#its about you and your gang who's 80% white haired characters

[porthavens]

actually i shouldve never made an ffxiv sideblog so i could just torment you all with gifsets and posts about it and eventually convince you to come join me in gamerworld about it. yes its a long game but its worth every second i prommy i PROMMY

[ladydarklord]

The Mighty Boosh on the business of being silly

The Times, November 15 2008

What began as a cult cocktail of daft poems, surreal characters and fantastical storylines has turned into the comedy juggernaut that is the Mighty Boosh. Janice Turner hangs out with creators Noel Fielding, Julian Barratt and the extended Boosh family to discuss the serious business of being silly

In the thin drizzle of a Monday night in Sheffield, a crowd of young women are waiting for the Mighty Boosh or, more precisely, one half of it. Big-boned Yorkshire lasses, jacketless and unshivering despite the autumn nip, they look ready to devour the object of their desire, the fey, androgynous Noel Fielding, if he puts a lamé boot outside the stage door. “Ooh, I do love a man in eyeliner,” sighs Natalie from Rotherham. She’ll be throwing sickies at work to see the Boosh show 13 times on their tour, plus attend the Boosh after-show parties and Boosh book signings. “My life is dead dull without them,” she says.

Nearby, mobiles primed, a pair of sixth-formers trade favourite Boosh lines. “What is your name?” asks Jessica. “I go by many names, sir,” Victoria replies portentously. A prison warden called Davena survives long days with high-security villains intoning, “It’s an outrage!” in the gravelly voice of Boosh character Tony Harrison, a being whose head is a testicle.

Apart from Fielding, what they all love most about the Boosh is that half their mates don’t get it. They see a bloke in a gorilla suit, a shaman called Naboo, silly rhymes about soup, stories involving shipwrecked men seducing coconuts “and they’re like, ‘This is bloody rubbish,’” says Jessica. “So you feel special because you do get it. You’re part of a club.”

Except the Mighty Boosh club is now more like a movement. What began as an Edinburgh fringe show starring Fielding and his partner Julian Barratt and later became an obscure BBC3 series has grown into a box-set flogging, mega-merchandising, 80-date touring Boosh inc. There was a Boosh festival last summer, now talk of a Boosh movie and Boosh in America. An impasse seems to have been reached: either the Boosh will expand globally or, like other mass comedy cults before it – Vic and Bob, Newman and Baddiel – slowly begin to deflate.

But for the moment, the fans still wait in the rain for heroes who’ve already left the building. I find the Boosh gang gathered in their hotel bar, high on post-gig adrenalin. Barratt, blokishly handsome with his ring-master moustache, if a tad paunchy these days, blends in with the crew. But Fielding is never truly “off”. All day he has been channelling A Clockwork Orange in thick black eyeliner (now smudged into panda rings) and a bowler hat, which he wears with polka-dot leggings, gold boots and a long, neon-green fur-collared PVC trenchcoat. He has, as those women outside put it, “something about him”: a carefully-wrought rock-god danger mixed with an amiable sweetness. Sexy yet approachable. Which is why, perched on a barstool, is a great slab of security called Danny.

“He stops people getting in our faces,” says Fielding. “He does massive stars like P. Diddy and Madonna and he says that considering how we’re viewed in the media as a cult phenomenon, we get much more attention in the street than, say, Girls Aloud. Danny says we’re on the same level as Russell Brand, who can’t walk from the door to the car without ten people speaking to him.”

This barometer of fame appears to fascinate and thrill Fielding. Although he complains he can’t eat dinner with his girlfriend (Dee Plume from the band Robots in Disguise) unmolested, he parties hard and publicly with paparazzi-magnets like Courtney Love and Amy Winehouse. He claims he’s tried wearing a baseball cap but fans still recognise him. Hearing this, Julian Barratt smiles wryly: “Noel is never going to dress down.”

It is clear on meeting them that their Boosh characters Vince Noir (Fielding), the narcissistic extrovert, and Howard Moon (Barratt), the serious, socially awkward jazz obsessive, are comic exaggerations of their own personalities. At the afternoon photo shoot, Fielding breaks free of the hair and make-up lady, sprays most of a can of Elnett on to his Bolan feather-cut and teases it to his satisfaction. Very Vince. “It is an art-life crossover,” says Barratt.

At 40, five years older than Fielding, Barratt exhibits the profound weariness of a man trying to balance a five-month national tour with new-fatherhood. After every Saturday night show he returns home to his 18-month-old twins, Arthur and Walter, and his partner Julia Davis (the creator-star of Nighty Night) and today he was up at 5am pushing a pram on Hampstead Heath before taking the train north to rejoin the Boosh. “I go back so the boys remember who I am. But it’s harder to leave them every time,” he says. “It is totally schizophrenic, totally opposite mental states: all this self-obsession and then them.”

About two nights a week on tour, Fielding doesn’t go to bed, parties through the night and performs the next evening having not slept at all. Barratt often retreats to his room to plough through box sets of The Wire. “It’s a bit gritty, but that is in itself an escape, because what we do is so fantastical.”

But mostly it is hard to resist the instant party provided by a large cast, crew and band. Indeed, drinking with them, it appears Fielding and Barratt are but the most famous members of a close collective of artists, musicians and old mates. Fielding’s brother Michael, who previously worked in a bowling alley, plays Naboo the shaman. “He is late every single day,” complains Noel. “He’s mad and useless, but I’m quite protective of him, quite parental.” Michael is always arguing with Bollo the gorilla, aka Fielding’s best mate, Dave Brown, a graphic artist relieved to remove his costume – “It’s so hot in there I fear I may never father children” – to design the Boosh book. One of the lighting crew worked as male nanny to Barratt’s twins and was in Michael’s class at school: “The first time I met you,” he says to Noel, “you gave me a dead arm.” “You were 9,” Fielding replies. “And you were messing with my stuff.”

This gang aren’t hangers-on but the wellspring of the Boosh’s originality and its strange, homespun, degree-show aesthetic: a character called Mr Susan is made out of chamois leathers, the Hitcher has a giant Polo Mint for an eye. When they need a tour poster they ignore the promoter’s suggestions and call in their old mate, Nige.

Fielding and Barratt met ten years ago at a comedy night in a North London pub. The former had just left Croydon Art College, the latter had dropped out of an American Studies degree at Reading to try stand-up, although he was so terrified at his first gig that he ran off stage and had to be dragged back by the compere.

While superficially different, their childhoods have a common theme: both had artistic, bohemian parents who exercised benign neglect. Fielding’s folks were only 17 when he was born: “They were just kids really. Hippies. Though more into Black Sabbath and Led Zep. There were lots of parties and crazy times. They loved dressing up. And there was a big gap between me and my brother – about nine years – so I was an only child for a long time, hanging out with them, lots of weird stuff going on.

“The great thing about my mum and dad is they let me do anything I wanted as a kid as long as I wasn’t misbehaving. I could eat and go to bed when I liked. I used to spend a lot of time drawing and painting and reading. In my own world, I guess.”

Growing up in Mitcham, South London, his father was a postmaster, while his mother now works for the Home Office. Work was merely the means to fund a good time. “When your dad is into David Bowie, how do you rebel against that? You can’t really. They come to all the gigs. They’ve been in America for the past three weeks. I’m ringing my mum really excited because we’re hanging out with Jim Sheridan, who directed In the Name of the Father, and the Edge from U2, and she said, ‘We’re hanging with Jack White,’ whom they met through a friend of mine. Trumped again!”

Barratt’s father was a Leeds art teacher, his mother an artist later turned businesswoman. “Dad was a bit more strict and academic. Mum would let me do anything I wanted, didn’t mind whether I went to school.” Through his father he became obsessed with Monty Python, went to jazz and Spike Milligan gigs, learnt about sex from his dad’s leatherbound volumes of Penthouse.

Barratt joined bands and assumed he would become a musician (he does all the Boosh’s musical arrangements); Fielding hoped to become an artist (he designed the Boosh book cover and throughout our interview sketches obsessively). Instead they threw their talents into comedy. Barratt: “It is a great means of getting your ideas over instantly.” Fielding: “Yes, it is quite punk in that way.”

Their 1998 Edinburgh Fringe show called The Mighty Boosh was named, obscurely, after a friend’s description of Michael Fielding’s huge childhood Afro: “A mighty bush.” While their double-act banter has an old-fashioned dynamic, redolent of Morecambe and Wise, the show threw in weird characters and a fantasy storyline in which they played a pair of zookeepers. They are very serious about their influences. “Magritte, Rousseau...” says Fielding. “I like Rousseau’s made-up worlds: his jungle has all the things you’d want in a jungle, even though he’d never been in one so it was an imaginary place.”

Eclectic, weird and, crucially, unprepared to compromise their aesthetic sensibilities, it was 2004 before, championed by Steve Coogan’s Baby Cow production company, their first series aired on BBC3. Through repeats and DVD sales the second series, in which the pair have left the zoo and are living above Naboo’s shop, found a bigger audience. Last year the first episode of series three had one million viewers. But perhaps the Boosh’s true breakthrough into mainstream came in June when George Bush visited Belfast and a child presented him with a plant labelled “The Mighty Bush”. Assuming it was a tribute to his greatness, the president proudly displayed it for the cameras, while the rest of Britain tittered.

A Boosh audience these days is quite a mix. In Sheffield the front row is rammed with teenage indie girls, heavy on the eyeliner, who fancy Fielding. But there are children, too: my own sons can recite whole “crimps” (the Boosh’s silly, very English version of rap) word for word. And there are older, respectable types who, when I interview them, all apologise for having such boring jobs. They’re accountants, IT workers, human resources officers and civil servants. But probe deeper and you find ten years ago they excelled at art A level or played in a band, and now puzzle how their lives turned out so square. For them, the Boosh embody their former dreams. And their DIY comedy, shambolic air, the slightly crap costumes, the melding of fantasy with the everyday, feels like something they could still knock up at home.

Indeed, many fans come to gigs in costume. At the Mighty Boosh Festival 15,000 people came dressed up to watch bands and absurdity in a Kent field. And in Sheffield I meet a father-and-son combo dressed as Howard Moon and Bob Fossil – general manager of the zoo – plus a gang of thirty-something parents elaborately attired as Crack Fox, Spirit of Jazz, a granny called Nanageddon, and Amy Housemouse. “I love the Boosh because it’s total escapism,” says Laura Hargreaves, an employment manager dressed as an Electro Fairy. “It’s not all perfect and people these days worry too much that things aren’t perfect. It’s just pure fun.”

But how to retain that appealingly amateur art-school quality now that the Boosh is a mega comedy brand? Noel Fielding is adamant that they haven’t grown cynical, that The Mighty Book of Boosh was a long-term project, not a money-spinner chucked out for Christmas: “There is a lot of heart in what we do,” he says. Barratt adds: “It’s been hard this year to do everything we’ve wanted, to a standard we’re proud of... Which is why we’re worn to shreds.”

Comedy is most powerful in intimate spaces, but the Boosh show, with its huge set, requires major venues. “We’ve lost money every day on the tour,” says Fielding. “The crew and the props and what it costs to take them on the road – it’s ridiculous. Small gigs would lose millions of pounds.”

The live show is a kind of Mighty Boosh panto, with old favourites – Bob Fossil, Bollo, Tony Harrison, etc – coming on to cheers of recognition. But it lacks the escapism to the perfectly conceived world of the TV show. They have told the BBC they don’t want a fourth series: they want a movie. They would also, as with Little Britain USA, like a crack at the States, where they run on BBC America. Clearly the Boosh needs to keep evolving or it will die.

Already other artists are telling Fielding and Barratt to make their money now: “They say this is our time, which is quite frightening.” I recall Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer, who dominated the Nineties with Big Night Out and Shooting Stars. “Yes, they were massive,” says Fielding. “A number one record...” And now Reeves presents Brainiac. “If you have longer-term goals, it’s not scary,” says Barratt. “To me, I’m heading somewhere else – to direct, make films, write stuff – and at the moment it’s all gone mental. I’m sort of enjoying this as an outsider. It was Noel who had this desire to reach more people.”

Indeed, the old cliché that comedy is the new rock’n’roll is closest to being realised in Noel Fielding. Watching him perform the thrash metal numbers in the Boosh live show, he is half ironic comic performer, half frustrated rock god. His heroes weren’t comics but androgynous musicians: Jagger, Bowie, Syd Barrett. (Although he liked Peter Cook’s style and looks.)

“I like clothes and make-up, I like the transformation,” he says. Does it puzzle him that women find this so sexually attractive? “I was reading a book the other day about the New York Dolls and David Johansen was saying that none of them were gay or even bisexual, and that when they started dressing in stilettos and leather pants, women got it straight away with no explanation. But a lot of men had problems. It’s one of those strange things. A man will go, ‘You f***ing queer.’ And you just think, ‘Well, your girlfriend fancies me.’”

The Boosh stopped signing autographs outside stage doors when it started taking two hours a night. At recent book signings up to 1,500 people have shown up, some sleeping overnight in the queue. And on this tour, the Boosh took control of the after-show parties, once run as money-spinners by the promoters, and now show up in person to do DJ slots. I ask if they like to meet their fans, and they laugh nervously.

Fielding: “We have to be behind a fence.”

Barratt: “They try to rip your clothes off your body.”

Fielding: “The other day my girlfriend gave me this ring. And, doing the rock numbers at the end, I held out my hands and the crowd just ripped it off.”

Barratt: “I see it as a thing which is going to go away. A moment when people are really excited about you. And it can’t last.”

He recalls a man in York grabbing him for a photo, saying, “I’d love to be you, it must be so amazing.” And Barratt says he thought, “Yes, it is. But all the while I was trying to duck into this doorway to avoid the next person.” He’s trying to enjoy the Boosh’s moment, knows it will pass, but all the same?

In the hotel bar, a young woman fan has dodged past Danny and comes brazenly over to Fielding. Head cocked attentively like a glossy bird, he chats, signs various items, submits to photos, speaks to her mate on her phone. The rest of the Boosh crew eye her steelily. They know how it will end. “You have five minutes then you go,” hisses one. “I feel really stupid now,” says the girl. It is hard not to squirm at the awful obeisance of fandom. But still she milks the encounter, demands Fielding come outside to meet her friend. When he demurs she is outraged, and Danny intercedes. Fielding returns to his seat slightly unsettled. “What more does she want?” he mutters, reaching for his wine glass. “A skin sample?”

