things going or if there’s a future for them. She doesn’t want this birthday to be the thing that scares him away before the relationship really gets off the ground. She’s pretty sure it could be something great if they let it.

Amy wakes up Saturday morning to the smell of fresh coffee wafting into her bedroom. It’s a shock for two reasons: she’s fairly certain she ran out of coffee grounds earlier this week and she knew Jake was scheduled to work an overtime shift today. The rumpled sheets next to her confirm his absence, but they’re still slightly warm to the touch; he must have just brewed her a pot before stumbling out the door.

She takes the time to brush her hair and teeth, and wash and moisturize her face – she refuses to let her morning routine slip, even if it’s her birthday – before walking out into the kitchen. It’s where she finds a full pot of coffee, complete with a new bag of beans from her favorite neighborhood café. It’s annoyingly expensive hipster coffee, and she can’t believe Jake shelled out the cash for it.

She also finds a note written in Jake’s awful chicken scratch on some stationery he must have grabbed from her office. Lucky for him, Amy’s been forced to decipher a few hundred of his case files over the years and can read his appalling handwriting without a problem.

Ames,

Happy Birthday, weirdo! I’m sorry I have to work on the day of your birth but I promise to make it up to you later ;) See you at 5.

Jake

She smiles as she finishes reading before pouring herself a large cup of steaming coffee and taking a long sip. She sighs, and she’s fairly sure it’s not just the coffee warming her from the inside out.

Truthfully, a day to herself is the best birthday present she could have asked for. She spends the day fielding calls and texts from her family and Kylie while also managing to organize her binders alphabetically and catch up on her very full DVR.

But by the time 5 o’clock rolls around, Jake is nowhere to be found and Amy can’t help but be a little disheartened. He had been making much more of an effort to be punctual lately, especially once he discovered what that earned him from Amy, but she supposes he hasn’t completely let his old habits die. She does her best to shrug it off. He probably just got caught up finishing a case, she thinks.

By 5:30, Amy is concerned. By 6, she’s spiraling.

He’s never been this late to meet her before, and never this late without sending an emoji-filled apology text. She, more than most, knows things can get out of hand at the precinct within an instant, but a shadow of a doubt still manages to nestle its way into Amy’s brain as the minutes tick by without word from her boyfriend.

She pours herself a glass of wine and takes a huge gulp. She knows from past observations that a month is usually Jake’s tipping point in a relationship. It’s entirely possible that he’s starting to have second thoughts about turning their friendship into something more. The thought rips through her like lightning.

It’s then that her front door opens and an exhausted looking Jake practically stumbles into the living room carrying two stuffed takeaway bags. His hair is a mess and his flannel is even more rumpled than usual. Her previously racing thoughts are immediately quelled when she sees him.

“Ames, I’m so sorry but I couldn’t find the restaurant and then the order was wrong and then I had to go to a different place and it was a whole thing,” he says in a breathless jumble. She can barely make out individual words.

“Are you mad?” he asks as he catches his breath. He looks genuinely gutted at the mere possibility he’s disappointed her.

She puts her wine glass down on the coffee table and moves to wrap him up in a firm hug. She can feel the tension leave his body at her touch.

“No, I’m not mad,” she mumbles into his shoulder. “But I wish you had texted me so I knew you were alright.”

“Phone died,” he says sheepishly. She pulls away slightly and gently swats his arm.

“I thought I bought you a charger for your desk!”

“I may or may not have been playing Kwazy Cupcakes all day and it totally drained my battery,” he laughs. “The precinct was so boring today, Ames.”

She smirks. “Did you miss me, Peralta?”

“Pshh, no,” he says, eyes darting around the room.

“You did,” she says smugly and he rolls his eyes, visibly grinning. “Now, tell me about this food.”

She pulls away from him to rummage through the plastic bags he’d placed on her dining table when he came home. It smells unbelievably familiar.

“I, um,” he stutters. “Remember when you told me about your favorite birthday parties as a kid? When all of your extended family would come over and it was just a giant party with games and the best Cuban food?”

“Yeah, I do,” she says softly. It had been such a throwaway conversation, late night memories shared while cuddling on his couch in front of the TV after a long shift. She’s genuinely touched that it stayed with him.

“Well, I found a place in Park Slope that sells those cheesy guava pastries your mom used to make you every year on your birthday,” he says, rubbing his arm uncomfortably. “But they messed up the order and I had to drive around to a bunch of Cuban restaurants to find them. That’s why I was so late.”

Maybe it’s the nostalgic smell of the pasteles de queso y guayaba bringing back her childhood, or maybe it’s the look of pure vulnerability on Jake’s face, but Amy can feel the warmth from this morning’s coffee returning tenfold. A lump begins to grow in her throat and she swallows hard to tamp it down.

“I can’t believe you did this,” she says, astonished. “I haven’t had one of these in forever.”

He’s rubbing his arm again, a nervous tick. “I hope they’re right. The woman at the last place I tried didn’t speak English so it was a lot of charades and pointing.”

She laughs. “They’re definitely right. They smell just like I remember.”

She puts the bag down and walks quickly over to where he’s standing in her kitchen doorway. She kisses him delicately, bringing her hand up to cup his cheek, thumb sweeping his jaw as she pulls away. His eyes are half-mast but they’re shining brightly.

“Happy birthday, Amy,” he whispers, moving to gently grab her hand as it pulls away from his face.

She scrunches her nose and smiles. “Thank you. Now, are you ready to try some cheese and guava pastries?”

He wrinkles his nose. “Ugh, no, thank you,” he says vehemently, backing out of her embrace.

She walks closer. “Please? For my birthday? You did say you would make it up to me after working all day.”

He groans. “Fine. But this is the last time I do anything nice for you.”

She smiles. “Deal.”

[charliejrogers]

I’m Thinking of Ending Things (Or, What Many Will Think About Midway Through This Movie)

You may be expecting a long review for this movie. I mean, let’s be honest, I dissected the shit out of Birds of Prey, to the point that it was almost inappropriate for the kind of movie it was. But this movie? The arthouse classic-to-be from the much-revered Charlie Kaufman (both writer and director here), I’m Thinking of Ending Things? A movie filled to the brim with symbolism and which refuses to commut itself to any one point of view or plane or reality? This guy’s gonna write about it for fucking eternity.

Well, no. It won’t be the case. Why? Because I don’t think I really got it. Sure, I could try to wax poetic about my thoughts on aging, time, whether there’s meaning in relationships, meaning to our lives (all themes the film raises and which serve as its central core) But it would just kinda sound bullshit coming from me.

So, yeah, this isn’t much of a plot movie. It starts with a young woman (Jessie Buckley) waiting in the street of a snowy quiet country town’s downtown for her boyfriend, Jake, (Jesse Plemons) of one month (or longer?) so that the two can join Jake’s parents for dinner. Despite taking this proverbial big step in her relationship, she’s wondering (evoking the film’s title) whether she should end things. Or is that really what the title is about. Like everything in this movie, every piece of dialogue every character, every suggestion of a chronology, things are laden with a second meaning. Part of your enjoyment from the film will derive from whether or not you enjoy being strung along for 135 minutes without ever really understanding what’s going on, what’s really being said, who these characters really are, or when/where the hell are we in the world?

Despite those tantalizing and exciting questions, I’m here to warn you now, nothing big or exciting happens in this film, at least by conventional movie standards. We watch the couple drive to the Jake’s parents’ house and that takes about 25 minutes of film time. We’re in the house with his parents for probably about 45 minutes. Then the drive home takes another 20-25 minutes. The scenes about driving are just that: two people in a car talking to one another without much event. It’s like the car ride scenes from your favorite buddy/road trip movie but with all the fun adventures taken out. Instead what we get are long, confusing conversations more akin to Matthew McConaughey’s time spent in a car on True Detective.

But one thing becomes exceedingly clear when we finally get to Jake’s parents’ house: the film’s banal settings (a country road, a farmhouse, a rural high school) belie a truth about the film. It is not set in our reality. Jake and the woman’s conversation on the car ride is full of reflections on the nature of time, aging, depression, and life. Jake is a slightly insufferable intellectual. He’s the kind of guy who says he doesn’t know a whole lot about musical theater and then proceed to list 15-20 musicals of various fame and obscurity. The whole scene feels as quirky and just-shy of overwritten, i.e. par for the course of a pretentious art house film such as this. But the mannerisms of Jake’s parents are more than can be attributed to a quirky film. His mother is a jealous, possessive neurotic played by Toni Collette in a way only she could and a twitchy, and his father is a lecherous rival obsessed with his girlfriend played by David Thewlis (a favorite actor of mine). And throughout the meal, the confident, know-it-all we knew from the drive regresses into the behavior of a weak, embarrassed child. These are caricatures taken word from word from a textbook on Freudian psychology more than they are believable humans. The film admits and confirms the Freudian aping rather explicitly.

But just when you think you understand what the film’s up to, it switches course. After dinner, the woman starts to explore their house and starts a journey through time (but, again, with none of the excitement that sentence would normally imply.) It’s my second favorite sequence in the film (the first being an interpretive dance that occurs towards the film’s end… yes, it’s THAT kind of film). It’s filmed and framed in the trappings of a horror movie, but there’s no jump scares or horrible truth to be found. It’s how I imagine someone would adapt the tone of the superb video game Gone Home (yes, I’m one of THOSE people). But yeah, there’s no horrible truth… except if you consider the inevitability of human decay and disease to be a terrible truth. Every room the woman stumbles upon finds Jake’s parents appear to be a different age and health than when she first got to the house, ranging from a mother decked out in 50s/60s apparel to old, feeble gentleman. From there the movie continues to refuse to stay in one place and becomes odder and odder. It’s then I realized to think of this movie of a totally abstract piece of art, like the dream sequences of The Sopranos or Buffy.

