#its a pain in the neck (literally)
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Reaper's Bounty.
#ffxiv#fan art#emet selch#zenos yae galvus#oc#atticus van simularus#tsukiko date#camilla lunae#I'm here to rattle my garlean reapers=vampires propaganda around because it lives rent free in my head#look two idiots willingly offering their aether to the people protecting them#one for their enshroud and the other for their primal transformation LOL#Atticus isnt always wholesome and with Regent's power he could appear at Solus' side whenever it was demanded of him#and because in universe regent is in control of the intake of aether emet doesnt have to worry about atticus taking too much -or-#discovering he was an ascian lmao#I also just felt like drawing crazy-eyed emet because its fun#also dont mind zenos plotting 100 ways to kill a man because hes in a situation where he has to transform#and therefore take his healer's own aether just to protect them#not that tsukiko minds- it means she gets to take a free nap#also the in universe pain that zenos has to feed either from her arm because he will not put his teeth anywhere near her neck (ironically)#(tsukiko heals through singing and its something he enjoys listening to in their off time)#mans stuck with literally the arm or the leg because Tsu is tiny next to him#adventurer zenos
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redrew phos, per the ancient challenge
it bugs me that this is not a very creative redraw but also i'm inexperienced with colors + was feeling kinda lazy. it still came out nice i think, and i got to spend a healthier amount of time on it :D
#houseki no kuni#phosphophyllite#phos hnk#phosphophyllite hnk#land of the lustrous#hnk#not feeling like posting this to my main drawing blog rn. idk why! i'll just reblog it to there later#.txt#the truth also is that#in order to achieve maximum nice colors#i need to use my phone as a screen. into which i look while drawing#(i did my “staring at a stranger” omori drawing that way)#because the colors on my ancient cheap laptop are unfortunately ass#but as much as i like how neatly colored t he drawings come out when i do that#its a pain in the neck (literally)#(and eyes)#so yeah . yeah
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#new year#happy new year#2024 was an AWFUL year for me personally as well as for the world in general#it took both my cat and my car#it taunted me with job interviews and possibilities that felt so close only to rip them away#I broke my foot (the same day the car got wrecked in a completely separate incident)#I had frequent neck pains and headaches and got my first true migraine#I was lonely and unhappy and my depression and anxiety was the worst its been in years#the election happened... literally everything else going terrible in the world for so many people...#fuck 2024#if any year deserves to be set on fire it's this one#2025 better be like a phoenix rising from the ashes...but given that its the start of trump round 2 I'm not hopeful#so I suspect I may be burning 2025 as well. but we'll see. anyway.#fuck you 2024#go mingle with the sewer trash like you deserve.
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07/04/22, Melbourne - Daniel Ricciardo looks on in the paddock during the run-up to the 2022 Australian Grand Prix
📸 by Clive Mason
(Parallel to this post)
#i think this is literally one of my all time favourite photos of dan#its absolutely insane.#the little earpiece on his neck? phew#the hint of a furrowed brow? phew#deep brown cow eyes? phew#but i am so upset bc u compare this one and the renault one and it is SO MUCH pain#SO MUCH PAIN#💔#daniel ricciardo#australian gp 2022#f1#formula 1#f1 edit#beth edits f1#daniel.jpg#from the archives#mclaren.jpg
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Whatever the fuck kinda fuck ass hormones are happening in my body right now I'm mad at them. pmsing pre-period-ing whatever you wanna call it and I'm so mad. So grumpy. And I can't help it! But I'm aware that I shouldn't dump that on people so that means that I'm mostly just silent or making noises to myself. Also mad for other reasons but last week I was able to handle it somehow. Premenstrual me struggles to handle it much more tho
#also my knee hurts. that's a classic tho. my back hurts and my neck to the point that i cant read a book. or i can but its very painful#also im annoyed because if it my mom does get diagnosed with celiac then maybe i will too and i love gluten. maybe she won't tho but if she#will.....been thinking about diet and the fact that i really am fucked up when it comes to that because i 1 have food issues that are like#ocd sensory related 2 have disordered type thoughts will not get into that 3 don't eat meat hate it with every fiber of my being 4 if we ad#gluten to that...oof. im also a person who will bring a snack to the function i try to have something in my bag always because sometimes#there's just nothing for me and i do try to eat to be polite sometimes but sometimes when i do i literally gag. anyway i hate eating but i#also love eating#and also i have pimples i very rarely have pimples so thats a big deal for me and i actually don't care how they look its the fact that im#going to have to put on a band aid or something cause i keep picking at them#and i have another itchy thing under my eyes that comes out when i go too long without using these eye patches things but i bought a 60 pcs#pack and it turns out that the big pack is fake as shir because they're completely different different texture and so thin that they just#slide from under my eyes to my goddamn chin#also my grandmoms fridge got fucked up and i have to go over tomorrow to clean all that up how the FUCK will i transport a new one idk girl#my tiny car is too tiny to transport a regular fridge#so yes i am annoyed AND annoying. whateverrrr
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🫠
#I'm tired of being anxious all the time.... even with my adhd medication which is supposed to help with the anxiety nothing actually changes#it just becomes beyond the anxiety itself the nausea and headaches and body ache that comes alongside the constant brain burn#oh and the neck pain and stiffness. i know its not caused by anything except the stupid anxiety cuz i already exercise regularly#literally nothing much helps with anything these days#being busy 24/7. exercising. eating good. medication#nothing#and I'm exhausted 🫠🫠🫠
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leviathan!charlie also takes care of the weird plothole about her going from “hunting & hunters are scary and dangerous wtf get away from me” to “oh wow murdering people is soooo fun, guys!!! i just wish it was more magical!!!” because in this scenario it is not her going into hunting and somehow being in complete denial of the bloody reality of it, but her actually regressing to more violent tendencies in order to keep in contact with the Winchesters, who are basically the only friends she has.