[tokupedia]

Halloween costume ideas 2019: Kamen Rider

Digimon X Kamen Rider: Build Digital Knight form

2019 is the 20th anniversary of Digimon, the lucrative media merchandise machine Bandai has in its arsenal of IPs aside from the toy rights to Kamen Rider and other heroes.

In honor of this milestone, the first costume concept pitch I have centers around the theme of two beings changing into fused components of a more powerful form. Taking Build’s Cross-Z Build movie exclusive fused form design and combining it with a beloved Digimon that also debuted at the cinemas way back at the dawn of the then new millennium, OMNIMON!. 

Alternatively, other Rider/Digimon concept ideas are Kamen Rider Brave Crimson Duke Gamer Level 99, 12 Deva themed Ryuki-type Riders, and a Renamon themed form for Valkyrie. (Yes, I’m biased to favoring Tamers)

Red Woz

IWAE! The Demon King of Time’s story has drawn to a close with a stage show. And in this stage show, we learn there is an alternate timeline where Tsukuyomi became the queen of all space and time and another alternate Woz appears to ensure his timeline comes to pass. The rebooted versions of Showa Riders also appear at some point in the show due to time shenanigans. (The First and Next’s 1, 2 and V3 and Amazons Alpha and Omega)

Red Woz wears what appears to be a twist on an old 1920s theater usher uniform (makes sense since he debuted at a theater stageshow) with black leather zipper shoes and white gloves. All you really need to pull this one off is a vintage theater usher costume, white gloves and some extra clothing material for the coat tails and more gold buttons. Zipper shoes can be optional.

Boot

Boot is another Stage Show character, this time from Fourze. He is essentially a  SOLU alien, like Nadeshiko and much like her has a Driver with only dual switch slots. Boot is interesting as he can copy and assume the form of Rider villains, as he changed into Kazari to fight OOO.  It is unclear what his Driver does, since his limbs have no modules, but perhaps fan expansion can create “Villain Astroswitches” to tie into his copying ability.

Belses Baru-Ba (The first Rose Gurongi from the 2015 Kuuga manga)

During Riku’s time as Kuuga, the Gurongi’s Gegeru murder games were judged by Belses, the predecessor of Ra-Baruba-De. She serves not only to give a better idea of what kind of hellish war Riku was fighting, but also a glimpse into what Rose-type Gurongi are capable of. Belses was a wicked woman and her thorny vines and razor sharp claws lay waste to any human or Gurongi who dared to challenge her.

The costume pitch for this is something a bit racy but simple. The core of it consisting of a large rose in the hair with a metal collar, bikini top and side armor (seemingly leather based on the shine of it, but tweaks can be made), a “petal” skirt with a loose fitting belt and long knee high boots with razor sharp heels and toes. Add a bit of monster make up to the hands and arms,”thorn” hair extensions and a rose tattoo on the forehead to make a costume that brings a sense of fear and pain!

Showa Style Heisei Riders

Credit to DeviantArtist Azrael1983 for this brilliant idea. Azrael asked the question: What if the Heisei Kamen Riders we know were made in the Showa era when Shotaro Ishinomori was alive? What would they look like?

Well, the first obvious rule of this concept according to his visuals is to accept the limitations of the time period, the costumes look somewhat like their prime counterparts do, but on the tight budget of live TV shows of the 1970s and ‘80s rather than the merchandise fueled multimillion yen/dollar franchise with CGI and 3D printed costume sculpts of today. Another thing to take into consideration is the tech of the era, Ex. Azrael’s version of Double operates on floppy disks! 

The final thing to consider is Mr. Ishinomori and people who worked under him such as Masato Hayase, Mitsuru Suguya and Toshio “Sugar” Sato and how they went about hero designs. Its best to study concept art and the printed works of the manga king to get a general grasp of his visual style to form your own Showa concepts of your favorite Rider. 

We’ve already seen what happens with the reverse of Showa Riders being updated to Heisei standards with The First and The Next Reboot films, Decade’s Riderman and Amazons, but its alright to experiment there too on Showa Riders that haven’t been given the update treatment.

Dark Riderman

From the Pachinko game Kamen Rider: Full Throttle, Dark Riderman is a reformatted Rhinoceros Tank (aka the Evil Santa guy from Kamen Rider V3) who now has the powers of Riderman. 

Continuing a tradition I started a while back, the yearly list contains at least one evil variation of the Legendary Seven. You will need a makeshift Riderman costume, a tattered purple piece of cloth for your muffler of villainy, a rubber toy cobra held up by a coat hanger or metal wire and a skull prop for molding the “teeth” of the Perfecter of your helmet.

Bozuzoku/Sukeban Female Riders

My final entry for Riders in 2019 is a simple one. Don a leather jacket, makeup, a female Rider belt, get a painted “metal” baseball bat or faux metal pipe and an attitude and be the meanest justice biker gals and others on the road! 

This came from an idea that somewhere in the Rider multiverse, all the female Riders had a single world where they all existed and none of their male counterparts existed ,living in a bad part of Tokyo in the 1980s. Evil organizations are street gangs, old men are pushing back against a changing world and youth is blazing for change!

[askyancy]

That ask meme thingys

I dont’s wants to spam the main thing so we’s repostin it  Here’s a link to the original  https://askyancy.tumblr.com/post/188857885461/get-to-know-me-uncomfortably-well

1. What is you middle name? Daniel 2. How old are you? 30 3. When is your birthday? June 28  - 4:15pm 4. What is your zodiac sign? Cancer 5. What is your favorite color? Blood Red 6. What’s your lucky number? 4 7. Do you have any pets? Not anymore. But I’s used to have a cat fer like 15 seconds? Her name was Flancy 8. Where are you from? Ohio! 9. How tall are you? 5′10 10. What shoe size are you? 10 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 7 buts they’s keep em locked away from me 12. What was your last dream about? I hads a nightmare.. ah.. somet’in about escapin and upsettin de guards with someone handsome..or beautiful..or both I dont remembers 13. What talents do you have? I can sing I s’poses!  14. Are you psychic in any way? Psh no 15. Favorite song? I dont wanna be free Popular - Wicked 16. Favorite movie? Robin Hood Men In Tights 17. Who would be your ideal partner? Oh  er I er- I dunno... someone... someone who gets me youse know? 18. Do you want children? I er... n-no.. I mean yeah I do’s but.. I aints a good father 19. Do you want a church wedding? I don’ts think the church woulds want someone like me in der. Nah somewhere on a beach or somet’ins 20. Are you religious? Uhm.. not reallys.. God aint done a lot fer someone like me ya know? 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? A few times yeah. Lot o long stories there aheh.. maybe anoder time! 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Nah course not..... not at aaaaaallls.... not once! Totally not in prison cos I broke any o dem law things...  23. Have you ever met any celebrities? I er.. not reallys?  24. Baths or showers? Shower! I could shower fer hours! aint payin no water bill so why nots! 25. What color socks are you wearing? White ones.. all we gets in here 26. Have you ever been famous? Ey er actually supposedlys I was on the tumblr fandom thingy once! That was nice! 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Me- ah ..nah.. I wouldnt wants all that. Nah.. nice quiet life in prison is fer me! 28. What type of music do you like? Musicals mostly! I er posted  lil mini playlist recently youse might be able to find it! 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Eh.. aheh... I er... yeah... ahaheh... I’ll leave that up to youses for youses imaginations~ 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 16 31. What position do you usually sleep in? Lil spoons! 32. How big is your house? I means it’s pretty big! Prison gotta house a lotta roomies youse know? 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Dey serves us dry cereals or oatmeal 34. Have you ever fired a gun? Shotgun,  Franchi SPAS-12  12 gauge. 6 shots in total. 3 fatal shots. 1 miss 35. Have you ever tried archery? Nah I aint goods at no stringy thingys theys get all tangled 36. Favorite clean word? Bourgeoisie  37. Favorite swear word? The U bomb 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 6 days 39. Do you have any scars? Ah, couple on my left hand from a knife, one on my right leg from a bullet and I gots a …few more on my back but ah.. I donts like to talks about those ones. Youse understand. 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? If I knews if I had a secret Admoirer it wouldnts be a secret no mores! 41. Are you a good liar? ah no.. I got a lotta tells 42. Are you a good judge of character? terrible! But ah! I always trys to make amends youse know? 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Ah a few, can do my dayds, New Joysey, Bahstan and New Yoyrk 44. Do you have a strong accent? Peoples always be tellin me I do 45. What is your favorite accent? I likes dem scottish types... ah and dat ole southern drawls good a good tingle to its! 46. What is your personality type? .... I er... I dunnos... Nice??? but like... tough guys too? Youse make that call 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? My shoeses! Dese is Itallian! 48. Can you curl your tongue? yeth 49. Are you an innie or an outie? I’m an innie! Prison life is where I lives int no outtie life fer me! 50. Left or right handed? I’s actually ambidestrous! 51. Are you scared of spiders? n...no...... why is der one near by? Youse gotta get it! 52. Favorite food? Gumbo. period. 53. Favorite foreign food? Probably one o dose indian curries! 54. Are you a clean or messy person? I likes to keep a clean cell  55. Most used phrased? Youses know? 56. Most used word? Youses 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 5-10 minutes... unless its a show day then I takes like 3 hours. Gotta look poifect  58. Do you have much of an ego? Peoples be tellin’ me lately that I’m an ego nows but I dont gets it. I aint tryna be above anyones else ya know? I’s just out here tryna be me 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? I licks them ;P 60. Do you talk to yourself? Me nah... Why’s would I talk to myselfs? Not like I dont gots a whole gang to talks to. Not like I’m locked aways from them right now whiles in Solitary... Not likes I fill the silence in ‘ere with false conversations ....  61. Do you sing to yourself? Always! thoughs there aint much privacy in ‘ere so’s a lot o people get to hear it too 62. Are you a good singer? Peoples tells me so! But I’s still got a lot to works on 63. Biggest Fear? .......... Abandonment  64. Are you a gossip? What? Nah... I woulds never betray someone like that. Only cruel cold hearts sons o bitches do’s that. Oh! Dat reminds me youse should hear what I heard about Shithole Hank the other day. So gets this --- 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Chicago! Best thing! 66. Do you like long or short hair? Short hair! Slides better through the fingers! 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Wells I coulds but youse might call it cheatin but here goes https://youtu.be/MSvJ9SN8THE?t=34s 68. Favorite school subject? Theatre o course! 69. Extrovert or Introvert? I er I’m an introvert actually 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Sadlys no... Always wanted to go see one o dem coral reefs wid de fishes! 71. What makes you nervous? ....the...the Ward’n 72. Are you scared of the dark? All dese nooks n crannies deys dayrk down there I gets used to it But afraid o de Dayrk..... de Dayrk scares me... 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Only if its a common t’ing and theys not notice it on there own! 74. Are you ticklish? Yes but dont go tellin nobodys! 75. Have you ever started a rumor? Me! No! Course not! Startin’ rumors is the lowest o de low... spreadin em dough? I heards this one that Tiny once ate a guards arm.. like..de whole t’ing. I’d honestly say dat wasn’t true but... I mean.. it’s Tiny... Dey’s strong and terrifyin if youse get on their bad side! 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Me nah... I ain’ts authoritive like  77. Have you ever drank underage? No. and I don’ts endorse it eithers 78. Have you ever done drugs? No. We’s very against that at Happy Trails. We’s is about rehabilitation. 79. Who was your first real crush? Ah nice guy in my high school called Illinois buts then..everyone had a crush on him. I wonder how his adventurin craze is doin him 80. How many piercings do you have? Ah just my ears 81. Can you roll your Rs?“ rr....rrrrrlbllr... RRBLRLBLRRGRLR...... RRRRRRRRRRR there we gos 82. How fast can you type? I dunno’s how fast do I’s respond to youses akses 83. How fast can you run? Only ever got caught once! and dey cheated with bullets 84. What color is your hair? Black and dark as night babye~ 85. What color is your eyes? Brown like the muddy pools of-.... er.... chocolate? 86. What are you allergic to? Rabbits and kidney beans...and hard labor 87. Do you keep a journal? Yeah but dats fer my eyes only capiche!? 88. What do your parents do? Nothin anymore.....  Me Dayd always thoughts he was so good. always mocking me n stuff.. Thought he was all big bein a dental surgeon! And mom! Oh mom was just as bayd. Thinkin she was all better than me! Providin me with cuddles n loves and hugs n stuff tellin me to chase my dreams WELL WHOS DREAMIN NOW MA! Youse aint nursin nobody no mores! 89. Do you like your age? I dont like dat its gettin older 90. What makes you angry? Not a lotta t’ings but if youse be disrespectin mah fam’ly youse is gonna get it! 91. Do you like your own name? Yeah I likes it. had it a while now and it suits me youse know? 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? ah... Not reallys I means.. thats a joint decision youse know? 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? ah... thats up to the kid to decide when they’s ready 94. What are you strengths? I’s a good team member me thinks? 95. What are your weaknesses? I er... I gots a lot o’ flaws... 96. How did you get your name? ah wells it started with the nickname fancy pants and den dey took the first letter of my old name, a dead name i donts use it no mores, and it became Yancy Pants and den got shortened ta just Yancy 97. Were your ancestors royalty? Mine? psh.. nah! youse kiddin? For all I knows my ancestor was a pirate or somet’in 98. Do you have any scars? I gots -wait... I answered dis one already! 99. Color of your bedspread? Dark blue with some nice white sheets! 100. Color of your room? Grey... like every other wall in dis place

[metawitches]

  The original TV series Roswell (not to be confused with the new CW show Roswell, New Mexico) ran for 3 seasons on The WB (seasons 1&2) and UPN (season 3), from 1999-2002, for a total of 61 episodes. The show was very loosely based on the YA book series Roswell High, written by Melinda Metz. Jason Katims (who later went on to create Friday Night Lights and Parenthood) created Roswell and stayed on as showrunner for all three seasons.