So what do I think is going on? Obviously spoilers for here on out. Despite getting the majority of the screen time, this is NOT a movie about the young woman. At the very beginning of the film we are introduced, briefly, to an older, portly gentleman in his late 70s, looking out a window. The film cuts back to that exact same room and window 30 seconds later, but in the old man’s place is Jesse Plemons’ Jake. From that I take it to mean the two are the same person, with Plemons representing the older Jake younger self (or imagined younger self). Alongside the main plot, we occasionally get images and short scenes of the older Jake, a janitor at a rural high school who lives alone. The intellect (or perhaps false sense of intellect) of his younger self is clearly not meeting its potential. He is mocked by students for his age and fragility. What I think we’re watching is this older Jake trying to make sense of what it means to be old and who is currently on the verge of suicide unable to see its meaning. Although I compared the film to a dream sequence, I don’t think it’s fair to reduce the whole thing to Jake’s dream. More I feel like we are seeing a manifestation of Jake’s subconscious thoughts on screen play out.

Who is the young woman then? I’m not sure. I doubt she represents any actual woman – she’s given a variety of names. She almost plays the part of our (and his) guide into Jake’s subconscious like Virgil to Dante, but she’s more than a void. I think she represents what Jake would want in a woman in his life, a confident woman who can see through Jake’s faults (but notably sees them and sees them clearly). She’s not overtly sexual like the women at the ice cream who clearly make Jake uncomfortable. But yet, it’s telling that even in his deepest, most private thoughts that I think we’re seeing, he cannot imagine that even his ideal woman would want to be with him.

We get lots of reasons for why Jake thinks things are like this. Clearly he holds resentment for his parents, even if he feels like it’s cliché to do so. But time is his true nemesis. For me the most telling scenes for my understanding of the movie comes at the end with the interpretive dance, which shows Jake and the young woman (or, at least, stand-ins for those two) engage in a beautiful display of courtship, love, and marriage, only for the young Jake stand-in to be violently by a representation of the older janitor Jake. Clearly Jake thinks of his current self as something wholly distinct from his younger self, and that the creature he is now, a creature created by time, has destroyed who he once was. Like many of us (or as many of us think), he peaked in high school, the last place where people gave him awards for being who he is. This detail adds a sadness to the fact that he works as a janitor at one now. And it is notable that the film’s journey ends there, at a high school, where inexplicably he is being awarded a lifetime achievement award. Achievement in what? It’s unclear. What is clear that the person receiving the award is not the janitor Jake, but the younger Jake (Jesse Plemons) with old-age make-up on. With his dying breath he is able to see the self he loves, his younger self, grow up and live the life he wanted. There’s no sense at all of his present circumstances or person. Then we cut to a shot of janitor Jake’s truck buried in snow, presumably (on my interpretation) with janitor Jake frozen inside, dead.

So ultimately whether or not you like this movie depends on your tolerance for head-up-its-butt dialogue about the grand questions of life combined with its purposefully obtuse presentation. As one of the biggest douchebags I know, I liked it, but didn’t fall head over heels for it. The only other associated Kaufmann production I’ve seen is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, but from what I understand, this movie is Kaufmann at its Kaufmann-iest. I have a great respect for the planning and thought behind every second of the film and I can honestly say I was never not entertained. I loved the film’s mood and atmosphere and that I was always on my toes. It’s a movie that truly has gotten better as I’ve continued to think about it over the last three days. But still, I don’t think I always understood what was going on and it’s a little too obtuse/abstract for it to be an all-time classic. I respect that for some people this may be their favorite movie of all time, and for others it may be a crock of shit. I’m somewhere in the middle, and cautiously recommend this film to those of you who are open to some abstract art in film. If you are, definitely try it out, you won’t forget it. If you are not open to it, skip it; you will have no qualms about endings things early.

***1/4 (Three and one-fourth stars out of four)

[dying-suffering-french-stalkers]

Talk to me about Star Wars!! When did you get into it, favorite movies/tv shows, do you play the games, anything you wanna talk about! I love Star Wars, the prequels are my jam and it’s cool that you’re into it as well - 🎄✨SS✨🎄

I’m gonna go ahead and tag @ange-de-la-musique since the package with the reveal came before I had time to answer this :)  I’m also putting this under a Read More because (to absolutely no one’s surprise) this got VERY LONG.

I first saw Star Wars (specifically, the original trilogy and The Phantom Menace) when I was about 7 or 8.  The Empire Strikes Back has always been my favorite because I’m basic and because as a kid I was OBSESSED with the snow walkers in the first battle sequence.  I also have a vivid memory of telling a classmate that I thought Jar Jar Binks was funny, so...there’s that :P

I rewatched the original trilogy a number of times as a kid, but I didn’t really pay that much attention or get into it until TFA was announced.  Like a lot of others, I got caught up in the cultural zeitgeist, but I also got into a personal rabbit hole surrounding both the filmmaking and the narrative background of the original trilogy.  It started me down a path that (with a number of other things) finally led to me getting more into classic film (particularly Lawrence of Arabia, and ohhhh boy if you’d been here earlier, you’d know just how into it I got!  I own a truly comical number of books on T.E. Lawrence himself, but that’s veering too far from the original question.  I also read Dune somewhere in there bc it’s the perfect bridge between LoA and SW, and also fun and iconic and all that.)  I also became a huge fan of Ralph McQuarrie’s artwork, so you can imagine how pleased I was to see Rebels use his style to its fullest potential!

I also read a number of now-Legends books between 2015 and 2017, mostly Timothy Zahn’s.  I thoroughly enjoyed his Thrawn trilogy and Hand of Thrawn duology (Mara Jade is everything I never knew I needed and I found I loved her relationship with Luke.  Also the audiobooks are DAMN GOOD).  Other Legends books I enjoyed were Zahn’s Outbound Flight and Choices of One and John Jackson Miller’s Kenobi.  (I read a TON of fic in here too, including the Son of Suns trilogy, which is brutal but brilliant.)  I also read some New EU books, including Ahsoka, Lost Stars, Bloodline, Thrawn (I never did read the rest of the new series), Catalyst, Guardians of the Whills, the beginning of the new Star Wars comic, some of the Darth Vader comic, the first issue of the Kanan comic, and more, but my favorite was BY FAR the Rebels prequel (and first New EU book) A New Dawn (John Jackson Miller and the incredible SW audiobook team strike again!).  I remember being so utterly blown away by how atmospheric it was...and by how much pre-Rebels Kanan is my fictional type, HOO BOY.  It was so impressive to me that something inherently non-visual nevertheless managed to capture Ralph McQuarrie’s style so well.

As you can probably gather from that, I LOVED the major animated series.  While I definitely remember seeing trailers and other material for the 2007 Clone Wars movie and subsequent series, I never watched it until it came on Netflix years later.  The Clone Wars, for all its inter-arc tonal issues, is now one of my favorite animated series of all time.  When it’s good, it’s REAL GOOD, you feel?  It, along with Stover’s RotS novelization, retroactively boosted my appreciation for the prequels and for Anakin specifically (ilu Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christensen I’m sorry I doubted you as a kid).  There’s so much good material to dig into in the prequel era and I’m so glad that I and others have come around to it.  Ahsoka and the clones live in my head rent-free.  I also found Rebels fairly enjoyable, especially after season one.  Like with TCW, the pacing/tonal consistency wasn’t always great, but a lot of good shines through in the end.  I loved seeing TCW (and Legends!) characters in there, of course, but my favorite Rebels-specific characters were Kanan, Hera, and Kallus (also I got really emotionally invested in Kallus/Zeb haha WH O O P  S).

I have never played a Star Wars game apart from my brother’s copy of Lego Star Wars for the Wii, but I hear there’s some good stuff out there!

I have...Many Thoughts about the sequel trilogy/Disney era, but this reply is already monstrously long and I think that’s gonna have to be a post for another time.  My favorite films from the new era are The Last Jedi and Rogue One.  I will say John Williams really went ham with the TFA soundtrack and it’s lowkey a Christmas album for me bc of how often I listened to it when it came out.

[tslasvegas]

Episode 8: “On the upside we got the numbers.” - Andrew (who is then voted out by those numbers)

It’s always a sad and unfortunate thing when a player needs to leave a game for personal reasons. I’m wishing Kevin all the best! 

Welp. I don't wanna say that this sucks, but this sucks. My closest ally walked from the game, and I hope he's ok. I really hope everything is ok with him. But now, I'm a green in a world of pinks. What my pink friends don't realize though, is I have a Safety Without Power advantage. Nobody knows about it. So if we lose, they cannibalize themselves, and that will be a sight to see. But I'd like to keep my advantage for as long as possible. But if we lose, that'll be a fun tribal council. I can only hope it's a double tribal. Now this - this is a redemption arc.

If a merge at 13 is next, then we are done! ugh. 