leviathan!charlie who teamed up with them to take down dick specifically so that she would not have to act like she did in purgatory and could find a new life, but inevitably being drawn into the black hole of hunting/winchester-related violence. leviathan!charlie who sets out like vampires can to feed on animals…. and the occasional asshole, but that one shaky spot on her moral ground gives her room to backslide into seeing the monsters she hunts as just more assholes to eat (regardless of the fact that they are her!!! she’s a monster too! she just got lucky siding with sam and dean first!) leviathan!charlie who tries to hold onto the humanity she painstakingly taught herself, but the longer she’s around the winchesters, the harder it is to be anything but a monster.
#leviathan!charlie is both a comedic and a tragic concept btw. the same as regular charlie.#i never bought that her reading the spn novels was enough to convince her that Hunting Good and Cool. especially when she kept getting hurt.#but her clinging to hunting to cling to sam & dean (her literal only friends and connections that we know of)?#yeah. that i can see.#and with leviathan!charlie it becomes even worse for her. because how much of her is useful as a hunter. and how much will become too much#for sam & dean not to hunt her.#leviathan!charlie 🤝 castiel: if we fuck up too badly our best friend will kill us. and we might just let him.#oughuhhhh dark!charlie & good!charlie who are. basically the same as in canon. except that dark!charlie uses leviathan methods of killing#openly. and good!charlie will not eat anything. she’s fucking starving herself.#and what im saying is that Dean cuts dark!charlie’s head off to keep her from going inside the house instead of breaking her arm.#it doesnt kill her but its just. its an awful thing. sam inside watching as good!charlie bites down on the good!wizard guy and kills him#and then the skin on her neck rips open and she screams in pain and fear as she comes apart#sam gingerly carrying both her body and her head out to dark!charlie in the same state#dean staring at what he’s done….#and charlie both metaphorically and literally putting herself back together…#leviathan!charlie#charlie bradbury#spn
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help I’ve started listening to my chemical romance 😭
#just pav things#when someone’s music taste is a natural extension of my own I will assimilate their favourite artist into my being <3#and honestly this was doomed to happen too.#like. the first album I ever remember listening and doing a silly dance to was Bon Jovi’s Cross Road in KINDERGARTEN#and then I grew up with shoji meguro’s work on persona 4 golden (2012)#I’m literally the girl who thinks electric guitar is the bestest instrument ever#Soo yeah 😅 Turns out Pav was the true emo the whole time 😂#this is what happens when you grow up with literally subgenre of rock at your disposal :>#Anyways this has spurred some heated debate in my mind#Namely. Would Inigo actually listen to this in character?#ITS A COMPLICATED TOPIC THAT’S REALLY TESTING MY KNOWLEDGE OF HIS CHARACTERISATION#Just like how Dolphin asks those difficult questions about Archie where it requires really late-stage psychological thoroughness#and intimate understanding of said deepest parts of the psyche#Because here’s the deal right? We all know Inigo is wearing a false edgier persona to prevent any closeness with other people#Key word: false.#But that’s not the whole picture either is it? He has a harness up to his neck because he wallows in his guilt about Archie#It’s a torture device for him. He’s wearing uncomfortable clothing on purpose.#It almost feels like he would listen to mcr to induce the comfortable inertia of emptiness that sustains his depressed existence#It keeps him thinking about negative topics. Keeps him lost in his nightmarish slumber that is a life devoid of true connection to others#So it would help MAINTAIN his emo mask through willing engagement. Thus preventing Inigo from breaking due to sheer psychological duress~#And c’mon who would listen to ‘you know what they do to men like us in prison’ and NOT think of Archie and Inigo#Or specifically. How Inigo PERCIEVES Archie#They’re both deeply entrenched in sin :3 And Inigo thinks he doesn’t suffer enough for what he did— ‘or just not enough pain in my heart fo#your dying wish’ (dying this case being. metaphorical. y’know)#And then that line of ‘I’ll kiss your lips again’#Like kissing goodbye to a sweet death~#So like. Inigo is trying to reinforce the idea that he’s a murderer in his mind 😭#And that’s my thesis on WHY Inigo would listen to mcr and his response if appropriate 😤 He’s trying to brainwash himself ✨✨✨
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ATTEMPTED ASSASSINATION