Roswell takes places in the real life small town of the same name, in southern New Mexico, where a mysterious crash in 1947 has become legendary in the decades since it happened. The alien spaceship crashed out in the desert, leading to rumors and guesses about what really happened, which quickly led to a government cover up. Roswell houses a military base which took part in an investigation of the ship and secret alien remains. The town itself has embraced its notoriety as an alien and UFO Mecca, with businesses and events throughout the town sporting space themes and catering to alien-hunting tourists.

At least one adult alien survived the crash and was captured. It was treated brutally and subjected to inhuman experiments, supposedly in the name of science. The alien eventually escaped, leaving a trail of violent retaliation in its wake. It then went underground, disappearing for decades, but leaving the institutional memory of its existence and its ability to harm humans behind.

Several pods, containing the embryos of alien children, also survived the crash and were safely moved to a cave by the adult survivors. In the 80s, three seemingly human children, Max Evans, Isabel Evans, and Michael Guerin, came out of the pods. They looked like they were about 6 years old, but they couldn’t speak, and had no memories. They wandered out into the desert together, but were separated.

Max and Isabel were found by a married couple, Philip and Diane Evans, who adopted them. Michael ended up in abusive foster homes, but he stayed as close to Isobel and Max as he could. Together, they discovered their powers and figured out that they must be aliens. They resolved to keep their true identities secret from everyone but each other. The danger and the secrets helped them bond and form especially close sibling relationships.

Max always had a crush on Liz Parker, but mostly watched her from afar. They were friends, and she noticed him staring at her sometimes, but neither made any further moves. Until there was a shooting at her father’s restaurant, where she was a waitress.

The shots were unexpected, and Liz was down before anyone understood what was happening. Almost everyone ran from the diner, but Max stayed to check on her. He realized that the bullet must have hit an artery in her abdomen, and she was going to bleed out before help could arrive.

He had to make a choice. Let Liz die, or keep his secret? He couldn’t let the girl he’d always loved die just because he was afraid of something that might or might not happen. He healed her, then pretended that a bottle of ketchup had broken on her and ran out of the diner.

That’s the start of everything. The Sheriff is from an alien hunting family, and he becomes suspicious of Max. Gradually Liz’s closest friends, Maria and Alex, also learn the secret, and the Scooby gang is complete. Liz’s ex-boyfriend, Kyle, doesn’t want to give her up without a fight, so Max has some competition. Various other humans and aliens help and harm them, becoming part of their adventures.

Season 1 is low-key, focusing on the kids as high school students and friends, keeping their issues close to home and largely within the show’s cast. This was Jason Katims’ vision for the show, especially the first 13 episodes. Those first 13 are incredible, and I wouldn’t blame anyone who stops there. The network started interfering after that, but season 1 still mostly makes sense, I think. The biggest change is the introduction of Emilie de Ravin late in the season, as a fourth alien, Tess, who can’t be trusted.

In Season 2, the show reinvented itself, bringing in new characters and a race of alien villains called the Skins. The characters forgot that they were still in high school and became alien fighters. It seemed like they were more concerned with past events on their home planet than current events in their own lives on Earth. But they had really great hair, makeup and clothes. And the writing was as witty and heartfelt as ever.

In season 3, Roswell changed networks, and reinvented itself again. This time, it went from a cracky, brightly-colored, alien version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer to a darker, more intense, more mature version of itself. There wasn’t supposed to be a time jump, but the characters seemed to age five years. They were facing more adult situations such as marriage, divorce, children, leaving home for good, and when and how much to sacrifice themselves for others.

Along with these adult situations came attempts to add more nuances to the characters, which didn’t always work. Tess benefitted from being softened and redeemed, but Max experienced character assassination from being given a dark, obsessive side. This season made the least sense of the three seasons, but there were still some great episodes and great moments. And great looks and great songs.

As I mentioned, Jason Katims saw the show as Dawson’s Creek, with aliens, while the networks wanted Roswell to compete with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Jason Katims has never done scifi or supernatural before or since, and I don’t think he was prepared for the level of detailed and consistent world building it would require.

He wanted the show to be a character driven drama (similar to his other shows) where the aliens don’t use their powers much. To him, the powers were just supposed to be an occasional plot device. This goes against traditional storytelling wisdom and common sense. You don’t get your backers and your fans excited about aliens, then forget to show the aliens.

Ron Moore, veteran of the Star Trek franchise who went on to create Battlestar Galactica and Outlander, was brought in for the second and third seasons to help improve the ratings. But the production was already too far adrift, and had lost too much of its audience.

Roswell had a killer soundtrack when it aired. The original soundtrack remains on episodes aired in syndication, but many of the songs have been replaced on the DVDs. However, the songs from important moments do remain intact on the DVDs. The songs used in the episodes and as the theme song (Dido’s Here with Me) became hits. Both Jason Katims and Ron Moore are known for giving each of their shows a unique “look”, and Roswell is no different. It’s beautifully shot and designed.

The characters are varied, funny and interesting. Women are well represented and aren’t held back because they’re female. There could be more diversity, but Roswell was made before there was pressure on studios to diversify their casts. At least there are a couple of regulars who are Hispanic, are a recurring character who is Native American.

The cast of Roswell included: Shiri Appleby as Liz Parker, Jason Behr as Max Evans, Katherine Heigl as Isabel Evans, Majandra Delfino as Maria DeLuca, Brendan Fehr as Michael Guerin, Colin Hanks as Alex Whitman, Nick Wechsler as Kyle Valenti, William Sadler as Sheriff Jim Valenti, Emilie de Ravin as Tess Harding, and Adam Rodríguez as Jesse Ramirez (season 3).

Despite its issues, there are many great episodes and moments in Roswell, when the writing, the acting and the production all came together to create something special.

So, in lieu of a grade, we put Roswell in the category of Brilliant But Flawed.

Favorite Episodes:

Season 1: Pilot (101), Heat Wave (109), The Convention (113), Blind Date (114), The White Room 121)

Season 2: Summer of ’47 (204), The End of the World (205), A Roswell Christmas Carol (210)

Season 3: A Tale of Two Parties (310), I Married an Alien (311)

  Images courtesy of 20th Century Fox Television, Jason Katims Productions and Regency Television.

Quick Review of Roswell: Entire Original Series The original TV series Roswell (not to be confused with the new CW show Roswell, New Mexico) ran for 3 seasons on The WB (seasons 1&2) and UPN (season 3), from 1999-2002, for a total of 61 episodes.

[italicwatches]

Comic Girls - Episode 02

Why do I let myself stare into the abyss. …Anyways, anime. Anime is a good distraction. It’s Comic Girls, episode 02! Here we GO!

-It’s a new day at the dorm. The landlady is handling a chat with Kaos’s editor, who seems to be getting pegged into the motherly role for our little pink moeblob. And she can confirm that everything’s going great between all the girls, they’re getting along wonderfully…

-As Koyume puts Kaos’s long hair up into some twin buns. So what’s the over-under on the whole damn dorm turning Kaos into their doll slash mascot? But, they’re going out on a trip today! And not alone either, they’ll have Ruki and Tsuba—

-TSUBASA HAS ARRIVED! FULL SERIOUS MODE ACHIEVED! FEEL HER MANLY CHUUNI CHARM, YE LESBIANS, AND TREMBLE!

-Ruki quietly pulls her idiot roommate back to make her put on normal clothes. But even normal clothes still have Koyume swept up in her manly chuuni charm.

-Opening! Yep there are those lilies. If anyone turns out to really be a bear, I called it now.

-So where’s the gang going? Into Shinjuku, into the city proper! Into the kind of place where the trains are packed and the crowds are thick! So thick that Kaos finds herself being swept up in the sea of people, unable to escape…! At least until Ruki starts hauling people together. Ruki and Tsubasa, and Kaos quickly realizes all that damn manly charm Tsubasa has.

-Sidenote, just so we’re clear, I’m not the only one who’s just calling her Kaos all the time. Everyone is. We have heard her real name all of once, and I’m not sure what it is without looking it up. She’s just Kaos, through and through.

-Anyways, where do they end up first? Well, Kaos wants to go to a big proper book store…And woooowwww, this is a big place. Also I’m about 80% sure the fictional books the girls call out, like Super Exciting Paradise and Pretty Highness, are shoujo-ai books at the least. But that’s not all they find…Tsubasa’s latest work, the very same series they were just assisting on a few days ago, is on the shelf! And with a popup ad and the cover displayed! Holy shit they’re in the presence of not just an impossible amount of manly charm, but a GOD.

-So Koyume has to buy, like, five copies. As does Kaos. Even though Tsubasa has multiple copies of every volume to be given away as gifts. But you’re not going full otaku, or full hard crush, unless you’re spending money you don’t have to feed the machine. But eventually, they have their things…

-So what’s the next step? To a super trendy cafe! Where Kaos freaks out because only super cool high school girls can go in there. One, none of them are cool. Two, you’re a high school girl. Three, chill. Also Ruki insisted on lunch because if she doesn’t, Tsubasa will burn through all of her blood sugar at the art supply store and get dizzy. Again. So shut up and eat your damn crepe.

-And when the crepes arrive, Kaos doesn’t know how to handle something so cute, in a place full of nothing but trendy cute sexy young women in tiny miniskirts…Until finally Koyume feeds her the dang crepe.

-Finally to the art supply store and the meat we came here for. Kaos is freaking out at the density of the place. But, first step for her is she wants a full set of things she’d need as an assistant to be able to help everyone else out on the fly. Necessities it is! Forward MARCH! And then Tsubasa sees something she wants and she’s just gone, lost in her own fan behavior. Enthusiastic Tsubasa is kind of adorable, by the way.

-Then she picks up a feathered quill pen and sure, it looks cool, but it just seems impractical…

-And then Koyume says she looks cool with it and Tsubasa immediately goes FULL SERIOUS. Four-Quill Dip Style! And now she’s going to buy them all! Plus a ton of ink and new dip pens, as Koyume keeps trying to imitate her…And Tsubasa tries to encourage her to find her own path, but Koyume is most firmly motivated by, well, being like her Tsubasa-sama. It’s all that manly charm.

-So, quick sidenote, let’s explain fancy pens! While the analog comic artist has a lot of different options, there are essentially three major camps worth discussing for doing ink lines. These can be summed up in tech pens, brush and fountain pens, and dip pens. Some of this might get covered in the episode itself, but I love talking about stupid shit, so.

-Tech pens, or technical pens, started life as engineer’s tools before artists found them; you might be familiar with the Sakura Micron line if you’re a fucking weeb like myself. These are noted for a small, semi-flexible tip that gives a very consistent line width, and of course have an internal ink reservoir. Their greatest asset, this consistency, is also their chief weakness: A 0.5 millimeter tech pen is basically always going to put out a 0.5 millimeter line no matter which way you turn it or press it. This is fine, even preferable for more basic linework, but if you want to do more complex stuff…

-Then you need to consider brush and fountain pens. These are very different tools, but I’ve bundled them together to talk about them since they carry some similar advantages and disadvantages. Both still use an internal ink reservoir, though whether it’s pre-installed in a disposable or can be refilled varies. A brush pen uses an actual, quite flexible brush tip of I waaaaannna say a firm foam material, but don’t quite me on that, while a fountain pen uses a metal nib against a ribbed feed. The chief advantage here is flexibility; because firmness and angle matter, you can vary line width from stroke to stroke, or even within the stroke, by controlling your pen. The downside, naturally, is that you have to provide that control. Getting a line to stay at that 0.5 millimeter width the tech pen offers so easily, can be real hard with a brush pen, and not that much easier with a fountain pen. You don’t have as much flex with the fountain pen, but the size and shape of the nib give you a lot of control over like shape: Slightly modified forms, with a sharp-cornered square tip, are standard for Western style calligraphy, to give you an idea of what you can do with one.

-Lastly, and most simply thanks to all the previous stuff, are dip pens and straight-up brushes! These ultimately feed into the same idea as the fountain pen and brush pen, with one key difference: No ink reservoir. You have to dip into ink each time for your lines. This carries some advantages and disadvantages of its own, but it mostly feeds into the idea of control. Dip pens require very little commitment to a single shape for very long, as well as letting you do things to effect through how much or little ink you allow to fill the feed. All of this goes even further with the brush, though I’m gonna level with you, I don’t know of any manga artists who just use a brush like they’re doing fuckin’ sumi-e. I’m sure they exist, but they’re not likely to be found in the Jump-ass battle manga I typically read.

-Oh, and as ever, don’t quote me on this stuff I’m not an expert support your local library okay BACK TO THE SHOW

-So Tsubasa’s showing how you can use an overfull dip pen to create a really cool blood splatter effect by literally splattering the ink across the page, which is a skill Koyume wouldn’t even need while doing shoujo manga…And then Kaos sees their art pieces, from Tsubasa’s stern manly elf boy to the adorable shoujo girl from Koyume that he’s protecting…Aaand the best she can do is one of her cute chibi little characters in a very rough rendition of a knight’s armor, cheering them on.

-So where else are they going? To the screen tone section! Ruki is all gushing about new flower designs, which she inevitably ends up buying a bunch of. Koyume is imagining using them for cute flowing dresses on her girls. Ruki is imagining using them for sexy underwear. …Well, Ruki will be able to keep using the same pack for a lot longer, then, at least.

-Another aside while we’re talking craft, what are screen tones? You may have heard of them in previous manga-making shows and books, but the idea is really quite simple! They’re literally a pattern printed onto a very thin translucent sheet with a modest adhesive backing. When working in analog, you can get complex patterns easily by cutting out the rough shape of whatever you’re filling out of a matching screen tone sheet, adhering it down over your work, then using an x-acto knife to gently trace over the actual line edges and peel off the stuff you don’t need. You can easily recognize screen tone use because they tend to stay in the midtones, and are very consistent, being mass-produced and printed. Their most common uses are for complex symbolic backgrounds, and clothing patterns, but there are plenty of more complex and elaborate uses various artists have come up with!