MERGE HAPPENS

We merged!! And I only had to attend a single tribal council in the premerge with 8 eliminations. That’s wild! We’re sitting here in merge with 7 OG Palazzo, 3 OG Bellagio and 3 OG Luxor. If Palazzo sticks together, we’d have the majority whichever way you look at it. However, I don’t imagine that group is going to stick together very long. Joey wants to get myself and Jaiden into single digits. I’d love to help get Jake into single digits as well. And I’d also like to get Livingston to at least 6th place. Honestly a group of that 5 sounds like a pretty good idea, and I might pitch it to Joey later today. And now we’re doing mastermind! A game I love but rarely ever win. I usually come close and I’m hoping this time around I can snag a win and be safe this first tribal. Nothing is scarier than the merge round of the game. Anything at all can happen. There’s still some idols and extra votes floating around, maybe some steal a votes too. There’s also that safety without power and the legacy advantage, which may be able to be played this round? Exciting things are brewing im sure. 

We made the merge!!

So OG Palazzo must be tight. Good thing Steph and Joey are still reaching out. But I don't know if we can build up a resistance with the non-OGPalazzo. I mean, in theory, it can happen. 6 of us, with a steal a vote. But so much has happened voting on opposite sides, I don't know if it is doable. We can try. Better to go out blazing at 13th, than just waiting for your turn to be voted out before F7.

I MADE IT TO MERGE AGAIN... okay I feel good about my surroundings, as well as the people I’m next to. OG Palazzo wants to go all the way to Final 7, but I know that ain’t gonna happen, cause I’m turning on them as fast as humanly possible. I need others to see that I’m a strengthener to their games, and now that its every player for themselves, I think I can grab some allies and make shit happen. I have a Legacy Advantage, and I’m just trying to get to 6.

I’m sad I lost all my chips. On the upside we got the numbers

MERGE BITCH

Ok but for serious I don't have much to say so I'm just going to do an assessment of everyone on the tribe. Andrew - I thought I was gonna like Andrew bc I thought he was c*te then I find out he likes The Sims so there was something easy for us to talk about!! But then... come to find out. He's not really interested in talking I guess. So I'm just going to leave him alone and not carry on a conversation. Ben - WHY is Ben still here. I'm so annoyed. Ben tries so hard to be my ally but I don't trust him that much. Before the merge, he pitched a plan to pool our coins (meaning: I had to send him all of mine) so that I could spin the wheel and avoid going bankrupt. Then he said we're a final two. I was like,,, no thanks. I feel like he's going to blow up his game at some point, but I just gotta pretend better to be on his side. Idk how to do that exactly... Jake - Jake has been THE biggest surprise of the merge to be honest. I actually really like Jake. He's a little "irritating" I guess, but more in the sense that he is just pretty bro-y and that's not my energy. I respect Jake's desire to be great in Tumblr Survivor, we have that in common here. I think right now, Jake and I are as close as you can get to working together without actually being a legitimate alliance. I want to see where this takes us because he's a cool guy and I really feel bad for talking shit about him before the merge. Jeff - Part of me likes Jeff, but part of me views him as the enemy simply because he's part of the "Palazzo 7". I want to try and work on Jeff because maybe he and I see things the same way? I don't think this game is strictly "seven strong" like Joey perpetuates, I'll get to that in a minute though. Anyways, I want to see how things go with Jeff cuz he seems like a cool dude and I'm definitely a meninist and want to be his bitch! Joey - I hate that I'm in a position where I both know Joey is vital for my game right now, but also that I can't stand his strategy. I like him as a person, let's make that very clear for the post-season - I just don't subscribe to his idea that there's a seven person alliance (which btw includes him according to numbers???) running the show. I will definitely feel Joey out some more before I make any decision to attach myself to him fully or throw him to the wolves. John - THREAT. I'm on high alert for John and kinda trying to maintain a safe, social-distancing-approved level of space between us. I think that John is definitely running things at least in one or two circles and I don't want him to turn that target around on me. I also can't let him know that I'm onto him. John is probably playing it where everybody just likes him and includes him in plans, but in the event that he is pulling strings, that's where the issues start. Kailyn - I don't really care for Kailyn anymore tbh. I kinda think Kailyn is playing a good under the radar game and I think it's in a lot of people's benefit to send her off to the jury sooner rather than later. I have no read on who she's close with though so that's the danger. Probably John? But who knows. Keegan - I also am surprised that I like Keegan as much as I do. He seemed a little bit too smart for his own good? But he's actually rather nice. He flops like I do but I think he's a danger if I'm not careful. I'll keep on this guy and hopefully he doesn't target me <3 I'd rather work with Keegan than against him especially now. 

Livingston - WOW I thought I'd like Livingston but goddamn this guy is BORING. Not only does he not message back, but he has nothing interesting to provide to a conversation. If he was the first person to go this round I wouldn't really be upset oop Pat - We talked a lot about drag race. We played an org together and I remember now that Pat was fucking IRRELEVANT so I'm surprised to see this new energy. Who are you and what did you do with the real Pat? Stephanie - I don't really like Stephanie's strategy either, she's just too damn likable and kind of floats on by, I wish she had left last time instead of Rachael because then it's likely Rachael gets the boot soon. But we'll see what happens. I just hope that me voting for her isn't going to kill our relationship and we can work together at some point, at least until she gets voted out. Xavier - I have a hard time reading Xavier. I think I'm calmed down from feeling threatened by him. I trust Xavier enough to not go and screw up a vote again, but does he trust me? Don't really know. I want to work with Xavier at least for a couple votes but I know that he and Ben aren't on good terms and Ben is a vote that I need right now :/ The issue I have with Xavier is that he is positioning himself to kinda be a doormat just doing whatever people want and not necessarily.. taking control of how people look at him I guess. He sticks out for being the "dad" on the tribe and doesn't bring a lot of his own personality to conversation - it's just really basic strategy. I don't know anything about him that I didn't have to go fucking find out about him on his public YouTube. Insert clown emoji here. Anyways, overall I feel okay about my chances on this tribe... So far. I honestly don't see myself playing a winning game right now - BUT it's final thirteen and there is a lot of time to turn that around for myself. I feel good in comparison to my previous Tumblr Survivor seasons because there hasn't been a vote where I've completely made myself stand out like a sore thumb. My head is in a good place to finish out this game strong, just gotta put the pedal to the metal and work shit out. Maybe win a couple challenges! Whatever twists are ahead... I'm not prepared. But I am going to walk away from this season for the better, one way or another. Eight people down, twelve left to go. 

Well, I came close to winning but unfortunately didn't. Kailyn won immunity and we had a twist where we all had to choose between two buttons. Aaaaand Kailyn now has immunity this tribal and next tribal. Lovely. After the challenge, Andrew immediately threw out Jake's name, which was worrying but I think Jeff and I have managed to sway things towards Ben. Which is a little scary, since it's highly possible he has an idol or advantage (though he did play an idol on himself at the Rachael boot. So maybe not?) Now, the question is going to become: how do Livingston and myself navigate these next few tribals with Jake? We need to keep him safe and the target off his back. There's also Joey and Jaiden who I definitely want to keep working with moving forward. I think I'm in a decent spot. I really don't see Jaiden or Jake keeping their mouth shut if my name comes up. I think I've managed to build enough of a bond with them that they won't target me. My concern is definitely Ben being a little sneak, as well as Kailyn and Xavier, who really don't talk at all. John... can also be kinda sneaky and he also has been super quiet. However, when all is said and done, I just want a single digit placement. I don't care what happens before/after that, just please let me get there. 

My first merge in 3 seasons of Tumblr Survivor, finally! It would be awesome if the tyrannical force of pink wasn’t here. Right now I’m practically a sitting duck. I’ve made connections with Jaiden and Joey who I just met, I’m hoping they’d watch my back. Ben and I are great friends from outside the game, we’re called the Jew-O Duo, for obvious reasons. I’m in a duo with Jeff called Jeff Squared, a duo with Pat called The Best Men, a trio with Liv and Keegan (that’s super dangerous cause I know they’re friends), and me John and Xavier are the Luxor Losers. I should feel protected - but I don’t. I need to keep working socially and hope that I can scoot by a couple more rounds. I wanna buddy up with Steph and Kailyn, I have no interest in working with Andrew after he flat out told me he wasn’t turning on Pink. It could be me tonight. We’ll just have to see.

....five seconds later

No. No no no no no no no. I'm sick of Andrew trying to get me out, and then going after my allies instead. I can't just sit here and let him walk all over me the entire game. He has been wishy washy and fake with me since I met him. I'm not gonna play a game of what ifs, I'm taking a gamble and gonna get his own tribe to flip on him. I've got enough information from Jeff, Pat, and Liv to spin into a lie. I know Andrew said my name - but Jeff and Keegan changed it to Ben, so if I tell Keegan that Andrew blamed him on my name coming up I think I can flip him. I can try to get John, Ben, and Xavier, Keegan can get Liv and Joey, that's 7. If it blows up in my face - Oh well. This is season 99! We're high rolling now.

Had a nice long conversation with Jake this morning. Andrew has been throwing my name under the bus for some reason? Well Andrew, better watch out because I’m driving that bus and swerving it at you. OG Palazzo is... not my favourite. Honestly I’m okay if it dies tonight. Jake, Livingston, Ben, Joey, Jaiden and myself can definitely switch things up. I imagine we can get John and Xavier on board as well, maybe even Kailyn. I was perfectly okay riding the pink wave for a few rounds, but Andrew you just had to go and mess that up. Why? For what reason? Hoping it’s you tonight. xoxo Gossip Girl

I feel good about tribal, rip Andrew I guess, but I'm nervous as hell for some reason that it could be me. It would be perfect because I don't even see it coming... :/

I don't know what happened, but there seems to be a "merging" of tribal lines. Which is good for me. The vote is going Andrew with 9. And the 4 are voting Ben. Or everyone is playing everyone. I am just happy I am not one of the options BUT I was told that Steph and I are being mentioned by people as a tight 2. Well, they're right, but I didn't want that to come out.