#so im cleaning chicken thighs to marinate for tikka masala and i have a sudden sharp throbbing pain in my neck#gross chicken hands so i use the back of my mostly clean hand to touch it#and theres Something There#smack it off onto the floor and scream#i am NOT scared of bugs#but i literally cant stand still because im in so much pain#cole pulls out his id app and it IMMEDIATELY no hesitation tells us this is an ASSASSIN BUG#please why are you trying to assassinate me and how did you even get to my neck 😭 please spare me im just trying to make curry for friends#it hurts so bad and im having muscle spasms ✌️👍✌️👍#but apparently its not deadly. im just gonna have a welt and neck pain for a while 🥲
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realized i definitely have at least a mild form of scoliosis recently. sighs
#literally for Months now ive been hyper-aware of the. shit. whats it called.#anyways theres like a lump at the base of my neck now bc of my horrid posture#call me hunchback of notre dame. Anyway#its getting pretty fucking bad recently lmao. i cant stand up straight for too long without pain in my neck and shoulders#and that pain can get so bad that it makes me nauseous#so basically what im saying is i need to be rolled completely flat with a rolling pin and that would fix me 100%
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you ever sleep so badly on your side that when you yawn the pain shoots down your neck/shoulder
#what the fuck did i DO dude...#we switched from a box spring to a slats bed frame recently and that's the only thing that i think could be causing this#but is that how it works??? would that effect how my muscles feel and shit???#idk but ive literally not had neck/shoulder pain this bad since i fucking decked it trying to ski#its almost hard to think straight lmao#op
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just spent half an hour chasing a fly
#bug#bugs#i hate bugs#i just want to go to sleep#but my brain literally wont let me until its gone/dead#i think its gone though#i think i lured it out of my room#my fucking neck though#from staring at the ceiling#also staring at the light#pain
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i do not think i fully considered just how gruesome of a death being crushed by a giant bell is in the almost two years i was obsessed with a movie where that happens to the antagonist at ages 13-14 and the month and a week were i have been obsessed with a movie where that happens to the protagonist at age 18 until just now
#i mean prob bc most of my total time on this earth being obsessed with a movie where a guy dies via crushed by bell#i fucking hated the guy with a burning passion. like there is no hatred more intense than that of a 13 yr old girl towards the character#that causes their favourite character to suffer the deep amnt of pain and angst tht every 13 yr old girls favourite character has#and well he killed him for wanting to see his family again+plagiarized his work+caused him to be almost completely forgotten#yk what i still hate ernesto de la cruz w a burning passion. love and light<3#but anyway just considered it bc to tired to explain the whole story again but i had to specify tht puss didnt break his neck#while/before singing today and i j realised well you would prob break ur neck being crushed by a giant bell and then#oh my god thats such a like. grusome death being crushed by a giant bell oh my god#i mean again a lot more disturbing when its happening to a literal kitty cat cat cat kitty guy#and not a FUCKING MURDER HE WAS YOUR FRIEND HE JUST WANTED TO SEE HIS DAUGHTER AGAIN YOU PEICE OF FUCKING SHIT I FUCKING HATE YOU SO FU#but the thing its still funny. like those moments in both movies are still rly funny moments and part of that is bc its like omg wtf#but i still only j like . fully realised that huh thats a p dark way to die !#flappy rambles
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Lower back pain my beloathed 👎👎👎
#i want to sleep but noooooooo if you want to lie on your stomach you need to answer my riddles three and escape my labyrinth 🙄#i am so youthful why do i suffer so#at least it isnt spinal pain bc that shit sucks and theres literally no better position to lessen it 👍#at least like this i can turn on my side and itll go away and its just some neck pain#......i should probably bring this to the attention of a medical professional shouldnt i >:[#moss' madness
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Anyone else have neck pain cause of the weight of their hair???????
#pls tell me this isnt a me problem onky#i literally have chronic neck pain cause of my hair#its on the thicker side
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#AGH#..#im very thankful i havent been feeling like this almost every day and hour like i did over the summer like very very thankful it got better#but i still hate this feeling its one of the worst things. its worse than chronic pain its worse than just exhaustion#this head fuzz that feels like literal physical static this weird... pressure ?? ive got in my neck this feeling like my head is floating#and my heart beating out of my chest#maybe i shouldn't complain and just be thankful i dont feel like this all the time anymore but i still hate this feeling so much
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