-Back to the show. Ruki finds some cool bubbly background tones that Koyume can use…While Tsubasa’s going for the super-contrasty black and white lightning at FULL INTENSITY. And Kaos is buying lots of grim dark spoopy shadows. As for Ruki herself…She needs lots of smooth coverage for all the nudity coming up in her next work. Which means bubbly splotches, as Kaos asks what they’re for, and oh god she can’t admit the truth to this tiny innocent fetus.

-And then Koyume finds the cool patterned masking tape! …It’s patterned masking tape. Washi tape. If anyone you know goes to a craft store regularly or has a Pinterest account, you have seen this stuff. Tape in general is useful for keeping things firmly in place while working on your manuscript in an analog world, and, well, the cute patterns are because they are all teenaged girls. Mostly, Ruki ends up despairing when they start trying to pick sexy patterns for her, not some cute bubbly thing like everyone else got. I’m sorry, Ruki, but you have a reputation now.

-Also Tsubasa hears some girls debating pens and goes over to be all Cool and Manly and Get Their Numbers. …Okay mostly she goes over to offer help from a position of experience but I’m not wrong. So soon she leads them to some useful supplies for starting off drawing manga, and they’re all swept up in Tsubasa’s manly charm and Ruki’s gentle guidance and see themselves in Koyume and you can grow up to draw manga someday too, little pink haired moeblob!

-I’m sorry, Kaos.

-I mean, fuck, what else do you say to that, right?

-Eventually they can actually buy their stuff…Well, Koyume can buy most of her stuff. She’s a little shy after the books and the crepe. She’s gonna have to get rid of all of this cute masking tape…

-So Tsubasa picks it up to buy instead. And Kaos’s, too. A gift for both of you as thanks for the help the other day. Both girls are even more smitten than before. I didn’t think that was possible, but here we are.

-By the time they’re on the way back, it’s late in the day, and Kaos feels motivated to push even harder…Aaaand then they end up using the entire night chatting, and it’s time to get a few hours of sleep in the grim morning…

-When Tsubasa turns the TV on and the morning news is talking about the end of Golden Week.

-They have school.

-In like an hour.

-FUCK

-Episode 02: “Back to School”

-And Kaos gets to try on her new high school uniform, and she feels like she’s a real manga protag—

-And then she sees Ruki in her perfect setup and Tsubasa with her gives-no-fucks jacket and she realizes she’s just a background character next to these cool stylish girls she wants to smooch. …Oh and Koyume does the fucking shoujo manga toast-mouth run.

-Okay, to actual school! Where…

-I should have expected this.

-Tsubasa is the prince of the school.

-ofcourse.gif

-Also that cool splatter pattern on her shirt? …She spilled ink on it and just let it dry. How do you do this? Anyways, Tsubasa is the cool prince, and Ruki is the unapproachable stylish onee…sama…People are totally starting to realize she does something sketchy. Ruki, this is gonna be a lot less bad if they know you draw naughty manga than if they think you’re going and playing hostess to creepy old men or something.

-Oh and it comes out that Ruki and Tsubasa are the same age as our rookies. I’m sorry, they’re not older and more mature, those are just stress lines from the grim reality of a working mangaka lifestyle. Also Koyume is totally enthralled by the sexy slightly-stern homeroom teacher! So enthralled she puts a bow on her. And Kaos just wants to be scolded by the beautiful teacher lady. Truly you are Ruki’s apprentice.

-And then it turns out that while Ruki and Tsubasa are in the same class as Kaos, Koyume is in a different class. Alas, poor Koyume, no stern beautiful teacher lady for you. And that’s when Kaos realizes she hasn’t used her real name in so long she’s doubting her ability to write and pronounce it. She’s been going by Kaos around everyone. Everywhere. And people are staring. Trendy beautiful high school girls are staring, at her, with doubt in their eyes. So this, isn’t, ideal…But she finally pulls herself together despite the nervousness. That kid’s a real mess.

-Especially when she realizes she brought her manga pen case and not her school pen case. So instead of mechanical pencils and ballpoint pens, it’s dip pens, fat black markers and a screen tone pressing tool. …Well shit. And then people notice and Kaos cracks like an egg. If I hadn’t wanted to get a shot of each character for an episode…And then girls start asking her getting-to-know-you questions, which include her hobbies.

-So what are Kaos’s non-manga-drawing hobbies? She ingests tons of otaku media full of cute waifus and collects their slightly ecchi bishoujo figurines. But that’s not something you can say out loud. And the questions keep coming and Kaos just straight up faints. Which means a trip to the nurse’s office…And Koyume coming to check on her, before being dragged off by her new normal friends to get lunch. She’s already gotten friends. Alas, poor Kaos.

-At least you’ve got your fellow weirdos. But, yeah, Kaos suffers from social anxiety. I know these feelings all too well, even if they got expressed rather differently due to my own circumstances. Also when Ruki offers to get her moved closer to them in class, and Kaos’s look of appreciation just breaks Ruki as she has to keep herself from doing things to this sweet innocent zygote. …It doesn’t work very well.

-But Tsubasa’s advice is also that you don’t need to worry nearly so much about actually talking to people, making tons of friends, as you do about observing them…Learning from them. And that really hits home for Kaos, who’s been struggling with how to portray Normal High School Girls…Oh and Tsubasa’s advice is rounded off with her big buff bad guy sketch she’s been working on the whole time. You’re absurd.

-At the end of the schoolday, Koyume immediately comes and clings to her sweet little Kaos…And also she’s immediately made friends and had chats with girls who have actual boyfriends. Tsubasa and Ruki quietly despair at their own lack of success in love. Just steal these two rookies into the night, it’ll be fine. Mostly fine. It’ll work out. The law will never catch you.

-So, back to the dorm? Back to the dorm. When they run into…A stray kitty! TAKE THE KITTY HOME DO IT NOW. I DEMAND IT. And Kaos gets all the kitties. Except for one scared little kitty in the distance, so nervous, even as it lets her pick it up…She knows this fear, you sweet precious creature! KEEP THE CAT.

-Credits!

She better keep that cat.

And hey, another huge log. I blame the amount of setup, and also the amount of time we spent talking about craft materials. Next time should be more room to loosen up since we can broaden out to scene-level recap more. In theory. We’ll see what happens in episode THREE of Comic Girls! Wait for it!

[aion-rsa]

Riverdale Season 5 Episode 4 Review – Chapter 80: Purgatorio

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

Riverdale reinvents itself as the fifth season properly gets underway.

This RIVERDALE review contains spoilers.

Riverdale Season 5 Episode 4

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“To be honest, it doesn’t even feel like Riverdale anymore.”

You can say that again Archie.

Following three episodes originally intended for last year and a seven-year time jump, Riverdale‘s fifth season gets well and truly underway with an installment designed not so much with shaking up the status quo but reinventing it completely. To borrow the name of a Flaming Lips song — you just know NYC writer’s block-stricken Jughead listens to lots of the band’s output — suddenly everything has changed.

In the near decade since he was last home, Archie has been through hell fighting in an unnamed conflict in which he feels responsible for one of his fellow soldiers losing a leg. He has dreams that mix battle imagery with the formally idyllic existence he had in high school. (At least that’s what I think we’re supposed to feel here, even though Archie’s teen years were fraught with bear attacks and attempted murders aplenty but I digress). The point being that Archie sees Riverdale, despite its obvious flaws, as a safe haven. Always one to embrace a cliche though, he quickly learns that you can’t go home again. Riverdale is now just as dangerous as his overseas battle. It wasn’t a nightmare he had, it was a premonition.

Ordered to run Riverdale High School’s ROTC program, Archie comes home is quickly brought up to speed by Toni — pregnant and running the reborn White Wyrm out of the former space of La Bonne Nuit. Lawlessness prevails throughout town, leaving Riverdale largely empty with the exception of those who are too poor or proud to try to restart elsewhere. The city is without hope. Mayhem reigns. Is Archie Batman now? God I hope so.

Responsible for the community’s downfall is, you guessed it, Hiram Lodge. Without the influence of Hermione or Veronica to keep his worst instincts in check, Hiram has become the villain he has always longed to be. (He’s enlisted Reggie to be his right hand man, making that character the closest to his pain-in-the-ass comic book counterpart to date). Some murky dialogue vaguely explains that Hiram’s wrongdoing is connected to his long-gestating SoDale real estate development, but the specifics don’t matter. What does is that Mr. Lodge is in power like never before, and all of Riverdale is suffering as a result.

Meanwhile at Quantico, FBI trainee Betty is also haunted by her recent past. While pursuing the hilariously named Trash Bag Killer, she didn’t wait for backup — becoming the killer’s captive before he escaped in the process. Her loving partner — let’s call him Molder for now, Mad magazine style — is worried that she isn’t dealing with the trauma of her experience, as is her therapist. But soon she too is called back home to deal with what we think is a crisis but is really just a very sweet thing. More on that in a few minutes.

We catch up with New Yorker Veronica, who is married to real estate tycoon Chadwick Gekko (Chris Mason, portraying a character from Katy Keene that Reid Prebenda originated). Apparently she used to be the “she wolf of Wall Street” until she lost her mojo after being involved in a near-fatal helicopter accident with Chad. Since then, she’s been secretly working in an upscale jewelry store that let’s her take advantage of the smart business acumen she frequently demonstrated during her high school years. But when she sells a Glamorege egg that Chadwick gave to her, it’s clear that their relationship is more than just a little fractured.

Also in the Big Apple is Jughead, and he’s just full on skeezy now. With dubious facial hair and a penchant for sleeping with fans, this version of Jughead is easily the most disturbing new version of one of the series’ core four. We learn that his first book, the S.E. Hinton meets Pop Tate’s Chok’lit Shoppe pastiche The Outcasts was a mega success that made him a fleeting media darling. But now Jughead has severe writer’s block…not to mention debt collectors literally pounding at his door and toxic boyfriend tendencies we see him display briefly. Basically he sucks. If anyone can use a priority realignment it’s him. Fortunately, he too gets a call beckoning him home.

Once the gang is back together in Riverdale, for Pop Tate’s retirement party!, awww, we get an update on Cheryl. She has successfully rebuilt Thornhill and rehabilitated the Blossom family name over the past seven years…with a cost. She still feels cursed by her family’s misdeeds and spurns Toni’s attempts to reconcile and instead chooses to live as a recluse. (I mean, for at least the remainder of this episode).

Finally reunited with all of friends, Archie is determined to enlist their help in saving the soul of Riverdale. Not that any of them seem too happy to join this crusade. But the episode doesn’t dwell on their responses as it is too busy establishing a new mystery — a murderous trucker is on the loose. And our heroes are the only one who can stop him. Obviously.

This episode is a very typical one in that it bombards the viewer with new information. True, it doesn’t feel like Riverdale as we know it, but that’s a good thing. After a previous season that was a bit middling, I am more than supportive of this quasi reboot happening here. The series has been renewed for a sixth season, so it’s likely that it will find it’s new rhythm over the course of the upcoming installments and a new normal will settle in. For now though, there’s a lot of possibility here. Riverdale‘s biggest mystery right now? Where it will go next.

Riverdale Roundup

• Along with Saving Private Ryan, the nightmare that starts this episode is also a reference to the excellent Archie 1941 miniseries — which explored how World War II impacted Riverdale and its characters.

• Since Archie and Betty are now both experiencing PTSD, will their shared trauma bond them together?

• I absolutely believe that each of these characters would return to Riverdale to bid farewell to Pop Tate, given how important his shop has been in each of their lives.

• Let’s hear it for more screen time for Vanessa Morgan’s Toni Topaz! Choni forever! (That baby bump was real by the way, she gave birth to her first child last week).

• Archie reads Ernest Hemingway’s A Farewell to Arms, in case any of you were worried that the series’ fondness for anachronisms would be lost during the seven year time jump. Also, Archie being able to read is canon!

• Even though Katy Keene is long-cancelled, it’s nice to see that show’s title character (and her employer, Lacy’s) get referenced here.

• As an Archie comics diehard fan, I am incensed that the show has ditched his iconic whoopee hat. Yet I have a feeling by the time this season ends we will witness him throwing it back on in an effort to reclaim the artistic power that his former self possessed.

• Kevin and Fangs are established as still being together, with the former working at Riverdale High. Alice’s current whereabouts are unknown. I hope Vegas has been rehomed.

• In case Betty’s Silence of the Lambs parallels were a tad too understated for your taste, her therapist’s name is Dr. Starling. And if someone doesn’t sing “Goodbye Horses” this season I will be very upset.

• The FBI waited seven years to dismantle the two-person (one of whom wasn’t even a real agent) Riverdale field office? Actually, given government inefficiency, this sounds just about right.

• Veronica and Chadwick’s helicopter accident happened while they were on their way to “Marsha’s Vineyard,” because apparently Riverdale 2.0 now does fake places as well as brands.

• That abandoned doll Archie found in Pickens Park is super creepy.

• Betty’s cat is named Coffee, and given her history as a pet owner, I fear for the feline.

• Towards the end of this episode, new character Tabitha Tate (Erinn Westbrook) bids farewell to drifter Lynette “Squeaky” Fields. Given that Fields’ nickname is a Manson Family reference, could Riverdale have a death cult on its hands?

• Other mysteries raised by this episode: Who is the father of Toni’s baby? How will Veronica feel about La Bonne Nuit becoming a Serpent hangout? How long have Betty and her partner been together? Will Jughead get a razor? Who is the Lonely Highway killer? How did Reggie get involved with working for Hiram? What exactly are Hiram’s SoDale plans? How long until someone punches Chadwick? Where’s Mary Andrews? How long have the Ghoulies been back in Riverdale…and Archie’s house for that matter? If Riverdale is such a cesspool, what exactly does Tom Keller do all day? I suppose we will just have to wait for answers to all of these questions and more. Until next week!

The post Riverdale Season 5 Episode 4 Review – Chapter 80: Purgatorio appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2NjTDty

[omniversalobservations]

Back to Next Saturday (1985)

A preview of NBC's Saturday morning lineup in 1985, in which Blair (Facts of Life) reads Rudy (Cosby Show) to sleep and Rudy dreams that she's trapped in the "Dream Zone" and, accompanied by other characters from Saturday morning shows, must get back.