Andrew is being his paranoid self. And rightfully so. Unless I’m getting completely bamboozled, the vote should between 7 and 9 votes for Andrew, and between 6 and 4 votes for Ben. Fingers crossed this goes off without a hitch

Okay so premerge wasn’t too hard tbh. Just making friendships with my og palazzo. I just hope that every week people see someone else as less important to their game. I have a long mental game for this and I am prepared to take this game week by week and adjust to everything that comes. I just pray that I make it through this week and even if I lose Andrew I don’t mind tbh because then I have an idol to myself. I’m obsessed with Livingston tbh he’s so funny and I like a good amount of the people I didn’t get a chance to meet premerge so I think there’s good room to move about 

After last tribal I honestly want Ben gone. He’s kind of rude and frustrating. OG Pallazzo has the numbers so in theory we should be set but who knows? 🤷🏼‍♀️

[cami-chats]

Spun Onto You

Title: Spun Onto You

Link: AO3

Square Filled: Playing Spin the Bottle

Ship: Tony Stark/James Rhodes

Rating: Teen

Major Tags: None

Summary: “Tony thought they only played spin the bottle in high school movies, but he's willing to let that go when Rhodey spins it right at him and he thinks that he's finally going to get to kiss him.”

Word Count: 1616

Created for @mcukinkbingo

Full text also below

Tony had felt that this party was too childish for him when they showed up, and while he technically still felt that way hours later, he wouldn't admit to it unless he felt it was absolutely necessary. Maybe it was the lack of hard drugs and people leering at him that made it feel like it was a high school party-- or how he'd seen high school parties shown in movies as he'd been far too young to be invited to any of those while actually attending high school-- but the lack of those things meant that he was enjoying himself. But there were expectations and pressures and Tony wouldn't be able to admit that he was having fun without someone calling him a pussy for it later, so he kept his mouth shut and continued talking to Bruce about science: both because it was interesting and so that he would have a good excuse for why he was sticking around if someone asked.

Even though he was having fun, the high school party vibe increased when a large group formed a circle in the living room and started playing spin the bottle. Tony groaned. "I thought they only played this in movies," he grouched to Bruce as he turned to him, realizing too late that Bruce was looking in on the game with interest.

Bruce blushed and jerked his eyes away with a cough, fiddling with the bottleneck of his root beer. "Yeah. Lame right?"

"I didn't say it was lame," Tony denied even though it had been exactly what he was thinking, "I just didn't know that anyone played it." When Bruce continued to look unconvinced, Tony threw back the rest of his drink. "C'mon, let's see if they'll take two more players." With a wink, he looped his arm through Bruce's and pulled him along.

No one had a problem with them joining of course, and it was decidedly less sexual a game than Tony had been imagining/tv had led him to believe. People were kissing, making out occasionally, but just having fun with it. There was only tension between a few pairs, and that was very obviously sexual tension and not jealousy or judgement so it was fine. Tony took a seat next to Rhodey, bumping shoulders with a wide grin as he sat. If he wanted to get a kiss from him out of this, he'd have better odds sitting pretty much anywhere else, but he wasn't going to risk freaking Rhodey out for the sake of a game, not to mention that it would have been suspicious if he sat anywhere else, what with Bruce being on the other side of him and all. Tony was officially a 'social butterfly', but that was because people flocked to him instead of any skill or charisma on his end.

Rhodey did the best friend thing, and Tony did it back. Cheering when they got a kiss, taunting good-naturedly, and stealing drinks from his water bottle (at least Tony was doing that to Rhodey, the reverse could not be said). So everything was good, and they both cheered from their spot in the circle when Bruce and Betty got to kiss, and instead of moving back to her space she opted to sit next to Bruce. That was around the time that it was James's turn after a kiss from Harold, and he spun the bottle only for it to land on Tony.

Tony's heart beat loudly in his chest and he tried not to look too eager. It wouldn't make a difference for tonight, but Rhodey would remember it tomorrow, and Tony wanted to avoid that mess for as long as he could thank you very much. He turned to James, anticipating, but Rhodey leaned in quick as a hummingbird and pecked his cheek. "Aw c'mon Rhodes, you call that a kiss?" Tony teased, hand holding on the end of his shirt to help him pull Rhodey in a second when he went for a real kiss, but that never happened.

He chuckled, shaking his head dismissively. "Spin the bottle Tones."

Tony's smile froze on his face, and his hand slackened as his heart swooped unpleasantly. James wasn't going to kiss him. Not even within the low commitment aura of this game. It kind of felt like his soul was being crushed under a boot, and he wasn't a fan. He started to detach, but he didn't think anyone else noticed. He bowed out of the game a little while later, and Rhodey didn't give him more than a glance. Tony had the sudden, destructive urge to grab a bottle of vodka and see how much he could stomach, but for once he didn't see alcohol as a solution to the problem.

He'd been having up to now, and like hell he was going to let James and his cheek kiss ruin that. So he chatted with the people that weren't playing the game and tried to forget about what was going on. It didn't help though, that they were in a house that, while roomy for the students sharing it, was small with the people packed into it. There wasn't any forgetting what was happening because every so often there would be a strange pairing or someone would put a lot more effort into the kiss than was necessary and all of a sudden they were about to get it on in front of god and everyone. Well not god because he was probably sleeping at this time of night, but everyone at the party sure as hell would have seen it if clothes got stripped off. As it was, they all very clearly saw Jake Green's hand vanish under Missy's blouse.

After that particular incident, which led to the pair being unceremoniously shoved into an empty room, it was more or less spinning the bottle and then making fun of the person, or complimenting them based on how much the pair liked each other. And that was around the time that James pulled him back into the circle with a grin, much more relaxed than he had been the first time Tony sat next to him in this circle. He even kept an arm around Tony that kept him tucked against his side the entire time. It made his mind turn into a long line of frustrated question marks because what the fuck??? Did the phrase 'mixed signals' mean anything to James or was he just this oblivious? Or, Tony thought with his heart dropping to his shoes, was this really how Rhodey thought about him? Some kid brother that was always getting in trouble but he felt some obligation towards so he didn't leave him to his own devices? It didn't quite add up, but Tony was too hurt to think of those instances.

They left the party when it started to wind down, and Tony couldn't even be happy that James automatically pulled them into the same bed instead of them going to their separate rooms because of the way his thoughts were racing. He hoped he would feel better in the morning, but he didn't really. A little maybe? But not enough that he could shrug it off the way he'd been hoping.

Tony tried to get out of bed for some water, but James pulled him tight to his chest with an arm around his waist-- they'd started spooning at some point in the night okay? It wasn't that weird, he was just a cuddler, hence the nickname 'Rhodey bear' despite James's various pleas that Tony drop it and forget about its existence. Tony was annoyed at the moment, so he huffed. "You are the king of mixed signals."

"Hm?" James said, trying to shake himself awake enough to deal with this conversation. The only reason he knew there was a conversation to be had was because Tony was using his irritated voice, and Rhodey knew what happened when he ignored that tone. "Wha's wron'?"

Tony considered-- very seriously and for a long moment-- telling James that if he didn't know, Tony wasn't going to tell him. He didn't want to be that particular kind of asshole though, so he rolled around to face him. "You don't get to kiss me on the cheek and then keep me from getting out of bed like we're a happy couple. If I don't get sleepy kisses or morning sex, you can't keep me here. So?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "What's it going to be?"

Easy as anything, James leaned forward the handful of inches separating them and kissed Tony. Just like that. Flat on the mouth. Lips on lips. Then leaned back and closed his eyes, snuggling into the pillow.

Tony stared at him, mouth gaping. "Are you kidding me?"

He peeked an eye open. "What?"

"You're going to kiss me and then fall asleep?"

"That was the plan."

Tony opened his mouth to say something else, then paused. Why was he fighting this? James wasn't the sort of person to kiss him just to shut him up, and he was always more honest when tired than fully awake. "Huh."

"What?"

"You actually like me."

"Yeah."

"I mean really like me."

"Yeah," he repeated, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Then why didn't you give me a real kiss at the party last night!"

"You're gonna think it's stupid."

"Probably, but are you really going to let that stop you?"

"Yes. Now go to sleep."

"Aww c'mon honey bear tell me!"

"I'm already regretting this," he said, but he tightened his grip on Tony's waist so he knew that he was joking.

[pass-the-bechdel]

Brooklyn Nine-Nine season three full review

How many episodes pass the Bechdel test?

73.91% (seventeen of twenty-three).

What is the average percentage per episode of female characters with names and lines?

33.21%

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 40% female?

Three (episode three ‘Boyle’s Hunch’ (41.66%), episode eleven ‘Hostage Situation’ (45.45%), and episode twenty-one ‘Maximum Security’ (40%)).

How many episodes have a cast that is less than 20% female?

Zero.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Eighteen. Seven who appeared in more than one episode, three who appeared in at least half the episodes, and three who appeared in every episode.

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Forty-eight. Eleven who appeared in more than one episode, six who appeared in at least half the episodes, and four who appeared in every episode.

Positive Content Status:

Nothing bad, but nothing particularly impressive either, which is a let-down for this show. It has encouraged its audience to expect a higher standard (average rating of 3).

General Season Quality:

Messy. Not disastrous, but not quite the sure thing it felt like it was in the first two seasons. It’s still a good time, but it feels unfocused and occasionally tone-deaf.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) under the cut:

Well, the good news is that despite the stats not being as good as I hoped they might be for this show, they are an improvement on the first and second seasons, albeit a negligible one. Something is better than nothing. Not that the something we got was that dire; I’m just not really sure what to say about it, in the end. I said it was messy, and I meant it.

The season started out ok, with the status quo all changed up, Holt in the PR division, the Vulture in the Nine-nine. I do think it was a good move, not dragging out that set up for too long, but they had good fun with it for the few episodes that it lasted, and most importantly, they milked some great character/relationship fodder out of it, proving that it wasn’t just a bang-and-bluster idea to close out the second season, with no real fallout on the other side. As much as we both want our Captain back and can feel fairly sure that we’ll get him, delivering on that and returning to the status quo within the first episode or two of the season would have cheapened the event. A handful of episodes of hardship followed by an emotionally satisfying sacrifice to restore the natural order is much, much better. It’s not about shocking twists, it’s about character arcs, and the journey to Holt’s reinstatement was a quality one that enhanced the personal and combined narratives of Holt, Jake, and Amy. Unfortunately, it seems like the quality journeys and character-enhancing narratives kinda stopped there.

Obviously, various other events took place after that arc concluded, and many opened up new avenues of exploration for our characters. The problem is the consistency of that exploration, or rather, the lack of it. The personal lives and narratives of the characters seemed to be on-again, off-again, there was little sense of them as developing events that remain in play even when they’re not actively on screen. For example: there’s no forgetting that Terry has twin girls at home in the first two seasons, even though the kids and his wife are almost never on screen. Terry mentions them often, he has sub-plots relevant to his home life even if the home life itself isn’t depicted, and even when there’s no explicit evidence that he’s a family man, it remains present in his personality; he’s responsible and settled, he’s not on the dating scene, he’s a paternal presence for the rest of the squad, etc. There’s a consistent image of Terry Jeffords that maintains our memory of his personal details even when they’re not active elements of his on-screen behaviour or plots. The fact that he just welcomed a third child this season, however? Easily forgotten. It almost never comes up at all. A major change like that SHOULD be reflected in his character (Terry is extra tired lately; Terry is taking extra shifts for the money OR Terry is avoiding working overtime so that he can get home to help with the family; Terry is more stressed; Terry is extra friendly because he’s full of familial love and it’s overflowing into his work life). Normally, these are exactly the sorts of things that would be incorporated into subplots that allow us to explore different facets of the character, thereby reinforcing the audience’s retention of new character details while also allowing the character to get into whatever fun little not-necessarily-meaningful shenanigans the plot wants of them. This season frequently lacked this kind of basic character consistency, using characters for random not-necessarily-meaningful shenanigans that could have happened at any time in the series, or with any character. WHO is involved becomes irrelevant, because their personality isn’t being used to enhance the plot, there’s nothing being continued or fleshed out or just reinforced in the audience’s memory, and that leaves us with nothing much to hold on to. Stuff happened, and maybe it was fun in the moment, but you forget it almost as soon as it leaves the screen.

The consequence of a lack of character engagement - not the same thing as just having the character’s be present - is that disjointed effect that I complained about regularly across the season as I struggled with subplots that I frequently forgot were happening even mid-episode, despite the fact that conceptually at least, they were fun ideas. Nothing was using the characters properly, and so their personalities seemed to be shelved whenever they weren’t being handed specific single-episode personal content, and the consequence of THAT was that sometimes even when the characters were ‘on’, they felt off, forced, awkward, because their behaviour wasn’t consistent with what it had been the previous episode when they were given some meaningless subplot that existed for no other reason than to make sure all the actors earned their paychecks week by week. And that’s part of the problem, again: shenanigans written not for character, but just to fill space, just to give whoever isn’t involved in the central plot of the episode something to do in the meantime. They were much, much better at making the narratives flow together in the first two seasons, so that even perfunctory busy-work subplots didn’t FEEL like perfunctory busy-work subplots. Again, the key to that was character engagement, not just character presence. The shenanigans should be driven by the personalities of the characters; if the personalities of the characters are being molded to facilitate a shenanigan, you’re getting character presence, not engagement. 

AND THEN THERE WAS PIMENTO. As I noted while watching the episodes, both the dude and the plot he brought with him were erratic, sometimes super serious, high-stakes, and not funny, and sometimes slapsticky weird-for-the-sake-of-it comedy, and the tonal back and forth was a mess. There were aspects of Pimento’s very clear need for intensive therapy which I was not comfortable seeing as the butt of a joke, and of course the whole plot of FBI moles and witness protection which brought us to our season finale and the status quo shake-up coming in to next season was a cut entirely above what the show had served us previously. At mid-season, they did their very own Die Hard episode, and I was delighted by how they balanced the action-movie-style jeopardy with the show’s traditional comedic flavour. The Pimento episodes and the story that followed was still fun, still good watching, and it was some of the most character-consistent and engaged plotting they had turned in over a very patchy season, but it also set a strange precedent on a wobbly foundation. I’m not sure the show can sustain this level of serious intrigue, or that it intends to, and my concern is that it’s hard to back off from something like this and return to being irreverent without leaving a weird dark cloud over the show. Pimento and his game-changer narrative came out of nowhere, meaning that even when it was good, it was out of place, and I’m not sure what else I can say about that until I’ve seen how it plays out in season four. It just feels kinda like no one was paying that much attention to what kind of stories they were telling in this season, or how it was hanging together, or whether or not individual characters were having meaningful narratives that continued to impact their lives in large or small ways as time went by, the way that normal things do. I guess my wish-list for season four is looking pretty clear at this point. Nine-nine?

[ultrahpfan5blog]

Brooklyn Nine Nine: Season 7 Retrospective

Finally done with season 7. I'm pretty impressed that I managed to finish all episodes before season 8 began. But that also speaks to the bingeability of the show. Season 7 is one of the less eventful seasons of the show in terms of plot. Unlike the previous seasons, there are no plot through lines or sub stories that drive the season. Its a very light and fun season with no major darkness lurking throughout. If I had to pinpoint one arc for the season then that would have to be Jake and Amy trying to have a baby with the season ending with the baby's birth. So the season basically charts them trying and then conceiving and giving birth.

This season does feel a lot faster and that obviously has to do with it being the shortest season. All the episodes this season are enjoyable. The first half of the season deals with a shift in dynamics of the precinct with Holt being a patrol officer. The show has some fun with that, since it gets him actively involved in more frivolous activities like the Jimmy Jab games, having to deal with doing mundane duties and taking orders from Jake and Terry in various episodes. The first half of the season also has Vanessa Bayer as a guest star in a handful of episodes as Debbie and she even has an episode named after her. I know people have a mixed opinion of her but I quite enjoyed her kooky vibe. I think the show missed an opportunity not following up on the dead twin sister idea that was planted in the premiere. That could have been fun. We get returns from Adrian Pimento and Doug Judy. Pimemento is a fun episode.

Like I mentioned before, I enjoy all the episodes. However, the Jimmy Jab games II isn't quite the home run compared to its predecessor in season 2. Its not quite as snappy with the pacing and humor but it gives Rosa and Holt some nice moments as well as show how Jake and Amy have now grown as a couple but haven't changed in essence of who they are. Valloweaster is another strong heist episode and it has some neat twists. Its not quite top tier heist episode but it ranks somewhere in the middle. The show got a fairly big casting coup by getting JK Simmons in the titular role as Dillman. That's a strong Charles episode and a good one for the Jake and Charles dynamic. Its always cool when they flip the dynamic a bit.

There are a few episodes that I really love. Towards the top of the list is Trying which is the most serious of the episodes of the season. And its a very effective one at that. Having experienced my sister close hand through the struggles of conceiving, the episode rang very honest and true and in the end, beautifully bittersweet. I thought the way they handled how exhausting and stressful the process is was very well done and I like that they let the episode end on a bittersweet note. They didn't puncture the drama of the scene but they also showed why Jake and Amy work so well together. They are always there to comfort each other even during difficult times. The only thing about this that doesn't work is no fault of anyone, which is that Melissa Fumero was so obviously pregnant all season. It does make it a little more difficult to buy into it, but I can't hold it against the show. I also thing that for drama purposes, they should have held them actually getting pregnant for a few episodes. I suppose it was tough to do so given how Melissa was showing quite prominently and they couldn't hide it for much longer. Irrespectively, Ding Dong is also one of the funniest episodes of the season. As with every season, there are always a couple of Holt special. This episode is a Holt special. We get both petty Holt and vindictive Holt, with a gloriously reactive Rosa to boot. It also was a sign that the show was starting to wrap up mentally with them killing of Wuntch. I thought they addressed the rivalry and Holt's feeling of her being gone very well. But the episode was a masterclass of Holt insults. Similarly brilliant is Ransom, which puts the Holt, Kevin, and Jake dynamic in the forefront. Adding Cheddar to the mix and there is no way to go wrong. Only Andre Braugher can make you crack up with a fierce delivery of "you took the wrong fluffy boy" and yet have it be completely believable. The action scene with Holt is probably the longest action scene I have seen on the show. Jake's reaction to the whole thing is delightful. Like with the wedding episode, 'Lights Out' also falls into the standard "everything goes wrong during birth of child" episode. But its heartwarming and funny and very true to the characters. Pretty much everyone gets to deliver memorable moments. We get a great Rosa and Amy dynamic with Rosa taking care of Amy while Amy takes charge during a blackout while her water broke, we see Terry and Holt dancing to hip hop, we see Jake and Charles foiling a bank robbery, and we even see Hitchcock and Scully make a birthing suite for Amy at the precinct. Its a very fun way to end the season and it ends ironically with the words "everyone wash your hands".