Steve Alterman ... Ash Casey Ellison ... Allen Anderson Ami Foster ... Margaux Kramer Soleil Moon Frye ... Punky Brewster Dan Gilvezan ... Spider-Man Cherie Johnson ... Cherie Johnson Keshia Knight Pulliam ... Rudy Huxtable Mr. T ... Mr. T Gabriela Nelson ... Carla Robbie Rist ... Whiz Bryan Scott ... Kidd Video Frank Welker ... Glomer Lisa Whelchel ... Blair Warner

Source: IMDB

After she falls asleep, Keisha is soon visited by an animated flying cat-bear thing that calls himself “Glomer,” who uses some of his “magic dust” (giant ironic **wink**) to transport her to the Dream Zone, a treacherous land of shadowy caves, trap doors, falling rocks, lakes of fire, and most horrifyingly, random televisions turned to Alvin and the Chipmunks. Glomer stars in the animated version of Punky Brewster, because every animated version of a TV show in the 80s required some sort of enchanted animal so that they didn’t simply repeat the plots of the original source material. He (it?) attempts to transport Keisha to the cartoon world, but accidently brings our favorite tiny hobo clown and her pals to the Dream Zone instead.

The kids immediately determine that they must follow a series of clues in order to find a mysterious queen who will return them to their respective worlds. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, but it doesn’t have to–this gossamer thread of a plot exists solely to get the kids (and the audience) from one cartoon preview to the next, watching clips that were so hastily thrown together that the soundtrack doesn’t always sync up with the film. First, they see a preview for The Snorks, a “clamtastic adventure” about underwater creatures with what look like drinking straws emerging from the tops of their heads. Based on a fifteen second clip, Punky’s buddy Allen announces “I’ll be watching The Snorks for sure!”

Equally inspired by The Goonies, released three months earlier, much of the show just features the kids wandering around in the spooky Dream Zone, occasionally acting as though they’re scared. As cute and cuddly as all of these child actors are, it appears that their direction was limited to “Play it louder…no, LOUDER.” Soleil Moon Frye and Keisha Knight Pulliam, in particular, shout all their lines like they’re attempting to speak to an elderly relative at a crowded Thanksgiving table. A plastic skeleton hanging from a ceiling terrifies them, but they’re not at all fazed to see Smurfette speaking to them from a television, or Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks reminding them to watch his show, but neglecting to tell them how to get out of the Dream Zone.

They also have no issue with an adult emerging from a hidden passageway while dressed in a bear suit, something that would certainly cause Yr. Correspondent’s bowels to evacuate. This would be Cubbi, the lead character of Disney’s Adventures of the Gummi Bears, a show that has pretty much the same plot as The Smurfs, except here they’re bears who harvest “gummiberries” instead. The catchy theme song of Disney’s Adventures of the Gummi Bears was performed by a former lead singer for Toto, and that is literally the only thing interesting about this cartoon, which somehow aired for an implausible six years.

Glomer, a creature that, like Mr. Cool in Fonz and the Happy Days Gang, exists mostly to make life difficult for its human counterparts, then zaps the cast of Kidd Video, a show I forgot existed until the moment it was mentioned on the program, into the Dream Zone. Kidd Video was NBC’s touchingly clumsy attempt at rescuing adolescent audiences from the clutches of MTV, featuring a “hip” teen rock group stuck in an alternate universe called “The Flipside,” who would distract potential enemies by showing them the hottest new music videos. This lily-white bunch of kids “often break danced to relax,” and were evidently quite popular in Israel, according to Wikipedia.

Popular in Israel or not, they don’t prove to be much help to Punky and the kids. It takes Spider-Man, and eventually the then-ubiquitous Mr. T (who proclaims “I pity the fool who tries to keep my friends from NBC Saturday morning!”) to get them out of one bind after another, including having to jump over a pool of lava. Meanwhile, little Keisha, who, for unknown reasons, has wandered off from the rest of the group, takes the opportunity to break into song. This makes Lisa Whelchel appear again, this time as the Queen of the Dream Zone, dressed like Glinda the Good Witch, and with her hair even bigger than before. They duet for a couple moments before they’re reunited with the other kids, and then the whole casts performs a song about the importance of Keisha returning home in time to see her favorite Saturday morning cartoons, as opposed to, oh, I don’t know, go to school or see her parents.

“Will I ever see my friends again?” little Keisha asks. “Of course!” answers Queen Lisa. “All you have to do is turn on your television!” It must be pointed out that “Your friends live in the television” is a strange message to send to children, and I say that having been a child who watched so much television that my eyes might as well have been rendered into two tiny test patterns.

Keisha returns safely to her own world, in her bed, with Lisa back to being just the regular babysitter with hair that only requires half a case of Aqua Net to hold it up, as opposed to the whole thing. Things seem normal, but–doh ho ho!–there’s Glomer again, babbling in that familiar Frank Welkerese, reminding the audience not to forget to watch their favorite shows on NBC Saturday morning, as if this wasn’t what the entire past twenty-five minutes was about in the first place.

Source: Tune in Tonight!

(images via YouTube)

[ramajmedia]

Top Gun: 10 Hilarious Memes Only True Fans Understand

Top Gun is one of those classic '80s films that is renowned for its endlessly quotable one-liners, high-octane action, and cheesy soundtrack by the master of the movie theme song,  Kenny Loggins. It features beautiful people doing impossible stunts, promising melodrama and thrills that it delivers at Mach 10. Watching Top Gun makes you feel like you just got a thumbs up from Maverick himself.

RELATED: Everything We Know About Glen Powell's Role In Top Gun: Maverick

While it's been accused of being one long military recruitment ad, there's a certain sentimentality and charm floating in its tangerine sunsets. The franchise about elite pilots gunning for the distinction of 'Top Gun" isn't in the "danger zone" either, it's going to continue in 2020 with a follow-up film for a new era. Here are 10 memes that true Top Gun fans will find hilarious.

10 ODDS OF MAVERICK BUZZING THE CONTROL TOWER

When it comes to Maverick, one of the most reliable things about him is his unpredictability. What makes him a flight risk also makes him a hero. Often times if it weren't for Maverick's ability to think outside the box and fly in the danger zoneonce in a while, situations would be more than just inverted.

You'd think Maverick's antics would result in some fatal accidents, but he was cleared of any direct involvement in Goose's death. His recklessness in Top Gun appeared when he was bucking authority or trying to prove he belonged in an elite class of pilots.

9 I FEEL THE NEED FOR SPEED

If there was one character from another highly successful franchise that evoked the same hot-shot mentality as the naval aviators in Top Gun, it's Poe Dameron from Episode VII: The Force Awakens. From his carefree bravado to his constant clashes with authority figures, he's the sci-fi version of Maverick.

Unfortunately, Poe's need for speed caused the Resistance to lose almost their entire bomber fleet just to take out one of the First Order's Dreadnoughts, which caused Poe's immediate demotion. Like Maverick, he wouldn't have made Top Gun either.

RELATED: 10 Things From Top Gun That Haven't Aged Well

8 BECAUSE I WAS INVERTED

It turns out that George Washington and Maverick have a lot in common. Washington wasn't afraid to trust his gut and take a risk simply because the path to victory was dangerous. He wasn't going to be deterred by things like frigid temperatures, ice rifts, or the threat of British troops firing from across the river bank when it came to organizing the Delaware crossing.

On Christmas Day, Washington organized his secret mission, hoping it would result in a surprise attack of the Hessian and British troops across the river. It worked despite all odds, and Washington became recognized for the badass he is today. Viper would approve.

7 TOP GUN WAS SO UNREALISTIC

Top Gun has been cited as unrealistic for several reasons, much of which boils down to style being favored over substance, and the authenticity of a real military experience being sacrificed to make the storyline more exciting. Then there's the little matter of Tom Cruise's height.

Tom Cruise has been a leading man in Hollywood for decades, but like Robert Downey Jr. or Alan Ladd, he doesn't exactly have the leading man height. It's an aspect of his career that's fueled many a meme before, and a particularly memorable episode of Family Guy involving a Tom Cruise the size of Stewie.

6 NOT EVERYONE GETS TO BE TOP GUN

Top Gun is one of the most elite schools with some of the most elite pilot training programs in the entire world. The United States Navy Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor Program doesn't have the same ring to it, but don't let the colloquial name fool you.

Only select naval flight officers and naval aviators get selected to attend Top Gun, and after they go through a rigorous series of tests and simulations involving strike tactics and techniques, they're released to become instructors. Not even Maverick was awarded "Top Gun", but he did stick around to teach.

RELATED: Original Top Gun Editor Returning For Sequel

5 WHATEVER HAPPENED TO ICE MAN

We've all heard by now the names of the actors returning for Top Gun 2, and while everyone knew Tom Cruise was reprising his role as Maverick, it was less certain if Val Kilmer would return as Ice Man. He'd had a string of health issues in the last decade that implied even if he did return, he'd look extremely different than the image he used to cut in a pair of dress whites.

While this meme alludes to when Kilmer gained an alarming amount of weight, his recent battle with throat cancer left him anything but large. The last few years have seen Kilmer appear in public looking exceedingly thin, but he made sure to confirm that he was healthy enough to do the film.

4 WHO IS THIS MOVIE ABOUT AGAIN?

It might be hard to remember after being blinded so many times by Tom Cruise's megawatt smile and mirror shades, but the movie is called Top Gun and he didn't win it. His storyline was the focus of the film, and the distinction of being "Top Gun" was his objective, but that honor went to Ice Man.

Ice Man gets a bad rep in the film for being a hardass, who takes an instant dislike to Maverick because his tactics put people in potential danger. Ice Man is painted in some ways as the bully and the villain of the narrative, when he's really anything but.

3 WILSON!

Few people may realize that the actor that plays Wilson, Tom Hank's only companion in Cast Away when he's stranded on the island, actually got his big break back in the '80s. Catch him in the beach volleyball scene in Top Gun being passed around by Maverick, Ice Man, Goose and the rest of the gang.

Known for his stamina performing physical stunts and a consistently upbeat attitude, no one's ever heard him complain about his treatment even when he's getting hit in the face by the biggest names in Hollywood. He's just happy to be on camera and get his moment in the sun.

2 IT'S TOO CLOSE FOR MISSILES

Anyone that's watched Top Gun or been to flight school will get this reference immediately, but the subtext beneath may fly over fans' heads. It makes perfect sense if you grasp the fact that in recent years, the film has been lampooned for its gratuitous scenes involving young, half-naked men in locker rooms and on the beach.

Top Gun is now remembered for two things; it's extremely pro-military agenda and its blatant homoeroticism. Filmmakers can't exactly deny that it wasn't a giant recruitment ad for the military, but the other implication seems to be something they'd prefer died with Goose.

1 TOP BUN

If you talk to anyone in the military, there was already a lot of non-regulation haircuts and styles going on in Top Gun. Yes, most of the actors' hair was appropriately short (it had to be off the color), but it definitely wasn't the typical flat top high and tight enforced by most branches of the armed forces.

These days, all sorts of interesting adjustments have been made for enlisted service members, from beards being allowed if they're part of your religion, to certain headscarves, and even longer hair on women. But Maverick with a man bun? Definitely not.

NEXT: Top Gun: 10 Questions We've Waited Over 30 Years For A Sequel To Answer

source https://screenrant.com/top-gun-hilarious-memes/

[writingsforanyone]

Meeting Sonny Carisi

Show: Law and Order SVU Character: Dominick “Sonny” Carisi Jr. Paring: Sonny Carisi/Reader Warnings: None

Sonny Carisi was sitting in his car on his first day at Manhattan SVU, wondering what the mini parking space between him and the sidewalk was for. Suddenly, that parking lot became occupied with an all black Harley Davidson, and the driver didn’t exactly match the big, buff biker stereotype. Instead of a small, half coconut looking helmet on top of the head, the driver was wearing an over-the-head motorcycle helmet, and the person’s long, brown, curly hair was coming out of the back, making it obvious that it was a girl, if that wasn’t already obvious. She turned off the bike and climbed off, taking off her helmet and shaking her hair out, revealing the prettiest girl he had ever seen. She went to the back of her bike and grabbed her wallet, phone, gun, and badge out of a compartment and put it all where it was supposed to be. Sonny came out of a trance and realized he was staring, and he turned off his car and got out.

“I’ve never seen you around here. You new?” He turned around to hear the question that came from the beautiful girl in front of him.

“Yea i just transferred here from Brooklynn,” he answered, his Staten Island accent coming out strong.

“I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that you’re from Staten Island”

“You would be correct. I’m Dominick Carisi Jr. Call me Sonny”

“Nice to meet you Sonny,” she answered before pocketing her phone and walking off with her helmet in hand. Sonny put his gun in its holster and his badge on his belt before walking toward the front of the building, realizing that he never got the girls name.

(changed POV) You walked into the squad room and towards my desk which was across from an empty desk ever since Nick had left. You shook off your jacket and put it on the back of your chair before heading towards the locker room to put your helmet and other belongings in your locker. Before leaving the room, you checked yourself in the mirror. You decided to wear a very simple outfit today, consisting of black jeans, black high top converse, and a white Tshirt. Chief Dodds had gotten on to you when you first moved to SVU for your attire, and you explained how you had just come from a stint in the Bronx Gang Unit, and couldn’t exactly wear heels and nice clothes to work everyday because of all the running involved, and that in all you worked better in comfortable clothes anyway. Fin later told you that he had gotten the same talk when he first moved to the unit as well, and that after a while, Dodds stopped caring when he realized there was nothing he could do about it.

“Hey pip-squeak,” you heard Fin say as you walked out of the locker room. ‘Pip-Squeak" was the nickname he gave you on your first day at SVU six years earlier, and it fit well considering you were barely 5'2 and still looked like you were fresh out of high school. You were 26 at the time, but even at 32 years old, you had a hard time getting into non-cop bars because you looked so young.

“Mornin’ Fin. Lieu in yet?”

“Yea but she went downstairs to get something and hasn’t been back yet.” Just then Rollins walked in and threw all of her stuff down and fell into her seat, letting out a huge sigh.

“Well good morning sunshine,” you said, to which she only responded with a grunt. “i thought southerners were supposed to be full of southern hospitality. Did one go rouge or was i just wrong?” you joked.