In many ways season 7 felt like the show finally starting to wrap up. the ending of the Wuntch and Holt rivalry was one sign. Also the show completed the arc for Jake that I always foresaw for the character, where he went from being an irresponsible man child in season 1 to a responsible adult who became a father, without loosing his innate goofball charm. I feel the show successfully completed that arc, which was evident in episode like Admiral Peralta, where you see he is by far the most mature of the Peralta men. As a result, I was not too shocked when they announced the end of the show with season 8. With the events of 2020 and the way the season ended, it felt that the show mostly just needed to close the books on the characters in terms of their professional lives. The season was a fun blast. Its not the level of season 1, 2, and 5. Its better than season 4 and 6. So it lands along with season 3 at a 8.5/10. While its sad to see the show come to an end with season 8, I am happy it gets to go out on its own terms. I am curious to see where the characters land. Will Holt become Commissioner, will Terry become Captain, will they flash forward to Amy becoming Captain. What happens with Rosa and Charles? Captain Kim did open an interesting notion for Jake maybe joining the FBI. That seems like the right sort of career progression for him since he isn't interested in management type of work required in becoming Sergeant or Lieutenant or further. Whatever it is, I'm confident the show will end on a good note.

[jakesuit0]

What is Life? Review

This episode is four different good episode ideas mashed together into one. The episode starts with Jake pranking Finn with a bag of butter, and it looks like a prank war is on! A prank war episode between Finn and Jake sounds like a lot of fun!

Oh wait, Finn's building a robot now. Okay, this should be an interesting concept for an episode. He sings a cute song while building him. Turns out, just putting a bunch of random junk together doesn't create a functioning robot. You just need it to be struck by lightning first! Yeah...a random lightning strike bringing something to life feels pretty dumb and lazy (although its much, much worse in "Cherry Cream Soda"), but it isn't that big of a deal. And even though I said Finn built NEPTR with random junk, he does have a really cool design. Its also really funny that the face Finn drew on him doesn't actually end up being his real face.

And a new (sort of major?) character is introduced: NEPTR (Never Ending Pie Throwing Robot)! NEPTR is one of my favorite side characters in the show. He is okay in this episode but doesn't really shine here. He is so much better in his later appearances. That’s mostly due to the episode being so messy that we don't get a consistent story with NEPTR. It's a shame. Despite NEPTR getting so many cameos (which is why you might consider him a semi-major character), the show never gives him another episode fully dedicated to him ("Mystery Dungeon" and "Don’t Look" come close), and the one episode he gets, sucks. It's also ironic that NEPTR gets a significant role before BMO does, despite BMO being a way more significant character.

It's pretty jarring seeing the usually good natured Finn not treat NEPTR as a person, but as a tool. I don't mind this in this episode, as it is eventually addressed in "Don't Look" (although I hate how the show then ignores the developments from that episode afterwards). NEPTR still isn't fully functional. I love the line where he asks Finn if it pleases him to see him suffer, very dark. This is the first of many episodes (although Bubblegum is the character who is usually used to explore these themes) to explore the creation of life and the consequences that come with that. Okay, so we got a new character and a decently interesting concept to explore in this episode, great! Oh wait, this episode is now about sneaking around in someone's home while trying not to be caught.

Finn and NEPTR go to the Ice Kingdom so one of Ice King's ligntning bolts can power NEPTR. It's strange that NEPTR doesn't know what snow is, but somehow already knows what breaking and entering is. It is also a bit out of character for Finn to be so fine with breaking into Ice King's home and never feeling bad about it. He's supposed to be all about righteousness, even when dealing with villians. Soon in "What Have You Done", Finn does have morals he abides by for how Ice King should be treated. And one season later in "The Chamber of Frozen Blades", Finn ends up feeling guilty when he again breaks into Ice King's home. This episode has a lot of "its just a prank bro" energy. Finn dismisses breaking and entering as "pranking and entering". And the talking balloons steal Finn's wallet as a prank. Those two examples are funny, however!

For the first time, we get to see glimpses into Ice King's leisure time at home. He talks to himself and pretends he's talking to a wife. He plays video games (and is that Gaurdians of Sunshine?). Fun stuff. Ice King is pretty mean to Gunter in this episode. He yells at him a lot. Like how Finn uses NEPTR as a tool, Ice King uses Gunter as a desk for his computer while he games. It's interesting that later in the episode he wants to be a father figure to NEPTR, but doesn't see that he already has Gunter that he could treat more as a son. Well, daughter, but Ice King doesn't know that yet.

Finn and NEPTR sneak around. I like the scene with them hanging on the icycles on the wall, with Ice King almost catching them. Its a suspenseful moment. Finn and NEPTR encounter some ice monsters with cool (heh) designs. They find a weird machine that stores Ice King's lightning bolts. Ice King's powers come from his crown and he can shoot as many as he wants, so why does he need a machine? Doesn't make any sense and the machine serves no purpose in the story anyway. Ice King sees NEPTR, acknowledges him as an innocent bystander, and then still zaps him. Another good use of dark humor. Ice King's lightning bolts are actual lightning in this episode which is also really weird. Every other time in the series, Ice King's lightning bolts are made out of solid ice. That included earlier this season in "Evicted!".

Now that NEPTR is at full power, him and Finn return back home to prank Jake. The balloons fly away, excited to finally be able to die. I'll give the episode this, it does dark humor very well. Ice King's lightning bolt makes NEPTR start acting a bit more Ice Kingy. And Ice King starts to see NEPTR more as a son now that he has his DNA. This takes us to the episode's fourth new plot.

NEPTR likes pranking with Finn...but now he also finds kidnapping princesses with Ice King desirable. Ice King shows NEPTR his imagination zone and a bunch of princesses, including an oddly differently designed Muscle Princess. Ice King shows him a vision of Finn and Jake pooting on him to show that Finn and Jake won't treat him right. Which is true. Finn and Jake end up treating NEPTR like shit throughout the series. He honestly may have been better off with Ice King. NEPTR must now chose between Finn and Ice King. This climax has no time to be fleshed out. NEPTR chooses Finn because...reasons? There is no time to go into why NEPTR chooses him. It's weird that NEPTR never shows any Ice King-like tendencies after this episode. He chose Finn, but Ice King's DNA should still have some influence over his personality. I like him still wanting a relationship with Ice King in "Mystery Dungeon", but he still doesn't have any of Ice King's personality traits. Maybe that's for the best though, because I like how NEPTR is portrayed down the line. Would have been nice for them to acknowledge his Ice King side a little at some point again though.

I like seeing Ice King's paternal side. But it has no time to be explored. I imagine Simon's role as Marceline's caretaker is influencing Ice King's feelings towards NEPTR on some level. The ending with Ice King fantasizing about spending time with NEPTR as his son is a good scene. But, it doesn't feel like a fitting ending to this story, because this wasn't even the story of the episode for most of it.

This is the first time Jake gets only a minor role. I love how all he does this episode is throw a garbage bag full of butter at Finn, not give a fuck about Finn's threats, ends up sleeping all day, and then gets hit in the face with pie. Based Jake.

So yeah, I don't really like this one. Sorry, I know some people do! It has some good moments, especially with Ice King. But the episode is very messy. It doesn't have a consistent, well-flowing story. No good idea has any time to breathe. Maybe if they had just focused on two of their ideas, the episode would have succeeded. Most of its good ideas are done better and given proper attention in later episodes. Finn and Jake sneak around Ice King's house in "Chamber of Frozen Blades", although not when he is home. They try not to get caught when sneaking into Marceline's house when she does come home in"Marceline's Closet". Princess Bubblegum gets tons of episodes brilliantly exploring the topic of creating life, including robots. And while its not a great episode, we get a whole episode about pranks in "Princess Day". This episode dethrones "Business Time" as the worst episode of the show so far for me.

Grade: C-

[ladyseaheart1668]

Endless Summer Book 4 : Daughter of Vaanu (Chapter 5)

Description: Fun and games in Elyys’tel, but Alodia is starting to get worried as the Catalyst Reunion nears its end. 

Tagging: @xo-endlessmayhem-xo , @princesstopgun 

Chapter Five : The Pebble in the Pond

Estela

I probably should have known better than to get cocky. As the silence stretches on between us, her mouth twists sulkily. “Come on, Estela, I really didn't want you to look at me like that...”

“Sorry. It's just...my mother is...”

“Dead. I know. But so was Mike when I gave myself back to Vaanu. And he turned up alive. I think I felt guilty leaving Jake less than an hour after he watched Mike die again, and I begged Vaanu for that one favor. But...I can't imagine that I wouldn't have...no...I'm sure I did at least ask if you could have your mother back, too...”

She's speaking so quickly that her words barely have time to register before I'm focusing on her next sentence. But then she abruptly trails off, and my brain has a chance to catch up.

“...It's...been five years,” I say slowly. “If somehow my mother was restored, I can't imagine that she wouldn't have come back to San Trobida sooner than this...”

Alodia's shoulders sag. She looks disappointed. More disappointed than I feel. Perhaps I should be more crushed, but the truth is that it has been eleven years now since my mother's death, and such a fleeting, barely believable glimmer of hope is too little to excite me. It doesn't even feel disloyal to admit it.

“...I'm sorry, Estela. I just hoped...”

“It's all right. It's not your fault.”

“That whole moment is just...such a blur...”

“Why not come back inside?”

“...No...I think I need some fresh air. You go on, though. I'm just going to wander a bit.”

Quinn

No one can help being curious and worried when Estela returns to the audience hall alone, but she quickly assures us that nothing is wrong.

“She...was wondering if it was possible my mother had been restored along with Mike. I think she's a little disappointed that she wasn't.”

“I...should I go after her?” Jake asks uncertainly. “I...don't want to crowd her...but...”

“Let her have a few minutes to herself,” I reply. “She's in Elyys'tel. No one here is going to let any harm come to her.”

He shoves his hands into his pockets, pouting a little. “I know...It's just...”

Sean puts a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, we all get it, man. But you said yourself you don't want to crowd her.”

“She must be feeling so crazy disoriented right now,” Diego sighs. “A little solitude might do her a world of good.”

“Why don't we all go down to the beach?” Varyyn suggests. “Taari has been eager to play with you.”

As we make our way down to the beach, we spot Alodia on one of the far platforms, stretched out on her back with her hands laced behind her bed, staring up into the magnificent canopy above her.

On the beach, Taari immediately claims Estela and Zahra to team up with him for quuk'tanoi. Varyyn, Seraxa, and Diego volunteer to oppose them.

“You gonna earn your mask today, buddy?” Diego asks, grinning.

“I'm gonna try!” Taari replies.

“Do not imagine we will go easy on you,” Varyyn warns. Taari scoffs.

“You never do anyway. Even if I wanted you to, you wouldn't.”

“That's right.”

The six of them gather their sailboards and splash into the ocean. The others drift off towards various games and activities set up on the beach. It's like the Valinorim all over again. Except that this time, it's in honor of the Catalysts. I amuse myself with the children, playing a game that involves seashells and coconuts until I spot Alodia hovering near the treeline like a seventh grader at a dance working up the nerve to ask her crush onto floor. I smile, wandering over to her.

“Thinking of joining us? You're welcome to, of course.”

She smiles a little. “...The last time I played Vaanti games was at the Valinorim.”

I chuckle. “I was just thinking of that myself.”

“...I was more remembering what had happened before that.”

I feel my smile slip. “You mean when you saved my life with the Island's Heart.”

She nods. “...Do you remember much of what happened on that bridge?”

“Not...too much. I...I was fading. It was hard to focus on anything. I don't even think I really realized what was happening to me.”

“I knew exactly what was happening. I had seen it before, when we both touched your idol on Sharktooth Isle. That's why I started crying then. Because I had just watched you die in my arms on a bridge in Elyys'tel. I didn't realize then how soon it was going to happen. When it started to happen in front of me...I begged you not to go. I was furious and terrified that this was happening when I hadn't had a chance to stop it yet. And if I couldn't save you...”

“You did, though. You saved all of us. Everything.” She reaches out a hand to me, and I take it, squeezing.

“I never really had the chance to explain about those idols, did I.”

“Well, you told us that you were watching us die, and I think we all guessed those were visions of previous timelines, but...we never got details, no.”

“It wasn't just your deaths that I saw. I saw visions from your pasts, too. It's how I knew that Michelle never actually cheated on Sean...” She trails off, frowning. “...Wait...did they ever tell you guys about that? Did I just blab someone's embarrassing secret?”

“No, don't worry. Michelle told me. But I don't know how many of the others know.”

“...Right...well...I saw visions from your pasts. From before the island. Everyone's except Diego's. ...I don't know why I never questioned that...”

“Wait, but...you had an idol, too. Did...you see your own past?”

“...I saw myself talking to Diego, encouraging him to go to the party he'd been talking about all week. ...I suppose if that actually happened, he was talking to himself...”

“Did...you see your own death?”

“No. Worse. Just before you collapsed on the bridge, I saw myself alone, digging eleven graves.”

As the gravity of her words settles in, I shudder. “I guess that must have made you pretty desperate.”

“I would have been desperate either way. But yes. That vision made everything that much larger.”

“You know...I never actually knew you were the Endless, or the missing piece of the Island's Heart...but from the time I was cured, I was able to sense that you were...different somehow. That you were connected to the same spirit that was riding inside me. There was an energy in you that matched the one in me, but it seemed like it was...locked behind something.”

“In retrospect, that makes perfect sense. ...Why didn't you tell me?”

“Probably for the same reason you never told us about the visions from the idols. A combination of fear and a desire not to face a bunch of questions I didn't have answers to.”

“Fair enough.” She is quiet for a long moment. “Do you...feel anything of Vaanu now?”

“...Not that I can tell, no. I figure it took itself out of me when it left.”

“But presumably Silas Prescott's crystal had enough energy to bring me back.” She sighs. “I wish I could remember more about Vaanu's home planet...about what the crystals actually were. The crystals weren't Vaanu itself. They weren't actually part of its body or its spirit. That was the Island's Heart...and...the crystal pillar...” She hisses suddenly, grimacing, bringing a hand up to clutch her head.

“Are you okay?”

“I'm getting the feeling I'm going to get tired of that question,” she replies wryly. In spite of myself, I chuckle.

“I know the feeling.”

She lifts her head to smile at me. For a long moment, she is quiet, just looking at me. I look back, willing myself to be patient, to wait until she feels that she can say what's on her mind. I refuse to push her.

“...Do you remember after you were cured, when you told me about feeling a kind of...grief?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you ever feel...overwhelmed? By the thought of living a full life? Finishing school, finding a job, possibly getting married and having a family? Growing old?”  

“Of course. ...Is...that what you're feeling now?”

“Yeah. Of course. I mean, I didn't live with the idea that it wouldn't happen as long as you did. When things got hard, I would imagine my future. But...in retrospect, the future I imagined was all about you guys. Everything Vaanu showed us. You founding a non-profit, Diego writing a book, Jake clearing his name, Sean becoming a football star...all I really imagined for myself was living with Jake, and maybe having his kids...”

“Do you not want that anymore?”

“Oh, I still want it, don't you worry about that. At least, I still want him. And his kids if he wants any. I like the idea of having kids, but I don't need them if he doesn't. Either way, though...that might be something for further down the line. But my point is that because I was born for all of you...I never truly thought about a future for myself outside of you. And then that became moot. But now...”

“Now there's a world of possibility in front of you.”

“Yeah. And I don't really know where to start.”

I feel a kind of relief flooding through me at that. I expect she and the others may have felt something similar when I started to talk about the future as something I needed to prepare for.

“What was your major at Hartfeld?”

“History, I think. With a minor in dance.”

“Oh, that's right. You were a dancer, weren't you? I think I remember that...”

“Yup. And a gymnast. I was pretty good at it, too. But I didn't have nearly the dedication to make an Olympic career out of it or anything.”

“Do you know what you wanted to do with your history degree?”

“...Walk through the world and get to know the people who walked that ground thousands of years before me...”

I feel a chill creep over my shoulders. There's something terribly beautiful and haunting in the sentiment.

“Well...I'm sure you can take a little time to figure it out. As far as the world is concerned you've been lost for five years. I'm sure everyone will forgive you if you don't dive right into the business of paying bills and taxes.”

“You're probably right. ...But it's still scary to think about.”

“Of course it is. But that's why it's okay not to rush into it.”

She frowns a little. “...Hey...why is Murphy still around?”

“...I...think you would know better than I would.”

“T'kal is still here, too. What about the Yeti?”

“We...haven't seen her since Vaanu left. Or Cetus, or any of the Guardians. I think Cetus and the Shore Guardian are still dead. But I don't know about the Deep Guardian. We haven't had much reason to go into the volcano.”

“...But clearly, not all of the anomalies were taken away...”

“Maybe...it just wasn't possible to undo everything...”

“Maybe not. ...Vaanu's arrival sent a shockwave over the planet. Compared to that, T'kal and Murphy and I are just pebbles thrown in a pond. What concerns me is that any one of us has the potential to make waves.”

“But you don't think you have the power to break reality like Vaanu?”

“I don't think so, no.”

“And if you don't, I doubt that T'kal or Murphy do, either.”

“You're probably right,” she sighs. For a moment, she is quiet, looking out over the water. The quuk'tanoi game is tied two-to-two. Taari just barely manages to keep Varyyn from ending it with the winning goal. Her gaze shifts to further down the beach, in somewhat shallower water, a series of narrow wooden posts rise above water's rippling surface. I remember Michelle and Craig facing off against Varyyn and Diego in that event at the Valinorim. The dueling staves are lying on the sand. Alodia abruptly strips down to the bathing suit I've loaned her for the week and starts toward the water.

“Where are you going?”

“To see if I still have the right stuff.”

She wades into the ocean, swimming out to the posts and mounting the nearest one in a single graceful motion. She balances carefully on its flat, narrow top, barely large enough for the balls of both her feet. She starts tentatively at first, just stepping from one post to the next. Gradually, she starts to fold in a pirouette or two. Jake and Sean take notice and start to wander over, followed by a few of the others. Alodia starts to add in some handstands and flips. A crowd of Vaanti and Catalysts starts to form as she starts to move faster and more artistically. One of the Vaanti begins pounding out a rhythm for her on a traditional drum. She moves with it, dancing over the posts with cat-like balance and grace. Some of the Vaanti start singing and chanting. I find myself clapping to the beat of the drummer. It seems to motivate her. She is dancing for an audience now, aiming to impress and inspire. Finally, she stills, ending in a crouch on the center post. Even from the shore, I can see the sweat glistening on her skin and the way her breasts heave with exertion. The crowd erupts into enthusiastic applause and cheers.