“I went out for drinks with some friends from Atlanta last night and didn’t get home until midnight, and my neighbors decided to go at for like two hours last night, and i only got about 3 hours of sleep last night,” she answered, putting an end to your questions. You just laughed and sat down at your desk, putting you headphones in and began to finish the paper work from your last case that had put off doing the day before.

A little while later, just as you were finishing up your work, you took out your headphone and looked up to see your lieutenant standing and talking to a very familiar face. You recognized him as the man in the parking lot that you had met earlier that morning. He was tall and skinny, and had a lot of gel that slicked back his hair, and he had a mustache that made him look like an 80s porn star. Olivia and who you remembered as Sonny walked towards the middle of the squad room.

“Hey Staten Island,” you greeted, leaning back in your seat and propping your feet up on the corner of your desk. Olivia looked at you with a confused look and asked: “Do you two already know each other?”

“We met in the parking lot this morning when i caught him staring at me through his car window,” you answered

“Hey now, i wasn’t staring i just wasn’t expecting such a pretty girl to be riding a motorcycle,” Sonny defended.

“Oh are we being sexist now?” you jokingly shot back

He was about to answer you when Olivia but in and said

“i thought this was SVU not a high school.” i smirked and Fin and Rollins laughed before letting the lieutenant make the introductions.

“This is our new detective Sonny Carisi. He just transferred from Brooklynn SVU. Sonny, this is Fin Tutuola, Amanda Rollins, and i assume you already know that that, is Y/N Y/L/N.” Benson let him go, and he went around and made separate introductions. He came to a stop in front of your desk, and you looked up at him to see that he was smirking down at you. You leaned back in your chair and asked,

“Something I can do for you, Detective?”

“Y/N,” he said, testing your name out. “I like that. Why didn’t i get a name before?” he questioned

You stood up, walking towards the lieutenant’s office. “If you really wanted to know, you would’ve come and found me. And in a way, you did. Welcome to SVU, partner,”

[buffystylez-blog]

Unaired Pilot - FOR REAL

It’s still Buffy’s birthday, so there’s another gift in store for Slayerettes:

THE UNAIRED BUFFY PILOT IS ON YOUTUBE.

Link is here.

So I thought I’d try a more tradish style recap. Get ready for some low quality screenshots!

Also there is a disclaimer that the episode is not for broadcast because the music used was not cleared. I don’t think they could afford it at the time.

Could do with a shirt.

It’s very similar to the opening of the first episode in that a young boy and girl break into Sunnydale High School after hours and just when you think the boy is going to take advantage of the girl, the girl is a vampire and kills him real good. Pretty sure it’s a different actor. For the guy. Not Darla. That’s definitely still Julie Benz.

It’s a substantially different costume for Darla. This is the first time I’ll wonder if the actors styled themselves. I love the brogues. Darla was wearing these waaaaay before they were cool. Perhaps she killed a Charleston dancer and then waited until 1994 to kill a girl for her dress.

Will this unrealistic stage set return? Probably!

I almost think the vampire make-up is better in this than the first season.

This was probably done by an intern. I hope it was. Because if it were it was definitely free.

Who could it be wearing these cute high heel canvas shoes? I had these. I loved them. Chunky heels for all.

It’s Buffy Summers! Or Bunny, as Principal Flutie keeps calling her. She is more peppy, which I will discuss in more detail later. Or soon. And you should bloody see who played Flutie in the pilot.

STEPHEN TOBOLOWSKY. If you’re unfamiliar with this gentleman, give this a go.

Let’s talk about Buffy’s school outfit. She’s in a miniskirt and top combo with a short-sleeve button up over the top. It’s... ok. It’s more casual. Everyone is more casual in the pilot. This outfit speaks to the perkier Buffy. She’s walking a line between LA Buffy and post-season premiere Buffy. I think this is the vibe Whedon wanted for the film. It... did not translate. For reasons beyond Whedon’s control, I would wager. It both works and does not work, for reasons I will probably go into.

The outfit is cute. It lacks the polish that sets her a little apart from her schoolmates in Welcome to the Hellmouth. I do prefer her hair here, I think. It’s been straightened. Or more likely blow-dried straight.

Before straighteners, blowdrying curly or wavy hair straight was a mission. I remember a how-to in Dolly or Cosmo or Girlfriend or Cleo. It involved sectioning your hair in four bits, and juggling a big round brush and hairdryer. Like the hairdressers do really well and I do very badly. Is she sans fringe? I think she’s sans fringe.

New Willow. Who dis?

Now this does make the ‘softer side of Sears’ burn make a LOT more sense. Obviously they decided to replace this actress. It may have been because they sensed Alyson Hannigan’s ability to wear wacky colours and textures. This actress is ok. But she doesn’t really fit the dynamics of the Scooby Gang that well. As you’ll see, the friend chemistry between these versions of Buffy and Xander are much more interesting than Xander or Willow, or even Willow and Buffy.

Cordelia’s outfit here is soooooo much better. Charisma Carpenter is so beautiful. She’s the perfect antagonist for Buffy’s high school life - making Homecoming in season 3 feel like a long time coming. Blonde versus Brunette, city girl versus Queen Bee. They’re very evenly matched. I want this cropped shirt. 

Though you can’t see her too clearly, the girl on the right is Nicole Bilderback, aka Whitney from Bring It On. She’s also the girl who wants to sleep with someone to get back at a boyfriend in Can’t Hardly Wait. Girl played supporting teen girl parts for a while in the 1990s. And of course that’s Harmony. This show kept a lot of its supporting cast from the pilot, which is nice.

Buffy meets Xander who directs her to the library, and she leaves behind her stake. The library is of course the place this tall drink of hot tea is waiting for her.

As in Welcome to the Hellmouth he produces that creepy book and Buffy wigs and leaves. Giles is confused as hell.

Better shot of Buffy and Willow’s outfit. There’s some nice banter here. This pilot shows of Whedon’s skill with comedic dialogue much better than the film. Some of it is even more lol than Welcome to the Hellmouth or the Harvest.

Buffy is swept away by Cordelia’s gang and just awkwardly leaves Willow. Doesn’t really establish much of a rapport between Will and B.

Xander catches up to Buffy to return her stake and together they identify the relevant social groups at Sunnydale. It’s probably my favourite scene.

I keep forgetting Xander has a skateboard. God, I hate skateboards.

Aphrodesia and whoever discover Darla’s last meal. Willow and Cordelia break the news to Buffy, but in my opinion in this exchange Buffy’s not weird enough for Cordelia to begin to doubt inviting her into her version of the Plastics.

As in Welcome to the Hellmouth Buffy checks the body for bite marks and confronts Giles, revealing her status as The Chosen One to all other patrons of the library. I guess both Buffy and Giles assume that teens don’t use libraries. And to be fair it is just Xander. I LOVED the library as a teen. I was cool. NO I WAS.

The layout is different and allows Buffy to jump off the stairs instead of use them. Because Giles uses the stairs and we discover how fucking awkward spiral staircases are. My favourite Spiral Staircase is the Kings of Leon song.

Did they keep the skylight?

The Bronze! With little to no discussion! But look at this little morsel saved for later:

There’s a line about their prowess in this episode I could swear Oz uses in season 2. Whedon and his writers are good at saving their gold. Like leprechauns?

Here’s Buffy in another outfit!

She’s already wearing practical footwear for slaying. Miley bless this creature. Is this Jonathan? The quality is so low.

Can’t tell.

I’m so sorry SMG. I did not realise how bad this screenshot was for you. Hair is high ponytail. Always up for slayage. It’s curled, which is fun. Depending on where you grew up these little strands at the front may have been called ‘slut straps.’

Jacket is... PVC? It’s... I probably would have liked it.

Again, Xander and Buffy already seem like great friends. Willow is again inconsequential, almost. As in Welcome to the Hellmouth, Willow is in danger. And where is she in danger? You guessed it, the stage for a drama performance constructed by no teen drama club I’ve ever seen.

He looks like if James Marsters was the lead singer of an 80s New Wave band.

Is that such a bad thing? Probably is for Willow.

He may also be a character from a Bret Easton Ellis novel. So he obviously has a lot of respect for women.

Buffy is wearing a shiny shirt and what appears to be a PVC jacket. It’s not a good combo. Neither is the purse. It looks like a lunch bag. 

I would also like to point out that Xander is much better dressed here than in the series.

After a very slow run toward the villain she delivers this wonderful high kick.

Darla is back! Along with a vampire who looks like he was murdered while audtioning for a role as Gaston in Beauty and the Best.

Buffy fights some vampires and Willow and Xander help a bit. Hooray!

FYInformaysh this is how the vampires die in the pilot. Slowly.

So slowly.

This is Willow and Xander helping. They burned Darla to death, I think. Not sure.

Everyone looks flawless here. Not a lot of stretchy fabric going on, but still items I would definitely want.

They’re discussing how weird Buffy, Willow and Xander are.

Get it? Get it? Vampires. Art Imitating Life or whatever.

Apart from talking to a teacher and actually enjoying it they look cool as hell. Not sure what Cordy etc are talking about.

The hair is excellent. I had this shirt about ten years ago or similar. It’s purple and white and I wore it to a festival and almost instantly regretted it. Should’ve just stuck with the black dress and Chuck Taylors. Not all vintage is cool or wearable, guys.

She’s wearing almost the same thing as the day before - miniskirt, sneakers, t-shirts, button up shirt as jacket. I like the shirt from the first outfit better. But I might like the skirt better?

I definitely would have worn this. Actually, I did. I had a Roxy (or was it just Billabong?) dark blue corduroy miniskirt that I wore with a blue camouflage patterned t-shirt. I remember wearing it on a trip to Gunnedah to visit my grandfather on my mum’s side of the family. I would wear one of his flat caps with it. He would let me wear it but wouldn’t let me keep it. And then he would give me other stuff, like all of these vintage ties he owned so I could make a skirt out of them. I didn’t end up doing that, but I still have them all. I’ll never get rid of them.

Gunnedah, NSW, is also the hometown of Miranda Kerr and Erica Baxter. I do not know either young lady. But once Miranda Kerr laughed at my nephew. He had ice cream on his face. He was a toddler at the time. That was a fun story.

Sarah Michelle Gellar is so cute. Always was, always will be. She’s already the fun, peppy Buffy that will take a little longer to bring out in the series proper. She is so perfectly cast as Buffy.

That seemed like a long way away. That was incredibly dangerous. Why would she do that? Buffy is very careless when it comes to her stakes.

And that’s it! Comes in at a respectable 25 minutes and some change. The smaller run time means it’s much more about establishing Buffy as a slayer and the fun element of the premise. No Angel, so no love interest at this stage. Though I wonder if Xander and Buffy’s easy chemistry was meant to take a romantic turn?

They would rewrite it, make it longer, introduce the Big Bad, and Angel. They would also throw in the genius play of making the first two episodes a two-parter. And they would kill off a character that seemed meant to be a regular - it was a pretty good twist. They also introduce similar things from the pilot in a maybe more organic way. For example, in Welcome to the Hellmouth Buffy sneaks into the girls locker room to check the body. In this, she just flat out asks the Principal if she can. AND HE LETS HER.

Buffy’s realisation she will be doomed to being an outcast if she accepts her Slayer duties is much more expertly handled in Welcome to the Hellmouth. It’s like the pilot episode of Sherlock compared to the first episode - the extra time gives them room to breathe. They don’t have to fly through introducing characters and setting up the premise of the first series.

It’s a lot of fun, and there’s some trademark Whedon dialogue, but I daresay if this pilot had been broadcast the show may not have lasted. This plays like a fun high school sitcom with some supernatural elements. I feel like it might be trying to replicate the silly ‘monster of the week’ vibe of the film. And Whedon seems to have decided quite quickly that the series would be a different beast, so to speak. I think the slight change of direction was the best decision. Instead of a Buffy picking up almost where she left off, he introduces some real world consequences for her actions in LA instead. 

It is her first day in a new school after being kicked out of school and packed off to a small town with her newly divorced mother, after all. She’s hoping to start fresh but soon learns she can’t. The entire series really examines the idea that it’s fucking hard to grow up and accept responsibility and though you can mostly handle it with grace and humour sometimes there’ll be days you just can’t. Growing up is hard and Buffy always learns this the hard way. It’s ‘with great power comes great responsibility’ but with more vampires. And great hair.

And what if Buffy had never worn those brown leather knee high boots? I don’t even want to think about a Buffy the Vampire Slayer without them.

Happy birthday, B. You’ll always be one of my personal heroes. You got me through some stuff, you know.

Coming up next on the blog, a rarity: I’ll praise Xander’s wardrobe.

Until next time, Slayerettes.

[adrift-in-writing]

Conflict of Interest

A dabble in which I write whatever I want. It’s stupid, has no relevance to anything, takes my writing formatting and throws it out the window, but also it’s supposed to be me having fun, which I did. It’s probably horrible writing, but it’s still writing.

I put very little thought into this other than “keep it going no matter how dumb it sounds.” Expect nothing except stupidity and nonsense.

A small crossover between Saints Row the Third and Grand Theft Auto: Online. Characters are based off of my own, of course.

Maybe this’ll be a short-lived series, we’ll see.

The city is yours. Of course it would be after all, you’re the leader of the most notorious gang who made it big. Everywhere you look, your people are plastered around in billboards and flashing signs. The gang’s now a fuckin’ household brand, what do you know? The big boss, that’s your name. Except it isn’t. It’s Bailey, and Bailey is a girl’s name.

Black, slicked back hair, a nice purple suit and tie with a black work shirt to go with it was what Bailey wore. Not the average stuff she wears, sure, but just for today she wanted to dress for the occasion. It was a nice day out for a suit, after all.

 Still though, The Boss is still a pretty sweet name. After five years from being a nobody to a somebody whom even the police force asks ‘How’re the Saints?’ To which of course, you deign answer before punching them in the nuts. Preferably twice before they stand back up.

You’ve moved businesses down from Steelport to a fancy new place they call Los Santos, San Andreas. Everybody around here recognizes you, right? Big shot, big money, all that shit? Not really. Los Santos was more obsessed with itself and the police genuinely are corrupt, even your money couldn’t buy ‘em.

 The phone rang. It’s Shaundi, and she was a little concerned about what was happening. “Boss, we’ve got a bit of a problem. Check your phone.” she says.

“Why am I not surprised?” Bailey had replied. The conversation didn’t last long.

The phone lights up, and there’s details telling Bailey to go somewhere. Maze Bank West’s office, it seemed. Somebody up there had a shipment of priceless antiques stolen from the cargo plane the Saints were supposed to have. 

Why antiques? Because Oleg advised the gang to move past drugs and guns. Opt for more legal stuff. Everybody except you agreed around the meeting table. Sure, shooting up a whole building and slamming a dude’s skull to the floor is fun, but in this place that isn’t gonna fly all that well. Johnny wouldn’t have liked it, he’d have rather settled it with a 9mm pistol.

Bailey arrived to the office, now aware that she really needed to get that shipment back. The doors swung open and, according to the lobby, the 25th floor was the company’s office. As soon as those elevator doors swing open, whoever’s in there’s gonna get what’s coming.

She reached for her 45 Shepard, old, yet reliable. Then the elevator doors opened up, and a secretary was sat just behind her desk behind the glass doors. She screamed and ducked as gunfire from Bailey’s pistol began erupting. Bullets whizzed by and cracked bits of the reinforced windows.

Despite the assistant’s pleas for help, the CEO of the building was calmly typing away at her computer. She had just finished placing orders to get all 42 crates of her cargo shipped onto a plane, asap, and then reclined back. Next thing Bailey did was ignore the assistant and go straight for the person in charge.

The CEO wore a black overcoat and a pink and white shirt. Her neck was covered in a classy-looking grey scarf, and she had fingerless gloves. Black quilted jeans and some calf-high black boots adorned her lower body, but what was most noticeable through her amethyst figure-eight glasses were her yellow eyes.

Bailey pointed the gun right at her. “Where’s the fucking crate?” she asked. The CEO was not phased, nor was she even remotely scared. She said nothing, rather doing some gestures and beckoned Bailey to check the computer with a message of saying the crates were ready to go.

Angrily, Bailey rushed the CEO up from her seat and planted the barrel of her Shepard behind her back. “Drive me there. Now.” With some thought, the CEO shrugged and moved back to her assistant’s desk. Cowering behind it, she peeked out only to meet the two bosses staring intently at her.

“Y-Yes boss?” The assistant asked.

Pursing her lips, the CEO flipped a clipboard and pointed at her car, then nodded. The assistant sighed and repositioned her chair so that it wouldn’t be on the floor. “It’ll be in the driveway shortly. See you then...” Another sigh. The bosses had gone to the elevator and descended down. “What am I gonna do about these bullet holes?” The assistant asked herself.

The CEO and the Boss exited the building and were immediately met with gunfire and rockets fired over in the distance. A military Hydra jet was hovering about messing about with an F-69 VTOL in the air while several Saints members were being attacked by the Ballas. It was unusual the Ballas made it this far uptown, but whatever.

In the driveway was a black and purple Truffade Nero, engine ready and roaring. With the press of a button, the doors swung open and the silent CEO went in. Bailey had dived herself into the shotgun seat, smashing the window while getting comfortable in her seat. “Nice whip. Sorry, not sorry ‘bout the window. Now drive!”

No need to say more. The CEO put her foot down and immediately drove as the on-board phone rang. “Hey, boss. Did you get the coordinates? It should be on your map right now.” Her assistant called again and informed them that the airplane would be made ready in Los Santos International Airport.

As they were driving, the mayhem had subsided and 80′s Synthwave music came on-board. They came to a stop at a redlight when Bailey glanced over at the person in the driver’s seat. “You don’t talk much, do you?” She ignored the question and went on her own business. When they arrived at the airport, the plane was loaded without any sight of bodyguards to be seen. Without a word, the CEO parked her Nero nearby and stepped out. The back of the plane opened up as she approached, only to find no crates in the bay. Bailey came in and raised her hands up.

“What’re you playing at?” Bailey asked, and the CEO shrugged. The Boss’ 45 Shepard was raised once more at the CEO and before Bailey could fire, she received a notification from Shaundi stating they’ve got company.

Several armored Schafters came in and men in suits poured out of the car, all with their Assault SMGs loaded and pointed at the two.

With a chuckle and an eye roll, Bailey pulled out her SA-3 Airstrike gun before the CEO lowered it with her hand. In her other one, a heavy revolver with a golden etched finish was spotted. She raised it up and then, instead of aiming directly at any of the suited men, she aimed at one of the Schafter’s front grille.

The bullet penetrated the front of the car, yet nothing set itself off. Several of the men began laughing until one of their cars exploded, followed by simultaneous other Schafters exploding all at once. In a couple of moments, all of them were dead and had bled out. All the CEO did was put another bullet in the chamber, re-cock the hammer, and smirk.

Much to Bailey’s amusement, her eyes darted to the gun as she swiped it away from the silent woman. She examined it and gawked at its sheer magnificence. “Those guys didn’t even have a chance with this, god damn! Might need to stop by Friendly Fire or...um...what was it? Ammu-Nation! Right, Ammu-Nation, for one of these.”

Another notification popped up, this time by the CEO’s assistant once more. She informed her boss that they’d need to track down the crates in a van somewhere in the city, yet it was not quite known where it was going. Multiple trackers were set off from different points.

Bailey flipped out her phone and began making a call to her fellow FBI hacker, just to see if they couldn’t speed this process up. “Hey, Kinzie. See if you can’t track down our missing crate of antiques.”

“Um...okay, boss. I’ll see if I can’t triangulate --”

“Yeah whatever, no time for your science talk. Bye.” She hung up and then slid the revolver over to the person next to her.

With her revolver returned, the silent woman beckoned Bailey to get back in the car. They needed to find those crates, else they’d lose millions of dollars. The Nero’s engine roared, and within seconds, they were off.

[funface2]

Top Gun: 10 Hilarious Memes Only True Fans Understand – Screen Rant

Top Gun is one of those classic ’80s films that is renowned for its endlessly quotable one-liners, high-octane action, and cheesy soundtrack by the master of the movie theme song,  Kenny Loggins. It features beautiful people doing impossible stunts, promising melodrama and thrills that it delivers at Mach 10. Watching Top Gun makes you feel like you just got a thumbs up from Maverick himself.

RELATED: Everything We Know About Glen Powell’s Role In Top Gun: Maverick

While it’s been accused of being one long military recruitment ad, there’s a certain sentimentality and charm floating in its tangerine sunsets. The franchise about elite pilots gunning for the distinction of ‘Top Gun” isn’t in the “danger zone” either, it’s going to continue in 2020 with a follow-up film for a new era. Here are 10 memes that true Top Gun fans will find hilarious.

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10 ODDS OF MAVERICK BUZZING THE CONTROL TOWER

When it comes to Maverick, one of the most reliable things about him is his unpredictability. What makes him a flight risk also makes him a hero. Often times if it weren’t for Maverick’s ability to think outside the box and fly in the danger zoneonce in a while, situations would be more than just inverted.

You’d think Maverick’s antics would result in some fatal accidents, but he was cleared of any direct involvement in Goose’s death. His recklessness in Top Gun appeared when he was bucking authority or trying to prove he belonged in an elite class of pilots.

9 I FEEL THE NEED FOR SPEED

If there was one character from another highly successful franchise that evoked the same hot-shot mentality as the naval aviators in Top Gun, it’s Poe Dameron from Episode VII: The Force Awakens. From his carefree bravado to his constant clashes with authority figures, he’s the sci-fi version of Maverick.

Unfortunately, Poe’s need for speed caused the Resistance to lose almost their entire bomber fleet just to take out one of the First Order’s Dreadnoughts, which caused Poe’s immediate demotion. Like Maverick, he wouldn’t have made Top Gun either.

RELATED: 10 Things From Top Gun That Haven’t Aged Well

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8 BECAUSE I WAS INVERTED

It turns out that George Washington and Maverick have a lot in common. Washington wasn’t afraid to trust his gut and take a risk simply because the path to victory was dangerous. He wasn’t going to be deterred by things like frigid temperatures, ice rifts, or the threat of British troops firing from across the river bank when it came to organizing the Delaware crossing.

On Christmas Day, Washington organized his secret mission, hoping it would result in a surprise attack of the Hessian and British troops across the river. It worked despite all odds, and Washington became recognized for the badass he is today. Viper would approve.

7 TOP GUN WAS SO UNREALISTIC

Top Gun has been cited as unrealistic for several reasons, much of which boils down to style being favored over substance, and the authenticity of a real military experience being sacrificed to make the storyline more exciting. Then there’s the little matter of Tom Cruise’s height.

Tom Cruise has been a leading man in Hollywood for decades, but like Robert Downey Jr. or Alan Ladd, he doesn’t exactly have the leading man height. It’s an aspect of his career that’s fueled many a meme before, and a particularly memorable episode of Family Guy involving a Tom Cruise the size of Stewie.

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6 NOT EVERYONE GETS TO BE TOP GUN

Top Gun is one of the most elite schools with some of the most elite pilot training programs in the entire world. The United States Navy Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor Program doesn’t have the same ring to it, but don’t let the colloquial name fool you.

Only select naval flight officers and naval aviators get selected to attend Top Gun, and after they go through a rigorous series of tests and simulations involving strike tactics and techniques, they’re released to become instructors. Not even Maverick was awarded “Top Gun”, but he did stick around to teach.

RELATED: Original Top Gun Editor Returning For Sequel

5 WHATEVER HAPPENED TO ICE MAN

We’ve all heard by now the names of the actors returning for Top Gun 2, and while everyone knew Tom Cruise was reprising his role as Maverick, it was less certain if Val Kilmer would return as Ice Man. He’d had a string of health issues in the last decade that implied even if he did return, he’d look extremely different than the image he used to cut in a pair of dress whites.

While this meme alludes to when Kilmer gained an alarming amount of weight, his recent battle with throat cancer left him anything but large. The last few years have seen Kilmer appear in public looking exceedingly thin, but he made sure to confirm that he was healthy enough to do the film.

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4 WHO IS THIS MOVIE ABOUT AGAIN?

It might be hard to remember after being blinded so many times by Tom Cruise’s megawatt smile and mirror shades, but the movie is called Top Gun and he didn’t win it. His storyline was the focus of the film, and the distinction of being “Top Gun” was his objective, but that honor went to Ice Man.

Ice Man gets a bad rep in the film for being a hardass, who takes an instant dislike to Maverick because his tactics put people in potential danger. Ice Man is painted in some ways as the bully and the villain of the narrative, when he’s really anything but.

3 WILSON!

Few people may realize that the actor that plays Wilson, Tom Hank’s only companion in Cast Away when he’s stranded on the island, actually got his big break back in the ’80s. Catch him in the beach volleyball scene in Top Gun being passed around by Maverick, Ice Man, Goose and the rest of the gang.

Known for his stamina performing physical stunts and a consistently upbeat attitude, no one’s ever heard him complain about his treatment even when he’s getting hit in the face by the biggest names in Hollywood. He’s just happy to be on camera and get his moment in the sun.

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2 IT’S TOO CLOSE FOR MISSILES

Anyone that’s watched Top Gun or been to flight school will get this reference immediately, but the subtext beneath may fly over fans’ heads. It makes perfect sense if you grasp the fact that in recent years, the film has been lampooned for its gratuitous scenes involving young, half-naked men in locker rooms and on the beach.

Top Gun is now remembered for two things; it’s extremely pro-military agenda and its blatant homoeroticism. Filmmakers can’t exactly deny that it wasn’t a giant recruitment ad for the military, but the other implication seems to be something they’d prefer died with Goose.

1 TOP BUN

If you talk to anyone in the military, there was already a lot of non-regulation haircuts and styles going on in Top Gun. Yes, most of the actors’ hair was appropriately short (it had to be off the color), but it definitely wasn’t the typical flat top high and tight enforced by most branches of the armed forces.

These days, all sorts of interesting adjustments have been made for enlisted service members, from beards being allowed if they’re part of your religion, to certain headscarves, and even longer hair on women. But Maverick with a man bun? Definitely not.

NEXT: Top Gun: 10 Questions We’ve Waited Over 30 Years For A Sequel To Answer

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[gossipnetwork-blog]

TV We're Thankful For in 2017: Grey's Anatomy, Game of Thrones and More

New Post has been published on https://gossip.network/tv-were-thankful-for-in-2017-greys-anatomy-game-of-thrones-and-more/

TV We're Thankful For in 2017: Grey's Anatomy, Game of Thrones and More

The CW; NBC; ABC / Melissa Hebeler; E! Illustration

It’s that time of year, TV fans.

Time to gather around with loved ones, pile your plate full of turkey and pumpkin pie, unbutton that top button on your pants, and dig in. But before you do, it’s only customary to go around the table and share what your most thankful for. In that spirit, the E! News TV Team is coming at you with what we’re most grateful for this year—and you know it all has to do with our beloved small screen. (Yeah, yeah, we’re thankful for our families and our health, too. But you don’t want to hear all that mushy stuff!)

Every Thanksgiving, the members of our team reveal what TV delights got them through the year, ranging from massive milestone episodes to minor moments. So join as as we share with you what we’ll be talking about when we get together with our families to distract us from ruminating on what a bizarre year this has truly been. And, as always, be sure to let us know what you’re thankful too!