I notice Jake starting into the water, his pace somewhat hurried as he swims out to the posts. I quickly realize why as Alodia wobbles slightly in her attempt to slip off the post and into the water. She could probably do with a little help getting back to shore. She's trembling a little as she climbs out of the water, leaning on Jake. She smiles sheepishly.

“I think I'm going to be feeling that in the morning.”

“Maybe, but that was frickin' awesome!” Craig exclaims. “Where did you learn to do that?!”

“Uh...gymnastics classes? I think the real question should be where I learned to do that in the timeline where I never existed before the island.”

“Well, that's easy,” Diego remarks. “Being able to do cool stunts was one of the superhero powers I imagined for you.”

She snorts. “That's not a power, that's a skill. Couldn't you have given me the power of flight or something? I've always wanted to fly.”

“What, time travel isn't good enough for you?”

“Well, you didn't dream that up for me, that was a side effect of being part-alien.”

Diego grins. “...I challenge anyone to say they've got a cooler best friend than I do.”

“Next time we play quuk'tanoi,” Taari declares, “she's on my team!”

I start a little at the sound of his voice. I am embarrassed to admit that I missed the end of the game.

“How did you do out there, Taari?”

“He has not yet earned his mask,” Varyyn says. “But it will not be long. He put up a good fight.”

“Say, I got an idea,” Jake pipes up. “I'm guessing Alodia needs to rest tonight after that display, but what's say tomorrow we get the old dream team back together? Me, Cap, and Princess against Varyyn, Seraxa, and Taari.”

“Well, I'm game if Alodia is,” Sean says, grinning.

“I...I don't know. It's been years since I played...”

“It's been years since you were on a balance beam, too,” Diego points out.

“After that display, I'd be more concerned about those two weighing you down,” Seraxa agrees, nodding at Jake and Sean with a smirk.

“Hey, watch it,” Jake retorts. “Remember what underestimating us got you last time.”

“Well...” Alodia smiles, and I can see her trying to hide her eagerness. “We'll see how my body feels in the morning. If I'm walking like an old lady, I'm out.”

Varyyn

We spend the last daylight hours in play on the shore. Alodia appears to have recovered from whatever melancholy mood had gripped her earlier. Though her performance on the sparring poles has exhausted her, she engages in conversation, laughing and telling jokes with the Catalysts and the Vaanti. She listens eagerly to Taari's stories of the last five years in Elyys'tel, and shares in the feasting back in the village.

The skies have turned dark by the time the feasting is over. Seraxa has shuffled Taari off to bed, and the Catalysts have drifted off towards their beds. When Diego begins yawning, I encourage him to wait for me in our hammock, but I am not quite ready to join him there. At first, I'm not sure what it is that compels me to make my way up the top platform instead of joining my beloved in blissful sleep, but the urge is to overwhelming to ignore. When I arrive there, I find Alodia, staring out at the stars glittering above the ocean. I stop dead in my tracks when I realize what precisely drew me up here.

… I can still feel her. Her presence remains on the edges of my mind, a consciousness separate from my own. For five years, it was gone. But I must have felt it return the same moment she did.

“Anlashokk,” I murmur.

“You feel it too, then?” she asks in Vaanti.

“I did not realize it until now. But yes. I do. We are still linked.”

“So we are.”

“Do you suppose it means anything?”

“As far as I can tell, it means that I am the daughter of Vaanu, and you are Vaanti, whose ancestors imbibed the sap from the tree nurtured by my parent's energy. It means that on a beach five and a half years ago, you touched my forehead and broke the barrier between our minds so that we could communicate. ...It means that we are who we are, and that has not been fundamentally altered either by Vaanu's leaving this planet or my returning to it.”

“...Do you want Diego or the others to know?”

She sighs, leaning back against Elyys'tel's massive trunk. “I don't think it should be a secret, but I don't feel the need to tell them, either. I don't mind if you tell Diego. Perhaps I will tell the others in time, if it feels necessary.”

I nod. “It is your decision.”

She is quiet for a long time. When she speaks again, it is in English. “Varyyn? How come you never turned on me? When you learned that I was the Endless?”

I could tell her that she was never the Endless, that the Endless was an alternate version of herself, but part of the advantage of having her in my mind is knowing when I would only be wasting words. It would not comfort her to hear that. But I believe the truth might.

“Because of Diego.”

She sighs. “I see. Because he loves me and you love him, you couldn't hate me.”

“No. Well, yes. But that's not why I didn't turn on you.”

“I don't follow.”

It is my turn to be silent for awhile, looking out over the still, peaceful water. “...Do you remember the previous timelines? Those lives you lived before?”

“Not all of them. And not all the time. I think they've been largely repressed as a matter of self-preservation.”

“...The Endless went back to change the Vaanti because the meeting between the Vaanti and the Catalysts always ended with the Catalysts slaughtered.”

“...Yes.”

“...Do you...do you know if I was ever there?”

The look she passes to me suggests that she had never considered the question before. “I...I don't know, Varyyn. I suppose it's possible some version of you was there. Though...you probably were not recognizable. Whatever version of Varyyn lived in those timelines before the Endless changed you would have been feral like the other Vaanti. Part of what makes you the Varyyn we know is your upbringing. And you were raised with the Endless' teachings.”

The relief that floods through me is so strong that I feel my knees weaken, but I manage to stay upright, gripping the rope support in front of me. A knot of tears crystalizes in my throat.

“...Since the Endless revealed herself to us in the temple, since she took off her helmet and showed us your aged face, since she revealed that it was in an attempt to keep her loved ones alive that she made herself a god to us...I have wondered if I was there when the Catalysts were slaughtered. I have wondered...” I choke, swallowing hard before continuing, “...In my nightmares, I can see the day Cetus killed my mother. That happened right in front of me. That memory is barely more real than the images my mind conjures up of the Catalysts being slaughtered by the Vaanti. I can see Diego. ...I can see him on his knees, begging for his life. For his friends' lives. I don't want to imagine things like this, but I cannot help it. My mind tortures me, filling in every detail. Who he has already seen die. Who is still living, still begging, still frightened, still fighting, still weeping.

“I can't bear to think of it, but I do. All the time. I see him die, Alodia. My mind shows me his death, and I want to tear apart the one who held the spear with my bare hands. ...But then I realize that it might have been me. There might have been a time when I heard his cries and his pleas and was unmoved. There might have been a time when I looked into his eyes and felt nothing. When I saw his fear and his anguish and never felt the desire to take him in my arms and fight any who would harm him.” I look at her, my tears flowing freely now. “...How could I condemn you for loving him more than I did then? For never wavering in that love, and doing everything in your power to save him?”

Her mouth twists, her eyes shimmering in the moonlight. “...It wasn't you, Varyyn. You did not come into being until after the Endless changed your people. I don't care if the Vaanti who killed Diego was the only son of your parents, it wasn't you. You are my best friend's soulmate.”

“...And you are the woman who brought hope to my people. You brought my soulmate to my side. And you will always have my friendship.”

“As you will have mine.” She smiles, wiping her eyes. “...I should probably find my own soulmate. I expect he won't sleep until he knows I haven't vanished again.”

I offer her my arm as we descend the winding platforms. She still looks worn out from her performance earlier, and I fear in her exhausted state that she will stagger and invite disaster. After seeing her safely into Jake's arms, I make my way to my own beloved.

He appears to be asleep already, his arms resting on his belly, his head lolled to one side. But as I climb carefully into the hammock beside him, he stirs, turning to nestle into me. I draw him to my chest.

“It has been too long since I slept with you in my arms,” I murmur, kissing his hair.

“It's only been three nights.”

“That might as well be an eternity, my darling.”

He snorts, lifting his head to kiss me. We lie nose-to-nose beneath the canopy of leaves and stars. He winds his arm around me and lets his fingertips trail gently up and down my back, making me shiver. His breath is warm on my face. I let my hand slip under his shirt, gently massaging along his narrow torso. I want to feel his body. I want to feel every inch of his flesh, warm with lifeblood. I press my palm to his breastbone, feeling his heart thump against my skin.

“You sure sleeping is all you want to do?” he chuckles teasingly. In spite of myself, I feel a hot blush blooming in my cheeks.

“...Sleeping is never all I want to do when you are in my arms, my love. ...But I do not think our present location is the proper place for anything else.”

“Maybe not,” he concedes, but I hear a note of mischief in his voice. He brings his hand up to stroke my cheek, and lets his thumb trail over my lips. “But we don't have to stay here, do we. We know all the secluded romantic spots in Elyys'tel.”

He shifts, kissing down my neck toward my chest. I can't help laughing. “An hour ago, you were yawning!”

“Maybe so, but I've had a nice little nap. And I've been dreaming of you playing quuk'tanoi. It's got me in the mood.”

“Well then,” I roll out of the hammock and offer him my hand. “The moon is beautiful tonight, my darling. Let us not waste it.”

He accepts my hand, climbing out of the hammock. As soon as his feet touch the ground, I sweep him into my arms, cradling him. He laughs, winding his arms around my neck.

“I think you're in the mood too, sweetheart.”

I bend to capture his mouth in a kiss. “Hold on tight,” I whisper against his mouth. “Don't let go of me.”

He tightens his grip. “Never, Varyyn. Not as long as I live.” He lets his head drop onto my shoulder. “I promise.”