NBC

This Is Us For Giving and Withholding

I fully admit I was a bit nervous going into season two that the show, which has possibly achieved a new level of hype and exposure in the TV world, would hit the dreaded sophomore slump, doubling down on aspects of the show fans loved. (We get it, Internet, you all want to know how Jack died!) Fortunately, the show gave us a few clues in the premiere, and are slowly but steadily doling out the explanations, choosing to focus on character-building and relationship-testing storylines. —Tierney Bricker

CW

Crazy Ex‘s Continued Excellence

Bless Rachel Bloom, Aline Brosh McKenna and the entire cast and crew of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. The beloved CW musical dramedy continues to push boundaries in every possible direction without feeling forced or preachy. Rebecca Bunch’s evolution (or spiral to rock bottom) has been handled with grace, while remaining hilarious. Striking that hilarious/poignant balance is no easy feat, especially when dealing with mental illness, but Crazy Ex-Girlfriend continues to walk that line expertly in season three. —Chris Harnick

ABC

Grey’s Anatomy‘s Ghosts

Grey’s Anatomy joined an elite club of shows this year when it aired its landmark 300th episode, and in doing so, paid perfect homage to all those who helped get the series off the ground and keep it afloat for 14 years. From the trauma patients who bore uncanny resemblances to former stars T.R. Knight, Sandra Oh and Katherine Heigl, to the very early Grey’s feel of the interns’ actions, to Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) seeing Ellis (Kate Burton) up in the O.R. observation gallery, applauding her Harper Avery win, it was a pitch-perfect episode. —Billy Nilles

The CW

Riverdale

I don’t know what this show is smokin’ most of the time. It’s insane and makes no sense, but I love that it exists. I love that there’s a show on TV that will just throw out any wacky thing it thinks of in the most dramatic fashion while we’re just supposed to accept it. Sure, that’s how you join a gang. Sure, Jingle Jangle is a great name for a drug. Sure, shower sex is a great idea while you’re washing your father’s blood off of your clothes. Whatever. It’s great, and I’m so thankful we have it. —Lauren Piester

HBO

Game of Thrones For its Incest*

OK, I am NOT a fan of incest. BUT I did like finally feeling vindicated by Jon Snow and Dany’s hookup this past season after calling  that it would happen for years! Yes, my need to gloat tops my disdain for relatives hooking up. (Also, they don’t know?! I am trying to convince myself it’s OK to help this ‘ship sail, people. No one said shipping was easy.) —Tierney Bricker

*But Cersei and Jaime are just messed up. Period.

NBC

The Good Place

NBC’s The Good Place is easily my happy place. Kristen Bell and Ted Danson lead a cast that’s on top of their games. The Good Place turned everything on its head at the end of season one, allowing for season two to truly blossom. If D��Arcy Carden doesn’t get an Emmy for playing Janet, well, fork that. —Chris Harnick

Netflix

The Funny Ladies of Netflix

It seems like Netflix drops a new series every time I blink my eyes, to varying degrees of quality, but since the January release of the One Day at a Time reboot (starring the luminous Justina Machado), they’ve proven to be a haven for some of the funniest women in the game. Aside from mainstays Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and Grace & Frankie, the streaming giant brought Drew Barrymore to TV in the madcap zombie comedy Santa Clarita Diet, introduced the world to the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling with GLOW, found Dear White People‘s trio of fantastic female leads (Logan Browning, Antoinette Robertson, and Ashley Blaine Featherston), and gave us a second season of Maria Bamford‘s sweetly surreal Lady Dynamite. Even The Defenders was slightly redeemed by Krysten Ritter‘s Jessica Jones and the humor she injected into the otherwise dull proceedings. In a year that’s proven there are more bad men in Hollywood than we could even count, turning these funny ladies on and tuning out an ugly world has been a true godsend. —Billy Nilles

Netflix

Babysitter Steve Harrington

I loved all of season two of Stranger Things (even that terrible episode!), but what I loved most was the fact that my season one love of Steve Harrington was not only justified, but it became larger and more widely accepted. The whole world now sees the joy in this ’80s jock who’s really just a kindly single mom at heart, with Farrah Fawcett hair and a baseball bat covered in nails. We can all now unite behind Steve Harrington, and for that I am thankful. —Lauren Piester

YouTube

Luann Falling Into a Bush on RHONY

Sure, Luann (or Lu, as her friends like to call her) has given us so many .gif(t)s over the years, but does anything top her falling harder than she fell for (Please don’t let it be about) Tom into a bush after drinking a few too many margaritas on the RHONY ladies’ infamous trip to Mexico? Oh, and then her subsequent fall off of a four-foot high cement platform? Classy as ever, she laughed it off…and woke up to do yoga, surf and give zero effs about her drunken antics the following day. This is how you Housewife, people! —Tierney Bricker

TLC

90 Day Fiance

Somehow I have become somebody who not only DVRs 90 Day Fiance, but also tweets about it. The guilty pleasure reality show satisfies all my curiosity and drama needs. Who’s actually in love? Who’s so delusional? My judgmental nature flies freely thanks to this show. Don’t even get me started on Before the 90 Days… —Chris Harnick

NBC

SNL‘s Lowkey Obsession With RHOBH‘s Erika Jayne

All hail the kitty ambassador to the twink republic of Quonk! I’m not sure who in the SNL writers’ room is a hardcore fan of the RHOBH fave, but I’m so glad they are. It was exciting enough when, during Chris Pine‘s episode in May, he and Bobby Moynihan performed a “lip sync for your life” to Erika’s “XXPEN$IVE.” But watching Cecily Strong become Erika—excuse me, Candace—during the “New Wife” sketch with Larry David in early November slayed me. Now who do I have to bribe with munty and Givenchy hunty to have Candace and Erika meet? —Billy Nilles

ABC

Every Single Season of Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix

Grey’s Anatomy has been my entire life for the past month, and it was the happiest month of the year, maybe (not really). Sure, I cried a lot about things that normally wouldn’t make me cry, but those tears were cathartic. I needed them. Everyone should rapidly rewatch all 13 1/2 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy at least once in their lives. —Lauren Piester 

What TV are you thankful for this holiday season? Sound off with your faves in the comments below!

(E!, Bravo and NBC are all part of the NBCUniversal family.)

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[duanecbrooks]

Black Being Beautiful      It's another old-time flick, having been made an entire year before The Grasshopper, specifically in--hold on to your hat--1968.                Its female lead is a woman who has long, long, long since devolved to Trivial Pursuit-question status, namely Diahann Carroll (Its male lead, Jim Brown again, has, as has been pointed out before, a very successful career as an entrepreneur, not to mention considerable visibility as a rather simplistic, indeed, flat-out shrill Black Spokesperson).                Having been made in 1968, its cinematic style and sensibility, not to mention the makeup of most, if not all, of its characters would likely be considered mightily passé, even, considering the fact that these days, political correctness is running rampant, prehistoric.                Yet be that as it may...      The fact is, The Split, which, thanks as usual to my greatly-cherished DVD player I've seen several times, is a quite gripping, very well-paced heist flick, easily carrying you along on its wavelength, easily causing you to accept its reality. And not once, not once, while watching it does your attention flag or you lose interest in its characters.                Let's specify...            Split kicks off with a wide-angle shot of a dirt road. Before long, it hones in on this car conking out, carrying this majorly hunky black dude, who, as we'll come to discover, is said picture's central character, McClain (Brown). He tries for a while to fix the car but eventually opts to riding a bus, which we see stopping in front of this rather ramshackle motel. McClain gets off and goes inside and is (in time) joyously greeted by its proprietor, Gladys (Julie Harris). He first asks about his ex, Ellie--whom we'll soon meet--and is bluntly told: "She moved. I haven't seen her." When asked about his future plans, McClain gives an answer that in sum tells the point of the entire picture: "Just one big job. That's all I want." We then see the aforementioned Ellie (Carroll) on the phone, enveloped in shock, obviously being told that her ex is back. Next we see the former couple in bed, lying warmly up against each other, obviously having Done The Deed. We quickly get the message that their history being together was far from happy (Ellie: "I kept on dreaming. And one morning I woke up and you weren't there. That was one morning too many." McClain: "If I'm not here, what the hell were you just doing [in having sex with me]?" This causes Ellie to angrily slap McClain's face). There's further dialogue between them (Ellie: "I'm weak with you...That's my problem...You want to see me crawl. You want to see me so weak I can't stand any more"; interestingly, given that, as has been mentioned, this was 1968, Ellie in time calls McClain: "You black son of a bitch!"), and then we cut to McClain casing the place the latter intends to hit, namely a football stadium where there's scheduled to be a face-off involving the Rams and the Packers (Gladys: "There's 80 thousand seats in the place." McClain: "And that's a lot of money").                 Let's continue. Following are scenes wherein McClain "tests" the fellows he wants to include in the upcoming heist, namely Clinger, Kifka, Marty, and Negil (Ernest Borgnine, Jack Klugman, Warren Oates, and Donald Sutherland, respectively) by putting them through various paces--dropping in on Clinger and initiating a fight, initiating an open-road car chase with Kifka, et al. When the team McClain wants and Gladys are gathered together, we discover that there's  certainly, definitely no love lost between McClain and the guys (Negil: "[McClain is] a big black idiot." Marty: "If there's one thing I don't have time for, it's a smart-ass nigger!"). Yet when our hero at last finally shows up they all fall into line and it's agreed that the money will be stashed at Ellie's place (Gladys: "Ellie's clean. And the cops have nothing on McClain"). Next up is a rather engaging montage wherein McClain and Ellie are walking side-by-side along different places, including the beach with Ellie carrying her heels (McClain: "I'll be with you [after the heist] because that's where I want to be"). At last finally the day of the heist arrives, with McClain and Co. seizing the take while holding several guards and several stadium employees--among them the longtime comedic actor Jackie Joseph--at gunpoint and getting away with the help of McClain and Kifka masquerading as ambulance drivers. Then, as Ellie is lying on top of her bed reading, she, and we, hear a knock upon her door. Upon opening it, in comes McClain with the stolen gains, making it clear his intent to stash them at Ellie's. After her expressing understandable consternation ("You're using me, Mac"), we see McClain seduce Ellie by first taking her up in his arms, then throwing her upon the bed and having his way with her, with her (lovingly?) caressing the money that McClain has thrown upon her bed. Following are McClain and Ellie (obviously) fully under the covers and the phone ringing. Ellie gets it and hands it to her ex, as it's for him. Next we see McClain and Clinger, while playing pool, making plans to get together later with the rest of the gang and divvy up the cash.             Next: We see Ellie's ever-horny landlord Sutro (James Whitmore) sneak into her apartment and, while our girl is combing her hair in front of the mirror, approach her, supposedly about the rent. Yet, as time goes on, it becomes abundantly clear that what Sutro really and truly wants is not rent money but Ellie herself--as evidenced by the frequent close-ups of her bosom area and her upper-thighs area. Before long Sutro gives in to his lust and grabs Ellie. There's a struggle, she manages to knee him and she opens the lower shelf of her drawer, where, we find, there's weaponry stashed. Yet Sutro catches her, throws her upon the bed, and himself gets hold of a machine gun lying inside the drawer. Sutro winds up fatally machine-gunning Ellie, seizing all the money, and throwing a sheet over her dead body.                      Split goes on. When McClain arrives at Ellie's apartment and discovers her corpse, he is of course devastated. Then he opens the drawer and sees that the money, all of it, has been taken, which also knocks him for a loop. The police--having been called by Sutro, who has alerted them to Ellie's murder--show up, McClain manages to get away and, upon re-uniting with the gang, discovers, along with us, that they are in no sense happy campers (Gladys: "You've humiliated me, McClain." Marty: "As you can see, you're on the spot, boy"). We then see that the police detective Walter Brill (Gene Hackman) has been assigned to investigate Ellie's murder (and also see a newspaper headline that fully reflects the fact that this was 1968: "LANDLORD SLAYS NEGRO BEAUTY"), McClain is for a while tortured by the rest of the gang--while his arms are being held down, Clinger smacks his exposed stomach with a soaking-wet rope--McClain manages to escape--with Gladys getting accidentally and fatally shot in the process--and winds up cornering Brill in his home. At first Brill resists McClain's pressure ("the former to the latter: "There isn't a man in the force who will rest if anything happens to one of their own"), yet comes to bend under McClain's prodding (McClain to Brill: "You curl up pretty fast for a cop, don't you?"). Brill comes to throw in with McClain, the latter assuring him that he's the best bet to getting the dough ("There are three others [in the gang], but if you deal with me, you might live to spend that money"), there's a shootout in a deserted area between McClain/Brill and the other gang members, said team winds up killing them all, and the ending of the picture is genuinely unusual. It's comprised of McClain being about to board a plane and stopping upon hearing...Ellie's voice.                So there's The Split, in all a marvelously taut, marvelously absorbing crime flick. Whitmore chillingly embodies the ever-lustful, ever-creepy Sutro. Hackman lends his monumental presence and his monumental acting skill to the role of Brill. The two white chicks of Split--Joyce Jameson as Girl-Girl, a jolie laide whom Oates's character hooks up with early on and Joseph--are, respectively, enticingly sexy and enticingly charming. All the backup gang members come through magnificently in the acting department; there's never, ever a false note concerning any of them. As scenarist, Robert Sabaroff comes up with many meaty, pithy exchanges for McClain and the principals in his life to engage in. And director Gordon Flemyng consistently keeps the action moving, never allowing anything to flag (Said scene between Sutro and Ellie deserves special mention, being an entirely blood-curdling combination of adroit camera placement and adroit editing. Also: Apparently Brown and Flemyng didn't exactly click as work colleagues. In his through-the-roof-selling personal/professional memoir, Borgnine reported that the latter, on the final day of shooting, went up to the former and--according to Borgnine, echoing his own feelings--told him: "If you were the last actor on Earth, I would never work with you again").               And now we come to Brown and Carroll. While their acting in The Split, frankly, leaves much to be desired, their stylish good looks, their forceful sexiness, and their awe-inspiring physiques save the day. Their scenes together are aflame with their physical spice and their physical grace. The fact is, The Split is further proof of a point I (I hope) have made before: that theatrical films were at their best when they were a visual medium, when they wholly put aside aesthetic considerations and simply presented gorgeous, muscular/shapely performers whose physical beauty and unyielding sexiness majorly turned us on (To make another point I hope I've made in the past: While television is up to its neck in intellectual and creative barrenness, it shines as a visual medium. There's no blah about the director or about any of its products' Importance. All that's needed is to get whatever Baywatch Babe on-camera showing skin or get Kerry Washington on-camera, period and the winning score is made).                    It was a 1970s writer who asserted that Carroll and her then-Julia-co-star Fred Williamson (remember him?; I didn't think so) "embody perfection." With regard to The Split, it is Carroll and Brown who are the real and the true embodiment of perfection. And are added proof, assuming any more is needed, of the sanctimonious guilt-bingeing and the complete meaningless of the "issue" of "looksism."